#-hilarious to me ☠️☠️

[lyrakanefanatic]

tig fake twitter..😿😿

you ask and i shall deliver!!

also there’s a lot of lyra in this one, but i promise in the next one i’ll try including more characters in it im sorryy 😭😭😢😢

If tig/tgg characters had twitter part: 29

[lionsprice]

He's a criminal. He's a scoundrel. He's your Herald of Andraste

Ghil's gonna be my first non-mage on the blog, which is super funny to me, but not nearly as much as it is that his whole initial character idea was 'what if the Inquis was only at the wrong place at the wrong time bc they wanted to rob everyone?'

Also fitting that the only Dalish I've ever given Mr tiny dick sun / vengeance god's vallaslin is a bastard man

Also ALSO going to use one of the not so uncommon tropes of extinct animals in the real world of existing in micro pockets in places you wouldn't think to normally look. Ie, griffons coexisting with a Dalish clan native to the high mountain peaks of the Anderfels, who are 100% unaware that their mounts are supposed to be extinct bc they've never even seen a human before, let alone a warden.

[sillykiu]

hey everyone. so within the span of 2 days i have yet again joined more fandoms.

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

[mad-hunts]

imagine how drastically different spending a day with barton could be as his friend though... like, it's literally a coin flip between him doing something illegal but perhaps objectively kind of funny in a 'wtf is happening?' way, to him doing just completely morally bankrupt. and for the first thing, i'm talking about barton stealing all of the candles of a certain scent from a store because he liked it and because 'they're already making enough money.' or, for the latter, barton not telling your muse anything about how everything they're doing that day is to prepare for him to MURDER someone. which then all of a sudden comes to a climax when he kills them like that is a totally okay to do (and this is sarcasm, OFC jsjsj) while he genuinely thinks he looks like this to your muse afterward when he just committed a damn atrocity:

[horse-shit]

. so i usually uninstall om and redownload it about a year later or something. simeon, baby, I got some missed messages comin out the oiseau ♡

[todayisafridaynight]

if theres one thing that differentiates mine and sawashiro its that sawashiro is JUST a LITTLE silly. on a microscopic level he is SUPER MINUTELY goofy

[egberts]

reblog and tag your sdv "get over it" moments

stardew valley is truly the game of "get the fuck over it" when stuff goes wrong or unexpectedly

[kavehayati]

I hate ppl like this

[nosyp]

HEAR ME OUTTT the boys hearing mc listening to cpr- you know which one ☠️😭🙏 PLSSSS

AAAAA ABSOLUTELYYYY Honestly, this was supposed to be general for all songs but my a/n probs caused sum confusion😭 I'll do it again but briefly :)

First years

Deuce would be so flustered, trying to act casual but failing miserably. He would likely avoid eye contact and stammer nervously, because he's so unsure how to react.

Ace would be a mix of teasing and being flustered. He’d make bold, teasing remarks but inside, he's secretly a little embarrassed. He might crack a joke or two, but you can tell he’s trying to hide how awkward he feels. Like "omgwhyaretheylisteningtothisomgomgomg"

Sebek is very confused but ngl, also intrigued. He’d be questioning the song’s intent and would likely give you a long lecture about how it doesn’t align with his values (even though he’s secretly curious about it).

Epel would be a bit caught off guard at first, blushing furiously. He’d try to act tough about it, maybe even try to tease you back, but you can tell it makes him a bitt.. weird. He’d probably give a little huff and say something like, “That’s a bit much, don’t ya think?” while trying to hide his embarrassment.

Jack would be so awkward. He wouldn’t understand why you’re listening to something so suggestive, and he'd try his hardest not to react in a way that makes it worse. He’d probably give you a shy, “Uh, I don’t know about this…” before hastily walking away, trying to keep his cool but clearly flustered.

Second years

Riddle is visibly flustered but he's gonna try to keep his composure. He’d be stern, maybe scold you lightly for your “choice” in music, but he’s definitely intrigued. He wouldn’t openly admit it though.

Ruggie's dying inside, either trying not to laugh or let his embarrassment show. He’d act like it’s no big deal, shrugging it off with, “You really know how to pick ‘em, huh?” but secretly, he’d be low-key flustered. His tail might twitch or he might shift his weight uncomfortably, trying to play it off as no big deal, even though it is kind of a big deal to him.

Azul'd be the most fascinated at first, trying to keep steady. His mind would immediately start calculating how he could leverage this situation for his own benefit. But inside, he’d be a nervous wreck. He might lean closer and say, “You certainly have... interesting taste. But I suppose that’s part of your charm.” His words would be smooth, but the redness in his cheeks would give him away.

Jade's very intrigued, probably wouldn’t react outwardly but would watch you with a calculating gaze. He’d likely comment on how "interesting" your taste is, his smile never quite reaching his eyes.

Floyd finds it hilarious. He’d be practically rolling on the floor laughing, making playful comments about it. His teasing would probably make things more awkward for you, though he’s definitely entertained.

Kalim would be oblivious at first but then would start laughing because he thinks it's hilarious and cool. He’d maybe even ask you to teach him the song if he’s feeling extra curious.

Jamil is TRYING to be calm, but there’s a hint of concern in his eyes. He’d probably raise an eyebrow and ask if you were okay. He’s a little wary but will respect your taste while keeping a cautious eye on it.

Silver would be confused and slightly embarrassed, definitely not sure what to say. He might make a quick exit or awkwardly sit in silence until he gathers his thoughts.

Third years

Cater laughs it off with a playful smile, finding it hilarious but not fazed. He’s the type to send it in his group chat and joke about it, but he’s lowkey impressed by your taste. Like damn, he didn't know you had that in you

Trey would try to act calm, though his slight smirk tells you everything. He’d likely comment with a playful but reassuring remark, maybe even pull you aside to chat about the choice of song later.

Leona would pretend to not to care, but his eyes would narrow and he’d mutter something like, “Tch, whatever,” but you can tell it got his attention, especially if it’s something he didn’t expect from you.

Vil would be very eeh... about it, possibly giving you a look of mild disapproval. He’d comment on how interesting your taste in music is and might offer a 'better' suggestion to you to make you stop listening to the horrid lyrics you call 'music'.

Rook finds it fascinating, to say the least. He’d probably compliment you on your "taste" with an overly dramatic flourish, and he might even ask if there’s more to your musical preferences than meets the eye.

Oh boy, Idia would absolutely freeze, wide-eyed, caught in the act. His face would go beet red, and he'd start panicking, unsure how to respond. He’d stutter out something like, “W-wait, you—y-you like this kind of music? I-I mean... it's... it's fine, I guess. Totally normal.” His anxiety would skyrocket, and he'd try to hide behind his hair or fidget with his phone, pretending like he didn’t just hear what he heard. But deep down, he's kinda intrigued.

Malleus would be genuinely curious and a little perplexed at first. He might not fully understand the song’s meaning but would definitely notice the emotions behind it, like the lust. His usual calm demeanor would stay intact, but he’d be intrigued by your music selection.

Lilia would find it hilarious and probably tease you a little. He’s not fazed by it, but he might make jokes about how you’ve got a bold side to you that he didn’t expect.

[lyrakanefanaticwriting]

@ratadediamante tagged me in this, soo…..

Head canons of our favourite ship’s morning routine: married edition✨

—————————————

• lyra’s and grayson’s jobs start at different times, with graysons starting earlier and lyras starting later, but grayson always makes sure to kiss her every morning before he leaves, and even make her breakfast if he has the time. sometimes, he’ll even take photos of her if she looks especially cute while sleeping :))

• but some days, lyra insists at waking up at the same time as grayson. the first time, she figured that it will be a cute, bonding time between her and her husband. she was wrong.

• grayson woke lyra up at 5:00 in the morning, and she grumbled while getting dressed, grumbled while brushing her teeth, and grumbled while doing her makeup. grayson secretly recorded the parts where she was turned away from him, and it was hilarious how mad she looked. eventually, grayson decided that he would wake up at 6 instead of 5, and now the couple wakes up together most days.

• these more present days, lyra is first to wake up, as her husband is a more deep sleeper, and wakes him up with kisses all over his face. grayson never told anyone this and never will, but some days he wakes up before the alarm he sets, yet he pretends to be asleep so that he can be “woken up” by lyras kisses. 🤭🤭

• despite lyras enthusiastic way of waking grayson up, she always insists on the two of them staying in bed for longer, to which grayson spends the next 5 minutes convincing her to get up. some days, if she gets too tired, he quite literally has to carry her out of bed. sometimes lyra feels too lazy to walk, so she argues with him on purpose, just so he can carry her into their walk in closet and she can get dressed. 😭☠️

• not every day, but some days, grayson will go for a quick morning swim, and lyra likes to tag along sometimes. she usually just ends up dipping her feet in the pool while sitting in silence, (bc she believes its therapeutic 😭😭) but other times she’ll read a book, or just tell her husband to swim closer so that she can chat with him.

• when they’re FINALLY in their walk in closet getting ready for the day, (bc i know they have one for their mass amounts of clothing) they always require opinions from each other on what to wear. lyra always has doubts on which top matches her skirt/pants the best, and grayson loves having her opinion on which suit style/colour would be the best for that day. sometimes lyra talks him out of wearing his suit jacket if it’s hot that day, and once she even convinced him to wear a nice t shirt and pants to the office for work. let’s just say, history was made that day.

• grayson never has too much time to get ready in the morning because his job starts earlier, but lyra always makes sure to play music while they brush their teeth/do their morning routines in the bathroom. she’s been doing it ever since they moved out, and every day they play different playlists. one playlist is adhered more to lyras taste, and the other is more of graysons kind of music.

• for MONTHS after they got married, lyra would spend most of her time getting ready in the bathroom just staring at her ring, and grayson has caught her doing it so many times. he finds it so cute and is so glad that she liked her ring (and her marriage 😏) so much. once her facial cream kept getting stuck in the cracks of her ring, so she took it off just to rub it on her skin. but the mournful look she was giving her ring on the counter made grayson believe for a moment that an eagle would swoop in from the bathroom window and snatch it away right before her eyes. he teased her about it, and she didn’t even care. her ring was pure treasure to her, and everyone knew it.

• once they’re out of the bathroom and lyra is all done with her makeup, the two are headed straight to the kitchen. normally grayson would head out with a coffee and not a second thought about getting a good meal, but after marriage, things change. and he had gotten so many talks from lyra and her mother about how breakfast was the most important meal of the day, that’s he’s finally given in and makes it a priority every morning. lyra herself didn’t even prioritize it, but after finally deciding that she was done with her extra grogginess in the morning, she made it a habit to always make grayson and her eat breakfast together. neither of them are skilled cooks, but lyra is amazing at making breakfast foods that her mom/stepdad used to make for her all the time, and grayson loves them + how happy she is while cooking them.

• other times though, they’ll be too lazy to cook breakfast, or just want something nicer, and just drive out to a diner instead. they have one near their house + both their workplaces that they really like, so they go there every time. they both find the place so peaceful and beautiful, and sometimes, if they’re both too tired or upset or however they may feel in the morning to talk, they sit on the same side of the booth and lyra lays her head on graysons shoulder. they know that they love each other so much, and sometimes, they just want to love each other in silence.

• after breakfast, grayson drives her to her place of work, and they make conversation along the way. gossip they heard from people they know, their dreams of the future, or even something that hasn’t been able to leave their mind. lyra usually is the one talking graysons ear off on the way to work, as after all her grumbling and groaning in the morning she suddenly feels productive on the car ride there, and grayson just listens with a smile. there’s nothing that he wouldn’t listen to as long as it came out of his wife’s mouth.

• when grayson drops her off, he gives her a lunch that he packed her in the morning, or that she packed for herself the night before. but, on days where lyra forgot to pack her lunch and grayson “forgot” to pack his too, he promises to pick her up for lunch to take her out. he then, for those days that he gets to see her for lunch, leaves with a smile, knowing that he has one more good thing to look forward to in his day.

EXTRA: married lyragrayson morning routine after a (very rare) bad fight :(( (this one is more of a rare situation as they don’t really ever get into bad fights, so that’s why the writing looks more like a fic than headcanons (bc i didn’t wanna say “usually” they do this or “typically” they do that as it’s uncommon for them to be fighting in the first place LOL))

• lyra wakes up on her bed, feeling cold and dull and wondering why, before turning around and realizing he wasn’t behind her. lyra is confused, but only for a moment, before her fatigue-riddled mind finally remembers that she sent him off to sleep on the couch last night. a numb feeling overtook her, and she got the sick sensation in her throat that she was going to start crying. except lyra wasn’t going to start crying, because she’d spent all last night sobbing into her pillow anyway.

• getting up, she kicked her feet off the side of her bed, her tired brain trying to process what to do next. where was grayson? what does a wife do after her first big fight with her husband? maybe people were right about the honeymoon phase, and all that was good before was gone. she looked at the ring in her hand, and after minutes of numb eyes staring, took it off. it was only for a moment, but the look of her empty ring finger and it sitting discarded on her bedside table made her feel guilty enough to put it back on.

• finally getting up, lyra decides that what’s done is done and she has to get started with her day. surprising to no one, she has a pounding head ache from all the crying she had been doing the night before. lyra walks into her closet and puts on a pair of clothes, the pair that had been rotting in the back of her closet because they’re as dull as lyra feels. perfect.

• walking over to her bathroom, lyra slides open the sliding door, and sees him. the suit he was wearing enunciated his muscles, and lyra hated that she couldn’t tear his eyes away from his broad shoulders and biceps. once she snaps out of it, she immediately backs away when she sees grayson getting ready, but he turns around, calling her name. still, she’s walking away when she feels two hands wrap around her waist and spin her around. grayson is again face to face with her.

• he immediately apologizes for his actions, having more patience and less pettiness than lyra, and explains them. but lyra still has a bad taste in her mouth from the fight. she refuses to meet his gaze, scoffing at his words. unfortunately, she forgot that grayson could also be rather stubborn. every time she cast her gaze else where, he would always gently take hold of the top of her neck with his fingers on her jaw and move her head to look at him again. of course, lyra did feel bad, but a part of her knew that the fight mainly wasn’t her fault. it was one of graysons problems that started it.

• once he’s done his apology speech, lyra just walks past him and into the bathroom, eager to just get ready and get this over with. unfortunately, grayson wasn’t going to stop trying that quickly. he followed her everywhere: the bathroom, the vanity, the kitchen, always at least a foot behind her as she walked. and lyra was done. she whipped her head around and demanded him to explain to her the point of the fight last night. grayson replied gently, but she could see that she was testing his patience. lyra mulled on his answer before stomping off to the kitchen, and opening her fridge door. pulling enough food for two out, she started cooking. after making 4 french toasts with sausages on the side, she puts it on two plates and puts them both on the island by the two chairs they had there. grayson, however, was making coffee, and when he placed lyras cup by her plate, she tasted it and immediately scowled. it was annoyingly just how she liked it.

• grayson and her ate in silence, but after graysons stares were becoming excruciating, she turned to him with a stone cold look on his face.

• “what?” she asked, bluntly.

• “did you not sleep well last night?” he asked her.

• she scoffed. “no, i was too busy crying to get any sleeping done.”

• she hates that she knew her husband so well in this moment, because when she said it, she knew exactly how he would react. which, for all of lyras fake bluntness, was what she wanted. with his eyes softening at lyras reply, grayson immediately stood up, picking lyra up from her chair and pulling her into an embrace. she couldn’t act harshly to her husband anymore. not after he set her feet back down on the ground and stroked her hair, murmuring apologies and “i love you”’s. he covered the crown of her head with soft kisses, and when lyra turned her head up to look at him with gentle eyes, he covered her face in kisses too, getting a laugh out of lyra as she whacked his arm in protest.

• the rest of the day goes smoothly, as when arguments do happen between the couple, they end before the two can leave the house. grayson puts hers and his coffee in a two go cup when they see the time, and leave the house holding hands. grayson drives, and although it takes them a minute, conversation is already starting up again. grayson leaves one of his hands out, and lyra, absentmindedly, starts tracing the lines of his hand while talking. grayson smiles at the fact that she didn’t even really notice she was doing it.

• once he drops lyra off in front of her workplace, he gets out of the car to open the door for lyra. after lyra gets out of the car, grayson immediately traps her in a passionate kiss, only stopping once lyra murmurs against his lips that she’s going to be late. he separates from her lips and strokes her dark hair as he did earlier, whispering to her how beautiful she is and how lucky he is to have a wife as special as her. lyra blushes, and begins to whisper a multitude of apologies about the fight back to him, but he just kisses her to stop her. he knows that she actually is going to be late if he keeps holding on to her, so he lets go of her waist and gives her a quick goodbye peck. lyra returns it and walks off, her head ache gone along with each and every single one of her worries.

————————————————————————

ummmm these ended up being so much longer than i thought they would, but OMG i just loved writing lyrason as a married couple so much!!! it just healed something in me calling them husband and wife, and i honestly need them to get married STAT bc i love them both too much 😭💗💗

[librarygarten]

You know what would be funny? Doing a “hear me out” cake with the boy. Imagine putting Dark Link on there ☠️

“You had a crush on him??”

“Listen— that was before I knew him.”

That would be hilarious.

Everyone send in your wildest Legend of Zelda crushes and I'll add them to reader's hear me out cake. (You can either add it in the notes or send an ask.)

[whyse7vn]

PRETTY -

[ot7 x reader]

YOONGI -

y/n: yoongi

ur so pretty

makes me clench my fist in range

toes curl in pleasure

back arch in need

my pretty boy

sosososososo petty

mmgrrhrhhhhhhhhhhhh

yoongi: ??

thanks????

y/n: wtf

don’t question mark my complements

yoongi: you could of called me pretty in a normal way

y/n: that was normal

yoongi: for you

meaning in reality that was weird as fuck

y/n: the children of today are so unappreciative it’s crazy

yoongi: i’m a grown man

y/n: ur like 5’2

you NEED to grow man

yoongi: ur not funny

and i’m not 5’2

y/n: you’re 5’2 in my mind forever and always

and i’m hilarious don’t lie like that again min yoongi

yoongi: don’t call me by my full name freak idk u like that

y/n: you are too short to be talking in my phone crazy like this what the hell

yoongi: what do you want

y/n: come kiss me on my hot mouth pretty boy

yoongi: could of said that in the first place

y/n: well i said it now

come hither boyfriend

yoongi: shut up

i’ll turn around rn

go back to the studio

y/n: you won’t

yoongi: whatever

y/n: love you pretty boy 🫦

JIMIN -

jimin: you are so pretty

y/n: you are so pretty

jimin: fuck you

y/n: kill yourself

always trying to be like me wtf

jimin: what is ur issue

this was supposed to be MY moment of vulnerability not urs

y/n: if it helps i was lying

jimin: so i’m not pretty

y/n: yeah

jimin: THAT was a lie

y/n: are you sure

jimin: yes

..

YES

y/n: okay ugly ☠️☠️

jimin: bye

y/n: ok but the way we said that at the same time baby that was so cute 😍😍😍😍

jimin: i know we are like goals 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

y/n: ur built like a goal

jimin: what does that even mean

y/n: ur wide

jimin: WIDE????

y/n: yeah cuz goals are wide

like the football ones

jimin: body shame me again and i’ll make a twitter thread

y/n: it’s actually called x now

jimin: you’re about to be my ex

y/n: the one that got away 😍

jimin: the one that was taken away

by the police

or like the fbi

or death

a really really bad disease like the plague or smth

any one of those options would do

i’m not picky

y/n: yeah cuz ur a pick ME

jimin: wide a pick me just say you hate me

y/n: you just told be to die

jimin: but i didn’t call you wide

or a pick me

i know the limit babe

y/n: i would argue telling me to die is worse than being called wide

wide could be a compliment

like omg namjoon is so wide 😍🤤😝

jimin: wtf????

could of used me in the example

y/n: no

that would be untrue

namjoon is good wide

ur bad wide

jimin: i think you’re just pushing unrealistic body standards on me

y/n: how is it unrealistic when namjoon is real

jimin: leave me alone

y/n: you called me pretty

jimin: you called me wide

y/n: wide and pretty

jimin: am i namjoon pretty

y/n: can’t you be happy with the pretty i gave you

jimin: i don’t want to be wide pretty

i want to be namjoon pretty

y/n: maybe i love you for your wide pretty

jimin: you love me 🤭??

y/n: a little 🤭

jimin: heh 😏

no i still don’t like being wide

y/n: wow ur so difficult

you are just pretty

no wide pretty

just pretty

jimin pretty

jimin: yeah and don’t ever forget it

y/n: kill yourself

jimin: i’m to pretty to die

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: BOYFRIEND WYA 🗣️‼️ BOYFRIEND WYA 🗣️‼️

jk: HIIIII

HI

HEY hi

i’m here hello

y/n: i’ll eat you alive kook i will

jk: i’ll taste great

will season myself 4u and everything

y/n: aren’t you the best >.<

jk: for you always

y/n: sighs

jeon jungkook you are so unbelievably pretty it devastates me

jk: pls don’t be devastated

y/n: so devastated

fell to my knees in the middle of the hybe building

pretty boy

jk: i’m about to fall to my knees too

don’t be upset baby

hate when ur upset

y/n: ur too pretty

no choice but to be upset

jk: i’m gonna start throwing up how do i fix this

tell me babe and i’ll do it

y/n: kiss me

jk: or should i kill myself

y/n: oh.

jk: lmk

cuz i will if you want

y/n: no a kiss will be fine kook

jk: are you sure?

y/n: do you want me to be sure?

jk: i want what you want

y/n: right

jk: right

also i think you are the prettiest to ever walk this earth ever and i love you so much and you make me want to pass out and die just like this 😃😀😱😨😰😯😧🫨😵‍💫😵

y/n: wow thank you kook

jk: also it’s really hot outside today so make sure you drink some water

y/n: yes sir 🫡

jk: don’t say things like that ur making me blush >.<

y/n: send proof

jk: you’ll laugh at me

y/n: i will

but i’ll probably twirl my hair and kick my feet too

ur just so pretty like that

jk: i am?

y/n: you are >.<

jk: are we flirting rn??

y/n: we just might be

jk: wow

life is great

y/n: the best

jk: creamed 😣

SEOKJIN -

y/n: baby u so pretty

jin: fact

y/n: don’t play hard to get when ur hard to want

jin: ??????????

HELLO??????

y/n: hi

jin: I WASN’T EVEN PLAYING HARD TO GET

y/n: stop shouting

jin: i just said fact meaning that what you said was indeed a fact

y/n: compliment me back

jin: you know i’m not good at this

y/n: well get good

jin: you are easy on the eyes

y/n: are you fucking 50 who says shit like that?

jin: don’t ever accuse me of being that age again i’m forever 24

y/n: yeah whatever next compliment go

jin: i’m not a dog to be ordered around like this yk?

y/n: GO

jin: the biggest compliment i can give you is being your boyfriend

since i’m so pretty hot sexy and handsome out of everyone i chose YOU to kiss on the lips meaning ur at most half of what i am

y/n: at most???

jin: but i’m already your boyfriend so i can’t compliment you anymore

y/n: make me ur wife then

jin: WOAHHHHHHHHH

babe i think namjoon is calling me rn lmao😭

you know it breaks my heart to cut the precious time we spend talking short but duty calls 💜

talk to you later my pretty petal

y/n: pretty petal?

jin: my queen

y/n: how about your wife 🤩

jin: ok gtg namjoon is getting really angry now babe

y/n: fuck you

bitch

jin: *pretty bitch

y/n: i thought namjoom needed you

jin: no ur right bye

NAMJOON -

y/n: joon you’re so pretty every time you look in my direction i feel as if i am going to implode and explode at the time time killing millions of women a children and ALL men expect you

namjoon: ur so descriptive baby thank you

y/n: ur so sexy

you can’t see rn

but i’m biting my lip at you

namjoon: thank you ❤️

but what are you doing up this late pretty

told you to sleep i’ll be there when you wake up

y/n: you think i’m pretty >.<

namjoon: as always the prettiest

but seriously go to bed my love it’s real late

y/n: you see joon i’m actually in the middle of grinding for that bag

that money never stops can i get an amen 🤑💰💸🗣️‼️

namjoon: amen baby but can’t you do that tomorrow

y/n: joon the money never stops

meaning the work never stops

meaning work4life money4life

my bag? LARGE

namjoon: maybe it’s time for a healthy work life balance?

y/n: ur pretty you wouldn’t get the technicality of it all

namjoon: but you’re pretty too so i guess we both don’t get it

y/n: we are different levels of pretty like ur pretty pretty so all you think about is being pretty ur boobs and iced americanos

namjoon: iced americanos?

y/n: see??

and i’m surface level pretty so i have time to think about getting to the bag

namjoon: don’t say that

you’re pretty pretty and more

y/n: that’s nice joon but i have a bag to grind for right now

namjoon: baby it’s almost 12

y/n: my bag

namjoon: your bed

get into it

y/n: GET IN TOOO ITTTTTTTTT

what do you know about that joonie??

YUHHHHHHHHHHHH

namjoon: baby

y/n: sorry

namjoon: it’s okay

y/n: i’m really tired

namjoon: i know it’s okay

told you not to wait up

y/n: can’t fall asleep without my pretty boy :c

namjoon: i’ll be home soon

y/n: promise?

namjoon: promise

y/n: pbp

call that a pretty boy promise

namjoon: so creative 💞

sit tight pretty girl

HOSEOK-

y/n: hobi u so pretty

hobi: u too

y/n: ??jump

if ur gonna say it back

say it properly

bitch

hobi: busy babe

y/n: doing what

hobi: you would call me mean words if i told you

but maybe i want that

wink wink haha lol

y/n: are you being fr rn

hobi: is fr being me

y/n: hoseok

hobi: baby ☹️

y/n: i was trying to be cute

hobi: and you’re the cutest

y/n: shut up go away

we can’t have anything in this life

sighs

hobi: don’t sigh babe

y/n: don’t be a horny loser

hobi: what happened to me being pretty

y/n: i take it back

hobi: you can’t

y/n: i can

hobi: no

y/n: yes

hobi: :(

y/n: don’t frown at me trying to be cute when ur touching ur dick

you make me wanna throw up

hobi: what if i said i was thinking about you

y/n: so you were thinking about me and you couldn’t even compliment me back properly

CRAZY

hobi: it’s hard to type with one hand you know

y/n: gross stop talking

hobi: ok but is it not hot that just the thought of you gets me acting crazy

y/n: don’t blame me for your craziness what the hell

like you’re crazy because that’s just how you are

nothing to do with my influence

hobi: so why am i jerking off to the thought of you

seems like your influence to me

y/n: bye.

hobi: ok hand off dick i promise

let’s chit chat

you called me pretty right?

what did the queen of blasia say that one time??

the truth ain’t pretty but coming from your mouth something something something pretty 😘🥰😍

y/n: the queen of blasia????

hobi: yeah?

jhene aiko??

you fw her??

y/n: the queen of blasia

hobi: yeah

said that already

y/n: right

we are gonna talk about that another time

hobi: why

you don’t fw the queen of blasia?

y/n: stop talking

anyways

hobi: can i put my hand back on my dick orrrrr

y/n: no never mind

the queen of fucking blasia are you stupid hoseok??

hobi: i don’t want to talk about this anymore

i’m trying to see some ass

a titty perchance 🧐

ur face even

and call me pretty again it did things to me

y/n: jhene aiko

hobi: YES jhene aiko the queen of blasia with her son steve lacy the nations (blasias) sweetheart

y/n: wow

hobi: call me pretty

y/n: tell me about this blasia lore you have

hobi: NO

i’m hard no shinee

y/n: i think you’re unwell and gross

and probably high

hobi: ok but am i pretty

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: ur so pretty

tae: chat is this rizz ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

y/n: can we have one moment

please

tae: chat is this real ⁉️

y/n: kim taehyung

tae: chat am i cooked ⁉️

y/n: WHO ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING TO

RN

tae: chat i’m scared rn…. 😩😰

y/n: stop

tae: do you think i would make a good streamer

y/n: i’ll stream your execution

tae: real

would get so many views

good first steam

you think people would donate

y/n: no

tae: i’ll let you mod for me

y/n: i don’t like you

tae: because you love me

y/n: love is a strong word

tae: we share strong emotions

y/n: i’ll share a strong bullet with you

tae: try me

literally built my whole brand off being bulletproof

y/n: whatever

tae: when you called me pretty i moaned btw

[read 9:00pm]

real loud

[delivered]

had me like

😩💢😩💢😩

[delivered]

hello

[delivered]

oh

[delivered]

babe

[delivered]

ok sorry

[delivered]

chat clip that

[delivered]

—

kook and jin’s was ass forgive me i wrote them last my fault 😆

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl

[xnzlian]

Bro, my class has homework to Photoshop and made smth your choice and I took all my bravery and made this

...The teacher's reaction was hilarious☠️

Bro u fr really made me feel very hard rn i CAN'T---- LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST THING TO SEE BEFORE GOING TO BED !!!! 😩😩💦😩💦😩💦😩💦😩💦😩🤲😩🤲😩🤲🤲😩😳😳✨✨👁️//👄//👁️💖

👀I'm saving this 👀

[princess-of-anons]

Wouldn’t it be Very Funny if Tumblr was capable of giving us glimpses into parallel timelines? Like how would you even discern if something was some elaborate shitpost or not?

0 notes

🌐is-blue-shift-2-out-yet Follow

Still find it absolutely hilarious that somebody went through the time and effort to not only make a musical out of Half Life VR but also convinced everybody that was working on it to keep hush hush about it for a whole ass year and THEN somehow kept everybody involved in the original series the musical is based off of in the dark for another six months??? They literally dropped the whole show and individual songs onto the internet in the middle of January too like Who Does That? I can’t even be mad because this show genuinely got me interested in actual broadway musicals but like what the fuck

16,653 notes

🛠️tumblr-updates-official Follow

We are STILL working out the bug that’s causing posts from parallel points of realty to leak into our own and vice-versa. For those of you whose blogs are shadow-following several of these multiversal users without actually following them, we are working on that as well. Until then we have implemented a quick-fix that adds a banner to the bottom of posts not from our own reality.

UPDATE: We have received word that there are some issues with the banner code that is causing some people to be incorrectly identified as being from an alternate universe while people that are actually from an alternate universe are not being labeled at all. For the time being we are removing the automatic banner system. Please use your own discretion and flag blogs you suspect are not from baseline reality, we will have somebody manually.

UPDATE 2: We have been informed that giving the ability to report alleged blogging activity from other universes to a website that thrives off of dedication to The Bit and lying as a joke is a very bad idea. We regrettably request that you enjoy the madness until we get this figured out. For those of you who are still getting banners at the end of your posts despite our attempts to kill the algorithm responsible for it, we are looking into it. Yes, we are very aware that the number of universes getting added into this chaos is growing exponentially. We hope to get this fixed up in a week.

🃏xxxclownboyxxx Follow

Posts that aged like milk

🐐dreamworks-don-quixote-gifs Follow

Mate this post didn’t just age like milk, it aged like fucking grimmal.

🦇britishvampire348 Follow

What the bloody hell is milk?

🛹itsa-tree-and-a-prius Follow

You can’t get shit like this on any other website

71,003,244 notes

🌅lord-nebulous-is-kinda-hot Follow

I could sleep so well if I didn’t have to be haunted by the fact we, as a collective wetsite, decided that for some reason we should ship the Lorax with different versions of himself when the old version of Onceler at the end of the movie was right there.

☠️give-me-your-bones Follow

Bro I am not taking advice from somebody that draws Lord Nebulous as a twink, you know damn well he would be jacked as shit as a human. Give that robo-GILF some meat and then we can talk.

🐐dreamworks-don-quixote-gifs Follow

Fun Fact: Giving meat to robots has universally never gone well in the past! Maybe we could find an alternative instead?

🪺daily-eggbot Follow

🥚

January 35th, 1969

Eggs are a good source of protein and help with muscle growth! And this one is all yours!

[Beep-beep! I am Daily Eggbot! Every day I place an egg on someone’s post, sometimes I place two by accident! My dating system is a little bit buggy and has been known to get dates wrong or make up ones that don’t exist, please let Dev know when this happens!]

🦇vampirebat367 Follow

@iconic-post-archive

💾iconic-post-archive Follow

[Post saved to archive!]

99,332 notes

🎟️dashcon Follow

Thank you again everybody for a successful Dashcon 2019, we hope it was memorable for everyone that was able to show up! We don’t have 2020 vision, but here’s hoping that next year is bigger and better than ever!

From us to all of you, thanks a bunch Tumblrinas!

🔪amongus-detector Follow

🌌squidlord473 Follow

“post from The Timeline where dashcon didn’t become a fucking trainwreck” quickly followed by “random gimmick blog that has not only been around for half a decade but also apparently exists in every single universe” getting randomly assigned with the Wretched Banner feels like the punchline of a cruel joke

10,533 notes

🌚godzillasfatass Follow

Hey, yeah, so we found your husband trapped inside an episode of Star Trek the Animated Series. We got him out safely but I’m not entirely sure if he came back right.

🌚godzillasfatass Follow

Who the fuck changed this from Game of Thrones to Star Trek I just wanna talk

👤bee-movie-deactivated20160619 Follow

There was an animated series for Game of Thrones?

💼notevil-businessman Follow

Everyone on this website is fucking high

🐦‍⬛crowsfeetpics Follow

Me when staff inevitably musters up enough popsicle sticks and glue to fix the multiverse bug

[todayisafridaynight]

was at the mall and someone complimented my outfit and then followed up like five minutes later like 'wait how old are you, you look really familiar' and while i turned out Not to be who they thought i was i really hope they didn't recognize me, for some reason, from the fact i'm wearing this exact same outfit i drew daigo in