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sunraies · 2 years ago

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Broken Glass

Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader

Warnings - blood, mentions of feeling sick, fluff, moodswinging Rafe.

You have a hard shift at the country club, and it gets worse when you have to clean up Rafe Cameron's mess.

A scene from season 2 is used.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Working at the country club meant dealing with obnoxious, rich people. Demanding everything to be done for them, right there and then with a smile on your face.

Most days, you could do it. Providing excellent service with a smile, but as the day dragged on, it became harder and harder to do. Saturday shifts were always a nightmare.

The members who had been enjoying the club during the day loved to spend the evening drinking at the club's main bar. A lot of the younger Kooks enjoyed the atmosphere on a Saturday night.

With champagne practically on tap and beer flowing more freely than water as black cards and 100 dollar bills were placed on the tables, it was a busy night.

You could see Rafe getting more and more energetic in whatever he was explaining to Kelce and Topper. You sighed as Topper stopped serving as soon as his friends arrived, leaving you to cover for him managing drinks and inpatient, drunk people.

As he put his beer down on the bar, he leant back, making fake gun noises with a grin.

Rafe looked more relaxed than usual, most likely from the alcohol and whatever drugs he'd done that day running through his veins.

He kept moving backwards, nudging into another member behind him. They were getting more and more annoyed by the second.

"Do you mind?" Bob had enough after the third time of being bumped into.

"I'm sorry?" Rafe span around to him, his smile suddenly gone.

"Do you mind?"

Rafe stared at him for a moment before leaning in closer. "Yeah, I do mind, Bob."

Bob blinked and nodded, looking deeply offended as he turned away for a second.

"Take a shot with me, pussy" Rafe picked up, the nearest shot glass and began pouring it over Bob's hand "Come on. Take a shot."

"Hey, come on, man." Topper tried to defuse the situation, but it escalated quickly as Bob jumped to his feet.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" He snapped and pushed Rafe's shoulder back, making Rafe stumble and knock over glasses on the bar. Smashing multiple in the process.

"Take a seat. That's what you need to do!" Rafe pushed him back harder, causing him to fall back into his chair in complete shock.

Bob was one of the nicest members, always polite and tipping well. He even got on with Rafe when he golfed with Ward. You'd seen Rafe angry before but to snap at Bob like that was a new level.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Kelce jumped up and pulled Rafe back as he squared up to Bob. Topper tried to get between them, but he wasn't much use, with the bar in the way.

Everyone around had gone silent, watching the exchange unfold. You hurried over from your side of the bar to Topper's, throwing a towel down over the broken glass and spilt drinks.

Kelce desperately tried to get Rafe to move away, repeating his name softly as Bob called for the manager.

"Eat shit!" Rafe pointed at him over Kelce's shoulder.

"Look at me. Look at me." Kelce sounded calm but clearly worried about Rafe.

"What?" He snapped, looking from Bob to Kelce as he breathed heavily.

"Calm down, alright?

"No one will drink with us, man,"

"I swear to god - Hey!" Kelce slapped his cheek lightly as Rafe looked around in a dazed.

Whatever he was telling Rafe, you didn't hear as you focused on cleaning up the mess of broken glass. Kelce seemed to have him under control as Bob was taken care of by another co-worker.

"Careful," Topper said as you used the towel to wipe the broken glass into the bin.

"I got it, Top"

"Just watch the big -"

"I said I fuckin' got it, Top" you snapped.

Normally, you got on with him. You could easily call him a friend. He was actually a sweetheart, and once you got to know him, you felt bad for the guy who had his heartbroken by Sarah Cameron.

But you were already stressed as it had been a day of cleaning up messes from having no lunch break on a 12 hour shift due to the lunch rush and the trash bags breaking on trash duty, leaving a disgusting stain of bin juice on your white sneakers. This was the icing on the shitty work cake. Cleaning up Rafe Cameron's fucking mess.

"Go check on your boy," you nodded towards Rafe and Kelce.

Topper looked from you to them and back again. He nodded before checking on Bob first. Seeing if he could win him over with his charm, free whisky, and the best hours for the golf course tomorrow.

You shook your head as it seemed to work. Good job Steve, the main manager wasn't in that night as Rafe would be out on his ass and Topper's job with it.

"Hey Topper! Come on, " Rafe called over to him with a smile back on his face. "Let's go, man."

He waved him over as he headed towards the door. Topper looked at you, and you sighed

"Go, I'll cover."

"You're the best." Topper smiled and quickly kissed your temple before throwing off his apron.

Rafe pointed at you as he walked backwards. "Put it on, Cameron! Add a round for everyone"

You had to laugh. One minute, he was ready to fight sweet Bob, and the next, he was offering to buy everyone drinks. He even had the cheek to wink at you. Luckily, it was towards the end of the night, so it wasn't a massive round.

As you shook your head at his wink, with a small smile, you felt a sudden sharp pain across your palm. Looking down, a large piece of glass had pierced through the towel and cut across your skin.

You stared at it for a moment before looking away and swallowing. You hated the sight of your own blood. It always made you queasy.

"Shit, shit, shit," you muttered, blinding grabbing napkins beside you and covering your hand before hurrying out to the kitchens.

It was dark, but you managed to make it over to the sink and winced as you ran your hand under the water. You tried to be brave and look at the damage before you just couldn't.

As you felt the tears welling in the cover of your eyes, the lights came on. Every little stress of the day had finally gotten too much.

"I'm fine, Top," You called, not looking over. You knew he had seen it happen. He'd been smiling goodbye, trying to push Rafe out the door as he walked backwards.

"He's says you don't like blood," Rafe's voice appeared instead, "and he's shit with it too"

You quickly wiped your eyes with your clean hand and glanced over your shoulder at him. "I'm ok, Rafe." You sighed. "You're not meant to be back here"

You really didn't have the energy to deal with him. Since working with Topper, you'd grown a civil relationship with his friends. But Rafe was still the Pogue hating Kook King. You tolerated each other when you were working or invited to one of Topper's parties.

"Says who?" He smirked, moving closer.

"The sign on the door. Or can't you read?"

"I can read perfectly well, sweetheart"

"You don't own the country club, you know that, right?"

He shrugged. "Close to it." He seemed uninterested as he started looking in cupboards.

"Whatever you are looking for. Stop." You took a glance at your hand again and winced as the water was still a little red.

"Any. Anything goes missing, and it's my job on the line." You stumbled on your words a little as you closed your eyes tight. Taking deep breaths, you tried not to break in front of him.

"You know where the first aid kit is?" He was still slamming doors, but he sounded sober.

"Uh, under the sink." You moved to get it, but he suddenly had his hands on your hips, gently moving you to the side.

"Keep rinsing it, no pressure in case there's still glass in there." He bent down beside you and rummaged through the cupboard.

All you could do was nod, grateful in your haze that you'd remember some of your first aid training. Being the only first aider on shift and unable to handle your own blood wasn't ideal.

Once he found it, he quickly checked the supplies in the small box. You watched him, welcoming the distraction from staring at the wall. He nodded to himself as he seemed satisfied that it would do before pulling out the necessary items.

"Can I look at your hand?" He sounded so gentle as he turned off the water. You glanced down to see how bad it was, but with no water, all you saw was a bloody palm.

"It's ok, you don't have to look at it," He said softly, ever so carefully taking your hand in his. His hand was warm and soft, his touch delicate as he wiped the blood away.

You hissed in a pain as he muttered an apology. "How bad is it?"

"Well, I think we may have to stitch it"

"Oh, fuck no!" You tried to pull your hand away as he laughed.

"I'm joking, baby," Rafe chuckled, "butterfly strips will do. A bit of gauze and bandage, you'll be good to go"

You hit his shoulder. "Not funny"

"Your face was a little." He had been calling you all sorts of nicknames for a while, so the 'baby' didn't faze you.

You sat on the workside after he made you while he gently put the butterfly stripes on. Once the gauze was over it you could finally look.

"Where did you learn all this?

"I was a life guard for a summer. My dad thought it would make me more responsible."

"Seemed to have worked." You smiled as you watched him place your hand on your lap while he grabbed the bandages.

"Not really." He shrugged, taking your hand in his again. "I spent most of the summer smoking behind the pool house and hooking up with any hot chick who looked my way."

You hummed. "Sounds like a fun summer"

He nodded and gave you a wicked smile. "Oh, it was."

"What happened out there with Bob?" You dared to ask. He seemed like a completely different Rafe.

"Shit with my dad," He muttered, but that was all he was going to give you.

You watched as he was so gentle in wrapping your hand. Who knew Rafe Cameron could be so delicate?

"To tight?" He asked, looking up at you. His blue eyes gave you a look as gentle as his hands.

You couldn't help the way your cheeks burned a little as you shook your head. Nope, you couldn't have a crush on Rafe. Nope, Nope, Shit.

"Perfect," you breathed as you found your words.

"Right." He nodded, still holding your hand in his warm one, his thumb absentmindedly brushing over your wrist "Perfect"

Your eyes moved from his, to his lips and back again, you caught him as his eyes copied. He leaned it a fraction more as you seemed to be drawn forward.

"How is the patient?" Topper burst through the doors, pushing them wide open as he made his wonderfully timed entrance.

"Fine, Fine," you said at the same time as Rafe had quickly moved away, rubbing the back of his head while you swung your legs.

Topper looked between the pair of you before clapping his hands together. "Well, our shifts are over. Alan is on lock up duty. Kelce heard that Cassey is throwing a party. What do you say?"

"I should probably head home." You still felt a little queasy. But you were unsure if it was from the blood or the realisation of your feelings.

"Booze are the best medicine!" Kelce appeared behind Topper

"I'm sure they are, Kel," you hopped down, "but I really just want to lay down"

You did look a little unwell, Topper realised once you headed towards him. He held your arms gently and looked over your face. "Alright, let's get you home"

"I'll take her home," Rafe offered, his eyes moving from staring at Topper's hands on you.

"You've been drinking," You pointed out, looking over your shoulder at him

"Fair point." He thought for a moment. "Top will take you home." He slung an arm over your shoulders, "and we'll come with. Right, Kelce?"

"I actually didn't have that man -" Kelce started before Rafe cut him off with a look. "Oh, no, right. Yeah. I had too many. We'll take you home in Top's Jeep"

#rafe cameron #outer banks rafe #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron x reader #outerbanks fic #rafe x reader #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #outerbanks

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demonlovingsheep · 1 year ago

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Let’s be real, dating ANY of the brothers IRL is going to be a struggle. Some more than others, but still will get you to rip your hair out due to frustrations.

Lucifer: He is the type to be hella busy due to his work. He is swamped with paperwork and his student council meeting that he doesn’t have much time to spend with you. Also being his partner, people’s expectations of you are also high. Imagine you tripped on a rock in the middle of the street, next day on social media everyone is going to talk about how “Lucifer’s partner tripped on a rock. How can he be with such a klutz. He deserves better.” While Lucifer doesn’t care about what other says because you are perfect for him, and even find those people who is quacking behind the screen, it will get to you that you would crack.

Mammon: Oh boy this one is a doozy. Yeah he is sweet from time to time, buying you sweets, flowers, and accessories from time to time and calls you the only one for him, his baby boo. Yeah your also the only one to bust him out of jail due to his crime. Good luck carrying his debt too, he got debt collectors knocking at his door getting him to cough up the money. All the more he is gonna continue to spend, and your house is going to be filled with items that might look pretty as decorations, but no other use what do ever. Oh and where did that 20 dollar bill in your wallet go? Also isn’t this your 40th time apologizing on his behalf for the problem he caused? Oh but it will be alright as Mammon give you his adorable puppy eye and all is forgiven.

Leviathan: This is the 125235th time you heard the Hana Ruri opening song. You have so many game accounts on games that you practically have no interest in but he begged you to login daily so that he could get his rewards and stuff. He rambles a lot about the newest anime or idol concert. You try to add your two bits but he keeps talking over you. If you show little interest, he will sulk thinking that of course you wouldn’t want to listen to him since he is a gross otaku. This in term will make you feel guilty and trying assure him that he ain’t. You have to do a lot of assuring, he gets jealous of so many things and cry, you’re the one with pants in this relationship. He also spend a lot of time in his room to do a game marathon that he doesn’t keeps up with his meals and have bad hygiene. It’s your job to tell him to go touch some grass. Even though his money managing skills is slightly better than Mammon, it still doesn’t prevent him from spending a ton on an ultra rare Hana Ruri card or figurine. Also you might feel jealous over his goldfish Henry.

Satan: He has poor organization skills, just look at the piles of dusty books in his room. If you ask him about it, he’ll just say that it’s how he likes it. You have to be the one to pull him away from arguments so that nothing escalates. You also don’t know where his boundaries are. He could be fine when you poke his chest or face, put will get a mad if you poke his arm or head. We all know one boundary that you should never cross which is comparing him to. However he always overthink your words, thinking you did compared him to that bastard when you just trying to give him a compliment. Pray to Diavolo that there is a cat somewhere around you. He might be calm and collective, but that can go from 0 to 100 real quick. I hope you don’t fear yelling.

Asmodeus: It’s always about him sweetie. See that photo you took at the beach the other day. He looks absolutely gorgeous under the sun’s rays. Oh you look great too daring, but not as much as him. Every time you go out with him, he will take a hour to get prepared. He will bring you to so many clothing shops and jewelry shops to try out so many items that you spent the whole entire day there. Yeah it may be fun to try out new clothings, but having to pick out outfits, heading to the fitting room to put the outfit on, stepping out for him to make a judgement, head back to the dressing room to undress, and the cycle repeats itself for like the hundredth time. After your done, good luck carrying the bags of clothes him because his figure isn’t made to carry all that heavy stuff. It’s bad for the skin. Also you can never really correct problems he caused, he always blames it on because he is too beautiful and not really getting your point. Then there are his fans who is constantly going up to him, begging for a selfie and his attention. In a club, he is going to be dragged away by his fans leaving you behind with some of them and they sneer at you or pick on your appearance. They don’t think your right for him, and will tear your self-esteem apart with every flaw you have. You never know if he truly loves you sometimes.

Beelzebub: The main problem is his hunger, which he can’t control. You try to be understanding, but having to stock the fridge for it to be emptied the very next day can really tick you off. Like you wake up one morning excited for bacon and eggs, but it’s all gone. There is not even ice cubes for you to munch on. Oh well guess you just have to order take out, but make sure to get 100 large supreme pizza please. Total: $1,672, +tip and tax. Oh and don’t forget to do groceries in the afternoon too. Good news is that he comes with you so you don’t have to carry it all, bad news is that he keeps eating the ingredients in the bag and he made you visit many food stands along the way. Rip you’re wallet. You’re also kicked out of many restaurants due to Beel bankrupting the store for eating too much, and getting angry that he isn’t allowed to order more. Also, where did that expensive golden truffle chocolate, or that new flavored newt chip that you were looking forward to eat?

Belphegor: Being lazy is a cute trait but not a useful trait, the floor isn’t going to clean itself. He always 30 minutes late on the times you agree to meet up because he overslept. He’ll fall asleep any place any time. Belphie we’re riding a roller coaster, don’t fall asleep.. ahh he is out like a light. It’s your duty to wake him up while the staff and other people in line yelling at you and him to get off already. Yeah if only you can wake him up. It’s embarrassing but at least it’s not a dangerous situation like the time he fell asleep during lab and your cauldron starts bubbling like crazy! Also he is only wide awake for 8 hours a day, and sleep the other hours away. He also likes to annoy you on purpose just to get a rise out of you for the fun of it. Nothing too serious, but it does get annoying.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me belphegor #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me headcanons #obey me nightbringer #obey me dating sim

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 1 year ago

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Housed For Now!

[New]

AS OF DECEMBER 20TH, 2023, WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT OUR NEW LANDLADY WANTS US OUT WHEN OUR LEASE ENDS IN FENBRUARY. EDIT Dec 27th 2023: We just learned that she's adding an electric garage door to the garage. Her ex-husband is working on it with an electrician friend of his and I overheard them. She doesn't intend to move in, she wants to add the small ass garage onto the lease and thinks it's worth adding another $1K+ dollars to the rent.

[Old]

Dave just doesn't get how finances work. Because he's so unhelpful and doesn't fucking listen when people speak, he's whining about how after getting paid, mom has nothing left for the month. "But we don't have to spend $230 on the storage unit anymore!" "That went into other bills, Dave!" He thinks that cuz we don't have that one issue holding us down, we're going to be able to handle everything else easily and have money left over for whatever he wants to waste it on. Because mom has had to pay one bill and let another slide as a result every month. It's how she's had to handle our financial problems this entire time. And people all over have to do things like this, it isn't a new tactic.

Mom finally paid off the bank after Dave bounced her account several times last year. She's been paying $100+ a month for ages to get that handled. That should make things a little easier now.

The car insurance has increased by several dozen dollars so it's over $150 a month now. (EDIT: Dec, 2023: It was increased again.)

Her phone and Bethy's phone have to be kept on because of her schooling and we need a functioning phone number or else we'll be in big trouble in many ways. $100+ just for 2 phones. Dave is in charge of his own damn phone.

She has to handle her Discover and Capital One cards since she's had to use them to save our asses a few times. She NEEDS to pay them off so her credit score doesn't tank, and many places won't give you a chance if your credit is low. She's got monthly payments for those around $100+ in total.

The P.O. Box price has increased. Almost $50 now. (EDIT: Dec, 2023: We had canceled it since we finally got a place to live, and now we'll need to get a new one. I'm so tired.)

Dish Network has been on pause or almost 2 years cuz she can't cancel it before the full year she paid is used up or the fee is astronomical. They keep suspiciously unpausing it and trying to lob thousands in fees at us. (EDIT: Aug, 2023: Mom finally got it taken care of by going to the Better Business Bureau with dozens of emails of proof for her case and they came down hard on Dish Network. So we're fine on that front now.)

Then we have gas for a minivan, that Dave should be paying for, but isn't. A mostly full tank is around $80 every 4-5 days. Gas is average rn. So over $400 monthly in gas. (EDIT Dec, 2023: $20 gets 4 1/2 Gallons right now. It is hell.)

We need the part for the van which is $800+. The van is just so old that finding parts for something considered an antique now is damn near impossible, and not having the money up front makes it worse. (EDIT: Dec, 2023: The van is dead and despite how the alternator was replaced and the battery and starter are fine, there's no vehicle.)

She has to pay for her medication cuz we have shit medical. She's already going without many of them but some health problems, like Asthma, can't be ignored so the inhalers are prioritized. (EDIT Aug, 2023: Our medical changed out of nowhere at the beginning of the year and all of our doctors no longer take it. No doctors take it, in fact, so our attempts to get better help have to start all over again.)

Bethy needs school supplies regularly.

But Dave just thinks that she should have all this extra money left over at the end of paying everything off. Many of these things come out instantly on the 1st of each month btw. She has to then work through what is left for the bills that aren't instantly paid off. He thinks if he works with his friend for 3 weeks, he'll have enough money for an apartment, completely ignoring that he'd only have about $1800 for a full month of work with no breaks. The cheapest 2-bedroom in Delaware requires almost all of that, which is why we're waiting on housing which charges based on your monthly income. Even if he handled the monthly rent of $1400-$1700 for a 2-bedroom, mom still has all this stuff to worry about... and then gas, water, electric, sewage, etc... Dave doesn't listen. In public housing, those things are included. Outside it, they are separate expenses.

Other Posts About Life:

[1] [2][3] [4] [5]

~.O.~

[Ko-Fi]

[GoFundMe]

[Venmo]

[CashApp: $Flame818]

[Amazon Food List]

[Amazon Christmas List]

[Meal Train]

[Patreon]

[NEW Dec, 2023]

I was right to keep on my toes about this. Dave does not read or pay attention and he just rushes into things without thinking. He's made every excuse possible to defend this lady saying she'll see how clean the house is a let us stay, but when she made a point to say she's thinking of moving in here, she isn't looking for a ruined house. She already has the reason for why she wants us out and she put it in writing, and it's because she claims to want to live here now. She doesn't need any other reason; she owns the property and that is good enough.

So, we have to be out by mid-February, which means more moving. And we just have no money and nowhere to go.

[NEWER Mar, 2024]

We need food, heat, hot water, etc... and Dave's getting scammed by a blackmailer that he's now given over $3K to... His dumbass was cheating, as he always does, and within a few conversations felt safe enough to tell this bitch all his personal business, as well as everything about his kids and grandkids. And now, cuz he offended her, she did a search on him and found his family and is how holding them over his head to Apple gift cards.

Yet he stomps in the house every day demanding to know if anyone 'gave us money'. And then got mad when mom finally snapped at him with, "No, actually Helen has gotten any commissions this month, so there's nothing in the PayPal." All cuz Dave doesn't want to admit that I've brought $16K in just through commissions alone.

#poverty #homelessness #gofundme #ko-fi #watermelonsmellinfellon

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pink---condoms · 2 years ago

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Make out sessions

Ceohusband!Dream x Lyricistwife!Reader

Genre:Romantic & cliff hanger smut.

Warnings!:kissing sessions, sloppy making out, mentions of Dream's real name Clay, hair gripping, Dream does the knee thing, huge hight difference, cursing, making out on his car hood & marking your neck.

"Mhm"

Y/n sighed as she sipped her red wine, her husband sat opposite of her watching her every move."I'm so happy, you finally decided to give your work a break" she spoke up, resting her glass down and catching eye contact with her husband.

"I'm happy too, I get to spend my time with you" he reached for her hand, placing a kiss on the back of it."Mhm, your always so busy, not having any time for me"she pouted at Clay, who chuckled at her statment.

"You know I always have time when it comes to you, darling" he reached over the table, cupping the right side of her cheek, causing her to lean in to his touch."It doesn't seem like it"she spoke, as he signaled the waiter to bring the check.

"What do I need to do to prove it to you" he smirked at her, as the waiter made his way to they table."I don't know, maybe you could tell me"she smirked back him.

They were both interrupted by the waiter clearing his throat to get they attention, which he successfully did."Your cost of meal leads up to $1456.75 Sir, you can either pay with card or cash" Clay just gave him his black amex card, telling him to also take a 100 dollar tip.

The waiter hurried off to get him his bill, "what were you saying now Mrs.Huff" he reached over to her chair, dragging it closer to his.

"I was saying Mr.Huff that you could tell me how you want to prove your love for me" she leaned over to him, her hand snaking his chest.

"Yeah?" he placed his hand on her hand that was on his chest, "yeah" she bit her lip staring at him.Clay was about to say something back, when the waiter interrupted them again.

"Your receipt sir" the waiter looked away from the couple, his cheeks burning from witnessing they intimate moment."Thank you" Clay said sternly, clear annoyance lacing his voice, which Y/n chuckled at.

Before she could even stand up her own, he lend his hand to her, which she took blushing.

Three years we've been married and he's still as sweet when we first met.

She thought to herself blushing, he smirked seeing her pink cheeks.As they exited the restaurant Clay rented for both of them alone, he pulled her closer to him by her waist, leaning down to her height and crashing his lips against hers.

Immediately she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, drawing her body closer to his.His wraps his hands around her waist, lifting her up wrap her legs around his waist.

He squeezed her ass, reaching the hood of his car, setting her down on it.Even sitting on the hood of his car still had him towering over her.

The steamy kiss was broke apart for both of them to catch they breath, before he leaned back down capturing her lips with his once again.

Reaching down, he grabbed onto her left calve bringing it up to his waist, pulling her closer so she could feel how hard he was.

That causing her gasp, which allowed him to push his tongue in her mouth.She reached behind his head to pull on his hair slightly, as their tongues danced against each other.

With his hand still holding her calve up, he nudged her other leg to the side to have him between her legs.His right knee suddenly launched forward to where her pussy was.

Pressing his knee on her clit, he broke apart the steamy make out, making his way down her neck.He knew her body like the back of his hand, so finding her sweet spot wasn't hard for him.

Once he did, he quickly sucked down on the spot,tinting her skin with his love marks."Fuck, Clay"she moaned out feeling her lover's lips on her and the pressure he applied on her.

"God,I love so fucking much Y/n" He said.

"I love you too Clay" She replied.

#dreamwastaken #dsmp fic #dsmp dream #dream #dsmp smut #mcyt x reader smut #dreamsmp x reader smut #dreamsmp smut

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katareyoudrilling · 2 years ago

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Laminated (✂️ Dieter Bravo x Female Reader)

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Female Reader

Summary: Dieter has the receipts

Word count: ~1.4k

Rating: Explicit (18+ only. NO MINORS)

Content Warnings: Vasectomy kink (aka the opposite of breeding kink), oral (F receiving), PIV, vibrator

A/N: I am as surprised as you are that out of the many fic ideas floating around inside my brain, Dieter is the one that organized his way out first! All of my vasectomy kink fics are marked with “✂️“ in my Masterlist. If you would like to join the Vasectomy Kink Club sign up for my Taglist! The link is in my bio and on my Masterlist. Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Masterlist

Taglist - link in my bio and on my Masterlist

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Dieter leans over the table where you’re working. His large hands grip the edge.

“We’ve been over this, Dieter,” you reply without looking up from your laptop.

“I know,” he hangs his head and scuffs the toe of his slipper against the hotel carpet. “Just thought you might change your mind.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Dunno,” Dieter shuffles about sadly.

“There are lots of other women, and men, on this set. I bet one of them will have sex with you.”

“Nope.” He drops down to his elbows, resting his chin in his hands. “Asked them all.”

“Well doesn’t that make me feel special.” You roll your eyes and finally glance over at him. He looks like his usual disastrous self. But somehow a ratty bathrobe and holey t-shirt suits him.

“Come on sweet cheeks, you know I asked you first.” He winks. Damn him.

It’s true. He had asked you first. You hate that you had felt a jolt of excitement when he approached you that first day but getting involved with one of the actors was never a good idea. So you declined and watched as he seemed to approach anyone with a pulse. He’s a mess, but it still surprises you that no one said yes. Did they look at him?

You shrug and keep working, unwilling to meet his puppy dog eyes.

“Oh! Oh! I know!” Dieter exclaims suddenly. He digs in the pockets of his pajama pants and pulls out a cloth wallet stuffed with bits of paper and cash and held closed by a Velcro tab. He rips it open and the contents explode across the table.

“Wow, thanks for the mess, Dieter,” you brush some crumpled 100 dollar bills off your keyboard.

“Wait, look,” he unfolds a piece of paper and lays it in front of you.

“Your STI results?” you ask, looking down the list of tests marked negative.

“I’m clean, see?” He sounds so proud.

“This is from before filming started.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since.”

“Even so, it’s not the problem. I’m sorry Dieter.” You hand him back the folded paper, then shove the rest of the mess in his direction. What looks like a laminated business card catches your attention. Amongst the scraps of paper and wads of money, it has been kept pristine.

“What’s this?” You hold up the card.

“The results of my vasectomy,” he answers as he dejectedly re-stuffs his wallet.

You look down at the card in surprise. Sure enough, it appears to be a portion of a lab printout. His name, the real one, at the top, followed by a date ten years ago and 0.0000 sperm per mL detected. Laminated.

“Is this real?”

“Of course. I would never lie about that.”

You believe him.

Dieter Bravo may be a lot of things, but in your experience, he is honest to a fault. Heat begins to stir in your belly. You swallow thickly.

“You should have led with this.”

Dieter looks up at you surprised.

“Does that… Do you…” he stutters, his brown eyes wide with hope.

This is probably an incredibly stupid decision. You will probably regret it. But at least that regret will be short-lived and not require any medical intervention. Dieter is a complete disaster, but in a really endearing way that has gotten under your skin this past month. Fuck it.

“Yes, Dieter, I want to have sex with you.”

“Amazing,” he replies as a huge smile lights up his face and crinkles his eyes.

- - - - - - - - - -

Dieter follows you into your hotel room. As soon as the door clicks closed behind him, he has you pushed up against it, devouring your mouth. He tastes surprisingly minty and fresh. You melt against his plush lips and whimper needily as he explores your mouth with his tongue.

His warm hands glide up your sides and tilt your jaw up to give him access to your neck. As his lips trail downward, you gather the courage to say the thing that has really been making you hesitate.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” you start.

“I’ll still wear a condom, if that’s what you want.”

“It’s not that. I trust you. I want you bare.”

“Fuck yes,” Dieter growls as he grinds into your body and nips at your collar bone. His loose, baggy pants do very little to hide his erection. You briefly lose your train of thought as he licks his way across the swell of your breasts.

“I can’t cum without a vibrator,” you blurt out.

“Ok,” he replies moving back to taste your mouth again.

You pull back, “What do you mean, ok?”

“If that’s what you need, then ok.”

“But…”

“But what, sweet cheeks?” He looks deep into your eyes as he traces your cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. His open and earnest expression unwinds your doubts a little bit more.

“That’s not the response I usually get,” you admit quietly.

Dieter exhales through his nose and regards you seriously. “Fuck those guys. I’ll do whatever you need to make it good for you.”

And he does.

He eats you out like a man starved. Grabbing handfuls off your ass and hips while he devours you with his mouth. His glorious tongue circles your clit with warm, firm strokes. It isn’t enough, but it feels so good that you just give yourself over to the sensation. You roll your hips into him and tug on his messy curls making him hum his approval against your center.

There’s no judgement or disappointment from him as he kisses up your stomach, not having made you come. His whiskers tickle against your skin as he attends to each of your breasts before meeting your lips once again.

You feel the fat tip of his cock nudging against your entrance and you open for him, drawing him in with your heels on his non-existent backside.

You both sigh in relief when he is fully sheathed inside you. It’s been too long. For both of you.

He feels so good dragging against your walls while he circles your clit with his thumb. You meet each thrust of his hips with your own and savor every moan that escapes his pouty lips.

Dieter’s breathing intensifies and he pulls out. “Fuck you feel so good… I don’t want to come yet.”

He reaches for your clit suction vibrator and turns it on before handing it to you. “Show me, sweet cheeks.”

He settles on his heels between your legs, stroking his cock, as you touch the vibrator to your swollen clit. You immediately arch off the bed with a gasp. He has gotten you so aroused that you are most of the way there.

You close your eyes as your walls begin to flutter and tightness builds low in your abdomen. The deep rumble of Dieter’s voice telling you how beautiful you are, how hot it is to watch you, how he wants to see you come spurs you on. You feel your orgasm approaching when Dieter surprises you by sliding back into your channel and sending you careening over the edge.

You clench around him and cry out as Dieter strokes deep and hard, syncing with the pulses of your pussy and drawing out your orgasm. You toss your vibrator to the side and he replaces it with the heel of his hand, grinding down into your clit. You spasm against his hand and dig your fingers into his broad shoulders as he finds his own release with a groan.

Dieter slips out of you and pulls you into his side. It doesn’t surprise you at all to find that he’s a cuddler.

“That was amazing,” he mumbles as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Mmhmm,” you agree nuzzling deeper into his side.

“You know what sounds really good right now?” he asks, drawing lazy circles on your skin.

“What?”

“A kitkat.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Masterlist

Vasectomy Kink Club:

@neddrollsdice @lovesbiggerthanpride @kirsteng42 @pedrohoe04 @greeneyedblondie44 @pagannightwitch @kaitieskidmore1 @alexxavicry @mandoblowmybackout @mswarriorbabe80 @nothoughtsjustmeds @loonymagizoologist @aynsleywalker @maievdenoir @ruhro7 @amneris21 @tionmeh @theravenreads @bravopeach @bport76 @eppy816 @harriedandharassed @iamskyereads @artpoppstar @pix-writes @littlemisspascal @whataperfectwasteoftime @just-here-for-the-moment @thirsty-flygirl @yespolkadotkitty @deadhumourist @wheresarizona

#dieter bravo x reader #Deiter Bravo #vasectomy kink #normalize toys #pedro pascal characters

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arabaka · 2 years ago

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ reigen arataka x (fem)hostess! reader. CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ !!! reader is a sex worker in an illicit hostess club. reader smokes with reigen. oral (m! receiving). creampie. pet name baby is used once. unprotected sex (do as i say not as i do). WORD COUNT: 4.2k PSD CREDIT !!! MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI or I WILL CRAWL IN YOUR WALLS（ ꐦꉺωꉺ)つ

*₊˚💬୧ likelihood that i'll make this a series? 100% <3

You weren’t sure where you stood when it came to believing in the supernatural but your shoulders sure felt lighter and you were struck with the first wave of clarity you’ve had in days… Consider yourself convinced.

He can see you relax, recline even, in your seat and even he feels like there’s a weight off him, although that might be because your issue turned out to be completely mundane. Another happy customer, another dollar in his pocket– but this worked out, it always did.

Head bowed, you chirp with gratitude, “Thank you so much, Reigen-san!” When you rise, he swears there’s a new glitter and glow to your eyes. Maybe he really did something after all.

“It’s no problem at all.” His eyes flicker to the table Mob usually sits at. He’s working solo today so he’ll just take your payment at his desk. Ready to take your money, Reigen extends his hand, complete with his business card but to both your surprise, you don’t have cash to give him.

Oh no. Ohhh no.

Much to your dismay, patting yourself down does not magically manifest your wallet. This is a nightmare, magnified by the fact that this Reigen Arataka was seemingly the real deal. Your fear is written all over your face, lips trembling as you murmur nonsensically about where you could have possibly left your wallet. Your face falls further; you left it at home and you were stations away. What’s even more awful, your shift at work was starting soon and you still had a whole evening ahead of you. “I’m so sorry.” Your voice barely above a whisper, you fess up, “I left my wallet at home. I swear, I thought I had it!”

He’s less than impressed but he isn’t about to give you a hard time about it. You’re clearly worked up as it is and he’s not a monster; he won’t make you feel worse than you already do. “It happens.” You don’t strike him as someone to trick someone out of paying, he thinks. “D-Don’t worry about it!” His attempts at comforting you aren’t what cause you to suddenly exhale in relief; you feel a bill in your pocket. “Aha! I knew it!” Your enthusiasm is short lived. Turns out, it was a coupon for a service your job offered to new clientele. But maybe he would be interested?

“I have this voucher from my job… It’s not super far from here actually. Could you take this for now? I promise I’ll pay you!”

He gives the advertisement a look over but he can’t really deduce what the business is supposed to be by the logo and name alone. “What do you all do–” Reigen starts to ask but he’s abruptly cut off by your phone’s ringtone. It’s your manager.

You’re frantic speaking to your boss, zipping off the chair and pacing around the office, so Reigen keeps himself busy. A few mouse clicks and several loud clacks of keyboard keys later and…

Your job is a club.

You work at a hostess club.

But not one of those clubs, right? He thinks he would know if a place like that opened right under his nose. The website is cutesy and a live gallery gives Reigen’s all sorts of ideas, namely how you might look in the club’s uniform of choice: a maid costume, designed to mimic a cyber aesthetic, complete with glow-in-the-dark accents. His face is bright and flushed by the time you whirl back to him, phone in your pocket as you excuse yourself.

“I’m so sorry, they just called me in!” You’re so absorbed in your own dilemma, you fail to see just how flustered he is. “I have to go. But– but if you come by, I’ll have your payment! I swear!”

It happens so fast, the silence you leave in your wake is hard to stifle.

He could have just written it off as a loss. He could have chalked it up as the best performance he’s ever seen.

So why is he walking to your place of work, his stride fast with his hands in his pockets and his head bowed low, like he hopes no one will notice him? He can’t think of an answer that paints him a decent, upstanding man so he walks fast enough that his sensibility has no hope of catching up. He doesn’t have to do much to hide. The sun has already long set, so he moves in the shroud of darkness along with other stragglers in the streets. The closer he gets, the louder he can hear his heartbeat in his ears.

The noise is replaced by electronica music being played from stereos hung from every corner in the venue. It’s dimly lit– no, that’s not it. The whole lobby thrives under blacklights in every variation, more than Reigen could have thought even existed. His skin grows clammy. The place looks lavish, the voucher must have been for a novelty discount, he thinks while nervously backing away towards the entrance but then he locks eyes with you and even under the room’s purple hue, he can see just how pretty you glow.

Then his eyes travel just inches lower and he can see just how well you fill out your uniform.

You don't give him even a second of recovery time, the poor soul, as you make a beeline for him the second you see him. You don't have the money on you, just another excuse (a completely valid one at that, you weren't a scammer) but it becomes all too clear to you that he isn't here to collect. He's here to indulge.

He's meek when handing over the coupon you gave him earlier. Can you blame him? He isn't the type to peruse these establishments and he doesn't exactly know what to expect. He's like a dog with his tail between his legs, ashamed.

But you'll take good care of him because he's your pet for as long as he'll have you.

"I'm so happy you chose me for tonight!" As if he ever had an option. "I hope I can return the favor and help you relax a little." He's happy he can hear you clearly; the private room you've whisked him to is just as extravagant as the rest of the place but it's leagues quieter. You'd sounded cute before but here you sound angelic. Your voice is smooth like honey, sweeter too, and makes him feel like he's the only one who will ever get to hear it. He knows that's not true but buying into the lie for a change sounds pretty nice.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Want to smoke?" Huh, smoking does sound pretty good right now, he muses and he bets it wouldn't hurt to ease his nerves a little. But you're so good at what you do, you don't need him to use words to tell you what he wants. You crawl onto the couch, the cushion squishing under your knees as you dock your legs on both sides of his left one, sinking to a comfortable seat on his thigh like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You make him choke on his breath as he feels his muscle come in contact with your bottom, your underwear. Thriving from how stunned speechless he is, you glide your hand on his chest and under his suit and that's where you find them. His cigarettes. You had seen them briefly during your session with him earlier so you knew he'd have them on him. You ready his nicotine, a sterling silver lighter in hand shining bright with a pink flame, and when he gives you a small nod of the head, you gingerly place the cigarette in his mouth and light him up.

Reigen purses his lips around the cigarette instinctively, taking a drag until the rush washes over his brain and exhales it all out: the smoke, his nerves.

"I wouldn't have thought you did this sort of thing." His Adam's apple bobs. Just how far would you take this? How far could he take this? His hand replaces yours in holding the cigarette, holding a position he's never quite had with anyone else. You drag his free hand to your thigh, guiding him to run his palm up your body. He hiccups at how soft your skin is, how he can so easily cup the plumpness of your thigh.

"I'll take that as a compliment." You giggle with pride, hovering your hand up and away from his now that he's got the idea. "The voucher's only good for an hour but…" Your voice trails off as both your hands dance up his arms until clasping behind his neck. You dig further into his leg, just ghosting your clit on the motion back up. "You can have me for as long as you want, as thanks for earlier."

It all feels so good, so surreal he has to be dreaming and his brain must be so cruel for concocting such a mouth-watering scene. But no, this is real. You're real. He puffs the cigarette, giving in to your touch as you lean forward, chest-to-chest, and start to litter kisses on his exposed neck. "We can also just talk and drink." Your whispers are hot against his skin. "Totally up to you."

You're a teasing little minx, he has to give you that. He doesn't want you to stop, he makes that very clear with how his grip on your thigh tightens when you freeze your motions, if only for a moment. "Talk and… this."

His wish is your command. You unclip what appears to be a portion of your outfit and what falls away is your skirt, now revealing the V-line cut of the garment underneath. You're down to your panties, running your cunt down his thigh while your hands move down, one to draw circles on his chest and the other to run teasingly along his belt buckle. "Okay, then tell me… Have you ever been to place like this before?" You had a feeling you knew the answer but it's always more fun to hear the confession.

"N-No." Reigen speaks in more of a groan at that point, relishing the clothed feeling of your clit being stimulated on his leg. "First time." He pulls another drag from his cigarette and like the good servant you are, you already have a heart-shaped ashtray for him to use as he pleases. Your hands haven’t left him for more than a second but he already misses your touch, the way your fingers had been playing so demurely with his hair, as intensely as the cool menthol flooding his bloodstream.

Oh first-timers. You loved your regulars but new blood was just so intoxicating, so special. You were in the business of making people feel good and you were damn good at it, practically feeding off how their pupils would get so blown out from your touch, your words. You could so easily turn a stranger to a regular and you had a sneaking suspicion that you would be seeing more of this Reigen Arataka. A lot more. You would make sure of it.

“I’m happy to be your first time then.” You grace him with a coy smile, your upper arms strategically squeezing your chest together for his viewing pleasure. You follow his eyes as they flit over to your breasts, lust flooding his pupils and his cock. The member stirs in the crosspoint of his slacks, pitching an obvious tent in no time flat. You see his cigarette wobble between his fingers. He still has quite a bit to go but you can see him weigh out his choices; should he finish his smoke or give himself over to you? “Want me to help you with that?” Your purring tickles his cheek as you cover the skin with generous pecks. He nods from under you and that’s when you pluck the cigarette from his hand, puckering your lips around the stick and taking a final drag. You feel his erection flex in his pants at this and this makes you giggle. Not at him, but because of him. “Indirect kiss.”

“How about a real one?” Say no more. He jumps on the opportunity, hungry lips capturing yours in a kiss that is clunky but has enough passion in it to make that nonconsequential. The cigarette tastes better on you, he decides as his mouth moves against yours with his tongue slipping past your lips in an effort to get more of your flavor in his system. You lap up the moans bubbling from his throat, hips dipping deeper against his thigh as you grind up exhilarating friction for the both of you. Your hands, now free to do as they please, curl back around his neck before swiping down, fingers teasingly drawing circles around his nipples until you draw out a pretty little squeak for your consumption.

Palms sliding down his abdomen, you massage and grope his erection until he’s bucking up into you. You bounce along his leg, lips popping free from his with a thin bridge of spit coming and going as you lean back. “Anything off limits?” You ask but can he really answer? There’s so much he wants to do, so much of you he wants to experience and burn into his memory for the days and weeks to come. Where does he even begin? How can he choose when all of you looks so delicious, feels so right?

You cup his face and bring him to another kiss, smiling against his lips when you feel his hands finally settle on your waist. His firm hold glides you down his leg but you can feel his cock become ravenous for more with every swipe of your clit. And to be honest, you’re dying for something more… Filling.

“I–” His voice cracks. How embarrassing. But when he meets your gaze, there isn’t an ounce of mockery or malice. When you look at him, he only sees adoration glossing your vision and it’s absolutely mesmerizing. And that’s when he decides, “I want you to suck me off.” He just has to see what those big eyes of yours look like when you’re sucking him to the hilt. “Of course, anything you want, Mr. Psychic.” You coo with some light chuckling, smoothly raising yourself off his lap and getting down on your knees between his legs. You make quick work of his belt, tossing it so it falls and flattens your discarded skirt piece. Next come his pants and boxer briefs, which you shimmy of his legs until they too are in a crumpled heap on the floor around his ankles.

Well, well, well. If looks aren’t deceiving. His slacks had contained his erection so well, you had no idea he would be this big. He might be the biggest you’ve ever had but there’s not a challenge in this world you can’t conquer. “Wow.” You croon, eyelashes batting prettily as you wrap your fingers around his cock and start to litter kisses all over his shaft, from the underside to the top. “So beautiful.” It’s the first time he’s ever heard someone say that and combined with your loving touch, he’s shivering. You press your tongue flat against his cockhead, the tip of your tongue just barely poking into the slit on its way to coating the rest of his member with your drool. Your tongue is hot as it runs down his veins, drawing zigzags on his length until you dip your head low and capture one of his balls in your mouth, sucking hard until a guttural moan bursts free from his mouth. You free it with a pop but you quickly perform the same routine on the other, not wanting to leave any part of him untouched.

“G-God.” Reigen groans on an exhale, hands contracting and for once, he doesn’t know what to do with them. “Grab my hair.” You instruct, breath hot on his cock as you clamp your lips on the end of his cock before you start to work on taking him all the way to his base. He listens and he listens well, hands quickly flying to either side of the crown of your head, fingers desperately curling around your locks as more and more of him enters your mouth. Reigen gasps when the tip of your nose comes to rest against his pelvis. You take a beat, letting his engorged cock fill your mouth before you start to bob your head up and down his shaft. Your cheeks hollow as the pressure you envelope around him intensifies to a degree he’s never felt before.

You’ve more than made up for your session earlier. Hell, he feels like he owes you at this point. The way you look at him, pupils large with ecstasy, makes his cock pulse in your mouth which you attend to with the swirl of your tongue until spit starts to well up and bubble over from the corners of your mouth. Your hands join in on the action, one massaging his balls with pressure coming from your thumb while the other starts to pump his length with little regard for how sloppy your movements start to become. It’s all so much. You’re so much. “I’m gonna– I’m gonna–” He can barely choke out the words, lids growing heavy as he starts to push himself further into your mouth until you’re suffocating with him. His cock gives one final spasm before he spills himself into you, hot and salty cum flooding your mouth but you drink it all down like it’s a refreshing glass of water.

His cock springs out of your mouth, slapping against his stomach with a wet pap but much to your surprise and delight, he stays hard. “I can go for another round.” Reigen follows up on an exhale, his hand strongly gripping his cock and giving it a few pumps before asking you all too politely, “Can… Can we go again?” You love a man who doesn’t beat around the bush. “Of course.” You tenderly lick a stripe down the head of his cock, letting the remants of his cum coat your tongue. “Show me how you want it.”

His lips are parted, mouth agape until he swallows hard. Leaning forward, he smooths the pad of his thumb along your cheek, measuring his fat and long member against your face and sighing dreamily at just how diminutive you look next to him. “Want you to ride me.” He begs, sweat on his brow and breath stalling in his throat as he watches you rise to your feet. “And—” He takes a sharp and shallow breath, “I want you to strip.”

Apron and panties meet the same fate as the rest of your outfit and just like you were before, he’s in awe of you. It feels unreal, how you saunter back over to him and take your rightful seat on his lap, his cock lying flat over your pelvis while your clit tingles at the base of his member. “Please.” Reigen pleads for mercy, eyes straining to keep focus as you rub yourself on his length. “Need to feel you.”

“Yes sir.” And with that, you hover over his member until the tip grazes over your pussy. You don’t make him wait much longer than that, guiding his cock past your folds until you can feel that delicious stretch overtaking you as you lower all the way down to the base. Bottoming out inside you is better than any high, greater than any other success he’s had in a long while. A shaky moan skirts past his lips as he feels your walls contract around his girth; you’re going to be a new addiction, he fears and he hopes all at the same time.

Now his hands are groping your ass, squishing the fat of your cheeks as he rolls his hips into you. His motions into you are slow at first but you tighten around him so much, he can’t help but start to pummel into you, harder and faster until he settles on a rhythm you both can agree on. You throw your head back, expression flushed with raw pleasure as you give all of you to him, letting him push himself further and deeper into you with every thrust. Oh, he won’t just be a regular. He’ll be your favorite.

His name sounds so beautiful falling off your tongue and you look just as good bouncing up and down his cock, your tits looking more and more appetizing as the seconds tick by. He just has to have a taste. One of his hands travels up to the small of your back, pressing your forward until he latches around one of your nipples, teeth lightly grazing the skin before he starts to suck and lick at your breast with ravenous hunger. Your sweat tastes so sweet to him as he curls his tongue around your nipple until he feels it start to harden around him. He only pops free with a groan as you grind down his cock, angling the tip just right that your core starts to go haywire.

“Feel so fucking good.” Reigen hisses before lavishing your other breast with the same tender care as the other. His gaze shifts, first to watch as your eyes roll to the back of your head and then to your reflection in the mirror ahead of you two, transfixed by how your ass shakes and wriggles while his cock jackhammers into your quivering pussy. Your juices start to leak, mixing indiscriminately with the spit still layered on his cock and your cunt starts to tremble around him.

You don’t need to tell him that you’re close. He can feel it because he is too. But it sure as hell does make him feel ethereal when you whimper, “I’m going to cum soon, sir. Can I? Please, can I?” Oh, you don’t know what havoc you just unleashed, begging for him like he’s the only one that can take you to Cloud Nine.

“Fuck— Yes, yes you can, baby. Can I come inside?” He growls, his mouth now over yours as he thrusts haphazardly into your cunt until he can feel your walls shake and conulvse around his member. The sounds of your squelching heat fill your ears, maybe clouding your decision when you mewl into his mouth, “Yes, yes, please!”

Your gummy walls hug his cock tigher and tighter as he pumps you full of his cock until he’s beating against your cervix with reckless abandon. His nails dig curved indentations into your ass but you delight in the sensation, funneling the pain into indescribable pleasure. Oh, he’s a gift, your body awash with a degree of gratification you’ve never felt before. You can feel your pussy molding itself to his member. Maybe you’re at the point of no return; could anyone top this?

Your pussy flutters around his cock as it spasms in your cavern until you feel him jerk so violently, he floods your cunt with thick strings of his load. You too start to feel your high expand until you burst at the seams with him bottomed out inside you. You throb around him, walls convulsing as your release starts to spill out down his balls and onto the couch. Needing more of him, you kiss him with fiery intensity, licking into his mouth as you start to float down from your climax. Reigen meets you at your level, indulging on every sound you give him as she start to relax all around him. When you pull apart, it’s not because you want to but because you need to breathe or you’ll soon pass out.

“Fuck.” Is all either of you can manage to muster when all is said and done.

Looking at the time, he can’t even discern how long either of you have been at it. What he can see, as unfortunate as it may be, is an hour at which he should be sleeping. He has his first client bright and early in the morning and if he’s going to want to see you again, he has to keep the cash flowing. But god, why do you have to look at him with those eyes, that pout, when he tells you that he has to go? How can he say no to that, how can he resist filling you with his seed one more time? Just one more… Just one more…

You follow him into his dreams, so it’s no wonder he sleeps past his alarms and ends up rushing like a fool to work but at least his steps are light and his soul is satisfied. He’s already whipping up witty lines in his head to ease the ire of his first client, though not without images of you infiltrating his brain. He’s practicing his performance, uttering strings of sorrys and promises of future discounts, when he sees not his appointment but you.

You with two coffees in hand and a smile brighter than any sunrise.

“Need a pick me up?”

Oh, you’re going to be the death of him. Of him and his wallet.

#reigen #mp reigen #reigen arataka #reigen arataka x reader #reigen x reader #reigen x you #reigen arataka x you #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mob psycho 100 fanfic #x reader #x fem!reader #x f reader #reigen arataka smut #reigen smut #mp100 imagines #mp 100 #.˚₊ ੈ ʚ 🍰 ɞ ₊˚. ꒰ a little treat for reigen. ꒱

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bellybiologist · 1 year ago

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TLDR: Verzi Need Money. Here Link for Helping Fill Money Bar with Money Juice. -Ko-fi -Commission form (Open again! Note the price increase!) -Patreon -Paypal.me

Okay! Verzi need money. So! Here's this.

This shitty meter here is just for a bit of transparency (Graphic design is NOT my passion), cuz people like to know where there money is going. This will fill up as with funds from my patreon (money I got this month is already there!), from commissions, and from any tips/extras given by kind souls in passing, and I need to hit these marks EVERY month for like… a year. (This is after fees and such of course, cuz god forbid we don't pay the middle-men their dues.)

I will update this thing as time passes so ya'll will know where I'm at. Reblogging/Sharing is welcome, encouraged, and greatly appreciated!

A bit of info for each section under the Readmore:

-Rent and Bills: The Most Important thing to Keep Verzi Kickin'! I pay half my apartment's now $1368 rent PLUS the utilities, which range from 100~200 bucks, splitting with my aunt who works 2 jobs to make sure she pays her half. Since my mom passed away from Pancreatic cancer in 2021, this has been rough since it used to be split 3 ways.

-Dental Costs: The face bone doctors want my money after drilling holes and pulling out the insides!! My face actually feels BETTER so i'm not as mad as I COULD be about this, but this needs to be paid for the next 12 months. (And they want MORE money to do a cleaning and I almost laughed. Like, no buddy you ain't getting 750 out of me when I don't even have a refrigerator.(See Below))

-Big Purchase+Credit Card bills: It wont pay off ALL my credit card debt, but it keeps me from falling behind. Since the passing of Michael and Fred (my microwave and refrigerator respectively) I need to make some big purchases so my kitchen functions. Michael has been successfully replaced by Mikaela, and we are still looking for Fred's replacement. Ms. Frida, the chest freezer who is literally older than I am (I am 33!!) and STILL functions is holding down the fort while we look for a refrigerator. We can live without a fridge thanks to her constant service, allowing us to keep frozens. Also, like, literally on the 30th of July, Monty the Monitor must've succumbed to heatstroke so i had to buy one of THOSE too for my computer setup. I will name all my appliances to cope.

-Extra+Taxes: Once we get here, I'm in the clear for the month's expenses! However!! Taxes are due in October. I DO NOT know how much that will be, and since the whole Covid relief thing that lessened business taxes ended last year, I MAY be paying for quite a bit!! Anything past this point will be prepping for Taxes AND forming a buffer for More Happenings (God forbid).

===== Rewards??? Rewards!! =====

I considered a Drive like other kink artists in these circles, but I don't like drives for several reasons and those reasons are why I've never done one in the past. Despite that, I STILL want to do something that at least feels like a reward or incentive for people keeping me Alive™, so I'm going to do some simple doodles/sketches, and possibly try to stream those doodles in my discord!

Every 100 bucks past the "Rent and Bills Paid" section (meaning at 900 dollars and onward), I will do a RANDOM drawing from any requests/suggestions from the pool made by people who threw some cash monies my way!

Suggestions can be sent in through Ko-fi messages, Paypal notes accompanying payments/donations/tips, and a Patreon-only post (they are always giving me money, so patrons have access by default!). Commissioners who send in the form can ALSO suggest something for the pool if they like! (there's a question on the form for it) Now, like all requests, it's ultimately up to my discretion on whether or not I will draw something, but I will still try to keep it random and let it be a roll of the dice (or a RNG app).

There is no minimum requirement either! So people throwing only $1 at me, buying only one Ko-fi, or dropping anything bigger are free to offer a suggestion. But please limit requests/suggestions to one entry per person.

Now, as to what these will and can be:

-It will be a simple lined sketch with one color or flat colors. Depends on how many need doing, how I'm feeling when I draw it and how complicated it is.

-It can be up to 2 characters, but they may be less refined compared to a single character one. They can be the same character in 2 different states, or 2 different characters interacting with each other.

-No private requests please! It will have to be something that can be publicly posted and that you're fine with being perceived by others.

-In terms of kinks/sizes/etc, it will be something that you'd normally see on this blog or for my work! Mileage may vary, but more extreme stuff that I'd normally avoid may be glossed over when I'm constructing the pools.

-Unlike commissions, these will not go through a WIP stage/be modified after the fact! They end up how they end up. If you wanna be nitpicky, please use this opportunity to order a full commission!

-You're allowed to suggest OCs as long as it's yours or its owner has given permission to draw them in the context I am known to put boys in!

#Help a sista out #verzi's art

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saitama-division · 11 months ago

Note

It was exactly 11:00 A.M. in Saitama when the famous model, Lola Takahashi, left her apartment complex to head down to the modeling agency. Same as everyday, with no change, save unless it was some special occasion. No big deal.

...Of course, the model in an effort to have dozens of flashing cameras on her, failed to take note of her surroundings. For the past several days, someone had been watching her, taking note of her routine. They had done this for the past several days until it was the day of Christmas. As the model departed once more to the modeling agency, the strange observer finally made their move.

Walking up to the front desk of the apartment, the stranger slipped the man behind the desk counter an envelope. Raising an eyebrow, the man opened the envelope. His eyes grew wide as inside the white folded paper were over 100 neatly stacked dollar bills. Looking at the stranger once more, the man looked as they slid a note to them. Picking it up, the man read it and their eyes grew wide as it contained only five words, but the message was clear:

'The key to the penthouse'

The desk assistant and stranger stared at each other for up to 15 seconds before the man wordlessly dropped both a hard key and a keycard into the stranger's hand. With a nod, the stranger walked towards the elevator and swiped the card, sending them to the very top floor. Upon reaching the only apartment available, the stranger unlocked the front entrance and took in the apart of the supermodel, Lola Takahashi.

The whole place made the stranger sick. They could smell sex, alcohol, used toiletries, and above all, desperation. Ugh, they needed to hurry and do what they came to do so they could hurry up and leave this place. Shaking their head, the stranger placed the large black duffel bag they had brought with them down on the ground and opened it up, pulling out various tools. It was time to get to work.

Two hours later...

At long last, the stranger was done. To the untrained eye, it looked like nothing at all was done. The apartment was pretty much in the same way it was when the stranger walked in. Of course, that was only if you weren't a master saboteur, which the stranger was. That was why they were hired, after all. Smirking behind their mask, the stranger gathered up their tools and locked the door behind the apartment. They then returned down to the first floor, and walked up to the desk. Dropping the key and card down on the desk, the stranger wordlessly exited the apartment complex.

Making their way out, the stranger pulled out their cell phone, opened up their text messages and typed a message to an unknown number. The message was short and sweet:

'Job is done. Expect results soon.'

With that, the stranger disappeared out of Saitama, their work complete.

Several more hours later...

The figure of Lola Takahashi was busy running home from the nightclub she was previously in, in a panic. Why is that, you ask? Well...

It may or may not have had something to do with the fact that her hair was currently itching like crazy due to the fact that she had somehow or other come down with a bad case of head lice.

It could have been due to the fact that her face was suddenly breaking out like crazy, coming down zits and pimples galore.

Or, it could have been the fact that dozens of people were laughing at her and she had to get home before her reputation worsened. It could have been all of those things and more. Whose to say, really?

As the model finally made it home, she thought her problems were finally over. However...

As she opened the door to her apartment...

A huge explosion went off that sent the model tumbling back. When she had finally regained her bearings, she found her entire living room and most of her kitchen filled with glitter, as well as a noxious foul odor. The model looked around in shock as her entire apartment was absolutely ruined!

Who the hell could have been responsible for this? This was supposed to be Christmas day! A day where she was supposed to have fun and celebrating! Instead, her entire evening had been absolutely ruined!

The itching in her hair reminded her of the pain she was currently in and she quickly ran to her bathroom, ignoring the mess in her apartment for now. As she turned on the light, she looked at the large mirror in her bathroom and stopped in shock as there was a message on it, which finally brought to her attention who was responsible for all this...

In Okinawa...

In her bedroom of Eagle's Nest, Evelyn was busy sipping a martini through a fancy straw, a smile on her face. She didn't know why, but she felt pretty good about today as a dark smile made it way to her face.

"Alexa, play 'Gives You Hell' by All-American Rejects."

"Sure. Playing 'Gives You Hell' by All-American Rejects on Apple Music."

Obeying the command, the A.I. began playing the song on her device as Evelyn continued smiling, humming the lyrics to the song.

Back in Saitama...

The model was busy staring at the message on her bathroom window. What was the message, you ask? It was simple, containing only six words, yet the message, itself, was clear:

'DON'T FUCK WITH A CALIFORNIA BITCH'

Several days ago...

"So... you want my help to get Lola back for pranking you on your birthday?"

"I wouldn't, like, ask if I didn't need your help."

"And what, exactly, is keeping me from telling her or Sumire about your little plan?"

"I'll pay you for your help."

"...How much we talking?"

"I don't care how much. Price isn't, like, an option for me."

"...Let's say I say 'yes'. What exactly do you want me to do?"

"I don't, like, give a damn! Just make that bitch regret fucking with me, so she, like, gets the point not to do it again."

"..."

"Well? Are you, like, in or what?"

"...Meh, what the hell? I had nothing else to do. And I don't particularly care for her anyway. Plus, since Sumire helped her, that pretty much makes her fair game, anyway."

"Great! How much?"

"We'll discuss price after I'm done."

"Awesome! Like, thanks Aranai!"

"Meh, what can I say? I'm always up for a game of 'Prank War'."

“God Tsumugi, you look horrible.” Lola Takahashi wrinkled her nose in disgust as she stared at her pitiful assistant who was too busy scratching her scalp off her head, the blonde wig thrown and discarded. The two walked back towards the ruined living room, the blonde model clicked her tongue in annoyance, she was definitely going to have to call someone to clean all this up but she could worry about that later, besides, she had three other penthouses in other Divisions she could stay at and there was Sayaka’s place too.

Lola took a sip of her hot chocolate before speaking. “Though I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming, like c’mon who the fuck does that dumb bitch think I am? It was only a matter of time before she would clap back but honestly, who the fuck pranks someone on Christmas? Talk about a fucking grinch, am I right?”

“L-Lola-san! Please!” Tsumugi cried out, tears streaming down her pimple infested face as she tugged and pulled at her hair. “Please help me, I did what you asked me to do!”

“I know, darling, I know.” Lola cooed, pouting. She genuinely did feel bad about throwing her loyal assistant into the line of fire but there was no fucking way that she was going to lay down and take whatever ameuter scheme Evelyn fucking Rose had planned for her. “You were so good for me, you did everything I told you too and more, to think I was worried that this wouldn’t work, don’t worry, you’ll be compensated very generously and I want you to take a few days off to recover, you’ll be paid of course and I just want to say thank you so much, you really saved my ass.” The model beamed.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, how is Lola still standing in one piece and looking as beautiful as ever if not more? Wasn’t someone stalking her? How could she have slipped under their radar? Well…

— Several Days Ago —

Lola raised a brow at Sumire’s caller ID before answering, placing the phone up to her ear. “Hey Sumi, what’s up?”

“Hey Lola, do you remember that prank you pulled on Evelyn for her birthday?”

A wide smirk graced the Russian model’s face, oh how glorious it was, she was so grateful for Sumire for helping her and sending her the camera footage of Evelyn having a mental breakdown in the bathroom. “Of course, dear, it quite literally happened yesterday. Why do you ask?”

“Well I’m sure you already know but Evelyn is determined to get it back in blood, I overheard a conversation between her and Aranai, I think it’s best if you lay low for a few days.”

Lola rolled her eyes, sighing. “Oh god, the hell is that bitch planning?”

“Dunno but since she’s turning to Aranai for help, it’s definitely something to be on your guard for, I should know. Look, don’t tell anyone this but I’m willing to help you out again, I can hide you somewhere until it all blows over.”

Lola raised a brow, surprised and a bit touch that the anarchist would do this for her. “Aw, thank you Sumi but I gotta ask, why? Look, you know I’m willing to pay whatever price you have.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re one of the few people in this country that I genuinely like, besides I’ll be damned if I let Aranai one up me. So? You in or out?”

“Hold on gorgeous, I can’t just suddenly disappear out of nowhere, especially after I gave Barbie Bitch her gift, not only would that be suspicious as hell but that’ll also make me look cowardly and I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone think I’m scared of that skank. Plus, it’ll be cruel to deprive my adoring fans of their daily dose of Aphrodite.” Lola pouted and she could practically see Sumire rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, I get it but what are you going to do? It’s not like you can find someone to fill in for you while you’re gone.”

That made Lola pause for a moment before her eyes lit up as she had an idea, “Actually…I do.”

“Wait what-“

“I gotta go Sumi, send me the details later!”

“Lo-“

Lola hung up and immediately began dialing a new number, tapping her fingers impatiently as she waited for whoever was on the other line to pick up.

“Lola-san? Is something wro-“

“Tsumugi! Do you want a raise?!”

— Now —

“Dolly’s on her way now, Tsu-Tsu, she’ll take you to a doctor to get yourself treated, now you just focus on resting up and getting better, okay? I’ll need my perfect assistant at her best!” Lola beamed at the still scratching girl as she left her penthouse and took the elevator down to the lobby, her eyes landed on the reception desk where a man was usually supposed to be but he was unfortunately let go…into the back of a black van, the model had a feeling that the beaches of Okinawa will receive a rather unpleasant surprise.

Huffing, the blonde took out her phone again and dialed a number, putting the device next to her ear as the other line picked up. Immediately, Lola was greeted to the sound of people cheering and screaming along with other unidentifiable noises before a clear voice spoke.

“Yo.”

“Hey Sumi~” Lola greeted, smiling brightly. “You sound busy, I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“Ehhhhh, not really, I’m just enjoying a show, what’s up, how was the trip back?”

“Oh it was great! Hey, listen, thank you so much for all your help, I really owe you big time.”

“No problem, so, what are you gonna do now? I mean, your place isn’t exactly ‘habitable’ now, also do you plan on getting Evelyn back?”

Lola sighed and rubbed at her forehead, feeling a headache coming. “I’m not worried about that, I can always have it fixed and I’m not short on places to find shelter. I’m just gonna kick back and relax today, I mean it is Christmas after all, plus there’s a certain birthday girl I need to visit.”

“Ahhh, that’s right, tell Kureha I said happy birthday, but what about Evelyn?”

“Will do, and what about her? I’ll let her think she’s won, it is the holiday after all and mainly because I don’t want to have to deal with her irritating ass more than I absolutely have to. Until I beat her ass to the point where she’s unrecognizable in the DRB, I want nothing to do with her.”

“Gotcha gotcha, merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas~”

Did you really think I was going to make it easy on you, Taito dear? 🖕

#hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypnosis microphone #lola takahashi #sumire shinomiya #evelyn rose #aranai norikoru #ace douglas #rashaad young #merry christmas 2023 #hypmic christmas 2023 #you thought you were real funny huh Taito?#Well who’s laughing now bitch?

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marketingprofitmedia · 1 year ago

Text

How to Start an Affiliate Marketing Business: A Step-by-Step Guide

Welcome, aspiring entrepreneurs and future affiliate marketing mavens! Are you ready to dive into the world of affiliate marketing and embark on a thrilling journey to financial independence? Well, you’re in luck because this step-by-step guide is your ticket to unlocking the secrets of starting a successful affiliate marketing business. And hey, don’t worry — I promise to sprinkle in some humor along the way to keep you entertained!

Affiliate marketing, my friend, is like a delightful symphony of partnerships and profit-sharing. It’s a way for you to earn a slice of the revenue pie by promoting other people’s products or services. Imagine being a smooth-talking, commission-earning champion who effortlessly convinces customers to click, purchase, and make it rain with those sweet affiliate commissions. It’s like being the smooth operator of the online business world, minus the velvety voice (unless you have one, in which case, kudos!)

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Choosing a Niche

The thrilling quest to find that perfect slice of the internet where your affiliate marketing prowess will shine like a disco ball at a dance party. But fear not, my ambitious friend, for I shall be your guide through this perilous journey of niche exploration.

Picture this: you’re on a quest to find a niche that’s both profitable and aligned with your interests. It’s like searching for a rare gem hidden amidst a sea of cat videos and meme-filled social media feeds. The key here is to strike a balance between what tickles your fancy and what makes those dollar bills rain. You want a niche that excites you, something you’ll enjoy diving into day after day, even when the internet seems to be playing hide-and-seek with your motivation.

So, where do you start? Well, it all begins with a little reconnaissance. Take a deep dive into the vast ocean of niches out there. Research, my friend, is your trusty ship sailing through uncharted waters. Look for niches that align with your passions, hobbies, or areas of expertise. Are you a fitness enthusiast with a knack for protein shakes and burpees? Maybe the health and wellness niche is calling your name. Or perhaps you’re a tech aficionado who can speak the language of gigabytes and RAM. The technology niche might be your digital playground.

But hold on, before you dive headfirst into your chosen niche, it’s time to put on your detective hat and analyze the competition. Yes, my friend, you’re Sherlock Holmes in the realm of affiliate marketing, minus the pipe and deerstalker cap (though you’re welcome to wear them if it gets you in the mood). Investigate the market saturation, assess the competition’s strengths and weaknesses, and determine if there’s room for your affiliate marketing brilliance to shine.

Once you’ve narrowed down your options, it’s time to weigh the profitability of your chosen niches. It’s like playing a game of financial chess, my friend. Look for niches where products or services have a high demand, and people are willing to whip out their credit cards faster than a squirrel darts up a tree. Seek niches with lucrative commission structures, where you can earn a decent chunk of change for your efforts.

Remember, finding the perfect niche is like finding your soulmate, but with dollar signs in your eyes. It’s a combination of passion, profitability, and a sprinkle of market analysis. So, put on your explorer hat, unleash your inner niche-hunter, and let the adventure of niche selection begin!

Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we’ll unveil the art of finding the most delectable affiliate programs that will make your heart skip a beat. Keep those detective skills sharp, my friend, for there are treasures to be found!

Finding Affiliate Programs

Affiliate marketing adventurers! Now that you’ve conquered the treacherous terrain of niche selection, it’s time to set sail on the high seas of affiliate programs. It’s like being a pirate in search of the ultimate treasure trove — the one that will shower you with shiny doubloons of affiliate commissions. Arr, let’s embark on this daring quest together!

But hold your horses, or in this case, your peg leg. Before you start joining every affiliate program in sight, let’s take a moment to understand the lay of the land. Affiliate programs come in all shapes and sizes, like a collection of mismatched puzzle pieces waiting to be assembled. You’ve got in-house affiliate programs run by individual companies, as well as affiliate networks that gather multiple programs under one roof. Think of them as bustling marketplaces where you can pick and choose the products or services you want to promote.

So, how do you find these hidden gems of affiliate programs? Well, let me reveal a few secret maps that will guide you through the affiliate marketing maze. First, start by conducting a thorough online search. Look for reputable affiliate networks that have a vast selection of programs catering to your chosen niche. Explore networks like Amazon Associates, ShareASale, or Commission Junction, just to name a few. These treasure troves are home to an array of affiliate programs ready to be plundered (in the most legal and ethical way, of course).

Now, my adventurous mateys, let’s not forget the power of direct research. Put on your investigator hat once more and dig deep into the websites of companies or brands within your chosen niche. Many of them have their own in-house affiliate programs, often hidden in the depths of their websites like a secret pirate’s cove. Look for “Affiliate,” “Partner,” or “Join our Program” links. These golden opportunities allow you to work directly with the company, forging a close-knit partnership that may lead to even greater treasures. But don’t get carried away by shiny objects alone. As you navigate the vast seas of affiliate programs, keep an eye out for ships flying the flag of reputation. Look for programs that have a solid track record, good reviews, and a history of timely payments. After all, you don’t want to end up with a ship that’s more leaky dinghy than a majestic vessel.

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Now, my bold adventurers, equip yourselves with a list of potential affiliate programs, and don your negotiation hat. Some programs offer different commission structures, whether it’s a percentage of sales, a fixed fee per lead, or a hybrid model. Choose the one that best aligns with your financial aspirations and sets sail towards profitability.

But hey, before you set your anchor, there’s one more thing to consider — finding niche-specific affiliate programs. These hidden gems cater to your niche with products or services that your audience craves. So, keep your compass pointed in the direction of niche relevance and let it guide you to programs that will make your promotional efforts sail smoothly.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we’ll explore the art of crafting a dazzling affiliate website that will capture the hearts and wallets of your audience. Prepare to hoist the sails of success, my friends, for the journey continues!

Building an Affiliate Website

It’s time to unleash your inner webmaster and embark on a thrilling voyage of building your very own affiliate website. Picture it: a digital ship sailing through the vast online ocean, attracting visitors like a lighthouse guiding lost souls. So, grab your anchor and let’s dive into the art of building an affiliate website that will make heads turn and wallets open!

First things first, you need a sturdy vessel to carry your affiliate marketing dreams — a domain name and web hosting. Think of your domain name as the ship’s name, a unique identifier that reflects your brand and niche. Keep it concise, memorable, and relevant to what you’ll be promoting. And don’t forget to secure a reliable web hosting provider, the engine that powers your website and keeps it sailing smoothly through cyberspace.

Now that you have your ship ready, it’s time to choose a content management system (CMS) that will be your trusty first mate. Enter WordPress, the captain of CMSs, guiding you through treacherous website-building waters with ease. WordPress offers a user-friendly interface, a treasure trove of plugins, and a vast community of developers ready to lend a helping hand. It’s like having a shipyard at your disposal, allowing you to customize your website to your heart’s content.

But hold your sea legs steady, my friend. A visually appealing website is like a siren’s song, luring visitors in with its charm. Design it with the user experience in mind, making it easy for your audience to navigate and find the treasure trove of affiliate links you have in store. Opt for a clean and professional design, using captivating visuals and engaging content to keep visitors captivated. Remember, you want them to stick around and explore, not abandon ship at the sight of a cluttered, confusing mess.

Ah, content, the wind in the sails of your affiliate website. Craft high-quality, informative, and entertaining content that resonates with your audience like a sea shanty that stays stuck in their heads. Write compelling product reviews, informative articles, and engaging guides that showcase your expertise and convince visitors to trust your recommendations. Be the beacon of knowledge and authenticity that guides them towards making those lucrative affiliate clicks.

But wait, there’s more! To truly conquer the digital seas, you must optimize your website for search engine visibility. Ah, the mystical art of search engine optimization (SEO). Research keywords relevant to your niche and sprinkle them throughout your content, titles, and meta descriptions. Optimize your website’s speed, responsiveness, and mobile-friendliness, ensuring smooth sailing across all devices. And don’t forget the power of backlinks — forge alliances with other websites in your niche, creating a network of interconnected ships that navigate the seas of the internet together.

Now, my courageous captain, set your course for success. But remember, building an affiliate website is an ongoing voyage, not a one-time expedition. Keep your content fresh, update your offers, and adapt to the ever-changing tides of the online world. Stay committed, experiment with different strategies, and never stop refining your vessel.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we’ll uncover the secrets of driving traffic to your affiliate website and setting sail towards the land of conversions. Prepare to navigate through storms of clicks and sales, my friends, for the adventure continues!

Driving Traffic and Generating Sales

Now that your website sails proudly in the vast online ocean, it’s time to navigate the treacherous currents of driving traffic and reaping the bountiful rewards of affiliate sales. Buckle up, my courageous captain, for we’re about to embark on a thrilling journey of attracting visitors and converting them into loyal customers.

Ah, the art of Search Engine Optimization (SEO). It’s like the secret map that leads lost souls to your digital treasure trove. Conduct keyword research and sprinkle those golden keywords throughout your content like breadcrumbs that lead search engines straight to your website. Craft captivating meta descriptions that entice searchers to click on your links. And remember, my friend, the power of backlinks. Forge alliances with other websites in your niche, building a network of interconnected ships that navigate the vast seas of the internet together.

But wait, there’s more! Social media platforms are like bustling ports where potential customers gather. Cast your anchor in these digital havens and engage with your audience like a charismatic captain. Share valuable content, interact with followers, and build a community that buzzes with excitement. Use eye-catching visuals, witty captions, and the occasional meme to captivate their attention and lure them to your website. Be the friendly pirate who offers valuable insights and recommendations, building trust and forging lasting relationships.

Ah, email marketing — the trusty parrot perched on your shoulder, spreading the word of your affiliate treasures. Build a loyal crew of subscribers who eagerly await your messages. Offer irresistible incentives like exclusive content, discounts, or freebies in exchange for their precious email addresses. Then, set sail with captivating newsletters, personalized recommendations, and promotions that make their hearts skip a beat. But remember, my friend, to tread the fine line between informative and spammy. Nobody wants a pirate who bombards them with endless sales pitches.

Ah, the allure of paid advertising. It’s like hoisting your flag high and making your presence known across the digital seas. Invest in strategic pay-per-click (PPC) campaigns to reach a wider audience, targeting those who are most likely to engage and convert. Craft enticing ad copy that speaks directly to their desires and pain points. But be wise with your budget, my friend, for the seas of paid advertising can be treacherous. Monitor your campaigns, adjust your settings, and optimize for maximum returns on your investment.

And last but not least, the power of content marketing. It’s like the wind that fills your sails and propels you towards success. Create valuable, informative, and engaging content that positions you as an authority in your niche. Craft blog posts, videos, podcasts, or infographics that cater to your audience’s needs and desires. Share your content far and wide, like a message in a bottle cast into the vast digital ocean. And remember, my friend, consistency is key. Set a steady course of regular content creation and distribution, building a loyal following that eagerly awaits your next masterpiece.

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Now, my intrepid captain, armed with the knowledge of driving traffic and generating sales, set sail with confidence. Experiment with different strategies, adapt to the ever-changing currents of the online world, and never cease to refine your approach. May the winds of traffic be at your back, and the seas of conversions be forever in your favor.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we’ll wrap up this epic voyage with a recap of the key steps and a hearty farewell. The journey may be nearing its end, but your affiliate marketing adventure has only just begun!

Conclusion

We’ve reached the end of our epic voyage, where we’ll drop anchor and reflect upon the exhilarating journey of starting an affiliate marketing business. From choosing a niche to setting sail with your affiliate website, and from driving traffic to generating sales, you’ve learned the ropes and charted your own course towards success.

But before we bid adieu, let’s take a moment to recap the key steps that will forever guide you on your affiliate marketing adventure:

Choosing a Niche: Seek the sweet spot where your passions and profitability intersect. Find a niche that excites you and has the potential to captivate an audience eager for the products or services you’ll be promoting.

Finding Affiliate Programs: Explore the vast seas of affiliate networks and discover in-house programs hidden within the depths of individual company websites. Choose reputable programs that align with your niche, reputation, and financial aspirations.

Building an Affiliate Website: Set sail with a sturdy ship powered by WordPress, the captain of content management systems. Design a visually appealing website that offers a seamless user experience, captivating content, and optimized for search engine visibility.

Driving Traffic and Generating Sales: Master the art of SEO, leverage the power of social media, harness the potential of email marketing, navigate the seas of paid advertising, and craft valuable content that positions you as an authority in your niche.

And now, my brave captain, armed with these valuable insights, it’s time to set your compass for the vast ocean of affiliate marketing success. Keep these guiding principles in mind as you navigate the ever-changing tides of the online world:

Be Patient: Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a flourishing affiliate marketing business. It takes time, effort, and perseverance to grow your audience, build trust, and see the fruits of your labor.

Be Authentic: Your audience can smell inauthenticity from a nautical mile away. Stay true to your voice, values, and expertise. Offer genuine recommendations and provide value that resonates with your audience.

Embrace Adaptability: The digital seas are ever-changing, my friend. Stay agile, embrace new technologies and strategies, and be willing to adapt your approach as the winds of the online world shift.

Foster Relationships: Forge connections with fellow affiliate marketers, industry influencers, and your audience. Collaborate, engage, and build a community around your brand. Remember, a rising tide lifts all ships.

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As we lower the anchor and conclude this exhilarating adventure, remember that your journey as an affiliate marketer has just begun. Continue to learn, grow, and refine your skills. Seek new opportunities, test different strategies, and adapt to the ever-evolving landscape of the digital realm.

Fair winds and following seas, my fellow affiliate marketing adventurers! May your sails always be filled with success, your treasure trove of commissions overflow, and your journey be filled with excitement and fulfillment. Bon voyage!

Affiliate Disclaimer :

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rametarin · 2 years ago

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That Fujoshi has read too many bad romance novels. I'm not meaning to imply anything by this question but why not just tell your mom that you got a paycut and then squirrel away $50 or $100 a week under your mattress or in a new bank account? I imagine that you've thought of this already since you're pretty smart but I honestly can't think of why this idea wouldn't work. By the way, thanks for the response to my Alice in Wonderland math ask.

Because, had I a job, she'd be up my ass screaming about looking at my tax returns and insisting to "help" with my taxes. Under the usual threat of homelessness and police if she doesn't get her way.

I can't afford to leave with no buffer of cash to help me recover from the inevitable crash, and a few too many health issues to really risk it. so I don't.

It is impossible to keep any money from her because just as a course of living here she demands absolute involvement in anything I do that involves income, and then demands "her share."

Hell. I save holiday cards from a grandmother. I squirrel away that cash. But she knows that. And she considers that to be her money that I'm allowed to hold. I know this, because I purchased two books off the internet. She absolutely freaked out about this and then, lo and behold, she came at me the next week putting on a performance of how she was "overdrawn and needed money."

.. "How much?" I asked.

"Oh, how much do you have?" was her ominous reply.

I knew what this was when she said that, immediately.

I offered her $200 dollars.

Her response immediately was, "What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What?"

So I said it louder. "Two. Hundred. Dollars."

Again she feigned not being able to hear me and asked me to repeat- it was obvious by this point this wasn't an issue of "old bitch can't hear you" it was a dressed up "raise your offer."

So I screamed, "TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS."

She just sort of stood there aghast, started crying and screamed, "GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND MOVE OUT!!" Which is absolutely something you do after someone offers you $200 to help with a little "oopsie doopsie" bill she may've "overlooked."

Later on she came at me again and demanded I hand over all my savings, or consequences. She was absolutely pissed off that I'd DARE spend any of my emergency funds on anything but her, and wanted to collect that money and choice from me so I couldn't spend it on anything else again. She didn't want "a little money", she wanted over a thousand dollars I'd saved over 10 years.

Then later when I had a dental issue and needed the tooth filled, I asked her for that money back. She stonewalled. Told me instead to get a job (where she could then extract all my cash on penalty of leaving me homeless unless I cimplied) and pay for it myself, after taking what little savings I had.

Short of walk out immediately with nothing and nowhere to go but massive amounts of debt just to exist, and a ditch, I don't really have anything I can do. I really do not want a homeless shelter to be my one and only option. I put up with this bullshit solely because of the singular opportunity to try and study and learn my way out of poverty. The only problem is since she retired she has become an absolute attention demon that wants interaction with me as often as she can get it, and has a tyrant's view of engagement- someone that thinks you're engaged in a conversation with them from the minute they speak to you to the next minute they want your attention again, does not respect if you're doing something else.

I want you to imagine how painful it is to try and do math around someone that has the power to coerce you to get up and do some menial task, not because the task needs doing, but because they want to see you get up and make it your priority and do it.

And why? What is the point of interrupting someone whom is busy with something else? Repeatedly? Spacing out every intrusion and intervention to effectively play keep away with the person and what they're doing?

Oh. Because it's an authoritative way to distract and intervene. Because suddenly you manipulate the value of their time and absorb priority from them, so no matter how precious their time is, you're gobbling up that precious attention and seizing priority from them. It took me a while to really hash out why she is so obsessive about choosing the most inopportune times to want my attention and labor, but after testing it, she only really wanted that attention and action as distractions sandwiched between anything else I was trying to do- she didn't want this intense amount of attention between periods of unscheduled activity or inaction. It was only when I was trying to save time for myself that she decided, "no you ain't" and reserving and overruling that reserved time and space for herself.

So all my studies and practice are done with her thinking I'm just some bedroom NEET she "allows" to waste time playing videogames. If she thought I was actually learning anything I could use as an occupation, she'd be as antagonistic and time stealing as she was when I was trying to learn medical transcription.

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harperhug · 4 months ago

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Closer to this actually:

You notice that your personal device was fine, because Crowdstrike only sells to businesses AND this update was only for Microsoft. It’s why trains were still running, and why I didn’t find out until I tried to buy ice cream. If you use linux or you aren’t a business, you weren’t directly affected. But if you notice, just that one bar falling down causes the entire top to collapse. The Crowdstrike boot loop affected just 1% of machines and made life fucking awful for so many people. I couldn’t get ice cream because I had only credit cards and $2 in cash on me at the time (I actually did have a $100 bill as well but they didn’t have enough change). The register couldn’t communicate with my credit card company and there was no lactose-free ice cream available that cost less than two dollars. The ATM was bluescreened and my bank’s computers too, so I had no way of getting more cash. So I put it back and went home, because I can live without ice cream. But what about people trying to buy groceries or pick up their medication? What about people in hospitals? They had to go home hungry and sick, if they weren’t also stranded hundreds of miles from home because flights were grounded. I have friends who are still stuck in Georgia! The conveniences of modern life rely on hundreds of single points of failure, and the worst part is Crowdstrike isn’t even going to see any penalties because it would cost more to replace them with a different cybersecurity firm. Things we need to survive require every single person employed at what are effective monopolies to do everything correctly. Remember the faux nuclear missile strike warning in Hawaii? People do not behave rationally 100% of the time. It’s why we’re human. This was a software issue, yes, but it wouldn’t have been so bad if individual companies were not in charge of the backbone of modern society, and the reason people are pissed is because it’s going to keep happening because it would cost too much to improve.

Sorry to rant on your post OP.

A global outage of IT systems worldwide because of one faulty software update?? Totally unpredictable.

#political

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sa7abnews · 3 months ago

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CD and Savings Rates Today: Explore Today's Best Rates

New Post has been published on https://sa7ab.info/2024/08/11/cd-and-savings-rates-today-explore-todays-best-rates-2/

CD and Savings Rates Today: Explore Today's Best Rates

The offers and details on this page may have updated or changed since the time of publication. See our article on Business Insider for current information.Affiliate links for the products on this page are from partners that compensate us and terms apply to offers listed (see our advertiser disclosure with our list of partners for more details). However, our opinions are our own. See how we rate banking products to write unbiased product reviews.Banks are fighting for customer dollars right now, and people with cash to spare are well-positioned to benefit from a high rate environment. With rates rapidly changing, how can you feel confident that you're getting the best savings account or best CD?We monitor rates from banks and credit unions daily to help you feel confident before you open a new account. Experts don't expect CD rates to go up in 2024, so now could be a great time to lock in a rate if you're ready. Here are the top rates for popular savings accounts and CDs on Saturday, August 10.Featured Nationally Available Deposit RatesAccount NameAPY (Annual Percentage Yield) Accurate as of 8/9/2024Minimum Account Opening BalanceWestern Alliance Bank High-Yield Savings Premier5.31%$500BrioDirect High-Yield Savings Account5.30%$5,000Customers Banks Yield Shield Savings Account5.14%$25,000UFB Portfolio Savings5.15%$0Betterment Cash Reserve Account5.00% (5.50% APY for new customers' first three months)$10SoFi Checking and Savings (Member FDIC)up to 4.60%$0Featured Nationally Available CD RatesAccount NameAPY (Annual Percentage Yield) Accurate as of 8/9/2024Minimum Account Opening BalanceUSALLIANCE FINANCIAL 1 Year Online CD5.20%$500Sterling Federal Bank 3 Month CD5.10%$1Freedom Bank 6 Month CD, powered by Raisin5.00%$1Freedom Bank 1 Year No Penalty CD4.60%$1Discover 18 Month CD4.40%$2,500Bread Savings 2 Year High-Yield CD4.60%$1,500Quontic 5 Year CD4.30%$500Savings Account BonusAlliant High-Rate Savings AccountEarn a $100 bonus when you deposit at least $100 a month for 12 consecutive months and have a balance of $1,200 or more at the end of the 12-calendar-month period (offer expires December 31, 2024).See more savings account bonuses »Leading Checking & Savings Combo Account BonusSoFi Checking and Savings (Member FDIC)Earn up to $300 with qualifying direct deposit for eligible customers (offer expires 12/31/24, terms apply). Earn up to 4.60% APY on savings balances (including Vaults) with direct deposit.See more bank account bonuses »About High-Yield AccountsHigh-yield savings accounts aren't the only accounts paying favorable rates right now. You'll typically see the highest rates at online or lower-profile institutions rather than national brands with a significant brick-and-mortar presence. This is normal; online banks have lower overhead costs and are willing to pay high rates to attract new customers.High-Yield Savings AccountsThe best high-yield savings accounts provide the security of a savings account with the added bonus of a high APY. Savings accounts are held at a bank or credit union — not invested through a brokerage account — and are best for saving cash in pursuit of shorter-term goals, like a vacation or big purchase. High-Yield Checking AccountsThe best high-yield checking accounts tend to pay slightly lower rates than high-yield savings, but even they are strong in today's rate environment. A checking account is like a hub for your money: If your paycheck is direct deposited, it's typically to a checking account. If you transfer money to pay a bill, you typically do it from a checking account. Checking accounts are used for everyday spending and usually come with checks and/or debit cards to make that easy.Money Market AccountsThe best money market accounts could be considered a middle ground between checking and savings: They are used for saving money but typically provide easy access to your account through checks or a debit card. They usually offer a tiered interest rate depending on your balance.Cash Management AccountsA cash management account is also like a savings/checking hybrid. You'll generally see them offered by online banks, and, unlike a checking account, they usually offer unlimited transfers. A savings account often limits the number of monthly transfers, while a checking account doesn't. Cash management accounts typically come with a debit card for easy access, but you may have to pay a fee if you want to deposit cash.Certificates of DepositThe best CD rates may outpace any of the other accounts we've described above. That's because a certificate of deposit requires you to "lock in" your money for a predetermined amount of time ranging from three months to five years. To retrieve it before then, you'll pay a penalty (unless you opt for one of the best no-penalty CDs). The longer you'll let the bank hold your money, the higher rate you'll get. CD rates aren't variable; the rate you get upon depositing your money is the rate you'll get for the length of your term.About CD TermsLocking your money into an account in exchange for a higher interest rate can be a big decision. Here's what you need to know about common CD terms.No-Penalty CDsMost CDs charge you a fee if you need to withdraw money from your account before the term ends. But with a no-penalty CD, you won't have to pay an early withdrawal penalty. The best no-penalty CDs will offer rates slightly higher than the best high-yield savings accounts, and can offer a substantially improved interest rate over traditional brick-and-mortar savings accounts.6-Month CDsThe best 6-month CDs are offering interest rates in the mid-5% range. Six-month CDs are best for those who are looking for elevated rates on their savings for short-term gains, but are uncomfortable having limited access to their cash in the long term. These can be a good option for those who may just be getting started with saving, or who don't have a large emergency fund for unexpected expenses.1-Year CDsThe best 1-year CDs tend to offer some of the top CD rates, and are a popular option for many investors. A 1-year term can be an attractive option for someone building a CD ladder, or for someone who has a reasonable cash safety net but is still concerned about long-term expenses. 2-Year CDsThe best 2-year CD rates will be slightly lower than 1-year and no-penalty CD rates. In exchange for a longer lock-in period, investors receive a long-term commitment for a specific rate. These are best used as part of a CD ladder strategy, or for those worried about a declining rate market in the foreseeable future.3-Year CDsThe best 3-year CDs tend to have rates that are comparable to 2-year CDs. These are usually less popular for your average investor, but can be an important lever when diversifying investments and hedging against the risk of unfavorable rate markets in the long term.5-Year CDsThe best 5-year CDs will offer lower rates than the other terms on our list, but are still popular options for investors. These CDs are best for those looking to lock in high rates for the long term. CDs are generally viewed as safe investment vehicles, and securing a favorable rate can yield considerable earnings in year three and beyond — even if rates fall elsewhere.

#Personal Finance

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theabstruseone · 2 years ago

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To start with, I'll talk about how banks are supposed to work. The numbers part is incredibly simplified because it's easier to talk about round numbers and thousands of dollars than 1.038% interest on $15.8 million dollars.

I run a bank. You put $1000 in my bank. I now have $1000 in my vault. Repeat this by 199 other people and I have $200,000 in my vault.

I then take $100,000 of that money in my vault and loan it out, giving $10,000 each to 10 people. I charge them interest on the loan and that's how the bank makes money to pay its employees and other bills.

You suddenly need your $1000 back because you have a burning need to buy a bunch of Magic: The Gathering cards. No problem, I still have $99,000 in my vault.

Turns out, something weird is happening with the value of Magic cards and 49 other people come up and all want their $1000 back too. Now I, as the bank, have to worry a little bit because I only have $50,000 in my vault but there are 150 people who gave me a total of $150,000.

A rumor slips out that I'm running out of money, so 100 more people all come in at once wanting their $1000. Now there's a MAJOR problem because I don't have $100,000 to give them, I only have $50,000.

This is what caused the big financial crash in 1929 that kick-started the Great Depression. Only it was the stock market instead of Magic cards. If you remember that scene in It's a Wonderful Life where George is like "I don't have your money! It's in his house and her business and his car!", it's the exact same thing - people all wanted to withdraw their money at once from the bank (called a "run") and the bank didn't have the liquid assets to cover it all.

In order to prevent this from happening again in the United States, we created the FDIC or the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. It's one of the few federal government agencies meant to protect individual people and not the ultra-rich or corporations because it insures bank deposits up to $250,000. Meaning if you have $250,000 in the bank and the bank collapses because of a situation like this, the FDIC makes sure you still have your $250,000. But if you have $250,001, that last dollar is NOT insured. You only get $250,000 back.

The reason I say it's focused on individuals is $250,000 is a life savings to a single middle-class family but is a rounding error for a billionaire or a corporation. If you're a middle-class income family or lower, $250,000 makes sure you're not going to face any immediate financial consequences if a bank collapses. You're not going to find yourself unable to pay your rent or mortgage or bills or buy groceries unless that was already a problem for you anyway.

It WILL be a problem for massive corporations and billionaires for whom $250,000 is a rounding error on their financial statements.

Anyway, take most of what I just said and throw it out the window because the Glass-Steagall Act (the law that established the FDIC) also set rules on what banks can and can't do. For example, a bank CAN do what I described above like selling loans but they CANNOT take that money and say invest in the stock market. Well that part of Glass-Steagall went away. So banks that hold money for everyday people could now take their money and gamble it on the stock market and high-risk investments.

If you remember the financial crisis of 2008, it happened PRECISELY because banks invested customer money in junk bonds and, when those bonds collapsed, it took away all the customers' money with it and they had to get bailed out.

A slightly different thing happened to SVB though and that involves interest rates. Interest rates are set by the Federal Reserve aka The Fed. This includes stuff like loan amounts, government securities, and bonds. When interest rates are low, that means you can get cheaper loans but also that your long-term investments won't pay off so well. Especially if those investments are "Fixed Rate" meaning they don't change from the rate they're at when you get them.

So SVB took a bunch of their money and invested in long-term bonds and securities at fixed rates. This means they'd slowly get the money back plus interest over time, but it would take a decade or three to get it all back. But they accounted for that when doing their budgets so they'd be fine so long as The Fed didn't raise interest rates.

So The Fed raised interest rates...

This meant that the bank just pissed away a whole lot of money over many, many years.

Again, this isn't a problem so long as you have $250,000 or less in the bank because that's insured by the FDIC.

Except a lot of the accounts at SVB had a lot more than that. Because of some shady shit SVB was doing. Technically legal, but shady. Which frankly sums up the majority of our financial system but I digress...

So start, SVB worked with a bunch of venture capital firms that invest money in tech start-ups. Say you have a new app and want to sell it but need money to hire staff and tidy up the code and all the other stuff you need to sell an app to a large customer base. So you go to a venture capital firm. They say they'll give you the $10 million you need to start, but you HAVE TO put that money in SVB.

They did that with a LOT of tech start-ups. And it remained a condition of the investments that the money stayed in SVB so even companies that got big later on still had their main accounts with millions of dollars they used to do payroll and pay their leases and whatnot at SVB.

The next shady thing that (and in big legal disclaimer letters ALLEGEDLY) happened is coincidentally right before the collapse happened, several executives at the company all sold their shares of SVB. Those shares are now worthless because the bank collapsed so it's almost like they knew it was about to happen and cashed out before anyone knew what was coming. This is called "insider trading" and IS illegal - because you don't just "sell stock" like selling back to the bank at Monopoly, you sell it to OTHER PEOPLE. Meaning that the people who bought the stock of SVB these people (ALLEGEDLY) sold knowing that the bank was about to collapse is now worthless and they've lost all their money.

The next shady thing that happened was - and while this may or may not be legal I'm still sticking the big ALLEGEDLY disclaimer here - a lot of the big account holders at SVB found out what was about to happen and told each other so they all INTENTIONALLY made a run on the bank. Because deposits are only insured up to $250,000 and these people all had significantly more than that, they wanted to make sure they got their money out first before news broke and everyone found out. And when news broke, there WAS a full-on run on the bank and that's what caused the collapse.

So basically what happened was the people behind Silicon Valley Bank did a very stupid thing, then after realizing they did a very stupid thing decided to do a bunch of shady (though possibly not illegal but maybe allegedly illegal) stuff to make sure they made it out okay and then let the place catch fire and let the insurance company sort out the rest of it because they got theirs so who cares?

And it's possible (though not likely a direct factor) that the crypto collapse had something to do with this as a lot of the crypto companies that have been falling apart recently had their real-world grown-up money in SVB (as opposed to their digital Internet FunBux of cryptocurrencies and NFTs). When the crypto companies collapsed, all their real-world money went with them so SVB didn't have as much deposited as they did. Again, probably not a direct cause but it definitely didn't help matters to have a whole bunch of money they thought they had vanish in a puff of weed joke NFTs.

Someone who's good at the economy but not in a "we gotta kill homeless people to make the line go up" way, what's the deal with the silicon valley bank going bankrupt

#svb #silicon valley bank #fdic #bank run #bank collapse #economics #Again I want to repeat this is a very basic and oversimplified explanation of what happened in very general terms #It's meant to help understand the underlying economic systems going on and not report exact details #allegedly

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