#10 hours is impossible
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bye forever… ❤️
(the forever being 10 hours)
#10 hours without electronics#the sad truth#as someone who’s addicted I say#10 hours is impossible#because I need to be on my phone#every single second#because of my#non existent adhd#anyways my mom is taking my phone rn#BRUH HELP?#and she might scroll through here#because she nosy af#so you can tell her shit in the reblogs#comments#or replies#idk#she’s actually so nosy it’s insane so#I don’t got time to hide all my posts-#I mean I can log out technically#but I kinda forgot my password#✈️🏢🏢
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not going to lie, it's kind of a weird feeling to know that i've shaped the public perception of a current event in a small, but not completely insignificant, way. i wonder if i've created an adequate representation for something reaching so many eyeballs. it's definitely a good post, it explains it to laypersons well and has a humourous voice for it's discussion of gravity. but there are definitely things i would amend or add as an addendum if i could. but it's pretty far gone out of my hands now. idk. just part of me worries that i have maybe just played a tiny part in the outcry of a company that could be like 85% deserving of the blame rather than 110%. oh well. new (and potentially incorrect) information is still being proliferated so time will tell i suppose.
#also what the actual fuck 50000 notes in 10 hours#actually it's been an hour since i woke up and started reading and thinking about it all so its more like 55000#so that can give an idea of how impossible it is to read all the reblogs#which i desperately want to do bc there's a lot of great info ppl are adding in there i want to reblog
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took an afternoon nap and had a vivid dream about kaeya's mom getting stabbed in front of him and her telling him to run which is wild af coz where in the "fathers against sons" idea did my brain pick this up? but anyway!
this is a great contrast to his father telling him to stay when he was left in mondstadt
and now i have a brainrot where kaeya was intending to stay and face diluc's attack against him the night they fought, but on the very last second before it strikes him, he hears the voice of his mother telling him to run
and then he receives his vision
#kaeyachi randoms#kaeya#kaeya alberich#my dreams are fanfiction fuel and only my adhd and 10 hours a day job are stopping me from word vomiting all over AO3#oh and it would be really funny of me to bring back the mom tsaritsa theory again despite that being highly impossible lmao
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Hey I'm graduating college in may and I just kinda realized that I'll be Done Done with school after that. Not fake-done like I was graduating high school, where I'd have to go to college at the start of the fall. And not fake-done like I was in any of my semesters I took off.
Done Done. As in I accomplished my degree, and I won't ever have to go back to school if I don't want to. What a beautiful, beautiful thought.
#speculation nation#i enjoy learning but not in school. school is the soul killer. there's a reason it's taking me 10 years to get my bachelors.#failed classes and switched majors and part time school (so i could work and pay my way thru) and semesters taken off...#for 9 and a half years now it's been a fucking shadow hanging over my head.#just gotta keep going just gotta persevere. slow and steady wins the race.#and well im nearly there now. holy fuck tho i didnt miss full time school lmfao#i went to part time a few years back to save my fuckin self bc it was just *impossible* to do full time school And work to support myself.#and even part time school plus a job was horrible. but i did it anyways.#and here i am now with my lovely life insurance from my awful paternal death. life sure happens as it will huh.#which will let me complete school in a neat 10 years. graduated high school in 2015 and college in 2025. wild.#not glad my dad died but im grateful that ive gotten this opportunity afterwards.#sure is strange the ways life goes.#anyways yeah im in deadlines hell rn with all these fucking projects but ONCE I FINISH THEM#i will be done with this semester. my second to last semester.#theyre releasing class schedules today for next semester too and im a little antsy. cant edit until next week regardless#but i wanna KNOWWWWW what i got. best case scenario i get my 3 classes i need to graduate#plus my orchestra and bowling. so i have a full 12 credit hours. to be full time still.#im scared of not having gotten 3 classes bc theyre selectives yea so i dont need These classes Specifically#but also it'll be a pain in my fucking ass if i have to go scrounging. and i wanna have my first choices...#but we'll see. i selected several fall-through options and i dont need any single specific class to graduate.#so long as i have 3... thatll be enough...#AUGHHHHH college!!!! im almost done!!!!! i might get straight As this semester!!!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to email my professor about setting up the book meeting lol. i should do that today.
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really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).
#storyrambles#it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance.#this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun#flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun#but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean#‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid#I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no.#‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask.#‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours.#‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works.#sorry for the rant im just. tired.#you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard#and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves?#yeah. that’s this friend here.#usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit#and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them#I am not going to play along.#UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’#I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me#it’s uncomfortable.#also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID#will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I?#(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.)#I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day.#‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’#first of all. that’s different?#secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves#also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so.#ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible.#but UGHHHHHH
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Being the oldest cousin sucks so bad I never have anyone to talk when there's family things
#today was my grandpa's 80th birthday#and i left like an hour ago i think? bc i was sleepy and bored#its impossible to be at these things bc i really have no one to talk to besides my own siblings#bc all my cousins are like 10 years younger than me 😅#me and my sister are the oldest actually and we have a 3 year difference between each other so you can see how i do#after my sister my cousins started being born little by little#but most of them were born after my little brother#i was around 10 years when baby fever hit the family apparently and i was having cousins left and right#anyway thats how it was today#now im trying to finish this stupid guide on turbines for my exam#its currently 2:35am...#i shall go to sleep soon
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any time i remember time lord victorious arc i start shaking like a sick fucking dog
#having an extraordinarily hard time watching waters of mars rn literally episode of all fucking time#they dont make them like this anyMOOOOOOOOOORE OHHMY GODDDD#icould talk abt it for hours istg it's so. grips you shakes you shakes you shakes you shakes you sh#the WAYYDYDYDHDHDJDJDJDUJDJDHDJDUDJD THHHEEEE THE THE THE . HTHHEHEH#the way u can see glimpses of what's to come in all 4 seasons but especially in voyage of the#damned and then s4 onwards but u dont realise JUST how much he went insane until now#like there's echoes of this in votd but you might not even pick up on it if you dont Know#n here he's just fully gone it's sooo. IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOO. CHARACTER OF ALL TIME#man so profoundly tragic his entire story is abt speedrunning losing everything and#going insane and dying. and yet he still spends like 20 entire minutes crying and begging not to die. okay#i cant rank drs they're my best friends so idk who my fave dr is but 10's is easily my favourite story it's so. it's SOOO.#anyway sorry. stops shaking you and pats your arms down awkwardly. carry on#doctor who#dw lb#10th doctor#the waters of mars#time lord victorious#i was today years old when i learned there's apparently a whole audio series about it that#came out in the past few years. well i aint listenin to that. everything i need is on my screen already#also. the way most ppl havent even seen these specials coz they're impossible to find online..#even tho waters of mars is like. not just extremely important but also yknow. extremely good
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sjdgdj I'm still bitter about an exam (essay answers. 16 questions, average 250 words required per question (150-350), you lost TWO POINTS for writing even one word less than designated, even if answering everything specified correctly, time: 08:00-14:00, allowed to use the reading material and googling as reference) with a question about the specific mechanisms of an obscure camera model used by pre-hollywood victor sjöström. now the thing is. that information is nowhere on the internet. the closest info is a sourceless pdf about another 1920s camera they also used. mechanism not described. the real answer was probably described in a scanned handout of a book that wasn't part of our course material. THAT OUR PROFESSOR MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN HE NEVER GIVE US
#had to write nonstop for the whole time (who schedules it over lunch like that????) resulting in 10 pages single spaced font 11. STILL. lost#like 6 points on questions i wrote like. 345 words on when 350 where required. lol. THIS WAS A 62 POINT TOTAL TEST WHERE YOU HADE TO GET A#52 TO PASS. ONLY REASON I DID WAS BECAUSE OF EXTRA CREDIT FROM A PREV OPTIONAL SEMINAR#i had studious classmates who had to redo it twice.#it was early covid so i get them trying to. idk. make tests that could be done securely at home while having no experience of doing it. but#the jump in. like. genral hall exams with two hours to go to almost physically impossible. and no acknowledgement of it. insane#“did he mention it in a lecture” i took really creepily thorough notes at the time and didnt miss any lecture
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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i'm still harping on the choice to have the new until dawn start at sunset and how i take my winter darkness seriously but
i'm pretty sure canada or at least southern alberta is way south from where i live, but the sun being so high it shows over the mountains at 7PM in february?? 😂😭
ok the internet (timeanddate dot com) tells me that on 2.2.2015 in calgary (which i believe is close to where the game takes place) the sun set at 17:28! that's 1,5 hours of d a r k n e s s already before the beginning of the game (new time, 19:02)!
#also the sun rose at 8:10 which is actually ten hours after the original beginning of the game (21:02)!#//wait it's not thats eleven hours#according to the remake dawn is at 5am??#it's like the original game designers thought about these things!#do i like the choice to have the sunset there in the remake?#yes! but only because when the sun goes down the game gets so dark it's impossible to see anything and i gave up watching#until dawn#until dawn remake#i dont actually have a horse in this race i have not paid money for this game nor ever even played it myself#i say
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my body alert me to having an entirely full bladder with more than 30s warning challenge (impossible)
#it! is! so! annoying! just! be! normal! *screams*#genuinely i did piss myself as a kid a LOT until i was like. 10. no lie.#bc i would not know - at all! no inclination whatsoever! if i went anyway nothing would come out! - i needed to pee#until we hit 'you are going to piss yourself immediately'#just 0 to 100 in 0.35 seconds#and i did not have the control or muscle strength or whatever to not just. piss myself if i wasnt in immediate reach of a bathroom#i went though two. years. of 'bladder retraining' therapy#which is MEANT to retune you into signals or whatever so you know you need to pee with a fucking resonable amount of warning#spoiler: it did not do this#it did not improve the signalling at all whatsoever#what it DID do was develop the necessary strength and control to become doubled over with sudden OH GOD RIGHT NOW pee pain#BUT be able to hold it off for 5-10 min if necessary#which to the adults around me was a success bc it looked like i knew how to pee properly now#i don't. i just know how to NOT pee MYSELF and make it embarrassing. difference.#look man i'm 33 presumably there will literally never be a point in my life where i will know 'oh i kinda need to pee' an hour before#i will always be playing Highway To The Danger Zone every day forever#i just live like this#CHRIST it's so FUCKING annoying though#i mean this applies to all functions i have no internal signalling for anything until it is Super Right Now Urgent#my body notify me of anything at all ever challenge (impossible)#god if this aint the most annoying one though
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I would die for the Tubbo & Richarlyson duo
#qsmp#tubbo#qsmp richarlyson#I'm still trying to get through tubbo s stream from yesterday#tubbo stop streaming for 10+ hours challenge#impossible edition
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Just realised I haven't drawn anything in like 10 days sorry artblock got me GOOD and also college is BEATING me tf UP :(
#minor vent but i alr fucking despise a levels#apprently im supposed to do 5 hours outside lessons but like idk what exactly to do???#also i literally cannot concentrate on revision like i js cant do it#im prob js using shitty methods but i dont know to make them any better???#also im just undeniably BAD at it and ik im only a half term in but im so discouraged alr#like my recent homework i got 2/6 questions right and they were multiple choice so it wasn't supposed to be THAT difficult#and then 5/10 on an essay question#which is still not great tbh#in my defense the multilple choice ones are worded in such a way its basically impossible to figure out what they mean#fuck i am so cooked i hate it here#also no one is social and i have no friends in most my lessons#doesnt help really#anyway vent over i want college OVER
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wow turns out it is a lot easier to get up with your alarm on the first try when you don’t set it two hours too early and spend two hours snoozing it getting low quality disrupted sleep……
#i know this seems simple#but i was so much in the mindset that i have to get up early to be productive#that the idea of waking up at 10 am every day seemed lazy#but when you have late night rehearsals all the time and you are most productive at night#and never can get to sleep before 12#and typically fall asleep between 1 and 2 am because that’s when your brain finally quiets down…#then yeah trying to wake up at 8 am each day means being chronically sleep deprived#especially when you have chronic fatigue that makes it impossible really to function with less than 8 hours of sleep and 9 is ideal#so i’ve decided fuck it if i’m going to struggle to get up early and start every day feeling ashamed that i couldn’t get up with my alarm#i might as well set my alarm for 10 am get better quality rest not feel any shame and functionally it’s the same result#i just need to hold myself accountable to getting everything done during the day and night#not leaving anything to the morning to finish right before class#which hey might be easier to do if i’m not chronically sleep deprived……
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I've slept for like maybe 4 hours a night on average since Wednesday last week and I am /so/ fucking over it. I got like 7 hours last night because I stupidly agreed to go on a trip and got home very late, but man that's not anywhere close to enough. I've spent the entire day tired af today, was /so/ tired and ready to fall asleep when I got home from work, but decided I was gonna wait till at least like 8 pm because I didn't wanna wake up at 2 in the morning unable to fall back asleep. Then it got to like 7 pm and my roomies all started hanging out in the kitchen, and the new guy has never heard of the term inside voice, and the washer was running and they were playing cards and it was. I spent two hours in bed with the lights off trying to fall asleep but I only managed to listen to a convo about how it's important to eat meat and protein and how bad carbs are for you (my new roomie is a gymbro)...
Now all my roomies are quiet but my upstairs neighbour it watching TV so loud I can hear every single word, and there's fireworks going off somewhere as fucking always, and I'm too upset to be able to fall asleep anyway. And I have to bite my fucking lip when crying to stop myself from making any sounds, because then everyone in this flat and every single one of my neighbours would hear me. And I can't even sleep in on weekends or anything, I literally get woken up by my flatmates being loud anyway.
And I dunno, I know I might just need to get over myself, but I'm just so fucking tired, and so fucking upset that I can't even choose /when I want to go to sleep in my own fucking home/, and I'll be stuck living like this for the next 6 months, and I know it's not /that/ bad, but also maybe it is that bad, and either way I don't wanna do it, but I fucking have to because I'm already paying some 65% of my current income for rent (with 4 flatmates! I honestly should have just paid a bit more for a tiny shitty studio) and I can't afford to break the lease. Like even if I move back home tomorrow I'm still stuck paying my fucking lease.
I know this is extremely minor compared to problems some of y'all are having, but man, I am *so* upset by this. Like I cannot spend 8 hours a day sitting in a loud af open space office, commuting 2-3 hours a day because the buses are so fucking unreliable, then come home and be surrounded by more noise and not even be able to do normal things when I want to. Like even getting 7-8h of sleep somewhat consistently is not /great/ for me, I'm a 9 hours a night kind of person, and this will absolutely ruin me if I have to do this for 6 months. And it's for a shitty fucking job that I thought sounded interesting but that's been extremely meh so far and doesn't even pay minimum wage because of some weird legal loophole.
Legit considering ways to get evicted.
#Like I grew up in a commie block and spent the past 10 years living in dorms and shared flats#It's not like I'm experiencing living away from home or like sounds for the first time or something#But it's never been this fucking bad#Like I technically pay extra for a private balcony#But it's a balcony divided in half and the other half is available for everyone in the apartment#And the soundproofing from that balcony to my room is almost worse than through the walls#So I hear all my flatmates' phone convos and shit they have on the balcony#Like I don't go out of my way to listen but it's impossible not to listen it's like the person's in my room#Literally sitting next to me#That's how bad the soundproofing is in here#Non-existent#Ughhhhhhhhhh#Herr's personal tag#If I fall asleep now it's 5.5 hours and I mean. I'm not in a mental state to fall asleep rn not to mention the fucking NOISE
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i need everyone to physically restrain me from searching thru the emmrich tag i’m being fr
#i don’t want spoilers but the parasites in me want spoilers#if i don’t finish the game this weekend (impossible) i will be violent#*restarts the game after 10 hours of play* where is the old man#marie.txt
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