#solly speaks

[soldierofadown]

During Pride month, the Dethklok marketing team puts Pickles at the front of everything just cause he's like the only one open about his gender and sexuality

It's totally pandering to the gays but it works

[listenupcupcakes]

LISTEN UP MAGGOTS!

I HAVE NOTICED MY MEN ARE RUNNING THESE ASK BLOGS AND I HAVE DECIDED TO JOIN THEM!

SOME THIS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME IS THAT I AM A PATRIOT!

I AM A PROFESSIONAL AT KICKING COMMIE ASS

AS WELL AS A DEFENSE ATTORNEY.

I AM HAPPILY ENGAGED TO MY FIANCE ZHANNA so don't try anything ladies

AND I AM AN AMERICAN THROUGH AND THROUGH!

OOC:

Look for: #solly speaks #solly answers

#mod speaks #mod answers

Extra:

Hi! Firstly. Rest In Peace to Rick May! He was a wonderful VA and I'm grateful he leant his voice to such a great character!

Next. I made this blog because I was inspired by folks like @theredhotshot and other ask blogs out there! Soldier is one of my favorite mercs and I don't think theres a blog for him yet!

I'm probably taking this a bit too seriously lol but I love his character and if he's as fun to play as he is to write this'll be a heap of fun!

this is going to be full the the brim with headcanons, and I am going to fudge with canon just a smidge but I'm trying to make this as accurate as I can!

(just going to throw it out there, I do beleive the blu and red mercs are different people, WAR follow the Blu Soldier while the main comics follow the Red Soldier, this blog is for the Red Soldier who has his own opinions on the Demo and other mercs!)

If he's a tad klunky or out of character I apologize! I will probably end up redoing this post in the future lol I genuinely didn't know what to write lol-

I'm cool with rp if anyones wondering

[kindredsoleil]

People don't actually rip each other apart if they get a confession they don't like right...? Or is that a joke... Do people just lie for humor?

[solitairespiders]

who are you people where did you come from

👋 hi

[listenupcupcakes]

THIS IS TRUE!

He makes me drink water every time I step into his office!

Even when I’m not injured!

Medic, I’m sorry man, but I don’t think your team drinks enough water

[gestures vaguely towards demo, scout, and soldier]

…Ja, I know. I make zhem drink twelve liters vhen zhey come in for checkups.

[aerowolf]

me when

i love SolZhanna so much but i probably won't finish this so i am shoving it at you guys. they r so... augh

original under cut

[ask-redsoldier-tf2]

did you know that I am in your walls :)

👌︎☜︎❄︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ 💧︎☹︎☜︎☜︎🏱︎ 🕈︎🖐︎❄︎☟︎ 🏳︎☠︎☜︎ ☜︎✡︎☜︎ 🏳︎🏱︎☜︎☠︎

THERE'S A RED SPY IN THE WALLS!!!

HE'S IN THE WAAAALLLLLS!!!!

[burntmarshmallowqueen]

Iris canonically has mouthes in her eyelashes

[listenupcupcakes]

MEDIC STILL HAS A BREAD BEAST IN HIS LAB.

WE ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO TELEPORT BREAD.

Tell soldier when you wake up that I will send you guys some bread because yes and America 🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🦅🇺🇲🦅🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Thank you. Jane told me about time he mutated bread into a large beast. I hope to also experience these shenanigans once I join the team.

[sargetblu]

SOLDIER-

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE GONNA BELIEVE ME BUT THERE IS A RED SOLDIER COMING AFTER YOU THAT'S EVEN CRAZIER THAN THE RED SOLDIER!

@the-painis-cupcake

Crazier than that communist hippie?!

I'll believe it when I see it!

[soldierofadown]

I was telling my mom about Pickles and how he's from Wisconsin. When I told her he's from Tomahawk she said 'Of course he's from Tomahawk'

[listenupcupcakes]

can i come to the wedding?

OF COURSE PRIVATE! THE WHOLE UNIT IS INVITED!

I wonder if medic could bake some pastries!

[kindredsoleil]

Would you hold my hand, even if my flesh was stained forevermore by the blood of a Polukranos? Be honest!

[eagle-head-charge]

Wait if onę of Spys kids were hypothetically (i think thats how you spell it) not American? Not saying that im not American or anything just wanna know

OOH, I LOVE HYPOTHETICALS!!!!!!

IF ONE OF SPY'S CHILDREN WEREN'T AMERICAN, THEY'D BE DISOWNED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!! SPY IS A TRUE PATRIOT JUST LIKE ME, AND HE WOULD HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR COMMIES IN OUR HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND NEITHER WOULD I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, if they just speak commielanguage or used to live there but were BORN IN AMERICA, they're still AMERICANS and they still BLEED RED, WHITE AND BLUE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!! Spy was BORN IN AMERICA for example, and he just GREW UP IN FRANCE!!!!! BUT THEN HE REALISED IT WAS A COUNTRY FOR HIPPIES, SO HE MOVED BACK TO AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKING HIM AN AMERICAN HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND NOT A FRENCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S AMERICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was fun!!! YOU DIDN'T NEED TO REMIND ME YOU'RE AN AMERICAN, MOTH CHILD, I KNOW THAT YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE ALL MY PATRIOT CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[aerowolf]

me: aw solly is definitely a comfort character and so cool but maybe not necessarily handsome? I'm not sure really?

him af:

ohhh okay. okay i see. i see

[listenupcupcakes]

I WOULD LIKE A LOLLIPOP PLEASE

Do you have any lollipops?

Ja! For zhe Pyro vhen zhey're in here. Though zhat is rare, I still keep zhe candy for zhem. Do you vant one?