#1 million beers
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h8 it when this happens.
og
#homestuck#art#redesign#headcanon#ship art#vriska serket#homestuck art#vriska homestuck#tiktok#humanstuck#scene kid#1 million beers#tavris
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#frank iero#1 million beers#my chemical romance#mcrmy#2000s#i need a cigarette#iubesc sa fumez#my chemical fucking romance#mcr#mcr my beloved#:3#core
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#sematary#haunted mound#rainbow bridge#idk man#ghost mountain#idk how to tag this#idk what else to tag#idk#idk what im doing#all cops are bastards#1 million beers#beer#i love alcohol#loser core#loser humiliation#small dick loser#pathetic loser
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1 million beers please
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I have so many blessings
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I will definitely sober up and ehhhhhhhhh myself bc of this fucking background.
THE closeup.
#i need 1 million beers#coat as a symbol of laziness.#we all knew th I wld be 2 lazy 2 finish it.#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#atsv hobie#spider punk#noirpunk#punknoir#spider noir#Welp
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alcoholism final boss pt 2 I guess
thisguyb..,,,, teeheee.,,,
#scp#scp foundation#scp fanart#dr alto clef#dr clef#alcoholism#1 million beers please!!#he didn’t pay for it btw#I hope he gets liver failure#I’d cheer#blART29
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wishing i could take a shot frfr
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21 now
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really truly Feelings about coming back to my hometown and seeing it as an outsider (I only knew it as a child with my motion constrained by school and parents and being under 18) and an outsider (it's changed since I've been away these last 8 years) and an outsider (showing it to my partner and finding it both familiar and unfamiliar, and special and inadequate) and an outsider (my parents and sister have all moved and my childhood home is no longer mine - staying in a building with a door code to learn and furniture still being moved in) and an outsider (my favorite places have changed, moved, closed, repainted) and an outsider (new murals! new buildings! new bike lanes) and an outsider (how the Fuck do the bike lanes on the east bank connect) and an outsider (it's changed [you can never step in the same river twice] and I have too)
#i think I need to make art about this#wanting to show off the things I love about it and realizing so much of that love is for the mundane details and tiny quotidian things#seeing people in the bike lanes and feeling the pang of just Being Around People Enjoying the Outdoors#how much fun you can have for free#at the same time not having lived here at all as an adult#i don't know the public transit here! i biked when it wasn't snowy and when it was snowy i was in school til like 9 pm#i don't know the flashy fun city things i know where me and my cousins would go to have a pretzel and maybe a beer and play board games#i know where u can do martial arts for cheap and fun but that's not a nice day out to show someone it's part of being there for months#years#i know where you can get food at 1 AM but they've moved#i don't know dinkytown or any of the north side#i want to show you how good it was to be a kid here in the summer but we're not kids anymore#i want you to feel the same pang of love when passing my best friend's childhood home#ALSO!!!! saw california friends/acquaintances in the home they bought together with dual software engineer california salaries#living in MN making CA money#a huge huge 3-story-plus-basement million-plus dollar home since that means something here#you're 28 what the fuck are you doing with a nicer house than anyone I knew here ever had#'this is what you get with CA money in mpls' yeah i fucking know actually except I don't make SWE money and I don't live here anymore#i know some local mechanical engineers who have got starter homes at like 300k a few years out of school.#that's like. good for them.#anyway I'm leaving the city today and still just feeling Things about it
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Might become an alcoholic at age 16, chill with my dad who knows
#waiter waiter! 1 million beers please!#/j /j /j#this is a joke guys pleasee!#me saying to literally no one
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CASUAL pt.2— lando norris (angst)
pairing; fem!reader x lando norris summary: it took lando too long to realise it wasn't just 'casual'. warnings: a LOT of angst, toxic relationship, sexual implication, not proofread a/n: casual part 2 was not really a part of the plan but the audience had demands 🦧also i think this was too long lmao. AND IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY OMG
part 1 - casual
miami grand prix: the biggest pr nightmare for every driver—especially lando norris.
the media had been all over him that weekend, going to the lengths of literally calling him 'the hottest catch on the single market'. hollywood stars and instagram models were so desperate to marry him and have his kids that they didn't catch on the fact that he was a 23-year-old racing driver who couldn't give a fuck about them.
because he was stuck on you.
for weeks, he'd waited—hoping you’d reach out, or at the very least, watch his instagram stories. he posted shirtless photos, sun-kissed photos—hell, he even threw out a thirst trap just for you. But you didn’t take the bait. you didn't take the fucking bait.
you hadn't texted him or spoken to him since the moment you walked out of that hotel room weeks ago, so he didn't try to reach out either. "would've been a blow to my ego," he'd told sainz.
but now, he didn't give a shit about his ego. he was tired of waiting.
his eyes darted across the packed club, friends and guests scattered all around. he couldn't wait to get out of there.
he hadn't been drinking. didn't really feel like it. truth be told, he hadn’t been feeling much of anything at all.
pool parties, clubs, yachts, champagne and girls.
he was tired of the glitz and glam of his life, and you were the only escape from it.
but you were gone.
his mind wandered to that morning, when you had kissed him and the two of you had ordered room service. when he had held you for the last time.
he hated how the only thing on his mind was you. how it was the only thing on his mind all through the celebrations, as hookers danced around him and people tried to pour drinks into his mouth.
for fuck's sake, he had won a grand prix for the first time in his life, and yet he was unhappy.
how did he get here?
he looked up, eyes falling on a group of men in the VIP section, the lights illuminating their faces.
everyone could tell something was off with lando. he didn't want to do any of this.
all he wanted was you. you, you, you.
the girl who had left without an explanation.
why had you left, anyway? no calls, no texts. your friends avoided him, and you avoided his friends. it was like the two of you were nothing.
lando norris was many things, but he was not a fool. he could recognise when something was wrong, or when a situation had escalated beyond his control.
he knew that there was a reason why you left, but the reason never clicked in that thick brain of his. what had he done wrong? where had he gone wrong?
"i'm not feeling too well, mate." he muttered, handing the beer bottle back to the guy standing next to him.
okay, maybe not admitting his feelings for you had fucked things up. but, what could you expect? he didn't have the time to give you what you deserved.
not right now, at least.
lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really.
"what are you waiting for, then?" the other man asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"what?"
"just call her, bro. i know it's about a girl because there's no way any sane man would say no to expensive beers and a million hot hookers."
did lando even know this man? probably not.
"i can't call her. she doesn't want to talk to me. trust me, i've tried."
"have you?"
he didn't know how to deal with rejection. not like this, not with you. you weren't supposed to leave.
"judging by your sulkiness, i doubt you're going to find a girl like her again. and you'll never have her if you're here."
lando didn't have a heart of stone, as much as his social media persona might suggest. he didn't care for any of this. the women, the money, the fame.
he wanted to hold you again. kiss you, tell you he loves you. he wanted to hold your hand. he wanted to be near you, and only you.
so, when his feet hit the floor and he found himself walking towards the exit, he wasn't surprised.
yeah, it was foolish of him to leave a party full of women who were celebrating him (literally) for a girl who had ghosted him, but the need was stronger than his pride.
out of the yacht, he was dialling the only number he'd ever memorised. the phone rang, and then it rang again.
would she be wearing his clothes, or would she have gotten rid of everything related to him?
maybe she'd found another man, finally realising that lando was a bad investment.
as the phone rang, you were hidden in your apartment with blankets wrapped around you and a youtube video playing in the background.
it had been months since you'd heard the word 'casual' leave his mouth. months since you had fled london and monaco to move to miami.
at first, his words had echoed in your mind constantly, and you'd cried yourself to sleep a few times more than you'd like to admit.
but just like every heartbroken poet in history, the hurt faded and the pain slowly morphed into hatred. and anger.
you wanted to slam your head against a wall. scratch that, you wanted to slam his head against a wall.
it was so stupid, and you hated yourself for believing he'd been genuine.
it was just sex. that's all it ever was. it truly was just casual.
the phone was still ringing. your finger hesitated over the answer button. you weren't going to answer it.
it wasn't worth it. you didn't want to hear his voice. didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that his words had hurt you. you didn't want to know if he was sleeping around, if his girlfriends were prettier than you.
so the line went dead.
lando stood by the harbour, watching as yachts and ships sailed past him. the air was humid and his t-shirt clung to his body, the heat almost unbearable. the sound of waves, the distant laughter and music, and the sound of his ragged breaths.
he ran his fingers through his hair, looking around. where was his car?
he had to find his way back to his hotel. he was a mess, and his clothes were sticking to his skin. he needed to fix his appearance, buy a bouquet a flowers.
he checked the time on his watch, and cursed as he saw the numbers. it was almost 3 am. he wouldn't find flowers anywhere at 3 am.
"fuck it." he said, running over to his car. the drive was quiet, save for the low hum of music and his occasional swearing when someone drove a little bit slower than he'd like.
lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really. but he only wanted you. he was a hopeless romantic, and you were his muse.
when he pulled up outside the apartment, his nerves were going haywire. he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath before getting out of the car.
he knocked twice on the door and when it opened, his eyes lit up.
you stared back at him, sleepiness in your eyes and confusion etched on your face.
and god, did you look gorgeous.
he loved you, he realised. he had to cross his hands behind his back to stop them from reaching out and holding you close.
"lando?" you breathed out.
he had grown a slight stubble since you last saw him. his hair were still the same, except a little bit longer. his blue eyes were wide as he looked at you.
"hey," his voice was shaky.
"what the fuck are you doing here?"
he wanted to say so many things. ask you why you left, where it went wrong, why you moved to miami. he wanted to declare his love for you, press his lips to yours, hold you by the waist. he wanted to hear you say that you loved him too.
he was so in love with you, and you had no idea.
"lando? why are you here?" you asked again.
he was at a loss of words. what could he say? he couldn't exactly just stand there and say nothing.
"because," his voice cracked, "i miss you."
your throat went dry. he could not just say that.
it had been weeks. weeks of him not contacting you, weeks of you not speaking to him. the phone calls had stopped, the text messages had stopped, the late night chats had stopped. everything was just gone.
and now, he missed you?
tears welled up in your eyes, a lump forming in your throat. you shook your head, pushing back the tears, "go away."
"what? no, wait. wait. don't do this." he pleaded, his voice fragile and desperate, like a child trying to avoid bedtime.
"lando-"
he interrupted you, voice louder than before. "can we please talk about this?"
"what is there to talk about?" you were raising your voice. you hated him. how could he act like this after all that happened?
"everything. just—please, can i come in?" he sounded so pathetic. he felt so pathetic. his hands were slightly hovering over the door, ready to push it open and walk in.
the request took you by surprise. "i-no."
you missed him. there was no denying that.
you wanted him to tell you it was okay. wanted to go back to that night in his mclaren, the night he told you he liked you. wanted the weekends spent in london with his family. you wanted him, all of him.
his curly hair wrapped around your fingers, blue eyes staring at you, soft lips kissing you. his cold hands grabbing yours, and his voice saying your name. you wanted it to not be casual.
"i just want to talk to you."
he was drunk. there was no other way he would've showed up here, let alone begged to talk to you. the fact that he needed to be drunk to have this conversation made your blood boil.
"do you still have my jacket?"
of course, you still had his stupid jacket. the one that had his smell embedded into the fabric. it was an exclusive print mclaren had given him, and he had swung it around your shoulders after the night you had first made love to each other.
but he didn't care about the jacket, and neither did you. it was just a reminder.
you were silent for a while, taking in the sight of each other. it was his breath mingling with yours.
"i love you." he whispered.
your breath hitched in your throat, the tears finally falling out of your eyes as you sighed.
"i love you," he repeated to himself. "yes, i do. and i've known that since the day i met you."
you choked back sobs as you shook your head, "you're drunk, lando."
"i'm not," he chuckled, "maybe a little, but not enough."
then, he added, "i mean it. i love you." his voice was steady. he truly meant every word. but he didn't know what would happen now.
"what do you want me to say, lando?"
he sighed, "anything."
you laughed bitterly. anything, he said.
anything would've been better than what had happened.
"i don't think i can do this, lando."
"we can take it slow."
"you've never done slow."
he fell silent again because you were right. he'd never done slow. he didn't know how to take things slow. he was a fucking formula 1 driver, after all. slow wasn't something he did. he'd always lived life like it was the last day. and that's how he had lost you.
"i'm sorry," he began, his voice breaking. "i should've been a better person. i'm sorry for everything i did. i should've given you more, i-i should've loved you more, because you deserve so much more. i'm so, so, sorry."
"lando," you whispered, "it's not—"
"don't make excuses for me, please. i love you, i realy do. and if i have to spend the rest of my life proving that, i will." and he meant every word. "i just want you back."
your mind was racing, a million thoughts running through it. it was like a movie. his blue eyes, his voice, the desperation in his tone, the way he stood before you.
"okay," you muttered.
"wait, okay? does that mean—"
"you're gonna have to work for this," you said.
"i know, and i will. i promise."
you sighed, rubbing your temple. this wasn't a good idea. "get in."
lando's face lit up, and before you could change your mind, he had walked into the apartment. he hadn't really been here before, considering you moved here after the two of you had stopped talking. but the apartment was lovely, homely. everything you.
you closed the door behind him, watching him look around the living room.
"how'd you know where i live?"
he chuckled, turning to face you. "i'm a famous driver. i have my sources."
"i'm sure." a tense silence followed, neither of you knowing what to say.
"i'm not letting this happen again," he blurted, "i'm not. i don't know how, but i won't."
"i don't believe you." you scoffed.
"fuck, baby, what do i have to do for you to believe me?" he stepped towards you, closing the distance.
"stop calling me that."
"you are my baby." he tried to joke.
"lando, i'm not joking."
"i'm serious too," his voice was sincere, "i love you, and i'll do whatever it takes for you to believe me."
you had been through a lot together. the highs, the lows. you had seen him at his best, and at his worst. the good and the bad.
he moved closer, reaching a hand out to hold yours. you didn't know why, but the moment his hand touched yours, it was like a switch had flipped inside of you.
you let his hand wander over yours like a ghost, his calloused fingertips tracing over your knuckles. he intertwined your fingers together, eyes casted down.
"i've never cared about anyone the way i care about you." he admitted in a soft voice.
and then he pressed his lips to yours. his other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him.
and god, did he taste the same. lando had a way with his lips. it was a talent. he kissed you like he needed your lips to survive. he was desperate for your touch as if he had been starving without it.
you were so lost in the feeling that you hadn't realised how far you had pushed him until the back of his knees hit the couch, and he fell on top of it.
his eyes were wide, mouth hanging open. his shirt was halfway unbuttoned, exposing his chest and toned abs.
the two of you stared at each other, eyes searching the other's.
"i love you." he murmured for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.
maybe it was the way his blue eyes bore into yours, or the way his lips quivered, or maybe it was the fact that he had driven across the city to say this.
but for the first time that night, you believed him. suddenly, the anger was gone. it was all gone.
"i love you, too." you whispered.
it was the only thing the two of you needed. the confirmation, the reassurance. the love.
you leaned down and connected your lips once more, hand reaching up to his curls and tugging lightly. he moaned into the kiss, pulling you on top of him.
your tongue entered his mouth, the taste of him making you lightheaded. his hands roamed over your body, the feeling of his skin against yours.
"baby," he whispered between kisses, "i want you so bad. i've waited so long."
his lips trailed along your jaw and down your neck, sucking marks into the sensitive skin.
"i want you," he murmured against the crook of your neck, "so fucking bad."
but he pulled away, flipping the two of you over so he was on top of you. he took off his shirt, and rested his head on your chest. he cleared his throat, "i should've asked this question earlier, but are you single?"
"yeah." you chuckled, running a hand through his curls.
"so, can i be your boyfriend?"
"lando norris," you hummed, "did you finally get the guts to ask me out?"
"yes," he smiled, lifting his head up to look at you, "yes, i did. will you be my girlfriend?"
"you're a dork."
"that's not an answer."
"yes," you laughed, "yes, i'll be your girlfriend."
lando grinned, and you grinned back.
it wasn't casual anymore.
(u guys im so sorry if i've tagged someone who doesnt want to be tagged i just had no idea how to let non-followers know part 2 is out bcs tumblr is not letting me reply to comments😭if anyone wants their tag removed, feel free to dm me!! i hope u liked this) @oscarpiassrri @meglouise00 @f1fantasys @technicallypleasanttree @ggaslyp1 @obxstiles @nataliambc @prudyhoo @idkwtdwml123 @ushygushybaby @emilyroxy @yootvi @fishingarden @pillowprincess4him @herexpertcollector
#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#lando norris smut#lando norris fic#f1 fic#lando norris x reader#lando norris one shot#lando norris imagine#lando norris angst#lando norris#f1 angst#f1 one shot#f1#lando norris blurb#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#f1 fanfic#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#formula one x you#formula one x reader#casual
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sister in laws stag & doe party 2nite wat should i wear (is going to wear the 1 single outfit they always wear when they go out to any special get together event ever)
#its gonna be the fit ive posted like 1 million times. the one where im holding the beer and saykng grocery shopping trip was victorious#i dont have many clothes tbh
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First Choice - Part 1
Poly141! x fat!reader tw: self fat shaming, social anxiety, drinking, mention of male appendages at the end
This late Friday night found you where it always did. Alone after watching all of your pretty, skinny friends filter out into the crowd. The plush of your ass settled over the edges of the stool and you're grateful the bar is pretty dark, easier to hide. A glass of whiskey is being nursed in your hands while your eyes take in the crowd, effectively also checking on your friends.
As your eyes rove over, they settle on the back table, tucked into the corner and surrounded by four larger than normal men.
The one with the mohawk is the loudest by far, his boisterous Scottish brogue filtering over the sounds of the crowd. He's got a hand wrapped around a half finished bottle of beer while he loudly recounts a story that makes all of them groan like they've heard it a million times.
The dark skinned one had to be the prettiest man you'd ever seen. His long fingers danced along the side of a glass of what looked to be rum and coke. His chuckle made his shoulders shake, shaking his head at his comrade.
The one with the thick mustache was laughing along with the Scot's story, butting in with his own interjections when he had something to add. His meaty paw held a glass of bourbon while the other gestured a bit wildly with a lit cigar.
The one with the mask though. He had an almost full glass of whiskey in front of him, arms crossed over his chest as he scoffed at the Scot's story. He had been there and he knew that wasn't quite how it went. His eyes trailed from his buddies at the table, doing another sweep of the room. The fifth one you've watched him do tonight.
This time is different. His eyes meet your and you duck your head, avoiding the eye contact. You'd known (the way someone with social anxiety knows) that people would think you weird, making eye contact with strangers. It immediately signals your fight or flight response, settling on flight even though you weren't in any danger.
When you glanced back up, he was looking back at his friends, but you didn't know he'd smiled softly and was now bringing the rest of his tables' attention to you.
In your new panic, you paid your tab and headed out the door. So when Ghost finally got the others to look your way, your seat was empty and the bell was chiming over the door.
"You sure she was there, LT?" Soap asked, clapping the other man on the shoulder.
"Was right there, on the end. Prettiest bird I ever saw," Ghost grunted, his mask wrinkling with his nose.
"Thass m'friend yer talkin bout," a pretty blond slurred at them as she hung on to a frat boy type that was more interested in running his hands all over her body. "Come 'ere e'ry Friday, woo!" She was herded off by her cohort, giggling as they headed for the door. "Guess we'll be here next Friday too then."
You walked home in the chilly night, anger and resentment flooding through your veins. They'd never give you a chance, not with all the pretty girls that were in that bar. You'd always been looked over for girls more beautiful or thinner than you. What was the line they always fed you? 'I love your personality, but you're just not...my type.'
Suffice it to say, the four men would head back to their shared flat, fisting their cocks to just Ghost's description of you and fiending for the next Friday to come.
I promise I'm working on the Touch Fivesome. There's a lot of details and functionality that I'm trying to figure out.
I couldn't get this out of my head. Inspired by another post along a similar vein. I can't remember who it was now, but it's been festering.
Update: I found the inspiration. :3 @devil-in-hiding
Part Two ->
#captain john price#call of duty x reader#johnny soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#poly!141#simon riley x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz x reader#kyle garrick#kyle gaz x you#kyle gaz#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#john price x reader#john price#captain price#john price x plus size reader#john price x you#plus size#plus size reader#johnny soap mctavish x you#johnny mactavish#johnny mctavish x reader#tradgedyinwaves#devil in hiding
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