#..... my 1 ass is tired of that shit.
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ark aftermath
#being in the ark with knives who had gathered such immense power definitely fucked with vash's brain#their fight before the ark haunts me. what do you mean 'blackness of decay' jesus christ#it reminds me of 'youve got more of them...scars'#knives seeing that his brother is actively like. dying.#also what do u mean knives tried to merge with him. that definitely took a toll on both of them#anyway so vash has vivid hallucinations of his brother and whatnot#wolfwood hates himself for that obviously#just imagine the horror he would experience if vash called him 'knives'#vash literally spitting blood because 1) anxiety 2) hes so fucking tired and tortured and shit#he wants a break guys give him a break#but ooobviously vash (the man he is) he'll never accuse wolfwood of trapping him in the ark. of betraying him etc#so he'll just be happy to be there alive and relatively well and hope the same for his brother#at least for the time being before vash meets him and kills him#this is the longest comic ive made sorry if it feels a bit rushed/not well concluding#best i can do#its been kicking my ass for the past week and i just wanted to be done w it#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun maximum#trigun fanart#my art#millions knives#<- for a fragment of a second#what else#tw hallucinations#tw blood#tw emetophobia
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My grandma is 80 and almost never wants to go do things, but every year she gets excited to go shuffle around her little shops on Black Friday with me and my mom and eeeeevery year she heehaws at me buying my annual supply of handsoap from bath and body works during their buy 3 get 3 sale. I have so much soap, by god, if I run out again before next November I'm going to kill myself
#Creepy chatter#Since she's 80 and frail we definitely don't do the morning chaos :/ wouldn't want to be in that sea of crazy ass people#We usually started puttering around at like 3 or so in the afternoon when everyone has tired themselves out#And the morning shift has been mercifully released home#We got to the store right as the fresh shift was really rolling and ig the girl I spoke to loved black Friday energy#Bc when I apologetically asked for help looking for my partner's fav soap she terminator locked her eyes across the store#On a distant top shelf with one (1) bottle pushed in the very back 10ft above anyone's head#And practically cartwheeled over and CLIMBED THE SHELF? to hand me a bottle of soap 😨#Thank you miss but holy shit
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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one thing i really really really hope is that the netflix show doesn't fall down the rabbit hole of trying to make all the ships fit in and work. atla was SO GOOD but the one downfall to me was the ships. I felt like it really took away from the main story sometimes and the chemistry Wasn't Great.
I'm happy for them to explore different relationships, but I just hate when shows feel like they have to adjust for the most popular ship on the internet. It's almost always worse off for doing that.
i thought all the pairing off at the end of the show was very weak and honestly quite disappointing... and I just hope that netflix doesn't get bogged down in the pressure of pairing off characters.
#atla live action#netflix atla#zuko#katara#aang#sokka#suki#i love Not Knowing !!!!#i love leaving shit up to interpretation!!! when shows give you things to contemplate!#to be clear this isn't me saying that there should be No Relationships in the live action I just think that shipping has it's place in atla#and it shouldn't at all be at the forefront#of course this is just my opinion and I am literally just one (1) random person on the internet#so this post means as much as you want it to mean#(and my aroace ass is Tired of romantic relationships taking the forefront as if they are the Most Important Things In The Whole World...#esp for something like atla where they go OUT OF THEIR WAY to show you that there many different types of relationships that are special an#powerful and complicated in their own way.... see zuko and iroh... the gaang as a whole...)#live action series
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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who hates operación triunfo more edgelords who thing they're above a silly music contest or fans of operación triunfo
#vivitalksot#quién se apunta para bombardear gestmusic#no but#this isn't about 'oh they won't sing amapolas my ship oh nawr'#this is about how the goddamn program has already treated paul and alvaro (and also bea now that we're on topic) like shit#i shan't speak about gala 8 but#you know what happened there#in interviews when asked about which songs they would like on tour#they both said they wanted amapolas#they even fucking repeated it in the weird ass video statement they released an hour ago#saying that they would've liked to sing it but it didn't depend on them#it's the only ship song to not be sung on tour in the history of ot btw#which is already insane#once again it's a good song a good duo and numerically it just makes sense. it just made sense#as we know now. it looks like paul is going to sing fewer songs than people like chiara#PAUL IS THE RUNNER UP#during tour the better your position in the contest the more songs you're allowed to sing#it doesn't look like paul will sing more than two duets and two solos#and even if he sung another duet#the ones that are left are 1) el encuentro with chiara which i enjoy but i wouldn't say it's tour - worthy#also it would make chiara have like 5/6 songs so. lol#2) little green bag. also a cool performance but. martin has so many songs already#3) bad habits. no ❤️#and there's also the trio he could do which is the worst trio in the contest so. lovely#i'm so tired
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they're in love your honor
#i hadn't thought of Peri as the domestic type but you know what? after the past few years he's had he probably does settle down a bit#he gets tired of Doing Things yknow?#and baldur's gate's harpers probably werent the only ones targeted by the cult so he would have plenty of rebuilding to do in waterdeep#went from having the Trauma Zoomies to refusing to travel anywhere further than a tenday away in the span of three years#he probably starts wandering again after a bit though#sometimes convincing Gale to come with him sometimes not#he gets Gale to come with him to Eberron one (1) time#in my head (because i can do what i want) the whole 'wizards live a long-ass time sometimes' thing happens to both of them#(peri's. less pleased about this than gale is when they figure out what's going on)#so they've got plenty of time to get into trouble#also idk if the age extension thing is meant to always be a thing wizards do on-purpose but in my mind it's not always#sometimes the weave just Decides and there's not much you can do about it#(mystra is also upset that her ex and her ex-champion who's VERY loud about her being an asshole are sticking around somehow)#(she might be intrinsically tied to the weave but 1. it's a phenomena all on its own and 2. there are other deities of magic in faerun)#(she may be in charge so killing her messes shit up but it doesn't make sense that she's. like. the only conduit? if that makes sense?)#(so her being around makes the weave accessible to mortals but someone would eventually take her place if she died like she did with Mystral#(and the weave is intrinsic to faerun so it will always regenerate when lost. because how are you supposed to create a new god...#(...of arcane magic if the weave is completely destroyed?)#(i'm fully talking out of my ass btw)#(idk what the official wotc answer to this is and i dont care. weave is like a force of nature and cannot be fully controlled b/c I Said So)#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3 tav#peregrine faulkner#gale x tav#bg3 fanart#my art#wizbands
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one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...
my son in christ you are 21
i literally want to fucking die
#dont get me wrong! good for him! i'm happy for him#but he really said he started the channel when he was younger (turns out that was 18) and it felt like time to move on#i am 31 and only got the job i love a year and a half ago#i have been dating and living with the same person for... 10 years in 11 days and all i've ever wanted is to get married#(and be a mom but i dont think im ever getting that one but im gonna go ahead and focus on that one zero percent or i'll cry)#i say. like all of this doesnt make me want to cry lmao#i am so incredibly blessed to have what i have. like truly i ended up with the perfect sort of life for my awkward mentally ill ass#but i cannot NOT spiral just a little when people younger than me have the things i want so so bad and then also talk as if their young age#is older than it is. i know you feel mature and older but you are still so fucking young. and okay honestly - now that im rambling - thats#just part of it huh?? i mean a lot of the spiral is actually Wow. I really lost so much of my life (so much time. so many opportunities) to#mental illness and other shit i couldn't control and there are people who didn't fucking have that. there are people who didn't have to#deal with any of that!!! honestly!!! and you just.. dont do anything to prepare for the future when you do not expect there to be one for#so long and then you can't stop fucking everything up and then oh look! you're in your 30s and-#god i cannot fucking do this#it is 1:35 in the morning and im tired but now i feel really stubborn about going to bed. i should. i want to. but also i dont.#actually going to bed is where The Horrors are so#this really was the dumbest fucking shit i think im gonna go to bed & play p.m on my phone and try to be a little less pathetic#maison speaks
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oh hey it's been a few days since I made a personal post
#ash rambles 💚#uhhh yeah thanksgiving weekend i've been kinda busy#i made cupcakes. decorated them. ate pasta as a thanksgiving meal (usually it's traditional indian food so i welcome the change)#watched h.aikyuu again. very close to putting a.kiteru on the f/o list. got a new crush on a d.ungeon m.eshi character.#last two days have just been me being dragged out to go shop. I'm tired LMAO but i did get some pikachu merch!#my fixation on pikachu is being very well fed#for one of those days i hadnt straightened my hair yet and i had some people say things about it. I'm not quite as sad about it now but :(#anyhow my hair is straightened now! aside from. you know. what people say about my curly hair#i do think i prefer it straightened#how it looks and feels#... no offense to my ancestors- my hair is just waist-length and it's hard as shit to take care of LMAAOO#anyhow that aside. i've been playing a.lan w.ake 1. it's pretty heat#a.kiteru t.sukishima is so fine#my current predictament is that it's about time for me to gwt out of bed... but i'm kinda sleepy and bed is comfy#and also my plushie of my wife is next to me-#annnnddd yeah there we go thats whats up#apologizes if i'm inactive soon#school is kicking my ass and i#'ve got a bit of work to do so i can finish the quarter off strong#yippeeeeeee!
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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bro if i don't stop getting matched with new players who have never played the fucking game before in their lives as someone with almost 4K hours in overwatch I am legit gonna snap
where the fuck is the beginners queue??
why the fuck is my team made up of people who don't know what the fuck they're doing on even the most basic level PLEASE
#like it is in no way the new players fault it is entirely on blizzards garbage fucking matchmaking for putting them on my team#meanwhile the enemy is diamond/masters/gm because like. that is where i sit rank wise. why is my high diamond ass being matched#with people who JUST bought the game#PLEASE.#PLEASE STOP PUTTING THE NEWEST MOST BABYASS PLAYERS ON MY TEAM THIS ISNT FUN FOR ANYONE#ITS NOT FUN FOR ME ITS NOT FUN FOR THEM ITS NOT FUN FOR THE ENEMY TO MOW DOWN BABY PLAYERS#im not mad at the new players im mad at blizzard for being so fucking garbage its not hard to put me with other diamonds or some plats#come ON.#and people will STILL defend this unpolished piece of shit release - no there's no excuse for this much blatant fuckup#i want overwatch 1 back man. it was polished. it was fun. it had little details that the new one doesn't. it was a finished game.#overwatch 2 is an unpolished beta at best im so tired of the garbage matchmaking im so tired of roll after roll after roll#its not fun!!!!!!!#this game is a fucking downgrade from the original i want the original back.#sassy says
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#i have a whole ass day of work tomorrow meaning probably more than 8 hours#i have to stop by the grocery store and pick up all the damn groceries for tomorrows short ribs#because i am sick and tired of Turkey and in true idiot fashion offered to cook in order to avoid Turkey#then i have to get home and get my Mise ready because theres no way in hell im gonna do it all Thursday#that is Thursday after the hour and a half long drive with all my shit#you'd think id be sleeping now that its almost 1 in the morning but nope#this hoe is just going back to back bad decisions lol
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I've had the motivation of a baked potato this week
#I'm just so *tired* like. physically. exhausted. my allergies are kicking my ass and I'm so fuckin tired#I haven't been able to do my bike at all and I feel like a piece of shit for it#and then I feel like a piece of shit for feeling like a piece of shit#cause I'm constantly trying to remind myself like it's ok it's ok to miss days here and there a week it's ok#as long as I get back to it. even 1 day a week is more than 0 which is where I was before I got the bike#I just hate this I hate that mentally I am like the biggest bitch in the world.... to *myself*#I'm trying so hard not to get a migraine and my body is just *so tired* and idk man I'm just 😞#erin explains it all
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#depression? out. anxious hypo mania? in.#we’re FEELING IT NOW MR KRABS#On the bright side I drew art tonight#on the downside#I feel like everyone hates me and that they all think I’m weird#which like 1) I am weird lmao but they don’t hate me for that 2) they don’t hate me at all#3) they’re fuckin weird too but I love them for it#but also my ass doesn’t know how to handle any of it and I’m freaking out over things that really shouldn’t be freaked out over#i’m so tired#I wish it would all just even out and I could have the good without the bad#or at least control it better#idk man I just work in here but I feel like a fucking failure and a shit communicator#ah well. they’ll either leave or they won’t. at least the election doesn’t feel real!
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daggerfall is so hard and for what
#i guess my gamer soul is just weak?#i cant swing a sword properly?#i cant fucking see shit?#first time i played I got my ass kicked by a rat? the first enemy?#ohhh god i hope its just a learning curve and not the whole game#i cannot believe this only came out two years before bg1#JUST ONE YEAR BEFORE FALLOUT? MY FAVORITE GAME?#ough fallout 1 is so good#i still cant get through 2 though :/#1 was better imo because it knew where to stop#like the main quest was short and simple enough while having depth and some good revelations#the side quests were mostly clear and concise and there wasnt too much of them#it was a good game and it knew how long it wanted to be and that was the perfect lenght absolutely imo#well sure it had some flaws. but i love it a lot so for now im blinded to them#the master was such a good antagonist and his actions made so much sense#fallout 2 is.... okay. its a game. its just different enough that im not fully into it#theres just so much shit to do and i dont want to leave things unfinished and i dont like to be underleveled#but the shit is just always so long and tiring and doesnt really know where to stop#quests i liked: most of the broken hills oned. SOME of the gecko stuff#navarro was kind of boring. a lot of places are just a slog to get through#and i guess i could just skip it but well. i really don't want to be underleveled! youre supposed to do SOME stuff#uh whatever. its an okay game#just a step down#back to daggerfall. the first person pov is really difficult for me to get through#and all the other oldish games i like are isometric viewed#character creation is rly difficult#which can be fun i think. i like to just roll a bunch of stats in bg1 sometimes#ive found a guide and i guess ill restart the game completely to have it easier#i really want to play some more but. idk#maybe i should stick to easier / newer games
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