#-hilarious to me ☠️☠️

[lyrakanefanatic]

tig fake twitter..😿😿

you ask and i shall deliver!!

also there’s a lot of lyra in this one, but i promise in the next one i’ll try including more characters in it im sorryy 😭😭😢😢

If tig/tgg characters had twitter part: 29

[cedric-k-rossignol]

[sillykiu]

hey everyone. so within the span of 2 days i have yet again joined more fandoms.

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

[mad-hunts]

imagine how drastically different spending a day with barton could be as his friend though... like, it's literally a coin flip between him doing something illegal but perhaps objectively kind of funny in a 'wtf is happening?' way, to him doing just completely morally bankrupt. and for the first thing, i'm talking about barton stealing all of the candles of a certain scent from a store because he liked it and because 'they're already making enough money.' or, for the latter, barton not telling your muse anything about how everything they're doing that day is to prepare for him to MURDER someone. which then all of a sudden comes to a climax when he kills them like that is a totally okay to do (and this is sarcasm, OFC jsjsj) while he genuinely thinks he looks like this to your muse afterward when he just committed a damn atrocity:

[egberts]

reblog and tag your sdv "get over it" moments

stardew valley is truly the game of "get the fuck over it" when stuff goes wrong or unexpectedly

[mona-risms]

Oh my god.....imagine soloist reader dropping a song thats like,..freak level 9000,.. ☠️, girl anyone who understands the implications would not be able to listen too loud (unless they brave that is).

IMAGINE THE THREE huntrix ehe CATCHES THE HINTS/REALIZES HE SONG WAS ABOUT THEM HOLDON DONT MAKE FUN OF ME WAI- (GETS SNIPED AND DRAGGED AWAY)

I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS I THINK YOU WANNA UH NO YOU AIN'T GOT A MRS OH BUT YOU GOT A SPORTS CAR sorry anyway

If you can't be explicit in your relations with the HUNTR/X members through plain word of mouth then may as well make it Riskily Implicit in the details of a song that everyone's gonna be singing loud and proud on Tiktok before they analyse and realise that you're talking about FREAKY sex ("clinging to my skin like a lucky charm / tied up with knots / vibrating to the peak like a false alarm") LMAO

And even they're like vibing to it too, not just bc it's smth YOU made but also bc it's genuinely good!!! But then they see the MV. And then the actual performance. Bonus points if they're Right There, watching with the audience, and you PURPOSEFULLY do something in said performance to pertain to them without signalling to them. Whether it's looking at their general direction as you sing something specific, doing a move on your own or with your backup dancers that have them thinking Wait That's Familiar, or whatever. It could be literally anything

When they start to slowly puzzle it together, the emotions that flick through their faces at mach speed is absolutely HILARIOUS. They're like looking at each other (and probably at Rumi if her patterns are glowing with her post-movie) as they all simultaneously figure out like oh. Oh you're singing about the FILTHY fourway sex the four of you have behind closed doors via metaphors and ambiguous hinting. Oh you're talking about toys and edging and bondage and using their norigae/Korean knot logo to. And you're moving in the way you'd move when you. Oh. Oh wow!

Spoiler alert they jump you because what the FUCK you TERRIBLE TERRIBLE BEING YOU HORRIBLE PERSON now you have to Actually go Explicit with it. With them. In the bed. Yes! And you don't come out until the next day

Check the song they're all listening to via Insta and it's your song. HMMMM I wonder WHY

[nosyp]

HEAR ME OUTTT the boys hearing mc listening to cpr- you know which one ☠️😭🙏 PLSSSS

AAAAA ABSOLUTELYYYY Honestly, this was supposed to be general for all songs but my a/n probs caused sum confusion😭 I'll do it again but briefly :)

First years

Deuce would be so flustered, trying to act casual but failing miserably. He would likely avoid eye contact and stammer nervously, because he's so unsure how to react.

Ace would be a mix of teasing and being flustered. He’d make bold, teasing remarks but inside, he's secretly a little embarrassed. He might crack a joke or two, but you can tell he’s trying to hide how awkward he feels. Like "omgwhyaretheylisteningtothisomgomgomg"

Sebek is very confused but ngl, also intrigued. He’d be questioning the song’s intent and would likely give you a long lecture about how it doesn’t align with his values (even though he’s secretly curious about it).

Epel would be a bit caught off guard at first, blushing furiously. He’d try to act tough about it, maybe even try to tease you back, but you can tell it makes him a bitt.. weird. He’d probably give a little huff and say something like, “That’s a bit much, don’t ya think?” while trying to hide his embarrassment.

Jack would be so awkward. He wouldn’t understand why you’re listening to something so suggestive, and he'd try his hardest not to react in a way that makes it worse. He’d probably give you a shy, “Uh, I don’t know about this…” before hastily walking away, trying to keep his cool but clearly flustered.

Second years

Riddle is visibly flustered but he's gonna try to keep his composure. He’d be stern, maybe scold you lightly for your “choice” in music, but he’s definitely intrigued. He wouldn’t openly admit it though.

Ruggie's dying inside, either trying not to laugh or let his embarrassment show. He’d act like it’s no big deal, shrugging it off with, “You really know how to pick ‘em, huh?” but secretly, he’d be low-key flustered. His tail might twitch or he might shift his weight uncomfortably, trying to play it off as no big deal, even though it is kind of a big deal to him.

Azul'd be the most fascinated at first, trying to keep steady. His mind would immediately start calculating how he could leverage this situation for his own benefit. But inside, he’d be a nervous wreck. He might lean closer and say, “You certainly have... interesting taste. But I suppose that’s part of your charm.” His words would be smooth, but the redness in his cheeks would give him away.

Jade's very intrigued, probably wouldn’t react outwardly but would watch you with a calculating gaze. He’d likely comment on how "interesting" your taste is, his smile never quite reaching his eyes.

Floyd finds it hilarious. He’d be practically rolling on the floor laughing, making playful comments about it. His teasing would probably make things more awkward for you, though he’s definitely entertained.

Kalim would be oblivious at first but then would start laughing because he thinks it's hilarious and cool. He’d maybe even ask you to teach him the song if he’s feeling extra curious.

Jamil is TRYING to be calm, but there’s a hint of concern in his eyes. He’d probably raise an eyebrow and ask if you were okay. He’s a little wary but will respect your taste while keeping a cautious eye on it.

Silver would be confused and slightly embarrassed, definitely not sure what to say. He might make a quick exit or awkwardly sit in silence until he gathers his thoughts.

Third years

Cater laughs it off with a playful smile, finding it hilarious but not fazed. He’s the type to send it in his group chat and joke about it, but he’s lowkey impressed by your taste. Like damn, he didn't know you had that in you

Trey would try to act calm, though his slight smirk tells you everything. He’d likely comment with a playful but reassuring remark, maybe even pull you aside to chat about the choice of song later.

Leona would pretend to not to care, but his eyes would narrow and he’d mutter something like, “Tch, whatever,” but you can tell it got his attention, especially if it’s something he didn’t expect from you.

Vil would be very eeh... about it, possibly giving you a look of mild disapproval. He’d comment on how interesting your taste in music is and might offer a 'better' suggestion to you to make you stop listening to the horrid lyrics you call 'music'.

Rook finds it fascinating, to say the least. He’d probably compliment you on your "taste" with an overly dramatic flourish, and he might even ask if there’s more to your musical preferences than meets the eye.

Oh boy, Idia would absolutely freeze, wide-eyed, caught in the act. His face would go beet red, and he'd start panicking, unsure how to respond. He’d stutter out something like, “W-wait, you—y-you like this kind of music? I-I mean... it's... it's fine, I guess. Totally normal.” His anxiety would skyrocket, and he'd try to hide behind his hair or fidget with his phone, pretending like he didn’t just hear what he heard. But deep down, he's kinda intrigued.

Malleus would be genuinely curious and a little perplexed at first. He might not fully understand the song’s meaning but would definitely notice the emotions behind it, like the lust. His usual calm demeanor would stay intact, but he’d be intrigued by your music selection.

Lilia would find it hilarious and probably tease you a little. He’s not fazed by it, but he might make jokes about how you’ve got a bold side to you that he didn’t expect.

[lyrakanefanaticwriting]

@ratadediamante tagged me in this, soo…..

Head canons of our favourite ship’s morning routine: married edition✨

—————————————

• lyra’s and grayson’s jobs start at different times, with graysons starting earlier and lyras starting later, but grayson always makes sure to kiss her every morning before he leaves, and even make her breakfast if he has the time. sometimes, he’ll even take photos of her if she looks especially cute while sleeping :))

• but some days, lyra insists at waking up at the same time as grayson. the first time, she figured that it will be a cute, bonding time between her and her husband. she was wrong.

• grayson woke lyra up at 5:00 in the morning, and she grumbled while getting dressed, grumbled while brushing her teeth, and grumbled while doing her makeup. grayson secretly recorded the parts where she was turned away from him, and it was hilarious how mad she looked. eventually, grayson decided that he would wake up at 6 instead of 5, and now the couple wakes up together most days.

• these more present days, lyra is first to wake up, as her husband is a more deep sleeper, and wakes him up with kisses all over his face. grayson never told anyone this and never will, but some days he wakes up before the alarm he sets, yet he pretends to be asleep so that he can be “woken up” by lyras kisses. 🤭🤭

• despite lyras enthusiastic way of waking grayson up, she always insists on the two of them staying in bed for longer, to which grayson spends the next 5 minutes convincing her to get up. some days, if she gets too tired, he quite literally has to carry her out of bed. sometimes lyra feels too lazy to walk, so she argues with him on purpose, just so he can carry her into their walk in closet and she can get dressed. 😭☠️

• not every day, but some days, grayson will go for a quick morning swim, and lyra likes to tag along sometimes. she usually just ends up dipping her feet in the pool while sitting in silence, (bc she believes its therapeutic 😭😭) but other times she’ll read a book, or just tell her husband to swim closer so that she can chat with him.

• when they’re FINALLY in their walk in closet getting ready for the day, (bc i know they have one for their mass amounts of clothing) they always require opinions from each other on what to wear. lyra always has doubts on which top matches her skirt/pants the best, and grayson loves having her opinion on which suit style/colour would be the best for that day. sometimes lyra talks him out of wearing his suit jacket if it’s hot that day, and once she even convinced him to wear a nice t shirt and pants to the office for work. let’s just say, history was made that day.

• grayson never has too much time to get ready in the morning because his job starts earlier, but lyra always makes sure to play music while they brush their teeth/do their morning routines in the bathroom. she’s been doing it ever since they moved out, and every day they play different playlists. one playlist is adhered more to lyras taste, and the other is more of graysons kind of music.

• for MONTHS after they got married, lyra would spend most of her time getting ready in the bathroom just staring at her ring, and grayson has caught her doing it so many times. he finds it so cute and is so glad that she liked her ring (and her marriage 😏) so much. once her facial cream kept getting stuck in the cracks of her ring, so she took it off just to rub it on her skin. but the mournful look she was giving her ring on the counter made grayson believe for a moment that an eagle would swoop in from the bathroom window and snatch it away right before her eyes. he teased her about it, and she didn’t even care. her ring was pure treasure to her, and everyone knew it.

• once they’re out of the bathroom and lyra is all done with her makeup, the two are headed straight to the kitchen. normally grayson would head out with a coffee and not a second thought about getting a good meal, but after marriage, things change. and he had gotten so many talks from lyra and her mother about how breakfast was the most important meal of the day, that’s he’s finally given in and makes it a priority every morning. lyra herself didn’t even prioritize it, but after finally deciding that she was done with her extra grogginess in the morning, she made it a habit to always make grayson and her eat breakfast together. neither of them are skilled cooks, but lyra is amazing at making breakfast foods that her mom/stepdad used to make for her all the time, and grayson loves them + how happy she is while cooking them.

• other times though, they’ll be too lazy to cook breakfast, or just want something nicer, and just drive out to a diner instead. they have one near their house + both their workplaces that they really like, so they go there every time. they both find the place so peaceful and beautiful, and sometimes, if they’re both too tired or upset or however they may feel in the morning to talk, they sit on the same side of the booth and lyra lays her head on graysons shoulder. they know that they love each other so much, and sometimes, they just want to love each other in silence.

• after breakfast, grayson drives her to her place of work, and they make conversation along the way. gossip they heard from people they know, their dreams of the future, or even something that hasn’t been able to leave their mind. lyra usually is the one talking graysons ear off on the way to work, as after all her grumbling and groaning in the morning she suddenly feels productive on the car ride there, and grayson just listens with a smile. there’s nothing that he wouldn’t listen to as long as it came out of his wife’s mouth.

• when grayson drops her off, he gives her a lunch that he packed her in the morning, or that she packed for herself the night before. but, on days where lyra forgot to pack her lunch and grayson “forgot” to pack his too, he promises to pick her up for lunch to take her out. he then, for those days that he gets to see her for lunch, leaves with a smile, knowing that he has one more good thing to look forward to in his day.

EXTRA: married lyragrayson morning routine after a (very rare) bad fight :(( (this one is more of a rare situation as they don’t really ever get into bad fights, so that’s why the writing looks more like a fic than headcanons (bc i didn’t wanna say “usually” they do this or “typically” they do that as it’s uncommon for them to be fighting in the first place LOL))

• lyra wakes up on her bed, feeling cold and dull and wondering why, before turning around and realizing he wasn’t behind her. lyra is confused, but only for a moment, before her fatigue-riddled mind finally remembers that she sent him off to sleep on the couch last night. a numb feeling overtook her, and she got the sick sensation in her throat that she was going to start crying. except lyra wasn’t going to start crying, because she’d spent all last night sobbing into her pillow anyway.

• getting up, she kicked her feet off the side of her bed, her tired brain trying to process what to do next. where was grayson? what does a wife do after her first big fight with her husband? maybe people were right about the honeymoon phase, and all that was good before was gone. she looked at the ring in her hand, and after minutes of numb eyes staring, took it off. it was only for a moment, but the look of her empty ring finger and it sitting discarded on her bedside table made her feel guilty enough to put it back on.

• finally getting up, lyra decides that what’s done is done and she has to get started with her day. surprising to no one, she has a pounding head ache from all the crying she had been doing the night before. lyra walks into her closet and puts on a pair of clothes, the pair that had been rotting in the back of her closet because they’re as dull as lyra feels. perfect.

• walking over to her bathroom, lyra slides open the sliding door, and sees him. the suit he was wearing enunciated his muscles, and lyra hated that she couldn’t tear his eyes away from his broad shoulders and biceps. once she snaps out of it, she immediately backs away when she sees grayson getting ready, but he turns around, calling her name. still, she’s walking away when she feels two hands wrap around her waist and spin her around. grayson is again face to face with her.

• he immediately apologizes for his actions, having more patience and less pettiness than lyra, and explains them. but lyra still has a bad taste in her mouth from the fight. she refuses to meet his gaze, scoffing at his words. unfortunately, she forgot that grayson could also be rather stubborn. every time she cast her gaze else where, he would always gently take hold of the top of her neck with his fingers on her jaw and move her head to look at him again. of course, lyra did feel bad, but a part of her knew that the fight mainly wasn’t her fault. it was one of graysons problems that started it.

• once he’s done his apology speech, lyra just walks past him and into the bathroom, eager to just get ready and get this over with. unfortunately, grayson wasn’t going to stop trying that quickly. he followed her everywhere: the bathroom, the vanity, the kitchen, always at least a foot behind her as she walked. and lyra was done. she whipped her head around and demanded him to explain to her the point of the fight last night. grayson replied gently, but she could see that she was testing his patience. lyra mulled on his answer before stomping off to the kitchen, and opening her fridge door. pulling enough food for two out, she started cooking. after making 4 french toasts with sausages on the side, she puts it on two plates and puts them both on the island by the two chairs they had there. grayson, however, was making coffee, and when he placed lyras cup by her plate, she tasted it and immediately scowled. it was annoyingly just how she liked it.

• grayson and her ate in silence, but after graysons stares were becoming excruciating, she turned to him with a stone cold look on his face.

• “what?” she asked, bluntly.

• “did you not sleep well last night?” he asked her.

• she scoffed. “no, i was too busy crying to get any sleeping done.”

• she hates that she knew her husband so well in this moment, because when she said it, she knew exactly how he would react. which, for all of lyras fake bluntness, was what she wanted. with his eyes softening at lyras reply, grayson immediately stood up, picking lyra up from her chair and pulling her into an embrace. she couldn’t act harshly to her husband anymore. not after he set her feet back down on the ground and stroked her hair, murmuring apologies and “i love you”’s. he covered the crown of her head with soft kisses, and when lyra turned her head up to look at him with gentle eyes, he covered her face in kisses too, getting a laugh out of lyra as she whacked his arm in protest.

• the rest of the day goes smoothly, as when arguments do happen between the couple, they end before the two can leave the house. grayson puts hers and his coffee in a two go cup when they see the time, and leave the house holding hands. grayson drives, and although it takes them a minute, conversation is already starting up again. grayson leaves one of his hands out, and lyra, absentmindedly, starts tracing the lines of his hand while talking. grayson smiles at the fact that she didn’t even really notice she was doing it.

• once he drops lyra off in front of her workplace, he gets out of the car to open the door for lyra. after lyra gets out of the car, grayson immediately traps her in a passionate kiss, only stopping once lyra murmurs against his lips that she’s going to be late. he separates from her lips and strokes her dark hair as he did earlier, whispering to her how beautiful she is and how lucky he is to have a wife as special as her. lyra blushes, and begins to whisper a multitude of apologies about the fight back to him, but he just kisses her to stop her. he knows that she actually is going to be late if he keeps holding on to her, so he lets go of her waist and gives her a quick goodbye peck. lyra returns it and walks off, her head ache gone along with each and every single one of her worries.

————————————————————————

ummmm these ended up being so much longer than i thought they would, but OMG i just loved writing lyrason as a married couple so much!!! it just healed something in me calling them husband and wife, and i honestly need them to get married STAT bc i love them both too much 😭💗💗

[librarygarten]

You know what would be funny? Doing a “hear me out” cake with the boy. Imagine putting Dark Link on there ☠️

“You had a crush on him??”

“Listen— that was before I knew him.”

That would be hilarious.

Everyone send in your wildest Legend of Zelda crushes and I'll add them to reader's hear me out cake. (You can either add it in the notes or send an ask.)

[aventurineswife]

How about a Reader who is just Done™️ with everything and is (usually) a shut-in but their parents said “Aight, you’re going on your Pokemon Trainer / Digidestined / Naruto / whatever’s popular hero’s journey and you’re gonna like it!” and practically forced Reader onto the Astral Express. You’d be forgiven for thinking Reader was a Self-Annihilator but nah they’re just Tired™️ in the same way a grumpy cat is Tired™️ and that translates quite hilariously into their experiences.

Arrest warrant on Jarilo-VI?

Reader: “So, let me make sure I understand this clearly… We’re being arrested under suspicion of plotting to incite rebellion?”

Bronya: “That is correct.”

(Note: the presence of the Stellaron wasn’t known to the public at this time)

Cue Reader pulling out their phone and blasting at full volume a recording of the crew’s earlier meeting with Cocolia, meaning everyone in the area — guards, civilians, shopkeepers, Serval’s workshop — ends up hearing the whole conversation, from Cocolia’s greeting to the crew’s footsteps leaving the office (and March’s chatter about sightseeing); so everyone there, not just Bronya and the guards, is a witness.

Bronya: “Th— This wasn’t what was reported…!?”

Guard no.1: “What’s a Stellaron…?”

Guard no.2: “No idea, never heard of it.”

Reader: “As you have seen, and heard, your quote-on-quote ‘Supreme Guardian’ gave you orders based on false information. At no point did we ever threaten to undermine the authority of Belobog’s government. We have nothing to gain from taking over a city on a literally dying planet. All we did was promise to get rid of the Stellaron for Belobog’s safety but, it seems like she never intended to treat us like guests in the first place.” 😑

And after Cocolia is defeated—

March: “Time to celebrate—!”

Reader: “A mother’s death right in front of her grieving daughter?”

March: 🥶

Trailblazer: ☠️

Dan Heng: 🙂‍↕️

Reader: “You could at least wait until we’re out of earshot.”

Questioned by Yukong on the Luofu?

Reader: “I honestly don’t know what to tell you, ma’am, we heard there was a Stellaron on your ship and I, personally, got kicked out of the train to go with these guys. I just wanna hole up in my room and play video games.” 😞

Trailblazer: “But you haven’t even touched your dailies?”

March: “Yeah, all you do is lie in bed and sleep!”

First time hearing about the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus?

Reader: “…I’m going to be real with you, that just sounds like a creepy cult getting together under a medical con artist.”

Jing Yuan: 😅 “They do call themselves ‘the Disciples.’”

Reader: “And the ones who came before you actually fell for the scam.”

Jing Yuan: 🫠 “Unfortunately, they did…”

Reader: “And they even took your life insurance, in a way, and the life insurance of future generations.”

Welt: 🙂‍↕️ “You don’t need to rub it in.”

Heliobus breakout?

Trailblazer: “Hey.”

Reader: “No.”

Trailblazer: “? I haven’t said anything yet.”

Reader: “My answer is still no… Wait, why am I in a group chat with random numbers—”

Guinaifen: “Hiiiiiii~!”

Reader: “Oh no.”

Guinaifen: “WHATAYA MEAN ‘OH NO’ I’M THE LIFE OF THE PARTY” 💢

Plus the fact that Reader’s ‘negative’ energy has rubbed off enough on Yanqing that when Apyra (a heliobus) offers to teach him sword-training instead of Jing Yuan, Yanqing actually refuses (compared to canon).

Yanqing: 😑 “Sounds like a bunch of lazy amateurs getting together under a con artist.” (Now why does this sound familiar…)

They’re also kind of listening to Sunday not because of his pathos speech and trauma, but because “every day should be a Sunday.”

Reader: “I don’t know about you but my Sundays were stressful deadlines.”

Sunday: “Then stress no more, for your Sundays will now consist of lying in a fluffy bed with plushies while watching your favorite shows and playing video games~!”

Reader: 👀 “Let him cook—!”

Sunday: 😀???????? (Cooking? But, there’s no kitchen here…?) <- does not know internet slang

How does Firefly wake up Reader from Ena’s dream over Penacony?

Blade: “Put me on the phone.”

Firefly puts him on the call.

Blade: “You have assignments due tonight.”

Reader: 😱 *Scrambling out of bed* “NONONONONONONONONONONO WHERE THE FUCK IS MY LAPTOP—!!!” Pause. “I’m not even working anymore…?”

Firefly: 😀 “Wow, that was fast…!”

Blade: “You’re welcome.” *hangs up*

Reader: 😑💢

Firefly: 😅 “Sorry, but this is really important—!”

Crash-landing on Amphoreus?

Reader: “Why not just ask for directions instead of automatically pulling out weapons?” *taps on a Titankin’s shoulder* “S’cuse me, can you tell us where the nearest city is? We’re kind of lost.”

Titankin: “Oh yeah, Okhema should be close by, so you want to go through that giant temple over there in front of us, it should have a back door and from there you need to take a right turn—”

Phainon, watching from a distance like a confused puppy: 😀 “That actually worked…?”

Tribbie: “I can’t tell if they’re crazy, or if they’re too lazy to pick up a sword.” 😅 <- she hit it on the nail with the second guess

And Aglaea? She can sense how tired and listless Reader is. They don’t want glory. They don’t want power. They don’t give a rat’s ass about making a name for themself. They just want to get this mission done and be on their merry way.

And if sheer lack of energy through the golden threads is anything to go by, there is practically nothing going on in Reader’s head other than the cute chimeras.

Aglaea, about to start her life-or-death interrogation of the crew: 🙂‍↕️ (I am so sorry for what I am about to do…)

[Several hours later]

Phainon: “…How long have they been sleeping?”

Trailblazer: “Uhhhhhh twelve hours, I think?”

Dan Heng: “It’s not healthy, but it’s pretty normal.”

Phainon: “Did they even have something to eat yet? I don’t think I ever saw them with a plate. Or a fruit.”

Dan Heng: “…Now that you mention it, I almost never saw them in the kitchen, and the most they had at group dinners was fried rice and water.”

Tribbie: “Well I agree that this isn’t healthy and it should not be normal!”

Cue Tribbie yanking off the blankets and putting Reader in different areas of work and group activities. “You need sunlight! And exercise! And food!” and all that fun stuff.

Then Hyacine makes an appearance and Aglaea and Tribbie shove Reader her way.

Hyacine, after listening to Dan Heng and the Trailblazer about Reader: “Hm… Sounds like they’re still caught in that mindset of being stagnant. They’ve hit a dead end with their life back home and never reached that sense of fulfillment, so they kind of decided to throw in the towel. I think what they really need is something they can actually enjoy engaging in.”

Trailblazer: “They did enjoy the e-sports Mr. Yang would set up every week, but we have no connection here.” 😞

Dan Heng: “How about cooking? They send me cooking videos every now and then.”

Trailblazer: “…They send YOU cooking videos, and never me or March!?” 😭

(Dan Heng just has that quiet friend energy where he and Reader can just yap in the chat about nerdy and/or domestic things, lol.)

And it works.

Kind of.

Reader makes a whole batch of dishes and desserts that everybody likes, but still seems pretty listless.

Up until Mydei give not only a critique but also some encouragement and solid advice for improvement.

Then they really get into it.

They also do really well working with the chimeras.

After that, Reader starts waking up on time and immediately gets to work (with something they actually enjoy doing).

Imagine the rest of the crew’s reactions.

Welt: 😭 “Miss Hyacine, you’re a miracle worker.”

Hyacine: 😊 “Just doing my part to get more people to smile~”

And then Hyacine will probably suffer a horrific fate thanks to the prophecy and Reader might go back to being listless — we won’t know until 3.X releases tho

Okay okay you’re giving me life with this character concept—Reader is peak millennial/gen z burnout with a dash of “grumpy cat stuck on a road trip with overly enthusiastic NPCs” energy and I love them so much. They’re literally the only sane person surrounded by chaos and myth and Aeons and world-ending prophecies and they’re like, “Yeah okay but I haven’t slept in three days and I don’t get paid for this.”

The Astral Express crew must feel like they picked up a gremlin they’re now emotionally attached to despite all common sense.

March: “You’ve got main character energy!” Reader, wrapped in a burrito blanket on the train couch: “Yeah, and main character depression.”

Also? That Jarilo-VI scene with Bronya and the phone audio absolutely killed me. Reader weaponizing the group chat receipts like a warlock casting Sending is so iconic. I can literally see Bronya's face glitching in real time. Reader’s like if you gave a Gen Z gremlin a tactical nuke and a smartphone.

And the Penacony bit? The way Firefly had to resort to Blade for waking Reader is both terrifying and hilarious. Blade having to pull the “you have homework” card is so on brand—he knows what works.

And the fact that Aglaea literally hesitates to attack because Reader is just That Burnt Out™?? This is such a good dynamic, because instead of challenging her with equal fire, Reader challenges her whole perspective just by being this inexplicably apathetic—but strangely kind—person who isn't trying to win anything. They’re just... here. And she's so thrown off by that. Like, “you’re not begging for your life?” and Reader’s like “bro I haven’t had eight uninterrupted hours of sleep in two years. I welcome the void.”

Tribbie being the chaotic friend who decides to forcibly nurse Reader back to health had me wheezing. Just her screaming “YOU NEED VITAMINS” while Reader gets dragged into a salad-making team-building exercise.

And then Hyacine stepping in with the insight and encouragement??? And the little spark finally coming back to Reader through something as simple and genuine as feedback on their food?? That’s... unironically beautiful. Like—Reader might still be tired, but now they’ve got this little light. Something to focus on. Something theirs. That’s some Studio Ghibli-tier healing arc.

Reader is relatable, funny, tragic, and kind of powerful in a weirdly grounded way.

[mattslolita]

happy one year, CHRIS'S MAIN HOES. 💌

HAPPY ONE YEAR MY LOVERS! never did i ever think that i would find a group of girls who understand me like no other. not only did i find my wives, i found my sisters. i cannot even begin to express my love that i have for you guys ( no seriously i'm in tears just writing this ... )

💌. @luverboymatt : i'm so glad i forced you on this app!😏 technically we've almost known each other TWO years, and i can count on both hands and more on how many great memories we've shared. you're so beautiful and funny, and i'm so grateful to have you on this ride with me. i love the way you immediately know how to cheer me up, and i love your windex bottle laugh with my entire heart. remember my crush on you? LMFAO JUST REMEMBERING IT MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD😭☠️- anyways thank you so much denny for hitting me up on my wattpad message board back in december 2022, i've been the happiest ever since.

💌. @muwapsturniolo : MY PEACH😭🍑 goodness where do i even start...my big sister quite literally. your confidence and bold nature has inspired me to adapt to your mindset, and i can't thank you enough for it. you put out nothing but such positive energy and good vibes, and even though not everyone may see you for the beautiful soul you are, i will ALWAYS see it. thank you for sticking up for me when i couldn't, thank you for giving me a reality check when i need it. you are the big sister i never had ( well i have one and just don't know her☠️ ) but you've filled that spot more than she ever has and i'm gonna cry just thinking about it. i love the sound of your voice and your wheeze, it cheers me up and makes me laugh so badly. you're such a sexy badass, and i can't believe i bagged you as one of my best friends.

💌. @thenickgirl my twin flame quite LITERALLY like down to our birthday okay...the nick to my chris in every lifetime. it doesn't matter what you say, i just KNOW im going to end up laughing cuz of the way you always know how to cheer me up. i love the way you ride for everybody, and how you aren't afraid to speak your mind. i love hearing your accent cuz it makes everything you say hilarious. i'm glad we forced you to start writing because i absolutely love it. you're so beautiful, so funny, so understanding... it's crazy how much of the same person we are cuz wdym we're birthday twins who listen to t swift and melanie martinez😭💓? thank you for having such a kind soul and being a light in my life. you are genuinely one of my favorite people on earth.

💌. @guccifrog2 zay my bitch! i miss you so freaking bad, you're one of the funniest people i've EVER met. you are so unapologetically you and it's such a fun thing to witness. whenever you randomly pop into the chat, i just can't help myself from smiling. you're so gorgeous, i can't wait for us to save up enough money to fly you out👅. it's always such a fun time with you girl, i adore your voice and just about everything about you. the 🦭 to my 🐢 FOR REAL.

i'm telling y'all we're all gonna meetup and have a fivesome😭. i love these girls forever more than life. all the laughs, and the cries, all the crashouts, im forever grateful that i've got to experience them with you guys. thank you for constantly putting up with my random BS and voice notes. my ride or dies in every lifetime. i wouldn't trade you for a ten piece combo at wingstop half bbq half parmesan with rootbeer on the side...i love you girls. forever and always. 💌

okay brb im sobbing now👅👅👅👅👅

[whyse7vn]

PRETTY -

[ot7 x reader]

YOONGI -

y/n: yoongi

ur so pretty

makes me clench my fist in range

toes curl in pleasure

back arch in need

my pretty boy

sosososososo petty

mmgrrhrhhhhhhhhhhhh

yoongi: ??

thanks????

y/n: wtf

don’t question mark my complements

yoongi: you could of called me pretty in a normal way

y/n: that was normal

yoongi: for you

meaning in reality that was weird as fuck

y/n: the children of today are so unappreciative it’s crazy

yoongi: i’m a grown man

y/n: ur like 5’2

you NEED to grow man

yoongi: ur not funny

and i’m not 5’2

y/n: you’re 5’2 in my mind forever and always

and i’m hilarious don’t lie like that again min yoongi

yoongi: don’t call me by my full name freak idk u like that

y/n: you are too short to be talking in my phone crazy like this what the hell

yoongi: what do you want

y/n: come kiss me on my hot mouth pretty boy

yoongi: could of said that in the first place

y/n: well i said it now

come hither boyfriend

yoongi: shut up

i’ll turn around rn

go back to the studio

y/n: you won’t

yoongi: whatever

y/n: love you pretty boy 🫦

JIMIN -

jimin: you are so pretty

y/n: you are so pretty

jimin: fuck you

y/n: kill yourself

always trying to be like me wtf

jimin: what is ur issue

this was supposed to be MY moment of vulnerability not urs

y/n: if it helps i was lying

jimin: so i’m not pretty

y/n: yeah

jimin: THAT was a lie

y/n: are you sure

jimin: yes

..

YES

y/n: okay ugly ☠️☠️

jimin: bye

y/n: ok but the way we said that at the same time baby that was so cute 😍😍😍😍

jimin: i know we are like goals 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

y/n: ur built like a goal

jimin: what does that even mean

y/n: ur wide

jimin: WIDE????

y/n: yeah cuz goals are wide

like the football ones

jimin: body shame me again and i’ll make a twitter thread

y/n: it’s actually called x now

jimin: you’re about to be my ex

y/n: the one that got away 😍

jimin: the one that was taken away

by the police

or like the fbi

or death

a really really bad disease like the plague or smth

any one of those options would do

i’m not picky

y/n: yeah cuz ur a pick ME

jimin: wide a pick me just say you hate me

y/n: you just told be to die

jimin: but i didn’t call you wide

or a pick me

i know the limit babe

y/n: i would argue telling me to die is worse than being called wide

wide could be a compliment

like omg namjoon is so wide 😍🤤😝

jimin: wtf????

could of used me in the example

y/n: no

that would be untrue

namjoon is good wide

ur bad wide

jimin: i think you’re just pushing unrealistic body standards on me

y/n: how is it unrealistic when namjoon is real

jimin: leave me alone

y/n: you called me pretty

jimin: you called me wide

y/n: wide and pretty

jimin: am i namjoon pretty

y/n: can’t you be happy with the pretty i gave you

jimin: i don’t want to be wide pretty

i want to be namjoon pretty

y/n: maybe i love you for your wide pretty

jimin: you love me 🤭??

y/n: a little 🤭

jimin: heh 😏

no i still don’t like being wide

y/n: wow ur so difficult

you are just pretty

no wide pretty

just pretty

jimin pretty

jimin: yeah and don’t ever forget it

y/n: kill yourself

jimin: i’m to pretty to die

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: BOYFRIEND WYA 🗣️‼️ BOYFRIEND WYA 🗣️‼️

jk: HIIIII

HI

HEY hi

i’m here hello

y/n: i’ll eat you alive kook i will

jk: i’ll taste great

will season myself 4u and everything

y/n: aren’t you the best >.<

jk: for you always

y/n: sighs

jeon jungkook you are so unbelievably pretty it devastates me

jk: pls don’t be devastated

y/n: so devastated

fell to my knees in the middle of the hybe building

pretty boy

jk: i’m about to fall to my knees too

don’t be upset baby

hate when ur upset

y/n: ur too pretty

no choice but to be upset

jk: i’m gonna start throwing up how do i fix this

tell me babe and i’ll do it

y/n: kiss me

jk: or should i kill myself

y/n: oh.

jk: lmk

cuz i will if you want

y/n: no a kiss will be fine kook

jk: are you sure?

y/n: do you want me to be sure?

jk: i want what you want

y/n: right

jk: right

also i think you are the prettiest to ever walk this earth ever and i love you so much and you make me want to pass out and die just like this 😃😀😱😨😰😯😧🫨😵‍💫😵

y/n: wow thank you kook

jk: also it’s really hot outside today so make sure you drink some water

y/n: yes sir 🫡

jk: don’t say things like that ur making me blush >.<

y/n: send proof

jk: you’ll laugh at me

y/n: i will

but i’ll probably twirl my hair and kick my feet too

ur just so pretty like that

jk: i am?

y/n: you are >.<

jk: are we flirting rn??

y/n: we just might be

jk: wow

life is great

y/n: the best

jk: creamed 😣

SEOKJIN -

y/n: baby u so pretty

jin: fact

y/n: don’t play hard to get when ur hard to want

jin: ??????????

HELLO??????

y/n: hi

jin: I WASN’T EVEN PLAYING HARD TO GET

y/n: stop shouting

jin: i just said fact meaning that what you said was indeed a fact

y/n: compliment me back

jin: you know i’m not good at this

y/n: well get good

jin: you are easy on the eyes

y/n: are you fucking 50 who says shit like that?

jin: don’t ever accuse me of being that age again i’m forever 24

y/n: yeah whatever next compliment go

jin: i’m not a dog to be ordered around like this yk?

y/n: GO

jin: the biggest compliment i can give you is being your boyfriend

since i’m so pretty hot sexy and handsome out of everyone i chose YOU to kiss on the lips meaning ur at most half of what i am

y/n: at most???

jin: but i’m already your boyfriend so i can’t compliment you anymore

y/n: make me ur wife then

jin: WOAHHHHHHHHH

babe i think namjoon is calling me rn lmao😭

you know it breaks my heart to cut the precious time we spend talking short but duty calls 💜

talk to you later my pretty petal

y/n: pretty petal?

jin: my queen

y/n: how about your wife 🤩

jin: ok gtg namjoon is getting really angry now babe

y/n: fuck you

bitch

jin: *pretty bitch

y/n: i thought namjoom needed you

jin: no ur right bye

NAMJOON -

y/n: joon you’re so pretty every time you look in my direction i feel as if i am going to implode and explode at the time time killing millions of women a children and ALL men expect you

namjoon: ur so descriptive baby thank you

y/n: ur so sexy

you can’t see rn

but i’m biting my lip at you

namjoon: thank you ❤️

but what are you doing up this late pretty

told you to sleep i’ll be there when you wake up

y/n: you think i’m pretty >.<

namjoon: as always the prettiest

but seriously go to bed my love it’s real late

y/n: you see joon i’m actually in the middle of grinding for that bag

that money never stops can i get an amen 🤑💰💸🗣️‼️

namjoon: amen baby but can’t you do that tomorrow

y/n: joon the money never stops

meaning the work never stops

meaning work4life money4life

my bag? LARGE

namjoon: maybe it’s time for a healthy work life balance?

y/n: ur pretty you wouldn’t get the technicality of it all

namjoon: but you’re pretty too so i guess we both don’t get it

y/n: we are different levels of pretty like ur pretty pretty so all you think about is being pretty ur boobs and iced americanos

namjoon: iced americanos?

y/n: see??

and i’m surface level pretty so i have time to think about getting to the bag

namjoon: don’t say that

you’re pretty pretty and more

y/n: that’s nice joon but i have a bag to grind for right now

namjoon: baby it’s almost 12

y/n: my bag

namjoon: your bed

get into it

y/n: GET IN TOOO ITTTTTTTTT

what do you know about that joonie??

YUHHHHHHHHHHHH

namjoon: baby

y/n: sorry

namjoon: it’s okay

y/n: i’m really tired

namjoon: i know it’s okay

told you not to wait up

y/n: can’t fall asleep without my pretty boy :c

namjoon: i’ll be home soon

y/n: promise?

namjoon: promise

y/n: pbp

call that a pretty boy promise

namjoon: so creative 💞

sit tight pretty girl

HOSEOK-

y/n: hobi u so pretty

hobi: u too

y/n: ??jump

if ur gonna say it back

say it properly

bitch

hobi: busy babe

y/n: doing what

hobi: you would call me mean words if i told you

but maybe i want that

wink wink haha lol

y/n: are you being fr rn

hobi: is fr being me

y/n: hoseok

hobi: baby ☹️

y/n: i was trying to be cute

hobi: and you’re the cutest

y/n: shut up go away

we can’t have anything in this life

sighs

hobi: don’t sigh babe

y/n: don’t be a horny loser

hobi: what happened to me being pretty

y/n: i take it back

hobi: you can’t

y/n: i can

hobi: no

y/n: yes

hobi: :(

y/n: don’t frown at me trying to be cute when ur touching ur dick

you make me wanna throw up

hobi: what if i said i was thinking about you

y/n: so you were thinking about me and you couldn’t even compliment me back properly

CRAZY

hobi: it’s hard to type with one hand you know

y/n: gross stop talking

hobi: ok but is it not hot that just the thought of you gets me acting crazy

y/n: don’t blame me for your craziness what the hell

like you’re crazy because that’s just how you are

nothing to do with my influence

hobi: so why am i jerking off to the thought of you

seems like your influence to me

y/n: bye.

hobi: ok hand off dick i promise

let’s chit chat

you called me pretty right?

what did the queen of blasia say that one time??

the truth ain’t pretty but coming from your mouth something something something pretty 😘🥰😍

y/n: the queen of blasia????

hobi: yeah?

jhene aiko??

you fw her??

y/n: the queen of blasia

hobi: yeah

said that already

y/n: right

we are gonna talk about that another time

hobi: why

you don’t fw the queen of blasia?

y/n: stop talking

anyways

hobi: can i put my hand back on my dick orrrrr

y/n: no never mind

the queen of fucking blasia are you stupid hoseok??

hobi: i don’t want to talk about this anymore

i’m trying to see some ass

a titty perchance 🧐

ur face even

and call me pretty again it did things to me

y/n: jhene aiko

hobi: YES jhene aiko the queen of blasia with her son steve lacy the nations (blasias) sweetheart

y/n: wow

hobi: call me pretty

y/n: tell me about this blasia lore you have

hobi: NO

i’m hard no shinee

y/n: i think you’re unwell and gross

and probably high

hobi: ok but am i pretty

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: ur so pretty

tae: chat is this rizz ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

y/n: can we have one moment

please

tae: chat is this real ⁉️

y/n: kim taehyung

tae: chat am i cooked ⁉️

y/n: WHO ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING TO

RN

tae: chat i’m scared rn…. 😩😰

y/n: stop

tae: do you think i would make a good streamer

y/n: i’ll stream your execution

tae: real

would get so many views

good first steam

you think people would donate

y/n: no

tae: i’ll let you mod for me

y/n: i don’t like you

tae: because you love me

y/n: love is a strong word

tae: we share strong emotions

y/n: i’ll share a strong bullet with you

tae: try me

literally built my whole brand off being bulletproof

y/n: whatever

tae: when you called me pretty i moaned btw

[read 9:00pm]

real loud

[delivered]

had me like

😩💢😩💢😩

[delivered]

hello

[delivered]

oh

[delivered]

babe

[delivered]

ok sorry

[delivered]

chat clip that

[delivered]

—

kook and jin’s was ass forgive me i wrote them last my fault 😆

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY I MEANT TO FOLLOW UP EARLIER but I got caught up in talking about The One And Only Thing I've ever added to Jo's backstory and gotten invested in so I lost track of time 😭BUT NO YEAH GOING THROUGH THE LIST WAS A 10/10 EXPERIENCE... I just really enjoy your commentary and seeing your takeaways so I don't need anything In-Depth to have a good time, even just finding out what your faves are is pretty neat; as a guide I definitely think it sells the works while setting realistic expectations overall :] On That Note would love to hear your thoughts on the movie!

LMAO YOU'RE GOOD i wasn't expecting a follow up anyhow so it's alright :]

and im glad the list was enjoyable. i suppose LMAO AGAIN i tried not to go too much into things so my thoughts are relatively sparse (because rest assured i have PLENTY of notes on everything i've seen but i didn't want the thing to be 100 pages long (╯▽╰ ) ) but as long as it gets the job done then that's fine with me:)

OH BUTTHE MOVIE YAYAYA I WATCHED THE CORRECT ONE THIS TIME LMAOOO IT WAS EPIC definitely enjoyed it A LOT and was a really great way to end the series !! again i love the sound design and track and i esp loved the music that played when the team was working out how to sneak into the house of representatives (i've noticed that bitches LOVE acoustic guitars in this series and While Unexpected it works SOOOO good)

the whole Handcuff Bit with inoue still gets me like My Brother In Christ How Long Have You Worked Here BUT I ALSO GET IT. AND ALSO WHEN HE WENT TO ARREST OGATA AND OF COURSE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CUFFS... GIRL I DIED FR...

anyway 11/10 movie SOOO glad you directed me to it LMAO

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Disclaimer - I’m gonna try to keep to more mid-length emoji amounts to try to keep from overwhelming your inbox but if you’re wanting more asks of a specific size, let me know and I’ll come back with more!

Okay first theme is “Chimney and his brothers!” I’m loving both these stories and the exploration of these dynamics!! Chimney is such a fun character - of course because he’s hilarious but also because he’s so full of love for the people around him. I love reading about it!

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ (the plot is thickening and I am hooked!!! The crows are out to get Buck! Chim is gonna join the ranks of Buck’s captains who wish they could keep him wrapped in bubble wrap :p I’m so excited to learn more about the curse and how it involves Bertie! Also excited for the Hen-Chim drama to come to a head!)

🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷 (I’m LOVING this Kevin chapter! It’s so wonderfully juicy! Everyone’s freaking out! As is their right! It’s also so good when Chim is missing Bobby when we know he’s back! Very curious if they’ll reveal Bobby to Chim earlier now that he’s experiencing the resurrections too. Can’t wait to see what’s next!)

- PCA <3

These are perfect lengths!! Thank you!!!

I try to work on one big request, and then take breaks to do smaller ones. So anything over 54 sentences, to me, is a big request. So 36 sentences are perfect.

Ah I love this theme! Writing Chim is so fun for me. I love him so much.

36 for ☠️ (Excited to slowly reveal all this! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

---

Shit. Shit. How does she know? Did Buck tell her what they’re actually doing? Why would he do that? They had an agreement!

“You know what’s going on with Buck,” Maddie says. “You’re just not telling me.”

Oh. Well… That’s easier to deal with. 

“It’s a secret!” Chim explains. Technically not a lie. “You know how I am with secrets!”

“I do,” she nods.

“So please, Maddie. Don’t push! I want to keep Buck’s confidence on this. It’s important.”

Maddie gasps. Her hands fly to her mouth.

“What?” Chim asks. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s proposing to Eddie,” Maddie says. “He’s proposing and he told you and not me?”

 “What?” Chim finds himself asking again. How did she get there?

“I mean, I figured it’d happen quick,” Maddie says. “They’ve been half-dating forever, before either of them knew it. But this quick?” 

Chim could correct her. Assure her this isn’t it. But… Doesn’t that run the risk of her not buying his half-baked lie?

---

36 for 🪷 (THANK YOU!!! Excited to share more!)

---

“You okay?” Maddie asks.

“Mhm,” Buck answers. In a way that very much suggests the opposite. “You?”

“Yeah,” she nods, in a similar manner.

Buckleys. 

Maddie steps away from Buck and looks at Bobby. She smiles. She doesn’t do the thing 

everyone else has done. She doesn’t look at him with a mix of horror and awe and tears. Well, she’s a bit teary. She’s Maddie, after all. But she seems steady. Like nothing about seeing him is unexpected or world shattering.

She prepared herself. Bobby is grateful.

“Hi, Bobby,” she says.

He smiles. 

“Hi, Maddie.”

“Can I give you a hug?” She asks.

He nods. “Of course.”

She walks forward to embrace him, and even her hug feels steadying. God, she came here to hold them all together, didn’t she? He’s never been especially close to Maddie. Not the way he is with her husband or brother. But she’s closer to him than the other returned people. Maddie isn’t here for the dead. She’s here for the living.

The children walk inside next. Jee hugs Buck right away. He kisses her on the forehead.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says. “Can you do me a huge favor today?”

“What is it?” She asks. 

“Can you keep Joze and Bertie occupied? They need someone responsible to watch them while we figure all this out.”

[xnzlian]

Bro, my class has homework to Photoshop and made smth your choice and I took all my bravery and made this

...The teacher's reaction was hilarious☠️

Bro u fr really made me feel very hard rn i CAN'T---- LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST THING TO SEE BEFORE GOING TO BED !!!! 😩😩💦😩💦😩💦😩💦😩💦😩🤲😩🤲😩🤲🤲😩😳😳✨✨👁️//👄//👁️💖

👀I'm saving this 👀