#....ok how the fuck do I explain what they are doing without looking insane to everyone that doesnt play the mod and even less stardew????

[medys-space]

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[petew21-blog]

Romania dreaming

It has been a few months since I met George on the site for long distance dating for gays. He was from Romania, kind of cute twinkish guy. Never had much luck. I honestly can't say why I went on that website, maybe I was just bored, but it turned out as the best decision of my life.

It was strange cause from the start, we knew we had chemistry between each other, but the distance made it complicated. We often sex-chatted on the website. About what we would do to each other and so.

One day I told him I wanted to jerk off furiously, because of what he wrote, but my rommate was unfortuantely in the room. Then just a strange idea popped into my head. "What if you'd swap into his body? Then you could be with me." George told me about his Romania ancestor magic skills he had, but he did just some small parlor tricks from time to time. The bigger spells were harder. He needed a friend for that. A friend that I could be. And that I could benefit from too

George loved the idea, but was scared at first. "What if the other one in my body ruins my life while he is me? I can't let that happen."

"Ok, you know what. Find anyone hot from your life that you would like me to swap into and I will come to see you. Then you'll swap me back and I'll see what the other person did. Maybe the spell makes them think they're us. That would be neat" I suggested

George was more confident now and even sent me some photos of his straight colleagues from work, so that we could see if they behaved differently after swapping back. I immediately set my eyes on Daniel. His hot, absolutely 100 % straight, colleague who worked out. Insanely hot.

We both agreed. I got ready in my bed. I told George to start the spell at 21:21. I looked at the clock and still had some minutes left. I tried to fall asleep. Maybe Daniel would be asleep in my body and it would be easier. Then it hit me. Strange nauseating feeling and the light

I was standing in the locker rooms. Cold win from the AC on my bare torso. Bare torso? Holy shit. I am shirtless in the locker rooms of some gym. That's something I never expected to happen to me. I looked down. First thing that caught my eye were the shorts. Then I looked at my beautiful muscular torso. My new arms. Then I caught my new reflection. In the mirror was the guy that I saw in the photo. Daniel. "Daniel" I said aloud. His voice sounded so strong and commanding. If he told me with this voice to get down on my knees and suck him, I would. Speaking of sucking I looked in my shorts. Nice flacid shaved cock. "Gotta find out how big you are when you're hard big guy". His phone vibrated. Fuck, I almost forgot I was suppose to send Daniel proof of swapping bodies

I sent the photo to George's instagram. Then I wrote:"This is what you'll be looking up at tonight while you suck me off"

"Peter? I can't believe it. You're really him. You have to come over!"

I wanted to get his stuff and leave immediately, but the some of his friends got to the locker and ridiculed me for being a pussy and leaving without lifting. I don't know if it was Daniel's personality or something else in me, but I felt like I had to prove them wrong. And then I said things I didn't even know. Shit about cars, girls, FUCKING GIRLS. I even lifted without knowing how. This body was on autopilote.

I left early without saying anything. Bunch of messages from George waiting for me and being stressed out what happened. I explained and asked for his adress of his dorms.

The twink I used to talk to late at night was waiting for me in black compression shorts and black shirt.

"Heey...." was all I let him say out loud. I agressively pressed him against the wall and kissed him. Tongues twisting around each other, my teeth biting his lips, hands feeling up and down his body. Slowly we were working our way to his bed. I set him down and took of my shirt. He was visibly shocked, that his work colleague was now in front of him stripping down. I whip out my hard dick and pushed it into his face. He obliged immediately and worked his way with his tongue around the bright purple head of my new dick. He was working it like a pro, trying to swallow it whole, not gagging. But that didn't matter, I had to fuck his ass. Now.

I turned him around, not even stripping him, only pulling a bit of his shorts from his ass. I spit into my hand, got it on my dick and pushed myself in. He screamed out. But I didn't care, I just pused inside and kept thrusting. He was so tight. His ass was so tight around my shaft. I shot my cum inside of him. Pulling out and immediately searching for clothes to leave.

"You're leaving?!"

I snapped out. "Fuck, jesus George I am so sorry. I don't know what happened. I think Daniel's personality still had effect on me. I didn't mean to be so rough on you. Please forgive me."

"It's ok. It did hurt at first, but it was worth it. I still can't believe you're him now. And I lost my virginity with Daniel who I crushed over for years! That's so amazing!"

"Wait, this was your first time? But, you told me all the stories. Was none of it true? Jesus, George, maybe if I knew I would have fought Daniel's personality harder."

"I didn't expect we would me irl. I honestly didn't expect the spell would wrok, but here we are. Daniel is here. In my room. Wait, I have a great idea!" he started casting a spell

"Wait!" I wasn't fast enough to stop him.

But now I was looking at Daniel. From his point of view. Already feeling more submissive than in Daniel's body. The personality of the original body truly does have an effect on the one swapped inside.

George was now posing in front of the mirror. His eyes focused on his biceps and all the tense muscles.

I was now in George's twink body. I could feel his ass hurting from the sex with Daniel's body. I could feel the cum in his ass. I felt the attraction towards Daniel's body. But I didn't feel right like I did in Daniel's. I wanted to swap back.

George now got to his new dick, which was already throbbing hard again. How that's possible, I have no idea. But as soon as he started jerking his new cock he looked at me and I felt his predator eyes on me. Fuck, this is gonna hurt

The next morning I woke up sleeping next to George still in Daniel's body. We didn't sleep much tonight, but don't get me wrong, while the sex felt great I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was in the wrong body. As soon as George woke up I told him about my dysphoria with his body. He got mad. I could tell that Daniel's personality took over. And then few seconds later I found myself in my original body again already in my university lecture.

For several weeks George didn't answer my messages. I could only see as his Tumblr profile had more and more photos of Daniel's body in the gym etc.

Not only was I worried, but I had to admit to myself that I was extremely jealous. I was in that body first. I need it more than he did

I kept spamming him with messages and then one day he answered. The message said:"I need to fuck this guy in gym. I'll swap u with him tonight. Be ready". Man, I think it's better to have one body close to Daniel's rather than be far from him

He did as he said in the message. I woke up again in the bright gym. Now lifting. I proceeded to not cause suspicion.

This guy I was now in was really handsome. More muscular even than Daniel I dare to say. I could feel that his personality was not as strong as Daniel's. He seemed more kind in my eyes, but who knows who he is. I may not know before George tells me. I saw him on the other side of the room eyeing me. Stalking me even. I left the body on autopilote and finished the workout. His body was probably used to take photos after so I let him

Maybe I could stay in his body. He is really hot. And more handsome too. But I don't know. He is the type I would love to have as a boyfriend, not to be him.

I followed George to the showers. We were eventually the last people in the gym. I got into the lockers. Patiently waiting for him to speak.

"You're Mihai now. He's the owner of the gym. So we got the place for ourselves. Let's hit the showers"

I followe him. Mihai, what a nice name for this guy. I don't feel that Mihai is someone who would just follow others and do what they tell him to. Maybe I figured out how to overpower the personality of the person.

We got naked and stared at each other.

"Nah, this is wrong." and yet again he proceeded to perform his ritual

I was now Daniel again and was looking at Mihai. Now the reality of how he acted hit him. And as I suspected before, Miahi was irl a very nice guy. "I am so so so sorry Peter. I didn't know that Daniel had such a strong personality. I tohught I could fight it, but most of the time I just found myself being the passenger, but still enjoying his life. It's so weird. But I feel better now as Mihai. Maybe you should stay in Daniel's body for now. I'll learn to control the personality of others, just as you did and then we can safely try to swap with other people. What do you think?"

"I think" I said as I turned on the water in the showers "that you need a post workout shower. And that George and Mihai need to get to know themselves better" I smiled at him kneeling down to the nice hairy cock already waiting for my mouth

Few months later

Are you asking if we stayed in their bodies? Well yeah, kind off. We made their bodies our main ones. We got them to live together, start a relationship and now even if we swapped into other bodies Daniel and Mihai bodies continue what we established. Romantic right?

Me and George often take trips to some new locations travelling around the world, enjoying life of other people. Most of the time we try to find some straight friends travelling to foreign locations, trying to score some pussy there and slightly changing their vacation plans. Heh, there was this one time where we didn't even exit our hotel room. For a week. Crazy right? That was wild. But maybe I'll tell that story another time and tell you how our life in Mihai and George is proceeding

But now we are in the bodies of these two gym bro friends, waiting for the gay bar to open. See you

A story from messages we came up with while body swap roleplaying with @hunkpossesion

I changed the plot a bit, but still the hot bodies remained.

[calliesmemes]

YET ANOTHER ROUNDUP OF ASOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to be a bit silly <333

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

❛ I am not merely a clown; I’m the entire damn circus! ❜

❛ I will bite you if you continue this behavior. ❜

❛ Being a dramatic ass bitch isn’t a personality trait; it’s a lifestyle! ❜

❛ Trauma? Oh … you mean, my lore? ❜

❛ why must I cite sources? is it not enough to just say ‘trust me, bro’? ❜

❛ sorry for being a perfect sweetie and a genius it will likely happen again. ❜

❛ forget about touching grass; I need to touch WATER I NEED TO GO INTO THE OCEAN I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!! ❜

❛ I’m attracted to men with muppet energy and no i will not be explaining. ❜

❛ you want me to make friends with people? the thing that killed julius caesar? ❜

❛ what’s your birthstone? mine is rock bottom. ❜

❛ I absolutely hate that I’m not bioluminescent. Pathetic. ❜

❛ ohhhhh my god i have got to stop mourning the past or whatever. ❜

❛ you expect me to act like a normal human being? I’m wearing a turtleneck! ❜

❛ i don’t struggle with same sex attraction I’m actually very good at it. ❜

❛ unfortunately i often find out without even getting the chance to fuck around. ❜

❛ I’m bisexual which means that I’m attracted to anybody who can defeat me in physical combat. ❜

❛ all anyone needs to know about me is that i’m a dumbass and i love women. ❜

❛ sorry but philosophers aren’t impressive i came up with stuff like that when i was 12. ❜

❛ I pay my own bills; I can cuss all I want! ❜

❛ I don’t have rizz; I have sad eyes and a weird presence. ❜

❛ my demons are chasing me and they’re doing the Naruto run. ❜

❛ honey we are ALL doomed by the narrative. it's not that serious. have some fun with it. ❜

❛ dating me is like interviewing a psych ward patient. ❜

❛ being a girl with very large brown eyes comes with great responsibility. ❜

❛ i’m autistic in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. ❜

❛ being a loser may be a phase to you but its a lifestyle for me. ❜

❛ entering a magical portal in the woods would fix me. ❜

❛ I’m lonely but not in a hot mysterious way; more like in a pathetic way. ❜

❛ life is so unserious just say womp womp and move on! ❜

❛ you’re vibing? In this economy? ❜

❛ just because I’m small doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass. ❜

❛ my primary motivators are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ❜

❛ sorry about the chaos; I needed attention. ❜

❛ WHAT IS UP GIRL you look foreboding and malicious! ❜

❛ baby i can be your problematic bi wife. ❜

❛ i don’t think any of you understand how important i am to the plot. ❜

❛ what if we are both red flags? what then? ❜

❛ any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ❜

❛ my hobbies include being right, being gay, and being a hater. ❜

❛ i have a phd in Loving The Color Pink And Also Glitter. ❜

❛ being a menace to society is a full time job and I am dedicated. ❜

❛ my life has been a bouquet of oopsie daisies. ❜

❛ i survive on spite, anxiety, and blasphemy. ❜

❛ if you’re not obsessed with me, why would I wanna be with you? ❜

❛ the hottest thing a man can be is a little afraid of me. ❜

❛ my love language is being a hater. ❜

❛ i don’t get enough credit for acting far less insane than i actually am. ❜

❛ the A in my name stands for always right. ❜

❛ Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and I will continue to be rebellious until he does so. ❜

❛ I’ll see a man with long hair and then remember that I’m not above temptations of the flesh. ❜

❛ i’m going to be honest with you I’m not going to be honest with you. ❜

❛ stop asking me if I’m ok I’ll literally make out with you. ❜

❛ part of my masculine charm is that I’m literally insane. ❜

❛ are you sure those are demons bro? or are they consequences from the choices you made? ❜

❛ i do not identify as a boy or a girl. i identify as a nuisance, an irritant, a fool, and a problem. ❜

❛ praying on someone’s downfall isn’t enough i need to participate in it. ❜

❛ we all need to chill. i won’t do it first but it’s something i noticed. ❜

❛ not to sound like a Victorian woman suffering from hysteria but going to the sea would fix me. ❜

❛ the silly goose convention called; they asked if you could be their keynote speaker. ❜

❛ i deserve unrestricted access to old castles and old churches i want to know all the secrets. ❜

❛ doesn’t matter if you’re cringe or based we’re all just here to suffer. ❜

❛ I’m no longer comedic relief I’m now serious panic. ❜

❛ this is getting difficult to romanticize. ❜

❛ done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness needs a sword. ❜

❛ i am God’s silliest experiment. ❜

❛ i’m very vulnerable right now if anyone wants to take advantage of me. ❜

❛ sorry i overshared do you still think im hot? ❜

❛ I can yap for days and still maintain my air of mystery. ❜

❛ good luck sending me mixed signals; I don’t even understand normal ones. ❜

❛ not all of your life decisions have to be smart. some can be purely for cinematic value. ❜

[kooqitas]

... law class & sex ★ with: jjk!

#pairings: teacher!jjk X reader

#synopsis: you didn't think your teacher would notice how desperate you were for his cock

#tags: teacher!jk, pwp, cockslut, rough sex, spanking, semi public sex (?), creampie, vaginal sex, overstimulation, degradation, humiliation,

🌸 . . nsfw, +18 | 

────────────────── ୭ ──────────────────ㅤ

"you fucking pervert. you like this, don't you? is this pussy wet after seeing my class?"

your teacher looks like you are a freak, yeah, maybe you are.

to be honest, it is kinda difficult to explain how this happened. you really have a big crush on your teacher and of course if he asks you to ride on his dick, but he's never made a mention about that, unlike this, he's really so kind and respectful with you and your friends. 

but he’s hot. super hot.

you feel your underwear wet after the moment you stepped on the class.

jeon jungkook is your teacher of criminal law, and you really like your teaching methods, but being a young adult in a constant fertile period doesn’t help. 

the teacher is so attractive, every part of your body, with the passing of the months you just want to sit on his face and sucking your dick. 

but you always hide this, except for today.

you never felt your pussy so wet when this man started speaking like annalise keating, and your tight pants doesn’t help, your thighs make you insane. 

the only thing you can do is take a lollipop and leave it in your mouth, sucking like jungkook's dick.

he got it. you practically devore him with eyes when sucks the candy.

the class is over, so he’s calling you.

“what’s your problem today?”

is he looking at your nipples? wow

“excuse me, sir?”

“to be honest, i really receive several proposals to eat my students, but you know, i always decline…”

it’s true, you always hear your friends say that they have tried something more with jungkook, insinuations, short clothes, inappropriate photos, everything, but he always said “no”. 

this is one of the motives you never tried anything.

“i know that, but i can’t understand why u tell me this, sir…”

“oh! really?” he asked, the mocker tone evident in his voice. “what you want of me, sweetheart?”

“excuse me?”

oh, jungkook we're going to humiliate you? say that you’re a pervert and he never wants anything with you? really? 

“i see how you look to me when sucks that lollipop, i see in your face how that cunt makes you wet at each little word i said.” he’s raised, staying in front of you. “you want that i fuck you, stupid whore?”

jungkook's face changed. he’s look like a devil, maybe the pleasure, but still a devil.

what the fuck he’s doing? all your friends say that he always said “i'm not interesting, bye” but why now he’s spoken like that? 

“i made a question, because to be honest, i’m tired of hiding how much i want to fuck your cute little drippy cunt, of hiding how much i want make you cum on my cock and made you my personal slut”

“y-yes, i want”

he laughed.

"you fucking pervert. you like this, don't you? is this pussy wet after seeing my class?"

so, he stood in front of you, grabbing her waist tightly and sticking his tongue in her mouth.

“the d-dor.” you said.

“that’s ok, i don’t care if someone see i fucking a whore.”

without a warning, he lifted your skirt and rubbed his middle finger on you wet underwear. you moaned.

“this is a good slut, i even need to prepare you with my fingers, you are so wet to my cock, desperate for me to fill you with my sperm, no?” he still rubbed, now your clit, your legs trembled and you feel that you can cum in his fingers. “we need to be faster, i said that i don’t care if someone see, but if this happened we can’t play anymore”

“p-please.” you even know for what you are asked, have jungkook brushing his middle finger on your clit is like a fucking wet dream.

“can your sweet and little pussy take my fat cock?” you feel the other hand pinched your nipple, and scream because of the pain. “a word, sweetheart, i need a word because nothing else will make me stop to fuck this hole open.”

“i dont need a w-word. i want everything.”

he pinched your clit, and you scream again, made him laugh on your ear.

“knew a dumb slut like you was good to me. desperate to feel begging me to defile this tight, no? but i need a word. but i know you won't use it, you're desperate to cry while i tear that pussy apart.” 

you said a word, nothing special just “popcorn”, don’t have a motive or anything, is just a random word that you can remember if it is necessary.

you even notice when he removed the belt and underwear, just feel he’s dick opening you without any care, it didn't hurt, you were too excited for that, of course, a slight burning but nothing that wasn't pleasurable.

“now, my favorite student, watch me dick fuck this little hole open” he said when he lifted your skirt and grabbed your leg, leaning against the table to leave you open for him. 

jungkook isn’t a ‘gentleman’ he’s fucking you like a toy, the table is shaking because the power of that he hit you and you scream everytime his ball hit in you.

you see his sucking his middle finger and you can’t understand what happens, but the confusion soon disappears when you feel him rub his finger wet with spit on you asshole.

“next time, i use this hole.”

“c-cu-”

“you gonna cum?” he let go of your waist to leave a slap on your face. “is your teacher's cock so hot that you're going to cum on it?”

“y-yeah.”

“so cum, whore!” he slap on your face again, and again.

and when the orgarms finally came, he kissed you trying to muffle your screams.

he continuous to fucking your pussy. you ruined and felt the overstimulation, your body didn't stand up, but his still fucking.

still fucking untill cum on your pussy, the white liquid oozing on you. 

the floor is a mess, the table is a mess, and you is a mess too.

you think that is over, but jungkook got on his knees and sucks you. 

making him swallow your cum and his.

“so…” she said, standing up and fixing his pants. “i want to fuck you everyday now.”

“i'll do anything for my favorite teacher.”

“so when you get home, send me a video of your shower. i will be waiting.”

🌸 . . part 2 maybe?

[jewish-vents]

i’m a teacher and i had a kid draw a swastika in my classroom on like. the second day of school. so one of our admin came in to two of my classes the next day to talk about it. and she started by telling this story about how she had a hijabi student. and a boy in the class was “really curious about what her hair looked like.” and had the students guess what happened next (pulled the hijab off, gross and awful) and how that might have made the hijabi student feel. at this point i’m sitting at my desk like “it’s been five minutes are we going to talk about the swastika” and then she finally goes “yesterday someone drew a symbol that represents division. and hate. and those aren’t things we stand for” and a kid (of course) was like what was it? and this fucking woman turns to me and goes “are you comfortable sharing what it was?”

?????? i thought that’s why you were here?? i thought you were here to explain why swastikas are not okay, and we are seven minutes into your little presentation and you haven’t said the word swastika or even jewish. so i said it was a swastika and several of the kids didn’t know what that was. which was disturbing on its own as i teach middle school but i digress. i said no way in hell am i drawing one so my admin looks at me and is like “could you google a picture?”

can’t believe i did this but i didn’t know what else to do in the moment so i pulled up a google image search of swastikas and projected it on the board. at no point did the admin say “hey you can take that down now” it just sat up there until i got uncomfortable and sick to my stomach enough to close it myself. and then she came back the next period and did the WHOLE song and dance again (no jewish, no antisemitism, not even the word NAZI which is insane to me) and STILL told the opening story about the hijabi girl even with two hijabi girls sitting in the class this time who were clearly uncomfortable.

this was like three weeks ago and it’s been quietly bothering me for a while and i finally told my (nonjewish) work friends about it and they were all like “holy shit that’s so fucked that she asked you to do that” and i told my (jewish) partner and he went “she couldn’t have picked up a fucking marker??” and that was when it really hit me.

maybe she didn’t want to be in a situation where she drew a swastika on a jewish teachers whiteboard. ok. but she apparently didn’t consider the WORSE implications of asking that same jewish teacher to google an image of a swastika and project a google image search of a page FULL of swastikas on her board.

AND she never once checked in with me after that. she left the class without talking to me again and hasn’t said a word about it since. i remember i even asked her “do you want me to leave the room” beforehand because im thinking i don’t want to have to look at swastikas but she asked me to stay because “the impact is real and they need to see it” which. uh. i’ve been pushing this experience down for weeks bc at the end of the day it “wasn’t that bad” but like. holy shit. she really wanted to put my trauma on display for the students instead of just asking me to leave and explaining what a swastika is/showing them one. and it took her nearly ten minutes to get to the actual swastika!! i’m just. so done

.

[faerie-critical]

ok i know the sparklecare fandom is up in flames rn but i think this is the perfect time to explain why i hate sly/slite li ill !!! 😸😸😸

if you’re a major sly fan and defender (like most of the fandom) and you think this post will upset you, just keep scrolling because there’s no point in you reading this /lh

anyways now that everyone is here let’s go !! :D

⬇️⬇️⬇️

my biggest issue: she is a disgusting stereotype!!! i think it’s amazing that sparklecare and it’s aus have so much trans rep, especially transfems, but KC doesn’t always portray it properly!! and before you all come at me for being transmisogynistic or whatever, i am transfem.

let’s start with the hygiene thing. now, from personal experience, i completely understand how hard it can be to keep yourself clean and healthy as a trans, disabled, or mentally ill person!! i have gone long periods without showering or brushing my teeth, and i understand how much it can affect a person. however, my issue lies with how sly’s hygiene is treated. i’d get if it was mentioned once or twice as a character trait, but it’s genuinely almost her entire character. from the first chapter she’s constantly being made fun of for being unhygienic, stinky, etc, by both her family AND the askers.

a huge stereotype that transphobes associate with trans people, especially transfems, is being unclean. if you look at caricatures of trans women, they’re more than likely to be sweaty and dirty. this is a huge problem, as it can seriously affect real trans people and their reputation. and to have a transfem character be constantly scrutinized and laughed at for being unclean? that really sucks. like i said, if it was mentioned once or twice how she struggles, that’d be fine, but it is CONSTANT. there’s even multiple 5+ page updates of sly literally sobbing over needing to shower.

this isn’t the mentally ill representation you may think it is, this is just disgusting and extremely stereotypical. maybe im being an asshole but i really don’t think 99% of a transfem characters personality needs to be that she’s unhygienic.

my next point is the sex jokes. i get it. KC looooooves to turn everything into a sex joke. i have the same issue with uni, another transfem character who is constantly objectified, but im not gonna get into that. sly is Nothing but sex jokes, even from day one. she is constantly sexualized, or being painted as a pervert, which i shouldn’t have to say is a MAJORLY offensive transfem stereotype. transfems are constantly seen as perverts or even predators, and it’s fucking sickening to see transfem characters be sexualized so much in these comics. i don’t even have to explain what im talking about here, because if you’ve read cometcare you’d know how much of a walking sex joke sly is. also her paws are literally covered in burns from jacking off too much. that’s fucking insane.

also. this entire scene. (below) it wasn’t fucking funny at all 😭😭😭 also unrelated but i hate how often KC makes the joke of “barry embarrasses his kids by talking about their sex lives!!” it’s kinda weird!!!!

also a minor complaint but she’s just fucking annoying. like oh my god she’s so fucking annoying. im gonna sound like a major asshole but she’s such a crybaby it drives me insane holy fuckkkkkkk. Anyways i also hate how she’s treated as an uwu cinnamon roll who can do no wrong. but that’s just all the transfem characters

that’s all i’ve got for now. but my opinion will probably be 10x stronger as the comic progresses. im a hater and im proud! i don’t care who doesn’t like it :3

[darius-shack]

I haven't seen GF in years but was abruptly reminded a while ago and found your blog and your Pinecest+Stancest posts while looking at the Pinecest tag so I gotta share this plot that's now trapped in my brain. If I got the details about canon wrong, blame the passage of time, not me lol.

Ok I'm sure I'm not the only one who came up with that but: Mutually Unrequited/Pining Stans that both never acted on their feelings and spent the entire separation depressed about it and blaming the way they were hiding their feelings partially for how things went down. Enter Pinecest, only just clocking that this is Not Normal Sibling Feelings.

Stan encourages it when he first realizes it because he never got to even try, but maybe Mabel and Dipper can be happy. So he bullies any boys Mabel brings home, shuts down Dipper's flirt attempts with Wendy & Pacifica - Dipper catches on to his feelings first and wants to prove to himself that he's NORMAL OKAY??? he is, in fact, super not normal, but he'll scream that he is at the top of his lungs - and then Ford returns.

Ford also immediately catches on to Dipper's crush. Because he gets Dipper, and of course, he'd love his twin. He can't see Mabel's feelings as easily because he's insta-transferencing her and Stanley and the idea of her liking Dipper back is unfathomable (read: heartbreaking) because then it means perhaps Stanley could've loved him too.

But he cares about Dipper, so Ford thinks the best he can do is maybe help cut off those feelings at the knees before there's no going back for him, at least Dipper might not totally lose Mabel the way he and Stan thought they had lost each other, might eventually lead a normal non-recluse full of regrets life unlike them. So Ford offers to let Dipper stay without letting on his real reason to do so, and Mabel FLIPS OUT.

The thoughts have been building in the back of her head for a while, and she's suddenly confronted with what she never thought possible. Losing Dipper. And it hurts so so much and then Weirdmageddon comes and things go completely off the rails and now she knows she loves him but he's her brother, the world is ending and maybe he doesn't actually like her at all.

It ends with Dipper admitting to Mabel why he was even contemplating separation and Ford is trying to stop him while Stan has been working for this for months, damnit, and Ford's attempts at shutting the confession down just kill him. Dipper says it anyway, and Mabel thinks she's dreaming, but yeah, dummy, I love you too. How could you even think otherwise?

And seeing their dramatic first kiss totally guts Ford. He's happy for them, clearly, but he wants this oh so much and he can't have it. Stanley is shocked at how much Ford's affected by this development and things just blow up from there, and before either of them know it they're kissing.

Meanwhile Mabel and Dipper finally remember where they are and who they're with and fuck this is going to be difficult to explain - wait wtf GRUNKLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Well nothing they weren't right before that.

The rest of summer is an insanely awkward transition period where both couples are trying to work out how to deal with this new dynamic and what it means for their lives, especially for when Dipper and Mabel go back home. But everyone is insanely happy and when Dipper and Mabel come back to GF it's together, to a married couple of Grunkles (in everything except the eyes of the law).

And perhaps someday a - but lbr it'll be two - Pinecest Baby crawls around the Mystery Shack to everyone's delight...

ANON YOU'RE SO CRACKED AAAAAAAAH

such a cute premise of them finding out about each other's budding relationships despite the warnings from Ford and adamant attitude from Stan. SO good. flavor.

also implying that ford and stan were like watching/listening from around the corner or something is peak. honestly? this ask means so much to me.

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Red VS Blue, but make it Guild Wars 2

ok so i'm going to try and make this au make sense if you look at it from either side without prior knowledge of the other but theyre both so entrenched in my brain im not sure how well it'll work if you get lost im sorry in advance- or you can just enjoy the group piece and ignore the insane rambles below the cut! fair warning: its a lot! my red team yapping showing up in full force!

Don't say I didn't warn you :3

Context:

GW2 is a fantasy setting MMORPG, set in the world of Tyria. There are 5 playable races with their own unique cultures and such. I'm using the wikis for the races bc im lazy- the names are links to the proper wiki, but i've VERY ROUGHLY summarized for ease-

ASURA: The smallest playable race, Asura are highly intelligent and have a cultural focus on Academia and Research- furthering the reach of their magi-tech, sometimes at the cost of morals. Asura tend to be characterized as cocky intellectuals, who know more than everyone else in the room at any given time and they know it- but they're going to have a solution to a problem before you've finished explaining it.

CHARR: Giant anthropomorphic cats, the Charr are a militaristic race with a culturally cynical look on the world and a stubborn streak to match, and a general distrust of magic due to some Prior Circumstances. Charr tend to be characterized as gruff, fuck-around-and-find-out types, due to the military culture, and have more focus on their squad (warband) over individual relations.

HUMAN: On the surface, pretty par for the course here, but humans aren't actually native to Tyria- not that this stops them from being a cultural and territorial powerhouse in the setting. There is a fair bit of tension between humans and charr, and humans and some of the non-playable races in the game. Humans tend to be characterized as stubborn, tenacious and resourceful in a Tyrian context.

NORN: visually speaking, Norn appear to be giant humans, native to Tyria. Culturally speaking, Norn value honor and nature in equal measure- you should make a Legend for yourself, but you need to respect the Spirits of the Wild. Typically, norn are characterized as loud and boisterous, but reliable in a fight and always down to celebrate an impressive victory and share a story.

SYLVARI: The youngest race in Tyria, having only existed for about 25 years or so at the start of the game, Sylvari are plantfolk who Awaken from their mutually shared Dream as grown adults. The Dream gives sylvari the knowledge they need to function right out the gate, although the actual extent of said knowledge varies slightly by individuals, and is tended to by The Pale Tree (or the Pale Mother/Mother Tree, as sylvari know her)- sylvari follow a set of tenants given to them in the Dream that encourage compassion, kindness, and a drive to do what must be done called a Wyld Hunt.

__--__

RvB is a Halo machinima set in an appropriately sci-fi setting that is, above all else, fucking ridiculous. The plot, when it manages to exists in a semi-coherent fashion, focuses almost entirely on a band of absolute asshole idiots who cheat death as a hobby, swear a lot, and generally just would be unpleasant people to know but it is incredibly entertaining to put them into situations so that sums up the general vibe of the show. RvB is slightly less relevant to this au as the characters are what I'm yoinking and theyre all getting explained in their gw2 contexts here, but the main point is: the show is silly, and everyone in it is some brand of annoying, rude, mean, stupid or any combination there of. Also? Probably traumatized by war, whether or not they realize it. __--__

BORING STUFF OUT OF THE WAY ITS CHARACTER TIME __--__

THE GULCH KREWE - An Asura research team focused on making self sustaining golems. Technically Vic is the krewe lead, but he never seems to show up at their lab situated in the middle of no where for.... safety reasons. The official, documented by the asuran governement Gulch krewe is really incredibly small, at four asura strong, counting Vic even though there is quite a bit of debate on whether he actually counts since he's never around, but they have a reputation for being the worst krewe to work with. Ever. Of all time. Between reports of "unsafe necromantic practices" and general "workplace threats and harrassment", the only people who stay in the Gulch krewe have no where else to go. The "rank" nickname theme started mostly as a joke, but once it was started it was basically impossible to stop.

"Captain" Bucch Flowers - Asuran Necromancer - Asura, typically, do not have last names. Bucch, is not known for being the typical sort of asura. Eccentric and regarded as "morally questionable" by previous krewes, Bucch is a friendly individual who finds other people fascinating, both in terms of their psychology and physiology. He always has a smile on his face and a warm, cheerful demeanor that some people have claimed to be "unsettling", but I mean, really, he's just being nice. Right?

"Sarge" REDACTED - Asuran Engineer - Sarge took to his nickname with a brand of enthusiasm that really was just a warning to the kind of person he is, going so far as to have his previous name removed or changed on all documents he could. Loud, brash and unapologetic in everything he does, Sarge is the main "threat" of the Gulch Krewe between his wild experimental inventions, with their tendency to either go rogue against their creator or just plain blow up, his complete and utter lack of patience, and his habit of gesturing with his loaded shotgun during a conversation. His volume never drops below LOUD, but he's a very.. unique brand of genius who excels at making things that really shouldn't be physically possible work.

"Doc" Dufresne - Asuran Mesmer - Doc is, by all counts, the odd one out of the official Gulch krewe. Meek and empathetic in nature, Doc tends to be the moral voice of the krewe- one that often gets ignored. He is still annoyed by his ridiculous nickname, even if it is nice to have the affirmation that he really is part of the krewe. He's not even really a doctor! He's not great with medical care or technology. Or fighting. Or much of anything, if he lets himself be a little too honest. But he's part of the krewe, for better or for worse, and if that just means he uses his magic to pull his krewmates away from whatever is trying to murder them this week, then so be it.

The UNOFFICIAL Gulch krewe is a bit more.. diverse. Technically, non-asura don't get listed as krewe on the paperwork. They're hired help, not technically part of the team that gets credited for the work done in the published papers. Generally, this is because most hired hands don't have that much to do with the actual invention or research process- they're just there to be damage control when things go wrong. However with the Gulch krewe... a lot of things tend to go wrong. Technically speaking, there is no reason for a krewe of four three to have separate research teams. There is barely a reason for bigger krewes to do it. However... Captain Flowers and Sarge rarely seem to work on the 'technical' level of anything, and all it took was one offhanded comment from Vic (over comm, no less! couldn't even cause problems in person) for the pair of them to escalate and devolve into a rivalry that would ruin Doc's life, and the lives of pretty much everyone else who inevitably get swept up into it as well.

RED TEAM: Sarge claimed RED as his team color well before the idea of having color-coordination even occurred to Captain Flowers. Sarge claims he hired only the best to staff Red Team, with one exception for canon fodder.

Richard "Dick" Simmons - Human Elementalist - Born and raised in the upper ranks of human nobility, Simmons is a bit of a fish out of water when he's not in the human capital of Divinity's Reach. Of course, being an anxious individual with poor social skills, he didn't really fit in there either. He's got enough of the "I'm rich, you know," attitude held over from his upbringing that combined with a desire for praise, awkward conversation skills and the urge to prove his worth through his own intelligence, makes for a really obnoxious, know-it-all kissass of a man. But he's really good with technology, given his magic tends to prefer the buzz of electricity so that counts for something. Usually. He's not that bad once you get past the defensive nature and whiny voice. Probably?

Dexter Grif - Norn Warrior - With a hard earned feeling of "fuck it, fuck that, fuck this, I'm going to bed" that he trained into himself, Dex would have been perfectly content to spend his entire life lazing around his home city, Lion's Arch, scamming tourists and generally just kind of doing his own lazy thing. Or, at least, that's what he tells himself, as he has to look for actual work on the docks. It sucks. So when some loud mouth asura rocks up, shouting something Dex didn't really listen to beyond being a job, and a supposedly low effort one? Sign him the fuck up. But when the job is evidently not all naps and bored asura-watching, Dexter Grif will make his complaints known. Just... maybe not in range of Sarge's shotgun.

Donut - Sylvari Mesmer - Freshly Awakened, bright eyed, curious and endlessly talkative, Donut (Grif swears that can't be his real name, right?) is the Red team's resident socialite, sharpshooter, grenadier, portal expert and color coordinator. If you need something done, Donut is your man, or he can find you your man. While some people find his chipper attitude and love of 'dressing up' his friends with illusions annoying, and his tendency to veer into innuendos a bit awkward, everyone agrees it's hard to genuinely dislike Donut as a person. Maybe it's a mesmer thing, maybe it's a sylvari thing, maybe it's just Donut being Donut, it's hard to say. Despite his impeccable aim and frankly impressive throwing arm, Donut tends to be a little oblivious to the things right in front of him, but he's trying his best so most people tend to let it slide.

BLUE TEAM: Captain Flowers accepted BLUE as his team's color in good humor, as he tends to accept most things. He was not nearly as intense on his "requirements" for his team as Sarge- truthfully, most of Blue team were picked because Captain Flowers thought they were interesting more than anything to do with their actual skills.

Kaikaina Grif - Norn Elementalist - Kai has been called a lot of things, and not all of them flattering. Her personal favorites include sexy, wild, bodacious and "absolutely insane". She's a diverse gal. When her brother left Lion's Arch to go work for some mysterious asura in the middle of no where, Kai swore she didn't care. That lasted for all of a week, before she decided Dex was clearly up to something else and the asura job was a cover. Upon hunting her brother down and discovering, no really, it's literally what he said it was, she was disappointed. At least, until Captain Flowers offered her a position on Blue team. Being paid to stand around, look pretty, and bother her brother? Fuck. Yes.

Lavernius Tucker - Human Guardian - Growing up an orphan in Divinity's Reach makes a guy either really cruel or really clever. Tucker's never been the cruel type, so he went for clever instead. Though that quickly turned around to bite him in the ass, because being clever, and maybe a little bit of a smartass, means people notice you, and being noticed does not go well for him. Between at least one cult insisting he was some kind of savior from a forgotten bloodline, a jerk or three who didn't like Tucker outsmarting them or standing up for the people they were bullying, and whatever the hell is going on with his kid (courtesy of aforementioned cult), Tucker has more than had his fill of being noticed for being clever thank you very much. He just wants to find a quiet place to lay low and figure out this whole being a dad to a dragon thing. He's done being a hero and honestly he's done being helpful. Tucker's here to get paid, maybe get laid, and not get attached to anyone else that might screw him (or his kid) over.

Junior - Saltspray Dragon - Sort of a package deal with his dad, Junior is still figuring out the quirks and details of being a dragon in a society where 'dragon' is usually associated with the end of times, even for a "lesser" dragon like him. Fortunately, they're pretty solidly hidden in the middle of nowhere, so the only people around are friends of his dad's. Sort of. Junior is shy, generally, and tries to be careful with his size and his magic, but he's still a hatchling and sometimes it's real easy to get carried away when he's excited. Good news though! The Gulch krewe are well versed in shit breaking every other day, so no one gets too mad if something gets knocked off the shelf by his wings.

Church - Sylvari Thief - Some sylvari chose to cut themselves off from the Dream, in an effort to obtain either a sense of freedom from expectations, spite, or just a general desire for peace, quiet and solitude. While Church can certainly guess at his own, personal, reasons for becoming one of the Soundless, he sure as hell doesn't remember making the decision. Or much of anything, really, before about a week before he got hired onto Blue team. Just the name Church, which he can only assume is his name. He tells himself, amongst his internal tirades about his woes and his miseries, that Flowers hired him because he's smart and clearly the asura could see that. Not pity or anything like that. Still, it would be nice to actually remember literally anything. But Church doesn't complain about that- he's got more than enough things to bitch about from being part of the Blue team to distract his ego, his temper and his generally whiny attitude towards life in general. Who needs a past when you're surrounded by idiots?

Michael J Caboose - Norn Ranger- Never without his trusty arctodus companion, Freckles, Caboose is a joyful wall of muscle and hugs that frequently forgets that most people cannot, in fact, support the weight of him and his wolf-bear. Young and with no legend to speak of, Caboose is on a journey of his own making, to find friends that are just... so cool, everyone is going to want to hear stories about them! He just has the very very tricky job of remembering those stories. But hey, what are friends for, if not to help him when he forget a detail or twelve? And honestly, he thinks he found a GREAT group of friends here on Blue team. Sure they can be a little bit mean, but, Caboose has the heart of a skald according to the nice old ladies back home in Hoelbrak, and his heart knows when there's neat things

THE GOLEMS: The Gulch Krewe, official and unofficial, developed two more-or-less completely self-sustaining golems after splitting into their respective teams. They're not perfect, by any means, but they're certainly impressive to behold. Especially given that they both seem to be... well, people. That.. wasn't intentional.

Lopez - "Human" Engineer - Inspired by the dolls made by Tixx in the Infinirarium, Sarge chose to build a golem that looks almost human. His official logic claims that the more flexible build and increased intelligence allows for Lopez (Officially: L-0-PEZ - Lab-OH-Personalized Engineering Zoner. Sarge swears it makes sense. Red team is pretty sure he just made it up because he liked the name Lopez) to handle his own maintenance and upkeep, with improved head to body communication and modular independencies. The side effect of Lopez's "self repairing" abilities (read: his ability to take himself apart to put himself back together) is the fact that his body have very distinct seams, and he's prone to falling apart at them. His head coming off his neck is the worst and most common offender of this problem. Like most of Sarge's intelligent creations, Lopez has a sour attitude and very little respect for his creator. If you asked him, the only reason he sticks around is because it's easier to get his hands on the tools he needs to fix himself. That and no one else speaks Orrian since the continent and kingdom sank over 250 years ago. Well, no one besides Sheila.

Sheila - "Charr" Necromancer - Captain Flowers took a slightly more.. macabre approach to his golem creation. Made from the ethically and responsibly sourced bones of an anonymous charr donor (Captain Flowers's words), Sheila is a feat of magi-tech engineering and necromancy. Due to her... organic internal base, Sheila is much sturdier than your average golem for her size, and the necrotic magic that keeps her together and functioning needs almost no supervision, as it naturally drains minute fractions of life force from things around her, like non-sentient plants and insects. Though there are some... quirks, to be certain, but that's to be expected with such experimental magic! The days where she almost seems like a different person are most likely just her getting used to a shift in the magic, that's all. Nothing to worry about. Usually though, on her good days, Sheila is calm and patient, with a friendly attitude she seemed to pick up from Flowers, although somehow she's a bit better at reading a room than he is. She tends to be the most responsible and level head in the lab, which is fortunate considering she's also the biggest one there, excluding Freckles.

__--__

THE LANCER WARBAND: A tight knit charr warband, working outside of the charr legions mostly for decent pay and interesting jobs, the Lancer warband are skilled fighters, excellent hunters and all around impressive soldiers. Their one weakness? Their inability to get anything done without either a fight or fair bit of chatter (and the occasional argument leading to the fights) first. But once they've settled on an objective, they're nigh unstoppable.

York - Charr Engineer - By far the most laid back and easy going of the Lancer warband, York is the resident gunsmith, philosopher, mechanic and lockpick. If it requires nimble fingers (or claws, rather), York's got it covered. While he tends to be the chattiest of the bunch and that makes him seem distractable, York is often laser focused on his task- he just doesn't feel the need to act like he's focused. He's curious and honest in nature, and is always quick to come up with a joke to lighten a heavy mood.

Maine - Charr Warrior - Silent and deadly are the words most commonly used to describe Maine- not that they would ever come from him. Massive even by charr standards, Maine is brutal and efficient in a fight. By the time an enemy has seen his white fur, they're already screwed. Outside of combat, when it's just the warband, Maine still isn't a talkative sort of guy. He prefers to stand back and let the rest of them talk for him, with a few exceptions.

Washington - Charr 'Thief' (unrealized revenant) - Originally the 'cub' and rookie of the Lancer warband, Wash has earned his stripes as it were for his cunning adaptability on the field and his almost ridiculous good luck when it comes to survival. While he tries to be kind and compassionate when he can, he's more on the pragmatic side than he used to be, and he can't always balance being nice with being realistic. Still, Wash has a sarcastic streak big enough to give York a run for his money, and enough sharp wit and sharper knives to keep just about anyone else on their toes.

Texas - Charr Warrior - A bit of a badass, Tex is the Lancer warband legionnaire and easily the best fighter of them all. She's harsh, even to her own warband, but she cares more than she likes to let on. However, her temper tends to get the best of her, and she frequently works alone to blow off steam. The last time she left... she didn't come back.

South - Charr Necromancer - One of the twins, South is aggressive, impatient and vicious just as much as she is efficient with her magic. She's a survivor and despite her bitchy attitude and general disregard for the rest of her warband, she gets shit done. Maybe a little meaner about it than she needs to be but hey, it's done right? Who cares if a little more blood was spilled or if a few more punches were thrown than were strictly necessary.

North - Charr Guardian - The other twin, North couldn’t be more different from his sister. He’s gentle, understanding and tries to be a shoulder to lean on for anyone who needs it, not just their bandmates. Granted, sometimes this does get him punched, but his kind nature doesn’t stop him from giving as good as he gets. He’s a skilled marksman with a longbow, and his calm nature helps him keep a level head in a fight- useful, when you specialize in placing traps.

'Honorary' warband: When their Legionnaire, Tex, mysteriously vanishes, the Lancer warband is left fumbling in the wake. Fortunately, they have friends they can trust to help them get their bearings.

Carolina - Human 'Warrior' (unrealized Revenant) - not the step dad but the dad who stepped up Carolina has been a fighter and a soldier her whole life, or very damn near it. While not raised to quite the same degree of military as the average charr, her mother ran a tight ship of their home and after her passing, her father ran it even tighter. Her friendship with the Lancer warband started with a night of mildly drunken chaos with York, after which she kept in close contact with the charr. Intense in every factor, loyal, and more than a little competitive, Carolina thrives in combat situations that demand the most of her, which makes her a fast friend for the rowdy warband. Without Tex, the Lancer warband needed a leader, and Carolina stepped into the role of unofficial legionnaire as easily as donning her helmet. While comparisons between herself and Texas make her uneasy, she does admit she likes the feeling of being 'Boss' with the charr.

Reggi "Wyoming" - Asuran Mesmer - Reggi is a bit of an odd ball and a loner before he begins spending time with the Lancer warband. He enjoys a good pun and a bad knock-knock joke, but his disinterest in most scientific endeavors left him with little opportunities within asura society. So he left, took his humor and not much else with him, and has been something of a drifter ever since, more interested in taking care of himself above all else. While the Lancer warband may groan and scoff at him from time to time, they do work well with him, and even a selfish bastard like him needs back up from time to time.

[princessofghosts-posts]

If you scrolled enough on this page you know that no character is safe from me when it cames to Nico's mistreatment. Not even Chiron.

I have a very grey opinion of him,I don't hate him but I also don't like him. He is in the middle of tolerance for me,because let's be honest,the guy made some questionable decisions during PJO for being the millennial teacher of legendary heroes and head of the only demigods's greek camp for years.

I see a lot of criticism about the "No one told Nico that his sister died,they were waiting for me to do so." scene,which is a good thing because it's fucked up. Chiron is the adult here,but he didn't do shit and waited for an already stressed and guilty Percy to tell the news. And while I love Nico with all of my heart and understand that he was extremely hurt by Bianca's death,telling Percy that he should have be him to die is just adding to his trauma. The poor boy is barely 14,saw 2 people he went on a quest with die (and he already bleamed himself for their death,even tho it's not his fault,before this) and had a whole rollercoaster for his mission to save Annabeth,while dealing with camp being shit to him because Thalia was back. And what does Chiron do? Instead of helping him,he give him another emotional draining moment with a 10 years old that had to process his older sister died and now he's alone,without a family. Great job Chiron,couldn't do it better.

And when Nico run away? Percy and Annabeth were the only one searching for him at the start,but when they went to Chiron and explained the situation (without telling about his parentage),he just went on with a "Oh poor soul,hoping that he will be eaten by the monster instead of joining Luke's side." Like,what the fuck? Who the fuck say that about a 10 years old to an another child,that even tried to get him back multiple times while the adult didn't do shit? Chiron,you good here? Because I'm pretty sure that this isn't the way you need to behave with children: who cares if they are demigods,heroes,war veterans or whatever else,they are all children. It's already rare to live past 16,18 if you get lucky,don't treat them like shit.

Nico was alone in a place he didn't know,and we all know the forest isn't a safe place even if it's inside camp (look what happened during Percy's first year there-). Instead of trying to do something he just goes on with his no sense. He didn't even try to do something about it. Percy and Annabeth did. Chiron need to thanks Nico's golden heart, otherwise it wasn't going to end nicely. And beside,I'm pretty sure that being eaten alive by a monster is worst than working with other demigods for a Titan that isn't even back yet. Chiron you need to check your priorities here. Also the irony that Nico wasn't eaten or joined Kronos,and just did his own things alone in THE Labyrinth,one of the most dangerous place for demigods,will always be funny to me.

But really,where is his teacher's wisdom at? Chiron trained so many heroes for all of his life,and now that it cames to modern children,or pre-teens,he don't know what to do or how to act? This is insane even for their standard.

And even tho he is the "legal guardian" of the camp,he still doesn't do much for Camp Half-Blood. Talking with the people that suspect something? Ok. Pretending to be someone's guardian to avoid them trouble? Fine. Help maintain camp's coverage as a strawberry field? Sure. Calling for reinforcements during a war? Thanks. Making the demigods respect camp's rules? Alright. Teaching some classes there and here? Good.

But these are simple things and quite frankly the bare minimum he should do. The demigods are all abandoned to themselves,by both their parents and even by the one that should help them. He isn't the worst,but he also isn't the best.

When Thalia come back,he favored her to Percy in any way possible,and the whole "She might be the child of the profecy since she is going to turn 16 in a bit." excuse is bullshit. Luke was not even half done with his planning during TTC,the real game started at the half of BotL,so it was impossible for him to be already ready for the final battle. They all knew that,Thalia too. But no,Chiron decided to focus more on her and ignore Percy,when he could have teached both of them. Again,thanks Chiron,such a good teacher you are.

There are moments where he comes in clutch: during SoM he is the one that save them from Luke's ship,and in TLO he calls for reinforcement during the battle against Kronos,and he is kinda there if some demigod wants to talk to him. But again,most of those things are bare minimum.

I don't hate him,but I just don't understand why he is so well liked when all of the time he just does....nothing? And give Percy more stress and problems (And basically hoped that Nico would be eaten-).

[luckyshouse]

the reason why fetish art and acceptance of sexuality is so insanely important is because shame is what drives the pedophile. shame and secrecy, they never learn to look their sexual expression in the face and never learn how to engage with it in an adult way with other adults. and that is partially due to the shame and harassment put onto people with strange and unusual kinks and fetishes, and partially due to their own trauma and refusal to admit that they are a sexual being and have agency over their sexuality. one thing i've noticed about all groomers and all pedophiles is that they act as if their kinks, fetishes, and sexual needs are uncontrollable. a separate part of them. something uncontrollable and something that will exist no matter what. i believe this is also why there has been very little success when it comes to rehabilitating known pedophiles, especially when considering once you do something once, it opens up the doors to continuing the same behavior because you got away with it before. but the thing is, sexuality will always, always be fluid, and people need to channel that into something else in an adult way. your sexual needs ARE your regular needs, they are the same as any other desire or need, and they can be shifted or changed when you actually care about the people you are affecting. there are so many people on this website right fucking now who are my age, and my heart bleeds for them because i know what the internet is like. i know what it is like to be bombarded by constant disgusting sexual content from as soon as you can read, its something i'm very aware of. and these people are being told that theres no fixing their sexuality, that these genuinely malicious fetishes and kinks that were pushed onto them as children have caused them to be forever pedophiles. and that they need to convince people that thats okay. but what they need is for someone to sit them the fuck down and explain to them that what they are doing is literally actively creating more people like them right now, that their CP and their incest work is literally at this moment being used to groom more kids into thinking this is ok. they need to be sat down and explained to that yes kinks and fetishes are entirely normal, they are something you should learn to incorporate into your life and expression and identity if you feel the need, they are things you need to talk to with OTHER real adults about. because we are animals, we are sexual beings by nature, and it is important for human development to open up these conversations. but shame and regret and untreated trauma keeps these people in these cycles of trying to justify some SERIOUSLY egregious shit just so they can get off without examining their trauma, or examining WHY they're getting off to this in the first place. i honestly find it really deplorable. i thought we were supposed to be the ones ensuring this shit wouldn't ever happen again to kids, and yet here we are, 2024, all the people i grew up with who i saw get groomed over and over and over and over on this website are now making posts about how looking at pictures of children getting fucked and reading stories about a brother preying on his sister is completely fucking normal. i'm sorry to burst your bubble, it isn't. your posts stink of untreated, unexamined trauma, you have let yourself become a slave to your libido that isn't even yours anymore. i don't know how to explain to these people that i am not conservative for saying this, and i don't know how to explain to these people that incest and pedophilia is literally the white mans tool for purity and control. it isn't kinky fun time, it isn't just a devious taboo. grow the fuck up. it is a white supremacy tool that was used AGAINST you to indoctrinate you and you fell for it hook line and sinker and are now trying to convince people you aren't guilty. you are. and you will be guilty until you take a moment to step back and look at yourself in the eyes, and ask yourself why that specific power dynamic is seemingly the ONLY thing that can get you off.

There are plenty of other fetishes and kinks that have almost the exact same sort of power dynamic, the same sort of humiliation or control or risque-ness out there. The issue is, these things ARE actually taboo, they are seen as the ACTUAL SEXUAL DEVIANCE, because they are intrinsically connected to art and homosexuality. that's how i know none of you mean anything you actually say, i know that none of you actually give a fuck about human psychology or "pro-kink" or anything like that because you straight up only use the excuses you use to get away with your fictional CP. i want there to be a happy ending for us, i want there to be spaces for us to express ourselves, i want to see people learn to interact with sexuality in a healthy and fun and unique way. I am so fucking tired of seeing my entire peer group take the tools that rich white pedophiles have pushed onto us and use it on eachother and younger generations. it makes me sick to my fucking stomach. Grow up. Get into other things. Stop trying to get other people to manage your trauma for you. I do not forgive you, and your posts attempting to shove your guilt onto me mean fucking nothing. You can only say "you sound like a conservative homophobe" so many times to me without sounding actually fucking insane, knowing my pedophile conservative father would be patting you on the back knowing he taught you well. You're a coward. I want to see you grow a pair.

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

and found - outtakes

Hey, folks, I have weathered the first feast holiday of my winter season and had a super breakfast, and now I have to be at work but there's obviously nothing doing so it's time to post a couple of things that got cut from "and found," generally due to lack of narrative space for them.

***

girlboss

“Jiao Liqiao did some incredibly out of pocket shit, but she was kind of a girlboss. Or at least she knew how to be straightforward about, like, ‘hey, Di Feisheng, I want to tie you up and have insane sex with you.’”

Di Feisheng lets out a startled cough. “You're overestimating her willingness to explain anything ever.”

“Well, ok, yeah, but she knew what she wanted and she did something about it and I respect that as someone else who would, like, commit serial murders to hang onto you. And like. She looked at you and said, man, he's super hot and good at kung fu, the dick must be insane, and it's not like she was wrong.”

This time it's Fang Duobing's turn to cough, as Di Feisheng transitions into looking smug. “She had y–h–Bicha poison?”

“Oh, and god forbid women do anything.” Xiangyi glances at them and then cackles. “No, I mean, don’t get me wrong, if I could time travel I’d break her fucking jaw, but game recognize game.”

“I don’t. I don’t think that phrase applies here? Since you’re not evil?”

“You are seriously underestimating the degree to which you both make me feel like an insane person, if something happened to either of you nothing could get between me and the nuclear launch codes.”

“The. The Secret Service?”

“Shifu. I could take them! You don’t think I could beat up the entire Secret Service?"

Di Feisheng snorts. “And you worry about me getting on watchlists.”

***

“Of all of the technological innovations you’ve seen over the course of your life so far, what would you say is your favorite?”

(this one isn't even an outtake, it's just something I wrote down because it was funny even though there's never been a spot in the story where I could start having Xiangyi shoot interview questions at various immortals)

Fang Duobing: “I really like typewriters? Fountain pens were good, but getting a typewriter was game-changing.” (“Not word processors?”) “I mean. A word processor is fine, but it doesn’t go click in the same way.”

Di Feisheng: “Motorcycles.”

Wen Kexing: “Zippers are the greatest invention of the past eight hundred years. Although blenders are also good.”

Zhou Zishu: “Milkshakes and smoothies, any frozen drink. Unless that doesn’t count as technology, in which case hydroponics.”

Jing Beiyuan: “Hm. Noise-cancelling headphones. And there have been significant advances in the field of sex toys that I really appreciate, but I doubt you want to hear about that.”

Wu Xi: “Noise-cancelling headphones. Rubber gloves. Poison control hotlines.” (“You think of poison control hotlines as a technological innovation? What are they an improvement over?”) “They’re better than waking me in the middle of the night because some idiot’s eaten something they shouldn’t.”

Orlando: “Photography, and I do appreciate how easy it is to bathe now.”

Kenzaki Kazuma: “I mean, I haven't actually lived longer than a normal human yet, but smartphones are great.”

Kurenai Gai: “Ramune.”

Hob Gadling: “Modern painkillers are incredible, do you know what I would have given in the 1500s to be able to go round the corner store and get a bottle of paracetamol?”

Wen Ning: “Electric lighting is really nice.”

Song Lan: [ text messaging ]

Xiangyi: “If we don't get flying cars in the next hundred years or so I’m fully going to throw a tantrum. Unless Elon Musk is involved. Hey, A-Fei, can we kill Elon Musk?” (“You have a major study running right now.”) “Well, yeah, obviously we’d do it after that.”

***

Ultraman

Xiangyi bats his hand away without looking at the screen. “Cut it out, illegal to be horny at me during Ultraman time.”

Di Feisheng raises an eyebrow. “You said earlier that Ultraman makes you horny.”

“Which is true, and I stand by it, but this rise is important to the whole, like, emotional arc of the show and I don't want to miss it.”

“Not that I’m not enjoying this show, but I didn't think these aired in the USA.” Fang Duobing adjusts his glasses, apparently fascinated as he watches the transformation sequence. “How did you get to be such a big fan?”

“Oh, Uncle Xun had a couple of the old shows on, like, laserdisc, Yuze and I used to stay up all night watching them when we were kids. We got in fights about which one to put on, even, because he always wanted to watch Return because he has no fucking taste but then he’d make fun of me for wanting to watch Ace because he thought it ‘wasn’t fun’ or some shit.”

“I’ll be honest, I don't recognize any of those names? I watched the original show when it first aired, and Ultra Q before that, but then after that I was busy doing other things, so I never got around to watching anything after those. Didn't see the point, anyway, since Eiji had died, it felt weird watching his thing without him working on it.”

Xiangyi freezes, reaches for the remote very slowly, pauses the show, and turns. “Xiaobao, are you saying you knew Tsuburaya Eiji?”

Fang Duobing blinks. “Yes? Him and Kinjo Tetsuo, they were good men. I spent a few decades living in Japan mid-century.”

“What were you doing there?”

“Ah…sabotaging warships and fighter planes, mostly. Well, until I got arrested. I broke out, of course, but I couldn't manage to get out of the country, so I was living under an assumed name for a while, and then there was. I mean. I…” He trails off, looking haunted. “It's hard to stay angry at an entire country after you see something like that happen. So…I stayed. Someone always needs a doctor. I’d rather not talk about it. Ah, so, I set up a practice and one day a couple of men came in and asked if I’d come with them because there’d been an accident, and when we got there the first thing I saw was a monster? It was very startling.”

Xiangyi realizes that he's been holding his breath. “Was it Godzilla?”

“No, ah, Rodan. Anyway, someone had a sprained ankle and once I’d gotten it wrapped up I said, what were they doing here, and they said they were making a movie, and here was the man who’d designed the monster and he wanted to know what I thought of it, since apparently the face I’d made was very funny.” Fang Duobing smiles fleetingly. “I kept hanging around because safety standards in filmmaking at the time were…not good.”

[bubbipond]

I’m sorry but what was I supposed to get from their mom’s speech? Normally I am able to tolerate parents even when they suck in Asian Bl’s because I acknowledge that cultures are different and how you see your parents will be different based on that. But what exactly was the point of this??

First of all, Yotha saying sorry? Why? What was there to be sorry for? Because he didn’t talk to the woman that abandoned him and then raised his brother and sent him back like he had a return policy??? And I just feel like it makes no sense to Yotha’s character because he is insanely protective of Fai. He was literally pissed that he wanted the lesser bed in the beginning of their episodes, but you mean to tell me I’m supposed to believe he’s just so OK with the woman who very literally is ruining his brother’s mental health??? He and Newton also KNOW that Fai is scarred from being sent back. So I don’t really understand the decision to have Yotha be so apologetic and see her in this new light? So everything is cool in Yotha’s eyes because he’s in fact the favorite? That literally makes no sense.

I realize Newton isn’t a central character but can we discuss how apathetic he looks about all this??? He seemed so unmoved by their mom and like he truly does not care. Which is another form of trauma and ptsd. He is seemingly quite a bit older than Yotha/Fai so even if he is 2-5 years older, that means he was quite an older kid when his mom ABANDONED them. To the point where he has become apathetic towards the entire situation. Except in his personal life where he admitted that he does not try to find love. Oh, and keep in mind he runs a bar, but all he ever does at his bar is drink??? The man is not OK.

Finally, the best character in the entire show was just told fuck you by his mom and nobody in that room flinched. It looks like Newton may have caught it but I can’t be 100% sure. It does appear that he is the only one who sees Faifa literally drowning in tears but who knows.

Fai has been walking around, not fully understanding why he was sent back just to be told that he was basically sent back so she could come back and vie for Yotha’s attention??? Plus a part of him must have known that she actually favored Yotha because he says it before she even explained it. Not to mention, I don’t even understand the whole, “ I wanted to go back” thing from their mom because why not leave them all, and still come back when you could??? What did taking one of them have? If they were all home, you could have still come back.??? I would have given it to her if she acknowledged her selfishness and past mistakes and said that there is no difference between her boys. Hell, I would have accepted her being like , “I was young and stupid and I will do anything to reconnect with all of you”. But instead, she’s like, “ oh yeah, I’m moving to England, wasn’t gonna tell any of you, was going to tell your dad who I’m supposed to hate (????), then book it to England without a word with my actual kids… but this works too” eYE.. Now I am forced to watch 6+ episodes of Fai liking a guy and helping him get with another guy. Please…tell me this is where I die because I hate this whole thing...

[earthtoharlow]

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous Chapter

yourinsta just posted to their story!

THESHADEROOM

liked by 478,085 users

theshaderoom: #TSRBreakups: Looks like things may be over for #Drake and #Y/N Y/L. According to @tmz_tv, the two have separated after almost two years of dating. The former couple share a child together.

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user: ok maybe she’s the problem

user: probably because she’s fucking that Urban guy

user: we been knew she never keeps a man

user: Y/N just wakes up one day and be like “unhand me, get out.”

user: She really hasn’t been the same since Jack

user: what if Jack is her soulmate

user: she just needs to focus on herself and be the best mom she can be

user: Jack is unusually quiet during all this

THATGIRLSTACEY

liked by jackharlow, cassie, iamkaylanicole, joiechavis, diddy, ladylondon, meekmill, djdrama and 697,368 others

thatgirlstacey: “Willow darling, go grab daddy’s Amex and tell him you’re going shopping with mommy cause we have some celebrating to do” 🤣❤️‍🔥

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user: your karma is coming bitch just wait

user: nasty individual

user: teaching your daughter how to be a hater and a weirdo….?

user: Y/N put her through hell and now she can celebrate her downfall????

user: caption crazy 🤣

user: anyone scared of how Jack is going to react

user: notice how you asked Willow to get Jack’s card and not yours, cause you’re broke!!

YOURINSTA

liked by urbanwyatt, flomillishit, summerwalker, saweetie, kehlani, druski, 1dessdior and 789,468 others

yourinsta: Broke up with em and a bitch just got badder

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user: um

user: so tmz was right damn

user: don’t tell me Drake fumbled!!!

user: the baddest 🔥

saweetie: love you sister ❤️‍🔥

user: well that explains why she didn’t publicly wish him a happy Father’s Day

user: damn well anyway it’s my turn

user: you can not keep a man to save your life on god

user: man fuck all that noise!! You look fine af

user: single looks good on you

user: that momma weight 🥰

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

Liked by neelamthadhani, icespice, partynextdoor, chubbsview, ayeshacurry,nemoachida, thedanielclark, druski, and 1,425,116 others

champagnepapi: There’s no ribbon givin’ to anyone that you dealt with. No badge of honor, no ceremony or benefits, I gotta start us up a support group with a membership.

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URBANWYATT

liked by yourinsta, selenosunni, joeywagner, cozane, yungmiami305, SZA, dojacat, jharlowupdates, and 467,086 others

urbanwyatt: when you convince your best friend and god daughter to leave Canada and move in with you in Kentucky >>>

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user: Jack still hasn’t said anything y’all, I’m scared

user: Y/N back in Kentucky???? Stacey and Jack are going crazy I’m sure

yourinsta: don’t know what i’d without you 🥹

user: Stacey will be commenting in…

user: 3…2…1

thatgirlstacey: you got a lot of nerve! this exactly why Jack isn’t speaking to you…what kind of friend are you

thatgirlstacey: glad you’re out our lives

thatgirlstacey: never liked you

user: that didn’t take long

user: oh the karma that’s gonna hit Stacey is going to be amazing

urbanwyatt: won’t engage with the foolishness going on in my comments but I will say this. I’ll go to war for @yourinsta and if you got a problem with her you have a problem with me. Don’t need anyone in my life that doesn’t love or appreciate her

user: FINISH HER!!!

user: I know she’s sitting there gagged 🤣🫵

user: GET HER AGAIN FOR ME!

***

An: hated breaking them up i really did, I promise :) Who leaked the voicemail any guesses??? 🫣 Months ago an anon gave me the idea of a voicemail leaking, kisses to you anon 🫶

also a bitch just hit 900 followers that’s insane!!!! thank you all so much I can't believe this 🥹🫶 thanks to everyone who reads, comments, likes my work. It means so much to me

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[furiroad]

Furiosa spoilers under the cut 🚗

It's actually staggering how much that movie did not need to exist. Gonna bullet point some thoughts

My sarcastic lol @ the lightning fast sisters cameo at the end where they're all played by completely different people. the quick flash of Cheedo's eyes bc they managed to get Courtney Eaton back for three seconds didn't appease me

I guess it technically passes the bechdel test bc right at the start Furiosa says "be still" to Valkyrie but iirc that's the only pass moment. I know not passing the bechdel test doesn't mean the movie is automatically bad I just think it's interesting considering it's following Fury Road

"she talks to her mother" I don't think they ever said her mum's name out loud

You know how mad max fury road could have a silent version w no dialogue + isolated soundtrack and it worked because you could tell what's going on anyway? This movie has the opposite problem. Way too much talking. They over-explain everything

The best bit was the prolonged torture scene at the end where Hemsworth explains Furiosa's entire character arc and the message of the movie out loud to her and also us

Even his teddy had an arm missing, replaced with a barbie arm. Thanks. We get it

Her arm made robot noises

Actually threw MY arms up in disgust when she went back for that boy she supposedly had a romance with despite the film never bothering to actually show/explain that. I'm calling it a romance because the actors did. I guess it was supposed to be a Capable/Nux parallel but it didn't work for me and not just because I'm a dyke and a hater OK, if you're gonna do a ROMANCE, DO A ROMANCE. don't leave me sitting there wondering why Furiosa is risking it all for some guy she's had ONE conversation with, especially after he offers to get her away from the Citadel and back to where she came from, WHICH IS HER ENTIRE MOTIVE EVER SINCE SHE WAS TAKEN

I DON'T GET IT

Them trying to emulate Max and Furiosa's instinctive, perfect we have to trust each other moment by having Jack and Furiosa... look at each other Meaningfully fifty times while they were supposed to be driving cars? Don't make me laugh! You will never be them!!

Max being there for a second wasn't cute! I rolled my eyes

Same at "remember me?" MAKE UP YOUR OWN STUFF

So many things happened because they needed to happen (plot demanded it) and didn't make any sense in context. My favourite was when Furiosa rode her motorcycle up a dune to get away after cutting off her arm and the biker gang couldn't follow her up there for some reason

So much Christian imagery... threw me off tbh

Considering it's Furiosa's movie it sure isn't about her + she doesn't speak at all for almost the first half

This movie was way too long

I called it about the peach seed

I called it that she cut her own arm off

George Miller read some of my blog but not all of it

You know how The People Eater rubbed his nipple that one time and it was delightfully weird and gross and got a good reaction? Well in this movie he's constantly rubbing it, the whole time. Really lessens the impact of the nipple rub

As you can see this movie has made me insane

Like this is not really about the nipple rub but do you get what I'm saying here

Furiosa spends most of the movie hiding her hair (because as we all know, having long hair immediately identifies you as a woman) and then when her head covering gets knocked off and her hair is revealed (omg she's a girl) she leaves it like that and becomes an Imperator. On what planet

The history man frames the entire movie for some reason. Do they show Miss Giddy? Take a wild guess

One of the coolest parts of fury road was that a gang of bikers ended up being hardcore wasteland grannies w guns and loose morals in response to people fucking around for far too long without finding out. Did this movie have anything like that for me? Take a wild guess for a second time

The car fight scenes weren't even that great. Couldn't remember hearing any good music under them (brother in arms truly lightning in a bottle) and they went on for too long which feels wild to say about suped up car battles in the australian wasteland: 2 but oh well. This is how I feel. Fury Road was so good at carefully measuring out high octane action and then downtime and careful, quiet character introspection and this movie had no idea what it was doing either way

Honestly I don't hate it but I feel like it was a waste of time and it doesn't need to exist at all. A real nothing experience. Am I going to see this movie ten times in cinemas? No I am not even going to see it twice in cinemas

I don't know what I was expecting.

oh my god also they played clips of Fury Road over the credits as if to say "remember how fucking good this is in comparison to the dumb shit you just watched"

[esquie]

I must know now…what do you consider a true hear me out 🎤 (not hate, I agree with ur takes but I love insane hear me outs)

what i consider a true hear me out? but not necassarily my own.. i'm going to roll with that ok ok so

to me a hear me out cannot have anything one would consider conveniently attractive. this means any humanoid body shape with "good" attractive proportions is instantly out. that roughly female looking monster with a thin waist and wide hips? OUT. that roughly male looking monster with a thin waist broad shoulders and big biceps? OUT!

same with faces. if the face is human enough and it looks like an attractive person. it's out. so on this... characters like pyramid head and lilith dialbo are out. they are monstery, but they are "weak" hear me outs. because ur average joe can find something hot on that design.

SO. a true hear me out has to not look at all like a hot person. easy. can they look like a person in general? in my opinion... not really? once you get humanoidy you can find things to relate to and it becomes more comfortable. you see what i'm saying? like. barry the fucking bee is not a good hear me out. he has a human face and human hair, he moves, talks, acts, very human. that woman is not out there for wanting to fuck the bee. she's actually kind of boring.

^ this is just a boring white man in a bee body

that gets us into the ones that aren't human. now it's a little harder to explain... but lets use something like.. diego from ice age. or his girlfriend. who's name i don't know.

these are animal designs designed to be attractive. we have all seen them. i don't think i have to explain. so these to me as also bad hear me out's. she has eyeliner, ok? he has one of the most typically attractive sauve deep voices given to a character ever. i grew up with friends who roleplayed wolves and dinosaurs and all my girl friends were in love with diego. it was by design.

so. we need to look for... ugly designs. ugly is hear me out? what kind of ugly? non-conveniently attractive? see, this just sounds like shit. this isn't what i consider hear me out. something you find ugly does not necassarily mean it's a good hear me out if someone else finds it attractive. we have to go DEEPER than ugly. we have to go for disgusting. disturbing. uncomfortable.

HOWEVER! it's still not that simple. how does this disgusting creature/monster BEHAVE? does it behave in a way you could see as human? calling back to barry the fucking bee, who is ugly, disgusting, disturbing AND uncomfortable. he's too human. he BEHAVES human! so.

so if we combo these things up...

the predator without it's mask is pretty gross.

your average joe is not gonna find something sexy in this. MASK ON? yeah, yeah they will. mask off? no. BUT. THE PREDATOR IS NOT A GOOD HEAR ME OUT. why? because of how it behaves. it's a macho man. it's a hunter. it's got a big buff man body (pyramid head core!) and it's a manly macho hunter. i know a lot of grown ass normal ass cishetero women who are down bad for the predator and wanted the human and the predator to make love in aliens vs predator BECAUSE... predators are just sexy men. with a gross face under a cool mask.

now let us talk about fish man from shape of water.

it behaves like an animal. we can't deny that. it's not human-y. it's animal-y. it's a creature. i saw people (normies) uncomfortable with this romance because it wasn't human Enough. some people got weird vibes from it. HOWEVER. it just has a human body, yknow? normal enough face. normal enough body. when she holds it, it's a proper hug, a proper cuddle. they touch hands and faces and it's very... normal. it's not abnormal. to me, fish man is not a good hear me out. too human-y.. in body/design. behaviour is hear me out, but otherwise no. if maybe it was more.. gross? maybe extra slimey? fish mouth? yknow? add some "uncomfy".. but no. no. you were supposed to want them to get together, it had to be attractive.

i think we have the criteria i hold now, right?

a good hear me out has to make the average joe uncomfortable with your choice. they'd judge you for it. see you differently for it. the kind of hear me out you would not admit somewhere your full name and face is. unless you're just. madly confident.

so one could go "well xenomorph is all that? very creature blahblah-" NO. WE ALL KNOW H.R GIGER WAS HORNY. his art was erotic! the xenomorph was designed TO BE EROTIC! it does not count. it's too sexy. too sleak, too Perfect. i remember when people really wanted to push the xenomorph in alien sexually assaulted a female character using alien isolation as proof because they found the creature so sexually charged but of course it would... be sexual! look back to diego and his gf. the xenomorph is a more ... grown up version of this. you know?

we can also take away some "human" points if the design is truly uncomfortable.

so... some examples? yeah we need examples.

^ this is a good hear me out. that's a man's head. but do you wanna fuck that? if you do... you got a hear me out on your hands. no one is hearing you out, btw. they're leaving the room even.

how about the absolutely horrible worms with teeth leech things from peter jacksons king kong? you wanna get the succ from that? you got a hear me out, my friend! we will not listen. we are giving you a funny face.

how about basket case?

what about sarah from the void?

we could go on. but i think this explains what i think a true hear me out is. do i have a true hear me out? nope. i really don't. my most hear me out is probably.. ifrit from ffxiv?

do i think this is a good one? not at all. basically a dragon without wings. got the same kind of vibe of people who like werewolves (which i do too). this isn't a good hear me out. i was open about ifrit being my husband in ffxiv, and a lot of people were like yeah sure. it was rare for me to find people like uuhhh that's weird! they could see my vision, even if they did not understand...

i'm also into the bracken, and i had a few Okay Fray... Sure.... responses, but the bracken is so popular there were flood of porn art of it on twitter when lethal company came out, AND THEN A VISUAL NOVEL TO ROMANCE ONE!!!!!! it's just kind hot to a lot of people. a bad hear me out. i'm too generic....

tldr................

if most can see the vision..... i don't think it's a good hear me out. if only a few people can.... yeah, yeah, i do think it's a good one.