#if it was hindering ppl in some way
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whenever the voice in my head starts yapping that I’m a horrible writer I just have to think “and if you are??? SO? why would that matter?” then I imagine me and my psyche looking at each other like this when we can’t come up with anything
#posts that reek of mento illness#it’s valid to feel that way of course. writing is important to me which is why I get insecure sometimes#but it’s ok to be bad at things. and at your hobbies. you’re just supposed to enjoy them#comparing and punishing yourself only hinders you. it hurts you!#*grabs your shoulders* YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE BAD AT THINGS. and half the time you aren’t BAD. you just aren’t as advanced as the ppl you’re#comparing yourself to. some of these writers have been at it for decades !!! PULL URSELF TOGETHER !#there is someone out there who looks at you like that
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🦋
#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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Every planet in the 12th: Observations
The 12th house shows you in which ways you can leave the biggest impact on the world in the purest most intentional way if you so choose.
*I didn't feel like proof reading spare me*
sun in the 12th often misperceived or seen as having underlining motives even when that is furthest from the truth. Actually quite often upfront with their intentions regardless if they know more than they've led you to believe. The projection others put on them is veryyy high, sun person unconsciously triggering deep seated wounds in others while they just assume they’re having a normal conversation. They either love gossip or are always being brought up in gossip. Attracting secret admirers bc of the taboo aspect of their personality. They teach others how to be themselves through example and that gives them the popular loner vibe, everyone wants to know whats going on in their life. Though Its often not as interesting as the stories that are being created about them (probably at home chilling). Unintentionally very funny their light hearted nature makes others feel comfortable. They know how to create warm welcomes. They can read animals minds. They dress how they feel. Escape artist. Probably through music, film or imagination. Gift for photography.
moon in 12th romantic relationships have a big influence on these people. They'll change their whole life around to fit into their lovers life for better or worse. Naturally harmonious these people are seemingly unsuspecting until you piss them off then you realize they just choose to keep peace. Prone to escapism usually through some sort of creative pursuit turned business. Obviously not forward with their feelings ppl tend to label them as having their head in the clouds when in reality they have plans its just nobody else's business. There's a love/resentful relationship with the mother. The mother could've been a physical provider but not emotional. These ppl had to nurture and comfort themselves and it made them very good at being those things for others. Children and animals loveeeee them. They are givers and don't mind sharing for the greater good. Dependable and persistent they can stick out something they feel is important. But if they don't care... Oh its very obvious. That job they don't like? Oh don't even worry about it they'll quit. They don't like feeling stressed or unharmonious and don't mind removing anything thats trying to hinder that. In the lower natures this creates a person that ignores anything that would make them have to readjust their behavior. Extremely delusional and misreads the room quite often. Very emotional changing how they feel about you frequently. It can become hard to give and receive trust.
Mars in the 12th manifest things/experiences so easy especially through their connections. They know how to put themselves in the right rooms with the right people. They date people that improve their social standing and they do the same in return. When its comes to career they could've seemed like the runt in the group but they grew themselves to be well respected in their field. Often hearing ''you only got this because''. They attract a lot of haters jealous of their success or the way they got their success. these people are attractive and naturally have a body others envy, they always have options and good ones at that.
Venus in 12th boy oh boy the hopeless romantics, but whats so hopeless about it? Others may often wonder why you picked the person you did viewing you as opposites. There may be an age gap or cultural difference. The women often choose partners that have a different social standing or perception than their own. The Men do the same though their more willing to be in relationships with unrequited love. Have had their fair share of infidelity issues until they found the person that would ride or die for them and vise versa. Privacy and trust are high priority for these people. Very good at socializing they know how to read what is needed to improve the energy of a space. Their parties/hostings are always so inviting and rememberable. They work very well with children and animals. Especially those in need. Fostering is something they wouldn't mind doing, along with nursing things back to health. Examples hair, nails. Plants etc. Very crafty they'd create beautiful jewelry and clothing. Their style is unique and acquired taste even. Controlling an image or narrative comes natural these Pol could do damage control for celebrities. When Ppl are in a frantic state they know how to calm assist.
Mercury in 12th are good at controlling the narratives around themselves. People hand on to every word that's said. These are the types that prefer to talk when necessary and not give out to much information. Just enough to keep you hooked. They have a unique sound and are musically inclined it helps that they think outside of the box. Usually the leader of the group because of their ability to see the broader picture and keep everyones best interest at heart. They attract haters bc they set high goals for themselves they get viewed as outlandish or unpractical when actually they just believe in themselves and remain optimistic. They know alot about very specific niche things.
Jupiter in the 12th don't get the credit they deserve for being so iconic. They really are trendsetters that break molds and stereotypes and tend receive backlash for the things they say & do simply because they were the first to do it. Opening up the pathway for others to show up more authentically and protected. They have big expression and are passionate about the things they choose to do. Their not afraid to speak their truth and having a forgiving nature. Creative pursuits are well received by the public attracting sponsors easily. Its also easy for them to find/create a community ppl reall gravitate to them. Their kryptonite lies in their self esteem. If they can't face rejection they'll hide the best parts of themselves. Only seeing the beauty in others and not what they offer the world.
Saturn in the 12th need to know when to stop while their ahead. They get into unnecessary battles bc of a fragile or inflated ego. When the ego is healthy this makes for a very powerful person that commands rooms with ease. They make Pol want to sit up in their chair when they walk in. These Pol are stubborn but more often than not it works out in their favor. Very hard workers and the same energy they apply is expected from those around them. If they put in 80 hrs a week they expect the same from you, if I can do it why can't you mentality. They achieve alot and Ppl notice it but its like no one ever sees them working they just see the finished product and know a lot had to be done behind the scenes. For example let's say someone is very popular you know they would've had to built those relationships you just didn't see it happen. They could have a guilt complex about their achievements and feel like theirs still more they should be doing for other ppl. Growing up as the star, the golden child, the one thats going to help the family put a lot of pressure and responsibility on them. This could've also affected the relationship between the others siblings. Lastly these Ppl are either very serious about punctuality or show up whenever they want to. Maybe even both they could've started out one way and over time became another way. When saturn is damaged they run from responsibility and are viewed as childish and never learning from their lessons.
Neptune in the 12th know how to win over the audience. I chose the word audience bc they love an audience. Ppl will make excuses for their behavior like ''you know they had a rough childhood'' as if that excuses hurting others. Professional sympathy grabbers even when their not even trying and great ass kissers when they want to be. That is in neptunes lower natures ofc. These ppl speak their mind without a fuck given. This is like the only pile im cursing in and that kind of explains them. Their going to say what they want and don't mind shaking the room up. Image is important to them. They'll study their own footage to see what they looked like, sounded like, acted like, and change anything they deem as not fitting. They could be great actors or social media personalities. Also would be good at managing social media accounts. These ppl may be easily persuaded especially by those they view as having a higher social ranking than themselves. Knowing how to adapt to any environment is their strong suit. They act as a mirror in their environment and reflect back whatever energy you give them. To a T at that. They know when to play it up or be more lowkey. This is type of person to always leave lasting impressions on ppl. They could be the first in a taboo field to achieve something. Like being the first pornstar to get 100 million views. Its like when you think you have them figured out they do something else that shows there's many other sides to them. Often hearing ''i didnt think I would like you at first''. With a great sense of humor they know how to laugh at themselves and lighten the mood they don't take life to seriously. They attract a lot of unique ppl their friend group is very expansive. They could be friends with a stripper and an attorney. Hell they might've been a stripper and an attorney.
Uranus in the 12th they just pop up and ppl are surprised like ''omg what are doing here'' these ppl are held in high regard mostly bc their very selective with their energy, your viewed as a busy person so when you come around it makes ppl feel lucky. You treat others fairly and want everyone around you to feel accepted. You value keeping the peace. The fact that I'm even using you instead of they is a reflection of how inclusion is important for you. Having an eccentric vibe is more obvious here but alot of ppl go the opposite way and don't want to appear uniquely at all they actually want to be as plain Jane as possible. This can actually rub ppl the wrong way and make them feel something is being hidden from them like your pretending. Feeling criticized in childhood is why accepting others is something they prioritize. They end up in rooms with many different types of ppl. This placement has a lot of experience in a lot of different areas. With a free spirited nature they are open to trying new things pushing themselves outside of their comfort zone quite often.
Pluto in the 12th, a quiet energy standing in the back of the room scoping out the scenery. They notice more than ppl realize and are smarter than they let on. Often having their power tested bc of their calm observing demeanor. Ppl try to make them feel they don't belong in certain environments or that their not really qualified but they don't mind showing you why that perception isn't accurate. They know how to push back. The type to pretend they don't care about popularity but they work very hard at obtaining it. But maybe they don't care about the popularity just the power that it brings. Knowing the value of relationships they put alot into maintaining them. They are very giving to those around them. Self sacrificing even, its like they believe thats how you show someone you really care. These are some of the most passionate people you'll meet. They just know how to make you feel understood and seen. They make everyone feel special. This is one of the most intense placements for the 12th house. The transformations are deep, murky, confusing but it breeds and very self sufficient determined person. They question everything and are always growing and adapting. When they find something they like they become obsessive about it. They will work for extended amounts at a time. Like binging behavior. In Pluto's lower natures they develop a chip or their shoulder and use their influence to hurt others. If they are operating from that place they become very good at it. If they are never brought into awareness they continue generational curses but their children will have it worse than they did. These are the type of Pol that will tell you a traumatic experience in such a casual way and your just left like wtf you said that like it was normal. They also could've grew up experiencing their traumas being brushed off like they were normal. They were familiar with death from a young age and may have felt like they never really were a child. They build the trust of others easily and its bc their honest. It is what it is to them. They are natural born leaders it doesn't take much convincing & they don't mind leading the way as long as you give them their accolades for it. Mind you they could have a god complex but to be fair if you've experienced or achieved the things they have you might too.
#astrology#12th house#astrology101#astrologyfacts#8th house#astrologyzone#astro notes#astrologychart#pluto astrology#pluto aspects
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☆⋆·˚ ༘ * pick a card disclaimers ೃ🤍⁀➷
pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!
these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3
these are extremely general timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!
╰┈➤ ❝ [.ೃ࿐🀥 ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ- major changes regarding your interpersonal relationships, how you guys interact with people and letting yourself experience new friendships, romantic relationships. I feel like your message here is to let go of what has been holding you down for so long. This energy of not wanting to see the good after you’ve been betrayed. Brighter days are ahead. It’s like the universe wanting you to see your real potential. They want you to see that you are capable of living a joyous life. You’re capable of being happy without feeling guilty or ashamed of yourself. You’re not the only one struggling mentally or in any other way. I feel like your guys are nervous to experience new things again because there’s this feeling of you being like “will this even last?” “Will this eventually be taken away from me like everything else?” I feel like you guys may need to move yourselves out of this period of thinking the same things will always happen. It wont! Especially when we believe and change our mindset surrounding this topic. You guys are being led into a newer direction. Somewhere where you feel you belong. Forming new relationships that’s re healthy and authentic with likeminded people who understand you. Things don’t have to happen so quickly so it’s always good to remember not to push yourself to fit into a mold you know will never work. This major change will lead you to your true calling/purpose, where you will be seen by the right people for you, it really is all for you. But i know we can get stuck in this negative loop or tormenting emotions that confuse us about ourselves. I’d say, what I’m seeing happening for you next is you feeling more hopeful about this new opportunity or just this general change you’re making or should be making for yourself. I also feel like you may be getting into a new partnership with someone. This person seems like they may bring a lot of positive encouragement and helpful advice to broaden your perspective. I feel like you’re going to be celebrating yourself and what you know deep down you were always capable of. You just need to see this fr yourself. That you’re an amazing, strong, independent person that achieve their goals on their own. We don’t really need people, but it’s not good to isolate yourself and hide because of your fears that are hindering you from moving on. I feel like you guys are also being shown that you can put your trust into certain individuals that respect you and wont betray you for their own benefit.] ❞
Affirmation - solar crown → i am decisive and wise. When action is required, i move swiftly with courage. When wisdom is necessary i step carefully with grace. I trust my intuitive wisdom to decide correctly.
╰┈➤ ❝ [.ೃ࿐🀥 ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ-keep on going pile 2! If someone here is feeling like giving up, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT! You seem to be so close to something. It seems like you guys have been working your asses off, to achieve a certain goal, or idea, it’s something that you can’t take your mind off of. The energy is so fast paced, like i just want to get into it, you all seem to be moving in the right direction. Using all the power you have within you to get to this thing of yours. I feel like it may have to do with work of some sort, it doesn’t have to be so extreme, but you’ve been putting in action or you need to put in that action. You have this spirit of persistence and not giving up on this decision. I feel like you guys know where you want to be. But it’s the moving, a lot of passionate energy here, man I don’t even think that this is something you can take your mind off. You’re just aware of what is needed, you shouldn’t hide what power you hold. There’s something about you guys being more in that masculine role, moving towards your purpose, which i feel is the theme of this entire reading, doing what you love to do without feeling ashamed of it. Yes this will take some of your time and have you very busy, but i think you moving and not staying in a stagnant place pumps up your energy. It could even be with building your strength within and outside of you. Taking better care of yourself, knowing your own limits and not falling off because of one setback. I feel like you guys are being shown that it’s okay to show off your talents and gifts. This light within you that you should never really repress, but don’t burn yourself playing with the flames. I feel like you guys really need to keep going, it’s just something about the messages coming out for you that are screaming at me to tell you to keep on moving forward. Leaving the unhinged shit in the past.
“I can heal now and always.” Another message that I’m getting is not pushing yourself to the point of burnout. That���s when it gets tricky, because you put your all into something all at once and then get weird results where you feel not good enough. But you are, you’re enough right now. No, you do not need to be where that other person is, i know working and working will tear you apart. You guys should give yourself a break from time to time to re-collect and realize that your healing journey will never look like or be anyone else’s but yours. It’s time to fight off these distractions and quiet that overthinking mind of yours. You can work and play as well. Don’t take everything so personally, know when it’s you and take yourself out of the equation. I feel like this full moon is helping you to own your full potential and understand that you are also in control of your life. Don’t leave everything up to chance and own your shush! You are an amazing powerful being and i want you to understand this deep down even if you feel different, you are fricking powerful, a goddamn badass! ] ❞
Affirmations - clairvoyant author → i am the author of my story, i am the author of my own narrative. I write the future in myself. I re-script negative self-criticism, and i narrate positive thoughts.
╰┈➤ ❝ [.ೃ࿐🀥 ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ- Right off the bat y’all, i truly feel like there is some sort of competitive, petty, jealous energy that is being projected your way. Either you already know this or you don’t to the fullest extent. But you guys seem so guarded and indifferent to this shit. I’m not sure if it’s one or multiple people projecting this towards you, but you don’t seem to be buying something or someone’s BS! Whatever this is, it’s extremely unhealthy, the energy is wonky and that’s probably how you feel. But this i feel has to do with some sort of relationship. I feel like you don’t want what this person has to offer, or there is an offer but you seem to be skeptical of it. Why do i feel like you’re being pulled in so many different directions, it’s like hard to make a choice. This confusion. I really hope you’re not with someone who’s trying to control you or even manipulate you into something you know is damaging for you. I feel like someone/something can’t let you go, there’s this energy trying to cling onto you. It feels like someone wants to block you from seeing your true potential. Because you are talented at something, you got the tools for whatever this may be, like you’re so fucking close. A chapter has ended, you have to decide if you want to walk away or keep repeating it with other people, but i feel like you already know that you should be taking things more smoothly. You can’t get up and go back playing kickball right after you sprain your ankle. It’s alright for you to rest and look after yourself. I feel like you guys need to let that wall down a little bit and remember the why, the why that made you get up and go after what you want every day even if its small steps. Small steps to creating a better social circle. Finding the right communities for you, engaging with people who get it. You don’t have to force anything or be anything to anyone but your most authentic self and i know we hear it all the time but it’s so true. It’s better to walk around knowing who you are instead of pretending to fit in. You don’t have to mold yourself. I feel like you guys should do some inner self-reflection and talk with yourself, journal, rage draw, whatever you need to do. Even crying, things are pretty intense. But I don’t want you guys to go around letting someone else try to influence you and tell you what to do, its reminding me of a Bret man rock video he was saying something along the line of “don’t tell me what to do BITCH!” lmao. But for real, don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do with your damn life. It’s like they want you confused about who you are as a person. People seriously need to contain this obsessive jealousy and just mind their damn business. I feel like you guys need to be more kinder to yourself and show more compassion towards you! You’re very abundant and have a lot headed your way, i just don’t wanna see you giving up, fuck what people say about you! What gives them the right to try and tell you about yourself, unless you really need the reality check but I don’t think so. I feel like people really want to try this group. Don’t let em, nuh uh uh uh. You’re self sufficient on your own nd you didn’t really need me to tell you that, but i see it. You can take care of your damn self. Fuck the projections and let yourself live. Even if shits not so great, LIVE! Try to put a smile on that face everyday, but also feel your emotions and acknowledge it. I feel like you guys may not feel the love but you are so so loved, pease remember that, and I’ll tell u, i love you! Mwah! ] ❞
Affirmations -
Embrace divinity → i am a loved child of divinity. Reality is a love story written for me. I sit silently and experience the loving embrace from my eternal mother. I store up the words of affirmation of my ageless father. The tender words that spoke my consciousness into existence to become me.
Observatory of the mind → i have a happy heart. Today will be full of joyful moments waiting for me to discover. My gratitude overflows from my inner self to those around me.
Empowering friendships → i select my relationships carefully and invest in them fully. I am the average of the people i spend my time with.
hiiii, hope everyone’s doing well, i know i know, im back lmao, and i didn’t forget about the other PAC, i just wanted to do this first. hope this helps w anything you’ve been going back and forth w, or any kooky energy that you’ve been wondering about, stay safe and don’t let anyone walk all over you! <333
#feistyvirghoe#black tarot readers#pick a card#tarot readings#tarotblr#tarot pac#pac reading#18+ tarot#tarot pick a pile#tarotcommunity#tarot blog#tarot reading#pac tarot#pac#pick a photo#pick a picture#tarot pick a card#full moon#supermoon#full moon in aries#dividers are not mine#pics from pinterest#pick a pile
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I see the way some of you talk about and disregard aroace ppl and I do judge you for it.
The way some of you talk about being aro and ace like it's a curse and how you're so happy that's not you. Or how you will see a post about aroaces ppl and say "ok but x identity instead" as if it's better and aroace is lesser.
The fact I see this from other aspec ppl too... You being a lesser known aspec identity does not mean that punching at aroaces is punching up. We are all just as oppressed. You're just being as asshole for no reason.
Stop acting like aroaces somehow are better off. Stop acting like our existence is hindering yours. Stop throwing us under the bus. It's not every man for himself out here, stop trying to throw us to the wolves to get ahead.
#aro#ace#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#the amount of ppl i see that just shit of aroace ppl from both sides is wild#allos hate us other aspecs hate us like bro....
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why kevjean doesn't work.
i'm sad about it too but hear me out. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk.
look it makes me so sad to say it but kevjean does not work in this universe (i know, this also means it doesn't work, by extension, in any universe, considering jean is dead.) and i need y'all to hear me out on this. everyone theorising that kevjean will be the endgame ship in tsc i hate to break it to u all: not only does that not at all align with anything in canon, but it also would just be a really bad writing decision on nora's part.
LET ME EXPLAIN. jean's arc in tsc is first and foremost about healing. i think everything and every relationship jean has throughout the tsc trilogy has to lend itself towards that in some way, and ultimately has to resolve in jean being in a better place than he was at the beginning, and if not done healing, then being certain that one day he will be. (this is how jean is when he graduates from usc in the current canon ec).
following this line of thought, jean logically can't end up with kevin. and not just because it contradicts canon, because i fully believe nora is free to contradict any of the ec she wants in tsc, but because fundamentally, it would not aid in jean's healing arc.
i see the appeal, i really do. kevin and jean have insane lore, off the charts chemistry and tension and are actually extremely compatible. but that isn't enough in this case to justify an established relationship between the two of them that isn't in the past. (don't get me wrong i am a WHORE for past kevjean/kevjean situationship/unrequited kevjean it's all very yum).
i genuinely think getting into a relationship w kevin at this point in the story would hurt and hinder jean's healing arc. kevin, through no fault of his own, is so deeply entwined with jean's trauma and memories in evermore that he literally cannot be anything but a trigger and catalyst for bad memories and grief/anger in jean. y'all forget just how deep kevin's departure cut jean (not just physically), and jean hasn't even entirely worked things out with kevin yet. they have a lot of dirty laundry to air out, both between the two of them and their relationship as well as about neil and r*ko. people also forget that kevin and jean both played a role in each other's abuse. jean said himself that it destroyed him, how easy it was to fall into kevin's bystander role. they both were witnesses and bystanders to each other's abuse by r*ko or tetsuji. that doesn't mean it was their fault, and they literally could not have done anything to help or stop anything, but it doesn't mean it didn't have an affect on the other nonetheless. i feel like ppl r missing a lot of nuance in this context: kevin and jean's relationship has always been inherently tragic, even if it doesn't end with a fall out. they've always been each other's greatest friend in the worst places, and they've always been forced to witness the trauma done to both of them. they're bond is complicated, even if the love is there (which i think it is). i won't call it a trauma bond but i do think their bond is deeply influenced and intertwined with their shared trauma.
even if they did work thru everything, i honestly think jerejean is the only way to go here. nora has laid the groundwork for that mutual attraction and trust there in book one, and now we're just gonna have to see how it plays out. they may not be together properly until jean graduates, but i don't see a problem with that. i think, at the end of the day, it's not a matter of if it'll happen but when. jean needs jeremy (and cat + laila) right now, and there's a reason kevin chooses to send him to the sunshine court, and it's not just cos they're the only team worthy of jean's skill. "their kindness matters." kevin says, and it does. jeremy + the trojans innate kindness and care towards jean are what he needs to heal and grow out of the ravens' shadow. being with kevin i fear would jeopardise that. at the end of the day, kevin is too deeply rooted in jean's past, which is a veritable goldmine of trauma that, while does need to be acknowledged and talked about, does not need to be dug up again. this isn't jean or kevin's fault, just a fact.
i think nora's also made it pretty clear that kevjean (whether requited or not) is a thing of the past. the love was there, and it might've changed everything and it might've changed nothing, but the love was there. and maybe it still is. but things have changed, and they're both going their own way and i think it's really important to understand that.
side note: this is also part of the reason i'm not the biggest fan of thea and kevin's relationship. i'm not actually sure if they're all that good for each other, given how/where their relationship began and developed. i don't doubt they care for and love each other, but i just don't know if they're the best people for each other in terms of like...wellbeing. anyway does anyone have any good kevaaron fic recs???
#mildly microwaved take#gonna piss some ppl off with this one#zoe yaps#aftg#all for the game#the sunshine court#tsc#jean moreau#kevin day#jeremy knox#riko moriyama#neil josten#kevjean#jerejean#the golden raven#tgr
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hey crazy question, since you said there is no evil what would you call hitler evil? trump? mussolini? genghis khan? jeffrey dahmer? jeffrey epstein? KKK members? IDF? and if they're evil then i guess you're telling me child rapists are the only ones that shouldn't be called evil? why is that?
I'm gonna ignore your bad faith misreading of my ideas and your attempt to insinuate I am a child abuser and answer your first question for other ppls sake, cuz I think it is a reasonable thing ppl might be grappling with.
In a word, no.
In a few more words, I think the question fails to properly interrogate what I mean when I refer to evil. 'Evil' is a component of a moral framework, and I feel that moral frameworks are by and large shallow and not very useful in furthering for understandings of the world around us, or very conducive to creating material change, from an individual scale to a societal scale.
The central idea I put forward in that post is that it is not some grand moral badness that enables violence and abuse, but rather systems of power. All of your examples speak to this. You mention the wealthy, political leaders, a state backed by a global superpower, and a group that was comprised of people with systemic power over their victims.
Viewing them merely as "evil" is frankly uncurious and in some ways, cyclical and thought terminating. It begs the question: "they're bad because they're bad because they're bad."
We have NO disagreement in the fact that what those people do or did have produced violence and harm, many on a scale which is difficult to fully comprehend the magnitude of. It is equally difficult to understand even how one could act with such cruelty towards fellow human beings. But just because it is difficult to understand does not mean it is impossible. They didn't do those things because they were born with some kind of evil gene or soul.
They, like you and I, were created by the context of the world around them. If Adolf Hitler died as a child, would Germany have been rid of its antisemitism or have lost its imperial ambitions? Would war have been averted? Certainly not. There were specific, relatively measurable conditions which allowed fascism to flower. If not him, someone else would have helmed that movement.
If Adolf Hitler were born in another place and time, he would not be Adolf Hitler in any meaningful sense. A person is more or less a sum of their environment. People cannot exist outside the context that they do in fact exist in.
And so to then declare someone as 'evil' amounts to saying just about nothing. It's zero sum. If people do harm simply because they are evil, then what can be done? Create a list of them and then systematically exterminate them?
Many people have twisted my words and claimed that what I am saying is that we should expose our bellies and allow bigots to gut us, or that I equivocate violence against oppressors and violence against the oppressed. This is categorically untrue. When violence is brought against you, violent response can be prudent.
But what happens after the relations of power have been altered? When the abuser or oppressor no longer has the power to harm you? Is there reason to harm them besides to punish or sate a desire for revenge? If they no longer have the means to do 'evil,' then what purpose does violence against them serve besides for the sake of our own bloodlust?
You will not see me shed a tear for Israeli settlers killed by opposition forces, or for abusers killed by a victim defending themself because those relations of power are still in place. Settlers can leave, soldiers can dodge the draft, and abusers can stop abusing.
But if they settle, kill, and abuse because they are 'evil,' then what choice did they have to begin with? And what can be done to stop colonialism, state violence, and abuse in the future? Are evil people just going to stop being born?
The framework of evil adds nothing, gives no solutions, and hinders progress by giving us amnesty for not looking at our own relationship to power structures. But a materialist, analytical framework provides us tools to deconstruct those structures and hopefully move beyond them.
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Hello, Ryu
Do you have any advices for beginners? I'm starting to think this is not for me and I don't know how to keep going.
Love your art! But my favorite Is Ahri, I love The way you draw her >:3 <-
Honestly first thing that comes to mind is that it should be fun! I find that having ppl focus too much on only fundamentals early on can hinder your enjoyment immensely
Just try getting into the mood and find the joy of creating something out of nothing; draw ocs or ur faves making out tongues galore, maybe just a page full of eyes or cute little doodles of aliens wearing thongs, w h a t e v e r. Also that not everything has to be perfect, it’s totally okay to make some ugly ass art and in fact it’s good for you. Sometimes u just have to be a messy bitch
It can also help finding artists and styles you really enjoy and studying what you really like about them, like how someone paints/uses colors or how another artist draws faces, etc. Gotta start somewhere. Then you can really hunker down and try to focus on fundamentals. There are so many wonderful resources out there now, esp on YouTube to really nudge you in the right direction. It can take years of pain figuring this shit out, but it's also very rewarding when u finally see some progress
But it's also totally okay if drawing doesn't end up being for you! There’s so many other mediums out there you can use to express yourself. Honestly I kind of want to try whittling, seems like it would be relaxing and fun at the same time
Also im very glad u like my ahri’s lil >:3c faces, should do more some day
#anonymous#ryuunasks#this kind of became a ramble whoops#can take this with a grain of salt but yea for me I started off drawing just for fun first#drawing a bunch a gay shit in hs and running an ask vi blog way back when#then art school beat the shit out of me and shoved fundamentals in my head#bless life studies fr#long post
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sometimes yes! do get frustrate and angry at parents of nonverbal/nonspeaking/minimally speaking autistic ppl/child when they don’t do enough for AAC.
when they so afraid AAC will replace or hinder/slow spoken mouth words (study show it doesn’t), they rather not give child access to alternative AAC communication *now* and bank on future chance that child will somehow develop mouth words in future magically.
or when they say “it so difficult so many responsibility so much effort & concentration & determination” as if their nonverbal nonspeaking child learning AAC themselves doesn’t take (even more) effort & concentration & determination or whatever. as if their nonverbal child isn’t frustrated to no end at not able to reliably communicate (whether they aware of people & communicate or not).
but even tho i angry i rage i want do bad things, i don’t go attack parents in their comment section, call them names, call them abusive, call them “don’t care about their child,” call CPS on them (yes people do that), etc. because it doesn’t help anyone involved, doesn’t help the parent understand more AND doesn’t help the autistic person under the parents care.
in fact it probably do more harm than good: it isolated parents from community, isolated parents from able to ask autustic people who was or are nonverbal, it makes parents resent autistic community and even their child because everytime they remind of autism they think attack.
parents are not victim of their autistic child, yes! it’s endlessly problematic when they make themselves seem like the most impacted the biggest victim who needs pity.
but parents are victims of different kind. they victims of ableist society that don’t care about disabled people. they victim of this society that doesn’t care to provide services and funding to help disabled people survive, live, gain skills, and thrive. many of these disabled people, especially disabled children, require caregivers. parents are victims of not enough respite care, not enough compassionate education and training, bad clinicians, etc. would even go as far to say that parents of autistic children/adults are victim of same/similar *social* forces of ableist society as autistic children and adults.
so many parents of autistic people isolated and tired and helpless, because society made them that way!! so many parents of autistic people do care about their child (in their own way). yes, there are martyr parents, yes, there are abusive parents, and yes, unfortunately some of these abusive parents are intentionally abusive.
by attacking and isolating all parents, you are isolating the autistic kids (and adults!!!!!!) under their care, many of whom cannot communicate (yet or ever), go online, self advocate, etc!! some autistic people need 24/7 care their entire life. you are doing a disservice to these very autistic people you are claiming to help.
by attacking and isolating all parents, the most you doing is self indulgent, release your own anger and then pat yourself on back thinking you did something. i’m really sorry many of us had abusive unsupportive parents and have intense trauma because of it (i do too!!!), but that doesn’t justify us project our trauma on every parent we see. it doesn’t mean every parent of autistic people out there responsible for our own trauma.
yes, even parents who “deserve it.” because our goal is to help the autistic person under their care.
it our own responsibility to keep our trauma in check and work on our own trauma.
we can be angry at our own parents. can be angry at parents do bad things say bad things, whether they intend to or not. i get very angry at many parents i see online and in research papers!!! but we all need learn when and who and how it is & is not appropriate to express that trauma.
yes, these parents are isolated and trying their best. sometimes their “trying their best” is questionable and even abusive and harmful. they deserve and NEED education and compassion and community. if not for them then for the disabled person under their care.
they also need take accountability for their actions and harm they did and ableism. even if they absorb that ableism and express in way they did because societal ableism and societal pressure and systemic problems.
AND at same time. it’s not responsibility of individual autistic people to educate and correct these parents on the misinformation and harmful and even abusive and vile thing they do and say. they deserve education and support, but it doesn’t have to be you.
but ultimately, attacking parents in their face doesn’t accomplish anything other than give yourself ego boost (and make yourself very, very angry).
if you can’t care about the parents yet, care about the autistic people under their care.
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After approx. 2-3 months of studying Japanese I started to read free graded readers online and then graduated to a collection of short stories that I purchased off of Amazon. I thought that the reason I was starting to have trouble understanding sentences was because I didn't know enough vocabulary but it was because I neglected grammar completely. It was sorta drilled into my head off of Youtube creators to just study kanji, vocab and simple sentences as much as possible before even touching grammar. I feel absolutely lost, dude. I am at the 5 month mark now. I can "breeze through" kanji for the most part. (as in, I can actually retain it in a decent amount of time) I decided to study grammar about a week ago. It is SO FREAKING HARD. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. I don't know if it's supposed to feel like what I thought I knew is being ripped apart at the seams, stapled together, and then torn apart again....but it does.
Do you have any tips for learning grammar? Is this feeling normal? Can you tell me when the pressure in my skull will subside? I am using Bunpro's free trial but I'm unsure if this tool will actually help me. I write tons of notes to flip through but I still fail to give them the nuanced answer they're looking for. I really enjoy the setup of Bunpro and I want to like it since it's similar to WK but I'm not sure if I'm going too fast or there's a better way to learn. I stopped learning 5 new grammar points a day and started doing only 2. (I also have Genki I and watch GameGengo. He explains things in a way that's easy for my brain to understand.) Sorry for the long post but any insight would be appreciated. I'm a bit nervous asking people in the language learning community for help or insight because a lot of them treat it as a way to show how fast they learned/1-up others. Tumblr's langlearn community is a lot different with what I've seen (or maybe I'm just following the right ppl lol)
Hi! Thank you so much for waiting for this response--I'm sorry it took so long. Your message was one of the ones that popped up when they locked my ask box (they actually still haven't answered me on why it was locked so 🤷♀️). To make up for that, I'm gonna be longwinded because I think that this is a super valid and important question that others may also want to know the answer to!!
Pls pls PLEASE DM me if none of this is helpful or if you'd like to talk more about what you think you need help with!!
I think that sometimes when we're learning a new language that we know is so overwhelmingly different from our own language, we focus on the things that we think will be the main hinderance and sometimes we forget the key points. You might be thinking "how did I forget grammar?" but I would say don't beat yourself up about it! Many of us focus on the things that we think are our problems(--the last time I studied for the JLPT, I focused on my weak point too much and then was frustrated with myself during the exam bc I neglected the other areas.)
I don't want to lie to you and say that learning grammar will is going to get easier because that's not the case for everyone. Think of learning grammar vs everything else as learning different types of math or science--have you ever had a friend that was absolutely phenomenal at algebra or calculus but couldn't do geometry? Or a friend that was wonderful lab partner in chemistry but struggled in biology? They're struggling in biology because it requires a ton of rote memorization in comparison to practical application and math that's present in chemistry and rote memorization may not necessarily be their strong point. Personally, I think that's also why a lot of us struggle with certain grammar points. There are some that just click with us immediately and then there are others that we have to see over and over and over and over and over--you get the point--just for us to find a single sentence with it that we understand. If you're math oriented, we need to figure out a way to no longer make grammar points rote memorization for you, but to turn it into a formula of some sort. I actually write my notes out in ways that are like that--I use plus signs (+) in my notes not because the textbooks use them but because my brain genuinely reads it as "noun + particle + grammar point = a sentence that makes sense" because, for me, formulas don't fail. Your weak point doesn't have to be your weakness--you can turn the weakness into a strength that works just for you.
I've been going at this for years and every single professor or Japanese friend (or even people from the discord server) I have can tell you that I've struggled with pretty much any grammar point that included ~ように--and it wasn't because I wasn't trying, but because I couldn't find myself using any sentences that with those grammar points because I found the alternatives/similar ones to make more sense. Surprisingly, it wasn't until I was reading 夜カフェ for our book club that I was actually able to start grasping the meaning (ngl, I still haven't used it myself--I'm notorious for using alternatives); I was finally witnessing it being used in a way that made sense in my brain.
The frustration you're feeling when you encounter a new grammar point or overload yourself with too many things in one go is completely normal and I promise that a ton of us in the Japanese langblr community have definitely experienced it too! It probably feels like everything you know is being ripped apart because your native language may have a SVO (subject-verb-object) format while Japanese has a SOV (subject-object-verb) format--your 1-to-1 translations for your notes may not be helpful in the beginning because you're still trying to wrap your brain around the fact that your words still need to go in another order than you're used to. And then you add the new grammar points and concepts on top of that (like particles and other things) and it can become overwhelming and frustrating. Sometimes, you're going to find some grammar points just downright annoying--especially when you find that there's no equivalency to it in your own language. But don't give up!
I know this is a super cliché thing to say, but practicing them will help. If you can, I would make note of the grammar points that you're struggling with, try to make sentences with them, and ask somebody to check them and explain exactly why (or why not) they're working and then ask them for examples because they may have an even better way of explaining it to you than what you've come up with for yourself!
I can look back at old notes and see when I wrote a sentence as an example just because a textbook/professor used it but I didn't actually understand why it worked at the time and then I can also find notes where the sentences written as examples were added once I finally found something that clicked for me.
You've already done yourself a favor by learning a lot of vocab, kana, and kanji because now you'll be able to try out an array of ways to pick up grammar instead of just a textbook. (I will make a note that if you're looking to take the JLPT, I would recommend having a list of grammar points that you would need to know for the level that you're planning on sitting for because there's no guarantee of what will or won't pop up on the test.)
Another important thing while you're practicing: be comfortable with making mistakes. We all make them, but when you're learning a new language it's important to be ready to make mistakes and to welcome them with open arms because it gives you a chance to experience and learn in real time.
ALSO: for you specifically--because you're interested in reading, you might enjoy learning grammar through tracking the different grammar points through what you're reading and using the sentences as your examples because they're all going to be cohesive. And if reading books or other things totally turn you off right now, maybe games? Animal Crossing and Pokemon are very nice games to play in Japanese for people that are just starting out! You may also enjoy using Lingo Legend--it's an JRPG language learning app that I beta tested and I think that it's a nice way to review (it has some fun incentives). I'm not a big gamer, so I struggle with learning through games, but I've been picking up a lot of grammar through reading because I focus on finding things that I'm interested in, rather than things that are "at my level." When I start a manga, I will scour a ton of websites and forums and bug a ton of people when I come across a grammar point that I can't wrap my brain around because I want to be able to understand what's going on.
We have book clubs and gamers in my discord server, as well as places for people to post what they're practicing or to ask for help. We have people of all varying levels and different skillsets that love to share their wisdom with others.
I haven't used Bunpro, but I know that @sammilearns has, so she may be able to weigh in on that! And @tokidokitokyo @nihongoseito @chouhatsumimi @kanpeki-bekki @burgeoning-ambition probably also have even more tips that me--I'm trying to tag people that I know we all learn in different ways, so their tips and tricks might be just what you need!
Please weigh in, fellow langblr members! How have you been learning grammar? Are you game-ifying it? Have you turned it into math equations? Have you managed to tie it in with your special interest? I can't wait to see what people add to this post!
#wow...i talk too much#asks#onigiri asks#onigiri answers#onigiri replies#japanese#resources#grammar#japanese grammar#study resources#reading resources#mine#langblr
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composition advice🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 ppl say golden ratio this rule of threes that but i either dont understand it or just really never see it in most pieces i fawn over 😭 it makes starting and making a piece so intimidating tho 💀💀 your pieces always come out like a fresh home baked pie so pleeeease do spill if u know anything on this topic ahh
ASDKFHSDJKHFD Not gonna lie I personally think technical stuff like that will hinder you from exploring more possibilities of your art because you'll obsess too much about whether your art creates the golden ratio or not, and in the end people won't even notice it 😭
I remember I tried to incorporate the golden ratio into my art back then and it resulted in the most boring piece I've ever drawn, perhaps I just didn't know how the golden ratio works but I honestly think dwelling with technical stuff like that isn't really worth the effort.
My rule of thumb when compositing my art is just separating the area of focus into dark area and light area
Like, maybe I unconsciously follow the golden ratio or the rule of thirds in the composition, but the only thing I keep in mind when creating some composition is just "if the light area is the main focus, then everything in the dark area must be less detailed, if the dark area is the main focus, then everything in the light area must be less detailed", and there should only be one dark area and one light area in one artwork.
And if the art isn't scenic (is that the right word 😂 ?), I think I like making things composed slightly diagonally to make it look a bit dynamic!
There are many aspects that should be kept in mind when composing and I think the easiest way to do it is by separating the art into two different areas because it works all the time! But that doesn't mean it's the only way to compose your artwork, certain composition factors (including angle, size, shape, etc) can give different impressions and it's A LOT of things to unpack 🥲
I hope it helps Anon and thank you very much 😊!
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https://www.tumblr.com/slaaverin/766562481353162752/hey-did-you-see-this?source=share
sorry, I meant to expand but I was commuting to work. I just thought it was interesting bc I feel that BMP did say something similar about them during the relationship reading, about being distant, not physically obviously but on different wavelengths. I’m not great at interpretation of tarot but that was my gist. That in July Jimin had his defences up, was it him seeing their relationship as the devil? Him wanting to protect JK? Can’t fully remember though, but something he’s thought before. Maybe it had to do with the worries about Muse and the show launch? And them being so vulnerable there!? And them being where they are.
I know the oracle has also said about them being true lovers, a bond that overcomes the distance, so I feel the two are linked without them stating it, so whereas the qrts are being all delusional, to me it’s obvious they are talking about Jikook.
And it makes sense in my mind, that at the moment they are together to support each other, and to see the other every day, as opposed to not, but their relationship is not their focus, that’s how I interpret it.
And also in my mind it links to whatever these anons are saying, and also ppl in the qrts pointing out Who and what Jimin said about not knowing love, etc. because to me if anything in MS Jimin is going to take the shit seriously, and protect them. So he puts in place boundaries and measures to keep them safe, if that is what it takes.
They are waiting to get out, they must be, to be able to be themselves again, both as individuals and as a couple. They can’t be fully themselves in there no matter what given the consequences.
I probably am making no sense but yeah, I feel for them burnt stuck in there and I hate that they are and want them out now!
Interesting point anon.
I don't think the reading indicated that they were being distant per se but as you said projecting different viewpoints onto the relationship.
That's why I didn't really like this statement, I never felt jikook have ever been "distant" in their relationship even if there might have been physical distance involved.
Projecting the relationship to be the Devil says a lot about Jimin's state of mind and explains a lot of his general behaviour with Jungkook and with the public.
He's seeing this as something that can potentially harm Jungkook, chaining him and restraining him and hindering him to reach his potential. He's taking it all upon himself - thus he takes responsability to keep them safe and secure because he loves Jungkook and it's his priority.
I don't think any of this is based on a definite truth. JK surely doesn't see it this way at all. But Jimin has always been so caring to everyone around him, often putting others above himself and at times underestimating his own value that I understand where that may be coming from.
He put up walls with the public around his own feelings by fear of harm, putting strong boundaries as you said. And maybe he is right to do so, in a society such as theirs.
But even if jikook have differences in the way they view their relationship, the desire to be together and what they showed despite everything is based on the love they have for each other.
Jimin worries because he loves him. JK doesn't worry and wants to protect Jimin because he loves him. I see absolutely no disconnect in this, quite the contrary.
I think in military of course they have their own tasks and can't focus on each other much but they really made sure the other was still there as a constant presence of support and love because I think they need it.
If they will eventually fully embody the cosmic couple concept I believe some minute details need to be worked through to be perfectly balanced, but in my opinion they will definitely get there sooner than later.
They need to go through military and be done with it. Once their out I am sure they will both feel much liberated and more free and they will see how to go about things from there.
I think you made a lot of sense anon and thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I can't wait for them to get out too, and see how this will all play out. This is definitely a very interesting relationship to analyze and witness.
Take care 💜
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Yk one of the things I’ve always found interesting about Maka is how she shows her insecurities
Like I can see why it might be jarring when she’s supposed to be perceived as a badass in the anime but goes through a lot of highs and lows in the manga buttt…that’s kinda character development to me
One of the main issues that mostly gets brought up are her constant insecurities about being a good meister/partner for Soul
This part may seem like just a setup for the “damsel in distress troupe” which is shown through this panel
BUT BUT this chapter kinda shows how this idea is really just a twisted insecurity of hers, since Soul gets his ass handed to him everytime she does but he’s developed a sense of normalcy around self-worth issues my poor bbg so it doesn’t hit him as prominently
Another thing this kinda shows is how ppl like to see female characters as being…weak anytime they show femininity
I mean shit being insecure when you’re a teenager isn’t even a strictly feminine trait at all but once Maka loses her “yea I can tough my way through anything” persona ppl like to raise pitchforks
Which is also really interesting bc it seems like the same can’t be said when she loses this trait while worrying about Crona
Now my person opinion about this situation is that Maka’s relationship with Crona kinda just feels super stagnant and hinders her sense of understanding that she can be brave even while experiencing fear at times
I think this is mostly bc the relationship she has with them kinda serves as a form of escapism from her relationship with her own mom, mostly bc she might feel that if she teaches Crona to forget and stay positive after years of neglect she can continue to do the same for herself
Which is why the super obsessive tendencies she shows towards Crona just come off as straight up unhealthy
Also really ironic since Crona kinda talks about her unhealthy perception of her mom in the anime
Anyways yea just some word vomit on my brain as of recently lol
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thanks to my post abt the irony of trent & dave being labeled ‘normal guys’ and being definitely not normal, that got me thinking abt their dynamic.
i feel like they’d be great flatmates, buddies, that kind of bond. despite their differences in personality, their lifestyles and even those personality differences help more than hinder their friendship.
trent’s easygoing ‘cool & calm’ nature contrasts rlly well with dave’s more upright, judgmental one. trent can help dave see things (and ppl) differently while staying under the fire; dave can help trent take proper charge by getting him to realize who or what should be prioritized. (or even trent helps tap into his lowkey ‘take charge’ side whenever he drags dave away from an obsession.)
dave being a germaphobe and a neat-freak can work mostly well with trent’s ocd. i know in canon his ocd is described as numerical and nothing much more, but given how badly canon fucked him over, i like to think that trent’s deal with the number 9 is still there but it’s prominent in a lot more aspects of life (like how many exhales is enough, how many times to check the front doors lock, etc.)
dave gets it, he understands a lot of what trent goes through and feels, and he tries in his own way to show some solidarity. trent doesn’t judge his desire for neatness and he tries to keep that in mind so as not to get anything too dirty and he makes sure to help dave with his panic attacks bc he knows firsthand handling them alone constantly is a painful experience; dave doesn’t judge his ocd and interest in the number 9
(but dave does judge other ppl heavily whenever they judge them. trent gets quite amused by this—and endeared that there’s someone in his corner. he hasn’t ever met someone who’s supportive, let’s him do his thing, and understands parts of what he’s feeling)
they both have shitty love endeavors which is smth they bond over (likely while in a vulnerable position). they both try to matchmake too—it doesn’t usually go well
their family histories and childhood/adolescence get brought up last. both of them are a fan of suppressing/repressing until they either consciously or subconsciously don’t remember it. but in the end they do discuss it and it becomes yet another thing they bond over and understand each other about. the idea of being ‘normal’ when they clearly are not is smth that they both need to come to terms with—it takes a while.
(trent gets him to go to therapy)
trent helps dave get out more, do stuff that expands his horizons (like taking him to a drama brothers concert). (dave comes to him first over anyone else abt his sexuality crisis; trent talks him through it patiently, bringing up his own sexuality revelation)
i can see their dynamic as being temporary flatmates at first. or whatever it may be, their bond was initially meant to be a temporary “just for the time being” situation. but then overtime it becomes just as much or more permanent than their other friendships. they can get v domestic (even like cuddles, leaning against each other on the sofa, them just plopping their heads down on the other's lap ready to complain abt smth or other (or in trent's case, talk abt his newest song idea) and stuff like that platonically once they cross that bridge bc it’s relaxing and calming), their vibes contrast nicely, they help each other thrive in an environment of solidarity. just wholesome stuff bc given what both of them must’ve dealt with to make them the way they are, they must not have had a load of wholesomeness in the past
#yeah i do hc trent as having ocd it’s mentioned in like all my fics involving him#it could’ve been done so well but ofc the writers fucked that up#total drama#kit stuff#td trent#td dave#noahtally-famous
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Despite [Xavier's] previous insistence that he is only whole when able-bodied, he comes to terms very quickly with his return to disability: “My back is shattered, a parting gift from the Shadow King… It appears… if I am ever to achieve my dream… I will need all of you… to walk me there” (Nicieza 23). In the span of a single panel, Xavier acknowledges that he is once again disabled, accepts it, and asks his teammates for help. Due to his previous elation at becoming able-bodied, one would think he would require more time to adjust, to shift his identity once more from “able-bodied” to “differently-abled.” The ease in which Professor X resumes his disabled identity lends itself to the notion that being able-bodied, not disabled, is a plot device. He takes more time to adjust to using his legs than he does to losing them, a pattern generally reversed when other characters become disabled. This smooth transition back to disability implies that his truest identity is as a disabled man.
(emphasis mine) was reading crippled crusaders: disability representation in the superhero genre by cassandra m. nicol a few days ago and was struck by this bit....the idea that charles' "true" self is a disabled self is really interesting. (edited) crosspost from twitter:
the dominant, most objective read is that charles becomes abled, is disabled, + becomes abled again ad nauseam. yet those narrative tendencies have inadvertently created a reading where charles' disability is, functionally, a chronic illness that flares due to outward stimuli.
whether charles' paraplegia is due to physical injury or a brain/psychosomatic/astral issue isn't clear, having been complicated over the years by all the different ways the text has chosen to able + re-disable him.
what makes the most sense to me is leaning into that ambiguity. its both — either mental or physical injury/ailment can cause him disablement. and the back + forth of charles' paraplegia signifies he's uniquely in danger of that specific disablement — paraplegia/spine issues. and those issues happen ALL the time in real-life non-psychic people who experience (non-psychic….i presume) brain damage. the brain + the spine, the central nervous system, they're basically extensions of each other, and are some of the most important parts of your body.
so you can extrapolate that charles has a particularly "weak" spine, and it's likely to give out if he experiences intense physical or psionic injury. and as an x-man, he risks that often.
i also think the "ease" with which he moves from ability one state to another that nicol mentions is important to this. to be clear: we have seen charles agonize over his disability, and especially losing his ability. it's undeniable that it impacts him emotionally. but charles doesn't go through the intense "grieving" process a lot of newly disabled ppl do — the kind he went through himself when he was recovering from his first spinal injury. as nicol points out:
In Xavier’s next appearance two issues later, he is seated in a golden wheelchair and seems insistent that his disability not hinder his participation in X-Men adventures. Instead he emphasizes his usefulness with his telepathic powers, declaring, “I too shall be coming. Though I am crippled once again, my particular talents may be needed there” (Portacio and Byrne 6). His disabled status is stressed through a visual weight of the word “crippled,” both bolded and italicized in the comic panel, similar to how “whole” was stressed when he became able-bodied in 1983. But here, “crippled” is not laden with judgment. It is merely an acknowledgement of Xavier’s condition. This smooth transition back to disability in some ways rectifies his description of “able-bodied” as “whole,” as Charles insists that even paraplegic once more, he is still more than capable of being an X-Man, and he is still the most powerful mutant in the world. Regardless of the state of his physical body, Charles knows that his disability need not impose limitations on his actions; he harnesses his role as leader of the X-Men and his disability is, effectively, relegated to background information.
of course this is in part bc he'd already been paraplegic for years, but you can also see it as him just being ready for it. seeing it as an eventuality, a familiar state that he will return to throughout his life. a chronic disability that exists whether or not he can walk.
There is one more major instance in which Professor X becomes able-bodied. In 2002, a mutant named Xorn restores Xavier’s ability to walk (Morrison, “All Hell” 32). This is the most short-lived instance of Xavier being able-bodied. Only a year later, Xorn is revealed to be Magneto in disguise, one of Professor X’s oldest enemies; Xorn removes the nano-sentinels that had been holding Xavier’s spine together, crippling him again (Morrison, “Planet X” 19). Later, once freed from captivity, Xavier reappears in a chair with alien-like legs, giving him autonomous movement (Morrison, “Phoenix Invictus” 27). This time, he makes no mention of his return to paraplegia. He is in full command of the X-Men, and has again made a smooth identity transition from “able-bodied” to “differently-abled.” The fact that this occurs once more stresses that to be disabled is part of Charles Xavier’s truest identity, and that being able-bodied is a temporary plot point rather than a character trait.
and that raises the question…what does this mean in the krakoa age? does a newly grown body come without that disability? or is it a "symptom" of his mutation? is it imprinted in his mind-soul-whatever you want to call what part of a person cerebro catalogues?
throughout all of krakoa era, there's never been any mention of what charles feels about making his bodies ambulatory. the closest thing we have is the knowledge that he brought his own wheelchairs with him to krakoa which is a solid point in that theory's direction at least.
(interjection from a subsequent thread:
keep thinking abt the fact that charles brought his chairs with him to krakoa…in this place allegedly free of death or sickness he still prepares for his needs to change, as if its an immutable part of him that can resist miracle drugs + literal resurrection.
its so quintessentially x-men that we only get that interesting insight in the backdrop of an ableist story beat where a character is punished and humiliated by…. being dis-abled.
i'm still floored by how incompetent and tactless that whole thing was but that was the same book that gave us hits like kitty's "viking funeral", emma flashing men to distract them instead of using her, you know, telepathy, emma worrying about eating carbs, + other such bullshit. but i'm still surprised it went so under-discussed in x-comics fandom)
via xuân's resurrection, we know that its possible to request your physical disability be preserved when you're resurrected. so this must have been an active choice of his.
i don't think it's odd at all that charles would choose to walk considering his past feelings about it i just wish the text contended with that like at all 😭 but getting into charles' feelings abt his disability is a long ass post for another day.
(i accessed this paper on proquest here via my alma mater. if you would like to read it yourself but are not connected to an institution or library that has access, dm me and i'll send you the pdf!)
addendum: examples of charles’ disability as neurological illness and/or chronic illness
#charles xavier#professor x#xmen#x men#cherik#Me If Tagging Posts That Are Just About Charles or Erik Separately As Cherik Was A Job: 💵💵💵💵💵#x.txt
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Okay so I'll try to make it as simple and short as possible, for me the most logical way to manifest is REPETITION by repeating any affirmations over and over again it has no option but to manifest either a thought or a visual representation of your manifestation. So I've been repeating this one scenario in my head for around 2 years like the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep this specific scenario has been looping in my mind non stop even when I gave up on manifestation I quite all technique and everything I still used to loop this visuals (video) where I've everything I want like rn I'm thinking as if, I don't do this to get something I genuinely love doing this (acting as if/ visualizing) because obviously that gives me happiness my question here is why my subconscious is not reprogrammed yet when every second evey hour there is only scene in my head I don't get this and now finally I'm so hopeless and actually want a answer. Whether you believe it or not repetition is the key if you repeat something over and over and over and over and over again our brain creates new neural pathway and then it will show up in our reality. Then what the fuck is wrong with me
I REALLY WANT TO DIE NOWW
Everything will be okay. To whoever sent this, no you do not want to die. You want your new reality very badly and that's understandable.
So please bear with me and know I'm saying all of this with kindness:
from what I'm reading, you've been looping this scenario in your head for 2 years and are still looking for it. you already seemingly have read and taken the advice of repetition, acting as it, etc.
I'll be honest, I'm worried for you so I'm gonna go back to basics.
Are you viewing this reality as "It's mine now" or do you view it as something you're chasing?
Steps to Take:
take a break. seriously. take a break.
take stock of what has happened in your life within the 2 yrs you've been manifesting it - have there been small changes? have you been experiencing at the minimum, some of your desired reality?
take time to refocus on YOU. sit down, make a mind map of who YOU are and then make a separate one for your dream reality and see if they're truly different
treat yourself the same way the version of you in that reality would, just to jolt yourself in the feeling of living in the end and not just imagination, sometimes ppl need a lil 3D encouragement. for example, if the version of you always gets what they want, go into a store and buy your favorite snack just because. practice feeling good about your life.
even if you know what to do, going back and reading Neville Goddard or listening to edward art on youtube is helpful.
Final Piece of Advice
Suggested Affirmations
No matter what I feel, no matter how frustrated I am, nothing messes up the fact that my manifestations are coming in for me.
I know I am worthy of my dream reality.
I always do everything right.
I release any blockages or resistance that hinder me from experiencing my desired life
You know you deserve it. Treat yourself with love.
See you in your desired timeline, xx, gigi
#gigianswers#gigiwrites#law of assumption blog#affirm and persist#affirmations#law of assumption#loass#loassumption#neville goddard#manifestation#self concept#manifesting#loassblog#law of manifestation#edward art
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