#... actually it would also be kind of funny because I'm technically not supposed to be on Tumblr

[eldritch-strawberries]

Sleep deprived thought but in light of the dragon this blog is named after having been dormant for months and will probably continue to be for some time what if we re-themed this blog around pixies since our current primary fronter is one

[ellieslaces]

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU, BABY.

featuring: leon kennedy x fem!agent!reader x ashley graham

synopsis: ashley graham's biggest weakness is attractive people, especially kind, attractive people. she was not expecting to be saved by two of the hottest, kindest people she'd ever met, much less to end up crushing on the both of them

content warnings: harsh language; mentions of violence; tension; lots of flirtatious banter; ashley shooting her shot for an entire fic basically; mentions of reader being bisexual; light smut; kissing (f!f & f!m); one bed trope; forced proximity; no real smut bc idk how to write a threesome :(

notes: takes place on the way back from Spain (technically post RE4R); one bed-ish trope (r&leon share a bed, and a room with ashley); ashley is sort of confused about her sexuality; semi-established relationship (r&leon); really more of a sibling dynamic between ashley and leon (it sounds weird, but its balanced in the actual fic, i promise)

word count: 6.13k (i’m so sorry)

chloe talks: was this entirely inspired by @postersofleon ? yeah, i read this post a week or so ago and i'm losin' sleep over it. so full credits to @postersofleon for the plot! luv their lil' drabble :) also, sorry this isn't more of a threesome fic. if it were a triple female threesome, i could work with that, but add a dick into it, i'm clueless. anyways, enjoy ashley fumbling for this whole fic (luv her, i just can't help embarrassing her shes so cute). also, please appreciate this, i wrote around 80% of this while i was supposed to be studying for an exam. that’s on adhd and procrastination :)

now playing: Nohings Gonna Hurt You Baby; Cigarettes After Sex

It is entirely possible that blondes were, indeed, your weakness. Sure, over the years, you'd come to realize there was something especially alluring about lighter hair - possibly the way it reminded you of the sun, or how each strand looked like spun gold. Although, what seemed to seal your fate was the ever dangerous pairing of blonde hair and blue eyes. Oh, how alluring and damning was the color of icy blue coupled with silvery, silken strands.

For a time, you believed your weakness was encompassed only within your field partner, Leon S. Kennedy. God, how handsome was that agent. Not only handsome, but brave, and kind - awkwardly so, but it really is the principle of the thing. It was painstakingly obvious to everyone, other than Leon it seemed, that you were completely and forlornly in love with him. It seemed you were equally as blind to the evidence that Leon Kennedy was also miserably in love with you.

But the one person who noticed it upon first glance was Ashley Graham. Not only for the clear obviousness of the situation, but because the feeling was entirely, and unfortunately mutual. And it was this girl who also awoke the realization within you that Leon was not the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed person you found enticing.

Though, you were not the only one in this clandestine triad who had an impending weakness for certain types of people. No, you were not, Ashley had an Achilles heel for graciously kind people. Not just kind, but attractive. Not in a shallow or superficial way, but to say more that a person would catch her eye. She had no pre-existing physical type - no particular hair color, eye color, or even height preference. Just that they be kind. And much to the First Daughter's dismay, you were both horribly kind. In your own respective ways, of course.

Leon — as aforementioned — was awkwardly kind, despite how well he meant. He never knew exactly how to word his concern, or how to come about comforting someone. It was usually said in simple phrases such as “you okay?” or in way of one of many snarky comments he had stored in the deep recesses of his mind. Ashley thought he was funny; sometimes.

You, on the other hand, were painfully sweet to her. Always reassuring her that she was okay, and you were going to keep her safe. Field medic, that’s how Leon explained your role in her rescue. You were there to keep her and Leon healthy and in one piece, which you were startlingly good at. Any bruise or cut she procured was immediately treated by your sweet disposition and skilled hands. She liked how gentle you were with her.

So yes, Leon was kind in an awkward manner, and you were kind in a practical sense. And that devastating combination was her inevitable downfall.

From the moment you and Leon found her in that church, she knew she was fucked. Because, how could people look that good while doing the sort of jobs you had? There was no way, no way she would ever be able to form coherent sentences around you two. But, somehow, by some miracle, she got on with you both quite well. Despite the obvious moments of third-wheel-ism because you and Leon were so close.

There where multiple reoccurring occasions where Ashley suspected the pair of you may be together. Or at least fucking on the side. Because no two people who are just partners have that dynamic. The constant tension, the way Leon could be protective or even overbearing sometimes. The way you would rush to his side to patch up his wounds — no matter how small and minuscule they were — after a fight. Sometimes, despite how endearing it could be, Ashley was annoyed. Sure, you two had known each other for an extended period of time and had just met Ashley that day. But, it became so aggravating when you would consult each other without the inclusion of Ashley.

Many times you would apologize to her, expressing how sorry you were for leaving her out of conversations or hypothetical battle plans. It wasn’t that either of you thought she was stupid or couldn’t handle it. No, it was more along the lines that you were used to it just being the two of you. There was rarely ever a third party involved — other than Hunnigan chatting away in your ear pieces of course — in these types of situations.

Ashely was smitten, to put it lightly. She’d made several attempts to quote-unquote ‘shoot her shot’ with Leon. Little comments of how brave he was, how thankful she was for his saving her. Even calling him her ‘hero’ on one occasion or another. His name had posted permanent residence in her vocabulary it seemed.

However, her means of flattery with you was completely different. She was a little more bold with you, seeing as you were more of an open person than Leon was. She partook in the cliche, yet never failing flirtatious mannerisms — simple touches, giggling at your jokes, or simply sticking to your side in dangerous situations. It wasn’t that you didn’t notice, no, you just turned a conscious blind eye to it all. Ashley was a college girl, a sorority girl, a privileged girl. She was probably used to using flattery to get what she wanted, to gain the attention she so desperately thrived on.

Though as your time in the hostile Spanish village went on, you came to realize that it wasn’t superficial, Ashley’s flattery toward you and your field partner. Absolutely not, far from it. You realized after Leon had carried her to Luis’ laboratory and you managed to get the machine working to expel the parasite from her body, that Ashley was totally and completely smitten with the pair of you. She was attached in the worst way. And that would be your inevitable downfall.

Leon was consciously blind to it. Your partner — no matter his selfless tendencies and his awkwardly kind nature — was melancholic. He had a firm belief he was predestined to be miserable. That there was always another shoe waiting to drop. He didn’t deserve happiness, peace, love, a good life. So, he ignored it. He ignored how Ashley was equally as taken with him as she was with you. He didn’t bring it up, he didn’t even act like he noticed. Oh, but you did.

You saw the attachment so clearly by the time the three of you had managed to escape the crumbling island via Ada Wong’s gifted jet ski that Ashely was so attached to the pair of you. She’d offered positions on her own personal detail to you, claiming she could put a word in with her father. Denials were made, kind smiles and the shaking of heads. Too kind of an offer and you liked your jobs, is what you’d told her. That wasn’t at all what you were thinking though.

Post a Hunnigan meltdown over your earpieces, the three of you were told to stay the night in a shabby, rundown little local hotel in a larger town a couple dozen miles south of the village. Still in Spain, still tired, still craving a warm shower. One room, two beds. Great, one of you was stuck sleeping with someone. Ashely offered for one of you to have a bed to yourself, she’d sleep with the other. Not a great idea. You and Leon — having spent many awkward and difficult missions together, so this was not strange to either one of you — decided on giving Ashley a bed to herself and taking the other together

If you’d been alone, oh how your lovestruck little heart would have burst. Sharing a bed with Leon Kennedy, the object of your affection. The sole performer in your wildest — and wettest — dreams. But you weren’t alone. Ashley was in the room, a matter of feet away, in her own double sized bed.

If she hadn’t been — to be vulgar and completely honest — nothing would have stopped you from fucking him then and there. The tension between the pair of you had been growing thicker since your arrival in Spain. It was thick, painfully so, and also horrifically obvious not only to you, but yet again, to Ashley. For the longer stretch of the mission, she’d expected a grand confession at any moment. A breakdown caused by a dangerous situation that ensued a moment of emotional and even physical vulnerability. But, to her dismay and yours, that never happened. Because, above all things, Leon was professional for a lack of a better word. He wasn’t going to allow his emotions to jeopardize the mission.

And so no breakdown of emotional distress and vulnerability played out. No confession of hearts bleeding for the other were cried out. Part of you was glad it hadn’t happened that way. But the larger part of your soul which was dedicated to Leon had wished it had. You longed for the day he realized he needed you too. But, to maintain professionalism and dignity, neither of you made such admissions.

Warm showers were taken in rotation in the tiny excuse for a bathroom. The shower was small and permanently stained with grime, but really was clean as the owner swore. The shower head was one of the older ones from the seventies that made the water come out in a dribble, then a forceful rainfall that hurt your back. The toiletries provided by the hotel were small and cheap, but you were clean. That’s all that mattered.

Sans dried blood and grime, you sat on Ashley’s bed, cross legged as you patched up each one of her injuries. Ashley had been the first to shower, after a fifteen minute debate with the two of you over who should go first. She had a few bandages and exposed scrapes that needed to be re-cleaned. So, with gentle hands you did so as Leon took use of his turn to shower.

“Looks good, no signs of infection so far. But, like I said before, I can’t tell too much without the right equipment.” You reassured Ashely as you finished patching up a cut on her arm and began to put your first aid kit back together.

“Thanks,” Ashley nodded, inspecting her scrape riddled skin. Small bruises and surface cuts were beginning to make their appearance, telltale signs of the brutality the three of you had endured in that village.

“Let me know if you feel feverish or see any swelling. That could mean infection.” You offered, being kind but stern.

“‘Kay,” the girl nodded, smiling up at you as you let out a sigh, leaning back on your hands on the bed.

You looked at her, smiling softly as your head tilted to the side a little. “Need me to kiss it better?”

At this, Ashley’s eyes went wide, her cheeks dusted with pink. You felt a little bad then, you just tried to ease the tension. “S’okay, Ashley. I was just playing.” You laughed, your tone lighthearted as you placed a gentle hand on her knee with an equally gentle smile.

It seemed the touch was worst than the comment. Ashley’s entire face went aflame, her eyes wide, and large as she stared at you. An uneasy ache settled in your chest, uncertainty lingering in the air as your smile faded. The initial shock between the pair of you didn’t last long as the door to the bathroom swung open.

“Jesus, you could’ve left me some hot water.” Leon grumbled as he stepped out into the room, lips downturned and brows etched in an annoyed frown.

The three of you were now paused as Leon’s eyes fell on you and Ashely — or more-so on the hand that rested on Ashley’s knee. Reality seemed to snap into place all at once for you, yanking your hand back and standing up.

“Let me check you out.” You mumbled, clearing your throat as you picked up the first aid kit and took residence on your own bed.

“No, I’m fine. Check on Ashley,” Leon shook his head, damp blond strands sticking to his forehead.

“Already did. Just finished. Your turn, whether you like it or not.” You stated, your tone final as you looked up at Leon, brows raised.

The agent let out a huff of agitation, grumbling something indiscernible as he sat down on the bed beside you. You began to gently inspect Leon's wounds- some small, others more intense. Despite his prior hesitation to be taken care of, he was stoic about it all. He sat still, unmoving, silent as you worked to disinfect and cover each wound with fresh bandages. The silence in the room was loud, startlingly uncomfortable as you patched Leon up.

A quick glance over at Ashley as you finished bandaging a deep cut that you'd quickly stitched up on the field showed her wide eyes. Wide baby blue focused on the way your fingers gently worked, how graceful and careful they were again the alabaster tone of Leon's skin.

"Doing okay over there, blondie?” Leon inquired, a small smirk playing on his face as he spotted Ashley's startling gaze on the wounds decorating his skin. He had mistook her fascination of your hands as nervousness of his wounds. But you knew. You could tell what her gaze meant.

"Oh, yeah. M'fine." Ashley recovered very quickly, to your surprise. Well, maybe it wasn't just your hands that had her enraptured, Leon was sitting on the bed, shirtless.

"Alright, hero-boy, all better." You smiled at Leon as you patted his bicep - earning a small, almost inaudible grumble from him - and moving to close your medical kit. You stood, tucking away in your pack and let out a sigh. "’Kay, l for one, am fucking exhausted."

“Yeah, me too,” Ashely murmured, an aura of discomfort still radiating from her. She offered a kind, if not awkward smile to the pair of you before settling into the bed, pulling the overs over her shoulders. “G’night.”

“‘Night,” you smiled, shuffling over to the bed you and Leon were sharing. You sat down on the edge, eyes trained on the back of Ashley’s head — the blonde hair, how it shimmered against the dim light of the single lamp in the room. You felt almost as if you weren’t really there.

“Need me to check you?” Leon asked, snapping you back to reality. You jolted a bit, looking at him from over your shoulder.

“Oh, nah, I’m okay.” You shook your head, clearing your throat as you settled into the bed, flicking off the lamp.

“Okay,” Leon shrugged, getting into the bed too, still in just a pair of pants. Everyone was in the barest of clothing. You in a tank top and underwear — Ashely in the same. It was all you had. All your clothes were soiled with dirt, and grime, and blood.

Thinking of nothing in particular, you laid there, staring up at the ceiling of the dark room. The walls creaked every once in a while, odd drafts filtered in from cracks in the ceiling or from the window. It was too quiet. And it stayed that way for a long while.

“Everything okay with Ashley?” Leon asked, his voice quiet, as not to wake the subject of conversation.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” You mumbled back, turning your head. He, too, was on his back. Both of you too afraid to face each other in bed, seeming too personal. “Why?”

“Just making sure.” His response was quiet, a little too nonchalant, as if he’d forced it to be casual. “It was awkward earlier.”

“Earlier?” You decided to play dumb, despite knowing that Leon wouldn’t believe it. He was well aware you knew what he was talking about. The touch. How Ashley had frozen when you’d touched her leg.

“Whatever, play stupid.” He scoffed with a half smile — a knowing smile. The bastard. “Just saying, she seems attached to you.”

“Oh, and she’s not with you, her hero?” You bit back with a hint of humor. Your voices were still low, hoping Ashely was asleep — or she couldn’t hear you if she wasn’t.

Leon laughed quietly, a rough scoff sound that echoed in your ears. You smiled at little at that sound. “Whatever you say,”

You frowned, gaining the confidence to shuffle onto your side, facing him as you contemplated what that simple, yet heavy ‘whatever’ meant. “What do you mean, whatever?”

Leon sighed, rolling onto his side to face you too. His eyes, still so blue even in the darkness of the motel room, bore into yours. It seemed he didn’t carry the same awkward feeling about this topic as you did. Or, maybe he did and he just hid it exceptionally well. But knowing him, that didn’t seem right.

“She’s just attached to you. Always at your side, or chatting your ear off. And what the hell was with that earlier?” He continued, brows furrowed in their eternal frown.

“I was patching her up. Making sure none of her cuts were infected.” You half shrugged, trying to play it off as something simple, even though it was so complex.

“She looked like she wanted to kiss you or something.”

“Oh, my God,” you rolled your eyes, trying to push away the way your chest tightened at the though. “You’re so fucking dramatic. She wasn’t gonna kiss me.”

“Okay,” Leon shrugged, his tone final and casually dismissive. Like he was finished talking about it. Like he didn’t believe you but didn’t want to say so.

“She was not going to kiss me.” You pushed, voice quiet yet firm. Your own brows were pulled into a frown, like what he’d said was offensive.

But it wasn’t. Kissing Ashley wasn’t a bad thought. It wasn’t as if you’d never kissed another girl before. The first time you had was in the training program for USSTRATCOM, your training partner who made you realize that all girls don’t look at other girls that way. She was the first, others followed.

Ashley was pretty, very pretty. Tall, pretty lips, and the blonde hair, blue eye thing, of course. Kissing her wouldn’t be so bad, really. It would probably be very nice. But nothing like kissing Leon, though.

“Okay.” Leon said again, shifting to lay on his back again, letting his eyes close. The finality of it all aggravated you. So, you asked him a question maybe you shouldn’t have.

“What if she did?” You asked, eyes narrowed and trained on him. A smile bloomed on your face at the way his eyes opened, his brows furrowing deeper at your question.

“What about it? It’s not my business.” Leon grumbled. But the tone he used made it wound like it was very much his business.

“M’kay.” You nodded, quietly celebrating to the way you’d seemed to have stumped him, surprised him.

For a moment, he didn’t respond. He stared at the ceiling, and you stared at him. It was deadly quiet, the rhythmic sound of Ashley’s breathing the sole sound in the room.

“Did you want her to?” Leon asked, mumbling quietly. His eyes stayed on the ceiling, as if he were afraid to look you in the eye when you answered. Afraid you had an answer he wouldn’t like.

“I dunno.” You admitted, honestly. You didn’t know, truly you didn’t. Kissing Ashely wouldn’t be so bad, but you hardly knew the girl. Not to mention her heavy attachment to you. It could get worse if she kissed you.

Leon nodded, not sure of how to answer your admission. He laid there, your eyes on him as you laid on your side. You wished so desperately for him to kiss you, or hold you, or do something. It was painful, the thought that he didn’t feel the same.

“Would that bother you?” You dared to ask, voice so low it was almost inaudible as you spoke.

Leon was still quiet for a long moment, maybe considering whether to answer seriously or with his usual dry humor. The latter won. “Not something I’d wanna walk in on.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Why? Because we’re girls?”

“Because she’d be kissing you.” He responding, saying it lightly, like the meaning of that simple sentence wasn’t the heaviest thing you’d ever heard.

Your mind did circles, your heart raced. Did he mean that because you were his partner? Or did he mean it out of jealousy. God, you hoped it was jealousy.

“What do you mean by that?” You questioned, voice apprehensive and unsure.

Leon shrugged, a soft, unintelligible grunt falling from his lips. He didn’t look over at you, his eyes still trained on the ceiling. The nagging feeling that was ever present in your chest worsened. The silence was deafening, painful. Then, finally, he spoke.

“It’d just be weird. It’s Ashely, it’d be weird.” He mumbled, like even he didn’t believe his own answer.

Leon’s words befuddled you, made you frown in contemplation. “Because it’s Ashley? What you mean by that?”

“I mean it’s Ashley. It’d be weird.” He repeated, not clarifying at all. This annoyed you.

Eyes narrowed, lips in a line, you scoffed. “Thanks for the explanation.”

“Anytime,” Leon clipped back playfully. But you were in no playful mood.

You huffed, Leon picking up on your attitude as you sat up in bed. “Seriously, what’d you mean by that?”

Leon let out a scoff of his own, rolling his eyes as he looked over at you. “I mean it’s just a weird thought. You and Ashley. We, we just met her, okay?”

“Oh,” you nodded, wishing you hadn’t jumped to your own conclusions internally. You’d thought he meant it was weird because she wasn’t him. Or maybe that he wanted to kiss you. Not such a simple and obvious answer.

“Yeah,” he nodded, letting out a small sigh to stifle a yawn. “Look, can we get some sleep now? Kinda have a long trip home tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” You mumbled, lying back down on your back, eyes on the cracked ceiling once again.

It was quiet again, the discomfort of silence present once more as Ashley slept in the bed next to yours, and Leon tired to sleep beside you. Your mind buzzed with a thousand variations of the same question: why did Leon actually care so damn much?

“Go to sleep. You think too loud.” Leon grumbled, shifting to lay on his side, back facing you.

“At least some of us think,” you quipped quietly, earning a scoff of a laugh from him before he went silent for the final time that night.

Of course Leon woke up at dawn. The asscrack of fucking dawn. And it wasn’t like he was quiet either. Shuffling of his feet as he stumbled to the bathroom, the sink creaking on. You tried so hard to stay asleep, but your stupid internal alarm clock was ringing too. Oh to be in D.C. where it was still dark.

“C’mon, get up. We need to get moving.” Leon said, his voice somewhat gentle as he rested a hand on your shoulder once he’d emerged from the bathroom, fully changed.

“I’m up. You’re loud.” You mumbled, voice muffled as you pressed your face into the pillow.

“Jesus,” Leon whispered under his breath. “Even Ashely’s up.”

“Good for her,” you nestled deeper into the pillow, hearing a second set of footsteps head toward the bathroom. Less than five short seconds later, Leon yanked the covers from your body, sending a muffled yelp from your lips.

“Up, we need to move.” Leon said again, giving your leg a small shake as you grumbled on about a lack of sleep. His gentleness was gone now, replaced by urgency.

Technically, you were still on ‘enemy grounds’. You weren’t safe until you were back on U.S. soil, and even then there carried a risk with Ashley in tow.

So, with more sour encouragement from Leon, you got up and changed into your now dry clothes. Once Ashely used up her turn in the bathroom, you took yours. And not long after, the three of you were heading back toward the lobby of the shabby motel.

You managed to convince Leon to stick around for an extra thirty minutes for a shitty cooked breakfast in the sad excuse for a dining room where the motel offered complimentary breakfast.

Once full of frozen scrambled eggs, stale toast, and really bad coffee, the three of you were on the move once more. It was tricky, getting home like this. Hunnigan had promised that of you made it to a certain location a few miles north of the motel, there would be a chopper waiting to pick you up. Hunnigan hadn’t failed you yet, so you didn’t doubt her.

“How much further?” Ashley asked, her brows creased, forehead already glistening with sweat as the three of you walked through the winding streets of a small village as you had been for the past few hours.

“Not too much. Tired?” You asked, slowing your steps to walk alongside the girl.

She nodded, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Sympathy panged in your chest — Ashley wasn’t built for this like you and Leon were. The two of you had trained for exhausting situations such as these, she had not. You frowned.

“Need some water?” You asked gently, holding out a canteen from your belt. Ashley nodded vigorously, taking the canteen and drinking deeply.

You motioned to Leon to stop for a moment, he frowned, but did nonetheless. You stood with Ashley as she drank, taking a break before going back to drinking the water.

“Thanks,” she smiled, handing the canteen back to you — now half empty. “Sorry, I drank a lot.”

“That’s okay. Can’t have you passing out on us now, can we?” You smiled, taking a sip yourself before latching it back on your belt.

Leon, noticing that Ashely was finished with her break, began walking again. You and Ashely followed, keeping a small bit of distance between you and Leon.

“Hey, I um, I overheard you and Leon talking last night. Not everything, but some of it.” Ashley confessed, her voice a bit hesitant.

“Oh, that so? What’d you hear exactly?” You asked casually, worry springing in your chest.

“Just, I’m sorry because I know you guys have a like, groove or whatever. And I mess it up and I make it weird.”

You frowned for a moment, thinking about her words. Then it hit you — she didn’t hear about the kissing discussion, just the last bit about her being new to the trio.

“Oh, Ashely. You don’t make anything weird. Leon and I… we weren’t talking about you making things weird.” You promised, lips curved downward as you and Ashley walked behind Leon.

“Then why’d Leon say that?” Ashely asked, the insecurity obvious in her voice.

You hesitated, unsure whether or not to say it to her face. That he’d thought you two were going to kiss. After a moment of consideration — and seeing Ashely’s sad, curious eyes �� you decided to just say it. Consequences be damned.

“Because he thought you were going to try to kiss me. When he came out of the bathroom last night.” You explained gently, shrugging as if it weren’t a big deal. When it kind of was.

The girl was quiet for a long moment, her brows creased, lips turned downward. She swallowed, looking back at you from where she’d been staring at her feet. “And he meant it’d be weird if I did kiss you?”

“Yeah, that’s what he meant. Not because we’re girls,” you were quick to interject your previous statement. “But because it’s just… that you and I don’t really know each other that well.”

Ashley nodded, walking beside you as you followed Leon along the uneven stone paths. Every once in a while, he’d glance backward to make sure you weren’t lingering behind or somehow gotten lost.

“Okay,” one simple word carried such finality. It shook you — Ashley was uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird. I just wanted to be honest.” You tried to explain gently but firmly. You didn’t want her to think you were strange.

“You didn’t make me feel weird.” Ashely shook her head, eyes squinting in the mid-afternoon sun as she looked over at you.

You smiled a little, relieved you hadn’t put her off or made her uncomfortable. That really was the last thing you wanted. “Good,”

The three of you continued to walk along, and a little further up, you demanded a break. Leon huffed, claiming you didn’t have time for a break. But the sun was warm and you were quickly running out of water.

So, you stopped for a quick fifteen minutes before setting off again. Leon was walking much quicker than before — dead set on getting to the extraction point before sundown. Which was very much possible as you were a mere four miles away.

There was a chopper waiting, just as Hunnigan had promised. God, you’d mentally decided to name your first born after her, so thankful to finally leave Spain and sit your ass down.

You sat beside Leon in the back compartment of the chopper, all three of you sporting massive headsets to protect your ears. You chatted away with the pilot — a friend of Hunnigan’s named Danny who was funny, and reminded you of the late Mike who died in pursuit of getting you and Leon out of trouble in the village.

With the promise of a good meal and actual hot showers, Danny flew the three of you home. You were busy looking outside the chopper when Leon nudged your knee with his, earning a slightly venomous glare from you before he pointed to Ashley. Who was dead asleep across from you.

The ride back to D.C. was long, around six hours. Most of which were spent talking with Danny or falling asleep, slumped against Leon’s shoulder. Around twenty minutes before you were set to land — you and Leon had been previously discussing what you were doing first, eating, sleeping, or showering — you shook Ashley awake.

The poor thing was groggy and half asleep as you all filed off the chopper and bid goodbye to Danny — whom you’d made a promise to meet up with and have drinks in honor of Mike at his favorite bar he’d mentioned before he tragically died.

A government issued SUV waited for you, instructing the three of you to pile into the back so you could be taken straight to the President, then to testing. Which you put up a damn good fight. Who the fuck cared about testing? You were hungry and tired and dehydrated as hell. Leon shut you up quick though, despite not being happy about the arrangement himself.

Unfortunately, the car ride was around a half an hour. The driver — not as intimidating had he’d first appeared — flicked between radio stations ntil he landed on one he knew was Ahsley’s favorite. (Apparently he’d been the one to drive Ashely to college, so he knew what music she liked).

Much to Ashely’s dismay and deathly embarrassment, the fucking Backstreet Boys were playing. The driver turned it up, also having the knowledge that this particular track was one of Ashley’s favorites.

Unfortunately, you knew the lyrics too. You mumbled along with them, Leon biting back a smile at how ridiculous his own field partner could be.

“You like the Backstreet Boys?” Ashely asked, her cheeks a bit warm as you bopped your head to the beat and hummed along.

“Nah, but don’t be embarrassed.” You shook your head, smiling at the girl who was sitting between you and Leon.

“Music is music, blondie.” Leon agreed, nodding his head with your positive attitude. He looked back over Ashely’s head at you, trying hard not to smile at your antics. God, you could be so stupidly immature sometimes.

“Oh,” Ashley mumbled, slinking down further in her seat as the driver made the final turn and parked the SUV.

Leon exited first, then Ashley, and you to follow up the rear. You and Leon were armed, still charged with protecting Ashely, no matter the fact that you were indeed on U.S. soil again, and at the White House. The President didn’t greet you outside to your surprise, but you were ushered immediately to his office.

There he was reunited with his daughter, the emotional moment making you have to quietly clear your throat because it even choked you up to see Ashley so happy to see her father again.

You and Leon were thanked profusely, promised your compensation and the highest of honors and awards. To which you didn’t really want (except the money, fuck, you wanted the money), but you knew better than to even try to deny.

With that, you and Leon were quickly dismissed, told you were being led to government testing to be sure you really were clear of the parasites. You gave Ashley a quick goodbye smile and hug, Leon giving her a pat on the shoulder, telling her to behave herself.

She looked so unsure, so strange standing in the Oval Office, clothes grimy and blood stained, hair mussed as she watched you and Leon being escorted from the room.

The First Daughter felt a strange sort of emptiness in her chest then, watching you leave. Her brows furrowed as her father spoke incessantly to her about how worried he’d been and how much he missed her. You were agents, assigned to bring her home and leave. No more, no less. So why was she so devastated to see you go?

Of course, you felt a little sad to leave the girl behind. Despite spending only around forty-eight hours with Ashley, you found yourself realizing you’d miss her. Her smile and her comments and her laugh. The way she always asked if you were alright when you should have been doing so to her. How she tried her hardest to defend you and Leon, despite her chronic helplessness.

These things were not spoken to Leon though as you two walked out of the White House together, followed by guards back to the SUV you’d arrived in. But, even though you didn’t say it, you knew Leon felt it too. Somehow, in forty-eight short hours, Ashley had left a mark on you. The both of you. And you missed her already.

“Wait!” You stopped in your tracks, you and Leon almost simultaneously looking over your shoulder to see Ashley running out of the White House after you. She was panting, trying to catch up.

She ran to Leon first, wrapping her arms around his neck, taking the agent by such surprise it made him stumble backwards a bit. Leon wasn’t much of a hugger, you knew this personally. But, despite the action being hesitant and awkward, he hugged her back.

After a few moments — which you knew in your bones were long for Leon — he gave her a quick pat on the back. Ashely took the motion in stride and unlinked herself, smiling at him.

Then, she turned to you. Of course, you expected a hug as well, and you got one. She wrapped her arms around your neck too, you wrapped your arms around her middle, hugging her back with no hesitation. But what you hadn’t expected, was for her to lean back and press a kiss to your lips.

You paused, frozen, eyes wide as Ashley kissed you. What the fuck? She wasn’t a bad kisser, actually. You felt a little bad, not kissing her back as Ashley pulled away, letting go of you and taking a step back. You sort of wished you had kissed her back. But, as the girl stood there, she held no contempt for the fact that you hadn’t. She knew she’d taken you by complete surprise.

“Thank you, both of you. I know I already said it, but thank you for saving my life. It, it means a lot.” Ashely said, her lips — which had been as soft as you thought they were — curved in a sweet smile. Baby blue eyes darted between you and Leon.

Leon who was as shocked as you that Ashley had kissed you with such little hesitation. He was still recovering as well.

Ashely said no more, just offering one last wide smile before turning around and walking away. Her guard — which had followed her outside, running behind her — escorted her. She didn’t even look back, didn’t get a second look at the still shocked look on your face.

“Holy fuck,” you said finally, looking away from Ashley’s retreating figure to look at Leon. He was shocked as well, brows raised as he blinked for a moment.

“Yep, that was weird.” Leon mumbled, nodding as if in affirmation. He said no more, turning around and walking to the SUV, leaving you in momentary silence.

You blinked yourself back to the present, realizing Leon’s comment. You frowned, turning and quickly walking to the SUV as well. “So I didn’t just have a dehydration induced hallucination? She actually kissed me?”

“She actually kissed you,” Leon nodded as he buckled in the SUV, you climbing in and sitting beside him. The car started and rolled out of the parking lot.

“Oh my God.” You said, brows raised, shaking your head. You were unsure of what else there really was to say. You were at a total loss for words.

“Fucking weird.” Leon shook his head, whispering again.

This caused you to look over at him, brows raised. “Why? Because we’re girls?” You brought up your challenge from the previous night, knowing full well you’d get the same damn response.

“No, because it's you.”

You frowned deeper, lips downturned. Oh, you liked a good fucking challenge. “You think I’m like, un-kissable, or something, Kennedy?”

Leon rolled his eyes, exhaustion obviously catching up to him. He looked tired — physically and mentally. “I didn’t say that. It’s just weird.”

“See, that’s not an explanation. Just like it wasn’t last night.” You chided, eyes narrowed.

“Christ,” Leon mumbled under his breath as shook his head, clearly regretting ever speaking in the last five minutes. “It’s just weird to see my partner being kissed like that.”

You took this as your chance, a grin forming on your lips. “By another girl? Or just in general?”

“General.” Leon responded, obviously not caring of how bored it sounded.

“Jealous or something?” You challenged further, lips pulled in a shit-eating grin.

Oh you’d gotten him there. You could tell by the way Leon’s shoulders tensed and his too casual expression that he was, indeed, sickeningly jealous. An idea — stupid, one that may ruin your dynamic — popped into your head.

You turned your body to face Leon in the backseat, grinning as he frowned at your sudden closeness. With no hesitation or moment for him to react, you leaned forward and kissed him. Square on the mouth. It must be a thing for blondes to have really soft lips.

Leon didn’t say a word, didn’t pull back, didn’t move. He just let you kiss him. Which was strange in and of itself. You placed a hand on his cheek, him a hand on the back of your neck. Eureka, he’d wanted to kiss you all along. Fuck yes, that’s all you could think.

Leon was a decent kisser too, a really good kisser actually. You scooched a little closer, allowing him to hold you by the back of your neck, your body relaxed against his as if it were natural to do so.

Was this what Ashely was feeling when she’d kissed you? Absolute elation and joy? You didn’t let yourself wonder too much, getting swept up in the fact that you were kissing Leon. His hand was gentle yet firm on the back of your neck, your hand on his cheek drifting down to rest against his chest. This moment, God you wished it could last forever.

Which unfortunately, it didn’t. You heard someone clear their throat, the driver looking at you through the rear view mirror. You pulled back, cheeks a little warm. You must look like some sort of girl. Someone who got around maybe. First the First Daughter had kissed you, now you were verging on making out with your field partner in the backseat of a government vehicle.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, pulling away from Leon and sitting back on the seat.

Leon scoffed to himself, letting his hand fall from where it’d been resting on the back of your neck. “You’re stupid,”

“Excuse me?” You let out a small laugh. You’d kissed him and he was calling you stupid? What the hell?

“I can’t believe it took you that long to realize.” Leon shook his head, making you roll your eyes. He’d been jealous the whole time. So the comment of how weird it’d been that Ashley would kiss you — and actually had — was exactly what you thought. Huh, you were some amateur detective.

“Shut up,” you smiled, mumbling as you crossed your arms over your chest, sinking into the seat.

“Nope.” Leon shook his head, making you smile wider.

Maybe these tests wouldn’t be so bad, now that you had two kisses to think on. One you could only ever remember, and one you could receive a million more of once all this was over.

how you can help Palestine! 🇵🇸

[meanbossart]

Alright, I am like 90% sure there is ONE line in A Novel Experience touching on Gale GTFOing rapidly, so I don't think there are answers in there for me. So I come to you and ask-WTF went on between Gale and Drow???

Alright, so

There are two versions to what happened to Gale in my first campaign (the OG DU drow campaign that this whole universe is based around), lets begin with the technical version. As I've only somewhat recently come to understand, my Gale was bugged. I had 1 interaction early in the game that slightly veered into romance which didn't go anywhere, and first chance I had I clarified that I was not interested in him that way (the whole reason why It happened in the first place was because i misunderstood his dialogue). Despite this, and despite me turning him down in every romantic interaction following, I kept getting them and my interactions with him were as if we were romantically involved. I even got one exchange (the one about muscles glistening and cheeks flushed) twice, and rejected him both times.

So, later in the game once DU drow and Astarion sucessfully 5d chess-ed their way into falling In love, I was surprised to still be informed i had to "break things off" with Gale if I wanted to get with him. Which I did. And he gave me a whole spiel about it.

Now it's crucial you understand this was early in the game's release, I went into it completely blind and I had never played a game like Baldur's Gate before, so I was not familiar with the mechanics at all, which... Kind of led me to believe Gale was just like that normally.

From that point on I was highly amused, but for roleplaying purposes I decided my drow would have been highly annoyed and a little creeped out. And so I proceeded to be extremely rude to the guy at every chance I got. This eventually resulted In him pursuing the crown of Karsus despite me (rudely) telling him that was a very dumb idea.

The second version of what happened, as I already touched on above a little bit, Is the Narrative one. As I mentioned I had no clue what was and wasn't supposed to happen, so I just... Went along with it within the role-play.

So our beloved DU drow gets worms. He goes on a grand adventure with this weird possy of people to find a cure. When the tiefling party comes everybody except Astarion wants to get into his pants (because I left him on the beach for like a week and then proceeded to be The Rudest to him, sorry babe, I didn't see your pale ass and the asshole dialogue options were Really funny).

Someone else who Didn't seem to wanna fuck him was the wizard. He said he just wanted to show him a magic trick and he (and, I'll admit, me) really thought that was just that. The scene unfolds, Gale tries to teach DU Drow to cast a spell but his 9 intelligence says No. The unsolicited date ends abruptly because Gale is upset that a champion fighter without a single cantrip makes for a shitty wizard. DU Drow thinks thats the end of that - It's Not.

Then what proceeds to happen is a long, annoying, somewhat unsettling dynamic where Gale continually tries to pursue him throughout the game, coming to the point where the guy I'm Actually interested in thinks we are together - and when DU drow tells him verbatim that he had no idea they were even a thing in Gale's mind, he has to hear him whine about it. Add to that the fact that all Gale talks about is his ex-girlfriend, DU drow is (kind of justifiably) led to believe he must be a Profound weirdo to whom he cannot ever say even a Neutral word to again lest he becomes any more infatuated with him - 0r whatever the hell is going on.

Whether it be DU drow's own inflated ego or the actual truth, when Gale begins to pursue the crown he also assumes he's just doing it to spite him - so he isn't the kindest to him about that either.

And within this narrative that I concocted around a simple bug that didn't let me end a romance, I cannot imagine Anyone getting on particularly well with Gale within my main party. Drow thinks he's madly in love with him, Shadowheart is probably a little confused but she trusts DU Drow's word on the matter more than the Wizard's, Astarion thinks... What Astarion thinks.

So, no, they didn't part on the best of terms.

Before anyone gets mad, I assure you - I've completed the game again since then, I realize this is Not the intended Gale experience. He's a hysterical and deeply interesting character and only Slightly clingy and weird.

But, you gotta admit, this is way funnier.

[leresq]

Fnaf movie notes, spoilers ahead:

First off, fuck Scott Cawthon, let's just say I didn't watch the movie in theaters or on a streaming service.

What I liked:

Matthew Lillard actually looks like William Afton

The "Talking in Your Sleep" cameo was the best one of the movie, next to "I have a theory"

Cory was funny, as expected

I liked how they made the animatronics just kids, they want a friend.

The way the animatronics moved was great, I just wish we could have gotten a foxy running scene.

The cinematography and set design inside the pizzeria was great, and everywhere outside felt very real.

The animatronics were cute when I was supposed to like them and foreboding when I was supposed to be scared of them. I don't know if they physically changed the suits but it works.

Mike's actor was actually pretty good at looking distressed or upset.

I just want to hug the animatronics they are so cute 🥺🥺

The animatronics weren't sadistic, when they killed someone it was because they were trying to get them out or away. Just like if an actual little kid had that power, they wouldn't be cruel or even want to kill anyone, they just don't understand their own power

There actually were five nights!

Springtrap wiping the knife is a reference to Scream, where Matthew Lillard played Ghostface, who is known for wiping their knife after using it.

BALLOON BOY

What I didn't like:

You're telling me they named their main character Mike and they didn't have Afton go "MIKE! MICHAEL!!! MICHAEL DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!!!!! *MICHAEL!*

Vanessa was a nothing burger, even when her motivation was revealed it wasn't that good. I think it would have been better if they set up that she was working with Afton

Golden Freddy was everywhere but they didn't namedrop the kid once, and it was so inconsistent. He's here, he's not here. I'm assuming it's a combination of Cassidy and the Crying Child.

Afton's connection to the story is flimsy. Why was he pretending to be Raglan? I'm assuming it's so he could get night guards to toy with, that's why the animatronics killed the intruders but not Mike.

It's kind of weird thinking about the logic of how Afton killed Mike's brother, and gave his daughter the plane. Just seems a little bit of a stretch.

Even though I hate excessive gore, I thought there wasn't half as much violence as there should have been. I guess the PG-13 rating constricted a lot.

It takes a broom to activate what I'm assuming is a Circus Baby reference springlock, but Afton can jump around in Spring Bonnie.

The only Purple Guy reference we got was a purple tie. They should have made the security vest purple.

Questions

How is the cupcake sentient?

How does Afton control the kids?

Who cleaned up the blood of the four intruders? I'm guessing Afton but I wish they'd made it more clear

Why didn't Afton send out the animatronics on the first night? Even if he wanted to kill Mike, he seems like the type to psychologically torture people beforehand.

Why was there an "it's me" note? I get the reference, but why? Is Mike's brother here?

What's the Freddy mask with the saws inside? I know Afton uses it to kill people but why does it exist?

Why does Balloon Boy exist? Do the toy animatronics exist in this universe??

Why doesn't foxy have a tail?????

Favourite character: Foxy

If we get a sequel I hope we only get one or two. I don't want a whole cinematic universe. Finding ways to watch 12 movies 'other ways' will get complicated.

Also when the casting was revealed, I didn't know who Matthew Lillard was and someone told me he played live action Shaggy, so I didn't know he played fuckin STU FROM SCREAM until I watched the movie, so another cameo technically, just only for me

[literarystarfish]

Hii!! Just read your post- I'm new to actually posting whump as well!

I'm not sure if you're taking requests (just read that people are free to send you asks I think) but if you do, how about a stoic whumpee mixed with some hurt/comfort? 👀✨

I'm asking because I saw you liked those prompts, and I like them too! ♡

Have a great day!!

@f1sh-bone

I never really thought of doing requests since I'm a slow writer.

But I've been writing a story about a team of characters (technically they're in a superpower-fantasy world, but none of that really comes into play here) and this request kind of fits with them.

This is something I thought of immediately with your request so I hope you don't mind, since it's probably not anything like what you were expecting.

This also turned out much longer than I expected— its about 3200 words worth... whoops!

None of the characters have names yet in the story, so l've been calling them by character traits. (Aka: Strong, Funny, Leader. Its so very on-the-nose but they haven’t told me what their names should be yet so it’s how I’ve been writing them)

Warnings: Some hurt/comfort for ya. Past whump briefly mentioned. Injury. Sickfic-y (briefly at the end), some cursing (I also hope you don't mind that)

Again, I hope you don’t mind this is what I’ve come up with for your ask. But thank you for the inspiration 🙏 (sorry it took so long too, I have an incessant need to reread things I write about a million times before I post them so it took even longer. Hopefully that means it doesn’t have any crazy errors, though)

Enjoy~

---

It's fine. They’re fine. This is ridiculous! They’re supposed to be the strong one! They’re supposed to be the one everyone can lean on! How are they meant to do that when a damn nightmare scares them like a child??

They sit on their bed roll in their team’s makeshift camp, shoulders covered in their thin travel blanket, shaking. Utterly falling to pieces. Over nothing more than their imagination. A dream. 

Their entire body ached. The injuries they’d sustained the few days prior in the battle against the person the team were still chasing (after Strong’s incredible failure that cost them their target and had their teammate, Sunshine, sustaining terrible injuries that they’ve only recently awoken from— in good spirits at least— that morning) remained unattended. They’d refused treatment, claiming they hadn’t amassed injuries of worry, though the gash on their thigh might suggest otherwise. The same injury that stubbornly refused to stop bleeding no matter how tightly they tied the strip of gauze they’ve called a bandage around it.

They weren’t the one that needed the precious first aid resources they had remaining. If anything, Sunshine deserved it more than them! If it hadn’t been for Strong anyway, they wouldn’t have gotten hurt!

But their hand that they had gripped tightly over their mouth kept their desperate whimpers from escaping. From both the throbbing pain of their leg and the terror that shook them to their core. The walls of the five tents littered around the camp were thin. The team would surely hear any of the pitiful sounds they made.

Whimpers! God, how humiliating. Pathetic. 

They’ve been nothing but a hindrance lately, and now they can’t even be strong and push through a fucking nightmare. Sure, it was a nightmare of already dark memories of the past, twisted into something even more terrifying and impossibly monstrous, but that’s all it was! Memories. Not something that could hurt them. 

Being strong is all they’re good for! And now they can’t even do that right!

Useless. 

Strong no longer slept that night, deciding that forcing themself to stay awake to avoid the shame of being scared from slumber by their own, overreacting, ridiculous mind again was best. 

They, instead, took over the camp watch from Leader, who looked at them curiously when they had emerged from their tent. 

“You’re not asleep yet? It’s barely midnight.”

“Musta set my camp on a hard patch. Can’t sleep.”

Leader eyed them with disbelief written all over their features, but didn’t argue.

“Well it’s my night for watch. You can take my bed. It was comfy enough, as far as sleeping on the ground can be.”

“Why don’t you go. I’ll take watch.”

Leader raised their brow, still unconvinced. “You sure?”

“Positive.” Let me be useful for something, they didn’t dare say aloud. 

“Is something wrong?” 

Curse Leader for always having an uncanny ability to read them when no one else ever can.

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Nothin’ to talk about.”

Leader paused for a moment, just watching them with a carefully scrutinizing look. 

“Are you going to watch me or the camp?” Strong’s joke fell as flat as their tone. Leader rolled their eyes teasingly. 

“You’re impossible, you know that?” It was said with a smile, no real heat behind the words. 

Strong didn’t reply. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to take watch? I don’t mind. Really. It’s my shift anyway.”

“You’ve been watching over Sunshine. I know you haven’t slept much the past few days. Go. I’ll be fine.”

Leader yawned then, as if confirming Strong’s statement. After their entire body shook with the force of it, Leader gave a sheepish smile. 

“Yeah. I suppose you got me there. Come get me if you need to rest or anything.” 

Strong nodded in agreement as Leader stood and placed their hand on their shoulder as a sign of goodbye. It was comforting, the weight of it. More comforting than it had any right to be. But with the residual fear still creeping in on their mind from their nightmare, it was. 

Strong wouldn’t allow themself to miss the feeling of Leader’s warm hand when it left them. 

The rest of the night, Strong sat guard, watching over the camp with a watchful eye. Sometime though, when the sun was just about to begin peeking above the horizon, right when Strong knew it should be getting warmer, the temperature dropped. 

They sat, shivering, desperately wishing they could get even that threadbare travel blanket they usually cursed for not being warm enough in the winter. 

It wasn’t winter, though. It was solidly in the midst of spring, closer to summer than winter. The air was meant to be getting warmer, the sun shining brighter, the days growing longer. The nights have been pleasant lately. 

So… Where has this chill come from? 

Even once the sun had truly risen, the air seemed to be colder. 

Soon the others emerged from their tents. They each gave a morning greeting to Strong, though they looked confused to see them instead of their leader, as they expected. 

Even Sunshine, with the help of Intelligent who kept a tight hold on them, made their way out on shaking legs to sit by the fire Funny, their other teammate, was building. Leader was last to come out, clearly seeming much more rested.

At least that was one good thing you’ve done, Strong couldn’t help agreeing with the mean voice chastising them in their head. 

“Good morning,” Leader called to them with a smile.

“Morning,” their voice rasped out. Leader came over to them, concern in their eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Just.. morning voice,” Strong couldn’t ignore the incessantly scratchy feeling of their throat, no matter how much they swallowed. 

“Right… Why don’t you come by the fire. I’ll make breakfast.”

A violent shiver tore down their spine. They knew Leader must have seen it. 

“I… I’m actually going to go get some kindling. I won’t be far. Call for me when breakfast is ready.” Strong stood, ignoring how unstable they suddenly felt on their feet. 

God, why did their leg have to start throbbing now of all times.

“We have plenty of firewood for breakfast at least. You should go sit.” It was not a suggestion. Though it was phrased as one, Leader’s tone told Strong it was more of an order. 

“No… I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” By now, everyone had caught onto the Leader’s stern “leader voice”, as Funny always called it. Curious eyes were on the two now. Strong was rarely on the sharp end of the “leader voice”. They all watched silently as the conversation continued. 

“I am. I’m going to get more. Last night you had told Funny to gather more when they woke up this morning anyway. I’ll do it instead.” 

Strong turned to make their way into the woods they’d been watching all night. Leader put their hand on their shoulder to stop them. 

It wasn’t as comforting as last night. 

“You’re not well. Go sit by the fire.”

“I am.” Frustration welled up within Strong’s chest that Leader wouldn't drop it. 

“Strong, I will not ask you again.”

“I’m fucking fine. Let me help!” The eyes of the others staring daggers into them grated at their nerves. That the others might be seeing their weaknesses like Leader does. 

“You’ll be no help at all if you’re collapsing alone in the forest!”

“I’m the strongest one on the team. I can carry the most wood. I’ll be fine.”

“Even the strongest have their limits.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Even you.” The edge in Leader’s voice softened a bit. 

It only annoyed Strong more. 

“You’re acting as if I’m frail! As if I’m going to break any minute! I’m not! I’m fine! Let me be useful!”

“You are useful, Strong,” a new voice interrupted what Leader was going to say. It was Sunshine, looking smaller than Strong was used to seeing them, wrapped up in blankets and bandages and hovered over by Intelligent. 

Strong scoffed.

“Yeah. Useful enough to get you guys killed.”

“I didn’t get hurt because of you. You know that, right? It was my decision to do what I did.”

“And if I hadn’t fucked it all up in the first place, you wouldn’t have had to make that decision.”

“It was clearly an accident. You had no idea things would turn out as bad as they did.”

“You’re allowed to make mistakes, Strong,” Funny added, moving closer to Sunshine and offer than hand to them with their support.

“Not if it gets you all hurt! I’m the fighter of the group. That’s where I’m meant to be comfortable! I shouldn’t make mistakes. Not in a battle.”

“Strong, we’re not at war. We don’t need a perfect soldier.” Leader sounded much too gentle— much too understanding— when they obviously weren't understanding.

“That's all I’m good for! If I’m not good at fighting, I’m no use to the team at all!”

“Strong—” Intelligent started, sounding concerned, only to be cut off.  

“No! Don’t you start acting like I’m the victim here when you’ve had to work so hard to heal Sunshine who only got hurt because of me!” Strong huffed angrily, feeling a bit upset that they were being ganged up on by their own team. They shook off Leader’s heavy hand. “Whatever. I’m going to get firewood.”

The moment they turned, however, they felt the world spin three times faster than it should have. And it didn’t stop. Their injured leg gave out beneath them and they tried to catch themself but found nothing for purchase.

They swore they blacked out for a split second, because they woke up on the ground, leg pulsing with every heartbeat, shoulder and head already feeling bruised where they must have fallen on them.

“Strong!” Sunshine and Funny yelled in sync, the sound filtering through the pounding blood rushing in Strong's ears.

Intelligent scrambled over to help Leader lift them to their feet. 

"Geez, Strong! Your hands are freezing!" Leader scolded.

"And your leg is bleeding! I was trying to warn you!" Intelligent sounded exasperated as they both slowly helped Strong to the fire where they could set them down onto the fallen log they've been using as a bench.

"N-No it.. It's not.." Strong ground out, their brain not thinking clearly at the moment. They knew the others weren't meant to know about their leg, but they couldn't remember why.

God, it hurt so bad! Every slow and unsteady step they took shot fire up through their veins, clouding their thoughts further.

"Hush! You're damn stubborn, aren't you! Where did you even get hurt?!" Strong couldn't answer Intelligent even if they wanted to.

The three finally made it to the fire, the heat of which caused a harsh shiver through Strong, and set them down on the log.

"Did something happen last night?" Leader prompted when it was obvious they were lost in their spinning thoughts trying to remember what Intelligent was talking about. 

"N-no.. Just cold." That they knew for sure. It was quiet last night. They remembered.

Intelligent and Leader exchanged glances. Intelligent held up their hand to Strong's forehead and grimaced. 

"They've got a fever. A bad one. Funny, can you run for cold water by the stream?"

"On it!" Funny scurried off quickly with a canteen in hand.

"I'm going to grab a bed roll. It might be best to lay them down," Leader suggested, watching Strong sway precariously on the uneven, makeshift bench. Intelligent nodded and held Strong steady as Leader let them go.

"Strong? Are you alright?" Sunshine's voice was small and they looked over at them with concern. They clearly wanted to help, but without being able to stand themself, they had little to offer. 

"I'm f-fine, S-Sunny. Always fine."

"You really aren't," Leader scolded once more, coming back with the bed roll they promised and setting it up near the bench, close to the fire to try to keep Strong warm. 

"A-am too." Strong was in no right mind to be embarrassed by how childish that sounded. It felt like their whole head was filled with cotton and the thoughts were moving too fast for them to grasp onto. Their mouth spoke unfiltered whatever their mind could catch onto.

Leader and Intelligent moved them to the bed.

"Lay down so I can look at your leg."

"'s fine." 

"No. It's not. Now let Intel do what they need to." Leader commanded. Strong didn't argue this time.

Funny came back just in time to let out a gasp as Intelligent rolled up their pant leg high enough to see the injury. 

"Hoooly- Strong! Are you okay?!" Clearly they weren't, by the looks of the angry red, festering wound. No one corrected Funny, though.

"Grab a cloth, Funny. Keep the cool rag on their head. No wonder they got a fever. This thing is infected!"

"'S not, Intel. It's fine. Promise…" 

"Oh hush, you. Why didn't you tell me about this! This is bad! Very bad!"

"D-don't need help."

"Don't.. don't need— Ha!" Intelligent let out an unamused laugh, "Yes! Yes you do! Clearly! Tell me next time you get hurt! It's going to make my job harder clearing an infection than it would have been to treat the injury in the first place!"

"Don't… don't deserve it." 

All eyes shot to Strong, instead of the wound they had all been focused on. Incredibly, it seemed Strong was already subjected to the fever's madness. Or maybe they hit their head harder than anyone realized when they fell over. Why else would they say something so ridiculous?!

"What do you mean 'you don't deserve it', Strong?" Sunshine asked carefully. Their voice was soft and non judgemental. Gentle.

"Hurt you. Don' deserve to be... tr-treated nicely."

"Strong—" Sunshine breathed, sadly. 

They were interrupted, however, by Strong's sudden shout. 

The pain was blinding— searing!— as Intelligent began cleaning the wound as best they could. While Strong's thoughts were clouded before, they were now intimately aware of every single muscle that hurt and burned and stretched and ached while Intelligent worked. They were aware of the soon-to-be bruise pounding against their temple from where they fell. They heard every little sound and breath the others took around them. It was overwhelming.

Their thoughts were now impossibly clear, but the only thought they had was that it really fucking hurt!

They clenched their teeth together and breathed heavily through their nose, not willing to let another sound escape them as Intelligent did what they needed to do. 

What felt like hours but was likely only a few minutes, Intelligent finished cleaning, disinfecting, and re-bandaging the wound with proper bandages, as Intelligent called them. 

"I would've been gentler but you were spewing some nonsense about not deserving treatment so I thought there was no time to loose before you lost your mind completely," Intelligent grumbled, clearly teasing in some way.

Only then did Strong remember all that they had said in their clouded confusion. They knew this was Intelligent's way of telling them they thought they were wrong— they never pulled their punches when it came to telling someone they were wrong— but Strong could barely focus on that thought in their humiliation.

They suddenly felt like curling up in their tent, alone, to wallow in their embarrassment. They sat up, not without a bit of shaking in their arms despite Leader helping them, to ask if they could do just that. They forced away the groan they wanted to let out when they jostled their freshly bandaged leg.

"Strong," Sunshine started before they could, voice so much more gentle than Strong knew they deserved from their injured teammate. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." Strong watched Sunshine's expression change instantly.

"Bullshit. I know what kind of a heavy hand Intelligent has so don't give me that." They gestured to their bandages as if to prove their point. " Now tell me the truth this time." Admittedly, Strong had never heard Sunshine sound so serious. It startled them for a minute.

"Ah… it hurts…" Strong admitted, quietly, as if they were admitting the biggest secret they had. It felt like giving up their weakness to an enemy. Leaving them vulnerable.

Sunshine nodded their head once, as if Strong's answer was acceptable this time. 

"Now, are you going to tell us why you thought you didn't deserve treatment?" Sunshine's eyes were sharp. 

"I… Didn't I already do that… um… before…?" They suddenly felt like a small child being scolded.

Strong hoped that Confused-Strong's answer would continue to suffice. The way Sunshine looked at them, made them think it wouldn't. Strong looked to the others for help, but they all held a similar face.

Strong sighed. "I've been so… useless lately. I'm not smart enough to help you track the target. I couldn't help you catch the target and gave them the chance to get away. I couldn't even keep you safe! Even worse, I'm the reason you're hurt. I just… my injury was small, compared to what you went through."

"Smaller, sure, but not insignificant. You aren't insignificant, Strong," Sunshine sounded desperate to make them understand what they were saying. "You matter to this team and if you're hurt, we'd all want to help you in any way we can. Like you do for us."

"You were refusing help as punishment." Strong turned to Leader with surprise, having not heard from them in a little while. Their tone was stern, angry, even. "That's foolish, Strong! You have nothing to be punished about. None of us blame you for a mistake you made. One that any one of us could have made just as easily."

"But that's—" 

"They're right, Strong," Funny interrupted them. "You don't have to be perfect all the time. You're only human. You never get angry with us when we screw up. How many times do you have to save us from our own stupid mess ups? You're always there for us no matter what. We want to be there for you."

Funny pat Strong's shoulder. This time, they let themself lean in and enjoy the touch they've been craving.

"If you were feeling guilty, you should have come to speak to me about it so I could set you right. Though I suppose it is also my fault that I didn't force you to talk like I knew I should have last night," Leader sighed. 

Strong straightened up under Funny's hand, bristling. They twisted to look straight at Leader, pushing through the bout of nausea that overcame them when they felt dizzy with the sudden movement.

"This is not your fault!"

"See! You won't even let us admit our own shortcomings," Sunshine pointed out. "You are so quick to be upset with yourself over a mistake but you never allow us to be. You deserve to be nice to yourself. You deserve us being nice to you. None of us are perfect. Please allow us to help you when you need it."

"I just… it's hard… I've… I've never felt like I could…accept it. That I never do enough for the team to deserve it." Strong admitted. It was both terrifying and freeing to finally say it aloud.

"I know you've been led to think that if you're not strong, you're nothing ever since you were younger. But you aren't there anymore. You're with us. And here, you're everything to us. I know it's hard to unlearn something you've been taught so long ago, but I want you to know we won't turn on you if you ever need to lean on us. We want to be there for you. We want to shoulder your burdens. You've always helped with ours. We want to return the favor, if you'll let us." Strong looked at Sunshine incredulously. 

"You… know about my past?"

"You kinda talk in your sleep sometimes," Sunshine admitted sheepishly. "You get nightmares about it a lot, don't you?"

Strong looked around to the rest of the team who were all nodding.

"Wait, you all know?" 

"Well, not a lot of it. Leader is still the only one who knows the whole story. But we've… gathered a bit from your sleep talking." Intelligent confirmed. 

Strong flushed, embarrassed. Or maybe it was from the fever they were still fighting, which suddenly sent yet another shiver through them. Leader pulled the blanket they had also brought along with the bed roll over their shoulders. Strong felt like crying at the gentleness of it all.

"Listen. We like you for you. Not because you're strong, or whatever. So you can let us help you without worrying about silly stuff like that." Funny summed up. The rest of the team nodded. 

With that, Strong couldn't hold back their tears. Happy tears, this time. 

[gamerwoo]

[skz] In Between: Felix and...

characters: felix x gn reader (if there are any she/her pronouns that i missed while editing i'm so sorry it's an accident)

genre/warnings: idol!felix, streamer!reader, fluff, humor, established relationship, the whole fic is set up like an interview video, reader is bigger than felix, reader's online alias is saturn and is sometimes referred to as such, it's mentioned that reader is older than jeongin, one mention of a fic about a threesome but nothing explicit happens

word count: 3,800

summary: welcome to the couple's interview called 'in between:' where your favorite couples answer some questions to show a little background and insight to their relationships. today, we're exploring in between: saturn and felix!

a/n: i've done this kind of format for a fic before and i've always wanted to revisit that bc it was a lot of fun and sooo much easier imo so here we are!!! also don't ask me why the header is so low quality it saved normal i swear i think tumblr fucked it up 😔

chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | seungmin | jeongin

[a short preview of the video plays where _____ is staring deadpan into the camera.]

_____: I behave. Gotta keep it cool with JYPapi.

[felix stares at _____ without expression. they don’t look back at him. they just continue to stare at the camera without any expression. a screen saying ‘technical difficulties’ pops up before the video cuts to the beginning of the interview. _____ and felix are sitting on stools beside each other.]

_____: Hi, I’m _____, or you might know me online as Saturn.

Felix: And I’m Felix from Stray Kids.

_____: And today, we’ve been invited to Gamerwoo to do a fun little interview all about our lil’ romance [they start drumming their fingers together like some sort of villain].

Felix: [laughing] This is In Between: Felix and Saturn.

[the intro card plays, and in the background, felix can be heard still laughing with _____ loudly asking, 'what?!'. then it changes to the question card before going back to the couple.]

[what was your first date?]

Felix: Is it, like…real date? Like, in person?

_____: Yeah, we went on Minecraft dates and even an Overwatch date once.

Felix: We don’t talk about the Overwatch date.

_____: You’re just mad that I picked Roadhog.

[felix slowly turns to look at _____. they continue to just stare back at him. a card that says ‘technical difficulties’ pops up before the video jumps back to the couple.]

Felix: Our first date was shortly after the first stream we did together, I think.

_____: [nodding] Yeah, it was. Because we were supposed to meet not too long after that stream, and then a couple days later you were like, ‘do you wanna go grab street food and I can show you around?’ and I was like, ‘haha okay!’ and then you ended up holding my hand and I stopped functioning.

Felix: [laughing loudly] No, ‘cause I could literally hear your brain trying to work! I just held their hand and they suddenly just stopped eating their ice cream, their face went blank, and even their walking kinda stopped so I stopped to look at them and they were so flustered.

_____: I wasn’t expecting it! I genuinely had no idea you liked me romantically so I was just like, ‘oh, we’re hanging out and he’s being nice,’ and then it was actually more than that and I was like– [_____ just stops and stares intensely wide-eyed].

[how did you meet and what were your first impressions?]

_____: So I stream online and I mostly play video games, and Felix really likes video games, too. And I knew that already because I’m a Stay and I was a Stay before I met him, and I would talk about them and Seventeen and New Jeans and stuff on my streams a lot.

Felix: And I just found _____ one day when I was looking through streams trying to find something to put on in the background, and I just really liked their stuff and kept watching. They were really funny and just fun to listen to, and they’re good at games, which is a bonus. It was fun to watch and _____ started to become one of my most watched streamers.

_____: But then this **********er–

[felix starts laughing loudly.]

_____: –starts telling Stays on one of his lives that he’s been really into my streams lately. And then suddenly my chat is going off, and ****’s being sent to me on Twitter and Discord, and I’m like, ‘what’s happening? Did somebody die?’ and then I died.

Felix: But then from there, y’know, we kinda reached out to one another – I think… [he looks at _____] Actually, I DM’d you, right?

_____: I tweeted something at you saying, like–

[the tweet in question comes up on the screen, reading: hi mr jyp, if i could ever play some games with felix on stream, that would be super cool :) thank u <;3]

_____: ‘hey, would love to play with felix sometime’ and I tagged Stray Kids or something, and then you reached out on Instagram and said you’d love to play a game sometime so we figured it out and ended up streaming the first time we played together, and I was absolutely terrified and panicked for the first 15 minutes of stream until we got into a call.

Felix: You were so shy, too. [he smiles brightly and chuckles]

_____: I was so afraid of saying or doing something that could get you in trouble. I literally lectured chat from the day we finalized everything all the way up until the day we played just telling them to not be too vulgar or inappropriate or whatever because I was so scared of just ****ing something up.

Felix: And now you swear in any video we do together. [chuckles]

_____: Not your lives, though. [_____ looks right into camera very deadpan] I behave. Gotta keep it cool with JYPapi.

[felix stares at _____ without expression. they don’t look back at him. they just continue to stare at the camera without any expression. ‘technical difficulties’ comes back up before cutting back to the couple back to normal.]

Felix: I will admit, I was nervous, too, when we first played together. I was basically just a fan getting to play with their favorite streamer.

_____: [grinning back at felix] I know! You were so cute! I was, like, internally squealing.

Felix: And externally. There’s proof in the VOD.

[_____ turns to look at the camera again with felix laughing at them. their face is scrunched up despite how flustered they look.]

_____: Next question.

[who asked who out and how did it happen?]

_____: Felix. [they point to their left].

Felix: [shyly raises his hand] Yeah, that was me. I just– Okay, so we were both pretty shy with each other at first, but we got a lot more comfortable and were just kinda best friends, but there were moments I feel like where we’d both get kinda shy again [he starts to look to _____ for confirmation] like we both felt something there but we were both too shy to say anything.

_____: [smiling at the camera like it’s a bad infomercial] Take a shot every time Felix says ‘shy’!

[he snorts and bats their hand away when they give a thumbs up to the camera. it jump cuts to them after they’d calmed down from giggling at each other.]

_____: Honestly, I will say we kind of poked at the topic but never did anything for a while. Like we’d be like, ‘oh, let’s go on a date in whatever game we’re playing’ and I think there were serious undertones for both of us. But I was like, ‘there’s no way he actually has feelings, he has to think about his career, i’m just some idiot online,’ so I never said anything, and he was– Well, I don’t wanna say it for you since it was your feelings.

Felix: I was nervous about, like, scaring off a really good friend, especially since I did become a fan of theirs. I was watching _____ for over a year before we actually started talking so I think I was the same kind of starstruck as they were. I was just nervous like they were that this was all just a friendship and there wasn’t anything more from it.

_____: [looking at felix] I think I just started making it really obvious, though.

Felix: I definitely started to get a feeling that you were interested and the playful flirting was actually kinda serious. Like, you know how friends flirt? It was a lot of that, but I started getting a feeling they were trying to kinda be serious. So we went on that date and, like, I had planned it as a date but didn’t tell them. I just said we were hanging out, and then after I held their hand I was like, ‘so is this a good first date?’ or something like that, and yeah.

_____: And then he asked me out literally that night.

Felix: Oh, yeah, I couldn’t wait. I was scared I’d chicken out if I waited longer.

_____: I will admit, though, I took a couple days to give an answer because I was so nervous and scared.

Felix: [shrugs, looking at _____] Yeah, but we talked it out and then you said yes.

_____: [looking at felix] Yeah, I was worried about, like…ruining your career [laughs softly]. You made me feel less anxious about it.

Felix: [grinning] I try.

[what did the members think of _____, and what did _____’s friends think of felix?]

_____: [grinning] My friends were so ****in’ excited to meet Felix.

[felix starts laughing.]

_____: Like, I feel like kpop has become really popular with a lot of streamers for whatever reason, so a lot of them already knew who Stray Kids were. So when we played that first time– [suddenly turns very deadpan and stares directly into the camera] We played Bread & Fred, by the way. Very awful game to meet someone on. But anyway [they go back to normal] we decided to set up a time that Felix could play with my friends and I since I know a few popular streamers and we play together. So I reached out and asked if I could invite Felix from Stray Kids to play a game with us and they all lost it. They were so ****ing excited to meet him and then they were, like, obsessed with him when we did finally play. 

Felix: I was honestly excited to meet them, too. Some of them I had been a fan of for a while so it was fun to get to meet them and play and stuff.

_____: [scoffs and rolls their eyes but it’s obviously in a joking way] And yet you weren’t a fan of me yet.

Felix: You were newer!

[the ‘technical difficulties’ screen pops up for a few seconds again before going back to the couple.]

Felix: Yeah, the guys really liked _____. Chan would sometimes watch their streams, too, and I.N and Seungmin liked seeing them Overwatch gameplay. I remember the first time we planned to have a 5-stack in Overwatch with me, _____, Chan, Seungmin, and I.N, after we all got off and left Discord, I.N came into my room and was like, ‘Whoa, we gotta have them in our stack all the time’.

_____: [laughing softly] They only like me because I’m their carry.

Felix: [suddenly turns his head to look at them] Hey! Untrue!

Interviewer: Who’s the best at video games between the two of you?

Felix & _____: Me.

[the couple turns to look at each other. ‘technical difficulties’ pops up again before cutting back to the couple.]

_____: There’s literally proof. Should we pull up our Overwatch ranks? If you want, we could compare your League rank to mine.

Felix: You don’t even play Lea–

[he stops like he realizes something, and _____ starts laughing. he deflates and looks grumpy despite the smile growing on his face.]

_____: [still giggling] Exactly. You’re higher ranked than me in League.

Felix: [grumbling] Next question.

[who said ‘i love you’ first?]

[they both go to say something, mouths open. felix looks happy while _____ looks embarrassed, and they put their hands over felix’s body to try and keep him from speaking up first.]

_____: In my defense, I was very intoxicated so it doesn’t count!

Felix: [still grinning] It so does. [looks at the camera and tries to fight off _____ who is physically trying to get him to stop talking] So we had been playing It Takes Two together, which we did on their stream, and we were drinking for that, so after stream, we played some Minecraft just so we could, y’know, hang out in private and whatever. We were working on our new farm and stuff. But anyway, before _____ went to sleep and we were saying goodbye… [starts giggling] They literally just go, ‘I love you’ after the ‘goodnight’ and I just stopped because I was like, ‘did I hear that right?’ And then they started panicking and trying to take it back, and then they ended the call before I could even say anything!

_____: Because you were dead silent and it was embarrassing!

Felix: I just couldn’t believe you’d said that! But I left you a voicemail.

_____: He did… He called me and I didn’t answer and he was like, ‘hey, hope you sleep well. Also I love you too,’ and I died. I literally still have the voicemail saved.

Felix: [giggling and smiling brightly at _____] That’s so cute.

[has felix ever written a song about you and released it? if so, what was it?]

[the couple speaks at the same time]

_____: Not that I know of…

Felix: I have not.

[_____ looks to Felix and lets him speak.]

Felix: I’ve had, y’know, like…inspiration. But I’ve never written just one entire song all about _____. Not to say I haven’t tried, but they’re still just lyrics. 

_____: You did cover our song, though.

Felix: I did! We have a song that we decided we think of the other when we hear it, and I covered it once and it was posted on Youtube. It was before we were public, though, so I don’t think anyone thought it was anything.

_____: Dude, people were definitely shipping us before we were officially together.

Felix: [shrugs and chuckles] Okay, yeah, you’re right.

_____: You’re not slick.

[who’s the driest texter, and what are your names saved as in each other’s phones?]

_____: I’m so…painfully dry.

Felix: You are not.

_____: Compared to you, I feel like I am. Like, I feel like you always have a good reply to everything and you always seem interested and invested. I feel like I come across as like, ‘yup. sure. okay.’

Felix: No, you just…– Sometimes you only reply with a meme and I kinda sit there for a minute like, ‘okay, what do I do with this?’ [laughs]

_____: [shrugs] Sometimes I don’t know what to say.

Felix: What’s my name in your phone? [smirks and wiggles his eyebrows at _____]

_____: [dramatically clears their throat and shifts in their seat] So let me walk you through the timeline. At first, it was just ‘Felix’ with, like, the chick emoji and a heart because, y’know, I love Stray Kids. Then I changed it to ‘my little pogchamp’ when we started dating for shits and giggles, but I didn’t like that you weren’t in alphabetical order anymore, so I changed it back to ‘Felix’ with a few different heart emojis. Now it’s ‘Lix’ with the sun emoji and some hearts.

Felix: [laughing loudly] My little pogchamp?!

_____: I know yours is gonna be something super cheesy currently, so don’t even.

Felix: [pulling out his phone] It used to be. It’s normal currently.

_____: Walk me through the timeline.

Felix: So it was just ‘Saturn’ at first. Then it changed to _____, and then it was your name with some hearts, and now it’s just ‘baby _____’ with a sunflower and some hearts [he shows them his phone]

_____: Why a sunflower?

Felix: Because Stay call me the sun, and you’re my sun but I thought it should be different. So a sunflower…

[as felix trails off, he gets more flustered, and _____’s smile widens until they’re just looking at each other and smiling and giggling quietly.]

_____: You’re too cute sometimes.

Felix: [shrugs while putting his phone away, still grinning] Yeah, I try.

[do you read fanfiction about each other?]

_____: There was one time on stream where we somehow got onto the topic of fanfiction, and chat was asking if there was any of specifically me and Felix so I looked it up. For the record, there is, but I didn’t read it.

Felix: What was it about?

_____: The warnings were very much not safe for me to be reading on stream, that’s what I’m gonna tell you.

Felix: I haven’t looked up anything about us. I mean, when we first debuted, I was kind of curious and looked up about myself, but nothing about _____ or us together.

_____: Well, it’s out there.

Interviewer: Can you give us a hint as to what it was about?

_____: It was a threesome. [laughs] Can I say that?

Felix: [eyes wide, staring at _____] A threesome?! With who?!

_____: It was a reader insert.

Felix: [slowly turning back toward the camera, looking traumatized] I preferred not knowing.

_____: We’re bonding by both of us knowing this information. But now I kinda wanna look it up and see if it was any good…

[felix slowly turns back to _____, and the ‘technical difficulties’ screen pops up again before changing to the next question.]

[what item of yours does the other steal the most?]

_____: My entire ****ing setup!

[felix laughs evilly.]

_____: Anytime he stays over, he takes over my desk when I’m not using it, whether it’s before or after stream. He’s already there.

Felix: Everything runs so smoothly, and you have so many games! 

_____: You just built a new PC. You were bragging on Instagram about it.

Felix: [sighs] Yours is just better. It’s also very…aesthetically pleasing at your desk. And your chair is so comfy!

_____: I don’t even really steal anything of yours, though, so.

Felix: You can take whatever you want if you give me your setup. [he smiles and leans in, trying to seem persuasive]

Interviewer: You don’t steal anything from him?

_____: [shrugs] Not really. We don’t really share clothes or anything because of the size difference. I might’ve, like, accidentally stolen a pair of his socks a few times, maybe.

Felix: Oh! Your fuzzy socks are so comfy!

_____: All of the stealing is one-sided.

[which member of stray kids is _____ closest with?]

_____: [grinning] Innie!

Felix: Yeah, _____ and our youngest member, I.N get on really well. They play a lot of co-op games together. I think they stream with him more often than me, actually. [chuckles]

_____: I doubt that.

Felix: You guys are really close, though.

_____: I’m currently helping him build his first PC. [smiles and happily shrugs their shoulders] He’s like my little brother.

Interviewer: Do you ever fight when you play games together?

_____: Sometimes, and in that aspect, he reminds me of some of my friends I used to play games with a lot when I was first starting out. It was a lot of playful bickering, and that’s how it is with Jeongin sometimes. But it’s always fun playing together.

[what’s something the other does that you don’t like?]

[felix and _____ look at each other as they consider the question, but both of them just shrug at each other.]

Felix: Nothing, really.

Interviewer: Not any pet peeves?

Felix: [starting to chuckle] Okay, I actually have one that’s kinda weird…

_____: [looking somewhat scared] What is it…?

Felix: So…for context, one of our friends was saying how you know you love someone when you’ll fart in front–

[_____ starts loudly whining.]

Felix: [laughing] –of each other. And they refuse to fart in front of me! We’ll be hanging out on the couch or in my room together or something, and they’ll literally leave the room!

_____: Only if I think it’s gonna be smelly.

Felix: You can tell?

_____: Sometimes. Or if I know I can’t make it quiet.

Interviewer: Is there anything Felix does that you’re not super fond of?

_____: Um… Sometimes he looks at his members a certain way and I’m like, ‘...why aren’t you looking at me like that?’

[felix turns to look at _____ in confusion.]

_____: Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame you! Y’all are handsome guys. But, like…c’mon, man.

Felix: …What are you talking about?

_____: [puts their hand on his shoulder] You know exactly what I’m talking about. I know how you look at Changbin.

[felix and _____ stare at each other in silence for a moment before felix suddenly looks at the camera with wide, knowing eyes.]

Felix: Ohhhh, yeah. Yeah, [laughs] I get it. I get what you mean.

_____: Look at me like that, Felix!

Felix: I do! I do. [turns back to _____] I swear I do.

_____: I don’t see the same panic in your eyes.

Felix: You want me to panic?

_____: Kinda.

[what’s something you especially love about each other?]

_____: Felix is always positive. I tend to get kinda pessimistic and, like, worry about things a lot. If I bring it up to Felix, he’s always looking at things from a good perspective or is always reassuring me that everything is okay.

Felix: I don’t think you’re pessimistic.

_____: I am when I’m stressed, which is usually. God, especially at the beginning of our relationship, or like, before we were even dating when people thought we were. [looks straight into camera with genuine worry] I was so convinced I was gonna get swatted. I was fully prepared to move my entire life to make sure it wouldn’t happen.

Felix: [reaches over to put his hand on their knee, rubbing it with his thumb] You do worry about a lot, but I wouldn’t say it’s pessimistic. It’s just anxiety. [shrugs]

Interviewer: So Felix, what do you like about _____?

Felix: I feel like I never get drained being around them. Like, you know how being social a lot makes you feel really tired? Being around _____ I feel like recharges me instead. They always just make me feel better by being around me, and they always make me laugh.

_____: See, that’s how I know I am pessimistic because my jokes are all dry and come from a place of trauma. [gives a very straight and boring smile right at the camera]

Felix: [chuckling] I’m begging you to just take the compliment.

_____: [shyly] Thanks, man.

Felix: [snorts] Yeah, sure thing, bro. No problem.

[_____ holds out their hand and they dab each other up.]

[the logo appears once again before cutting back to the couple sitting how they were at the beginning of the interview.]

Felix: Thank you so much to Gamerwoo for having us in the studio today to answer questions about us and our relationship. We had a lot of fun here today.

_____: If you want to learn more about us individually, you can see my boyfriend, Felix in the kpop boy group, Stray Kids. And if you’re interested in anything I’m doing, you can find me on most live streaming platforms at slrsatrn.

Felix: This has been…

Felix & _____: In Between: Felix and Saturn!

Felix: [waving with both hands] Byyyye, thank you!

_____: [doing a thumbs up at the camera] Adioso, friends!

[as the logo card appears on the screen again, felix and _____ can be heard laughing before they both say, ‘done!’ and laugh some more. The screen goes black and the recommended videos come up.]

«─── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ───»

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[astrolavas]

I'm curious about the serious reasons behind the 13-in-1 shampoo/shower gel headcanon

okay, so 😭😭😭 basically it started as a "he uses a 13-in-1 shampoo/shower gel lol" because funny + hunter likes his efficiency after all and it's practical, and so we also had an "lmao do you think hunter's one of those ppl who don't wash their legs in the shower" discussion with some friends, but then it just kinda... evolved into more??? cuz like, the thing is that YEAH, he probably IS. because he's never been taught.

i've just been rly thinking abt how hunter most likely had to just… learn how to take care of himself all on his own. belos didn't care enough to teach him abt the basics of self-care and hygiene; he most likely taught him only abt things that'd affect his performance or how hunter's "perceived" plus he added some things that'd make him look like a Good Caring Uncle in hunter's eyes, the bare minimum; eat, train, shower, stand straight, etc.. but when it comes to things that were "not visible" to other coven members or even belos himself, he probably couldn't care less.

like, hunter likely had to figure out HOW to actually take care of himself all on his own. he had to teach HIMSELF how to clean himself, without any clear instructions, navigating solely by what seemed logical or right to him; couldn't even ask or base it off other coven scouts, since his interactions with them were limited. he was in charge of when he'd sleep, and that defo didn't do him any good. he had to learn how to treat wounds and patch himself up, because he most likely wasn't even rly allowed to use a healer's services; but at least he had books with... that information instead, i suppose. that's something. uh- he had to do all these things, all while overworking himself and doing everything in his power to make his "uncle" proud.

just……… post-coven hunter slowly realizing that the little things and habits he does and always thought were right and how things are "supposed" to be done… AREN'T actually right…… seeing how differently yet naturally others do their daily self-maintenance routines and realizing just how deeply belos' neglect and lack of care for his well-being really went, how much it affected everything in his life. h

like. imagining hexsquad casually discussing their random routines/habits/practices and hunter saying sth he thinks is right cuz like this IS how he's always done this, psh- of course it's right! but then finding out that's not how most ppl do this thing… realizing- and mostly just feeling so embarassed… cuz god how couldn't he have KNOWN that, it's so OBVIOUS to him now!!!! like, that obviously wasn't his fault and he'd TECHNICALLY know that but this would just be another thing that'd make him feel alienated, "wrong"; another thing that'd make others look at him weirdly, with that specific kind of concern, even if only for a split-second……. gah

so yeah, just... thinking abt the emotional (and physical) abuse that hunter had to go through, and how neglect was also definitely a big part of it. thinking of the embarrassment and humiliation that comes from "not knowing how to do things right" despite never having been TAUGHT these things, despite not being at fault here whatsoever. especially since hunter was additionally also expected to grow up quick, to basically ACT LIKE AN ADULT his entire childhood; to be mature, to even play a role of a caretaker to belos. he was surrounded by adults but he was left to figure out all these basic things on his own.

[forthegothicheroine]

@gehayi said: can you please tell us more about Israel Rank?

POV: We are at a slumber party and I am kicking my feet and giggling and telling you about the boy I like.

"Oh my god, his name is Israel Rank, and he's from a book called Israel Rank: Autobiography of a Criminal, and he is so hot! The musical A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder, and the movie Kind Hearts and Coronets were both based on the book, but they made him other things besides Jewish, which is so bogus. Roger Ebert said it made the story more 'universal', which I guess means half-Italian is more universal than half-Jewish, which, what the fuck?

Anyway, he's the worst person in the world and I love him. He's like Heathcliff plus Steerpike plus Edmund the Bastard. He's the really distant relative of and earl, and his mother was disinherited for marrying a Jewish man. Israel isn't technically Jewish, he was baptized and raised Anglican, but he looks Jewish- and also really hot, and he says that combination upsets people! Kind of an Adrian Brody thing? I would have cast Ezra Miller before they turned out to be a shitshow of a person. And his name is Israel, kind of as a fuck you to mom's family. So he decides if people are going to give him shit about it anyway, he's going to embrace it.

He's in love with this girl Sibella, who won't marry him because he's both half-Jewish and poor, so starting as a hypothetical lark he wonders if he could just murder every single family member between him and an earldom. And then he does it! After sexual fantasies about Lucrezia Borgia encouraging him to! What an absolute freak.

So he starts killing, and his narration is so dry and funny about it. He tells the reader that in his experience, Jews aren't all that violent- he speculates that Shylock would have walked back the pound of flesh if he'd had time to calm down- but he has the blood of evil rapacious noblemen on his non-Jewish side which are to blame. He kills most of his family, except for the cousin-in-law whom he marries. He also still love Sibella. And his wife! He just can't stop fucking, he's so awful! (And I think he's bisexual. At least, I don't know how else I'm supposed to interpret the part where he's in school and "the boy I loved chose me as his Jonathan.")

And he gets away with it! He's super popular at his trial because he's so handsome and charming and the same society that scorned him, now that he's an earl, gossips that his Jewish ancestry must be very slight and distant. And there's a twist that gets him off the hook which is actually a real bummer of a plot point, even he's bummed out by it, but it's such a perfect capper to a life of cruelty.

Honestly, I do get why none of the adaptations keep the half-Jewish thing, they're probably afraid it would seem antisemitic, but in my opinion it's a real shame because it's so central to his character and I think I do want a sexy Jewish Byronic antihero. He's the worst. I love him. I would marry him. I would immediately divorce him. His favorite book is Emma!"

For a more academic discussion, I did a podcast episode on him way back when!

[itsjaywalkers]

jegulus & 71 pleaseee :))

i love all your writing btw!!!!

this prompt gave me an excuse to write this silly lil scene i've had stuck in my mind for days SO THANK U FOR THAT BABE

if u recognise what this is loosely based on . no u don't . i'm going thru something okay .

also !! thank u so much nonnie i'm very happy to hear it !! <3

71. "Kiss me, quick!"

Regulus doesn't know how he's managed to land himself a date with James Potter, but he isn't really complaining.

Or, well, maybe he is complaining a little bit, because, technically, it isn't a real date.

He thinks that, to all intents and purposes, though, it's absolutely a date. They're at a restaurant, sitting in the same side of a booth, and they keep gazing into each others eyes, smiling sweetly and giggling while they decide what they want to order.

Regulus can totally pretend this is real if he ignores the not-so-subtle glances James keeps throwing to the couple a few tables away from them. Or how he keeps whispering under his breath what he wants Regulus to do so they look more convincing. Or the fact that James chose to ask him to be his fake date through gritted teeth and a pinched brow.

He supposes it might be kind of his fault. Regulus hasn't been very nice to James, although there's been a considerable improvement since they met, which he believes should be more appreciated.

But, then again, the Regulus of seven months ago wasn't pathetically in love with James Potter.

Regulus misses him dearly. It was so much easier to keep his reputation intact when he didn't have to make an actual effort.

"I'm gonna put my arm around your shoulders," James informs him with a smile. It looks genuine, and it would've fooled Regulus if he didn't know the other man as well as he does.

He nods, offering a smile of his own that despite being considerably smaller, it's actually sincere. Regulus isn't too worried about it, though. Unlike James, he's an excellent actor, the best of their generation if he says so himself, and it's not hard to believe that he'd play his role perfectly.

Even if it's one as unbecoming as being James Potter's boyfriend.

As he said he would, James wraps an arm around him, and Regulus has to will his body to remain cool and relaxed but not too relaxed, or else he'll end up melting against James' body.

He's just so warm. Regulus reckons the other man ought to go see a doctor about it, get it checked, because it shouldn't be normal for a human being to feel so welcoming, so safe.

Regulus shivers, and he isn't sure if it's due to how disgusted he is by his own train of thought, or how well he seems to fit, tucked against James' side.

"I'm gonna put my head on your shoulder," he mutters, tone surprisingly even. Since he's already doing this, he might as well take advantage of it and properly enjoy it.

"Good idea," James murmurs, sounding excited, his eyes fixed on the guy sitting right in front of Macdonald.

Regulus thinks he'd feel more jealous if it weren't because this whole thing is a mere ruse to teach that asshole a lesson after breaking James' heart.

Still, he wishes James was paying attention to him. He's the Regulus Black, after all. It shouldn't be a choice in the first place.

"Oh," James gasps, squirming a little in his place and jostling Regulus' head a little from where it's resting on his shoulder. "He's finally noticed us."

Regulus can barely supress the urge to roll his eyes.

"Maybe we should turn it up a bit, then," he suggests, getting more comfortable and pressing even closer to the other man.

"You're right," James agrees without missing a beat, as if it's not completely unheard of, James admitting to Regulus being right about something. "I'm gonna whisper something in your ear, and you're gonna laugh about it. I know it must be difficult for you, but—"

"Pretending you're funny?" Regulus cuts him off, batting his lashes up at him all coyly. "It's nearly impossible, but unlike others, I do have the acting skills, so I think I'll manage."

James glares down at him, the gesture poorly disguised by a grin. The matching one Regulus gives him in response is totally genuine.

The other man leans down, until his lips are grazing Regulus' earlobe teasingly, and he has to bite down on his lower lip to keep an embarrassing noise from escaping.

"You're the most insufferable person I've ever met," James whispers, his breath hitting Regulus' skin with every word. "And I can't wait for this date to be over."

Oh, Regulus couldn't relate more. He's starting to come too close to popping a fucking boner for comfort.

He laughs, too loud and too eager, behaving like a stupid schoolgirl with a crush, and when realisation dawns on him, he does his best to ignore that he is basically a schoolgirl with a crush.

Regulus thinks that this must be what hitting rock bottom feels like.

"Fuck, he's looking this way," James says, still way too close to Regulus' ear, to his fucking neck. "He's actually looking this way. Oh my god, I can't believe this is working!"

"That makes two of us," Regulus huffs after daring to take a peek and discovering that James' annoying ex is, in fact, focused on them and their cheesy display. He even seems to be shooting daggers at them.

"Shit, Gideon looks so mad," James comments, positively giddy at the thought. "We gotta do something else, something that actually drives the message home."

"And what would that message be?" Regulus drawls, tilting his face the slightest bit, making it seem like they're actually having a Moment.

"Probably 'you're a fucking prick and I'm glad we're over and you're gonna regret playing with me like you did.'"

Regulus hums, considering, and then his mouth is opening before he even has the opportunity to think about it. "Kiss me, then."

James splutters, eyes widening comically and jaw almost dropping to the floor. Regulus wants to snap at him for breaking character after all their hard work, but now that James has decided to fuck up so badly, someone's gotta keep their charade afloat.

"What?" he nearly yells, and it's almost physically painful for Regulus, holding back his scowl.

"Fucking keep it down," Regulus hisses, his expression resembling a lovesick fool's. "How do you want this to look believable otherwise? Especially after sabotaging us like this."

James has no business looking as offended as he does right now. If anything, Regulus should be the one sporting that aggrieved frown, considering the circumstances.

"Shut up," James grumbles, all petulantly like a child. "I don't want to fucking kiss you."

Regulus swallows the sudden wave of nausea and the pieces of his broken heart, and arches a judging eyebrow.

"And you think I do?" he questions with a sniff. "I'm doing this to help, but if you'd rather ruin your own plan because of your stupid pride, then be my guest."

"I know you're not just lecturing me about pride, of all things—"

"James, I think he's about to get up. Fuck, what if he comes here? Shit, this is—kiss me, quick!"

"Excuse me, he's doing what!?" James whips his head around in mild panic, just to see that Gideon really is pushing his chair away from the table, all his attention on them.

"James," Regulus urges him, elbowing him harshly on the side.

It takes James a couple of seconds to return his focus to Regulus, at least a dozen emotions flickering behind his eyes. "I'm not—I don't think we—"

With a long-suffering sigh, Regulus grips the front of James' shirt and pulls him in, clashing their mouths together and swallowing James' surprised gasp.

He tries to tell himself it's fine, that he's kissed other people before when shooting scenes for his show, and this isn't any different. Regulus didn't feel anything back then, because it was just work, just another role, and in a way, this thing with James is, too.

But it doesn't matter how much he tries, how he keeps repeating these words in his head like a mantra. His heart still speeds up as he moves his mouth against James', who seems completely frozen on the spot. His cheeks still burn, the blush probably being noticeable from a distance. His body still relaxes against James', seeking more of that lovely warmth, more of James' touch.

It's over way too soon, but the other man isn't responding, and if he keeps it up for too long with James just sitting there and taking it, their audience is bound to notice.

Regulus pulls away with a truly idiotic smile, and he hates that he doesn't even have to fake it.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" he murmurs, while James blinks down at him.

He's about to turn around, search for Gideon and hopefully relish in his jealous expression, when he feels a hand on his jaw. The grip is unforgiving, bordering on desperate, and before Regulus has the chance to question it, or swat the contact away, James is pulling him in for another kiss.

This one's different. Less performative. Regulus wasn't actually acting in the first one, because he's been wanting to kiss the other man for a few months now, but he was still hyperaware of Gideon, of what they were trying to do. Of James being completely unresponsive.

In this case, however, it's sort of impossible to focus on anything that isn't James, who's kissing him eagerly, hungrily, deepening the kiss the moment Regulus begins reciprocating. He licks at his lips, requesting permission, and Regulus grants it without a second thought, nothing but white noise inside his brain.

Their tongues tangle, and James makes a keening sound against Regulus' panting mouth. His fingers twitch around the material of James' shirt, a whimper on the tip of his tongue when their teeth clash in their desperation.

Once again, Regulus is the one that puts an end to it, even if it's more out of survival instinct than actual want. You see, they start to get too into it, especially considering they're in a very public place, surrounded by other people.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of snogging, and Regulus has seen way worse than their little make out session. But then James' free hand is gripping onto his waist, pulling Regulus in until he's nearly straddling his lap, blood rushing south at an alarming pace and hips twitching with the need to thrust in search of some friction.

Surprisingly, Regulus still has some sense of self-preservation left.

He captures James' lower lip between his teeth and tugs, dragging another obscene sound out of him, before finally breaking their kiss. Regardless, James doesn't allow him to get far, his hold on him tightening as soon as Regulus attempts to put some space between them.

"Yeah," James exhales, sounding absolutely wrecked. "That wasn't hard at all."

[mochinon-yah]

I just realized we all technically have the power to ask any questions on this site, and I never got to doing it. So....

[Points S.E.E.S evoker at you]

Who are the fictional characters you ship your mutuals to? Doesn't have to be necessarily their self-ship. I am deadass curious. Spill the tea, Imbibitor's lover—

We can lower that down, brynn- no need to get all aggressive now-

*cough* ANYWAY!

I'll list them down below, and if they're not accurate or you're actually gonna fight them rather than making out with the characters that i chose then yeah, that is probably my plan 😀 /silly

Oh and! I'll mostly be using genshin and hsr characters because yeah-

@beloved-brynn -> heizou and ratio. NGL, YOU + HEIZOU, OR YOU + RATIO, OR EVEN THE THREE OF YOU WOULD TOTALLY BE SO FUNNY AND CHAOTIC 😭☝️ they can counter your wild statements while also being the (somewhat) saner one but could also say smth wild as well. I could see you and one of em (possibly ratio) be like "oh yeah, the other day, i was eating my lunch while watching that gorey movie-" "what." "yeah, i was hungry at that time, so like why not yk-" (this is based on my real experience guys, guess which dialogue is me lmao)

@meimeimeirin -> hmmmm, koh zhongli maybe? Okay, let me tell you the reason why... it's simply because she NEEDS someone who can pamper her! I don't know where that conclusion came from, but yeah. Anyway, if we're talking about other characters, then i think welt, or even zayne from lnd could fit. Basically: "I need someone older, just a little bit colder." lmao (oh, mochi, did this conclusion came up because you know rin's the youngest in her family and now you ship her with men older (and more experienced) than her? whaatt... ofc not, haha-)

@leftdestiny-posts -> absolutely cannot see them with anyone other than dottore. Cute and kind but is secretly crazy "i want to watch the world burn" x The human version of the word 'crazy' "as you wish, my love" would be their dynamic, i suppose...? WAIT OH! I can actually see shiro with ayato or maybe sunday! I bet they would like such a cute, innocent-looking darling to control, but then they would get so surprised and maybe super interested into trying to control the darling despite how crazy the darling actually is- (shiro ily, if ur crazy then we can be crazy together 💐)

@navxry -> arlechinno, and maybe black swan. Yeah, that's it. No explanation needed.

@jessamine-rose -> hmmm, would it be weird if i say capitano? I don't know why or how did i get to that conclusion, but yeah. And maybe blade? IDK WHY I'M PARTNERING HER WITH CRAY CRAY MEN- SORRY JESS, I (subconsciously) THINK YOU CAN LIKE CALM THEM OR SMTH AJFIAWOF-

@stardust-for-your-soul -> funnily enough, i can see her with aventurine. They'll say sweet words that probably have a double meaning and also probably have a teeny tiny bit (maybe a lot lmao) of 'enemies to lovers' moment. (wow, cherry, your new bf is a gambler- /smack). But anyway, i could also see her be with march 7th who is so bubbly and sweet, and i'd think cherry would love to tease march hehe

@teabutmakeitazure -> ACTUALLY NGL DAN HENG????? He would listen to her ramblings and also help her write her fics. It just sounds so cute in my opinion lol. Other than dan heng (who is obviously the best choice), zuri would probably look into red flag charas, like... yeah, aventurine- but still tho, dan heng! But i get what zuri is thinking tho, red is such a sexy color- /smack

@harmonysanreads -> ngl alhaitham or kaeya would be cute if paired up with her! Idk where did kaeya come from, but when i thought about it, instantly "cute!". I think, harmony has this really 'weird' calming aura that could make those two charas just fell in love with how comfortamble she can make them feel. BUT LIKE IDK THO-

@fishanonishere -> Albedo...... i think? Fish, i know what you are- i mean like as in how chaotic and just how 'what in the world is this person thinking???' you are. With how calming and 'would jump into any interesting topic' he is, i think fish and him could be such a cute duo. Fish's ramblings and their drawings are some of the things that make him really interested in fish

[earthstellar]

it is time to be old on the internet: TFP Ratchet's hatred of 2010 era human tech is hilarious

every time Ratchet complains about shitty human technology in TFP, it's so funny to me, that shit is so good

because, I mean, I grew up with the first computer in my house being a fucking Tandy 1000, which to be fair wasn't exactly the hottest model even then, but still LMAO

the first modem I ever messed with as a kid was the wood box phone receiver type, the acoustic coupler ones, which was my dad's, and he only had it because his job at a local university meant he could borrow one from their tech lab (so we didn't technically own it)

if I remember correctly, the one we had ran at 300 baud, which was fucking amazing for such a set up at the time. slightly later AOL dial up looked like lightning speed compared to that shit.

my first chat rooms were BBS/Usenet (whenever I could connect) and IRC chats. now everyone has Discord and I still don't understand how that shit works lmao but that's more of a me problem and less of an age problem, I think

we got dial up (in the "modern" sense of it being AOL dial up service with the infamous hell noises) in my household in 1994, back when it was pretty much a brand new thing (at least for AOL), and I remember the Eternal September Usenet rush, lmao

imagine if TFP took place in the 80s/90s, oh my god

(I'm assuming TFP takes place in roughly 2010 because that's when the show premiered, and Miko has some kind of Razr-inspired flip phone, so if we assume it's supposed to be based on the first model of Razr, then at the earliest that places the show in 2004)

Ratchet would have gone completely insane with old school internet capable consumer level human tech

Ratchet: "How do I look at photos on this monitor?"

80s Raf: "what"

Ratchet: "what"

oh god now I want an 80s/90s TFP AU so fucking bad. imagine 80s Raf. it's so good

oh god, IMAGINE 90s RAF. just getting traumatised by terrifying shitty mid-90s FMV horror games. this poor boy. but imagine his hype when the PS1 would come out in the USA in 1995. the hype would be so fucking real. lmao

also for those of you who are Younger and Blessed With Good Internet From An Early Age, if you want a good idea of old school internet shit, go ahead and watch WarGames (1983) and look up 2600 Magazine and Mondo 2000 if you don't already know about those.

(personally I consider WarGames and Hackers (1995) to be the two best simultaneously dumbest and best movie depictions of computer bullshit in their respective eras, although Hackers was more of a thing that informed cyber culture after it released rather than reflecting actual hacker culture as it was at that exact time but anyway, please watch them if you have not seen them already, you will love this shit lmao)

I assume almost all of you already know about this stuff, but just in case, I want to mention it. those two movies are really good. lol

anyway, Ratchet dealing with early internet. early shitty human tech. or at least the 90s shit. imagine Ratchet having to listen to the fucking dial up screeching. the kids having to look through geocities webrings to see if any images of the bots had been leaked on any conspiracy websites. just 10/10 lmaooo

"I hate talking to machines" Ratchet, buddy, you have NO IDEA how bad it could have been!!!

anyway I'm old, I guess that's the point of this post LOL

[zalrb]

little women is def the only greta movie I really like, so I’m glad you feel the same. What did you think of the cast and chemistry

Yeah it's definitely a technical accomplishment. I wasn't particularly moved by the monologues or the themes in the dialogue, it kind of just reminded me of Mona Lisa Smile in that way

but as a movie, as, like, a piece of cinema,

I was like, yes, this is breathtaking. When I saw the Laurie/Jo dancing sequence -- probably my favourite in the movie -- I was like ah, OK, this will be a cinematic treat.

I thought the chemistry was great especially between the sisters, they really brought to life the warmth and closeness and affection the March sisters have for each other and the scenes with them just announcing things to each other were very charming and very funny.

I did think Timothee had the appropriate chemistry with Saoirse and Florence respectively. A few years ago someone asked me to watch different scenes in different movies between Saoirse and Timothee to see if I thought they had chemistry, and I concluded that it looks like they get on really well and are very comfortable with each other but they don't have that spark, even when they're playing romantic interests, that makes a scene feel romantically charged for me

and that's how I felt watching Jo and Laurie where I was like, I could believe that they were soulmates but I don't see romance. Whereas with Timothee and Florence, granted the writing is different for them and Laurie is given more flirtatious lines with Amy (when they're 20) but I believe the undercurrent there, I believe the hint of tension, and they played off of each other and the banter well.

I think the weakest actors were Timothee and Emma and I felt like Meg could be taken out of the movie and nothing much about it would really change -- it just seems she's there for that one scene with Jo just before she gets married to indicate that each sister has a different dream, a different goal, and not everyone has to subscribe to Jo's way of thinking, which is a valid reason to have a character but it also felt like that could be done without Meg. I also couldn't take Timothee's pout seriously when Jo rejects Laurie.

I thought Florence was good. Over the years I've briefly seen comments about the Amy/Laurie/Jo thing and a few people said that they didn't believe Laurie would fall for Amy partly because when he sees her in France, years are supposed to have gone by and she's supposed to have transformed but because Florence played both parts, they couldn't quite believe how he would see her differently. I disagree. I think Florence did a really good job in portraying a young, bratty girl and then transforming into a pragmatic, poised young woman.

I also thought Saoirse was good, the scene that stuck out to me the most wasn't any of the monologue scenes, it's actually the first time Beth gets sick and she goes down the stairs, wondering if she's died and there's a hint of panic and sorrow before she beams with relief and happiness at seeing Beth at the table.

Jo is who I related to the most -- I have had my stories ripped apart in front of me and for a while, it was the worst day of my life so her response to Amy burning her novel was like oh yeah I get that -- I'm not as fiercely opposed to marriage as she is but being dedicated to my craft and being content with being alone but also being lonely is something that I (and many women, which is why that monologue circulated for moooooooonthsssssss) relate to, but Amy was my favourite to watch just because I found her one-liners very funny, like her remark that Laurie must be romantic because he's part Italian or when she says that Jo's hair is the only pretty thing about her and she cut it off or when she explains why she burned Jo's novel, it was barely contrite and just her explaining that she did it because there was no other way to hurt her as if her line of reasoning was enough, like I just found that hilarious.

The character that I had the most trouble with is probably Marmee, like she has that conversation with Jo about how she's angry everyday but after forty years, she knows how to not let it get the best of her so I get that we're supposed to understand that she's a person with an inner life and complex emotions and not simply a one-dimensional, static virtuous woman who is just kind all the time but that's basically what she's presented as.

I understand why the ending is the ending but I personally didn't care for it, I thought it was too direct, too much of a breaking of the fourth wall and I generally dislike when they do that at the end of movies.

[nanabansama]

Spoilers for Chapter 109

The latest chapter was a ton of fun, but it ended on a disturbing twist:

Tsukasa, after cleverly freeing himself of his shackles, has incapacitated Kako.

This was shocking, but also very revealing! We were able to learn that Kako's insides are entirely clockwork, and deduce that the same probably goes for Mirai. I suppose this explains how she can be so small...

While it's unclear whether Kako is actually dead or not, I'm not sure if there's any real cause for concern. Tsukasa caused some serious damage, sure, but it isn't as though he pulverised him entirely. It's completely possible that all he needs is someone to put him back together and/or replace some of his damaged parts.

That said, it's convenient he went for Kako! Not only is he the most dangerous Clock Keeper, being able to revert time itself, but with Kako incapacitated there is little reason for Hanako or Nene to rely on the Clock Keepers powers anymore. If you remember, the only reason Hanako decided not to destroy the Clock Keepers' yorishiro was because Kako's powers could be useful in his quest to save Nene's life.

While I'm still uncertain whether Kako is outright dead or not, it does make some sense for the story to get rid of him or his powers. No one got to him in time to undo a catastrophy like the Severance, of course, but he's been like this safety net haunting the story this entire time, ensuring that if anything truly bad were to happen, the characters could just ask Kako to rewind time and fix it. Not guaranteed, of course, but still technically an option.

If Kako were to be gone, it would really up the stakes, is all I'm saying.

Buuuut Nene has other reasons for not wanting to destroy the yorishiro, that being she's aware that the destruction of the last yorishiro directly correlates to her death. She sort of hinted to Hanako that they should stop trying to destroy them, but he still doesn't outright know her reason why, just the vague comment about how Sakura told her they don't have to destroy them.

...which is funny, since Tsukasa just said this:

This was actually one of the most shocking parts of the chapter to me, by the way. Tsukasa could be omitting some key details, but he says he's destroying the yorishiro "for Sakura." Curious, right!? Like, this much is obvious if you've read Chapter 92, but you think he'd have a bigger reason for doing it, y'know...? Again, maybe he just didn't find it necessary to bring his potential other reasons up, but...

Anyway! All this to say that I really wish Nene would just outright tell Hanako that destroying the yorishiro correlates to her death already because I'm still extremely worried he's going to do something stupid and accidentally kill her. Like, what if he finds it weird that Nene said Sakura told her she doesn't need to destroy them, but then Tsukasa says he's destroying them for Sakura? And let's not forget he kind of already agreed to do it with Tsukasa...

I don't know, lots to think about. Probably nothing, though! It isn't like Hanako can destroy the Clock Keepers yorishiro without Nene's help, right? And if she was really backed into a corner, hopefully she could just confess to him the rest of what Sakura told her.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! As always I am very excited for the next release. And don't forget we have a new After School Hanako-kun chapter next week, too! It's a good time to be a Hanako fan. \(^o^)/

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 25/8

Aw, thank you! Sometimes I actually think I overdo it a little - that my dives are a little too deep. This is how I consume media IRL, though, so if nothing else, it's authentic.

The Battlefield is definitely growing. The spatial warping makes it hard to measure how much it's growing, so it could definitely be exponential, especially if we keep adding higher dimensions.

As for how Jack matches up against Bec - Jack is definitely smarter, but he's also a lot more vulnerable, since losing the Ring will render him powerless. He'd have to be incredibly careful in a fight, especially against someone just as fast as he is.

I still think Bec has the edge, but his victory is far from guaranteed. I totally understand why Jade wouldn't want to risk it.

Imagine what Eridan would have said to a 'lowly greenblood' like Jade.

Yeah, there's no way trolls have therapy.

I hate to say it, but the Alternian version of therapy is probably moirallegiance. You're supposed to rely on this one person to keep you emotionally stable - and if you're not outgoing or charismatic enough to find a moirail, you don't even have that.

Of course, this system has nothing in common with the relationship dynamics of any culture on Earth. We really dodged a bullet there!

Gamzee really leans into the 'court jester' aspect of being a bard. He doesn't take anything seriously, nor is he expected to do so - he's just off to the side, dancing.

Yeah, my prediction is that Vriska is going to use him.

If she can manipulate Tavros into trying to control Jack, she might actually be able to remove his Ring. I speculated that she might use some sort of cheat to gain an advantage in their fight, and I think we may have found it.

He casually controls Becsprite later on, so I don't think he needs their goals to align.

As for why Bec didn't try to save Jade - I think he knew instinctually that someone was going to make him save her, so he didn't need to do it manually. That's Alpha, baby!

I can't tell if I've reached the controversial part, to be honest. Was there discourse about whether Tavros had done anything wrong?

Personally, I think it's hard to argue that he didn't, but other characters have done much worse - and in much more ambiguous scenarios, too.

Lord English is coming, send help plz

Thank you! It's kind of funny actually - I know that Homestuck's irregular update schedule used to drive people mad, but I'm reading it at a similar pace, with similar irregularities, and it really has been a chill experience on my end.

Maybe it's because I'm not participating in the fandom the way live readers were, and therefore, I'm not subject to the weapons-grade hiatus brain that Cat has war stories about.

Poor Kanaya - she really knows how to pick 'em. Rose is definitely less stressful to crush on than Vriska, though.

I recently saw this quote for the first time in a while. Excited to learn which of the comic's several thousand plot points it's referencing.

@spyril4132 asked: i have seen this in my youtube recommendations and must now share [s] descend but with silvagunner's high quality nuclear rip - YouTube

Legitimately amazing, and perfectly timed.

For anyone doesn't know about Silvagunner, please take a dip down this rabbit hole.

I do wonder how she's getting physical details about the Sun. Isn't it, like, fully outside of conventional reality?

Maybe the Sun is physically real, despite being in an unreal location. Technically, that's also the case with sessions.

I do like the 'music player' metaphor from an earlier ask. You don't necessarily have to use discs - a cassette player is also a good choice, or maybe an older variety of music box.

If you want to stretch the symbolism a little, your Time Player could wield something really kooky, like an iPod Nano, MIDI keyboard, or analog radio.

(Sally the Time Player would wield Rhythm Heaven for the Nintendo DS.)

It's been years since I've watched Primer, actually. I remember enjoying it, but I don't recall enough to give a proper review. Rewatch time!

Yeah, the rules for Captcha codes are all over the place. This example implies that they hold the general idea of an object, without any 'corruption' - but when John's Ghost Dad poster was defaced, its code did change.

The implication, I guess, is that defacing a poster counts as changing its nature, but spilling oil on a pogo ride does not. It's weird.

It is odd that it's marketed as a beta. Sburb and Sgrub seem almost identical, the latter's bifurcated session notwithstanding.

The human session failed, yes - but it failed due to manipulation, sabotage, and a generous helping of terrible luck. If Gamzee prototyped one of his clown posters, Jack's regicide could just as easily have happened in Sgrub.

All that said - when it comes to software development, I'd trust Sollux over Grandpa any day. If one of those games is more stable, it's Sgrub.

Alright, that one's actually pretty great lmao

[fabiolajyx]

They cancelled The Serpent Queen and I am so fucking mad!!

I'm french and guess where do I live? In the Loire Valley!! My hometown, Vendôme, is where The House of Bourbon (the one we see in the show) is from. Their full name is actually de Bourdon-Vendôme, because there are three different branches and if we only mention "Bourbon", it's kind of confusing because we don't know which branch we speak of and Bourbon-Vendôme is the one Henri IV is from. Which means, the character that we see in the show lived in the castle located next to my elementary school! I was young but I can still see and hear my teacher telling my class "This castle next to us was a big deal.". Henri IV didn't live here but he came a few times, especially when his mother, Jeanne d'Albret, died and was buried here (along with Antoine and their first born son (and Louis, Antoine's brother)). So when Jeanne died in the show, in the story, they technically should have been in my hometown (and Antoine and Louis should have been already dead lol). Same as when Antoine and Louis went back home to their dads. François I, François II, Marie Stuart, Charles IX and Catherine came here. Sadly, the castle is just ruins now... But it makes me sad that they never mentioned the name of the town once. Even Reign mentioned it. I mean, everyone knows that Reign was more fiction than facts but still, they mentioned Vendôme in one of the latest episodes of the show and it's still one of my proudest moment 🥹

Since I live in Vendôme, it means that I live 30 min away from le Château de Chambord, where they filmed most of the show. I love going there whenever I can but sadly, I never got the chance to go there when they were filming... 💔 It was weird and funny to see how they edited the outsides of the castle. Some editing didn't make any sense but I get it. Also, the big gardens are from a completely different castle located in Villandry. So it was weird to see Chambord edited in the background. And it didn't make any sense when we would see Chambord fully and the gardens weren't there, haha.

Also, le Château d'Amboise was used two times and they kinda disrespected it 😅 I'm not entirely serious when I say this but I kinda I am. The first time is in the season one finale, when Mary "arrives" in Scotland. The second that I saw the location I said "Oh, Amboise" and then I saw the ocean next to it and realised that it was supposed to be Scotland 😭 The second time was in season two when Catherine visits Diane (who is still pretty young and most importantly, miraculously still alive in 1572 😭). When Diane and Catherine talk we discover that they are in "Anet" (where she died in 1566). I was so happy when they mentioned where they were in the story but I was like "but, but, it's Amboise, guys 😭". It's funny and confusing for me because I know those castles but it's perfectly fine for an audience who has no clue. Also, le Château d'Anet is a private property, so I don't know if they would have allowed the show to come and filmed there, but also I've seen a documentary a few months ago and the owner seems very sweet, so I don't know. They also used Amboise, the town, to be Paris, where Catherine's brother was supposed to build le Palais des Tuileries.

And last but not least, I wanna talk about Blois (20 min away from me, next to Chambord) Oooh, Blois is probably my biggest heartbreak from that show. In season one, it made sense to be in Chambord because this castle was François I's baby but he lived there for only a month. Henri II didn't live there but kept the constructions going. When Henri II died, François II didn't live there. Charles IX didn't live there either but just like his father before him, he kept the constructions going and consolidated it. Henri III and Henri IV didn't live there and didn't do anything to it (it's such an Anjou and Henri behavior if you ask me haha). But if Henri II, François II, Charles IX and Henri III didn't live there, then where did they live, you ask?! Well, they lived in BLOIS. Which means that the whole show should have been happening in le Château de Blois, not Chambord. Y'all have no idea how excited I was when I heard that season 2 was filming in Blois. I thought, finally, they are going to aknowledge the most important castle of the Valois! I mean they actually all lived there and this is where Catherine died!! When I say that that castle is important to the Valois' story, it's because it is. Do I need to tell you how disappointed I was when I saw season 2 last week? A) I was expecting multiple scenes in the castle and well, that didn't happen. B) I had to wait the very last episode to see what they filmed there. C) THEY DIDN'T EVEN FILMED IN THE CASTLE!!! We see all the Protestants walking across the bridge, we see a few streets that I'm not even sure if it's actually Blois and then we see the castle, in the background, behind all the protestants who are looking at a cathedral that is not even located there. THEY EDITED THE CATHEDRAL OF TOURS IN BLOIS 😭 It's not fair. Honestly, all the editing stuff didn't really bother me. I understand that they did whatever they needed to for the aesthetic of the show. But not mentioning once the name of the town that was important to the true Valois Kings and Queens is something that I truly don't understand.

The show is about the French history, is filmed in France and guess what? We had NO WHERE TO WATCH IT IN FRANCE. The show arrived like a week ago on Max and it's been n°5 in the top 10 since then. French people want to see their country in a show and support it, we have the proof and THEY CANCEL IT?! I am so upset. They could have give it a third and last season to wrap it up. Season 2 was so much better than season 1. The Valois siblings did bring so much more depth, especially Anjou.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M LOSING KING ANJOU. The potential that he had was insane.

Okay, I'm gonna shut up now and cry about it 😭

[spaceorphan18]

@yadivagirl who wanted to know what issues I had with the Duran Druan Mash up and You Make Me Feel So Young

So, I want preface this by saying, I do actually like both of these songs.

Rio/Hungry Like the Wolf: I realized I haven't watched this in a long, long time - there are beats that are really funny. And the dynamic between Cooper and Blaine is hysterical and very telling and ooff, it is tragic that Matt Bomer was only in one episode.

Anyway - my big issue here is a technical one. The sound of this performance is so processed that it's very apparent that they've done stuff to the audio. It kind of destroys the illusion that it's happening live.

Also, oof, people don't kill me - I'm not a huge fan of Blaine's outfits in Season 3. I know the whole bowtie thing was a thing but *scrunches nose* fine.

You Make Me Feel So Young: This one is perhaps a little more complicated to talk about. And maybe indicative of the biggest issue I had/have with the back part of Season 5. They didn't have Kurt and Blaine have many happy moments to offset their struggles.

This performance is just so complex. I will say, unlike Rio, technically, it's great. The boys both sound wonderful on it, and the audio is just perfect. I like the sound of it.

The scenes are, hmmm, it straddles this very vague line of where Kurt is and it's kind of confusing until you get the full view of what is going on in the episode. It's the morning after the bug incident, where Kurt got no sleep, and he's struggling because his partner is attached to his hip and he needs some space and doesn't know how to express that. So there's a little bit of intentional agitation from Kurt throughout the whole song.

And it is purposeful, and it's appropriate for the story, and it's supposed to at odds with Blaine's already living as an 80yo man mentality. (They are young already, why are they even singing this? Oh because Blaine is trying to make his life a 40s musical.) But we get so little domestic Klaine in the show that something that's it's a shame we didn't get to see any of their honeymoon period before the strains of an actual relationship happen.

That said, there are moments I genuinely like - like the pillow fight where they both seem to actually be enjoying it, and is an actual youthful thing, and when they come back from shopping - and Kurt is in a much better mood. (and would have been in an even better mood had he been able to have his sexy times...)

So, ha, there ya go! :)