#...just like the real LJ would be *cries* | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wily-one24 · 1 year ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @rowark (If "anyone who wants to" counts as tagging, and I am going to, so there. If that makes you angry, perhaps you need a nap?).

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 56.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,248,713.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The main ones I have written for include Profiler, Buffy, Firefly, Veronica Mars, Once Upon A Time.

And most recently Law and Order: SVU.

I have delved into other fandoms such as The Inside, Rizzoi and Isles, Supergirl, and Heroes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Memory Cloud - 1,413

Paint It Black - 1,320

The Blue Moon - 811 (it's the smut, isn't it? I know it, you pervs).

The Waning Moon - 783

Elmo's ABCs - 744

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. I respond to as many as possible. Especially if the fic is fresh. But I have responded to comments on fics that are months/years old. I do miss some comments, sometimes I'm busy and my brain says "I'll get to that later", but then my brain is... not perfect... and it forgets.

However, I love responding to comments. I have made friends in the comments. I have the best discussions in my comments.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, geez. Like, you're asking me, the Queen of Angst? There were LJ icons with "Jacqui + Angst = OTP". Maybe if I go by fandoms? Firefly's angstiest ending was "DIdn't Mean Nothin'", but also "Pieces" had a super angsty epilogue.

Veronica Mars' angstiest ending? I mean, they were mostly angst middles, weren't they? Super dark middles with hopeful endings. Veronica did bring out the optimist in me. She was so young, she deserves her life to improve after all the shit canon put her through. I guess if I had ever finished "Bitter Revenge" it would have been a tad angsty? But there would have been hope, becauses he would have had the baby!

Swan Queen, whoo. Um, OH YEAH, "You and Me (We Wanted It All)". HA, that was angst a'plenty. Even PIB and Memory Cloud had hopeful (if not happy) endings. But that one was... just some light angst for angst sake.

I mean I only have three fics with SVU, (two of which form part of a series), and only one of which is finished. BUT, I can with confidence say that "Wicked Game" ends pretty fucking bleakly and angstily.

(okay, so I went back to my VM fic masterlist on LJ, and whew, okay, so there's a whole bunch of "exploration" fics that don't necessarily change canon, just delve into it like "Neptune CA Mother's Club" deals with the shit poor mothers in Neptune, "Courting Disaster" devles into Logan's abuse, "The Tender Bruise" and "Bruises In the Mirror" were both angst fests that didn't end happily per se. Also, "The Ghost and Mrs Mars" was... not hopeful at all. Man, I *forgot* a LOT of them).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

🤣🤣🤣

Ok, let me think. I'm assuming we're not talking smut fics? LIke, happy endings? 'Cause I have a bunch of PWPs which could be considered 'happy'. But... let's say what a reasonable person might be called happy...

I think "Sleep Perchance" was pretty optimistic and its sequel "... To Dream" was set to end in a much more positive place than it began. "Whisky Bears" was just a fun fic, drunken fun on a spaceship. What more do you want? And "Boobs" was just silly.

"The Best Deceptions"!! That was such a good fluffy sweet fic. It's a WIP, so no ending, but still. OMG, I forgot this one. It's my only real non-angst fluff fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I used the laughing so hard I cried emoji too early, didn't I?

I mean, I would say usually not. I have spent decades in fandom and Once Upon A Time was the only fandom I got hate in.

A small amount for "The Blue Moon", because apparently there was a second 'Emma as a stripper' fic and I was accused of plagiarising, but this was later rescinded because the fics were totally different.

And also when someone decided to get really spiteful and tell me they lost all respect for me because I dared to find Emma sexy instead of fetishisizing Regina for all eternity.

OBVIOUSLY, the most intense hatred I got was for Paint It Black. The vilest, most bitter things were thrown at me. In the comments, in private messages. I got death threats. I had rape wished on me. I was told my kids should be taken away. I was accused of trying to lure in lesbians only to give them 'straight cock filled depravity".

Because there was a man in one sex scene. Meanwhile, it was never listed as a purely lesbian fic, and the two ladies have canonically HAD male romantic and sexual partners in the past. So... not sure what the huge vitriol was about.

I sure did learn to TAG PROPERLY after that, though. My god.

Get a grip, fandom, get a grip.

No other fandom has been that unhealthy. At least, not for me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. I have written both F/M and F/F. I have also written F/M/F, M/F/M, and F/F/F.

There's usually at least ONE woman involved. I have not, nor am I interested in writing M/M fics (boy parts iz icky).

Most readers find the scenes pretty hot. I tend to be descriptive and emotional when writing smut. Unless it's a PWP, there's usually a whole bunch of motivation and emotion involved. Even when it's a PWP there's usually a whole lot of characterisation in there.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I tend not to?

That said, I have written one.

It was a Heroes/Veronica Mars crossover, in which Sylar mistakes Veronica for his recently murdered (by his own hand, natch) girlfriend Elle and perhaps loses his very unstable mind over it a little. Leading to a slight case of kidnapping, Keith and Noah coupling up Buddy Cop style for some cross country chasing, super powered hijinx, and UBER ANGST. The tag line reads "What Happens when a Serial Killer and a Serial Victim Meet".

To be honest, it was kind of amazing and I loved it. It was working up to be Super Dubcon, but hadn't quite gotten there yet. I am sad that this remains a WIP. I would have loved to have finished this.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had some fics put on GoodReads, but they took them down when I asked them to.

I did have one of my fic scenes pretty much plagiarised in Firefly. What makes it worse is that they used it for a couple I hate. I let it go, though. That fic never quite got the same steam mine did. There was no point giving it attention.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of. I think it has been asked before, but I am a little wary of that sort of thing. I lose control of it if other people change it.

That said, I have had comments on my fics in a completely different language and I used Google Translate to both understand and reply. I will make the effort.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

I am jaded. I am very particular about my fics and, as said above, I do not like to lose control over them (what, control issues? Who? Me?)

I am also heavily jaded for things like fic swaps. It's my own fault, I realise this, because I would put so much effort and write thousands upon thousands of words of fic and get a 500 word piece back and it really put me off. Again, I know it's my fault, I chose to put that much effort in, but still.

Wait...I am having vague recollections of something like a fic round-robin? I could not tell you what fandom (I assume Firefly, but not sure), and certainly could never link back to it or even know how to google for it. I guess that counts? BUt I doubt it, because I can't even tell you what the fic was about or what my contribution to it was. So... no.

Hmmm, I was also involved in a Season Rewrite for Profiler back int he day, but all those fics are lost to the internet heyday and you'll never find them. Huh, I htink my episode was called "Lady In Red". (omg, THE MEMORIES).

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Geez. Asking the hard questions. I don't know. All my ships hold a place in my heart, that's why I write them. So, the answer is... I guess... if you've seen me write for that couple, then THAT couple is my favourite in that moment.

(I like, I have had a few fic requests that I've filled that haven't really been my cup of tea, Veronica/Lamb for instance, or Jayne/River, or Simon/River. I don't like them, but I have written them).

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them. ALL OF THEM. I mean, "Adam's Rib" had so many stories to tell and I could have gotten lost in "The Best Deceptions" world. Omg, that was such a happy, schmoopy fic. Let me go back up to happy fics for a sec...

"... To Dream", "Bitter Revenge", and "Girl int he Mirror" will be my sadness from VM.

and ALL my SQ WIPs. "The New Moon", "A Swan Is A Beautiful Creature", "The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares)", "Subject 3662", "Blooding the Water". *sob*. I'm sorry!!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Angst.

Detail.

Lots of people comment on my phrasing and pacing. The way I string words together and have breaks and just bring forth the imagery. It's never just "and then this happened and then this happened and he put his hand here and she put her mouth there".

No matter where I am planning to go with a fic, i always start from a canon point and keep that canon history. I try to keep characerisations believable. They may get into plots and situations that they would never in canon, but I like to hope I keep their reactions believable and true.

I like to delve into the emotion of it. You know the tumblr meme "Put that guy into situations". THAT'S what I do. And then I examine the ever living fuck out of it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't have a beta reader.

Which is troublesome, because my hands don't work properly anymore. At least, not as well as they used to. I have what's called dupuytren's contracture. It's a thickening fibrous band around the tendons of the hand. My hands aren't restricted, so much at the moment, but it does slow down my pinkie fingers. Which means when I touch type, there are so many mistakes. And I can't NOT touch type.

These come out mainly in things like double capitals (ever wonder why so many times in SVU fics I have the name "LIv" and not "Liv", it's because that capital 'i' is harder to spot. If I type "THe" I see it and fix it. But my eye seems to skip over the "LIv" and "HIs" words.

It also comes out in the spaces in the wrong place. I will type t he instead of 'the', or 'ith appened' instead of 'it happened'.

I spend A LOT OF TIME, going back and editing sentences I have just written. The amount of times I have had to go back and delete/edit words just in this post alone is staggering. It makes things take twice as long.

I have had to work really hard to get back into writing. I stopped for a great deal of time, many years, because I was so bothered by this.

Add to that, the kidney failure gives me brain fog, so I have to spend a lot of time trying to remember the specific words I want to use. For someone who uses words INSTRINSICALLY, knowing there is a specific word I want and not being able to access it in my memory? FUCKING FRUSTRATING, I Can tell you.

Another great weakness is starting a dozen fics at once and being unable to keep up and then being overwhelmed and losing momentum.

This is how I have so many WIPs.

I keep that in mind now, which is why I am limiting myself to two ongoing SVU fics and THAT IS IT. No more until they're finished.

THough I have actually been writing SO MUCH lately. At least once chapter a week. So this is good. Makes me happy.

I get the feeling that I tend to homogenise my characterisations a little. But this doesn't seem to be a complaint of any commenters, so I try not to let my imagination run wild with me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done it.

Firefly fic, by necessity, uses a lot of Chinese. I used to know the html to do the hover type and would have Chinese dialogue with hover type translations. It was fun, because as is the Firefly traditions, you could have the filthiest things in Chinese and the censors wouldn't pick it up. (My favourite thing I wrote translated to... something like "Your mother sucks rotten beef sticks in hell" if I am remembering correctly).

Alas, I have forgotten the html for that. I am sure it's just a google away, but... I don't really need translations for English fics.

I also did a bunch of research for Trigidasleng. I never really wrote The 100 fics, though I did write some drabbles. I probably did more research that necessary for the mount of fic I actually wrote.

But, yeah, I think if the source material calls for it, you should definitely put the effort in.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Who wants a laugh? When I was in primary school, 3rd grade I think, we wrote books. We got to type them on a computer, the teacher printed them out, then bound them and we drew the pictures and coloured them in.

I still have mine.

It's called "Bugs Bunny, Brooke, and the Giant Banana", which was a combination of Bugs Bunny (natch), mary sue insert of my friend Brooke, and James and the GIant Peach.

BUAH HAH HAH.

But truly? My first fandom was Profiler. This is the show that got me ONTO the net, introduced me to fandoms and message boards and fics. If it weren't for those people, I wouldn't be here now.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Don't ask me to choose a favourite child!

Are you kidding me?

I cannot. I can't even do it per fandom. I love them all, which is why I wrote them.

How could you be so cruel?

Tagging: YOU, if you want to.

#fic meme #jacqui writes fic #interesting thoughts #introspections on jacqui's mind

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intimidating-fettuccine · 3 years ago

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Hi, I think you wrote a "realistic relationship HC with Jeff" could you do one with LJ? I'm curious :>

Referenced post can be found here

*Reminder that these are REALISTIC and not completely based in my normal writing, but rather how I think LJ would be

Like with Jeff, Jack would be one of the hardest creeps for you to ever realistically date, and I'm sure that's an understandable point for everyone reading this. I think Jack would be much much harder for someone to date than Jeff, Jack being listed towards the very top of the list, as dating him would be extremely challenging and a huge risk.

Starting off, he's dangerous. I don't think Jack *wants* to hurt his partners, but if he needed to in his opinion I can see him intentionally causing you harm, especially if you happen to make him angry. I can see Jack doing LOTS of guilt-tripping in a real relationship, being very abusive and manipulative. I think he has extreme anger issues, depression, attachment and trust issues, etc. and it wouldn't be easy for him to date and trust someone unless the two of you spent YEAAARS working together trying to help him through all of his trauma and issues. It would be a long and hard process but it would be one that would be necessary if you truly wanted to date him.

He would also be extremely possessive over you. I think there's a very high chance he would end up locking you up and keeping you for himself, keeping you held up in his carnival and never letting you out unless he's accompanying you. He can't stand the thought of other people interacting with you and you ending up liking them more than him, so he panics and rationalizes that if you don't see anyone else, then you can't like anyone else more than him. He isolates you, possibly frequently injures you, he yells, he cries, he isolates himself, and he clings to you more often than not. He's very unstable and it's a lot of back and forth that just really needs help and assistance.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanons #laughing jack #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack headcanons #laughing jack headcanon

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smutty-ki113r · 3 years ago

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🎠Laughing Jack🎠|| Carousel

Fluff one-shot x gn!reader— only warning is angst (2.6k)

Inspired by: Melanie Martinez

After months of endless nagging you finally convinced Laughing Jack to let you visit his amusement park. He had claimed it was too scary and you would get creeped out but you weren’t one to take no for an answer.

Giving you a piece of candy so the trans-dementional trip wouldn’t be too hard on you. Tasting the sour lemon taffy he gave you and making a tense face as the flavor pulled at your taste buds and stuck to your teeth.

Your head getting dizzy as your surroundings warped and his room became red and white vertical stripes. Blinking a couple times as he leaned into your face, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” You told him, almost falling back at how close he was. As soon as your perception adjusted you looked for the exit to the tent you were inside. “Onward!” You said excited, marching comedically to the entrance flap.

“This isn’t exactly the safest place”, he called from behind, catching up with ease because his legs were so long. “You need to stay close to me at all times” you smiled at him, it’s not like you were complaining, “got that?”

Giving him a keen nod you stepped out of the grand tent. Squinting at the sky, which was tainted a dusty gray, swirly clouds amber of scattered around in the background. The carnival was beautifully revolting, with littered attractions as far as the eye could see.

The place looked somewhat abandoned, if you get past the faint cries of children, from their souls stored in toys. Rides that once colored a vibrant red had paint chipped, specks of dull metal flaked over the bars.

Game stands broken down and leaning unsteadily, disturbing toys with eyes and limbs missing hanging from the top. It looked like it might fall down at any minute, but you couldn’t help but notice the newer looking boxes of supplies lying around next to the stands.

Fairy lights hung from the tilted signs, decorating the food court. A fresh trail had been made between the rides.

It warmed your heart that he had made subtle efforts to fix the place up, he certainly didn’t think you would notice.

Looking back at his nervous smile, Jack was terrified you would hate the place. You thought all but the opposite, giving him a big grin. Your expression relaxed him, assuring him that you wouldn’t think he was a freak and leave. His whole demeanor shifting, making him more comfortable and even enthusiastic.

Straightening out and giving you jazz hands, “what are you waiting for?” putting one hand on his hip to motion you to the park with the other “lets go have fun!”

Following behind you with a giggle as you approached the carnival games. The ring toss looking somewhat appealing in between the other activities, so you told him you wanted to play.

“Basically you get 5 rings, if you get at least 3 in the pins you win a prize” he explained.

“Alright alright lemme try” you waved him off, snatching the rings and giving one a toss. It missed, you brushed it off. The second one made it in and Jack gave a little cheer, it still wasn’t enough.

Hyperfocusing on the pin in the middle make a soft throw upward, the edge hitting the top of the pin and falling to the side. You gave a groan, calculating your last two throws.

Your forth throw made the pin to the side, and you only had one more try left. Aiming for another pin at the side to release, the ring clanging against it and falling to the floor.

You went to look at Jack with a frown but he wore a happy expression, “you won!” He exclaimed. Confused you turned back, finding the ring you had just tossed around the last pin. You were completely certain you had missed it, racking your mind for an explanation as jack handed you a small purple bunny that was missing an arm.

Realizing that Jack had manipulating the game so you could win, throwing him a knowing glance. He just happened to be looking away, whistling guiltily.

Squeezing the bunny you moved onto the next game, it was ballon dart toss. The stand had pale red and black balloons scattered across a board. Excitement was written all over his face, you cocked an eyebrow in question.

“It’s a two person game!” He said, “whoever pops more balloons wins!”

He handed you four darts and kept four for himself, “you can go first” he motioned with a grin. Pacing the dart in two fingers a couple times before throwing at a balloon. Giving a groan when you missed and waiting for him to go.

Being as skilled as he was he managed to land one in a bullseye. “Oh it’s on” you dared, getting one point yourself. LJ got the second one too, staring at you intensely as you evened out the score.

Giving him a small smile as the dart broke the surface of the balloon with a sharp noise “pop goes the weasel right?” You laughed, referring to his famous song.

He looked at you almost in shock, taken aback by your joke. Shaking himself into reality he broke out in a light blush, a part of him touched, as if you were accepting him for who he was.

Too distracted by your eyes on him to play the game with concentration. Missing the third one with a growl he waited for you to take your turn, which you lost. It was the last point and Jack was a shoe in, so obviously he took the victory.

You were happy for him, passing along a “good job!” as he retrieved the big brown teddy bear that was half his size, and all of yours. It was missing an eye, thin stands of makeshift fur pulled out and a silky red bow around it’s neck.

“Here” he said, dangling it in front of you.

“For me?” You asked, “but you won”, trying to look up at him but the bear blocked most of your view, only letting you see above his nose.

“Just take it” he practically pushed it into you, making you blow out an oof.

Holding it to the side at the torso with one hand you broke out in a grin “thank you for the plushie” you said, hugging him from the side and squeezing his torso “but I want you to be my teddy” you laughed. He looked incredibly flustered, frozen as you broke away.

“You’re big and tall” you tippy toed up to give his shoulder pad feathers a ruffle “and fluffy”

The man looked like he was about to faint so you decided to knock it off, laughing and telling him you wanted to go on the carousel next. Quickly, LJ happily led you too it, skipping in front of you (mostly to hide his blush).

Standing at the controls to cue a round, watching you walk around to find a pretty horse. Given, all of them had dark spots and chipped paint, but they worked all the same. Leaving the bear on another horse and climbing onto a white one that had a yellow saddle, intricate lacy designs patterned on the sides. Royal blue reigns across it’s chest and a lion on a crest.

It was beautiful, and you traced your fingers on the drawing. It must have been stunning, but the weathering of time and agony had gotten to it. A painful reminder of what was, a mere reflection of the chipping away of a joyful being.

Prying away from your thoughts as you felt the vibrations of Jack stepping onto the walkway- with one of his big smiles. Even after everything, he still wore a smile. It made you want to tear up, he really needed all the love he could get.

He was too tall to get on a horse, so he just stood by you. His big hand gracing the golden pole and holding on, watching as you peeked up at him. Even though his eyes were constantly bright he displayed something…deeper. It was a sort of shine, a sparkle if you will, luminosity glazed over in such a way that one can only get lost in its vastness.

The looped music in the background was secondary as you rose up and down with the horse, giving Jack a little smile and thanking him for bringing you here. “I’m having a lot of fun with you” you noted.

“Well of course you are! It’s a carnival” he said with joy.

“No I mean with you” you clarified “you’re pretty great Jack”. This time he didn’t avoid your gaze, his mouth open slightly, not knowing how to react to the sincerity of the compliment.

The ride slowly came to a stop, and you were feeling slightly tingly. Maybe it was the air, or the loss of focus. “How about a roller coaster?” You dared, to which he gave a tense face.

“Those are pretty broken, you’ll probably die riding one and that’s not what we want” he said, stepping off the carousel. “How about some cotton candy instead?”

You nodded your head vigorously, following him in the pursuit for the fairy floss, the bear falling behind forgotten. Passing by more unused rides that had long past rusted and a house of mirrors to get to the food court.

Jack humming happily as he dipped a paper cone into the bowl of revolving fibers of sugar. Whipping up a swirly pink and blue cotton candy and handing it to you with a proud smile.

He went to make another treat until you spoke, “I’m not that hungry so we can share” you proposed. “If you want”

“Are you sure?” He asked, concerned that you didn’t have much appetite. “Do you want some candy or maybe a funnel cake?”

You shook him off, taking a bite out of the cloud-like dessert. It was absolutely delicious, honeyed and saccharine on your tongue in a blend of flavor you had never tasted had before.

Soft as it disintegrated onto your mouth, leaving behind a remanence of something too sweet. Bringing it up to Jack, who was so tall you had to extend your arm fully to get it to his mouth.

He simply laughed at your struggle, taking a bite before giving you a thin smile and taking it from your hand. Sitting down at a bench so that you could both share comfortably.

By the time the candy had finished you noticed little bits of the silky texture stuck on his nose. Painfully stifling a laugh you turned away.

“What’s so funny?” He asked with a genuine smile.

When you didn’t answer his tone changed, “what’s so funny huh?” he sounded a bit angered.

Hiccuping through your laughter you faced him, leaning in real close to his face, enough so that you could feel the heat emanating from it; taking a bite of the pink woven candy on his nose and holding it in your teeth.

His face went red at the sight, embarrassed that he had cotton candy on his nose. Well, that and for a moment he thought you were going to kiss him.

Noticing your hands were all sticky you asked him if there was a sink somewhere. After both of you washed your hands you sat back down at the bench.

The sky was going dark, the poofs of dusty cloud fading in with the night but still managing to remain visible. You heard a whirr as Jack turned on all the rides at the carnival, lighting the whole thing up.

You sat in awe, a mere spectator in the empty yet live amusement park. Admiring the music that added to the ambiance, watching Jack approach you.

“Wanna take a walk?” He asked, but there was something…off. LJ seemed nervous as you got up and walked next to him.

He had been thinking about it for a while now, probably even before he brought you to the carnival. Even though he had washed the gooey candy from his hands they were still sticky, but it was from sweat. Giving you side glances as you paced the trail with him.

Debating to himself whether or not he should do it, if you would hate him for it. Telling himself that he would regret it if he didn’t, but thinking about the potential negative reactions you could give.

Passing the carousel once again as you noticed the usually loud and happy clown was silent, lost in thought as he stared into the distance, his lips forming a tensing line.

Wondering if he was ok, but brining up the topic might make him uneasy. Perhaps you being there at his haunted amusement park was ticking him off, or if you taking that cotton floss off his nose was too much, or if you were pushing your luck, or worse what if you triggered hi-

All thoughts faded from your mind the moment you felt a slow, shaky hand grasp onto yours. You had to look to where he held you because he was so gentile you thought it was the wind. Holding onto you softly enough that it felt like a feather, somehow still creating a little pocket of warmth between you.

A glowing thump of heat pulsing inside your chest, happiness digging into your cells and giving you the confidence to squeeze his hand.

He let out a sharp inhale at the feel, still avoiding your gaze as he relaxed into your touch. Not daring to move his hand too much or he might risk ruining the moment, afraid of hurting you with his claws.

Approaching the Ferris wheel he finally spoke, “this is probably the one ride that won’t break”, not a peep about holding you. “Do you want to go on?”

You finally caught his gaze, absolutely melting at the smile in his eyes. Responding with a ‘yes’ and letting him open the door for you. Sustaining his grip with you as he helped you on, not letting go even after you sat.

The cart wasn’t exactly small, but with a guy the size of Jack it was pretty compacted. It’s not like you minded, the lack of space gave you an excuse to bunch up alongside him. The feathers from his pads tickling your face as you rested on him.

Watching the view as the cart took you higher and higher, it was perfect. The evening set in the rich obscurity of the night, lights of the festival blinking as if they had a life of their own. The bulbs on the stands making z’s as they illuminated the red and white drapes of the far off tents.

Jack held your hand with such care and caress, you gave him a reassuring press to let him know it was ok. He was so enveloped with the passionate act that he squeezed as well. Letting you feel all the dips and curves of his hand. Clutching onto you, as if you might disappear too.

Facing him to cup his cheek with your free hand, caressing him and tucking a stand of hair behind his ear. Trailing your thumb across his skin and feeling him lean into your touch, swearing that between the lines on the pad of your finger there was a tear that you had wiped away.

Getting lost in the breaths you shared as you inched closer to his lips, giving him a second of warmth longer to prove that you weren’t going anywhere.

#creepypasta #laughing jack fluff #laughing Jack #laughing jack x you #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack rants #lj #I love lj #creepypasta fluff #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta lj #creepypasta laughing jack #creepy #🎴#♣️

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klaineharmony · 3 years ago

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AO3 Tag Meme!

Tagged by @bywayofmemory - thank you so much!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

51. I have all of my three-sentence fic in one catch-all “fic,” though - I don’t do as much of it as some of you! I tend to write longer stories.

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

557,450. (Wow!! That’s more than I thought.)

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

There are 34 fandoms in the list on my AO3 dashboard, but quite a number of them are duplicates (e. g., “Newsies! The Musical - Fierstein/Menken” and “Newsies - All Media Types” and “Newsies (1992)”). It’s really about 18, total. Some of them are Glee, Chronicles of Narnia, Newsies, The West Wing, Harry Potter, Sherlock, MCU, and Little Women.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mending Our Mistakes (Little Women, Jo/Laurie)

Wounded With His Wounded Heart (Sherlock, Post-Reichenbach, Sherlock/John)

Silver and Gold Crowns (Chronicles of Narnia, PC movie ‘verse, a sequel to Lirenel’s Terror Gold)

Balancing the Scales (Chronicles of Narnia, focusing primarily on Peter and Ed post-VoDT)

Cries in the Night (Harry Potter, Harry/Hermione)

These surprised me a little bit! I would have guessed Mending Our Mistakes, and Wounded just because Sherlock is such a big and voracious fic-reading fandom, but not the others.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Always! I love getting feedback from readers, and I started off really participating in fandom on LJ, where the back-and-forth in comments was much more like conversation. I miss that.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hate angsty endings, honestly, and I don’t write them much. There can be angst in abundance in a fic, but I want my happy endings! That said, the two angstiest things I’ve written are probably Requiem (The West Wing, a futurefic meant to commemorate the real-life 2011 Norway bombing) and Secrets and Ghosts (A Chronicles of Narnia/Imitation Game crossover).

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I do! Not often, but I like them when I do. I think the craziest one I have started (not finished, as I have way too many WIPs) is a Glee/Chronicles of Narnia crossover called The Substance of Things Hoped For. I also started a Narnia/White Collar crossover during TSF this year that I haven’t posted, because I keep hoping I will finish it.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

It’s very, very rare. I can recall one instance where I received a nasty comment on a Klaine fic, and once when I received a mean comment on a Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers fic, but those are the only two that spring to mind.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, but rarely. And I don’t have a kind, I don’t think? Except to say that if it doesn’t actually do something for the plot, and for the emotions of the people involved, then I generally don’t write it. Smut for smut’s sake is really difficult for me to write - it’s difficult to write anyway!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven’t, though I’ve taken requests or prompts from people!

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

It is utterly impossible to answer this question. I have an OTP for pretty much every fandom. I will answer with Klaine first, because they were my first experience with a really big fandom and a wonderful community of people. But Josh/Donna from The West Wing, Harry/Hermione from Harry Potter, Jack/Sarah from Newsies, Jo/Laurie from Little Women, Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter - there are so many.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

This is difficult - I wrote two stories really close together, one for The West Wing (Distraught Conditions) and one for Beauty and the Beast 1987 (Love and Hope). I’m honestly not sure which one was first!

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

We’ll Be There To Defend One Another, which is also my longest fic and the first story I’ve ever cracked 100K on. It’s a love letter to Newsies (1992) with polyamory 19th-century style and lots of historical notes (probably too many. This is my time period and I love talking about it.) But, oh, I love this fic and this ‘verse - I have snippets and notes for a whole series of stories, at this point, if I can ever finish the first one!

Tagging: @coffeegleek, @redheadgleek, @jackabelle73, @whatstheproblembaby, @wordshakerofgallifrey, @honeysucklepink , @sothinky, @thelittleredheadedmusician and whoever else would like to! :)

#Klaineharmony writes #meme things #about me

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lynelovespopculture · 4 years ago

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THE CHILLING ADVENTURES OF ZELDA: CHAPTER 16-THE NEW GIRL

CORDELIA SPELLMAN, NOW 12, FEELS UNEASY AROUND THE NEW GIRL IN HER CLASS…

Cordelia Spellman, smiled at herself in her full-length mirror, as she finished buttoning her blouse and admired her new skirt. Then she sat down at her vanity and picked up her golden chain with a single crescent moon attached. Ever since her parents had given her the necklace as a Yule gift 6 years ago, Cordelia never left the house without her necklace. Whenever she felt anxious or upset, Cordelia would hold the half-moon and pray. Guess being the daughter of a high priestess made you believe a little more. It was a long-standing family joke that if Sabrina’s black headband was her trademark then the necklace was Cordelia’s. After fastening the chain to her neck, Cordelia gathered her school books together and putting them in her backpack when she heard a bird. Turning around, she saw a dove in a tree right outside her bedroom window. A dove that Cordelia knew well.

“Hello, October.” Cordelia greeted the dove before grabbing her backpack and exiting her room. Out in the hallway, Cordelia encountered another animal. A huge brown greyhound lay across the floor, directly in Cordelia’s way. However, this was no mere dog. This was the familiar of Cordelia’s brother, Jake.

“Come on, Apollo, move! You’re in the way!” The dog did move when Cordelia scratched him behind his ear. The dog and the 12-year-old walked through the living room together. As they neared the kitchen, Apollo ran ahead, searching for food and his master. Cordelia stayed behind just long enough to put her book bag down on a hallway bench. Inside the kitchen, Cordelia found the usual suspects: her parents

“Good morning, Mom and Dad.”

Her brother was now feeding Apollo a strip of bacon, and Vinegar Tom, her mother’s dog wasn’t far behind.

“Morning, Jake.”

And her cousin, who unlike her parents and her brother, didn’t live there but worked there and often showed up early enough for breakfast.

“Hey, Ambrose.”

Plus 1 new face around the table.

“Hey, it’s the good doctor.” Cordelia hugged her big sister before sitting down next to her.

“Good morning, Cordy!” LJ smiled. “You don’t seem that surprised to see me here.”

“I’m not,” shrugged Cordelia as she dug into her oatmeal. “Perhaps that’s because I just saw a certain dove perched outside my window not 5 minutes ago.”

“Damn that October! I swear that familiar of mine spoils all my surprises! Anyway, the official reason I’m here is to drop off some medical forums for the boys but I also wanted to check up on you. Are you sure you’re ready for what you need to do today?”

Cordelia couldn’t help but smile. Not only was today the 1st day of school, but it was also Cordelia’s 1st day of 7th grade at Greendale Middle School, the very class that her father taught since she was 4.

Annoyed, Faustus came forward with his cup of coffee. “Hey, you have been teasing your sister all summer about being in my class. I wish you would stop it. I’m a good teacher and you, Cordy, don’t think I’m going to be easy on you because I’m your father.”

Cordelia shook her head. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Dad. I going to pass 7th grade with hard work and good grades, the same way I’ll become a top student when I attend the academy.”

Zelda smiled at her daughter. “Now, that’s the right attitude.”

“Butt kisser.” Jake teased his sister good-naturedly.

10 minutes later, everyone left the kitchen. Ambrose and Jake went to work in other parts of the house, while everyone else was heading out the door. Zelda, to morning assembly at the academy, LJ was heading to the hospital to start her rounds and Faustus started the engine to his white VW bug as Cordelia climbed in beside him.

“So, did you and Mom have the talk today?” she asked her father.

“What talk?” Faustus asked his daughter.

Cordelia shrugged. “The talk, the talk you and Mom have at the start of every school year. The one where Mom asks you to come to teach at the academy and every year, you turn down Mom’s offer.”

“You know about that?”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Everyone in the family knows. What I don’t get is why you keep turning her down. When I was little, you told me that Ambrose is the most powerful warlock in the family but I’ve known for a long time that it’s you. Plus, I heard Uncle C and Aunt Hilda talking about how you used to work there and- “

“Cordy, I don’t feel comfortable talking about this.” Faustus cut in. “Yes, I used to work at the academy, but that was a long time ago, before the curse.”

“Of course!” His daughter spat. “Whenever I try to bring up anything about your past, all you ever say is it happened before the curse. Never mind that you always say you’ll tell me about this curse someday, but you never have. Dad, I’m 12 now, whatever this curse is, I can handle it.”

Faustus sighed as he pulled into the school parking lot. He couldn’t blame Cordelia for her anger toward him. She was right, of course, he brought up the ‘before the curse’ line a lot but what the child didn’t know was that he tried twice as much to tell his daughter what the curse actually was. Yet, he just couldn’t do it. Even when Zelda was right there beside him to support and help him to explain it all. But 1 look in Cordy’s innocent, trusting eyes, and Faustus chickened out every time. You’re weak, boy, you’ve always been weak. His father’s words were never far in Faustus’s mind. No words could be enough to express how thankful and grateful he was to the Spellmans for their unending understanding and support of him for the last 13 years. However, no matter how loved, safe, and secure his family would make him feel, something always happened, a memory, a nightmare, (last week’s was a real doozy) to trigger his never-ending guilt yet again. That’s why he declined Zelda’s yearly offer to return to teaching at the academy. It was no longer a school to him, just a scene of his crimes. He felt the same way about the church, though he found it easier to avoid the school. When he did go to mass, he sat in the very last pew, even if as the spouse of the high priestess, it was his right to sit upfront with the rest of his family. He liked to get in and out, to see as less of the coven as possible. Even if the coven and the family’s forgiveness had lasted for 13 years, Faustus still lived his life as if that forgiveness could be revoked at any moment. This is why he couldn’t tell the youngest Spellman that it was only because of her mother that he wasn’t trapped forever inside a wicked, murdering husk. Sometimes it felt like Cordelia was the only 1 left in the world who didn’t know of his crimes and, selfish or not, he liked it that way.

“No, your mother and I didn’t have ‘that talk’ today, we had it yesterday.” There, it was all Faustus was willing to say on the subject. Faustus parked the car and pointed. “There are your friends.”

Thankfully, the sight of her best friends, blond triplets Emily, Erin, and Erica Warner, was enough to distract Cordelia from their current conversation.

“Thanks, Dad,” Cordelia pecked her father’s cheek, left the car, and made a beeline for her friends. “Hi, guys!”

“Hey, Cordy,” Said Emily.

“Hi, Cordelia” Replied Erica.

Erin just waved.

Cordelia frowned. “What’s wrong with you 3? You all look like you didn’t sleep a wink all night long.”

“We didn’t,” mumbled Erin.

“How could we when Mom and Dad had another all-night screaming match.” Emily agreed with her sister.

“Again?!” Cordelia frowned, the triplets confided in her that their parents were having marriage problems for quite some time.

“Hey there, girls!” came a voice from behind.

“Sara!” All 3 Warner girls cried and turned to embrace the girl coming towards them.

Cordelia wasn’t sure what disturbed her more. The fact that she had never seen this new girl a day in her life or that she got a warmer welcome from her besties than she did. However, Cordelia easily dismissed the thought when Erin turned back to her.

“Cord, this is Sara Reed. She just moved 3 doors down from us about 2 weeks ago. Sara, this is Cordelia Spellman, she’s been our best friend since, like, ever.”

“So, I’m finally meeting the famous Cordelia Spellman.”

“Well, I don’t know about famous,” Cordelia smiled.

The bell rang so the girls headed inside the school.

“Are you kidding?” Sara told Cordelia, “the triplets talk about you all the time. To hear them tell it, your family owns the town.”

“Hardy,” Cordelia giggled. “Truthfully, they only own 2 businesses, but they are all over town. Let’s see, my uncle owns Dr. Cerberus’s books and spirits and he runs it with my aunt Hilda. She herself co-owns the Spellman Sisters mortuary with my mother but Mom teaches high school with my oldest sister, Prudence. So the mortuary’s day to day business is run by Ambrose, my cousin, and my brother Jake. Not too far from Uncle C’s shop, is the new office of my other cousin, Sabrina, who’s a therapist. LJ, my other sister, is a doctor.”

“What about your father?” Sara asked.

“Oh, Dad’s right here,” Cordelia answered. “Dad has been teaching 7th grade at this school since I was 4.”

“Which means that Mr. Spellman is our teacher this year.” Erin pointed out.

This made Sara confused. “Wait, I thought you guys were going into 8th grade?”

Emily shook her head. “Nope,7th.”

“I’m going into 8th.” Sara declared.

“I thought she was 12, like us,” Cordelia whispered to Erica.

“She is, but Sara is so cool, I’m not surprised she skipped a grade.”

“Oh yeah,” Cordelia smiled. “What makes her so cool?”

“She’s a Wiccan.”

Her friends didn’t notice when Cordelia froze and her smile disappeared.

Nina Robinson was the school’s new 8th-grade teacher and she was not at all happy to be there. Some teachers’ passion was children, but Nina’s true passion was men. That was got her in her current troubles. If her boyfriend-correction, ex-boyfriend, had simply told his wife about them, he probably could have avoided a political scandal. Yet here Nina was, in a backward hic town instead of her beloved New York.

How am I going to find Mr. tall, dark and handsome here in the middle of Nowhere, USA? Nina thought to herself just before Mr. tall, dark, and handsome walked by.

Luckily, Nina was standing right next to Theo Putnam, the vice-principal of the school. “Um, Mr. Putnam? Who is that?” Nina asked, pointing.

“Oh, that’s Faustus Spellman, he’s been teaching 7th grade here for 8 years. His niece, Sabrina, is a childhood friend of mine.”

Nina could care less about childhood friends as she checked out this Faustus guy and she liked what she saw. Most women would back off when they saw Faustus’s wedding ring, but not Nina. She liked a challenge.

“So, how are you today, Mr. Wilson?” LJ smiled at her favorite patient.

“Much better now that you’re here.” Mr. Wilson took LJ’s hand and kissed it.

“Well, I’m certainly glad that those 3 surgeries didn’t rob you of your charm.”

LJ turned as the door opened and there was a man LJ didn’t know. “Excuse me, Mr. Wilson? I was sent here to check your I.V. and do some bloodwood.”

“Well, do it, then. Can’t you see I’m trying to flirt here?”

LJ chuckled as she moved to allow the stranger room to work. LJ also check the chart at the end of Mr. Wilson’s bed. “Everything looks good here. I��ll check back on you this afternoon.”

LJ and the man left the hospital room together. “I’m sorry, but have we met?” LJ asked the man out in the hallway. “It’s just that I’ve worked here for the last 5 years and I can’t place you.”

The man smiled. “Nor should you. I’m part of a group of interns that just transferred here from Moon Valley.”

“Oh, okay. Well, welcome to Greendale Memorial Hospital. How are you liking it so far?”

“I like it very much. I mean, the people are great. There’s only 1 thing I’m nervous about. My pals keep telling me how tough our supervisor is. I haven’t met him yet; some guys say that our new supervisor is some hard ass resident named Dr. Spellman. Oh, where are my manners?” I’m Peter, Peter Watson.”

“LJ. LJ Spellman.”

Peter stopped walking. “You’re kidding, right.”

LJ kept smiling as she shook her head. “Afraid not.”

“Look, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“After I get my foot out of my big mouth, how about I apologize properly by buying you a drink after work?”

LJ’s smile got bigger. “I would like that.”

Over the years, some found it odd, that everyone at Greendale middle school, both staff and students alike, all had their lunch break at noon sharp. Yet today, it was a blessing. For at 10 after 12, a fire broke out in the southeast end of the school. Far away from the cafeteria and the teacher’s lounge. By 12:30, all the fire alarms were screaming at full force and the firetrucks were arriving just as the yard was filling with people. By 1 pm, the principal and vice-principal were busy calling parents to tell them not only about the fire but also the happy news that no one was hurt. To give the school a chance to air out all that extra smoke, afternoon classes were held outside, made possible by the nice weather. Although the flames were brief, it did ruin 2 rooms. The library and the 8th-grade classroom were burnt and would be unusable for months. By 3, it was safe to come back inside. By 3:30, the school was over and Cordelia was putting some books in her locker before heading into the girls’ bathroom. Cordelia pushed open the door and froze. There, among a dozen lit candles, were her 3 best friends and the new girl, Sara, all hovering over an Ouija board.

#chilling adventures of sabrina #caoz #chapter 16 #fanfic #zelda spellman and faustus blackwood #spellwood #zelda spellman #faustus blackwood #hilda spellman #ambrose spellman #sabrina spellman #cordelia spellman #lj spellman #Jake spellman #please comment #please reblog #yes i know i've already posted a link to a03 but i've always posted on here too so...

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vulgarweed · 5 years ago

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Thank You Good Omens

This post is going to be stupid long, because I’ve actually managed to fall in love with Good Omens three different times in my life!

In May of 1990, I was a college student in a hippie town in Ohio that had a great comics/SF book shop (STILL THERE), and because staff knew I loved Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series, made sure to point out to me that Gaiman had just co-written a novel and I might like it. I bought it. I did like it, very much.

Despite spending a lot of time on co-op in NYC and seeing Sonic Youth live as often as possible and going hard for the sex & drugs thing, I had just fallen off the turnip truck from a tiny Appalachian town of <300 people with a HEAVY emphasis on hellfire-and-brimstone religion. It permeated everything, including school (Yes, public school. Didn’t matter)

A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I had a fervent Christian phase when I was in my tweens. Despite my parents being non-churchgoers, I did go to church. (They’d drop me off and pick me up). Peer pressure was so strong, it was impossible not to. Being thought of an atheist or Satanist would lead to shit, the beating out of.

And at a revival, I GOT IT. Slain in the spirit, speaking in tongues, the whole bit. I was ALL IN. I hectored my parents and cried because I didn’t want them to go to Hell. And yet, it went away just as fast. I am a spiritual person, don’t expect that will ever change, but I had this super intense faith for a while, and then I lost it.

So when I read Good Omens for the first time, I felt weirdly healed. The mockery of that sort of end-times theology, that also had a sort of gentle humanist kindness at its heart, with its failboat antihero demon and angel protagonists and an Antichrist who really just wanted to hang with his friends and saw taking over the world as a responsibility he didn’t want rather than something desirable…

It got to me. Right in the feels. The fact that it’s a comedy is KEY to its effectiveness - laughter is powerful healing magic, and GO turned the light of satire right onto some of my deepest and most secret fears.

That’s also about the time I found my real path. May 1 (Beltane) 1990 is ALSO the 30th anniversary of my Wiccan coven initiation. (And I’ll be in a Discord chat with my old coven tonight, we have all stayed fairly close) My practice has varied a lot since in the details, but not in the faith core.

That’s round ONE of my Good Omens love. Round TWO was in 2004. I was heartsick and gutted by W’s re-election even though I saw it coming. Honestly I think seeing the Religious Right still hold so much power was a literal trigger, I see that in hindsight now. (The projectile vomiting was a clue)

I decided to cope by attempting to read the Left Behind series, in an “understanding how the enemy thinks” way. Although of course I already knew that all too well. I was reading Fred Clark/Slacktivist’s brilliant page by page takedown, and then I remembered my old friends from that book I loved in college!

Surely I could handle Left Behind if I had Aziraphale and Crowley and Adam and Anathema and the rest mentally sitting next to me and helping to MST3K it! I made it through a book and a half of LB, but the GO reread was worth the price.

I was into fanfic by then, so I realized….”Ah, I bet there is fic. I bet people ship Aziraphale and Crowley.” I was not disappointed. The lower-tadfield comm on LJ at its peak had more than 1000 members, and there were DeviantArt groups and mailing lists and a fair amount on fanfiction.net. So I went ALL IN and I got very productive.

I co-founded the GO Holiday Exchange in 2005 (which I still co-mod, and it’s the longest running job I’ve ever had). I met so many friends there - special shoutout to Merlin/Quantum Witch, my dear friend and collaborator, whose illustrations brought my words to life. I was ecstatic to find that she lives within 2 hours of me, and over the last 15 years we’ve visited each other a lot. We got to meet Neil Gaiman together.

My third burst of GO love came with the show, of course. I went to visit Merlin and we watched it together, and squealed. Particularly through the first half-hour of Episode Three of course. GO fandom has produced a LOT of historical fic for obvious reasons, and it looked like a highlights reel.

Also, there used to be wank in the fandom about how Crowley’s name is pronounced. WE WERE VINDICATED. (Certainly he was named after the real sinister historical A. Crowley, right? Who once wrote a doggerel verse mentioning his name rhymes with “holy.”)

There are things that as a longtime book fan, I don’t like or am ambivalent about in the show, but I think the heart of it was captured so very well. Since the first read 30 years ago, I’ve also read almost all of Pratchett’s Discworld, and his style of discoursing through humor just sits right on my brain.

(Pratchett got me through 2007-2008, when I lost a home, a longterm relationship, and a dream job just a few months apart. Bless you Pterry, you are missed.)

So Thank you Good Omens! You’ve brought me laughter, comfort, creativity, friendship, and a permanent influence on my worldview and spirituality. You’ve created the space for a fandom that tackles deep questions about theology and morality, often in the same work with slapstick comedy and smut.

#good omens #good omens 30 #personal post

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unsettledink · 4 years ago

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Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any.

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections.

Your main fandom of the year?

Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me?

You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy.

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it.

Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else.

Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series.

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good:

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad:

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent:

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??).

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck.

Leitmotif of the year:

Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt.

Favorite character to write about:

Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out.

Favorite kind of fic to write:

This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness.

And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I?

Biggest disappointment:

Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k.

Biggest surprise:

Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form!

I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more.

Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle.

My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire.

Most memorable comment:

So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’.

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

Aside from writing -

I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong.

I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all.

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people.

I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER).

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

#end of year #unsettled rambles

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kiki-mimi222222222 · 4 years ago

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Kill all of Creepypasta (pt3)

- Yes, you don't have to suffer like this.

Jeffrey took off Nairas white hoodie and put him on the ground. With the knife, Woods pressed down on the spot where Jack's heart should be. Jack shivered, he was afraid. The knife sank deep, piercing a rib and heart. Jack closed his eyes and stopped breathing. There was no pulse. Jeff stared at the lifeless body for a long time, and would have stared again if it hadn't been for the rumbling in his stomach.

"Damn it, I should have taken dried fruits. I'm hungry."

And in the corridor, the only food was the corpse of the Eyeless one. Jeff cut open his stomach and saw that it was empty: there were no intestines, no kidneys, no stomach... The entire digestive and excretory systems were completely removed. That's why Jack weighed so little when woods carried him on his back. But the lungs and heart remained.

Jeff was eating his friend's fried entrails. He didn't care that something like this was sacrilegious, didn't care that Jack was a mutant, and that his organs and blood might carry some kind of infection. Jeff was just hungry. Flies were flying around the corpse. When the meal was over, Jeff sat and warmed himself by the fire. But it was only beyond the maple tree that the corridor split, and Jeff had to choose again. He would have stayed by the fire, but his gut told him it would be better to keep moving. Only these two corridors are completely dark, it was pitch black. But Jeff took one branch from under the fire as a torch. He went down the right corridor. But it didn't turn out to be right, because after a while Jeff fell and started twitching from some seizures. My eyes started to double, and my ears started to leak. It was very difficult to get up, because it felt as if the body was petrified. As if in spite of himself, the torch went out. I can't hear anything, except for my ragged breathing. The silence began to be eclipsed by giggles, growls, shouts, and cries. And these sounds formed a hum that made Jeff's head start to crack and his eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Startled, he reached into his pocket and lit a match... And the was horror on Woods' face when he saw the pieces of meat wrapped around the walls of this corridor, in which either corpses or something else were stuck. There was no doubt in Jeff's mind that this was hell. After all, the most interesting thing - this bloody mess had twitching eyes and mouths, chewing and muttering something. What's on top? As soon as Jeff shone the match up, he saw a huge and sticky web, from which hung head down the corpses of people - so thin, as if everything had been sucked out of them, real bags of bones.

- D-DDD-LJ-eeeee-FFF....

Jeff looked at the mess, which looked like a red octopus with blue eyes. The guy backed away, bumping into a dirty and sticky wall.

"Where... How does it know my name?"

Tentacles began to wrap around the white neck... Jeff pulled out a knife.

-Get off! Get away!

He slipped and fell, but couldn't get up because he was pinned down by the tentacles. They wrapped around him more and more tightly, and the killer's view was getting smaller and smaller, but through the tangle of tentacles, killer could make out a tall figure in a black jacket and red tie, with vectors writhing behind him... And there was no face, just a plain white plane. Ringing in the ears and interference in front of the eyes....

After a minute, everything stopped, the tentacles stopped moving... Throwing off the abomination, “smiley” noticed that at first the mess only partially covered the corridor, and now the corridor has turned into a huge meat tunnel, like a huge gut. The corpses still hung from the cobwebs, and Jeff crawled over the meat on all fours in fear and weakness. There was slime and dirt and rot and worms everywhere, all kinds of filth that would have embarrassed anyone, even Jeff, because it smelled so bad. Jeff, despite the fact that earlier he had thought this place was hell, still tried to console himself with the thought that all this is not real, that most likely it is just his delusions. Jeff wanted to sleep, his body was weak, and he just started crawling like a worm, moving his hands. Then his eyes would no longer see normally. But Jeff was interrupted by a sweet female voice calling to him. Very caring and familiar voice.

- Mom?- Jeff turned his head to the right.

Sure enough, on the right side of the corridor stood a tall woman with brown hair and a beautiful white dress... And what little space that was occupied by Margaret was strewn with flowers. The maniac’s face quivered, and he turned away, clutching at his hair, nodding his head as if he didn't accept or understand what was happening.

- What is it, Jeff? Are you afraid of me? Or are you in pain?- Margaret approached. -You're not real... You're dead...

- What are you talking about? It's me....- Margared sat down and patted her son's head.

- No! Jeff stood up.- You're not real! You're unreal! You can't be here because I killed you! Killed with my own hands! And I will kill you again!

In a rage, Jeff plunged the knife into his mother's throat. He looked down, his hand trembling, his emotions and feelings mixed. And the mother... She didn't move an eyebrow. But her pretty smile was gone. As soon as the killer took out the knife, no blood flowed from the throat, but a dark and sticky substance. Margared's eyes turned black and she smiled arrogantly.

Along the face, as well as along the entire body, a gap appeared, from which resin poured out. His son's pupils widened.

"Mom... Why you? Why do you torment me, why do you remind me of the past? What are you, and what is going on here?"

- I'm not afraid of you!- the son started threatening Margaret with a knife.-What the hell do you want? Do you want to make me repent? To beg for forgiveness on my knees in tears? So fuck you! I don't consider myself responsible for your death, you forced me to this! It's your fault!

A minute's silence... The killer's eyes were twitching, and Jeff didn't notice the tears streaming from his eyes... The silence was broken by Margaret's snickering... The giggles turned to laughter, the laughter turned to hysterical noises... Margaret looked haughtily at her son with her black eyes. Black liquid began to gush out of the gradually expanding slits. This continued until the gap turned into a giant vertical "mouth", dotted with sharp shark teeth, and nothing was visible inside - only teeth and fangs. Jeff, as if scalded, tried to run, but the creature pulled him back with its tentacles, still laughing, and then it lifted the body off the ground and abruptly pulled the killer into its bottomless mouth. Like a Venus flytrap, the mouth snapped shut. Margaret was laughing loudly, slurping her flesh mouth. But her victim didn't want to give up. The angry laughter stopped and was replaced by agonized screams and moans, because Jeff was still alive and strongly clutched at the monster's ribs. Margaret could feel Jeff tearing at her insides. There were lines on her belly’s skin that matched the shape of Jeff's face and hands. A terrible and screaming face was visible in the skin, and Margaret was coughing up a black substance.

- Enough! Stop it! It Hurts, It Hurts! Graaargh...- it was really painful for her, because the murderer tore everything inside her, scratching the inner wall of her stomach with his nails.

Margaret, instead of just spitting out Jeff, started hitting herself and then pulled her legs up to her belly. Then the tunnel was filled with another scream as Woods managed to break the monster's spine and Margaret fell backwards. In the back, in the area of the shoulder blade, a cut appeared, from which a pale hand with a knife protruded. As if from the womb, Jeff slowly crawled out with a cry, smeared in the blood of the "mother". Because of her broken spine, Margaret was no longer able to move properly, much less get up. Taking advantage of this, Jeff inflicted several severe stab wounds to the monster's head and torso. The guy with cruelty and hatred kicked the monster-like woman, who was already weak, and in the end roughly took her by the head and broke her neck, which immediately swelled and turned blue.

As soon as one problem was solved, a second one appeared. The skin began to blister and ulcerate, causing Jeff to itch convulsively, tearing the skin in some places. He staggered back and looked as if he was going to slip again in the bloody mess, but Jeff caught on something. For something sticky. This sticky object turned out to be a spider's thread. Jeff began to jerk his hand back and forth, trying to break away from the trap, and when he did, the entire web that was at the top began to vibrate with a corresponding sound. His eyes bulging, began to look around, peering into the darkness. So far, there was only silence. But Jeff didn't relax; he knew that was what was expected of him. The lighter was still in the killer's pocket, and it was unclear why it hadn’t fallen out of Jeff's hands. However, the guy didn't give a shit about this incident, because after the cyborg, the bloody mess and the Ghost of his mother, he would now believe anything. He clenched it in his fist and pulled it out, then pressed his thumb to the mirror. But Woods was not so stupid, he knew that this way he could become an easy target again. Jeffrey waited... He was waiting for someone or something to attack him, because they don't let him relax here. The silence lasted about a minute. Even more. The killer listened to the sounds. It was something like a low rumble and squeak, not inherent in either man or animal. The rumble was getting closer, he could hear much more clearly. Following the rumble and squeak, the rustle and rustle of cobwebs began to be heard. Occasionally there were sounds that vaguely resembled the beat of guitar strings. Then there was a sharp hiss that caused Jeff to press the pedal, and the small light immediately illuminated a couple of cubic meters...

There was no one around the killer. No back, no front, no left, no right.... But woods didn't think so, because all the fun was at the top. The guy held the lighter up. In horror, he froze as if petrified. Above, spiders hung on the same sticky and disgusting web that dripped with a viscous liquid... Very real, huge spiders with huge fangs, red eyes that were disproportionately located on their round black bodies, covered with stiff bristles or spines. There were spiders on legs so long, smooth, and black that it seemed that they were not spiders, but furry red-eyed blotches on thin needles. Others had the most common, inherent in the species of arachnids, furry paws with claws. But anyway, they are spiders. Spiders the size of an adult tapir or boar. The spiders that had crawled toward Jeff because he had fallen into their trap like a fly and drawn them to him, shaking the web that worked like a time bomb.

They were still rumbling, but more briskly and menacingly, and some of them began to squeak harder. There were about a dozen of them. Jeff gripped the metal lighter as tightly as he could.

Must to run. That's what the Jeff’s had in mind: run, run, and run again without looking back. Uniquely... There are no other options... But will he escape? Maybe the monsters will be faster. He will simply perish in their clutches. Of course, he will be resurrected... But damn it, being torn apart and eaten by spider-like monsters is a terrible, unavoidable, and worst-case death. Jeff doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be a mummy and hang upside down on a web while spiders suck out his flesh, leaving only a shell, an empty cocoon.

Jeff ran very fast, as fast as he was strong enough and physically capable. But this was barely enough to be ahead of the spiders, because Woods is not some Superman, but a simple one... A mortal?

He screamed, swallowed his tears, slipped on the stinking meat, but ran. At that time, it was.... to Say that he was afraid for his life, that he was in a panic, that he was already exhausted, but the banal desire to remain unharmed did not allow him to slow down - this means to say nothing. Jeff was jittery, a kind of high-level panic that made him fly like a flash.

One of the spiders was right in front of Jeff and went to RAM. Man barely managed to duck, slip past, and keep running. But he was getting weaker, and these monsters were catching up with him. But the killer noticed something: the sounds of soft and nasty squelching were replaced by the distinct stomping of his feet, and with his own feet he felt a hard concrete surface instead of soft, slimy meat, and the bloody meat tunnel was replaced by concrete walls. It doesn't matter to woods how he is thrown from one point to another, he is overtaken by spiders. Ahead, Jeff saw a hole in the floor, so he had to accelerate well to make a good jump. But he landed, however, unsuccessfully, right on the bad leg, famously twisting it. But this did not stop him, he continued to run, but more slowly. It seemed foolish to hope for a miracle, foolish to believe in the possibility of salvation. But still, this missing killer was given a chance - the front door was boarded up with a couple of rotten boards. Jeff had a couple more jerks left, and he broke through the damn boards, but there was nothing behind the door. Jeff just stumbled and fell into the void... Into dark oblivion.

Jeff was lucky enough to grab the edge of something and climb in. By touch, he understood that it was a huge sewer pipe that was far below that door, so that the spiders could not reach it. Jeff was tired and sick from what he'd been through. The lighter was still in his hand, but it was already extinguished. The guy held it to his chest and squinted in pain, while the adrenaline rush made him shiver and tingle. He crawled into the depths of the sewer and ran into a grate that couldn't be broken.

"Don't sleep! Don't sleep! They will find me if I fall asleep, they will weave a web for me!"

Fear kept Jeff awake, and he could already hear the spider's hissing and screeching. The poor man pressed against the grate, groping for a hole in it - to no avail. He huddled in a corner and curled up in a ball, buried his face in his lap, and finally fell asleep. In his dream, he saw and heard nothing. Until a fire broke out in the darkness, where people he knew and loved, was burned, screaming in agony, already charred and disfigured. Jeff woke up abruptly and started blinking rapidly. In his dream, this moment seemed like a moment, but then it seemed like several hours had passed and he had a very good night's sleep. And the darkness was replaced by a light like daylight. Behind the bars, guy could clearly see the accumulated garbage and sewage, and then-a grayish sediment. The pipe was covered in bright brown rust. And the light... It must come from somewhere. Woods crawled to the edge of the pipe and looked down first: it was too dark to see anything. Then I looked around: there were several more of these pipes nearby. Finally, he looked up: the door from which he had jumped was along a sheer wall of rust and brown, a few meters from the pipe, and Jeff was really miraculously lucky. Even higher, several dozen meters from the door, large rectangular spotlights were attached, which illuminated this huge space. Jeffrey tried to get up on the pipe, but immediately dropped to his knees, hissing in frustration. He twisted his leg very badly, and the trap wound started to bleed again. Jeff didn't want to sit on his lap, so he sat on the edge, his legs dangling. He looked wistfully ahead, occasionally swinging his legs and wondering how he would go down. But then he noticed that the view was obscured by dark paws. The killer immediately crawled back and, leaning his hand on the wall of the pipe, began to jump to the grate and again desperately search for a way out. There was no way out. No hole, no crevice... The bars couldn't be broken. The spider was already moving toward its prey. Jeff didn't even look back, just lowered his head. There was nowhere to run. To fight? With a spider? Impossible, because it is very huge, and Jeff is not so strong to resist it.

"But I can try... At least try.”- the thought flashed through his mind.

Plus, he still had a knife that could rip open the monster's belly. The spider began to crawl faster towards woods, and as soon as he pounced, the maniac pounced back and pushed it down on its back, stabbing insect with a knife. The spider screeched, and its fellows immediately swooped in, surrounding Jeff and pouncing on him at once. Water mixed with various debris gushed out of the drainpipe and pushed the spiders out along with their prey. A second later, Jeff hit the liquid surface and sank, but then surfaced, choking and coughing. He was in a puddle... A very large, deep and dirty puddle. Woods survived again. Unlike the spiders- they’re on the ground with their legs curled up, which could only mean that they died when they hit a hard surface. When “smiley” got out of the puddle, he grabbed his right hand and whimpered something, and the hand became very swollen, its owner abruptly pulled the sleeve up. Two bloody holes appeared on his right forearm, around which the skin was red. Immediately, my heart began to ache. The killer bit his lips, trying to stifle his squeaks, and felt the poison coursing through his veins. But before it was too late, man took the belt from his pants and tied it just above the bite until it was blue, and then began to squeeze the poison and blood out of the bite with his other hand, but it didn't help much.

"Maybe it's for the best... Cause the spiders didn't tore me apart...”

Jeff started walking aimlessly, holding the belt on his forearm, but he heard something again. "Who's there?" Who's giggling?! the maniac gripped the knife and pointed it at the laughing stranger. There was no one near the killer, but someone's head was visible in the puddle. It was a thin, sunken face that belonged to a young boy. His complexion was deathly pale, his eyes were black with red pupils, and there were bloodstains under them, and his hair was light brown and wet. On top of his head hung a long green and equally wet cap. And his grimace inspired both horror and bewilderment: was he smiling or showing his white teeth? Jeff was sure that this drowned man was dangerous, and he was clearly laughing at woods, gloating over his sad fate. But the drowned youth was as still as a statue, and the immense emptiness in his eyes was mesmerizing. And the maniac, too, stood motionless, holding the knife in a death grip, his eyes devouring this dead creature as it devoured him. In theory, the fight that Jeff was already sick of should start again. His expectations were not met. The head of the drowned man slowly sank under the water. Woods stood for a few more minutes, thinking to go over and make sure the creature was gone. He noticed that the spiders weren't dead. They began to come to their senses slowly, moving their paws in the air and crackling their bristles. Fortunately, they were still stunned, and Jeff moved forward, picking up the pace, even though it was incredibly difficult for him. And there was another puddle to cross, and the poison was making the guy worse. Jeff was also afraid that if he went into another puddle, the same drowned man would jump out, but this time with the intent to kill.

"What's the difference? I'll Wake up anyway... Or not? It's even better if I don't Wake up at all."- The killer went knee-deep in the water.

Then up to the waist, and then up to the chest. He immediately felt worse, his heart began to hurt more, and his stomach began to rumble. "Your mother... The spiders had already recovered and were moving toward the puddle, although there were less than a dozen of them, but this did not save the killer's position. The stabbing pain in my heart from the poison, the cramps in my stomach, and the pain in my ankle from a sprained leg made it worse. At some point, when he reached the middle of the pool, where it was deepest, Jeff just went under the water and, having passed out, began to sink. He didn't feel the water flowing into his tonsils and lungs through his mouth or nose, or his body getting heavier and deeper under the water. But he began to see strange behavior. He was at the very bottom, feeling the water on all sides and the cold. And the feeling of being filled with water disappeared. There was no sense of suffocation, as if the need to breathe had disappeared, all the pain from the poison, dislocation, and indigestion had also disappeared. But most importantly, he clearly felt that he was dangling in the depths of the water naked. Deeper still, in the darkness itself, there was a brilliant greenish light, like the light at the end of a tunnel.

"Am I dead? Really dead? Is this heaven? Purgatory?"- As Jeff silently asked himself the question, someone else's naked body leaned against his back. Very thin and bony body. Then a thin hand closed over Jeff's eyes. By touch, guy could feel the tight metal shackle and chain around the other's wrist. He felt lips close to his ear. The creature behind him whispered softly in a young voice:

"Don't go into the light. It's too early for you to die.”- The voice was surprisingly clear in the depths of the water. :

#Creepypasta #my fanfiction #kaoc #kill all of creepypasta #my au #Alternative universe #jeff the killer #ben drowned #arahnophobia

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roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid · 5 years ago

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My Ryden Recs

not in any particular order

The Heart Rate of a Mouse Series (11/10)

~513k words

Ryan "Heterosexual" Ross and his incredibly popular prog rock band, The Followers, start their summer tour for their new hit album "Boneless" in June of 1974. However, Ryan begins to take a shine to their new roadie, the ever mysterious Brendon No-Last-Name-Given, who dodges questions about his past and flaunts his flamboyant homosexuality. After an assault by a member of the supporting act, Brendon and Ryan get their payback, and begin to bond. But much to Ryan's confusion and alarm, he starts to want something he can't let himself have, starts to feel something he can't let himself feel.

--Okay I kinda lied. This list is in no particular order EXCEPT for this one. This one is the best. Anna Green owns my ass. I'm not someone who's picky about first vs third person, but if you are, then just this once throw that out the window and read this utter masterpiece. Ryan's character development throughout is so touching, but my god he fucks up a lot. One of my friends who has gone through the process of buying the physical copies and annotating them says that Ryan majorly fucks up over 50 times. Emotional rollercoaster straight ahead!--

Freaks (7/10)

~45k words

Ryan's face was permanently disfigured when he was 12 years old, and since then, the only person who has ever stood by his side is his best friend Spencer. After earning the nickname "Freak" in high school, he finally accepts that nobody will ever want him, or ever treat him normally again. But after an accident that lands him temporarily in the hospital, he meets Brendon. They get along great, and Ryan begins to fall in love. One small problem though:

Brendon had been recently blinded. Neither of them know if it's permanent, and Ryan is sure that if Brendon knew about his face, he would leave him forever.

--I really liked this one. It makes you sit on edge and every single time you think that Ryan will finally confess and tell the truth, he blue balls you like an asshole. This story is so sad and so sweet, I definitely recommend. Also, there's some background Joncer, which is really cute. Definitely a worthy read if you're looking for some angsty fluff. Oh, and a little aside: the author, spazzyskittles on LJ, actually beta-ed a lot of Anna Green's Ryden fics, including THROAM! So do with that what you will ;)--

The Red Eyed Owl Series (10/10)

~403k words

As one of the best players of one of the best National Hockey League teams, the Chicago Hounds, Ryan Ross has everything he could ever want. Young, famous, and free to do whatever he damn well pleases, the world either wants him or wants to be him. But after a leg injury that could potentially ruin his career, Ryan begins to realise that perhaps he doesn't have everything. Perhaps some things can mean so much more than women throwing themselves at you every chance they get and receiving bottomless drinks at sports bars. Perhaps he could fall in love.

--This was actually recommended to me by @wandering-verses and it was 100% worth the read. I broke out crying in the middle of class during the second book, and I cried again at 3 am when I stayed up all night to finish it. It's one of those that fucks you up so bad that you can't read anything else for a little while after finishing. Now, both the authors are from Spain, so English isn't their native tongue, but it's so well written that I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't read the notes at the very beginning. An all time Ryden fave.--

Missing In Action (10/10)

~204k words

In where the American Civil War goes differently, the nation once known as the United States of America is instead separated into two: DURA and Beauregia. The latter didn't change much in terms of their economy. Slavery is still legal, and the kingdom is ruled under a tight, Christian monarchy. Their king is Boyd Beauregard. His only son, crown Prince Brendon Beauregard, heir to the throne, resides in the highly respected Saint Francis' Academy. DURA on the other hand developed quickly, a democracy founded on new technology and equitable ideals.

Everyday, bipartisanship seems farther away from grasp, and DURA, realising that cooperation is impossible, creates the DURA investigative bureau. Identifying the crown prince as the Royal Family's weakest link, they realise that he could become an infinitely invaluable asset to them. Agent Ross, under the pseudonym "Ryan Hastings", is chosen to go undercover, enroll in Saint Francis' boarding school, infiltrate the Prince's friend group, and gain his trust by any means necessary.

--I'm ashamed to admit that I let this one pass me by for a while. I read the words "American Civil War" and I automatically assumed that this would be a mid 1800's Civil War fic about closeted gay soilders, and I'm not against that, but the premise didn't really interest me. But once I finally caved and started reading, I quickly realised not only was the premise entirely different, but it was really fuckin' good. Read this!!!!--

Esoteric Contagion (8/10)

~18k words

He wakes up with a note stuck to his forehead that reads, “You traded your memory in a spell. It was worth it.” The note is signed George Ross. He wonders if that’s his name.

In which things are lost and gained and remembered and forgotten, in that order.

--Despite being the shortest on this list, I loved it to death. You will cry so hard, I promise. This story is so sad. The author can deal so many shocking blows in less than 20,000 words, and you will be completely invested. I don't want to spoil anything, but it's massively underrated, and it will fuck you up.--

Two Vatos Locos Series (7/10)

~311k words

When you have your first dream with your soulmate, everything changes. But after years and years of watching all his friends have their dreams and fall in love, Ryan started to wonder if he would ever has his dream. At twenty, Ryan started to get desperate. He went to doctors, therapists, even a fucking palm reader. No one could tell him what was wrong with him. There was only one explanation: his soulmate had to be dead.

Ryan spent endless hours laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, begging, wishing, praying to have his dream and meet his soulmate. One day, with blood gushing down his face and vomit coating his tongue, his prayers were finally answered.

And now, as he stares at this scared, helpless boy, with bloodied rope burns around his wrists and tears staining his cheeks, he wishes that they never were.

--The title "Dos Vatos Locos Lleno de Carnalismo y Inamorates" roughly translates to "Two Crazy Dudes Full of Carnality and Infatuation," which is definitely accurate. I did enjoy this fic; it was cute, sad, and very interesting, but if you are interested in reading, you will need to be patient at times. Some passages seem like filler and the writing in a few places is kinda dry or cringey. But it's still overall a good story though. WARNING: Brendon is underage for most of this fic, but nothing sexual happens until he is of age.--

The Way Home From Nowhere Series (9/10)

~158k words

After his parents find out about his relationship with another boy, Brendon Urie makes a snap decision to flee from his abusive home. After a quick makeover to hide his identity, he decides to thumb a ride. He starts living the life he never even dreamed he could. Talking openly about things like sex, condoms, and homosexuality- he's happier then he's ever been.

There's one problem though.

His new roommates, Ryan and Spencer, have no idea that he is the missing Mormon boy from the nearby town of Summerlin.

--Ladies and gents, welcome to my first ever Ryden fic! This will always be a favourite of mine. Both Brendon's arc and Ryan's are are so heartbreaking, and there were so many times that I wanted to reach into the story and give Dallon a hug. So many tragedies in this story, and not all of them solved. I don't have any empathy for Brendon's parents in this story, but I feel so hard for his siblings, and for Marc. I just wish they knew. This story is so heartbreaking and yet so happy. Will play with your emotions like they're a shiny new toy.--

Filthy Lucre (10/10)

~362k words

Ryan Ross is living the American wet dream. He’s rich, he’s good looking, he gets paid just to turn up at parties and he spends his days drinking, doing drugs and climbing into bed with eager and willing boys and girls. His parents and PA beg him to quit, and his brother turns up his noise at his destructive lifestyle, but Ryan is desperate to sink into the void, escape the memories of what his father's friend did to him when he was fifteen.

Brendon Urie is a man bordering on desperation. He whores himself out to millionaire bankers and CEOs to fund his boyfriend's heroin addiction and pay off his ungrateful father's medical bills. Things could be worse, though. He's lucky enough to have a roof over his head, to be living with the love of his life, to no longer have to hook on the street, but instead be privileged enough to turn tricks in the wealthy circles of Wall Street and Goldman Sachs.

Where a broken boy meets another broken boy, and falls in love.

--Normally, I would never recommend an unfinished fic, let alone fic that hasn't been updated in four years, unless it was it was so good and so engaging that it made me literally scream. Trust me when I say that you have not experienced true hatred until you read this fic. I have literally never hated a character more in my entire life, and I know who Dolores Umbridge is, for reference. The best thing about this fic, in my opinion, is that the characters, whether good guys or bad guys, do evil. And they do it on purpose. Because the characters feel and act as though they're real, and real people fucking suck.--

The Black Rose Season (8/10)

~158k words

Ryan Ross' life is essentially over when his scholarship is inexplicably cancelled and he will be forced to pay his way through school. As a young, broke college student, Ryan is desperate to find cash fast, but to no avail. Just when he thinks all hope is lost, a mysterious benefactor promises to pay his tuition in full, on one condition: Ryan is infiltrate Sigma Chi Beta, the most prestigious and cultish fraternity that Swan University has to offer. And if, by some miracle, Ryan succeeds, his mission is clear:

Befriend Brendon Urie, fellow Swan Sigma, and, more importantly, alleged leader of Sigma Chi Beta's secret society, which might not even exist. He is to document his findings, and send them to his benefactor. One small problem though: Brendon fucking hates his guts.

--Did I mention that Anna Green owns my ass? Because Anna Green owns my ass. This one is so fleshed out, and there are some moments where it really spikes you in the chest. Every time that Patrick comes onto the page, my interest piques, and I remember That One Scene™ that completely changed my perspective of him (You'll understand once you read). Besides... college AU? Secret societies? Betrayal? Enemies to lovers? Sexual tension? Need I say more?--

I have more fics to recommend if you guys like this list, so tell me if you want more fic recs

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helloandwelcometomariasblog · 4 years ago

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Review #64: Hymn of Death

사의 찬미. (I like the Korean title a whole lot more than the English title.)

I have read comments stating that this drama is not historically accurate, so I won’t go into that aspect of the story. What I will go into, are aspects that really moved me to write this review.

Before I even began watching, I had a vague idea of what the story was about as I had (stupidly) watched one or two clips on YouTube and read the comments. Therefore, I expected a simple romance story with themes of infidelity. However, I was surprised.

I know and you know and everyone knows that I began watching it for LJS. However, I had no idea what kind of character he would play. So far, I’ve seen him as an array of characters: Cha Eunho (playful, successful, cute and jealous younger man), Hamyung/Dalpo (unfortunately I can’t fully remember his character anymore), Kangchul (rich, determined, slightly conceited), and Namsoon (apathetic but warm-hearted student with a dark past and no academic passion). His character in Hymn of Death kind of took me by surprise. It was a character I had never really seen before in LJS. Ujin is quiet and composed. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it’s purposeful and poetic. He’s a thoughtful and serious man who doesn’t open up easily and puts up a wall around his thoughts and feelings. Scared that he will get too invested. Scared that he will actually fall in love. He’s an obedient son, who keeps his feelings bottled up until the very last moment. He’s an artist and a poet, who seeks beauty and feels it deeply. He’s a highly sensitive introvert. He’s a writer who knows how precious and life-giving words can be.

And I know, and you know, and everyone knows that I am very much attracted to that. I could even almost relate to him. I also use writing to express myself and to find solace. When he exploded at his father and said that these pieces of paper and those rare moments of writing are his shelter and escape, and asked, do you want me to live or die, I cried alongside him. When he spared his words, his compliments, but still expressed his hesitant but positive feelings towards Shimdeok, I melted alongside her. I’m just saying - those people are rare nowadays. People don’t treat words as carefully or worthwhile anymore. They just blurt out whatever they’re thinking (or not thinking). And yes, it was done with the face and body of LJS. I get it.

So let me cut to the chase here. I really fell for LJS’s character. I just can’t help but fall for these types of characters. Kyungsoo in 100 Days My Prince, for example. Those quiet but strong characters who love art and cherish it. Those who appreciate beauty around the world and are thoughtful and sensitive enough to not speak hastily. Someone with whom you can share thoughts on literature and film. Ujin was like that. And it was just so adorable but heartbreaking at the same time seeing him try and distance himself from Shimdeok, knowing that he was attracted. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop himself from falling for her.

One thing this drama did really well was show us the gradual process of the two characters falling in love. Not once did I wonder why they were drawn to each other. There are dramas where I ask myself why they even like each other. In those dramas, it seems as though they’re only liking each other because they’re the main couple, so they have to. But with Ujin and Shimdeok, it was completely believable. The steps were so clear. I could clearly see why Shimdeok was attracted to Ujin and vice versa. I guess it’s also the actors’ feat - their faces of falling in love were extremely convincing. I could see Shimdeok falling slowly for Ujin’s goals, determination, and love for writing. And it was SO CUTE seeing her act upon it (I love her character) - she was so adorably honest and straightforward with her feelings. How could Ujin not like her back? LJS played it very well, showing us how hard Ujin was trying to hide his feelings and be aloof and even cold towards her. However, with someone like Shimdeok constantly stepping closer to him, and being the charismatic and strong young lady she is, Ujin soon has trouble hiding his own feelings. It was just so incredibly convincing. When Shimdeok stands up during the meeting and encourages the team to keep going, you know Ujin has fallen for her, and you know it’s completely valid. It’s something he would totally fall for. And you know when he hears her sing for the first time, he’s hiding his admiration (which he does admit later on, in the most Ujintastic and soft-spoken but sure way). Ujin is attracted to Shimdeok as a person, and Shimdeok is attracted to Ujin as a person. I don’t know - I feel like I’ve never seen a drama that made this so incredibly clear. It was just so damn convincing.

The slow but sure way they fell in love really grasped me. I guess it’s also because it’s kind of rare nowadays (both in the real world and in media). People are so quick to express their feelings and get on with it. But both Ujin and Shimdeok took their time, getting to know each other through the team and through touring, and kept a slight (heart-fluttering) distance. (And I know the distance was required because Ujin was married and all, but I’ll talk about that aspect in another paragraph.) That romantic tension is gold. And I know this probably sounds crazy but I respect Ujin for drawing the line and inviting Shimdeok to his house along with the team to show her the reality of his life. I know, I know, it means nothing later on but I liked that decision and I liked that scene.

Another scene I absolutely loved was when the tour came to an end and they all celebrated at the dance hall. I loved it because it was a great portrayal of their feelings towards each other in that subtle and careful way - when you love someone, but you can’t express it to them yet, so you steal glances and hope that something will happen. Shimdeok kept glancing at Ujin and vice versa, but I loved how their eyes never really met. Golden romantic tension. This drama did the “ssum” stage so, so well. I also loved how Shimdeok actually stood up to make that move and approach Ujin at the dance hall (after several stolen glances). I would’ve done that too, Shimdeok. I think that’s why I’m attracted to people like Ujin - because I like being the active person, making the moves (lol).

One thing I realize over and over again about myself is that I am really drawn to films where emotions are shown in a very subtle way. In this drama, they don’t have a ton of physical intimacy (especially in the beginning stages of attraction and affection) and that makes the little moments even more prominent and overwhelming. For example, whenever they shake hands, when they almost touch fingers while reaching for the kettle at the same time, or when Ujin comes close for a kiss (which he doesn’t carry through with in the end - which showed his inner turmoil). This also means that the non-physical actions mean a whole lot - such as the time when Shimdeok comes over to spend time with a “sick” Ujin and tries so hard to stay for longer (which Ujin coldly and outrightly rejects, very so-in-character, but later watches and smiles at the window) and leaves with the umbrella that she earlier said never brought along. That’s what always wins me over, I guess - when affection and attraction is written in film in ways other than the oh-so-obvious physical action. That is much more interesting and emotional to me, and provides a whole lot of romantic tension.

I think it was also quite interesting and a rare sight in the K-drama world that the both of them actually told their families about their change of heart instead of running away without a word. I wasn’t expecting that. I was especially surprised that Ujin told his father about everything before leaving.

Speaking of families, I honestly have never felt more frustrated and angry watching Ujin’s dad and Shimdeok’s family. I’m not sure which family I hated more. I honestly couldn’t stop swearing and grabbing my forehead and I actually CRIED. I shed tears because I was so frustrated and sad. I felt this especially with Shimdeok’s family. They’re the fucking worst. Nobody in that fucking family was redeemable. Not the mother who was so obviously without morals and only cared about her other two kids, not the brother who fucking doubted Shimdeok’s morals and values, not the sister who believed the fucking rumours, and above all not the father who pretends to be on her side but is in fact the fucking worst? He acts all victim but in reality he’s the worst and he’s just a fucking passive version of the mother. And Shimdeok is the one providing for all of them. HAVE SOME RESPECT. Have some damn gratitude. I honestly felt it when Shimdeok fell speechless at her siblings’ confrontation and accusation and choked out, “you two can’t do this to me.” Damn right. Fucking ungrateful assholes. They’re so damn immature and selfish.

This is why, when Shimdeok receives the letter from Ujin saying that he wholeheartedly trusts her and her alone, and telling her to come to him quickly, I honestly cried with Shimdeok, and it began to make sense that they would run away together. This drama did their beats EXTREMELY well. One thing led to another, and each and every event/beat was convincing. I was just naturally led from beginning to end on an emotional rollercoaster and never once stopped to think, “does that even makes sense?” The writer constantly upped the level and made the characters suffer to the point they couldn’t stand. That’s good writing. It’s sad that the characters really couldn’t stand it and chose to end everything, but the lead up was undeniably good. It made me believe that they really didn’t have a way out. I still had hope when the only obstacle was the father’s disapproval (but even that was a bit too stifling cause the father was a closed-minded selfish prick) and the poverty that Shimdeok was faced with. But when it escalated to the point where Shimdeok was sexually harassed (I got so angry with this scene, and Shin Hyesun acted so incredibly well) and she was threatened into being a singer for the promotion and praise of the Japanese government, and Ujin was threatened with his father’s health, I had to throw in the towel. It all made sense. Even I couldn’t do it anymore.

But nevertheless, their tragic ending was really sad, and I hoped (and still hope) there was another way out. It reminded me of The Sorrows of Young Werther, and made me think of how sensitive and emotional artists and writers could be and how dangerous that can be. I had such a happy time watching the first two or so episodes that the tragic ending made me feel way too sad and hollow. I wish they could have overcome it somehow. Or even just run away somewhere and live together. At the end though, I’m not sure if it was the way LJS was playing the character, but it felt as though he was a little hesitant about the death compared to Shimdeok. Shimdeok seemed really set on the idea, as though there was no alternative, but Ujin seemed a little aloof, almost as though he was going through with it because it’s what his lover wanted. But when thinking back on how much he suffered because of his dad, and how much he gave up, it does make sense that he would have come to the same conclusion as Shimdeok. It’s just sad. I really wish it could have ended differently.

I would watch this drama again for two things: the beautiful cinematography, and the absolutely beautiful process of the two characters falling in love. (and yes for LJS, okay?)

p.s: Shin Hyesun really cannot lipsync. + LJS really needs to stop putting his hand in his pockets. It’s so frequent that it’s awkward - it’s like suddenly being hyper aware that he’s acting. + the one scene that really didn’t make sense for me was when Shimdeok abandoned her dream stage to run after Ujin. I wish the film had made it so that she was singing the last line of the song and finished it before running after him. But then again - that just shows how much she loved Ujin and just how much he meant to him. (But still.)

#review

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caffeineivore · 5 years ago

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Commission #2

For @nelwynp. Based off a very very old ficverse from wayyyyyyy back in the day called “Freckles” which may or may not be found on LJ. Makoto/Nephrite.

Commissions are still open!! Check out the details here or all the other commissions currently available here!

Long distance relationships are statistically known to suck, and honestly, I wouldn’t have considered myself the rose-coloured glasses type. The real world doesn’t care that you’ve probably, maybe, already gotten your share of crap thrown at you, starting from the death of your parents, and think maybe it should cut you a break. I knew the chances of Nick and myself making it were slim. He would be busy, surrounded by strangers a whole two states away. Sure, we’d known each other since we were kids, and maybe by now, he had become the one constant in my life-- my North Star, perhaps-- that forever friend who’d seen me at my worst and didn’t care in the least. And maybe--- maybe, finally, I’d finally told him those three words that had been nagging at the back of my subconscious for the last year of our acquaintance. He’d said them back, and it was only then that I realized how much I’d needed to hear and say them.

Still, I saw him off on that cloudy morning with dry eyes and homemade eggs Benedict-- that is to say, that I fed him and double-checked to make sure that he had not misplaced anything important. The apartment that he’d been living in was stripped bare, and all of his worldly goods were in the trailer of the U-haul which would take him to his new home. I was plugging his phone into the car charger in the front console when his arms wrapped around me from behind, and turned me to face him.

Nick has always been a good-looking guy, in that sort of rugged, All-American way, with broad shoulders and a great smile, and I’d learned at some point in our long acquaintance that he gave the best hugs-- the type that lifts you slightly off your feet and makes you feel like some type of dainty damsel even when you’re six feet tall in heeled boots. It’s no different now, and maybe I hung on for a moment too long, myself. He’s not much of a cologne guy, but his sweatshirt smells like laundry soap and I’m pretty sure he’d used my shampoo that morning again, because his hair’s super soft-- and the flowery scent is not nearly as girly on him as it is on me.

“Call me when you get there.” I hope to Hell, of course, that the fact that my voice is muffled against his neck disguises the unsteadiness.

“I’ll call you every day.”

I wouldn’t hold him to it, of course, but I didn’t say anything to that effect, and I watched as he drove off, and then headed off to the gym for a punishing three-mile run on the treadmill followed by a full hour of kickboxing to a playlist of angry girl rock, and if I cried in the shower afterwards, no one needed to know that.

He did call that night, though. And the night after. And the night after that. And soon, it had become a routine, and maybe I should have given him more credit the whole time. Before I knew it, two months had passed, and he flew down for a long holiday weekend, and after we’d christened three separate rooms in my apartment, we got caught up in person. I’d heard so much about his new place and the people he’d met at his new school that I probably could’ve picked his favourite and least favourite professors out of a crowd.

This became a thing, and so for two years, we did the long distance thing. He heard about the awful day when the stand mixer went rogue and how I was still picking bits of cake batter out of my hair two hours later. I heard so much about one particularly persnickety city inspector on a project he worked on that I learned to hate the guy as much as Nick did. Our reunions were sporadic, rapturous and never long enough, though half the time we eschewed actual dates in favour of staying in and just being ourselves together-- watching movies, working out, buying groceries and cooking meals, falling asleep so close together that it was hard to tell where one of us ended and the other one began.

We spent that first Thanksgiving at my place-- Friendsgiving, really, cooking a huge meal in a too-small kitchen, inviting all of our old friends. I shooed Nick and James out of my kitchen and chatted with Raye as she snapped a bowl of green beans for me and sounds of the football game filtered in through the living room. She was a ball of nerves-- James would be meeting her very formidable, very rich, very conservative father when he went over to her home for Christmas. Said father would not be amused to find his only daughter not only dating, but actually fully living in sin with a mouthy city boy-- when Nick had moved out, James and Raye had gotten an apartment together. Amy and Zach had arrived a bit later, because he’d had to pick her up from the hospital where her shift had run over. Kevin and Mina, on the other hand, were at her parents’ house out of state. She’d texted me all types of sad face emojis about how the cranberry sauce had come out of a can and the mashed potatoes had come out of a box, but I had no sympathy. She had parents who cooked for her for Thanksgiving, didn’t she? Besides, if she really cared about food over time spent with them and Kevin, she would have told them that she had Ebola and came over to my place instead.

At any rate, against all the odds, we somehow managed to make it work, and two years, three months and six days after that first time that I told him I loved him, he was on his way down to visit again. I’d gone up to see him get his Master’s degree two months ago and he’d taken me out around the town to celebrate with his friends and classmates. Some of them had met me before, but to those who hadn’t, he introduced me as his girlfriend, and from the easy acceptance, I knew that everyone present had some idea of our history. It had been a wonderful weekend, but I was a bit nervous about seeing him again today. Something had come up, very recently, and I wasn’t sure how he would take it.

At first, I had thought nothing of the symptoms. Fatigue and a bit of nausea doesn’t tend to alarm anyone right off the get-go. Everyone knows restaurant hours are brutal, and as an apprentice chef, any task, no matter how mundane or unpleasant, might get assigned to me on any given day. Certainly, I might get to spend one day arranging delicate edible flowers and a compote of ripe berries around and on top of fancy panna cottas, but the very next, I might be doing nothing but washing dishes and running out garbage. The kitchen I work in specializes in a rotating seasonal menu, and at the time, calamari was in season. Certainly it is delicious deep-fried with casino butter and lemon wedges, sprinkled with sea salt and cracked black pepper, but it’s definitely not as appealing raw, slimy and fishy-smelling. It’s enough to make anyone lose their appetite doing prep early in the morning. But then I was late. And not to work, if you know what I mean. One week stretched into two, then three. The nausea didn’t go away, even when my day consisted of making large quantities of bourbon vanilla buttercream frosting for strawberry white chocolate cakes. It was a week ago that I picked up two different pregnancy tests from Walgreen’s. Both results had come back to tell me what I kind of already knew, deep down, and I was honestly terrified down to the bone.

I had always wanted to have that maybe-stereotypical home and family someday-- the cute house with gingerbread trim and the white picket fence and the garden full of old-fashioned flowers, a husband who loved me and our children and went to baseball games and dance recitals with equal enthusiasm. I wanted to be able to be the mom who baked cupcakes for the bake sale and cookies for the big jar on the kitchen counter, and volunteered to chaperone field trips to the science museum. That had been my own mother, from those distant reaches of old memories, and though I’d lost her, I knew that it was in me to keep her legacy alive.

But I had not intended to do so when I had just started my career, unmarried and still living in a tiny college-campus apartment, with a boyfriend who lives two states away, who might not even want kids. God! That was a discussion we’d never even had.

The door swings open, though, before I could think about it any more. Nick has a key to my place, of course, as I do to his. Sometimes he calls, but sometimes he just arrives, like today, a little ahead of schedule. I’m caught up in one of those long, tight hugs, a warm and familiar hand cupping the back of my neck, and maybe he feels a hint of desperation in my kiss. When he pulls back, his eyes are warm, but full of concern. “Everything okay, Freckles?”

“Ugh. Can you not call me that? We’ve talked about that.” Oh, Gods... A baby with his brown hair and my green eyes. His dimples and my freckles. I can almost picture a little girl, toddling on chubby legs, riding on his shoulders, picking dandelions in the yard and blowing the fluff away in the wind. I’d teach her to bake chocolate chip cookies and read her stories where the princess saved herself and buy her pretty dresses for picture day and sturdy jeans for playing outside in. I loved her already, but she wasn’t supposed to even exist.

“Habit. And you scrunch your nose up when you’re mad, and I shouldn’t like it, but I do.” Nick presses another, shorter kiss to my mouth, then tips up my face. “But you seem a bit out of sorts. What’s wrong?”

“How could you tell if I’m out of sorts or not when you literally just walked in two minutes ago?” It’s an evasion, and I’m sure he can and will spot the bullshit and call me out on it.

“Because I’ve known you since we were kids, and you don’t have to say or do anything for me to know when you’re out of sorts.” Nick pulls me gently over to the love seat, and sits me down, keeping one of my hands in his as though he expects me to bolt at any moment. “Everything’s okay, right? You didn’t have anything particularly horrible at work this week that I recall from our conversations.”

No, this week hadn’t been bad. Breaking down chickens is fairly mindless work once you get the hang of it. And the resulting bone broth is wonderful for someone who finds it difficult to keep food down some days. Nick deserves the truth, of course, and maybe the ripping-off-the-bandaid approach is best. I shut my eyes to his all-too-perceptive, all-too-loving gaze, and set my teeth.

“I’m pregnant.”

His hand tightens on mine and his next inhaled breath is sharp, but I plow on. “I know it’s not expected, and I know we were careful, but… it is what it is. You don’t have to worry, though. I’m not some delicate little miss who’s afraid of raising a child. The executive chef at work loves me, as he should, and I’m sure they’ll work with me when the time comes for maternity leave. And in this day and age, it’s not a big deal to be a single mom. I’m keeping this baby and she’s going to get the best life that I can give her, growing up.” I don’t know why I was so certain I was having a little girl. But she already existed, to me, and at that moment in time, she was probably only the size of my pinkie nail. “She will never doubt, for a moment, that she’s loved.”

“Of course not.” Nick finally speaks, and his voice is an awed, slightly choked-up whisper. I sense him moving, then one big, warm hand rests on my still-flat stomach, followed by the press of his lips. “We’re having a baby. Wow. Okay, so I guess I should get on with what I’d already planned to do, even though I’d planned for this to be a lot more romantic.” Belatedly, I realize that not only has he moved, but he is down on his knees in front of me, one hand on my stomach, the other one digging into a pocket, and then he pulls out a small black velvet box, flicks open the catch.

I’m not much of a jewelry type of girl-- I wear the same earrings, every single day, but working in a kitchen greatly limits the practicality of going around with bracelets and rings and do-dabs. Still, stereotypical though it might be, I’d always wanted that classic diamond solitaire engagement ring from my husband-to-be, and now, when it’s staring me in the face-- princess-cut and set in platinum, I find myself speechless.

“Lita Oakley, love of my life, will you marry me?”

Of course he doesn’t mince words. In a lot of ways, I guess we’re past that point. But I draw my hand back a moment before he can slide that ring on.

“I don’t want you to propose to me because I’m pregnant and you feel obligated. You’d end up regretting it, and that would kill me.” We didn’t live together now, but if we did someday, and then it all went south, and I had to walk into an empty house bereft of his presence and his things and even the way he’d always kick his shoes off any which way by the door rather than make sure they’re put up where no one can trip over them, I knew it would break me in a way that hadn’t been possible since my parents’ deaths.

Nick rolls his eyes, though, and huffs out a breath before digging deeper into that little velvet box, all the way underneath the white satin. He takes out a crinkled paper receipt, and unfolds it, and drops it on my lap. “You are so stubborn. Do you know that? Take a look at that receipt, will you? Just… humour me.”

I do. It’s from some jeweler in his state, and the price of the ring of course makes me wince a little. It’s definitely not cheap. But then I read it a little closer, and see the time stamp on the top. It was purchased at 4:26 PM on the sixth of December, two whole years ago. Perhaps six months after he’d moved away.

“I got it as soon as I could afford it, and I’d been saving up for a while. Probably not very well-thought-out of me, when everything was so up in the air. But I’d always known that we’d be here together, someday, and I’d be asking you to marry me. Anyway, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that you’re pregnant and everything to do with the fact that I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, and there’s no one else in the world for me, and it’s too late to return this ring, anyway.” He pulls it out of the box, and I see something shining, trailing from it. “I know you can’t really wear rings, working in a kitchen. So I also got a necklace that you can wear this on, if you’ll just say yes. Please say yes.”

“How are we going to do this?” I blurt out, as that other infamous symptom of pregnancy-- emotional hormonal tears-- makes its appearance. I blink and try to sniffle them away, but Nick simply puts the ring on my finger, silvery necklace dangling from it, and gets up to his feet, pulls me gently to mine. “You live so freaking far away.”

“Not anymore I don’t.” He tugs me close, and kisses me again. “My lease is up in a month. I figure I can get another U-haul, and con the guys into helping out. I’m pretty sure that the people can put a good word in for me to get hired in somewhere local-- dumb jock notwithstanding, I worked my ass off these last few years and have the credentials and grades to prove it. Since my lease is up in a month anyway, might as well look for a new place to live. Some place that can be baby-proofed, and definitely not a top floor apartment with a janky elevator like here. Can’t have my pregnant fiancee struggling up five flights of stairs every day.”

He makes it seem so simple, really, as he pulls me in for what promised to be an extended cuddle session.

But maybe-- maybe it would be.

#nelwynp #sailor moon #senshi/shitennou #commission #M/N #fanfiction #fanfic

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intimidating-fettuccine · 3 years ago

Note

Hello again, Aubrie! Hope you've been doing well and not overworking yourself. You deserve a break too. ❤️☺️

I was wondering if I could possibly get a group therapy session scenario, please? Maybe LJ finally opens up to the group about his struggles and fears and maybe showing some progress to bettering himself and the CPs showing their support? :)

I do normally do these as scenarios, but speaking of not overworking myself, I'm gonna go for extended headcanons. Hope that's okay. My real life is just not good right now and I'm finding it a bit hard to think creatively~

A reminder that asks like this are FULLY blog canon, as in this conversation has occurred in my canon at some point!

Sunday's group therapy sessions have been a regular thing for a while now at the mansion. Slender created them as a way for everyone to gradually open up, to share their experiences, to foster a healthy work relationship and the family dynamic between all of them. And, well, for the most part, it works. At least, when people are willing to actually open up.

LJ is one of the few that normally dodges questions. Normally uses his smiling facade to fool his way through it. However, everyone's been picking up on it for a while now, and with his depressive episodes being prevalent they had all (gently, of course), told him that he could speak about anything he needed to and that they would listen and be respectful. That was how they'd ended up there, with Jack in the head of their little session and all of them sitting and waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts.

Jack starts off slow, taking long pauses and thinking through his past, his history. It feels rough, talking about those things, but once he's started it's like the faucet has burst and suddenly he's tearfully and loudly going through everything, letting forth all of the feelings he's been holding in for so long, ranting about his needs and his wants, his shortcomings, the things he wishes he'd done differently, the things he wishes he had. By the time he's done, he's heaving and shaking with his head in his hands and his knees at his chest. It was silent other than his cries and breathing for a few moments before he'd felt a gentle hand on his back.

"If you needed help and comfort, all you needed to do was ask." Jeff.

"We don't think you're nearly as bad as you seem to think you are." BEN, now at his other side.

"You're always welcome here, always welcome in the group." Tim, patting him upon the head.

Soon, everyone was crowding around him, providing comforting words and comforting touches, allowing him to cry out the rest of his tears as he soaked in all of the affection. Things had felt lighter after that conversation. He didn't hide as much, and the creeps were more open to him. Sitting closer to him at meals, giving him hugs and high fives and pats on the back in passing, giving gifts, asking how he was doing. He had opened himself up to them and they'd opened themselves up to him. It was new, and scary, and different- but, to Jack, it was nice. It was home. He still had his bad days, as did everyone else, but he'd found himself having an increase in the good days on his calendar. He'd found himself wishing he'd opened up sooner, but, alas, the past was in the past. All he could do now was move forward.

#slender mansion mayhem #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta headcanons #laughing jack #laughing jack headcanons #laughing jack headcanon #slender mansion #slender mansion headcanons #slender mansion headcanon

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faveficarchive · 5 years ago

Text

The Perfect Gift

By LJ Maas

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: A little Cupid’s Day Vignette to wrap up the Queen series. Fluffy as shit, so if you’re in the mood for something feel-good, you have arrived.

"Xena, how many of these do we have to do?" Tai asked the tall warrior beside her.

"The more we have, the better it will be," Xena answered.

They stood side by side, Xena working quickly with her sharp knife and Tai filled the wooden buckets beside them. The five year old performed her task with a screwed up face at the odor coming from the containers on the ground. Tai only came up to the warrior's knees, but she worshiped Xena and worked as hard as she could to please her new mother. Tai tossed another of the smelly objects into the bucket. She looked up at the warrior and Xena winked at the youngster. Tai didn't much enjoy this part of fishing, but she did enjoy spending time with Xena.

After Tai's mother had died, Xena and Gabrielle had adopted the youngster as their own. The two women told Tai that she and her baby sister, Emery, were their little girls now. There were days when Tai still missed her mother, but Gabrielle held her at night and Xena promised to teach the youngster everything about being a warrior. Those small acts of kindness helped to keep the sad thoughts from overwhelming her.

Tai had slipped one day and called Gabrielle, Mama. She didn't know why, but Tai felt so much better after saying it because Gabrielle was just like her Mama. At first she thought that Gabrielle had been upset because the Queen said Tai didn't have to call her that. Gabrielle sat down and explained what she meant and the little girl listened intently. Gabrielle simply hadn't wanted Tai to forget her mother. Tai nodded her small head in understanding, knowing however, that it just felt right to call Gabrielle that name. From that day on, Gabrielle became Mama to the youngster.

"Okay, little bit. I think we have enough now. Let's go."

"Do we really need dis many?"

"Oh, yea. It will make it lots better, trust me."

"'Kay."

Xena's head craned around the corner of the building, the rest of her body hidden by the structure. Heartbeats later, a tiny blonde head looked around the corner as well, about knee-high to the warrior.

"There's da bad man," Tai whispered.

Xena and Tai watched the two figures across the compound. Xena couldn't keep the smile from her lips, watching Gabrielle as she spoke to her uncle. The blonde Queen straightened up and a hand went to her back. She massaged the area as she continued talking with the dark-haired God. Xena's smile was meant, not only for her wife, but also for the life that Gabrielle carried inside her swollen belly. Recently, it only took a quick thought of their soon-to-arrive daughter, Brianna, for Xena to get emotional. Shaking her head, the warrior quickly returned her mind to the job before her.

"Okay, little bit. Keep your head down and stay by me."

Ephiny caught sight of the two from the balcony of her own small hut as they scurried through the Amazon village, hiding behind huts and tents. She watched the comical sight with an unexpected fascination.

"Ep," Ephiny called out to the Village's Weapons Master. "What on earth is Xena up to?"

"Don't know. She just asked me if I had an extra bucket and a ball of twine. I gave the stuff to her and she and Tai took off giggling like schoolgirls."

Ephiny shook her head. "Why does that sound like trouble to me?"

Eponin chuckled. "Maybe because you know Xena as well as anyone and you also know that since Gabrielle became pregnant again, Xena's probably been good for about as long as she can stand it."

"Yep, that's what I was afraid of. Oh, well," the Regent turned to go back inside. "The Warrior Princess is our Queen's headache during peacetime."

"Okay, we tie the string like this," Xena explained as she worked.

Tai watched in fascination as the warrior moved around the room. Xena tied the string in a series of complicated loops and knots, stringing it around the doorframe and pulling it through the door's latch. She stood on a stool to reach the top of the door, precariously balancing her precious cargo upon the upper frame.

"We crouch down here, under the window, and we wait. When he comes in, as soon as the door opens just the tiniest bit…leather boy gets it. The opening door automatically trips the lever and we've got him like a rat in a trap."

"Then what?" Tai asked.

"Then we laugh our butts off," Xena answered, a satisfied expression on her face.

"You said butt," Tai giggled.

Xena smiled at the youngster's amusement. "Yea, well, warriors can say butt when we're with other warriors."

"Cool."

Xena thought a moment. "Um...just don't tell your mom I said that."

"Why? Will you get in trouble?"

"You have no idea."

"Is it cuz she's Queen and in charge?"

"Is that what you think?"

"Dunno."

"Well, who do you think is in charge?" Xena asked.

"You!" Tai said emphatically, pointing a tiny finger at Xena.

"Why do you say that?" Xena asked.

"Cuz you're bigger and stronger."

Xena chuckled aloud. "Some day, little bit, you'll learn that even the smallest and weakest looking among us can be strong. Some times, usually just when we need it the most, the greatest heart, and strength can come from the most unlikely of people. Which means, when we're here in the Amazon Village, Gabrielle's in charge."

"But why?"

Xena could see this going on for a while. "Because she's Queen and that makes her the most important person here."

"More 'portant dan you?" Tai's expression told the warrior that the youngster was amazed.

"Way more important than me. You might even be Queen one day."

"Baby Bri will be Queen cuz she's your real little girl," Tai replied.

Xena paused, wondering how they had gotten onto such a complex subject. "Where did you get that idea, Tai?"

"I heard somebody sayin' it," Tai evaded.

"Well, that's not true. You and your sister Emery are just as much our little girls as Brianna will be. Any one of you could be Queen if you wanted it. It takes a very wise and strong woman to be Queen, though. Do you think you'd like that?"

"Nope," Tai answered.

"Oh, you've already made up your mind about that, have you?" Xena teased.

Tai's head nodded up and down in quick jerks.

"So, why don't you want to be Queen?"

"Cuz mama doesn't get to have no fun. You get to ride Argo, and go fishin', and go huntin'. Warriors get to have a lot more fun. I think I'll be what you are. I'm gonna guard the Queen."

"Ahh, the Queen's Champion?"

"Yea, that's it...Queen's Ch...Ch - thampion."

Xena laughed quietly. "I know you'll be the best, little bit."

Xena peeked over the windowsill and saw Gabrielle and Ares coming their way. She watched as they walked toward the home that Xena and Gabrielle shared with their girls. They stopped outside as two Amazon's approached them. Xena knew the two women. In fact, she had told them to be on the lookout in order to pull Gabrielle aside. Xena wanted to guarantee that Ares walked through that door alone.

Xena and Ares had always had a rather adversarial relationship. In the past, it had been easy for the Warrior Princess to express her dislike and rage against the God of War. Things had changed last season, though. One of the more surprising revelations had been that Ares was not only Gabrielle's uncle, but also her mentor. Apollo had extracted the oath from his brother before Gabrielle had been born. It became Ares's duty to teach his charge everything necessary in order for Gabrielle to control her newfound godly powers.

Gabrielle had finally come into her own as the daughter of Apollo and she and Ares had formed an interesting relationship. Oddly enough, Gabrielle seemed to be one of the few people who never feared offending, enraging, or even yelling at the God of War. Xena's part in their newly extended family became slightly fuzzier. She had always known where she stood with her old nemesis, but she now found that Gabrielle actually expected Xena to behave civilly around Ares for the sake of the children.

Xena usually made herself scarce when Ares was in the Village with Gabrielle. Aside from nap time, there were few moments during the day when the youngster wasn't with Xena. At first, Xena thought she would go insane at having the pint size child as a constant companion. It didn't take long until she actually looked forward to the company each day. Gabrielle had even commented on how the warrior moped around the house when Tai had to take a nap.

So, Xena had been left with conjuring only fantasies in her mind of ways in which hurt Ares. She had been planning this latest attack for some time. It was fun, she loved the scheming and the time spent with Tai, plus it was so innocent it couldn't possibly get her into trouble with Gabrielle. To Xena, it was a win-win proposition.

"I think he's coming, Xena," Tai's childlike whisper shook Xena from her musings.

"You're right." She ducked her head under the windowsill, doing a last minute visual on the trap's set up.

"Xena?" Tai whispered.

"Ssh." Xena concentrated on the trail of beige string.

"But, Xena…"

"Shh, Tai. I hear footsteps. If he hears us we'll get caught."

"But, Xena…dis is really, really 'portant."

"What?" Xena finally asked in exasperation, looking down at the youngster crouched beside her under the window.

"Isn't the bad man supposed to come in?"

"Yeah."

"And he comes in and the buckets fall?"

Xena watched with extreme satisfaction as the door began to open. "Yea, yea. This is it."

"Then why is he over there?" Tai pointed out the window.

"Wha - ?" Xena whipped her head around to see Ares standing out in front of the house, chatting up some Amazons. "Oh, no!"

She jumped up from her hiding place in order to slam the door closed. Unfortunately, her muscles had grown stiff from her crouched position under the window. She tripped as the door opened and the buckets emptied their contents upon the unsuspecting victim.

"Gods on Olympus!" Gabrielle cried out as two buckets of assorted fish parts rained down on her.

The Queen looked down to find her wife sprawled across the wooden floor of their home, Tai right behind her. Gabrielle closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "You two - "

"Mama…Mama!" Tai ran forward, a small piece of parchment in her hands. "Look what I made for you for Cupid's Day."

Tai looked up at Gabrielle with a sweetly innocent expression, glancing back at Xena with a 'you're on your own' look.

"That is so cheating," Xena whispered.

Gabrielle took another deep breath. "That's lovely, honey, thanks. Was this," she brushed a fish tail from her shoulder, "Xena's idea?"

Tai looked back nervously at Xena's still prone figure. "I don't think warriors are supposed to tattle on other warriors," Tai whispered up at Gabrielle.

"Xena?" Gabrielle said in a voice that sounded as though it had begun to fray at the edges.

"Yes?" Xena couldn't think of one intelligent thing to say.

"Are these pieces of…fish?"

"Um…they're trout…your favorite."

"On a plate, not with their guts draped all over me!"

Xena winced at the younger woman's volume. "Gabrielle, I - "

"No. I don't want to hear it right now." Gabrielle drew in another breath and fought down the urge to hit something. "I'm going to the bathing chamber and I want this cleaned up by the time I return." She walked out of the door without another word.

Gabrielle's glare dared anyone to comment on her appearance as she walked down the steps of their hut.

Ares' smile formed as soon as he saw Gabrielle coming his way. "You know - " He began with a chuckle. He froze at Gabrielle's next words.

"If you say anything that could be classified as a smart-ass comment, so help me, you lose a testicle!"

"Um…I gotta go." Ares disappeared, leaving behind a trail of falling blue sparkles.

Later, as Xena and Tai mopped up the mess they had created, Xena commented on the youngster's behavior. "Quick thinking to suck up like that."

"What's 'suck up' mean, Xena?"

"In this case, my friend, it means that you're a lot smarter than me."

Xena and Tai knelt on the floor, each with a wet rag in hand. A candlemark had passed since Gabrielle left the hut, covered in fish unmentionables.

"Tell me, little bit, is this the fun warrior stuff you were talking about?" Xena asked.

Tai kept scrubbing the wooden floor that still smelled of fish guts. "Dis don't seem like fun warrior stuff at all."

"Tell me about it." Xena paused and tilted her head as though she was testing the air with her senses. "Tai," she whispered, "Give me that soap."

In a matter of heartbeats, Xena had pushed the thick cake of soap a couple of feet away from where they kneeled. Suddenly, the air crackled with a sort of hot energy and Ares's form materialized. As soon as the God became solid, his legs flew out from underneath him and he landed on his back, hitting the wooden floor hard enough to expel all the air in his lungs.

Tai took that opportunity to do what she always did when Ares was on the ground playing with her. She charged him, screaming out her own particular version of a Xena battle cry, landing directly on the God of War's stomach.

Xena laughed as Ares pulled the cake of soap from underneath him and tossed it in the nearby bucket.

"That'll teach you to knock first," Xena said.

"I'm a God - ooph!" he exclaimed as Tai jumped up and down on this stomach. "Nobody else makes me knock."

"Nobody else can kick your ass whenever she wants, either."

"You can't kick my ass...whenever you want," he quickly added at the challenging gleam in Xena's eye.

"Oh, yea? Who's lying on a wet floor, flat on their back, with a kid bouncing on top of them?"

"Point taken. Whoa, kid. You're getting a little close to the equipment." Ares lifted Tai off his prone form.

"That was funny, Ares. Do it again," Tai said.

"Maybe next time, kiddo." He reached down to pat the blonde head. "So," he lowered his voice and looked around the room. "Is she back yet?"

"I never thought I'd see the day. You acting like a wuss around Gabrielle."

"You would be too if you knew what was good for you. Have you ever been around a woman just beginning to learn her God power? She may not have many of them, but until she learns how to control what she does have, I'll look out for my family jewels, thank you very much. When she says I'll lose a testicle, all she has to do is think about it too hard and poof! There it goes. "

"Hmm, could be worth seeing," Xena said in between her laughter.

Gabrielle returned from her bath, wearing a much more congenial expression. "So, everything is all clean I see."

"Completely. Bri, I'm - "

Gabrielle held up her hand. "It's okay. I should have known that you were getting ready to blow. You've been good way too long."

Gabrielle winked and Xena knew that her wife had already forgiven her. One of the earmarks of this pregnancy had been that Gabrielle's temper resembled a summer gale. It swept through fast, with lots of strong wind, lightning, and thunder, but was gone before it ever achieved full force. Xena knew her wife. She also understood what it was like to be pregnant. It would only be another moon or two and Gabrielle's sweet and compassionate disposition would return.

"Ares, I'm beat. Do you mind if we call it a day?" Gabrielle asked.

Before Ares could answer, he sneezed.

"Bless you," Xena and Gabrielle said in unison.

"Wait a minute. Did you just sneeze?" Gabrielle asked.

"I don't think I've even heard you sneeze before," Xena said.

"That's because Gods don't sneeze," he replied. "Maybe it was just a fluke." Ares sneezed again. "Uh oh. I gotta go."

"What's wrong?" Gabrielle asked.

"It's the immortal virus. Man, I have to get back…now!" Ares face grew a look of concentration. He paused and looked at his outstretched hand. "Damn."

He snapped his fingers, even said a quick incantation but all that happened was a little smoke and a small popping noise. "I'm still here." He said, looking down at his body.

"Brilliant deduction," Xena said without sympathy.

"I mean I'm stuck here. All because I came back to check on you," he nodded his head at Gabrielle. "I knew this being nice gig was gonna bite me in the ass sooner or later."

"Now, Ares, calm down," Gabrielle said. "What do you mean an immortal virus…is it catching? Is that why you can't transport yourself back to Olympus?"

"The immortal virus only affects Gods. We heard last week that a couple of the Roman Gods were infected. Damn! I played cards with Mars. I bet that asshole passed it on to everybody on Olympus!"

"So, you sneeze and lose your ability to transport?" Xena asked. "Doesn't sound too terrible."

"I lose all my powers. I can't do a thing until I get better. I'm stuck here unless somebody comes for me."

"All your powers?" Xena asked with an evil grin.

"Xena, stop," Gabrielle ordered. "Don't worry, Ares. I'll call my father and he'll come get you. Do you feel okay?"

"Yeah, it doesn't do anything unless I - " Ares sneezed again.

"What in Hades name?" Xena looked out the window into the Village. "Well, this is different."

Joining Xena at the window, the three of them watched as snow fell from the sky. Ares sneezed and the snow stopped. He sneezed again and the entire compound filled with multicolored butterflies.

"Everything is okay unless - "

"Unless you sneeze," Xena finished. "Great," she said to Ares's embarrassed shrug. This could be dangerous."

"Nah, it's usually weird harmless stuff."

Gabrielle went into their bedroom and opened up the small wooden box that held her prized possessions. She put on the ring that Apollo had given her and spoke one word… father. In the past, Apollo had appeared almost immediately upon Gabrielle using the enchanted ring.

"Father isn't answering." Gabrielle came out of the bedroom to address Xena and Ares.

"You rang?" Aphrodite's voice arrived before she did. The Goddess wore her customary pink, low cut diaphanous gown. The only thing different was that she wore a cloth mask over her mouth and nose.

"Aw, Dite, thank you, thank you. I thought I was gonna be stuck here as a mortal," Ares said.

"Thanks a lot," Gabrielle responded.

Ares shrugged and at least had the decency to look apologetic. "You know what I mean."

"I'm afraid I do," Gabrielle said. "Aphrodite, where's my father and what is that thing on your face?"

"Hey there, mama-to-be. Well, Apollo and the crowd have the same virus that this lug has, and boy, are they like pissed at you, Ares."

"I only let Mars in to play cards!"

"Yea, right! That wolf of his was all over the place. After everyone gets over this, we'll have to have Olympus fumigated. And do you want to know the worst part? This mask is ruining my make-up!"

Xena and Gabrielle tried to hide their smiles. No matter how she had matured around mortals, Aphrodite would always be...well, Aphrodite.

"So, you're the only God who doesn't cause puppies to fall from the sky when they sneeze?" Xena asked.

"Yep, I'm virus free and I plan on staying that way. That's why the mask, get it? Apollo gave me a yell when you tried to call on him," Aphrodite said to Gabrielle. "He figured little bro was stuck down here."

"So how long does this virus last?" Gabrielle asked.

"A few years," Aphrodite answered.

"Years?" Xena and Gabrielle repeated in unison.

"Well, not to you guys, silly. Years up on Olympus are just...what, two or three days down here?" she asked Ares.

"More or less," he answered.

"Gabrielle's been with Ares all day. Any chance she can get this virus?" Xena asked.

"Don't think so, warrior-babe. I've never heard of anyone but a full God getting the immortal virus."

"Excuse me, My Queen, but we have trouble."

Ephiny had waited as long as she could, but felt that the situation warranted interrupting Gabrielle and her family. The Regent had never felt truly comfortable around Gabrielle's Godly relatives. She thought it best to steer as far away from the Gods as possible whenever they were in the Village.

"Now what?" Gabrielle asked as Ares sneezed again. Suddenly, a herd of small gray burros materialized and wandered aimlessly throughout the compound.

"Are you doing that?" Ephiny asked. She knew that Gabrielle had been practicing to control the powers she had inherited from her father.

"Not me…him" Gabrielle jerked a thumb in Ares's direction.

"I don't want to know why, do I?" Ephiny stared at the burros as they passed by the group.

"Not if you want to stay sane," Xena replied.

"And the trouble is…" Gabrielle encouraged Ephiny to continue.

"Huh?" Ephiny looked confused.

"The trouble you were going to tell me about?"

"Oh…um, yea. Unfortunately, we have a rather touchy situation going down at the settlement near the Strymon."

"Situation?" Gabrielle asked.

"Marcasa, their new leader is starting shit, but it's the kind of shit that could end up causing a war."

"We just gave them an extension to stay on that land until we can meet to sign a lease. What more does he want?"

"He wants a lease immediately. The terms of the last contract stipulate that the Queen of the Amazons would negotiate in person no more than a fortnight after the lease ended."

"Does this moron know that Gabrielle's pregnant and due by the next moon, that she's in no condition to travel?" Xena growled.

"Frankly, I think that's part of his plan. At this point, he knows Gabrielle can't possibly travel the four or five days it would take to get there before the fortnight is up. If the timeline on the negotiation isn't kept, as written, the land will revert ownership to the lessee."

"The bastard!" Xena said.

"Actually, the people there aren't the type to want to go to war, but Marcasa is misguided enough to want to pull a fast one when he sees the opportunity.

"So you're telling me the Amazons lose that land if I can't get there in time?" Gabrielle asked.

"I'm afraid so, but that's not the worst part of this little scenario. Andralen is taking these manipulations by Marcasa rather personally. He's threatening physical force if the settlement doesn't wait until the birth of your child, until you're able to travel. You know how Andralen feels about you."

Gabrielle nodded, remembering Andralen. A centaur captain, he met Gabrielle the previous fall in the forest to the south of the Amazon village. He had his rear hoof ensnared in a hunter's metal trap. Luckily, Gabrielle had been visiting her favorite quiet spot in the woods and heard the centaur's angry bellows. After releasing the spring on the trap, she carefully explained about the healing power passed down to her from her father. In order to save Andralen's leg, she would have to expend some of this power, but first warned the creature that her ability was inconsistent much of the time. She had a hard time calling it up at will. Andralen took the chance and Gabrielle saved him from what would have been an almost certain amputation of the limb. Since that time, Andralen had become a devoted supporter of the young Amazon Queen.

"I'm at a loss. How on earth can I possibly get there in time, even if I could spend five days on horseback?"

Everyone looked around, trying to come up with an idea. Even Xena had a difficult time in dreaming up a way to get out of their situation.

"Hellooo!" Aphrodite said. "Am I like invisible here?"

The women went silent and looked at her in confusion.

"Sweet Pea, I can get you there before you can say hot tub with the girls and have you back in time for supper."

They continued their silent stares for a few moments, but then they looked at one another and all began to speak at once, effectively dismissing Aphrodite's suggestion.

She stamped her foot in an attempt to get their attention. "Hey!" Aphrodite said.

No," Xena said.

"It does sound like an easy solution, though" Ephiny added.

"No," Xena repeated, folding her arms across her chest.

"Xena, I think - " Gabrielle began.

"No. Gabrielle you're - "

"Not going to deliver for another moon. Even if it does happen early it will still be another fortnight."

"Xena, I'm kind of offended. You know I'll take care of our little mom-to-be," Aphrodite was quick to add.

"I know you mean well, Aphrodite, but - "

"Xena, I don't think we have any choice. Aphrodite, will it be safe for the baby?"

"Sure! She'll be in the safe hands of Auntie Aphrodite."

"Oh, that just fills me with confidence," Xena said. "All right," Xena held her hands up in mock surrender, not looking at all thrilled with the idea, but slightly intimidated by her wife's gaze. "But, I want Aphrodite to zap you into the centaur village first and make sure Andralen sends a unit with you to the settlement. I want you protected. Actually, I think it would be better if I - "

"Xe, someone needs to stay home with the girls."

"We're surrounded by Amazons. They live to baby sit."

"Sweetheart, I'll only be a few candlemarks."

Xena realized that she had gone into her over protective mode. She had to let Gabrielle rule her people, no matter how personally difficult that became. She smiled and reached over to kiss Gabrielle's forehead.

Gabrielle placed one hand on Xena's arm. "Don't worry so much, okay?"

"What, just when I'm getting so good at it?"

"Okay, now that it's all settled how about giving me a lift home first. Eh, sis?" Ares sneezed again and a long line of multicolored rabbits slowly hopped past the group.

"Right. Off you go!" Aphrodite sent Ares on his way with a wave of her hand. "Okay, just say the word, Sweet Pea, and we're outta here."

"Let me change into something more formal first," Gabrielle said.

"Tell Tai that I had to leave in a hurry…don't let her eat too many snacks before dinner…do you remember how Emery's milk goes in the container to feed her?" Gabrielle rattled off a string of requests as she dressed.

"Bri, You'll be back for dinner. I think I can manage until then," Xena answered.

"I know, I'm being silly, aren't I?"

"Pretty much, but I'm used to it."

"Very funny, warrior. Gods, I'm getting nervous already."

"You'll have everything under control in no time, I know it. Just come back to me quickly, my heart. You know I haven't had to spend a Cupid's Day apart from you in all the time we've known each other."

"Xe, it's days away," Gabrielle answered with a smile. "But, I promise you, no matter what, I'll be back in time to celebrate Cupid's Day with you."

"With my gift?"

Gabrielle suddenly remembered why she had wanted to talk with Ephiny earlier that day. She knew that Xena had been casually trying to remain inconspicuous, while searching their home high and low for any signs of hidden gifts. The Queen had requested that Ephiny hide the custom made saddle Gabrielle had commissioned for her wife.

"With your present," Gabrielle replied.

"It's a deal then."

They kissed and held to one another as though it would be a much longer separation. Xena wanted one more kiss, but there wasn't time before Gabrielle rushed through the door.

Gabrielle and Ephiny discussed the details of the contract one last time. After a few more hasty farewells, Gabrielle gave one last wave, and blew a kiss in Xena's direction before her figure shimmered into nothingness beside Aphrodite.

"Your Highness, we are most honored that you have come in person."

An elderly man took Gabrielle's hand and gave it a light squeeze. "I apologize for my son's behavior in this matter. Marcasa is young and has yet to gain the maturity that leadership demands. You are an excellent example for him." The old man glared at the young man who stood beside him.

"I'm happy that we could come to an understanding and that this didn't have to escalate into anything violent," Gabrielle replied.

She watched as Marcasa looked away from her, unable to make eye contact. His cheeks had turned red with shame. She understood that his father had taught him better, but the young man had given into the attractive nature of power.

"I really must be going, now. I have someone waiting." Gabrielle looked over to where Aphrodite stood, surrounded by a group of men and Centaurs.

"We've never seen any of the Gods in their mortal shapes before," the old man's words explained and seemed to apologize for the behavior of the men of the village.

"You get used to it after a while," she replied with a smile. "Aphrodite? Ready?"

"I'm always ready." She winked at the men.

"Say goodbye, Aphrodite," Gabrielle pulled the Goddess away from the group.

"Spoilsport. Well, toodles, guys. See ya 'round the temple."

Aphrodite took hold of Gabrielle's hand, and the Goddess snapped her fingers together. A pale pink powder shimmered as it fell to the ground where the two women had been standing only a heartbeat earlier.

"Wow, that was quicker than last time," Gabrielle said, as she felt solid ground beneath her feet.

She looked around, unable to understand why they were standing on the side of a road in an area she couldn't recognize. "Aphrodite, where are we?"

Before Gabrielle even had the words out of her mouth, Aphrodite threw back her head and sneezed. Suddenly, brightly colored tulips popped up from the ground for as far as they could see down the road.

"Uh oh," Aphrodite said in reply.

"Oh, no," Gabrielle said. Her face expressed the shock that she felt. "Don't even tell me that you have it, too."

"Okay."

Silence hung heavy in the air. "Well?" Gabrielle cried out.

"You said not to tell you!" Aphrodite replied. She sneezed again and all of the green grass around them turned a bright blue.

"I don't believe this is happening. Where are we?"

"Hey, I'm just as surprised as you are. This wasn't exactly how I planned this. Don't you have any transport powers at all?" Aphrodite asked.

"Even if I could, which I can't, I'd be afraid that we'd end up in a dozen pieces. You know how erratic this stuff is for me."

"Well, this bites," Aphrodite said.

"I guess we'll just have to start walking," Gabrielle said.

"Exqueeze me?" Aphrodite stopped to stare at Gabrielle. "You want me to walk?"

"It's either that or camp out for a few days until your powers return."

"That sounds fine."

"Of course, we have no food, no water, and no place to sleep," Gabrielle said.

"Oh, guess we can't let you and the bambino go without food."

"There's another really good reason why we have to get home," Gabrielle added.

"Why?"

"My water just broke."

"You can break water?" Aphrodite asked. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm having my baby."

"Oh no you don't." Aphrodite placed her hands on her hips. "You cross your legs and don't let that little bugger out."

"It's not quite that easy," Gabrielle replied, clutching her abdomen. The pain seemed to roll through her in slow, fluttering waves. It felt nothing like the first time she had given birth to this youngster.

"Brianna, stay!" Aphrodite ordered as she pointed to Gabrielle's stomach.

Gabrielle laughed, in spite of the seriousness of their situation. "Aphrodite, you're losing it."

"Well, this mortal gig can get old in a hurry. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but the first thing we need to do is get off the side of the road."

Aphrodite sneezed and a line of wooden chairs inched their way down the road."

"I take that back. The first thing we need to do is stop you from sneezing. The second is to find some shelter. I'm going to need your help in walking, though."

"Oh, okay. Um…what do I do?" Aphrodite looked as though she was afraid to touch Gabrielle.

"Just let me lean on you a bit. Okay?"

They started walking, still unsure which direction would lead them home. They were in the middle of nowhere and nothing looked the slightest bit familiar to Gabrielle. After a while, they had worked up a sweat for their efforts. Well, Gabrielle had worked up a sweat. Aphrodite attempted to assist Gabrielle in between fits of sneezing. They had seen the sky turn magenta, bunnies grow wings, but the strangest, Gabrielle had to admit, were the fish that flew by.

Seeing the fish caused Gabrielle to think that it was only earlier that morning when Xena had doused her with fish guts, a practical joke meant for Ares. The thought of Xena, and the Cupid's Day gift from little Tai, made Gabrielle's eyes fill with tears. She was trying to be brave, but their present situation, coupled with the pain in her lower belly was simply too much for her.

"Geez, how many loaves of nut bread have you been eating lately?" Aphrodite asked. "Hey, I'm sorry, it was just a joke." Aphrodite was quick to apologize when she saw the tears in Gabrielle's eyes.

"I'm just…Aphrodite, I don't know how much further I can go."

"We need to find you a spot to rest for a while. How about over there?"

"I don't think we should stop," Gabrielle responded and then grimaced from another contraction.

"Sweet Pea, I don't know what to tell ya, but I have no idea where we are and you really look like - "

"No! We have to keep going."

"Why are you being such a stubborn half Goddess?" Aphrodite said in exasperation.

"Because I'm having a baby and it's just you and me in the middle of nowhere! Because the last time - "

A strangled sob halted the remainder of Gabrielle's sentence, but she didn't have to finish for Aphrodite to understand. The Goddess knew that Gabrielle had been thinking of the last time she had given birth to this same baby, when Hera had stolen the child's life force in an act of revenge. The pain and suffering experienced by Gabrielle and Xena had set all of Olympus against Hera.

"We can do this, Gabrielle. Come on."

Gabrielle offered a weak smile; rather impressed that Aphrodite could take charge of the situation. The feeling was short-lived, however.

"Just quit saying you're going to have that baby. That is just way too grody to even think about."

"I knew it, I just knew it!" Xena shouted. "And you just couldn't wait to send her out there…with Aphrodite of all people."

"They're not actually that late," Ephiny responded. She was just as concerned, but couldn't explain to Xena what she had been feeling.

"They've been gone for an entire day! Yesterday she said it would be a few candlemarks. She's with a Goddess. It isn't like they had to stop for the night."

Ephiny had been trying to display an outward calmness in hopes that it would affect Xena. So far, that hadn't worked at all. Xena took everything that anyone said to her as patronizing. The warrior was right about one thing. They couldn't remain passive. They had to take some sort of action.

"Look, Xena - "

"So help me, Ephiny, if you say you're sending another message to Andralen with those damn birds I'm going to wring your neck. Right after, I'm going to do the same to those freaking pigeons!"

"Okay, okay, no more messages with the birds."

Ephiny clearly understood Xena's reasons for worry, but the Regent didn't know quite how to explain that she had a certain feeling about Gabrielle. She didn't know how to explain it herself, but although Gabrielle had been missing for nearly a full pass of the sun, Ephiny simply knew her Queen wasn't in harm's way. She had no idea how to convey that very abstract feeling to a very worried Xena. Ephiny doubted it would have done any good anyway.

"I'm open for suggestions, Xena," Ephiny continued. "Andralen said that when Gabrielle and Aphrodite left the settlement, they were both fine. The only thing I can think to do is have a search party set off for the settlement and hope we run into them along the way. Maybe Aphrodite did get that virus they were talking about and they had to walk the rest of the way."

"I hope you're right, and yea, that's about all we can do right now," Xena answered, taking some heart from Ephiny's confident answer.

"Ep, get a search party together. I want Sika along. She's the best tracker we have," Ephiny ordered.

Eponin didn't even answer. She simply rushed off to make the arrangements.

Xena pursed her lips and whistled. Moments later Argo stood waiting beside her mistress. Xena jumped up and landed softly upon the animal's bare back.

"The more people, the slower we go. I'm taking Argo and heading out now. Catch up when you can. I'll take the main road. If anything did happen, Gabrielle would be sure to stay along that route."

Xena's actions didn't surprise Ephiny. It was quite evident that Xena was dangerously close to losing what shreds of patience now held her together. It wasn't simply about Gabrielle, although that would have been nothing new for Xena. The overprotective behavior had become second nature for Xena ever since their baby's, life force had been returned to them.

"Damn, I forgot about the girls. Tai's gonna freak," Xena turned around to address Ephiny just as Eponin rejoined them, leading two horses. The warrior was afraid Tai would be frightened if both Gabrielle and herself turned up missing.

"I'll take care of it. Tai loves Sartori. I'll have the kids stay with them and explain to Tai. Go one. We'll catch up as we can."

"Thanks, Eph!" Xena called back, leaving the Amazons choking on a cloud of dust.

"How long do you think it will take her to get there," Eponin asked as she tossed a saddle on her mare's back.

"I figure it takes almost five days to get to the settlement on horseback at an easy pace. The way she's moving, it won't take more than 2 days tops."

"What do think really happened to the Queen?" Sika asked Ephiny as she joined the group.

"Not sure, but I have a feeling. I know, you'll think I'm nuts, but it's like…like - "

"A gut feeling." Sartori joined them, finishing Ephiny's sentence.

"Exactly. Do you feel it, too?"

"Yes, but I can't explain why, which I find odd in itself. Adia has the same feeling so I can only hope that our mutual intuition is correct," Sartori answered.

Ephiny opened her mouth to speak, but Sartori raised a hand to stop her. Eponin already told me that Xena left. I'm on my way to collect Tai and Emery right now. I'll let Tai know that there's nothing to worry about."

"Sartori, you're a life saver. Everyone ready?" Ephiny looked around as the group on horseback nodded their heads. Without another word, they rode from the village.

Sartori smiled when she saw her mate walking toward her. The tall healer carried Xena and Gabrielle's additions to their family, one in each arm. Adia carefully deposited baby Emery into Sartori's arms.

"Can I ride on your shoulders again, Adia? Can I?"

"May I," Sartori added.

"You want to, too?" Tai looked up at Sartori.

Adia laughed and kissed her wife on the cheek. "Does she remind you of her mom?" Adia scooped up the youngster and perched her upon her shoulders.

"Wow, I can see everything from here," the small girl said.

"Tai, Xena had to go get Gabrielle, but I think they'll both be back soon."

"'Kay. Mama's okay…just late."

Sartori and Adia exchanged stunned glances. "How do you know that Gabrielle is okay?" Sartori asked.

Tai shrugged. "Just know."

"Well, we all feel it, I guess," Sartori said to Adia.

"Hope we're all right," Adia replied. "Although, I think by now we should be used to the fact that our Queen does have a knack for finding trouble."

Sartori smiled at the statement. "I think Gabrielle would argue that trouble seems to find her."

"Either way, I feel rather sorry for any trouble that's bothering Gabrielle right about now."

"Indeed," Sartori agreed. "They have evidently never dealt with the Queen's Champion."

"Yep. If they only knew that in another day or so old tall, dark, and pissed off will be hot on their trail, they'd run for the hills," Adia said with a chuckle.

Aphrodite led Gabrielle off the road and up a small grassy hill. The young Queen didn't say a word. She allowed her aunt to lead her into a rather sizable wooden feeding stall. Gabrielle recognized the enclosure from her days in the farmland of Potidaea. Farmers with a great deal of land filled the buildings with hay, leaving them open to allow their stock to feed in the winter.

Gabrielle gave a tired sigh followed by a grunt of pain as she settled her back against a pile of bundled hay. A jumble of thoughts and fears raced past her mind's eye. She didn't want to give in to her fear, but the contractions had become more frequent. The pain grew a little stronger with each one, no longer the light flutters that had first tickled her belly. Another contraction took hold of her small body and Gabrielle felt the familiar pressure that indicated that Brianna had no intention of waiting until her due day.

"Oh, Gods!" Gabrielle couldn't keep from crying out.

"Okay, like I don't know what to do. This cannot be happening!" Aphrodite paced back and forth as agitated as Gabrielle had ever seen her.

Gabrielle's cries came more frequently. She silently consoled herself that while the pain was enough to take her breath away, it felt distinctly different from her last experience at giving birth. Then, something had felt wrong from the onset. The agony had gone on for what seemed like candlemarks. Now, it was happening fast…almost too fast.

Aphrodite continued to look around and pace the small building. She looked more terrified than Gabrielle.

"Okay, you have got to stop this whole thing. I mean it. Quit fooling around, Gabrielle!"

"Aphrodite - " Gabrielle bit her lip in order to swallow the agony of another fierce contraction.

The Goddess went pale as she stood there, wringing her hands and looking as though she might faint at any moment.

"No, no, no. This can't be happening. I can't do this, Gabrielle. I can't do this at all. I'll find someone. That's it. There must be someone around to - "

"Aphrodite!"

Aphrodite froze at the sound of Gabrielle's voice.

"Aphrodite," Gabrielle said from between clenched teeth and panting breaths. "Whether you like it or not," she sucked in what appeared to be a painful breath. "I…am…having…this…baby!" Gabrielle nearly shrieked. "And, I'm having it right now. I can't do it alone, though. Please, Aphrodite…I'm so afraid."

Aphrodite's expression changed. Her brow furrowed together and she looked down at Gabrielle. Her face grew serious and she very nearly looked as though she was staring directly through Gabrielle.

Aphrodite's physical features changed as Gabrielle looked on. The Queen had never had the opportunity to see Aphrodite in any light other than as the frivolous Goddess of Love. Most people, even Aphrodite's own family, had never thought of her as anything but shallow and empty-headed. Only those who caught the Goddess during one of those rare personal moments when she let her guard down would see her as Gabrielle did just then.

"All right, then. Let's get to work," Aphrodite moved away from Gabrielle, scurrying around the building and gathering up a number of cloth sacks that looked to be cleaner than the rest. She scooped up two other items near the back of the stall.

"Aphrodite?" Gabrielle's frightened voice called out.

"I'm right here, Sweet Pea." She rushed back to Gabrielle and knelt beside the young woman.

"What are you doing?" Gabrielle asked.

Aphrodite smiled confidently as the young woman. "Getting ready to introduce your baby girl to the world."

Gabrielle reached out and Aphrodite took her hand. The Goddess's grasp was deceptively strong, surprising Gabrielle with a strong sense of reassurance.

"You may have to help me a bit," Aphrodite said. "It's been a long time since I had Cupid. Talk about labor pains. Try giving birth to a kid with wings, then we'll talk."

Gabrielle found herself smiling in spite of what she was experiencing.

"Like, that's a day I'll never forget. Wanna hear about it?"

Gabrielle nodded.

"Atta girl. Well, it happened like this…"

"A few more seasons and she's gonna knock 'em dead," Aphrodite said as she handed the small crying bundle to Gabrielle. "How can something so tiny eat so much?"

"Well, she is my child, after all. Oh, Aphrodite she's so beautiful," Gabrielle replied as she looked down at the baby pressed against her chest. "I didn't know she would be so beautiful."

"Did you try to project yourself to Xena?" Aphrodite asked.

"I tried, but she keeps her mind so closed. Besides, I'm not even sure yet if I'm doing it right. I tried to send a sort of mental picture to the Amazon village. I figure someone will tune in to it."

Tears fell from Gabrielle's eyes when she looked down at Brianna, but she had never been happier. All she could think of was how much she wished Xena had been there to share in the overwhelming emotions. After their last experience under Hera's curse, Gabrielle had so wanted Xena to be at her side during the birth. Actually, she hadn't told anyone, even Xena, exactly how frightened she felt, as her due date grew closer. Gabrielle had been certain that no one but Xena would be able to help her get past her fear. Then she thought of Aphrodite.

Lately, Gabrielle had been feeling more and more comfortable around the Olympian Gods. After all, Ares had been seeing her every day as part of her instruction on the magical arts and her father had even been a frequent guest at their dinner table. Gabrielle had always had a soft spot for Aphrodite. She felt that the Goddess had always meant well, even if her plans did sometimes go astray. As familiar as the Gods had become to her, Gabrielle still hadn't felt as though these people were family. Seeing the change that had come over Aphrodite, just when Gabrielle needed help the most, had altered her perception of the Goddess, along with the idea that these immortals were a part of her or she with them. During Brianna's birth, Aphrodite had become a source of strength that Gabrielle had never anticipated. The Goddess had not only taken complete control of the situation, but, with her own strong and compassionate attitude, Aphrodite had instilled a feeling of confidence within Gabrielle.

"I don't know what I would have done without you," Gabrielle said.

"Hey, just tryin' to do my part as Auntie Aphrodite."

"Well, I'll never forget how you held it all together. You sort of…well, to be honest you surprised me."

"Yea, well, between me and you, I kind of surprised myself, too. No one's ever…you know, depended on me before, needed me."

"I needed you, Aphrodite, and you came through for me."

The Goddess smiled and Gabrielle wondered if it was possible for Gods to blush.

"Just don't get used to it," Aphrodite teased. "Stepping in to save the day is so not my gig, ya know."

Gabrielle chuckled. "I think it just might be. Maybe more than you realize."

"Right!" Aphrodite answered before laughing. "You and I both know I'm not cut out for the whole Queen's Champion thing. I think I'll leave that for - "

"Me."

Both women turned toward the door in order to see who had finished Aphrodite's sentence. Gabrielle already knew that voice. The low, female alto was unmistakable to Gabrielle's ears. Xena looked as though she hadn't slept in days, her hair was wind blown from the wild ride she'd just had.

"Xena!" Gabrielle exclaimed and the tears returned.

Xena wasted no time in rushing to kneel beside her mate. "Bri, you had me so worried. I - " She wrapped her arms around Gabrielle, pulling back at the last moment in surprise. Sapphire eyes went wide at the sight of the now sleeping bundle lying against Gabrielle's chest.

"Gabrielle." It was the only thing that Xena could think of to say. She just stared down at the baby.

Brianna, somehow sensing that it was her turn to make an appearance, stretched and yawned. She opened her eyes and made a gurgling sound, falling back asleep instantly.

"By the Gods! She's beautiful," Xena said at last. "My heart, I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone." Xena carefully slipped her arms around Gabrielle and kissed her gently.

Gabrielle was rather glad that she wasn't the only one crying as she watched Xena stroke the infant's head, tears falling slowly from those same sapphire eyes. "I wasn't alone, Xe. I was with my aunt."

Xena looked on as Gabrielle and Aphrodite exchanged a glance. They smiled in such a way that Xena knew there was much more to the story. It was obvious that something special had passed between the two women. She had no idea how Aphrodite had come through for Gabrielle, but she shouldn't have been too surprised. After all, only a few days ago she had told Tai that when we needed it the most, the greatest heart and strength could come from the most unlikely of people.

"Thanks, Aphrodite," Xena said.

"All part of the service."

"You two missed your mark a little in trying to get home, though, didn't you?"

"Unfortunately, Aphrodite came down with - "

Aphrodite sneezed and bubbles began to float down from the sky. Each pink, translucent bubble had a furry pink teddy bear inside with a red heart on his belly.

"I see," Xena replied with a chuckle. "Brianna, look what your Auntie Aphrodite made for your birthday." She burst one of the bubbles and grabbed the bear out of mid air.

The acknowledgement wasn't lost on Aphrodite. Having Gabrielle accept her was one thing, but having the hard sell warrior claim her as family touched the Goddess's heart.

"You okay?" Xena asked.

"Yea," Aphrodite shook her head and moved toward the large door. "I think I just got something in my eye. Guess I'll give you guys a few minutes to…you know." She practically ran from the enclosure.

"For being the Goddess of Love, I don't think Aphrodite handles real affection too well," Gabrielle said.

"Hey, happy Cupid's Day," Xena said before she leaned over and kissed Gabrielle's forehead.

"Has that much time gone by?" Gabrielle appeared surprised. She grinned up at Xena. "I'll bet you tore the house apart looking for your gift. Didn't you?"

Xena tried not to look as guilty as she suddenly felt. "Not too much," she mumbled.

Gabrielle developed a sort of mischievous gleam in her eye. "Well, here." She carefully transferred Brianna to Xena's arms. The child looked even smaller held safely within the warrior's strong embrace. Gabrielle realized that even when she was quite old and gray, she would always remember that image, of Xena holding their newborn child, tears filling the warrior's eyes.

"She'll have to do for now. Happy Cupid's Day," Gabrielle responded, reaching up to kiss Xena's wet cheek.

"She's just what I wanted," Xena replied as her voice broke from emotion. "She's the perfect gift."

The End

#xena #xena/gabrielle #xena warrior princess #xena/gabrielle fanfiction #fanfiction #femslash #author: lj maas #pg-13

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