#...I am very sad now
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I love your metas! I was wondering... have you or anyone else tried listing all of Bruce's childhood traumas? Comics zero in on Crime Alley, but EVERY time I see a snippet from his childhood it's invariably a little-to-a-lot fucked up whether his parents are involved (loneliness, bedtime stories, his mom lovingly promising to haunt him) or not (falling into the cave, going to a boarding school run by a killer in Batman Gothic, Tommy Elliott in general, a childhood friend died of diphtheria in Batman Through the Looking Glass... he saw a LOT of death as a child, actually...)
Thank you! I unfortunately don't know of a post listing all of Bruce's childhood traumas. You've kind of already covered a lot of bases, Anon, but for the sake of completeness I'll go through all you've mentioned and the traumatic incidents I can recall too:
Bruce falls into a well full of bats and develops a phobia in response [notable post-Crisis flashback in Batman: The Man Who Falls]
At five years old, Bruce's favorite story to have Thomas read to him every night for a month is “The Veldt” by Ray Bradbury, which is largely about kids with such neglectful parents that they bond with an automated house and then leave their parents for dead [mentioned by Bruce(s) in Batman/Superman (2013) #2]
Bruce witnessed his father performing surgery on a dying man [flashback in Batman: The Long Halloween]
Thomas reads to Bruce “The Animals and the Pit” by Alexander Nikolaevich Afanasyev, a story containing cannibalism and brutal fights for survival [flashback in Batman (2016) #74]
Thomas had Bruce watch horror movies with him, with Martha having to comfort Bruce afterwards in a bit of an unorthodox way... by promising that if they died, his parents would haunt him [flashback in Detective Comics (2016) #1027 -- Ghost Story]
Bruce experienced neglect as a child, with his father's parenting style being potrayed in multiple stories as authoritarian, which led to Bruce idolizing him and craving his approval, but running to Martha for comfort when his father was too harsh [notable flashbacks in Batman: The Dark Knight II (2011) #12, but bits of this can be seen in Batman: The Long Halloween, Batman: Hush, Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #58, Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on a Serious Earth etc.]
Bruce had a friend called Celia Small for a while, whom he adored. He watched her die of diptheria while he recovered, blaming himself for it [mentioned in Batman: Through the Looking Glass]
Bruce was sent to a private school as a child, which he resented as being "sent away"; the school is described as hell, a place where children were beaten, humiliated and had to fight off the sexual advances of older teachers. Bruce gets spanked as physical punishment by the headmaster, who turns out to be a serial killer, because Bruce glimpses the severed head of his only friend Robert as it happens [flashbacks in Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #7 -- Gothic]
Bruce accidentally shoots a duck with a rifle his friend Mooley had brought with them, and the death of the animal becomes a traumatic memory associated with the death of his parents, because of the gun [Batman: Secrets #4]
Bruce's childhood friend, Tommy Elliot... um. I guess I can just list Tommy Elliot, but the most direct traumatic experience at the time must've been having to stop Thomas from killing another kid, after which Thomas was put in a psychiatric institution [flashback in Detective Comics (1937) #837]
Bruce's father hits him while angry about a stock investment, with Bruce declaring in childish rage to his mother afterwards that he wants him dead... on the same day that his parents got gunned down, because Bruce's survivor's guilt needed more ammunition [flashback in Batman (1940) #430]
And then there's the shooting of his parents at the tender age of 8 years old! So all of this is prior to that! Two dead friends, one who avoided him after the unfortunate duck incident, and one friend who had a violent breakdown and got taken away... And Bruce attempted suicide after his parents died too, as told in Batman (2016) #12.
#...I am very sad now#Bruce does have a very complicated relationship with death. he has nightmares about death especially at the beginning of his career#there's a hallucination sequence related to Bruce's fear of death intertwined with Joker at the beginning of Batman: Cult#that's fascinating#asks#batman#bruce wayne#bruce wayne meta#abuse mention#suicide mention#batman meta#my meta
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(6/6/24) Once again just putting feelers out for any potential takers - if there's any folks out there with space for a trans dyke to crash with her lil black cat (and can maybe help with transportation a bit) throw me a DM please. I've got 24 days left where I am here in Ohio maximum, and I am happy to sit down and discuss helping with costs and general household stuff (I fucking love doing the dishes tbh.)
Once again, if you got a free space and are maybe okay with a little road trip (which I can also help cover expenses on) then shoot me a DM here or send me a message on Discord @ riotrhea.
❤️🔥
#yeeegads feel free to rb#I just alas would very much be sad to give up my little Harrow#annnnnd unfortuntely am the dipshit that never got a license or car and now does not have many resources oof
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Hey . hey !! trick or charlie give us that shirtless charlie. There IS a time and place and thats FOR ME and RIGHT NOW
OKAY OKAY JESUS enjoy the treat I guess damn kids these days so demanding
#HUBBA HUBBA#I was doodling next to my gf#and they looked over at Charlie and was like ‘I’m worried about him’#like yeah ok his sad man swag is very evident but she just sounded so sincere#now I too am worried for him. someone *cough*oscar*couch* hug this man rn#ask#malevolent#detective noel#charlie dowd
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i got really strangely invested in parkourciv because of that One guy who reminds me of goro akechi
#got back into mc series after i said im done with them im a fraud 🤦🤦#those who say theyve moved on from mc FALL THE HARDEST!!! WHERFE THE FUCK AM I#anyways i was just gonna try out parkourciv casually but then oomf said seawatt is kind of like akechi#i went Holy fuck (<- binged the rest in a day)#shout out to oomf its your fault im in this situation now GET ME!!! OUT#thjis is really sad u could probably get me into any series by eitjer saying theres an akechi or theres yaoi#but yay Yayy... seawatt my princess.... i had so much fun designing from mc skins again#hopefully ill be able to crank out evbo and seawatt design sheets at the very least#seawatt#parkour civilization#seawatt gaming#parkourciv#fuck#persona 5#p5#p5r#persona 5 royal#akechi goro#goro akechi#artists on tumblr#my art
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realizing that people who equate cynicism with intellectual rigor are often just being lazy and pathetic has been so helpful tbh
#like the endless amount of cynicism i see on here particularly amongst american leftists just very much reads to me#as a combination of moral ocd and identity politics / optics#where if you’re sad/angry enough it excuses you from participating in the real world#instead of like. funneling a real desire to see positive change into channels of action#anyways. aoc and rashida talib the only bitches out here i respect#i am never going to be a person who responds to like. paragraphs about how electoral politics are evil or america is evil like yeah. true.#but i live here. people i love live here. strangers i love live here. so now what do i do that is Real outside of the whining chamber#optimism = stupid / fatalism = intellect is like. LOLOLOL#we all have to chose to believe that we can create a world that is livable#which is not to say i am#at all aligned with the dem#establishment or the liberal agenda but like. i’m not taking myself out of the game bc i believe i can Do Something and it’s my duty to do
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another elden ring art dump feat. torin & friends
#elden ring#elden ring oc#tarnished#confessor#torin#ace draws#d hunter of the dead#rya#zorayas#melina#friends who are not varre#yes torin and darian are very friendly :)#for now :)#he's having a great time and everything is fine i promise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ#entertaining myself until the dlc drops in june#just some stuff that has accumulated over the past month#i am very very bad at posting art when tags are trending lmao#can't wait to bring this sad man into the dlc#he will never know peace :)#*millicent voice* the brainrot writhes now worse than ever
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early this morning i told my partner i was going to announce an indefinite hiatus and abandon my writing altogether while i deal with the grief of what's happening.
i decided to check tiktok (instinct when i'm waiting for my bagel to heat up) -- the first video was someone saying 'running to spend the week reading fanfic and nothing else'. comments upon comments were asking for fluffy, immersive fics of any kind just to keep people going. to feel something. to have some kind of hope.
my mom and i had a lengthy conversation at 6am about everything, and something she said curbed my crying instantly: "do not let those motherfuckers take your light."
so i won't.
i have really incredible people who interact with my stories, this is my joy and safe space, and as hard as things are right now, as hopeless as i may feel, i can create art and help put some good out there in a time where that light feels dimmed. i will still be kind to myself -- i'm still processing, and i'm sure i won't feel right for a very long time -- but quitting writing and disappearing would only bring joy to the people who want to police art, fiction, humanity.
so i will be working on the drabble challenge through november. i will still post a poll about amymas sometime later this week. i will still open my docs for silver underground, dating mode, seven days, etc. i may need more time. i may be slow. i may start an entirely new wip to cope. but i'll still create.
#amy babbles#tw politics#tw election#i had my hiatus post drafted to be like 'yeah i'm logging out and idk when ill ever be back' bc i am just so very fucking sad right now#but if i can make others who are way less fortunate than myself have something to escape to#especially in the next few months#then that's my power and they can't take that
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i love these two so i decided to doodle them hsjfhskfj
tiny bit of style experimentation
#pastel doodles!#sun and moon show#tsams#the sun and moon show#tsams forkface#forkface#ruin monty#tsams ruin monty#forkface x ruin monty#as an added note i'd like to think their relationship is relatively simple#they just like each other-like being with each other-enjoying one another's company#ruin monty talks and forky listens#it was basically a 'i like you' 'so we dating now?' 'cool'#they love each other on a very simple and sweet level#am i talking about a relationship that has never fully been onscreen? yes and im not ashamed of it#i love them hjfhsf#still sad that ruin monty died before we could see them together :(
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Smell Check [Easy: Failure]
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#disco elysium#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#So sad I didn't manage to get this comic out on the 15th (pd-mdzs's 8 month anniversary and DE's 4th year anniversary) but I'm here *now*#I have a very extensive and detailed MDZS Disco Elysium AU that I am Not Normal About.#I've seen a few other people point out the potential in a crossover (true) but they make the mistake in having it be set in 51!#A true crossover would take place closer to The Antecentennial Revolution!#Disco Elysium did not go that hard on its cool lore for people to only make surface level crossovers!!!#One day I'll write the fic or post my notes. I don't know who would read it but it tickles *my* brain and that's enough.#No spoilers for DE (here or in comments (please)) but please consider....Magpie Wei Wuxian B*) On his way to be an innocent.#I do think there is a good chance a chunk of the MDZS readership would enjoy DE but...it's also not a game I easily recommend#It's more of an experience you have to marinate over. It's dark in ways that are off putting to some people.#It makes you feel like a very bad person all the time. It gets extremely personal if you allow yourself to be honest in your answers#and it's also the game that saved my life. My life was truly forever changed after playing disco elysium.#If I recommend it to people it's a badge of the trust I have in you to appreciate something dear to me B'*)#If you decide to play: PLEASE go in as blind as possible. You will regret spoiling yourself.#edit: this is based on real disco elysium dialogue. HDB has many canon kinks but this is not one of them
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;3
#ninja showdown#my immortal soul#first ninja x chase young#rc9gn first ninja#first ninja#chase young#rc9gn#xiaolin showdown#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#me @ me; how many art tropes we gotta draw for those two? also me: yes ;)#listen. LISTEN. the world is kinda shit right now and im sad and so im drawing a lot of these two rn to comfort me#but instead of drawing all those great angsty soul-tearing ideas i had. do you know what my brain decided?? DO YOU???#it saw a picture of Chase with wet hair and went: you know what would be very cool idea??? ;))) and i promptly sketched almost 20 pgs#comic where absolutely nothing actually happens but 14 of the pages contain half-naked wet men!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT#somehow its not even the worst thing i drew because right after that???#my brain was like heehoo what about some love spell/pollen trope?? ;3 & i kid you not i doodled some of it and now im just sitting here#with my head in my hands wondering wtf am i doing as i stare at a doodle of love spelled first#so ye guess what im gonna be working on this month lol
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You know it's actually sick and twisted that Rick ended the trials of apollo series
Clearly he wasn't thinking of the needs of others (me)
#what will i fill my time with now#do i just start reading hidden oracle again#i'm too tired to think abt this#toa#trials of apollo#the trials of apollo#lester papadopoulos#oh how i adore you lester#you are my special guy#i love you lester#ily lester#i miss you already#i am filled with deep melancholy#soap is very sad :(
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accidentally went into the devil’s den (reddit) and saw someone say that viktor was probably projecting his regrets as an absent father onto young ivy and that’s why he got so attached to her— BRO COUNT YOUR DAYS???? I WILL FIND WHOEVER SAID THAT AND I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT
#now the real question is am i projecting my own father issues onto viktor’s projection onto ivy#idk man that sounds like some serious allegations!!!#anyways i will never let them go#thought abt them at work and now im very sad#will be making tteokbokki for dinner tho!#viktor vasko#ivy pepper#lackadaisy#lackadaisy cats
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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the dredger.
a comic about closure.
(buy the digital copy of the comic anthology here)
creative notes:
#i wrote my best stuff when i was at my very worst mentally#both RED and Patchwork Canary were written during an emotional pit#i struggled for a while. thinking about that#especially since those two came so easily to me back then and its so difficult to write anything like it these days#but i think id trade being happy over writing Only Bangers any day#closure#i made this comic series about the worst period of my mental health ever and now its over#its 10pm#and i dont know who i am#and thats fine. ill figure it out as i go.#thank you for reading#and thank you for your support#i promise my next project wont be as sad#stillindigo art#comic art#stillindigo comics
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