#1 I was hoping for was cool makeup. the makeup that Is included looks kinda shit in the screenshots on their website :)

[gayvampcentral]

did they (EA) Genuinely release a fucking. goth kit without including any hairstyles. and without any band shirts. are you kidding me this collection of items is SO bad.

[ninjagirlstar5]

Kiyoka 🤝 SDRA2!Teruya

Having a cowboy aesthetic

Yeah, for Kiyoka, I decided to push the cowboy vibes with her cause I think it's neat that she has a cowboy hat but is never seen with it in her sprite work so I went, "Haha, cowboy go brrr." Considering Kiyoka is a natural professional at any sort of range weapon without even trying, I think this aesthetic suits her a bit more than anything related to the military cause 1.) there's no indication she's related to the military, unlike Haru who's interests include the military and 2.) she never asked for her talent, it just fuckin' happened. It makes me wonder how she even became the Ultimate Sniper. Did she just enter competitions on a whim, decimated her opponents, and Hope's Peak just went, "Yep, that one. That one right there." Either way, since Kiyoka has a cowboy hat, I decided to go with that aesthetic since it feels more casual and cause she'd probably find it cool! So I gave her sprite her cowboy hat with a bit of more details, and changed her shoes to boots. Kiyoka is interesting cause she's clearly pretty feminine in how she talks about makeup and fashion magazines, while she's wearing pants, sneakers, and has a sweater tied around her waist in her OG sprite. Which makes me think that she leans more towards feminine but prefers pants and such. So I kept that vibe for her as I changed her design, keeping her pants but shortening the length to her knees. The top part of her design was changed the most as the shirt had been tied into a knot and I shortened her sleeves. But of course, I added a black tank top with stripes to reference her outfit in her concept art underneath her tied shirt as I didn't want to show off too much skin since, again, she's a teenager. But I do feel like Kiyoka would be the type of person to like showing off a bit of skin and have the confidence to do it. I also think she'd go out and get herself a tan hence why her skin is darker here than her canon sprite, and I gave her makeup. I kept her hair length, but change it's style into a ponytail and have it a drill-style like her bang(s). Since in the IF illustration Kiyoka cut her hair and lacks her drills, she probably styles her hair this way on purpose. Probably because she saw the style and liked it. (Even if this is true, I think it's a shame that she doesn't have them anymore as I think it helps her stand out a bit more.) I actually wasn't sure how to do her ponytail at first cause making it clear that there's a ponytail in a front-facing sprite like this can be kinda hard and I didn't want to make it a top ponytail cause that styles gives a more professional vibe that Kiyoka just does not have (unlike Akane who takes her job seriously), and a low ponytail can get lost in the design because it's hidden by most of the body (just like Sora's regular sprite or even my redesign of S.O.R.A. for my Protag Teruya AU). But after looking through some references on Google, I was struck with inspiration when I saw the ponytail-over-the-shoulder style and knew what I wanted to do. It allowed me to show off her drill-style hair more while keeping it loose cause that's who Kiyoka is: a casual girl that wants to be normal and have fun. I gave her scrunchies, and with that said and done, I changed her necklace cause having a gear necklace didn't? Make much sense?? For her character? Like, there's no significance and it's kinda just there. So I made it into a regular bead necklace instead since I felt like that was more up her alley. I also changed her jacket into a button-up with a plaid pattern and gave her black tights underneath her pants and boots to match her tank top. And that's it!

Now, that's fifteen people done! All that's left is...is...oh no.

[luvly-writer]

“You are my sunshine”

Part 1: Introductions

——————————————

Jason Todd x Latina! Reader

Social media Au

Summary: Whilst fighting a magical being, a vision of a girl, to be precise Jason’s soulmate, is shown to the batfamily.

Warnings: none

Series: Finished

Author’s note: hi!! First chapter kinda nervoussss ;)! this idea came to me when i was quite literally taking a shower and i just went “yk what? i can develop that into something cool” so i took the challenge! Hope you enjoy!!

Taglist: @lorosette

(to be included in taglist, just ask and it will be done!)

Series Masterlist:

————————————

- written part between pictures-

-this is Y/n L/n

-she is an architect

-roommates with her best friend Nola Yang

-likes to read and travel

-she’s latina, born on PR and raised in Gotham

-uses twitter way too much

-self made woman, managed to make a wealthy living bc. of her job <3

-Nola Yang

- Photograher, model and editor

-well known

-Euroasian

- Yn and her have gone viral on tik tok a few times because of their adventures

-Gothamite

-believes Batman is a myth and will say it to his face

-coffee addict

——————now for the story——————————

Originally this as supposed to be an EASY mission

Some unusual activity had been seen on the east side of Gotham in the fields, so naturally they’d go

This time, it had been Steph and Damian assigned to go while the others kept patrol

Barbara on the comns

All the areas had been divided

then, Barbara got the emergency signal that something had gone wrong

and we’ll it all went down hill from there

Tim and Dick got there first

Then Bruce and Cass

Finally, Duke and Jason arrived

They had no fkn clue who they were fighting, but they were fighting alright.

The people didn’t seem to be on offense, on the other hand, they were just either avoiding their strikes or blocking them

It didn’t make sense why they were fighting them or why Damian sounded the emergency line

The people had light blue skin and dark grey cloaks, they had dark blue lines on their arms and purple eyes.

It wasn’t until one of them got to touch Jason that all went black.

Images were displayed as if they were distant memories

Two girls giggling in a living room could be seen, one Eurasian girl and the other, a y/h/c, a latina.

One was seated on a couch eating ice cream while the other presented what it looks like to be a power point on why Dracula from Hotel Transylvania is actually a dilf. (Nola: blue| Yn: Pink)

“Ok ok, take me seriously”

“I CANT” she said wheezing and almost out of breathe with laughter

“I SWEAR I HAVE A POINT!”

- suddenly the memory changes-

the focus is not on the latina girl, she is walking down the street talking on the phone:

“Si mami lo sé, siiiii i know i know, i did iron my clothes for the meeting, and yes my hair is fine and yes you can tell abuelita that I did put some light makeup on for it, ‘sta bn mama, te amo! Adiós, bendición”

She was dressed in some business casual clothes that really suited her as she finished her call and got into a building

it changes once again, to the same girl with the other one from the first memory waking down the a busy street, this one not being in gotham

“Paris, what a beautiful city!”

“Ik! Capitalism really popped off today with this funded trip from Gotham U! You think Bruce Wayne was behind this?”

“probably, after all, we both are the Wayne Enterprise scholarship winners and as long as we don’t have to pay, I’m good!”

“Amen to that!”

the memory changes to a final one

they are found in a Wayne Charity gala

Both girls are dressed up to the max, the Eurasian girl with a red dress while the Latina girl with a black one.

Both are in a corner with flash cards in their hands

“Feeling nervous?”

“As nervous as I can be seeing as we have to present in front of a bunch of rich old people”

“It’s a requirement from the scholarship, we have to thank Bruce Wayne for his generosity 🙄”

“I just thought it would be easier but now i’m feeling kinda sick”

“it’ll be alright, we’ll go to batburger after and marathon GOT once we are done”

“You know that because of this we HAVE to be of attendance to these things at least once a year to showcase how wELL tHe WayNe sChOlArs dO”

“fuck😀”

both girls burst out laughing and keep the conversation going

images of the y/h/c girl pass quickly, of trips, childhood pictures, random pictures until it all fades to black

when their eyesight finally focuses, all of the batfam members are found on the floor sitting down with the weird people staring at them

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” screamed Damian, furious that they got the upper hand

He is the only one to sharpen his senses the fastest aside from Bruce

the rest were slightly in a daze and when everyone finally cleared up, they were able to notice that the strange people were pointing at Jason

They tensed up

“Relax friends. We come with news and no harm” said they but that didn’t ease their worry

“The girl-“ their attention was caught seeing as they were all wondering who she was

“she is important to him”

Now Jason was confused, he didn’t fkn know this girl

“You know her, Hood?” asked Bruce

“No”

with that, their confusion worsened and their defenses rose

“she’s not a person of his now, if not a person of tomorrow. She will be the light to his darkness, the ying to his yang, the one to soothe your mind, Jason Todd”

aaaaand they were on high alert again

WHO. THE FUCK. WHERE. THEY!?!?

“she is the soul that had been paired with yours, your match. This meeting had been predestined long ago to happen. Search for her, and everything you’re looking for will be found”

“Let me get this straight!” Tim interrupted “the girl, is HIS soulmate?”

The people nodded in agreement (which was weird bc they were strangely coordinated)

“she will bring much joy, to not only him, but to all of you as well, she is important” one spoke and with those words they all banished

“Ok, raise your hand if you are confused as fuck” said Steph and everyone except Bruce and Jason raised their hands

“We quite literally just met his soulmate! How do you feel Jase?” asked Dick

Jason was in shock

He had a soulmate?

Seeing as Jason had not answered, Bruce placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezed it in a reassuring way as instructed that patrol had been done for the night.

Once in the cave, everyone had showered and changed yet no one wanted to sleep. They were all curious so the set to find who this mystery girl was.

With a house full of detectives with access to anything in the internet (and the Wayne archives) they were able to find her in less that an hour

True enough she was a Wayne Scholar and has been going to the galas for years now with her friend

How did they not noticed?

Were they too involved in their own complaining and planning of getting out that they never got to see her

It was easy to find her socials, and even if it was a little stakish, they all followed her

Now the questing of when and how they’ll actually meet her began

Luckily Alfred came downstairs to remind them thy it was enough and they should eat something and go to sleep, when he provided an answer

the spring gala was coming up, and she was e invited.

so for now, they would just see how she was through her socials.

<3

[shotorozu]

hii!!! i have a lil request! its smth ive been thinking a lot about bc i love him so much, but how do u think shoto would be with someone whos like super counter-culture? like super goth or punk or gyaru or smth! im personally really into goth and have lots of facial piercings including some that are not super common like angel fangs as well as a bunch of tattoos, brightly dyed hair and dress kinda trad goth on the regular w bones and all that.

i can kinda see him maybe catching interest in someone whos so outside of the norm in style as a way to kinda fuck w his dad since he grew up so traditionally and all that, but also he seems like he'd be too kind to actually follow through with dating someone solely to spite his dad.

skfbdidjd idk! i just kinda wanna hear other ppls thoughts on it! i hope u have a good holiday season and a good new year!

(gender neutral reader, no pronouns mentioned— i tried to be very broad when it came to describing aspects of aesthetics)

ohh i think shouto being with someone that’s super counter culture is an interesting concept

before meeting them, he’d probably walk past them— his future s/o decked out in super cool accessories (including piercings), tattoos and dyed hair, and his neck would almost SNAP due to how fast he looked back at them 😭😭

it’s a culture shock, he obviously isn’t used to people that are so.. non-traditional? if he brought you in front of his dad then his dad would probably freeze up (ironically) and get sent to the hospital in an ambulance.

he’d be in awe just by looking at them standing, breathing, doing nothing— the wrist guards (solely for aesthetics, a shock for shouto since he needs those in the heroics) leg warmers, colorful hairpins, intricate and one of the kind hairstyles—

your overall fashion sense has him gawking.

it’s almost rude (and is about to become that way) the way he’s just opening staring at you like some kid on an airplane— but y’know, he’s kinda cute so you don’t make much of it. on top of that, you should probably mind your business, and not start some beef with the current #1 hero’s youngest and also famous son.

when he gets to know you more, he finds himself liking you— whether or not your personality aligns perfectly with your chosen aesthetic, or it’s the polar opposite, he finds himself sticking to you like some lost puppy.

it’s a perfect 50:50 of “i think your personality is cool” and “i need to follow you because i need to look at you more. you LOOK cool”

so he dates you for the reasons above and also because he wants to piss off his dad— because again, looking at you could send endeavor into a shock. (and he dates you genuinely because he actually really likes you and wouldn’t use you without your consent just to spite his very traditional father)

all backstory aside, he goes to you when he needs advice to level up his appearance— that includes fashion. anything you say is noteworthy, and he will absolutely take any advice as long as you say it.

he also comes to you for advice for piercings especially.

yeah, because y’know how it looked like he had some cartilage piercings in some of the latest official arts? he definitely went to you to ask for the pain level and aftercare.

“will it hurt?”

“yeah.. it’s cartilage after all. what if you got a lobe piercing first? you don’t have one.”

“i trust you. :)) so i’ll get one if you say so.”

he would’ve made you pierce his ears— or he did make you. it depends on how okay, and experienced you are with it. (and even if you weren’t— he’d still want you to do it 💀 it’s a good thing you could say no)

he’d also want to know the backstory behind any of your tattoos if you have any.

and he’d also want to try everything with you— that includes touching up your hair dye, getting new clothes, painting your nails, doing your makeup— the endless amount of things he’s willing to do with you, and assist you with 😭 i need someone like that

anyways, besides everything fashionable— he is your number one defender.

someone (for some stupid reason) said out loud “when i think of todoroki, i can’t imagine him being with someone like Y/N..”

and before anyone could say anything else, he just blankly replies with

“when i think of you, i can’t imagine you with anyone.”

that causes everybody to shut up, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from breaking into a smile.

he’s ruthless sometimes 😭

[grizzlyofthesea]

Dumb Vocaloid Headcanons Part 1: Internet Co.

All

Andriods/robots of various levels of human resemblance

Voicebank upgrades correspond to hardware upgrades.

Primarily made for music, but they also have combat skills.

Each one has a unique music-related weapon/ability, which I'll elaborate on in another post. (I got this idea from the manga Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter. It's...an experience. Kinda chaotic, and the translation I found isn't always the clearest, but it's cute, harmless fun focused on the first few Internet Co. Vocaloids. If you want to see himbo Gackpo in a fundoshi, this is the manga for you.)

Generally get along well with the Cryptonloids

One huge, generally happy family

Camui Gackpo (Gackpoid)

The most robotic/android-like of the bunch in terms of physical structure, but good gosh, does he have feelings

His "bodysuit" is just what his body looks like (he can morph it into a more human-looking appearance, though), and that weird glowy spot on his chest is his power core.

Can change his eye and power core colors at will

Has a whole army of eggplant horses

A chivalrous gentleman, but he has his goofy moments

An expert in hair care

Cishet ally

Dating/in love with GUMI

GUMI (Megpoid)

Huge science and sci-fi nerd

Has a visible battery gauge on each of her designs, which takes the form of a red jewel. It blinks when her battery is running low. (another idea from Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter)

BFFs with Miku, Luka, Lily, and CUL

Owns a carrot rocket equipped with missiles

Her goggles have several functions, including night vision, tracking, and looking cool.

Lives for the aesthetics of the 1960s-1980s

A little bit scatterbrained, but she tries

Hoping that everyone else (or at least Gackpo and Una) joins her on VOCALOID6 and gets an AI voicebank

Bisexual

Dating/in love with Gackpo

Lily

Beta/production name was Yuripoid (not actually, but in my headcanon). This didn't stick for multiple reasons.

Her tattoo doubles as a battery meter, "draining" from top to bottom as her power depletes.

Likes lollipops (yet another idea from Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter)

The "cool older sister" of the group

Infamous for speeding on her motorcycle

Keeps a couple of beehives, from which she harvests honey

Demi/heteroromantic asexual

Exchanges makeup tips with Gackpo

Ryuto (Gachapoid)

Obsessed with dinosaurs, to the point where he has memorized every species

Basically GUMI's little brother

His arm warmers serve to make his elbow joints slightly less obvious; his shoes do the same thing for his ankles.

Favorite meal is dino nuggies with waffle fries

Friends with Yuki and Oliver

Really wants a pet puppy

Favorite holiday is Halloween

Big fan of FNAF, even if it scares him sometimes

A little bit self-conscious about his buck teeth

Always carries a notebook and markers with him in his backpack

CUL

Huge Madoka Magica fan; cried at Sayaka's death

Doesn't always get along with her sisters, but she loves them all dearly

Gets into arguments with Gackpo over who "stole" the other's hairstyle

Her eyes double as cameras

Favorite foods are Pocky and tempura shrimp

Shops exclusively at thrift stores and Hot Topic

Knows all the jokes about her name's meaning in French; not amused at all

Lesbian; has a bit of a crush on flower

Secretly collects porcelain dolls

galaco

Huge space nerd

Loves to nerd out over space with GUMI

Has always wanted to be a princess

Has jet boots; can use them to float in place or skate around

The first one to lack any visibly robotic traits

BFFs with MAYU

Loves listening to video game soundtracks

Aroace

Plays a lot of TF2 in her spare time; mains Demoman

kokone

Kind of shy, especially around new people

Huge book nerd; favorite genre is fantasy

LOVES animals

Favorite food is raindrop cake

Surprisingly big fan of horror movies

Gets cold easily

Likes to do prank phone calls with GUMI; they switch places periodically, pretending to be the same person

Trans girl (pronouns are she/her); polysexual

Wants to write and illustrate her own manga series

Rana

Technically developed by We've Inc. as a collab with Internet Co., but since she's the only one from We've Inc, the Internet Co. crew includes her as one of their own.

Really wants to be a magical girl; has designed her own weapon and transformation device

Has a massive collection of teddy bears

Practically lives in her hoodie

Feels a bit weird about being literally 0 years old, but tries to ignore it

Sugar cookies make her life worth living

Carries a variety of glitter with her at all times

Chika

The mom friend

Has regular lunch outings with Mew and MEIKO

A talented tailor

Lives for vintage clothing

Has an entire cupboard full of various herbal teas

A little bit disappointed about her unpopularity, but she has mostly accepted it at this point

Tends a butterfly garden

Cishet ally

Really good at cooking and baking

Otomachi Una

Her hat is alive.

Views Rana as a rival; Rana doesn't really care

Looks up to GUMI

Can hold her breath for ten minutes

Tends a koi pond

Loves to experiment with different hair dyes

Sometimes wears fake glasses for the sake of fashion

Owns a swimmable mermaid tail (fades from indigo to lime green, then cotton candy pink); loves showing it off

Just beginning to question her sexuality

Will eat every piece of cheesecake in a five mile radius

ROSA

A CeVIO/upcoming SynthV vocal rather than a Vocaloid, but since she was made in collaboration with Internet Co. and CUL is her older sister, she hangs out with the Internet Co. crew often

Gets along well with Gackpo for their shared love of traditional Japanese culture

Insists that she "was born in the wrong generation"

Loves rose-flavored macarons, but her favorite food is salmon nigiri

Gets picked on by some of her older sisters, so she has learned to be a bit sassy as a defense mechanism

Genderfaer (pronouns are she/her and occasionally they/them); pansexual

In the process of collecting all of the Vocaloid Nendoroids (except the Miku ones; there are way too many)

[rozu-minaki]

Hello🐹 I has a request- some of the MHA/BNHA boys that get hard when his fem!S/O puts on lip gloss? like- the shine that it gives her lips would look so good around his hard cock :)

other details- non-hero!UA and this is NOT to fetishize black people!!! (I'm black anyway)

only if you're comfortable and if requests are open 😊

remember to drink water and eat daily ☺

Omg my first request- okay okay so I’m gonna try my best because this is my first request and full blown drabble post so yea! I wasn’t sure which characters to pick so I just went with the ones I think would fit well with this! As always characters are aged up. Hope u enjoy! And yes requests are open! warnings: basically some smut and some small fluff

Iida: oohhh man this dude did not expect you to put on lip gloss, especially in that pretty pink glittery shade. You two were enjoying your day waltzing around town when you stopped to use a public restroom and while he was outside waiting you had an idea and decided to use an expensive gloss momo had bought you a while back. You slicked it on your lips and walked out innocently as if you didn’t know what you were doin. Iida hadn’t noticed until you started talking about getting some food when he saw those pretty lips and instantly felt his pants become uncomfy. Needless to say, he pulled you into a cafe and shoved you into the bathroom where well you got covered in some Other kinda white substance ;>

Bakugou: you two were expected at a party and as usual you had taken longer then him not our fault the man takes less time to get ready 🙄. Anywho, you had gotten all dolled up in a pretty red dress and black heels. You were just finishing up your makeup when you saw the gloss youve had but never used, so without thought you decided to put it on since the shade was a nice touch to your makeup and outfit. While bakugou was sitting on the couch on his phone he heard the bedroom door cream open and the clicks of your heels walking over. He finally looked up from his phone to ask if your dumbass was finally ready when he stopped mid sentence to see those pretty red lips. So he stood up, slung you over his shoulder and carried you back into the bedroom you came from, party long forgotten.

Izuku: Today was yours and Izukus date as a 1 year anniversary so you wanted to go all out. Pretty outfit pretty hair pretty everything. You used all your favorite makeup products including that signature glittery lip gloss you wore only on special occasions. You covered your lips and puckered them up and basically hyped your beautiful ass up cause girlboss obviously. Once you got ready you heard a knock at your door to which you went to anwser and saw izuku in his gorgeous suit and tie and flowers ready in hand. Of course the boy was shy and stumbled over his words to ask if you were ready. You nodded and began to follow him out to the car. You both had a wonderful date however when you two had gotten to his place was when the fun began. You two went inside and basically went at it like rabbits, clothes flying, hands gripping in every place, and that’s when he was ontop of you that he said he did not want that pretty gloss go to waste. Needless to say he woke up with kisses all over him especially in the lower region <3

Todoroki: Shoto being the sweet boy he was planned a little getaway to a flower field since he knew you both were interested in nature and such. He had gotten ready first and while waiting for you he took a small nap to rest up before the long drive there. You on the otherhand had different plans. You had prepared a cute cottage core like outfit with light makeup and some added on freckles, you were trying to go for a fairy/elf look. So obviously you wanted to look glowy and mysterious and what better shimmery thing to use then lip gloss. You put on your favorite shimmery pink tint one and was on your way to wake up sho. When you did though he just sat and stared for a moment before asking “Did I die or something why is there an angel in front of me???” You had giggled and thanked him for the compliment (though he actually thought you were) and got him up and you two were on your way to the flower field. Needless to say you got railed in a very pretty setting with lip gloss smudged all over shotos face and body.

Kirishima: Kirishima had been watching you do your makeup for a while now, just admiring your features before and after and enjoying every second of it. He had said his occasional yet meaningful compliment everytime you did a new part of the makeup but when he saw you grab the one weakness product he was done for. You hadn’t noticed for a while now but whenever you used that gloss it drove Kiri mad. The way he only pictured your pretty lips rapped around his red riot dick with your eyeliner smudged just made the man go insane with lust. He had been staring for a while now so when you asked if he was alright all he could say was “ please let me fuck you” to which you were surprised but happily agreed and let him do what he had been fantasizing about everytime you wore that dammed gloss.

Shinsou: It was a date set at a cat cafe obviously. You two had been snuggling cats and sipping coffee for a while now when you realized your gloss had lost its touch so you reapplied it and that’s when he saw it in all its glory, oh how he wished you had been under him whining about how it was to much and that all he could say was that you could take it like a good kitty. He was now in a daze when he felt you poke his cheek and he just smirked and began to whisper seductive words in your ear and you just had to play it cool since others were around, only allowing the occasional blush and whine here and there. When you two got home however was when the real fun began and his fantasy became a reality.

Ack! I’m so sorry this is so bad- it’s like 1am rn and this isn’t proofread so if theres any mistakes or anything you’d like changed or someone added please let me know as I’m open to (kind) criticism! I hope you enjoyed none the less though thanks for the request love <3

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 1

a/n: ok, this chapter is very dialogue heavy lmao, but yolo. (feedback is always welcome, feel free to send asks about the series, i would absolutely love to talk about it.) i’m also kinda debating to have a ‘sticking it’ blurb night sometime soon?? anyways i hope you all enjoy this one 

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23​ (if you want to be added, just send me an ask)

warnings: uh, kathryn? that can be considered a warning i think, swearing, i think that’s it? if i missed anything lmk 

sticking it masterlist

wc: 3.2k

(gif not mine)

“You want me to go where with you?” Joel asked the group in front of him.

“My cousin has a gymnastics meet and we were wondering if you wanted to go with us tonight after practice?” Kevin repeated for the third time. 

“Dude, you have to come. These things are surprisingly super fun, it’s not hockey and there’s no physical fighting, but it’s still pretty cool,” Travis said, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Are you guys going to keep asking until I say yes?” to which Kevin, Nolan, and TK all nodded their heads. “Fine, I’ll go.”

“Ok, sweet. Karly is planning on coming, too, so I’ll just meet you guys there,” Travis interjected as he grabbed his practice bag. 

“We’ll pick you up around 4:30, we have to get there early since Pat has to give his pep talk, all traditional stuff, yada, yada, yada,” Kevin said. 

“Yeah, okay, just let me know when you’re on your way,” Joel said as the two of them went to their cars. 

…..

“y/n, I don’t understand why you’re still worried, your knee will be fine,” Nicole reassured you as the two of you walked into the arena, “Adrian already said you’ve been out for long enough and he’s waiting to hear news of the y/n y/l/n revenge tour, you can’t let him down, dude.”

You rolled your eyes, “well, Adrian can suck it up, he’ll be fine.”

“Ok, that’s how you want to be, then tell Marcus and Michelle that you’re scratching every event today. It’s fine by me, you’re my competition, but good luck petitioning onto the Olympic team after that,” Nicole said, walking ahead of you towards the locker rooms to get dressed. 

“Wait, Nic, stop,” you quickly followed after her, “Your reverse psychology isn’t going to work on me, but I’m not scratching every event.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, babes, you have to realize you’re going to be okay and getting in your head about it will only push you back ten steps. And I missed having actual competition,” Nicole caught the small smile on your face in the mirror, “ok, we honestly have to get ready if we want to have time in the tunnels before we compete.” 

Grabbing your garment bag that held your competition leo and warm-ups in, you started to get ready. Quickly getting your leo on, you took note of how beautiful the new leo was. A navy blue, long sleeve leo with mesh sleeves and rhinestone decals or as Michelle always called it ‘all blinged out’. Once you put on your warm up pants, you did a light makeup look that was pretty much just eye shadow and mascara and then pulled your hair up in a tight, but simple messy bun. 

“Are your boys coming tonight?” Nicole asked, meeting you by the door of the locker room. “Yeah, you know Kevin wouldn’t miss it, but I don’t know if anyone else is coming,” you replied. 

“Oh, well Nolan better be here, you need your pep talk,” Nicole added which made you laugh, “okay, well I’m going to let you do your pre-warm up-warm up and I’ll see you out there soon. You got this, babes.” 

Once you saw Nicole leave the tunnel, you immediately put your headphones in and started listening to one of the hype playlist that Nolan had put together for you. You went through visualizing your routines, visualizing the perfect motions, tumbling, and skills. You were stretching your legs out when you heard a familiar laugh sound from one side of the hallway, turning you saw Karly, TK, Nolan, Kev, and then beside them, Joel Farabee. 

You had never met him personally, but you had seen him play enough times to know who he was. He was also usually included in game highlights if you missed a game, so you were well aware how significant he was to the team. 

You stood up quickly and made your way over to them, “Karly, omg, I’ve missed you, babes. Tiki Bar, I’m still planning on stealing your girlfriend, just so you know.”

“You really have your priorities in order, don’t you, y/n/n?” Travis said.

“I like to think so. Hey, Kev, thank you for bringing your friends along for the y/n y/l/n revenge tour.”

“Dude, you didn’t mention this tour?” Nolan questioned. 

“Oh, well Adrian said this is my comeback meet, so it’s a revenge tour to show how cool I am,” when you got a nod in response from Nolan, you looked over to Joel who stood awkwardly beside him, “Farabee, do you talk or just stand awkwardly 24/7?”

When he heard you say his name, his eyebrows rose in surprise, “how come you know me, but I don’t know you?”

“Well, you see, I actually talk to people instead of just standing off to the side awkwardly. Plus, you’re literally Kev’s teammate, so it would be bad if I didn’t realize who you were.”

“I feel like you’re just upset I wasn’t talking to you, babe,” Joel added. 

“Awe, yes, of course. The pain in my heart from not talking to you is unbearable, thank you for sparing a few words,” you said sarcastically, placing your hand over your heart.

“Ok, children, that’s enough of that for today. We just came to wish you good luck, we’re going to go wait outside the tunnel so that way you can get your pep talk as usual. Now, c’mon, Beezer,” Kevin pushed Joel out of the way and towards the exit before he could say anything else. 

“Are we skipping over that for right now or?” Nolan asked as you walked back to where you were standing by the wall before they came over. When he got a simple nod in response he let out a simple ok, “what event are you starting on?”

“Floor. I’m pretty sure at least.”

“Ok, what’s the worst thing about the floor for you right now?” and the two of you talked about each event like you did every competition. Nolan doing his best to make sure that you talked out everything that was on your mind. Giving you a quick hug and a quick you got this, he made his way back towards his seat. You made your way back to get your warm up jacket from the locker room and went to find Marcus. 

By the time Nolan had made it back to his seat, the announcement that warm up and stretching would start now went off. “Ok, I genuinely thought the only people that did gymnastics were like 10 year olds,” Joel said. 

“10 year olds doing gymnastics is honestly a really boring thing to watch. Like when y/n was 10, I hated going to her meets. She was good, yeah, but it was boring and all of them had the same routines. 0/10 would not recommend,” Kevin added. 

“Are we all just ignoring whatever the fuck happened when y/n/n met Joel? Or was I the only one that noticed?” Nolan was shocked by the fact that no one had mentioned it. When the group went quiet for a moment, the only thing that could be heard was Karly holding back a laugh. “Care to share with the class, Karly?”

“Nope. I want to see how this one plays out before I make any comments,” to which the whole group looked at her confused. “It’s a developing story. It has to develop, obviously.”

Once the national anthem was over, the first event that you had was floor. “y/n/n, I don’t care how you do today, I just need you to go for everything. You have it in you to get high scores anyways, so just focus on doing your skills,” Marcus said, “you just have to do this 1 minute and 30 second routine, land all your tumbling, do your jumps well, stay tight, and you got this.”

“Representing the United States of America, y/n y/l/n on floor,” the announcer read over the loudspeaker. 

“Alright Twinkle Toes, go have fun out there,” Marcus told you one last time before you made your way up to the floor. You stood there anxiously, awaiting the judges who were somehow never ready on time to salute you. Once they did salute you, you flashed your best smile and marched onto the floor, going to your beginning pose. 

The group up in the stands were anxiously awaiting for your music to start, which did include Kevin having to yell at Joel to put his phone up before you performed. All of them believed in you, but this was your first competition back and they weren’t sure how it would go. Would you be back to your old competition level? Better? Would you hurt your knee again? They knew the risks, but simply pushed it to the back of their head. 

Just stick the landings. Four tumbling passes. Three leap series. Two turns. And one score. You have worked your ass off to get back to where you are now; this was your comeback and if you started off great, you could only go up from there. Hearing the beep that signaled that the floor music was starting, the first few notes of ‘Feeling Good’ rang out and you started your routine. 

Starting off your routine with a small dance combo and some poses, you went straight in with two back to back tumbling passes. After the first tumbling pass, the tension in your body eased up. You were back in your element for the first time officially since your injury and you couldn’t have felt better. Right now you didn’t care what score you got, you were just happy to be back. You went for your leaps and jumps, then your final two tumbling passes. 

After finishing your routine in your end pose, you saluted the judges again and practically ran back to Marcus. “I did it, oh my god. I did that,” you weren’t in shock, but the realization finally hit you that you had officially had a great start to the comeback tour. “Yeah, we all knew you could, y/n/n. I’m not shocked,” Marcus hugged you. 

When the camera came around as results of your routine came back, you simply smiled and waved towards the camera as you listened to Marcus tell you the plan for the rest of the competition. When the score results came up, it showed that you were in first place. Everyone else had competed in one event already, so you knew it wasn’t just an accident. You were back. 

“Dude, are you crying?” TK nudged Kevin, who quickly wiped his tears. 

“No, but if I were, it’s a completely valid response to a time like this,” Kevin said quickly. 

What you hadn’t noticed from where you were was how much Joel had been watching you. Before your routine started, he couldn’t have been less interested, but once he saw you performing and the smile on your face after you finished your routine he was hooked. Everyone did take note of how much he was watching you, especially Karly. 

“And the story keeps developing,” she thought. 

With a good score on vault and on bars, you were still doing fine in the meet - it was you and Kathryn Davis for first and second, but this event would show who won all around. The only event that you had left was beam, you only hoped that your hesitation wasn’t as obvious as you felt. You obviously wouldn’t be doing the dismount, you were just going to do a double back that you had solid and weren’t afraid of doing. But even with that, you still had fears looming around a dismount you knew like the back of your hand. 

The fear that you had for beam was evident when you had a few too many wobbles - which made your score lower - luckily there were no falls, but it still affected your score. Even with a lower score you still beat Kathryn in All Around, but came third on beam. 

After awards and talks with media, you made your way back to the locker room to get your gym bag. “y/n, oh my god. Babes, you did amazing. I’m so proud of you,” Nicole came rushing in for a hug. 

“Thanks, Nic. I’m just glad to be back, winning was just a plus,” you said, smiling, “do you still plan on coming with me, Karly, and the guys if we go out to eat?” to which she simply nodded. The two of you made your way to the usual spot you met Kevin after a gymnastics meet. 

Eventually the group made their way over there, all of them quickly congratulating you. “y/n/n, I hope you know how proud I am of you right now,” Kevin said softly after hugging you, “you’ve come such a long way and you rocked it today.”

“KD is slowly approaching,” Nolan said. 

“y/n, omg, it was so cool competing against you. Sorry to have beat you on beam though, maybe if you tried your dismount you would have won,” she said, a fake smile on her face.

“Well, sweetie. You do know that’s just one event right? In everything else, I still beat you. Even when I hurt myself last year, I still somehow ended up with the gold, so you honestly have nothing to brag about,” you said, your fake smile matching hers.

“I see you brought your hockey players to help you out here, how nice of them.”

Everyone watched cautiously, Kevin ready to pull you back if he needed to; Nolan, TK, and Karly were all ready to jump in and help you fight; while Joel just stood there realizing how much he liked seeing you when you were mad. A lovely dynamic for today. 

“Hun, if anyone needs help, it’s you. Especially in the math department, apparently. But congrats on the one gold medal, you deserve it,” and with that you stepped away from her and towards the doors of the arena. 

Somehow Joel was the one that was walking closest to you, “hey, you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. She just annoys me a lot, nothing crazy,” you shrugged. 

“You did good today. It’s crazy what you can do out there honestly,” he said genuinely. 

“Awe, Farabee, that’s so sweet. ”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get used to it, babe,” he said, slightly nudging you.

“Are you guys seeing this, too?” Karly asked the guys walking beside her, “like y/n and Bee? Or are your eyes not working today?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have introduced the two?” Kevin says looking back towards you two just as you trip Farabee, “yeah, maybe not the wisest decision?” 

“Haha, suck on that on-,” your sentence interrupted as he pulled your shin to where you ended up on the ground of the parking lot beside him, “that was uncalled for, Bee.” 

“No, it was perfectly reasonable, you were rude to me earlier, so it’s payback.” 

“What the fuck is she doing on the ground?” Nicole asked as she caught up to the group, confused by your and Joel’s actions, to which everyone around her simply shrugged. 

…..

“There she is, the gymnastics superstar. How was the first night of the ‘y/n y/l/n Revenge Tour?” Adrian asked as you entered his office. 

“Eh, same old, same old. You win some and you lose some, and then people are extremely petty about the fact that they lost, so they bring up a traumatic injury that you hardly ever talk about while making fun of you losing an event, yada, yada, yada,” you smiled. 

“Didn’t really know all that, but I’m proud of you,” Adrian led you over to sit on the bench, so that he could check your knee, “your knee looks- why is there a phone number written on your shin?” 

“Ohhh, haha. About that. I forgot to wash it off,” you said simply. 

“Girl, I know there is way more to that story that you aren’t sharing. C’mon spill.” 

“Ok, well basically. Kevin brought one of his teammates to the game, and there’s this kinda like tension that’s there, but it’s not. So, I kinda tripped him in the parking lot to show that I’m so in love with him and he tripped me back, then we all went out to eat. We’re basically engaged now, we’ve already bought a house and a dog,” you said in a monotone voice. 

“Ok, enough with the attitude, I just asked about the boy. So, what’s his name?”

“Joel Farabee.”

“What’s your specific nickname for him?” Adrian placed some athletic tape below your knee, just as precaution.

“Bee, but he doesn’t have a specific one from me yet, we aren’t that close,” you jokingly rolled your eyes, “no, but he couldn’t find a blank piece of paper, so he just wrote his number on my shin.”

“Did he not see your arm? And have you texted him yet?” Adrian asked as you started with your daily drills, rolling his eyes when he saw you shake your head, “look, he’s a hockey player. I have dealt with a few of those. 7/10, might recommend. They’re interesting individuals, that’s all I can say. But you have to text him.”

“Ok, well read me the number and I’ll text him,” opening your phone, you pulled up your texts, “wait, what the fuck do I say?”

“Well, there’s this word in the English language that works as a simple greeting when you don’t know what else to say. A three letter word, pretty simple.”

“Adrian. I don’t need the attitude today, this is stressful enough,” you quickly typed up the message and practically threw your phone across the room right after, “there, I did it.”

“Did you just throw your phone?”

“Yep, but I texted him,” you said, holding two thumbs up.

“I didn’t realize how much you doing gymnastics your whole life influenced your social skills. My deepest condolences to you,” the both of you looked over towards where you threw your phone when you heard a notification go off, “you better check that before I do.”

“Okay, fine,” quickly grabbing your phone, answering quickly to which he responded just as fast, “he simply asked if I was going to be at Kevin’s later and if I wanted coffee, so, are we done here?”

“Mhm, get your coffee. And I expect updates.” 

As you were on the drive home, your phone started buzzing continuously, you realized that it was just Nicole, “hey, babes. What’s up?” 

“Have you checked twitter? Or instagram? Or anything?”

“No? I’ve been at P.T, why?”

“You’re not going to like what I’m about to say, so if you’re still in the car, I suggest pulling over for your own safety.”

You pulled into your apartment complex, “ok, I’m home. What’s up?”

“Just check Kathryn’s instagram, but apparently she’s been training her 3.5 dismount on beam for months and she has it now. She said she plans on competing it at the U.S. classic in May.” 

[reidgraygubler]

kiwi(matthew gray gubler/fem!reader)

Title: kiwi

@driving-wild​ requested: Can I have a MGG one shot pls? y/n works on CM and has known MGG for a long time. They had a one night stand that they haven’t spoken about and y/n is pregnant. One of the other actors brings it up in front of whole cast including MGG? Idk if that makes sense aha thank you

Couple: matthew gray gubler/make up artist!fem!reader

Category: semi-spicy fluff, some angst 

Content Warning: swearing, allusions to sex, heavy making out, mentions of failed contraceptive (broken condom), verbal arguments (includes shouting), talks about sex, mentions of abortion, talks of co-parenting, light drinking, mega d-bag matthew at some points,

Word Count: 4775

Summary:  Reader and Matthew have a night in together. After their escapade together, Matthew ignores reader… Until she tells him some life changing news.

a/n: i kinda misread the “they haven’t spoken about it” and took it as “matthew ignores the reader”... but i think that works… low-key based off kiwi by harry styles (but not really…). This one-shot was originally going to contain smut, but i low-key was struggling with it, so I nixed the smut. im sure i’ll post smut again soon. idk why i struggled with smut this time… anyways, thanks for the love! check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

AJ>Me & 7 others: Girls night! Mulligans at 8! 

So, that’s where I am… After a long day at work, I go out with all the people I spent 12+ hours with. I lifted my glass to my lips to take a long sip. My friends were talking about something that I didn’t care about. Honestly, I never really cared about anything they talked about. It was all mostly the same old gossip from the day or from their lives. I was used to hearing it, I was a makeup artist after all.

I glanced at everyone at the table before looking around the place. A familiar person was sitting at the bar, a small glass of bourbon in hand. He was hunched over the counter as he looked at his drink. 

“Matthew?” I whispered, squinting at the man at the bar. AJ said something before loudly excusing herself from the table. I, again, didn’t really hear what she said, I was too busy looking across the bar.

I’ve been working on set for several years, nearly 8, as one of the few makeup artists. I was ever so blessed to be placed with Matthew and Kirsten (as well as Shemar before he left). I suppose ever since I started, Matthew and I became best friends. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I had the smallest crush on him. Have you seen the man?!

“I’ll be right back!” I shouted as I looked at Kirsten. She looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up before going back to her previous conversation. 

I didn’t bother grabbing my drink before I stood up. I was all done drinking it anyway. And with that, I quietly and quickly made my way to the bar. 

“Hey,” I spoke standing beside him. “What are you doing here, Matthew?” I languidly leaned against the counter beside him. I held my drink close to me as I looked at him. He looked up from the counter and smiled back at me. “It’s weird not seeing you in a makeup chair or on set,” I chuckled lightly as I leaned closer to him. It honestly wasn’t that weird seeing him off set. I mean, we’ve hung out together outside of work. He is one of my long time friends, who I would trust with my life. But a lot of people on set would trust Matthew with their lives. 

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that weird,” he looked at me with a cheeky grin. I returned his grin with a somewhat flirty smile. Well, as flirty as I could let it be. The level of intoxication I was feeling was borderline drunk, teetering on tipsy and buzzed. “Same reason you’re out,” he looked down at his drink before taking a sip.

“You’re out for girls’ night?” I asked, my volume getting louder as I spoke. My body was suddenly gravitating closer to his, my hand grasping his upper arm to steady myself. “Because that’d just be crazy if you were!” I shouted as I leaned closer to his face. Matthew turned his head to look at me better. 

“No, no, just came out with some friends,” his smile became genuine as he looked at me. I pulled my hand off his arm and steadied myself against the bar beside me. “And, my brother too. He fucked off to the bathroom though,” he waved behind us towards the vague area of the bathrooms.

“Ah, very nice! ‘Ave you seen AJ?!” I stumbled slightly closer to him so there were just a few inches between us. I leaned forward and pressed my body against his. “She came with me but I can’t find her,” I looked up at his face. Matthew raised an eyebrow before helping me stand straighter. 

“Yeah, yeah I think I saw her a little bit ago,” his grip on my arm got a little tighter as he steadied me. “But, I’m not sure where she went to from there,” he looked around at the people around us. “Bathroom, I think,” he added. I nodded, even though I already knew that.

“Eh, whatever, who needs her,” I smiled as I rested my hand on his arm, “Can you take me outside, it’s hot in here,” I looked up at his face and felt my face warm up. It could be one of three things. 1) The alcohol in my system was starting to make me hot. 2) The temperature of the bar was actually starting to rise due to the many people crowding inside. Or, 3) Matthew Gray Gubler was actually starting to get me hot and bothered. And I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a mix of the three, the latter being the main cause.

“Of course, you’re looking a little flush,” he nodded, wrapping an arm around my body. I looked up at him as he guided me towards the front door of the bar. “Did you bring your purse in with you or anything?” he asked, looking down at me then around the bar to find where I had come from.

“Nah, it’s in the car,” I waved him and my purse off. Matthew nodded before finally taking me outside. The hot air from the bar and the cool air of the outside hit me all at once and confused my body. 

“Fuck it was hot in there,” I wiped my face with the back of my hand as I stood up straight.  Matthew glanced down at me as he brought me over towards the seating area the bar had. The partying was inside, as opposed to the chilly outside. 

“Should I call a cab?” Matthew asked, looking down at me once I was sitting down. I rested my elbow on the table before resting my chin in my hand. 

“Yeah, that’d be great, I can always come back for my car tomorrow,” I looked to the parking lot and towards my car. Matthew nodded as he pulled his phone from his pocket and stepped away from me as he was on a call.

I cocked my head to my shoulder and watched as he walked away from me. A smile suddenly grew on my lips as my eyes wandered up and down his backside. Of course, the thought of sleeping with my co-worker has passed my mind before. I’m sure a lot of people have had that thought. 

“20 minutes,” he pointed at me with his phone before he pocketed it. I blinked away the somewhat filthy thoughts I was having before looking up at him. “Do you want me to go home with you?” 

“I’m not drunk, you know,” I watched as he sat across from me, “And, I know how to hold my booze,” I reached across the table to grasp his hand. Matthew looked at me and smiled. 

“I know this,” he laughed lightly as he turned his hand so he could hold my hand, “I’ve seen you drunk before,” he looked down at our hands with a smile. 

“You don’t have to babysit me, Matty G,” I threw my head back in laughter. Matthew looked up at me and shot me a glare at the nickname I so lovingly gave him. 

“Okay, this is true, however… Do you still want me to go home with you?” he smiled at me, already knowing the answer to his question. I let out a deep sigh as I looked at him.

“Yes, Matthew,” I looked back down at the table and muttered. Matthew squeezed my hand, causing me to look up at him. “I’d love it if you came home with me,” I smiled as I leaned over the table to look at him more.

And, after a long twenty-minute wait and casual conversation, a cab pulled into the parking lot. Matthew had a certain cockiness to him as he helped me into the car before getting in beside me.

“You good?” He looked down at me with a small smile. I nodded and looked at my lap. “You look pretty tired,” he chuckled lightly as he moved closer to me.

“Yeah, yeah. Long day, and then late night,” I sighed as I leaned into his side. Matthew laughed as he invited me into his side more and wrapped an arm around me. I looked up at him and smiled. “I hope I didn’t take you away from someone important at the bar,” I whispered as I looked at him. 

“No, no, it’s okay. My friends won’t even notice I left,” he waved off my lame ass apology. I laughed as I sat up a bit.

“That’s a shame,” I sighed and looked down at my lap, “I’d notice if you left,” I looked back up at him with a small smile. He stared at me for a moment. Neither of us had words to say anymore. But the silence between us wasn’t awkward. 

“I would hope you would notice if I left. Then that’d mean the cab door was wide open,” he laughed as he gestured towards the door. I laughed and shook my head. It took me a minute to notice that our faces had drifted closer together. “I appreciate the sentiment though,” he smiled softly. I laughed and nodded. 

I smiled as we stared at each other. Every few seconds Matthew would flick between my eyes and my lips, and I know I was doing the same thing. I definitely did want to kiss him. I’m sure he knows he’s got that kind of effect on people. And if you’ve known him for as long as I have… 

“Please tell me you want the same thing I want,” I spoke so softly. I knew he heard me because a smile slowly grew on his lips. He brought his hand to rest on my cheek before closing the space between us. I hummed against his lips and pushed my hands through his hair, tugging on it lightly.

After a moment he pulled me into his lap, my legs on either side of his waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I tried to get closer to his body. His hands were planted firmly on my hips, keeping me in place over every bump the vehicle went over.

“Uhm… We’re at your stop,” the poor driver spoke up. I pulled away from Matthew with wide eyes and a smile on my lips. Matthew returned the smile as he pushed me off his body. 

“Give him a $700 dollar tip. Oh my god,” I whispered as I slipped out of the car. He smiled at me as he pulled out his wallet. I pressed the door shut as I looked into the car. He spoke a few words to the driver before handing him some money. Moments later he slipped out of the car and walked beside me.

“He said to have a very good night,” Matthew looked down at me with a smile. I laughed and nodded. He wrapped an arm around my body and walked close beside me. 

“Oh, I’m sure you will have a very nice night,” I cooed as I poked his nose. He smiled and pulled me closer to his body. I fumbled for my keys, which I was so fortunate to stick in my pockets and not my bag, as we neared the front door.

I fumbled a little bit more as I tried to unlock the door. Matthew’s body was distractingly close to mine. It was impossibly hard to get the damn door unlocked. 

Once the door finally swung open, Matthew and I were already back on each other. He pressed my body against the door and I already struggled to push his coat off. 

“Bedroom,” I pointed towards the stairs, hoping he’d figure it out from there. He nodded, pushing his coat off before picking me up from the knees. I yelped from the surprise before I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

“Careful,” I mumbled as he nearly tripped over the first and second steps. He hummed, pressing his lips to my neck, leaving sloppy kisses on my skin. I dropped my head to the side and allowed him to have more space. My hands found their way into his hair, and my fingers got tangled in the locks at the base of his neck. 

“Which room is yours,” Matthew asked, his voice a low growl in my ear. 

“That way,” I pointed in a vague direction that I hoped he would figure out. After a moment, he pushed a door open with his foot and he muttered something into my ear. It was so incoherent, but I didn’t care.

My fingers struggled to unbutton his shirt but succeeded once we were closer to my bed. And, once he set me down on the bed, I pulled my own shirt off and tossed it to the ground. A smile grew across my lips when I saw that he was shirtless. 

He pushed me back on the bed before hovering over me. I stared up at him before he kissed me.

{***}{***}{***}

“Fuck,” Matthew muttered as he panted. I looked over at him with tired eyes. He had one hand pushed through his hair as he stared at the ceiling. “Fuck,” he muttered again.

“Are… Matthew, are you okay?” I slowly sat up and looked down at him. The way he was sweating looked like glitter in the little bit of light was in the room. “Do you need, like, water or something?” I pushed myself off the bed slowly. 

“Yeah, yeah… Sorry, water would be great,” he looked over at me for half a moment before looking away again. I nodded as I grabbed for a shirt (whether it was mine or Matthew’s, I didn’t care), threw it on, and went to the kitchen.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be quick or not getting the water for him. So, I grabbed two glasses of water and a snack before slowly returning to the bedroom.

Honestly, I was expecting Matthew to still be lying in bed, asleep… Not sitting at the foot of the bed, fully clothed and putting his shoes on. I would have dropped the water if I hadn’t set them on my dresser first.

“What… What are you doing?” I asked as I moved to stand in front of him. He looked up at me, his hair all in his face as he looked at me.

“Going home?” He spoke smoothly before standing back up. I dropped my shoulders. It was now my turn to look back up at him. 

“You’re just going to leave? Just like that? A fucking one night stand?” I scoffed as I watched him straighten his shirt. He turned on his heel and looked at me. “I knew I shouldn’t have…” I sighed deeply and stepped out of his way. “Go ahead then, just leave,” I looked at him with a certain disgust. His eyes flashed with an apologetic look before he left my room and my home altogether. 

I stared at my bed for a moment before grabbing a blanket from the closet and made way to the living room. God knows I’m not sleeping in my bed tonight.

{***}{***}{***}

Something was… Wrong. And, no, no it wasn’t the fact that I fucked one of my best friends. No… Something was wrong with me. I felt off. Maybe it was the fact that he hasn’t said a word to me since I told him to leave however many weeks ago.

Or maybe it was because I’ve been sitting on the floor in my bathroom, staring at the timer on my phone waiting for a timer to hit 0 so I could find out either the best news in my entire life or possibly the worst news of my entire life. It honestly depends entirely on how you look at the situation at hand.

So, when the timer on my phone beeped, I looked down at the object in hand with wide eyes. I couldn’t tell if I was crying or not, but there was an unwelcome dampness on my cheeks that was bothering me. No, no. Why would the tears be what’s bothering me when the stupid thing in hand was telling me something I didn’t want to know.

Pregnant…

Okay, okay, it’s not the end of the world. Could be worse… Maybe? I couldn’t even tell you why this was the end of the world. Oh, wait… No, I could, I definitely could tell you. Again, it depends on how you look at the situation...

I’m pregnant with my best friend and co-worker’s baby. Yeah. Yeah, that is pretty bad. He isn’t even talking to me. I don’t think he’s talked to me since that night we slept together.

“What the hell am I going to tell Matthew,” I whispered, staring at the pregnancy test with wide eyes.  

{***}{***}{***}

“Yeah, ever since that one got knocked up” AJ laughed as she nodded towards me. I looked at her with wide eyes and shook my head. Matthew was standing right behind her, considering he had just entered the room. "Ever since you said you’re pregnant we’ve had to postpone girls’ night,”

“AJ,” I muttered as I looked down at the ground. She looked over at me with wide eyes before looking over her shoulder to finally see Matthew.

“Oh, hey, Gubes,” she muttered as she looked at him. I finally looked up at him with wide eyes. He pushed past AJ and everyone around him before coming to stand in front of me.

“Hi, Matthew,” I whispered, keeping my eyes off his face. Actually, I looked anywhere but his face. I didn’t want to look at him at all. Mostly because if I looked at him I’d have to face the horrors that have been my last month.

The group around us began their quiet murmurs to each other, and they’d consisted of me and Matthew and our incredibly unexpected news if that’s what it could be called. I wanted to look around at everyone, silently telling them off. I wished AJ or someone would disperse the group, but I knew no one would leave. They wanted to stay for the drama that was about to unfold.

“You’re pregnant?” His voice was stern and low as he talked to me. He was standing right in front of me, blocking the conversation from everyone in the room. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Do we have to do this right now,” I asked, keeping my voice low. I knew everyone would be listening to our conversation. There was no stopping that, or the conversation that was about to happen between Matthew and I.

"Yes, I think we do have to do this right now." He returned stepping closer to me. I looked up at him and felt a familiar wetness on my cheeks. I quickly wiped my eyes as I looked around the room. Everyone was staring at us, trying to listen in on the drama. 

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my make-up room. A slight commotion came from the crowd as we left the room. I’m sure they were all asking AJ what the problem was. Of course, I told AJ, she’s the only person, other than Matthew, I would hang out with from set. And, of course, I told other people on set. AJ’s just the person who knows information I didn’t share with everyone else.

After I pressed the door shut, I slowly turned to face Matthew. He was still standing, looking at me with his hands in his pockets. The expression on his face only stressed me out more. He was angry, pissed. The air was so tense, I swear it was suffocating. There was no longer a calm before this storm. There hasn’t been a calm since I slept with Matthew. Just a hurricane of stress and shock and disappointment. 

“When I asked if we had to do this right now, I meant did we have to do it in front of everyone we know?” I spoke in a harsh whisper as I stepped to him. I pushed him so he was sitting in the chair and still looking up at me. “Because, now we have to go back out there and deal with them when we’re done talking,” I turned around so I was facing the counter that held all my tools and make-up.

“Why… Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to find out through AJ?” Matthew looked at me. I looked at the counter, trying to keep my focus on my job instead of the situation at hand. I was having too many thoughts at once and being interrogated by Matthew didn’t help at all. “Is it mine?” he asked. I honestly didn’t like the insinuation in his accusatory tone. That insinuation being that I sleep with so many men (and/or women). The last man I slept with was, in fact, Matthew. 

“Yes! It is yours! You’re the last person I slept with! So there’s no one else it could belong to. I don’t sleep around in my spare time,” I scoffed as I looked at all the brushes in front of me. “Idiot,” I muttered to myself. I was calling myself an idiot, not Matthew. Granted, we’re both the idiots in this situation, unfortunately.

“Okay, that still doesn’t answer my question… Why didn’t you tell me?” Matthew’s tone was annoyed. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

“Because you’ve been ignoring me,” I shrugged again, picking up the bigger makeup brush. I grabbed the closest pallet, not even caring if it was the one I needed or not, and started to distract myself. “Because you won't answer my calls or texts… you've been ignoring me here! I didn't know what to do," I tried to keep my voice low, just in case anyone walked by and heard my shouting. “I didn’t expect you to be the type of guy to sleep with someone and then ignore them, Matthew,” I scoffed as I turned around to face him. I kept my eyes down on the pallet as I moved the brush across his face.  

“I wasn’t ignoring you,” he insisted. I had to hold back my laughter as I shook my head.

“It sure felt like it to me,” I muttered as I looked up at him. “I’m sorry you had to find out through AJ, okay? It was hard to talk to you when you always requested Marnie to do your make-up, or you go talk to someone else the second you see me approaching you…” I scoffed and shook my head.

“How long have you known?” Matthew looked up at me, his voice was soft as he spoke. It took everything in me to not feel bad. I shouldn’t feel bad. He was the asshole in this situation. 

“A month,” I whispered as I tossed the brush to the counter behind me. “Month and a half… I don’t know. When did we sleep together? Because it was a few weeks after that,” I shrugged as I looked down at the ground. Matthew looked up at me with wide eyes, clearly more shocked about this news. “I tried telling you, Matthew. It was just hard when you…” 

“I wasn’t ignoring you,” he pressed. I dropped my shoulders and stared at him.

“I swear to god if you say that you weren’t ignoring… I might punch on you in the stomach,” I stated matter-of-factly. Matthew looked at me with wide eyes and nodded slowly as he took in my words. “And, I’m like a month, maybe two months, pregnant… Don’t fucking fight me,” I spoke, but made sure I ended my statement with a smile. 

“Okay, okay,” Matthew raised his hands as some sort of surrender, “I was ignoring you.. I was… I don’t typically sleep with my best friends,” he looked at me as he lowered his hands. I stared at him with a pointed expression on my face. “I just wasn’t sure what happened. I didn’t know if that’d ruin our friendship. I love my friendship with you. And, if fucking you fucked over my friendship with you,” he looked at me with a sort of sadness in his eyes. “It turns out I did fuck up becau-”

“Hold on… Do you regret sleeping with me?” I cut him off, feeling sudden ball anxiety in my stomach. 

“What?! No! That’s not what I said! Or… Or what I meant, even!” Matthew half-shouted, and it made me jump back. Once he realized that he scared me, he instantly softened and became apologetic. “I don’t regret sleeping with you. I was just scared that I was going to mess up,” his voice softened as he spoke. 

“Mess up,” I scoffed and shook my head, “Mess up what? I got pregnant! Was that a worry that you had? Or… Or...”

“I didn’t want to lose our friendship. That’s how I was worried I’d mess up.” He lowered his voice. I stared at him and dropped my shoulders. “And… Obviously, I didn’t want or mean for you to get pregnant,” he whispered. I swallowed roughly and wiped my eyes. God, I hate that crying was a thing and that it keeps happening. I’m happy it was quiet for a minute. No shouting or arguing. Just silence. "I just don't understand how it happened," Matthew mumbled as I turned to grab a different brush. I involuntarily rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Oh, I don't know… maybe it's because we had sex or something," I said under my breath. He looked up at me with mild shock in his eyes. I dropped my hand to my sides as I looked at him. I tossed the brush back to the counter behind me. “God sometimes I forget that you’re not actually Spencer Reid and just you,” I whispered as I placed my hands on his cheeks. He looked up at me with innocent eyes. “You should know condoms don’t always work,” I stared at him with wide eyes. He looked up at me with a somewhat excited, yet exhausted look in his eye. “Especially if you keep them tucked in your wallet,” I gently patted his cheeks before pulling them away from his face.

“Are you… Are you going to keep it,” Matthew asked, keeping his voice low as he tested the waters with his questions. I sighed deeply as I leaned against the counter behind me.

“Was planning on it,” I glanced at his face as I spoke. The way he shifted in his seat made me a little nervous, and I couldn’t tell you why. “I understand if you don’t want anything to do with it… I won’t, like, berate you for money or ruin your life or anything,” I shrugged as I crossed my arms over my chest. Matthew looked up at me with wide eyes.

“Of course I want to be in its life, don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. I could feel some of the tension in my shoulders and body slip away at his words. I was, in all honesty, prepared to do the whole single parenting thing. Even though I didn’t want to. I think I was more unprepared for Matthew to say he’d be a part of the kid’s life. 

“You’re not just saying that?” I swallowed roughly as I looked at him. He laughed lightly and shook his head. 

“I’m not just saying that. I promise,” he finally stood up and looked down at me, “Sorry that I was ignoring you. And… Sorry I got you, well… You know,” he gestured to my stomach. I smiled as I placed a hand on my almost showing stomach.

“You had me worried I wasn’t a good lay, Matthew,” I laughed lightly and looked up at him. He smiled softly and shrugged. “Okay, okay, co-parenting?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Matthew cocked his head to the side as he placed his hands on both my arms.

“I mean if that’s what you want. Also, whoever said you were the worst lay?” He scoffed with playful laughter. I returned the laughter and shook my head.

“Well, you were a pretty bad lay,” I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest. Matthew just smiled before pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me. I let my shoulders relax in his embrace.

[residentanchor-writes]

Downside Ch. 2

Summary: Clyde tries his hand at ‘robbing’ a bank. << Chapter 1 Watch the animatic here. Check out the Downside au @robinsdownside! TW: Cursing, mental manipulation

Clyde was anxiously sitting in his trashy car in front of the bank. He wasn't too sure of the thing he was about to do. But he needed the money and he couldn’t crash at Remy’s place forever.

Checking his face in the rearview mirror again, he gladly noted that the makeup still hid his scales that seemed to like to appear more often on his face than anywhere else now. He also let his hair grow out quite a bit to hide them a little behind bangs that fell over the left side of his face. By now he nearly looked like an emo. Working with that style, he wore a gray scarf that hid the scales that had appeared on his neck as well.

Looking down on himself he wondered if his yellow shirt and black leather jacket were casual enough.

Yeah, probably. He was thinking too hard about this. Or not hard enough.

Breathing in through his nose and letting the air slowly out through slightly parted lips, he got out of his car. He could see his breath in the air in front of him. It has gotten pretty cold since he left his parents with the most valued things he had, including his pet snake, a few weeks ago.

With a faked confident walk as he squared his shoulders, he got closer to the glass door and stepped into the building.

He was extremely lucky, there were only three other people inside. Two women who worked there as the tellers and one man who was talking to the woman on the left, so Clyde went to the other teller on the right.

“Hello, sir. What can I help you with, today?” the brunette in the white blouse asked with a sweet smile.

Clyde put on as much charm as he could muster as he smiled back. “Hello there, I hope you're having a lovely day. I'm here to make a withdrawal.”

He was good at pretending to be a more likable person than he actually was. He always wanted to be an actor, but never went to any auditions for school plays because of his social status as one of the “cool kids” that smoked and drank alcohol behind the school. The entire thing was an act in his school days, but he was good at adapting to change.

“Very well, your name sir?”

“Oh, no.” He chuckled “I was under the impression that you just wanted to give it to me,” his smile widened a little.

The woman gave him an amused sound, taking it as a joke. Out of the corner of his eye, Clyde could see the other man leaving the bank. It was just him and the two tellers alone, now.

“Good one, sir, but this would be easier with a name,” The woman spoke with a chuckle. The other teller woman went into a back door and slipped away for the moment. Perfect.

“Well if you want to call me something, I think you could just go with Deceit,” He spoke with a calmness he wouldn’t have thought he could muster at this moment. He felt his hands shaking and start to sweat as he held down his nervousness.

The woman’s smile faltered a little. “Excuse me?”

Clyde looked back over her shoulder to make sure the other girl was really gone. Then, he looked back into the sweet face in front of him which got more confused by the second.

The perfect opportunity.

He looked in her deep blue eyes.

“You wanted to give me $50,000, right? That’s why I’m here.”

His left eye shimmered and glowed with a light yellow and he noticed the familiar sensation of an itch on his left forearm.

He still looked at the woman who stared back with a face he couldn’t quite put into place. It was nearly blank but still a little puzzled at his words.

That happened every time but he always felt the nervousness at that moment again and again. A million thoughts rushed into his head, like what if it didn’t work (again) or what if he phrased it wrong? Happens to the best, and this scenario was new to him.

This was the first time he did something really bad. Usually, he used his powers to get out of trouble for smaller things or to get free booze, but stealing $50,000 directly out of a bank, in bright daylight? That was insanity!

He had felt a weird sensation in his gut since he began ‘planning’ this. Honestly, this whole ‘rob a bank’ thing was an idea he and Remy had the night before while they were balls drunk in the basement of Rem’s parents. His parents that had no clue Clyde was even hiding there.

Rem was two years younger than him but was a pretty chill dude he had hung out with in school. He was the only one he could count on that wouldn’t snitch him out to anyone about his powers and where he was, because, well, he had powers too. Powers Remy’s parents weren’t very fond of, so they generally stayed away from the cellar.

The woman blinked as she awoke from a daze. The moment surely wasn’t longer than a second, but to Clyde, it felt like years.

The brunette locked eyes with him again and put her smile from the beginning back on.

“Of course, I remember now. It will only be a second, Mr. Deceit.”

--------

“Fuck! I did it!”

Clyde opened the basement door so fast he nearly broke it out of the old, rusty hinges. A very startled Remy, who looked like he had just been woken up, fought his way out of the blanket that had been lying on him.

He had been sleeping on his disgusting makeshift bed, which was made of just two stacked mattresses on top of the cold concrete ground. The basement looked like it should have been finished years ago but no one ever bothered to finish the job. At night, they took one of the mattresses off and slid it onto the floor next to the other so that Clyde didn’t have to sleep out on the bean bag. They had tried that the first night, but it resulted in a stiff back and a very grumpy Clyde in the morning.

Clyde-- er, Deceit moved a few steps forward, to click on the floor lamp that only had an old light bulb screwed on top and no lamp shade. The lightbulb was a normal, fluorescent bulb which somehow exclusively produced greenish light. Clyde had asked about that the second day he had stayed here but Remy too didn’t exactly know why either, not that he cared.

With the light, the messy room had become a little more visible. It was even dirtier than Clyde's old room had been, especially since he had moved in. They both didn’t really care enough to clean all the filthy clothes of the ground except when they ran out of fresh clothes, in which case Remy had to go upstairs with a decent sized pile that was unsuspicious to his parents since they didn’t have to know about Clyde’s existence in Remy’s room.

If they found out about the other kid with powers in their basement? That would mean massive trouble for both of them.

Remy’s guardians were already not on best terms with their son since he had intruded their dreams by accident on more than one occasion. They didn’t hate him but Remy had sometimes messed up their sleep so much that they were first confused what was happening, then they screamed at him to stop and at last, they started to get him out of the way.

He was ok with that. He was just in his basement room, enjoying his life without the worry that his parents would storm in.

But if they knew that he invited someone else to live at their house without their knowledge, they would be very mad. They would probably scream at him again and would call Clyde’s parents, even though he was actually old enough to live on his own, as a 19-year-old. Clyde just didn’t have the money to live on his own. He had been fired a few months ago from his job at the pet shop.

He had to leave his home weeks ago in order to hide his powers from his family as the scales became more and more obvious, so he came to the only one he knew that would at least understand.

It wasn’t much fun sleeping next to someone who had the ability to go into your dreams whenever both of them slept at the same time. Rem didn’t do it on purpose of course, the closer you sleep next to him the more likely it is that he just stumbles into your dream by accident. That's why he had to sleep in the basement, while his parents slept on the third floor. They simply wanted him as far away at night as possible.

What the two did all day now was lying around in the dirty cellar on the green bean bag and the mattresses and talked about everything and nothing. Somedays they played games on the old arcade machine Remy had or they had matches on his kicker, all while smoking pot or drinking beer Clyde brought back every time he went out.

But not this time. This time he brought something better. Money. And lots of it.

Remy tried focusing on the guy with the weird scales in front of him as he blinked the sleep from his eyes, “Wha-?”

Deceit ripped away the blanket and threw a full plastic bag him. It hit him in the chest, where you could read ‘Never SLEEP again’ on a gray shirt, and caused him to lay down again with the bag sitting on top of him.

“I said I did it! I actually did it, I stole the money!” Deceit stood proudly next to the ‘bed’, hands on his hips, with the broadest smile Remy had ever seen on the guy. It kinda creeped him out, to be honest.

Then the bank robber turned around into the direction of the old foosball table and lifted his arm triumphantly into the air and tilted his head back so he looked at the ceiling.

“Oh my god! I feel great! This was way better than drugs!” he screamed in euphoria.

Remy leaned up on his elbow and let the bag fall next to him on the bed.

“Flippin’ shut up, man! You're gonna wake the whole street shoutin’ like that.”

Deceit turned his head back to his friend, puzzled.

“It's 5 in the afternoon?”

“Oh really? I'm up early,” the sleepy head grinned.

Deceit made a face at him that could only have meant ‘you fu**king serious?’

Rem's eyes fell on the plastic bag next to him. With one hand he lifted a handle and looked inside. His eyes widened, only now had he realized what Deceit had actually done. He shot up straight on the mattress and put the bag on the ground so he could take a bundle of hundred dollar notes out. He ran a finger across the stop slowly as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

“Jesus Christ, you actually did it?!” he looked up shocked at the criminal who now faced him again. With the head movement, the green shade sunglasses that had apparently been lying on his purple dyed and messy hair the whole time he slept, fell onto his nose.

“Hell yeah, I did! And it was so easy too! Like stealing a lolly from a baby.”

The seventeen-year-old sitting on the mattresses gathered himself enough to get a little of his sass back.

“Cliché.” He looked back down to the pile of money. “Jeez, how much even is this?”

“50,000 bugs,” Dee’s eyes sparkled saying that.

“Holy shit. Holy shit, I can't believe it! I thought we were just joking around yesterday! We were drunk for fucks sake!”

Remy would have never thought that Clyde would actually do something this incredibly stupid. They just talked like idiots about how they could have anything they wanted if they used their powers more, not that he ever actually considered doing so.

“Come on, just imagine what we can do with that much money!” Deceit stepped closer to him, gesturing with his hands.

“With the stolen money.”

“No one knows that!”

“Babe, don't you think 50k will be missed? Where did you even get that from? The bank like we said?” he took his shades with his forefinger and thumb on the rim of the glasses and slid them down a bit so he could look into Deceit's eyes.

“Yeah and no, no one knows I took the money. I made sure the woman was the only one there and I just made her give it to me.”

“50k in cash. Someone will miss that! They’re going to notice that much missing! Did you think of the cameras?” Rem’s eyebrows furrowed as he put his shades back on properly.

“I do not like to repeat myself. She just handed it to me! It looks completely innocent on camera. And as far as she knows, that money belongs to me.”

Deceit got frustrated with his friend. Just the night before he also loved the idea and now he was lecturing him?!

“You can't keep the money here, babe. I'm not ok with that much stolen cash under my roof!”

“It will be gone soon anyway.” He tried again to reason. This was a good thing, why couldn’t he see it?

“You need to leave,” The voice sounded monotone.

Deceit’s shoulders fell. “What?”

“Clyde, sweetie, don’t get me wrong. I'm totally up for all kinds of stupid shit but that's a bit too far man and I really don't want to get in trouble because of you.”

“So, you're throwing me out?”

“You have enough money to rent a hotel room,” he said gesturing to the bag at his feet.

Deceit looked with disbelief into the green-tinted sunglasses that hid Remy’s emotions pretty well.

How could he just throw him out? He thought the other would be happy about the money. He would have even shared it with him for letting him stay here, but now…

He growled “Fine. I'll leave. I don't need you anymore anyway. I can do whatever I want without you. Just don't come crawling back to me when I'm ruling the city.”

“Sure thing rip-off Disney villain.”

“You've seen the last of me.”

With that Deceit took his luggage, bound the bag of money to it and lifted a small terrarium with Terrence in it under his arm and left the basement.

Remy let out a shaky breath into the stifling air of his room.

For a second there, he had been afraid that Clyde- no, Deceit would use his powers on him.

---- Chapter 3>>

[manggaetteokkie]

Why 2HA adaptation might not be as bad as we think...

Okay so BL novel “The Husky and His White Cat Shizun” (chinese title: “二哈和他的白猫师尊”) aka 2HA is getting a live adaption which will be called “Immortality” (“皓衣行”). I know that usually, fans of original works are less than excited about this kinds of news and with good reasons. The issue is that those who buy the IP rights to a novel simply see its popularity and think that they can profit off of it without actually trying to understand the reason behind its popularity. Too often, BL fans see themselves forced to endure any of the following: 1) sex change of one of the male leads, 2) creation of a random female love interest, 3) turning a happy end into a bad end, 4) adding a bunch of scenes unrelated to our main pair that ends up dragging the series, 5) turning romance into brotherly affection... the list goes on and on. Sometimes, companies think that as long as they film any two guys together and sell a bit of physical touching here and there, fans will jump on it like rabid dogs which... is kinda stupid because, y’know, we have eyes (and standards) too.

So obviously, with the unprecedented popularity that came with the release of The Untamed, even more producers are starting to see the potential of danmei (BL) novels and with it came an onslaught of IP rights being bought and adapted. The list is pretty extensive, with some big names that I’m sure anyone who’s even slightly in the Chinese BL novel community has heard of before. Of course, included in that list, with the casting for the leads done and filming underway, is 2HA.

Quick overview of the story for those of you that don’t know: the story is set in the POV of the “gong” (top), a character named Mo Ran (also known as Mo Weiyu) who is the disciple of Chu Wanning, the “shou” (bottom) of our story. In his original life, Mo Ran had become the Emperor of the cultivation world through slaughter and tyranny, with the only one ever coming close to stopping him being his shizun, Chu Wanning, who eventually lost his life trying to stop him. After achieving the top by committing pretty much all crimes and sins known to men, weary and tired, Mo Ran decides to take his own life and ends it all. Unexpectedly, instead of dying and going to Hell, he transmigrated to the first year he became a disciple. As a thirty-something man in the body of a teen, he decides to do things right this time around and save the one he couldn’t save the first time around. As he goes through life a second time, truth after truths reveal themselves, with the biggest surprise being that the Shizun he hated so much in his previous life, and who Mo Ran thought hated/scorned him, actually turned out to be protecting him the entire time. 

Mo Ran, in his past life, was powerful, cruel, merciless and arrogant. There was nothing he could not obtain and he knew it. He was cynical, had a very jaded view of the world and was kind of unstable (lots of mood swings and temper tantrums). After his rebirth, he still maintained some of the arrogance and cynicism, but is more mischievous, confident and cheeky. He is very much like a husky, looks kind of scary and big, but can be extremely loyal to the ones he recognizes and can be a bit dumb sometimes. Chu Wanning on the other hand, is an unflappable person with a frost-like exterior, but a heart of gold. Basically, he cares a lot but it’s easier for him to look like he doesn’t than to voice his feelings. He gets embarrassed easily and covers his embarrassment using anger. He is extremely strong, likes peace and quiet, and always abides by the rules. 

Their relationship is kind of complicated. Initially, Mo Ran was in love with a fellow disciple called Shi Mei (despite the word meaning junior female disciple in Chinese, it’s actually the name of a male character). In the original timeline, Shi Mei died and that was the start of Mo Ran’s decline. After his rebirth, Mo Ran decides that he will do everything in his power to prevent Shi Mei from dying again. Don’t be mistaken though, Shi Mei is NOT the male lead. You’ll see as you read more that despite being in love with Shi Mei, Mo Ran is pretty obsessed with Chu Wanning because their relationship was kind of... complicated in the original timeline.

This is pretty much the premise for the story, but do be warned that it goes much deeper and darker than what you might expect (it’s rated R-18 for a reason). So why exactly am I writing all of this? To put it simply, I just kind of want to hype up the series and its adaptation a little, or at least, pique enough interest to give the live action adaptation a chance. Not gonna lie, when I heard 2HA was getting adapted, I was pretty skeptical because how. Mo Ran and Chu Wanning had a pretty physical relationship in the pre-rebirth timeline and that’s partially where the obsession that Mo Ran feels towards Chu Wanning stems from. There’s just basically a lot of unresolved sexual tension between them throughout the novel that I simply couldn’t see getting adapted. However, after thinking about it and reevaluating things from a low-expectations-standpoint, I think it might actually be possible to film something close enough to the original work. Here are some of the factors that influenced my opinion:

First, the series is set to air for 50 episodes (just like The Untamed). Why is the number of episodes important? Because it will determine how closely the adaptation will follow the original story and how much random stuff they can fit into it. Let’s take a step back and evaluate: 2HA’s novel has 311 chapters + extras while MDZS has 113 + extras. Obviously, people might have an issue with the number of episodes (”How are you going to air the same amount of episodes for a series that’s thrice as long??”) but I think it’s a good amount. Why? Because it pretty much guarantees a solid pacing that’ll keep the story moving forward without stagnating. I don’t think there is too much to worry in terms of too much source material being cut because quite a few chapters are R-18/romantic lining scenes that would not have gotten adapted anyways. Once those get deleted, I think 50 episodes is an acceptable amount.

Second, the entire production seems to be solid. The rights were actually bought by Tencent who, if you forgot, was also responsible for The Untamed. With prior success, I believe that they now have a pretty solid idea of how things should be run. Also, the CGI and world-design team is the same one as for Ashes of Love, which has me pretty stoked because while CG in chinese dramas has always been a hit or miss, Ashes of Love is definitely amongst some of the best I’ve seen (see below for examples). (P.S. there are also rumours that Lin Hai, the one responsible for The Untamed’s OST, might be working on 2HA but this is mere speculation at this point.) Overall, 2HA is looking to be like the most high-profile and expensive BL adaption yet.

Third and finally, the casting.

Holy.

Okay.

This is what has me the most hyped. 

Let’s start with Shi Mei, who will be portrayed by actress Chen Yao (or Sebrina Chen).

I know I’ve said that despite the name, Shi Mei is a male. As it turns out, likely for censorship reasons, “Immortality” could not escape from the clutches of the dreaded sex change so they went ahead and turned him into a girl. While not ideal, in my opinion, it actually works out pretty nicely here. In this case, it means that Mo Ran is in love with a female character which would further draw censorship’s attention away from the fact that Mo Ran really has a thing for his beautiful shizun. While it would have been perfect if everything could go according to source material, the fact that it’s Shi Mei that went through a sex change actually works pretty favourably in the grand scheme of things. Not to mention the actress set to play Shi Mei has some good experience acting similar roles so overall, I say that I trust her.

Next, we have Chu Wanning who will be played by Luo Yunxi (or Leo Luo).

For this character, I have no worries whatsoever. If you’re unfamiliar with this actor, I highly recommend you give Ashes of Love a try. He played the 2nd lead and ugh. He’s so good at playing beautiful and elegant characters that are forced to undergo a ton of suffering and pain. Luo Yunxi used to be a professional ballet dancer so he moves with grace and his fight scenes are amazing to watch. Also, he has great control over his facial expressions. He’s able to act out characters that suffer a lot without making them seem weak or powerless. Even the way he cries can be considered both beautiful and heartbreaking.

Finally, we have Mo Ran who will be portrayed by Chen Feiyu (or Arthur Chen).

Mo Ran is an extremely complex character. From pre-rebirth’s insanity and arrogance, to post-rebirth’s hope and reservation, to post-revelation’s love and devotion, the actor’s going to have a lot on his plate. Originally, when I first googled him, I thought that while he’d manage to pull off post-rebirth teen!Mo Ran fairly well given how clean and refreshing his face looks, he’d have a harder time pulling off pre-rebirth’s arrogance, craziness and general “hardness”. However, after seeing some costume designs and makeup edits, I think that the boy might just pull it off. Also, while the actor is nowhere near as solid as Luo Yunxi is, it seems that he’s willing to put in extra time and effort (as seen by his Weibo post about how he’d been studying the source material) to make up for it. I think that with enough dedication, he might just be able to pull it off.

(Psssst! By the way, keeping this strictly between you and me, another reason why I’m such a fan of this pair is because of the height difference. I mean just look at this?? Their height difference is pretty much bang on with the novel height difference after Mo Ran grew past Chu Wanning’s height. Not to mention, don’t tell me you see this and don’t automatically picture a the big dorky puppy following his reserved and cool master around?)

So yeah, all of this just to say that it might be okay to kind of have some expectations for 2HA. I really want to keep my own expectations down as low as possible given the amount of times we’ve been burned but I want to remain hopeful that, with the success of The Untamed, it can pave the way for better and more faithful danmei adaptations, with 2HA being one of them.

[silverlightqueen]

Filter - Part 2

‘There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track.’

fratboy/jock!Jimin x cheerleader!reader - e2l, smut, a n g s t, comedy, fluff 

Part of ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo!

Rating: 18 (graphic sex and mature themes)

Word Count: 16.6k+ (she’s a monster omg I’m so sorry)

Warnings - bad language, humiliation (not during sex - he just embarrasses the hell out of her in public), alcohol, drug consumption, explicit discussion of sex, locker room sex, y/n being a brat again, jimin being a dick again (but worse,,,so much worse), dom!jimin, sub!y/n, teasing, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, tit fucking, tit slapping, Jimin’s monster cock makes a return, praise, explicit dirty talk, mild degradation, exhibitionism, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, standing sex, asphyxiation, y/n and jimin argue again (multiple times), Jimin is literally the worst human being on earth in this omg I’m sorry for making him terrible, somehow I ended up putting a comment on society and the patriarchy (?) at the end but we go with it, girl power! and if your kpop boy is in this, he’s trash (unless he’s Stray Kids Minho, the only male character in this that deserves rights)

a/n: unedited lol and this really didn’t go the way it was supposed to, but I don’t hate it so here ya go, enjoy! I think in this lockdown, I’ve really started to,,,,hate men and it shows in this fic so I’m sorry to any boys that might be reading this lmao. but anyway thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess​ for proofreading this, you’re the best hype girl ever, luv u xoxo (and I promise I’ll work on The Other Half for you and @brinnalaine​ ) lmk what you think of it, I legit thrive off praise lol x

Read Part 1 first !!!

also I got the banner off google so credit to whoever made it (it has no relevance to the story but it matches the colour scheme so we roll with it lmao)

silverlightqueen masterlist

‘Good afternoon, everyone, and thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate the turn-out, and we’re super excited to see your try-outs! Today is going to be quite simple; we’ll start by speaking to you one-by-one to see the range of movements that you can do. Not everyone on the squad has to be able to fly and tumble, so don’t be worried if you can’t do certain flips or jumps – we try to include people of all abilities as long as the raw talent is there, and you’ll be able to learn a lot if you make the squad. Once we’re aware of what you can do, we’ll group you into smaller groups and teach you a simple routine, a slightly different one for each group. We’ll watch you perform the routine as a group after some practice time, and then we’ll assess your Cheer ability one by one, just a couple flips and jumps and things like that. If you really would rather not do them by yourself, that’s okay. Just let one of the squad know, and we’ll pair you with someone else who feels the same. We understand that some of you may not feel confident enough to perform in front of everyone else by yourselves. And it’s okay if you don’t have much confidence, because that’s something we will work on and help you to improve if you make the squad. Does anybody have any questions?’

Dozens of hopeful faces smile back at me, not one hand rising to ask a question, and I smile back. I was nervous about my first time doing this, speaking in front of everyone as newly elected Cheer Captain, but having the rest of the squad behind me makes me feel better. ‘Okay, great. If you could get into four lines in front of each of the seats at the desk, we’ll get started!’ I say excitedly. Irene, Jisoo, Chen and Jihyo (the most responsible people on the squad) are sat behind the desk to write down what people are able to do, the others on the squad dotted around to help if anyone needs it, and all the people here to try-out head over to the desk. I take a moment to take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and I tilt my head back to feel the sun on my face. The weather’s lovely today, warm and sunny with a slight cool breeze, perfect for cheer try-outs, and the turf of the pitch is healthy and green, not yet ruined by the studs on the bottom of the players’ football boots (training doesn’t start ‘til next week).

‘y/n, relax, babe. Everything’s going well, you did a good job,’ Jennie says from behind me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I nod. ‘Yeah, I know. It’s just… being Cheer Captain, it’s big boots to fill.’ ‘I know, but you’ve got all of us helping you out. You know we’re all here to support you. Stop stressing yourself out,’ she says, and I turn to smile at her. ‘Thank you, Jen.’ ‘Don’t thank me, because now I’ve got bad news,’ she says, looking reluctant to speak, and I side-eye her. ‘What?’ ‘We have spectators.’ ‘We always have spectators.’ ‘That’s not what I meant,’ she says, turning me to look over to the bleachers which are a few metres away. And when I spot a group of ASP boys sat there, watching us and waving when I look over, my heart nearly stops. ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding,’ I mutter, putting my hand up to shield my eyes from the sun and see them properly. And of course he’s there. Of course he is.

I haven’t seen him since a week ago today, when I ran out of his room while he was fast asleep and did the most talked about ‘Walk of Shame’ at school in the past year. All week, everyone’s been talking about me and Jimin, and somehow the rumours have spiralled out of control. My friends have reported back that they’ve heard that Hoseok and Namjoon joined us when they walked in on us, that I left before Jimin could finish, that I cried and begged him to let me cum (which my friends have denied on my part despite it being kinda true) and that I left wearing no underwear and flashed everyone on my way out. And that’s not even the worst of the rumours. I’ve tried not to comment on it when people have asked me, and it seems Jimin’s stayed quiet too – I’m sure it would’ve been hot news if he’d said anything.

I woke up the next morning aching, my entire body sore and weak (I really have no idea how I managed to leave the frat house on my feet – it must have been the adrenaline). My neck, jaw and chest were covered in purpling marks, some of them in the shape of his rings, and my waist and ass were covered in dark painful bruises from his tight grip and the endless spanking (the marks and bruises are all still there, by the way, fading but there – I had to cake the makeup on top of them this morning to cover them in my skimpy cheer kit). It hurt to sit down for too long, but it hurt to walk too, so I spent all of Sunday lying down, Jennie nursing me back to health (as she calls it – in reality, she just microwaved some soup for me, and we binge-watched Netflix in bed together). My body isn’t used to intense sex like that because not many university boys are as good at sex as Jimin is. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been zoning out all week (during lectures and seminars, when I was with my friends, at the gym, whilst studying or watching TV, when I was trying to fall in sleep, whilst showering, etc.) thinking back to mind. And I hate it – I hate him. I used to think of him with irritation and borderline rage, but now… the thought of him turns me on. It’s infuriating. I haven’t even gone over to get my stuff – not even my favourite bra (it was sexy and comfy, lacy with no underwire) – for fear of falling back under his stupid spell and getting into his bed again.

When my eyes meet his, it’s like he knows that I’m wet, a small smirk playing at his glossy lips as he runs a vascular hand through his jet-black locks, silver rings glinting in the sunlight. He looks fucking gorgeous, in a pair of loose black slacks and a loose orange shirt, a simple but flattering outfit, with his silver earrings, rings and bracelets. And the irritation inside me pushes down the arousal, and I turn away angrily, hearing their laughter over my shoulder as my eyes meet Jennie’s. ‘I can go speak to them if you want?’ she offers weakly, and I sigh. ‘There’s nothing we can say; they’re allowed to be here. We’re just gonna have to ignore them,’ I say, and she nods, throwing an arm over my shoulders and leading me towards the table.

I oversee the proceedings, making sure everything’s going well, my mind still elsewhere, but after a few minutes, the noise they’re making is unbearable. They’re loud – laughter and shouting echoing around the pitch – and it’s starting to distract the squad, and the people here to try-out. ‘Should I go tell them to shut up?’ Jennie asks, and I nod, reluctant to go over myself. She walks over, hands on her hips, and I know she’s gonna give them hell. But then I start to doubt that when I see them laughing and joking with her, before she comes back over, my expectant gaze being met by her sheepish one. ‘Well?’ I ask, and she winces. ‘They said they don’t take orders from me – only from… the Cheer Captain,’ she says slowly, and I let out a noise of irritation. Jimin being an annoying, difficult, stupid dickhead, I can understand. The others? I thought they were my friends. But obviously they find this whole situation more amusing than anything. It’s not funny for me – I slept with the guy I’m supposed to hate the most! The guy that I do hate the most.

‘I really don’t want to go over there,’ I admit, and Jennie’s eyes soften with sympathy. ‘You don’t have to, y/n, don’t feel pressured. We can cope with their noise – it’s fine, babe,’ she says reassuringly, but I feel guilty. I remember how nervous I was at try-outs, and having a group of rowdy frat boys laughing and shouting every few seconds definitely wouldn’t have helped. It’s up to me as Captain to create a comfortable environment, and with them around, this isn’t comfortable at all. I sigh, shaking my head, before I say, ‘I’ll go.’ ‘Are you sure?’ she asks, and I nod, dread building up inside me. ‘Want me to come with?’ ‘No, you just stay and keep an eye on things.’

I begin walking over, eyes fixed on the ground, and I can literally feel their eyes on me, their anticipation practically palpable. Everyone sat around the pitch is whispering, watching, desperate to see Jimin and I interact after all the rumours of the last week, and I can feel it all, making my nerves build up with every step. When I’m a few feet away from the bleachers, I look up, my eyes instantly meeting his, and I stop, staring at them for a moment. He’s endlessly amused, the smirk on his lips unbearably irritating. ‘Hey, y/n,’ he says easily, a ripple of laughter running around the group, and I don’t reply, matching his light gaze with a hard stare of my own. ‘This isn’t funny, guys, and I would’ve thought you’d know better. How do you think they’re gonna feel when they’re doing their routines and you morons are laughing? None of you can do what they’re doing, not in a million years, so don’t you dare come and sit here to rub my personal life in my face without even thinking of how rude and disruptive you’re being. You should be ashamed,’ I say neutrally, not letting any emotion into my voice, because if I do, I’ll lose my temper completely like I did last week and end up screaming at them. The other boys have the courtesy to look embarrassed of themselves, but Jimin just continues to smirk at me, running his thumb over his plump lips. My insides churn with anger at him being such a dick, but I don’t say a thing, waiting for one of them to reply. ‘Sorry, y/n. We didn’t think,’ Jin says, apologetic, and the others mutter apologies too, all except Jimin. ‘Don’t apologise. Just shut up,’ I reply before turning on my heel, walking away and ignoring the indiscernible whispers and stifled laughter.

‘Whatever you said, it definitely worked,’ Jennie says, and I nod curtly, still pissed off. ‘You okay?’ she asks, and my shoulders slump. ‘No. I’m supposed to be the Captain, I’m supposed to be nice and smiley and kind, and now I’m just angry, because of them, because of him,’ I sigh tiredly, and Jen looks at me sadly before putting an arm around my shoulders. ‘Don’t let them get you worked up, babe – today’s important, okay? Just focus on the try-outs,’ Jennie says, and I nod, trying my best to let my annoyance go, but it’s easier said than done. I wait impatiently for the first part of today to be done, desperate to have something to do so I can distract myself. And as soon as the last person has finished speaking to Jisoo, I call for everyone’s attention, telling them to start warming up. I sit down with Irene, Jisoo, Jihyo and Chen, and we quickly put people in similar-ability groups, based on the notes that the four of them have made whilst speaking to them; potential flyers, bases and spotters, and tumblers. The routines aren’t too different – just to test their dancing ability, and to see if they have the kind of body control needed for their different positions.

Once we’ve grouped them, Irene reads out the groups, the flyers with Lisa and Seulgi, bases and spotters with Kai, and tumblers with Momo, the rest of the squad supporting. I take a seat at the desk, making notes on people who catch my eye (they’re all wearing little name stickers, so I send Jennie over to find out their names). Jiwon, the pretty sophomore from last week, is really good – her dancing is great, and she’s light on her feet, the perfect flyer. I’m already certain she’ll make the team, because she’s super smiley and energetic too (I wave at her when I catch her eye, and she waves back excitedly, huge smile on her face). Watching them all learning the dances, making notes, evaluating them, it gets me in the zone. Focusing on this, I’m in my Captain mindset, having completely forgotten about the stupid disruption earlier. There’s definitely some potential here, and I have no doubt we’ll do really well at Nationals this year – I’ll be pissed if we don’t come first (and I’ll also be the first Captain in ten years that doesn’t lead us to victory, which is a pretty big deal).

Once they’ve learnt their dances, we split each group in half so there are less people to focus on, and they perform the dances to us. They’re all quite good – there’s a couple people who, bless them, will definitely not make the team, and I feel bad, but I have to be ruthless. It’s my job to make sure I give us the best chance at winning. We give them a little break after they’ve performed, and we all sit together to compare notes. We’ve pretty much all put the same people down, but we can’t make any final decisions until we watch them do their Cheer moves. ‘Okay, is everybody ready?’ I ask after getting their attention. ‘We’re going to have a look at your moves now. So they’re pretty basic, nothing too strenuous. Can someone show them what they’ve got to do?’ I say, turning to face the squad, and before anyone can speak, Kai says, ‘y/n, you should. You’re the captain after all.’ I return his mischievous grin with a hard stare, but the others all give various agreements, pushing me to show them. ‘I haven’t even warmed up,’ I mutter, everyone laughing.

‘Okay, we’ll start with a basic standing split. So, you just lift your leg, whichever your better leg is, and bring it right up like this, with your arm in front of it, and hold it there for a few seconds,’ I say, my left leg up against my body, my right arm holding my foot above my head. It’s a little painful because I haven’t warmed up, but I’ve done this move enough times that it’s pretty easy. I hear applause a little distance away, knowing it’s those stupid boys, and then everyone trying out starts clapping too, making me drop my leg and laugh embarrassedly. ‘Okay, thanks, guys, you can stop now,’ I say lightly, and everyone starts laughing. I show them all of the other moves – a full split, a pike jump, a toe touch jump, a hurdler jump, a front flip, a back flip and an aerial, getting applause for each movement, triggered by our idiot spectators. ‘So we’ll call you up one-by-one, unless you’ve asked us to go with someone else, and we’d like you to a show us a clasp, a high V, a T motion, and then go into the moves that you’re confident with. Show us your personality – we want bright and bubbly people on the squad, so don’t be afraid to chant or whatever, if you want to,’ I say as I take my seat behind the desk, Irene, Chen, Jihyo, Jisoo and Jennie sat with me, the rest of the squad sat around on the grass, enjoying the warmth and just watching the proceedings.

After a couple of people, it starts to get repetitive, but I remain focused, knowing I need to pay attention to differentiate between the good and the great. Jiwon is fantastic – she’s making the team without a doubt. Once they’re all done (nearly two hours later), I call them all over to sit beside the desk. ‘Thank you all so much for coming, and well done. What you did takes a lot of courage and you should all be so proud of yourselves, whether you make the squad or not. We’ve got your details from earlier, so we’ll be in contact within the next couple days to let you know if you made it. Thank you, and you are free to go,’ I smile, all of them letting out expressions of gratitude as they get up, heading to the bleachers to get their stuff and go. ‘Jiwon!’ I call, the girl turning to look. ‘Can I have a word?’ I say, the girl telling her friends to wait for her as she walks towards me. I head over to her, and we meet in the middle of the pitch, with no-one around. I don’t want anyone to hear and accuse me of favouritism.

‘Hey, y/n.’ ‘Hi, Jiwon. You did a really good job, definitely shone through. You’re fantastic,’ I say, and she smiles shyly. ‘Thank you. I have been cheering for a long time, though, so I did have an advantage,’ she says humbly, and I wave it off. ‘Don’t give me excuses – just accept the compliment. Anyway, I probably shouldn’t say this, but you caught a lot of our eyes, Jiwon. I’m pretty certain you’ll make the squad. First practice is next Saturday, 2 ‘til 4, and we’re just gonna do an introductory session, get to know one another and have a proper look at what everyone can do. Make sure you’re on time, and ready to try out some stunts. And work on your pike jump over the week – your fingers were literally millimetres away from your toes. A little practice, and you’ll have it perfect. And you were the teeniest bit wobbly in your standing split, so just work on your balance a little,’ I say, and she nods enthusiastically, taking in every word. Whilst I’m speaking, I notice Jimin approaching us, and Jiwon does too, looking flustered when she spots him. But she sees the way I ignore him completely, and does the same, just listening to me.

‘Thank you, y/n, I really appreciate it. Also, can I ask for your advice about something?’ she asks, and I nod, surprised she wants my advice. Jimin is now stood right beside us, but neither of us pay attention to his presence, keeping our eyes on each other. ‘What do you do to warm up for your splits? I warm up, but it’s always painful when I do them, and you did them really well, so I thought I’d ask.’ ‘I do a lot of yoga, actually, which really helps. We always get here around twenty minutes before practice, and the others do laps and things like that to warm up, but I do a bit of yoga, which helps loosen my body a lot. And then, just before I start a routine, I bend in half, and hold my head against my shins for like half a minute, to loosen my legs. It’s a little painful, but it gets your legs ready for the stretch that you feel when you’re in the splits,’ I say, and she listens eagerly to every word. His presence is starting to bother me, especially the way he’s completely silent, a stupid smirk on his face. ‘Thank you, y/n. I’m gonna head off now, but thanks for the advice. Are you going to KPN’s party tonight?’ she asks, and I sigh, thinking back to the text invite that Jackson from Kappa Phi Nu sent out a couple days ago. ‘I’m not sure. I was gonna just head to the gym for a late-night workout but Jennie’s trying to convince me to go,’ I explain, and she nods. ‘Well, I hope you do come. It’d be nice to see you there,’ she says, and I smile at her, touched. And then I lose my patience, turning to him with annoyance, and he grins, draping his arms around our waists.

‘My two favourite girls,’ he says with a grin, making me want to slap him, and we both push his arms off us in disgust, moving away from him slightly. ‘Look at you two. Best friends now, huh? If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even know each other, so I think a ‘thank you’ is in order,’ he says smugly, my eyes widening at him as Jiwon shoots him a dirty look. God, I love this girl. ‘Fuck you, Park,’ I say without thinking, and his eyes sparkle, mischief in his grin as he replies, ‘I already did, babe, keep up.’ And then he reaches into his back pocket, pulling his hand back out with something black and lacy hanging off his finger. My favourite bra. ‘Remember? You left this?’ ‘Park!’ I hiss, grabbing it from his hand and panicking for a moment, not sure where to put it (my cheer kit doesn’t have pockets) before I tuck it into his front pocket hastily. It’s too late, though, because everyone in the area who was watching saw it, laughter rippling around us. ‘I would’ve brought your pants too, but they were ripped, so I figured there was no point,’ he says, and I give him an angry stare, jaw hurting from how hard I’m clenching it. He just grins back, Jiwon looking between us for a few seconds before she says, ‘my friends are waiting for me, y/n, so I’m gonna go. I hope to see you later.’ ‘Okay, Jiwon. See you. Remember to work on your pike jump, and your standing splits. If you get here early, we can do some yoga together,’ I say, trying to push down the humiliation as the girl nods with a smile before she goes to join her friends who are watching us. Everyone’s watching us.

‘Your standing splits were good,’ he says, and I sigh, rolling my eyes. ‘I’m literally giving you a compliment!’ ‘I don’t care, you fucking dick.’ ‘Wow, never mind. I was gonna say that I could put your flexibility to good use, but forget it,’ he says, failing to hold back his grin, and I narrow my eyes at him. ‘Why the fuck did you come, Park? I thought I made it clear last week that I’m not interested in you,’ I say harshly, hurt momentarily appearing on his face before he masks it with a smirk, making me feel a little guilty. ‘We always come to watch try-outs. Entertainment for a couple hours. And it doesn’t hurt seeing you in this kit either,’ he says, taking the hem of my skirt into his hand, fingers momentarily skimming against my thigh, and I slap his hand away, feeling exposed in my kit all of a sudden. It’s quite revealing – a short blue skirt with a white border and a long-sleeved blue cropped top with shoulder cut-outs, with our school name written across the chest in white. It’s super cute though, even more so with the white pumps and frilly white ankle socks, and the blue and white bows on our ponytails. The boys wear the same colour scheme, blue and white t-shirts and shorts.

‘I swear to God, Park, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today,’ I say tiredly, and he pouts, eyes still sparkling with amusement. ‘You were last week.’ ‘Things change. You can go now,’ I say pointedly, and he grins, taking a step closer to me, so close I can see every flaw on his face that he doesn’t have, and places a gentle hand on my waist. ‘I’ll go, but one last thing. I’ve gotta go drop my shit off in the changing rooms – Coach said we all have to, ready for next week – and I’ll wait in there for… hmm, shall I be nice? Okay, ten minutes. If I know you as well as I think I do, you’ve been thinking about me, and what happened last Saturday, all week long. I have. And I want a round two. I’ll wait for ten minutes,’ he says, voice low and face serious, before his whole demeanour changes, smile stretching his lips, hand falling from my waist as he takes a step back. My lips are parted and face warm, eyes locked with his, and my obviously affected appearance makes him let out a chuckle. ‘Ten minutes, angel. If not, I’ll see you tonight, at KPN, and you can get your bra from me there instead,’ he says with a smile, before turning and walking away, leaving me slightly stunned.

‘Close your mouth, babe, you’ll catch flies,’ Jennie says drily, and I turn to look at her, trying to compose myself. ‘He just asked me for a round two in the changing rooms,’ I whisper, and she gasps loudly, catching the attention of everyone around us. ‘Shut up!’ I hiss, and she claps a hand over her mouth. ‘Sorry, sorry. I’m just… shook. Are you gonna go?’ she asks, and I hesitate to answer, his dark eyes in my mind, my underwear embarrassingly damp. ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Bitch, stop kidding yourself – you want to, so just go,’ she says, but before I can reply, Kai joins us. ‘Um, y/n, there are a couple people waiting to ask you some questions,’ he says, and I sigh, looking over his shoulder to see some people hovering. I quickly rush over to them, listening to their questions (which are so unnecessary, might I add? Why do you need to know where to get the uniform from, or the date of Nationals this year, if you’re not even on the squad yet?) and answer them as quickly as I can, trying to be polite, but impatient, worried that my ten minutes will run out.

As soon as the last person’s done, Jennie grabs my arm and whispers, ‘it’s been nine minutes. I’ll pack stuff up, you just go.’ ‘Thank you, you’re the best,’ I whisper back. I rush off, speed walking across the pitch before someone can stop me, in the direction of the changing rooms. When I reach the door, I push it open slowly, listening out for any voices. And then I wonder – is this a prank? Is this payback for me leaving him last week? Are they all gonna be waiting there to jump out and laugh at me? But, no. He wouldn’t. Surely, he wouldn’t stoop that low? ‘Jimin?’ I whisper, hearing nothing back, and I venture in. ‘Jimin?’ I say a little louder, walking down the main aisle slowly, looking between the rows of lockers on either side of me. I call his name again, and when I reach the end of the lockers, stepping out into the open changing area, a wooden bench running around the walls, I feel a pair of hands push me up against the last locker, the metal clang echoing loudly around the room as I try to get my bearings, blinking to see Jimin stood in front of me, his body pressed up against mine.

‘You took eleven minutes, you fucking tease,’ he whispers, hand appearing at my throat and tightening instantly, my mind momentarily thinking back to last week, when he left bruises the shape of his rings around my neck. ‘Didn’t mean to. Got held up,’ I breathe out, and he pushes my head back at an unnatural angle, his dark eyes, blown wide with desire, locking with my own. ‘How can I believe you, after you left last week?’ he spits out, and I feel my stomach turn; I didn’t think he’d be that bothered, but it’s obvious he’s angry that I left him. ‘Never said I’d stay,’ I reply, with a small grin, and he growls angrily, pushing up against me even harder. ‘You’re the first girl that’s ever left without me telling her to. Trying to play me at my own game?’ he asks, amusement creeping into his voice, but he’s mainly angry, veins corded tight and body tense, fist curled and jaw clenched. ‘No. I just don’t like you,’ I reply, voice strained because of his hand tight at my neck, head beginning to go dizzy, and he lets out a humourless laugh.

‘Sure. Of course you don’t. Let’s see how much you don’t like me,’ he says, free hand pushing one of my legs out wider, so he has space to put his hand up my skirt. His finger slides beneath my tight safety shorts, and he lets out a laugh when he feels how wet my underwear is, making me look away from him in embarrassment. ‘Look at me,’ he demands, my eyes flitting back to his as he pushes my pants out of the way, swiping a finger along my dripping wet slit. I let out a shaky breath, and he chuckles. ‘I think you’re lying to me, angel. I think you actually do like me. A lot,’ he grins as he pulls his hand from my skirt, lifting his finger, glistening with my arousal, to my mouth. I keep my lips pressed shut, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Don’t make me punish you. This isn’t a repeat of last week – there’s other things I want to do to you,’ he says lowly, a thrill running through me, but I’m still as stubborn as last week. ‘I’m not here for a round two. I’m here for my bra,’ I exhale, and he rolls his eyes with a little laugh, his hand tightening at my neck. ‘You can earn it.’ ‘What is it… with you stealing my… things?’ ‘I didn’t steal anything. You left your bra when you did your little walk of shame. So it’s mine now – it’s been in my room for a week, with your tight jeans and your pretty top and those cute heels, and that little bag, with your keys and lip-gloss and pads in it. And because it’s all mine, I want you to earn it back,’ he replies before leaning down and pressing his lips to my ear, his beautiful scent flooding my senses.

‘Let me fuck your tits,’ he whispers, making my stomach clench with the thought of it, before he pulls back from me, searching my face for any kind of reaction. ‘And they say romance is dead,’ I whisper dryly, and he laughs, a startled laugh, as though he wasn’t expecting a joke from me. It makes my heart flutter a little, which then makes me want to slap myself. ‘Is that a yes?’ he asks with a mischievous grin. ‘No. It isn’t,’ I reply, and he sighs before letting go of me. ‘Fine. Let’s just talk then, if you don’t wanna fuck,’ he says neutrally, sitting down on the bench opposite me, and I’m disarmed at his sudden 180. ‘Sit down, y/n,’ he says, motioning to the bench and, for once, I listen to him, sitting down. He leans back against the wall and runs a hand through his hair, legs spread, thick thighs on display. Last week, the lighting from his bedroom lamp was low and sultry, but the lighting in here is bright and cold, and he still looks fucking gorgeous.

‘Who did you tell?’ he asks, and I know he’s asking what I’ve been wondering all week – who actually knows the full story. ‘Who did you tell?’ I ask, purposely being difficult, and he rolls his eyes, grin pulling at his lips. ‘Hobi and Tae are the only ones that know the full story. Jin, Yoongi, Joon and Kook know vaguely. Now tell me who you told,’ he says, and I’m surprised he’s kept it only to his closest friends – I thought for sure the whole frat would know. ‘y/n. Who did you tell?’ Nayeon, Lisa, Mina, Irene, Dahyun, Yeri, Jeongyeon, Seulgi, Sana, Jisoo, Chaeyoung, Joy, Momo, Wendy, Jihyo, Tzuyu and- ‘Jennie.’ ‘That’s it? Just Jennie?’ ‘And.. a couple of the other girls.’ He raises an eyebrow, obviously not believing me. ‘Did you tell them everything?’ ‘Only Jennie knows about me leaving when you… wanted me not to,’ I say, and he nods, looking a little embarrassed, and I feel so guilty, but I had to. ‘Why did you do it?’ he asks quietly, and I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. ‘Because… we’re supposed to hate each other, and we had sex, Jimin. I couldn’t share a bed with you after that, I just… couldn’t.’ ‘Would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he asks, and I sigh, not wanting him to ask these questions, not wanting him to entertain this possibility. Because Jimin’s the type of boy to want what he can’t have, and as soon as I let him have me, more than just physically, he won’t want me anymore.

I get up and walk over to him, his eyes on me, and when I’m stood right in front of him, in between his legs, I drop to my knees. ‘y/n,’ he says slowly, as though he wants me to wait, but I can’t talk about this right now. ‘Shut up,’ I say before pulling my top over my head and throwing it behind me, leaving me in my bra. He’s quickly distracted, eyes lost in my chest, and I can see the bulge in his jeans growing already. I lift a hand to his crotch, palming him over his jeans, and his head falls back, a little moan falling from his lips. ‘Please, y/n, don’t tease,’ he breathes out, and I clench involuntarily at getting him like this. ‘Take your jeans off,’ I whisper, and he quickly unbuttons and unzips them, holding himself up from the bench and pushing them down with his underwear, just enough to free his cock. He’s only half-hard, but he’s already big, girthy and long, making me lick my lips at the sight of him. He tugs on his length a couple times to get himself fully hard, letting out little grunts, and I feel more arousal dampen my underwear. After a few seconds, I push his hands away, taking his length into my hands, and he shuffles forwards on the bench, giving me proper access to his cock.

I collect my saliva up on my tongue and spit at his dick, the saliva landing on his tip and slowly dripping down his length. I use my hand to spread it out before I take his swollen head into my mouth, kitten licking the tip before swirling my tongue around him. He pulls my bow out of my hair and grabs my ponytail, but restrains himself from trying to control my movements, letting me take my time with him. I don’t wait long before I’m taking him as far into my mouth as possible, before slowly bobbing my head up and down his length. ‘God, angel, your mouth is so fucking good. So good for me, such a dirty girl,’ he praises, head back against the wall but eyes on me, and when I look up at him through my lashes, he grins down at me. I hollow out my cheeks, trying to get my lips around the base of his cock, but my jaw is already hurting from my mouth being around his thick length. ‘Get me all the way in, baby, I know you can,’ he prompts, and I try my hardest, gagging around him, and it’s so fucking messy, saliva around my mouth and dripping down my chin. He decided to help, pushing my head even further down, and when my nose hits his skin, his abdomen contracts, a heavenly moan of my name falling from his lips.

Once I deem his cock sufficiently wet, I remove him from my mouth and reach behind me to unclasp my sports bra, pulling it off, feeling satisfied when his eyes are locked on my breasts. ‘Stand up,’ I say, and he does so, quickly, moving aside to let me sit on the bench. I perch on the edge, knees together, and Jimin stands in front of me, one leg on either side of mine. ‘Push your tits together for me, angel,’ he says, and I do so, the boy moving even closer to me. I feel his head against the bottom of my breasts, wet and hard, before slowly pushing up, breath catching in his throat as he goes as far as he can, his pink tip emerging through my cleavage. ‘Fuck, that feels good. Hold them tighter, babe,’ he says, and it starts to hurt when I do so, but the pleasure on his face as he thrusts, fucking my tits aggressively, more than makes up for it. I spit down into the valley of my breasts, for better lubrication, and he lets out a moan, thrusting even harder. And then he lifts a hand, landing a slap on one of my breasts. ‘Um, ow,’ I say, and he lets out a little chuckle, his thrusting not faltering for a moment. ‘So soft. Best tits I’ve ever seen,’ he says, landing a slap on the other, and I stop myself from slapping his balls because I don’t want to kill his vibe. And he’d probably enjoy it, the kinky bastard. I look down to see precum leaking from his tip, and I lean down, meeting one of his thrusts with my tongue, licking his precum, and he lets out a moan. ‘God, yes, baby. So good for me,’ he grunts, before his thrusts start to slow, until he eventually moves away from me.

‘Love your tits, angel, but I wanna cum in you instead,’ he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the bench. ‘Put your clothes back on,’ he says, my eyes widening in confusion. ‘What? Why?’ ‘Because I’ve always wanted to fuck you while you’re wearing your cheer kit. Hurry up and put it on before I decide to leave,’ he says pointedly, and I feel guilt surge through me as I grab my bra from the floor, pulling it back on, and turning around for him to clasp it for me. He does so, taking ages (it seems he’s better at taking bras off than putting them on), and then I pull my top back over my head. As soon as I’m redressed, he pushes me up against the nearest locker, winding me, before his hand strays down to beneath my skirt. ‘You gonna take these booty shorts off before I rip them off you?’ he says, plump lips against my neck, and I push him off, quickly pulling off my safety shorts (these are the only pair I have at the moment – I ordered a pair online and they’re due in a couple weeks – so I really don’t need him ripping them). ‘They’re safety shorts, not booty shorts,’ I mutter, as I kick them off, and he doesn’t waste any time in pushing me up against the lockers again. He presses his lips to mine in a tame kiss (he doesn’t even use his tongue), mouths moving together for a few seconds before he pulls away, sinking to his knees.

‘You’ve been on your knees for me twice now, baby, so I think it’s time I repaid the favour. And I believe I promised to eat your pussy with my… pretty lips,’ he says, quoting my words from last week, and my stomach turns as he grabs the front of my underwear. He violently pulls at them, tearing them away from my body, and I refrain from kneeing him in the face for ruining a second pair of pants. He pushes my legs apart before pulling one over his shoulder, his face inches from where I need him. ‘Jimin… please,’ I whine, and he chuckles, expelling warm air across my dripping wet core, making me shudder. ‘See, baby, you’re being so good for me today, saying my name, and begging like a good girl. And good girls don’t get punished, don’t get spanked until their ass is raw. Good girls get rewarded,’ he says before his head disappears beneath my skirt and I feel him lick a slow bold stripe across my slit, my hips jerking at the feeling, pushing my core closer to his face. He swirls his tongue around my clit, and I let out a whimper of his name, making him chuckle as he grabs onto my waist to hold me in place. ‘So fucking sweet, angel. Best pussy I’ve ever tasted. Could eat you all day.’ He laps at me like there’s no tomorrow, my hands gripping onto his strong shoulders and head thrown back against the lockers. He brings his fingers to my clit, rubbing slow circles, at the stimulation at my bundle of nerves paired with his long, quick licks have me moaning out his name, my stomach already tightening with the threat of an orgasm.

And then he pushes a finger between my folds, pumping in and out of me as I clench around him. ‘Gotta stretch you out for my fat cock, baby, take it like a good girl. Stop clenching, babe,’ he murmurs soothingly against my inner thigh, his thick finger quickly being joined by another. ‘Ah, Jimin, feels so fucking good,’ I moan out, and he hums in response before attaching his lips to my clit, sucking at the bundle of nerves before adding another finger, three thick digits stretching me out. ‘Such a good little slut for me, angel. You take my fingers so fucking well,’ he says, lips still against my clit, and I feel my high nearing quickly, moans and whimpers escaping from my lips every few seconds. He’s so good with his mouth, his plump lips wrapping around my clit and sucking harshly, before he licks along my folds, fingers still pumping into me, curling against my spongy spot every few seconds, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it, the pace of his fingers ever increasing, his lips and tongue attacking my core with passion.

And then we hear the door of the changing room open, followed by a group of loud male voices, laughing and joking. Before I can even register it, Jimin’s on his feet, scooping me into his arms and practically sprinting into the shower area, rushing into one of the cubicles. He puts me down carefully, a hand over my mouth, and I feel my orgasm fading away because of the fear of being caught by his teammates. And in my mind, the logical thing to do is to be silent and wait for them to leave, right? But Jimin isn’t logical, and he pushes me up against the brick wall, pumping his cock in his free hand. He removes his hand from my mouth, tapping my left leg before tapping his shoulder, and I get the message, putting my leg up over his shoulder, despite thinking that this is a terrible idea. And then he puts his hand back over my mouth before slowly sliding into me, his huge cock stretching me out painfully, filling me up completely, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to moan out his name, my head falling back against the wall with a dull thud. ‘What was that?’ I hear one of the boys say, the others asking what he’s talking about, and I feel panic fill me. But along with the panic is arousal at the idea of being caught, my pussy gushing around him, and he smirks, slowly thrusting into me, the curve of his dick allowing him to hit my g-spot (I’m certain Megan wrote Captain Hook about him).

I hear footsteps nearing us, before they stop abruptly. ‘Oh, my God,’ I hear a voice say quietly, before more footsteps can be heard. ‘What?’ ‘Look.’ ‘Whoa. Is that…?’ ‘Yes. One of the cheerleader’s bows.’ Panic strikes through me, and Jimin just grins, continuing to fuck me slowly, making me feel every inch of him. ‘And those are the shorts they wear, right?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘And are those… pants?’ ‘Yep. And they look ripped.’ ‘Is someone fucking in here?’ ‘No, we’d be able to hear them. They’re probably gone.’ ‘You think?’ ‘Yes. And I don’t wanna double check. Let’s just go.’ I feel my fear ebbing away as the footsteps get quieter before the door opens and closes. We’re both silent for a few moments, just to make sure they’re gone, before Jimin pulls all the way out of me, slamming back in. I let out a loud moan against his hand, which he moves to rest at the base of my throat, cock hammering into me ruthlessly. ‘Look how wet you are for me, baby. My little bitch likes the idea of getting caught with a fat cock inside her, huh? Does the idea of being walked in on turn you on, babe?’ he asks, and all I can do is nod, moans falling from my lips every few seconds as he slams into me, the drag of his cock against my walls making me weak.

‘Taking me so well, angel, letting me fill you up and stretch you out so good, baby,’ he praises, voice strained with effort, as he pounds into me, my mind completely blank of anything, of everything but him. I feel my orgasm nearing, my walls clenching around him, but that doesn’t stop him plunging into me, hard, his balls slapping up against my ass, one hand gripping onto his shoulder whilst the other is splayed against the cold wall. My leg is beginning to hurt being up against his shoulder, especially because all my body weight is resting on the toes of my other foot (I can’t get my whole foot on the floor), but he seems to be enjoying it, able to go deep into me at this angle, his tip hitting my cervix. ‘Look how flexible you are, baby, stretching for me like a good little whore. Gonna put your flexibility to good use all the time, babe – I’ll help keep you in shape for Cheer,’ he promises, fingers straying to my clit as he speaks. And then I feel him twitching inside me. ‘Are you close?’ I ask, and he nods, eyes fluttering shut, and I reach down to cup his balls, trying to push him over the edge. ‘Ah, fuck, feels good, y/n, your pussy’s so fucking good. Gonna cum, gonna fill you up like a good little slut,’ he breathes out, and I tighten around him, his head falling back as he lets out a loud moan of my name, hot cum shooting out of his cock, painting my walls. He continues thrusting, hips stuttering as he works himself through his orgasm, and I stay clenched around him to prolong his high.

Once he’s done, he pulls out, and puts me down carefully, taking a moment to get his breath back before tucking his softening cock into his underwear, zipping himself back up. He looks up at me with a grin, his hair messy, face still glistening with my arousal, eyes dark. ‘Good talk,’ he grins before turning and walking away. ‘Um, Jimin?’ I call after him, stepping out of the cubicle with shaky legs. ‘Yes, y/n?’ he asks, turning to look at me, eyes sparkling with mirth. ‘I didn’t…’ I trail off, unsure of what to say. ‘What? You didn’t cum?’ he asks, and I nod, my stomach twisting with hurt when he smirks and says, ‘I know, angel. Only good girls get to cum. And good girls don’t leave in the middle of the night after being asked to stay.’ My mouth drops open at the thought that he’s not going to make me cum, and he grins even wider, before taking a little pity on me. ‘I’ll tell you what, baby. Come to KPN tonight and come find me, and I’ll make you cum as many times as you want,’ he says, but I’m still furious. ‘You’re not being serious?’ ‘Deadly.’ ‘Jimin, please,’ I say, and he just grins back at me. ‘You might wanna clean yourself up. Got my cum dripping down your leg,’ he says, and I look down to see his thick white release slowly trailing down my skin. I curse under my breath, and when I look back up, Jimin’s already out of sight, whistling a merry tune, before I hear the changing room door open and close behind him. And when I slowly walk towards the lockers, I realise my bow, safety shorts and ripped pants are gone too. And he still hasn’t given me back my favourite bra.

I head over to the sinks to clean myself up, cursing at him the entire time. ‘Fucking bastard, and his stupidly big fat fucking cock, stealing all my stuff and leaving me high and dry with his fucking cum dripping down my fucking leg. Didn’t even give me any fucking aftercare, fucking dick,’ I rant angrily as I take my hair out of its messy ponytail, running my fingers through it. Luckily, I haven’t sweated off any of my makeup, the fading marks from last week fully covered, but it’s still clear I’ve just been fucked. And the fact that I don’t have anything on under my skirt isn’t helpful at all – thank God it isn’t windy today because otherwise, I’ll be flashing everyone. Once I’ve deemed myself okay to leave, I push open the changing room doors, looking side to side to make sure no one’s around before I slip out of the door, quickly making my way to mine and Jennie’s accommodation, trying to ignore how desperate I am for a release right now. And not just any release – one on Jimin’s cock. But that’ll have to wait for later – I’ve got a party to get ready for.

‘Jennie! y/n!’ Yeri exclaims when we walk into the kitchen through the back door, throwing her arms around us in a hug. ‘Hey, Yeri,’ we reply, hugging her back, and when she moves away, her eyes widen. ‘Jen, you look good, but y/n! You look good, girl!’ she exclaims. ‘Oh, thanks, Yeri,’ Jennie says sarcastically, but she doesn’t mean it – Jennie always opts for comfort over fashion at frat parties, usually wearing mom jeans, or a loose t-shirt dress (which she rocks by the way – no one pulls off the casual aesthetic like Jennie). And I never dress up too much, sticking to a simple outfit and dressing it up with heels and jewellery. But today, I decided to go all out, dressing to impress in a tight little black dress, hem around my upper thighs, ruched with a bardot neck (I had to forgo a bra, and used tit tape instead to make sure they don’t sag). I’m in a pair of black sparkly heels, much higher than last week’s, with a silver choker, silver hoops and a thin silver bracelet. Jennie has on a shoulder bag, big enough to fit my things in it, so I didn’t bother with a bag, my phone in my hand and my lipgloss, oil blotting sheets and keys in Jennie’s bag. ‘Thanks, Yeri. But look at you! This top is so cute!’

We greet all our friends, Jeongyeon pushing cups into mine and Jennie’s hands (I’m not sure what it is but it tastes nice), before I take a seat between Tzuyu and Lisa at the kitchen island, instantly getting into a conversation about Cheer. KPN parties are always really laidback – people wear whatever they want, drink whatever they want, and I never feel uncomfortable here, or pressured to act a certain way. I can just be myself, and enjoy the night with my friends. ASP’s the opposite in the sense that there’s always pressure – to look good, to end the night with someone, to give everyone something to gossip about.

‘y/n! You came!’ Jackson exclaims when he sees me, pulling me into an expensive smelling hug. ‘Hey, Jackson!’ ‘I was about to make a comment about how late you are, but you look really good, so I’ll let you off,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes. ‘Since when do you have to arrive to parties at a certain time?’ ‘You wouldn’t know, y/n, you’re always fashionably late,’ Tzuyu teases, and I cover my face with embarrassment – never have I arrived at a party before my friends (there’s just something about being there before the party has properly started that makes me want to cringe). ‘Anyway, what are you ladies drinking?’ ‘Diet Coke,’ Tzuyu says as she holds her cup up, Lisa drinking the same. ‘I’m drinking whatever the hell this is – Jeongyeon gave it to me,’ I say, and Jackson takes the cup, sipping from it, before his eyes widen. ‘Yo, this shit slaps. Where’s Jeongyeon? I want some,’ he says, turning away in search of her, and I call after him, ‘get me some more too, please!’

‘So… y/n,’ Lisa says with a knowing grin, making me raise an eyebrow at her. ‘Yes?’ I ask, she and Tzuyu exchanging an amused glance. ‘This dress is nice,’ Tzuyu says with the same knowing look as Lisa, and I look between them suspiciously. ‘Thanks,’ I say slowly, their smiles widening even more. ‘Who are you dressing to impress?’ Lisa asks, and I realise where this conversation is going, letting out a laugh. ‘Ah, you two. Can a girl not dress for herself?’ I grin, both of them raising their eyebrows. ‘Of course. But the timing’s a little suspicious. Not hoping for a round two, are we?’ Tzuyu asks, and I bite my lip embarrassedly. ‘What if we already had round two?’ I say quietly, both of their mouths falling open. ‘What?’ Lisa exclaims, drawing the attention of those around us, and I shut my eyes despairingly. ‘Keep your voice down, stupid!’ Tzuyu exclaims, Lisa murmuring an apology, still looking at me with wide eyes. ‘When?’ ‘Earlier, after practice. I met him in their changing rooms,’ I say, both of them looking even more shocked with each word. ‘Oh, my God! You two are, like, stuck in your own little forbidden and scandalous romance!’ Lisa whispers, and I shoot her a hard look. ‘It’s not a romance. He’s still, like, the most annoying and stupid person I’ve ever met. I mean, he literally left without making me cum, on purpose. He said if I showed up here tonight, he’d make it up to me,’ I whisper, both of them gasping quietly. ‘No way!’ Tzuyu says, and I nod. ‘So you’re gonna have a round three?’ Lisa asks, and I shrug. ‘I’m actually not sure. I don’t know whether I came so that I could leave with him, or so that I could piss him off by getting with someone else,’ I say, both of their eyes lighting up. ‘Get with someone else,’ they chorus, and I let out a gentle laugh.

Before I can reply, Jackson reappears with two cups in hand. ‘It’s Fireball Whisky with cream soda,’ he says, and I blink in surprise, not sure whether to be impressed or disgusted at Jeongyeon’s weird concoction. He takes the empty cup from my hand and hands me a new one, and I thank him as I take a sip. It really is good, and I know I need to be careful not to drink too much – I’ll forget just how strong whisky is and then find myself hunched over the toilet in a few hours, vomiting it all back up. ‘Are you guys gonna just sit here and chat all night? This is a party! We’re supposed to be having a good time,’ Jackson says, and I exchange a glance with the girls. ‘We are having a good time,’ Tzuyu replies mildly, and Jackson rolls his eyes. ‘So you’re not gonna come dance?’ he asks, and we all shake our heads. As much as I do love getting lit, it’s nice to just have a gossip with the girls sometimes. ‘Maybe later,’ I say, and he frowns, shaking his head. ‘You guys are boring.’ ‘Go find Joy, she’ll dance with you,’ Tzuyu suggests, and Lisa nods before adding, ‘and Dahyun. Come find us in a couple hours, and then we’ll dance with you too.’

Jackson quickly disappears, calling out for Joy and Dahyun, and the spot where he was stood is quickly occupied by a boy who I recognise as Chan, one of the boys on the team and a KPN brother. ‘Hi, Chan,’ Tzuyu says, the boy giving us a smile. ‘Hi, guys. You’re all cheerleaders, right?’ he asks, and we nod, confused as to where he’s going with this. ‘Do you wear these, like… little black shorts under your cheer outfits? Like super small, tight, black shorts?’ he asks, and I realise, dread flooding through me as we all nod. ‘They’re called safety shorts,’ Lisa says, and Chan nods. ‘I thought so. We saw a pair earlier, in the changing rooms, with one of the bows you guys wear, and some… underwear. Ripped. So I was just… curious, I guess,’ he says, Tzuyu and Lisa both turning their gazes to me. ‘Um… Chan, I’d be really grateful if you didn’t mention that to anyone,’ I say embarrassedly, the girls stifling laughs as Chan’s face falls with shock. ‘Oh! They were yours?’ he asks, and I nod, totally humiliated. ‘Who was, um, with you when you came in? There was just a couple of you, right?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘There were a few of us, actually. But it’s fine, I’ll tell them not to mention it to anyone. Your secret’s safe with us, y/n,’ he says with a grin, and I give him a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Chan.’ ‘No problem. Before I never mention it again, I just have one question,’ he says tentatively, and I close my eyes briefly, nodding as I brace myself. ‘Were you… in there when we went in?’ he asks, and I take a deep breath before nodding, his eyes widening. ‘In the shower cubicles, right?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘I thought I heard a banging noise,’ he says, and the girls burst out laughing. ‘No, no, it’s because I hit my head on the wall,’ I explain over their laughter, even more embarrassed now. ‘Sorry,’ Chan says, and I wave it off. ‘It’s fine, it’s my own fault for fucking in a public place,’ I say bluntly, and he lets out a gentle laugh.

The girls are still laughing when Chan leaves with the promise of never mentioning it again, and I shoot them dirty looks. ‘Are you gonna stop laughing any time soon or should I just go?’ I ask venomously, and their laughter gets even louder, making me roll my eyes. ‘Fine. I’m going,’ I say, pushing myself off my seat and leaving with my phone and drink in my hands, their laughter continuing behind me. I decide to venture into the living room, but regret my decision the second I walk in and lock eyes with Hyunjin – Chan’s whispering something to him, and he bites down on his lip when he sees me, obviously holding back a laugh at the irony of seeing me as Chan fills him in. I turn on my heel, instantly heading back into the kitchen and ignoring Hyunjin’s loud laughter behind me. But when my eyes meet Lisa’s and she bursts out laughing again, Tzuyu laughing too, I make a decision – I want to go home. I know none of them mean anything by it but it’s really… getting to me. I don’t like that nearly every conversation I’ve had in the last week has come back to Jimin – in fact, I hate it. I’m more than my sexual escapades, whether or not they’re with my worst enemy. I came here to have a good time with my friends tonight – not to speak about my sex life.

‘Mark,’ I say, catching the boy beside me offguard. ‘Oh, hey, y/n. You okay?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I’m great. You?’ ‘I’m good, thanks. What’s up? You look… stressed.’ ‘I’m okay, I just… have you seen Jennie?’ I ask, and he nods, taking me by surprise. ‘I saw her go out the back door a couple minutes ago, with Seulgi and Nayeon,’ he says, and I grin at him. ‘Thank you, Mark, you’re the best!’ I exclaim, not giving him a second to reply before I quickly head towards the back door, ducking through the doorway before anyone else can speak to me. There’s a group of boys stood near the door, passing around a joint, and I quickly head past them, eyes skimming over the surroundings to see if the girls are here. I spot their three dark heads close together, looking at something on Seulgi’s phone, and I rush over. Nayeon spots me first, concern on her face as she watches me head towards them. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ she asks, the other two girls looking up at hearing my name. ‘I… I’m gonna leave,’ I say, all three of them looking at me in surprise – you usually have to drag me away from a party. ‘Why? You look hot, girl! You can’t waste this look!’ Seulgi exclaims, throwing an arm around my shoulders, and I give her a grateful smile. ‘Thanks, Seulgi, but I just… I’m fed up of being teased about Jimin. Maybe it’s God punishing me for sleeping with him, but for fuck’s sake, isn’t him being an idiot punishment enough? I don’t need everyone bringing it up every two fucking seconds,’ I complain, the three of them exchanging amused glances.

‘Oh, babe, it sucks, but you’ve gotta be thick skinned. You have to remember that you have publicly hated him for as long as we’ve all known you, pretty much. The fact that you’ve slept with him is, like, a big deal. It’s hot gossip. Of course people are gonna want to talk about it, and you are gonna get teased. You can’t let it get to you, or people will do it even more,’ Jennie says rationally, and I know she’s right, but I still don’t want to accept it, pouting. ‘I know, you’re right, but I’m already in a bad mood now, and I just wanna go home,’ I say, and I know I’m being immature, but I don’t care. I notice Nayeon’s eyes wander from me to over my shoulder and then she says, ‘well, someone’s coming over, and I don’t whether he’s going to make your mood better or worse.’ I sigh, wanting to cry, and I can feel Seulgi holding back a laugh. ‘Shall I tell him to fuck off?’ Jennie asks, and I shake my head – I don’t have the energy to fight with him today.

‘y/n,’ I hear his stupid voice say, before he appears beside me. He’s dressed in all black, tight ripped jeans and a black button-up shirt, the top two buttons undone and revealing tanned and freckled skin, with a leather jacket over the top of it. He’s wearing silver jewellery again, rings, earrings, bracelets and a necklace, and he looks really fucking handsome, like always. He looks me up and down, his eyes nearly falling out of his head at my appearance as he sweeps his black hair back with one hand, before he looks at my face, the shock being replaced with concern. ‘You okay?’ he asks, and him caring about me makes me want to run a mile – he’s supposed to hate me, not worry when I’m upset and annoyed. ‘I… don’t know,’ I say tiredly, not quite sure what to say, and he looks even more concerned at that. ‘Shall we… give you guys a minute?’ Jennie says, and I look at her in surprise. She just looks back at me with a sad smile, and then I realise; she’s knows that there’s more to this, to me and… Jimin, than just two people who fucked even though they hate each other. And so do I, the thought terrifying me. His feelings are involved, and maybe mine are too, and I already know this is gonna get messy, messier than it should. But I don’t really have it in me to put a stop to it right now. I think I must have hurt him a lot when I left him last week (the thought of him waking up to an empty bed when he thought I would be there beside him makes me feel sick to my stomach) and I don’t ever want to hurt someone like that again. Even if it that someone is Jimin, the most annoying, stupid, selfish, egotistic, infuriating, big-headed person to ever walk the Earth.

I stay silent, and Jimin takes that as a sign to nod at the girls, all of them giving me little hugs before they head back up towards the house. The few people that are outside are watching interestedly and I want to just tell them to all fuck off. I used to think I’d love being the centre of attention all the time, but I’ve definitely changed my mind. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ he asks gently, and I sigh, not meeting his eyes as I think, not sure what to tell him. He stays quiet as he waits for me to speak, which leaves us in a heavy silence. ‘I… I’m just fed up. All anyone’s been speaking to me about is you and I don’t like it because there’s more to talk about to me than my sex life, and I hate that people are always staring at me now and probably thinking all these things about me when they barely know me and everyone’s making me regret sleeping with you but I don’t want to regret it because it was good and I enjoyed it and it was with you, but I don’t know why that’s making me not regret it but I kind of do know because I don’t think that I see you the same as I used to anymore, which is something else I hate because I’m supposed to hate you, and I do but I also don’t think I do, and I’m so confused, and I just want to go home,’ I say miserably all in one breath, and he looks a little taken aback, but nods when I’m finished speaking. ‘I… I’ve been thinking a lot of the same things the last week, and I’m confused too. So if it’s any consolation, I know how you feel,’ he says, and somehow… it is consolation. I already knew his feelings towards me had changed, but hearing that he feels all the other stuff too, it does make me feel better. But I’m a stubborn bitch.

‘No, actually, I’m not sure you do know how I feel. Because I didn’t make it harder for you. I didn’t show up somewhere solely to piss you off, and laugh with my friends to make you feel self-conscious, and be all smug and amused and rude to you, and pull your underwear out of my pocket in front of everyone to embarrass you. So no, Jimin, you don’t know how I feel,’ I reply angrily, unable to help myself, but it’s true – he made this all a hundred times worse at try-outs earlier, and I am angry at him for it. I wait for him to get angry in return, to point out that I probably didn’t make it any better for him by being a bitch, but I’m pleasantly surprised when he just nods, his head dropping sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to, I promise – I never intended to piss you off or to make you feel self-conscious or to embarrass you. I tend to… not think before I do things, and I guess my pride was hurt that you left so I wanted to just save face. And I shouldn’t have… left you earlier. I was just being petty and wanted to get back at you. I’m really sorry,’ he says earnestly, and I’m shocked into silence for a few moments, before I nod.

‘Okay. I accept your apology,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I’m glad. Now… shall I take you home?’ he asks, and I blink in surprise. ‘What?’ ‘You said you wanted to go home so do you want me to take you?’ he offers, and I hesitate for a moment. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because I’m supposed to hate you, and you’re supposed to hate me,’ I whisper, and he raises an eyebrow, taking a step closer to me. ‘Like I said earlier… would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he replies quietly, and I’m silent. ‘I don’t… I don’t know. It’s kinda… scary to think about. And it’s just easier to hate you. And…’ I trail off, and an amused smile appears on his stupid face. ‘You’re too stubborn to not hate me when you’ve hated me for so long, right?’ he says, seeing right through me, and I nod sheepishly. ‘We really need to work on your stubbornness, because I can see a future for us, y/n. If you could just give in to your feelings for me, we could pursue something together,’ he grins, but there’s no humour, no amusement in his voice at all, his honesty nearly winding me. He throws an arm around my shoulders and slowly walks us back up to the house. ‘A future? For you and me?’ I echo, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Yeah! We’ll get married as soon as we finish Uni, have a load of kids, and they can become footballers and cheerleaders to follow in our footsteps,’ he says, and I choke, making him let out a loud laugh. ‘Okay, maybe not as soon as we finish Uni. I’ll make that sacrifice.’ ‘Thanks.’ ‘Of course, angel. Anything for you.’

The second we step into the house, all eyes in the kitchen look up at us. ‘Can we help you?’ Jimin asks evenly, daring them to say something, and they’re all silent. ‘Thought so,’ he mutters, leading us over to where the drinks are as conversation resumes around us, albeit much quieter now. Jimin eyes the dozens of bottles covering the countertop before his eyes flit to the cup in my hand. ‘What you drinking, babe?’ he asks quietly, and I hold my drink up for him to try. ‘You trying to roofie me?’ he grins, and I let out a little laugh. ‘It’s Fireball whisky and cream soda. Jeongyeon’s concoction,’ I say, and he grimaces before trying some, his face instantly changing. ‘Oh, wow, that’s good,’ he says, reaching for the whisky bottle to pour himself some. ‘Did you just arrive?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I literally got here, walked into the kitchen, saw you weren’t in here, asked Mark where you were, and he said you were outside. I was coming to apologise,’ he says, and my heart warms. ‘To be honest… I should apologise too,’ I say, and his mouth drops open. ‘I can’t believe my ears. Is stubborn y/n finally discarding her pride?’ ‘Shut up, stupid,’ I laugh, shoving him gently, and he grins. ‘You don’t have to apologise, angel. You were scared that we didn’t hate each other, so you left, and then you were a bitch to me so that I’d hate you. That’s it. Don’t worry about it,’ he says, and I nod, grateful that I don’t have to apologise.

‘Okay,’ he says once he’s poured his drink, ‘shall we get away from all the staring?’ I raise an eyebrow, and he laughs. ‘I didn’t mean that, but if you’re down. I still owe you from earlier,’ he says lowly with a smirk, and my breath catches in my throat. ‘Um… maybe later. Let’s… see what’s going on in the rest of the house,’ I say, and he nods, grinning at my flustered state. And then he takes my hand into his, our fingers laced together, and a little shock runs up my arm at the contact. I nearly slap myself – he was rearranging my guts earlier, but I’m getting butterflies at him holding my hand? Really?

He leads me into the living room, several pairs of eyes turning to us, but he completely ignores them, so I do too. ‘You wanna stay in here?’ he asks over the loud music, and I shake my head. He nods, continuing to lead us through the room into the front hallway. The layout is the same as the ASP house, so Jimin knows his way around, leading me through the hallway and pushing open the door to the other living room, where it’s considerably more chill. The haze of weed lays heavy on the air, music gently pulsing through the room, and there are a lot less people in here, majority the boys on the football team with their girlfriends. ‘Oh, y/n, Chan spoke to me, I…’ Felix calls to me before his eyes land on Jimin behind me, his words trailing off when he spots our intertwined hands. ‘Yeah, it’s… yeah,’ I say, a little embarrassed, and Felix just nods, holding back a laugh when Jimin looks between us. ‘What did Chan speak to you about, Lix?’ Jimin asks, and I cringe. ‘They’re the ones that walked into the changing rooms earlier,’ I say under my breath, and he lets out a little noise of realisation with a nod, a smirk playing at his lips as he looks at Felix, the boy looking endlessly amused. ‘Oh, are you guys talking about how we walked in on you in the changing room?’ Jisung calls out tactlessly, and I close my eyes, gathering myself, as laughter ripples around the room. ‘You know what? Let’s just leave,’ I say tiredly, more laughter following my words, and Jimin nods, bidding goodbye to his friends with a smug grin as he leads me out of the room.

‘Shall we sit outside?’ he suggests, and I nod, letting him pull me through the front door. I shut the door behind us, and when I turn back, Jimin’s sat on the front step, looking out onto the front garden. It’s surprisingly empty, and it’s quiet out here, the only noise coming faintly from inside. I sit down beside him, pulling my dress down, and Jimin notices, a greasy smirk appearing on his face. ‘I swear to God, Park, I will not hesitate to throw this drink at you,’ I say, and he laughs, eyes disappearing behind their lids. ‘I was just gonna say that you look really nice. That dress really suits you,’ he grins, and I eye him suspiciously, holding back a laugh. He holds his hands up, feigning innocence, and I let out a gentle laugh, taking a sip of my drink. ‘Did you wear it for me?’ he asks, and I nod without looking at him. ‘Good choice. I like it,’ he replies, reaching for my hand, and I can’t help the small smile on my face as he laces his fingers with mine, our hands resting in my lap.

We both fall into a comfortable silence, and it’s really nice. It’s like all the other stuff falls away and doesn’t matter anymore, and we’re just a girl and a boy sat on the front steps of a frat house, taking a moment away from the party under the night sky, holding hands and drinking whisky and soda. We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I think that this is what true peace is like; when things are quiet and simple and easy, and nothing’s bothering me, nothing’s complicated or confusing, nothing matters. It’s almost too good to be true.

The door behind us opens after a few minutes, both of us turning to see Jeongin and Changbin, two more boys on the team, and Jimin grins widely when he sees them. I turn to face the front garden again, my back to the boys with my hand still in Jimin’s, both resting in my lap. ‘Boys! How are you? Ready for first practice next week?’ Jimin asks them, and I roll my eyes amusedly – football is their livelihood, and Jimin’s in his element talking about football, even more now that he’s been promoted to Captain. ‘Looking forward to it, Captain!’ Jeongin exclaims, hyping Jimin up even more. ‘Before we get distracted with football, we thought we’d let you know that, um, Rosie’s been looking for you. She asked us where you were and we said we didn’t know so we could buy you some time, but she’ll probably find you soon,’ Changbin says, and I freeze at the mention of his ex, Jimin wincing. ‘Um, okay, thanks, guys. I’ll, uh, speak to you later,’ he says, dismissing them, and they quickly disappear with a ‘bye’ thrown over their shoulders before the door shuts.

‘Why is Rosie looking for you?’ I ask amusedly, knowing exactly why she’s looking for him. She and Jimin have been in an on-again-off-again relationship for a long time, but he ended it for good at the end of last year, and stayed true to his word. According to the rumours, they don’t even talk anymore, just walk past each other without a word, and they haven’t slept with each other again. But she’s obviously got wind about me, and is jealous. ‘Um, yeah, about that. There’s probably something I should tell you,’ he says hesitantly, and I feel my body go a little cold as I turn my eyes to him – maybe there is a different reason she’s looking for him. ‘I… may have… slept with her… on Tuesday,’ he says, and the words don’t really register with me for a moment. ‘y/n?’ he says, eyes full of worry and I blink, realisation washing over me.

He slept with her. Four days ago.

I remove his hand from mine, and he flinches when I do so, retracting his hand slowly. ‘What… were you thinking?’ I ask, and he just blinks for a moment. ‘I was thinking that you hated me because you left and I was hurt so I found comfort in someone else,’ he says, tone neutral, but I can hear the defensiveness coming through. And, okay, maybe that is a good enough reason. But I’m still angry. Do I even have a right to be angry? ‘But your ex? Jimin, I-’ ‘Yes, y/n, my ex. I don’t really think you have a right to be angry. You left me. You knew my feelings for you were different to what you first thought, and you left anyway!’ he exclaims, voice rising, and I roll my eyes, letting out a humourless laugh. ‘I wasn’t obligated to stay just because you liked me!’ ‘But you liked me too!’ ‘I’m not sure I did, Jimin, and I’m still not sure about it! Besides, you literally said like fifteen minutes ago that you understood why I left and that I didn’t need to apologise for it!’ I point out, and he scoffs. ‘I do understand, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less, y/n. I was hurting and she was at the ASP house picking up her hair clip that she lost at the party and one thing led to ano-’ ‘So she just happened to be at the house, picking up a hair clip, three days after what happened between you and me? You don’t think she planned that?’ I say incredulously, unable to believe how dense he is. ‘So what if she did? To me, it was meaningless sex, to get my mind off you. I don’t think you have a right to be angry.’ ‘I don’t think I do either, but I still am!’ I exclaim, and he rolls his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. ‘You’re not angry, you’re jealous.’ ‘I’m not jealous, Jimin, don’t be ridiculous,’ I scoff, even more pissed off now. ‘You are.’ ‘If I said, ‘let’s go upstairs and fuck’ right now, you would be down, so what have I got to be jealous about?’ I ask lowly, and his eyes darken. ‘Fine. You’re not jealous. You’re angry I slept with someone else because you like me. Don’t even bother saying you’re still not sure because that’s the only reason for you to be angry. And in that case, I understand. And I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,’ he says calmly, and I don’t say anything, looking away from him.

After a few moments, he reaches for my hand tentatively, gauging my reaction before lacing our fingers together again. ‘You don’t have to apologise. I’m just being silly,’ I say, and he chuckles, moving closer to me. ‘I’ll apologise as many times as you need me to. I really do like you, y/n, and I kinda have for a while. I don’t want to fuck up whatever this is happening between us. And I know you’re still reluctant and you still want to hate me or whatever, but I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready. I’m happy to take time to win you over,’ he says softly, and my heart warms a little. The contrast between this Jimin and the Jimin from last week really is insane. There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track. ‘Sorry,’ I say, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘You don’t have to apologise for getting angry that I slept with my ex, even if we didn’t make any commitments to each other. I understand,’ he says simply, and I can’t help the smile on my face as I shuffle even closer to him, our sides pressed together and my head resting on his shoulder.

And again, it’s nice. But it really is too good to be true. The door behind us is wrenched open before we hear, ‘Jimin?’ I sigh, Jimin turning to look at Rosie. ‘Rosie,’ he replies, voice neutral, and I turn around, our eyes meeting. ‘Hi, Rosie,’ I smile at the girl. I’ve never actually had a problem with Rosie – we run in the same social circles, she’s a Cheerleader, and we’ve never been close but from what I know of her, she’s okay. ‘Hi, y/n. Do you mind if I speak to Jimin for a moment?’ she says sweetly. ‘Of course,’ I reply with a smile, not moving a muscle, and Jimin sighs. ‘y/n, please,’ he says, and I turn to him, annoyance unfurling in my chest. ‘Okay,’ I say coldly, dropping his hand from mine and rising up, brushing past Rosie into the house.

What is wrong with him? Has he got no common sense? The logical thing to have done is obviously to not speak to her – what could she possibly have to say? All she’s going to do is try to get him back. And he’s really stupid enough to ask me to leave? Am I a dickhead? I let out an angry sigh, deciding that I’ve had enough. He’s been spouting all this shit about how he doesn’t want to fuck this up, and then literally like two fucking minutes later, he’s having a private conversation with his ex. This is like ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ but in real life. He’s Peter, Rosie’s Gen and I’m Lara Jean. Somehow though, I feel like I won’t have the same happy ending.

‘y/n!’ I hear Jennie call from the other living room, where she’s sat with Jihyo and Irene, and I sigh, heading in. ‘What’s happened?’ she asks, and I roll my eyes, the attention of everyone in the room on me. ‘He apologised and we made up but then he asked me to leave so he could have a private conversation with his ex,’ I say, and they all gasp, confirming that I’m not a crazy bitch and that he shouldn’t be having private conversations with his ex. ‘Oh, girl, you better not forgive his stupid ass,’ Jihyo says, the other girls in the room nodding and giving various agreements, and the boys are all quiet – they obviously feel a sense of loyalty to Jimin and don’t want to talk bad about him. ‘I feel so pissed, but I also feel like I don’t have a right to be pissed,’ I say, and the girls all frown, disagreeing instantly. ‘You do have a right to be pissed. You should go throw your drink over his stupid head,’ Jennie says angrily, and I hold back a laugh.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ I sigh helplessly, perching on the arm of Seungmin’s armchair. ‘It’s a red flag, y/n. End things here – don’t let it go too far otherwise you’ll get too attached, your feelings will get deeper and stronger, and it’s just not worth it. Him and Rosie are always messing around and it’ll probably be like that for a long time – she’s a nice girl but she’s got Jimin wrapped around her finger and she knows it. If he tries to move on, she’ll stop it. It’s not worth you getting involved in that, because you shouldn’t have to compete with his ex,’ Irene says softly, everybody listening to her, and I know she’s exactly right; I might… maybe… kinda… sorta… like(?) Jimin now, but he’s not worth competing with another girl for. If there’s even a choice for him, I should walk away. I deserve someone who wants me and only me. ‘God, you’re right,’ I wail, throwing myself back against the armchair and lifting my hand to my face despairingly, a little laugh running around the room at my dramatics as Seungmin pats my arm comfortingly. ‘I know he’s our friend, y/n, but he’s also kinda a dick when it comes to girls, and we all know it. I mean, he was literally bragging to us yesterday about what happened between you guys,’ Minho says, and I feel my focus shifting entirely to his words when he says that, my entire body tensing. ‘What did he say?’ I ask calmly, though I can feel my anger slowly rising, along with the tension in the room. ‘Well… um,’ Minho begins hesitantly, before sighing, ‘we all went to ASP last night for KPN and ASP Pizza Friday, and we were speaking about going to watch you guys at the try-outs. JB mentioned that, as the new captain, you might get pissed if we showed up, and then the conversation turned to you and Jimin last week.’

I’m in total shock; he blatantly lied to me earlier, by telling me that he’d only told his closest friends. The thought that all those boys were sat together last night, talking about me, makes my stomach turn. ‘What did he tell you guys?’ I ask shakily, despite not actually wanting to know. ‘Um… everything,’ Minho says, and my heart drops. ‘Everything?’ ‘Yeah. Everything,’ Chan confirms, voice gentle, and I can feel tears pricking my eyes. ‘Wow. Okay. So not only is he a dick, he blatantly lied,’ I say flatly, the room completely silent other than the low RnB beat pulsing from the speaker. ‘I’m gonna go. Sorry for, uh, killing the vibe,’ I say quietly, pushing myself up from the arm of Seungmin’s armchair and heading towards the door, multiple people in the room calling after me.

I quickly dart up the stairs, dodging past the couple making out on the landing and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Part of me is numb, in complete shock, and doesn’t know how to react. Another part of me is unbelievably hurt that he completely lied to my face, and that he asked me to leave so he could talk to his ex. Privately. Another part of me is totally humiliated that he told the boys everything, my pride completely ruined now. And the other part of me is annoyed at myself for being so hurt about a boy who, this time last week, I hated and would’ve rather fought than fucked.

‘y/n, it’s me,’ I hear Jennie’s voice from the other side of the door, and I unlock it to let her in. She pulls me into a hug, and I have to scrunch my eyes shut to stop myself from crying, pushing my head into her neck as she rubs my back comfortingly. ‘He’s so trash, babe. So trash. You deserve so much better,’ she says soothingly, and I try my best to fully believe her words, but it’s hard when I’m also trying to hold back my tears.

Before I can even speak to her, Jiwon’s head appears around the door, her eyes widening when she sees how upset I am. ‘y/n! Sorry for just walking in but are you okay?’ she asks, eyes big with concern, and my heart warms. ‘Ugh, yeah,’ I say, Jennie and I moving apart, and I tilt my head back, blinking furiously to get rid of my tears. ‘It’s just Jimin. He’s such a dick. I’m done with him,’ I say, the words coming out of my mouth before I even think of them, and I realise that, yes, I am done with him. I’m not wasting my time on him anymore.

‘Good. You deserve better. I mean, I knew he was a dick when he literally grabbed me on the way up to his room last week and dragged me along behind him. He made me think he was attracted to me, but he obviously just wanted to make you jealous,’ Jiwon says, and it makes me hate him even more. I didn’t even think about how hurt she must have been when she realised he was just using her. ‘God, he really is a dick,’ I spit, face twisted up in disgust, and Jiwon lets out a gentle laugh. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t see that sooner.’ ‘I knew all along. There was a reason I hated him so much – he’s always been a self-absorbed, egotistic, arrogant douche, but now… he’s even worse in my eyes.’

‘Shall we head back downstairs, get you a drink, dance? Or… shall we head home? We could have a little girls’ night – we’ve got a couple bottles of Echo Falls in the fridge, Clueless and Mean Girls on Netflix, and I have a few face masks. We could invite some of the other girls, too. And you could join us, Jiwon. We could get drunk, order pizza and talk about how much of a bastard Jimin is,’ Jennie says, the three of us laughing. She’s really sold the idea – it sounds like a lot of fun – but it’s late already. It’s better if I just head home and go to sleep. I actually feel exhausted after the events of today; it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, and I’m literally craving my bed right now. ‘That sounds fun, Jen, but maybe we could do that another night. I could do with just sleeping tonight,’ I say, and she nods, smiling gently.

‘Shall I order an Uber?’ ‘You stay,’ I say, and she frowns. ‘Why would I stay? You’re upset – I’ll come back with you.’ ‘No, honestly, I’ll be fine. You stay, enjoy the party. You haven’t even spent any time with Namjoon,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. ‘I don’t care about spending time with Namjoon right now. You’re my priority. I’m coming home with you,’ she says firmly, pulling her phone out of her pocket, and I exchange an exasperated glance with Jiwon, the other girl incredibly amused.

As soon as Jennie’s ordered the Uber, we head downstairs to bid everyone goodbye. The second I step into the kitchen, Jin and Jungkook appear in front of me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. ‘Don’t say a word, because I swear to God, I won’t hesitate to kick you both in the balls,’ I threaten angrily, and their grins soon disappear. ‘Have you been crying, y/n? What’s the ma-?’ ‘Don’t say a word!’ I exclaim, pushing past them to say goodbye to Wendy, Lisa, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, the three of them giving me tight and comforting hugs – it seems that word’s already gotten around to the girls about Jimin and I. Then, in the living room, Nayeon, Seulgi, Mina, Jeongyeon, Jisoo, Momo, Joy and Sana all stop dancing the second I walk in, smothering me in hugs, and I know for sure that word has gotten around. And then, in the other living room, Jihyo, Irene, Yeri and Dahyun all give me big hugs too, and it really does make me feel better. Girls say it a lot, but it’s true – as long as you have your girls around you, you really don’t need a man. Any KNP or ASP boys that I walk past get the cold shoulder – they were all present when Jimin told them the dirty details and, despite some of them being my friends, close friends, not one of them thought to tell me. The only person that gets a goodbye from me is Minho; the rest of them can fuck themselves.

When I reach the front door, my hand shakes for a moment and I hesitate, Jennie putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I take a deep breath, rolling back my shoulders and raising my chin a little, injecting as much confidence into my body language as possible before I aggressively turn the handle, pulling the door towards me forcefully. They’re still sat on the front doorstep, Rosie where I was sat just half an hour ago, and they both jump when they hear the door open. And even though they react instantly, I still spot Jimin’s hand retracting from Rosie’s, leaving hers empty.

My eyes flit back up, in front of me, and I carefully walk through the gap between them, ignoring them both completely. ‘y/n? Are you leaving?’ I hear Jimin ask, but Jennie puts a hand on my back, the both of us continuing to walk up towards the road and away from him. ‘y/n! Wait!’ he calls after me, and then I hear his footsteps behind us, making my blood boil – can he not take the hint? ‘What, Jimin?’ I demand, whirling around to face him, and he hesitates in his steps. ‘y/n-’ ‘No, Jimin, don’t ‘y/n’ me. What the fuck do you want?’ ‘I… you’re angry at me,’ he says quietly, and I let out a harsh laugh. ‘Great observation, Jimin! What else will you come out with? The grass is green? Or the sky is blue, perhaps?’ ‘Okay, you don’t need to be so bitchy to m-’ ‘Bitchy?’ I practically scream, marching towards him, and he recoils away from me. Good. I’m glad he’s scared.

‘I think I’m well within my rights to be bitchy to you, you fucking bastard!’ I shriek, and he flinches, confusion all over his face. ‘What did I do, y/n? I… let me fix it,’ he says, and I let out another humourless laugh. ‘Fix it? You want to fix it?’ I ask hysterically, voice shaking, ‘You might’ve been able to fix the fact that you asked me to leave so you could have a private conversation with your ex, but that’s a very strong ‘might’, because I am not a choice, Jimin! You don’t get to mess me around! I’m number one, or I’m nothing to you at all!’ ‘Okay. Okay, I understand, and I’m sorry. I won’t do something like that again,’ he says earnestly, desperation in his eyes, but I can’t muster up any sympathy at all. Maybe I am a bitch, like he told me so many times last week.

‘No, you’re not going to do something like that again. Because you’re not going to have the chance, Jimin. We are done. That’s it,’ I say, and any hope that was in his eyes completely disappears, the light draining away. ‘What? Why? I thought you wanted… to give us a go,’ he says quietly, sounding… lost, and confused. It only makes me angrier – he’s not gonna get away with playing innocent today. ‘I did. Before I found out that you went and blabbed every single detail of last week to every fucking frat boy in ASP and KPN last night! Did you somehow forget about that, or did you purposely leave out that detail when I asked you earlier?’ I scream, body shaking with fury, and the second he registers my words, the colour disappears from his face, and he looks like he might throw up. He doesn’t say anything, and I give him the chance, but he doesn’t even bother to deny it, just stares at me in shock and the last shred of my hope that maybe Minho lied, that he exaggerated, or that maybe Jimin only told a couple of the guys disappears. ‘Yeah. That’s what I thought too. So forgive me for being such a bitch,’ I spit at him, and he opens his mouth to speak, no words coming out.

‘Go on. Say something. You’ve had plenty to say all night. So let’s hear it,’ I prompt sarcastically, and he just blinks before he whispers miserably; ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘Sorry? You’re sorry? Oh, well, that’s okay! Everything’s solved now, huh? That just makes everything fine!’ I shout, and his head drops, eyes on the ground. ‘Not only did you tell everyone, you lied about it! So how can I pursue something with you when you’re already lying to me? I can’t trust a word you say!’ ‘I… I’m not defending myself… but you lied to me too, y/n. You told me that you told Jennie, and ‘a couple of the other girls’. But we both know that was a lie,’ he says slowly, stuttering as he speaks, and I’m dumbfounded, in complete and utter shock.

‘You… you don’t understand. I told the girls, my closest friends. We tell each other everything. I’ve been there for them through everything, and they’ve been there for me through everything. You told two entire fraternities of immature and idiotic man children! You don’t think there’s a difference between the two? I bet they congratulated you, right? On getting the girl that hates you into bed? Asked what I was like? What my body looks like? Whether I had good head game, or good pussy? Saw me as just a slut, another conquest, another notch in your belt? Two entire fraternities objectified me last night, and you can’t even try to tell me otherwise, because I can guarantee that every girl in this damn university has had an experience to prove that you frat boys are disgusting. So you can fuck yourself, Jimin, and don’t ever compare me telling the girls to you telling those idiots again,’ I spit out angrily, and he’s completely silent, confirming everything I’ve just said. ‘I’m done with you. Don’t ever speak to me again,’ I hiss before turning on my heel and marching to where Jen stands outside the Uber, smiling at me softly.

‘That was amazing. I’m so proud of you,’ she says when I reach her, and I smile back as she opens the car door, letting me climb in first. I slide across the seat, Jennie following me in, and when she shuts the door behind her, I feel my heart pulse with hurt, eyes filling with tears. And as the driver pulls away from the house and I turn to look out of the rear window, being met with the sight of Jimin stood there, watching the car drive away, his eyes shining with tears, I can’t hold back my own, sobbing as if my heart would break.

[yamagucji]

a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁🤲 yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

[eremiie]

okay and for the matchup!!! im gonna try and make this as descriptive as possible but if u want more info pls lmk :)) also it would be cool if it was a guy and it would be REALLY cool if it wasn’t zeke (him and i just don’t click idk i hope that doesn’t mess u up:()

for physical i use she/her pronouns, i’m a about 5’6 and a little on the thicker/curvier side! idk if this is tmi or not but i’m pretty hefty in terms of 🍒 but i got NOTHING for 🍑 :(( breaks my heart aNYWAY i have long light brown hair and my two front pieces are dyed blonde/silver ish, i have blue eyes and wear glasses!! in terms of makeup i tend to do more natural stuff like basic foundation and mascara and that stuff but that’s mostly bc i suck at everything else 😭

my zodiac sign is sagittarius (november sag if that helps) and i’m an enfp!! i tend to be a little shy when i first meet people but once i warm up it’s hard to make me shut up lmao i loooooooove meeting new people and getting to know them and ngl i do tend to over share a little bit so that can be a little overwhelming but i’m pretty good at reading ppl so i know when it’s too much you know ?? i also think i’m one of the funniest ppl i know LMAO i’m always laughing at my own jokes and i love to make other ppl laugh it makes me so happy!! in terms of my type of humor it’s pretty sarcastic but i will literally laugh at anything (except things that are messed up i’m not down for DARK humor). also i’m like hella nice tbh i’m probably overly nice to a lot of ppl BUT i also stand up for myself when need be and i’m not afraid to be honest and blunt!

as for bad personality traits i can definitely be a little jealous and i tend to overthink things a lot. i am NOT a morning person if i wake up any earlier before like 10am i’m usually pretty cranky for the rest of the day which is pretty annoying lmao. i’m pretty forgetful so if someone tells me to do something they usually have to do it a few more times before it hits me. also i’m the absolute worst at math and i was pretty careless in school :/ i didn’t like get into trouble or anything but i definitely slacked off in terms of grades and caring about things like that.

i’m p sure my love languages are quality time and physical touch bc i’m a HUUUUGE sucker for hugs and hand holding and stuff like that 🥺 i also really think 1 on 1 time with a s/o is important but i for sure think it’s good to have time apart or time with like a group of friends too!!

for hobbies i love to play video games, hang out with friends, listen to music, watch movies and tv and write!! i spend way too much time playing games like minecraft and legend of zelda and i can pretty much listen to anything except for country lol i love comedy and horror movies and tbh i’m kinda a sucker for romance movies 😳 i go to target like every day and just kinda walk around and before covid i loved going out to eat with friends and going to the arcade!!! i’m for sure more of a city person than a country girl and i love spending time downtown just walking around or going to baseball games or whatever!!

for future goals tbh i’m not really sure yet ?? i’m interested in maybe being a therapist or a teacher when i’m older but like i said i don’t have any like set goals career wise. i do want to get married but i don’t really want kids unless i maybe adopt ?? (fun fact i’m TERRIFIED of pregnancy for some reason lmao is that weird). i would L O V E to travel the world someday and see all of the different cultures and places i think that would be so unbelievably fun :))

turn ons include bondage, degradation, wax, dirty talk, and idk if this has a name but having to be quiet 😳😳😳 tbh pretty much everything except for feet, blood, p!ss, and pet (those are the turn offs) but idk besides those id probably be willing to try anything at least once

i hope this wasn’t too long or not descriptive enough!!! again if u need more info pls don’t hesitate to message me and ask i’m an open book :))) thank u sm for doing this muah ur an angel <33333

i match you up with...

connie springer.

i match you up because...

connie could care less how shy you were at first because he definitely opened you up, but not by his own will, you just felt so comfortable around him to open up in the first place. he just listens to what you have to say, it might seem like he doesn’t care but he’s really listening. you think you’re real funny? when you’re with connie you guys are both hilarious together and crack up at the stupidest stuff but it’s literally so funny because it’s with him. he appreciates that you can stand up for yourself and you’re straight forward so he doesn’t really have to jump in when you’re getting in it with other people— not that he won’t if you ask, he just isn’t a fan of drama if he isn’t watching it. connie isn’t great at reassuring you when you get jealous and start overthinking but i think there aren’t many moments when you do with him because you guys are always spending immense quality time together that is such a vibe it leaves no room for any thinking. connie doesn’t wake up early and neither do you so you don’t have to worry about waking up early when you live with him. you and connie are forgetful but you’re forgetful together— that’s not really a positive but it’s funny. you guys also both slack off in school work, which you probably both tried to fix but it didn’t work out. he enjoys that your love language is quality time becayse like i said, y’all spend a lot of it together. he doesn’t mind your affectionate but don’t expect much back in return. 

you guys play video games together all the time, in the same house but different rooms, or sitting on the floor in front of the couch together

both of you once slept in together until 3pm and decided it was too late to even start your day, so got up and then went back to bed together

you and connie constantly go places together, and always try to go new places at that as well

you guys go out to eat at fast food chains really late at night 

both of you tried to study together but y’all literally laughed like the whole entire time and got no progress done

you like watching movies with him but he always falls asleep like 15 minutes in so you take pictures of him sleeping

you guys go to walmart & target all the time to literally just look around

your runner up was eren, hope you enjoyed your matchup!

[zmediaoutlet]

Hey I'm super intrigued by your halmanverse stuff (just finished reading your most recent mpreg fic and also timelapse and also the omegaverse explanation post) but I'm still kinda confused, maybe because I'm in general already overthinking gender like 95% of the time. I have a lot of questions but mainly I was wondering what specific differences you imagine between halman Dean and male Dean? Mostly physical/presentation-wise, but also in terms of personality/emotion/emotional expression/etc?

oh wow, I’m glad you’re interested! (and even went back to that ancient post! bro!) I related to the overthinking part--I’m not that interested in gender qua gender but I am super interested in trying to figure out how a three-sexed civilization might actually work, and what gender expression results from there, etc etc. It’s a conundrum! My friend can attest to the hours I’ve spent moaning and flailing over how tf fashion would even work, much less everything else. But--it’s easier to think about if we start from a few basic premises:

1. I don’t want to write it as a dystopia; 2. I want it to feel semi-familiar as a setting; 3. I want Dean still to feel as much like himself as possible; 4. I want things to feel as naturalistic and realistic as possible.

All of which are kind of connected. I didn’t want to write it as a sex-crazed ultramating fuck-ciety, so heats get calmed down and ‘omegas’ (halmen) aren’t wee sex dolls who pump out seventy puppies per litter. (What do they even do with all those babies in omegaverse fics? Eat them??) The fact that I’m still using “he” pronouns means that halmen are still mostly masculine-presenting, but there are tells that mean that everyone can recognize a halman vs a man vs a woman (unless, of course, there’s some passing activity going on--much like in our own culture, where you can pretty much get a sense at a glance how someone is operating, and it’s exceptional if someone says, ‘actually, my gender identity is [x].’)

Still, halmen are, for lack of a better word, baby carriers. So, while they’re stronger/bigger/taller than women for the most part, they’re also given a slightly feminized role just by virtue of how this culture treats baby carriers. That translates into job choice, fashion, expected behavior. To delineate, halman!Dean:

Basic physical stuff: - he’s about 5′10, which is a little taller than average for a halman (much as real!Dean is a little taller than average for a man) - slightly rounder features, to go along with enticing mates to treat you well -- still very recognizable as Dean (esp with his lips and eyes already being Like That), but a very slightly softer jaw, probably. - high testosterone gives him good muscle structure and broad shoulders; high estrogen gives a soft subcutaneous layer of fat (which, ahem, Jensen already has) and less body hair; wider more feminine hips; flat chest (until pregnancy). So, the silhouette is a little different--sort of an hourglass, sort of an upside down triangle. - downstairs, you’re getting a very large clitoris (small penis-sized -- think of hyenas), which is also where the ureter is; no testicles, obviously; anus/birth canal hybrid, because that’s just fun tbh -- probably translates into that area being cleaner than usual, but let’s be honest, babies get poop on them half the time anyway, so. - heats are twice-yearly, ish (I think I said 25 weeks in one fic?) -- no crazy compulsion, no one’s gonna die if they don’t get fucked, but an actual body temp increase and definite horniness, and this is pretty much the only time all year that halmen can get pregnant. The hormones they’re putting out are also what triggers men to knot, so. It’s a special time. :)

Fashion: - Hair could be really anything (much like women can get away with most anything), but a pretty classic hairstyle would be something akin to Sam’s prettier bob haircuts. Dean keeps it above his shoulders, but not long enough that it could have a ponytail, probably. Side part, tuck behind the ears, done. - Makeup is minimal--halmen wear just as much as women if they feel like it, and in professional settings some effort is expected. Dean tends to stick to just eyeliner, but playing FBI might include a small amount of lip color. - Clothes -- THIS KILLED ME, but I came up with some options. Again, like 21st century women, they can kinda get away with anything, but they don’t mess with cleavage-baring (since they don’t have any, until they have a kid) and instead go with bare backs and shoulders to be sexy. (Why? Nice muscley backs, that’s why.) A very traditional outfit would be a tunic-length top (to cover the minimal bump from the big clit) paired with slim pants or tights. Short skirts over tights is also a really common look. Half the time, Dean’s going to be wearing a loose plaid shirt, a tank that dips just low enough to look halman-y, tight ass-hugging jeans, and boots.

Cultural stuff: - Sexuality: Dean vastly prefers men, because he’s pretty conformist when it comes right down to it. He probably experimented with a halman or a woman in his early twenties, but let’s face it, he likes dick. - Halmen could always get physical “men’s jobs” -- farming, factory work, mechanic, etc -- but the intellectual “men’s jobs” -- doctor, lawyer, head chef -- weren’t as common. They would’ve had a similarly hard time to women, breaking into those categories. So, while Dean can fake being an FBI agent just fine, sexist people will probably defer to Sam as the ‘senior’ agent. - Hustling pool: still likely, but Dean’s going to change up his style a little. He can probably take any of these trucker men in a fight, but it’s easier to flirt his way through it, and with that ass--yeah, he can get away with it. - Hooking: definitely possible too, but his client base wouldn’t be weird closeted dudes like real!Dean, it’d be people who’d expect to treat him more like a female sex worker might be treated. More dangerous, in its way, but at least he almost certainly wouldn’t get knocked up.

Personality/emotional expression: So, this is the big one. A large part of it is that, as a more female-typed caregiver, John’s expectations for how his Dean should act aren’t as subversive as in canon. Halman!Dean cooking/cleaning/taking care of his little brother--that’s what daughters are expected to do, after all, and Dean isn’t that far off from a daughter in this treatment. But that also means that the weird ways that, in canon, Dean is a little... overly macho, how he acts too butch, etc, those don’t really come into it. As a halman, he’s completely fitting into the role society/culture expect of him, and he doesn’t need to pretend otherwise. His issues, then, would be less of canon!Dean’s insistence on being a Cool Steve McQueen Dude, and more in the ‘there are certain cultural markers I’m missing by being a transient hunter, and I regret them.’ This gets touched on in ‘timelapse’ when he reflects about how he’s never been on a date with a nice boy before Mark-from-Blockbuster -- and I think we get a sense of wistfulness, wishing that maybe nice boys would ask him out more than the other guys like to finger him under the bleachers -- and again in the recent fffr fill, where of course he wanted to have kids, but knew that was never an option. He wants to hold babies, man. He just wants to really, really badly.

Related to that--in just his day-to-day, especially with Sam, he can afford to be... a little softer. Obviously he still gives his little brother a hard time, because that’s his job, but he also probably kept giving Sam good-night kisses until he was like 8--they probably argued a little less, because Dean didn’t feel the need to be a hardass just to emulate their dad--John was probably a little more soft with him, but Dean’s obedience would also be completely expected. I bet that there wasn’t ever one of those moments per canon where John would “send Dean away” for arguing too much, because I bet Dean didn’t argue that much.

The nurture of it all is so much of what shapes Dean--and he’s still loyal to a fault, of course, and still cracks jokes, and still loves his brother more than anything. But it’s the little softened edges that interest me--the places that canon!Dean fights against, that halman!Dean can just accept and be. Distinct from a Deanna, though, even if the changes are incremental. It’s just these little tweaks.

That... got really long, haha. Still, I hope it was helpful. Also, as a bonus:

I mean, the hair’s too long, but honestly, it... doesn’t take much imagination, haha.

[rayegunn]

Music for 2020

Been a while since i posted about music here, but was having a look at my last.fm (I mean, i know it’s kinda dead, but the plugins are still going, collecting what I’m listening to, so i check it now and then) and though there are fewer listens overall probably because i no longer scrobble from some sources like my phone/tablet, some new favorites have definitely emerged. So here’s what I was listening to the most  in 2020, a couple surprised me because it didn’t really feel like i had listened to them a lot, but... i guess  they came up on shuffle a lot, go figure. I know it’s not technically the end of the year yet, but this is unlikely to change a lot in the next few weeks.

1: top one for the year is a newish one for me, Lord of the Lost. They are a German band that have been around for a while, but I found them when they released their album Thornstar, I remember because I saw the video for the song Loreley when it was released because the costumes/makeup in the thumbnail looked wild. That came out in 2018, so a couple years now. Anyway, I love them. They’re usually classified as Gothic Metal but really it’s like.... ALL THE GENRES. They have influences from Metal, New Wave, Industrial, EDM, Classical, and more, and somehow make it all work. and Chris Harms has a great voice, I love how theatrical they are with the makeup and stuff, and they just seem like really nice guys from what I have seen of their social media. Here’s Loreley, the song that got me hooked on them:

2: Is Swedish metal band Avatar. Love these guys. Been listening to them for a while now and they are definitely up there as one of my favorites. They are also a highly theatrical metal band, I seem to like those, but they stick to their theme a lot more closely than Lord of the Lost. They have a gimmick and stick with it, though they do update the costumes in order to fit the theme of  each album, which are often concept albums, or at the very least they speak to a theme. It’s hard to pick a favorite, but I really like Bloody Angel.

3: is Danish black metal act Myrkur. A somewhat recent find for me, and one that is a bit divisive because the black metal people don’t think she’s trve kult enough, or whatever, because she has a pop background, and the sound is more polished, but I love her. Good music is good music, I don’t care how closely it fits a genre or whatever. Love the ambience and just overall sound, both spooky and harsh and beautiful at the same time.

4: is Swedish band Ghost. Yeah, these guys blew up recently huh? They’re cool tho, despite the band drama that spoiled the mystery of the identity of Papa. Well, sort of band. Technically it’s just Tobias Forge and a couple other guys, but they hire musicians to play on stage, made easy by the fact that they all wear masks, so they can swap em out at will, but some of them decided they wanted more money/credit and they sued Tobias and his identity was revealed, it was a mess... anyway, they’re cool. I chose Rats for the song, because it is probably a bit more reflective of 2020 than they anticipated.

5: was a bit of a surprise to me because i didn’t feel like i had listened to them a lot this past year, but it’s one I have been listening to for oh, decades at this point, Finnish cellists Apocalyptica. Their  shtick is simple, they play metal/rock... but on cellos. They started out playing Metallica covers, but soon started writing their own music. On their more recent albums they have tended to have guest vocalists perform over their compositions. But personally, I always liked the instrumental songs, so i was personally really happy to see their new album Cell-0 was 100% instrumental. I hope it did well for them, because I really liked it, so I am including something from it.

6: The newest find on the list for me, I found him this year, Amigo the Devil (he’s American, since that seems to have become a thing in my list) This one is a lot more subtle and subdued than the rest, his genre is an obscure one called Murderfolk, basically he’s a blues/folk singer who sings a lot about rather dark subject matter. But sometimes hopeful, too, as with my pick Cocaine and Abel. Led me down a whole murderfolk rabbit hole, lot of cool stuff there, but he’s the only one who cracked the top 10. Can only add 5 videos, so linky: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzjtLm0G49E

7. Is an old fave, American metal gods Metallica. I mean what’s to say? it’s fuckin’ Metallica, man. Kind of a basic choice, but hey. Been listening to them since high school. Didn’t feel like i had listened to thema  lot recently but guessing S&M 2 bumped them up! But just gonna link to  one of my old faves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM8bTdBs-cw

8. Is another American band I’ve been listening to for a while, Mastodon. I think these guys have such a unique sound, with the 3 different styles of vocals over the sludgey instruments, and they have some really great lyrics going on as well.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6WGNd8QR-U

9. Is Ukrainian band Jinjer! somewhat recent find, been aware of them for a a couple years now, i guess. Great songwriting, cool djenty sound,  and oh man, does Tatiana have some pipes on her! You may have seen this video, Pisces, because video gets shown around a LOT on react videos, and kinda went viral, because it gets a big reaction if you are not prepared for it. If you haven’t seen it, brace yourself.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQNtGoM3FVU

10. I was a bit worried and a bit shocked that he almost missed the top 10 cus he is definitely one of my very favorites, i hugely respect him and think he’s a great talent... Canadian metal god Devin Townsend! I think part of the problem is that he recently went from The Devin Townsend Project to just Devin Townsend, and then you throw in side projects or even older projects like Casualties of Cool and Strapping Young Lad, so while i do listen to him a lot, it’s under different names, so he came up a bit low in the charts. But I love him, he’s on of my all time favorites, and sadly doesn’t get as much attention as he deserves. Massive talent, huge fun personality. He’s great. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n7uvokARQ4

[og-danny-dorito]

Don't Fear The Reaper : FRANK CASTLE X READER

{ A/N :

This was done as my take on the prompt provided by @sparkingstoryinspiration (https://sparkingstoryinspiration.tumblr.com/post/189917527227/write-a-story-including-a-set-of-three-things#_=_). This is sort of short considering I'm mainly just trying to test out my writing again, although I may do a part two if someone seems interested enough. I asked people to choose and they chose #1) an old classic, a headache, blushing cheeks. Basically I'm reusing my favorite scenario, “Buff Sad Bad Mercenary Man Gets Medical Care From Sweet Person Who Likes Them For Some Reason”. Anyway, please enjoy this little Frank Castle x Reader thing I put together that is in no way shape or form a piece of quality.

   - Danny ✌🏼👽 }

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  A pain throbs on the side of his head, sending shock waves down his neck at every slight bump in the music that the speaker produces. He can feel his spine relaxing into the padding of the couch, head falling back as he feels his muscles tense at the feeling of much warmer skin against his own.

   You've known each other since you were kids, and ever since you found out you lived fairly close by, you visited one another considerably more often than the years where he was in the military and you were off doing your own thing after he left. To find that his new occupation was a justice-handie-outie-guy (a name which he hated, but you could see the dumb grin when you said it to him in a mocking or joking way) was more than a surprise, and yet you hadn't expected much less after he told you how it came to be.

  You decided to act as a shoulder for him to lean on from that day forth, a crutch, if you will, for when he needed it. For old times’ sake partially, but for other reasons as well. Often times, he didn't take the crutch when he had to, which earned him very long lectures about how he should take care of himself because other people cared about him. Apparently your most recent lecture, which was two weeks ago, didn't get through his thick skull well enough.

  The stitches on his arm are more neatly done than when you had done them the first time, considering he only needs five and he seems to be much less nervous with you near an open wound. You'd give yourself the victory of having gotten them to be laid down neatly enough to seem almost like they were done by a real doctor. Well, you just hope they'll function like a doctors' stitches, anyway. You wouldn't want him bleeding all over the place like he had before; even though this old apartment was beyond saving, you at least wanted to keep it clean.

  "So let me get this straight-” Frank rolls his eyes, seeming to raise a brow at you. You're glancing up at him now, vaguely interested in what he has to say. “-you walked in without a plan, and walked out with 10 dead bodies to add to the count and more potential scars too?", you ask, almost disapprovingly. The beginning of 'Don't Fear The Reaper' by Blue Ouster Cult seemed to soon fade into the air, causing you to bop your head and mouth the lyrics as you reached for a patch to place on his arm. A bit ironic, but you don't have much to fear around Frank. Under all the muscle he's really thoughtful. At least thoughtful enough to take his shoes off at the door.

   While you appreciated the gesture, you sure it's excusable when he's bleeding out. 

   He grunts in response, his arm draped over his eyes as he extends his right arm to you and uses the left one to prop himself up on the couch as soon as you're done with the patch. Rolling your eyes at the stubborn grunt he gives, you place a few light fingers on the wound below his ribs, causing him to flinch a little. Your eye flickers up in a wave of concern, although he seems to avoid eye contact, embarrassed a bit.

  I mean, this isn't the first time he ended up on your couch in need of medical attention, nor is it the first time you had seen him half naked and/or basically fully naked. But you understand why he feels embarrassed when he flinches or seemes uncomfortable with something. "...I didn't have much time to make a plan."

  You raise your head at the statement, seeming to look at him with a small smile. He looks you in the eyes for a split second, both of his arms moving to rest on the seat of your couch to pull himself up a bit more. You have to admit that he's toned as fuck, and considering the happy trail that you notice he hadn't gotten rid of had grown a bit more made you feel a little like you shouldn't be watching so intently. Is that weird? I mean, if you see someone naked enough times you start to notice shit, and you can't help but feel grateful that his tshirt was technically ripped to bits by now from knife wounds. Not...that you wanted him to have knife wounds. What are you even thinking about?

  With a grin, you raise a brow and turn the music down a little. Your hands are sort of small compared to his chest, he notices, and your skin feels soft against his, although they may be scarred in some places. It's soothing- more soothing that patching himself up. But he wouldn't say that out loud. "They spotted you, or did they know you were coming?", you ask, placing a bandage on the laceration (you looked up what that meant the other day, and just thinking about the word made you feel pretty fucking smart). Frank sighs, his head rolling back. His neck extends to show where he hasn't shaved in a while. Something must be catching up to him lately, usually he'd at least groom himself.

  "I was sloppy and didn't cover my tracks." The response is half-sigh, and his voice rumbles in his throat. He feels the soreness building up from the intense conditions he had undergone earlier. Turns out it doesn't matter how fit you are; if you fight 10 guys on your own you still end up getting sore after it's over. Humans are designed pretty stupidly, at least that's what's he's thinking now. "How so? I'm assuming you mean you didn't get all dressed in spy gear or they saw you on their fancy cameras-" "You remember that one time when you got into the makeup drawer in my mom's bathroom and then forgot to sweep up the footprints in the powder all over the floor?" 

  You suddenly feel your face heat up, your eyes narrowing as you give a pointed glare at him. You can feel the embarrassment going through your body as you roll your eyes, glancing at him. He's grinning like a smug bastard, although that isn't far from what he is. "It's not like you to get all sentimental on me, big guy; you getting soft?" The weak rebuttal gains a snort from him, and in turn you laugh a little and shake your head.

  There are a few moments of silence that pass between you as he lay there, and for a good few moments you aren't sure whether he's asleep or not. But his occasional movement to check your progress leads you to believe that he’s only half asleep. Frank focuses on the touch of your skin against his. The gentleness of your hands is surprising regardless of your often harsh words. Your breathing stops when you were focused; something he noticed a while ago. That and you looked really cute when you were very focused on something. The music starts to have that's segment where it has the guitar solo, and you seem a little caught up in it before opening your mouth to speak.

  "Look, Frank...", you start, avoiding eye contact by focusing on his abdomen. He can feel himself sighing a little. "Another lecture, doc? I'll wait a good few days before I get myself into trouble again." Frank looks down to see you smile and snort a little. "Well that too, but I wanted to let you know...that you can come here for whatever." You sit up, looking him in the eyes. It seems to only just now restrict him that you are not in fact his hip size, and now that you're eye level he feels much more tense. But not enough to run. "It doesn't just need to be when you're hurt or like...- yeah. Anything you need I got it for you, man.", you say, placing a hand on his uninjured shoulder.

  The song had long since died out to another one that he isn't sure of, causing him to feel a slight unease in not being able to predict which beats and notes will come next. He'd never liked unpredictability, but he's almost certain that he can't avoid it. You soon look down from staring at his unchanging facial expression with a grin, but this one seems more...sad. If that's the word for it. More dismal. "Is it cool if I uh-"

  He clears his throat after the failed statement, causing you to raise your head with a slight look of surprise. "Is it cool if I spend the night? Might not wanna- yknow -walk with stitches in my leg..." The excuse seems to be satisfying enough to you, and you grin. Nodding, you slowly stand up. Aw shit- you're kinda cute when you smile- "Yessir it is, but be careful if you wanna take a shower because the cat likes to sit in there whenever someone's in the room.", you respond, running a hand over your head. You leave the room in pursuit of leftovers, causing him to feel a moment of clenching tightness in his chest.

Shit, he might be getting soft.

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