#..... my 1 ass is tired of that shit.
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stefisdoingthings · 3 months ago
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ark aftermath
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creepyscritches · 1 year ago
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My grandma is 80 and almost never wants to go do things, but every year she gets excited to go shuffle around her little shops on Black Friday with me and my mom and eeeeevery year she heehaws at me buying my annual supply of handsoap from bath and body works during their buy 3 get 3 sale. I have so much soap, by god, if I run out again before next November I'm going to kill myself
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floral-hex · 8 months ago
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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blluespirit · 1 year ago
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one thing i really really really hope is that the netflix show doesn't fall down the rabbit hole of trying to make all the ships fit in and work. atla was SO GOOD but the one downfall to me was the ships. I felt like it really took away from the main story sometimes and the chemistry Wasn't Great.
I'm happy for them to explore different relationships, but I just hate when shows feel like they have to adjust for the most popular ship on the internet. It's almost always worse off for doing that.
i thought all the pairing off at the end of the show was very weak and honestly quite disappointing... and I just hope that netflix doesn't get bogged down in the pressure of pairing off characters.
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micamone · 4 months ago
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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chiistarri · 5 months ago
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 7 months ago
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who hates operación triunfo more edgelords who thing they're above a silly music contest or fans of operación triunfo
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thats-a-lot-of-cortisol · 11 months ago
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they're in love your honor
#i hadn't thought of Peri as the domestic type but you know what? after the past few years he's had he probably does settle down a bit#he gets tired of Doing Things yknow?#and baldur's gate's harpers probably werent the only ones targeted by the cult so he would have plenty of rebuilding to do in waterdeep#went from having the Trauma Zoomies to refusing to travel anywhere further than a tenday away in the span of three years#he probably starts wandering again after a bit though#sometimes convincing Gale to come with him sometimes not#he gets Gale to come with him to Eberron one (1) time#in my head (because i can do what i want) the whole 'wizards live a long-ass time sometimes' thing happens to both of them#(peri's. less pleased about this than gale is when they figure out what's going on)#so they've got plenty of time to get into trouble#also idk if the age extension thing is meant to always be a thing wizards do on-purpose but in my mind it's not always#sometimes the weave just Decides and there's not much you can do about it#(mystra is also upset that her ex and her ex-champion who's VERY loud about her being an asshole are sticking around somehow)#(she might be intrinsically tied to the weave but 1. it's a phenomena all on its own and 2. there are other deities of magic in faerun)#(she may be in charge so killing her messes shit up but it doesn't make sense that she's. like. the only conduit? if that makes sense?)#(so her being around makes the weave accessible to mortals but someone would eventually take her place if she died like she did with Mystral#(and the weave is intrinsic to faerun so it will always regenerate when lost. because how are you supposed to create a new god...#(...of arcane magic if the weave is completely destroyed?)#(i'm fully talking out of my ass btw)#(idk what the official wotc answer to this is and i dont care. weave is like a force of nature and cannot be fully controlled b/c I Said So)#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3 tav#peregrine faulkner#gale x tav#bg3 fanart#my art#wizbands
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mieczyhale · 11 months ago
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one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...
my son in christ you are 21
i literally want to fucking die
#dont get me wrong! good for him! i'm happy for him#but he really said he started the channel when he was younger (turns out that was 18) and it felt like time to move on#i am 31 and only got the job i love a year and a half ago#i have been dating and living with the same person for... 10 years in 11 days and all i've ever wanted is to get married#(and be a mom but i dont think im ever getting that one but im gonna go ahead and focus on that one zero percent or i'll cry)#i say. like all of this doesnt make me want to cry lmao#i am so incredibly blessed to have what i have. like truly i ended up with the perfect sort of life for my awkward mentally ill ass#but i cannot NOT spiral just a little when people younger than me have the things i want so so bad and then also talk as if their young age#is older than it is. i know you feel mature and older but you are still so fucking young. and okay honestly - now that im rambling - thats#just part of it huh?? i mean a lot of the spiral is actually Wow. I really lost so much of my life (so much time. so many opportunities) to#mental illness and other shit i couldn't control and there are people who didn't fucking have that. there are people who didn't have to#deal with any of that!!! honestly!!! and you just.. dont do anything to prepare for the future when you do not expect there to be one for#so long and then you can't stop fucking everything up and then oh look! you're in your 30s and-#god i cannot fucking do this#it is 1:35 in the morning and im tired but now i feel really stubborn about going to bed. i should. i want to. but also i dont.#actually going to bed is where The Horrors are so#this really was the dumbest fucking shit i think im gonna go to bed & play p.m on my phone and try to be a little less pathetic#maison speaks
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silverselfshippingchaos · 1 year ago
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oh hey it's been a few days since I made a personal post
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gentlethorns · 1 year ago
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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tinyspringtrap · 2 years ago
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bro if i don't stop getting matched with new players who have never played the fucking game before in their lives as someone with almost 4K hours in overwatch I am legit gonna snap
where the fuck is the beginners queue??
why the fuck is my team made up of people who don't know what the fuck they're doing on even the most basic level PLEASE
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thesadboisguidetolife · 2 years ago
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imwritesometimes · 2 years ago
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I've had the motivation of a baked potato this week
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canibalistic-brownie · 2 days ago
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get-more-bald · 4 days ago
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daggerfall is so hard and for what
#i guess my gamer soul is just weak?#i cant swing a sword properly?#i cant fucking see shit?#first time i played I got my ass kicked by a rat? the first enemy?#ohhh god i hope its just a learning curve and not the whole game#i cannot believe this only came out two years before bg1#JUST ONE YEAR BEFORE FALLOUT? MY FAVORITE GAME?#ough fallout 1 is so good#i still cant get through 2 though :/#1 was better imo because it knew where to stop#like the main quest was short and simple enough while having depth and some good revelations#the side quests were mostly clear and concise and there wasnt too much of them#it was a good game and it knew how long it wanted to be and that was the perfect lenght absolutely imo#well sure it had some flaws. but i love it a lot so for now im blinded to them#the master was such a good antagonist and his actions made so much sense#fallout 2 is.... okay. its a game. its just different enough that im not fully into it#theres just so much shit to do and i dont want to leave things unfinished and i dont like to be underleveled#but the shit is just always so long and tiring and doesnt really know where to stop#quests i liked: most of the broken hills oned. SOME of the gecko stuff#navarro was kind of boring. a lot of places are just a slog to get through#and i guess i could just skip it but well. i really don't want to be underleveled! youre supposed to do SOME stuff#uh whatever. its an okay game#just a step down#back to daggerfall. the first person pov is really difficult for me to get through#and all the other oldish games i like are isometric viewed#character creation is rly difficult#which can be fun i think. i like to just roll a bunch of stats in bg1 sometimes#ive found a guide and i guess ill restart the game completely to have it easier#i really want to play some more but. idk#maybe i should stick to easier / newer games
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