#... and then there's the fact they made the universal 'evil' Darkling do it

[stromuprisahat]

fans reading RoW: That's so cruel! Why would you kill David on his wedding day?! Can't they be happy with Genya at least for a moment?! S&B writers taking notes online: Hold our beer!

[poppy-metal]

Poppy out here making points bcs if u brush over ramsay r@p!ng people bcs he’s fictional (let’s be honest it’s bcs you think he’s hot, if the actor was ugly you’d all hate him and constantly bring up the r@p3) Does that mean if someone you know in real life or a celebrity that you admire or find hot does it it’s okay…?

I've said it before but there's a very real difference between villians in shows who do one thing and villians who do another like villians who are killers and have a devious agenda and lie and all that because no one they are being evil towards is real, their actions are so far removed from the fabric of reality its easy to look over and thirst for them. because mass murderers who can kill people with fire or live in a made up world do not affect us.

then there's villians who are like. racist, or they r*pe people. those actions are not far removed from reality. they are, in fact, very real and very personal. that is a kind of evil that is very true to real life. its the kind of evil that is universal in all worlds, real and fictional and shouldn't be condoned in either.

its why thirsting for characters like the darkling or daemon or so on is one thing but thirsting for someone like ramsay bolton is a whole other.

Its a difference i always thought was quite clear but apparently not?

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Draw your swords, pt. 2

Summary: While marriage was the last thing he’d want, especially with his enemies’ daughter, the Darkling isn’t above playing dirty to get what he wants. But his wish for a wedding night turns sour once he realizes his bride is anything but a weak human.

Warnings: angst, swearing, sexual references

Part one   

===========================

Walking down a hall, Y/N felt her heart drop as they neared a room meant for them. Glancing over her shoulder, she realized Darkling’s faithful Grisha followed them every step of the way.

Stopping moments before she walked into her now husband, Y/N turned on her heel. With a smile believable to anyone with an outsider’s perspective, she folded her hands before her abdomen.

“Did you guys enjoy the wedding?” Her voice is light, cheerful even. It felt odd, enough for Kirigan’s eyes to narrow at Ivan and Fedyor who replied simultaneously.

“Yes.” “No.”

Chuckling, she raised her eyebrows, “Well, did you both attend the same wedding?”

Swallowing thickly, Fedyor decided to speak for Ivan who was still disgruntled nearly as much as Kirigan.

“The wedding was perfect and you were a vision.”

Humming, she nods, “I’m glad it wasn’t a waste of time for you as it was for me. Good evening.” Turning her back on their flabbergasted faces, Y/N lifted her chin before entering the room on her own.

She could hear Kirigan’s annoyed sigh as he dismissed his Grisha, but the sound of the doors closing truly rattled her insides. Looking to him, she held her breath to stop a shuddered one from escaping her.

"I understand it's not what you expected", he smiled frostily. "I had plans that didn't include you either. But I suppose we'll both have to make do."

She scoffed, narrowing her eyes, "Make do?"

It was their wedding night, doors shut with no witnesses and the marriage arranged for the two of them felt like a noose tied around her neck. She swallows thickly, hyper aware of the bed dominating the room behind her and her hands, wrapped in each other behind her back have begun to tremble.

The general she married leaned back against the door, looking her up and down with a smile of slow appreciation. "Well, you are mine now."

"I may be tied to you by state laws, but I am not yours", she spat.

"No", he smirked, "Not yet." He peels away from the doors, stepping closer. He takes off his black kefta, draping it on a chair. Beginning to unbutton his black, silk shirt, the General looked at her as if she were a caged bird meant for his amusement.

"There are some traditions for tonight", he took one step toward her as he hummed.

"Are you familiar with the word defenestration?" She raised her voice ever so slightly, refusing to step back in fright. He does not get to challenge her and win. Not now, not ever. She does not draw back in a fight, her father taught her so.

"No", he raised an eyebrow, unsure what she means.

"If you come anywhere close to me", she growled out, "I will make sure you find out first hand."

"Don't be so quick to dismiss a good time", he purred, coming closer.

"Oh please, my heel is bigger than your dick."

Raising his eyebrows, the Darkling nearly scoffed at her confidence in this matter. "How can you be so sure when you've never even seen it?"

"No man with anger like yours could ever have something in his pants worth my time."

"You are my wife, are you not?" He narrowed his eyes at her and she rolled hers in contempt.

"Unfortunately."

"Glad you're aware of it", he licks his lips, "Means we're on the same page."

"Same page? We're not even in the same book!"

Those eyes of hers, as fierce and unperturbed by anything he did, could swallow stars and galaxies and universes. As far as he's concerned, she did for he could see them all mirrored in the defiance she locked her gaze onto his with.

"This", he whispers aggressively. "You", he presses closer until his lips are but a faint inhale away from hers, "Are mine. He gazes down at her, gauging her reaction, his eyes burning.

"You're a demon", she speaks through gritted teeth. "I don't trust demons, I don't lay with demons", she pushed against his chest with both her hands, "All you do is destroy."

"I’d say the same thing about you, human."

Rolling her eyes at him, she refuses to relent. Her body is tense, her neck aching from looking up at his dark presence she would not bend before. She isn’t a horse to be broken, she’s a soldier, her father’s daughter.

“Why are you glaring at me?” He grumbled, his lips nearly brushing against hers and she noticed.

Her heart skipped a beat once she realized just how close he is, “I’m hoping you’ll combust spontaneously.”

Raising an eyebrow, a cold smile forms on his lips, “Ah, how cute. But you’re no Inferni.”

“I’m better”, she brought her knee up so swiftly he didn’t see it coming. As her knee collided right between his legs, Kirigan bent over, bellowing in pain.

“Don’t you know who I am?!” He growled with fury, struggling to straighten up. Forced to look up at the smug smile upon her lush, rosy lips, Kirigan never felt more enraged by a woman before.

“I do.” Shrugging, she sat at the bottom of the bed. “I just don’t fucking care. You don’t scare me.”

His gaze felt like fire, setting every inch of her skin aflame and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was hate or lust that burned so bright within him….within her. Either way, she knew she’d be teasing him like this every day if it meant he’d look at her like that. She always did like playing with fire, Inferni or not, and Kirigan just made himself an easy target.

On one knee, he gripped the sheets in an attempt to pull himself up, yet all he could do is groan and clutch his groin.

Gripping his chin, she locked her gaze on him with an unforgivable disobedience. “I wasn’t born to be soft and quiet. I’m not a dutiful wife who desperately seeks your attention. I’m a general’s daughter. I was born to make the world shatter and shake at my fingertips.” Turning his head to the door, she leans in and whispers in his ear. “And now you can leave while your manhood is still relatively untouched.”

“I could kill you for this”, the Darkling threatens, wishing he could wrap his hands around her pretty little neck and squeeze the resistance out of her along with her life.

“I’d like to see you try”, she sneered. Standing abruptly, she turned her back on him.

Sitting with his back against the doorframe, Darkling glared at her with burning passion – for vengeance, of course. While he assumed she’d be difficult, he didn’t presume her to be as strong-willed. A part of him was certain she’d cave once he turned on his charm, but she never allowed him to.

Noticing her hand movement, he quickly realized she’s unbuttoning her kefta as well. In seconds, his eyes widen as she slips the kefta off her shoulders and it falls to the floor. Nothing but a sheer gown hugs her body so tightly, the Darkling felt his breath stop in his throat.

Glancing over her shoulder, her eyes fixed on him, “Do you have no manners?”

She kept her eyes locked on his as she turned, opened her gown and slipped it from her shoulders, exposing her body to him. In his eyes appeared a mix of hunger and desire in such intensity that she was both excited and frightened.

“I’m the only one allowed to look at you, that’s a right you can’t strip me of.”

In time it takes for a heartbeat to echo in her ears, the Darkling stood before her. She took a shuddering breath as he gathered her into his embrace.

“Are you planning on forcing yourself onto me?” Y/N’s jaw clenched as her nostrils flare.

Pressing his lips together, his dark eyes narrow in disbelief, “Do you honestly believe me to be so evil?”

Speaking through gritted teeth, she remarks, “Yes.”

Nodding, her purses his lips. Raising his hands in mock surrender, Kirigan moves away from her. He straightens his back, finishing unbuttoning his shirt until the end – just before he lets it fall to the ground.

She swallows thickly, refusing to look anywhere below his chin. For a moment, she could have sworn a flash of hurt crossed his eyes, but she blamed the candlelight for the deceit. There is nothing good, nothing human in general Kirigan. He cannot feel hurt and she refused to let him past her defenses. She will not feel for him, she will not fall for him. He’s a task she had to manage, nothing more.

Unzipping his pants, he took the rest of his clothes off.

Her eyes flicker to his middle as he heads to the bed, realizing he’s wearing undergarments.

Relieved, Y/N opened the drawers, finding herself a proper nightgown to cover herself with. Once her body was no longer open to his view, she looked to him with pursed lips.

“I will not touch you”, he rolls his eyes, “But we are married. Might as well make the rest of the world believe the arrangement is somewhat functional.”

Looking at the door, she contemplated leaving. Sharing a bed with someone, anyone, was intimate. It required trust, love, a sense of safety and loyalty she certainly didn’t share with Kirigan.

“If you choose to leave, it will be all they talk about it the morning”, Darkling warns her and she huffs.

“If you lay a hand on me, I’ll be seeing you at the end of the altar once more. But in a casket during your funeral”, she glares at him and he can’t help but chuckle at her words.

He watched her settle in the bed, beside him. Placing a pillow between them seemed rather odd, but he didn’t mind it. In fact, he half expected her to make an attempt on his life on their wedding night. He still wasn’t sure she wouldn’t. He wasn’t sure he wouldn’t do the same.

“Sweet dreams, wife”, he smiled as she blew out the candle and the darkness settled in. He always felt comfortable in the dark.

She never felt comfortable in darkness, but he’d never know. She would be brave from now on – she wouldn’t bend, break or bow to anyone.

“I hope your dreams are filled with Volcra”, she snapped before turning on her side, further away from him.

Eventually, despite her initial distrust for the man, Y/N fell into a deep, exhausted sleep. She shifted in her sleep, throwing her leg over Kirigan’s, her hair twisting round and round his arm.

But the Darkling did not fall asleep immediately. She moved against him and snuggled closer. Even though she wouldn’t come close to him awake, she reached for him in her sleep. She wanted him nearby and it drew a smile to his lips. Catching himself smiling, the Darkling sat up in distress.

She may be appealing, but he cannot get attached to her. Ever.

His heart beats loudly, deafening so, his mind unable to slow down even for a moment. How could he fall asleep when he knew this angel beside him was simply a devil in disguise?

She’s a human – daughter of his enemy. Once she serves her purpose, the Darkling knew what he had to do. Turning her back on her side, he fixes the pillow in the middle. She’s a human, fleeting, he’s eternal and he will not allow himself the weakness of caring for someone like her.

Just as his mind drifts, he feels an arm wrap around him and he tenses up, eyes opening wide. “Fuck.”

Tags: @kaqua​ @savannah-elliott​ @all-art-is-quite-useless​

PART 3

[serpenteve]

self-empowerment in the grisha trilogy

There's this weird undercurrent of victim-blaming and acceptance of a shitty status quo that pervades the original Grisha trilogy. We're told that "power corrupts" and seeking it out is evil, but given the wider context of the Grisha being persecuted, the non-existent evidence for Alina's "corruption" via the amplifiers, and the way the story repeatedly punishes her and other victims for seeking more agency, self-determination, and self-empowerment, there are some uncomfortable implications.

What's evil is not the systemic and historic persecution of a marginalized group but the audacity of such a minority to ask for better treatment. What's evil is not Alina hurting herself by repressing her powers and putting up with a man who clearly resents them but her audacity to embrace her power completely and consider other love interests who like her power. What's evil is not a King abusing his power to repeatedly terrorize Genya but Genya's audacity to plot revenge against him. What's evil is not a member of the monarchy swooping in to restore the "order" that clearly benefitted him but the audacity of the Darkling to overthrow the powers that be.

Self-empowerment is evil. What is "good", "moral", and "just" is accepting your lot in life, being quietly obedient to the whims of society and the universe, and never daring to ask for better.

Grisha Liberation as Evil

Lots of readers have articulated the bizarre moral landscape of the trilogy better than I have so I'll just say that if your primary moral message is "power is bad", perhaps giving that message to a young woman who is now part of a marginalized group isn't the greatest idea. It's not the monarchy that gets dealt this message about the evils of power (Nikolai is lovingly placed on the throne as the "rightful king"), but the Grisha who get punished for asking for better.

Grisha cannot live anywhere other than Ravka for fear of being burned as witches or sold as slaves or tortured. The Second Army is their only refuge so is it really all that "evil" that they would dream of living normal lives? Where they are not merely exploited for imperial war games? Where their very existence is carefully balanced on the tightrope of exploitability vs threat. The Grisha cannot ask for better and they certainly cannot call out the corruption and evil of the monarchy.

The people who do ask for better (the Darkling and the Grisha that sided with him) are demonized and must go into hiding to avoid execution and sell their lives as slaves in Kerch after the civil war. Meanwhile, the upholders of the status quo (the monarchy) continue as planned and the social role that the Grisha have played in Ravka (as slightly more valuable canon fodder in the Second Army) also continue with the Grisha triumvirate. The only "evil" appears to be the fact that the Grisha were drafted without choice and some apparent snobbery between the Corpoalki.

Alina's Agency as Evil

The story repeatedly punishes Alina for employing her own agency in the story. She barely makes any decisions for herself, being carried along the plot by either side characters or the author. And when she does make decisions, she gets unfairly characterized as being "corrupted", "greedy", or "power-hungry" despite very little evidence of it in the text.

Advocating for yourself and empowering yourself is evil. What's "good" is running away, hiding, hurting yourself via power suppression, or killing yourself. The "good" characters in the story are the ones who don't want Alina to have power (Mal) or want Alina to hide her powers (Baghra) or want to use her powers in a muggle-friendly way (Nikolai).

In Shadow & Bone, Alina asks Mal to kill her if she gets captured by the Darkling. In Siege & Storm, she nearly dies trying to kill both herself and the Darkling. In Ruin & Rising, Baghra kills herself to distract her son. These are all framed as "good" and "noble" actions.

Even side characters get infected with this rhetoric. Genya takes her fate into her own hands when she chooses to take revenge on the King. But this is framed as being "evil" and "corrupted" because she takes the Darkling's side instead of Alina's. When she returns to Alina, she realizes the "err of her ways", that she has been following an evil man, and she is happy instead of hand the reins over to a prince who sends his offending father on a cushy vacation and makes Genya stand trial for murder.

Alina's Power as Evil

On the other hand, the character that encourages her, mentors her, and likes her because of her power is the villain. The character that wants to empower Alina by giving her three of the greatest amplifiers ever made also wants to exploit her for his own gain. It is still curious to me that the form that Morozova's amplifiers take are that of slavery: a collar and fetters. Visually, this indicates that whoever wears the amplifiers will be a slave to someone else. But in practicality, all they do is give the magic-user god-like powers. It was the writer's choice to manifest these empowering artifacts with disempowering imagery. It is a microcosm of the trilogy unsettling relationship between victims and power.

In contrast, Mal makes many decisions for Alina and she obediently follows (Mal decides they will hunt the stag, Mal decides where they will travel next, Mal decides they will leave Ravka). When Alina does start making her own decisions (Alina decides to go back to the Little Palace, Alina decides to rebuild the Second Army, Alina decides to go after the third amplifier) she gets punished by the plot and characterized as being corrupted by the evil amplifiers. She is "evil" for standing up against people slandering her. She is "evil" for talking back to Baghra. She is "evil" for wanting something different from Mal. In turn, Mal lashes out at her for not being the weak dependent girl she was.

When Alina uses her powers, she becomes more beautiful. But this makes her vain. Mal liked her better when she was suppressing her powers, blind to her pain and fatigue. The other character that suppresses her powers (Baghra) is framed as moral and uncorrupted.

Alina is "evil" for not listening to her "moral" boyfriend and being "selfish" for doing what she must to defeat the Darkling. At the end of the trilogy, Alina is excised of her evil (both the amplifiers and her summoning) and she is paired with the man who warned her of the evils of power. She is made to reject Nikolai's proposal because the "moral" decision is to accept one's lot in life (an anonymous orphan at Keramzin).

Self-Empowerment as Merzost (Abomination)

Advocating for yourself not only breaks societal laws, but cosmic laws of the universe. The Small Science accepts what is already there ("We do not conjure from nothing", "Like calls to like") but merzost asks the universe for more and there are limits to asking the world for more, for asking the universe for better. Dare you even ask it, dare you even attempt it, there will be consequences---a failed coup, the Shadow Fold, the universe taking your powers away from you.

Specifically, victims cannot ask for better. The Darkling cannot ask for more from society. Genya cannot ask for better from the monarchy. Alina cannot ask for better from Mal. To be "good", you either accept your lot or you kill yourself because self-destruction is better than self-empowerment.

Like the saints, you must suffer to be considered worthy.

[kallypsowrites]

truly cannot imagine shipping Alina with someone that sold her best friend into a sex trade and then also mutilated the same bff. go off, I guess.

And I can’t imagine coming into someone’s inbox to insult them on an anon for their fictional preferences because I’m too afraid to show my face, but here we are.

But hey. I’ll address the accusation. Because I’m not a fan of your word choice and I don’t think it captures what happened in canon.

First off, I’ve never defended his mutilation of Genya. In fact that was the deed that sealed for me that the Darkling wasn’t going to get a redemption. There are certain actions authors will have their character do to over emphasize evil and that’s one of them. I think it was a little over the top from a writer’s perspective, but in universe, yeah, it’s definitely horrible.

The whole ‘sex trade’ thing. I don’t understand why people assume the Darkling knew what was going to happen to Genya when he gave her to the queen.

First off, being made servant to a queen in a monarchy would be a huge honor for someone not born into the nobility. According to the story she has a good relationship with the queen at the start and isn’t mistreated. The Darkling places her there to be a potential spy. Not because he’s lying in wait for the king to start going after her. He just hopes she might hear things he can use.

Then the king does start going after her and she comes to the Darkling for help. He doesn’t say ‘sucks, you’ve gotta keeping doing it because it’s part of my grand plan’. He gives her a choice. He can send her away to a place she will be safe or she can stay and have her revenge on the king. She chooses the latter.

Now, is it fair to put that choice on a young woman (it’s unclear her age at this point)? No of course not. Is the Darkling thinking of how he can use this awful situation to his advantage? Yes he is. But he does give her an out. A chance to not be a part of any of it.

People ask why the Darkling didn’t just protect Genya from the king or bring her back to the Little Palace. And I think those people.... don’t understand how monarchy works? The Darkling has to do what the king says. If he tried to protect Genya or remove her from the queen’s service, the king could have said ‘no’. And the Darkling needs to toe a line with him. The best thing he could do for Genya was send her away. Out of sight, out of mind for the king.

If he was like... a moral guy, he would have sent her away without putting the choice to her. But he’s the villain, so here we are. I don’t exactly ship him and Alina for their moral righteousness. But at the end of the day ‘sold into a sex trade’ is complete hyperbole to what happened. ‘Took advantage of a girl’s abuse to overthrow a king’ is closer.

Anyway that’s my two cents on the Genya thing. And probably the last time I’m gonna answer anons about it because now you guys know my stance— it was bad, but the Darkling is often given more blame than the actual king, and Also the Darkling is a villain so he’s gonna do bad things. That’s how villain x hero ships go

[black-rose-writings]

Reading Crooked Kingdom - Chapter 11

POV Inej

The aesthetic of this is just... wow.

Wow, racism. As expected.

I’ve mentioned this in the elevator post, but there are very good in-universe reasons for why Ketterdam would have skyscrapers and elevators in mid-19th century type setting and why Ravka wouldn’t - Ravka is huge. They have plenty of space to build on and expand their cities into, while Kerch, and Ketterdam in particular, is a mid-sized island with limited space to exand, so they expanded up.

I’m not sure how I feel about Inej’s newfound paranoia, especially after seeing Kaz being a Simp Supreme in his POV.

Inej has her priorities in order - as probably the only person in this fucking universe.

I am kinda concerned about the fact that Wylan knows about lumiya, even though I guess it could be explained by some Darkling’s fabricators escaping Ravka with the formula.

One more reminder of how capitally fucked the Grisha are in this world. Great. And the evil cyborgs get a name. Nice.

Ah, yes, here comes the old Matthias, thinking Grisha are savage witches *eyeroll*. I’m sorry, whose government drugged Grisha to make them do their bidding? Made them literally build their own prison cells? Bitch?

Jesper is talking sense. Like, I know it’s not Kuwei’s fault, but like... he’s got a point. That shit’s terrifying.

Remember what I said about SoC books being an incorrect quotes goldmine?

I really wish LB had remembered that most of Europe (and also Russia) uses beet sugar, rather than cane sugar. With the huge plains of (presumably) farmland, Ravka should have been able to make its own beet sugar.

Holy shit, that’s one hell of a master plan. But given that I’m not even a third of the book in, I doubt that will be the end of it.

Somehow, I feel like “There will be a net” is super romantic? Is that only me?

Lol.

That’s... I don’t know... surprisingly little for such a big city? Or are we only talking about Ravkan Grisha? The ratio of Grisha to general population is never clear in these fucking books.

Wylan is a fast learner, I see.

The plot thickens and the plan complicates.

This is going to go so wrong, isn’t it? I know these books by now. Any plan that is made will fail. Any time someone thinks about the future, their life is about to go to hell. Any time the characters think they know what they’re up against, they’re wrong.

I mean, at least someone finally gives a shit about other Grisha, but like... took you long enough?

[mothsandbutterflies13]

Shadow and Bone Pt 2

The General/The Darkling/Aleksander Morozova: I like this character. Like, a lot. It helps that he's the epitome of "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" (TDH) but Aleksander Morozozva, as a person, is so interesting. There are so many things I'd like to pick his brain on; human nature, court politics, the war with Fjerda and Shu Han, Zlatan and his independence movement, etc. As a character, I wish they had injected some more darkness into him. I get it, the show is supposed to be marketed towards a younger audience, so it's not logical to have your tall, dark heartthrob be a literal jackass with no redeemable points. I applaud the show for giving him a more human side to him, but I also wish they would be clear on which couple is endgame. B/c if Darklina is endgame, I don't think you're doing enough to sell it. And if it's not, then you're doing waaaaay too much to sell it.

Alina Starkov: I love the actress. She seems so funny and kind. Her biracial status is just an added bonus. As a character, though… let's just say, Alina might not be a Mary Sue, but she's not not one either. Let me explain. I can't say I was thrilled to hear Alina Starkov was written as biracial in the show. It just felt like they were trying to score diversity points in being able to cast Jessie Mei Li as the female lead in a major TV production. I mean, in the context of the universe of Shadow and Bone, it was fine. I guess. But we really only get one piece of dialogue wherein Alina is discriminated against by the army camp cook for her different looks (which, if we're talking different looks, Mal looks waaaay more Shu Han than Alina, but that's just my opinion) and the confrontation with the tsarista and the maid's comment about changing her eyes, but that was about it. And Botkin, who looks and sounds like a Shu Han, NEVER comments on her appearance. For some people, that's great, it means he doesn't see her any different than anyone else. However, in a country where Ravkans sometimes openly discriminate against anyone that looks Shu Han (not Fjerdan cuz they look way too similar to their southern neighbors🙄🙄), you'd think Botkin would give Alina some advice or, I don't know, impart some knowledge about their shared cultural heritage!? If you're going to portray a character as a different race than she was (implied) in the books, AND make a big deal out of it, I should think you'd at least TRY and highlight why this change was necessary or important. But, if you're not going to do that, then please don't emphasize that particular fact. Just treat her like you would if she were of Caucasian descent.

And don't give me the same-old speel about representation. As an American-born Chinese, I grew up in a predominantly white town where I only had a few classmates who looked like me. I know what it means to be discriminated against or never seeing someone who looked like me on TV or in movies. I don't like watching the animated Mulan movie because she was a Chinese princess amongst a sea of white princesses. I like her because she doesn't take shit from anyone, not even her commanding officer. However, I identified the most with Belle because we were both bookworms and saw the beauty in the written word.

As for her powers… Like I said above, I really want to see what she could do with them. Light + physics = pretty OP.

Ok, so on to some of my biggest gripes with Alina.

One. She's angry that Aleksander has kept her letters from Mal and Mal's letters from her, leading her to believe that Mal doesn't care about her. As a way to woo the heart of possibly the only girl who'll ever be your equal, definitely not the best move. But as a general in charge of an army of grisha who now has finally found the one person who could make all his wishes come true, a necessary evil. True, Aleksander is half a millennia old, you'd think he'd have learned some patience by now. Alternatively, he could just be stubborn and set in his ways because no one has been able to challenge him and he hasn't had to stop and think about the consequences of his actions in terms of the individuals it will affect in a long time. However, in terms of what he could've done (send Mal on some impossible mission that was 100% going to get him killed) (Ok, yes, so the hunt for Morozova's stag probably should've been that, but we're not here to talk about what-ifs), confiscating their letters to each other was practically not even in the top 100. So, I honestly don't get why she seemed to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Two. Aleksander didn't disclose that he was the Black Heretic and that he was planning to get the stag to be able to control Alina and her powers. I mean… would youdivulge your deepest, darkest secret to someone you just met not even a week before? Especially when it's about something as big as this. No? Point made. As to his plans for the amplifier, it's not like he could've known what the Sun Summoner was going to be like. And this goes back to my point before, that he can't see the trees for the forest because he's used to thinking in big-picture terms and what's best for the grisha as a whole, not the individual person. If you can't predict what this nebulous person is going to be like, you might as well hold all the control in your hands so as not to leave anything up to chance. Maybe Alina just can't see the forest for the trees.

Three. The above points are why (probably, most likely) why she chose Mal over Aleksander in the finale. Oh my God, I don't even know where to start. First of all, I have it on good authority (from someone who's read the books) that Alina is never Mal's first choice (and for that rant, I suggest you read the next point below before coming back to this one) but she still chooses him. When there's a perfectly good, emotionally-available, TDH man who accepts you, boils and all, standing. RIGHT. THERE. Second, this teaches young girls a bad precedent (granted, book!Darkling was a jackass so maybe not him). Why hang onto a guy who's made it clear to you, through his actions, that he'll never see you as his #1? Why waste your time, money, affections for someone like him? He doesn't deserve it and he CERTAINLY doesn't deserve you! You should only be with someone who treats you like a princess, who makes it clear to you that you have been, are, and always will be his #1. (I'm assuming the other person is male, but you don't have to read it like that. Don't @ me.) Trust me, Zhi Hua chasing after Yong Qi in HZIII scared me enough as a child and I have no desire to go through something like that in real life.

Mal: "This is why I have such a problem with Malina as endgame! If they were endgame, why is Mal always treating her like a second choice and Alina always content with the scraps he throws at her?! At least, with Aleksander, Alina was, is, and always will be his first choice and he makes it ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY clear he thinks the world of her! I thought Aleksander was the kind of guy we were taught to grab and hold on to, not some childhood bestie who always puts you on the backburner!" That's all I have to say for this one.

Zoya: I would have liked to see some complexity in this character, other than the whole "unrequited love for the Darkling". Granted, I only saw a quarter of the show, so I don't know about later episodes.

As for the Crows, I wish I had seen more complexity and character backstory from Kaz. Jesper is amazing but, my favorite has to be Inej because she's fulfilling all my Assassin dreams!

My sister claims I'm expecting too much out of a TV show that is based on a YA fantasy novel series, and maybe I am. I just want to see a well-made fantasy TV series or movie with a great cast that has amazing acting chops, beautiful set pieces, intricate costuming, and a well-written plotline with a dash of sarcasm and wit. Is that really so hard to ask for?

[alrightbookreviews]

Shadow and Bone

by Leigh Bardugo

book: 7/10

show: 9/10

Alright so i’m assuming most of y’all have heard of this book after the Netflix series came out like a week ago and are like “damn i shoulda read the book” or maybe not. but if not then idk why ur even on my blog but whatever. i read this book like a month or two ago before i even knew about the show so it was a strange coincidence for me but i was excited for the show bc the book was pretty decent. so i sat down to watch the show w pretty low expectations bc the movies are never better than the books (duh) but i ended up liking the show WAY more than the book and here’s why.

So basically, the plot of the book is this chick named alina who draws maps i guess has this friend named mal (who she grew up at an orphanage with) and she has been high key in love w him basically her whole life and he is so fucking clueless so he doesn’t pick up on it at all. but they get sent on a boat across this big black cloud thing called the “shadow fold” w spooky monsters in it. so you’re probably thinking “oh okay since they took a boat, the shadow fold must be over water” wrong. it’s over some crusty ass sand and instead of getting something with wheels they drag this big ass boat across dry land which makes 0 sense to me but okay. also i should probably mention that there are people w like magic powers or some shit but i’ll get to that later. anyways, so alina and her bestie end up on this boat goin across the big spooky cloud with some other rando people. another design flaw of the boat that really bothers me is the fact that there are EVIL FLYING MOSTERS up in this dark ass cloud and instead of like putting everyone below deck or whatever, they jus have everyone vibing out in the open for the monsters to snatch. so of course, the monsters start snatching bitches. and mal gets snatched and alina is like omg no and then she passes the fuck out. very wild stuff. so they make it out of the shadow fold somehow and alina wakes up and these guard dudes are draggin her to the fancy magic people tent. i think now is a good time to explain the magic people so ima do that. so basically there are all these people with magic powers called “grisha” which is kinda confusing bc it sounds a lot like geisha but whatever. there’s like a bunch of different powers and they all have wacky names that i can never remember so i just call them the wind people, the water people, the fire people, the heart people, the healing people, and the builder people. the names are pretty self explanatory. but then there’s this one guy called “the darkling” which is the dumbest name to ever exist omfg i laughed over it for a WHILE. so y’all can probably guess what his power is based off of his stupid name. he makes the shadows move oooo spooky. and he can also use the shadows to chop people in half. i guess. so back to the story, they drag alina to the darklings tent and he’s like “bitch u got powers” and she’s like “nah fam” and he’s like “yeah watch” and he cuts her w a knife and she lights up. like she turns into a human lightbulb. and she’s like “damn okay so like that’s what happened on the boat when i passed the fuck out” so they take her to the palace bc i guess she’s the first person to ever have that power and it’s important bc it can get rid of the shadow fold or whateva. and basically the rest of the book is her trying to figure out her powers and the darkling trying to find this deer whose antlers will amplify her power and alina complaining about living in a castle blah blah blah.

so here’s why the show is better than the book:

her friend/guy she’s in love with is so fucking toxic in the book. he’s such a bitch to her and she’s just like lol okay ily and i’m like wtf? why do u like this piece of shit? he’s just rude man. and in the show i actually liked him. he tried his hardest to get to the palace and find her after they took her away unlike in the book when he didn’t do shit and when she finally saw him again he was mad at her for some reason idk i was like bro u gotta chill. so i’m glad he was chill in the show.

the darkling’s name in the show is “general kirigan” which is also pretty lame but SO much better than the darkling. no debate.

leigh bardugo has 7 books total taking place in this little universe (the shadow and bone trilogy, six of crows duology, and the king of scars duology) and they threw some of the characters from six of crows into the show for some reason. i was a little skeptical of how that was gonna go before the show came out bc shadow and bone and six of crows take place at different times and also i haven’t read six of crows yet but omg. i loved them. it’s this little squad of this ninja bitch, some guy w a cane who is hot af and (my favorite) this gay dude who mostly just talks about a goat. they were baddies and i was so happy they made a lil plot for them and put them in the show.

and those are really the only reasons. idk. i’d recommend both the book and the show but definitely the show a lil bit more.

now it’s time to talk some shit about everyone. (SPOILERS!!)

jesper: okay something important i need to say that my mom mentioned as we were watching the show: wouldn’t it have stank like shit when jesper fucked that one guy in the stables??? like dude no. literally do it ANYWHERE but there pls and thank u.

kaz: jesus fuck make a move you goddamn pussy holy shit

inej: okay first of all the actress who played her was GORGEOUS and she’s such a badass. kaz and jesper can’t do SHIT compared to her.

alina: she lowkey annoyed me a lil bit in the show. she ended up being the one who was a dick to mal instead of the other way around and it kinda made me sad but whatever. also the antlers in her skin omfg i gagged every time i saw it it was fucking disgusting.

mal: dear book mal, go fuck yourself. dear netflix mal, ily boo <3

the darkling/general kirigan: they chose an old ass dude to play him in the show. like in the book even though he’s like hundreds of years old, he’s only supposed to look like 20 and the homeboy who played him in the show is 39. mmm no. poor little 25 year old jessie who had to make out with this grandpa motherfucker.

genya: wtf was that tall ass collar she was wearing?? made the bitch look like she had no neck.

david: 🧍‍♂️. also you traitor motherfucker.

baghra: we needed more of her. i love that crusty bitch. kinda upset that she attacked mal in the show but whatever he was fine i guess? idk i liked her a lot more in the book lol.

nina: idk who tf this bitch was bc she aint in the book. her lil plot was boring tbh.

milo: queen milo i live for you.

and that’s it. thank u for reading.

[runespoor7]

my OCs as DIE archetypes

unbearably self-indulgent rambling under the cut, sorely posted so i don’t accidentally lose them

Kaori (Legends of the 5 Rings 4e - concept: oblivious shoujo heroine with a trio): Joy Knight or Fool. From an entirely honest perspective, she’d make a fantastic Trust Knight, but no. Just no. That’s a me issue, which is a shame, because Kaori lives for the moments she can rely on her trio and have her trio rely on her and she can become more than what she is, but I can’t see myself giving up enough control to play someone who’s at their most powerful when they’re at their most trusting/admirative. She’d also be a pretty good Interest Knight. Fool would definitely work pretty well too, and is in the fact the one I’m leaning to after thinking after the other characters around. (For the rest of the PCs: Nagiko as either Fool or Emotion Knight, Satomi as Dictator, Aiko as I’m not sure, maybe Neo. Satomi or Kaori or possibly Aiko could cover Godbinder as well, i but I think it’s one of these groups where Godbinder isn’t a necessity. Satomi in particular is such a shoo-in for Dictator it seems a shame to waste her on Godbinder, and while it might be an interesting angle for Kaori I don’t want her to share Hope’s archetype.)(for the rest of Kaori’s trio, Haru obviously gets Dictator and Reiji gets Emotion Knight - preferably Trust because I have my priorities, but Fear might be interesting too. Actually Fear Knight sounds right up my alley for a character emotion.)

Hope (Werewolf: the Forsaken - concept: legacy/paragon) Godbinder (or Dictator?). Godbinder is close enough to what she does as an Ithaeur. Hope’s not exactly screaming for any archetype, though: I could see Dictator in her favored tactic of converting her enemies - it pleases her sense of righteousness and it’s more efficient, one less of them, one more of us instead of merely getting rid of an enemy - but she might be a bit too okay with relying on the Dictator’s skillset. Hope’s pack also had two much better Dictator options, as well (Duty’s not an emotion and she’s definitely not a rogue. Fool is the farthest from her, as she’s very much aiming for being a Paragon, but that might be a challenge in its own way.) [for the record, the rest of the pack: Talisha as Dictator or Emotion Knight, Sebastian as Dictator or Fool, Clara as Neo, the other Jason as Fool or Emotion Knight.]

Refrain (Changeling: the Lost - concept: groupie/behind-the-scenes): Neo or Dictator or Emotion Knight. Neo is an obvious fit, if only because the party didn’t have a lot of skulking and Refrain was a Darkling. The Fair gold angle is neat, because Refrain had an item she stole from Arcadia that was made up of other people’s important memories that she felt like she needed to return (like songs on a tape), and it’s funny to see it reversed that way. If I was giving out roles, I’d give her Neo. (Dictator for Aube, Rage Knight for Etincelle, Fool for Emilie, and a tentative Godbinder for Corbeau - another who could go Dictator easily.) On her own, “weaponized emotions” are kind of a big Thing for Refrain - it taps into the addiction focus of the Neo too. Refrain would as easily fuck up her own emotions as play with other people’s, being in control/out of control was a theme here. Behind-the-scenes/in-the-front-row. I’m not even sure what emotion I’d go with, though - all but rage-grief-loathing hold out and “adrenaline junkie who gets distracted by the pretty” isn’t an emotion, so Emotion Knight might not be fitting. (In a pinch she could go Fool, as well, because of that adrenaline thing.)

Katsue (Trinité - concept: la pointe): Dictator. Amusingly, she’s a negative-emotions Dictator, in part because she’s not the party’s friendly face, she’s the bad cop, in an aloof, biting way. Not a very efficient Dictator, in part because she’s not the party’s Face, and in part because the Dictator’s powers of overriding free will equal her own personal definition of ultimate Evil. I do think she’d be very, very tempted to use her powers, though; they’d make things so much simpler. But it’s evil, the most evil thing you can do to a sapient being. It would also, I think, be a huge source of tension in the party - I imagine at least the character who is the party’s Face would also consider the Dictator’s powers big-E-Evil, and that character also thinks Katsue vaguely worrying, so if Katsue did use her powers it would create a lot of tensions. Interesting stuff right there. As it stands, Katsue would provide the party with light combat, ironic commentary, and an atmosphere that they should distrust everything. (it’s a three-person party, and the way DIE archetypes work fall extremely oddly on them. For instance, I would absolutely cast Tamara as the Fool, but her skillset and past struggle with addiction would make her a good Neo. Nadia on paper looks like she should be the Neo, and I would cast her as that, but it’s not as interesting as Tamara as Neo. She could also be Godbinder, though.)

Chicago (Changeling the Lost - concept: amnesiac facilitator): Neo or Dictator. I didn’t manage to play them the way I wanted to, which was annoying: I wanted to play them as this intensely-connected web-weaver who always knew a guy, and who also had this disconnect (symbolized by their amnesia) and was pretty cold/put-together. Beautiful but scary. It wasn’t the right campaign for that, though, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the right player for anything “composed” unless I go pretty far on the should-be-a-villain road. Also I’m definitely sure playing a character who’s supposed to be thought of as competent in-universe makes me too nervous. Also a Darkling.

Kiran Crackernut (Changeling the Lost - concept: doomsday knight and medic): Emotion Knight, almost certainly Grief Knight. The character I made to replace Chicago when I retired Chicago but didn’t get to play long at all, a Dusk Courtier who was all happy-go-lucky smiles and “I will never regret anything anymore!”, all-out, we’re-all-gonna-die focus. Also a rare non-Darkling (Kiran was a Wizened). 

[ivory-in-rapture]

Shadow and Bone: season 1 review recap (8/10)

I did it! I watched it!

Okay, so unexpectedly this was a good adaptation. I'm gonna dive right into what I liked, and what I didn't!

spoilers ahead

So first of all, how true is it to the book?

It's pretty good. I think they stayed very true to the first shadow and bone book. There were changes and not all of them landed but for the most part, even what they changed to expand on the universe served the story well. I was worried that they would ruin the beats of the original and add tv show clichés but thankfully even what was changed eventually brought the plot back to where it was supposed to be.

They added extra Mal scenes and I think they tried very hard to build Malina up in a visual way in order to endear the fans to it. I was already endeared but I loved those scenes anyway and I just got most emotional during those parts.

Now, regarding the crows and the SOC plots: I didn't love what they did with them for the most part. I think it kind of might negatively affect whatever plot of the actual six of crows duology will be made later because the timeline is all wonky now and there's all this connection that wasn't there and it did feel a bit forced but overall, it all worked out so I'm not too upset.

I loved what they did with Nina and Matthias though. Like that entire plot was SO GOOD! I just loved their journey.

The Production:

The production was good. They did some interesting things with lighting that I really liked. The costumes, I wish were more innovative. Everything was too conventional and I wish they had taken more slavic inspiration. It was there, but I wanted more? The sets too. It could be a bit more but they stayed very safe with everything. The hairstyles, I hated. For the most part, the characters had their hair open and lose and it was so chaotic. It hurt my eyes.

Something I have beef with is the emotional deliverance of the most iconic moments of the book. What I mean is like: when Baghra tells Alina what was going on, or the "Fine, make me your villain" scene or when Alina finally unlocked her power for the first time outside Baghra's hovel(?), cave (?) or the childhood testing. Anyway, these were a bit underwhelming for me? Like I know these books are very close to my heart and I have Expectations but yeah, what I imagined in my mind was more epic, somehow. Oddly enough the emotional scenes that were added were better executed.

The actors and their acting

Jessie Mei Li was amazing as Alina. She was just great. She did an amazing job, she really embodied the character, really brought Alina to life for me. I have nothing to complain. I will punch anyone who complains about "oh why did she have this or that expression" or "why was Alina so naggy?!" She is PERFECT! Seriously, the way she cried on demand and she had that eye acting were you could see her sadness, her loneliness, her doubts... everything in her eyes and...I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. Archie Renaux also murdered it. IN THE HATERS' FACES! That boy had so much emotional groundedness in the story, like he took one shakey breath and I felt that! People better love and appreciate the hardwork these actors put in. Also these two's chemistry was great. They had less one on one time together than Darkling and Alina, I think but I think their chemistry was better than the other pairing. I'll explain more later...

Kaz was so on point. The actor just had Kaz all right. Inej was not how I imagined Inej but I think it was a good acting choice to visualize her like this because Inej was kind of stoic in the books and it wouldn't translate well on screen. Their chemistry was good too. Like every time Kaz looked at Inej, I felt it. So intense and full of yearning but also like angry silence. So good.

So I know the Jesper casting was a bit upsetting with all the "making him lighter skin" and I am upset about that too but the actor really did a great job. He was Jesper. He just embodied him so well.

Nina and Matthias were great too. They were the surprise stars for me because I had the least amount of faith in them and I stand corrected. Their chemistry (omg! there was only one bed!), their bickering, everything was great. They made Nina a bit more sexual and flirty which...I hope they'll focus more on her gremlin humor later because she was flirty,yes, but she also is a baby and I love her and I want all her aspects shown.

Choices were made for the background characters. David was hilarious, Baghra was ok, Apparat was not working for me, Zoya was good but I wish they had gone a bit sharper. she seemed a bit too serene for Zoya.

Genya. I did not like Genya. It was just all wrong for me. She was so off? Like Genya has that fake-nice-bubbly-happy-go-lucky-bimbo thing going on which is actually fascade for her traumatized and deeply hurt feelings beneath and...she was just snobby here? Idk, I just didn't feel her at all. Like her betrayal fell flat because she wasn't all that connected with Alina before anyway, so it didn't feel like she owed Alina any loyalty? It was off. I don't know whose choice it was to portray her like that but I did not like it. AT ALL.

Now...the Darkling....yeah...I um...didn't...like...it? Okay, see I know Ben Barnes is a fan favorite, like he's one of those actors who makes it in all fancast lists no matter what fandom but he was never my idea of the Darkling and it's not that he acted badly at all. He did a great job but it was just not my Darkling? Darkling is my favorite villain because he's so complex in his behavior and so ambigious and deliciously conflicting. The show didn't capture any of that for me. His charisma was all off. And like Ben Barnes can do charisma, we've seen it before but here he was just not...that. He wasn't imposing enough, or cold enough, or sublime enough. Because that's what the Darkling is. He's captivating and beautiful and grand but also scary and that mattered because his airs made the fact that he was nice to Alina, seem like it was a big deal. The show's version of The Darkling was not big enough for his attention to matter. I know part of my problem is the beard (why a beard? I hate beards!) but part of it must be the directing choices made. If they had demanded more, I bet Ben Barnes could bring more but they clearly didn't ask more. Also the chemistry between Alina and Darkling...was exactly how it should be which is not great, because:

power imbalance and also a weirdly huge age difference!

But if I was a shipper, I would be underwhelmed. Just sayin'. (Malina was SO GOOD THOUGH? Like the actors were so in sync. SO GOOD! asdfghjk)

Some random and general opinions:

The music was generic. I was hoping for something like the Winter song that Leigh Bardugo herself made for Ruin and Rising. This was not that good. It was just there in the background.

THEY SPOILED THE DARKLING'S NAME. LIKE WTF?!

There was this confused racial commentary in the show. Like everyone kept mentioning how she's part Shu and it was weird. It wasn't woke or groundbreaking. I don't even remember the book mentioning much about the Shu.

I think there were details that they got wrong. It didn't matter aesthetically but the implications...think about the implications.

I didn't like the Darkling flashback they made. I would have liked it more if they made it more ambigious. and darker.

There wasn't enough mention of the persecution of the Grisha. They tried to cheat that in the aforementioned flashback but like I said, it was a very tropey flashback so it didn't deliver emotionally.

I think they got the whole Sankta Alina stuff wrong. The book makes the religious zealot rabbit hole much more nuanced and wanky which is what it deserved. Everyone in the show just immediately went for Sankta Alina worship which felt unearned.

Having Alina and Inej meet so early on, is a crime I will never forgive. That was just so wrong. The whole point of her faith is that she never got to meet Alina.

Did I mention how well they captured Malina and how perfect they were together?

The childhood flashbacks were great. But I wanted them to separate Malina while they cried and screamed because the fact that she forced her powers to go silent just so she could stay with him, would have been that much more powerful.

I also wanted there to be specific mention of how Alina just cared for Mal so much that she repressed a part of her for years to be there but sadly it wasn't. Not that she injured herself. But that she also repressed it.

The Darkling could have been darker?

The integration of the dregs into the shadow and bone plot was as awkward as one could expect! Lol! Like the moment they met her, I figured out how that was going to go. It was okay but could be better.

But Kaz, Inej and Jesper's interactions were so cute that I forgive part of the sloppy plotting there.

I did not like where Zoya ended up at the end of the season. I think that and the fact that they scramled how Ravka realizes Darkling was evil all along, will add problems to the next season plotting.

Overall: 8/10

It was good. It could be better but it was already much better than I thought it would be and I am so grateful. Can't wait for season two.

[stromuprisahat]

I want to scream when I see this kind of stupidity...

https://www.tumblr.com/goblins-riddles-or-frocks/741136181017837568/you-said-this-the-ice-cold-fakeout-of-giving?source=share

Frankly, this obsession of people with trying to make Aleksander a potential rapist so seriously annoys me. The king is literally there for that. If Aleksander had really wanted to rape Alina like these people claimed, he could have done it, you have to stop the bullshit after a while. Especially since they don't even take into consideration that this scene where the Darkling comes to see Alina with Mal's face is ambiguous at best, completely stupid at best. Because in reality, all we know is that he appeared because she called him unconsciously and we don't even know if he really took the appearance of Mal or if Alina was asleep at a bad view... The Darkling doesn't confirm anything at all on this subject in volume 3. And if the Darkling really took Mal's apprenticeship, it's so stupid, because damn, how could he have do that ?! Exasperating. Honestly their messages make me sick, with the fact that they literally make everything sexual between Darklina in the wrong sense of the word to degrade this relationship.

First of all, I'm not reading that link.

~Self-care.~

Antis would call Aleksander a rapist even if we had his POV, where he'd openly refuse to even look at her without her consent. It's the universal EVIL label. Just like racist, supremacist or genocidal maniac.

Everyone knows it's bad, if you call someone by that word, so are they.

Child's logic.

I've analysed Alina's Mal-shifting dream here.

And if the Darkling truly wanted to rape Alina, he had plenty of opportunities:

Literally any moment she lived in LP, because who would have believed her?

He could've postponed his meeting during Winter Fete AND Alina was willing back then!

Between her desertion and the Fold. She was a fucking prisoner, treated as a guest.

He could've made her scream on Sturmhond's ship.

During any of his visits in Siege and Storm- hell, she was worried she's going mad, an orgasm from her enemy would hammer that home as nothing.

For extra dead dove content, fuck your unwilling Sun Summoner under the corpse of her toxic mother figure...

... I have a feeling raping her was never his intent.

[aion-rsa]

The Scariest Star Trek Episodes

https://ift.tt/36U1R3y

Looking for some space-based thrills and chills to enjoy this Halloween? Have no fear – or have a lot of fear, actually – Star Trek has you covered! We’ve listed 28 of the scariest episodes from across the franchise in order of just how much they freaked us out, so whether your preference is for deep space exploration, war-torn space stations, or the far reaches of the known universe, there’s something here for you.

This list excludes all of the feature films, which tend to be scarier on the whole as they’re aiming to make an impact on a cinema audience (Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan and Star Trek: First Contact have some especially terrifying sequences). It also excludes The Animated Series and Lower Decks. The Animated Series is seriously under-rated, but it’s bright, colourful style and slightly lighter tone don’t really bring the scares. Lower Decks features lots of blood, guts, gore, zombies and a giant spider to rival Shelob – and that’s just in the first episode! – but it’s basically satire, so none of it really comes across as scary.

This list is also firmly focused on spooky Halloween chills. There are many, many episodes of Star Trek from across the franchise that deal with torture or moral murkiness. We’re not looking for episodes that will make you question whether it’s possible to be a good person in a harsh universe, but for classic horror movie scares – creepy set-ups, scary scenarios, and spooky chills.

28. The Original Series: season 2, episode 7 ‘Catspaw’

This episode isn’t really all that different from the many The Original Series episodes where some implausibly powerful alien being plays dangerous games with the crew that include a hefty dose of fantasy, but the Halloween-style setting gives it a spooky vibe. Captain Kirk tries to use his sexual allure to solve the problem, of course, and completely disrupts an alien relationship through sheer force of his masculinity. But all is well in the end, though the scene where the villain uses sympathetic magic to over-heat the Enterprise as she dangles a model of it over a candle flame is pretty freaky.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Cheesy Halloween set-ups.

27. Voyager: season 5, episode 18 ‘Course Oblivion’

The idea that you might not be who you think you are has a clear existential horror to it, and this isn’t the only episode on this list based on that concept. It’s really more sad than scary as the truth of the situation is discovered about halfway through, and once the entire crew realise they’re not human after all, but recent copies of the original Voyager crew, they’re too concerned with the fact that they’re dying in vast numbers to dwell much on the personal horror of their position. Even knowing they aren’t the original crew, watching these beloved characters die one by one is gut-wrenching, and the final moments are truly the stuff of nightmares – they’re so close to help, but just can’t cry out…

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Disintegration, ship-wide destruction.

26. Enterprise: season 2, episode 4 ‘Dead Stop’

Creepiness doesn’t have to come from old houses, dark streets, and rooms full of shadows. It can also come from bright, white light and empty spaces. Threats don’t have to be immediately obvious – they can come cloaked in what looks like kindness and generosity. With creepy direction from Voyager’s Roxann Dawson, who also voices the mysterious computer, and the always unnerving theme of a computer killing organic lifeforms, this creates an unsettling vibe without the schlocky Halloween staples. Throw in a classic fake order from a convincing-sounding voice, the apparent death of a regular character (not an uncommon occurrence on Star Trek, it has to be said), and Archer’s desperate plea, familiar to all of us who’ve ever called a helpline, of “I need to talk to a person!”, and you’ve got a pleasantly unsettling hour of television.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Automated telephone helplines.

25. Deep Space Nine: season 2, episode 14 ‘Whispers’

This isn’t the only episode on this list about the horror of discovering you aren’t who you thought you were, or about a family member who isn’t their usual self. But it does offer a different, and equally disturbing, take on the idea. For most of this episode, we follow Chief O’Brien as he returns to Deep Space Nine, only to find the behaviour of everyone around him is just a little… off. The ending is tragically moving, but the bulk of the episode is increasingly disconcerting, with O’Brien unable to trust anyone or to work out what could possibly have happened while he was away. It plays into fears deeper than the fear of things that go bump in the night – the fear that your friends and family might drift away from you, or turn on you, or pull apart from you. And that’s one of the scariest things of all.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Being abandoned, your boss and colleagues turning on you.

24. Voyager: season 6, episode 25 ‘The Haunting Of Deck Twelve’

Voyager’s Borg children get a campfire story from Neelix addressing the apparently ‘haunted’ Deck 12. It’s a space alien, of course, but it has its moments providing some good scares and another opportunity for the Voyager crew to nearly abandon ship (something they make more of a habit of than they should considering they’re lost in the Delta Quadrant). The campfire ghost story set-up adds a nice sense of Halloween fun to the tale, there’s some nice character work (Neelix’s frequent fear of darkness and nothingness comes up, and his love/hate relationship with Tuvok) and there are some scary moments – after all, how do you outrun a gas cloud?

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Gas, nebulas.

23. The Next Generation: season 7, episode 19 ‘Genesis’

This one is too terrible an episode to get any higher on the list – we really can’t recommend it as an actually good episode of Star Trek. But it’s here because you can’t deny that as the Enterprise crew slowly de-evolve and regress to earlier phases of evolution from their respective species, the effects are genuinely unnerving, as well as occasionally laughable. Voyager’s ‘Threshold’ (frequently referred to as the worst episode of Star Trek of all time) similarly includes some effective body horror before it descends into ludicrousness and people start turning into lizards and abandoning their lizard babies, but is too silly to include – this one, however, hangs on just long enough to produce some real scares. It helps that the crew are de-evolving, rather than evolving into an apparently higher form.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Spiders, lizards, lemurs, and terrifying human-animal hybrids.

22. The Next Generation: season 4, episode 17 ‘Night Terrors’

One of several ‘waking nightmare’ episodes, this one is let down a bit by the somewhat unconvincing scenes of Troi flying through a weird green skyscape, but there are plenty of properly creepy moments to enjoy. Dr Crusher’s hallucination of a roomful of corpses sitting up is a standout, but Picard thinking the turbolift is shrinking in on him is alarming too, and the scraps of audio revealing what happened to the late crew of the USS Brattain, who murdered each other in the grip of paranoid hallucinations, are chilling. The science behind the idea, that we need REM sleep to be able to function, is solid, which makes the whole thing even more frightening.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Corpses, insomnia.

21. Voyager: season 2, episode 8 ‘Persistence of Vision’

Over the course of seven years, Voyager did so many episodes in which almost the whole crew were knocked out, suffered from hallucinations, put to sleep in a collective dream or otherwise mentally trapped by aliens, that they made a reference to it in season seven’s ‘Shattered’. This one is a good choice for Halloween, though, thanks to some nicely spooky imagery. It featured Janeway’s Victorian Gothic holo-novel and so her hallucinations include a ghostly little girl in Victorian clothes having a tantrum about cucumber sandwiches, which is particularly unsettling. It also features an unusually ‘evil’ and mysterious villain who has no motive other than being a nasty character and vanishes into thin air, and allows Kes to really shine at the climax, showing off her own considerable powers.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Creepy children, massive boils leaking pus.

20. The Next Generation: season 1, episode 25 ‘Conspiracy’

This episode is remembered for one thing and one thing only – the exploding head. And the alien chest-burster incident that comes right after it. Although the ending seems to hint at a wider threat, it was never officially followed up on within the series, possibly partly because this episode was so much gorier than anything seen on Star Trek up to that date. It also experienced some mutations of its own in development. What was originally intended to be a conspiracy within Starfleet was nixed by then-still-alive Gene Roddenberry as not conforming to his utopian vision. Perhaps this is why, to make up for the less psychologically disturbing conspiracy-by-alien-outsider, the production team went all out on the gore at the episode’s climax. It’s certainly memorable!

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Gore, alien chest-bursters.

19. Voyager: season 3, episode 18 ‘Darkling’

Robert Picardo hams it up gloriously in this homage to Jekyll and Hyde. The idea behind the episode, that when the Doctor patches the personalities of famous people into his program he gets their dark sides as well as their good qualities, is a neat concept and an interesting thought. The actual way these dark sides manifest is a bit bland, being focused mostly on general evil gurning and an obsession with Kes that twists the Doctor’s own genuine feelings for her into something more sinister. There was more subtlety to William Shatner’s Evil Kirk in ‘The Enemy Within’. But it does the job of providing some chilling moments, especially when B’Elanna finds herself at the mercy of the Evil Doctor.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Doctors, creepy stalkers.

18. Discovery: season 1, episode 3 ‘Context Is For Kings’

This is only the third episode of Discovery, and the first to be set on the titular ship, so it’s our introduction to much of the crew and to the series in general. At this early point, it looked like Discovery was heading in a very dark and horror-tinged direction indeed. With Gabriel Lorca as Captain, Burnham still a prisoner, and Stamets at his frostiest, the series already promised to be ‘darker’ – and then we find out the grisly fate of Discovery’s sister ship’s crew, turned inside out, their bodies twisted and mangled. The rest of the series so far has gone to plenty of morally and emotionally dark places, but for sheer scares and perhaps a little queasiness, this is the one to watch.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Gore, morally dubious Starfleet captains

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17. The Original Series: season 1, episode 1 ‘The Man Trap’

Star Trek starts as it means to go on – the very first episode to air is one of the creepy ones (and the earlier pilots are both pretty unsettling as well). The main reason it’s remembered as a scary one is the great creature design on the Monster of the Week, the Salt Vampire. The combination of gaping, toothy mouth, drooping eyes and Yeti-like body is impressively inventive. But there’s an emotional core to this episode as well, as Dr McCoy’s ex turns out to have been killed by the creature long ago. Her husband’s willing acceptance of the creature that killed her as a replacement is probably the creepiest thing of all.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Shapeshifters, the Yeti.

16. The Next Generation: season 7, episode 6 ‘Phantasms’

Another nightmare episode, but it’s not originality we’re giving points for here. The plot of this episode is fairly basic and the key concept of seeing nightmares is one we can see plenty of elsewhere – it’s not even the only ‘nightmare episode’ from The Next Generation. But the reason both appear on this list is because, while the concept may not be stunningly original, and the episodes may even be rather cheesy, the bizarre images we see in them are genuinely unnerving. The Troi-cake may be often mocked, but it really is a freaky image, iffy visual effects notwithstanding. Add to that Dr Crusher drinking from Riker’s head and a phone inside Data’s body, and you have a good set of weird images to freak yourself out with this Halloween.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Being eaten, being drunk from.

15. Enterprise: season 3, episode 16 ‘Doctor’s Orders’

One of two episodes on this list directed by Voyager’s Roxann Dawson, who clearly has a good eye for a creepy set-up. The plot has something of a connection to Voyager as well, as it’s essentially a re-tread of the Voyager episode ‘One’; most of the crew are put to sleep for medical protection while one or two, immune, crew-members are left to roam the ship alone. The earlier episode featured a longer period of isolation and a more vulnerable crew-member (former Borg Seven of Nine, who had a terror of being alone), but this one just edged it onto the list thanks to a few details. It has some welcome comedy beats breaking up the repetitive nature of isolation (Phlox wandering around naked is a nice touch) and Phlox consciously refers to the situation as a ‘haunted house’ for a reason, as it deliberately draws on classic tropes like rattling chains, dark shadows, and strange noises. Also this one includes a cute dog. A spooky story can always be enhanced by throwing in a cute dog.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Haunted houses (or spaceships), giant insects.

14. Deep Space Nine: season 3, episode 26 ‘The Adversary’

This was the third season finale, and it opens with Sisko recording “my final Commander’s log” – that’s because he’s been promoted to Captain, but it creates a sense of finality, of the closing of a door, from the start. It makes the subsequent paranoia-inducing hunt for an enemy who could be disguised as any member of the crew – a Changeling – even more tense. Odo says no Changeling would ever harm another, so you know what’s going to happen by the end of the episode, but it’s well made; claustrophobic, with echoes of The Thing and body snatcher themes (without the actual snatching). No one knows who to trust and everyone is getting trigger-happy – foreshadowing the increasing violence that would become a feature of the series as it moved towards a war storyline in the future. And Sisko has barely been Captain five minutes when he gets to play with the auto-destruct, as all Starfleet Captains love to do every now and again.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Sleeper agents, clones.

13. Deep Space Nine: season 5, episode 5 ‘The Assignment’

A lot of the episodes on this list take a classic horror fantasy trope and give it a science-fiction mask – ghosts that are gaseous aliens, witches that are telepathically powerful aliens, vampires that are after salt rather than blood. This one is a science-fiction take on demon possession, as poor Chief O’Brien is told that his wife has been taken over by a malevolent entity, but he can’t tell anyone else without risking her life and his daughter’s. Key to the whole thing is a great performance from Rosalind Chao, whose manner and bearing through the whole thing is definitely that of a new character who is not Keiko.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Demon possession.

12. Enterprise: season 2, episode 10 ‘Vanishing Point’

There are a number of Star Trek episodes where various crew-members think they’re dead and wandering the ship’s passageways as a ghost (and one slightly odd episode of Voyager, ‘Cathexis’, where Chakotay literally does so). Most focus on the impact of the apparent loss on the other crew, contemplations of the afterlife, and so on. In this episode, though, Hoshi first experiences unsettling body horror as birthmarks move and her translation skills fade, then seems to be becoming a ghost slowly, unable to touch things properly and even starting to vanish entirely. It’s far more spooky and freaky than the usual ‘out of phase’ storyline. And here’s an extra dose of horror – all this seemed to happen to Hoshi during the 8.3 seconds she was in the transporter buffer. So what exactly did Scotty go through when he ended up stuck in there for 80 years in The Next Generation’s ‘Relics’?!

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Turning invisible, matter transporters.

11. The Original Series: season 3, episode 4 ‘And The Children Shall Lead’

Before we get to the opening credits of this episode, we’ve already seen a group of children dance around happily singing a strange version of ‘Ring a Ring a Roses’ at the site of a mass adult suicide. Do you need to know more than that?! Later on, they all move round in a circle chanting a call to a ‘friendly angel’ which produces a green, translucent being wanting universal control (as usual) and they set about driving the crew of the Enterprise mad using bizarre hallucinations including premature ageing, planets that aren’t there, and so on. I mean, if that summary doesn’t creep you out, you’re either a sadistic small child or a power-mad translucent green alien yourself. As a bonus, it has a genuinely affecting ending, too, as the full horror of what happened to their parents hits the children.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Creepy children, children in general.

10. Voyager: season 3, episode 15 ‘Coda’

This episode is another “I’m dead!” fakeout, in which a crew-member – in this case Captain Janeway – appears to have died and seems to be watching their friends mourn them as a ghost. This one has a couple of twists though. There’s a time loop element with Janeway experiencing repeated deaths of different kinds in different loops. And then, just to really freak us out, a sinister alien tries to convince Janeway to follow him to the afterlife, even implying that he is waiting at the point of death for her, and everyone else, whenever and wherever she eventually dies. It seems far more likely he’s just a creepy Delta Quadrant alien trying to harvest something, somehow (a soul eater? does he eat life force?) but it’s still a deeply disturbing concept.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Death and dying.

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9. The Next Generation: season 3, episode 26 ‘The Best Of Both Worlds, Pt 1’

The Borg were first introduced in the episode ‘Q Who’, and they were fairly terrifying then. Their total lack of interest in anything they don’t perceive to be a threat ironically makes them so much more frightening than they would be if they attacked others on sight, while their cybernetic implants and collective consciousness give them a ghoulish creepiness. But however terrifying they seemed at first, they became so much scarier again when their main method of conquering was introduced – assimilation. Even in this episode, there’s not a whisper of it for most of the story – until the captured Captain Picard turns to face Beverley (and the camera) to reveal a face full of Borg technology. “He is a Borg!” as Worf exclaims. On first viewing, with no idea it was coming, it was a serious shock, and seriously scary.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Cyborgs, Oxo cubes.

8. Deep Space Nine: season 4, episode 24 ‘The Quickening’

We had to include this one, in which Dr Bashir desperately tries to help people suffering from ‘the Blight’, a fatal illness caused by a biological weapon long before the story starts. It’s not an infectious disease, but it is passed from mother to child through the generations, and society has completely reformed around it, developing a system of ritualised euthanasia as the only method they have for dealing with it. I trust there’s no need to spell out exactly what is so scary about this scenario. It’s also extremely depressing. There’s some hope at the end, for Ekoria’s baby at least, but it’s small comfort after the harrowing grimness of the rest of the episode. To be honest, we’re not sure we’d entirely recommend watching this episode right now, unless you’re in the mood for some serious wallowing. But it is definitely scary. Very, very scary.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Biological weapons, plagues.

7. Enterprise: season 3, episode 5 ‘Impulse’

Often, the scariest or most impactful episodes have the shortest cold opens. This Enterprise episode drops us straight into the action with a screaming T’Pol brought into sickbay, clearly out of control – and cut to credits. Now that is the way to unsettle an audience from the start! Jolene Blalock puts in a great, unhinged performance and the shaky camerawork all adds to the feeling of horror, so by the time we flash back one day to find out what’s happened, we’re prepped for horror. The rest of the episode plays out in classic space horror movie style, all darkness and noises and flashing lights, everyone running around looking filthy and sweaty being chased by Vulcan zombies while poor T’Pol descends further and further into madness. A 45-minute mini horror movie.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Your own strong emotions, zombies.

6. Deep Space Nine: season 5, episode 24 ‘Empok Nor’

This one is another horror movie in miniature. You know things are going to go seriously wrong when a handful of regular characters go on a mission with a collection of character who, if they were in The Original Series, would probably be wearing red shirts. This episode, in which our heroes go scavenging on Deep Space Nine’s abandoned sister station and discover some unhinged Cardassians, has got dark corridors, a diminishing cast, a regular character under the influence of psychotropic drugs becoming dangerous, and the odd jump scare. It gives Andrew Robinson as Garek an always welcome chance to play the more sinister side of the character, and keeps the tension running high throughout.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Dark corridors, slasher movies.

5. The Original Series: season 2, episode 14: ‘Wolf in the Fold’

A number of original series episodes are scary in the wrong way, for the wrong reasons. Despite Star Trek’s overt efforts to combat sexism in its own way, it was still a deeply sexist show made in a sexist time, and could be outright misogynistic on occasion (the very last episode, ‘Turnabout Intruder’, is probably the worst offender). But ‘Wolf In The Fold’ blends the rather less enjoyable creepiness of women being objectified with some properly horrifying chills. It’s implied through much of the story that Scotty might be a serial killer, which is genuinely unsettling, as it plays into the very real fear that anyone around you, someone you feel you know well, could be hiding a dark secret. While the eventual reveal that he has somehow been possessed by Jack the Ripper (who was an alien life form possessing a human, of course) offers some comfort there, the idea that a Victorian serial killer entity has been travelling around killing women for centuries is certainly frightening.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Serial killers, Scotty.

4. The Next Generation: season 6, episode 21 ‘Frame Of Mind’

Poor Riker. He’s just finished performing in a play in which he plays a man kept locked up, drugged, and experiencing a mental breakdown, and he gets abducted by aliens who keep him locked up, drug him, and force him to question what is or isn’t real, provoking a mental breakdown. What were the chances, eh?! Jumping between his usual role on the Enterprise and being a patient in a mental institution who has committed some horrible crime, it becomes increasingly difficult to work out what’s ‘real’, and in the end, just about none of what we saw was real at all – except for Riker’s very real imprisonment by a hostile alien. Jonathan Frakes puts in a wonderfully frazzled performance in an episode that will make your head spin, leaving the audience as confused as Riker is.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Mental institutions, being imprisoned.

3. Voyager: season 4, episode 7 ‘Scientific Method’

This is the one where an alien race who keep themselves invisible use the Voyager crew as test subjects for their lab experiments. The initial mystery is intriguing, but it’s after the reveal that things get really alarming. What was a frustrating and extremely familiar medical problem for Janeway, recurrent headaches, becomes a terrifying visual as we see the aliens surrounding the oblivious Captain, sticking enormous needles into her brain. Then, in one of the more chilling and uncomfortable sequences of television you’re likely to see, Seven of Nine, the only person able to see them, must then ignore them completely while they probe her as she takes the turbolift. Luckily Janeway puts a stop to it by flying right at some binary pulsars, and these aliens are so scary that actually seems like a good idea.

One to avoid of you’re scared of: Scientists, needles.

2. The Next Generation: season 6, episode 5 ‘Schisms’

There’s a recurring theme to a lot of the scariest episodes in this list – body horror. It’s what steps the Borg up to becoming even more terrifying than they already were, it’s what makes ‘Scientific Method’ so incredibly chilling, and it’s a big part of what makes ‘Schisms’ one of Star Trek’s all-time most unsettling episodes. The revelation that Riker has had his limbs amputated and re-attached is simply horrifying. Combine that with a classic alien abduction story and the incredibly unsettling, insect-like clicking noise the abductors make, and you have a properly scary alien abduction horror story to rival The X-Files (one of the biggest shows on television at the time it aired).

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Alien abduction.

1. Voyager: season 2, episode 23 ‘The Thaw’

Ranking these episodes in pure terms of how freaking terrifying they are, this instalment easily comes out at number one. Coming out shortly before The Matrix, this episode features a similar premise, that if the brain is hooked up to a virtual environment, a lethal shock within the virtual world might kill the person. But it’s taken in a very different direction, for the friendly aliens who initially went into the virtual environment to while away a long time in stasis have been taken hostage by a virtual clown and his circus troupe, the manifestation of their fears run amok. So basically, they’re trapped in an unending nightmare, kept in a state of constant, perpetual fear by a garish collection of unnerving characters. The entire episode is one terrifying set-piece after another, with a fantastically energetic performance by Michael McKean as the Clown. It’s all so scary it’s downright uncomfortable. Thank goodness for Janeway’s last minute insight into what Fear really wants – to be conquered.

One to avoid if you’re scared of: Clowns.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

The Original Series: season 3, episode 12 ‘The Empath’

A number of Star Trek episodes deal with torture, and we’ve tended to leave them off this list as they’re really more upsetting, disturbing, or tragic than chill-down-your-spine scary. This one is pretty freaky, though.

The Original Series: season 3, episode 7 ‘The Day Of The Dove’

Much of this episode is a fairly standard early Klingons episode, albeit with a mysterious glow cloud (all hail!) floating around and swords appearing out of thin air. But when Sulu tells Kirk that the dead brother Chekov has been talking about all episode long never existed, we realise something stranger is going on.

Voyager: season 4, episode 25 ‘One’

Pretty similar in concept and execution to both ‘Persistence of Vision’ and ‘Doctor’s Orders’ (and coming right between the two). Still a scary concept, though.

Discovery: season 2, episode 12 ‘Through the Valley of Shadows’

Pike’s willing acceptance of his fate – and the fact we know it’s accurate from The Original Series – is heroic, tragic, and chilling all in one.

Picard: season 1, episode 6 ‘The Impossible Box’

Think about what happens at this episode’s climax from Soji’s point of view, as the person she trusts the most reveals that she’s not even human and then tries to kill her, and recoil in horror.

Lower Decks: season 1, episode 1 ‘Second Contact’

As mentioned above, this episode features plenty of classic horror tropes including blood, guts, gore, vomit, zombies and a giant spider. Watch it for some light relief after you’ve worked your way through the rest of the list!

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(Dis)-honourable mention: The Next Generation: season 7, episode 14 ‘Sub Rosa’, aka The One Where Bev Boinks A Ghost. It’s too ridiculous to be properly scary, but there is a half-decent ghost story buried in there somewhere.

The post The Scariest Star Trek Episodes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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February Media Madness!

Hello and welcome to “see how I wasted my time” the post where I keep track of all the media I consume in a month. If you’re new here, this is mainly just my excuse to shout into the void about my feelings on things I’ve watched or read in a month. And it’s almost been a year!

Movies!

Ocean’s 8: Sandra Bullock assembles a team of ladies to steal a super fancy diamond necklace. As someone who has never seen an Ocean’s movie before, I thought this was fun. I like heists, and I LOVE jewel heists. The characters are all great, not particularly deep, but they don’t have to be. And Anne Hathaway steals the show. However, there’s a glaring problem with this movie, and it’s the fact that everything seems ridiculously easy for them, taking away any sense of tension. There’s a lot of points where things should cause significant problems but...don’t. So if you stop asking questions and just go with it, it’s a good time. 7/10

Boku no Hero Academia- Two Heroes: It’s the BNHA version of Die Hard. Seriously, All Might and a bunch of other heroes and citizens are taken hostage by villains in a skyscraper, and the most popular characters from the UA class have to save them. And it’s good. Just like the show. I’ve never gotten hyped up for this series as much as everyone else seems to, but it’s enjoyable and the movie has more of the good action and fun characters! I did feel like it went on a little long, and I wish we had gotten more of the characters doing stuff on the island instead of mainly just the villain plot. I think it’s because it reminded me a lot of the vacation arc in Assassination Classroom. But whatever, it’s still fun and worth watching. 7/10

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Awkward magizoologist Newt Scamander accidentally releases a bunch of magical creatures into 1920s New York and must round them all up with the help of lovable muggle/no-maj Jacob Kowalski. And there’s some horror movie type stuff going on with a creepy kid and Grindelwald in disguise. It’s the spin-off/prequel to Harry Potter that we all know and...love? I know some people resent this movie just for existing, but I like it. I like the creatures. I like going to new places in the wizarding world. I like Newt. I like Tina. I LOVE Queenie and Jacob, both separately and together. The plot is a little...stretched, but I don’t mind that much. And no one had the good sense to keep Colin Farrell as Grindelwald. However, I haven’t seen the second movie yet, so I should probably have my Harry Potter super fan card revoked. I honestly think that this could have been a fine stand alone movie or maybe a duology, where the second movie focuses on the backstory between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, and Grindelwald’s rise to power. I certainly don’t need five movies of this though, and I think everyone would rather see a prequel of Harry Potter’s parents in the marauders era instead. Oh well, I still like this movie for what it is. I just don’t need five of them. 7.5/10

How to Train Your Dragon 2: Five years after the viking village of Berk has accepted dragons instead of fighting them, a mysterious villain with a dragon army wants to...idk take over the world or something, so naturally it’s up to a wiry 20 year old Hiccup to stop the seemingly inevitable war. I love this movie, both as a sequel and a solid story in a trilogy. It has its issues, mainly the fact that it glorifies/glosses over absentee parents and its final act seems like it was hastily rewritten as a merchandising opportunity...but dang other than that I can’t really say anything bad about it. I’m even one of the few people who like the side characters. The time jump feels natural, and I liked seeing everything come together after watching the TV series. It also of course has great music, stunning animation, and a lot of heart and effort put into every minute. I alsothink this sequel has an interesting message about how different people view peace and war and whether or not people are capable of change. So yeah, this is one of those series that I think has something for everyone. 9/10

The Lego Movie 2- The Second Part: Five years after the first Lego movie ends with “aliens” invading, the Lego universe has become a post-apocalyptic society where everything is not awesome. And after another invasion, all the important characters except Emmet get kidnapped, and he has to save everyone from an...evil(?) queen. But really it’s a story about getting along and seeing things from other people’s perspectives. It’s fun, and it has incredibly creative music (and please for the sake of all that is good, watch the credits song). But there are times when I wished it wouldn’t lean so heavily on the...fourth wall breaking from the first movie. I felt like I would have completely understood what must be happening outside the Lego world to drive the plot, and then they would just cut to the human characters to explain everything. But it’s still a great time and hilarious as expected. 8/10

Books!

(To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before) P.S I Still Love You by Jenny Han: The second book in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy. It serves to give you a glimpse into Lara Jean and Peter’s life as a couple. It’s like a sweet slice of life anime where some notable things occur, like the hot tub video plot that was in the movie happens AND JOHN AMBROSE MCCLAREN SHOWS UP..but there’s no real plot. And that’s fine! This was a super fun read, just like the first one, and John Mcclaren is amazing. There’s really only one major problem I have with this book, and it’s Gen’s and Lara Jean’s relationship. Throughout the book LJ knows something bad is happening with Gen’s family. We know that Peter is still Gen’s friend and promised her he wouldn’t say anything, which is justifiable as something friends do! I wish we could have seen Peter trying to convince Gen to apologize or explain the situation to LJ, but it is what it is. However, we also know Gen did something truly terrible in posting the hot tub video, and literally nothing going on in her personal life or her past justifies her being a life ruining bitch just because she feels bad. So what I really wanted to see was LJ marching up to her and saying “I know you’re going through something, but you ruined my fucking life for no apparent reason, so I demand an apology and an explanation” like the boss she is. And, as anyone who watched the movie knows, Gen tries to be the martyr and gain sympathy by placing the blame on LJ because of something that happened in FREAKING MIDDLE SCHOOL!  I cannot stress enough how out of line Gen’s character is, and no amount of hastily garnered sympathy or backstory reveals will make her better. But yeah other than that, it was very enjoyable. And if Lara Jean doesn’t want John Ambrose Mcclaren, then I’ll take him. 8/10

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo: It’s the start of a new series in Bardugo’s “Grishaverse”. And yes you absolutely need to read both the Grisha Trilogy and the Six of Crows duology to read this. KoS centers around the now King Nikolai Lanstov who has been possessed by a monster created by the Darkling. Also Ravka is once again on the brink of war, Nikolai must think about getting married, and there’s a cult that wants the Darkling to made a saint. But actually, this book is split into three different stories: one following Nikolai and Zoya trying to get rid of the monster, one following Nina on a secret mission in Fjerda, and one following what's happening in Ravka while Nikolai is away. So basically, one part Nina being a badass, one part eldritch horror story, and one part The Prince and The Pauper. And it was pretty good...except for the fact that I understood almost none of Nikolai and Zoya’s story after the second half of the book. I wasn’t into the...saint business because it seemed so out of place for this series. I also feel like she missed out on some great characters meeting each other. Oh well, it’s still a great study in world building and character interactions, the ending is buck wild, and Nina continues to be a bisexual disaster...so it’s worth it. 8/10

The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis: Several decades before the Pevensies stepped through the wardrobe, young Digory Kirke (aka the Professor) and Polly Plummer are roped into a traumatizing adventure of their own. Only instead of saving Narnia, they accidentally release a younger but just as intimidating Jadis from her own dying world into London, and in an attempt to get her out of Earth, end up letting her loose in the newly created Narnia. This is probably the book with the most similarities to TLTWATW, with a truly terrifying villain, a winding but whimsical plot, and a lot of humor. Digory and Polly are the most well written children so far. They are both hilarious great characters in their own ways, and I love seeing them fight and make up like actual kids who are friends. While Digory has to go through his own redemption arc similarly to Edmund, Polly is always there as the voice of the audience telling him to not be a dumbass. Not to mention whenever he tries to get away with saying something sexist, she’s shuts him down like a badass. And there’s also a London cabby who literally tells Aslan that he’ll be king of Narnia if his awesome wife gets to come too...and there’s a horse named Strawberry that turns into a Pegasus. So what’s not to like? People may complain about all the religious metaphors and creationism, but come on lighten up. At least it’s not horribly racist, and you’ll long for the simple biblical similarities when you’re faced with the layers of religious offense in The Last Battle. 9/10

The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis (mild spoilers): The final book in the Chronicles of Narnia series, in which the world ends because a talking ape convinces a donkey to dress up as Aslan to trick all the Narnians into giving them stuff. There’s a lot more to this plot, but those are the basics. There is a TON of stuff to unpack in this epic conclusion, and this isn’t even the half of it.

This book seems like the Last Jedi for this series, in that some people are incredibly moved by it and are very happy with the conclusion our main characters have been given, and some people think it’s a pile of crap. I think there is good in this book. But, putting aside my good feelings for a second, THE LAST BATTLE IS ONE OF THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLY RACIST THINGS I’VE EVER READ...voluntarily anyway. Seriously, if you thought The Horse and His Boy was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. There are many layers of why this particular plot in the series is so offensive I could write essays on why this book should be thrown out the window. Not to mention the Susan problem. So I'll say, that even though there were good things in this book, it doesn't excuse...everything else. Also Eustace isn’t as snarky in this one...I miss my sarcastic sass boy.

HOWEVER, unlike some people, I think it was exactly the conclusion that the series has been leading up to since the beginning. I think the plot of an imposter Aslan and the effect it would have on Narnians is cool. And much like the book of Revelation, the end of the world is weird, confusing, and dark as fuck considering this is a children’s book. He invokes an amazing sense of fear and sadness, considering we just saw the birth of Narnia in the last book. And I am one of the people who loved the last few pages. It was an interesting take on heaven, theology, and the questions of “is Aslan also Tash? Is one religion better? Are all gods the same?” are dealt with very well considering that was one of the most problematic aspects of the book. I love literally all the characters you can think of reuniting in the end...except for Susan. I will say, Susan no longer being a friend of Narnia was led up to throughout the other books, and I think what Polly says about her wanting to be grown up rings true...in a sense. What we really need is a new series for Susan where she becomes a friend of Narnia again and gets her happy ending, rather than just “oh look makeup, guess I can’t be in Narnia anymore.” AND YET Lewis finally abandoned the idea of “girls shouldn’t be fighting” and made Jill a super secret ninja spy/badass archer warrior woman. So...I can’t even say it’s as sexist as the other books. There’s also a male talking unicorn who is best friends with the current king...and it kind of seems like they have a thing for each other...so there’s that.

Some people are angry that it is so religiously based and the allegories are so in your face, but at this point if you're reading the Chronicles of Narnia and are upset that there's religion in it, I don't know what to tell you. Truthfully, I thought he did the allegory for the church controlling the population very well, and the idea judgement based on whether you actively hate Aslan instead of being about how you’re either a good or bad person was so cool and different. But honestly, I just don't know what to feel. I'm happy for the characters in the end...I liked the overall idea of this final book...but man it can be super uncomfortable to the point that I don’t even want to rate it.

TV Shows!

Kitten Rescuers: Why yes, it is the incredibly wholesome British TV show about the RSPCA going around and rescuing cats from bizarre and/or dangerous situations, like being stuck up chimneys or drain pipes. And yes, it is the purest thing you will ever watch, even with My Roommate is a Cat in the running as the best cat themed show of the year. I don’t care if it seems like a big commercial for the RSPCA sometimes, I just want to see some cute kittens get their happy endings. My only complaint is that there’s only 8 episodes on Netflix, and I’m desperate for more. 100 adorable feline friends/10

Re: Zero Starting Life in Another World: You know, the anime everyone lost their shit over in 2016? The isekai where the main protagonist keeps re-spawning every time he dies in the fantasy world he is magically transported to and does nothing but suffer? But hey it has those two twin maids with the pink and blue hair in it so it’s all fine? That one. The English dub finally released the second half of the show, so I finished it. AND YES THE DUB IS ACTUALLY GOOD! And the show is fine too. But I feel like I sort of...lost the gist of why everything was happening in those last 12 episodes. However, there was a lot to like about this series overall, and yes Rem truly is best girl. I was just more invested in the first half of the series. 8/10

Honorable Mentions

I watched Christopher Robin again...and I still love it.

I read the first volume of the Tsurune light novel. It’s fine, but I liked the anime better.

Shadowhunters is back for its final...half season?

I’m currently watching The Umbrella Academy, and it’s AMAZING! I can’t wait to finish it!

The Masked Singer (U.S version) has finally ended. And now there’s a trashy hole in my heart.