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hi hey just wanna let u know that i (this anon in particular) would always want to listen to your thoughts about The Thing youre excited about regardless of the reason or my knowledge or the time-space continuum!
YOU! Ohhh anon you poor soul. I'm terribly sorry. I have been holding onto this ask for a while, at least until the next time I felt as Energized about Them again. Shaking. Twitching. I don't quite know how to explain it. I can only take potshots at attempting to rationalize my thoughts behind them. With that said, here's more rambling about Engiemedic, the only thing I seem to care about
I've rambled about Engiemedic a fair amount of times before, either jokingly with goofy remarks about them or writing a giantass fic about them. They scratch a certain part of my brain that is difficult to really describe and pin-down.
Like I've never really "shipped" anybody before them. Did I like ships? Yeah sure of course. I've always liked considering relationships and thinking about how they intersect and are written. It's probably definitely the aroace bit of me talking, but I only really get involved in ships when there's really some substance to them.
It makes Engiemedic this weird fucked up anomaly to me then because what the hell do you mean that this decently popular non-canon pairing that's had all of like 30 seconds of shared screentime and maybe seven panels where they're in the same room at max has become so engrossing and fascinating to me. It's not like the usual ships where this happens to people; the ones with lengthy tragic tales tied to them or spend so much time with one another. It's just two silly guys
It just...perplexes me. It's odd. I can't describe what about it really draws me in, despite the fact I've written so much. I can at least try and figure out what it is though
I think the thing that made me first interested was simply the dynamic and jokes to be made. They are exceptionally silly, wherein I can fully believe them sticking together and doing weird experiments for hours upon hours. It's hard not to imagine them getting excited over whatever project they've been throwing themselves at. It's fun
Because ultimately both Engie and Medic are both unethical murderous science people, Medic obviously while Engie is a tiny bit more subtle. Their dynamic is interesting in that regard 'cause, when paired together, now you've got two weirdo freaky smart people tossing back ideas and before you know it now they're trying to create some sort of nuclear-powered contraption that explodes bones
It calls out to me in a way that other ships don't, especially Heavymedic. No shade to Heavymedic shippers out there, I think it's still a fun ship, but I don't find it as compelling with their dynamic. Heavy is a reasonable and level-headed guy. Yeah he kills people and laughs about their misery and whatever, but he's more stable than most other mercs. If Medic was to say "I want to self-isolate for days on end while I work to create the bubonic plague 2.0" Heavy would have concerns and try to stop him from doing it because What the Hell
Engie, however, would endorse it. I think Engie and Medic are very similar in that regard. They're dedicated to their crafts and understand the nuance and skill that it takes to partake in it. Engie obviously still has qualms and is there in case Medic clearly ain't right, but he's more likely to get caught up in whatever experiment that Medic is trying to do
Which brings me to my next point: the way they influence each other. When together, I think they are at their best and worst (morally at least). It's like that trope with two smart people coming together and being dumbasses, but instead it's with them making weird creations and doing odd experiments that ultimately do not benefit anyone. They simply do it for fun
On a more personal level, I think Medic draws out the parts of Engie where he tries to hide and represses. Headcanons, obviously, but I think Medic taps into Engie's more sinister nature as a maniac with a god complex and a hankering to kill and really draws it out. It's infectious and hard not to try and match his energy. Medic makes Engie want to get more creative with his projects and drives him to be more experimental and, of course, murderous
Likewise and, again, mainly headcanons, I think Engie helps Medic tap into a slightly more "human" side. I think Medic generally struggles with caring about other people, discarding them in favour of working on his own projects and being by himself. Engie is one of the first people he's encountered that not only likes him and enjoys his company, but is just as wacky and weird as he is. Engie is more charismatic and outgoing and, while still not too terribly great with the whole emotions thing, helps Medic out in case he's Not Doing Good
Their personalities intertwine so much they make me ever so slightly ill. They don't seem alike really at first glance. Medic is over the top, eccentric, and generally a giggly mad scientist. Clear to see the archetype he's based on. Yet, when you look past Engie's charming little quips about Texas, he's very much alike Medic. He has a god complex, is highly intelligent, morally bankrupt, etc and etc. He's just as eccentric and wacky as the doc is, but is only slightly better at keeping it under wraps
I just think they're really entertaining when put together honestly. Sure yeah I love me my angsty and fluffy stuff with them, but I think they're simply great when just working on some project and talking to each other. Their personalities bounce off of one another exceptionally well and it's hard for them not to get so caught up in their work that Oh No it's been Four Days and they haven't left the workshop/laboratory
Ultimately, yeah. I think they care about each other a lot that way. Their work is...intimate in a way. They're lab partners. They spend all of this time together, defying God's will with whatever unholy machination they've crafted, they got to have some sort of bond
What makes me happy is that I think a lot of people really like the concept of Engiemedic in any form. Platonic, romantic, whatever. I personally go for QPR stuff (something about their love being undefinable by normal standards blah blah), but I think it's a neat observation that makes me like it more. It's hard to deny that they're really fun together
Speaking of their connections, let's talk about their roles in the actual game. Y'all heard of the Heavymedic duo, with Heavy running around with a Medic pocketing him the entire time, but have you ever considered the Engiemedic duo?? Engie and Medic are the BACKBONES of this game honestly. All it takes is one Engineer or Medic on a team to shift the balance entirely. Everyone wants a good Engie and Medic, but it's a hard role to fill and nobody really wants it. However, they're needed. They're necessary. They're the main support roles of the game than, say, Sniper or Spy ever are. They're the underappreciated, yet incredibly vital parts of the team.
Honestly the Engiemedic duo is far more prevalent and makes far more sense than the Heavymedic duo, because tbh you can say that Medic is closely connected to any class. Soldiermedic duo where Solly just spams rockets and wipes out the entire team. Demomedic duo where Demo just spams pipes and annihilates every building. What makes the Heavymedic duo any special? God I'm sorry for being a little Heavymedic hater, I promise I think the ship is alright, but idk. I like Engiemedic a lot
Anywho, I think Engiemedic is extremely fun to write about as well as just generally experience. There's so much you can apply to them. It's hard to think of anything they can't do, really. They're great with humor, what with shoving them into a room with some cadaver and letting them have at it. They're great with angst because, with headcanons, they can be really heavily fucked up people trying to make things work. They're great with fluff because they're so silly and it's easy to think of them doing cute things with one another. The list goes on!
They're...special to me. They're certainly something. I could go into all sorts of other things too (more esoteric and metaphoric I'm talking), but eh who cares. I don't like delving too much into headcanons and my own weird readings with these more generalized rambles. I just think they're silly :]
#sp-rambles#ask#anon#...okay fine I'll tag it too#science party#I know using my own gif is a little corny but still#Still holds true methinks#Also again sorry for the little ramble about other ships I just really like this one instead#I could probably ramble more about my thoughts on *why* I prefer this one but I'm afraid of being burned alive by the fandom
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[First] - [Prev]
Meta Knight's confession 3/3, Just a little Guy
Not exactly what Meta Knight expected. What counts is that Dedede feels a wee bit more at ease!
#Meta Knight#King Dedede#Kirby#Kirby Comic#Kirby Series#Meta Knight's Confession#Gethoce#Okay fine I'll use that tag too#Metadede
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still mad that we didn't get Vecna possessing Steve. haha silly Steve who asks stupid questions and everyone dunks on as if he's not an athlete and one of the better combatants in the group. Steve, who knocked out a trained soldier at 19. Steve, who has been beaten to hell every season and gotten right back up afterwards. just goofy old Steve.
but what if Steve wasn't actually Steve anymore?
#first of all it would have been ICONIC#second of all I have a very niche type#and it's brunets with big brown eyes that use a baseball bat as their weapon of choice#with a dash of possessed by an evil spirit for spice#ugh. fine. I'll do it myself#seriously though can you imagine THAT twist reveal???#they carry on that schtick with steve saying things the narrative frames as dumb#and the other characters all humor and/or snark at him for it#and then he just drops the act and sudden things get serious#begging the duffers to give joe keery literally anything to do in this show#sorry but kind of looked bored as hell throughout S4. at least to me#and tbh I would be too if my role consisted of forced 'dumb' dialogue. getting beaten up. and pining for my ex#steve didn't even get to have a standout buddy for the season#lucas and max were paired up. eddie and dustin. and robin and nancy were together most of the season#and it would have been cool if that was done with intent. but it just wasn't#okay I'm done rambling in the tags now#strangerthoughts
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Käärijan nation how are we feeling on this finest of evenings
#I give up I guess I'm a fukken shipper now. jesus#THEY ARE LITERALLY TELLING US TO SHIP THEM OKAY. FINE. FINE I'LL FUCKING DO IT YOU BEAUTIFUL MAD LADS#käärijä#käärijan#I GUESS I'M FUCKING USING THE TAG NOW TOO. I GUESS THIS IS MY LIFE NOW
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What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert
see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)
i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!
another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know
dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.
anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else
#killer's breakdancing and he swears this isnt on purpose guys#GUYS GUYS ITS NOT ME THE BODY IS DRUNK OKAY WHY CANT I STOP WHEN DID I LEARN HOW TO DO THIS#horror has SO much to be guilty over its not even funny. ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#nobody talks about this but this man is GUILTSTRIFEN. he is literally filled with so much guilt its not even funny#dust and killer have the genocides they did. ok. sure. that's it????#ugh god i dont wanna ramble in tags again..... im just gonna end up saying it in the analysis anyways but ughhhhhhhhhhh#yk what fine i'll rapid fire. trying to keep people from killing themselves. watching his friends die.#knowing that other monsters are getting eaten. worrying papyrus. coming up with a plan he knows wont work and tries make it happen#because that idea of them deconstrucing the core would NOT have worked so he did that out of selfishness#forcing his community to eat humans. tricking papyrus into eating humans. going against all his morals#dare i need say more i swear AND ALL OF THESE ARE SEPERATE THINGS TOO!!!!!!#he single handedly DOOMED horrortale into disarray by destroying the core#the eye idea wouldve worked. it wouldve been the only way monsterkind thrived#and yet he destroyed the core but kept his eye safe. as if one last big fuck you#you can have my eye but you cant have the machine that needs it. good luck bitches#THERE ALREADY WAS FOOD IN SNOWDIN BEFORE HE TOLD THEM TO EAT HUMANS#THERE COULD'VE BEEN ANOTHER WAY TO RATION THE FOOD OR FIND S FOOD SOURCE#BUT HE JUST TOLD TJEM TO EST HUMANS OUT OF SPITE SO UNDYNE WOULDN'T GET THE SOULS#granted it was a solution that worked for the hunger problem BUT HORROR FUCKING HATES IT#HE HATES THE IDEA OF EATING HUMANS HE HATES THE IDEA OF KILLING KIDS#BUT HE STILL DOES IT HE GOES AGAINST ALL HIS MORALS UGHHHHH#horror sans. horror sans my king horror sans my glorious lord and savior#i cannot WAIT to drop that character analysis. it will change lives. and by lives i mean me#i will be a changed man once the horror analysis comes out#anyways WHO IS THIS ANON AGAIN. its a question i always wonder because wtf#you have a daily question for me. this is like a log in event. if i answer all the questions in a row for a week i get a SPECIAL question#but fr thank you so much for your questions i love answering them its so fun to wrack my mind and figure out a way to answer it. brain teas#every time i see the words mtt expert i laugh lowly like an evil villain but i try not let it get to my head#humility is a standard i aim to uphold. one of my character traits. triglycercule character analysis when#tricule asks
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and in this moment, we dance.
A Dave/Boris fic.
Summary: Dave finds himself sharing a dance with a famous ballet dancer.
Words: 1780.
Note: It's not mentioned but this fic is written with the headcanon that Dave is aro-spec. Unsure if that is portrayed clearly tho, or if the characters might be OOC haha. Anyway this silly little crackship has been on my mind alot, hope you like this writing of them!
You can also read it on: AO3 | SqW
* * *
As Guests of Honour, the Movers and Nina were looking forward to the backstage access. Once the other ticket holders had wrapped up their meet and greet, the five friends were brought to the VIP area, where they would meet the two dancers there.
"Boris, Oksana, your performance was beautiful!" Nina said excitedly.
"Yeah, I couldn't look away!" Scott added.
"You both danced wonderfully," Smitty complimented.
Dave took off his cap to pull out a big bouquet of red roses and handed it to Oksana. "For you," he said, putting on the hat again. Oksana grinned as she accepted it.
"Thank you Movers! Thank you Nina!" Oksana replied with a slight curtsy, and they bowed back.
"Yes, we are very happy you enjoy show," Boris said, smiling. "We love seeing you in crowd." He looked at them, and when his eyes landed on Dave, he gave him a quick wink. The gesture was met with a slightly surprised expression from the Mover, his eyebrows slightly raised. The others were oblivious to it aside from Nina who noticed, her gaze shifting between the two men. They all then continued their conversation for a little while.
"So, what's next? Are you two going back home?" Rich asked.
"We have more show next week."
"Da. We stay in your country until show is done," Oksana added. "We will love to see you all again. You too, Mousenik." She patted Warehouse Mouse gently, and the mouse cheered. "We hope to dance more in your country now that we are still the famous dancers."
"We're really glad it all turned out well. Congratulations to both of you!" Rich said happily.
"All thanks to your help too," Boris noted.
"So, great job to us too!" Rich cheered, holding his hand up for a high five.
The others got ready for the high-five as well, though Dave was interrupted when Boris handed him the bouquet and a few other gifts the dancers received from their fans.
"Please bring these," Boris said, making his way to one of the rooms away from where they all gathered.
Dave stood there for a moment, balancing the items in his hands before eventually following Boris' lead.
'At least he said "please" this time', Dave thought to himself, pursing his lips. He walked over to a table and carefully placed the items down. He let out a sigh, then looked at the dancer who was standing near a dressing room mirror. "Alright, I put all your stuff here."
"Thank you," Boris replied, flashing a smile at Dave. He placed a tube of his favourite hair gel inside the bag, along with the other tubes.
"Guess you won't be using those anymore, huh?" Dave remarked.
"Mmm, not so much, but maybe a little." Boris closed his bag and turned to approach Dave, taking proud strides. "Enough to make Boris extra handsome, no?" he said with a smirk, running his hands through his hair.
Dave took a small step back when Boris stood right in front of him. He scoffed, then shrugged as he plainly replied, "Sure."
Boris chuckled lightly, a more genuine smile forming on his face, and for a moment the Mover froze. Even if his constant self-praising were bordering on being annoying, Dave couldn't deny that the dancer was quite attractive and very well aware of it.
"One more thing I want to ask." Boris' words snapped Dave out of his thoughts.
"Huh, what?"
"Will you do honour of dancing with Boris?" The dancer asked, offering his hand.
Dave looked at it, then back at the man. He promptly glanced to his side and checked his surroundings before facing Boris again.
"Are you.. asking me?" he asked, a confused look plastered on his face.
Boris cocked an eyebrow. "Do you see other handsome man being here?"
Dave felt his face heat up, his eyes widening. "I'm not.. um.." he mumbled, trying to think what to respond. He then cleared his throat and replied, "I don't know ballet. You and Oksana saw how me and the guys danced, right?"
"I can show you," Boris said calmly, "if you like."
Dave blinked a few times, staring at the hand extended to him. Countless thoughts were running through his mind, none of them helping him decide what to do.
What's going on?
Why all of a sudden?
Why me?
Dave frowned, and Boris took note of it. He lowered his hand.
"If not, it's OK," he reassured with a smile, turning away. Dave didn't hear any hint of bitterness in those words, and his expression relaxed. He decided to not overthink it.
"W-wait!"
The dancer looked at the Mover, who spoke once more.
"I, uh, I'd like to dance."
Upon hearing his words, Boris smirked. He offered his hand again, and Dave accepted.
* * *
Admittedly, Dave still wasn't so sure about this.
Ballet music played gently across the room. The two men faced one another, hand in hand. They moved together, with Boris patiently guiding Dave in each step. They pulled each other close, and Dave was still trying to grasp everything that was happening. He couldn't help but observe his dance partner; the way his dark hair fell on his forehead, feeling the heat from his rough palms whenever their hands met, the woody scent of his perfume as strong and intense as the person wearing it.
Dave had never realized how big his dark pupils seemingly were, and he found himself staring into them. Boris smirked as he raised an eyebrow, looking into Dave's bright blue eyes in return. He began moving his legs, prompting Dave to follow as they continued. Dave swung his arms as gracefully as he could and his feet stepped wherever Boris took him.
"Well done, kotyonok. You dance very good," Boris said, grinning as he twirled Dave around.
They ended their little dance with a dip; Boris had his hand supporting the Mover's waist as Dave leaned back into it. The Mover froze again, his eyes widened as he gazed into Boris' eyes once more, their faces now inches away from each other. He could feel his heart pounding, the overwhelming mix of perfume and musk piercing his nostrils, and the warmth from the other man's body. His head was clouded, his senses almost overwhelmed. Boris observed Dave's reaction, his face slowly inching closer to the Mover. Dave's mind was racing.
Aren't things going a little too fast?
Should I lean in? Close my eyes?
This perfume is too strong. It's nauseating.
Just like in fairytales, kiss and live happily ever after.
I can't feel my legs. My face feels numb.
He swept me right off my feet! Metaphorically and literally.
The others are probably looking for me.
What a dreamy moment~
This isn't happening.
Dave closed his eyes shut, as Boris leaned more into him. He could feel the dancer's breathing on his face, and at that moment, everything was too much.
"Sorry."
Dave moved his head, leaning further as he slightly pushed Boris away.
Boris carefully pulled back from Dave, holding his hand as he helped the Mover stand up properly. Once Dave was steady on his feet, Boris held Dave's hand up to his lips and gave it a soft kiss before letting it go.
"No worry, kotyonok. It is pleasure dancing with you."
Dave's face was flushed, his heart still beating quick as he looked down, trying to calm himself.
"Ah, before you go.." Boris walked over to a table and grabbed a piece of what seemed to be a poster. He uncapped a marker and started writing something on it, then looked up as he asked, "What is your name?"
"Huh, oh—" Dave briefly looked down to his suit, realizing his nametag wasn't on there. "It's uh, it's Dave."
"Dave.." Boris continued writing, and Dave's eyes wandered elsewhere, still reeling from what had happened.
"Here," Boris handed over the poster, which was of him in a ballet pose, with unfamiliar writing on the bottom left which Dave could assume one of the words was his name spelt in Russian, along with Boris' signature. "If you ever miss me." He winked before going back to his bag.
Dave took a look at the poster, then pulled a face. "Um, thanks." He kept it in his hat and glanced at the door. "I should probably head back to the others."
"Farewell, Dave. Thank you again."
"Bye." Dave gave a small wave before exiting the room.
* * *
"There you are, Dave!"
Dave was caught off guard when he heard Nina's voice calling to him. The Movers turned to his direction as he approached them.
"Hey guys—"
"Hey, are you okay?" Scott interrupted. "Your face is so red, almost like your hat!"
He stepped closer, cupping his hands on Dave's face as he continued, "And it's so hot too!"
The others looked at him curiously. Dave chuckled, pushing Scott's hands off him. "It's nothing. I'm probably just tired."
"Yeah, it is getting late. And we have to leave now anyway," Smitty chimed in, petting a sleepy Warehouse Mouse who he was carrying in his arm.
The others nodded and made their way out the theatre. While walking to the Mover Mobile, Nina suddenly stopped in her tracks. "Oh no!"
"What? What's wrong, Nina?" Rich asked worriedly.
"I forgot to ask Boris for his autograph.." Nina said, pouting.
"Oh! I got you." Dave pulled out the poster from his hat, handing it over to Nina. Her eyes lit up as she unrolled the poster. "You can have it."
"Wow, thanks Dave!" Nina grinned widely and Dave nodded. The others smiled as they all continued walking.
Shortly after, Nina called out to Dave again. "Hey Dave, maybe you'd wanna keep this," she said in a quieter voice, giving him a small knowing smile as she handed a folded sticky note that was attached to the poster.
"Hm, what.." Dave hadn't noticed it there. He opened the note, then furrowed his eyebrows. "It's.. a phone number?"
"Ooh.." Nina smirked at him. "I guess someone was hoping to see you again."
"Who would..." Dave stopped his sentence, a red tint forming on his cheeks. "..oh."
Nina couldn't hold back a smile. She leaned closer to Dave as she spoke, "Anything you want to share?"
Dave cleared his throat, covering his mouth. "..not yet. I'm still.. processing it."
Nina patted his arm. "Okay then, I won't say anything about it."
"Thanks, Nina," Dave said, giving her a grateful smile.
"Let's go catch up to them."
"Oh, right!"
They both walked faster to the other Movers in front of them, eager to get back home and get some rest from a long, exciting day.
#imagination movers#huuuuh. okay#I didn't mean to post this yet what!!!#anyway. well. okay it's posted now lmao. i hope the formatting is fine ? ngl i'm nervous posting this on the main tag#i need a tag. uh#my writings#<- there lol#dovie#finally found the time to post on ao3 and sqw which both just have the same interface lmao#but i like posting on sqw first because there's very few who are gonna see there and i'm nervous about everything lol#i have wattpad too idk if I'll post there
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Happy Cicero Sunday! How are u? ^_^ -⛄
I'm a day late!! Noooo!!!
To answer your question, I am doing fine :D I know this blog has been silent for a while now and the fic has been on a brief hiatus, but rest assured I am working on it still!! My goal is to get an update out sometime between now and this Saturday o7
#posts made by rae#posts made by bees#hello again dearest snow at the beach#if anyone is curious as to why i've been kinda MIA#i'll talk about that in the notes of the chapter#whenever i get to that#I AM FINE THO#sorry i made it sound like the ao3 curse got me#my mental health is also okay it's mostly just a skill issue#and a bit of scheduling hell#so you know#the usual#actively working on finishing this chapter now o7#happy mind monday btw#since i was too late for sunday ;-;#its been a busy weekend for me rip#q&a#me and my arbitrary tagging system#was secretly waiting for a big reveal where i was like#BOO IM NOT DEAD HERES A NEW CHAPTER#but i figured you might just like to know that im still all good#especially with all of the times ive mentioned how not good im doing#rip
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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man growing up without any privacy is a fucking trip what do you mean i'm scared my mom found my imagine dragons CD it's imagine dragons for fuck's sake why would i get in trouble for that
#i want to buy a bunch more cds too#but if my mom looks too closely at my music i think i'll die#since she has a history of being weird about it#okay sorry i discovered my chemical romance when i was twelve#it was a decade ago#am i allowed to listen to sad songs now#or songs where they say “fuck”#any time i want to buy something i evaluate in my head if it's okay for me to have first#the way i triple thought before buying mayday parade merch when i went to their concert#because of fear#and it's more than just music#i chat on discord so she never finds my messages#exclusively use it on incognito so i can close out at a moment's notice#because she went through my text messages#i don't keep a diary because she'd read it behind my back#i hide my sketchbooks because despite being a medical student i worry she will be weird if i know too much anatomy#she was weird abt me not drawing a shirt on a bust drawing#that didnt even include shoulders#like jeez#anyway#sorry for venting in the tags lmao#sometimes i forget that people actually read my posts#and im not just existing here lmao#erm close your eyes im fine#i really want more cds tho#sour#collide with the sky#scoring the end of the world#folklore#ugh just so many
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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There have been too many big life events in the past week. I am sleeping so badly. My brain is not processing.
#life stuff#many of the events are good things#but like#what the fuck#why is everything happening at once#why is the future coming for me so fast#a year is so long and so short at once#I just settled in where I am and I'm already halfway through my time here#and I feel okay about the job itself being temporary but I feel so weird about leaving these people I'm getting to know and like so much#In a few months time I'll be starting over again in a new job in a new city#and it'll be fine for sure#but god those first six months are always so hard#and it'll be my Probezeit too#So I feel like I'll need to be extra careful about everything#at the same time if I take this particular job I can see myself being really happy there#i'll be constantly exhausted for the first six months or so#but once I settle in I think this could be so good?#anyway the amount of tags is making the post glitch
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hello everyone. do you want to see my tua self insert whose lore is so confusing and discombobulated because of time (i also have too many ideas for her lore wise so it's okay i guess). i'm being brave, because you are seeing her and i'm indecisive.
look at my darling. i love you. (i like the one on the left a lot i'm sorry)
picrew
#guys i'm being brave. be proud of me.#she is everything to me did you know i love her so much#did you know she's also a tragedy and the love of her life is fighting apocalypses#<- s4 doesn't exist to me okay#funnily enough their like ship name is “slow burn tragedy” because i was saying it as a joke#but it strangely works out because they're both a tragedy in the making god save them both#her lore is odd because there is a canon of me following the seasons and it being widely different#<- i'm not showing or talking about that one as that's for me personally#she'll get like plethora of different lore because timelines exist#<- i'm the biggest nerd with time you'll all hate me (probably)#oh yeah hi hi hi hi hi!!#she and five are forever together and i do not CARE what you say they are in love your honour#probably.....#another fun fact about her is that i called her “the witch” and refer her as “eight” a lot#i'm being so brave rn guys are any of you proud of me#sighs so loud i combust into flames#i'm fine (i'm lying)#ashley talks#should i make a s/i tag for her but what would it be lol#<- i think i know#i'll add it later.#i'm just proud i managed to talk to show the self insert and talk about the f/o i've been too scared to talk about#it's five btw if you care <- i love him a lot he means a lot to me please let me have this.
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#3 you can (not) redo
#eli vanto#thrawn 2017#thranto#it's not even been one day my godddddd#listen. okay please listen friends. comrades. fellow hooligans.#i'm not going into your inboxes or leaving replies on your posts or anything#i'm not “calling anyone out”#maybe this counts as vagueposting and being aggressive or whatever idek. but like#it's just.#if you do an art. at some point you gotta be more conscious about your choices of colour palette#esp when depicting someone with darker skin#like at this point fine. you can think eli is “tan” if you want. live in denial.#but at least give him the damn melanin for it#colourism is a thing too yknow!!#you know this actually happened ages back in another fandom i'm in#and when i sent the artist a curious msg about it they were like 'o yeah i can see and i agree i messed up the colours on this one real bad#it's literally not that hard to just notice and move on and just try better next time#okay next time i promise i'll post the meme without any commentary okay i just. sigh.#white eli tag#hmmm maybe i should change the meme to read “whitewashed” as opposed to just “white”#that way it's a more accurate argument re colourism#hm hmmmm
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Go watch this episode. It's funny as hell. https://www.pokeflix.tv/v/09-battling-the-enemy-within
#taylor's tag#making you guys see this too. go watch Battling The Enemy Within.#pokemon#pokeani#anipoke#I actually like advance. it either admittedly slaps OR it's the bicker the better#pallet contest solidarity reigns supreme though#but it's like. fine. it's sweet. i like it. i don't have like. problems over it though#heartbreaking: found a ship i'm actually normal about#either i need to be not normal or okay about it or i'll forget it exists tbh
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DANI HAINES x CLAIRE REDFIELD / template.
#mine.#pair: dani x claire#oc: dani#click for better quality ♡#i was originally going to upload both the claire and carlos ones in the same post but their colours clash together i feel so i'll leave it#for now (i mean i still need to get a picture for him cause it's hard finding hd ones of his face model)#anyway!! the cooking one. i've talked about dani and cooking lmao but i also feel like claire is like... they are microwave chefs. or order#takeout. they are not good cooks lmao and good for them honestly!! like i have many thoughts with claire but i won't ramble too too much in#the tags because we all know how i get!! also they both spoil each other but dani is like. a lot. she's... she's a lot. font is supposed to#be similar to made in heaven logo on her new classic costume and jacket but ya know. just the vibes!! you understand!! and helicopter icon#for dani will be used on carlos template me thinks but butterfly for now. couldn't find nice bird ones but i mean. they are both her lil#motifs so it's fine!! but yes now you know what i mean when i was saying their colours are like a watermelon and i'm kinda obsessed with it#OH also dani's jealousy level is higher than both claire's and carlos' which is so funny to me because like they are in a v polycule so#those two are just friends and she's the one with two partners and yet she's the more jealous one. okay dani. i love her#the shut up kiss makes me go insane though... looking at first to confess and first to kiss and gestures vaguely. i'm normal about that!!!#and first thing in my edits tag that isn't blue... this is weird this is so so weird oh my god#posting this now even though people are busy and such but if it stays in my drafts any longer i'll lose my mind soooo goodnight besties hope#everyone is having good holidays!!
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This was the silly thing, a Puyo Puyo x Doko Demo Issyo featuring my OC's. I know I should've taken the opportunity to make Sora as Sig and then Kuro as Black Sig, but that didn't process in my brain while making it.
Also cause Toro x Kuro exists, so... (Spreading the Sig x Knife propaganda, lol).
Here's more pictures I wanted to share.
Knife likes Kuro (Platonically)
But Amitie likes Knife (Romantically) (Gotta spread the Amitie x Knife bibble too, y'know)
Speaking of Amitie liking Knife...
AU Amitie in a nutshell (At least when it comes to the funnies) (P.S. Yes, that is Sig on the floor :). No he is not dead.)
#puyo puyo#knife nanami#sig puyo puyo#amitie puyo puyo#sig#amitie#butterfly knife ship art#Or at least a mention#Girls in red ship art#yes I call them Girls in Red#oc x canon#doko demo issyo#toro inoue#kuro doko demo issyo#ricky doko demo issyo#Jun Mihara#R. Suzuki#Pierre Yamamoto#Sora doko demo issyo mentioned#raffina puyo puyo#klug puyo puyo#Knives Vibri West#This is too much tagging#Okay fine I'll actually make a thing for Knife's birthday.
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