#... obviously people are free to do whatever they want and it's gross to be like

[maxwelljacobfriedman]

I was today years old when i found out cora jade used to be elayna black

[kisses4reid]

understand? pt. 1 | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

summary - you’re a polyglot translator assigned to work for the bau in a cross-national case, and there’s a doctor who wants to impress you.

genre - fem!reader, SHE/HER r, fluff, meet cute, you know more than spencer and he’s attracted to that

warnings - you're both awkward, mentions of gross case file photos, little research about polyglots actually done so there are inaccuracies, cliffhanger for part 2.

w/c - 1.4k

a/n - thank you for the req anon!! there was multiple parts to this but i really like the first idea so that’s what this fic is about, might keep the other idea for later hehe. i did change some aspects. love you, thank you for the support <33 there will be multiple parts!!! stay tuned!!!

req - hi pia 💞💝🩷💓 how r u? i hope you’re feeling wonderful! this is my first time requesting smthg i apologize if i get something wrong! i’ve been having 2 thoughts about spencer x fem!reader, where reader is a russian translator and idk they meet cute or she has to work with the bau helping them on a case. just wanted to give these ideas to you, obviously feel free to do anything with them! i really enjoy your work and your writing is incredible! i have your notifications on so i am always reading whatever you post! have a great day pia 💝 lots n lots of kisses for u!

This was not what you expected. 

You, a woman in your late twenties that spent most of her time in a room listening to voices and decoding foreign messages, didn’t know what you expected. But this: a scary boss, an italian old man, and a skinny college kid, was not it. 

“Y/n L/n? I’m Aaron Hotchner, the unit chief, and this is Agent Rossi and Doctor Agent Reid.” 

You nodded your head, thick hair covering your top eyelashes as you glanced at the men. Agent Rossi shook your hand, and Dr Reid simply stood and gawked at you. To be honest, it made you worried. You had been warned this was a close knit team, that they trusted each other more than anything and that you shouldn’t get attached to any of them as you’d only be assisting them for one case.

Maybe they just didn’t warm up to new people. 

“I’ll do your formal introduction to the rest of the team now, if you’re settled down.” He asks cooly. You like the way his voice rasps, it’s assertive yet comforting. 

“Yes, of course. I can’t wait.” You smiled reassuringly at the unit chief, not ignoring the raised eyebrow you received from the silent young man now behind you.

Aaron Hotchner, your new boss for the next week or so, lead you to a large room with a circular table sat in the middle. There were two other women, one blonde and one raven haired, and another bald man that glanced at you immediately after you entered. They smiled at you and trailed your steps to where you stood beside the unit chief in front of a large TV screen.

“Everyone, this is Agent Y/n L/n. She’ll be assisting us with the Becker case you’ve all been informed of. She’ll mainly be our translator and interpreter, but she’ll also be useful for cultural identifiers and anything that we wouldn’t notice otherwise.” 

You nodded along, never being a fan of introductions since you moved to America as a small child. 

“This is JJ, our liaison, Agent Emily Prentiss and Agent Derek Morgan.” 

The ladies smiled at you, in fact all of them did. They were surprisingly open to the fact you would be joining them, the fact made your shoulders loosen and a breath to be let out discreetly. 

Next, you were on a long plane flight to Maine with Agents you had known for little under two hours, conversing about victim profiles and motives. The table in front of the ladies and your boss was strewn with victim files and gruesome photos. And while you weren’t a stranger to the dangers and violence the job brought, you had gotten comfortable with only hearing about it and not seeing it. So you opted to hover around the table and stay silent, you weren’t a trained profiler after all, just a translator.  

There was a wave of cologne that disrupted your senses, causing you to angle your head back, only to be greeted by the tall doctor. 

You smiled softly, assuming the closeness was due to the aeroplane's arrangement. Also because you got the vibe that Spencer didn’t like you. 

“Are you okay? You seem uneasy,” he asked. It was the first time you heard his voice. And it was as adolescent as you imagined for someone so young, but it had a sophisticated edge to it, with a honey-like undertone. Finding things in voices as if they were perfumes was something you unconsciously started to do since working as a translator.

“I’m fine.” You grinned reassuringly, turning back to focus on the team’s findings. 

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows slightly and stepped away, sitting down beside Morgan who had taken a seat at the back. Morgan squinted at his friend, noticing the rare confusion splayed on his face as he stared in your direction. 

“What’s up? Pretty girl got your tongue?” Morgan removed his headphones with a cheeky smile displayed on his handsome face.

“For someone who specialises in languages she doesn’t talk much.” 

Morgan smirked, “Maybe not to you.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong though.” Spencer ripped his gaze off the back of your head.

“You’ve been staring at her since she walked through those doors. You were so distracted you didn’t even greet her this morning.” Morgan pointed out. Spencer tilted his head confused, a small blush creeping up his neck. “I watched the whole thing from the conference room, so did JJ and Emily.” 

The tall boy slumped in his chair and forced himself to look out of the plane’s window, avoiding a reply to Morgan as he knew it would only result in more teasing. You were physically attractive, everyone could see that, but the thing that caught Spencer’s attention was your intelligence. He was no stranger to being a polyglot, he learnt languages for fun, but you were simply next level. Morgan studied Spencer’s face for a second before raising his attention to your hovering state. “Agent Y/n L/n.” Morgan called, causing Spencer to widen his eyes and immediately adjust his slumped position in his plane seat. You turned your head in surprise, slightly confused why you would be needed anywhere else than the files you had been translating for the past two minutes. Your heels were silent against the carpeted floors, but Spencer could sense your presence anyways. 

“How many languages do you speak?” The stoic man asked, his eyes darting between you and the doctor below you. You were not short, your genes didn’t allow for it, but you had noticed you were only taller than JJ and Rossi in the team and it felt foreign to not tower over everyone. “Um, I speak 8 languages fluently, and 4 languages semi-fluently.” You stated, readying to turn back to assist the team before Morgan spoke up once again

“Did you know that pretty boy can speak Spanish and German?” 

Before Spencer could help himself, he corrected the man, “And Latin and Russian,” Spencer turned his head up to you, “But I can understand more.” 

You smiled, genuinely impressed and confused on how a man that young could learn that much. But to be fair, you were in the same boat. The nickname got your attention, locking it in the back of your mind to remind yourself that the people you were working with did in fact have senses of humour, and weren’t just heartless officers. There wasn’t any reason to think that though, as you had been cared for with respect and even Prentiss made a funny remark beforehand. It sort of felt like a family dinner you were intruding on. “That’s impressive, Doctor Reid.” You reply genuinely. 

“I mean it’s nothing compared to you though,” his voice was pitched slightly higher and his hands started motioning to nothing in particular, “your brain is constantly changing from high activity to low activity when you're translating from one language to another. Your language network, the lateral frontal lobe, is constantly lighting up and dimming down depending on what language you hear, ordinary people’s language networks only turn on and off.” 

Morgan smirked and glanced up at your intrigued and surprised expression. You nodded, a small blush coating the tips of your ears as you responded, “Thank you.” You didn’t really know what else to say, which is funny for someone who understands so many languages, so you simply smiled and turned back to the table. Spencer slumped again, watching you walk away and asking himself why he would inform a pretty girl about her own brain, when she most definitely already knows about it. 

“Don’t worry too much, Reid.” Morgan called, grabbing Spencer’s attention. The boy raised a brow, not understanding. “She digs it, I can tell. But she’s just like you, knows how to speak in a million ways and still doesn’t know how to small talk.” 

You landed without any more awkward interactions, and got introduced to some sheriffs in Maine, one of them giving you a tighter handshake than the rest and a stare that could only mean unpleasant things. It wasn't something sexist or creepy that lingered in his eyes, it was more like hatred. Spencer took the sheriff's attention away from you after noticing what the whole team did, and asked him to show him the records they kept at the precinct.

Emily Prentiss came up behind you and placed a hand on your upper arm, squeezing it like she understood what you had thought you'd seen. Out of everyone else in the team, she would understand the most.

taglist (open!!): @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m @aurorsworld

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Five

He’s more upset than angry really, which just makes him feel pathetic. Irritated but...upset that he’s even upset about it in the first place. He tells himself on repeat that he shouldn’t give a shit what Steve and his dumb friend thinks of him. The fact that he actually does just banks the annoyance.

He can’t help but think about Steve’s Eddie’s on a stage analogy, he kind of gets it, he guesses. There’s an opportunity to examine how he’s feeling and be aware of it, rather than let it swallow him.

Fuck that; and fuck Steve’s shitty advice.

Eddie stomps straight through the house and out the back; it’s another nice day. It’s just even more irritating, Eddie’s rut an almost now familiar itch under his skin. How can you be in rut for so long you get used to it? Is that even a thing?

Eddie figures it must be, but his perpetually half mast cock is becoming almost painfully irritated, and only so many wipes with a flannel keep the precome drip under control. He’s just...he feels gross, no matter how many times Steve dunks him in the bath.

It makes Eddie feel like he wants to peel his skin off. Or maybe just scrape it off with sand paper.

Something.

The yoga mats are still sitting, rolled up, on the edge of the deck, and in a fit of pique, before he even realizes what he’s doing, Eddie picks one up and throws it. It’s really light, and that combined with the shape, means it travels less than ten feet before flopping uselessly, and unsatisfying, onto the grass.

Eddie throws himself into a chair; now even more angry with himself. Throwing things like a child; he’d kind of hoped he was past all that shit.

Apparently not.

Eddie sits. And he stares. And the gentle breeze that should be a soothing relief in the warmth just prickles and irritates his hyper aware skin.

Eddie sighs, his head in his hands, feeling washed out now, and kind of stupid, and not a little bit like he might cry which is just. More stupid.

His guitar is next to him, right where he left it, and he picks it up almost reflexively. Eddie had a pretty shitty time as a kid, before Wayne. The one good thing he had with his Mom was the music.

She fucking loved Dolly Parton, and Eddie finds himself idling through the notes of ‘Islands in the Stream,’ almost on autopilot. It was the one refuge. The one good thing his mother ever gave him, was this. Every single good memory he has with his mom involve music in some way.

She was alright on guitar, and she taught that allrightness to Eddie before she died. He’d far surpassed her abilities by the time he was about fourteen, and it was something Wayne religiously encouraged.

Unfortunately, Eddie also suspects his mother gifted him her highly addictive personality.

His fingers trickle their way into ‘Nine to Five,’ and Eddie lets it happen.

He starts to feel better by the time he hits ‘Jolene.’

“Didn’t realize you were a Dolly fan,” Steve says quietly, as he slips into the seat next to him.

“She has writing credits on over three thousand songs. Everyone is a Dolly fan, just a lot of people don’t know it,” Eddie tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Steve’s just a dick who will be out of his house soon, whatever him and that Robin person think, it doesn’t matter to Eddie.

“Huh...I didn’t know that.”

“She’s a genius,” Eddie keeps staring out over the lawn, but not seeing it, not really, “you know she has this program, to get kids books?”

“No?”

“Yeah, free books for any kid under five, you just got to sign up, I think.”

“That’s...wow,” Steve pulls his phone out, quietly reading while Eddie absently hits ‘Love is like a Butterfly.’ “This is incredible, I had no idea.”

“Met her once. Well, kinda’. Passed each other at some awards dinner thing you know. Wicked sense of humor.”

Steve makes a vague snorting sound, “I keep forgetting that you’re famous.”

Eddie actually misses a note, finally turning in the chair to look at Steve, “really?”

“Yeah, I mean, can’t forget you’re like, fucking loaded, obviously,” Steve gestures at the house behind them, “but...yeah. You’re just...some guy.”

“That what you were laughing about with your friend?” Eddie turns back to the lawn, finds himself moving onto some Johnny Cash, “that I’m just some guy.”

“What, me and Robs? No, of course not...she’s my best friend.”

“Uh hu.”

“Eddie, I would never. What happens with clients is private. Always.”

Eddie wants to believe him, he does, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, huh?”

Steve snorts a laugh, and even without looking Eddie knows the exact look he has on his face, “something like that. We’ve been...good friends for a really long time, we’ve got a lot of dumb jokes, you know?”

“You don’t have to explain it,” Eddie suddenly feels a bit small and...shitty. It’s as bad as the anger. It’s making him unsteady all the...feeling. It was the great leveler, the drugs. No shitty emotions when you’re not really feeling any at all.

“Wasn’t going to,” Steve answers evenly, “it’s far, far too embarrassing.”

“Oh my god well now you gotta’!” Eddie slaps his guitar for good measure, sliding easily back into the tune.

Steve snorts a laugh, and then sighs, “it involves a drunken dare to do the splits and a dislocated patella. And that is all I will say about it.”

Eddie looks back at him for a second, and then back out across the grass again, he’s on ‘Stairway to Heaven’ now, an instinctive home ground that he played so often his hands know what they’re doing without any real input from Eddie. “Can’t imagine you drunk.”

“I don’t really, any more.”

“What, looking at us losers for a living put you off?”

“I mean, I stopped a long time ago anyway really, the hangovers just weren't worth it.”

“That’s your mistake, if you just keep drinking, the hangover can’t land.”

Steve huffs another laugh, “I’ll keep it in mind.”

By mid afternoon Eddie can’t sit with it any more. He paces, shirtless, praying for the crawling sensation to just fuck off. He doesn’t know where it’s come from, but he’s sure it’s not just in his head this time, the physical sensation of something unpleasant and fucking annoying shifting around against his skin.

“When will you have those results?” He shouts through the house, picking at the band aid on the bend of his elbow. He peels the bloody patch away and considers sticking it to the wall before he remembers why the cleaner quit and diverts to put it in the trash instead.

“Tomorrow lunch time ish, they should email me.”

Steve’s tapping his pen again, doing the stupid crossword.

Eddie’s scratching his forearms until they’re red.

“Come on then Steve, you’ve got an answer for everything, what can we do about this itchy shit.”

“Well you could-”

“Don’t say bath. Jesus. It’s your answer to everything. Or yoga.”

Steve clicks his pen closed, finally looking up at Eddie, “would you like a back rub?”

“Would I- Steve come on.”

“You’re in rut. You haven’t scented me, you haven’t nested, other than me washing your hair you’ve had no human contact.”

“No. Fuck off,” Eddie starts pacing again, “can’t you do better than that?”

“You presented me with a problem, and I suggested a potential solution. Your lack of engagement is your choice.” Steve has this fucking bitchy way of sounding professionally bored and it instantly makes Eddie want to gut Steve with a fucking spoon.

“You’re such a cunt.”

Steve just hums agreeably.

“All right, fine. We will try the stupid back rub, and when that doesn’t work, you’re going to come up with something else dumb for us to try?”

“I’m sure they’re all dumb ideas until one of them works.”

“God you’re insufferable. I’ll be in the bedroom.”

The bedding doesn’t irritate Eddie the way he thought it would, at least. Everything looks like it should be itchy at the moment, but it turns out not to be true as soon as he’s splayed out, face down, in the middle of his bed.

His cock’s sort of half hard and half caught, and he has to shove a hand down there to get the thing pointing north and lying flat, but then he’s pretty comfortable.

The bed dips when Steve climbs on, and it only irritates Eddie mildly. Hackles up, but just for a second, and then the fact that it’s Steve seems to sink in and he’s okay again.

“It’s going to be a little cold,” Steve tells him, almost the instant whatever it is hits Eddie’s back.

Eddie hisses at the feeling, “asshole.”

“Uh hu,” Steve agrees.

He starts just by rubbing it in, all over Eddie’s back, greasy and slick feeling. It doesn’t smell like anything as far as Eddie can tell. It doesn’t seem to be doing anything so far either, but it is a distraction, having Steve’s hands on him. They’re bigger than Eddie thought they’d be, and heavier feeling.

Warm, and that feels kind of nice despite the itchy heat of Eddie’s half formed rut.

This is worse than a fucking come down, Eddie thinks to himself. But then he quickly retracts that thought because, no, it obviously isn’t. Drying out at the center was one of the most harrowing experiences of Eddie’s life. Sure, this is shitty, but it doesn’t compare to that.

“Okay?”

It is. It’s more than; it’s definitely taking away from the itchy, my skin doesn’t fit right feeling that’s been plaguing Eddie for hours. Even if it isn’t from the back rub or the feeling of the greasy stuff Steve’s covered him in; maybe it’s purely that Eddie’s being distracted away from it.

Whatever it is, he feels a little better with Steve’s stupid bear paws rubbing circles on his back. It’s nothing like the fingertip treatment he gets when Steve washes his hair. It feels like Steve really, actually, knows what he's doing.

“Sure. I guess.” Eddie finally mumbles.

“Okay, I’m going to move closer now.”

Eddie just hums, and the bed dips again as Steve’s knees edge closer. One of Steve’s knees traps the edge of Eddie’s sweat pants, pulling and pinning Eddie’s leg to the bed with it. Steve leans over, getting more of his weight behind the pressure he’s applying, looming over Eddie.

Very suddenly, Eddie feels trapped. His hackles are up and a snarl rips out of him.

Steve hits the mattress with a thump.

Eddie realizes pretty fast what he’s done, but he can’t seem to let go, fingers digging hard into Steve’s shoulders. He’s on his knees, hovering over Steve. Steve, who has his head tilted back throat bared. His eyes are closed, arms spread wide on the bedding, hands loose and relaxed. He’s not tense, not even a little, just pliant and completely submissive.

He has moles on the exposed side of his neck, like a little target. Eddie leans in, gives in, rubbing his chin and cheek against Steve’s neck. His stubble drags. Eddie shivers as the goosebumps race over his body like a wave.

Steve just takes it, lying perfectly still.

Steve’s scent is faint, Beta faint, but it’s definitely there now that Eddie’s at point blank range.

He smells like sun warmed skin. A hint of fresh cut grass. Something else organic and natural smelling. Bark or dirt or some shit Eddie can't place. Passive though, natural, subtle Beta smells. Nice though. Not overwhelming. Eddie sinks a little lower, rubbing his own throat against Steve’s. He feels instantly better, his relentlessly irritated scent gland suddenly soothed with Steve’s scent.

Eddie breathes a deep sigh of relief before finally letting go and collapsing down onto Steve.

“Better?” Steve asks quietly.

“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie slurs into Steve’s neck.

Part Seven

[o0sleepingdead0o]

Prepared for Anything

Part 2, MasterPost

Danny stared at the ceiling, bored, as the creepy clown laughed manically at a camera. Danny hadn’t been in this dimension for two minutes, (he’d portalled directly into Joker’s hideout) before he was promptly tied to a chair. He could get out of it easily.

Thing was, there were others here, restrained more thoroughly than Danny. They wore colourful, armoured suits and were obviously the vigilantes/heroes of this. . .place—Gotham? Danny’d heard the name mentioned a few times now—This Freakshow wannabe was obviously one of their villains. 

Danny had been hoping someone would show up without having to draw attention to himself. What was this dimension’s stance on halfas? Or ghosts?

But no one had come yet, it had been an hour, and he was getting stiff from sitting here so long without being able to move his limbs.

Danny heaved a loud, exasperated sigh-groan at the ceiling. The guy, face-painted like a toddler who’d gotten into their parent’s make-up, suddenly stopped monologuing. 

Good. It was getting annoying.

“Are you done yet?” Danny complained much like the impatient teenager he was. “I’ve got crap to do, wrap it up, would you?”

Danny came here to explore. He was not exploring. He should be exploring and it was all this dude’s fault.

Danny supposed he could go all ghost on him and bounce, but he came all this way. It wasn’t much of hassle, but still. Danny was stubborn. He knew this.

The warehouse was silent. The creepo wasn’t talking, anymore, he wasn’t doing anything, and Danny deigned to lift his head from where it’d been thrown back on the chair.

The costumed people were looking at him in horror.

Danny wasn’t sure why.

The walking fashion disaster began to cackle with condescending amusement.

Yeah, okay, whatever.

Danny ignored the man’s delve into something about Danny’s impending doom, or threatening him with pain, and something, something, something. Something about broken this, burning that, yada, yada yada, when Danny got an idea.

Behind the chair where his hands were bound, knowing no one was behind him, he quietly broke the ropes on his wrists. The vigilantes—a red one with bandoliers crossing over his chest and one who wore a largely grey and black suit with an R emblem on the left side of his chest—were valiantly trying to dissuade the psycho to leave Danny alone, who now realized the said psycho was coming towards him, carrying a crowbar.

How original.

The Joker, as Danny heard someone call him at some point, he’s not sure when, leaned in close. His breath stank. 

Danny made a disgusted face. “Do you not brush your teeth at all? Gross, dude.”

“You won’t be mak—“

Danny punched him in the jaw. The guy went down pretty easily. 

Danny made an annoyed noise as he bent down to untie his ankles from the chair legs. He muttered to himself. “Stupid villains, always gotta get in the way, why can’t I just have one nice vacation, huh?”

“How did you do that?” 

Danny looked up at the red one. “Do what?” He asked, standing and stretching with satisfying pops.

“Get free.”

“Oh. . .” Danny reached into his hoodie sleeve and pulled out a small hand saw. He guessed he coulda used a knife, but it was the first thing he'd thought of.

The guy spluttered. “You just keep a saw in your sleeve?”

“Yep.” Danny popped the P. No need for them to know he can make portals. As tiny as needed. “You guys want help out of those, or what?” Danny gestured to the chains keeping the two bound on the floor.

“No, Joker’s goons outside probably has the keys, we have back-up. . . .coming. . . .where did you get that?”

Danny didn’t miss a beat as he crouched to get a grip on the chain with the large pair of bolt cutters. “Ah, ya know, never leave home without a good pair of bolt cutters.” He offered. The room they were in was pretty bare, saying he found it “lying around” wouldn’t work. It’d be pretty obvious.

“That is absurd.” The younger one said. “Where did they come from?”

Danny snapped the red one free and moved onto the angry eyebrows one. How did they still emote so well through those masks? “Just had it on hand.”

“But wh—“

“Oh look! There ya go! I gotta go, nice being held hostage with y'all.” Danny ignored their calls for him, climbing out of the nearest window and disappearing.

[pazzi5351]

Snowmen and Promposals

Based on This prompt!!

Enjoy 😉

————————————————————————————

The month between their shared practices was over, but nothing between them changed.

Azzi still danced at halftime.

Paige still played like a walking highlight reel whenever Azzi was in the gym.

They still supported each other in every way.

But when prom season rolled around, Azzi started getting nervous.

Paige was starting to be more distant— disappearing when she’d told Azzi she’d wait for her after class, taking unusually long to respond to texts, and dodging every time Azzi asked to hangout.

By lunch, Azzi’s mood was totally down. She plopped down sitting next to Caroline and Ines at their usual table, and was visibly sulking.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” Caroline, concerned, asked.

“Seriously Az,” Ines added. “Do I have to beat up the blonde? I will if you tell me to.”

Azzi laughed softly. “Don’t beat her up. I’m just confused by her. I mean we were fine. Great honestly, but then people started talking about prom and she just started being weird. I don’t know, maybe I’m just freaked out because she’s a senior this year.”

Caroline sighed, feeling bad for how her best friend is feeling. “That fucking sucks. I’m sorry Az. I dunno, maybe just try to talk to her. Like catch her off guard and talk to her”

Azzi shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I could try that approach. Thanks Care.”

On the other side of the cafeteria sat Nika, Kk and Ice who were all listening (for the most part) to Paige explaining her elaborate promposal idea.

“Ok first, I obviously have to make a bouquet because ordering one is so lame. Then I have to get her fave sweet treat, which, by the way, is cookie dough ice cream. Then I have to make it Frozen related because that’s her favorite movie. But should I do it at school or at her house? I mean I talked to Mrs. Fudd this morning and she said that I could do it in their backyard if I want but I also want her friends there and I don’t want it to be sus or anything and-“

“Paige. Oh. My. Gosh. You’ve been ranting about this promposal for three days. That’s 72 fucking hours straight. If you want my advice, do it at her house. Text Caroline, Amari, and Ines and tell them to invite themselves over whatever day you decide to do it.” Nika said, cutting off Paige from her yapping.

“Yeah P. You’re totally stressing me out over this crap and I’m a sophomore.” Ice added.

“Oh, my bad y’all. I’m just super excited. And Azzi is perfect and deserves the world and I want to do something perfect for her.”

Kk fake gagged at Paige. “You’re so gross and in love. It’s making me sick.”

Paige elbowed her and laughed. “You’re just jealous I have more rizz than you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Wednesday, meaning two whole days had passed since Paige and Azzi talked last.

And to say Azzi was stressed was an understatement.

After an unnecessarily long rehearsal, she came home extremely drained. More than ready to take a long shower and go to sleep.

That is until the doorbell rang.

Azzi groaned as she walked over to the door, but was even more confused and kind of annoyed to see Caroline, Amari, and Ines standing there.

She’d thought she made it clear to them after rehearsal that she was gonna go home and crash, so she couldn’t comprehend why they were at her door.

“What are y’all doing here? I’d thought we’d all just want to go home tonight. Y’know. Just relax?” Azzi said, hand still on the door like she may close it at any moment.

“Yeah well, we’re here now so!” Caroline responded as she pushed past Azzi into the house.

The other girls followed and they all sat on the couch silently.

“Mari, I’m kinda warm. Is it warm in here to you?” Ines asked.

Amari nodded. “Yeah I am pretty warm. Azzi let’s all go out back! Get some fresh air!”

“What the hell are you guys talking about? It’s not warm in here. No, I'm not going outside. But if you guys go out, please feel free to go to the car and go home.” Azzi responded. She knew she was being mean to her friends but she didn’t care. She was upset about rehearsal but more so upset about Paige.

Caroline stood up, pulling Azzi off the couch. “No. We’re going outside whether you want to or not.”

Azzi mumbled something about everyone just being so annoying recently until she got outside.

Her backyard was lit up with fairy lights and strung on snowflakes, the ground was filled with white rose petals, “Do you wanna build a snowman” was softly playing, and in the middle of it all, was Paige, in a too big Olaf onesie, a huge bouquet of flowers, and a big nervous grin on her face.

Azzi walked down the flower path to where Paige stood, forgetting her friends where standing there and barely acknowledging her parents presence.

“What the hell Paige.” Azzi said, looking at everything around her. Taking everything in.

“I know you think I’ve been ignoring you all week, but I swear this was my reason. I wanted to ask you to prom and I wanted it to be perfect because you’re perfect.” Paige explained as she handed Azzi her flowers. “You’re my person Az, and I’d never want you to feel any different.”

Azzi gasped with tears brimming her eyes. “Paige, seriously.”

Paige laughed softly. “Seriously, which is why,” Paige turned around now holding a decked out sign that read, “It doesn’t have to be a snowman… but I’d never ‘Let it Go’ if you went to prom with me!”

Azzi shook her head in disbelief, but her smile was wide, stunned, and the kind of soft Paige wanted to bottle

“You’re so annoying. You had me so worried I did something stupid.”

Paige grabbed the side of her face gently. “You could never be stupid. I mean unless you say no right now. That’d be stupid.”

“You’re so dumb.” Azzi said through a laugh, stepping forward.

“So, is that a yes?” Paige asked, slightly breathless.

Azzi reached for the front of the onesie, fisted it in her hands, and pulled her into a kiss.

Caroline erupted into a silent scream, Amari gasped and covered her mouth, and Ines captured the full promposal on video.

Katie clapped once, grinning. “Promposal of the year. Sorry, everyone else.”

Tim nodded. “And the commitment to Olaf. That’s love.”

Azzi pulled back just slightly, forehead against Paige’s, grinning so wide it hurt. Her voice was soft and a little breathless.

“I can’t believe you wore an Olaf onesie for me.”

Paige smirked. “I’d wear a whole castle for you.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“But I’m your dork now, right?”

Azzi kissed her again. “Obviously.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night of prom arrived in the blink of an eye. The sun was just starting to dip, casting that warm glow through Azzi’s bedroom window. She stood in front of her full-length mirror in a navy blue satin dress that hugged her curves in all the right ways, neckline delicate, back open, her hair curled just enough to look like she hadn’t tried too hard—even though Caroline and Amari had absolutely spent forty minutes on it.

Caroline stood behind her, applying highlighter to Azzi’s cheekbones with surgical precision. “You’re giving hot siren prom queen. Kind of like if Bonnie from the Vampire Diaries was a dance team siren mermaid and she went to prom.”

Azzi laughed then smirked at their reflection. “Good. She won’t survive it.”

Down the hall, Paige was finishing getting ready in the guest bathroom—Azzi’s parents had insisted she get dressed at their house so they could all leave together. Paige adjusted the collar of her crisp black suit, a navy blue pocket square, the same color as Azzi’s dress tucked into her pocket. Her sneakers were spotless, and the silver chain she always wore glinted beneath the open collar of her white shirt.

Katie knocked once, peeked in, then placed a soft hand to her heart. “You clean up nice, Olaf.”

Paige laughed, cheeks tinged pink. “Think she’ll like it?”

“She’s going to melt.”

In the backyard, the girls posed under strings of fairy lights and flower petals that were still scattered on the grass. Paige couldn’t take her eyes off Azzi. She literally forgot how to stand in one picture because Azzi turned and smiled at her.

Ines snapped it anyway. “It’s giving hopelessly in love,” she whispered behind her phone. “They’re so gross.”

They took goofy shots with their friend group—piggyback rides, dramatic Titanic poses, group hugs—but the solo pictures were where the magic happened. Paige gently rested her hand on Azzi’s waist, and Azzi looked up at her like no one else existed. At one point, Paige dipped her just to make her laugh, and Caroline screamed, “WE GET IT. YOU’RE IN LOVE.”

At prom, the vibes between the two were the same. Azzi had already gotten Paige to try three new dance moves, half of which were just ways to get her closer. Paige was doing her best—some moves were smoother than others—but she was grinning the whole time, clutching Azzi’s hand whenever the beat shifted.

During a brief break in the music, Paige leaned close. “You know you’re just doing this to see me embarrass myself, right?”

Azzi twirled a loose curl around her finger. “No, I’m doing this to make you fall even harder.”

“Unfair,” Paige murmured, eyes locked on hers. “I was already done for the second you wore that dress.”

The lights dimmed just a little more. The DJ’s voice faded into the opening notes of a slow, swaying love song. Something timeless, floaty.

Without a word, Azzi reached for Paige’s hand and guided it to her waist.

They started to sway.

Paige’s hand tightened ever so slightly, her other hand slipping into Azzi’s. They were chest to chest now, foreheads nearly touching, music pulsing gently around them. The world blurred into gold and navy and the soft murmur of a hundred other conversations—but none of it touched them.

“You nervous?” Azzi asked softly.

Paige swallowed. “Terrified.”

Azzi smiled, slow and sure. “Me too.”

They stood like that for another second, soaking in the tension, the heat, the thrum between them. Then Paige dipped her head just enough—

And kissed her.

It wasn’t loud or flashy. Just deep. Intentional. A pause in the universe. A quiet spark that lingered long after the song faded.

Azzi exhaled against her lips.

“I should’ve said yes to prom like… five Olaf onesies ago.”

Paige grinned. “I’ve got more where that came from.”

————————————————————————————

AN: did I just single-handedly make my expectations for my promposal 1000 times higher? Yes, yes I did. Hope I make the anon who requested happy!!!

[idkhow-ks]

Raw 6/23/25 — post show thoughts

Warning for anyone who needs it: this gets political and touches on what is currently happening in the Middle East. I've kept it to the end so if you still want to read my funny wrestling thoughts and avoid the serious stuff just stop at the Cody vs Jey section.

Seth Rollins opens the show, Breakker vs Penta

I don’t know how much it came across on tv but in the arena Rollins was getting a lot of boos and there wasn’t a lot of singing his song happening which I’m happy to see as he is trying to be a big bad heel.

Has Bronson Reed said anything since returning and joining Seth? I see no logic in him taking on this role.

Penta and Breakker put together a really good match with some unexpected spots. Both guys are super over too.

In fact, along with the CM Punk chants there was a lot of…. Woofing I guess? People love Bron.

The midair spear looked super awesome in person.

Goldberg video

Not much to say here. I don't think the title should be on the line for this match but WWE's current reliance on titles for matches is a topic for another day.

Queen of the Ring Semifinal – Cargill vs Perez

I'm not a fan of Jade. I think she relies solely on being 'stronger' than everyone else and that doesn't make for great matches.

Perez is gold. She sells so well, her in-ring psychology is always top notch, and she can pull off some impressive moves for her small stature.

I should probably add another warning here because I'm going to talk about shitty men for a second.

If you are a man and you are going to a live pro wrestling event please know that there are women there that can hear you when you talk about how nice the asses are of all the female wrestlers. I'm not saying that you can't appreciate their bodies. You can, they're stunning, I agree with you on that. But when that's the only commentary you have during women's matches when you're super invested in the wrestling of the men's matches it feels gross.

And if your response to reading that is to say it's not all men and I probably just sat behind some dickheads. I have been to a lot of wrestling shows. I've heard stuff like this at every single one. I just want those guys to know that people can hear them and I at least am judging them accordingly and do not feel safe with them in attendance.

Gunther promo

On a lighter note: I love Gunther!

That promo slapped. No notes.

My personal Main Event – Bayley vs Lynch

Glad that Becky was getting appropriately boo'd.

This definitely took a bit to get going but they were really putting something awesome together.

The buried-under-chairs spot was cool.

Lyra coming in to dig Bayley out was the right spot for her to interfere.

I liked that Lyra didn't bite on Becky's taunting on the ring apron and that Bayley got there before Becky could force a DQ.

But then of course they had Lyra take that baseball slide and even though Bayley and Becky were putting on a clinic after that point they had Lyra kill it all because she just couldn't possibly take a baseball slide from Lynch and let it go. Oh no no no. She had to get back at Lynch right there in the middle of a stellar match.

I don't know if this lived up to all my self-imposed hype but it was definitely building in that direction! Until the ending!

But at least the forthcoming triple threat at Evolution will be a banger ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Rodriguez calls out Ripley

This definitely felt like filler.

Gross men warning again.

Rhea continues to be the most over person in the company.

It doesn't feel like such a good thing when you see all the men standing up during this whole segment and filming closeups of her.

Rhea has agency and she obviously feels great about her image and is doing this all of her own free will and I would never say that she should change that. She can do whatever she wants. I agree that she's hot as hell and I like looking at her. But men don't know how to behave in respectful ways a lot of the time and it's not fun being a femme presenting person at shows and watching this all happen. You can enjoy her without making it so fucking obvious that you just want to fuck her and don't care about anything else.

King of the Ring Semifinal – Rhodes vs Uso

Here is where this recap/review is going to take a turn.

The build to Night of Champions I think is my breaking point for WWE at this moment.

I don't know how to best put this into words so this might come off as just word vomit but I'm happy to clarify or discuss specific statements if anyone wants or needs that.

WWE getting into partnership with Saudi Arabia was bad enough, WWE making up whole new 'Titles' to wrestle for and then display in Saudi Arabia was bad enough. WWE taking a ring canvas sponsorship from Saudi Arabia was bad enough.

All of those things made me incredible uncomfortable and sad. The House of Saud is a criminal organization that has buckets of blood on their hands. And WWE is playing into their continued Sports Washing.

But going to Raw tonight and seeing them advertise the Cena vs Punk match and then the Rhodes vs Orton match and then seeing the already edited graphic for Asuka vs Cargill where Jade is fully covered. It just broke me y'all.

Knowing that Iran has already bombed US bases in Qatar and that the biggest US presence in the Middle East is in Saudi Arabia was just the icing on top of the already shit-filled situation.

This next bit is probably going to come across as 'missing the point man' but it is how I'm feeling in this moment.

Sports (and live events in general) are incredibly powerful. They can be a massive force for good but under capitalism they are most often a massive force for bad.

And the specific reason this broke me over all the other Saudi shows is because Orton vs Rhodes and Cena vs Punk are generational matches. They are culminations of decades long stories and they should be played out as such.

These are Mania matches. These are SummerSlam matches. These are Chicago and Boston matches. These are fan dream matches.

But instead of taking these once in a lifetime stories and putting them on a show where the most diverse and wide audience has a chance to witness them, WWE took– what I can only assume is a metric shit ton of– money from criminals and tyrants to stage these matches in a dangerous location where the average WWE fan can not attend.

It feels so disrespectful and dismissive of the fans. It feels so grubby and dirty. It feels like such a waste.

I have a whole other part of this rant about Punk specifically but that's probably best left for another day.

To round this all out I'll say this, I won't be watching Smackdown on Friday or Night of Champions on Saturday or Raw on Monday. I can't in good conscience support in even the most tacit of ways the partnership between WWE and Saudi Arabia. I regret going to Raw tonight which is something I never thought I would say.

I'm still a wrestling fan and I will still be here talking about wrestling and making my silly Chris Sabin cosplay and my satanic G.O.A.T sacrifice fan art but not for this week, not for these shows.

If anyone reads this far, thank you. I take sports and the intersection of sports, culture, and politics very seriously. I did my thesis on this topic. So if you have any questions or want to have a good faith conversation about this I'm here and willing.

[woollyrhinocrafts]

Let's Talk About Gearbox

I mean Gearbox Software, the development company behind the Borderlands video games, which have been some of my favorites for their unhinged tomfoolery and general ridiculousness, but then also profoundly deep moments for stark contrast, of course. 

You may be familiar with my crochet Claptrap pattern. See it. It's extremely detailed. Not for the faint of heart. It is so much assembly. So many parts. Takes so long.

The pattern has been around for a while (since 2012, I think). I've made a lot of improvements over the years and recently added videos to help with the buckwild assembly. It was even featured on some official Borderlands social media back in the day. Back in the day when Gearbox was cool with fans making stuff.

What do you mean, Michelle? You might be wondering.

Well, well, well. I got a nice lil cease and desist notice from Gearbox the other day and the pattern was removed from Etsy and Ravelry. Shit happens. And they have the "legal" right to do this. It is, in fact, their IP and whatever. 

The amount of money I've made from selling the pattern for over a decade is a drop of water in the ocean of a million dollar company, so I think cease and desists from million dollar companies to individuals like myself is really fucking stupid, but it normally doesn't bother me. It does not impact my feelings toward a company at all. I normally give it a lol, make the patterns free so no one makes money, and add whatever company to the list of million dollar companies that I have butthurt with my patterns. Again, getting a lil CnD normally doesn't bother me AT ALL, but getting one from Gearbox does, obviously, or I wouldn't be bitching about it.

Let me rant for a moment: I've only ever actually made three of these. I do not make them custom because they take like 50 hours to make. It is not as if I am mass producing Claptrap plushies in a Chinese sweatshop for pennies on the dollar and marking them up for a 300% profit. I am in no way genuinely interfering with their own official merchandise. 

My first problem is thus: it represents a change that I did not want to see in their mentality toward their fans. 

What's more...I looked into the report, which was filed by someone with the super made-up sounding title "Customer Protection Specialist." What customers are they protecting? I am a customer. I have been a loyal customer. I have purchased official Borderlands merch. I have essentially done free promotion for their games. But I daresay, they do not offer a crocheted Claptrap nor a crochet pattern for one, so I was filling a void and making a negligible profit compared to the profits they make. 

It has been proven time and time again that people who buy fanart and fan-made stuff STILL BUY OFFICIAL STUFF. I am not TAKING AWAY their money. I am not claiming I conceived of the character. I praised the games in the pattern and the listing.

But I digress and here is the real issue: the "Customer Protection Specialist" actually seemed to be contracted from an AI company that Gearbox has outsourced to. I will not name the AI company nor link to it because I do not want to help their SEO in any way. The AI company's sole purpose is to find "infringement" so companies can "protect" their IP. This is cool if someone has perhaps stolen, you know, your logo or your slogan or something, but to use it for fanworks...to go after fanart...to go after someone who is a supporter of your IP...

Gross.

Just fucking gross. 

Another way AI is killing art.

And guess what, my wallet is now non-buynary. They've lost a customer they were trying to "protect." Borderlands 4 can fuck right off, and if you give a shit about fanart, well...I'm not going to tell you what to do, but hopefully you get the idea.

[shrimptiger]

Alright, normally I don't talk about drama but at this point, I'm pretty tired of it, so I'll just get this off my mind, because it's not like I'll change anything, but YALL ARE BEING SO FUCKING WEIRD WITH THIS LANDO AND MAGUI BULLSHIT.

I've never looked into it, but I'm just trying to scroll on tiktok or instagram and every few weeks I just get like 10 posts like "oh, Lando is in *place*, guess who else is there?", or I'll get a random clip of Lando in public that seems perfectly normal, oppen the comments, and everyone is saying that he's carrying her phone or something.

I can not understand why people care so much, it's not confirmed weather they are dating or not, it's literally just fans making speculations that have gone so far there are literal people who think they are in a public relationship because of so many people posting them and saying that they are 100% dating. If you want to speculate, do whatever you want, I can't stop you, but please just stop spreading misinformation.

I don't know what they are doing, and I don't care, I'm just minding my own business and you should too, whatever they're doing just let them live their lives and be happy for them or fucking explode with jealousy or whatever the fuck quietly, because I'm sick of my recommended/home/for you pages just being flodded with this bullshit.

If you want to know what I think about them, tho: from what I've seen it seems like he doesn't even interact with her but she just keeps trying to chase after him, I saw on tiktok a few months ago that she posted a picture of her infront of his apparent building or something and dating or not, I think that's freakish behaviour, and I really think she should delete that if she hasn't already, atleast for his privacy if not her decency because that is making her look like a hella obsessed fangirl. Obviously, I didn't randomly start thinking and ranting about this, so I'll tell you that what made me do this if a reel that popped up in my instagram feed from a f1 gossip accont of them being spotted togeder at a new years party in Dubai. That clip is gross to me, because you can see him ducking away from the camera and it was even mentioned in the caption, and people in the comments were laughing because "oh, he's so ashamed to be with her" or that they were holding hands (to me, that just looks like he was holding her shoulder, some people also said that she grabbed his hand when he pulled it back but I didn't see that)

Honestly, whatever, if they're dting, good for them, if not, also good for them, people alredy ruined Landos last realtionship so I completely understand him wanting to keep this secret if they are, even tho she keep hinting at it, but maybe she's just an obsessed friend, who the fuck knows?

I also won't post that clip, because I can't download it and sharing the link could show my account, so I just won't do that, which is probably for the better, we should just respect his privacy, because none of us would like being recorded 24/7 and posted online, even if that is part of his job, just let him live his life off the track.

This might be full of typos, I literally can not be bothered to read through this and check so whatever, feel free to rant about this in my comments, reblogs, or my ask box, just don't go in my dms, I'm here to speak my mind, not argue.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #7510:

I forgot which submission number it was that talked about how Puritanism and Puritanism culture were terms being watered down unless I’m remembering a completely different blog, feel free to correct me on that, but I am aware what Puritan culture is outside of fandoms are those toxic extremely religious group of people that think that punishing people who participate in pre-marital sex. I am also aware that ironically, puritans have groomed young women, which sounds similar to how Antis are ironically always the one to be caught being a predator. But when we say things like Puritans in Fandoms or when we call most antis Puritans, we’re not watering down any terms nor are we misusing it.

Antis have attacked people who shipped ships that were basically not the sterilized vanilla ships. Shipped two characters with an age gap that isn’t too sus? Antis will label your ship as “pedophilic” because the age gap makes them uncomfortable. Shipped characters that are in NO WAY related but most people view the relationship between the characters as siblings? Antis will label your ship as “incest” even though again, the characters are in no way, shape, or form related and they will force their “sibling dynamic” headcanon down people’s throats because god forbid you ship a straight ship nowadays.

Also, this is a heavily “depends on the fandom” situation where if it’s between a WLW or MLM pairing, it’s fine, but if it’s a straight ship, then suddenly it’s sinful. Sometimes it’s vice versa, but either way, you delve into a taboo kink in fiction that you don’t want to indulge into in real life because for example in real life, a teacher dating a student (college professor or high school reacher) it’s illegal and unethical as hell, but in fiction, no real student is being taken advantage of, so it’s okay and the author does not encourage that type of behavior. Another is public sex. Obviously, another one that is very illegal because it can get you put on a list, but writing/reading about it in a fanfic is fine because you’ll be indulging in a scenario in fiction that won’t get you arrested.

But even with the creator saying that they do not in anyway condone specific sexual behaviors like the ones I mentioned above, the antis and puritans will pop up and say how gross, disgusting, repulsive, and whatever other colorful term they want to call writers or artists in other cases.

If a ship that we like isn’t the sterilized vanilla type of ship, the boring fluffy fanfiction with no sex to be seen or mentioned, or the cutesy pure wholesome artwork of the popular LGBT ship of the month, that creator will sometimes be attacked.

And I don’t think I even need to mention fandom double standards when it comes to male characters and female characters being sexualized and the minute a female character is being sexualized, some of the loud toxic voices in the fandom are quick to call people who don’t like seeing female characters be desexualized for the sake of “empowerment” when the fictional men are being sexualized one hundred times more, “misogynistic.” Then I guess LGBT women and women in general have internalized misogyny for also wanting to see hot women in fiction. Plus, there are worse things that happen to established female characters in fanfiction when they get vilified for no reason for the sake of an MLM ship or a reader insert fic, which I personally think is worse as it slanders the female character’s personality and twists them into a character that they are not.

Unfortunately, just like most things outside of fandoms such as sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism, xenophobia, ableism and ageism, Puritanism has crawled its way into fandom culture as the years went on.

I am a bisexual woman who doesn’t want to see boring vanilla takes of WLW ships and that drawing of a female character? No real women are being harmed and surprise, surprise, there are many women out there who have made R34 of female characters, there are women who made or helped make Hentai, etc. Besides, the amount of energy antis put into defending fictional female characters from being sexualized could’ve been used and should’ve been used to help real women who are going through or went through far worse situations.

So the long story short, I have no idea what submission number this was, if that type of submission was made on this blog that is, Puritanism isn’t being watered down for fandom. Puritanism culture really has bled into fandom culture alongside many other toxic aspects that ideally shouldn’t even be in fandoms, but unfortunately, those problems still persist. If I got anything wrong, correct me, because my memory sucks.

[kookidough]

random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like “i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Nichya, your post about the way Zutarians view Katara struck a huge chord in me. 1 month ago, I was a naive multishipper who had just finished ATLA and was looking for good fics to read. Went on A03 and saw there were a lot of Zutara fics, sorted them out by kudos to see what the 10 most top-rated fics were. Katara is my favourite character, so I was really excited to see her post-canon life.

And. Oh, man. The experience was so fucking weird. I expected a lot of happy Katara fics, because canonically she IS really happy -the war is over, her family is reunited, her best friends Aang and Toph are alive, she can go home now to rebuild her tribe. That's NOT what I got.

The top-rated one was about how invisible and marginalised she felt being Aang's gf, and how she escaped it to be a world changing politician...in the fire nation??? When canonically Aang supported every one of her ambitions and all she wanted to do is restore her tribe?? Don't get me started on how the fic had Sokka, Toph, even Gran Gran all villanised Aang and blamed him for Katara's oppression.

Another one was a typical forced-marriage with Zuko because of duty?? And she and Zuko had children and her kids found 12 year old Aang??? Not even going to touch that one.

The 3rd was that Zuko pointed out to Katara how she fussed and looked after Aang as a mom or older sister, and Katara agreed she "coddled him". (did they miss the part when Miss Katara was a trouble-maker and Aang had to save her everytime?? And she canonically thought of Aang as the leader in the group???)

Another one was how Kataang had broken up, but Aang was still waiting for her and "hoped to marry her one day" and she was so indignant she fell into Zuko's sexy arms. (I literally laughed out loud at this, because canonically Katara was incredibly jealous of Aang's fangirls from S1 and Aang never gave af about Jet)

One incredibly gross one when Katara marries Aang out of duty because "she cannot break his heart" but always loved Zuko. KATARA. The girl who was ready to abandon her tribe to learn waterbending in ep.1!

And 2 more forced marriages, one where Katara is Zuko's captive and pawn of war, and they have sex literally when she's still a prisoner of HIM.

Like. I cannot tell you how shocked I was. It really disgusted me. I promise I did not know anything about Zutara before that.

It was obviously my mistake, clearly Zutara isn't meant for me. People can write whatever they want, I'm not here to police anyone's fandom.

But I was just struck by how much Katara was unhappy and so cut off from her canon best friends (Aang, Toph) and loving family (her tribe, Sokka, Hakoda).

Either she was cut off through force (forced marriage, captivity). Or because she personally felt secretly resentful and jealous of Aang, "parentified" and burdened by Sokka, disgusyed by her misogynistic tribe...

And how no one understood her except for Zuko. No one could give her the tools to empower herself except for Zuko. Only in the Fire Nation can she be independent and free.

It just felt so wrong!!!! I gave up. I couldn't stand to see Katara so resentful, bitter, and sad with her canon life unless she marries Zuko.

Anyway. Thanks for the blog. And for writing such insightful posts. It really articulated my discomfort.

Once again: for people who claim to be "the TRUE Katara fans", Zutairans hate everything about her character and arc, especially how happy she ended up being. Half the misery they put her through almost feels like trying punish her for not jumping straight into Zuko's arms.

[sketchehm]

Imagine mer dream was set free by like a well meaning but uninformed group who basically set him up to die, like how people will release pet bunnies despite them not being able to survive in the wild. And basically just signed his death certificate, atleast until he's found by sbi and stuck back in a tank or smt.

In that case maybe sbi twist it so Dream thinks that group were trying to kill him so they have to protect him from everyone else (that and he literally doesn't know how to survive in the wild and cant camouflage)

Some well meaning activists(?) breaking into whatever facility to set Dream free, not knowing how Dream is never meant to be in the wild... Dream was probably fed fantastical ideas of freedom and was eager about being let free! Being dumped in a giant river that leads to the ocean (Dream not even knowing he wouldn't survive in the ocean), the water is cold and gross and the currents keep pushing him every which way.... This is terrible :'(! Hes hungry and he's constantly tired and his fins hurt and he didn't know the wild was so terrible!! Theres so many other...*things* in the water that keep chasing him and scaring him and one of them tore up the ends of his fins, he doesnt know why they leave the other fish alone and not him!!! But if he makes it to the ocean surely it'll be better!! (The water was feeling weird and making it hard to breathe the closer he got but he didnt know why really)

Sbi telling Dream how they *saved* him. How some kids were just pulling a sick joke on him and were probably watching him die slowly. If anything, those people probably actually worked at the facility and just fed him lies, the facility probably wanted to get rid of him, probably thought him useless and too much of a problem to maintain. Dream surely isn't behaving with sbi, no wonder whoever had him before wanted him dead and gone!

But sbi won't give him up ever, they actually *do* care about him, they *know* he can be a good fish for them, those other people just didn't know how to train Dream obviously! (Dream didnt realize he had to be trained at all, is that true? Could he not be himself? Is what he is just *wrong* and that's why he was set up for death...?)

Dream would probably argue it a lot in the beginning though...those people acted like his friends!! They were so nice to him. Surely they didn't want him dead? And sure the facility was stifling and they kept forcing him to do dumb things like learn how to count and he always kept resisting and being stubborn...but they never were *cruel* to him, they never scared him like sbi, they never really threatened him like sbi does now, just to make him behave... but they never showed Dream any kind of true care or compassion either(cause thats what sbi also are giving him...right?). Sbi says they treated him like some zoo animal probably (and that's bad from the way they say it).

Drram does miss the facility's tank, it was bigger and had more Enrichment:tm:! The stream was difficult to live in (and he was slowly dying in it) but it still gave him a rush and a breathe of fresh air!

Now hes in a tiny tank just swimming in aimless circles, bored and depressed. (His colors are dull and his fins are ripped and ruin and aren't growing back..) He can make it to the ocean one day though, he needs to keep that hope that he'll be really free! (Even if over time that goal is starting to seem scary in itself...)

[d33pwithinmys0ul]

AOT toy store headcanons

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LOMG but we’re fitting almost three years of memories into this post

i'm obsessed that some of you have brewed up fire hcs after my post asking if ya'll wanted this! i love that u love this!! i worked at that toy store job for so long and lost a lot of the whimsy towards the end, but this post was pretty fun to write, so i hope my experiences make this fun for u too

🛍️🧸

-obviously, Connie's a fucking natural, he thrives in a company tee and cargo shorts, ready to make someone's day

-Connie loves to demo toys--RC cars, drones, RC snakes/lizards bc he's a menace, will absolutely pick an adult with children to terrorize with whatever device he’s allowed to play with that shift and stick with them until they’re annoyed (will employ the other staff for “RC fights” but that’s when you know it’s slow as hell)

-Connie also loves riding a big wheel around the store, obviously it's too small for him (he's only allowed to when it's basically empty because nobody trusts him to not mow over a kid in that thing)

-Sasha likes to make displays, specifically for books and plushies! Will usually have Mikasa help her with heavier items or when building something taller, because no way in hell she's having Connie or Jean hold a ladder after she nearly fell once, trying to haul giant teddy bears with those two at the base

-Sasha is not allowed to organize or “dust” the candy bins anymore.. she is the reason why there’s a limit on free staff candy and discounted bulk bags of jelly beans

-guys you have no idea how anal assistant manager Levi is about dusting, LOOK, it's a huge deal in a toy store because you don't want any inventory to get old and gross and there's soooo many boxes everywhere---toy boxes matter, they have to stay clean, they display something that'll light up a child's day!

-Levi has a schedule for each section to be cleaned and trains everyone to dust and clean properly (start at the top of the shelf/tower display and go down since the excess dust falls, always use a microfiber cloth)

-slow shifts means playing a board game together for team building and yes Mikasa is competitive, yes Eren is a sore loser, yes Armin usually wins

-Armin is actually a sore winner because he will explain his strategy and why he prefers games of skill over chance, “unintentionally” rubbing it in

-Eren is a bit quiet on the floor and just prefers handling pallets and stocking, swears he isn’t good with kids and is kind of awkward but is better than he gives himself credit for.

-Mikasa is low key a doll expert. great at helping find proportions for furniture and clothing and knows more obscure lines

-the staff all take turns doing the free reading circle every weekend, Jean is usually the most popular because he likes to do all the voices and he’s fine as fuck, single parents flock to him bc he’s a natural with kids sorry im picturing him in a tight tee and cargo shorts rn goddamn

-Jean will do sidewalk chalk art to promote side walk sales or do window murals for the seasons or holidays <3

-Historia does a lot of the calligraphy for signage throughout the store and she and Hitch are a fire social media team- they somehow convinced the owner (Erwin, doesn’t work the floor unless it’s busy as hell, just buys stock and handles the financials) to get into blind boxes to keep up with the times

-before Hange quit their part time shifts to return to working as a professor, they would demo the children’s science kits, their fave is the fossil digging chests

-Levi despises the geode bins in the science section and didn’t restock after they all sold out. soooo much excess dust

-Bertholdt and Eren are the best to ask about fidget toys and how each appeals to certain people, and they both adore the early open low stimulation hours offered occasionally

-there’s also LEGO events that involve free exclusive mini sets to pick up and build, RBA usually handles those because they and Levi will go out to the community and donate excess blocks after🙂‍↕️

-Annie and Armin usually judge LEGO build competitions, they do a lot at home together (though annie doesn’t seem the type she actually loves helping people pick out age and skill appropriate lego gifts)

-Reiner is the toy store santa for the christmas season (broad af.. awooga) there’s a red “mail box” he sits by once a week in December and the staff usually sneak the letters to the parents after

-Mikasa and Levi are closely tied for fastest and most efficient gift wrappers. sometimes it’s fine to take your time with it especially because the kids love to watch, but on busy winter shifts with a stack of gift wrapping forms, those two got it.

-okay, so every christmas there’s a competition for selling a certain number of items $50+, you can earn extra PTO, so everyone goes hard for the holiday season (so friend groups can coordinate vacations together)

-Hitch’s favorite tactic during said season is preying on the piece of shit dads that want to blow hundreds of dollars on christmas eve because they didn’t care enough to get anything sooner. she knows they don’t know a thing about their kid and just asks for gender and age and throws a bike or 18 inch doll their way, will convince them that bigger is better

-Marco is usually the silent killer though, he’s just warm and easy to approach (especially when the team pounces on sales in december, eyes shining like sasha eating meat), somehow he’s the first to max out his earned PTO every year

-most people don’t find out until right before Christmas that there’s a second store location an hour away (surprising usually because in my hc/experience, it’s a small business)

-You guessed it, the Marleyan cast work at a diff toy store and there is a bit of a rivalry, like a $1M difference in sales because of the location..

-Pieck is a puzzle fiend, Porco is a trading card expert

-RBA all switch between both stores and handle deliveries between them (exchanging stock, transfers)

and uh, let’s pretend this is a magical world where everyone got a living wage +compensation for the extra work that they do… (cough cough)

a real good christmas season shift at a toy store might be fanfic worthy tbh i might write some fluff for that this year?? i wanted to post some pics but i don’t wanna dox myself or my old co workers lol. will hunt down something less identifiable

anyways lmk if yall wanna hear my horror stories/hcs inspired by them bc this job was not all sunshine and rainbows lol

[strang3lov3]

Hi, feel free to delete this if you think it will bring shitty people to your ask box because I'm not looking to start any shit for you, but I'm curious... do you have mixed feelings reading/writing icky topics? I totally understand how it can be cathartic and liberating, but are you ever, like, squicked by it? (Sorry that's an old term, but i can't think of a current day one to encapsulate it lol). I've never been much of a reader of incest or darker topics, but I do really enjoy your writing and I've enjoyed getting more comfortable with fic that makes me uncomfortable! I was just wondering if you ever feel discomfort from them, whether reading or writing.

I appreciate how considerate you are 🩵 but yes, there are times I’m kind of squicked by my own writing. And that doesn’t invalidate that it’s still cathartic and healing for me, or sexy and turns me on. Things are not always black and white! Things can be both, or neither, or whatever.

It’s like sex for me, tbh. It’s something that’s pleasurable and that I enjoy doing, but I don’t always want it. Especially if I’m just in a funk or feeling super anxious or sick or literally anything else - I once had to call it quits during the act because I was too cold and that really upset me and I needed to be done right then and there. Doesn’t mean that I don’t love having sex with my partner or that the situation wasn’t arousing. Something wasn’t right for me, that’s all.

Emily Nagoski explains arousal working like the gas and brakes in a car, if you’ve ever read her book Come As You Are. And I think that’s a good way to describe what went on in the situation I just explained, and what goes on when I get a little upset by my own fics. You can be totally turned on - so pressing on the gas (reading/writing an icky fic that usually really does it for you), when maybe you have to suddenly apply the brakes (you’re reminded of personal memory, other outside factors, etc. you might not even know.) and bam - you’re not turned on by this thing you usually are turned on by. Maybe you’re even kind of disturbed by it.

It’s okay. We’re humans and we’re complicated. And only we get to define what we’re turned on by and what we like, and it’s okay if it changes sometimes. Nobody gets to point to these things to invalidate you by saying “HA you actually don’t like it because you’re grossed out by it right now!” Because you know who does that bullshit? Actual rape and SA apologists and defenders. It is a victim blaming adjacent statement. “You were wet, so you wanted it.” Nooope. Your physical reaction to sexual stimuli is not a 1:1 reflection of your desires. Neither are your private fantasies and thoughts. Sex cannot be boiled down to such an extreme way of thinking. And it’s ridiculous, too. We don’t tell people who’ve accidentally eaten rotten food that their mouths still salivated so obviously they wanted it. You know? Only you get to say what you’re turned on by and when you want something and when you don’t want something.

So, yes. There are times I get freaked out and upset by dark/icky fic. Incest used to be a private kink of mine, and overnight I had a horde of people talking about it nonstop - in both good ways and bad. That’s fucking heavy to be dealing with something publicly that elicits such a big reaction from people on either side.

I got an ask once that I should have been into, but I was high as balls and also had a bad week and was sick and I don’t know, I really didn’t like that ask in that moment. It really bothered me and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I ended up talking to my safe person about it and she was just like, “It’s okay to take some space from this for a minute. It’s a lot for one person to be in the position you’re in right now, and you’re not a porn machine, so.” And that really helped. That was really validating.

I hope this is validating too, to you and maybe other people who kinda struggle with this.

[michellezagenda]

I don’t really believe in the whole comphet thing the way obviously bi women use it to excuse their hetero attraction. But sometimes when I see a man who is considered outwardly "perfect" I do think "why am I not attracted to him?". Think of all the societal leverage and acceptance I’d have if I were with someone like that. And then I try imagine myself kissing him and physically recoil. It’s just an intense envy for how the straights (and most bis who act nearly straight) breeze through this world even if they don’t quite fit in, they still don’t get even a minuscule amount of the bullshit we have to go through. I hate myself for even feeling that envy because I’m genuinely grossed out by heterosexuality and of course no male who’s attracted to women is free of misogyny. But I can’t help feeling bitter and resentful. It always seems that people who don’t even deserve it have the easiest lives and the best luck in love. I also hate that my sexuality is the way it is and I’m not talking about the lesbianism which saves me from having to interact with men. As a relatively attractive person I could have dated many beautiful women by now but no, i’ll only get a crush on someone once in 7 years and then that falls through because she’s straight or nearly entirely moid-attracted. I wish I could hook up with hot women but I know I’d just feel like a hollow hoe and would hate myself if I did. So i’ve wasted away my youth feeling terminally sexually constipated. And then I have to see all these straight women go through 37 nigels to find "the one" who’s somewhat bearable while having the audacity to act as if lesbians were predatory or as if gay people didn’t deserve the "sanctity" or marriage they have no issues defiling without anyone batting an eye. I hate feeling envious of teen straight couples canoodling at the mall, knowing that i’ll never experience something like that not only because I am an adult but because I’d likely get hate crimed in my country for holding another woman’s hand in public. It’s like a constant circle of negative thoughts: envying the straights, particularly good-looking straight men who have all the women worship them for the bare minimum, wishing I could be hetero attracted, feeling disgusted by hetero attraction because it’s abnormal to me, feeling even more disgusted by the zesty straights who act as if their heterosexuality is different or oppressed somehow and ultimately feeling overcome with anger, suffocated that I can’t live happily as a lesbian since there are so few of us and heteronormativity & homophobia are weighing down on us every waking second like a lead blanket. I don’t even know who I’d want to be at this point. Maybe asexual if that was a real thing so I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this shit lmao. Sadly the only consolation of sorts is that 99% of straight women are never going to be happy being with men either so I can at least feel some solidarity with them in addition to other SSA women. I even feel resentful on behalf of all the incredible, smart, gorgeous straight women I know who have only happened upon the shittiest sexist men who are drop-dead-hideous to boot. Because at the same time you hear the most vicious mediocre straight women brag about how many amazing men they've been with and it just doesn't add up. To be happy with a man as a woman you have to reach peak levels of deluded denial and truly believe in male supremacy. Which is exactly why none of these incredible smart women are happy with them.

i understand u & sympathize with u. especially that mall part. Although I am bisexual, it’s only natural for me to date women so i am preparing for a life with a woman and the societal backlash that will come from it .. whatever. Unfortunately most women are straight and unwilling to be single or here input from other women about the repetitive patterns that women go through with men. you gotta just accept we can’t save everyone from their delusions.

srry if this is all over the place but i get u 🤙🏼

[aliquistis]

On Mystra and Gale

Okay I gotta say it.

tl;dr: Gale is too old to have been groomed by Mystra (unless you headcanon him as 30 or younger), bc she was dead until 1479 (game year is 1492). I am not defending Mystra. Mystra is a mess. Her (FR) writing is a mess. But for this at least, the timeline doesn't add up.

Disclaimer: there is absolutely nothing wrong with people disregarding/tweaking lore for fan works/fanfic. God knows I do it all the time when I GM. That's your story now and you can do whatever you want with it, including exploring problematic relationships like what if Gale was groomed by Mystra? This is just a post for general information. Write what you want. Explore those dark recesses of the human heart. Fly free, you beautiful butterfly.

Too long but still gonna read explanation under the cut.

Let me preface this again: This is not a post in defense of Mystra. I have, in fact, been very loudly complaining about Mystra since long before Baldur's Gate 3 was even hinted. This is simply pointing out timeline discrepancies that it seems many newcomers to Forgotten Realms aren't aware of (totally understandable! You should not need to ingest 30 years of lore to enjoy a game and I'm not saying you do.) Additionally, FR literally kills Mystra every new edition and it gets dumber every time.

Anyways. It is highly unlikely that Gale was groomed by Mystra. This is not a statement of morality, it's a statement of timeline. Mystra died in 1385. She was in pieces (like bits of her magic were still in artifacts/her Chosen, such as Elminster in lore that I absolutely despise) and that, as far as I can tell, is how magic subsisted until 1479, when she was reconstituted by Elminster (in lore that I absolutely despise) This is a gross oversimplification of an event called the Spellplague. I am open to correction on how magic worked here because I moved to Pathfinder during the 4e era and you could not make me read those Elminster books if you put a gun to my head.

Regardless, from 1385-1479, Mystra was dead/missing/asleep. BG3 takes place in 1492. If Gale is 40 years old, he was born in 1452. This means, if Gale is 40, the youngest he could have been was 27 when Mystra contacted him. This lowers, obviously, if you think Gale is 35 or even 30. If he's 30 then Mystra could have contacted him at 17. Yes, a 17 year-old is a child and this could have led to grooming, but Mystra wasn't at full strength when she first returned and she most likely wasn't seeking new Chosen until the next year, 1480. Regardless, this is the reason I put grooming as Highly Unlikely instead of Impossible. I personally believe Gale is older than 30 (I say this as a person in their 30s), I believe he was written with the intention of being a man older than 30, and I cannot see him being in his 20s. (more power to you if that's your headcanon, he's an archmage, he could be 600 for all we know, fly free, etc)

OKAY THAT SAID. Would she have groomed him? Fucking probably! Mystra is a mess. I have been playing in Forgotten Realms in tabletop and video game settings for going on 25 years now and let me tell you. Mystra is a mess. I could make a whole long ass other post on all the many problems I've had with her writing over the years. Even without the "Mystra banged a minor" angle here, there is a serious power imbalance and very obvious manipulation on her part. And I'm here to tell you Gale isn't even the first wizard she has done this to! She's done much worse! Mystra has a ton of flaws (I could write a BOOK on Mystra's flaws) but it remains highly unlikely that grooming Gale in particular is one of them.

If you'd like more FR lore this person has some amazing lore write-ups that I really enjoyed reading during EA. And here is Mystra's forgotten realms wiki page, already linked to her death and return.

(my friend told me to post this after I kept bitching to them about Lore on discord and They Know Who They Are)