#10 and 11???? why was that fine
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"but this changes everything why are there two doctors its stupid!!!!!"
#yall are chill with two doctors interacting only when theyre both white#10 and 11???? why was that fine#15 LITERALLY SAID THEYRE OUT OF TIME#14 IS GONNA REGENERATE CHILL OUT#be happy#doctor who#dr who#15th doctor#14th doctor#david tennant#ncuti gatwa
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It's so funny seeing people people joke about reading TLH and found "Where's Percy??? Who's this Jason guy???"
Cause that was not my thought process when started HOO
I went in thinking "Oh! Percy will be a background leader type character like Firestar was! :D" (because, despite people joking about it, Firestar really was just leading his clan after the first arc. He was not getting dragged into prophecies left and right until right before his death)
I was wrong of course- but I was going in use to different protagonists each series. especially in the dynamic Rick wrote HOO in versus how he wrote pjo.
You know what I WAS thinking for a good bit there before it became bluntly obvious he was a son of Jupiter/Roman.
I was considering the theory that Jason was a monster that had his mind wiped for some reason? Like that Couch Hedge was suspicious of him because of that but Jason just didn't know about his background or anything.
I even was like "oh, could he be one of those wind spirit things their fighting???" When he start flying during that fight and all that...
Yeah. That was my thought process. Let me tell you I was not bored with Jason's first few chapters, whether it was because of that or just in general I couldn't tell you.
Anyway. I'll defend my boy to this day.
#mine#pain rambles#pjo jason#jason grace#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo#pjo fandom#seriously tho#10-11 year old me was INVESTED#i found Piper's first few chapters the most boring ngl#idk why i just couldn't click with her#both her and Jason weren't met to their true potential#but still love them#also...unpopular opinion but i don't think Percy needed to be a main character again#it was fine#but him in the background as a leader would've been interesting#of course i cling to a background character from pjo should've taken his place in hoo#but meh
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windows/linux rant
unrelated to SMT or anything on my blog currently I guess...
I keep seeing the "prep for windows 11" thing show up on my computer, and it upsets me every time that you have to have a microsoft account to install it.
windows 10 reaches end of support next year~~
I hope by then the computer I"m using will actually let me run linux on it instead of an outdated windows os....
I want to run linux on this machine so bad but whenever I try to install it, it seems to install fine and dandy
and then it won't boot
I've snooped around in the BIOS, disabled the "smart startup" or "secure startup" or whatever else I thought was borking the boot for linux.
but it still won't boot~~~
and sadly i've got games on here that only work on windows anyway.
I'd much rather be able to stay relatively safe online and maintain an OS, than play the games I bought on steam....
something is preventing linux from booting on this machine, it upsets me when I think about it, and it upsets me more when I try to install linux and it goes fine, but then doesn't boot
cause I have to take the time to reinstall windows again.....
why computer? why won't you let linux boot? what do I need to do to you to have linux actually boot? I don't understand...
*confused screaming*
running an ASUS ROG Stryx gaming pc that I bought on impulse years ago. so you'd think linux mint would boot just fine, right??
how do I fix it? if I can fix it? especially if I don't destroy the data on the second hard drive of this thing. I've got stuff I don't want to lose on here, preferably....
#personal#thoughts#thinking#windows#windows 10#windows 10 end of support next year#wondows 11#i'd rather run linux than make a microsoft account#linux#linux mint#to be more precise#linux mint debian#it won't boot#boot issue#boot issues#it installs perfectly fine#and then won't boot#why won't you boot#is windows boot loader so far up this thing that it's actuvely denying linux to boot on it at all??#rant#rant post#vent#vent post#i'd rather a secure and upkept os than one that can run my games#you install perfectly fine#then won't boot#but you installed the boot partition in the right place right?#how do I fix this?#if I can fix it#without borking my machine and the data that's on the second hard drive
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i'm gonna start replying to people who say 11 is their favorite doctor with "oh the writing wasn't very good but matt smith did the best he could in the role" because i am tired of pretending i liked almost any of his seasons
it's what i have to hear about 13 all the time and i'm sick to the gills of it. sick of it i say!
#it is so difficult participating in broader fandom when everyone takes every opportunity to shit on her seasons#like christ it is so normalized to completely denegrate her entire run#i've had people say this shit to me and then turn around and admit they never watched all of it#like lskjdfla;kshtgal;ksjdfal;skjdfas#it makes me wanna bite and tear like a wild animal#and it's so performative!!! like they gotta say her writing was bad but jodie did a good job and that's the discussion#half the time no one can really point to why the writing didn't resonate with them#and the other half is timeless child hate which ok fine that's your opinion but also it really only defines the latter half of her arc?#most of season 12 is pointing to the timeless child reveal yes but there are several general adventure episodes#i'm just so tired of having to constantly defend 13#this is gods hardest battle and i'm his weakest soldier fr#like why is it when i say 13 is my favorite doctor we have to shit on all of her seasons but when someone else say 10 or 11#i have to be the polite one and nod along like yes completely perfect choices no flaws whatsoever in those runs#just ONCE i want an 'oh fair enough' and move on in discussion
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“i’m all alone, but i’m as happy as can be!”
#aka top 10 things i wish i could drill into my coworkers brains grrrrrrrrrrrrrrnrhrhbgbgbfbfbfnf#‘you should get a bf’ ‘when are you gonna get married and have kids?’ how about n e v e r#i just want to sleep when i’m not on the clock mans i don’t want to waste my precious sleep time on others#i mean. i don’t even leave the house on my days off. not to go shopping or anything bc sleep is more important~~~#and stuff can be bought online anyways s o o o o o#g o d speaking of online purchases thoughhh this massage seat i bought online came in yesterday and it works amazingly well~~~~~#used it for half an hour last night and i was relaxed enough to sleep for 11-12 hours straight#wish i had space for an actual massage chair though but this will have to do…#it’s been my dream to own a massage chair for the longest time…… but ig this massage seat is good enough……#i can just slap it onto my desk chair and b a m ✨instant paradise✨#speaking of instant though… one of my coworkers was commenting on my love for instant noodles the other day#‘you’ll ✨d i e✨ faster if you eat a lot of cup noodles yk?’ he said#so ✨o f c✨ my mouth chose to work faster than my brain when i replied with ‘i’m fine with that bc i won’t have to work then’#he and another coworker laughed :( sadded#b u t i finally had my cup noodles that i ‘customised’ at the cup noodle museum today and it was good~~~~~~~ i have good taste (self praise)#the best part was the lack of spring onions!!!! bc screw spring onions really who decided that they should be included with most cup noodles#or just noodles in general? the texture sucks and they don’t even taste good man. why would you even add spring onions?#it’s number 2 in my list of most hated food toppings. it loses only to ikan bilis bc s c r e w ikan bilis or dried anchovies or whatever#they’re known as >:( i hateeeeee how takeout places will just assume that you want ikan bilis and lop on a huuuuugeeeee serving of them#atop your food as you desperately and futilely b e g them to stop#and when you try to pick them out they just!!!! keep turning up everywhere instead?????#like hello???? how did you manage to get to the bottom of the bowl???? you were only added as a topping!!!!!!!#also. their eyes are really creepy. and the heads get detached from the bodies all the time and just. seeing the eyes ruins my appetite.#wait this was supposed to be about my coworkers and their pushiness in a matter that doesn’t concern them how did we get so far off-topic—#chizuutan chizpost
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i just sneezed unexpectedly and fell off the bed, proceeding to bonk my head on the same wall i ran into earlier and rip my phone out of the charger
help
#I don't even know what I'm doin#I'm just here and this hotel room wants to kill me#ITS LIKE 75 DEGREES BUT THE THERMOSTAT WONT TURN DOWN#IT BE FINE IF I WASNT DYING OF HEAT RN#I am a cold blooded creature who needs it to be cold so I can be comfy#But it is w a r m#And I can't use the VLANKET HELP#Ow#my head says ow#I also got myself trapped in a snowdrift couple days ago for like... 10 minutes#And I think the snow cursed me#Like#rvil snow or somethin#Why I keep bonkin my bones#It's only 10:30#Wait no it's 11:30 in my normal timezone#I'm not at home#Help
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You have to actually watch and read stuff before you can criticize it. I'm sorry you just do. Um unless emma watson is in it
#idk why I just really do not like her and I feel bad because she's fine but wow is she. someone who got super famous from one thing#that she was cast in at 10 and didn't have to re-earn the right to be in for 11 more years or however long it was
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Guys I dont think 7 hours of sleep is actually the right amount for me.
#this is the first day in maybe a month or 2 i didnt set an alarm for myself to wake up at a reasonable time#and i slept extremely peacefully from 11 to 11 thats 12 hours of sleep i also feel good??? like not exhausted from oversleep???#i do work 6 days a week... but like that could be worse i could not have a day off at all and i need the money#and i refuse to go to bed early theres already so little time in the day i cant waste it on sleep ughhg#crossing my fingers that my new job works out but thats also gonna mess with my sleep bad for a good while#body why are u so needy!!! 10 hours of sleep is unreasonable!!! i get it that 5-6 is too little#but 7-8 should be normal we should be fine what is up girl!!?
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Ugh I have to try and sleep soon and I'm not happy about it lol
#I know realistically I'll be fine tomorrow I remember what Linette told me#and I know she knows I'm capable and that's why she really kinda just told me the gist once cuz that's kinda all I need lol#I just need to go around the store to check if any products are missing tags and then replace those#and I need to remember I can make more than one batch so that way I'm not confused by a jumble of random tags lol#T for tag and s for sign and then pick the number that corresponds with the sign size I need which is usually a 3x5#yayyyyy I have brain that will brain!!!#of course that's tonight when I have a gummy in my system idk how tf I'll handle tomorrow when I can't be high and I'll be in pain#fuck uteri#anyways I'm gonna actually try to sleep by 12:30 at the latest#I pushed my routine back a couple hours so I took my gummy at 9 instead of 10 and I put my laptop down before 11#if you see me on here an hour from now no you didn't lol
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i need a shower for like 12 tomorrow and i literally dont get up until like 1 usually i feel like when you meet a teenager and piss them off about waking up late except im the moody bitch fucking teenager and im quickly getting more and more pissed off and so you tell them to do something and then everyones just fuming and its just a really bad vibe
#please im so tired its midnight i should be asleep in bed and im so not gonna wake up before like 11#i need to live my old lady life why must i Leave ?? the House ???#please img onan cry i really dont wanna get a shower its so late i wanna go to BED i feel like a tired baby#i hope i DIE#i want to write about george daniel and do NOTHING else for the next three weeks#its TOO COLD literally why would you make me go out in this weather#it is ICY!!!!!!!!!!! i am not BUILT FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i am built for spring-summer warmth and NOTHING else.#im gonna start crying#LET ME HIBERNATE#@ scientists can you make human hibernation a thing please please please please please i would give you ALL my money i promise#i dont wanna do anything in autumn and winter i just get depressed#i need to go and live in finland#im gonna cry#ok but... wait...#waitttt........#if i wake up at... 10... and then. no thats not ognna work#FUCK#wait okay no if i get up at half nine i have an hour and a half and that is Not enough for a shower but also it doesnt matter if im late#so basically i just have to wake up at half 9 and its all gonna be fine YES ! ok whatever im gonna do that and then i can juts sleep now#OKAY !#i also need someone to go to a concert with and im kinda mad about it now#blah blah!#not 75 stuff
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Okkk
Tomorrow is septemberr
Shiiiit
I DONY WANNA GO TO FKNG COLLEGE
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So many questions asked of me when I walk in with a new container of instant (freeze dried) coffee.
"Where did you get that?" "It was how much?" "What makes it different?" "Can I see that?" "Is this written in Japanese or Korean?" "How do you know how much to use?" "So how is it?"
$8 for a small jar of instant coffee... is admittedly a bit expensive. Considering they wanted about $3-4 per bottle of iced coffee though (or $2 for the little cans), and I get a little more out of it than the $10 12-pack sack of instant coffee pouches I'd say this is a win. Plus areas around here want about $3-6 for a single cup of coffee (varying in size and types).
Online recommendations on some random Korean food blog a search engine brought up said to use 2 teaspoons of this brand. Makes a very strong cup of coffee even with my usual addition of some sugar and milk or a bit of condensed milk so I'll try testing it later with either less coffee or more water and this is with 10 oz water instead of the instruction's 6 or 8 oz (I forget which now).
#food#import store#family discussions#just talking#I can afford to get a little spurgey on the jar since I regularly save a lot when shopping otherwise.#80 g = 17 teaspoons#6 cups at 2 teaspoons per#if I stretch it then 10 to 15 more cups.#6 or 11 or 16 cups of coffee for $8? instead of $3-5 for one? Nice.#Friend: “Why not just get beans and a grinder?”#Me: “Instant's fine.”
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A sexy, skinny defeat device for your HP ink cartridge
Animals keep evolving into crabs; it's a process called "carcinisation" and it's pretty weird. Crabs just turn out to be extremely evolutionarily fit for our current environment:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-animals-keep-evolving-into-crabs/
By the same token, all kinds of business keep evolving into something like a printer company. It turns out that in this enshittified, poorly regulated, rentier-friendly world, the parasitic, inkjet business model is extremely adaptive. Printerinisation is everywhere.
All that stuff you hate about your car? Trapping you into using their mechanics, spying on you, planned obsolescence? All lifted from the inkjet printer business model:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
That GE fridge that won't make ice or dispense water unless you spend $50 for a proprietary charcoal filter instead of using a $10 generic? Pure printerism:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/12/digital-feudalism/#filtergate
The software update to your Sonos speakers that makes them half as useful and takes away your right to play your stored music, forcing you to buy streaming music subscriptions? Straight out of the HP playbook:
https://www.wired.com/story/sonos-admits-its-recent-app-update-was-a-colossal-mistake/
But as printerinized as all these gadgets are, none can quite attain the level of high enshittification that the OG inkjet bastards attain on a daily basis. In the world championships of effortlessly authentic fuckery, no one can lay a glove on the sociopathic monsters of HP.
For example: when HP wanted to soften us all up for a new world of "subscription ink" (where you have to pre-pay every month for a certain number of pages' worth of printing, which your printer enforces by spying on you and ratting you out to HP over the internet), they offered a "lifetime subscription" plan. With this "lifetime" plan, you paid just once and your HP printer would print out 15 pages a month for so long as you owned your printer, with HP shipping you new ink every time you ran low.
Well, eventually, HP got bored of not making you pay rent on your own fucking printer, so they just turned that plan off. Yeah, it was a lifetime plan, but the "lifetime" in question was the lifetime of HP's patience for not fucking you over, and that patience has the longevity of a mayfly:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/06/horrible-products/#inkwars
It would take many pages to list all of HP's sins here. This is a company that ships printers with half-full ink cartridges and charges more than the printer cost to buy a replacement set. The company that won't let you print a black-and-white page if you're out of yellow ink. The company that won't let you scan or send a fax if you're out of any of your ink.
They make you "recalibrate" your printer or "clean your heads" by forcing you to print sheets of ink-dense paper. They also refuse to let you use your ink cartridges after they "expire."
HP raised the price of ink to over $10,000 per gallon, then went to war against third-party ink cartridge makers, cartridge remanufacturers, and cartridge refillers. They added "security chips" to their cartridges whose job was to watch the ink levels in your cartridge and, when they dip below a certain level (long before the cartridge is actually empty), declare the cartridge to be dry and permanently out of use.
Even if you refill that cartridge, it will still declare itself to be empty to your printer, which will therefore refuse to print.
Third party ink companies have options here. One thing they could do is reverse-engineer the security chip, and make compatible ones that say, "Actually, I'm full." The problem with this is that laws like Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) potentially makes this into a felony punishable by a five-year prison sentence and a $500k fine, for a first offense.
DMCA 1201 bans bypassing "an effective means of access control" to a copyrighted work. So if HP writes a copyrighted "I'm empty" program for its security chip and then adds some kind of access restriction to prevent you from dumping and reverse-engineering that program, you can end up a felon, thanks to the DMCA.
Another countermove is to harvest security chips out of dead cartridges that have been sent overseas as e-waste (one consequence of HP's $10,000/gallon ink racket is that it generates mountains of immortal, toxic e-waste that mostly ends up poisoning poor countries in the global south). These can be integrated into new cartridges, or remanufactured ones.
In practice, ink companies do all of this and more, and total normie HP printer owners go to extremely improbable lengths to find third party ink cartridges and figure out how to use them. It turns out that even people who find technology tinkering intimidating or confusing or dull can be motivated to learn and practice a lot of esoteric tech stuff as an alternative to paying $10,000/gallon for colored water.
HP has lots of countermoves for this. One truly unhinged piece of fuckery is to ask Customs and Border Patrol to block third-party ink cartridges with genuine HP security chips that have been pried loose from e-waste shipments. HP claims that these are "counterfeits" (because they were removed and re-used without permission), even though they came out of real HP cartridges, and CBP takes them at their word, seizing shipments.
Even sleazier: HP pushes out fake security updates to its printers. You get a message telling you there's an urgent security update, you click OK, and your printer shows you a downloading/installing progress bar and reboots itself. As far as you can tell, nothing has changed. But these aren't "security" updates, they're updates that block third-party ink, and HP has designed them not to kick in for several months. That way, HP owners who get tricked into installing this downgrade don't raise hell online and warn everyone else until they've installed it too, and it's too late:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer
This is the infectious pathogen business model: one reason covid spread so quickly was that people were infectious before they developed symptoms. That meant that the virus could spread before the spreader knew they had it. By adding a long fuse to its logic bomb, HP greatly increases the spread of its malware.
But life finds a way. $10,000/gallon ink is an irresistible target for tinkerers, security researchers and competitors. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but the true parent of jaw-dropping ingenuity is callous, sadistic greed. That's why America's army of prisoners are the source of so many of the most beautiful and exciting forms of innovation seen today:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/09/king-rat/#mother-of-invention
Despite harsh legal penalties and the vast resources of HP, third-party ink continues to thrive, and every time HP figures out how to block one technique, three even cooler ones pop up.
Last week, Jay Summet published a video tearing down a third-party ink cartridge compatible with an HP 61XL:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ya184uaTE
The third-party cartridge has what appears to be a genuine HP security chip, but it is overlaid with a paper-thin, flexible, adhesive-backed circuit board that is skinny enough that the cartridge still fits in an HP printer.
This flexible circuit board has its own little microchip. Summet theorizes that it is designed to pass the "are you a real HP cartridge" challenge pass to the security chip, but to block the followup "are you empty or full?" message. When the printer issues that challenge, the "man in the middle" chip answers, "Oh, I'm definitely full."
In their writeup, Hackaday identifies the chip as "a single IC in a QFN package." This is just so clever and delightful:
https://hackaday.com/2024/09/28/man-in-the-middle-pcb-unlocks-hp-ink-cartridges/
Hackaday also notes that HP CEO Enrique J Lores recently threatened to brick any printer discovered to be using third-party ink:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/
As William Gibson famously quipped, "the future is here, it's just not evenly distributed." As our enshittification-rich environment drives more and more companies to evolve into rent-seeking enterprises through printerinisation, HP offers us a glimpse of the horrors of the late enshittocene.
It's just as Orwell prophesied: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a HP installing malware on your printer to force you to spend $10,000/gallon on ink – forever."
Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/30/life-finds-a-way/#ink-stained-wretches
Image: Jay Summet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ya184uaTE
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CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫
Send a character + one or more of these question IN THE INBOX. Don't reply on the post!
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
6. What's something you have in common with this character?
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
10. Could you be best friends with this character?
11. Would you date this character?
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?
17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?
23. Favorite picture of this character?
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
26. What's something the character has done you can't get over? Be it something funny, bad, good, serious, whatever?
27. FREEBIE QUESTION!!
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dark chocolate cherry
i want to bring you flowers from the mountains, bluebells, dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses. i want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.
or; your boyfriend shows up when you just want some alone time [3.2k]
jason todd x fem!reader; reader gets her period and describes painful symptoms; just fluff; jason "words don't come easy so here's acts of service" todd this is earlier in the relationship which is why he's still a little shy but she knows he's red hood? idk man. i was just going with it; can you guess what inspired this? (everything is awful)
The day started at 2 AM when you woke to shooting pains in your abdomen and blood everywhere. It continued until 2:45 while you cleaned yourself, changed clothes, put on a fresh pad, took some painkillers, and changed the sheets. It paused for about an hour until you woke up again at 4:00, courtesy of Gotham’s patented night-life that had taught you to completely tune out the sound of police sirens. Tonight, however, they weren’t tuning out.
The sirens quieted at 4:10, by which angry tears collected in the corners of your eyes as you flopped around in bed in an attempt to get comfortable. No matter what you did, there was always something wrong; the pillow was too hard, the blanket was too scratchy, the position hurt your arm.
From 4:11 to 4:12, you screamed into your pillow.
By 4:15 you had settled in front of the TV with a bowl of dry cereal (it took everything in you not to cry over the lack of milk in your fridge), a heating pad, and your favorite comfort show queued up.
At 8 AM you managed to drag yourself to work, where you half-assed the day’s tasks, took a 15-minute break to cry in your car, then dipped out a half-hour early.
Now, at 5 PM on a Friday evening, you’re curled into the fetal position in front of your TV with your comfort show resumed and your trusty heating pad cranked to the highest setting. Prepared to spend the entire night here, you already changed into pajamas and kept a couple blankets within reach. Your phone buzzes on the coffee table, and you stretch to reach it, careful not to lose your comfortable position or roll off the couch.
Jason About to leave Be there in 20
You groan out loud. You want to throw your phone across the room, but decide against it because no amount of hormones from hell are worth six hundred dollars. You’re still angry, though, for being so stupid as to forget about the date you had planned for tonight. Scrolling up to earlier messages, you see another text from today wishing you a good morning and telling you he was excited to see you tonight. But, too down to bother checking any messages today, you had missed it.
You I can’t tonight anymore I’m sorry I don’t feel great
After hitting send, you place your phone on the ground, not even having the energy to reach for the coffee table again. Or the energy to lift your arm back up, apparently, given how it hangs limply over the edge of the couch. You feel guilty about cancelling, but you are in no state to go out tonight. You’re used to the symptoms of your period hitting so hard. As much as you and Jason care about each other, you’re not sure you’re ready for him to see you like this. You’ve managed to plan your relationship around your hormone cycle so far, but today it came early.
Your phone’s buzzing is muffled by the rug, and you almost don’t hear it. Jason’s photo is displayed on the screen.
Your hanging hand clicks ‘answer’ and puts it on speaker so you can take the call without moving from how you're curled up.
“Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m fine, I just don’t feel up for going out tonight. I’d rather stay home.”
“Did something happen?”
“No, I just got my period so I’m not really in the mood.”
“Okay, we can stay in tonight. What do you feel like eating? I can pick something up.”
“No, Jason…I want to stay home alone tonight.”
There’s a beat of silence on the other end of the line.
“Okay…did I do something?” His voice comes out a little smaller.
“No, you’re fine, I promise. I just don’t feel like seeing anyone right now.”
“…Not even me?”
Your hand presses against your temples to soothe the building tension headache. The self-doubt in his tone brings the anguish of the entire day bubbling up your throat. You feel like the worst person in the world. Exactly how you don’t want him to see you.
“Jason…it’s not you. I just…I feel like shit right now, honestly. Everything hurts, I’m miserable and sad and angry at everything, I’m breaking out all over.” You feel yourself welling up at all these little stresses coming out. “I’m craving everything but feel too sick to eat anything…I feel pretty disgusting right now, and frankly, I don’t want you to see me like this.” You finish your rant with a sniffle. You wipe your nose, trying to hold back the sob that’s threatening to break through. But at his silence, your worst, most improbable fears claw their way to the surface: he hates you now. You scared him away. You exhale heavily into your sleeve as more tears spill.
The phone is quiet for a long moment. Then; “I could never find you disgusting,” he says, gently. “But if that’s what you want, then we’ll reschedule.”
“Thank you. And sorry.”
He speaks with a tone you can’t quite parse. “Don’t apologize. Just feel better.”
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It’s one hour after your phone call, and at the first knock, you know who it is. Who else could it be? With that soft, somewhat hesitant, one-knuckle rap on the door. Only one person knocks on your door like that.
“Jason, I told you not to come here,” you say a little more cutting than you intend to, but your back and shoulders feel like they’re about to snap under a phantom pressure and the frustration of your request being outright ignored leaves a burning bitterness that channels itself into a violent wrenching open of the door.
He jumps a little at the abruptness of your greeting. One look at your face and he visibly deflates.
“I’m sorry…I know you said not to come, but…” his gaze casts downward to his hands. You follow; he’s clutching a reusable grocery bag. Peeking out of the top is a gallon of Neapolitan ice cream. The ice cream carton’s condensation seeped through a small patch of the cloth bag and dripped onto the other items; a bushel of greens, among some other fruits and vegetables, as well as a parcel of brown paper that was fastened closed with a twine string. You return your gaze to his face.
“I think—” he cuts himself off, free hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. Then he drops his hand and sighs. “I’m sorry. This was a bad idea. You told me not to come here and I ignored you, but I thought…” he trails off, probably hoping you’ll say something so he can gauge your reaction.
You just stare at him.
He shifts his weight back and forth. His hand twitches.
“Okay, yeah, I’ll—”
Then, you burst into tears.
Jason’s eyes widen. He reaches out to touch you, then stops himself. “Oh, fuck, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, this was stupid. Please stop crying, I’m so sorry—” He’s panicked, trying to calm you down with apologies and soothing assurances that he will leave immediately and never go against your wishes again. All the while you stand in the doorway, blubbering like a toddler with a skinned knee, new tears forming faster than you can wipe the old ones away.
He once again raises a hand towards you, before it stutters, then clenches into a fist as if it takes all his strength to fight against the instinct to be close to you, fighting against the string that tethers him to you. He drags his hand down his face, then it falls back to his side.
“Okay, I—I’m leaving now. I’m leaving. Do you…want this?” He holds the bag out to you.
With it now in front of you, its further contents are visible. You manage to tamp down your tears enough to get a few words out.
“Did you—hic—buy me groceries?”
“Yeah…” There’s a wince in his tone, as if he’s only now realizing that his gesture is not translating as he intended.
You look back up at him with pursed lips and knitted brows, sniffling. Sure, the ice cream you can understand, but…you have no idea what to make of the rest.
The bag drops back to his side. “I figured…it’s just— it’s the stuff that you’re supposed to—” He strokes his palm over his mouth, eyes screwing shut for a moment. He huffs at himself, then continues. “I mean I’m sure you already know all of this, so maybe you already have all these things, and now I’m realizing how unnecessary all this was, and I shouldn’t have assumed—”
“Jason,” you say. Your upset has since been overshadowed by something else, though you can’t tell what it is. And your crying has stopped, but its lingering effects have you feeling congested and a little foggy. You’re half expecting this to be a fever dream that you’re moments away from waking up from in a cold sweat.
“—because obviously you know what helps you feel better much more than I do—”
“Jason.”
“And you— yeah?” His eyes are a little harried when they find yours again. But off your tired and still-confused look, he gets the message and collects himself.
“Right, yeah, I just thought that…maybe I could bring you some of the stuff with all those minerals that are supposed to help women when they’re…menstruating.” He briefly breaks eye contact at the end of his sentence, red rouge creeping up his neck.
You can’t help it; you start to giggle. You can’t remember the last time you heard a man use the term ‘menstruating’ in a non-medical context. And the fact that he’s so shy about it— upset as you may be (though not at him), there’s no denying how adorable your boyfriend is. His head shoots back to you as your laughter intensifies. He blushes harder.
“It’s not that funny,” he mutters.
You step away from the door, finally closing the space between you, and wrap your arms around his torso. Your head nestles into his chest. He gently drops the grocery bag on the ground and reciprocates your hug. He rests his chin on your head, which fits perfectly under his. Like two puzzle pieces clicking into place. You breathe him in.
“Sorry I’m such a mess,” you murmur into his shirt.
He breathes into your hair. “You have nothing to apologize for. And you’re not a mess.”
You look up, chin resting in the space between his collarbones. He looks down at you with a small smile, but some wariness is still etched into his features. Fear of unwittingly upsetting you again. He brings up a hand to push some hair out of your face and tuck it behind your ear. His hand remains there, toying with the hair that falls below your shoulder.
"Thank you for the food,” you whisper. The moment feels too intimate to speak any other way.
“I’m sorry for not listening to you. I just…” He imitates your quietness, like his admission is also too vulnerable to say loudly. “I really wanted to see you. And I hated the idea of you feeling bad about yourself, or being in pain. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Your eyes feel wet again. The first instinct is to hide your face, maybe press it to his chest once more. But, for some reason, you don’t. You want him to see you like this, messy and emotional and upset. You want him to see every part of you, and you want to see every part of him, the good and the bad.
“You didn’t.” A tear slips past the effort to keep it at bay. He shows no reaction to it, eyes never leaving yours, other than a quick swiping away with his thumb. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before. That’s why I was crying. Not because you showed up.”
“That doesn’t seem right. This is nothing. You deserve even more.”
With no words to fully, adequately communicate the blooming in your chest, you stand on your toes, reaching up to him for a kiss. But given his stature, your lips only reach his chin and brush over its underside.
At your quiet whine, he chuckles and leans down to meet you in the middle. The kiss is soft; filled with the innocence of fresh blossoms in the spring, and the sweetness of its borne fruit.
You pull away when a vicious cramp roots you back to the present. Your limps tighten around Jason with a groan.
“I need to go back inside. I’ve been away from my heating pad for too long.”
His shoulders sag when you step away from him. “Oh, um…do you still…want me to leave?”
With a simple exhale of humorous disbelief, you grasp his hand in yours and tug him to your front door. He’s like an excited puppy, eyes brightened and perking up as he grabs the grocery bag and happily trails after you.
He goes straight to the kitchen, pulling out a chair at the counter for you to settle into, then sets the bag on the counter. The ice cream carton has dampened most of the cloth by now, and likely the rest of its contents, but rather than attending to the groceries, his first action is retrieving your heating pad from where it rests on the couch. He unplugs it from the wall outlet and brings it to you. You curl up on the chair with it pressed flat against your lower stomach. It only takes a minute for the pressure in your hips to abate.
Then he moves to the groceries. The ice cream immediately goes in the freezer, and he unloads what’s remaining onto the counter, one by one, and you take note of each item. There’s spinach, carrots, apples, oranges, dark chocolate, some kind of meat wrapped in brown paper, and, strangely enough, an entire block of cheese.
You give him a quizzical look, picking it up to read the label. “You got me…cheddar cheese?”
He retrieves a cutting board and knife from its spot next to the sink, then takes the cheese from you. “Good for certain symptoms.” He slices open the plastic wrapping and cuts out some cubes with skilled efficiency. He does the same with an apple. “They all are,” he says, referring to his entire haul. He completes the makeshift charcuterie board with a couple squares of dark chocolate and slides it across the counter.
You look down at the cutting board, thinking about everything he’s done for you; everything you never even had to ask for. The words sit on your tongue, encaged by your clenched teeth; an admission that coils itself around your spine and squeezes tight, restricts your breathing and pumps your heart at thrice its speed. But you feel yourself welling up again, and the first bout of tears already exhausted you so much that all you can manage is, “I don’t know what to do with all this. I don’t have the energy to make anything good.”
But he just smiles and says, “That’s what I’m here for, honey. Can I make you something?”
You nod. He gets to work. The immediacy of his actions, how he takes no time to decide on a dish or find a recipe, makes you think his previously stated intentions of ‘just dropping this off’ were less genuine than he lead you to believe. Nevertheless, you munch on the snacks he laid out for you and watch him work. The cheese and apples are a surprisingly cohesive combination, the meshing of sweet crispiness and savory creaminess eliciting a contented sigh from you. You try to ignore the way Jason smirks in the corner of your periphery. The chocolate is incredible, yet unfamiliar. You read the label on the packaging: 80% Dark Chocolate with Cherry and Almond Filling. Even if you hadn’t tasted it yet, the quality of the packaging itself would have been enough to let you know that this chocolate is extremely high-quality. Like, special-order-from-Europe quality. Not stop-at-the-grocery-store-on-the-way-home quality.
“Where is this from? Did you buy this today?” You ask him through a mouthful of the rich, melting chocolate.
He doesn’t look up from the carrots he’s dicing. “Uh…no.”
Anyone else would attribute his avoidance of eye-contact to standard kitchen-knife caution. You are not anyone else. You could blindfold him, spin him around ten times, put a sharp knife in his hand, and he could still pull off a perfect julienne. You look closer. His cheeks are dusted with pink.
You let out a laugh. “Jason, you’re not embarrassed about liking fancy chocolate, are you?”
“No! Not at all,” he says, ceasing his chopping. He looks up, but not quite at you.
“Then?”
“‘Then’ what?” He asks.
“Then why are you being so shifty right now?” You try to catch his gaze.
“I’m not!” He defends. “It’s just chocolate! Do you like it? I’ll bring you more.” He’s stealthy with the way he avoids your eyes; you almost can’t notice how hard he’s trying not to make eye contact.
“Jason!” You reach across the counter, having to rise off the chair slightly, and take his face in your hands, making him look at you. When he does, he wears a sheepish smile.
“It’s…” His removes your hands from his face, holding them in his. He mumbles something, turning his head to the side. But you catch the tail end of it, a goading grin already creeping up your face.
“What was that?” You tilt your ear towards him, exaggerating the action.
“It’s Bruce’s.” He, in turn, exaggerates the enunciation, rolling his eyes at your simpering. “I…found it. In his pantry one day. And I liked it, so I took it. And then I…kept taking it. Every time I visited.”
You pout teasingly. “And you’re ashamed to admit that you think he has good taste in something?”
He doesn’t say anything, only hiding his face in his shoulder. You pull on your intertwined hands and he gets the message, skirting around the kitchen counter to come closer.
“You are so adorable, you know that?” You say. You reach up and pinch his cheeks. He swats your hands away, but there’s no mistaking his broad, childish grin for anything but affection.
He breaks off another square from the chocolate bar and holds it to your lips. You bite off a small portion, then push it back to him. He takes the remaining piece in his mouth and his eyes close for a brief moment as he savors the sweet, tart, and nutty flavors. You simply watch, entranced by him. Then, he kisses you. You lean into it, hands sliding up his shirt to grip the fabric and bring him even closer. His hold finds your waist.
He tastes like cherries and dark chocolate.
He breaks the kiss to rest his forehead on yours, and you want to tell him that. That, and so much more. But from the look on his face, the way his eyes find yours and the tips of his ears have a similar heat to the one in your chest, you can tell he already knows.
when it comes to jason's post-pit-repressed-teenager characterization (aka despite being older he's still as inexperienced and confused and insecure about the world outside of vigilantism and w/ women as a 15 y/o would be) (aka my favorite characterization tee hee), i think that he's mature about periods, knows they're normal and not gross or shameful etc, but still gets shy about saying the actual word, for no other reason than the 'shy around women' part always makes me giggle
also bruce is keeping the chocolate stocked specifically because he knows jason likes it and will keep taking it because he loves his son even if his son doesn't love him (he does he's just in his angsty teen 'i hate this family you don't understand me' phase rn)
divider is from here
quote at the beginning is pablo neruda <3
#more of my jason todd domesticity agenda#batman#red hood#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#batfamily#dc universe#dc comics#dcu#dc robin#robin#dick grayson#bruce wayne#damian wayne#tim drake#nightwing#red robin#red hood x reader#batfam#robin jason todd
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𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you overhear a couple of spider-people talking about you and miguel
ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: inspired by a scene of a drama i saw in tiktok at 11:30 pm whoops here’s a small scenario while i work on that hiding pregnancy with miguel fic
part 2
You hummed to yourself as you walked towards Miguel’s room. You were so excited to talk to him about how your days went and if you were lucky, maybe you’d get to hear how his day went as well. It wasn’t like he doesn’t talk about himself, of course he does, you two were practically the bestest of friends now. It’s just that nowadays, he seemed more stressed and preferred to listen to you talk. Or at least you hoped so. He never really complained each time you rambled his ears off (which was like 83790134 times a day oops).
But a mention of your name in a hushed conversation stops your tracks.
“... [Name] is pretty close to Miguel, huh?” the conversation was actually a bit far from where you stood but thanks to your extreme superhearing, you were able to hear what they were talking about. You tilted your head. I wonder why they’re talking about me…
“Nah, I don’t think so. Miguel doesn’t even seem to like them.” You grumbled under your breath. That’s just what it looked like to others. They didn’t know that you know Miguel’s favourite empanadas are the ones sold by a Mexican granny on a stand right around the corner outside the building. They didn’t know that Miguel actually remembers what you say to him and even reacts to your stories. If that isn’t what you call friends in their natural behaviour, you don’t know what to call it.
“Yeah, it’s probably because they never stop talking. Their mouth just never know how to close for at least 10 minutes.”
“Miguel is probably annoyed at them. I wonder how he manages to keep his patience from running out with them.”
You bit your lip. Yeah, they were right…You admit that you talk a lot and you do feel a bit bad about it. But your friends haven’t told you to stop talking or that you were bothering them yet so you thought it was fine with them. If your friends said something about it, you would definitely stop and try to talk less for them. You were sure your friends would say something if they were uncomfortable, especially Miguel. You believe in them and you believe in him.
“I know right! If I was him, I would…” so you took a step forward and continued to walk towards your destination. Only this time, you weren’t humming.
.
.
.
“Hi, Miguel! Good afternoon! Such a lovely day, isn’t it?” you quirked up immediately as soon as you stepped foot into his office. As usual, he was on top of his floating station. Most of the time, he worked on planning and storing files with Lyla about which planets had been reported with anomalies. Sometimes, he watched videos of his daughter Gabriella and himself despite having already seen them countless times.
Miguel was lonely. You could see that. Sure, he had Jess and Hobie and Peter, but Jess was pregnant, Hobie was busy fighting against the government and being cool, and Peter had Mayday. You try your best to be with him because maybe he would feel less lonely with you around for him. Maybe he would be distracted by whatever you say from his exhaustion and his pain.
You swung yourself and landed on his platform. He was standing with multiple yellow screens hovered almost around him. His hands were on his waist and there was a glare on his face as he stared at it. He gave you a brief glance before turning his attention back to his work. Well, looks like today is a busy work day for him, huh.
“Hey booo,” Lyla appeared in front of you and waved. You grinned at her. “Hey, Lyla! What’s up?”
“Ugh nothing much, except for Mr. O’hara on his red flood apparently.” She leaned and covered the side of her lips to whisper but it was no use to the said person with his abilities.
“I heard that.” His exasperated response was instant but he didn’t look away from the screen.
“Really? You did?” She asked with a higher and tightened voice with amusement. She then flashed a quick message to you.
Miguel has been working even after you left three days ago. He wouldn’t take a rest no matter how many times I told him.
What? You looked at the back of his head in alarm. Worry immediately settled in your head and you furrowed your brows. Before you could convince him to stop, Lyla quickly made the message disappear and announced, “Oops, my power is running low. Gotta charge them now, byeeee.”
“I literally just checked your levels yesterday. Come back here—” he was cut off by her disappearing form.
He groaned and in his frustration, he swapped away the nearby items on the table. Most of them were papers but unfortunately, he didn’t notice he also swept away the teddy bear that you gifted him. It was similar to one Gabriella had and you knew this from the videos you watched with him. You thought how nice it would be to have at least a physical reminder of your love and not just ones you can see and hear.
“I’ll get it, don’t worry!”
From his strength, the bear was flung high and without even thinking you walked backwards as you focused on its direction. You were being stupid because you forgot that you were on top of a floating platform and the floor wasn’t endless. The bear was almost near within your reach and with just one more step, you would be able to get it.
That one more step didn’t step on any solid floor but instead on air and so, you fell but not without the teddy bear in your hands.
“[Name]!” Miguel shouted and you looked at him and finally, he was looking at you now. He ran at your falling figure with arms reaching out to you and for a second, you thought there was a tinge of panic and desperation laced in his hoarse voice and wide eyes.
Sticky web was shot at your chest and you were quickly pulled towards him. You were hit against his figure and he caught you in his arms. You stilled and flushed, your ear was pressed against his chest and you could hear his roaring heart that beat so fast. He immediately shook you by your shoulders and yelled at you. “What were you thinking? Why weren’t you looking?”
“I mean, I was trying to catch it—” you flinched.
“Are you stupid? ¿y si te lastimas?” his nails were digging into your skin and his grip was beginning to hurt. You tried to laugh but came it off weakly.
“I just don’t want to see my gift get dirty. Besides, I’m fine—,” you tried to joke, hoping it would ease the tension and calm him down.
“Just shut up! Shut up!” he pushed you away with a growl, “Stop being so fucking reckless. I could have done it by myself. Stop annoying other people by doing stupid shit like this!”
He was breathing heavily, anger so deep in his eyes. Your eyes were wide and tears threatened to fall as you listened until it finally fell once he said his final word. Maybe the realization had finally settled in Miguel’s mind at what he had just said. His eyes widened in panic and reached out to you but you took a step back.
Your head hung low as you let his words sink in. Annoying? You couldn't even laugh bitterly like you usually do in situations like this. They were right. You were annoying him. You bit your lip. Had you been a bother to him all this time? How come Miguel never said anything?
Suddenly, his cold indifference to you was so clear and obvious now. Memories of him visibly annoyed with a frown flashed through your head. The sudden awareness made your head hurt and it burned your heart. It throbbed with a pang and you felt incapable of breathing, the pain overwhelming.
No, Miguel wasn't responsible for telling you this. You should've known better, you called yourself his “bestest friend”. You shouldn't have talked to him. You shouldn't have approached him in the first place.
You were annoying. You were a nuisance. You were a problem.
Stupid. Stupidstupidstupidstupid—
“[Name], I,” he sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean—”
“No, it's fine,” you wiped your tears and pressed the teddy bear you gifted him and wanted to catch for him. You wonder if this bear was also a bother for him. Maybe it was. Everything related to you is irritating. You were tiresome. “I should be the one to say that. I’m sorry.”
“I need to go now. I’m really sorry, again.” With a brief glance at him, you immediately turned around and swung down. You almost ran as you made your exit from his office. You did the know where exactly to go, only anywhere without him and far away from him. Strength had left you once you were outside his office and you walked and walked and walked.
Maybe if you left, nobody would find you annoying anymore.
#blue writes! ✧˖*°࿐#spiderverse 2#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#spiderman 2099#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#atsv angst
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