#..........whether he will be able to or not is debatable

[revelboo]

Poor Shockwave mining and digging old memories he can't seem to remember. Makes me wondering what really happened between the Reader and senator shockwave.

Yeah, I wasn’t that enthusiastic about writing the good senator, because we know what happens to him. Same with Megatronus Prime, but people kept asking. So I’m figuring out their stories as I go, but Megatronus’s will likely be a happy for now ending with the story stopping before Sentinel betrays the Primes for power. Whereas this one… is a bit harder, but I think I know where I’m going

The Worst Is Yet To Come Pt 5

Senator Shockwave x Reader

• Eyeing him as messes with your console and his weird tablet, you blow out a breath. “Sure. Take away my only means of contacting another human. That’s fine,” you mutter as you debate whether to put your heavy gear back on. It’s not like the giant cares if you’re in your underwear, but it’s smothering with it on and cold with it off. Wish you had any idea what he was thinking, because his face seems almost kind as he glances at you. But maybe he’s just learning all he can about you before he decides to embalm you and stick you in a jar beside toothy over there.

• “Is that what you are? Human?” He asks as you fidget with your gear, pleased that the language patch came through and seems to be working. But he’s never heard of humans before, although, there are so many organic races scattered through the stars that it’s not too odd. Watches your hands still and your head tip up to stare at him as your mouth falls open. “Hello, little one.”

• “You can understand me?” You blurt, excitement spinning you tight, because you can understand him, too. Thank goodness. “You have no idea what it’s like to get slung somewhere and everyone’s giant. No one understands you and they chase you.” And you’re crying despite yourself, so thankful you can talk to him, understand each other. “Do you know where the other humans ended up?” If you can find the others, someone might be able to figure out a way home, because you have nothing.

• Holding up a hand as you excitedly babble, tiny fingers fisting in your suit and he flinches when you start leaking, tears rolling down your cheeks. “You’re the only human I’ve ever seen before,” he mutters, spark aching at your distress. Such a little, helpless thing. Making him want to make promises he’s not sure he can keep. To get you back to your people. “Start at the beginning, how did you get here?”

• Scrubbing at your eyes as the tears of relief just keep coming, you offer him a tremulous smile. Because he’s listening. Trying to help and you’re sobbing, breath catching like a frightened kid. Trying to explain it right when you know next to nothing about the science that got you here. You’d just been a paid volunteer. Expendable and hasn’t needed to know how the gate worked. But he listens to your convoluted story, only interrupting to ask questions. But you feel lighter, hopeful he’s going to help you go home.

Previous

[whatifitis]

♡ for the better - OP 81 ♡

Summary: for the first time in your life, you were happy. you were loved. and now the person who loves you, may grow to resent you.

WC: 3318

CW: fluff, angst, spiraling a bit, not proofread

It started off as just being friends. A group of you were brought together by an interest you all had in common. But you two had managed to grow a special connection over the course of a month. It started as just a silent adventure between the two of you. Taking a walk together in the park, not talking, just enjoying the comfortable silence. Each walk in the park, he began to grow more comfortable and confident around you. He started picking flowers each walk, to tuck into your hair. He started to ask you more questions, to get to know you. 

One day, he stopped to look at you and said “Do you wanna go out?” with a shy smile.

You smiled brightly at him “Yeah, I'd love to.”

Your first date was something you’d never experienced. No one had ever put so much effort into you. He had set up a little picnic at the park you two frequented. There was a light green (your favorite color), checkered blanket on the ground. A top the blanket sat a picnic basket, packed with your favorite snacks, 2 painting canvases, paint brushes and some paints. To say you were overwhelmed would be an understatement. His simple actions meant so much to you. You never thought someone would be able to care for you as he did. 

He knelt down onto the blanket and reached out a hand, inviting you to sit by him. You took his hand and sat across from him. 

“This is so incredibly sweet. You didn’t have to go all out, I mean, it’s just me. It’s not like the Queen is coming… right?” you’d asked with a giggle.

He gave you a toothy grin and said “No, no, the Queen isn't coming. This is all for you. I tried to think of the best thing to do for a first date with you. You’re so amazing, I didn’t want to disappoint.”

“You could never disappoint me.” 

With that, you two began to eat the contents of the picnic basket. Both of you laughed and smiled, talking about the craziest things. One question that got you two riled up a bit was whether sprinkles were a seasoning. Who would’ve thought two people could debate for so long on the subject. But you had fun. 

Once the two of you had finished eating, you and Oscar began to paint each other. As you guys painted, loving glances were exchanged between you two. 

When you two had both finished painting, you took turns showing each other your works. 

“Alright,” Oscar started “Countdown from 3 and I’ll show you the masterpiece that I’ve just created, alright?”

“Alright, ready? 3, 2, ,1….” 

You burst out laughing at the sight of what you’ve been shown.

Oscar furrows his brows but can’t hide his smile “What? What’s so funny? It’s good!” he insists.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” you try to say through your laughing fit “but that’s so bad. I mean, what happened to my eyes? They look wonky, they’re 2 completely different sizes.”

“Well excuse me, Misses I have an art degree so I can tell people their blood, sweat and tears result in absolute shit.” he laughs with you.

“Come on, let’s see your supposed “masterpiece” now.” Oscar said.

You turn your canvas around and smile brightly at him. 

He’s stunned. He’s speechless. He’s ashamed of his painting of you. 

“Love, I- HOLY SHIT! This is amazing, baby! Oh my god we have to hang it up somewhere. My house, your house, a museum, the Met, THE LOUVRE.”

You’re laughing again, wiping the tears from your face. 

“It’s just a painting Oscar, it’s alright, no need to hang it anywhere. Especially not a museum darling.”

“Wrong. I’m keeping this and hanging it up at home.”

“Whatever you want, my love” you said, smiling fondly at him.

-=+=- 

One day, you and Oscar are chilling in the park. Oscar laying back on his arms while you lay your head across his stomach. The two of you sit, making idle conversation with each other for a few hours. 

“Y/n?” Oscar says, looking down at you. 

“Oscar?”

“I don’t want to lose you. I hope this never ends. I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

You sit up to look him in the eyes properly.

“What’s going on? Why are you saying this?”

“I’m just in my feelings. But I’m serious, I love you Y/n. I love this feeling I get when I’m with you. I don’t know the word for it, or if there even is a word for it. But I know I always want to feel this way. You mean more to me than life, darling.” 

Your nose feels fuzzy, tears are forming in your eyes. You grab his hand and squeeze it three times. 

You give him a smile, “I love you, Oscar. You don’t know what you mean to me. Everything you’ve done for me, it means so fucking much. If I ever lose you, I don’t think I’d be able to live. Thank you, my love.” 

You two share a kiss. It’s soft and gentle, but at the same time, it feels urgent. You feel like you can’t stop, like you can’t let go, cause if you do, it’ll slip away. But you don’t, and you won’t. You’ll hold onto each other until your last dying breaths. Possibly even past death, you’ll have each other. 

-=+=-

“Has anyone seen Oscar?” You ask for what feels like the millionth time. 

Oscar has been missing for half an hour and no one can find him. He’s meant to be on the track in 15 minutes but he’s not answering his phone. 

You’ve been running around the paddock like a maniac, calling out his name. You don't have long til all the drivers are meant to be out on the paddock for the national anthem. 

You’re sprinting down the halls when something catches her eye. You stop and look to see a figure pacing back and forth in a dark corner. You know exactly who it is. 

You begin walking towards Oscar and stop 4 feet away from him. He’s too in his head to notice anyone is near him, so he keeps pacing with his head down. You walk to him, and grab both his hands in yours. You press your intertwined hands into his chest to try and ground him. 

Oscar is startled at first but once he sees it’s you, his face falls and he lets go of the tears he’s been holding. 

You immediately pull him into your arms, wrapping them around his neck and scratching the back of his neck softly. His arms wrap around your face and he nuzzles his face into your neck. You let him cry it out for a minute before speaking.

“Darling, what’s wrong?”

He sniffles as he says “Panic attack I think.”

“Do you know what brought this on?”

“I think I’m just tired. We’ve been working for so long, going from place to place every week. I just don’t think I’m performing as well as I should be. I’m not as put together and the fans have noticed. I hate letting them down and I just don’t know how to fix everything.”

“Baby,” you say as you grab the side of his face gently, wiping away some of his tears “The fans understand. You said it yourself, you guys have been put through the ringer as of late, especially with all the crazy regulations the FIA created. They know this and understand if you’re not as aggressive and calm as usual. You need to stop putting yourself down like this, love. Things happen, so we just have to manage.” 

“I know, but it’s hard. A lot of them travel from so far away just to see these races. They’re buying tickets, booking hotels and flights, just to watch us be the best. All for me to go up there and be a disappointment.”

“Hey, no. You’re not a disappointment, Oscar. You’re anything but that. You’re stubborn, stupid at times, and mental. But you’re not a disappointment. And I love you because of all that, okay?”

“Okay” he says, giving you a shy smile. 

“Alright, let’s get you cleaned up and on the track for everyone to see your talents.” 

“Thank you, baby, for everything. I don’t deserve you.” 

“No need to thank me baby. If anyone is undeserving of the other, it’s me. I don’t know what I did to be able to have you in my life.”

With a quick kiss, you two set off to the Mclaren garage to help Oscar freshen up for the race. 

-=+=-

“Darling I told you, I can’t go. I’ve gotta meet Mark and some other guys. We have so much to do before we even think about renewing the contract. I don’t have time for this.” Oscar said whilst putting his shoes on.

“I asked you weeks ago if you could come. And you’d said yes. We’ve had this planned for ages. You can’t just dump our plans.”

“I can if it’s for work. This is something that I can’t ignore. This is my job. The thing I’ve been working towards my whole life. I have to get this stuff done.”

“You’ve been away from home every night for the past month. And you’re telling me you can’t just take one night off? Is that much more important than one night with your girlfriend?”

At this, Oscar stops and his face drops. He didn’t realize how you might have felt, that you’d felt like you came second. He realizes his neglect towards you and your feelings. He walks to you and holds your hands in his. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I’ve been treating you like shit, not taking into account how you feel. I’ll do better, I promise. I’ll call Mark and cancel.” 

“No, Oscar. It’s okay. Go to the meeting.” you say softly. 

“No, no. we’re gonna do what we planned.” he says, pulling his phone from his pocket while simultaneously taking his shoes off. 

“Baby, you don’t have to. I was just a little upset. I’m okay now, you can go.”

“No, go get ready. I’ll call Mark, then we can go out like we planned.” he smiles at you, trying to make you feel better. 

“Are you sure? I’m fine with postponing. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, you were hurt. We’re going, end of discussion.” he said as he kissed your head. 

That night, the two of you went out as you’d planned. You went and had lunch at a new restaurant you had been raving about to Oscar. He was happy to take you and was pleasantly surprised when the food turned out to be the best he’s ever had (of course not as good as your cooking). 

After lunch, the two of you took a walk in the park. You and Oscar walked hand in hand for ages. Enjoying the quiet breeze and the warming sun. During your walk, you two had discussed the origin of the argument that took place earlier and worked your way through it. With some compromising, you two felt better about the result of said argument. 

After your afternoon walk, you and Oscar headed home where he showed you exactly how sorry he was. And he didn’t use just his words. 

-=+=-

He’d been planning this for ages. Tonight was the night he’d ask to be yours forever. He’s been in love with you for ages. He can’t think of a better time to do this. 

“Baby? You ready to go?” Oscar asked you from the front door. 

“One second darling. I can’t get this shoe on.” 

“Do you need help?”

“No baby, I got it.” you said as you walked up to him. He’s never seen something so beautiful. You’re standing there in your favorite dress, some pieces of jewelry and a simple pair of heels. 

Oscar holds his hand out to you, and you immediately grab it, kissing him before walking out the door with him right behind you. 

-=+=- 

The two of you enjoy a nice dinner at a restaurant you and Oscar frequented. It was so nice to get out of the house and spend some time with Oscar. You’ve missed him a lot since he’s been away for work, but it’s what he loves to do. And you love seeing him happy. 

After dinner, the two of you take a walk in your favorite park. Walking, hand in hand, you ask Oscar “What do you think the meaning of life is?”

“42” he says laughing to himself.

“I’m being serious,” you laugh with him “what do you think it is?”

“I think it’s whatever you want it to be. It can be to find the end of space. It can be to find out where the megalodon went. It can be about finding the love of your life, your soulmate…. speaking of which.”

He stops where he is, moving to stand face to face with you and grabbing both your hands in his. 

oh shit

“Y/n, I have loved you for a long, long time. I’m not gonna lie and say it was love at first sight cause, ya know, that’s kind of crazy. But I will tell you that the second I laid my eyes on you, I was enchanted by you. And I was really hoping you weren’t in love with someone else, hoping you didn’t have someone waiting on you. Since the day we met, there was never a day where I didn’t think about you. I love you Y/n, so fucking much.”

He gets down on one knee while pulling a box from his pants pocket. He holds the box in both hands, presenting it to you and opening it. Inside was the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. He knew you weren’t a fan of traditional engagement rings that had a huge stone on the top. He knew you loved the rings that looked as if they were created in a magical land, far far away, crafted by the most powerful jewelers of the land. 

“Y/n L/n, will you do me the honor of allowing me to be your husband?”

You stood there motionless with your hands covering your mouth that had been hanging open since he began his speech. Tears were streaming down your face. You couldn’t believe it. He actually want to marry you? He loves you that much? How did you get so lucky to find your person?

“Are you sure? Like really sure?” you’d said.

“Yes I’m really sure darling. You are the love of my life. I want to spend forever with you.” 

Tears are streaming down his face too. The anticipation is killing him. 

“Yes. Yes, I want to marry you too.” you finally say.

“Oh my god! I love you so much darling, thank you so much.” he said as he began to stand up. 

Once he was standing straight up, he pulled the ring out of the box and put it in your ring finger. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around your hips and pulled you impossibly closer. Neither of you stopped or let go for ages. You guys were it for each other. There would never be anyone else. 

-=+=-

it’s for the better 

i know it’s for the better

it’s for the better

You were pacing the living room that you shared with Oscar. Your bags were already packed and in the car. 

You couldn’t let Oscar go through with this. You couldn’t let him do this to himself. He deserves to marry someone better. Better than you. You love him so much, but you weren’t enough for him. You didn’t want to bring Oscar down with you.

You continued pacing the living room, waiting for him to come back home. You feel so sick like you could throw up. Your heart is racing and your hands are shaking. You didn’t want to let him go, but it would be selfish to hold onto him, when he could do a lot better than you. 

The sound of the front door caught your attention. Oscar was home. You stood there in the middle of the living room, fighting your hands.

“Darling, I’m home.” he’d called out from the front entrance.

He walked into the living room to see you standing there, pain and sadness written all over your face. 

“Hey darling, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” he said as he walked to you. 

“We need to talk.”

“Alright, what’s going on?”

You took a moment, trying to find the strength to say it. 

“We- need to break up.”

“What? Why? Did something happen?”

“No, I just think it will be best for the both of us.” 

“You’re confusing me darling, what do you mean “better for the both of us?”’

“I mean, you deserve something better. Someone better. I can’t be that for you. I can’t give you everything you deserve. I love you too much to hold you back. So I’m letting you go. I’ve already got everything packed, I’ll be going.”

“What? No. No, we’re not breaking up. Y/n, I love you. I don’t want to lose you. You’re it for me. I don’t want anyone else. You’re what’s best for me. You’re what I want. You give me everything I could ever need or want. There’s no one I’d rather be with.”

A tear slips loose and runs down your cheek. 

“I’m sorry, Oscar. But I have to let you go. You’ll be miserable if you stay with me. I need you to be happy, even if it’s without me. I’ll always be there to support you for everything. I just can’t be the one right next to you, with you. I won’t let you do this to yourself. Goodbye, Oscar.”

You begin to walk out the door as Oscar starts to plead, asking you to stay. 

“Y/n, please don’t go. If you need some space and time to think then I’ll give that to you. You can stay here and I’ll stay with Lando or something. We can get through this, darling.”

You kept walking out the door, towards your car. Oscar was running after you. As you began to get into the car, Oscar ran up to the window to try and convince you to stop.

“Baby, please talk to me.”

He’s crying now. Tears upon tears were streaming down his face. He was begging you.

“Baby, please. If it was something that I said or did then I’ll fix it. I promise, I’ll fix everything. Just please don’t go. I need you.”

“Oscar, please let go.” you say weakly. “You have to let me go.”

“No. I won’t. I don’t want to live without you. I can’t live without you. Please don’t go.”

“I’m sorry”

And with that, you put the car in drive and made your way out of the driveway of your once shared home. You didn’t have the strength to look in the rear view mirror. You didn’t have the strength to see him. 

-=+=-

Once you got to the hotel room you had booked for the week, you dropped your bags and just started sobbing. You can’t believe you let him go. You already regret it but he does deserve better. So much better than you. He’ll find someone. You know it. 

You can wish all you want, but it won’t bring you two together. 

All you can do is repeat the same things over and over, trying to convince yourself that…

it’s for the better

it’s for the better

it’s for the

for the better

i know it’s for the better

know for it’s the better

for the better

the better.

[mydogatemymotivation]

I kind of think that people focus a little too much on the Lasat Merc that Kallus mentioned in the Honorable Ones. I get it, because it's an interesting scene that Kallus describes but I think focusing on the mercenary himself is, like, not the point. I don't know whether he worked for Saw long term and was a partisan himself, or if he was just a hired gun because Saw needed some extra muscle, but him staying hidden and kind of shrouded in mystery is just so much better for Kallus.

First of all, focusing on the merc makes what happened to Kallus kind of fall to the wayside, it takes the focus off of him almost entirely. I do think that it makes sense from Kallus' pov because I think he fixates on the mercenary after the fact, maybe as a way to cope, but there was a lot more going on with him specifically.

He was the only survivor, for one. No matter what side someone was on, surviving that situation is traumatizing. Especially with the calculated way Kallus described it (we also have to remember that he may be something of an unreliable narrator here, he's traumatized and biased). I remember watching The Pianist which was, unfortunately, a great movie (I say unfortunately because it's a Roman Polanski film, and I had no idea about the allegations at the time) (I watched it for class and wrote a paper about it, WWII movie) but there's a scene in it where there are people who are laid on the ground face down and shot in the back of the head one-by-one, except the last one because the soldiers clip runs out. So he takes the time, standing above this guy, to reload his gun, then shoots. Even just as a film scene that shit stuck with me. You can't tell me that living through that and not knowing whether or not the gun was going to turn on you wouldn't be the reason you have nightmares for the rest of your life. You can debate about motivations and the partisans all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that living through that means you're never sleeping through the night again.

Kallus also says that he couldn't move. I don't know if he was pinned down, or if he was in shock, but I always took it to mean some kind of injury. Something like an incomplete paralysis, nerve damage to his spine, that causes temporary paralysis. Long recovery time, surgeries, physical and/or occupational therapy, etc.

He would've been a very young boy, trying to do good (even if he was misguided), injured, unable to move, watching all the boys his age die one-by-one, waiting for his turn, being the only survivor, the medical trauma, the physical pain - that mercenary doesn't need to be evil to make this properly traumatizing for Kallus. He could be a completely neutral actor.

Second of all, Kallus' anger at the mercenary is exaggerated. He's angry at himself. A lot of people I think ask the question of "how did Kallus stay with the Empire after what happened on Lasan?" Honestly, I think the answer is denial. There's no way to deny what happened on Lasan, but there is a way to bury your head in the sand. Not ask questions, assume that there was some grand plan you're just unaware of and that if you knew all the details then everything would make sense, put more trust in the people you definitely shouldn't be trusting, and find someone else to blame. Basically, double, even triple, down, because if you don't then everything you've done is for nothing. He takes his anger out on Zeb and clings to this narrative about this mercenary to try and throw together some explanation he can get behind mentally. Also keep in mind that Lasan happened like, two years or so before the beginning of the show. So as little time as Zeb has had to deal with what happened to his home, Kallus also has had two years of mental spiraling to try and tie himself into knots to justify what happened, and he only seemed to get crueler and angrier in that time frame (that random stormtrooper he kicked to death??). It wasn't until he was able to talk to someone about what happened (and I don't imagine talk therapy is encouraged in the Empire) that he was able to come back around. Kallus only lasted three, maybe three and a half years after Lasan before he finally couldn't take it and left (and, maybe it's just me, but I don't really count his time under Vader. You do what Vader says in order to survive)(but that could completely be my perspective). But all the while, every time he fought Zeb, he was fighting that mercenary and himself.

The mercenary left him alive because 1) he just flat out didn't see him, 2) Kallus was so badly injured he thought Kallus was dead, 3) Kallus was the only one without a helmet and the mercenary saw a young boy. We never see this mercenary. I don't know if he died, or if he left the partisans after deciding he didn't like Gererra's tactics, or if he was a hired gun whose job was done. Either way, I don't think Kallus should ever see him again. I don't know if I have the words to explain why (sorry if I repeat myself, but I'm trying to put words to my thoughts) but somehow Kallus' ability to let this issue go, in my mind, is directly tied to his ability to heal from the Empire. I don't necessarily think that this is a thread he needs to chase, or an issue he needs closure on. His lingering resentment is petty and small compared to Zeb's capacity to forgive, and I think he would beat himself up for still feeling angry. His ability to close the door on this is directly related to his ability to accept Zeb's forgiveness. When people talk about the mercenary, I just, I feel like, they're missing what the mercenary is for Kallus. And in real life I could understand wanting answers about something that happened to you, but in this instance, narratively, the mercenary is left unnamed for a reason. This character is a catalyst or a shadow in Kallus' story, he's not meant to be examined for his own sake, he's meant to be examined for what he means to Kallus.

Idk hopefully this makes sense I should've gone to bed a while ago, this was just something I've had on my mind for a minute. (and as always, this isn't me trying to absolve Kallus of anything he did, just thinking, trying to understand him, etc., cuz he's interesting)

[autisticandhyperfixatingg]

Spn prompt: Supernatural s10e12 "About a Boy" when Dean is turned into his 14yo self, but make it trans.

Ftm!Dean being forced back into his 14yo body and then having to debate whether to stay like that or get the Mark of Cain back.

Maybe he didn't turn back immediately, but had to stay that way a bit longer

Having to come out to his friends (Cas and Charlie), them obviously accepting him bc ofc they would

Cutting his hair of, binding, and finally looking like his 14yo self wanted to

Or maybe he already knew he was a boy at 14, and now he had to deal with the consequences of his unsafe binding all over again

Everyone saying he looked like 12 rather than 14

Trying his best to stay closeted

And ofc Sam's reaction to it all

He obviously knew, although Dean had made a point not to talk about it

Being able to help his brother this time, purchasing a binder and better clothes

Trying his best to be able to find a spell to age him up

[paperlifted]

When it comes to the age-old (haha) debate on the 2k3 turtles and the age order, I ultimately come down on the side of there being no meaningful 'age' order. Whether or not they hatched at exactly the same time, the show is pretty clear about them being mutated at a very similar developmental point, and then raised together under the same conditions by the same parent. They call each other brother often; they refer to Splinter as their father occasionally; they never throw around any 'big bro's or 'little bro's, and Splinter never introduces any of them as his eldest or youngest. Literal, physical age doesn't factor much into their family dynamic.

A mix of temperament and assumed individual responsibility absolutely does, however, and this is what tends to make Leo and Mikey fixed points on either end of the spectrum and leaves Raph and Donnie playing eternal switcheroo in greater fandom discussions. Leo and Mikey sit very firmly in their niches; Raph and Don can be a little more situational, I think.

(More blah blahing below.)

Mikey's easy. Mikey doesn't want any of the hassle that comes with being A Responsible Person. He's a classic enneagram 7 in a lot of ways, unwilling to experience real pain, fear, or boredom if he can avoid it - and he puts effort into avoiding it! Mikey doesn't get away with things because the rest of the family can't help but remember him as an adorable baby and want to spoil him; he gets away with things because he's a conniving little shit (affectionate) who has guaranteed there are consequences for asking Michelangelo to do anything he doesn't really wanna. "Would you rather have Mikey happy, or Mikey bored?" Bored Mikey is making it everyone's problem. He whines, he sulks, he goofs off, he deliberately does jobs badly so people won't ask him to help... and every now and then he has to eat crow when the rest of the family dismisses or knuckles down on him as a result.

It's not a mindset that can really develop without some amount of enabling, of course, and Mikey wouldn't be Mikey if he didn't have three brothers and a father exasperatedly willing to take up at least some of his slack. He accepts their lead because leadership is earned, and he'll cheerfully shrug and admit he's never tried to earn it; they have, and he trusts in that with so little question it borders on hero worship at times. The pushbacks he gives are the pushbacks of his entire life philosophy - does it really have to be this serious all the time, dudes? is carrying around all that worry and anger really helping any of us? - but he's self-aware enough to be able to articulate the reliance he has on his family to shoulder stresses for him. It softens his selfishness: he respects his brothers, the disciplined Leo most of all, and his faith in them is a powerful thing. When things get dire, they're the ones who'll know how to fix it, and he'll do the part he's assigned.

Leo is similarly fixed in his position through both nature and conscious choice. "Tales of Leo" shows us a kid who was already the hall monitor of the family, the reliable one, the worrier, more inclined to reinforce the rules than break them and forever keeping an eye on the others. He takes himself pretty seriously, for both good (a hard worker who has genuinely mastered his art and has depths of emotional resilience to draw on) and ill (a condescending bossypants who experiences failure as a blow to his core self-identity), and it seems to have been that way well before the show began.

We never see the moment Leo is officiated as The Leader, so we don't know for sure how much nurture was involved leading up to to it: whether there was a point in their childhood where Splinter often used to leave Leo in charge when he was away on trips, whether he always planned for one of the brothers to step in as head of the family in preparation for the inevitability of his own passing, or whether it was strictly meant to be a hierarchy for above-ground excursions and the risk of conflict that slowly became more of a norm than Splinter ever expected. Whatever the case, by the time we meet him Leo himself has clearly accepted that he is the leader and spends the rest of the show actively pursuing that role. Because they're a team and a family, the more Leo grows into this position - and he does grow into it! check out how much pushback he receives from his sibs in the very first episode versus after "Tales of Leo" - the more the others accept it as part of their domestic hierarchy as well, though there's always room for some ribbing if Leonardo starts leaning on them a little too heavily. They're unsettled and upset whenever the role is vacated. They rely on him to be who and what he is, and support him from their own places.

Don and Raph, meanwhile... in my early fandom days it was very widely accepted that Raph was the 'second eldest', and that's not without reason. Unlike Mikey, Raph does want to be in charge for at least a little while, it's suggested he's stronger and possibly bigger / bulkier / hardier than the others, and even after he concedes the role of leader he maintains his niche as protector. The responsibility Raph takes on himself is very simple: this is his family and no one messes with it (except him). Doesn't matter if the threat is physical or emotional, external or internal - if something is seriously fucking with his family then he ain't having it. He'll slap down killer robots and sibling self-recrimination with the same unflinching determination. It makes him a sturdy shelter the others can turn to in times of distress, and a quick responder in a crisis.

What holds him back is that he frequently shirks the responsibility to take charge of himself. Raph rides the highs and lows of his emotions without brakes, and it makes himself reckless and impulsive in ways that could be genuinely dangerous - if he didn't have three brothers there who'll usually check him before it gets to that point. "Raph's free not to think," Mikey points out, and it has to be acknowledged he takes liberties with that freedom, the same way Mikey takes liberties with his license to slack off. Sometimes he's the one who's messing with his family, and sometimes he's aware of it, and sometimes he doesn't do as much about it as he could. Raph undermines his own value as a 2IC every time Leo has to devote his focus to yanking him back into line. It's definitely something that improves as they all grow up, but it's also just an accepted truth in the family hierarchy: someone has to be ready to keep Raph from going off half-cocked.

On the flipside, Don has taken on a huge amount of self-appointed responsibility as the family technician - he maintains their home, builds their equipment, and provides invaluable advice in the field. I've referred to Donnie as the strategic 2IC a few times because, genuinely, he knuckles down with Leo a lot to hash out their plans, be they the rare times they get to actually lay out a strategy or on-the-fly reactions to the strange things they encounter day by day.

At the same time Don, like Mikey, doesn't really seem to want the specific responsibilities of leadership. His inventions are a passion, not just a necessity, and he likes to have the time and space to devote to them, and to his learning, and to his friends. He doesn't want to be constantly keeping an eye on everyone, or always having to be the voice of fretful reason over the voice of 'that seems kind of fun, though'. He outright abdicates from intervening in family conflicts sometimes, a la his iconic "ooh, I'm not touching that one" moment. Leo and Raph are fighting? Don and Mikey are rolling their eyes at each other about it. No thanks. Not his bag.

I wouldn't call Raph and Don twins myself, but I also don't know that I'd portray them as having the same kind of consistent hierarchy with each other as they do with Leo and Mikey. It's complicated! Raph's role as protector makes him more of a watchdog by simple nature, consistently covering Don's back on the battlefield, worrying about his emotional state, being the one turned to in a pinch (the equally iconic, "Raphie, we've got trouble down here..."). Don will take charge, though! He and Splinter call a lot of the initial shots in "Shredder Strikes Back Part 2"; he drives most of what they do in "Return to the Underground"; he is calling the hell out of those shots during "H.A.T.E". And Raph doesn't object when he does. Don's smart; if he says this is how it has to play then, well, most of the time Raph goes with it unquestioningly. There's some real admiration there.

The fall of the Lair in "Prodigal Son" is another interesting insight into their dynamic. Don effectively decides that they need to retreat, but he won't do it without Raph's agreement. It takes both of them to make a call on that scale, and though Raph clearly takes on the ultimate burden of being the one to pull the trigger - and thus carries the most anxiety about the consequences - he needs that check from Don to be able to do it. He needs that reining in from his own aggressive impulse.

Long story short - they're a weird family! Trying to wedge them too hard into any sort of pre-determined dynamics like "older" or "younger" is always guaranteed to risk flattening out some of the finer nuances that arise when you're a quintet of mutants living isolated in a sewer. It's still really interesting how they all play off each other.

[munipe]

hii cutie its 🚬 i was just wondering if you could do dating yandere saiki? also love you!!

Imagine She-Tyler The Creator and Frank Ocean

Tw: Stalker themes and descriptions—no graphic stuff

Yan!Kusuo whose obsession began when you lingered around him at lunch, sitting next to him and eating silently—you even offered him your coffee jelly.

Yan!Kusuo who began with reading your mind

Yan!Kusuo who found himself attached with the peace in your head, all normal and mellow

Yan!Kusuo who fine tunes his head to listen to your thoughts, at first

Yan!Kusuo who makes his head go dizzy using clairvoyance on you, eyes crossed until his head hurts. He just wants to know how you are, next.

Yan!Kusuo who mentally wards off anyone that tries to approach you with ulterior motives

Yan!Kusuo who realizes stalking you would be easy

Yan!Kusuo who takes a few minutes every night to stand in the corner of your room, invisible (he wasn’t risking it)

Yan!Kusuo who doesn’t take many trinkets, he doesn’t wish to raise too much suspicion. He’d only take minuscule items: Hair ties, any sort of jewelry, chewed on pencils, your favorite pens, anything tiny that could be lost easily

Yan!Kusuo who is fully able to just stare out your window whenever he wants, but he doesn’t. He finds using his powers too much is boring.

Yan!Kusuo who genuinely just follows you around for the love of the game

Yan!Kusuo who, out of pure curiosity, watches you during school. He watched you in your athletics and clubs

Yan!Kusuo who decides to follow you around after school

Yan!Kusuo who finds himself standing outside of your house

Yan!Kusuo who finds himself out your window, disregarding your mind that debated on whether something was there.

[jamietwat]

Jamie and Roy spending ridiculous amounts of time together and Phoebe knowing about it definitely means that Jamie’s around Phoebe a lot more in the off-season when she’s off school and Roy’s off work but still being Jamie’s personal trainer for free (and she definitely likes bossing Jamie around just as much as Roy does and finds the ridiculous shit Roy makes him do hilarious)

And you know that thing where kids love to randomly go watch this, I can do a somersault or want to see me do a cartwheel? and then you just have to awkwardly stand there and be like wow whether they actually can do them or not (and sometimes several times in a row have to try to think of something new to say the fifth time they do the exact same thing and then look to you for a reaction)

I’m just saying at some point they’re in some park and Phoebe definitely pulls a look how good I’m getting at cart wheels, Uncle Roy! around Jamie at some point and while Roy just stands there like 🧍‍♂️ and gives compliments that gradually get more and more deadpan and debates turning it into saying how much more impressive that is than anything Jamie’s done all morning but he doesn’t because he’s 90% sure that would just lead to Jamie getting all indignant and competitive and proving he can cartwheel too as if Roy isn’t already annoyingly aware of that from when he was dying trying to keep up with Jamie in Amsterdam while he was cartwheeling and practically skipping

But obviously Roy not saying anything doesn’t matter anyway and Jamie turns it into being like watch this to Phoebe and cartwheeling too and turning to Roy after like well go on, tell me how good I am at that too

Roy deadpans somehow it’s far less impressive watching a grown man cartwheel for attention. It’s just sad, really

But Jamie isn’t offended at all and just shoots Roy an obnoxious smirk and insists you’re just saying that because you know you couldn’t do one. Even trying would probably end with you needing a hip replacement or something

But before Roy can even properly argue or say something bitchy back, Jamie’s turning back to Phoebe with a how about this then? But even though it’s her he asks, it’s Roy he looks to the moment he finishes running a few steps and doing a one-handed cartwheel

And Jamie’s like well now are you impressed??? And god, Roy resents that he is and he could make a dig about how useless of a skill it was as an adult and how that wouldn’t accomplish anything on the pitch and he’d just look like one of the kids that picks flowers on the pitch instead of playing or even paying attention to where the ball is, but instead he rolls his eyes and says yeah okay

And Jamie beams but he doesn’t have time to properly gloat and give Roy shit because Phoebe’s already bossing him around telling him that he has to teach her how to do that too

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

I've been thinking a lot about the scene involving "Clone Force 99 died with Tech" and trying to figure out why it STILL doesn't sit right with me even now, 5 months after the Bad Batch finale aired.

Because really, looking at the line and how Hunter and Wrecker respond to it from an in-universe standpoint, it does fit the specific scenario well. Crosshair is getting ever closer to Tantiss with a severely wounded Wrecker refusing to give up, and he's worried. So Crosshair drops that bombshell of a line, reminding his brothers that the squad has permanently changed, in an attempt to try to save Hunter and Wrecker by convincing them to leave him and find a way to contact Rex as he storms Tantiss on his own, because it's "what he deserves." Hunter responds by saying Omega and the clone prisoners need all of them - which (being generous with my interpretation) is likely meant to address the "I deserve to die alone" sentiment Crosshair expressed by instead providing him another purpose. Then Wrecker responds by saying they know the risks and aren't charging in recklessly - addressing Crosshair's original concern.

So I think I would ultimately be fine with this scene as-is if 1) it didn't end up being the last time the brothers ever reference Tech, and 2) it didn't come at the end of an entire season's worth of complete mismanagement regarding the Tech storyline.

Now, I admit my perception will likely permanently be colored by the fact that when first watching the finale and hearing Crosshair say that line, part of me still clung to hope that Tech would show up before the end credits, but in between heaving sobs the analytical part of my brain was going "...Really? A full season of baiting us and THAT'S how you're going to tell your audience Tech isn't coming back? If that's really the case so help me..." And we all know that really was the case 😫😤😭

(Screaming into the void. Starting to realize I do a lot of void-screaming when it comes to season 3, especially with everything after "The Return.")

But even setting aside how soul-crushingly painful that line is, what continues to drive me absolutely bonkers about it is:

1) Tech sacrificed himself so that his squad COULD carry on without him, whether that meant fighting or not, and yet again the narrative itself refuses to openly acknowledge this. Even if Crosshair isn't at a point where he can really accept this (and that's a valid stance for him to take), it would have gone a long way for the show (via Hunter or Wrecker in this case specifically) to still definitively highlight why Tech had done what he did, especially after an entire season that ended up only implying that Tech's sacrifice held the squad back from achieving their goals.

(Another fan told me that they believe the line was a good way to acknowledge how important Tech is because the squad will never be the same without him. While I see their point, I think if the show really wanted to push that sentiment it would have landed a lot better if worded a bit differently and stated during, I don't know, a memorial for Tech. With all Tech's family there. Not desperately thrown out there by Crosshair in the middle of a mission as an attempt to shock/guilt Hunter and Wrecker into saving themselves - after all, as noted above, the purpose of the line in context isn't specifically to honor Tech anyway.)

2) There's no follow up to address the fact that Tech sacrificed himself, in part, so Crosshair could still be saved - nothing to provide that vital reassurance to Crosshair that he was/is WORTH saving.

3) After an entire season of being excruciatingly vague about whether each Bad Batcher has fully grieved or not, they're STILL keeping it vague and robbing the characters of any cathartic moment to acknowledge Tech in a way that actually respects his sacrifice and shows his family - his squad - is acting to honor his memory.

4) Above all, IT'S THE ONLY TIME TECH IS REFERENCED IN THE FINALE OF THE SERIES IN WHICH HE IS A MAIN CHARACTER and it's not in a way that highlights his positive influence on his brothers, nothing to indicate that this mission to Tantiss would have been just as important to him as it is to the rest of them so they're going to pull together as much to honor him as to accomplish their objectives, nothing to make that reference anything more than a knife to the heart. (Oh, sorry, there is that goggles reference in the epilogue. With Omega, alone. Yet again, the brothers have no meaningful interaction about Tech.)

And the thing is, even if when Tech does come back (and I firmly believe he can), the show that is specifically centered around the Bad Batch should not have ended without providing meaningful closure for all of them. (Yes, I'm still banking on another clone-centric show being in the works; but Rebels clearly left the door open for further stories while still leaving things wrapped up for all the main characters at the end of that show, and that could - and should - have happened here.)

...Anyway, now that I've gotten all that off my chest, maybe I'll be a bit calmer during future rewatches of the finale 😅

... Scratch that, I'll probably need to spell out all my grievances about the CX plotline before I reach the point of watching the finale with relative calm 😬

[hood-ex]

So anyway do you ever think about when Dick was delirious with fever and how he also had a gunshot wound in his leg, but despite that, he limped all the way to his motorcycle and took off after his talk with Bruce?

Because like?? Why does this man always just drive off after he's been shot?? I know Bruce didn't even realize that Dick left mid-conversation, but he really just let Dick take off like that without going after him or sending anyone to check on him?? I mean, Dick was so bad that Alfred full named him and demanded that he get back in bed to rest.

Nightwing (Vol. 2) #99

Dick clearly shouldn't have been moving around let alone driving his bike. And it's like, Bruce, I know you just lost your whole family/team but please try to keep your remaining family from crashing in the street.

[sincerely-sofie]

I’m the anon that sent in all the Ruby stuff! It makes me so happy that you love her so much. I didn’t expect her to be such a beloved character to you and I was kind of nervous that you would have hated her tbh. ^^;

Something Ruby related — I had a fic about Twig and co. confronting the siblings before I ultimately scrapped it because I could not write villainous characters without making them feel cliché. I do remember this one line said by Ruby’s sister when she lashes out towards Twig:

“You wouldn’t get it. You have a cushy life style and you baby your daughter instead of actually raising her. We’re doing that ungrateful, spoiled brat a favor — we’re teaching her how to survive. You wouldn’t know the meaning of that with that silver spoon in your mouth.”

I don’t blame you for struggling with not making the siblings feel cliché— writing villainous characters gets 900x more difficult the second you don’t want to make them sympathetic. Ark was fairly simple for me to write, even in scrapped scenes where he was all-in with his villainous role during the events of the post-game. Twig’s aunt, meanwhile, gave me a heck of a hard time while I was developing her backstory.

[razzle-zazzle]

you need to STOP IT with these ho/me/stu/ck aus. first psychonauts, now ninjago? STOP! BONKING YOU WITH A NEWSPAPER!

NOOOOO DON'T BONK ME!!! it won't stop me unfortunately, i love adding hs trolls to things 😌

anyway 💅 alternia as another realm within the 16 and maybe there was an invasion of ninjago at some point in the past, i'm still working out details. but the basic gist is a bunch of trolls immigrated to ninjago and honestly between the serpentine and munce and geckle and merlopians and the occasional skulkin and all of the all of it and everything else they fit right in tbh. they mostly keep to themselves but there is a bit of mingling between humans trolls and serpentine (up until the serpentine war at least), but trolls as elemental masters is next to unheard of given that trolls and humans can't really reproduce together that way.

except when wu goes to find all the holders of the elements of creation for the green ninja prophecy, well. Colton Bekkit and Nya are very obviously trolls, and wu knew that his brother had somehow managed to have a son with Tomeseek. what he wasn't expecting was for the masters of ice and lightning to have been raised by trolls, too. things are about to get chaotic (colton ends up crushing on the other three in three different quadrants pretty much. immediately. nya and kai had to raise each other and so nya's not really in touch with troll culture. things are only going to go off the rails from there)

[yuukimiyas]

GOOD MORNIE WORLD!!! startin my day off v early & v strong bc!!! EEEP!!!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*｡ i just got the first sketch back for my bleach tattoo!!! it looks SO SO GOOD SO FAR!! he started so quick like bunnies too!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ i can’t wait to see it in color!!!

[thrilling-oneway]

Also shout out to the person who said in the tags of that airi post who said that half the debates in this fandom are over gender or sexuality because that’s true and it pisses me off immensely

[mad-hunts]

let me psychoanalyze you, but also be nice.

you're unbelievably lonely.

maybe the teacher always sat next to you on the bus because it was the only open seat on field trips. maybe you were the fourth kid in the group project who was only there because they needed one more person. maybe you spent all of 7th grade lunch in the library. i think it's important to remember that it won't always be like that. it might take longer than expected but nobody is alone forever. sometimes it's hard to remember that just because you've felt unloved before, it doesn't mean you're unloved now.

tagged by: i found this one on tumblr as well LOL

tagging: @oculusxcaro, @divingdownthehole, @veroxins, @killerharvey, @sanguine-salvation, and anyone else who might like to take this quiz!

[tic-loud-tic-proud]

New coworker is making almost twice as much as I am while having worked here for less than a week

[aparticularbandit]

so here's the thing.

memories in oaei are all kyoko and are opt-in. there's a yes | no function, and it seems to function pretty well. if there's a no, the memory doesn't download. with the exception of the most recent chapter (for the most part), memories are all numbered. ordered. arranged. there is a password, but it's starred out, so you don't know what it is, and one of the memories uses another password.

memories in oafc are all ryoko/junko and are...not entirely opt-in. the yes | no function is still there, but it only functions about half the time, if then. if there's a no, that can be overridden...and often is. none of these memories are numbered, and they don't necessarily come in any particular order. here, we see the system break down. all of the memories have a password - and like in oaei, they mostly use the same password - and it's not starred out. you get free reign to seeing which password is used. because a lot of times what's being inserted as the password isn't the password but something else entirely.

memories in oalh can be anyone (currently, they are only ryoko/junko and chisa, but there will be at least one kyoko one later - debatable whether we will see hajime/izuru have any or not, but it's possible). they are not opt-in. there is no yes | no function. if a memory shows up, you will remember. there are no options here. because memories are haphazard in terms of who remembers what when, there are no numbers, only flavor text. there are no passwords. why would there be a password? you don't get an option to say no, which is really what a password is. you will remember, whether you want to or not. sorry, not sorry.