#-on like WHAT do i do. at this point fuck it we ball + just make sure to stay on alert for snake oil salesmen bc i know im vulnerable
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Thinking about Viktor's life story, it's really crazy.
Like I was listening to St. Chroma the other day and that song is about making a life out of nothing starting at the very bottom and making out of there yourself. But what I like about it and why I don't think it's corny like a lot of other songs like that, is that it's so fucking stubborn. Yk? It's like FUCK YOU, I can do this and I dare you to try and hold me back cuz it's not fucking happening.
You know who that sounds a lot like?
Like let's just think about this. He's a boy from the undercity, his parents are probably dead, he has a disability he probably had to deal with and make accommodations for by himself. Given what happens to most people from Zaun and how they live, the odds say he was cooked from the start. He could've been dead or in jail by then. The second someone instilled the idea in him that he could be more than that though, he took it and ran with it. He was like, alright, if I have it in me to go after anything, I'm gonna be a scientist.
So from that point on, he put in the work. Probably twice as much work as someone from Piltover would have to do if Jayce's recreation of his life was any indication. He was probably doing all of this hungry, in pain, and with a million other ailments. I think for him though, instead of doubting whether or not he could he wondered how long it would take. Would be doing this for decades? How much of his life would he spend trying to make it there? Would he live to see it all amount to something? That's why when Jayce presents his ideas and he gets ahold of his notes, Viktor immediately gets in on this. It could be a world altering discovery, it could be bullshit, he doesn't have the time to pass up the opportunity. If he wants to be anything more than an assistant, he has to be bold. He has to have the audacity.
That's really what it is at the end of the day, that's what got him where he wanted to be. The fucking audacity. I mean think about it, this guy from the undercity that people probably don't trust already is about to go behind the council's back to do some potentially life threatening experiments with the guy who blew up a building and almost killed several children. Who does he think he is?
This is why he tells Jayce "When you want to change the world, don't ask for permission", because the truth of the matter is, and this applies to real life as well, the people sitting in the chairs in the council are not going to let you manifest any dreams that don't fit their world view. You can keep fighting them about it until your face turns blue, but more than likely, they're not budging. If you're really about it, you just have to do it.
This mentality bleeds into everything he ever does. There's so many times in just the first few episodes where he's asked "are you sure about this?" and he straight up just says "lol no this could probably kill us but fuck it, we ball". He doesn't wait for anybody, not society, not safety, nothing. He's the definition of a man of progress, it's his entire life. But it's not just the world he wants to make better, it's a personal thing as well.
Every step of the way, he wants to become something greater. He started out as a regular undercity boy, then he became a student, then he worked his way up to becoming the assistant to the dean of the academy, who it may serve you to remember is the head of the council. Then, he became a real scientist, just like he wanted. That wasn't enough though, it wasn't enough to just *do* science, he had to do something with it. Keep pushing it until it could do the most good it could do. Then, he got sick. Or his sickness caught up to him at least. His time was limited. It only made him more focused on progress. How much can I do with what little time I have left? Can I extend that time? Can this magic or this shimmer make me the healthiest version of myself that there can be?
That's why it was so devastating for him to lose Sky. She was the first person to directly be harmed by the thing he created, at least the first person he saw. She lost her life in his pursuit for greatness. Say what you want about how obsessed he is with the idea of evolution and growth, but you can't say he was ready to give up the people he wanted to save in order for it to happen. At least, not yet. That's when he thought it was the end of the road, that he'd gone too far. He had to stop here. His solution to that was gonna be doing a backflip off a building, but you get the idea.
That's really why the second season isn't super surprising in retrospect. I mean we can blame the hexcore for some of it, I think it took some of his humanity but a lot of those ideas were his own. And I think he meant what he said when he said his path and Jayce's path diverged when he was brought back to life. He was supposed to die, the hexcore was supposed to be gone, this pursuit was supposed to be over. He felt like Jayce just didn't know when to stop and it was interfering with the well being of humanity. And I think he took that and his own failures to heart, prompting him to find a way to try and take that out of the equation.
Anyway r.i.p Viktor you would've loved Chromakopia
#arcane#arcane s2#viktor arcane#arcane spoilers#i love to yap#yappatron 3000#you will never shut me up about this show#chromakopia#st chroma#tyler the creator
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let's play a sleepover game and imagine what the cast, somewhat drunk, were like playing spin the bottle as a little last night fun! its on theme for the show haha. imagine them in the little hangout space basement set, sprawled on the couch, weird afterhours feeling in this former workspace.
the adults are there too, but they peel away after a few joke pecks on the cheek or lips, david kissing winona with gusto, then pretending to go in for a full-on smooch with one of the party and them squealing away.
then the teens' actors stay, but they are a bit more i'm 30 years old about it all haha, sat back on the couches. meanwhile the young cast are having a BALL
i think caleb would be game to kiss anyone, but it would be that kind of spin the bottle kiss where you want to show off youre a good kisser, but its not like you're freaking out and actually enjoying enjoying it for emotional reasons, you know? like imagine the grins as noah and caleb crawl towards each other across the bottle. they would GO FOR IT haha. noah a blushing mess sits back afterwards and playfully fans himself in a swoon while everyone laughs. caleb is smug and playing it cool. it was a nice kiss.
meanwhile if caleb and sadie kissed... its a little more meaningful between them but also nothing new, you know? it's tender, friends and costars. everyone kind of claps and cheers softly. end of an era.
millie is reluctant cos she is married. but in the end she kisses sadie, very sweet and girly sleepover style but a proper lip kiss! the boys kind of reboot a little because thats a surreal thought they've definitely had at some point in their teens even if they're not all into girls lol 🤭🤭 caleb especially clears his throat
then gaten and finn have to kiss and it takes them a lifetime because they can't stop laughing. in the end gaten is grabbing finn's shoulders like 'just kiss me, dude!' and finn is giggling covering his face with his hands, and everyone is yelling and quoting the show that kissing is better without teeth, obviously, finn! duh! and gaten rolls his eyes and shows off his lovely teeth. in the end they peck and grimace afterwards, taking a drink each haha
and of course the tension builds when its finn and noah's turn. everyone hollers despite (because?) they've spent a fair portion of this year kissing already. it still feels like a well-kept secret though, special until the show is shared w the world. they are suddenly more nervous than filming the actual show, looking at each other with suppressed smiles and soft eyes. they slowly move towards each other while the others quietly whoop and goad them on...
carry on vinny? 🤭🤭🤭
Spin the bottle??? 💋🍾 Well, I spun yall a tale under the cut, in typical lofty Vinny style. I certainly carried way on. I wanted to get simple and silly, but my muses had different ideas. Sentiment and sap, not spice. Here's something...
It was like the cameras were on them again. No heavy lights this time, where they tried not to focus on the brightness to the sides, or the sweat from Georgia heat and stress which always summoned the assistants to attack their subtle application of make-up with touch up brushes and towels yet again. Stop fussing. Let us get this over with. No, not over with. Do it finally. Ten years in the making.
They'd spent so much time together on and off set. And... something... had been brewing. Long conversations, soft words deep into the night, much later than responsible when call time was so early the next day. Well, the clock showed it was now that morning.
Curled into each other on the couch at Finn's house, or Noah's apartment, movie credits stuck on pause as they rolled into hour two of breaking down the movie they just watched.
How many times had Noah thought - what if I just kissed him now? We're already going to do it. We were always gonna do it. Well, not it. Actually, that's in the script, too. The scene in bed. All that kissing. And movement and simulation and how the fuck am I going to survive kissing Finn and pretending to have sex with Finn? All for a scene that is going to get edited and cut down and no one will see the hours I had to spend in bed with the guy I've had a crush on for years, skin to skin as we kiss and pretend.
I want so much more. What if I just kissed him now?
He didn't. They saved it for the scripted moment, not knowing it was something that was mutually even being saved, built up into something so big, so life changing on screen - and it was.
The set had been abuzz, with too many crew and staff lingering for The Moment that defined the show. Mike and Will screamed and argued and sobbed and Noah and Finn crashed together under simulated spray of water, passion in the rain, all to be enhanced in post but drenching them now. Cut. A near perfect take. A near perfect kiss. Noah felt like his heart and soul were somewhere up in space as his human form orbited elsewhere. In that moment he was Will Byers, and Will Byers had just been kissed by the love of his life and knew he'd gotten the boy. And Noah fell back into himself and on take two, he kissed Mike as Noah, and Mike kissed back as Finn. They both knew this. Take three they shook it off and let the bleed between realities settle. Take four.
The set was quiet, as empty as they could get away with for the other scene. A skeleton of people. Skin on skin and giggles and gasps - fake, and some real. Their eyes flashed and locked at the real ones, knowing which those were. Professional, of course, and decidedly mostly unsexy with the bright lights and cameras honing in on every pore and choreographed movement, but bodies were bodies, and bodies felt good together. How far did playing pretend take you and where was the line when someone's tongue was in your mouth and hand on your ass?
There were so many kisses in the end. The first kiss in the rain. The kiss that was meant to feel like goodbye when Will pulled Mike close, then ran into what was written to feel like mortal danger. The reunion kiss, when Will survived. The kiss at graduation, short and sweet, blink and you miss it. The kiss at the bar, a final act of bravery to prove that happily ever after could be found for boys like Will and Mike, having faced much stranger -
Yeah. There had been a lot of kisses.
This wasn't like any of them.
All the sudden they were facing each other again. No fake rain. No camera, though Gaten had his phone whipped out. No big, bright lights. Hot still, from the blush of blood on cheeks, flushed from drinking and proximity. Noah took another step closer with a crooked, nervous smile on his curving mouth. Finn had downed a lot of drinks, but he felt stone sober as Noah stood there facing him. Expectant. Scared out of his mind. So fucking happy.
Gaten shushed Caleb from goading a hurry up, dudes as he hit the record button, and Millie eyed the whole scene from her perch on top of the couch with suspicion. She'd seen right through them for a while. The whole year. She was quite over it. Wanted to yell at them to get it over with, having seen cuts of the footage already of the big, passionate moment that would push them into international conversation. Old news. Just kiss. Again. Sadie squeaked out a laugh and covered her mouth as Finn stepped closer and placed hands on Noah's shoulders, looking down at the source of his own personal conflict.
He'd wanted to kiss Noah every single one of those highly tense, intimate movie nights and afternoons stolen away in their trailers in between scenes. Never, quite, almost. Now.
The rest of the room wasn't paying much attention, save for David nudging Winona with giddy intrigue to look over. She winced and cooed and channeled Joyce's supportive smile, then turned back around before anything happened. One less pair of eyes.
And Finn leaned down and pressed terrified lips to Noah's waiting ones. Take number one. He thought he'd memorized the shape of them. Felt different. But it felt right.
Eyes slipped closed. The kiss was chaste. But Noah was up in space again and he was Will Byers, kissing the love his life. Who was he kidding? He and Will were as one. It had been that way for a long time, and for a long time he'd fought it. Where would he be without him? Who would he be? Noah kissed back, all too aware of the most important people in his life staring at him as they unknowingly watched him kiss the guy he'd fallen in love with.
Finn took Noah's face in his palms after the chaste kiss, one where their lips had barely moved as pulses raced. Take two. Noah pulled away to say something in response to the cheer and whoop from their friends recording them on the couch, but Finn pulled him back, sealing his mouth over Noah's a second time. It wasn't enough. Dozens and dozens of takes combined from all of the kisses on set and it wasn't enough.
Finn was a man in the desert and Noah was an oasis. Noah held the wrists of the hands cradling his face with a gentleness and he wished they were anywhere else but surrounded by their fellow drunken cast mates and phone cameras and an open room and a discarded bottle that had spun somewhere under the armchair.
On the last turn - Finn's spin after his kiss with Caleb - Millie had proclaimed that the bottle was pointing at Noah and Finn hadn't protested, but he knew it was pointing at her. Sometimes, friends do lie. And sometimes a lie is better than the truth.
The truth was - Finn did not kiss like Mike. Noah kissed like Will. Until he didn't, until it was all him. The part of lips, too involved for spin the bottle and just like that, all too real. Sadie and Caleb had been suppressing laughter, leaning on each other with hands over mouths as Gaten zoomed in, but he shut the video off when they all saw the way Finn pressed in deeper, opening to Noah who dropped his hands and pulled Finn closer by the elbows, then braced on his chest. Felt good under his hands, solid and defined and Noah missed the skin on skin feeling from the bed on set. He could feel it again, if they wanted. They could do anything they wanted to now. He wasn't afraid anymore.
And there was nothing funny about it as Gaten and Sadie and Caleb exchanged a look. Millie was already back on her phone. Old news. Boring. It was inevitable and there was nothing more for her to do.
"Noah." Spoken against a mouth that sought take five and six. Wanted to outnumber every kiss sitting in digital record on some hard drive to be scrutinized and edited and enhanced by dozens and dozens of people so millions and millions of people could see it and do the same.
They were going to be broadcast kissing into so many living rooms that it made Finn's head spin. They'd probably make it into the newspaper, some struggling magazine. Thousands of blogs. Some random person's lock screen. And one more recorded kiss that was to live alone on Gaten's video gallery.
Finn felt every pair of eyes, real and hypothetical, and wanted nothing more to kiss Noah where no one could ever play it back to him. He wanted a kiss that was his to give to one person only.
"Finn." Noah looked around, tried not to make eye contact with anyone still paying attention. "We should-"
"We should talk. Let's-"
Noah stepped away and backed out of the little set up couches and chairs and spared the group no glance. Finn was at his heels, pace brisk as they zipped through the scattered folks who were stoned or tipsy or both, thankfully disinterested in the antics of the twenty somethings playing a childish game off in the corner. They slipped through the door that stood in between the pinball machines and led down an open hall next to the main sound stage.
Rounding a corner, down another dark hall, Finn grabbed Noah's arm and pulled him towards the wall, where he fell against, bringing Noah up against himself like they'd been standing in the fake basement set.
"Can I kiss you?
"Uh, yeah? Haven't we done that enough that you know how I, I mean. You have to know-"
Finn, giddy, pulled at Noah's shirt and drew him closer, hand around Noah's neck, fingers tapping at his nape to sent a jolting shiver down his spine. Fitting.
"I know. I know. I just wanted to ask. I've never gotten to ask you."
"Have you... wanted to ask?"
"Yeah. For a long time."
Noah beamed and went to say something, but with permission already granted, Finn leaned in and kissed Noah for take number - didn't matter. He kissed him, finally, like no one was watching.
💋💋💋💋
#THERE I WROTE YALL SOME ACTUAL FOAH I CANNOT BELIEVE I WROTE THIS 🫣🫣🫣#Heehee who am I ? This is utterly ridiculous!!!!!!!#fwns#drabble#Queued
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My First @n@l
He was 8 years older. He was my friend.
He's always been some sort of a protector to me. I never looked at him differently other than a good friend. He probably didn't either..until that night.
Party was over and it was pretty late. I wasn't drunk but my dorm was very far, and we decided I stay at his place.
He laughed and said he won't be sleeping on his tiny couch so we gotta share the bed. Of course it wasn't an issue for me.
He gave me a pj top, which i wore as a dress. He looked at me and said I look very cute.
I lay down on his bed. That's when things are blurry in my head for some reason.
I remember we talked a bit.. I remember him sitting up, and telling me to sit as well.
He said "I wasn't gonna do it... I swear it wasn't on my mind until I saw how cute you looked in my pj. Now I won't be able to stop."
He kissed me. I don't know what happened next but I found myself bl0wing him.
I thought well I don't want to do this... I just want to get this over with.
Next thing I remember is him trying to remove my clothes.
I said we can't do it. He asked "Does it look like I care about anything right now? Just remove your clothes because it will happen."
He made me lay on my stomach and fucked my pu$$y. I don't remember this much. What I remember clearly is the moment I felt his d1ck pushing my ass hole.
I was confused and warned him, thinking he is aiming wrong. But he grabbed my arm with his hand, locked my legs with his legs. I couldn't move my hips left or right. Only way for me to try to move away was pushing my hips backwards but I couldn't, because it would only make his d1ck enter my hole. I was locked.
As he entered inch by inch, I screamed. Pain was unbearable.
"NO NO STOP PLEASE DON'T NO NO!!"
He still wasn't fully in. I rescued one of my arms and started to push him. It didn't have any effect. I grabbed his d1ck trying to prevent him going deeper. He stopped moving once my hand was on the way. He started to pull out slowly.
He put it in again. Because of my hand, only half of his d1ck was in. But I could swear my hole was bl€eding because it felt so warm there.
I realized screaming makes the hole even tighter so i had to stop. Now I was just making that weird, low moaning that comes from my throat. For some reason it helped a little bit.
But the relief didn't last long because he removed my hand and pushed himself all the way in. The way I screamed.. his roommates must hear something. Nobody came to check.
He was balls deep in my ass. Said "I am r@ping your ass right now. Do you realize I am r@aping your ass? Yeah you are being r@ped by me."
It felt like eternity. I felt like some of my organs were spilling out of my hole. I felt like even my stomach was getting damaged because of his d1ck.
Our voices were filling the room. My cries and begging, painful moaning, and him talking about how much he enjoys r@ping me.
When he was done, his d1ck slipped out of me with loads of cųm. At this point I was unable to move. He just laid next to me and we fell asleep.
Next morning I woke up with the feeling of his d1ck trying to enter my pu$$y. I was sleeping sideways, he was behind me. I didn't move or say anything.
He rubbed himself until my lips opened up for the entry. He fucked me for around 2 minutes and came on my thighs.
We got up and started to dress.
He said "You knew what would happen when I see you in my pj. I had to do it. You were so tiny and cute in that big shirt. Don't worry, i am not telling D (boy i was in love with) anything. We are still friends. But I warn you, don't be alone with me in my room again. I always wanted to r@pe your ass, and i will do it again."
#tw rap3#suic1de#su1cide#su1c1d4l#su1c1dal#su1c1d3#degrading k1nk#@buse kink#r@pe k!nk#r@pe kink#cnc kidnapping#abuse k1nk#cnc k!nk#bd/sm kink#r@pe m3#r@pe fantasy#s€lfh4rm#i want to d1e#@buse me#f0rced breeding#f0rced an@l#tw su1cide#r@pe threats#r@pe k1nk
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Dragon Ball Daima 01x13 - Surprise
And we're back. I think episode 12 was probably the halfway point for the series?
And holy shit. This is just gonna be non-stop bitching 'cause this is hands-down the worst episode of Dragon Ball Daima. I genuinely cannot imagine a worse episode than this existing.
This is worse than that time Gomah and Degesu spent half an episode watching Dragon Ball Z and nerding out over how much better of a show it was.
This guy's so fucking screwed. Gomah's never been a credible opponent, and now he's got both Dr. Arinsu and the Dragon Team gunning for him.
Degesu's reaction to shutting down Warp-sama is surprising. He legit acts like this is the most unthinkably vile thing anyone's ever done.
There's a bit of metaphysical whiplash going on here where it's like.
Oh shit! They're gonna, like, attack Warp-sama or kidnap Warp-sama or--
Oh, no. Warp-sama's just a machine. There's a switch in the basement they can use to turn Warp-sama on or off with at any time. It's fine.
BUT turning Warp-sama off is, like, the most heinous thing ever. Like, even for a bunch of fascists in the demon world, THIS is a bridge too far. How DARE.
Neva over here still trying to make krakens seem menacing after we already beat one's ass last episode.
It's fine. He never opens his eyes so he might not have seen that.
Yeah, crashing makes sense. Popping into Makai #2 just to grab the Dragon Ball and then skedaddling did seem a bit too easy. We already visited the former home of the Namekians. This is gonna be the former home of the Glind, then?
Yeah, but we've defeated two Tamagami. I think we'll be fine.
Bulma and Pansy nerding out about tech together is the best part of this episode. I haven't even finished the episode yet as I say this. I just know nothing's gonna top this.
^_^
The mega-hamsters are adorable and I kind of love them. XD But also they're only a threat because Vegeta's the only one actually willing to fight them.
I really hope this is going somewhere because we're halfway through the episode and this detour has, so far, been utterly inconsequential.
A "stranded in bear country" type episode generally serves the purposes of forcing a small number of characters into a tight situation where they'll have to interact with one another, building their dynamic with each other or forging one anew.
But we have the entire cast stranded in bear country and all we're doing is walking around going, "Sure is bear country around here."
Man, they really do think "what if things were very big" is in and of itself, interesting enough to carry an entire episode premise.
Over two minutes of this episode is just watching this kid sit down and have lunch while everyone goes "OH MY GOD IT EATS LUUUUUUUUUNCH!?!?!?!?"
Toei. You do not have a manga to keep pace with. You do not need to insert filler.
Just punch it really hard, Goku.
Thanks, Vegeta. You're the only character not pretending to be threatened by this stupid filler plot, and I appreciate you for that.
Sure, that might as well happen.
I mean, you're using 0.25% of your speed right now, and also you can teleport. But sure.
(sigh) Do I even need to say it?
Goku is choosing to lose this altercation.
At least Vegeta's kicking things up to a Super Saiyan form. He's not faring much better but, like, I can believe he's actually trying to win. That's what's important. It's not about the results, it's about selling the idea that this character is committed to the task that they're doing.
I dunno. Maybe you should just teleport and not be in this situation.
Maybe you should just teleport and not be in this situation.
God, we had a whole episode re-establishing Goku's ability to teleport and everything. This is literally the one and only character in the entire cast who can't be put in predicaments like this.
And now he's free-falling into a bag while screaming for his life.
This character who can both fly and teleport is trapped in free-fall and screaming for his life.
And it all culminates in a desperate last second dive to save Goku from being crushed, because he refuses to teleport out of IDK sportsmanship or whatever.
This is so boring. It's the first episode of Daima I actually had to force myself to finish because it was unwatchably bad. Absolutely nothing happened. We got lost in bear country and then proceeded to be menaced by bears because we forgot how our powers work.
This would fit right in as an episode of Dragon Ball GT. The first arc, were Trunks has to go Super Saiyan to lift some breaks and everyone keeps forgetting how to fly. That's how bad this is.
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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something he can't put into words.
#ANOTHER DAIGO POST!!!! <333#also sorry for being like teehee yaoi dojima anyway daigo can't/probably shouldn't be close to his bio dad and latched onto this random#20 year old but Doesnt Quite recognize what is so wrong about sohei and so right about kiryu and how he should feel about either#meaning he cant fulfill his true desire (baby duck around kamurocho with his babysitter who's probably got better things to do bc people#always have better things to do than take care of him but at least kiryu pretends he enjoys it#for hours and hours and hours. some of the others ask him how he is or what he's up to at school but they don't really reach him like kiryu#does. he wants to impress him soooo bad. aughhh baby daigo you're annoying but you're also so emotionally neglected#haha latching onto mentors bc they're more involved/easier to connect to than parents haha who would do that not me ahem uh anyway#(skrunks be normal about and not project onto a kiryu + child dynamic challenge: impossible)#anyway he can't just say sohei's his father bc he's a big crime daddy but he hasn't really.. accepted? whats going on with kiryu yet either#i dont think he knows kiryu's his dad is my point#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza#dojima daigo#like a dragon#daigo dojima#ykz#i accidentally saved over soo many versions of this so i had to be like fuck it we ball. thats the final version of that panel now#gonna schedule this for later today bc i dont wanna stifle the kazumi posts but i also uh. am impatient#anyway more little daigo content he's such an ass but it makes so much sense why he's like that and he deserves a whole lotta love#also i just realized i used different name orders for kiryu and yayoi... sorry idk im just incapable of writing kazuma kiryu#uhOOPS POSTED IT EARLY NVM#yer gettin a loootta skrunk content today ig#skrunkart
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Dream if you don't give me the weed paint in TWO SECONDs i'm gonna BEAT Y
- ALT - DREAM: Look, I understand you wanted it DREAM: But you really shouldn't take stuff that isn't good for you BILL: NUH UH!!! DREAM: (i'm going to fucking kill this bitch one day)
- IDK - Moving my rambles in tags, also depending on if I finish another ask today I might double post!! AWESOME!!! (the next post I wanna do might be a bit difficult cuz I wanna make it a gif BAJFBH)
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#Silly Ask#I'm almost finished with another ask and then I'll move onto another ask that made me go “holy shit I need to do that STAT!!”#Not really proud of how I drew front facing this time but WHATEVER!!!!#I struggled too hard on Dream's hands to the point where I said “fuck it we ball” and just decided to not re-drew anything and keep it as i#you're welcome... *sobs*#OMG Bill sans jumpscare!!! also AHHH sorry any recent asks I got#Also I like the idea of Dream absolutely HATING Bill#I think it's funny BAJHFBD (and also sense in ATDV Dream is a bit less positive (NM is passive but yeahh))#BY THE WAY#In case I ever stop doing daily posting just know that this blog wasn't intended for daily posting!#I just draw what I have time for (and I have a LOT of time)#But sooner or later I'm gonna have less time </3#I'm working on them RN!!! I just finished this one earlier#ask the druggieverse#atdv#dream#dream sans#bill#bill sans#undertale#undertale au#utmv#utau
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forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.
#wta tennis#atp tennis#i feel like the era of...shall we say 'federer-esque' players is waning#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand#as the sport moves more toward a necessity for fitness and athleticism players do not put as much emphasis on 'art'#which imo is fine! i think the 'art' of tennis is too protected in some ways. which i maybe will expand on later.#but i think it's too much for the tags of a (mostly) silly post#but yeah you can hear a lot of commentators touch on it#i know nadal even said something abt it recently(ish)#but i think as tennis is gradually less associated with this abstract 'image' (e.g. the obsession with federer's 'grace' and 'class')#players are coming in thinking 'this is a physical battle and i am going to win' and very much leaning into the *competition*#which not to say that they're ignoring/denying the mental aspects at all because i actually do think many players are very strategic/aware#and in truth i think many tennis players ARE actually very smart#but i also think it's less apparent because more and more players are able to just hit the shit out of the ball and call it a day#which leaves you with the occasional shot/point/game/set/match etc where it seems like they don't know what the fuck they're doing#but you think about most sports which evolve in phases#it's very normal for certain player profiles to become more or less popular as the landscape of the sport changes#or as new techniques/strategies are developed#or as new communities/populations become interested!#extreme example but think of like. high jump's fosbury flop. that was one guy!#one guy who changed the entire fucking sport! so it makes perfect sense that tennis is continuing to evolve#given how many unique players have come and gone#and how much the sport is changing externally as well as internally#anyways. this got out of hand but i love sports and i love tennis and i love my brainless players.#this whole post was inspired by rewatching sabalenka v boulter and aryna completely missed an overhead by like five feet. lol#love her <3
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eyeballing colours when im rendering is fun because it lets me try out different things with colours and see what little tiny details i can add that'll help make the piece look nicer
microdosing on colour theory, or whatever
#majora.txt#i'm just saying words at this point#also as a side thing i am very flattered people ask abt my process and stuff hsasjhfhskdj :)#but it is funny to me.. bc my process is usually me going “fuck it we ball!” repeatedly#i like experimenting and trying new things. i've been trying a new thing recently on my rendered pieces as well !!#idk if its been noticeable. but if it is what do u think
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OK I swear the reason I'm showing you this will have context in a couple days! But also, the fact B&N has a section dedicated to "well he may be a ten buuuuut" and included my current crime of "he's blonde" is like. Dang. Called out.
Didn't help I saw this with a guy and I said "oh no, my blonde enjoyer crimes called out!" and he said "better than redheads" and I'm like. "Sir, I have to inform you of my previous crime." and he was not pleased as he said "Fish... why....."
#moe talks a lot#not art#this will be much more relevant to my art in a couple days but just know#that ive had a field day staring at these and noticing unintentional bullshit#such as ! note how they are all kinda average writing size OR p big except for the tail one#which is kinda small and i feel like the person who wrote it is like this is the opposite of a '10 but -' ... thats a plus...#but then you also have all of them starting off lower case EXCEPT He's a man-child#oh absolutely gotta cater to the man-childs esteem and capitalize that one#this might be incredibly funny to me but i am not letting it be rebloggable im so sorry#also i like how he calls me fish in public bc despite having known me since 4th grade#he got in the habit during our ffxiv days during skype calls with someone in another state#so instead of using my in game name of Tuna vs my actual skype name Salmon#hes like fuck it we ball with just Fish#so i am fish to him and it carries over irl when we hang out which is rare but still#this is the same guy who was on the phone with his wife while we were wandering around and he just#watches me walk off with a very serious determination and i hear him say#hold on babe fish just walked over to a makeup store and is staring#so he walks over and asks me whats up and i point to a shelf and say dude#and he looks where im pointing and asks his wife#hey honey do you want main character energy? fish found some lipstick for that#and i hear her over the phone saying what very flatly#and he had to explain that there was a shelf advertising main character energy in sephora#his wife said no which is fair (they were also closed lol)#also the same guy i beat up on accident who lied to his football coach about why he had such fucked up shins#bc he knew his coach liked me as a very kind and quiet and obedient student#and my buddy was like i cant tell him you kicked me so much i bled...#and i just ????????????? hey what you never mentioned bleeding to me? dude? you KEPT MAKING SHORT JOKES#KNOWING ID KICK YOU IN THE SHINS? you never thought to say maybe stop that or maybe just stop picking on me#anyway yeah this guy and i have been through some weird times and most of them are my fault
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this is so out of nowhere but idc idc i have to yell abt it peach it will never stop impressing me just how well u understand characters. u literally just started writing this blue rat and u completely get him in such a way i cant help but let my jaw hit the floor every time u post ic or ooc abt him. bc ur so right !!! u get it !!!! it's honestly so fucking awesome to see i am SO excited to see u explore him more !!!! i am also extremely excited to throw all my muses at him. gnawing on the bars of my cage
JORDYN I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED
#I just think it's so funny how#i said fuck it we ball thinking im not gonna get to actually lock in#BUT THIS BLUE BASTARD WONT GET OUT OF MY HEAD !!!!#im having sm fun not complaining#he's running in my head in circles#THANK YOU SO MUCH ???#I GENUINELY HAVE NO JDEA WHAT IM DOING HERE#I do worry that I might be writing him a little too melancholic or bleak but#i think that's the whole point for ME#it's allowing him to shift.. & change .. be truly free to experience hardships in different ways even if he doesn't like the idea of#being changed by the weight of it all#but where's the fun if he doesn't grow ?#hmmmm. im rambling again send help. SAVE ME#thank u again Jordyn you're SO SWEET !!!! GIVE YOUR LITTLE GUYS TO MEEEEE#fwiends !!!!!!!! :'))))))#𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; ooc.#𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; saved.
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truly something so empowering in just saying ‘fuck it we ball’. what a life changing mentality
#i’m a whole lot braver than i used to be#like of course the fear (anxiety) is still there but i’ve gotten a whole lot better at managing working through it#and often this is just brute-forcing my way through the anxiety. and that’s by saying fuck it we ball and just doing it scared#what’s gonna happen? i’m gonna embarrass myself? WHATEVER! i’ve embarrassed myself so many times in my life#it’s a regular part of my routine at this point. this is the nature of finding your place in this world. being clumsy and stupid.#this isn’t to say that anxiety doesn’t hold me back from things still. it definitely still absolutely does#i do some ridiculous shit because of anxiety#such as. oh shit i started walking the wrond direction. well i cant just turn around in the middle of the sidewalk ill look stupid.#i’ll just do a full loop around this building to turn myself around#fucking stupid. and very real thing that i have done.#i’m also weird about not knowing where i’m going inside a building. i get scared to walk around to look for a bathroom#ESPECIALLY in restaurants. i always ask where the restroom is before looking for it if i can’t see it from my seat#but then i realize im just walking and no one cares and im so brave
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Ok also so I got my eyebrow and nose piercings back in... march, I think? I was supposed to go back in to get the bars changed out some time ago but I never did. Largely bc my eyebrow piercing has Not been healing smoothly (keep accidently banging it and getting it caught on things so it doesn't wanna heal) but I think the long bar has been actively hindering my healing (making it easier to get caught on things) so I decided to change it out Myself. Bought some new smaller jewelry online and it got here today and
I'm not generally squeamish when it comes to my own body. Like pain, blood, whatever. Don't rly care.
That, though... that took some effort.
But I did it! Smaller jewelry to hopefully make healing a little smoother from here on out. I also got some new jewelry for my nose stud that'll get here tomorrow. That one at least won't be a huge deal, since the nose piercing has healed so much more smoothly, thankfully.
(Preemptive warning for Gross Details in the tags. Lol)
#speculation nation#for the eyebrow piercing it's like....#ok this is kinda gross hfkshfks but i think i. at one point when it got caught on something#i think i like. tugged the piercing. um. smaller#?#like the area of skin that the eyebrow piercing runs thru is. smaller. bc it literally tore some of the actual pierced skin.#hurt like a BITCH i'll fuckin tell you that lmfao. ive been a lot more careful since.#but thats another thing with why i wanted a smaller thing. the prior one was fucking Massive in there. way too much#but now i have smth smaller. thinner too. which i hope will help with healing.#downsizing while healing will reduce the amount of variation in jewelry i can stick in there#but tbh i think itd just be wiser to stick to small things anyways. with the thinner patch of skin there.#i dont WANT to rip my eyebrow piercing out. which that was part of what made changing it so hard hfkshfm#these new ones r like screw on ends. but the one before was a pin i had to pull out.#and Let Me Tell You. i was so fucking scared of accidentally ripping it out when trying to pull that bitch. holy shit.#i got it without ripping anything. it still hurt and it bled a good bit but i got it.#switched out the jewelry. which eugh that part was pretty rough too. like not to be gross but rootin around in ur own skin is. somethin#hfksfhksbfmd but it's done and i dont intend to change it until it's healed more. so hopefully it will be. easier then.#i actually took out my nose piercing.. yesterday? to try to switch out with a shorter back#didnt work bc it was thicker. had to put the old one back in. which THAT was harrowing but mostly bc it was so. fucking. hard to do#but the new nose jewelry i got is supposed to come with a thing that makes it easier to put the nose jewelry on#(the hard part is trying to put a flat back base in from the inside of the nose. cant see SHIT in there 😭)#man. facial piercings really arent for the squeamish. good thing im not scared of pain but it has even me like Eughhh#couldve been mitigated has i gone back to the piercer. but oh well. fuck it we ball 💪#ummm should i tag for this lol#gross/#😂
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i've been talking abt my voltron playlists and @iveofficiallygonemad asked to hear them and i want to share with anybody who wants!! i know they're not perfect, i'm working on them & trying to make them better. if you have any recommendations for any of them, let me know!! there's like A Lot and i want to give a lil explanation for most of them, so i'm putting them under the cut ^-^
SO first i have my favorite one <3 it's just. all of them. it's the whole team. it's a mess and it's a bunch of different genres because it's them fighting over the aux cord on a road trip. it's them trying to make each other laugh or annoy each other or play something catchy enough it will infect everyone in the vicinity with brain worms.
Hunk: i'm pretty happy with my Hunk playlist! chill vibes. he strikes me as the kind of guy who listens to calm music to try to find his own calm, and that's what i got here :)
Pidge: this is messier and less cohesive than my usual playlist because frankly i think pidge would have a shit taste in music. all over the board. this is a mix of meme songs and 8-bit covers and vocaloid and stuff that i think pidge would genuinely connect with, and i think pidge listens to all their music on shuffle without any regards for genre or mood because they're a gremlin. nobody gives pidge sole control of the aux.
Coran hears 80's music for the first time and loses his mind. He thinks ABBA is humanity's single greatest achievement.
Lance: i have ideas about where I'm going with this but haven't really settled yet. Lance seems like the kind of boy that loves to dance (is that canon? i forgot) so most of these are Bops That Make You Move in some way or another. he likes to present an upbeat face to the world, so there's no angsting in this playlist! we are clinging to the things that make us happy with both hands until our knuckles turn white!
Keith: i'm gonna be honest. i made him a playlist but i honestly don't think he cares about music very much. it's very important to some people! he's just not one of them! i haven't cracked this playlist open in a while but i'm pretty sure it's full of songs that i think he would conceivably train/work out to.
Shiro: this playlist involves the dumbest headcanon i have for shiro that has just not left me alone since i first thought of it. most of the playlist reflects the fact that he had an emo phase in middle school (that one isn't a headcanon, you just have to look at him to know) but BUT there are a few songs on here that are on here because. little known fact. he also went through a Twilight phase that he told nobody about. (keith knows. keith was there.) he has the entire twilight soundtrack memorized. he moved past the story but the music stays forever. he used to daydream about slow dancing to Flightless Bird, American Mouth. the first time Coran mentions that they have to avoid a place because there's a supermassive black hole there, he has to bite his tongue in order to keep a straight face. do NOT ask me why i believe this so wholeheartedly.
Allura's playlist sucks right now. I think it's because in my heart of hearts i know that, were she on earth today, she would go fucking nuts for taylor swift. i have ambivalent feelings for taylor swift. i cannot do allura justice like this. if you see my vision and have recs as to what might actually fit her, PLEASE.
Klance: i haven't done it yet but i'm gonna go through this and sort it to be a sort of progression of their relationship, starting with the more combative Rivalry songs, then slipping into "oh shit oh shit" songs, then maybe ending on the more lighthearted purely romantic songs <3
(i have two songs in a shallura playlist which does not at all encapsulate how much i'm obsessed with them. the tiny cop inside my head is just constantly screaming at me that i'm going to get yelled at for liking shallura. i am going to kill the cop inside my head.)
#mj talks#oooooh i don't know if i actually want to put this in the show tag. that's a lot of people. that's a lot of people that might see this.#fuck it we ball#voltron#anyway. as i said if you like music and you have songs that you think fit please send em over#also who wants to talk about shallura? i want to talk about shallura.#i rewatched the first ~3 seasons (the best part of the show and some of season 3) with my roommate a while back and.#ngl if we're strictly talking about the show itself and not fanworks. i care about shallura SO much more than i care about klance.#oh i should probably tag#klance#in case anyone has that blacklisted and just doesn't wanna see it#BACK TO MY POINT.#rewatch seasons 1 and 2 and you will see there was a REASON everyone included shallura in the background of their fics#and it wasn't just shoving 'space mom' and 'space dad' together#there is a very real and very compelling dynamic there. the mutual respect. the connection that comes with taking responsibility.#watch shiro's whole deal after allura gets herself captured so that he can go free and try telling me it's all in my head. just TRY.#anyway i have a lot of complicated thoughts about shiro's sexuality and most of them boil down to I Don't Think It Was Planned#i think they shoved it in last minute because somebody higher up#(not the writers i don't blame u writers i know that you have people breathing down your necks telling you what you can and can't do)#some higherup didn't like any queer storylines that might have been in the works and pulled them from the show#but then there was fan backlash because... gay people are loud now? people wanted A Queer In Space? wild thought#so they had to save their ass and actually deliver on what they had promised in interviews/on the internet/idk i didn't keep up too much#because it was so clumsily revealed! there was no buildup!#it felt very shoehorned to me unfortunately. when a) they had already built a solid and compelling potential relationship for shiro#(see above)#and b) klance was? right there? like. dude. you /had/ to have seen that. or at least some of it????#backstory dead fiance was not the best move vis a vis queer representation and i reject him#if you want me to care about a relationship try going back to storytelling basics and Show Don't Tell :)#not giving you brownie points for that 'queer representation' :)#anyway. that's my shallura manifesto in the notes.
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I think someone put the brain of a mouse or maybe a squirrel inside my head at some point because all winter I was like “I crave nuts and seeds” and now that it’s getting warmer and brighter out my brain keeps going “it’s fruit time”
Like, modern transportation has made it possible to move many fruits all over the world (in theory) all the time! But the primal early plesiadapiform part of my brain is like “you must eat what is available this season”
#I was going to go with euarchonta or plesiadapiform brain but I think the early members of both of those groups were from a tropical#ecosystem. if I’m wrong though and either are from more seasonal environments I could change what I used#actually. wait. plesiadapis is from the late Paleocene. yes. but tropical plants have reproductive cycles too#do they generally vary by season or are they just doing it all at their own pace by species#I am from a very cold seasonal climate that gets hot af in summer but is pretty cold for a good five-ish months#not all equally cold#it’s bad for our environment if it doesn’t get cold as balls for a bit every winter#and we didn’t really get that this winter. but that’s not my point!#I mean to say I can’t remember how it works in tropical environments#if the plants just time their reproduction whenever in the year or if there are seasons for most plants at the same time#does that make sense? I’m using the primate-like-mammal. if it’s wrong then whatever#fuck it we ball#maybe I should have gone with a group further back in time but I couldn’t find climate info easily about things that far back and fuzzier#i am not the most familiar with primate evolution. especially early evolution of the group. I’m open to learning more#i just tend to fixate on certain other things like early mammals and horse and cat evolution#paleontology#emma posts#I like juice all year though#one day I want to try many varieties of fruits that I cannot access easily where I live because they can’t be shipped here#or they just aren’t as popular a variety on an industrial scale#maybe one day i will have a big greenhouse and i will be able to grow the banana varieties I want to try#I can see why some plant varieties aren’t grown on a large scale. some of these bitches are SUPPOSED to be able to grow in zone four but#they refuse to work with me! blueberries make sense. the soil here is nowhere near acidic enough and they would need to be in a pot or#whatever. ya know? but some plants just won’t! or I get them and then the weather here which would NORMALLY work is different that season
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i dont get how daigo could be bitchy and moody while wearing a puffer like . my brother in christ do you even know how silly you look rn trying to be emo in a puffer
#snap chats#looked at myself for too long and was about to have my Daily Required Evil Monologue but i just look too goofy with this thing on LMAO#its cold as hell. all the time. if i draw daigo in his puffer at some point this will be why#but yeah bro i cant sulk when i look like the michelin man like cmon#thats how i know daigo aint been around a mirror in Ever......#ough i wanna play gaiden now wait. coliseum calls to me......#i should eat tho UGH i dont know what to eat tho.#my heart always tells me to go with the pork floss onigiri but i already had one today#technically i eat two a day so i colud make another one but it'd feel weird only eating One..#but then i'd have had three rice balls and i dont like the number three... do we see my overly-convoluted dilemma...#ill prob cave and make two anyway. if im so tbh.#Come What May tomorrow my kirby onigiri case is coming in :) oh yeah i bought one of those. after being influenced. by bestie </3#OK BYE what the fuck am i gonna do oho my god i wanted to draw but now coliseum but now food bu
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