#...it's probably gonna take a while for me to get over the awe and actually open them up and start looking inside for goodies and stuff
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internetgiraffekid1673 · 3 days ago
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Bring Back the Bombshells Batgirls!
In helping a friend of mine map out who all has been Batgirl across various DC continuities, I remembered a little jaunt to TVtropes where it mentioned that in a charming little number called Bombshells, the batgirl identity is shared by a baseball team.
This reminded me to actually go READ Bombshells, and oh. My. GOSH. It is the BEST FUCKING THING EVER!
What is Bombshells?
Basically, almost every male superhero got yeeted from the story or relegated to side character/civilian, while every female superhero takes the spotlight and gets to KICK SOME NAZI ASS (it's set during world war 2). Plenty of people get spotlight, but I'm gonna argue that the MAIN characters are probably Kate Kane's batwoman, Diana of Themyscira's Wonder Woman, Mera's Aquawoman (she hates that name, lol), Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, Zatanna, and Kara Starikov's Supergirl. All the storylines tend to revolve around them.
Oh, also it's super gay. Like, every single character is a lesbian or bi, there's tons of ladies kissing and dating and having implied sex, and at least one character---one of the batgirls actually---is trans.
In summary, go read bombshells it's really good, but today I'm here to specifically talk about:
The Batgirls (and boys)
"One for the ribbon, two for the pearls! Three for the crimefighting---
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So first off, Bombshells is an elseworld, so it can do whatever the fuck it wants with backstories and shit.
Subsequently; this version of Kate Kane is a major league baseball player, and her Batwoman costume is literally just a pallet swap of her baseball costume (plenty of people figure out her "secret" identity because of this, but she's not super concerned about it). She uses an actual bat as her main weapon as Batwoman, and it kicks ass. More fanfic writers, and hell, comics writers need to hand the Batfamily some baseball bats, because it gives us scenes like this:
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Or this:
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(Yes her bat has a gun, it's supplied by Amanda Waller through goverment money, don't question it. Her baseballs are also explosives).
Oh, and also this:
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Anyway, point is, Batwoman has a bat and it's great. But this means when Gotham's bat-weilding protector gets drafted into the Bombshells to go fight Nazi's, some new faces have to pick up the slack in Gotham.
And so:
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Inspired by their vigilante/baseball hero, Harper Row, Kathy Duquesne, and Nell Little pick up some bats of their own and start busting up crime! The three of them are mechanics, that old car is their batmobile, and they're the best of friends!
Of this original trio, Kathy is "the brass" or the leader, and she remains nominally in charge through the whole thing. Nell is "the brawn" and while every batgirl is good in a fight, Nell is a bit of a demolition specialist. Finally you have Harper, "the brain" who invents their gadgets, works on their batmobile, and also jokes that she's the mascot, as this whole thing was her idea.
They don't stay a trio for very long though! They're quickly joined by "the beauty" Alysia Yeoh, an old friend of Kathy's, in an effort to break Cullen Row out of a prison-like orphanage (she's the t-girl btw):
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You may notice another girl crouched in the corner up there too! That's Bette Kane, Kate's niece and the rightful owner of Kane Industries who will forcibly take it over, clean it up, and use it for good on her 18th birthday in like a week!
In the meantime though, she heard about the batgirls and decided she wanted in! She crashes their jailbreak and helps them wreck shop! She mostly shares the "brass" role with Kathy---a leader in her own right.
Anyway, their now quintet quickly finds the awful headmistress of the Pinkney orphanage berating one Tim Drake, who still has a living dad somewhere, but was snatched up by a dirty cop because this whole city runs on Newsies rules (not even kidding, I'll get there in a sec). Turns out Tim and Alysia are old best friends. Anyway, Tim fills them in on the sitch: the headmisstress has been using the orphans as slave labor to build war robots for the nazis.
The batgirls (now including Tim!), bust up the basement and the robots, free all the orphanage kids, including Cullen, toss the awful headmistress and the dirty cop helping her to one Detectice Maggie Sawyer---Kate's wife---and the day is saved!
In the subsequent week, Bette takes over Kane Industries, starts funneling funds into housing for immigrants and refugees and relief and aid and all that good stuff, and also recruits the final batgirl of the team: Felicity Smoak (the chick in braids)! Thus we have a full team!
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Who's who in the alt text
I'm only halfway through Bombshells, but the batgirls and their adventures are a recurring plot thread, since protecting Gotham is entirely up to them while Kate is away. They gain lots of other allies and enemies (including one hispanic immigrant Lois Lane who does straight up help them pull a newsies and make their own newspaper with the real news in it at one point), and their sections are probably one of my favorite parts about the comic. It just feels so sweet and high school, while still feeling Batman-esque/Gotham-typical.
Why You Should Care:
Now. I may only be halfway through Bombshells, but I am in LOVE. With the story and the characterizations and everything!!! And the batgirls are a personal fave of mine cuz I'm a sucker for found family and teens fighting crime and bat-weilding superheroes!
But my point is: for all that fanfic loves these tropes too, there is NO fanfiction for them (or at least not on ao3). There's practically nothing for the Bombshells continuity PERIOD, which is a shame, but also to be expected for an elseworld.
But that's why I'm here and telling you about it!
You guys! This is fanfiction! We love flinging the batfamily through alternate universes and making lots of different characters take on the familiar Batgirl and Robin roles!
Why not bring forth the Bombshells Batgirls?
If you're writing your own elseworld, I suggest you nab this adorable team, or something like it! If you're writing an alt universe crossover, feature these guys!
They are the Batfamily found family you want! They CALL THEMSELVES a Bat-family! They all move in together! They loooooovvveee each other! And, as is the nature of the Batgirl mantle, they do what they do largely as independent operatives without adult supervision!
I would really love to see these guys yeeted into an alternate universe and have to cope with just HOW different their continuity is. Not only will they inevitably be flung way into the future, since they're around in the 40s, but in most continuities they're completely unconnected from each other and are absolutely not a team of bat-weilding crime fighters! It would be so baffling for any mainline batgirl and robin to meet a team that is so disconnected from them and so unconditionally supportive of each other and so Badass Adorable!
In Summary:
I may have lost the plot a little with this, but my points are:
Bombshells is really good and you should all go read it
Bombshells has a team of adorable bat-weilding batgirls that has all the found family crime fighting tropes you could want without the bad blood of the mainline batfam
More people should write fanfiction for Bombshells
The Bombshells!Batgirls in particular I think are a great place to start with that. Nab the premise of a baseball team being crime fighters, or Gotham being protected by a group of scrappy children whenever the big bad vigilantes are away, or give these colorful kids their Bombshells!backstories.
Also use the Bombshells universe in particular when you're flinging bats across the multiverse. Yeet these babies into a mainline comics verse and let the juxtaposition and chaos run WILD! There's a million and one of these fics for the Young Justice cartoon, I know ya'll can do it for Bombshells
Also. Take every opportunity to give your Batfamily, and your Batgirls in particular, an actual bat. It'll be so much fun, I promise
Anyway, I'll probably be back with another Bombshells rant later, PEACE!
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burningcomputerpersona · 11 days ago
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my cds (and cassette tape) finally arrived in the mail today!!
#I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS#was getting 10 cds and a cassette tape at once maybe a bit overkill? possibly#but i saw the bogo free sale banner and my brain lept at the chance to get more cds for half the price lol#i feel like my collection might be growing a bit too fast esp considering i only started collecting them this fall#but also I HAVE A WHOLE PILE OF CDS NOW LOOK AT IT THERE'S SO MANY AND THEY'RE MY FAVORITE ALBUMS TOO#it's like seeing blorbo from your music in real life in your home#just looking at a cd and being like !!! i literally listen to you every day i didn't know you were also Real#the difference between having something only on your phone even if you still see/listen to it a lot and having a Physical Thing is massive#just. i haven't even opened these up yet they look so pretty im just staring at them in awe while typing this rn#ykw 10 cds is a lot to unbox all at once and if they have extra stuff on the inside too i don't think I'd be able to fully appreciate it#i think im gonna save some of the unwrapping for later as a lil treat maybe for when im having a bad day#so i can come home and unwrap it and look inside and get that serotonin boost#just a lil something i can look forward to in the future :3#they said money can't buy happiness but it turns out i just did and my happiness comes in the form of physical media lol#and ykw i think this is a pretty sweet deal like if i had to choose any hobby to spend money on this would be a great choice#it's cheap you get to support your favorite musicians and you get infinite dopamine out of it (well as long as the cd lasts ig)#just. im still looking at them i cant believe the pictures and sounds from my phone are Real and i can touch them now#...it's probably gonna take a while for me to get over the awe and actually open them up and start looking inside for goodies and stuff#ive been meaning to take pictures of the cool stuff from the precious cds that i got but i still haven't gotten around to it lol#just. the emotions are too big. even just looking at it brings me so much joy that if i opened it up to find more stuff inside#it'd be too much for my brain to handle and it would just explode or something lol#anyway i think that wall of text is long enough so im gonna go admire my cds some more now#mine#cd#cds#cassette tape#music#reminder#for later#<- and that is so i actually remember to open them up and look inside instead of just admiring it like a painting
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curlicuecal · 2 months ago
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playing science telephone
Hi folks. Let's play a fun game today called "unravelling bad science communication back to its source."
Journey with me.
Saw a comment going around on a tumblr thread that "sometimes the life expectancy of autism is cited in the 30s"
That number seemed..... strange. The commenter DID go on to say that that was "situational on people being awful and not… anything autism actually does", but you know what? Still a strange number. I feel compelled to fact check.
Quick Google "autism life expectancy" pulls up quite a few websites bandying around the number 39. Which is ~technically~ within the 30s, but already higher than the tumblr factoid would suggest. But, guess what. This number still sounds strange to me.
Most of the websites presenting this factoid present themselves as official autism resources and organizations (for parents, etc), and most of them vaguely wave towards "studies."
Ex: "Above And Beyond Therapy" has a whole article on "Does Autism Affect Life Expectancy" and states:
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The link implies that it will take you to the "research studies" being referenced, but it in fact takes you to another random autism resource group called.... Songbird Care?
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And on that website we find the factoid again:
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Ooh, look. Now they've added the word "some". The average lifespan for SOME autistic people. Which the next group erased from the fact. The message shifts further.
And we have slightly more information about the study! (Which has also shifted from "studies" to a singular "study"). And we have another link!
Wonderfully, this link actually takes us to the actual peer-reviewed 2020 study being discussed. [x]
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And here, just by reading the abstract, we find the most important information of all.
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This study followed a cohort of adolescent and adult autistic people across a 20 year time period. Within that time period, 6.4% of the cohort died. Within that 6.4%, the average age of death was 39 years.
So this number is VERY MUCH not the average age of death for autistic people, or even the average age of death for the cohort of autistic people in that study. It is the average age of death IF you died young and within the 20 year period of the study (n=26), and also we don't even know the average starting age of participants without digging into earlier papers, except that it was 10 or older. (If you're curious, the researchers in the study suggested reduced self-sufficiency to be among the biggest risk factors for the early mortality group.)
But the number in the study has been removed from it's context, gradually modified and spread around the web, and modified some more, until it is pretty much a nonsense number that everyone is citing from everyone else.
There ARE two other numbers that pop up semi-frequently:
One cites the life expectancy at 58. I will leave finding the context for that number as an exercise for the audience, since none of the places I saw it gave a direct citation for where they were getting it.
And then, probably the best and most relevant number floating around out there (and the least frequently cited) draws from a 2023 study of over 17,000 UK people with an autism diagnosis, across 30 years. [x] This study estimated life expectancies between 70 and 77 years, varying with sex and presence/absence of a learning disability. (As compared to the UK 80-83 average for the population as a whole.)
This is a set of numbers that makes way more sense and is backed by way better data, but isn't quite as snappy a soundbite to pass around the internet. I'm gonna pass it around anyway, because I feel bad about how many scared internet people I stumbled across while doing this search.
People on quora like "I'm autistic, can I live past 38"-- honey, YES. omg.
---
tl;dr, when someone gives you a number out of context, consider that the context is probably important
also, make an amateur fact checker's life easier and CITE YOUR SOURCES
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icequeenbae · 13 days ago
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Initiation (m) | HHJ, YJI
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Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader x Jeongin
Werewolf AU, mates, PWP, fluff, smut
Warnings: explicit content, unprotected sex, threesome (duh), oral, mating, knotting, marking, some possessiveness if you squint (softdom!Hyunjin?)
Word Count: ~5k
Summary: You joined Chan’s pack a few months ago and it’s been great so far. But there’s been some frustration accumulating in you for a while that you couldn’t battle on your own. Thankfully, there are young wolves around ready to help you. And they might be even more willing to take care of you than you realize.
© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.
Author’s note: Okay, I’m finally back with a new story!! I know I’ve been a bit absent lately, but that’s cz I’m writing a whole HHJ novel lmao Not even kidding, that one is gonna be sooo looonggg… But in the meantime, I decided yesterday that I needed to write something short and fun that I can share with you asap, and this happened! I was up till 7 or 8AM writing this, so huge thanks to @tusswrites for helping me edit this so quickly!! Anyways, this is my first Stray Kids story, so I really hope you enjoy it and give me some feedback~ Thank you, sweethearts <3
Network Tags: @kvanity-main  @ksmutsociety
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You’d been feeling weird lately.
It was a feeling that washed over you from time to time, causing you discomfort, yet you still couldn’t place it. You tried to analyze the situation you were in when it appeared and figure out where it was coming from or what it was in general, but all your efforts were in vain. Something made you feel strange, and you didn’t know what or why.
It was definitely not the life with your new pack. You joined it 6 months ago after Chan’s vehement coaxing. You’d known him even before he became the alpha of his own pack, but after wandering around the world for several years and coming back to settle down, you found the citylife to be quite dangerous for a lone she-wolf. You didn’t want to admit that you needed protection as you were more than capable of fighting your own fights, but after being constantly harassed on the daily by cocky members of various local packs, you didn’t take much convincing. Chan was a good guy and a great laid-back leader, so you knew he didn’t offer this with any ulterior motive in mind. You’d have probably joined his pack even faster if not for one thing – it was full of men. And although you had no issues with young wolves with manners, being the only female wolf in the pack sounded questionable.
This made your mind blow up with questions and assumptions. What if they start harassing you as well? Chan would probably not allow that. What if they get overly possessive over you? You would probably not allow that either. What if you cannot handle living in the same space as them without any privacy? Well, you could always move back out… With the alpha’s permission.
Regardless of your reservations, Chan seemed relentless in his attempts to lure you in. You weren’t too surprised by that. There was a bond that alphas shared with their pack members. Whenever you meet your alpha, you feel like you are on the same wavelength. Some alphas are so in-tune with their current or potential packmates that they can even sense it when they meet their future mate. They do not know whose mate it is necessarily, but they can sense that it might be one. Not every alpha is capable of that though, although most of them can at least tell whether you are a good fit for their pack or not. Chan was quick to pass his judgement and inform you with all sincerity that you definitely belonged with his pack and had to trust his gut on this.
So, you did.
And you were completely stunned with the way it had turned out. You were guarded and cautious when you first joined. But the guys were actually so friendly and so welcoming that you felt at home mere days later. It was like they were your little brothers, whom you’d been living with your entire life. Sure, they were a bit awkward with you at first, but after the adaptation period was over, you were all set with your new family.
They took care of you, and you cared for them as well. You helped Minho and Yongbok cook dinner, bought art supplies for Hyunjin, scolded Changbin whenever he was too harsh on Han and helped them make up, looked after the maknaes and made sure they were not getting into trouble. You were also giving Chan a piece of your mind whenever he pulled all-nighters, too busy with his work, and then snapped at his poor pack members for interacting with him at the wrong time. At some point you managed to have him come back to his senses and remember to get at least 5 hours of sleep every night to prevent himself from turning into a wild beast.
Everything was going great until last week, when you finally noticed that the mood swings that bothered you for a few months now, were actually getting worse. You blamed it on the insomnia that you’d been suffering from lately. After all, you’d seen Chan becoming overly sensitive to everything after being sleep-deprived, but you had no idea what was making you so stressed. You had no issues within the pack, and your life outside was also pretty solid too. Now that you had your brothers around, no one was brave enough to walk up to you and challenge your bodily integrity unless they wanted to compromise their own. Despite you being older, your brothers took your protection seriously. When you joining the pack was not that widely known, there had been a few incidents that lead to physical altercations. And despite thinking that being told to sit down and let the boys handle this shit would make you angry, you actually felt giddy instead. They didn’t belittle your abilities in any way, but each and every one of them was the first in line to protect your honor. You appreciated their brotherly love towards you more than you’d care to admit. So much so, that you didn’t say anything to them, when their extensive protection made most wolves steer clear of you whenever they met you out and about.
And even as your behavior started to shift lately, they quickly picked up on that too. Yongbok and Changbin kept asking you if anything had happened. Minho made your favorite spicy pasta, which almost no one could handle apart from you two, and maybe Jeongin as well. Seungmin and Han tried to make you laugh with their silly antics. And yet, your bad mood did not lift for long.
Today you stayed home with Hyunjin, and he asked if you wanted to get some fresh air and join him on his way to a new art exhibition at the gallery downtown. You latched onto this opportunity to shake the dust off of yourself and maybe alter your mood with the help of this public outing, hoping that it might bring you some welcomed attention. With that in mind, you’d put a little too much effort into dressing up, which you realized only when your companion gave you a puzzled onceover. But when you asked if you looked inappropriate, he shook his head. Hyunjin wasn’t a man of many words most of the time, he only became talkative whenever he was drunk or simply in the mood for long chats. After a short ‘you look beautiful’ that made you feel a ping of this confusing emotional response inside you, he motioned for you to follow him outside.
However, after a few hours strutting from one installation to another in your incredibly unreasonable high heels, you became tired and capricious. To the point when you almost cried when Hyunjin sat you down on the bench outside one of the exhibition halls and disappeared for a few minutes, only to return with a pair of flat slippers. You whined that there was no way you would be seen next to him looking this ugly, and he hummed, crouching down in front of you and removing your shoes at once. He rummaged through his Versace bag and got a band-aid out, plastering it over an aching spot on your foot. While you were watching him, barely containing a shiver from the tickle of his breathing over your knee, he carefully inserted your feet into the slippers and grabbed your shoes in one hand, offering you to hold onto his arm. When you stood up, he couldn’t help but crack a dimpled smile, patting your head affectionately. After walking around in your insane high heels for hours, you now acutely felt how small you were next to him. It was a thought that made you flustered for no reason, so you frowned and made your way to the elevator, trying to seem like you were in a hurry to get back home.
A car ride home was unbearable. Your feelings were all over the place again. One moment you were grateful to Hyunjin for his attentiveness, the other you were mad at him for acting like your partner when he clearly wasn’t, and a second later you would be on the verge of crying for having no prospects of finding one either. Having no mate at your age was bothering you so much more than it should’ve, and at some point you managed to convince yourself that you didn’t care if you missed him earlier in life. Shit happens, you thought. Not everyone spent their lives with their mates, and even if you didn’t want to settle for less, at some point you might have to. And while considering this dreadful future, you had even decided that you would start going out with humans later. Dating a wolf who could very well meet their mate months or years down the line and becoming tossed to the side would be a traumatizing experience, so you vowed to avoid it at all costs. Even if your love life would be frowned upon by most other wolves, who did not consider humans to be valid partners.
These thoughts did not add positivity to your attitude, and by the time you came home, your mood was so sour that you barely acknowledged Jeongin in the living room, heading straight to the bathroom on your floor. You threw your clothes around as you got them off and removed your jewelry. Even wiping your makeup off was a chore that made you angry, so you stepped into the water almost boiling with frustration.
Taking an entire hour to finish your routine, you relocated to your room, throwing your pajamas on before crawling under the blanket. It was way too early to go to bed, but you hated the idea of being outside of your room when you had no grip on your emotions whatsoever. Snapping at your brothers, who were innocent in the matter, was not an option you were willing to explore. And it was not their fault that these thoughts and feelings suddenly came over you at random. So you stayed in, huffing and puffing for at least another half an hour, until you were interrupted by a knock on your door.
‘Can I come in?’ You heard Hyunjin ask from the other side of the door.
You didn’t want him to, but you also didn’t want to turn him away.
‘Come in.’
He slowly opened it, peeking inside before seeping fully into your room. His head cocked to the side as he took in your state.
‘Are you feeling well?’ He asked, approaching you carefully.
You shrugged, mumbling that you were fine. His nose twitched as he clearly checked if anything would be given away by your scent.
‘Are you sure?’ He asked, taking a seat on your bed.
It wasn’t unusual, the closeness he allowed himself, yet it made you even more unstable than you were before.
‘I don’t know, Jinnie.’ You whined, kicking the blanket up with one foot. ‘I’m a mess.’
He furrowed his thick dark eyebrows.
‘What do you mean?’
You pouted, feeling the frustration rise again.
‘I don’t know…’ You repeated, sounding like you were about to cry now.
On a whim, you scooted closer to him and threw yourself forward to hug him. Overcoming the initial shock, Hyunjin reciprocated with a tight embrace. His hands were gently patting your back, and it seemed like he had nothing against the physical contact.
‘I’m sorry,’ you muttered into his collarbone and tried to pry yourself away from him. ‘I know you don’t like skinship that much-’
‘Don’t worry about that, noona.’ He cut you off, dragging you back into himself.
You sat like that for a few minutes, and you calmed down a little, too focused on his heartbeat under your ear. There was also something else that you’d noticed.
‘Jinnie,’ you inhaled deeply. ‘You smell… nice.’
He froze, still holding you in his arms, and his Adam’s apple bobbing indicated that he was in a state of utter disarray.
‘What do you-’
The door into your room flew open, and Jeongin invited himself in.
‘Why are you making a cuddle nest without me? You know I am the best candidate to make you feel better, noona!’
He jumped on the bed, making you huff in amusement.
‘See? You’re already smiling.’ He wrapped his arms around your bicep and continued. ‘Let go of this hyung, I am all you need.’
Hyunjin raised his eyebrow, likely feeling competitive after this comment.
And for the next ten minutes, they were busy fighting for your attention.
‘It must’ve been you,’ Jeongin nagged at the older wolf. ‘She spent the whole day with you and came back angry. I am pretty sure…’
‘It’s not. I’ve been in a weird mood lately, that’s all.’
‘Oh?’ He perked up from your thigh, where he’d been resting his head. ‘Weird how? Don’t tell me-’
‘What?’ You and Hyunjin asked in unison.
‘Are you like… frustrated?’
‘I am,’ you nodded, misunderstanding his question.
‘You know what I mean? Like… sexually?’
At this, you opened your mouth, completely offended by the suggestion.
‘What the hell?’ You shoved him in the shoulder, trying to get him off of your thigh.
‘No, but that would be so great,’ he told you despite the commotion. ‘Because it’s not that hard to solve.’
‘Yeah right.’ You grumbled, making both wolves look at you. ‘What? I am not admitting to anything!’
‘You don’t have to, my face is inches away from the only thing about you that is truthful right now,’ the youngest noted without a care.
Hissing, you shoved him off, pulling the blanket over your knees again.
‘What? It’s only the truth.’ He rolled his eyes at your reaction. ‘Just get someone to fuck you and you’ll be alright.’
You sighed.
‘Yeah, ‘cause that’s so easy.’
Jeongin sat up.
‘What do you mean? If it’s not easy for you, who’s it easy for?’
‘Someone who doesn’t have a few wolf brothers to rip into anyone looking their way?’
‘We only rip into assholes who bother you,’ Hyunjin interjected.
‘Right. And the non-assholes watch that and think, ‘oh great, I’d love to hit that after they’re done with the other guy’. Sure.’
‘If they think like that they don’t need to be hitting that anyway.’ He replied curtly, and you pouted again.
‘Remind me again why you were surprised I cannot get laid?’
‘You shouldn’t give yourself over to guys like that, noona.’ Hyunjin pressed.
‘Agreed. You could always ask someone else for help. Like, I’d definitely help the hell out of you right now,’ Jeongin said, reaching your thigh with his hand and squeezing it.
‘Then you better do that, because I am already planning to get a tinder account and grab me some human!’ You suddenly confessed, startling both of the wolves.
‘You’re- what??’ Hyunjin gasped in your ear.
‘I didn’t think you were actually that desperate, noona…’ Jeongin muttered, licking his lips. ‘But I can deliver on my offer, if you really mean it.’
You swallowed under the scrutiny of the two pairs of eyes, and leaned back into Hyunjin, suddenly feeling weak from the stress of it. In any other state you might’ve been able to think it through and decline. But right now you suddenly had no care for the consequences of your actions.
‘Do it.’ You exhaled, watching the youngest wolf purse his lips to contain his excitement.
Before you allowed yourself to think about the current chain of events, you grabbed Hyunjin’s arms and wrapped them tighter around your frame. For some reason, you didn’t want him to go either.
‘Are you sure about this?’ He asked in your ear, and you shivered from his hot breath.
You turned to give him a reassuring nod.
‘It’s easy to give into temptation when you’re vulnerable. We can’t take advantage of that,’ he continued, brushing a strand of your hair to the side.
You felt overwhelmed by his comment, but then the youngest inserted himself into this exchange.
‘Are you that scared of Chan?’ He chuckled.
‘Chan? What does he have to do with anything?’ You asked in confusion, while they were throwing daggers at each other with their eyes.
‘Because hyung told us in graphic terms that he’d rip our faces off if we tried to coerce you into something like that.’
‘What the hell??’
‘My thoughts exactly. I think you’re the one coercing me into getting down for you, noona,’ he smiled, playing with the hem of your pajama shorts.
‘Why would he say that though?’ You asked Hyunjin this time.
‘I don’t know. I guess he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable around us?’
That made sense, sort of. But you weren’t sure if that was simply due to your reluctance about joining an all-male pack, or if there was something else going on. Jeongin’s hand dipping between your thighs disrupted your already flailing thought process.
Hyunjin growled lowly, warning him, and he looked at you for approval.
‘Take them off,’ you told him, and he smiled, tugging your shorts off immediately.
‘Noona…’ Hyunjin protested hoarsely, but you squeezed his forearm.
‘I am the one initiating this. Forget whatever Chan told you.’
‘It’s not about what-’
‘I want you here. Do you want to stay?’ You asked him, and his grip on you tightened, as if you could kick him out for real.
‘Yes.’
‘Then stop nagging. And kiss me.’
He looked down at your mouth and swallowed, leaning in.
‘Shit noona, you are soaked…’ The youngest distracted both of you with his eagerness. ‘Do you always wear such skimpy underwear at home? I could fuck you without taking it off.’
Before you answered, he pulled the item of clothing to the side and ran two fingers between your wet folds. Without wasting anymore time for chitchat, he leaned in, attaching his lips to your pussy.
‘Ah fuck!’ You jolted, steadied by the arms around you.
In fact, Hyunjin’s iron hold made it even more egregious.
Jeongin made it known that he was enjoying himself, humming into you as he licked and sucked your sensitive flesh. You could feel his spit drip down to your hole, and clenched around nothing, clawing at Hyunjin’s forearm.
‘Innie, shit…’ You cursed, looking down at his fluffy head between your legs.
He seemed pleased by the feedback he was receiving, so he started alternating between various techniques. When he switched to quick sharp licks up your slit, you started shaking.
You threw your head back, bumping into Hyunjin’s shoulder. He was still tense, and you turned your head to inhale his familiar scent that calmed you down before.
‘Jinnie, please touch me,’ you begged, trying to move one of his hands onto your breast.
His nose brushed against yours, and you felt his plush lips connect with the corner of your mouth. Grabbing him by the hair on the back of his head, you pushed him closer. He growled, mouth crashing on yours, and slipped his tongue inside it aggressively. When you felt his hand sneak under your pajama top to grab your boob, you whimpered loudly. His other hand pressed down on your belly, and Jeongin suddenly flicked your clit with his tongue, sucking it into his mouth harshly.
You cried out, trembling in Hyunjin’s grasp. You were too sensitive to withstand such an attack.
‘Innie, don’t stop- I’m-’ You sobbed, grabbing onto Hyunjin’s hand over your breast. ‘I’m cumming-’
The older one bit onto your ear gently before giving it a short lick, and your eyes rolled back into your head. Jeongin was still assaulting your nub, and your long animalistic wail was probably heard outside.
You were still breathless when you felt someone lift your hips, removing your underwear.
‘Give her a break,’ you heard Hyunjin say sternly.
You squeezed his bicep, causing him to divert his attention.
‘Don’t,’ you shook your head weakly. ‘I want to.’
Just a moment later, you felt Jeongin prod at your entrance. You whined as he inserted himself into you, barely having enough time to adjust before he began rutting into you.
‘Fuck, noona… You have a- a perfect pussy,’ he noted, sounding strained. ‘Ah shit-’
Despite being just a year apart with Hyunjin, Innie was still quite young and impressionable. You could tell how overly excited and aroused he got from going down on you, and you felt it in his abrupt thrusts that he was not going to last at all. But you didn’t mind.
You panted, the aftershocks of your previous release rekindling by the continuous slapping of skin against your pussy, and Jeongin began fucking you even harder.
But at this point you got too distracted by the heavy breathing in your ear. Hyunjin wasn’t even the one inside you, and yet, he was still the one making you go insane. You wanted to cry from his proximity, because he was close but still not close enough.
You squeezed his thigh and moved your palm to the side, finding his long, hard cock.
‘Jinnie…’ You mumbled, frantically shoving your hand down his pants.
His hips jerked forward as you grabbed his thick flesh.
You desperately, desperately wanted him inside. And he knew.
‘Don’t cum inside her,’ he told the younger one, who was definitely close to his orgasm, and shoved him with his foot.
You felt him slip out, cursing his hyung, who quickly flipped you around. Jeongin tugged your hips up to put you on all fours, and shoved himself inside you again. Your face was pressed to Hyunjin’s flexing abs while he fucked you from behind feverishly. With all the thoughts vanishing from your dazed brain, you resorted to kissing and licking the skin over his taut stomach and using your nails to leave shallow marks as he stroked your head slowly. The maknae’s fingers dug deeper into the supple flesh of your thighs as he came to the verge of his release.
‘Did you hear what I said?’ Hyunjin suddenly growled, loud and clear this time. ‘Get your ass over there and watch.’
Your skin was all covered in goosebumps from the commanding tone of his voice. You wanted him to use it on you as well, just so that you could defy him. Fuck around and find out.
But Jeongin was a good boy, so he did as he was told. As soon as he slipped out, you got pulled up the bed again. Hyunjin put almost his entire weight onto your back, making your elbows and knees give out. That seemed to be exactly what he wanted, and his dick slipped into your tight hole easily while you were lying flat on the bed. You moaned as his body moved in a wave-like motion, merging with yours completely. It wasn’t clear whether Hyunjin was that much bigger than Jeongin, or it was the position adding to it, but you felt so full that it made your pussy quiver helplessly.
‘Please, Jinnie…’ You whined, as his hips continued to snap forward. ‘Make me cum…’
He quickly pulled out, rolling you over like a ragdoll, and folded you in half, continuing to pound you into the mattress. You heard Jeongin moan from his spot on the chair, where he was watching you from. But you were too engaged to even try and pay attention to him, although you were sure that he was jerking himself off right now.
Hyunjin was destroying your pussy with methodical slaps, and you felt your big orgasm build again. You were going to cum so hard, you just knew it.
‘Mhm, deeper…’ You pleaded, your vision blurring as he hit so deep that your pleasure was beginning to hurt.
‘Do you want- want me to- want my cum?’ He asked, not slowing down at all.
‘Fuck, Jinnie…’
You trashed underneath him, causing him to let go of your legs, unfolding you, and lie on top of you. His pelvis snapped back-and-forth fluidly, and you made eye contact, catching his feral gaze that likely mirrored your own.
‘Fill me…’ You choked on your words. ‘Fuck, I want it- inside me-’
As your orgasm washed over your body, you completely lost it. All control over your actions slipped away from you, and you bit into his flesh that was closest to you, piercing his bicep with your teeth. You pulled back almost immediately, but before you could say anything, Hyunjin reciprocated, grabbing your arm and sinking his own teeth into your wrist.
With the added tinge of pain, you were still shaking violently when his cum flooded your insides. You wailed and screamed every time he thrusted, with his skin slapping against yours, until his cum started gushing out of you. When he stilled, you were on the verge of losing consciousness. The tightness in your hole kept you there, and you swallowed the salty taste of his blood, slowly realizing what just happened.
‘Dammit, hyung! You knotted her?’ You heard Jeongin come to his senses before you two.
‘Fuck off.’
Hyunjin didn’t sound like he’d let anyone mess with him right now, and it sent a tight pulse through your core. He watched Jeongin flee the room as he ran his tongue over his teeth, obviously aware of your body’s reactions to him. Licking his bloody red lips, he sobered himself up.
‘You fucking marked me,’ he told you, as if you didn’t already know.
‘I didn’t- didn’t mean to-’ You tried to justify breathlessly, fidgeting slightly. ‘It just felt so good that I…’
‘Stop talking. I can’t move, and you make me want to rip into you all over again.’
You pursed your lips as your pussy quivered around his rock hard knot once more, making your eyes tear up. Everything about him was sending you into overdrive, and you had no idea what to do with yourself. It suddenly dawned on you that this was exactly what you wanted this entire time, and you had no idea that it was making you frustrated. Not even realizing that your mate was right next door, quite literally. You could’ve had him months ago, but you were too preoccupied by other things in life like trying to build a family bond with your new pack to see what fell right into your lap, quite literally. The only wolf you needed.
‘J-Jinnie…’
His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he held his hips steady.
‘Baby. If you move even an inch-’ He sighed, pressing his forehead to yours. ‘If you cum again, it will only prolong this…’
‘But I- I want to!’ You whined, wiggling your hips. ‘Please, it’s so big…’
‘No.’
‘Hyunjin!’
‘I said no.’
The authority in his voice made your toes curl.
‘Fuck,’ he growled, jerking forward involuntarily as he felt you fall apart again. ‘You’re not gonna stop until you get yourself pregnant, are you?’
You sobbed, unable to snatch yourself out of the excruciatingly long orgasm.
Hyunjin pressed as deep into you as he could, trying to hold you completely still, and the tip of his cock brushed against your cervix. At this point you simply blacked out from the intensity of the pleasure, regaining your perception of reality only when your partner’s girth finally began deflating in your overstimulated pussy.
‘Are you back?’ He asked, voice a bit gruff but not low and menacing anymore.
It made warmth spread out in your chest as you nodded.
‘Does anything hurt?’
You shook your head first, and then nodded after noticing his expression.
‘It must hurt. I told you not to move, baby.’ Although he was admonishing you, it didn’t stop him from pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. ‘Give me a couple more minutes and it’ll be done.’
‘Okay,’ you mumbled, not that eager to let him go – he was your newly found mate, after all.
But your fragile intimacy was crushed by the loud voices in the hallway.
‘What the fuck did I tell you all about doing shit like that to her? I don’t care who-’
Chan burst through the door, stopping in his tracks.
‘Are you still going at it?!’ He asked, not fazed by the fact that Hyunjin was naked and on top of you.
After he tugged the blanket up to cover your bodies fully and turned to face his alpha, Chan gasped.
‘Don’t tell me- it’s you, isn’t it?? She’s your mate, right?’ He sounded more excited than angry now. ‘I knew it! I told you that you absolutely had to join-’
‘Hyung,’ Hyunjin cleared his throat, not even trying to sound apologetic. ‘We’re otherwise preoccupied, as you might see.’
Thankfully, he couldn’t see under the covers, and your mate’s body also shielded yours from the other wolf’s eyes, but you were still dying of embarrassment.
‘Oh- right. Wait, are you locked- You know what, nevermind. Keep going. I mean, finish up. I mean-’
‘Oh gosh, Chanie hyung!’ Yongbok groaned, grabbing him by the wrist and tugging him into the hallway before shutting the door. ‘Let them be.’
As their voices became less and less distinguishable, Hyunjin looked into your eyes, seemingly reading your thoughts.
‘No, he’s never going to shut up about it,’ he replied before you asked. ‘But I’m still grateful that he convinced you to join the pack. Thank you for taking him up on his offer.’
His last words made him tense, thinking back to someone else you took up on his offer.
‘You’re going to snap Innie’s neck, aren’t you?’
‘You’re fucking right.’
‘Jinnie…’
Masterlist
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A/N: Ahhh, this hot mess of a trio... I hope you enjoyed this little fun ride! Please comment and reblog, I really appreciate your feedback💜 And as usual, my asks are open~
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dollyichi · 14 days ago
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A LITTLE MYSTERY NEVER HURT ANYBODY . . . pro-hero katuski bakugou x f ! actress reader. m—dni / fluff / hints of ‘tension’ and maybe suggestive… / established relationship / little smau at the end / not proofread / minors don’t read this !!
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despite being a fairly new actress, you were able to catch the attention and hearts of the fans from your recent debut just two years ago. becoming a highly in-demand star, given every project possible just to be seen on the screen. however, you kept a secret. that one secret that could cause a frenzy, that the beloved actress of the nation is dating the one and only pro-hero dynamight.
they all assumed that they definitely knew the both of you are in a relationship… somehow. you had that certain glow and katsuki definitely made it sure that he’s not available. no matter how many fans tried to flirt, no matter how many interviews he’s gone through he says one thing very clear, “got a pretty girl already.” however, nobody knew it was with the two of you together.
countless articles are read about you, how you were overheard with a director from your upcoming series that you wanted to avoid any romantic scenes or a partner in general. which boosted more speculation on your ‘mysterious’ love life.
now, your manager says that she got you booked with a new project. you’ll be in a promotional shoot with a pro-hero for a fashion campaign with an upcoming designer. “that’s fine right? you’d be with someone in the shoot though.” your manager says. you shrug, looking over at the recent line the designer put out.
“it’s fine. no point in declining opportunities right?”
she nods enthusiastically, “that’s the spirit! we were actually surprised the team agreed immediately when they found out it was you. i heard they only accepted solo projects for him.”
you smile, “well whoever it’ll be i’m sure we’ll do great.”
the moment you step foot on the set, you were immediately greeted by the designer themselves. “y/n you’re so beautiful, you’re so perfect for us!”
“thank you for believing in me! please take care of me well.” you bow and was brought to your own dresser. quickly dressed in a silk robe and getting your makeup done. your hair was in curlers, the team taking their sweet time to make sure they enhanced your features for the shoot.
you hear a knock on your door, and you could hear your manager gasp when she opens it. peeking at the mirror with one eye, you see a familiar figure walking towards you, messing with the collar of his shirt.
“hey baby.” voice raspy and hoarse. now everyone in the room was shocked. looking at the two of you. to top it all off, katsuki places a quick kiss to your cheek and getting a stool to sit beside you.
your manager definitely felt like she was gonna faint. she had no idea what this was or when, or even how. everyone else was also in shock and confused, felt like time stopped somehow.
why is he now acting all lovey dovey in public? is what they all, including you, wondered.
“fuck baby you’re looking too pretty.” you giggle, trying to stay in place while the makeup artist adds their finishing touches. “thank you katsuki, no wonder you agreed to this shoot.” you say. the makeup artist finally says you’re done, you were all ready, just needed to change into the outfit.
katsuki was in a fitted velvet button up shirt with low-rise slacks. only the middle section of the shirt was buttoned, and for the first time in your career, your professionalism was definitely getting tested. just a little lower you could probably catch a glimpse of his happy trail. “who allowed you to wear that?” you motion with your head. but before he could answer you’re already turned around, moving behind the divider to dress up.
“aw come on, i know you fuckin’ like it.” he says loudly, then followed by the door closing. suddenly the staff was all on you after you stepped out. complimenting how you looked so good, how you’re going to be the new face of the brand after this. but most especially, the elephant in the room.
“i know everyone’s thinking you have a boyfriend but… dynamight?!”
“where, when, why, and how?”
“i never saw him speak that sweetly to anyone before….”
“i thought it was another celebrity! this is really unexpected.”
lots and lots of questions but they were immediately shut down by your manager who wanted to maximize the time. “we still got a shoot. y/n can tell us the details another time.” she gives you that look that reads ‘you better tell me everything’ and you give her an apologetic smile.
you take a look in the mirror, seeing how you matched with him. in a tight velvet dress that hugged your figure really well, probably a piece from the earlier collections. it’s pretty, the skirt is slanted with peaks of ruffled tulle.
you’re start walking to the set where katsuki was already waiting. “oh our princess! you look amazing.” the designer says, holding his hands to his chest. “i knew you and dynamight would look amazing together, i thank you both really.”
you grab their hands, “i’m really happy you paired me with him too!”
you approach katsuki with a smile, and he’s already grinning at you. “well shit this might be the hardest job i’ve taken yet.” he chuckles, placing a hand on your back to help you on the extravagant set.
you’re shining so bright and in your element that he’s just happy to be there. yet, the whole time he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off you, how his hold on you lingered, wanting to touch you even more, even deeper. despite the director giving clear directions that you followed with no fuss, he on the other hand just has to have a hand on you. but it definitely gave an effect on each shot.
katsuki couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you, eyes glimmering with desire. and how you’re looking at him with such a cool glare—it just felt so out of character for the both of you. who’s usually so sweet and him who’s usually so out for reach. “think i need you in this dress when i take you home.” he would whisper. and you’ll playfully hit him on his arm.
when you prepare for the next shot he’d always tell you things that’d rile you up. and when nobody’s paying attention he’d be looking you up and down. “bet you’re even prettier under this fuckin’ dress.”
even in between clothing changes you both looked picture perfect. both complementing each other’s visuals. he’d sneak you out from time to time to get a smooch here and there, resulting in the makeup artists on the set to fix him up because his and your lipsticks would smudge, wondering why he gets messed up all of a sudden.
“you’re so damn pretty baby. too bad the makeup’s gonna get ruined when we get home.”
“stop teasin’ during work kats…”
the last shot had you both seated on the carpet. it was sexy, your hand’s on his bare chest and he’s leaning in towards you with a finger under you chin. the two of you together felt magnetic. it’s so interesting to everyone in that room how the hero who’s usually uncontrollable became so compliant because if you. overall, it just felt too romantic, that petals of roses were somehow seen falling down on the both of you while you posed.
what was most unexpected was how katsuki really enjoyed being in front of a camera, as long as it’s with you (might’ve gotten a few ‘creative’ ideas too). he’s definitely making one of these photos his wallpaper when they upload it.
and the next day, that one shot trended all over the internet. blasted all over the digital billboards in the city too. finally seeing the elegant y/n who seemed to have helped show a new side of the pro-hero to the public.
showering the brand with praises and how much of a ‘genius’ they were for even choosing the two of you as the muses. because it really was just a coincidence that the owner was a fan of you both.
then there goes the online articles, the video complications, the noise that just won’t die down. tweets and photos, even a sudden rise in fanpages. dynamight and y/n, and the public that’s trying to piece every evidences of your interactions. how they were all tricked that your relationship was just under their noses. how in events you’re always seen together, or how your car was spotted in his neighborhood that one time. or when katsuki always keeps saying in interviews that his favorite shows and media always had you in it—main lead or not. the way nobody caught it even when you mentioned that dynamight was one of your favorite heroes. even showing them a small plushie charm that you carried on you hanged on your bag—everyone was stunned.
still, neither of you confirmed anything, yet.
till the moment the official account of the brand posted all the shots of you together, and it was very obvious how the two of you were actually in love, like the head over heels type.
well, the both of you are gonna have more projects together soon for sure.
bonus!
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do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works
note : i really like this actress au i’m definitely gonna make more 😔🙏 different versions for sure
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usoppsstar · 9 months ago
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Op men when you wear a revealing bikini🥥🥥🥥
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Pairings: One piece men x f!usually modest!reader
Characters: Luffy, Sabo, Law, Kid
Tw: suggestive themes but nothing explicit/food in Luffy's
Notes: these are headcannons and short stories; law is a horny dweeb; I went a little overboard with Luffy and Sabo's I think; law's gets the dirtiest; this is proofread but there may still be mistakes🥥🥥🥥
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🥥Luffy
He's playing with Usopp when he sees his jaw drop, so he turns around to see what he's looking at.
Believe it or not,Luffy's eyes widen a little when he sees what you're in. It is surprising. For the most part you cover yourself pretty thoroughly unless it's a hot day and even then your torso is usually covered, and any shorts or skirts you wear don't venture much further than your knees.
So Luffy is actually just the tiniest bit stunned when you walk onto the beach clad in one of Nami's bikinis, a cute bralette with a few strings doing a poor job of covering your cleavage, and bottoms that hang dangerously low on your hips.
It's not necessarily that he's seeing a lot of skin, Luffy doesn't really notice things like that and the majority of your crew walk around borderline topless anyway. In terms of the other ladies on board,Nami and Robin dress pretty revealing all of the time and Luffy's never cared, so no, it's that he's seeing a lot of your skin.
Unconsciously stares at you. It's mostly out of curiosity but he does like what he sees. Will probably embarrass you by blatantly checking you out for a bit, since Sanji has made it clear that he's not allowed to touch, and take in parts of you that he never gets to see. He'll likely forget that he feels a way and get back to goofing off after getting sprayed by Usopp, but throughout the day, whenever he wraps an arm around you or you bump or press into him, he's conscious of how much he's really seeing all over again.
Screaming, laughing, and talking disturb the tranquility of the small island the Straw Hat pirates decided to rest on. Nami and Robin relax under the shade of an umbrella Franky put up,while Sanji barbecues, Chopper, Usopp, and Luffy are busy chasing each other around with water guns, and Zoro is likely sleeping under a palm tree nearby. You yourself are busy walking over some more meat for Sanji. You're so focused on the wobbling tray that you don't realize Luffy is about to back into you until too late. He crashes into you, knocking the tray onto your chest and your butt onto the ground.
“Geez Luffy! Watch where you're going!” Usopp shouts from somewhere further up the beach while Luffy spins toward you.
“Oops. Sorry Y/n.” He says with a cute laugh as he reaches down to lift you up, but freezes when his eyes land on you. You're sitting on your behind and trying to get some sand out of your eye, but his gaze is focused a little lower than your face. Because he had bumped you, all the meat on the tray was now decorating the sand, but a few had been saved from the ground. Specifically two steaks that sit on your body, one in your lap, and one resting snug on top of your boobs. Luffy just blinks as fantasies he never even knew he had,come to life in his head.
“Aw man, Sanji's gonna be mad.” You sigh,before grimacing and sliding a piece of raw meat off of your breasts, leaving glistening juice behind. You reach for the one in your lap when Luffy quickly stops your hand. You look up at him and find that he's giving you a look you've never seen before. Close to how he looks when he's gotten serious during a battle, but there's a heat behind it, one that matches the one that builds embarrassingly quickly in your stomach because of it. Luffy gently pulls your hand away.
“Let me do it.” He says quietly, his eyes on yours until you nod your head. Both of your hearts are beating hard behind your chests as Luffy slowly reaches his hand into your lap. You hold your breath and it's as if he's grabbing for the steak in slow motion, until a voice calls out, and you both jump up like you just got caught doing something you shouldn't have.
“Luffy go and get me some fruit from the trees down the coast! I'm gonna make a sorbet with them!” Sanji calls out from the grill and both you and Luffy stand up quickly. He continues to look at you while you dust the sand off your legs and butt, struggling because the barbecue meat had made you sticky.
“Ok!” He calls back, without really taking his eyes off you. You look up when he takes your hand.
“Y/n,come with me?” He breathes out hurriedly, and you stumble for a moment, trying to think of what to say.
“I should probably rinse off though.” You mutter, not really wanting to do whatever you both had in mind while covered in raw meat drippings. Luffy just tugs your hand gently.
“We can do that too.” He sighs and that heated look is back in his eyes. Again he waits for your response, and after a moment you nod.
“Ok.” You say and butterflies swarm in your stomach as you let Luffy race with you down the coast.
***🥥***
🥥Sabo
He's waiting for you and Koala to get dressed so you can go down to the beach and looks up when he hears her gushing over something
Surprised
He can't help but follow you with his eyes for a moment when you walk out of the room with koala, You had a sheer shawl on but it did nothing to cover up the two triangles of fabric held together with a string bow and the straps of your bottoms resting high on your hips, revealing the sides of your vline.
He wasn't sure what bathing suit he'd been expecting you to walk out in but it definitely wasn't a bikini, a rather small one at that. Your typical outfits were more conservative, cute jackets and coats that match whatever shoes you're wearing,carefully put together tops and bottoms. He's never seen so much of your bare body before so he finds himself sneaking glances at you more times than he's proud of
It doesn't help that you stick next to him like you always do, and he's extremely conscious whenever and wherever your skin touches his now,
And it feels like that's happening a lot more than usual today.He doesn't know if you're doing it on purpose or if it's simply coincidence, maybe you noticed how red his ears turn whenever you hug his arm into your chest, or the way he can barely stop himself from freezing up a little when you brush against him, and you're doing it to tease him.
Feels the need to avert his eyes everytime they land on you, and when they do he knows he'll feel slightly guilty no matter where he looks.
Sabo wouldn't consider himself the kind of guy that struggles when confronted by a lewd display. If a woman were to try and seduce him by flashing a lot of skin, on a mission or otherwise,he probably wouldn't bat an eye. That's why he doesn't understand ehy he's so focused on the way you climb up the ladder of the pool, frozen like a statue in the middle of grabbing a drink out of the ice bucket. Water drips off and down your physique as you climb the rest of the steps, spilling down your thighs and chest as you wipe locks of hair out of your face.
Sabo swears you're moving in slow motion when you walk towards him. The softest parts of you bouncing tantalizingly with each step you take. The way you shake your hair a little. The small smile on your face. He wonders if he's imagining the sunlight illuminating your silhouette. He's still staring when you walk up to him with a sigh.
“Hey Sabo, can you hand me one?” You greet him softly and gesture towards the mini canteen in his hand. When you glance at him, Sabo recovers quickly, smoothly transitioning his horny gaze into a relaxed and cheerful smile, like only a skilled revolutionary like himself can pull off.
“Yeah no problem!” He answers coolly and reaches into the bucket before tossing a canteen to you. You catch it gracefully but yelp when a bit of the crushed ice clinging to the bottle, falls into your cleavage. Sabo is quick to step over, instinctively jumping to help you like he always does, all the while scolding himself in his head. How's he supposed to help you with something like this?
“It's ok, it's uh- melted already.” You laugh quietly, noting how jumpy Sabo has been since you walked out in this get up. Sabo is a skilled revolutionary but so are you, and like he guessed,you've been aware of his attention this entire time. At first it was embarrassing, but then it got a bit exciting, teasing him. You feel Sabo's gaze on you again, and decide to mess with him a little more. Tugging at the middle of your bra a bit, you draw it forward, and expose more of your breasts to him.
“See? All gone.” You say sweetly and look up at him to see his reaction. Sabo finds himself at a loss for words. Cool water droplets trickle over your girls, where you draw them together for him. You had to be doing this on purpose, and the thought of that really intrigued him. You bite your lip when Sabo clears his throat.
“Um-.” He just barely manages to say before he's suddenly pushed towards you. A beach ball bounces on the floor and you hear one of your coworkers yell an apology from the pool, but you're more focused on the man in front of you. Golden hair tickles your chin, and you flinch when you feel his breath puff just below your collarbone. You look down at Sabo, who's face to face with your boobs and bracing himself with your arms.
“Hey Sabo?” You ask tentatively. All you can see are his crimson ears from your angle, and you'd wonder if he was breathing if you didn't feel consistent puffs of air against your chest. You yelp when Sabo suddenly yanks you away and holds you at arm's length, his head down to hide his blush.
“Do you mind- helping me with something?” He says quietly before lifting his head, and the look he gives you is enough to make your knees weak.
***🥥***
🥥Law
He knew this beach day was a bad idea the moment penguin mentioned it, but because everyone seemed like they could use some sun and fresh air, he agreed, but the moment you walked out onto the sand, he knew he'd made a mistake.
Why'd you suddenly decide to wear something like that? A skimpy one piece bathing suit with a large diamond cut out of the center, showing off practically your entire torso, and he won't even get started on the back. Law didn't know if it was the design or if it was just too small for you, but either way the bottoms of your breasts were peeking out just the tiniest bit from being squished in the fabric,and it was extremely distracting, your entire outfit is.
You always seemed comfortable in the crew’s uniform jumpsuit, and when the crew docked you always wore modest, basic clothes. For as long as he'd known you, you've never been the type to show off or show out. Even your personality was a rather calm one, so this random choice of a sexy bathing suit didn't make any sense to him.
On pervert patrol and that unfortunately includes his own wandering eyes. He's quick to glare at penguin or shachi for any compliments they give you, but it's only because he himself doesn't have the guts to tell you how attractive he thinks you look. As for other people, his glare is so cold they could probably feel it from halfway across the beach. He even puts the rest of the crew on lookout duty to make sure no one makes you or Ikkaku uncomfortable
He has no confidence in this claim but sometimes it feels like you're bending over in front of him on purpose. Law wears a straight face the entire time and he even does a good job of suppressing his blush, but in his head he's thinking things that embarrass even himself.
Law's shades do a great job of concealing the way he admires you from his comfortable spot on his beach chair. You're sitting on your knees not far from him,busy building a sandcastle with bepo and Ikkaku. You're only patting on a few shell windows, but all he can focus on is the way your thighs squish under your weight, the high cut in your one piece revealing the crease between your thighs and pelvis. Law immediately sighs and tilts his head back before his thoughts can drift to how his hands would feel gripping that exact area. He hears footsteps approaching him and has to suppress another sigh when he looks up and sees that it's you.
“Hey captain, have you seen the sunscreen? I just remembered I haven't put any on.” You ask while looking between the chairs for your beach bag. Law doesn't even realize he's staring at you again until you bend over and he has to force himself to look away,for the sake of his own heart. You were sweating a little at this point ,and the view of your side profile in that outfit wasn't doing anything to help the little problem he was hiding with his book.
“It's in my bag, I told you all to put it on before we got to the resort.” He scolds you halfheartedly while you look around. His heart almost jumps out of his chest though, when you lean over him to get to his bag instead of walking around. Your boobs are dangerously close to spilling out of your top, and all he'd have to do is glance to his left to see your ass on full display.
“Yeah yeah, I know.” You mumble, not completely unaware of the way your captain was struggling. You've known him long enough to recognize his character quirks, even when he's trying to keep a straight face, and you could tell he practically short-circuited when you walked out in this bathing suit. It hadn't been intentional. You were wearing one of Ikkaku's because the shop owner at the resort closed the shop suddenly, but it was too small for you. You didn't want to wear it, but once you saw law's jaw clench and the way he bit at his lips the way he does when he's nervous, you wondered if you'd actually made the right choice.
“There it is.” You huff and mercifully lift up off of him. Law does his best to steady the rise and fall of his chest while you busily rub the sunscreen onto your skin. He glances over at you but has to avert his eyes when you start on your collar bones and dip down to your chest. Part of him is glad that you listened when he told you that even your skin tone can benefit from sunscreen, but another part of him is cursing his past self for putting him in this situation.
“Make sure you apply it thoroughly.” He reminds you before laying back and trying to get comfortable. Maybe he'll get some rest instead of embarrassing himself pining over you. He should be alright from here, but he only closes his eyes for a moment before you call out to him.
“Cap, can you help me with my back?” you ask sweetly, and law has to restrain a groan. He's in trouble.
***🥥***
🥥Kidd
Is surprised you even walked out in something like that
And even worse,you have the audacity to look good in it.
He's never seen much more than your arms and legs. You're always walking around the ship in sweaters and jeans or skirts. At first he even thought it was because you were insecure or something, but now he knows that obviously isn't the case.
He's almost offended, like, how dare you walk out here and stun him like that??? And how dare you make such a huge jump from being covered from head to toe to wearing a skimpy bikini? At least warn a guy! You're wearing basically nothing. A skimpy bikini with an incredibly small top, that barely holds your girls in and bottoms that could almost be considered lingerie.
All day he's hyper aware of any eyes on you and he's definitely mad dogging anyone that gets too good of an eyeful. It's because he's looking out for his people as your captain, he tells himself. Not because he's feeling a little jealous or anything. He's not even your dude( salty)
That doesn't mean he can't check you out though. He'll deny it if anyone mentions it, but he's definitely getting his looks in whenever he has a chance. How could he not when you looked so good? He won't lie, he's always thought that You've got a cute enough face, and your outfits are pretty cool, but kidd has always had a thing for sexy girls, and that has never been you until today, not fashion wise at least( there's times when you give him this look, like you know him better than he knows himself,and it pisses him off so bad but simultaneously makes him want to wife you up and bend you over the kitchen counter) but now that you're flaunting your stuff a little, it's making it even harder than before to pretend he doesn't like you, especially when his swim trunks are so tight.
“I got it!” Both you and Kid shout at the same time before lunging at the ball falling over your team's side of the net.
“Shit!”Kid curses and tries to stop himself but you collide against his wall of a body anyway. He's fine, but you bounce off of him like nothing. With a wince, you fall back a little but Kid manages to wrap a muscular arm around you right before you flop on your butt, practically lifting you off the sand. He tugs you back into him and you brace yourself with a hand against his chest.
“Thanks cap, I almost busted my-” You begin to say before you look up at the brightest red cheeks you've ever seen. Kid is blushing down to his neck, and it's because your boobs are smashed up against him. His heart beats quicker at the sight of your pretty skin tone contrasting against his own pale one. Your face starts to burn too when you realize just how much of his huge body is against you, that and the fact that he's effortlessly holding you up with one arm. You knew Kid was strong and well,huge, but being carried against him like you weighed nothing, tends to drive it home.You're extremely grateful your flush isn't visible like his is. Both of you snap out of your horny haze when one of your crew whistles loudly from across the net.
“Get a room you horndogs!” Killer calls out with a shake of his head, and the rest of your crew joins in, shouting and whistling at the way you two were caught all hugged up. Kidd quickly drops you back onto your feet and you immediately turn to your crew to deny everything.
“Shut up, it's not like that! Tell em Kidd!” You shout at them before turning to your Captain to back you up, but Kidd just sighs and rubs the back of his neck. You watch with confusion as he apparently makes up his mind about something.
“Eh fine, so what if it is like that huh?! You scrubs!” Kidd shouts back and your eyes widen, because he basically just admits that he was thinking dirty thoughts about you too. He looks down at you with a smirk and leans next to you.
“Isn't that right short stuff?” he groans into your ear and you almost fall to the ground again. The crew is causing a commotion all around you two but Kidd keeps his eyes trained on you until he gets your ok. No sooner do you roll your eyes and nod, does he pick you up and toss you over his shoulder.
“Hey!” You shout while you try to ignore the tingle building in your abdomen, and slap his shoulder but Kidd barely feels it.
“Looks like we'll be heading out!” Kidd calls out to everyone else with a dirty grin and a protective hand covering your ass, before walking off to a secluded part of the beach.
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A/n: I hope this wasn't too idk immature, I don't really know how to write captivating or enticing smut/suggestive stuff lol, so I'm yeh, feeling pretty insecure about this one. I do plan on doing a part 2 tho, so please lmk if you want it to be about more characters or a explicit continuation of these scenarios! Let me know who your favorite was too if you want. Thanks for reading!🥥🥥🥥
🥥Taggies: @cookieswithay ; @bokutosbiceps ; @stuckinthewrongworld ; @wrennyx ; @anyaswlrd ;
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honey-on-your-tongue · 3 months ago
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This is my first time in general givong a request, but hear me out...
...Logan Howlett/Miguel O'hara x reader, but the reader is tipsy and they go "im dumb" as a small joke. Later on, Logam/Miguel is just pounding into y/n and cooing like "aaaw, little princess to dumb to think. Hm?" Or "such an empty-headed slut" or stuff like that - like a mix of praise and degradation
Kinktober day three
I love this idea so bad I’m such a whore for mean!logan. sir please RAIL ME
Mean!Logan x fem!reader
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A couple of nights ago, the team had completed a successful mission. Obviously, you all had to celebrate.
You'd been drinking, more than you intended to, but you couldn't stop feeling so fucking stupid for liking Logan. He was older, probably barely cared about the fact that you existed. And if he did care, there was no way in hell he liked you. Probably thought you were a weird kid, even.
Sure, you two hooked up occasionally. It meant nothing. He probably just saw you as a way to let go of all the tension, while here you were, practically worshipping the ground at his feet.
That's why you're actually surprised when, late into the night, when you're well past your fifth or sixth drink, Logan walks up to talk to you.
“You did pretty good out there, bub,” he tells you. “Real good. Looks like those training sessions helped you out big time.”
You nod. “Oh, definitely,” you reply, words slurred.
He raises an eyebrow. “How many o’those have you had already, hm?” he questions, nodding at the drink in your hand.
“Um…five? Six? Can’t remember,” you shrug, taking another gulp of the alcohol. “Probably ‘cause I’m stupid.”
Logan blinks, confused and shocked. “Stupid? Why would you say that?”
You smile. “‘s just a joke,” you tell him, but he can hear the lie.
He frowns slightly. “It ain't funny, bub. You ain't stupid. You know that.”
You nod dismissively. “Yeah. I know.” You shrug.
For some reason, a few days later, as Logan is busy fucking you dumb, he remembers what you’d said.
I’m stupid. Those were your words.
He spanks your ass when your eyes roll back and you mumble something incoherent. “What’s wrong, baby? Hm? Stupid for me already?”
He smirks at the way your eyes widen, cheeks blushing with delight when your cunt clenches around his cock.
“Yeah? Is that it? Are you just daddy’s stupid little slut?”
You moan, your back arching, and you look almost horrifed at how much you’re anhoying the degradation.
He spanks you again. “I asked you a question. Use your words f’r me, bub.”
You whimper incoherently again and he laughs. “Aw, is daddy’s princess too dumb to think already? Hm?” He smirks, grabbing one of your legs and placing it over his shoulder, allowing him to thrust deeper into you.
You squeal. “D-daddy! Mhmm!”
“Yeah. I know, baby. You get so dumb when you’re on daddy’s cock. I love it so much.” He grunts, thrusting harder, deeper, watching your tits bounce every time.
He places a huge hand on top of your womb and presses down, forcing you to feel him even more. “Is my dumb baby gonna come f’r me? You gonna be good and come on my cock?”
You nod, desperately whining incoherently.
He chuckles. “Yeah, that’s right, baby. You ain’t gotta do anything. That’s why you’re such a good fuck—You get all dumb and all you gotta do is let daddy use your pretty cunt.”
---
Blog masterlist
Kinktober masterlist
UUUGHHHH mean logan has my panties a mess
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pinkroseblooms · 4 months ago
Text
obsessedloner!Choso/chubby!f!Reader) pt.1
Summary: modern day college au! Choso pines over his cute classmate. Ngl this is super self indulgent, probably OOC, with lots of fluff and smut, borderline crack really. Enjoy!
Warnings: stalking, unhealthy behavior, p in v sex, unprotected, possessive/obsessive behavior, smut, and etc. Choso is clingy and borderline yandere.
wc: 4.2k
You’re a sweetie pie, friendly to everyone but seemingly not close to anyone. You wear cute dresses and blouses, and have adorably round cheeks, so plump and cute, with a warm smile that puts every person you speak with at ease. Choso on the other hand, though not socially inept per say, simply doesn’t put much effort into socializing with his classmates or really any person outside his tight knit circle. All Choso really needs is his family and a couple close friends, the ones he’s had for years. He doesn’t need to win any popularity contests and with his pale, nearly translucent skin, inky black hair, and somewhat somber expression, Choso had something of a reputation for being creepy. Walking down the street, zoned out eyes and a thin lipped frown, it wasn’t uncommon for a person to double take, wondering if they had seen a hulking onryo in physical form.
And so, when he met you, Choso was at a loss. Suddenly everything he did seemed so awkward and stilted. He was fumbling over himself attempting to make your acquaintance; from being assigned to class projects or during group discussions, of which Choso found himself hanging on your every word with rapt attention no matter how boring the subject material actually was, he could never seem to find the right thing to say. It was a miracle when he was able to speak at all, outside of strictly school related topics. 
On a mild sunny day, it was a classmate had ultimately been the one to indirectly help Choso make a connection. They had pointed him out to you, who had been sitting unaware on a blanket in the campus courtyard with a book and a snack, Your peaceful, cozy study session outside was interrupted when a classmate came by to say hello and warn you of the strange man watching you from the smattering of trees and bushes surrounding the area.
“He’s always staring at you.” They winced as Choso ducked further behind the large oak he was half obscured behind. “What the hell? I can call security for you.”
“Oh it’s Choso.” you beamed in his direction, waving one of your arms over your head. “Hey Choso! Wanna study with me?”
Unsure if he was hallucinating, Choso ventured from his spot, steps heavy as he walked briskly to where you were camped out on the grass. Your classmate gave you a strange look. "Will you be okay?”
“Aw, he’s just shy.” you told them, your smile widening as Choso lingered a few feet away from the edge of your blanket.
“Uh huh. Alright then” 
With a shrug, they left you and Choso alone; for a few seconds, neither of you spoke.
“Hi.” Choso looked from you to the retreating classmate, and back to you again. “Can I sit down?”
“Sure!” you patted the spot next to you. “Are you hungry? I have some cookies in my bag, made them myself.”
You chatted with Choso about nothing in particular; he mostly nodded or gave one syllable answers as he munched carefully on the cookies you offered. He heard you talk about baking once or twice before; granted Choso is pretty neutral on most desserts but ever since hearing about your casual hobby, one of his favorite fantasies was you gifting him with sweets made with care: chocolate on Valentine's Day, a special cake for his birthday, or maybe you wearing nothing but a cute apron in his kitchen while he pinned you over the table and-
Well, maybe he's getting ahead of himself.
“You know, you could have just come over. How long were you gonna stand there?” you asked after Choso finished the cookies; you had brought extra, hoping to see him around campus again. Nothing said, "let's be buddies" like sharing homemade goodies, right?. “Besides, someone might think you’re stalking me.” you joked.
Choso hadn’t exactly meant to follow you; he really had intended to come over and greet you properly, ask if he could sit or if you wanted to get a coffee, something. Every time he tried to approach you, Choso ended up lingering near you, telling himself he would say something, a hello at the very least, but his feet would end up feeling like lead blocks and his palms would get clammy. Besides, you looked so content to be alone typing away on your computer or leisurely reading a book in your lap. What if you thought he was annoying? What if the only reason you treated him nicely in class was because you didn’t want to be rude and you secretly thought he was an off putting weirdo? Just imagining you looking up at him with apprehension or disgust made Choso’s resolve crumble. By the time he found an ounce of nerve to take a few steps toward you, you were already heading out of the library or the courtyard or the campus cafe and he was left feeling stupid and cowardly. Besides, of nothing else he could be near, just in case someone unwanted came along to bother you. Choso would put a stop to that easily.
“Sorry. I was going to, but you looked busy and…yeah.” Choso scratched at the bridge of his nose, nail grazing over the tattoo; his stomach flipped, remembering how you complimented it the first week of classes. No one else really talked to him but everyone seemed to like talking to you. He had been so surprised, he hadn’t even said thank you, just nodded and averted his eyes back to his notes. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
“You don’t bother me. Actually,” you pause before taking out your phone. “I was going to ask during our next class: do you want to exchange numbers?”
Choso looked up at you, stricken faced and back straight. “You were?”
“Sure, this way we can make plans to hang out.” you explain casually, smoothing out your skirt as you shifted toward him, contact list open and ready to add his name. With that brief movement, your skirt hiked up higher over your thighs just well past your knees; Choso bit the inside of his cheek and prayed you didn’t notice his gaze flicker downward. It would take less than a second to reach over, feel the exposed skin, squeeze with his rough hand, and then he could get a better idea of how it would feel to have his head trapped between your quivering thighs while he-
“You mean it? So," Choso gazes at you hopefully; his eyes are so intensely fixed to yours that you almost feel the need to look away. "We would see each other outside of class?”
“Yeah, let’s get coffee or something. Also, if one of us is already busy, we can just reschedule. Or, you know, we can just text each other whenever. No pressure.” you gave him a thumbs up. “Sound good to you?”
“That makes sense.” Choso types his number into your phone; the pads of his finger are thick and he’s trembling a little, so he has to redo it twice. “Um, can I sit with you? Like, right now, I mean.”
“Of course.” you nod and scoot over a little to make more room for him on the blanket. “By the way, that song I heard coming from your earbuds the other day, it sounded good; what was it called?”
Choso was wrong, assuming approaching you would be the thing to test his will power and courage the most. Now that Choso has your number (he put a little rabbit emoticon by your name, his cute chubby bunny) he has to rein himself in from messaging you every fifteen minutes and even then he knows he texts you too much. Even so, no matter how many messages Choso sends, you never seem annoyed. Weeks go by and Choso has gone from sending you brief inquiries about the class material and when the next day off is to regularly texting you good morning and goodnight, links to videos he thinks you’d find funny, songs that remind him of you, pictures of ramen from the new spot he and his brothers had gone out to eat at, even an occasional selfie that had been taken about a dozen times until Choso felt confident enough to send it.  And that wasn’t getting into the questions, unprompted and random, about your favorite color, food, time of day, your family, your birthday, your preferred sleeping position.
You can’t lie, the attention is flattering and you find your heart seize up whenever Choso is brave enough to approach you first, when he starts cracking jokes, bringing you coffee and snacks every class, and finally volunteering more and more info about himself without your prompting. You want him to share things about himself with you, to feel comfortable and at ease. It took a little time and careful coaxing, but it was well worth getting to know this fiercely strong yet oddly gentle man. Choso who seemed to operate on a completely seperate set of rules and morals than most people yet still tried so hard to please you, as if it were his life's mission to do so. You never felt so curious about someone or so determined to have them be a part of your life.
In a short amount of time, Choso has become your shadow, always scrambling to pack up his notes and pens to follow you when you leave the room, practically bounding at your heels when you say you’re going off campus for a meal or shopping. He insists on accompanying you, offering to foot the bill, carry your bags; if you so much as sniffle, Choso is urging a packet of tissues and a bottle of tea into your hands. He knows it’s a lot, but he can’t help himself and you’re so quick to return the favor, to pay for him, bring him little gifts, check up on him if he’s looking particularly tired (usually because he was up all night stalking your socials and planning your next “date”)
You say one nice thing to him and Choso wants to shower you in praise; he doesn’t care if it’s excessive. Sure, technically you’re not his girlfriend, but in Choso’s mind, you might as well be. Besides, he’s happy just making you happy. So when the day comes where you put it all out on the table and ask him to be honest about what his feelings are, Choso is surprised he even has to spell it out.
“What are we?” 
The movie has been paused and you put aside the bucket of popcorn Choso had just made fresh for you with extra butter topping along with the pack of your favorite candy as a surprise gift for movie night. You’re sitting on the edge of his bed, fiddling with the hem of the band t-shirt Choso had lent you when he accidentally spilled coffee over your pretty new blouse. You never did give it back and Choso had never asked for you to return it. This is the first time he’s ever seen you so hesitant. 
“Listen, Choso, I like being your friend, I really do. I’ve never gotten this close to anyone before. You’re very...special to me, but I haven’t been completely honest with you.” you admit quietly. “I really, really like you, as more than just a friend. I’m sorry if that makes things weird. I know when you care for someone, you go all out, so maybe I’ve been misunderstanding this whole thing. I just had to tell you. You deserve to know. You’re such a great guy, I hope you’ll consider still being my friend.”
“I love you. Be my girlfriend.” 
Choso’s tone is so blunt and matter of fact, you’re almost startled into silence. 
“Oh. You love me?” 
“Yes.” 
"Oh." you repeat, still a tad taken aback. "I guess I was worried over nothing. I figured you might have a crush on me, unless I was mistaken, but I...really didn't expect this. Choso, are you sure? When you say love, you don't mean like a friend; you mean, love in 'that' way, right?"
Choso nods, pretty much looming over you; his outward expression is stoic, but you recognize the way his hands clench at his sides and his posture stiffens as him trying to calm his own nerves.
“I do. I meant it exactly how it sounds. I always wanted more, but I didn’t,” he shifts from one foot to the next, unsure whether it would be okay to sit next to you. “You aren’t scared of me? It’s really not…too much?”
Choso’s blood runs cold as you abruptly stand; you’re leaving. It’s too much too soon. Your patience has run out. You think he’s an overbearing freak and you’re going to run away, block him, avoid him. His eyes widen as you stare at him resolutely and it takes every ounce of strength he has to not crumble at your feet and beg you not to leave, to just give him a chance to show you how happy he could make you, the lengths he's willing to go to have you love him.
"I, I'm sorry." Choso steps forward, as if to block your path. "Just hear me out, one more time, plea-"
“I think I love you too.” you say softly, reaching for him slowly and cup his face in your warm palms; Choso brings his large hands up to cover yours, like he's trying to get you to squish his face. “I want to be with you.”
“Are you serious?” Choso exhales shakily. “You really love me?” 
You nod and lean forward barely a centimeter. “You’re really just too cute; can I kiss you now? Am I moving too fast?"
The words are barely out of your mouth before Choso wraps you into an almost painfully tight bear hug, your face is squished into his chest, arms trapped to your sides as Choso mutters softly into your hair.
“Are you really mine?” Choso asks quietly, his deep voice cracking a little as he drops onto the bed, cradling you like he’s afraid you’ll change your mind any second now, caging you with his whole being. “I know I get carried away. I just want to keep you safe. If I could, I’d keep you by me all the time. Is that wrong?”
“I don’t mind.” you smile into his sweatshirt and inhale his scent deeply. “I know you’re not a bad person. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Never!” Choso looks scandalized and you can’t help giggling a little at his bulging eyes and gaped mouth. “I’ve never had a girlfriend before. I’ll try to do my best; if I ever hurt you, even by accident, you can hit me.”
“But I don’t wanna do that.” you tell him with a pouty frown. “Aways so extreme. How about we just talk and apologize or something?” you wriggle out of his strong iron band like arms enough to look him in the eyes properly. “Choso, you’re kinda squeezing too tight, can you…?”
Choso immediately loosens his hold, but he doesn’t give you any additional space. “Sorry.” he mumbles, nuzzling his nose into your hair. “Can we still stay like this for a while?” 
“Oh shoot, I was going to make a joke about you taking my breath away.” you grin impishly and return the hug with your newly freed arms. “So, about that kiss? Not that we have to! I guess we’re already moving pretty fast.”
“Not fast enough.”
"Huh?"
Choso’s eyes flicker to your mouth and his tongue darts out to lick his own bottom lip briefly. “Can we?”
“What?” you have to gather your thoughts as Choso sits back; your legs are on either side of his hips now as you find yourself propped up on his lap. He’s looking at you with a familiar intensity, but you can’t help feeling a little nervous; after all, it’s the first time you’ve been this close to each other, in this kind of position.
“Wanna kiss.” Choso’s words come out faintly slurred, despite not having a drop to drink all night. The movie that had been playing on his tv is still paused, the only source of light in the room. Choso had one hand on your lower back to steady you; the other was on your hip, his thumb rubbing circles underneath the hem of your shirt. “I’ll be gentle.”
“Okay. Thank you.” you offer him a smile before leaning in again, pressing your lips to his lightly, once, twice, three times, until Choso apparently decides chaste pecks aren’t enough. He groans into your mouth, the tip of his tongue wet and broad, tentatively licking as you part your lips wider. He’s getting loud now and suddenly his hands are gripping your thighs; you gasp, but it’s muffled by Choso’s mouth fully over yours as he rocks his hips. He’s grinding into you, hands rubbing your thighs and waist, traveling up your body to your chest. He loves how your plush tummy feels, how his fingers easily sink into your thighs. Choso has the sudden urge to bite into your chubby cheek.
“Choso,” you manage to break the heated kiss only for him to switch to nipping and sucking at your neck. “Wha-what are you-?”
“Can we keep going?” Choso pants, resting his head on your chest. “Please? Can I touch you more? Please?” he’s groping your breasts, staring at them almost in awe. “I want to see them. Can I…?” Suddenly, a look of dread overtakes his needy expression and he draws his hands away back to your waist. “Is it okay? If you don’t want to, I’ll stop. I just,” he breathes in and out shakily; you can feel him, pressing in between your legs. He’s hard, moving frantically, like he's not in control of his own body, rutting against your plump ass and pussy to feel some relief, frustrated he can't feel you completely with stupid clothes getting in the way. “Sorry. I want it so bad, I’ve never done anything before, so…but I can wait, I just get so worked up and you feel so soft, I'm s-sorry-”
“It’s alright, I’m just surprised: I've never seen you like this before.” you confess as you run a hand through Choso’s hair; it’s still a bit damp. He showered before you came over for movie night; you don't think he anticipated this, but then, Choso’s been surprising you all evening. “Are you ready? I'm okay Choso; you’re making me feel good. I didn’t think you would want to go farther than kissing, but if you're up for it,” with a teasing smile, you spread your legs and rub against him. “Do you want to fuck me tonight, Choso?”
Choso can’t speak for the moment, so he nods his head rapidly, cheeks flushing, brows furrowed as he rocks his hips in time with you, nearly bucking you right off his lap from the force of it. 
“Hold on.” you slowly lift your shirt over your breasts; you hadn’t bothered wearing a bra and from the way Choso lets out a ragged curse, you think he appreciates that. “You definitely want to keep going? Here, you can play with them; it’ll feel better if you get me all wet first. Go ahead, touch me all you want.”
“Does this feel good?” Choso’s thumb lightly rubs back and forth across one of your pert nipples; he’s practically salivating as you keen and whine, back arching, your hands gripping tight onto his broad shoulders. “Can I use my tongue?” he slowly moves forward to the other side, lips parting already, eager to know how your skin will taste.
“Oh god, yes!” your voice pitches higher as Choso gently circles the tip of his tongue around your nipple before suckling it; his hand gropes at your other breasts, pinching and rolling his thumb and forefinger carefully around, sending shocks of pleasure through your body. Choso's looking up at you through his eyelashes with a hooded adoring stare. You look like a dream come true, writhing on his lap, his shirt pushed up to your neck; he’s been dreaming of this, having your tits in his face, his hands, in his mouth, imagining how they’d feel, what your skin would feel like on his tongue.
After a few minutes, Choso releases your breast from his mouth. “More.” he demands in a low, hoarse voice. “Want more. Wanna see it…wanna see your pussy now.” you move up on your knees so Choso can slip your shorts down past your thighs. His fingers trace the cloth of your panties almost teasingly but really he just wants to savor every moment of this. Choso feels how wet you are through them and gulps. He's so close. He’ll get to feel you soon, feel how hot your insides are, how hot and wet your pussy will feel on his throbbing cock. Hurriedly, Choso yanks off his own sweatpants, barely taking a second before he has you on your back, head propped up on his pillow and recently washed comforter. He hoped it would be like this someday, that you would be here for him like this, naked, legs spread, his shirt still pushed up to show off your cute tits, your shining eyes basically begging for him to split you open on his cock. He’s happy you’re his first time; if Choso has his way, you’ll be his first and only. 
“I want to fuck you while you wear my shirt.” Choso strokes himself, from his base to his pink, leaking tip, settling between your thighs. “You’re mine now, right?” he asks, grunting as the thick head of his cock prods at your soaked pussy; he’s teasing your clit, loving the way you toss your head back, the way you’re actually dripping as he bottoms out. The feeling could knock the wind right out of him if Choso wasn’t so determined to have you just as overwhelmed and needy as he was feeling right now.
“Is this okay? Does it hurt?” Choso pistons his hips, holding your thighs open as he moves inside you; you manage to shake your head before letting out a shrill wail as Choso begins grinding into you as deep as he can. He’s rambling, greedily grabbing at you, holding you open, kissing and biting all over your exposed neck and breasts. “Fu-fuck, you feel so good! So soft and warm, I can’t get enough….wanna cum deep inside. Does it feel good? Am I making you feel good, am I making this pussy feel good?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” your nails drags over his shoulders and back as you struggle not to go limp from the force of his thrusts. “Choso, want to cum, touch me, please, I can’t take it anymore!” 
“You’re gonna take it. Gonna make you cum all over my cock.” Choso mutters; he’s slowly lapping at your hard, oversensitive nipples, salivating, completely lost in the way your pussy is clenching and the sweet pain of you scratching him, the burning red lines surely visible against his pale skin but he’s happy to let you mark him up. “Like this?’ he reaches down, still holding one of your legs up slightly while his free hand rubs his fingers over your clit. “Fuck yeah. I felt that, felt your pussy gush again. Go on, go on,” Choso grinds himself into you as he rubs your swollen clit, steady and quick. 
“CHOSO!” you scream as your body spasms; the sheets underneath you are damp and your body is hot and tense. The way he's stimulating every one of your most sensitive places is driving you crazy, you can barely think, just feel and listen to Choso’s low, raspy voice egging you on. “Oh god, please! I’m gonna-” 
“Yeah, cum on my dick. Cum all over me, you look so fucking hot right now, so cute...my chubby bunny.” Choso’s lips form an oddly soft grin as he watches you come apart; he feels it, feels you cumming around him, your pussy suddenly impossibly tight as you shake and sob. “Sh, sh, you’re okay.” his touch is slower, gentle on your clit, letting you ride out your orgasm. He thinks you’re so precious, twitching and whimpering as you come down from the high. “Shhh, relax. I’m going to move, okay? Can I?” 
Somehow you hear him through the haze and your rapidly beating heart and you nod. “Ye-yes, I want it. Keep fucking me.” you carress his cheek, smiling weakly. “Keep going, cum in me Choso. It's okay, I love you.” 
That’s when what little self control Choso had left snaps like a twig.
“Thank you." Choso wraps your trembling legs around his hips, anchoring you to him whole he shoves his cock as deep as he can inside you. Your mouth falls open but you can't even scream; somehow, it's like Choso’s gotten even harder. "Oh fuck thank you, I can’t believe it, can’t believe you’re letting me, thank you, thank you so much!” The headboard is knocking into the wall; all you can do is cling to Choso as he moans and babbles under his breath, rams his cock in and out of you like a man possessed. “Mine.” Choso has you wrapped in his arms again, pressing your limp ragdoll body to his. Your voice is too weak to let out more than little whispers of moans and frail, broken cries. “Fuck, you’re really mine.” Choso smiles down at you, cheeks flushed and eyes glistening with affection; he’s so close to cumming but he doesn’t want this to end. “Wanna keep you here with me all the ti-time, in my bed, gonna fuck you until you can’t go anywhere. Heh,” Choso kisses your temple with a satisfied, drunken smile as he strokes your fucked out face almost reverently. “You like that? Your pussy just got so tight. Let me, okay? Let me just take care of you from now on.” he picks up the pace again, molding you to him, kissing you as you go light headed; you may just pass out from this, but you don’t care, too busy getting swept up in Choso’s pleas and whines as he gets closer and closer to his own release, though he's the one at your mercy.
“Can I? Can I really cum in you?” he stutters, more begging than asking but either way he’s already losing himself in the sensation as his cock twitches and throbs with overstimulation. “Yes, yes, more, wanna stay like this, deep inside, gonna cum, gonna cum, shit, I’m gonna-!” Choso’s jaw clenches tight and he buries his face into your neck with a long, rough sob, rocking against you until he’s sure every last drop of his cum has been spilled deep inside your aching pussy. He has you in another deathgrip of an embrace but you melt into his arms, smiling dazedly as Choso brings your hand up and presses a loving kiss to your palm. 
“Sorry...I got carried away again, didn't I?” 
“You don’t look very sorry.” you pant, poking his tattoo lightly and let out a soft laugh. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sit up for a bit.”
The bridge of Choso’s nose crinkles and he does look a bit guilty now. “Sorry. I’ll take care of you. Hang on, I’ll get a towel.” 
“Mm, thank you.” you kiss his forehead. “You made me feel really good, I’m just super worn out. Could you bring me some water?” 
Choso nods and quickly stands up to fetch what you need; he’s still a bit dazed himself. When he comes back into the room, you’re still wearing his shirt with nothing else; he can see his cum slowly dripping down the inside of your thigh and has to stop himself from mounting you again. It’s obvious you’re tired and besides, there’ll be plenty of time for round two tomorrow morning when you’re waking up in his arms. “Hey,” Choso murmurs as you settle in under the covers with him. His finger lightly traces a particularly large love bite on the side of your neck. “Are you really mine?” “Choso, you really do worry too much.” Still, you can’t help but smile; he’s staring again, waiting raptly, looking absurdly innocent and almost childlike as he gazes at you beseechingly. “I’m all yours.” you kiss him tenderly once more before snuggling into his chest; Choso inhales sharply and has to fight back the tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He could die of happiness right now but then he wouldn’t get to have more kisses. 
“Come over for dinner tomorrow? I want to introduce you to my family.”
“I’d love to.” you sigh, content as Choso’s hand strokes up and down your back. “I can bake something.”
“Would it be too soon to say you’ll be their sister-in-law?”
“Hm, let’s hold off on that for a while.”
“Okay, I can wait.” Choso smiles, kissing your head gently. “Do you want to have kids?”
“Choso.”
“Sorry, right.” 
“It’s alright.” you murmur sleepily. “Talk later, sleep now.”
“Okay….can we do it again when you wake up?”
“Yes.”
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soobibabe · 7 months ago
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their reaction to making you squirt for the first time :3333333 - 🪼
omg omg omg i think about this a lot but never actually thought about how to articulate it >~<_.>^_^|>;3/“&’’’
yeonjun
he would be sooooooo cocky about it LOL.
he’s just so proud he did that to you, he made you do that. if you’re embarrassed about it and try to hide or cover your face he’ll hold your wrists to pull your hands away from your face followed by showering you in praise and compliments.
“look at me baby,” “you look so pretty like this” “good girl, you did so well” etc. he would absolutely ADORE you (and would probably have his lips attached to you once more to make you waterfall all over him again)
dare i add him saying something along the lines of “do that again on my face, fuck”
he makes sure to brag about it to his best friends :0
soobin
oh my god that man is a munch (do not ask me my sources)
idk man, he’s a slut for your pleasure. nothing turns him on more that getting you off.
seeing you lose yourself from his touch drives him insane. he’d do anything to watch you do it over and over and over again.
the first time you did it was when he was eating you out, fingers all the way inside of you, he practically worshipped you afterwards.
did i mention he’s vocal all while it happens? moaning into your cunt when your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, finding something to hold onto when your body’s squirming, overstimulated from him not stopping.
“ah fuck y/n, you’re gonna make me cum before i’m inside you”
beomgyu
he would be in awe. he would love it so much that he completely forgets about making himself finish that he puts all his effort and focus into making you do it again.
once it started, it never stops. he wouldn’t be satisfied unless he made you squirt. every. single. time. the two of you fuck, he seeks it out.
“just one more, you can take it my love” he’ll practically beg you to let him please you. to break you.
taehyun
absolutely obsessed with making you squirt. honestly, it makes his possessive side display more.
“look at the mess you made” “nobody else can make you feel this good” “who did this to you”
if you’re okay with it, he’d film it the next time to have something to use later on <3 once he does get to use the recording, he cums the fastest he ever has masturbating.
he swears nothing else has ever turned him on as much as watching you tip over the edge like that.
kai
HE LOVEEEES EVERY SECOND OF IT.
the first time you do it, it was so unexpected since you hadn’t always been a squirter. you both giggle at the sight, moaning in unison.
bonus points if you squirt all over his cock >.< it drives him insane, he literally cums at the sight of it.
i meant it when i said it drives him insane btw. after cumming, he’ll go another round (or two) (or three) overstimulating you both cause it got him that worked up.
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astroninaaa · 10 months ago
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wtf is going on with cellbit - by a brazilian law major student
hey besties ever since the day cellbit released that PDF i’ve been keeping up with his shit bc as a law student (only two years to go!!!!) in brazil it’s kinda really interesting to see how it goes, specially since i don’t think we’ve ever had this sort of judicial action taken by an internet celebrity, like, ever. so i’ve decided to kinda explain what’s going on. if anyone has any questions after this i’d be really up to talk about it i love talking about law 🫶 xoxo let’s start. also sorry if anything reads weird english is not my native language okay
for those who don’t know, very recently, a judicial action taken by cellbit has made public. in this action, he’s suing over 200 people for the crime of defamation.
the action was taken to court in january, but it was under what we call “secret of justice”, which means only cellbit himself and twitter’s lawyers had access to it. now that there have been decisions by the judge and everything, the process’s been made public.
basically, cellbit started an action against twitter (NOT THE PEOPLE WHO COMMITTED THE CRIME YET), citing a little over 200 tweets that accused him of crimes like SA, psychological abuse, pedophilia, and others. all of those are real crimes in brazil — and accusing someone of committing crimes (specially as awful crimes as those) without proof is a crime in itself (defamation). he claimed that the tweets were harmful to his honor, mental health, and reputation, besides categorizing as defamation, since there’s no investigation going on against him for all these infractions he’s being accused of.
with that, he asked twitter to delete all the tweets, and to provide him with the personal information of said twitter accounts so he can sue them directly for defamation. he did these requests through something called “tutela cautelar”, which means the judge gets to decide whether or not twitter has to do these things before proof production and proper investigation, since, if twitter doesn’t do those things, the damage to his honor and reputation will be ongoing + he won’t be able to sue the proper people in time.
the judge conceded to his requests, and twitter has already deleted all the tweets. the main discussion going right now is wtf do they do about the international accounts — does our law apply to them? what’s gonna happen? we don’t know yet. that’s being discussed in court for the moment and, considering brazilian courts, it might take quite a while.
so, yeah, all those people aren’t being sued YET. but they will, probably somewhat soon.
it’s also important to mention that this lawsuit is from january and was only now released to the public. there’s probably a lot more coming after the whole fiasco that led him to releasing his statement, including a lawsuit against his ex herself.
now, other topics — could he sue other twitter accounts for cyber bullying or death threats? probably, but my personal opinion is that suing for defamation and focusing on accounts that were accusing him of having committed crimes was a much better move because it’s a much stronger case.
there’s very little room for discussion when a person has outright said “cellbit committed this crime”. death threats have more room for discussion: “oh, but they’re hundreds of miles away, it wasn’t a serious threat”, “they didn’t mean it”, “it was a joke”. same thing goes for cyberbullying: it can get too subjective.
defamation isn’t subjective. you accuse someone of a crime they didn’t commit? boom, defamation, at least according to our laws. so, to me, personally, it makes a LOT of sense for his lawyers to focus on that: he’s a LOT more likely to win than if he was suing for cyberbullying, threatening, insult, or any of that. also, he’s a lot more likely to win FASTER.
when he gets to sue the actual people who committed the crime, that is. for now, he’s only requested twitter to give him the necessary information to get to these people, which i think they’ll very likely be obligated to do. there are digital data protection laws in brazil, but a crime is a crime. digital data protection isn’t gonna protect you from the court.
another thing: LGPD (brazil’s general law of personal data protection) forces all social media companies to keep records of all the content posted by their users for AT LEAST six months. many companies keep it for way longer. that’s a law created for judicial purposes, in case something published to twitter, facebook, or instagram needs to be analysed by a court. that’s why even tho twitter has deleted the tweets, they still have them, and why it doesn’t matter if the people responsible are deleting the tweets, the accounts, the fucking app itself. the records are still there, and they will be used judicially.
i think that’s the overall for the situation, but i’m willing to answer any questions and to discuss it if anyone wants to! i’m a big law enjoyer. also personally i think cellbit is so fucking right for this like YEAH people don’t get to commit fucking crimes on twitter and get away with it. really interested in how this is gonna go law-wise, but in general also really glad to see someone take action like this.
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carmenized-onions · 3 months ago
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Loosen Your Grip. | R & D
logline; even when it seems counter-intuitive.
[!!!] series history; so many parts, so many words.
Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. 8 hour mark officially! Lets go!
portion; 15k knowing the next chapters, this trend isn't going to change. they have started to line up with the chapter number, to my chagrin.
possible allergies; i think this one is relatively harmless? Stress though. Everyone's stressed. Idk what to tell you man, it's the bear. oh but more things were yoinked from Season 3!! Think that's just gonna be ongoing tbh. also if this is bad don't tell me. tell me it's really good, actually. i've never doubted a chapter more than I do this one.
pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader it's so fem. it's so she/her'd it's so girl'd i'm so sorry
kofi; if you’ve enjoyed the series, perhaps you wanna tip!
i'm so sorry for the delays beloveds, can you say 'most high stress but high reward month and a half of my life'? i can!!!
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The Monday morning after New York— The first morning waking up in your own bed in a day or two— Comes rudely. Well, not immediately. First you have to roll over and grab aimlessly at your nightstand, searching for your phone to turn off your alarm. Through blurred vision you slide it to snooze, and as you debate going back to bed, your eyes glaze over some texts you’ve received in your sleep, from numbers you never bothered to put in your contacts. It takes a minute to absorb the information and register it as real, but once you do—
“...Are you fucking kidding me?!” 
—You’re definitely not gonna be heading back to bed anymore. You’re wide-eyed and wired— You can probably skip coffee this morning. Maybe every morning forever.
“Oh— I fucking hate this fucking city, I fucking hate Chicago— Fuck this!” 
In lieu of coming to terms with your world shattering news, perhaps this is an important moment to express gratitude, for the things that have gone well in the past few days. 
The rest of the weekend in New York was as lovely as a last-minute trip in a cramped car full of kitchen equipment and four neurotics can be.
Gratitude. Highlight reel?
There’s a bag M and Ms monogrammed with Syd’s, Richie’s, Carmy’s, and your faces in your pantry now. Eva shouldn’t be the only one allowed to have fun. Though snacking on all your cute little faces does make you feel like a slight monster.
Managed to get a good gift for Richie. Thank you Tiffanys. It was certainly an interesting moment when everyone tried to come up with lame excuses as to why they had to split up from the group to definitely totally not go get Christmas presents.
 Carmen’s knife guy wasn’t able to do engravings on such short notice, and you’re not the type to settle for less, especially not with Syd, so that’ll be a next year gift, it seems. You came up with a serviceable back-up while strolling through the MET— Which was a mostly fun field trip, it was very inspiring. You all could've done without Richie's pretentious prattling about postmodern absurdist dadaism. Mostly because you're pretty sure half of it was wrong; but still a good trip, all told.
Still lost on what to get Carmen… You’ve got a week, it’s fine. You’ve done more with less before. How do you subtly ask a guy, ‘hey, what the hell else do you like besides your job?’ You’ll figure it out. Figure it out like you figure out everything else, like you always do. Hopefully.
It's Monday. You've got a week. It's fine. Stop looking at your phone. This is such bad timing. This is awful fucking timing. You’ll figure it out. Stop looking at your phone, stop looking at the texts. Do the Connections, send it to Carmy, he already sent his, be normal… Just such bad timing—
At the very least if you can't bear to look away from the life ruining texts, just shut your phone off. You’ve got to stop ruminating or you’ll rot in bed forever. And you really have to get out on time, today. 
“God wants me to kill myself—” Gratitude. Express gratitude.
The drive back went ‘well’. Everyone had their licenses so the squad took shifts either driving or sitting on the uncomfortable console. Or, in your case specifically, sitting half on Carmen’s lap in shotgun on occasion despite the many complaints from Syd and Richie. You had a good excuse! Neither of you slept for the entire trip just to work on the cocktail and coffee menu. It was practically a sacrifice! It was just easier to sit up front together, okay!? You had to be close, you were scribbling ratios and drawings of glasses into a stolen notepad from the Holiday Inn with pencil crayons bought from FAO Schwarz—
Oh, hey, put that on the gratitude scoreboard, that was another thing that went well. Pretty cool to go to the oldest toy store in America. Might not have gotten the chef in your life anything yet, but the kids in your life are covered— You’re winning best Aunt for sure.
Oh, huge highlight— Didn’t say love you, like some idiot. Got away with that by the skin of your teeth, honestly. Hard to stare up at the Rockefeller Christmas Tree next to the guy and not blurt out something fucking stupid. Thank God for Syd, who stomped on your foot when you seemed a little too doe eyed.
With great pain and bemoaning, you finish expressing gratitude, which hasn’t helped much. You slam your phone screen down on your nightstand and roll out of bed. 
Today’s Monday. Today’s your first day at The Bear. Today that is the priority and there is nothing else to worry about.
You signed your contract last night. Talked to Syd for hours about it, planning next steps and goals and classes and budgets and a million other things. You’re both a little easily excitable, when it comes to lists and plans. Watching you sign yours gave her the ‘confidence’ to sign hers, if you can call it that. Not like you knew she needed the help, though.
“I love my life, I love my life, I love my life…” If you keep saying it while washing your face in the bathroom, it’ll become true, right? …Where’s Sara’s card again?
The Bear doesn’t run service on Mondays, so it’s a good day to do onboarding— Good day to do R and D. …What does one wear to R and D? Don’t need the serving uniform. Don’t need to dress up. Don’t need the jumpsuit… This is the first time you don’t need a uniform and that is bizarre.
You’ll wear your dad’s flannel, at least. Feels illegal to not wear the patch worked flannel. But besides that, you’re just a normal… restaurateur… part of the team…
Your hand hovers over where your necklace sits, in the small jewellery box on your vanity. “Mikey, if you want me to keep wearing it, make my ceiling cave in or some shit.”
You give it ten seconds and nothing falls. With a curt nod to no one, you pick up your book bag filled with loose tools and the menu filled notepad. Leave your bedroom, put your shoes on, grab your keys out of your clay dish tray on the way out.
It’s snowing.
That’s a lot of stuff falling, so to speak.
That’s basically a sign. That’s basically what you asked for.
You head back in, grab the necklace, hook it over your neck, and tuck it under your shirt. Baby steps. You head back out.
…And then soon after, head back in— Forgetting one of the most important things you need today. “The fucking glass, goddamn it!”
There’s a chance that today might be a little bit of an off day for you. No one’s gonna notice that, though.
“Mikey, why didn’t you tell me? You want me to look stupid on my start day, don't you? Fucker.”
You’re good. You’re you. You figure shit out. You’re compartmentalising perfectly and no one’s gonna be able to tell that you’re internally scrambling to figure out where you're gonna live once your lease gets terminated.
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“ ‘Sup with you?” Okay, so Tina did immediately notice upon opening the back door for you. She tries to help you with the huge sheet of plexiglass you’re carrying, but you wave her off, stumbling further inside The Bear. Thankfully it’s a slow start to the morning, so the walk way is clear for your fumbled steps.
“I got it, T, just spot me—”
“Woahwoahwoah—” But alas, immediately Carmen is rushing over, making a big deal over nothing, “Fuck are you doin?” And grabs the thick sheet of glass from you. “Wait by your car next time, why do I gotta keep tellin’ you?”
“I am very capable—” You grunt, but you’re relieved when he takes the weight off you. You nod to the table in front of expo. “Put it on the island.”
“What’s it for?” Carmy asks but he follows direction without hesitation.
“Syd’s idea.” You walk with him, sidling up to Syd who’s already stationed up on the island with what looks like way too much paperwork for Chefs. You bump her shoulder as a greeting, she bumps you back. She lifts up the stack of papers and you pick up her deli container of Coke and ice, letting Carmen slide the glass onto the table.
“Unless it’s bad—” You correct, putting the cup down and digging through the tool bag on your shoulder for the right parts. “If you hate it, then it’s my idea.”
Syd snorts next to you, putting the papers back down on top of the glass. “Nice save.”
“What’s your idea, Chef?” Carmen taps his fingers against the glass, bemused.
You finally fish out two lock hinges from your bag, gesturing to them with a little flair like you’re Vanna White as Sydney explains. “For R and D. Thought since we’re like— Constantly changing shit and needing to review, it’d be like, useful to have a whiteboard— But those are huge and inconvenient for a restaurant— Duh— So—”
“Glass!” You come in with the assist as she rambles on. “On hinges— These one’s lock so you can have the glass sort of tilted up like an easel, or on the station— And then when you start service you can just flip it down off the counter for the night. Easy!”
“And—And—” Like a TV ad, Syd points out, “We can put paper under it and still be able to see— So it’ll make editing clearer— I-I think.”
Carmen always takes a nerve-wracking amount of time to think through other’s ideas, but once he nods, you both breathe easy. “Smart idea. Thank you, Chefs.”
You just smile, and this seems to bother Carm. Or at the very least, something is bothering him, as he frowns. “You got a second?”
Your brows furrow, for a moment, worried. You nod, putting your tools down. Glass can wait. “Always.”
Carmen comes around the counter, before he pulls you aside, Syd whispers over your shoulder, “Trouble in paradise.” Making you snort. When has it ever been paradise?
The two of you lean across from each other in the doorway of Carmen’s office, not quite in, not quite out. He looks worried, and his worrying is making you worry. He’s first to say something, concerned hand on your shoulder.
“Are you good?”
Fuck, he caught you too? “Hmm? Yeah, I’m good, do I not—”
You’re halfway through your response when he interrupts, he seems even more panicked by your words. His hand abandons your shoulder. “Right— Stupid, stupid fucking question— I just— Sorry—”
“Woah—” You grip both his shoulders, rubbing down his sleeves lightly. “Are you good, Carmy? You’re right, sweets. You caught me. I’m a lil’ off today. What gave me away?”
“Right, yes— You’re nice.” He’s saying it more to himself than you, like he needs to remind himself. Even so, it still hitches your heartbeat. “I— I’m good, I was just—You didn’t text me back this morning.”
“Oh.” You say it so breathlessly, with relief. It’s cute that that’s what’s got him freaking. “Sorry, yeah, I’ve been trying to not look at my phone, I just got some…” You shake your hand in the air for effect. “Bleh news. Put a wrench in some things for me, that’s all.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Ah—” You shake your head, waving it off, “Too much to get into. Later, though?”
“Yeah, yeah. Whenever you want.” He nods. “Ah, I wanna get into uhm—” Carmen snaps his fingers a few times, finding the words. “Get into drinks, today. I made all the concentrates and syrups ahead of time—But Uncles gonna come in first with The Computer to go over some numbers shit— Should be here in thirty?”
You nod, squinting. “Is it like… A special computer or something?”
“Computer is a guy.” Carmen says, while Syd yells the same in tandem with him, “Why wouldn’t he be!?” Walking past you both as she carries produce out of the walk-in.
“Why wouldn’t he be?” You grin, reiterating. Your smile soon sobers though, as you finally notice a giant silver blob of machinery behind Carmen. “Baby, what the fuck is that?” 
You’re already walking past him, quickly winding up all over again. It’s a gorgeous espresso machine— “It’s an Ascaso.” Explains Carmen. “It’s the best.” And it’s sitting exactly where your beautiful beat up mistake of a heavily-stained coffee machine used to be. 
“Baby, baby, baby—” you’re looking above and below the station for your rusted companion, hushed and panicked. “Don’t tell me you threw away the old one—” 
“You want the old one?”
Richie’s timing is perfect, as he walks in from front of house, and even from just hearing the last sentence, “Fuckin’ told you, Carm.” He knows the context. He keeps walking— On a mission, seemingly.
“I’m grateful— I- I am.” You kneel down and shove some mixing bowls aside to see if it was tucked in the back of some shelf— It’s not here. She’s not here. “New is good— New is nice— I’ll learn how to use the new one— I will— But— I— I need the old one— You didn’t throw it away, did you?” 
When he stays silent, you turn and look up to Carmen from where you’re crouched on the ground, pleading. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I— I—” The Chef is nearly sweating from this line of questioning alone. “It— It barely worked—”
“I know it didn’t! That’s the point!”
He blinks. You just seem to be saying all his trigger phrases, today, huh? “That’s the point?”
“I knew how she worked.” You push yourself back up onto your feet. “It’s got an espresso function that doesn’t work, if you tamp the basket the basket literally breaks off so you have to hold it and burn your hand a little— You have to hold the hot water button at the same time as the grind button for some reason or it won’t dispense— It’s literally a fucking nightmare— I covered it in like ten sticky notes of instructions at one point and they became pointless because no one but me was willing to use it. And— And I’ve got it memorized.”
“...And you want that?”
“No one’s gonna know how to take care of her, she’s my baby!” You gesture, albeit a bit too dramatically, speaking with your hands. “If you throw her away or donate her, no one’s gonna take the time to figure it out— They’re just gonna think she’s broken but she’s not, she works! She just needs the right hand!”
A dull silence falls between you, as Carmen purses his lips, squinting. There’s an ever slight chance your ‘I’m totally fine’ facade is cracking. “...Are you sure you don’t want to talk about your thing right—” 
“I’m good!” “...Okay.” “Did you get rid of her?”
“Relax, Handy!” Carmen does not say this. 
You grimace, looking behind Carmen to see Chi-Chi yelling from around the bend, in The Beef’s corner territory. Looking over him with the blue apron calling you your least favourite nickname by far— Well, second least favourite, only to— “She’s over here, Jack-Off. More our speed than rich boy’s ack - queso bullshit…” It’s nostalgic. Bad nostalgic but nostalgic. 
He slaps the top of the machine, you and Carmen both wince as a random spigot falls off it. Chi-Chi clicks his tongue, staring at it in silence. “...Refresher would be good, though.”
You’re already walking back to your damaged darling, patting Carmen on the shoulder as a form of goodbye, he pats your hand back. You don’t get to see him smile, as he watches you get to work. “Don’t fuckin’ call me Jack-Off and don’t touch her, I’ll show you, I’ll break your hand Cheech, I swear—”
The man in question shrugs, a devilish and terrible smirk on his stupid face. “Ey, love a woman in charge. Show me the ways.” 
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Even on your most off days, working with The Beef will always be second nature for you. Even when the space is significantly more cramped than it used to be. 
You rewrite directions on how to use the coffee machine while showing them to Ebra and Chi-Chi. Ebra tends not to learn new tricks, so he stops listening by the time you get to syrups. That’s fine. No one ordered syrups in their coffee at The Beef back in the day all that often either.
Mikey really shouldn’t have invested in all those syrups back then. He really only did it for you and the staff. To be fair, when he did convince regulars to try your coffee they always changed their tune. The people don’t know what they like yet. They will like this. You were his proof that that idea was true.
“You gotta toss these, Boss. Slows you down.” You overhear Cheech saying behind you. You turn to see his arm on Ebra’s shoulder, holding the small blue baskets for sandwiches in his other hand. “Just the wrapping is fine. These people are gonna throw this shit out anyways, waste of plastic.”
Cheech turns his head to you, “Right, Handy?”
“...Don’t call me Handy.” Don’t freak out about throwing the old stuff away. Don’t freak out about throwing his old stuff away. You shrug, looking at Ebra over your shoulder. “Maybe just offer them, if they ask for one?”
“Y’know what the people are asking for, babe?” Cheech sucks his teeth, pulling Ebra closer, who looks nonplussed. “They’re asking where the nearest brick is to throw through our window. This rich people shit is getting on their nerves.”
You sigh, eyes flitting to Ebra for confirmation. “Yeah?”
He shrugs, nodding. “Ninety-eight percent, Jack-Off.” Cheech and the gang have been a terrible influence. How are you going to undo this?
“C’mon, E…” You scoff, but nod as you turn around, arms crossed. Gesturing with the frother as you do. “Well, I’ll make note of that. Now back to the fuckin’ hand frother, Cheech?”
“I know how to crank it, Handy—” “I swear to fucking God—”
“Ey!” Tina comes up to your corner, smacking the back of Chi-Chi’s head with a hand towel when she does. “Don’t talk to the baby like that, clean your mouth.”
He puts one hand on the back of his head, hissing, and another up in front of him, in defense. “Ey, T, it’s all love, aright? Playing!”
“Yeah well, you’re not gonna wanna play wit’ this one. ‘Specially not now—” She nudges you, smiling that coy ‘I’m about to blow up your spot’ smile.
You grimace, attempting to interrupt her. “T, don’t—” “That she’s Jeff’s.” “—Goddamnit.”
“Oh! Oh shit!” Cheech laughs, delightfully shocked. “You finally closed on Charmin’? Congrats—” It’s a blessing and a curse that Carmen, the guy you only ever saw in photos and heard in stories that you had a very minor and not vocal crush on, is now your… boyfriend? Undetermined.
You wave a hand in his face, “Shut the fuck up—”
“So where should I send flowers?”
You hate this family. “For the record, I have not closed shit.”
“What’s closing?” Tina takes a half step back, surveying your face, it doesn’t reveal anything. “What’s that? Gramps?” She turns her question on Ebra, who shrugs, equally as old and unknowing. 
“Well Jack-Off’s a little Mother Mary for my taste—”
You scoff, “So not true, for the record—” but Chi-Chi continues his tirade. “So I suspect she just means they haven't had the ‘are we datey-wating carmy baby?’ talk.”
You all but growl, crossing your arms as you wait for the second tutorial coffee to finish dispensing from the beloved whirring machine behind you. You can get the fuck out of here as soon as it’s done, and you’re praying that’s soon, because this interrogation is about to turn terrible. “We are currently unlabelled, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”
Tina kisses her teeth, poking at your shoulder. “Richie told me you spent the whole wedding together and you come back with no label?”
You sigh, composure falling apart. You are not ready for a mother’s disappointment. “We talked out a lot of important stuff—” “Mija, that is important stuff!”
“I just— We’ll talk eventually—” 
Chi-Chi conveniently interrupts you when it looks like Tina’s about to go off into a full rant on the downfall of romance in modern relationships. “So you’re still on the market, Handy?”
“For you?” You smile, then drop it. Pushing your hand against his forehead. “Never. Now froth the fucking milk.”
He mumbles an endless series of expletives, but gets to work. You give him a quick tutorial on the hand frother— You fought hard for the old machine, but you are overjoyed to see an automated steamer and frother on that Ascaso. That part is gonna be a dream. You can make so many new drinks for Carm— The menu. 
When you finish, you take the latte from Cheech to hand to Tina; and when you do, you catch her looking… off. She’s staring at the piled up diner baskets, next to the unused napkin dispensers. 
You put your hand on her shoulder, massaging it lightly. “You good, T?”
Your hand shocks her back into reality, “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, baby.” It takes her a second to remember where she is. She takes the latte, nodding. “I’m good. You good?”
“I’ve got my complaints.” You shrug. “But nothing I won’t survive.” Probably.
Tina takes a sip of her coffee, continuing to nod. She wants to dig deeper into your thing, you want to dig deeper into hers, but the painful groaning from the front of the kitchen, “And when did I fuckin’ greenlight this?” interrupts both your trains of thought. Uncle Jimmy tends to have that effect.
With a knowing nod, you walk together to the front, leaving Ebra and Cheech to continue experimenting with the coffee machine before they open their side of the restaurant. 
You watch from the sidelines as Carmen defends his choices, “The old one was shit, she was burning her hands on it. She’ll need the three groups to keep up.” and you’re able to quickly glean they’re talking about the new espresso machine.
“Okay, I hear that,” Jimmy nods, “but why the fuck did it need to be ten grand?”
“Ten?!” You can’t help but shout, you slap your hand over your mouth. Budget is none of your business. But fucking ten? You part your fingers to mumble through your hand,  “Sorry, continue.”
Carmen cares too much about your drink menu. Berzattos tend to invest too much into your special interests. Though this time, instead of syrups, and in addition to a 10k coffee machine, you see on the stainless steel table your shared sketches laid out alongside all the ingredients needed– Including the concentrates, whips, and other compounds Carmen made ahead of time for you. He’s so sweet. God, you love him. God, that’s disgusting. They have all, of course, been haphazardly shoved aside though, to make room for The Computer’s— Computer. Carmy’s nonplussed by that fact, it seems.
Jimmy gestures to you, deadpanning to Carm. “See, Chip understands the power of the dollar.”
“I’m not involved.” You add, waving your hand, it’s a terrible moment for your favouritism to shine through. Though you do enter the radius of this trainwreck of a quarterly review, kneeling down by the kitchen island to finish what you started with the plexiglass and hinges. “Ignore me, continue.”
The men stand on either side of you, as you bolt down the hinges. Carmen brushes off the dollar comment with a simple, “It’s the best.”
Why do you need the best? You think; Jimmy concurs with your brain, speaking for both of you. “Why do you need the best?”
The question seems to make no sense to Carmen. He freezes, blue-screening. “Cause—”
You duck your head under the counter at just the right moment— Or just the wrong moment? Because you don’t get to see Carmen looking down at you, then back up at his uncle. “Because.” 
You don’t see Uncle Jimmy practically roll not just his eyes but his entire body back into himself, witnessing the puppy love that is going to ruin his credit score. “Chip…”
When you slide yourself out from under the counter, Carmen puts his hand on the edge of the counter to make sure you don’t hit your head— Because you have an awful tendency to do so. You’re too focused on the way Uncle Jimmy says your name like you’re in trouble to notice though. “What’d I do?” 
“You’re you.” Jimmy grimaces, shaking his head. It’s not your fault. Not completely. “F-Y-I– Your boss just cut your bar budget by ten grand.”
“Hm.” You squint, lips in a line. “And what do I do if the budget I was planning was just ten grand?”
“Well respect yourself more than that.” Cicero scoffs, arms crossed. “Take twenty, now you’re back to ten. You’re welcome.”
“Generosity knows no bounds.” You shake your head, laughing him off as you duck your head back under the counter. “Thank you, Unc.”
“Sorry, who exactly are we giving twenty thousand?” 
“Oh fuck—” Despite Carmen’s best efforts, you still manage to bump your head on the roof of the counter, alarmed by the new voice— The Computer, you assume. “Fuckin—Ow— Sorry! Y’know what, hol’ on, let me just finish up here—”
“It’s the drink budget. Tony’s the new mixologist.” Natalie answers for you. “And sommelier.”
“Ah,” hums The Computer. “She’s the one we’re paying Quarter-Master for?”
“Nah, that’s me.” Gary strolls by, calling out to wherever his manager has gone, “Richie, you find that book yet?!”
“I’m taking them too!” You finally pop your head out from underneath the counter, finished bolting in the hinges. “Apparently I need actual W-S-E-T certification and a bunch of memorized google searches, youtube videos, and wine review blogs do not legally make you a sommelier.”
“I think it’s impressive you made it this far on basically nothing.” Syd taps the top of your head, she’s the one who made the call on schooling. She looks to her co-owner. “Classes are coming out of the advanced.”
“So is this.” You tap the plexiglass, nodding up to Carmen as well. “You’re workin’ with like… A thousand left for pre-paid work?”
“Hm.” Carmen nods, looking at The Computer, and you turn your head to him too. “Did you account for that?”
“Did I account for a thousand dollars?”
Carmen shakes his head like a white flag immediately, hearing the sarcastic tone, “Alright, you don’t—”
“A thousand dollars does not take you out of the hole, man.” He’s right, but you don’t love the tone. He tilts his head, reading something off his screen. “Payroll is a little high, for a somme.”
“I don’t disagree—” You try to say, because yeah, your contract does have a weirdly high salary.
But Jimmy, Nat, and Carm all speak over you. “It’s not.”
“That’s not pay for a somme, that’s a pay for Chip, you don’t need to enhance on that.” Jimmy deads the topic then and there. “You’ll see. Just trust me. You were sayin’ somethin about tiny plants?”
“Microgreens.” Says Syd. 
“Yes. Do less of that.”
And you just watch, from the sidelines, as this crew flows into a bit of a repetitive we’re doing this, which gains the response, well stop. Do less, charge more, figure it out, duh, don’t duh– What’s that you’re hearing about a daily changing menu? Carmen seems to be the only one campaigning for it. At a point he just starts pacing, pointing at numbers on The Computer’s screen that he doesn’t understand but pretends he does.
You’ve got a million ideas, but it’s none of your business. It very literally isn’t your business, until Jimmy turns his head just so, grimacing at the non stop debate, to see you standing aside, arms crossed.
He sighs, beckoning you to the table, like it’s a witness stand. “What’s that fuckin’ face on your face, kid?” Oh, for the love of God, why are you so easy to read?
You pfft, shrugging. “I’m not makin’ a face—!” But you come forward nonetheless as he boldly speaks over you. 
“You’re makin’ a face,” — “This is just what I look like,” — “Y’know how I know you’re makin’ a face?” — “Enlighten me.” — “Cause it’s the same fuckin’ face—”
He takes this moment to point at the face on your face. “That your dad makes.” A man that gambles as well as Cicero is a man that knows your dad’s tells. And a man that knows your dad’s tells is a man that knows your tells. 
You bite down on your inner cheek, poorly pretending to be confused, shrugging again, ��I dunno what you’re talking about.”
“Come off it.” “I’m not on anything, Unc—” “You’ve got a problem, say it.” 
“I don’t have a problem!” You have a lot of problems, but they can’t know that. That makes you judgy and pushy— You don’t know enough about the business to have an opinion. “I’m just observing, that’s all.”
Uncle looks up, to Heaven, to Mikey, and sighs the world’s heaviest sigh. It sounds painful. When he finally tilts his head back down to you, it’s to say, “C-K.”
“Cicero.”
“Y’know why I’m able to pour mas queso into this fuckin’ kid?” He loosely gestures in the direction of Carmen, who in response seems to bite down a lot of venom. It’s bad to think he’s pretty when he’s annoyed, isn’t it?
You tilt your head, “Honestly, I always assumed some sort of mob association.”
Jimmy holds back his laughter, it comes out as a disgruntled cough. He shrugs. “It’s because when I saw your dad at the table, makin’” —He gestures to you— “That fuckin’ face, I knew to pull back.”
“You don’t need to pull back.” Your reply is a touch too panicked and instant for anyone’s liking, makes it a little less believable. But Cicero smirks, and you know that face as well as he knows yours. Check. He’s got you. 
“Then speak on it.” And he pushes you forward, just slightly, like a slap of support on your back. You grimace, looking to Carm and Syd for permission to have opinions, and they both nod, like it’s obvious. With great hesitation, lips pressed together, you finally allow yourself to come off as judgy, opinionated, a fixer. 
“I think the chargers are kinda stupid.”
A plate no one eats off of, that they still have to clean, that’s on top of another plate? Definitely super necessary. Definitely not some rich people NOMA bullshit.
You look to Syd, apologetic. She shrugs, open mouthed, head tilted, “I– I mean, I didn’t invent them.” 
“It’s presentation.” Carmen nods, to himself. He doesn’t like to budge. “That first look at the table affects everything.”
“Yes.” You nod, directly across the counter from him. “I agree, I just think the plates are stupid.” 
“You got somethin’ better?”
“Think so.” You hum, tilting your body back to yell to the back of the restaurant. “Ay, Cheech! Pass me a fuckin’ basket!” 
It’s without hesitation that you hear, “Hut!” before even seeing the man. You see the blue basket being hurled towards you before you see the man. You catch it, albeit a bit clumsy, but you catch it. 
You toss the basket on the table. Everyone stares. You defend yourself before anyone even criticizes it, “Easier to clean than plates, because you just need to rinse the plastic. Ties together a colour scheme, costs nothing, they’re gonna be tossed anyways.”
“It looks cheap.” Carmen tuts, but he really does seem to be trying to hear out the idea, despite his reservations. 
“It looks purposeful.” You double down, leaning on the counter just so, “It carries a story, that we didn’t forget where we started.”
“Ooh.” Marcus, clocking in just in time, hums behind you. “Kind of a bar, Chef.”
“Thank you, Chef. Morning, Chef.” You fist bump him over your shoulder, not looking. Too focused on convincing the man before you, you let him think in silence for some time before asking. “Think on it?”
“No.” Carmen shakes his head, and you’re a little crestfallen, for a second. “It’s good. Let’s do the baskets, yeah—” He then remembers to ask for permission, he turns his head to Syd, “Yeah?”
“Yeah? Oh, uh. Yeah. Yeah. Baskets are good.” Syd nods to Nat. “Can you look into, uh—”
“Returning the expensive as fuck earthenware shit? Happily.” Nat is far too cheery upon receiving a paperwork rabbit hole of a mission. She brushes past you, excitedly whispering, “Please keep going.”
“Oh, uh—” Are you some sort of thought leader now? “Well, uhm, I think I heard you sayin’” —You snap your fingers at The Computer, “That R and D cost is a little high?”
“A lot high.” He corrects.
“Kid with crayons.” Jimmy tuts, “Need to pull back a little.”
Carmen’s screwing and unscrewing the cap of a mason jar— Marmalade, it’s for Syd’s drink. He made it this morning, it’s labelled down to the minute.  Just let him work on his fucking drinks menu, please God. He’s been dying for this moment and it’s being thrown off by this bullshit. 
He can’t keep biting his tongue, “Hey, uh, why don’t you just tell us to do everything a little bit less so we can skip this and get back to work, huh?”
You hear Uncle Jimmy inhale as preparation to verbally beat Carmen’s ass. You put one hand up in front of the old man’s face, the other hand grabs a dry-erase marker. “He didn’t mean it like that and he apologizes, Unc.”
“Does he now?”
“He does.” You drop your hand, focusing on lifting the glass panel, clicking the locks in place to keep it up. You nod to Carmen through the pane. “Right, Carmy?”
Poor Carmen nearly deflates, “...I’m tryna be the guy.” 
“Not what the guy does, baby boy.” You hum, uncapping the marker with your teeth. You turn your head to Cicero. “Guy had a lapse, he forgot you were his boss and just thought of you as family, so he spoke to you like family, cause he loves you, Unc.”
Cicero nods, tilting his head just so at Carmen. “S’that right?”
Carm manages to shake his head and nod all at the same time, “S’a facet.” 
“....Well, just don’t do it again.” A crisis is averted and an uncle is softened. 
“I love to see a family come together.” You hum, nonchalant, writing on the glass, ‘R & D - Cost: Bad’
“Bring it from bad to good.” The Computer notes very helpfully. “You can cut—”
“Hol’ on.” You put your index finger up, effectively shushing him, “Just think about it first. We don’t have to go straight to cutting. Let’s look at our options.”
“Your options are fucked.”
“Just—” You tut, rubbing the bridge of your nose, man, you really are becoming your dad right now. Loosen your grip, Jack. “Widen the scope. We cut costs through returning those chargers— How else can we ‘return’ shit? Carmy?”
Thank God you’re the guy, because Carm can’t hack it. “Heard? Yes?” And frankly, he doesn’t want to.
“What’s the main cost on R and D?”
“Supplies. Food— Y’know, lot of trial and error.” He nods to a bus tub filled with failed attempts over this morning’s session. But you like that, right? “Trying new things, y’know?”
“...Carmen.” He doesn’t answer, because he can hear he’s in trouble. He is staring at you stare at the tub in what seems like a sort of contemplative, serene, searing anger. “Sweetheart, are those four wagyu filets in a fuckin’ bus tub?”
“Yes, it’s got a blood orange reduction, but– But Syd suggested mint—” 
You don’t let him finish, “Is it poison?”
“It’s not.” “It’s edible?” “It is.” “Okay, so then, babydoll, why is it not being eaten?”
Syd winces from the sidelines, hissing under her breath, fist over her mouth. Carmen cannot help but notice. You’re perhaps… a dash upset.
“We can’t eat everything.” “Did you offer it to the crew?” “Yeah—” “You offered it to Nat, Unc, Cheech— All the servers? Or did you just offer it to the cooks?” “...Heard.” “Did you take a bite of all of these?” “Not all.”
You start writing on the glass again, explaining as you do, “Okay. So then uneaten food from R and D should be sold on one of those fuckin’ food waste apps— Too Good to Go, or somethin’. We advertise it to The Beef regulars, try to get the other side of our city to understand the finer things, prevent any brick through window incidents, how we feel ‘bout that?”
You remember small things far too well. You did make note of the rich people shit getting on The Beef customers' nerves. You make note of the people who live on your block, who cannot afford to eat here. You make note of the fact that Carmen resents subtracting with a passion now, so you find another way. He can still try new things, just needs to handle the results better. 
“...You keep a binder or somethin?” Is all Carmen can think to ask. 
“Steel trap memory.” You tap the cap of the marker to your head, “Good though?”
He nods, “Good.”
“Good.” You take a breath, dragging a hand down your face, practically coming out of a fugue state. Carmen knows your need to have something to do, just as much as him, so he slides the jar of fig marmalade to you from across the table. You take it happily, unscrewing the lid. You’ve also been dying to get to this menu.
But Richie comes up from behind, scratch and sniff wine book in hand— Didn’t Mikey get you that? It  was meant to be a gag gift but it’s actually quite useful. “Chip, can you also tell Chef Carmen the daily menu fuckin’ sucks?”
“Re-lax.” You sigh, pulling over all the ingredients and tools you need for Syd’s drink. “Syd told me ‘bout this though, daily pre fixe, or whatever it’s called?”
“It’s—” Carmen crosses his arms over himself, immediately defensive but trying his best not to be. “It’s an idea I’m floating, for now— It’s what the best restaurants do, and— And even if we don’t have full intent on getting a star, right now, it’s still important.”
“I just think…” You hum, trying to figure out the most delicate way to say it. “It doesn’t exactly give you the most room to collaborate or create—”
“The whole point of it is to collaborate and create—”
“Oh yes,” —As if waiting in the wings for this, Richie pops out behind you again, “What wasssit? ‘Vibrant Collaboration’ and ‘Constantly Evolve Through Eating My Own Head like a fucking ouroboros’.”
“Relax.” You hiss this time, putting a hand up in front of Richie. You can speak for yourself. “You don’t have time to be creative or collaborate when you’ve gotta make decisions in less than twelve hours.”
Carmen tries to defend, he gestures to the one good plate of wagyu with mint that came out of this morning, “But the—”
You nod and hum, knowingly. The sweet sound stops him. You already know the answer, but you ask anyway, as you scoop fig marmalade into your cocktail shaker. “Did you get to try the pop rocks thing yet?”
“Well, no, it’s not viable to perfect that in such—”
“A short amount of time, angel?”
“Oooh…” Richie mimics Syd’s movements, air whistling between his teeth as he takes a sharp breath. He gestures, standing behind you, staring at Carmen as he slides his thumb across his neck. He mouths, ‘Mad mad.’
Carmen’s two closest friends are freaking him the fuck out and one of them wasn’t even doing it on purpose. How do they know that? How can they tell that? Are you gonna break up with him? Are you even dating? This work together thing was a terrible idea—
“You don’t have time to be thoughtful about things, if you do an entire menu every day, you’re gonna have to cut corners on what you’re willing to experiment with.” You reword, more productive, better for his brain. “Plus, prix fixe is a fuckin— In—In my opinion, is sort of a lacking idea, maybe, for a new restaurant.”
Carmen’s willing to give up the daily rotation, he’s not so willing to give up the pre fixe. “It’s what the best restaurants do.” Carmen loves the word best, huh?
“Have those restaurants—” You bite your tongue from what was going to be an immediate catty response.
You try again, measuring out orange liqueur and lemon juice as you do so. “You’re thinking like a Chef and you need to think like a customer— A- A guest, for a second.”
Carmen gives you the floor, mostly because he cannot compute the command. You continue, “Let’s do a little roleplay, alright? Let’s say we’re just average people, not workin’ at The Bear, and we’re goin’ on a date.”
“When?” “...When?” “When is the date?” “No, I’m— It’s— This is hypothetical.” “Yeah but in the hypothetical.”
You shrug, clicking tongs together as you grab large chunks of ice for your shaker. “I dunno, Friday nights? We have like a Friday night date night.”
“Oh, so you’re doing good.” Richie hums, proud of this hypothetical you, “Weekly date night is a cornerstone.” 
“Moving on.” You elbow Rich behind you, shaker sloshing in hand, “I’m not a foodie, you are— In this hypothetical. You’re looking around at restaurants in the area for the date, you find The Bear— You find through their website with an improper hyperlink that the menu is,” —You list off on your free hand— “prix fixe, unavailable online, and changes daily so you can’t go off of reviews either. Also, it’s a new place, so you can’t really ask around for opinions.” 
“Right.” Carmen nods, as does Syd. Uncle Jimmy’s got that stupid smirk he gets when he sees his kids fall in line. You pour the ouzo over the ice, focus on the drink, not Carm’s mopey expression. 
“So, we probably wouldn’t go, right?”
Carmen keeps nodding, eyes downcast— Not upset, just can’t take feedback without keeping his head down. “Prob’ly not, yeah.” 
You pound the shaker shut, shaking it lightly in one hand as you try as hard as you can to sweetly explain. “People are open to like, two surprises on an outing. New place, new food— But they will need a set menu and they will need to have it available beforehand— And they’ll need to be able to choose.”
He looks like a cat in the rain, so you add, “But. Maybe we can do a daily special? Or weekly, depending on burnout, but like, y’know, a semi-frequent one new thing. And maybe on like, Valentines or some holidays we do a fresh prix fixe. That’s how some of the best places do it.”
Carmen’s eyes upturn, smiling with them, at that last part. “You do keep a binder.”
“Syd does. I just pay attention.” You shake your head. “She mumbled about it all night when we got back.” 
Adamu is immediately aghast, she should’ve realized ages ago, you were practically quoting her. “You said you couldn’t hear me!”
“No, I said you weren’t bothering me, and you weren’t.” You can’t hide your smile as you break the seal on the shaker. Syd sucks at sharing her ideas, but you’re happy to act as a good mouth for her good brain. “Hand me a lowball.” 
With a grumble, Syd walks off in search of  the lowball; while everyone does seem to agree this is best practice, Carmen does still seem a little sore about it.
“It’d probably also serve us well to do a seasonally rotating menu, right?” And so you throw him a bone. “Like Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall? Base it on what’s in season with local vendors?”
“What grows together goes together.” Tina says, nearly sing-songy. “Farmer’s market is rough though, Jeff.” 
“Fuck a farmer’s market— With love, fuck a farmer’s market.” Back to writing on plexiglass you go. “We gotta do vendors, maybe f’ like, eggs and dairy we can do farmer’s market, but it’s just not feasible. Maybe for holiday pre fixe or daily specials? But full stock, it’s just not— It’s not it. And I say that while having farm fresh eggs and local honey in my pantry, alright?”
Carmen agrees, like a bobble-head this guy. He nods to Tina. “That cool with you, T?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s cool with me.” Tina is a millisecond off to pipe in, which is really not noticeable– To anyone but you, that is.
“Why’s— Why would T not be good with that?”
“She’s in charge of farmer’s market.” 
“Hm.” You bite the end of the dry-erase marker. “T, would you be cool with rotating that, now and again?”
“Ooh?” She tilts her head, shrugging, “Yeah, yeah, kid. If you wanna take the reins.”
“Not me.” You return to scribbling on the glass board. You point at Carmen and Syd through the glass. “Them.” 
“I’ve paid my sous chef dues.” Says Syd, returning to the table with your glass. You tut, shaking your head. You refocus your vision from your writing to beyond the plexiglass, at them. 
“You need it for inspiration! You fuckers keep forgetting you like cooking, I need you to visit the farmer’s market once in a while to remind you.” You take the lowball glass and tong a few ice cubes in. “Non-negotiable. Heard?”
A soft, simultaneous, “Heard, Chef.” from your cats. 
“Good.” You strain the mixed concoction out of the shaker, into the lowball glass. It’s a very pretty peachy pink. You tweezer a slice of dried fig and place it on top. You grab a toothpick, stick it down the glass, pull it out, and taste the toothpick. Balanced, solid flavour, should be good.
You slide the drink over to Syd. “I can’t drink everything obviously, so first dibs goes to whoever the drink is based on— I don’t care who drinks it, just let me know if it goes down smooth.”
You also in turn hand Syd the recipe card and sketch, and you’re quick to move on as she reviews and sips away.
Ouzo. Dry anise tasting spirit. It’s got a licorice aftertaste, but oddly sweeter for it. It’s strong. Resilient. It’s made from remnants of unfermented wine grapes and a mix of other distilled and unused spirits. Better than the sum of its parts. It goes well with figs. Muddle it together with fig marmalade— Sweet yet earthy, spring-like. Orange liqueur to marry the flavours, lemon juice to brighten. Shaken, pour over ice into a lowball, serve with a dried fig on top.
Syd manages to reserve her reaction to a slow but repetitive nod, like entering deep space. She only comes back to reality when Richie reaches for the drink, wanting to try. She’s quick to pull it away from him, coveting the glass. 
“Ah… what else? Rapid fire.” You knock your head around, remembering what The Computer talked about, and in quick succession, you line up every problem and talk through them, possibly solve them— As best as a newbie can. At the very least, you open the floor to actual discussions as you make drinks all the while. 
“Opening a full sixth day I think will shoot us in the long run, especially if we ever get a kitchen plague going. Maybe we just open for half the day on Mondays going forward, try out breakfast? Stop booing me, I’m right.”
Richie’s. Also served over ice in a lowball. It’s similar to a whiskey smash. Nixing the mint. Whiskey bourbon— A good one, but not too good that it’s a sin to mix. Something with a cinnamon spice, that's warm all the way down, but never burns. Water it down a bit by stirring peach juice over the whiskey with ice for a brief moment. Float blueberry syrup on top. Add a toothpick, spearing two blueberries and one peach halve, balance it over the glass, for stirring. So the drinker can mix the blueberry syrup in and have a cute colour changing experience. 
“Wine pours, me and Gary got that. We can also just start charging by the bottle by default— Whatever works.” 
Marcus’. Simple but effective. A rum and coke ice cream float. Made complex by the fact that the ice cream is on a rotating schedule, based on whatever Chef Brooks is feeling that night and what’s in stock. Right now? Pistachio. So tonight it’s actually rum and seltzer, and it will probably continue to be rum and seltzer, based on the way Marcus’ eyes light up by the opportunity to get weird. More often than not, you’re going to need that neutral base. Served in a milkshake glass, because what else?
“I don’t understand why I couldn’t just grow these microgreens myself in house. They’re just plants you murder early, are they not? Am I missing something?”
Tina’s. Varied take on a spiked agua fresca. Fresh blended mango agua fresca— With ginger, of course. A healthy kick is a necessity for a mom drink. Sweetened with simple syrup, spiked with white rum, dash of agave bitters, top with coconut water. Served in a tall glass, because why would you skimp on portions?
“Why are we shipping flowers from New York? No, fuck that, go to Violet’s Violets— I fixed her cooler once, she falls in love and gives a discount to literally anyone who’s nice to her. Just send Marcus with some dessert and you’ll be set for life.”
And of course, Carmen’s aperol spritz. You go with the cherry syrup rim for now because it’s important to try. You’re almost certain it’s too much though.
“Napkins…” You rub your icy cold hands— From shaking up so many goddamn drinks— Over your eyes. “Why are we renting?”
“Buying is insanely overpriced.” Answers Computer. 
You nod, shrug, but nod, fingers tapping the glass, “Well, it’s like renting over owning right? It might be better to own because, y’know, you might suddenly get told by your napkin vendor, like, like years down the line, after basically paying for these napkins in full through rent, ‘hey, actually, we’re gonna jack up prices or just take those napkins back’ even though you’ve —again— Literally had them for years—”
“Chippy, are you good?” Richie tries to massage your shoulder, tries to break you out of the doom spiral, but admittedly, it was never his forte. Still isn’t. 
“We—!” Your voice hangs and is grating in a way it usually isn’t, ignoring the question. “We can produce our own napkins if we buy linens by the yard and hem ‘em ourselves. We—” You snap your fingers a couple times at Carmen, praying he backs you up. “We can even get The Bear monogrammed on them.”
“That sounds nice…” It’s Carmen’s turn to ease you off the ledge of insanity, gently. “It also sounds expensive, were you gonna do that?”
“Fuck no.” You’re quick to shake your head. “I fucking suck at sewing, my own jumpsuit is covered in my blood— No, my—” Oh. “Hold on.”
Your hand immediately goes for your back pocket, quickly pulling your cell-phone out, and dial one of your first starred contacts. Richie, over your shoulder still, sipping his blueberry and bourbon cocktail, excitedly mumbles. “Oh, put it on speaker.”
You’re annoyed before he’s even answered, knowing the headache you’re about to get. “Trust me, the first thirty seconds minimum will not need—”
“Hey!” It’s impossible to convey how earth shatteringly loud and drawn out his voice is, immediately upon answering. There may be eight seconds of the sustained vowel? Maybe more. Almost everyone flinches, par for Syd, Carm, and Rich. Though for all different reasons. 
A touch grating, in the same way your voice just was. Like father, like occasional daughter, you suppose. “Hey kiddo baby darling sweetheart angel princess—” Oh, he’s mad. The whole ‘slew of nicknames when you’re pissed off’ thing? Yeah, that didn’t start with you. “Did someone die? Because that’s the only reason my darling baby only daughter calls anymore!”
You sigh, immediately exhausted, putting your weight on one leg. “Y’know, once a month is honestly a lot of times a year for a fully grown woman to call their dad, on average. I absolutely call you more than my friends call their dads.”
Richie almost chokes and whispers over your shoulder, hesitant, internally preparing for a dreadful future. “Please tell me that’s not true.”
“Oh, and you should be so lucky that you have a dad to call! Cause I bet those friends are calling funeral homes, aren’t they?!”
“Dad—”
“I should have never taught you independence. Worst mistake of my life to teach you how to be your own person. Richard, never teach your kid how to use a screwdriver, it will be the last day you are a father.”
“Noted, Big C-K.” Richie goes for your dry erase to actually write it down, you pull it away from him. That’s gonna require a long talk down later. 
Carmen mouths to you, across the table, he meant to ask earlier when Cicero said it but there wasn’t time. ‘C-K?’
You mouth back, gesturing to the logo on your very own flannel ‘Chicago’s Kindest.’ He’s not the best with acronyms. 
“Oh— And thank you for bringing that up! And what’s this I hear about you cutting your hours with C-K? I hear this from Tony of all people ‘fore I hear it from you?”
“I got a long-term bartender gig that’s actually gonna keep my bills paid, alright? And I like it. Putting that mixology double trade major to good use. Cicero’s got stock in the place, actually.”
“How you doin’ C-K?” Cicero pipes in next to you, waiting for his moment.
“Ah… I’ve got my complaints. For one, my Jack keeps you more company than me!”
There’s a series of hums and haws, that weird uncle secret language of heavy exhales that manage to say more than any actual words they could say. 
You let the heaving run its course for ten seconds before cutting it short with, “Anyways, I’m still gonna keep the business running, just only in the mornings. It’s not like I brought in that much business anyway, I’m not pulling a foundation.”
“Everytime a small business dies, a rich man laughs, Jack!” 
“It’s not dying! It’s alive! It’s present and alive!” Don’t get flashbacks. “Anyways, speaking of small businesses, I need a favour—”
“Ooh, the truth comes out, princess calls cause she needs bail—” 
“For the love of God, let me get through a sentence, Pops!” You grumble, continuing. “Remember that overpriced monogram machine you bought for no reason?”
“It was not for no reason, it was invaluable because it saved my mitts from hand embroidering all those logos— And and— you have to remember—” You mouth the words along with him, mimicking him, because you know exactly what he’s going to say, “that it all starts in your community— And now you have like eight beautiful outfits, cause of me… And also it’s fun.”
“Well… If it’s fun, would you consider making some linen napkins?”
And it flows like ping pong, because your dad is a repairman— Well, former, but still. He’s simple. He handles negotiations simple. So do you.
“For who?” “Restaurant. The Bear.” “Why?” “Cause they need linen napkins.” “How many?”
You look over your shoulder to Richie, he does the math in his head pretty quickly, “Bout seventy to a hundred covers a night.”
“Six hundred.” “Pay?” “We’ll pay supplies, and I’ll give you like—” You look to Syd, expectantly. She has no answer, so you put your advanced on the line. “A thousand?”
“A thousand!? Less than a dollar a napkin! Is this pre-housing crisis?!” “I work here, okay?! Discount me!” “My God, princess, are you in love with the owner or something?”
That world feels like it's choking, but that's probably just you. You blow hot air out of your mouth, looking anywhere but Carmen. Refusing to see him even in your periphery. Refusing to see his blue screened but ever so slightly expectant expression. Well? Are you? …Or something?
After a long moment, you find a way to avoid the question. “Ah–Uh, Syd co-owns the place.”
“Oh, Adamu?!” 
Syd pipes in, leaning over the table. You hold the phone out for her. “H–Hey, Mr. CK.” She waves, despite the fact that it’s a phone call.
“Hey kiddo. Aw, what a sweetheart. Lead with her next time!”
“Alright!” You bring the phone back to your face— It’s remained off speakerphone this entire time, but he continues to yell loud enough for the table. “I didn’t realize you were best friends.”
“Of course we are. Y’know she brought me this uh– this salmon mushroom risotto the other night? Unbelievable.”
You squint at Adamu curiously, whispering. “You bring my dad food?”
She whispers in return, defensive. “He lives on my block, don’t be weird.”
“For her, I’ll do it for eight-hundred, okay kiddo? I know how tough it is to start up a business, can’t imagine trying to move on top of that.”
Your turn to blue screen. Moving? You’re immediately over the love thing. “...Pardon?”
“...I’ll do it for eight—”
“No– Yes, sorry, yes dad that’s great—” You arch the phone away from your face, focusing your attention on Syd. “Syd, you’re moving out?”
She sighs, “Trying to.”
“Pops.” You straighten up, not looking away from her. “I’ll call you back to sort details later, okay?”
“Sure. You also need to let me know holiday plans, are we going up to Oak Park or—”
Somewhat disrespectfully, you speak hurriedly, “Yeah, we’ll figure it out, love you, bye!” and hang up. Still locked on Syd, you ask. “When you tryna move?”
“Like, soon as possible.” She stretches out her shoulders. “My own dad is sort of… Encroaching on my space.” 
“Right.” Your eyes flicker with too many ideas, and you’re trying to temper expectations. “You wanna live by yourself?”
“I mean, I don’t really know anyone on the same timeline as me, with the same ‘low budget’ as me.”
The Computer attempts to interrupt the interruption of his review, holding a finger up, “And why are we talking about—”
But you hold the palm of your hand up, continuing on, “I need to move out asap and have a ‘low budget’.”
That’s Carmen’s queue to chime in, he loves your place. “What happened?” 
Also Richie’s, “What? Chip, your spot’s like a historical site, ya can’t move.” and this is generally agreed upon by a sea of dismayed voices.
“To make an extremely long story short, I don’t have a choice.” You wave your hand in the air, silencing murmurs. “My sweet old lady landlord— The only landlord I’ve ever respected, got bought out by a fuckin’ big business gentrification ass company— I’m not in a rent controlled zone so they’re gonna keep jacking the rent until I move out so they can tear it down and build a new spot— They also may or may not have found out that me and Loretta— My landlord— Haven’t exactly been keeping up to date on my lease.”
“Meaning?” Carmen knows the answer will be bad. 
But it’s somehow worse. “Meaning I pay my rent on time in cash and she texts me once a year saying ‘do you want to keep living here?’ and I say ‘yes’, and we continue on.”
“Well, hold up—” Richie holds a hand up, like he’s a genius. “Squatter’s rights?”
“I thought about going that avenue, but—” You gesture to Syd. “If you’re already moving, and looking for a roommate?”
She looks up and around, thinking about it. You decide to join her in the brainstorm, scooching yourself just an inch to the right, writing on free space on the plexiglass screen, ‘pros and cons’
“Pro.” You murmur as you write. “I have a better credit score than you.”
Syd sputters, half sarcastic. “Well, that’s just uncalled for.”
“It’ll give you more options for places! Better ones! Ones with in-unit laundry!” You defend.
“In-unit laundry…” “Your eyes just lit up in such a sad way.” “Con. You are an ass.”
“That’s a pro. A real con would be that I have a lot of plants and if I ever go on vacation I’m gonna need you to take care of them, and I’m not gonna have a binder for you, because I water them based on vibes, and if I come back and they’re dying I’m gonna be pissed off and very passive aggressive about it.”
“Violently honest.” “Pro. Mostly direct. Aside from when I’m not.” “Con. I’m not direct.”
“Con. That’s fine but if I get the idea that you’re mad at me I’m gonna act really weird about it until you reassure me that everything is okay and you don’t want to throw me out the window.”
“Yeah. Con. Same.”
“Pro. I’ve lived by myself for a while, which is good to have when you’re moving out of your parents for the first time. Con. I’ve lived by myself for a while, and I’m very used to the lifestyle of big t-shirt no pants, I’m not giving that up.”
Now that one takes Syd a second to unpack, “But, but like, underwear though, right—?”
“No shit I wear underwear!”
“Okay! It’s important to note!”
“Don’t be weird.” Richie grumbles behind you, solidly directed at Carmen.
Who’s whole face really just scrunches up in confusion. “‘Don’t be weird’? You don’t be weird.”
“I’m not bein’ fuckin’ weird—” “Then why are you up in my shit—” “Up in your shit? Oh wow—” “Fully not what I was referencing—” “Don’t be weird, cousin!” “I literally— I did not even move— Not a single cell in my body—” “And— And you only know that ‘cause you had to lock it down, you dog—”
“I don’t remember having kids, why the fuck am I in a Kindergarden?” Uncle Jimmy interrupts.
“I’m just takin’ care of my boy, Unc.” Richie raises a hand in defense, feigning innocence. “Can’t be too careful.”
“You super can, and you super are.” You grimace, elbowing him again. “And also, not important–!”
“Actually, no, very important.” Syd of all people interrupts. “Non-negotiable, like you can’t— …Like you— …When I’m home it’s like— Don’t—” Ah.
You roll your eyes and save her before she just about breaks out in a feverish sweat. “Syd, I wasn’t planning on it. That’s like roommate rule one.”
“Syd.” Richie points to his own eyes, then to hers, ‘watching you’. “Don’t be weird.”
“What the fuck—”
“Everyone shut up, pros and cons—!” You shout, gaining the attention back. “Pros. I have a car, we work at the same place, I have all the furniture for a living room already,  you'd never have to wait for a landlord to fix something ever again, and I could probably do a bunch of D-I-Y renter friendly projects, if you wanted.”
“...Oh my god, a French-door pantry.” “I think I could swing that.” “Pros. You’ll never have to cook again. I guess that’s my only pro, actually.”
“Con. I have been feeding the cat on my fire escape for like a year and if I’m moving I am going to have to adopt her, so we’re gonna have a cat. She’s cute, she has five toes on each paw. Something dactyl, it’s called.”
“What’s her name?” Squid’s not excited per se, but she’s not saying no. 
You shrug. “I never named her, let’s name her together.”
“No, that’s too much pressure—” “No, you’ll do great—” “What do you mean I’ll do great—?” “Three–” “Oh like together together? No! What—?!” “Shut up, just do it, head empty, two—” “No! I’m just not gonna say any—” “Yes you will, Squid. One!”
And together, perfectly in sync, like it was planned all along, you both say on queue, “Calamari!”
“There we go.” You write ‘Calamari’ on the plexiglass. “That’s my girl— That’s our girl, actually. I’m still not sure if she’s a girl.”
You click your tongue against your teeth, knocking your head back and forth in thought as you look at the scribblings on the glass. “Non-negotiables?”
Syd leans forward on the table, chin propped up in her hands. “I need forty-five minutes of bathroom time at the beginning of the day.”
“...Do you have a fuckin’ lactose intolerance?” “It’s my me time!” “Alright! Fuckin’ fifty minutes of toilet time for Syd. Ah, I need east facing windows… and uhm…”
Syd stares at you, and alas, she can tell, “You have a big non-negotiable…”
“It’s not that big… It’s more a group thing than a roommate thing, really…” “What is it?” “I think… It would be fun… If we all started playing Dungeons and Drag—” 
There’s an immediate, staggeringly loud array of groans, you’re still writing it down nonetheless, all the while defending, “I honestly think a little roleplay and math would fix you assholes! I really think it would! I’ll D-M, I’ll make it so easy— Please?”
Syd grimaces, but inevitably nods. “Y’know what, you’re never gonna get a concrete schedule for that down, and no one else is gonna agree so yes, sure from me.” Still a win. 
“Okay.” You hum, capping the marker. “So… Aim to move first of February? You down?”
It takes some time, and you realize as Syd’s brain frozen, that you might be overstepping. “Sorry, that’s going too fast, you think on it—”
“...I’m down.” You make it very easy for her to say yes, by giving her the option to say no. “Yeah, let’s do it. February. I’m down.”
“I’m so happy for you two, but I’m still fuckin’ reeling— Chippy, it’s– it’s— So many memories—” Richie’s being overly dramatic on purpose, hand on your shoulder, really laying on the vocal fry in his voice; but it is true. “I mean, come on, first time I’d ever been stabbed was on your block.”
“Sorry, what?” Carmen was having fun watching his two favourite employees figure out they’d be perfect roommates. He loves to be a fly on walls around you more than he’d like to admit. Richie managed to ruin it with one line. “Stabbed on your block?”
“Yeah,” You suck the air between your teeth, trying to think of some sort of white lie, but slowly shake your head, “I— Yeah, there’s no real way for me to down play it, I was so fuckin’ scared.”
“You were tweaking!” Richie laughs, clapping his hand against your shoulder, to him it’s a charming story— You’d probably be laughing too, if Carmen didn’t seem so… unpleased, let’s say. “You fuckin’ thought I was gonna die!”
“You fucking were!” You slap Rich’s hand away. “It was so close to a cerebral artery— First and last time I’ll administer stitches in my fucking kitchen, hand to God—”
“What’s the story?” Oh, new face from Carmen you haven’t seen before, bewildered annoyance, you’d describe it as, it’s going in your bottom five. “You live in a bad neighbourhood?”
“It’s rustic—” You try, but Richie opts to speak on your behalf. “Oh, Chip lives in a terrible neighbourhood, Cousin. You’ve been there, haven’t you?”
“Yeah but it didn’t seem that bad— No— Hold on, go back, stabbed why?”
“So I heroically defended a boy from crooked—” Richie tries, but you opt to speak on his behalf. “Richie was helping me bring up groceries, we saw some highschoolers shaking a kid down, Richie tried to break it up, one of ‘em stabbed him with one of those shitty switchblade comb things.”
“You got stabbed by a kid?” Syd snorts, but immediately regrets it because she has perfectly set him up for—
“Yeah, and wouldn’t be the last time, would it?”
“Richie, c’mon…” You reach up, patting the guy’s shoulder. “It was an accident and she apologized—”
Richie just raises his eyebrows, interrupting with a simple, “Mm-mm.” 
And so yours raise in tow, “...Fuck you mean ‘mm-mm’?” And your head turns to Syd, alarmed. “Syd, you apologized, right?”
Her mouth just sort of hangs, sputtering noises do come out of it, but nothing that strings a sentence together. You grow more agog, repeating again, astonished, nearly laughing from the shock, “Syd?! You apologized, right?! And told him it was an accident, right?”
Syd takes a beat, but she gets there. “I— I. Am. Sorry I stabbed you by accident, Richie.”
“Hm.” Richie crosses his arms, considering, mostly sarcastically. “Yeah, I’ll take it, I guess. Would’ve liked a card.”
“I am not getting you a card.” “I’m jus’ sayin’ I’d’ve liked one.”
Carmen’s still five steps behind, “Are you gonna be fine living there? In January?”
You choke back a laugh, because this is how men try to show they care, one must imagine. “I’ve been fine for the past handful of years living there, I think I’ll be fine for another month, sweetheart.”
“Crime is bad in January.”
“I was a first responder, and I know that’s not true.” You shake your head, shirking off laughter. “It’s actually in the summer that you see shit go down. Again, I will be fine. But you are free to visit.”
“Point of order.” The Computer finally pipes up again— Might’ve forgot he was here, if you’re honest. “What are we talking about anymore?”
“Point of order— I feel like numbers— Talking numbers is great but it’s all just like— Paper, y’know?” You unlatch the plexiglass, gently settling it back down on the table. “We should be talking more.”
Tina nearly whistles in agreement, nodding by your side. “Heavy that, Jeff.”
“That’s what I’m sayin’, like—” You snap your fingers to the rest of the crew, hand moving to and fro to point at everyone, “Did y’all know until right now that Syd was moving? …No, right? Let’s like— Fuckin’ remember to check in, like y’know, family, Chefs.”
And without calling her out, you can feel Tina’s demeanor next to you change, relaxed. 
“Heard, Chef.” Is the agreement from the crew, however, The Computer nor Cicero seem convinced, so with a sigh, you put on your most authoritative voice.
 “Y’know. Three Cs! Caring cuts costs!” A phrase no one has ever said, but it sounds legitimate when you put it like that. That gets them to acquiesce. 
Thank God, Marcus helps you move the conversation along, “...What’s everyone doing for the holidays?” Alas for both of you, the silence is deafening. “...Or not.”
You volley back for him, “If no one has hard plans I was thinking of having a lil’ Holiday party? Nothing big. Sort of a ‘goodbye old apartment’ party? Come by after you hang out with your families or whatever?”
“Not gonna go up to Oak Park?” Rich leans one arm on your shoulder, nursing his whiskey cocktail in the other. 
“Meh.” You shrug, attempting to push him off you, but he doubles down. “We’re not so intense about holidays since everyone’s aged. I’ll visit my nephew on New Years.” 
“I’m doin’ Eve with Eva, but I’ll be free on the day. I’ll come by. We doin’ gifts?”
“I mean I got you something, so,” You tap the bottom of his glass as Rich takes another sip, making him flinch. “Catch the fuck up.” 
Syd pipes in, sniffing. “Me and my dad only celebrate on Christmas Eve now, so I’ll come.”
“Incredible. Two down.” You gesture to Marcus and Tina across the table. “You guys? Tina I assume you’ve got a loving family and shit?”
Tina smiles and nods, rightfully proud. “I do have a loving family and shit, but maybe I’ll come by late with them too?”
And Marcus tacks on with her, “I’m gonna be with my mom most of the night, but I’ll come through for a couple hours.”
“Perfect, perfect. Invites open to any plus ones as long as you text me first!” You hum, writing names down on the glass board. It’s kind of a nightmare of different lists at this point. “Richie, can you make sure Fak and Sweeps get the invite?”
“Yessir.”
“And us!?” Shrieks Cheech in the back, who really shouldn’t be able to hear you, he should be in the zone, slinging sandwiches.
You yell back without turning to him. “Yes, fucker, you and E can come, if you want! No fuckin’ plus one for you though!”
“Oh come the fuck on, Jack-Off!”
“Oh, make me a fuckin’ sandwich, big man!”
“Oh, I’ll make you a fuckin’ sandwich!”
“Oh, my dick!” A response that makes no sense, consistently the perfect bookend. You sigh, and finally, your eyes flit to the most terrified two in the room. “Berzattos… Holiday plans?”
“I think we’re gonna do dinner on Christmas Eve, and then the morning together? Well, I am.” Sug hesitates, she’s looking between Uncle Jimmy and Carmen. “I was gonna ask what Carm’s plan is…”
“I’ll go. I’ll go.” Carmen has to stop himself from biting the skin off the tips of his fingers. “I’ll go. And I’ll come to the party, after.” 
“I’ll probably just go home with Pete after. Baby’s first Christmas, y’know.” Natalie hums and nods awkwardly. There’s a question both of them want to ask. Neither of them are brave enough to ask it. And while you can sense there’s something dancing in the air, you’re not going to overstep on this front. 
“Mazel. I can buy silly decor with reason now. …Now let’s talk about the important grievances.” You hum, happy to end that chapter.
You turn just slightly to gently slap Richie’s cheek as he stands next to you. “Rich, you need to line your beard up, this neckbeard shit is pissing me off—”
“What’s with the fuckin’ drive by?!” “It’s been on my mind forever— You can’t be wearin’ suits and then be rockin’ that unkempt shit, clean up—” “I’m clean! I’m fucking clean!” “Who said? Who fuckin’ said? Cause I sure didn’t!” “How’m I s’posed to be linin’ my shit up every mornin’—” “You do not grow a beard that fast—” “Oh fuck you, I’m not fuckin’ Carmen, I grow a fuckin’ beard.”
Carmen’s just surprised to hear his name out of any name come up. “What– Now that’s a fucking drive by, what the fuck?” 
“If we’re voicing grievances, I’d like to voice my fuckin’ complaint with Captain Crash-Out over here—” “Who the fuck is sublimating now?” “You’re not usin’ that term correctly, cause you’re not integrated—” “I thought you two worked this out on the road trip!” “We did!”
You only half regret starting this feud with the beard comment— To be fair, you’re right. “This is it working?” 
“This is, in fact, it working.” Syd confirms plainly, her disappointment more than apparent. Rubbing the tips of her fingers to her temples. The fight is out of her, at this point. 
“Alright.” You slap your hands together. “Richie, what is your complaint?” Are you just union rep now? You might be a union rep now. 
“Carmen is fucking killing me.” The cocktail swishes and nearly spills as Richie points at the Chef, emphatic. “He won’t change shit for guests!”
“No substitutions!” It’s almost cultish, the way Sydney and Carmen yell it out together. 
Richie scoffs, head reeling back. “What happened to it bein’ about hospitality?” 
“I mean…” You suck air through your teeth, squinting. “If we’re sayin’ no substitutions, it’s no substitutions— Unless it’s like an allergy or sensory thing— But even then, it shouldn’t be like a major component getting replaced.”
“See? See?” It’s almost maniacal, rabid, how delighted Carmen is that you’re on his side. “Fuckin’ thank you. This is why I lo—” 
Before Carmen can finish his sentence, Richie flails about to suddenly throw the peach and blueberry skewer from his drink at Carmen— Not the pointed side, he doesn’t want to stab the guy. Just wants to save him from running his mouth. The peach slice hits Carm’s chest as Richie stutters out, “F-Fuck you, fuck you, fine. No substitutions— What the fuck am I supposed to say then?” speaking over whatever syllables fell out of Carmen’s mouth, muddling them. 
You cock your brow, but Carmen seems to quickly let the childish toss go, more than eager to move on. So you do too. “...Say some bullshit like, like, The Bear encourages —uhm— explorative culinary experiences where you let your taste buds go beyond your limitations and comforts— So eat a fuckin’ mushroom, you’re not gonna die.”
“If they don’t like mushrooms—” “Then they shouldn’t order it!” “How hard is it to just fuckin’ switch it out!?” “So hard! So hard! I think! I could guess!”
“I could do it.”
“Could you?” You cross your arms, leaning your weight onto one leg, pivoting to Richie. “Okay, roleplay, you’re Carmen, I’m you—” Just as Richie opens his mouth, you hold your index finger to his lips. “I know you wanna be a bitch, I’m askin’ you to just skip that part for me.”
His shit eating grin is only a little endearing. “How am I supposed to be in character if I’m not allowed to be a bitch?”
You clench and unclench your hands in the air, but let it go, opting to move on to your little thought experiment. “Chef, patient—” Instincts never give out, huh? “Christ, patron doesn’t want mushrooms in their anolini, I need you to sub it.”
“Ah, well I’m happy to do that for you, Host Richie, I—” He’s going to go into some scathing spiel, and you love the guy, but you have to rub dirt in the wound for the lesson to stick. 
You speak over him, voice stern, “Chef. In order to keep pace, I need you to make this call in fifteen seconds, what are you subbing it for?”
Richie’s head shakes back and forth as he scrambles to get his brain to work.“Fuckin— Fucking– Eggplant.” 
“Eggplant?” You ask politely, tone unsure. Carmen asks it with you, tone ridiculing. 
“It’s a sauce isn’t it?” You squint, turning your head to the actual Carmen. “It’s like a really thick mushroom sauce stuffed pasta?”
He tilts his head from side to side, but nods. In gist, yes. “It’s a ragout. Low and slow cooked stew—” Carmy’s ready to rave about it and teach you every facet of the dish, but perhaps that’s too romantic for a public setting. God, he’s weird about love. “We keep it going on our back burners all day— It takes an hour minimum to make from scratch, you can’t just sub it.” 
“Yeah, well…” Richie stops himself short of getting snarky for no reason all over again, taking a second to think about it. “Well, I didn’t know that. You didn’t explain that shit to me.”
“I don’t have time to hold your fuckin’ hand—” Carmen stops short of getting catty when you give him a very soft and yet gutting disappointed look. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sniffing. “I can’t explain why I do everythin’ I do when I’m— When we’re in a middle of a rush, I just need you to trust when kitchen says we can’t do it. Trust that I thought it through.”
Richie has to control himself, has to make sure the corners of his mouth don’t upturn just slightly, has to make sure it’s not clear that he is overjoyed that there’s finally middle ground, can’t get his hopes up. He nods. “I just wanna make everyone happy, y’know?”
“I know. You’re—” Carmen’s nose scrunches up for a second, God, he’s never had to say that he think’s Richie’s good to his face. And he’s not gonna start now, “Eggplant would be a good sub, if we had time.”
Richie prods his tongue along the side of his cheek, thinking. “Maybe I could look into knowin’ restrictions faster and estimatin’ their orders, so you can have ‘em on deck?”
And Carmen does think that’d be a waste of time, but he’s learning. He hears it out. “Could give it a shot, yeah.”
“Same team.” Richie reaches across the counter, and Carmen actually takes his hand, a quick dap. Civil.
“Same team.” First time you’ve heard Carmen adopt your idiom; you can’t help but smile, though you’re trying to hide it. You’re too focused on arguably the two most important men in your life to notice the silent conversation Uncle Jimmy is having with The Computer, speaking solely through nods and exchanged glances. 
Pay is for Chip. Cicero nods, and The Computer nods back. He gets it now. Pay is for Chip. Not just the mixologist, not just the sommelier, not just the repairman, not just the not-quite girlfriend, Chip. You’re Chip. You’re the cog, the piece. The grease between everyone. 
You’re the guy. Always have been, always will be. 
The silent conversation and the warm feeling in the room is cut short though, by The Computer. “Can she deal with the butter thing?”
“What the fuck is the butter thing?” You immediately jump onto the case, when Carmen looks down and away from you, you frown, leaning in. “What’s the butter thing?”
Jimmy snaps his fingers at The Computer, he hands him an invoice, which is then handed off to you. Old Major Farms, Orwellian Butter, salted and unsalted. $11,268. You just. Stare. The math comes all too easy to your head. Worth a week? 
“It’s the best.” Carmen repeats as your eyes remain worryingly unblinking. “It’s—”
“Carm.” Syd all but hisses, shaking her head in tight swivels, waving her hand around her neck for him to cut it. “Making it worse.”
“Angel is like, the worst it can get.” Hums Richie. Recalling your barometer of anger. Recalling the times when Mikey would say ‘what’s the point of paying bills?’ And you’d have to pull him aside. “Can’t get much lower than that besides—”
“Light of my life.” You look up from the paper in your hand, and both Richie and Sydney wince. Your voice is terrifyingly delicate as you nod over to the room behind you. “Apple of my eye. Can I speak to you in your office, please?”
Carmy’d like to say no. “...Yeah.” But you already started walking before he even answered, so there’s not much of a choice here. You head in by yourself, and thankfully, the door closes behind you, so Carmen’s got a second before he gets devoured. 
He walks around the counter, and as he nears the door, Richie grabs his arm. He whispers as he hands Carmen what’s left of his cocktail. “You need to lock the fuck in.”
“I know.” Carm returns, shooting down all that’s left of the lowball. Why’s Richie’s the sweet one? Why’d Carmen get the cough syrup drink? That’s not fair. Do you not think he’s sweet? “Thank you for the— Intercept.” 
Richie nods, he’s been unwillingly playing quarterback for Carmen since going to Rockefeller and seeing that goddamn giant tree and Carmen couldn’t stop opening his big fucking mouth after seeing you under the star. “Just think with your brain, not your—”
“Don’t.” “Was gonna say heart.” “Sure.” “Don’t be weird.”
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“I know it’s expensive.” Carmen gets it out before even fully closing the door behind him, “But it’s normal prices, for high-end restaurants. I know it’s different—” He stops short when he finally turns around from the closed door, to see you, holding your painting. 
It’s facing you, you’re reviewing it in your hands where you sit in the office chair; the brown wrapping paper freshly ripped and on the floor. Carmen still doesn’t know what’s on the piece. 
“Carm.” You twist the piece around in your hand, turning it to him. He can see the nine squares. The Beef to The Bear. Mikey. “This is not another restaurant.”
Carmen continues to stare, silently, though he takes a step closer, reaching a hand out to graze over the canvas. You keep going, clarifying. “We’re not just another high-end restaurant. We’re us. And so we should be doing things like us. We’re the best, we don’t need the stuff to be.”
He was with you until that last part. His pursed lips say as much.
“It’s—” You smack your lips together, haphazardly handing him the canvas, he’s very quick to grab it with both hands, not wanting it unstable for a second. “Hold on, let me show you somethin’ — I think I left one in here.”
You roll the office chair back a bit, sinking down in the seat to reach far behind a tall cabinet; you have to pad your hand around in the dark nook for quite some time before you pull out— A screwdriver. An oddly shaped one, at that.
“...Has that been here the whole time?”
You nod. “Like threeish years at least, I think I threw it back there while telling it’s origin story. It’s part of the first set I ever got.” You grip the flat wooden handle. “It’s the worst screwdriver on earth, like, by far.” 
That gets a little chuckle out of Carmen. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You look up from it to him. “It’s a handmade set. Dad’s dad made it.” You awkwardly roll closer to him, he leans over, head next to your head as you both look down at it. “It’s got a flat wooden handle, made of poplar— So not only is it fucking impossible to get a good grip on, it’s also so fucking slippery. It’s part of a whole set, passed down from my grandpa to my dad to me.”
“Sounds fucked.”
“It is.” You laugh, and so does he. “It’s purposefully meant to piss you off.” You rub your thumb over the dent marks in the wood— All from the times you threw it at something— Including the very cabinet that it hid behind. “You ever wonder why I took over the handyman gig, bein’ the youngest and all?”
Carmy shrugs, glancing from the screwdriver to you. “Just assumed you were the best.”
That gets another laugh out of you, and Carmen’s overjoyed by the sound. “Yeah, I’m probably the best. But that’s only cause I kept up with it.”
You turn your head up to face Carmen again as you explain, “When our dad started bringing us to jobs as kids, he would make us exclusively use this set of screwdrivers— Sort of as a secret test. My brothers would get pissed off, as planned, and they’d quit and cry. And I dunno, I guess I’d cry and keep going? And I learned a couple tricks, eventually.”
“Tricks?”
“Like.” You pull back in the chair and run your hand across the office desk. The corners of it are screwed into the metal cabinet below it. “It’s really good if you’re screwing from the top down.” Using it as an example, you start to unscrew it. “It’s balanced. And it’s really all in the grip— Always loosen your grip with this one. Even if that seems counterintuitive.”
You get it to unscrew just fine with your loosened grip. “But if that doesn’t work, and you just can’t get it to work—” You lift the screwdriver in front of his face, showing off the sides of the handle. He smirks at the— “Just make your own grooves, it’ll be easier to hold.” Tiny teeth marks. 
“Carm.” You tap the handle to his nose as he zones in too much on it. “I’m the best repairman because I can work with anything. You’re the best Chef because you can work with anything. You don’t need the best when you’re the best.”
He’s the best? 
He’s the best. 
He’s the best. 
“I truly think you could make just as good a plate with Becel as this fucking Animal Farm butter.” 
Carmen’s the best. You think he’s the best. 
He’s gotta think with his head and not with his heart and not with anything else, either. Lock the fuck in, Carmen.
“I dunno bout all that.” He shrugs, bashful and attempting to hide it, trying to shake the praise off his back. 
“Well I know ‘bout that.” You shrug back, “I’m actually kind of a genius, when it comes to knowing who’s good and who’s not.”
“I don’t doubt that.” Carmy hums, and the sound is sweet without reservations. “...Painting is very good.” He nods to himself, on repeat, like a bobblehead. “Or I guess it’s less a painting and more a buncha photo transfers?”
“Yeah.” You set the screwdriver aside on the desk. “Most of them I took.”
“They’re good. It’s—” He pauses, tongue against his teeth. “It’s nice to see evidence he kept up, or somethin’.”
You nod, seeing Carmen’s brain struggle to keep pace in real time. “We took that one I think the day we talked to Uncle Jimmy about The Bear? Had to print out articles as proof we could make it work— Or, that you could make it work, rather.”
Carmen sniffs, crossing his arms, hands in tight fists— Probably too tight— where they hide. “Yeah, kinda fuckin’ up my end of the bargain, hm?” The light laugh that follows is hollow.
“Eh. You both did.” You smile, though it’s hesitant. “ But at least you’re still here fixing it.”
Still here. Still fixing it. That is in essence, the piece. Carmen gets lost staring at the squares, so you speak as he does. “I was trying to like. I dunno, replicate your brain.” He can see it. The messy yet coherent, controlled yet chaos. The love. The grief. The progress. The home. You see him. He can see that you see him. 
“11k for butter,” Carm’s head doesn’t move but his eyes raise to you. “Is a week. More than a week.”
Ah. Carmen can see you too, see your thought process. The Ascaso, worth one of the worst weeks of Mikey’s life. The fucking butter. Worth more than a week of Mikey’s sobriety. 
All you can do is nod solemnly. “It is, yeah.” 
He nods back, tongue prodding his cheek. “That’s too much.”
“I’d agree.”
“I’ll switch to local.” You make it easy for him to fix his mistakes, by giving him the space to realize them. 
“I think that’s the right call.” You nod, smiling. After a moment, you reach for Carmen to uncross his arms, and when he does, you take his fist and uncurl it— Your hand is a very soothing balm to the spots where he dug his nails into his own hand.
“Loosen your grip, Carmy.”
And so, he does. With a laugh and a look to high heaven, he loosens his grip. Really loosens his grip. Well— Not completely, he’s not going to say that, but he will say something that is just nearly as difficult but not quite. He'll bite down a little. He’ll make the grooves, for now, until his grip is good enough.
“Come to dinner with us?”
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would you believe me if i said I had to rewrite a bit of this last scene because intially it went so rom-com and I was so disgusted when I reread it in the morning I had to stare at it in the subway ride to work like "what the fuck am I gonna do"
was this chapter good? God I hope so. I felt like with where we're going, it was kinda necessary to do Chip's onboard, set the stage for what work is like for her. I had to loosen my own grip with this one lmao. just allow myself to be a LITTLE messy. if it's bad, lie to me. tell me sweet little lies peach
DAD REVEAL THOUGH EH? MR CK!!! So much did happen this chapter. Chips on board! Squid Ink moving in together era commences! Christmas party!! Also. Would you believe me if I told you no shit syd was gonna move, she was planning it in S2, but I was planning this whole time for Ink to get evicted!! I want those fuckers to be roommates STAT!!!
anyways, i really hope i remembered to write down everyone that asked to be added to the taglist, i might've not. i'm very sorry if i didnt
oh also if you wanna be added!! send in your thoughts!! words for words baby, essay for essay cmonnn gimme ur character analysis!! (oh and also ask to be added, ofc)
@hoetel-manager , @fridavacado @sharkluver , @spectacular-skywalker , @silas-aeiou , @deadofnight0 , @sunbreathingstuff , @anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @blueaproncarmy @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101 @popcornpoppin @renaissance-painting @lostinwonderland314 @v0ctin @ashtonweon @mrs-perfectly-fine @thefreakingbear @anytim3youwant
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impishjesters · 1 year ago
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I have this idea floating around in my brain for a while about a reader who likes to draw and because they have a crush on Jax they draw him. Jax eventually steals their notebook and probably teases them about it lol.
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Jax x Crushing!Reader
warning(s): innuendos, bullying/teasing, Jax note(s): Look it's me and Jax, there's gonna be innuendos or some spicy wording and bullying. It's like a packaged deal or something. A/N: If you see me mixing Angel Dust's speech into Jax, no you didn't. If you didn't notice, I don't know how to tease and not be an asshole, so pretty on the brand I guess.
Caine had given you a sketchbook upon request, it was a little different than an actual sketchbook but it did the job regardless. Ever since your arrival, your fingers have been itching to draw, there were so many new sights and so much new inspiration.
There were so many things, so why did it seem like the doodles of Jax ended up on almost every page?
Easy, you had a crush on the apathetic, mischievous jerk named Jax.
Why? Well, now that’s the million-dollar question. He’s not inherently awful, no, that’s a lie, he’s an asshole. You don’t really have a good read on him yet but he’s funny! That’s gotta be redeemable, right? However, his jokes are usually backhanded and often involve being mean at the expense of others.
Okay so he’s a walking red flag but there’s something about him that has you crushing on the purple bastard.
Looking down at the sketchbook on your lap shows another two pages filled with sketches of random things, though most of the page is filled with Jax. You had taken to sketching things back in the real world to remind yourself of home, but eventually, those sketches would involve Jax doing mundane things.
Thing’s like sitting at a table eating real food, though you took creative measures when drawing an open mouth on him, it still looked off but it was serene and domestic. Then there’s the little sketch at the bottom of the page of Jax leaning against a window and staring outside. You’d manage to nab the pose and angle when he was leaning against one of the many random geometrical-shaped things in the main room and later added in a window.
It was embarrassing that almost more than half of the pages in the book involved Jax to some degree. Some pages weren’t even subtle, the whole page taking up a detailed portrait version of the male. Sometimes you even got creative and put him in different clothing.
Thumbing through the pages you saw there weren’t that many empty pages left. You’d need to ask Caine for another one and figure out what to do with this one. It couldn’t be left out in the open, you knew Jax had keys to everyone’s room and wouldn’t put it past him to go snooping. He’d already questioned you about the sketchbook before.
You’d been so focused on the sketchbook that you hadn’t noticed the man of the hour walking up. Jax noticed your intense focus and peeked over to see the infamous sketchbook on your lap, and with practiced ease managed to yoink it right off your lap.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here? You finally showing me what you keep your nose buried into?”
A yelp left you, stumbling to get on your feet you rushed to him and began swatting at the book and of course, he’d keep raising it just out of reach. “You took it! I didn’t say you could look at that!”
“Nah, pretty sure you said I could look at it.” He continued to lower and raise the book as you jumped to grab it. Sure he was curious before, but with a reaction like that? How could he not be even more curious? What kind of seedy shit were you drawing? Or perhaps some spicy nonfamily-friendly content?
Jax ignored your frantic words and opened the book to a random page, he was going to tease you about whatever dumb stuff you drew since you always had your nose in it but all he saw were sketches of himself.
A normal person might get embarrassed and hand the book back, but he’s not a normal person. It’s a little freaky, he won’t lie. A glance downwards shows him you’ve gone silent in front of him, simply staring down while he invades the privacy that was your sketchbook.
Your face is red and you look like you’re going to cry any second.
He’s a jerk, he was going to fuck with you, and he still is, but for the moment he’s taking in all the creative little pieces involving his face. Ya know, he never really thought much about how he’d look in other clothes. Gotta say he looks pretty snazzy in something that isn’t these shitty overalls.
“You know if I didn’t know any better,” his fingers still flip through the pages as he steps closer, circling you. “I’d say you like me.”
“I don’t.”
The reply is rushed and he rolls his eyes at the blatant lie, he’ll humor you this time. “Oh yeah? Does that mean you’ve got sketchbooks for everyone else too? Cause I’m pretty sure this is the only one I’ve seen you with.” He taps a doodle on the cover that gives away it’s the same notebook he always sees you with.
Tears trickled down your cheeks, you knew he was a jerk but this felt like too much. You just wanted your sketchbook back and to run away to your room, maybe pin something in front of the door that would render even the key useless.
His eyes roll the second he sees a tear, he’s not really seeing the problem here. You’ve got a book full of creepy—okay not completely creepy, he’s a good model so good on you for seeing that—sketches of him and he’s truthfully honored. It’s clear that you didn’t do this with everyone, so he’s honored to be your little model. Besides, it’s not like you actually have a crush on him, right?
Minutes tick by of him simply eyeing you, you’re still crying and it’s starting to get a little ugly and snotty, ugh. But you aren’t trying to further deny his little comment about you liking him. He’ll have to have a little talk about that later, what you could possibly see in him because he knows that you aren’t a sadist—oh, are you a masochist? That’d explain a lot.
Jax sighs and closes the book but doesn’t hand it over, simply putting the free hand on his hip. “You know if you wanted to see my face all you gotta do is ask. I’ll gladly show you this handsome face any day toots.”
Of all the things you thought he’d say, that wasn’t it. “H-huh..?” You embarrassingly wipe away the tears and snot before looking up at him.
“You heard me. Ya know I love this face too, very handsome. Maybe we can get Caine to put up some artwork in the tent of yours truly.” Jax wouldn’t consider himself vain, but you did have a way of making him look more, dare he say, attractive.
“I-I don’t… I don’t understand…” Was he still making fun of you?
He rolls his eyes before playfully hitting your head with the book. “Jeez, and here I thought you were smart.” Jax leaned over like he was speaking to a child and pushed the book to your chest. “I’m saying, the next time you wanna draw me I’ll give you a front-row seat. Maybe even take it to the bedroom so we won’t be disturbed.”
You push the book into his face to cover up that growing smirk and blush furiously. “Wh-what?! N-no I-I don’t…!” It’s hard to tell if he’s being serious or not in his offer to model for you, especially with the bedroom comment.
“C’mon, clearly you got taste. I mean that book is filled with sketches of me. I’ll commend you on your immaculate taste.” Jax taps the book before playfully bopping your nose. “At least let me give you the pleasure of seeing me close up. I’ve never been a model before so you might have to get a little hands-on to get me the way you want me.”
As the innuendos continue your face feels like it’s getting impossibly red and warm. Somehow this is worse than him telling you a sketchbook full of his face is creepy, in fact, you’d almost prefer it because your poor little heart can’t take anymore. You let out a yell and it stops his tangent but that stupid smirk of his never disappears.
“Offer still stands. You know where to find me.” Jax turns away but not before throwing a little wink over his shoulder. He still plans on pestering you about what you see in him, but for now, he’ll cut you some slack. You’re about as red as Ragatha’s hair and as much as he loves to see it, he didn’t plan to get this sidetracked when he saw you on your own.
He’s got a sucker to prank.
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sommerbueckers · 5 months ago
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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬³
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MYLA HAD JUST FINISHED putting the last of her blueberries on her toast when her phone rang, the rhythmic sound cutting through the comfortable silence of her apartment. With a newfound pep in her once idle step, she rummaged around the countertop until she found the device hidden under a dishrag.
Paige's name was displayed in bold letters at the top of the screen, Myla's shocked face in the camera below. A FaceTime call this early in the morning? Either Paige had gotten started early or she woke up feeling like Beyonce. Myla, on the other hand, was neither. She ran her fingers over her puffy lips, grumbling at the way the bags under her eyes were more noticeable than usual.
Releasing a defeated sigh, she swiped right and waited as Paige's face appeared on the screen. Her hair was in a low slicked bun and she was clad in a red and navy 'UCONN Basketball' shirt.
"Hey stranger," Myla beamed brightly.
"I'm the stranger?" the blonde quirked an eyebrow.
"What does that mean?"
"Oh nothing," she shrugged, "just might've been waitin' for a call or somethin' ion know."
Myla grabbed her plate and her phone and sat down in a chair on her balcony. She took a sip from the coffee she had previously placed out there, hiding her cheeky smile from the other girl.
It had been four days since the girls had been together, but to Paige it felt like years. She couldn't even fathom how she had done it before, completely neglected the existence of someone who could only be described as heaven-sent that is. Not a day had gone by since that wonderful Wednesday night where they didn't talk, both girls managing to find time in their busy schedules for each other.
"Well I didn't wanna be annoying," the older girl defended gently, shrugging her shoulders. She set the phone up against a pillow in front of her and placed the plate in her lap.
"How would you be annoying?"
"Like calling you too much or just like...y'know being clingy."
Paige placed her palm against her forehead, releasing a breathy laugh.
"Being clingy isn't annoying when it's from the right person," she spoke matter-of-factly. She leaned back in the seat of her car, smiling at the way Myla had shyly ducked out of view. "What're you doin' today?"
"I have a photoshoot at one, so that's probably gonna take up a couple hours of my afternoon. And then I wanted Rox to try her first pup cup today, so we're gonna do that. But, that's it."
"Awe, my lil Roxie baby. Where is she?"
"Your 'Roxie baby'? You've never even met her, and I think she's in her bed."
"I don't have to meet her to love her, we jus' got a special connection," Paige explained simply.
"You have a special connection with my dog?" Myla questioned.
"Yeah, I do."
"Close, I think that's called bestiality."
"Oh you're sooo blocked," the blonde scoffed.
Playfully rolling her eyes, Myla took another bite of her toast.
"What're you eating?"
"Toast with greek yogurt and blueberries."
Paige cringed, "Yeah that's that model diet, greek yogurt is fucking insane."
"Noo, no you jus' gotta let it grow on you. Once you get used to the taste it's really not that bad," Myla argued, but the blonde wasn't having it.
"Nah i'm so good. I'll stick to my Yoplait and my strawberries with sugar sprinkled on top," Paige laughed, "Remind me to bring a snack bag when I come to stay with you."
Myla wanted to laugh at Paige's comment, strawberries with sugar sounded absolutely amazing and she would've loved to try it. She wanted to sit on the balcony and cuddle Roxie while Paige busied herself in her kitchen, fixing them a bowl of strawberries with sugar. She wanted to revel in the faint buzz of New York City and the soft summer breeze that ran by whilst she and Paige made small talk, a bowl of strawberries with sugar between them.
The thought of that actually happening, of her waking up with Paige in the same apartment as her made her unwillingly fall silent. It scared her if she was being honest. She had waited so long for a moment like this, to feel as close and connected to Paige as she felt right now. But giving herself to someone who had overlooked her in that way for so long, she couldn't help but fear it would come back to bite her in the ass. Noticing her sudden quietness, Paige spoke up.
"You okay?"
Myla perked up, "Yeah, all good. I was just trying to decide what to wear to my shoot. 'Cus i'm gonna keep that on when I take Roxie out after."
"Really? You get a chance to talk to me and you're thinkin' about clothes instead?" Paige narrowed her eyes.
"Stop! I'm sorry," the model laughed, "you have my attention now, I promise."
"Hm, have you taken her to Central Park?"
Myla shook her head.
"Don't do it yet, do it like -- next weekend," Paige suggested.
"Why next weekend?"
"Well I heard the weather is supposed to be nice up there. Hot, sunny...blonde."
Myla let her jaw drop to the floor and she let out a string of nervous laughter. "Are you coming to see me?" she not so subtly squealed.
"I guess we'll see," Paige shrugged, though her own excitement was even more intense than the other girl's.
"Okay, keepin' me on my toes I see."
"You know it. I gotta go though, I got a workout so..." she pursed her lips out, "i'll see you later?"
"Yes, i'll call you tonight."
"That's what I like to hear."
"Mhm, bye Paige."
"See you later, Myla."
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mylamintz new photos coming soon ???
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short little chapter because i missed paige and myla and ik yall did too so i wanted to give u guys a lil smth
obviously i have my own ideas for where i want the story to go, but if there are things u guys wanna see happen in this story like dramaaaa plots or js little moments between our girls DO NOT be afraid to shoot me a message abt it
like i literally love when i see new things in my inbox
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sivyera · 4 months ago
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hi!! i loveee yr planet of the ape writings, blue eyes is literally my favorite!! but i was wondering if yu could do dating hcs for caesar?
thank yu so so sooo so much n i hope yu have a nice day/night!!
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dating caesar headcanons
planets of the apes caesar x human!reader
a/n: sorry for taking so long, haha! btw guys i'm trying to write all your requests, i was just little off motivation for the past few days, be patient with me... also i'm probably gonna rewrite the dating headcanons i have with Blue eyes, i wrote it like 2 years ago so i'm not satisfyed with it haha, hope you like it!
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Caesar is extremely protective of those he loves, you are the love of his life so you can only imagine how much protective he'd be over you. he'd literally kill for you (which happened already but we are not gonna talk about that...)
when it comes to pda tho, it's something else. he usually keeps you close to himself but he isn't really touchy, maybe when Koba is around because he doesn't like the way Koba looks at you. so when Koba is around, he usually holds your hands or towers behind you
Marice is actually the only one who saw Caesar act all soft with you, because when the doors are closet and the two of you are alone, he's a whole different monkey
he keeps his hand on your lower back or brushes his fingers gently over your thigh, giving you a soft kiss on the cheek.
he has a huge soft spot for you like it's not even funny. Koba (or any other monkey) wants to go to the right? Caesar goes to the left. You wanna go to the right? Caesar goes to the right. and i'm just starting..
he always leaves you the best fruit or the nicest meat or the clearest water, he wants the best nutritions for you since you're much weaker than a monkey
he overall takes a very good care of you. he always makes sure you get enough and proper sleep, that you eat the best food, that you move through the day, etc..
he likes to watch you when you interact with the infants (baby monkeys) because they are always in awe when they see you and it's just so cute to him. see all those monkeys over you with their small hands touching your hair or fingers or ears, they love you and Caesar loves watching your smile
he usually keeps an eye on you through the day, even if he isn't near you, you can feel him and if anything happens, he's immediately by your side
i believe he doesn't sleep so good, he has a hard time falling asleep plus he's a very light sleeper so if you get him to fall asleep for at least few hours, consider yourself a magician
but even tho his sleeping is not so good, he loves to hold you. your presence actually calm him down so even if he's not sleeping, he's resting BUT he has to have you in his arms
when you're sleeping peacefully in his arms, he likes to watch you (it's like a habit already to him). he'd let his finger gently trace the outline of your earlobe while the moonlight shines on your pretty face and the only thing he listens is your steady heartbeat and soft breaths. he swears you're an angel...
he's very gentle with you overall, he knows how strong he actually is so whenever he's interacting with you, he's careful and gentle...
he lets himself be curious about you sometimes and even tho he lived with the humans and he knows them, you're different. you're his girl so he can touch you much more than he could touch Will
he'd explore your fingers, ears, hair, toes, everything and you swear that inside he's still a curious baby (only with you tho, no one else can see this side of him)
you teach him more words and he tries twice as hard with talking because he wants to communicate with you more, but sometimes he pretends like he can't understand just so he can hear your sweet voice
you're the only one that matters the most to him and he's able to start a war just to have you safe... and he's the peaceful guy
when he's not around, he let's Maurice to watch over you
whenever you make him something (like a bracelet or a necklace) he wears it all the time and refuses to take it off but there are times when that thing rips (because he was hunting and ripped it off by accident) and when that happens, he goes to you and tell you to make a new one. he doesn't want you to think that he doesn't value it...
no one dares to pick up on you, no one dares to touch you more than friendly, no one dares to flirt with you because Caesar is always behind you with his cold stare. so if any young males would try to hit on you, they'd quickly give up after they see their leader killing them with his stare
Koba of course isn't a fan of you since you're a human but he respects Caesar (till he don't) so till he lives with others in the colony, he tolerates you
Caesar tries to keep you away from any danger as long as possible but once again something happens, you're the first thing on his mind and he HAS to have you in safety
if he lost you, he'd go feral, literally. he'd kill every human on this planet even tho he's knew that it wouldn't bring you back...
sometimes his love for you scares him, because he was never this much in love but he loves every second of it
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reluctantvnnerd · 5 months ago
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All the better to hear you with my dear
“Ais! Ais, you have to help me,” you say, wobbling up to Ais at the Wet Wick. You’ve had just a smidge too much gin, but you’re only tipsy, not drunk. Or at least that’s what you’re telling yourself.
Ais smirks down at you, and it’s amazing how many smirks the demon has. This one says “you’re kind of like a puppy who pisses on the carpet, but you’re cute and this could be hilarious.” Ais’ face is very eloquent.
“Can’t wait to hear what’s been trying to eat you this time,” he says, laughter in his voice.
“Nothing!” you exclaim indignantly. Then you have to pause, trying to remember if anything or anyone has attempted to eat you today. Probably nothing or Mhin would be around somewhere glaring at you. “Yeah, nothing!”
Ais shakes his head. “Alright Sparrow, get to the point.”
You nod, and intend to take a seat on the stool next to Ais, but the stool wobbles and you decide you don’t want to sit down anyway.
“You have to keep me away from Vere,” you tell him solemnly.
Ais’ smirk grows. “Keep you away from Vere? Not the other way around?”
“No, it has to be me away from him. Because I want to do something, and he’ll kill me if I do.”
“Gotta hear this one,” he tells you with a laugh. Ais pulls a cigarette from inside his… shirt? Is it a shirt? Why does a shirt need so many belts? Between these five assholes there’s probably not a belt left in Eridia. Half the city probably can’t keep their pants on. Wait…
“Sparrow?” You feel Ais’ hands on your arms, and the contact makes you jump. You realize you’re kind of listing to starboard, and he’s holding you up. Aww, nice demon!
“Can you keep a secret?” you ask, trying to be quiet, but also be heard over the cacophony of the Wet Wick.
“Sure I can,” he says, shifting you back upright. Somehow he’s managed to get his cigarette in his mouth and lit while you were thinking about belts. “Maybe I even will.”
You shoo away that last part with a bandaged hand, and then narrow your eyes and lean in a little. Well a lot actually. It isn’t intentional, but your head feels really heavy and it kind of leads the way. Ais catches you again, snickering.
“I want,” you start to say. You think better of it and lower your voice so someone can’t hear you. “Ais, I want to touch his ears.”
This time instead of smirking, Ais gives you a grin of unholy glee, fangs flashing. Why do monsters get cool teeth and fluffy ears and all you have are shitty mummy hands?
“Yeah?” he asks, chuckling. “I can understand that.”
“They look so soft!” you exclaim. “So fluffy! Why are they so fluffy? I want to pet them and smoosh them down and nuzzle them with my face so I know what they feel like.”
You look down at your bandaged hands and make a face.
“Stupid hands,” you grumble, your volume diminishing with unhappiness.
“Aw, don’t be sad Sparrow,” Ais says, patting you affectionately on the head like you’re one of his pets. You consider the fact that if you drink from the spring you kind of would be like Ais’ pet. You could hang out with Princess… Alright no, you are way too drunk to be thinking about groupminds.
“So you have to help me. I don’t want him to kill me. Or eat my face.” You pause to consider something. “Actually, I’d probably let him bite my hand off, that would be ok.”
Ais snorts.
“Yeah, I think we’ll just keep you from being Vere-chow,” narrowing his bright red eyes, he looks down at you and purses his lips. “Wanna know a secret?”
Your eyes widen with excitement and you clutch the front of his… outfit. “Yes!”
Ais leans down until his mouth is next to your ear. His breath tickles and you choke back a drunken giggle.
“If you scratch behind his ears he purrs.”
Your eyes go wide, and you stare at him when he stands back up to his full height. “Ais! Why did you tell me that! That doesn’t help!”
Ais laughs loudly. “Never said I was gonna, did I?”
“Asshole!” you gasp angrily.
Still laughing, he pulls your hands away from his clothes, careful of your bandages. You’re still scowling when Leander wanders over to look at the two of you inquiringly.
“Ais is being a dick,” you complain, feeling vaguely betrayed, but also unsurprised, and kind of amused.
“Isn’t he always?” Leander asks with a laugh. Well, you suppose he has a point.
Ais just shrugs, not bothering to deny it. Instead he pushes you gently toward Leander, who suddenly realizes how unstable you are and catches you with a surprised noise.
“Whoa there,” Leander says, putting his hands on your shoulders when you sort of face plant between his boobs. “Why don’t we get you some water?”
“Ok, but don’t make it chewy,” you mutter against his chest. “I don’t like chewy drinks.”
“You ever had one?” Ais asks, laugher in his voice.
“Can’t remember,” you say, with another dismissive wave of your hand. Then you lift your head from Leander’s pillowy bosom to scowl at Ais and shake your finger menacingly at him. “Remember, no ears!”
“Definitely time for that water,” Leander says, sounding both confused and a little concerned. “Then maybe you should call it a night.”
“Too late,” Ais says, taking a drag on his forgotten cigarette. He slaps Leander on the back harder than he needs to, but not too hard since you’ve managed to pass out while leaning against the leader of the Bloodhounds. “I’ll leave you to it. Gotta talk to Vere.”
Leander looks at Ais dubiously, but rather than arguing, he picks you up and starts making his way through the crowd toward the stairs.
“So fluffy,” you murmur against his chest.
Leander really isn’t sure what to make of that, so he ignores it in favor of climbing the stairs. He can always ask you in the morning… assuming you remember.
+++++
The next day you wake with a headache so terrible that the curse of madness pales in comparison. Your mouth tastes the way you imagine soulless shit might taste, and you smell just as bad. It’s got to be nearly 3 pm, and you’re starting to think living in a tavern might have been your greatest mistake so far, and you’ve made a lot of mistakes.
Once you’re bathed and dressed you head downstairs to be accosted by a painfully cheerful Leander. Despite your angry hissing at his cheer, he takes advantage of your headache to convince you to test some vile concoction he's created. He swears it cures hangovers, but honestly you just want it to cure his cheerfulness.
At first you’re certain that it cures hangovers by killing the drinker by flavor alone. But to your surprise the headache and nausea begin to recede after only a few minutes. You still don’t forgive him for being cheerful in your general direction though.
It takes work to convince yourself to go outside, but after the nausea subsides, hunger rears its head and demands you go find food. Since your single taste of nut leather was enough to convince you never to repeat the experience, you decide to go looking for something that might at least resemble food.
You make your way cautiously through the maze-like streets of the Amaryllis district toward Lowtown and the vendor with the long lads. You've just caught sight of him and are raising your hand to wave when someone grabs you by the back of the neck and hauls you bodily into a dark alley, half choking you in the process. Your assailant pushes you back against the wall with a force that rattles your teeth. Your surprised scream turns into a startled squeak when you realize your assailant is Vere.
“Vere, wha-”
“Shut up.”
You shut up, swallowing down your returning nausea. This is becoming a very unnerving habit of Vere's. He's got his hands wrapped around your biceps and his body is very, very close. Close enough it's getting hard to think. He's giving you a half lidded look that you can't read but also can't look away from. His pupils are normal at least, which probably increases your chance of survival.
When you see his face coming toward you, you have no idea what's going on. You brace yourself for violence, or perhaps another deeply useless piece of “free” information. Possibly even a kiss, though that might be wishful thinking.
You close your eyes lest you show any of your weird emotional turmoil in them. Instead of any of those options you feel the brush of something warm, silky soft and… furry? against your cheek. You can’t quite figure out what you’re experiencing so you dare to open your eyes. You find yourself presented with a fall of deep red hair as Vere rubs one of his tufted ears against your cheek.
“Oh gods,” you whimper. The touch is so soft, easily the softest thing you’ve ever felt. The skin of his ear is much warmer than yours, adding an extra note of sensory input to this already overwhelming experience. His silky hair brushes your lips and that’s almost more distracting than the ears.
But Vere isn’t done. He grabs your bandaged hand and guides it to his other ear, and even though you can’t feel the texture of his fur and skin, you can feel the warmth and how delicate and pliable his ear is. You finally get the courage to “smoosh” one of Vere’s ears, cupping it gently and pressing it forward into his hair, enjoying how pliable it is. You think for the barest fraction of a second that you hear purring, but you can't be sure.
When he pulls back a moment later his pupils are very wide and he gives you a poisonously sweet smile.
“If you tell anyone this happened, I will rip your throat out and use your windpipe as a whistle.“
“Not a soul,” you promise, nodding vigorously. “Though truthfully I don’t think anyone would believe me. I’m not sure I believe me.”
Vere lets out a laugh that for once isn’t tinged with menace.
“Goodbye little bird,” he says warmly.
Then his face is right next to yours again, hair brushing your flushed and sweaty cheek. The next thing you know, sharp teeth are digging into your neck and biting down hard. It’s definitely not the bite of a lover, far from it. It’s shockingly painful, though thankfully over quickly. You give a whine of shock and pain as you bleed sluggishly into your cloak.
“Remember what I told you, Sparrow.” Vere warns, licking his lips as he saunters away, tail swaying lazily behind him.
When you can manage to think again you make a mental note to thank Ais and also to kick him in the shin at the earliest opportunity.
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k0yaz · 5 months ago
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hi there ! i’ve never requested anyone before but i saw that you like taking wlw requests so i caved 😭
as a hi3 player my raiden mei obsession has extended to acheron, and i’d love to see some general dating hcs. maybe what her preferences are (even sexual preferences huhuhrheheheh), how she shows love and affection, or whatever you feel like adding!
i have a severe acheron addiction so if you suddenly get an influx of acheron asks it’s probably me 😇
acheron general dating hcs
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Pairings: acheron x fem!reader
CW: sfw and nsfw, female reader, afab reader, nsfw below the second cut, one hc is angst, strap on mention, cunnilingus, face sitting, praise kink, slight mention of degradation, bondage, romantic sex, fingering, biting, slicey slicey white hair acheron yay (both in a kinky way and in a scary way), um I love tea :3
A/N: GIRL ME TOOO IM SO OBSESSED WITH ACHERON ITS ACTUALLY WILD SHES ACTUALLY MY FAV HSR CHARACTER I LOEV THIS WOMAN SM ALSO PLEASE REQUEST ACHERON I AM ENCOURAGING THIS SO HARD REQUEST A ONESHOT IF YOU CAN IM GONNA EAT THE WALL anyway sorry for that I just love acheron a little too much <3 🕯️
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I’m just gonna be completely honest Acheron is such a sweetheart when you’re dating her.
She shows affection in the most random ways it’s genuinely adorable- like she’ll buy you a random piece of food from Penacony’s golden hour or something or hug you from behind while resting her chin on your shoulder with a soft hum.
Really enjoys it when you kiss her face all over, it makes her feel loved and special.
That being said I feel like she’d be a fan of the lipstick trend too.
I feel like she’d enjoy recording things on her phone instead of yours. Like whenever you guys take a selfie or record a memory, she always pulls her phone out before you can get yours. Probably cause she’ll remember them if they’re on her phone.
No worries she still forwards them to you <3
Acheron absolutely loves it when you sit in her lap or snake yourself under her arm while leaning against her side to cuddle. She’d always wrap her arm around you with a soft smile and pull you close against her.
Whenever you two are on dates, and she gets up to use the restroom, she frequently forgets where she’s going or loses her way to it. So often times, you usually tail her as a companion because she ends up doing a whole side quest lmao-
Not very talkative in your relationship, but shows her affection when she usually just stays calm and prefers to hold you in silence, leaning against your chest to remind herself that you’re here with her whenever she hears your hearbeat.
Completely random but she probably somehow accidentally caught a fish and brought it home to you. To which you just raised an eyebrow out of disappointment and confusion, but it’s ok because it’s Acheron and you love her. <3
She may not show it, but she gets really happy when you buy her peaches or something peach flavored, since it’s one of the few things she can taste :( [the way I started violently sobbing after writing this bullet]
One time when she accidentally showed you her slicey slicey form you ended up being a little terrified, and she feels awful for it. She tried so hard to make it up to you, literally bought you anything she wanted, showered you with kisses, took you out on a romantic date, almost everything.
Sometimes you have to tell Acheron to loosen her grip, since when you two sleep she hugs you WAY too tight. Like, this woman can accidentally kill someone out of affection.
she’s like a cat with a resting bitch face, but is really sweet tbh…or maybe I just love cats too much.
Smells like peaches and rainwater and you can’t change my mind, maybe a hint of cherry blossom perfume :)
Someone get her google maps I love her sm
nsfw below the cut.
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Contrary to what everyone says—Acheron is NOT a top in my opinion. She’s a switch. A MASSIVE FUCKING SWITCH ‼️
Her strap game go crazy though trust
Nothing more this woman loves than digging her fingers into your thighs and parting them to eat you out like you were her last meal she would have in centuries. <3
I feel like she’d love face sitting, giving or receiving.
Screamer? Nah she groans and it sounds unbelievably hot. Like-?
A lot of people believe that she’s into degrading BUT I DONT THINK SO AHAHA I feel like she prefers praise, since she doesn’t like the idea of degrading you and making you seem like you’re less than her :(
Even if you’re into that, it takes a lot to convince her that you really want to and even then she’s super hesitant and barely even tries to degrade you. Probably switches back to praise midway since she can’t shit talk you at all. She’s too sweet for that.
Seriously into romantic sex over kinky sex, but isn’t afraid to throw in some crazy kinks every once in a while, bondage being one of her favorites.
Acheron would absolutely love it when you whisper how much you love her into her ear, and whine out how you don’t want her to leave. It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy as she reassures you she’s yours forever, and how you’re hers.
You whisper that stuff while she’s topping? Great, your legs aren’t gonna work tomorrow as she’s buried in your cunt and your moans are muffled by her lips smashed against yours. When she’s bottoming? Congrats, you made her even wetter as she’s trying to bite her lip to control the filthy groans from her throat and grinding down against your fingers or strap.
Biter. Like hold her as close as you can and she’ll bite down onto you HARD. Still licks the area in case it hurts though. Along with that, she loves it when you bite her back—she just thinks they look pretty.
I feel she’s ripped your clothing off on multiple occasions. Especially when she’s in her other form and wants to have sex with you. Afterwards or before, she apologizes and promises to buy you a brand new one.
Speaking of which she has DEFINITELY fucked you real good when she goes white hair and slicey slicey
She adores the idea of just towering over you with her hands planted beside your head, bonus points if she gets to hold your hands.
Her aftercare is immaculate mwah
Constantly checks up on you and showers you with praise and kisses wawawawawa while helping you clean up, and probably puts on a movie or something while cuddling up to you.
If you’re the one giving aftercare please hug her as tight as possible and reassure her she did good, just hold her hand with your fingers laced between hers as you promise against her skin that you’ll stay with her. Literally do it or else I’m going to eat your cupcakes omg
Falls asleep in your arms 3 out of 4 times everytime you guys have sex late at night.
I’m too gay for her it’s not even funny anymore atp
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A/N: ONE, I KNEW I HAD TO WORK ON THIS AS SOON AS I SAW IT EVEN THOUGH ITS 2 AM AND I SHOULD BE ASLEEP. AND TWO, IF SOMEONE ASKS “well why is it so long 🥺🥺” BECAUSE I LOVE ACHERON SHUSH
anon I’m encouraging this behavior please request me more acheron and acheron oneshots I’m begging u I’m totally normal about her
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