#1 am rambly
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
"For most people, a rat is at best an unwelcome guest, and at worst, the target of immediate extermination. But in a field clinic in Tanzania, rats are colleagues—heroes even.
Far from a trash bin-dwelling NYC street rat, the African giant pouched rat is docile, intelligent, easier to train than some dogs, and for East Africans, the performer of lifesaving tuberculosis diagnoses every day.
400,000 new cases of tuberculosis (TB) were estimated to have been prevented by these rats, whose sense of smell would make a bloodhound take notice. As [TB is] the number-one killer among infectious diseases worldwide, many of those 400,000 can be translated into lives saved.
“Not only are we saving people’s lives, but we’re also changing these perspectives and raising awareness and appreciation for something as lowly as a rat,” said Cindy Fast, a behavioral neuroscientist who coaches the rodents for the nonprofit APOPO.
“Because our rats are our colleagues, and we really do see them as heroes.”
APOPO uses giant pouched rats to sniff out traces of TB in the saliva of patients. In parts of Tanzania, a saliva smear test under a microscope by a human may only be 20-40% effective at detecting TB.
By contrast, a giant pouched rat like Ms. Carolina, a now-retired service rat who worked for APOPO for 7 years, raised the rates of detection on TB samples by 40% in the clinic where she worked.

Pictured: An APOPO employee with one of their trained rats
It would take 4 days for scientists to analyze the number of samples that Carolina could screen in 20 minutes. For that reason, when Carolina retired last November, a party was thrown at the clinic in her honor, and she was given a cake.
TB is sometimes thought of as a thing of the past—a disease for which doctors used to prescribe “dry air,” leading a modern sense of humor to muse at the antiquated, pre-antibiotic medical advice.
But it remains the number-one cause of death globally from a single infectious pathogen, and Tefera Agizew, a physician and APOPO’s head of tuberculosis, told National Geographic that once people see what the nonprofit’s rodents can do to slow the spread, they “fall in love with them.”
3,000 times in her career did Carolina detect one of the six volatile compounds that can be used to identify Mycobacterium tuberculosis, and she got a hero’s send-off to a special compound to live out the rest of her days with her closet friend and sniffer colleague Gilbert, in a shaded enclosure dubbed “Rat Florida.”
“We’ve made special little rat-friendly carrot cakes with little peanuts and things on it that the rat would enjoy,” Fast said. “Then we all stand around and we clap, and we give three cheers, hip hip hooray for the hero, and celebrate together. It’s really a touching moment.”
APOPO has made headlines for its use of these rats in other lifesaving tasks as well: landmine clearance.
One of the world’s great underreported scourges (a lot like TB, coincidentally) is landmine contamination. There are 110 million landmines or unexploded bombs in the ground right now in about 67 countries, covering thousands of square miles in potential danger. Thousands of civilians are killed or injured by these weapons every year.
GNN reported on APOPO’s demining efforts using pouched rats back in 2020. One rat named Magawa alone identified 39 landmines and 28 items of unexploded ordnance across an area the size of 20 football fields.
If at the start of this story you didn’t like rats, maybe Magawa and Carolina will have changed your mind."
-via Good News Network, March 31, 2025
#rats#rodents#hero rats#african pouched rat#tanzania#africa#east africa#landmine#tuberculosis#tb#public health#infectious diseases#good news#hope#listen guys I love rats SO MUCH so this is my fav news story in a while#rats are beautiful and brilliant and deserve the world#idc what you think#also this particular species of rat lives like 7-10 years which is a HUGE improvement on the 1-3 typical pet rats live#so although I almost certainly would never actually have done it#I am very sad to learn that it is illegal to bring them into the US#killing my dreams#anyway rats make great pets thanks for listening to me ramble#lore drop: I love rats
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us
#and still be mad at shithead executives for unfairly cancelling my pirate show#also imagine what my ao3 word count will be like. gonna be writing my little fics in the nursing home#sometimes when i get frustrated over my writing i have to remember that i've only been doing it for a little over a year#and not in my native language#there is still so much time and so much to learn and try and discover and explore and i am EXCITED#there is something so ancient and beautiful about humans being brought together by stories#storytelling is what humans have always done and will always do and what will always connect us#to our past to the future to each other#sorry for the 1 am ramblings#fandom#🐭📓
8K notes
·
View notes
Text


#he just does whatever. in my mind.#i draw him doimg whatever#hes like my barbie doll#no#worse hes like the beanie boos i used to play with to tell my stupid stories about mermaids. or whatever.#i dont remember what i was doing in like 2016 but it was beanie boo related#whatever that was is what im doing wirh him now#its 1 am#nothing im thinking is coherent#please ignore my ramblings#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#stanford pines#ford pines
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
I want to sit on Diavolo’s face so fucking bad
Nsfw ♛
Same nonnie, same <3
Diavolo himself wants you to sit on his face so fucking bad!!- it’s the first thing he insists on doing to ‘get you ready for his cock’.
He lays down on the bed and practically drags your body up to his face, desperate to get his mouth on you. Now don’t insult him by trying to hover or keep your weight off of him. Sit. On. His. Face.
If you still try to hold yourself up a bit, Diavolo will wraps his arms around your legs, fingers digging into your soft thighs and pull you down until your full weight is on him!!! He’ll be fine-
Eats you out like he’s starved-
Alternating between licking long, fat strips along your pussy getting as much of your slick as he can into his mouth to sucking harshly on your clit. It’s all sloppy as Diavolo practically makes out with your cunt, gently rocking your hips in time with his tongue.
Tests what you like more and then repeats that over and over until you’re a mess!! moaning ‘n whining his name, grabbing his hair just to ground yourself a bit and feeling him moan vibrate against your cult when you do-
He’ll be watching you the whole time too, eyes starring up at you so intensity it’s like he’s trying to burn your body into him mind. Especially when you cum all over his face- ‘so gorgeous when you’re lost in pleasure~’
Trying desperately to squirm away as he keeps your body in place, licking up every drop of your cum and then some.
You’re reminded of his slightly terrifying demonic strength when he won’t let you up….he doesn’t stop you with words, he just nips at the inside of your thigh as a warning and holds you down….his tongue almost lazily circling your clit to hear you cry out some more…
You’ll have to be crying from overstimulation or yank at his hair to get him to take his mouth off you- and even then he still doesn’t want to let you go…yet.
#blah blah I’m rambling jsjsjsjjs#i think I fixed the couple of typos tho!#1 am thots~#obey me!#smut#x reader#diavolo x reader#diavolo smut#obey me smut#obey me diavolo x reader#om!#om! smut#obey me diavolo x chubby reader#obey me#om! diavolo#om! x reader#obey me x reader#obey me diavolo#dia <333
6K notes
·
View notes
Text

I like the new Easter update
#faceee rambles#dandys world#i have 1% research on her#how am i gonna get there#also no new art for now i gotta lock in and get her
580 notes
·
View notes
Note
Could you draw Mel and Breadhead annoying Ken by singing that music from the Barbie live action movie: I'm Just Ken?
anon you genius
#suri's ramble#ken the butcher#ken the gaslight district#the gaslight district#tgd#gaslight district#melancholy hill#mel tgd#tgd mel#tgd ken#tgd breadhead#breadhead#breadhead tgd#i drew this at 1 am after a 6 hour nap bear with me
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Indian Government: we are at the brink of war with Pakistan, so it is vital that we prepare our citizens for the possibility of air strikes and power outages. To this end, we will be conducting mock drills across the nation on at 4pm on May 7th. Just in case Pakistan starts a war with us
Indian Government: *launches missiles at Pakistan in the middle of the night*
#rem rambles#life stuff#india pakistan#pahalgam incident#Pahalgam terror attack#GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING#YOURE STARTING THE WAR BEFORE YOU TRAIN THE CITIZENS#to be clear I don’t support India launching the missives#but I live in a category 1 (high risk) city#and am kind of worried about how things are going#let a girl cope#operation sindoor
521 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing about charles leclerc is his hunger runs deep and i think that’s the place where sainz has never been able to match him
because objectively sainz is a pretty good driver but it’s like he views his drives as a separate entity, an accomplishment to be won where charles is his drive, he views them as an extension of himself
it’s why sainz so often after races will be placated with a p2, p3, p4, even p5 but even on a day when charles made up 16 places to go from the back of the grid to the podium he won’t be happy
i think their behavior after the race exemplifies this because while carlos immediately turned to congratulate mclaren, you could see charles was mourning something. and it’s not as if he was displaying bad sportsmanship, when they were in the cooldown room and on the podium he congratulated zak and lando, but those moments right after the race you could see he wasn’t even thinking about himself, or his own race, but what the team had lost
in the end, carlos sainz is a driver for ferrari while charles leclerc is a ferrari driver
#sorry#to ramble#but i just#i can NOT imagine this is what the dynamic will be like next year#and for that i am so grateful#charles leclerc#anti carlos sainz#f1#formula 1#cl16#cs55#abu dhabi gp 2024
927 notes
·
View notes
Text
"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
#that “you understand?” kills me everytime...#i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg#hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀#i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀#happy valentines too ig#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jay ferin#jrwi fish and chips#my art#i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm#sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah#it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu#-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night#and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my#brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls.....#my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
i love seeing out of context posts about long-running stories with deep lore because it's always shit like "MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! i can't believe that the metallic athenaeum's envoy actually used never-ending dance of the 57th universe on rionne as if she's not LITERALLY the incarnate of august?!?!" it's like buddy boy thank you for the spoiler tag but all of those words are incomprehensible without at least 5 years of foreshadowed knowledge, 7 different fan theories, and 21 wiki entries
#rambling#this post was about 3 different fandoms#number 1 was my friend trying to explain to me what was happening to dazai bungo stray dogs (i have not seen bungo stray dogs)#number 2 was ominscient reader viewpoint. anything tagged MAJOR SPOILERS for orv is either completely incomprehensible or like.#an image of someone interacting with a book. and somehow BOTH manage to be emotionally devastating in context#number 3 was me trying to explain genshin lore to a friend and realizing i sounded deranged saying shit like#“after the primoridal one fought the second who came celestia used nails to supposedly heal the land but enkanomiya still sank rip”#how did the wot fandom find this i am a gaming blog mostly..
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Late night wishful thinking but like
I think planting funky things around retention ponds should be more normalized!!
Like okay I get it retention ponds are meant to hold the runoff water from parking lots and drive throughs and the like so they aren’t exactly the cleanest water around. But like!!! Maybe this is different in other areas, but the only plants I ever see grow around retention ponds are cattails!! Which, like, are fine and great and dandy lets go cattails, but like
Where’s the whimsy?? Where are the flowers?? If I’ve got to see retention ponds whenever I go to a store or drive down the highway or pick up food for my mom, at least bring in some flowers!!
And it’ll benefit so much! A wider variety of plants can make it a more welcoming home to wildlife! Maybe the plants will filter some of the runoff stuff and the water can then be nicer for even more wildlife! Maybe the flowers can be a nice food source for butterflies and bees on their journeys and day trips!! And humans like seeing things be pretty!
Maybe its easier said than done! Maybe most places already do this and its just my city or state that doesn’t really I’d be willing to believe that! But lets get some color in these goddamn retention ponds!!
Swamp milkweed! Aquatic milkweed! Pickerelweed! Water lilies! Irises! Cardinalflower! Fuck it, put some goddamn duckweed in there!! Get some color in those things or so help me!!
#out of queue#ani rambles#solarpunk#gardening#pond gardening#‘ani why not just guerrilla garden in the retention ponds’ im not THAT good at starting plants#and ive yet to have success guerrilla gardening as is!!!#i think there should be like a volunteer group that just rocks up like ‘hey we’ll make your retention pond bomb as fuck and still functional#FOR FREE. and we can start next saturday!!!#also SOMEONE MANAGE THE INVASIVE PLANTS AROUND RETENTION PONDS!!!!#i saw a pond that I was 60% positive was surrounded by callery pear trees#i couldnt be 100% sure because I was actively driving but yknow!!!#‘oh all the water drains to here lets put a pond there to hold the draining water’ THATS HABITAT NOW#CARE FOR THE HABITAT YOUVE CREATED#YES I KNOW THIS IS A POND IN A WALMART PARKING LOT I DONT CARE. WHATS GOING ON IN THERE. BEAUTIFY IT#‘ani why dont you start the group’ idk much about growing aquatic/wetland plants#maybe ill bring it up if i ever go to a florida native plant society meeting who knows#its 1:30 am gnight
482 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love it when the two bands I like release new songs at the same time, best of both worlds I guess
#i had cenotaph and missilia amori on repeat for the last couple of days since the release but man damocles got me emotionally wrecked#it's like the type of song you sing at 1 am while having a crash out hoping that everything will be alright#the album isn't even out yet 😭#thank you mr. forge and mr. vessel sleep token#pomi rambles
316 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just had a huge realisation yesterday and I wanted to share this after going through some pretty horrible stuff over the weekend: Something I've always asked myself ever since getting into G1 Transformers was "why do you like Starscream so much even though he's a narcissistic bully? Why are you, someone who is a victim of narcissistic abuse, taking comfort in a narcissistic character?" Well, I think I finally figured it out. Because Starscream is also a victim of that very same abuse. I mean, he's beaten, called names, bullied, unappreciated, abused, and put through the wringer…and he internalised all that abuse because he knew no other way. He had no one to turn to, and the few bots who did support him, he treated like dirt. Once he had that freedom and power, he abused it and became the very thing that abused him. I have no doubt he was always self-centred, selfish, had a huge ego, etc. before all that but honestly? I think Megatron's abuse caused him to turn out the way he did. I could have turned out that way and it's a little scary, some of the parallels I'm drawing with him.
@ichbinmeltdown wrote a great analysis on Starscream that I want to share here:
"Megatron was abusive as hell to Starscream. He treated him horribly, and I legitimately almost cried a few times watching it. There's an episode called Starscream's Brigade that introduces the Combaticons, and I think that perfectly demonstrates the cycle of abuse. The entire world is against Starscream at pretty much every turn throughout the series, but none more so than Megatron. Every word out of his speech synthesizer to Starscream is to berate him, and he's constantly throwing him around, beating him, even ripping out his speech synthesizer in a scene from a previous episode (Hoist Goes Hollywood, IIRC). His own teammates don't like him, and even his brothers- Skywarp and Thundercracker, going off of the idea they're brothers- just... allow Megatron to abuse him. (Not to get into headcanons here, but I personally believe that Megatron's abuse fractured the Elite Trine's family dynamic. They are still brothers and love each other, but they're all too afraid of Megatron to really... stand up for each other as they did in the past.) And Starscream seemed to just snap in this episode. He treated the Combaticons poorly, and even when teaming up with Shockwave, he subjected him to a lot of the same ridicule and torment that Megatron put him through. He failed to realize Shockwave was the one of the only bots who would give him a chance- and unfortunately lashed out at him, which ruined his chances of Shockwave ever being a true friend and ally to him. Once Starscream had finally gotten a taste of power and not being under another bot's boot, he too became the very thing that he lived in fear of. And that really is how the cycle goes- when you're finally free from abuse, it can be tempting to overcompensate and take back all the power you were robbed of, at any cost whatsoever. Starscream, like D16 in Transformers One, snapped up this opportunity."
And the sad thing is, I've seen this in real life and I've internalised some of the abuse I've dealt with too. I'm not proud of it. Like the Seeker Trine, my own family dynamic has been fractured by similar abuse. I know there's traces of narcissism in my behaviour too, and I'm NOT proud of it. Maybe this is why I can forgive Starscream for being a narc, because I can see a little bit of my own personality/attitude/behaviour in him. Maybe it's because I know where it came from, I get why he acts that way and it's not just random and out of the blue. Maybe it's because--and I know this is a bold statement--I don't think he would do some of the stuff my own family did to me (blah blah blah he's a fictional character).
I didn't mean for this to turn into a long rant, so
TLDR: I finally figured out that part of the reason I love and relate to Starscream so much despite him internalising some of the abuse I went through, is because he was the victim of that same abuse.
#transformers#g1 transformers#starscream#g1 starscream#seriously I just wanna give him a hug and tell him I love him#I know I know he's a villain#IT'S COMPLICATED OKAY#1 AM rambles
376 notes
·
View notes
Text
DPxDC Danny/Jason Soulmates AU WIP
-
Jason's timer read 044389:21:08, when the display suddenly went dark. 44,389 hours. Five years, 24 days, 13 hours, 21 minutes, and 8 seconds until he was fated to meet his soulmate.
Or not. Because the time stopped.
It wasn’t supposed to happen. He did his research, and with the resources at his disposal (namely, a batcomputer,) he knew for a fact that there should be no way to defy the fate of a timer. People had tried. Avoidance, isolation, putting a hit out on your own suspected soulmate. Nothing worked. Trying to delay the inevitable put you on the path to meet it. Sure, there were people who lamented the unfairness of their own situation, who were devastated they never got time with their soulmate, famous deaths on opposite sides of a battle, etc. But soulmates always, always met eachother, face to face.
Not him, though. His soulmate was dead. Five years early.
Bruce didn’t get it. Dick wouldn’t talk about it. Alfred only looked at him with pity in his eyes.
Jason wasn’t sad that he was the only person on the planet who’d never meet his soulmate. He was fucking angry, because it wasn’t fucking fair. It was another person in his life who was supposed to care about him that he’d never get to have.
So when he found out he had a mom, somewhere out there, who he’d never had the chance to meet… he had to go. How could he not?
-
It was Sam who noticed, when it happened. Danny had just finished a stupid fight with Boxy, and he, Sam, and Tucker were finally ready to call it a night. Danny de-transformed and grinned, shaking the thermos proudly. “Gonna get these guys back into the Ghost Zone,” he said, when suddenly-
“Danny!” Sam yelped, and snatched at his arm.
Danny stumbled, nearly dropping his precious cargo. “Whoa, Sam, what-?’ he stopped, looking as she turned over his arm, baring his wrist.
His timer was dark, like people who’s soulmates were dead. The numbers still showed, faintly, but they were stationary. The countdown had stopped.
Ice spread through Danny’s veins, like the cold that rushed through him when he went ghost, but worse, so much worse.
Danny’s ghost form didn’t have a timer, which honestly freaked him out, but as a human it had always behaved completely normally. When he turned back, it would be there, the time having elapsed just the way it was supposed to. It had been so reassuring. He was alive. He’d make it at least five more years, and be able to meet his soulmate, who would hopefully be able to accept him the way he was. He wanted that so badly. He wanted someone beyond his friends to talk to, to know him as a person and a ghost. He wanted to not be afraid anymore.
He’d just passed the five year mark, not that long ago. He’d been so excited to be that much closer to someone so important.
And now something was horribly wrong.
“Dude, that’s jacked up,” Tucker said, noticing the problem with wide eyes.
“Did anything happen today?” Sam asked, her expression hardened with determination. “Did you notice anything weird while you were transformed?”
Danny shook his head. “No, no it- it was running while we were at school, and we’ve been fighting ghosts since then. I don’t know when it would’ve…” Danny could barely make himself speak. “Is it my fault?” he said, almost to himself. “Did I spend too much time as a ghost and it just-”
Sam gripped at his hand. “No, Danny, it isn’t your fault. Whatever the problem is, we’re going to figure it out, okay?”
“Yeah man,” Tucker added, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, maybe your parents can actually help this time? Weird magic science is kinda their thing, right?”
Sam looked less sure, but nodded all the same. “You’re going to meet your soulmate. Okay?”
“Okay,” Danny said, quiet, looking down at the stopped numbers on his wrist.
-
Edit: Added a readmore
#calling this a wip because it's obviously just set up but i haven't worked on this since i wrote it#i actually wrote it because of a prompt on a dead on main event week but never posted anything then#so i may as well now#timer soulmate angst! my favorite#danny phantom#dc#batfam#dpxdc#dp x dc#dead on main#long post#not quite long enough for a readmore i dont think but if anybody complains I'll add one#my rambles#my writing#fanfic#soulmate au#soulmate timers#edit: what was I thinking of course it needs a readmore#this is why we don't post at 1 am folks
578 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just KNOW Leviathan humps the bed while he eats you out 🤒
Nsfw!
I can confirm Levi definitely does 🤭 nobody come for me I typed this out quick!! goodnight <3
Levi’s just so fucking desperate for you. He’s already half hard when you mention that you want him to eat you out- that’s all it takes. he only gets harder when you’re spread out in front of him.
It’s just so hot, seeing your pussy dripping with slick, because of him- it’d be weird if he wasn’t hard!! as he eats you out his hip mindlessly start rutting against the bed.
Levi is a messy eater too, (again he just can’t help it) his long, forked, tongue drags across every part of your pussy, bullying your sensitive spots and mapping out the fastest ways to make you cum, his cool lips latch onto your clit and suck on the poor sensitive bud causing your back to arch and press into his face even more.
By the time you’ve cum once Levi’s already cum at least twice, his underwear is soaked with his own cum but it feels so good, too good- way too good to stop.
Really he just can't stop, not now. Not when your fingers are tangled in his hair, tugging him even closer as your slick and his drool cover the bottom half of his face and your moans fill the air, your sweet voice telling him how good he is at eating you out-
Honestly Levi just loves eating your pussy because it gets him so hard and makes him cum a lot and seeing you turn into a babbling mess just from his tongue is so fucking hot~
#I’m rambling but I’m not sorry (this time) lolol#1 am thots~#levi <333#obey me levi x reader#obey me smut#om! smut#om! levi x reader#om! leviathan#leviathan x reader#levi smut#leviathan smut#levi x reader#obey me!#smut#x reader smut#x reader#om!
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
(tw for extensive discussions of dubiously consensual sexual situations, typical to canon. also spoilers for the decay route update)
honestly, one of the most interesting aspects of andrew's psyche that we get to see in the most recent decay route update to me is his nearly unending hesitancy about having sex with ashley, despite both his overwhelming desire to AND her incredibly blasé, Yeah Sure Let's Do It attitude in response to the question.
while the end of the burial route provides some key insight into ashley's point of view regarding this topic (e.g. if you go with the less enthusiastic/more teasing answer to andrew's question of "we're not like that, right? right??"), and the shots & such ending provides even more intrigue into her motivations, i think that decay presents two key reasons as to why andrew has continued to hold back for so long: his two core conflicting desires, and an inability to see ashley as her own full person. notably, both of these parts can easily be connected to his mother's childhood abuse and parentification of him as well.
with regards to the first point: andrew has two main overwhelming desires at the heart of his character that motivate most of his actions, which unfortunately for him are completely incompatible. andrew wants:
to be a normal, average person-- someone who can hold a steady, respectable job, fit in at the block party BBQs, and not attract any negative attention from the neighbors.
to fuck his sister.
to some degree, you could even read the distinction between the two main routes themselves (burial and decay) to be motivated by whether or not andrew can diffuse the tension between these two wants-- in burial, he gives up on his need to fit in with the rest of respectable society, presumably pushing him more towards the fucking-his-sister route; in decay, he struggles significantly to let go of this desire for normalcy, and the stress almost always breaks him. notably, in neither of these routes can he fully give up on the second desire-- really, his relationship with julia and the rest of his life up til the point that ep1 begins has been about him trying and failing to do so, so this makes sense.
(sidenote: i would also like to clarify that i think the Most key distinction between these two routes comes down to the decision you actually have to make to get one or the other-- namely, whether or not the siblings are able to trust one another. but anyways)
this focus on the first desire for normalcy is also interesting in that it seems to be one of the core desires that renee holds as well, as we see her so happily boast about during their interactions in ep2. honestly i could probably write a whole post about how much andrew (consciously or, more often, not) mimics his mother's behavior and takes on her standards and ideals, but the key point to pay attention to here is the fact that andrew has subsumed his mother's viewpoint in such a way that he is either not fully aware of or simply hasn't questioned in all that much depth yet.
we can also see this with the aforementioned parentifiication, which has really interesting consequences on how much andrew does (not) see ashley as her own autonomous person. pretty much every single childhood flashback we get in 3a shows the same terrible cycle:
andrew is told by renee that ashley is His responsibility -> ashley causes problems on purpose -> andrew takes the fall for her
frankly, we don't even really need that first step for andrew to fully internalize the idea that ashley's actions are His to take responsibility for. the horrible consequences of this are also quite obvious: not only is this pressure to take responsibility for someone else's actions an incredibly unfair burden to put on anyone, much less a kid, but it also continually pushes andrew to see ashley as something less than human, or as little more than an extension of himself rather than her own person.
the main conflict in decay really comes down to this conflicting desire between the two of them, where what both andrew and ashley want above all else is Complete and Utter control over the other-- andrew wanting control because he has again been groomed to see ashley as his full responsibility, and ashley wanting control to assuage her own insecurities and fears about being isolated and hated forever. the more sympathetic throughline underlying a lot of this is that what both of them seem to want is safety, to protect both themselves and each other from any and all situations outside of their control-- though, unfortunately, a lot of times those exact external situations are simply the other acting on this mirrored desire for control lol.
anyways, going back to the sex thing-- since andrew doesn't see ashley as her own person, since he sees her as incapable of taking responsibility for her own actions and therefore as someone who cannot make decisions for herself, due in large part to him automatically transferring this burden to himself, andrew also sees ashley's consent as essentially meaningless.
the more sympathetic reading here is that andrew does genuinely want ashley to be at least kinda into it as more than a manipulation tactic/transactional thing-- but i think it's also equally likely that andrew simply doesn't want to have to once again shoulder the full burden of Committing Incest on his own, and he doesn't trust ashley to ever be even capable of taking the fall for her own actions. the fact that andrew still ultimately sees ashley as Leyley and NEVER as Ashley Proper (as he himself recognizes at one point) really just reinforces this to me. he says it himself-- he practically raised this woman. and in this case, even above all others, ashley's actions are quite literally also his own. it all goes back to that initial mistrust, and he carries that resentment with him even after they get around to actually doing it. mutually dubious consent, truly in-fucking-deed.
#tcoaal#astronaut rambles#the coffin of andy and leyley#coffincest#gravecest#writing this in a rush at 1/2 am cuz i have an early class tomorrow and need to go to bed aklsdjflasjk hope this is coherent#wanna write more about the shots and such ending too and esp ashley's behavior there#namely that whole line about how 'you had Good Sex one time when she was wasted'#'but she had a meltdown the next day and you've been chasing that high ever since'#cuz uh. HMM.#really her side to this is equally interesting to me#and especially what it says about how she's internalized her own view of gender roles#but aaa later later i really need to fucking sleep ;w;#GOD but i still can’t believe they literally fucking said#andrew: ‘i don’t wanna fuck you cuz i’d feel like i’m forcing you into it even if i’m not ://’#ashley: ‘OK i’ll just be the one to force you into it instead 😌’#incredible solution girl. problem solving queen
216 notes
·
View notes