#...the presentation was weird there were audio issues

[likeabxrdinflight]

I am now a Doctor

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[ddarker-dreams]

A Deal's a Deal II.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, descriptions of anxiety and emotional/mental manipulation. Word count: 4.1k.

Prev

You met Chrollo at an old hole-in-the-wall bookstore that housed archaic texts. 

There was little information on your condition, but what material did exist hid itself beneath allegory and ciphers. The best leads came from high strangeness circles. They expanded on Jung’s concept of the collective unconscious, drawing parallels between historical records across cultures and periods that all implied some system that transcended physical limitations. Whether it came from alchemists like Paracelsus, mystics like Crowley, or authors like William Blake, hints of this system can be found sprinkled throughout history. 

Chrollo informed you that this system is commonly called ‘Nen.’

Before him, the nomenclature eluded you. You simply regarded it as a phenomenon best kept to yourself. The world’s a weird place, filled with inexplicable things that the human mind can’t always comprehend. This handheld device, which you nicknamed Instant Replay, is the foremost example.

You were always aware that you knew things you shouldn’t have. As a child, it perplexed you. Why do people sometimes sound weird? A few trips to the audiologist proved your hearing is perfectly fine. When this avenue didn’t provide answers, you ended up in counseling, where you reenacted the dilemma with dolls. For a while, you insisted that what you heard was real. It frustrated you to no end that the adults in your life either dismissed you or offered bromides. 

As an adult yourself in the present, you can’t blame them for being at a loss. 

You smartened up eventually. What you once blabbed about to anyone who would listen, you kept to yourself. This eased the tensions at home. Your parents seemed happy that the issue had ‘resolved’ itself and you maintained the illusion. Playing pretending could only do so much — the core problem remained. Your mind made the connection that when another was being dishonest, that’s when their voice would sound strange. After you realize that, there’s no going back. The epiphany changed how you interacted with others for better and for worse. 

“You want to get rid of your ability?” he sounded surprised when he asked. 

“How could I not?” you replied. “People lie… a lot. Friends, family, strangers. And, okay, that might not seem bad, but imagine always being aware of it. It— It eats away at you. Wears down your ability to trust. I have to act like I’m none the wiser, knowing full well someone just lied to my face. I don’t want to know! I’m tired of knowing!” 

“You’re unable to control when it’s active?” 

“Instant Replay lets me ‘review’ audio, both in real-time and after it’s been recorded. I have control over the latter, but that’s it.”

Your antagonistic relationship with Nen fascinated Chrollo. According to him, most people were intentional when it came to crafting their Hatsu. There are very few cases like yours where Hatsu is subconsciously given shape and form. You wish your subconscious had created something more useful, like a sword. That would’ve been cool. 

“Could I learn a new ability to oust Instant Replay?” you wondered. 

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way,” Chrollo dismissed. “In theory, it is possible to learn different abilities, although your inexperience would make that difficult. There’s no way to erase an ability either. You can, however, lose access to it. For instance, there’s my predicament, or…” 

He leaned in close and whispered: 

“... Someone could steal it.” 

-

Chrollo looks out of place in your apartment.  

It’s a cozy, lived-in space, full of trinkets that he thoughtfully examines as if he were in the Louvre. Meanwhile, you prepare two cups of tea. Chamomile with honey for you and Earl Grey for him. After setting the timer for five minutes, you realize there’s not much else to do but wait. The silence is unusual and unnerving. Anticipation thrums through the air like an electric current. You feel it coursing through your blood; tingling along your skin. 

The barstool you’ve chosen as your perch groans against the wooden floor as you pull it out.

Chrollo picks up a picture for closer inspection. You crane your neck, curious about which snapshot captured his attention. It’s from a night out with friends. Empty plates and drinks littered the table and each of you crowded in close to fit into frame. Since the restaurant was high-end, you were dolled up, adorned in an outfit that rarely saw the light of day. 

“Swarovski?” He sounds amused. 

“I’ve been known to splurge on the occasion,” you huff. “The necklace was on sale and the earrings were—” 

You cut yourself off, although you’re unsure why. It shouldn’t be a taboo topic. Nonetheless, beneath the weight of his gaze, you couldn’t get the word out. 

“—From an ex?” He offers. 

You nod. 

He returns the picture to its proper place, a cryptic smile on his lips. “So even you aren’t above materialistic impulses, hm?” 

“There’s a difference between rampant consumerism and buying yourself something nice on occasion,” you retaliate, disliking the edge of mockery in his voice. “I don’t need to hear this from the dude wearing a silver Rolex watch.” 

“It’s white gold.” 

You roll your eyes. “A camel through the eye of a needle.” 

“‘First cast out the beam out of thine own eye.’” 

“Do you seriously have the entire King James version of the Bible memorized?” 

“It was one of the most accessible texts in my youth,” he says, his smile softening into something pensive. “The missionaries were far more generous with those showing signs of ‘progress.’ I tried helping my companions memorize the more significant passages, but they weren’t what you’d call ideal pupils.” 

Missionaries? You purse your lips and consider the implications. Had Chrollo grown up in destitution? Come to think of it, you know very little about him or his background. Unlike you, he never volunteered the information. He skillfully maneuvered around any inquiry into his past. The most you’ve gleaned is that he’s a traveling antiquarian who, in pursuit of valuables, made some enemies along the way. 

The shrill shriek of the timer rips you from your thoughts. 

Chrollo accepts his mug with a “thank you” and sits on the rightmost side of your coach. After plopping two ice cubes into your concoction, you join him, leaving ample room between you. The nerves from earlier return. He’s an easy man to converse with, but when his mind is preoccupied — as it most certainly is now — you’re at a loss. Do you try reinitiating banter? Opt for a completely different topic? Or should you let him initiative, squirming around until he breaks the thickening tension? 

“Have I held you in suspense long enough?” Chrollo asks while holding his hand out. A book with a handprint on the cover appears, the pages flipping too fast for you to gauge their contents.

The quality of his aura temporarily stupefies you. This must be the difference between a novice like yourself and a genius. You can muster up enough aura to summon Instant Replay, but that takes considerable effort. To him, managing the flow of aura comes as easy as breathing. You scooch closer to study his technique. How long would it take you to match his expertise? Years? Decades? 

“I’ll get bashful if you keep staring at me like that.” 

“Liar,” you accuse without any real malice. 

He chuckles.

“Give me your hand.” 

Heat rushes to your face as you recall what happened when you last parted. “D-Do I have to?” 

“Yes.” 

Hesitantly, you do as he requests. He maneuvers your hand against the conjured book’s cover. You gnaw on your bottom lip, trepidation brewing inside your soul. You thought you’d feel relieved when this moment came. There’d be some butterflies, yes, but that would quickly give way to relief and exhilaration. The thorn that’s been in your side all these years is finally coming out. Your quid pro quo has reached its conclusion; this is your reward, your ticket to a normal life. 

“I like you too.” 

“I’ll be there whenever you need me.”

“It’s okay if you come.” 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.” 

“We’ll always be together.”

Yes, people lie a lot. Sometimes, you’re unsure if they’re even aware of it themselves. They lie to you, the people they love, the people they hate, and themselves. Fate decided you’d be made witness to their folly, sewing your lips shut and eyes wide open. The wounds it left behind are intangible and incurable. How do you heal what you can’t explain knowing to others? How do you explain your hesitation, shift in demeanor, and inadequate coverup? 

The sound of Instant Replay whirring reverberates throughout your skull. 

Chrollo speaks your name softly. You startle, realizing that you’re blinking back tears. 

“I—” 

“It’s alright,” he reassures. The words sound crisp — genuine — soothing your budding concern that you’re inconveniencing him somehow. In an instant, the hardcover dissipates, leaving your hand flat against nothing. Chrollo takes the opportunity to come closer. When you don’t protest, he completely closes the distance, until you’re thigh to thigh. 

He smells good. Intoxicatingly so. 

“Show me the ability you despise so much, dear.” 

Dear? You think to protest the emergence of this nickname, yet you can’t bring yourself to. Instead, you follow his order, mechanically lifting your arm and summoning your ability much like he had. 

“Good. It’s almost over with,” he brushes the wetness away from your eyes with his knuckles. Your heart leaps at the contact. “Finally, I have to ask about your ability. There are so many possibilities… what to choose, what to choose… ah.” 

With the same hand that wiped away your nascent tears, he cups your cheek.

“Do you trust a man like me with such a dangerous ability?” 

“I have my reservations,” you respond. You don’t miss the amusement he derives from your candidness. “This sounds bad, but… at this point, I guess I just don’t care.” 

For a moment, all is still. There’s no odor of sulfur, maniacal cackling, or declaration that the ritual is complete. You didn’t have to sign a contract in blood or swear an oath to an infernal being. Your overactive imagination ran numerous scenarios through your head. The lack of flair over this life-defining moment is almost underwhelming. You frown, fearing that there was an error somewhere along the way. If there was, he’s given no indication, yet you’ll remain restless until the results are confirmed. 

“Chrollo?” 

“Hm?” 

“Did it work?” 

“It did, love.” 

“Could you, um,” you lick your lips, a motion that draws his attention. “Make something up so I can know for sure?” 

This request amuses him.

“How will you know if I’m being honest to mess around with you or not?” 

At this, you give him a light shove. Given his apparent playfulness, you expected him to move back, but he doesn’t budge an inch. It felt like trying to move a concrete building. 

“Make it an obvious lie, then.” 

“An obvious lie, hm?” He mulls over your suggestion. “Very well. How about this: I don’t want you beneath me.” 

You gape at him, dumbstruck. 

“I find it easy to control my urges around you.” 

He keeps going. 

“I’m unmoved by your beauty…” 

He gently pushes your shoulders until you’re lying down. 

“... Your wit…” 

He hovers above you, tracing the outline of your lips with his pointer finger. 

“... And boundless charm.” 

Chrollo tilts your head up by your chin. “Well? Do you believe me now?” 

Slowly, as if in a daze, you nod. Your heart lurches, the organ beating loud enough to hear in your ears. You feel uncomfortably warm, like your heater’s been cranked to the highest setting. Gradually, the violent joy you expected to accompany your liberation abounds, starting at your chest and overflowing outward. You’re smiling, breathless, your corporeal form barely able to contain the glee. You see your reflection in Chrollo’s eyes. There’s a manic quality to your countenance; you barely recognize yourself. 

You’re free, you’re free, you’re free— 

His lips find yours. Your cognition short circuits, leaving you in a reverie where you can barely understand what’s happening. He handles you so carefully that it’s easy to forget you’re physically trapped. He carries on, either failing to notice your apprehension or disregarding it. 

On some level, you’ve always sensed this underlying attraction. You remained purposefully obtuse. There was too much at stake — jeopardizing your aims for a fling felt counterintuitive. On paper, he’d make for the ideal partner. He’s devilishly handsome, charismatic, and intelligent to a fault. Aside from some dubious morality, you couldn’t ask for a better suitor. 

And still, hesitation prevailed. 

Every now and then, there’d be glimpses of some great, existential threat, beneath the fissures of his porcelain mask. These glimpses gave you pause. You think he could’ve tried harder to hide these damning qualities, yet chose not to. Where’s the fun — the thrill — in always playing nice? You needed his help more than he needed yours. His connections spanned continents, whereas yours were shallow and easy to uproot. 

How many of your convictions would you compromise? 

How far would you let the poison spread to cure another affliction? 

How can you look down on him if you’ve fallen to the same level? 

When he pulls away, you avert your gaze, fearing what stares back. 

“... So you are afraid of me, then.” 

Chrollo lets you wriggle out from underneath him. When your eyes make brief contact, it feels like he’s inspecting you, as if you were a specimen in a petri dish. It isn’t the reaction you’d expect from a rejected man. Nonetheless, you’re on edge and longing for a menial task to occupy yourself with. Recalling the state of the kitchen, you decide that will suffice. 

He remains seated as you wash and dry the implements used to make your tea. 

This uncharacteristic silence unsettles you further. The only audible sound in your apartment is your faucet, the water running over silverware that’s plenty clean. You scrub at it harder, wondering what you should do next. Originally, you intended to thank him for his pivotal role in removing your burden. You never would have made it this far without his assistance. Even with this strange atmosphere, your gratitude remains unwavering. 

You’ll be able to live life like anyone else now. It’s an accomplishment worthy of celebration, regardless of the twists and turns along the way. Maybe he misinterpreted your body language or acted on an impulse. These mistakes can happen when emotions run high. 

Okay, you think, psyching yourself up. This doesn’t have to be weird. I can—

“Have you given much thought over last week’s unpleasantness?” 

Your heart skips a beat and your shoulders droop. 

“I assume you haven’t,” he says. “That’s fair. It must’ve been frightening… I wish I could have spared you such an experience.” 

The appreciation he previously instilled in you desiccates, drop by drop. 

“Will you please get to the point?” 

Under different circumstances, you would’ve been more patient with his preamble, but this is a sore subject. A buried corpse like that shouldn’t be exhumed. His reasoning, though elusive to you now, doesn’t inspire warm sentiments. 

“That incident won’t be the last of its kind.”

You turn around as he approaches, sipping his tea. He leans against the counter and eyes you over the cup’s rim. 

“In truth, we should’ve left hours ago, but I was feeling sentimental.” 

“‘We?’ Chrollo, what are you talking about?” 

“Had it not been for your role in getting my Nen back, Hisoka would’ve killed you,” Chrollo says this so casually that you question if you’re hearing him right. “Now that you’ve done your part, he has a vested interest in doing so.” 

You no longer have a way to verify if he’s telling the truth or not. It’s so stupid, so unfair, that you almost laugh. Instant Replay no longer heeds your call. You surrendered it to a new master, who, before taking it from your willing hands, all but told you he was the worst person you could’ve picked. 

Chrollo continues, “He’s a peculiar case. All he cares about is fighting formidable opponents, and, with my Nen returned, I am one.”

You take a step back.

“That business is between you two. I fail to see how this involves me.” 

“I have preparations to finish before I face him,” Chrollo explains. “He doesn’t feel like waiting any longer. Harming you is an excellent way to speed things along. Even I don’t know what I’d do if you were fatally injured.” 

You shake your head. “I— you’re not serious. There’s just no way. I’m moving past all of this bullshit. Nen, Hatsu, whatever; that has nothing to do with me anymore. I’m done.” 

“I’m sorry, dear.” 

“No, you aren’t!” Your voice raises in pitch, pulled as taut as a bowstring. “You knew, didn’t you? That this would be a problem? Oh, oh, you had to, why else would you have acted all weird when you saw him? Stop looking at me like you care, like you’re sorry, 'cause this is the best-case scenario for you!” 

You pace back and forth, your mind racing. This was a mistake. Walking up to him because you recognized the book in his hands was a mistake. Is he bluffing? And if he is, does it matter? You can’t put up a fight. You don’t think you could even make it to the door. If he was a regular man, you’d have options. You could yell for help, call the cops, and inflict some damage, minor as it may be. All those tactics turn to ash before an oppressive, incomprehensible force like this. 

You snap your head in his direction. “Aren’t you going to say something?” 

“I don’t see how that will help.” 

You prepare to spew vitriol his way, when a dreadful thought shoots through you like a bullet. 

“My family. What about them? Won’t they be in danger too?” 

“They aren’t on his radar.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” Chrollo sets the cup down. “The suffering of your loved ones wouldn’t elicit a reaction from me, so he won’t bother. Targeting you is the wisest option.” 

Words fail you. Is this it? The depravity he kept subdued finally let loose, so dense in its quality that it threatens to suffocate you? All you wanted was a semblance of normalcy. Normal relationships, interactions, and problems. Has the path you’ve treaded brought you further away from this humble aspiration? Or is there still a way, some faint silver lining that you must find and latch onto? 

“What about after?” 

“Hm?” 

“After Hisoka is dealt with,” you clarify, tapping your foot repeatedly. “You’re not going to let him live, are you?” 

“That’s rather dark.” 

“Chrollo,” you implore. 

“No, I won’t,” he confirms. “As for what comes next — I intend to persuade you.” 

You regard him with suspicion. His tone and the implications sink into you like a venomous bite. He exudes quiet confidence, indicating that nothing you’ve said will influence him in any meaningful way. Dread sticks to your stomach, making your body feel heavy. You hug yourself, clenching your upper arms with shaky fingers. Any lingering excitement from earlier has vaporized, leaving behind a profound hollowness. 

“I suppose this can go a few ways,” you murmur. “I could cause as many headaches for you as possible, or, I could be decent enough.” 

“I’m listening.” 

“I’d like to have Instant Replay back,” you say. He quirks an eyebrow. “Just for a bit. What? I’m assuming if you can steal something, you can give it back, right?” 

“You’d be correct. Still, that begs the question; what are you intending to accomplish with this little scheme?” 

“Nothing that’ll inconvenience you in any major way.” 

Chrollo falls silent. You dig your nails into your flesh as the seconds drag on, awaiting his verdict. If he had your ability activated, he should’ve been able to discern your honesty. Then again, he’s aware of the workarounds. To ensure your words wouldn’t register as untrue, you had to remain vague and subjective. What you consider an inconvenience could differ drastically from him. 

“I’m sure I won’t regret this.” 

Your eyes widen. That dissonant timbre is unmistakable, he returned your ability! Filled with newfound resolve, you stride toward him, your eyes blazing. This is your chance. You need to make the most of this opening before it’s gone forever. He could choose not to answer any of your questions, but something tells you he won’t, like it’d injure his pride. You issued him a challenge and he’s intent on meeting it. 

“Did you have anything to do with what happened last week?” 

“I didn’t.” 

“Did Hisoka?” 

“No, he just happened to be observing you from afar.” 

“Why?” 

“For his personal amusement, I’d wager.” 

“He’d really kill me just to… agitate you?”

“It’s in line with his character.” 

You swallow thickly and press on. 

“And if you’re wrong?” 

“Then I’m wrong. Regardless, you’ll be alive and well.” 

“Can you win against him in a fight?” 

“Yes.” 

“And if you somehow lose, what happens next?” 

“My companions will hunt him down and kill him.” 

Now that you’ve gotten your most pressing inquiries out of the way, you decide to wade through dangerous waters. Chrollo likely saw the benefit in assuaging your doubt, these next questions provide him nothing substantial. His willingness to humor you is undoubtedly finite. Keeping this in mind, you consider the possibilities. You may never have a chance like this again. Is there anything that can give you an advantage? You’ll take anything, no matter how small, even if all it offers is an illusion of control. 

Chrollo glances at his watch in a not-so-subtle motion. 

“Who sealed your Nen?” 

“Now this is more what I expected,” he hums. His eyes take on a bright, unsettling shade. “An individual with a longstanding grudge. Your paths will not cross, I suggest adopting another plan of attack.” 

He saw right through you. You knew it was a long shot, but collaborating with this mysterious figure would have proven advantageous. They must be powerful in their own right to have bested Chrollo. Should you try pressing for more information? Then again, Chrollo doesn’t seem keen on sharing more, much to your chagrin. 

What does that leave you with…?

“How do you plan on ‘persuading’ me?” 

“You’re better off not knowing until we get to that point.” 

You frown. If that didn’t register as a lie, it must be what he genuinely believes. Curiosity plagues you, dredging up anxiety. You have but a few grains of sand left in the hourglass remaining. It’s suspended midair, poised to drop at the most ill-timed moment. The approach of the end is worse than its inevitable arrival. You now have the chance to hasten its onset, at the risk of being debilitated by the impact. What lows would he resort to? Are you actually better off remaining ignorant?

“Alright, let’s—” 

“Does it hurt to know I’ll never love you?” 

Up until this point, he’s fired back with a near instant response. This time, however, he hesitates, the invasive nature of the inquiry necessitating careful thought. You finally found an effective ‘attack.’ It’s too late to do you any lasting good, but you greedily devour it nonetheless. When dealing with a person of Chrollo’s caliber, it’s easy to forget he possesses the same human qualities you do. You might be unable to stop his heart from beating, but you can make the organ ache. 

“I can live with it, dear.” 

You pinch your eyebrows together, thrown off by his voice’s clarity. Is the knowledge that inconsequential to him? Have you misjudged his attachment? While considering this, you flex your fingers, concentrating your aura there. You can’t repeat his words back since Instant Replay wasn’t recording, but you still decide to conjure it. You’ll record what remains of this conversation to ensure you don’t miss anything else. 

The flow of your aura halts at your wrist, refusing to take form. Frowning, you try again, only to realize he must have reclaimed your ability. 

When did that happen? Was it before or after his response? 

Chrollo says your name, regaining your attention. “I fulfilled my end of the bargain. Will you do the same?” 

After playing the role of the interrogator, you’re back to being an inmate. You meant what you said — when you said it, that is. This is yet another loophole to subvert Instant Replay. What’s true to you in one instant can change in the next. It’s frightening how fast he’s learned these nuances that took you years to test and discover. He’s already making the most of your ability, turning what was a thorn in your side into a full-fledged dagger. 

“What choice do I have?” 

“There’s always a choice,” Chrollo asserts. “You just have a habit of making the wrong ones.” 

A delirious laugh leaves your lips. 

"... I suppose you're right."

[putschki1969]

Let's address THAT blog

Many of you might have noticed a few blog posts being shared on social media relating to the most recent Kalafina reunion drama. I've had a lot of people send links to me asking for my opinion on the matter so I thought I'd briefly talk about the whole thing myself. For those who don't know, a few days ago, following the release of the Nikkan Sports article and the subsequent official announcements about the upcoming Kalafina Anniversary Live, a Livedoor blog popped up out of nowhere titled "FictionJunction & Kalafina Behind the Scenes". Currently, there are three main blog posts available discussing a variety of topics, namely

① The truth behind Kajiura Yuki's departure from the agency ② The truth behind Kalafina's split and hiatus ③ The activities of the members and Kajiura after Kalafina's hiatus ④ The circumstances that led to Kalafina's reunion and the truth behind Kajiura's anger ⑤ Rights related to Kalafina

The contents of ① and ② are discussed in the first blog post, the second blog post is focusing on the contents of ③ and ④, and the details of ⑤ are presented in the third blog post.

UPDATE: As of October 8, the blog seems to have been deleted so the above links no longer work. If you ask me, this is even more proof that the author cannot be trusted. Thankfully, there are internet archives so nothing has been lost. Archived Post 1 Archived Post 2 Archived Post 3

I am not planning to dissect every little detail of this very long essay but I would like to provide some important context that will surely put things into perspective for many readers. Without further ado, let's get to it〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

The person who runs the aforementioned blog is the same person behind the sketchy FJS YouTube Channel that uploaded the supposedly unreleased "sprinter" audio. I talked extensively about the matter in THIS as well as THIS post and together with some fellow fans, we were able to debunk that account's claim of authenticity. In an ASK from a couple of days ago, someone actually told me that they had seen weird statements in that account's YouTube Community referring to an extensive plan to summarise all the behind the scenes info of the Yuki Kajiura/Kalafina debacle. Looks like that plan has come to fruition in the past few days because we now have those three ultra-long blog posts floating around all across Twitter.

I'm gonna reiterate what I said in my response to the ASK above. This person is without a doubt a knowledgeable fan. I reckon that they are much more obsessed than a majority of fandom (including little old me) so they've surely memorised/internalised every word written or said on social media platforms, every pamphlet and FC bulletin interview, every tabloid news article, and every other notable statement that has ever been uttered by the involved parties. When it comes to information that has been shared publicly, I doubt there are many casual or even long-term fans who can claim to have such a thorough understanding of all the "facts" as this person does, especially considering that most of the relevant events have taken place over the course of several years. Thanks to the huge amounts of accumulated knowledge, this person is able to make a solid case for themselves, at face value, everything they write sounds legit and professional.

But here is the big issue. They are first and foremost an imposter aiming for attention and clout. How do I know this? Let me explain! Not only did they initially claim to be an "Official FJS" account on YouTube, they also pretended (and are still pretending) to have access to previously restricted content, such as live audio from Sony. None of those things are true of course. The "official" label was removed from the account name and handle rather quickly once people paid closer attention and started questioning the legitimacy of the account and everything it claimed to offer. As mentioned above, the seemingly exclusive "sprinter" recording turned out to be totally fake (although this person is still pretending it is legit).

With their brand new Livedoor blog, this person is going even further. They are claiming to be an "industry insider", someone who has "formerly been affiliated" with Yuki Kajiura and Kalafina. I call bullshit! Based on what we know from their YouTube activities, we have absolutely no reason to believe this person is telling the truth in this matter. That short, little intro in every single blog post is proof enough that everything that follows cannot and should not be taken too seriously. By starting out your essay with a phrase like "whether you believe it or not is up to you" you are basically diminishing the credibility of your work. The author is simply covering their back with the inclusion of this clause because they are very much aware that they are lying and masquerading as someone else. In this first paragraph, there is also talk of "nothing but facts" being included in the essay. Hardly! While I do actually believe that the basic framework is made up of "facts" that have been gathered through a lot of research referring mostly to primary sources (i.e. statements made by the involved people themselves via different media outlets), there is also a frighteningly heavy reliance on information that has only ever been published in tabloid articles so in my opinion, it is not fully trustworthy (particularly true for some of the things discussed in part ① of the essay relating to the management drama that caused YK's departure). Also, this person has the unfortunate tendency to embellish specific situations with their own little headcanons, resulting in an overly dramatic portrayal of things. This not only serves to victimise/infantalises certain involved parties (especially in the case of Keiko), it also leads to a subtle vilification of other involved parties (particularly affecting Wakana). Needless to say, this is not something I approve of because it only creates more confusion and drama among fans.

All right, this is pretty much the gist of the context I wanted to provide for you. I'm not telling you to not read those three blog posts, quite the contrary actually, go ahead and read them, put them through Google Translate if you have to, you should be fine with that. You will get a more or less solid overview of everything that has happened in the past few years (and if you've followed my blog diligently, you'll find that a lot of the things stated in the essay will align with what I've shared). The facts and timeline mostly check out so you can rest assured that you are not being fed straight-up lies (with the exception of the author's background of course). But please, do me a favour and take everything you read in there with a huge grain of salt! This person isn't an insider and they are not privy to any "exclusive" information. They are solely relying on information that is readily available online or in various publications. Also, be aware that the author is actively trying to deceive us by pretending to be someone they are most definitely not. This alone should be cause for suspicion.

I'm not sure what is prompting this person to make such claims. They could just as well admit to being an obsessed fan who has dedicated their whole life to knowing every single detail about their idol and who would even go as far as to create/come up with "new" content/information to appeal to fellow fans. By simply acknowledging that fact, this person would instantly appear to be more authentic. I mean, I know what I am talking about because I myself am very open about those things. I am aware that I am much more invested in Kalafina than your run-of-the-mill casual fan, hence, I have amassed a lot more knowledge than most other people in this fandom. But even if you are this level of hyperfixated and obsessed, it still doesn't give you the right to play pretend. Once fans start to claim that they've some sort of affiliation to their idols which gives them access to insider information, you'll know that in 99,9% of cases, they've become delusional. They get off on being seen as "special" and they know that most casual fans will not fact-check anything they say so they can just continue to expand their little fantasy. This way, they will gain the attention and validation they so desperately seek.

[tobi-smp]

well ! if I'm posting about my other interests ! have a little how-to guide for getting into marble hornets:

firstly, what is it.

that's an answer in two parts! it's a foundational indie horror web series on youtube that was beloved in its time for its mystery, atmosphere, and editing (pioneering or popularizing many of the techniques that you'll see more commonly now in the analogue horror genre, just with the budget of college students in 2009).

and it's remembered fondly Now for its fascinating representation of mental health (in how it subverts the harmful ways that horror tends to depict more stigmatized disorders, but Also in how it depicts mental and physical health in general), and the underlying queer themes that While subtext at the time have ultimately been confirmed as intentional as one co creators (and actor for the main character) has come out as bisexual!

it is Also a wildly creative and beautiful comic series. written solely by troy wagner (the aforementioned co-creator) and illustrated by jackie reynolds (a long time fan of the series and insanely talented illustrator). taking place after the events of the webseries, the comics take full advantage of this new visual medium to express the horror, atmosphere, and emotions of the series in a more visceral way. and being self published they're free to make whatever they'd like

done entirely in water color and ink, it builds beautifully on what was laid down with the original series and carves out its own identity and legacy.

it's also just very lovely seeing queer creators who were once writing subtext be able to just. Be Open about it. both about themselves and their characters. it's a horror story that happens to have queer characters mind, but it's just ! nice.

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now ! being internet horror that's sat in that weird space between args and analogue horror (nightmind would call it Unfiction, but unfortunately that term hasn't caught on as much as I'd have liked) it's not as simple to get into as just like, Watching A Show.

that's not to say you Can't just watch it, but rather I have ways to help you get more out of it :>

1: The full chronological playlist for the marble hornets web series, including the totheark replies: [Link]

this is exactly what it says on the tin ! the entire series in order, I've even included the dvd extras at the end of each season !

two notes: firstly, the full series is captioned, and I think they're very nice captions! and secondly, there's a lot of loud noises in the series, which the captions help mitigate a bit. this is due in part to the nature of the kind of horror it is (though it doesn't have straight up jumpscares), but Also because troy wagner was HoH at the time he was doing the audio editing for the series.

there's significantly fewer issues with the audio as the series goes on (troy actually got surgery for his hearing!) but for the most part it's fine just keeping it Somewhat lower. except entry five. entry five is so very loud <3

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2: The in-character twitter for jay merrick (the main character of marble hornets): [Link]

much like the youtube channel is presented as being ran by the main character/pov character of the series (jay merrick), the twitter was created to run along-side the main series! it mostly exists to give us further insight into jay's mental state and personal life that you don't get in the main series, especially early on!

it's a little cumbersome nowadays, especially since twitter doesn't Like being archival. but you kind of just have to scroll all the way to the bottom to when the twitter was created and scroll up to follow along jlkfasdjlkfdas

this is made a Little more difficult because the account got hacked in 2020 and reinstated 2021, so all of the dates are wrong now. but the account always posted when new entries were uploaded so it's easy to watch an entry, check what was posted after it was uploaded, and then see the link for the next entry and know to stop until you've watched.

you don't Have to do it this way, but I think it's the way to get the most out of it!

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3: All of the translated codes for totheark/tta listed in order: [Link]

back in the day, youtube allowed you to make Video Replies, which would be displayed Under whatever video you were responding to! this feature was ultimately removed because of the tendency to do make clickbait in response to whatever was currently popular, but it was Wonderful in this instance !

the youtube channel and twitter were presented as in character, and they took advantage of this by having a second channel created (named totheark) start Replying to the entries as they were uploaded. these videos were highly edited and contained codes and secrets that were meant as messages to the main character (and the audience)!

there was a dedicated community for code breaking throughout the show's entire life, and this list here goes through every one! I like this one in particular because it Also gives us information on How the codes were broken, in a digestible way.

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4: Nightmind's marble hornets explained series: [Link]

this is definitely Optional. it's obviously not official media, is outdated now that the comics have started, and I'd say was flawed even at its release. (it's not a spoiler if nobody knows what I'm talking about, so I'll say now that I'm not a fan of his theory with masky, and the seth theory is very famously silly).

BUT! I Do think it's a very good resource when it comes to putting certain crucial things together. as the whole point of the series is that it's a Mystery. you see nearly everything out of order and you're intentionally limited in what you know about characters and their motivations. this series works as a good jumping off point in that it helps to put things into Context and change your perspective on certain events and character With the benefit of said context!

like I said, it's not Required, it might just be helpful! a starting point to help chew on things once you've watched the web series in full for the first time.

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Comics!: [Link]

comics ! they're all available on troy wagner's personal website! (along with other goodies that are periodically available!) you can buy them either physically Or digitally ! personally I'd recommend digital, as it's cheaper, instantly available, and the digital extras are wonderful!

they come with the script for the comics, a commentary version (including comments from troy and jackie on every page), and other extras like backgrounds, behind the scenes sketches, character art, etc!

I would very much so suggest buying the comics if you're interested. this is an indie project being ran and funded by two people (and again! there's other goodies in the store that are worth looking at). buttttttt, my friends may dm me <3

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Extras! [Extras]

Anniversary streams [Link] on a few different anniversaries for the series several of the creators have done streams rewatching the series and reacting to it live ! this is a playlist where I've collected all of the instances that I could find :>

I Also included the dvd commentary here ! the format is different, but it's a similar concept so, why not ljkfsdajklfasd

.

Interviews, QnA's, and con appearances: [Link] exactly what it sounds like !

I was, at one point, overtaken by some kind of madness and hunted down for every single Person Records Marble Hornets Creators Talking About Marble Hornets thing I could find, and then attempted to put it in order. this is just ! for fun. I do so adore it though, I have one con panel that was recorded on someone's 3ds.

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My silly posts:

some analysis posts I've main on my main account since having watched the series ! these all contain spoilers so I wouldn't suggest watching them until you've seen the show (though I Would suggest reading them if you do choose to watch the explained series)

this is my post going into what I think masky is supposed to be/represent, and why it's Important [Link] which I think pairs nicely with this post by tim sutton (one of marble hornet's actors) [Link]

my discussions on jay's mental health and behavior and how they're often misunderstood (which won't necessarily be needed if you've read through his twitter jlkfasdlkjafds) [Link 1, Link 2]

confirmation that jay is canonically queer :> [Link]

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Social Media

Social media for various marble hornets creatives !

Troy wagner (co-creator, actor for jay): Tumblr [Link] Twitter [Link] Instagram [Link]

Jackie Reynolds (main artist for the comics): Tumblr [Link] Twitter [Link] Instagram [Link] Linktree [Link]

Tim Sutton (actor for tim (I know)): Tumblr (inactive): [Link] Twitter: [Link]

Joseph DeLage (co-creator, actor for alex): Twitter [Link]

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and here's art jackie drew of masky marble hornets punching richard spencer in the face <3

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Note: This is a bit of a ramble only tangential to FE, sorry if it is too long!

So, while my first FE was Blazing Sword, and it is still my favorite, Echoes SoV has a weird personal link to me.

I didn't really play it on release, even though I had a 3DS, I had only played the GBA trilogy and Awakening at that point. I'm from a South American country and official games (specially Physical releases) are really really expensive, so I used to buy from the Canadian Eshop, because it was considerably cheaper due to conversion shenanigans.

Echoes was the first time I bought a physical release on launch day, but I didn't buy it for myself, it was a present for my then-girlfriend that I've saved for months to buy. She is admittedly a much more hardcore FE fan than I am (She prefers the higher difficulties and did a lot of challenge runs, loved the SNES ones, and played Tear Ring Saga too, etc. ), so I thought it would be a nice 6-months-ish dating anniversary present.

She loved it, and honestly it was the only gift I gave her that she really cared about! Truth be told, our whole relationship was a bit of a mess (We were both stupid teenagers, she had depression, it was mostly a one-sided attraction thing for me, she was a bit verbally abusive with me because of untreated trauma and family issues, etc.)

Actually, to say that she loved was a severe understatement, she adored it above all else, she played the game religiously, and kept nerding out about it to me. It was a few of the experiences I had with her that I saw her eyes shine with unbridled joy, honestly those days I watched her spending playing on her 3DS were some of the best we had, and if I dare to be honest with myself, some of the best of my life.

While I didn't play the game, I watched most of her gameplay over her shoulder while I cooked real food (she subsided on Junk food & energy drinks, had anorexia and negligent parents) for her and hanged around in her house when skipping classes. So the audio and characters are burned into my memories as a little lovely part of my love for her.

This year, due to some factors I rather not go into much details, I finally gave in and un-dusted my old 3DS, Hacked it and downloaded FE Echoes. I finished it a little more than a month ago, and I fucking bawled at the credits song. This experience, not only the game, but using this as a mental link to myself of so many years ago, was the first time I felt something true in the last years. The themes and motifs of this game are utterly unparalleled to me. The characters, maps, songs! I'll love them all forever, for they are the last piece of her that lives on in my heart!

It's been 7 years since we broke up and she moved away, we haven't talked since, and I pray every day that she has found something or someone that brings her as much joy as this game brought us both, first her, and now me.

Again, sorry for the ramble, but I wanted to share this with someone! May you all have a great day!

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[dervampireprince]

ASMR | Elisabeth das Musical - Der Tod x Listener SFW Death Becomes Entranced And Seduces A Lonely Prince

[M4M/GF4M] [Prince! Listener] [Seduction] [Manipulation] [Kissing - no character death, lore here is Death's kisses can kill if it's 'your time' but if it's not they don't but they're still cold and cause temporary frostbite-like symptoms] [TW implies the listener is depressed and has been experiencing suicidal ideation, Death at points advises the listener to kiss him which would kill them, please skip this audio if you think these issues could affect or trigger you and if you are affected by these issues please seek help and contact hotlines in your country. This audio is fictional, Death's attempts to be a voice of suicidal ideation should not be taken seriously nor applied to real life.] 

I've been wanting to make this audio for so long. While I've left it ambiguous enough to be enjoyed as an original audio, this character is actually from my favourite musical 'Elisabeth das Musical'. It's a German-language dark queer historical romance where Death (Der Tod) is drawn to those who think about him, in particular it follows the life of Elisabeth, Empress of Austria, and her son Rudolf. The musical does deal with serious mental health topics and some historical events from that time including the rise of fascism so please know that going in, but if you think you can handle such topics then I couldn't recommend the musical enough. 

The original 1992 Vienna production is on Youtube with English subtitles, that is my favourite production and means a lot to me as Uwe Kroger as Death is just... perfection to me, very much gender envy and has been a big influence on me and helped me with accepting myself and my gender expression, and his characterisation of Death as this genderfluid, pansexual otherworldly being is just beautiful. And if you enjoy then I'd also recommend the 2005 Vienna production which is also on Youtube with English subtitles mostly for the few extra added song and Serkan Kaya's performance as Lucheni.

For those of you in my Patreon Discord server, I streamed this musical last Sunday in there for you guys and it finally felt like the perfect time to bring this audio to life. And if Kronprinz is still around, I know you were requesting a Der Tod audio for a long time and I hope you're happy with this one. The listener in this audio series takes the place of Rudolf, but you don't need to know anything about the musical to understand these audios. I chose to present them more like my original royalty series audios as Elisabeth das Musical is not very well known outside of mainland Europe and Japan, so I hoped by framing it this way with a photograph of myself cosplaying Death from a couple years ago would entice more people who aren't familiar with the musical. 

I love this musical so much, European musicals in general are my biggest interest and if you go searching for them it wont be long until you find my sfw account @emptymasks posting too much about them. If you're interested in learning more I have some masterlists and info posts pinned on my emptymasks Tumblr, but also as part of my subathon rewards I am doing a stream on my Twitch explaining about infodumping about European musicals and I've been working on some video essays for years that I hope to get finished this year that will be up on my emptymasks Youtube channel. I also run @europeanmusicals . If any mutuals or followers from my main or side blogs finds this... well hello there, I find myself nervous to drop this in the euro musical tags, as if people are going to find this format of fanwork weird but well... I had fun, I hope you guys are nice about this (nice doesn't mean you have to like it, but please don't be mean about it if you just don't enjoy asmr or audio content).

Something something if I had a nickel for every time Prince voiced a personification of Death from different fandoms I'd have three nickels.

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Old public spicy audios on sound gasm (link in pinned post). 2 Exclusive spicy audios on Patreon every month. I also stream on Twitch every week @ dervampireprince . [minors + ageless blogs dni. this blog is for 18+ only.] [do not repost/reupload/edit any of my content]

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Someone recently claimed that the new Davies era of doctor who has no more wokism* than the show used to.

Now, maybe I've just changed in the past few decades, but from what I've heard of the 60th anniversary specials it does seem a tad more concentrated. Cherry-picking SPOILERS, sweeties.

- Donna got married offscreen. To what I can only assume is the last black cab driver in London.

- Her kid is trans. Specifically, non-binary, female presenting, says the wiki.** - In the next episode, we learn the Doctor is gay/bi when he thinks Sir Isaac Newton is hot. I'd smugly say this bit has no real relevance, but...the actual scene does carry the episode theme of accidentally changing reality. It's just the queer bit that seems tacked on. Though it does carry forward themes from 10s era. - Sir Zack himself is played by a half-Indian actor. It's not exactly hard to tell. I'm assuming they're running on Bridgerton logic. https://twitter.com/frozenaesthetic/status/1731332492282429950 - This episode is basically just Donna and the Doc exploring a weird location, and running into monsters, who happen to look like them. It would be a bottle episode, except for the large vfx budget. And yet ol' Rusty somehow managed to awkwardly wedge in an  progressive issue. - In the next episode, the villain explains how he's just exploiting the divisions that already exist in human society, including cancel culture. - no wait he's got a point. Jpg - This is ironic, given that Davies and/or his broadcasting house masters are pretty blatantly on the team that a) coined the word,  b) cancels people the most often, and c) defends the idea of Internet lynch mobs*** (***as long as they're left wing. If not, they're *ist "trolls", even if they're just complaining about the latest sacred cow.) Maybe the Davies was criticizing his own team. * Because the Toymaker was kind of racist back in the day (white dude dressed like a stereotypical Chinese dude), Davies made the new version a bit racist "as a callback to his original, problematic depiction back in 1966." - TVtropes, ref. DW Unleashed. On the other hand, the Toymaker also mocks and dresses as several other cultural archetypes. All the ones I've seen were white European ones. He just does this to everyone, apparently. - Toymaker also weaponizes the Spice Girls hit "Spice Up Your Life". No, I will not explain. Though I will note that a line about the "Yellow man in Timbuktu" was apparently drowned out in the episode. Probably for being a tad spicy. - One new UNIT character is a lady in a wheelchair. When the new Tardis - no, I will not explain - has a wheelchair ramp, she happily points it out. Which makes me wonder why the blue box would be so limited, considering it often deals with alien species. - Also, the same actress played a disabled Companion in the Big Finish audio dramas. I'm not sure why it was considered essential to do so in an entirely audio format, but there have been controversies over this sort of thing before (EG Artie on Glee, various racial voice acting controversies). - At this point, casting Ncuti Gatwa as 15 doesn't even register. Not really a blip on my radar. Black Doc? Whatevs. His sonic screwdriver has Rwandan words on it? So? I go to church with lots of Africans. Heck, I'm a black immigrant to ol' Blighty myself, just from the other side of the pond. Ncuti is, chronologically speaking, more British than I am. - Though given that he's Rwandan-Scottish, there may be some debate on the "British" part. - Wikipedia says the actor is pretty left-wing, but the actor seems good so far, so I'm willing to give him a sha-

Oh, come ON!

Maybe the original person speaking was comparing it to the Chibnall “history has always been a whitewash” era, which had a character who was a paper thin Trump satire. A tad ironic, when the whole point of bringing Davies, Tennant, and Tate back is to play on nostalgia.

*Tangent: that word was apparently voted  the most annoying words in English. Which is kind of hilarious if you know that it was originally created to self-describe certain progressives. And the "you can't even define that word!" meme was almost certainly ripped off from the right wing "what is a woman?" Meme. ** This is apparently because she's part Time Lord, through Donna. It seems a tad interesting to me that a few works featuring non binary characters happen to make them enby due to some sort of supernatural (Omniscient Reader) or sci-fi (SW Squadrons) influence which the vast majority of IRL enbies don't have. ...As far as I know.

[alexissara]

Dark Deity 2 Demo Impressions

Firsty, I’ll talk the bugs I experienced so fi the devs want to ignore my critique from any point they can get to the things that probably should be fixed and aren’t subjective to me. I experienced a bug where our mage jagen man was bounced between two different units infinitely stopping the game from being played with no way to move forward, that is a huge one, for any bug that should be fixed first and foremost it was on chapter 3 mid map right above one of the mana points but he didn’t gather it that turn, he was the last to act. Our Indigenous healer had her hair on her left most promotion glitching any time I looked at it, it didn’t seem like an intentional sprite choice. I am not sure if it was a bug or a feature but after buffing my first weapon it seemed like I lost all the other potential buff options, I think it might be a design choice and the thing could upgrade the weapon in any of those ways but it wasn’t totally clear to me. I had a really weird audio getting super fucky glitch but I can’t really say if it was the game or my CPU acting up so mentioning it only to note if it someone has a more particular audio bug it might have been that. This is a demo, glitches happen but presented them up here at the top since that is part of the stated goals of releasing this demo.  The game’s writing is an improvement over the original, while I was originally concerned about the writing of the main protagonist of this game given she was placed behind her NPC father in it’s promotional art [which has now been corrected, great, brilliant improvement] she ended up being handled fairly alright in the demo. She unfortunately doesn’t get to shine nearly as brightly as maybe our main character should being the “hard ass” of the crew with a big cast around her from the very first map. Generally the women get far less to say in this demo then the men with one being a silent type and the other being a later addition and not as plot important. Two of the girls get a sweet scene alone but sadly don’t have a bond support. Which is another issue at the start of the demo which is women don’t hve bounds with other women yet. The siblings father is also a person of great importance in the plot where their mother is their mother and their uncles sister, defined in her relationship as a mother and sister. None of these is really a huge issue for chapter 4 of a big game that can certainly make room for have tons of women stand out and give more room for our main character and other women in the party to shine. It’s impossible to say what the game is trying to say about the world of anything from 4 chapters, I didn’t really get a strong hook especially since the place where maybe the game would ascribe it’s protagonist the most values is a place where we get to make a choice between three things and not Gwyn not really since we make the call.  

My main concern when I play games is looking for Sapphic Representation, sadly there was no hints of any sapphic representation at all in this demo which is a shame since while I didn’t love the writing there was a sapphic pairing in the original and that is what got me to buy the game. There isn’t any romantic content yet, we know a man and woman were together and produced children but there isn’t like anything for me to base anything on. However, there is bounds between men and women on the table right now and men and men but not so much the case for women to even get to like have more dialog into their friendships.I would love for the developers to just tell me what’s up but I suspect I would not get a clear answer. 

Presentation wise we can split it between UX/Menu and characters and the ways their presented.  Starting with characters I have to say that the voice acting is really solid, very good job to the performers and I really appreciate full VA from an accessibility perspective too. I think the designs as it stands are hit and miss. The women we have minus Gwyn so far feel very anime wife energy, a design that feels kinda showy in a way that doesn’t inform the character and is there just for the viewers viewing pleasure. Then Gwyn has her own issue which is she loses the feeling of being a lord in her sprites right away due to promotion. She goes from having a unique sprite that is hers and only hers to having a generic class sprite which automatically makes her feel less like the protagonist and more like one more of the canon fodder. The promotion system isn’t something that really can be changed here this late into a games dev cycle so really it’s just a thing if someone likes they’ll enjoy and if your me and dislike that characters look so similar we’ll just have to cope. I do think though that Gwyn herself should have at least one stand out unique class at each tier to feel like I am not taking her from iconic to generic by map 3. Also the way the story opens being presented on a big fleet of stairs was a pretty boring staring location and it was just big empty space, it made the game look cheap. The indigenous elements of Cassandra’s outfit do not pass my vibe test and feel kinda like stereotypical without being rooted in culture but that's a vibe.  I really liked Saxons design though, he looks really cool. 

Then the UX and menu design, it just feels very cluttered, being thrown into the base with so many mechanics to handle right away at chapter 3 felt like too much and just having menu tutorials it felt like I was being thrown far into the deep end for a game I didn’t grasp fully. Maybe gating off some content or a more hand holdly tutorial you can skip with VA that goes over each of the things, either one might make the base less overwhelming. In general menus though feel very cluttered, when you beat a map your presented with tons of data and it’s all just kinda hard to muddle over and maybe should be optional menus rather than thrown in your face.I am sure the deep end is satisfying but as it stands it felt like a lot to be given and I wasn’t particularly excited to be presented with the huge plate of information even if I could mostly ignore it. What couldn’t really be ignored is I did not understand what some things did like on class promotions there was just keywords I couldn’t get explained and I think there needs to be a way to see those keywords explained easier directly from where I might be looking at said keywords. 

Gameplay wise, I felt like the maps were fairly fun, I played on easy because I like to play on easy and I felt like I was engaged, I could play tactically and think about things but it wasn’t hard. It was a good easy mode, it didn’t me me totally turn my brain off especially cuz the side objectives but I had lots of room to basically play my preferred way which it to as much as possible focus on the women in my party. The keywords once again stand out here as things I Just don’t understand and don’t know the value of so I had to make plays based on vibes of a key word. Also promoting into classes felt weird and bad because I was suppose to be gaining power but I’d lose significant amounts of stats on some promos and I didn’t understand the contexts in which I could use these classes or what these things would bring to the table, it made an moment of excitement and empowerment feel more like a “well these all are probably good but none of them seem like the best thing and I don’t know the characters well enough to pick base on personality so ummm…here I like this one skill I guess.”  So while I enjoyed the in map experience of the game I think there was a lot of room to improve things even within the particularities of the existing systems. 

If I hear there is sapphic representation in the game I will pick it up, there is enough here on the bones that even if I deal with more bugs or little design choices I don’t like I will probably enjoy the game enough to be worth whatever the MSRP is or at least a steam sale price. I think there is the bones of a great game here not just a good one but I can also see where it might go around the other way and end up being a game I just didn’t like. I hope it ends up as one of my favorite games of 2025, i would love that, so hopefully my feedback is useful in some way shape or form.

[rottenbrainstuff]

Love & Deepspace Caleb storyline thoughts:

Holy shit so much to get through. Main story updates, free myth chapters, new cards, man.

Yandere is typically not my jam at allllll, but similar to what they did with Sylus, they've taken the standard trope and really expanded on it and made it quite interesting here. I'm really quite impressed with this game. I haven't played a lot of recent otome games, I admit. The ones I used to play were very old, very simple, very expensive, and pretty poorly written. It's so crazy to me to go from that to everything they're doing here.

I guess that's why I get so incredibly salty about people whining about what content they feel should be in the game, and especially the folks absolutely losing their shit over baby's first yandere, even to the point where it was making me upset - like, all these young kids with these incredibly conservative talking points who don't even realize it, because they use therapyspeak to make it sound woke(tm) - but... when I think back, it really is nothing new at all I guess. People go insane when presented with moral ambiguity and dark topics. Shit, some people can't even get their brains around goddamned children's cartoons. It gives me flashbacks to the reylo antis who told us we were degenerates for enjoying an enemies-to-lovers trope, gives me flashbacks to all the nasty Steven Universe discourse. I just wish they weren't so goddamned loud, I guess. I try to look around in the tags cause I want to see fans sharing thoughts, and I see some of the stalest discourse. If you don't like something, great, awesome, I do not give a shit. But no one cares about or wants to hear your moral judgement.

One last thought - I have seen an awful lot of discussion about what age groups this game is appropriate for, and some extremely wild things being said. Look, the bottom line is, the age ratings games have in the app stores are not made up on a whim. They are based on rules that outline what types of content will get what rating. If you take issue with how the ratings system that gets applied to ALL GAMES works, that is a totally separate discussion that you are free to begin somewhere else. Why are you clogging up the tags of this game specifically? Go take it up with the app stores.

Anyway, here's some thoughts.

....I'm getting a vibe, and I sincerely hope I'm wrong, that a lot of fans don't understand the symbolism behind apples and why it's Caleb's motif. I mean. It's a biblical reference, representing forbidden knowledge, and original sin. The fact that Caleb's story also has a dude with a... weird snake thing going on could arguably be related as well. Maybe. I... I hope you knew that. It's an extremely classic reference. This is why it's so important to learn, and read, and always be curious, and yes especially about things that are old and dry and boring. It creates this broader, richer appreciation of things, like adding extra colours to a limited colour palette. That one card (that I don’t have yet) that has a clip of the two of them about to bite into the apple together… holy shit.

Ooooof, guys, oof. Usually I try not to be an asshole about the english dub of things, but in this case, because it's AI (yes it is, please see my older post where I went over this in detail) I don't feel quite as bad in saying, ugh. Caleb's english voice. It's so bad, you guys. The voice they picked does an ok job as the teasing older brother in the very first intro chapters, but UFFF is it ever poorly equipped to do the sterner stuff. Please, if you only play the english, do yourself a big big favour and give the japanese audio a try (can't speak for the other languages cause I haven't played them). The japanese VA is great. He's done a lot of voice work as side characters but is Tuxedo Mask in that Sailor Moon Crystal series, so there's that. I've seen lots of people mention that they gave it a try and liked the japanese voice a lot better, please please check it out. Check it out just to prove me wrong! Fuck you, I like the english voice, it’s the best, well great! Listen to the japanese just to be able to tell me how stupid I am, then.

Anyways, because I am playing the japanese audio, I have noticed something that amuses me - the english translation has completely scrubbed every mention that they are adopted siblings. I mean obviously it can't remove the actual plot, but what I mean is, in the japanese audio MC is constantly referring to Caleb as her brother, whereas in the subtitles, it gets changed to "my childhood friend", "that guy", "that man", "he", etc. Caleb also sometimes refers to MC as his younger sister, which gets changed to "she". It is so DESPERATELY trying to understate their relationship. And it's funny, even with this sanitization of the translation, people still get weird about it. We truly are a very fragile culture, aren't we.

(another translation note - during the interrogation, after one of MC's responses, Caleb says "smart move" in english, but in japanese he says "good girl" instead, which I feel the fans would have preferred - odd choice there.

Caleb's story and character are a lot more interesting than I thought they'd be, and kudos to Infold for making a yandere character that I actually understand and even enjoy without my skin crawling. I gave it all an honest shot but it seems Sylus is still my ride-or-die. The monster that's tame ONLY for the main character is so specifically and utterly my jam. But! I support the Caleb girlies. Enjoy!

I am so, SO intrigued by the "coming soon" that remains at the bottom of the character list. Who on EARTH could that be??? There's no one left from the intro chapters who got cinematic animation but no romanceable character yet, and Infold has really covered all the basics now when it comes to what otome game stock characters are left.

I think back to all the old games I played, and really I feel like the only character who is missing is the younger childhood friend, who knew the MC for a long time but was never taken seriously as a viable romantic interest, sometimes because the relationship was so strictly platonic, sometimes because the character never saw the MC again, or sometimes because there is memory loss fuckery. This character is younger than the MC, or at least, younger than all the other guys, and usually their plot involves wanting to be taken seriously and trying to show the MC that they measure up, and (sometimes) make her remember how they knew each other. But I mean. We already have two childhood friends, and we have memory fuckery with every character's story, I don't think there's really any room for this character now.

Some folks have said maybe it would be one of the secondary characters from one of the guy's plots, like Dr Greyson or Thomas or whatever. I DID play a game once where each romance option also had a kind of friend character, and once the main characters were all introduced, they made kind of a special bonus where you could romance those friends if you wanted. The secondary characters in this game ARE suspiciously attractive, so who knows. My gosh though wtf, that would be so many characters in the wish pool. I wouldn't like that. Would it be a separate pool? How many characters does Infold typically add to their games? If it’s a large amount, how do they manage it? Man, I have so many questions.

(it would be neat if it was one of the girl characters - like Jenna - but I don't have any hope that will ever happen)

Maybe the last one will be some totally weird off the wall character, an alien emissary straight from Philos or something. It's definitely intriguing.

Did you guys notice that that bulletin info post thing (that you might have missed, because I never read them myself, usually) that came out with the period tracker is more informative than anything I was ever taught in sex ed class?

Anyways. Phew! So many updates. Caleb is a super cool take on the yandere trope, too bad I am absolutely married to my tame monster. This game is insane. I'm so happy it was recommended to me.

[humanmorph]

C/W (01-05) thoughts

Finished the first C/W arc + first faction game (which really took me a while. I'm blaming PALISADE and also the bad weather and ALSO getting obsessed with finishing a bigass drawing in 2 weeks)!

I've said this in a different post already when I had just started listening, but I had like, way lower expectations on this, which seems silly in hindsight. I think I just have a tougher time relistening to podcasts (it's not an issue with rereading books or rewatching movies, really), and often stop about halfway... But it's just really fun to look at C/W again having listened to the rest of the Divine Cycle (and also the other seasons, because it's fun to look at the different player characters throughout). And like. They've gotten better at this over the years so by comparison C/W is 'worse' but it's still fucking good. When it hits it hits, and it honestly hasn't even really started hitting yet (though there's some good moments already for sure. Mako buying a bunch of robots was exactly as funny as I remembered it being)! I'm pretty much just excited for everything, but the Kingdom Game expecially. Something else I'm enjoying (and he'll always continue to do this, but it's so Present in C/W) is how Austin describes scenes. He uses film making language SO much (Counter/WEIGHT is an anime, right)! It's good stuff. I'm trying to not get too used to the system because I know they'll switch. I know WHY they switched and stuff & agree with that decision but I still think it's a cool system & am enjoying the time with it, even if some scenes do drag on quite a bit (which isn't only because of the system, but it also isn't helping).

Some character stuff, I guess: AuDy: They were my favourite at the start last time I listened and I think that pretty much holds up. They're just good. They don't even do that much in this first arc (although dropping from the ceiling as a distraction is pretty fucking great), & I think most of the really good AuDy moments are still coming up, so it speaks to the fact that it's just a good concept for a character that I immediately enjoy. I'm pretty sure they continued to be my favourite pretty much until September? I guess l'll can talk more on it when I get there, though.

Mako: I'm gonna be honest I remembered Mako as way more annoying than he is. At least in this beginning arc. He's literally fine. His whole fogging robots deal is kind of weird to listen to now, since it's something they'd either not do now or actively adress in the story since it's a kind of way to take away agency that's pretty uncomfortable when you look at it longer. I wonder if there's a way that'll come up in the first Chime mission mini-arc? Their hands are a bit tied there since it's a prequel I guess, but there's probably a way to do it. Anyways, Mako ends up as my favourite by the end of the season, and I actually don't quite remember how he got there? But same with AuDy, I'll talk more on it when I get to September (it's possible it was the clone reveal. I love those).

Cass & Aria: They have to share a paragraph because I don't have an extremely strong opinion on them either from my last listen at this point in the story, nor do I now. I'm excited for Aria stuff expecially though. I've mentioned this before, but I'm definitly better at listening and actually processing information now, and it's extremely possible that I just missed things about both Aria and Cass that were just kind of mentioned in a sentence but are actually very important to their characters. (Looking back, I listened to C/W right after I had covid, so some sort of brainfog might also be at fault.) Expecially because Ali isn't very. I can't think of the right word now. But she's just quieter in play (not audio! that's Art.). It's nice seeing everyone get better at this, but for Ali expecially I'm super excited to see her go back to Aria for that mini-arc.

Re: the faction game - it's really good that I know that they cut back on factions later / consolidate them because it is. Not overwhelming necessarily but it's easy to get confused? I feel like I need to take notes on what factions do or like, also have a list of all of them to check to keep track. It's probably a good idea to check out the summaries on the wiki after I listen to these & see if I missed anything. (I keep zoning out because I'm thinking about different, later Counter/WEIGHT stuff, usually related to something they just mentioned.)

All that aside: with the scenes and also just ideas generally they are pretty much immediately crushing it. Like oh my god that first Snowtrak scene just rules so much. That's critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends right there.

I definitly didn't draw fanart when I was listening in 2020, and I don't know if I will now, but I'm at least in more of a mindset to even want to do it. (& actually, there is ONE scene I was extremely wanting to draw even back then, I just thought I couldn't do it. I do think I can do it now! And I will at the very least try.) But speaking of art, here's a Hudson Thorne for your troubles if you read to the end:

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today I'm Gonna Play: Love and Deepspace

I came across this video a couple months ago of a really high poly guy and thought it was CGI made by someone talented. Turns out it was an upcoming otome game for mobile?! I replaced my phone recently so this was a good time to look forward to trying something with high-end graphics for this platform.

My experience with Otome games isn't much. I've played those dating sims that a few friends were very into back in school on DeviantArt, notably by Zeiva and Pacthesis. This was my entry to the Visual Novel (VN) genre, but I didn't understand the appeal of of liking 2D guys. Fast forward and I've also played a couple otome VNs on mobile and dabbled slightly on PC and even though I find a few interesting love interests based on appearance and personality, I STILL didn't get the appeal, until I finally played Mystic Messenger two years ago and got my heart shattered and was rejected by my love interest lol. This idea of having a social messaging format with calls for a mobile game is one of the most creative things I've seen for both the VN genre as a whole as well as the mobile platform. I don't know if any other VNs have done something like this before.

What Love and Deepspace does, is basically take that same format and iterate upon it with its worldbuilding. But it doesn't stop there. The real selling points of this game is that it uses very high quality 3D models akin to Final Fantasy CGs and also have real-time action combat. This seemed like a combo I never thought would exist, but I'm sure as hell glad to see it. Apart from chatting and calls using your own created avatar, it includes other features such as micro blogs which are Twitter-esque, so you can like and comment on the other characters' posts, and sometimes make your own. There are interaction features with the love interest, by being able to touch him, ask him things, and even things like listening to heartbeats or blowing on him using your mic?? It's another level of immersiveness! Minigames also exist which add to the story, such as claw machines (which are actually not to rigged compared to real life), playing cards, taking photos, and mini stories or audio that you can obtain from gacha.

The gacha aspect is not related to obtaining your love interest like in other gachas, but rather it's unlocking additional content about them, such as the mini stories. These stories tend to look like casual hangouts or even romantic dates. I'm not sure if there are any intimate scenes or not so far.

The story is not bad, I'm intruiged by the lore and the overall world as I like futuristic settings. There's a lot of info dump in documents and such that you typically see in gachas or RPGs, but this is one of the few times where I actually read through them. And surprisingly, the protagonist (you) is actually a lot more competent than expected!

The only issue I have is that the way the story is presented makes the characters look like they don't know each other yet and are distant, which is fine. But the romance parts you unlock through gacha or other features of the game seem more affectionate so it feels quite disjointed. It makes me feel confused on how I can piece these moments together.

Another nitpick although minor is that the daily stamina that you can obtain through login times don't seem to sync up in local time, so I'm assuming it's based on China's time zone instead. I've mostly been on this game during the evenings which make me miss both of them. It's a bit of a weird decision for international players.

I've also seen comments online about the lack of a male character or other gender options. I also agree that this would be nice to have. But I also acknowledge that this game is primarily aimed towards women (therefore an otome game), and since it's a Chinese game, I'm not sure if they would allow any type of BL in it. This could cause a bit of disinterest for international players. The only option I can see is to provide a larger variety of options for the current female avatar (which is also a complaint even amongst women playing the game), which could also have the avatar look a little more masculine presenting, etc. This could be a slight workaround towards any censorship laws while also allowing for more diversity. Plus technically speaking, the advantage of shorter hair or buzz cuts etc. would also mean less complex hair rigging (like with long hair) so it may be easier to animate and handle.

Overall, this game has huge potential that could transform romance/otome games for mobile like Mystic Messenger if all goes well. This will be another mobile game I'll keep playing!

[penultimate-step]

JJK S2 Livewatch: Eps 5-7

the watch continues! Ep 5 acts as a sort of coda to the previous arc, and then we return to the present time for eps 6 and beyond. honestly that surprised me - part of the fun of going blind into a series that you heard mutterings about but don't know details is seeing where you have weird impressions for no reason. I thought the flashback arc was going to be more substantial - like half this whole season. joke's on me, I guess, but it's fine.

Ep 5 continues going extremely hard and unsubtle on the imagery. Like 15 minutes are devoted to showing just how traumatized Geto is. Everywhere he goes, a part of him is back in that audience room, hearing the cultists cheer. The show uses audio and visual cues to indicate this to the audience - windows act like TV sets and display scenes from the past, the sound of rainfall is swapped out for the sounds of applause. I'd be quite interested to know how the manga conveyed it, because these all seem like flourishes distinct to the adaptation, which I appreciate. Eventually we get to the moment of Geto's final choice, with the light flickering his shadow into two versions of him that he could become, he fully becomes a villain and massacres the town.

Honestly, while I did feel the ep was great, if I do have a complaint it did feel like the whole thing happened way too fast. I didn't question my assumption that the flashback was going to be longer last time because it seemed like there was a long way to go for Geto to become the self he was by the movie, but in the end it felt pretty abrupt. He struggles for a while with inner doubts then decides he will be the kind of person to commit mass murder, and then does. It's a little weak for a villain arc.

What's not weak is the scene where Gojo confronts Geto, though. My favorite bit is how they have their argument in the middle of a crowded street. The way passerby are going about their day, pushing the two aside, really emphasizes the whole thing - because the everyday civilians can ignore the sorcerers, can walk right past them as if they are in a different world entirely, but they aren't. theyre right there, and their presence is very clearly what the whole fight is about. One of my favorite scenes.

I liked the scene right before where Geto talks with Shouko a bit less, though. Apparently she doesn't go on missions? I'm curious what her deal is. Anyway. Feels like she didn't get enough screentime for me to understand her relevance or her importance to the other characters. Between her and Tsukumo, both of the relevant female characters in this ep only have screentime so that they can show up and ask the main men about their feelings. The "proud" shonen tradition of strict gender roles in action I suppose.

Overall while I have some issues with the pacing, and think the flashback needed some more substance to make us really feel the change in Gojo and Geto, I still liked ep 5.

Ep 6 brings us back to the present, but not fully into the main plot just yet. First we have a brief interlude where the main trio meet at a cafe, along with an old classmate of Yuji's. Going to be real, I had forgotten what the personalities of these three even were, so it was nice to have a relaxed refresher before jumping into the main event. That is the main purpose of this little event, I think, a bit of a tone cleanser to break up the melancholy flashback and the action-heavy present time. It's also good to get glimpses of the lives of the protagonists from before they entered the story - little bits of characterization can go a long way.

As for the battle that follows, I have mixed feelings. It did have the kind of overly flashy fight style that I disliked in S1. However, the fact that the guy brought out a whole mecha does make it seem warranted this time. It didn't really grab me as a fight, but probably if it had been less dramatic I would have thought it had fallen flat.

The fact that I rambled for so much longer about ep 5 alone than the next two eps combined is probably a bad sign, I think. I just find the present day plot less interesting than the flashback was. But I'd rather be optimistic, the show still has plenty of time left to change my mind.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Hi!

I'm going through a period of revisiting K, and something that struck me with the autism discourse generated during the pandemic (and its return as a topic of discussion with Al Haitham in the Genshin fandom) is... Could we read Reisi as someone in the Asperger spectrum? Like, he has issues socializing outside of people he personally picks (I don't remember someone from the Outside successfully approaching him on a personal level), spends his time concentrated on games, is fast with answers and has a complex and ample vocabulary (one story even has him speaking Spanish fluently, though there only were a few phrases exchanged), is a fucking genius but struggles to communicate outside of work, gets uncomfortably close to people, and the audio dramas more or less show that Mikoto finds the timing of Reisi's conversation a bit "off". I don't know if GoRA were well-informed on the topic of Austism it during 2012, but... I'm getting a bit of a Twilight Reinaissance-thing right now with Reisi and the Asperger Spectrum

As always I Am Not A Doctor with asks like these but honestly, yeah, I can absolutely see Munakata being on the spectrum. I don’t think Gora necessarily intended it — I feel like they were more going for ‘he’s just weird’ — but I think he shows a lot of traits that are also present in people with autism and unlike, for example, Fushimi, Munakata had a perfectly loving upbringing so there’s no ‘is it autism or is it just the massive childhood trauma’ problems muddling things up. He definitely shows some issues in things like reading social cues but at the same time he’s excellent at reading people, I feel like Munakata is someone who when he wants to can mask like a champ so you have the confident, charismatic King coexisting with the pleasant dork who doesn’t seem to understand why his clansmen don’t want to spend fun bonding time with him. Munakata is very perceptive but I can also see him as someone who studies normal human behavior the way some people study animals, he doesn’t entirely understand it himself but he’s fascinated to learn and so he manages to read people’s motives while at the same time not really entirely understanding normal emotional responses. He gets super close to people in ways that make them uncomfortable but seems blithely unaware of it, like someone’s told him it’s important to get close and make eye contact and therefore he’s doing it without understanding that this is not how most people communicate.

There’s also the way his interests align, how he shows particular interest in things like Fushimi Mikoto puzzles. We know some of his interest in puzzles is just something to challenge his intellect but I could definitely see those as some measure of a special interest for him, that he’s just largely fascinated by puzzles and likes to do them all the time (also putting pieces down is a nice repetitive calming behavior, and you could even read it as some level of stimming that he works on them even while talking to his men). Also even just his existence as the King of ‘order,’ someone who prefers schedules and routine and having an exact path laid out in front of him for him to follow, which feels like there could definitely be some neurodivergence happening. Of all the cast Munakata is definitely the one who I read as most likely being on the spectrum. 

[atariaction]

Kay’s 2023 Wrapped

Well, that about wraps it up for 2023, which means it’s time for my letter summarizing the computer history work that I did in the past year. I’ve been writing these letters since 2016, making this my eighth annual letter. I wish I had started this tradition in 1996, the year that my computer history efforts began when I launched the Digital Antic Project, which grew into Classic Computer Magazine Archive.

My goal this year was to publish six interviews on Antic: The Atari 8-Bit Podcast. I published just one. (It was a good one, with Rodrigo Castro about Atari in Chile. Why not six? My Internet Archive work and, simply, a lack of momentum on interviews. Once the process is going, it’s going! But getting that engine re-started is hard.) My goal for 2024 is to publish 15 interviews, which I fully expect to actually do. Between us over the years, Randy Kindig and I have published 436 interview episodes on Antic. Our collective goal is to reach 500 by the end of 2025. So to keep my end of the bargain, that means I’ll publish 15 interviews in 2024.

Scanning, though! I turned all sorts of rare paper material into easily-searchable digital material at Internet Archive. I scanned a lot of Atari newsletters, including many from Hughes El Segundo Employees Association Atari Computer Enthusiasts, South Bay Atari Computer Enthusiasts, and West LA Atari Users Group.

In other scanning news — let’s talk about MicroTimes. MicroTimes was a California-focused computer magazine that was published from 1984 through 1999. It was there in the thick of it, published in the state that brought us Silicon Valley. I wrote for MicroTimes for a few years starting in 1992. So I am especially proud of this: 41 issues of MicroTimes magazinewere added to Internet Archive in 2023, bringing the collection to 62 issues. Here’s the long-story-short summary of 10 years of effort: I made this happen. I willed it to happen. More issues will be added in 2024.

I also added two more books to the collection of Russ Walter’s Secret Guide To Computers at Internet Archive. The newest additions are hard-to-find editions from 1976, about BASIC programming and computer applications.

My Scantastix project (if you don’t know what that is, here’s a short article describing it) did some great work: we scanned 321 items totaling 22,577 pages. The scans include some rare Microsoft material, even rarer pamphlets and manuals for Compucorp computers (have you ever heard of them? The computer that came with them is on its way to Vintage Computer Federation) and so many Apple II manuals. Check out all the latest additions here.

Also, a weird scanning side-quest happened this year: My friend Cabel Sasser handed me a pile of more than 50 DAK catalogs, which I scanned for him, then he wrote a blog post about them that blew up the Internet for a few days. It’s a fun read.

Once again, I processed and edited videos of the presentations at Vintage Computer Festival West 2023and VCF East 2023. And I helmed a project to rescue audio from VCF West 2003. These were recordings that were made of talks twenty years ago, then the tapes were lost, then found, then given to me, then it turned out that the tapes were recorded terribly. It took a small team of people to get any sound at all from those tapes then turned into something listenable. They include the voices of C. H. Ting, Jef Raskin, John Ellenby, and Gary Starkweather, who have all passed since these were recorded.

When I interview a programmer, I ask the person if they have any source code. I interviewed Jay Jaeger, creator of the Atari Program Exchange version of Space War, in 2016. At the time he said he had the source code… somewhere. I contacted him from time to time to ask about that source code. (I have a “nag list” of people that I contact from time to time to ask them about some material or other.) Patience and persistence paid off. Just a few days ago, in December 2023, he found the assembly language source code and sent it to me to share.

A bit of personal archiving: I write for Juiced.GS magazine, which focuses on the Apple II. I uploaded all of the articles I've written for Juiced to Internet Archive, spanning 2015–2022. There are some interviews, some product reviews, and some nice little reminisces about the old days of microcomputers. (I released them under a Creative Commons license, so if you want to republish an article in a non-commercial computer club newsletter or something like that, go for it. My agreement with the magazine says that they get exclusive rights to articles for a year. So my 2023 articles will be shared online a year from now. In the mean time, it’s a good magazine: if you like Apple II, subscribe!)

My work at Internet Archive as the curator of the Digital Library of Amateur Radio & Communications is certainly one of the reasons I’ve had less time and energy for computer archiving. 2023 was my first full calendar year in this role. I hit my one-year anniversary in August! But there’s sometimes a nice overlap between the two efforts. For instance, in 2023 I archived several ham radio related programs for Atari computers and a few for DOS machines and even a handful for CP/M that were rescued from 8-inch floppy disks.

There’s something else, something that I’ve been teasing for years. In my 2018 letter I wrote “There’s a particular archiving project happening in 2019 that is really big and really important for microcomputer history. I’m not ready to talk about it, but hold your breath and cross your fingers.” Then at the end of 2019 I wrote: “That project depends on the help of one person who has been battling ongoing health issues. It is still very much at the front of my mind, and *crosses fingers* will move ahead this year.” It didn’t, and it couldn’t, but with patience and persistence, it’s finally happening. It’s already started, and I can’t wait to have something amazing to show you in 2024. Keep holding your breath and crossing your fingers just a little while longer.

If you support my archiving work on Patreon, thank you! Also please consider making a tax-deductible donation to Internet Archive, the non-profit online library that hosts all of my scans and interviews.

I hope we all have a pleasant and productive 2024. May your patience and persistence pay dividends.

[clonerightsagenda]

So - I promised my full take on Within the Wires, and here it is.

First of all, Night Vale Presents continues to be very good at shorter, self-contained stories. WTNV lost me because it just got too long and formless for my tastes - which is fine if that's your jam! but it's not mine - but Alice isn't Dead was a good length for me, and these ten episode standalone seasons really allow them to tell a tight story without wearing out their welcome.

I love the use of the audio medium. WtW started back near the start of the audio drama renaissance when everyone was justifying the medium, and they do a great job - relaxation cassettes, voicemails, audio guides, memos, etc. Nothing else bowled me over quite as much as episode 9 of season 1 in the way it broke down the barriers between speaker and listener, but I really enjoyed the choices made.

I guess I have to accept that the Society is just a weird dystopia concept created to let these stories happen, because it doesn't really make sense. Sure, authoritarian societies don't always make sense or tell the truth about their motives, but family as the primary driver of discord between humans? It seems like the Reckoning started as WWI and then kept rolling, and most of the soldiers in WWI were not fighting each other because of personal animosity. The Society got rid of parents but kept corporations and politicians - that's rich. It would be reasonable to say the Society saw an opening in that taking over the socialization of new generations allows it to indoctrinate everyone, but I read the tie-in novel and the original designers seemed to genuinely believe family was the root of these issues. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. (Also the novel having a Black woman be the proponent of this theory was a bit odd to me.)

A few other things that pinged me the wrong way - WtW highlights a relationship between women in each season, which is great and probably (alas) why it is not more popular.... except season 3 which highlights a trans man. Wondering what the intended implication is there.

I also noted the issues with Native Americans in an earlier post. Season seven sort of addressed that? On one hand you have the mention of Aboriginal Australians reclaiming part of their land and Aotearoa using the original place names, almost like the Society is being framed as this decolonized paradise, but the season progresses to a critique of how clinically teaching children ripped from their families about their 'culture' in classrooms isn't the same as letting people pass down their heritage, just as a family bakery isn't the same bakery if you're just handing new people the recipes. Still, it's interesting that the past treatment of Indigenous people in the Americas has not come up at all, given the aforementioned similarities to residential schools. It looks like the co-writer is from New Zealand which explains why Māori stuff has come up multiple times, but Jeffrey Cranor is American. (Though, I've noted, has a history of overlooking Native issues.)

Some seasons were stronger than others. Season 6 was definitely my least favorite - didn't feel like it tied in much with any of the others. Overall though, the writing was strong, episode 9 of each season usually punched you in the gut, and I really liked how complex a lot of the characters were. Truly a podcast committed to morally grey women.

Verdict: Compelling characters, emotionally impactful storylines, very clever and interesting use of the audio medium, worldbuilding does not really hold up to close scrutiny but that's ok.