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trainsinanime · 8 months ago

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I really wish Robert from Aging Wheels did a review of the e.Go Life. You never heard of Aging Wheels? He does Youtube videos about weird cars.

youtube

You never heard about the e.Go Life? It's this:

A small electric car built by a start-up company in Aachen, Germany, where I live. These pictures were taken at their factory, actually. The company recently filed for its second bankruptcy, and literally nobody believes that they'll ever make cars again. It's closely related to Streetscooter, a company that built electric vans for the German postal service, but that's a whole other story.

The e.Go Life is right within the Aging Wheelhouse. Now, I strongly believe that this video will never happen. For one, I don't think anyone's ever been stupid enough to bring one of those to the US, and I think it's honestly not that interesting compared to the even smaller home-built things he usually (for some definition of "usually") he reviews. They built a four-digit number of them, after all (around 1350), so it's almost mainstream.

Small City Car

In a wider sense I think it's interesting to talk about the idea of the small electric city car. For decades now, people have been telling us that we should buy small electric city cars; cars that can cover 90-95% of our driving, and rent cars or (in Europe) take the train for longer distances. And this has never worked out, people just don't buy these cars. Why is that?

Well, first reason is because they all cost way too much, obviously. They cost too much because they're built in low numbers, and with low numbers of sales there isn't the money to get the degree of production scale and automation necessary to get the price down.

e.Go (and Streetscooter) claimed to solve that issue with their special production method, and in fact both projects were born out of the production systems chair at the local RWTH Aachen University. Certainly some impressive stuff. They had their own local 5G network in the factory for network-enabled torque wrenches, which they were very proud of.

History

Perhaps a good time to mention the history and relationships here: Streetscooter was originally set up to build a small electric city car. Here's a prototype in 2013.

Then they also designed a small electric delivery van. Then the German Post/DHL wanted small electric delivery vans, and unlike, say, the stupid stuff the USPS is doing, they actually did something about it, bought Streetscooter, and turned it into a real company. I think they built about 15,000 so far, most for the German Post but also some for third parties. Then the German Post got new management which found that the economics were not as rosy as they thought, they tried to sell the company, the new owner declared bankruptcy, right now the professor who founded this is back in charge, and I have no idea whether any production is actually happening anymore.

e.Go was then set up by the people that founded Streetscooter to build a small electric city car, seemingly going back to the original vision (although the specific story of how they came to the e.Go Life in its modern form is a bit convoluted as well. Apparently JIRA boards were involved). Both companies were founded in and produced in Aachen, Streetscooter at the old Talbot train factory (unrelated to any car company ever named Talbot), e.Go in a newly built factory. They're also both unified by being based around new innovative production methods that allow you to build cars, even in small runs, more efficiently and cheaply than the big manufacturers with all their steel presses and what have you.

Except not. Neither e.Go nor the much more successful Streetscooter ever managed to build as many vehicles per year as planned, and the prices were also by no means exceptionally low. The promise of better production methods just couldn't be kept. The professor who started it all keeps complaining about how German government and German post aren't doing enough to support small new promising car manufacturers, but there have been people arguing that he knew what the conditions were, his promises were just too bold. Impossible for me to say from the outside, but that doesn't sound all wrong.

So, production costs are an issue, and e.Go didn't solve it. But I think that hits at most 50% of the issue.

City Car is an oxymoron

I think there's not actually a market for a city car, and you can reach that conclusion from multiple directions.

The first is that cars don't actually make much sense in the city, and making the car smaller doesn't change that a lot. Mercedes used to talk big about their Smart car, but the reality is that the best Mercedes for city driving is the biggest and most expensive one:

You have no issue with parking spaces because it doesn't need to park, it just leaves when you're done with it, and when you need it again, it appears within fifteen minutes or so. You don't need to pay attention to traffic, a professional paid driver will do that for you. The one in this picture is even electric.

Our cities are full with cars, and it's making everyone miserable, including the people who drive cars. They are constantly complaining that there aren't enough roads and parking spaces and too many traffic lights everywhere. Say what you will about the e.Go Life, but at the end of the day, it's still a car. Maybe it takes up 60% of the size of a normal car, and it fits in the special extra-short parking spaces in some of Aachen's absolutely bizarre parking garages, but at the end of the day, still a car. Together with safety margins, it takes up maybe one or two meters less road, big whoop. You definitely won't fit two of these into one parking space. Its advantage over a regular car is, at best, cheap and electric.

So if you don't particularly like cars, this one won't change your mind. Bus, bike, e-bike, cargo bike, scooter and who knows, maybe even a tram in the future, are all solutions that are much cheaper and in many ways more useful for getting around the city.

On the other hand, if you do like cars and do like driving into city centres, this offers basically no advantages over a normal full-size car. The only thing you can say is that by being small, it offers electric at a reasonable price, but as we saw, that's very debatable.

The 90% car

The standard statement about a small electric city car has always been that it does 90% of what you need a car to do, or more precisely, more than 90% of all car trips, and surely you can make do with that. And I think that's true, to an extent: Many people could make do. They just don't want to.

The folks who still believe in the idea that a car is freedom are not interested in a 90% car, because the extra 10% are arguably when a car is at its most useful. Being able to drive to my parents 500 kilometres away right now with no planning, no seat reservation, only stopping for fuel, is useful. For me personally, that's way more useful than using it to go shopping or to work, both things where I can do very well without it.

The folks who don't buy into car ideology and are open to more efficient and ecological options for local travel, well, they already have these options in the form of public transit, e-Bikes and so on.

The "city car" is really only an option for people who depend on a car for every-day travel because there are no good public transit options, but who have other options for the few cases where they need to do something interesting. The ideal place for such a car is as a third or fourth car for a family living in suburbia. As every fellow train and urbanism enthusiast knows, that's not actually something we should encourage, as a society, even though we keep doing it. That aside, perhaps a suburban car for that market could make money, if it was sold at a low price, but nobody's managing that. A normal-sized car that gives you the option of long-distance travel if you need it just seems more appealing if both cost the same.

And of course nowadays we have electric cars that have reasonable long-distance ranges. The era of the small electric city car was over before it even started. e.Go never had a chance and on the whole, it won't be missed. The solution to our problem isn't more cars, not even relatively small ones.

(All pictures © me, you can use them under CC-BY-SA)

#cars #aachen #e.go #e.go life #streetscooter #aging wheels #i have a cold right now and feel miserable so I will not proofread this one before posting #Youtube

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os2warp · 2 years ago

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i made a squeal to my cringe star trek self insert fanfic. it had just slightly better production values (i figured out png files are smaller than bmp files but dont have the artifacts of jpg files!), but it was lost when i accidentally erased my hard drive in like 2010. i recovered the source images i used for a lot of it, it had lots of recycled stuff from another lost shitty mspaint/windows move maker thing i did. an original cartoon called the crazy weird move. its lost too, but i did manage to recover it’s original script. iirc it was made mostly by keysmashing in microsoft word then letting spellcheck sort things out, then it was rearranged into something barely coherent.

brief summary: an evil oil tycoon named mop is stealing oil from fiji and in his spare time he hides radios under people’s hats. apparently other than that, he’s a nice guy. our hero, dyof (obligatory self insert) has to stop him by hiring “the lawyer man in a dress at moo cow university” but he doesn’t have any money. fortunately his friend polio couch just robbed a bank. anti-flag shows up at the end for a benefit concert.

lots of other stuff that is completely unrelated to the main story happens. is there even a main story? there’s a karate teacher named josh f nukealstein, who goes to an “italian puffy pants party” with someone named pillow b dumb. mop’s criminal headquarters is in someone named john j juju’s garden shed. there’s an old lady named mum kudzu who likes to dance and throw chives at people. there is a character named the dutch fiddle chef. apparently he cooks fiddles and people eat them and get diarrhea.

there’s lots of random song quotes scattered throughout the story for no apparent reason.

the story just ends with “to be continued” because i clearly had no idea how to conclude this trainwreck.

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sunder-soul · 3 years ago

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𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖉𝖔𝖛𝖊

❶·❷·❸·❹·❺·❻

Chapter One: There's just something about those Riddle murders that doesn't quite make sense... Wordcount: 2.3k Content warning: language, allusions to bigotry.

Permanent Taglist: @jujugentle @weirdowithnobeardo @pearlstiare @fromthehellmouth @whoevenfrickenknows @moatsnow @voidmalfoy @lucys-brain @sunles @arana-alpha @tallyovie @expectoscamander @nothinghcppens @itsjustfics @mikariell95 @suicide-sweetheart636 @toasterking

Name: MORFIN GORMLAITH GAUNT

Age: 46

Wand: fir, 10 ¾ inches, dragon heartstring

Residence: Gaunt Estate, Little Hangleton, Yorkshire

Marital status: -

Offense charge: three counts of murder in the primary degree

Date of charged offense: 1st July, 1943

Offense Detail: prisoner entered the residence of the Riddle family (Muggle, IM-00) and inflicting the Killing Curse (UC-001-1717) upon the three members of the Riddle family present; Thomas Riddle (63), Mary Riddle (60), and their son Tom Riddle (37). Use of the Killing Curse has been confirmed by Prior Incantato (see report DMLE-619-1951-BLE, SA: Robert Odgen).

Date of Testimony: 3rd July, 1943

Prisoner plea: guilty

Sentence: Azkaban, 360 years

Date of Sentence: 3rd July, 1943

You frown.

It’s very late, the candle your desk is barely a stub, the little flame hovering nervously on the surface of a broad pool of wax, and you’ve been copying over these stupid reports to the new, tamper-proof parchment forms for seven hours now – but something is extremely odd about these dates.

“McCollin,” you say slowly. “Did you work this case?”

“Hmm?” McCollin doesn’t look up at the desk beside you, head resting heavily on one hand and his spine curled into a perfect and truly concerning C-shape over his own stack of files. He looks close to passing out right there and then, salt-and-pepper hair a little greasy, scruffy five o’clock shadow, eyes bleary and shadowed.

“Gaunt,” you read, “1943. You were working with Odgen then, right?”

He snorts. “Yeah, I remember that nutter.”

“What happened?”

“Guy was from one of those ancient pure-blooded clans, you know, one of the real fanatical ones, inbreeding and liquidated assets and all,” McCollin yawns, dragging his hand down his face and smearing ink across his whiskered cheek. “Hated Muggles like nobody’s business."

“Yeah he killed three Muggles, right?” you peer at the report.

McCollin nods at the form he's copying. “Went off the deep end one day. Walked right up to their house and murdered ‘em. When they brought him in he was ranting and raving about how they’d had it coming for years.”

“He was arrested, charged, and sentenced within three days,” you say slowly.

He finally looks up at you. “So?”

“That’s the fasted processing I’ve ever seen.”

“The guy admitted to it, kiddo,” McCollin says in deadpan, “he had snakes nailed to his door and his family tree was basically a Christmas wreath.”

“Yeah, but… what made he snap?”

He laughs again, shaking his head despondently as he returns to his form. “You got a lot to learn.”

His tone wants to be fond but it just strikes you as patronising, especially considering the amount of times people have said that exact same stupid line to you. It’s like half the bloody department think being Muggle-born makes you incapable of understanding the subtle and unique intricacies of wizarding culture – as if bigotry and supremacists and assholes are exclusive to the magical world. “What?” you say a little too defensively.

“Families like that… guys like that… they’re not right in the head. Hate Muggles just to hate ‘em, reckon they’re all that’s wrong with the world. Honestly it’s a miracle he didn’t do it sooner.”

You look back down at the report, suspicions anything but assuaged. “Yeah,” you say quietly, “it is.”

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

“Did you ever watch Gaunt’s testimony?”

“You’re still going on about that?” McCollin drawls, heaving the towering box of finished files up a bit as he heads for the lifts.

“I looked him up in Records and the memory’s only available with supervisor permission,” you push, following him quickly. “If you signed me off then I could get Owler to –”

He slams the button and stares at the little golden arrow above the elevator grate slowly sliding towards the basement floor. “And why in Merlin’s name do you want to watch the Gaunt trial?”

You slip your hands into the pockets of your purple Ministry robes. “I’m interested.”

“Interested,” he echoes, shooting you a look. “Is that so?”

“He was processed in three days, McCollin. If it was that obvious he was guilty, it must have been one hell of a trial.”

“It was,” he scoffs as the lift dings and the grate grinds to a noisy open. “Fine, but only if you finish Johan’s quota by five.”

The triumph is impossible to keep off your face and McCollin rolls his eyes at your immediate glee. “I’m on it,” you grin, spinning around and racing back to your desk to get started.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

“Merlin’s beard,” McCollin mutters, shaking his head at the stack of completed transcripts. “I gotta hold stuff over your head more often.”

“Just sign the slip, McCollin,” you smirk.

He sighs and grabs the quill from your hand, and you hold your breath as he scribbles his initials on the slip. “You’re obsessed,” he drawls.

You seize the slip and round on the lift, heart racing with excitement. “I’m interested.”

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

The trial is absolutely insane.

Morfin Gaunt looks like a Witch Weekly cartoon caricature of a fanatical blood-purist and he rambles in a manic-edged, ceaseless torrent about how much he enjoyed murdering the Riddles as the Wizengamot mutters and blithers disapprovingly for about three hours – but something catches your attention right near the end. Something you can’t help but ask Owler about the second the memory ends and you’re thrown back into the Records Room.

“Who’s Merope?”

Owler’s sallow face looks about as thrilled at your question as he was at your request for the memory in the first place. “Merope Gaunt,” he says in a flat, nasally voice, waving his wand at the Pensieve and sending the memory swirling back into its phial.

“Merope Gaunt?”

Owler’s thin, anaemic lips downturn even more. “His sister.”

You stare at him. It is not at all what you’d expected. “And why did he call his sister a mud-soused, scumsucking slut?”

“Ask your supervisor.”

“He seemed to be saying he killed those people because of Merope, why on earth would his sister be why he –”

“I keep the records, I don’t conduct the investigations,” Owler interrupts with not inconsiderable disdain. “Now if you could please –”

“Did they bring Merope in for testimony?”

Owler gives your continuing presence a very dirty look. “No.”

“Why not?”

He pushes the door to the Records room open and stares at you.

You try to hold your ground but Owler is unrelenting, and you're forced to step past him with a curt sigh. “Right, well, good afternoon, Owler, thanks for –”

The door slams shut behind you.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

“Get what you wanted?” McCollin smirks as you collapse stony-faced into your chair.

“I forgot how impressively unpleasant it is to talk to Owler,” you mutter, resting your head in your hands. “Did you know about Merope?”

“Merope?”

“Yeah, Morfin’s sister.”

“Didn’t know he had one,” McCollin says disinterestedly.

“He was saying some stuff that made it sound like she’s why he killed those Muggles.”

“Uh huh.”

You lift your head, giving him an incredulous look. “He said she’s why he murdered three people, McCollin. How does that not interest you?”

McCollin throws down his quill and sighs sharply. “Look kiddo, the guy’s rotting in Azkaban, he admitted to the murders, they found the curses in his wand, and he had a memory of the whole thing. What exactly are you hoping to achieve here?”

You can barely believe it. “Why isn’t Merope Gaunt mentioned in any of his trial documents?” you say sharply.

“Either she wasn't relevant to the proceedings, or she's dead, or he made her up,” McCollin shrugs, “like I said, the guy went off the deep end.”

“But why doesn’t it say –”

“Just drop it,” he sighs impatiently, “you have work to do, and I won’t have you wasting clocked time on some case from nearly a decade ago.”

“Come on, McCollin, can’t you admit that it’s weird that –”

“I said drop it,” he says sharply, “don’t make me be the big mean supervisor here, you know I hate it.”

You glare at him. “Fine,” you say through gritted teeth.

It’s almost too easy to pull Morfin’s old file from where it’s still sitting in the refuse pile and subtly charm a copy of it that evening.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

Merope Gaunt, as far as you can tell, fucking vanished off the face of the earth in 1925.

There’s nothing, no addresses, no marriage or death notice, no registered Floo connections, no DRC calls for gnomes or doxies or even the odd kappa, not a single trace of her after Morfin and their father Marvolo had a stint in Azkaban for assaulting Bob Odgen back in the 20s.

It seems like the second they were locked up, she scarpered.

You sit back in the Archives Hall and let out a long breath, flipping the folder shut dejectedly. Morfin’s file is a thick wad of anti-Muggle hate crimes rivalled only by his father’s, and closer inspection had revealed that the Gaunt family estate sat a cool twenty minutes' walk from Riddle House where the murders had occurred. If Morfin had lived so close to some of the Muggles he hated so much, he’d been sitting on a clear motive for murder for years.

So why suddenly snap?

What had pushed him over the edge?

Why did he cite Merope in his deranged testimony?

Why talk about her in that way?

Where the hell did she go?

There are endless questions and zero answers. Plus, you kind of get the feeling that if McCollin saw you hunched in the Archives after-hours trying to find those answers, you’d get your pay docked.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

That night, you sit bolt upright in bed with a surge of electric realisation.

Mud-soused… scumsucker…

You’ve heard that language before. You’ve processed about four hundred case files of harassment with that language.

“Idiot,” you breathe, smacking your forehead and falling back onto your pillows with a thump. “Idiot, of course…”

Because that’s the way Pure-blood extremists talk about witches and wizards who've fallen in love with Muggles.

Suddenly, you have a pretty good idea where Merope might have disappeared to the moment her blood-obsessed brother and father were out of the picture, and a pretty good idea of where you might be able to look to find her. Because you’ve been looking in the wrong place.

You’ve been looking for her in the wizarding world.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

“I have the craziest news for you,” you grin, slamming a silver Sickle on the counter and taking your seat at the bar.

“You say that twice a month,” Mori grumbles, setting your drink down and sliding the coin into his huge, calloused hand.

“It’s true twice a month.”

“It’s true half as much as you think.”

“I found her.”

Mori’s dark brows raise. It makes his gruff face look slightly less intimidating. “The lady from that old case you're into?”

“Yeah,” you beam, seizing your drink and leaning forward. “Started going through marriage certificates, and –”

“You’re telling me that your big-shot Ministry intern arse has been working this thing for a month and you didn’t even check marriage certificates?”

“Not Muggle ones,” you smirk.

Mori takes a glass off the bar and starts to clean it as he peers at you. “Go on.”

“She married the same guy her brother murdered, Mori,” you breathe, glancing around to make sure none of the shady denizens of Moribund’s are listening – it’s not like the bar's regular patrons are so welcoming to your big-shot Ministry intern arse on the best of days considering you’re half-way down Knockturn Alley in the dead of night. “They fucking ran away together!”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Mori mutters.

“Exactly!”

“What are you going to do about it?”

You shrug, taking a sip of your drink and feeling supremely pleased with yourself.

“What, you spent that much time investigating this thing for no reason?”

“Nah,” you say quietly, lips still in a smile. “I have a feeling there’s more to it than this. I still have to find out what happened to her after they got married and her brother murdered his new in-laws.”

“And what’s this guy’s name again?”

You give him a dry look. “You know I can’t tell you names, Mori, I’m pushing the bounds of my contract telling you this much already.”

He shrugs his massive shoulders, casting a wary look around the dark bar. “If you’re looking for people who might know a thing or two about murderers and Muggle-haters, you’ve come to the right place.”

“I’m here to talk to you, Mori, not the murderers and Muggle-haters.”

“You’re here to drink cheap and rant to someone who won’t rat you out to your boss,” he growls.

You give him another grin. “Cheers to that.”

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

You find Merope’s name in a record tome of an old church parish almost by accident. There’s barely any information there, just one name on a huge list of those buried in the pauper’s graveyard less than ten blocks from where you’re sat amongst the looming shelves of the Muggle public archives at that exact moment.

But there is something.

It says she died in a place called 'Wool’s Orphanage' on New Year’s Eve in 1926. It’s not hard to guess why she might have been there, and how she probably died.

Merope Gaunt had a child.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

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evienyx · 4 years ago

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Hey so uh, sorry that this is kinda a personal question and unrelated to what you usually post but you seem really nice and I was wondering how you figured out that you were ace? I’ve been struggling with this myself for a while now, and was just wondering if you had any advice or something. Please don’t feel obligated to respond or anything, I totally get that this is kinda a weird question and might make you uncomfy, so sorry about that in advance. Thanks!

Well, I’m going to start off by saying that everyone is different. You won’t figure it out the same way I figured it out, just like how I didn’t figure it out the same way any of my friends did. That’s all right. Take all the time that you need.

Additionally, I only really figured this out for myself in the last few years, and one day something may happen that I identify with a different sexuality and that’s also okay. This is not a ‘one-and-done’ kinda thing. It’s all right. This is your thing. Yours.

For me, it was around my freshman year of high school that I started realizing that I had never really gotten to that phase where I started obsessing over anyone. Now, in middle school, even though that was the time when a lot of people around me really started going hard into the dating thing, I never did. I skipped a year in school, though, so it would make sense for me to be about a year or so later than everyone else hopping on the hype train of teenhood, but halfway through my first year of high school, it was still pretty mute.

People around me would joke constantly, say things like “Oh, well, once she gets her first crush, everything will change.” I remember distinctly my cousin asking me if I had a crush on anyone, and then me saying no, and then my grandma patting me on the cheek and saying “You just haven’t found the right boy yet.”

So, for most of freshman year, I sort of just accepted what people around me said, that I was a “late-bloomer” and I would one day fall for someone hard and everything would make sense.

When the end of freshman year came around, I was quite sure that I was just another straight girl, who would get the whole ‘attraction thing’ soon enough.

As the months went on, though, I realized a few things.

1. Whatever thing was meant to change, didn’t come to fruition.

2. I was perfectly fine and open to dating someone, but I didn’t care about what they looked like. When friends and cousins and the like would show pictures of actors and talk about how hot the actor was, I’d agree, but almost completely on a baseline objective level.

and 3. I was completely uninterested in the idea of sex. I didn’t seek it out, or care about it. It was barely even spared a thought in my mind.

I started thinking that there might be something wrong with me, or that maybe I had felt sexual attraction toward someone, and I just hadn’t noticed. But the further into the year I got, the more I came to recognize the fact that that was not the case.

I recall on one specific wet day in the late winter of that year, I was walking my dog on the one day the temperatures were slightly decent, and I was just scrolling through the internet aimlessly when I noticed something that caught my eye. It was a post (which I cannot find) of around two dozen pride flags, each with a name and description of the sexaulity or gender identity it represented.

That day, walking the dog through slush that got melting snow stuck to his paws and mud clinging to my boots, as the temperature prepared to drop below freezing for another week, I learned, for the first time, what Asexuality was.

I had seen the flag before, of course, and heard the term ‘ace,’ but I had never looked into it, thought about it. I didn’t think much of it at that moment, either. I just filed it away and moved on to exhale sharply through my nose at whatever ‘Stonks’ meme came up on my feed next.

Quite a while (as in, literal years) passed, though, and I found myself thinking about the idea of ‘Asexuality’ that I had heard about more and more.

The one thing that really held me back was the fact that I was fine with the concept of having sex with someone, though I was only really interested in doing it for the experience/intimacy, and possibly in the future to have a child, and I thought to myself, “I can’t be Asexual if I want to have a kid. That’s not how it works.”

Surprisingly (or maybe not surprisingly at all), there was one thing that really did it for me in the end, and that was when Muffin ( @muffinlance ) announced on Tumblr (in a post I cannot find) that she was going to be having a baby.

An asexual (married too, so take that grandma!), having a baby. While still being asexual.

I looked into it, discovered the idea of someone being Asexual Sex-Positive, Sex-Neutral, or Sex-Negative. I found out, truly, about the idea of being Demisexual, or Gray Axsexual. The idea of an Asexuality Spectrum was opened up to me, and I realized suddenly that all of my worries, everything that had been holding me back, didn’t matter.

My Tumblr bio shortly after changed from ‘she/her’ to ‘she/her, ace’ and it was one of the best feelings in the entire world. I don’t quite think I’ll ever be able to describe to someone who never went through the experience of finally feeling like your belong, if only for that one moment.

(also, currently, I’m of the opinion that I am either Biromantic or Panromantic. I’m leaning more towards bi, but I’m completely open still. I also have still not dated a single person ever, so who knows. That’s not what this is about, just thought I’d mention it)

You should take all the time you need, find what fits you. It’s weird to hear, and it’s hard to do, but I’m quite sure that once you find it, you’ll know it.

Last holiday season, while at a gathering with the more intensely religious and traditional side of my family, a cousin of mine sang “I Kissed a Boy,” by Adele, but changed the lyrics to “I Kissed a Girl,” so as not to appear ‘gay’ in any way, shape, or form.

I noticed a different cousin of mine looking a bit upset while he sang the song, and so I talked to her alone afterward to see if they were all right, and after just a few minutes of speaking about nothing in particular, he came out to me in a hallway at a holiday party when no one else but me was around. And, in return, I did the same and came out to them.

He was the first family member I ever came out to, and that was the first time I truly told someone my sexuality. I told them I was asexual, and they accepted it and we hugged and it was one of the more exhilarating moments of my entire life.

So, in the end, how did I figure out I was ace?

I just sort of did. I feel I could have done more research earlier than I did, but that’s all right. It all worked out. I figured it out, and I promise you will, too. And if you get it wrong a few times before you get it right? That’s perfectly okay, too.

Anyway, one more additional personal thought about something I noticed that I think is kinda weird:

Muffin and her actions and stuff are so weirdly tied to such random core parts of my life. I published the first chapter of Fractures because I was encouraged and inspired when I saw her own stories. I finally figured out my sexuality and felt like I belonged, like one of those flags was mine, because of her. It’s just a bit crazy to me. Thanks, I guess, Muffin.

All right, that’s about it. I hope this helps, at least a bit.

I wish you the best, anon, in figuring out who you are. You can take as long as you need or want, you don’t need to stick to a choice. This is your identity. This is yours. Not a single person gets a choice in the matter besides you. Good luck, and remember, you’ve always got me in your corner. If anyone ever gives you shit about this kinda thing, send ‘em my way. I did Tae Kwon Do for two-and-a-half years, and I’m also constantly fueled by spite and Twix bars. We’re all here for you.

That goes for anyone. Don’t be afraid to embrace who you are. I’m proud of you, we’re all proud of you. This is who you are. Enjoy it.

#not atla #ask #ask away #ace things #this is a long post but #you know what im not gonna put it behind a read more #i mean unless someone specifically asks me too?#id do it then #if it was hindering ppl in some way #but other than if that happens #then no!#anyway im gonna go to bed #hope you all enjoyed my ramblings #remember #dont be afraid to be yourself #bc thats all you ever need to be #i promise #edit: ive changed the pronouns of my cousin as they've recently come out and now use he/they pronouns

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morimallow · 4 years ago

Note

Kurōo with a male reader but reader actually animated and draws really well, can do realism easily literally any art style. And has worked fir anime studios & even made their own anime animation b4?

And he finds it out because he and Kenmawere snooping around?

WAIT, THIS IS SO CUTE. LET ME.. CHERISH THIS. I will entitle this..

Strokes

〖 This is fluff and crack (but I'm not funny?) despite the title, believe me. 〗

You were at your university studying a course totally unrelated to arts, same old poorly made up excuses for you not to go and enroll for Fine Arts running through your mind on a daily basis.

If you think about it, it's fine. Your parents decided to let you go and do artsy stuff after you graduated from whatever that course is.

But then again, this is you and you know you'll get rusty if you won't draw and just focus your mind on lengthy equations and pain-in-the-ass Language lessons and field practices you're sure you won't even use it in real life. Not with your chosen real career choice.

So, you decided to give it a go. You will be immediately offered a job if people can already see your potential.

You'd draw in your free time and also in not your free time and send those samples to animation studios. You use digital and paper and pen alternately... just because.

You would say you're popular. You have an art account, not using your real name because who the hell knows what your parents might do?

You would post there your WIPs, some original characters you made, an character you saw in a manga you read a long time ago that you forgot the title, your commissions with a large DO NOT REPOST or SAMPLE in the background, rough sketches of your boyfriend who doesn't know he was drawn, not that he would mind if he did know.

But the thing is, he really doesn't know. Nope, not a clue. None.

Not until you asked him to use your laptop, which was full of your drafts and placed helplessly on your study table, to send an email to your professor.

You have 4 accounts all in all: a personal one, your art account which you use for digital art stuff and to communicate with other artists, your account for the university and a formal one for.. formal stuff, I presume.

The things is, the account that was currently logged in was your art account and the animation studio you work at sent you your schedule the moment he opened your laptop.

Which means he accidentally opened it.

Kenma was sitting on your swivel chair, doing something on his phone. He was Kuroo's ride because they had somewhere to go after your boyfriend's done with what you made him do.

Kuroo briefly scanned the content of the mail before switching accounts so he could send the file you wanted to pass to your prof.

After telling you it's already sent.. he went back to your art account and whispered to Kenma who was too bored he joined Kuroo in his shenanigans.

Were they thinking you're living a double life? Yes. Did they scan your files? Yes. Did Kenma accidentally stumble upon an open box filled with tons of sketch books and old tablets you used for digital art? Yes. Did they start their search for whatever they're searching there? Absolutely.

For Kenma, he grabbed the sketch book with a label with the same name as the game he's addicted to at the moment. They were drafts then the final designs for the characters.

Kuroo didn't really feel angry or irritated you didn't tell him this. He knows you'd answer him honestly if he just asked but he can't.. stop.. looking at your works.

He was mesmerized. He has a lover so good in arts? HELL, YEAH. He's now convincing Kenma to join him to commission you because you deserve it.

You knew Kuroo would know about your work the moment you entered your dorm with their shoes still by the door. You leaned on the door frame, looking at them still smiling fondly at your works and you were thinking how to approach the situation because.. you weren't really angry? Your works have been out in the public for so many times. Why would you have an issue with Kuroo and Kenma looking at the original ones?

“What do you think?” you asked.

“You didn't tell me you were this amazing! I didn't even know you draw,” Kuroo said pouting but still feeling proud and happy if that's possible.

“I thought you already knew when I asked if I could practice on you?”

“What? When— I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE BETTER AT KISSING SO I SAID YES.”

“I was on my phone.. drawing you..”

“You weren't scrolling through videos on how to kiss?”

“What made you think I was scrolling through kissing shit when I was holding my phone at a weird angle because that was the first time I used my phone for digital art?”

“Well, did it turn out good?”

“Absolutely, I caught your ugliness and enhanced it to make you uglier.”

Bickering, teasing, and Kenma not minding you two.

Kuroo then asked what your plans were after college and told you about the schedule he accidentally saw earlier. He knew then about your work, about when you made your own anime that was one of Kuroo and Kenma's top 10 faves. It was a short one but definitely caught their hearts.

Kenma had been planning to develop his own game and wanted you to design the characters, get your own crew to develop the graphics and all that artsy stuff (because I don't know anything).

“Kenma, you're my best friend but you can't just steal my boyfriend from me!”

“Kuroo, stealing and hiring are two different and obviously unrelated things.”

After a few more hours of planning and telling stories, Kenma decided to go home and Kuroo stayed for a sleepover.

He asked you where the hoodie he lent you a few weeks ago was because he didn't bring any change of clothes and you said it was in the top drawer.

Just as he was about to close it, his eyes caught a glimpse of a picture.

No, it wasn't a picture. It was a digital portrait of someone..? Maybe a late relative or your close cousin? The person (?) in the frame had some of your features. It was too realistic it didn't cross his mind that it was one of your works.

“Hey, babe? Who's this?”

The moment you realized what he was holding, you stopped breathing. He wasn't supposed to find that but then again, maybe you shouldn't have hid it in one of your drawers.

You mumbled your answer.

“What? Come again?”

“W-What our c-child would look like,” you looked away, blushing.

I realized the title had nothing to do with the content. Maybe this is why I never win in essay writing contests. LMAO. 💀

#kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #male reader insert #kuroo x male reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x you #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x y/n #could also be #gn reader #kuroo x gn reader

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criquette-was-here · 4 years ago

Text

Long Due Replies

Hi everyone! It’s been some crazy few months for me. Real life has taken over completely so I didn’t have a chance to pay attention to my inbox. There are lot of asks on troubleshooting and I apologise for not being able to help on time. I hope everyone who needed help has got it somehow >.< There’s a crazy amount of messages, so I’m going to hide it under the cut.

@shutupshirley said:

Hi Criquette, I’m sorry because this is dumb, but I don’t understand how to install your neighbourhood lighting mod on an installation of Ultimate Collection... do I change out every lighting.txt file I can find across all the expansion and stuff packs? :/

Thank you!!!!

Hi @shutupshirley! I’m not a big specialist on windows version of TS2 and UC but I believe there are two folders you have to look at and they are ‘Fun with Pets’ and ‘Open for Business’

Anonymous said:

What do you imagine residents of Feverfew are called? I keep doing Peruvian but like Ferfewian or some

Oh, yes, I was thinking about this matter at some point! Feverfewian is what I came up with. I even found a wiki article about different names for different town inhabitants to sort of made it up a bit, but I haven’t write down the result I had and now I’ve lost it. I think feverfewians sounds best, it can even have some silly derivatives like ‘fewies’

@3sushiroll said:

Hi Criquette, I'm getting into SC4 and have been getting the hang of it while using the sims 2 hood planner. I've been starting to use bridges and have been using yours. When I put in the tile measurement into the hood planner (ex: 15 tile = 8 in SC4), it doesn't exactly line up in game. Does this usually happen for you and you put in a piece of fake road in the middle or am I just doing it wrong and it should line up super nicely? Thank you for all your wonderful creations!

Hi @3sushiroll! Yes, TS2 parses SC4 roads this way. I always put some decorative road in the gap or I make the shores narrower so that the bride would overlap the road. But to make slopes where the road ends equal, you have to use TS2 terraforming tool to make this flat empty piece of terrain right after the road end into slope so that it would look like the opposite.

Anonymous said:

Hi there, hope you're doing well! I downloaded your simple walkways set and noticed that they float. They don't sit on the ground properly. Is there anything I can do on my end to make them sit closer to the ground? Any help would be appreciated, thank you!

Hey anon! Thank you! Yes, this old set of walkways was made this way. Maxis made neighborhood mode roads float, so I had to do the same with road related decorations. But now you can use these Cobblestone paths or side walks from the Rural Charm, they’re as close to the ground as possible.

Anonymous said:

hey! would it ever be possible for you to create recolors of the cobblestone sidewalks in red brick/cobblestone?

Hi anon! I don’t think so :| I can’t even find the time to fix some Ferverfew related issues >.<

Anonymous said:

Hi Criquette. I liked Feverfew very much. I would like to make some of the houses multi-unit, keeping your doors in place. Is it possible to add the function of apartments to these doors? :)

Hi nonne! As far as I’m aware, you can only default replace those apartment doors which is quite useless. What you can do, is to put an apartment door right behind the front door. This, obviously, would eat up the space but could work as a solution.

Anonymous said:

Hello! I just downloaded Feverview and it's gorgeous! I can't believe all the little details you added, the effort and love you put into this project is incredible. I just had a small question: a few residential lots are fake apartments, I was wondering if you know how to turn them into functional apartments

Hi anon! I’m glad you liked Feverfew! ^__^ In theory, you can use SimPE or Lot Editor to change lot type from residential to apartment and then implement apartment doors somehow, but since I don’t have AL in my Super Collection, I have zero experience in that.

Anonymous said:

Hi Criquette! :) I just realized recently that if I delete objects in game, I have to delete first the recolors of it. I've already deleted a bunch of objects without knowing about this, so now my downloads folders has houndreds of recolors without meshes. Do you know about anything I can do to find and delete these orphans? (Delphys download organizer just can't make difference)

Hi anon! I’m definitely not a helper on the matter of keeping Downloads folder organised, sorry ^^’‘ I would thing about finding sets of files with similar names keeping eye on the absence of the word ‘mesh’ in the names, and looking at the file size at the same time. And that would take ages, obviously.

@ardyyy4 said:

Hello Criquette. I love Feverfew so much. But I have a problem. The grass and NHood objects are flickering together and it looks bad. How can i fix it? Thanks.

Hello Arda! That’s because of the neighborhood camera you’re using. I’d recommend you to install this particular camera just to get rid of flickering.

Anonymous said:

Hello! First of great content! Always been a fan! I was wondering if you could give a bit of advice with hood deco, I have downloaded an Ocean floor from Gwenke, and in lot view it only shows up at the very far edges, around my lot it is missing (it does show when render is set to small though). And it shows on beach lots too, I was wondering if you know of way to make it so that it is seen no matter what the view distance is etc? (I have the relevant cheats on btw) Thank you in advance!

Hey nonnie! Thanks :) Have you ticked off object hiding in the settings? Other than that, it could be camera issues.

Anonymous said:

is there a way to stop neighborhood decor from fading? I know there is the „boolprop dontmergenhflora“ cheat, but I still get some fading. for excample when I look at the lot from the street the NH decor by the street fades

That’s definitely sounds like object hiding option from the game settings :}

Anonymous said:

Hey how are you ? I hope all is well. I was wondering how is it that ts2 has no ski deco but in ts1 we had ski slope and skate lake !?? I was wondering can you and the sim community make deco or interactive items such as a ski slope or even snow shoes or just something that goes with seasons n BV pack ?

Hello anon! I hope you’re well too! Ski slope and winter sports related decos is something I wanted to make since 2016, but never had enough time to do so. Sometimes I even think about available TS2 technologies to make an animated ski lift and umm.. may be in the next ten years? ^^’‘

Anonymous said:

hello!! i'm sorry if u already answered something like this (i searched but found nothing) but the better nightlife isn't working for me :(( i put the better nightlife+voielle water on download fold and the decorations still flashing in pink light, i did something wrong? (i use win10) sorry for the inconveniente

Hey anon! Sometimes you have to do these weird steps in order to make it work:

remove Better Nightlife + water mod from your downloads folder,

load the game, load the neighborhood, make some changes, exit game

put Better Nightlife with water back. Toggle day/night with ‘L’ key to see if it works. If it’s not, than the problem is somewhere else. Pink flashing also could be unrelated to Better Nightlife, so I’d recommend to check TS2 graphics setting for Win10 manuals available.

Anonymous said:

Hello there, I'm having a problem with the rural charm, on lot view the roads have yellowish boards (idk how to explain exactly). I saw that was because of CuriousB terrain, but I don't have it downloaded anymore so I'm kinda confused. What should it be? Sorry for bothering,,,

Hello, anon! What’s current season you’re having in your game? It can be the season lighting differences that make roadside and terrain grass colors different. If it’s not, I’d check the Downloads folder to see if there’s still some terrain DRs I’ve forgot about.

@pinkflamingosims said:

Hi criquette! I was wondering if you have any idea why some hood deco cc crashes on mac, like palm 1 to 4 from the tropical 4t2 set by leoz94. Leoz94 says the only difference is the high polycount, but I don't think that's it, it looks a bit high to me but not insanely so, I have other stuff in that range with no problem... Have a nice - evening?

Hey @pinkflamingosims! I hope you’re doing well! Yes, some hood decos are really make the game crash and frankly speaking, I think that’s jsut package related issues like broken references in the resource tree. The best way to fix this type of hood decos is to make a clean and stable new clone and replace mesh/textures again.

Anonymous said:

Hello and thank you for amazing Feverfew map! I have a problem... ground is flashing red and I cannot fix it, do you have solution for this problem? It's been soooo long when I last played Sims 2 so apparently I did something wrong when installed CC. :(

Hello anon! Thank you! Oh, red flashing could be the result of lighting mod not being installed correctly. I’d start with getting rid of any lighting mods to see if it helps.

@marv61 said:

Hi Criquette. I just downloaded your terrain of Forkshire, it looks great! I know it has been since 2009 that you uploaded the terrain but I was wondering if you have a completed Neighborhood with houses, trees and all for download? I would love to play your version. Thanks.

Hi Patchman! Oh, goodness no! :D That was 12 years ago, those TS2 files are long gone since then.

Anonymous said:

Hi Criquette, first things first, I love your work thank you so much, you inspire me! Now the question: I have been using the dirt roads from your Rural Lanes set and found that sometimes it is difficult if not impossible to fit them to the slopes of steep terrain. Would it be possible to instead create road pieces as a texture like your Neighborhood Decals? That way they would "stick" onto the terrain regardless of shape. Wondering what you think? Love!

Hello and thank you, anon! The problem with the decals – we can’t see it in lot mode yet. And it must be a DR only so we’d have to ditch one of the Maxis’ decals for dirt road, which isn’t great too.

Anonymous said:

Hi Criquette! Will Betternightlife mod ever be updated to work with lighting mods with dawn and dusk? Is there any that already works with it? I really want to use the light up hood decos!

Hey anon! You can use it with lighting mods that add dusk and dawn to the game. For instance, there’s one here by @dreadpirate.

Anonymous said:

Hey Criquette! I recently used your template to make lit-up hood deco buildings using the Better Nightlife mod. The day text was great! However, the night texture was being clipped by the day texture. That is, some parts of the day texture was showing through the night texture. Is there a fix for this?

Hello nonnie! I’d recommend to check the meshes to see if day/night parts clip through each other and if they aren’t I’d check if all the day/night TXMT data is correct.

@criquette said:

I've installed Fewerfew following all your istructions. Apparently it works but the night lamps are flashing pink even ig I've installed the mod better night light. It seems that this mod does not work properly. Any recommendation?

Being Criquette, you should know the solution to that issue yourself :P Just kidding, sorry, couldn’t resist! If it flashes pink only by night than you have to check your ‘Downloads’ folder for conflicts. If it’s flashing constantly day and night, than I’d better check graphics setting using some windows related guides available across the Internet.

Anonymous said:

Hello, I love Feverfew and it's amazing. I have a problem where Linden Tree 1A isn't showing up in my game even though it's in my downloads folder. Also the railroad tracks are flashing blue, and those are in my folder too. Thanks in advance! :)

Hello anon! What type of the trees you’re using? Stand alone or default ones? If you’re using defaults, you can find the trees under Maxi’s oaks accordingly. As for the flashing blue railway tracks, check if you have this set in your ‘Downloads’ folder :)

Anonymous said:

Hello Criquette, before asking for help, I came to say that the Brazilian community loves your creations. But, to get to the point, anyway, I have been thinking about creating a Hood (inspired by Rio de Janeiro), so I would like to know how to create Deco Hoods for my game (the statue of Christ), I can't find that anywhere, Would you help me?

Hi there! Ah, most kind, thank you ^^ Well, there’s no big deal in creating hood decos. You have to switch your SimPE to advanced mode and after that neighborhood decoration will be visible in the catalogue to be cloned. I assume you already know how to make lot mode objects and know how to create, edit or convert meshes/textures though.

@hideshio said:

Hello! I found your train set (and it's AMAZING) on mts and was wondering if you had a railroad crossing sign? With the lights, X, and the red/white hand that goes down. Or the lights that go across a pole above the railroads. Thank you! =D

Hello @hideshio! Well, there is a railway crossing sign with lights and red/white hand included in this set :D it’s not animated though. But still!

Anonymous said:

Hi criquette, I’m a huge admirer of you work and I was wondering if you had any advice regarding road placement. Specifically the difficulty of road pieces that are deco only being able to be placed underneath the actually roads leaving it looking a little off.. if there a way to raise them higher before placing them or some kind of work around?

Hey anon, thank you! Unfortunately, there’s no way to make decorative road pieces work for lot mode and neighborhood mode at the same time. If you lift them so they look okay in hood mode, they will float in the air in lot mode. Since my latest creations are lot mode oriented, I’ve decided to save my efforts on making road pieces even with neigborhood mode roads.

Anonymous said:

Hey Criquette. I noticed that in my Feverfew none of the buildings across the street of Feverfew Sports Hall show up. I know those are supposed to be hood deco and look like duplex buildings, but I can't figure out what I'm missing. I deleted and redownloaded everything and couldn't fix it. Also the river ends at the first bridge in front of the cathedral, so the boats next to it appear to be flying. What is going on?

Hey anon! There’s definitely some files missing. If you’ve checked and redownloaded all the files, try to replace the Feverfew neighborhood folder with initial one. The game never restores disappeared hood decos by itself. Even if they were placed in the folder after their absence is discovered.

@simping-simmer said:

Hi Criquette, am I remembering correctly that there is a trick you can do with SimPE to change the height of individual pieces of hood deco? I’m struggling with putting ships in my dock because if I change a CC ship’s placeability to be able to be on both land and sea, it just sinks, but if I only keep it on sea, it can’t get close enough to the shore to place it in my docks. Does this make sense at all? Lol

Hello @simping-simmer, you’re absolutely right. You can change the height of placed hood decos via SimPE. Things you need to do are described here and here

Anonymous said:

Hello! I love all your work. I was wondering if you had ever thought of making some desert roads along the lines of the Terrain Mod: Dusty Roads for Desert Neighbourhoods by Stev84? I love the way this looks in my desert, but unfortunately, this mod makes the road in live mode a floor, which then makes you unable to place driveways.

Hey anon! Thanks ^^ Frankly, I don’t have any plans on creating any desert related CC at all :|

Anonymous said:

Hello Criquette. I would like to thank you for all the amazing work you have done creating content for sims 2. Thanks to you all my projects are possible. My question is: Chainlink fences for neighborhood deco... Do they exist? Searching the web these past day only found for build mode. Do you know of someone who already make some for deco hood? Or kindly will you be able to make some if its not much work? My sports fields and Industrial zones will be pleased for sure! Once again, thank you! :)

Hey anon and thank you! I don’t think hood deco chainlink fences were created by someone yet, but they definitely would be a great addition to the game. I was going to create some while working on Feverfew, but never had enough time to do that. May be i’ll make one at some point in the future!

Anonymous said:

Hello, Criquette. Do you know of any way to place lots without the area around it moving? I downloaded Ousmeo's remake of your Dullsfielde and read his og post using the waytime machine. When viewing that post, Tumblr recommended similar posts, one of which seemed to be a tip to prevent good deco from moving when placing lots nearby, but that post wasn't archived, so I can't visualise it. My guess is that if anyone else knows about this, it must be the best hood decorator that ever was ;-)

Hello anon! Ugh, this TS2 ‘feature’ is driving me mad quite often too! Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to get rid of it. The only way to fix the consequences is to backup initial hood folder and when you finish placing lots, replace spoiled terrain with the initial one with SimPE or HoodReplace.

#replies #answers #asks #Anonymous

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vhenadahls · 4 years ago

Text

bend but never break

Rory Stern, a civilian contractor on the Normandy, has her physical examination from Dr. Chakwas. The doctor takes one look at her chronic pain and gives her the first answers she’s had in seven years.

G, 2100 words.

(This is a fictionalized account of my own getting diagnosed with hypermobility spectrum disorder!)

Rory steps through the airlock, breathing in the familiar recycled air of the Normandy’s CIC. It hasn’t been long since she’s been on the ship - she was here just last week, doing the final pre-shakedown calibration of the drive core’s integration with the cooling system - but she wasn’t carrying a duffle bag then. And there were people at various stations around the CIC, but not like this. A lot more swearing at code, then, compared to the current introductions and shouts to old friends and salutes. Not everyone who’s going to be on the shakedown cruise is on the ship now, either, but it’s certainly got a different feel than it did with a bunch of nerds in coke-bottle glasses just like hers.

Those glasses slide down her nose a bit, and she smiles. Okay, everyone else’s weren’t bright blue, but still.

She steps aside to let someone in uniform with a cart full of supplies past, then heads purposefully down the center aisle. She’ll know his name eventually, and the thought of knowing everyone on a ship again sends a thrill down her spine. The galaxy map isn’t turned on, of course, but she still looks over as if it might be before heading down the stairs. Her right hip twinges as she walks down, and she huffs in frustration when she’s on level ground again. Already acting up, apparently. Maybe it’ll prefer artificial gravity the way she does, but she’s not hopeful.

The elevator, still just as slow and irritating as before, takes her down to the crew deck, and she finds the bunk she’s been assigned. Someone else will be sharing with her, of course, but there’s a footlocker just for her, and she’s able to fit her few belongings into it. The familiar lack of creature comforts and even personal space is a friendly reminder that she’s on a ship again. She’s been planetside far too long.

Once her things are packed away neatly, her next stop is the med bay. Other people are bustling around and familiarizing themselves with the ship’s layout - no one wants to get lost during shakedown - but she’s been here for years working on interfacing the Tantalus drive core with standard (and not-so-standard) Alliance tech. And that means skipping that step, and getting her introduction to the ship’s doctor over with.

Sighing again, she takes the elevator back up, mulling over what to say. I’ve had chronic pain in my shoulders for seven years, it’s been appearing in other joints, they always say it’s unrelated. She snorts. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that this military doctor with a battalion of marines to take care of is going to take a second glance at the achy civilian engineer.

The mess hall is a bustle of activity, with marines stocking their gear lockers and crew members squaring away food, medical supplies, and other necessities. Rory weaves her way through the chaos towards the med bay. It smells clean and sterile, even more so than the rest of the ship. A woman with chin-length grey hair leans over the desk to the left of the door. She looks up when the door slides open, giving Rory one of those bland doctor smiles.

“Hello,” she says, reaching out a hand to shake. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Dr. Chakwas. You are…?”

“I’m Rory Stern.” Rory shifts from foot to foot after shaking the proffered hand, trying not to belie that her hip is bothering her. “I’m a civilian, one of the engineers who’s worked on the Normandy the whole way through.”

Nodding, the doctor turns back to her desk, swiping a finger over her datapad. “Ah yes, I remember that name. I believe I was looking at your medical record earlier…” she trails off, focusing on what’s on the datapad. She gives it a decisive tap. “Yes, I remember now. It says here you’ve been suffering from chronic pain in your shoulders for about seven years now, and your hips and knees for some of that time?”

Sighing inwardly, Rory nods. Yet another doctor who’s just going to treat the description in her file of years-long pain as just a random note. Another doctor who’s going to be less likely to treat her properly. She tries not to get lost in memories of the string of physical therapists acting like she doesn’t want to get better, trying not to hope that Dr. Chakwas will be any different.

Dr. Chakwas is talking again, so Rory drags her attention back to the present. She studies the way the cabinets are built into the wall to avoid looking the doctor in the face. “We’ll definitely take a look at that. But first I have to do the standard physical exam, which I’m guessing is why you’re here?”

Rory nods again.

“Hop on up on this bed here, then.”

The doctor goes through the standard physical health checks - vitals like blood pressure, heart rate, weight, height. But after that, and after recording all that data into her datapad, she sits back on her stool with the pad and a stylus poised as if to take notes. “So your file has some descriptions of your pain, but I’d like to hear it from you and see how it compares to this.”

“Okay.” Scrolling back through her memories, Rory tries not to roll her eyes. Thirty-one years in this body, seven with the pain, and barely anyone listening. The one doctor on a ship of soldiers isn’t going to care about the chronic pain of a random civilian any more than anyone else is.

“My first year of grad school, towards the end, I started having issues with my left shoulder.” The words spark a sliver of pain in the shoulder, almost like a sense memory. She rolls first that shoulder, then the other to prevent them feeling uneven. Her neck complains, but she tries to stretch it more surreptitiously. “I figured it was just weak from sitting poorly at a computer console all the time. I tried to sit better or prop it up. Didn’t help. I finally got some physical therapy and exercises that seemed to help, but the way the school health system worked I couldn’t keep going. The pain was fine for a while, but it comes and goes, moreso if I do stuff like carry bags with that arm. I went to a chiropractor for a bit, and they did some sort of nerve test? I never really understood the results from that. But I kept getting bounced around between physical therapists and stuff. I don’t remember when it got as bad as it is now, but I can’t wear a messenger bag, or stand for long, or lie on that side for long.”

Dr. Chakwas is nodding along, sometimes scribbling new notes on her datapad and sometimes crossing something out. Rory squints, trying to make out whether she’s crossing out her own notes or old notes from previous doctors.

“My hip is more recent. And my back, I guess, I can’t quite tell. That’s been maybe two years, and often affects my right knee I think? Sometimes my hip feels like it catches when I walk. I did physical therapy for a little while for that, but it didn’t seem to be helping. And sometimes my elbows and hands hurt, and maybe my wrists? I haven’t really had much physical therapy or anything for any of those, though. It hasn’t felt worthwhile, because I’ve been trying therapy for the other pain and not really gotten anywhere.” It all comes out in a rush, and when she finishes she realizes she’s massaging her right wrist. Her instinct is to stop, to move her hands apart and put them in her lap, but she lets herself continue. Maybe the self-comforting motion will endear her to Dr. Chakwas.

A minute passes without words, the only sound the doctor’s stylus on the datapad. Eventually she looks up, tapping the stylus against her chin thoughtfully. “You mentioned a nerve test. Have you had other tests done?”

“Hmm, let me think.” She squints in thought. “I’ve had a lot of blood tests done for various things, but I’m not sure anything was for this. Or maybe there was, and there was one positive value but it wasn’t indicative of anything? And I think there was an MRI once. But everything seems to have come back normal.” There definitely was an MRI, but you couldn’t pay her to remember what it had been for. And it’s not like any of the tests had helped.

More tapping, then Dr. Chakwas puts her datapad back on her desk. “Okay. I have a thought, and I’d like you to do a few quick movements for me.” She reaches out one hand, bends her wrist down, and presses her thumb back towards her forearm. It’s about two or three inches away. “Can you do that? As far as you can.”

Rory does, sticking her right arm out in front of her and pushing the thumb back until it touches her forearm.

“And the other hand?”

She does, touching the two together again, wondering what this has to do with anything.

There’s what looks like the beginning of a smile on Dr. Chakwas’s face now. She picks the datapad back up. “Extend your left elbow for me, all the way, then the other, out to the sides. As far as you can again.”

One after the other, she stretches her arms out to her sides.

“One last thing. Can you put your palms flat on the floor when you bend over, with your legs straight?”

Bending over, Rory flattens her palms on the ground. “Wait,” she says, tilting her head to look up at the doctor. “Are my knees straight already? I can’t do it if I push them back any further, to lock them.”

“No, you’re fine.” She takes another note on the datapad. “You can stand up now, and sit back on the bed if you like.”

Climbing back onto the bed, Rory has a brief moment of embarrassment realizing she’s using her hands to support at times when it seems her core muscles should be able to handle it. But once she gets settled, she looks back up at Dr. Chakwas - trying to keep herself from getting too hopeful that these weird new tests will say something, trying not to get too cynical.

“Do you know what double-jointed means?”

There’s a twinge in her right hip, so Rory shifts to sitting cross-legged on the bed before answering. “It means there’s more of a range of motion in a joint than normal, right?”

“Yes, that’s it.” That’s definitely a smile on her face now. “You’re hypermobile. Double-jointed. Your ligaments and tendons are looser than normal, so you’re prone to overuse injuries, especially when your muscles are weak. With pain, it’s hypermobility spectrum disorder.”

“What?” Rory’s mouth drops open in shock. She’s certainly sitting up straighter now, leaning forward to listen.

Laughing lightly, Dr. Chakwas nods again. “Your joints like to move a lot. You might’ve gotten frequent sprains as a child, or felt more flexible than others. But now you’ve got so much pain going on, and we need to start working on building your strength up. There’s a physical therapist here on the Normandy -”

Rory wilts. It’s not even worth trying to hide it. Dr. Chakwas notices immediately.

“I know you haven’t had great luck with physical therapy before, but please try this. His name is Sergeant Patrick Travers. He’s used to working with stubborn marines who think they’re invincible - and our very stubborn pilot - so you’ll be a nice change of pace for him. You can usually find him in the gym on the crew deck. Should I send him a message that you’ll be along to see him?”

The doctor sure is pushy, but it’s not for nothing. Rory muses over that word hypermobile before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll try it.” Maybe she even will. She’s got a lot of research to do first.

“Great.” Dr. Chakwas slides her stool back towards her desk. “That’s all I need from you now, I think. Do you have any questions for me?”

“I think I’m good for now.” Rory hops down off the bed. “But I’ll swing back by if there’s anything else I think of that I need some help with.”

“That works. Please do see the physical therapist, Ms. Stern, I think you will find it valuable.”

Rory doesn’t answer that, but when she gets to the door and it hisses open, she turns back. “Thank you, Dr. Chakwas. Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Stern.”

#mass effect #rory stern: mathemagician #karin chakwas #i'm really glad i wrote this #logan writes fic #roryfic

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ihatetaxes99 · 4 years ago

Text

THE YAKUZA AND THE PHOENIX - A BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA FANFICTION

"See, the problem with people like you," Commented the cool, sanitised yet utterly terrifying voice of Kai Chisaki as he kneeled down just in the very corner of the hero's peripheral vision. "Is that you relied far too much on that disgusting disease that plagues every last vein in your Godforsaken body. Maybe if you had just thought ahead a little… Has this illness robbed you of your senses, too? Left you as useless as a newborn? Not that it matters. It's far too late by now for any part of you to begin thinking about what could have been. I mean, just take a look around." He raised one hand to adjust his mask, while using the other to gesture to the scene around the two, one filled with flame and destruction. "If you had thought to bring police, tried to corner me with rifles, well you might have had some sort of success. I'm not stupid enough to resist against live bullets. But no. Your sickening Quirk has left you with such delusions that you thought you could stand to take me on alone."

The young woman's eyes filled with nothing but pure steel as she looked up at him. There was no fear to be found in the glare she delivered the man known as Overhaul, in spite of the terror bubbling in the pits of her stomach, constantly threatening to rise to the top. But she would not let it. Not in front of this Chisaki bastard, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he had won.

"No words?" The man sighed, poking her lightly in the head as if to provoke a reaction. "Like a kid who doesn't get their way. Stubborn to the end. What a pain you are. The worst kinds of people are the ones who don't realize they're infected. They have no true redemption in their future. It's kind of weird when you think about it. What a shame… Not that it's any of my concern. I'm more interested in just why you and your ridiculous headgear have been following me around all day. Do you have an answer for that?" He grabbed her by the back of the hair, and pulled her face up to look at his. "I'd prefer an answer as soon as possible, so I can minimise the amount of contact made with your disgusting body."

There was only one way the woman knew she could respond to this and that way landed directly on the suspected Yakuza's forehead. "Why would I tell you anything, asshole? You won't get anything out of the Phoenix."

The man actually audibly growled, like a feral wolf, as he slammed her head into the asphalt. She felt her nose break as blood streamed from it onto the road. It was probably one of the lesser injuries she had incurred that day. Chisaki got to his feet and produced a spotless handkerchief from his pocket, wiping his face of the hero's saliva. "How childish." His voice was full of pure, deep contempt. "How filthy. Were you never taught manners? Are you mentally deficient? Hmph. Not that I should expect any more from a hero who calls themselves the Phoenix. How cliché." With that, he returned to his kneeling position over her limp body, she practically felt his shadow drop over her as the smell of burning embers filled her nose. Were those sirens she heard? They were faint, but what else could they be? Were they coming in her direction? One ear was completely busted up, so she couldn't tell. Looking up to the man who supposedly went by Overhaul, her peripheral vision severely limited by her complete and total lack of a right eye, she found her mind drifting away to the beginning of the day. When things had seemed oh so simple. When she still had all her limbs and when life had generally been more preferable when contrasted against her current predicament.

When had it all gone so wrong?

---------------------

"So, all I have to do is follow the bugger?" Twenty-three year old Misa Kawajiri enquired into her phone as she took small, meticulous sips from her large Coke, sitting atop a rooftop in the very heart of the city, occasionally reaching into the bag next to her to dig out a fry or two and jam them into her mouth. This was the life, no doubt about it. The young woman, who went by the heroic moniker of the Phoenix, was elated whenever she was sent on surveillance patrols by her agency. Most other pro heroes would consider such work to be beneath them, it mostly consisted of hounding tax evaders, low-rent rank-and-file grunts and conmen, there was almost certainly never a tang of excitement to be found. This was the reason most heroes preferred more interesting work and it was the reason why Kawajiri adored such jobs. For her, it was a chance to slow down, chill out and enjoy life at a bit of a slower pace than usual. She definitely was not above having time to unwind and take things at a more reasonable pace. Of course, today's surveillance was already beginning to sound more interesting. It had started out with monitoring some basement-dwelling Otaku who shared anti-hero sentiments on internet forums, so not exactly a thrill ride there, as evidenced by the fact that Misa had left halfway through to get herself a McDonald's. But her new target, as assigned to her by her employers at the agency…

"His name's Kai Chisaki." Rang the cool, clerical voice of Phoenix's supervisor. "Mid to late twenties, germaphobe. He isn't often seen out and about, instead residing largely in the Shie Hassaikai's compound."

"Hassaiaki?" The hero of the sky's ears perked up at that. "He's Yakuza?"

"As far as we know, yes. We can't trace back any records of a family, except for Kazama Chisaki, his uncle, who was also associated with the organization before his death, although not as a full member."

"Interesting…" The girl pondered. "So, why are we following him, then? The Hassaikai have a good reputation, right?" Her words were slightly muffled as she jammed more fries in her mouth at that moment than was probably reasonable.

"That they do, Phoenix. They're underground. There have been search warrants on the premises before, but nothing suspicious was turned up. They're a Yakuza group in name only right now, nothing worth worrying about. But Chisaki? He's different. You're going to be following him for reasons unrelated to his activity within the clan."

"Oh?" Misa cupped her free ear with her hand so that she could better hear the man on the other end of the phone.

"In short, we have reasons to believe he's been peddling Trigger behind the backs of his bosses. Obviously, I don't need to tell you about that."

She nodded, although that was a tad redundant, considering the voice on the other end could not see her. The experimental drug known for its Quirk-bolstering properties was nothing to trifle with, and it had only grown more popular in recent time. "Why do you think he's doing so?"

"Money, probably. Who knows with these criminal types? The point remains that we have reason to believe he's out and about today. I've sent you an image of him on your phone. Follow him, see what he's up to. When a hermit like him comes out of the woodwork, it can never be good. Not for anybody." And with that, her superior hung up, leaving Misa to her own thoughts. In being left this way, she dug her knees up tucked under her chin and sulked for a bit, confident that nobody could see her act in such a childish manner, taking the odd glance at the image. He was a shockingly handsome young fellow, with sharp yellow eyes, ruffled brown hair and a suit, he looked the part of any well-meaning businessman. The only weird aspect was the steampunk-esque plague doctor mask clamped around his mouth. She shrugged it off as probably having something to do with his Quirk, whatever that was.

"This sucks." She groaned as she reached for her helmet, which mostly served as a fancy shell to hold the visor that shielded her eyes from the wind. "I don't wanna have to pursue Yakuza drug dealers, it's just no good. Give me a fat, tinfoil hat loser ranting about conspiracies any day. Surveillance is supposed to be a break from the hard stuff. But nooo, it just has to be more of it, doesn't it?" She sighed, the air whistling over her lips, as she tossed aside her empty bag. Stretching upwards, allowing her skintight suit to hug her body, she felt her wings extend from her body. It was always a glorious sensation to be felt, the pure rush of it all. She adored it beyond belief, the best part of the job. With a cheeky grin, the young hero spread her arms…

… And let herself fall from the building's roof.

---------------------

Filthy. The very lot of them, surrounded by filth and dirt and all manner of unpleasantries. It was enough to break young Kai Chisaki out in hives, it truly was. Absolutely repulsive. How horrendous to have to walk amongst the common people, all of them no doubt inflicted with that despicable illness. As he made his way down the crowded high street, bumping into the occasional commuter, he felt the irresistible urge to lift up the sleeve of his green coat and scratch at the lumps on his arm. Urgh. The very lot of them, disgusting. He was rapidly remembering why he vastly preferred to remain indoors. And yet, he had to do this. He couldn't entrust mere goons with carrying out the mission, not even the Eight Precepts of Death. This had to be done by him and him alone. He felt the cold metal rub against his stomach from the inside pocket of his coat. What depraved things that guns were. Alas, they were a necessary evil, and still far better than Quirks. As he walked, he had no clue of the eyes following him as he did so. Misa Kawajiri worked fast and had found him in mere minutes. Was he aware of this, he would almost have applauded her.

Key word: Almost.

"He's carrying some sort of briefcase..." The girl noted to herself as she watched him. Luckily, his mask made him very distinctive for anyone who may be looking for him, so she had not had much trouble. "Is that relevant to whatever he's up to?" The questions were racing through her head in spite of her better judgement. She couldn't help but wonder about the good-looking, well-dressed young fellow with Yakuza ties. It was all so odd to her, and new. She didn't often run into anything so… exciting, was probably the word. And normally, Phoenix abhorred exciting. But something about it just seemed alluring. Maybe it was more the man than the danger, who really knew? Certainly not her.

…

DAMN.

Wrapped up in her own little thoughts, Kawajiri had lost Chisaki. He had seeped into the crowd. That wasn't good, not good at all. Not even wasting a second, Misa once again extended her wings and took off into the air, in search of the fellow she was shadowing. Stupid Misa, she cursed herself. How had she been so stupid? She really needed to focus more. Her eyes scanned the surroundings as she flew over an alleyway that served as a gap between two buildings.

And in that very alleyway, Kai Chisaki now stood, facing a triage. They were common street thugs, Overhaul had done his research. Nothing big, they were unheard of, just worthless druggies with not a thing to their names and a whole heap of desperation for power, power that they had no clue what to do with. In other words, the perfect suckers to lure in.

"Gentlemen." The distinguished Yakuza bowed. The goons showed no such respect in return. Was it really so hard to show the baseline politeness required of a person? These kinds of people pissed him off the most. Fortunately, the mask obstructed his grimace as he set the silver case on the ground and entered in a combination. A few seconds passed and then it clicked open. "Here's your bloody Trigger. Ten vials, enough to give the three of you a bolster in your path- In your Quirks for up to forty-eight hours. If you have any questions, I would advise you ask now."

The thugs all shared looks with one another. They appeared satisfied at the very least, yet the one in the middle, a big guy with muscles to rival All Might- Well, the former All Might- seemed incredulous to some degree.

"So, what yer tellin' us, Chisaki-"

"I would prefer if you called me Overhaul."

"-Right. Sorry." His accent was just thick enough to get under the Yakuza's skin. "Yer sayin' that we don' hafta pay for any of this?"

To this, Kai shrugged. "Consider it a first-time buyer's guarantee. If you want more later down the line, that's when you'll have to start paying me. Otherwise, take it." He kicked the briefcase, sending it sliding towards the men. "It's all yours." For a moment, it seemed like the huge guy was about to protest, but at looking at the vials, his greed got the better of him, and he allowed a wide grin to overcome his face, no doubt imagining what his improved Quirk would be like. Disgusting animal.

"Pleasure doin' business with ya, Mr. Overhaul." He gloated as he picked up the case, his cronies hovering around him as they sneaked looks at the drug. Now was probably the best time to strike, while they were blinded by their own pathetic delusions of grandeur.

"Likewise." Chisaki responded, reaching into his coat, as if trying to find a cigarette. "Say, you three, have you ever wondered what society would be like without Quirks? How far we could have advanced by now if we hadn't had to restart everything to accommodate the idea of superpowers?" The men stared at him like he was mad, which was to be expected. "It's just something I've been thinking about." He admitted as he pulled the gun from his coat and aimed it squarely at the large man's head. "Let's test it out. You'll survive, of course."

"What the fuck?" The scumbag growled as he dropped the case in shock. "You pullin' a gun on us? Guess what, you skinny prick? It's three on one. Shoulda thought about that before pullin' a betrayal!"

"Probably." Kai noted nonchalantly as he took aim and fired.

The bullet ricocheted up against a wall in the alley as the metallic weapon was knocked from his hand by a kick. And not a kick from one of the steroided-up goons. No, one aimed from above.

"Looks like I caught you boys in the act." Phoenix grinned as she stood, legs firmly apart, eying up Kai. "Trying to betray the dudes you're selling drugs to really isn't a great idea, I must add."

…

Filthy…

Sickening….

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??!!" Kai Chisaki screamed, his voice carrying high up into the sky as he stared down the hero, his pupils small and mad in their sockets. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME??!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU??!!" He was completely enraged, sweat pouring from his forehead as he grasped at his hair. "DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING!!" He appeared to be on the receiving end of a full-on breakdown. All this over being kicked in the hand? No, it couldn't just be that. Already, the receivers of the Trigger had fled, stolen briefcase in hand. It really had been their lucky day.

"Woah, calm down, Chisaki-"

"Who gave you the right to call me that?!" He demanded, his voice slightly softer now. "And do you have any idea how difficult those bullets were to manufacture? I simply cannot afford to waste them!" Turning his back on Kawajiri, he picked up the gun, examining it for damages, and then wiped it clean with his white surgical gloves.

"Hey, creep! Stay right where you are!" Misa was petrified. She truly was. Something about this guy just was not right at all. She had been told he was a major germaphobe, but was it this bad? Enough to push him into insanity at a moment's touch? "You're under arrest for possession distribution of illegal narcotics." She was basically reading off the rulebook, saying what she was supposed to say in such situations. But nothing about this felt normal. Why was he so focused on the gun? "Stand down and await for police transport."

"You think I would heed such commands from a filthy piece of scum like yourself?" Suddenly, Kai was cool, clinical, yet again as he calmly pointed the gun in her direction. Phoenix nearly felt her heart stop. "Maybe you'll make a better test subject." His finger tightened on the trigger of the handgun. Misa had no time to think, no time to plan.

She simply ran forwards, charging the villain as he steadied his aim. Another loud bang echoed from the gun. She felt it tear her suit as it whizzed past her, but she managed to just barely evade it. Now, she was too full of adrenaline to stop, as she ploughed towards Chisaki. As she drew closer, she reached out, grabbing for his arm… She had to restrain him and fast.

"DON'T LAY YOUR FILTH-ENCRUSTED FINGERS ON ME FOR EVEN A SECOND!!" Overhaul yelled, back to unconcealed rage, as he slammed his hand down onto the ground. From nowhere, burst large columns of rock from beneath the concrete, sending the heroine flying back a few inches and separating the two.

"Woah..." Was this his Quirk? She hadn't seen anything like it before. The rock wall stretched all the way up, totally shielding the Yakuza from her. It twisted up into the blue sky, as far as the eye could see. And then, she heard his voice, once again calm, from the other side.

"You made me use my Quirk." The man stated. "I hate this thing, but you left me with no other option. For that, I truly do feel some sort of hatred for you. So, I suppose I really feel no guilt in using you as my little guinea pig." Then, he fell silent again, as Phoenix paced around, trying to look for some sort of opening in the wall. Suddenly, she heard a rush of wind behind her and snapped around her head just fast enough to see Overhaul rushing at her. Now, Kawajiri had no clue just what his Quirk did yet, but she figured letting him touch her was a bad idea, so she took off into the air, hovering out of his reach.

"So, a flight Quirk, eh?" Chisaki sighed. His hair was ruffled, the purple fur on his coat torn in places and his bleach white tie flicking wildly with the motion from his rapid movements. "I must admit, I've never been great with moving targets." Once again, the pistol was out, pointed at her. No, she shouldn't panic. Judging from earlier, whatever bullets he loaded the thing with were very precious and so, he wouldn't waste them unless he knew there was a guaranteed chance of hitting her. She was safe for now.

She realized she had been foolish to think that even as the spiked column of rock dug itself up from the ground and impaled her right through the stomach, sending her back, right out of the alley and into the streets outside. She heard a scream as she slammed into a car, feeling the metal crunch behind her. Her vision was hazy, like that of a drunk, but she could still make out the suited villain walking slowly towards her as civilians fled the area. Well, all except for one man, who clearly realized that Kai was up to no good and tried to charge him. Without even looking in his direction, his gaze fixed on Misa, Overhaul's arm made contact with the brave man's chest and he exploded into nothingness.

"What the hell?!" Phoenix yelled. She felt like throwing up at the man's remains splattered the asphalt So this Quirk… It could erect pillars of rock, reduce humans to nothing, what was it exactly? She couldn't even think straight in her current state to try to decipher the answer.

"Isn't it kind of weird how people always try to act the hero? I've noticed that. I swear, this world has been poisoned beyond belief. Can I even cure it? Is that possible?" She felt cold metal as the bastard jammed the gun into her gaping mouth. "All I know is that I can try my very best. Starting here. You'll be my first patient, my girl. The first to be cured."

"Bite me." She hissed as she aimed a kick at his side, which somehow connected, winding the Yakuza just long enough for Misa to stagger to her feet. It felt like she had multiple broken ribs. Those could wait. "I think I get your shtick now. You think Quirks are disgusting or something, right? Yeah, just like any of those Creature Rejection Clan nutjobs. But you think you can bring an end to them, right?" She coughed up some blood onto her fist as she held Chisaki's gaze. "Well, think again, dickwad. You really think that you're some great saviour. I dunno what you have planned, but it sure as hell won't be anything that won't see you crushed like the pathetic little man you are!" And with that, she took flight again, aiming a kick at his head.

Before she even knew it, another column had travelled right through her left eye with a fleshy squealtch, blood coating the rock as she hurtled backwards, her fall stopped by a large vehicle that the rock pinned her to.

"Jesus… That it?" She spat, as Kai approached her yet again, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Then, he stepped backwards. Then again. Then, he spun around and started walking away. Misa was completely taken aback. "What?! You just leaving, you limp-dicked bastard? That ain't how a saviour acts, is it? Running away from a fight?" Her attempts at provocation did nothing to stop him and when the young woman tilted her head just a little, she saw why.

"Ah-" She started, before the oil tanker she had been pinned to exploded. The shockwave could be felt for blocks to come, glass shattered from the skyscrapers above as the world was thrown upside down. Everything went white for Misa Kawajiri, then black.

---------------------

Damn. That really had escalated quickly. And now, the pro hero lay, amongst the rubble, with one eye, a busted ear, no legs and a stump of an arm. The Yakuza stood above her.

"I'll be willing to overlook your blatant lack of manners." Overhaul growled as he resumed his kneeling position. "In fact, I'll let you be saved. I'll be the one to save you. Isn't that something? A sickening power-infected freak like you, given a second chance by a humble Yakuza. And after everything you've done to me. You have been one hell of an annoyance. But, I guess you'll have started to make it up to me if Eri's little bullets end up working." The girl felt metal press into her side. Why was he so eager to shoot her? It must have something to do with whatever he was planning. The last thing Misa Kawajiri heard was the crack of a gunshot, the last thing she felt was the pain of the bullet entering her body, and then, she fell still. A second or two passed before Kai hovered his hand over her head.

"All going well, you have been deprived of your filthy Quirk." He noted, more to himself as the hero was now deeply unconscious. "Now, just to fix you up." He pushed his hand down on her and the woman's body blew apart in a spectacular show of blood and gore. Just a few seconds later, it reassembled, all limbs, eyes and anything else re-attached. With a satisfied nod, the man got to his feet.

"You'll live peacefully for the rest of your days." He told her, turning his back on her and walking away from the destruction that lay sprawled out like the play area of a particularly deranged and angry child, as if it had just been another day at the office, adjusting his tie. "No Quirk, no heroics, no excitement. I hope you're cut out for a desk job, Phoenix. It's all you have in your future. You're welcome."

#bnha manga #bnha #bnha oc #kai chisaki #Overhaul #drama #fanfiction #anime #shie hassaikai #non romantic

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thewebcomicsreview · 5 years ago

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So I want to be a writer, which I imagine is half the job of any webcomic creator. I’m big into fantasy, sci-fi, and horror: some of my favorite authors are Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, and Ray Bradbury, to name a few. The problem is, every time I read a story by them, I always get depressed, because their ideas always seem so original, and they make my ideas seem derivative. Do you have any advice for how I can come up with more original ideas, or become a better writer overall? Thank you so much

If there’s one big epiphany I’ve made in my time as a critic and a writer, it’s that ideas are over-rated. Here are a few free ones off the top of my head.

1. A Saturday morning cartoon villain goes back in time to win the Trojan War for the Trojans in the hope of winning the favor of the gods.

2. A rabbit with a degenerative eye condition sets out on a quest for the legendary carrot of eyesight in a coming of age reflection on dealing with loss.

3. Space explorers land on a distant planet and are startled to discover that Thomas Jefferson is alive there.

4. A “Space Western”, but backwards, with a bunch of scientists exploring the old west and encountering Star Trek anomalies.

5. A race of giant robots breeds humans to fight monsters for them

6. An undercover gynecologist solves a murder mystery

7. A bunch of teens are trapped on a boat and the only way out is to kill one of their friends

8. “Cheers” but it’s the Mos Eisley Cantina

9. An amnesiac searching for his true identity wants to go where everybody knows his name

10. Moses accidentally comes down with the bill of rights instead of the ten commandments, establishing a new religion who oppress people who want to let soldiers quarter in their house

I came up with these ideas through a time-honored method of just starting to write stuff down and continuing to write even if the words I was writing didn’t make much sense, then cleaned it up a little. You can even see the thread of logic connecting “Space western, but backwards” to “Giant Robot, but backwards” and from “Robots breed humans” to “gynecologist”. If you just force yourself to put pencil to paper and keep moving it without thinking about if the ideas are any good or not, you’ll have tons of ideas and thenn you can look at it the next day with a fresh mind and pick your favorites”.

“But Daniel”, I hear you say “Those ideas suck”. To which I respond “So do ‘A space spider pretends to be a sewer clown’ and ‘A hotel makes you evil and coincidentally your son is a wizard’, and ‘what if the guy who makes dreams is an asshole’“. What makes these ideas good isn’t that they’re good ideas, it’s that they’re executed very well. They’re explored, they’re edited, they’re rewritten, they’re polished, and bam, everyone goes wow Neil Gaiman how do you have such great ideas.

If you go back and look at those stupid ideas, all of which I made up just now, you start to see how there’s potential in a lot of them, you just got to give it a little thought. Let’s go through a few.

A rabbit with a degenerative eye condition sets out on a quest for the legendary carrot of eyesight in a coming of age reflection on dealing with loss

This one seems closest to a “complete” idea. We’ve got a character, a plot, an implied “there is no carrot” ending, and even a theme. It’s a bummer of a theme, but there are lots of bummery cartoons about adventures.

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For more evidence on why ideas don’t matter as much as execution: I’m not the only one who noticed that Brave Little Story has the same premise and even the same “find master” plot as Toy Story, but Toy Story isn’t really a BLT rip-off because it executes on those ideas differ-did the vacuum just pee?

And since we know the basic structure of the plot and the thing we’re trying to say, the rest of the story starts to write itself. This seems like a great fit for some kind of episodic story, with the rabbit encountering people who are all about to lose something or have already lost it, and are dealing with it in an unhealthy way. Maybe less Brave Little Toaster and more Phantom Tollbooth. Is make “degenerative eye condition” the stakes of a cartoony metaphor a bit too real? Uh....maybe! But that’s one of those questions you answer in down the line, when you’ve got some development of this idea and know where you’re going.

An undercover gynecologist solves a murder mystery

I like the concept of a gynecologist having to go undercover, but part of why it strikes me as funny is because it doesn’t make any god damn sense at all. Why does a gynecologist need to go undercover? Wouldn’t you need to reveal your identity to whoever you’re treating? This idea also feels a little juvenile. If I make a comic entirely based around vagina jokes all my female friends will look at me weird even more than they did when I put a hot pants on a deer. Hm. This idea seems like it really does suck. But instead of throwing it out, let’s go back to the drawing board and write about this idea for a few minutes, see if we can’t salvage it.

A gynecologist is a doctor who deals in birth (and other things, but birth for now). Birth= Creation. A gynecologist is a doctor who creates life....Secretly being a doctor who creates life....

FRANKENSTEIN!

Frankenstein moonlights as a private detective, but steals the body parts of the victims in order to make his monster. That’s an idea that has lots of potential. “It’s elementary, my dear Igor”. Maybe there’s a victim who survives a murder attempt but he’s got just the right arm for Frankenstein kills the dude himself and frames the attempted murderer, or frames an innocent man so that guy will get hanged and Frankenstein can take his legs. And then the cops start getting suspicious so he’s got to keep a low profile but he also needs to steal the crown jewels of England to pay for his experiments. A murder mystery where the detective is secretly committing an entirely unrelated but much worse set of super-crimes. There’s all sorts of plot potential there! Now I want to write this comic because it sounds awesome. Holy hell! Maybe there’s a case where the solution is that the victim faked their death and the police commissioner can go “But how can Mr. Victim be behind it? He’s dead??” and Detective Frankenstein can be all “On the contrary, he’s alive! He’s aliiiiiiive!” Aw man. Man, that undercover gynecologist idea seemed so terrible but with just a little change in perspective it’s suddenly totally rad.

“Cheers” but it’s the Mos Eisley Cantina

Obviously you have to file off the trademarked stuff but if you can’t see the story potential about a slice of life comedy in a bar full of weird broke space mobsters I don’t really know what to tell you. Maybe it can even be the framing device for all the other stories, and one of the patrons is a blind rabbit and one is Detective Frankenstein and then Detective Frankenstein has to fight a monster for the giant robot people! Because it’s Detective Frankenstein in space! Robot Space! Aw man, you could write like fifty stories easy off this premise and all you have to do is cut out all but the best six or so and polish them up a little and you’re an Image comic winning Hugo Awards!

#DETECTIVE FRANKENSTEIN #Advice #Detective Frankenstein meets Ambassador Battle Crab #Anonymous

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Loud House Reviews: Racing Hearts

Welcome back errbody. Continuing the Salauna trilogy with Racing Hearts. We’ve already seen the cute asking them out story , now comes the actual first date.. which ITSELF is massively important. Keep in mind even though Nick fully supported L is for Love and the crew put a lot of work into it given how good it turned out, Sam easily still could’ve vanished into Limbo. For it’s first 2 seasons loud house, the show HAD continuity: Once Ronnie Anne and Bobby moved away to set up their spinoff, there was an episode with Lincoln’s friends trying to help him deal with missing her in the first ep giving any of them besides Clyde focus, a trend that would continue, they still showed up via video chat or in person where waranted and there was a full episode about Lincoln’s group of friends trying to help him deal with it... which also reminds me of a smiliar episode of ned’s declassified that was really damn good but unrelated to this... seriously that show is underated and I hope with the Netflix deal it shows up there. Anywho back on the show we’re actually talking about, the show didn’t really have arcs, thigns that carried from episode to episode.. until Season 3. Season 3 is where the show REALLY hit it’s stride, with it now fully being an ensemble show and more continuity injected int, not interfering iwtht he show’s episodic nature but making it feel like events had meaning. Stella was introduced in “White Hare” and later got a full introduction that i’ll no doubt cover with “Be Stella My Heart” and afterwords rather than being forgotten entirely like the show used to do became part of his friend group in their episodes. Lynn SR. was revealed to have quit his office job to work at a restraunt and was working on opening his own, which while only a two episode arc, lead to the opening of Lynn’s table in the finale and it’s stuck around since. And Leni got a job at a clothing store she’s kept since and friends at said job who’ve shown up since. See i’m fine with a show not having heavy duty continuity or serilzation, some shows thrive there but I love it when shows do this: even if it’s not all about plots, things progresing or being followed up on makes the show feel more vibrant and keeps it from stagnation in my book. And as as show with a bunch of girls at dating age, it was invetivible theird’ be recurring romantic arcs, hence Chaz is mentoined as dating Leni, if not given any real focus so far hopefully that’ll change, while Luaan, in this episodes pairing brother, and most importantly Luna got followups on theres. And thus that brings us here to racing hearts,where nick earns the praise they got from l is for love by following up on it and showing in no uncertain terms the two as a blossoming couple. I get to the actual episode under the cut:

We start with Lori being upset the bathroom is being taken up.... and that brings up a small issue I have: .. WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE BATHROOM FOR 10 KIDS. I do assume Lynn Sr and Rita have their own, and that it might be hard to put another one up there for plumbing reasons, but it still seems WEIRD to not have more than one up there or close to the stairs so that it dosen’t take 50 years for 10 children to get ready. And yes I said 10, Lily has a diaper and isn’t potty trained yet and any cleaning up or getting dressed, when needed, falls on Rita or Lynn Sr. But still it’s a LOT to ask for 10 children to share share one bathroom peacefully and it’s only through the power of not wanting to spend an animation budget on it that the bathroom isn’t a constant disaster area. Anyways it’s actually Luna who, to her sister’s shock, is in a facemask getting ready to go to the Royal Woods Astonishing Quest with Sam for their first date. Naturally the other two are excited, and Luna, despite her usual nerves, is actually incredibly stoked and feels it’ll go perfectly.

At any rate, she’s happy and Lynn comes in to kick everyone out to scrape off her callosuses instead of you know... having Lucy leave their room or doing it while she’s not there, butttt that little detail is actually a tell for later so fair play to you. Plus Lucy may just understandably find int gross and Lynn dosen’t trike me as good at picking up after herself. As it turns out to no one’s shock, Lynn was banned last year for being a sore winner and rightfully so as we see in flashback, but she’scome to terms with it... wink. But they agree to leave as the louds need to get over there anyway. Cut to the ASTONISHING QUEST.. which turns out to be a scavenger hunt with admitely a great name. Seriously someone use that. But we see tons of returning charcters including Scootst, Pop Pop and his girlfriend, and...

...........

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I”d apologize for thatbut I feel that way any time I see the little weirners face. Be glad this dosen’t happen every time he shows up. On the bright side he looks as dead inside as I do whenever I find out he’s in an episode, and Zack looks the same amount of dead inside.. probably because he realized a filing cabnet would’ve been a better partner. A review of your choice for the first person to get that reference and send it to me. Thankfully my extesntial dread at seeing a Rusty cameo is lifted when Luna meets up with Sam and the two are awkard dorks together for a second as they figure out what greeting to do, settling on a handshake. It’s fucking precious. We then meet Royal Wood’s Mayor, voiced by Shirley! Now if she’d just show up on Ducktales already. Though hearing her reminds me I should do some Harvey Beaks reviews at some point... anyways, she announces the quest and Clyde and LIncoln make a fist bump while Lori and Leni stare down their parents like their about to start brawling in the streets then and there. What.. what have you guys done to each other over the years at these things? I want to know the history there. Have astonishing quest show up again in another season. I”d also love an Brooklyn Nine Nine style heist episode with this show . Anyways, the rules are laid out: Each team is given an evelope with a clue, standard scavenger hunt contest stuff, and have challenges at each location to complete. The first team to finish wins the key to the city.. er a tiny trophy with you did it on it. Honestly that last one’s better anyway. Anyways after from trashtalk from Scoots and her partner Helen, who seems oddly familliar, we’re off! The first clue is easily figured out by Luna and the two old ladies quickly take advantage of Luna saying it loud where everyone can hear it by heading off: It’s off to Lazer Maze , the local Lazer Tag. The guy there gives them their challenge: They need to get 500 points to get the next clue. Luna takes to it like a fish to water and easily tags Lisa and her friend Darcy... another nice little cameo. And it also shows something I like: not only are all the louds except Lynn, whose banned, and Lily, whose a baby, are competting on their own. And only Lori, who pops back up in a bit and Leni,whose partnered with her are plot relevant, but the episode easily could’ve left them out or used extras for the other teams but wisely decied to instead use characters we’re familiar with. It adds a nice touch that makes this feel like an actual event and make sme wish the show did more townwide events like this. Stars hollow it up. You have a fun character in the mayor, who was hilarious in her one minute here, you have your taylor. Just give her a quirky sidekick and have fun with it. Granted I want every series to have a little gilmore girls in it, but still. Anyways Sam botches it and instead of shooting the golden girls shoots Luna by accient, though by the next cut they have their points, and the lazer tag guy encourages them anyway. Sam apologizes not being good at Laser tag but Luna happily shrugs it off: While she enjoys it it’s not for everyone. Anyways it’s Luna’s turn to be confused while Sam easily figures out the clue: IT’s off to the farm. And if you wanted the exact oppsite of my reaction to a Rusty cameo...

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Yeah while my reactions to Rusty is “Why haven’t you died on the way to your home planet yet?” My reaction to Liam is pure joy. He’s like this generation’s stinky peterson and I love it and has a nice enjoyable personality instead of being my own personal Kahn. Anyways LIam’s challenge is to get Eggs from the chickens. Which Sam does easily.. Luna however is nervous to start despite Sam’s reasssurances.. before totally freaking out. To be fair though, chickens can be downright terrifying. Just look at Poyo

And why yes that is a chicken hell lordd whose also a cyborg bisecting santac lause. And why no, you are’nt getting any more context than that, go read Chew. Anyways theys till have enough eggs to complete the challenge, if now splattered in egg and with Liam disapointed with their shenanigans, but being a professinal about it. Total pro. Anyways, Sam is just as ready to brush it off as Luna, noting farms just aren’t for everyone. I also like this plot in general because while it has the series habit of “thing happens again and again and again then climax” it’s used to flesh sam out a bit. While she is there to be Luna’s love intrest, being a love intrest dosen’t mean a character can’t be good or fleshed out. Just look at tom from star vs the forces of evil for a good example of that. Anyways it’s once again Luna’s turn to figure out the clue and we’re off to Werk It Dance studio.. I gurantee it was going to say twerk it but nick was like “oh honey no. “. The name is just awkward otherwise. Or maybe i’m just old. Also the twins are there. Just a nice thing to note and two characters I THINK are from an episode I haven’t watched yet but read about. Anyways, Luna’s pumped while sam has “oh crapbaskets” written all over her face and quickly does terribly. This one however is .. not as easy to brush of. Not liking going to farms or laser tag is easy, there just things not to do on dates. Not dancing.. is hard when your both musically inclined people whose taste in music is why you met in the first place. While they try to gloss over it, it’s clear this is an issue and worries them both. Moving on you know the drill at this point: Sam gets the clue, Luna dosen’t, we’re off to rock climbing. Sam utterly loves it while Luna is terrified. Moving on We cut to Luna, whose sitting down feeling depressed, aka my natural state these days, when Lori and Leni show up. Lori even gave her a cute backpack for the quest.. that has a leash attached. I’d say it’s a bit extreme but i’m half convinced this happened at some point and is the reason Leni dosen’t wear laces.

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Luna is of course spiraling because it turns out she and Sam don’t have a lot in common. Lori however gives some really good advice: Turns out she and Bobby hit some of the same problems and she just suggest they both try embracing things the other person likes. Even if it dosen’t work, shocker given the episode is far from over yet, it’s not bad advice and I like that in relationsihp based episodes it’s Lori who tends to be the one helping out, having the most experince to deal with that and a, at least by this point early Lori could be a bit TOO asholish sometimes, really solid couple. And if you read this before I apologize because for some reason Tumblr decided to EAT A THIRD OF MY REVIEW FORCING ME TO REWRITE IT. And yes i’m ranting a bit but in my defense I worked hard on this and to have most of it chewed up through no fault of my own pisses me off and thus I needed to rant a bit. Back to the review! So Luna tries Lori’s approach while Lori runs off to find Leni who got off the leash.. again. SHe’s probably just going to sniff some ground, eat the plants,she’ll be finnne Lori. Anyways Luna and Sam go to the local health smoothie shop, the kind of place that is my nightmare for people like me with Orangutan bods but makes sense Sam would be into, and the next challenge is identify what this smoothie is made of. I”ve played this game before: my guesses were fish bones,chicken bones, and dry bones.... seriously the glass was just purred bones. I never bought a smoothie from that guy again.. mostly because someone called the cops. There’s a lesson in that. Luna however spits hers out. IN a break from formula the next activity is for Luna to come sail away, come sail away come sail away with Sam.. whose actually a pretty apt sailor. You can guess the rest. Luna botches it, they still get the clue, yadda yadda time for the sad part. The two have an honest discussion abotu the fact that despite chemstry being there, they seemingly have nothing but their music in common and are diffrent people, with Luna glumly resolving to finish the race as friends and neither being happy. WHelp my heart just broke, next episode. So Mayor SHirley from Community greets the girls at the final challenge: A bake off... because apparently just being the first one there wasn’t good enough... then again i’ve seen far worse rule changes by a far smugger canadian man so i’ll let it slide. Thankfully the universe throws the two a bone: Neither can bake. What follows is a damn adorable scene: The two touch hands and blush over butter, before working in synch.. and Sam then procedes to cause their pie to explode in her face.. I could’ve phrased that better, but Luna giggles at it, Sam playfully tackles her giggling insues and the two end up on the ground, smiling at each other. Also Helen and Scoots win. Who cares. Luna realizes from this that she was an idiot to suggest giving up so soon, and proposes they simply try to find things they like together rather than focusing on their diffrences. Because as a coked out cat who sang a duet with a coked out Paula Abdul once said: If things go wrong we make corrections, to keep things goin in the right directions, try to fight it but i’m telling you jack, it’s uselss opposites attract! By the way the show really dropped the ball not having Luna mention this song titles in one of her song refrence things she does this episode. Anyways the two decide to start dating and then hug. My heart.. it’s too full. We end the episode on the reveal Helen is Lynn, a nice payoff for earlier as Lynn rides off on her elderly partner in crimes scooter into the sunset while Luna and Sam giggle and look on. Like any great love story. And we’re out. Final Thoughts: Okay second time around with this, and it’s a great ep. The repetition hurts it SLIGHTLY, but Sam and Luna’s chemistry helps the episode as does it’s terrific aseop: You don’t have to be exactly alike to love a person, or like the same things.. as long as you connect, and TRY to find things you both enjoy, you’ll be fine. The episodes also helped by plenty of nice little cameos, showing off the series new grasp on continuity, and Lori being Luna’s advisor and Lynn naturally being the douchey rival to them and everyone else. Overall a solid ep that was a natural step forward and set up a good status quo for Sam and Luna. The next ep dosen’t feel as natural a story step, but is still a nice one and the one that insipired me to take the leap and review these eps so join me next time as our faviorite couple bond with some cats and get into some scooby doo door shenanigans with “The Purrrfect Gig” Until then later days.

#the loud house #saluna #sam sharp #luna loud #lincoln loud #lynn sr loud #rita loud #lori loud #lynn loud #leni loud #bobby santiago #scoots #reviews #pride month

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uncloseted · 4 years ago

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1/2

1/2 Hi. I think I could use some help, I'll try to make this short. When I was 14yo (I'm 20 now) I dated a 18yo guy, thank God we were taking it slow and never made things official. Now that I'm older I can see that relash was rlly wrong. He was manipulating, used me to boost his ego, forced me to do things I wasn't comfortable doing and I think although we weren't official, he cheated on me? (more on that later). After a few months of fooling around, I found out something about him that I didn't like and confronted him about it, with the intention of ending that relash. He started begging me not to leave him, asking me tricky questions about the things I had heard of him with the intention of "making me realize" he did nothing wrong, and he even became violent with the person who told me those things, to the point I couldn't break up with him because I was scared. I just stopped answering his texts and calls because I was afraid of even talking to him and eventually he took the hint and suggested we broke up. We decided to stay friends, but that only lasted a few days, because one day, via Facebook Messenger, he suggested we got back together and I rejected him, so he blocked me. Months later, I had to close my Facebook due to harassment (not related to him) and opened a new one. Facebook showed me his profile in 'people you may know' and I decided to peek out of curiosity. Turns out, the moment we broke up, he started uploading photos with his new girlfriend. The descriptions of those pics said the exact same things he used to tell me, and I ain't good a math but I did some calcs and he had to be with her while still being with me lmao. I really didn't care, I was just happy I got rid of him, and I moved on with my life. Some time later I fell head over heels for a guy from my workplace, who I still hold close to my heart. I have trust issues and I am a very private person, especially with my relashs, so I didn't tell anyone about this guy except from like 3 friends. One of them was a girl (that we'll call Anne) who was like a sister to me, and was also friends with my ex. Over the next 2 years I had a relash with this guy, everytime I talked to Anne I used to tell her more details about my relash. Then, one day, I got a text from my ex. He texted me like we were besties and nothing had ever happened between us, like he didn't block me TWICE (yeah, he blocked me from my new Facebook too even though I never tried to reach out to him). I was angry at his nerve and told him so, he realized I was upset and changed his persona from confident and tough as nails to regretful and soft, telling me he was sorry for being so immature all those years before, but excusing his shitty behavior by saying he always "kept an eye on me". Um, wtf? He told me he was always asking stuff about me to Anne, looking out for me. I wanted to know what exactly he knew, but, trying to manipulate me again, he said he would only tell me if I accepted to play a game with him: I could ask him one question if he would ask me one in exchange and so on, and we had to be ttly honest with each other. I really didn't wanna get into his shenanigans but I only had one question (wtf do u exactly know about me, creep?) so I accepted. He asked his question first (dID u fEeL sAd wHeN i bLoCkEd U?) and I asked mine. I thought he maybe knew something about my school stuff and MAYBE that I had been dating someone else. Turns out he knew every. single. detail about my personal life. Not only he KNEW I was with other guy...

2/2 Not only he KNEW I was with other guy. He knew his entire name, the school he attended and every little detail from our relationship and other stuff about my personal life. Every single thing I told Anne, opening my heart to her, she told him. I felt terribly violated. I felt like a dissected frog, open for anyone to see my most inner parts. I felt ashamed, unprotected, sad and angry, all at the same time. I told him what he did was disgusting, to never reach me again or try to "keep an eye on me", and that I would make that job easier for him by getting Anne out of my life. He apologized, said he understood the situation, would respect my wishes, and wished me a happy life. I thought that was it. It took me a while but I got to heal, to feel safe again, although I still have a hard time trusting my friends. But I was wrong. Months later he sent me a Friend Resquest. I was a lil afraid, but tried to calm myself saying he probably just was checking if I was still upset, so I rejected the request and again convinced myself that was really it. But then he sent some girls to take pictures of me during my high school graduation ceremony and recently, his cousin (who was my friend when we were 14 but haven't talked since) texted me. I know that sometimes nostalgia makes you reach out to old friends, but we weren't close at all. Besides, he acted super weird, didn't even try to make small talk or let the convo flow naturally, but went straight for super specific and weird questions: are you studying college? what are you doing with your life? are you in a relationship? I was really weirded out and considered the possibility he may have been asking all those things because my ex asked him to do so, so I kept my answers short and vague, not giving him the info he wanted, and although I def came out as cutting, he kept asking. I tried to still be friendly because I didn't wanna seem paranoid, but I think he realized I wasn't telling him anything over texts, so he asked me to meet again over some beers with his friends on October 27th and that's when I stopped answering. I thought about that strange invitation for a few days until it hit me: October 27th is my ex's birthday. So much about respecting my wishes. I spent the rest of that month really nervous that cousing would try to reach out again, but nothing happened and I started to feel calmed again. Until, in November, he wrote me again, this time asking me if I wanted to go to the beach with his friends. I haven't even bother to open that text. Since them, I've been super paranoid. I know my ex's attacks aren't that consecutive (more like every two years: he contacted me and sent me that friend request when I was 16, hijacked my graduation at 18 and now sends his cousin at 20) but I can't help but think he's always there "keeping an eye on me" and planning his next move. I stopped accepting any friend requests because I'm afraid he will send someone for me, and if someone I already have on my friend list but idk texts me and after some small talks asks me about my life, I get paranoid and ask them why they wanna know and if they have some hidden intentions. Also, there's a mall near his house, and everytime I have to go there to buy something, I feel like crying because I'm afraid I'll stumble with him. I probably sound crazy. Some people may think I'm exaggerating and I should just let my ex stalk me and act all obsessed, but I feel dirty everytime I think about him knowing my personal stuff. It was just so traumatizing the first time. Do you get me? I feel like nobody gets me. Please help me, what can I do? I don't know how to make him stop, I'm tired of living in fear.

Not to start this off with an unrelated thought, but when did Tumblr get rid of its character limit on asks? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it let someone send in a message this long in one ask.

To get to your situation, I can definitely see why this would be a stressful and uncomfortable situation for you. The first thing I would do is to stop interacting with your ex and people related to your ex. You don’t owe his cousin anything. Block both of their numbers, block their social media accounts, etc., and do that for everyone else who’s friends with your ex (or put them on limited profile/create a “close friends” list on social media). Tell all of your friends in no uncertain terms that you don’t want them talking about you to your ex, even if it’s stuff that seems harmless, and cut those people off if they do talk to your ex about you.

The other action you could take is to file a restraining order. If you go down that route, you’ll have to fill out some forms and file them with the court, and then have a hearing with a judge where you explain your situation. Then, you’ll have a second appearance in court where the stalker is present, and you both get the opportunity to explain the situation. The judge will then determine the final order and the conditions of that order. It can be a bit of an involved process, but it may give you some peace of mind.

The last thing I would suggest is going to therapy. It seems like you’ve been through something traumatic, and a mental health professional can help you to work through that and move on from it. There are many options for therapy, both online and in-person. If you have health insurance, your insurance should cover at least some therapy sessions. If not, some therapists provide services on a sliding-scale, and online services like BetterHelp can be less expensive than traditional therapy.

#Anonymous #effys-closet #effys closet

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penninstitute · 5 years ago

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Case #9981121

Statement of Naila Pesti, regarding her old dentist. Original statement given November 21st, 1998.

I've never really liked going to the dentist. It's awkward, right? They have you open your mouth, they stick their tools in, and then they start to talk to you. Like, hello? I have several metal sticks and tools in my mouth right now scraping at my teeth or whatever and you expect me to hold a conversation with you?

At least, it used to be awkward. I prefer a chatty dentist to… this last one I had.

I'd been going to Aspen Dental for the longest time. My dad brought me there as a teenager, and I just kinda, y'know, never really switched to another service. Like, sure, it's kind of a chain, and they try to sell you braces or something every time you go, but it was simple enough and I just never really felt like trying anywhere else?

At least until I moved to Arlington, Ohio, and, uh, there was actually a place right in town that I could go to. It was better than driving about half an hour to go to the dentist when I could just walk five minutes or drive two.

I'll just, uh, get right into it. About three weeks ago I had an appointment with them, and when I went in, the place was practically empty. Bare-bones waiting room, there were like, three uncomfortable chairs tucked against one wall and a shitty, wobbly table with a few old, old magazines sitting on it. There was one receptionist, and she barely even spoke to me, just checked me in and told me the doctor would be out to see me soon.

I sat there for maybe an hour. The receptionist was on the phone for most of it. Barely looked my way. There was nobody else in there except for me. There was no TV, or speakers or anything, so I was just sitting in silence, listening to the receptionist mutter quietly into the phone.

I ended up playing games on my phone for most of the waiting time. Started out at 70%, ended up at like, 22%, it was real bad.

Eventually the doctor came out--Dr. Nabatov, I think his name was? Called me in, smiled at me real creepily.

It was really weird. Like, there was nothing wrong with the smile, from what I could tell, it just didn't… sit right on his face, y'know? Like, it'd be fine on anyone except him, maybe. He seemed like a friendly guy! Maybe he just… smiled too wide, or… I dunno, it seemed like he had too many teeth, which would explain… later.

For the most part, the appointment was fine. I mean, it was standard stuff. Got my teeth cleaned, all that fun boring dentist stuff that everyone fucking hates. Seriously, fuck dentists! I don't want to tell you about my day, and even if I did, I can't, because you're shoving tools in my mouth.

Anyways. Sorry. I'm really bitter about that today, for some reason.

Towards the end, he said he had this extra service they do, just as a little thank you for customers, since supposedly they don't get a lot of business these days.

I should've asked more questions. I was expecting like, free toothpaste or something. He said it was free of charge, and I just kind of… said sure, I should have asked about it at least, I just… I dunno, I was tired, and was hardly paying attention already, I don't know why I agreed.

It's… this next part is a bit fuzzy. I remember the first part very clearly, though.

Dr. Nabatov opened his mouth, and ripped a tooth out.

There was no blood. What there was, however, was a thick, oily black substance that dripped out with the tooth. I couldn't move. I was terrified.

He pressed the tooth into my arm. This is where it all gets fuzzy. It hurt, but it didn't open a wound or anything. One moment, the tooth was pressed up against my skin, the next, it was embedded in it, like it had grown from my arm this entire time.

He did this a few more times until there were about a dozen teeth embedded in my arm. Just jutting out, white and pristine, regular human teeth. His mouth didn't look like he'd ripped any teeth out at all. When he smiled at me again, he beamed, and it looked like there were dozens and dozens of teeth in his mouth, and I'm amazed I didn't vomit right then and there.

He told me to be careful of the "implanting site" and said that the mouth would come in soon, probably two to four weeks. Rolled up his sleeves to show me his arms, which were covered in mouths filled with these teeth. He made them grin at me, told me I should be pleased with the results, this looked to be the best one he'd done all month.

I don't know how I didn't scream. I just stuttered out a numb "thanks", got up, and walked out. Didn't even pay. They didn't charge me.

I ran all the way home and pretty much puked the moment I got inside. I, uh, cut the teeth out of my arm. I don't remember a lot of it. I ended up at the hospital, said I'd had an accident while cooking, I didn't… say anything about the teeth, obviously. What do you even say?

My arm itches, now, more than it hurts. Maybe I'm just paranoid about it, but I'm worried that just taking the teeth out didn't do anything to stop… whatever he did.

I… have the teeth, if you want them. I doubt you do, but I'll… I'll leave them with you anyways. I don't want to look at them again. I should've just thrown them away.

FOLLOW-UP NOTES

- The Dr. Nabatov described in this statement seemingly does not exist. While it was hard to find records due to a lack of a first name, there were no records of a dentist with that last name working in Arlington, Ohio, around the time this statement was given.

- The statement giver supposedly left the teeth with us, but there were no attachments for the case file found in Artifact Storage. I don’t want to know what happened to them, if I’m being honest.

- Additionally, Ms. Pesti could not be reached for a follow-up interview. She was reported missing June 8th, 1999, and has not been seen since.

- While her disappearance would seem unrelated, it is notable that the only thing out of order found in her home after her disappearance, was the fact that a full set of adult human teeth was found sitting on the kitchen table. No blood or viscera attached, just the teeth. I don’t think I want to know what happened there, either.

#statement #9981121 #tma #the magnus archives #body horror

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sifstuff · 4 years ago

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Weight Painting

Note: Please don’t reblog this, I only posted it here because someone requested it and the private link wasn’t working - it’s a WIP and I have like zero time to actually fix it. Thank you. <3

I’ve noticed a lot of people struggle with weight painting, which I empathize with – not understanding weights kept me from making the kind of CC I wanted to make for years! Most CC tutorials don’t really explain much beyond «do a weight transfer», which isn’t always sufficient, so I decided to write up what I do when I weight paint. I’m sure there are ways of doing this that work just as well (and better!), but through copious trial and error, this is what I’ve found works for me.

I’m mostly going to focus on long dresses and gowns (aka 90% of my CC), but a lot of this should be useful for other types of CC as well.

This isn’t going to be a full, detailed guide to weight painting because, honestly, I don’t actually understand Blender that well. I’m also not going to cover meshing, UV maps, basic weight transfers and stuff like that – if you need advice on those things, check out the Sims4Studio forums. :)

I use Blender 2.76 – things might work/look different in other versions!

1. Vertex groups and mesh explosions

Okay, so this was without a doubt my biggest hurdle back in the day. My meshes kept getting all spiky and deformed in game and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why.

Turns out vertex groups are, like, really important. This is probably obvious to a lot of people, but it took me about two years to figure out, so I’m gonna talk about it.

Your mesh needs to have the same vertex groups as the base mesh you’re cloning, and not all EA meshes use the same ones. If you’re doing a weight transfer from the mesh you originally cloned, this shouldn’t be a problem. Most tutorials will tell you to clone an EA package that’s as similar to yours as possible, and this is a huge part of the reason for that.

However, I don’t do that! This is because I don’t want to use too many mesh cuts (for a guide to mesh cuts, look at this Sims4Studio guide) because they confuse me. In fact, I clone 99% of my dresses from the base game chemise so that they’ll be both base game compatible and only use one mesh cut.

Now, the chemise looks nothing like a gown, so if I was going to do a weight transfer from that for a long dress, it... wouldn’t work. That means I have to use something else, and that means paying attention to vertex groups. Let me explain why.

If you export the chemise and open it in Blender, you can see the list of vertex groups on the right. If you try to import a mesh that has additional vertex groups into your package, you’ll get distortions and weird spikes in-game. Most notably when it comes to making long dresses, the chemise does not have Skirt, Foot or Toe bones, but most of EA’s long dresses use one or more of these. So, for instance, if you do a weight transfer from this Holiday Celebration gown:

And import the mesh into a package cloned from the chemise...

Your result will be something like this:

This is because these vertex groups don’t exist in the original cloned mesh:

The easiest way to avoid this is, as I already mentioned, cloning and doing you weight transfer from the same mesh. A lot of the time, that’s going to work just fine. As I also said, though, I don’t do that. So what do I do instead?

2. How to manually fix weights

This is the dress I want to weight paint. My .package file is cloned from EA’s chemise. As you can see, they look nothing alike.

Now, I’ve been doing this for a while, so I already have an old piece of CC that I can do a weight transfer from that’s not going to have any vertex group issues (full disclosure: all my skirt weights these days are transferred from my Hannah dress and then adjusted slightly). For the purposes of this guide, however, that’s not how I’m doing it.

The first thing I’ll do is separate the dress from the body so I don’t mess up any weights unnecessarily. Then I’m going to split the mesh one more time so that I can do individual weight transfers for the top and the skirt.

I do this because it’s usually really hard to find a mesh to do a transfer from that’s similar enough to both parts to give a good result, and since I’m aware of what vertex groups I can use, this isn’t going to be a problem. Sidenote: I also recommend splitting meshes like this for UV1 transfers.

Next, I need to find base meshes to do weight transfers from. For the top, I almost always use this base game sweater because, in my experience, it works for almost anything:

Finding a long dress or skirt is harder, though. I don’t want to use the Skirt, Foot or Toe bones, but just about all EA meshes use them. So what I’m going to do is find a mesh that uses them anyway and then manually remove them.

Note: If you’re completely new to weight painting, you’re going to be much better off finding meshes that use the same bones/vertex groups! I’m doing it this way to demonstrate manual weight painting and editing in general, not the most efficient way of weight painting this particular dress.

I’m going to use the long gown from the Holiday Celebration pack because the skirt has a similar-ish shape.

Let’s take a look at the vertex groups in Blender. This has a lot of bones that I don’t want, but okay!

The next step is to do weight transfers as usual, which I’m assuming I don’t need to cover. Merge the mesh back together (if you split it), and let’s talk about the most important, magical, amazing button in all of weight painting. That’s this one:

See, The Sims 4 only allows vertices to be attached to 4 bones and automatically limits them if there are too many. This can result in weird deformations and spikyness in-game. However, Blender’s «Limit Total» button will, well, limit the number of bones per vertex for you. You can do this manually as well, of course, but I very, very rarely feel the need to. Generally, using this tool regularly during weight painting will fix SO MANY problems. Click it immediately, and keep clicking it every so often.

Next, I’ll pose the rig so I can see what the mesh is going to look like when it moves. This looks pretty good right now, but of course, it’s not going to look like this in-game because it has too many bones. It also looks pretty jagged and doesn’t move very smoothly.

Let’s start with the vertex groups. What I’m going to do next is straight up delete the groups I don’t want. In this case, that would be the Skirt, Foot and Toe bones – compare it to the vertex groups in your cloned mesh if you’re not sure.

Then hit «Normalize All». We just removed a bunch of weights without replacing them with anything, which will result in a whole bunch of weirdness and deformations. Normalizing the weights will automatically make sure all the vertices have the right values to work properly.

Once I’ve got that sorted out, it’s time to do the actual painting. In this case, what I want to do is smooth out some of the jaggedness and fix some spikes that have appeared.

In this case, there appears to be a problem with the left calf. The bone related to this is named, appropriately, enough, b_L_Calf. By clicking this vertex group in Weight Paint mode, we get an view of how the weights are painted on the bone.

Note: All the vertex groups are quite reasonably named. If there’s a problem with the shoulders, for instance, the b_L/R_ShoulderTwist bones are most likely the ones that needs fixing.

Dark blue means the vertexes aren’t weighted to the bone, red means they’re heavily weighted to it. In the image above, it looks like the weird spike should be moving with the rest of the calf, but it’s hasn’t been painted to do so.

There are a couple of ways to fix this, the easiest of which is probably using the «Add» Weight Painting Tool. The exact settings aren’t super important and fairly intuitive, so go ahead and play around with them. Make sure Auto-Normalize is active, though. Then use the tool on the offending vertex, and the weird spike disappears.

The Blur tool is by far the one I use most, though, and it works great for things like this as well. It gives you less precise control than the Add/Subtract tools, though, so it’s mostly a matter of preference.

My next step is going to be smoothing out some jagged edges with the Blur tool, starting with the upper thigh area, which has some spikyness going on.

Note: The mesh I weight transferred from doesn’t use the Thigh bones at all, so with the Skirt bone gone, the skirt is purely weighted to the ThighTwist and Calf bones. This is how I weight paint long, flowy dresses as well. These types of meshes don’t really require a precise distinction between the Thigh and ThighTwist bones, and it’s easier to weight paint two vertex groups than three. Tighter and shorter dresses generally require using all three, though.

To make sure you don’t accidentally start weight painting the arms or unrelated parts of the mesh, you can select the part of the mesh you want to focus on in Edit mode and activate Face selection masking for painting by clicking the tiny red/white cube at the bottom of the screen in Weight Paint mode.

So, back to the actual weight painting – once you understand the basics, it’s really not that hard. Here, I’ve selected the different bones on the leg (b_R_ThighTwist, b_R_Calf b_Pelvis near the top) and gone over them with the Blur tool, and it looks much smoother already.

The next step is to do this, well, everywhere! This involves moving the rig into different positions to see how the mesh moves and rigorous use of the «Limit Total» button to make sure what I see in Blender is what I’m going to see in-game.

I’m not going to give a step-by-step guide here because it’s basically just the same steps over and over until I get a result I’m happy with – using the Add, Subtract and Blur tools on the appropriate vertex groups where I want to fix something, and hitting Limit Total a. lot.

Once I’m happy with how it looks in Blender, I’m going to import my mesh into Sims4Studio and test it in-game...

Aaaand we have a working dress. :)

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lickstynine · 5 years ago

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blog-unrelated personal rant under the cut

so I just found out that my sister like... hates me? not like thinks I’m annoying, like hates me.

I was looking on my mom’s Google Drive, trying to find a decent photo of myself cause I didn’t have any on my own phone, and while I was sifting through her files I found a doc my sister had shared with her.

and the whole thing was like a literally three or four page rant about all the reasons she can’t stand me as a person and doesn’t like having me around. and some of them are valid flaws that I’m fully aware I have and can understand why people would hate and that I know I should work on. (including but not limited to being lazy and having bad time management)

she thinks I’m insanely rude and a raging asshole in general, and like, I do use insult humour a lot, but it’s usually a back-and-forth thing. like, I like to trade barbs, absolutely, but not because I’m trying to be mean. I can take what I can dish out, and I try to be nicer with her anyway because she’s fussier than my mom, who I can just banter with shamelessly. and I am cynical/pessimistic, but it’s just in the casually nihilistic way that late millennials to gen Zs tend to talk.

also she brought up something I said a while back about no longer really associating with the person I was in high school (which is true, I struggle to even remember half of high school because of how distant and foreign it seems now) and how I hated how I acted when I was younger but I think I’ve improved. and to quote her words as best I can remember them “he’s improved, but it’s like a $15.99 t-shirt going on sale for $15.98.” which, great insult actually, pretty hilarious, but I feel like I’ve changed a lot in the last four years, being more responsible and open and friendly to the family and generally less bitter, but apparently not?

she resents me for getting what she feels to be preferential treatment from our parents. which is valid in some ways. they do try to accommodate me a lot. and as the older kid, I did get a lot of things first (though as any older sibling knows, I also opened a LOT of doors for her in the process). but here’s the problem: THEY ACCOMMODATE MY PROBLEMS BECAUSE I ASK THEM TO. SHE DOESN’T DO THAT. she refuses to actually try to bring her issues up with the parents, stuff like queerness and mental health, even though I’ve told her that 1. they supported me in those areas, they’ll support you, too, and 2. I’ll fucking back you up if they try to be unsupportive. but no, she’d rather not ask for support but resent me for being supported.

she also hates me for moving back home (I didn’t ever fully move out, I was just away for college until this semester) because even before the quarantine, she no longer had much time alone and generally hates having me around. and like, I totally get the wanting to be alone thing, but like... hang out in your room? I’m useful to our parents and they fully endorse the idea of me living with them for a while to save up money. you wanting to be a hermit doesn’t make me an asshole.

and then there’s some real petty bullshit too. like, she hates that I’ve gotten into musicals because she doesn’t want me to like the same things as her. one because that’s “her thing” (which, fuck right off, it’s a whole genre of entertainment that I have every right to enjoy), and two because having a shared interest gives me more reason to talk to her and, as I said, she hates me.

I’m just dumping this all here because she’s on my “close friends” list on instagram so this is literally my only safe place to rant without her knowing something’s up. I can’t just bring it up to her because I basically intruded on a private conversation by reading the doc (which wasn’t intentional, based on the thumbnail, I actually thought it was a different file that had simply had its name changed), but how the fuck am I supposed to behave now that I know all this?

I seriously don’t know what to do. like, I’m not a lovey-dovey type by any stretch of the imagination, but I do show affection in my own ways. I share food I make, or bring her something if I get food while I’m out. if I see something when I’m out shopping that I think she’d like, I buy it for her, with no expectation of anything in return. I know that sounds materialistic, but because I’m not physically or verbally affectionate, I try to show it by being like “here I brought you a thing I know you will enjoy”. and I don’t know if that’s not coming across to her or if she just doesn’t care.

another way I try to be friendly/affectionate is bringing Turtle (my rabbit) to say hi whenever I have him out. I also like to let her bring him treats, because he always gets very excited and she seems to like it, too. and I don’t know if I should keep doing that??? like, I’m sure she genuinely likes him, everyone does, but I’m wondering if she actually hates dealing with him because he comes with me.

I’m also a little baffled cause she can be snippy/frosty with me sometimes, but in general, we have frequent, friendly conversation. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt by the idea that she actually spends all of the time we talk desperately waiting for me to go away already. I can’t just stop talking to her entirely, either, that’d be weird and obvious. but I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do or say now.

also we exchange memes regularly. like, her sending them to me as much as I send them to her. so I don’t know how to feel about that? ugh

I can’t even say I wish I didn’t know because the longer I went not knowing the worse finding out would be. but I wish I knew what to do or how to react.

if you read all the way through this, bless you. I just needed somewhere to vent, so don’t feel like you need to send sympathy or anything.

#j rambles #j rants #personal drama

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