#... There's still some part of me that wants to believe that at some point he DID care. But...

[jaeyunnz]

𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙊𝙛 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩

ni-ki + f¡reader ❤︎ 18+

WARNINGS — dom!ni-ki, sub¡reader, arguing, making out, cussing, rough sex, unprotected sex (dont do it.) sucking him off, hair pulling, spanking, pet names.

this is proofread ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<) !!!

Last night, Riki and you had got into a huge argument about him being on the phone 24/7. You already overthink a lot and seeing him do that raises your suspicions even if it may really be nothing. You thought he was texting some other girl, with the way he's been ignoring you and too engrossed on the screen. When you brought it up, he was calm about it and told you it was nothing, just him doing work. Though you didn't believe that, and kept nagging at him, so then he snapped. After that, the both of you have been silent, not even looking at eachother once.

On a midnight around 10:45 pm, Riki got back from work and took off his jacket, hanging it on the coat hanger, still in his suit. He kicks off his shoes and sees you in the kitchen, cooking. He doesn't bother to say anything and just walks upstairs to the bedroom, slamming the door which caused you to jump at the sound, sighing.

You finish cooking him something to eat and make your way upstairs, knocking gently on the door. Theres no reply, its just silent. You grab the knob and turn it slowly, opening it and seeing Riki yet again on his phone, sitting on the bed with his head against his arm. He doesn't acknowledge the fact that your there, so you take a step closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Riki?" You whisper softly, but there still isn't a reply. "Riki."

He finally lifts his head up, meeting your eyes with an intense gaze. "Look I had a shitty day at work, I don't need this. " he says with a grunt, breaking eyecontact with you. "I'm not here to argue with you, I made you dinner." Saying softly, he looks up at you, "cool, not hungry." You frown, placing the plate on the nightstand, "You better eat." He snaps his head back up to look at you, crossing his arms. "And you better leave my room."

You sit there, a bit upset at how harsh he's being. You spent a lot of time making him food and the fact that he's rejecting it? Over a dumb argument?

"Really, Riki? Why are you being like this?" He ignores you, still on his phone, you furrow your eyebrows and slightly peek to see what he's doing. "What the hell are you doing that's so important, I dont understand!?-" he cuts you off when he slams his phone down on the nightstand, causing it to shake. "You wanna check my fucking phone?" He grabs it, tossing it to you. You stare at it, unsure what to do at this point. "Go, check it since your on my dick about it all the time."

"I don't need to.. I trust you, I just want your attention, Ki." He pokes his tongue through his cheek, shaking his head slightly. He gets up from the bed, staring down at you. "It's not like I'm purposely ignoring you, I have a lot to do." You get up as well, looking up at him, "I know and I'm sorry." He turns his head the other way, grunting. "Let me make it up to you... please? I'll do anything, Ki."

He doesn't reply, so you decide there isn't any use and your about to leave the room til he grabs you, pushing you harshly against the wall, pinning your body down. You gasp from the sudden movement, swallowing hard and locking eyecontact with him.

He smashes his lips against yours in a harsh kiss, your eyes widen for a moment before you give in, wrapping your arms around his neck. Once your lips part, he slips his tongue inside your mouth, rubbing it against yours while trailing his hand down to wrap around your waist, a moan escapes your lips. He slowly pulls back, the both of you panting heavily.

Barely a few seconds passed by and he dives back in, this time leaving a trail of wet sloppy and rough kisses on your neck, sucking or nipping at the skin. You grip onto the back of his hair, rolling your eyes back. "A-ah mmph, Ki..." He leaves a few marks on your neck before pulling back slightly. "Make it up to me huh?" He groans out as you nod, confirming this. He places his hands on your shoulders, shoving you onto your knees.

"Take off my belt." You widen your eyes, knowing where this is going before undoing his belt slowly, his hand coming down to yank your hair back roughly, a whimper escaping your mouth. "Hurry the fuck up." You gulp as he lets go of your hair, working faster this time and finally slipping it off, tossing it aside before looking up at him to guide you. "I think you know what to do from here, hm?" He looks down at you, your hand moving up and unzipping his pants, yanking it down along with his boxers.

His cock springs free, its big and has a slight curve to it. You admire his length for a moment before swallowing hard. "R-riki... I don't know if that'll fit in my mouth." He slides his hand down to cup your cheek, "I'm sure you can do it, babygirl. And if you don't i'll shove it down your throat myself." Your eyes wide in surprise from his words, his thumb running against your bottom lip. He's never usually this rough with you, but maybe it's because of your earlier arguments. He's probably frustrated.

"So, can you handle that, or what? Or are you gonna back out now, because fuck, if you start and then can't finish, I swear to god." Gulping, you shake your head and murmur out, "I-I'll try..." Nervously hesitating, you wrap your hand around the base, your palm and fingers barely around the length fully due to his huge size, placing gentle kisses on the head of his cock. He places his hand on the wall behind you, biting his lower lip. Finally you take only the tip inside your mouth, sucking and kitty licking it. "Fffuck..." he groans out, tilting his head back. Your tongue swirls around the head, his cock already leaking pre-cum as his free hand comes down to grip your hair, pulling you closer.

This causes you to take more of his length, almost choking. Grabbing his hips for balance, you move your head lower, bobbing your head up and down at a slow pace. "Fuck yeah... just like that baby." He grunts out deeply, fluttering his eyes shut in pleasure. "Damnit... your mouth feels so good."

His breath hitches as your head moves up and down at a faster pace. He starts bucking his hips forward, thrusting deep down your throat and causing you to gag, drool forming and dripping down the corner of your mouth. "Fuck I'm gonna cum." he pulls his cock out of your mouth and you instantly gasp, a string of saliva attached from your lips to the tip of his cock, panting heavily.

"Bend over for me baby." He breathes out, you follow his orders and lay onto the bed with your hips up, your ass in the air. He climbs behind you, pressing his bare cock against your shorts. You bite your lower lip and push your ass back against him, a loud groan escaping his mouth. He wraps his thick arms around your waist, pulling your hips up higher and roughly shoving your shorts down along with your panties. He spits on his palm, rubbing the saliva onto his massive head. He presses the blunt tip against your cunt, pushing slowly. "Oh shit."

You arch your back, screeching softly from the feeling, "A-ah, Ki!" He grips your thighs tighter, pushing his thick cockhead past your resisting pussy with a low grunt. "Damnit." He inches in deeper, spreading you obscenely wide. His cock twitches violently as he sheathes himself halfway inside you. "You're squeezing me so fucking tight..." He's barely halfway in, and you're already whimpering and arching your back against him like a cat in heat.

"T-too big.." you whimper out in pain and pleasure. He wraps his massive hands around your waist, pulling you onto his thick length inch by agonizing inch, causing you to fill the room up with pleasured screams. "Fuck. Take it babygirl... you can do it." He groans deeply as he bottoms out, his huge cock buried to the hilt inside your tight pussy. "Fuuuck..." He leans over your back, panting heavily into your ear. "A-ah, Ki! P-please be more gentle i...it's too much hahh.."

His massive dick throbs inside you, his thrusts becoming deeper. Hes not planning on going easy with you, especially not after the argument. Hes frustrated and this is his way of relieving it.

Your hands grip tightly onto the bedsheets, digging your fingernails in the soft material as your eyes roll back, his thick cock rubbing against your inner walls, "You're gonna make me cum." He grabs your hips roughly, pounding into you steadily, his massive cock stretching you wide open with each thrust as the room gets filled with his groans and your whiny screams. He adjusts his angle slightly, hitting a spot deep inside you that makes you moan continuously. "Your taking this dick so well, babe."

"A-ahh Riki, I'm g-gonna-" He slams into you again, his huge length almost lifting you off the bed. You squirm around, your thighs are shaking violently from the pleasure and roughness of his thrusts. "Cum for me babygirl." He whispers dirtily, bringing his hand down to spank your ass, leaving a red hand print as it causes you to lift your hips up, wincing in both pain and pleasure.

Your clenching tightly around him before reaching your climax, cumming and squirting all over his cock and the bedsheets. He pounds into you wildly, grunting loudly as he feels his orgasm approaching. "Shit, I'm cumming!" He slams his cock as deep as physically possible, his thick shaft throbbing intensely inside your tight pussy. "Take it all, fuck!" He smacks your ass one last time, a gasp coming out of your mouth while his massive load floods your inner walls with sticky cum.

He slowly pulls out, you whine from the loss of contact and fall onto the bed, exhausted. His massive length coated in your juices and his thick load. He sees it leak out of you, running down your thighs. "Fuck, baby. That was incredible." he leans down to gently kiss your cheek, collapsing ontop of you. "Y-yeah? It better have been.. because m-my ass is sore." he lets out a chuckle, leaving soft kisses on your neck. "My poor baby. A little too rough huh?" You look up at him with half closed eyes, kissing his lips, "mm... but i liked it." You smile tiredly at him.

💘: I LOVE RIKI AHHH anyways thank you to everyone on here for being so sweet!!! lmk who i should do next, maybe jungwon or sunghoon? ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

[sophieinwonderland]

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you thought playground bully-level namecalling warranted a response.

It's pretty obviously a baseless ad hominem tossed into a serious discussion to distract from the fact that all your earlier points were thoroughly debunked.

There's not really a counterargument that can be made to such a baseless accusation either. Denial just leads to an endless back and forth of "no I'm not," "yes you are," "no I'm not." I could even point out how every accusation from Republicans tends to be a confession. But then it just devolves into an endless game of "no I'm not, you are." Which I think is kind of the point. Getting me to stoop your level of arguing. Making the conversation more about feelings than facts. Because that's where Republicans thrive.

But on second thought... maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss this. If nothing else, it is a prime example of Republican brainwashing. Because one thing that is pretty clear is how Republicans are still pushing the baseless myth that queer people are pedophiles and using this myth to brainwash and radicalize their gullible voters.

Despite all of their accusations, I've never seen a study showing that trans people or other queer people are more likely to predators than their political opponents.

But Republicans are depending on you not questioning the narrative.

They just repeat something long enough, and the useful idiots will believe it.

I believe Hitler called this tactic "The Big Lie."

Looking at your blog, it looks like you have all the hallmarks of a future domestic terrorist successfully brainwashed and radicalized to be okay with murdering fellow Americans.

"Pedophiles should be killed."

"Liberals are pedophiles."

"Liberals should be killed."

Is the final unspoken part of this.

It is legitimately worrying how deeply brainwashed you are to accept fascism.

Anyway, while you are fearmongering about liberals being dangerous to children, here's a video of the new Fuhrer talking about how he wants to date his daughter.

Here's a quote of him describing her as "voluptuous."

Some fun family photos:

Trump's favorite thing he has in common with Ivanka is "sex."

Trump used to barge in on teenage girls changing:

And finally, here are some remarks on Trump about his friend, Jeffrey Epstein:

How to trigger Republicans, sysmeds and other bigots in 1 easy steps

Step 1: Post facts with sources

That's literally it.

If you threaten them or call them names, they will feel vindicated in their persecution complexes. But if you prove them wrong with facts, they will block you instantly because being proven wrong bruises their ego and they can't cope with it.

If you're angry at bigots and want to hurt them, I promise that nothing will inflict more emotional damage than calmly explaining why they're wrong with sources to back it up.

[mysterylilycheeta]

ONYX STORM REVIEW:

After 2 days of catching up on all the work I had postponed for the sake of reading OS, and organising my thoughts, I'm here with my spoiler free review of Onyx Storm. Please remember that these are my personal thoughts and opinions and you're free to agree or disagree based on your views

Rating: 3.25 stars

The Good:

The absolute lack of miscommunication between Xaden and Violet: This book is a gift for all those people who were annoyed to their wit's end by the repetitive stupid fights between Xaden and Violet in Iron Flame. They trust each other, communicate with each other and don't get mad about secrets. I was so pleasantly surprised

Ridoc: Ridoc went through such amazing character development, he easily became one of my favourite characters in the story. We saw him as only the comic relief friend till now but man, he shows such badassery in this book while still being his clown self. And, let's not forget his favourite dick jokes!

The Dragons: Anyone who knows me knows my favourite part about the series is Tairn and the other dragons. Love seeing my grumpy dad dragon, he's such a mood. We also have our sassy teenager Andarna to give him grief. I love all the moments Tairn started boasting about his lineage and his feat: he's such a dork!

Dain and Cat: I never truly hated Dain because I knew from Fourth Wing itself he never intentionally wanted to harm Violet. My only gripe with him was about breaking her trust and looking through her memories without her consent. But man, does he redeem himself. Needless to say, Dain is on my "need to protect" list. I really hated Cat in Iron Flame because she was such a stereotypical cringey evil ex and the way she attacked Violet was so crass and below the belt. She still has some shitty moments in the beginning of the book but she gets a lot better so much so that I want good things to happen to her in the next books. RY did a great job writing these two

Jealous Xaden: My o my was it a treat to see Xaden so jealous. RY fed us with those entertaining af moments. Read the book and you'll find out what I mean

Aaric: I was intrigued by Aaric in book 2 but he stepped up the game so much in this book. He is an amazing character and I'll throw hands if RY even tries to harm him in any way, istg.

The Bad:

Very mediocre worldbuilding: This might be just a timing issue, but the last fantasy book I read was the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson, and every fantasy fan knows the kind of world-building Sanderson does. Onyx Storm tries to introduce us to new places beside the continent, but it is not well done. We spend half the book in the Isle Kingdoms, yet they're not even mentioned on the map. They talk about routes to get to the kingdoms, but how am I supposed to follow them if you won't even mention them on the maps? Every Island has a god it worships and things go according to that but I think we could've had a little more information about them beforehand instead of being presented basic info right before we arrive at the next island. "We're going to said island, this is the god they believe in, here's a five point bullet lost of their customs"- NO, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT! Like I said, it might be because my last book was by Sanderson so my expectations were higher but the world felt so lacking.

Lack of Glossary: A glossary should be a must in every fantasy book, especially if you're branching out and diving deeper into worldbuilding. We are introduced to gods, islands, uprisings and groups of people we haven't even heard of before and we get hardly one or two lines about them in a chapter and then they are mentioned again 2 chapters later and we're supposed to follow. There were so many new names in OS, it was difficult to keep track of them after a while. I still don't completely understand who the Krovlan people were and what was their deal.

Lack of Basgiath: My favourite book in the series till now has been Fourth Wing and one of the biggest reasons for that was Basgiath. I loved that place and the way it felt an actual character in the story. That Basgiath charm is missing in this book. Basgiath is the biggest strength of this series, it's the reason why FW was so successful, the war college and it's deadly atmosphere, the challenges, the interpersonal relations, it was entertaining af. However as the series is progressing, it's turning into another typical romantasy involving young adults leading revolutions, making alliances, fighting wars etc. I started reading Fourth Wing because of it's setting and yet with each new book, we spend less and less time in Basgiath and it's just dampening my mood.

No real surprises: Let me be brutally honest- this book felt like a filler. Of course there are a few shocking moments with new information but it hardly hit the mark like the previous two books. There were no moments that essentially packed a punch. It's just a bunch of random sidequests to gain alliances which didn't up feeling all that meaningful because of worldbuilding problems. It also seemed like fanservice because of a lot of reasons but I won't mention them as they can be accounted as minor spoilers. Some characters died but it didn't feel impactful at all. It seemed more like Ry was just filling up the death quota because we can't have a book where no one dies

Violet and Xaden: Okay so here's the thing, I like both of them as characters and I think they make a good pair. However, I didn't ever truly feel the romance and this has been a problem since Fourth Wing. They have a shit ton of lusty moments but hardly any soft romantic domestic moments that make the relationship feel organic. I have always been disappointed by the lack of proper romantic development between these two. The problem in this book however is the dialogue- they felt so cheesy and downright cringe at times. Maybe show more and say less?? The way they keep saying nothing else matters as much and I know people are feral for how Xaden and Violet are ready to throw off the entire rebellion for each other but it irks me so much. Xaden, you are leading these people and you have accepted that responsibility. Stop endangering the lives of people you swore to protect because Violet might be in danger. She has other people to support her. Violet, don't get mad when people tell you your needs and wants will come second to Xaden's duty towards the people. He is their leader, he has to make those sacrifices, If you think that's unfair then find someone else to fill his position. You can't have the leadership position yet be each other's top priority. It might seem unfair but that is the right thing to do. I really don't feel like the two of them are fit to lead people. Agree with @thequietesthing's review about Violet's god level power feeling over dramatic and out of character at times.

The Ending: If any of you have talked to me about the book in the last few days, you'll know I'm frustrated af with the ending. It doesn't exactly feel like a well done cliffhanger, it's just plain messy. A bunch of unanswered questions to keep the reader confused and hooked for the next book but it just ruined the whole book for me. I have no issues with cliffhangers but the book should feel complete. The way Onyx Storm ended, it feels there were at least two more chapters that got deleted. It's just all over the place.

That was the review guys. I'll still wait for the next book to get published but my excitement has gone down quite a lot. I was expecting more of a Harry Potter style story where the main still occurs in the school/college itself but it seems like that isn't gonna be the case. I honestly believe this series should've been just 3 books instead of 5 but oh well, what can we say. Really agree with @justallihere and @justascrollingghost. We have almost the same complaints with the books lol P.S: The best surprise in this book: Broccoli, the kitten

[rockybloo]

I feel like bitchin so I'mma bitch bc I always see people going on rants on their Tumblrs and I'm long overdue for one. Anyways, this is a long one so be aware you are gonna be scrolling for a good bit if you view under the cut.

ANYWAYS, I know that that rude anon from last week is old news but their whole "I'm sad that Glitter and Guilt is a m/f relationship" thing is just a part of a never ending situation I am going to experience til the end of time (or til I stop posting stuff online) just because I focus on primarily m/f relationships in my art.

And they aren't even straight m/f relationships, which is what annoys me the most about comments like this. They're all bisexual. But because people see bisexual characters as better than straight but less than same-sex attracted orientation, I will always have to deal with these passive aggressive ass comments.

I dealt with this typa stuff SO OFTEN in my early days on Instagram, especially when I posted some of my gender nonconforming OCs like Danny (my pink demon man who dresses like a bimbo Barbie doll). It got to the point I stopped sharing him over there for a bit because I would get comments where people were hoping he had a boyfriend in the past, or they were disappointed I "never" drew any Sapphic couples because they mistook Danny as a woman in a pic where he was kissing Karrie.

And I get the whole desire to want more representation. Trust me, I'm bi, black, and nonbinary. I am NEVER going to get any type of representation outside of the indie artists I find in small niche circles online. I completely get the whole "m/f relationships are EVERYWHERE in mainstream media" mentality because I also agree but only to a point.

There's a ton of trashy m/f media, but there's also good shit when you dig because you can find people who don't just shove a guy and girl together and call that a done deal - they actually give them personality and chemistry and a fun dynamic.

I'm a firm believer that the gender of a ship shouldn't dictate if it's good or not. An interesting dynamic is what motivates me to care about a couple of characters dating. That's why it bugs me whenever someone suggests any kind of series to me and simply tells me "It's gay" before telling me the actual plotline. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT A SERIES IS ABOUT! DO NOT WASTE MY TIME!!! (Please do not pop into my inbox after reading this and suggest me stuff btw because I've never been a big suggestions unprompted person - I typically find stuff myself bc I have weird tastes ANYWAYS BACK TO MY RANTING)

When it comes to my art, I draw m/f relationships as a primary focus because it's fun to mess with gender dynamics and flip them on their head, as well as to give younger me the food I wish I had. Growing up, before I realized I was nonbinary, I rarely saw any black girls in loving relationships in animated series I enjoyed. And occasionally I would get flash banged with the long despised trope of "Disposable Black Girlfriend". So I never felt like m/f relationships were oversaturated in my eyes because there were barely any good ones that featured a black girl with a happy ending - which means from DAY MOTHERFUCKIN ONE I was starving for content.

So that obviously means that when I grew up and adopted my "Make your own food" mentality, I started cooking. AND COOK I STILL DO! Because in the end, I make all this food to please myself. OTHERS MAY EAT OF COURSE - I am always happy when people come to my restaurant to dine because they enjoy my meals, but I hate how every blue moon I will get someone who waltzes into my little eatery and tells me that they wish I cooked the meal they get from other restaurants.

Because it would be so much more productive to just go eat AT those restaurants since they already got the food you like.

Having people comment their displeasure about me drawing a guy and a girl together in a healthy (and occasionally insane) relationship is always baffling to me. It's never going to make me stop, it'll only make me draw more Red Beans or more Licorice. It's also so baffling because I know that if the tables where flipped - and I was drawing primarily same-sex bisexual couples (OR JUST SOME GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES IN GENERAL BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT BI FOLKS AT ALL), it would be so fuckin' frowned upon to comment "I wish you drew more m/f! 🥺"

But because I draw m/f bi couples, it's totally free game. IT'S DEF STILL FROWNED UPON but one is way more likely to make you look like an asshole than the other. Because even in cases where people have said they agree it's a dick move to complain about m/f from me, there's still that vibe of it being more acceptable just because of mainstream media having so many m/f couples and that being the standard of offline society.

But I'm not mainstream media. And I disagree with a lot of standards of offline society which is WHY I poke fun at gender norms with my OCs.

That's why getting a ton of new followers is such a "oh boy here we go" thing for me, because with old followers that have been around for awhile, they know what's up. They understand what I draw, what I write, and how my OCs typically behave. They get that my m/f ships have rabies.

But new followers don't know this. And this has led to some real big "OOF" moments. Like people calling Jack and Nana a "het" couple. Yes, I know that that's a term that doesn't JUST mean "heterosexual" and can refer to them being different genders. It still feels hella weird for me - it's why m/f is my preferred descriptor because it lacks that confusion.

New followers are typically the ones that leave the passive aggressive comments about me mostly drawing m/f. OFTEN because they think I am one of those artists who will draw whatever it takes to please my audience. BUT I AM NOT - THERE IS NO AUDIENCE INFLUENCE HERE ☝🏾

I am not a taxi where I pick people up whenever they call me and I drop them off wherever they tell me.

I am a roller-coaster. Specifically those ones where you can see the entire track layout in the distance so you know what you're in for. You may sit in the front or the back or somewhere in the middle but that is the last input you got before I take off at my own speed (that will be stated RIGHT on the warning sign you read as you walked in) and once I am done, you may get off and carry along your merry way through the rest of the park OR you may get on to ride again.

This entire passive aggression towards m/f ships is just so tiring to deal with because there will never be an end to it. Even after I post this, I know days, weeks, months, YEARS down the line - someone will see some Jack and Nana art, or some Bitterbat and Sweetheart comic, or ANY of my other m/f couples, and type up some comment about how they wish the couples were same-sex. Or someone will lament over the fact they thought a couple was same-sex but it turned out the dude was just hella feminine.

Because it just ain't enough to have bisexual characters that are dating the same sex because then people will call them "straight passing" and not count them as being queer. And having all my OCs being bisexuals ain't enough to mark me as a queer artists in some eyes because "making all your OCs bi is just lazy" and not me representing an aspect of myself that I constantly see sidelined online.

Me drawing bisexual m/f couples is viewed as something that can be tinkered and tampered with so I can be more appealing and inclusive to others like I'm some mainstream Hollywood series and not just some random person online who draw the fictional beings in my mind kissing each other whenever I got the crumb of free time. Primarily drawing m/f couples means I gotta just vibe whenever I see a moot or a friend post or reblog some weird sentiment referring to how lame m/f couples are and I just gotta HOPE that they aren't including bisexuals when they engage with stuff like that.

I'm in this weird space where I am wedged between "You're not a straight artist" and "You aren't drawing enough gay stuff" online.

And I'm fine with this since I've been online for over a decade at this point. This isn't a vent post, this is a rant. I don't need cheering up or comfort after posting this. This is just some real talk because I typically post lighthearted stuff since I like to keep my blogs positive.

But I also like to keep my shit honest and I think it's important to just state a piece of my mind. I wouldn't say I'm being vulnerable, this is just some insight to why I draw what I do and why I get so annoyed by certain interactions with people and certain sentiments online that are antagonistic of m/f ships that put them all down without hearing them out.

Blah blah blah I'm tired of typing and I've said most of the main points I've needed uuuummm

If you read this long have some m/f fluff

[atangledfate]

Neither Sonic Nor Miles wished to engage in Kitsunami's obvious attempts to bait them into arguing. Honestly it would be impossible to justify it to him. But deep down Sonic was scared of what he'd become if he gave into that urge to kill. It wasn't like he didn't want to or hadn't tried to kill Eggman before. Hell he died once for it even if no one remembered it. It was impossible to explain it to anyone, or deny he didn't want to strangle Eggman. But he made a promise a long time ago--- he couldn't break it. Not to her, of all people she mattered more to him then Kit would know.

" ... Maybe you are right... Can't change the past though. No point arguing about it. Wish things had been different... but i still believe in Tinker... Belle is proof that ... he could have done so much good. I'm sad it turned out how it did... but if thought i could turn Eggman back into tinker--- I'd do it without hesitation... Even if i did have to risk everything..."

He spoke in a somber Tone, his eyes drifting to Belle knowing deep down what she lost. Part of him felt like maybe it was worth it to give her a chance at life. Even if it ended badly, if he had done things differently who knows what would have become of Belle. The thought didn't sit well with him, and he wanted to see Belle Happy. She deserved it, he owed it to her.

Miles wasn't sure what to say to the other Fox, he knew how much they'd been hurt by starline. But nothing he could say would mend that bridge. Surge and Kit would always hate them it seemed, even if he wished deep down he could change that. He wanted to be Kit's friend, to share ideas, and help him find his way in life. but he was smart enough to recognize that kind of anger--- was going to need time and distance to mend.

===============================================

Lanolin crossed her arms as she listened to Blaze's explanation and reasoning. Though she had this feeling in the tips of her horns that it wasn't a good idea for GUN to get there hands on Starline. In fact she had the total opposite feeling that they should be the ones to deal with him and, they should hide it from GUN. The thought that they might use him to create some crazy army of super powered mobians like Surge and Kitsunami was maddening to her. But it wouldn't be the first time would it?

" I'm sure you aren't wrong about Starline. The fact GUN would kill to get there paws on him, or the fact it would be good leverage. But i don't think its a good idea for them to know he's alive... "

She explained with a concerned look about her.

" Imagine what GUN would do if they had access to Starline's technology, let alone Starline himself. What monsters would he create with unlimited resources and time... I'd say it would be utter madness for GUN to do that--- But they already did! Shadow was a byproduct of GUN according to what Amy and Miles tells me...."

" I think... we should hide this from GUN... deal with starline ourselves. I'd rather be safe then risk him falling into GUNs hands...the thought is to frightening to consider "

"Well, maybe at one point she could retire from being a thief and just live a nice and peaceful life. You never know, right?" Belle couldn't ignore the now building tension in the room after Kitsunami's rather hostile words so thought it best try to keep the focus on something positive or at the very least keep the subject off of Eggman. Though why did she feel like it wouldn't change much.

"Yes, because Eggman is completely the same way, expect for the fact he's only ever helped just to save himself or to serve his own self interests. You can try to put the blame on Starline, though let's be honest, if Eggman wasn't around would Starline have even turned out the way he did?" Kitsunami knew this wasn't helping anything, just arguing for the sake of arguing at this point, though he couldn't understand how Sonic can still stand by his choice after all the damage it's caused.

===========================================================

"Well, I suppose I have the advantage of my speed and power, along with inheriting my mother's ability to a small degree. It allows me to foresee one's attacks, to a limit degree that is." Blaze could only see a couple moves as her mouth could see an entire battle just by looking at one and plan to counter ever single move. Though now was hardly the time to think about that. The feline wondered if she should have someone from Sol she trusts looking for Starline as well.

"I'm unsure the process of events if I'm being honest. However, I believe I was attacked before Surge and Kitsunami as when he attempted to attack me he seemed a tad more, unstable, if I were to put it. Perhaps that is another factor to take into how I dealt with him so easily. Even if he had that strange glove powering him." Blaze wished she has paid closer attention to details as at the time Starline was more of an annoyance than a threat, at least to her.

"I feel bad for saying this, though it could give us another advantage for making sure there's no doubt Kitsunami won't be arrested or even charged. If Starline is still alive then there's a chance he could attempt to get Surge and Kitsunami back on his side. In a sense G.U.N gets Surge as bait, though they'd more than likely keep an eye on Kitsunami as he could be considered an easier target than one locked in a G.U.N prison."

Blaze truly felt awful using this sort of logic, though it was certainly a good point that even this Commander Lupus could come up with. Not putting all your eggs in one basket as the saying goes. If Starline goes after Surge G.U.N can respond quickly and harshly, and if he goes after Kitsunami then they can spring in a surprise visit and have him cornered between them and The Restoration.

[sunnyie-eve]

54 | Today is the Day

Series: Unexpected

Paring: Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: steamy kissing, slight dry humping

| MASTERLIST |

At the moment Dani dreaded getting out of bed. Last night her and Matt finally agreed to let Nick and Chris in on the secret of them. They were even going to film a video for her channel to post in the future to announce they were together. But that wasn't the main reason she wasn't jumping for joy. He also mentioned telling Colby after telling Nick and Chris later in the day.

Turning her head to the right, she looks at the spot Matt was sleeping in before sneaking back to his room before anyone woke up, "I hate that I fell for your stupid ass." She laughs at herself. 

Rolling out of bed she grabs clothes for the day to change into after her shower. She hoped a shower would relax her a bit. While showering she hears Matt enter the bathroom to use it, "Morning." He tells her still tired.

"What time did you leave?" 

"I believe it was six o'clock. I still don't understand while we've been sneaking back to our rooms for the past few weeks. They already know we have sleepovers." Matt looks at himself in the mirror.

"We didn't want them thinking too much." She laughs.

"Well to keep up the act... I'll leave now. They're in the kitchen so they know I came in here while you're showering." He tells her before opening the shower door to poke his head in, "Kiss." Dani shakes her head giving him a kiss before he leaves.

Nick and Chris still didn't fully understand how the two shared the bathroom when one was showering and the other had to pee. The shower door was semi-see though so they thought it was impossible but it wasn't. Way before the two even started dating then talked about how they could make it work. Plan and simple, don't look. Do what you need to do and go. Plus they respected each other no matter how bad they each wanted to take a peek at some point.

After the shower, Dani eats breakfast with the guys and then they all relax on the couch watching TV before going out later to film the car video for Dani's channel. As time got closer to leaving Matt could tell Dani didn't want it to come. 

"I need to get things ready." She goes to her room and the other two didn't think much of it.

Matt waits for a bit before going to check on her to see her pacing her room, "Honestly, I'm relieved we are finally doing this with them." He tells her.

"Until they joke even more about us." Dani adds, "And now keep an eye on us when alone."

"True, true, true but I can finally kiss you around the house without being careful." He wraps his arms around her, "That's the best part of this." He gives her a kiss and sees the look on her face, "You're mainly nervous because when we release it and telling Colby later."

"Duh, and we haven't talked since our fight. What when I see him say, hey remember that fight we had about me liking Matt or not? Yeah, we've been dating for months actually." She gives Matt a look walking away from him as he sits on her bed,

"Not exactly, but I'll be with you. If he acts up we leave. It's that simple." He tells her, "Come here." He puts his arms out then takes her hands pulling her closer, "You won't be alone, I promise."

"And this is why I fucking love you."

What started as a sweet and slow kiss quickly turned into Dani straddling his lap, making out intensely. The thought of Colby was completely forgotten, his hands resting firmly on her hips as he held her close. Matt's grip tightened on her hips as the kiss deepened, his body responding eagerly to her closeness. His hands slide up from her hips, trailing gently along her sides

Matt pauses briefly, "We should hurry and tell them." He leans in, his lips hovering just inches from hers, his breath mingling with hers, "Just so they know if we're alone to leave us alone." He murmurs, his voice low, before attacking her lips again.

"Matt." She giggles as she kisses him back. 

His thumb gently tilts her chin up so he can deepen the kiss. His hands slowly slide down to her waist, his touch gentle and reassuring.

Matt's body responds to Dani's closeness and the intensity of the kiss. A noticeable bulge begins to form in his pants, growing with each passing moment. His hands guide her hips in slow, gentle movements against his growing erection, and Dani knew exactly what he was doing. His kisses become more urgent, his breathing heavier as he fights the urge to grind harder against her. 

"You know we're about to leave right." She reminds him trying to hold back her moans as she kisses along his jaw.

"Sadly it doesn't take me long when it comes to you." His hips buckle a bit.

"Yeah, you c-," He cuts her off with his lips on her again. 

Matt's hands slide up her back, arching her closer to him as he continues the rhythm against her. His teeth gently scraping against her neck as he kisses but doesn't suck at her sensitive skin. His free hand reaches up to gently tug at her hair, pulling her head back further to give him better access to her neck.

"GUYS ARE YOU SET TO GO!" Chris yells ready to film since he was bored out of his mind. 

"See what I mean." Matt groans tossing his head back.

"Yeah, and you have extra jeans in here so you're lucky." Dani gets off him.

"Now lets go do this." He smiles once he was in new pants and calms himself down before leaving her room first then she follows.

"Can someone please tell me what we are doing if not a normal car video? For our channel or Dani's channel. I'm getting nervous." Nick asks sitting in the back with Dani as they film for a video.

"It's for the future." Dani lets him and Chris know.

"Guys, I just wanna say before we get into the reason for this future video..." Matt starts to rub his hands together getting nervous.

"So this is for your channel?" Chris looks back at Dani.

"Yes, it's for my channel but for months in advance." She tells him.

"So there's something the two of us know and a few others know too that you two and a few others don't know. It's a big thing and a huge deal that has been going on. Any guesses?" Matt asks his brothers.

"Yeah, it's a big thing that has been going on since late March." Dani adds.

"I seriously have no idea what it could be." Nick laughs, "It sounds like some big secret project."

"Is it a brand deal?" Chris asks looking at Matt then back at her.

"Not close at all." She points with her finger laughing.

"Hell, are you secretly pregnant?" Chris jokes to me funny shocking the others.

"What the fuck? To you, I'm single so how? Plus I would be huge by now." Dani laughs at him not believing him.

"It was a joke since I have no clue what it could be."

"It's a big deal?" Nick looks at Matt.

Matt nods his head, "'It's super huge." Matt turns to look at him.

"Is it bigger than us when we shared you turned me down?" Chris looks back at Dani again.

"I would say it's the same level but higher." Dani nods her head a bit, "Shock value. More hate" She adds.

"Which sucks." Matt says before breaking the news, "Regardless you're my girlfriend." He adds and the two gasp.

"That I am." Dani smiles as Matt looks back at her.

"What?!" Nick shouts, "Are you FUCKING SERIOUS!" He now yells throwing his arms up making Matt and Dani laugh.

"WE KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP!" Chris shouts turning back to point at Nick.

"You fucking assholes."

"Just friends my ass." Chris adds making Nick laugh.

"We did okay." Matt smiles looking back at Dani.

"I think we did well." She agrees with him.

"When we joked about something going on between you two. We didn't seriously think it." Nick explains to the two.

"We just hoped at one point our joking would become true." Chris adds then stops for a second, "Turns out we were right to joke around. And I'm super happy."

"We were lucky we were already super close before hand." Dani explains why she thinks the secret was easy to keep from the two.

"We got to play it off easier." Matt smiles at Dani causing her to smile too.

"Why wait to tell us about it?" Chris asks wanting to know.

"We wanted to enjoy it without you two driving us insane." Dani tells him.

"Technically, you two still drove us crazy wanting it to happen." Matt adds laughing.

"It was worse than if you knew." Dani makes Nick laugh pointing at Chris since he was the main one.

"I feel like you two should thank me." Chris decides to mess with the two.

"Thank... you?" Dani says confused.

"Like what?" Matt turns back to look at her confused as well.

"Yeah." Chris nods his head, "If like she didn't turn me down."

Matt starts to shake his head, "Dude. You're joking but still don't. It's weird. Don't please." M=He says a bit annoyed with the joke because it wasn't funny at all.

Chris looks at his phone for a few seconds as the car filled with silence, "Yeah, I know that was a bit much." Chris agrees it was out of line, "I'm sorry." He apologizes, "Dani, you know it was a joke as well, right?" He looks back at her.

"I do but remember there's still fans who wish I said yes to you..." Dani gives him a look then at the camera, "Too bad so sad to y'all out there that wanted that." She makes the guys crack up.

"Yeah, she's Matt's and only Matt's." Nick snaps his fingers pointing at the camera, "We are team Datt till death." He adds making Matt laugh while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Also Madison, Tara, Justin, and your mom know about us." Dani adds letting them know who else knew before them.

"We know mom and Justin keep secrets." Nick shakes his head rolling his eyes a bit.

"Yep." Matt laughs.

"Now we gotta keep an eye on you two." Chris points his finger at the two shaking it a bit, "No more doors closed." He makes them laugh at him.

"Now I say lets go to lunch before we have to tell Colby." Matt tells the whole car.

"Oh yeah." Nick agrees.

"Man do I wish we were 21 so you two drink beforehand." Chris tells the two and they all laugh.

[cementcornfield]

You should post your thoughts on Ja’Marr and Kyle!! I’m so interested in their dynamic if that makes sense 😅

lmao anon i love you thank you because i was literally just typing a post up by itself. but now i get the benefit of looking like i'm not the ONLY person to care about this. (there's at least two of us!!)

ok so! too much rambling about things that i could no way actually know anything about irl BUT 

kyle and ja’marr being together in paris is VERY interesting to me. their whole relationship is really because like. okay. i have joked that kyle and ja’marr are there to pick out joe’s wardrobe for next year together lmao but like!!! the clothes saga is SUCH a thing with ja’marr. the man has a Complex about joe and fashion and his part in it. we know this. i hardly need to go over the clothes saga with y’all again. but i will because it’s fun for me. ja’marr claims in GQ that he buys clothes for joe all the time and drops them off at 'the house’ for him. which is insane enough if that’s true. then a few days after that article drops (and also joe’s appendix explodes) he says nah never mind i was lying! (“kinda”). and that’s insane too. but whatever, we let it go, there’s football to play. then that offseason tee decides to cause some chaos i guess and confirms that actually ja’marr HAS bought joe clothes ‘multiple times’ so that’s. something!!! (along with TB in that one pivot podcast with all three of them teasing ja’marr about it!!) and then SOMEHOW none of this gets brought up again until a few months ago when ja’marr is just like “yeah actually i’ve been buying him clothes since last year” which is still a year later than he first said he bought him clothes 🤔

ALL OF WHICH TO SAY that ja’marr is fucking weird about this. he may or may not buy joe clothes (i’m still leaning yes on this), and he may or may not want people to know about it. i think he realizes just how intimate of a thing that is, to repeatedly buy someone you care about clothes that you think he would like, that you’d like to see him in. and i think if we go back to my Vision of insecure at times ja’marr, it’s one way to explain his back and forth on this.

but then!! insert kyle, who i believe only became joe’s stylist within the last year. before that i don’t think joe ever really had anyone Official to help him out with specific outfits/styles/branding etc (i’m sure the joe girlies will correct me if i'm wrong on this). and now i can only imagine that ja’marr might be feeling a little…possessive of joe here (what else is new lol ‘that’s my qb not their qb’ type shit). like if we believe he’s been buying him clothes since at least 2021, that’s like…that’s ja’marr’s Thing at this point?? even if it only started happening in 2023, that’s still a long time of "oh hey i saw this and thought of you and will you wear it and when you wear it will i feel a little thrill knowing that you took my advice knowing that you value my opinion knowing that the clothes touching your skin are only doing so because i bought them for you in the first place etc etc." and now here’s joe paying someone else to do it?? and who the fuck is kyle why him why does HE get to do it he didn’t even win a national championship with him in college???? (ja’marr obviously would be more rational than that. of course joe should pay someone to help him out with style as he does events and builds his brand more. but as a fellow Emotional Person myself, the rational response is never the first or strongest one.) 

so like! there’s that. that alone could make ja’marr not inclined to LOVE Kyle, ya know? and then if we want to get really Deep and dive into internalized homophobia of Male Athlete Culture. of my version (MY VERSION JUST MY VERSION THIS IS NOT ME SAYING ANYTHING IRL ABOUT HIM) of ja’marr and how he might cope with feelings and attractions that do not neatly fall in line with what is Expected of him and Has Been Expected of him since he was a kid. like fuck. do we remember how his dad said ja’marr used to like to read with his cousins (who were girls) but then his male friends came around and made fun of him for it, so he stopped reading altogether as a child?? thinking about that still makes my heart hurt! aughhh Gender!! and then even a few weeks ago on stream when ja’marr accidentally said that kyrie was sexy and IMMEDIATELY the chat and his friends jumped on him for it!! like yeah it was all lighthearted and all that but he got all embarrassed and even fucking apologized??? just the immediate policing of language/behavior followed by the immediate apology and moving on to no longer watching kyrie clips lol. crazy!!! Male Athlete Culture is SUCH a trip!! 

and kyle is gay! very much out and proud and not hiding or ashamed of any of it (fucking good for him tbh. i know he’s not Loved in this fandom but like that does genuinely take guts to be yourself like that in a culture like this. and make a career out of it! and he seems to be thriving!) and i just have to wonder like, how many queer people ja’marr really knows well?? the nfl has their corporate pride month bullshit where they celebrate the like 1 out gay assisant coach? 1 out gay FORMER player? if there are more queer people in the nfl, they are not very public about it. so again, how much daily interaction does a typical football player like ja’marr get with queer people?? i do imagine all the connections that are growing with the fashion world help of course! like kyle! who it’s clear he’s at least friendly with, if not the best of friends. and so like, i wonder about how that could stir complicated emotions in ja’marr if we go with my (AGAIN JUST MINE I’M NOT ACTUALLY SAYING ANYTHING IRL) version of him as a guy who has Feelings about male teammates sometimes and struggles with Dealing With That. 

and throw in the fact that ja’marr primarily knows him as this guy who’s always hanging around joe lol. taking over his role as joe’s personal stylist?? being free and open and ALLOWED to be attracted to all these guys, to joe himself!! (and if he thinks too hard about that he REALLY gets in his feelings). and it’s not jealousy really because he knows how important he himself is in joe’s life. kyle’s not replacing their history, he’s certainly not replacing his value to joe on the field, their close friendship, etc. but! he occupies a space in joe’s life that ja’marr can’t touch. he can publicly and proudly buy joe clothes. something that ja’marr WANTS but keeps shying away from. he can feel any feelings and any attraction he happens to have, he’s not hiding any part of who he is. if he thinks joe’s hot, if he thinks joe looks particularly attractive in an outfit he chose for him, he can! he will! he does! and i think that that just HAS to drive ja’marr a little fucking crazy.

so yeah. he likes the guy. they’re friendly. he’ll do a goofy lil dance when prompted by him for social media. but it’s Complicated. it’s Very Complicated. (to me.) 

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

how do you hold them both? all powerful and all loving? i grew up in the church but have never truly found faith. i want it desperately but it feels wrong to pretend.

Hey, beloved. I wish I knew the answer to how God could be all powerful and all loving, that I could give you the secret to holding them both. But the truth is I myself don’t hold them both. At least, not firmly. 

And, Anonie, that’s okay. There are some who will say that if we don’t all believe the exact same things about who the Beautiful Mind is then we worship different gods. But that’s not true. I believe that religious Jews, Muslims, and Christians all worship the same deity but simply have different conceptions of who and what that deity is. And that is fine. That doesn’t mean everyone is right, but it’s possible to have different conceptions of the same person and still be talking about the same person. The point is: I do not think rejecting the omnipotence of God makes you a heretic (not that God would love you any less). I mean first of all, what omnipotence even means is up for debate! 

Here’s the rundown of my thoughts on omnipotence. 

Number 1. God willingly limits himself. For God to enter into relationship with human beings and rule the world thru them (that’s part of what image of God means) than he has to willingly put limits on himself in order to respect the dignity of the well meaning but foolish dirt creatures he created. This is a view held by both Conservative and Reform Jews and also by open theist Protestant Christians. This is a position known as open theism (which started as a movement dedicated to the rejection of Greek philosophical influence on Christianity, which as a goal I can get behind). 

A metaphor my favorite bible scholar uses is that of a ship: human history is a ship headed from one port (good creation) to another port (the full union of heaven and earth). That WILL happen. The boat will not sink or get lost or etc. the boat will get from port A to port B. But, what happens on the boat (and who’s still alive vs who dies) before we get there… that’s up for grabs. I refer to this as “ordained” vs “unordained” futures. The Incarnation of the Wisdom/Word? Ordained. The Transgression of Adam and Eve? Not ordained. 

Number 2. I had to just be honest with myself and with God about my reaction. I had to sit down down and seriously think about it: what would I prefer? A god who is all powerful, or a god who is all loving? When I look at the person of Jesus of Nazareth, what do I see more? For me the answer is obvious. “God is Love.” Not all loving; God is an eternal community of other-centered, life-giving, intimate love. That is what it means to believe in the Holy Trinity. And honestly I’m not torn up about it. I still believe that God is “Beyond Being” and “The Ground for whom there is no ground.” I still believe that God is THE MOST powerful. But if it comes between all powerful and all loving; Jesus taught me to define power AS love. “Power” to the Christian properly cognizant of the totality of scripture is “to empty one’s self in the name of Love and to choose Life and Forgiveness over Death.” 

This is not an orthodox Christian answer, but we can’t expect to have everything figure out. At least, not this side of the resurrection. Unlike the medieval scholastics, I can handle some mystery in my life. I think this would do you well.

Also one last thing: God doesn’t want your pretense or pretending. God wants your rawness. Read Job; there is nothing soft about it and he does not bother with pretending. He named it how he sees it (that God Almighty is a moral monster who fucks with the lives of humans when he isn’t just ignoring them entirely). And God (after telling him to chill out because. Presumptuous much), says that Job has right relationships with him.

May the God of loyal love, Mother of the exiles and Restorer of the refugees, look upon you with favor and give you wholeness. Amen. 

[lassie-loo]

AITA for “pissing off” my co-worker?

I'm new to reddit so apologies for any mistakes and formatting errors, I'm on mobile. Anyways my (M) company decided to transfer me to a project which I cannot get into for legal purposes with a co-worker of mine (M50). Long story short we got off on a rough start but up until recently we've been getting along great at least that's the impression I get from our interactions. Though I have said a few things to seem to have put him on edge or make him ansty. To put it bluntly he has some issues regarding his past and I don't blame him for that. His son (6) had passed away a few years ago. This had led to him developing a drinking addiction which oftentimes interferes with his work though he doesn't know that I know.

A few instances he had gotten mad at me or annoyed when I'd “blabber” [his words not mine] on and ask him personal questions though he seems to be coming around to the latter. Anyways onto the issue.

He stopped at a park after we were done with work late at night, he has a strong tolerance for alcohol but even I had started getting worried so I tried speaking to him especially with the fact he will be driving when he was done. What he told me about his suicidal tendencies which I had already known. We were having a casual discussion about our project but next thing you know he had pulled a gun on me. I tried rationalizing with him and thankfully it worked. I wouldn't say I was ‘scared’ but I was definitely concerned. He expressed a bitter hatred for me and my background and I believe that could be a part of the reason he pointed the gun at me. He often told me what I do pisses him off and I get that I can be a bit talkative but come on. A gun?

Anyways, after a recent scandal in our work we went to the scene to investigate, we were in the elevator on our way to the top floor of the building and since I like letting my mind wander I play with a coin I often use when alone. He grabbed the coin from me and told me I was pissing him off. I wanted to apologize but next thing you know were on the scene. Basically a few of the people we were suppose to interview jumped off the building with parachutes and left one of their buddies behind whom of which I had found hiding away. We got into a bit of a brawl and he sort of shot himself in the head when I was connected to him and to say I was traumatized would be an understatement. My co-worker was still mad but not at me and only on the fact I had not “listened” to him like I usually do. I can tell he had already forgot about his words in the elevator but after todays recent events I can't help but feel bad for making him mad. So AITA for “pissing off” my co-worker?

I'm an android sent by Cyberlife if that makes a difference.

[moeitsu]

for the ask game :)

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon. But could you give us more on your chubby Arthur HC? I need more of that! Like right now! (But no rush, I just love big boy Arthur as much as you do)  🙏❣️

Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh I would absolutely love to dive into more chubby!Arthur HC's. He is so dear to me.

I got carried away with this, and sorta poured my heart into it. It’s basically just a love letter to my favorite husky cowboy <3

WC: ~3k

TW: self-esteem issues, body dysmorphia, ED, alcoholism, some NSFW at the end so minors beware.

I also want to add, these are all just personal self-indulgent headcanons. So some might seem ooc. Take it up with the council if that bothers you :)

When I say chubby/fat Arthur I mean that with my full chest. I'm talking a big boy— a soft curved belly, thighs as big as tree trunks, and a smooth jawline.

I want to point out, muscle and fat are not mutually exclusive. He can be fat and incredibly strong.

Standing at 6'0", Arthur is already an imposing figure. His healthy weight in the game is around 210-220 lbs, but let’s add 30 more—making him a solid 250 lbs (give or take).

Even in the game, his healthy weight would still be considered a giant of a man for that time period. So keep that in mind.

Most of that weight? Pure muscle. Beneath his soft exterior are abs of steel, and those biceps could crush skulls and give the best hugs.

He is simply just a very husky man.

Deeply, deeply insecure as all hell about his weight though. Especially with you.

Especially in the bedroom.

Arthur knows he is strong and muscular, but he fixates on the “softness” of his body. Believing it makes him less capable and less desirable.

But more personally, it serves as a constant reminder of his failures and guilt.

The gang’s comments about his appetite and size don’t help. He pretends not to care, but every jab chips away at his confidence.

He’s often seen as the "muscle," a human shield, or an intimidating force, hearing terms like “big oaf” and “dumb brute” far too often.

Absolutely hates the way his presence fills a small room.

These insecurities run so deep that Arthur refuses to take his shirt off in front of others. Always making excuses to keep it on.

His body is marked by lots of stretch marks. They trace around his sides, under his belly, thighs and shoulders. He’s grateful that his body hair covers most of them.

Some are so deep they’ve become scars.

Hyper aware and very self-conscious of them. He thinks they’re a sign of weakness and being too “soft”.

Always avoids looking at himself in the mirror. He struggles with feeling undesirable as it is, and his body only adds to that torment.

Arthur has an unhealthy relationship with food and struggles with control. His eating habits are tied closely to his emotions.

He tends to overeat to cope with intense stress, loneliness and guilt. Food is used as a comfort in these moments—but he doesn’t enjoy it.

Trying to fill an emotional void rather than physical hunger.

At other times, food feels like a reminder of his lack of control. And he deprives himself of a meal or two. Using hunger as a punishment.

Alcohol has played a part in his weight too.

Often seeking its numbness to drown out the hunger and the noise of his own thoughts.

The heavy drinking dulls his appetite and gives him an excuse to skip meals.

Though he’s known to engage in binge cycles when things start to get really bad. Overindulging in both food and alcohol to the point where he’s physically sick and emotionally raw.

Moments like this tend to isolate him from the gang. He’s unwilling to face questions and judgement so he withdraws and wanders off.

Sometimes he feels more confident after having a drink or two, the alcohol dulling his self consciousness. He hates himself for needing it, and when the false confidence fades he feels exposed.

Okay goddamn those were really sad, moving on now!

Arthur worries that his size intimidates women. Some admire his strength, while others hurl insults, leaving him to quietly fear his body might never be truly loved.

He’s too big, too rough, too much.

Sweats a lot too, he can’t help it. He’s hyper aware of his odor when he hasn’t had the time for a proper wash. And feels immensely embarrassed when other people comment on it or make a face.

Spends a lot of time comparing himself to other men. Especially ones more “acceptable” in the eyes of a woman.

Because of his size and his looks he goes out of his way to be gentle and soft-spoken around women.

(^^^this especially is so so so canon to me. He is ALWAYS respectful and gentle with women)

Constantly aware of his own strength, and oftentimes has to reel himself in so he doesn’t unintentionally hurt somebody.

Arthur is

without a doubt

the sweetest gentle giant when you get to know him.

It will take time, but when he finds a woman who accepts his body, he can be a very loving partner.

He sees you as something he can protect and comfort and care for. Someone who needs him not for his size, but for his heart.

Feeling comfortable in his own skin around you is one of the greatest things you could ever give him.

Very touch starved (ill talk more on that later) and loves to give you the softest warmest hugs.

Regardless of his reputation, he has very tender hands. Whether he’s sketching you in delicate strokes, petting his horse’s neck, tracing his thumb over your cheek, or holding your baby.

The same hands that safely cradle you every night.

Despite his relationship with food, cooking and eating are still things he genuinely enjoys.

Love to hunt and cook over an open flame. Nothing better than the taste of woodsmoke in fresh meat.

He also loves to share his food. He will always make sure you have enough to eat, and even offer his own plate if you are still hungry.

It brings him great joy to be able to provide for you.

Let’s move on to some silly sweet and smutty ones shall we? ;)

The fastest way to this man’s heart is when you cook for him.

Especially baked goods. Bake him a sweet homemade apple-pie with a thick vanilla cream on top and he's getting you pregnant. going to marry you.

You could literally be an idiot sandwhich in the kitchen and he would still praise your cooking through the roof.

Why? Because he’s already head over heels in love with you for making the effort.

He also has a huge sweet tooth. Peppermint candies are his kryptonite.

Arthur’s laughter is a full-body experience. His chest trembles, his belly shakes, his voice booms. It’s impossible not to smile and laugh along with him. His eyes crinkle in the brightest way, making his joy contagious.

His real smile is rare, but when it comes it makes your heart flutter because he is so unguarded and in the moment you can glimpse the man beneath the hardened outlaw.

Man is the ultimate heater!!!

He makes the best personal blanket. His body runs hot, and he’s the fastest way to warm your freezing hands—though he might grumble when you tuck them under his shirt, directly onto his soft chest.

Your fingers feel like damn icicles. But he just adores the way you melt into him.

Loves when you ask him to warm you up. Like yes please, let this man just hold you in a big hug and rub your arms, your legs, your back. Everywhere.

Until there isn’t a trace of your body left that hasn’t felt his loving touch.

On this topic ^

Arthur loves physical affection with you. He is so so touch starved, and he craves it more than he'll ever admit.

With others he tends to flinch away or shrug off their touch. It’s not necessarily a distrust, but more of a defense.

Freezes up the first few times you do touch him. Always afraid of ruining the moment.

You have to be patient with Arthur, touch means trust. And physical affection becomes a deeply emotional act for him—things he rarely felt in his life.

Every hug, kiss, touch (and sex) is very sacred to him.

Smell gestures mean everything to him, especially in the camp. He is not a big fan of PDA, mostly due to his own insecurities. But he is not afraid to hold your hand, kiss your temple, or playfully flick your hat.

Protective gestures when you’re out in public.

Such as resting his large hand on your back as you walk. Positioning himself so he’s always close to you. Moving you behind him when strangers approach. Holding you tightly at night.

Completely melts under your touch.

Loves when you play with his hair, kiss his forehead, run your fingers through his beard, and oh god please please touch his belly.

Tracing slow circles on his chest and down the soft curve is a surefire way to get this man on!top!of!you!

The first time your fingertips trail down his stomach he’s caught off guard by how sensitive it feels. He might be soft, but your touch sets his skin on fire.

Something about it makes him nervous yet excited. The way your hands glide over him with such care and adoration makes his doubts disappear.

For the first time, Arthur feels comfortable being shirtless. It takes him awhile to work up the courage, your words and reassurance helps enormously.

But ultimately he just craves the feeling of your hands on his bare body.

It feel like a sanctuary.

Where a woman praises a man.

Because she loved him something holy.

He loves to be skin to skin. Didn’t realize how much he needed it until you offered it to him. He finds himself seeking it out whenever he can.

Adores the feeling of your bare chest against his. The way your nipples peak and harden when they brush over his chest hairs.

Your warm breath against his neck puts him at ease and helps him relax.

SMUTTT!!!

This man is easily aroused.

He’s often overwhelmed with desire, feeling like a lovesick teenager. (He just wants to be loved so goddamn bad)

Whether it’s watching the curve of your ass as you bend over, eyes lingering on your lips while you talk, or catching the scent of your hair as you lean in to kiss him, Arthur is hopelessly smitten.

There’s really nothing you can do that won’t stir this man's cock.

Just watching you ride a horse makes the blood flow.

Arthur is nervous and very insecure about his size when it comes to sex. It would take awhile for him to work up to it. But these doubts can be kissed away with gentle patience and praise.

Personally, I think the ‘first time’ with you would be very hard for him. He is not a sex god (yet) and he’s a nervous wreck when it comes to being intimate.

I wouldn’t blame him if struggled with losing an erection when his doubts and insecurities became too loud. He would be so embarrassed and apologize a million times.

If he’s had any alcohol it only makes things worse.

Compliment him, tell him how much you love his body. How his arms make you feel safe, how his chest feels like home against your cheek.

Remind him that you accept and love every inch of him.

He loves to be praised. Arthur needs to be praised. It is his weakness and it makes him feel cherished and confident.

The love language he wants to receive is words of affirmation 1000000%

But don’t let him fool you, for as much as he loves it he will always out praise you. In the bedroom, in the kitchen, on a job. It never ends. That deep soft spoken timbre of his voice never fails to make your knees weak.

This boy is putty in your hands. Mold him into whatever you need him to be, as long as he’s yours.

When he feels your lips trace down his chest and stomach he is gone. He is completely owned by you.

His breath quickens. Cock twitching helplessly, thick and dripping with arousal. Just aching to be inside.

Once Arthur gets you below him it’s suffocating in the best possible way. Your body is completely consumed by him, like nothing exists beyond the two of you.

It's like he’s trapped you in his world and every mewl, moan and whimper you make below him is for his ears alone. When he groans into your neck you feel it in your soul.

You thought he was a big man?

Wait till he’s rubbing his cock along your folds and prodding your entrance. Wait till he’s breathing sharply through his teeth as he pushes the thick swollen head inside. Letting out a long, low groan as he carves out a space for himself within your body.

It burns white hot as he pushes in. The pain mingling with a pleasure that was born from an aching need for connection and trust.

A kind of fullness that just feels so right.

Oh but he’s kissing you and praising you and stopping to make sure you’re okay. Arthur studies your face, for any sign of discomfort. But when you give him the ‘ok’, he loses himself in your embrace.

Eager to show you the same love and devotion you’ve so freely given him. Sex is divine. It’s a moment of surrender. He lets go and he lets himself just be.

He’s not an outlaw, a gunman, a survivor—he’s just a man. Deeply in love with a woman.

Arthur spent his whole life putting up walls to protect himself. Being intimate with you means tearing them down, letting his darkest parts be seen. Scars and all.

Sex with a big man can also be awkward if you let it. Arthur is large, he takes up a lot of space. Certain positions can be hard. And softer body parts tend to move more during the act.

And that’s okay! Because you love every moment of it.

Every time you moan, kiss his neck, tug on his hair, rake your nails down his back, tighten your walls, cry out his name—he’s reminded that he is worthy of love.

Arthur never rushes through sex (unless absolutely necessary) It’s a time for him to show his adoration, to dote on you. To bring you to the edge of euphoria again and again until nothing else matters.

Those ocean blue eyes will tell you everything. His love, his fear, his gratitude. Holding his gaze is not only a huge turn on but very emotional.

You can feel the way his cock twitches inside you, and simultaneously his lip curls. Learn to read his face and you’ll know exactly when he’s about to come.

Not only will you feel it, you’ll see it in the way he loses control.

His cock hangs heavy between his legs, and his length has a lot to show for it. Arthur knows this, and he’ll spend his time getting you ready for him with his tongue and fingers.

Let the man eat you out as!much!as!he!wants!

There is no such thing as taking turns. Sit on his face, ride his goddamn nose. Squeeze his head with those beautiful thighs. Let him get drunk off that pretty pussy. The man fucking needs it.

Arthur is also a natural giver, but we all know that.

Big fan of slow, rough sex. Watching his cock slide out of your tight pussy, leaving just the tip before snapping his hips back into you.

Intoxication with how it steals your breath away with each thrust. The creamy sounds of your arousal mingled with your shaky moans make him go absolutely feral.

He has to grip the head board just to keep himself from breaking your spine with his strength.

Favorite positions are the ones where he can watch your face contort with pleasure. Often missionary or cowgirl. Sometimes doggy if he can put you in front of a mirror and make you watch.

Arthur’s vocal in bed, but only when there is little chance of being heard. He’ll sing for you when you’re alone in the wild, or cozied up in a hotel, he throws caution to the wind when you finally have your own home.

He whimpers too, and he stopped fighting them once he realized how much your cunt tightened around his cock in response.

Hear me out, after things are established between you and you’re both comfortable in bed. Sex becomes a very fun activity as much as it is a vulnerable one.

I’m not saying y’all would tell jokes in the middle (I think Arthur would be very serious) but the act itself is just fun.

Arthur’s watching your face twist in pleasure as you ride him. Sapphire blue eyes gleaming in the firelight, full of lust and hunger and something more playful. He’s gripping your bottom, initially helping your pace but now you’ve taken complete control. Using his body for your own pleasure, setting your own rhythm. Getting off on his cock.

“Yeah, you like that, huh sweet girl?” He coo’s, smacking a hand against your ass and gripping the flesh as it pillows beneath his fingers. “Like ridin’ my cock huh?”

You can only nod, and whimper out a broken “y—yes” mind too focused on not losing that pressure that’s steadily building in your belly. Rising with every bounce of your hips. Threatening to spill over at any moment.

“Yeah?” He repeats. A wicked chuckle escapes his lips. His large hands run down your chest and over your thighs, before crossing an arm behind his head. One hand still kneading the soft flesh of your waist. A smug grin tugging at his lips as he watches his cock disappear inside you. “Well go on darlin’, have your fun with me.”

Every deep groan rumbles freely from his chest as he watches you panting above him. Eyes full of love and adoration, he can feel you getting close. Gripping him so deliciously. “Fuck—Keep going baby. Keep fucking my cock with that tight pussy. You gonna come for me?”

Those words open the floodgates, your vision going blank as pleasure and stars exploded behind your eyes. Crying out his name. You hear Arthur’s stained voice as he finishes in you with a needy groan. “Th-that’s it. That’s m-my good girl.”

Aftercare king!

Arthur will wait for your breathing to slow before disturbing the peace. Letting you rest your head on his chest as he strokes your hair. He can feel your heartbeat in his belly and the feeling grounds him more than anything.

Will get you food, water, wet cloth, whatever you need. He knows you’ll be sore and exhausted the next day. It’s also his way of saying thank you for trusting him with your body.

Sex with Arthur comes with a great deal of emotion and trust. It’s one of the only moments he truly lets his guard down and lets the vulnerability’s surface.

It’s deeply personal, and he craves that connection more than anything. It’s his sacred right, his holy devotion.

Arthur loves being close with you, and he just loves you.

Over time he begins to see himself differently. He’ll never seem himself through your eyes. But instead of looking in the mirror and seeing a large, ugly, and broken man. He’ll see one worthy of love.

Instead of looking at his body and feeling shame, he’ll look at his belly and remember the tingling feeling of your lips. The soft pads of your fingers as you traced his sides, sending shivers that reached the base of his spine.

When he sees those stretch marks he’ll be reminded of how easily he can carry you. How he can provide food and shelter for you. How you’ll never have to worry because he will always shield you from the storm.

With time, he begins to take care of himself more. Drinking less, eating more regularly, and finding solace in his lover when he feels like he is slipping again. Trusting her to let him be broken and held.

Falling in love with you teaches him that healing isn’t a linear path. But your loyalty, love and kindness guide him far better than when he had been on his own.

Arthur’s finally found a place where he belongs.

And it’s with you.

That’s it folks, as you can see I’m very passionate about this subject. Ahem, if anyone would like a part 2 I would be much obliged :)

I touched on some of these HC’s in my Arthur x oc fic, if anyone is interested. I didn’t have time to dedicate the entire work to his body and self esteem issues. So this was very enjoyable for me!

[azaharinflames]

Curently 911 is filming episode 11 & 12, and Lou is working on another project. There's no way he's working on 9-1-1 at the same time. LA traffic alone wouldn't allow it.

I thought I have prepared my heart for the possibility of Bucktommy not going back together again. But a new affirmative sign like this still hurts me a little 😔.

Hi, Nonnie!

Listen, I get it. But in my honest opinion? Lou was never gonna come back in the first eps of 8b. We know 9&10 are mostly going to deal with Maddie’s kidnapping and Tim has teased the end of ep 10 changes everyone’s life. Now, you can choose to be a bit skeptical about that part. I know I am.

Either way, we know post ep 10 there is a time jump. My personal theory is that it won’t be a super big one, rather it will be a natural time jump (to make it so what happens in the series happens at the same time as we watch it), and the first couple eps will be to establish some SLs.

Personal theory? We will see the rebound for Buck that Tim teased. I do believe it won’t last more than a couple eps. And then we’ll probably have Buck exploring or trying to get to know himself better. Boring and overused, but if they go in any other direction I will be genuinely surprised.

If/when Tommy comes back… honestly I don’t think it’ll be any earlier than at least midway through 8b, if not in the last couple of eps or even in the last one. Mostly so the audience is hooked for the next season but also because it wouldn’t make sense to make the audience go through the bs of 806-808 if things were going to be fine a few eps later.

We have to remember Tommy is not a main. Most likely, if Buck and he manage to find each other again, it will be something to mostly happen off-season, imo. As in, we will have a cute reunion on screen, then the season will end, then (perhaps based on the reaction idk) we’ll start the next season (if we get one) already with them having worked through their issues.

I know the idea of it sucks a bit but hey. They had Tarlos say their ILYs off-season. So. I wouldn’t be too surprised lmao.

(Also if he does not come back for this season, I honestly think he will only come back if they need a HEA for Buck once the series ends and Lou is available for that. Because imho they are not finding a LI that works better than him any time soon)

As for Lou’s filming schedule, I wouldn’t put too much weight on it. Mostly because we don’t know it. We don’t know if he’s mostly done with the sketch show, or if he only has to shoot 3 days a week, or what. Nothing tells us shooting that and shooting 911 is something impossible to combine.

And I don’t want to pretend I know something will happen, or give anyone false hope. I’m the first person who truly expects nothing from this show anymore and who knows chances are we will be disappointed, because the show has shown us we can’t trust it. Just wanted to point out some things ;)

Anyway, my inbox is open for venting, ranting, and giving your opinions! Physical therapy has been kicking my ass this week but I’ll try to be more present (don’t tear your meniscus, babes. I highly do not recommend)

Take care <3

[halfbaked00q]

thinking about, like... the exploration of James Bond × the tangled messy web of complications he'd pick up around sex given like past relationships and also the inherently fucky sexual politics of honeypot missions and etc.

it's like. when your body is as much a tool in your aresenal as any of your skills so you're able to handle/tolerate/work through levels of what, in another context, may be considered personal violations, that would be overwhelming to untrained civvies-- but at the same time that very training that gives you some level of divide/partition/insulation from said trespasses on your person, also rather inherently creates bifurcations in your autonomy which then conversely and maybe ironically, still unavoidably act as violations against your personhood

the interesting added layer to that is to go deeper into exploring how honeypotting is/can be inherently traumatic not just to the victim but also the perpetrator, and the resulting psychological effects on the honeypotting agent

anyway here are some fics that I either reread recently, or I remember noting about, that go into these topics

-----------

Further Reading / Web-Weaving / "You May Also Like":

This fic imo does a great job of exploring/interweaving PTSD through the narration in an organic-feeling, believable, and very visceral way. Towards the end-ish of the currently available chaps there's a section where Bond is thinking about sex and like doomspiraling cuz he's assuming what Q would want and having a crisis about it because he's like, I can't provide that without panicking or dissociating - which I find suuuuuper interesting and complex, and it's especially interesting to have this level of exploration on the subject from Bond's POV.

the specific aspect I find really interesting about this is the way I can see this Bond as becoming, like.... desensitized? in a sense, to sex, on a more emotional level, but also how it becomes even in general sort of a trauma in itself, with his concerns about either reacting violently to a trigger, or dissociating during the act and how he worries if that happens that Q will find it hollow and falling short.

the dissociating bit really sticks out to me because it reminds me of an anecdote my high school psych teacher told about a friend of hers who through therapy realized that she was dissociating during sex with her husband and like mentally taking a walk down.. some sidewalk or other, but basically I can't remember if any other fic had this like, aspect of explicitly mentioning dissociating (others do talk about like him going a bit dead-eyed when putting on his TM Seduction act which is like adjacent to this, but not like specifically from inside Bond's head reflecting on this specific type of trauma response)

---

Has this banger section that, like, puts the *points above* into words from a third party's POV:

“Part of what makes it work -- with Scar and me -- is that I have no expectations on that front, so she doesn’t have to... perform. It’s second nature to them, to figure out what you want and give it to you…” The pause was horrible, and her expression deeply sad. “Whether it’s what they want or not.” Q felt a little sick. People sometimes joked about the honeypot missions, calling them ‘plush’ or talking as though they were somehow easier. Q had never really thought about it, except to think that it wouldn’t be easy for him. But now…

---

the warmth of your doorways:

has whole sections of James reflecting introspectively on honeypot missions. also has the added spicy layer of James being tapped to train/guide the guy who is meant to replace him for honeypot missions, and the added turbulance of all that (this fic also has a lot going for it on other levels that I enjoy a lot- this post us just specifically about JB × his fucked up sex politics stuff)

---

Bond and Q talk about sex stuff and Q is horrified to realize how bad Bond's training for honeypotting male targets was, which eventually leads to them talking about sexualuties, which leads to Q introducing Bond to the Kinsey scale lmao, and etc. also this banger from the author in the comments:

Craig has this one facial expression that makes me think, as Q put it in my fic, like Bond's soul has wandered off and left him behind. We see it occasionally when he's laying in wait to kill but most commonly when he's seducing a female mark. The best example of the face I mean is when he's seducing the widow in Spectre. It's a little dispassionate, a lot distant and it really makes me think very hard about what that means. To me, that facial expression makes me think perhaps Bond has a certain distance from his own actions. His body belongs to England, he is Her weapon and he will do as She needs.

[cwritesforfun]

Emperor Geta x Fem!Reader: Escape part three

Part One Link <~ read first Part Two Link <~ read this too

Y/N = Your First Name & L/N = Your Last Name

They will not follow the Roman style of speech - it will be written in modern language.

*I do not own the Gladiator 2 characters or plot* I do change some of the plot!!!

Masterlist

Y/N's POV

Geta rested for a while, and eventually, you realized he was here to stay. He had told you countless times that he wanted to stay, but it hit you that he really did want to.

You thought that him staying would be easy, but why should it be?

Geta disagreed with your leadership style to the point where he kept arguing with you in and out of court. You finally had it with his constant disapproval, and you made your guards escort him out of the room. The rest of the day at court was tense for you. Everyone seemed to be walking on ice around you.

You meet Geta in one of the sitting rooms in the palace and have tea delivered. You take a cautious sip and ask, "So, Geta, would you like to tell me about what was wrong today in court?" Geta glances at you and answers, "I just don't like the way you let everyone have a say in court proceedings. I also didn't believe some of those crimes should have been pardoned. They deserved to be executed." Your eyes widen, and you reply, "I see. Geta, I let everyone have a say in what happens at court because that is what happens in this country. I let everyone preach their case and why they think I should listen to them. It keeps people happy to know that their views have been heard. It also ensures that I know the full story going into the proceedings. I know Rome was different, but you are not in Rome now." He looks distraught, and you continue, "And as for the crimes being pardoned, I think you would benefit learning from my advisors about the rulings in my country. I'll talk to them tonight, and you can attend lessons during the next couple of weeks so you can better understand my decisions. I don't like how you reacted in court and think you can also learn how to better express your disagreements. I'll make sure that is included in your lessons." He asks, "Anything else?" You answer, "I think it might be best if you sleep in another room while you attend the lessons so you can try to remain unbiased. Knowing how I would think may influence your lessons.” He reaches out for my hand and replies, "I thought we weren't going to be parting ways again." You reply, "We're not exactly parting ways. I'll still be at the palace and join you for dinner. Besides, I believe some time apart will benefit us. We began this relationship quickly and with an intensity that no others can grasp." He nods and replies, "Fine, as you wish, your majesty."

Geta's POV

How can one sit through boring lessons all day and not be annoyed?

I keep telling myself that I'm doing this for Y/N, but really, her choices of people to lead my lessons are a drag. For the first week of my lessons, I sat in lessons with her old governess from when she was a child. This lady was cold and stubborn. She kept snapping at me, and she treated me like a child. The second week, I was with her foreign advisor, who was a persnickety old man who kept quizzing me on viewpoints of this country. I kept thinking of how I would react as Emperor of Rome, which was the wrong thing to do. Speaking of Rome, apparently, it thrives under Lucius' reign. Both of these lessons required extra reading too. They had Y/N's notes inside and she often included little jokes that made me smile. I love her. However, the third week of lessons was my favorite. I learned from her military advisor who was both kind and fierce. His team respected him and followed him. He was kind to me and it seemed he actually liked me.

If I thought that was bad, well, I have been attending lessons early in the morning until dinnertime, where I must sit with Y/N and other members of her court as they all chat about their lives. I don't always get to sit next to Y/N, and she rarely acknowledges me. I just want to hold her and kiss her, but her guards keep strict protection around her. Almost no one can even talk to her. Am I a threat? Why is she ignoring me? I need to talk to her. Does she love me?

I'm sitting in my room with a book after my last lesson when a guard informs me that Y/N wishes to speak to me before dinner. Finally.

I get dressed and follow the guard to the sitting room nearest the dining hall. I enter with a smile on my face and see my lovely Y/N sitting at the desk. She stands, walks toward me, and guides me to the couches. I notice her pour two glasses of alcohol from the bottle on the nearby table and I ask, "Love, what is wrong?" She hands me a glass and answers, "I pushed you away wrongly. There was a threat to my life, and I wanted to protect you. So I sent you away. I do believe those lessons were something that you should have done, but I shouldn't have ignored your presence the rest of the time. I'm sorry." I quickly grab her open hand and ask, "What about this threat? Is it neutralized?" She nods and answers, "We apprehended the team this morning after my tea was poisoned. They were trying to harm me because they heard I sheltered you here. They escaped Rome to live here, away from you and Calla's rule. They are being held in prison for the attempted assassination. And as for the tea, well, I noticed it looked weird and I had my doctor test it for anything out of the ordinary. They used a generic poison and we found it quickly." I reply, "Don't send me away again. I'm here for you, no matter what. I love you, my Y/N... does the threat because of me scare you? Will you send me away?" She shakes her head and answers, "No, love. I'm not sending you away. I tightened security, and we'll make sure my people know you are no longer a threat to their lives. This is not Rome, and I would not stand for mistreatment of my people." I ask, "How will you tell them this?" She answers, "It's an idea that I wanted to run past you. I think an engagement is in order." I jokingly answer, "I would like to be engaged to the governess." She tilts her head and asks, "What?" I answer, "I was kidding. I was trying to make you jealous." She replies, "Oh, I'm not threatened by her." I bite my lip, smirk, and reply, "Non-jealousy looks hot on you." She laughs and says, "I meant for us to be engaged, silly." My eyes widen and I say, "I accept your proposal, Queen. I would love to be your husband." She smiles and says, "I am happy to be your wife soon, too... We'll draft a speech for us to give to my people, so they may know the Geta that I love." . . . Taglist: @doodle-with-rhy @ziggeddie

[katerinaaqu]

Hello! Been a frequenter on your page and I am I’m love with your work. I have a few questions, and I’m hoping you can re-wire the truth of Greek Mythology for me. (Cause some people…..you know) 1. Have Diomedes and Odysseus met before the Trojan War? If they didn’t, did they have general knowledge of the other at least? 2. I’ve heard that Odysseus wasn’t as physically intimidating as the others, (Agamemnon, Diomedes, etc) Is that true? Because sites and docs make Odysseus seem like he is a tiny, little man who likes to ONLY think in his tent and has everyone else do his heavylifting. Does he at least have some military experience? If you had to assign a body type for him, what actor, influencer, or singer would you say, “yeah that’s him.” 3. I know that Odysseus is, at least, in the morally gray side of the universe. Does he have his moments of “honor”, or certain people’s versions of “morally correct?” Does he have moments of selflessness, bravery, or integrity?

And some silly little questions. Since Odysseus is your favorite character, If he walked into a therapists office/physical examination/got analyzed by a classification system, when he walked out, what mental evaluation would have been made. Ex. PTSD, BPD, etc. (I searched on doctor google, and they said maybe he would be on the spectrum of ASPD.) If Odysseus was alive today, would he still be a schemer, liar, etc. Would it be tamed down? Not looking for the mental gymnastics as much?

I adore your stuff, keep on doing you. I hope to see more.

You are a frequenter to my page and you are asking me on how I feel on people drawing Odysseus as a tiny figure or whether I believe Odysseus is brave?! THE HORROR! Just kidding I am a yapper and I love analyzing that! So here we go every point at the time.

As always viewer's discretion is advised because my yapping will be non-stop!!!! XD

I remember answering that question in the past to someone else who was wondering of it. If we follow sources like Apollodorous for example, Diomedes was one of the suitors of Helen's and he was also bound under the Oath of Tyndareus. I suspect that was why Apollodorous wanted to explain as to why Diomedes was in the war to begin with. So under this version, Odysseus and Diomedes met for the first time in Sparta while both courted Helen. However I do side up more with other sources that do not include him because arguably Diomedes is the youngest or one of the youngest kings around and he would be very young to be courting Helen at that time (Even archaic paintings more often whatnot have him beard-less so that means he was in his 20s, maximum early 30s in the war when Iliad takes place, aka the final years so that means he joined when he was somewhere between 18-20 years of age). That also fits since some readings of the War of the Epigonoi in which Diomedes took part in, happened around 5 years before Troy when Diomedes was 14). As per readings Helen's courting happened 10 to 20 (as per Apollodorous extended narrative which again do not find me agreeable for! Hehe) years before Troy. Diomedes would literally be a child at that time. So I think it is more logical assumption to believe they met for the first time in Aulis at the gathering of the fleet. As for whether they knew each other by narrations, possibly. Judging on how the kings spoke to Diomedes about his father Tydeus, means that they had knowledge of him and his war with the other Seven against Thebes so yes I believe they have heard of each other but I do not think they actually met before Aulis. They are a generation apart after all!

Gosh...yeah I see it all the time and honestly I am soooo tired of it (I mean sure art is art and everyone is free to draw what they want but honestly I don't think I have ever seen something more inaccurate than people draw Odysseus like a tiny skinny guy and man ONLY STAYS IN HIS TENT?! Lol the dude was lifting the entire Trojan War if not the Epic Cycle on his back! XD I even made this post a while back:

Odysseus? Really? The guy that stood his ground against behemoth Ajax in their wrestling in the funeral games of Patroclus? (Sure when Ajax managed to take the upper hand for one second, Odysseus cheated and kicked him behind the knee but then they were wrestling again and literally neither of the two could come on top). Or Odysseus that basically made Irus, the beggar and all the suitors back off in wonder when he showed his body during his match against Irus (of whose jaw he broke with just ONE punch)? The guy whose back and thighs were so thoroughly described in the Odyssey that it became ridiculous!? Hahaha right!

Arguably his first description happens in the Iliad, which I am citing in this analysis of mine in the past:

Odysseus is described usually short or average to short of structure and then Homer proceeds to explain to us how he is wider in the shoulder and the chest than Agamemnon who was a head taller than him. He is described that he looks like a ram, as I mentioned to my analysis; an animal sturdy, proud and strong. Odysseus has arguably one of the best physiques out heroes despite his age (which makes one wonder how he was in his peak at the age of 30 or something)

As for whether he sat in his tent all day I think that if there is even one person who said that he hasn't read a single thing on Homer. Odysseus was always in the center of all action of the war. Yes, he does refrain from rushing in battle (In the Iliad for example he kept his troops away from action till it was their right moment to arrive or that he placed himself as almost for last to fight with Hector because yeah he wasn't in the mood on dying that day!) but he was always fighting to the front lines, he was always inserting himself in the events that were happening. He was taking part in secret missions such as the one we see in the Iliad (Diomedes and himself going to counter-spy the enemy field or in the Odyssey how he literally sneaks in Troy, which is linked to the Palladium of Athena heist story).

As I mention to that humorous post of mine; Odysseus literally does almost everything in the war; he was ambassador, he was settling things between kings when they had conflicts, he was fighting first line when he had to (but knew when to refrain from it to assure his safety and the safety of his men, thus suffering the bare minimum losses at war), he kept everyone together when he had to, he captured Helenus and extracted the prophecy from him, he went to get the Palladium himself, he came up with the Horse idea and he was one of the first inside the horse etc. Even in the Odyssey; he conquered Ismarus, he killed the suitors himself, he was ready to fight gods and monsters for his men etc. I think the sources speak on themselves.

Yes he does have military experience. For starters the slaves in his palace are called δμωαί which means "slave acquired at war" so most likely he did some of it himself. Two he has the bow that was given to him as a gift for offering assistance to Messina (although the exact length or nature of it is not mentioned in the Odyssey) and Penelope informs us that Odysseus faced the Taphian pirates before (when she mentions the incident of Antinous's father arriving to the palace chased after and begged Odysseus to save his life). Odysseus definitely has military experience (possibly his military successes made him also king while his father was alive, potentially Laertes recognized his son's talent and retired) but it seems that his military experience was not of a large or extended scale (for example like Diomedes) or of conquering nature (like Agamemnon or Diomedes, the first expanded the influence of his kingdom and the latter conquered Thebes, took control of Argos and regained control of his grandfather's lands for him) but they seem rather of domestic nature, such as the mutiny of the Taphians, an area close to his kingdom or offering assistance to a fellow king without getting too much into detail.

Hmm hard to say that I can find some straight out similarity to Odysseus that is a very good question.

I think though so far the greatest resemblance I could find was Christos Tsagas who played Odysseus in Iphigenia movie in 1977 whom I am mentioning here:

And here:

That was literally my moment of

3. Actually I have referred to the matter in another answer of mine:

As I mentioned to that ask of mine, I think the characterization of "morally gray" for Odysseus at least as far as Homer is concerned is not doing him full justice. Odysseus has no problem recognize right from wrong nor does he make bad decisions without thinking even if he knows is not morally correct. Yes, he oftentimes is ready to cheat (see for example the match of Ajax) and he is capable of twisting his words on certain things but he doesn't seem to be the type of person that consistently breaks the law for the loves of it (now his version on certain post-homeric sources such as the plays of Euripides who was consistently writing Odysseus negatively, or Conon, who is the oldest known version to my knowledge of the story in which he tries to backstab Diomedes) I do not see much to characterize him as such. Perhaps the alleged murder of Palamedes would be one (even if we do not know what the contribution of Odysseus was in the Epic Cycle for sure given how we only know Epic Cyle moments from scholiasts and later sources, but as I said I find it way too complicated matter to characterize him straight out as "morally gray" in general much less for Homer

However I absolutely understand what you mean.

Once again I get disappointed when people always assume that Odysseus is like the dude that would step on you to save his ass and laugh in the night about it when we have literally the lengths to which he went in the ENTIRE Odyssey which I analyze here:

Or how he went to save Diomedes in Rhapsody 11 in Iliad! He literally rushed to his assistance and gave him his chariot and stayed behind to cover his retreat. Odysseus also is named the most pious to the gods and the best when it comes to sacrifices by Zeus himself. He protects his men by literally sacrificing his own body when he was forced to accept Circe's bed and mind you he was ready to face her WITHOUT knowing how to beat her spell. Hermes just happened to be on his way. Odysseus didn't know that he would have help. He literally went towards the unknown, with just his sword at hand, to face an immortal witch without knowing what to do because he cared for his men and he was planning his way through. He was ready to fight Skylla. He also tried to test the suitors so all of them wouldn't need to die. He also scolds his wetnurse for wishing to cry out of joy upon seeing the results of the slaughter.

Even in post-homeric sources we know from Pausanias that Odysseus gave Penelope a choice whether she wanted to marry him or return to her father. So he respected her decision. In Sophocles's "Ajax" he feels sympathy for Ajax's condition and he insists upon giving him a proper burial when all other kings turned their backs on him. He also protects the body of Achilles alongside Ajax before that etc.

I think people saying Odysseus has no honor or integrity or that he is totally immoral or that he is not brave or has no selflessness simply haven't read enough of Odysseus. The entirety of the Odyssey was him trying to save what he can from his crew and placing himself in harm's way for them and protecting them with all he had.

~~~~~~~~

Hmm that is an interesting question. Quite frankly I do not think it is fair to always find disorders or syndromes to the Greek heroes and such because just because someone has certain behavioral patterns doesn't necessarily mean they need to be diagnosed just like with everyday people after all. What is more certain behavioral patterns in Greek mythology can be partially "ignored" in one way given how the ancient Greek sources also speak of pre-determined events and such so the agency of the heroes is rather blurry subject but that being said here we go.

I absolutely wouldn't say that Odysseus belongs to the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum. Especially when Homer is concerned. I mean as per DSM-5 ASPD in order to be diagnosed we have:

A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest. (Odysseus doesn't conform to social norms? Who is the one in charge for sacrifices? Who respects the gods to the level of not wishing to offer assistance to people at war because they break the rules Odysseus who desires to honor the customs of Xenia to the extreme? The only "social norm" he doesn't seem to be dealing with is the direct "heroic" battle and he prefers to use wits to do his bidding. Is that outside the ideal social role? Yes. Was he though encouraged or helped by Athena? The goddess that literally dictates some basic social norms? Also yes. Him not being conformed in one specific pattern is not necessarily sign of disorder otherwise everyone's uniqueness is considered a symptom XD As for the things he steals or takes I remind you the actions were encouraged by Athena or placed up by the circumstances or dictated by prophecies and ironically most of the actions happen in harsh warfare. I doubt anyone would be judged if they stole information from an enemy base to help your side. In fact Odysseus resents the idea of stealing from the cave of Polyphemus and run even if his men want to)

Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure. ("for personal profit or pleasure" is the key here. When does Odysseus lie and use aliases? When he needs to protect himself or when he needs to protect others for example with the suitors or Polyphemus. I mean who would go in a room full of men who wanna murder you, over 100 of them, and you would say "hey what's up! It is I!" or in Polyphemus? Who wouldn't lie or hide? In other cases when Odysseus hides his identity or lies about it is when he is not certain he is safe. He doesn't lie just to deceive others and get himself gain something that belongs to others -unless we count some versions created in future sources-. His aliases are usually created for some reason and let's be honest in the situations he was in, most of us would have done the same. Even in Philoctetes where he basically says that he would be a chameleon and slither himself in every situation when the situation calls for it, is also an interesting thing to imagine that we often do so as well don't we? We try to form ourselves up to a situation if we need to.)

Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead. (Impulsivity in certain cases is done by everyone. You do take impulsive decisions or do something out of impulse. In order for this to be pathologic one needs to be doing it consistently. Odysseus arguably always plans ahead. He literally planned the whole "I am nobody" trick so that just in case Polyphemus had allies with him the fake name would confuse them, which actually happpened. He also arguably created allies to both Tyndareus and himself with the Oath of Tyndareus. The fact that he didn't calculate Menelaus would use the oath to get Helen back 10 years later I am not sure if it actually counts as "inability to plan ahead". Also miscalculations to a plan can still happen for example not calculate the true magnitude of of the taking of Troy but again I doubt if that counts again as "failiure to plan ahead". Quite frankly his scheme to take Troy was a perfect success. The fact that several of his schemes turn boomerang against him might as well be seen through the spectrum of fate as well. As for certain impulsive things that he does aka reveling his name to Polyphemus one can say who wouldn't have done so if you think the extreme anxious situation that he was under; days and days of psychological torment and extreme anxiety with barely any sleep or proper food and such? Who wouldn't lose control?)

Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults. (Aggressiveness is definitely part of his persona in more ways than one. But of course that is part of multiple psychological conditions including Anxiety and Depression and of course Odysseus even in Iliad was already a 10 year war veteran which again is behavior often seen in those who have been through warfare)

Reckless disregard for safety of self or others. (Regardless of safety? Odysseus? Who is always keeping his men out of harm's way or advises them to do so? At war he gets in battle when it is the best moment for him and his men, in the Odyssey he repeatedly warns them against certain decisions etc. The fact that more often whatnot Odysseus thinks of death or has some reckless or impulsive decision is again not done consistently and we see that we have moments like that in our everyday life as well)

Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations. (Consistent irresponsibility for the man that was basically looked upon every time something bad happened to fix it? The man that always advised others to make good decisions? The man that seems the very definition of "one pays his depts" guy? I would say not. He often speaks on his emotions and mind you the fact that he managed to sustain provisions on Helios's islands and feed 40 men for an elongated amount of time while famish lasted I would say he knows how to manage his economics and such! Hahaha!)

Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another (He bawls his eyes out of remorse in the island of Phaeakes not once but TWICE when he hears a man singing about Troy. Odysseus is not void of emotion or of the essence of right or wrong and he definitely shows remorse for his actions or he knows when he has to admit it for example he knows the act of murder of the suitors was arguably wrong and yet necessary as per Athena's advise as well but again as far as Homer is concerned)

Of course bear in mind that I am no psychologist or psychiatrist so these are my interpretation as someone who is enthusiastic on psychology.

As I said above I think people making Odysseus's lies as something that consists his whole persona as if he has nothing else to offer is wrong in the first place because if one thinks the conditions he lived in he was always on his guard and worried. So even if one speaks on the lies being too many, they are not necessarily a product of ASPD. Lying is also part of others like PTSD or Depression given how many people lie out of fear or worry over something.

That being said if in modern age Odysseus was a survivor of a terrible tragedy and a war veteran on top of that then absolutely he would act on a similar basis as well as others

So instead of that I think one thing I would "diagnose" Odysseus with, again based on the homeric poems mainly would be

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

For PTSD as per DSM-5:

A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s). (Ι mean...no need to elaborate here now do we?)

Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others. (This speaks on its own. He has experienced both trauma at war by being hurt or chased after or under stress or he was raped and used lost and almost died multiple times or witnessed people die around him such as his fellow kings -Ajax- or his comrades)

Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental. (He literally met his mother in the underworld who told him she died of sorrow while waiting of him, he saw his comrade Elpenor and he found out he died, he heard that his wife was struggling and that his father lost his mind among others)

Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains: police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). (This part is tricky because as far as the Odyssey is concerned we do not know how often Odysseus was experiencing dreams or flashbacks of what happened although arguably he was always remembering it, for example when he was mistreated by the suitors he was reminding himself to endure because he had endured worse before and he remembers Polyphemus so we can assume he definitely had some close calls with his past and dreams before or at least that he constantly thinks of them)

So as per the B section of DSM we do have the factor of reoccurring memories or dreams. As I said as far as Odyssey is concerned we do not have much on the stimuli through dreams however if I may draw the attention to one of the factors:

Recurrent Involuntary and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s) (Odysseus cries his eyes out once a heroic song about Troy begins to play. His memory of the war sneaks in to the point that he blows his anonymity and not only that his memory is stimulated enough to say his story and explain himself to the presented members)

As per the C part of it:

C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by one or both of the following:

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s). (Odysseus doesn't want to reveal his identity again. When he is taken in by Nausicaa he hides who he is. He doesn't speak on himself. He avoids the subject altogether. He knows he has little to no possibility to get the help he needs without honoring the part of Xenia law that involves himself to reveal who he is and yet he is not ready to speak up)

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid external reminders (people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations) that arouse distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s). (Odysseus refuses to take part to athletic activities in Scheria. He doesn't want to blow his cover but also potentially he knows that this brings him memories from the funerary games of the army. He also knows he will always go in full force at what he does so participating would blow his cover and potentially make him reveal who he is, something he avoids)

D. Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic event(s) (typically due to dissociative amnesia and not to other factors such as head injury, alcohol, or drugs). (This one doesn't apply here because Odysseus has a very sharp memory. He explains everything in detail. We also do not see him in Homer abusing alcohol or anything else -and I mean it IS an ancient text after all Homer was no psychologist)

Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted,” ‘The world is completely dangerous,” “My whole nervous system is permanently ruined”). (Odysseus often talks with regret about his decisions during his narration but he also expresses rage many times over on the events that took place. He also calls his comrades "mindless" many times over especially on events that marked his trip's outcome such as the sack of Aeolus or the cows of Helios. Of course that is only natural in one essence so it doesn't necessarily need to be a symptom but I am throwing that to the table)

Persistent, distorted cognitions about the cause or consequences of the traumatic event(s) that lead the individual to blame himself/herself or others. (Once more even though Odysseus doesn't specifically speak on cause and effect apart from the mentions we get in the Odyssey but he does seem to try and figure the root of the problem. He is also speaking negatively on himself or speaking on shameful moments of his trip also certain things like Imsarus he just mentions them. He doesn't even get to elaborate those but moments such as Charybdis or Skylla etc were thoroughly described! Or the shipwreck)

Persistent negative emotional state (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame). (Once again explanation not needed; ashamed to be washed by maidens, fear that he might be trapped again, angry and irritated, feeling guilt. All the emotions in the Odyssey are here)

Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities. (He is not interested in showing his potential to the Phaeakes or speak of his name or heritage even when he heard the song for the first time so he might have clues that they are positively thinking towards him)

Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others. (He is a stranger, a beggar. He sits in the corner. Most of the time he is silent. He is the oddity in the room. He doesn't become the center of attention till his emotions betray him and he has to speak to the Phaeakes on who he is)

Persistent inability to experience positive emotions (e.g., inability to experience happiness, satisfaction, or loving feelings). (He is crying for seven years at the beach longing for his home. He is rarely ever pictured laughing. His feelings of distrust and anger continue and expand even to his wetnurse whom he feels he has to threaten in order to be on the safe side. He feels betrayed by the gods even as he calls out to Athena and reminds her that she didn't help him when he needed her the most)

E. Marked alterations in arousal and reactivity associated with the traumatic event(s), be ginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

Irritable behavior and angry outbursts (with little or no provocation) typically expressed as verbal or physical aggression toward people or objects. (Odysseus definitely shows irritable behavior through and through to the Iliad when he beats up Thersites to make an example out of him or when he loses control when Eurylochus hurts his ego by calling out to him for being enchanted by Circe and he basically brings up a painful memory; the Cyclops incident. Odysseus cannot take this and he is ready to literally slay his brother-in-law on the spot and he is stopped by the others)

Reckless or self-destructive behavior. (HERE is where I would put some of that recklessness we see in the Odyssey; Odysseus wishing to rescue his men no matter what; he is ready to fight a goddess with little to no plan to save the little he has left of men after his loss by the Laestrigonians, he is ready to fight Skylla for them, he provokes the suitors to see who is rotten and who is not.)

Hypervigilance. (No explanation needed here! Odysseus constantly sees enemies and reasons to distrust people. He doesn't allow his men near the sack of winds, he remains awake even to do it all by himself. He saw danger to the bay of Laestrygonians and tied his ship outside the bay -and he was proven right-, despite the fact he was in friendly company, he hides himself from the Phaeakes and he constantly tests or measures people, even his wetnurse needs to be threatened in his mind, even the loyal slave Eumeus needs to wait a bit before fully trusted to be placed within the scheme he was planning. Even when the Phaeakes were proven true to him and brought him home, when he woke up and he didn't recognize his own country, his first thought was that the Phaeakes tricked him.)

Exaggerated startle response. (He literally grabs his wetnurse by the throat when she is ready to shout. He is even threatening on top of that to make sure that she will not speak up despite his orders)

Problems with concentration. (This doesn't seem to apply here since Odysseus is hyper focused most of the time either when he tells his story or when he is planning the murder of the suitors)

Sleep disturbance (e.g., difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep). (This one again is tricky since we have no clue but at the moments we see Odysseus sleeping for example during his return, we see him sleep peacefully. We do not see much on nightmares he might or might not have. Perhaps he has some but the thought of his homeland puts him at peace)

Suicidal thoughts are also common and Odysseus thought about ending his own life many times over in the Odyssey; from the moment the sack of winds was opened and he saw his home away once more till the moment he was at Calypso's isle and he was thinking of death daily.

The dude even had a syndrome named after him known as "Ulysses Syndrome" or migrant syndrome of chronic and multiple stress Basically it involves chronic stress especially for people who spent years in anxiety while moving from one place to another (to put it very roughly)

Okay please psychologists and psychiatrists do not come and have my head for this I am only doing this for fictional characters and not for real people, I am just enthusiast of psychology and not an actual psychologist so yeah...guys be gentle with me! XD

But yeah I think this whole thing on "Odysseus is a liar" as if that is his reason of existence or that he is like a pathological liar or that he doesn't have any sort of moral code I feel like it misses the whole point of the homeric hero (although some examples of post-homeric and roman sources might fit that better)

Hope this answers some of your questions dear Anon and sorry this was sooooooo long! Yeah I am normal about that guy! XD

[ominous-faechild]

FAERIE'S DAWN

CHAPTER 2: KILREY (PART 2)

CHARACTERS: ✦ Nova “Me” Fae (pov) ✦ Scamall “Cloud” Fae ✦ Spéir “Sky” Fae

story intro table of contents chapter one < last chapter next chapter >

Sky: [suddenly comes to a stop behind them, raising his voice) "YOU WHAT!? You expect us to believe you can take on an archfaerie!?!?"

Nova: [growling, spins on his heel and warps to—]

Nova: [reappears directly in front of Sky, a whole foot taller and gripping the front of the faerie's shirt as he pulls their foreheads together]

Nova: [snarling, practically spits their words out) "stay behind if you want! Die! Because that's what's going to happen! I can save you if you come with me, but otherwise!?!?"

Nova: [can't help it as her rage—and snarl—breaks for despair—]

Nova: [turns their face away, releasing Sky's shirt to reappear in the spot they'd vanished from]

Nova: [doesn't finish what they had to say, crying silently as they instead hurry through the streets]

Faeries: [all holed up in their homes… whether because of the time, or the storm]

Storm: [rapidly growing into a whiteout blizzard, only breaking for flashes of lightning in the distance]

Air: [vibrating and crackling from the electricity, the magic storm, or both]

Cloud: [having taken Sky's hand in hers; voice quiet, but pained) "Sky… look." [points into the air, toward Nova's essence] "That's theirs. Even if they can't fight him… I think they can do something against him…"

Sky: [silent for a moment, but—]

Sky: [lets out a slow, shaky sigh]

Sky: (voice quiet and uneven) "why did you have to get us in this situation?"

Nova: [struggles to ignore them, feeling a wave of relief as they cross the last building of the town… though they still have some distance to go before they've escaped Kilrey's dominion]

Tremors: [slowly seeping from spreading from the air to the ground]

World: [violently rumbling; the air itself is vibrating and full of visible electricity while the ground quakes under the group's feet, breaking the cobblestone road they're trying to travel across]

Road: [except... while it cracks, it doesn't separate. Not until Nova passes. The pieces remain close enough together that the group's able to walk across it—even as it rises in the air and then scatters behind them]

Nova: [almost absentminded in her steps, confident in her magic's ability to keep the stones she needs in place to walk on. Instead, she focuses on collecting what magic she can from the environment and magically watching Kilrey close in on them]

Sky and Cloud: [behind her, use a mix of their own magics to help them hop between the separating stones and stay close behind Nova]

Cloud: [essence suddenly flickers further than before, flinging itself toward Nova—]

Nova: [tenses, immediately warping out of the way of the attack and flipping to face them, but—]

Cloud: [only created a small dome of clear air around them, granting them more visibility through the blizzard in their immediate area]

Cloud: [freezes at Nova's reaction]

Sky: [and tenses, putting himself between Cloud and Nova]

Electricity: [focused around them, sparking and flashing across the air, and making all of their hair stand up on end]

Nova: [heart pounding, looks between the two, the dome around them… and something not far behind the two.]

Kilrey: [catching up.]

Nova: [bites his tongue, tears swelling in his eyes]

Nova: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I ruin everything…

Nova: [with only a moment to think, envelops the three of them in his own essence and pulls them outside the bounds of Kilrey's dominion]

Group: [reforms with Sky and Cloud in the same positions as before, but behind—]

Nova: [facing the direction they'd just come from, much more drained from having pulled them all through another's dominion… but shielding the two air faeries with his own body]

Nova: (not even sure if he's pleading with himself or the world) please don't stab me in the back… please don't make me regret trying to help you… I can't let more fae die because of me… so please don't make me die again…

Nova: (voice unsteady, but raised) "I'm going to take him on. Just run. Even if I can't stop him… you can get away. I'm sorry for getting you dragged into my problems…"

Cloud: (voice uneven) "I—"

Sky: [nope! Takes her hand in his and drags her along, trying to follow Nova's instructions advice]

Cloud: [hesitantly lets him pull her away, taking her clear-air dome with her]

Nova: [heart pounding, stares out toward the concentration of Kilrey's essence speeding toward her]

Nova: (to herself) … you've done this before. You can do it again, Mabh.

Nova:

Nova: [can't help a weak, pained laugh]

Nova: not that one, either… 😅

Rumbling: [suddenly spikes in strength as something speeds toward her—]

Nova: [tenses, quickly throwing up both their hands and a magical barrier to protect them]

Snow and earth: [bursts forward and out from the ground, flinging itself toward them]

Nova: [skids backwards along with their barrier, wincing as they struggle to keep it from breaking—]

Suspended Snow: [falling in clumps from the air, reveals the faerie that'd punched through the blizzard like a bullet… Kilrey.]

Kilrey: [8 feet tall, almost twice Nova's height, and towering above them. Has far-too long limbs all covered in thick, dark brown fur and tangled plants; standing atop hooved, satyr-like legs; has stag-like horns branching from an elongated face; and covered in moss and plants that're woven into his fur]

Kilrey: [grins widely as he looks down at Nova, eyeing them through the pink-tinted barrier]

Nova: [breathing heavy and struggling not to cry, but steadily stands back up straight, hands still crossed in front of her as she holds up the barrier]

Kilrey: (voice low, almost like a growl, and yet gleeful) "ah… you know, Silina tried lying about what you were…"

Nova: [still wincing, takes the opportunity to strengthen her barrier]

Nova: (to herself) no surprises there…

Kilrey: [reaches down, trying to shove his hand through the barrier]

Barrier: [blocks it just fine!]

Kilrey: [—monologue only interrupted by a laugh) "but when your essence built… I recognized you, Dhia…"

Nova: [winces, only now realizing their stuffing themself full of ambrosia backfired by making themself noticeable… while they'd gone in with such little power in order to hide]

Kilrey: [as he spoke, tightened his furred hand—and essence—around her barrier]

Kilrey: [and, finally, shatters it in his palm]

Nova: [thrown back from the force of the collapse, skidding into the ground and getting buried into the snow]

Nova: [already incredibly drained, but… struggles to focus their essence on his, trying to find the weak points they'd noticed the last few times they'd tried this]

Kilrey: [as they did, leisurely walked through the snow, stopped in front of Nova, and finally leaned down to pick them up by the throat]

Nova: [half-gasps, half-sobs, grasping at his hands as though they had anywhere near enough strength to pry themself free]

Kilrey: [and all the while, smugly) "I can't believe you're still alive… I'd heard you died, Dhia."

Nova: [just stares up at the blizzard-tainted white sky, struggling to breathe and focus—]

Kilrey: [slowly begins sapping their magic, drawing out his words as he does) "let me relieve you of—"

Kilrey: [suddenly falls silent, the strength fading from his fingers]

Nova: [tears himself from Kilrey's grasp and falls to the ground, gasping for breath as they glare up at him]

Nova: [tightens their magic around his soul, snarling as best he can]

Nova: (words as strangled as his voice) "'relieve me of my power?' You piece of shit, you really think it'd work this time!? When everyone else has failed!?!? WHY ARE YOU ARCHFAE ALL SO FUCKING EGOTISTICAL!?"

Nova: [digs his essence into Kilrey's soul like knives, unsteadily rising to his feet and taking shaky steps toward Kilrey]

Kilrey: [completely frozen in place, face blank and unable to move… because Nova had broken his will, like every faerie was capable of doing.]

Nova: [had just needed him to let his guard down, to give them the chance to work their way through his protection]

Nova: [glares up at his blank face with a snarl… and tears still in his eyes]

Nova: (voice hard and hateful) "but I'm merciful. And you're useful. So here's what we're going to do. Kneel."

Kilrey: [face still empty, obliges. Lowers himself onto one knee, kneeling in front of them… and barely getting low enough that Nova can look down at him]

Nova: [reaches forward to grab him by his throat with a vicegrip and force him to meet her eyes]

Nova: [still snarling, all but spits) "you're going to go back and erase all memories that I was here! You're going to go back, tell Silina that I managed to escape you and fled South, make sure nobody leaves town for a week, and then you are going to forget all about me! You'll forget I exist, you'll forget I wiped your memories, and you'll FORGET YOURSELF!"

Nova: [left gasping for breath, glaring down at him with tear-filled eyes… before her face finally breaks]

Nova: [half-sobbing, brokenly) "understand?"

Kilrey: (tonelessly, breath slightly strangled… but only slightly) "yes."

Nova: [releases Kilrey's throat, taking a few shaky steps back]

Nova: (weakly) "good. I've given my commands. Now, fulfill them."

Nova: [finally releases their magic on him, letting her feet collapse under her]

Kilrey: [rises smoothly, then promptly twists on his heel to tread back into his dominion]

Nova: [cries softly, watching his back slowly get further and further from him… because the blizzard's largely died away, taking the whiteout with it]

Nova: it never works… won't you guys stop TRYING!?

Nova: [gasping for breath again, falls back to stare up at the beautiful, star-filled sky slowly shining through the fading blizzard]

Nova: … why couldn't I just be a normal faerie?

Nova: [closes his eyes, unable to stay conscious]

So... what's on your guys' minds? 👀

Any theories? 😉

story intro table of contents chapter one < last chapter next chapter >

Faerie's Dawn taglist:

@honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa @thecomfywriter @an-indecisive-nerd

@seastarblue @rae-butter @teamarine777 @caffeinated-starsailor @oliolioxenfreewrites

@corinneglass @thebookishkiwi @storyteller-kara @themongosianhorse @theburningeyeofdawn

@notyourlocalworm @write-with-will @mildlybizarrecorvid @forgottenvalor @huewrite

@vesanal @differentnighttale @plip-plap-plop @olliedoesthings @pupculture

@princessuncertain @mythicalmagical-monkeyman @i-do-anything-but-write @a-zendrial

@real-fragments @lunauphternal @sullymarlowe @aalinaaaaaa (ask and ye shall be added)

dividers by @thecutestgrotto and @saradika

[meear]

umineko fans are the original "if you don't like it you just didn't understand it" people. I genuinely cannot think of anyone more annoying and obnoxious, except SNK fans, except not even them, because in Umineko's case that behavior is enabled by the author himself. It's crazy how a story that spent hundreds of hours discussing the value in several coexisting interpetations will have both characters and fans turning around and tell you that actually you're completely wrong for thinking a certain way

The crazy part is they don't even realise how their smug attitude about being part of R07's very special club of people who "have love" and the superior way they act about holding the true answer are EXACTLY the Erika traits they criticise in readers who don't think like them. "He spells it out but you still cannot see it? Lol" "are there still people who can't accept the literal canon answer? lmfao" "you know you're exactly the goats r07 wrote about right?" (Because r07 is a god who cannot possibly be contradicted, this is supposed to be the worst insult somehow) (these fans cannot seem to decide who the goats are an analogy for, considering they'll scramble to say they only represent the story's witch hunters as a criticism of true crime fans when you call out r07's arrogance, yet they'll smugly tell you you're just a goat when you question the story itself. Thank you, it's nice to know that Ryukishi wrote about me, but that doesn't answer the fucking question, Brian)

It's incredibly ironic. How did a story like Umineko create and encourage so many people to sanctify one "official answer" and taking any other attempt as an insult?? Like is anyone feeling how ryu07 completely fucked up at what he was trying to do?

"So I won't open the catbox and reveal what actually happened on the island." oh, that's cool, I actually really like that! I agree that ultimately the true events of that day are a pretty trivial part of the story, and it's way more interesting not to know - "anyway it's Rudolf and Kyrie and it happened exactly like so and so, and Shkanontrice did this and that".

... Okay, well I really wish that had remained a mystery forever, since the point was that any truth would've been anticlimatic, and the choice to reveal that genuinely kills a lot of what made Umineko's appeal to me, but I guess we can still have fun with EP1-4 and try several alternative theories for the sequence of events- "here's the manga explaining everything in detail and if you didn't get it have you tried maybe having some more love? It would be sooo clear if you had love lmfao. you literally cannot comprehend my work unless you have"

... I really wish that guy would stop making assumptions about the inner mind of complete strangers who read his work, but I do enjoy getting to choose an ending! it really fits in with Umineko's theme of choosing the truth for yourself and making your own path that you can be happy with, as long as you keep thinking- "the Magic ending is meant to be the true end btw. if you prefer the other one you pretty much have no heart lol, it's obviously framed like a bad ending and there's only one acceptable choice and one way ange can find happiness"

... man, I'm so bored. Why write a game like that and then make it so that some choices are better than others instead of letting people think for themselves? Why would you force an interpretation on people/Ange when I've been led to believe that the narrative was against that sort of things? You want to highlight the value in your vision of "magic", fine, but why am I the heartless bitch for disliking that perspective and even trying to see things differently?

Why would you write a whole game around the really fun concept of several tales happening at the same time and the existence of endless truths inside the same catbox only to open the catbox and tell me "NO, you need to think a certain way, and if you don't like my answer FUCK YOU"

I understand that maybe he just had a specific answer in mind but I'm sorry the way he write the ending simply does not match the vision he seemed to have in the earlier chapters.

I genuinely respect Umineko as a work, I think it's one of the most ambitious stories I've seen and there is some amazing writing in there, but if Ryukishi wanted to allow for people to keep thinking and discussing what it means, he has failed miserably and I'm not talking about confession of the golden witch, I'm talking about the way he and his minions have shut down any possible discussion under the guise of "you just don't get it" (rephrased to "you don't have love" to make it sound more enlightened) and it's soured my enjoyment of something that should've been an amazing story. What is even left to discuss here when everyone has pretty much already made up their mind?