#.....thinking on it; it might not be the fact that it's longer (!!) but because it doesn't have any product in it

[lologoinsolo]

Cats and Their Men Masterlist, Part 5, Part 6

You can’t seem to think without debating over what you said to Kyle. Needless to say, you feel like you got in your head over it. Maybe he meant it and it wasn’t a pity ask or maybe it was. You don’t know. Kyle doesn’t seem like the type to do that to a lady. He’s sweet, and genuinely funny and handsome and kind an—

“Dude,” Jess comes from the grooming salon as you bang your head against the reception table. You were cold calling but your mind had other ideas. “You look like shit.” Normally you’re more focused on your work but it’s just Kyle, Kyle, Kyle— Remember what you said to Kyle?

Sighing defeatedly, “gee, thanks.” Hitting your head again and again on the firm table. Your forehead throbs when you finally give it rest. “I feel like shit.” You’ve been a zombie at work, you don’t speak much about your home life. You try to keep that separate from the job because you don’t want to drag it in here. It’s not your fault that a stupidly handsome man with an equally stupidly charming smile looked at you the way he did. So why do you feel so hung up about it?

“So…” She asks after a moment of far too much silence. “How’s the calling going?”

“Oh, it’s going.” Groaning softly, “not many people are answering. Some said they wanted to come in but not for today.” Some even started bitching about their previous grooms but you muted them until they finished and still asked if they wanted to come in for an appointment. Funnily enough, they said no.

“Surprised it’s slow for a Saturday.” One of the pains of a grooming salon is that it’ll be filled with clients or it’ll be deader than a western movie scene of a tumbleweed blowing in the wind. “You wanna leave early today?” Nudging you a little as she asks maybe to brighten you up. You’ve been a little cloud of gloom and the other groomers are getting worried.

You think it over, maybe you can ask Connor to let you take a shift on the floor? They still haven’t hired anyone but it would be nice to get home earlier than you usually do. Kyle hasn’t come back… maybe you did fuck yourself over. Wouldn’t be the first time you shot yourself in the foot. His warm brown eyes flashes through your mind's eye and you stand up quickly. Jess quirks a brow and you give a weak nod, “yeah… yeah, I’ll clock out.”

“Alright, clean up and get going.”

She leaves you to your thoughts, cleaning up some kennels and hurriedly clocking out before one of the groomers can even ask you to bathe one of their dogs. Heading straight for the breakroom and shoving your hoodie back on. Rubbing over your face again when you see your reflection. You do look tired. Why does this bother me so much? Walking out and stuffing your wallet and keys into your hoodies pocket. “Oh wait,” you bite your lip slightly, a man’s voice can be heard milling over the different litters the store sell. The Scottish notes to his voice barely heard when you think about those cats around your apartment that you’ve been feeding. “I could to buy another bag.” Blame your grandma for your love of cats, that woman is THE old cat lady and you love that for her.

You waltz down the familiar aisle, looking from the 25 pound bag to the 50 pound bag… It might be best to get the smaller one since you ride the bus but the big one would feed the cats longer. “hmm, alright,” you go for the heavier one after weighing your options. Heaving it onto your shoulders, you wobble a bit when you bend back too far. Shit… Shit! Your world starts to flip and you’re bracing for a hard fall.

“Woah!” A hand settles heavy on your back and steadies you. “Ye need help, lass?” Sparkling blue eyes look down at you. He doesn’t even wait for an answer as he pulls it over his shoulder with ease.

“You— hey!” He doesn’t let you take it from him even when you try to reach for it. In fact, he steps back towards his cart that pokes out from behind him. “I can handle it.” You’re just tired and sluggish, you can lug those things in your sleep.

“Nearly took a tumble,” he winks and you get a better look at him as your lips purse. He’s handsome in a charming, farmer boy way. His hair’s cut into a mohawk and you’d make fun of it if it didn’t actually fit his appearance. There’s a jagged pink scar that’s hard not to notice on his face, your stomach churns at what he must’ve gone through to survive that. The other thing that worries you is that he’s wearing no jacket or hoodie and his face, arms, and hands look like he’s been run through a human sized blender.

“I’m— are you okay?” You point to his arms first and he looks down. He grins something wild and you take the tiniest step back.

“Yeah,” he shrugs, “this one just needed some convincing.” You tilt to the side and nearly squeal when he pulls his cart to his side. A bundled up cat in a thick, dark blue jacket is nestled over some litter bags. Orange fur poking out to the fluffiest extent and what’s something of a coincidence… The cat looks like they got an orange looking mohawk of their own. “Bugger didnae want to be caught.”

You blink once and then twice, “oh… oh?!” He laughs a little when it starts to make sense on those cuts of his. The cat doesn’t look like they’d do that from where you’re standing though. They’re sitting quietly in the jacket save for the tiniest flicker of its orange fluffy tail. Slowly blinking their eyes as if the noises from your conversation has woken them up. “They did that?” Gesturing to him once more, “really?”

He nods, doesn’t seem strained at all with how he still holds your bag of cat food. “He’s been around my house for the longest. Took a lot of convincing to grab him.” And you can see the effects of that convincing. Poor, little guy he must’ve tried so hard escape the Scot’s arms from how beat up the man looks. Wait… Scot?

“Johnny?” You blurt and his shoulders tense. His smile drops, the blue of his eyes switches to something sharp. “I— sorry, are you Johnny?” Stammering a little as he eyes you up and down.

His eyes squint and he stands a little more in front of his cart, blocking your view of his cat. “Aye, that’s me,” his accent thicker and just a bit on edge. “Have we met?” No… no you have not and he knows that.

“No, I— uh, Kyle? Are you friends with Kyle and John?” Stammering out your words.

It starts to click in his head and whatever tense moment that was there is gone immediately. “Bonnie?!” You flinch at his boom, “I ken who ye are,” puzzles all connecting finally in his head now, “boys been yappin’ about ye, was wonderin’ when I’d met this cashier of theirs.” Boys? Plural? Theirs? “Can ye help me, lass? I’ve an idea on how to take care of my boy but m’not against asking for help. Been told ye ken what yer doin’.”

The complete 180 is a whiplash, he acted like you were gonna hurt him. Like you could, all the men you’ve been meeting recently look like they can easily hold themselves alone in a fight. “Yeah,” shuffling around, the boys he mentioned are probably the three you’ve met already. Small world… “I can help you out. I don’t mind.” You smile and he returns it happily, granted you are off the clock but… you have a feeling he’ll need some pointers. Damn your heart of hearts. “I can hold tha—“

“Nonsense,” waving his hand with a shrug of his shoulder when try once more to grab the bag. “I’d never let a bonnie thing like ye lift anything heavy. S’what these are for, yeah?” He flexes his arms and you try to not ogle at the muscles. “Mind pushing the cart though?” You nod and step closer to push. His cat seems to not even care at all about the movement. Just sits and stares, calm as can be despite the terror he must’ve caused Johnny.

“He’s a pretty fluffy cat, I’d recommend a good comb.” Cats can get matted and knotted despite being self-groomers, you’ve seen some get groomed at the salon. Usually longhair cats like this one. His paws are big, ears pointed more, “I think your boys a maine coon cat.” The lion’s mane also helps in your thought process. “At least he could be?”

“I think so too,” Johnny looks positively happy in his capture. He worked hard to catch and chase. “He’s been eating what I’ve been leaving out, I checked for a collar but found none.” Though… you doubt he’d care about that from the way he’s speaking. “Guess he’s all mine, Kyle owes me money.” You perk up at the mention of Kyle.

“Poor lad, seemed sad the other day.”

You deflate a little, looking away and you miss the knowing look that Johnny gives you. “Yeah…” you mutter and leave the cart to pull items for his cat. If you had his number then maybe you could talk to him. Or maybe you wouldn’t… “here,” you come back with a cat bed and some toys. You’ve yet to figure out what to say to Kyle when— if. If he comes back. You hope he comes back.

“Careful, hen,” Johnny says worriedly as you put your hand in the cart. Johnny makes a move to grab your arm but it’s too late, your hands already placing the toys down in the cart. There’s a brief pause before his cat tilts his head and moves to sniff as best as he can despite being burrito’d in the jacket. “Oh?” His eyes widened slightly, “I see how it is, hmm? Ye scratch me up but allow the pretty lass to be near ye.” Turning rather green with jealousy as you laugh at his envious expression. To add insult to injury you pet his boy some more and he purrs. Loudly.

“Well…” you pet away at the purring cat, rubbing from his nose to the top of his head. His ears flickering when you thumb over his head to then scratch at his chin. “You did chase him.” Cooing down at the baby, not an ounce of spiciness in those big eyes of his. “Poor boy, you were just scared? Weren’t you?” Baby talking the cat as if he can understand you. “Big scary man came grabbing at you, poor baby.” You’d probably freak out too if Johnny came after you… the man looks like he can definitely toss you around.

“It was for his own good,” Johnny rolls his eyes with indifference. “I couldnae leave ‘im out in the cold.” You flick through the cat’s tufts of hair on the top of his head. Standing them up so it looks more like a mohawk to match his dad’s hairstyle. “He’s too smart, tried to box’im but he ken what I was doin’.” There’s a growing of a smile on his face as he watches you. Can’t be bothered to stay displeased, not with how sweetly you are eing towards his cat. He’s starting to understand the appeal.

You feel eyes on you and you lock eyes with him once you look up. He doesn’t turn from you even as you pull back. The cat doesn’t seem happy about the loss of pets when he tries yet fails to get out of the jacket. “I,” clearing away at your throat and that makes him blink finally. “Well… how did you get him?” A bit curious but it falters when Johnny grins wolfishly. “Oh no, what did you do?”

“Built him a cat house with one of those nice heaters. Only,” he leans closer like he’s telling you a secret, “I made it to where it would shut once he stepped in.” Rolling his shoulder slightly once he stands straight so the bag sits better. “Hardest part was getting him settled cause once I managed to get’em out of it. He ran all around the house knocking things over.” He chuckles, “had to wrap my jacket ‘round him. Clawed me up good.” — ouch! Aw ye stupid wee man! M’tryna help ye, stop bitin’! No, John, m’fine. Finally got my boy.— “He seems calm,” those blue eyes of his squint, “for now.”

Snorting a laugh, “yeah, he does. Just shaken up.” Pivoting on your heel, “come on, need to get you some more things for him. Hope you don’t mind?” He’s already got the litter and the litter box, even has the cat food.

“Not one bit, lass, not one bit.”

You take him around the store to grab what’s needed. His cat is snoozing the entire time, only waking up when a bump gets hit or you laugh a little too hard from Johnny’s jokes. Turns out, the Scot really is bad at naming things. “Firewatch is not a name, Johnny.”

“Ye sound like John.” He muses, cocking a brow at you.

“It’s the truth.” Saying it like a judge’s final answer on a case.

“An Cheddars any be’ter?” Tilting his head down, he’s long since put your bag of cat food in his cart. He would’ve held it longer had you not pestered him so. He liked how flustered you became when he asked if you’re always so worried or if it’s just for him. “Startin’ to think ye donnae ken how to give names.”

“Hey,” looking highly upset that he’d doubt your superior naming abilities. “I can name a cat, you just don’t like any of the names I’ve mentioned.” You’ve both listed off names. Cheddar, Bomb, Apollo, Firestick, Jackie, Blaze, Riley— now that on one, he seemed vehemently against. You don’t know why and he refused to give his reasonings behind it. “What about… Oliver?” He goes to say something but pauses once he chews on it.

“Hmmm,” he looks from your and then downwards, “Oliver, huh? Better than Riley that’s for sure.” Somewhere a big man in a mask that sneezes, “alright,” Johnny concedes, “I like it.”

“Could call him Ol’ Riley for short?” Wiggling your brows.

“Oh, now ye are pushing yer luck, lass.” Pushing the cart to the front to get to paying for everything you told him he’d need. He doesn’t mind the price, pays for it without doubting your knowledge. Even pays for the cat food that you planned on buying much to your surprise. He simply smiled when you tried to offer him your discounts, “s’fine, hen. Least I could do since yer not workin’.” Your cheeks warm a little, those butterflies start fluttering around once more.

“Okay, but, next time?” God, will there be one? “I’m paying for you.” Not taking a no for an answer on the matter.

“S’bad manners if I let ye pay for me, hen.” shaking his head once he walks with you to the exit. “Do ye need help taking this to yer car?”

“What? Oh,” shaking your head no, “I uh,” thinking of a quick excuse. “I need to talk to my manager, gott speak with him on somethings.”

“Ye want me to stay then?” His arms cross as he offers, “I can load it up for ye once yer done.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Coming close and petting Oliver one final time, you reach right for the big bag but Johnny’s hand wraps around your wrist gently to stopping you.

“Ye sure?” You take in a quick gasp, he’s nearly at your side. He’s warm, like a furnace, burns hot even when there’s a chill outside. “S’pretty heavy.”

“Y-Yeah,” tugging back from his grasp, “I’m sure,” you pick it up and he helps settle it on your shoulders. Distributing the weight for you so you don’t have to. “You should get home. It’s too cold out to not be wearing a jacket.”

“Donnae worry yer pretty head, lass.” His hand lands on his hip as he watches to make sure there’s not a wobble to your legs. “I’ll see ye?” Though it doesn’t sound like a question, sounds more like he knows he will sooner rather than later.

“Okay,” watching as he finally leaves to load up his car. You hide in the grooming salon till you think he’s gone and then make the trek up to your bus’s stop. Plopping the bag down and you sit to take a deep breath. There’s sweat on your brow despite the cold but your bus should be coming any minute now. Wiping at your brow, you pick up your phone to look on tiktok to pass the time. Once you hear the hiss of the bus stopping you heave the cat bag up and over your shoulders. Trudging along inside and sitting back in your usual spot.

You don’t notice the pair of eyes thats been watching you from a distance. Taking note of your exhaustion from where he observes you, “hm...” He leaves once your bus gets on moving down its route. It takes you straight home as always.

[kawhh]

Omg that temporary tattoo thing got me thinking about how in one tree hill when Hayley gets a 23 tattoo above her ass for Nate…

oh dark!quinn wouldn’t be able to think about anything else when he sees your reach up high for something and your shirt lifts up and he gets a peek of the 43 above your his ass.

He would ask you about it and when you wouldn’t admit it right away he would bend you over and he would fuck you from behind. You don’t get to finish because you lied but he cums over your back and swipes it across the 43 tattoo to further claim you, proper tattoo care be damned. Yeah that’s hot

My ask turn around time needs to be studied. There'll be a day when I catch up with them all and it doesn't take me a month lmao.

I gotta put One Tree Hill on my watch list now? I've always seen it talked about a lot but I've never actually seen any of it.

Warnings: Quinn losing his mind, nails sinking into skin, biting, blood mention, ripping clothes, rough fucking, cum play.

You'd done it as a cute little gesture. You adore him and you're oh so proud of him, it'd been the easiest tattoo choice of your life. You'd wanted it somewhere he'd be able to see on you, wanting it more for him than for you.

You hadn't fully considered the impact of it until it was etched into your skin, until the scratching had stopped. Flushing heavily in the car coming back from the studio. Embarrassed about how he'd react when he saw it, knowing it's permanent now.

Hadn't considered how he'd feel about the fact that you were a little undressed for the artist, laying there with their hands on your skin, touching above and around your ass.

Hadn't considered that it might make him more feral, you'd been high on the feeling of wanting to show him how proud of him you are.

You'd tucked your shirt into the back of your jeans as you walked into his apartment, needing more time to think of an excuse, a reason, before he saw it. He wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you for long.

It's a shame you'd immediately forgotten the plan, distracted by him asleep on the couch. Rushing around the kitchen to make him food ready for when he wakes up, worried about how exhausted he clearly was after practice. Guilty you weren't here for him when he got home.

Hadn't heard him stirring, hadn't heard him creep towards you, fixated on the little inch of your bare skin visible to his eyes as you reach up. The emotions battling for control in his eyes - the confusion, the savage need to claim you, to fuck you. The disbelief. His pupils fully dilated, his arms shaking.

You don't hear him kneeling behind you, needing to get a better look or he feels like he'll die. Your startled gasp as he reaches out to grab your hips, the way your cute little jump exposes even more of your skin.

The way his nails dig into your skin, his eyes wild, resting his forehead above the tattoo. Tensing up when you feel his hot breath against your skin, sending shocks up your spine.

"Sweetheart.. you gonna fucking explain?"

The way his nails dig in further when you don't answer, when you don't even offer an excuse. Just whimpers coming out of your mouth. Your gasp of pain when he bites around the tattoo, making a circle. A ring of bloody possession around his mark on you. You're even more his now. You can't go back from this. You've made this choice.

His veins burn with the need to be buried in your cunt. His nails no longer still - clawing into you, dragging them down your ass. Leaving a stinging trail that makes you hiss, softly crying out his name. Pleading for something. Needing something.

Your cries pushing him over the edge, rising to his feet, throwing you over his shoulder. He needs you now. Needs you bent over his fucking couch right now. Needs his cock in you. Needs to make a mess. Needs to stare at his mark on you when he rails you.

He's not gentle about throwing you on the couch, cradling your head from the harsh impact. He's not a savage after all.

He has no care for your clothes, viewing them as a barrier to what he needs and wants. Doesn't care to gently take them off you, doesn't care if he knows they're your favourite. These fucking jeans. They might make your ass look like a buffet but they're keeping him from your cute little cunt and it's illegal.

He doesn't need them fully off, just down enough. Yanking them down your thighs, restraining your legs with them around your knees. He has room. He'll make it work. Warming you up, pushing his aching head against the wet spot on your underwear, pushing the material into you, watching as you grip the couch and tremble. Lazy little thrusts, pushing it into you further, eyes narrowing on the tattoo.

Swiping his tongue across his bottom lip as he rips your underwear, laughing as you squeak in protest at the slight burn.

Doesn't hesitate when he has a clear shot, sinking balls deep inside your cunt instantly, pushing his weight against you, forcing you to bend further over the couch, restraining you even further. Gripping your hip with one hand, resting his fingers against the tattoo, needing to physically feel it.

He's a machine fucking into you, slamming you further over the edge of the couch with every thrust, slamming you back down against him when you creep forward too far. Making you scream at the brutality.

Begging him to slow down, whining about all your adorable little choices. You're just making it worse. He wants you ruined. He wants you to make a mess, to be a mess.

Spanking your clit while he pulls out, teasing you, pretending that he's giving into your demands, before he's slamming back in even harder. Feeling your walls clench down on him, feeling your pussy sucking him back in. How it's desperate for him to be inside you, even if you're vocally protesting.

He's chanting, whispering to himself about how badly he needs to cum on every thrust, tossing his head back, losing himself in the feel of your cunt. You're his. You're marked. He can do this every day. Fuck, he can fuck you every day. He can stare at the mark and make you cum every single second of every single day.

Moaning as his speed picks up even further, no longer even focused on your reactions, just needing to cum. Needing to cum. He's gotta cum. Fuck, he's gotta cum. He's so close.

Forcing his head back up so he can watch the tattoo bounce on every thrust, feeling like it's taunting him, violently pulling you back and thrusting, giving it every single percentage of energy he has, shocks going down his spine, his thighs cramping with the strain.

He can't resist pulling out as he cums, drowning your back in his seed. Panting as it drips down your back, aided by gravity. How it covers the tattoo, his hips jerking like he's cum again, the sight making his brain break.

He's collapsing against your back fully, the hand on your hip spreading it over the tattoo, trying to rub it into your skin. To mark you further. Running his hands through the rest of the cum, reaching up to force it into your mouth.

He'll keep you both here for a while, too exhausted to lift off you.

[elipri]

Oh man this chapter was hilarious, I laughed so much! But it's also filled with political details and dare I say a setup for future plots and (much needed) character development 👀

Starting off with the confirmation that Ostania is indeed a nationalist country

This is also the first time that an outsider seems to view The Punch as something positive, as though Anya is standing up to right-wing extremism (which would actually be super cool ngl)

All the comedy aside, this is the first child character who's actually aware of politics and international relations. It makes sense that a prince has to keenly study politics and diplomacy, most of his thoughts are about his country and which repercussions his interactions in Eden could have on the grand scheme of things. This kid literally breathes politics, everything from his mannerisms, expressions and thoughts is deeply embedded in his political upbringing. That's quite a burden for a 6 year old kid...

Now let's talk about how this will affect my favourite brat hahaha

They are literal opposites in everything, but I find it interesting how the prince is basically a subversion of Damian (and could probably bring out the worst in him)

Damian thinks he's hot shit because of his father and acts as though he's royalty, but he's maybe a noble at best. He calls everyone who doesn't share his status a peasant and looks down on them. His expressions are brash and very rude and he has gotten reprimanded for it before. He aspires to become a politician, yet he lacks every single skill for that. However he's also courageous when it does matter.

The prince on the other hand is obviously of royal descent, but he's not arrogant at all. In fact, he's just scared of international scandal and a coward. He's humble and eager to befriend his Ostanian classmates and doesn't care if they're "peasants". He has actual diplomatic skills that he applies all the time. He's honest and straightforward in his thoughts and doesn't feel ashamed to openly befriend Anya, even going as far as suggesting that he should visit her home

I can also see him subtly and passive-aggressively make digs at Damian. There seems to be a suggestion that his kingdom is either politically centrist and/or left-leaning and Damian might incorporate everything that prince hates. He would also get away with provoking Damian because he's already mastered diplomacy (for a 6 yo lol) which could ultimately lead to Damian embarrassing himself in front of everyone (and maybe even earn a tonitrus that he kinda deserves ngl). Unlike prince, Damian is impulsive, emotional and just starts to scream at everyone around him. He doesn't know what composure is.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if most of their classmates will start to distance themselves from Damian and no longer put him on a pedestal. Why should they when there's a literal prince among them who treats everyone with respect and is always eloquent, even when he's internally freaking out.

All of this will hopefully trigger Damian's long-overdue character development. The clash with prince is inevitable either way, especially because Anya is involved. Yes I want to see jealous Damian, but I also want him to grow up a little and realize that he's not that important, he shouldn't treat others as beneath him and most importantly he should realize that he knows nothing. He doesn't know what actually makes a great leader and politician. He doesn't know how Ostania and his father are viewed internationally. He's not aware how his actions could actually bear political consequences.

I do hope he will befriend prince in the end though, he could learn many things from him. Only in Eden do international relations form during elementary school lmao

[spr1ngtweaks]

Hello hi! If it isn't too much to ask, may I propose some angst with Harley Sawyer?

In short, what if said partner/colleague had also died during the Hour of Joy?

Like, the idea of them stumbling their way to him after the fact out of sheer will (miraculously not attracting unwanted attention from the other toys), practically collapsing right in front of him as they try to cling onto whatever bit life they have left before finally passing on.

The Doctor would realistically feel some kind of disdain, but what do you think? Please take your time though! There's absolutely no rush :)

If his partner/colleague also perished during the Hour of Joy, it adds a cruel layer of futility—like no matter how hard you fought to survive, in the end, it was all for nothing. The image of you dragging yourself to his side, bloodied and broken, only to die mere inches away from him? That’s cinematic despair right there.

Now, as for the Doctor’s reaction—realistically, he’d likely feel contempt, maybe even a bitter kind of disappointment. He doesn’t seem like the type to romanticize tragic deaths; he’s too methodical, too driven by his own logic.

He might view your last desperate act as pathetic, or even as proof of your ultimate weakness.

And, I agree, the Doctor might feel disdain, perhaps even frustration. “What’s the point of this? You’re already dead.” A scientist like him values results, efficiency, progress. Sentiment is secondary.

But—there’s something undeniably haunting about.. you using your final moments to seek him out—whether out of familiarity, desperation, or misplaced hope.

There’s always the what if of something deeper. Maybe, just for a flicker of a moment, something in him stirs. Maybe it’s disgust, yes, but mixed with something unnameable, something that lingers.

Because, for all his coldness, he is obsessed with the human condition in his own way. And this? This is human suffering at its rawest.

Would he allow himself to feel anything beyond that? Probably not. But the image of your fallen figures, might just haunt him longer than he'd ever admit.

[lightlycareless]

the jealous y/n i promised. one of them, anyways :)

warnings: naoya used to like someone before you. the thought of it makes you... uncomfortable, by some reason. highschool au. minimal proofreading but sometimes you just gotta let things go...

It all started because someone decided they just had to mess with you on your first trip to Kyoto, during your first school exchange event.

As yearly intended, the game would be hosted on the winning school; not that someone managed to defeat Gojo and Geto, but to shake things a bit the higher ups decided to break the rules and give the opposing school a chance—maybe fighting in their hometowns would help against them.

Coincidentally, this would mark your first time participating, and what better way to do so than by going to a city you’ve never been to?

We’re you excited?

Undoubtedly. How could you not consider these past details?

However, that wasn’t the only (not the most important) notion that had you feeling such way; what actually got you all giddy was the fact that you’d be going with your boyfriend! Which secretly turned this school trip into a small holiday of sorts, a promise of a good time once he offered to take you to the city and show you all kinds of enthralling experiences you wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else.

It was bound to become a memorable visit, one that you wouldn’t be able to forget, worthy enough to share with your eventual children!

And it was… but not for the reasons you expected.

“Ooooh, you know what this trip actually means, right Y/N?” Gojo would begin to stir, as usual. You do your best to ignore him. “You can ignore me all you want, but I’m just warning you, it’s going to be awkward.”

“Awkward?” You blink, taking his bait. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t say it, Satoru…” Geto warns, going against his very nature, which is to rile him further, and instead, showing genuine caution that you’d come to lament later on. “You’re just being cruel.”

“What is? Tell me!” You cry, fallen victim to your curiosity.

“Probably not as cruel as Naoya taking his girlfriend to see his crush. Or past crush, I guess.”

“Crush…?” You blink, your heart dropping to your stomach at the thought of his affections once belonging to someone else. It shouldn’t be that way, of course. Whatever happened before you met him should be beyond your concern.

And yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from torturing yourself with the thought, needlessly wondering who was the lucky girl to previously obtain his attention.

Was she nice? Was she pretty? Did anything manage to happen between the two…?

…

…

Does she look like you?

You ought to know better than to ask questions you do not want answered.

“Naoya hasn’t told you?” Satoru worried. “He used to have this huge crush on Utahime, like you don’t imagine how big it was; he’d stalk her everywhere she went, turn all red whenever she was near—“

“Satoru!” Suguru condemned, but it was too late.

It’s safe to say you no longer looked forward to your trip to Kyoto.

“She was going to learn so anyways, might as well get it over with!”

“And?? That doesn’t give you permission to be an idiot about it!”

“I’m just preparing Y/N! It’s not my fault that Naoya hasn’t told her about it… which is quite suspicious if you ask me, more so since he’s been in contact with her quite recently! Did you know he asked me for her number? I think he might not be over—“

“Do you ever shut up, Satoru?” You coldly interject, retreating soon after before the tears forming in your eyes could further humiliate you.

Suguru was right, there was no need for him to be as imprudent when it came to the relationship you were clearly very happy with; but you should’ve not let his behavior affect you either, that’s just how he is—everyone knew that—since he was a little kid.

Satoru just had this need to make everyone miserable simply because he could; but now that your insecurities were stirred, all you could do was revisit Naoya’s enthusiasm for your visit… and tie it with Utahime.

Overanalyze every interaction you had with him and wonder if he ever imagined it was her instead of you.

Like when he complimented you for appearance, called you cute when decorating your hair with a bow, which after Satoru’s bold accusations, you come to find it might’ve been because of nostalgia, longing. Not because Naoya actually meant it.

Utahime’s beautiful, there's no denying that.

She's also taller than you, brighter, determined; with no patience for nonsense yet kind enough to help others when asked. You should know, on the few occasions you’ve had the opportunity to interact with her, she was nothing but gentle when explaining one of the assignments you were struggling with—even offering to tutor you if you continued to have questions.

Undoubtedly, a perfect match for Naoya; both politically and personally. A conclusion that makes your poor heart ache the longer you keep comparing yourself to her.

No one looks at her and thinks “she's too childish” or “she's unsuited for the life of sorcery”. In fact, she’s the type of person one would go to when in trouble, the one to look for when in need of comfort.

While you… well, you’re funny. And apparently, a bit childish too. But definitely not the hope for the next generation of sorcerers.

When weighing all these alleged facts, and after placing Utahime on a pedestal while desecrating your own worth, you question…

Did Naoya settle on you because he couldn't end up with her?

Or were you simply a steppingstone, a diversion while they reunite in the future?

…

…

…

Are you fated to never be good enough by yourself? Everyone’s second choice when their initial plan doesn’t work?

It's not something you'd discern at a simple glance, but when Naoya begins to act more and more secretive the closer the date of your trip got, the more you're inclined to believe so; his distance had been so glaringly obvious that the only time you’ve managed to spend with him was when accidentally bumping into each other in the hallways when going to your next class.

Still, your stubborn heart gave him one last chance. One more opportunity to deny all the ridiculous claims plaguing your mind and realize that the sole reason he’s glued to his phone is because of his family, tending his responsibilities as heir…

And not because he’s seeking another woman.

“Ah, Y/N… I'm a little behind with some of my projects right now so I don't think I'll be able to join you for lunch… but don’t let that stop you, go ahead, eat something. I wouldn't want my princess to starve because of me”

That’s when everything made sense.

Because Naoya, though he may hate paperwork, essays, and all that deviated from exorcizing curses, he was still an excellent student and always delivered on time. Might’ve coerced someone to do his work from time to time when not in the mood, but it still brought you back to the same conclusion.

A realization that sparked your anger, bitterness—jealousy.

But most importantly, sadness.

Which you could no longer hide the fateful day of your trip.

“Wait, Y/N—! Why are you in such a rush? We’re still on time for the train!” Naoya would say after catching up to you. The two had previously agreed to meet up just outside your dorm and go to the train station together from there; but alas, you were nowhere to be seen when he eventually arrived, and this caused him to be very surprised.

After all, you were virtually inseparable from him; you would’ve spent the night with him if only it wasn’t prohibited. So… why the sudden indifference?

One could only try to be compassionate when remembering this was his first, serious relationship, so there were many things he had yet to learn about having a girlfriend and how to treat her.

It’s just a misfortune he’d come to learn that lesson harshly so.

“I'm fine, thank you.” you frown, ignoring Naoya as you continue to pull your suitcase towards the exit. The faculty gave students two options, either take the provided transportation and ride with the rest of your classmates to the train station or go by yourself.

Solitude was only appetizing with the silent turmoil you carried.

Your boyfriend doesn't say much after that, though he does note the striking difference of your usually bubbly personality with this… muted version of his girlfriend.

When you once harbored excitement to travel to a completely new city, you now… well, it looked as if you'd rather get sick than do this. And it didn’t seem to be caused by anxiety either, he’d seen you nervous and this was not the way you behaved when such.

Not exactly the disposition he hoped for today's happening, and yet, he’s still light years away from figuring why!

Was it better to simply… leave you alone?

“Y/N, let me help you.” he decides otherwise, at least your stubbornness is something he’s familiar with and thus, not easily swayed to back off when you ignore him again. “Princess—”

“Don’t touch me!” You exclaim, pulling your hand away from his. “I said I'm fine, now leave me alone!”

Naoya blinks, at first startled by your sudden outburst, before growing irritated, never one to enjoy being lashed out on—less if it came from someone as important as you.

“What the hell has gotten into you?!’ Naoya scorns, trying to get a hold of your hand only for you to dismiss him again. “I'm just trying to help you!”

“Yeah, right. Just to get there quicker, huh?” you frown.

“I mean, is that not ideal?”

“You're unbelievable.”

“Huh??? Will you at least care to explain why you’re so moody out of the sudden??”

His choice of dismissing words stabs your heart in a sharp, painful way that only serves to ignite your anger even more. Naoya really had no idea, did he?

Or did he believe you were as naïve as he desperately intended to portray you?

“Oh, it’s nothing. Nothing at all! In fact, how about I just step aside so you can do everything you want in Kyoto? Go see who you want to see while I stay behind, quiet, so you won't have to worry about me?!”

“But—what?? Did you forget were supposed to spend time together over there?? Show you the city?!” Naoya exclaims. “What happens to that??”

“I don't know, you tell me!” You cry back. “No, you know what, don't tell me. I don't feel like hearing—”

“Oh, no you're not.” Naoya says, take ahold of your arm and forcing you to see him face to face—getting a good look of your red, swollen eyes from undoubtedly spending the whole night crying, that only made his determination to find out what ailed you even stronger.

And deal with whomever was responsible for this dreadful act.

Even if it was yourself, or unwittingly himself too.

“We're going to spend two hours on a bullet train which I don't intend to have by you ignoring me through the entirety of it.” He goes on.

“Naoya—”

“Who did this to you? Tell me who hurt you and I'll make sure they—”

“Just stop it already! You don't have to set up all these… theatrics just so you can feel less guilty about seeing her!”

“Her?” He breathes, of all things you could’ve sputtered, this is the least, most shocking one he could’ve received. Where did you even get this idea?? “Pray tell, who am I seeing?”

“I don't—I don't want to talk anymore.”

“Y/N!” Naoya exclaims, you flinch—a reaction that has him immediately regretting his act, softening his voice. “I can't help but feel there's a sort of misunderstanding here, just tell me what's going on… Please.”

“...I just want to know if you— if you still harbor feelings for that person before me?”

“Huh?” Naoya frowns. “Talk clearly, mochi. I don't understand a word you're saying—”

“I'm asking if you still like the girl you liked before me!” You cry. “Or perhaps never stopped liking…”

“Who did I like?” He asks back, genuinely confused.

“Are you going to make me say it?!”

“I mean, if we're to get anywhere.”

“Fine! I’m referring to Utahime! You like her, don't you?!”

“Uta—what?? Where did you get that idea?!”

“Don't—don’t act like you don't know what I'm talking about!” You insist. “Satoru told me…”

“Ah, and he's nothing but a reliable source, isn't he?”

“Suguru confirmed it too! Or at least his reaction did…”

Naoya pinches the bridge of his noise, exasperated.

“When are you going to stop believing the stupidities they spew at you?”

“Well, Satoru had no reason to lie about that!”

Naoya can think of many, thousands in fact, and they always boil down to malice…

It's hard to believe how he once used to admire him, even thought of himself as very similar to him. But now that he keeps needlessly tormenting his love, that sentiment is far gone—he’ll deal with that matter soon enough, right after reassuring you he doesn’t have feelings for his past classmate.

Not anymore, that is.

“... Just tell me if you still like her, so I can stay out of your way—”

“I don't like her, Y/N.” Naoya declares. “Honestly, I don't think I ever did.”

“Then why did he say that?”

All must’ve started back when he was still a first-year student, having just transferred from Kyoto after demanding to be close to one of his admirations.

Satoru, always the obnoxious one since the beginning of time, had the tradition of pestering all newcomers in hopes of finding a victim to let out all his frustrations on for the following years; however, his sights were specifically the Zen'in heir whom he was previously acquainted with and was quite surprised to see “interacting with the mortals”, since their families often preferred to homeschool their talents.

Of course, now that he was within reach, he just couldn't miss the opportunity of mocking him in any conceivable shape and form, beginning with questions intended to get a rise out of him.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t like any of the girls here?” Satoru would begin, for the nth time that day. “Or perhaps left a darling back at home?”

“No, I do not” No matter the insistences, Naoya remained strong in his beliefs, much to Satoru’s disappointment. But if anything, this made it into a far more gratifying challenge.

“Oh, really? Do you expect me to believe the great Zen’in heir has trouble getting with girls?” He continues to tease. “Hm, should’ve known—the only way anyone could tolerate you people is by coercing—"

“Fine! Alright! I like Utahime!” Naoya promptly declared, making Satoru’s expectations… well, shatter. Whatever he had in mind was nothing compared with the seeming reality!

“No way, you like her???!!”

Obviously, for someone as aggravating, set to get the worst of people, he could never truly find enjoyment in Utahime that wasn’t from tormenting her.

But to Naoya… well, he’d soon find out there was more to his answer than just selecting the one he found attractive at the moment.

Just as it was stated, he found Utahime to be quite… alluring. She was fairly good looking, and conservative enough in certain aspects, at least the ones he considered his clan would care of.

Perhaps the only thing he didn’t enjoy was that explosive temperament of hers, how she always fell victim to Satoru’s provocations instead of ignoring him, as a proper lady would’ve.

But he still gave her a chance, tried approaching her, get to know what she thought of him, how much he knew of the Zen’in clan, and most importantly, if she enjoyed being a miko—because such lifestyle could prove detrimental if they got together, and the last thing he needed was more personal struggles to deal with.

Yet, as much as he insisted…as much as Utahime tried to ignore his preceding reputation and give him the benefit of the doubt, nothing would come out from someone that didn’t have the patience to see past of his rough exterior and understand why Naoya was the way he was.

Who he could truly be.

Such things were meant for soulmates, after all.

And all that could’ve been was effectively terminated the moment he decided to transfer to Tokyo.

But for the only other person who saw everything unfold, Satoru, there was still much, much more to exploit.

“...Satoru said you’d always get all flustered whenever she was around” you quietly continue. “So, if you really didn’t like her, why would he say that?”

“Because he'd follow me everywhere to tease me, it was becoming quite… irritating.” He answered honestly, but still not enough to ease your poor heart of its selfish, hurtful assumptions.

“It still doesn't explain why you were talking with her these past few days” you go on, as much as a part of you desired not to.  You just wish that whatever you found out, it wouldn't shatter you. “You’d even hide your phone from me…”

Naoya, understanding how bad this looked, sighs. Nonetheless, if he wishes to preserve your affection he cannot hold back on the truth.

“I… I didn't want to tell you, it was meant to be a surprise, really…  but, well, I managed to figure out where the exchange event is to happen, which is coincidentally, an area to which Utahime is native to. And since I promised to show you around, take you to the best places…. I thought it might've been productive to ask for her input.

I know I pride myself on being from Kyoto, quite arrogantly so, but the truth is… I barely know anything outside what my family has shown me. I wasn't much of a friendly person so I didn't have anywhere to hang out.

And I didn't want to disappoint you, I couldn't let you down, especially after instantly listening to your excitement. The thought alone of ruining your first trip to the city is enough to drive me mad, so… I believed that doing all this was the right path to take.

… But had I known this would be the outcome, I would rather face your disappointment that to never have you by my side again.”

At his explanation, conformed of genuine words and concerns, all you could do is cry.

Weep at the incredulity of your assumptions, ashamed of your distrustful behavior towards him for once again, believing the past that once plagued Naoya.

How long would it take for your insecurities to finally free you? To stop listening what others whisper at your ear, of how he was the wrong person for you?

Until he decides he’s had enough of your childish antics and leaves for good?

Naoya’s far from perfect, undoubtedly so, but he's trying his hardest and he's changing because of it: when he once cared for nothing but his needs, all he could think of now is your happiness.

Were you willing to disappoint him? Rupture this relationship and lose him forever?

You'd never forgive yourself, which is why you wept, and wept, and wept.

Because you had, right before you, the only thing you ever wanted in life— a man that loved you just as you are—and almost ruined it.

But Naoya, whom perhaps regretted this situation the most, didn’t see the reason behind your tears and instead, believed them to be caused by his own failure, the lack of oversight to realize the gravity of his acts and subsequently poorly attempting to bridge his misjudgment.

A part of him doesn’t worry about your solitude, because he knows you’ll always have your friends and family to support you.

But him… without you, he’s truly alone. And he can’t—couldn’t let you go.

 “Tell me, Y/N. What do I need to do for you to believe me? For you to trust me again?” he quickly begins to beg, spew just about anything that might earn him your compassion and forgiveness—one last chance.

Though a simple remedy was all that he needed.

“A—A—hug…!” You sob, and Naoya doesn’t need to be told twice to quickly wrap his arms around you and pull you close into his chest, hoping that by his warmth you’d be reassured into ceasing the one thing that always shattered his heart. “I’m—I’m sorry, I should’ve never distrusted you, it’s just that I—”

“You don’t have to say anything, princess. It was just a mistake.” He says, pressing his face against the top of your head.

“But I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did!” you retort. “I shouldn’t have accused you of something that I wasn’t certain of! Of something you would’ve never done, now I know…”

“Why did you believe that I’d have eyes for another woman in the first place…? Have I not shown you what you mean to me?”

“Ye—yes, but…”

“But?”

You sniffle, before swallowing.

“I guess a part of me always felt undeserving of you.” You confess. “Skeptical to believe I found someone that truly loved me, that’d be willing to do all you’ve done for me.”

Naoya at first remains quiet, starting at you in complete disbelief before letting out a warm chuckle, making you frown.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing, I just… learned we’re not so different, after all.”

You look up to him. “What do you mean?”

“I too, at times, feel underserving of you.” He confesses. “You don’t know how many times I’ve feared the possibility of you simply… deciding you were no longer happy with me; that you might realize there is someone infinitely better than me and leave.”

A certain friend of yours made sure to revive such sentiment within him whenever nearby.

But just as him, you never had eyes for anyone else that wasn’t the love of your life.

“…I guess that’s another way to know we’re meant for each other.” You quietly discern, resting your face back into his chest while Naoya laughs once more. “Does that mean you’re not… upset with me anymore?”

“Upset? If anything, I was quite delighted to see you jealous; you’re quite cute when you are, you know?” He teases, gently pinching your cheek.

“I wasn’t jealous!” You cry, he raises an eyebrow. “I mean… not without reason.”

“Have I not told you already that you are the most beautiful, adorable, gentlest woman in the whole world?” Naoya continues, you turn bright red.

“Now you’re just embarrassing me!” you gasp, pushing your face deeper into his chest.

“The list is honestly endless, but we do have a train to catch.” He reminds you, making your eyes widen and gasp.

“Oh, my god you’re right! We have to hurry!” you say, ready to fetch your suitcase, before bashfully looking back to him. “…Are you still sitting with me?”

“Unless you’re saving it for a random person.” He raises an eyebrow.

“Nope, and I do not want to run the risk of being paired with a weirdo!” ��you exclaim. “You have a lot to catch up with me, anyways.”

“I know.” Naoya responds. “Though I doubt talking about preparations and schoolwork will be any exciting.”

“I was thinking something a bit more… personal. Like kisses.” You murmur, and he smirks before leaning down to peck your lips, heart fluttering in return.

“Is that a good way to start?”

You smile, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him back.

“Perfect.”

Your trip to Kyoto proves to be just as exciting as you expected, if not more thanks to all his precedent planning, that you simply couldn’t wait for the day you’d come again.

Thankfully, you’d have plenty of time to do so once convincing Naoya to take you to visit the Zen’in… much to his chagrin. But anything to make you happy, he supposes.

yes i love setting up more stories should I be blamed? NO. ahahaha

anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it 🙈 I couldn't (nor wouldn't) write anything that might be interpreted as slander against utahime cause i don't feel that way about her (though I feel incredibly disappointed that we didn't get to see more of her 😒😒😒😒) but also I couldn't write her in such way that would make one ask "well, if she was so good for naoya then why is he with y/n? lol"

yet I hope I was able to show how immature/selfish he was with her 🤣 asking questions like "I wonder if she's heard of my clan" instead of trying to genuinely get to know her and such. it's the power of love y'all.......................................

aaaah what i mean to say is, I hope you enjoyed this :') i think it's the first time I ever write Naoya taking interest in someone else, even though it was in the past 🤔 still...

take care and hope to see y'all soon!!

p.s. what do y'all think utahime's reaction was to naoya dating y/n? I have a few ideas but have yet to choose one lol.

[for-a-longlongtime]

Hey Anon, I saw your message this morning! 💜

You pointed out "Yall need to be careful of bi erasure" and linked to a post someone made about me. I appreciate the heads up! To be honest, I’m not concerned about people suggesting that I’m doing bi erasure. Whether it’s regarding Pedro characters in canon, head canons, or bisexuality in any other way. But hey, everybody can have their opinion about things, including what they think about me.

I dont talk much about myself here, but my tumblr bio has said from day 1 that I’m a bi woman. My master list mentions most of my fic “is queer (m/m, bi4bi, m/m/f, non-binary and trans characters)”. Folks who have read my fic know I've written pairings where every character is explicitly bi ( Frankie x f!reader x Santi; Peña x Rockford x OFC; Ezra x f!reader x Benny Miller, and WIPs with Joel and Marcus M, Frankie x f!reader x OFC and Maximus x Acacius x Lucilla).

Can bisexual people still do bi erasure? Sure!

Do I worry whether straight folks or other random folks online think I'm involved in bi erasure? Nahhh.

Anyway, I did make some posts the other day based on anons submitted to me about issues re: queer representation in this fandom. Let me just direct you to the several posts I made on that day, which started in response to a question about Renaldo:

"Was Renaldo Gay in the SNL sketch?? I've seen a lot of blogs saying he wasn't?". TL;DR version of my response: the ending of the song states "word to the wise, if you've got wives, hide them from the three bros!" suggesting that Renaldo, Domingo, and Santiago all hook up with women/wives. Considering Renaldo hooked up with Matthew, that probably makes him bisexual (and not the fact that he had Sophie, aka Sabrina's character, dancing up on him) - or queer, or someone who doesn't like to label himself. However, while 'hide your wives' works linguistically as a great punch line to wrap up the song, it does not refer to Renaldo's affair with Matthew (now that is bi erasure, if you wanna be exact), so I did point out that 'hide your spouses' would've been more accurate - but understandably, that's not as catchy. I'm currently writing a Renaldo x Matthew one shot, and I said my headcanon has Renaldo as gay - but that's my interpretation/hc/fic.

Someone wrote to me: Some blogs in the fandom is hellbent on taking away any attention away from anything mlm based with his characters anyway so it wouldn't matter in Renaldo was gay - someone would find a loophole to make him like women. TL;DR I agreed, because there are people who definitely do that. It became part of a longer thread of reblogs with some other folks in which we talked about how Pedro's mlm (men loving men) characters, such as Oberyn, Dieter and Silva in particular, either tend to be canonized primarily as bisexual by people but in fic are almost always paired with women (f!reader or OFCs). Which is fine, but people are definitely interested in seeing more m/m representation for those characters. Someone also brought up that when Pedro characters are paired with non-binary reader inserts or OC, it tends to be mostly afab!nb (or afab!trans characters), and that they were surprised that there weren't more amab!nb characters - that's a great point too.

I made a post with an anon message that pointed out "MLM includes bi, pan and queer men. They might like women. (And/or other genders, but they still like men)". Very correct!

Finally, there was an excellent long message from an anon saying "We need more representation of bi people in same-gender relationships represented" and that even in threesomes or throuples (fic) that include two men, there should ideally be more mlm representation. Once again, I fully agree. Everybody should write whatever they want, but I do often see threesomes that are listed as Pedro Character 1 x reader x Pedro Character 2, but in the fic it's more like reader having sex with two straight men at the same time while they're trying to not cross swords, rather than mlm being represented. THIS IS DEFINITELY CHANGING THOUGH: it's wonderful to see a big increase of mlm characters in threesomes/throuple fics over the past year!

So here is my main issue with a lot of people who are raging about 'bi erasure', and why I've made several posts about queerness within this fandom (not just recently, but from the start). Of course bisexual people exist (hello, it me, for one). Pull up some statistics if you want: there are a lot more folks who identify as bisexual than there are folks who identify as gay or lesbian. I'm an older millenial, so if you wanna talk about bi erasure: the measure in which it happens today is nothing compared to the bi erasure and deeply engrained homophobia we experienced in our teens and twenties from society at large. However:

🏳‍🌈 In your rush to point out bisexuals exist, you're shutting down a much broader dialogue with people within the LGBTQIA+ community. 🏳‍🌈

Because have you noticed how gay men, nonbinary/genderqueer fans, amab!trans or amab!nonbinary FANS (not fic characters; I'm talking actual people) are extremely underrepresented in this fandom? In addition to in fic? And that these fans won't have their fiction or actual posts shared all that much? Or that when they carefully speak up, e.g. about being happy to see Pedro portray Silva as a gay character, they're immediately rebuffed and called biphobic or that they're trying to erasure bisexuality?

Yeah. That part.

It's messed up.

Nobody is even making demands. Nobody is even saying "what writers are doing is wrong". They're just saying, "This is a bummer". And some of us are pointing out that mlm Pedro characters in m/m pairings are hard to come by, which is too bad because it's not only us queers who read m/m Pedro character pairings - there are lots of straight fans out there who have indicated they like reading that, too.

Are you gonna call that bi erasure? Or marginalization of women? Or anything really except for what it actually is? Fans are just saying "yknow, I wish there were more fans/fic characters/bodies in fic represented in this fandom that look and feel more like me". People seem to have finally understood that in varying degrees when this applies to body type or racial/cultural background (which took many white people a lot longer to fully grasp; BIPOC folks have been saying this for such a long time already) - it's about diversity and wanting to feel included. But when gay or transfolks say this about mlm, a whole bunch of y'all are crying bi erasure?

In short (and I can't believe I need to even fuckin' say this):

The Pedro fandom or its fic does NOT belong exclusively to women.

It does not belong to cis folks, to straight people, or any other particular group of people.

Aren't we all just trying to be a community? Then stop acting like people reading Silva or Renaldo (or any other character) as gay are erasing bisexuality - that's not the case or the damn point.

And anon-- my critique truly isn't directed at you, I'm not dragging you in any way. You took the effort to bring something to my attention, plus you clearly care about people, and I appreciate that a lot. But there are tons of people who don't dare to speak up about this in public settings, so I can't help but take this opportunity to not only clarify what I said earlier -- but also to address the bigger problem at large. Read or write all the gossip blogs you want, by all means, but maybe also consider using that time to actually connect with people.

[stylish-fish]

you know what one thing i hope gets further explored in deltarune is the dark fountains and their effects on the darkners, particularly rulers like king and queen. since we know for a fact that the fountains affected them, but it's not entirely clear how, i have written down some thoughts of my own on it. they are mostly just theories and based on what i'd find the most compelling, especially considering the characters, but i do like the ideas i have for that.

first of all, it's confirmed that the fountains did have something about them that affected the rulers. in the undertale 6th anniversary stream, toby fox said that the fountain "changed [the king's] behavior" at around 3:00:14. also, the music trio says this when you talk to them about queen:

i think that the most popular explanation i've seen for this is that the fountains had some magical properties in them that made king's and queen's personalities worse and since they spent a lot of time close to the fountains, they were easily corrupted by them. while this explanation might have been what toby was implying — we don't know — i don't exactly... feel satisfied with this take. i feel like it takes something away from their characters, so i think i'll need to explain this further.

first of all, the king. what we know about his character is that his kingdom was abandoned by the lightners and therefore he swore vengeance and decided to take matters into his own hands. in fact, this is what it says when you check him:

we see him act accordingly: he's extremely agressive towards the lightners in chapter 1 and more passive, but still spiteful towards them in chapter 2. his change of mood between the chapters is often used as proof for the fountain changing his personality, but i think it could also be credited to the total change of environment for him. in chapter 2, he no longer has any power, authority or means to carry out his revenge he was so used to having before. therefore, he sees no point in trying to act aggressive or threatening anymore. also, i'd like to point out the way his info box is worded: the inciting incident that made his heart become "cracked with hatred" wasn't the knight or the fountain appearing but instead being abandoned by the lightners. it makes it clear that he very much wanted to have revenge on lightners even before the fountain appeared, and it's not just a drive the fountain gave him.

speaking of the king's revenge, the way i see the fountain is directly related to that. i see it more as a concrete means to achieve his revenge: something that changed his behaviour because of what it meant to him, rather than directly affecting him through any magical corrupting properties. we see him idolize the knight, despite of them being 100% likely to be a lightner, and i think that's because the knight created something that matters to him. i see it this way: the king became vengeful as his kingdom was abandoned, but as a darkner, he obviously had no way to affect the light world in any way, despite having the motivation to do so. when the knight appeared and created the fountain, he finally had a chance to change the way things were for real and he was happy to take that chance.

i believe the case is similar for queen, as well. her goal is similar to the king (to cover the whole world in darkness and rule it supreme) but her motivation is completely different. while the king wants to create this kind of a world to punish the lightners, queen wants to do it because she genuinely believes it will be an ideal world for them. the fountain obviously matters to her equally as much as it does for the king: the music trio even implies that the way the fountain's creation changed her was basically making her talk about it to no end. we see her try to achieve this goal throughout chapter 2, mainly through pressuring noelle into becoming the new knight and trying to turn the rest of the lightners into her peons. most of her schemes for that are reasonably goofy, but she can be threatening at times and is still very a much an "any means necessary" character. she shows few scruples about threatening to throw berdly to the acid, mind controlling him or capturing noelle and forcing her to create new fountains. she even says this:

she acknowedges that what she's doing might not be good and it might make her an "evil villain", but she doesn't see it as a problem as she believes it's for the best of everyone. in short, she's a very utilitarian person to the extreme. also, she doesn't seem to really consider other people's perspectives before making decisions, instead being sure that she knows what's best for them. i think she had these traits before the fountain as well, being controlling, overly confident in herself and having an "end justifies the means" approach but having a goal to achieve amplified these traits and made her act on them more. she, much like the king, seems to be calmer in castle town and without her own fountain, but i think that's very much for the same reasons as for the king: she doesn't believe she can or should take over the world anymore, and therefore doesn't feel the need to act aggressive to achieve that.

other than being something concrete to achieve their goals and therefore something that matters to them, the fountain could've also been something that affected them through being a liability. on one hand, you have an incredibly powerful tool that can help you finally achieve what you've always wanted, but on the other hand, it could easily be destroyed by lightners if they wanted to and your entire world would be gone should that happen. we see especially the king act territorial over the fountain, as he correctly believes the lightners have come to seal it. it would make sense for the fear of their fountain being sealed and their world being destroyed to affect them both and make them both want to protect it more fiercely.

finally, i also just think that the fountains being something that altered the king's and queen's personalities is something that takes agency away from them. now, as darkners, they inherently have very little agency as deltarune makes very clear: their fates could be completely altered by a snap of a lightner's fingers. in fact, the fountains being created is something that was outside of their both's control as well: had the knight not done that, neither of them could've never carried out their plans. however, it's important to me that despite this, both of them still have some agency.

the king is a character who very desperately wants to have agency and power. he rejects the power dynamic between lightners and darkners, being a darkner who resists lightners and wants to create a new world where his kind is no longer oppressed by them (he also wants more than that... instead of wanting to actually get rid of the power dynamic he just wants to turn it around, having lightners be below darkners instead. essentially, fixing injustice with a different kind of injustice). queen, on the other hand, is a darkner whose motivation still very much revolves around serving lightners. she wants to make them happy. however, instead of having the lightners make choices for themselves and darkners, she wants to be the one who makes choices for them. she very likely believes she's the only one capable of making such choices and decisions: even in her introduction, she calls kris and susie "foolish children" and herself a "computer (smart)". as a computer, she believes she's intelluctually superior to the lightners, she should control them because it's good for them. in short, it's important for both king's and queen's characters that they make choices, actual choices that matter.

so in conclusion? this is the way i like to see the fountains: as a powerful thing that both king and queen saw as useful for their goals and therefore found extremely important. again, there are a lot of other possible directions this could be taken to, so i'm not entirely against the idea of this turning out to be 100% false, lol. either way, i'm interested to see what toby does with this concept in the next chapters.

[whateverisbeautiful]

I am so glad you're back and I hope you continue to get better each day!

I wanted to see what you thought Rick would have done if Michonne had actually executed his plan and escaped the CRM in episode 3 and returned home without him. I can't imagine he'd be able to just return to being CRM Rick or as he said, "die all over again" and just let her go without being beside himself with worry about her making it back safely and wondering about her and kids' life back in Alexandria. Curious to know your thoughts! And I am enjoying your posts so much!!!

I appreciate this a lot, thank you! 💖 And really good question. It was tough even imagining a scenario where Michonne goes against her character and actually leaves in ep3. But had she actually gone along with Rick’s getaway plan and gone home, I think, like you said, Rick would have a lot of trouble trying to remain CRM Rick. He’d try for a bit to stay 'dead' and apart from them because he’s convinced that's what’s best and safest. But I think eventually his need to be with Michonne and to know for certain she and their family is safe would overpower his fear that was keeping him away. Especially because I feel like part of why he was even able to decide to die and no longer try to get home in ep1 was because he’d gone so many years apart from Michonne and Judith that he was resolved in assuming they already think he’s gone for good. And he sounds like he found comfort in how being apart meant he could always believe they were alive and hopefully living a good life without him.

But with Michonne coming back into his life and so clearly wanting/needing him with her and still being as in love with him as he is with her, I think he wouldn’t be able to ignore that or deny that forever. Plus, in reuniting with Michonne he went from having her face fade from his memory to holding her in his arms. And so with that all coming back to him so vividly, I think it would reignite something in him that eventually would wake him up to the fact that he and Michonne aren’t better off apart and he can’t really let her leave - not when you're magnets of Richonne’s magnitude. 🧲 So I think in due time after she left, he’d have a renewed drive to escape and get home. But I also think that Rick might not even have to do a solo escape after Michonne left. Because if Michonne did go home when Rick asked, you just know the A in her would have gone home just to rally Daryl and an army if need be to come break Rick out themselves. So either way, I believe Richonne would end up reunited and home together. 👌🏽😌 Thanks for asking and reading my posts!

[sl-vega]

[ 💌 ] - KISS, KISS, FALL IN LOVE! - 600 follower event!

-> message from vee!

hi hi! so, after about a year-ish(?) of being on tumblr, you guys have helped me reach 600 freaking followers! words cannot begin to express how grateful i am (and how sorry I am for making y'all wait for this event-) for everyone's support! and due to basically delaying this event since i've reached 300 followers, i've decided to make three events total for y'all to enjoy!

🍓 EVENT ONE; build a shoujo !

-> in this event, send me info about your selfship/oc x canon (via ask off anon or dm!) , and in return i'll make a concept for a shoujo/romance anime series for them!

you give me:

your preferred name/oc name

preferred pronouns

your f/o / character you wanna request

dynamic

hcs about your relationship

any specific genre you'd want/genre to avoid

any particular au as well?

and any other info!

in return, you get:

a customized netflix header just for you!

a mood board for your series

a synopsis of the plot

head canons about your show

what I think the op and eds for your series would be!

a personalized playlist!

-> rules:

this only applies to the fandoms I write for, if you don't know what I write for, check my request rules post

this is only for my followers! (no follow no service since this IS dedicated to all of them after all)

i would prefer if you sent me your info via dm, but if you would prefer to do it via ask, it must be off anon!

only one series per person!

please include as much info as possible! (makes my job a LOT easier)

🪽 EVENT TWO; smau-ing for dummies !

-> so I mainly got my semi amount of fame on here due to my genshin smaus, and I thought I may as well impart my wisdom onto aspiring smau authors because lord knows I needed someone like that when I was starting out!

rules:

ask me whatever you want!

^^ must be smau related ofc

be nice in my ask box/it might take me a while to answer if I'm busy so don't spam me with the same question!

even though all my longer smaus are genshin ones, my advice is meant to be generalized! even if you aren't a genshin author don't be afraid to ask me!

i'm not a professional writer by any means, so don't take my advice as if i'm an expert! I just want to help some newer authors/writers who want to try something new learn from my past mistakes/experience!

even though this is part of an event, you can honestly ask me for tips and tricks whenever you want!

🌸 EVENT THREE - about the author !

-> despite being on here for a while, I feel like I don't really talk about myself that much, so I decided to make a little ask game to help my moots/my followers get to know me a little better!

ABOUT VEE! - ask game !

🌸 - surprising fun fact about yourself?

💌 - fandom that people don't know you're part of/ would be surprised you're part of?

💖- your oldest fandom + your newest one?

🍓 - a hobby you really want to get into but haven't?

🪽 - favourite anime?

🧸 - fictional character that you relate to the most?

🌹 - favourite movie?

💄 - favourite video game?

🌺 - something you wish your friends/moots would get into

🌷- songs you have on repeat?

🍉 - artists you've been listening to lately?

🪷 - favourite blog theme you've had so far?

💮 - blog theme ideas that you have planned for the future?

🪻- favourite work that you've written?

🍬 - favourite Pokemon?

🍭 - random pet peeve?

💝 - your ideal romantic partner?

💐 - your favourite character to write for?

💞 - an underrated favourite character of your's/one you like but don't talk about a lot

🦄 - wild card! ask me whatever you want about myself (within reason)

divider creds to: @anitalenia @dollywons @h-aewo

-> THIS EVENT WILL PROBABLY RUN INTO THE END OF MARCH, DON'T BE AFRAID TO INTERACT/PARTICIPATE!

🍓 tagging: @shrii-kk @freyao7 @analiee6 @thetwinkims @bellflower1257 @blvdmrcnry @bloukoup @yuan1819 @fishii28 @yourstrulymauki @fungaltoehehe

[hvnishere]

if you do not identify with failure then nothing can go wrong

need i say more? no, not really but of course i will say more.

identifying with failure is the cause of failure. when you wake up from a shifting attempt and are still in your current, undesired reality, the automatic reaction for some is to admit defeat and accept that you failed. yet, the most successful people are the ones who do not accept failure. it is simply not an option that exists in their stratosphere so remove it from yours.

"will she ever lose?" man, i guess we'll never know - nosebleeds, doechii

this is the mindset we all must adopt. if you know that you cannot fail, that means that nothing can go wrong. it means you do not have to do anything, it will happen on it's own because above all else you will persevere and succeed.

this applies to manifestation as well, not just shifting because this is how life works.

you do not need to live by the auto-assigned rules of this reality. do not take what you are processing with your five senses as an unrefusable fact, you decide what's fact or not. dare to assume success when you would normally assume failure.

every moment is being spent in the reality that you want, no matter what. only accept that and nothing else. no matter what you do, say, or think YOU ARE THERE.

try this out for a week or two. whenever you start to think you are failing or might have already failed, stop yourself and remember that failure is no longer an option so what's there to worry about? stop using effort, trying a billion different methods, and worrying about time while doing this and solely focus on knowing you are always successful in your endeavors but make sure to be gentle with yourself though, this isn't a witch hunt. even if nothing seems like it's changed, it has. you have changed and that's all that needs to change in order to succeed because everything comes from you. this is an amazing foundation to have, you are gaining confidence and acting with brazen impudence.

"maybe next time it'll work? ugh, this is so hard. when will it happen? how long does it take to shift? can this be manifested?" girl, drop it. you've won, chill. how can you fail when you've already gotten first place? let's stop pitying ourselves.

remember that motivation is fickle but discipline is forever, keep your head up baby. you got this i love you! my asks are open if you need help and i'm doing this with you, you're not alone <3

[olderthannetfic]

Man...heavy vent for your blog, but I often see so many fandom people who are "successful" in the typical academic way. Masters, med school, law school, phd, etc.

And that is great. I am happy for those people! I earnestly LOVE it when my friends, mutuals, following, etc get to do their dream job or dream degree. :)

But...that will likely never be me. I am an alcoholic dropout. Which is also fine. I'm working on myself. And tbh I've worked so hard just to stay the fuck alive that even just being here is an accomplishment. I left my cult I was raised into, I live alone (which is more so something I need than something I want, but still great I can do it). yes all I have going in my life is my GED, my IOP program, my dinky work from home admin assistant job, and the HRT i've always wanted and now no longer think I'll go to hell for getting (bc that is not a real thing). I am a survivor! I am badass! I have done great, all things considering!

But...that might be all I accomplish ever. Which is fine. But it's still hard, sometimes? Im sure most people have seen that post that is about, like, niche knowledge that fanfic authors have and apply to their works and whatnot? And that is...nothing for me. Nothing. I cannot apply any type of job or education or whatsoever to my fic because that never happened to me. This isn't me insulting myself, it is just facts.

I genuinely don't hate myself or anything, which in itself is great bc life trauma wants me to hate me! and i don't! I just...feel sorta worthless because I might never achieve more than what i have already achieved, which is barely nothing, and so many people seem to be successful and I am just not.

--

The successful ones tell you about it.

But also... given how much fic is either about extreme trauma with no actual plot or about people hanging out in a coffee shop, I am confident that you can apply plenty of life experience if you want to.

[redcamellia13]

Mitsukou Analysis: Omen Arc

Okay! My last bit of sunshine before plunging into the depths of misery. *annoyingly cracks knuckles* Let’s get to it <3

Why does Mitsuba bully Kou? Like many things in life, the answer is never simple. Which also means it isn’t gonna be simple to explain. (Haaahhhh, my fingers are gonna hurt so. Bad. After. This.)

I believe it’s a combination between two factors: a want to be close to Kou, which is a task he accomplished through pranking him, making it necessary for Kou to track him down, and it simply being a part of his personality.

Kou brings out a teasing, cutely annoying facet of Mitsuba, so Mitsuba stealing the sign letter might just be his playfulness manifesting itself.

This reminds me a bit of when Kou commented during the PP arc about how supernaturals were “weirdly practical about this sort of thing.” Kind of like they don’t want to get their hopes up.

However! Mitsuba… kinda has a point. I’m not quite sure whether Kou understands this, that he can’t stay with Mitsuba for as long as he would like.

Kou has, not exactly a child like innocence, but a sincere belief that anything can be achievable if you just work hard enough.

This analysis of Kou’s behavior has little basis in reality, but if you add it into the larger context of the series, it’ll make small inconsistencies in his personality make sense, and for whatever reason, it just… feels right within his character.

For example, in the Sacrifice of the Grim Reaper Arc, either Yokoo or Satou (sorry, I can’t remember which) noted that Kou never complained, which wasn’t due to bottling his feelings up, but not understanding the concept of whining.

At first glance, this has nothing to do with my point, but hear me out here.

Perhaps Kou believes, on a subconscious level, that because no matter how hard he works nothing gets better, something is wrong with him and he doesn’t have the right to complain.

I’m 99% sure I’m self-projecting, but if I find any more evidence supporting this, it’ll become quite interesting to think about.

Ughhhhhhh. You’re telling me the answer to why Mitsuba pranks Kou was here the whole time? I reallllllyyyy should’ve reread all these panels before typing that whole lame-ass essay.

Pushing that aside.. “No matter what I do… I just can’t bring myself to dislike him.”

Okay, I’m kind of stupid, and still don’t completely understand why Nene wondered if that was why he spent time pulling pranks on Kou. Is it because he’s trying to combat his enjoyment of Kou’s personality?

Maybe my original thoughts were correct, and Mitsuba pranks Kou as an excuse to interact with him?

And- let’s just pause for a moment. Is it just me, or is that quote a tad bit romantic? If you cannot dislike a person, that implies you like them unconditionally, which sounds a whole lot like you have a crush on them.

I don’t have much to say here, except for the fact that immediately after mentioning how it is impossible for Mitsuba to not enjoy being around Kou, we transition to Mitsuba asking Nene if she’s scared of falling too deeply in love with Hanako.

Almost like when you bring up Kou, Mitsuba’s mind automatically thinks of falling in love…

Well, how nice. He went from a perverted stalker enchanted by Mitsuba’s good looks to a “closet psychopath”. What an improvement.

And yeah, Kou’s actions during the Nightlife arc really weren’t logical, or something a sane person would do.

I believe I touched on this during my Nightlife analysis, but in summary, Kou’s decision to have a competition to see if he would basically assist Mitsuba in suicide based around a skill that not even Kou himself thinks he’s good at.

Actually, I might make a longer analysis on this, so let me know if you would like to read it :)

Right in the panel below, Mitsuba does get the answer to Kou’s question.

He’s mad because he ran off to eat ice cream after he caused a huge inconvenience to Kou…

And this does logically make sense.

But the way Aidairo chose to present Kou’s reaction to Mitsuba telling him this has a sense of intent to it, as Kou and Hanako’s faces parallel each other.

Why is this important? Since Hanako has a reaction that implies jealousy, something the reader can clearly infer, Aidairo paralleling his reaction is very telling.

If we are supposed to draw the conclusion Hanako is jealous, what conclusion are we supposed to draw about Kou?

And then, on Mitsuba’s side of the interaction, he’s either trying to make Kou jealous or Hanako jealous by framing he and Nene’s shopping trip together as a date.

Because he was talking to Hanako when he said this, the intent of this sentence was most likely the latter.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Kou, isn’t it a bit hypocritical to get angry at Mitsuba for trying to get you alone with Nene when you just tried to go out on a date with Hanako? (Rejoice, Hanakou shippers).

Although we don’t actually know when he wanted to do this, so I guess it can be forgiven.

Okay, what have we got he-

………..

I’ve got my work cut out for me, don’t I?

Starting off with Kou’s expression in the 6th panel: it’s a mix between shocked, perhaps fear, but certainly not happy.

Which is odd, no? We have been lead to believe Kou has something of a small, innocent crush on Nene, so a negative reaction to his friend wanting to set him up with her is anomalous.

In the very next panel, which I didn’t include for some reason, he tells Mitsuba, “Didn’t you get the memo? All four of us are going,” with what I can only describe as a salty expression.

Now, for Mitsuba. I gotta break the news Mitsukou shippers, it is not looking good for his side of the relationship (in a does he like him sense).

If he was some form of displeased of how Kou’s friends were shipping him with Nene, he certainly isn’t showing it, even asking if he would like to go on a date with her.

And this, toxic people on the internet who believe Mitsukou’s unhealthy because they “don’t care about each other’s wellbeing”, is why you are flat. Out. Wrong.

Mitsuba is actively attempting to make Kou happy by giving him an opportunity to date a girl he thinks Kou has a crush on. (Of course, Kou rejects the proposition two seconds later, but I already talked about that).

Not much to talk about here, besides the way Mitsuba and Kou are looking at Sousuke’s mother.

What is with that? Kou doesn’t dislike her, so why would he have an expression that’s honestly closer to disgust than anything else.

And then for Mitsuba, who has never shown any sort of discomfort or dislike for things related to Sousuke, it doesn’t make sense for him to have the same disgusted/nervous/uncomfortable look that Kou has, so what the hell is going on?

Why not? Why aren’t you sure about this? Is he worried being with Sousuke’s mom is going to bring up painful memories, or is he more concerned about Mitsuba pulling a prank on her?

So many questions, and yet so little answers…! (Although I’m sure if I just properly thought about it for 0.048 seconds the answer would be ridiculously simple, but my body is functioning on solely highly caffeinated tea and copious amounts of sugar.)

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Regarding that scene on Werepapas, what a coincidence. My friend just finished watching the series up to season 5. While he agrees that the writing is far from ideal, while discussing Representation, he didn't get that Adrien is a senti! Only Felix. He felt that it was ambigous. He hopes that maybe Adrien was made thanks to the Peacock but without him being exactly a senti (he still can't exactly explain Gabriel's influence).

With Werepapas... I was astonished, and I don't know if my friend's theory might not be as farfetched... we are giving the writers too much credit, right?

(Post that spawned this ask)

I think it's perfectly valid to be on the fence. I wouldn't put money on Adrien being human, but I wouldn't put money on him being a sentimonster either. He probably is, I wouldn't hold hope for him to not be, but it's not explicit canon and that does matter to a certain extent.

There's a rule in story telling that no one is really dead until their body is show and that applies to more than just death. Any twist isn't truly canon until it's explicitly stated in the text and Adrien's status has never been officially stated. It's only strongly hinted at. This was likely done with purpose because this show is aimed at children. You don't go the subtle route with five-year-olds. They don't know enough about story telling for that to work.

Writers use this hints only trick for a variety of reason, but when it comes to writing in long running shows, the most common reason is to keep the story from having to commit to something before the writers are sure about it as they don't know how many seasons they'll have to write and what plot points they want to use. Right now, the writers can backtrack Adrien's status without retconing anything since he was never said to be a senti. Same goes for Kagami. The only canonically confirmed senti is Felix.*

This noncommittal tactic where nothing is confirmed in canon isn't a writing style I love, but it does have its place. Reveals generally should be teased out over time and not given after the first hint. Tease it out too long, though, and it's no longer solid setup and payoff. Instead it's just an annoying stalling tactic. When it passes from good pacing to stalling tactic is highly subjective and depends on how complex the reveal is. Adrien's status isn't remotely complex and was setup all the way back in season four, so I feel comfortable saying this has gone from the story slowly teasing out the reveal to a stalling tactic which is very much in line with the show's writing style. They're dragging the love square identity reveal to death. I will not be shocked if this gets the same treatment just to keep people watching in the desperate hope that they can finally get some clear answers. It's how show's like Miraculous work. There's not enough here to actually tell an eight-season story so we get this instead.

*Do NOT quote Twitter at me. Twitter is not only not canon, but Twitter "canon" has been retconed and contradicted by actual canon on several occasions. In Twitter canon, Luka is two years older than Juleka and that's clearly not true in actual canon. It's why I try to avoid using Twitter as a source. There are times when I feel you basically have to acknowledge it because it's the only source for any sort of explanation for some nonsensical but important thing canon did, but even then I never assume the statement is truly canon. It's just the closest we can get to canon at the given moment. Which is embarrassing because most viewers are not checking Twitter to understand this show for children!!! The text should speak for itself on all major bits of lore. Twitter should be reserved for fun but pointless facts like what Ladybug's suit feels like.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully and mulder moments from s5

in episode 1, mulder sneakily enters scully's apartment. he sits in the dark in silence; as she gets undressed for bed, he says “keep going, FBI woman”, which only slightly surprises her (her face is shocked, but she doesn't yell; just asks "mulder? what are you doing? why are you sitting in my bedroom in the dark?" which is an incredibly reasonable question! he tells her that he killed a man, and she thinks he is joking, so he clarifies that he isn't)

scully waking up in the hospital bed in episode 2 to mulder by her side- she’s worried someone will see him as they just spent a good amount of time faking his death, but he smiles, grabs her hand, sits on the bed, and kisses her cheek, saying “i’m officially among the undead” (WAHHHH)

(and when she is so worried about how he will have to confess everything, including killing that guy, he does his best to prevent her from dwelling on it- “hey scully, how about those yankees?”)

how she very seriously warns him that skinner is the guy on the inside, and he’s touching her face, saying no, he’s not; mulder knows that skinner made the deal with CSM, but she doesn't know he risked his career and life to save her

and then she offers to take the fall for shooting that guy, saying “mulder, if i can’t save you, let me at least give some meaning to what’s happened to me” (tears. TEARS)

(and when her family arrives to visit her in the hospital, he says he was just leaving, giving her one last kiss on the hand before heading out)

mulder coming by her bedside again after considering taking CSM’s deal to join the dark side, but ultimately refusing: “then why’d you come here if you’d already made up your mind?” she asks, and he laughs: “because i knew you’d talk me out of it if i was making a mistake” (the total trust they have in each other......)

when mulder leaves for his big hearing, she tells him that he’ll be in her prayers (and he kisses her cheek once more, telling her to ask the “father to say a few hail mulders for me, okay?”)

(she is literally laying in bed dying, and despite him never understanding her beliefs and her having, you know, imminent death on her own doorstep, she talks to god about him. intervening with the creator on his behalf. and he, instead of being dismissive of religion like he usually is, accepts the help with a joke and a kiss on the cheek... i feel like i could write a poem on the subject and my emotions still wouldn't be fully expressed)

they’re in the car on the way to a team building seminar in episode 4, and mulder leans over to scully, asking her to please kill him now

however, she immediately realizes he's come up with a new plan to get out of the whole thing by investigating a case: “you want me to tell them that you’re not going to make it to this year’s teamwork seminar?” (he grabs her shoulders, bending over a little to meet her eye level) “yeah. you see that? we don’t need that conference. we have communication like that, unspoken. you know what i’m thinking”

scully trying to start a fire to keep him warm after his body goes into shock- she asks if he has ever thought about dying, saying she was angry while she was sick, and talking about the struggle to give suffering meaning. and then after he makes some joke to get her laughing, she picks up him, placing his head in her lap (“i don’t wanna wrestle”, he mumbles, to which she replies “get over here. i’m trying to keep you warm”)

he asks her to sing as they cuddle, so he can know that she is awake and keeping watch. and then when she indulges him, his whiny ass requests the chorus, too <3

when he wakes up he is so scared to see that she isn’t there, but she was just getting some berries LMAO

mutual roasting in episode 5; she says she thinks the townspeople are so bored and obsessed with what they see on TV that they’re imagining a monster, to which he responds “i am alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype”; when he is spouting frankenstein comparisons to the case, she hits him with the “mulder, i’m alarmed you would reduce this man to a literary stereotype” <- they were having a nerd off!!!

“given the power, who could resist to create life in his own image?” “we already have that ability, mulder; it’s called procreation”

and the famous black and white dancing scene to cher music <3

in episode 7, mulder offers to stay with her while emily is dying, rubbing her back as he says so. but she says she wants to do this alone, so he walks away, and she climbs into emily’s bed

and at the funeral, when scully’s mother asks her if she is ready to go, she says she will stay a little while longer and get a ride back with mulder. soon after, she asks “who are the men who would create a life whose only hope is to die?”, and he answers “i don’t know. but that you found her… and you had a chance to love her… maybe she was meant for that, too” (doing his best to find the meaning in the suffering like they talked about in episode 4, because he knows she finds it incredibly difficult... yeah. and her choosing to spend more time with him than to go home and be with her family... whew)

scully refusing to let mulder fall for pusher’s tricks in episode 8, telling him to hang up the phone before he gets sucked into his games

linda bowman uses the same ability to push her will onto others to convince mulder that scully shot herself. he sees scully, begging him to make her stop, before she shoots herself and collapses. he screams, and imagines himself cradling her head. and when the real scully is in front of him, the mind tricks make mulder think that she is linda, so scully has to try and prove it is really her (“you killed her!” “your mother is tina. your sister is samantha. modell warned you- don’t play her game”). scully has enough time to save the day by shooting linda, and by the time he realizes it really is scully standing in front of him, she gently grabs his arm, calling for an ambulance. the terror of it all. and the loyalty that can inspire such terror...

in episode 9, she tries to explain how it would be physically possible for someone to swallow pounds of dirt, and he just smiles at her; “well… you asked me for answers. those are the best ones i’ve got” <-and listen, after his endless ghost and ghoul explanations, i think your lungs to dirt ratio sounds perfectly reasonable, scully

mulder also decides to dig up a grave in that episode, while scully warns him anything he finds will not be admissible in court. isn’t that just so Them? she’s not gonna stop him, but she will make sure he knows what they can and cannot use as evidence.

“i don’t think this was an act of grave robbing, scully” “no, that’s what we were doing” <- LMAO COME ON….

(there’s also a scene at the very end where mulder is stuck in endless mud and you can see scully helping him up, which greatly warmed my heart)

episode 10’s whole dynamic while scully is on vacation and he is back at the office, but especially this exchange over the phone:

“no, i don’t think it's witchcraft, mulder, or sorcery”

“yeah, well, maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for”

“like evidence of conjury or the black arts, or shamanism, divination, wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice? charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones or hex sins, or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?”

“scully?” “yes?” “marry me” “i was hoping for something a little more helpful” (i watched this scene 3 times because there was SO much to adore, including how serious his face was)

she finds him trapped inside an AI torture chamber in episode 11, and pulls him out, mumbling “you’re going to be okay, i’m going to get you out of here”, dragging his limp body to safety

scully walks into their office, where mulder is sitting, at the start of episode 12: “mulder…” “DON’T. don’t even start with me”

scully describing him as “characteristically exuberant” (“hope you brought your cowboy boots! yeehaw!") as she recounts what happened, and him describing her as “less than exuberant” (“well, obviously it’s not a vampire” “why not?” “because they don’t exist?”)

when scully tells mulder not to rule out what cassandra spender has to say in episode 13, she says the words slowly and carefully, and they lock eyes as he nods, recognizing the significance of the moment in terms of her own beliefs

when scully is in the hospital after the explosion in episode 14, mulder wakes her up by running his fingers through her hair, then giving her the gentlest smile; she asks what time it is, and he laughs- but this makes her self-conscious, so he explains “i’m not laughing at you. i’m just very happy to be standing here talking to you, that’s all” (screaming. btw)

(he then raises her bed a little so they can look at each other while he explains what happened, but a nurse shoos him away, saying she needs rest; he leaves with a thumbs up despite her yelling after him)

“the truth i’ve been searching for? the truth is in you” <- man hold on. hold on, man. MAN-

scully undergoing regression hypnotherapy to remember what happened to her during the explosion. mulder is sitting on the couch next to her, looking terrified as she screams. and despite not being fully present as she recalls the horrors, she taps at his hand next to hers on the couch, wordlessly asking him to hold it. when she comes to, she’s panting, and asks if he was there the whole time. he nods

and later they hold hands in the back of a cop car as they get taken to jail <3

scully breaking into mulder’s motel room while he is undercover in episode 18; he screams at her to get out, and denies being undercover, even though skinner told her everything. she stops his yelling with a breathy “oh, mulder, what did they do to you?”, and sets his poor broken fingers as he winces

(and then she is able to recognize him on the tape of the bank heist despite being masked because of his fingers <3)

then they jointly scream in the CIA guy’s face because they realize he was testing bioweapons and killing civilians… synchronized rage looks good on them

mulder decides to go by himself to investigate the mysterious manifesto in episode 19. not even a minute after he walks out of the door from where he was questioning a witness, he calls her to ask her to look through all of the x files, searching for a specific phrase, which she finds. and then we get to hear him say “scully, at the risk of you telling me i told you so, i think it’s time for you to get down here and help me” “i told you so”, she says with a smile

later, he’s rambling about his bug conspiracy, still wearing the clothes that got all bloody from being taken hostage, and she asks if he has gotten any sleep

scully visiting mulder in the hospital after he goes off the deep end, seeing bug people everywhere, breaking into someone’s house, and attacking skinner; she slips her hand into his as he is restrained, telling him she hopes he can see through this delusion: “you have to be willing to see” “i wish it were that simple” “scully, you have to believe me. nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. you’re my… one in five billion”

the hug at the end of episode 20 as they find the x files in ashes </3

[hesbianyaoi]

The Soukokus and the Four Symbols: Pt 1

STARTING OFF BY SAYING: This is just a fun connection/"theory" (if you would call it that) I made while reading BSD, so not everything will be connected exactly to the T. I just love mythology and Byakko has already been confirmed to be a celestial being thanks to chapter 119, so in any case, buckle up and enjoy my insanity.

WHO AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE THE FOUR SYMBOLS?

The Four Symbols—also known as the Four Guardians or the Four Gods—are constellations and mythological creatures in Chinese (and other countries in the Sinosphere) culture that are believed to be the protectors of the four cardinal points: the North, South, East and West.

They also had correspondence with the Five Phases (Wuxing), the philosophy that the fundamentals to the universe were composed of elements and their relationships to one another. These elements include nature, seasons, times of day, directions, and colors.

The Four Symbols are the Azure Dragon of the East, the White Tiger of the West, the Vermilion Bird of the South, and the Black Tortoise of the North.

Sound familiar?

It's like how Soukoku + Shin Soukoku is associated with the colors blue/red and black/white. This alone wouldn't be enough for me to make this entire thing such a big post in the first place, though; it's the very nature of everything else in Bungo Stray Dogs concerning the Soukoku's and the subtle symbolism they have connecting them to these divine beings.

For the sake of my own mind, we'll be discussing Shin Soukoku in this post, as they have the most relevance to the recent update and to their associated guardians/gods. Interesting since they create such a unique Singularity, right?

ATSUSHI: BYAKKO, THE GUARDIAN OF THE WEST

We have the most information about Byakko thus far, so it only seems fair to start off with her.

Byakko's associations with Wuxing include the color white, sunsets, autumn and its desolation, and the west itself. These are things Atsushi is commonly associated with, such as sunset/moon symbolism, how the sun sets in the west during the autumn equinox, even his joke title of the Wimp of The West in chapter 33.

Atsushi's white tiger is something we already know is highly sought after from all around the world, and we already know that the tiger itself is a "bookmark" to locate the book. The Book is obviously representative of something otherworldly, something as heavenly as its association with creation and life, and of course, Byakko is the literal guide to finding it. Because of course she is.

Byakko is more than just a white tiger; it is the embodiment of justice, protectiveness, and righteousness. It is the king of beasts and a capable warrior. She's more than just an ability (as we see in Dead Apple, alongside Rashōmōn, since they're the only two that take their own forms compared to everyone else's abilities being mirrors of themselves) as she resides inside of Atsushi's body as another physical being entirely.

Canonically, abilities are described as receiving their power by their user's souls, which is why an ability will disintegrate once their user dies.

But Byakko is not just Atsushi's ability; she is an entire being residing within him, two souls in one body. And not just any being, but a god.

It's also speculation on my part, but Byakko is often referred to as the "key" to finding The Book when in actuality, she's most likely protecting it. Fitting of the White Tiger's role as a guardian of justice and morality—if it fell into the wrong hands, balance would be broken.

AKUTAGAWA: GENBU, THE GUARDIAN OF THE NORTH

Also known as the Black Warrior of the North, as the character 武 translates to warrior/knight and is a much more faithful translation. Compared to Atsushi's more blatant connection to Byakko, Akutagawa's connection to Genbu relies more on subtlety, which I would say picked up during chapters 117.

His death, becoming a vampire, and the time spanning from his death until now could also count as a form of hibernation, given the fact tortoises hibernate and winter is the prime time for hibernation to occur, which aligns with Genbu's associations with Wuxing: the color black, winter and its frost, midnight (prime time for traditional vampires), and the north itself.

From the beginning, Akutagawa has always been associated with black as his signature color. Rashomon, his armor, is his protective "shell" like that of a tortoise. In the most literal sense, he is a warrior—a true knight, further emphasized by Bram's final wishes and desires to protect. It's also worth mentioning that the Tortoise is revered as a pillar of support during challenging times.

Honestly, need I say more?

Genbu is also associated with resilience, wisdom, and most importantly, immorality. The story of the Black Tortoise (Xuanwu) varies from legend to legend, but the general base for the story is the same: Xuanwu was once a mortal who achieved enlightenment and became immortal by pulling out his stomach and intestines, the last remains of his human parts. Once he pulls them out, they become demons, and he must subdue and tame them—quite literally overcoming his own sins.

In a twisted sense, Akutagawa's death was a form of enlightenment.

He dies believing that Dazai truly didn't abandon him, that this was all just a test, and thus he dies with a smile on his face. Now that Akutagawa is awake, he doesn't remember anything besides his knightly duties. It is a new beginning for him, one without the demons of his past weighing him down internally.

He is anew. He is enlightened.

SO, WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?

That's the thing. It could mean nothing at all except for speculation. It could mean something bigger in store for the future of the story. The point is that we don't know what could happen or what any of this could mean outside of correspondence with mythological archetypes. Regardless if this actually contributes anything to the plot, the similarities between Akutagawa-Atsushi and the White Tiger-Black Warrior were too fun to resist talking about, which brings up another point.

Byakko and Genbu, Baihu and Xuanwu, Atsushi and Akutagawa, the new Double Black. They all represent the same thing: balance.

The tiger is representative of its protectiveness and righteousness whilst the tortoise is associated with its wisdom and the strength of a warrior. All four guardians are responsible for the balance of the cosmos and nature itself, and for the Soukokus, it is the same.

The balance they fight to keep is not only between themselves and each other but for Yokohama, for the fabric of reality itself. (And it's something I want to go deeper into when I focus on Dazai & Chuuya next.)

[epickiya722]

I think about how Hawks was praised for being the youngest Pro Hero to reach the spot he did meanwhile Miruko was also in the top five UNDER 30 years old while also being the top female hero.

With just a Rabbit Quirk...

But okay.