#10/10 total crack
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In relation to that poll i would like to inform you all that for two days i have been living amidst a scene of psychological warfare in which i had given troja a deer chew that sparta had, while i was distracted, walked over and taken from troj and placed in the middle of the living room floor (but at such an angle from the coffee table i havent seen it). and then gone back to her spot next to mine on the sofa. troja has then, unwilling to get on sparta's bad side, not been able to cross the living room. she has come in, stood at the invisible barrier, ive called her over, sparty has set her laser eyes on her, she has walled back out.
two days. a 5cm piece of dried meat. this lasted two days.
#sparty did not eat the chew. did not hide the chew.#probably wouldnt have done anything to troj if she hd taken back the chew except stared at her until she cracked#this is a monster.#you get a tiny dog and think you have to protect her from the bigger dogs but youre totally unprepared#for the years of effort to protect the other dogs from HER.#sparty is the only dog left now that even melis WILL NOT try anything with.#sparta is 10 years old and tiny. each of them could take her. no one would even dream of testing her.
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If you star out Tommy’s name on my dash that’s just an automatic strike like can you be serious for one fucking second?
#someone reblogged a… sigh… BoB on my dash (I hate that’s what I have to call them)#and it was something like ‘oh Buck stopped by Eddie’s for a grand total of 10 minutes clearly this means he stood T**** up!#and it’s like… girl he took a detour on his way to his dick appt. stay mad. cope. seethe.#if you don’t remember he had to drop off the brownies!#I don’t understand the people that decided this needs to be a huge fucking deal that Buck is dating someone who isn’t Eddie#and look for every crack in their relationship#it’s been 5 episodes let it BREATHE
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love that fandom seems to have pretty much immediately pegged michael and rayner’s sexual dynamic as “he wants her to stroke his hair and call him a good boy”. fandom gets many things wrong but once in awhile it gets something right. great job team
#naturally one of the rare times fandom is right there are also a total of 10 fics for them. the curse#cracking my knuckles and opening a document with a sigh#star trek: discovery#being fandom#jules.txt
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hermione is everything and ron’s just ken
#hermione is so barbie coded when u think on it she’s literally the wizard president#this was one of my otps when i was like 10 and ive cracked the code now that al my very old otps followed this trope#where the girl would be super duper talented and important and her bf is just her number 1 supporter#dont want to contribute to the ‘ron contributes nothing’ trope#its funny to me how ron went through this whole arc where he was insecure about being useless to the trio and then when hes an adult hes-#-totally fine with being hermione trophy husband. in fact he wears that honour with pride LOLL I LOVE THEM#like thats him being secure that he doesnt have to keep proving himself to anybody i love thag for him#romione will continue to remain the best ship in hp objectively#hermione granger#ron weasley#romione#harry potter#hp#golden trio era#lightning era#rewriting
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now that i think about it, the funniest thing hw could do rn with the chizuutan manga is to name this guy ‘aizo’ (albeit with different kanji characters) and cast him as her love interest. kinda like a “congrats chizuchan you managed to marry an aizo… just not the one you initially fell for” sorta thing
#rereading the manga again and. like. l m a o#the side characters are so funny and for w h a t#people need to read this i swear it has everything you ever need in a crack series#toxic yuri? check. delulu protag? check. unnecessary corporate enemies to collaborators plotline? check.#potential male lead who appears for like 10 panels in total in the entire first volume a n d doesn’t even get a name? you bet!!!!!!#anyway i sincerely hope his name is aizo/yujiro/aiyuu/yuuai or something like that just bc it’d be incredibly funny#ok that’s it that’s all im sayin for now see y’all when the ebook drops for yunaposting byeeeee
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Ohhhhhh my goddddddddd so I’ve basically been to the doctor three times since turning 18 and aging out of the pediatrician because of my horrible doctor fears and issues. So it’s a MOMENTOUS occasion and the culmination of years of glacial self-work that I felt ready FINALLY READY to sit down and make a doctors appointment for a routine visit!! Like that is give or take a decade in the making…….and all the ethereal alchemical elements were correct so I could finally do it this morning. But the clinic is closed and you can only do it weekdays ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ ok guess I am going to the doctor in 10 years probably. See you 2034
#the year when the water riots destroy Los Angeles finally#i want to go bc I need an inhaler and a blood panel ;-;#that’ll be $200 total probably!!!!!! agghdgdgdh#ok lucky for me my tax statement from 2023 was lowwwww bc I did most of my work under the table…#me who is low income when services for low income exist: but that’s 4 ppl who really need it!!!!! meanwhile I only eat dried beans#but basically I’ll probably make a bit more this year so I might try to get all the 10 years of accumulated cavities taken care of now#while it only costs 6 months’ paycheck and not 6 years!#I’ve got a really insane visible hole in my canine it’s soooo bad#:-/#the thing is that my mental health is so good rn I’m like wtf was I doinggggggg and I get so mad at myself. how quickly we forget the#horrors…#and also my hope is that since it’s a low income clinic they’ll be really kind to me when they tell me I have 18 cavities :-(#also me who has slipped through the cracks of the healthcare system due to mental health and gets flagged by social services meant to catch#people slipping through the cracks: but you guys should focus on the ppl who REALLY need it!!!!! I’m literally fine *dies of completely#preventable ailment that would’ve been flagged by routine bloodwork*
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soldier is your shift key stuck down cause i could call engie over
MY SHIFT KEY?
...
MY SHIFT KEY IS IN PERFECT WORKING ORDER!
#forgive him he's old#and a little stupid#his shift key is totally broken lol#his whole keybaord is a mess#every device he has is a mess lol#mordern au and he's got a busted ass phone#that likes 10 years old#and you can't see the screen its so cracked#solly answers#solly speaks#anonymous#anon ask#tf2 askblog
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❝The Netherbrain is defeated! I'm.... free... free from that blasted tadpole and the Urge that consumed me for so long...❞
Balasar sighs and gives a chuckle shaking his head.
❝Guess I have to figure out what to do with that empty space now.❞
#growling through cursed teeth (ic);#letting the beast roam free (crack);#the world I left behind (game commentary);#[ 10/10 game ]#[ Absolutely loved it and I believe I'm about to start the small after party ]#[ Will totally play this game again soon because I really enjoyed it ]
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anytime i see a post calling art donaldson a mediocre tennis player, i cry in "but he has two french open titles in the era of rafael nadal"
#tashi could not have picked any old chump on the ITF circuit and coached them into going toe-to-toe with rafa on clay at RG#nadal had only lost to 2 players total at RG before this year#art has to have generational levels of talent to pull off two RG and two wimbledon wins going up against the Big 3#if andy murray is considered in the top 10 male players of all time by winning 3 slams in their era#then that would probably make art top 5 for winning 6#and if justin & luca didn't want it to come off that way then they shouldn't have included Big 4 references in their movie#a shout into the void#challengers#also it still cracks me up that the us open is his white whale#that's the one-hit wonder slam#tashi should actually be happy he hadn't won it earlier in his career; he would have been cursed
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Agsgdgdggd the guy I helped make a bale came up to me and was like "hey so I noticed you werent here yesterday... you okay?"
And immediately I went "yeah, making that bale really killed me. Had to take off."
He thought it was absolutely hilarious and I guess he came up to RC later and told her I'm really fast with comebacks like he wasnt expecting that sgdggdgdgd
She was like "yeah she's a snarky little shit. Not at all like yall think she is"
Just bc I'm quiet and polite at work doesn't mean shit man. I'm quiet and polite bc 1.) I have to see you people up to 20 hours a week. 2.)unless you give me a reason to be anything but nice I'll be in my customer service persona and that bitch is polite and QUIET
Also 3.) I'm just fucking quiet unless I'm super comfortable with you, then I don't shut the fuck up
#i also dont deny it if asked if it's true that im a shit at home/snarky like i only hide it at work bc i like my job sgdgdgdgd#my teachers were so shocked when i got comfortable enough to banter with them it was so funny#like this kid and i had this running joke accusing our teacher of having people in his basement (idr why it started) and we would#bring it up at any chance we got shdgdgdgdgd like 'oh i need to schedule to get my furnace fixed' 'why did you finally let those people#out?' 'oh did they finally unionize? good for them' wgdgdgdggd it was so stupid but fun#or like how junior year in math i was really quiet and kept to myself bc it was a full class and i didnt really feel comfortable to#talk to anyone really but then senior year we had like 10 people total and it took maybe a week for me to crack that shell sgdgdgdg#marquilla#work talk#actually the baler excuse wasnt a quick quip i had thought of it immediately after deciding to call out and was sitting on it#and my autistic ass forgot to actually answer why i was out and it looked like either i was being serious or like no thats your answer and#all you're getting im committed to the bit
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Warning: err violent? Thoughts?
I want to rip tear bite i want to chomp into baldurs gate and taste its essence i want to remove my organs and replace them with those of the characters i want to Be in the game i am goung to Yell if i cannot be there i want my brain to calm the fuck down i am worried but i am also holyy fuckckkk the music is so good the characters are so good and i need to help them all and i need to be them all and kill them all and die and live and be and fucking fuck i dont words all i have rn is Violence and Hitting and Flapping and ow.
#tw: violent thoughts#look guys#i just needed to get this out#lmao#bc i will not sleep#i mean this hasnt helped much bc i am Buzzing yall#but yano#a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do#(scream and shout and express violent desires… over a video game)#honestly struggling not to grit my teeth bc i fear they’ll crack#i feel like gale if the netherese orb was an active moving animal in him like#an evil rat king flailing about in his chest cavity encircled by flame and scrabbling to escape#yanno#taht totally makes sense#someone help im actually a bit concerned#suffice it to say#i will not rest in peace tonight /ref#the soundtrack fucks#how unhealthy is this scale of 1-10#i am in tears#i feel like an anime character having an ofdly animated breakdown#im gonna throw up#i might scream but yk not allowed to do that rn#send help#man i rlly should take my meds ahha#traggy’s shit
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the problem with having tics that are primarily jerking my neck is i frequently run the risk of my neck turning wrong
#it has happened a total of 4 times that i hit my occipital nerve. it hurts!!! so bad!!!! i clutch my head and seethe for 10 minutes straight#and i cant count how many times i cracked all the bones in my neck with one jerk. that hurts!!! so bad!!! also!!!#anyway#aricouldyounot
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trains in europe are cool because they're affordable and eco-friendly and go everywhere and blah blah blah
actually my favorite part about european trains is that I never had to deal with tweakers sexually harassing me or spitting in my general direction
#internalmelon#literally even when i was a “boy” the public transit in this country was harsh for me#one time a man saw i was reading a book and sat down next to me#he tried to be relatable and dug in his backpack for a book but it was all trash and it was getting everywhere#i was in the window seat and couldnt leave#his crack pipe fell on the floor and rolled when the bus stopped at an intersection#i knew it was a crack pipe and not a meth pipe because it wasnt like a lightbulb and it didnt smell like burnt wires#he was like “oops can you grab that for me”#so i did and got off five stops early and walked the rest of the way even though it was like 10 blocks lmao#the last time i rode public transit there was this dude that was totally gone and talking to his reflection in the dark windows#now that i live in a car-dominated city with alright parking you couldnt pay me to take the bus or walk#it's just too dangerous out there after dark
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wonder what will happen first. me finishing the (first) teshes fic and publishing it, or tapas reaching That Chapter.
#just thinking about the fact that ao3 sorts fics by date updated by default#and i dont have any gen fics queued up#imagine youre a new reader. you just read the Most chapter ever which turns the entire story upside down#you go to ao3 for some solace#firstly the fact that theres less fics than you can count on one hand is pretty sad#and then you read the tags for the first fic on the list and go. huh. was this always this kind of story?#new kind of whiplash!!!#i feel a little bad for any potentail new lurkers bc im bringing an unhinged multishipper delusional energy to#a fandom with no fancontent#congrats your fandom gets one unhinged fan who yaps#apologies they talk only about their non-canon rare pair#anyway tapas will take an estimated 7 month to reach there#cracks knuckles we'll see#but also genuinely idk when this will get done bc the outline + 10% written is um. 10k words.#actually maybe i should prioritise a reed pov fic 🤔 i want to punch new readers in the solar plexus actually#like in a leaning into canon kind of way not in a hey i found a new blender to put tesilid in kind of way#also the fact that i have a total of 6 teshes fics that i absolutely intend to finish#vs my 2.5 gen fics that hv alr been published#if no new writer comes into the fandom then eventually two thirds of the fandom tag will be a non canon rairpair send help#ailette doesnt even exist in the teshesverse dear god
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Fuck, I have so many ideas for this man.
Cat Steve who his ears poke up when he hear Eddie Munson talking alone about how pretty his thighs are when he used that silly sailor suit back in scoops ahoy. That day, more later in Hellfire, he got a little more cuddly with Eddie, purring loudly, the kids find it extremely funny but they wonder what happen to that to happen.
Cat Steve, and normal Steve, get incredibly guard up when a bird is near, little clicks of his tongue as he watch them move, but is always interrupted by Robin when that occurs. Steve always gets embarrassed.
When Eddie gives him the catnip as an apology, that night was the ever first night that he ever try that herb im his life, and he was so relax: rolling in his belly, wiggling roughly in it with loud purrs and happy little meows (Ma-ah) (Meur!), getting himself fall in it with tumbs! on it. Let’s say that night nobody got to play cause cat Steve was fucking adorable, and little hyperactive.
Cat Steve that when Eddie ignore him when he wants belly rubs, he haughtily sink his nails slightly on his legs like he was kneading, successfully calling his attention when his meows didn’t work. He got scold every time, but he don’t care, he get what he wanted.
Cat Steve that despise tuna, even at human, is so strange according to hellfire, cause cats likes tuna, right? right?
Cat Steve who actively fought a dog that according to him was being aggressive with his kids (was barking for the jam sandwich Dustin was eating), so he got in a defensive pose, back arch up, tail tense like his legs, hair bristle as hell, and he was a hairy cat, so it was hilarious but scary at the same time. The dog scape whining with its tail between the legs, Steve was fucking proud.
Steve, who is born into a long line of shifters, but unlike the magnificent creatures his parents and grandparents before him became when they turned, he turns into an ordinary house cat.
Steve, who is an embarrassment to the Harrington name amongst the secretive society of shifters and so is essentially abandoned in Hawkins to fend for himself.
Steve, who is deeply ashamed that his shifting animal is a fucking cat until he meets a Demogorgon and then suddenly, being a cat - aka, the perfect bear trap bait - is the best animal he could have asked Magick to become.
Steve, who quickly becomes the Party's self-appointed emotional support person (cough cough, cat) and makes sure that he checks on his kids and is there to provide snuggles when needed.
Steve, who is really nervous about his kids starting high school - especially El and Will - and who sneaks his way into the school when he's not working and hides out in the drama room.
Steve, who is caught off guard when he bumps into Eddie Munson in his cat form, and then keeps bumping into Eddie Munson in his cat form, and pretty soon he can't keep pretending like it's not intentional but he likes listening to the guy when they're both hiding out in the drama room, and it doesn't hurt that he has excellent hands that give excellent tummy rubs -
Steve, who is present at the kids' first Hellfire Club meeting, and who is caught off guard by the disdain in Eddie Munson's voice when he talks about "King Steve."
Steve, who hops onto the game table, makes eye contact with Eddie Munson, and shoves his DM screen onto the floor with a loud crash.
Steve, who spends the rest of that session (and the next) on Jeff's lap, because Jeff's tummy rubs are pretty damn good and Jeff has only ever had nice things to say about Steve Harrington. (Take that, Eddie.)
(Eddie, who pouts the entire time and shows up at their third session with some catnip toys and an apology, even though he really doesn't understand why he has to apologize to this cat about Steve Harrington or why his new sheepies think this whole thing is hilarious.)
#steddie#not sure if this is something or if it's nothing but it's definitely a thing#steddie crack#steve harrington#eddie munson#just wait until eddie tries to make a “pussy” joke#yeah that's totally going to end well for him#stranger things#steve stranger things#imagine steve harrington#<——— original tags.#im obsessed#i have 10 cats ans i can continue with this with things they do daily#i love your brain writer#such fucking genius! i love it.
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Toji invites you over with a simple text of:
You busy tonight, doll?
To which you respond with:
I don't think so... Not that I know of. Why?
He laughs through his nose when he reads your message. Even the way you text him has your timidness imbued into it. It's precious.
Come spend the night at my place. You told me you're off tomorrow, right?
I am, but are you sure? Driving home is not a problem for me. I can hang out and go home after.
You're staying. I wanna try something with you and it requires you to stay the night. You can't go home.
Oh okay! I'll be there in 10.
Drive safe.
Toji likes that you're very precise about the time you'll be arriving somewhere, and if you're ever late when it comes to spending time with him, you apologize profusely, nonstop. You won't stop blubbering about why you're late and how sorry you are for making him wait, even after Toji's expressed that he's more than understanding. He's the king of showing up late to plans, so he can't be a hypocrite and scold you when you don't do it often at all.
You're so sorry, though, and you don't shut up about it until he makes you shut up with a kiss. You're helpless, and you can't for the life of you figure out where to put your hands when you're so focused on the grip he had on your waist to pull you up against him.
He releases your lips, cracking a grin at the look of wonder on your face. He can't deny the pride that swells in his chest at his ability to disarm you and prevent you from having a total meltdown over a three minute delay.
Toji has gotten so much better at handling situations like these with you. It's only fair for him to gain satisfaction out of making you feel better. After all, you are a first for him. You're emotionally fragile, you're a nervous wreck, and your voice competes with the wind just to be heard. Toji doesn't set aside the fact that you're also beautiful, warmhearted, and you try for him. He sees your attempts to be affectionate. You'll slowly reach your hand out to hold his and then bail the second he catches you. He ends up having to interlock his fingers with yours because your embarrassment doesn't allow you to try again. He still appreciates that you leave your comfort zone for him and allow him to guide you towards new experiences.
"Stop with the guilty feelings, ma. We have all night and all day tomorrow. What's a couple minutes to ensure you get to me in one piece?" He says, comforting your droopy self. You look like a sad, abandoned puppy, now sporting rosy cheeks from his surprising gesture.
"Okay," you say, feeling a little more at ease. "What did you have in mind for tonight?"
"Follow me," he says, leading you through his living room to his kitchen. He pulls out a stool for you and points at it. "Sit." You want to laugh at the way he says it like he's teaching commands to a dog, but you know he doesn't mean it that way, so you obediently sit down like one anyway.
"Have you eaten anything?" He asks, silently hoping you have because he doesn't have anything to make you dinner. He would have to order in or pick something up.
"I ate a couple hours ago. Still pretty full," you respond, watching him reach up for something in his cabinets. There's now a tall glass bottle with a red label and matching cap sitting on the counter.
"How 'bout it?" He says, a large hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle. "We could go to the couch and watch a movie or something."
He's never seen you under the influence of anything, but based on your reaction, maybe he'll get a show tonight. He's always wanted to know what you would be like if you were more extroverted and outspoken. There's nothing wrong with the way you are, but if things keep going the way they're going between you and Toji, he's bound to meet your chatty alter ego at some point in the future. What better way to have this experience than in a secure place with someone who can handle their alcohol and take care of you if it turns out that you can't.
"Okay, sure." You giggle, excitedly.
You're a lightweight. Even the fruitiest, sweetest alcoholic beverage will quickly take a toll on you while you're sipping on it. Wine is a step up, so you'll have to try your best to keep it together for the sake of not looking sloppy in front of Toji.
Toji brings down two glasses, and pours out the deep red liquid into them. One for you, one for him. He hands the glass to you, and nods at your quiet "thank you".
Toji watches as you immediately take a sip. He sees the way your nose scrunches at what you consider to be a funny taste, but the second you put the glass down, you smile like nothing. You don't like it at all. You hate the bitterness, and the fact that it's made with fermented grapes lives in the back of your head.
"How is it?" He asks, holding back a chuckle. You're too sweet for your own good, pretending to enjoy this for him.
"I like it," you say, pressing your lips together.
"Yeah? I think it's kinda gross. Guess I was expecting more from a fancy ass bottle, but brands are gonna brand, huh?"
You giggle, almost involuntarily. You're one gulp in, and already you're starting to feel the effects.
One of your worst habits includes chugging drinks that don't taste good, just so you can get them over with. You even do this when your drink is messed up at coffee shop. You're too nice to ask the barista to remake it, so you suck it up and drink the incorrect beverage solely for the caffeine you hope it has in it. This time is no different. You hate the taste of alcohol. You don't do plain shots, you can't stand hard ciders, and wine is no exception, but you're doing this for Toji. He cracked open the bottle to share with you, so you're going to drink every ounce of the liquid in the glass, whether you like the taste or not.
You bring the glass to your lips again, taking a much larger sip. The glass is a little less than halfway now, and your eyelids are starting to feel a little heavy. Not in a sleepy manner, but you can't seem to hold your eyes open as wide anymore.
You exhale through your nose, shut your eyes, and then blink them back open to take note of your altered state.
"That was a lot. How are you feeling?" Toji asks, noticing a shift in your demeanor. You seem a little more sluggish now. You turn your attention to him, your eyes rolling when they turn to meet his.
"I'm good, how are you?" You ask, like it was the start of a conversation rather than an ongoing one. Your eyes almost shut completely when you smile at him.
"You're tipsy already, aren't you?" He asks, with a grin on his face.
"Pshh, what? No, i'm not," you say, contradicting yourself with a giggle. "Answer the question, baby. How are you?"
"Fine," he responds, lingering on the pet name. You've got loose lips, now. In any other circumstance, you would address him by his name. Most of the time Toji is the one giving you pet names, for the sake of flustering you. He loves the way you look at him when he calls you doll or sweetheart, somewhat shocked every time the words leave his mouth.
"Yeah? That's good." You pick up the glass one more time, sighing before you mutter, "'scuse me. Gotta finish this."
With that last sip, the glass was now empty. Even Toji thinks you drank that too fast, but he still has the courtesy to ask you if you want more.
"Mhm, I'll have a little bit more. Just a tiny bit." Toji pours as much as he did the first time, chuckling when you nod in approval of the quantity. "That's perfect. Absolutely, perfect. You're a genius, my love." You flash him a smile before starting on the next glass.
Toji was considering having another glass, but that was before you called him "my love" in a tone so warm that he felt like he just had a bowl of hot soup that was now settling in his stomach. That was before you smiled at him in such a free spirited manner. It was too late for him to see you in this state while completely sober, but he sure as hell wouldn't be adding anymore alcohol to his system. He can't miss something like this, so instead he leans forward on the counter, and intently watches your every move.
"I got something on my face?" You ask, dragging your sleeves all over your face. You examine your sleeves and they're clean. "You liar. You're looking at me like that for nothing." You squint at him, a slight scrunch in your nose to define your defensiveness.
Toji laughs, his focus now on the small pinch in your brows. "Don't go picking fights over nothing. It's not a crime to look at my pretty baby."
Your faux tough exterior immediately crumbles, the irked expression on your face dropping to the ground, at the sugary words he uses on you. Your face feels very warm, and now there's an indefinite blush on it. You can't stop smiling at the look on Toji's face. He's so focused that he's gone speechless, and you eventually break into a laughing fit because of it.
"Hey... i'm usually the quiet one. Why aren't you talking, pretty boy? Need me to shut up?"
The pet name has Toji glancing at your glass, noticing that it was full for less than five minutes. This was new— you being flirtatious towards him. He didn't have any complaints about it whatsoever.
Once again, the quantity of the wine in your glass was below the halfway mark. "Nah, baby. Talk to me. You must really like the wine, huh?"
"Mmm..." you lean forward towards him, with your elbow on the counter and your chin in your palm. "What makes you say that?"
He actually snickers this time, earning a sly grin from you. "You're chugging it like it's water. It's either you love it or it tastes like ass and you're dying to spit it out."
You pick up the glass again, one last time. "Let's find out if I like it," you say as if you're not on your second serving. You let the liquid hit your tongue, and you are instantly repulsed by the flavor. The glass is tilted all the way up, signaling that you've finished two cups of wine in less than fifteen minutes. Your cheeks are filled with the drink, blown up like a puffer fish, which makes Toji smile softly with anticipation for your reaction. Your tongue stays on the roof of your mouth, keeping the wine in your cheeks separate, to give you a break for a few seconds. You release the bubbles of your cheeks and your mouth is flooded with the bittersweet liquid. You swallow the burgundy mouthful and smile with your lips pressed together once it's all gone. The mouth drying effect of wine is your least favorite thing about it.
"So?" Toji prompts.
"It's-" you gag, clasping a hand over your mouth with wide, slightly teary eyes.
Toji's chest and shoulders shake as he contains his laughter, his lips pressed together tightly to stifle the smile threatening to show itself, but his eyes tell you everything.
"Wooo, sorry about that," you say, chuckling through the embarrassment. "It's good," you repeat, still muffled by your palm.
"Yeah? Want more?" Toji asks, holding up the bottle with a teasing grin on his face.
You almost gag again but manage to control yourself. "No, thank you. Any more and I'll doze off, and we both know that's not what i'm here for." There was a hint of sultriness in your tone, something Toji was not sufficiently familiar with. It was a completely welcome shift from your normally tentative way of speaking to him.
"I know why you're here, but I wanna know what you think you're here for."
You stand from your stool and lean more of your body onto the counter. Your hand reaches for his, and for the first time, you don't pull back before making contact with his skin. "To love on you, of course," you say, with those pretty rosy cheeks. Your eyes remained glossy and your nose was still red from trying not to bring the wine back up earlier, but Toji thought you looked so cute.
"Is that right?" His thumb brushes over your knuckles, feeling the softness against his rough fingertip.
"Let's go watch that movie you were talking about and you'll see what I mean."
Toji was loving this. Your confidence, your lack of holding back anything you had to say, it was truly baffling how you could be someone else entirely with just a couple glasses of wine.
You keep his hand in yours, and as if it were your house, you say, "come on," and drag him along to the living room.
This time you say "sit" and point at the couch. This time he's the obedient dog and does as you say, sitting on the exact cushion you were pointing at with a smirk on his face. He moves the couch pillow aside to make room for you, but you had another seat in mind. You take two steps towards him before slowly dropping yourself into his lap, straddling him.
"I see you're finally taking your seat on the throne, hm?" He grins, resting his hands on your waist. This is the closest Toji's been allowed to watch you giggle without you burying your face into his neck and it's a trip. He can see the details of the creases around your eyes and the lift in your cheeks as you smile. He feels fuzzy, and he didn't even finish his glass of wine, so he knows it's not that.
"Stop making me laugh and pick a movie, will you? I'm here for that, too."
He picks up the remote for the TV and turns it on. "How are you gonna watch the movie while facing me?"
"Actually,.. can I tell you a secret, baby?" You ask, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your fingers play with the hair that reaches towards the nape of his neck, combing through it gently.
"What's that, princess?" Toji asks, vert eyes flitting between your eyes and that sweet smile of yours.
"I don't wanna watch a movie. I... wanna look at you... and that's it." Your nails gently scratch the back of his head, eliciting a tingly sensation that makes chills run down his spine.
"That's cool, too," Toji says, turning the TV off again, not caring that it was on for less than a minute before you changed your mind. He sighs, adjusting his position beneath you. Your thighs are secured around his hips, your knees touching the backrest of the couch.
"You're so handsome, my baby. God, look at those eyes," you whisper in awe, before giggling and bringing your hands to his face. You trace the bags under his eyes with your thumbs while admiring the haunting shade of green that scopes on you. Toji's hand comes up to loosely wrap around your wrist. He's not there to stop you, he just wants to move along with you as you observe his face.
"I know I don't say this to you enough, but I find you..." you sigh, blinking slowly, "enchanting..." You lean in and kiss the left corner of his lips—his right, and feel the smooth, tattered skin beneath your warm lips. "and I love you," you mumble into the cicatrix. "So fucking much, baby. And i'm sorry that you'll never know exactly how much because you aren't me." You're looking at him with so much adoration and touching him with a delicacy that can't be put into words. It's a deadly combination, one that has Toji in a chokehold and forces him to soften up even more for you.
He tightens the hold he has on your waist, pulling you closer until your stomach is pressed to his, as a result. You being so affectionate towards him is making him feel really good, and you have no idea because you're too focused on appreciating him. He's subconsciously leaning into your touch, his softened gaze meeting your lovestruck one.
"Fuck. I love you, too, princess," he murmurs, squeezing your wrist in his hand. He pulls your hand down to his chest. "Want you to aim for my lips, this time."
"Okay," you say, smiling before closing the distance between your lips and Toji's. He can still taste the remnants of the wine you inhaled minutes ago, but it tastes much better and a lot sweeter on you. Toji can hear your high pitched little hums as you kiss him, happiness pouring into your kisses. You're trying so hard not to laugh in his face, and trying is the best you can do, right now. You never were good at hiding your smile from Toji. He can't see it, but he can feel the way your lips widen, and he's occasionally kissing your teeth when your sluggishness keeps you from matching his pace. With little pants leaving you, you drag your lips away.
He sighs, frustrated by the loss of your softness against him. "Baby..." he groans, the sound almost whine-like to your ears. He wants more, so much more of you, and you're ignoring him. You're too busy kissing his chin, and his cheeks, and the tip of his nose.
You drag your other hand down to his chest and keep your hands splayed out on it as you let your lips trail his jaw, lightly sucking on the skin. Toji can't help but think about how this version of you will be gone in the morning. You won't be as outwardly affectionate, you'll go back to second guessing every move you make with him and shrinking every time he steals kisses from you, instead of confidently kissing him back like you did a minute ago.
You make your way down his neck, pressing kiss after kiss on him before you move towards his ear. "I love you, Toji," you whisper, kissing the shell of his ear after. "Love you, love you, love you soooo much," you barrage, before throwing him off with a bite to his earlobe. You giggle like a menace into his ear, the warmth of your breath luring goosebumps out onto his skin.
He chuckles, repeatedly squeezing the soft skin of your waist between his hands. "Yeah? Tell me again," he murmurs snaking his hands beneath the back of your shirt. Your skin is very warm, and there's nothing to blame but Toji and that shitty wine for making your body react this way.
With uninterrupted hands, you course your fingers through his hair and lean in to bite him again, this time on his neck. Toji chuckles at how you instantly rush to soothe him with your tongue and a warm kiss, even when you inflicted zero pain on him.
"I love you, Toji," you repeat into the wet indentations you left behind. "My love... my handsome man... I cherish you, you know?"
Toji is practically purring at all the affection you're showering him with. The slurring of your words is blocked out and they remain clear as day to him. He manages to hum a deep little "mhm" to your last statement.
"It's just so hard to talk to you sometimes. You... you're so intimidating, sometimes. I don't expect you to understand..." you divert your gaze to his shoulder, not able to look him in the eyes as vulnerability takes sudden control of your emotions. "It seems like I don't appreciate you sometimes—all the time, but I do, Toji. I do appreciate you, and I can't ever say I love you enough to show it. Words aren't always enough."
Toji catches the waver in your voice and his eyes dart to yours. You're tearing up, and you're trying to still your quivering lips by pressing them together.
"Shit," Toji mutters under his breath. You have the saddest expression he's ever seen and it's messing with his heart. He pulls his hands out of your shirt so that he can swiftly pull you into his warm embrace. "Hey," he coos. You're shaking against him, holding your breath to avoid sobbing. Your lungs burn, but you'd rather feel that than make a scene of your tears. "Don't be sad, mama. What's with the tears, hm?" he murmurs. He can feel your tears dampening his shoulder, but the fact that you haven't made a sound is concerning. "Breathe or you'll die," he says, only half joking. He rubs a soothing palm against your back, his other arm around your waist.
You let out what sounds like a mixture between a choked laugh and a sob, slowly but surely regulating your breathing. You don't even feel like saying anything anymore because you know your voice will give way to even more pity.
"You're more than enough for me," Toji says, his chin resting on your head. "I know how you feel, you know how I feel. We're complete." He can feel the way you scrunch his shirt up into your fists. As if he would go anywhere without you. "I get you and you're stuck with me. Got it?" You silently nod against his shoulder in response. "Sit up and let me look at you."
You really don't want him to see you this way. Your eyes feel swollen and you don't feel presentable.
"I can't..." you say, barely audible. You release his shirt and let your hands go limp behind him.
"Why not?"
"I'm not pretty right now. Don't look at me."
"I'm gonna look at you," he challenges with a teasing grin.
"Toji, don't look at me."
"Too late, it's happening. Plan's already in motion," he says, sliding his arms onto your shoulders.
"Toji, don't-" He effortlessly pushes you off his shoulder and gives you a once over. You look defeated and you're unable to look him in the eyes, but at least he can see you now.
"Don't know what you were so worried about. You look the same but more blush-y." You finally give him your slightly reddened eyes, a soft smile appearing on your face. You look like your sober self. "Yeah, you look the same."
"Are you lying?" You ask, still not regaining the full strength of your voice yet.
"I wouldn't tell you if I was, but no, i'm not lying. You're so pretty." Toji wiped away tears that were stuck beneath your eyes, and you giggled. He washed away your sadness within a couple minutes. Toji always did this for you in exchange for your love and affection. He lifted your spirits when you didn't feel deserving of him, and with time, he got much better at recognizing the signs that came with this ridiculous idea you planted in your head.
"You're done loving on me? Already?" He asks in playful disbelief.
"You're not done with me? Do you actually want more?" You ask, hesitantly.
"Don't want more, I need more," he corrects, returning his hands to their rightful place on your waist. "Get all up on me, princess."
You giggle, leaning closer towards him to peck a kiss onto his cheek.
"Mhm, like that," he says, contently, when you pick up the pace and start smothering him. "Yeah, baby, there you go." His forearms go beneath your shirt, encircling around your bare waist and pulling you close to him like before. "Who's getting spoiled like me?" He says through a grin. You're holding back laughs as he continues to praise you for your affection.
"S-Stop," you say through a wheeze, not able to contain the sound any longer when you looked at him.
"What are you laughing at, huh?" He chases you this time, pressing his nose into your cheek before planting a light kiss into your jaw.
"You're so unserious," you say, turning your head as he keeps going with the kisses.
"Mmm... I'm serious about you," he says, feeling the vibration of your laughter against his grin. "So serious."
Your cheeks feel incredibly hot from how much you've been smiling. In this little drunken haze, things are so good. You're so happy, you're so affectionate, and you talk so much. This isn't like you at all, but it's not hurting anyone, especially not Toji. There was one minor slip, but you moved past it so quickly like the words never left your head to begin with. You're just so simple... so easy to take care of.
Toji notices the way your eyes are starting to lid with tiredness, and while he would love for you to doze off in his arms right then and there, you'd probably prefer waking up in a bed.
"Let's go to bed, yeah?" He suggests.
"What? No! I just got here... We can still talk, and kiss and- I'm not even tired."
Toji grins at the way you fight him on this, and he has half a mind to indulge you when you look so adorable, but he has to stand his ground. He's right.
"But, you are. You can't even hold your eyes open, anymore."
You feel sad again because the rest of the night would be going to waste if you both go to sleep early. You're there to spend time with Toji, and yet you feel like it's your fault your time is being cut short. You're thinking you shouldn't have drank the wine so quickly, if at all.
"Listen, doll," Toji says. He doesn't like the sadness that resurfaces on your pretty face. He doesn't think you should look that way because of him. "We're just gonna go lay in bed. We don't have to go to sleep. We can stay up as long as you want. Light on or light off, whatever you wanna do, let's just move it to the room."
You sigh, still not completely convinced that the night isn't over, but Toji managed to persuade you. "Will you carry me, please? My legs feel like jelly."
"Of course. What kind of person would I be if I let you stumble into the room on your own?"
You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, your face buried into the crook of his neck. "You'd still be my favorite person, but i'd be a little upset..."
Toji stands from the couch, humming in response to your quiet mumbles.
"...but not really upset. Just a little bummed. Not for too long, though, 'cause I love you, but I would expect an apology from you if I fell down," you draw out.
Toji cracks at your little ramblings. It's a ten second walk from the couch to the bedroom, and the whole time you were working through a hypothetical conflict.
"Yeah? You'd want me to say sorry?" He asks, setting you down on the bed.
"Mhm, and then I wouldn't be upset or bummed anymore," you mutter to yourself as you roll onto your back.
"That's fair. Want the light on or off?"
"Off," you blurt. "Let's tell scary stories," you trill, enthusiastically. You pull the blanket over your lower body until it reaches just below your chest.
Toji makes his way to the bed after turning off the light. He takes his shirt off, and out of habit lets it fall to the floor. "We're not telling scary stories this late at night," he says, joining you beneath the blanket.
"But, they're funny," you say, turning to face him. "I don't get scared, either."
"Depends on who's telling the story. I'm sure as hell not gonna feed you a nightmare, doll."
"Boo," you say, lowly. "Whatever, i'm over it already," you mutter, rolling your eyes.
Toji watches you grow more and more tired as you throw random, nonsensical topics at him. You're taking longer to respond by the minute, and you're dozing off while humming in thought. You shake awake each time it happens and try to keep the conversation going, but Toji just shushes you and tells you to go back to sleep.
"I can see the moon through the window," you mumble, looking past him.
"I know, shh..." he hushes you, again.
"There's only like... one star," you whisper, in awe.
"Baby, come here," Toji says, like he's about to lecture you about the rules of sleep, but really he's just thinking that if his body heat doesn't put you down, he's gonna have to stay up with you until you fall asleep on your own.
You scoot closer towards Toji, tucking your arms into your chest when he reaches out to pull you into him the rest of the way. His body exudes so much warmth, you feel like you don't need the blanket at all.
There was nothing left for you to say when you couldn't see or feel anything but him. It was as if you were gone the second he enveloped you in his arms. You were small to the brink of nonexistence, no longer there to tell him what your surroundings were, or to ask him thoughtless, silly questions. You were no longer there to fight off the sleep he only seemed to bring closer towards you. Feeling his warm skin against you made you change your mind about this invisible fiend that was pulling your eyelids down. You now welcomed the calls to rest from your steady heartbeats.
Your silence gave him the answer he needed, but for good measure, he poked at you with a whisper of, "Ma?" and waited a few seconds for your response. Nothing. He sighed and coiled around you tighter. Thoughts of the night ran through his head. Your soft, yet, occasionally bruising kisses and the imprints of your teeth on his skin, your unapologetic laughter, your certainty in using the pet names that claimed him as yours. He was weak for the amount of times you openly told him you loved him. It was a psychedelic dream, to say the least. One he hoped would continue once he followed you into slumber.
You woke up hours later, completely smothered by your bear of a man. All you could do was stare up at the ceiling, while you waited for Toji to wake up because he was literally breathing down your neck. His arm rested over your chest, his legs were tangled with yours, and his face was right beside your face. You weren't feeling the effects of the wine anymore, and luckily, you didn't have a headache or any signs of a hangover. You were back, which meant...
"What are you staring at?" A deep, raspy voice jolts you out of your thoughts.
You look at the handsome face next to you, and as if your heart can hear and see, it wakes up. "Nothing. Just woke up," you lie.
"Mm... you were staring hard at the roof. I thought it came to life or something," Toji chuckles. You smile, briefly, before looking at the ceiling again.
Toji releases you and flips onto his back, wanting to know what's so fascinating about the space you're looking at. "What are you thinking?" He asks, when he discovers nothing but blank space.
You take your time, not wanting to stumble over your words. Your heart skips a beat when he turns his head to look at you. In the time it takes for you to respond, you both could have gone back to sleep again.
"A penny for your thoughts?" he finally says, following the idiom with a question. "Did I even use that correctly?"
You can't help but laugh, nodding your head to answer his question. "I'm thinking about last night. Sorry if I said anything stupid."
Toji turns his body towards you again, thinking the only thing that's stupid is that he's still staring at the roof instead of staring at you. "You didn't. You were calm, from what I got to see, at least."
"So... boring."
"Not boring," he instantly catches. "You were perfect. You didn't have me running around chasing you, you weren't a brat—it couldn't have gone better, ma." He purposely missed something in his less than brief recount of the night to you. He can think back to the emotions that seeped through your little daze, and your insecurity about outwardly showing him love, all he wants, but there's no way in hell he's bringing that up to you, now. "You ramble a lot," he adds, a soft smile emerging on his face.
You can feel your cheeks warming up. "Oh god," you groan in embarrassment. "That's not- Sorry, that sounds... not so fun. Annoying of me, actually."
"Stop, it was cute," he assures, adding more fury to the blush creeping on your face. "Then you wouldn't go to sleep 'cause you kept seeing stuff outside the window."
You wanted to drown yourself in the blanket. Shame and embarrassment were winning their battle against you, as always.
"That was also cute," he says, watching the way your lips twitch as you bite back a smile. "You know my favorite part, though?" He says, grinning as he leans towards your ear.
"N-No, what?" You ask, trying so hard not to giggle.
"When you kissed me and told me you loved me," he murmurs into your ear like it's a dirty secret.
You snicker, the short sound of amusement evolving into laughter within seconds. You throw the blanket over your face and partially over Toji's face. The sight of your veiled body shaking with laughter lured out a couple chuckles of his own.
"That's funny?" He asks, pulling the blanket down, allowing you to see the sly grin he's sporting.
"A little bit," you respond, smiling— a remainder of your laughter.
"Silly girl. Come here," he says, dragging you back into his arms. "There's no reason you should be awake at six in the morning on your day off. Let's go back to sleep," he murmurs into the crown of your head. "We can go out for breakfast, later."
"Okay," you mumble, eyes shut already as you embrace the natural warmth of his body.
"One more thing," he murmurs. You don't raise your gaze, but your ears are open and you're listening closely. "Tell me you love me."
You didn't expect that, but you weren't going to deny him of such a simple thing. The words were easy to recite because you meant them with every fiber of your being. "I love you, Toji," you comply, immediately.
He sighs, contently, almost like hearing those words revitalized him. "Love you, too, mama."
That went out to every version of you.
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