#...like 90% sure-
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...so I'm pretty sure that I'm an alienkin-
One evolved from spiders
With eight arms, colorful fluff, and big ol mandibles
And of course, my many many eyes, that have been sent to earth to study human behavior >:D
#otherkin#spacekin#alienkin#alterhuman#nonhuman#spiderkin#??#kinda#just spiderlike alien#all colorful#to warn#predators#yeah#...is this too much?#im chill tho#kk?#im sure of it#...like 90% sure-
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what even is the message here
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was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-
#edit: tinytauris fact checked my post and they sang 'hello' not someone like you & it was 'your big monster' not eggplant#everyday i think about the fact that yukierre should've been what lestappen is now#i should be able to go on the yukierre tag on ao3 and it should say 'showing 1-20 of 6745'#they were genuinely so fuckingg weird about each otherrrrrr#im being so serious when i say that if they ever came out as gay/bi/whatever i really wouldnt be surprised#literally just 'okay?? fork spotted in kitchen cmon now' moment#anyway i think about that moment on the bus soooo often#will you miss me? / maybe for 2-3 minutes / ill take that then. even if it's just for 2-3 minutes ill take that#hwat the FUCK#i was going 'gay gay homosexual' everytime i saw them together#yukierre#yuki tsunoda#pierre gasly#also im like 90% sure that everyting i worte down actually happened but if i wrote smth down that didnt happen#and my yukierre infested brain just conjured up please let me know#also ive had this is in my drafts foreverrrr (re: since july) so if this has already been done im so sorry#i always feel like such a loser making posts about driver relationships lol#like 'oh look at that weirdo that got too invested in people she doesn't even know'#whatever im getting to introspective now#1k
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yāknow what? fuck you. *UNGRAYSCALES YOUR ISATS*
no wait come back thereās greyscale versions under the cut :(
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#odile more like. oteal. gottem#anyways color headcanons!!! theseāve been brewing in my head for a little while#especially euphrasie. i genuinely didnāt process everything being in greyscale until after she was introduced#my color headcanon for her was so engrained within me that i didnāt realize she wasnāt colored#everyone else came pretty easily. except for odile#i donāt really see her wearing like. saturated colors?#i just defaulted to teal because i like tinting black hair teal#her purple-ish shirt was supposed to be like. a subtle hint to her being half vaugardian#since all of my vauguardians have warmer color palettes#but idrk how well that translates. oh well!#im like 90% sure i chose purple for mira because of plums. even though mirabelle plums arenāt purple#but by the time i realized that her colors were set in stone in my brain#iād go on about design details for the others but these tags are already outrageously long as is#so uh. oops. can you tell i like talking about character design
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The girls are here!!!
#dungeon meshi#maizuru#inutade#izutsumi#benichidori#hien#Was this the Kabru episode that really shows off how perceptive and fascinated by humans to be a foil to Laios"s monster obsession?#Sure was. Was the funny comic I made not yet quite relevant for where the anime is currently at? SURE WAS.#Funny comic will be next week. This week is for THE GIRLS!!!#Tade is adorable and a lot of fun to draw. I really love her friendship with Izutsumi.#speaking of...IZUTSUMI IS FINALLY HERE!#Initially I wasn't going to draw Beni and Hien but I would hate to let the few fans they have.#So here's some Beni and Hien. For all five of you Beni and Hein fans.#Makeup girls are wild because they'll be like 'I'm getting ready to go out!' and then take 60-90 min in front of the mirror.#I adore the bonus comics where Ryoto Kui does the step by steps of how characters do their makeup and hair.#I personally know very little about those things so it's cool to see how thought out it all is.
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but Iām jumping into the fray. I think thereās a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so itās sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and Iā¦ Donāt agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of herā¦ ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didnāt matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. Thatās why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; itās always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
Laiosā words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, youāre great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, Iāll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, sheād follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, sheād follow him to the ends of the world, and thatās what she did.
She didnāt care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesnāt even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parentās directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I donāt think the motivation is people pleasing, rather itās being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that itās as simple as that, mind you, but letās talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). Theyāre the ones sheās devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didnāt care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think thatās the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we canāt tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that sheās in there, we just donāt know at what degree), that we donāt know her enough to be able to tell when sheās at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is whatās very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. Sheās so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he canāt read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see thatā¦ Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesnāt care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who sheās speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they donāt cross her mind then of course sheād be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesnāt make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isnāt exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see sheās ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me thereās this aspect to her that she isnāt as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and thereās something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so sheās friendly and hopefully thingsāll be smooth sailing. Itās easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you donāt care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesnāt do what she does because she lovesĀ them, but becauseĀ sheĀ loves them.
One situation thatās interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what Iām trying to get at, is Shuroās proposal to her. Iāve seen people saying she hesitated because she didnāt feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I canāt say no, I donāt want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but itās actually canon in the Adventurerās Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didnāt feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but itād have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense sheād want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, thereās even a bit on it on Laiosā Adventurerās Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, itās an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brotherās needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldnāt she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah thatās convenient for me, but where itās everything to him and heartfelt Iām able to be detached because I donāt care about it that muchā¦ Can I do that? Iām not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though itās not what youād expect, isnāt it?
And central to my analysis, where Iām going with this is, I feel like thatās the thing with her character, that she doesnāt feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didnāt mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didnāt seem to get why it was such a big deal, didnāt seem to care about how theyād experienced her choices.
So itās a tendencyā¦ And itās not that she doesnāt care, itās just that the way she measures whatās good for the ones she loves isnāt the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). Itās an overt but quiet kind of care, itās doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuroās proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because sheās thinking about reciprocity, about if itād be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And thatās a big part of her character isnāt it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, sheād been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurerās Bible explanation was released midstory, so Iām hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didnāt react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesnāt remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasnāt finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what Iām saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuroās proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? Itās rather layered, because canonically she wasnāt aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and weāre not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isnāt being mistreated (though doesnāt ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough sheās very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when sheās worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chiefās daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think sheād notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when sheās careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think itās a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. Sheās not sure wether to accept or reject Shuroās proposal, doesnāt want to lead him on? Sheāll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesnāt feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think thatās here too. She doesnāt get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesnāt change that she doesnāt want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, itās just that sheās learned growing up that she doesnāt have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. Sheāll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, sheāll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when heās pushing her away (because he doesnāt want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved themā And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didnāt notice the ostracization she suffered.
Sheās always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didnāt try hard to rectify the dogsā misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someoneās presence isnāt something you ask for, itās something thatās bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you canāt ask them to stay or to come with.
Sheās used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so sheās learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didnāt want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, itās the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasnāt that Iād feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I donāt regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but Iām sorry that youāre so much more upset about it than me". Itās the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
Itās the autism itās the aroace of it all, itās the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, itās the feeling like youāre somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. Iām not joking btw it isnāt uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm youāre uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you wonāt feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about itā¦"
Soā¦ Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I donāt think she actually cares about people all that much. Iād argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesnāt mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well itās pretty straightforward really, sheās not all that social and doesnāt see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but itās not as much likeā¦ A conviction or goal. Sheās too laser focused on a select few people. "Itās not that theyāre bad people, they just arenāt interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isnāt her whole world or that she isnāt the kindest soul out there then youāre saying she doesnāt care at all or sheās evil. And thatās actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but itās not in a way thatās quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they donāt have the same logic as her, donāt show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if Iām making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isnāt uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, thereās absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. Thereās enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason Iāve chosen this angle is I feel itās more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falinās character arc as Iāll go over throughout the next sectionā¦
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. Andā¦ā¦. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You canāt tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when sheās dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to justā¦ Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. Thatās what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
Thereās excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, andā¦ Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falinās choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragonās wasnāt done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. Sheās stripped of her agency consistently, and soā¦ Itās very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falinās own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think Iām going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laiosā wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, itās something thatās consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, itās always been Laiosā curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, butā¦ On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks itād be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If thereās someone you donāt like, you can gobble āem up in one bite. If you could fly, youād be able to leave this village right now." Itās a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
But youāll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesnāt want to leave knowing theyāll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laiosā care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isnāt to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isnāt to stay and see how well his friends will live, itās to go. Itās to leave. Itās to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. Itās again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didnāt, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, itās Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. Itās a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying theyāll get themselves killed, that time is passing while theyāre away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what itās like to have what sheās never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if youāre a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when youāre a beast and you can justā¦ Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because youāre at the bottom of the hierarchy, youāre now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
I think sheās on autopilot. I think sheās on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and itās partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) Itās familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And thatās what is weaponized when sheās a chimera, that instinct sheās been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesnāt matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesnāt mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because sheās trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So youāre probably seeing the duality Iām talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often donāt recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesnāt care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. Sheās undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, itās text, in the response to Shuroās proposal extra no less. And sheās so laser focused on her most loved people that sheās fine with being callous and risking othersā lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with herā¦ Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her tooā¦ In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way thatās not palatable. But she doesnāt care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasnāt for a while now, and thatās great.
Notes & nuance
Iām struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. Itās difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but thereās this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "itās ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldnāt fit well in other places but are interesting for Falinās character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, itās just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I canāt just pull it up whenever itās relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurerās Bible profile if you havenāt already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didnāt seem to mind others ostracizing her, itās easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid sheās bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leaderā¦ Thereās one istanxe of her caring actually, and itās about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laiosā said it and as I rambled Laiosā words are her world, but actually itās ambiguous. Itās only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, thereās no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other handā¦
Her Adventurerās Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falinās struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesnāt like being called cute over it, but thatās not how she wants people to see her. She doesnāt want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
Hereās a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts donāt seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe itās more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didnāt keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ātroublesomeā. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearancesā¦ A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurerās Bible profile) itās just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I donāt think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for othersā sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but thatās not personality wise itās needs and wants wise. And I do feel like thatās the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesnāt know what she wants because everything sheās done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesnāt change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesnāt ask things from people and doesnāt hope for more, hope for better. I donāt think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her itās less āappearing stoic to fit in moreā and more āyeah iāll just chill until Iām needed or something activates my enthusiasmā. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you canāt be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivityā¦ I want to speculate about Shuroās proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we donāt know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuroās proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I donāt think it was as simple as āshe wanted to say yes for convenienceā. Logically itās what would have been best, but itās not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesnāt think sheāll get proposed to again, itās that self-effacing tendency that yes itād be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isnāt in it, because if itās convenient then thatās more important than her feelings on the matter. Man alsoā¦ Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldnāt get with Shuro, but imagine how Falinās whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much sheās master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but sheās for sure there & influencing the dragonās action to some degree. Having a dragonās foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but thereās Falin calling out to her brother Laios, thereās the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly thereās the Adventurerās Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that itās her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, itās interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, sheās described as Thistleās guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so Iāll reign myself in and just mention it again. Sheās still at the heel of someone, only now itās someone who doesnāt care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that itās suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think thatās part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isnāt unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc weāve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "Iāll lay down my life for you" point? Iām so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isnāt it cool?" gestures of showing things to herā¦ Itās the only way she knows to ask, or maybe itās the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same timeā¦ I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. Iād usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but thereās a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo importantā¦ Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didnāt mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you havenāt seen each other in a while or when theyāre alone, and yes thereās potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin wonāt be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same wayā¦ I hope Iām making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they donāt know if thatās allowed, if theyāre going about the social interaction the right way, if theyāre allowed to ask that out of someoneā¦
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didnāt see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falinās actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldnāt see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course sheād see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcilleās world, Laiosā is at the center of Falinās, and I tend to agree.
Itās fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course thereās how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but thereās how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think thereās an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I donāt really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. āIf you die do it somewhere where I canāt seeā styleā interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I donāt vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isnāt needlessly against ghosts. And Falinās sudden mace hits are fun to me too because itās not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whateverās needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
Iām working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falinās dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laiosā is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesnāt care all that much, sheās very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesnāt really care because thatād require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but itās more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: sheās canonically very genuinely kind, but itās more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. Sheās passive, and softspoken because thatās just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the olā mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. Sheās shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but thereās also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. Thereās a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falinās case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
Sheās sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and thatās it donāt hope for more donāt ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how sheās not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
Thatās it, ty for reading. Even if itās a bit of a mess, hopefully youāll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Hereās my spotify playlist for her if youād like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-loveās important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we donāt#get that many moments with her. So thereās ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#Iām doomed. Iām getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. Itās mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity youāre expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#heās here too bc they are an unit#If youāre not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falinās character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairyās child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised sheās hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laiosā¦ Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#Iād like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. Iām not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if youād prefer. It doesnāt have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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thank you everyone for replying with suggestions and submissions!!! there was soooo many good choices! (and you guys introduced me to some new pairs - and some Iāve forgotten about š
- that i may do some more doodles for later!) I went with the most suggested pairs and a couple that Iād been itching to do before and never had the chance to. I had a lot of fun with this so thank you again for participating! š§”
#I wasnāt able to do full blown requests so this was a nice middle ground for me#but keep an eye out for December timeā im like 90% sure Iāll be opening requests again#itās been awhile#codywan#steddie#dinluke#serennedy#hannigram#Westley x buttercup#chreon#anidala#star wars#clone wars#stranger things#resident evil#resident evil 4#nbc hannibal#the princess bride#sw art#stranger things fanart#resident evil fanart#hannigram fanart#misc fanart
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Hot off the presses, it's the first (and probably only) issue of Vatore Magazine! Pick up your copy now to see all 22 (!) looks in detail, shop the must-have CC, and - most importantly - collect some new scraps of coveted Vatore lore. š
READ VATORE MAGAZINE (PDF)
So, yeah, guess who thought they were going to do a straightforward decades lookbook and ended up making things entirely too complicated? šāāļø The visual side of my brain is always tickled when CC creators put together little catalogs for their collections. That was my initial inspiration. Then I did a half-baked magazine cover concept and wanted to make a better one. I used this template as a base, and the headlines ended up being the most fun part. Anyway, I don't know how many people will click the link let alone scroll through the entire thing, but you'll be rewarded with several paragraphs of Vatore history if you do. I did this more to properly establish their timeline for myself than anything else, but I put a lot of care and time into it, so I appreciate anyone who reads. ā¤ļø
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 lookbook#sims 4 lookbook#story: hzid#which vatores are your favorite(s)?#mine are the '80s obviously#the '50s because they rose up like bad bitches in stolen designer clothes to reclaim their fortune#and the '90s because i'm not sure how well i captured the decade but i ended up really loving their looks!!!#caleb vatore#lilith vatore
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taking the baby grocery shopping: a very arduous activity ā part 1 cr. moreloveforhobi
#park jimin#jeon jungkook#jikook#are you sure#btsgif#jikookedit#btsedit#usersky#annietrack#userkelli#*g#ige maja#i haven't made gifs in like a year it took me 90 minutes to make the first gif god bless#at any given time from now till forever ur probably gonna catch me going 'cheese cheese cheese'#or 'taco taco guacamole guacamole'
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until i started rooting around in the world data with dfhack i didn't realize that dwarf fortress randomly generates dance forms for each civilization and they can spread via trade and contact. you cannot really engage with this system at all in fortress mode, and adventure mode is still in beta, so this is hilarious to me. it's like the procedurally generated musical instruments. the things that tarn adams chooses to simulate in excruciating detail are really random.
and yet each species still has only one language, the name generation system is patently ridiculous, and the topography is pure perlin noise. this is why dwarf fortress will always have a charm its imitators can never match. it's just completely idiosyncratic in terms of its concerns and aesthetic.
#dwarf fortress#i'm sure like 90% of the work adams and kitfox have been doing has just been grappling with the code base#god knows what this game's source code looked like after nearly two decades of development
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my favorite weirdly low tech sci fi thing is the PADD technology in star trek, where everyone has like 30 ipads on their desk at all times bc they seemingly each represent one singular email
#beep boop#of course this is because it was the early 90s and nobody knew for sure what email technology was going to look like in even 10 or 20 years#but i like to think star trek's future is one where we also just decided every word doc needs its own dedicated amazon kindle
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Alright, first post on this magnificent hellscape of a site, and it is day 1 of Ectober 2024. Iām gonna be real with you I didnāt understand the past/future prompt system so for today we just have a vague concept involving Clockwork that I drafted at 10 pm in my concept dev class (I was not paying attention to the lecture)
Thereās a lot I want to fix with this but this month Iām here to mass produce and theyāre not all gonna be bangers
November update: they were not all bangers because they do not exist, I did exactly one day or ectober
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he's her purse dog
based on THE photo:
#im like. 90% sure this has been done before but. its so themmmmm#tim drake#tam fox#timtam#red robin#robin#batman#comics#dc#tamara fox#art tag#fanart
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#rwby#art#my stuff#tyrian callows#cinder fall#mercury black#Salem rwby#sketch#shitpost#I realized it was June and had to sketch this up real quick#Iām like 90 percent sure someone else has done this but here we go :3#greenlight volume 10
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well, this thing was bound to happen sometime: here's my fanart and some doodles for @queruloustea's fic "that makes two of us, then"
I'M ENJOYING IT SO MUCH THIS IS LIKE THE FIC OF MY DREAMS SERIOUSLY
I LIVE FOR SEEING THESE TWO IDIOTS INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER /aff
#i can't convey how glad i am that there's FINALLY a great fic focused on their interactions#im normal about them i promise (lie)#hollow knight#the hollow knight#hk hollow#quirrel#hk quirrel#im like 90% sure i got the pose wrong on the first pic tbh#i hope it's not too bad at least#quirrelhollow#(btw im not using it as a ship tag necessarily#just for their dynamic overall)
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my attempt at a bunch of my fav artists styles :] idea by sootnuki!!
i would love to do more but this was already a huge challenge
if any artist here dislikes this/is uncomfortable with it/any reason i can take it down or turn off reblogs etc. otherwise i hope its ok š«” im not gonna tag anyone just gonna let it do its thing in the wild lol
#crunchchute art#my art#sam and max#sam & max#i hope it will be viewable as i dont know how much tumblr will crunch it#in any case i have it up on twitter also and it seems to be in good quality there#it looks like a 'the 7 human souls:' meme hfhdhf#hey i can put more thoughts in the tags right? so first i didnt really put enough effort into my own one and i kinda realized my style#is kinda mid ngl. cause im lazy + this coloring style might not really fit them. anyway.#for sootnukis style i adore the rendering of the clothing folds and stuff but i couldnt get it just right it remains a mystery to me#silcrow i tried to do a traditional drawing but kinda messed up some of the coloring especially on the pants#also couldnt figure out if its just markers or markers + pencils or what. so i kinda did my own take of 90% markers 10% pencils#mtsodie i love the color palettes and the shapes so that was a lot of fun to try; i like the outcome#narnour i absolutely love the tiny little eyes and how goofy and round they look so that was fun to try to replicate too#as well as the colors which i mostly color picked cause i couldnt get a red overlay right#zembo was a nice way to revisit a chalky brush that i havent used in ages not sure if i got it right though#applettoast i feel like theres some gorillaz influence or its at least something i used while coloring. as you might know i used to draw#gorillaz a lot and tried to replicate the coloring etc. and i think it fit here. correct me if im wrong lol#snuckeys was also hella fun cause i love the cartooniness and the details like the teeth showing gums and stuff. hope i did it justice#also the eyes! i love the big highlight and that the eyes are brown its cute#it was nice to branch out for a bit
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