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Yes yes he’s cute but is he covered in blood?

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I will definitely sober up and ehhhhhhhhh myself bc of this fucking background.

THE closeup.

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hey & hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

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some sketches for breakfast.

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@spidey-bie

The Hobie rant you've been waiting for, and because I'm an absolute frolicking unhinged transman about this aesthetically pleasing man it would be noted that this will not be a rant, but a fucking essay. You asked for it. In this essay I will go into flaws of the comics, the appeals because I am a platonic WHORE for this blorbo, and speculative shit that I will try to separate from the actual facts but because of pacing, It'll just be thrown in there with everything else. My first victim on "the shlong's chopping block," other then getting a new fucking name for "The shlong's chopping block" because what the fuck was that; Is going to be his first appearance.

2019 was a fucking year, it was the event of many fucking problems. Hobie's mental health was one of them, but not himself. It goes on for a bit establishing the police brutality, in mostly art that is incredibly normalized or at-least overly-common to people of working class. From the wording they call themselves "Rats" which, probably started from someone else. There's only a couple important things that I want to highlight as we discuss the arch of this character, it's kind of subtle.

We start with a riot. Not in your average terms of flipping over police cars, which I'm sure they're very inclined to do, it's planned. All of these equipments? Too much to had to be just on hand, they've planned this event out. Two, Hobie's fucking drunk. That is 3 beers, a potential canned one or a coke and it is such a detail to illustrate that they put it onto the next panel in the wide shot too. This man very much cannot drive, and they're on an actual goddamn truck right now. That's not easy to get on for anyone other then spider-man, so yes, I can confirm just by the ease and the levels of stupid it would be to drink and then try to get off a cargo truck and break your fuckin' neck before you're in a riot that these are indeed Hobie's. Off to a great fucking start.

The wide shot, where you can see the beer bottle, also tells us a bit about Hobie's view on himself and his overall state of mind. He's angry, you already picked that up. He's fucking drunk, which was subtle, and three and most importantly. He's not doing good, my guy. "Radioactive suicide machine" is the most edgy ass shit I've heard in my entire fucking life. He's betting on getting killed and is purposely throwing himself into this situation to die for something worth fighting for. He's not fucking okay, and Anger is a secondary emotion to fear. You get angry because you need to fight off a threat to you, a threat that is making you scared. He's scared as much as he's ready to kick ass, and he's planning to die. Before anything has already happened, everything here is telling us this isn't going to end up alright. This is a highly public event, where they shut down an entire highway. A coordinated group effort was taken here, and a squad team has already been called. One of two of the men leading this riot is very drunk and very mentally unwell. Tension is unreasonably high and we've got enough people to say that mob mentality is definitely an influence here. There's no backing out anymore.

The next part of this is incredibly famous, they coordinate the sound wave of Spider-man's guitar with the assault, striking them when they don't have their symbiotes to help them. Spider-man goes straight for Osborn, and without thinking, without even pondering if this is gonna have ramifications, Hobie decapitates the literal fucking president in a highly public event and takes his mask off with it as well. So, his face is going on every fucking newspaper in the entire country. I can't begin to explain to you how fucking extreme of an action that is, and how little care about your own person and your own life and livelihood you have to have to make that choice, in that manner, in that execution. This is basically Social death. He's infamous for this now, for the rest of his fucking life. His future partners, anyone he ever remotely associates with now, for the rest of his life will be known with this event attached to it. There is fucking literally no going back, and he didn't hesitate because he's not even expecting to live long enough to see it through.

He's thinking "Once he's dead, Everything will collapse and nothing will be left of them to hurt what I love anymore," and it's not a thought without some fact. Without a face, a name, something to remember a movement or action with instead of just concepts, they are historically known to completely die out until social issues start popping back up again. He did disorganize and immobilize a large weapon of their oppression, He did bring an entire campaign to their knees. He did win, but It's at the cost of the rest of his life. Remember that, because as you'll later see, Hobie certainly does. I want to also remind you once more, this is not how he normally acts. He doesn't have these rash, suddenly violent reactions to shit. He's pretty soft, actually, really friendly. He gets along or either doesn't say something too and overall doesn't have alot of issues with people when interacting with spider-people and people outside of this setting. He also later becomes a more prominent public figure, and when he's depicted on stage, people aren't throwing shit at him so clearly he's doing something right. This incredibly likely a very drunk action, taken by a scared individual that doubles as a cry for help in a society that is trying to kill them and feels like there is no other option. This is too extreme to be anything other then fear. This is how Hobie expresses fear until he gets a solo comic.

We are so far in, and we haven't gotten through the first comic appearance. I'mma have to do this shit in parts at this rate.

As we continue through the comics, Hobie tends to shut the fuck up when he's not the center of attention and is incredibly pissed off, which translates into incredibly afraid. This is understandable, considering they're literally fighting for the ability to not get butchered. It's the same all the way through out until the web warriors, which we will talk about.

Here we have our first problem and kind of leading onto a reoccurring problem until we got a black writer. It's the color, folks. Hate to mention it, hate it more that it exists. I first give you the first ever physicals visual of this man, then a series of others throughout his run. Very warm, beautiful hues. Very beautiful man with cheekbones you can kill a guy with, until his next face appearance where he looks so fucking grey when there isn't a mask mostly covering his face, also is it me or is that second image just... lighter? I feel like that's not even the same color. Third; I fucking know that isn't the same color or even the same goddamn character.

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GUY FROM INDIA HAVE THE SAME FUCKING SHADE OF SKIN AS THE DARK-SKINNED MAN? FUCKING WHY? WHO DECIDED TO GIVE HIM THE MICHEAL JACKSON TREATMENT? Congrats, the Spider-punk comic actually has a skin tone that isn't grey as hell. Good for them.

Also, all these motherfuckers talk the same except Hobie has 90% of his sentences censored because he can't stop swearing like a sailor at every chance. Until the solo comics, then we have a completely different thing; Hobie uses his entire spider-man persona as an emotional crutch, which I know he does because every single time he finds something permanent to him, even the welfare center; he puts spider in-front of it. It's like to him, when he thinks of everything as Spider-man's and this big integral part of his person that honestly, does alot of good for not only himself but his overall way of living, things stop being so scary. It's after he's balls deep in the spider-punk thing that he's so much more jokey, so much more willing to cry about his problems instead of punching someone's face in. So, Good for him. Still unhealthy with that work life balance, but he's doing solid. So, Now that we've reviewed the material. We have our final thoughts; First on the list, I WANT THIS ANGRY TWINK TO HAVE GUYLINER. YOU WERE COWARDS FOR TAKING AWAY HIS 3 PIERCINGS. PUT HIS ASS IN BLACK LIPSTICK. THIS MAN SHOULD NOT BE REMOTELY IN THE MASCULINE PATRACTY'S WORLD OF STANDARDS, PUT HIM IN GUYLINER, ALL MUSICIANS WITH ELECTRIC GUITARS SEEM TO LIKE IT, WHY NOT HIM? DO IT NOW I SAY IT. Secondly, More seriously... Do you realize how many things you could've played with if you leaned into his culture? This punk parts of himself instead of scared and angry? Yeah, they did that with the spider-punk comic, and they did damn good. The issue with it still is, it took a black punk writer getting in the fucking writing room for them to attempt it. Why couldn't we get some nuances about the challenges of being part of a community that is so linked to being queer, which I know it is without even fact checking that because they're called "Punks," outcasts, and that's what being queer is. He clearly doesn't have a family, maybe estranged and he never reconnected or just plain dead, but you could've had a passing comment about how they thought he was gay or something and then got really weird about it because of Christianity. He says himself he has two rules, "No gods, and no masters." That had to come from somewhere, and considering that alot of black communities have a shit ton of religious practices in them, Something clearly happened there. There's a reason he hates religion so much. His main issue is that with all we see of him, there isn't enough emotional development that tells us something other then "I'm tired and jaded, I'm suicidal, I'm scared." The movie was definitely a step up, but until there's more content, I'm holding onto the comics just because of comfort himbo. So, In the words of an unwell man:

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ma comrades from the noirpunk nation started writing about cannibalism in the backstories of Peter and Hobie, I CAN'T GET BEHIND OK. let's start with memes.

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sparks fly

cleared the smoke for you

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I crumple myself up when I see your art

ANYWAY

hapi hapi hapi

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in love with ur doodles teehee i am eating

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cat person.

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sad-comedy story of the socialization of this moron (me).

> comes to noirpunk discord. > nervously silent. people say hello??? > VERY NERVOUSLY SILENT. MORE GREETINGS > GREAT HEAVENS, WHAT DO NORMAL PEOPLE SAY IN SUCH SITUATIONS!? > "uh UH" > "salutations comrades 🫡"

> choose invisible as status.

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hehehehe oh shit indefinite sad dark shadow (⊙ˍ⊙).

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Imagine Miles telling Hobie about Noir and how he's so funny and harmless and silly and stuff

Then Hobie goes on a mission with Noir and is like heh I guess Miles was right

Until Noir pulls out a gun and starts bustin shots at the enemy like it's normal. Like that's what Spidermen do

Green Goblin start flying and Noirs like 'Ive got this one fellas' Hobie turns around and my mans standing there with a tommy gun like

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ok this is the remnant of that terrible shitpost.