#-requires precision and I’m sure most of you don’t know just how much of your daily life is precision tasks

[pissfizz]

I’ve never really considered my tremors a disability but holy shit it is isn’t it

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty six : crucifixion

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 12.7k

summary : judgement day.

warnings: major character death, above canon typical violence, very brief references to suicide, torture, body horror (briefly), feelings of despair, blood, wounds, general kodo grossness, vomit (reader vomits several times, it is never described in detail), language, angst, brief smut, pregnancy, death, reader is not doing well in this like she's at a breaking point, i may have missed some so feel free to let me know.

a/n: please read the warnings on this chap! it's the most serious of the bks updates, definitely a bit more intense than the rest. gonna work on getting 27 out within the next few day. i've been terrified of releasing this chapter since i started writing it so once i post this i'm going to dig a hole and sit in it and hide for a while lmao.

i changed my editing style so if there's spelling errors lmk!! apologies in advance!!

“My room is too big.” 

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” You’re giggling along with him now, it’s the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh. You both just laugh for a few minutes, as if each other's company is the most amusing thing in the world. 

Once your giggles fizzle out you wait another moment before breaking the silence. 

“Where did you grow up?” You can’t see him but you can sense where he sits in the darkness, you crawl forward so you’re sitting between his legs, your own legs wrap around his waist. “I’m just curious.” 

“Aq Vetina.” You can’t recall anything about the planet. You aren’t even sure you’ve heard of it. 

“Do you remember your parents well? You don’t talk about them very much.” You put your hands on his shoulders, ever so slowly moving them up to his neck until you’re cupping his face. 

“I’ll never forget them.” He whispers. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We can’t change the past.” You rub your nose against his, bumping them together as you hum and nod. “My mother loved ships. We didn’t travel, we never had a reason to, but she would take me outside and we’d watch ships fly past. I could never comprehend how she knew the name for all of them, it blew my mind.” You wrap your arms around his neck, staying silent in hopes that he’ll continue, he so rarely speaks so much. “My father worked a lot but he always made time for us, he was always home in time to say goodnight to me. He was always around when I needed him, he always provided for us. On his day off he’d spend the whole day cooking, I’d sit on the kitchen counter and tell him what my mother and I had done that week. When she’d come home we’d all eat dinner together.” 

“You sound like you were a happy child.” You can’t help but smile. 

“I never had reason to be otherwise.” He says it so matter of factly that you don’t doubt it for a second. He was loved. It only makes you smile wider.         

“What were you like, as a child?”

“Well behaved.” You immediately begin laughing once more. 

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe it. My mother homeschooled me, she always made sure I had manners. I wasn’t particularly athletic or talkative so I didn’t play with other kids a lot. It was just me and mama.” He sounds far away, it makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“So what did you do all day?” Your tone has softened significantly. 

“I would sew.” 

“Be serious.” He’s the one who laughs now at the disbelief in your voice.

“I am! I would sit with my mother after my lessons and we’d sew.” His fingertips dance along the back of your neck as he reminisces. 

“What kinds of things?” You don’t tease. When you really think about it you suppose such a hobby is fitting for him. A task that requires precision and care. 

“I would help her make clothes and blankets that she would sell most days. On the weekends she’d let me do whatever I wanted so I would practice my embroidery.” 

“My heart is actually about to explode out of my chest, you’re so cute.” You put on a mocking tone but the thought of such a thing really does make your heart clench. “Little Din Djarin stitching his name into his clothes.”

“You’re a cruel woman.” He leans forward, knocking his forehead against yours, almost as if he were reprimanding you. 

“What sorts of things would you embroider?” Your tone goes back to genuine, you could listen to him talk about himself for days and you’d never get bored. 

“Whatever my mother wanted. I would ask her what I should do and then I’d stitch it onto her blanket or the hem of her skirt. Mostly flowers, she loved daisies.” You’re pretty sure one of your ovaries literally popped at the thought of a little boy with dark curls and big brown eyes sitting beside his mother and embroidering a daisy onto her skirt. Your heart flutters a bit as you think of the necklace he got you. The silver outline of a flower you now realize is a daisy. “If he was ever gone for more than one night for work my father would bring her daisies, one for each day he was away.”

“Do you still know how?”

“I used to fix Grogu’s clothes when he ripped them but I haven’t done much else since I was a boy. He says it with finality but you carry on, not wanting him to stop talking. 

“What were their names? Your parents?”

“Clara and Arin Djarin.”  

“Those are pretty names.”

“What was it like for you? You said you had seven siblings right?”

“Eight actually.” You think of them now. There were eight of you and your parents' love for all of you combined wasn’t even a tenth of how much Din’s parents loved him. 

“Do you like having a big family?” He lifts you off of his lap, laying you back down as he crawls on top of you, laying against your chest. 

“I love it. I miss my siblings everyday, do you think we’ll be able to visit them someday?”

“If it’s safe to, of course we will.” He tilts his head, if you weren’t in darkness he’d be looking at you. 

“I wish they had visited here. They would have loved you.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding me? The younger ones would adore you.” You tangle your finger in his hair, scratching his scalp. “Kids just naturally like you.” 

“They just haven’t learned to fear me.” You frown when he says it like a fact.

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Yeah?” The hopeful tilt to his voice has you leaning down to press a kiss into his hair. 

“Kids are intuitive, they can sense that you’re a good person.” He tenses up as you tell him he’s a good person. You know exactly what he’s thinking about now, how he punched your husband and then refused to leave. 

Neither one of you wants to talk about that though, not today. 

“What kind of room would you want? Since your current room isn’t to your liking.” He’s quick to change the subject and you let him.

“In all honesty, I like the cabin, I wish we could just live there.” You run your fingers through his curls as you think about it, gently pulling through any tangles.

“My cabin?” His voice is full of uncertainty as he pulls back a bit.

“It’s nice.” You feel a bit defensive, you consider the cabin to be the closest thing you have to a home. “Can you imagine getting to stay on Naboo? We could spend our mornings walking the market.” You rest your hand on the back of his neck now. “We could get jobs in the city, and then at night we’d come home.” 

“To the cabin?” He still sounds rather skeptical of your hypothetical future. 

“I’d cook dinner, you’d do the chores.”

“The cabin’s a bit small for us.” 

“We’d make it a bit bigger, add a few bedrooms, we don’t need that much space.” 

“A few?” He turns his head, his lips brush against your collar briefly as he kisses you there, freezing up when you speak again. 

“At least two, one for us and then some for any little Djarin’s who might need space.” With that he sits up entirely, his legs straddle your stomach.

“Little Djarin’s?”

“And Grogu, he would come live with us as well.” 

“You’d want him to live with us?”

“Of course, he’s a little Djarin.” Your hands rest on his thighs now as he seemingly ponders above you. He hums to himself in silence for a moment and you can’t help but grin at how seriously he’s taking all of this. 

“How many?” He finally speaks again and you laugh at the bluntness of his question. 

“Kids?”

“How many would you want?”

“You go first.” You haven’t ever talked about this sort of thing so you want to gauge his answer first so you don’t scare him too much with all the kids talk. 

“Maybe five? Or six.”

“Six?” Your voice pitches up immediately and you feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs. 

“Or five.”

“How about two, counting Grogu.” Turns out you didn’t need to worry about scaring him off. 

“How about three?” Three is manageable. 

“Counting Grogu?” 

“Counting Grogu.” He seems satisfied with that. 

“I suppose we could have three, you’re the one who has to build all the extra bedrooms.” 

“I don’t mind.”

“I’d work at the library and you’d work in a shipyard, we’d take turns staying home with the kids.” You pull him back to you, taking his hands and dragging him to lay his head on your chest once more.

“I’ve got enough savings, neither one of us has to work if you’d like.” It sends a twinge of pain to your heart how real this conversation has become, knowing that this exact dream isn’t possible. 

You could always make parts of it real.

Someday. 

“I’d want to work, to get out of the house, but you could stay home if you’d like.”

“When they’re still ik’aad, at least for the first few years I’d want to be with them.” He’s going to be a wonderful father. 

“Then I’d work, not long hours, just enough to get me out of the house, when I come home I’d give you a break, you could do the shopping and I’d watch the little’s.” 

“We’d go as a family, I wouldn’t want ‘a break.’” 

“You’d want to wrangle three kids in the markets?” You scoff in disbelief but he continues to sound completely serious. 

“They’d be well behaved.” You seriously doubt that. 

“What about either one of us makes you think our children will be well behaved? Is Grogu well behaved?” 

“We’ll manage.”

“They’ll be wild.” They will, not they would. 

“And smart.” He sits up again, hovering above you to give you a quick kiss. 

“And happy.” There isn’t a doubt in your mind that your children would be happy with Din as their father. 

“You’d really want to live here? I could build us a house anywhere.”

“I like Naboo, at least everything outside of the castle. I don’t even mind the castle, I just don’t care for the people inside it.” It’s true, somewhere along the way this place grew on you immensely. You love the city and the people in it. “And they’d get to play in the garden.” 

“I would build you a cabin anywhere you wanted, and I’d plant you a new garden.” He kisses along your cheeks and forehead as he speaks. 

“You wouldn’t need to plant me a garden if we lived here.” You insist. 

“We can’t live here, mesh’la.” He rubs a small circle with his thumb against your cheek. “This is too serious now, we’re supposed to be relaxed today.”

“When did we agree on that?” You muster up a weak laugh. 

“It was a silent mutual agreement.”

“I’m plenty relaxed.” You mumble. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling you as you let out an airy giggle. 

“I’m actually very tense and I think we should take a break from all this talking and take care of that.” He mumbles against your shoulder.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm.” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against your hip, you hadn’t even realized that this is where he was going with that. 

“How long have you been waiting to jump me?”

“When we started talking about the five kids I was gonna put in you.” He continues to nip at your neck and shoulders as he speaks. 

“Skipping the agreed upon three and going straight to five already? You’re not even going to attempt to negotiate for four?” 

“So you’re open to four?” He pulls back and you can hear his smile. 

“Let’s start with one and go from there.”

“Right now?” His hips stutter down a bit against yours. 

“Maker, you’re insatiable.” You both burst into another fit of laughter. 

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I could get pregnant, and considering the lack of sex I’ve had with my husband I’m sure that might raise a few eyebrows.” 

“It would never get to that point, when we’re in the clear with this whole Kodo mess I’m getting you out of here.”

“Like… actually leaving Naboo?” 

“Exactly like that. I’m gonna take you far away from here when this is over, gonna keep you all for myself.” His hands move down, giving your hips a squeeze. 

“I’m already yours.” You laughed, rolling over to be on top of him. He’s right, if you’re going to leave anyway then what’s the worst thing that could happen? 

You never talked about that night after that. 

When everything sorted itself out you realized how crazy your fear had made you. You couldn’t just leave. At least that’s what you’d told yourself, now you feel like an idiot for not holding him to his words. It wasn’t realistic, you both knew actually leaving would take so much more preparation than a few whispered ideas during a time where neither one of you was in any position to be making such promises. 

It was just talk.

Lysa came to get you from the dining room. 

After everyone left you had no motivation to move, you just stood there, frozen in time. After a few hours she found you, she had taken your hand and walked you back to your chambers. She held your hand, she kept you upright when you threatened to crumble. And when you felt a wave of nausea ripple through you she rushed you to the fresher, a hand on your back as you threw up all over again. 

You sat breathlessly on the tile, Lysa rubbing your back.

“Gods, I’ve been nauseous since the wedding. Even before everything fell apart.” It’s the first words you’ve spoken since they took Din, your stomach is still churning. “This has never happened before.” You groan, you’ve had many moments of upset throughout your life, but none that made you physically ill. Lysa looks almost painfully worried. 

“Ma’am… is there a chance you might be…” 

Kriff.

You never talked about that night after that. 

Maybe you should have. 

You both did a lot of things during those days. You had been so angry, and he had done everything in his power to ease that anger, to keep both of you as happy as someone could be in your situation. 

You shouldn’t have used that as an excuse to be reckless. 

“I’d like to go to bed.” 

“Of course.” She helps you to your feet, walking you back to your room, you turn to her one last time before you close the door. 

“I’m sorry. Elaine never should have gotten involved in all this.” You’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if you could. 

“It’s not your fault.” She truly seems to believe that. 

Except it is. Elaine never would have found herself in this situation if she hadn’t so often been helping the two of you keep your secret. 

“Goodnight, Lysa.” 

“Goodnight, princess.” 

You lay on the bed, unable to bring yourself to sleep in the closet. 

It’s cold. Colder than Hoth, as you stare at the ceiling in your far too big bed in your far too big room. Even bigger now that it’s just you. 

You let your hand roam down your torso to rest on your stomach.

Just you, hopefully. 

☆

You’re now having nightly dinners with Kodo. 

You don’t get any respite from him, you just want to stay in bed. You’re nauseous and tired and your head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night. A million thoughts a minute. 

Where is he?

Is he okay?

What the fuck can I do about it?

Mostly that. 

The worst part is your lack of a plan. If the roles were reversed Din would have already rescued you and you’d be living happily ever after. 

But that isn’t how your story is going. Instead you are alone, with no scheme on how to get to him. It’s only been three days but it’s driving you insane, you have never known such hopelessness, it’s maddening. To sit alone in your room all day, staring at the ceiling until Lysa comes to dress you for dinner. Neither one of you ever speaks, afterall, what would you say to each other?

“I’m sorry the love of your life had been sentenced to die?”

How morbid. 

Not that you’re above being morbid. 

You think about it often. How easy it would be to drive your dinner knife into Kodo’s throat. You’re seated beside him now at dinner, both of you at the head of the table, joined by the rest of his family. 

The thought of killing him is the only thing that brings you peace these days. You’ve never once in your life been violent until now. Din is good. He’s a good man. In every way he is the opposite of your husband yet Din is the one locked away, Maker knows where, while Kodo is being rewarded. 

It doesn’t make you mad, it makes you furious. 

It makes you want to poison his wine. 

But you don’t have poison. 

And you can’t put yourself in danger. Because you feel fundamentally different, and even if you refuse to think that such a thing is possible you know you wouldn’t just be putting yourself in danger. There’s more at stake now. 

That’s what you tell yourself to stay calm, a feat that is getting harder by the minute as you’re sat beside Kodo who is currently bragging about how he defeated a Mandalorian. 

“They aren’t as strong as you think they are. Under the armor they’re weak, pathetic.” 

It took six battle droids to keep him down. You didn’t even get near him. 

“Some people just need to be taught a lesson, don’t touch what isn’t yours.” He sneers and the rest of the table erupts into laughter. “I certainly taught that horned bitch a lesson as well, you all should have seen what they brought me last night.” 

You perk up, this is the only thing they’ve said in days that truly matters to you. You’ve heard nothing about the current state of either of them until now. 

“What did they do to Elaine?” Everyone’s head turns to you, all their expressions look as if you’ve announced something treasonous but Kodo smiles as if he were explaining something to a child. 

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” He puts his hand over yours when he says it. 

You don’t ask for any follow up. 

You don’t think you could stomach it, so you stay silent for the rest of your meal. When you’re finished you stand, the rest of the table is starting to pour more drinks but you simply lean down, mumbling something about being tired before giving Kodo a quick kiss on the cheek and dismissing yourself. 

You’re waiting for the night where he joins you in your chambers, after all his father is dead, but it has yet to happen. He had told you that once he was king he would be in need of heirs but he seems happy enough with his pleasure houses and you’re more than grateful for the women you entertain him so you don’t have to. 

So you return to your chambers alone, peeling off your gown before burying yourself under the covers. 

Sleep evades you as you toss and turn. You aren’t even tired, there’s too much going on in your mind, there’s no room for exhaustion. After about an hour you manage to drift in and out of unconsciousness, earning a brief reprieve from your anxieties until a sharp knocking has you jolting upright. 

You don your robe, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you rush to the door, you’re too tired to wonder who might even be bothering you at such an hour as you pull the door open. 

Lysa?

“We have to hurry, ma’am.” She grabs your arm, frantically tugging you into the hall. 

“Lysa? What are you doing? Are you okay?” 

“I am fine, but we don’t have much time.”

“Surely you have enough to tell me where we are going.” 

“Do you want to see him or not?” 

Din.

You nod, taking her hand as he rushes onward, stopping at each hall to peer around the corners until you make your way to a servants stairwell, skipping several steps in your descent until you run out of stairs. You’ve never been down here, you didn’t even know there were dungeons until recently. 

It makes your stomach twist in knots the moment you stare into the darkness. 

“Are there no guards?” You whisper, squeezing her hand.

“Not for the next hour, I’ve made sure of it.” She begins walking down the poorly lit corridor, pulling you along behind her. 

The stone floor is damp and it smells of mildew. Your bare feet are already freezing after just a few steps.

Every cell you pass is lit from the outside with a hanging lantern, they’re mostly empty, but you catch glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye every now and then. In all honesty you’re doing your best to take in as little as possible, you don’t want to think about Din being down here in such a place, but there’s one element you can’t ignore. 

The wailing. 

Someone is weeping, a low, sorrowful song filling the vast maze of halls and you realize quickly you’re heading in its direction, Lysa tenses beside you as you continue on. You’re about to turn one more corner when she abruptly stops, turning to face you.

“He needs to eat.” She removes a fistful of rations from her apron pocket, shoving them into your hands. 

“He hasn’t?” He’s been down here for three days. 

“He won’t… let me.” You pause, cocking your head to the side and she gives you an apologetic look when she turns. “He won’t let me uncover his face.”

Oh. 

“I’ll feed him.” You nod slowly, tucking them into your own pockets before turning the corner. The contents of the cell immediately on your right have you stumbling backwards but Lysa is not swayed, pulling a key from her pocket, unlocking the door quickly before handing it to you. 

“He’s two cells down, on your right.” She doesn’t look at you as she rushes in, pulling a roll of bandages from her dress. “Shh… it’s okay, I’m here.” Her voice goes soft as she kneels beside Elaine. You can’t help it as you step into the entryway of the cell. 

Well, you’ve found the source of the wailing. 

She’s sat on a cot, curled in on herself as Lysa carefully peels back a series of soiled bandages from her face. 

“I’ve got you, it’s just me.” She continues to make an attempt to sooth a rather hysterical Elaine as she peels back the final layer of bandages and your stomach flips. “You’re okay, love, I need to change these.” You don’t know how Lysa is so calm, even in the darkness you can see the extent of her wounds. Now you know what they brought Kodo last night.  

Both eyes. 

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” 

Oh gods. 

You’re worried you may collapse as you watch Lysa tend to her with no hesitation, cleaning them with a careful hand before she begins to redress them. You can’t bear to watch any longer as Elaine begins sobbing once more. You try desperately to force the sight of your mutilated friend from your mind as you count down two more cells before quickly fumbling for the lock, letting it hit the floor as you take the lantern outside the door off its hook, bringing it into the dark room. 

It isn’t like Elaine’s cell. 

There’s no bed or interior light, it’s terribly dark and fetid, his cell running deeper than her’s. It takes a few steps for you to finally illuminate the room enough to see him. 

Maker. 

What have they done to your Din? 

You don’t hear Elaine anymore, there isn't a single thing that could distract you from the scene in front of you. There is nothing but the sight of your kar’ta. There’s too much for you to worry about, you don’t even know where to start, you’re frozen in place, a small part of your brain refuses to recognize the man before you as Din at all. He shouldn’t look like this. 

Armorless. 

They’ve stripped him of any clothing you recognize, the thought alone makes you nearly lose your dinner. 

They took his helmet, replacing it with a linen sack.  

Did they see his face?

You briefly have to shut your eyes, taking a deep breath as you take in the rest of him. His clothes are too thin, he must be freezing, they’ve dressed him in a cotton tunic and trousers that end just below the knee. You can see just how beaten and bruised he is. Unlike Elaine he’s in chains, kneeling on the floor with his hands shackled, taut above his head. You swallow the lump in your throat and finally crouch down in front of him, setting the lantern down beside you as you reach out to place a hand on his chest.

“Din…” Your voice cracks and the moment you come in contact with him he flinches back. Suddenly you know how Lysa held it together so well with Elaine, she just had to. You can’t fall apart, who would care for him now if you did? “It’s me, just me. Just me.” You whisper and place a hand over his heart but withdraw it quickly when he trembles under your touch. You ache at the sight of it but more than anything you’re confused, it only takes a moment for you to realize the issue. 

He doesn’t have his helmet. They’ve not only left him here blind, but deaf, of course any touch would frighten him. 

He assumes you're here to harm him. 

You lean in, careful not to come in contact with him as you speak clearly and loudly. 

“Din?” His trembling stops instantly. You find it a bit troublesome how much worse his hearing seems to have gotten in such a short time, you’re half tempted to reach under the bag to make sure he still has his ears. 

“Sarad?” Oh, Din. His voice is terribly small and it sends you forward, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him into an unreciprocated embrace. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You make sure to speak loud enough for him before pulling back, placing your hands against the fabric covering his face. 

“Are you okay?” He coughs a bit as he asks and you almost laugh at how ridiculous the question is considering the state he’s in. Are you okay? 

Technically no. 

But far better than he’s doing. 

“I’m perfectly fine, what can I do for you? Are you hurting?” You feel his face through the bag as you look down across his body. It doesn’t look like there’s been any permanent damage outside of a pretty nasty cut on one of his legs. 

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Now’s not the time to play the hero, Din.” He flinches a little and you calm your tone immediately. What the hell did they do to him? “Just let me help.”

“How’d you get down here?” 

“Lysa, she says you aren’t eating.” 

“She’d have to lift my- the bag to do it.” He sounds apologetic, as if you could ever fault him for following his creed. 

“It’s okay… may I?” You bring your hands to the hem of the bag but his head turns sharply.

“I- I don’t want you to look.” 

You have no response. He’s always wanted you to look. 

“I just, I don’t think you wanna see the condition I’m in. I don’t want your only memories of my face to be this.” He whispers when you don’t respond.

You should have looked when he asked you to. You should have done a lot of things differently. 

You shouldn’t have waited so long to look. 

You shouldn't have waited so long to tell him you loved him. 

You should have just let yourself love him. Why did you fight it for so long? It seems silly now. If you could do it all again you would have just taken his helmet off the first night you met him and you would have married him right then and there. You would have left Naboo that night.

And you would never keep any of it from him. You would tell him how important he is and how loved he is, you wouldn’t make him wait. 

Even now you can’t help it though, censoring yourself out of fear. Do you tell him about how nauseous you get every morning? About the way Lysa stares at your belly when she does your makeup? 

No. 

It wouldn’t do either of you any good, not when he’s in this situation. 

You take hold of the edges of the bag once more, gentler this time. 

“I’ll close my eyes.” You lift the fabric completely off of him, setting it in your lap as you simultaneously shut your eyes. You keep one hand on his face, using your thumb to find the corner of his mouth as your other hand fumbles to open a ration bar. You feel him part his lips as you feed him. He’s barely chewing, eating quickly and swallowing most of it whole. “Have they fed you at all?” You whisper as he finishes the first bar in a matter of seconds, his teeth lightly scraping against your fingers before you withdraw them, tearing open another bar.

“No.” His voice is still soft as you go to feed him once more, opening each package until he’s eaten them all. 

“Are you still hungry? I could see if Lysa has more.” 

“I’m okay.” You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead on his. 

“What else can I do for you?” 

“Nothing. Being here is enough.” 

If you had felt helpless before it was nothing compared to this. This is more than helplessness, it’s despair. 

“I’m sorry.” You pull yourself further into his lap, wrapping your arms around him in the process. 

“Hey… none of this is your fault.” It certainly feels like it is. Why does he keep comforting you when he’s the one shivering and alone down here? 

“Please, there has to be something I can do to help you.” 

“There is one thing.” You almost open your eyes, you're so relieved, you just want to ease his pain. 

“Anything. I’ll do anything.” 

“I need you to promise me you won’t look.”

“Won’t look?” Your eyes are already closed, you couldn’t look any less if you tried. 

“When they do it. I don’t want you to see it- it won’t be pretty.”

When they separate his head from his body. 

“I won’t.” You can’t deny him this, you’ll give him anything he wants. “Do you know how much I love you?” You whisper before leaning forward another inch to kiss him. 

The question is genuine. It terrifies you to your core to think that he may not know just how much you love him. 

“Of course sarad.” He murmurs against your lips until you let your head rest on his shoulder, fighting back tears. 

What do you say now?

What do you say to a man condemned to death? 

“I love you.” You mumble into the thin fabric of his tunic. 

“I love you too.” After a moment more with him you hear metal jingling as Lysa locks Elaine's cell once more. You quickly pull back from him, pulling the bag back over his head, once you know he can’t see you anymore the tears flow freely. Lysa steps into the cell and you remove your robe, wrapping it around him, immediately he begins to protest. 

“Mesh’la, you can’t leave this here.” His voice is strained and it makes you sick to think he started crying once he was out of sight as well. 

“Please, y-you’re gonna freeze.”

“They’ll know you were here, sarad’ika.” 

“Din…” You’re practically babbling as Lysa removes your robe from his shoulders, an apologetic look on her face as she grabs your arm. 

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we need to go.” Tears sting your eyes as Lysa urges you to hurry but you don’t want to leave him, you want to stay, no matter the consequence. You pull away from her, wrapping your arms around his torso. 

“You need to go.” His voice is urgent through the fabric as you cling to him tighter. 

Would it be easier to just stay? Get caught and join him at the executioners? You’re genuinely considering it when you feel your stomach churn once more and you’re reminded of the exact reason why you can’t stay. Before you lose your nerve and shatter completely you lift the bag, just enough to give you an eyeful of his split lip and bruised jaw as you gently lean in and kiss him one more time. 

Doing everything in your power to remember exactly what it feels like.

The curve of his lips and the shape of his chin, the overgrown stubble brushing against your skin as you press your face harder against his, desperation taking over as you taste salt on his lips. You hold him as long as you can, until you hear Lysa urging you to make haste once more. 

“I love you.” You press your forehead to his through the fabric, feeling the familiar shape of his face against yours. 

“I’ll always be yours.” 

That was the last thing he was able to say before you let Lysa drag you out of the dungeons. 

☆

It’s like everythings suddenly back to the beginning. 

You wake up alone, you go to bed alone, and you wander the castle alone.

There is no plotting or scheming to free Din. 

Even if you were a trained killer or bounty hunter, it would be more than difficult to get him out of the dungeon and on a ship off Naboo. It would be even harder to do so when you’re one of the most recognizable people on the planet. 

He is buried deep beneath the ground and there is nothing you can do about it. 

After all, you're just a doll. 

You don’t know when it happened but all your clothes are blue again. Every dress Lysa fetches from the closet is a different shade of blue and all your nightgowns are the color of the sky. A personal brand put on you by Kodo. It’s clearly more than just a preference now, it’s a reminder to you and everyone else that you’re his. 

And time blends. 

You know a date was set right around the time you visited him. One week until Kodo’s coronation and two until the execution. His first public event after being crowned king will be a death sentence, how fitting. 

So you wake. 

And you sleep. 

And you walk. 

Kodo never replaces Din and you haven’t seen Leo since that night, so you’re completely alone. It’s like he’s rubbing in the fact that you’re powerless. There’s no need for you to have a guard, you can’t leave. If you tried you’d be escorted back in an instant. 

You tried to convince Lysa to let you see him again last night. 

“Please, just a few minutes-“

“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just not possible. The only reason I was able to get you down there the first time was because the guard that usually lets me in was working nights, he won’t be working nights again until next month.”

Din won’t live to see next month. 

“Is he eating?”

“He won’t let me-“

“You need to insist. Tell him I insist, and tell him you’ll close your eyes.” 

She pins back a bit of your hair, leaving half up and half down. You both bask in the silence for a moment.

“I’ll make sure he eats.”

“Thank you.”

That had been the last conversation you had with Lysa. 

She doesn’t come to dress you in the morning. You think nothing of it and dress yourself in the gown she’d laid out last night. It’s a bit difficult, putting your coronation gown on on your own but eventually you manage, when you’re fully dressed in the obscenely decadent blue fabric you begin to worry. 

You have no reason to assume that everything is fine. It would actually make sense for this to be a worst case scenario situation, everything else in your life is right now. 

You’re about to leave in search of her but you decide against it. Sitting at the vanity and doing your makeup as quickly as possible, the last thing you need to do right now is give Kodo a reason to be upset with you, you have to be presentable. You smear the shimmering blue eyeshadow across your lids before rushing out of your room. 

The halls are full. Servants move quickly from room to room, cleaning every inch as you carefully push through the crowds, making a beeline towards the dining room. 

Kodo is seething when you push open the large doors. 

He stands at the end of the table, shoving an armored guard as the veins in his neck jut out in his rage. 

“Where could she have possibly gone? She’s blind. You’re telling me some blind bitch outsmarted my entire guard?” 

Your heart flutters at the thought.

They escaped.

Your hope is shattered the moment Kodo begins speaking again.

“At least we still have the Mandalorian… I want security tripled, guards stationed outside his cell at all times.” He continues grumbling for a moment until he realizes you’re there. “Happy coronation day dear wife! I’m afraid we’ve had a rough morning here, somehow in the night the Togruta girl escaped, do not fret, we’ll find her.” 

God's you hope not.

Even if things are worse than ever regarding Din there is one flicker of light in that darkness. Lysa got Elaine out. Knowing that almost puts you at ease.

“Happy coronation day.” You actually manage a smile when you look at your husband, it’s weak but it’s genuine. You want to be mad that they didn’t help Din escape but you just can’t be. You know they most likely tried but if the roles had been reversed and you could only get one of them out you wouldn’t hesitate. 

So there is no animosity. Just a flicker of happiness for them.

They got out.

☆

You were under the impression that a coronation was a happy event. Yet when you step out onto the castle steps it seems to be quite the opposite. 

They look miserable. 

All of their faces are sullen and dejected. How shocking, no one is excited about Kodo being crowned king. He didn’t have any of the outside of the castle decorated or made presentable in any way. No one reacts when Kodo reads from an ancient looking book until a crown is placed on his head. 

A moment afterwards you’re instructed to kneel and a tiara is placed onto your head. 

The audience is silent and you feel shame when you stare out at them.

Even if you don’t have very much power you still feel as if you’ve failed them. The feeling follows you when you’re directed to the dining hall with Kodo.

“I have a couple gifts for you, wife.” His twisted smile makes your stomach turn as you enter the dining hall, now decorated with blue and gray banners.  

“A gift? You shouldn’t have, my king, I- I didn’t get you anything.” You feign remorse as you take a sip of the wine in front of you on instinct before spitting it back up into the cup. 

“That’s more than okay, you’re my gift, sweet wife, all mine.” The thought of such a thing makes you sick, you smile despite yourself. 

“That’s very kind.” You’ll only ever be Din’s. No amount of blue fabric and faux smiles can change that. He snaps his fingers and a large box is brought to you by a servant, they set it directly in front of you on the table. You look at Kodo who nods, sitting back in his chair as you stand, the box is wrapped in checkered blue paper, a large bow adorning the top. Your hands tremble a bit as you take hold of the edges of the ribbon, tugging on them until the bow slips free, much to your surprise the entire box falls open, the sides collapsing giving you an immediate view of the contents. 

The silver, shimmering contents. 

Din’s helmet. 

Polished like new, it sits before you, and the room suddenly empties. It’s as if you are completely alone, despite all the eyes that are most definitely pinned on you right now. Your hands continue to shake as your fingers wrap around the beskar steel, like you would when you held Din’s face, lifting it to glare into the visor. 

Empty. 

You can’t help but stare at your own emptiness reflected back at you. 

You want to hold it close, press it to your forehead but you’re snapped back to reality by the grating sound of Kodo’s voice breaking you from your focus on the helm between your hands. 

“That’s only one of your presents, open the next one.” He hisses gleefully. 

You set the helmet down, realizing there was another, much smaller box underneath it. Silently you scoop it up and cradle it in your hands. It’s a larger than a ring box, it just barely fits in your palm as you ever so gently open it, swinging the top open as if it were a tiny treasure chest.              

Huh.

It takes a moment.

You aren’t exactly sure what it is you’re looking at at first but when it registers your entire body tenses up, your grip tightening on the gift box. 

Bloody and pink, a tongue. 

Of course you know better than to assume Kodo would give you any old tongue. This is a special someone’s tongue. 

No, no, no, no, no. 

You had loved his tongue before anything else.

He can’t do this, he cannot do this to you.

You had fallen for his sharp wit first, it was what drew you into him. His sweet words had won you back, his declaration of devotion.

Now you hold all of that in the palm of your hand. 

“What do we say?” His nasally voice breaks through your mental anguish. 

No.

“Come on, where are your manners?”

Please. 

“Thank you.” Your whisper is nearly silent as you struggle to keep down the scream bubbling in your throat.

“What was that?” 

You clear your throat. 

“Thank you.” 

He makes you take it with you. You don’t bother telling him you won’t be attending the coronation ball in a few minutes, it’s not like you’ll be missed. 

In one arm you’re cradling his helmet, in the other the little blue box. 

You set each one down carefully onto the bed, even if it’s a bit demented these are the only parts of him you have left. You stare at the little box. 

You have never been hateful. 

Kodo made you into this. You are full of hate, for most things at this point. You hate your husband, you hate your room, and most of all you hate the little blue box on the bed. 

And the music starts. 

It must be deafening in the hall for you to hear it from your room but it’s there, loud and demanding of your attention. 

You’re moving before you even have a chance to think about it, in a few quick strides you’re standing beside the vanity, your hands gripping the top of the mirror as you pull it down in one swift motion, the contents spill everywhere and the glass shatters in an instant, shards splattering the floor but you take no time to process it. 

You move on to the next thing.

You yank each drawer from the dresser, throwing them to the floor, clothes strewn about until it’s light enough for you to push the entire dresser over. In your frenzy you go about the room toppling every stupid fucking table over. So many fucking end tables in  one room, and you throw everyone to the floor, trinkets and vases clattering to the ground as you destroy the room. You get a rush of adrenaline as you lift one of your nightstands and throw it against the wall leaving a small dent but more importantly the force of it makes anything hanging on the wall tumble to the floor, glass frames shatter. 

Your chest heaves as you stare at the carnage.  

And it isn’t enough.

Your face is wet with tears and your hands with blood from cuts you didn’t feel upon your skin as you tear open the closet door, the pile of blankets mock you from the floor, you grab them, your vision now blurry with tears as you pull them out of the closet, throwing them onto your bedroom floor. When you return to the closet you’re in a frenzy, you tear at the fabric before you, yanking each and every dress off their hangers, ripping what you can.

There is nothing else for you to do, so you destroy everything you can get your hands on until the only thing left untouched is your bed, left in pristine condition as you let out a small sob. 

Maybe you are a hateful person now. 

You feel as though you have every right to be at this point. 

You step over the shard of glass, giving your bloody hands a glance before wiping them on your gown.

Happy coronation day. 

You sit on the bed, your trembling fingers wrap around the helmet, now that you’re alone you waste no time to hold it against you face, until your body just gives up, too tired to stay awake anymore.

☆

A guard wakes you in the morning, knocking on your door, when you answer it they tell you Kodo requires your presence in his chambers.

You dress in a blue gown that you don’t look too closely at. Stopping at the fresher on the way, rinsing the dried gore from your palms, wincing as you clean your wounds. None of which seem too deep. 

You want to cut Kodo’s tongue out, to make him feel it. But you know that sort of thing would be an impossible task. So you daydream about it as you walk. You’re more than displeased when you open the door and are greeted by Leodall. You hadn’t seen him since that night and from the looks of it he wasn’t expecting you. He swallows loudly when you step inside Kodo’s room.

Normally you’d be curious, you’d probably take a look around but your eyes refuse to focus on anything but Leo as you scowl at him. 

“Why’d you do it?” You don’t hesitate to ask, you have no idea how quickly Kodo will be joining you. 

He simply stares at you, shame apparent on his face.

“You owe me an explanation at the very least.” You cross your arms in front of your chest as he clears his throat. 

“I thought he’d reward me.”

You laugh. A harsh dry sound 

“What could he have possibly given you that you couldn’t have just asked me for?” Your gaze never softens and you’re practically seeing red as you stare at him.

“I thought he’d give me a lordship.” 

You can’t help it as another crisp and pained laugh slips past your lips. 

“You thought Kodo would raise your status? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Is he an idiot? “He doesn’t see servants as people, if you wanted such a thing you could have asked me, maybe I could have done something.” 

A glimmer of something similar to hope flashes through his eyes. 

“Would you- would you consider doing so now?”

“You cannot be serious-” Your expression goes from fury to disbelief as you stand. 

“It seemed worth asking.” He puts his hands up defensively as you storm up to him, poking a finger into his face. 

“You slimy little weasel, it should be you on the chopping block, not him. If it were up to me I’d have them put your head on a spike.” The words pour out of you like venom. 

“I would be nicer to me if I were you.” He sneers and your incredulity only grows. You can’t help it, you scoff in his face. 

“I would rather die.” A part of you really means it. 

“You might if you aren’t careful, I saved your life by letting Elaine and your Mandalorian take the fall, I could have told the king that you were a willing participant. I saw the two of you together, I read your little rules. He never forced himself on you. I wonder what Kodo might think about that.” You aren’t a fighter, you’ve never so much as thrown a punch in your life but you grab him by the collar of his shirt and slam him into the wall, the back of his head hits the stone and you don’t feel an ounce of remorse as you do so. 

“Do it.” You tilt your head to the side, almost as if you’re taunting him. “Tell him.” Any of the confidence he briefly had is gone in an instant. “The moment you do I’ll tell him that you’re covering your tracks, and that you made a pass at me. I wonder how Kodo would reward you for trying to touch what’s his?” Leo’s head turns as you both hear Kodo’s piercing voice in the hall. You release your grip on his shirt, brushing off your gown as you turn towards the door. Kodo and three others make their way into the room as Leo coughs behind you. 

“Dear wife, I have another gift for you.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing at a line of three people you don’t give so much as a glance. He doesn’t even seem to notice the obvious tension in the room. “A new staff!”

“I don’t need a new staff, I’m fine on my own.” You abandon the pleasantries. You’re in such a state of upset right now, what's the point? 

“You’re the queen now, staff is required. These three will replace the ones you've lost in a week, until then Leodall will be training them intensively to tend to your every need. Two guards will also be assigned to you but I promise they will be much less loathsome than your Mandalorian.”

All five of them will be trained to keep an eye on you. To report back to Kodo, after everything with Din you should have known he’d keep you on a shorter leash. 

You barely look at them. 

You hate them. 

You shouldn’t, they’ve done nothing wrong, but you hate them. 

You give each one a quick up and down, naming them in your mind. 

A BD-3000 droid commands the most authority just based on how she stands so you mentally note her as Elaine's replacement. You’ll call her new Elaine. 

New Lysa is a pasty young blonde woman with rosy cheeks. You truly wonder how well informed she has been on your circumstance. She’s smiling from ear to ear and seemingly couldn’t be happier to be here. 

And new Leo is somehow even more nervous looking than actual Leo, practically shaking like a leaf at the sight of you. The bags under his eyes are worse than your own. A lanky thing with messy brown hair. 

There’s no reason for you to fight this, Kodo always gets his way so why bother. So you nod. You don’t pretend to be grateful this time, instead you shove your way past all of them, content to return to your room and never leave. 

☆

The morning of the execution comes before you’re ready for it. 

Of course you didn’t sleep last night, how could you?

You dress yourself, apparently your new staff isn’t starting until tomorrow, not that you mind another day to yourself. You manage to find something that isn’t blue, a gray dress trimmed with gold, the closest thing you’ll find to funeral attire. No one else will dress with any respect for him but they can’t stop you. Your vanity is destroyed so you don’t bother with your hair or your makeup, you simply don’t care enough. 

For the most part you feel nothing when you open the door, only emptiness until you look down. 

Someone left you a small vase of flowers. 

You pick them up, taking a closer look but your heart skips a beat when you do so.

Daisies. 

After a few short breaths you throw the vase into the wall across from your door, tiny shards of porcelain fly everywhere as two servants at the end of the hall give you a look of horror. Your shoes crunch over the remains of it as you make your way down the hall and to the entryway of the castle. 

Kodo insists that the two of you get to see him first. 

You’re sweating wildly out on the steps as you wait.

Long before you’re ready for it they bring him out. 

A shivering skeleton of a man with a linen bag over his head, immediately bile rises in your throat. Kodo is grinning ear to ear when his legs are kicked out from under him and he’s forced to kneel.

Kodo himself reaches forward and tears the bag off, too excited for any decorum or finesse. 

You gasp as you stare down at the broken man before you.

In all honesty he isn’t at all what you envisioned. 

His eyes verge on being hazel; they're such a light brown. You’d always pictured them to be nearly black. It doesn’t matter what color they are though, when you see the tears forming in his lash line you flinch, clutching the ring on your necklace to silently let him know silently just how much he means to you. 

He’s a mess. 

You don’t like looking at what those weeks in the dungeons did to him and the last thing you need to do right now is empty your stomach on the palace steps. 

He’s too thin. Far, far, too thin, it’s like his entire being has shrunk down. He’s hollow.

Your breath hitches when Kodo grabs a fistful of his dark hair, forcing him to turn and stare at the crowd. They must have cut it while he was down there it’s a mess, jagged edges and shorter than you’re used to. 

“This man has committed an act of treason against the crown.” His voice is loud and booming as the city goes quiet. “For such a crime he shall face the proper punishment.” He yanks him downawards, you watch in horror as Din’s head hits the stone, an incoherent mess of sounds pour from his bloody mouth and you have to look away. 

He didn’t want you to look.

You remind yourself to try and calm your breathing. You can hear the scuffle as they drag him to the guillotine, placing his neck into the wooden divot, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you turn to look. His eyes are everywhere but on you as he looks at the people around him, desperately pleading for his life. Not a single person so much as glances at him, afterall, it’s just nonsense, no one can understand him without a tongue. 

You can’t stand it, you almost cover your ears but you manage to resist as Kodo puts an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. 

“You’re welcome, sweet wife.” He whispers, his breath hot and wet against your ear. 

Fuck it. 

You don’t suppress the shudder in your spine as you shoot him a look of disgust. In a matter of moments everything you care about will be gone, why pretend any longer.

A bellowing chime plays from a nearby clock tower and you know it’s time, you straighten up as you stare at the guillotine in abject horror. 

This is it. 

Your chest rises and falls in sharp short bursts as everyone prepares themselves, a hush forming among the crowd on the street. 

And it begins, a chain reaction that you cannot stop now that the executioner has his ax raised above his head.

You had expected more. More time.

A part of you thought that time would slow, that you’d have a chance to stop it. 

But no. 

There is no epic fairy tale moment where the sun glimmers off of the blade and the executioner raises his ax, giving you this perfect moment to run to him, to shield him from the inevitable, to beg them to take you with him. 

That moment never comes. 

You barely have enough time to close your eyes like you promised him. In one unbroken motion the rope is cut, the blade falls and boom. 

Just like that, he’s gone. 

When you hear the metal slicing through the air you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing only the wet crunch as it cuts through flesh and bone. A soft, squishy thud when his head hits the stone. 

In fashion with your decision to no longer hide your disgust from Kodo you vomit. Bending down you puke onto the stones, spraying your own, and Kodo’s feet. The triumphant smile on his face vanishes as he realizes what’s happened. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand, refusing to look at Din’s limp body as you give Kodo one last look of detestation before turning around and running back into the castle, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.

The moment you’re inside the reality of it all settles in as you feel tears falling wildly as you run up the steps to your room.

☆

You have been good, and kind, and in return the maker rewarded you by killing the love of your life. 

So when you stand in the center of your demolished room you do the only thing your body can do at this point. 

You scream. 

From deep within your stomach, you scream, loud and raw. 

If anything was left unbroken in your room you’d be throwing it at the wall. But there’s nothing so you scream. 

You shriek.

You howl. 

And you wail.

You scream until there is no more noise. Your voice, like the rest of you, gives up. 

You aren’t sure how late it is when you finally stop. You’re tired and it’s dark outside and your throat is raw. 

And you lay on the floor. Because the bed is too big, and too cold, and the closet is so empty. So the only place left to sleep is there. You lay on the floor with no more tears to cry and no more sounds to scream as you stare at your bed, only from this angle can you see a rectangular shape under your bed frame. 

You wipe your nose with a stray piece of fabric before slowly crawling over to it, you sit on the floor and when you retrieve the item a brand new lump forms in your throat as you stare down at the box Din had bought all those days ago at the market. 

Your failsafe. 

With quivering hands you open it, staring into the small space containing a mess of items but what catches your eye is a piece of folded paper with your name on it. You take it between your fingers, opening it, careful to not let your tears fall onto it. 

Sarad’ika,

If you’re reading this then I’m afraid things aren’t going all that well for me. There are plenty of possible reasons as to why I’m no longer with you, but what’s important is that I plan on doing everything in my power to get back to you. There is only one thing in the galaxy that could keep me from your side, and if that is my fate then this box will ensure you’re taken care of. 

The most important thing is for you to get off this planet. I have included a few possible plans for you, do what you have to to survive. Elaine will help you escape. 

You can seek out Greef Karga on Nevarro. Tell him Din Djarin sent you, tell him what’s happened and he will see to it that you are cared for. Explain our circumstances and I am certain he will provide you with safe lodging. 

Tatooine is also an option. You’ll find a Mandalorian there by the name of Boba Fett, he will not turn you away. You will be protected there, if you need to relocate for some reason after that he will help you locate the Mandalorian convert. Show the Mandalorians your ring and you will be cared for the rest of your life, the convert will protect you. 

As an absolute last resort there is a planet located in the Outer Ring called Ossus. There is a school there, taught by a man named Luke Skywalker. I doubt he would be eager to take you in but you must insist. Bring the chainmail, they’ll know who sent you. Take care of each other. 

In this box you will find enough credits to get you off planet and take care of you for several months, a year if you’re frugal, I suggest you take a few jewelry pieces to pawn off for extra credits as well. You will find a small chainmail shirt, and a necklace of mine. 

And lastly you will find your vibroblade. 

Protect yourself. You’re strong, and more than capable of doing so.

I have one request for you, please, I will only ask this one thing of you. 

Be smart. 

You are the smartest and kindest person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Be smart, take care of yourself. If the roles were reversed I know that I would go to extremes to either get you back, or find justice for you. And all I can do is ask that you do not attempt any such thing, the only thing I would ever want for you is safety and happiness. 

So seek those things out. 

Be safe. Be happy.   

I was lucky to know you, and even luckier to be yours. 

an ner kar'taylir darasuum, 

Din

All my love. 

You flip the paper over, desperate for more, more Din, but all you find is scrawled coordinates to each location. Your fingers sift through the items, everything he promised is found inside but you latch onto the blade. Laying back down on the floor you clutch it between your fingers as you think of Din.

Din, who was yours.

Din, who they took from you.

Who Kodo, took from you. 

And your grip on the knife tightens. 

☆

Two guards stand outside your door round the clock now. 

They never follow you or come into your room but they’re there, silently watching as you direct all your anger at your new staff. As promised Leo trained them to be as persistent and infuriating as he was. 

When the two new girls come to fetch you in the morning you can’t help it when you scream at them to leave you alone and to stop trying to clean the ever growing mess of things. 

It doesn’t matter that it isn’t their fault, you can’t stand the sight of anyone. 

All three of them try. New Elaine and Lysa show up three times a day, trying to dress you and squeeze their way past you into the room but after enough shrieking they always leave you be. 

New Leo usually tries once or twice a day, you don’t even look at him. You always stare at the floor, when he tries to speak you give him the same treatment as the girls, screaming at him and slamming the door. 

Why should you let them in? You know what they are. They’re here to spy on you, to be Kodo’s eyes while he’s busy being king. They’re easy to evade. When you leave to fetch yourself food or a book from the library you easily outrun them. The two girls are worse at navigating the castle than you were when you first arrived and new Leo has a bad leg, sometimes he’ll make attempts to limp after you but they’re always unsuccessful. 

You think of nothing, day after day because there is nothing to think about. 

Except for the fact that Kodo took your future away from you. He took everything from you. 

If you thought time was blending before Din’s death nothing could have prepared you for now. You don’t track the days as well, you keep your curtains drawn and only leave when you get hungry or start to think of Din. The last thing you need to do is have another screaming fit so you keep him locked away in your heart, an ache that’s always there that you don’t address. 

One day, in a fit of tears you took your knife and decided on a whim to kill Kodo. You didn’t care about the repercussions at that point you just wanted him to suffer but the moment you opened the door you nearly tripped, stumbling backwards the guards didn’t so much as glance at you. 

Another vase of flowers.

You’re tempted to just kick them down the hall but you can’t help yourself when you lean down to pick them up. 

A bouquet of blue lilies. Your nose twitches at the sight of them, out of the corner of your eye you see new Lysa and new Elaine approaching so you take the opportunity to slam the little glass vase into the stone floor. Glaring at them when you do before returning to your room. 

☆

Maybe it’s been three days since Din died. 

Maybe it’s been three months. 

You aren’t sure.

You aren’t sure when you made plans to kill Kodo either but suddenly you have them. A fool proof way to get him alone. 

And suddenly you’re dressed for the first time in, well, however long it’s been. In a baby blue nightie with a robe you march out into the hall. The guards watch in silence as you walk away, your bare feet scampering down the stairs until you find yourself watching the main entrance. Waiting for your loving husband to make his nightly trip to a pleasure house, a trip that is typically accompanied by guards. 

You grip the handle of the knife in your pocket as you wait until you finally hear footsteps approaching. 

“Kodo, honey?” You step out from behind the stone column, holding your robe closed as you bat your eyelashes at him. He stumbles around drunkenly until his eyes focus on you. 

You’ve only used your voice for screaming for so long you sound meek, exactly as you want to right now. 

“Wife?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to join me tonight…” You hold a hand out towards him, putting on a sickly sweet tone of innocence. His mouth twists into a grin. 

“I knew you’d come around eventually.”

He doesn’t question where you’re taking him, he simply follows.

What a joke. 

You pull him up the stairs, you know from hide and seek where to find an empty room so you guide him there in calculated silence until he trips a bit, laughing to himself as he stutters.

“I knew if I got rid of the Mandalorian you’d realize how much better I am than him.” The statement doesn’t sit right with you and he can see it on your face, even in his drunken state he can sense your confusion. 

You both stop, you’re above him on the stairs as you turn and stare into his eyes.

“You- you knew?”

He simply nods, that sickening smile of his is plastered on his face. His icy blue eyes shimmer with delight. 

“How long?”

“When Leo told me I remembered everything. That little altercation in the hall when your boy knocked me out came right back to me, from there it wasn’t hard to figure out.” Your eye twitches as he speaks.

He knew you loved him and he took him from you anyway.

Any hesitations you had are gone as you nod, pulling him onward until you reach the large vacant tower room. He’s so drunk you decide to just drop the voice, pointing at a spot on the floor. 

“Lay down.” You mumble, reaching into your pocket once more.

He eagerly does as he’s told, laying down on the cold stone, you take a deep breath, in one swift motion you grab your knife, holding it behind your back as you toss your robe aside. He gives you a toothy grin as you ever so slowly walk to him, standing above him before sitting, straddling his waist. 

You look him up and down, one last time. 

Your loving husband. 

One of his hands plays with the blue lace of your nightie as you collect yourself. You look up at the ceiling briefly. 

I’m sorry. 

Not for Kodo, but for Din. This is exactly what he didn’t want you to do. 

You aren’t a killer. And you aren’t hateful, but a person can only be pushed so far before something breaks. 

Be smart. 

You think of Din’s note one last time before you bring the blade out in front of you and slam the blade into Kodo’s chest. 

He makes a sickly wet sound, coughing as he stares at you in shock.

You remove the knife, the hot steel cauterizes his wounds, there isn’t so much as a drop of blood as your face twists with fury and you bring it down again into his stomach now. 

How dare he look surprised by any of this. 

After what he took from you? He deserves galaxies worse. 

So you remove the knife. 

And you stab him again.

And again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again.

Until there is no more shocked look on his face. You don’t have a snarky remark or a statement to commemorate your revenge, you’re all used up at this point, all you have is this, this stabbing motion. 

He didn’t even have a chance to fight back.

You crawl off of his body, sitting on the stones as you toss the knife to the side, waiting for a rush of euphoria. 

But it never comes. 

It doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would. 

Staring down at Kodo’s lifeless body. You let yourself crumble. Collapsing down onto the floor, gasping for air as you sob. 

This was never going to bring him back. 

You lay there on your hands and knees for quite some time, just wailing, because what else are you supposed to do right now? You realize far too late that this was never an act of malice, some demented and shattered part of you thought that this would somehow bring him back, that it would give you peace. 

They won’t execute you. 

You planned this exactly so they wouldn’t.

Kodo didn’t tell anyone about your relationship with Din in much detail, not enough for them to assume that you could be with child. Everyone will assume that it’s Kodo’s. They won’t kill you, they can’t. 

Not if they think you’re carrying Kodo’s child. Now that Kodo’s dead, there’s no one to tell the royal family that you never consummated your marriage, your child is the most well protected person on the planet. The future monarch. It’s almost funny, you haven’t permitted yourself to think about the stirring within you as a child until just now, in this moment of weakness. A child, your child. 

Who will most likely grow up without a mother because of the decisions you've made today.

You bite your fist, swallowing a scream as you sit back on your heels. 

Your child will never know how loved they were. Your little one will never get to sit beside their mother while their father teaches them to sew. You put your head in your hands as you wail, no longer caring who hears. Your fate is sealed, what does it matter? 

You don’t turn when you hear someone coming up the stairs. When they pull you into their arms you try uselessly to shove them away. Your vision is blurry and filled with tears as you stare up at the unfamiliar figure now holding you. They rub your back, drawing swirls and stars against your spine as they pull you closer. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” They mumble into your hair. You dry your eyes hastily on your sleeve, confused by the voice you’re hearing, it’s painfully familiar, on instinct you wrap your arms around their torso, pulling yourself into their lap as you both sit on the floor beside Kodo’s body. “You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whisper against the stranger's shirt. You knew you weren’t hateful. You’re certain of it now because even though he took quite literally everything from you, you still feel bad when you look at Kodo. 

A large hand cups your face, pulling you back to their chest so you can’t see the corpse anymore. 

“I didn’t mean it- I- I didn’t mean to kill him. Well I did but I just-” You begin to ramble as a fresh flood of tears begin sliding down your cheeks. 

“Hey- hey it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. We gotta get you cleaned up, okay? I’ll take care of this, I’ll fix it.” Their arms tighten around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You finally find the courage to look at your companion and it takes a moment for you to even realize who you’re looking at. 

New Leo. 

Why would he help you? You treat him like shit. When you look at him he looks like he’s about to cry and for the first time since Din was taken from you drop the walls you’ve put up and you let yourself feel bad for him. You show an ounce of kindness to him because in all honesty he’s the first person to make you feel safe since the night Din was taken from you. 

A lighthouse while you sail through a storm.

So you hug him. 

You pull yourself closer to him and you offer him a comfort you haven’t known for days.

“I’m sorry… for all of it, but especially the flowers, I should have told you, I just- you wouldn’t let me and the guards wouldn’t let me in without your permission and you just wouldn’t look at me.” He begins to mumble his own apologies, sending a surge of confusion through you. 

You furrow your brows, pulling back once more giving him a perplexed look as you search his nearly black eyes for some kind of answer. 

And it clicks. 

All at once it snaps into place and you want to say his name, so desperately, but you’re terribly afraid of being wrong. 

And then he smiles. A soft smile that makes you feel okay and you don’t even care if you’re wrong and you don’t care if it doesn’t make sense you just have to ask.

“Din?”

☆

a/n : yeah so uhhhhh yeah uhhhh this is the first chapter i've ever written where im actually very fond of the writing and nervous about the plot stuff so im gonna go hide?? and just vanish for a while lol

//

I don't have a tag list anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!!

[sharp-silver4795]

Hello!! So I’m pretty sure you haven’t answered a question like this,, (I haven’t read that much of thine content .I’m sorry😔) so I’m just gonna ask

The goggle boys (Cody & Toby)(& yes I’d rather pull my own hair out than type ‘bois’ just seeing the word fills me with a kind of rage ) have more in common than their name; they both have incredibly, vastly different to each individual person, although it is much more common to see for Toby..😅

So uhh could you share with us their personalities in your au/headcanon please

🙏

Toby + Cody Personality HCs

Omg! Ofc! I haven’t gotten a lot of asks, and I don’t have many actual posts- most of them are reblogs XD

And uhhh sorry to break this to you, but I say “boi(s)” all the time 😅

I don’t think I need any warnings here-

Sorry if this isn’t great lol I suck at personalities

Cody

A cocky little shit, but not in a completely bad way-

He more just likes to humble people.

He’s a field proxy and tends to go out in more missions than the high proxy himself (Toby).

He has enough experience to make people look stupid, and he loves doing it just to have those embarrassing and awkward moments (for them).

If you’re on his good side, he’s a big goof.

His sense of humor doesn’t make any sense and that’s why it’s funny

He isn’t too short-fused, but if you push him too much get ready for the biggest verbal beat down of your life.

He’s really smart, ofc.

He is good at manipulating people. Whether he uses it for good or evil is up to him. He really doesn’t do it often tbh

He got the name X Virus from the first concoction he made that he called “Virus X.” It would late be called “the changing death” due to how it changes based on how people react to it and how it is administered.

He thinks he’s slick, but he never is- he’s clumsy as hell.

He’s really easy to get along with, but not in a boring way.

He’s an ok listener… he’s a little scatterbrained at times, but if you catch him on a good day or really drill to him that it’s serious he will give you his undivided attention.

Bud is a gentleman. Whether the other person is a man, woman, or anything in between he drinks all the respect juice.

Despite his charm and humor, he is socially awkward. He can’t talk to new people without making himself look like a whole entire fool.

Man likes to try to be an edge lord but will cry if he actually offends you

He is secretly a sweet summer child…

Toby

He is the happy medium between knowing what he’s capable of and humble at the same time.

Toby is surprisingly serious. His humor is either really fucking hilarious or just dry as hell.

He just isn’t good at making jokes verbally.

But he is good at making jokes when it requires action.

For example, he was practicing accuracy and precision with Kat (Kat uses a gun and he uses an axe- duh). Kat got full bullseye. Toby’s response was to hit the tip of the axe blade in the exact place that the bullet hit. He then comically bowed to him.

It was a good laugh for everyone. No one’s feelings were hurt.

He can’t read the room very well, so he has friends do it for him (namely Jeff and Clockwork) and explain it in simple words.

Before I say anything else, I do this IRL with my friends bc I can’t read the room. I don’t see this as calling Toby stupid or infantilizing him at all. This is something that I feel he would do just cuz… head cannons 🤷

Ok, back to head cannons-

He is chronically sleep deprived.

He’s a great listener. If you need to vent, he’s the perfect person to go to. (This is the main reason him and Cody are so close)

He takes shit from no one

While he’s on the job, he seems very cold and rude at times, but he just takes his job kinda seriously.

He is the kind of person that starts something, leaves it on the desk or smthn, and never comes back to finish it and then randomly in the day with just be like: “OH SHIT-”

Sorry if it’s not great, when ppl ask me for personality shit I’m always confused as to what to fucking say. Anyway-

Hope this was ok!!! Have a good day/night/whatever the fuck it is for you! 💜

[spacequokka]

Monsta X Kinks & Turn-Ons

@iibonniee​ Hide ya brain cells. I’m back with another kinky shit post that’ll likely end up with Monbebes throwing me in a closet.

Hyunwoo || Venus: Gemini, Mars: Taurus || Turn On: Control

Mr. Traditional. Likes fun and variety with witty conversation. He’s a sensual guy, but it takes a lot to get him going. Try harder, baby. He can be romantically impulsive. Likes to please and tease at his own place. Just give him the reins, you know you want to.

Minhyuk || Venus: Libra, Mars: Scorpio || Turn On: Foreplay

Mr. Idealistic. He’s willing to make your relationship by conceding and adjust his life to accommodate you. Loves to share everything with you, but don’t take advantage of it! Treats you exactly how he wants to be treated. Has a taste for mature partners. He’s a hopeless romantic who loves a challenge and finds it difficult to share his partners. Not saying he’s against it. Just might struggle to watch you. He’s attracted to “taboos” and wild fantasies, so share yours with him. Pretty sure he’s down to try it. He’s got stamina for days and enjoys submissive partners.

Kihyun || Venus: Scorpio, Mars: Sagittarius || Kink: Shibari Bondage

Our resident kink master. He’s intense as fuck. That prince charming grin is a trap. “Isn’t afraid of getting his mind dirty.” Excuse me, wtf. Penny for his thoughts. Never gives up. “Strong sexual powers.” So he’s what, the Harry Potter of sex? I have several questions. He’s blunt and eager, amorous and sensual. We knew that tho. He tends to focus on his partner with laser precision and you know what requires that much attention to detail? Shibari. It’s its own art form and I can see him being a HUGE fan of it. He can get possessive to the point of jealousy if you don’t prove your loyalty to him. All the dom vibes. Fight me. Though he’s not incapable of giving you control once he feels secure enough in your relationship. Good luck.

Hyungwon || Venus: Capricorn, Mars: Capricorn || Turn On: Someone willing to ride

The Pillow Prince. He’s a realist and will be “upfront” with you. He’ll try to win you over by showing you he has self-control (it’s a trap) and likely bait you into doing most of the work. He’s a romantic looking for a soulmate, and when he thinks he’s found The One, you’ll see him exerting more of his precious energy. Shy but willing to commit. Wants to show you off in a quiet way. And the sex? Keep it nasty if you can.

Jooheon || Venus: Scorpio, Mars: Leo || Kink: Praise (Receiving)

No one is shocked by this. Has a strong need for a partnership. 🥺 Someone cuff him. Like Kiki, he gets possessive and makes it his mission to ruin you. Get you addicted to him through pleasure and commitment, body and soul. Sign me tf up. Wants to explore every inch of you, inside and out, but will guard his secrets until he feels he can trust you with them. Another guy prone to jealousy but it's because he’s so devoted to you and he’ll fight dirty to win your heart. Borderline nympho as he’s easily turned on (no fr, tell him he did a good job) and will give it to you anywhere (like, say the backseat of his car). Honey acts with his heart and goes all in.

Changkyun || Venus: Pisces, Mars: Aquarius || Turn On: The Art of Seduction

Our Lone Wolf favors instant gratification except when it comes to choosing a partner, even if it's just for one night. He’s straightforward (ofc), dreamy and soft-hearted. Can be sweetly playful when he starts to fall for you. He does have a Captain Save-a-Hoe complex so you gotta make sure he’s attracted to you and not your situation. Expect lots of tender moments and romance. Extra points if you’re older. Likes surprising you with his open-mindedness. Don’t just give in; make him work for it. He’ll delight you with his wit and determination and turn you out in bed.

Hoseok || Venus: Aries, Mars: Cancer || Kink: Breeding, Switch

Mr. Thirst Trap. This shameless flirt has a childish charm, and he uses it like a weapon. You will not survive. He loves to tease and is looking for an energetic partner to keep up with his stamina. Requires plenty of stimulation and likes to lead and please you. Just trust him. Reacts spontaneously and intensely to the Object of Obsessive Horniness and will make it known. Though he doesn’t want kids, he still gets a kick out of the thrill and possessiveness of stuffing you with cum. 

[willthespy]

How to anatomy?

okok i have been putting off replying to this because I’m shit at explaining and also mess up anatomy myself A LOT, but here’s some tips that have helped me.

Watching your surroundings/people IRL. I think this kind of requires for you to be more of a visual thinker, but this especially helps me with facial anatomy. You can also use pictures for this, in which you just… look. Looking and copying again and again really helps, but you gotta know how to look.

I think the most important things to study are the general sizes (of limbs, hands, etc.) and to play around with it a bit, which is easier if you are a digital artist. Then also the muscles and the shapes of every separate part. Also where they connect. For example where the arm connects to the torso and how that looks in different positions.

I also see a lot of people use thick lines in their first sketch, which I genuinely think doesn’t help. Loose, sketchy lines allow you to get a better feel of what you’re making and allows you to build a shape, rather than conforming to one shape at once. Sure, that’s got nothing to do with anatomy, but it helps when studying.

Art references. And also tracing and copying, but in a way that you don’t trace precisely, but check for general rules and use it to study the anatomy. Once again, sketching over instead of harsh tracing helps you understand easier and better imo. By tracing I also mostly mean the body, and I think you shouldn’t rely on it entirely, hence why it’s a study. You learn from it so you can stray away from actual references.

I also look at myself a lot. If I’m confused how an arm stretches? I’ll test it out. This adds onto the looking at others tip.

Breaking the (human) body down into simpler shapes for the sketch and working with lines to measure and guide? in a way (especially in the face area and to determine a clear middle throughout your subject’s body.

LOOKING AT ANCIENT GREEK (or inspired) STATUES. They were genius, I swear. They’ve helped me personally whenever I actually study anatomy to create more fluid and life-like poses, even if I do in fact fail to apply that to my art occasionally.

Limbs and other body parts aren’t straight, but actually more fluid, which is important to know. Of course stylization is a thing, but this fact helped me a lot. Also looking at how ‘fat’ is distributed between afab and amab people (generally) can be nice information to know, which adds to the muscle knowledge.

Practice…. so much practice….. I myself try to draw almost daily, but you also shouldn’t wear yourself out. Don’t draw if you can’t at the moment, but when you feel okay enough to do so, I do think studying helps a lot, even when you just draw a similar pose over and over again. Drawing shouldn’t be a chore, so from experience, don’t force yourself and be dumb like me and overwork the tiny artist working in your brain.

These are just a few! I might have more but I’m tired. If there’s more specific questions or more visual examples and stuff needed, I’ll definitely reply faster though… hopefully.

[ezrazone]

hello, huge admirer of your work & words in general

do you have any advice/ just thoughs for artists in their early 20s trying to make a living off of their passions in the current climate? i think you have very interesting perspective

thank you for the lovely message! i must admit though this entire question is made up of phrases i generally (but compassionately, not indifferently) shrug my shoulders at.

i’m never sure what to say to people asking for career advice specifically, especially people whose particular circumstance and desired field i don’t know. i’m also not sure what to say to anyone in their early 20s that has to do with that life period in particular, since it’s so different for everybody. i have good friends in their early 20s as well as comics students that age, but i don’t have age-specific wisdom for them since i’m not that much older than they are! my early 20s were spent beginning my transition and working a string of back-breaking jobs that i would happen to quit at precisely the right time to qualify for lockdown-era increased unemployment benefits (BERNIE BUCKS!!!!). remember how the united states showed its hand that it could use all the superprofits that it extracts thru blood all around the world to create a cushy welfare state for millions of people but only did it for a few months (partly because it sought to increase repression again after the george floyd uprisings)? anyway.... during that brief period of financial peace i was able to shape up my portrait skills and find the beginnings of my voice as a cartoonist. i wish i could gift that to everybody. every person deserves periods of quiet to figure out what they're doing. the truth is just that i got very lucky. so i'm not interested in being an aspirational symbol if anyone is under the impression that my advice can guarantee an artmaking practice that might resemble the one i have found for myself. i guess when i think about your phrase, "make a living off of their passions", i just want to reassure you that no matter your circumstances, the value of your passions is not dictated by your ability to make a living off of them. like let's just unpack the phrase "make a living" and pause for a moment to feel just a smidgen of how violent this cultural pay-to-play arrangement is. whenever possible, you should make money in whatever way will crush your spirit the least while meeting the needs that you have. my priority is always pursuing the maximum amount of freedom; sometimes that means freedom from losing my mind about rent every month, so i need to pick up a few shifts as a house manager at a local theater. sometimes that freedom means thinking about hot draculas the entire time i'm working at the theater. sometimes it means ending a project! i also really want to encourage every artist, if i possibly can, to attempt in their every day life and in their work to divest from the REAL CAREER vs. HOBBY psychic binary as much as possible. always. forever, until the distinctions explode. the truth of the matter, as i understand it, is not just that the best things in life are free or fucking whatever, but that the most meaningful ways you can spend your time do not necessarily involve deliberately optimizing your goddamn personal brand. you never need to be embarrassed about not spending enough time doing art, as if your status as an artist is paid for in any kind of labor that you can simply increase until the A in Artist becomes capitalized. to believe that would require a belief that everyone who is universally regarded as an Artist has simply worked hard enough. that's a myth and we know better. what horseshit! and as an adult i have also learned that periods of deep rest are often more enriching to me than periods of work. and even when i am employed up to my gills i am always cultivating the wise and endless spirit of a NEET. i am passionate about my art but i am also passionate about my life, and i welcome art in when it is actually viable and beneficial for me to do so. the only actual art-career-specific advice i will tell everyone though is: think bigger than fame as a protective suit (like, thinking that if you can just get a big enough audience you will be OK forever) and solo-written graphic novels (or whatever the "look what i did all by myself" equivalent is in your industry) and the fucking psychic wedgie that is relying on commissioned illustrations to survive.

there are grants that you can discover via many search engines that may allow you to fund the art career you actually want. do you want to teach? you get to teach. do you want to host reading nights? you can do that, too. i cannot tell you how much time i wasted trying to squeeze the things i was actually interested in into an "art career" shape that had little to nothing to do with what actually fed my life.

also: other artists are the greatest gift to all artists. your contribution to something is never diminished by another person's work. i think the best way to come back to this for myself as a cartoonist is to just initiate jam comic sessions (drawing panels back and forth to create one-page stories). little else brings me back down to earth as fast as passing a piece of paper back and forth with @tomb-of-madeline lol

i hope any kernel of this is helpful to you. i wish you the best on your journey, and i'd love to know what you end up making if we connect again anytime in the future.*

*there is no deadline to anything i have said here. you do not need to impress me ever and certainly not anytime soon.

oh and if you are a comics person i have a three-part lecture available to watch for free called experimental mini-comics for all! a lot of what i’ve said here is also there if only in spirit lol my attitude towards artmaking is fairly consistent in these regards

ezra

[lolitakirstein]

Hey Neighbor Pt 8

A/N Sorry this is long with a lot of dialogue don't even know if it's good ugh

{previous}

cw: mentions of weapons wc: 1.5k

Toji

“A phone call in advance would’ve been nice,” Toji says, allowing his visitor to enter. 

“Couldn’t wait,” the man states, his hands clutching the briefcase behind his back. “This just came in and requires extraordinary expertise and precision.”

The two men walk to the kitchen, both taking seats opposite one another. Though in the intimate setting of his house, Toji knew he was here for business. “I take it you don’t want a drink.”

The man chuckles, “Perhaps once this is completed.” He sets the briefcase on the table and enters the 3-number key. “I would however like to see my godson. Where is—”

“SHIU!” Megumi rushes in excitedly. 

“Ah, there’s my boy,” Shiu bellows in equal excitement. The stoicism and business facade immediately fade.  He picks the child up with a grunt and sets him on his lap. “You are getting big, pup.”

Megumi giggles at the nickname. “I’m not a pup, I’m a wolf.” He mimics a wolf’s howl. 

Shiu pats his head, “Ah, the mighty wolf. Mostly prone to travel in large groups.” He glances up at Toji. “Though some are known to stray from the pack.”

Toji glares, aware of the obvious dig. 

“We’re not alone. We got you, Shiu,” Megumi’s comment breaks the tension. “And we got y/n,” he lowers his voice and leans into Shiu, “That's dad's girlfriend.”

“I see,” Shiu again stares at Toji, this time with a look of both confusion and annoyance. 

Toji responds with an eye roll. “Megs, go to your room for a bit. Gramps and I have some business things to do.”

“I am not gramps!” Shiu quickly blurts back, which sends Megumi into a fit of giggles. Toji, however, isn’t up to joke. He gives Megumi the look that quickly tells the child that this isn’t playtime. 

Once Toji hears the door to Megumi’s room shut, he takes a deep breath. “So, what are we looking at here.”

Shiu opens the briefcase, presenting Toji with a thick manila folder. “The usual. But the window of opportunity we have—”

“Me.” Toji corrects.

“You have is very small. Meaning—”

“I have one shot.” Toji finishes in a bored tone. “What else is new.”

“This target has been of interest for some time. Most who have gone after him are usually shot within a 500-foot radius.”

“So you need a sniper?”

“I did say we needed precision.”

“What’s his deal?” Toji asks, flipping through the folder. Pictures from CCTV footage and shakey smartphones paint a very broad image of the target—tall, slender build, blonde. 

“Big name in tech, took over after his father died. The other son is scorned, but you know we don’t go into too much detail, nor do we ask. They hire us and we do our job”

“I do the job,” Toji corrects, again. 

“And you do it well.”

“How long will I be gone?” Toji continues flipping through the files, pocketing the provided fake passport and plane ticket. 

“3 weeks, we want you to have ample time to scout the area. Where he goes and when. There can’t be any mistakes.”

“And my son?�� Toji looks up from the papers. 

“Of course, he will be staying with me. You may be on the outskirts of our society, but we still wish to protect our own while they are working. Our in-house nanny is superb at her job, both as a sitter and protection. I provided you with her credentials as well.” he gestures to the pages. 

“That’s a long time away” Toji remarks. “How much is this man paying?”

“Though he’s not as wealthy as his older brother, his father left him a good chunk of money in his will—”

“How much,” Toji was getting impatient. 

“$500,000. And to show his confidence in you and apologies for the short notice,”  Shiu turns the briefcase around to Toji. “He made a downpayment.”

Indeed, the briefcase was lined with stacks of crisp 100s. Toji swallowed. He can’t remember the last time a client had paid a portion upfront. Collateral maybe, but never cash. 

“$300,000. Thats—”

“60%. That’s suspicious. Are you sure this isn’t a setup? Are you sure these aren’t fake or marked?” Toji gently runs a finger over the bills, feeling for the telltale sign that it's fake. 

“We had eyes on the bank.” Shiu answers, confidently. “So are you in?”

“Mind if I check,” Toji asks, still not convinced.

Shiu gestures to the money, “Be my guest. Though I’m rather insulted you would think I would fall for a scam.”

Ignoring him,  Toji walks to the hallway closet. The small space housed various coats and toys of Megumi’s. He pushes aside the clothes. The wall at the back of the closet would appear normal to anyone else–basic wood paneling. Toji traces his finger along one slat of the wood, finding the slight give and pressing it. 

 A small portion of the wall retracts, revealing a safe locked by a keycode. After entering the key code, the thick metal door opens. Inside are various passports, stacks of cash, guns, and accessories. He pushes aside the knives sheathed in sleek leather. Once finding the detector, he returns to the kitchen. 

Toji turns on the LED, aiming the purple light at the briefcase. The bills show up clean. “Nothing,” Toji grumbles.

“I told you,” Shiu crosses his legs. 

“Doesn’t mean the ones underneath aren’t or the one in between” Toji continues to scan the stacks, all turning up clean. After his meticulous searching, Toji turns off the light. “I’ll put it through the counter, check every single one–”

“You’ve always been thorough,” Shiu jokes, standing and straightening his suit jacket. “So are you in?”

Toji mulls it over. Finally, after a few moments, he complies, “Yeah, I’m in.”

“Great the car to pick Megumi up will arrive the night before. Flight information and itinerary are all there.” Shiu strides to the door, opens it, and stands on the front porch. His eyes are on y/n’s house. “Is she aware yet?”

“No, not yet,” Toji joins him on the porch.

Shiu widened his eyes. “What is causing the delay.”

“I” 'm trying to leave this way of life, why would I want to bring an innocent woman into it, regardless of contracts.” 

“She is rather…fawn-like. But I think with proper training she could be a great addition to carry on her family name,” Shiu takes a long drag, blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth. “Or perhaps the two of you could produce—.”

“Megumi can carry my name just fine in a life that doesn’t consist of looking behind his back.” Toji retorted, narrowing his eyes.

“Of course. Megumi is an exceptional child. Regardless if his mother wasn’t of our kind, and remember, I fought for you harder than anyone to be able to live outside of this society. Luckily, the higher-ups thought you to be such a precious asset the thought of losing your…services is why you now live so comfortably on the periphery.” 

“Comfortably,” Toji tsks, “worrying about my son every second; how I’m going to be able to know he’s safe once he starts attending public school.”

“You could easily come back which would guarantee his safety at our school.” Shiu bargains. 

“I told you. I’m done with that life. Megumi will get a choice in what he wants to do with his life. He deserves it and so does she,” Toji jerks his head gesturing to y/n’s house. 

“She seems very…present in your life, already. Even Megumi seems to think so.” 

Toji rolls his eyes, “She’s been here a few times, that’s it. She watched Megumi one day and—”

“You put her in charge of watching Megumi? Very trusting of you.” Shiu interrupts, his cigarette dangling from his lips. 

“It was a few hours,” Toji said. “And he needs some female interactions every once in a while. I can’t play the role of mother very well.”

“Already considering her for a mother figure,” Shiu continues, smiling wryly. 

“Are we done here?” Toji turns back to the door, wanting to end the conversation. 

Shiu knows when to quit, at least, because he tips his head goodbye and lopes down the stairs, heading for his black sedan. 

He turns halfway before getting into the passenger side door that is being held open by a man in a similar suit though 30lbs worth of muscle heavier. “I do suggest you make her aware of your agreement with her grandmother. You know how our dear Mrs. Ruth hated a procrastinator.”

Toji doesn’t respond, instead, crossing his arms and waiting for the car to drive Shiu away. 

“And do not underestimate how powerful the two of you could be together. A child from two strong lines would be world-renowned.”

Again, Toji didn’t respond. He watches the driver return to the driver's seat and drive off down the road. Once sure he was indeed gone for good, Toji reenters his house. 

He doesn’t know how to broach the subject of his agreement with y/n. But 2 things were for damn sure. 

She would get a choice, unlike him. 

There was no fucking way any child of his, either the one he has now or any in the future, would be ever handed over to the people he was trying to leave behind.

[knightyoomyoui]

Dahyun x M Reader - “Everlasting Love”

HAPPY 50K READS TO THIS BOOK AND HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR JJANG DUBLANGDUNGIE BABY SUPERHERO, KIM DAHYUN! #HAPPYDAHYUNDAY2023💞🎈🎉

New update with a new genre that I'll be trying here for the first time in my book! Pardon me if it's lacking magic, I still did my best to tell and explain the story clear and precise like I always do because that's what it matters the most for me.

Oh, and also. Beware because for sure, some of you while reading this would feel very uncomfy and sensitive at the "backstory" part. So... I have to put another trigger warning for you guys. Don't worry with th story being mixed with angst, because the ending itself anyway will be a fluff!

Lastly, you will be portraying here with a name "Yoon Seo-joon". This is also my first story here that you as a reader wouldn't be required to use your own name. Also, this is going to be narrated in a third-person perspective and one of my longest one-shots in this book.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of murder and rape.

A fine Saturday morning has became a start of another busy days for Detective Yoon Seo-joon when he received a duty calls coming from his station who assigned him a new case to work in.

Driving his Toyota Corolla Red 2018, he drove through the location where the said report originated. His car's acceleration slowed down, granting him to peek at the arch gateway that says "Gyeonggi-do", one of the villages here in the city of Seongnam, South Korea.

The guard performed a quick monitoring on him, immediately allowing him to enter when he presented the guard his police badge and license along with his own reason that concerns this place.

He continued to roll the wheel while keeping himself guided by the navigation map. Shortly after, the destination welcomes him as he finally arrived at this one particular spot where he could park his car safely while the person who wants to meet him is just right there waiting for him patiently.

Stepping out of the car, Seojun grasped his keys and took some belongings with him that would be needy in his investigation as he approached the villager anticipating to meet him.

"Glad that you agreed to spare some time for us to meet, detective. I'm Moon Hae-il.", the man initiated a handshake to the official who gratefully accepted.

"No worries, it's just simply part of my job to entertain some clients." Seojun smiled and gave a modest nod. "And I'm Detective Yoon Seojun, the one who will take over and help you with this report you sent to us."

"Thank you so much, detective. We are really in desperate need of assistance about this problem that currently occurs in our neighborhood here." Hae-il said with anxiety in his tone of voice.

"As what the report mentions here, you said that there's an ongoing disturbance being caused by one of the residents here that affects you and the others around here. Mind if you elaborate more? Like, what is this? Is this resident consist of a family who some sort of like fight often?"

"Actually, no detective." Hae-il shook his head, denying the guess. "They aren't a family. In fact, I don't even know how can I tell you this without being sounding... weird."

"What? Why did you think so?" Seojun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"It's not a they, detective. It's just a single person. A she."

"And where's the weird part there?"

Hae-il didn't replied and instead gulped his throat. He sighed before looking again at Seojoon. "Just follow me please."

Seojoon squinted his eyes as he walked behind Hae-il still trying to process and wonder why does this villager seemed so bothered and nervous discussing about that certain matter. He observes the rest of the citizens who are just peacefully doing their random things while the others are looking at him and Hae-il, probably understanding what they're going to do today.

Hae-il and Seojoon stops in front of a locked huge metal gate that secures what it seems to be an unoccupied manor. The ambience is eerie and quiet, only the sounds of rustling trees, his and Hae-il breaths joining the whip of the cold wind and the gate being unlocked with a twist of the key.

The two entered the property. Seojoon quickly stated his observation at the situation around here. "Why did we just came here without the occupant's permission? Is she not at home?"

Hae-il paused his steps and slowly turned at Seojoon with a troubled expression. "That's the weird part, detective. She's here and definitely even right now, but... we couldn't see her."

Seo-joon became more puzzled, his frown deepened at what the complainant is pertaining. "What?"

"I'm telling you detective that, we are dealing with something paranormal here."

Seojoon's eyes largened as he stared at Haeil in disbelief after hearing that today's investigation to kickoff his new case to solve would be very unique and completely contrast to the previous ones he had before... because this time, the alleged suspect was revealed to be someone who doesn't truly exist anymore but the presence remains unrest.

"Wait wait, hold on." Seojoon chuckled, hands forward as he gestured on Haeil. "You're telling me that you made me come all the way here to ... to do not just an ordinary investigation for a criminal case, but a ghost hunting?"

"I-I told you it would be weird, and I'm not forcing you to help us detective but we would very appreciate if you do. This is something that puts us haunted every single night and we can't live pleasantly not when this keeps occuring." Haeil said, rising intonation of voice gets obvious with the way he's sounding like as if he's pleading for Seojoon to stay.

To be honest, Seojoon was hesitant to proceed with this case; since this is first time that he would face something like this alone and without any colleague to be there on his side; but hearing Haeil's actual condition along with the people of Gyeonggi about this phenomenon is effectively convincing him to learn more about this case and take the opportunity for a new experience to have.

He took this dream job of his with one purpose, and that is to serve and provide the need of assistance to people who rightfully needs it as soon as possible. Declining this case would make it feel for Seojun as if he's abandoning that responsibility and betraying his role that has been smooth and clean since the past few years when he became a detective.

Forming up his final decision, he sighed and looked at Haeil intently as he takes off his notepad and ballpen.

"Tell me more about it."

Haeil huffed in relief and tenderly smiled at Seojoon while clutching his hands together in result of a granted hope. "Thank you so much, detective! This means a lot to us." Seojoon just nodded, silently appreciating the grateful reaction to his service in response.

"So uhm to answer your question detective, some of us who lives near this house shared that they sometimes hear a screaming and wailing with a woman-like sound; which led us to think that the ghost who haunts this house is a woman."

"And they mostly hear it at night?"

"Yes."

Seojoon gritted his teeth, just imagining about it sends chills already down to his spine.

"What more instances they encountered this strange act?"

"Some residents who walked or pass through the entrance would just randomly hear a loud banging from the door, even their children told them that while they're playing few inches away from here, they said they had a glimpse of a shadowy figure of that woman standing in the window." Haeil additionally explained.

"Jesus, poor kids. They must be terrified." Seojoon reacted while he takes down notes in his notepad.

"Indeed they are. They became terrified too. Now barely all of us couldn't dare to stand close in this place, even me... but I don't have any choice. I own this so I had to."

"Wait, you are the landlord of this house and lot?"

"Yes, detective. This belongs to other properties that I own and sell in this village, but ofcourse; this turned out to be my most cursed possession." Haein said in dismay as he glances at the exterior of the structure. "I do admit that I'm planning to demolish this house, maybe to set that spirit free... but what I heard from their stories prompted me to hold it for a while, and that brought me here with you today detective."

"What did the residents mentioned to you also?"

"They said that they can specifically hear only one word throughout those screams that woman creates: help." Haeil said. Seojoon looked at him curiously. "So I figured that maybe... whoever that woman is, she's sending us signal in request to help her about something...

"Justice." Seojoon interrupted. "It's making sense to me now. You summoned me here to take the job by bringing that to whoever this woman who seems to be a lost soul of a victim that either coincidentally took place in your land."

Haein got shocked and nervous. "You're saying that... there's a possible crime of murder that happened here?"

"You don't know?"

"No. I have no idea, I truly believed that my house is perfectly fine and cozy for people who wants to live there... and they seem to be alright without any intentions of murdering somebody and stain blood on my property." Haeil neglected.

"There's more than meets the eye, Haeil." Seojoon reminded. "And looks can fool us anytime, because we couldn't read what they've been hiding deep inside that differs from what they show from the outside."

Seojoon steps closer at the staircase that leads to the door that has been barricaded with planks of wood. "From now on, I'm considering this to be a crime scene. Don't allow anyone to enter this place, I want you to guard this okay?"

"O-okay."

"And also... can you remove these for me? I would like to begin my investigation right now."

Haein got shocked, he went towards Seojoon with fear and worry in his eyes. "B-but detective? Are you sure about this?"

Seojoon released an assuring nod. "I'll be fine, Haein. I won't let myself be harmed not until we help that woman gets what she deserves."

"O-okay, detective. I'll be right back, I'll just gonna go get my tools." Haein excused himself before leaving Seojoon for a while, allowing the tensed yet prepared detective to remember he first set of informations he received that would hugely contribute to the unfolding of this mysterious case.

----------------------------------------------------

"Be safe, detective."

Haeil wished him luck before he lets Seojoon to enter the abandoned manor by himself while he remained outside to wait.

Bringing the flashlight with him, Seojoon switched it on and lights up the areas he peeks into as he began to examine the place. He checks all of the things, even the walls and the floor of every rooms.

The first floor was clear, Seojoon climbs to the next stage but just as he was in the middle of the stairs; he heard something that halted his footsteps and had his entire body shiver.

A sound of a woman humming softly can audibly heard slightly from one of the rooms upstairs.

Heartbeat rising, chest pounding, sweat dripping fast as Seojoon cautiously finished the last remaining set of steps before stepping in the second floor. He listened to the sound again and he noticed that the direction is coming from the left side, at the very end of the hallway.

"God, I pray for your protection. I lend you my trust to lure me away from danger." Seojoon muttered as he performed a sign of the cross before he deeply huffed and slowly trailed the path.

Directing the light to the doorway of the room, he observed that it was narrowly opened. The mix of discomfort and fright builds up inside of Seojoon. He breathed twice before courageously opened the door.

In his surprise as he entered, he didn't expected what happened next.

The famously talked ghost lady of the Gyeonggi village is standing face to face with him, near at the windows; wearing a complete white dress that almost identical to how pale her skin was.

She was standing there, looking straight at Seojoon who froze at what he's witnessing.

"I see you've been looking for me." the ghost lady said before she timidly smiled.

"H-holy shit, she's indeed here..." Seojoon whispered as he fell in the ground and stumbled at his movements while keeping his eyes in horror at her. The rumors in this village were true, because of that Seojoon has literally encountered a ghost for the first time in his whole life. The paranormal is real, he thought.

"W-wait! Don't go!" the lady pleads as she quickly slammed the door with an extraordinary force, preventing Seojoon to leave. "I won't hurt you, please."

"I-I won't, I swear. You don't have to do... that." Seojoon said while trembling, stunned at what the lady just did beyond natural in front of her. "I just came here to help and t-to look for you."

"H-help?" The lady repeated, unsure of what she just heard.

Seojoon nodded. "I am. The villagers called me here to investigate about your recent unusual activities that brings them unsettled, and we figured out that you must be in desperate need of help."

The woman suddenly choked in her tears as she covered her mouth. "H-help... oh my god, they heard me. They finally did."

"Yeah... and I'm here for you not to wait any longer. I'm here to offer you assistance by solving this case of yours. I just want you to do the same for me." Seojoon calmly replied.

The woman nodded and sniffed out her tears before wiping them off. Seojoon felt his heart ached at the sight of this poor woman. He didn't expected to feel this amount of sincerity and awfulness for whatever this lady has gone through that led her to be like this because of some horrible demise she faced before, especially when he couldn't disagree that this lady looks very pretty and carefree.

"I-I will help you. That's the only thing I want. I didn't intend to scare anyone, I just don't know how if I'm like this." the woman traced her appearance.

"I understand, and that's good to hear that you'll be cooperating. We'll solve this together, alright?" The woman nodded.

"I'm Detective Yoon Seojoon, what's yours?"

"D-Dahyun. K-Kim Dahyun."

The detective smiled in satisfaction, finally learning the identity of this ghost lady. "Nice to meet you, Dahyun. Standing here, meeting you personally... you don't look actually horrifying at all as what others might claim to be."

Dahyun removed her hands away from her face to look at Seojoon clearly while showing a little smile of appreciation to his compliment. "I like it, detective. Thanks for the kind words."

He looked at his wristwatch to monitor the time. "I guess this will do for now. I have to go home now, Dahyun but trust me, I'll be back here tomorrow to officially start investigating this case. Sounds good?"

Dahyun nodded her head and gently smiled. "It is. Goodbye and... thank you so much for doing this, detective."

"Just getting the job done, Dahyun. You're welcome and goodbye." Seojoon reciprocated Dahyun's smile before he opened the door and turn around to see Dahyun who is just watching his departure while still standing nicely in her position.

Seojoon left the manor with surreal feeling at everything that happened within a span of hours in his entire weekend. To summarize, he just opened up to volunteer a new case, arrived at the place where he met his client who informed him that it wouldn't be just a normal case... but rather a paranormal related one which is a first to his career and lastly, he freaking just met the same ghost lady that the village talks about and formed an alliance with her to find out who's behind of her mysterious death.

"Detective, how did it went?" Haein said as he hurriedly stood up from sitting in one of the rocks outside.

"I got enough of what I need for now. I'll return here tomorrow, so leave the door unlocked only for me, okay?" Seojoon commanded. Haein nodded in compliance.

The detective bid farewell as he rode his car and drove back to the police station where he slumped his head on the steering wheel for a moment to sink in everything that he confronted today before entering the said place.

He went to his office, placing out his notes and began typing on his computer to search for articles involving the disappearance of Kim Dahyun.

He did found some results and discovered that her friends filed a missing case 5 years ago, and the place that points to her last whereabouts was the exact house Dahyun's spirit remains trapped.

Due to this, it made Seojoon conifident that the house had a dark past that no one were able to know before; and the only one who can revisit despite how tragic and devastating it may be has to be the victim herself for the sake of closing the case in good terms.

Few days later, Seojoon returns to the village to visit the house and arrange another meetup with Dahyun. He couldn't help but to find it strange that he's literally talking with a ghost for an interrogation.

As he reached the front of the room where he saw Dahyun last time, he viewed her sitting on the floor and just staring weakly at the window, her arms placed atop of her knees.

Seojoon became aware of how lonely and exhausted Dahyun must've been day and night sending help to anyone who couldn't even see her with naked eyes while trapped alone.

This house became her prison for 5 years, and Dahyun doesn't deserve none of it. She just wants to be free, and Seojoon became motivated to do his best to grant what she desires.

"Hi, Dahyun." Seojoon greets her carefully, not wanting to surprise her and ruin her moment of silence.

She turned around, faced Seojoon and slowly stood up in which she greeted her back. "You did came back, detective."

Seojoon nodded. "I'm a man of my words."He strolled around the room and checked the furnitures and the interior design. "So yesterday, I did some research about you."

"What does it say?"

"There were news about your disappearance but it wasn't ruled that there's a killing involved. Your friends reported that to the police." Seojoon said, placing his hands on his pockets. "Do you remember some of your friends?"

Dahyun's face lit up. "Y-yes! I do, there are 8. Some of them were my classmates from the same campus, others aren't."

"Can you give me their names?"

"Im Nayeon, Yoo Jeongyeon, Hirai Momo, Minatozaki Sana, Park Jihyo, Myoui Mina, Son Chaeyoung and Chou Tzuyu." Dahyun enumerated. "But of all them though, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were my first found and closest friends. They're the ones who introduced me to the rest."

"Noted that. I'll consider it." Seojoon said as he wrote at the notepad. "Later or tomorrow, I'll try to look and visit for their home address. I would like them to be part of my interrogation also, especially that two."

Dahyun nodded and hummed knowledgeably. "Y-you're going to talk to them..."

"I am."

"T-then, can I ask a favor?"

Seojoon looked at Dahyun curiously. "What is it?"

"Can you ask them what do they have to say for me now that I'm g-gone...?" Dahyun stuttered. "I don't know... I just want to know if they still can remember me these days." She frowned, lowering her head.

Seojoon approached Dahyun, he was going to grab her shoulder in comfort but realizes that he couldn't touch her due to her ghostly figure, so he brought it down and just looked at Dahyun warmheartedly as much as he can to convey his emotions.

"I'll ask them, and expect their messages once I return. I know they haven't forgotten you yet, Dahyun. You seem like a really great friend to have with, and your memories that you created with them will definitely always be there in their heart and mind... because you cemented yourself as one of the person who became a part of their life."

Dahyun raised her look and stared at Seojoon breathtakingly. She found his look to be calm, kind and comforting that were willing to be expressed solely for her who needed it on her toughest times.

"Don't be sad, Dahyun. Be positive, please. If they are unlike to what we expect them to be, we wouldn't be able to solve this case once and for all."

Dahyun traced her dress and stood straight to compose herself, erasing the uneasiness she feels from the overthinking she did. "O-okay. You were right. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Seojoon then glanced back at his notepad.

"Dahyun, you said you couldn't remember what happened to you right?"

"Yeah. I have no idea, but I could describe that I don't feel like I belong here."

Seojoon squinted his eyes and cupped his chin. "Hmmm... I have my theories gathering up on my mind, but I'll save that for now. What's important here is that we continue to push forward with the progress and soon, we can finally unveil what led to your disappearance, Dahyun."

He inserted his notepad and ballpen back in his pockets and walked back at the doorway, but Dahyun called him from behind. "Detective!"

"Yes?"

"I just want to say that... I trust you a lot, because you've been such a good person to me. Take care as always, please."

Seojoon grinned at Dahyun and tilted his head away to avoid showing how obvious he got fluttered at her uplifting words.

"Y-yeah. You are too, Dahyun. And thank you for that, you truly encouraged me to keep on working hard." They both smiled and stared at each other for a while until Seojoon regained his senses back after being too indulged with the ethereal sight he had.

"I-I'm going out. See you again, Dahyun."

"Bye, detective."

Seojoon exits the room. As he makes his way downstairs, he grasped onto his chest while he reflects about this undescribable feeling that fills upon his heart.

Meanwhile at the same time, Dahyun viewed the scenery out of the window while having your image stuck in her head as she couldn't help but to think about you in sudden.

-----------------------

The next day, Seojoon left his house early. It was supposed to be a continuation of his investigation that he'll manage immediately but after the realization last night via phone call he received before he sleeps, he reconsidered his schedule for today by visiting a familiar place first.

Seojoon was granted access to get the gates openes up for him, he drove the car inside and parked. His arrival stole the attention of someone close to him who lives in here. As he hopped out, a little girl sprinted out and jumps on Seojoon with glee.

"Seojoon oppa!"

"Hi buddyyy!" Seojoon squatted to match her height as they hugged at each other.

"I missed you, oppa. Where did you go?" The kid frowned, making Seojoon guilty for his msitakes.

"I'm just too busy with work, buddy. I may disappeared but I never forgotten you, okay? It's just that my visit turned out to be earlier than I expected because you gave me a call last night."

"Sorry, oppa. Did I distracted you-"

"No, not at all Dahye. Don't think like that. Dahye-ssi will never be a disturbance to Seojoon-oppa. Got it?" He said while gently wiggling both of her arms.

Dahye giggled adorably and nodded back at her big cousin. "Are we going to play today, oppa?"

"If that's what you want, then let's go!" Dahye cheered happily while exclaiming a "yay!" sound as she loved spending a funtime with her beloved cousin and brother-like figure.

Seojoon stood up and holds Dahye's hand. They were about to enter the house when a middle-aged man appeared, blocking the way as he watched him and Dahye cheerfully walking together.

"Seojoon, you came."

"Hello, ahjussi." Seojoon bowed respectfully on his uncle.

"I didn't even know you'll be here. How are you doing these days?" He asked as the two were now closer at each other.

"I'm good. Busy as usual, I got a new case in hand." Seojoon answered. "But it looks like your daughter here couldn't wait anymore. She wanted to meet me sooner than later." He ruffled the girl's hair and cuddled her beside...

"I can't blame her, she always mentions you everytime while asking me when you will come back. Weeks ago wasn't enough, I suppose. She loves you so much that's why she enjoys being with you always."

The uncle stepped aside as he guided him and Dahye to enter the house. "Come in, boy. Did you have breakfast?"

"Not yet, ahjussi."

"Perfect. Join us to eat on the table! Right at the time, I bought many ingredients from grocery yesterday so we have more to eat today." His uncle says as all of them sat in the dining table while the maids served the foods one by one.

----------------------

In the midst of his playtime with Dahye, Seojoon checks the time on his phone in which brought him to stand up and pull out the keys from his pocket. The kid saw his actions and recognized what he's about to do.

"You're leaving again, oppa?"

Seojoon tightlipped at Dahye sitting on the floor, frowning while hugging her doll. "I'm sorry, Dahye-nah. I still have work to do for today. Oppa can't stay here long." he said apologetically.

He noticed her burying her face on the fluffy head of her stuff toy to hide her sadness. Seojoon sighed and goes near at the sulking Dahye.

"Your birthday is on next week, right?"

Dahye didn't respond, but that didn't stop Seojoon from sharing what's in his mind for that day.

"I'm treating you outside, you can pick whatever you want to do. Oppa is going to catch up with you, okay? We're going to celebrate your birthday without any rush." Seojoon suggested.

"You're sure, oppa?"

"Yeah. I don't want to make my sweet little princess' birthday incomplete without having me you know?"

Seojoon watched her gloomy face slowly reverted back to a delighted mood as she leaned her face away from the dool and looked at him. "Okay, I can't wait oppa!"

Relieved that he managed not to upset his beloved cousin, Seojoon hugged Dahye and kissed his crown. "See you on your birthday, Dahye. Oppa has to go now. Bye!"

"Bye, oppa! Thank you for coming!"

Afterwards, Seojoon bids farewell to his uncle as he enters his car and read his notepad, keeping him reminded of the task he had to be done before the day ends.

With the help of one of the teams in the department who are in charge of tracking down locations, Seojoon was able to receive the address where the names Chou Tzuyu and Son Chaeyoung currently lives, which transported him to the city of Seoul, the capital of South Korea.

Seojoon came in the front of the right house he's supposed to pay a visit. He clicked the doorbell and waited for anyone at home to entertain his call.

Fortunately, there's one. It was the girl named Chaeyoung who is wearing a plain oversized t-shirt and some jogging pants like a typical house attire. She holds the door as she observes the appearance of Seojoon standing in her doorway.

"Hello and good morning, my name is Yoon Seojoon. I am a detective."

"What can I help you with, detective?" Chaeyoung nonchalantly asked.

"I'm came here to ask you some questions about the disappearance of Kim Dahyun. Your connection with the victim led me to you, miss Son."

Chaeyoung gasped as she glared at Seojoon in bewilderment. Her grip on the door shuddered a little as well as the emotions getting into her after hearing that name from somebody for such a long time, might as well coming from the police itself.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm not interested to talk about it."

Chaeyoung was about to shut the door, but Seojoon attempts to prevent it by calling her again not to let go of her attention. "Wait! Miss Son, I came here to help. Please, perhaps... you may want to take a look at this."

Chaeyoung glanced back at Seojoon, who is now offering her a piece a paper. She takes it and discovered it wasn't just a paper, but something more that holds dear in her heart.

"I got this from my research. I know you and Dahyun were close friends and... I hope I can convince you through this to cooperate with me. I know you're just like me who wants to explore more about Dahyun's case."

Listening through his voice, Chaeyoung could tell that the detective was sounding very genuine and optimistic; exactly what she needed back then when they were anticipating for anyone to take her friend's case seriously.

She looks back at the picture. It shows her, Tzuyu and Dahyun in a beach all doing a pose together. "You're right. This one's special to me. It was our first getaway trip when we were only three in our group at that time." Chaeyoung expressed a bittersweet recollection.

"I-I'm sorry, detective. I-I... just couldn't believe someone... someone in the police would revisit and take control of my friend's case. It's been 5 years and up to this day we're still begging for her justice, and here you are..." Chaeyoung said as she started to tear up. Seojoon respectfully remained silent to let the girl spill out the burden that's been dragging her down since Dahyun vanished.

She sniffed, swiping her tears that ran across her cheek as she spreaded the gap of the door further to give way for the detective. "I-I'll talk. I'll answer your questions. Please, come in."

"Thank you, Miss Son." Seojoon bowed courteously.

"Just call me Chaeyoung."

As Seojoon stepped in, Chaeyoung closed the door and shouted somebody's name who is also present with them. "Tzuyu! We hve a guest!"

"Coming! Who is it!"

Tzuyu walked out of her room and the sight of Chaeyoung with a stranger greeted her. "Uhh..."

"Good morning, I assume you're Ms. Chou Tzuyu. I'm Detective Yoon Seojoon, in charge for the missing case of your friend, Kim Dahyun."

Tzuyu's eyes widened in surprise and all she could do was to look at Chaeyoung who is nodding her head to make her understand the situation abruptly.

------------------------------

"Is this where Dahyun lives?"

Seojoon asked as he presented the picture of the abandoned manor to Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. The two peeked at it and seemingly distinguished the content.

"Yes, but that wasn't her own." Chaeyoung answered. "She doesn't live there alone nor have her family with her actually."

"Her parents died when she was in highschool at that time. Her relatives took the responsibility of raising Dahyun but if we're not mistaken, she left them because they were strict and not kind-hearted." Tzuyu added.

"She approached us and we learned about her situation. We offered her help, she did took it appreciatingly. It didn't last long, however."

"Dahyun told us that she wants to try surviving on her own, so she applied for a part-time job as a maid to earn allowance for her studies."

Seojoon wrote all of the key points in his notes. "So, Dahyun lived in that manor temporarily as part of her requirement as a maid?"

"I guess so. She never invited us to visit her place to hang out, but we did brought her there once when we all came home together from class." Tzuyu replied.

"I see." Seojoon muttered. "Wait, so if she's a maid, then technically there has to be the original residents of that manor whom Dahyun works for. Do you guys know them?"

"Not specifically. We never got to see them up close." Chaeyoung shook her head. "But I do remember that Dahyun mentioned once that it was a family, and she takes care of a little girl who is the daughter of that family which she befriended with."

"Yeah, she always admire that kid, calling her cute, how bubbly she is and more." Tzuyu continued. "Well, Dahyun loves children, that's why."

Seojoon smiled at that information. He found a similarity with Dahyun in which he could relate with. "Alright, last question. When was the last time you saw her?"

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu's face demeanor transformed into a dull and bland one. It had Seojoon perceived that it wasn't a happy memory that Dahyun left for them before her unexpected disappearance. "It was at the campus. We were eating street foods outside when suddenly Dahyun just received a notification coming from that family I guess.", says Chaeyoung.

"She didn't told us what happened because she quickly said goodbye and ran away to us, but she did revealed it the day after through our group chat."

"What did she say?"

"She told us that she couldn't come with us because she's grieving along with the family while doing her job to serve the visitors on the funeral."

"Wait, come again?" Seojoon pursed his head forward and stared deeply at Tzuyu with knitted eyebrows. "A funeral? To who?"

"She said that the little girl she's taking care of died in an accident. The family didn't took it very well, since it was their only child... especially the father who always wanted to have a daughter."

Seojoon's heart ached at the story. It truly hurts him whenever he finds a child being in an inevitable danger that none were deserving to be part of. He huffed in the air for a second before drinking the glass of water that Chaeyoung and Tzuyu offered to him before they started the interrogation, in an attempt to erase the horrible what ifs of having Dahye getting put in that kind of scenario.

"Are you okay, detective?"

"Y-yeah, sorry. It's just... I'm sensitive on hearing kids being on unfortunate events, whether it costs them life or not." Seojoon cleared his throat and fixed his composure. "And whatever happened to Dahyun that will tie us to these information you lend to me, I couldn't be much more devastated for her too."

He stood up from his seat and presented his hand. "Thank you so much again for your cooperation Miss Tzuyu and Miss Chaeyoung. You two don't know how big of a contribution this is for the solving of Dahyun's case. You guys helped her again as usual."

"What can we say, we loved Dahyun more than just a friend. She was like a sibling, a sister to us." Tzuyu said. "And wherever she may be today, I hope she's at peace."

Seojoon tightlipped and looked away at Tzuyu for a while. "Not yet, but we'll get there... soon." he whispered.

"Uhm, before I go... can I ask one more thing?"

"What is it detective?" Chaeyoung pondered.

"If Dahyun's watching us today, what do you guys want to say to her?"

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu looked at each other before sighing heavily. "Dahyunnie, if you can hear us, we just want to say that... we miss you everyday. A lot."

"Just the little things we do together, we revisit it frequently as our way to remember you. And... o-oh God, it's still so hard for us to not have you on our side anymore. Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, the girls weren't still used of your absence, Dahyun-ah. Your contagious laugh, your positivity, your wholehearted personality. When our shining light was taken away from us, it felt like we're forever living in a colorless world; and we wouldn't be contented accepting that fact forever, Dahyun.

Thank you for existing in our life as our friend, tofu. Someday, when we all fly up there; we'll get to see each other again and reunited, and we will all have fun together just like the good old days where nothing can go wrong that will separate one of us from each other anymore. We couldn't wait for that to happen."

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu couldn't contain their tears as they sobbed harder at their longing messages for their bereaved friend. Seojoon got teared up at their bittersweet and emotional words. He expressed his sympathy by coming up near to them and enveloped them in a comforting embrace.

-------------------------------------

Dahyun was overwhelmed and touched at what Seojoon informed to her about what Chaeyoung and Tzuyu wanted to say to her in the aftermath of her passing. Seojoon is once again frustrated and dismayed that he couldn't get to hug Dahyun to make the consolation easier, as all he could do was to watch her cry out loud while their messages sink into her.

Seojoon also told her about the new informations he gathered regarding a piece of backstory of her past life and the manor she's locked into. That helped Dahyun to regain some memories of what she had when she was living and shared it to him right away.

Seojoon and Dahyun's conversation went longer than expected, as Seojoon just listened to Dahyun's stories about how she and the girls first met, how they supported her for the decision of taking the job and the experiences she had as a maid; in which she enjoyed because of the same reason as what Chaeyoung and Tzuyu mentioned: the little girl.

Dahyun described that she felt like a big sister she never got the chance to be for her own family because she never got a sibling. Although, the happiness didn't last long for their bond when Dahyun became one of those who suffered from the death of that girl, and possibly led to her own downfall.

As she was finished talking, Seojoon made it fair by inserting another topic for her and Dahyun to converse with. Each time passes and it was all worth it, they were too indulged with their interesting interaction that they never even gave a damn anymore for now at whatever that is happening outside the manor.

Dahyun enjoyed talking with Seojoon, for the first time since being a ghost she never felt confined and alone. Same as what could tell for Seojoon to himself, Dahyun is indeed a very entertaining and nice to hang out with. He has never been this happy to anyone else other than her cousin Dahye.

As of now, Dahyun and Seojoon were both laying down on the floor, staring the window that relfects the sunset outside. They just took a little break from the non-stop talking they had.

"Dahyun."

"Hmm?"

"I just wanna ask, if I fail to spend more time with my loved ones; does that make me a horrible person?"

Dahyun looked at him who is still steadily watching from afar. "What makes you say so?"

"I don't know, I just envy you. You get to set time for your friends while being occupied with your duty of taking care that girl and focusing on your studies. You manage to maintain yourself available and flexible while me... I couldn't do it properly."

Seojoon sighed, he sat up and tangled his arms around his knees. "I always believed that work was always the most important thing that keeps me alive. I wasn't like this before. I thought having friends or family is the one thing that makes you motivated and dedicated to keep on living for another day, but instead every single one of them abandoned me."

"I only had my work who stayed by my side, so I became even more hardworking and busy. None of people around me could keep in touch with me that would surpass an hour. In short, I'm too insufferable and boring, and I couldn't care less about it."

"Not until when suddenly I got to meet with my remaining relatives. I got uncle and my little cousin. Her name's Harin. I didn't know that when I got to be close with them, especially her... I began to reconsider things. To spend more time at other things than work. And I found Harin to be very valuable and special to me."

Dahyun witnessed Seojoon as he started to choke and sniff, sign of her impending wails that's urging him because of the increasing emotions he's trying to endure. "But I was left confused in the end. Why does when I started to change for myself and for her, the world would just randomly chose to fuck my fate after? That she has just became one of the people in my life who will just instantly left me after pouring my love and care to them."

Seojoon cried harder on his knees. Dahyun sat upright and looked at him worriedly. "After she died, I never tried to the fullest to allow time with other things than work. But these days, it scares me that when Dahye got to be closer to me... if I let myself get attached to her too, she would just leave me just like the rest of them."

Dahyun nodded understandably at his reasons. "So do you mean that, it's what that holds you back from meeting her often?"

Seojoon nodded. Dahyun hummed and sat near beside Seojoon. "Everything is meant to happen, Seojoon; and I hate to say this to you but, that's what I could tell the same for your family, friends and Harin."

"But, just like what the saying says. when a door closes, another one opens. Opportunities are endless, Seojoon. And you must take it bravely because you wouldn't know when would that be given to you again. It could be just once and Dahye could also be the last, Seojoon."

"I say, you should not resist or restrict yourself after what happened to you. Don't take it as a failure, Seojoon. Let that be an encouragement for you to keep moving forward and continue what you love to do, and that is to become something meaningful in others lives.

Sometimes, things that disappear were meant to be replaced. It all leads you to Dahye, and just like what I said Seojoon. Life is unpredictable, you don't know if everything that we have could be our last. So, I suggest you should continue expressing yourself to the fullest of being a loving cousin for Dahye... before either she won't exist no one enters your life anymore as much important as her.

Seojoon wipes off the tears in his eyes and looked at Dahyun, agreeing at her advice. "I understand now. You're right, Dahyun. I'm sorry if I had to say this to you..."

"It's no problem, Seojoon. I'm grateful that you treated me to be a trustworthy person who you can reply on opening up your problems you couldn't share easily to others, and I'm glad that I could help." Dahyun grinned.

Seojoon shortly smiled at her humble statement. He straightened his seating posture, extending his legs to the floor with his hands supporting his upper body. He glanced at Dahyun and wandered around her facial features The unspoken feeling that distracts him is detectable again to him.

"Hey, enough crying. Cmon, follow me. Let's do one more thing before you go home." Dahyun hurriedly stood up and gestures him to do the same.

"What is it?"

"You'll see. Hurry up, slowpoke." Dahyun giggled which brought Seojoon to chuckle at her adorable antics.

Dahyun walks out of the room and Seojoon followed her from behind. They reached downstairs and went at the widest room in the entire section, located at the very end next to the living room.

"Sit here." Dahyun said after she sat at one of the chairs of the piano which includes to one of the things that were left unmoved here in this house.

Seojoon and Dahyun are now sitting side by side, facing the piano altogether. "I remember how much I loved playing this piano when I was still living and serving my time here as a maid. I mostly spend my free time improving my piano skills."

"You know how to play piano?"

Dahyun hummed. "Yup! I dreamt once of becoming a successful musician... or a pianist, you know. Piano has became my favorite musical instrument so tonight, let me console you by playing one of my favorite pieces for you."

Dahyun puts her hands on the keys and starting pressing the notes to the rhythm with the use of her supernatural force to suppress weight.

The more she keeps on playing, Seojoon slowly recognizes the music she's performing. Not wanting to be left behind, she joined Dahyun by singing the lyrics of the song she's playing on the piano.

Even if it's a dream, I like it Tomorrow, I'll be there Even if you're not That's okay, I'll remember you Little by little Our memories piled up I will always keep them As they were

With my eyes only I know it won't pass onto you So I'll give back your heart One by one

Dahyun on the other hand, was astounded and enlightened at how admiringly beautiful your vocal was. "Woah, you know this too?"

"It's my favorite too."

The two beamed a smile at each other before they proceed to sing-along the night away together with the calming instrumentals to left their day with a positive mark.

As the song ends, Dahyun and Seojoon applauded each other as both were impressed at each other's talents. While Seojoon fixated himself, Dahyun grabbed his attention by speaking up to him.

"This has to be the best day I've ever had so far, Seojoon. Thank you for staying with me."

Seojoon looks at her and smiled before his face sprung up as he recalled something.

"Oh wait, I got something for you."

He pulls out in his pocket and showed it at Dahyun. The latter covered his mouth in awe.

"They gave this to me in return of what I showed to them earlier. I just thought you would like to see these for yourself, since these are your photos taken by them."

"Woah, these looks so good. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu really are the best on capturing photos in our trio." Dahyun chuckled as she adored her images on your hand.

"Yeah, they did great. You look so free and gorgeous in these similar to how can I see through you right now."

Dahyun heard what Seojoon muttered under his breath. Their stares matched and drowned once again at the charms each of them possesses. Her blush grew rapidly not only from the fluttering words she was acknowledged for, but also for Seojoon himself.

"U-uhh, I'll be leaving now, Dahyun. Good night to you." Seojoon bows and smiles at him before he walks away from her, exiting the manor while she was left alone, stunned and amazed at the possibility that Dahyun might've fallen already for the good-hearted detective.

----------------------------------------------------

Back from serious business, Seojoon returns to the village the next day and searches for the landlord Haein as new inquiries spawned into his scarlet web of thread that would be nearly tied to the center of attraction, and that is for the awaited revelation behind Dahyun's disappearance.

Seojoon is standing behind Haein who is scrambling through his wooden cabinet where he keeps all of his documents stored in one place.

He asked a while ago if Haeil could still remember who was the last proprietor of the manor where Dahyun probably got killed. Haeil responded through the use of all the might he has left for the sharpness of his memory that it was indeed belongs to a middle-aged man.

He forgot the name, but as what he could remember; he has one family member with him: a daughter, matching Chaeyoung and Tzuyu's claims. But there was one thing that struck Seojoon.

A new clue. The man is a single father. Haein depicted that when the man signed the contract, he doesn't have any woman he could tell if that's his wife or what. In fact, he never even saw him had a woman that could stand as a mother for the little girl.

Seojoon heard that the landlord mentioned about the contract, he suggested Haein to look for the copy where he was answered that he still has all the papers with him.

And that's where they at right now. "I got it!" Haein exclaimed as he raised a paper on his hands. He closed the cabinet and placed it on his desk. "There. That's the last contract of agreement I had for the manor before it was left unoccupied for years."

Seojoon examined the paper and flipped the pages. The third and last paper is where the signature and the printed name of the owner could be found.

As he reads the name of the identity of the last owner, Seojoon's eyes largened in shock. He felt like the world turned upside down as he piercingly stared at the paper.

"H-how is this possible..." He murmured as he rubbed his mouth with his hands in utter disbelief.

"What's wrong, detective?"

"N-Nothing." Seojoon frantically shook his head. "Can I borrow this? This would be very useful for an evidence."

"Sure, take it if you want detective. I won't mind." Haein shrugged.

Seojoon nodded and quickly barged out of the landlord's house. He entered the car and slumped at his seat, facing the paper back in front of him as he combed his hair in astonishment.

"Yoon Guimhwi..." He reads the name of the last occupant under the property of Haein's.

"I-It's my uncle's... does he have secrets that he's been hiding from me?" Seojoon asked to himself before he drove away.

He arrived minutes later at his uncle's residence, perfectly timed where his cousin wouldn't be around since Dahye is at her class. He want this to become personal and private, just the two of them for him to suspect his own uncle.

"Seojoon!" His uncle greeted him as soon as he appeared at the front door. He kept his stoic and observative mask worn around his face. "You're too late! Dahye is not here."

"It's alright. I wanted to see you this time, uncle."

"Ah is that so? How thoughtful of you, Joon. Then come in, let me get you some. What do you prefer? Food or drink?"

"Juice would be fine enough. Thanks uncle." Seojoon replied.

Uncle Guimhwi went to the kitchen to prepare, leaving Seojoon alone in the living room to standby and make himself feel at home, but that's not what he came here for.

He roamed around and viewed the frames of his uncle and his cousin, until there was one thing that caught him off track.

Seojoon stepped forward and traced the picture further. The eyes never lie. He's literally seeing clearly, and he doesn't know whether to deny or accept what he just discovered.

The structure of the manor is the background of the family picture of his uncle along with his cousin, photo taken in the daylight.

This just confirmed more for Seojoon that his uncle must have a huge part of his investigation. It was unexpected and a coincidence, but that's not what it matters for him. He's going to try something that would measure his truthfulness in front of something he wasn't aware of that could place his innocence in judgement.

"Joon! You can get your juice here, boy." his uncle called him from behind, bringing along a pitchel full of orange juice and some glasses.

"Thanks, uncle." Seojoon grabbed one and poured himself a drink. He returns back to face the painting and make himself obvious for his uncle to notice.

"You miss her. I know."

Seojoon heard his uncle's comment. That wasn't the one he's waiting to hear from him, but he wouldn't dodge such a painful fact. He does miss his cousin a lot.

"I do, but... can I ask you something uncle?"

"Go ahead."

"You lived here in this manor before?"

His uncle sipped a drink before responding. "Yeah, we stayed there for 3 years until we relocated here."

"Where was this located?"

"At Gyeonggi, if I wasn't mistaken." Uncle Guimhwi stated. "The neighborhood there was so kind. I wish I could pay them a visit someday."

Seojoon keeps on listing secretly on his mind. "Why couldn't you?"

"Some things are best to left behind, Joon. There's a lot of bad history I had there in that manor. I wouldn't last to witness that place ever again if I get the chance... but it's better for me not to take that at all." Uncle Guimhwi said.

"Wait, are you referring to the missing case of... wait, what's this name again- Kim Dahyun?"

Seojoon observed his uncle who stopped midway from gulping another cold beverage in his glass. It's like he just installed some flashbacks within him that he just malfunctioned.

"Y-you know that?"

"I do. Researching helps plus hello, I work at police department as a detective, uncle." Seojoon blurted.

Guimhwi started to act weird by rotating his head as if he's trying to find something for him to say regarding that matter.

"A-ahh. Right, yeah. You are." Guimhwi nervously chuckled.

"That manor was the same place where that Dahyun girl was reported to be missing. Do you know her, uncle?"

The intensity of Seojoon's playful act to corner his uncle becomes even more intense as he enjoys watching him struggle to reply. His suspicions were now being constructed and Seojoon couldn't believe that he would've get to confront his uncle for being the unthinkable type of person he never knew would turn out real.

Guimhwi remained silent for a while before he glanced at the manor. "I do. He was our previous maid. Dahye and her gets along really well. That's why when I noticed that she wasn't appearing for days and become absent in our manor, not knowing that would be the start of his missing report by the police; I was worried and saddened for her and for Dahye. They were like bestfriends and Dahyun... Dahyun is a great girl, Seojoon. It breaks my heart not to see that kid for a long time now."

"I heard from our department that they're going to reopen the case, if you will be asked to stand as the witness; would you allow me to recommend you?"

Guimhwi swallowed a lump on his throat before speaking up to what his nephew told to him. "I-I'll think about it first. That's undebatable."

Seojoon clicked his tongue and pretends to pull out his cellphone for some urgent reason. "I'll be back, uncle. I have to chat my colleague."

"Take your time, boy."

Seojoon walks away from his uncle and stopped near the door. He pressed the note icon and types down everything he heard from his uncle. He saved it for later there and not on his usual notepad so that he wouldn't be seen too obvious that he's actually investigating his uncle. This has to be included for review and analyzation back on his house or at the station later.

-----------------------------

Two days later, Seojoon was mostly devoted on investigating further about the sudden involvement of his uncle about Dahyun's case. It's making him conflicted and befuddled that after all this time, one of things he'd be looking for the case was someone very close to his life, and as of now his role is very crucial here.

His uncle has just become one of the primary suspects as the culprit of Dahyun's death.

He doesn't want it to be true, because he doesn't know what would it affect him once it does. Being a police detective, learning that there's a murderer or a killer that is highly related to you feels like a stain to your career and background as you hold your family's name along with the rank of your profession.

Seojoon was busy adjusting all of the clues he has with him when he received a phone call from his cousin Dahye.

"Hello?"

"Oppa." Her voice sounded weak.

"Dahye, what made you call in the middle of the night. You miss me already, don't you?" He chuckled as he closed a folder in his working table.

"Oppa... please come here. I don't wanna go."

Seojoon slowly furrowed his eyebrows after he heard that plead from Dahye. "What do you mean you don't wanna go? Is there something wrong going on there, Dahye-nah?"

"Oppa... appa wants us to look for new home. I don't know why but... I don't want to be far away, oppa. I love it here. Stop appa please."

"Okay okay, I'll be right there. Where is appa right now?" Seojoon asked, hurriedly wearing his detective coat and some equipments with him in case it gets handy. He has to beware, his uncle is a suspect and the suspicions he has on him are still on the top and through Dahye's emergency call, it maintains that level of the risk he has.

"H-he's with the maids, packing our things. I have to go, oppa. Appa might see me."

"Just try to be stubborn and fight back against appa's instructions. Seojoon oppa is on his way now there!" He said before ending the call and left his apartment in a dash.

Driving his car in a fast speed while keeping it steady to avoid any unlikely accidents that may be a hindrance to his chase, Seojoon successfully made it to his uncle's residence.

Just as he arrived, he saw Guimhwi trying to calm down Dahye who is forcing herself to escape from his father's grasp as she's being inserted inside the car.

"UNCLE!" Seojoon shouted, marching closer at Guimhwi who was surprised at his emergence. Dahye quickly ran at him and hugged him on the leg as she cried.

"Seojoon-ssi, what are you doing here?"

"Where are you guys going? And why are you forcing Dahye to go with you? The kid doesn't look pleased, uncle. What's going on?"

"It's none of your business. Y-you won't understand, Seojoon. Take care of yourself, but me and Dahye has to look for a new home somewhere."

Guimhwi tried to approach Dahye but she hid behind Seojoon who is gesturing his to stop. "No. Why can't you tell me why? Your home here seems fine, what's bothering you uncle?"

His uncle went silent as he avoid Seojoon's intimidating gaze, waiting for his answer. As he has no comment to offer, Seojoon starts to choke from the heavy breaths escaping in his mouth driven by the emotions increasing deep inside of him.

"U-uncle, yesterday... I asked you about the manor and if you have knowledge about the case of Kim Dahyun..."

"W-why does it concerns you, Seojoon?!"

"BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO HANDLES THE CASE!" Seojoon shouted at Guimhwi. Dahye started to cry behind him. " And you LIED! All of what you said was a LIE. Is that why you're doing this, uncle? Is that because, you feel guilty of what you did... that's why you have to escape and brought a child into this?!"

"How d-do you even know that I told you false information, Seojoon?! What makes sure, that you could just accuse me without any evi-"

"Dahye's not the actual child Dahyun took care of when she was working for you, isn't it?" Seojoon's lips began to twitch. "The case was 5 years ago, Dahye is only turning 6 this year, uncle. She wasn't even born during that time!"

"The girl she took care was your daughter, your ORIGINAL daughter, uncle. Harin was Dahyun's responsibility." Seojoon pointed. Guimhwi was just standing there, head lowered down with fists curling, enduring all of the blame being thrown at him.

"June 12, 2015. You must be on the manor at that day. Why? Because that was 2 days ago after Harin died. You stayed in that manor all day with Dahyun, assisting you while you grieve at your only daughter's death."

"And now, I have to confirm one thing... and I want it to hear it from you, uncle."

Seojoon adjusted the phone in his coat in which he secretly opened the audio recorder to record their conversation tonight, and to caught the suspect's reactions about his claims.

"What did you do to Dahyun on that given night?" Seojoon sharpened his tone, sending chills through the horrified and extremely tensed Guimhwi.

"Are you the one who killed her?"

"..."

"TELL ME!!!"

Dahye cried harder and Guimhwi flinched at the deafening scream by Seojoon.

Tears streamed down in his face while he stares at his uncle that has been cornered and put into hot seat, getting his innocence doubted.

"S-seojoon...

I'm sorry."

Guimhwi didn't answered in specific, but the obvious meaning behind those words were enough to shatter Seojoon's heart and soul.

"N-no... Dahyun..."

He gave in from his stance, collapsing to the ground and slowly sobbed in pain as Dahye hugged him on the back.

--------------------

5 DAYS LATER

The case was now closed. His uncle, Yoon Guimhwi was found guilty and sentenced to more than a decade in prison after he admitted publicly that he was the man behind the slaughter of Kim Dahyun's disapperance, which was caused by murder. He did it at the same room where Dahyun usually stays in the manor, explaining why is it the part of the house that is haunted the most by her spirit.

Dahyun's body was found and surprisingly, it was buried neatly on an open field somewhere in Daegu. On a positive side, atleast his uncle was right and spoke the truth about his explaination on why he did the crime.

But still, that won't change a thing that it was a horrible act to do. He hurted Dahyun for a very obssessive reason. He killed and wasted her dreams because of that. He left Dahyun locked in that manor, hoping that she'll get to cross into the gates of heaven where her soul rightfully belongs.

A proper funeral has been held for Dahyun's remains. All of her friends visited and send their thank yous at the detective for bringing Dahyun the justice she deserves.

Seojoon decided to stop at the manor where he would be visiting Dahyun again. It's been days since they haven't seen each other. She must've felt bored and lonely again, and Seojoon misses her so much already as much as she does.

"Dahyun."

Seojoon called her name after he stood in the doorway. Dahyun was just laying down on the bed with her hands placed atop of her midsection, the same posture as how deceased people were formed inside the casket.

Dahyun gets up from the bed and looked at Seojoon with a huge smile on her face. "Seojoon!" She walked closer to him as fast as she could.

Seojoon got to face Dahyun closer. The two were standing in front of each other, gap were just inches away.

Seeing her after knowing the fate she had that costs her life was too much for Seojoon to control.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, just feeling a bit weird. I feel... more alive and at rest since yesterday." Dahyun described. "It feels like I have nothing to worry about. Like, everything's going to be okay for me even though I'm still here... trapped in this manor for god knows how long."

Seojoon speculated that the completion of the case gave an impact on Dahyun's state as a lost ghost in this mortal world.

He smiled softly and didn't wasted any more time to announce her the good news. "I-It's done."

"Hmm?"

"The case. It's now closed. We caught your killer, Dahyun."

Dahyun was shocked and overwhelmed with joy and relief. She gasped, staring at Seojoon unbelievably. "R-really?"

He nodded. Dahyun jumped in glee and lets out tears of joy in her dazzling eyes. Seojoon admirably watch her celebrate victoriously, it's been a long time coming for her and finally she was able to achieve it.

As soon as Dahyun stops, she noticed that Seojoon was shuddering as tears bursted out from him, hissing and whimpering at the emotions taking over him.

"W-why are you crying, Seojoon? We did it, right?"

"Y-yeah. We did. I'm just so happy for you but I..." Seojoon blew some warm air before proceeding. "I just couldn't help but to feel bad at myself."

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong though?"

"I don't... I-I'm just ashamed to show up myself for you after what I learnt."

Dahyun looks at Seojoon curiously. "Why? What is it?"

"D-Dahyun... forgive me. I didn't know... I didn't know..."

She held her wrists and looked at him worriedly.

"You didn't know what?"

"I- I didn't know that my uncle killed you."

Dahyun was stunned. She froze in front of you, what you just told her immensely shocked her to the core.

"W-what?" Dahyun said, stepping back a bit from him.

"I wasn't close with my uncle at that time, so I never got to know about you. I-If only I did met him and you, pay some visit here earlier, m-maybe I... I could've done something." Seojoon said, shaking his head in regret and guilt. "I wanted to save you, Dahyun."

"H-how did I die?" Dahyun asked him, both were weakened and hurt.

"You were strangled to death... at this very same room we're standing in. He did that after y-you tried to escaped." Seojoon began to explain what his uncle shared in the court. Dahyun's head suddenly starts to ache as all of the memories were now flashing back from her all at once, allowing her to have a glimpse of the last moments before her unfortunate demise in the hands of Seojoon's uncle.

"Y-you did that because... you couldn't stand staying there on that manor, living while raising a child that was completely forced and unplanned for you to have." Seojoon proceeded. "You gave birth to Dahye due to the consequences of Harin's death. My uncle's obssession of having a child in replacement of Harin has what brought uncle to rap-"

"STOP!" Seojoon flinched and looked at Dahyun who is covering her head and ears as she kneeled, body curled on the floor as she fought the pain of regaining back her lost memories that were mostly full of tragedy and darkness.

"Dahyun?" He called her name to check up on her. Dahyun was also crying like him. She removed her hands on her head and looked at Seojoon who is concerned for her.

"I-I remember it all now." Dahyun spoke in the midst of her sobs. "That man needs to pay for what she did to me. Your uncle deserves to burn in hell!"

Seojoon didn't say anything as he just listened to Dahyun's rage and agony. "M-my daughter... I remember her. I can even sense her somewhere. She's alive, I can feel it."

Dahyun went closer towards Seojoon. "S-Seojoon, w-where is she? I-is she okay?"

He nodded, Dahyun smiled through her cries. "She's with me. She grown up to be such a great girl. And I just noticed that... she just looks almost as you."

Dahyun was touched and happy at the news. She cried harder, hands clasped as she prayed for the Gods feeling grateful that somehow her daughter was able to survive and able to continue living the life that was gifted to her.

"Her name..."

"Dahye." Both of them said it at the same time.

"It's as wonderful as her mother's." Seojoon muttered and stared deeply at Dahyun before he looked away as the connection he has with his uncle made him uncomfortable to look at Dahyun straight in the eyes.

"A-are you mad at me, Dahyun?"

"Me?" Dahyun was confused. "Why w-would I? You said it yourself, you have no idea what cruel and disgusting your uncle was."

"Don't be regretful about it, Seojoon. Don't blame yourself just because you have a relative who disobeyed the law opposite of the oath you took for your occupation. It might affect your reputation as a detective, but don't let it distract you from the fact that you're the one who arrested him and sent him to jail on your own. That cements your faithfulness and unbiased principle for the sake of the law and truth."

Dahyun smiled sympathetically at Seojoon. The two had each other's eyes in contact. She grinned brightly, making Seojoon eased and stable from his overflowing emotions. "I won't hold anger, hatred or vengeance from you. It's all done, I am now free... and it wouldn't be possible without you."

They paused on talking when Seojoon noticed that Dahyun's figure started to become blurry as she starts to slowly disappear. "D-Dahyun... you're-"

"I know." She nodded. "My time is up, I see."

Seojoon dreadfully looked at Dahyun after she said it.

"But before I go... I want to say this to you that I've been keeping to myself from the first day that I got to talk with you more than just my case, Seojoon.

Thank you for choosing to help me. You did it, and I'm so proud of you. Those made me even love you more ."

Seojoon starts to cry as he finally tried to touch Dahyun to hug her, but sadly he really couldn't do it. His body just went passed through Dahyun's. He became infuriated, pounding his fists at the floor.

"N-no... no, even you?!" Seojoon exclaimed. The fear of being left by someone who became dear in his heart happened again, and it hits Seojoon different because for the first time; he gets to be romantically in love with a woman despite being only the ghost of herself when she was existing like him.

"Can I join you too? I don't want you to go. I love you too Dahyun." Seojoon begged as he kneeled in front of Dahyun. She squats and leveled Seojoon's sight.

"You can, but not for now."

Seojoon looked at Dahyun. "You still have purpose to fulfill in this world, Seojoon... and I want that for you to do me a favor. Take care of Dahye for me. In the future, when she grew up and you feel that she can stand on her own now... I will just be up high above, waiting for you. And we can finally enjoy our everlasting love together there."

Dahyun formed a heart gesture to Seojoon as only a quarter of her figure is now left visible. Seojoon nodded and tapped his chest, making Dahyun happy and fluttered.

"See you on the other side, Seojoon."

That was Dahyun's last words before she vanished in thin air, as Seojoon watched his soul flew out of the window and go upwards into the destination where she can finally rest in peace.

The next day, fulfilling his promise to his stepcousin Dahye; he treated her outside for her birthday as a way to make her special day fun and unforgettable. It was also to distract her from the fact that her father is currently behind bars, Seojoon doesn't want to kid to know yet that his father is a killer.

After Seojoon bought ice cream for him and Dahye, he observed that Dahye was looking at a fast food restaurant where a birthday is being gathered. She saw the kid who is the celebrant along with her father being taken pictures by the guests.

Seojoon went near Dahye and kneeled beside her. He presented the ice cream at her, she accepted and said thank you to him.

"I wish appa is here with us." Dahye said as she directed her gaze back at the party. "Why couldn't he come, oppa?"

Seojoon sighed and pouted, thinking of a way to answer the kid's question. "Because... appa did something wrong, and he has to fix it. That's why for now, I'll be here to become your guardian."

Thankfully, the kid seems to take the explaination nicely. "I'm just jealous, oppa. She has her father with her on her birthday, but I don't."

Dahye frowned and sadly licked her ice cream. Seojoon smiled and swayed some strands of hair behind her ear. "You can call me appa for today if you want."

"Are y-you sure oppa?!"

"Yeah. Since I'm your guardian and I'm the one in charge on behalf of appa, I can stand as your father-figure too, Dahye. You can call me that as much as you want too." He shrugged. "Do you like that?"

Dahye smiled and nodded. "Yes, appa!" She replied as she hugged Seojoon afterwards. He shut his eyes as she indulge the comforting sensation of having his beloved little girl delighted in his company.

Seojoon became determined to grant Dahyun's wishes, and that is to raise Dahye and teach her to become a wonderful person just like her mother.

----------------------------

35 YEARS LATER

In one of the hospital rooms, sounds of cries from the visitors and a flatline from the heartbeat monitor can be heard as the patient who is confined there was just announced his time of death by the doctors who failed to resuscitate his life.

The woman is being comforted by her boyfriend, as she cried harder while grasping the lifeless hand of his father.

"I'll be here for you Dahye, stay strong. You heard him and I don't want to fail him either." the boyfriend said as he rubbed her back, revealing to Dahye who is now an adult and is in her 30's who just suffered a huge loss for the passing of her beloved stepfather and veteran detective Yoon Seojoon at the age of 65.

Meanwhile, Seojoon's newly ascended soul awakened in a foggy ground covered in crystal clear water in a very shallow height.

He slowly raised himself and looked around, where he could only see nothing but baby blue sky.

Noticing that he's in his younger appearance and wearing all white long sleeved shirt and pants while barefoot in the water; he walked ahead at the unknown until a gate standing tall supported with golden bars of fences to defend and guard of what it seems to be an evangelical town appeared out from the fog.

There were two guards who noticed him. He walked through them as they stood their ground with all confidence.

"State your name, lost soul." The guard who's holding a long golden trident asked him authoratively.

"L-lost soul... that means I'm truly dead...?" He whispered to himself. He knew what happened to him but he couldn't believe that this were all happening to him in reality.

"Y-Yoon Seojoon." He said cautiously.

The other guard on the booth flipped the pages of what it seems to be an enchanted book. "He's cleared."

The guard snapped his fingers and the padlocks of the gate went poof out of the air. It opened wide after and the guard stepped aside. "Welcome to the heavens. You may now enter."

Seojoon looked at the guard amazedfully. He walked inside, a white beam suddenly appeared in his body that expanded into a thread that leads to somewhere.

"W-what is this light attached on me?"

"It means that there's another soul here who is waiting to see you. Follow the way and you'll find out." The guard answered.

Seojoon nodded and continues walking. He travelled his eyes around at these unique and surreal surroundings. Everything looks unearthly, magical and spectacular.

He kept following the direction of the white beam connected to him until it came to a pause where he saw the the other end of it. It passes through the walls of a lovely looking house.

As soon as he stepped into the pathway, the door opened. Seojoon's eyes widened too when Dahyun showed up at the door looking at him tenderly.

"D-Dahyun..."

She went out of the house and placed her hands on the back. Her classic black long hair and white dress. She looked simply breathtaking and magnificent just like the first time you've seen her, and seeing her in heaven, there couldn't get even more excellent than this.

"Welcome home, Seojoon."

The two slowly walked towards each other until they closed the space between them and catched theirselves in a warm, longing and blooming embrace. Seojoon teared up as he saw Dahyun's body wrapped in his arms.

"I can finally feel you." Seojoon said as he stroked her silky smooth hair.

Dahyun smiled, feeling grateful as him. "How was your time down there?" she asked.

"It was worth it. Your lessons has what made me feel alive with purpose. And Dahye, she's in good hands now."

They seperated and faced each other dearly. Dahyun was pleased that she can finally get a touch of her lover's attractive face as she cupped it with her small cute hands.

"She had grown up to be a wise, independent lady, thanks to you Seojoon. Thank you." Dahyun nodded and sniffed at her tears. "And now that you're here, we can finally be together whenever we want and start our relationship for all time...

"... always." Seojoon took the turn to finish her words. "I love you, Dahyun."

"I love you too, Seojoon."

Both of them smiled and locked their hands together.

"Unnie! Where are you?" Someone shouted from the house. They both heard it and got alarmed, Seojoon was surprised at the familiar voice.

"There's also someone you would be very glad to see." Dahyun said to him.

The door opened, and Seojoon broke down with more tears as he saw the owner of that voice standing in front of him looking very much alive and enthusiastic.

"O-oppa?"

"H-Ha... Harin..."

"OPPA!"

Her cousin ran at him and Seojoon greeted him with a tight embrace. "Harin... Y-You're here... oh thank God, oppa missed you so much..."

"I missed you too, oppa."

He grabbed the back of his head and kissed her repeatedly on the top. Dahyun was touched at this wholesome scene.

Seojoon stood up and holds both Dahyun and Harin's hands. They formed a circle and Seojoon looked at them admiringly as he finally got reunited with the most cherished ones who entered in his life.

Back on Earth few days later, Dahye was the last person who remained in front the grave of her parents, Dahyun and Seojoon after the funeral ended.

She stared and grieved on their resting place one last time. Dahye pulls out her wallet where it contains the pictures of her and Seojoon and the old picture of Dahyun that serves as her only kept remembrance of her when it was shown to her by Seojoon as he explained to her about Dahyun being her biological mother before.

Dahye sometimes imagines what would it be like if they were a complete family, and she can experience how it feels to have a mother's love.

She looks above the skies, a bittersweet smile displayed in her lips. Dahye securedly holds the pictures into her chest.

"I hope you two are having fun up there. You two deserved it. Rest in peace, eomma and appa."

At the same time in the immaculate heavens far away from the mortal world, Seojoon and Dahyun were playing their favorite piece together in the piano as they sat beside each other while her head is on his shoulder. Harin is on the floor, listening with them while she's coloring her book.

When the song ends, Dahyun leans away and looked at Seojoon lovingly; and the two shared their first ever kiss empowered of nothing but an everlasting love they can exchange for one another on their new life in the eternal paradise called heaven.

[less-than-three-3]

Elden Ring - Fromsoft’s Magnum Opus?

(asks the person who has only previously played Sekiro)

Coming from Sekiro, and with the expectation that I wouldn’t really like the combat in a traditional Dark Souls (just based off impressions), this game really blew me away with how much I enjoyed it! Yeah, shocker, it’s an amazing game, almost like it’s the most awarded game of all time or something. But to me it’s so strange, because there are definitely elements present that I have complained about before in other games or had concerns about going in, but they like, oddly really worked well? And it’s the first game in a long while that I have really immediately wanted to dive back into? (I won’t because I have a decent backlog, but I definitely will sooner than later)

Full thoughts below, with minimal spoilers (but be warned for some small details):

Going into the game (and talking about my expectations for it), I should first briefly mention my experience with Sekiro - a game that I technically still haven’t finished. I beat the first Owl fight and went on to do the true ending stuff and just... got tired, I guess. Not out of boredom but out of stress. That game is stressful, in a good way but stressful nonetheless. Beating Owl after countless tries I was just burnt out and didn’t find the motivation to continue for too long. But undeniably everything about the game is masterfully made, especially the movement and combat dynamics. I think in terms of parry/stance-based combat and swordplay, it’s top notch perfection both among Fromsoft games and just in the genre as a whole, and it’s super satisfying to finally get down. So when some people say Sekiro is the best Fromsoft game, I totally get it. In terms of combat its probably the best they’ve done so far. (Bloodborne is also in commonly in contention, and damn do I want to have access to that game, but I don’t so I can’t really speak to that one) 

So in comparison, seeing, at least based on my perception, the less precise and more... dodge-rolly combat of the more traditional Souls games coming out of Sekiro, I really didn’t expect to enjoy it all too much. I didn’t end up loving it, but there’s certainly a lot to like, and I think the thing that kept me in the whole way through in the combat is actually that stress point I mentioned earlier. With Sekiro, every encounter just felt deadlier, required me to be on my toes the whole time, made sure that I was always alert. It’s fun but damn it can be draining. 

Here, though, a lot of the mobs pretty much get one or two shot past the early-game, or at least don’t require so much precision or have slow attack patterns to the point where my brain doesn’t need to always be firing on all cylinders and always scared of dying. There definitely was that kind of feeling more early game, as I’m just not that strong and I don’t know how to deal with threats, but as I got good (lol) that pretty much disappeared. Maybe part of it has to do with building strength so that I just kinda destroyed a lot of normal mobs at a certain point? (Not to say every mob was easy - there were certainly plenty of pretty tough and also pretty annoying mobs) But it was engaging enough to keep me interested, on top of the exploration and traveling, while still making some high tension moments for minibosses and great enemies. Were the peaks as high as Sekiro? Perhaps not, but I still really loved pretty much all the boss design. It’s so impressive to have boss fights that aren’t technically even really that hard, but feel so fucking awesome (Radahn is my highlight, though Rykard and Godrick were certainly also super cool fights), on top of the classic “beat your ass into submission until you break your bad habits and develop a real plan” bosses (i am malenia blade of miquella). That said I really didn’t feel the difficulty was like rage-inducing at all, maybe that’s just that this game is easier than other Souls games or maybe I’m just gamer or maybe I chose a baby build or maybe I got a tad overleveled idk. It was definitely challenging and I died many many many times, but I almost felt like the preconception was scarier than the game itself.

The second key to me was sort of exploration, but not really in the same way as, like, a BotW where you see a distant landmark and you just climb your way over to it. There were castles and ruins that you could do that with but it wasn’t really what I explored for. It wasn’t like, seeing new enemies and gathering new abilities and equipment, because I was pretty much just a big sword melee build the entire way through, with some experimentation with the weapon but not that much. I don’t really know what it was, maybe it was the allure of having a boss fight at the end, or I just enjoyed running around and killing shit, pushing forward to the next grace? Whatever it was, it really encouraged me to keep going forward. The exploration almost felt Metroidvania in a way, which maybe is a dumb comparison looking at, like, Hollow Knight (which is a soulslike for a reason), but it really activated that neuron and I’m not sure why. 

Oddly enough the lore and learning about the world really enthralled me too, which feels strange to me because typically games that, for lack of better words, unravel lore as you just travel and notice things don’t click that well for me. I think it was partially the way that they presented it - in that pretty much all of the basics of the lore is shown and explained to you in character dialogue, boss monologues, side quests, and are thus delivered pretty naturally. What usually ticks me off is expecting me to read a bunch of like item descriptions or random tablets with lore posts to actually understand what’s going on - that wasn’t the case here, between the opening cutscene, Melina’s guidance, and much of the side-quest and boss dialogue, the world was built very effectively and things clicked. I’m sure if you looked really into item descriptions and stuff you’d gain more detail, but you pretty much get the whole gist of the world, how it got here and what it’s like, and what your position is just by playing the game. I’m not sure how much of that is George RR Martin’s doing, but like it worked really well for me, and it definitely gives major SMT vibes. I really love the world that they built. The physical structure of the game definitely helped too - being able to sort of see things at your own pace. Early on, to me, it felt like the open world was almost overwhelming if not unnecessary, and while I don’t necessarily think it’s absolutely the best part of the game, I feel like it really helped everything feel more connected. 

Speaking of SMT, this game really unleashed the “build planner obsession” part of my brain, and it’s exactly why I really want to do a NG+ or just a fresh start soon. Even though I was pretty committed to the high strength big sword big doink big damage direction (and that was pretty limited admittedly in terms of diversity), just seeing all the weapons and arts and enchants and spells I felt all my gears turning and thinking about what I could possibly do. Having relatively easy access to respeccing after a certain point also definitely didn’t help the brainworms. I really wanted to beat the game with just pure raw fundies first (read: dodging around and swinging the giant sword) but I can definitely see myself having changed around builds a lot, and that’s probably what I plan to do the next time I play it. Maybe when the DLC comes out? (I had and will continue to try to avoid bleed and full sorcery, because I recall hearing those were pretty broken, but we’ll see where things go. Also there have been a few patches so maybe that’s outdated lol)

If there is any standout weakness to me it’s probably the music/sound design? Not that it’s bad by any means, just entirely unmemorable. I never had a Nightmare King Grimm or Soul Sanctum moment of awe, or really felt creeped out or otherwise felt that the ambience was anything other than, well, ambience. I think for what it is it works well enough, but I definitely love to see music really add to the life (or lack thereof!) of a game’s environments, so if there is any disappointment, there it is. 

So is this the best fromsoft game ever?? Best game ever??? I certainly think this is a really good example of how to do a great open world from a lore and exploration viewpoint - Fromsoft adapted the “genre” into the Dark Souls backbone excellently. I wouldn’t call it my favorite ever, but I think it is probably my favorite Fromsoft game (out of 2), in part because it scratches so many of my brain niches. Of course Sekiro is a great game, and I think it is a very different type of peak that Fromsoft achieved, and these two peaks can definitely coexist. Sekiro has an incredibly well designed combat system and bosses to complement it, and a fairly streamlined and straightforward experience, in terms both of narrative and playstyle (everyone gets the same tools pretty much except choice of prosthetic). Elden Ring is a sprawling, epic world of dungeons, lore, and character builds that one could easily sink hundreds of hours into and have vastly different experiences every time. Fromsoft has very clearly polished two very different directions with these games.

anyways I can’t wait to do this all again when I eventually get a playstation and get bloodborne

[linklethehistorian]

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with offering an explanation — nothing wrong with it at all. 

However — and here’s the key thing about why it seems like some people dislike explanations — there’s a difference between an honest-to-goodness explanation, and something that actually feels like an excuse (whether intended or not) wrapped up as one.

I understand it’s probably very easy to hear the phrase “intention doesn’t matter” or “an explanation is not an excuse” and assume that what people are saying with it is “no one cares about your intentions”, but that isn’t what those phrases mean; as you will see in a lot of the comments below this post and I’m sure many reblogs, most people — myself included — actually do want to know your intentions behind your actions, and knowing they weren’t malicious will, in a lot of cases, make us feel slightly better.

What those phrases really mean is very simply that “your intentions, whether good or not, don’t change or lesson the negative impact your previous words or actions had on the person to whom you are apologizing”; it means that just because you intended something different to be the outcome of what you said or did, that does not mean it requires any lesser of an apology or for you to take it any less seriously than if you had hurt them on purpose.

And yes, I get it: it’s scary as Hell sometimes when you meant for something good to come out of what you did, but it turned into the complete opposite. I know it can be beyond terrifying when you desperately want to explain that you didn’t mean for it to be this way, but you’re afraid that if you say anything it will come out as an excuse in the eyes of the person you’re apologizing to, and they’ll tell you to stop.

I do sympathize, but having been on both ends of this before (and even as someone who usually does willfully try to explain why a given type of explanation may be more harmful than helpful when on the receiving end of an apology, if it comes to that), there’s something you desperately need to understand: it is not on the person you hurt — intentionally or otherwise — to sit down and explain to you while they’re still hurting where and how precisely you went wrong in trying to explain things and how you can do so better in the future. If they decide to explain it to you on their own, without prompting, then great; hear them out and learn what you can do going forward in those situations, but no one who has been hurt is under an obligation to put their pain aside and concern themselves in that moment with how them being further hurt by your words and asking you to stop made you feel. If you feel that they should, then at that point, it is no longer about apologizing and caring about the hurt you caused them, so much as it is you making the conversation about you and your feelings and needs instead.

If you want to sit down way later once things have been resolved and they’ve been better and on good terms with you again for awhile, then feel free to have that conversation with them when that time comes, yes; that’s very thoughtful of you and it’s something to be commended, but in the moment of your apology is never the time to be questioning the hurt party on why they don’t want that explanation of yours.

That’s why I’m going to give you here and now — away from all in-the-moment apologies and arguments and thus free of hurting someone — a list of things you should probably avoid when trying to explain yourself in a way that won’t result in you further hurting the person you’re apologizing to, some reasons why each one is a problem, and what you should do instead to hopefully get the message across loud and clear that you aren’t just handing them an excuse to lessen the severity of what you did or said to them.

(Disclaimer: this is only a list made from my own personal experiences of being on both ends of an apology from or towards various people in my life; it is by no means an exhaustive list and some of these may vary from person to person in regards to how they interpret certain words or phrases. This is only meant to give you better odds at getting through a scenario without hurting the person you are apologizing to if you’re in a pinch; it does not guarantee success, and at the end of the day, you should probably someday still look into what your friend themselves wants from an apology and why, on a day when they’re not hurting and are happy to talk about it with you.

This is also under the assumption that the person in question whom you wish to apologize to genuinely deserves that apology and is not just someone manipulating you into having guilt over something that isn’t your fault. Obviously there are people in the world who don’t deserve your apology over something; this post is not about them.)

I will also have to add the rest in a second reblog because I’ve run out of space. 😭

For those of you may reading just this reblog, the link to the other half is here.

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

[nickgerlich]

Machine Language

It is one of the most contentious of debates hitting retailers and restaurateurs these days. In their attempt to modernize and incorporate technology at every turn, they invariably wind up offending some customers’ sensibilities, as well as confusing those who no have tech savvy.

And then there are people like me who embrace all the change and have no problem using technology to make my life easier, which I am sure also benefits the business. Bring it, please, and hurry.

I could only be talking about self-serve kiosks, the touch screens and self-scanners that cause people to lose their minds over on social media. They fear jobs being lost and all manner of hypothetical ills. Maybe that’s just a cover for their inability to navigate the onscreen menus, but either way, there has been a line drawn in the sand between those who love and those who hate these things.

But a recent report yields a surprising conclusion: They’ve not been nearly as bad as some speculated, and all those fears of job losses simply did not materialize. In fact, by letting customers do the mundane part of the transaction—the ordering—it frees up employees to perform other essential tasks that help improve the customer experience.

The benefits of self-serve kiosks, especially in restaurants, are significant. The service level is consistent, removing the human element. Variability both within and between employees is removed by machines that always pitch the upsell at the precise same moment, and customized for each customer. In fact, with AI, it can be better than humans, because the order can be analyzed up to that point and relevant add-ons proposed that fit what the customer ordered.

It’s much better than just “Would you like fries with that shake?” No, now the machine-driven order taker can notice that you ordered a specific type of sauce to go on your taco, and would you like more?

Although fast food is not my thing, I confess to occasionally stopping at a Taco Bell while on long road trips, because I know that I can get bespoke burritos all courtesy of their kiosks. I can add this, delete that, to a far greater degree than you can do just standing there talking to a human, because the majority of the add-ons aren’t even on the menu. Well, not the one hanging on the wall behind the clerk. I am in and out of there in 10 minutes, and back on the road. Avocado and black beans? Yes, please.

Of course, there are downsides to kiosks. If you replace the human interaction aspect completely, thereby forcing customers to use the machines, there may be pushback. Some people are simply intimidated by them, and require assistance. This slows down the process. And, a study has shown that if there is a line at the machines, the same thing happens as when there’s a line to order with a human: We get cranky and order less. Or walk out.

As for supermarkets and other retailers with self-check kiosks, there is the increased risk of theft. It’s just too easy, especially with savvy thieves who tap the screen such that it thinks you are weighing bananas, but in fact laying a T-Bone steak on the scale, it’s easy to see how stores can wind up losing money.

As for me, I am a huge advocate of the self-serve kiosks. I don’t go shopping for chit-chat. I want to expedite everything. I also like packing my own groceries into my reusable shopping bags. Since I have Walmart+, I can simply scan a QR code when I’m ready to leave, and it charges the card I have on file within the app. Easy peasy. Call me a control freak, but I have this down. You can thank COVID for this. I cut my teeth on the system back then, and am now pro level.

I suspect that line in the sand is also a demarcation between younger and older shoppers, those most open to, and resistant to, change. Ooooh. There’s that word again. I use it a lot in every one of my classes. It’s a generational thing, digital natives versus the geezers who have spent their entire lives trying to keep up with all the changes around them.

It’s understandable, and to be honest, my students, you may very well just be geezers in training. I won’t be around, but please do a self-check—the personal reflection kind—when you hit 65. You may find yourself resisting technology that hasn’t even been invented yet.

Meanwhile, I have to make a Walmart run soon, probably later today. And you know where I will be when it’s time to wrap it up.

Dr “In And Out” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[sincerely-krp]

About Nocturne and Paradigm

Hello, this is Verona’s writer. I’m only coming forward because this is getting out of hand.

  I know the admin of Nocturne and they’re not Paradigm, I dislike those guys as much as anyone with common sense. Like me, I know Nocturne admins were in Paradigm briefly and also left after the racism incident. 

  Why is Paradigm liking their post? Take a wild guess. They love inserting themselves in the drama even if they later come here to ask to be left alone. They keep using your assumptions to make sure other rps get closed before they’re even open. 

But they take advantage of that because YOU do that. You just want to believe it’s them so you have something new to hate on. The rp that had to close because people were sending dead threads to them? You need to realise this is getting out of hand.

  Do you want to keep using any detail to claim it’s them? Okay let’s go. 

Why do they have so many apps already? People write in rps and form connections with writers. And when we know of new places, we invite them to come and keep writing with them. For every person you invite, you might get them inviting another 2. I’ve shown that rp to people that like to write because they CAN’T find a rp to write in, because guess again, THEY’RE NOWHERE. So while Nocturne is not the other group of friends rp either, I do know many of the writers behind those muses, because we wrote in multiple rps together, so yes, some of us are friends.

  But what about the similar fcs, you say? Oh you mean fcs that get taken almost right away in many rps? And anyone can use them. Can I vouch for every single muse that is already waiting in their acceptance post? No, I can’t. If one of Paradigm joins to spy, do drama or who knows what, I can’t know, yet. 

  But the aEsThEtIc- It’s a template. People like to make their rp look good because also, some of you refuse to join a rp if they don’t have nice graphics. But if they do have that, then it must be Paradigm. Make it make sense, really.

  But the application is- Stop, please. There have been other rps requiring writing samples. Because some that don’t bother writing or reading their lore will still try to join, to do what? Who knows. 

  But the lore is so similar! Have you read their carrd? Where they state where they’re getting inspiration from? Are now vampires exclusive of Paradigm’s previous rp? When it was basically The originals? Please. This is not the main admin’s first rodeo and they work hard making lore and the rp. It pisses me off how you’re treating their rp when it’s not even open.

I’m seriously tired of seeing a rp being dragged in Paradigm’s mess just because people have nothing better to do. Do you want to believe it’s them? Then don’t join. I assure you it’s not the rp’s loss, but yours. 

But if you do love writing, and want to find more people to develop a muse with, give it a chance. I’m going to be there, and unlike some of those Paradigm members, I know most of the members won’t have ridiculous elitist demands in order to write with them. They’re friendly and great at plotting and writing. 

And if someone pulled any toxic behaviour like in Paradigm? I’d call them out too. 

  Now can you please stop with this talk and show some respect to any other rp that might come out? These attacks must be so discouraging for many admins that want to create a place but don’t want to face this kind of hate that they have not earned at all. So what if Paradigm is opening another rp? If you happen to join that one you’re going to know pretty soon, and then, as long as you have proof, we can believe it and avoid it like the plague.

Have you also considered that maybe they spread that rumour to make precisely this kind of mess? Let’s face it, they know they can’t start fresh in another rp they build, because they won’t be able to leave behind the mess they’ve made. But instead of accepting it, they go cry wolf on any other rp opening. This is their ridiculous way to try to stay relevant. 

Why are y’all still entertaining an entitled bunch of people that just want the attention? Indifference is what I’d give them after all this.  sincerely admin edit: proof of identification was sent to us in our dms!

[thedisneychef]

What is the Meaning of Recipe? Exploring the History

Hi everyone! Have you ever come across a recipe and been unsure what it means? If so, then this article is for you. I'm here to explain the meaning of 'recipe' in an easy-to-understand way. Recipes can be confusing if you don't know how to interpret them correctly, but with a bit of guidance, anyone can learn how to read one. In this article, I'll go over the definition of 'recipe' and provide some tips on understanding recipes better. So let's get started! Meaning Of A Recipe A recipe is a set of instructions for preparing food. It outlines the ingredients and cooking techniques required to create a specific dish, as well as portion sizes. Knowing how to use recipes effectively is an important skill in any kitchen - from the home cook to professional chefs, everyone needs recipes! I rely heavily on recipes when I'm cooking, whether it's something simple like spaghetti or a more complex culinary feat like French macarons. Recipes provide me with all the information I need to make sure my dish turns out just right – from what kind of pan or oven temperature to use, which ingredients are needed in what amounts and even tips on presentation. Not only do recipes help me learn new dishes and cuisines, they also allow me to recreate old favorites with ease. With just one glance at the list of ingredients and steps, I can whip up my family’s favorite meals without having memorize them first. Following a good recipe ensures that each time you make a particular dish, it will turn out exactly the same way every single time! Ingredients In A Recipe The ingredients in a recipe are the foundation for creating a delicious dish. They specify what is needed, including quantity measurements and cooking techniques to use when preparing the meal. Without clear instructions on how much of an ingredient is necessary or how it should be prepared, one may end up with something that does not turn out as expected. For example, if you’re baking cookies and don't know exactly how much butter to add, they could come out too dry or too greasy. Similarly, if you skip key steps such as creaming together butter and sugar before adding other ingredients, your cookies might lack desired texture. To make sure everything turns out perfectly, follow the exact directions given in the recipe – paying special attention to quantity measurements and cooking techniques mentioned. Cooking doesn’t have to be hard or complicated but following a good recipe can help ensure success! Whether you’re just starting out or are an experienced cook looking for some new ideas, understanding quantities and how food should be cooked will always remain important factors in making great meals. Steps Of A Recipe Now that you know what ingredients to get for a recipe, it's time to put everything together. The most important part of preparing a dish is understanding the techniques used in cooking. Each technique requires precision and knowledge so as not to ruin your meal! Grocery shopping can be an intimidating task if you don't have experience looking for certain items or brands. To make sure you get all the right ingredients, look up recipes online and follow step-by-step instructions on how they should be prepared. Knowing the different cooking techniques will help you understand which ingredients are essential for each dish. For example, baking uses dry heat while simmering involves low temperatures with liquid present in the pot. All these steps must be taken into account when planning out your grocery list. As long as you do your research beforehand and properly plan out what needs to purchased at the store, you'll have no trouble getting started with any recipe. With a good set of instructions and proper execution, anyone can become a chef! Tips For Reading Recipes I always find that reading recipes can be tricky, so I have some tips to help make it easier. First of all, take a look at the cooking techniques involved in making your dish - this will give you an idea of how much time and effort is necessary for each step. It's also important to pay attention to portion sizes; if you want to cook a smaller or larger amount than what is specified, then you'll need to adjust the ingredient measurements accordingly. Finally, don't be afraid to ask questions! If there's something confusing or unclear about the recipe, reach out to someone with experience in the kitchen and they should be able to point you in the right direction. With these helpful tips, you're sure to become more confident when tackling any recipe. Understanding Recipe Terminology I'm sure you've heard the word 'recipe' used a lot before, but what does it actually mean? A recipe is simply an instruction manual for cooking something. It typically lists all of the ingredients needed to prepare the meal and gives step-by-step instructions on how to make it. Knowing recipes can help with grocery shopping by giving you a list of items that need to be purchased ahead of time, as well as helping with kitchen organization so things don't get mixed up in the process. Recipes are usually written in terms that are easy to understand, making them great resources even if you're just starting out or are still learning your way around the kitchen. They often include helpful tips like what type of pan or utensil should be used when prepping certain dishes and ideas for adapting a recipe based on dietary restrictions or different tastes. Some recipes might also provide information about nutritional content which can come in handy when planning balanced meals throughout the day. Having a good collection of recipes at hand will give you more confidence while cooking, no matter whether you’re looking for something quick and easy or trying out something new and exciting! Experimenting with flavors and techniques is a great way to become more comfortable in the kitchen - who knows, maybe one day you'll be able to create your own signature dish! Frequently Asked Questions What Is The Best Way To Store A Recipe? The best way to store a recipe is by using an app. There are plenty of apps available that make sharing recipes with others easy and efficient, such as Allrecipes or Yummly. These apps allow you to save all your favorite recipes in one place so you can access them anytime. You can even add notes to each recipe with helpful tips and tricks, making it easier for friends and family to follow your instructions when they're cooking up something delicious! How Do I Determine The Serving Size Of A Recipe? When it comes to calculating servings size for a recipe, portion control is key. It can be difficult to determine how many people a single dish will serve and this can be tricky when you’re cooking for a large group of people. The best way to accurately calculate the serving size of your recipes is by taking basic measurements into account such as ounces or cups per person and then multiplying them accordingly depending on how many servings you want in total. This method ensures that everyone gets an equal amount of food and no one goes hungry! How Do I Convert A Recipe To A Different Cuisine? If you’re looking to convert a recipe from one cuisine to another, it can be easier than you think! The key is understanding the core cooking techniques and ingredients used in each cuisine. For example, substituting different spices into your recipes can help give it an authentic taste of the newcuisine. You may also want to adjust any other seasonings or flavors accordingly so that they work within the context of the new cuisine. With these tips as a guide, converting a recipe shouldn't be too difficult. What Are The Differences Between A Recipe And A Menu? A recipe and a menu are both important elements of cooking, but they differ in some key ways. Recipes provide step-by-step instructions on how to prepare a specific dish or meal, while menus typically list the dishes that are available at an establishment for their customers to choose from. Additionally, recipes often include measurements and detailed descriptions about cooking techniques and food science, whereas menus usually just list the ingredients used to make each dish. Ultimately, it’s up to you as the cook to decide which one fits your needs best! How Do I Adjust A Recipe To Make It More Nutritious? Adjusting a recipe to make it more nutritious is easier than you think! Pay attention to portion control and food safety while making the adjustments. Consider reducing or cutting out added sugars, fats and salt in your recipes by replacing them with healthier ingredients such as whole grain flour instead of white flour and low-fat dairy products. You can also replace sugary sauces or dressings with natural alternatives like olive oil vinaigrette. Finally, increase the nutritional content of your dish by adding vegetables, nuts, seeds and other nutrient-dense foods that are rich in vitamins and minerals. Conclusion Cooking is an art form, and recipes are the tools that make it possible. They give us a way to explore different cuisines and experiment with new flavors and ingredients. With careful consideration of cooking techniques, serving size, storage methods, nutrition content and more, we can create dishes that bring joy to our families and friends. Understanding what recipe means helps us become better cooks – chefs even! By taking into account all aspects of a recipe as well as experimenting with different cuisines, we can create delicious meals that everyone will enjoy. So don’t be afraid to get creative in the kitchen, you never know what amazing dish you might come up with! Read the full article

[crystalelemental]

Sync Pair Retrospective - Sygna Suit Lyra

Pfft, yeah okay.  Sure, we're going to talk about what shifted for SS Lyra, right guys.  ...oh god, you're serious.

When you are the only unit in the game commonly cited to be nearly on par with SST Red, a guy who can solo literally the entire game, you know you've got it made.

SS Lyra is insane.   Guaranteed flinch rate, at first, did not seem any better to me than guaranteed sleep.  It's the same annoying timing lockdown, so what's the use?  Apparently, the use is that it's a passive, and Lyra can select another move before the opponent flinches, which gets you another action in the queue. And that action can be "Smack the next fool trying to throw hands."  Lyra is unchallenged in her lockdown.  The fact that she also debuffs a random stat by -2 every attack?  And has Grassy Terrain? And a Pride passive for Johto?  And a decent sync nuke?  And-

Lyra immediately burst onto the scene as a Gauntlet solo bot.  At present, she has 11 wins.  The only one she cannot beat is Tornadus, who becomes immune to flinch, and has too much damage reduction for her to work past.  If only she'd cheated and used a personal passive, it would've been 12.  But in team compositions, she was also invaluable for the Grass-types that were begging for their long-awaited terrain.   Seriously, Psychic and Electric had been around forever, and now Zones are a thing; where is Grassy Terrain?  Apparently on this nonsense.

The major core that arose from this was SS Morty/SS Lyra/Erika.  People instantly took note of how hard SS Erika started to hit with both field effects in play, and the lockdown added in to Morty's obscene defense meant nothing was threatening your team.  You were, completely and without question, safe.  This was the most notorious core, but it's that last bit that's significant.

Talking about how SS Lyra "changed" is impossible.  Because she didn't.  At no point has a perfectly executed lockdown ever been out of style.  Oh sure, you can argue that 50 points in Interference Immunity, but just turn it off.   Put the points literally anywhere else, you'll be glad you did.  So long as that Terrain is up, and Lyra costs 0 gauges, you are eternally in business.  And I do mean eternally.  Every comp benefits from what Lyra does.  She's non-specific in that way; a tech everyone can, to some degree, make use of.

Which...probably explains why I find her so hard to use?  I dunno, I like compositions that are doing something, and the only time Lyra does something is when she's supplying Terrain.  Her debuffs are random so she doesn't help there, and while she can buff, it's hard to justify over a typical flinch-lock.  I guess the application of Confuse and Trap is nice for Interference Sync and the like?  But Lyra's never been one I'm like...itching to break out, you know? The only thing I do repeatedly caution is that Lyra is in need of gauge when Terrain isn't up.  Sure, she's fine while it's up, but when it turns off, now she's needing a lot of help.  And that can pose problems.  She doesn't need a ton of gauge control, but doing what I do and running her with Dawn and SC Lyra is, as it turns out, stupid.  Keep at least a little speed on your side, and she'll manage just fine.

But I don't have anything to say.  Lyra wants for basically nothing.  She's exceptional in such unbelievable ways, and yet I can't bring myself to hate her like I do with SST Red.  I think it's because Lyra requires such insane precision timing that it's like okay, yes she can solo all this stuff, but doing so is the equivalent of driving spikes into your eyes.  Whereas Red feels like "If you had him 3/5, you win."  Which is way more boring.  I guess that's really the point. DeNA, if you're gonna make stuff broken, at least make it interesting.

HEY YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!  Time for “I didn’t account for the possibility of the Tapu and what they would do to this!”

Yeah, listen.  Sygna Suit Acerola may have taken away the very specific niche of Sun-reliant physical grass strikers from Lyra, but that’s legitimately just in name only.  Unlike Morty, who kinda did have his role ripped away with this, Lyra...does not care.  Like, at all.  In a CS context, Lyra’s actually in love with this adjustment, because immediate Grassy Terrain means immediate free gauges, and terrain extension means no one’s getting to move.  Forget bringing a gun to a sword fight, Lyra’s bringing a cannon.  And in longer stages, if you really want to dunk on Gauntlet this way, Acerola can’t replenish her Terrain, so Lyra having that ability is great.  Sure, it removes the insane nonsense that SC Steven does from Acerola’s core, but the tradeoff is basically perfect, infinite lockdown.  Oh, and the Pride Master Passive, which is added physical DPS with a support that emphasizes physical DPS.  So like.  Okay.  Someone introducing a competitor to your type just made you even more dangerous.  Figure that out.

But supposing there is a limitation and you run them separately, as stated, Acerola can’t replenish her Terrain, while Lyra can.  So as far as broad Grass-type support, Lyra’s got it.  To say nothing of how many gimmicks she checks.  Or that she solos 11 of the 12 stages but ignore that.  Lyra also can do stacks of physical moves up next.  And supports special with trainer move.  So she’s...more versatile as well.

What I mean is Lyra didn’t miss a beat.  A competitor arose and she just laughed and was like “Cool, now I’m even stronger.”  Like...what do you do to stop something like this?  How do you stop the ultimate disruption machine?  I guess Interference Immunity, but like...just don’t select that in CS.  I dunno, man.  Lyra feels kind of invincible.  I know there’s someone arguably above her, and we’ll get to that loser when anniversary runs around, but by and large I appreciate Lyra so much more.  Because she’s outrageous, but because of her supportive effects, while still being able to do the damage thing when desired.  She actually supports.  Which is what I want for a field effect setter.  I don’t like when they hog the spotlight, and outperform the people they’re aiming to support.  And Lyra?  Lyra does just that.  While also being one of the most outrageous options in the game.

[bestledsupply]

Can You Cut Led Light Strips

Hey everyone! Have you ever wanted to create a custom lighting setup in your home? Well, if you have then one option is using LED light strips. But did you know that it's possible for you to cut them up and customize their length? It can be tricky but with the right guidance, it's totally doable. In this article, I'm going to show you how to properly cut LED light strips so let's get started!

Preparing To Cut

I'm here to tell you that yes, it is possible to cut LED light strips. Before getting started, though, there are a few things I want to make sure you know. The first and most important step is marking the layout of where you'd like the cuts to be made.

Make sure to measure the distance between each mark so that your cuts will all be even in size. Additionally, it's also good practice to double-check your measurements before making any cuts just to make sure everything looks right. Now that you've gotten an idea of what needs to be done before cutting into those LED light strips, let's talk about how best to go about actually doing it!

Choosing The Right Tool

When it comes to cutting LED light strips, the process can be a bit daunting. Selecting the right size is essential for achieving your desired end product. If you have an idea of what length or shape you want your lights to take on, then calculating the necessary strip sizes will become much easier. You should also consider any additional needs such as connectors and mounting hardware that may need to be included in the total measurement. Once you’ve determined which tool would best suit your project, the next step is actually making careful cuts along the strip with precision. It's important not to rush this part; if possible, use a ruler or measuring tape when trimming them so that each cut is even and straight. Additionally, special tools are available specifically designed for cutting LEDs - these allow for more accurate measurements and less waste material than traditional scissors or knives. The most important thing to remember when working with LED light strips is safety first! Be sure to unplug all power sources before beginning work and wear protective clothing while handling sharp objects like scissors or blades. With proper preparation and attention to detail, you'll easily create beautiful lighting designs using LED light strips!

Cutting The Led Light Strips

I'm looking into cutting LED light strips and I'm curious to find out more information. First, I want to know what types of LED strips are out there and which ones can be cut. Then, I need to know the process of actually cutting them. Finally, I'm interested in learning how to connect the strips together after they've been cut. This seems like a daunting task, but I'm excited to get started! Types Of Led Strips Cutting LED light strips can be a great way to customize your lighting setup, but you first need to know what type of strip you're dealing with. Most LED strips come in two varieties - those that require powering from an external source and those that are self-powered through batteries or solar energy. The powered ones usually have leads on both ends so they can draw power from the wall outlet, while the self-powered versions often don't include this feature. Before cutting any kind of LED strip, it's important to take safety precautions like unplugging them or removing any batteries before starting work. If your lights are connected directly to mains electricity, make sure to switch off all circuits at the breaker box before beginning. Whatever type of LED light strip you choose, cutting them correctly is essential for getting the desired effect without damaging the wiring or risking injury. So take your time and double check everything before snipping away! Cutting Process Once you've taken the necessary safety precautions, it's time to start cutting your LED light strips. The first step is measuring the distance of where you want to cut and deciding on what length you need for that specific area. Making sure to measure twice before making any cuts can save a lot of hassle in the long run! It's also important to use sharp scissors or wire cutters when snipping away - dull blades are more likely to leave frayed ends which could cause shorts in the wiring. Once all these steps have been completed, you're ready to install your newly customized lighting setup! Connecting Strips Now that you've cut your LED light strips to the desired length, it's time to move onto connecting them together. Depending on what type of connector is being used, this process can be fairly easy or require more technical skill such as soldering.

If you have connectors already installed at the end of each strip then all you need to do is line up the positive and negative terminals and snap them into place. For those who don't have pre-installed connectors however, you'll need to solder the two wires together for a secure connection. Just make sure not to overheat the wires when soldering or else they could melt! With everything connected properly, your lighting setup should now be ready to go - no more worrying about shorts from frayed ends!

Sealing The Cut Ends

Now that you've cut your LED light strips, it's time to make sure the ends are sealed. This is important because if they're not properly sealed, moisture and dirt can get in and cause corrosion or other damage. There are several sealing techniques available. You could use electrical tape which provides a good seal but isn't very aesthetically pleasing. Alternatively, you could apply an adhesive specially designed for LED lighting applications. These adhesives come in various types including silicone-based, acrylic-based, and epoxy-based products depending on the application requirements of your project. It's important to choose one that will provide superior protection from water ingress and dust accumulation while also providing excellent flexibility over long periods of time. No matter which option you pick, be sure to follow the manufacturer’s instructions carefully when applying any type of adhesive so as to create a secure bond with no air gaps between the strip and surface material. That way you can ensure maximum performance out of your LED light strips for years to come.

Installing The Led Light Strips

I'm going to walk you through how to cut LED light strips. The first step is deciding where and how you want to mount your lights. There are several mounting methods, such as adhesives or clips, so it's important to choose the one that works best for your project. Next, make sure all electrical safety protocols are followed when cutting the strip - this means turning off any power sources before beginning work. Now that we've gone over safety, let's talk about actually doing the cutting. It's important to remember that if a single chip on an LED strip isn't working properly, that doesn't mean the whole string has to be replaced! You can use scissors or wire snips to cut most types of flexible LED tapes into segments at marked intervals along their length (usually around every 3 LEDs). Make sure not to leave exposed wires after cutting; instead, seal up open ends with shrink wrap or electric tape. That's it! If you follow these instructions carefully, you'll have no trouble cutting and installing your own LED light strips in no time.

Frequently Asked Questions

How Can I Determine The Right Length Of Led Light Strips For My Space? Determining the right length of LED light strips for your space is a crucial step when installing them. The most important factor to consider is your lighting needs, as well as how and where you plan on connecting the strips. Once these considerations have been made, measure the space you’re planning on illuminating, then decide which type of connectors are best suited for the installation. Depending on what kind of look you're aiming for, you can cut your LED light strip down to size if needed – just make sure you keep in mind that some types of connectors won't be able to reconnect after cutting! What Type Of Power Supply Should I Use With My Led Light Strips? Choosing the right power supply for your LED light strips is essential. You need to consider both the power rating and voltage selection in order to make sure you get the best performance out of your lights. The power rating should be equal or greater than that of the total wattage used by all connected LEDs, while the voltage needs to match what's recommended for your specific product.

It may seem overwhelming but it doesn't have to be: many manufacturers offer pre-calculated kits that include everything you need! Is It Safe To Connect Multiple Led Light Strips Together? It's perfectly safe to connect multiple LED light strips together, as long as the dimming options and strip length are compatible. If you're using a single power supply for all of your connected strips, make sure it has enough wattage to support them - otherwise, you may experience flickering or reduced brightness in some areas. When connecting two sets of lights together, pay attention to how they will be installed and positioned so that there is no overlap between the two connections. Can I Use Led Light Strips Outdoors? Yes, you can use LED light strips outdoors - but it's not as easy as just plugging them in. You'll first want to make sure your LED lights are waterproof and capable of withstanding the elements. Additionally, when installing your outdoor LED lighting, take extra precaution to ensure that they're properly sealed against moisture and protected from dust particles. Depending on where you plan to install them, you may need additional protection such as a weatherproof casing or sealant around each individual connection point. Lastly, don't forget about installation tips like keeping your wiring away from sharp objects and ensuring all connections are secure before powering up. Are There Any Safety Precautions I Should Take When Using Led Light Strips? When using LED light strips, it's important to consider the safety precautions you should take. Make sure that any wiring connections are properly insulated and sealed off with heat shrink tubing or electrical tape. Also, be aware of different methods for installing your LED lights so that they're secure; adhesive backings can help keep them in place. If you plan on cutting the LED strip, use wire cutters instead of scissors – this will prevent damage from occurring.

Conclusion

When it comes to LED light strips, there are a lot of factors to consider. From determining the right length for your space to knowing which power supply you need, these decisions can be overwhelming. However, with a little research and preparation, you can make sure that your LED light strip set-up is safe and effective. In addition to researching the technical aspects of LED lighting, it's important to take safety precautions such as using surge protectors or disconnecting lights when not in use. With some careful planning and consideration, you'll have everything you need for successful installation and use of LED light strips in any environment! Read the full article

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

Self Ship Valentines - Day 13

Prompt: “Preparations”

Description: Lorenz wants to go all out for the Day of Devotion; unfortunately, hiding his grand plans from Bronwen is a complete mess to try and pull off.... one that nearly gets him caught multiple times.

“Do you really think we have time to sort all of this out, Lorenz...?” Marianne asked, voice a bit low as she looked over the plans she and her friends had gone over, “The Day of Devotion is tomorrow.”

“We will if we work together! I still can’t believe a group of bandits dared to interfere with the order I placed before... the nerve of them!” Lorenz said, muttering the last part to himself in frustration, “Regardless, Bronwen is my chosen lover. She’s the one I will spend my life with. I simply cannot allow for a mediocre Day of Devotion celebration! She deserves only the best.”

Ignatz took the paper from Marianne and looked it over himself. He had to adjust his glasses as his eyes widened, “Uh... wow.... this is quite the last minute plan.”

Lorenz nodded, “It is unfortunately toned down I’m afraid, but it will have to do. That aside, I will need everyone’s help with setting this up. Bronwen cannot be made aware of it! It needs to be a surprise.”

Hilda took a peek at the paper, pausing with a hum, “I get that... but I don’t think she cares much about big displays like this. I don’t think you need to worry, Lorenz.”

“I know she doesn’t need it to be happy, but she deserves it. I need to make sure she gets what she deserves, not just what she needs.” Lorenz sighed, “Please, I’m running out of time. I can’t do this without your help. Will you please provide your assistance? I will be in your debt for it.”

“Alright.... I suppose we can help.” Ignatz said, looking to the others with a slow nod, “Don’t worry about repayment. We’re doing this to help a friend.”

Lorenz let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you... now, let’s hurry to work. We don’t have a minute to waste.”

-------------

Bronwen sung a quiet song to herself as she wandered about the gardens, Ignatz and Raphael around the corner hoping not to be seen. They moved back a bit, staying further than they may have needed to just to ensure Bronwen wouldn’t see them. Well- it seems the first hurdle came quickly enough.

“How are we supposed to get fresh roses without making her suspect us?” Raphael asked, “She’s real smart, there’s no way she’ll believe it if we say it’s for someone else!”

Ignatz shifted a bit in his spot, thinking for a moment, “Maybe we can distract her while one of us gathers flowers? Or lure her away to some other spot so she’s not in the gardens. But it’s hard to do that without coming off as suspicious.”

“No, wait- that’s a great idea! I’ll go to distract, you get the roses!” Raphael said with a smile, already walking off from their spot, “I’ll have her in the manor in no time.”

“Raph, wait-!” Ignatz tried to stop him and warn him about places to be avoided, but it was too late. Raphael was already off to speak to Bronwen, and Ignatz just had to take a deep breath and get the flower cutters, charging into the garden once Raphael was already chatting with Bronwen. Ignatz tried to be as quiet as possible, heading to the most distant bushes from them in order to snip off the flowers Lorenz needed.

“Hey, Bronwen! Long time no see!” Raphael greeted with a warm smile, “How’s it going? You been good?”

Bronwen smiled and waved towards him, seeming more upbeat than usual, “Raph! It’s only been a week, but with how busy it’s been, it sure has felt like a long time. Lorenz and I have been doing well- aside from that bandit attack on one of those merchant carts in our territory. Have you been alright?”

The two chatted on for awhile Raphael trying to subtly lead Bronwen in towards the manor, but subtly was not that man’s specialty. Ignatz was desperately trying to collect the roses with the precision needed for the presentation and the speed required to hide it from her, but once he finally collected the last rose... well, his luck ran out.

“Oh, Ignatz! Are you-” Bronwen began, but paused, looking confused when she saw all the roses in his arms, “That’s... a lot of flowers. What are those for?”

“O-Oh, Your Highness! Sorry, sorry, I was... just trying not to disturb your chat!” Ignatz said with a nervous laugh, gaze trying to urge Raphael to find another distraction for her, “These? Oh, just something for the upcoming Day of Devotion! My father made a deal with Lord Lorenz, and... they’re going to sell the roses as a Day of Devotion special! It seemed mutually beneficial.”

Bronwen raised an eyebrow at Ignatz. The deception wasn’t working.

“That doesn’t sound quite like him...” Bronwen remarked, “But... you are his good friend... I guess it makes sense for him to do you a favour.”

“O-Of course! That’s exactly why.” Ignatz abruptly nodded, “Now didn’t Raph have something to show you? I’m being so rude by interrupting, ignore me. I need to get these back to my father before they wilt!”

Bronwen still looked unconvinced as Raphael started pulling her along, the conversation having done little to persuade her of anything. “...Right.”

Ignatz sighed, rushing in another direction to get the roses to Hilda and Marianne. Hopefully that operation was going better....

-------------

“....Mary?”

“Yes, Hilda?”

“This is a disaster.”

“Yes... it is. I’m sorry.”

Nothing was sitting right- not without the roses to decorate the room properly. Some spots felt too bare, others too crowded, but without that one key piece Hilda and Marianne couldn’t seem to find a way to fix everything up the right away.

“It’s not your fault, Marianne... it’s just that we should have waited for the roses first. That’s on me, I thought we could at least do something.” Hilda let out a long, deep sigh, “Lorenz isn’t going to like the look of this....”

“I’ve got the roses- W-Woah!”

A large crash rang out as Ignatz tripped over his own shoes, landing face first on the floor and spilling the roses everywhere. Marianne and Hilda rushed over to help him up, Marianne quickly gathering the flowers once Ignatz was back on his feet again.

“You okay, Ignatz?” Hilda asked, straightening out his glasses before the knight nodded.

“Yes, I’m okay... but we have a problem. Bronwen saw me with the roses and I don’t think my lie convinced her...” Ignatz said, looking down towards the floor and starting to pick up the flowers with Marianne, “Raphael tried distracting her, but she must have seen me before I could leave the garden.”

Hilda shook her head, “Damn it... that’s not great. What did you say?”

“I told her my father was selling the roses as a Day of Devotion special.” Ignatz remarked, “That Lorenz and my father set it up as a collaboration.”

Marianne gasped, nearly dropping the flowers herself, “Oh no... you didn’t know?”

Ignatz looked confused, “Know what?”

“Bronwen handles the mercantile affairs while she’s here... if that happened, she would have known about it. It helps promote trade between the Alliance and Serentir is what Lorenz said, and helps Bronwen work on her weak point... since she’d never enjoyed those kinds of things. So she handles it with Lorenz’s help.”

Ignatz felt his stomach drop. “Oh. Great.....”

Then, they heard steps approaching the room.

“Lorenz, darling? Is everything okay? I heard a crash!”

All of them froze and stared at one another.

“Goddess... it’s Bronwen!”

Scrambling for what to do, Marianne ended up running into Hilda, dropping most of the flowers and Hilda catching the rest. In the panic, they shoved Marianne out the door, begging her to keep Bronwen occupied while Marianne tried to swiftly convince Hilda to trade places with her. But it was too late, the door slamming shut and leaving Marianne to confront Bronwen herself. Marianne fiddled with her hands as Bronwen came up the stairs, concern in her eyes as she approached Marianne.

“Mari?” Bronwen asked, “Are you okay? I heard a horrible crash...”

Marianne swiftly nodded, “Y-Yes, I’m alright. I just tripped....”

“Tripped? Goodness! In those heels? That could have gotten a bad bruise- let me check and make sure you didn’t get hurt and didn’t notice yet.”

Marianne swiftly shook her head, “No, no! I’m okay, I swear-”

Then Bronwen paused. Marianne tensed, her eyes growing a bit wider when Bronwen pulled off a rose petal that had stuck on to her skirt. With how vibrant the red was, there was no way Bronwen didn’t know it was from the gardens; only roses freshly picked and ones as well taken care of as roses from the Gloucester estate would be that bright.

“Where’d this come from?” She asked. Marianne almost choked on the pressure she suddenly felt falling on her shoulders.

“T-The gardens!” Marianne squeaked, “It was the gardens... I... I was there earlier, spending time with the birds.”

“But I didn’t see you- and I’ve been out there all morning.” Bronwen commented, “Actually, I was there with Raphael having a chat just now.”

“I must have been at the other end. I think i saw you... but.. I was just spending time with the birds there.” Marianne said, “I wouldn’t have said anything.”

Bronwen still seemed suspicious, so Marianne tried smiling her way, although it still felt awkward. “I’m sorry... I would have said hello if I noticed you....”

Bronwen shook her head in reply, “Oh no- no, don’t be sorry, it’s alright Mari. I understand. Everyone’s just acting so strangely today, I can’t help but feel... I don’t know, weird. I’ll go get rid of this for you, and you get back to what you were doing. I’ll stop bothering you.”

Then, Marianne noticed Bronwen was about to enter the room behind her, and with a gasp Marianne’s hand flew over Bronwen’s. The princess gasped in surprise, looking to Marianne once again.

“Huh-?”

“I-I’ll take care of it!” Marianne insisted, taking the rose petal from Bronwen and standing between her and the door, “Y-You must be really busy... why don’t you go see Lorenz? I’m sure he misses you.”

Bronwen looked even more baffled, “But really, it’s no big deal. It’ll only be a second.”

“I insist!” Marianne interjected, adopting a look of embarrassment when she noticed how loud she’d spoken, “I... I’m sorry. Really, I want to take care of it. The Day of Devotion is tomorrow, I’m sure Lorenz wants to see you.”

Bronwen took a step back, seeming a little hurt and confused. “I... um... alright. I’ll go look for him.”

Bronwen turned around and left, Marianne sighing as she clutched the petal in her hand. She felt guilt weigh on her heart as she briefly slipped into the room, resting the single stray petal on the table before turning around and heading the opposite way- where Lorenz actually was. He should at least know what happened.

-------------

“No, Claude- no, no, no. This won’t work at all.” Lorenz sighed, running a hand through his long, silken hair in frustration, “I can’t have the surprise in there. Bronwen loves to read in that room in the evenings, she’d surely suspect that I had something planned if I didn’t allow her in that room or locked it.”

Claude let out a long sigh himself, his face resting comfortably into the palm of his hand, “Well, I don’t know her schedule. I just know the lighting in there in the evening is nice. Where doesn’t she go?”

Lorenz thought things over for a minute, looking over everything that had to be prepared. “Hm... Well, she won’t notice if the room overlooking the garden there is locked, but she would find it odd for all the curtains to be closed. This one is spacious, but is too dark to be used at that time of day.... I suppose the best compromise would be the one with the large windows, but I’m not sure how to best avoid suspicion.”

“Maybe we can have her avoid the gardens before tomorrow. I’m sure you can think of a way to keep her occupied for a few hours.” Claude remarked, going over the map, “The rest of us can set up the table and hide the gifts while you keep her attention.”

Lorenz nodded, “That’s actually a g-”

“Lorenz... I have some bad news.”

The two nobles looked towards the door, a sheepish Marianne standing within the doorway. Concern filled their gazes as they looked towards her.

“Marianne? What happened?” Claude asked, the two moving a bit closer towards her.

“I... I think i accidentally made Bronwen upset trying to hide the-”

“Marianne? I thought you were going to throw out that rose petal that got stuck to your dress?”

Everyone stopped dead as that familiar voice rang in their ears, Bronwen stepping in looking even more confused than ever before. “Claude? Lorenz? What on earth is going on here? What is everyone doing here today without telling me?”

The three looked towards one another, not sure how exactly to get out of this one. Lorenz opened his mouth to speak, as if to come up with something to save them from this mess, but that was interrupted by three sets of rushing footsteps down the hall.

“Lorenz! Lorenz! We finished the decorating, we need you to look at-!”

“Lorenz, I can’t find Bronwen, she might find the-!”

“Lorenz, I can’t find Marianne!”

And then in a crash of people into the room, Hilda, Ignatz and Raphael all tumbled into the room, tripping over each other and crashing hard on to the floor. Bronwen was frozen was she looked at them, blinking in surprise and utter disbelief before looking back towards Lorenz.

“Darling... what the fuck is going on?”

Claude looked forwards Lorenz and shrugged.

“Cat’s out of the bag, pal. I think it’s better we just tell her at this point.”

Lorenz let out possibly the most drawn out sigh Bronwen had ever heard, helping his friends out of their heap before walking to his lover. Taking her hands in his, he looked at her with a deeply apologetic look in his eyes.

“My rose... I’m so sorry.” He began, “This is all my doing. I wanted it to be a surprise, but in doing so, I seem to have upset you.”

Bronwen blinked once, wrapping her hands around Lorenz’s own, “Sweetheart...”

“I was planning a surprise for you for the Day of Devotion- originally, it was going to be set up elsewhere to avoid this kind of situation, but the merchant cart that was attacked was carrying everything I’d had ready for you. So... I called upon our friends to improvise.” Lorenz explained.

Raphael nodded, “Yeah, I was trying to distract you while Ignatz got all the roses we needed.”

“And the crashing sound was when Ignatz fell down coming to deliver them...” Marianne said, “and the rose petal was from when I fell.”

“See? Everyone was just trying to keep the secret. Unfortunately, most of us either suck at lying or you’re too hard to trick. I think it’s a bit of both.” Claude remarked, “So... sorry if your feelings got hurt. This was a last minute thing so I doubt any of us knew how to handle it.”

Bronwen was dead silent for one moment; then two, then three. Then, she let out a sigh of relief and a giggle, kissing Lorenz on the cheek before shaking her head.

“Goddess... what am I going to do with you?” She said, slowly smiling as the words washed over her, “Lorenz- you’re a moron sometimes, but I love you anyway. And all of you.... coming in to help him set up a special day... thank you. I’m truly grateful.”

They all adopted a look of surprise.

“You’re not mad?”

Bronwen burst out into a fit of giggles, “Of course not! Not after everything’s explained! I was worried you’d all started to hate me or something. If you were planning a surprise, you should have just said I couldn’t go there for now.”

The princess stood up tall, hugging Lorenz tightly before looking deep into his eyes.

“Thank you so much for thinking of me- for wanting to make tomorrow special. Don’t worry about keeping me at bay... I’ll let you plan your surprise.” She said with a warm smile, “Just let me know where I can’t go, alright?”

Then Bronwen left the room, a little skip in her step as her friends and lover were left standing there stunned.

“...That was easy.” Claude remarked, getting a death glare from Lorenz.

“Claude, be quiet.”