#1. be a thicc bitch

[isdalinarhot]

Sometimes when I’m feeling certified unlovable I’m like pick your head up king 💕 Sadeas would be really really into you 💕 girl being extremely fuckable to Sadeas is not a good thing!!!!!!‼︎

[yourlocalfairygothparent]

Bi-Han is the Miguel O’Hara of Mortal Kombat

[mochinek0]

Looking Back (Part 1)

Adrien couldn't help but look at Marinette across the room. The only thing that bothered him so much was that she was there with her husband, Damian Wayne. He saw the smile he missed; saw her laughing with friends. He could see how close she was to him, every time she turned and looked at him to continue the story.

"How did you meet your husband, Marinette?"

"Yeah he doesn't look familiar."

"Did he go to school with us; I feel like I would have remembered him."

"Uncle Jagged took me on tour when I graduated, half way through the year, and I met Damian during one of the stops." Marinette answered.

Adrien looked away and noticed his friends were uncomfortable. Some people, those closest to Mari, stopped listening to Lila. Kitty Section had launched to stardom with their amazing clothes, lyrics and Jagged Stones backing. The others…..'Did I do the right thing?' was running across their minds.

"Hey, let's get out of here for a bit." Kim spoke, "I need a drink.

"Alya nodded, "It's….unnerving, right now."

"I don't know." Nino declared.

"It'll only be for an hour." Kim sighed, "There's a place to drink a block away. We can walk over and back."

"We can take my car." Adrien smiled, "I'll probably only have one drink."

Outnumbered, Nino groaned, "I'll drive us back."

After a quick round up, they left to a near by bar.

"This isn't how I expected this reunion to go!" Alya whined, "I thought Marinette would be miserable and we would be telling her, 'You should have be nicer to Lila'. Why is her life; her friends' life, better than ours?"

"Odine broke up with me two months after she found out that I had pulled a prank on Marinette when we were twelve." Kim sighed, "She never got over it. She said I was heartless and a monster to do that to a girl. She said she would be terrified of having daughters with me. I wasn't even thinking that far ahead."

"Looks like you are now." Nathaniel stated.

"I- She was the first girl to confess to me and our dates weren't horrible!" Kim retorted.

Alix chuckled, "Thought that was Marinette."

The former swimmer growled, "Shut up! It's not my fault that girls only want some slim-fit guy!"

"Mylene and Ivan are married." Nino pointed out, "Neither of them are 'slim-fit'."

"That's right!" Alya shouted, "You're blaming us, but guys only want model types. Where's the love for curvy girls, huh? Show me thicc love, dammit!"

"I don't know." Kim spoke, "Where did it go, Nino?"

The DJ rolled his eyes, "It was a mutual break up. We had conflicting schedules and barely had time to talk to each other. It was a ten minute talk at most and then class or sleep. Even now, most dates I've had have been coffee because I'm tired after a gig."

Nino realized his best friend had been quiet so far. He was sure he would have defended himself when his long-time ex brought up models. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted five shot glasses.

"Hey, Dude, are you okay?" Nino questioned, "You ususally don't drink this much."

Adrien turned to Nino and pouted, "I should have married Marinette."

The model didn't expect the table to erupt in laughter.

"Nice one, Dude." Nino smiled, "I understand you want to be included."

"I'm serious!" Adrien whined.

"Dude, if you really feel that way, you only have yourself to blame." his best friend stated.

"Huh?" Adrien replied, confused.

"You were the blindest idiot, as a teen." Alix cackled.

Alya rolled her eyes, "Mari was head over heels for you. It's why she bullied Lila, duh."

Adrien tried to shake off the alcohol, "Bullied Lila?"

Alya took another sip, "You know because you and Lila were dating."

"I would never date that Bitch!" the model shouted.

Everyone froze and looked at him.

"What?" Kim questioned.

"I never dated Lila." the Agreste heir snarled, "I would have never-She's not my type. Fuck, I would never date a model, period. I have always hated modeling; both Chloe and Mari knew that. I did it to get my father's attention."

Everyone looked at each other as the web of lies began to untangle in front of them. After all these years, the thread had begun to snap.

"You all thought Mari was bullying Lila because she liked me?" Adrien continued to rant, "You forget she helped me get with Kagami. Kagami even told me she tried to get us back together. Hell, 'Gami had a crush on her, but ended up with Felix instead. She still says that if Mari suddenly wanted to get together, she'd drop Felix."

No one knew what to say. Everything they thought they knew, that kept them as friends was slowly coming undone. They had been 'Team Lila' for the longest time and now….what were they? Adrien never dated Lila. Adrien said he would never date her. He believed Marinette wouldn’t bully Lila simply because Lila had feelings for him because Marinette helped him get a girlfriend. If that was all true, why did Lila say they dated? Why did she say Marinette bullied her? As if a distant echo, they recalled Marinette calling their friend a liar. Had Lila really lied to them all this time?

Kim let out a loud belch, "Like we believe that." his speech slurring.

"You're saying I'm lying?" Adrien questioned.

Mr. 'Just A Friend' had feelings for her?" Kim answered, "Yeah, right."

"Mr. what?" Adrien asked.

"It's your catchphrase." the former swimmer laughed, "I'm sure you all remember. 'Who, Marinette? No! She's just a friend. She's a good friend. She's a great friend. You'll like her once you get to know her and be friends with her. She's an amazing friend'."

Alix yawned, getting bored of the dying party, "You had 'FRIENDZONE' tattooed on your forehead."

Alya relaxed. She had been so close to believeing that she had betrayed the wrong person, but Adrien having feelings for Marinette was laughable at this point.

"Marinette obviously got tired of hearing how much of a 'friend' she was to you." Alya declared, "The shit I had to listen to when we were friends! How 'dreamy' you looked. The names of you imaginary kids! You two gettign a hamster."

"She found someone better." Alix shrugged, "He's taller and looks strong as hell. The only things you share in common are green eyes and wealthy families."

"Gold digging, Bitch." Alya snarled.

"I thought that, too." Alix admitted, "From what Juleka tells me, Marinette makes more than Adrien alone on her fashion commissions. That's without using her muscle hubby or his family name. Rose said that not even Luka compares. Kitty Section went with them to the Caribbean and …muscles and scars. Said Mari couldn't keep her eyes of him and they barely saw her after that."

"Demon God." muttered Nathaniel.

"Demon God?" questioned Nino.

"His brothers call him 'Demon Spawn', but he's chiseled like the sexy Lucifer marble statues that the church said no to." Nathaniel groaned, "I should have taken my chance, too."

Nino glanced at Adrien and saw him tearing up.

'Shit.'

"Okay, I think we get the idea." the DJ stated, trying to change the subject.

"Alya's right. We tried to get them together so many times, but he always thought they were 'friendly outings' even though eveyone had a date." Kim continued.

Nathaniel took another shot, "Imagine getting kissed by the most popular girl at school and thinking she was 'just being nice'."

"Lila?" Alya replied, "I thought-"

"Lila was popular in class, only." Nathaniel answered, "Marinette was popular all over school. The true 'Queen' of the school."

Adrien quickly stood up, scraping his chair against the floor, and rushed out. Nino quickly rushed out after him.

"What's his problem?" Kim asked.

Alya's eyes trailed after Nino's back before she took another drink and turned back to the group.

Nino quickly spotted Adrien's car. He slowly approached it and found him sobbing in the passenger's seat.

'At least he didn't think he could drive.'

Nino walked around and sat in the driver's side. He simply patted his friend's back.

"Did-Is what Kim said true?" Adrien asked.

Nino unintentionally paused his hand's movements, trying to decide what would be best.

"Nino!" Adrien shouted, "You're my best friend! Is what-"

"Yes." he answered.

He could feel the weight of Adrien's gaze on him.

"We did try setting you up with Marinette." Nino spoke, calmly, "Everyone in the school could see she liked you. I don’t know when she stopped; we truly believed that she was mean to Lila because Lila was with you."

"Not in a million years." Adrien replied.

"You sure?" Nino asked, looking at his friend.

"Not even if it brought my mother back." Adrien growled, "I can't stand her."

Nino started the car as Adrien sunk into his seat. They drove in silence, but he faintly heard the model's sniffles. He knew Adrien might not possibly remember the night and he didn't want to say anything that was too damaging. It was a conversation for another time…if there ever was.

Adrien thanked Nino as they got out of the car and he took the keys form him, "She looked happy tonight, didn't she? Her smiles were always the brightest."

Nino watched as tears fell down his friend's cheeks. Adrien quickly turned and went inside. Nino sighed and took out his phone.

"Yo, Max. I need a ride." he spoke, "Got a minute to spare?"

[saturngalore]

saturngalore's resources ☆

last updated: 03/08/2023

this cc list is heavily black and fat-centered <3

fat body presets

hi-land (there's a ton so imma list my favs)

bounce body preset

daddy preset pack

wap body preset

dive body preset

royl body preset

love to love you body preset

like that bitch body preset

honey body preset

sweet body preset

screaminsnail

medium plus unisex body preset

so sweet/just another beauty queen/night lady body presets

size matters xtra large body preset

more femme body presets

big beautiful women body presets

puffy body preset

masc body presets

give me curves body preset

more to love body presets

face presets

kashisun (amazing ethnic noses!!)

masc noses: set 1, set 2

femme noses: set 1, set 2

sammi-xox (she has amazing skinblends and more lip presets!)

lip presets: set 1, set 2, set 3, set 4

sliders

teanmoon mouth slider

belly slider

thicc king and queen sliders

chubby cheeks and cheekbone slider

enhanced butt sliders

default nose slider

expanded nose width slider

breast separation slider

waist and hip slider

body sliders for days

height and hip shape slider

experimental presets and sliders

big boobs?? masc chest slider

skin details and overlays

kismetsims skin details

belly overlays

stretch marks

camilla belly overlay

amanda and adam overlay

luumia body hair (fuck ea)

hairs

sheabuttyr (must-haves for black maxis match hair)

twists collection

braids collection

afro collection

ebonixsims

simtric

qicc

naturally curly collection

blissful braids and locs collection

cas mods

remove ea lashes

17 cas backgrounds

(note: suggestions and recommendations for more fat-inclusive and black cc are welcomed! some of the sliders may or may not work due to not being updated in a long time by their creators. sorry! hopefully this list still helps you make better fat sims!)

[olderthannetfic]

Fandom: "Oh maah Gaaaaawd look at that MILF/DILF character! 👅👅👅👅👅" The "Milf/Dilf" in question: 20 yo with a kid. Honey, that's not a fucking M/DILF, that's a dude/chick with baggage.

Ok kinda joking, but seriously, if you say "Milf/Dilf" I actually expect someone who's 1) Older, at least 35-40+ 2) Their kid is older, maybe pre-teen, 10-12 at the least.

It's the same shit that happened to "thicc".

"Look at that thicc hottie!" The "thicc" hottie in question: 📍📏✏ (pin/ruler/pencil) Thiccness level: error thicc not found error Also, always a fucking gach game character, Hello fucking Genshin you twinkie ass bitch.

--

People can twist words how they like, but to me, a MILF will always be like Stifler's Mom. 35? Puh-lease. If they aren't 50 and used-looking, they don't count.

[filthypen]

The world really isn’t fair.

I mean picture this out : your class get send on a huge summer trip at jaberwork island.

3 of the hottest girls everyone has a crush on chiaki mikan and Sonia all share the deluxe premium ++ cottage with nagito.

All of them somehow have a issue with their luggage and end up having no clothes, so they must use some provided by locals and say locals are mega pervs, meaning the less lewd stuff they’ll wear are slingshot bikinis.

They all share the same bed.

They’re all size queen and nagito’s cock seem to be unable to be shorter than 10 foot lately.

''Hahaha, come on, i am sure the others have better stuff than these three cum hungry bitches! I am just a no good lucker haha~'' Nagito said calmly, as under his MEGA FAT FUCKBOY 15FT LONG COCK, Chiaki, Mikan and Sonia, all of them slobbering on his FAT NASTY TITANIC BALLS~

''Come on, tomorrow your clothes are here, is just 8 hours to wait~'' He said, as he put a timer

Hours 1 to 4 were 'easy' for the girls, Mikan just had to use her GINORMOUS DOUBLE G'S to paizuri him, even if her tits had no chance and she was apologising every few seconds~. Sonia had to make sure of her TRUCKSIZED DUMPTRUNK ROYAL ASS to twerk on that monster cock, Nagito didn't expected that Sonia was a TWERK RETARD SLUT that went for 20 claps… per seconds! Her ass and his cock were red hot from so many friction~ And Chiaki just had to SUCK HIS HORSECOCK IN THE MOST SLOPPY WAY POSSIBLE, so she did, half-sleep~ Tons of saliva splatered all around as she went from tip to base in seconds, that mouth and lips can handle a lot~

Hours 5 and 6 were the 'calm before the (cum)storm', were the girls take turns on giving Nagito a 20 MINUTE LONG SLOPPY FRENCH KISS, and LOTS of tongue play with their extended tongues~ Meanwhile Nagito was with one of them, the other had to put a lipstick (Mikan neon pink, Chiaki neon blue and Sonia shiny GOLD~) and WORSHIP HIS GODLY CUMTANKS, making sure to leave as many lipstick marks as possible~ (Notes from Nagito: ''Mikan is the best kisser by far, so desperate… yet so… HOPEFUL!~ And Sonia really knows how to worship, i guess she is used after all that… work in the palace in Novoselic~)

Hours 7 and 8, Nagito went on a frenzy, bent the girls and STARTED MATING PRESSING THEM HARDER THAN A HORSE, the moans filled the room and wentt all over the fucking island, every few seconds he swapped of girl, so fast it didn't left the girls to take a break. After 1 hour and 45 minutes, the sun of the morning was creeping into the musk, saliva stained room, as he pulled out of Chiaki, put the three girls together and, after a loud churning noise and Nagito saying ''S-SORRY! B-BUT I-I AM SO FULL OF HOPE, I NEED TO- NGHOOOOOO CUMMMMMMMMMM!~~~'' Nagito exploded a GIAGANTIC LOAD in the STUPID AHEGAOS OF THE SLUTS, then he just kept cuming, and cumming, and CUMMING UNTIL THE ROOM WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN LAYERS OF HIS ALPHA FUCKBOY HYPER THICC SPUNK, THE GIRLS FLOODED WITH CUM AND THE ROOM ITSELF FLOODING~

After 15 minutes of cumming… the room was now 70% just cum, creeping out from the door and windows, as Nagito layed on the cum-bed while cock slapping the three sluts, that they were too busy DRINKING CUM~

''Haaaaaaah…~ The hope that irradiate from these sluts is… so hot~~''

[ferrousoxyde]

rating crow emojis (ecrowjis)

i'm bored

apple:

5/10

anatomy is kinda funky, shading kinda weird on feathers. he isn't bad tho.

google noto:

a guy solid 6.5/10

not very crowy though

samsung:

3/10 lowkey looks uncanny and plastic

microsoft 3D

7/10 a goober. nice n purple

microsoft (regular)

6/10 not shoiny :(

whatsapp:

-1/10 WHAT THE FUCK

twitter oops sorry i mean x

9/10 its perfecto

obv shitter would get a bird right but theyre x now so -1 point for that

discord

15/10 ITS SO CUTE?!!!!!!!!!111111111111

facebook:

10/10

shading is perfect

not uncanny

i love

hueawi or whatever (tf is that)

5.5/10

shading is nice but looks too thicc

joypixels:

20/10

yes

thatthere is a Crow

serenityos(? wtf is that):

1/10 it looks like minecrap

toss face:

bitch only has one leg 0/10

noto emoji:

0/10 that is NOT A CROW

openmoji:

4/10

it looks like a heiroglyphic

emojipedia:

5/10

would be higher but the pixel bleed is ehhh

bye gang

[fishys-still-writing-smut]

(Maybe a bit too much complex ? You’ll tell me)

Kaede had enough~! Ever since kokichi somehow convinced tsumugi AND the headmaster that his new uniform should be a ultra lewd playboy bunny costumes that accentuates way too much his twink but ultra cute yet strong body, his immense boy butt, and his crotch! Not only that but he’s been bothering everyone! The number of spanks he gave to the other fat ass femboy (Shuichi) friend of Kaede that embarass him on a daily basis, the way he sometime gets behind Kaede and "hug" her pressing her (admitedly massive even if hidden behind a sweater) boobs, the time he mixt an aphrodisiac in everyone’s water just before an exam!… she will convince him to end his lewd pranks! … what the naive ultra thicc bimbo bod pianist didn’t realized was that 1) it was kokichi, a VERY good manipulator especially for airheads like Kaede 2) is lust is way bigger than that~

Basically they make a deal that he stops bothering everyone IF she hangs with him every day and "play" with him every night for a week~!

Basically a 7 day/step corruption, at the end Kaede is completely kokichi’s bimbo bitch, she gets sluttier as the corruption progress, and they do lewder and lewder acts.

I don’t remember but I Think NTR is one of your top stuff, so you can put some here BUT it has to end well, like Shuichi being also a fat ass ultra hung twink just way more submissive than kokichi, so under kokichi impulse and manipulation he joins at some point. (Or not)

If a 7 part corruption is too complicated for you you can tone it done to 5, 3, or heck even 1 and turning it into an instant lost if you’re not in the mood for that, it’s fine!

Warning: lewd content below

Day 0:

“So you gotta let him sleep in your room for a week?” Shuichi questioned his best friend as they were having breakfast together in his room. The pianist nodded, seemingly frustrated at the situation. “I mean hey, if it gets him to change out of the playboy bunny clothes can't be that bad, right?”

“Of course it's that bad! It's about the principal of the matter, Shuichi! That little bastard can't keep doing whatever the hell he wants. I swear, after these 7 days I'm putting in a notice for him to be suspended.” Kaede was fuming. Shuichi had never heard the blonde so angry before. He placed his hand on her shoulder to help calm her down, a gesture she seemed to appreciate as she began to smile. It was just one week, how bad could it be?

Day 1:

“So how was last night?” Shuichi questioned Kaede, who blushed at the mere mention of the night before.

“Ah well, y'know.” Kaede seemed embarrassed. “I think I was a little too harsh on him.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “I thought he was gonna prank me or do something weird to me, but no. All he did was sleep normally. In fact, I was being a jerk to him, making fun of his night terrors and all.”

“Night terrors?” Shuichi questioned. He never heard Kokichi bring up those before.

“Yeah, they're pretty bad. Normally he clings onto a big stuffed animal or something to help calm him down, but there wasn't anything like that in my room. So he just clung into me.” Shuichi was about to raise an objection, but Kaede cut him off before he could get the words out. “But he wasn't being mean! He didn't play any pranks or pull any cheap tricks. He just…hugged me tightly. It was…I dunno, nice I guess? Still don't like him, but it was refreshing to see a human side to him.”

 

“Maybe that's why he wanted to sleep in your room? To find a way to tell you.”

“Maybe.” Kaede thought, reflecting on last night. Until suddenly, her face became beet red as she remembered something else. “But uhh, the funniest thing happened while we were sleeping. Apparently, I need new pajamas, because the buttons totally busted while we were sleeping. So I woke up to find Kokichi motorboating my boobs, hahaha….” Kaede sheepishly recalled as both she and Shuichi felt the embarrassment.

“Y-yeah that's…certainly awkward.”

“Y-yup, what are the chances, right?”

Day 2:

Shuichi and Kaede ate breakfast together in silence. Normally there'd be a lively conversation between the two of them, but for some reason Kaede was dead silent. Shuichi, sensing something was wrong, tried to break the ice. 

“Soooo…how’s been sleeping with Koki-”

“I saw him jerk off yesterday.” 

“H-HUH?!?!” Shuichi nearly fell out of his chair upon hearing what she said. He grabbed his own seat as he stared at her with intensity. “What the hell are you saying?!?”

“I-it wasn't on purpose!” She defended. “I guess he just…forgot to lock the bathroom door. I-I only saw it for a second though. After that I ran to the bed and pretended nothing happened.” Shuichi sighed in relief, grateful his friend wasn't a complete degenerate. Kaede sighed as well, for an entirely different reason.

(Flashback)

“Nnnnnghhh!” 

“H-hey!” Kaede opened the bathroom door to find Kokichi jerking himself off. However, before she could reprimand him, he finished, shooting his thick semen which splashed directly into her pajamas, face, and of course, her bare tits that her broken pajamas failed to cover. 

“Don't blame me, I need to do this. My nightmares get reeeaaalllly bad if I don't empty my balls before bed.” Kokichi nonchalantly explained. Kaede merely humphed at his response, before her eyes widened. He still wasn't flaccid. Kokichi smirked. “Yeah, typically one nut doesn't do it for me. I need to go for a whiiiiile.” 

“T-that’s nice, but w-what am I going to do?” Kaede angrily complained, as her and her clothes were still soaked in Kokichi's cum.

“Go shower. Don't worry, I won't peek. I'll just be dealing with this before bed.” Kokichi spoke slyly. “Unless you want me to jerk off on your bed instead?”

Kaede balled her fists before stripping out of her now ruined clothes. Kokichi was going to pay for this. She stood naked in front of the boy, who stared at her while he jerked off. Something about him looking at her with such list driven eyes while touching his big…no! Not today.

Kaede practically ran into the shower and drew the curtains. She turned on the hot water and worked to scrub all of Kokichi off of her. She stared at his silhouette through the curtains. He kept true to his word and did not peek but…did his dick really need to be that big?

That night, a naked Kaede slept with Kokichi. He clung to her chest seemingly tighter than the night before. She huffed. He was so getting reported after the week was over. She just needed to remain pure until then.

Day 3:

“We're not going to eat together anymore?” Shuichi repeated dumbly, confused by Kaede's sudden change of heart. “Why? Not that I'm mad but, weren't you the one who wanted to eat in my room with me?” 

“I-its not you! It's just…Kokichi had methods to help him mitigate his nightmares and…he wants me to help him with them during the morning.” Kaede sheepishly admitted. “S-so I'll be doing that now. But only for the next few days! After that he gets suspended and we'll go back to normal.”

“Well, you're your own person so, can't really fault you for that. Just, try not to take him too seriously. He may have issues, but he's still a jackass at heart.” The boy swore uncharacteristically. Not that Shuichi disliked Kokichi (okay, he definitely did), but even he could see that something fishy was happening. Kaede nodded her head before digging back into her food. She ate with her hands, which was a fine but a little messy cause of the sauce-

Wait a minute.

“Kaede, there's something on your hands.” He pointed out while Kaede froze. “It seems like some type of…white liquid?” 

“A-ah! Yeah, that's just…white sauce from last night.”

“Last night!?! What on earth did you do then!?”

“W-well Kokichi asked me to jerk his…j-jerk his…jerk his bottle of white sauce! He was trying to have some last night and the bottle wasn't dispensing it, and I guess some got on me without realizing it.”

“Oh, okay. That makes sense.” Shuichi realized. I mean, there wasn't anything else that could be on her fingers, right? “Was the bottle broken or something?”

“N-no, it was just…really big. A lot bigger than you’d think. I mean I saw it before and I was like ‘wow’ but once it's in your hands it's even more like…‘wow!’. Can't believe he just has that. And it was so messy too. Like he could've been a gentleman and offered to clean me up but noooo. He even seemed to like it when it got on my face and chest. Ugh! He's the worst. He even got some in my mouth.”

“Did it taste good?”

“H-huh?!?”

“The white sauce.” Shuichi explained. “I heard some recipes even include things like eggplant or heavy cream depending on the purpose. So, was it good?” 

“O-oh, uhm. I-it was whatever I guess.” Kaede blushed, but Shuichi knew her for too long for her to hide things from him. He chuckled to himself. She definitely loved it. 

Day 4:

“Hey Kaede!” Shuichi called out to his friend in the hallway. Kaede jumped a bit, before quickly waving back at Shuichi. She pulled down the hem of her skirt as the boy ran up to her. 

“Hey Shuichi…how's it going?”

“Eh, the usual I guess. How about you? Kokichi any easier to manage?” 

“O-oh!” Kaede's expression changed when Shuichi brought up Kokichi's name. She rubbed her thighs against each other and blushed. She broke eye contact with Shuichi and stared at the ground, trying to recall…something. Her face grew even more red before she answered. “W-well to tell the truth he's been a bit…wild as of late. He's been keeping me up super later into the night with his…before bedtime habits. I get he has issues sleeping without it but…fuck.~”

“H-huh?” Shuichi gasped at Kaede's uncharacteristic swear/moan. Kaede clapped her mouth shut before responding.

“S-sorry, I've just been really tired as of late because of him. Don't even have control over myself anymore…hahaha.” Kaede's statement was more accurate than Shuichi or even herself could've known. But to quickly cut off a curious Shuichi, she removed herself from the conversation. “I need to go, Ko-i m-mean Ms. Kirigiri needs me for some help. Bye Shuichi!” 

“That was weird.” Shuichi spoke to himself as his friend ran off. “I get that she's tired, but who moans when they don't get enough sleep? Oh well, I mean, all ultimates are a bit eccentric so I guess it's not the weirdest thing that's happened here.” 

Day 5:

“Heeeeey Shumai!” Kokichi called out to Shuichi this time, as they were the only two in the dorm room lobby. They rarely speak, but for some reason, Kokichi is convinced that he and Shuichi “have a lot more in common than he knows.” 

“What's up Kokichi?”

“Noooothing much. Just looking to have some dude time. A true man to man talk. A bro-down hoedown. A slightly homo rodeo. A-”

“Just say what's on your mind.” Shuichi sighed, already exhausted before the conversation even began. 

“I'm just trying to act like dudes with you man. I feel like we lack that strong male bond between us. Talking about cars, screaming about sports, acting only a little gay in the locker room, bragging about not sex partners, the complete guy package.” 

“I don't want your package Kokichi.”

“Pffft, nonsense! You just haven't had proper guy time with me yet. Check this out~.” Kokichi shows a video of what looks like a blonde babe bent over, getting fucked by a shocking large cock. She was completely naked, aside from the pair of white panties pushed to the side of her phat jiggly ass. Her face wasn't visible, but a muffled voice could vaguely be made out, screaming Kokichi's name like a pornstar. 

“K-kokichi! Is…is this real?” Shuichi asked, curiosity and lust getting the better of him. 

“Of course it is! I really lucked out finding a girl like this. She was a little reluctant at first, but she ended up being a bonafide slut! I knew I picked right with her.”

“Who is she?” 

“Hey, Shuichi, if we're going to be bros that means you gotta respect the bro code. You can't ask me things like that.” Annoyingly Kokichi stood up with a cheeky grin. It was obvious from the start he only wanted to tease Shuichi using this information. “I'll see you later, Shumai! Let's have some more bro time later, okay?” 

Day 6:

“And then he says he was looking forward to spending more ‘bro time’ with me. Can you believe that?” Shuichi ranted about Kokichi to Kaede, who was busy looking under the desk for the pencil that she dropped at the start of class. He conveniently left out the part about the pornography he was shown, as he still had fantasies about that mysterious blonde woman.

“Ah, well, I don't think Master was in the wrong there.” 

“Huh?” 

“I said I don't think Kokichi was in the wrong there. She responded, not bothering to get up from looking. “I think you just need to be more open to him.”

“Yeah right, he's a complete- KAEDE!” Shuichi was caught off guard, nearly getting the two caught in the middle of class. For the first time he looked down to talk to Kaede, however while he did expect to find her still searching for her pencil, he never thought he'd see her bare ass! “W-where the hell are your panties?!?” 

“Oh, those. Kokichi and I were talking the other day, and he brought up the point on how tight my panties must feel, and told me to start going without them. And I feel much, much better. See.” Kaede stood up, and without a hint of shame, flicked up her skirt for Shuichi to get a face full of her phat ass. 

“K-Kaede. Put that down. He's just trying to trick you!” Shuichi pulled her skirt back down to normal, causing the pianist to pout.

“Trick me? Why would he do that? I think you're the one that’s tricked Shuichi. You don't understand why I love Master the way I do.”

“What on earth are you- wait….” Shuichi paused to think for a moment. The video, Kaede's attitude, Kokichi sleeping with her. It was technically possible, but did he really manage to-

His train of thought was cut off as Kaede scotched closer to him, rubbing his cock with her fingers as she whispered in his ear. “Master ordered me to take care of you, so he's willing to share his toys with you if you don't talk. What do you say, Shumai?~”

Day 7:

“GLUK GLUK GLUK”

“F-fuck.” Shuichi moaned as Kaede sucked his cock. She looked up at him with mini hearts in her eyes, her brain completely rotted by sex. Behind her, Kokichi spread her ass cheeks apart, sliding in his giant bitch corrupting cock inside of her. She moaned into Shuichi’s dick, sucking it even harder now that she was being fucked from behind. 

“I told you Shumai, you and I should definitely spend more time together. After all, we have so much in common~.” Immediately after his taunt, Kokichi and Shuichi came inside of Kaede, filling up their shared pocket slut together.

[arsonist-resurrectionist]

Update: I am still simping for Yung Gravy

okay so hear me out:

Warrant 1: he brought Addison Rae's mom to the VMAs, then when her husband(they're separate but still married) challenged him to a boxing match he was literally like "we're grown as adults, You have one of the most successful daughters in the world, and yet you insist on acting half your age and embarrassing her and your whole family. If we meet in public, don't do something stupid"

Warrant 2: he's collecting all the bras thrown at him at concerts and donating them to charity for the unhoused and matching their value monetarily in donation

Warrant 3: men with long hair that they take care of slap, like please be secure enough in your masculinity to wear your hair long if you like that vibe

Warrant 4: he looks great in a white three piece suit, which is arguably hard to pull off so gives him points

Warrant 5: He likes thicc bitches. I am a thicc bitch. I appreciate the representation in his videos and also it gives me a weird level of hope for an unreachable celebrity. Like oh you like ass? we call me family's ass The Zaharopolous Ass (all capitals) for a reason. You 'don't like your girls too slender'? I gotchu

Warrant 6: he dresses like a funny little man

Warrant 7: he's 6'6" and tall ppl make me feel both safe and incredibly angry which is a good combo

Warrant 8: he's not racist which is literally such a low bar, but like he's a white rapper, the bar is very low, though in his case it will need to high because he's so tall that otherwise he would have difficulty going under it (i am aware that sentence doesn't make sense but i am sleep deprived so i can get away with it i think)(maybe)

update (s):

Warrant 9: he’s good with kids, like when he offered to mentor the walmart yodeling kid

Warrant 10: his first cartoon crush was raven from the teen titans anime and honestly same bro, that girl was my entire childhood, like the chokehold she had in me was insane. So i’m conclusion he has good taste (this should just be a subpoint under 5, and be combined as a good taste point)

[aandvarchaeology]

How-To Presentation

Imagine this: It's the first year of university. You, a bright-eyed and bushy tailed freshman, riding on the high of having declared your major and successfully defending it in the face of well-meaning relatives ("Oh, I did Archaeology for a few semesters when I was at uni, before I came to my senses. Are you sure you don't want to be a business major? Or maybe pre-law, you were always so good at arguing - ") have just sat down in your very first seminar. The professor walks in, spends an hour going over the syllabus, and then announces that to pass the class, everyone will have to hold a 30 min presentation on a pre-determined topic. You can feel your stomach sinking somewhere below your knees. A cold chill grips you. You hate public speaking and the longest you've ever had to talk in front of the class in high school was 10 minutes. What do you do now??!

Well, you click on the read more.

Step 1: Don't panic. Let's get an overview of your topic and make a plan.

WHEN TO DO THIS: Same week as you got your presentation topic

First things first, as soon as you get your presentation topic and your deadline, even if that deadline is 8 weeks from now, IMMEDIATELY hop on your computer and get yourself some literature. There are some topics that are so well-researched and well-published you can walk into any library and immediately find 12 sources, and then there are topics that you have to special order books that went out of print in 1945 for. You do not know what kind of topic your topic is until you go to the library, and special ordering books takes time, sometimes A LOT of time. FINDING these books also takes a lot of time. So always make sure you HAVE the time to do this! A good starting point to have ist 2-5 books (depending on availability) with your presentation topic directly in the title.

If you have absolutely no idea whatsoever what your topic even IS, go to Wikipedia. DO NOT use Wikipedia as a source. You're going to read the article, find out what your topic is about, and then go to the list of sources at the bottom and get THOSE from the library. If you can't find anything other than those, or if your topic doesn't HAVE a Wikipedia article, go see your professor during their office hours. Do this NOW, not two weeks before the presentation. If your professor is sick, write them an e-mail NOW and go ask your TA. You need to make sure they can see you did your best to find stuff early on - if something goes wrong, profs are a lot more likely to give you extra credit or be extra nice with your grade if you have a paper trail proving you tried to resolve any issues you had early on. They won't be able to help you anymore two days before the presentation.

As soon as you have your 2-5 books, you sit down and just flip through them. Skim whatever catches your eye, look at pictures and graphs, read the table of contents. This is going to give you an idea on how much you actually have to stress about your research. Are all your books really old and super thin? Bad sign. Did you immediately find tons of books published in the last 10 years and those bitches THICC? You can probably relax a little. Then, as you're skimming, you're going to form a very rough idea what your topic is about. Things to look out for are:

How complex is your topic? The broader and less specific, the more research you're likely to have to do (example: If your topic is "The late middle ages", good luck. If your topic is "Burg Eltz during the late middle ages" you're going to have it a lot easier.)

What time period are you in? Always know your backround!

What is the state of research? Look out for things that should be there but aren't!

Is there some kind of controversy going on? Do some sources contradict each other?

Now you know a little bit about your topic, and can plan for the following things:

How many more sources are you going to need?

How long until you have those sources in your actual hands or on your actual computer?

How much research are you going to have to put into this?

Step 2: Initial research and structure

WHEN TO DO THIS: Within the week you got your hands on your sources.

If you've completed Step 1, your should have an initial list of sources. Pick the most general of those babies, turn to a relevant chapter, and get excerpting.

Q: How do I find the most general source?

A: The most general source is the one that goes into least detail while giving the broadest range of information. A good place to start are dictionary entries (make sure you're using a dictionary relevant to you subject, not the Encyclopedia Britannica...) or books with something like "introduction to..." or "overview of..." in the title. When in doubt, look at the table of contents!

If you're presenting to something very Basic™ at the beginning of your university career, your professor or TA will most likely have provided you with a list of "basic literature" for your course or subject. Look to these. If your topic is more complex, a good way to determine if a source is what you're looking for is reading the introduction chapter of your book and seeing if you recognise things you need.

Q: How do I indentify a relevant chapter?

A: Use your logic. If your presentation topic is late medieval castles, and your book covers castles of all time periods, you don't need the chapters talking about early- and high medieval castles, or post-medieval fortresses. DO NOT read the whole book. Skip everything you don't need. If you're reading a relevant chapter and the author starts talking about things you don't need to know, flip ahead until they do.

Q: What is excerpting?

A: This.

Image description in alt text.

You're going to write down the title of your source and you're immediately going to write that down in the citation style it has to be in for your presentation. Highlight it to make it easier to find later. Then you're going to write down all relevant information and the page number you found it on, and everything you're too lazy to summarize in your own words you're going to copy down directly in quotation marks. The quotation marks are important - you need to know when to say you're quoting someone directly in your presentation. I know this looks like a fuck ton of work, and it is. But it's going to do these things for you that make it absolutely worth it:

You're going to remember A LOT more of the information

You're going to be able to bring the book back to the library on time (pro tip: Also immediately scan relevant pictures)

You're going to be able to just copy-paste the already correctly cited title into your list of sources

When you're writing your presentation notes you're not going to have to flip through the whole book in search of the one bit of information you vaguely remember. You can just print out your document, highlight what you need, and have it there in one look.

In my experience, doing excerpts saves you about three to five days of work, spares you an unholy amount of frustration, and makes it A LOT easier to not accidentally plagiarize because you wrote down something and forgot it was a word-for-word quote.

As soon as you worked through your general source(s), you can structure your presentation. For Archaeology presentations, there is a general formula you can usually follow that looks roughly like this:

1. Introduction

2. Main Part: Your Topic Goes Here

2.1 History of research for your topic

2.2 General information: What time is your topic in, what are important monuments or finds, what is your topic exactly

2.3 All the information you have if your topic is very narrow (a certain type of pot, a single monument, whatever) or one or more examples if your topic is very broad (a prehistoric culture, a type of wide-spread monument, a time period)

3. Conclusion. This is the place to either summarize, bring in your own opinion, or go into detail about a controversy surrounding your topic

Find out how you want to structure your presentation (maybe this isn't the way to do it! Adjust to your topic!) and what examples you want to show. If this part is giving you trouble, e-mail your TA or your professor or visit them during office hourse. Again, do this IN TIME. The earlier, the better, AT LEAST two weeks before your presentation, better WAY before that.

If you find you need to special order sources from your library, now is the time to do that. If you're smart, you might want to make a list of all sources you can find that could be relevant to your topic while you're at it.

Step 3: The whole body of research

WHEN TO DO THIS: Depends on the length of your presentation and the complexity of your research. A minimum of 2 weeks before you have to present for a 25-30 min presentation. The busier your schedule, the more sources you have, and the longer your presentation should be, the earlier.

So, now that you know how you're going to structure your presentation, you know what you need to research and what to leave out. Go through your initial list of sources and determine if they are still relevant, now that you know what you're looking for. Identify what informations that you want to put in your presentation are missing from your sources, and find sources that are about them. If you were really smart you already did this after you structured your presentation and now just have to pick books out of a list.

As soon as you have your sources, work through them by excerpting just like you did with your overview literature. Do this from most to least relevant source, in case you misjudged your speed and have to leave out a source. Make sure to always note your page number and immediately copy out relevant graphics!

Step 4: Your presentation slides

WHEN TO DO THIS: The week before your presentation. If you don't want to spend a whole day on this start around 5-4 days before your deadline at the latest and do a few slides at a time.

If your prof gave you a guide for PowerPoint presentations - find that. Use that. Copy the structure of your presentation that you made in Step 2, add your pictures that you already copied out into your excerpting document, and cite them according to the style your professor wants them to be in. If you already did this in your excerpting document like I told you to, this should just be a matter of copy and paste. Don't forget to add your list of sources at the end!

This is also the step where we start thinking about time. A good rule of thumb is that you should have one slide in your presentation for every two minutes of talking. I like to add a few more, because I also always have a title slide, a structure slide, and a list of sources slide, and I don't spend 2 minutes on "Hello everybody, my topic is [x]!".

As soon as you have your slides in about the number you think you need, talk through your presentation OUT LOUD and time yourself. Just say what you remember. If you're more than 5 minutes under target, you need one more slide for every two minutes you're under. If you're more than 2-3 minutes over target, consider what information is actually important to your topic, and try again, leaving everything out everything not relevant, until you land within 2-3 minutes of your target time.

Step 5: Presentation notes and practicing

WHEN TO DO THIS: The day before your presentation at the latest, better 2-3 days before. Your brain is better at memorizing things if you're not stressed out of your mind!

Now that you're reasonably sure you're on your target, time wise, it's time to make your presentation notes. This is a matter of personal style, and you've got to figure out what works best for you. For me, I need a lot of visual cues, so I usually print out my presentations (or sketch the slides if my printer is acting up again) and add the information next to the slide it's on. I also like to add cues like "show structure x" in a different colour to remind myself to engage with my audience, like so:

Image description in alt text of first image.

But maybe this doesn't work for you! Maybe you like to write out your whole presentation word-for-word. Maybe you like note cards. Maybe you like to use the presentation mode on PowerPoint to add your notes directly into the document. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as it makes you feel safe presenting and you can reliably remember all your information.

Whatever method you use, make sure to write down all your information. In Step 4 we talked through what we remembered from our research. Now is the time to grab our excerpt documents and make sure all our information is factually correct and that you didn't leave out anything. This will usually add around 5 minutes to your speaking time.

When you have your presentation notes, you're gonna practice your presentation a few times. This is, again, a matter of personal style. Some people just need to read through it once, and they've got it down pat. If you're inexperienced in giving presentations, I recommend talking through your whole PowerPoint using your notes at least one or two times. If you want, you can use a mirror to also practice gestures, or memorize the whole text. No matter what you do, the goal is to automate a little bit. Your body remembers things it's practiced. If you talk through your presentation a few times, it'll be much easier to manage presentation anxiety, because you likely won't have a blackout in front of the class - you'll just go into autopilot and say exactly what you practiced.

Another important aspect of this step is, again, time. This is the time to really fine tune your landing. If you know you tend to talk a lot faster in front of an audience, practice so that you're 2-5 min over your target time. If you know you tend to talk a lot slower, pick a point about halfway through your presentation and memorize what minute you're supposed to be at when you reach it. Look at the clock occasionally during your presentation. If you reach your marker and it's later than its supposed to be, speed up. You can also practice talking faster.

And now all there is to do is present! Good luck - not that you need it, with your excellent preparation!

[royallyprincesslilly]

Sneak Peek of Upcoming Lew

Snippets of your next 2 Lewis treats.

1} Title: Curve Ball (Tweakable Title)

“Girl you lookin’ thicc as fuck!”

Your eyes widened at your best friend Majid. He sat on the barstool behind you with his legs crossed and his eyes glued to your body.

“Rice and peas ain’t miss her!”

“Rice and peas, jerk chicken, yams, mac and cheese, all-a it!”

You spun to him and narrowed your eyes. “You tryna say I’m fat!?”

“If by fat you mean Lewis has been putting in that work, work, work, work, work on that ass plumpin it up then yes!”

You hesitated for a minute then turned back around to the workout mirror you were currently doing squats in front of. The instructor that was mirrored in it had never stopped what they were doing, so you rushed to catch up.

“It’s not just your ass either. New bra?”

You stopped again and turned to Majid as you cupped your breasts. “N—no.”

He stood then and came to you but instead of stopping in front of you he circled you as he examined your figure. You would have cringed if you knew for a fact that you were batting for the same team. There was no part of you he was interested in.

“I know a thicc bitch when I see one. You were thicc before but now—you’re th-iii-ccc.” He emphasized the “c” in the word so exaggeratedly.

Your anxiety picked up then and you almost rolled your eyes. If your fists weren’t balled, you would have. You’d been battling anxiety on and off for the last three years. It had even gotten so bad that you’d religiously been on anti-anxiety meds for the last four years. According to your therapist, it was a process filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures. You remembered a time where it had gotten so bad that you couldn’t do much of anything. Lewis had to be with you damn near 24/7 because your anxiety brought on acute depression. There were times you were having random seizures multiple times a day and considered a danger to yourself.

Lewis the amazing partner and boyfriend he was shut his entire schedule down and became your rock. Remembering the care he took with you then brought tears to your eyes. Fighting them, you cleared your throat.

“I have been eating good lately,” you said.

“If Lewis is home, you’re always eating good. Lucky!”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

2} Title: §aŋↃtʯɱ

He’d noted around the six-month mark, the time where most of his relationships ended because of either him becoming bored of the person or bored of the situation, he’d yet to become bored at all. He still looked forward to hearing your voice every morning and seeing your face every night. He still got flutters in his stomach whenever you smiled at him. His heart still clenched and beat rapidly when you touched him. He still; dreamt of you every night and wanted to be around you even if you were staying home in sweats and a tank to watch yet another episode of some baking or cooking competition.

He scoffed reading your latest text exchange. A gentle smile played on his lips as his heart and worked in tandem with the butterflies in his gut. It was a reaction only you could elicit. He was madly, and probably hopelessly in love with you.

MSG Babygirl: What kind of surprise is it?

MSG: Curious aren’t we?

MSG Babygirl: Yes. Now tell me.

He snorted. You loved to get bossy, and he always found it fucking adorable because you knew who the real boss was. Still, it was fun to switch up and give you faux control.

MSG: Come again?

Almost a minute passed before your reply came through.

MSG Babygirl: I’m sorry my king.

His smirk widened as he sunk back in his seat at the back of the cherry red Cadillac Escalade he was currently being driven in. He was glad to know that you hadn’t been away too long that you forgot the rules.

MSG: Wanna try that again?

MSG Babygirl: Please tell me, my king.

MSG: You’re just gonna have to wait and see. Consider it your punishment for getting mouthy.

He could imagine your face right now reading his words. You had the strongest rebellious streak he’d ever seen. You loved being bratty, loved pushing him to his limits, loved taming every fucking thing he gave. You thought he didn’t know but he did, you always pushed the limit because you secretly liked the same nasty and taboo shit he did. It was just another reason why you had him wrapped around your finger, but he’d never admit it to you. No fucking way.

MSG Babygirl: Fine. You just leave me with time to think of your punishment.

He chuckled at that rebellion in you he loved so much.

MSG: I see someone wants to not be able to sit or walk proper for the next two weeks.

He knew you loved that and were probably biting your bottom lip now just thinking about it.

MSG Babygirl: I just want to know how so I know how to dress.

MSG: I got you. All you have to do is land and come home babygirl. I got the rest.

You sent through a picture of your puckered lips blowing him a kiss and he his half sleeping cock lurched in his pants. The deep burgundy on your lips enticed him to imagine them wrapped around his length. He could imagine sliding the tip of his manhood around your lips as he painted them with his cum.

“We’ll be arriving soon, Mr. Hamilton.”

He groaned then adjusted his positioning in the bucket seat trying to give the now alert member more room. Now was not the time.

“Ehm, thank you.”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Do you have a fave?

Which do y'all want more?

Thoughts? 👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️

Also, who can make out the title for the 2nd one? 👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️

[ao3feed-larry]

Louis' Thicc Sexy Ass

by LouisThiccSexyGlitteryAss

It occurred to me that I'm the guy with a Louis Tomlinson's ass fan account and have never written anything dedicated to the holy dumptruck itself, which is why we're here.

Words: 1091, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: One Direction (Band), Louis Tomlinson's Ass

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson

Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Additional Tags: ass worship, Rimming, Face-Sitting, Top/Bottom Versatile Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, I'm obsessed with Louis' ass okay, leave me alone, I'm gay, I laughed at the title for ten minutes, happy pride bitches, ass biting, Mirror Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Sort Of, I'm Not Ashamed, Light Nipple Play, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Butt Plugs, Multiple Orgasms, Spanking, Harry Styles has no chill, neither do I to be fair

via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/9QAMwl2

[faehyena]

Happy VORE 🍴 lentine's day! Hope you're ready to get some 🍫 chocolate from your special someone ❤💋!! And mayBEE 🐝 you can give them a special 😉 SURPRISE ☝💋 and VORE 😱👅👄 their CANDY 🍭🍬🍭 ASS 🍑! Send this to 10 of your TASTIEST 🍰 friends this VORELENTINE'S DAY 👄👅🙀! Get 🔟 back and you're the TASTIEST 😋 BITCH EVER! Get 5 back and you're GETTING SOME 👄 MOUTH ACTION 👅 Get 3 back and you're TOTALLY VOREABLE 😋🐯🍑! Get 1 back and you're either a VORER 👄🍭😉 or SAD

❤❤VALENTINE'S DAY❤❤

👋🏻HEY👋🏻 YOU seXXXy💋 LITTLE😫 💃🏼💃🏼SLUTS💃🏼👅‼️‼️📆Today📆 is 💥FUCKUARY 14TH💥 which means👨🏻DADDY CUPID💘💘 is 💦cumming💦 for you⚠️‼️‼️ He’s been ✊🏼YANKING✊🏼😩on his bow🏹 and arrow💘 all night😖 getting ready to 🎯shoot😩👅💦 all over you 😱😩🤣😜😘😍🍆🍆💦💧 so Daddy Cupid draw 🔙 your bow 🏹and let that 💦🤣CUM FLOW➡️👅 💦 ‼️This day only 💦CUMS💦 once a year 📅so ❌rip off❌ your 👗clothes👙 and JUMP 👏🏻ON 👏🏻THAT👏🏻 GOOD 👏🏻DICK!😂😩💗 🙏🏻Saint🙌🏻 Valentine💕🌹 is the 💞SLUTTIEST 👄Saint there is, so 👈🏻spread👉🏻your holy 🙌🏻bible ⬅️wide➡️ to take everything 😵😬😍😆he’s got🙏🏻. 💌☄️SEND💌to 5 💄VALENHOES💋so 👉🏻you👈🏻 can get 😫🤗OFF😊 tonight 👍🏻😵😜❤️💕‼️ if you 😵DON'T😵 you’ll be 👎🏻STUCK ❌without❌ 😖CHOCColate🍫🍫 or 🥖long😩🍆thicc😱🍆 🌹PLOW-HERS🌷🌷for the next 6️⃣9️⃣ YEARS!!!! 😱😭😵😫😜😂😂

[tobythesudriantram]

sharting with fingle and mriends: shart (A.K.A. my excuse to make a shitpost) [CW: Quite a bit of swearing, death, dark humor and random sex jokes.]

*mingle wakes up at 6:09 AM on a thursday night on the 26th of January 2023 in the Pirate's Den RV Resort and Marina in the state of Colorado, United States... A.K.A. fancy people talk for "her house" and walks downstairs (even though she lives in a one-floor house i'm pretty sure) to go talk to her friends dingle and donk.*

mingle: hey guys its me mingle i just sharted in my pants

donk: shut the fuck up im listening to crazy frog

*mingle puts on some nerd glasses* mingle: uhhmhmh actually crazy frog isnt the name of the song its the name of the band 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

donk: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *fucking explodes*

dingle: mingle i want to go outside to play with boyfriend but im dummy thicc so my fat ass and thighs get stuck in the doorway!!1!1

mingle: just fucking jump out the window lol its not going to hurt you

dingle: oh yay!!!! *he proceeds to jump out the window only to smash his head against the concrete and get concussed lol*

*mingle walks outside* mingle: holy crap lois dingle is fucking dead i think

*boyfriend appears* bf: beep bap bo boo bpe shart

mingle: hey boyfriend!11!1!!

bf: i just fukcing sharted

mingle: SAME BESTIE!!!1!1!1!

bf: beep bop boop hey you wanna fuck in the back of a hot topic or smth lol

mingle: ayyyyy yes!1!1!

eduardo: well well well

mingle: holy shit its eduardo from fnf!!1!!1

eduardo: bitch im from edwuud the fuck are you talkin bout

mingle: stfu you are from fnf now

eduardo: ok

bf: beep bop boop i found a gun *shoots eduardo*

eduardo: ACK BITCH YOU JUST FUCKING KILLED ME ack am dying...... tell jon..... his ass is flat....... *dies*

mingle: rip eduardo

bf: anyway uhhhh beep boop skdoop beep lets go have sex in the hot topic now lol

mingle: ok lol

dingle: GUYS I AM ALIVE AGAIN!!!!!

donk: i am too because yes

mingle: ayyyy guys your alive again!

dingle: you're*

mingle: dingle shut the fuck up

donk: lets go have a orgy at the back of the hot topic

dingle: and lets also go make crack

mingle: yes

bf: beep boop shart

azerbaijani spongebob:

Credits:

@friendlyfox34 - The OG Mingle and Friends (I'm sorry for this).

Edd Gould / The Eddsworld Crew - Eduardo.

JerryWannaRat/The Basement Show Team - The WB Splatter Tom sprite in the title card.

And, unfortunately, me - Bringing this nightmare into a reality.

(I'm genuinely sorry for this nightmare... But at the same time i'm sorta not lol).

[unhingedkitchen]

A song of rice and fire

So up north it’s getting a little chilly, it seems. If you’re anything like me and your body cries for carbs the second that a) the mercury drops, b) there is a crisis c) you breathe air, then you might love Mushroom Risotto. 

Recommended music: Loverboy by Billy Ocean. Yes I went there and it's still a banger.

Ingredients

A cup Arborio rice (some brands just get right to the point and call it risotto rice and good for them). Don’t soak or wash it, just have it ready. 

1 litre chicken stock (or vegetarian if you’re keepin’ veggie). You’ll need to keep this warm. 

A punnet of big Portobello mushrooms. Those big brown ones. Not the small white button mushrooms. Not the *smacks hand*, NO. I said NOT the button mushrooms. 

Factoid: those little button mushrooms are actually just immature Portobello mushrooms - Agaricus bisporus. They're the same mushroom. With less personality. The more you know, folks. 

1.5 Tablespoons of butter

A splash of olive oil

A big onion

A fat clove of garlic or two small ones if you are not about that thicc life for some unknown reason. 

A few sprigs of Thyme if you have it, dry will do too. 

Some dry white wine, which is completely optional. Chenin Blanc or an unwooded Chardonnay will be great. 

Parmesan cheese. Now…I will admit that I like shortcuts as much as the next person but please don't use that pre-grated mystery "hard cheese" that you get in packets or bottles. 

It has the texture of yeasty grit and tastes nothing like cheese. A small wedge of actual Parmagiano Reggiano will go a long way (it lasts for multiple dishes) and a little grating over the finished risotto will have you smacking your lips. If Parmagiano isn't available, Pecorino Romano, Grana Padano or Pano Banano works too. Okay. that last one I made up. But cheese is serious business. 

*Puts soapbox away*

As you were. 

Method

First thing we're going to do is coax some stock from those 'shrooms. How? Wash and dry them, place them in a ceramic or glass dish, smooth side down. Lob a few pats of butter in there. No need to full-on Paula Deen them but don't be stingy. Toss your thyme in between. 

Oh shit, put the oven on. 180 degrees C or 355 F. 

Do little hip thrusts to the music while you wait for the oven to heat up. Dance a little. Check out the window if anyone's looking. Decide ultimately it doesn't matter and do those weird hand movements inevitably associated with 80s pop while you dance. 

Oven's ready. Place dish in the oven and wait for the shrooms to cook and release a magic liquid which tastes intensely of mushroom and umami happiness. Cook about 15-20 mins, then take the dish out of the oven. Keep the liquid aside, and wait for the shrooms to cool before slicing them thinly. 

Dice your onion and garlic finely, set aside. Heat a pot on the stove to medium heat, add olive oil, and when it's heated up, toss your onion in with a little salt and saute until it turns translucent. Add your garlic. 

This little mix is called a Sofrito. If you’re watching another rerun of Mando, you can enjoy your Pedrito while cooking your Sofrito. 

*coughs* I’ll see myself out. 

Add the rice to the pot. The rice will now toast and get coated in the oil and aromatics. Wonder when the last time was that you got coated in oil and aromatics and quickly Google Lush bath bombs while you’re stirring.

Once you start to see very slight browning, add a generous splash of the white wine, and for the love of goodness, do NOT lean over the pot while the alcohol cooks out or that warm ethanol will bitch-slap you right in the face.

If you want to determine if the alcohol is cooked out, use your hand to waft some steam your way. Once it stops smelling like alcohol, you’re good. 

Start adding your warm stock, one cup at a time. Pour the mushroom liquid into the risotto to let the rice soak up that delicious mushroom-y flavour. Keep stirring the rice gently until all the liquid has been absorbed. Then add another cup of stock. Season with black pepper and have a little taste for salt. 

Keep adding a cup at a time until the rice grains are fat and very slightly al dente. 

Now grab a grater or a microplane and get some of that delicious real cheese over the pot, and stir gently to incorporate. Settle in with your bowl of deliciousness to watch the rest of that Mandalorian episode and try not to drool all over yourself ;) 

[pwurrz]

first and current impressions of nukani boys part 1/2

eiden: 

first impression: oh he’s cute and kinda stupid, i like him :) gives off protagonist vibes tho

current impression: he’s such a good guy and he’s such a sweet and caring boyfriend who cares about his boyfriend’s individual needs and tries so hard to help them in any way he can. he always tries so hard to be a good person but he doesn’t let people walk all over him. moans are an 8/10 love the diversity between his top moans and his bottom moans <3

aster: 

first impression: pink twink. bonus points for being a vampire.

current impression: he is so funny to me. just a little guy but he is also such a bitch (affectionate) sometimes. he’s very dramatic in an almost stereotypical way but it never gets tiring bc he’s funny about it. moans are a 5/10 due to lack of material to go off of.

morvay: 

first impression: himbo <3 him and aster are frequently bought together.

current impression: himbo!!! he is dumb and thicc of ass but big of heart and boobs. him and aster are definitely two peas in a pod and as much as they bicker it’s only because they love each other. deserves more screentime!!! moans are 7/10, pretty good!!

yakumo:

first impression: oh he is so cute!! i love shy boys <3 i hope we get to top tf outta him

current impression: SCREAMS FOR 8 YEARS ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM. would die for him without hesitation. deserves the entire world and so much more. he is so so sweet and sensitive and caring and a crybaby and that’s what makes him so lovable. still hope he bottoms one day bc i would love for him to get lovingly wrecked <33 please go to therapy babyboy ilysm. moans are a 10/10 mwah mwah chef’s kiss. his little noises are so cute and his gasps are so cute please never stop.

edmond:

first impression: ah the token tsundere. never been the biggest fan of this trope but he’s very pretty so i’ll see how it goes.

current impression: oh baby… he’s not really a tsundere he’s just very inexperienced and shy and gets really flustered easily in a way that seems tsundere-ish. I’m so happy to see him trusting and opening up to eiden because i know it’s hard for him but he’s come so far <3 please learn to rely on others and take a break every once and a while. moans are a 9/10 they’re very breathy at first but then he lets loose and oh…..

olivine: 

first impression: hello big tiddie priest man. lots of shy and reclusive guys so far but i’m into it.

current impression: OH THIS MAN IS NOT SHY HE IS A WHORE (affectionate). he’s so kinky and open about it?? which is refreshing because all the guys we’d met before that (besides morvay ofc) were the complete opposite. very sweet and caring but not so much he neglects his own needs or tolerates thing that make him uncomfortable. eiden was so right to assign him as the leader of tidal wave of summer because he’s very patient and understanding, the perfect teacher. moans are… a 2/10 he’s enjoying it and like good for him but i worry about someone overhearing even if i’m wearing headphones. 

quincy:

first impression: oh hi…. big big man nice tits i mean nice tits i mean-

current impression: i don’t care that he’s an old man he’s baby. initially he was a loner and avoided anything troublesome because he didn’t want to grow attached to people who knew he’d outlive but ever since eiden came into his life he’s learned to cherish the memories he’s made with people and live in the moment. his visible fondness for those he cares about is very sweet. he's also one of the characters who consistently makes me laugh and he's not even trying to be funny. he should uhhh try bottoming once or twice. also his tits deserves to be played with thanks. moans are a 9/10 speak up!! i wanna feel like you’re growling directly into my soul!!!!

kuya: 

first impression: oh my god he’s such a bitch. why does he hate eiden so much can he chill??

current impression: oh my god he’s such a bitch (affectionate) a sadistic masochist with a breeding kink who fooled eiden into thinking he straight up killed someone for annoying him and it was believable??? but i get it. i understand him. he’s so emotionally constipated and i wish he’d just let his guard down for five seconds and be soft with eiden and just admit that he loves him!! no one believes you when you keep saying you don’t like him sir!! moans are a 7/10 they’re very… soft. they feel very intimate because you wouldn’t expect something like that to come out of him.