#...and there are real ramifications to your actions! this is like... real life and like... real people

[uncanny-tranny]

Periodic reminder that unless a person specifically and clearly tells you it is okay to tell others they are trans or queer, you should err on the side of caution and assume they do not want you to tell people (especially random people!) about their transness or queerness.

You have no idea, generally, why somebody doesn't talk openly about their trans or queer status, and you have no idea, truly, how somebody might react to that information. The most progressive person out there is still capable of harbouring incredibly negative thoughts about somebody's queer status.

[erb23]

Learning how to teleport so I can go to every restaurant that gives free birthday desserts to compare them all at once.

[schakira]

(Unedited Version, Patch 0, May 14th 2024)

Approval Ratings — You now get to intimately know when your entourage approves or disapproves of your choices. You get to accurately see how you fair within their approval ratings.

Info tips — Every now and then, a little window in your field of vision shares crucial tidbits of information to you. Very situational, but always helpful.

Field of View — When crouching, you can you see exactly where people are looking, and you can also tell if people have detected you, whether or not you can see them. (This includes cameras, animals...)

Model Equipment — Once per week, you can declare one outfit; this outfit will remain clean, temperate, and comfortable for the rest of the week, but you will not be able to take it off. You will not be getting dirty or sweating, if that's a concern. You will remain clean, and in a stasis appearance-wise, for 1 week at a time.

Check / Examine — You can check people and get a detailed description of who they are, their strength, their health, their life's story.

Turn-Based Action — Once per day, you can force people and objects to abide by the rules of turn-based encounters. Stuck at an intersection between cars? Turn-Based. Someone keeps cutting you off when you talk? Turn-Based. Not even I know the true ramifications of this.

Emote — Observe movements done by someone; you can set them as emotes. Maximum of 60 emotes. Emoting does not tire you, or exhaust you. You can delete and replace emotes. (The exhaustion can be interpreted however you want.)

Fishing — Fishing, now turned into a mini-game. You'll always catch something within a few seconds!

3rd person view — You can now toggle your vision between 1st person and 3rd person view, and navigate the world like so whenever you want.

Quick Grab — You can quickly grab and acquire anything within arm's reach, in the blink of an eye.

Menus, settings — Change the video, sound, and control settings of your brain's sensory inputs.

Subtitles — You can toggle subtitles on or off. Can not translate.

[dragonfoxandfound]

It's ok to call the Ember Island kiss sexual assault.

You just hate Aang!

But Aang didn't mean it, he's only 12!

First of all, Aang isn't real, stop acting like fans are out here persecuting your little brother or cousin. There are no real world ramifications for him by stating this.

Second, yes, Aang was only 12 but Mike and Bryan were not. They were two full grown adults who made the creative decision to have Aang force a kiss on another character. They knew that kiss was wrong and we as the audience were supposed to see that it was wrong. The 8 year old girls and boys who that scene was made for were supposed to understand that what Aang did was wrong. They were supposed to understand that were this ever to happen to them, at any age - and look at the SA statistics for women, for a majority of those girls it sadly will - that what was done to them was wrong and - just like Katara who was upset and left the situation - they didn't need to be ok with it. 

No one should be making excuses for Aang here because not being ok was the point. Like Katara, we the audience were supposed to be uncomfortable with his actions. We can absolutely understand how youth and confusion at one's own feelings played into what he did but understanding why someone did something doesn't remove fault. And in constantly explaining away Aang's actions with these excuses, how Katara was affected by Aang's actions gets minimized - something that happens in real life much too often. 

In fact how Katara was affected is almost never explored, the conversation almost always centers on Aang and how 'he didn’t mean it' or even worse how 'it wasn’t a big deal'. Meanwhile anyone who knows the horrible feeling of having affections forced on you knows it very much is a big deal.

Aang did something wrong here, he is a fallible character, he's suppose to screw up because there is a story and lessons that come with those screw ups. It doesn’t make him the devil and calling out his behavior isn't making him out to be the devil either. Your love of a character should absolutely be able to coexist with the understanding that, that character has done something wrong and that they should be held accountable for it - even if the creators didn't.

[olderthannetfic]

Unpopular?

But I do think that some people are wilfully obtuse when it comes to the general idea of "No politics in fandom."

In my experience with fellow fandom people it has NEVER meant "Not allowed to talk about being queer, disabled etc." That would be a COMPLETELY different crowd. It's very obvious when it's said from a POV of "I just want to have a good time." versus "I fucking hate minorities!!!"

When I and most people on "our" side of fandom say it, it's often like "Stop calling people who like the #problematique character a fascist or saying someone should be shot for having age gap ships." or "Stop comparing fucking fandom discourse to real world political struggles." Example being ship discourse, where people compare liking fictional characters or ships to endorsing real life actions and criminals. Oh you like this character from a game about political struggles? I'll now pretend that your fictional interests means you support this IRL. Vice versa also counts, comparing real world problems to fandom discourse. One example of that one was back when the HP craze was big b4 JK TERF Rowling and people were completely unable to put political issues into perspective without using "It's like Harry fighting Voldemort!!" No it isn't, one is a children's book, the other one is the real world.

Fandoms with political themes aren't always the same as the real politics. Yes there's an overlap, and there can be a certain type of awareness, but there's a way to have that work that doesn't revolve around viewing fandom and real life as a 1:1 conversion.

I've also seen people use the dishonest argument that you're privileged if you don't "constantly" think about politics, which becomes extra dumb when it's aimed at a marginalized person. The real privilege my dude, is being able to have so much time and resources to be put into never getting any downtime from politics. Not to mention the absolute burnout and mental health ramifications.

No, being able to create a divide between your hobbies and fandom life, especially as an escapist move, and the political bullshit of reality with all it's pitfalls and hopelessness, is not the same as wanting millions of marginalized people to be shot and thrown in a ditch.

--

Both things are common online. I don't spend enough time on such-and-such a part of TikTok to know which one is more prevalent in which space.

[justpoliteconversations]

Breakdown [Isekai!Reader + (Legend x Marin)] (Part 3)

Everything has a price, and you're about to be reminded of that.

The indulgence is real.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise. Linked Universe is the fan creation of jojo56830.

---

Nothing in life is free. Money, time, sweat, blood, tears, everything costs something. Equivalent exchange, as it were, though the rates of such things are not for mortals to decide.

Sitting across from Time, propped upright only by the assistance of multiple pillows at your back and neck, you were learning the cost of bringing a dream to life.

Fat. Skin. Flesh.

Looking down at the hands folded on your lap, it didn't seem real. They didn't look like your hands. Just days ago, you were hale and healthy. Fit even, after having spent months traveling with an enforced all natural diet.

But now, stripped of fat and flesh, patches of new and raw skin healing in discolored stripes, the weight of the consequences was coming down on your thin (too thin) shoulders. Looking into Time's eye, you could see the veiled grief, the quiet acknowledgement of loss.

You didn't like it. He didn't deserve to shoulder this burden you'd brought into the world. It wasn't his to bear and he damned well wasn't going to take responsibility where it isn't due.

You needed him to let you see Marin. But for that to happen, he needed to feel secure in your soundness of will. He needed to understand that just because you took responsibility for your actions, did not make you a damned martyr. You weren't them. You weren't his boys.

You weren't him. And Marin was not his problem. The ramifications of her existence was yours.

"I'd do it again." You said, keeping eye contact with the man, willing him to hear, to see, the conviction in every part of you. "This is not your burden, Time. I made a choice, fully understanding that I did not know the cost. And I stand by it."

You wanted to grab his shoulders. To shake the sorrows of loss and heroism from his silent gaze. To take that great weight from his shoulders. A weight he seemed so willing to grow with each lash of the heart, like the god-damned self-sacrificing idiot he was made to be.

This world should have let him retire when he put that sword back to the stone. He'd already paid his dues. Twice over. Thrice. They all had. These selfless, courageous boys without a thread of self-preservation between the lot of them.

They will take no more burdens upon themselves, if you can help it.

Time held your gaze, seemingly unmoved but for the gradual easing of his shoulders. You pushed your advantage, sensing the weakening of his own resolve. "This was my choice. I made it willingly."

His eye shifted, searching for weakness in your own resolve. You were tempted to straighten your back and feign strength you didn't possess, but decided against it. This was not the time for false bravo.

But still, you refused to give an inch. "I don't regret it."

"You may never walk again." Time said mildly, trying to get a rise from you with his blase tone. To pull forth resentment that did not exist. Marin was not deserving of your wrath for this, and the one's who were were well out of reach.

You'd simply have to accept that. One day.

"That will make traveling difficult. I apologize for the inconvenience. I'll do my best to recover quickly." You said back just as mildly.

His brow twitched at the blatant jab, but he kept his cool admirably. "See that you do." He tilted his head, still searching. Prepared to push even more. "The others would be very upset if you had to stay behind."

"But not you?" You countered, redirecting the implications behind his words.

He didn't bite. "Wind misses you."

It was a low blow, and you were sure the unimpressed blink you leveled at the man was evident enough of your judgement. He didn't back down though, instead meeting your stare evenly with his one eye.

You smiled, pushing through it, determined still in the face of his stubbornness. "I'd imagine not as much as Marin." His face was carefully neutral, and you knew you had him cornered.

"No." He said, face falling into it's usual serious frown. Or, more accurately, his newest mask.

You frowned back, narrowing your eyes at him. "I'm within my rights to see the woman I dragged into this world. So, unless she told you otherwise I'd like to see her myself." You told him plainly, knowing his answer. It's been what Sky had told you, what Four had told you. You'd yet to corner Hyrule or Twilight yet, their sixth sense pinpointing your predatory interest before you could ambush them.

Damned survival instincts. You couldn't help but admire them, despite the inconvenience.

"The situation is complicated."

"Then uncomplicate it for me, Time. I can't just abandon her after what I did." You bulldozed through, knowing that this was the man you needed to convince. Not Sky, not Four, not any of them. Just this one.

His face went neutral again, and you wanted to soften, wanted to ease back and let the man just be. You couldn't though, even if it hurt you to pick at his own insecurities.

You didn't want to hurt him, but you'd prefer this old pain to settle upon his heart like a worn jacket then to allow this new ache to wear blisters into his skin. It was your burden. He didn't need another scar across his weary soul.

He closed his eye, leaned back heavily into the chair and sighed deeply. Progress. You were wearing him down, slowly but inevitably. He couldn't keep Marin and you apart forever, no matter how hard he tried. But, for him to concede would be for him to relinquish ownership of responsibility.

You needed him to let go.

Finally, he spoke. "When you pulled her through the portal, she was only half formed. You both were." You had- not known that. No one had had the heart to tell you, it seemed.

Your voice nearly trembled. "Marin-"

"She lives." He grit his teeth subtly, pushing forward with forced evenness. "Hyrule managed to stabilize her, and Sky used a fairy on you. Unfortunately, she could only do so much for such extensive damage."

You nod, glancing down at your rail thin arms laying crossed upon the blanket before looking back to Time's gaze. He had been looking too, eye brimming with compassion and frustration both.

"We initially tried to keep you together, as you both seemed to take comfort from each other's presence." His frown deepened. "However, we quickly realized that was infeasible. Whatever had been happening before you exited the portal progressed further after prolonged contact."

He leaned forward, narrowing his eye and you tightened your grip on the blanket with weakly shaking hands. You'd barely the strength to keep the bunched fabric between your fingers. The weight of his stare nearly made you falter, but you held his gaze.

"She began cannibalizing your body, to continue building her own. We moved her to another room shortly after. She's still unconscious, though stable at the moment."

Your heart dropped, the heavy weight of realization bearing down on you with harsh clarity. "That's why you've been keeping Legend away, and you're keeping Four, Sky and Twilight at my side." Your hands shook harder. Your heart squeezed in your chest like a cold vice. "It's why Hyrule's not allowed to be alone with me."

The dark look that settled on Time's expression said everything you need to know. A quiet admission of choice.

"Ah." You huffed, mirthless. Your heart was shaking. "I've caused you unnecessary conflict." You grit your teeth, and bowed you head. "I am sorry, Link. For the hurt I have caused you and the others."

Tears nearly fell from your eyes as emotion gripped you, but you held them in with steadfast resolve. This was not the time, nor the place. Especially not now.

The goal remains unchanged, but now the stakes are higher than ever. The consequences of failure unfathomable. You could not falter. You could not afford to lose this battle.

"I accept the consequences. I will fix what I have broken. Please, take me to her." You said, determination rising forth like fire in your eyes, your expression, your whole being. Overcome with purpose so powerful it boiled hot in your marrow. "Let me see them."

You could see the moment he broke.

He nodded, the weight of years on his shoulders. "Okay."

---

Time carried you through the halls of the house, arms strong and unmovable under your diminished form. Whose house this belonged to you couldn't say, but it felt safe and warm, colored walls and thick carpet ripe with the comforting feeling of home.

A flash of color stole your attention and you managed to catch a glimpse of curling brown and forest green before it disappeared around the corner. The absence of footsteps gave name to the elusive figure, and another piece of your heart crumbled.

Hyrule. Maintaining vigilance over you in the only way he could (that Time would allow). Torn between his need to help, and his loyalty to Legend. Too sweet to push, too pragmatic to yeild. Caught in the tragedy of sacrifice, the curse and blessing both of his blood.

You had so much to atone for. So much hurt to mend.

You turned your head, pressing the side of your face to Time's collarbone. You whispered. "I'll fix this, Link." Your hand fisted weakly into his shirt, trying to imbue the strength of your will into the contact. "Thank you for protecting me."

His arms tightened around you, the movement so miniscule it was barely the tensing of muscles against your thin body. But to you, it was a pact, the promise of protection of the highest degree. A vow made in the shedding of blood.

You realized once more, that you would never leave this world. These men. This bond that had finally looped it's chains around you, anchored itself into your soul.

Your fate was sealed the moment you shed blood for them.

No. From the moment Wind had curled his hands around your fingers to encase a rupee. From the moment Wild had left the bright firelight of their camp to bring you supper. From the moment Wolfie had curled beside you, shielding you from the icy wind as pride kept you from the warmth of shared company.

There truly was no going back. There never had been. Not for you. Not for them.

What a fool you'd been.

What a God-damned prideful fool. To think you wouldn't fall in love with these perfectly imperfect men. These bleeding hearts, these righteous idiots.

You tightened your jaw, closed your eyes and breathed.

'I'm sorry, Legend. I'll be there soon. I'll fix this. No matter what it takes. I promise.'

---

I return to the shadows once more.

[fappellmoan]

ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

[brucewaynehater101]

For the death loop power for Tim, what if instead of going 24 hours back they have to live in the timeline for 24 hours before going right back to when they killed him? That would mean people would face the consequences of their actions before it resets meaning there's less chances of death loops or people trying to see what sticks. That's something I really don't like about the time-travel style fics because alot of the times people don't see consequence? They just keep killing until they're tired or don't care anymore and that just feels iffy, especially if at some point Tim finds out about it.

This would also mean Tim wouldn't find out if he died of natural causes, meaning he'd have to find out from someone else - someone who killed him.

Tw: Death and suicide

I find the alluring part about fics like that to be the fact that there are no acknowledged consequences in the beginning despite the fact that the act in itself will bring upon tons of ramifications. It truly depends on how the author handles it.

For instance, there are a ton of BNHA fics where Midoriya finds out his power is immortality/traveling back in time after he follows Bakugo's advice of throwing himself off a roof. The ones that handle this concept well have Izuku slowly utilizing this power more and more cause there's "no consequences." It then acknowledges how placing your life at jeopary like that, or outright forsaking it, is extremely damaging to one's mental health. Those fics are great and extremely triggering because of this. It's the subtle and steady incline of realizing that the power does, in fact, have drastic and real consequences (such as knowing facts you shouldn't about loved ones or them not sharing precious memories).

I do like the idea you've mentioned of adding a cost to the person who took Tim's life so that it'll try to prevent the person from abusing this "life hack."

Another idea, despite having to live through those 24 hours again with only a small window for actually being able to change anything (which is an extremely scary and confining concept. Kudos), is that the person lives through one of Tim's memories. Neither person chooses which memory. The power just wants to make the person who murdered Tim suffer or feel guilty.

In the end, it would be the person who murdered Tim's choice on whether to keep killing him for the time travel hack, but there is an instant cost for it. Dealer's choice on whether the memory blurs out details to protect Tim's identity.

Bottom line, it adds another angst level where Tim has no clue he's been murdered and that his murderer now knows an intimate memory of his.

[amethystunarmed]

A John Herschel Character Study

I have a lot of feelings about John that go into how I characterize him so I decided to organize them in an “essay” for Day 14: Family of @pulpmusicalsfortnight2024. This is my deep dive into how John's family and childhood affect him today, going into his character arc in the three published episodes of Pulp Musicals. Obviously your mileage may vary but this is the basis for my characterization of John when I write him. Inspired by @eggingtontoast's wonderful analyses of Karen Chasity and Jeri from the Hatchetfield series. Huge thanks to @snarky-wallflower for betaing this for me!

So starting in his childhood:

In the few lines we get about him, John's father is described as being firm and no nonsense.

In Polaris, John says that his father would be “unamused” by him playing a game with his astronomy knowledge and that would say “[You're] just tracing lines 'round things [I] spent [my] life to find.” Specifically, John noted that his father would be against it as it provided “no real benefit to society.” To me, these quotes are just a little too specific to be speculation; I bet William Herschel said this to John before, especially since John knows all the constellations despite his father apparently believing them to be unimportant.

I speculate that William Herschel has constantly reinforced this concept in John, that science isn't fun, it's important and respectable, and that John needed to be important and respectable in turn. And I think John took it to heart over the years. John's reputation is clearly incredibly important to him. He is also deeply concerned about what his father thinks of him, almost to the point of terror, in my opinion. 

He moved his entire project thousands of miles away and constructed it in total secrecy just so his father wouldn't learn if he failed. Samuel is so sure John's dad must be proud of him, but all John seems to feel is afraid. 

His reputation is tied so tightly together with his father's, that John's own failings will reflect onto him, and John's life is a constant comparison to his father's works. John even says that people consider his actions to be an extension of his father's “dreams... hopes, and fears” in Through a Glass. The shadow is long and all-encompassing, and John seems to feel the weight of it heavily. “The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, when they put a glass to me.” 

Whether William Herschel intended this or not, the constant pressure from both his father and society has led John to develop an unhealthy fear of failure and being seen as lacking, and all of this ties into his public persona. He needs to be taken seriously, and puts on this front of being stern and unflappable.  

His isolation only adds to this. He claims that he prefers being alone when he speaks to Rose in It's a Hoax (Reprise)/Carry On. “I should be in another hemisphere alone with the milky way.” We know he gets letters from Anna, his exception, the one person (so far) that he lets his walls down around, but other than that, he is utterly alone. He is “away from the world, but close to [his] heart.” He even admits this was intentional in the Shifts Reprise, that he “built a wall ten miles high of essays, books, and quips.” All John needs is his studies and the sky. He has removed himself from humanity entirely, and has been that way for three years.

This is the John we meet in Before the Storm and It's a Hoax (Reprise)/Carry On.

John comes in and is immediately uptight and no nonsense. This makes sense, given the ramifications of the hoax; John's reputation and most likely his father's opinion are highly on the line. He seems unpleasant at first, an antagonist to the twins’ writing dreams but... He is very quickly taken with Rose.

He doesn't want to be, initially seeming confused and standoffish towards her questions about his work, but she barrels through his defenses. He enjoys that connection, softens, calls her Rose.

Until he learns what she's done and that persona snaps right back in place, his commitment to his reputation and the validity of his name superseding that genuine human connection.

Then, John witnesses something impossible. Margaret glowing. The Radiance. A scientific marvel straight out of a fairy tale.

And we've reached John's Choice.

Because in my opinion, it is not just John's Choice for the story, but of what kind of man he is going to be.

This is where Benjamin comes in. Benjamin serves as John's foil in the Great Moon Hoax. We've witnessed his story; of Benjamin's initial wonder with Hoax, the way the writing moved him enough that he risked everything and gave it a platform, only to betray both it and the Stratfords in the end. 

Benjamin loved the story but there was always that undercurrent of greed and a focus on the money and social status that could be gained, i.e. his “We'll be rich by the end of the day.” in Is it True?

On the other hand, though John came in upset over the story and the damage it could do to his reputation, he has always been a little enamored with the Hoax. He says it was good! He mostly focuses on the science, but also says that in another life, he and the writer could have gotten along. He likes it, despite himself.

The Hoax lit that spark in him again, the one William Herschel saw no value in. Margaret's Radiance fanned the flames.

And so, when push comes to shove, John chooses the Hoax, the story. He chooses the whimsy and creativity and a world with no laws of gravity. He laughs. He becomes the story teller for a theoretical Great Astronomical Discoveries #4, and he “gives it all” to the crowd gathered. He even assists in getting Chester Thomas to continue publishing fiction!

As Benjamin writes himself out of the story, John writes himself into it.

And we see a whole different side to John in the Brick Satellite as this shift in his values continues! He has moments of that initial stuffiness, when he gets all huffy over the Moon Hoax (but never truly mad, not in the way Margaret is), but he shows more of himself, removing bricks from his own personal walls as they add the bricks to the Satellite.

He plays games with Rose on the ship during Polaris, he reveals his vulnerabilities to Samuel in Through a Glass. Samuel even recognizes him as one of their own during this song. When John says, “Imagining’s what you do,” Samuel replies, “A trait I share with you.” John isn't just a scientist, he's a dreamer who imagines a better world, just like the Stratfords. 

This culminates in John and the Earth, the tipping point. Because, the roles are fully reversed from so long ago in South Africa. John looks down at the Earth, at all the people he had walled himself away with for so long, and he loves them so fiercely he cries. He stands in the gift he created for humanity on his own dime with no recompense expected and he says “Heaven's not up here in the sky, heaven’s down there.”

He has looked to the heavens his whole life. It was what was expected of him, the footsteps he was supposed to follow. But looking at the Earth, he sees it. Sees what matters. He has never “felt so small”, away from all the fame and status his name and reputation give him. But he has also never felt “more part of it all.” Because that is John's story, the astronomer who falls in love with the Earth again.

(And falls in love with Rose, but he's still working on that one.)

[pseudobun]

An open letter to Randy's World

Dear Randy,

I don’t know if you'll ever see this, given that I blocked you, but I know that hasn’t stopped you from seeing other people’s posts in the past. I knew you personally for a week, although I was aware of your reputation long before that. Despite trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, I must admit that I give up. You reminded me so much of my brother in certain ways, which perhaps led me to empathize with you. While I’m not going to diagnose you, it’s evident that there are some issues you’re dealing with, and I thought that with a bit of guidance and kindness, you could truly change for the better. Maybe you still can, but that kindness can no longer come from me.

I understand you’re upset that I messaged your mother on Facebook, but please remember that you told me all but her first name without any prompting. You asked me multiple times last night to meet you in real life, despite knowing my age and my clear request not to do so after the first time. I didn’t inform your mother about any allegations against you. I merely mentioned that you were sharing a lot of personal information with me unprompted, and I was worried for your safety. Because I am worried. I still am. I also brought up the pet names you sent me repeatedly after I left the first one on read, again out of concern for your safety. Not everyone has good intentions.

I like to believe I did the right thing. I like to think I was respectful and handled all interactions with you appropriately. The people I’ve consulted agree that I was only showing you basic kindness. Throughout our interactions, I made a conscious effort not to use any terms that might be considered pet names, despite my inclination towards Southern hospitality. For my efforts, I was left questioning whether I was wrong to message you with basic kindness. I was so distressed by the idea of accidentally grooming a child that I was physically ill after logging off for the night.

As I mentioned to your mother, I have siblings your age. I’d be horrified to receive a message like the one your mother received. My hope was that she would take action to prevent you from being on a site like this, given that you aren’t fully aware of the potential ramifications of your actions. Unfortunately, it seems that wasn’t the outcome.

I truly wish I could have helped you, Randy. But I have to consider how things appear, regardless of my intentions. I am almost a decade older than you, and I cannot allow you to continue messaging me in the way you did last night (such as asking me to take you to Washington and using pet names right before I logged off). Regardless of my intentions, you were choosing to misinterpret them, which puts me in a difficult position. I’m sorry, and I hope you are able to grow and find the help you need.

Sincerely,

Stevie "Evie" G.

[strawberry-jan]

I had thought that my days of writing long fandom effort-posts were behind me but then I finished Gaiden and welp, here I am. I ugly sobbed at the ending and then spent the next several hours ugly sobbing in textual form at friends. I have some thoughts; I am going to put a few spoiler-heavy ones (read: a lot of them) under the cut after this brief (read: lengthy) spoiler-free introduction.

Y6 and Y7 left me feeling like the writers should’ve just retired Kiryu from the series after Y5, even if it meant leaving him lying there in the snow and never following up on whether he’d actually made it back to Haruka or was just dreaming. I have complained at length about nearly every aspect of Y6, but since it’s directly relevant to my feelings about Gaiden, let me state my gripe with the ending specifically: it was an absolutely bizarre move to position that game’s ending (1) after Y5 and (2) within a game that hits the player over the head repeatedly with the message that setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm is a mistake that hurts not only you but also those around you.

Kiryu walks down the sunny path away from Morning Glory at the end of Y6, and everything about the framing suggests that even though it’s bittersweet, it ultimately tends toward sweet: the old generation has made way for the new, Yuta is there to look after Haruka in Kiryu’s place (don't get me started on this), and his family is safe for good. The problem with this is that it’s a shit resolution considering the game’s themes and also a devastating ending specifically for Kiryu. We’ve just come off the heels of Y5, where it’s more obvious than ever that you hardly need to scratch Kiryu's default-frowny surface to find a warm, caring man who badly needs to be with the people he loves. Exiling himself to Nagasugai made him unspeakably unhappy; what he wants, and what everyone in his family wants, is to be together, and this is something that Y6 harps on initially and then forgets in its ending. Walking away from Morning Glory forever is condemning himself to a lingering death and neither Y6 nor Y7 acknowledges this meaningfully. (Y7, in fact, is infuriating about this; Kiryu’s cameo there felt so cheap and unnecessary that I, one of the man’s biggest fans, was irritated at seeing him there.) It would have been kinder to just kill him outright at the end of Y6.

In that context, Gaiden feels like an apology that also tells you, gently, that we're at the end of an era - for real this time.

Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Still Thinks Sunglasses Are a Proper Disguise is a roughly 25-hour outing (depending on how much time you sink into mahjong and whether you can get over your embarrassment long enough to close your blinds and watch the painfully awkward live-action hostess videos) in which the writers spend most of the run-time reassuring you, “Yes, actually, we do understand this character and the ramifications of his decision.” There are so many points in the story where it comes up that his family is the one thing that Kiryu wants and the one thing he can’t have. He’s explicit about his desire; you can go so far as to ask a wish-granting vagrant in a silly substory full of Dragon Ball (and also ball) jokes to give him his happy, peaceful life back, because even when Kiryu’s up to his balls in testicular puns, that’s what’s on his mind. There’s no façade that he puts up; the game simply acknowledges this want and goes, “Yes, that was the lesson you learned and discarded; sorry that you can’t act on it anymore, but that window closed in 2016 when you decided to die instead of taking the briefcase full of cash.”

So. This is sad enough. But what really broke me about the ending – and what I know really broke a lot of other people – was the fact that it’s so devastatingly clear that even if Kiryu were to have taken the Omi’s terrible offer to do away with Hanawa and get himself back to Okinawa, it wouldn’t have mattered. I think the writers were very deliberate about having everyone refer to the “kids in Okinawa” (yes, also in Japanese) when they make threats toward Kiryu’s family or talk about his desire to see them again. Kiryu thinks of them as his kids, but when he looks at the recording on Hanawa’s tablet, he sees adults with adult jobs and adult lives of their own. They love him, but their world has moved on without him, and there are no “kids in Okinawa” to return to; all this time, Kiryu has been clinging to a vision of his peaceful life with his kids that doesn’t exist and, in fact, cannot exist anymore. The series has always taken place (barring the spinoffs) roughly in the present moment with real time passing between entries, and I’ve never felt it so painfully acutely as I did in that moment when Kiryu realizes that Haruto can write.

And this is all of a piece, I think, with the speech he gives earlier in the game about wanting to do right by Kazama, Nishiki, and Yumi – more idealized visions of people he once knew and still loves. Hell, even though I’m disappointed not to get the fanservice that would’ve been Kiryu talking to Daigo, Majima, and Saejima at length, none of those members of the old guard have interacted with him since he left the hospital and went to jail at the start of Y6. It’s not just his kids who have moved on: Daigo is doing things for himself without sneaking back into Suzuki Taichi’s life to beg him for advice, and though Majima does roll his eye at Kiryu and tell him to stick around for a bit after the brawl (and the little knife-throw made me go hohohoh because I'm shameless and will take whatever scraps the studio deigns to give me), he and Saejima are bickering and joking around with each other like an old married couple. They’ve moved on, too, and Kiryu’s world is ghosts all the way down.

It's not all miserable, of course. I do genuinely love that Kiryu’s kids are happy, and although Kiryu sobs that he needed them more than they needed him, that seems more like a function of his chronically low self-esteem than anything based in reality. You can tell that the Morning Glory kids regarded him as a positive force in their lives and that they still do as adults – Taichi, for instance, says that he decided to be a firefighter because he wanted to protect people like Kiryu did. Kiryu’s family looked up to him but, crucially, without falling into the cycle that Kiryu did when he looked up to his own father figure. And it really warms my heart that clearly Haruka has been telling Haruto about her dad, such that the kid knows enough about oji-san to draw a picture of him with the rest of his family. I think a lot of other media’s writers would have chosen to make the Morning Glory kids bitter about Kiryu’s absence, to have them resent their dad for repeatedly disappearing on them. Maybe they did in fact feel upset with him for a while, but the video presents them all as happy and hopeful that maybe someday their not-dead dad will come back to have a drink with them – and I do hope that Y8 allows this to happen in some way. It wouldn’t be a return to his old life, but it would be something.

Anyway: I’d feel weird about talking at such great length about all of this without talking about the Big Dissolution Brawl and everything around it. It's all connected, after all. Just as Kiryu comes to the painful acknowledgement that his little world has moved on, so too does he have to beat it into Shishido’s skull that the organization that he’s still clinging to is a thing of the past. It’s not just that anti-Yakuza laws are making it more difficult for them to function and that the police and politicians have found ways to use them as scapegoats and pawns. It’s also that everyone who’s been in the business long enough understands that even the best men among them are still bastards and their organizations aren’t worth saving. Tsuruno – probably my favourite new character – is a fiercely loyal man who’s known for taking guys like Shishido under his wing; he also has no compunctions about plotting to murder Hanawa, threatening Kiryu’s family as a manipulation tactic, threatening Kiryu himself with a red-hot branding iron, and using Kiryu as an accessory to murder. Notable cool dude Watase made use of the Kijin Clan because their assassination services were necessary for him to get ahead, and he and Tsuruno readily discard Nishitani III the second he becomes a liability – gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet, after all. (I am not going into anything else about whatever the writers thought they were doing with Nishitani. I think there was something to do there with the game's interest in names and legacy but then, in classic RGG Studio fashion, they forgot to elaborate on it in any meaningful way.) For the first time since the late 80s, Kiryu is even forced to explicitly consider Kazama’s faults – albeit only briefly, and only in a substory.

Shishido himself wants to be the final boss of a previous game as if there's some kind of throne left to contend for (and his final fight is actually pretty reminiscent of the brawl with Aizawa, a high point in the series). And, at Kiryu’s insistence, he’s allowed to get out his blustering final speech about it – but he shouts about refusing to allow the old guard to dismantle the structure he’s ascended while everyone around him who actually matters is standing there, like, “Dude, the Tojo and Omi are over; read the room.” We're playing through the epilogue to Kiryu's saga, and we're seeing everything that drove that saga's conflicts being tied up or taken apart as needed. The kids will be alright no matter what happens to Kiryu, and while we already saw the Tojo Clan bite it in Y7 after its long decline over the course of the series, we're finally seeing that from the perspective of the guy who prolonged things by shoving Daigo into the chairman's seat and coming back to Kamurocho once a year or so for a Millennium Tower punch-out. Kiryu even acknowledges that, like Shishido, he loves this shit - "You hear someone out there's stronger... And soon your only thought is how to defeat them," he tells the man. But he goes on to say that that dream is meaningless in the face of other people's daily struggles. Again, it's time for everyone to move on. It's time for you as the player to move on, and you're being given one last real-time shirt-rip brawl against a man who won't accept that the era is over in order to underscore the point that it's over.

I’m not entirely sure how to finish this already too long post. There's a lot I haven't even touched on. I will say that I love Hanawa and Akame and Tsuruno. I love going back to Sotenbori. I love yet another game in which I can slam through the koi-koi and mahjong completion lists. I love all the callbacks and the sequence in the castle where you fight not-Kiryu and they've given him Gun and Sword like some kind of budget Sakamoto Ryoma. I love playing dress-up with my big burly guy. I love everything about the big boys’ night out in Chapter 4. I love that immediately after being tortured by Daidoji agents Kiryu can wander into the next room over to ask for a turn on their Sega Master System. I love how funny this game is when it's not socking me repeatedly in the gut. More than anything, I love that even though Kiryu’s enduring the world’s most drawn-out death sentence he’s still Kiryu and he’ll still snark at people and get really into little cars and involve himself in people's problems at the drop of a hat. I wish that I’d gotten to see Kiryu getting tripe with the old Tojo guard at the end of the game, but that’s what fic is for. I will not be writing that fic any time soon because I’m still way too deep in my feelings about this game to write anything cheerful about it. As I said, Gaiden feels like an apology, and while it made me cry harder than a video game has ever made me cry before, I’m so happy to have received it.

[slipperypoppet]

“Bad things happen to good characters because our actions have consequences, and we do not all behave perfectly all the time. As soon as you start protecting your characters from the ramifications of their less-than-lofty behavior, your story will start to feel flat and pointless just like in real life. “

- Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

Read this quote and immediately thought of the intrepid heroes

[garrettwrites]

There's a particular type of post that I hate for it misses the entire point of some online "aesthetic" communities, via total exaggeration of the majority of people that are part of it.

You need to understand what a fantasy is. Even if it's unrealistic and you hate it. Because it's a fantasy, sometimes an escapist one, not reality.

I was raised in rural areas from 11 to around 20, first because me and my mother moved to live with a friend, and then because I was orphaned. I know the hard work of living in the countryside. I know what it is like to carry tones of wood from the truck to the garage to heat up the house and water for winter. I know how cows infest the nearby areas with flies and the smell of shit. I know chickens are disgusting. I know no white clothing would remain white for long. I know you sometimes live so far from the nearest market you need to use a car (thankfully I only had to walk twenty minutes).

Cottagecore or any variation of it are not that. They are a fantasy. An escapist dream. The return to a glamourized pastoral genre of fiction and ideology. Cute homes that remain always cozy (despite you never deep cleaning them). Baking complex recipes in your beautiful and plant covered kitchen (which magically has no flies). Taking a stroll to a nearby river and resting there for a bit (your house came from the sky and you didn't pay an exorbitant amount of money for the location). Having so many books and old fashioned hobbies and knowing how to both tend to a garden, do embroidery, crochet and woodworking (because this is your ideal world so you have no job taking up time). You have time to write your books, draw your art, maybe go out with your countryside friends. You may have a loving, imaginary partner who is just part of the picture too (because they're not real, so you can imagine them as unrealistic as you please).

Same applies to the dark academia or whatever.

It's a fantasy. A fantasy you can try to bring little by little into your life, but it's ultimately impossible to fully achieve. Chill out. You're not cool and quirky by hating on people who make extensive and picture perfect pinterest boards or run sideblogs with pictures of expensive stoves and animal themed pottery. You just look like an asshole.

"But farm life isn't like that!!!!!" So what? As long as people don't think caring for cows is easy and cheap, and get one only to mistreat her due to negligence... I don't see how their fantasy is harming anyone.

Some people accept unrealistic, borderline insipid (imo) books because "everyone has a different taste". Books you actually pay for. But then you shit on people who are posting pictures of dreams with zero real world consequences involved? It's the exact same thing.

"But people will start thinking it's fun when it ain't!" If you go ahead and buy a farm, waste thousands on decorations, get twenty chickens and five cows without any research... it's not because of a pastoral fantasy. It's because you're an idiot who doesn't think of the ramifications of your actions. We all have fantasies. Good lord.

My fantasy is to have a small neo gothic palace with a farm on the back, near the woods and with a small stream running through. It snows there, because I've never seen snow. Everything is dark and with a vague vampire theme mixed with neo-classic stuff, along with wall and ceiling paintings. I have expensive turkish rugs and tapestries with mythological scenes. I have a loving husband and two cats, along with a mare. I spend my days writing books and drawing illustrations, ocasionally doing history papers. My gigantic home is always clean despite no one doing so. Later, I have a child running through the place. Food is always warm, coffee always served.

Do I think I'll ever get this? Fuck no. But it's a goddamn fantasy for a reason, and as a writer, I can also commit it to paper. Who cares about how hard maintaining such a house would be? I don't live in it.

[randomnoteforfuturereference]

Those who go "Criticizing the Israeli government isn't antisemitic... but accusing it of apartheid or genocide is" do themselves no favors. Nor do they do Israel any favors in the long term.

Before I proceed, I need to make clear (both to Israelis as well as "antizionists"/tankies) when the accusation is paired with a declaration that Israel shouldn't exist, I'll agree that's when we get into antisemitism. After all, it'd be baffling to say that Serbia, China, or Sudan should cease existing for their part in genocide within the past 3 decades (not to be confused with the stance that certain parts of those nations have full grounds to break away), and only a relative fringe (your daily reminder that tumblr/twitter is not real life) will say the same about all the countries in the Americas.

Setting that aside, my issue is declaring that you can't say genocide or apartheid takes the teeth out of arguments to make them palatable for the political establishment.

Usually when I see people deny that apartheid, they bring up how Israeli Arabs have all the rights of citizenry. Except they fail to address how the accusation is leveled primarily at Israel's treatment of the West Bank (the settlements fulfill the literal translation of the "apartheid"). Or how within Israel proper, you can see a concerted campaign by the right to further marginalize Arab communities; from Netanyahu declaring Arab voters a fifth column, to the clear intent of the "nation state law", to incitement of violence from mobs and MKs.

Standing Together elaborates on the apartheid element:

Now for the genocide part, one could argue about the whether this actually meets the academic definition. However I'd still argue that by itself, accusing the Israeli government of genocide isn't inherently antisemitic even if it's frequently stated by those who are. Death toll aside, if you not only look at the progressive nature of the evacuation orders that pushes Gazans into an ever shrinking "safe zone" with no provision for return, it's not hard for it to meet at least the ethnic cleansing criteria.

Importantly, the Israeli government has done nothing to reign in extremism. By not shutting down its genocidal members (who are signaling that they want to resettle Gaza) or doing anything more than wrist-slapping mobs, it essentially approves that ideology. So while Israelis as a whole aren't genocidal, those who are are where it counts. Which then is where you have intent, regardless of Bibi's English statements to the world.

Also, no, not everyone who suffers deprivation or hardship is gonna become a genocidal terrorist. But it's well-documented that such conditions do make it easier for extremist groups to gain influence and recruit. In that regard, I argue that "Oct 7 was a natural consequence" is also a harsh but valid statement; not just due to conditions that make it easier for Hamas to get control (and gain popularity in the WB) but also because it's clear as day that the far-right coalition's push for WB occupation actually weakened Israeli security.

And comparing yourself to the conduct of Hamas or any of the Arab states to make yourself look better is an utter fallacy.

It's fair to point out the hypocrisy of those who level the accusations but don't say a peep about Russia or China (or how Arab states treat Palestinian refugees for that matter). And I think it's fair to ask anyone who comes out with such an accusation to clarify if they are just critiquing your gov/military's actions or your very existence.

But when "It's fair to criticize Israel" is repeatedly followed by "Not like That", it raises the question as to whether you really are inviting criticism of Israeli policy. Because hating Bibi is easy; harder is addressing the conditions that allowed him to come to power and the long-term ramifications.

[fishareglorious]

If someone were to be deciding between either limbus company or reverse 1999, which would you recommend and why? What would you say are the pros and cons?

I enjoy both R1999's and Limbus' story and gameplay, and both its cast of characters remain pretty intriguing enough. But I will be upfront about the fact that I will a little more biased on R199 since its currently filling up the spaces between my neurons currently, and that I've dropped Limbus months ago due to the company's actions towards its workers. All in all, if you want to play Limbus, all I ask of you is to not give the game any real-life money.

I really do want to give both games a fair chance, so I would say my verdict would be for you to try both games and see if like one or even both?

A whole ass essay under the cut:

Anyhow, when it comes to recommending it, I.. would say to a general audience, R1999's more palatable? Limbus' contents (see: its giant trigger warnings screen when you start the game for the first time) aren't quite for everyone, so if any of these aren’t for you, please take care of yourself.

Limbus gameplay is something that plays in my head even if I haven’t touched it in months. The difficulty spike is infamously vertical, but if you enjoy a good challenge, figuring out battles is really gratifying. Probably is one of the things I really miss about the game, as much as it did frustrate me to the point of insanity.

For the characters, I did really like the fact all of the playable characters take inspiration from classic literature (ie, Ishmael is inspired from Ishmael from Moby Dick, Heathcliff is from Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, Faust from Goethe's Faust, Gregor as Gregor Samsa from Kafka's Metamorphosis, etc.), and the setting of the City as an ultra capitalist hell that has SCP-esque creatures wreaking havoc after the downfall of an eldritch horror energy company is a very fascinating and intriguing world.

One of the big things I can think people praise about Limbus is that almost all gacha content are actually obtainable with enough grinding; barring the pretty new Walpurgisnacht content, which I think is limited?

The game has utterly banger soundtracks including original songs from Mili is spectacularly weaved into the boss battles, sound design that is immaculately crunchy in a satisfying way (I. admit I sometimes open some character's attack audios. for fun at one point. let us ignore i am the guy obsessed with outis and I play her voicelines because she's. her.) and top-notch voice acting. While it doesn't have a english dub, but I think even if they had one I don't think they'll come quite close to the korean VA's performances.

I may not have touched the game in months but I do still carry a fondness for these gang of murderous morally gray-to-black bastards and their sad sopping wet amnesiac manager.

And let's get to R1999. It's been taking up space in my brain for a while now. The cast of characters are certainly interesting, and there is lore jam-packed into almost every bit of the story. The whole world and the ramifications and effects of the Storm pose an intriguing conflict and I'll surely be tuned in to how the main story will turn out. The events are also a joy to watch and play.

As for the gameplay, if the levels aren't kicking your ass and you're evenly matched with your enemies, I really do enjoy the process of strategizing how to defeat the enemies. Unlike Limbus flinging you out into the world and into the battle; the tutorial on how R1999's battle mechanic certainly eases you better into knowing the basics. My only complaint in here is that the end-game grind is horrific. Farming for stuff for your characters in the highest levels will have you ripping your hair out (at least, that was my experience), but at the last going through the main story content doesn't actually require you to be on a high level with your roster of characters.

I appreciate how it does look like a lot of things in R1999 take context from actual historical things that have happened, though unfortunately I'm not really that much of a history buff to fully get some references and appreciate it, which is a bit of a shame.

The game's soundtrack is simply chef's kiss. I admit I don't really have audio on when i play casually, but when I do have it on while playing through the story, the music really does deliver and drive in what the game wants you to really feel during scenes. The music in chapter 3's various chess scenes drive in Constantine's scheming and the buildup of dread as you see it all unfurl before your eyes. The solemnity of the music in the final scenes of chapter 2. A ping pong game being somehow incredibly intense. That one OST that plays whenever someone goes silly time. Green Lake's absolute bop of an OST can I just link it here man. R1999 composers giving y'all a big plate of your favorite food.

Anyways. I think this has like. gone on and on and I am not good with writing conclusions so. To say what I said at the very start, I think you should both games a fair chance, so I would say my verdict would be for you to try both games and see if like one or even both? Up to you.

Most of all have fun and don't give into the gacha addiction. That is all.

[indistarlight]

"It's when a dog doesn't eat. That's when you know something's really wrong."

This line from Sam in My Bloody Valentine has always come back to me throughout the show and as we see Dean's copping mechanisms. (I'm only halfway through s13 so while I know what comes after, I won't be touching anything beyond that point.) It's meant to be a remark on the worrying nature of Dean not being his usual foodie self and contrast with everybody else getting affected by Famine.

But I think it also says a lot for what Sam looks out for when he believes Dean isn't okay. And it also shows how much he misses because of this thought process.

I think the beginning of s13 contrasted with most other occasions when Dean was struggling in recent seasons (post-purgatory and MoC) is probably the best example. s13 has Dean very very clearly emotionally destroyed; he's lost quite a few people in one-go, he's lost any modicum of faith he had even in the goodwill of Chuck, he's being forced to play nice with a confusing entity who may or may not have brainwashed Cas into death and could destroy the world. And Sam sees that and is attempting to "fix" it. So: Dean not acting like his usual (in this case the baseline is faithful-to-their-line-of-duty-being-a-good-thing) sets off all the alarm bells for Sam.

But. Why? Arguably, Dean is reacting pretty damn realistically. Those eps all together in the timeline are like two weeks tops. He's still functioning, trying to help people, amenable to Jack as time goes on. I'm not saying Dean was right, but he was sympathetic. Most of the confrontations in this period are because Sam is trying to persuade Dean into normal, into Sam's perspective on things, into denial rather than depression. The episode with the psychiatrist is very interesting and lowkey fucked in this regard, because Sam creates a false narrative that Dean has to play a part in, but also get interrogated about very, very real wounds. The tables get turned however, and Dean confronts Sam on not being able to cope, or even accept their losses.

I think this shows how much Sam needs Dean to be alright so that Sam has the freedom to not be alright. If Dean is the dog that doesn't eat, Sam is the dog that'll eat himself sick (ironic given their respective appetites). Dean reacts hard and heavy and pushes himself through it, Sam doesn't react until it blows up internally or externally. Let's not forget it was always Sam as the angry brother, when push came to shove! He's still deeply angry, like in American Nightmare where Sam is decidedly Not Reacting about Mary leaving until he says this to the other complicated mother character:

"God doesn't care what kind of life you live. Trust me. And God didn't kill your daughter. You did." This is guilt. This is anger. These are the thoughts that Sam tries very hard not to think about.

For Sam, it's about control, pop psychology his way through life, doing things the Right way. And eventually that blows up in his face, but damn if he won't keep suppressing. He doesn't know how to deal but he can sure help Dean deal the right way.

What's extra wild about this is that he then is almost obliviously blind to Dean when Dean is acting Normal. Good examples are the early seasons, where Dean's laughing just to keep Sam happy during s3 or when Sam relaxes at the sight of Dean having come home after a wild night (I love love love the meta that Dean set it up to get Sam off his back, good shit yall). I think this is very fun when put next to the near erasure of Dean's trauma concerning hell, purgatory, or even the MoC really. The Cage and Sam's actions during s5's end are brought up a decent amount (not enough tbh, but that's a whole different issue) but because Dean doesn't seem to outwardly dealing with those ramifications, they can all just move on.

This isn't (much) hate against Sam by the way. Dean, for better or worse (mostly worse, for them both), was Sam's truly reliable parental figure. You want the person you rely on to be okay, so that you can continue on relying on them. There's a reason why it's Sam who'll go all the way to human sacrifice to bring Dean back, unlike Dean who'll stop after lying and self-sacrifice. Dean moved on for a year after Sam's death, no matter how much it hurt him. We all have seen s4, no need for me to repeat those points. But regardless of the reasons, there is a very set status quo that Sam relies on, and it can end up being suffocating for Dean.