#.but dont get me wrong. i WILL be trying…….

[bigfemboyenergy]

maybe i didnt go through all the shit but like i am often called mature, was called a quiet kid, and am def lazy aka depressed now sometimes.

like i wasnt always quiet or always mature or always lazy, ofc. but when there are those times and places it really shows (i was quiet in the presence of family i wasnt and still am not comfortable with, im mature bc i felt i had to grow up quicker in some way so i could get what i wanted?/not feel as alienated i think, and im lazy now bc i lack motivation due to burnout type shit and my hyperfixations constantly fucking me over)

I don’t think this is true 100% of the time but it does seem like a good portion the time.

[fairyseungs]

like a siren - park sunghoon (TEASER.)

warnings: mdni, stalking, sunghoon is very toxic, gaslighting, p in v, unprotected sex, dry humping... adding more as i write... notes: soo i wrote this for mingi long ago but never finished it. this lowk seems perfect for sunghoon, i hope you guys will like it! i srsly dont know what to add in the warnings ;- ; i'll try to get it out by first week of jan. also "hold me tight" will be coming wayy later becuz i STRUGGLE with angst sm :/ divider credits to: @kodaswrld. est. word count: 6-7k+ (HOPEFULLY!!)

Sunghoon was everything you could have hoped for—sweet, charming, and attentive. He listened to your stories with genuine interest, and his eyes lit up when he talked about his passions. It didn’t take long for the two of you to start seeing each other regularly. The online dates turned into weekend brunches, long walks in the park, and movie nights that stretched into the early morning hours. He was your rock, your escape from the harsh reality of the world, a place where you felt truly safe.

A few months into your relationship, you start noticing unsettling events; Unexplained gifts appearing at her doorstep. Your social media accounts being strangely active when you aren’t not using them. A sense of being watched, a constant feeling of unease.

The incidents become more frequent and intrusive. Finding notes or small objects left in unexpected places. Discovering someone has been in your apartment while you were away. Receiving disturbing messages or phone calls, though the caller hangs up.

Amidst the fear and confusion, you find comfort in Sunghoon. He's the one person you feel you can trust, someone who seems genuinely concerned for your safety. Sunghoon offers to help you feel safe. He suggests you move in with him temporarily, emphasizing his ability to protect you. You, desperate for a sense of security and feeling increasingly isolated, accepts Sunghoon's offer. You believed you’d found refuge with the one person you thought you could trust.

Once you moved in with Sunghoon, you begin to realize something is deeply wrong, but by this point, you are trapped in a cycle of fear and dependence.

-----

(OPEN!) taglist:

[jjkbambi]

the morning after luigi mangione x reader (18+)

summary!!! part two of is it new years yet because you do not get back together just cuz he has good dick OMG 🖕🖕🖕🖕😒 he also has a great personality and loves eating pussy

warnings: smut, kinda angsty, he’s manipulative but honestly he’s such a nice guy, you should really give him a second chance

^ not edited let’s alll just practice gratitude 🙏

seven days, thirteen hours, and nine minutes and thirty six seconds.

that’s how long it had been since luigi had seen you. not that he’d been counting, he was truly trying to be normal about the distance this time around.

he replays the morning after on a loop, searching for the slightest hint he’d done something wrong to no avail. as a matter of fact, your quiet body was beside him until deep into the afternoon, nothing but soft snores exchanged between the two of you. he wakes before you, kissing your forehead before taking his leave. his frat brothers whistle at him as he enters the wretchedly messy house, throwing him a water.

“happy new year, big guy,” one of them, hasan, greets. “did’ya spend your night thinking about new goals or scoring the same one?”

luigi rolls his eyes. “fuck off.”

another brother chimes in, bright-eyed. “when are we meeting her?”

“in your dreams.”

he had no intention of sharing you in any way; the thought of anyone else even looking at you irritated him. but starting the new year off by your side was far too great a fate to be stoic about. he grabs a plate of what’s left of their shitty communal breakfast (jar salsa from the night before, scrambled eggs, and two pieces of mostly burnt toast) and brings it into your room.

“y/n,” he calls out while entering. the door to the bathroom is now closed, and he sees your shadow shuffling around the room.

hesitant, the door creaks open. youre back in your black minidress, holding onto your heels. “hey, pretty.”

“hi,” you say tightly, the mistakes and soreness from the night before lingering in your mind. you’ve just wiped away the tears still streaked on your face, yet your ex-boyfriend hardly looks hungover.

“dressed up just for me?” he jokes, kissing your cheek. he offers you the plate of food but you shake your head.

“lacy’s waiting for me. i’ve got to go.”

“stay,” he says, his voice honey-sweet, like the boyfriend you knew months ago. it makes you feel sick, the familiarity of it all suffocating you. the room feels too small.

you push away from him. “i have to go.”

“baby,” he drops everything he’s holding to grab you again. “what’s wrong? is everything alright?”

he always blows your mind with his audacity. “no, everything’s not alright, luigi,” you spit back. “we shouldn’t have—none of that should’ve happened.”

“what do you mean?”

“luigi,” you sigh. “we’re over, alright? it’s done.”

“y/n—”

“i mean it,” you raise your voice so slightly, but still it breaks. “you cheated on me, then pulled all this shit, i can’t do it anymore.”

“you can’t do it anymore? are you serious?”

“yes!”

“you ignored me for weeks then showed up at my fucking party, dressed like that,” his voice was low, but angry. brows furrowed, he doesn’t lose his grip on you. it scares you. “you can’t tell me you weren’t bartering for my attention.”

“i wasn’t.”

his jaw sets. “then who’s?”

“oh my god. nobody’s!”

“don’t fucking lie to me—”

“lu, stop, seriously.” your voice trembles this time, and you both notice it. he drops your hand.

“i didnt mean to hurt you,” he says, soft at your upset. “i swear—i dont remember cheating on you. i’m not gonna mess up like that again, i promise.”

he leans in to kiss you, to seal the pledge with his gentle touch, but you pull back. “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t mean to hurt me—you did. you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.“

his big brown eyes bear into yours and he swears, “i can make it up to you.”

“luigi,” you hadn’t even realized you’d been crying until he brings his hands up to wipe your tears away. “i just don’t think this is a good idea, i’m sorry.”

“come on,” he says, frowning. “i love you. only you.” his lean-in to kiss you is successful this time. the kiss feels much better—softer—than last night’s. he’s gentle with his desperation, intent on making you stay. “‘m sorry, okay?” he says between kisses. “let me make it better.”

“no, luigi, we shouldn’t—”

“you’ve got to hear me out, y/n,” he takes your lips again. his hot kisses move down your neck—and it all feels so different this time around. even the air in the room feels lighter. his voice is against your ear when he swears, “i’ll be good to you, sweetheart, i promise.”

saying no to him is near impossible—it’s why you shut yourself off of him for weeks, avoiding places he frequented, deactivating your social media, ignoring his constant stream of messages and calls. now, he has you, and within minutes, you’re pressed against the wall again.

“feels good?” he teases, grinding his hard-on into your core. you melt underneath him, you can’t help it, he’s so warm.

“lu,” you whimper. you’re still sensitive from how selfishly he took you the night before, you can’t help but react to his touch so quickly. it felt so raw.

“wait—” he never does. his hands are on your hips again, moving your body against his.

“just let me take care of you,” he says, trailing kisses down your neck again. this time, he was sure to leave marks.

he keeps the dress on this time. he places you back onto the bed, and as you gather the courage to take him in again, he moves beneath you.

“knew i recognized these,” his voice hot against the fabric of your panties.

you told yourself the lacy black panties were just meant to match the dress, but it all seemed so intentional—the party crash, the kitchen drive-by, the fact that you were wearing his valentines day gift. whether this was a manifestation of your greatest fear or desire, you couldn’t tell.

he kisses your thighs, then runs his tongue against your core through the fabric of your panties before ceremoniously ripping them off. he kisses and sucks at your wetness. you tremble at the suddenness of his movement. his big nose is so prominent in your pussy, you can’t help but grind yourself against his perfect face and whine as he drinks you in.

“you’re such a fucking mess,” luigi says, smiling into your warmth. his unshaven stubble tickles your sensitive cunt, sending a tremor through you. “so wet, i’ve barely even touched you.”

“i can’t help it,” you whimper.

he grabs your ass, pulling you closer to his relentless mouth. it’s ridiculous how good he feels. he’s completely shameless in his endeavor to ruin you.

“look at me,” luigi orders, so you do. you look down to see him, finding that he’s already gotten to touching himself. his hard length at the edge of the bed, furiously red, as he strokes himself. “i think about you everyday,” he admits in between licking at your core. “i missed how this pretty pussy tasted. i missed having you like this. holding you down so you can’t squirm away. missed hearing you beg.”

you’re almost there, fidgeting underneath his hands. “luigi, please. it’s too much.”

“you’ve taken worse,” he growls into you.

he feels like he’s on fire. one hand moves up and down along his cock fervently, while the other lends itself to fingering your frothing pussy. you mewl at the sudden entry, back arching.

“luigi,” you whine. “please.”

“i’m trying to do a nice thing for you, y/n,” he hums, “but you want me to be selfish, hm? want me to take you?”

“yes,” you say, breathless.

“fuckin’ slut,” he grumbles, pulling himself away from your wet cunt. he grabs your ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed. “what d’you want from me, huh?”

“want you.”

“course you do,” luigi says, surprising you with hard slaps against your sensitive clit. you cry out at the sensation, the unfamiliar storm of bliss and torment, and he chuckles darkly. “you fuckin’ belong to me.”

he grabs your chin and forces you into another kiss, your wetness now staining you both. he lifts your leg up and slides himself back into your wet warmth. “you’re dripping,” he praises as he pounds into you. the exhilarating pain sets your senses alight, you grip onto him tighter without even realizing. “all for me, yeah?”

“all for you.” you nod. this is not how you expected this conversation to go. you writhe at how big he is, how hard.

“you can take it,” he grunts. he’s not fast, this time—his thrusts are agonizingly slow and tortuously deep—just as you think it’s all entirely too much, one hand grips your clothed tit, the other lifts to cradle your chin, forcing your lips to part open. he spits into your mouth. “swallow,” he orders.

you do.

“good girl,” he places sloppy, wet kisses along your jaw, your neck, then goes to bite at your tits. “so fuckin’ pretty.”

“i thought about you too,” you admit sheepishly, out of your mind. he looks up at you, raises his eyebrows, urging you to go on. “i missed you.”

to your surprise, he scoffs. “fuckin’ bitch.” he suddenly loses the interest in being gentle with you, returning to your body rough and angry. his fingers massage against your clit, unraveling you. “you’re just as crazy as i am, you know that? running around town like you don’t belong to me. like you don’t touch yourself late at night thinking about this cock. wishing those fingers were half as good as mine, huh? fuckin’ idiot.”

“luigi,” you cry out. was this him being nice?

“be a good girl f’me,” he grunts. he feels you pulse around his cock and drives into you with even more force. “cum all over me, baby. have my fuckin’ kids.”

“luigi,” you mewl again, desperate for release.

“come on, pretty, show me how good it feels.”

his lips return to yours, hot wet and desperate, as he cums inside of you. you’re a complete mess—squirming and whimpering as you unravel onto his cock, he catches your moans with kisses and leaves you shaking underneath him.

“good girl,” he hums, kissing your forehead.

for a fleeting moment, the two of you are perfect. everything feels just right. he slips into the spot beside you, the disarray of tangled sheets forgotten as he pulls you into his warmth. you sink into the nape of his neck, and though there are no more words spoken, the air is thick with an undeniable love, quiet but all encompassing.

but when he stirs awake, reaching for you, all that lingers is the soft, fading smell of your spring perfume.

send requests ! <3

[angelic-sweethearts]

Something about...(Jinx x fem reader)

(NSFW mentioned!)

Men and minors dni

something about Jinx having a gamer girlfriend (modern au?) (first post kinda nervous)

warnings: fingering, teasing, grinding

have been thinking about this one all the time bcs imagine her just sitting on your lap and watching you game (i need her)

sfw

- as shes a really touchy person, I can picture her coming home to your shared place, noticing you sitting on your PC and immediately making herself at home on your lap if she just wants to be close to you

- of course, youre used to it already, wrapping her arms around her waist while holding her close and still trying to play your game properly

- if youre not in a discord call, she would lightly push off your headset so that you can properly hear her rant about her day, talking about all the things she did and what annoyed her (she would do the same even if youre on a call)

- if youre not a PC but rather console player, she also enjoys you spooning her, Jinx resting on your chest while youre arms are wrapped around her waist, holding her close to you as she watches you play any game

- would probably like to play them herself sometimes but dont expect her to not fuck things up, if she can blow something up, she would do it without hesitation (i can picture her being an absolute menace in RDR2)

- she actually loves it when you rant about your game and if its one she finds interesting herself, she would 100% try them out

- loves asking questions about it just to hear you yap

- also loves it when youre resting between her thighs or when shes spooning you, watching you play and cheer you on while fighting a boss fight (if you win, she would give you a kiss or squeeze you like a plushie while saying "thats my girl" or just praising you somehow)

nsfw

- if shes feeling very needy while sitting on your lap, she doesnt even look at your game, not caring if youre on a call in discord or playing games that you cant simply pause like Valorant

- she would start to kiss your neck, sucking on the skin and leaving hickeys while youre trying your hardest to concentrate on the game and be quiet so that your teammates wont hear you

- her fingers would 'magically' slip underneath your shirt, especially while youre in a fight and it would get harder and harder for you to concentrate as her hand would roam over your sensitive stomach, finding your breast and squeezing the flesh or teasing your nipples

- "Whats wrong? Youre acting so strange, toots" She would say, her lips wandering lower as she would lock her pink shimmer eyes on your face, noticing how youre trying to hold back any sounds or curses

- if you mute yourself on call to try and talk to her, she would either play dumb "im not even doing anything, is it a crime to touch my pretty girl?" or she would say "youre muted, they cant hear you anyways, just wanna feel you right now"

- she would easily slip herself between your legs after lightly grinding your thigh, kneeling down infront of you and undoing your pants, fingers coated in your wetness as she began to fuck you with them ("such a pretty and wet pussy, all for me?" "And I barely even did anything yet")

- she would tease you, hearing you moan out her name or wanting to chase after the pleasure she gives you while moving your hips, she would definitely say things like "look at you toots, enjoying me fucking you like this"

- if she made you lose your focus that much that you lost the game but still managed to make you cum, the blue haired girl would apologize and maybe even feel a tiny bit guilt, making it up to you by just sitting on your lap and being pretty (not without leaving hickeys)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND REQUEST I WANNA WRITE MORE AND IMPROVE OMG (this sucks ass)

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki i know we've all just chosen to accept that beatings are a part of demon mating culture and like, i dont think thats 100% wrong, but also thinking about linguang-jun's reaction to seeing shang qinghua beaten at the ascension incident, im kinda hesitant to fall into it 100%

oki my biggest defense for it being a demon-culture thing is that sha hualing didn't show any disagreement when mobei jun suggested "three beatings a day" in that particularly hilarious conversation, but that's honestly pretty thin. we know that she loves binghe and she never makes any attempt to fight him or to have him fight her. if anything, she strives to avoid it

there's also the possibility that the 'beating' that linguang-jun witnessed the conclusion of was a particularly unromantic one via demon standards. he saw shang qinghua and said "oh you were clearly displeased with him" so mayyybbee there's something to the pattern of bruises that speaks to intent but again, that's pretty thin

so might i suggest, from my humble little insane brain, that rather than beatings being a demon-culture thing, mobei jun is just fucking weird

oki bear with me oki but i rlly like this idea a lot LOL

im not even saying that mobei jun is a sadist (altho def not opposed to that), im saying that my socially awkward icy demon lord just straight up has no good concept of how to get the attention of his intended and this is sincerely his best effort. there's no research, no demon custom, no human custom, it's just mobei jun desperately screaming "look at meeeeeee pleaaassseeee" in his own extremely unique way that fucking no one understands

i would defend that this is likely due to his fucked up childhood and trust issues. like maybe linguang-jun isolated him to such an extent that mobei-jun winds up relatively divorced from his own culture for courting and doesnt even fucking know the first thing about it. maybe he has some twisted history of "look the only time i was shown affection was during martial training, which were basically beatings, so beatings = affection, yeah?" or maybe he's just so stupid and desperate that he has no fucking idea and no real plan, he's just trying to get shang qinghua's attention by any means necessary

i sort of like a mixture of all of the above. like linguang jun was the only person who showed him more typical signs of affection, and that was the prelude to betrayal. so mobei jun doesnt trust those types of affectionate gestures. but when he received martial training, either from his uncle or in one of the handful of times he'd seen his father, it was at least useful. like he can remember getting beaten and know there was an honesty to it. beating him made him stronger, being strong helped him to survive, it was the truest affection he's received in his life. and look, mobei jun hasn't exactly put all of that together all of that in as many words, but the effect is long lasting. and not all of shang qinghua's beatings were out of affection either. ultimately, there's this suspicious as fuck cultivator who's groveling at his feet and mobei-jun isnt exactly keen on humanity to begin with. and with shang qinghua prone to more typical shows of affection, the way his uncle was before the Betrayal? he's not going to be tricked again! he'll beat the human into submission to prove that he's strong and he's not a small defenseless child anymore who can be so ruthlessly abandoned! but then he really does start to develop feelings for shang qinghua and really does want his attention and qinghua simply wont look at him. sure, he'll throw out a million words of groveling and acting pathetic, but what does any of that even fucking mean?! does qinghua only see him as a king? does qinghua even see him as that or is he waiting for a chance to betray him? how can he get shang qinghua's attention? how can he keep him? and so he thinks about his only fond memories of 'affection' and starts the habit of beating qinghua lightly three times a day. it's gotta work. it totally has to work. it MUST be working, bc qinghua just told the demon emperor that acting pathetic is a way of showing affection!!! SO CLEARLY QINGHUA MUST LOOK AT HIM NOW RIGHT?!!? but their relationship just doesnt seem to be progressing and after the qinghua saves him from falling, mobei jun now has a brand new "height of being show affection" memory to cling to but its... very much the opposite of his memories of being beaten. and a whole lot better too. being caught by shang qinghua and protected in that way has his heart thudding every time he remembers it and suddenly beating qinghua has lost its appeal. how can he do something for qinghua that matches that feeling??? because now it feels poultry to offer qinghua mere beatings when those barely even seem enjoyable for qinghua anyway??? and he doesnt particularly enjoy qinghua acting pathetic for him either, even if he knows theres affection behind the gesture, and qinghua always acts extra pathetic during beatings so thats another reason to lay off. so mobei jun is in the middle of contemplating this shit and stops beating qinghua so much when suddenly its time for his ascension ceremony and he drags qinghua there with him and now qinghua is talking about leaving him and mobei jun's heart just about shatters. is it because he laid off on the beatings? is it because qinghua was always planning to betray him, the way he always feared? is it because mobei jun misread this whole thing? in front of his dead fathers door, a man who never gave much of a fuck about him, while anticipating the arrival of his horrible uncle, vulnerable and reminded of every reason he's never trusted traditional shows of intimacy and so he tells qinghua to fuck off, beats him without any affectionate intentions, and greets his uncle in heartbroken misery. but then qinghua COMES BACK WHEN HE NEEDS HIM and he apparently always hated the beatings which is a blow but also now QINGHUA IS LEAVING HIM AGAIN AND THIS IS HELL, MOBEI IS IN HELL RN.

and not to mention, he witnessed linguang-jun beating shang qinghua and suddenly, he doesnt even know why he ever thought beatings were all that affectionate either because this is horrible and he hates it and mobei jun is Not Equipped To Cope With Guilt, it's not something he's been trained in and he is not coping with ANY of this well tbh, not his uncle, not his heartbreak, and he just wants the familiarity of shang qinghua's normal pathetic behavior. something normal. something to ground him. but shang qinghua is not normal right now and he's still planning to LEAVE and mobei jun is all panic, no thoughts. and now shang qinghua is saying shit like "you only beat me cuz i was easy-going and weak" and ow? that hurts? and then shang qinghua is saying he was only ever indulging mobei jun and OW? THAT HURTS?! and mobei jun is prideful and in pain and upset so he's relying on familiar emotions. being angry. being prideful. being haughty. pretending he has any control over this situation. unsure how to act outside of their normal dynamic. unsure how to respond to this very different side of qinghua. but no matter what he says, qinghua is leaving. qinghua pinches his cheeks and insults him and calls him spoiled even when he's seen directly how his own uncle treats him and calls himself his father in front of the room where his father lies dead and yeah, it hurts when qinghua pinches his cheeks. not just the physical pain, but the knowledge that qinghua wants to hurt him. that hurts most of all and it's pathetic but mobei jun's head is swimming with the knowledge that maybe violence was never a good idea between them but what else can he do in this situation? he's completely out of his depth! so he threatens qinghua not to leave and he still LEAVES

so now he's trying to find qinghua and the entire time his mind is a complete mess of emotions because was he wrong all this time and qinghua cannot be gone, thats unacceptable, and what can he offer to make qinghua stay? how can he possibly not lose this person?? and the best he can think of is to let qinghua hurt him in return, let him get his licks in, and maybe that will help

but shang qinghua doesnt hit him when offered and qinghua seems a bit scared of him and for the first time ever that seems kinda fucking awful and mobei jun is out of his depth, but the warmth he feels when shang qinghua wont hit him is really... something. and maybe theres a lot more shows of affection he should be learning, like the feeling when someone could hit you but chooses not to. and look, he's starting from abysmal standards. and yeah, when shang qinghua suggests he cook for him that sounds weird and demeaning and mobei jun instinctively wants to turn it down

but when he thinks about how it might be a way to show affection that they both appreciate, he's really determined to see it through

anyway thats a verrrryyyyy long over-explanation as to why i dont think the beatings are demon culture, i think mobei jun is just a terminally awkward traumatized weirdo who doesnt know how to communicate

[rathayibacter]

Ok so how does one MAKE a tabletop game because this is something I want to try!! Are there good references out there for non-d20 systems or how to balance mechanics yourself?

oooh, hell yeah! honestly the big thing is to just do it, unlike board and video games the gap between idea and execution in ttrpgs is incredibly narrow, so if youve got an idea just start writing stuff down and see where it starts pulling you, where it feels like something's missing, find what excites you and what you feel isn't working. but that's not very specific, so let's get into it!

first off, read games! read weird games! there's tons of free ttrpgs on itch, lots of people sharing their work here and on other social media, there's 200 word rpgs here and here, and lots of system reference documents written specifically for people looking to hack games. reading other games is a great way to enrich your work whether you're building systems from scratch or working in an existing framework, because every game you read will show you a new way of approaching design problems.

on that note, draw inspiration outside of ttrpgs too! i pull a lot from video, board, and card games in my work, as well as poetry, novels, movies, etc etc etc. im autistic, and ive spent a lot of my life thinking about and dissecting unwritten social rules, so that's another big source of material for me. take your passions, whatever they may be, and put them in your work!

next up, think about the core of your game, sometimes called the minimum viable product. this is whatever the fundamental idea at the heart of your work is, and it's important to keep in mind because it keeps you from spiraling down unnecessary tangents. the core of your game can change, don't get me wrong! in fact, it likely will. what you want to do isn't prevent your work from growing and changing, but have a point of light you can always refer back to and ask "is what im doing important to this game?" you might be surprised by what you find isn't actually as important as you thought at first, and what turns out to be vital to the experience you're going for.

next up, once you start working, don't throw things away. if youre working in a word processor or google docs, it can help to have a section at the bottom of your document that you copy anything youd otherwise delete into. i do the same with my Affinity documents, ill have a few pages i dont export to store all my scraps. i know other folks who keep a dedicated scraps document that they use across projects. whatever works for you! the reason you do this is twofold: it makes it easier to cut things if you know you can always put it back later if you change your mind, and it gives you a lot of raw material that you can pull from in the future. months or years from now, you might find yourself looking to fill a gap in a new design and realize that some cool toy you set aside is exactly what you were looking for.

lastly, i wanna strongly encourage you to practice finishing things. that's often the hardest part for people, cuz we have a lot more experience starting projects than finishing them. here id like to once again direct you to 200 word rpgs, because that strict limit means you wind up with a finished first draft really quickly, and the rest of it is polishing and editing. once you've finished some bite-sized projects, you'll have a better idea of what it entails, what parts you're good at and what parts you struggle with, when to keep working and when to cut yourself off. i find it really helpful to add arbitrary limitations and deadlines on my work because that helps me push myself to finish something when otherwise i'd just keep adding and tweaking, but you'll find what works best for you!

[seokmn]

FAILURE

pairing: dokyeom x gn!reader

wc: 0.6k words

lua’s note: maybe this fic is a bit specific because its kinda a vent. i wanted to get this out of my chest somehow and decided to post it because maybe there’s someone who’s going through the same thing as me and need to read these words. essa vai pros que so fizeram o enem e vestibulares de faculdades publicas e nao passaram pra segunda fase deles e agora precisam esperar a nota do enem pra meter no sisu ou prouni 😛

another instagram story you viewed, another text with those three cursed words you read and another ‘congratulations, lets celebrate it!’ you had to write as a reply for that text. you sighed, placed your phone on your lap and hid your face with your hands.

the only thing that comes to your mind right now is the word failure. you failed and now you have to watch other people celebrate their accomplishments.

seokmin heard your sigh and turned around to look at you, taking sight of your disappointed figure. he stopped cooking, dropping the knife and washing his hands before sitting down next to you on the couch. his hand rested on your thigh, a way to try to comfort you without words being said. he already had an idea about why were you like that. “another one?”

you hummed and stopped hiding your face. you looked at him with a small smile and nodded. “another one,” you looked down and took his hand before looking back at him, trying to sound and look okay. “another friend of mine was accepted at the university she wanted.”

seokmin let out a quiet sigh and rubbed his thumb against the back of your hand. he didnt say anything, already knowing you’d keep venting about it to him. “im happy for her, i really am. but i cant help but ask myself: is this it? am i going to stay behind while all my friends will go to college and live their lives? am i too dumb to go to college?” your lips began to tremble and your voice was cracking, “and i hate myself for feeling this way, i hate to compare my life to theirs and not being able to be happy for them without feeling miserable about my situation. they studied a lot for this and they deserve it, but i studied as well. is it something wrong with me?”

seokmin frowned and placed your head against his chest. “theres nothing wrong with you,” he began to caress your head, trying to soothe you. “you said yourself that this year took a toll on you because of studies, trying to be sure about your future and trying to find an university that youd like the thought of studying there. do your things in your own pace. you not being accepted in any university until now doesnt mean youre a failure, you cant be accepted in any university yet because you gotta wait your results of the national exam come out.”

he cupped your cheeks and pulled you away from his chest so you could look at each others eyes. “listen to me, you are not a failure, okay? you just graduated from high school, youre so young and you have so much things to do. take your own time, that doesnt mean youre staying behind. that means you’re building your own path.”

you nodded as he brushed your tears away with his thumb. listening to his words was like being hugged by your mother after spending a whole day away from her when you were a little kid, was like being kissed by the wind while watching the sunset at the beach with a loved one.

seokmin always knew how to comfort you, how to make you realize youre not being fair with yourself and that you should be way kinder with yourself because you are loved and are capable of doing anything.

“dont forget about that,” he kissed your forehead and stood up, looking at you with love in his eyes and that comfy smile that no one else but him could smile like that. “now help me to cook. we’re going to eat a delicious meal and then spend the rest of the day watching your favorite sitcom”

[onyx-is-a-loser]

!! SPOILERS !! Arcane: Season 2, Episode 7 (LONG A- BRAINDUMP)

Found this in my drafts and it’s kinda too funny not to post (sorry if it makes no sense, I was very emotional)

LITERALLY the most emotionally violent thing I’ve ever experienced and I NEED to talk about it:

OKAY so like, Ekko wakes up in this dream world where everything is perfect and I’m like "aww cute, it’s like a Hallmark movie," and then 2 SECONDS later “WAIT NO, THIS ISN’T REAL, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS TO ME” because the moment he gets comfortable, the show’s like, “LOL nope, here’s reality, have fun with the trauma, buddy.”

THE CONTRAST. THE JUxtaposition of dream vs. nightmare?? I can’t breathe.

I’m screaming because Ekko’s dream world is all golden light and perfect and everyone is alive, and I’m sitting here like “YES, PLEASE LET HIM LIVE IN THIS ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE HIS FAMILY DOESN’T DIE” and then reality is sharp and cold and cracked and I’m CAN YOU PLEASE NOT JUST SHOVE THIS MUCH PAIN INTO MY FACE???

The clock motif is an entire thesis on grief and time, why is this show so goddamn smart?? Ekko’s dream world is a pristine clock, but the real world is “lol no time doesn’t work that way, here’s a broken, rusted piece of trash” and I’m sitting here like, YES, tell me more about how time is a construct and I’m crying because none of us can go back and fix things. THANKS, ARCANE, FOR THE PAIN.

ALSO

Powder in the dream world?? She’s soft and innocent and I “holy SHIT this is the Powder we could have had, this is what she could have been if everything wasn’t so messed up,” and then I blink and she’s Jinx again, chaotic, explosive, neon nightmare fuel, and I’m just lying on the floor like "why do I do this to myself." I LOVE HER DONT GET ME WRONG BUT I ALSO WANT HER TO BE HAPPY

And don’t even get me started on Ekko and Powder dancing like it’s some kind of tragic, beautifully animated nightmare. I’m crying, I’m sobbing, I’m screaming, because this is the kind of thing that could have been real if the fate of their world didn’t DESTROY THEM. Who hurt you, Ekko? WHO HURT YOU BOTH??

The soundtrack in this episode is too much for me to handle. It starts off all soft and whimsical like “oh, this is nice, everything’s fine, I’m fine,” and then—BOOM—reality hits and I’m curled in a ball crying because it feels like every note is punching me in the gut. (This will definitely be a separate post)

There’s just so much GRIEF in this episode. Like, Ekko doesn’t want to leave the dream world because it’s everything he ever wanted, and honestly, I GET IT. Who wouldn’t want to live in a universe where your worst trauma never happens?? But then he HAS to leave because it’s not real, and reality is just there, waiting to crush you like a hextech bomb.

And I swear to god, the entire episode is a metaphor for “it’s not your fault, but it still hurts, and you can’t change the past, and that’s the worst part.” So yeah, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out how to recover from this emotional rollercoaster that is literally breaking my brain.

Arcane is a work of art, but it’s also a weapon of mass destruction. And I am DONE.

[roninreverie]

Bonus: Drafts:

Testing the Waters

[ode-to-fury]

You know, in any other piece of media I would never advise this but specifically in datv case I think the game really could have benefitted from acknowledging the problems with the writing more. I think a lot of people may disagree with me and I don't know if I really know how I want to say this but if you just... acknowledge things that are in the game with a little bit of nuance? Like the Veil dilemma. I wish the veil had come down because the whole southern blight thing really makes the veil not coming down obsolete. We were trying not to kill thousands of people but thousands of people died anyway so whats the difference? You're just shifting the blame from solas onto rook but they dont ever aknowledge that in the game? Let Rook have one line about it being their fault that the gods are out ADDRESS THAT IN THE FUCKING REGRET PRISON. Let the game say "ok maybe tearing down the veil isnt what we want to happen but there are real and serious reasons that solas may want to persue this course of action" instead of being like "haha solas is so dumb and stupid and evil and of course we are in the right" because if you think about it? Not bringing down the veil means the spirits are still getting the short end of the stick. This was set out in inquisition? Just admit that you said that and dont try and change it? Or the blight. If you don't know what happens to the blight post game, just say so? Have a line where someone says "we dont know whats going to happen with the blight now that the evanuris are gone" and then you can leave it to fan interpretation or future games but at least theres something there telling me you thought about it and havent FORGOTTEN WHAT THE CALLING MEANS (because my definition of the calling and john eplers definition are two extremely different things and his is wrong). The crows, you need one line of dialogue to fix the crows. And not even pc dialogue, it can be ambient. Give me something. Give me a line. I understand there were budget and time restrictions, but if you just acknowledge that there's things you couldn't expand on as much as you wanted to instead of treating the player like they should know to make it up in their head or treating them like they're stupid for caring, it would already be better.

[boytumms]

this one is kinda basic but i can't help thinking about rapidpreg. guy has a cheeky hookup in a club bathroom thinking nothing of it, then over the next five minutes sees his belly swell incomprehensibly fast. it's growing so quickly it makes him sway off balance, he even falls down on the floor. people around him are noticing. his shirt grows so tight it rides up and up, and everyone can see how stretched out and red his belly skin is, only barely accommodating whatever is in there. before he can even think, his water breaks.

omg dont say this to me im going to the club for new years eve and im gonna be thinking about this the whole timeeeee

It's a popular club, packed with hundreds of people all shoulder to shoulder on the dance floor, so when his belly starts to rapidly swell, he can't escape the crowd of people. He panics, trying to push his way through to get out of the club, but the music is too loud, the people are too drunk, and his belly is getting heavier by the second. In only minutes he's swollen as far as a nine month pregnancy, and his legs buckle under the sudden added weight. Collapsed on the sticky floor, he screams in pain, clutching his creaking belly as he tries to shield himself from the crowd as people continue to dance, nearly trampling him on the ground.

Some people start to notice as they bump into him, and a circle forms around him as people realize there's something wrong and back off a bit. Under the flashing club lights, the crowd watches as he writhes beneath his bulging belly, legs spread wide to accommodate the rapid growth. He begs for someone to help him, but everyone is either to shocked, horrified, or fascinated to step up and help him. His belly bounces in his arms, something inside rolling and kicking violently, making him throw his head back and scream. A burst of water gushes out from between his legs, and the crowd gasps and shuffles back to avoid the puddle that's forming beneath him.

His belly contracts and something big drops into his narrow hips, and he wails in pain as whatever just grew inside him begins to wriggle its way out in front of hundreds of people...

[voikiraz]

— ꒰ ∗ ִ ⍺lways ᧉven ᥒow ⠀ ꒱ [ k.dh ]

Lovers . donghyun x fem!reader ⠀𝑤. angst, breaking up w donghyun should be the biggest warning, hurt no comfort lolsies step ? #843 M.recordings [ lol, merry Christmas pookies ( for those who celebrate )]

syn. maybe it was just a story that was meant to end one way or another.

His heart squeezed tightly as he stared at the only light source in his dark room, his phone displaying a few words he didn't want to make sense of, he took a few seconds of heavy breathing until his fingers slid across the screen.

He can't run from this forever.

“Can you please call me when you have the time? We can't keep pushing this talk back donghyun”

A few taps on his phone and the ringing tone was making it’s way into his ears, making those few seconds take a much longer toll on him.

“Hey,” he heard your voice call out and his breath hitched.

He can't lie and say this was fully unexpected, he knew something was up. 

The way he was starting to forget the warmth of your touch, your gleaming smile that was only reserved for him, your soft voice that lulled him to places and feelings he could only ever dream of. 

It wasn't the same anymore and he knew that, your touch still lingers against his skin, but empty of any warmth that once used to soften his heart, your smile is pettyfull, reminiscing what could've been, your voice is firm and full of what ifs that were failing to leave your lips.

“Hi” his voice cracked, and you barely even heard him.

“Listen, i know you were expecting this and i know its so wrong of me, this isnt easy for me to say, i need you to know that you mean so much to me hannie and ill always care about you and ill love you no matter what, but you can feel it too leehan-” you sucked in a breath, trying not to let your emotions get the best of you. “We're moving in different directions and growing apart, and its not your fault, i'm not trying to play the blame game here you know that, but i think we both deserve to be with someone moving along with us, and growing with us and its eating me alive that i can't be that person for you anymore.”

He leaned against the table, feeling like if he kept pacing around the room his knees wouldn't hold up, your words echoing one by one through his mind and piercing through the air like sharp knives.

“I hope you know I'm doing this because you and I both know that it's what's right for us, maybe we won't understand that now but it's true.” You sounded composed but the soft sobs that were falling from your lips didn't fall on deaf ears, and leehan shut his eyes as tight as he could, thinking maybe it'll be over quicker that way. Maybe

Deep down he knew that it wasn't really anyone's fault, it was just life, but he never heard you sound this hopeless before, broken, and he just wanted to hold you, caress your hair and tell you that it's okay, he's there for you and nothing will ever make him leave your side. 

“I love you, i dont think I'll stop loving you any time soon, but for now, we can't be together donghyun.” You inhaled deeply, silence stretching for a few seconds before you hung up, you knew he wouldn't say anything, you could practically feel everything he wanted to say radiating to you from the end of the line.

You gripped your phone tightly as you just stared at the wall, too exhausted to move, blaming life for destroying what you could call a perfect life, you cried, and cried and you couldn't do anything but look down and let your mind wander.

Until you drifted off to a place where everything felt less heavy.

11:48 pm.

You got a message from ‘my hyunnie’ 

“you have no idea how much i love you and how much i care about you, i would do anything for you y/n, i've been trying to find the right words for hours, but i don't think any words can capture my feelings for you.

I dont want to let you go, i cant, i dont even know how to do that, i keep telling myself that it'll be okay but i cant help feeling like I'm losing a part of myself with you, maybe its selfish but you're my everything y/n and i’ll never let go of what we had even if it kills me, i keep wishing we would've found a way to make it work but i don't think this is our story anymore.

But i want you to know that even though things are changing, my love for you will never change, you were my whole world for so long, and i'll always remember that, i understand that we're moving apart and even though that's so hard to accept, i want you to be happy even if it means you won't be by my side, just know that i'll always carry you with me wherever i go, always.

Take care of yourself my love, i'll never stop loving you”

Kim donghyun

© voikiraz 2O24

[luneemeritus]

Fans created this realm of purity around Octavia where no one can criticize a single one of her actions or just be frustrated with her without being insulted and accused of "babying Stolas". But I'm not afraid of being honest or making hot takes that will upset a lot of I'm Literally OctaviaTM fan accounts.

Octavia is not flawless. Octavia can be criticized and can be in the wrong, and you are allowed to be frustrated with her. Damn, even Brandon dislikes her (which caused several fans to harrass him for it, yall so fucking insane). She is a 17yo girl, she is a young woman, not child. She can (and does) make mistakes, she can be cruel, she can be unfair.

Fans call Stolas selfish, a "bad father" and a lot of worse shit for ONCE IN HIS LIFE standing up to himself and choosing the smallest bit of happiness he was capable of (escaping his abuser and getting involved with someone he actually likes, and truly embracing his sexuality for the first time which seems to be a real trigger point to some fans, me thinks some of yall just dont like the gays), but are mad if anyone make the simplest complain about "hey maybe Via should've hear him out and try to think about his side of the story, use some critical thinking to realize Stella was never a good person to her father and etc etc". Like if not treating Via as a flawless angel and Stolas as the mean father is the same as wishing Via to be beheaded. Like grow the fuck up. All of you judging Stolas would do THE SAME if you were in his situation. Imagine living your whole life to others, for others, forced to live in a masquerade while being brutally abused every day and still be judged the worst personTM because your teenage child (again, traumatized AND affected by the same abuse you've been through) misundertood your intentions.

As amazingly pointed in this post, Via is 17 years old. She knows what is right or wrong, oh boy she knows, if she didnt know she wouldnt even be angry at her father. She said to his face that she is upset that he saved Blitz's life. Okay, you don't want to understand Stolas because boohoo daddy issues evil owl, but at least think of Blitz's side. Imagine seeing your lover's daughter angry that your life was saved. Your life, that is systematically treated as worthless by the same class Via is part of. Just think for a moment. And Blitz still sees Via as his future daughter! If you sympathize with Blitz for being unfairly hated by his sister, why can't you do the same with Stolas and Via's situation?

Literally I've seen so many people saying in one post: "i hope millie aborts her baby because no woman should be forced to have an unwanted child", and then in the next post "how dare stolas save blitz's life, he chose him over Via (a child that he was forced to have! btw!), he's a bad father" like how fucking dare you. Why are you so shamelessly hypocritical. I AM pro-choice btw, and yes Stolas did wrong things towards Via, but like, be fucking serious. No one's life should be limitated to their relationships. Stolas never chose Blitz over Via. Suddenly Blitz's life doesn't matter anymore, when it comes to shit about Stolas, now Blitz is not the flawless victim anymore and should have died. Fuck off.

Ugh. So fucking exhausting.

As much as i can understand where Via is coming from, and her feelings are valid, she doesn’t see her dad as a living person outside of just being her father. And that isn’t right. It’s especially not right seeing just how many people feel absolutely no empathy for him.

“She was just a child having to endure all that!!” Okay, and how old was Stolas when he had to marry an abusive girl and have a kid of his own, exactly? At least he gave Via a chance to have a good childhood, he didn’t have one. He didn’t have anything except for his duties to carry out.

And while it’s heartbreaking that Via sees herself as an obligation, that’s literally what she was supposed to be. Though that doesn’t mean that was how he saw her. She was what saved him, what made him endure all the abuse, what kept him going.

But sometimes that’s not enough, he had NO ONE to confide in and couldn’t put his frustrations on his own kid (because he’s a good father, despite what some of you would like to believe, clearly you didn’t grow up with a parent trying to guilt you by traumadumping when you can barely understand it), so he also NEEDED the pills.

The thing is, i also had that mentality towards my mom for dealing with depression UNTIL i started experiencing it myself. Because it’s so hard to realize that your parents are also human beings, since they’re supposed to protect you, they’re supposed to have everything figured out, to be the shoulder you cry on.

But if i see another dumbass claim that he CHOSE to leave and made the wrong decision in Mastermind, i need you out of this fandom. The whole point of that was that he had no choice, was he supposed to throw away the man he fell in love with, his first friend, his first time that wasn’t for procreation, and the one who liberated him? Stolas is allowed to care for more than one person, and he deserves to be loved romantically by someone.

You’re being too harsh on Stolas because for whatever reason you hate an abuse victim finally having a say in how to live for once in their lives, adding on top of that the weird, underlying homophobia in some of your criticisms for him.

Also i have a bad taste in my mouth from Via only seemingly hating Stolas, despite having SEEN how shitty Stella is. Sure, she doesn’t know the full extent of the abuse, but she’s heard the yelling, she’s seen the throwing, the ridiculing, the insensitivity. And most likely that woman neglected Via as much as possible, because she also didn’t choose to have her, but unlike Stolas she didn’t give a fuck to take responsibility regardless. (Reminding you of the “You get up” comment from Loo Loo Land). This was all happening before the cheating, so that’s not an excuse for her behavior (not that the cheating was, but at least Via would have been able to reason with her reaction to it).

It’s a complicated situation and it’s so shitty to put all the blame on Stolas, he tried so much for his family, but it was never going to be enough, because he’s gay. I’m glad he got out of that marriage.

Honestly, had i been given all those responsibilities at his age in a loveless marriage, i would’ve gone insane. I wouldn’t have been kind to my child, the cause of my shit life. But he never saw her as a weight on his shoulders, he has so much love for Via.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Ppl who say charles is "a piece of shit" doesn't understand that 1: characters can have NUANCE and 2: these comics have a million different writers for each run with varying degrees of quality for each character and storyline. Some writers fuck charles up bc they dont like him/dont know how to write him. And i dont count those characterizations of Charles bc the "flaws" they gave him are in bad faith interpretation of the character. Now i love me some hypocritical asshole charles but thats not the point of his character, which is that he always struggles with trying to have a peaceful outcome which sometimes in order to get that, you have to be a manipulative asshole to bring the peace. Doesn't mean you have to like doing it either (subconsciously is a different story for a different time)

(Also sorry for giving you a wall of text lol i love your art hope you're doing well)

its just especially Interesting with charles because it's not as if Every Other Character is perfect and saintly and has never made a mistake. like i think everyone understands these characters have nuance and they'll never act 100% in the right, its only really with charles that i see people blow up his mistakes (and sometimes misinterpret his actions if not outright make up Bad Things hes done) and act as if he's ONLY ever done wrong and EVERY action he's done was done with evil or misguided intentions

[angelic-sweethearts]

hey ho, like ur Jinx x gamer!reader :3

if u r up to continue about this then here some ideas: - playing coop games - reader spends hours trying to defeat the boss, and when she almost succeeds... Jinx distracts her (for example, with seductive touches, as in your post) and reader dies again. Then reader punishes Jinx (i dunno spanking her ass maybe? or wuteva u decide) - Jinx getting jealous when reader romances someone in the game

OHHHHH I LOVE THIS and im glad you enjoyed the first one!!

im gonna write about the coop and jealous!jinx in this one and write a proper oneshot about the other part already got the ideas :d

Something about...(Jinx x fem gamer!reader)

part 2/? of my oneshot/scenario series

men and minors dni (wlw friendly space!)

warnings (not really warnings more like content): fluff, overthinking, competitive, jealous!jinx

playing coop games with her

- i feel like playing coop games with her could either be such a therapeutic experience or the most chaotic ever

- imagine playing mario kart together for example, shes rather competitive so she would probably bring up the meanest tricks to make you lose against her (kick you off the road somehow or throw all her items at you if she gets the chance) or she would try to distract you somehow, not with any sensual touches because I feel like she gets rather childish playing video games with you, but by tickling you somehow if she has a free hand or by pushing you over to the side with her shoulder

- but if shes on a winning streak and youre just as competitive as her, she would quickly notice how youre pouting and getting frustrated, so she would let you win ("i knew you could do it, toots" "What? Me letting you win? Never, youre just better than me")

- if you actually win against her multiple times in a row *she* would get frustrated. Those are the moments Jinx would never admit that youre better than her ("Dont get so full of yourself! I was just distracted!") better make it up with cuddles and kisses

- get ready for the most chaotic minecraft gameplays

- Jinx would have lots of fun building projects with you or on her own, the differences of your aesthetic would be obvious but she'd enjoy it anyways

- I feel like she would be unstoppable with using redstone, she would build the most impressive stuff (keep in mind she builds her own guns and stuff) and flex with it while youre probably the girlfriend whos just trying to make everything pretty (or just the same menace)

- be prepared for her to blow up your house atleast once

- probably lost her dog in a cave once and actually got sad over it (happened to me multiple times)

- but overall, Jinx really enjoys any way she can spend her time with you, especially when actually doing something with you like playing games or just watching her pretty girl

jealous!jinx about reader romancing a character in game

- one day when she got home, she immediately made her way to rest between your arms and just wanted to tune down for the rest of the day, holding her beloved

- that was the only thing in her mind, until she noticed how your character in Baldurs Gate 3 (sorry the brainrot is real currently) was romantically interacting with another character, seeing how they kissed, even if it were only pixels

- you, immediately noticing how there was a sublte change in Jinxs body language as her hands pressed into fists, asked her what was wrong

- "who's that and why is your character kissing them?" She asked, her tone carrying a hint of jealousy as she eyed the screen with an unreadable expression, her shimmer eyes lightly glowing

- "its just (random character), baby. You can romance some of the people in game", you begin to explain, your hand resting on your girlfriends waist as you let the cutscene play but keep your attention on the blue haired

- "why would you romance anyone else when you got me? Am I not enough?" Her voice grew quieter, her overthinking immediately settling in

- So you already paused the game, drop the controller and move both of your hands to Jinx, holding her against you

- "Angel, no. Its not about you, alright? Youre everything to me, dont even think about yourself like that", you try to reassure her in a soft tone "Romancing characters just brings more plot into the story, you can find out different things about them. Besides, theyre just pixels. Nothing can keep up with you" You carry on, your hands already holding the blue haireds head and gently running over the top of it

- it would take her some time, but she would believe you. Yet, Jinx would still grow a little jealous at the thought of 'you', your tav or character, being romantically involved with anyone else even if only fictional/online.

- better soothe her with a lot of kisses afterwards, but she would never delete your in game process or anything, maybe just dont romance any other characters when shes around or at all

- it would either go like that, or she would be suspicious of it, growing pouty and distancing herself from you because her overthinking got the better of her and she struggles with communicating her feelings

- finally getting to the point and finding out she's just jealous, it would heal and soothe her in some way to watch your Tav break up with the character youre romancing, proving that your heart only belongs to her

hope this was good enough!! im down for more requests lol

[muthamagik]

if something was “wrong” w my forehead do people think i would just be proudly posting my face lmao. i dont care as much as i used to i actually jus have to giggle at the bravery and audacity of people sometimes. nothing is wrong w my face. please stop trying to make my forehead out to be an injury if i wasnt ok i would say i wasnt ok i think its quite weird to be wishing someone well without context, without even knowing the person personally, on public forums for the world to also point and gawk at. i thought we were adults lmao. pls never reblog my photos talmbout omg praying for u, hope ur ok, bc of how i LOOK. u dont think thats crazy?! ive had this shit on my forehead since i came on the scene and im tired of explaining it but people do way too much about it lol its fake as shit. if i said something happened what would u do, save me? no 🤣

ITS A FAT DEPOSIT 🤣

so the girlies can get bbls but i cant have a knot on my forehead? 🤣