#-just upset that he wasn’t understanding him when he said his mood affects him. which

[5hrignold]

i really want a scene where pim is angry at someone him and charlie are talking to and charlie keeps looking between the person and pim who is just staring at them with the most enraged expression you can imagine and his face grows more grotesque and contorted and less human looking and he’s like shaking and digging a hole in the ground with how hard his feet are digging into the ground but everytime charlie looks back at him he goes completely back to normal smiling and nodding but the second charlie looks away he starts all over again

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Week 4 (Jive Part 2)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 16.6k

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not from Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

Chapter Quote: I’m so fucked.

Kat's POV On my drive home from the diner, my thoughts were only of Dieter. His mood had been all over the place this week. I really had been concerned about him slipping up and felt more relief than I probably should have when he mentioned his therapy appointment. At least he seemed to be handling things the right way. I couldn’t figure out what suddenly had made him so upset, but I felt like it had something to do with me. He had been more distant since the show on Monday, and I didn’t understand why. 

When Dieter came into the dance studio on Wednesday, I could tell that Alec’s presence was affecting him. Having both men in the same space with no one else around made me nervous. It was obvious that Dieter didn’t care for Alec and vice versa. The tension between the two of them was so thick, I was concerned about another confrontation. Luckily, Alec didn’t stick around long. 

However, the tension was still there even after Alec left. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to ask Dieter what was going on. I figured it had something to do with me giving Alec another chance. I knew how Dieter felt about the way Alec treated me, but for a brief moment, I couldn’t help wondering if there was more to it - if maybe he was feeling something for me too. Something more than concern for a friend’s safety. 

It pissed me off when he said he was disappointed in my choice, even though he had every right to be. It was hard to hear because I knew he wasn’t wrong. It was a bad decision, and I could already feel the regret setting in. The burst of anger did fuel me to ask what I really wanted to know, if there was another reason he was so upset about it. I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t answer it honestly, but he did falter. I briefly considered his response, something about it causing butterflies to form in my stomach. My gut was telling me there was something else, but the logical part of my brain didn’t believe it.  

His pleas that followed to not let it get bad and the burning look in his eyes caused a shift in the tension. I couldn’t fight the urge to touch him, my hand involuntarily reaching for his cheek. He surprised me by leaning into it before taking my hand in both of his. The moment turned oddly intimate, and I wanted nothing more than to tell him how I was feeling, but I knew I couldn’t. It was wrong to be feeling those things for him. I knew that I needed to keep it professional, for all our sake. 

Dieter seemed to return to his normal self after that, which had me questioning things all over again. Surely that wasn’t all that had been bothering him? I worked to brush that thought aside. I was just happy to have him back. Given that the day had ended so well, I wasn’t ready to be away from him. I had missed his light and wanted it to shine on me just a little bit longer. So, I asked him to try the Greek diner with me, which turned out to be a terrible idea. 

The last two hours had sent my thoughts and feelings into a tailspin. Dieter seemed to be opening up to me more and more each time we were together. Tonight felt…different. Not unlike how it felt when I had dinner at his place. He was attentive and maybe even a little flirty. The way he kept looking at me was causing my thighs to clench together under the table. I wasn’t sure if it was just a physical attraction or more. He definitely had me reevaluating things during my whole drive home.

It was already getting late by the time I pulled into the garage. I hadn’t heard from Alec at all, even though he said he was planning to come over for the night so we could go out for breakfast before our rehearsals started the next morning. I was both annoyed that he hadn’t at least texted me and relieved that I might not have to deal with him. I was settling into bed, planning to go down a social media rabbit hole on the Dieterina hashtag when I heard the front door open. I sighed, set my phone on the docking station to charge, then laid down to go to sleep. 

I could hear Alec moving around to get ready for bed, eventually settling in at my back and pulling me against his body to kiss my cheek. He smelled of cigarettes and something else I couldn’t figure out. Something floral maybe? It wasn’t normal and it made my stomach turn. When I only acknowledged him and didn’t escalate things, he sighed heavily then turned away and quickly fell asleep. 

My mind began racing. Was that perfume or something he had eaten or drank? I couldn’t tell and it was sending me into a spiral. I hated having to worry about this. I shouldn’t have to. And did I really have a right to? I wasn’t behaving much better than him today, and the thoughts I had been having were a whole other thing. 

And so what if it was perfume? He had been rehearsing with Lana half the day. It could just as easily be from that. Surely that’s all it was, if anything. Right? I was trying my best to be rational about this and give him the benefit of the doubt, but it was hard. Would I ever stop thinking like this when it came to him? 

It took forever for me to finally fall asleep, but I had managed to calm my thoughts by then. Not that it was a restful sleep. I spent most of the night tossing and turning, plagued by weird dreams that I couldn’t remember after waking. They only left me with a sense of foreboding that I couldn’t seem to shake. 

The following morning, I was in the bathroom getting ready when Alec came in. He hugged me from behind, burying his face into my neck and sighing dramatically. 

“Baby, I’m gonna have to skip out on breakfast. Marc just texted me and asked if we could switch rehearsal times. Something about a sick kid…So, we’re gonna head in earlier than planned.” 

He raised his head, giving me his best sad puppy face in the mirror as he rested his chin on my shoulder. 

I let out a controlled breath, sticking the mascara wand back into the container. No sense in getting ready now. “That’s ok…it’s understandable. It was nice of you to do that for him.”

“Yeah, so I guess imma head out. Maybe we can grab dinner later?”

I nodded, turning to kiss him goodbye. Only, he didn’t kiss me on the lips, he kissed me on the forehead and walked off without a second glance or another word. Something about that didn’t sit right. It stunned me actually. 

After I heard the front door shut, I moved to peek out through the curtains. Alec already had his phone to his ear with a smile on his face as he got into the driver's seat. Something about this felt off. 

I took a deep breath, moving to get my phone from the nightstand. Alec wasn’t a huge fan of Marc, often calling him a stuck up prick because he wouldn’t go out partying with the rest of the guys at all hours of the night. Marc was married and had young kids, so of course he didn’t do that. It was hard for me to believe that Alec would do anything to help Marc out given his feelings about him. Alec wasn’t typically very accommodating to people he didn’t care for. I was also fairly certain Marc usually had evening rehearsals, so he could be home with the kids while his wife was working. 

I pulled up Marc’s contact information and hit the call button. I worked to steady my breathing as the phone rang. Part of me hoped he didn’t answer out of fear from what I would learn. He did answer though. 

“Hey Kat, what’s up?” 

“Hey Marc, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to double check, did you by chance change your studio time for today?” 

“Nope, it should still be our usual evening time slot. Why?”

His answer knocked the air out of my lungs. I knew Alec was lying. I somehow managed to compose myself and quickly think up an explanation. 

“Not a huge deal, they had us double booked, but I think I’ve figured out a solution. I just wanted to check first before calling Dieter with the change.”

“Oh damn, that’s annoying. Do I need to do anything?”

“Na, I’ve got it sorted. You guys should be good.”

“Awesome. Thanks for catching that or we might’ve been sharing.” 

“No problem. I may see you around later. Enjoy your morning.”

“You too. Thanks again! Bye.”

I wasn’t sure what to do with this information. It didn’t necessarily mean he was cheating, but why else would he need to lie like that? I puffed air out of my cheeks, deciding to throw on my gym clothes and go to his place to see if he was there. 

A short time later, I found myself pulling into a parking spot at Alec’s apartment complex. I noticed his car was in its usual assigned space, so I decided to go in. As I was unbuckling my seatbelt, I spotted Lana walking up the steps leading to his second floor landing. I froze, watching as she knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Alec was there, pulling her tightly against him and kissing her with a lot more enthusiasm than he had with me lately. 

It hurt to see it, but I needed to. With the previous incidents, Alec swore he was never physical with those women. I didn’t believe him, but I also had no proof either. This time, there was no denying it. They definitely had something going on and clearly had for some time. 

The oddest mix of emotions was swirling inside of me. There was relief of course, but there was also hurt and anger. I had given up so much for this asshole and this was how he continued to repay me. After letting anger win the battle as the dominant emotion, I sat trying to reason with myself on the best way to handle this. I wanted to confront him, but I was also worried about his reaction. Would he get violent? 

I hesitated, but eventually stepped out of the car and began walking toward his apartment. When I reached the 2nd floor landing, I realized his door was still slightly ajar. The dumbass didn’t even get it shut all the way. As I got closer, I could hear them, on the sofa I assumed, already fucking. I felt sick from the sounds. It was made worse by the words that were coming out of Alec’s mouth; She’s the only one he needs, the only one who means anything to him, the only one he wants…it went on and on. I couldn’t listen anymore, reaching to push the door open with force, causing it to slam into the wall. 

Alec was seated on the couch with Lana straddling his lap, now trying to cover herself with her hands at the sound of the door. I got an eye full as his unprotected dick slipped out of her when she turned to look in my direction. 

I was seething. He couldn’t even wrap it up. He wasn’t even worried about bringing something home to me. Looks like my concerns were valid. 

“Kat…w-what the fuck are you doing?” Alec sputtered, shocked by my sudden appearance. 

I took a steadying breath, determined not to cry in front of him. “I just wanted you to know that I heard it with my own ears and I’m seeing it with my own eyes. There’s no sweet talking your way out of it this time you fucking asshole.”

“Baby, come on. Let’s talk about this…” 

He moved to get up, but Lana pushed him back against the sofa, refusing to get off his lap. Then she turned back to me, a sly smile on her lips. 

“What are you smiling about? He’s your fucking problem now.” 

I turned to leave, overhearing Lana telling Alec not to go after me as I moved toward the stairs. I had to applaud her, at least she seemed to have some authority over him. For now, anyway. In time, he would probably break her down too. 

In an odd way, I felt like that confrontation had taken some of his power away from him. He couldn’t lie his way out of it. There was no way he could twist this in his favor and save face. He wasn’t going to control me anymore. He couldn’t. My chains were broken, and I wasn’t going back. 

After sitting in my car for several minutes, the adrenaline rush was beginning to wear off, and now the hurt was setting in. The things he had said to Lana told me how little he actually cared about me. Why did he fight so hard to keep me around if he didn’t want to be with me? Or had he just been telling her what she wanted to hear? He was good at that tactic. 

I was left feeling like I had wasted the last six years of my life, for nothing. I was suddenly full of grief over everything that I had given up for Alec, and regret for the way I had allowed him to treat me. It was a relief to be done with him, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. I loved him once after all. We had been happy in the beginning and at one time I believed we could find our way back to that. The tears were coming now. I needed to get away from his apartment. 

I backed out of the parking spot and headed home. Once locked inside, I let the tears fall as I crawled into bed and sobbed into a pillow. An hour had passed when I finally checked the time. Realizing that I needed to pull it together and get ready for rehearsals. We were filming today, and I refused to do it looking like an emotional mess. 

After dragging myself out of bed, I moved to the bathroom to examine the damage. My eyes were red and swollen. I applied a warm compress, hoping it would take some of the swelling out. It helped some, but not enough. After washing my face, I worked to put a little more makeup on than I would normally wear in hopes it would make it less noticeable. It seemed to help some. 

I had to rush to make it to the dance studio in time. The camera crew was already there setting up and coming at me with a mic pack as soon as I walked through the door. I did my best to act normal, but from the way Dieter was eyeing me, I could tell he knew something was off. I knew he wouldn’t ask with hot mics on us, so that gave me some reprieve. 

My mood improved as we began to rehearse. Dieter of course found ways to make me smile, like he always did. Things seemed almost normal by the time the camera crew left for the day, leaving us alone for the last two hours of rehearsal time. Dieter did ask if everything was ok since I seemed flustered and was a few minutes late. I lied and said Alec and I had gone out for breakfast, and I had gotten held up by a traffic accident on the way here. I didn’t think he bought it, but he didn’t question me on the topic any further. I hated lying to him, but I wasn’t ready to share what happened. I needed time to process and deal with it on my own first, otherwise I was going to break down into a crying heap if I tried to explain it now. 

Our last bit of studio time went on as normal, allowing me to forget about the whole Alec thing for a bit. Once our time was up, we gathered our things as Dieter shared the latest Zee antics with me. Mentioning that he was heading to the pet store as we walked to our cars to leave. He lingered for a moment after saying goodbye, like another question was on the tip of his tongue, but he never asked it. Instead, he smiled and gave me a quiet, “See ya tomorrow” as he got into his car. 

I was considering my next steps as I left the dance studio. I knew that I probably needed to get checked out since I had no idea what Alec had been up to. I was certain he used a condom every time we were together since I had first found out about his infidelity, but I realized that wasn’t fool proof, and he was a fucking idiot. I also realized that it didn't protect me from all STDs. There were other ways of catching things. 

I was silently cursing Alec as I pulled into the parking lot of one of the local walk-in clinics. It looked fairly empty, which was a positive. I sat there for a moment, trying to prepare myself for what I was about to do. I would have to explain my situation, which meant I would have to finally say it out loud. I just hoped I could keep it together. The fact that I was having to do this made me hate him more than I had ever hated anyone. 

Luckily, they got me in quickly. I gave a urine sample, had an exam, then had blood drawn, and was swabbed in all the places to be tested for every STD possible. I was stoic through the whole process. It was the only way to keep from falling apart on the poor medical staff. I was told it would take 5-10 days to get the results, which seemed like an eternity when dealing with stuff like this. It made me feel dirty and used. I shouldn’t have had to do it, yet here I was. I should have listened to my gut instinct a long time ago. It would have saved me a lot of stress and grief. 

With that out of the way, I finally made my way home. I decided to soak in the tub for a bit to try and relax. I was feeling a little achy, probably because I hadn’t really been taking care of myself this week since Alec had been around. I needed to do better so that it didn’t become an issue. We still had a lot of weeks left to get through.

As I sat in the tub, I started browsing Instagram. Eventually finding myself on Dieter’s page. I had given it a quick scroll when I first followed him but hadn’t looked since. I noticed he had added “Cat Daddy” to his bio which made me snicker. Then, I scrolled all the way back to the beginning. He didn’t have much posted. Based on one of his earlier posts he had removed a lot before he went to rehab. I assumed it was the less than flattering stuff from his party days. 

There had obviously been a shift in him. I could tell just from the few posts from before rehab that were still available. Most of his newer content focused on Zee, plants, and painting, which I loved to see. There were a couple of the same shots provided to us from the show that I had shared, but nothing else.

I caught myself going on a liking spree. I had to force myself to stop before I ended up liking all of his posts. As I scrolled back toward the top, one picture caught my eye. It was a shot from his “sanctuary”, the corner with the leather seats and guitars where we played together the previous week. He posted it the day after I had been there, with the hashtag #MyFavoritePlace. I couldn’t help but wonder if his post was related to my visit. I shook that question from my head. What a ridiculous thought, Kat. 

I was then drawn to a picture of his hands covered in dirt as they potted a plant. He really did have nice hands. They were large with long, thick fingers. The small bullseye tattoo only added to their appeal. My mind momentarily wandered to thoughts of those hands on my body but dismissed them. I can’t go there. If I do, there’s no coming back. I moved on to the next post. I was chuckling at Dieter’s Croc covered feet when notifications started to pop up. 

“bangingbravo1 liked your photo.”

They came in one after another. My liking spree must have prompted him to do the same. The only difference, he did like all of my posts, except for the ones that had Alec in them. OK, Bravo. You made your point. Publicly. He was so unapologetically himself and was not afraid to make his opinions known. I honestly loved that about him, but damn if that wasn’t going to cause some gossip if anyone noticed. 

I hit the little notification bell at the top and turned all notifications on for him without a second thought. I smiled to myself, hitting the ‘message’ button. 

ME: I feel like I’m being Instagram stalked right now…

He didn't keep me waiting long for a reply.

DIETER: I’m pretty sure you were stalking me first, sweetheart. 😉

My smile widened, he was trying to push my buttons. Truth be told, I kind of liked it when he did that. 

ME: I told you not to call me that, Bravo.

DIETER: My apologies…Kit Kat.

I rolled my eyes. He was never going to let that nickname go. 

ME: What are you up to this evening, besides liking all my posts?

DIETER: I was painting until my phone started blowing up with Instagram notifications.

ME: Oh yeah? What are you working on?

DIETER: Something new…it’s a secret.

My brow furrowed. What a weird response. He’s usually very open and excited to talk about his hobbies. 

ME: Oh come on, not even a hint?

A picture came through. It was obviously a close up shot of part of a painting. It just looked like swirls of purples, magenta, and black with oranges and yellows at the edge. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I was intrigued.

ME: Those are new colors for you. I like them.

DIETER: Well, I have new inspiration...

Why was he being so cryptic? It was causing butterflies in my stomach again.

ME: And that inspiration is…what?

DIETER: My 🐈, of course.

Why didn’t he just say Zee? Unless he thought he was being slick with double meanings? Surely not. I held my breath as I typed my reply, then hit send without reading it. 

ME: Your feline or your human 🐈?

He started typing, then stopped. It took him a good thirty seconds before he started again. 

DIETER: I’m afraid you’ve hit your question and answer quota for today. My turn. What are you up to this evening?

I snorted, this was about to take a turn. Did I want to go there? I decided to keep it PG, not wanting to make it weird. 

ME: Just trying to relax my aching bones.

DIETER: And how does my human 🐈 do that? No hints? 😏

My thighs clenched together. He did not just fucking say that. I wasn’t sure how to respond. Were we flirting? I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought through my options. Another message popped up.

DIETER: I’m sorry. That might have been a little inappropriate to say.

He was one hundred percent flirting and now worried he overstepped. Alright Bravo, if you’re gonna go there…then I am too. 

ME: If I give you an inappropriate hint, will you answer my question?

DIETER: That depends on how inappropriate your hint is…

I chewed my lip again, thinking. I muttered a quiet “Fuck it” as I propped my bubble covered legs up on the side of the tub and snapped a picture. It’s not like he hadn’t seen more than that from my costumes. Then again, this implied I was currently naked and wet. 

I decided not to send it through Instagram, instead pulling up his contact info and sending it as a text. I felt nauseous afterward, worried I was misreading things. He was taking entirely too long to respond. The bubbles finally started bouncing, indicating he was typing.

DIETER: I feel cheated. Your toes are cropped out. Your answer is a no go.

I snorted. He obviously didn’t have a problem with it.

ME: Please tell me you don’t have a thing for feet. That’s just gross.

DIETER: I’ll take what I can get. I’m not picky. Besides, you probably wouldn’t say that after one of my foot massages.

My thighs clenched again. Fuck. Why is that doing things to me? Probably because it implies he’s good with his hands…his very large hands.

ME: Are you offering?

DIETER: All you have to do is ask, honey. I’ll do anything I can to help you feel better. 😉

Fuuuuck. I can't deal with him. He was sending my mind spiraling straight into the gutter. For a brief moment, I wondered if my vibrator was charged before scolding myself for going there. I was so fucking ridiculous. How did I go from being distraught over my ex cheating on me to this? I needed to chill and get my life figured out before I ruined mine and Dieter’s friendship. 

ME: Well, I hate to cut this conversation short, but my water is getting cold. I’ll see you in the morning?

DIETER: Of course. And for the record, I do have a hydrotherapy tub that doesn’t get cold. You can use it anytime.

DIETER: I swear I’m not trying to be weird with that. I know it helps with arthritis pain. 😂

I laughed, almost tempted to ask if it would fit two people but refrained. I knew he was only trying to be helpful. 

ME: That’s good to know. 😂. Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.

DIETER: I will do as I’m told. Goodnight Kit Kat.

ME: Goodnight.

I got ready for bed after that. My mind was now jumping all over the place. I realized that I hadn’t heard from Alec since leaving his apartment, which was unusual for him. Normally he would be blowing up my phone with calls and texts. Maybe he knew it was over this time and wasn’t even going to bother to try to fix it. I could only hope that was the case because I didn’t want to deal with him. 

Then my thoughts went back to Dieter. I was so confused about my feelings for him. I wanted him physically, yes. That much was obvious. What I didn’t know was what I wanted beyond that. I wasn’t sure if I could trust what I was feeling. How much of it was real and how much of it was a result of our situation? We were both in a perfect storm of emotions, looking for happiness and somehow finding it in each other through dancing. 

It’s not unusual for dance partners to fall for each other because the physical closeness and intimacy involved does cause the release of oxytocin in the brain. That fact is common knowledge among dancers, and it fuels the long debate about if the dance connection between partners is real or if it’s just a temporary psychological effect from hormones. Is that what was happening here? Would the intense feelings for him fade once the show was over? It was certainly something to consider. 

Granted, I’ve had a lot of dance partners in my life and never felt like this before. It was similar with Alec, but nowhere near as intense and those feelings with him waned over time. However, I could attribute that to his shitty personality and the way he treated me. We still danced together, so in the end that didn’t save us either. 

By the time I finally started to fall asleep, I was more confused and conflicted than ever. I decided that I would just go with it and see what happened. It was really the only thing I could do. It wasn’t like Dieter had expressed interest in anything more anyway. He was in recovery after all and did say he was taking a break from dating as part of that process. So, I was probably getting myself worked up over nothing. 

The next morning, I awoke feeling surprisingly lighter and more relaxed. The prospect of being done with Alec for good seemed to remove a lot of pent up stress and anxiety. Plus, Friday rehearsals typically went pretty easy for us since we had our routine down. It was just about fine tuning with the music now, allowing us to have a little more fun with it. 

When I got to the dance studio, Dieter hadn’t arrived yet. I wasted a few minutes getting the music ready and stretching. Then I checked the time, realizing he was a few minutes late. I was suddenly worried that something might be wrong, he was usually a few minutes early if not right on time. I was reaching for my phone to send him a quick text when he walked through the door with his cell phone to his ear. He looked a little wild-eyed as he said his goodbyes to end the call, but also seemed to be fighting a smile.

Once he was finished, he dropped his bag onto the floor and gave me a cheesy grin. 

I gave him a confused look, “What’s going on?” 

He put one hand on his hip, the other was rubbing his chin. “Well, I got invited to do SNL. I didn’t think that would ever happen again.”

I gave him a toothy smile, “Dieter, that’s awesome. I’m excited for you!”

He held up his pointer finger and grimaced, “Slight problem though…” He paused. 

I raised my brows, waiting for him to continue. 

“It’s for next week. That Gosling dude dropped out at the last minute, and they don’t have a lot of options.”

My face fell, “How’s that supposed to work?”

He laughed nervously, “Well, how do you feel about going to New York with me for the week…so we can still rehearse?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I can’t do that. “Dieter, I don’t know if the producers will allow that.”

He was smirking now, “Actually, Lenny, my manager, talked to them this morning and they’re willing to make it work if you’re willing to go with. We would just have to film some things ourselves and there was something mentioned about promo stuff but I dunno what all that entails.”   

Fuck. He was really excited about this. I could tell from the look on his face. I knew this was a big deal for him and for his career. I really didn’t want to be the one thing to hold him back, but I needed to think about it - consider how it could affect things between us. 

“When do you have to let them know something by?” I asked.

“By tomorrow morning, but preferably as soon as possible.”

I nodded. “OK, let me think about it and figure out what exactly that means for us, work wise, if we go. I’d like to know those details first.”

He was nodding along now, “That makes sense. I know it’s short notice and a lot of extra stuff you were not planning on doing, so if you don’t want to, that’s OK. I swear. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I think we can make it work though…and I think it would be fun for us.”

I chuckled, “What I’m not fun enough for you already?” 

His eyes bulged, “No! That’s not what I meant. You know what I mean…and…I did also wanna ask if you’d be willing to do a skit with me.”

I snorted, “What? Like a SNL skit?!?!”

He nodded, “Yes. I have an idea for one.”

I shook my head, “Dieter, I’m not an actor. I can’t…do that.”

He rolled his eyes, “Sure you can. It could be one of the pre-recorded skits, so you don’t have to worry about the live part. I can coach you through it.” 

I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. He seemed like he really wanted to do this, “What’s the idea?” 

He snickered, “Well…you remember when you said ‘Nobody puts Bravo in the corner’?”

I wasn’t following, “Yeeesss…”

“Well, I think it would be fun to do a Dirty Dancing parody, with the roles reversed.” 

I snorted, “You’re so fucking ridiculous.” 

He burst into laughter, “I know, that’s what makes it funny! It’ll be gold! Come on!” 

I sighed, “Let me think about it. I’ll let you know something in the morning, ok? It’s not a no…yet.”

He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child, “Ooook, fine. I’ll wait for you to think about it.” 

I rolled my eyes at him, then poked him in the chest, “Don’t be bugging me about it either, or I’ll say no.” 

He smirked, “OK. OK. Got it. Let’s rehearse then. I’m ready to get my Jive on today.” 

Dieter did his best Elvis hip wiggle on that last line, curling his lip upward as he spoke. It sent me into a fit of laughter that I struggled to come back from. This set the tone for the rest of the day. He seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood, even for him. The jokes kept coming one after another and he was acting a complete fool the entire time. I’m not sure we ever stopped laughing. He didn’t take himself seriously and I loved that about him. Alec had been the complete opposite, an uptight asshole, which often kept me on edge. It was a nice change, one that I wouldn’t mind being permanent.   

I was actually a little sad once rehearsals were over. We had a good day, and I wasn’t ready for it to end, but I needed to go home and figure out what to do about New York. After we said our goodbyes, I sent a quick text to Stacia and Joe. I needed to know what they were thinking because it sounded like they had a plan. As I was pulling into my garage, my cell rang. It was Joe asking if I could come in for a quick meeting the following morning. I agreed, which was essentially the end of the conversation. 

I had a million questions and did not understand how this was going to work. What about group rehearsals? Or the weekly behind the scenes filming? And what promo stuff would we be doing? Most of all, how the hell would we fit all this in around Dieter’s SNL schedule? It seemed like a lot, but I would be doing it with Dieter. Something told me that if I did go, things would not be the same when we got back. I just didn’t know if that was good or bad. 

The following morning, I had to get up extra early so I could go to Television City Studios to meet with Stacia and Joe. I thought it odd that they didn’t ask to meet with both Dieter and I together, so it automatically had me on edge. The fact that they had agreed to this told me that it was playing into whatever story they were trying to manufacture. So, I knew I had to watch myself. 

Surprisingly, I didn’t have to wait. I was taken back to the conference room straight away where I found Stacia and Joe in unusually bubbly moods. They were chomping at the bit to follow through with whatever they had planned for us. 

Once I was seated, I noticed Stacia looking at me oddly. I couldn’t figure out what it was about. She eventually realized I had noticed her staring, which prompted her to get things started.

“Kat, how are you doing? Everything still going OK with Dieter?”

My brow furrowed slightly, “Yeah, everything with Dieter is great. He’s doing well.” 

She nodded, “Good. That’s what we like to hear. So, I guess he told you about New York then based on your call?”

I nodded, “He did. I was surprised to hear that you guys approved it. I’m curious to hear your plans because I don’t understand how we can possibly pull this off. It’s a lot.” 

Joe smiled, “Actually, I think we can work it out pretty easily. We’re thinking you could take a break from group performances next week. In lieu of that, we can book you on a couple of morning shows. That would meet part of your contract obligations so that some of that stuff is out of the way.”

I took a minute to think about that, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. It would keep me away from Alec for the week too. 

“OK, and what about the behind the scenes filming? Will a crew be coming with us?”

Stacia laughed, “Na, I really don’t think that’s necessary. Dieter can handle some of the filming if we provide the equipment. We also ask that you two ramp up your social media posting a little bit more…maybe even come up with a hashtag or something.” 

They are being way too cool about this. What’s the catch? 

“Where will we rehearse?”

Stacia was still smiling as she continued to stare at me in that odd way, “We’ll book you a space in the hotel. You can rehearse as you have time. It obviously won’t be as structured as it is now, but we think you can work it out.”

How had they figured all of this shit out so quickly? What made them think I would even agree to go?

I pursed my lips in thought. “And our Tuesday morning pre-production meeting?”

“You won’t have to worry about that. We can go over everything now.” 

My brows knitted together, “Without Dieter?” 

Joe smiled politely, “We trust that you can pass the info along to him with no problem.” 

I narrowed my eyes at them, “Why didn’t you meet with both of us together about this?”

Stacia leaned forward, placing her hand on the table in a gesture that was meant to be comforting. “We wanted to run it by you without his influence. I didn’t want you to feel pressured by his presence. His manager made it pretty clear that he really wants to do this.”

I scoffed, “I appreciate the thought, but Dieter would never pressure me into anything. So that wasn’t necessary. I would appreciate it if we could keep our meetings together.” 

Stacia’s lips set into a tight line, “My mistake. Perhaps I should have asked first. Anyway, as far as the plans for next week, we have you doing the Rumba to Thinking Out Loud.” 

The fucking Rumba. Perfect. It was obvious she was fighting a smirk now as she dug around in her binder, and I knew why. The Rumba was one of the most intimate and sensual performances in ballroom dance. It was obvious they were doing everything they could to milk this situation. 

Stacia pulled some papers out, sketches for our costumes. “Luckily, we already had these ready to go. Dieter’s is pretty simple and shouldn’t be an issue. Stop by wardrobe before your spray tans tomorrow evening and they’ll have something similar ready for you to try on. They’ll rework parts of it to make it more like this. We wanna make sure your costumes are ahead of schedule just in case you have travel delays or anything like that.”

I sat staring at them wide-eyed, “Why are you telling me all this? I haven’t agreed.” 

Joe laughed nervously, “Well it’ll be the same details even if you don’t go. Just don’t tell the others you got your dance and song early or they’ll consider it an unfair advantage.”

No shit. This is so fucking bizarre. 

Stacia leaned forward on her elbows, “So, Kat…What are ya thinking? Is it manageable enough for you? Anything else we can do to make this easy on you?” 

What the actual fuck? The crease between my brows deepened. 

“No…I think I’m good. I’ll let you guys know what I decide. Anything else?”

Stacia leaned back in her seat, eyeing me in that weird way she had been since I arrived. “How’s Alec doing?”

I could feel my hackles rise. Why the fuck does she keep doing this? I glared at her for a moment before composing myself, somehow managing a small smile, “Alec is doing just fine...” With his fucking tramp. “If that’s all, I need to get going. I don’t wanna keep Dieter waiting for rehearsals.”

They both smiled, “Of course. We don’t wanna cut into your time, obviously.” Stacia added. 

I got out of there as quickly as I could. I was feeling frustrated and angry. It was obvious what they were up to, again pushing us together for their narrative. However, what frustrated me most was that I knew it might actually cause something to happen between us…or at least I wanted it to. This couldn’t have been set up any better for them.

On the drive to the dance studio, I considered my options. The most attractive thing about going was being away from Alec for a week and not having to dance with him. Fuck. I still have to dance with him on Monday. That was going to go over well. Maybe Emily will swap me with one of the other dancers. That’s going to be a big red flag to the entire cast, and they’ll instantly know something is up, but I guess it’s inevitable. They’re going to know eventually anyway. I was also going to have to face Alec at some point. I needed to prepare myself for that. 

I did need to consider Dieter in this. It was a big deal for him, I could tell. I didn’t want to be the only thing keeping him from doing something that could have a major impact on his career. I was also wondering what it would be like to spend the week with him, away from all this. It would allow us to get to know each other a little better, outside of the studio. It would also give me a chance to see him at work, which I was strangely curious about too. 

I pulled into a parking spot with a few minutes to spare. I sat there going through the pros and cons. There were only two cons that I could think of. One, which was honestly also a pro, something might happen between us. Two, if something did happen, it could ruin our friendship. Was the risk worth it? If Dieter is as amazing as I feel like he is and he wants to be with me, then yes. I think it might be worth it. 

I took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly to calm my nerves. “I can’t believe I’m gonna do this.” 

After a few more deep breaths, I grabbed my bag, got out of the car, and started walking toward the main entrance to the dance studio before I changed my mind. I found Dieter sprawled out on the floor, looking at his phone. He dropped the phone on his chest when I walked in, a smile spreading across his face as he greeted me. 

“There you are! I was about to text you. You’re later than normal.” 

He sat upright and slid his phone across the floor toward his bag. He moved to get up, but I stopped him. “Stay there. We can start our stretches on the floor.” 

He nodded, eyeing me as I sat my bag down and dug my water bottle out. When I turned to face him, he was looking at me expectantly. I knew he was waiting for my answer, but he wasn’t going to ask. I was tempted to wait until the end of rehearsal to tell him, but I knew he needed to know. 

I sat down in front of him and started stretching. He didn’t make any move to stretch with me, instead he continued to stare, his brows arching further into his hairline by the second. 

“Is there a reason you’re not stretching?” I asked, pretending I didn’t know what he was waiting on. 

He scoffed, “Are you messing with me right now?” 

A smile tugged at my lips, I couldn’t fight it. 

A tentative smile spread across his face once he realized it, “You’re gonna go with me?” 

I nodded. He jumped up, leaned down, and pulled me to my feet before I even realized what was happening. His arms wrapped around my middle, lifting me off the floor in a tight hug as he spun us around, thanking me over and over again. I laughed at his overly dramatic reaction, but I knew his excitement was real. 

He finally sat me down, holding my shoulder briefly to make sure I had my footing. 

“Kat, you seriously just made my day. This is a big fucking deal for me right now.” 

“I know. I don’t want you to miss out on the opportunity. It’s gonna be a lot of work though. You know that right?” 

He nodded, maybe a little too enthusiastically. “I’ll work my ass off, I promise…oh! I need to text Lenny so he can get things moving.” 

He ran over to grab his phone off the floor and started tapping away. 

“So, when do we need to leave?” I asked. 

He paused and stared at the ceiling, like he was doing calculations.

“Umm…” He grimaced. “Tomorrow, like right after the show is over probably? I don’t know the flight times though. We might have to do a red-eye.” 

It was my turn to grimace, “Oof. That’s rough. Damn, when are we gonna have time to pack?”

He shrugged, “You think we’re far enough ahead this week to cut out a few hours early? We do have the fucking spray tans later this evening. Ugh, can we skip that?” 

I chuckled, “I doubt it. Maybe we can next week though? Hopefully.” 

I looked at the time. “Let's get four hours in and see how we’re feeling. If all is well, I say we go pack. Otherwise, we’ll be up late doing that.” 

He nodded, “Sounds like a plan.”  

I watched as he opened the camera on his phone and put it in selfie mode, “Guess we better start our social media campaign.” 

He quickly leaned in, snapping a pic of himself and half of my head. I laughed, “I’m sure they’re gonna love that one.” 

He snickered as he tapped away at his phone for a couple more minutes, before setting it back down next to his bag. Suddenly, my phone dinged with an Instagram notification. Well, that’s embarrassing. He looked at me with narrowed eyes, “Do you have notifications turned on for my posts?” 

I shook my head, turning away as I fought a nervous smile, “No…of course not.” 

He stepped in front of me and placed his pointer finger under my chin, raising it so that I was looking at him. I felt the heat of his touch jolt through my entire body as he gave me the cockiest smirk. 

“Say that to my face, please.” 

I couldn’t say it without smiling, I was the worst liar. “I-umm…”

His smirk turned into his cheesy lopsided grin as he tapped my nose with his finger, “That’s what I thought…Don’t worry Kit Kat. I know you love me. You don’t have to hide it.” 

He said it with a teasing tone, but that didn’t stop my eyes from widening at his words. “I-I just figured if we have to do all this social media stuff, I wanna know what you're posting about me. That’s all. Don’t get any crazy ideas.” 

He chuckled, “Mmmhmm. Sure. I’m on to you.” 

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “Whatever, Bravo. Get to stretching so we can get out of here.” 

He locked eyes with me, leaning in as he spoke. “Yes ma’am. Where do you want me?” 

What. The. Fuck. Is that? I was fairly certain that I stopped breathing. His eyes were smoldering - absolutely burning into my soul. I cleared my throat, “O-On the floor.” 

That came out breathier than I had intended. He arched a brow at me. 

“You need to stretch.” I reminded him.

His eyes darted around my face as his teeth sunk into his bottom lip, trying to hold back a smile. Something told me that he knew exactly what he was doing. New York was going to be interesting.

Once I managed to get him focused, we hit rehearsals hard. The Jive was not an easy dance, so we were exhausted by the time our four hours were up. My hips and feet were beginning to ache. That figures. Just before a long ass flight too. 

We were feeling pretty good about where things were, so we did end up leaving early to go pack before the cast spray tan session. When I got home, I quickly checked Dieter’s Instagram post before I got started.

I felt a rush of excitement when I saw the post. He really put #SheSecretlyLovesMe as a fucking hashtag? I wasn’t prepared for that. It was obviously a joke, but something about it felt a little flirty. There was also something about seeing a selfie of us together. It wasn’t like one of the performance shots from the show. This was personal and intimate in a weird way. We were letting the public into what I thought was our carefully crafted bubble. 

I had to push those thoughts out of my head, I didn’t have time for that now because I had to rush to pack. It was a struggle, half of my laundry was dirty because I hadn’t felt like doing it. I had to get creative with my outfit choices for the week, only having time to wash and dry one load. I managed to get most of it taken care of before it was time to leave for our latest spray tan session. 

During the drive over, I could feel my nervousness setting in over the possibility of seeing Alec and Lana. Not knowing how they were going to act toward me or behave toward each other was the biggest cause of it. Their behavior had the potential to cause some serious drama.  

Once I got to Television City Studios, I waited in my car until I saw Dieter arrive. I didn’t want to chance getting cornered by Alec or Lana alone. By the time I moved to get out, Dieter was already there with a questioning look on his face.

“What are you doing? Hiding in your car?” 

I laughed nervously, “I wasn’t hiding…I was just taking care of some last minute stuff.” I lied. 

He nodded, “Yeah, I feel you on that. I’ve had to make a long list of instructions for my assistant. He’s on plant and cat duty while I’m gone.” 

I chuckled, “Shouldn’t he be coming with you?”

Dieter snickered, “Umm, normally he would, yes. But he can run my calendar and boss me around remotely. I guess I need to find a permanent plant and cat sitter for when I’m gone though…”  

He looked pensive for a moment, “Are there professionals that do that sort of thing? Like certified? I’m pretty picky about that shit…I can’t leave them with just any random person. Especially Zee. She’s probably gonna be a mess while I’m gone...” 

I would’ve laughed at him if he didn’t look completely serious and sincere with his words. Could he be anymore fucking adorable? The care that he gave to his plants and Zee was completely melting my heart. If I knew nothing else about him, that alone would probably make me fall for him. 

I stood there taking in his expression, his lips pursed as he considered the question before he reached to rub at the back of his neck and sighed. The prospect of having to find someone to fill those important shoes while he was out of town seemed like a massive feat for him. My mind wandered, questioning if that was something I could do for him - take care of the things he cared about most when he couldn’t. I found myself wanting to. I wanted to take care of him. 

I suddenly realized Dieter was staring at me with questioning eyes. Shit, he said something to me, didn’t he?

I shook my head, “I’m sorry, what?” 

He smiled nervously, “Are you ok? You seem a little distracted. Am I boring you with my plant and cat problems?”

I gave him a genuine smile, “Absolutely not. I love hearing about your cat and plants.” We started walking toward the front entrance. “Please never stop telling me about them.” I added. 

He chuckled shyly, “If it gets annoying, just tell me to shut the fuck up. I know that I get carried away sometimes.” 

I shook my head, “You will never hear that from me.” 

He reached to pull the door open for me, then lightly placed his hand at the small of my back as he followed me through the door. His touch caused sparks at the base of my spin that shot out all the way to my fingertips and toes. I don’t know why because he often touched me there while we were dancing. This was nothing new. I can only assume it had to do with how casually he touched me off the dance floor these days. Especially since he had such an aversion to it in the beginning. 

We made our way toward the dressing rooms, eventually parting ways so we could get changed for our spray tans. Just as I was closing the door behind me, Alec and Lana passed by. Figures they would be here already. I sighed. I really did not want to be alone around them. 

I toed off my shoes, then stood there for a moment, feeling like there was something I was supposed to do. Then suddenly I realized I had forgotten that we were supposed to go to the wardrobe department first. “Shit.”

I grabbed my phone to text Dieter. I wasn’t even sure if he knew we were supposed to do that. 

Me: Hey, I forgot…we’re supposed to check in with wardrobe about next week’s costumes before tanning. 

Dieter: That would make sense…heading your way. 

There was a knock at the door. I turned to open it without a glance. Instead, I wandered around the room to find my flip flops as Dieter pushed the door open and leaned against the door frame with his arm above his head. Once I had my shoes on and moved toward the door, I was taken aback by how good he looked. I’m almost certain I froze on the spot as my eyes scanned up his broad towering form. It must have been obvious what was going through my head based on the smirk that appeared on his lips when my gaze finally met his. 

“You see something you like, honey?” He said in a husky voice. 

I swallowed thickly, “No, I see someone who’s standing in my way. Are you gonna move?” 

He chuckled, stepping to the side to let me pass, but I hesitated. Tensing once I caught sight of Alec and Lana walking back down the hallway toward the spray tan room. Alec’s back was toward us, but Lana’s was not. Her eyes connected with mine, she gave me a curious smile as they passed by. I could feel my jaw tighten as I inhaled a deep breath. I felt Dieter’s hand on the small of my back again, grounding me from whatever spiral I was about to go down. 

I felt him lean in close to my ear. “Kat is everything ok?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah, of course. Let’s go.” 

He gave me an odd look before motioning for me to exit through the doorway. He followed, closing the door behind us. 

Minutes later we found ourselves in the wardrobe department, Amy and her assistant were in a tizzy trying to find clothing in the proper size for us. Apparently, Dieter had slimmed down some since rehearsals started, which wasn’t unusual given how much exercise we were getting. So, they had to size his black pants down. They were still having an issue with the white button up shirt being too tight in the shoulders and chest. Of course they are, because he’s so fucking broad.

His slightly smaller waist was now emphasizing just how broad he actually was. I couldn’t help staring at his reflection in the mirror as they fussed over him, pinning and marking for alterations at the waist of the shirt as they joked about how many buttons he would need to leave open so he could move properly without ripping the shoulder seams. 

As I took him in, I noticed the pants were a different style than what they usually gave him. The fit was snugger in the thighs and ass, emphasizing all the right parts of him. Add that to the way the plain white button up shirt was hugging his biceps and shoulders…it nearly had me salivating like a crazed animal. Who knew such a simple outfit could look so fucking hot on a man. 

My attention was drawn back to the conversation happening around me when Amy asked with a sly smile what I thought about the costume. Fuck, she totally caught me ogling him. My eyes were drawn to Dieter’s in the mirror. He was smirking at me as he waited for an answer. Busted. Again. If I kept this up, he was eventually going to ask me point blank what my fucking problem is. 

I cleared my throat, “I mean…I think it looks great. Can’t go wrong with the classics.” 

They seemed happy with their handiwork at that point. Helping him remove this shirt so that he didn’t get stuck with pins. Meanwhile, I was ogling him again. I did not need to see him like this because he looked too fucking good. It seemed like his belly had shrunk some, but he was still soft around the middle, the way I liked. His shoulders and chest seemed more sculpted if that were even possible. I had to force myself to turn away before I got caught again, though from the cocky glances I noticed Dieter shooting my way, I think I may already have been.

After that, Dieter was off to the changing room to put his clothes back on and it was my turn to be poked and prodded at. They had put me in a backless white dress that had a low cut sparkly bodice and a feathered bottom half. It looked nothing like the sketch Stacia had shown me, but I didn’t question it. 

“Alright Kat, instead of making yours from scratch, I’m gonna rework this one. That way we at least have the sizing on the bodice and straps worked out.” She turned, grabbing a bolt of fabric, offering it to me to look at. 

“I’m gonna redo the bottom half with a sheer white fabric that I’ve ordered. It’ll have silver threading and beading to match the bodice. It’s similar to this but has a little more bling and it’ll be more romantic and flowy looking.”

I nodded, “Sounds good. I trust that it’ll look amazing with you in charge.” 

Dieter was behind me now, coming closer to inspect the bolt of fabric I was holding before letting his eyes scan over every inch of the dress. He arched an eyebrow and smiled at Amy, “I think that’s gonna look awesome, Amy. Then again, Kat can make a potato sack look amazing.”

He turned away, like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb, going to stand out of the way so Amy could get to work. I was shocked over his comment as I turned to Amy with my mouth slightly agape, catching a look pass between her and her assistant. Great, there’s some gossip for the cast to spread around.   

After Amy was satisfied with her alterations, they left Dieter and I alone for a few minutes to go pull shoe options for me. I decided to break the tension by suggesting we snap a quick picture for Instagram, figuring we might as well get into a habit of it now. Dieter leaned over in front of the mirror with a small smile while I snapped a few pictures with my phone. I took the opportunity to make a teaser post that we had big plans for the following week.

A few seconds after posting it, Dieter’s phone chimed in his pocket. I gave him a smug look, “Now who has Instagram alerts turned on?”  

He shrugged, “I mean, if you’re gonna be making posts about me…I wanna know what you're saying.” 

I narrowed my eyes and nodded, “Mmmhmm. Sure.” 

Amy returned then, offering me four options for shoes. Once I made my choice, I went to change out of the costume. We hustled to get back to our dressing rooms so we could change into our “spray tan” gear, then made our way to where the cast was congregating to wait their turn. They had already started the session, but to my dismay, Alec and Lana were still waiting. I had hoped they were done and gone already. I made a point to stay as far away from them as possible while also trying to not look in their direction. Of course, Dieter noticed. 

“Is Alec too good to talk to you when I’m around now?” he asked, eyeing them on the other side of the room. 

I sighed, “He probably hasn’t noticed me. It’s not a big deal.” 

His brows furrowed, “Oh he one hundred percent noticed you. I saw him looking…”

I felt panic rising in my chest and my face tensing, “I said it’s not a big deal. Drop it.”  There was no way I could explain what happened without getting emotional right now. I didn’t want to give Alec that satisfaction.

Dieter gave me a look of confusion but didn’t question it further. If he hadn’t realized something was up before, he definitely did now. I changed the subject, more so to give myself something else to focus on than anything, “You wanna grab some dinner after this? I’m starving.”

He gave me a guarded look, “Sure. What did you have in mind?”

I thought for a moment, “I’m thinking burritos. It’s a burrito kind of day.” 

He nodded, “I think I can get behind that.” 

We managed to avoid Alec and Lana for the reminder of our time there. Luckily, we didn’t have to wait long before one of the production assistants called us in. The staff had apparently been told to get us through as quickly as possible, which I appreciated. Stacia and Joe had actually done something right for once. 

Dieter and I finished up with our spray tans around the same time. I took advantage of it and walked back toward the dressing rooms with him, still paranoid about running into Alec or Lana. Luckily, we didn’t. We briefly parted to our respective dressing rooms to change. I was digging around in my gym bag, trying to find my shirt when Dieter knocked at the door. I yelled for him to come, not paying him any attention as I got more aggravated that I couldn’t find what I was looking for. 

I puffed air out through my cheeks and placed my hands on my hips, confused as to why I couldn't find my shirt. I finally met Dieter’s wide-eyed gaze, now realizing I was standing there in jeans and a black push-up bra. 

I sighed, “Put your eyes back in your head, Bravo. It’s not like you haven’t seen me in athletic wear before.” 

He laughed nervously, “That’s true…however, athletic wear doesn’t emphasize things like that.” 

I rolled my eyes at him as he tried not to stare at my chest. He eventually leaned down and picked something up that must have fallen out of my bag.

“That what you’re looking for?” he asked as he handed it to me. 

My forehead dropped into my palm as I sighed, “Yes…it is. Thank you. I thought I forgot it.” 

After throwing the t-shirt over my head, I started gathering my belongings. He watched me intently as I shoved things into my bag more forcefully than necessary. I wasn’t even sure why I was suddenly so irritated. I assume it was from seeing that asshat with her again. 

“Kat, did something happen? You know you can tell me. I feel like something’s going on with you the last couple of days.” He said gently.

Great job hiding it, Kat. I turned to face him, fighting back my emotions before I responded. “Yes. Ok. Something happened…but…I-I don’t wanna talk about it right now. Can we just have a normal evening? Please? I promise I’ll tell you. I just need time to process it.” 

His brow furrowed as anger flashed in his eyes. 

I shook my head, “He didn’t hurt me, if that’s what you're thinking. It’s…not that.” It seemed to calm him knowing that much at least. I shoved the last of my stuff in my bag and zipped it up.  

“Come on. Take me to get some food…please.” 

He opened the door, allowing me to walk out ahead of him. We were quiet until we got to the parking lot. I opened the trunk, threw my bag in, then turned to Dieter, “You’re driving.” 

He arched a brow at me and smiled, “Yes ma’am.” 

I followed him over to his car and plopped down in the passenger seat as he threw his bag into the back. Once he got situated behind the wheel, he grabbed a pair of glasses and popped them on his face. I couldn’t help admiring how adorable he looked with his glasses and messy hair. He glanced at me, looking slightly worried, “What? Is my spray tan fucked up or something?” 

I chuckled, “No. Just admiring your glasses.” 

He smirked, turning his head forward and starting the car. As we were on our way, I called in a pickup order. Dieter gave me an odd look but didn’t question it. After disconnecting the call, I tried to lighten the mood by asking about Zee. That seemed to do the trick, keeping him talking until we got to the restaurant. We sat in the parking lot, waiting for the text that our food was ready. After about forty-five minutes of waiting, Dieter was beginning to get impatient as his stomach grumbled loudly. 

Just as he started his tirade of complaints, I snapped a quick picture of him making his annoyed face, snickering as I posted it to Instagram before he even realized what was happening. His phone chimed with an alert. He paused mid-sentence, narrowing his eyes in my direction. 

“What did you just post?” he asked sternly, before cracking a smile. 

I shrugged, “Might as well get used to it. If we have to post social media shit, I’m gonna be as obnoxious as possible with it.” 

He looked at his phone and snorted, “Fucking hell, Kat. OK…it’s on now. Just remember anything that I post going forward is your fault. You started this.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “Whatever you say, Bravo.”

My phone dinged with a text that our food was ready. I moved to get out, but Dieter locked the door on me. 

“I got it. You sit,” he said sternly. 

I scoffed, “Well…OK then.” 

He was back within minutes, shaking his head as he handed me the food through the window. Once he was back in the driver’s seat he gave me an exasperated look. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked. 

“Apparently the girl working the front is a Dieterina shipper. I got questioned out about why the food was in your name and why I was the one picking it up. Like that means something…” 

My head dropped back against the seat, “Great. Here we go with that stuff…they’ll look for anything.”

I felt my stomach do a little flip at the thought of it meaning something. It didn’t bother me as much as it once did. Especially now that Alec was out of the picture. However, I didn’t want Dieter to be associated with that new development in any way. He didn’t need a reputation as a home wrecker to add to his list.

Once we decided that we would eat in the car, I began filling him in on the details from my meeting with Stacia and Joe - not having told him everything yet. We got a head start on discussing our dance for the following week as I pulled up the song to listen to while we devoured our burritos. We sat in silence, listening to it in full, twice. I could feel the tension forming between us as the realization set in of how intimate this dance was about to be. All while we were off on our own together in New York. 

We sat almost a little stunned as we considered our options for the Rumba. I finally suggested we think on it and discuss it more once we made it through the Jive. It felt like an added pressure to worry about it right now. At least it did for me now that I was thinking of everything else that was coming at us with it. 

After we finished eating, he dropped me off at my car so I could head home for the evening. Once home, I rushed to finish up the last of my packing since we would be leaving for the airport directly from the studio after the show was over. I wasn’t even sure of most of our travel details. I just knew a car would be picking me up in the morning. As bad as it sounded, I was relying on Dieter to know what was going on since his people were working with both studios to figure everything out. It was a little nerve wrecking, but I brushed it off as I crawled into bed and passed out from the exhaustion the last few days had brought. 

I was in a rush the following morning, double checking that I had everything and also trying to get ready before my ride was due to arrive at 7AM. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with everything to come as I stood at the kitchen counter, reading through an email from Stacia and Joe with my schedule of promo appearances for the week when a text came through from Dieter. I checked the time. It was 6:55 AM. Confused as to why he was texting me so early, I switched to my messenger app. 

Dieter: Your ride is here. Do you need any help?

A crease formed between my brows, “What the fu…” 

I walked over to look out through the curtains. Sure enough, I could see Dieter through the open back window of a SUV that was sitting in my driveway. My phone dinged again. 

Dieter: Also, your plants look sad. I’m disappointed in you. Have I taught you nothing? 😂

I rolled my eyes.

ME: First of all, shut up about my plants. I do not have a green thumb and I have accepted that. I’ll be out in a minute. 

I hurried around, double checking that everything was turned off and locked up before grabbing my bags and heading out the front door. The driver got out of the car, rushing to help me. He took my bags as Dieter pushed his door open and slid to the opposite side of the car so I could get in without having to walk around.

I got in and sat down with a huff, “I wasn’t aware that I would be riding with you this morning.”

He shrugged and handed me a coffee, “Ehh, it’s on the way.” 

I gave him a confused look, “No it’s not.” 

He chuckled nervously, “It is if I’m getting coffee…and take the long way.” 

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He was so extra sometimes. 

He elbowed me gently, “Hey…about your plants…can I send someone over to take care of that for you? I don’t like sad plants.” 

I snorted, “You’re joking…”

His eyes widened, like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t, “Yeees. Totally joking.” 

I gasped, “You’re not joking!” 

He shook his head, “No. I’m kind of serious…actually.” 

My head shook from side to side, “Dieter…no. Absolutely not.” 

He pouted like a petulant child in that way he does. 

I poked him in the arm, “Stop that right now. I’ll take care of them when I get back.”

“When you get back!?!?! They’ll be dead by then!” he said dramatically. 

I couldn’t help laughing at him, it was honestly cute that he cared that much.

“I’ll have my assistant stop by to water them. He’s on plant duty anyway.” 

I scoffed, “Dieter…no.” 

“Shhhh. It’s happening. I’m not discussing it any further.” He waved his hand dismissively in my direction as he turned his attention to tapping at his phone.

My mouth dropped open in shock over his sassy attitude, “Did you just…” 

“Yes. Now be quiet, I need to concentrate to type up these instructions.” 

He gave me the side-eye with a small smile tugging at his lips. I shoved his leg with mine as he burst out laughing. So, this is how this week is gonna go. 

After arriving at Television City Studios, the driver helped unload our bags so we could store them in our dressing rooms. We got several odd looks as we wheeled our luggage through the lobby and down the dressing room hallway. The sight was sure to cause some gossip since no one knew about our plans for the upcoming week. 

Once we dropped off our luggage, Dieter and I headed to the ballroom to get the first few run throughs with the band and camera blocking out of the way. I tried not to pay attention to the eyes on us because I knew Alec and Lana were among them, but by the time we finished, I could feel my nerves setting in. I would have to face Alec soon enough for the group performance dress rehearsal. 

I spent a fair amount of my time in the hair and makeup chair trying to focus and not let that asshole get to me, determined not to let him mess me up today. I knew Dieter could sense my tension from the way he kept looking at me with concern, but he never said anything. Instead, he tried to keep me distracted by talking about anything and everything as we sat there getting lathered in hair spray, gel, and makeup. Occasionally, he would reach over and give my arm or hand a reassuring squeeze when he was able. 

Then, Lana and Alec walked in. They sat on the opposite side from us, thankfully, but we could easily still catch glimpses of each other in the mirrors. It wasn’t lost on me that Alec was keeping an eye on us when he was able. His gaze making me feel more tense by the minute, causing my chest to tighten and my breathing to pick up. 

I turned my chair facing away from the mirror, toward Dieter instead. Dieter’s wide-eyed reflection told me that he could see the panic setting in. Without warning, he turned his chair to face toward me, which resulted in a minor scolding from the girl working on his hair. He didn’t say anything, but I could see how concerned he was from the way his eyes were focused on me. 

I sat staring at the rise and fall of his chest, attempting to match his breathing. After a short time passed, I felt something pressing against my lower leg, just above the ankle. I glanced down and found Dieter’s outstretched leg against mine, grounding me to the here and now. It was unexpected and exactly what I needed. When I finally looked up and met his gaze, I realized my eyes were pooling with tears. He saw it too. 

He looked around, checking to see if anyone else had noticed. He cleared his throat, “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask…do you mind if I list you as Zee’s secondary emergency contact on her paperwork? You’re the only other person she likes so far. You know, just in case I’m outta town or something?” 

His question took me by surprise, which I’m pretty sure was his intent. It also made me feel emotional in a different way. I knew he was putting a lot of trust in me for something like that. I sniffled. 

“Really? Does that make me like her godmother or something?” 

He shrugged, “Is that a thing for cats? I mean, I guess so…” 

The ladies working on our hair let out a chorus of “awwws” over his question. I gave him a genuine smile, thankful that he was here with me. He always knew what I needed. 

“Of course, anything for Zee.” I finally answered.

He returned my smile with one of his own. He almost looked…relieved? I wasn’t sure if it was from my answer or the fact that the distraction had worked. 

Another girl stepped in to start working on my makeup at that point, so Dieter had to move his leg away from mine. I found myself longing for his warmth the second it was gone. We did, however, stay facing each other. 

We soon found ourselves talking and joking with the ladies who were getting us ready, and I had completely forgotten about Alec and Lana on the other side of the room. Dieter kept the laughs going by giving suggestions on my hair and makeup. Most of it was said with the intention of being funny, but they did take him up on the suggestion to add a red rose accessory to the side of my hair that was pinned back. He went on to say that it would make my red lips and nails pop a little more, seemingly thrilled that they actually agreed with him. 

Time flew by after that, and we were finished in hair and makeup before we knew it. Dieter had refused to leave his seat until I was finished, and surprisingly they didn’t make a big deal out of it. I think they enjoyed his company just as much as I did. When we finally got up to leave, he followed closely behind me, somewhat blocking my view of Alec and Lana. I had a feeling his actions were intentional but couldn’t know for certain. 

Once we got into the hallway, I felt his fingers slide around my left hand, his thumb gently gliding back and forth over the engagement ring that I still wore on my finger. I noticed his brow furrow slightly before asking if I was ok. I nodded. He smiled before leaning in next to my ear and speaking in a low voice. 

“Just for the record, I think you look amazing in red.” 

I could feel the heat creeping up into my cheeks and a tingle between my thighs from his words. I gave him a shy smile just as we reached my dressing room door. My grip tightened on his hand, before pulling him into a hug. A real hug. Not one of those half-assed side hugs we did more often than not. I didn’t hesitate to bury my face in his neck, inhaling his scent as deeply as I could. 

“Thank you for keeping me together back there.” 

I felt his arms tighten around me, “You don't have to thank me for that. You know I’d do anything for you.” 

I pulled away and cupped his cheeks with both hands, letting my eyes roam over his face before I gave him a sad smile, “I know you would. Thank you just the same though.”

I felt his fingers twitch on my hips, suddenly making me aware of how this might appear to onlookers. I dropped my hands and stepped away, “I guess we better get changed for dress rehearsal.” 

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ll meet you back here so we can go together, OK?” 

I nodded. He seemed to sense that I didn’t want to be left wandering the halls alone. He could already read me better than Alec ever could. 

Minutes later, we had changed and were heading back to the ballroom. Quickly getting through our dress rehearsal with a few minor errors on my part. Having Alec lurking around was really starting to become a distraction. Knowing that I would soon have to dance with him was making me extremely anxious and I was having a hard time moving past it. I hoped once that was out of the way, I would be able to focus on our routine the way I needed to. 

After our dress rehearsal, Dieter walked me back to my dressing room so I could change into the group performance costume while he waited just outside the door. When I was ready, he escorted me back to the ballroom. He tried to keep the conversation light through it all. Even managing to make me laugh a few times. I had to appreciate his efforts, I’m not sure I would have made it through the day without him. 

Before I knew it, the professional dance cast was gathering on the dance floor to run through the opening performance. Dieter stayed nearby, casually sprawled out in a chair, watching. It did give me some comfort knowing he was there. 

As we were standing around the center of the floor, awaiting instructions from Emily, Alec approached me. I refused to look at him directly. For once he seemed nervous and unsure of himself as he worked up the courage to speak to me. 

“Kat, can we talk later? Please?” 

My eyes briefly cut toward him, “I have nothing to say to you.” 

He sighed, “Please. Just let me explain.” 

I could feel the rage bubbling inside of me. What could he possibly have to say that would explain his behavior? I turned to face him, my expression not hiding the anger I was feeling. 

“I don’t even want to be in your presence right now. You should consider yourself lucky that I’m not making a big deal out of having to dance with you today. So, just keep your damn mouth shut and let’s get our fucking job done.” 

His eyes widened, shocked that I was standing up to him in such a way. I could sense several cast members watching us, clearly having overheard me. It seemed to make Alec uncomfortable, probably because he couldn’t react how he normally would to my defiance. His only response was to nod and stand there quietly. He stayed that way until we started the routine. Surprisingly, he did drop the issue. The only communication between us was what the performance required. We managed to make it through without any issues. 

I walked off the dance floor without saying another word to him, feeling more relaxed and realizing that he no longer had any hold over me. This thing with him was finally over and I could let him go. He had to know there was no coming back from it and he couldn’t blame me for it either.

Dieter stood and moved to meet me at the edge of the dance floor with a questioning look on his face. I gave him a genuine smile now, looping my arm through his as I pulled him toward the exit, “Come on, let’s get our final fittings done.” 

The rest of the morning went by in a blur as we rushed to finish up with our final fittings and stop in for touch ups on hair and makeup. Before we knew it, we were in the staging area, waiting for the live show to begin. I managed to make it through the opening performance with Alec without any issue. He didn’t try to speak to me at all outside of what was necessary. It seemed he had finally listened to me for once. Afterwards, I rushed to change for my performance with Dieter. I was eager to be back with him, finding that his presence was like a comforting balm to my still raw emotions that threatened to break free at any moment. I was more than happy to be done with Alec, but there was still some residual hurt there too. There always would be since he had taken up such a large part of my life. However, Dieter seemed to make it a lot more bearable.

When I finally made my way back to Dieter, he gave me a brilliant smile before leaning in to tell me that I stole the show once again. I rolled my eyes at the compliment but was flattered by it just the same. We took a minute to take some quick pictures in costume to post on social media to make the bosses happy - both of us adding playful comments about each other just to make it more entertaining.

He stood there for a moment, staring at his phone before glancing in my direction.

“You know, those shorts should be illegal. I can’t believe they’re letting you dance in those.” 

I scoffed, “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I’ve worn less clothing to dance in than this before.” 

He chuckled, still looking at his phone, “That may be true, but those little skirts don’t hug your ass like that.” 

My eyebrows disappeared into my hairline as I stared at him. His eyes widened, like he just realized he said that out loud. He slowly raised his head to meet my gaze and gave me a sheepish smile, his cheeks turning a little red. 

He shrugged, “I’m sorry. I’m a man. I’m gonna notice a nice ass. Especially when it’s shaking in front of me on the daily. Sue me.” 

I snorted at his openness. He had no shame. If only he knew all the parts of his body that caught my attention on the daily…

To break the tension, I pulled out my phone to get our weekly hype song ready. I handed Dieter one of the earbuds, he gave me a questioning look as he listened before bursting out laughing. 

“The Brian Setzer Orchestra? Really? I swear I never know what you're gonna pick…I love it.” 

I laughed, “Keeping with the theme of the week. Gotta get you in the Jive mindset.” 

We started moving to the beat of the music, getting into the right mindset for the high energy dance we were about to perform. Out of nowhere, a camera was suddenly being shoved in our faces reminding me about the behind the scenes filming they were starting this week. It sort of took away from the moment, but we smiled and waved. Luckily, they didn’t stick with us for long. Dieter and I both shared a look of annoyance as they moved to another area to film. I made a mental note to find us a place to hide for the following week. 

Minutes later, we made our way out onto the dance floor and took our places. The spotlight dropped down on Dieter, who was standing in the middle of the stage. He opened with some of his signature Elvis Presley hip wiggles to the audience’s delight. He soon joined me on the main floor where we shifted into our high energy swing style dance. Neither of us missed a beat as we made our way through the routine - rock stepping, kicking, and twirling with smiles. Dieter added to the theatrics by giving several lip curls as he continued to gyrate around the floor. We finally ended with a flourish, settling into our ending pose as the lights dimmed to darkness around us. 

The screaming and applause from the crowd was almost deafening as we made our way over to the interview area and awaited our scores. Dieter was his usual charming self as he answered questions about his struggles for the week. He shifted to praising me for my patience and ability to get him to where he needed to be for the competition, hugging me tightly into his side as he spoke. His occasional glances in my direction were causing all sorts of reactions from my body. Clearly the high energy atmosphere was only intensifying things for me because the only thing I could think about doing was getting him back to his dressing room to straddle his thick thighs and have my way with him.  

I was drawn from my thoughts just as the judges began to read off our scores, giving us three 9’s and one 10. We were inching closer and closer to a perfect score every week and I absolutely could not believe it. Especially since the judges tended to get more critical as the weeks went on. Dieter was beyond excited, lifting me off the floor with a spin as we briefly celebrated the results.   

We spent the rest of the show watching from the staging area. Again, our only real competition this week seemed to be Alec and Lana, which grated on my nerves. Everything in me was hoping they would fuck up and get voted off the show, so I didn’t have to look at them anymore. It didn’t look like that was happening anytime soon though. 

Dieter didn’t leave my side until we returned to our dressing rooms to change out of our costumes. When I opened the door to set the dry cleaning bag outside for pickup, Alec was there with his hand posed to knock on the door. 

The anger that I felt in that instant was beyond anything I could describe. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to try and “explain” this situation to me after what I saw. I dropped the dry cleaning bag beside the door then crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to allow him to enter my dressing room. I didn’t want to be alone with him out of view of other people. 

“I believe I told you that I didn’t wanna speak to you.” 

He tried to crowd me so that I would move backward into the room, but I didn’t budge. 

I gave him a pointed look, “Whatever it is you have to say, you can say right here.” 

He scoffed, “We have no privacy here.”

I shrugged, “Well… I didn’t wanna hear what you had to say anyway.”

I moved to close the door, but he stopped it with his hand. 

I huffed, giving him a frustrated look. 

“Kat, come on. You can’t blame this all on me. You’ve been checked out for months. You’ve wanted nothing to do with me. What was I supposed to do?”

“I dunno, maybe try to earn my trust back? I’m sorry but worrying about who you’ve been fucking and if I’m gonna get an STD is kind of a mood killer in the bedroom.”

His eyes widened, anger flashing there briefly before he remembered where he was. 

I laughed sarcastically, “Did you really think this little talk was gonna work after what I walked in on? This wasn’t texting other people or chatting online, Alec. There is no talking your way out of it. You fucked up and it’s all on you. I told you this was your last chance, and it literally took you…what, all of three days to fuck up again? You didn’t even try. So, fuck your excuses. I’m done.” 

I moved to pull the ring off my finger. He looked like he was about to have a meltdown as I held it out to him. Something between hurt, defeat, and anger was swirling behind his eyes as he took it from me. I don’t think it ever occurred to him that this could be an outcome for his actions. 

His jaw ticked to the side, it seemed anger was winning. “This is because of Bravo, isn’t it?”

I shook my head, “Dieter doesn’t have a damn thing to do with this, so don’t even go there. You did this when you decided to fuck around with other people. YOU. No one else.” 

I sighed, realizing there were now a couple of people hanging around to be nosey. Fuck this. I don’t owe him a conversation. “Give me my house key and leave please.”

Alec shook his head, “I don’t have it on me.” He was such a fucking liar. His keys were half hanging out of his pants pocket. I rolled my eyes, reaching to grab them before he realized what was going on. I took my key off the ring then tossed the rest back at him before shutting the door in his face and locking it. 

I sank down in one of the plush chairs, letting relief wash over me now that that part was over with. I hoped he would let it go, but deep down, I knew he wouldn’t. I couldn’t have been happier that this was my last season on the show for this reason alone. It was probably also a good thing that I was going out of town for the week. At least it would give him some time to cool down. 

My phone chimed with a text from Dieter asking me to let him in. I drug myself up out of the chair to turn the lock and open the door. Dieter didn’t make a move to come in, instead he reached for my chin, tilting my head upward to meet his gaze before settling his hand on my shoulder.

“Are you OK? I overheard someone say you and Alec were arguing.” 

My eyes scanned the open dressing room doors behind him. It seemed like there were more people milling around than normal. Without a word, I pulled Dieter inside and shut the door behind us. I didn’t care what anyone thought about it. 

When Dieter turned to face me, I was fighting back tears. He pulled me against his chest into a tight hug. He hadn’t hesitated to come to me when he thought I might need him. I really didn’t deserve him. We stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity before he finally spoke. 

“Can you please tell me if you’re OK? He didn’t do anything to you did he?”

I shook my head against his firm chest, “No…not physically anyway.” 

I could feel his body relax against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter, causing me to melt into his arms. He really did give the best hugs, completely enveloping me with his scent and warmth. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt safer or more content than in that moment. I never wanted to let him go. 

Our moment was broken by his cell chiming in his hand. He sighed, pulling away to look at it. He left his other hand resting at the nape of my neck.

“Our ride to the airport is here. You ready to go?” he asked. His fingers lightly threaded through my hair as he spoke. 

I nodded, moving away from him to collect my bags. He helped me get them into the hallway, then I followed him down to his dressing room so he could grab his. There were more than a few curious eyes on us as he emerged with his own suitcases. I was sure that our strange departure together would only add to the gossip in the days to come. 

We were silent during the ride to the airport, but that didn’t stop him from reaching between us for my left hand, settling his on top of it, squeezing in what was meant to be a comforting gesture. His thumb made a few passes across my knuckles before pausing. In my periphery, I could see his head turn toward me slightly as he glanced downward. A crease formed between his brows before he met my gaze. I could see his jaw tighten as his eyes danced around my face before he eventually turned to stare out the window. He rubbed his chin for a moment, then I felt his fingers move to entwin through the tops of mine. We stayed like that until we got to the airport. 

Of course there were paparazzi at the airport, shouting questions at us about the show and asking why we were traveling together. Dieter was quick to mention that we were traveling for work. That was really the only question either of us answered. I was in no mood for it and Dieter didn’t seem like he was either. 

By the time we got on the plane, we were dragging. It had been such a long day already and we still had to make it through the five hour flight and get to the hotel. We knew we were going to be running on fumes the next day after considering the three hour time loss in our schedule. So, we did try to sleep on the plane. After falling asleep on Dieter’s shoulder, I did manage to rest better than expected, but it wasn’t enough.

It was nearing 6 AM by the time we finally made it to our Soho hotel. Dieter and I stood leaning against the check-in desk waiting as they looked up our room reservations. We were pretty much dead on our feet by this point and hoping to get at least a few good hours of sleep in before we had to head over to Studio 8H for Dieter to start digging into his SNL duties. The lady behind the desk finally turned her attention back to us, sliding our room keys over along with some paperwork for Dieter to sign. 

The desk clerk smiled, before going into her spiel about the hotel amenities. Dieter waved her off, “I’m sorry, we’ve just gotten off a five hour flight. We really just wanna sleep right now.”

Her smile widened, “Totally understandable Mr. Bravo. So, you’ll be staying in the South Loft on the 16th floor. The elevators are just over there.” She paused, motioning with her hand. “Do you need help with your bags?” She asked. 

This woman’s full attention was on Dieter. Not that I blamed her, but damn. I was standing here too. I tapped on the countertop, “I’m sorry, but where will my room be?” I asked impatiently. 

Her smile faltered somewhat as she looked between us, “Well, you’re both in the South Loft.” I felt the color drain from my face before she even finished the sentence. I’m so fucked.

Next: Week 5 (Part 1)

A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! I hope you enjoyed the latest installment. I'm sure you did given that Alec is now officially out of the picture. Please do share your feelings on his latest (major) fuck up. How do you feel about how Kat is handling things? She's kind of all over the place with it. We didn't get any of Dieter's POV in this chapter (because it was so fucking long... sorry), but we got a pretty big hint at the end when he realized things were about to change. What do you think was going through his head on that drive to the airport? What about his reaction? Also, now that he knows Alec is out of the picture, fully expect the menace to come out.

Stacia and Joe are of course up to their tricks. How much do you think they know about what's going on with their cast?

Speaking of the cast...WTF is up with Lana? Do you all hate her yet? How do you think she feels about Kat and what Alec did to her?

The next chapter(s) will be focused on Dieter and Kat in NYC preparing for the Rumba and SNL. Let's just say Kat wasn't wrong about the trip changing things between them. 😏

Below is your Jive video for this chapter. It was some nice inspo for Dieter's Elvis dance moves. 🤭

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[yeowangies]

Puffiness

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/GenderNeutral!Reader RATING: Everyone CONTENTS: Little Angst, Comfort, Established relationship WARNINGS: Mentions of mental illness. WORDCOUNT: 1440

Summary:

But it was like piling up a bunch of emotions you pushed back, suddenly floating up to occupy your mind at once. 

Luckily Raditz wasn’t there to witness it.

Notes:

I meant to finish this small piece last weekend, but well, I didn't. I was feeling bad and writing things like this from my own experience is hard.

I have a love hate relationship with this kind of confessional fics. It feels good to put my own feelings into words, but on the other hand, I spend almost all the time it takes me to write it crying, but it's also a way to have catharsis, though I feel exposed, but then again-

Anyway, I don't go into anything specific about mental illness and stuff, but it's there. I also barely proof read this.

It was one of those days. You weren’t exactly sure why you’d randomly felt like that even when nothing really happened; you even woke up in a good mood. But it was like piling up a bunch of emotions you pushed back, suddenly floating up to occupy your mind at once. 

Luckily Raditz wasn’t there to witness it. While you hated that he spent so much time training with Goku, sometimes being gone for weeks and months at a time, at some point you were glad he wasn’t around much. He had rarely seen you when you were down, and if he had, he noticed enough to try and make the day easier for you (which usually just involved more kisses and attention during sex, and you appreciated it).

This time, it was different, and you were glad he wasn’t home. You’ve been on the edge of tears for half the day, and after dinner, you couldn’t help but cry a little. Or a lot. It was uncomfortable to do it, eyes puffy and stuffy nose, but it was worse to try and hold it in, so you were basically sobbing while washing the dishes. Even after taking a shower and washing your face thoroughly, you couldn’t help it, and you wonder if there even was a point in putting on night cream if you were going to keep crying your eyes out once you went to bed. 

You were startled when you heard the front door open. You could tell by the sound alone that it was Raditz. He had come home sooner than you expected. 

Trying to wipe your tears as quickly as you could, pressing your fingers to your eyes to will the puffiness away magically. He was going to notice, no matter how much you tried, but maybe the shower would have made it not so obvious. 

“Hey!” Raditz greeted you with a grin as he walked into the bedroom. 

You smiled at him from your seat by the vanity, and he didn’t even give you time to greet him back, standing by you in the blink of an eye as he leaned down to kiss you at once. You made a startled noise, returning the affection before he pulled away. 

“I wasn’t expecting you tonight.” You commented, wondering if your voice sounded even right at that moment. 

Raditz kept his smile on his face as he looked down at you but it soon flattened, and you blinked, confused. 

“You’ve been crying.” 

So it was noticeable. 

Unsure of what to say, you didn’t reply to his comment, your eyes going elsewhere to avoid his gaze. 

“Have you eaten? I can make you something quick.”

“No, I ate.” 

“You should shower before bed then, I know you must smell bad.” You said, standing up and walking past Raditz towards the bathroom to get everything ready for him. 

The frustration on his face was more than obvious when he walked into the bathroom a minute later, still keeping his eyes fixed on you until you closed the door so he could clean himself up. He must have known you weren’t angry or upset with him; you made it painfully obvious for him when you were. But he must still be confused about your sadness, and while you knew well that he wasn’t human, sometimes you forgot about it and what it implied. 

Would he even understand your heartache?

You were settled on your side of the bed when Raditz walked into the bedroom a few minutes later, completely dried and wearing only his boxers. You tried to meet his eyes for a second, taking all of him before you averted your gaze. Too much distraction to see him like that, so you turned around, facing the other side of the room as he laid on his side. 

He was close enough that you felt warmth radiating from him, but when you tried to move to turn off the lamp by your nightstand, he pressed his body to yours, his chest against your back, and sneaked a hand around your waist. Under any other circumstance, you would have relaxed into his touch, but knowing that he had seen right through you so easily, you felt more vulnerable than you would like, so you stiffened immediately. 

“Are you going to tell me why you’ve been crying?” Raditz asked softly, his face buried in your hair. “Was it me? Was I gone too long?”

“No, it’s not you.”

Sometimes it is you. 

However, you didn’t want to say it. It wasn’t his fault you felt like that, but when a haze of sadness creeped up on you, you doubted everything, even his affection. 

You remained quiet, wondering if or how you should even voice what was currently going on inside your head. Putting your emotions into words was difficult, and while it might help, you knew you were going to spill tears, even after spending the last couple of hours crying before he arrived home.

“I feel like a failure.” You finally confessed, very quietly.

“A failure?”

“Nothing I do matters.” Your voice wavered, and you tried to keep yourself together, breathing in deeply, as you spilled everything out. “It’s like never enough. But at the same time, I feel like I might explode from doing too much. Like every single emotion will break me into pieces. Everything overwhelms me and… I wish I was normal…”

It had been naive for you to think you could hold in the tears, and they ran down your nose and cheeks, wetting the pillow. It was a surprise you could still make sense while you spoke, but you didn’t know if you could speak again after that, and your heart weighed heavy on your chest when Raditz didn’t reply while you sobbed as quietly as you could.

Would he understand, though? He was a warrior, and he had faced death more times than you could count, and that had surely left scars on his body and his soul. But would he understand that your feelings had nothing to do with that kind of trauma? Surely he thought you were just being too dramatic and feeble. What has even happened in your life that you were unconsolable?

“I understand.” Raditz murmured gently against your neck. 

“You do?” You snuffled, wiping your face with your hand. 

“Yes.” He sighed, and you noticed the slight trepidation in his voice. “Our lives have not been nearly the same, but the frustration you’re describing… I know that too well.”

You pondered on his words for a moment before he urged you to turn to him. Reluctantly, you rolled over, wiping the rest of your tears away as you faced him, carefully lifting your eyes to meet his. 

Raditz had shown sides of him you never even imagined during the time he had spent with you; he had shown kindness and empathy and even silliness. The softness he had in his eyes then, however, you wanted to engrave it in your mind forever. 

He didn’t say anything at all, only looked into your eyes for an instant before holding you as close as he possibly could. You buried your face in his chest willingly, wrapping your arms around his waist as tears began to spill once again. It was still embarrassing to cry in front of him, but the strong hold he had on you, one hand patting your head, the other resting on your waist made you feel secure, more secure than you ever felt. And it shattered you; if there was even a wall left to keep you intact, his arms around you had made it come down, and all you could do was weep. 

There was only a certain amount of tears left to cry after spending half the day lamenting to yourself, so you calmed down after a couple of minutes, pulling away only a little to once again wipe your tears, realizing you had wet his chest (and the sheets). 

“I’m sorry.” You sobbed, moving your head to nuzzle his neck. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Raditz buried his face in the crook of your neck, dragging his nose along your jaw. That was usually an erotic gesture; he did it before initiating sex. But this time he only held you close, keeping a firm grip on your body, as if you were going to slip away at any chance. 

You wouldn’t, obviously. An entire new feeling overwhelmed you, even making tears well up again, but you didn’t feel like bawling anymore. Just being there, in his embrace, was enough to feel safe. 

[where-them-kinomiya-at]

In Defence Of V-Force Takao/Tyson

I’m finally starting this and it’s probably my 50th V-Force post because lord- I do appreciate the season as much as G-Revolution. Season 1 doesn’t even come in the same light because it stands above both of them.

Thanks @meowstix for being in support of this character and my analysis.

So I have already talked about my opinions on Takao/Tyson in V-Force in the post below. I am going to add on to it now. Do read the following posts before you carry on.

All I hear about Takao in V-Force is: asshole, 0 character development, total dick, belittles his teammates, etc. Honestly, you’re not wrong. He can be like that at times. I do understand if you hate him, it’s your opinion and I have no right to object it. But let me just maybe explain what I personally think of it.

So I once read that Takao’s attitude/cockiness mainly arises due to his off-screen events post season 1, which in my opinion can be considered a very valid point (unfortunately I don’t remember who said it. Please do reach out to me so I can tag you). Such events can only lead to him being adored and pampered by his fanbase which explains why he’s so on about ‘I’m just too good, I’m the champ.’ It is obviously hated a lot by people but let’s be honest- Takao handled his first few losses so well, much better than he did in G-Revolution. He didn’t win a single match until the end of episode 4 and lost to Ozuma twice in front of his hometown, the people of which really looked upon and adored him. I feel terrible when I realize that he wasn’t even expressing how he felt about it and pulled it off with a smile. Kenny/Kyouju mentioned ‘he feels horrible about this, don’t talk about his loss in front of his him’ to his classmates. Hiromi used this against him and it really upset him, but watch that scene. My boy handled it like a pro.

In the English version of episode 3 when Tyson was guzzling his lunch down his throat, Kenny tells him that he’s glad that the losses aren’t affecting his appetite, to which Tyson responds, ‘Food has incredible healing qualities’ which once again says that yeah, he really was hiding how he felt. I actually felt so sorry for him. Takao also handled kids like Zeo and Daichi (in the movie) who were incredulously clingy so much better in comparison to other seasons. This brings me to conclude my first point: Takao/Tyson handled situations like these very well in this season.

I feel like Takao’s way of thinking differed vastly from his teammates, causing him to often clash with them. No one ever bothered listening to his point of view. Sure, he once wanted to cheat his way through the match with the PsyKicks, but it was only to protect their bit beasts. He knew it was wrong, he said so himself, but he really was panicking his ass off and took up unjust methods to cover it up. The pressure of facing strong enemies who were big threats to him started to place him in an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. When his teammates bashed him for planning on cheating, he says ‘you have no idea what I’ve had to feel to get to this point’ (Japanese version).

His personality got much better after episode 20. He calmed down a lot and began to show his soft side to the audience. So yes, there was character development for sure.

One of my favourite things about him in this season is his adorable bond with dragoon/seiryu.

A good build up for G-Revolution includes the losses Takao faced in this season:

1. He lost Kane: I feel like V-Force Takao always needed a serene and sweet person like Kane to lighten up his frustrated mood. His teammates are often as loud and grumpy as him and he cannot stand that. Takao’s meeting with Kane lightened up his day so much that he felt the need to build an immediate and positive perception about him, which is probably why he was so devastated when he found out that he is a part of the PsyKicks.

2. He lost Zeo: Zeo was introduced as an amiable boy who quickly built a strong bond with his fan Takao but turned his back as quickly, completely leaving Takao in shock and sadness. Heck, Takao was speechless and at a loss of words often when he came across him.

In both the cases, Takao was in a loop of trust issues.

This build-up for G-Revolution talks about the abandonment issues he faced in the season. Also, I’m not quite sure on the details but didn’t he lose Kyouju to the PsyKicks in the manga? Please fill me up on it.

Ultimately, I love him

As much as I love them

[kumabeom]

mikrokosmos

synopsis: after coming back into contact with beomgyu , the person who wavered your view of love and couples , the two of you are forced to work together for a project. in the end the two of you have to deal with unwanted feelings.

star 24

beomgyu closed his computer shut , standing up from the floor and coming to sit next to you on his couch , he took soobin’s advice , as he pulled you closer to his chest. allowing you to rest your head on his torso. if you didn’t want to talk about your issues then he wasn’t going to force you to, but he was going to give you all the affection he could possibly give you. his lips touched the top of your head , pressing a peck on your head.

although it wasn’t soon that he felt a warm and wet feeling against his shirt , soaking onto his skin. beomgyu hadn’t seen you cry since that day after he left you, but he hadn’t seen you in a year or so, though the pain that seeing you cry was still there as he felt his heartache.

“gyu…. i feel like i’m making such a big deal out of nothing-“ he pulled you in closer (as if you weren’t close already) holding you as if you were the most important person in the entire world, to be fair, he did believe that you were the most important in his entire life.

“you don’t want to calm down first , bun..” you shook your head , wanting to let it all out at once. “what’s wrong , pretty baby , my baby shouldn’t be crying.”

“i just feel so guilty- beomie.. i feel so bad for being upset at yunjin.” you slowly let out , long pauses in between your words. “all because she wanted to defend me.”

“mind telling me more ?” beomgyu inquired , you weren’t one to usually get upset at people , you always saw the better side of the situation. so why would you get upset at your bestfriend who’s been there by your side for so many years.

“it’s just that she told.. taehyun and yena about our situation…” you were left sniffling as your tears were slowly beginning to stop. beomgyu realized what you were saying to him , discovering that you weren’t really too upset with yunjin , you were taking out that anger out on yourself. you knew yunjin didn’t do anything wrong so from the bad mood you gained from finding out what yunjin said, you were blaming yourself.

“yah , bun , look at me.” he watched as you raised your head , looking over to make eye contact with beomgyu. your cheeks were damp , nose and cheeks completely red , your lips chapped and vivid. “it’s okay to get upset. just because you’re a good person doesn’t mean you can’t get upset. you should rightfully still be upset with me instead of giving me this chance to make things better.. it’s what any other person would do… i mean yes i’m happy to be able to talk to you and call you mine again, but sometimes i think that i don’t deserve it. me on the other hand , i was upset at you for something that was my decision which was wrong and i know that now. but y/n it’s okay to be upset at yunjin , she crossed your boundaries and it’s fine to feel some type of way towards that..”

“though she meant to protect you , things could’ve gone differently. your relationships are something you should talk about when you want to talk about them. don’t worry , i’m sure yunjin understands what she did wrong and she’s probably doubting what she did, so now you just have to confront her and your feelings.”

beomgyu pulled you back into him , you were tightly wrapped in his arms. eyes closing as he continued to play with your hair , humming a soft unknown tune. he admired you. your hair was nice and soft within his fingers , lips pouting as you kept your eyes shut. he truly wished you stayed by his side forever.

after all you were his sputnik.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

(a/n: this is such a short update but there should be another update by the end of this week. also huening kai one shot coming soon 😚😚)

[naminethewriter]

It's a Twisted Reference

I'm already late! Which is fine, I didn't really think I would manage that, but here is day 2 for you to enjoy! 💛💖

@roceit2023

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Roceit Week 2023 Masterpost

Summary: Janus is late for his teatime with the prince. Roman makes his displeasure known.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“My apologies, my prince,” Janus said smoothly as he took his seat opposite of Roman. “My meeting went longer than anticipated.”

“I’d think as the prince I would have higher priority than some meeting,” Roman quipped and Janus could immediately tell he was in a sour mood.

“Of course, your highness. That’s why they let me go as soon as I mentioned that you were waiting for me.”

“Then why are you late?”

“Because there was business to deal with first but as soon as the discussion moved to more trivial topics, I excused myself.”

Roman frowned but didn’t press further, instead taking a bite of the cake on his plate. Janus took that as permission to start enjoying teatime. He lifted his cup to his lips and took a sip. He could see Roman watched him out of the corner of his eye.

Suspicious.

A second later he could taste why. It was subtle, but he knew how this tea was supposed to taste like and it was just ever so slightly off.

Poison.

Janus sighed and put his cup down.

“Trying to assassinate me again, my prince? What is it that is bothering you this time?” Roman huffed but kept quiet. Annoyed by the prince’s behavior but not willing to show it, Janus controlled the urge to roll his eyes and instead examined his state.

He was starting to feel a bit lightheaded, but it was only just noticeable. A slow acting poison then and not that potent. Even without an antidote, he might survive. Still, he pulled a vial out of his coat pocket that should neutralize it and drank it while keeping eye contact with Roman. The prince didn’t react.

From his behavior, Janus could guess that Roman wasn’t all that mad. If he had been, he would have resorted to more direct forms of assassinations. Janus could still remember the arrow that missed him by a hair when Roman was upset about Janus returning a week late from a diplomatic trip.

If Roman was truly displeased with him, he would make it known more directly.

No, this was a simpler issue, one that the prince wasn’t as willing to admit to.

Something he’s insecure about.

Roman finally broke the staring match they had unintentionally started, his cheeks tinted slightly pink. Janus narrowed his eyes and watched as the prince started to squirm.

“My prince, the sooner you tell me what’s wrong, the sooner we can address it.”

Roman mumbled something too quietly for Janus to hear.

“I can’t understand you, your highness, please speak up.”

“You’ve been distant lately and I don’t like it.”

Janus blinked, perplexed. When he didn’t respond, Roman started rambling.

“You always have meetings, you never eat with me anymore, I can’t find you half the time, you go out for days without telling me and when we do meet, you almost always come late! And you don’t call me by name anymore.” The last part Roman said very quietly, but Janus just managed to understand him.

He thought back to the recent weeks and realized that the prince was right. He had been so busy that he was on the move almost constantly and when he did manage to make time for Roman it was rather limited. And in all that stress he must have unconsciously defaulted back to formally addressing Roman.

No wonder he had been hurt.

“I apologize, Roman,” Janus sighed, leaning back in his chair and relaxing his posture for once. “There has been so much going on, I didn’t consider how that was affecting you as well.”

Roman chewed on his lip and slowly shook his head.

“I know that. And I get that it’s been stressful, I’ve had more to do as well. It’s just… It’s been affecting me more than usual for some reason and I don’t know why and that just built up more frustration. I just want to take a break. With you.”

Janus smiled.

“That sounds wonderful, my dear.” He gently took Roman’s hand in his. “I can clear my schedule for the day and you can drag me wherever you want.”

“You would do that?”

“Of course. Anything for my prince.”

[diaryofseraph]

thoughts from this weekend

i asked luke to come over to my apartment on friday so we could talk, and he correctly gauged that it wasn’t going to be a good kind of talk, so he skipped out on his usual going into work on friday afternoon and came to my apartment at around 1pm

i greeted him in the parking garage and he came over in his usual grumpster hoodie and red pants, holding two toolboxes for his screwdriver in his hand. judging from the expression on his face, i could tell he was quite uneasy/unsure of what to expect

i invited him up and we both sat down, and i started telling him about my concerns from two weeks ago. i asked him if he understood why what he said was so upsetting, and it seemed like he did. i asked him if he still had feelings for ricca, which he said yes to, and it really broke my heart to hear that. we launched into a 5 hour talk, in which i found out that he meant that he had love for her but was not in love with her, which is what i really wanted to confirm. i wanted to make sure that he wasn’t romantically interested in her and that she actually was “the love of his life.” honestly it seemed like he had thoughts/fragments of what he wanted to say and had trouble putting them together into coherent sentences/words, especially when it came to articulating how he viewed ricca. i was able to confirm that how he viewed her was probably not who she actually was, and that the “ideal her” was something he created in his head based on the good memories and it was his fault that he did so. i was also able to confirm that if he were to move to a diff place with me, it would mostly be to be close to me, not necessarily to just get out of arizona (though that would be nice for him). 

i was also concerned that he was only choosing me because i was a good candidate on paper and that i was a “safe option,” especially since the double income life w a physician salary would be pretty nice. he reassured me that he liked how kind/considerate i was and he actually was picturing a life where i didn’t have to work (just getting my degree was enough) and i didn’t necessarily have to stress too much about finances

he also confirmed yet again that he did picture a future with me, and he looked so sad when he said that if this was too much for me, that it would make sense if we did break up

i was really conflicted as the event two weeks ago really did affect my mood negatively and made me reconsider the relationship, but at the same time i really wanted to work things out. i just didn’t know how to proceed from there

but honestly the confirmation that he has love for her but is not in love with her (similar to how i view kunal) is what i needed to hear. i don’t want to date someone who’s pining after another person, and that’s not what’s happening, which is a lot better ( though it doesn’t mean that what happened 2 weeks ago still hurts)

we also talked about the psych med stuff, which he seems to still not understand, but he also understood that he couldn’t tell me to stop taking it (damn right u idiot)

we ended up getting little caesar’s and watched the weather man, which ended up not being the best movie to watch given what we talked about LOL, but it was a good nic cage movie in terms of how entertaining it was

then we got ready to sleep on the couch, and one thing led to another, and we were making out. we spent a lot of time just kissing slowly and grabbing each other, which was incredibly intense and passionate. and when he ended up fucking me, he was only able to last for so long, which was pretty cute :p we must had spent hours in that session, because it was 3-4am by the time we were finished. and yet again, i fell asleep wrapped tightly in his arms, face pressed against his chest

and we had yet another session in the morning, where he was laying on top of me to show how heavy it was with another person lying on top, and i started leaving pecks of kisses on his neck. it was really hot hearing him moan as i trailed up his neck, left a small hickey, and nibbled on his ear. he did the same to me, and i asked him to leave a hickey, which he did. eventually we moved to the bed, and he ended up using a condom so he could last longer without cumming. at some point i took off the condom because i wanted to feel him raw inside me, and he came yet again inside 

at the very end when he left, i was able to muster the courage to say that i wanted him to say ‘ilu’ more and show more physical touch, as it’s how i like to be shown love, and he seemed to understand. i really liked the weekend in how often he engaged with me by saying the ‘i love you’s and with hugging me, holding my hand, and cuddling me, and it’s something i look forward to

[adoringhaikyuu]

they misinterpret your words during a fight and think you want to break up

characters: aone + kyoutani + oikawa + ushijima + (gn!reader)

request: hii can I request saying 'why am i even trying' in a fight n they take it wrong way, they thought u had enough of them but u just mean it like ' why r u even trying to argue' - kyotani, aone, ushi and oikawa... thank you ✨ • by @chibiiichann​

warnings: a lil angsty

notes: i was not sure how to title this well skfjhg + let’s just say everyone lives together in these

aone:

it wasn’t that he was trying to aggravate you

it’s just that he genuinely didn’t understand why you were upset and he was being dismissive without even realizing it

and that is what pushed you over

you were tired, you wanted to go to bed 

and you clearly weren’t getting anywhere, so you were ready to just drop it and go to sleep, hence why you said

“why am i even trying”

aone blinked a few times as he stared down at you, those five words sending a spike to his gut. you tried to move past him, not noticing the panic in his eyes, when he shot his arm out to stop you.

you looked up at him about to complain when you noticed the intense and glassy look in his eyes. he spoke up, his voice small. “please don’t.”

you sighed, “i just don’t see the point, nobu. i’m going––”

“no.” his voice was slightly louder and shaky. “please.” he stood in front of you and placed his hands on your arms as he looked into your eyes. “please don’t leave me.” 

you tilted your head, “leave y––” you shook your head, “baby, no i’m not–” you walked into his arms and he hugged you immediately, his arms holding you tight. “i’m not leaving you,” you looked up at him to find him already staring at you, holding his tears back. you placed a hand on his cheek and he nuzzled into your palm. “i was just going to bed because this argument wasn’t going anywhere. that’s why i said i don’t see the point.” 

he swallowed harshly and nodded. “oh.” 

you smiled sadly, “well now i can’t be mad at you anymore...” 

his hands squeezed your waist, “for what it’s worth...i’m sorry, y/n.” 

you leaned up for a kiss and he met you halfway. “let’s go to bed, okay?” 

he nodded but made no move to let go of you––so the two of you stood there for a while, just holding each other in silence.  

kyoutani:

you and kyoutani didn’t fight often...to be honest you rarely ever fought

but today...

both of you were really stressed out

you started arguing over something stupid, to be honest you couldn’t even remember what it was

it was just a way for you both to get out your frustrations in the end

but your voices started getting louder and you were getting in each other’s faces

and it became too much for you, it was just stressing you out even more

you needed fresh air

you rolled your eyes and stepped back, trying to shove past him. “you know what? why am i even trying here–”

before you could get far, kyoutani grabbed your arm, not forcefully, but enough to make you stop. you looked up and glared at him, surprised to see another emotion swirling in his eyes––sadness?

“you’re fucking joking right?” he never was good at talking through his emotions. 

you scowled, his tone not helping either of your moods at all. “let me go.”

he scowled right back. “no.” 

“kentaro.”

he raised a brow and stepped closer to you, “oh so we’re on a first name basis now? what, y/n?”

you clenched your jaw and looked him in the eye, taking a deep breath. “please just let me go.” your voice was small, defeated, you just needed space. 

his hand loosened but he didn’t let go completely, seemingly battling with himself in his mind. “no...i can’t. i won’t let you leave me.” 

so that’s why he was upset? 

you frowned up at him. “taro. i’m just going for some fresh air. i’m not leaving you.” 

he let go of you and stood straight, his lips parted. “oh.” he clenched his jaw and looked down, suddenly embarrassed by his reaction. you grabbed his hand and started walking towards the door. “what are you doing?”

you looked back at him, eyes no longer blazing, but instead, warm and loving. “we are going to get some fresh air. together.” 

he looked down, suddenly shy, but kept walking with you. “okay.”

oikawa:

oikawa had a bad day and he was more irritable than usual

tbh he was being kinda rude unintentionally

you were eating dinner across from each other and you were trying to talk about how your days were, not having spoken to each other much due to your busy schedules

but he wasn’t in the mood for talking and was just answering you with hums and giving you one word responses

after a while you got annoyed and honestly felt a little hurt

so you sighed and rolled your eyes, getting up from the table to go refill your water, mumbling to yourself more than anything

“why am i even trying”

it wasn’t until you said that that oikawa looked up from his plate, eyes wide, heart beating loudly in his chest. “wait what––”

you were already in the kitchen by the time he looked up and he urgently got out of his seat, almost knocking down his glass and you turned around at the clatter, surprised to see him basically speed-walking towards you. 

“oh now you pay attention to me?” you went to sip your water when he pulled it out of your hands and set it on the counter, ignoring your “hey!-” in protest. 

his eyes were frantic as he looked at you, “look baby i’m sorry i just i had a really shitty day today but––”

you sighed and looked to the side. “and i get that tooru, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a dick, i mean it feels like we haven’t had time to ourselves this week at all...”

he pouted and took your face into his hands, “i know baby and i’m sorry, i haven’t been trying as much as i could have been. but i promise i’ll do better, okay? i know i don’t deserve it but please tell me you’ll keep trying too?” his eyes were suddenly filled with tears and you looked at him in shock.

“hey–what’s wrong?” 

he pressed his forehead against yours and let out a shaky breath. “i just don’t want you to leave me––please don’t. i don’t know what i’d do without you––”

you pulled away as much as he’d let you to look into his eyes. “woah baby what––i’m not leaving you? sure i was frustrated, but i wasn’t going to break up with you.” 

his eyes widened, “really?”

you nodded. “really, tooru i promise.” just from the vulnerable look in his eyes you felt like you could cry as well. you kissed his cheek, “i’m not going anywhere.” 

he sighed, relieved and pulled you into a hug, mumbling his next words into your shoulder. “i love you.”

ushijima:

ushi could be really blunt and straightforward 

and sometimes had a tendency to brush things off, not understanding the big deal

today you were trying to get him understand something that happened at work, someone pissed you off and it really put you in a bad mood for the whole day

and ushi was always there to talk through things with you at night when you got home

but today, he really couldn’t see why you were upset––or rather, why you let it affect you so much, he didn’t see the point

and it felt like he wasn’t listening to you

(granted, you were a little strung up already)

you didn’t want to deal with people anymore so you brushed past him and went to take a shower, grumbling “why am i even trying”

as soon as you uttered those words, ushijima paused, unsure what to even think. you didn’t mean the relationship did you? surely, he thought about how you’d had a bad day, how you were frustrated and maybe you were just saying that in regards to your frustrations...but part of him wasn’t sure. you seemed rather annoyed during the conversation much to his disliking.

unfortunately, he wasn’t able to ask you about it because as soon as he turned around, you were already locked in the bathroom. he sat anxiously at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped as he waited for you. you were taking your sweet time, no doubt relaxing and decompressing, which he understood, but it was only furthering his worry about the situation. 

it was a good while later that you’d finally gotten out of the shower, steam exiting the bathroom as you opened the door. you hadn’t even noticed ushijima sitting across from you as you got out, still focused on your thoughts, trying to calm down. 

you put your night shirt on along with some sweats, which was immediately a bad sign to him, you almost always slept in one of his shirts, and he loved that about you. 

only when you got on the bed did he speak up, clearly tense as he got your attention. “love...”

you turned and he swallowed thickly, suddenly nervous. “when you said...” he paused, looking down at his hands before looking into your eyes, clenching his jaw almost in pain. “are you giving up on us?” 

you frowned immediately, “what?”

“you...you said ‘why am i even trying’ and stormed off...did i do something? are you not happy?” 

your mouth dropped open in shock, the frustration coursing through your body now replaced with disbelief and sadness. you moved closer to him and put one hand on his cheek, the other other on his shoulder as you looked into his eyes. “what? baby no, i was just annoyed and our conversation wasn’t really helping but it wasn’t your fault! i just needed some time to think to myself, i’m sorry. this whole time you thought i wanted to end things?” 

he nodded once and your frown deepened. “baby i would never,” you paused and pulled him close for a sweet kiss. 

his hands came up to hold your waist and you melted into him, the kiss clearly soothing his worries. the look of relief and love in his eyes was clear as day when you pulled away to catch his eye. 

“i promise i am happiest with you. i’m not going anywhere, unless you were planning on leaving any time s––”

his hands gripped your waist tighter, a fierce look appearing in his eyes. “no. you’re it for me.” 

you smiled, feeling something burst in your chest and gave him another kiss. “i love you.” 

his hands made their way under your shirt and you hummed, pulling away to stop him. “baby i’m kinda tired today.”

he shook his head, a light blush on his cheeks . “i know. i just prefer when you wear my shirts.” 

you smiled and moved your hands away, “oh, okay. then go ahead.”

he smiled back, “thank you.”  

[uvobreakmylegs]

Error

i started this thing in february and only now felt like i could finish it lol

10k word count

Phinks x reader x Feitan

warnings: abusive relationships, injury, depictions of violence, gore, torture, blood, unhealthy relationships, mentions of death, you’d be a nervous wreck too if you lived with Phinks and Feitan

The generic ringtone of your cellphone roused you from your deep sleep, and you groggily reached out from underneath the covers to grab it from where it sat on the bedside table. It was a now-ancient flip phone, but how old it was didn't especially matter; the men who had taken you had tampered with it so that it could only receive calls, so beyond that, you had no use for it.

“Hello?” you asked, unable to keep the tiredness from your voice.

“You sound tired, princess. You sleepin' in?” Phinks' voice asked on the other end.

You pulled the phone away from your ear briefly to squint at the time displayed on the screen.

“It's four in the morning,” you said.

Phinks stayed silent after you answered, and in the background you could hear Feitan saying something. What he said exactly you weren't sure, but based off of the way Phinks hissed at him to 'shut up', he was probably teasing Phinks for calling so early.

“Wasn't thinking about the time zones. Sorry 'bout that,” Phinks said to you.

“It's okay,” you responded, tucking yourself back under the warm covers, “it's nice to hear you again.”

Talk like that tended to make Phinks happy, and you could hear the smile in his voice when he responded with a “same here.”

“Are you two coming back soon?” you asked.

“Yeah, we're all finished up here. If things go well, we should be back this evening,” he answered.

“Ah, that's good. Should I have dinner waiting for you two?”

“Nah, but wait up for us. We both wanna see you again.”

“I want to see you, too.”

Your tone had been a bit flat when you said that. It hadn't been intentional. Even though you thought you were doing a pretty good job holding up your end of the conversation, you were still at a very low energy level. At least it being four in the morning made for a good excuse as to why you didn't sound enthusiastic on hearing that they were coming back. Or at least you hoped that it would.

There was a brief moment of silence before Phinks spoke again, and you could just feel the look he exchanged with Feitan, who was no doubt listening in.

“Alright then,” he finally said, “you get some more rest. You'll need it.”

“Okay. I'll see you then.”

“Yeah, see you,” said Phinks.

You waited until Phinks hung up before you put the phone back in place on the table. You weren't allowed to hang up on either him or Feitan. They were the ones who got to decide when a conversation was over.

As you pulled your arm back under the covers, your sleepy brain mulled over Phinks' words. He'd been short by the end of the call, and you wondered if he was mad over how you responded to the news that they were coming back. Was Feitan mad too? Depending on their moods, it was sometimes scarily easy to upset them, which would then result in them lashing out at you. Even if it was just that you hadn't responded in the way they wanted you to. It was possible that there would be trouble for you once they got back.

You sighed to yourself, doing your best to push those worries aside as you tried to get more sleep. They weren't back yet, and there would be several hours before they arrived. That could be plenty of time for any upset they felt to dissipate. It didn't happen often, but it was possible.

Maybe you could make things better when they got back by giving them attention. Although that usually only worked with Phinks. Of the two of them, you were able to understand him better. He liked physical affection and attention from you, and that made it easier to keep him happy.

Feitan was a different story.

His mood seemed to fluctuate from day to day. Some days you could brush up against him and nothing would happen, and other days he would smack you upside the head just for getting a bit too close.

Phinks had been in the room the first time that happened, and though he did caress the spot where you'd been hit after Feitan had walked out, he told you it was your own fault for getting into Feitan's personal space when he was in “that kind of mood”. How you were supposed to tell what kind of mood Feitan was in still hadn't been explained to you.

Whenever he actually wanted physical affection from you, Feitan would never say it out loud. He'd just stare at you, as if he expected you to be able to read his mind and be able to tell what he wanted without him speaking to you. Not picking up on what he wanted would result in him hitting you or making comments on how you were stupid.

Phinks never really commented on Feitan's treatment of you; honestly, it felt more like he enjoyed whenever the smaller man would lash out at you just so he could have the chance to comfort you.

But that wasn't to say that Phinks was always the better of the two.

His equally short temper meant that he was just as bad.

A spider darted out from beneath a dishrag that you had picked up and the sight startled you so badly that you jumped back into the kitchen island and managed to knock over a bottle. It didn't have anything in it, but the glass immediately shattered the second it made contact with the floor and the sound echoed against the surfaces of the kitchen.

Phinks had seemed on edge all morning for reasons you didn't know, and seeing what had happened seemed to be his tipping point.

“Are you fucking serious? All this mess because of a goddamn bug?” he asked you incredulously. There was a vein in his forehead that looked like it was ready to burst. You didn't know what had caused him to be so angry; you were just trying to make things better.

“I'm sorry,” you said to him before you knelt down in front of the mess, “I'll clean it up.”

“Don't pick it up with your bare hands! Are you fucking stupid?!” Phinks yelled at you, “there's a broom for a reason!”

He stormed over to you and yanked your hand out of the broken glass. His grip on your wrist was tight as he continued to yell.

“It's bad enough that you're already so clumsy, you don't need to start acting like an idiot, too!”

Unbeknownst to you, Feitan had walked into the kitchen to see what the commotion was about. He stood there quietly while Phinks continued to yell and you did your best not to cry while the enhancer's grip on your wrist got tighter. He didn't have any intentions of intervening; he was just observing the scene.

When he noticed the spider that had made it to the other side of the sink, Feitan moved, walking around the other side of the island and to the counter. Phinks had stopped yelling long enough to notice Feitan grabbing a cutting board and preparing to smash it down on the arachnid.

“Don't use that to kill it! We use that for food-!”

Phinks' shouting and the sound of the cutting board hitting the counter almost masked the sound of your bones cracking.

Almost, but not quite.

The hours seemed to be moving by slowly today despite your knowledge of Phinks and Feitan returning, and you were caught between wanting the evening to never come and for the time to move faster just so you could get it over with already.

Trying to fill up the empty time by cleaning didn't do much; with you being alone in the house there was never that much mess. At most it ate up about a half hour as you made sure whatever dishes and the like you had used that morning were clean and sitting on the drying rack, and you finished off by dusting any area that looked like it needed it.

Noon came and went, and after a light lunch you found yourself in the same predicament as you stressed over the two of them coming back.

On the one hand, it would be nice to not spend your days completely alone. Though time to yourself was appreciated, it became difficult when it was like that for weeks on end. But on the other hand, you would be stuck with only Feitan and Phinks for company, and depending on what their moods were like once they returned, you would need to think carefully about what you said or did around them. If there were any frustrations they had about their latest mission, you'd rather that they didn't take it out on you.

With still several hours left before they returned, you decided to put on a movie to eat up some time. Maybe you could have a little mini-movie marathon before they got back. It didn't really matter, just as long as you could distract yourself from the way the time ticked by at a snail's pace.

You ended up picking a horror movie at random, one about a group of women that get trapped inside a cave. It was a pretty depressing one but very well made and had good characters.

At around the fifty minute mark, one of those characters fell down a hole and ended up with a broken leg. There were a few shots of the bone protruding from her leg as the other characters scrambled to help her and put the bone back into place. In the past while watching this scene you found you had difficulty watching it at times, but now it felt like you were desensitized to it. Like you had seen so many terrible things for real and up close that fake horror movie gore was no longer something that affected you.

The thought was a bit sad, and as one character set the bone back into place and the woman cried out in pain, you found yourself looking at your wrist. It was healed now, and though it had been painful, it likely wouldn't have compared to actually breaking a leg.

But that didn't make the memory any less unpleasant.

“C'mon, don't cry.”

Phinks had switched from full-on yelling at you to trying to console you, kneeling down next to you while you cradled your wrist. It was broken, you were sure of it, and the tears were streaming down your face as you tried your best to stop as Phinks had told you, but that was much easier said than done.

Feitan hadn't moved from the counter, his hand still on the cutting board he had slammed down. He was staring at you, and it was impossible to tell what sort of thoughts might have been going around in his head.

“It was an accident,” Phinks continued, “I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to do that, so stop crying, okay?”

When your sobs only continued, he snapped again.

“Goddammit, I said I was sorry, didn't I?” he spat, “what, is that not good enough?”

It really wasn't. But you weren't about to say that out loud.

After getting nowhere with you, Phinks stood and stormed out of the kitchen, swearing the whole way until you heard him yank the front door open. Moments later you heard a loud noise that sounded similar to thunder coming from the outside and the ground shaking slightly, but you didn't focus on that for too long, other things taking precedence.

Now you were alone with a broken wrist, a mess of glass shards on the floor, and Feitan.

It took a bit for you to compose yourself enough to push yourself to your feet. You needed to do something about your wrist, but first you needed to take care of the mess you had made. Trying to not move your wrist too much, you were still sniffling as you went to the other side of the kitchen island and dragged over the trash bin. You removed the lid before kneeling back down and began to pick the pieces of glass off of the floor to deposit them into the trash. Phinks had been yelling about you cleaning without a broom, but considering that you were now down to one hand, it was easier to just pick everything up this way, even if it was more time consuming.

Feitan had been watching you when you began, still not saying anything. When you glanced back up after a few moments, he was gone.

That was fine. If he wasn't in the room with you then you weren't running any risk of setting him off as well.

After dragging the trash bin back into place, you spotted the cutting board and went the extra mile to clean that up as well. There was a now very dead spider splattered on the other side. You put the board in the sink and ran hot water over it, mumbling the word “asshole” at the spider's body as it went down the drain. Like it could've even comprehended the trouble it had caused you.

Feitan was standing in the frame of the open front door when you finished in the kitchen, looking at what had caused the loud noise from earlier: one of the trees that stood next to the driveway was on its side, attached to the stump that was still in the ground by some pieces of the trunk that had managed to bend but not break.

Neither one's strength should've surprised you all that much anymore, especially given the current state of your wrist, but it was still something that Phinks was capable of decimating a tree just by punching it.

Feitan glanced back to you.

“Idiot is cooling off,” he said.

You nodded, and he looked down to your wrist.

“It's broken.”

You nodded again, saying “yeah. I'm gonna go fix it.”

You didn't wait to see if he had anything to say to that or if he would do anything; you just made your way to the bathroom where the first aid was kept.

It would've been nice if you'd had access to the internet to look up what one needed to do to take care of something like a broken wrist. Was just wrapping it up enough? Would you even be able to do that with just one hand?

Grabbing a roll of bandages regardless, you attempted to wrap up and secure your wrist to allow it to properly heal. But as you feared, wrapping up your wrist with one hand was proving difficult, as the white bandages kept unwrapping every time you tried.

From the corner of your eye you noticed a figure in black standing at the doorway. As expected, Feitan stood there, watching you again. A part of you wanted to ask him for help, if he knew what to do to wrap up a broken wrist. With all the things he did to the bodies of the people he tortured, he should at least have some idea of what to do to fix someone up, right?

But you held your tongue, unsure if asking him for help might make him upset with you as well. He didn't seem to have much interest in doing anything other than observing things.

He was a sadist, after all. He must've enjoyed seeing you struggle.

“Do you know what you're doing?”

His question was unexpected, and after a moment you shook your head.

“Why not ask for help?”

That was even more unexpected, and it took you several tries before you found your voice.

“I didn't- I don't want to bother you,” you said.

His eyebrows furrowed and he tsked at you, muttering the word “stupid” before he walked out of sight.

Good to know that both of your captors thought you were a dumbass.

You thought he was going to leave you alone after that, but when Feitan came back, he seemed more annoyed with you.

“Follow me,” he ordered.

Then he vanished down the hallway.

You weren't sure what all of this was about, but seeing as you didn't want to make him upset with you as well, you grabbed the medical kit and followed after him.

A sharp knock came from the front door.

You froze, and after pausing the movie, it took you a few seconds to figure out what to do.

Knocking at the front door like that typically meant it was some kind of outsider, most likely someone who had gotten lost in the area and came to the house to ask for directions. You weren't allowed to open the door for anyone, much less speak to anyone besides your two captors. It was belittling and felt very much like you were a child who was forbidden from talking to strangers.

Whenever this happened, Phinks was the one who would deal with it, and one way or another he'd send the person on their way.

But Phinks wasn't here now. Neither was Feitan (though he refused to deal with such things).

It was just you.

….. Should you open the door?

The immediate answer was 'no'. You weren't allowed to. Didn't matter if they weren't here; you couldn't go near that front door if there was someone else around. If you opened the door to some random person and they found out, it'd be hell for you. Probably a week or more in Feitan's torture room in the basement and then you'd need to work hard to earn back all of your privileges.

It was safer to ignore it and just hope whoever it was would go away.

The knocking sounded again but this time you tried to ignore it. You settled yourself back down on the couch as you waited for whoever it was to leave. You reached for the remote, but then stopped yourself, uncertain if the volume was loud enough for whoever was outside to hear and know that there was someone at home. Guess the movie would stay paused until it was safe.

But it became clear after a short while that this person wouldn't leave so easily. The knocking came periodically, and it didn't seem they were going to stop anytime soon.

Why were they so determined to get someone to come out?

Was it an enemy of Phinks and Feitan? They only told you bits and pieces about the Phantom Troupe, but it was enough to know that there'd be a lot of people who would want them dead. A good portion of those enemies probably wanted to mount Feitan's head on a stick for the amount of people who had suffered at his hands.

But those people would've probably just come barging in. You weren't by any means a threat; if they knew that your captors were out of town, what point was there to luring you out?

Another thought then occurred to you:

Was it actually Phinks and Feitan?

Feitan had managed to lose the keys to the house during their last mission (or maybe they were destroyed? His wording had made you uncertain as to what had actually happened), and as far as you knew, he hadn't yet gotten any replacement. What if Phinks had also lost his set on this assignment, and now they were both stuck on the front porch, getting more and more pissed off at you the longer you kept them waiting?

… You weren't sure how likely that was, but now that it was a possibility in your mind, you needed to at least check to make sure that wasn't the case.

Treading carefully for fear of causing the hardwood floor to creak, you approached the front of the house. There weren't any windows on the door or next to it, so the only way to look out was through the peephole, which was convenient if it was someone random looking for directions (which you really hoped it was).

You peered through the small hole in the door-

And caught only a glimpse of someone walking just out of sight.

Someone taller with blonde hair and wearing green.

Oh god oh god oh god oh god

Your mind told you it was Phinks and it hit you immediately just how bad it would be when you opened that door. First the call this morning and now this.

Tears were already welling up in your eyes as you scrambled to undo the locks on the door. Didn't matter that you didn't realize it was them. Literally the only thing you could do was open the door right now so your punishment wouldn't be quite as bad.

Twisting open the last lock you all but threw open the front door.

For a moment, time seemed to stop as you realized your mistake.

The person on the front porch wasn't Phinks.

Wasn't even a man.

A blonde woman in a green jacket turned when you opened the door. For a brief moment you saw a look of relief in her expression, but when her eyes landed on you, it switched to confusion.

“Uh, hello,” she said to you, her tone uncertain. She looked you over and you swore she seemed disgusted at the sight of you. Did you look like that bad of a mess? Was she just the kind of woman that automatically hated other women? Or was there some other issue she had with you that you weren't aware of or couldn't control?

“You Dario's new girlfriend or something?” she asked, an eyebrow raised.

You stayed silent.

You didn't know how to react.

When was the last time you had spoken to someone other than your captors? You weren't sure that you even knew how to hold a conversation with anyone other than those two.

That wasn't your biggest problem, though.

Your biggest problem was that you had broken an important rule: to never answer the door.

What would Feitan and Phinks do to you for that?

“What's wrong with you?”

The woman's words brought you back to reality. You'd begun to cry without realizing it, and the contempt she held for you only seemed to be increasing.

“Hello? Can you even talk?”

“S-sorry,” you mumbled.

Another rule broken.

“Okay,” she huffed, “I just want to talk to my brother. Could you go get him?”

You stared at her for a moment before shaking your head. That just made her annoyed.

“Seriously, I am not in the mood for this,” she said, “I want to talk to Dario.”

“No one.... There's no one h-here by that name,” you replied.

“Yeah right. He's been ghosting me and the rest of us and I'm sick of being ignored so I'm here to find out why. Get my brother out here now, or I'll come in there and get him myself,” the woman told you, the anger intensifying the longer she stood there.

She let out another exasperated huff, and in your mind, the movement she made told you that she was preparing to just push past you and go in.

…. You couldn't imagine what kind of punishment there would be for you if someone entered the house.

“O-okay!”

You tried not to yell that out, but that was the way the word came out when you motioned for her to stay where she was. And it certainly didn't endear you to her at all as she sent another unsatisfied look your way, but she stayed where she was. It seemed like there was some attempt at keeping herself calm as you closed the door.

But she noticed when you twisted the lock back shut and began to put the bolts back.

“Did you just lock me out?”

She hadn't even finished speaking before you were racing towards the back of the house. There were three other doors aside from the main entrance: two that lead to the backyard area and one that lead out to the garage, and you needed to make sure all of those were locked as well. Then came checking the windows and closing the blinds. She caught you when you were at a window in the front of the house, and she was more aggressive as she asked what was wrong with you and why you wouldn't let her talk to Dario. You truly had no idea who that was and ignored her as best you could before you went back to the front door where you made sure that she couldn't get in that way. After all of that, when you were certain that she wouldn't be getting inside, there was nothing you could do except wait for her to leave. You sank to the floor as you heard her call out to you, occasionally banging on the door as she demanded that you let her in. You put your hands over your ears and tried to block out some of the noise she was making.

That woman didn't give up easily, pounding at the front door and kicking at it once or twice in frustration. Worst case scenarios began to play in your head; what if she got desperate and angry enough that she went as far as to break a window in order to get in? There was some furniture in the backyard area that was largely unused, and if she went back there to check things out, would the idea cross her mind? Would she take it that far? What should you do if it were to escalate that much? Barricade yourself in a room until this woman calmed down?

And what fate would even be awaiting you if Feitan and Phinks came back to such a scenario?

Luckily it didn't come to that, and all she did was yell a bit more about how you had no right to treat her that way, all the while hitting her fist against the door over and over.

Eventually she managed to run out of steam, and after things quieted down, you peeked out behind one of the blinds at the front. She was storming her way back to a silver car parked in the driveway. Despite how you tried to move the blinds aside with minimal movement, she still noticed you looking out at you and you saw her mouth the word “freak” before she slammed her car door shut and sped off down the driveway, rushing past the splintered stump of a tree and leaving tire marks on the pavement while the rubber screeched.

When the car was completely out of sight and quiet returned to the house, you sank back down to the floor in relief.

She was gone.

For now at least, the threat of a stranger breaking into the house was over. Your situation was still far from good, but now that you didn't have someone making so much noise, hopefully you could calm down and compose yourself. But even with that woman gone, it was hard to do when you knew you'd be in trouble later.

Feitan and Phinks would be so mad.

When you opened the front door to assess any damages, you found a fair amount of dark marks at the bottom of the door. Probably from the times she had kicked at the door. You didn't think you'd be able to clean that up. And even if you managed to remove all of the physical evidence of that woman's time here, they'd still know that something had happened.

You didn't trust yourself to be able to keep it from them – somehow those two had a sixth sense when it came to you doing something wrong. They could just tell whenever you were guilty, and lying to them after they accused you only made things worse.

Opening the door for that woman, though.... Would they think that you were trying to get her to help you? To get you away from them? Would they believe you if you told them it was just a stupid mistake? Maybe if you told them that it was because you were stupid they'd go easier on you.

….. No. You were in for it. There would be no mercy.

The best thing to do would be to confess immediately when they came back and take whatever punishment they felt was fair. If you accepted it without complaint then they might be a bit more lenient on you.

Eventually you fell back down onto the couch, looking at the screen with your movie that was still paused. You hit the play button again to try and distract yourself, but you found that you couldn't pay attention, your thoughts going back to what would happen to you.

Eventually you turned it off and curled up into a ball on the couch, just trying to think about things that were a bit more comforting.

Feitan had patched you up, going so far as to fashion a splint for you before wrapping your wrist so the bones could heal properly. And he had done all of that with a care that you hadn't thought him capable of.

Afterwards he had settled down on the couch next to you, and as if to go against what you had just thought about him being gentle, he yanked you by your shirt so you were laying on your side, your head in his lap. You tensed up immediately, and Feitan smacked you on the head for it.

“Relax,” he told you.

You did your best to do that, though it was a somewhat slow process for the tension in your muscles to lessen. Still, Feitan was being remarkably patient with you. Was this really a situation where even he felt that Phinks had gone too far? That was a first.

A thought came to you, something that you should've said immediately after Feitan had wrapped up your wrist.

“Thank you, Feitan,” you whispered.

He just made a noise that sounded like a grunt.

You weren't expecting much more than that and just tried to calm yourself down further while he kept your head in his lap.

When you felt him shift slightly, you prepared yourself for what you were certain would be an order to get off of him. Instead, you felt his fingers brush over your head, stroking through your hair in small movements.

…. Was he.... Petting you?

Was this his way of trying to comfort you?

The thought was rather jarring, and maybe it was presuming too much, but it was certainly significant that he was going to such lengths.

You figured it'd be weird to say anything about it, so you kept your mouth shut while Feitan continued to stroke your hair.

The whole thing felt a little surreal. For the first time, you were in a situation where Feitan was on your side and Phinks was the odd one out.

No, that was wrong, you thought to yourself. Feitan wasn't on your side. Even if he and Phinks had disagreements from time to time, they were ultimately always going to be on the side of each other. The fact that Feitan hadn't bothered to intervene when Phinks was shouting at you earlier was proof. All of this was just happening because Feitan clearly thought that Phinks had been overreacting by breaking your wrist.

No matter what, it was always going to be you against them.

The only thing you could do to make it easier was to try to make them happy as best you could.

About a half hour went by before you heard the front door open again, and you unintentionally stiffened when Phinks' footsteps sounded as he walked back in. Feitan's hand stayed on your head while his other rested on your shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly.

Was that done to try and keep you calm? Or was it a warning to not freak out?

You didn't look at Phinks when he came into view, instead keeping your eyes on your broken wrist that was resting on Feitan's leg in front of your face. You could sense a look being exchanged between the two men, and though part of you wanted to know if you could figure out the silent words that were being exchanged through the two of them, you continued to keep your eyes averted.

No one said anything for several moments, but the silence broke when Phinks sighed.

He sat down on the edge of the couch right next to you, and your eyes met when you finally looked up at him.

“.... Sorry,” he mumbled.

You didn't say anything, though you knew that some sort of response was needed, otherwise the trouble would start all over again.

Slowly, you reached out to him with your uninjured hand. He took your hand in his, giving it a light squeeze as you saw his shoulders relax. Feitan began to stroke your hair again, and it seemed as if the two of them were in some state of contentment.

It was odd, to say the least.

The day turned into night and despite all of your attempts to calm yourself down, you just managed to work yourself up again as it got darker and darker outside. They would know. They would know and they would hurt you for it.

It seemed like it was the inevitability of it all that was the most upsetting to you. That there was literally nothing you could do and you just needed to accept it, as difficult as that was.

If only you had some kind of ability to go back and keep yourself from opening that door, then you could've truthfully told them that you hadn't done anything wrong.

You were on full alert when you heard the sounds of a car driving up in the late hours of the night. When you heard the engine stop and a set of car doors open, you stood at the end of the entryway, your hands fumbling with the edges of your clothing as you waited for whoever it was to come to the door. The stress had killed your appetite so you were shakier than usual.

It briefly crossed your mind that it could've been that woman again, but the voices you heard from beyond the door confirmed that it isn't. You couldn't hear what they were saying exactly, but you could tell who they were.

You had taken all of the bolts off of the door in anticipation for their arrival, so when you saw the main lock turn on its own, you inhaled when the door opened after.

This time it was them. Phinks and Feitan, finally back from their job with the troupe. With the way their bags had been slung over their shoulders and the slight bit of tiredness you could see in them, it looked to be a fairly average scene; just two men who were tired after a long trip out of town.

Though most people's trips didn't have them murdering other people.

Their eyes were on you in an instant, and with the way their gazes narrowed when they saw you, your worries had been confirmed: they could tell something was up. And they didn't waste any time before questioning you.

“Hey there, babe,” Phinks said, his tone serious, “got something to tell us?”

You nodded.

“Okay. Get it out, then.”

They didn't look angry yet. Right now they were waiting on you, waiting to hear the full story before they decided how much you had fucked up.

“I did something,” you began, “something really really really dumb.”

They didn't say anything. You weren't sure if offering up your thought process would be seen as making an excuse, so you decided to just say what had happened.

“I opened the door to someone I shouldn't have.”

You couldn't look at them, instead looking down at the floor. It meant that you had no idea how they were taking that information, what their reactions might be, but you didn't want to see when they inevitably became angry with you.

“... Is there a reason why you did that?” Phinks eventually asked.

You sensed the way Feitan looked up at him, likely believing that whatever the reason was, it didn't matter.

“I made a stupid mistake,” you said, “she was knocking at the door for a while and I was worried that it was you two, and when I made it to the door she moved and looked enough like you that I thought it was you, Phinks. I thought maybe you had lost your keys or something and I didn't want you two to be locked outside.”

“... Yeah, that is pretty stupid,” Phinks agreed, “I told you we'd be back by the nighttime, right? And if we did get locked out, don't you think we'd call for you to let us in?”

That thought hadn't even crossed your mind, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you continued to apologize.

“I'm – I just – I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.”

“Were you thinking?” Feitan asked, his tone condescending.

It wasn't a question that you were meant to answer; he was just annoyed with you and was trying to put you down.

And it worked.

“I'm sorry,” you repeated.

Feitan tsked at you, and then nothing was said for a while. Eventually when you glanced up, you found that Feitan looked annoyed, but Phinks looked a bit more pensive, and he was looking at you and the open front door, specifically looking at the marks on the bottom.

“What happened with this?” Phinks asked.

Feitan interrupted before you could answer.

“Doesn't matter,” he said.

“I wanna know. Let her talk, Fei.”

A glare was exchanged between the two before Feitan seemed to concede, angrily looking back towards you as he tsked once again.

“She tried to get in,” you explained.

“She?” Phinks asked.

“The woman who I opened the door for. She said she was looking for someone – ah, I think she said his name was Dario?”

“Dar – Oh. That guy,” Phinks said more to himself, then he turned to Feitan as he continued “I thought we took care of everything with that.”

Feitan shrugged.

“Sh-she said that she was here to see him, and she didn't believe me when I said that person wasn't here,” you continued, “I needed to lock her out, and.... She got upset.”

“What, she tried to break in?”

You nodded without really thinking about it.

“Seriously?” Phinks asked, sounding incredulous.

“She was banging on the front door for a really long time,” you said, “she was yelling a lot, too.”

Was that an exaggeration? But everything you were saying was technically true, right? Although you couldn't say for certain that she was actually trying to break in, she'd been aggressive enough that it wasn't too much of a stretch to assume that she could've gone that far.

Maybe.... Maybe if you made the woman sound worse, they wouldn't be as mad at you. You doubted that they would forgive you completely, but maybe if you played up what she had done, they might be more concerned than angry. Both of these men had claimed to care about you in their own odd ways; surely if you made it seem as though you'd been in some sort of danger, the matter of you doing something you shouldn't have might be overlooked.

“... You've been crying,” Phinks eventually said, “is that because of her?”

You nodded.

“She really freaked you out that bad?”

You nodded again, and then you said something else without think it through completely.

“She th-threatened me.”

“With what?”

Phinks still sounded serious, but there was some emotion to his tone. But whether he was becoming angry for your sake or just angry at you wasn't certain yet.

The movie you'd been watching came to mind and you added to your story.

“She was at the door for so long, and she just got angrier and angrier, and eventually she told me that she'd come in and break my leg for keeping her locked out. That she'd make sure I'd be crippled for life. And just.... Being alone while I needed to listen to all of that was terrifying. I didn't know what to do, and I was so scared she'd break in and actually do that.”

You were crying now from the stress of the situation, from desperately wishing that they would buy your story. You glanced up at them as you tried to gauge their reactions. Phinks didn't seem upset anymore, and he looked as though he wanted to believe you. But Feitan.....

He was looking at you with suspicion. Like he didn't believe what you were saying.

Instinct made you look away from him, and you wanted to kick yourself for that. That reaction only reaffirmed what he thought about you, right?

Still, he wasn't saying anything. And he stayed quiet when Phinks set his bag down and walked towards you. The blonde man looked sympathetic when he lifted your chin up, and used his thumb to wipe away some of the tears that were dripping down your cheeks.

“Sounds like that was some crazy bitch you needed to deal with,” he said, “I'm sorry we weren't here for you.”

Feitan scoffed.

“Really?” he asked, not sounding nearly as understanding as Phinks was currently trying to be.

“Someone tried to get in while she was alone, Fei,” Phinks told him.

“The door was opened.”

“Yeah, I know. I'm not happy about that either and we'll get to that, but that's not important right now.”

“And what is?”

“Christ, Fei. At the very least we need to make this place more secure. What if that bitch got in and hurt her?”

“Wouldn't be a problem if door wasn't opened.”

“If she was unhinged enough to threaten to break in then it probably wouldn't have mattered-”

You didn't dare interject while the two were having a disagreement, so you tried to keep any noises to a minimum as the scene played out.

Amidst the squabble that your captors currently found themselves in, you glanced past the two of them and spotted a pair of headlights that drove into view and turned onto the driveway.

The limited light outside made it hard to see, but the car looked to be silver in color.

Oh no......

When the car stopped and the familiar figure of a blonde woman stepped out, you started to have a hard time breathing while you began to feel lightheaded from the new wave of panic that set in.

Why? Why did she come back?

Phinks and Feitan had noticed the car before you did, but they'd been too wrapped up in their disagreement to give it much thought at first. But they quieted when they noticed your reaction, the way your tears began to flow harder as you were hyperventilating, your breathing coming out short and panicked while your hands went up to your mouth in some kind of attempt to keep those noises in. All because of the sight of a random woman making her way to the front of the home.

Your reaction surprised them more than anything, as both men could only recall you acting like that whenever you had really messed up with them and were about to go through some harsh punishment of Feitan's making.

And when the two of them turned to see the rather unremarkable woman who was walking towards them in a huff, it confused Feitan while it enraged Phinks. In Phinks' mind, the things that you said this woman had done had caused you so much distress that just the sight of her was sending you into a panic, and both the way you were acting in response to seeing her and the words the woman spoke to you all had him believing you without any doubts.

“I don't know who you people are, but I'd like some fucking answers,” she announced in a loud voice, sending a glare your way.

“Literally all I want is to know where my brother is and why you people are in his house.”

You wished that you had it in you to say something. To tell her to run back to her car and drive as far away as she possibly could and never come back to this area.

To tell her that these two were the last two people in the world anyone should approach with such an attitude.

But the solid lump in your throat kept you from saying anything.

“You're the one who made our girlfriend cry?” Phinks asked. He had turned away from you, keeping you from being able to see his face. His voice was surprisingly calm, and that only scared you more. Phinks only ever got into that mode of quiet rage whenever he was really upset.

The woman made a face as she looked over the three of you, repeating “our girlfriend?” with a healthy bit of disgust in her tone.

That Phinks had allowed her to get out even those words was unexpected. He wasn't a man who needed a reason to kill a person, and yet he had seemed to be waiting for her to say something that would give his next actions some justification.

As soon as she finished speaking a loud cracking sound echoed in the night air, and suddenly the woman was screaming as she fell to the ground, the bones in her leg splintered and sticking out of her skin. A single kick from Phinks had been enough to reduce her to that state, desperately crawling back on her hands as she tried to reach her car.

“Wrong fucking house to come to with a shit attitude and threats.”

It didn't seem like she heard him; the pain her leg was in was probably too much for her to be able to focus on what he was saying.

“I'm really fucking pissed, you know,” he said to her, “all I want to do when I get back after a job is to just sit back and relax. I don't wanna deal with some goddamn harpy making threats against what's ours.”

She continued to crawl back desperately with her arms, looking away from Phinks and to her only hope of escape.

Didn't seem like there was much chance that she would deny any of what he was saying.

Although even if she did protest, he seemed far gone enough that you doubted he would believe her.

But that could change if you were pressed further on the subject.

Your panic upon seeing her had been brought about not because you were afraid of her, but at the horror of realizing the fate you had given her. Of all the times to have the worst luck imaginable, it had to happen when you were using this woman as a scapegoat, and she came storming up to two A rank criminals after you'd lied about her threatening you.

Because of you, she was dead before she even spoke.

And after directing his rage towards her, you didn't want to know what how Phinks would respond if he found out that you'd been lying about the more egregious points.

Feitan had stayed quiet, watching as Phinks stepped on the woman's leg and put pressure on her wound with his foot, halting her escape while making her cry out again as he looked down on her in disgust.

Glancing over to Feitan showed that he seemed to be enjoying the scene at least somewhat, as you saw approval in his eyes while Phinks intentionally made her pain worse. Both of them made you want to run away to some corner of the house and try to drown out the sounds of her screaming in whatever way you could.

But you willed yourself to stay rooted to that spot. To stay and watch what you had done.

And for what would likely happen to the woman, you deserved much worse than that.

After several unending moments of torture for the woman, Feitan finally spoke up.

“Phinks.”

“Hm?”

“Not here,” Feitan said, gesturing with his head as he said “downstairs.”

“Ah. Right.”

Feitan's words seemed to snap him out of the mode he had been in, and as Phinks grabbed the woman by her neck he seemed a bit more like his usual self, even smiling at you as he dragged her in.

“Don't worry; we'll take care of this,” he told you, “you just sit tight for us up here, okay?”

After you gave him a shaky nod, he continued towards the basement door, swinging it open before he dragged her down the steps. She looked at you desperately, her eyes wide as they passed you, and you heard the pained, gurgling noises she made every time her leg hit one of the stairs.

Feitan followed after, glancing towards you as he told you “clean this up.”

He was referring to the red stripe of blood that had come from her leg as she'd been dragged across the floor, a trail that started at the front and lead to the door of the basement. Earlier during the day you had made sure to clean everything, including the floors in preparation for their arrival, and in less than ten minutes of them returning you needed to re-clean it.

The sound of feet on the basement stairs ended and were soon enough replaced by the screams of the woman, all the while you tried to distract yourself by doing as Feitan had told you and wiped the floor before the blood left any lasting stains.

The front door was still open, and when you looked outside, you saw that woman's silver car still parked at the end of the driveway. The headlights were still on and from the sounds of it, the motor was still running.

At a different point in time you would've thought that it was the perfect opportunity to escape. That you could take the car and drive as far away as possible, maybe to get to the police or to attempt to leave the country entirely, and the two of them would be distracted and wouldn't notice you were gone until too late. That you could finally be free of claustrophobic feeling of being under one roof with those men and restart somewhere else, somewhere far away from Phinks, Feitan or anything remotely to do with mass-murdering psychopaths.

But you knew better now.

For one thing, you doubted that you would even be able to back out onto the road before one of them realized something was wrong, much less be able to make it anywhere to get some kind of help before one or both would drag you back. And with their current moods, the last thing you wanted to do was to point their anger towards you.

All that scenario would bring you was torture under the guise of “punishment” and getting whatever innocent bystanders you might run into killed.

And after what you had done tonight, the least you could do was not start up a body count.

So you shut the door and locked it.

Not twenty minutes later Phinks came back up to find you curled up into a ball next to the couch, hands over your ears as you tried to block out the screaming that had continued even after you had ensured that the floor was spotless.

You flinched when he put his hand on your shoulder and he raised a brow at you.

“You're still this jumpy?” he asked, and you swore you could hear the slightest bit of agitation in his voice.

“S-sorry,” you mumbled, wiping at your cheeks and trying to come up with something to say while he knelt down next to you.

“With all the things that she said to me,” you continued, “j-just h-hearing her voice is upsetting.”

“I know. She's definitely some type of psycho,” Phinks said, sighing as he rubbed at your back.

“But we're taking care of it now, so you don't need to worry about her anymore.”

You nodded, but inwardly, you feared the things she could say to them. Feitan was a master at forcing the truth out of people. If he prodded her for more information on what had happened between the two of you....

The stress of what would happen if they found out that you lied to make them go easier on you was enough to make you feel like you could throw up, and as another scream traveled up the stairs to you, your hand went back to your ears, your nails digging into your scalp as you tried to keep the sound from reaching you.

The rage that had been flowing out of Phinks earlier seemed to have been put on hold for the moment. He sat himself down and pulled you into his lap, softly stroking your hair while you gripped his jacket with tightly clenched fingers and buried your face into his chest.

Oh god oh god oh god what the fuck was he going to do to you if he found out?

“What are you doing?”

Feitan's voice called out from the top of the basement steps, your eyes meeting his briefly when you glanced over to him. The dark material of his clothes it it somewhat, but there was definitely spatters of blood on him now.

The woman wasn't screaming anymore so much as she was just wailing.

“That bitch's voice is upsetting her,” Phinks told him.

You anticipated the response Feitan might have. Most likely to scoff and call you pathetic. Maybe tell you to get over yourself and that you had seen and heard worse before this night. And at worst case, maybe that information would irritate him enough that he would force you downstairs so you could watch what he and Phinks were doing to her.

When his eyes went back to yours, you were internally begging him not to go that far. To just stick with the petty insults and not force you to see anything else tonight.

You held your breath when you heard him speak.

“Shall I slice her vocal cords for you?”

….. Huh?

You stared at him dumbly for a few moments, unsure of how to answer. It didn't shock you so much that he spoke so casually about committing an atrocity like that, but what did was the fact that he was willing to do so on your behalf – for your benefit.

It was the first time Feitan ever bothered throwing some consideration your way when it came to him torturing people – he'd always just let them scream their lungs out and then mock you for the state you were in after.

It also wasn't lost on you that if he did go through with that, your chances of them not finding out your lie went up by a great margin. But were you really going to say yes to such a thing?

Feitan began to glare at you as he grew impatient, sharply telling you “answer me.”

Phinks also shook you slightly, as if to get you out of your stupor that way.

With the weight of both of their gazes on you, you slowly nodded.

That didn't satisfy Feitan.

“Out loud.”

Fuck

“Yes.”

Your voice was barely above a whisper, and you felt the bile rise in your throat after you answered.

How the fuck had you fallen so far?

As soon as you spoke, it looked as though Feitan was smirking. The bandanna kept you from being sure, but his eyes crinkled in a way that only happened during those rare times that he would smile.

Without another word he turned and went back downstairs.

You turned back so you could rest your face against Phinks' chest, and his hand returned to stroke your hair.

The two of you stayed like that for only a few moments before Phinks adjusted you so he could pick you up.

“Come on. Let's get off the floor.”

During the time he picked you up and laid you down on the couch, the wailing stopped.

After the night he broke your wrist, Phinks had taken to comforting you in the same way he had seen Feitan doing: having you lay your head down on his lap while he ran his fingers over your hair. You weren't sure if seeing you and Feitan like that had some kind of impact on him, or if he was just copying what he had seen because he assumed that it was the easiest way to calm you down.

By now it had gotten to the point where it did just that.

You shouldn't find comfort in either man's touch, especially with all that they had done to you and what you'd seen them do to other people. But when you had limited options on people that you were able to interact with who could give you any sort of gentle touch, and when the alternative was dealing with them being upset with you, you had forced your brain to rewire itself and be accepting of them both whenever they wanted to be nice to you.

You heard Phinks let out a soft hum as he felt the stress leaving your body, your muscles relaxing as your heartbeat managed to calm down.

“See. It's alright.”

You nodded.

Your relief had come when you stopped hearing her voice, both because the sound was so distressing, and because you now felt secure. She couldn't talk anymore. And with no easy way to communicate, she wouldn't be able to deny any of your more serious claims if questioned.

You simultaneously felt relieved and disgusted with yourself.

You hadn't meant for her to die. You just wanted to make your captors feel a bit sorrier for you so whatever punishment you received wouldn't be so harsh. You'd fucked up, but after all that you had been through in living with them, you had just wanted a little bit of a break. To not need to go through hell just because of a dumb accident.

But even if that woman had been unpleasant, you couldn't justify that break coming at the expense of her life.

You lifted off of Phinks' lap slightly when you heard Feitan walking back up the stairs, looking over when he once again stood at the top. There was a bit more blood on him now.

“She still alive?” Phinks asked.

“Mostly,” Feitan answered before he looked in the direction of the front door.

“Car's still there.”

“Ah, yeah. I'll take care of it,” Phinks answered, gingerly pushing you off of his lap as he stood up. As he left he called out “be back in a bit.”

And now you were alone with Feitan.

He was watching you again, seemingly waiting for you to say something. But what were you even supposed to say in this situation? Ignoring Feitan's ruthlessness, this was one of the biggest reasons as to why you dreaded being alone with him: you had no idea what he wanted.

You sniffled a bit, wiping at your cheeks to make sure there weren't any more tears.

“She really said all that?”

For once, his tone wasn't mocking, and you nodded shakily.

“You're lying.”

That statement had your blood turning to ice in your veins and you felt another panic attack coming on.

Feitan walked towards where you sat on the couch, keeping his thoughts a secret from you. He'd been able to tell that parts of your story were true, but when it came to some of the more dramatic aspects of it, he was able to spot the lies. The way your eyes had moved about, your body language; all of it was so obvious that he was amazed Phinks hadn't caught it.

He stopped in front of you, and you found yourself looking up at him. From what you could see of his face, his expression was remaining level. You had no clue what he was feeling in this moment.

But he had to be angry, right?

“I know you,” he said, “so don't waste effort trying to lie.”

It was all for nothing, and you hung your head low as you accepted your fate.

“.... What are you going to do to me?” you eventually asked.

“Nothing.”

….

….. You heard that wrong. One hundred percent, you had heard that wrong. There was no way he was letting you off the hook.

“Punishment will still come for opening the door, but I won't tell Phinks about the lies.”

When you looked up he seemed to be smirking at the confused expression that was now on your face.

Why?

Why would he do that?

You couldn't understand, and you told him as much.

“Why wouldn't you tell him?” you asked.

“Phinks is feeling better now,” he said, “don't really want him upset again. And he'd be very upset if he found out you manipulated him.”

The statement started with some sort of care towards Phinks and ended with what seemed like a threat.

Feitan then pressed a finger to your lips, compelling you to keep them closed.

“As long as you behave, he doesn’t have to know. This can be our secret.”

The second statement had you reevaluating what you had just thought. It was a threat. Something for him to hold over your head and threaten to bring to light if he ever felt that you were behaving out of line. To set Phinks on you, essentially.

“I also don't mind having a new subject,” Feitan continued, “so it's a reward for helping me.”

Those words had you pulling a face, and he gave you a light smack on the head for it.

“Don't act like you're better,” he told you sternly, “you caused this.”

That was a low blow, and you hung your head in shame because he was absolutely correct.

He didn't say anything after, and when you glanced back up, you saw the familiar sight of his furrowed brows as he looked down at you, clearly annoyed.

Oh....

“Sorry Feitan.”

He still looked annoyed, but that seemed to have been what he was after as he reached his hand back out to lightly pat you on the head. After that he finally left the spot where he'd been standing before you, making his way back down to the basement. Probably to make sure that woman hadn't bled out or something.

You were alone again, and unlike before, it was silent. Just as it had been when they were gone. You hadn't realized just how quickly you would be grateful for the solitude. They hadn't been back for even an hour and you were already longing to have the house to yourself again. To be alone. Only a few hours earlier you felt like you couldn't stand another day of being alone, and now you were already wishing that they were gone.

But they probably wouldn't be leaving for a while, so you'd just need to navigate your way through life with Feitan and Phinks doing your best to not set them off. But this time you had Feitan's threat of Phinks' retribution hanging over you.

Sinking back into the couch, you made no move to return to your bedroom. It seemed smarter to stay where they'd last left you so they didn't need to go searching for you. You thought of the events that had happened, and once more wished you were able to go back in time to keep yourself from making up that part of your story.

With the way that woman had approached them, she would've been killed anyway. Coming up and immediately yelling at them guaranteed her death. If you'd just known that she was coming back, you wouldn't have added anything unnecessary like you did. You would've just told them the actual truth, and she'd have just ended up with a broken neck or her head flying off. Both terrible options, but better than what she was going through now. Then at least the guilt you felt over what she was going through wouldn't have been as bad.

If you just hadn't opened that door.

But there was little to be done about that now, and as you waited on the couch for the two of them to return, you thought of the way Phinks had stepped on the woman's leg after he'd broken it, and the way Feitan had watched with approval, and how all of this was apparently being done for your sake.

They brought out the worst in each other.

You brought out the worst in them.

And now they were bringing out the worst in you.

[eliemo]

Heart of Ice

Summary: Virgil quickly realizes the light sides had some kind of unspoken rule about touch. Which would be fine, if it didn't just apply to him.

TWs: Brief panic attack, touch starvation and mentions of its affects, self esteem issues, angst with a happy ending

Taglist:  @the-blue-recluse @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess (let me know if you want to be added)

Virgil got it. Really, he did.

He was the villain for a long time, an unwanted nuisance everyone hated, and understandably so. He would never hold any hostility against them, not when he knew he deserved it.

Now...maybe he wasn’t a villain. Still a nuisance for sure, but a tolerated one. He’d been getting closer with the other sides, Patton’s smiles more frequent and genuine, Logan taking a real interest in what he had to say, and Roman’s annoyance quickly turning to fond affection.

So maybe they were friends. Or they were getting there at least. Virgil knew he cared about them more than they would ever care about him, but that was ok. He wasn’t outright despised and that was more than he’d ever dreamed of.

Sure, their affection could just be to keep him from ducking out again since they’d found out how easily he could ruin Thomas by leaving, but...but he hoped it was more than that.

It was a mix of conflicting emotions and desires, Virgil never quite able to understand if anything was genuine or not.

But they didn’t hate him. That was the important thing. It would be selfish to want anything more when he was so utterly unlikable, right?

He needed to get over himself. It didn’t matter.

It shouldn’t be bothering him this much. It was completely understandable that they didn’t want to touch him.

But did they have to act like he was some kind of disease?

They were all touchy feely people. Roman and Patton hugged countless times a day, and even Logan would absentmindedly clap their shoulders or squeeze their hands in passing.  

Virgil watched them lean up against each other, lace their fingers together, pat each other's back in greeting and praise. It all came so naturally to them, clearly some kind of unspoken language in their little family.

And Virgil wanted that. He wanted it so badly it hurt. His chest squeezed whenever he saw Patton squeeze Logan’s hand, the loneliness crushing when Roman would pick Patton up in a crushing but safe hug.

Virgil...couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been touched. He’d grazed a shoulder in passing once or twice over the years, and he and Princey had accidentally held hands for half a second during a video, but other than that he came up blank.

And he’d definitely never had a hug. He knew that for sure. No one had offered one because...because why would they? Who would want to hug Virgil?

It was amazing enough that they were willing to be in the same room with him. All three of them were trying so hard to be friendly in the last few weeks since he’d told them his name and...it was incredible. It was like a dream.

But it was so unbearably obvious how careful they were not to touch him. Like he was something disgusting to be avoided. Like he would burn them, taint them beyond repair.

They would swerve out of his way when passing through a room to avoid brushing his shoulder, quickly pull their hands away if their fingers were about to brush his, carefully leaving as much empty space as possible if sitting beside him on the couch.

It went on for weeks, and it didn’t stop. No one commented on it, or bothered to avoid physical affection in front of him, and Virgil decided the best course of action was to try and ignore it.

If he brought it up, it would just turn into something awkward, and nothing would change. He’d rather just avoid the subject completely.

Virgil could handle that. He could ignore the ache in his chest and push down the thoughts of how desperately he just wanted a hug.

Everyone at least had the decency not to make it a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal.

Until...until it kind of was.

It had been a stressful few days for all of them, but obviously Virgil was taking the brunt of Thomas’s anxiety. They all knew that, and he appreciated how attentive and gentle they’d been with him lately.

Thomas was waiting on an important phone call, a confirmation that would give him a green light on his latest project they’d all been working non-stop on.

Virgil didn’t know the specific details of what they were waiting for, he’d lost himself to his panic immediately after hearing the words “important phone call” but he knew it was a yes or no answer, and that Thomas was incredibly anxious about it.

He and Patton were waiting in the mindscape’s kitchen, mugs of untouched hot chocolate sitting in front of them, Patton idly chatting to keep Virgil distracted.

And then Roman and Logan were suddenly rising up- the Prince with a dazzling grin on his face and Logan with a relieved sort of smile.

“He said yes!” Roman announced, and just like Virgil’s shoulders sagged, all the tension seeping out of his muscles. Thank god.

There were still more things to worry about now that the new project was actually underway. They would have to work out a new schedule, make sure they had enough time to perfect their scripts, and then of course there was the problem of nobody liking the finished product--

But that could wait. Right now...it was just nice to see everyone so happy.

Patton was already jumping up to give Roman a hug, reaching over to squeeze Logan’s hand, and Virgil quickly turned away before the ache in his chest, the feeling that longed for something similar could turn into the cold throbbing pain he occasionally grew familiar with.

He grabbed the mugs of now cooling hot chocolate to distract himself, smiling to himself as he tried to focus on the relief instead of the sorrow, and carried them over to the counter.

He set the mugs down, turned back around, and suddenly Patton was in front of him, pulling Virgil into the first hug he’d ever received in his life.

Virgil couldn’t breathe.

Patton was warm up against him, solid and comforting, arms wrapped around Virgil’s back like the softest thing in the world, and for just a second, for the first time, everything was perfect. Everything was ok, and the ache in his chest was gone.

It lasted less than two seconds, and suddenly Patton was pulling away like he’d actually been burned.

“I--”

Patton stopped whatever he’d been about to say, staring warily at a completely frozen, speechless Virgil. The warmth had seeped out of his body almost immediately, the ache returning with a vengeance, the want for touch even worse than before.

Logan and Roman were staring, eyes going from Patton to Virgil, tense and panicked like they were expecting some kind of violent reaction.

God, was touching him really that bad?

“I’m sorry,” Patton said quickly, glancing back at the others before turning back to Virgil, who quickly averted his gaze. “Sorry, Virge I wasn’t...I wasn’t thinking. I just got excited.”

“Right,” Virgil said, glad that at least his voice didn’t betray how it felt like his heart was crumbling. “I get it.”

“Virgil,” Patton said softly, and Virgil’s heart sank when he took a step back, putting even more space in between them. “I didn’t mean to, kiddo, I...it won’t happen again.”

Of course it wouldn’t. Virgil shouldn’t expect it to. They didn’t even want to brush shoulders with him, so why the hell would anyone ever hug him voluntarily?

“I know,” he said, already moving towards the doorway, grimacing when the others stepped away to give him extra space. He couldn’t help but feel a little bitter at how obvious all of it was. Come on, it wasn’t like he was infected. “It’s whatever.”

He stalked out of the kitchen, for the first time allowing himself to feel angry over this whole stupid thing. After weeks of tirelessly working to be better, after being accepted in every other way, they still wouldn’t…

He’d thought he was getting better. They’d called him family.

“Virgil?” Logan called, but Virgil ignored him, really not in the mood for any half-hearted excuses or lectures on why he should just be happy with what he got.

It was selfish to ask for more. He was greedy and awful and he would never really be one of them. He should know that by now and stop filling his head with fantasies that they might actually love him as much as they loved each other.

Virgil didn’t bother looking back to see if any of them looked even a little bit guilty. He pulled up his hood, hurried up the stairs, and locked himself in his room. It was probably where they wanted him, anyway.

Virgil collapsed at the end of his bed, head in his hands, well aware it probably looked like he was throwing a tantrum. They all probably hated him even more now.

But...but could they really blame him for being frustrated? Yeah, he didn’t expect them to be entirely comfortable around him, definitely not as physical as they were with each other, but he was really trying.

They didn’t need to make him feel like some walking virus.

Well. He’d gotten a hug, at least. His first and last real hug. He thought he might do anything to have that feeling again.

But no one wanted to hug Anxiety. Patton had said so himself- never again.

When Virgil allowed himself to be coaxed out of his room for dinner a few hours later, he noted with some sense of relief that the others seemed determined to pretend the incident in the kitchen never happened.

Good. While it didn’t undo how humiliated and disgusting he felt, the sooner they all forgot about it the sooner Virgil could continue ignoring how badly it hurt.

He shouldn't be upset. He needed to calm down and get over himself before he started causing issues.

He did, however, wonder if it was just his imagination that Roman’s chair seemed farther away from him today.

“So...movie night tonight, right?” Patton asked suddenly, voice chipper as he set down his fork. “I think we could all use some relaxation.”

“A splendid idea!” Roman exclaimed, and Virgil managed not to flinch at the volume of his voice. “You’ll be joining us right, Marilyn Morose?”

Virgil startled when the attention suddenly turned to him, suspicion and hope waging war at the soft encouragement in Prince’s voice.

Was this...a guilt thing?

“I- I mean I guess,” he said. “Maybe. If you like, want me to.”

He’d always known they did movie nights at least once a week, all cuddled up together on the couch, but Virgil had never actually been invited to one until he revealed his name. He’d attended a couple of them now, and they were...nice. Even if he always ended up on the armchair.

“Of course we do!” Patton said. “We always do. You’re our family, kiddo!”

Well, they certainly had a funny way of showing that.

Virgil quickly backtracked, pushing away his own dark thoughts. That wasn’t fair to them. Aside from the lack of any physical touch, they had welcomed him almost completely. In every other way, he was treated like one of them.

Besides, he’d clearly done something to warrant the unspoken no-touching rule. It wasn’t their fault he was too stupid to figure out what it was.

“You are a large part of the reason Thomas succeeded today,” Logan added, and Virgil felt a bit breathless at the praise. “You stayed vigilant and cautious, and made sure there were no mistakes. I’m very grateful for your assistance.”

Virgil ducked his head, surprised when glancing at the other two showed only kind smiles and honest appreciation in their eyes. They were...actually being serious. He’d done something right.

“It...it wasn’t...I was just--”

“Doing your job,” Logan finished for him. “And doing it quite well, I might add. As you usually do.”

It wasn’t anywhere near as intense as the feeling Patton’s hug had brought, but...but it was close, warmth spreading over his chest. Virgil let himself relax, and offered a small smile in return.

“Ok,” he said, because he still was absolutely useless when it came to voicing his thoughts. “Thanks. Uh, you...you too.”

He might have missed it if he wasn’t always so attentive to people’s body language (sometimes overly so), but Logan’s hand was suddenly moving forward like he was going to pat Virgil on the arm.

It never made contact, of course. Logan caught himself in less than a second, the logical side sitting up ramrod straight and quickly pulling his hand back to his lap.

He offered an apologetic smile, Patton and Roman quickly clearing their throats and turning back to their dinner plates, and Virgil was forcibly reminded where he stood.

He’d done what he was supposed to do, keeping Thomas safe and helping him reach his goals, but that didn’t just magically change things.

Right. No touching. But he could survive off nothing but words of validation and verbal affirmation. That was just as good.

Except…

Except between the accidental hug and the rush of anticipation that came with Logan almost putting a hand over his own, Virgil had never felt the longing for any type of physical touch so strongly in his entire life.

He’d gotten used to having nothing, to being alone, just periodic glimpses of the warmth he would always be left out of. He’d adapted to it, learned to live with the cold ache in his chest, and moved on.

And now...

Now it kind of felt like he was dying. Like the cold loneliness was wrapping around him, all powerful and suffocating, his breaths coming faster and faster--

Patton stood to begin clearing the table, and Virgil was moving before he even really processed what he was doing.

“I got it,” he said. He was trembling slightly, and he was almost positive they could all hear it in his voice. “I can do the dishes. I’ll do them.”

It was a stupid, stupid thought that had crept into his brain, but right now- as desperate as it was- it was the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.

Patton blinked, tilting his head like a confused puppy. “I- well thank you, kiddo but that’s ok, I think I--”

“I can do it,” he insisted. “You can- You can go relax, I- I got it.”

That was what he needed to do, right? He couldn’t be left feeling this empty and cold all the time. He would never give up what he had with the others but being this close to them all the time had awoken something in him. Nobody ever touched him and he couldn’t keep going like this.

He’d done well today. He’d been good and Logan had almost, almost set aside whatever personal bias they all had to touch him. It had been so close.

So obviously...obviously he wasn’t good enough. Not quite. He was still just horrible enough that no one could bring themselves to close the distance between them.

But that was ok. He could do better. He could be better. And if that didn’t work, then...well, then verbal praise was the next best thing, right?

Unfortunately, he must look even worse than he felt because Roman was suddenly reaching for Virgil’s plate, pulling it out of his reach.

For a second, Virgil thought about reaching for it under the small flare of hope that their fingers might brush.

“I don’t believe that is the wisest idea,” Logan said. “You’re clearly agitated and distressed. I recommend you wait on the couch while we clean up tonight.”

Virgil shook his head, though logically he knew the dirty dishes would end up slipping right through his shaking fingers if he tried to clean up right now.

But he couldn’t take the thought of just sitting on the couch, a useless hindrance they would only grow to despise more and more.

“I- I want to help--”

“Virgil,” Logan said. “Ever since you began regularly eating meals with us, there have been exactly three times you have not helped with the clean up. Two of those were because Thomas summoned you, and the other was due to your fatigue after a recent panic attack.”

“But I--”

“You have had a long day,” the logical side continued. “You’re exhausted, and you need to sit down before you end up hurting yourself. Nobody is going to be angry if you take a break today, Virgil. Please accompany me to the living room.”

And Virgil knew there was no way to argue with any of that. Not when Roman and Patton were nodding encouragingly. Not when Logan was motioning for him to follow and he thought maybe, maybe he would put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder to guide him into the living room.

He didn’t.

They both ended up on the couch, Logan counting out familiar breathing exercises to keep Virgil from hyperventilating. He did his best to focus on calming down, eyes cast stubbornly down to the ground.

There was a good couple inches of space between them, enough that Logan wouldn’t accidentally bump into him if he moved his arm too fast. Of course.

“I assume what happened earlier today has made you jumpy,” Logan said after a few moments. “I assure you, Patton really is sorry. Hugging you was never his intention, sometimes the others can just get...over excited when it comes to physical affection. Patton can’t always control himself.”

Virgil bit his lip, forcibly biting back tears that threatened to rise because this was really not helping. He understood that no one ever planned on hugging him, he didn’t need it shoved in his face all the time.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “I know.”

Despite everything, Virgil had actually managed to calm down a bit by the time the others joined them for movie night, Roman plopping down on the other side of Logan, Patton shuffling around to find the remote and set down popcorn bowls.

Virgil knew trying to leave would only invite more worried frowns and gentle questions he didn’t know how to answer (besides, he didn’t particularly like the thought of being all alone up in his room right now), so he just took a shaky breath and willed himself to stay calm, shoving everything aside for the moment.

And then Patton moved to sit down with the others, and visibly hesitated at the end of the couch.

There was plenty of room for one more person. It wouldn’t even be particularly cramped, not with the way Roman was already invading most of Logan’s space.

But, of course, it was just enclosed enough that it ran the risk of Patton’s leg brushing Virgil’s when he sat down.

Virgil stood up before Patton even had the chance to open his mouth and stalked over to the empty armchair, not bothering to hide his irritation. He might not blame them for it, but that didn’t mean he had to act happy about being so repulsive to everyone. 

“Aw, you don’t have to do that kiddo,” Patton said. “You can stay on the couch, I don’t mind.”

“It’s whatever,” he said, and it was like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over his head, the sudden distance separating Virgil from everyone else making him shudder, and his reply came out a lot more curt than he’d meant it to. “This is where you want me, right?”

Patton had lowered himself next to Logan and was peering at Virgil curiously, worried smile dropping to a slight frown. “You can sit wherever you want, kiddo. You know that.”

Virgil couldn’t stop the scoff that escaped. “Right. Just as long as it’s somewhere you won’t accidentally hug me again, right?”

The room was plunged into an uneasy silence. Great. He’d managed to make movie night awkward and the television hadn’t even been turned on yet.

“Kiddo, I--”

“It’s fine,” he said quickly, guilt coiling in his gut. “It’s...sorry. I didn’t- I know you didn’t mean to. Just...long day.”

“We’ve all had a long day,” Roman snapped, sitting up from where he’d been leaning against Logan, and Virgil inadvertently found himself wondering how that would feel. “There’s no need to be rude to Patton, Negative Nancy.”

He was the one being rude? Him? After weeks of them treating Virgil like he was contagious and not even bothering to offer an explanation?

“Right,” he muttered. “I’m the asshole. Like always.”

“Virgil,” Logan spoke up, clearly caught off guard by the sudden shift in tone, and Virgil deflated. “We...understand your uneasiness. But between the three of us, physical contact has become something of a habit. We have been careful not to extend that to you, but habits take time to grow out of. And mistakes will be made.”

And Virgil...Virgil was pretty sure if he didn’t get out of this room right now he was going to burst into tears. They’d never actually talked about this before. He’d never heard them acknowledge that it wasn’t just his overactive imagination.

“I get that,” he said, voice painfully strained. “I do, I’m...I’m not trying to fight I just- just...do you guys have to be so obvious about it?”

Virgil risked a glance up, all three of them staring at him now with some form of hesitant uncertainty.

Logan cleared his throat and echoed Virgil’s request. “Obvious?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “You guys don’t...I don’t get why you’ve all decided touching me is somehow the worst fucking thing in the world. I know...I know you won't touch me and it’s not like I blame you- trust me, I’ve met myself- but...you could at least maybe try not to treat me like I’m carrying the goddamn plague!”

His outburst was met with silence, the other side’s expressions unreadable, and Virgil’s heart sank when he realized his vision was becoming quickly clouded with tears.

He quickly started to backtrack. “I mean, I’m...sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to...it’s ok you guys. Really, it is. I get it, I’m...I’m Anxiety. Nobody wants...obviously you guys aren’t ever gonna--”

“Virgil,” Logan cut him off, and the logical side sounded...panicked? “I believe we may have had a very large misunderstanding. You...would you like us to engage in physical contact with you?”

Virgil hunched his shoulders, frantically blinking away tears. “I’m not...I’m not gonna make anyone...you don’t want to, and that’s fine. Really. I’m not mad, it’s ok.”

“Honey, no.” Patton sounded breathless when he spoke up, frantic. “That’s not it at all! We thought you didn’t want us touching you!”

Virgil froze, everything around him screeching to a stop, and for a moment he thought he must have misheard.

“I- you...what?” Why would they... how could they think that? He’d actually thought it was fairly obvious how badly he wanted it.

Roman stood up from the couch and crossed his arms. “Why on earth would we go out of our way to avoid touching you if it wasn’t to make you comfortable?”

Virgil blinked, suddenly completely lost. What the hell was going on? He’d thought they’d made their intentions pretty clear.

“I...why wouldn’t I want you guys to--?”

“Well, you certainly acted like it!” Roman snapped, and Virgil knew the Prince well enough by now to know he wasn’t angry, just stressed. “If you didn’t mind being touched, you wouldn’t act like we were trying to electrocute you every time we got too close!”

Patton reached up to put a hand on Roman’s arm, steadying him, but his gaze never left Virgil.

Virgil was starting to think this was all some kind of twisted dream his touch-starved mind had come up with, flipping everything around for the sole purpose of confusing him. This was...this was a joke, right? Some kind of excuse?

“What are you talking about?” he asked, ignoring how bad the tremble in his voice had gotten. “I didn’t...guys, it’s ok if you don’t want to touch me, I-I’m not gonna force you obviously, I just...never understood why it was a big deal. That’s all.”

Patton was shaking his head, hands moving to cover his mouth as Virgil spoke, and the moral side turned warily to Logan.

“Virgil,” Logan said. “We clearly could have...handled this differently. We’ve been purposely avoiding physical contact because based on your body language, we... I concluded that it made you uncomfortable.”

“It wasn't just you, Specs,” Roman said, his voice softer than when he’d been talking to Virgil. “We all clearly misunderstood. I- I still don’t quite...understand.”

The room was spinning, and Virgil did his best to blink away the dizziness washing over him, furiously wiping away a few stray tears that made their escape. He hoped no one noticed.

“I thought you just...didn’t want to. Because it’s...you know. Me.”

“Oh, kiddo.”

“What did I do?” he asked, suddenly terrified as to how he could have misread the situation so horribly for so long. “To...to make you guys think that?”

Logan blinked, his brow furrowing as he scrutinized Virgil from behind his glasses, and all three of them looked oddly confused by the question.

“I...Virgil, it’s been fairly easy to pick up on for some time now. Even before we learned your name.”

Patton frowned, taking a small step forward. “You got...really tense whenever someone would go to touch you, kiddo. Like you thought it was gonna hurt.”

“Earlier on, one of us moving like we planned on touching you would result in a flinch,” Logan added. “Later, as we got closer, we noticed you going very still. Like you were afraid. It wasn’t hard to avoid touching you before learning your name, but now…”

“We had to be more careful,” Roman jumped in. “Clearly that...wasn’t what you wanted.”

God Virgil was so stupid. This whole time he’d thought...for once he hadn’t even done anything wrong. And now all he’d managed to do was make everyone stressed and confused. He’d fucked everything up without even realizing.

They’d...they’d tried to touch him before? Before even learning his name? If he’d just been normal he could have avoided years of that cold, longing feeling settling in his chest?

He wondered if things would change now. Probably not, Virgil reasoned with himself, his throat tightening at the thought. He blew it. They’d just be upset with him now.

“I am...I am so sorry,” Logan said, and Virgil was having a difficult time following what was being said. “After getting to know you and your behavior patterns, I had concluded that your aversion to touch stemmed from sensory issues that can often relate to anxiety. Clearly, I should have asked you for confirmation.”

Logan sounded genuinely guilty, while Roman and Patton were looking at him softly. It wasn’t a big deal. He’d been wrong. They didn’t hate him, he’d just stupidly misunderstood their intentions.

But it was all cleared up now. It didn’t matter. He could suck it up and move on, just as long as he could keep the annoyingly persistent tears at bay for a little bit longer.

“It’s ok,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut and hunching over himself when his breath caught in his throat. “It’s...i-it’s fine.”

God, he was so pathetic. He was pathetic. Why would anyone ever want to touch him?

“Obviously it’s not, sweetie.” Patton was suddenly in front of him, kneeling in front of the armchair. “We didn’t mean to hurt you, Virge, but it’s ok to be upset with us.”

Virgil shook his head, voice refusing to cooperate with his racing mind. He quickly wiped at the fresh tears, refusing to fall apart over something so stupid.

The next moment happened in a frantic blur, but everything clicked into place when it was over.

Patton carefully reached forward, moving to rest his hand on the anxious side’s knee, and Virgil’s heart squeezed in desperation and hope for the gentle, grounding touch he’d never been able to experience before.

His body ended up reacting differently, completely against his will. He tensed up completely, wide eyes locking onto Patton’s hand, his breathing stopping completely.

Patton noticed, of course. His face fell at the reaction, and he quickly pulled his hand away.

Oh. Virgil supposed it did look like he was scared rather than desperate. “S-sorry. I--”

“Don’t be sorry, kiddo,” Patton said, but he sounded hesitant. Disappointed. “It just...seems like you’re uncomfortable.”

“It’s...it’s not that,” Virgil managed. His voice was horribly unsteady, but he needed them all to understand that it wasn’t them- he was just too useless to control his own reactions. “I didn’t even realize I...I just have never had it before so I don’t...I don’t know how to--”

“Wait a second,” Roman said, Virgil quickly snapping his mouth shut. “What do you mean you’ve never had it?”

They were all staring at him, probably baffled and annoyed by his inconsistent rambling, and Virgil curled tighter in on himself, his cheeks burning.

“I...I’ve never, uhm…” He suddenly didn’t want to say it, all too aware of how little it mattered. This conversation should have been over a long time ago. “I’ve never been...you know. I-I’ve never...done it.”

Great, now it just sounded like he was speaking nonsense. But the others seemed to have some idea of what he was talking about, judging by the looks they were suddenly throwing each other. Roman was the only one who eventually spoke up.

“You- are you just talking about touch?” The Prince demanded, and Virgil shrank back. “Virgil, you’ve never been touched? At all?”

Virgil shrugged, dropping his gaze to his lap. “I mean, yeah. Not...not really. Other than, um, other than Patton hugging me today.”

But he’d seen Patton hug the others, and he knew what he’d gotten could barely count as one. Not that he had any right to complain. He’d be lucky if they didn’t shun him for the rest of his life after today.

“I’m sorry,” he said when the silence stretched on far too long to mean anything good. “I know, guys. I know it isn’t a big deal, I’m really really sorry for making it one, I just--”

“Virgil.” Patton’s voice came out more choked, more anguished than Virgil had expected, and then…

And then there was a hand on his face, cupping his cheek and brushing away the falling tears, and Virgil couldn’t breathe in the best way possible.

Patton’s hand was warm, enough to startle Virgil out of his spiraling panic for the moment, but his breath still hitched when he met the moral side’s watering gaze.

“Virgil,” he said again. “Is it alright if I hug you?”

Virgil blinked, still partly convinced this was a dream, heart racing in his chest. He couldn’t find his voice, eyes glued to Patton’s, but he managed a tiny nod.

It all happened so fast- suddenly Patton’s hands were wrapped around his own, pulling him off the chair and onto wobbling legs, and then he was being pulled forward...

Oh. Oh.

He fell against Patton’s chest, his head resting in the crook of the moral side’s neck, Virgil’s legs threatening to give out beneath him when Patton wrapped his arms around him and held on tight.

Virgil was sobbing before Patton even started rubbing circles on his back, rocking them both gently, hushing him softly.

He had no idea if he was doing this right, practically limp in Patton’s hold. His arms were just uselessly hanging there, hands wracked with violent tremors. But even if he did know what to do, he doubted he could force his body to move right now, only able to melt into the embrace as the living room filled with his miserable sobbing.

“Oh baby, it’s ok.” Patton was talking softly, his breath warm against Virgil’s ear, and he finally forced his hands to move up and clutch the other side’s shirt. “It’s ok, you’re ok. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you now. You’re alright.”

There was another hand cupping the back of his head, running fingers through his hair, and he caught a glimpse of Logan pressing up against them both. The movements of his fingers were slow and precise, burning Virgil’s freezing skin like the most pleasant fire, his words of reassurances lost to the sound of desperate cries.

And then Roman was there too, briefly meeting Virgil’s eyes with a sad but hopeful smile, suddenly moving around to join in and hug Virgil from behind.

He quickly realized that this, as overwhelming as it was for his first time, was the single best feeling in the entire world. He was certain that he would crash to the ground in a trembling heap if the others weren’t supporting his weight.

Virgil had never felt so warm. The brief hug in the kitchen had been nothing compared to this. He couldn’t stop shaking despite it, overwhelmed and so, so relieved, wanting nothing more than to melt into the embrace and never let go. He could stay here forever, wrapped up in safety and warmth, the rest of the cold, lonely world forgotten.

But eventually he cried himself out, sobs dying down to hiccuping gasps as he fought to get a hold of his breathing. Patton and Roman loosened their grip, Logan’s fingers slowing, but none of them pulled away just yet.

Virgil took in a shuddering breath. “I’m s- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Patton said. “You don’t need to be sorry for a thing, kiddo.”

He clutched Patton’s shirt tighter, sucking in a breath when Roman moved to put a hand over his fist. “I- I thought y-you...you all--”

“We should have asked,” Patton said, pulling back enough to see Virgil’s face. “We should have realized you were hurting, honey. That’s our fault.”

“Not yours, Virge,” Roman agreed, leaning forward slightly to press his forehead against Virgil’s temple. “I can’t even imagine how isolated we must have made you feel. But that’s over now. We can fix this. We will fix this.”

“I do want to offer my sincere apologies,” Logan said. “We had all misread the behavior, but I was the one who enforced it after learning your name. I should never have jumped to conclusions so quickly.”

Virgil tried to shrug, but it quickly proved to be impossible with how tightly he was pressed against the others. He didn’t mind at all.

He wasn’t ready to let go yet, despite the way his stomach twisted at the guilt Logan didn’t deserve to be feeling, a dark part of his mind whispering that once he pulled away, the warmth would never come back.

“It’s ok,” he said, voice still raw and hoarse. “It was just a s-stupid misunderstanding, right? I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up, I- I know it’s not a big deal. It’s just a hug.”

It was a lie and they all knew it. Silly as it was, it meant the world to him. He would do just about anything to make this feeling last forever.

“Virgil, no.”

Patton was moving away, and Virgil felt a rush of blinding panic before Logan suddenly took his place, holding Virgil’s face in his hands, eyes wide and intense. Patton didn’t go far, his hand moving to clutch Virgil’s arm, and Roman only tightened his hold.

“It is not stupid, Virgil,” Logan said, tilting Virgil's chin up. “Not at all. I can assure you, it was far from an overreaction.”

“Logan--”

“Physical touch is essential for one’s mental health. Especially for those who experience heightened anxiety. I should have known... depriving you of any physical contact your entire life has left you incredibly touch starved, likely only worsening any symptoms you would naturally experience.”

Usually, Virgil found it fascinating listening to Logan, the way he so naturally took on a teaching position, spouting off information like he was reading from an invisible book.

Now, the dread and panic were clawing at his throat, and Virgil swallowed, forcing himself to speak. “Am I...am I hurting Thomas?”

The terror was overwhelming, doing all it could to convince him that the others would hate him, that Thomas would want him gone for good. But it didn’t last long, Logan shaking his head with an unbearably gentle expression.

“I am not talking about Thomas’s mental state.” He reached forward to brush away some of Virgil’s hair, looking oddly relieved when Virgil leaned into the touch. “I’m talking about yours.”

“Oh.”

Roman finally dropped his arms, but just like Patton he didn’t go anywhere, his chest still brushing Virgil’s back while he reached for one of his hands. Patton took his other one, both running gentle patterns over his knuckles with their thumbs.

Virgil felt like he was going to melt right here and now. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Since it seems you're comfortable with touch,” Logan said, and Virgil almost wanted to laugh. He was a little bit more than comfortable. “I’m hopeful we can undo any damage that has been caused. Tonight is already a good start.”

And that...that sounded amazing. It sounded more than amazing. It was all he’d wanted this whole time, years of bitter, icy cold loneliness already paling in comparison to the warmth and love he’d felt in the last ten minutes.

But...

“I...thank you. Thank you so much, but...I-I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t--”

“Kiddo,” Patton said. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to stop myself from hugging you?”

“All of us,” Roman added. “I’ve lost track of how many close calls I’ve had. I thought it was good you didn’t seem to notice how badly I wanted to, but...apparently not. But we love you, Virge. We love you so much.”

“We do!” Patton squeezed his hand. “We really, really do. You’re not forcing us into anything, kiddo. You’re family.”

Virgil kind of wanted to pinch himself to make absolutely sure this wasn’t a dream. But there was absolutely no way he could make up something this good.

“Ok,” he said, still wincing at how weak his voice sounded. “That’s...that’s good because I...I don’t think I could go back. Uh, to how it was. After...after all this. I-if this was just a one time thing, I don’t know what I’d do. And I know that’s dumb, this is literally my fault, but--”

“None of that,” Logan said, firm but not unkind, and Virgil fell silent. “This is far from a one time thing. I believe you’ll start having a hard time getting away from the hugs now.”

Virgil laughed, not really caring when it came out as more of a strangled sob. “I think I’m ok with that.”

“It’s still early,” Patton said. “You kiddos think we should take this to the couch? We can still watch some movies if you’re up to it, Virgil.”

As soon as he nodded, Virgil felt arms wrap around him again, one under his knees and one behind his back, lifting him up from the ground.

“Princey!” He wrapped his arms around Roman’s shoulders by instinct and froze, suddenly terrified he would be yelled at. But, he reminded himself, Roman was literally holding Virgil in his arms. Nobody found Virgil repulsive. “I can walk, dork.”

Roman grinned down at him, taking them both back towards the couch. Virgil found he really didn’t mind being carried when it ended up with him put down in the middle of the couch, still curled up in Prince’s hold with his head against Roman’s chest.

The others joined soon after, Patton grabbing the popcorn and sitting on Roman’s other side with his legs propped up on Virgil’s lap. Logan sat directly next to Virgil, his hand squeezing the anxious side’s shoulder before dropping his head to rest on Virgil’s shoulder.

Virgil shuddered, tensing against his will at the rush of sensations, but no one pulled away when he didn’t quite know how to reciprocate.

“Just relax now,” Roman said softly, pressing a kiss to Virgil’s hair while Patton got the movie started. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Virgil wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, only vaguely aware of himself drifting in and out of consciousness, still held safely by the others on the couch, an old familiar Disney movie playing in the background.

He thought his position might have been changed, but he still felt the rise and fall of Roman’s chest beneath his head, someone’s hand running gently through his hair.

For the first time, he felt safe upon waking up and let himself keep his eyes shut, breathing deeply.

“Is he asleep?” he heard Patton ask, the hand in his hair slowing for just a moment. “He really wore himself out today.”

“Indeed,” Logan agreed from somewhere nearby. “Not to mention a common side effect of touch starvation is difficulty sleeping, nightmares, stress, a lower sense of self worth, dep--”

“But he’ll be ok now,” Patton said, thankfully cutting off Logan’s worryingly accurate description. “He’s got us, and he’s my kiddo. He never has to feel that way again.”

“It will take some time. And eventually we will have to have a talk about consent and boundaries- I don’t ever want him feeling overwhelmed. But you are accurate, Patton. He has us now. He will be alright.”

Virgil had to force himself not to smile, not quite ready for this to end for the night. He knew eventually he’d have to head back to his room, but the thought of being alone again, even just for the night, was--

“I don’t want him to wake up alone,” Roman whispered, like he could read Virgil’s mind. “Is it alright if we stay here tonight?”

“Of course, kiddo.”

“I am perfectly comfortable where I am.”

True to their word, none of them seemed inclined to leave the comfort of the couch, the movie’s volume eventually turned down to a faded hum.

Virgil sighed, relaxed and content, letting himself smile as he fell back into the first truly restful sleep he’d had in a long time, followed closely by warmth and love.

[slasherhaven]

Hihi! How are you?

Since im a slut for cliches could i get some hcs of slashers reacting to their s/o (who never said i love you) saying "because i love you" in the middle of an argument? 😳🙏

The Slashers reacting to their S/O saying “I love you” for the first time during an argument:

Thomas Hewitt 

The argument probably stemmed from his frustration about his own feeling for you. Thomas doesn’t like fighting, especially with you, but everyone has moments were they let their frustration get better the better of them. He had been a little cold and distant, and that had been the reason for your argument. He knew that he loved you but just never thought that you could feel the same, he was angry at himself and he took that out on you. Which he would instantly regret.

He loves you too, so much, and he is so sorry. As soon as the words leave your mouth, Thomas freezes and his eyes widened. At first he thought that he had imagined it but he definitely didn’t. He instantly calms down because he can’t stay mad at anything when you’ve just confessed your love for him. He’s very apologetic for having argued with you in the first place and is quick to tell you that he loves you too.

Michael Myers

It earns you a glare. The look he gives you instantly shuts you up. Your confession had been accidental and now you worried that you had said the wrong thing and made him even angrier. In a way you did. He wasn’t angry at you exactly, he was angry with himself, and angry about the effect that you and your words had on him.

It ends the argument but he’s going to need some time to process. He’ll just leave, admittedly leaving you wondering if he was alright or if he was coming back at all. But he just needs a moment alone to process your confession, his own feelings, and what that means for him. He’ll return soon enough, not exactly apologetic but he isn’t angry anymore, he’ll even let you fuss over him when he gets back if you’re worried. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t say anything. It’s hard to tell how he feels about what you said but he was still here, so that was a good sign.

Jason Voorhees 

Jason hates arguing but it happens to everyone. Jason really hates arguing but he’s a person just like you and everyone argues at some point. He just already feels back about it, but then you had to go and tell him that you love him? Now he feels even more guilty because he feels that he’s been terrible to you, even if that is far from the truth.

Your words are both heart-warming and reassuring. Jason just melts when you tell him that you love him, even if it was with a sense of anger and frustration. You still said it and you still meant it. He also finds it reassuring because this just proves that even when you argue, you still love him. It’s fair to say that he isn’t mad anymore, he just wants to hold you. He’s very apologetic for the argument and expresses that he loves you too, so so much.

Brahms Heelshire 

Love is certainly away to calm Brahms down. Arguing with Brahms is a nightmare because he doesn’t listen and he feels a whole lot, so when he’s angry it’s difficult to bring him back down. But normally the best way to do this is hugging him, showing him some affection. This time, you had accidently confessed your love in the heat of the moment. And, well...that worked. He instantly paused and looked at you with widened eyes. All he wants if for you to love him, so he really hopes that you meant it and you weren’t just getting him to shut up. This isn’t how he thought he’d first hear those words from you but that’s okay.

“Did you mean it?” Brahms’ anger has completely left his voice, replaced with vulnerability. When you tell him that you did mean it, he’s wrapping his arms around you and burying his face either in your neck or in your hair. He loves you too! You’re almost in shock about how fast his attitude changed, but of course you return his embrace.

Bo Sinclair 

Well, it definitely shut him up. Arguments with Bo are pretty common, he often lets his anger get the best of him, but you had never found a way to get him to just shut up. This did it. As soon as he processed the words you just said, he froze, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“You really know how to pick your moments, don’t you?” that’s his way of telling you that he’s not mad anymore, that this argument is over, and he loves you too. But you never expected him to sincerely return the sentiment just yet, you knew it was something he struggled with. But he sighed, pulling you towards him, and kissing the top of you head. How about the two of you just forget about all that nastiness now?

Vincent Sinclair

Now he feels extra guilty about the argument. He already feels guilty whenever the two of you argue or whenever you seem upset about something. But now that you just told him that you love him, he feels even worse for making you feel bad and arguing with you.

He loves you too! He’s extra gentle and affectionate with you to make up for the argument, telling you that he’s sorry and that he loves you too. So, so, much. Expect a lot of cuddling after that, he just needs to hold you, comfort you and be comforted by you. He knows that the two of you will move past this easily, and he’s thankful for that.

Lester Sinclair 

It’s then that he realises he was taking out his frustration on you. He had a bad day, arguing with his brothers, and he hadn’t realised he was taking it out on you until you let it slip that you loved him. He instantly realised that he had messed up and wanted to make it better.

“Aw hell, I love you too. I’m sorry” Lester apologised, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. He really does feel bad. All he wants is to give you a hug and a kiss now but he knows that he had probably upset you and doesn’t want to do anything else wrong. But as soon as you hug him, he’s holding you close and kissing the top of your head. He won’t let this happen again, he’s so sorry.

Bubba Sawyer 

Arguments with Bubba are rare but everyone argues at some point. Oh he hates arguing so much, he hates confrontation of any kind, but he hates it even more when it’s with you. He hates that he feels the need to argue with you and he hates that he’s upsetting you. He just doesn’t know how to make it better either. Any anger or frustration that he did feel disappears when you blurted out “because I love you!”

Your words are met with surprise, and then a hug. He doesn’t care if you’ve just been arguing. Once he’s processed your words, he’s pulling you into a tight embrace and he babbles out apologies and his own confession of love. In his mind, everything is okay now, you can both move past one silly argument.

Billy Lenz

Billy freezes in surprise. Billy has moments when he can let his anger get the better of him but he usually goes to spend sometime alone when he’s feeling overwhelmed with emotion. This time it had started an argument though. Billy doesn’t take shouting well at all so you tried to not snap, advising him to just take some time and give himself some space. But he just kept going, eventually you did snap but saying “-because I love you, Billy!” It instantly makes him freeze, the raised voice nothing bothering him as much as it normally would because he was too focused on the actual words.

“Billy loves you too. Billy’s sorry” he knows that he should have gone off to calm down, he can’t blame you for finally snapping a little at him. But he loves you too and makes sure to tell you that as he pulls you into a clingy hug...he won’t be letting you go for a little while. He just went through a lot of emotions in a very short amount of time.

Asa Emory (The Collector) 

Doesn’t seem as surprised as you’d expect. Of course he already suspected how you felt for him, just from how you behaved and looked at him. So, your words don’t surprise him but the way that you’re finally confessing your feelings does a little. Of all moments, you chose an argument to blurt that out? It’s almost amusing.

Ends the argument. Asa collects himself and approaches you, cupping your cheek in his hand. It’s alright now, he understands. It’s always a little scary how he can go from threatening to comforting (or the other way around), but you appreciate it right now.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

He’s infuriating. Arguments with Jesse are absolutely infuriating. Normally he will just tell you how he feels, what his problem is, and then give you the silent treatment. That is, until you make him snap and he actually starts arguing with you properly, he get’s really frustrated is he can’t express himself fast enough, whether he’s using the phone or sign language, so he gets in a really bad mood. But finally you snap, accidently telling him that you love him, he’s pretty quick to collect himself. He needs to handle this better, he knows that.

He doesn’t want to be arguing anymore, especially now. It’s time to actually talk to each other properly, to apologise and work through it, because he loves you too. And he’ll tell you that.

Otis Driftwood 

“Why did you have to go and say a thing like that?” You had just been screaming at each other and now you’re telling him that you love him, even if it was accidental. He wants to stay mad but this made that difficult for even him.

He’s more focused on your confession than his anger now. God, he hates the effect you have on him. He hates that he can’t even be mad at you right now. But more than any of that, he loves you too. Hell, he knows that. And you really love him, you just told him so. He can’t even remember what the argument was about now, it was probably something stupid though. He’s still pretty grumpy as he puts an end to the argument, not actually apologising but you get the message. He’s more interested in hearing more about how you love him.

Baby Firefly 

She’s goes from angry to smiling, fast enough to give you whiplash. All anger just fades away because this is so much more interesting, she can be pretty erratic at the best of times, you’re getting used to it. Any arguments with her end pretty fast.

“Well why didn’t you just say so!” if that’s why you’re so worried about her and why this whole argument is happening, you should have just said something and all of this could have been avoided. She loves you too, silly!

Yautja (Predator) 

You’re arguing with him because you’re concerned for him? You had been arguing about him going on a dangerous hunt, you were worried about him getting hurt and he took it as an insult. Humans are still a little confusing to him, the way he saw it was that you didn’t think he could to it and that you were questioning his abilities, which obviously wasn’t the case at all. You just cared about him because you were in love with him, and that’s what you told him, it just slipped out.

Oh, little human, why didn’t you just tell him that? Like I said, he’s still getting used to all the confusing complexities that come with being human but he’s learnt what love means. He’s learnt that he has those feelings for you, he just hadn’t had a word for that feeling until now. He realises that your concern comes from a feeling of love and protectiveness rather than underestimating him, and that warms his heart. He tells you that he loves you too and promises that he’s going to be okay on this hunt, everything was going to be just fine.

[h2bakugou]

Hi! Can I please request some headcanons for Izuku, Katsuki, Shouto, and Denki with an s/o who doesn’t like getting into arguments and will always try to avoid getting into one with their boyfriends either by compromising and/or just throwing in the towel and just admitting that whatever their boyfriend said is right and it’s because they didn’t have a great home life growing up and want to avoid becoming like their parents and the boys finding out and their reaction to that? Thanks!

a/n: hiya!! of course hun! i did a similar argument hc a while ago, but this one is vastly different in a few ways!! thank you for the request love!!

headcanon: them reacting to their s/o’s refusal to argue with them

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: fluff, swearing, some angst, one mention of sky high, endeavor is trying™

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

izuku midoriya

»»————-　★　————-««

Surprisingly enough, there are a good number of times you’ve had an argument arise with Deku.

Not the ones where you playfully tease him about not sitting with you on the long trips you took as a class to places.

But the ones where you’d find him training for hours on end with no text or call to let you know that he’d be running late for a date, or a study session.

The ones where he’s so caught up in everything else that he doesn’t really make time to focus on your relationship.

Which wouldn’t be that big of a deal, had he just told you upfront that he was busy. But with the promise of always finding a way to make time for you, you were beginning to feel like maybe there was someone else, or maybe he didn’t really like you, like you thought he did.

But even when you were upset or angry, and Deku cornered you to talk about it, you’d shut him out and tell him it was fine, and that it really wasn’t his fault. It was yours for being so devoted to a relationship during such a serious time.

But Deku knew it was more than that.

Every time you seemed upset, or angry, or frustrated by something that seemed like something he’d done or may have had a part in, you always shut him down, telling him you’d get over it like an adult, and handle it.

“You don’t have to handle everything by yourself, let’s just talk about it, why are you feeling like this? You can talk to me, you know I’ll listen.” Deku’s comforting arms wrapped around you, preventing you from leaving this time around.

He’d spent maybe a few too many hours trying to learn some new moves and forgot that he was supposed to text you after the first hour to check up on you and your studies.

And when he finally came back after a shower, he realized you’d sent him a few texts asking if he was okay and if he was going to be done training soon.

“It’s fine, Izu’. I have some work I have to finish-”

“It’s not fine. I upset you, I’m sorry. But please talk to me. Why are you always trying to dismiss what actually happened?” Deku tried to capture gaze, only to find your lashes sprinkled with tears as you gave a shaky breath.

“I just don’t want us to end up like my parents. All they did was fight and argue.” You’d never really told anyone about that. Let alone anyone you’d been in a relationship with. 

In that moment, all Izuku could do was hold you closer, laying his head in the crook of your neck.

“I’m sorry. I should take your feelings into account when I make promises to you. I apologize for not keeping those promises.” Deku pulled back and looked into your eyes.

“And please don’t be afraid to talk to me. I know that’s scary to think about, but if I make you upset, just talk to me, we don’t have to scream or fight, we can have a civilized conversation together about something, and if you feel like we can’t, we can always have our friends help if you’re comfortable with that.” Izuku smiled softly, swiping his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe your tears away.

You pushed a small smile onto your lips, resting your face back on his chest as he held you close.

“I’m sorry too.” You apologized.

“Don’t be, it’s okay. Why don’t we watch a funny movie and relax? I can make us some popcorn!” Izuku was ready with some cheesy hero movie on hand, probably one about some superhero high school with a magical flying bus and a protagonist whose parents were the top heroes, a plot you’d begun to see more and more often these days with the progression of hero society.

“Sounds like a plan.” You giggled.

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

Bakugou argues with you because you won’t argue with him-

On a serious note, most of your ‘arguments’ start because he feels like you don’t trust him enough to talk to him about your feelings.

If you are upset with him for something, or if you feel an argument coming on, you’ll dismiss yourself, your feelings, say he’s right, and just back down.

And we all know Bakugou will not go down without a fight example a, the sports festival.

He gets defensive, if not a little more agitated when you don’t tell him what’s going on. Not that he’s entitled to know how you’re feeling constantly, but because if he’s going to be in a relationship, he wants communication between the two of you.

If there’s something you can’t communicate to each other, then it doesn’t need to happen or there’s a problem somewhere.

Which is why when you say that it’s nothing, or that you aren’t upset when he knows that that’s utter fucking bullshit, he gets angry. 

He won’t take his anger out on you, he’s not that kind of asshole. 

Even though he hates the assholes, he sometimes drops little clues to Kirishima or Sero.

But overall, he just wants to talk it out with you. He wants to understand what’s going on, why you’re feeling the way you are, what-if there’s anything-he can do differently to help you feel better or to prevent this feeling from happening again.

It all crumbles apart when Bakugou said he’d help you with some math homework that you’d be struggling on.

Only for him to be four hours late because he was sitting in detention for sparking a fight with some shit-talking smartass from a support class.

That night you had struggled to answer the problems on your homework, only to bomb the pop quiz on the same subject the next day. It was a mess, and you were upset.

Your grades of course were not Bakugou’s responsibility, but his responsibility was to at least give you a heads-up that the study session would’ve been moved, or cancelled.

Instead you stayed up way to late trying to understand problems that weren’t making any sense, and now your grade was sitting in a hole.

So you were upset. 

But when Bakugou questioned why you were so quiet around him, you just shrugged your shoulders.

“What gives? You not talkin’ to me or something?” Bakugou wasn’t exactly sure why you were mad at him until you packed up your things at the common room table, your low grade on the pop quiz and homework proving why you were in a bad mood.

And then Bakugou realized that was the homework he said he’d help you with.

“Shit, that was due Tuesday wasn’t it.” Bakugou grumbled.

“Yeah.” You mumbled.

“Hey what’s wrong with you? Did I do somethin’? Why you fuckin’ ignoring me and shit?” Bakugou’s fowl language was something you were used to. He wasn’t angry, he was confused, though his vocabulary could’ve fooled you.

“It’s nothing, you didn’t do anything, I’ve got to study to get this grade up, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You pushed on without another word, trying to escape back to your dorm.

At the mention of the word study, Bakugou then remembered the promised study session.

“Hey wait! I was supposed to help you do that shit, let’s go work on-”

“It’s fine, I got it. Go do whatever you want.” You didn’t look at him.

“No, now cut the bullshit let’s go study.” Bakugou tugged you up toward his dorm.

Inside you stood holding your things, your emotions beginning to bubble over as you watched him look for his bag, a stray bandage over his cheek from the punch the kid had thrown at him. Just staring at it made you upset.

“Why did you do it?” You asked quietly, your voice wavering.

“What? Do what?” Bakugou responded.

“I just wanted you to help me and...you-” You stopped yourself, realizing it was selfish to think it was Bakugou’s job to help you exceed in class. Shaking your head you held your things tightly and turned to leave.

“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well-”

“Bullshit, what the fuck is goin’ on with you? You’re upset, I know you are, what’s the problem?” Bakugou stopped you from leaving, almost forcing you to sit on his bed and explain why you were so distant.

“No- it’s not fair to you, I can’t do this, I can’t argue with you over something so stupid, I don’t want to end up like my fucking parents.” You were crying at this point, tears flooding from your eyes as you dropped your things, your books scattering across his bed as you fell into his arms.

“Are you talking about the fight? You have to communicate with me if you want me to help you. Can you at least tell me what you’re feeling?” Bakugou wanted to help, but with no information, there was little he could do.

“I was just so frustrated, because I was looking forward to studying, and then I found out you were in that stupid fight and I felt like I was all alone, like you’d deserted me and so I just tried to do it on my own and I messed up, and I felt like it was all your fault. I know it’s not. Had I just talked to you we could’ve studied and I would’ve done fine.” You broke down, sobbing into his warm embrace.

“I’m sorry. Just call me out on my bullshit, okay? It’s not right that you gotta’ be affected by my own stupid actions.” Bakugou tugged you back from him to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Why don’t we try and do a few practice problems to help you better understand the material?” Bakugou offered, stroking his thumb over your cheeks to wipe your tears.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

After some silence of Bakugou helping you work through the problems, you thanked him silently with a long hug, just resting your head on his chest. He didn’t ask any questions about the comment you’d made, he knew it was probably a sensitive topic.

But he’d be there when you were ready to talk about it.

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

Todoroki doesn’t really like to argue, not like full on yelling and screaming at least.

If he’s having an argument, he’ll try his best to be civil about it, but sometimes he can get a little heated and possibly raise his voice.

He’s always been fairly outspoken, having to usually bide by someone else’s rules that he barely thinks for himself, but as of late, he’s doing himself a favor and being his own person, living by his own rules, and sometimes that means bucking up against others when they’re incorrect.

But when it comes to you, he can’t really see himself arguing with you, at least over little things.

However, he des find it rather upsetting that you didn’t mention you’d ran into his dad a couple days ago.

You’d just been out shopping and happened to bump into the pro and you said your hello’s, conversed for a few second about school before both continuing on with your day.

You didn’t think it was all that important, and for the most part you’d kind of forgotten about the entire incident.

You’d met Shoto’s father a few times before, which is why he recognized you as his son’s significant other.

So when Enji just so happened to mention the little meeting at a ‘family lunch’ on the weekend, Shoto was a bit surprised, and a bit concerned about the run-in.

Considering the first time Shoto introduced you to his father as his significant other, Enji was a bit opposed to the idea of his son having a relationship, but eventually he grew fond of you, thinking that it might be a good idea for his son to have something normal like a relationship, and go on dates, and live like a teenager.

Worried that he might’ve said something rude, Shoto brought it up in his room after eating lunch.

“Why didn’t you mention running into my father?” Shoto asked bluntly as he sat on his bed, watching as you straightened out your sweater.

“I didn’t really remember it when I came back to the dorms, it was quick, just said hi and talked about school for a few seconds before we went our separate ways.” 

“If it happens again just tell me, I don’t know what he’s thinking, just because he says he’s okay with us together doesn’t mean that’s what he really wants.” Shoto was almost dismissive of the fact that his father had actually just seen his son’s s/o in public, stopped to say hi and then get back to his busy day.

“It wasn’t anything like that, he seemed fine. He was busy, if he was upset it was probably just because he’d had a long day.” You lowered your voice, bowing your head before speaking again.

“I should’ve told you, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.” You were on the offense now, leaving your old statement in the past.

“What? Be mad at you? I’m not mad, I’m just concerned.” Shoto stood up and walked over to you, quickly noticing how emotional you’d become.

“Hey did I say something wrong? Please don’t dry, what’s going on, talk to me.” Shoto lifted your chin only to see your eyelashes coated in tears.

“I’m sorry! You’re right I should’ve told you-”

“Hey, hey, shhh.” Shoto hugged you, his warm arms wrapping around you as he held you close.

“You don’t have to side with me, if he was nice I believe you. Are you alright?” He asked pulling away to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

“I just-I didn’t want us to argue or fight like my parents and I just didn’t want you to be mad-”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not mad, and we don’t have to argue, we’re just talking, we’re not arguing, okay? It’s okay.” Shoto comforted you, allowing his hands to rub your back.

“I’m sorry.” You cried softly as he led you back to his bed to sit.

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay to feel differently than me, it doesn’t mean I’m mad or upset at you. I’m here to listen when you need me to, please don’t feel afraid to talk to me.”  

Lifting your head to look at Sho, you pushed a small smile onto your lips.

“Your hand is cold.” You nudged his right arm, his hand touching your skin under the hem of your shirt as he held you close to him.

“Sorry.” He smiled, wiggling his fingers to tickle you.

“Hey! They’re cold!” You laughed through your tears, trying to get away from his icy fingers.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You pressed a small kiss to the back of his right hand, his cool skin resting against your lips.

»»————-　★　————-««

denki kaminari

»»————-　★　————-««

Kaminari doesn’t argue- at least not with you.

He’ll accuse Kirishima of cheating on some first-person shooter game, or yell curses at Sero for blue-shelling him in Mario Kart.

But he’s never really argued with you about anything.

That doesn’t mean you’ve never had opposing views. Most of the time, Kaminari just listens and tried to understand how you feel.

But more recently, as you progress through school, he’s been doing weird things.

Training longer, forgetting to text you-and he always texts you.

It hurts your heart when you see him smiling and goofing around with Kirishima when today was your movie-night.

You’re not angry at him, you don’t own him for the day, he’s allowed to do other things, but you feel upset. You feel like he doesn’t care about your feelings.

So you head up to your room early, not even bothering to say goodbye to him.

Only about thirty minutes go by when he’s knocking on your door asking for you, asking if you’re feeling okay and why you went back to your room so early.

“I’m fine.” You lie, your expression was more than telling of that factor. You had a pout on your lips, your brows weren’t up and happy, and your eyes didn’t sparkle at the sight of your handsome boyfriend.

“You’re not! What’s goin’ on shawty?” Kaminari always uses humor to make you feel better, that’s just what he’s good at. He can be serious too, but he likes putting a smile on your face before he gets all serious.

“It’s nothing, you were having fun with Kirishima, I don’t want to interrupt.” And without meaning to, you’ve spilled exactly why you were feeling so upset.

Kaminari stares at you with his wide golden eyes, shaking his head as he practically tackles you through your dorm-room door frame into a hug.

Wrapping his arms around you he hugs you close and smiles.

“I didn’t ignore you! Kirishima just talks a lot.” Kaminari is quick to assume you were slightly jealous.

“I-I, no no you’re fine! Go have fun!”

“No. I’m staying with you.” Kaminari’s voice is a bit rougher this time, forcing the fact that he was going to spend time with you now.

After speaking he realized you’re crying. He quickly starts panicking, wondering if his stern ‘Bakugou’ voice scared you.

“Hey, hey! Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” He’s rubbing your arms and trying to wipe your tears away as they flow from your eyes.

“I didn’t want us to argue-I was just feeling weird and left-out and I-I’m sorry for being so jealous over something so little and stupid, please don’t be mad at me, I don’t want to fight and bicker like my parents do.” You don’t realize Kaminari’s expression softening at the mention of your fear, becoming like your parents.

“I’d never yell or argue with you over something like that. It’s okay to feel jealous or hurt, just talk to me about it okay? I can’t help you if I don’t know how to. We can converse like this about things, it doesn’t have to escalate.” Kaminari is soothing surprisingly. His touch is gentle even though it wanders.

Holding your hands is a nice feeling, and he enjoys holding them. Rubbing his thumb over your knuckles relaxes you as you lean in to rest your head on his chest.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize. I love you.” Kaminari kisses the top of your head and hugs you tightly.

“How about you pick out the movie this time! If it’s scary, you get the pleasure of cuddling into me!” Kaminari wiggles his brows.

“You were the one terrified to turn the lights off last time.” You giggle, lifting your head to wipe your eyes.

“I don’t remember that at all.” Kaminari teases, walking over to your bed to get comfy while you looked for a movie to watch.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[starks-hero]

What He Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Him

Pairing: Loki x Stark!Reader

Summary: You and Loki had been doing a fairly decent job at keeping your relationship a secret from the other members of the team, specifically your father. But what happens when word finally gets out?

Word Count: 4,480

Warnings: fluff, implied smut, angst

a/n: This gif, that is all

You had your music playing at full volume as you worked your way around the lab, your latest suit laid out on the table. It was almost finished and you were more than impressed with how it had turned out.

Grabbing one of the many tools strewn out on the tabletop, you got to work assuring each circuit was in place.

It was fair to say that whilst you were in one of your zones, you could easily get lost in your work. Which was probably the reasons you hadn't noticed Loki make his way into the lab.

You jumped slightly when two slender arms wrapped around your middle. “Loki,” you scolded, not taking your eyes away from your work. “I'm busy.”

He chuckled. “I can see that, dove,” he purred. “But I'm bored.”

“You're welcome to stay here as long as you stay out of my way,” you offered, smirking when Loki rose his hands innocently.

“You won't even know I'm here.”

You managed to steal five minutes of peace. And then Loki's ability to sit still and not cause trouble seemed to reach its end. He started simply, standing ridiculously close, running his hand along your side. Your frustrated sigh and visible struggle to focus on your suit only egged him on. He re-positioned himself behind you, hands resting on your hips and lips finding your neck.

When one of his hands began to trace down your stomach and towards the waistband of your jeans you drew the line.

“Loki, stop.” you chided urgently. “Not here.”

“Why not?” he asked, nipping at the exposed skin of your neck. “It's as good a place as any.”

“Someone could see,” you pressed on.

Loki’s kissing ceased but he didn't remove his arms from around you. If anything he held you tighter.

“And would that be such a bad thing?” he asked after a beat of silence. You sighed and turned in his arms, now facing the god. His eyes said it all, he wasn't hurt, but he was tired of keeping up this charade.

He hated having to wait till you were both alone to show his affection, having to settle for stolen kisses and subtle glances all in an attempt to keep your relationship a secret from the rest of the team. Loki was growing sick of it. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, mark you, to show everyone you belonged to him. He hated having to hide his feelings as if they weren’t acceptable.

“Loki, we've talked about this. If the team finds out, especially my dad, it'll cause nothing but trouble.” You frowned at Loki's defeated expression. “I want to tell them, I do. I love you and I want everyone to know that. But only when the time is right.”

Loki nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. Slender fingers wrapping around your wrist and he placed a kiss to your hand. “As you wish, darling.”

Loki turned to leave but you gently grasped hold of his sleeve and tugged him back. “Where do you think you're going?”

Loki tilted his head. “You said-”

“I said I wasn't ready to tell them,” you clarified. “I never said anything about you leaving.”

A devilish smirked spread across Loki's lips as he stepped back towards you, hands grasping your waist. “Why of course, my dear.” He pushed you against the cool steel of the table. “How may I be of service to you?”

You pulled him into a hungry kiss and he practically moaned into your mouth. Grasping hold of your thighs, he hoisted you up onto the table and slotted himself snugly between your legs. Truth be told, this wasn't what you had in mind. You were serious when you said the lab wasn't a good place to start something but Loki was just too irresistible. His kisses trailed from your jaw down your neck and you couldn't help the whimper that left your lips as he sucked on the sweet spot just above your collar bone.

Your hand tangled in his raven hair and he laughed breathlessly against your skin as he pulled you closer to him. “That's it, pet.”

The sudden sound of someone clearing their throat caused both of you to almost jump out of your skin. You turned towards the lab door and found a rather unimpressed Natasha standing in the threshold, arms crossed and glare seething into a certain god.

Your heart jumped into your throat as you hurriedly pushed Loki away and scrambled to your feet.

“Oh, no. Don't stop on my account,” Nat snarled and the venom in her tone was enough to send shivers down even Loki's spine.

“Nat! We were just-”

“Don't bullshit me, Y/N. You know it doesn't work,” Nat stated plainly and you swallowed. She was right, it was near impossible to successfully lie to her. “Does your father know?”

“No, no, no. Nat, you can't tell him,” you begged. “He'll kill us.”

Natasha scoffed, pointing an accusing finger at Loki, who was still standing sheepishly behind you. “He's lucky I haven't killed him myself.”

Loki shifted uncomfortably. When it came down to it, he was a god and Nat was human. She probably couldn't do much damage to him. But she was certainly intimidating. Loki wasn't so much upset over the fact that you'd been caught, if anything Loki found it rather exciting. His only worry was how this situation would pan out for you. And your relationship.

“Natasha, please. You know how my dad overreacts.”

“I'm not sure I'd count ‘getting pissed that your daughter's dating a criminal’ as overreacting.”

You felt helpless. With Tony as your father, the team were the closest thing you had to family. Nat had always been important to you, she was an older sister, a cool aunt and in some cases, a understanding mother all rolled up into one. She wanted what was best for you, and you knew if that meant throwing Loki under the bus, she wouldn't hesitate.

Noticing your struggle, Loki decided to intervene.

“Agent Romanoff, if you'd allow us to explain. I-”

Nat turned to Loki with a glare that stopped the god mid-sentence. “I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Y/N.” She turned back to you. “Tell your dad.”

“What?!”

“Tell Tony about this.” She clarified, gesturing between you and Loki. “Or I will.”

“Nat,” you started but as she raised an eyebrow you knew she wasn't bluffing. She was dead serious.

“Okay, okay, fine. We'll tell him. But just not yet-” you hesitated. “Just give us a little more time to figure it all out.”

Natasha seemed unconvinced, to say the least, but when she noticed the genuine worry in your expression she backed off and her voice softened.

“Fine. But if he finds out beforehand, I had no idea about any of this,” she ordered. “And you,” Nat glanced at Loki who was still standing behind you. “Are on thin ice.”

Nat turned to leave, shooting one final glare Loki’s way. “Oh, and a bit of advice. Next time lock the goddamn door.”

You both sighed in temporary relief as the door slammed shut and you were left alone.

“Well, that went well,” Loki commented sarcastically, rubbing at his temple.

“And that was only Nat. How do you think the others are going to react?” You took a seat on the workbench and Loki joined you.

“Were you serious?” he asked. “About telling them? Telling him?”

You sighed, dropping your head into your hands. “I suppose we don't have much of a choice now, do we?” You murmured and Loki chuckled slightly.

“I suppose not.”

“You're enjoying this.” You growled as Loki’s mood seemed only slightly diminished by the situation you’d just been landed in.

“Yes, I find being threatened by a world-class assassin immensely enjoyable,” he noted nonchalantly. Loki sighed when the fear remained evident in your expression. He gently caught your wrist and pulled it away from your face, lacing your fingers as he did so. “Honestly, my dear. There's no need to worry. It will be fine.”

“You sound awfully sure.”

“That’s because I am,” Loki smirked, his tone reassuring and soft. He placed a harmless kiss against your cheek, but couldn’t resist the urge to continue down to your jaw.

His nose grazed your neck as his breath fanned out over your skin. His voice fell to a low whisper. “Now, what was it we were getting to before we were so rudely interrupted?”

You couldn’t help but laugh in slight disbelief. “You never learn, do you?”

Loki flicked his wrist as he began to plant kisses down your neck. “Do you take me for a fool?”

 You glanced at the labs' door to find the keypad had turned red. Locked. Smirking, Loki pushed you down and picked up where he'd left off.

It had been a little over a week since Natasha had found out about your relationship with Loki and thankfully, she hadn't said anything as of yet. She was giving you a generous amount of time to build up the courage to tell both your father and the rest of the team, but it was courage you were yet to find. The stress of the whole situation had been getting to you, something that was becoming more and more apparent to Loki.

In some desperate attempt to help you blow off a little steam, the god had dragged you down to the training hall. You and Loki often trained together, though since the beginning of your relationship, training seldom actually took place during your sessions.

But you needed it today, and after less than fifteen minutes of sparring, you could already feel some of the stress dissipating.

“Let's try that again,” Loki stated, helping you up from where you'd fallen back onto the training mat. He steadied you before pacing back a few steps as you both prepared for another round.

You made the first move, Loki easily blocking your strike. He caught your other arm as you tried to hit his shoulder and he only barely avoided a knee in the groin by spinning you around and catching you in a gentle headlock.

“Fighting dirty today are we, darling?” He purred in your ear and you smirked. Leaning forward, you used the momentum to throw Loki over your shoulder, straddling him to assure he stayed down.

“Problem with that?”

Loki chuckled, staring up at you. “Certainly not.” Throwing his leg over and shifting his weight, he threw you off of him and you landed on the floor beside him. He then took up his position on top of you. “Two can play at that game.”

He used his new vantage point to lean down and kiss your shoulder. “And I do enjoy it so very much.”

You turned your head to the side to grant Loki better access as he kissed up your neck, but your blood ran cold when you noticed a familiar figure standing dumbstruck at the halls entrance.

“Shit, Steve!” You pushed Loki off of you and for a moment he thought it was an attempted diversion until his own eyes locked with the captains. “Steve, wait!”

He was already turning to leave and you took off after him, Loki right behind you. You barely caught him before he reached the door. “Steve, hear us out, please.”

He turned to look at you with slight disappointment, his cheeks still tinted red with embarrassment given what he'd just walked in on. “Why didn't you tell us, Y/N?”

“I swear I was going to. I should have sooner and I'm sorry.” You rushed. “But please, Steve. You can't tell my dad, not yet.”

Steve hesitated. He'd taken you under his wing from day one and he'd be lying if he said he saw you as anything less than family. He didn't want to put you in a situation where he knew you'd face hardship. But he also didn't want to put his relationship with Tony on the line. He knew what that could lead to.

“I won't lie to Tony.”

“Then just don't say anything!” You tried. “Not saying anything technically isn't lying.”

Steve sighed, glancing between you both, his eyes lingering on Loki a moment longer. Loki seemed to have read the captains mind.

“Captain, I understand your concerns. But I can assure you my intentions are completely good-willed.”

Steve shook his head, questioning his sanity. “Does anyone else know?”

“Natasha, that's it.”

Steve seriously pondered the dilemma he was being faced with. Part of him wanted to march off and tell Tony, part of him wanted to strangle Loki for even putting his hands on you and the other part was still hung up on how upset you’d be if he chose either of the latter options.

“Alright,” Steve said after a moment of silence and relief flooded your expression. “But if your father asks-”

“I understand.” You nodded, still breathing a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Steve.”

You counted your lucky stars as Steve left the training hall, the whole conversation having gone way better than you could have possibly imagined.

“You know, my dear,” Loki stated from behind you. “We really must stop picking the worst possible places in the compound to make out.”

You'd been peacefully working away in the lab, adding the finishing touches to the suit you'd been working on. A few more final touch-ups and a test run and it would be ready for missions.

The door slamming opened behind you immediately caught your attention as a severely pissed off Loki stormed in. His jaw was set and his hands were balled into fists. This couldn't be good.

“Loki, what's wrong?” you asked, rounding the table and approaching him. He was already pacing.

“Thor knows,” he growled and your heart stopped. “He was asking ridiculous questions about you and I and he knew I was lying.”

You inhaled sharply and did your best to avoid groaning in frustration, unable to grasp how Loki of all people had gotten caught out lying. “Loki, you're the god of lies.”

“And Thor's a persistent bastard!” He bit back.

You grappled with the little composure you had left and sighed. Loki was still clearly fretting and at least one of you had to start thinking straight.

“Okay, well what did he say?”

“That he wouldn't tell anyone,” Loki murmured, running his index finger along his top lip, something he often did when nervous.

“Alright then, what are we worried about? He said he wouldn't tell.”

Loki scoffed. “It's Thor! He struggles to keep the simplest of secrets, he's going to let it slip!” Loki took a seat and wrung his hands. “Your father is going to kill me.”

You stepped towards him and ran a comforting hand through his raven hair. He sighed and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head against your stomach.

“You're a god, Loki. I don't think he could kill you even if he wanted to.”

“He'll find a way,” Loki moped, tightening his hold on you.

You huffed at Loki's dramatic antiques as you continued to run your hand through his hair. One thing was now painfully clear, you needed to tell your dad. Before anyone else found out.

It was all planned out perfectly. The team was set to have dinner together in an attempt to bring some normality to your crazy lives, and you figured it would be the best time to break the new. You'd wait until everyone had finished eating and you and your dad were alone and then you'd tell him.

Not only did you think it would be better to have the conversation one on one, but Loki not being there also lessened the likely hood of your father trying to kill him if he didn't take the news kindly.

The only major challenge now was making it through the dinner itself without losing your nerve. Loki assured you that he'd be by your side right up until the moment he had to leave, and he meant it. Your father sat at the head of the table, because of course he did, and you sat to his right. Loki was seated beside you.

Most of the dinner passed as they usually did when the team ate together. Clint complained about the take out choice, Nat downed an impressive amount of wine whilst somehow remaining sober and a philosophical debate had broken out despite their being no indication as to what had started it.

For once, you and Loki remained silent, too nervous to offer any input should your worrisome tone give you away. You had spent most of the dinner toying with the food on your plate with your fork.

Loki's hand gently held yours beneath the table. It was risky, but no one had noticed and it was currently the only thing keeping you sane.

“You alright, kiddo?”

You glanced up to find your dad staring at you. He motioned to your untouched plate of food.

“You haven't touched your take out. It's your favourite.”

“Oh yeah, I- uh,” you stumbled over your own words and cursed yourself for being caught off guard. Most of the team were still chatting amongst themselves, but Steve and Natasha were now watching the exchange between you and Tony attentively. “I guess I'm just not that hungry.”

He seemed entirely unconvinced and leaned in slightly, away from the prying ears of the table. “You sure everything's alright?”

You gulped. Your father was no idiot and he knew something was eating away at you. From the corner of your eye, you could see Nat nodding her head and Steve smiling supportively. This was the perfect opportunity to bring it up and you decided it was now or never. “Well, actually-”

“Nice going, Clint!”

Both your heads snapped up to see that a knocked over wine bottle had stained both the end of the table and Bruce's white shirt.

“Hey! It's not my fault. Who even drinks this stuff anyway?!”

“What the hell is that suppose to mean, bird brain?” Sam yelled, possessively grabbing what was left in the overturned bottle and dunking it into his glass. Bucky hid his smile behind his bottle of beer.

Everyone else's attention had turned to Bruce, who seemed to be doing an excellent job at not hulking out and sending Clint through the nearest wall.

You bit your lip.

“Dad, is it alright if I leave? I'm not feeling up to eating right now.” You asked. Now clearly wasn't the best time to bring something up and you decided waiting till after everyone had turned it in for the night was probably best.

“Sure thing, sweet pea,” he smiled as you stood and pushed in your chair behind you. Loki followed you, rising to his feet.

“I think it's time I also take my leave.” No one paid much attention as Loki mimicked your actions and prepared to leave the table.

“Leaving already?” Wanda asked politely and you smiled back, already prepared to answer with ‘Yeah, I'm just tired.’

“Of course they are! I'm sure my brother and Y/N have much to do and discuss,” Thor smirked, winking and raising his glass to the both of you in a not so subtle way.

Silence fell over the entire table and you and Loki grew rigid. Natasha and Steve turned to glare at Thor, who lowered his glass, realising what exactly he'd just said.

“What?” Tony said, turning to Thor with a shocked expression. Loki quickly stepped in.

“I think my brother may have had a tad too much Asgardian ale, I-

“No, what did you say?” He asked again, voice raising. All eyes were now either on Tony, Loki or you.

Thor seemed to shrink into his seat, taking interest in the bottom of his cup as he attempted to backtrack and fix his mistake. But it was too late.

Your father's gaze turned to you and then Loki, who was cautiously standing behind you. 

“One chance.” He was livid. “You get one chance to tell me the truth.”

“Dad, can we not do this now,” you asked quietly.

“The truth, Y/N.” You couldn’t recall the last time you’d seen your father so angry. And as terrified as you were, you knew lying would only dig you a deeper hole.

“I was going to tell you,” you started, wincing as he ran a hand down his face. “I just didn't know how and then Nat told me I should just-”

Your father's glare turned to Natasha who choked on her wine at your words. You mentally grimaced as you realized what you'd just said.

“Oh, so you knew!” Tony yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Nat. He turned back to you. “You told Thor and Natasha before you told me!”

“I didn't tell her! She just sort of found out...” you fumbled and Tony laughed humorlessly.

“Did anybody else know besides Nat and point break?” he asked, addressing the whole table. Steve fidgeted awkwardly in his seat and Tony immediately singled him out.

“Steve.” He crossed his arms as he glared at the captain. “Something on your mind?”

Steve sighed. “Look, Tony I-”

“Don't bullshit me, Rogers.”

Steve nodded wordlessly and Tony bit the inside of his cheek, looking as though he was prepared to rip into each member of the team. You cowered back slightly and Loki stepped infront of you, shielding you from your fathers rage the best he could.

“Great! Awesome! Did anyone else know my daughter was dating a psychopath and just decided to keep that information to themselves?”

Everyone awkwardly shifted in their seats, some clearing there throats and others offering you sympathetic glances. Natasha mouthed a ‘sorry’ and Thor seemed to still be beating himself up for letting it slip in the first place.

Loki stepped forward. “Stark, I can assure you-”

“Zip it, Reindeer Games,” he warned and for once, Loki did as he was told. Tony pointed to you as if he were scolding a child.

“You are grounded,” he stated. “No more missions, no more lab privileges, nothing.”

You scoffed. “I'm not a kid!”

“Yes, you are! You're my kid.”

“Dad, will you please just listen to me.” You begged as you stepped towards your father in hopes of reasoning with him. He rose from his seat to meet you.

“No. This,” he gestured between you and Loki. “Ends now. End of discussion.”

You took a step back, feeling as though an arrow had hit you in the chest. Tears were brimming your eyes and you couldn't find it in you to meet anyone's gaze. Seeing how upset you'd become, Loki refused to bite his tongue any longer.

“Stark, with all due respect, I won't allow that. I understand your disdain for me and it's more than warranted but do not take that anger out on Y/N. You have no reason to trust me but I can assure you that my feelings towards your daughter and nothing but sincere and genuine.”

Loki's sudden statement seemed to have surprised Tony. He opened his mouth to argue but Loki didn't give him the chance as he continued.

“She has given me a second chance and I love her dearly for doing so. And I would never do anything to harm her. I love her unconditionally and all I ask is for a chance. Allow me to prove myself.”

Loki's speech had left you teary-eyed with a warmth spreading in your chest. A smile pulled at your lips as Loki turned to you. The genuine and loving look in his eyes spoke volumes and it took every ounce of control you possessed not to launch yourself into his arms then and there.

“Tony, I don't know about you but that seemed pretty convincing to me.” Nat voiced from the table and Thor immediately agreed.

“My brother may be the god of lies but he has spoken nothing but the truth tonight.”

Steve, ever the diplomat, offered Tony an encouraging nod. “All he's asking for is a chance, Tony.”

“It's pretty sweet if you ask me,” Bucky murmured from beside the captain, Sam and Wanda nodding in agreement.

Tony watched as the table seemed to take Loki's side and he battled with himself until his eyes landed on you. You were standing side by side with Loki, whilst he smiled at you in adoration. The glances you shared were nothing short of loving and Tony couldn't help but notice how genuine and mutual it truly was. Loki's hand was brushing against yours, desperate to grasp hold and comfort you but not wanting to overstep the line the tension had drawn.

Tony sighed as he realized what he had to do. You were his daughter, his everything. And he just wanted you to be happy. Even if it was with someone he didn’t initially approve of. 

“You love him?” he asked nonchalantly and you nodded.

“And you, Frosty,” Tony motioned to Loki who tried not to frown at the nickname. “You love her?”

Loki glanced at you, smiling softly. “Wholeheartedly.”

Tony swallowed down the lump in his throat as he watched the both of you, not completely ready to accept that you weren't a kid anymore.

“Well then, I guess that's that.” He smiled at you softly. “Leave it to you to fall for the God of mischief. You always were a troublemaker.” 

Your father pulled you into a hug, muttering a quiet ‘love you, sweet pea’, before pulling back to look at Loki.

“You hurt her,” he started and Loki cut him off with an amused chuckle.

“You'll kill me?” He guessed.

“Oh no, not just me. They'll kill you.” Tony smirked, pointing to the table full of avengers.

Loki nodded. “Understood.”

Nat sent you a wink and Steve and Thor smiled whilst the rest of the team seemed to congratulate you with supportive, and in some cases embarrassing, comments.

You and Loki smirked at each other, slowly turning to leave the dining room when your father's voice called you back.

“Woah, where do you two think you're going?” he asked. “Cats out of the bag now so no need to run off and hide. Sit.”

Seeing no point in arguing, you both took your seats, Loki holding your hand atop the table for everyone to see. Things quickly settled back into a comfortable conversation, you and Loki feeling freer than you had in months. The domesticity of it all was enough to make your heart burst.

“So,” Clint, who was slightly tipsy at this point, yelled. “When's the wedding?”

Tony turned red. “Don't push their luck, Barton.” He partially joked, glaring daggers at his teammate as the rest of the team laughed. As for you and Loki, you couldn't help but smile at the possibility.

tag list: @leftperfectionmoon @doozywoozy @bakerstreethound @miraclesoflove​ @Kealohilani-tepise

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Can I request HSP + depression reader (who thinks they are just weak and being crybaby) x Bucky, please? I understand you are super busy right now and I didn’t mean to rush you or anything but I'm just struggling with both HSP and depression and couldn’t help but send it right now. No need to hurry, just when you are free and maybe when you had nothing to write. Thank you and I love you!

Thank you for the request, I’m sorry it’s been a difficult time for you! I’m here if you need me and I hope that this helps!!! 

It’s called empathy

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1981

Warnings: depression, HSP (highly sensitive person), low self worth, negative self talk, swearing (that’s normal for me but this one’s a little extra), angst (more so internal idk if that needs a warning), fluff/comfort

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @barnesplums @peggycarter-steverogers @mardema @abitgryffindorky @buckys-blue-eyes @strawberrimae @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @broadwaybabe18 @im-sick-of-failing

Taglist     Masterlist

--------------

Breathe in

Breathe out

In 

Out 

...in…

You felt a tear escape your eyes

Goddamn it

You didn’t want to cry, you couldn’t let yourself. It was stupid, it was just some shitty remark from someone when they were in a shitty mood, it wasn’t your fault, all that bullshit you tried to tell yourself. It never worked.

You were trying to control your breathing, looking up at the ceiling trying to will the tears away, biting your lip. You would not cry, not over this. Not over something that wasn’t worth your tears

Not when you didn’t even know what exactly you were crying over. 

Yet here you were, gripping the edge of the bathroom sink with white knuckles, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep the tears at bay. And it wasn’t working.

Weak sensitive piece of shit. 

What good were you to the team if you cry in the bathroom like a baby every time something remotely stressful happens? People usually cry when they're in pain or when they’re grieving - the only excuse you had was you were stressed or sad. 

You felt another few tears escape and you angrily swiped them away, cursing yourself for being so weak. 

You hated this, you hated yourself. You were so numb most of the time, especially when you were alone. You found yourself alone in your room with racing thoughts feeling like you were falling apart. Yet when you were alone you could only stare at the ceiling wondering if it would get any worse. 

The answer was usually yes.

Whenever you would go on missions with the team, you were able to push aside your stress. You had a job to do and you would do it. But when the mission was over and you were walking back through the rubble - seeing all the blood, destruction, fear - then it would start to get to you. You would panic, you would feel tears cloud your vision. Tears for those you were leaving behind, and those who had nowhere to go, those who lost someone. That was understandable. 

It seemed to affect you more than the others though. It was understandable to be moved by so much destruction. But for you everyone felt like someone you had known and loved. 

You could feel the grief in those left behind, feel the sadness and pain that they were going through. 

The same was true when you weren’t on missions. When those who were on them would come back. Whether they were injured or their eyes were saddened - you knew when a mission was rough. You would listen, you would be there for people. It was easy to talk to you, and you were very wise. 

But it still overwhelmed you. You couldn’t say no, you didn’t want to. You wanted to help but it would be so emotionally taxing for you. So behind closed doors, you would break. Be there for others, listen when they need to talk, others come first - you took their emotional pain onto yourself. 

You were grateful that you could help - but in the process it was hurting you. 

You allowed yourself to feel sad when you were alone in your room. No one could see you be weak in the dark of your room. But you never cried much just from the pure exhaustion of your thoughts. Sometimes you wanted to, just feeling so incredibly empty that you just wanted to have an ugly crying session curled up in bed.

But you didn’t get to make that choice.

The crying wouldn’t come until the absolute worst times. If you had messed up on a mission, if Tony said something a little too harshly because to him everything was a joke, seeing something gruesome on a mission- whenever it came to someone else getting involved, the tears would come. Hell sometimes even being overwhelmed in public would be enough to start the waterworks. 

You always felt so fucking weak for it. The slightest environmental stressor could stress you out too much and move you to tears. You had no reason to be upset most of the time. But you would get angry at yourself for being upset, which would make you more upset that you couldn’t control it, making it harder to control.

It was a vicious cycle.

Lately it had been popping up more and more recently. Smaller things were upsetting you more than usual. You were becoming more sensitive to external stimuli and as a result, you spent as much time as you could in your room. You were embarrassed by yourself. Both by your emotions and by your inability to control them. 

This time you were just upset that you were upset. It had been a long night the day prior, just a lot of paperwork to do. There had been a mission earlier this week that you hadn’t been assigned to, but it had been brutal for everyone who had gone. So far today had been a normal day by anyone’s terms, an emotionally exhausting one for you. One of those where you woke up tired and the thoughts of another day were enough to draw you to tears. Nothing had even happened, but apparently nothing needed to happen. 

Your emotions came and went without your consent. 

You knew deep down it was probably some sort of emotional build up - that whole quote about bottling things up until they got to be too much - it happened every time but you still thought you could handle yourself better than that. You didn’t want to vent or be a problem to anyone. But when you are the emotional support for most of the team and you haven’t been able to get enough sleep or take time for yourself - you didn’t have much of a say as to when the bottle overflows.

A few more tears fell and you slammed your hand on the counter, wiping your tears angrily once more. “God fucking damn it why can’t you just stop fucking crying!” you exclaimed, feeling a few more tears falling “Weak piece of shit!” 

There was knocking on the door, pulling you out of your self deprecating thoughts. You gasped lightly, wiping your face again. 

Knock knock

You jumped a little, gasping slightly. No one was supposed to be here, it was the middle of the night. 

“Y/n? What’s going on in there? Are you alright?”

You took a shaky breath. Of course it would be Bucky who heard you. Why would it be anyone else?

“I’m fine Bucky, it’s late, you should go to sleep.”

“Then why are you still awake?” Bucky responded. You heard him sigh a little outside the door. “Come out here and tell me you’re okay.”

“Really Bucky?”

“Unless you want me to come in there, but I don’t think Stark would appreciate me breaking your door.”

You took a small breath and walked over to the door, opening it. You crossed your arms and met Bucky’s concerned eyes. “I’m fine, Bucky.”

Bucky sighed, taking in your appearance. Red eyes, flushed face, your hair was messy - you were definitely crying. He hated when you wouldn’t admit that you weren’t ok. “You know you don’t have to be, right?”

You clenched your jaw, trying to keep fresh tears from clouding your vision. “What?”

“You say you’re fine, you always say that you’re fine until you break. I heard you crying, I can see that you’re not feeling okay yet still you try to keep a brave face. And I just want you to know that you don’t have to always be okay.”

You let out a breath. “I - i…” you looked down and shook your head, lost for words. 

“Y/n, I’m not here to judge you. Can you try to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” you said looking up at him “It’s literally so stupid, Bucky.”

“Y/n, nothing you say right now is going to sound stupid. 

You shrugged your shoulders, still not quite meeting his eyes. “I don’t know, I just get so worked up sometimes, but it’s stupid. I tell myself I’m not going to be bothered and then I freak out again. The smallest things bother me and I get stressed out and then I cry like some stupid weak bitch. People have it worse than me, God, you have it worse than me. Everyone here has some sort of traumatic awful thing happen to them and then there’s me and I get sad because I see other people sad,” you were crying again and you wiped at your face, covering your eyes. “God Im so fucking stupid I -”

Bucky pulled you into his chest as you let out a sob. “You’re not stupid, y/n.”

“YES I AM. I get worked up over the smallest shit, I don’t listen when people tell me to take breaks, I take everything too personally and I can’t stop fucking crying when I don’t even know what the fuck is wrong!” you exclaimed, trying to push yourself away, ashamed.

Bucky held you tightly, not letting you go. “That’s not your fault. It’s not up to you how your feelings show up.”

“But I cry at the most stupid shit and I can’t control it.”

“You’re not supposed to know how to control it,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “Emotions can’t be controlled. They just happen and it’s rarely convenient.”

“Then why do I feel so weak? If this,” you gestured to yourself “is so goddamn normal then why isn’t everyone else breaking down every other day?” 

Bucky brushed some hair out of your face. “Your emotions are yours, no one else’s. No one has the right to tell you how to feel. Think of it this way - you can’t expect everyone to have the same amount of strength or stamina - no one has the same emotional response either. And that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you you.”

You shook your head. “I just feel so weak all the time.” 

“And I’m here to remind you that crying isn’t weak. You are not a weak person, you are not a bad person, you’re not any of those things your mind tells you. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. You put your heart into everything you do. You help everyone you can. Mourning someone else’s loss isn’t weakness. It’s called empathy.”

You took a small breath. “Then why does it hurt so goddamn much?”

“”I don’t know. And I can’t say for certain that you won’t always feel that way. But I know I can tell you that you aren’t weak, and I’ll be here every time you feel that you are.” 

You nodded your head slightly. “You don’t think I’m weak?” you asked quietly.

He pulled you back into a hug. “Not in the slightest, y/n.”

[bokubonk]

your name

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, insecurity, cursing

characters: Tanaka x gn!reader, Saeko

date: 04/11/21

word count: 1.6k+

It was Friday and you were heading to the convenience store to buy snacks for your weekly movie night with Tanaka. It was something you looked forward to all week considering he was the one you liked and these movie nights gave you hope that maybe he liked you back. After all, he never invited anyone else to them and they always led to you falling asleep in his arms, which he never protested to. 

It had been going on for a long time now since the two of you were childhood friends but over the years your feelings developed and now, you held onto the hope that the hours the two of you spent together meant something more. 

You walked with a bounce in your step, quickly picking out your favorite snacks, knowing the two of you had similar tastes. You rushed to pay for everything and quickly hurried out the door, wanting to be there to greet him once he came home after practice. 

He always scolded you for waiting out in the cold when you could be waiting inside but you wanted to be the first one to welcome him home so you always waited. For you, it was worth the risk of getting sick. 

You leaned against the wall, hands fumbling with the straps of your bag. It was getting colder and you were a little worried that something had happened. Normally, he got home within fifteen minutes of you being there but it had been almost forty five minutes and he had yet to show up. 

With furrowed brows you decided to knock on the door, hoping that maybe Tanaka had been told to stay behind to practice and your expression brightened when you saw Saeko.

“Oh? Y/n, what are you doing here?” she inquired, her voice raspy and her cheeks flushed from what appeared to be a cold. “Did he not text you?”

Your smile dropped and your chest tightened.

“What do you mean?” 

You nervously gripped the bag of food in your hand, reaching into your pocket to pull out your phone.

Your eyes widened when you saw the message on the screen that had clearly been sent hours ago. 

I’m going on a date tonight so I gotta cancel movie night. I promise I’ll make it up to you.

“Oh,” you murmured, blinking away your tears. She stared at you with pity in her eyes and you put on your best smile, hoping she wouldn’t be able to see through the cracks. 

“I guess I’ll just head home then. Have a good night,” you said, struggling to keep your voice steady. “It’s getting late so you should stay inside and rest,” you handed over the bag of snacks, “I know it’s not going to do much for your cold but you should eat these if you’re hungry.”

She shook her head, her eyes full of concern and she went back inside to grab her keys. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home. It’s not right for you to be out so late at night without anyone with you.”

You shook your head.

“It’s okay. It’s not that far of a walk anyway. I’ll be alright.”

“That brother of mine may be an idiot but I know how much you mean to him. I just don’t understand what he thinks he’s doing, going out on a date with someone else.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I guess that makes two of us.”

It wasn’t a surprise that Saeko was sympathizing with you, considering how obvious your feelings were for her brother. Often, you saw her winking at you whenever she would spot the two of you cuddling in his room. Anyone could see how you felt about him if they looked hard enough but you figured you didn’t matter enough to Tanaka for him to realize you were in love with him. 

Perhaps this was your time to let go of him. Maybe this was fate’s way of saying you should give up. 

You let out a bitter laugh and steeled your nerves for what was to come. But you were comforted with the thought that at least he would be happy with whoever he went out with tonight even though you wished with all your heart that it was you. 

By the time you came home, you were no longer in the mood to eat anything, your thoughts so preoccupied with who he was on a date with. 

What did they look like? Did they make him smile? 

You laid awake, thinking about all these possibilities and you hated yourself for it. You hated yourself for still holding on even though you promised to let him go. 

It certainly didn’t help that you had the weekend to dwell on your thoughts and it was taking a toll on your health. Your dark circles were more prominent and with Monday coming up you weren’t sure how you would face him. 

So you did the next best thing and decided to avoid him at all costs, walking the other way whenever you saw him in the halls. You wondered if he even remembered you were missing from his life but from the goofy smile on his face whenever you stumbled into his path, you figured you had been forgotten. 

It hurt to know that after so many years, you had been so easily forgotten but you were glad that at least he found someone who made him happy. 

But when Friday came, your plans to ignore him went down the drain when you saw him waiting for you after class ended. You tried pushing past him and pretending you hadn’t seen him but he only came after you, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you into an empty classroom to talk. 

“What’s going on?” he demanded, “Why are you ignoring me?”

When you only responded with your silence he let out a sigh, “If it’s because of movie night then I promise I’ll never cancel on you ever again. The date sucked anyway.”

“I don’t want to hear about your date, Ryu,” you replied, trying your best to ignore the tight feeling in your chest.

“Hey, hey, why are you crying? I said I’m sorry. Do you want me to take you shopping to make it up to you? We can have movie night every night if you want, anything, please just stop crying.”

You could tell he was desperate, but you were too hurt to allow things to go back to the way they were before. It had been too long that you allowed yourself to have feelings for him when you clearly knew he didn’t feel the same. After all, if he did then why would he go on a date with someone else.

“It’s fine. We don’t need to have any more movie nights. I’m getting pretty busy anyway. I’m sure you have to practice late too. You should prioritize volleyball.”

You kept your voice steady even with the tears streaming down your cheeks but that only made him more frustrated. Tanaka knew you were upset but unlike before, now you were refusing to forgive him and he was worried that he had fucked it all up and this would be the moment he lost you.

“What the fuck, y/n? Why are you being like this? I already apologized. What more do you want from me?”

He didn’t mean to be so forceful with his words but your cold demeanor worried him and he was desperate to bring things back to the way they were. 

“I want you to love me,” you sobbed, unable to bear putting up a front any longer. “But I know you don’t and I’m trying to let you go so please just leave me alone.”

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Who the fuck said I didn’t love you?” 

“You went out on that date,” you sniffled.

“Yeah? Were you jealous?” he asked, his voice soft. He cursed himself for making you cry but he couldn’t hold back the affection in his voice now that he knew you felt the same. Tanaka only wished he had known earlier or he would have never wasted his time going on a date with someone else. 

“Of course I was,” you scoffed, “You don’t see me going on dates with anyone else so why would you go out with someone else if you had feelings for me.”

“Because I was trying to get over you and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he admitted, lowering his head in a sort of bow. Now that he thought about it, he realized just how stupid he was and he hated himself for ever thinking it was a good idea in the first place. “But I ended up fucking myself over anyway because the date sucked and you started ignoring me.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you,” you muttered while he lifted his head and quirked an eyebrow at you. You rolled your eyes and he gently took your face between his calloused hands so you couldn’t look away. 

“Hey, y/n,” he murmured, his eyes bright. “Ask me why the date sucked.”

You furrowed your brows, unsure but you followed his command anyway.

“Why did your date suck?”

“Because it wasn’t with you,” he replied, leaning closer until he was inches away and you were a hairsbreadth away from kissing. “You were all I could think about and it got to the point where I accidentally called them by your name.”

“Now, tell me. Can I finally do the honors of taking you out on a date?” he questioned.

“Yeah,” you answered, your breathing hitching as he closed the distance between the two of you.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.”

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[fe-fictions]

Do you have something with Priam ? He's my favorite character of all times !!! Btw I'm so happy when you re upload all the stories ! 😊

(Maybe just a cup of hurt and comfort with priam ;0)

You’d never seen him so down in your entire life. It was strange; Priam was never one to let words affect him, yet he was practically sulking in his tent.

To think mere minutes ago, he was perfectly fine.

-------------------------

Finishing a sparring match with a few willing soldiers, Priam bested them with a fair amount of ease. Nobody could stand up to his might, which made you love him all the more.

“I can’t believe how powerful that guy is!” One soldier said to the other. You smiled, nudging his shoulder and passed him a cloth.

“They’re talking about you.” “Of course they are. It’s not every day they fight a real warrior.” He replied simply, though he did sit up a little straighter at the thought of being spoken highly of.

“I’ll bet it’s because of where he’s from.” The former, also defeated quickly by Priam, said back.

“And what do you mean by that?” The blue-haired sword master jumped in, making both look up at him.

“Oh, you know! Because you’re a descendant of the hero, Ike!”

Priam visibly tensed.

“I suppose that might have something to do with it, but you must understand that my strength comes from years of training. I've only ever lived for the sword. I believe that’s the only reason why.”

“Sure, but it must be because of Ike, too.” The other soldier said, waving his hand dismissively. “You just can’t beat someone who’s a descendant of that beast!”

Priam’s facade disappeared. You reached out to comfort him, but he turned away, gripping his sword tightly.

“Perhaps you do have a point.”

“Priam, wait.” You called after him, but he didn’t stop. The pair of men earned a sharp glare from the hero’s wife, sending chills down both their spines.

“W-what? Did we say something wrong?”

“You have no idea.” You grumbled, turning on your heel to pursue the dauntless warrior, knowing his mood was ruined. -------------------------

Stepping into the tent, you saw him leaning over the sword, and if you didn’t know any better you would have thought him injured.

“Priam?”

“...I can’t believe they said that.” He mumbled in defeat, gripping the sword tighter in his hands.

You sighed, coming to sit next to him and place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“You’d think being a descendant of the greatest Hero ever would be a compliment.” You said lightly, but Priam shook his head, his expression far from amused.

“Not when he overshadows you in every way.” He replied in an ominous tone that made a twinge of concern touch your heart.

“What do you mean?”

Priam exhaled heavily as he looked to you, a strange sadness in his eyes.

“As long as I remember, people have always compared us. He’s been idolized as some fantastic warrior whose skills are unmatched. No matter what I did to try and surpass him, it wasn’t enough. My abilities are beaten by someone l never knew”

“I blame the exaggerated stories.” You commented, slipping your hand from his shoulder to his forearm. “Though I can see why that would upset you.”

“I’m...proud of my lineage, truly. But it’s hard to be when you’re seen as less than those before you. It gets exhausting.”

“I can understand that.” You murmured, leaning your head against his shoulder.

If you were in a similar position, you knew you’d feel just as frustrated as he did.

“...If it’s any consolation,” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I think you’re stronger than Ike, in more ways than one. At the very least, you’ve matched his strength. You're one of the strongest warriors I’ve ever had the pleasure of battling. Surely that counts for something.”

“I should hope it does.” He said softly, moving his hand his sword to clasp yours. “I suppose it’s not so bad, nowadays.”

“No? You were just complaining about it.” You pointed out, making him look at you with a note of annoyance.

“What I mean, is that I can deal with foolish people,” He leaned closer, touching his nose to yours, “So long as I have your approval.”

“Feeling romantic, are we?” You blushed at the close proximity but held your ground. “Well, trust me when I tell you, I think you’re better than everybody else, especially Ike.”

“You have my thanks for that, my radiant wife.” He grinned, his forehead touching yours.

You looped your arms about his neck and gave him a squeeze. “So, do you feel better, now?”

“Much.” He confirmed, offering a small smile when he pulled away. “It takes a special person to do what you can do.”

“What I do, huh?” You grinned, slipping away from him. “And what is that, exactly?”

“Normally, when people compare me to Ike, I end up in my tent for a week, at least.”

“...You sulk in your tent for a week?”

“I wouldn’t call it sulking. It’s more akin to brooding over my failures without socializing or interacting with the outside world.”

“That's different?” You blanched, watching his deadly serious expression when he nodded. You laughed, shaking your head.

Priam certainly was a piece of work.

You mumble to yourself as you stand, “At least you have Ike beat in the drama department.”

“What was that??”

“Nothing!”