#... im looking at these msgs again and now im SAD

[alligaytorswamp]

ok i know he is like.. kinda terrible or whatever 😒 but i wouldn't leave him like that!! yes i would entertain him, in fact i would probably respond in 0.001 sec to his stupid scam links and he would leave ME on read. let me live my dream oh my god

[istherewifiinhell]

okay apropos of nothing. these idiots

[ID: Rise turtles screenshot redraw (from ep: mystic library) with 3 mutant-sonas, all looking up in apprehension in front of a help desk. They are: a red half mask wearing caimen (a small crocodilian) in dark and light green, a green eye mask wearing snapping turtle, in tealish tones, and blue masked... thing, with reptilian features and antenna, in mint green and warm beige. END]

da dipshit brothers <-collective gendering leave me alone

weep whomp bullshit be below

goes like this

ID: discord msg from: Stop. eating. THE POISON! (green): (going through screenshots) look it us

[ID: Og rise screenshot, the turtles are leo, raph and don. END]

see no mike shot cause we dont have a mike. if ur a mike type and sad abt it idk get urself adopted?

attempt one:

ID: message from: keep it down Vomitello (blue): (RED) mutant sona. NOW image attached is the green and blue characters in sort of proto designs, more 'rise style', lined and coloured, over the screenshot. the red one sketched in with only the expression and a blob of colour. text with an arrow points to it as "YOU GO HERE" END

fugging guy doesnt even have a mutant sona. ridiculous

an aside about styles:

[ID: msg from green: Yours is too cute that’s not fair (edited) blue: JUST CAUSE" i cant draw ur guy aswell rise style harrrrrd look practice sketch came out looking like 03 jhbdjhfg. myyyy bias attached sketch of the green turtles head more in line with 03 shows turtles (smaller eyes, diff head shape) END]

ID: msg from: beautiful birthday baby (red): Oh oof you can't just put me on the spot like that green: yes we can blue: im sorry u havent THOUGHT ABOUT IT. fucked up of u END]

Red: Leatherhead but not as big or smart Blue: HMMM which kind of crocodilian u wanna be. theres some fun ones Red: I'm partial to caimans and alligators Green: well chop chop pick up the pen tool Red: So caiman seems about right for a smaller alligator Blue: theyyyy are just little guyssss Red: Idek if I have clip studio installed rn Blue: u got mspaint. itll do

EIGHT HOURS PASS

[ID: msg from blue: gotta do everything around here attached art now has the caimen character drawn in, mostly the same as above. Though still in broad cartoony style, he has strong eye ridges, flat head, prominent alligator type snout with nostrils and gullet. END]

Green: WOOOOW THATS REALLY GOOD Red: Sorry I've been busy That is good tho thank you Blue: THANKIES. i do like crocodilians. is the thing. [Green] ur odd man out now. beak urself Green: That’s on you for not changing the style Blue: WELL. i was tryna draw ur guy as youuu drew him fghjsdf. gotta put him on the pottery wheel... MOLD HIM [...] Blue: anyway u. any actual animals ur guy is supposed to evoke or should i just look up bulbasaur realistic fanart

ID: Green: Lmfao is supposed to be a normal snapping Turble Blue: arrghhhaa YEAHgg photo of a snapping turtle making a funny face

an aside about... the devils green:

[ID: Green: Now I’m trying to think of how a big croc mouth smokes weed Blue: smoking big doinks in amish silly sketch of the caiman smoking a joint, eyes half lid with a big goofy smile, smoke coming out the nostrils. END]

Green: But [Red] doesn’t use joints Blue: IM NOT DRAWING A BONG. Green: I’m thinking of his big dumb [novelty branded bong] tryina get the croc mouth on it Blue: jhgbhjsdfg Green: That’s what’s making me laugh

ID: Blue: with difficulty sketch of the caiman with head lowered to a excessively long bong, arm stretch to over the distance of both his muzzle and the bong. hand drawn holding lighter to the. smoke bit. smoke comes out of the nostrils again. Green: HELL YEAHHHHH END]

Blue: 2 hours old and hes already schmoking Green: When he exhale becomes a dragon Blue: Yer Green: [Red] look at your weed smoking fursona Red: I got distracted but I hate and love it Green: was the distraction weed Red: No it was tik tok Green: so worse the worst drug

Attempt 2:

[ID: Blue: okay get creatured idiot art now has the turtle as the above art, without only minor touches. He has a wider set eyes, a more shapely and pronounced beak, the 'teeth' coming to a point, eye ridges, and more colour variation. END]

Green: YIPPEEE i forgor is yours a robot Blue: yerrr lol least amount of guy to draw and from front view so idk how to show. the CHOMPERS

(aka, now I FELT left out)

attempt 3: et volia

[ID: All characters as above, with highlights and shadows now, only drawn over the screen shot, not edited into frame. The blue masked reptile robot thing has been moved so its more visible also gaining a flatter head, eye ridges, a pointer (tho still round) beak with more teeth indicated in the comical expression. it has a scarf the same colour as its mask. END]

anyways i was like arggghh how to edit them into the scene better that seeeeeem HARDDDDDD. think about makeing them bigger and moving them and etcetc. until i realised i bet i could just get this background from the episode.... and then i was fucking around on websites. suffering... until i remembered.... i have... ALL OF SEASON 1. on my laptop. and. the thumbnail for this eps file is LITERALLY. this

[ID: the blank background of the library, with the desk in fore, little orb lights above, and the kooky purple mystic library selves and what not in back. END]

s'its about 3 mins in.

[knbposting]

hi robyn - this is transmasckagami. im so glad you came back to posting about knb and your art. in between the release of the movie and now i always appreciated the art you posted of aomine, kagami, and momoi. even now i think about that one sketch you posted of aomine and kagami bitching on the couch in sweatpants. it is so quintessential them.

anyway, welcome back!

you know when you're having an absolutely atrocious day and you self-sabotage and you think all your friends hate you and nothing goes right at all? that's been my day today. and for the last few days with knb too because there are five or six of us IN TOTAL ? i felt super sad about having this thing i love sooo much and no one around to talk to :( feeling like i should maybe just be quiet about it again, yannoooo. but you've made me so so so happy with this msg and i wanna save it to look at later 😭😭 thank you so so so much!! day saved you're so sweet

[yknowamogus]

Penis X Pebis

its 3:55 in the morning, pebis is ready for his date with his boyfriend: Penis

pebis: YIPPEE IM MEETING WITH PENIS!!!

Theres an issue though Pebis is late because the date is due thursday and today is friday meaning Pebis needs to pray and manifest thursday

It's known that pebis is always late for his date, Especially for this date which is his first

Pebis cries knowing he might not make it in time because praying and manifesting will take a decade to finish.. but wait he has an idea

Pebis: peepus is a train driver! He can drive me to London less than 25 minutes

He msgs peepus for a ride and good for him, He did, Now, Thats happened, Peepus had a little crush on Pebis. Peepus proposed Pebis on the train leaving Pebis in shock

Pebis: H-h-Huh?

Peepus: quiero ser esposo

Pebis: Peepus.. I have a boyfriend.. We have a date :(

Peepus: que..? D;

Peepus cries

Peepus runs

Peepus jumps

Pebis: PEEPUS NOOO-

Peepus has died. Luckily Pebis knows how to perform Cpr with a 3 minute video tutorial and used CPR by Cupcakke for a perfect rhythm

Peepus: dudjd rkfkfnn rjfjfi

Pebis: Omg Hes waking up

Peepus: ¿dónde diablos estoy?

Pebis: In your train :)

Peepus: ¿qué? pensé que me odiabas

Pebis: Uh yeah i like adidas, Anyway i saved you and im sorry how i acted, but i still wont accept ur proposal. I hope you understand :(

Peepus: :(

Peepus was devastated and ran away once again because how embarrassed he was. Meanwhile Pebis watched an hour video to drive peepus train to arrive at london

"choo choo"

The sound of the horny train.. Wait what?

turns out its February 21, THE DAY OF TRAIN MATING!!

The train made noise to attract other trains and went out of control

"Choo choo motherfuckers"

instantly attracted all the attractive trains, which may be good for the trains its absolutely not for Pebis and may delay his date drastically. but wait he actually has an idea

*screwdriver noises* *hammer noise* *robot noise*

Woah Pebis made robotic wings thats nice. He uses the robotic wings to fly over london. .

"nyoooom"

Pebis made it to London in time!! He arrived at arbys where penis is

Pebis: Penis im here

Pebis: Penis?

Pebis found penis dead on the ground

Pebis is distraught

Pebis is sad

Pebis cries

Pebis runs

It's over.. The date is ruined and Penis is dead. Pebis has an idea! Instead of crying he went to peenus home and apologized for everything

Pebis: Look. Im sorry for rejecting you and i was wrong

Peenus: ¿Que?

Pebis: I came back from london t-to

pebis stutters as he nervously tries to say something

Pebis: t-to marry.......

Peenus: ...?

Pebis: Peenus.. Remember the proposal from earlier..?

Peenus: Si

Pebis: Well.. I want you to do it again

Peenus: :0 💍

Pebis: :D 💍

Pebis and peenus is happily married and plans to go on mount everest for a honeymoon! Such lovely couples :]

thanks for reading !!

[nonclassyparty]

YEEESSS TO THE NEW CHAPTER, THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABT 🤝🤝

im all for guys being absolutely in awe of our y/n, that's what my bb girl deserves !! so first hyunjin (yess) to now mINGI HELLO?? GET IT GIRL, SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH PLS WORLD LET HER HAVE HAPPINESS AS WELL 😤

+ i cant WAIT for her to show everyone just how smart she is ! peoples jaws will be dropped, wigs will be snatched and some ppl will be embarrassed af abt things they've said and/or thought abt (looking at u san + gang, u lil bitches)

san going from being such a nice and caring guy to y/n to just using her for sex is making me so sad for her, like san KNOWS what he's done to all these girls including y/n but he just doesn't seem to care (maybe he does and feels shitty abt it who knows)

wooyoung and hongjoong giving y/n the friendship and care she deserves !! and the scenes with seonghwa rly made me tear up, it's such a complicated situation and i get why he's angry, he felt like he lost his little sister to drugs and that she isnt here anymore and is long gone. little does he know, that girl never left and she just wants his big brother back :(

a great chapter, ily and thank u for your work <3

i'm having such an off day and don't know how to respond to half of the msgs in my inbox rn so i'm sorry for all the dry responses i'm just sluggish today 😭

san knows what he's doing with girls and he feels kinda bad but on the other hand he doesnt, he's one of those sad lil bois who got their heart broken in grade school and decided to never trust a woman again (not really but we'll get to that idk)

but thank you so much for reading and for the feedback, have a great day <333

[switchbladedick]

omg phaedrussss i thought I've lost you for ever 😭😭😭😭 i was away from tumblr for a while and when I came back you were missing on my dash and I thought you had gotten nuked for being so hot and all and 😭😭😭😭 i literally got sad BUT now I'm happy because you're still here and the cult is still strong 🫡🤭 (shy anon, why and how are you so cuteee??? are you even real???)

Anywayyyy. How have you been? How is your leg healing?? How was the test??? (I was reading your blog/catching up but got to five days ago and decided to msg first hehe)

( Also! I looked up the last msg I sent and firstly how dare u getting me horny out of nowhere, literally so rude (/j). But i guess I'll answer your question (years later, sorry💀) I'm okay with everything, i think? I use she/her and all pet names get me lmao. What about youuu???)

— admired 🩷

ADMIERERRRRRRRRRR HELLO ITS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! the cult still lives (although puppy's blog got nuked 😭😭😭) and ur so right shy anon is unrealistically adorable. ive been pretty good!!! my leg feels fine and i cannot fucking WAIT to get this motherfucking cast off. its happening this tuesday and i swear to god it cannot come fast enough im sick of not being able to use my LEG DAMMIT. the test went well, and by well i mean i got just about the score i was expecting, which in any other circumstance would Not be great, but in context is a surprisingly decent score.

u mentioning it made me go back and reread, and damn now you got ME horny about it too 🙄 soooooo messed up smh. now im gonna be thinking about that for the rest of the night....

good to know about your terms darlin 😘 my pronouns are he/him and tend to prefer masculine terms but theres a few exceptions i cant think of off the top of my head rn lmao. i loooove pet names but usually more when im feeling subby. some people have played around with titles for me when im domming and i tend to like them a lot but they also feel pretty situation-specific so if you wanna try one just ask and ill let u know ;)

[harryseightynine]

masterlist | ask

like, reblog and feedback means a lot to me ;)

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yourinstagram europe was fun

erodasoty love your style!!!!!!

rosescheer are you going to MSG shows?

↳ yourinstagram yes 😝

harris_reed gorgeous

gemmastyles can’t wait to see you again xx

bellahadid need ur help, come back to meeeeee

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ynsource life goals: to be styled by YN/YLN

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↳ jamesdeaneyes he only has that blue jacket now

arianasharry @yourinstagram save harry

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harryupdates Harry out in New York with friends today.

twoghostaylor he left toronto asap

godharry the shirt omg

matildaishome BREATHLESS

ynfan2 YN WAS WITH HIM

gotlostinwonderland his outfit it’s so GOOD

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ynupdates YN via Instagram Story!

harrygoldenhours i didn’t know she designed the clothes too

ynfan4 yn and yourbff i missed theeeeeem

cherrystyles i love her making fun of harry lambert

wsmrry which outfits did she design?

↳ hsfashionarchive she styled nashville 2021 gucci suit, long island, las vegas, paris, madrid, lisbon and MSG :)

↳ glossierry the best 😫

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harrystyles Love On Tour. New York City I. August, 2022.

sunflowervolrry that leave america was very sad

↳ 94.rry europe did it better

↳ fromeroda that was the point

yourinstagram SLAYED AGAIN

harrystyles liked this commentary

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yourinstagram i just posted a video of summer clothes! check the link in my bio for more ideas :)

haileybieber STUNNING

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harrystyles Your smile, I’m delighted.

↳ yourinstagram should I say thank you?

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harryupdates HARRY AND YN WERE SPOTTED IN NEW YORK

tobesofineline ARE THEY DATING?

↳ harryupdates they are friends

↳ saturnmoonstyles the last time we said it didn’t end well

↳ astyleswas do not remember me

harryishome stop making assumptions

augustslippedaway he looks so happy 🥺

[stargazer-balladeer]

it’s my birthday soon and i’ve always felt lonely during my birthdays— so if it’s alright, can i request headcanons for scaramouche, xiao, and albedo with an s/o who only locks themselves in their bedroom because they don’t feel special enough to even celebrate their birthday? thank you 🥺

S/o’s birthday but locks themselves in their rooms because they don’t feel special [Genshin Impact]

Characters Included: Albedo, Scaramouche & Xiao

Notes: 👁👄👁 the title is so long- i don’t know how to shorten it- hshshs. Btw, HAPPY ADVANCE BDAY ANON-!! I KNOW THAT FEELING ANON- SO UR NOT ALONE 🤧🤧 if you want to talk, you can msg me anytime-! You deserve to be showered with love-! Hope ya’ll like this!

Reader’s Gender: Neutral

Warning: none

[aether, childe, diluc, kaeya, venti]

Albedo

As much as Albedo wants to remember your birthday, he just forgets because of many things running through his mind. Especially when it comes to new discovery. He’ll be so sorry when he remembered that your birthday was today-

At first, Albedo had a hard time looking for you. He asked everyone- yes even Diluc, Kaeya, Jean, Klee, everyone- but no one has seen you. Which made him worried since no one has seen you the entire day—

He would literally tear down Mondstadt trying to find you until he remembered that he hasn’t check your house yet. When he finds that you’ve been locked up in your room the entire day, it literally broke his heart- ;w;

He would feel like it’s his fault that you don’t feel special, like bro- he would have a sad puppy face on. He will put his hands on either side of your face and make you face him-

“You are special. You are like the sun. You are like a (God/Goddess). Even if you don’t feel special yourself, you’re special to me. And since you’re my beloved, my (prince/princess), you deserve all the happiness and love in the world. You deserve to feel special on your special day. So smile, I don’t want to see any tears.”

Albedo would do anything you want, probably to make up his forgetfulness- :p if you want cuddles, then cuddles you’ll get. If you want a cake or something, he’ll try to bake something, no promises though. (Its the thought that counts, right? 👀).

Albedo would use his ability of drawing and bringing them to life. He would draw all sorts of things, bunnies, squirrels, flowers, and others. He knew that you love watching him draw and bringing them to life. It honestly warms his heart knowing you love what he’s passionate about.

If you want, Albedo could talk to you about all the things he found out recently. All of the research and things he discovered. If you ever question some things regarding about what he discovered, he would happily try to explain it. (It’s honestly adorable seeing him explaining the things he discovered in his research- 🤧)

At the end of the day (around 11-), he would cuddle with you while laying beside you. Every so often, he would press a kiss on your head.

“Happy Birthday, my love. May many more to come... the next time your birthday come, I promise we’ll celebrate it together properly.”

Scaramouche

If you think that Scaramouche doesn’t care about your birthday, then you’re right-! 😃 I’m joking- (unless-). He honestly wants to spend your birthday together with you, but his duty as a Harbinger comes first.

Believe me when I say he feels guilty. Leaving you alone on your special day is honestly low, even for him. He would definitely try to finish all of his missions immediately to get back to you. He would do whatever means necessary to finish them all immediately (he might or might not have sacrificed some people in the process- 👀).

You can imagine his confusion when he couldn’t find you anywhere. He already has something set up for you, all he needs is the birthday person themselves. But he couldn’t you anywhere.

Someone better tell him to check your room or else he would literally tear down the Fatui headquarters just to look for you-! He seriously need to manage his anger- 😓

Scaramouche would find it weird to he finds out that you’ve been in your room for the entire day. At first, he didn’t understand why you’re doing this. But soon, he’ll understand. Afterall, he might’ve done that before..

This guy has no manner whatsoever as he just entered your room like he owns the place- one look at you and the next thing you know is that he’s pampering you- like he’ll be preparing a bath for you and choosing an outfit for you (he’s a fashionista, change my mind 😃). Like bro, who are you and what happened to Scaramouche?

“Tsk. You’re quite a handful, you do know that, correct? Making me go through all this effort to comfort you. Now tell me, who put that idea on your head? Was it your family? Was it someone else? I honestly want to murder whoever put that idea in your pathetic head. ‘Not special to celebrate your birthday’? Ha! Don’t make me laugh. Everyone deserves to feel special, even if its for one day. Now, stop being stubborn and enjoy it-!”

Scaramouche would pamper you so much, like his personality did a 180- he would be pressing kisses all over your body and praising you like theres no tomorrow. He would help you dry yourself and put on the outfit he chose for you. If your hair is long, he would help styling it.

He would take you on a fancy dinner date (this guy is also rich, fite me—). He would honestly spoil you lmao- so enjoy it while it lasts- 😃

“Don’t expect this everyday, okay? I’m not gonna put much effort the next time... still.. happy birthday, my beloved. Don’t ever feel like you’re not special when you’re special to me.. if you ever feel sad, come to me. Thank you for putting up with me.”

Xiao

(Yes I’ve remade the Xiao banner again- 🤧🤧 im very indecisive ik-)

Celebrating birthday? What’s that? Xiao honestly didn’t think much of it since centuries pass by with his day of birth passing each time, he never really thought much of it. Never bothered celebrating it.

But when he found out (from Verr or Rex Lapis/Zhongli) that the mortals celebrate their birthdays, he honestly doesn’t have a clue on how to celebrate it. So he might seek the help of Verr or the Traveller.

He does his best. Please give him credit for trying- ;;w;; He’ll try his best to make something for you. It won’t be anything grand. A simple picnic near Wangshu Inn with some Almond Tofu and other food-

So when the day of your birthday came, Xiao is nervous. He doesn’t know if you’ll like the surprise or not. But when he started to look for you, he was confused when he couldn’t find you before growing worried.

Unlike the other bois, he would immediately check your room before tearing the place down- when he finds you there, he’s honestly confused again- (poor bby, always getting confused- ;;w;;). When you explain to him that you just don’t feel special during your birthday, Xiao would get worried and upset-

The first thing he does is hug you. Like this is the only thing he knows about comforting someone- its not like he encountered humans that needs comforting- ;w;

“I.. don’t really know what it feels like to not feel special on your day of birth but.. you’re special to me. Isn’t that enough?”

Like broooo, he looks like a sad puppy- he’s honestly lost on what to do. You might as well need to comfort him too 😅. He would try to shower you with affections before dragging you to the picnic he set up.

He would be so relieved if you like or love the picnic he set up. As much as its embarrassing for him, he would allow you to feed him and, if you let him, feed you in return. He will continue to press some kisses on your face, head and hands. Because, like, u really deserve it- 🥺🥺

He would bring you to the highest mountain just near Wangshu Inn and enjoy the view, and possibly go stargazing with you. I can see him knowing how to make a flower crown for some reason :pp so he’ll make a flower crown out of Qingxin flowers and place it on your head-

“Happy day of birth, my love. Even as more days of birth come, I promise to make you special. Even though it’s not the grandest, I hope that my efforts and love will be enough.”

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page || [x] Liyue Page || [x] Fatui Harbingers Page

[jjks-dodo]

Hello ! Im really sry about the troubles that are happening with etsy. I wanted to open my own shop there too one day & now Im a lil bit scared😫Hope that the refund will work! I will wait or contact them for sure bc I would like to order your merch again ! Really love your works. You are one of my fav jjk artists💓Also I saw u posted your Satoru look up figure. I have him as well. He is so huge & adorable🤍Cant wait to see Suguru's one !

hi there! yeah it's really sad that this happened.. but it might be that i was just unlucky.. i really hope so. I was expecting etsy to at least send an email (like an automated email) to the buyers and let them know what's going on with my shop and issue a refund, but it seems like they're not giving the buyers any information while blocking me from logging in to my account so I can't contact the buyers on etsy msg either... ugh... i really hope they issue the refund before the buyers have to contact them.. i'm sorry if you bought my merch from my etsy shop;; sorry to make things so complicated..T.T and thank you for loving my works!!

anyway lookup gojo is just so adorable ughhhhhh i heard look up suguru will be available in next july or so? so i'm looking forward to it ;w; can't wait to put them together on my desk ;w;;w;

[lemongogo]

I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY ABT KNY,, the gotouge handled the relationships and tied them in will with character introspection is so,, melancholic ??? idk how to describe it but smtimes the story feels like a dream sequence and it hits right in ur heart,,, yknow when yuuichiro was like the mu in muichiro is the in in infintiy,, i laid down and cried lmao but anywyas PLEASE continue to share ur thoughts as u re read its really nice to see that im not the only one going crazy over this..

ok hi sry this was the msg where i i had so much written and stuff but by now ive forgotten like 90% of the shit i just talked abt and the thought of typing it out again makes me sad so i think im just gna paraphrase it the best i can im so sry 😭😭

but YEAH.. no exactly , melancholy is suchhh a good descriptor of how the manga feels. that and saudade , for how its almost like . ig nostalgic isnt exactly the right word to use, but bittersweet, maybe, about things u Wish you knew more about / had more time to interact with.

gotouge does such a great job of evoking emotion w their work imo. while single lines & panels collectively amount to big themes and such, i feel like they maintain a lot of influence on their own. lots of these scenes work well as standalone pieces , no matter how small or simple, and its so special to me :-) !!

&& im so happy u brought up muichirou's story bec omfg yeah tht was so sad i cried my eyes outAHAHA. that or genya's "shinazu means immortality" line .wtf......withers away.god . its soo good . but YEAH W MUICHIROU, i feel like his arc perfectly encapsulates how well gotouge utilizes emotion and threads these stories together, bit by bit.

THISS sequence is soo good bc i like how tanjirou's compassion is what kickstarts muichirou's backstory. and while thats a common theme for most of the characters, it's always unique in how it affects them/progresses the story. especially in this instance, where tanjirou's encouragement manifests from suppressed memories of mui's father

like omg . i love the eerie stillness of this page . how the dialogue is obviously referencing some (at the time, unknown) memory, and how that disbelief is visually represented by the way he's suspended in the water. everything slows down around this moment, it's so pretty. so calm and quiet as mui cycles through his final thoughts. i like how his mist breathing ties into his amnesia and how its imagery is specific to these moments (as w the pic below)

what rly stands out though is that . through all of this, muichirou admonishes his own weakness and sees it as a detriment or character flaw. something to be avoided. but its weakness, kotetsu's weakness specifically, that saves him in the end

its so small and so like. normal in comparison to the hashira's breath techniques, that its simplicity gives it power.

this panel ^ is one of my favs for that exact reason. its soo.. soo!!!!!!! oifdjjgd i love it so much. like i love how it ties back into kny's theme of like . finding strength in weakness. kotetsu is just a normal character all things considered but its through his willpower that muichirou survived; he didn't need any special technique or trick up his sleeve. it all goes back to what rengoku says abt the quality of human nature

or the conversations tanjirou shares with genya

i admire it soo much i love that kny operates on these emotions, and even more so the ones that are typically considered as "less than ideal". love and kindness are motivational, but they're not exclusive. anger, grief, weakness, etc. all have the immense power to bring people together and they hold with them important qualities of their own.

it just flows so well. i like how the same few panels can lead into many different trains of thought. for i see this and i think about rengoku and the principles he shared. i think about genya, kagaya, muichirou, nezuko, etc. i think about how intertwined all of these stories are. how tanjirou represented the person mui's father was, who muichirou wanted to be, and ultimately tried to become

and i like how they culminate in later parts of the story, especially ch.204

AHH idk i think sometimes i look too deep into it / assign meaning where perhaps there is none but. its not something i really get from other series, so im happy gotouge fills that specific niche. for u and i at least !! and thank u for listening to me as i go through it all again AAA it makes me so excited to talk about in detail, and its even nicer knowing u feel the same way about all of it. im rly happy you liked it and i hope u enjoy the rest of the seasons as they roll out 🥺️

[7wanderingpaws]

He Loves Love (3/3)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: solo singer! AU

Word count: 4K+

Warnings: none! just a playful Baek!

--- Please make sure to read the the notes at the end! ---

Masterlist

tags: @iloveagain​ @buttercupbbh​ @wooya1224​ @baekberrie​ (sorry if I left out someone? its been ages since i updated and I didnt know if its okay to tag those who commented on chap. 2 :( didnt want to be rude ><)

1 <<< 2 <<< 3

It was the day of the release. The release of his magazine cover.

The PR went… mad.

“Listen, sweetie, editor, I don't think we will have enough pieces. The damn thing is literally going to be sold out in a matter of hours.”

You received this call before lunch time. Lunch time was very early on in the day. So why was Baekhyun's magazine cover about to be sold out in the entirety of Korea on the same day of the release date?

“Erm, yeah about that. I am an editor, just like you said. You need to call the-”

“I know, I know,” she interrupted but there wasn't an inch of impatience in her voice. “What I am trying to say is - congratulations! You did a great job!”

It took you a moment to realize what she was saying, because she was right. Your participation in this issue was big; after all you took care of the props and settings and you were looking over his pictures during the photoshoot. Out of nowhere, your heartbeat sped up. “Oh, thank you! That's very kind of you, but I still need to improve a lot-”

In that moment, the happy ding! that never failed to make you all trembly and nervous, sounded on your desk.

Waiter: miss editor am I seeing correctly????? wowow ihavenowords

Waiter: did you just make me sell out your magazine?????? ihavenowords

Waiter: did you save yourself at least one piece??? huhuuhuhuuu ihavenowords ><

Waiter: i think someone just made themselves a good name in the mag industry ^^ congratulations!!!

Waiter: does that mean i will get to see you? hmmm maybe to give a congratulatory bouquet of flowers???? 🤭🤭🤭 🌹💐🌺

Biting your lip quickly to suppress the happy grin, you quickly attended to the phone call, chatting a bit more with the PR lady. Honestly, you didn't like to talk to them much as they were all over the place, too demanding and didn’t have a great understanding of a creative mind. Thankfully, you didn't have to deal with them too often.

It hadn't been that long since your last meeting with Baekhyun. His kisses on your cheek and one kiss on your forehead seemed to be still burning on your skin, sometimes making you drag the pad of your index finger over the mentioned places, needing some sort of closure from him that you had yet to receive. 

Texting now was a full on habit between you, causing you to become sad, disappointed and even anxious if he wouldn’t reply that soon, worried he changed his mind about you, and his feelings towards you. Because even though you admitted to him that you liked him, he was being still very cautious, still very polite with you, as if there was some sort of invisible line between you two that he was scared to cross, for some reason.

Trying to look at it from his point of view, there were many risks of him wanting a relationship with you, and you couldn't not agree. If anything, you were being thankful for his thoughtfulness and carefulness, for if he messed up even the tiniest bit around you and your secret meetings of a blooming start of a relationship, he would not see the end of the hate, and neither would you. Heck, his career was on the line.

You managed to reply to his playful messages that went on and on, before you would have to dive into another cover magazine plan that you had to start thinking through.

Me: I think I should congratulate YOU! the most wanted man in Korea it seems ;)

Me: these days i have some important meetings… an upcoming cover… im definitely doing overtime today :( when is it good for you? I will try to arrange my schedule with yours

Waiter: ohoh the most wanted man you say? i wonder if the one i want wants me just as much…….???

Waiter: i would like to see you more often before my album drops, you know i will get quite busy and not seeing you for too long doesnt seem to work well with me anymore ><

Waiter: sooo… i will come pick you up from work tonight just shoot me a msg *^

Just as his messages could make your heartbeat go into a crazy overdrive, it seemed he could also make it completely stop. Or so you thought. His flirting and now his proposal to pick you up gave you a huge shock. That would be a first for sure.

Me: sure! have your phone with you Mr Korea

Me: I wonder too if that person wants you as much ;)

You decided not to pay him any more attention after that as much as you were tempted. Your belly was levitating along with your body, feeling high on vitamin Baekhyun. Pressing down the urge to tease him, you put your phone away, your hands slightly trembly from the attention you kept receiving from someone like him.

If your predictions were even close to correct, you wanted to tell him: yes, the one that he wanted, wanted him just as much.

…

You were fast to leave your work that day. Excited butterflies were eating your insides away, and the only way to make them calm down was to finally meet the person who always made their wings flutter.

Baekhyun was already parked in the underground parking lot, his car the only one with the motor on - and the only car of his class. You spotted him sitting in his car in his white jersey shirt, his left elbow propped on the windowsill as his index finger was stuck between his teeth, gnawing at it. When he saw you, he took a double-take and quickly changed his posture which made you giggle.

Baekhyun was following you with his eyes, going even to the length of leaning in over the passenger seat so as not to lose sight of you until he reached over and opened the passenger door for you so you could slide in.

“Why, thank you,” you smiled cheerfully as you sat down. You closed the door and put your bag down in between your legs.

“My pleasure,” he said back with a pleasant smile. “Hand me the bag, I'll put it in the backseat.”

You quickly did as he asked and then reached for your seatbelt.

“How was work today? We should celebrate!” he exclaimed as he put the car into drive and made his way out of the parking lot.

You hummed, gnawing on your lip. “That would be wonderful,” you said but hesitated about offering anything further. It was difficult to read the situation; you wouldn't know what you could afford to do with him and what not; what would be stepping over the line and what wouldn't. But Baekhyun said he liked you. In fact, he even told you to look at him like at any other man. That meant you shouldn't doubt all the possible hang-out ideas you had, right?

“I think it is you who deserves a gift,” you murmured and stole a look at his concentrated face. You reached the outside now, the dark evening slowly changing into night, the light of passing cars illuminating your faces.

“Hmm, I think so, too. Something in lines of - I can pick whatever I want, huh?”

Hiding your smile behind your hand, you nodded. “Yes, I can grant something. But don't make it expensive. Even though you sold out our magazine, it doesn't mean I will get a pay rise right away.”

“Oh, it won't include any monetary value,” he promised and turned to look at you when he stopped at the red light, the line in front of you seemingly going on for at least a mile. “It would be something you can and should be able to do freely.”

Despite the darkness of the car, Baekhyun could still spot that gorgeous, astounding blush colouring your cheeks. He really grew to love it; to make you so flustered you couldn't help but grow all red, just for him. “What do you think?” he asked quietly, still observing you with a small lopsided smile.

First you looked at your connected hands in your lap and then looked up at him through your lashes. “Depends what it is, but I owe you, so…” you trailed off.

He chuckled quietly, causing your heart to skip a beat before he started driving again, the line in front slowly moving. “Wonderful.”

Within forty-five minutes, you found yourself seated in a Korean restaurant, both yours and Baekhyun's shoes left at the entrance. Baekhyun, knowing the owner, asked for a separate room where people usually held business dinners, to ensure you would have full privacy and could enjoy each other.

It was a bit mind-blowing how much he could just do. His authority was admirable but at the same time it reminded you how you could hardly compare. If you would have asked the owner to give you a separate room, you might have had to fight for it or give him some money. Baekhyun seemed to walk in like a prince, confidently talking to people as if it was so natural.

“Can you give me a moment?” he asked suddenly, already standing up. “I forgot something in the car. Choose a meal until then.”

You nodded and saw him shuffling towards the door. Quickly going through the menu, you were thankful it was just an ordinary Korean restaurant that specializes in noodle soups and wasn't pricey. Picking the one that seemed the most special, you put the menu away just in time for Baekhyun to return back. His right hand was behind his back, obviously hiding something.

He had a sheepish smile on his face as he stepped towards you and handed you a beautiful bouquet of colourful flowers, the smell of which instantly hit your nose. You felt your mouth stretch into a wide smile as you stood up to your feet.

“Oh my god, what is this for, Baekhyun?” you asked, looking up into his eyes just to find them sparkling with anticipation.

“I know I never asked you out on an official date, so I might not be dressed up to my best potential, but I really wanted to give you something and today, as I said, I wanted to give you a bouquet. Please, accept it,” he added breathily, watching you with bated breath, nudging the flowers out to you.

You giggled and he smiled right away as you took the bouquet in your hand, careful as to not hold his fingers that were still curled around the stems. “Thank you.”

As you wanted to pull back, he leaned in, grabbing your wrist gently that was holding the flowers, bringing you closer. His lips hovered over your cheek and he eventually pressed them there. “Good job on your first cover,” he murmured and leaned away the slightest to watch your surprised reaction. Your eyes were watching his mouth and he had to restrain himself from going any further. He didn't want to cross the line. Not yet.

Unfortunately, you had to separate when the doors opened and the waiter came in. She was taken aback for the slightest of moments when she noticed you and Baekhyun backing away from each other but both of you recovered quickly and sat down, ready to order.

“This Vietnamese noodle soup is my favourite,” mentioned Baekhyun, looking at you. “So that is your gift to me - eating my favorite food with me.”

…

It was late June, the beginning of the most humid weeks of the year with the monsoon season around the corner.

Baekhyun became so busy with the release of his album back in May, that you rarely got to see him afterwards, although he made sure to see you a couple of times per week even if he was on the verge of falling asleep. Besides meeting, you were always chatting on the phone, him updating you about his daily schedules while you would mostly talk and send pictures about the same old stuff - your office, your computer screen or your late lunch. Or a selfie. You were on that basis now, despite a first kiss never happening.

It made you think sometimes if you were the one who was supposed to make the first move. If you grew eager to finally feel him in that way, then he must have also had some similar feelings, right? You had been dying to kiss him since the first time he said he liked you. And it was late June now.

Late June meant that the music awards show was happening just this particular night. Baekhyun had been texting you eager messages to double-check that you would really be attending like you told him you would.

While you quickly looked yourself over in the mirror in your office - you worked even today, a Saturday - you checked your phone's screen, seeing the previews of his messages.

Waiter: finally our schedules overlap ❤️ Waiter: i cant actually believe it  Waiter: huhuhuhu missy are you done with preparing? im curious to see.... Waiter: its just that it would be difficult to do so without it…

Hastily checking your earrings, you read the previews with a large smile. It would be an exciting night.

When you arrived at the event along with your colleagues, you couldn't help feeling clammy from the excitement. The possibility of spotting Baekhyun was making you sick with anticipation. It wasn't even the amount of people attending the event, it was just him; just the idea that he was somewhere there and hopefully he was looking for you just like you were looking for him.

Your colleagues hurried to sit down as the ceremony was about to start. Since you were busy in the office, you ended up leaving the headquarters much later than planned, but there was nothing you could do about it anymore.

The lights dimmed just when you made yourself comfortable, making it too difficult to look around and recognize faces. Deciding to quickly check the messages you didn't have time to look at before, you finally saw what Baekhyun was bombarding you so much about.

Waiter: finally our schedules overlap Waiter: i cant actually believe it Waiter: huhuhuhu missy are you done with preparing? im curious to see how you look so you could send me a selfie and so then i can recognize you at the event hm? without having to stare everywhere and become suspicious Waiter: its just that it would be difficult to do so without it sooooo ????? Waiter: yah!! where did you go?? Waiter: ex...excuse me? ehm ehm!!! Waiter: wow okay… Waiter: Y/N … disappeared... Waiter: i guess you are busy >< im arriving at the venue soon update me so i know where you attttttt okiiii??? ㅎㅅㅎ

You hid your smile behind your hand and quickly typed him a message to update him like he demanded. You couldn't send a selfie anymore because of the silly lights and your superiors being at the same table, you couldn't afford to be on your phone all the time. Hyeri, as much as she was kind, didn't like it when the job was not done properly, so you made sure to pay attention to the performances while you felt your phone vibrate with messages most probably from Baekhyun.

You bit your lip to keep in the smile, your heart fluttering. How was he able to be this… gorgeous even through messages? How was he able to make your heart beat frantically even when he was not around you? Unknowingly, your desire for him grew by tenfold, the sudden urge to meet him almost overtaking your actions, but one strict stare from Hyeri and you stopped squirming in your chair as you realized you did with a horrified look. Wow. You had to do something about this, and it had to be very soon.

To your big misfortune, you never spotted Baekhyun until it was his turn to overtake the stage. As much as you expected something huge, it was anything but that. No props, just a simple mic stand and then, a Baekhyun in a ready-to-go-for-a-date look, plus four dancers and he was able to fill the huge stage to the brim with his presence. That was it. Simple as that.

You inhaled his entire performance, the loud screamings of crazy fans not enough to pull you out of your reverie that consisted of Byun Baekhyun and Byun Baekhyun only. His movements, so sharp yet so smooth, his flirting with the camera, his lip bites, and that crazy happy smile; all of it. He was changing images from lethal sexy, through lazily suggestive, then sweetly gorgeous until becoming cute and ready to pet on the head. Without anything more to add, he had each flavor of a candy to offer and you had never been this addicted to candies in your life.

...

You met him accidentally when you were leaving the toilets that were meant for the VIPs. Closing the door behind you, you felt its cold surface press to your bare back when Baekyun appeared in front of you, freezing momentarily when he recognized you.

He smiled instantly, happy to finally see you, before he let his eyes wander. Finally, he let you know that he was looking. Oh he was. Your dress was revealing on the back, which he had yet to witness, but the front was completely covered, hugging your chest and waist, telling Baekhyun that there was something to look at for sure. The long, wavy skirt that stopped just above the floor was bunched up in your hand, showing sparkly high-heeled shoes that were the cause of the pain in your ankles.

None of you said a word as you took a note of his fancy suit, the simple stage outfit now gone. It was fully black, but once again you couldn't comprehend how broad his shoulders and chest were despite his shirt that was tucked into his pants being black, too.

“Good performance,” you broke the silence finally, meeting his somewhat eager gaze. “I have to admit, I was swooning with the other girls, too.”

That got Baekhyun's attention. His eyebrow rose in question and he stepped closer but not before making sure there were no prying eyes in the small corridor. His body covered yours from anyone, were you to be disturbed. “Oh, were you, really?”

You nodded, your smile teasing. “Yeah.”

He smiled gently, his gaze running over your features that were touched up with make-up. “I'm glad. If I wanted to impress someone, it was you.”

“You did that a long time ago,” you admitted shyly, averting your eyes so he wouldn't catch you shyness.

You heard him letting out a laugh through his nose. “So cute,” he muttered, stepping even closer. “I have to run back but let me drive you home tonight.”

His words made your head snap up though you weren't that much smaller from him anymore thanks to the heels. His words ignited something inside of you. “You came with your car?”

“I asked my friend to bring it over to the venue,” he said. “I am not going back to my company after this. I finally found you here and-” he sighed softly, shaking his head as he looked at you, “I want to spend some time with you. Alone.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, his look making you all itchy and needy. Without much thinking, you found yourself nodding a tad too eagerly which made Baekhyun smile. “Alright,” you whispered, “text me. But I can't leave before my superiors do.”

“Can I just steal you?”

Giggling, you shook your head and suppressed the need to hold his hand. “I'm afraid no. But I will try my best to get out of it quickly.”

His smile was so gentle as he nodded slowly, closing his eyes for a second before stepping even closer, his fingertips running over your clothed forearm in the most feather-like way. “Okay. I'll be waiting for you,” sweetheart.

…

The car came to a complete stop in front of your small apartment building. Audi had quite the silent engine anyway, but now with it being turned off, you felt like silence had a physical form and was growing in on you, making the tension between you and Baekhyun the more difficult to withstand.

Given his silence, you knew that you should say something, and you also knew what you were supposed to do. It was now or never. “Would you maybe… like to come in?”

He glanced over, checking your expression to see if you were serious. He parted his lips but hesitation stole the words away from him. You chuckled when he opened his mouth again and smiled abashedly. “'I’d love to.”

Oh my god, you thought as the both of you made your way towards your apartment. In panic, you tried to quickly think over what state you left your flat in exactly, but it seemed that your mind was clogged up, unable to come up with anything that could possibly explain what was happening in that very moment. Byun Baekhyun, the superstar, was coming inside your apartment. And he seemed to be rather quiet.

Was he overthinking this? Maybe he would realise this was all a mistake and that you weren't good enough for him. Maybe you did something off-putting today?

As you were typing in the code to your house, you felt his strong presence behind you, his gaze on your naked back, and you swore the tension just grew even more when you let him enter your little safety den first. Surely, it was no luxury like he must have been used to by then, given the many years of singing career, but you could only hope it would be enough.

You had been far too gone for him. If he were to dump you, you might end up hurt and heartbroken. 

Letting the door close behind you, you wanted to follow him only to see him standing just a couple of steps ahead of you, looking into the apartment but not moving further inside. “You can enter, Baekyhun.”

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he said softly out of nowhere, catching you off guard with his honest words. Letting them sink in, you bit your lip, feeling your heartbeat accelerate again. It wasn't possible to get a heart attack, right? 

He was standing in front of you while your back was pressed to the front door you just closed behind you. “Thank you,” you whispered, matching his intimate tone and feeling like you were about to combust. “You look really handsome tonight.” And everyday.

He smiled, which you couldn't see as he still had his back on you. Just then, he turned and with that pleasant expression on his face made those separating two steps towards you until he stood right in front of you, causing you to look up. “Thank you.”

You nodded, feeling the terrible blush creeping up into your cheeks. Actually your entire body was suddenly on a heat wave, feeling the prickles of sweat to form under your dress as he stared at you affectionately. God, you wanted him so much it was really becoming unbearable.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You just asked one,” you replied mischievously, grinning, just to be rewarded with a wide smile from him as he stepped even closer, your heart clenching painfully. Was it the chemistry that was so painful?

“Cheeky,” he whispered, his breath almost hitting your cheek. You kept his eye contact before you nudged him with a go on.

What, do you want to kiss me on the cheek again? you desperately wanted to ask, to tease him. Or would this finally be it? Would he finally just... kiss you? 

“May I kiss you, sweetheart. On the lips.” His intonation was far from that of a question. He was so hot, goodness. And your knees were suddenly jelly-like as you couldn’t stop staring into his eyes when you nodded.

He let out a breathy laugh when he almost pressed his body into yours. Almost. “You don’t like to confirm things out loud with me, do you, beauty?”

“Yes, you may kiss me, Baekhyun. Please, just finally kiss me.”

It was almost as if he wouldn't wait for your approval anyway, as he was leaning in before your words even left your mouth, his hands coming to gently rest against the door; caging you in, yet making you feel even more safe. He was carefully watching your features as he pressed his lips to yours, one hand coming to cradle your face gently before he finally captured your upper lip and you melted. 

Closing your eyes, you sighed as you let your hands slide up his toned chest and around his neck when he pressed himself into you just a little bit closer, a very much satisfied hum coming out of his throat that sent shock waves down your body. That deadly hum. It could really do anything to you, it was that attractive to you.

You dared to run your fingers through his hair that had gel in it, but still felt so cutely soft under your touch. You played with his pillows, prolonging the gentle sucking as you dragged his lower lip towards you, feeling the wetness of his mouth. He leaned in as you separated for the slightest of moments, tilting his head to the other side, unconsciously making one step closer so you felt him on your chest and the surface of the door on your back.

Smooch after smooch, you soon realized he was a loud kisser that liked the licking sounds and the responses from you as you breathed out softly while his thumb caressed your blushed cheek.

Another loud smooch, and this time he was the one who dragged your lower lip towards him with his teeth, as he bumped his nose with yours, tilting his head to the opposite side again while both of his hands cradled your face with utmost care.

Eventually, he kissed you one last time, ending it with him pressing his forehead to yours, not opening his eyes just yet. You didn’t either, relishing in the lingering feeling of him around your mouth as his warm pants pushed in through your parted lips. Slowly, he nuzzled your nose and you giggled softly which prompted him to open his eyes to meet yours already on him.

“That was better than I could ever imagine,” he whispered and smiled handsomely.

You blushed even more, if that was possible. “Ditto.”

His eyes widened and he leaned away a bit. “Don’t tell me you fantasized about kissing me?”

You shrugged but didn’t meet his eye. “How could I not? I’m a human, aren’t I? And you know I like to be straightforward.”

He smirked, knowingly nodding to himself. “Oh yeah, right. The straightforward business.”

You chuckled. “You’re too good of a kisser.”

“Only the best for you,” he winked and those words made you feel things. Before you could reply, he blurted: “Can I be your boyfriend?”

Smiling widely, you nodded, feeling absolutely elated. This was really happening. “Yes, you can be my boyfriend, Baekhyun.”

He sweeped you in his arms, bringing you in for another kiss. “That means,” he murmured between the kisses, “that I can kiss you just like that. And I can finally call you sweetheart,” he breathed the nickname before opening his mouth and devouring you, showing how passionate of a kisser he could be.

You never doubted him, of course, but in situations like these, reality was always better than your poor imagination, for your brain could never produce the exceptional feeling of having Byun Baekhyun’s lips on yours, feeling the moisture and his playful tongue, his creativity of teasing you with it astonishing. No. Nothing could ever compare.

There was only one Byun Baekhyun and he was a superstar. Off-limits to almost everyone. But not to you. Not anymore.

--- --- --- --- ---

A/N: And that is the end! This is the final part, so with this, I am also saying goodbye to this story that made my heart flutter a wee bit... ^^ Thank you to whomever sent me support via comments/reblogs, dms, I was glad this story could bring something enjoyable to the table! ❤   

--- As you know, these 3 chapters were supposed to be about how our characters met and became a couple. So I hope I delivered well! I know I put the M sign in the beginning way back in May, but while plotting, I realized it wasnt suitable for these 3 parts. It would take me more chapters to write to bring it to that point (hint: if you request it as a standalone oneshot later, I am willing to write it but otherwise it would need more relationship building). 

I hope this explains it! 

Thank you again!

Please let me know what you thought, it would mean a lot and its free!

CuriousCat Ask box is also open! Or comments!💕

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[fateology]

the poem you wrote for Laika made me cry really hard, and I don't want you taking that as a bad thing. im very empathetic to the point it's bad for me sometimes, and the pictures you posted of her and your dog reminded me of mine exactly. she had cocked ears and ate bees she found in the yard. it's both so sad but respectful; the poem you wrote. it helps me remember her again.

hello and thank u for this msg i think about you and your dog a lot now..she sounds like she was lovely! i’m happy to hear the poem conveyed right because it’s been a couple years since i wrote it actually. as for the pictures of mine i WAS kinda astounded comparing her as a younger dog to laika because they looked so much alike! now that she’s older it’s not evident, but i like to think that if laika herself had had the years for her fur to go white, she might maybe look just like my dog now..ghost of a special astronaut is stored in the modern day canine

here’s even more because Look At Her. from left to right: her requesting her court muses to play her a tune on the piano/her begging for food/her in my lap

[violetnotez]

SHE IS HERE. PART TWO. BY EXTREMELY POPULAR AND LATE DEMAND!!!!

This fic. THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. HAS BEEN FIGHTING SO HARD I AM DONE THIS HAS BEEN A STRUGGLE. If there are typos I AM SORRY- just msg me and ill fix it if its that bad im just tired!

Kirishima x reader

⤷Genre: Angst, Fluff

⤷Word Count: 9k+ (-this has the weekly prompt for the @bnhabookclub​ discord -“Im fine” :)

⤷ Warnings: slight mentions of blood, cursing, suggested spicyness at the end

⤷ Synopsis: It’s been exactly 3 months since the last time Kirishima saw you, after you had abruptly ended things with him. He’s been trying to forget you, but it’s no use-he’s still madly in love with you, and wishes he could get the truth of why you two ended. What a shocker when he gets a chance to ask his questions-and he learns the truth about your villainous life.

Song Recs: ⤷ “Breakeven”-The Script ⤷ “Lucid Dreams”- Juice WRLD ⤷ “Scars”- Lukas Graham

PART 1

Kirishima looked up at his calendar, a sad sigh escaping his lips. 

That number shouldn’t be such a big deal, that plain black “11” tiny and insignificant next to all the other digits, like little ants stationary on the page.

What it represented, though, was so much more: that day so many weeks ago was so full of heartache and misery, the feeling of being lied to eating at his core for days to come. 

Today, 3 months ago, was the day you confessed to him that you didn’t love him. 

Kirishima has never felt so betrayed and heartbroken in his whole life: you were his first real love after all, and hearing you say your love was a lie destroyed him.

He didn’t know what to do or how to even react to that news: he had felt so numb after, so incredibly empty, it was like he was a walking shell of himself once he left your room.

His friends had tried to cheer him up constantly, always putting in the effort to lift his spirits with laughter and comfort. But the warmth of their attempts of cheering him up didn’t help him at all: he always still felt so cold inside.

It also didn’t help that you had mysteriously left UA the day after the “breakup.” When Kirishima laid his tired puffy eyes on your empty desk the next day, his heart couldn’t help but beat feverishly. He knew he shouldn’t care that you were gone, but he couldn’t help it. No matter which way he spun it, He was still desperately falling for you, even if you had broken his heart. 

He had sat down, his back slumped as he eyed that empty seat with worry. 

How had everything gone so wrong? 

He couldn’t fathom what had gone stray-your love  had honestly felt so real to him. You had told him you had only dated him out of pity-but if somebody was being forced to do something, just to spare someone’s feelings, would they have given him his first kiss so perfectly, making sure to be soft and gentle? Would they have stuck with him late into the night to help study for tests? Or give him sweet kisses on his scars when he was feeling self conscious? 

It just didn’t add up-the feelings you two had were genuine and real. It couldn’t all be one sided like you had said.

He gave another look to that chair, just imagining the ghost of you sitting there, turning around and sending him that infectious smile that light up his whole day.

God, it wasn't even one whole day and he felt so incomplete without you.

Mr. Aizawa walked in, everyone scrambling to their seats and watching him intently, the room getting noticeably more quiet.

He didn’t remember much of that class-he had remembered Mr.Aizawa standing at the front of the class, his deep voice breaking his miserable thoughts when he said the class would be free of one student.

You had seemingly left in the middle of the night, your guardians notifying the school you would no longer be attending UA due to you moving. All of Class 1-A was incredibly confused, including Kirishima- you had never said you were moving, yet you somehow were just gone. As if you never existed.

It just didn’t add up to Kirishima-you would have said something about moving, or at least acted strange the weeks prior. All these events just didn’t make sense to Kirishima-the break up, your confession, you leaving-it all just didn’t add up. But he was too tired, too wrecked inside to think about it anymore. The more he tried to piece the story together the more it gnawed at him, making him feel so much more worse than he already felt. He slumped in his chair, knowing full well everyone was staring at him-you were his boyfriend after all, he should have known.

Oh wait-ex.

He slumped in his chair even more, barely the tips of his spiky red hair poking up from the desk table.

It was gonna be a long few weeks for him, he could already feel it.

Now he was past all those days of crying and breaking over you-some days he could actually forget about you and not have to worry. But on days that were permanently etched into his mind, like today, he couldn’t help but remember. 

Kirishima's phone began to ring, the vibration of the call making the phone jitter against the wood of his desk. He tore himself away from the calendar, his hands instantly swiping to take the call once he saw the Caller ID.

“Hey Fat, how's it going!” Kirishima forced a smile, his voice preppy and bright as if nothing had ever happened.

“Kirishima, thanks for taking the call,” his mentor seemed to breathe a sigh of relief hearing his bright voice on the other end.

Since Kirishima was in his 3rd year, he was required to do another work study, for an even longer period of time than before. So when he was asked by Fatgum to come join the agency once again, he couldn’t help but say no. He had loved his old mentor back from his 1st year, even if he did get pretty banged up at the end of his work study. He was more than happy to join his agency again, and wanted nothing more to learn and grow to be the best hero he could be.

“I know this is pretty late in the day for you,” Fatgum continued, “but I’m going to need your help,”

“Tamaki was supposed to be patrolling on the West side of town tonight, but he got called in to help with a robbery on the North side. I don’t have anybody else to take his place, so I was hoping you could take over his shift for the night,”

“Of course! I’ll do anything you need,” Kirishima propped his phone into the crook of his neck, already rummaging around his room for his hero suit.

“You're a lifesaver Kirishima!” Fatgum exclaimed, the toothy grin he was most likely sporting practically audible.“See ya for training tomorrow then!”

“You too, Fat,” Kirishima's cheerful tone waned, a sad smile replacing his bright grin as he stared down at his hero suit.

He had already known today was going to be a tough day for him, and the fact that he was off from any type of hero work that would make him forget about his sadness didn’t help. 

But now that Fatgum has given him a job tonight, he might be able to erase his mind of all the past heart ache for the next few hours. He gave himself a small smile, his hero suit beckoning him to put it on, the reds and blacks calling to him like ghosts from a dream.

He was gonna at least try to forget-just for the night.

It was now an hour before the end of his shift, and he was feeling practically tired.

The West side of town was relatively quiet, nowhere near the crime riddled areas of the North side of the city boulevard. He knew these streets well from patrolling them almost every night of his hero study, knowing each alleyway and path like the back of his hand. 

Tonight was silent, only a few late night joggers or the occasional fast food joint open for any customers getting the late night munchies. 

It was soft, provincial, and bitter sweet. 

He was trying his best to not remember, to not remember your face, or your smile, or the way you would laugh so warmly whenever he did something amusing. He was trying not to imagine you standing by his side, your hand grabbing his and your shoulder resting  on his, a happy sigh escaping your lips. 

Why were still haunting him, even three months later? 

why couldn’t he just forget about you? 

A crash and a yell snapped Kirishima out of his memory, an angry scream of a teen being heard from the late night restaurant. 

He shook his head to rid himself of those unwanted thoughts, noticing a black figure running across the parking lot into an alleyway at lightning speed.

“That-that Villian!” She shrieked, her friends trying to soothe her as she continued on her rampage, “She stole my wallet! My damn wallet! The hell-“

“Don’t worry ma’am, I’ll get it back for you, don’t worry!” He yelled towards the group, his voice warm and assuring as he sent her a toothy grin. His feet began pounding the pavement, disappearing into the alleyway in the direction of the criminal.

Your breath came out in painful huffs, your hand fumbling to put the wallet into the jacket of your Villian suit. 

Damn Shigaraki and his “plans.”

Shigaraki has now concocted up his next bright idea  for the League, this time relying on you stealing an ID card from a college student that looked similar to you. 

While the LOV was going off stealing a bank for some extra cash, you were told to go find someone who looked similar to you in order to pass as them. for what you had no idea, but you knew Shigaraki would be extremely mad with you if you didn’t do what he asked. You shivered at the thought of him, those cold red eyes like bloody daggers ripping into your flesh. 

You slowed to a stop, your breath coming out in pants as you pulled down the mask on your face, your breath finally free from the constricting fabric.

God you hated running.

Nobody seemed to be following you though, footsteps inaudible to your ears. You slinked into a dark corner of the alleyway, your hands rummaging inside the wallet for the ID card you desperately needed.

Cash, credit card, a picture of her and possibly her boyfriend,a shit ton of gift cards-

You breathed a sigh of relief, flicking out the desired card with a flourish. In the low light conditions you were in, it was hard to see her details, but you knew that it matched your complexion just enough to pass by.

Thank God, now Shigaraki wouldn’t be on your ass-

“Hey, it’s not cool to steal, man,” you heard a familiar voice echo throughout the concrete walls of the alleyway, making your blood run cold.

Shit, please not be him, anybody but him-

You instantly tugged your mask over your mouth and nose, praying to God it wasn’t him.

Maybe it was another hero, or somebody that just resembled him-

“Just give me back what you stole, and nothing bad will happen to ya,” Kirishima continued, his footsteps slow and solemn as he walked over to you, as if you were a wounded animal that could attack at any moment.

You shoved the wallet hastily into your jacket pocket, looking around, desperate for a way out.

Damn it-you were completely blocked from the back, a tall cement wall blocking your escape. The only way for you to get out was to somehow dodge Kirishima and make a run for it, or fight him.

God definitely had his favorites, and it obviously wasn’t you.

This boy was so quiet-all that hero training made him extremely agile, like a cat going forward it’s prey  as he continued to walk towards you cautiously. 

It was a shock to see him-he looked so much older, his handsome face making your heart squeeze painfully. He still sported his iconic red hair to match his suit, the only thing really changing was the amount of scars on his body. When you two had dated, you were so close to him you knew every valley, ditch, and scar on his body like your own.

He was getting stronger and tougher, growing to his goal while you were stuck in your life, still just a little pawn in Shigarakis decaying hands.

You didn’t feel like fighting him-you still felt guilty for the way you had ended things with him, even though it was weeks after. You knew it had to be done in order to protect him, but you also knew it had hurt him to the point of no return.

 He had to have hated you now, and honestly, you didn’t blame him-it just hurt to know you lost a love you still felt. And it was your fault.

Kirishima watched your every move, not suspecting a thing-you were just another thug, another puny Villain he had to take down. Even though it was decent fun to take a criminal down, dealing with witnesses, the police, and paperwork was quite the opposite. But it’d get his mind off of his own misery.

The Villain seemed strange though-as if they were terrified by the mere sight of him. They weren’t even trying to bad mouth him, which was a definite first for him. It was hard to see in the dark alleyway, but he could make out the outline of the thief trying to quickly dodge him, trying to break into a run to get out of the cramped dead end.

Kirishima swiftly grabbed the arm of their leather jacket, pulling your squirming body close to his.

You were screaming internally-he needed to let go, he had to let go. Your heart felt like it was ripping apart, the sudden memories flooding your body as you remembered how it felt to be so close to him, to be so intimate you could see the flecks of brown in his vermillion red eyes. You didn’t want him to realize it was you, to see you as his enemy yet again. You couldn’t bear to see the heartbreak and disappointment in his eyes, your hands clawing to get away.

“Hey-just calm down a little-“ he huffed out, the words separated as he tried to keep a hold on your body.

It was strange to him though-you weren’t even talking, not a peep was spilling out of your lips. You seemed pretty young, and by your smaller frame, you were most likely female. You seemed 

so scared, your eyes bright with desperation and fright. 

His larger hands kept you close to him, his heart pinging with hurt-

There was no way this was you. He was going crazy-those weren’t your eyes.

But God, they looked so familiar-your eyes looked exactly like that the day you two broke up. Full of fear and sadness and guilt-

This wasn’t you, this couldn’t be you, but-if it was-

With one hand firmly wrapped your waist and another shakily reaching toward your mask, your body fighting desperately to get him to stop. Even through your attempts, he pulled the material gently off your skin, The flimsy black mask falling to the ground pitifully. your face looking down at the ground with embarrassment, now knowing your cover was blown.

Kirishima's heart beat painfully-it was you, this was you.

What had happened?

“Y-y/n?” He stuttered out, his voice caught pitifully in his throat.

You swallowed thickly, trying to shove the dry ball of embarrassment down your throat.

“H-hi Kiri,” 

He quickly let go of you, his body blocking your exit as he stared at you in disbelief.

You looked so different, so unlike you-you were wearing a completely black outfit, the material shiny like wet rocks near a dark river. Your hair was pulled back painfully tight, your eyes looking down at your scuffed combat boots in despair.

You looked so defeated and so sad, as if there was no happiness left in your body.

Who even were you?

“What happened to you? Why are stealing? Where have you even been?” He bombarded you with questions, his voice getting more and more authoritative and desperate as questions flooded his mind.

You couldn’t even think to comprehend an answer to any of them-you just needed to forget this encounter ever happened. For your and Kirishima’s sanity and, most importantly, safety.

“Just let me go Kirishima,” you dodged his question, taking a step forward to push your way out of the alleyway.

Kirishima's body was bigger and stronger though, and with each shuffle you attempted he would close the gap between you two, blocking your escape solely with his body.

“No, I-I need answers y/n,” he replied. His voice sounded so hurt, so full of anguished you felt your heart break a little more. He was still hurting, and now he was confused, seeing you all dressed up and committing crimes like a low level Villian. 

“I need to know what happened to you.”

You faulted in your step, staring at Kirishima with wide, mournful eyes. You made yet another attempt to surpass him, your shoulder a mere centimeters away from his as you tried to walk past him.

“Nothing happened Kirishima, please just let me-“

If you thought you were going to leave that easily, you were crazy. 

He swiftly grabbed your arm, his calloused hands rough against the leather of your jacket. Even through the thick material you could feel how warm he was-he always radiated such heat and brightness.

“Why did you leave UA?” He was abrupt with his question, but the hint of softness faltered his harsh exterior-he was still worried for you.

A deep sigh cascaded from your lips, your brow starting to sweat. You were tired of dealing with this heavy burden, this spider web of lies you had created for your own self. You still loved Kiri, yes, but your relationship was over and done. There was really no fear of judgement anymore. Hell, he just saw you steal a wallet like a low level thug-how much more could he judge you in this moment?

“You want the truth Kiri?” Your voice was blunt, and monotone, a shield from your true emotions. 

“You want to know who I really am? I-I’m a Villian. I work for the LOV. I only went to UA because I had to listen to Shigaraki. He needed info and I was the only one to do it.”

You sneaked a peek at Kirishima's face, a slight grimace on your lips as you anticipated the look of disgust on his face. Your heart thumped painfully, waiting for him to look at you with revulsion, but-it never came. His bright vermillion eyes still stared down at you softly, his eyes coated with worry and sympathy. 

“So-you were being forced?”

“At first I wanted to do it-b-but after I while, I started to change my mind,” 

he was so warm, his body heat seeping into your cold skin like a fire on a winter's night. Even now, in this dark alley, exactly 3 months from your terrible breakup-he still could make you feel safe. He was your home in the snow storm, so warm and comforting when the rest of the world was so unforgiving and icy. You relished the feeling of his calloused palms on your body, wishing those hands were on your skin instead of your jacket so they could  slowly  warm your whole body with their wonderful  heat.

“Then why did you leave?”

You gulped, licking your lips tentatively. Did you really want to tell him the truth? Tell him how weak you truly were? You honestly didn’t, a part of you screaming to just feed him a lie that would satiate you both-but the thought of living with even more of a guilty conscience made your mouth go dry. He didn't deserve another lie-after all you did to him, Kirishima deserved the truth. 

“I-I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t want you to get hurt. If Shigaraki found out I was considering leaving the LOV, he would have done anything in his power to keep me.”

“You don’t know the League like I do. When I mean he would do anything-he would do anything-including killing.”

Kirishima's eyes momentarily widened, the brutal words cutting the air like a knife. It didn’t surprise him, though-he was a hero in training after all. He had been in too many dangerous run ins with villians-hell, he couldn’t even count how many times he could have died just in his first year at UA. Death was a recurring threat in Kirishima's life, and , for better or worse, it didn’t scare him as much as it used to.

“Kiri-I-I lied to you to keep you safe. You meant the world to me-You still do. I still think about you all the time, and I know you probably hate me, but I still love you. I never stopped.”

He watched your eyes turn down in shame, your head hanging low as if you were carrying a great burden. It was painstakingly obvious you were feeling guilty and remorseful, and his heart throbbed at the thought that of you being forced to continue on with this life. We all made dumb mistakes when we were younger-you shouldn’t have to keep the burden of your past decisions still. 

As much as he felt sympathy for you, he couldn't help but feel so happy that you still had feelings for him. No matter how he spun it, he still cared for you and loved you with all his heart-hearing The same thoughts come from you just made him fall for you even more.

He gingerly took your chin in his hands, his calloused digits lifting your sullen head in order for him to look at you fully. Even when you looked so downtrodden, you were absolutely beautiful to him, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“God, take the words right out of mouth, huh?”

Kirishima's heartbeat feverishly in his chest-what he was about to do was so incredibly risky, but he had to do it. Too many nights he spent dreaming and remembering you, the memories bitter sweet. Now that he had you in front of him, he was going to take any chance he could go get those sensations back in his life.

Kirishima placed his lips gently on yours, knocking the wind out of your lungs. You couldn’t breathe-it was like you were drowning on his essence-yet you couldn’t careless. Warmth filled your stomach, fueling all over your body like a hot flame. It was so comforting and surreal to be feeling this again, to have Kirishima's hot lips pressed against yours.

He parted from you, both of you buzzing with electricity. It was surprising how much truth that kiss held-it melted the cocoon you two had around your hearts, allowing you two to see how much you had truly missed each other.

“ Y/n, I miss you, I knew that night you said you didn’t love me, something wasn’t right,” he spoke, his breath fanning your lips gently. “I knew there was more than what you were letting on.”

Kirishima grabbed your arms suddenly, looking you square in the face with intense eyes.

“ Y/n, you should have left then and there! We would have protected you! I would have protected! I promise I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you-“

“Y/n, you need to leave them, please,”

You sighed, hating how quickly the air thickened with the remembrance of your current situation. 

“Kiri, I don’t want anybody to potentially get hurt because of my dumbass decisions, I’m fine, I can handle myself-“

“Y/n, no your not fine! Look at you-,”he motioned to your clothing and your sullen face, “this isn’t you at all! 

“Kiri, please, don’t give me false hope-“ you shoved him off, wrapping your arms around your body to protect yourself. If you didn’t get control of yourself, you would follow his words in a heartbeat. As much as you would love to run into the strong arms of Kirishima, for him to warm your numb body with his positive energy- you knew it was dangerous. You didn’t want anybody to get hurt over you.

“It isn’t false hope though….” He smiled sweetly at you, his hand stretched out to you, “please, just take my hand, Kay? Nothing bad will happen, I promise,”

You stared at him long and hard, your eyes wide with fear and uncertainty-he was so genuine, so warm, so forgiving. He wanted to help you, he was willing and ready. He wanted to fight the world with you by his side, to protect the people he needed to protect with his loving energy. Kirishima had a way of making you believe anything that came out of his mouth, and you were falling for his spell. You didn’t know if it was the shock from seeing him after so long, his kiss, or just from wanting to leave so badly, but you stretched out your hand, ready for him to take you away.

a cruel, scraggly voice boomed from the shadows, “He promises to keep his little love bird safe.”

“How touching.”

You two spun your heads around at the sound of the ominous voice, your blood running cold.

“Shigaraki,” you gasped out, your eyes glued onto your leader. 

He was smiling a sick grin, his expression sadistic and cruel as he stood in a few paces away from you two. He was clothed in his Villain suit, his clothes tattered and dark like the Grim Reaper himself.

 Spinner and Twice were standing close by, surveying the scene from above as Shigaraki sauntered to you two. Kirishima's expression instantly turned from softness to determination, his body instantly turning to shield yours.

“Oh no need to act so heroic hero,” he grinned, his tone sickeningly sweet life cough syrup.

“Just give us our comrade and we’ll be on our way.”

“You're not going anywhere with her!” Kirishima yelled, his quirk activating in his arm as he shielded you from Shigaraki. “She doesn’t want to be with you scumbags anymore!”

“I’d watch your tone if I were you, especially for trying to defend a spineless traitor like her.”

Kirishima's face turned red in anger, his whole body now turning as solid as a rock as he charged your former leader.

“You piece of-“ 

Shigaraki continued the sick grin plastered on his face as Spinner and Twice instantly jumped from their positions, grabbing Kirishima's arms and roughly slamming him into the nearby wall. You heard the air forces out of Kirishima's lungs, his face contorted in pain. Your heart felt as if it was getting stabbed as you watched Kirishima struggle against their holds.

“Kirishima!” You screamed, your body yelling at you to help him-but you knew you couldn’t take on those two by yourself, not even including Shigaraki.

You turned to the villainous man in front of you, your eyes pleading.

“Shigaraki, please, tell them to let him go-let him go!”

He took a step toward you, his footsteps ringing slowly like the ticks of an old clock.

“Oh, I will,” he replied, his voice low and sadistic, “-when you rejoin the League.

“ I’d kill you right now for being such a selfish brat if I didn’t need you-so take it as a gift. I’ll spare your life if you just come-“

“Never,” you spat at him, fear filling your stomach with your defiance. You were surprised to hear how steady your voice was, but the slight Tremble in your fists said otherwise.

“Fine then,” he smirked, “suit yourself-“

With a wave of his decaying hands, Spinner and Twice began to use their full force on Kirishima-punching, kicking, anything to torture him. He was trying his best to block them, even with his quirk-but they were quite strong, especially once Twice used his quirk to produce more of his own body. It quickly began evident that Kirishima was having a hard time to fight off the villains, his Stance slowly becoming weaker and weaker as his face began to bruise and his arm dusted with his own blood.

You were hopeless to just watch, watching your worst fear come to life-people we’re already getting hurt over you.

Anger filled your stomach, licking up your body like hot flames as you turned to charge Shigaraki, fire in your eyes.

“Stop it you crusty ass-“ you yelled out, your fists out as you tried to land a punch on the Villian.

He seemed to know your exact movements though, his hands harshly grabbing your wrists and mouth, colliding your body with his.

“I’d watch that mouth of yours if I were you, unless you want it to disintegrate-along with the rest of you-“

Shit.

You had momentarily forgotten about Shigaraki’s dangerous quirk-one wrong move and you could be a heap on the ground, nothing more. The fingers around your mouth were delicate, knowing full well you wouldn’t try and escape. They drummed playfully against your mouth, as if taunting you to do something foolish. You felt how cold he was, the feeling of his chapped skin on yours disgusting as he toyed with your life in his hands. 

It was all a game for him-and he was winning.

“Look at him-“ Shigaraki ordered, the grip around your mouth suddenly tightening as he twisted your head to face Kirishima's misery.  

“You caused this, y/n. All this pain, all this suffering. If you leave, he will be the first we target. Well slowly go after each and every person you have ever loved, until we finally come for you.”

“Now, you don’t want that, do you?”  He asked, his face tilting in order to see your answer. You forced yourself to not look at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the small tears running down your cheeks. 

All you could muster was a small shake of your head, the vibration of your movement going through Shigarakis finger tips.

Through the fists and clones he was trying to fight off, Kirishima could see you shaking your head, Shigaraki looking practically happy by your answer. A sinking feeling filled Kirishima's stomach as he saw your body language slouch in defeat. He Tried to call at you, to stop you from agreeing to whatever was coming out of Shigarakis lying lips, but at that moment one of the clones landed a solid punch to his stomach. Kirishima felt all the air leave out of his lungs , his knees wobbling and hitting the floor as his head spun from the pain.

Shigaraki still had his hold on you, watching how your face crumpled as you watched Kirishima fall and unable to help.

“Good, now, will you come and rejoin?” He asked one last time, motioning for his comrades to move away from Kirishima and back to their spot on the roof of the alleyway.

He knew now he had you under his finger, knowing the show he had just made you watched instilled enough fear for you to never leave his team again. He watched your eyes cower to give one last look at Kirishima's crumpled body, your shoulders tense with stress.

“I-I’ll rejoin the League,” you whispered out, feeling the hold Shigaraki had on you loosen. 

It was tearing you up inside to see Kirishima so bruised and hurt on the ground-you focused on the signs of him breathing, his broad chest rising and falling as he struggled to push himself back up. That small evidence gave you courage, your heart racing as you will yourself to continue with the plan you had secretly been concocting this whole time.

You grunted, a sly smirk erupting on your face.

“After I do this-“

You swiftly grabbed Shigarakis arm, twisting it in an excruciating position behind his back. He yelled out in pain, a string of curses filling the night as you rammed your fist into his chest, sending the air out of his lungs. He stumbled dramatically, dry coughs spewing out of his lungs as his knees hit the floor. 

“You no longer have power over me-none of you do,” you stood defiantly in that alleyway, watching your ex comrades stare at you in shock and awe. In all your time with the LOV, you had never defied them. Not once. You were always so obedient, which was why Shigaraki loved to have you around as a n asset to his team-you were so easy to keep around his finger. 

But now you were clearly being rebellious, your stony face telling the whole group you had changed-you didn’t give a damn about their threats and their rules anymore. You wouldn’t be coming back.

A burst of fear and extreme annoyance flooded Shigarakis' system, the pain of your kick aiding fuel to the flame. He growled, a curse directed at you dribbling from his lips as his thin legs wobbled his body weight up. His mouth opened to send you another string of curses, ready to unleash his full wrath on you for embarrassing him so much, until a characteristic siren filled the night air.

Kirishima propped himself onto his knees, a tried grin gracing his bruising lips.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you-“

His hand lifted, showing the whole group a small contraption in his hand. In the darkness of the alleyway it was hard to tell what it was, but it seemed Kirishima was holding a phone, a route to your location lighting up the screen.

“My mentor gave all us heroes-in-training a tracker, just in case we get into any trouble. While you were blabbering on about plans, I sent the heroes our location.”

Kirishima smiled triumphantly at the fearful faces of Shigaraki’s comrades, Shigarakis own fave contorted in rage. 

The sirens were slowly getting louder, the colors of blue and red dancing lightly against the stony walls of the alley way.

“So unless you wanna get caught by the heroes,” he added in, his tone surprisingly friendly, “ I suggest you go.”

Shigaraki seemed waver, trying to see if he could still get you back under the terrible circumstances. But the cops were practically here, the sounds of car doors slamming being heard. He had to admit it to himself-he lost this battle. He gave you one last scornful look, his bloody irises sending a shiver down your spine as he took off with his comrades, not leaving a trace.

You could already hear the police officers stepping out of their cars, fear flooding your stomach. Even though you had just defied the League, you were still a criminal. You had been doing illegal activities for months now-hell, you just stole a girls wallet 15 minutes ago and it was still in your damn pocket.

Even though a part of you was screaming for you to run as well, you fought off that flight response in order to help Kirishima off the floor.

His skin still feels warm, your hands making sure not to touch the tender parts of his skin from his fight. Even though he was smiling, you could tell he was in some pain. Your worst fear was already being realized-he got hurt over you. For you. You could never repay him for that, the guilt seeping into your core. 

“Kiri are you okay? Please tell me you are,” you pushed out, the tone of your voice desperate and pleading. “I’m so sorry-“

Kirishima looked up, his vermillion eyes as bright as ever as he caresses your cheek, sweeping the single tear off your face.

 “For what? You did nothing wrong y/n, you don’t have to be so sad over me-this is my job after all!” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as you began to help him stand up. He was slightly wobbly on his feet but seemed to be doing just fine. 

He gave you a small smile, a hint of worry in his eyes as he heard footsteps coming behind him.

“Just-let me do the talking, Kay?” He waited for you to give him a nod, his hands giving yours a gentle squeeze.

“Do you still have the wallet you stole?”

“The-? Oh, yeah, I do,” you stated quickly, the wallet resurfacing in your mind as you rummaged in your jacket, pulling it out and shoving it into his hand.

“Thanks,” he smiled at you, his cheeks warm as he faltered for the smallest second. 

It was evident he wanted to lean in and kiss you-the way he stared at your lips was quite evident and brought a blush to your cheeks. 

But Kirishima was still on duty, and couldn’t be so openly romantic when he was in his hero suit as well being approached by law enforcement. He instead opted to kiss your cheek, the smooth skin of his lips warming your whole body as he walked over to greet the police officer. 

Kirishima has spoke to the police officer for quite a while, a few others watching close behind as they surveyed you. You felt strange, standing there so alone as you watched Kirishima talk to the officer so warmly. 

You didn’t know what he was saying, or what he was doing, but you were hoping he was somehow sweet talking the officers. You watched him point to you at one point, his warm smile assuring your terrified face as the officer looked you up and down tentatively.

He motioned you to come over, as if trying to get a frightened animal to come near him. You followed his command, your steps hesitant as you approached the two men.

The officer face was hardened until he saw the look of terror on your face, his expression softening slightly.

“This is her?” He asked gruffly, turning to Kirishima.

“Yes,” he nodded his head in confirmation. “The LOV have been brainwashing her for their plans-she has intel the heroes could use to our advantage. Fat Gum’s agency needs her straight away in order to get that info from her. I promise we will get her in the system and any other information you may need on file.”

The officer gave you two a long look, sighing as he scratched his chin.

“Alright,” he complied, a huge smile erupting on Kirishimas face. “You two need a ride? You look pretty messed up.”

Kirishima gave a small chuckle, scratching the back of his head. “Uh-yeah, THAT'D be pretty nice actually-“

After the small car ride to Fat Gum’s agency, you had helped Kirishima out of the car and to Fat Gum’s office at the top floor. It seemed like someone had already alerted Fat Gum to Kirishima's arrival, because you two were instantly met by the pro hero with worried eyes once you reached his office.

“God Kirishima you had me so worried for a second!” He yelled, striding over to the bruised hero, “that receptionist really made it sound like you were in need of medical attention or something-“

“I’m fine Fat, you don’t gotta worry about me!” Kirishima said good naturedly, his perfect teeth glistening in the fluorescent lights. “I actually have some things I need your help with-“

“You definitely do if you're bringing a civilian into the office,” FatGum stared down at you with a warm smile, your heart beating guiltily. It was strange to see the hero in normal clothing in not in his larger form, his stature so much smaller it seemed from his usually large frame.

“The names Fat, but you can call me Taishiro!” He held out his hand in front of you, his bright personality radiating off of him, “and you are-“

“I-I’m y/n, sir,” you said hesitantly, taking your smaller hand in his. He was just as warm as Kirishima, like a bright ball of sun. 

No wonder Kirishima interned with Fatgum-he was just like him. Bright, fun, kind. Everything you so dearly craved for in your life, but couldn't quite grasp.

“I’m sorry, I’m not a civilian-I’m a criminal, a Villian,” you muttered sadly, your head hanging low, “well, I was-“

Fat Gum gave Kirishima a confused look, his happy exterior dropping slightly. 

“She was being forced to be a Villain by Shigaraki,” Kirishima quickly stepped forward, his tone serious as he defended you. “She wanted to leave the LOV, but they were threatening her.

“She didn’t do anything wrong-she just wanted to protect herself and the people around her.”

Fat Gum scratched the side of his cheek, his eyes lost in thought.

“Well Thats a strange situation to be in-I’m assuming you two know each other?”

You looked at Kirishima, red blossoming your cheeks just like his. 

Maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell his mentor that you had dramatically broke up with Kirishima over 3 months ago.

“We uh-“ Kirishima started, his voice wavering in uncertainty.

“We were classmates,” you chided in quickly, “I went to UA along with Kirishima, but the LOV forced me to leave the school.”

Fat Gum nodded his head, a sigh escaping his lips. “So-you’ve been working as a Villain, but against your will?”

You nodded your head, your breath caught in your throat as you awaited for the hero's reaction to this news of your true identity.

“This will get a little fuzzy legal wise, especially if people are looking for you-some may not trust what you say, even if you left the League and do everything in your power to change their minds.”

“Don’t worry though, I believe you,” the hero placed his hand in your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I believe Red Riot full heartedly in his perception of others and I’m pretty good at reading people too. I can tell youre not what the League tried to make you into.”

He sent you a warm grin, making you feel safe for what had felt like a long time.

“Would you be willing to answer questions about the League? about how they operate, how large they are, their plans-“

“Yes, anything to end them and help the heroes,” you answered quickly, your tone set in determination, “I’d be willing to do all of it.”

“Well that settles it!” Fat Gum said happily, the smile back on his face. “Tomorrow we’ll start talking to you about your experience with the League-but you two seem to need a well deserved nap.”

“Why don’t you keep her in your apartment Kirishima?” FatGum turned to the hero, Kirishimas dusted in pink by the proposition. “Shell feel

a little more comfortable since you're someone she knows, and she’s also close to the agency.”

Fat Gum gave you a soft smile, his eyes filled with reassurance. “Heroes will be around all day and all night, so nobody can come in and out.”

It surprised you how intuitive the hero was-he knew exactly how you were feeling. 

Even though you knew it was foolish, you still felt that somehow the League would find you and try to bring you back. You had clearly defied them, and it scared you that they be trying to get their revenge. 

But Fatgums charming smile was so reassuring and welcoming, you couldn’t give him a small smile back.

“I think I can manage that arrangement.”

“Good then,” he gave you two one last smile, ushering you two out the door, “make sure to get some rest-tomorrow will definitely be a long day. Make sure those injuries are doing well too, alright?”

You both gave the hero a curt response, turning your backs from the now closed doors.

Kirishima's heart began to beat intensely, his stomach filling with butterflies.

You had agreed to stay in his room? God, if someone had told him a few hours ago you’d be staying the night with him, he’d wouldn’t believe it for a second. But now this was happening, and he couldn’t be more ecstatic or nervous.

He stared at your profile, not missing the dusting of red on your cheeks-you were nervous too? It made him feel a little better inside, a small smile gracing his lips as he stretched out his hand.

“You ready?”

You looked down at the outstretched sha s in front of you, taking his palm in yours tentatively.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” 

He lead you through the agency, taking an elevator a few levels down in order to get to the apartments specifically for the heroes in training.

It was a short trip, but the fatigue that wa a beginning to hit your body was making it feel so much longer. The adrenaline rush you had felt all night was wearing off, your eyes fluttering as you will yourself to stay awake.

Kirishima noticed your sleepy state, a small chuckle escaping from his chest.

“You feeling tired?”

“Just-a little,” you yawned out, wrapping your hands around your body.

“Don’t worry-were almost at my place,” he gave you a sweet smile, his hands outstretched for yours as the elevator door opened. You took it gratefully, letting him lead you to his door as he opened it with ease.

You stepped inside, adjusting from the darkness as you took in the sight in front of you.

The room smelled of him-the warm and musky scent ofhis cologne lingering in the air. It was almost teasing you with its memories, a wave of comfort washing over you as you recalled all the times you buried your nose into his neck and smelled his scent. 

His room was pretty neat, surprisingly, his desk organized and his walls decorated with a few posters. You recognized some from his old room at UA-a Crimson Riot, his favorite band, and even a calendar he used to use frequently.

Some areas of his room signaled the busy life of his work stidy, his unmade bed strewn with clothing he had hastily ripped off, a small pile of clothes in a pile and his laptop charging in a corner of the room.

Kirishima cursed himself as he looked around the room, painstakingly noticing every little detail and mess, hating how he hadn’t cleaned up his room that day.

“Sorry for the mess, I didn’t expect to have anyone,” he chuckled nervously, already going around and picking up his things.

“It’s fine-I like it,” 

You were speaking the truth when you said it-you liked how it was so him, showing a glimpse into his daily life. It was warm and comforting, even residential, to see him in his day to day life.

“You do?”

You hummed a “yes”, feeling your heart beat fast when Kirishima closed the gap between you two, his palms gently grasping your arms. He breathed in a deep sigh, holding you close.

“God, you don’t know how much I missed you,” he sighed out breathlessly.

“I missed you too Kiri,” you looked down, old guilt resurfacing inside you, “I’m still sorry for being so-so mean to you-I should have just told you the truth, I shouldn't have lied-“

Kirishima smiled softly, lifting your chin with his finger.

“Don’t worry about that! That was in the past-now it’s just you and me, kay? You don’t have to worry about any of that, now”

He gave you a long look, sorry buried in his brows as you ran his fingers along your skin, feeling the bags under your eyes. You inhaled a deep breath, loving the electricity Kirishima set into your skin just from his touch.

“You really are tired, huh?” He asked quietly, his voice husky from exhaustion himself.

“And you're not?” You gave him a quirky smile, making him blush with a chuckle.

“Well, I didn’t say that,” he gave you a small grin, his hands returning back to their spots on your arms.

“Do you wanna sleep? You can take the bed if you want-I know it’s not made, but I can sleep on the couch if you’d like-“

“I want to sleep with you,” you replied softly, your eyes widening once you realized what you had just said.

You wanted to sleep with him? God, you sounded so perverted! 

“I-I mean I want to go to bed with you-I didnt mean-I just didn’t want to make you sleep somewhere else, since this your room-“

Kirishima's face was incredibly red, but the smile was still plastered on his face.

“Oh it’s alright, I really don’t mind either way.“

He pulled himself away from you gently, as he began searching through his dresser for some clothes.

“So-bed together?”

“Yup!” You replied back, popping the p as You sat on the unmade bed, your fingers dragging against the plus fabric as Kirishima turned around, sitting in front of you as he handed you one of his shirts.

“I know you don’t have any pajamas, so you can wear one of my shirts until we get you some clothes.”

“Mm, sounds good,” you smiled tenderly, loving how close he was as you ran your hands through his hair.

He sighed into your touch as he nuzzled into your skin, his breath warm against your skin.

He sat there for a few moments, finally rising sluggish and slow.

“Gotta move-or I’ll fall asleep right there,” he chuckled, walking over to the front of his closet. He began to take off the pieces of his hero suit, the large gears on his arms hitting the floor with a thud.

You admired how broad his shoulders were, the way his muscles rippled so evidently as he moved his bones to his will. He was so perfectly built, you could t help but drool at the firmness of his skin.

“Having fun over there?,” he turned around, a shit eating grin plastered on his face as he undid the belt around his waist.

“Just a little,” you gave him a small grin, hear flooding your face as you held the shirt close to your chest.

“You can go change in the bathroom if you’d like-you don’t have to stay out here if you’re not comfortable,” 

“And what if I am?” 

You laughed at the clearly evident blush on his cheeks, his face trying to hide the rush of embarrassment.

“Your a handful,” he chuckled, his hand running through his hair nervously.

He knew you were joking, and you two had only sorta, maybe gotten back together lass than an hour ago-but damn if he wasn’t nervous and excited by you being so flirtatious-in his room. 

For the rest of the night. 

You gave him one last smile before you disappeared into the bathroom, your hands closing the door gently.

God, it felt so nice to be in his arms again, to feel safe and warm. You had missed the fluttering feeling Kirishima gave you, like you could fly away  at any moment and you could care less. You brought your nose to the cloth of the worn shirt, the powerful smell of his detergent and cologne washing over you. It was so comforting, a nostalgic feeling filling your body as you remembered how much you missed his scent. 

You quickly stripped of your clothes, happy to be free of the uncomfortable garments finally. Since Kirishima didn’t hand you any shorts to wear, you decided to only wear the shirt he had given you over your underwear. The softness of the shirt felt so relaxing against your tired skin, almost like getting a hug from the boy himself. You smiled a deep sigh, happy to see that the shirt was long enough to at least cover your underwear from plan view and you splashed your face with some cold water, rinsing away all the fears from tonight.

You would have a long day tomorrow answering questions about the League-you could at least give yourself tonight to forget and be worry free.

Kirishima was hastily changing before you came out of the bathroom, dreading the idea of you seeing him half naked as he swapped out of his hero suit. He opted to wear something comfortable, grey sweatpants and an old black tshirt, his body running frantically to clean his room. Now that he got the chance to properly clean his room, he was a mad man trying to make it to his liking. He shoved clothes into his closet, made his bed, even hiding cords under his bed. 

If you were going to be in his room, he was at least going to give off some impression of him being neat.

He was now laying on his newly made bed, his hands occupied with checking his phone as he heard the bathroom door opening, your footsteps soft on the carpet of his room.

He looked up, a question about to fall from his lips until his mind went completely blank at the sight of you.

There you were, standing in his room, looking as beautiful as ever wearing his shirt and nothing else. He couldn't help but stare at your legs, worshipping the curves as his mouth was agape from awe.

He didn’t fully prepare himself at the sight of you in his clothes, but god did you wear them so perfectly-

“You okay Kiri?” You gave a nervous laugh, striding over to the bed, settling your knees on the plush comforter.

The shirt road up from the movement t, showing more of those pretty thighs of yours that made him practically drool.

“Ne-never been better!” He tried to compose himself, his voice rising slightly.

God, he needed to get ahold of himself.

“You look pretty comfy,” he gave a small comment on your outfit, loving how bashful you look at the comment.

“Of course I am,” you replied back, crawling over to his side of the bed. He gulped at the sight of you coming so close to him, “I’m in your clothes after all.”

You sat your body next to Kirishima, your hand finding his as your other lightly rested on his stomach. 

“You know, I’ve always thought you looked good in anything,” he smiled, his eyes dark like wine, “but you wearing my clothes-you looked best in that,” 

“Really?” You gave the boy a shit eating grin, knowing full well you were playing a dangerous game now.

This night could end in two different scenarios: one could complicate things, and one could really complicate things.

You’d take the latter, if he was willing.

You shifted your body around him, straddling his waist as his shirt rode up, exposing your thighs even more.

“And what about when they're not on?”

Kirishima's heart beat at an insane pace in his chest-was this wrong to do? He didn’t know and frankly, he didn’t care at that moment.

He returned the smile, his hands traveling underneath the soft shirt.

“Even better.”

Tagging (anyone who commented or asked for a part 2- I tried to get everyone!):

@cellotonin​ @bakugous-forehead​ @lgbtonystarks​ @marrypuffsstuff​ @lady-bakuhoe​ @kurinhimenezu​ @hipster-merchant-of-death​ @hot-pocket01​ @bubblegum-bee-otch​ @kai-charm​

[jessepinwheel]

Fic prompt for Sequential Logic: Quinlan finding out Obi-Wan isn't actually dead/them meeting up again for the first time. Loving these ficlets so much! :) -BratFarrar

all right I guess it was inevitable someone would request this one

It starts about halfway across the galaxy, with a message from Bant directly to Quinlan’s urgent comm line.

Wham Bam Bant: Hey, so I have some news.

Wham Bam Bant: Message me back when you’re available.

Wham Bam Bant: I think you want to hear this.

Quinlan, currently undercover in a cantina investigating bounty hunter activity, reads the message and frowns. There’s not a lot of reasons Bant would use his emergency line, especially when he’s out on an assignment like this.

He messages her back:

Me ;): who died?????

Wham Bam Bant: Nobody’s dead.

Wham Bam Bant: Sorry, I should have been more clear.

Me ;): then what happened???????

Wham Bam Bant: Are you busy right now?

Wham Bam Bant: Because I really think this deserves your full attention.

Quinlan scowls.

Me ;): fine ill msg u later

Wham Bam Bant: Thank you.

Quinlan obligingly closes out of his messages, but he doesn’t stop thinking about it. Not then, and not an hour and a half later when he’s getting punched in the face by a very angry Rodian. Quinlan isn’t the kind of person to get anxious easily, but big news in the middle of a war is rarely good.

It’s four hours later, well after midnight when he finally gets back to his current safe house and can message Bant back.

Me ;): ok im back hit me

Me ;): this better be huge because its been killing me all day

It must be much earlier in the day for Bant, because she responds almost immediately.

Wham Bam Bant: Okay.

Wham Bam Bant: It’s about Obi-Wan.

Quinlan nearly drops his drink.

Me ;): obi????

Me ;): did they finally find his body and bring it back to the temple??????

Wham Bam Bant: Uh.

Wham Bam Bant: I mean, from a certain point of view, yes.

Me ;): wh

Me ;): what the hell is that supposed to mean???????

Wham Bam Bant: Well you don’t usually call it a body if they’re not dead.

Wham Bam Bant: Quin, Obi-Wan’s alive.

Quinlan stares at his commlink.  It’s not possible for Obi-Wan to be alive--he’d felt Obi-Wan die. Obi-Wan had been ripped out of his soul, out of life and into nothing at all. There’s no way he’s alive.

Me ;): bant that’s not fucking funny

Wham Bam Bant: Quinlan, you know I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this.

Wham Bam Bant: I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen him myself.

Me ;): jinn left him on a kriffing civil war planet!

Me ;): you’re the one who said he got himself blown up!

Me ;): how the FUCK would he be alive

Wham Bam Bant: He did get hit with an ion blast, apparently.

Wham Bam Bant: He says that’s how he lost his hand.

Me ;): he WHAT

Wham Bam Bant: Actually, he says it wasn’t the bomb, it was shrapnel and an infection.

Wham Bam Bant: You know, because that’s so much better.

Quinlan takes a deep breath. Bant was right to not tell him about this until he was somewhere safe, because this is way too much at once.

Me ;): wait is he there with you

Wham Bam Bant: Yeah, he’s in the Halls with me.

Wham Bam Bant: It’s kind of a long story.

Wham Bam Bant: He says hello.

Wham Bam Bant: and also sorry.

[Wham Bam Bant has sent an image.]

The image takes a hot second to load--communications get pretty dodgy this far from the Core--but soon enough, Quinlan gets to see a selfie of Bant next to an adult human man.

He...doesn’t look like Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was runty and skinny with big eyes and unruly hair. This guy has reddish-brown hair that’s not red enough and is too long and tied back into a tight updo, he’s pale and tired and his gray eyes are sad with the starts of crows’ feet at the corners. He’s smiling, but not the way Obi-Wan used to, so unguarded and free. It’s something soft and small that conceals more than it shows. It’s the smile of someone who doesn’t do it a whole lot.

This isn’t Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was young. He was full of energy and constantly cared too much about anyone and everyone. He was fucking happy.

This man, this adult looks like someone who’s stared death in the face and hated every second of it.

Me ;): put him on the comm

Wham Bam Bant: What?

Me ;): give him the commlink

Me ;): if hes there i want to talk to him

Wham Bam Bant: Uh let me ask.

It takes an entire six minutes for the next message to arrive. Quinlan gets a bottle of whiskey in the meantime--not to drink right now, but the way this night’s gone, he’ll need it soon enough.

Wham Bam Bant: hello?

Me ;): obi?

Wham Bam Bant: dont c

Wham Bam Bant: onlp bant can call me that

Wham Bam Bant: only

Well, that’s one thing in favor of this guy maybe being Obi-Wan. One thing’s for sure, though--he’s slow as hell at typing.

Me ;): so you’re supposed to be obi-wan?

Wham Bam Bant: yes

Me ;): you’re telling me obi-wan doesn’t capitalize his messages?

Wham Bam Bant: sorry this comm

Wham Bam Bant: not made for on ehand messkgn

Wham Bam Bant: messaging

Wham Bam Bant: very diffc

Wham Bam Bant: hard to hold

All right, that’s fair. Now he kind of feels like an asshole for ragging on the amputee.

Me ;): fine okay

Me ;): so how do i know you’re really obi-wan

Wham Bam Bant: what

Me ;): you might have convinced bant but you haven’t convinced me

Wham Bam Bant: i thought bant swmt a holo

Wham Bam Bant: sent

Me ;): not good enough

Me ;): you know how many ways there are to fake a face?

Me ;): obi-wan died twenty-one years ago. whoever you are, you’re not obi-wan

Wham Bam Bant: i dont know what to tell you

Wham Bam Bant: im sorry you thought iw as dead

Me ;): you’re sorry???????

Me ;): you’re fucking dead!!!!

Wham Bam Bant: i didnt know you thought i died

Wham Bam Bant: i fonud out yesterday

Wham Bam Bant: founht

Wham Bam Bant: found

Me ;): it’s been twenty-one fucking years asshole!

Me ;): if obi-wan was alive that whole karking time he would have at least sent a postcard telling me to go fuck myself!

Me ;): because he’s not a fucking coward!!

Wham Bam Bant: i kind of had bigger problems quin

Me ;): like what???????

Wham Bam Bant: i lost the force

Quinlan stares. He lost the Force. That’s not a thing. Everyone knows that’s not a thing that happens.

Me ;): nice fucking story

Me ;): you think im gonna believe that?

Me ;): try again when you have a better story

Wham Bam Bant: its what happened

Wham Bam Bant: i dont care if you believe me

Wham Bam Bant: but im not gonig to lie to you

Wham Bam Bant: i just wanted to say sorry

Wham Bam Bant: it hurts to have friends die

Wham Bam Bant: im sorry i put you through that

Me ;): piss off

Me ;): you don’t get to roll up after twenty-one years and say sorry

Me ;): do you have any idea how much obi-wan’s death fucked me up??

Me ;): i coulndt even make it to the funeral

Me ;): and i came THIS CLOSE

Wham Bam Bant: no

Me ;): to wrapping jinns shitty hair around his neck and strangling him

Me ;): for ditching obi in the middle of a war zone

Me ;): he wasn’t perfect but he was just a kid

Me ;): and he was a GOOD kid

Wham Bam Bant: please dont call me obi

Me ;): got into too much trouble, cared way too hard about everyone

Me ;): he fucking deserved better

Me ;): so dont think you can waltz in and say sorry

Me ;): it is way too fucking late for that

Wham Bam Bant: i see

Wham Bam Bant: thank you for caring

Quinlan takes a deep breath. What the hell is he supposed to say to that?

Me ;): obi-wan was one of my best friends. what kind of fucking asshole wouldn’t care

Wham Bam Bant: i dont know

Wham Bam Bant: im sorry

Me ;): stop fucking saying you’re sorry!

Wham Bam Bant: okay

Wham Bam Bant: im glad youre doing well quin

Me ;): fuck off!

Me ;): stop pretending to be obi-wan!

Me ;): he’s dead!

Me ;): you can’t run that shit back!!

Wham Bam Bant: ok

Fake Obi-Wan doesn’t respond after that. That’s fine. Quinlan doesn’t want to talk to him anyways.

He closes out the connection, and when that’s not satisfying enough, he flings the commlink at his bed and seethes. How low does someone have to go to desecrate Obi-Wan’s memory? A kriffing kid? Let the dead fucking rest.

He uncaps his whiskey and takes a long swig of it, straight from the bottle. It burns on the way down and it doesn’t taste great, either. He sets it down heavily and closes his eyes. Back on his bed, his commlink beeps with a new message. He ignores it. He’s had enough for one day.

Slowly, he reaches for the second lightsaber clipped to his belt. The kyber crystal feels the same as it always does--mournfully quiet like it’s always been since Obi-Wan died. He brushes the metal casing and old memories reach back to him--always getting older, these days--of the last time anyone had seen him, returning his lightsaber to his Master and leaving the Jedi Order.

Obi-Wan had been so damn earnest, so damn sure that he had to do the right thing, and it had gotten him killed. Obi-Wan had fought hard, wherever he was, until he was scared and hurting, and then he died. Just another corpse along the hundreds of other kids killed on a planet that couldn’t stop fighting.

Quinlan slumps over with his head against the table. He wants Obi-Wan to be alive. He wants to be able to have his friend back, but that’s just not how the world works.

He’s not letting himself get his hopes up again.

[tarunsaravana]

BRAINWASHING CHILDREN THEORY

Now I’m warning you the next theory is pretty dark and probably one of the most unsettleing ones we have talked about in this Blog.

This theory starts with subliminal msgs in kids shows.

SUBLIMAL MESSAGES

By far Spongebob square pants has the most messages that are clearly hidden in grown ups.

There’s jokes about prison “Don’t Drop Them”

Patrick licking sand.

Those are all just jokes, clearly hidden for adults

But there are lot of jokes, some involves suicide.

In a 2001 episode , squidward is being sad the entire time. There is scenes of him walking around dazed stage. There is a scene of him putting in a oven. By far the most darkest moment of them all is sponge bob looks after him thinking his okay. And then he’s says “at least we know he’s alive”. Yeah that might be the darkest line I have ever read in a kids cartoon show. There are plenty of suicidal messages left in other episodes. As I was looking more into it , I found out suicide was in a lot of cartoon tv shows. The ending of looney tunes.this one really gave me chills down spine, in one of the cartoon characters from looney tunes jumping off the bridge shouting “IM FREE”. Once again glorifying suicide. And its not just these clips. Bunny , Daffy Duck, woody woodpecker, daisy and a bunch of cartoon characters ending their life with gun for no reason. the strangest of them all how they made it look exciting to kids.There is a cartoon where mickey gets depressed over Minnie. In that cartoon 3 ways of killing yourself is shown gun, petroleum and for some reason jumping off a bridge. Now I’m not saying this to scare you or not to watch cartoon. These are all just theories none of them are “facts” and they are not meant to hurt anyone/anything. I mean the daisy cartoon where daisy is shown depressed , in that cartoon almost 5 ways of killing yourself is shown and poured into youngsters mind. Gun, grenade ,knife, hanging and bomb.

THEORY(just speculations)

Now why would they put suicide on younger generations brain some people think control of over growth of population, some people think to keep society weak and depressed and fearful state. Because the more younger you are between 1 - 5 years your brain develops and everything you see on your favourite cartoon shows killing themself and also make it exciting. The more society, the more power control over weak society. Think about it kids are depressed , we’re medicating them and putting them on pills and sitting in front of TV while their watching their favorite cartoon character kill themself and also making it seem exciting to kids. I mean the global antidepressant market is estimated over 11.6 BILLION dollars. The government and the economy love depression. We also glorify things like money, fame, success. And of course if we can’t afford things we were told it will set us “free”. That’s why back of our heads teens think suicide is an option. YES , people have severe depression,OCD ,suicidal thoughts me too included in the past. But it is wondering who started all of these negative energy. Think about it your child entertainer Logan Paul filming a dead body in the suicide forest. The nickelodeon shows who show unessasacery content to kids.it involves talking about feet a lot. Even think about the board game which targeted to us as kids.

“THE GAME OF LIFE”. The goal is to succeed or you’ll lose. To win the game of life you need to make money. You should be better than those who are playing against you. Literally the commercial says “Be A Winner in the Game of Life”. I MEAN , COME ON. And the original version of the game of life in 1860 ,created by Milton Bradley ,it literally had suicide on the board as a option. Now its not just suicide being poured into kids pure brain.there’s darkness in every single form. I mean think about the games we used to play as kids. I mean just google “Ring around the Rosie meaning”A rosy rash, they allege, was a symptom of the plague, and posies of herbs were carried as protection and to ward off the smell of the disease. Sneezing or coughing was a final fatal symptom, and "all fall down" was exactly what happened. Again a another event where people die and has shown as exciting to kids. London Bridge. A song about a huge bridge falling down.“London Bridge is Falling Down” could be about a 1014 Viking attack, child sacrifice, or the normal deterioration of an old bridge. But the most popular theory seems to be that first one. More specifically: the alleged destruction of London Bridge at the hands of Olaf II of Norway sometime in the early 1000s. There’s even a darker line singing iron parts will bend and break , bend and break.

Ouija board, a game that makes fun to contact evil spirits in your house.Twister , a game that is marketed to tight teenagers up and down. Imagine the creepy uncles wanna play the game at thanksgiving.and then we have the darkest of them all Hangman , game where you have to choose the correct word or your little stick figure gets hanged. And the darkest part of them all is that , this classroom game is actually based on real life game in the 18th century, prisoners that were sentenced to death by hanging should guess the word, the exicutioner will give and if they guess the word right they’ll live or if not death. The most messed up part of all of this ,that almost all of the prisoners were illiterate which means they didn’t have a chance , that game was to just publicly humiliate them before they died.

NURSERY RHYMES

And it’s not just games which have a darker turn , what’s the first thing you remember as a kid, nursery rhymes. rock bye baby , a song which a baby’s cradle is in the branch of a tree and the branch breaks and the baby falls to the ground. Humpty Dumpty , he sat on a wall and suddenly “had a great fall” and nobody can save him because he’s dead.”its raining and pouring” a song where a old man hits his head on the wall and then dies, “he couldn’t get up in the morning “

Now one of the most disturbing is Peter peter pumpkin eater. A song about a guy who he’s wife doesn’t want him and puts her in a pumpkin and again, song which normalizes holding women against your will. I mean looking back at London bridge there’s a reference to something along the lines of “LOCK HER UP,LOCK HER UP” “LOCK HER UP,LOCK HER UP “(lyrics from London bridge).

INTERNET

Now on the internet kids start watching YouTube kids but don’t worry there’s bunch of dark messages hidden there. Murder,suicide, violence and for some reason lot of vomiting. Then when you’re a teenager you watch plenty of violence movies, tv shows and now internet challenges like momo challenge and blue whale challenge.

DISCUSSION

Everyone on society questions how much evil, death, hatred, depresssion, destruction but do we even have to question it? By looking back at our childhoods what was being put into us and right in front of our eyes. So what’s the overall theory ,”the way to keep a society in large is by fear, chaos ,the only way to make vote for them is to through destruction”” the only way to unite is through tragedies.”

“The only way to keep people happy , is by showing constant realistic expections that don’t really matter”” money, success”. The society that’s peaceful is not a society that can never be controlled.

CONCLUSION(spreading awareness)

So ,what do you do to make sure that chaos doesn’t appear continuously , well make sure to SHOW children how scary and dark the world is at very young age.

News

A mother bought a toddler this princess wand in the dollar store. Imagine the curiosity , shock and surprise when the child carefully peeled the foil to find a image of a another little girl cutting her wrist full blood.

“If you looked close enough its not a joke ,its actual image of a child slit her wrist, I want to know , what they think,how that’s suitable for a child.

Tarun