#-buddy what do you think every single author in existence does with their characters

[divinefireangel]

Scream Princess

SF9 Jaeyoon x F! Reader Smut.

YES I USED THIS GIF ON PURPOSE 😈

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Listen. I fucking hate frat boys okay 😂. So this was easy to write cause Jae is hot and I'll do anything for him 🥰 This is the longest fic I've written so far. And I'm proud. I hope you like it anon! I have to warn you, I didn't include the choking sadly 😔 slipped my mind. But I still hope it lives up to expectations 🥺.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ ages and female readers (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). Fuck buddies/enemies to lovers. We live for that cute shit. Rough sex. Mentions of blowjobs. Fingering (f receiving). Jae calls reader 'princess', just incase I wasn't clear. And it's smut, so your typical smut warnings. Nothing overboard don't worry. But do let me know if I need to add something more. Not proof read. Excuse the errors.

Requested: Yes! By a lovely anon 🖤

frat! boy jaeyoon and you have a love hate relationship. you love him when he chokes u and calls u princess, hate him every other second. maybe he gets so jealous at a party seeing u play pong w someone else that he takes u upstairs to make u not hate him and to let everyone else youre his.

2.8k Words ;)

It was a simple arrangement. When either of you are horny, you fuck. And the rest of the time, you pretend he doesn't exist. Ugh how you hate fratboys. But Jaeyoon is hot. You gotta give him that. And he works out a lot which is very much seen on him and the way he tosses your around when you fuck.

Sex with him is just so fulfilling. He'll give you everything you want. The passion. The speed, always fast. The way his tongue always makes you so hot. Just thinking about it makes you wet. The way he stares at you with so much hateful fire that you mirror, when he's so deep in you. The bruises he leaves when he grips you so tight you can't escape from under him. The soreness you feel after every session of sexual entanglement is just delicious. You hate it.

But what you enjoy most is how he calls you 'princess' while fucking your guts out. The rest of the time, you can't tolerate his existence. It makes you wanna roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck. You hate his playboy manners, the way he always acts like he's so cool cause he's a part of the most popular fraternity on campus. You hate how he's so cocky and acts like every girl walking would just drop their panties if he told them to. You hate that he thinks he's better than everyone. You hate him, so much.

And so here you are, at one of his frat parties, as much as you didn't want to be here. Even after insisting that you're busy and don't want to go to the party, your friends and roommates didn't buy your excuses, stating that you need to get a boyfriend or at least get laid. Oh if only they knew. Standing in the corner of the lawn, a red solo cup with disgusting beer in your hand, you stare cringingly at the mess of hot bodies grinding against each other, desperate for god knows what. Yep. You are definitely not attending another such, event.

" Hey you busy? " A voice asked.

Looking to your right, then left you notice a cute guy, who was clearly looking at you. Blinking you look at him with a blank expression. What's he playing at, you wonder.

" Oh right sorry. I'm Youngbin. We're playing Beer Pong and we're a player short and you are standing here by yourself so I thought you could join us. If you want to, of course. No pressure. " He said flaying his hands around innocently.

Well you do have nothing to do right now, might as well follow the cute guy. Who knows, he may ask you out.

" Yeah sure! I'd love to. I'm Y/N, by the way. "

" Ah. Nice to meet you. Are you a freshman? "

" Sophmore actually. "

" Oh nice. I'm a senior. A few freshmen students are still underage, gotta be careful you know. "

" Oh yeah I get it. But you should know that they are at times wilder than us. " Giggling at your words, he leads you towards the table, finally reaching.

" Oh great you found someone. I'm Zuho. " Another cute guy said. Wow you were really gonna miss out if you'd stayed in your room.

" Y/N. " You said as you shook his hand.

" Okay so it's 3 versus 3. You guys start. " Zuho said to the collective mass, starting the game. Winning a few, and losing a lot of ping-pong balls, you were finally happy. A little tipsy, but still sober enough to do a math problem, you continued to play the game, now having more players on each team. Surprisingly, you were good at the game and not so surprisingly, you started to get close to Youngbin. Slight lingering touches on your arm, your waist and the tingle that went down your body when he moved you hair so you could focus on bouncing the ball. Maybe the ball wouldn't be the only thing that would be bouncing soon.

" YO YOUNGBIN! " A booming voice called. Oh no. You knew this voice. You knew it really well. Begrudgingly you turned to look at none other than Lee Jaeyoon. Of course the fucker is here. He's at every party, trying to hook up with random girls who all seem to be interested in him.

Staring at you intently as he hugged Youngbin, You wished the ground will open up and swallow you whole. Why was he here. You were having so much fun. Well who says you can't have fun with him right here, staring at you like you were a piece of candy. Yeah nope. Time to go home. Vibing with the music, you slowly start to step back as everyone at the pong table started to talk to Jaeyoon. After stepping far enough, you turn on your heel, ready to strint away. Feeling someone grab your wrist, you're turned around with so much force you crash into a hard chest, hands going to his shoulders to stabilize yourself. Looking to see who stopped you, you're met with a cocky smirk, adorning the face of, well you guessed it.

" Where are going? I thought you were having fun so I came to join you. And you decide to leave without telling me? I'm hurt princess. " He says, the smirk only getting bigger as your blood boils with rage. This fucker. If given a chance to wipe out someone's existence completely, you'd choose him.

" Yeah well. Since you're here, it won't be fun anymore. "

" Oh is that how it is? "

Nodding yes, you step away from him, crossing your arms as you try to look tall next to his broad, tree like, super climbable figure. Stop it. Don't think of him like that. Not now at least.

Running his tongue on the inside of him cheek, he looks down at you. He looks hot. And angry?

" Well princess, I'm hurt. Right here. " Pointing at his chest, he moves closer to you. Breath hitching, you stare at him wide eyed, as his face comes to your eye level.

" You seemed to have forgotten out arrangement princess. "

What is he talking about. Was he drunk? Sniffing, you check if he was drunk. He wasn't. Which is shocking. Grabbing your upper arms and pulling you near with his hands, his lips move to your ear.

" I'm not happy with the way you were getting so close to Youngbin. You shouldn't do that when you have me. "

" Excuse me. What. " You say, breaking free from his grip. Looking at him, your face screams, 'Are you crazy'. Well someone should.

" What the fuck do you mean ' you're not happy'. Last I checked, I'm a free independent woman, who is single, and would very much like a cute caring boyfriend AND who doesn't just wish to be someone's fuck-buddy. So if you may, I'd like to go ask out Youngbin. " Smiling bitterly, you try to make your way around Jaeyoon, only to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled back into Jaeyoon's muscular chest.

Glaring at you, he starts to walk towards his room, a path you aren't new to, as his grip on your wrist tightens, pulling you with him. Entering the room, he pushes you in, then locks it. Stumbling, you grab his chair so you don't fall. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

" What in the actual HELL is wrong with you! What the fuck dude. Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? Is it cause I was actually happy flirting with Youngbin? Last I checked, I don't belong to anyone. And especially not to you. So don't go around acting like you're my boyfriend because you aren't. And don't at all act like you care about me because the whole wide freakin world knows that you care about no one but yourself. So move, before I kick you so hard you'll have to go the hospital. " To say you were angry would be so wrong. You were furious. His existence infuriates you.

" I like you. "

" What? " Is he for real? Manipulation? Really?

" I'm not trying to manipulate you. I really do like you. And I wasn't happy seeing you get touchy with one of my friends. " Is he a mind reader or something? Probably. I mean he does know what you want when you just whine and writhe under him as he pleasures- Wait no! Stop.

" Why tell me now? " You ask calmly, well as calm as you could get without letting your guard down.

" Because... I don't know okay! I just, I just couldn't stand there as he got close to you. When it could've been.... Well could be me.... " He said slowly. You've never seen him so, vulnerable. He looks like a sad puppy.

" I'm sorry but, are you sure? " Chewing on your lower lip, you wait for him to reply. How can he like so suddenly. It's not natural right?

" I am. I really like you. And I want you to be my strong independent girlfriend. I want to take you out on a date. A real one. Many dates. Please just give me a chance. You won't regret it. " Taking your hand in his, he rubs his thumbs over your knuckles. Dramatically, you life your eyes up, only to find him looking at you with puppy eyes. Nodding your head slowly, you swallow. Breaking a grin on his face, he places your hands on his wide shoulders as he connects your lips for the first time this evening, his hands wandering from your waist to your hips.

" Oh baby. I'll make sure you never regret this decision. " And with that he places his hands on your ass, tapping it so you jump in his arms. Obliging, you connect your lips again, wanting to feel them melt against yours as you process what's happening. Placing your on the table, he removes yours and his jackets, throwing them on the floor somewhere. Moving close to your seated figure, his hands find themselves on your neck, tilting your face up to kiss you again and again till you're both out of air in your lungs. He slowly grinds his hips to your front, your knees going around his hips as your hands tug at his shirt.

Stepping back he removes his shoes and shirt, exposing his well toned chest and abs to you. Removing your footwear and freeing your hair, you beckon him to come to you as you bite your lip seductively. Smirking, he obeys you, coming as close to you as you want. Lips meet your neck, one hand to your hair, pulling it till your head tilts back exposing the flesh on your neck to him, his other hand wandering up under your top. Hunching it in your palms, you remove your top as he wastes no time to undo your bra, freeing your breasts to the cool air of the room.

Kissing down your body, his lips latch on to your left nipple, hand toying and twisting the other. Arching your body into his face, you grab his hair, pulling it like you always do. Releasing your nipple with a pop, he begins to undo his belt with one hand. Raising his free hand to your head, he advances in your direction till your chests meet, skin to skin, heat to heat, and lips meet once more.

Without breaking the kiss, he discards his pants, leaving him in boxers. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he lifts you up moving the two for you to his bed. Gently he puts you on the matress, hands finding the button of your jeans, undoing it and pulling them down your legs. Staring in your eyes he bites his lip, freeing it sexily he leans his face down to your neck, kissing, biting and marking you with little lovebites.

Rotating your head to the opposite side you gasp when you feel his fingers rub your folds over your panties. Lifting your upper body off the bed slightly your hands grab hold of his wrist that's on your needy mound. Keeping them there you begin to grind yourself on his fingers, releasing breathy moans of constricting pleasure.

" Fuck princess, you look so hot grinding yourself against me. Let me take care of that for you. " He whispers on your ear, chills travelling down your body reaching just where you need him. Letting go of his wrist, you grab onto his shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him again. Moaning in his mouth when he moves your panties to a side with his fingers, touching your wet pussy. Groaning at how wet you are, he easily slips in two fingers in your hole, pumping them slowly. Breaking the kiss you curse at the feeling of his thick digits moving along your entrance.

" Oh fuck. Yes- Please don't stop " You gasp when he touches your g-spot with his fingertips at the same time his thumb finds your clit. Increasing the pace of his fingers, he presses his nose on your cheek, breathing out ragged breaths as he grinds his dick to the matress at your moans. Roughly he rubs your clit pulling out as you cry in protest, feeling empty. Opening your eyes at the loss of warmth above you, you feel his hands pulling your panties down your legs, noticing his hard length, tip so red he would probably cum if your wrapped your mouth around him. Ripping open the condom, he rolls it on his cock, forcefully making your lay on your back as he enters you whole. Crying out at feeling so full with his dick deep in your pussy, you arch your back adjusting to his thick length. Slipping an arm below you when you do so, he licks your lower lip, biting it and pulling at it.

Drawing his hips back just a little, he slowly starts to ease himself in you, body rocking against yours, hair falling down on your forehead, hands grabbing your waist to keep you in place. Pressing your fingers into his back you chant his name, encouraging him to go further and faster. Being the mind reader he is, he pulls out almost whole, before ramming his cock in as fast as he can. Screaming out in pleasant surprise you hug him tighter, allowing him to go faster and faster till you lose your voice.

" Princess. You're so tight around me. Yes baby, scream my name " He growls in your ear deeply, the coil in your stomach getting tighter with each thrust, feeling full till your stomach every time his dick is balls deep. And feeling just as empty when he drags out. Your hole stretched out to accommodate his thick girth, making you think it might tear open. Jaeyoon is driving his cock in and out of you so rapidly you can feel you juices leaking out of your pussy, drawing you closer to your orgasm.

" Jae. I'm gonna- I'm close " You warn him, wanting to cum undone together.

" Yeah baby me too, fucking scream my name for me princess. Please I need you to. Scream princess! " Rubbing your clit, he freezes at sensation of your walls closing around his dick just as tightly as your legs close around his hips. Screaming his name out so loudly, your body jerks and squirms shamelessly as you cum on his cock, squeezing his till he's dumbfolded above you and helplessly cums in the condom.

Falling on top of you gently, he catches his breath, chest heaving heavily as you slowly unclench your legs and pussy, also catching your breath, enjoying your post orgasm euphoria. Whimpering when he pulls out, your body convulses around air, still not over your high. Blinking your eyes, you close them slowly, feeling tired out due to the mind blowing orgasm you just had.

Feeling a damp cloth on your sore folds, you open you eyes unwillingly, looking at your 'boyfriend' who's cleaning you up. And who has already worn sweats. Going back to the bathroom, he throws the towel in the laundry basket, returning to the room and handing you one of his shirts and clean boxers. Shyly you put on the clothes given to you.

" Oh don't go all shy on my now when you were just screaming my name a few minutes ago. " He says laughing. Blushing you wait till he comes to sit behind you, laptop in one hand.

" Wait what about the party? " You ask, wondering why he's switching on his laptop.

" Eh. It's just another party. And I have you here now. You're all the party I'll ever need. " Pulling you close by your waist, he makes you sit between his legs, covering your legs with his comforter. Throwing a pillow on top of the comforter, he places the laptop on it, playing a newly released movie. Nuzzling into your neck, he pulls you closer and wraps his arms around your frame as you both started your first binge session.

[cannellaeluce]

I'm SO glad you watched (and liked) The Expanse. I discovered it by chance... ok, for Jared Harris reasons. And it stole my heart. Ok, mostly Camina Drummer did. Anyway, I finished it a few weeks ago and I'm still processing.

Since you've also watched Black Sails, I wanted to ask you: parallels? Maybe? Mostly Flint vs Drummer? (or actually, Nassau Vs the Belt) But somewhat opposite narratives? I don't even know if you could call them parallels or if it makes any sense to relate/compare the two shows. BUT the brainworms are real.

I can't really elaborate right now, so feel free to ignore this if it doesn't make sense 🤣 i just wanted to leave this here, just in case.

What a great ask! I feel like I'm gonna ramble a lot to get to my point, but I'll try and make your question justice =)

So, disclaimer: I adored The Expanse; I deeply deeply enjoyed it, and came to passionately care for its characters, so on so forth. But one thing that I learned the hard way is that it is better for me not to compare any show I like to Black Sails, because what that comparison ends up doing for me is usually to point out how incomparably good Black Sails is above anything else ever.

Now, does this mean that I didn’t think about possible comparisons between the two shows? Hell no. And I do believe that there is something good to be said there about the character work both shows made, both in terms of individual arcs – it could be argued that Camina is a Flint who’s been given Max’s arc – and in more general terms of how nuanced and thought-provoking and subtly progressive the characters in both shows are; how we’re allowed to explore the emotional backlash of every single choice they make; how their psychology feels grounded and real even through all the war and grief and loss they’re all constantly facing. And yet…

And yet, if I look at the overall philosophy of these shows, at their deeper meaning, at the deeper story they tell about the state of the world, I can’t help but feel that The Expanse is yet another narrative convinced that Civilisation is the good guy, and that in the dark there be dragons. There are physical incarnations of Civilisation that may be corrupt, sure: we spend the whole of the first seasons fighting them and outgrowing them. But in the end, the biggest enemy humanity has is a dragon born of darkness, and the best shot humanity has is to come together to fight for Civilisation, and against the dragon.

Now, do I blame the Expanse for this? Absolutely not; were it not for Black Sails, I would not think it possible to have any show articulate the revolutionary idea that there is freedom in the dark once we illuminate it. It’s Black Sails that sets the bar too high; the Expanse is thought-provoking and subtle and progressive in its own ways. I just think that those ways are better found in the character work. Which means that I’ll revel in the thought that the character of Naomi even exists: a marginalised woman who’s a brilliant engineer and who’s allowed by the narrative to put her own survival and shot at happiness before her motherhood, without it depriving her of her capacity for love. I’ll rejoice at thinking that we got a male hero such as Holden: a quiet, physically frail man whose strongest suit is his deep compassion for others and whose arc is fulfilled by him letting go of power. I’ll stand in awe in front of Camina Drummer, pirate queen extraordinaire, a marginalised queer woman who’s allowed to fight and love and lose and emerge from her all encompassing grief unbroken, unbent, unbowed, wielding unimaginable power with which to protect her people. And I could go on raving about Avasarala, the literal more powerful person in the universe being a woman of colour who so easily exudes authority and assertiveness through her every move that she could single-handedly end sexism and racism by the simple act of standing in a crowd and commanding it; or about Bobby Draper of my buddy Amos or anybody else, really.

These are the things that I’ll keep thinking about when I think about the Expanse. Whenever I’ll want to have my mind blown by the thought that we are many and they are few to fear death is a choice and they can’t hang us all – I’ll rewatch Black Sails.

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Fanfic recommendations part three: Season 7 fix-its

Some of these stories are post season 7 finale, some of them take place during season 7 and diverge from canon. Season 8 who? We don’t know her.

I’ve read and enjoyed all of these stories, they are all worth the read.

(By the way this is a big category, so this post is huge)

All Our Yesterdays by ChronicallyChill

After the events of "Street Fighting Man", Jackie and Hyde wish more than anything that things had happened differently. The next morning, they wake up in the past, on the morning of Vanstock where Jackie promptly makes one dream come true. They are not together—but, soon enough, one change snowballs into another... Time Travel AU.

I didn’t knew if I should’ve placed this story on the season 7 fix-it category or in the AU category, in the end I chose this one, if you think it’s incorrect, please let me know so I can change it.

Okay so this story deserves a special comment because OH MY GOD, it’s incredible. It’s amazing how the author writes the characters so well, and I simply love the addition of Buddy Morgan to the gang.

This story is a WIP, it hasn’t been updated in a while but I still have faith.

121k words, 7 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Buddy/Fez

Also available on AO3

As You Wish by c00kiefic

A dark comedic look at love, loss and death. Hyde’s there for Jackie when she needs him the most.

This story is complete.

7k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Daddy’s Home by bellamarie

Jackie and Hyde’s relationship has been smooth sailing for the most part since their last break-up in ‘79. As Hyde begins to seriously commit to Jackie, her dad is released from prison and he returns home to supposedly rekindle his relationship with her. Hyde, suspecting that Jack’s intentions aren’t pure, enlists the help of his friends to try and expose Jack for the still crook man that he is. While Hyde may be a paranoid burnout, he knows that the wily politician is up to no good. There is one thing, however, both men have a common interest in: Jackie Burkhart.

Okay so this story basically ignores the existence of season 8, that’s why it’s in this category.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure this is an abandoned story. Unfortunaly. It only has two chapters and damn, I’m dreaming about the day the author will update this, I’m already hooked.

4k words, 2 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Finding the Right Future by springsteenicious

After Chicago, Hyde starts driving to Las Vegas, planning to get over Jackie. His car nearly breaks down in Iowa, forcing him to stop. While he's there, he meets Fortune, a woman who will change the course of his life forever.

This story is complete.

13k words, 8 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Halloween is Over by MistyMountainHop

Eric wants to be scared for Halloween, really scared. Donna proposes a contest, and all their friends are in. But Hyde and Jackie's renewed relationship might not withstand the stress. Donna and Kelso must fight their impulses, and Fez and Eric's chances of survival are slim.

This story is complete.

25k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Also Available on AO3

Hyde’s Long Way Home by MistyMountainHop

This story is perfect. It literally has no defects. I love ALL of MIstyMountainHop’s stories, literally, all of them, but this one has a very special place in my heart. It’s complete and it’s definitely worth the read.

Hyde goes on a self-destructive bender after finding Jackie with a towel-wrapped Kelso. The day after that, he wakes up ... and it's the same day as before. He's doomed to live the same day over and over — unless he can figure out a way to live it right.

151k words, 26 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Also available on AO3

I’d Have You Anytime by anonymous author

What if Jackie after panicking in her show, gave up? And what if she made an unnatural friendship? Basically a fix it of season 7. If you like a story with good Jackie/Eric friendship moments, I totally recommend this one!

Trigger warning for past eating disorder.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated frequently.

15k words, 9 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

I Found a Reason by JoyfulHeartEO

Can Donna help Hyde see the light before he loses the one thing that's most important to him? Or will Jackie decide to leave at all?

Rated T.

9k words, 3 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Jackie and Hyde: The Untold Story by Lotusflower655

I was going to place this in the “Hidden Moments” category (spoiler alert, the next category), when I realised this has a different season 7 finale, so... here it is.

Rated M.

12k words, 6 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Let’s Grow Up Together by yabookreader96

One day Jackie receives a certain letter in the mail, and she finds her life quickly beginning to change. Suddenly she is a grown up navigating life on her own, drifting away from the sleepy little town of Point Place...and from her friends who can't seem to find the courage to discover life outside the Forman basement. Will her friends catch up, or will Jackie be all on her own?

This story is complete.

67k words, 12 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Magic by poetdameron

Hyde has never been good at words and Jackie has never been good at waiting, they need to find a balance to stay together. Hopefully, they'll do it before is too late.

16k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

Please Don’t Say You Love Me (’Cause I Might Not Say It Back) by orphan_account

An alternate take on the end of season 7. Instead of running off to Vegas Hyde downs a couple of beers in the good ol' El Camino before deciding that some things are more important than his pride - i.e. his relationship with Jackie.

This story is complete.

3k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Reflections Through the Glass by MistyMountainHop

Okay, this story is quite a trip, and it’s amazing. It’s based on a minisseries called The 10th Kingdom.

Six months after Chicago, Hyde no longer believes in love — or in Jackie. Donna's not speaking to Eric. Kelso's confused about his whole life, and Fez has gone missing. The only way back may be to leave it all behind.

This story is complete, and there’s a sequel, called Beneath a Shattered Sky. Honestly, I love the first story, but the sequel... The sequel is probably one of the best stories I’ve ever read. Those are both very long stories, but they are worth it.

138k words, 46 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Season 8 redo by tanith75

This is the most famous story of the fandom for a reason.

The story starts after the s7ep21 episode, so there’s no Chicago problems or people going to Africa over here :) It’s amazingly written, it’s funny as hell, and it honestly feels like I’m watching an episode of the show when I’m reading it. It’s amazing, it’s what should’ve happened in the show.

This story is not complete, but please, don’t let this stop you from reading it.

293k words, 42 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Red/Kitty, Fez/Laurie, Kelso/Brooke

Shade by MistyMountainHop

This story ignores season 8 completely and season 7 is canon, that’s why it’s in this category.

Hyde finds himself homeless on a night where Jackie is without parents. The gift he gave her last Christmas draws him to her, but his attachment lingers past that rainy first night, grows through countless experiences, and leads him across state lines. Their relationship is a high-stakes gamble, but Jackie may fold before Hyde can show all his cards.

This story is complete and it melts my heart every single time I read it.

43k words, 10 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

The Seeker by QuarterflashWoman

With Donna and Eric's own relationship kaput, after Eric left Donna at the altar, what does this mean for our favorite opposites-attract couple Steven and Jackie? Wedding bells, baptisms, betrayals, and ultimatums. It's just another year in the lives of those of Point Place.

This is mainly a season 7 hidden moments story until it diverges from canon, and it’s lovely. I wish it was complete, but it’s still worth the read.

121k words, 23 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some background Eric/Donna angst.

We’re All Alright by glittermila

In which Hyde and Jackie actually talk things out after he caught Kelso at the motel.

This is a lovely story, and I really enjoyed it, seeing Jackie and Hyde having a mature relationship is everything.

This story is complete.

48k words, 21 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Mainly Jackie/Hyde

Zenmasters: Seasons 3-5 by zdbztumble

I was having a lot of trouble categorizing this story, in the end, I decided that it was a season 7 fix-it of sorts, since season 8 doesn’t exist and season 7 ends in a satisfying way.

This story is a rewrite of some episodes, the author foreshadowed J/H relationship during seasons 3 and 4, and she added some pretty nice J/H moments in some chapters. The author also changed some things in some episodes (like the way J/H get back together after the nurse, and some other things). It’s a pretty good story, I like it a lot.

After "Jackie Bags Hyde," a certain subplot went into hibernation for a season and a half. What if it hadn't? And, if it hadn't, what other surprises would pop up along the way? "Tune in" to find out!

This story is complete.

170k words, 43 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One-shots:

A change in fate by KaraSkinner

After leaving Jackie in Chicago, Hyde gets into a car crash and meets an angel that shows him just how bleak life would be if he doesn't change his fate now.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

don’t I love you so by orphan_account

Hyde’d spent so long trying to keep her out, and what had happened? He’d finally opened up the gates, only to realise she’d been there the whole time and had had enough. Love — it was a goddamn Trojan horse.

or; a 7x25 fix it where hyde and jackie talk like adults for once in their damn lives.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Hyde Asks Jackie to Stay by springsteenicious

When Hyde finds Jackie in the basement when she's supposed to be in Chicago, his first instinct is to push her away. Instead, he asks her to stay.

2k words

Rated G.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I’m not a heartbreaker, so be gentle with mine by FalaZure

It's just a proposal, Hyde's been through worse and really how hard can it be?

or: 5 times Hyde tries to propose to Jackie, and one time he succeeds.

This story ignores season 8 completely, and it’s mainly just fluff, I LOVE it.

12k words.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Jackie Doesn’t Leave Before Getting an Answer by springsteenicious

Jackie stays in Point Place and waits for an answer to her ultimatum. At long last, Hyde gives her one.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Let’s Do It by poetdameron

According to the tags, season 8 does not exist on this story, so off to the season 7 fix-its category you go.

There are things a man should not say after great orgasms on Christmas' Eve, Steven Hyde should have known better.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Moth Drawn to Light by blackorchids

After Hyde sees how good Jackie is with baby Betsy, it makes him start to think.

Ignores the existence of season 8 completely. Just a fluff little one-shot on Hyde’s thoughts about fatherhood.

1k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Our Last Night on Earth by c00kiefic

When Hyde wakes up in the beer warehouse, he decides to actually fight for his girl.

3k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Remember to Breathe by PrefectMoony

She’s all bubblegum laughter, and butter scotch kisses. Hyde thinks he loves her, thinks he’s always loved her. Hates that it’s taken him so long to tell her as much.

Hates it even more that the first time he’s ever told her so is when the break between them is too raw— too jagged— to be able to mend with pretty platitudes.

Beautifully written.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

sighs in my sleep by finkpishnets

“Congratulations,” the nurse says, smile pulled too tight as she glances at Jackie’s unadorned hand.

Jackie wants to shrug it off — “My husband’s getting the ring engraved as an anniversary gift. Isn’t that just so romantic?” — but she can’t find the breath to let the lie trip off her tongue, even in the face of pity.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Street Fighting Man by springsteenicious

Hyde finds Jackie crying at the Packers Game. He tries to fix it.

1k words

Rated G

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Tea For One by KayRight

The second Mrs. Forman walked in with a letter for him he knew what had happened. Marrying her scared him, but losing her terrified him to his very core. Takes place in Season 7 after Jackie tells Hyde she got a job in Chicago.

2k words.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One Where They’re Happy by amidtheflowers

When Jackie and Hyde start dating, it takes the gang a while to see how that relationship even works. Something that creepy and unnatural can't possibly work, right? Meanwhile, Donna wonders why she puts up with any of them.

Adorable, I love this story so much, please read this.

3k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

we’ll be alright by marvelfoodlover

What if Jackie didn't easily forgive the gang after they missed her graduation party?

Season 7 fix-it because it diverges from canon.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I think that covers it.

I’ll repeat this at the end of every single post: speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so… yeah, this is just an idea.

If you think I left out a good story, feel free to reply to this post!

Next category: Hidden Moments

[wakaoujisenhime]

In your opinion what jobs (besides playing basketball) do you think Gom and Kagami would have??

That’s a pretty interesting and hard question, my dear anon! Let me think and try to completely ignore the creator’s canon job choices for our dear boys (シ_ _)シ also I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to do some headcanon scenarios so I kinda mixed my answers and some short HC imagines!

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Kagami

ok so according to the Characters Bible he would’ve become a firefighter and I can actually see that

but if you ask me, he could’ve also become a professional cook who specializes in Western as well as East Asian cuisine

he’d never give up on basketball though, so Kagami would most likely continue playing street basketball in his spare time

Kuroko

the canon take on Kuroko’s job is a kindergarten teacher, which is understandable but doesn’t satisfy me that much

I always imagined him as a librarian and a freelance author, mainly because of his silent and observant nature as well as his love for books

the image of him sitting outside of Maji Burger in a blue cardigan, a pair of glasses on his nose, legs crossed, slurping on a vanilla milkshake while he thinks about his next book’s scenario just seems to fit him a hundred percent  

Kise

I still can’t understand why sensei chose to make him a pilot and where that idea even came from, but OK

Kise is, in my eyes at least, born for the stage...and with that, I don’t only mean that he’s the born movie actor, but he’s just made for the show business

theater, ads, series, late-night-shows, gaming shows, you name it

he’d try every single existing genre before picking his favorite and sticking to it (personally, I think he’d pick J-Dramas and the advertising of beauty products for both men and women)  

Midorima

CB says doctor and I couldn’t agree more

but I can also see him work as a teacher in chemistry, biology, and math OR he’d take an entirely different path and become a professional classical musician

no matter what job he does, he’ll take it very seriously and be very strict with himself or his students, but much like any other human being, Midorima would also have his vulnerable moments especially when he’s forgotten his lucky item

another thing I’d like to imagine is him having a secret blog dedicated to astrology and fortune-telling inspired by Oha Asa of course

Aomine

I can’t help but chuckle every time I remember that he would’ve become a police officer, but it does suit him in a way

in all honesty, it’s pretty hard to imagine him doing anything else except basketball, but I’d like to think that he has the potential in becoming an idol group’s manger

Aomine would usually take care of the more experienced female idol groups and appear to be quite the jokester to others, but his idols know just how hard he’s actually working for them

you know when friends/roommates etc. see their friend who’s fallen asleep somewhere random and they just giggle and cover them with a blanket? that’s 100% Aomine and his idols  

Murasakibara

Bible said pastry chef and I’m somewhat satisfied

if you ask me, not giving someone who loves sweets as much as Murasakibara an own bakery is a little sad, so I’d like to say that he owns one and functions as not only the owner but the main confectioner as well

have you ever heard of Buddy Valastro or seen his TV show “Cake Boss”? because that’s how I imagine our purple giant in the future

Akashi

he would’ve become a professional shogi player and I don’t even dare doubt that for even a split second

with a multi-talented young man like him who can basically do anything he wanted, I’d like to say that him being a professional rider would actually suit him way more

Akashi owns his own horse and loves it to bits and no matter which media you consider I think that he enjoys horseback riding the most since it gives him that sense of freedom he’s always longed for  

[gas-station-trackphone]

Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans

Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?

the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M

the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite

broken record by spunknbite, rated E

the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”

literally everything by stitchy

like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did 

the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E

ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10

let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E

OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah

a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E

another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat

keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T

angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing

collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E

a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.

the greater fool  series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E

this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must

brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E

27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.

let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M

speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!

walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T

unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger. 

in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E

post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates

pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E

high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending

like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M

adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute

no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E

richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk

a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E

another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love!  also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic

adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T

AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart

the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T

eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.

now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E

it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves

signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T

one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT

broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E

back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately

eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M

for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it

love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E

okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?

the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E

eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time

richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M

a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up

september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T

cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites

go west by ssstrychnine, rated T

road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again

the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M

character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic

circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M

soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible

tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E

college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending 

predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E

i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read

there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long

feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!

[generallynerdy]

Hold Him (Poe Dameron X M!Reader)

Summary: Poe lands on Ajan Kloss after destroying the Final Order once and for all with only one thought on his mind; he desperately wants to find his boyfriend and kiss the life out of him. (Y/N), however, has other ideas. Like maybe punching his beloved idiot.

Requested by Anon: Disaster bi Poe = best Poe so can I get Poe x M!reader where Poe just landed after the final battle in TROS and reader smacks him for putting himself in danger and then kisses him cause GOD does he love that idiot

Key: (Y/N) - your name Warnings: author self-projects desperately bc he wants a relationship like this, minor cursing, author still hasn’t decided on pronouns for droid characters leave me alone, Sequel Canon exists unfortunately and is prevalent in this fic :/ Word Count: 1,153

Note: technically i fulfilled the prompt by 500 words but i’m a weak bitch and my brain worms have complete power over my fingers so. ANYWAY my dumb gay ass fell way more in love with Poe writing this but i haven’t watched the movies in a while so he may be slightly OOC, Finn might be too so that’s my bad. Also wild thing that comes with realising im bigender is that it’s so much easier to write with,,,all the pronouns AND i can self project onto every single fic

    Poe Dameron practically launched himself from his X-Wing the moment it touched down on Ajan Kloss. His heart was light with victory, with freedom from a war he’d spent far too long fighting. Too many thoughts were running through his head, almost at the same rate as his pulse, which hadn’t dropped since they took off from the base hours before.

    But the one thing that kept coming to mind was that he desperately, desperately wanted to find his boyfriend and hold him for the next 20 years.

    Pushing through the crowd of exhilarated rebels, Poe smiled and greeted the occasional familiar face, but he was really focused on finding his man. He didn’t catch sight of him immediately and, in fact, found Finn first.

    “Finn!” he cried, rushing to greet his friend with a tight hug.

    “We did it-- General,” Finn said with a fond, mischievous grin.

    Poe smiled back. “General. Hey, have you seen (Y/N)?”

    He grimaced. “Uh, no, but you’re a dead man. Threatening to come pull us off the star destroyer? You’re dead.”

    “Hey, I’ll be fine,” he said, waving him off. “He loves me.”

    Finn looked over his shoulder, eyes going wide. “Yeah, uh, not that much. Good luck.”

    He made himself scarce as soon as Poe turned around. The man was met with (Y/N), his dear, dear boyfriend, and said boyfriend’s most vicious scowl.

    Poe winced, but played it off with a smile. “Hey, hon--���

    “Don’t you ‘honey’ me, Poe Dameron!” (Y/N) scolded, storming up to him and hitting his shoulder. “You’re a karking dumbass!”

    “(Y/N)--”

    He scoffed, gesturing wildly. “Oh, I’ll just fly right up beside a star destroyer and I’ll be perfectly fine! I’ll just kill myself for the sake of three people and a droid!”

    “I was protecting you and BB and Finn and Jannah,” he said firmly. “It would have been worth it-- but I didn’t even end up doing and you’re all safe. So can you please just breathe?”

    (Y/N) inhaled deeply. Poe waited.

    A moment later, he was dragged into a kiss. He made a little happy, amused hum and pulled (Y/N) in by his waist. (Y/N) would have rolled his eyes if they weren’t closed. Instead, he reached up to cup Poe’s head and run his fingers through his hair, earning him a pleased huff. (Y/N) loved playing with his hair and Poe loved the feeling of it, so it was a win-win situation.

    When (Y/N) let the poor man breathe again, he couldn’t help smacking his shoulder. “I don’t know why I love you,” he mumbled before falling into his shoulder forehead-first.

    Poe laughed. “I’m insufferable and it’s part of my charm?”

    (Y/N) muttered something incoherent against his flight suit, while Poe rubbed a comforting hand across his back. He noted with fondness that his boyfriend was wearing his jacket, which sent a wave of affection through his chest, almost like he’d been shot. 

The weight of his mother’s ring hanging on a chain around his neck fell heavy against his heart, reminding him of the promise he’d made to himself. When this is over...Well, it was over now. It was over and Poe was free to make a million promises to this man, this man that he loved with every bit of his soul. That ring was going to be his.

He noticed then that (Y/N) had tucked in closer and gone silent.

“Hey,” he whispered against his hair. “Hey, you okay? You hurt?”

(Y/N) mumbled a muffled negative, but buried his face in Poe’s neck. “No. ‘M fine.”

Poe frowned. Something wasn’t right. “What is it, baby?”

Finally, his boyfriend looked up, meeting his gaze with something that he might call bittersweetness, though he couldn’t understand why.

“It’s over,” (Y/N) breathed out.

Poe couldn’t help a soft smile. “Yeah, baby, it’s over. But you...don’t look happy. What’s wrong?”

“I just--” he paused. “Shit. We’ve been fighting for years. Everything we’ve done, everything we are is because of this war. And now it’s just-- it’s over. What are we gonna do?”

He considered this for a long moment. “I don’t know,” he admitted with a smile. “I have no idea. That’s kind of great, isn’t it? We could do anything we want, go anywhere we want, and I don’t even know where to start!”

“It’s terrifying!” (Y/N) cried. “We have no idea what we’re doing!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said soothingly, caressing his cheek with his thumb and holding him close. “We’ve got each other, we’ve got money, we’ve got friends-- we’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you, you’ve got me. That’s all we need.”

His boyfriend huffed a little. “You’re so cheesy.”

“You love me,” he sang, pressing a finger to his nose teasingly.

(Y/N) rolled his eyes. “I do. Love you, I mean. Even though you’re a reckless idiot who doesn’t worry nearly as much as you should.”

“I already know what I’m gonna do for the next 20 years,” Poe said, leaning forward to kiss him chastely. “I’m gonna spend every single day with the people I love; exploring the galaxy, flying my ship, taking care of my droid, holding my boyfriend-- who I intend to marry--”

He laughed. “Take me on a proper date first, Dameron, and we’ll see.”

“See? We already have plans!” he declared. “Maybe a few rugrats in the future--”

“I am so not ready to be a parent,” (Y/N) said firmly.

Poe raised an eyebrow. “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you already are.”

An indignant whirr and beep sounded in the distance. A tiny ball of orange and white rolled viciously toward the pair, making (Y/N) burst into laughter.

“Speaking of your child--”

“Our child,” Poe corrected immediately. “You were definitely involved in the raising process.”

(Y/N) rolled his eyes. “Implying that the raising process is over.”

BB-8 shrieked excitedly upon approach, bumping into Poe’s legs and then rolling in between him and (Y/N), bouncing up and down as best as a little ball could.

“Hey, buddy!” Poe greeted fondly, leaning down to properly do so.

Beebee started spouting off about the mission on Exegol, father-figure listening intently. Nearby, Finn and Rey came out of nowhere, laughing and refusing to move away from each other after the day’s events. Rose and Chewie were nearby, too, embracing and, in Chewie’s case, roaring with joy. Jannah and Lando spoke in quiet tones to each other, but (Y/N)’s gaze moved away from all of them and back to his boyfriend.

“No kidding!” Poe was saying to his-- their droid-child, glancing up at (Y/N) to shoot him a desperately lovesick, overjoyed smile.

(Y/N) smiled back and, looking at his little family, couldn’t help thinking that maybe the future wasn’t so terrifying a thought after all.

[deepsought]

permanent plotter call. 

helllo gamers. fancy seeing you here... on this dash where we are all members of the same group—— anyway i’m a thief and i’m copying the latest trend but you know what ?? i have that right. i am the rules. insert other questionable and weird shit gilgamesh says. so yes, if it wasn’t clear, this is going to be a PLOTTER CALL for gilgamesh ! 

as this might get a little lengthy, i’ll be putting the basic relationship ideas i have under a read more. that said, if you like this post / reply with the number you think could work for gil & your muse, i’ll be able to message you with some idea of what you’re interested in ! it’ll also mean you’re open to me sending you memes, you sending me memes, the usual meme shenanigans.

01. aquaintances : started from the bottom and you’re still at the bottom. aka, this is how he would interact with most people. gilgamesh considers himself an adjudicator of humanity and does not like to get overly attached to individuals on that basis. he is an observer, detached from mankind as a being who is divine in origin. as such, he does not establish much of an emotional connection with most of the people he meets. he is still amicable to the prospect of offering guidance or assistance where he thinks it necessary ( and trust me when i say it takes a lot for him to involve himself personally ), so that isn’t to say it is impossible to start Something with him. but it takes quite a bit to move past this stage unless you really pique his interest, so to say. you’re all his subjects, basically, because he’s the eternally reigning king. 

02. friends : can we really say the king has any true friends ? maybe one. but even then, he was summoned in sort of an awkward stage of his life where he isn’t as comfortable approaching them as he might have been in another class. so, he isn’t the friendliest person in the world, if you haven’t already figured that out. certainly not as difficult to interact with as his archer self would be, but at the same time, he is still gilgamesh. at his core, he will always be egotistical and self-assured in his adulthood. that doesn’t mean people aren’t capable of earning his acknowledgement and later, his friendship. he may just never phrase it as such. he’d be more likely to say that you’ve ‘earned the king’s favor’ or something stupid like that. caster is kind of a pain, but he is loyal to a fault to those he cares for ( despite his less than desirable way of communicating it ). a small positive ? 

03. fellow rulers / divine beings / non-humans : i just think it might be neat for him to get to know any fellow royals or demi-gods / gods / whatever else is out there. i mean, like i said before, gilgamesh still considers himself the one true king. so long as mankind continues to exist, they will always be his subjects. but he is also at a stage of his life where he is appreciative of the insights of other rulers. he does not scorn them, nor would he dismiss their status as a ruler. even if he once held clairvoyance and knew all there was to know, he likes to hear the experiences of people from word of mouth too. any individual with divine blood or who was generally inhuman might also interest him depending on their character, as they fall outside of his self-imposed jurisdiction of ruling over ‘humanity’. he has no authority over those who are not ‘human’. oh yeah, but if you’re a god, he would instinctively dislike you - or at the very least be somewhat spiteful. generally speaking, the only god he actually likes is his mother. the rest are either hated, disrespected or just plain ignored ( but he is willing to cooperate out of necessity ). 

04. study buddies : are you a scholar ? a learned individual? do you have a talent or knowledge that would be otherwise useful in nation-building or otherwise ? then gilgamesh would be more open to speaking with you ! he is known to overwork himself on anything and everything. he drafted architectural ideas for uruk, played a key part in developing them, led armies and his people for years and built up a very successful kingdom to the point of being called the ‘sage king’. but as he needed the cooperation of the masses to accomplish this successfully, he has a genuine appreciation for those who have a talent and use it. use being the keyword here. he would honestly be very happy throwing ideas off of someone, no matter the topic, and hearing their own in return. he has familiarised himself with most every topic, scholarly or otherwise, so it doesn’t matter what field it is. 

05. romance : listen. look at me. he’s married to uruk and to paperwork. he’s a single dad to many kids he willingly adopted. chances are romance is the last thing on his mind. i am being very honest here but it’s just... it would take a lot of chemistry to make him think about anything other than working himself half to death. i won’t say its impossible. but it isn’t the most likely thing to occur. of course, people can have crushes on him if they so wish. i hate admitting it, but he’s pretty. i understand. and again, i’m not saying shipping isn’t going to happen. but i just. gilgamesh. 

06. dad noises : okay so listen. gil is not the best guy for interacting with. like, at all. but he does have dad inclinations. i have no other way to explain that beyond ‘dad inclinations’. welcome to my twisted mind. anyway, you don’t have to be a literal child for him to want to offer guidance and assistance where he can. he is just extremely soft on kids - to young children or young adults. his master is one example, as is mashu. his attitude ( or at the very least, his way of speaking ) typically remains the same, but he is nowhere near as harsh with them. instead, he’s much more willing to speak with kids and help them out. sometimes you just be living life and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you’re adopted by the king of heroes. 

07. dad noises 2.0 electric boogaloo : please do not question the name of this section either it is the thrilling sequel related to the above and i did not know what else to call it. i just ( points at ritsuka fujimaru ) if you have any association with his master, gilgamesh will make a point of knowing who you are and how you’re related to her. be it as a servant of hers or just someone she’s friends with, it’s an excuse that stands to reason why he’d be interacting with them. he might pretend that he isn’t protective, or that he doesn’t care much for her, but we all know that is a big fat lie ! their relationship is this vine and i will never change my stance on it. thank you.

and that’s all i can think of right now ! of course, if you had any of your own ideas that don’t fit in these, then i welcome them. honestly, these are just. kind of a mess. i don’t blame you. like i said before, if you like this post ( regardless of whether you mention a specific number ), i’ll message you at some point to butt heads and see what we can come up with ! thank you for reading ! 

[deltaengineering]

Spring Anime 2020 Part 3: something for the thingken man

Arte

Another one from the “this sounded better as a synopsis” department. Arte is about a girl who wants to become a painter in Renaissance Florence, and that seems like it’s not what you get with your generic seasonal TV anime. Well guess what, it has a few problems. One is that the setting is basically just the backgrounds. This could be set in any period or universe and you wouldn’t have to change anything but a bunch of names, if even that, and it’s possibly the most anime anime in the entire season as a result. The other one is that the writing is unbelievably lazy. I mean, it’s an anime named “Arte” about a girl named “Arte” who wants to be an artist, so I don’t know what I was expecting, but still — every single plot beat is entirely predictable if you’ve ever seen any story about some outsider trying to do a thing and hooking up with a grumpy sensei. Of course, “outsider” in this case means GIRL POWER, which is another can of worms entirely. Agreeable theme does not a good story make, especially if your writing just amounts to literally stating said theme and throwing in some deepities like “believe in yourself and do your best” coupled with Meaningful Haircuts™. On the upside, it’s so dumb and blunt it’s hilarious, and it’s not exactly hard to watch, so I might actually just stick with it for the comedy.

Gal to Kyouryuu

This is a gag comedy about a gal who lives with a dinosaur, but that doesn’t matter so let’s just get straight to the point: Kamikaze Douga is doing Pop Team Epic again. Surrealism, random French, various animation styles, and even repeating the A part as the B part (apparently they have some money now so the latter is a live-action version of the former this time, but it’s still the same idea). Much like PTE, this just should have been a short (even though it’s a lot slower), but if you breathlessly posted a lot about Hellshake Yano on Twitter ca. 2018 you might as well find out what wacky ideas Kamikaze comes up with this time. Personally, what I liked about PTE were the straight up bkub parts, as little of them as there were, and they’re obviously the one aspect that’s now missing. 

Gleipnir

Gleipnir is a superpower fightin’ animu, though that may not be the salient part even if it’s how the author sold it to his manga publisher back in the day. I completely understand, since “extremely greasy FNAF fetish fic” just doesn’t have quite the same ring to it: It’s about a spineless guy who morphs into a furry mascot suit and is then piloted from the inside by a sadistic younger girl, because the only thing hotter than stepping on you is stepping IN you. To be fair, the best part by far is that it makes no bones whatsoever about this and is intensely sexual, which makes it come across less as “Animorphs wanking on the sly” and more like a schlocky-but-unpretentious version of Aku no Hana. The production also supports this with an appropriately demented denpa atmosphere. So it’s better than it sounds (both ways), but I still have severe doubts if it’s worth watching because overall it’s not all that ambitious either and definitely not fun.

Hamefura

Yay, more isekai. At least this is from the slightly less tired otome side of things. Girl gets reborn in her favorite fantasy otome dating sim but get this, she’s the villain and she knows that all outcomes aren’t any good for her! I gotta say that it’s a little interesting, but in practice it’s not all that great either. The big issue is that it doesn’t get to the good part (which is living in a dating sim) fast enough and just spends its time puttering around in childhood backstoryland, setting up characters that aren’t all that captivating or novel. This makes me assume that Hamefura is ultimately more interested in just being a slightly off-kilter, mildly self-aware and moderately funny otome harem than any sort of deeper idea, such as dealing with causality and outcomes. It’s plenty watchable, which is a lot more than you can usually say for these things, but it’s no Honzuki either so I think I’ll pass.

Yesterday wo Utatte

So this is about a 90s slacker who works in a shitty convenience store with his unruly buddy and is torn between a manic pixie dream girl and a boring normal option. Oh shit Kevin Smith, what are you doing? Still mad that the first Clerks cartoon was a flop? Of course this isn’t just straight up Clerks, even if the source material is straight out of 1997. For starters, it’s not funny in any way whatsoever and consists mostly of people wistfully sitting in parks pondering the meaning of their existence. It also has nifty production values with Doga Kobo doing serious character animation for serious sakuga appreciators. I can’t honestly call this “pretentious” as I like to do (needs much more SHAFT for that), but it certainly does very little for me, because I know for a fact that character drama doesn’t have to be this dour, boring or full of self-deprecating losers to be good, and can include lines like “try to not suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot” without being any less meaningful. Let me put it this way: 5 minutes into Yesterday I said “If Nick Creamer gives this anything less than a perfect score I’ll eat my hat”. I ended up having a turkey sandwich instead.

[tessatechaitea]

Justice League Spectacular #1 (1992)

Just off-panel: Bibbo's ice cream truck.

I probably shouldn't be reading this or Justice League Quarterly before I read the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League but what can I do? That's the order they were placed in the short box! It would be a different story if free will were not an illusion but since it is, my hands are tied. It's either read this or, um, I don't know. Die from a temporal paradox? I won't risk it! I was looking through a bunch of my old writing and art last week and discovered a bunch of the kind of sentimental and sort of intellectual crap young people write. It's the kind of stuff you hide away and never show anybody ever and hope that when you die, it'll just get tossed in a dumpster with your old porn and Magic the Gathering cards. But it got me thinking about how brave I am! So brave! The kind of brave you wouldn't hesitate to call some jerk who signed up for the military because he couldn't live as a civilian. No, no. More braver than that! And being this super brave kind of person, I thought that maybe I should share some of this old poetry with everybody! But not yet! You have to work up to being truly brave! So instead, I'll share this piece of artwork I did that was supposed to be the first in a lengthy and disgusting series. It's of Lord Fondlerot, a character I created for the Dwarflover online comic I used to do. He was really into fucking things and I thought, "Hey! I should do a series of drawings where he fucks every creature in the monster manual!" But instead of doing an entire series, I drew one picture and grew either bored or disgusted with the concept. So here's that one picture:

Lord Fondlerot fucking an Axebeak.

Now you're probably wondering just how terrible my poetry must be if I'm opening with that! Well, you'll see soon enough! This issue begins with Sue Dibny still alive and visiting a Florida theme park with her husband, The Elasticated Man. Wow, remember when Sue Dibny was killed and all the heroes freaked out about their secret identities and considered doing intense brain damage to every single person who ever knew any of their identities until they found out that The Atom's ex-wife Jean Loring had gone cuckoo for Atom's cocoa puffs? She wanted them back so bad that she began threatening and murdering the loved ones of all the super heroes. It was the kind of story DC sometimes does where you read it and think, "Well, the twist at the end of that mystery was definitely worth the destruction of the most stable marriage in the DC Universe and also the death of Firestorm and Captain Boomerang! So good!" I mean it doesn't make you think that. It makes you think the exact opposite. Tom King would eventually do pretty much the same thing in Heroes in Crisis but instead of Jean Loring fucking up by accidentally killing Sue Dibny and murdering more people to cover her tracks, Wally West fucks up and kills Poison Ivy and some others and then tries to cover his tracks. But at least Tom King's had all of those entertaining scenes where the heroes are doing therapy and we get to see how much they're all suffering from PTSD. That's always a fun aspect of super heroes we never get to read enough about. Dammit! I keep doing it. I meant it was the opposite of fun! Although I still liked it because sometimes I just like seeing other people in pain. Not in a sick perverse way where I pop a boner or something! Just in that way where you sit around all day thinking, "My life is terrible and everything is wrong and I hate my parents for bringing me into this wretched existence and the only thing that might make me feel better is to learn that Superman sometimes feels the same way." Oh, remember when Tom King was writing Batman and he had that two issue Booster Gold arc where we got to see how fucking insane Booster Gold was from living through all of those horrible, wretched, dark alternate timelines? And the only way he can deal with the trauma and the PTSD is by making a joke out of everything? I'll have to think of that as the canon Booster Gold when I'm reading Giffen and DeMatteis's Justice League. Maybe it'll make all of Booster and Beetle's inappropriate joking more appropriate. Back to the story, Sue Dibny, alive and well, and her husband Ralph "The Elasticated Man" Dibny are busy showing a bunch of European diplomats around the non-Disney World theme park.

See? You can tell they're European because they're all smart and shit.

The first stop in the park is to Alice's Wonderland where the diplomats are attacked by the Royal Flush Gang. They are a gang whose theme is playing cards and not expensive toilets. Their powers are the ability to ride on gigantic cards and to make poker puns.

If looking good in tight fitting costumes is also a power, it's my new answer to the question of which super power would I choose..

Ten's outfit reminds me of the days when nipples were allowed to show through tops without being erased away through some kind of editing software. The 70s were a wild decade! Sure, there were also nips on television in the 80s but the 80s, generally speaking, sucked and were a huge contribution to the downfall of America.

The King of Spades mansplaining their entire concept to the Queen of Spades.

It's true that the royal flush beats any other poker hand but I doubt Superman is going to surrender after this concept is explained to him because, in the end, they're not fucking playing poker. It turns out Maxwell Lord paid the Royal Flush Gang to make a little trouble so the Justice League could beat them up and get some media attention. But the Justice League has apparently broken up and The Elasticated Man just isn't hero enough to save the European delegates all by himself. He might have been if the Royal Flush Gang had done what they were told and not really fight back. But why would they do that?! Wouldn't they still be in trouble with federal agents?! Booster Gold finds Blue Beetle busy pouting in the old Justice League cave headquarters. Booster has decided to try to cheer his old buddy up although why wouldn't Booster just travel to a timeline where Ted Kord is already cheered up? Is that how time travel works in the DCU? Or did Booster already try that, it went horribly sideways, and now he's a little more fucked up in the head when he returns to the "real" timeline?

For some reason, Ice and Fire have also come down to the cave. Probably to accidentally go on a double date with Booster and Beetle. Booster and Fire and Beetle and Ice hear a news report about the Royal Flush Gang and decide to go save Ralph. Superman also hears about the situation and heads to Florida where he's almost immediately defeated by The Royal Flush Gang. Not because they're dangerous and competent super villains but because some mysterious benefactor has give them weapons capable of knocking out Superman's powers. Maxwell Lord is not that benefactor so who could have done it? Certainly not Guy Gardner, right?! What would he want with getting the Justice League back together. Isn't he busy being Warrior or something by this point? Power Girl, Metamorpho, and Guy Gardner all join in on the fight. The guy behind it all is that Weapons Master dude who is desperate to get a new weapon for his arsenal: a Green Lantern ring. The attack on the Royal Flush Gang fails to get him the ring so he decides to attack directly. But not in this issue! He has to wait for a regular series issue. Ice uses Guy's ring to contact Hal Jordan because somebody finally decided this Justice League wasn't really a big league Justice League. Everybody reading it knew it for years. But I guess Dan Jurgens was assigned the task to get a new, more believably powerful League together. So Hal Jordan flies around to pick up some new members to save the day. He chooses The Flash and Aquaman which seems about right. But he also chooses Crimson Fox which seems like sliding backwards into goofy Justice League territory. Not that I totally approve of Aquaman but I have to admit he's a "serious" choice for the League.

Doctor Light also joins the party. Although why she'd keep the name of a pedo, I couldn't guess. Just become Lightwoman or something. But no! Once some jerk earns their doctorate, they just have to demand to be called Doctor.

I'm sorry. I was too distracted pointing out that Doctor Light joined the fight and how her namesake was a pervert to comment on Metamorpho acting like a huge fucking pig. Crimson Fox beats up some guys dressed as cards and admits that she's a boring idiot whose favorite part of the game is shuffling the cards. I understand the need to think up some kind of goofy one-liner when you go into battle but shouldn't you at least try to think up one that doesn't make yourself sound like a pathetic asshole? Weapons Master's plan failed but he figures he has enough information to get Green Lantern's ring next time. He'll then sell it to a Dominator for a few bucks and maybe some slaves. The big hitters talk it over and decide they should start a new Justice League without the approval of the United Nations. Yeah! Who needs some stupid Earthly authority when you've got an invulnerable Kryptonian, an all powerful space cop, and the king of the seven seas! All they need is a Greek Goddess and a mentally ill furry with a long history of violent behavior and they'll have the big team back together! Booyah! I mean, without that stupid Booyah shit because Cyborg is basically a toaster at this point. Maybe. I don't know! What am I, Johnni DC, Continuity Cop?! The heroes make one more decision: split the group into two Leagues. So once again, they're forming Justice League America and Justice League Europe. How come I don't remember this shit?! Did the comics get canceled in '92 and then immediately fired back up? I don't seem to remember two different incarnations of these teams. Maybe I should have stored my comic books in chronological order so it would all make sense. Justice League Spectacular #1 Rating: C. I just read the letters pages and it looks like this comic book takes place between JLA #60 and JLA #61! So editorial decided the teams needed to be shaken up and the best way to do it was to disband the League in the regular series, have a special one-shot comic that gets them back together but with a different roster, and then send them back to work in the next issue of the regular series. I guess I should just shove this comic book into the middle of the regular series so when I reread it all again in my 80s, it'll make more sense! Let's close with the worst drawing of Aquaman I've ever seen:

Actually, he looks a little bit like Grunion Guy.

[vaguely-concerned]

I am reading the Rogue One visual guide and I’m going to ramble at you about it

Starting with Baze and Chirrut facts because nothing is more important than Baze and Chirrut

- The Guardians of the Whills believe very deeply in the Force but their cosmology doesn’t center any fight between light and dark and they believe mortal minds can ‘encompass the totality of the Force’ with the right training (seemingly even for non-Force sensitives). *thinks of a little green baby who’s going to need some help with his place in the universe one day and how reductive the light/dark side dichotomy can be* good to know good to know. yes everything eventually comes down to baby yoda and his poor stressed out dad. protect them

- “Opposites in balance. Chirrut Îmwe and Baze Malbus share a homeworld and a history, although they strike a compelling contrast. Baze is a hardened pragmatist, while Chirrut’s faith flourishes even in trying times. They both claim to act as the protector of the other.” 

in every way they are #goals. bffs/partners to lovers is Everything. ‘They both claim to act as the protector of the other’ is very funny and very sweet and very true; my favourite thing

- this book describes chirrut as baze’s ‘best friend and moral compass’, which is a funny way of spelling ‘husband of 30 years’ but who am I to criticize 

- baze is just. he’s so good. they say here pragmatism is his biggest trait but you can tell how much love has been at the center of him (and probably continues to be under it all) from the totality of his rage. I don’t think you can be this deeply hurt without loving just as deeply first. (like chirrut says, he used to believe more than anyone and now he’s thrown aside literally everything about the guardians except chirrut) it’s like he’s suffered a moral wound just seeing what’s happened to his home and it won’t heal and it never does, he just loses chirrut too and then at least it’s over. jesus christ it’s so soul crushingly sad in a quiet undramatic way 

- “Though both are Guardians of the Whills, Baze and Chirrut could not be more different in their approach to combat. Traditionalist Chirrut still carries weapons associated with the ancient order, while Baze adopts an implement of modern warfare. Their methods suit them individually, and both are effective extensions of their distinctive personalities. Though Baze may chide Chirrut for his antiques, and Chirrut may decry Baze’s reliance on soulless tools, they trust each other’s defences to such weapons.”

THEY TRUST EACH OTHER’S DEFENCES TO SUCH WEAPONS. YOU HAD TO WORD IT LIKE THAT HUH. YOU HAD TO GO AND MAKE IT CLEAR THEY’RE EACH OTHER’S MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. WHAT. THE FUCK

- it’s implied baze’s hair used to be shorter when he was a Guardian! he’s just let it grow past what’s customary for them (and an excellent choice too his hair is wonderful)

- his repeating blaster is described as ‘modified and highly illegal’ hahaha

it also weighs 30 kg and is meant to be mounted on a tank

baze is the best

- chirrut built his own lightbow! apparently used to be a thing the guardians did to symbolize the end of their training. I wonder if baze used to have one too? even more I wonder if they’ve always been part of the same uh ‘divisions’ or what have you within the guardians, because I think there are some implications that baze has been more of an assassin/focused on violent conflicts even before the empire came and chirrut hasn’t

- this book does not adequately capture chirrut’s trickster/funny side, making me wonder how much of that was an addition by the actor and how much was planned out

- honestly... more baze & chirrut (well baze/chirrut let’s not play here) prequel books WHEN. what does their living room look like (because we do know they live together) how did they meet, when exactly did baze lose his faith and chirrut his sight, what was their first kiss like 

inquiring minds want to know (it’s me I want to know) 

- unless the wording is deliberately misleading here chirrut was not born blind (though he won’t discuss how he ended up this way) and he’s learned his current fighting technique over a prolonged period of time 

- bodhi is a bit of a gambling addict! and specifically one who’s pretty good at it; even after the empire knows he’s a defector he gets past their restrictions because he’s saved up all the credits/favours/even id-vouchers he’s owed by other imperial grunts fsdhfksdjf precious I love him 

- saw gerrera’s medical droid a) has been modified so its programming won’t stop it from being able to dispense drugs at dangerous intervals, b) professes sheer bafflement that saw is still alive and c) is ‘frequently deactivated to prevent it from building an ethical case to discontinue treatment’. I find the whole thing darkly hilarious.  

- there are literally whole subplots going on in the crowd scenes on Jedha about a mad evil surgeon who ‘decraniates’ people (essentially turning them into mindless servile husks with all of their head above the nose cut off, somehow), a masked cop from the Milvayne Authority who’s gone rogue to do the right thing and hunt him down against orders, a death cult, a bunch of different religious sects, a translation droid who has befriended a group of local orphans and shares his credits with them so they can eat and he’s SAVING UP FOR A PROCESSOR UPGRADE SO HE CAN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF SPIRITUALITY ;_____; what the fuck I want a tv-series about this droid IMMEDIATELY 

- this book shows you just how crucial K-2 is as an asset and what a masterstroke cassian’s reprogramming of him is... and it says some very, very sweet things about cassian as a person under all the trauma and spy stuff that he essentially treats him as his best friend instead of a tool. cASSIAN he deserved to survive and have SO much therapy ;_____; ah well at least we’re getting a prequel series about him right? pls be good

- oh cassian was a proper separatist during the clone wars! he probably has some very interesting points of view about the republic pre- and post empire huh (this is what I love about the clone wars era; they have built SUCH a believable and interesting political world here, all shades of grey. there were separatists with very valid points even thought they were lead by a guy named COUNT DOOKU played by CHRISTOPHER LEE, the first sign that you should look inwards and ask yourself... wait are we the bad guys)

- it’s so much more understandable to me now who in the rebel leadership is for following jyn’s plan and who is not. (namely: the ministers of finance and industry are both Not Into challenging the empire directly, kind of understandably)

in depth description of weapons technology... I sleep. deep dives into the political structure of the alliance leadership and their backgrounds and motivations? I have never been happier

(this. sort of should have been in the actual movie tho things would have made more sense)

- BAIL ORGANA Leia’s actual dad out there lookin’ fiiine, being righteous and good, almost making me forget he’s going to die SO SOON oh fuck :( 

- orson krennic is, presumably straight faced, described as ‘a cruel but brilliant man’ which is PATENTLY LUDICROUS because krennic is by literally every indication a fucking idiot, he needs galen to do all the real work for him, he mouths off to DARTH VADER and then tarkin just effortlessly swoops in and fucks him over in the end, easily outmaneuvering him... orson krennic is a fucking loser I don’t care if he’s the one who introduced brutalist architecture to coruscant

lol lol lol *arrow pointing towards krennic’s head* ‘Keen mind dissects architectural puzzles and conspiratorial plots’ okay I see what happened here orson krennic wrote this book 

- oh galen erso is kind of one of the most interesting and heartbreaking characters in all of star wars. (and I do not say this just because of mads mikkelsen’s cheek bones) he’s incredibly intelligent but from a really poor family and wanted to eliminate the difference between rich and poor and invent a new form of infinitely renewable energy... and technically he did achieve that, except his old college buddy orson krennic immediately found a way to use his technology for genocide and he didn’t realize until it was too late :’) there is something so comforting in the fact that in the end galen still got the last laugh in the most epic but unsung way. he’s the sort of quiet Magnificent Bastard who doesn’t even care he’ll never get the credit as long as it worked. u did good on that one jyn

also several of the scientists galen is leading on eadu are in the same category as him -- captured and forced to work for the empire. so that’s great and not at all upsetting 

- galen and lyra’s falling in love story is kind of sweet (though naturally it pales against baze and chirrut’s whole deal but then who could compare) and the sheer effort and detail that’s gone into building the farmstead in the beginning we end up seeing for 5 minutes... dude (it feels very convincingly like somewhere a family would live though) 

- *sees that ‘databook’ is a concept that exists apparently; groans in fic research I thought ‘holodisc’ might do the job but maybe this is a better fit*

- I will say that my largest gripe with this movie is how glaringly unnecessarily male it is. there’s literally no reason for most of the rebels and ESPECIALLY all of the scientists to be male but here we are. 

well the stormtroopers could all canonically be any gender behind the armor so uh that’s. something lol

- despite being all desert-y jedha is apparently quite cool! temperature-wise I mean though the huge ancient statues lying everywhere are pretty awesome too

- wow stormtrooper armor really does just suck huh. it’s like ‘well it might protect you from a blaster bolt if you stand upwind and angle yourself just right, who knows’. I guess this is why everyone and their grandmothers are drooling over mando’s beskar lol

- star wars’ insistence on sticking to single-biome planets is so silly and I love it. stick to that incomprehensible world building decision lucasfilm I respect you

- mon mothma! basically the most important character in the star wars universe who most people won’t know about lol she’s like the anti-palps. for the most part she is one of the most Big Goods in all of star wars (along with bail) but also she’s played by the actress who voices moira in overwatch so I do instinctively distrust her whenever I hear her talk haha. called palpatine a ‘lying executioner’ to his face which is both admirably bold and remarkably restrained, considering all the things palpatine is.

- oof the two people mentioned the most on anakin/vader’s pages are palpatine and obi wan. that’s. hurtful and bad and awful. the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making me watch ‘clone wars’ because watching ‘clone wars’ actually made me care about anakin skywalker :(

-ah shit this is a lot of pages about pasty empire dudes i’ll uh come back to these lol

[rutilation]

You hear that subtle creaking noise?  That is the sound of the Sword of Damocles, its single thread fraying as it prepares to come crashing down on Gormie’s head.  Poor kid’s going to incur Ichikawa’s wrath if they keep tempting fate like this.  

One minute you’re having the time of your life visiting moon-disneyland while trashing your ex, but before you know it your author is going to dump some nasty plot twist on you like: “Actually, Aechmea was lying about your eyes,” “Actually, you’re just Ghost’s split-personality,” “Actually, Aechmea is using you as a science experiment.”  (in case you couldn’t tell, I’m dreading eagerly anticipating the payoff to all this buildup.)

So to start off, Aechmea was being quite ominous this chapter, and everything that came out of his mouth seemed like it had a double meaning that we poor readers don’t have enough information to decipher yet.  This line also seemed like a veiled way of suggesting that he has ulterior motives regarding Cairn beyond simply acquiring a trophy wife.

I’ve been thinking for a long time that whatever extenuating circumstances are keeping Kongou from praying must be pretty dire, because otherwise he has no reason to keep this carousel of misery going.  Every piece of humanity is suffering because of his inaction, and I don’t think he’d abide by that if there wasn’t something grave stopping him from taking action.  I also think it’s likely that Aechmea knows what this reason is, and is keeping that information from the gems.  So, now that Phos has cooled their head enough that they’re willing to try and talk things out, is Aechmea going to do something about that?  Do his cryptic words from this chapter allude to this?  Hmmmm…

Anyway, on to Phos.

What a good rock.

It’s good that Phos is more cognizant of the impact they have on others and that they’re trying to be less callous.  Keeping Alex from going through with that idea was definitely the right decision.  At the same time, I don’t think the answer to the conundrum of getting other people caught up in your problems is to take the weight of the world onto your shoulders and try to do everything by yourself. That’s essentially what Kongou has been doing the whole story, and look how that turned out.  Furthermore, one important aspect of Phos early in their character arc was how the other characters’ unwillingness to let Phos take responsibility for their own mistakes really ate away at their self-esteem.  The narrative seems to posit that taking away the consequences of someone’s actions and the responsibility of making decisions is tantamount to depriving another of their full personhood, even when the desire to do so comes from a place of compassion.

On a related note, I’ve noticed that both of the important people in Phos’s life are in a rather precarious position thanks to Phos’s actions, and additionally, nothing Phos does going forward is going to bail them out of it.  They both stand to gain something in the short term if Phos keeps failing at their task of getting Kongou to pray.  Cinnabar’s newfound acceptance is contingent on Phos trying (and failing) to assault Kongou.  The longer that keeps up, the longer they’ll be accepted by the other gems; Phos’s success would end that in an instant.  However, even if this were to become the new status quo, it wouldn’t make Cinnabar happy in the long run.  After all, one of the very first things we learn about them is that they hate fighting.  So once the novelty of their peers’ acceptance begins to wear off, they’re going to find themselves dissatisfied. 

Similarly, Cairn also stands to benefit in the short term if Phos keeps failing.  The longer Kongou doesn’t pray for the Lunarians, the more time they have with Aechmea.  But as chapter 71 showed, he’s the controlling type, which is pretty antithetical to Cairn’s desire to find freedom.  Aechmea’s behavior is probably just going to get worse and worse once the honeymoon-phase of the relationship is over, at which point Cairn’s life is going to be hell for every moment that Aechmea continues to stink up the mortal plane with his existence.

Before Phos got their grubby little paws on Cinnabar and Cairngorm, neither of them were living happy lives.  But they also didn’t hope for anything better, and were more or less resigned to their respective fates.  But now that they’ve ridden the wave of Phos’s change, both of them now have something to lose.  Whether Phos succeeds or fails in their quest, it seems to me that the two of them are going to have to save themselves if they don’t want to get badly burned (or worse) by the end of this debacle.

In this interview, Ichikawa alluded to the conundrum of whether or not it’s possible to save someone from themselves, and the way she talked about it makes it seem like a central conceit of the text.  Not to be totally predictable by referencing Utena once again in my essays, but that theme is one of the central conflicts in Utena as well.  The answer that series comes to is that people can really only save themselves, and that the most the people around them can do is give that person the tools and opportunity to do so.  It also posits that trying to do otherwise creates a toxic relationship wherein the savior has ultimate power over the one being saved, thus tainting the altruism that might have inspired one to save another in the first place.  I wonder if HnK will come to a similar conclusion.

Going back to Cinnabar for a minute, while I’m taking it as a given that the rest of the earth gems will drop them like a bad habit the second they stop being useful, I do have a bit of faith that Bort will stick up for them.  Let’s talk about Bort.

Unlike most of the other gems still on earth, Bort has grown since the start of the manga.  They can say that change is for weaklings all they want, but the Bort we were introduced to is quite different from Bort as we know them now.  Their establishing scene in the manga has them scoffing at the idea of helping someone who they saw as a burden, someone who’s unwilling to help themselves.  But whatever scorn they had towards Phos early in the manga—by their own logic—they would have had for Cinnabar twice over. Where Phos was merely useless, Cinnabar was an actual liability.  Where Phos was haphazard and lazy in their efforts, Cinnabar is almost pathologically passive and self-defeating.

But by the time they actually met Cinnabar, they had changed.  And nowadays, it seems they’re trying to act as the Shinsha Whisperer.  Because of a series of gradual changes catalyzed by Phos and Dia, they’ve come to realize that:

A.     People can have potential that isn’t immediately apparent

B.     They themselves can have a more enriching role in their society than that of a surly guard dog

Plenty of people have written about how Bort is more thoughtful and sensitive than they initially appeared to be, but it’s usually couched in terms of the reader pulling back the veil of gruffness to reveal sweet, jellyfish-loving soul underneath.  While I don’t think that’s inaccurate per se, the way I see it is that certain events in the story have nurtured their growth as a character, causing them to slowly become less of an asshole.  I find that to be a more fruitful framework to work with than simply: “We the readers didn’t understand Bort at first because of incomplete information and now we do.”

What I’m getting at is that since they were willing to set aside a bit of their pride and step outside of their comfort zone in order to change, I have more faith in them to do the right thing than the people surrounding them.  Most of the gems are polite, agreeable, charming, etc…but the way the outcasts of their society have been treated throughout the narrative speaks volumes, much more than a veil of civility ever could.  What other read am I supposed to get from chapter five?  Not to trash on two-thirds of the cast or anything, but I think most of these characters are just going along to get along, and aren’t terribly concerned about anything or anyone that doesn’t directly affect them.

Speaking of earth gems that I don’t trust:

Ichikawa keeps repeating the image of Euclase looming over Phos.  This is the third time now.

Anyway, Cairn is once again happening.  And, umm...

Hate to break it to you buddy, but I’m pretty sure the call’s coming from inside the house.  What episode of The Twilight Zone have we entered in which Cairngorm needs Ghost’s help in order to look disgusted with everything?

There’s not much I can say about Cairn in this chapter that I didn’t already say in my Cairn essay.  While it’s certainly upsetting to learn that they were suicidal while Phos was in a coma, it’s also not exactly shocking.  That said, I do have one additional observation.  This has been on my mind for a while, but I’ve never really brought it up because it’s existed in the realm of subtext, and sometimes I am a timid little bean who doesn’t want to risk putting my foot in my mouth.

Cairngorm is pretty good at reading people, aren’t they?  In this scene in chapter 50 they seem to have a much stronger grasp on Kongou’s state of mind than Phos ever has, they can always tell when Phos is lying or otherwise putting up a front, and I’m fairly certain they’re basing their current affectation on what they have inferred that Aechmea wants.  I bring this up because of this moment from the chapter:

While we the audience have the benefit of hindsight, tone, and framing to indicate that Aechmea is up to something duplicitous in this scene, Cairn doesn’t.  But they still immediately pick up on the fact that he’s being shady.  They phrase this observation as if it’s a joke rather than a source of genuine unease, but the fact that the composition of the page lingers on this line is rather telling, leading me to think Cairn is trying to laugh off something that is in actuality causing them anxiety.

The only other thing that caught my attention is that Cairn called Aechmea by his name.  I guess whatever reason he has for not liking his name, it’s not because he considers it an insult?

Finally, just as a reminder, I’ve started cross-posting my essays to ao3 in case tumblr dies or whatever.  So, if that does happen, you can find me there.

[moczothe1st]

Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 15: The Kids are All Right

Part 14

Welcome back to Fire Emblem IV.  When we last met, you may recall the entire world went to shit.  Before we get into too much of anything, let’s see the aftermath play out. 

SPOILERS AHEAD, SERIOUSLY READ PART 14 FIRST.

Just as he had planned, this left Arvis as the sole ruling power of the kingdom.

and so Arvis unified all Jugdral under Grannvale’s rule. With overwhelming support from his subjects, Arvis thus became the first Emperor of the Grannvale Empire.

Seventeen years have passed since the battle of Belhalla.

Now struggle under his oppressive, dictatorial rule. Across Jugdral, in the other realms now dominated by Grannvale, their people have been reduced to living as little more than slaves to the Empire’s whims.

(Oh hey look, the evil alliance with the priests of the Dark Lord didn’t produce that utopia after all.  How weird.)  

Just like his late father, Duke Langbalt.  While he lives an indulgent life at the Rivough palace, the people are treated as little more than slave labor.

(And they’re handsome, so they aren’t pure evil. They are, however, pretty awful as we’ll be seeing. Also a pair of total morons, but that’s nothing new.)  

Under their rule, Isaach knows no freedom. However, one last hope remains for Isaach.  Tirnanog, an isolated village in the kingdom’s far north…

(Damn, Shanan grew up to be a black-haired Sephiroth!)

whose strength grows with each passing day. Among these proud, young warriors is a young man, dubbed “The Scion of Light” by the people of Isaach and revered as the rightful prince of the Grannvale Empire.  

Danaan: Shanan and his rebel ilk are growing stronger by the day, and now they hamper us at every turn! And as if that weren’t enough, they harbor the spawn of Sigurd the Traitor! The very existence of this scum utterly defiles my authority over the Isaachian throne! How do you expect me to explain this sorry state to His Imperial Majesty?!

Harold: A thousand apologies, your highness, but everything is already under control.  The rebel hideout has been found, and even as we speak an army is on its way to crush them. Those vile rats have nowhere else to run! By sundown, not a single rebel will still be breathing.

Danaan: Hm. Very well. But be warned, Harold. Don’t even think of underestimating them. Most of the rebels are too young to pose a threat, but they still have Oifey and Shanan.  Those two alone are extremely dangerous. Dismissing them would be a fatal mistake .

(And I bet that is a sentence you never expected to hear during the first generation.)

Harold: Yes, sir, I’m aware. But I’ve already had Tirnanog, the rebel hideout, surveyed in secret, and neither are anywhere in sight. It’s safe to assume them currently absent, sir.

Danaan: WHAT?! Then why are we still talking about this?! Send the order to move in immediately! The people of Isaach are treating these rebels like some kind of heroes of freedom… but it’s time they learned the error of their ways! Kill them! All of them! I’ll be returning to Rivough. I expect nothing but good news!

Beautiful Man #452: A brigade’s set out from Geneishire and they seem to be headed our way.

(Gee, I wonder whose daughter she is.)

Ayra 2.0: Let them come, I say! It only makes the battle easier for us! It’ll be simple to just walk right over to Ganeishire and pick them off as we go!

Ulster: You’ve gotta be kidding! Prince Shanan’s still off trying to find the Yied Shrine, and Oifey and the others aren’t back yet. It’s just us two against an entire army! Surely, even you can’t think this’ll end well!

Ayra 2, The Astra Continues: I don’t care! You can sit here and be scared witless if you want, but I’m not letting a chance like this pass! The prince still treats us like helpless children, but come one! We’ve had more than enough training! We’re ready for real action!

Ulster: But…

The Aympire Strikes Back: I’m… I’m NOT gonna run away anymore! I’m sick to death of sitting here while those monsters butcher our friends! Or worse… the empire’s thugs are still out there, snagging every girl they see… If Prince Shanan hadn’t come for me that day, I’d be just another one of them. Dead, or wishing I was… I won’t forgive or forget their pain!

Ulster: No, that’s not it, Larcei… You’re right, it’s horrible, but…

Seliph: Most likely, I assume Shanan would have given you strict orders to keep me safe. After all, if he hadn’t, you’d already be out there in the fray! To not be thirsting for a good fight just isn’t the Ulster I know.

Larcei: Oh… that’s… that’s right. Sorry, sir. I was hoping we didn’t have to involve you…

Seliph: I’m no child anymore either, Larcei. If you two plan to fight, I plan to fight by your side. There’s more at stake today than only the resistance. What of Tirnanog? We owe so much to its people. I refuse to abandon them at such a critical hour!

Ulster: But…

Seliph: We’ve no time to waste debating this! Lana, stay behind and help the citizens. We’ll engage the foe in the western gully.

Lana: This is my fight too! You won’t convince me anymore than you could convince Larcei! Every day I think the Empire can’t get any more cruel, and every day I’m proven wrong. They prey on the weak and vulnerable as if snuffing out their lives is a game to them… I can’t sit quietly and accept it! I may not be able to fight, but I’ve my own way of defending everyone!

Seliph: Hm… my apologies, Lana.  You are absolutely right: the battle for Isaach’s freedom rests upon all of us. Very well, we shall all go together! How this will turn out, I cannot say…

(Well, it can’t go worse than when your father tried it with his three buddies. … Not a challenge, game.)

Seliph: But we owe it to all of Isaach to give this battle no less than our best.

Lana: Yes, Milord! And, er…. Sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken so brashly.  

Seliph: Ha!  You’ve nothing to apologize for. Now Ulster, Larcei, Lana… the time has come. Move out!

And here we go.

The game tries to trick you into thinking it’s called ‘Genealogy’ because of the importance of the Crusader’s bloodlines, but that’s only half the story.  This is also the first Fire Emblem game to feature a second generation, determined by the Lover bonds you made between the units in your first generation. It’s a revolutionary mechanic that would later be picked up on by modern ultra-popular games Awakening and Fates, and…

God, it’s so badly done. It really is.  

The thing is, the game never tells you the second-generation inheritance mechanics exist, or how they work. It never even tells you how to get two first-generation units to hook up, though that’s easy enough to work out (‘Have them stand next to each other a lot’). The only hints you get are from villages in the battle of Belhalla map, by which point it’s already far too late to really fine-tune anything.  Basically it’s a situation where you either already know what you want to do going into the game (like me) or you get screwed (like me during my first playthrough when I was playing blind).  

And the thing is, this is important.  It’s not a minor detail, it affects your entire army for the whole second half of the game.  Marry off the wrong people, or god forbid don’t marry anyone at all, and you can end up hamstringing yourself pretty severely.  The general mechanics are as follows:

1)     Every female character in the army will have two children if they have been paired up with a male character.  The only automatic pairings are Sigurd/Deirdre and Quan/Ethlyn.  They will have one male child and one female child. The characters are determined by mother only; Ayra will always have Larcei and Ulster no matter who she marries, for example. The father will affect their stats and abilities as listed below.  

2)     Children will inherit a small boost to their starting stats, based on their parents’ final stats at the end of chapter five.  

3)     The children will have the same growth rates as their same-gendered parent, boosted by +50% of their opposite gendered parents growth rates.  They also inherit Holy Blood; if one of the parents has Major Blood, then the child of their gender will get that while the opposite-gendered child gets Minor.  For example, Seliph has Sigurd’s Major Baldur Blood, but also inherits Minor Naga Blood from Deirdre.   Unfortunately, most of Deirdre’s growths are hot garbage so his physical growths aren’t much better than Sigurd’s, but he does get a fairly impressive 30% Resistance growth thanks to her, so he’ll end up a much better mage-killer than his dad, and thanks to his combination of Holy Bloods he gets a 140% HP growth rate. This means he’s guaranteed to gain health every level, and has a 40% chance to gain two HP instead of one.    

4)     Children will inherit any items they can use from the inventory of their same-gendered parents. For example: Larcei and Ulster are Ayra and Jamke’s kids.  Larcei inherits Ayra’s gear, and since she can use anything Ayra can, she gets it all. Ulster, by contrast, doesn’t inherit any weapons because he can’t use Jamke’s bows, but he does inherit the two rings that Jamke was wearing, the Renewal Band and the Leg Ring. Items that could not be inherited will show up later, either in the shops or as droppable items off enemy soldiers. (Seliph does not inherit Tyrfing, because of story reasons, but he does inherit all of Sigurd’s other gear. Somehow).  They also inherit a portion of their parents’ combined gold supplies.

5)     Children will inherit the combined skills of both parents.  This is where it starts to get ridiculous, because some of those abilities you probably remember as absurd gamebreakers: Both of Ayra’s kids here inherit her already bonkers skillset of Pursuit, Nihil, and Astra, but they also pick up Adept and Accost from Jamke.  This means they have three different ways to double-attack and any one of them can also proc Astra, turning them into basically living chainsaws. The one caveat to remember is that for some reason, Astra, Sol, and Luna can only be inherited by non-mounted characters who use swords.  No, the game won’t tell you ahead of time which characters have such children. Why do you ask?  

Fun, right? And of course, if a female character doesn’t get married or dies before Chapter 5, then instead of her children you get a pair of substitute characters who will be the same (or very similar) class, but have much different skills, abilities, and stats… most typically ones that are markedly inferior. Though admittedly not always (In particular, a lot of veteran players will tell you the replacement children for Sylvia are better than her actual kids, no matter who their dad is. But I swore I would get them all and I keep my goddamn promises). The much bigger problem with them is that they don’t inherit the items. This is just an inconvenience in most cases, since as mentioned above those items will reappear… but in the case of the Holy Weapons, they’re gone forever since the bloodline that could use them has died out.  If Bridget doesn’t get married? Yewfelle is really no-take-backsies lost forever.  Same with Lewyn’s Forseti and Claude’s Valkyrie.  And to make matters worse, those two idiots have to marry someone who has a son that uses the right weapon type, and the game never tells you who that might be.  Lewyn gets off easy: The game pushes him at both Erin and Sylvia, each of whom will have a kid that can use Forseti (though Sylvia… makes it very complicated on you). But Claude… the game pushes him at Taillte when he first joins, and while her son will inherit Claude’s Holy Blood he cannot. Use. Staves.  

FUN, RIGHT?!  

*sigh*

Well.  Now that that’s done, let’s take a look at what we’ve actually got to work with for this map.  

Meet Seliph, our new Lord. He’s not bad, though he won’t be his dad’s equal for awhile; the Silver Sword is only a few kills away from being upgraded to gain the Critical skill, which will help him out a lot.  I also… discretely ensured Sigurd had the Paragon Band, so he’ll level up quickly to make up for the fact he’s generally our weakest fighter right now.  Unfortunately, he gets hurt a little in his base stats because Deirdre’s aren’t typically great except for Magic and Resistance, and Sigurd’s are so awful that Seliph will always start out low on them regardless.  For Holy Blood he has Major Baldur and Minor Naga, giving him an impressive total of +50% to HP growth, and +20% each to Strength, Magic, Skill, Luck, and Resistance. So he may start slow, but unless we get really unlucky he’ll pick up fast.

Larcei and Ulster get combined into one entry since barring the fact Larcei has more Skill and Ulster has more luck, they’re identical at the moment. Which is to say amazing. Five very good skills, solid physical stats across the board, and Minor Odo Blood (+20%HP, +30% Skill). The only real reason Larcei is better at the moment is that she inherited her mom’s swords.  These two could clear the map by themselves.

And finally, Lana, Aideen and Midir’s daughter. She’s one of the kids who is almost impossible to screw up; Aideen by herself has perfectly good stats and growths for a Priest, so anyone she marries will just be icing on Lana’s perfectly good healer cake.  In her case, Aideen’s phenomenal growth in Part 1 means she starts off with unusually good base stats for a level one healer, and she already has access to several great staves (though that Physic staff will need repaired soon, dammit I should have done that last chapter).  She inherited Pursuit and Accost as skills from Midir, but she won’t be able to use them until she promotes and can fight; when she does, she’ll be even better in combat than her mom was. And of course, she’s still got Mom’s Minor Ullur Blood for +20% HP and +30% luck growths… and for skill in the bows that she still will never be able to use.

Now then… TO WAR!

….

Oh, there’s no enemy units in range.  

Now then… TO MOVE INTO THE MOVEMENT RANGE OF WAR!

End turn.

Not to give you an inferiority complex, bro, but your dad would have killed that guy in his first map.  Though, in point of fact, this isn’t so bad; he has the Paragon band, he doesn’t really need kills to get experience yet. It’s better to use him as a decoy for now and let Ulster and Larcei mop up after him.

Like so. This strategy in mind, I move Seliph forward as far as he can manage, into the range of a few other units, and leave the others hanging slightly back.  Nobody has been damaged yet, so Lana sits there looking cute. End turn!

Dammit, one was close enough to go for Larcei. I should have checked before I moved her. Ah well, plenty to go around, we’re outnumbered like twenty-five to four.  

Ooooh, make that twenty-five to seven. Three new dudes pop in when our turn starts, and they have horses!

Blue Hair #76: I hope everyone’s doing all right…

Blondie: What if Lana’s gone and gotten herself mixed up in the fighting? She can’t defend herself at all if she’s out in the open like this?

(“GEE, THANKS FOR ASSUAGING MY FEARS, YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.”)

Blondie: Sir, we should hurry back. The sooner we get back to Lord Seliph’s side, the better.  

Porn Stache: Indeed. Come, Dermott! Lester! The battlefield awaits us!

Well then. Let’s take a look at our new arrivals.  First we have…

That’s right, it’s Oifey! Our little tactician dude from part one has grown up into a pre-promote with a fantastic moustache for part two. And he is, in fact, not terrible. His stats are perfectly fine and he comes with two good skills, Critical and Pursuit. He comes in at level 15 while the rest of the army is at level 1, however, which is the game’s subtle way of telling you to only use him for emergencies; he will get virtually no experience for killing anything in the first few chapters.  Oifey is what FE vets call the ‘Jeigan Archetype’, a promoted overlevelled unit the game hands you as a method of ensuring your newbies don’t get wiped out, but if you rely on them too much those newbies will never get to grow up and be killing machines of their own someday. Unlike many of those, Oifey has fine starting stats and passable growths, and can be useful the whole game if you get lucky (though most of the kids will outclass him eventually), but you should still try not to let him kill anything for at least three more chapters, when enemies his level start showing up.

And yes, he has Minor Baldur Blood. It’s easy to forget, but waaaaaaaay back it was mentioned that he’s actually Sigurd’s distant cousin.  

Dermott is a little harder to work out than others, but by looking at his items, skills (Notably, he has Charm, which only one parent can pass down) and Holy Blood (Minor Hezul) we can spot quickly enough he’s the son of Lachesis and Beowulf.  He takes after his mother in one way, in that HIS NAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE DIARMUID, a reference to a hero from Celtic mythology, and it’s been mistranslated. But you know what fuck it I’m too tired, so he can stay Dermott. He’s a solid unit, much like his father… erm… eventually turned out to be, with Pursuit and Accost for offense and Charm to make units near him stronger just by being in his shining golden presence.  The combination of his class and Holy Blood allow him to use any non-Holy sword right off the bat as well, so his offensive options are considerable; even if you choose to do something like marry Lachesis to a mage, he can end up a great choice to use magic swords. But given that Minor Hezul blood is a +20% to HP and +30% to Strength growths, it’s really best to stick with a good honest ass-kicker for his dad.  

And finally, Aideen and Midir’s other child, Lester. Now, remember when I said Lana was almost impossible to screw up? Lester is almost impossible to not screw up.  Aideen’s physical growths are non-existent and he can only use bows as weapons, so if you want him to be inheriting anything of value and have half-decent stats, he needs to be fathered by either Jamke or Midir.  Jamke is the better choice in terms of stats, but the rub lies in the fact that for no obvious reason, Jamke won’t pass down Pursuit to his children despite having it himself.  I assume this to be a bug, but who knows.  Of course, if you don’t care about bows there’s always people like Lex or Holyn who can give him better combat stats… but you saw Midir in the Arena. Archers need a good bow to live. Half the reason Jamke rocks so hard is that he comes with arguably the best non-Holy bow in the game.  So enjoy that Brave Bow, Lester, if we get unlucky leveling you up then it will be your salvation.  

All right. None of our newbies can join in the combat this turn, but they’re all mounted so that will change soon enough. For now, let’s focus on continuing our strategy.  Seliph sets them up…

The twins knock them down.

And to finish things up, Lester goes to have a chat with his sister.

Lester: Why am I not surprised… look, I know I can’t get you to leave, but be careful, okay? It’d break Mother’s heart if something happened to you out here?

(Yes, Aideen is alive, and no, she won’t be helping us out. It’s more common than you’d expect; a solid number of the first generation survived Belhalla only to be too wounded to fight again or to just die later anyway. Mostly the ladies. All these children had to come from somewhere, after all.)

Lana: I know, but actually there was something Mother told me… she said we owe the greatest of debts to the people of Isaach, and if we can help them in any way, we owe it to them to do all we can.

Lester: Yeah, I guess she’s right. I mean, we wouldn’t even be here now if not for the help of the locals… so, er, where is Mother anyway?

Lana: She’s back in Tirnanog’s abbey, working like always.

Lester: Right… Listen, Lana. We’ve got to give this battle our all, both in Mother’s name and in the name of our lost father. Someday, I know, we’ll finally be able to help Mother return to her home, Jungby…

Lana: You’re right, Lester.  

And that’s the slightly anticlimactic end of that conversation; Lana gets a free point of Luck from it for… some… reason.  End turn; no enemies are close enough to hit us, so after they move it goes right back to our gang of misfits.  First, Oifey has words for young Seliph…

(“The… entire world, sire? I was only gone for like an hour.”)

Oifey: The Empire’s grip is tightening still further, as if trying to choke life from the people.  It’s inciting doomed revolts all across Jugdral.  

Seliph: So it’s as I thought… it isn’t as if the Empire’s tyranny would ever be limited to only Isaach… Oifey, is it feasible to assist them?

Oifey: Not as we presently stand, sire. We still lack the strength to properly challenge the Empire.

(“Among other issues, we somehow managed to get you all of your father’s belongings except his invincible super-sword. My apologies, sire.”)

Seliph: Then what of our present battle?  The war for Isaach’s freedom has already begun. Turning back now would be impossible.

Oifey: Hm. There’s certainly no chance of returning you to hiding now that your whereabouts have been leaked, sire.  Starting the fight now was reckless, but we’ve no choice but to continue.

Seliph: Oifey, I’m sorry I let all of this happen behind your back, but we had no choice. Even so, I don’t think I could have stood letting Isaach suffer under Dannan’s thumb any longer. I trust you understand, Oifey.

Oifey: I do, sire. Now, our priority is to lay siege to Dannan’s capital, Rivough, with all haste. Dannan must fall before the Empire can send him reinforcements. We cannot afford to wait!

Seliph doesn’t get a stat boost, because I guess he’s not as cool as Lana.  It’s okay, though, he can still do another cool thing:

Softening up enemies! And our first awesome level of the second generation goes to Lord Seliph. Most marvelously done, sire.  Peons! Attend Lord Seliph!

Marvelously done, peons!  I am so pleased I shall not even force you to lay down on the floor and be a carpet for Lord Seliph to walk upon, that he may not dirty his boots.  

The turn ends here, because we have nobody else to move. I’m a bit worried that one of the enemies can reach Lana, but I’m not sure so…. Let’s hope?  

Oh goodie, the second wave is approaching. But seriously, about Lana…

… Huh. I mean, hey, Lester, if you wanna be like your dad and suck in the arena while being unreasonably lucky everywhere else, more power to ya.

And after that, the enemy is apparently just super uncool with Larcei. Unfortunately for them, Larcei is pretty cool with dodging and very cool with murder.  Our turn…

After taking out the trash, our two errant horsemen start moving east, toward Ganeishire, while Seliph goes to stand enticingly in the range of the last enemy. Ulster also finally gets to take a break from stabbing stuff to chat with his sister, since for once there’s nothing nearby for him.  

Ulster: Just be careful out here, okay? Your usual brazen antics’ll only get you in trouble now.  

Larcei: I know, I know, I know! What, do you think I’m still a child?!

Ulster: Heh, man that iron will of yours! I guess you’re just like Mom was, if what Prince Shanan’s told us is true.

Larcei: Yeah… Ayra… I can’t remember a thing about her. You?

Ulster: No, of course not.  We’re twins, remember? If you were too young to remember, then so was I. We weren’t even two years old back then… it was Oifey who took us with him when he fled to Isaach with Seliph. We waited and waited, but Mom never followed… I guess she didn’t make it out of the Battle of Belhalla alive.  

Larcei: Ulster! You swore you’d never say things like that! Mom is alive! ALIVE! I’m sure of it! Don’t you dare say otherwise ever again!

(*cough* I’m actually pretty sure she isn’t. Which really just makes this sad, so… sorry.)

Ulster: Er… sorry, Larcei. You’re right… I’m sorry…

Larcei gets +1 to Luck from this conversation too, because anger makes you stronger? End turn.

Man, nobody wants to fight Seliph.  Do these peasants believe themselves too good to take blades to milord?!  HOW DARE THEY.  

Not much to do from here but move east; two turns of that puts us into combat range of the enemy’s second wave of troops. Ulster, if you’d do the honors of waiting just within their range? End turn.  

Good man.

… Oops, misjudged the distance. Well, Lana will be happy, she finally gets to do some real healing instead of just kissing boo-boos. Now for our turn….

And our first crappy level of the second generation goes to Lester! Good job, Lester. You’re really honoring that lack of confidence I had in you. End turn.

…. Did he… did he just kill himself out of spite?

Leave Larcei alone, jeez. I know she’s awesome, but come on, there have to be better ways to die.  

And our turn begins with the sight of a bandit suddenly appearing out of nowhere moving up to a village behind the enemy’s castle, because didn’t we all miss that. Ulster’s got the leg ring and Dermott has a horse, so I send them out ahead to try and get there before too much gets burn. Seliph kills an archer, and gets his second level.

As a western gamer I’m told I’m supposed to love Big Awesome Superman Sigurd more than Beautiful Man-boy Seliph, but if he keeps getting levels like these I may have to reconsider that.

Lana also gets her first level from healing, which while not quite as absurd, does give her Defense. That’s her weakest point, so I can’t be too angry.  A few turns of movement follows, until Ulster finally reaches the village and clears it.

Way to get hit on a 25% chance, dumbass. But at least you killed the enemy, so… ‘good job’.  The rest of the team, having nothing better to do, starts attacking the castle defenders.

We’re making pretty good time! Gaineshire should fall quickly from here.  I move Dermott over to stand next to another defender, hoping it will be softened up from here.  And since Oifey has the least money, he takes the first village.

Info Master: The younger two serve him here in Isaach. Johan controls Isaach Castle, while Johalvier controls Sophara Castle. They’re both kind of odd, and they’ve both got this obsession with someone in your army called Larcei.  Always squabbling, they are… I dunno, though. Neither of them are all that bad, really. Heck, I bet they’d want to join forces with you!

FORESHADOWING.  

End turn.

That’s what I like to see. Hard workers. Our turn clears out the final defenders…

And hell, let’s take a risk and let our up and coming young rock star of a lord take first crack at the boss.

(“I mean, yes, they have killed all of my men, and it’s only been like an hour, but…”)                

Ah, yes. Did you miss Pavise? I did.  And on his own turn, he actually connects, taking Seliph’s health down to the danger zone. But also gaining him a new level!

I will never say no to more defense. Lana burns a charge of her Physic staff to heal him up, and I send Lester to swing up and take a shot from the side.

Seriously, fuck Pavise. Ulster, can you wrap this shit up?

Because they proc Astra, bitch.

… And they torment me with shit levels right after triumphing.  God, you people are turning out just like your parents. Dermott took a nasty hit fighting the defenders, so I send him down south to a cathedral to pay for healing since he’s not cool enough to earn Lana’s attentions.  And with that, time to seize our first castle of Gen 2.

(He said, a perfectly nice town and some lovely trees in the background.)

(… Yes, hello, Your Majesty. You weren’t helping us out becaaaaaaaaaaaaaause?)

Lewyn: Just Lewyn, Seliph… like I’ve always been. Silesse is just another Imperial conquest now…. That’s all it’s been since the mess in Belhalla. And meanwhile here I am, still living a pathetic, shameful life for all to see.

(Yeah that’s great. Look, pack up your magic books and get back in line, soldier, we have an Empire to sort out.)

Lewyn: At least my mother faced Silesse’s demise, and her own, with pride and dignity! But me? Nope! Still just an idiot bard… don’t listen to what Oifey says of me, Seliph. Please, don’t call me a king ever again.  

(Okay yeah but do you still have Forseti. I would really like some Forseti, please.)

Seliph: I… my apologies, Lewyn…

Lewyn: Heh, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. More importantly, looks like you’ve finally got this revolution thing started! There’s no place more fitting than Isaach to begin fighting back against the Empire.

Seliph: Indeed! The courage of Isaach’s people is matched only by the pain and anger they feel because of the Empire. All we’re missing now is for Prince Shanan to return and join the fray himself.

Lewyn: He ran off to follow some rumor, didn’t he?

Seliph: Mm. Rumor has it his birthright as heir to the Isaach throne, the holy sword Balmung, is being kept in a shrine in the Yied Desert.

(Oh god not that place again. So much sand…)

Seliph: As I understand it, the entire desert region is home to an evil priest. I trust Shanan’s might, but I cannot help but worry for his safety…

Lewyn: If anyone can do it, it’ll be Shanan. Actually, Seliph, I’ve a favor to ask of you.

(Bitch you can ask me for favors when you’re blasting my enemies with wind magic. JOIN THE ARMY.)

Seliph: Oh? If it is within my power, I’ll gladly help. What is it?

(Dammit Seliph you suck at negotiation. We have to play hardball with this guy!)

Lewyn: Since then I’ve been looking after her in a hidden little corner of Silesse, until we had to get out a while back as the Empire set about tightening its grip. The thing is, I’ve got things that need doing over in Leonster, and at this point she’s just slowing me down. I hate to impose, but I don’t have much of a choice. Could I leave her with your group for a while? I still don’t know what happened to her, but it must have been pretty awful. Poor thing. Back when I first found her, she couldn’t remember a thing about what happened.

(…. Yeah, dude, I don’t know if you remember it, but his father took in a mysterious waif once and it ended really bad.)

Lewyn: I still don’t know what happened to her, but it must have been pretty awful. Poor thing. Back when I first found her, she couldn’t remember a thing about what happened. It looks like she still can’t…

(Oh jeez, she has amnesia too. I’m getting some déjà vu here, and not in a good way. Yeah, gonna have to give this one a super hard no, so…)

Seliph: I see. Very well, you can trust me with her, Lewyn.

(God dammit, Seliph.)

Seliph: However, I must ask you return for her as soon as possible She won’t feel too comfortable in an army of strangers.

Lewyn: Deal. Heh, I’ll probably be back here by the time you’re finished freeing Isaach. Good luck, Seliph.

Seliph: May the gods be with you as well, Lewyn.

(Fuck off, Lewyn.)

Seliph: Until Lewyn returns, I swear I’ll let no harm come to you… I know I’ve much to learn, and I’m not yet all that strong. But one day… someday, I know I’ll be strong enough to protect us all! Someday, I’ll have the strength to defend all the world’s people from the Empire’s wrath! Someday I’ll be strong, just as my father once was…

(“Someday, I’ll be Hokage!”)

Julia: Seliph…

Well. She’s a sparkling conversationalist.  Now, normally I would cut things off here. But coming up next turn is one of the few choices the game has to offer, and I would actually like to let you guys vote on it, so we need to do one more scene.

Dannan: What in the blazes are my sons doing?! Someone, tell them to take the rebels down, right now!

Johan: But I could never lay a finger on Larcei, even if she is among my foes… ahh, what a dilemma standing before me…

So that’s Johan and Johalvier.  They’re a pair of fucking idiots, but we can recruit one.  Yes, one. Whichever one Larcei talks to first will join your army; the other will have to die because they are, again, fucking idiots.  But hey, since I’m a kindly sort, I’ll allow you the choice of which one we recruit. The gist of them:

Johalvier:

Growths: HP – 110%, Str – 40%, Mag – 0%, Skl – 50%, Spd – 10%, Luck – 10%, Def – 60% Res – 5%

 Johan:

Growths: HP – 110%, Str – 40%, Mag – 0%, Skl – 20%, Spd – 50%, Luck – 10%, Def – 60% Res – 5%

(P.S. Both have Minor Neir Blood; the bonuses from it are included in their listed growth rates.)  

 As you can see, it’s not a huge difference. Both uses axes as weapons; Johan will always use only axes, while Johalvier can learn to use bows after he promotes.  Each only has one (at least pretty good) ability, and their growths are mostly identical; about the only thing worth noting is that Johan’s speed growth is significantly better, probably to make up for the fact his starting speed is four points lower. Johalvier in general starts off with better base stats, in fact, but that’s made up for somewhat by the fact that Johan has a horse and he doesn’t.  

Really, tl;dr, neither of them is appreciably better than the other in gameplay terms, unless you’re doing a speed run.  So, let me know if you have an opinion on which one to grab, and if there’s a clear winner I’ll pick him up next week.  See ya then!  

Part 16

[officialthiamlibrary]

Welcome to another profile on Behind the Screens, giving you personal insight on who your favorite creators are and what they do when they aren’t wowing you with their creative ability.

On this profile, we’ll learn more about Tagan, also known in our pack as ThiamFresh or CaptainMintyFresh. The author of Airplanes, Sweet Talking, and a plethora of other Thiam prompts and stories, Tagan shares bits about her life, her writing process, her ideal road trip buddy, and her tips for creating tension-filled relationships.

Hi, Tagan! Let’s start off simple. Using a sentence, where the word count is either equal to or less than the number of letters in your two favorite Teen Wolf characters’ name, tell us about yourself. 

Theo Raeken + Derek Hale = 19: I’m Tagan. Love to write and act. I have a terrible sense of humour. Generally an accident prone mess. 

Talking about Teen Wolf characters, which five characters would be on your Ultimate Paintball/Laser Tag team and why? 

Theo, Malia, Allison, Liam, Stiles. Right, so I want Theo because like boy’s a master tactician/manipulator and he’s ruthless. Boy would 100% shoot 10 year olds to win and that’s the kind of person I want on my paintball team. Malia, again, she would have no qualms about just decimating the other team. Allison because she is an amazing shot; her role would be stealthing her way through the field to take people out/sniping everyone else while the ‘ground team’ does the closer stuff. Liam because he’s athletic and competitive. Stiles because he’s good at coming up with plans, plus...you know..he’d be really good bait for the other team.

Omg he would be! Now, before those characters blessed us with their existence, we found love and OTPs in other ones. What would you say were your first ships, way back in the day?

I’m not sure if this counts but Ant and Dec? I thought they were married but if not, then Monica and Chandler or Spike and Buffy. The first fanfiction I read was for Dramione.

And, how did you land in the Thiam Family? What about Theo x Liam drew you in?

I really liked their scenes in 6A (And some of the scenes in 5 but honestly, I hated five as a whole and watched it out of duty more than anything so I just didn’t have the enthusiasm to get into a ship.) Theo was the first bit of 6A that i actually really liked and a lot of that was just down to his sass and a lot of it was directed at Liam. And then the car key scene had me cackling with laughter. There scenes were just..fun in a way the rest of the season lacked, at least to me. So I was pretty invested in their whole dynamic and then there was ‘Being the bait’ and ‘do you know how to ride a horse’ and I was pretty sold. I went to search for Thiam content then but didn’t find any so just went back to writing the fics for other fandoms I was doing then and didn’t really mind.

But then 6B came out and the second I saw Theo on screen I was thinking “wow i can’t wait for him to see Liam and realised I was a bit more sold on them than I had planned to be and so I searched the tag again and went onto AO3 and read the few fics there but there really weren’t many. 

I’d gotten stuck on all the fics I was doing for other fandoms and so put up a request for prompts and Thiamkey gave me a bunch of headcanons and prompts and then people seemed to like them and started sending them in and then I just...talked to people and they were all lovely and we had all this amazing content coming out every week from the show and more people climbed aboard the ship. More fics being written, more prompts being sent.

Honestly, i just wanted to dip my toe in the water, write a fic or two while I waited for other people to write their own but then i suddenly found myself up to my neck in Thiam and not regretting a second of it.

Let’s jump into writing. Before we dive into the Thiam pool, if your writing process was a person, describe him or her. What does he or she do? Wear? Listen to?

My writing process as a person would probably be a toddler in a room full of toys but instead of playing with them, she just hiding under furniture and has five different conversations with five different imaginary friends at one time. She’s messy, with chocolate ice cream smeared over her face and her hair tangled into nots. She has no real idea about what’s happening but is excited none-the-less. Will have constant tantrums and cry then be excitedly squealing in the next second. ACDC would be playing in the background.

And your writing Kryptonite? How do you fight it?

Procrastination. I’m really bad at focusing on any one thing. Like, if i’m watching a new episode of a show, I’ll play solitaire in the corner of the screen because otherwise, I’m too unfocused to be focused. If that makes any sense. So when I’m writing I have to have a conversation open with someone or have just done a puzzle or something that’s fried my brain a bit so I can focus on writing, but I often end up getting too focused on the other thing and not getting any writing done.

As for how to fight it, I honestly have no idea? I just kinda flit around and hope for the best.

Well, clearly it works for you, so cheers! Do you write novels or short stories about original characters, as well? If so, can you share one you’re particularly passionate about?

Yes i dooo :) I write books. So I’ve written three so far and have like 12 in the works. (There’s a YA series in there which is why there’s so many) um..I’m not sure what i’m particularly proud of so i’m just pasting the first scene I found in my emails which is a scene from a zombie book I wrote called Autumn

Autumn Excerpt:

Sometimes I could forget, for a moment. When the sun was high in the sky and we were strolling through an open field. Weapons held loose in hand, rucksacks tossed over single shoulders. When we were throwing a bottle of water between us, talking about now pointless things, sharing stories and silly jokes. Laughs etched onto our faces as we'd forget all about it. About the past months and the horror we've seen, the people we've lost.

But then a stray would stumble into the field or we’d hear a distant scream and it would come rushing back. Hands quickly going back to locked tightly arrowed our weapons, smiles slipping from our faces.There were also times I couldn't forget, not even for a second. When we lay on rough roof tops, looking up at the dark sky willing to sleep, to get lost in a dream but I could hear it, the scratching of nails against brick, the snap of teeth hitting together and the low, guttural moans. At these times I’d think, this will be the last sound I ever hear. The huffing of the dead, the wet slapping and slurping as they tore and chewed on flesh.

On these nights I’d try to comfort myself, Say that that nightmare sound wouldn't be what I heard, I prayed for a gunshot, dreamed of that rather than the sounds bellow me. Because, these days, you go out one of two ways and a gunshot was everyone's silver lining.

When you mentioned YA series, my back straightened haha. What’s the title of your series? A synopsis for what it’d be about?

Oh god, so the longest one I have to find a new title to because it’s called Gifted and is about people with superpowers and now there’s that The Gifted show out about people with powers so that’s a bit awkward.

Me and my friend wrote a webseries when we were like 14/15 and although we only filmed a tiny bit of it, we actually had the whole thing planned out. Three seasons, 40 episodes and when we stopped working on it I was like “dude can i turn this into a book series?” and he was like “Yeah go ahead.” So I started writing a bit of it.

Gifted follows the story of three childhood friends as they get powers and deal with all the usual coming of age stuff while getting caught up with other people with powers. The first book will be done in alternating POV between the three friends, but that will slowly expand to incorporate the more important characters met along the way.

There’s lots of whump, teenagers dealing with depression and PTSD.  Basically i tried to write a new fairly light hearted story about kids coming of age and dealing with typical super power problems, but then accidentally put them through the ringer and turned it into a mass of character study and angst.

Final question before the barrage of Thiam questions lol. Characters often find themselves in situations they aren’t sure they can get themselves out of. When was the last time you were in a place like that and what did you do? 

The last time I found myself in a situation I couldn’t get out of was this summer and I cried a lot and then made scathing jokes to the reasons I couldn’t get out of the situation with a sunny smile that left the situations unaware that I was trying to figure out how to word a letter that told the situations they need never situate themselves anywhere near me ever again. (I have yet to send those letters.)

Wow, yeah, I’ve been there before. I hope you find the strength/courage to send those letters one day. Since we’re talking about personal experiences, would you say that any of your life has poured over into your Thiam writing?

The only one I can currently think of is the scene in Sweet Talking where Theo’s tired and listening to Liam, Mason and Corey hang out and thinking about how he’ll never really fit in.

My brother had a bunch of friends round before I wrote that chapter, or at least that part of that chapter. I moved away from my home town/all my friends (there’s literally 1 friend but whatever) 3 years ago and haven’t made any friends since. My brother keeps telling me his friends can be my friends but I‘m always the odd man out and it’s just really lonely so I was definitely channeling some inner loneliness into that.

Let’s say you could escape it all and venture on a major Airplanes-esque road trip. Who would you take (real or fictional)? Where would you go? And what is one shenanigan the two of you would run into?

The Queen. I just think it’d be really funny, not to mention you could get in like everywhere for free.

Honestly I think if the queen wasn’t available, I’d want to go with @thiamfanartlove. We’ve only been talking a little while, but we get on really well and I feel like we’d be equally ready to do a bunch of dumb stuff on our journey. I’d want to go around Europe. Hit up @thiamkey on the way and a few other people. 

We would 100% get into a fight at some point because neither of us have any chill. Like, someone would insult one of us and the other would just be down to fight and then it would turn into an all out brawl with us against the world. (We would lose, but it’d be a good story, at least.)

Truth. And one story we’d demand all the details on. You’ve talked a lot about some trivia, inspirations and spoilers for Airplanes in your livestream, which are linked here. So, my questions to you are more about the technique side of your writing, since it’s always amazing to learn from you all.  

You incorporate great character studies into your stories. What would you say are some tricks you use to portray what your characters are thinking?

I think, just finding a way to resonate with the character you’re writing. Even if it’s a character you think you have nothing in common with, I promise you somewhere there’s a memory you have that fits something they’ve felt. 

Liam’s POV was really weird to me at the start of airplanes so I chose to focus on something I could personally understand. Which was the need for freedom but anxiety at what it might cost the other people if you take it and that..kind of self hatred for the anger issues and wishing everything could change. You find a common thread and write that and soon enough you find yourself understanding the character, even in situations or with feelings you’ve never personally been affected by.

I don’t know if that makes any sense? But basically yeah, find common ground and that one scene you can write and then work from there.

And, the tension between your characters. How do you build that tension when it comes to relationships to avoid the instalove phenomenon?

ANGST! I dunno, the easiest way for me to slow down the instalove is the characters being more preoccupied with other stuff than their love lives. I think just..keeping it as real as possible. In my personal experience, love at first sight is rare. You can’t fall in love with someone until you know them so a lot of it is just..giving the characters these little moments that bring them closer together, making them have those conversations that you’d have with your best friend and just slowly drawing closer and closer together as you get more comfortable. Especially in Airplanes when it first starts Liam’s in a pretty bad place mentally. He’s really drained and feeling the weight of everything he’s been through so his mind was just so far away from romance that it seemed wrong to have him noticing any feelings for Theo until he was a bit happier and had healed a bit. Not to mention all the baggage the two have.

Having a character go through that process of questioning their sexuality is fun as well. I mean, Liam so far in canon has been written as straight and that’s a lot of fun to play with because you have that whole realisation process where he has to figure out that what he feels for Theo isn’t entirely platonic and that it’s different from how he feels about Mason or any of the other guys in the show and that can be a really challenging thing to do. Not even in the ‘Oh coming out is scary’ way just in the heteronormative straight until proven otherwise sort of way.

I mean i’m Bi and that took me like...21 years to realise? And it wasn’t that I didn’t have little crushes on girls before it was just I’d never noticed them for what they were. For me the only reason it clicked was because I realised I was Asexual and that my ‘well I don’t want to bone a girl so I’m not gay’ was kinda pointless thing when I realised that I didn’t even want to bone guys. It was just what was expected. Once I took that away and sat down and thought about it, it was suddenly very clear to me. But most characters won’t have that specific nudge so it can be a fairly long road.

Just, to stop instalove think about what they’re going through, think about how you fall in love because the realisation may be instant but the build up is usually gradual. You notice it in one dumb moment but to actually get there, you have a long list of bits where you get to know the other person and you deal with your own personal issues and stuff.

For building tension, it’s again just building up that relationship. You start off small with touches that make the heart speed up before they’re more comfortable and grow closer. Honestly, the best way is just to focus on the friendship first and the romantic relationship second because then you get the familiarity and that’s when you can start having your characters realise there’s something else there and that suddenly makes all these little touches a lot more terrifying and confusing as they try to figure out what it means. 

That’s perfect though. And the gritty realization that most people have about those they’ve fallen in love with since they’ve usually gotten close to that person by that point is terrifying and emotional, so I can now see where that tension comes from! Anything else you’d like to say, in general. The floor is all yours.

Umm okay. I am always accepting prompts but it willlllll take me a while to get to them because i have quite a few and don’t really go chronologically but more where the inspiration hits and sometimes, like with airplanes, that’s my own story rather than a prompt but my ask box is always always open for more prompts.

Upcoming works, I have no idea. Right now, I just want to finish airplanes and then see where I go after that. I do want to play around in the airplanes universe a little bit more after the fic is done with, delving into Theo’s POV for some of the missing scenes and I also might do a short pack scene where you have everyone realise Theo and Liam are gone in the morning in Idaho.

The reason I like sharing my work is because I like the idea that maybe I can help someone and maybe that sounds dumb--but to me--reading is a major escapism technique. I used it a lot when I was younger and this fic and the comments I’ve gotten have just made me so insanely happy because it seems like, maybe for a few people, I’ve reached my goal in helping someone through a bad day or to relax and just forget their worries for a while. And that’s the whole reason I like writing and that’s the first time I’ve ever really felt that and I literally cried when someone told me my updates helped their shitty week before because...that’s the whole reason I want to get into writing or acting as a career and to see I’d achieved that goal was just awesome.

If you’ve sent me a nice message on tumblr and I haven’t replied, it’s not because I didn’t read it or I don’t like it or whatever you might think. It’s because i’m a hoarder and now have a folder wth screen shots of all the nice messages in it, so that I can look at them when I’m having a nice day.

Really, I just want to say that I see everything you guys send or make or comment and I appreciate every single one and just thank you. Life’s been tough for me lately but getting to write for a fandom as accepting and kind as this one is really really amazing and your messages have picked me up when I’ve felt worthless so many times. Just keep being awesome Thiam fandom! And thank you for being so welcoming and supportive of everyone that joins.

Aww thank you! We’re so happy to have you in our fandom and to have Airplanes, your prompts, and other stories. I, and others have shared the same sentiment, agree with you that this fandom is amazing and so supportive of one another that it almost seems surreal! So, go us, lovely pack! 

To finish us off, what’s next for you? Both in life and in the writing world?

For life, I’m hoping to get some acting roles for student films and stuff. Get myself a laptop so I can write more and a camera (eventually) so I can film the scripts I’ve wrote. I also want to send some of my books to publishers and generally try to make a life for myself out of the two things I love doing.

I have a bunch of books I’m working on and I really want to finish writing my YA series because it seems like it could be quite fun once I get a bit more into it.

With that, BTS presents ThiamFresh to you! As always, you can keep the conversation going; respond to any of her thoughts, ask more questions, send a prompt, or simply swing by for a chat with Tagan anytime. To dive into her works, check out both her AO3 and Tumblr. 

Tumblr: thiamfresh

AO3: captainmintyfresh

Ask Box: thiamfresh ask

A huge thank you to Tagan for being so open to answering our questions and sharing her tips on character stories and building tension. 

Some great news, for everyone who enjoys this series, we’ve decided to run Behind the Screens every Thursday. And, we’d love your help in doing it! 

Have a Thiam Creator you fan over, from any platform (AO3, Tumblr, Wattpad, Instagram, FFN, etc). Please send us their names. Bonus points if you include any questions you’re dying to ask them. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.

Hasta Luego!

[literaphobe]

i’m in love with a girl i hate (she enjoys, pointing out every bad thing about me)

this is... the drama club AU. i honestly have no idea how to summarize this without giving stuff away so you know what?? YOU should read this and send me a summary!! (you don’t have to but it could be fun who knows) ANYHOOZLE heads up this is not a one shot,, this is chapter one (6.6k words, just sayin) of what i’m gonna call the drama club AU. jake and amy are here, this is a peraltiago AU,, the squad’s all there so just roll with this!!

(title from She’s A Lady by Forever the Sickest Kids)

“This is gonna be your what- hundredth school production?” Kylie snorts over the phone. “You might actually act yourself to death if you keep doing this.”

“It’s fun, Kylie. Memorizing lines, bringing joy to an audience-”

“You mean getting standing ovations and praise, or approval of some kind?” Kylie interjects without a moment’s hesitation. “Amy, I may have moved to a new school district, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten your validation craving ass.”

Amy huffs, but it’s light-hearted and lacking any sort of malice, because Kylie is absolutely right. She yearns for approval, especially when it comes from authority figures, people she respects, etc.

“Fine. I guess I do love all of that. But even if I hated acting, I’m attached to the club at this point. I wouldn’t leave.”

“Ah, Jake Peralta must’ve finally grown on you-”

“Shut up! He’s unbearable!”

If Amy were forced to pick one aspect of theatre she found the most tiring, insufferable, vexing, and draining to experience- it would be Jake. Hands down. She wouldn’t even have to consider it. Jake Peralta is annoying, full of himself, tells stupid jokes, and oh yeah- they’re enemies, something mutually declared since elementary school.

“Lies, lies, lies,” Kylie drawls sultrily. “Surely years of playing lovers doth drawn you close?”

Amy groans into the receiver to express her disgust as dramatically as possible. “No- no no no no no! That doesn’t even make sense!”

High school brought upon a mysterious phenomenon that was an absolute curse to Amy. For the past three years, Jake and Amy have been cast as lovers in every single school production they’ve acted in. That’s right-- Every. Single. One. Their director Raymond Holt insists he’s not doing it on purpose- they are apparently the only actors in the club exhibiting the right chemistry to portray lovers.

This knowledge appalls them both, but it’s a good thing playing romantic counterparts usually comes with lead roles. Everyone loves a good romance, but no one loves love more than their scriptwriter, Terry Jeffords, whom they mostly refer to as Terry. Terry makes a living playing in the NFL, writing plays for their school as a hobby. He’s an alumni student with a knack for language, and a degree in theater studies to back it up. His plays are witty and poetic, but most significantly riddled with romance and thus he always has his main characters fall in love with each other.

“Come on- it’s got to mean something if they keep casting the two of you as a couple. And don’t give me that enemy crap- enemies hardly talk to each other, and they definitely don’t play lovers on stage.”

“Hey, we have no say in the casting! And I wish he wouldn’t talk to me- we’re not friends, and we never will be.”

Kylie pauses, withholding response to ponder over this. Amy was being unnecessarily hostile regarding Jake- sure they were ‘enemies’, but Kylie would actually categorize their relationship as more of an off-and-on friendship.

Of course, they were nothing but vicious to each other before high school-- Jake and Amy used to go head to head for lead characters, and considered the other their biggest competitor when it came to casting. Director Holt always made sure there was no bias in his scripts, giving rise to gender neutral roles that meant Jake and Amy were always on equal footing to fight over main characters.

That was the most stark similarity about them- their competitiveness. But their shared competitiveness was matched with passion and talent, putting the two of them among Director Holt’s favorites. Eventually, he started casting them as romantic counterparts- whether this was a ploy to force Jake and Amy to overcome their differences was something only the man himself would know.

In short, Jake and Amy’s relationship became more amicable after they started high school, although they often clash resulting in bouts of annoyance and resentment (usually caused by Jake and experienced by Amy).

Kylie’s point is-- Amy doesn’t get this mad and insistent about Jake and her being enemies unless he does something to majorly piss her off, which leads her to believe…

“He made one of those 'title of your sex tape’ jokes again, didn’t he?”

“I’m hanging up.” This means Kylie is a hundred percent right.

“Hey, calm down! They’re a little funny.”

“How could you be on his side?”

“I’m not! Maybe…” Kylie smirks. “Those 'jokes’ are his way of saying he wants to have se-”

“GOODBYE, KYLIE.”

She hangs up for real after that.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL, 0807 HOURS, JAKE AND AMY’S HOMEROOM

Amy watches unfazed but with a rapt attention as Jake shuffles into class minutes late without a shred of urgency. He spots her disapproving frown immediately, waving shamelessly before placing a finger over his lips- as if he were worried about getting caught. Their homeroom teacher Mr McGintley is fast asleep on his desk, snores rolling out in crescendos and diminuendos.

“Hey desk buddy,” Jake greets blithe and casual as he settles in the seat next to Amy, maliciously rubbing in the new fact that they’re desk partners. Assigned to sit together. For an entire school year. It’s only for homeroom and Global Studies, but still.

“You’re seven minutes late,” she cuts in bluntly, her face burning with a glower. She hates how ostentatious his attitude towards late-coming is, although to be fair Jake’s existence generally tends to irk her in and of itself.

“Who died and made you teacher?” He teases, noisily dumping his duffle bag on the table and carelessly rummaging through it for god-knows-what.

Amy points at their unconscious teacher. “Does he look alive to you?”

Laughter bubbles in Jake’s throat, which sweetens Amy’s bitter mood. He often has a tendency to be the most annoying person on the planet, but his laughter rings and chimes, uplifting and contagious to all who hear it.

“Okay okay, I actually have a good reason for being late-” he finally pulls what he’s been looking for out his bag (which she notes with a grimace, is full of trash), revealing a large packet of gummy worms. “I bought sour candy from the bodega that’s shutting down! Their prices now are dope-ishly low.”

“That’s not a valid reason,” it’s not Amy’s job to care, but she’s stating a fact. Buying candy has never been and never will be accepted as a pardon for being late to school. “Also 'dope-ishly’ is not a word.”

“Aww, don’t frown you sour clown-” he coos mushily, which disgusts Amy. “I got you something too.”

A flash of intrigue passes over her face, but is soon replaced with skepticism.

“Really,” she says flatly. “Don’t tell me it’s candy.”

“Fine, I won’t tell you-” yet he reaches into his bag and pulls out a pen which nearly gets Amy shrieking.

Which might seem to be an overreaction, but this isn’t just any old pen- it’s a limited edition fountain pen that Amy remembers complaining about being out of stock the week before.

She’s in shock.

“Why did you- how did you-”

“Chillax. I saw it while buying candy and bought it since I had extra cash. It was the last one. You’re welcome.”

Amy looks up at him disbelievingly. “You bought this at a bodega?”

“No,” he corrects. “I was buying candy on the way home yesterday too. And it was in the stationary store next door.”

Amy forces herself not to disapprove of or form any sort of judgement regarding his addiction to sugar. He did, after all, buy her an expensive fountain pen she had been searching for for weeks. “How did you… remember? How did you even know?”

“No biggie. You wouldn’t stop yappin’ on about it, ‘course I heard everything. And don’t think I did this for you–” he waggles his finger playfully–“I did this for Karma.”

Amy snorts, straightening in her seat because whatever Jake’s about to say next is probably going to be good.

“You did this for luck?”

“Specifically, so that we won’t get cast as a couple again this year,” he explains, and this logic resonates with Amy.

“Oh, yes. I’d love for that not to happen.”

“So we’re on the same page, good. Because full offense, but I wanna do actual cool stuff this year, not practice making goo-goo eyes at you all the time.”

Amy nods her assent. “Agreed.”

“Nice. And just in case the universe hasn’t caught up-” Jake takes the fountain pen from Amy’s hands, before presenting it to her again in a formal gesture. “This is me–” he looks up at the ceiling, speaking to the universe–“doing something nice for Amy Santiago.”

“And this is me-” Amy continues, looking up at the ceiling as well, surprising Jake with how seriously she’s taking this. “-accepting his nice act of kindness.”

After a delayed pause, they break apart, Jake returning the fountain pen to Amy.

“That better work. Here’s to not being onstage lovers.”

The bell rings then, and they part ways for classes where they won’t have to sit together.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1803 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (AUDITIONS)

“–the role of Johnny will be played by Jake, and lastly, the role of Dora will be taken on by Amy.”

“Yes!” Jake fist-pumps excitedly, whooping and cheering boisterously as his voice echoes throughout the theater.

It seems Karma is working in his favor- Johnny’s a badass (as far as Jake can tell from the script excerpts they read for auditions), and he seems to have no interest in romantic entanglements whatsoever. In fact, none of the script excerpts seem to reveal any sort of romance in the play at all. Terry must’ve finally grown sick of the lovers thing, thank god (or Karma).

Plus, Johnny is long for John, and Terry hasn’t revealed character last names yet, but in Jake’s mind Johnny’s last name is definitely McClane.

“Please do limit your reactions,” Holt reminds pointedly, his words directed at Jake, specifically.

“Sure. But like… my passion for theater overwhelms thy?” Jake attempts, failing miserably to make any sense. It will probably be best for his pursue of theatrics to end with high school.

Thankfully, any negative reaction from Holt gets interrupted by Terry, who nearly bursts through the doors in excitement.

“The scripts are printed!” He announces, relief evident in his voice. The printing shop had messed up that morning, and thus he could only get parts of the script to school on time for auditions.

“Excellent,” Holt remarks with a slight nod. “All speaking roles in the play have thus been assigned, and I’ll start working with the ensemble in our upcoming session. We shall also be doing a script read, so kindly go through the script on your own when you return home. Gina, do send me a text message if you have any suggestions regarding ensemble work.”

“Aight,” says Gina, leader of the ensemble, and the reason why they have at least three dance numbers every performance. Holt took a liking to her years ago, seeing promise and potential in her, which he could not be more right about.

“If there are no further questions, you are all dismissed. Have a good rest.”

JAKE’S BEDROOM, 2347 HOURS, WAY PAST HIS BEDTIME BUT WHO CARES, HIS MOM STOPPED ENFORCING THAT YEARS AGO

Three-ty (so, thirty) five games of Kwazy Cupcakes later (don’t judge him, he was this close to beating Gina’s score), Jake rolls over and puts his phone down to charge, catching sight of his script and deciding to leaf through it before going to bed.

He decides he likes Johnny well enough, although he doesn’t actually turn out as similar to John McClane as Jake would prefer- he’s still pretty cool in his own way.

Jake nearly shuts his script when he notices something at the bottom of the page-

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

What? This couldn’t be happening!

Jake reads through the script again and again, scrutinizing the interactions between Johnny and Dora- crap, Amy was playing Dora!

His chest tightens nervously as he flips the pages, words blurring together as he begins to full-on freak out. This can’t be, his eyes must be playing tricks on him- why was there a kiss?

The only thing that surfaces to his mind as he tosses his script halfway across the room is that Karma- is an absolute bitch, as they say, and doing anything good is pointless because the universe doesn’t care what you do. In fact, doing something nice- like getting Amy the fountain pen she wanted so badly and making her eyes widen like they always do over nerdy stuff- was only going to result in something worse- like having to kiss Amy.

SOMEWHERE IN BROOKLYN, 0758 HOURS, EN ROUTE TO BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL

Jake frantically reads through the script again, praying, hoping, that what he discovered last night was all part of a dream (or some horrific nightmare) and that Johnny’s actually just as cool if not even cooler than John McClane, super badass- and most importantly, doesn’t have to suck face with anyone.

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

God damnit- no! Jake nearly rips the script in frustration, but his scripts are almost always subject to wear and tear anyway (unlike Amy’s neatly filed scripts with her lines highlighted, neatly margined with post-its containing actor’s notes), so it would make no difference, really.

What was he going to do? He has to kiss Amy, for god’s sake, and that’s (obviously) something they’ve never done. Yes, they’ve been playing lovers onstage for three years straight, but they have never, ever, had to kiss.

Until now, apparently.

Jake plods in dread, each footstep he takes slowing with every pace. He’s really not looking forward to school today.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL, 0809 HOURS, JAKE AND AMY’S HOMEROOM

Amy’s staring into space, not bothering to acknowledge Jake’s tardiness, not even glancing over when Jake trudges in (significantly quieter than usual). She seems to be deep in concentration, or confusion, or heck it could be happiness- Jake can’t say for sure, because he feels much too awkward about the whole situation to look at her too.

“Hey,” he finally says, because the silence wants to kill him, and they can’t not talk about this.

“Hey,” she mumbles, fiddling with her hair absentmindedly, actions Jake’s not used to seeing Amy take.

“Okay, I’ll come right out and say it because you obviously read the whole script first thing when you got home- what the hell is up with that kiss?”

“I know right?” Amy snaps and words roll out her mouth, unstoppable. “It makes no sense to me! Why in the world would a strong, independent woman like Dora be interested in someone like Johnny?”

Jake tenses. “I wouldn’t go that deep yet- my issue was mainly the smooching.”

To be fair, Amy had not read the entire script like Jake assumed. She too, got freaked out when she realized what was going to happen between their characters and could barely process any more words after that. Her impression of Dora was largely based on the material they received during the auditions, and the way she had planned to portray her.

Amy gulps, receding back to her previous disposition. “Yeah. That- I don’t- why would Terry do something like that?”

Jake shrugs. “Maybe Holt’s gonna hate it. I mean, maybe he doesn’t know about the kiss yet, and he’ll tell Terry to cut it.”

“Maybe.”

“Or we can protest- right? Holt will hear us out. They can’t make us kiss.”

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1520 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (REHEARSAL)

They’re completely wrong- Holt loves Terry’s script to bits.

“Dare I say, Jeffords, this could very well be your best work,” he remarks, shaking his head in pride as he reads through the script.

“Thank you, Sir, that means a lot to hear.”

Jake and Amy exchange panicked looks- neither of them want to protest against the script after hearing something like that. One other thing they have in common is not wanting to disappoint Holt (although Jake would never admit this), which means they have to suck it up and… suck face.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1525 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (WATER BREAK BEFORE FIRST SCRIPT READ)

“Okay what if-” Jake suggests as Amy nervously gulps water. “We got the wrong script?”

Amy’s face contorts doubtfully. “How would that happen?”

“Maybe–” his fingers tap against the drywall–“the kiss was in an earlier draft of Terry’s play, but he cut it out, but it didn’t change for our scripts.”

Amy’s eyes brighten with a glimmer of hope. “It’s a very slim chance, but…”

The two break off immediately, determined to check as many scripts as possible in order to test their theory.

Jake spots Charles nearby, working on a list of props they’ll need to make, using the script as reference. Ever since he’s been promoted to Head Of Props, Charles has taken a bit of a backseat acting-wise by taking on smaller roles, which isn’t a problem at all because he’s absolutely brilliant with props. Charles has delicate and dainty fingers perfect for crafting the most sturdy and beautiful props, thus making him the right person for the job.

“Hey buddy, can I take a look at that?” Jake trails on with an air of nonchalance, grabbing the script and quickly scanning through it before Charles even realizes it’s out of his hands.

“Sure, I’ll just work on this later. You forgot your script again, huh?” He teases, but lacking any sort of judgement.

“Nah, me and Amy are just checkin’ in case we don’t actually have to kiss in the play.”

“YOU AND AMY HAVE TO KISS?!”

Charles shocks Jake, the entire club, Holt, Terry, the building, and possibly the entire world with his explosive response. He’s on his feet now, eyes wide open and fingers curled in excitement.

While his outburst was a shock, Charles’ happiness comes at no surprise to Jake. The former often tries to persuade Jake that his supposed 'hatred’ for Amy is in actual fact, a huge crush. Their repeated claims to be enemies mean nothing to Charles’ heart.

“OH, YOU PROBABLY MEAN BLUE AND CREAMY HAVE TO CHEESE, CHARLES!” Jake yells, just as loudly in a desperate attempt to cover up, which is completely useless since everyone definitely heard Charles loud and clear.

“Really, Charles?!” Jake whispers in a harsh tone which does nothing to tear down Charles’ jubilation.

“Not sorry, Jake. This is destiny!”

“No, this is not destiny, this is something that can’t happen!” Jake settles with a frustrated sigh in a nearby seat. “At least you not knowing probably means we don’t really have to kiss.”

“Uh, actually Jake- I haven’t read the whole script.”

“What? Charles!” Jake picks the script back up and furiously searches again.

“I’m sorry! I only have a few lines, and I needed to catch up on homework.”

Jake freezes in place suddenly, which gets Charles grinning wide and leaning over to read the line:

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

Jake groans in denial, getting him strange looks from some, but smirks from many others that already know what Jake and Amy have to do.

Almost everyone knows by the time the script read starts, and it gets people looking at Jake and Amy suggestively, to say the least.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1530 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (FIRST SCRIPT READ)

It only gets worse from there. People don’t just look at Jake and Amy, they’re affected, jittery and giggly as they mess up lines, recite with the wrong emotions.

Jake and Amy, on the other hand, are awkward and their delivery is lifeless. They too, fail to maintain any semblance of professionalism.

Holt stops the script read halfway through.

“I am incredibly disappointed in you all. This childish buffoonery is something I wouldn’t dream of receiving even from actors in elementary school- of which, the few of you that I worked with then displayed better performance than you currently are. If everyone doesn’t get their act together– literally, I will cancel this year’s play effective immediately. Am I clear?”

His anger has everything. Enunciated denunciations, finger pointing, and wordplay delivered with a serious face. Everyone shrivels in shame at having let down their respected director, most of all Jake and Amy. They know they’ve caused the club to lose focus for the craft, and they themselves have also failed to keep up their standards and live up to Holt’s expectations.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1750 HOURS, DRESSING ROOM (ONE WEEK LATER)

The past week was one of silence between Jake and Amy. Things are awkward, and they haven’t spoken since getting very thoroughly chewed out by Holt the week before. Neither has bothered striking up a conversation which makes class quiet and boring, but it’s better than having to confront the issue.

Except, things have improved from last rehearsal. Everyone takes the script read seriously, pleasing Director Holt which makes him decide to start blocking scenes. His focus this rehearsal is largely on scene transitions, as it’s too early to experiment with props and set. As a result, things are moving quickly, actors running on and off stage with their scripts and saying their lines, barely making the effort to experiment with any actions.

That’s actually the problem here, for Jake and Amy. Things are moving much too quickly, and they know their kiss scene is coming up. They won’t be 'saved by the bell’ or allowed to skip that scene because that’s not Holt’s style, and they can’t go on stage and beat about the bush about having to kiss, because it might make Holt angry again.

Everyone’s doing a great job today, including Jake and Amy, and they can’t ruin that because they’re getting all freaked out about touching lips. It’s a kiss, that likely won’t last more than a few seconds, and it’s not like they’ve never kissed other people. Jake’s had two girlfriends, like the goddamn rockstar he is, and Amy used to date Teddy, a fucking loser Jake hates, but Amy used to make out with that blob, so he’s (unfortunately) still being noted as part of Amy’s past kissing experience. Her kissing resume, or her kissing portfolio, if you will.

Point is- Jake and Amy have never kissed each other, and they’ll never want to, but they very likely have to within the next hour or so regardless of their feelings, and that’s why Jake’s now standing in the dressing room, having followed Amy in.

Somehow, she’s not even surprised and seems to have no intention of kicking him out.

“Hey,” she says, swallowing awkwardly as she leans against the corner of the dressing table. Jake fares no better in looking cool, and is so close to the door he might as well not have entered the room in the first place.

“Hey,” he says, and then he cracks because this pressure is crazy unbearable and one of them has to take the plunge and go for it, right?

“Okay so- things are moving real fast rehearsal wise, and I don’t think we can skip… y'know.”

Amy nods rapidly, picking at her skin. “Yeah, I know. We’ll probably have to be on stage soon, give or take a few minutes.”

Jake takes a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. He can’t believe he’s actually going to suggest this, even though it’s literally why he followed Amy into this dressing room.

“Look- we’re gonna have to do it eventually, so you wanna just… practice before we have to do it for realz? I don’t want Holt to go batshit crazy again, and if we mess this up everyone’s gonna laugh in our faces.”

Amy nods, and it seems like it’s the only thing she’s been capable of this entire conversation.

“I mean, Gina’s convinced it’s gonna be the kiss of the century in terms of sloppiness and unwillingness, so we gotta at least prove her wrong about our kiss being 'Youtube-viral’ bad.”

This gets Amy to crack a smile- it’s half-hearted of course, but her tense and overly quiet demeanor had been far too worrying to get subjected to, and although Jake’s not exactly throwing a parade in excitement over having to kiss her, he hasn’t nearly been this unresponsive.

“Yeah, let’s do this,” she tacks on with a lip bite. “Lock the door.”

Jake titters to lighten the mood. “And I thought we were leaving it wide open so everyone could watch,” but he locks the door.

They both take a deep breath. Several deep breaths.

“We’re really doing this,” he says, and it’s possible he’s never felt so anxious about- anything, really.

“Yup. We are about to kiss. To practice. For stage. Play-” she sucks in a tight breath, because she’s clearly freaking out about this too.

“Okay, we’re making this out to be too big a deal. On three, we kiss. Okay? One-”

“-who’s doing the counting?” She interjects unintentionally, eyes widening when she realizes he had already started counting and she had just interrupted him, stopping his flow and making everything worse.

“God damnit, Ames, you’re-”

“Screw it- onetwothree,” she stammers before grabbing his shirt and pulling in for a kiss.

Jake’s caught completely off guard at first and his late response is slow and cautious. Amy’s lips feel uncertain and scared against his so he decides to meet her efforts at initiation with a bit more confidence. They’re practicing kissing, right? He knows how to kiss kinda, so he’s not gonna give her half-assed snorkeling and starts properly moving his lips.

Her hands are still clutching his shirt tight and stiff, so he places his arms around her waist because he has no where else to put them, and holding them up like he’s being held hostage is probably not something he should produce on stage.

The strange thing is, they actually start getting into a little bit of a rhythm, and it’s… not bad.

Okay, it’s more than just not bad, it’s good, it’s really good and it just gets better by the second.

Jake’s insistent lips encourage a more passionate and fiery response from Amy, and that’s when things spiral out of control.

Jake sees stars when Amy shoves him against the wall, her hands no longer just crumpling his un-ironed shirt but instead grazing his sides. It’s strangely a sensation he enjoys- her hands are gentle but ambitious, they want more than they’re getting, and Jake wants to give Amy’s hands whatever they want.

By the time Jake meets Amy’s tongue, not stuck out at him in petty annoyance, but delving into his mouth, warm and playful; he’s completely lost in pleasure. Kissing Amy is ecstasy, pure heaven, and he hums in delight at the talent of her lips with each smack and lick.

Jake and Amy completely lose themselves, forgetting everything around them, the reason why they started kissing in the first place slipping from their minds. Their hearts are pounding no longer from nervousness but from the intensity of their actions. Their kiss seems to have no end, only slowing down now and then with no signs of stopping. Their minds are blank, completely blank, because somehow getting sucked into what is currently the most mind-blowing kiss of either of their lives leaves little space for critical thinking.

Jake’s hands leave Amy’s waist and begin combing through her hair, she bucks up against his lips and Jake smiles, he takes note of this for future-

“JAKE IF YOU’RE IN THERE GET ON STAGE ITS TIME FOR THE KISS SCENE!”

Jake and Amy split apart, Charles’ (very excited) voice waking them up like getting dunked in a bucket of ice. They’re panting heavily, having pushed each other away in sheer horror. Jake’s not looking at Amy, Amy’s not looking at Jake, they’re both just staring at different areas of space trying to pump enough oxygen back into their brains.

Which is when Jake starts to truly panic.

What on earth just happened? His lips, and Amy’s lips, touched and did something and it was magical and beautiful and honestly kinda sexy and she was sexy and the kiss was super hot and- Jake is a complete mess who may or may not want to grab Amy and start kissing her again.

Because holy smokes that felt good. Really good, the best damn kiss of Jake’s life. And seeing Teddy and knowing what a loser he is he probably did a crap job of kissing Amy too so heck, assuming Amy hasn’t kissed anyone else, could be the best kiss of her life too! Just saying!

“I think we have to go,” and Amy’s words descend Jake into new levels of dismay.

They were going to have to kiss now. In front of Holt, and anyone else watching- they were going to have to kiss each other.

Jake could be considered an idiot for freaking out about having to kiss Amy after just kissing Amy– but that’s the entire point. He kissed Amy. When really, he should’ve just lightly smooched Amy. Or pecked her on the lips. But no, they just had to make out for god knows how long, and he’s freaking out because the way they just sucked face is definitely not how they should suck face on stage. Or anywhere, really. Their kiss was something he wouldn’t recommend showing to kids.

Because as Jake recalls all too clearly (due to reading it over and over to make sure it was real), the script calls for:

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

See? A cute, PG-rated kiss that kids could see and go aw, not their violent slamming against walls, hair-pulling mess that would make children cry, scarring them for life.

What they need (in about seconds from now) is a sweet, innocent kiss– not Thirty Seconds Before Porn. And given how they failed to do that in the dressing room, Jake isn’t sure they’ll be able to pull it off now.

They approach the stage carefully, steps loaded with dread when they realize Holt is no longer in the audience. Instead, they see almost everyone from the club, with Gina and Rosa sitting in the front row. For some strange reason, everyone has popcorn, Gina and Rosa most of all.

“Where did Holt go?” Amy asks, genuinely curious, although Jake can’t help but note a degree of relief in her voice.

“Family emergency,” Rosa explains, mouth full of popcorn. She has no business staying here right now, being in charge of both lights and sound (yeah, Rosa’s good), and it’s too early in the stage of production for her to be of use. She’s required to turn up for club sessions, of course, but Rosa’s definitely not supposed to be sitting in the front row, eating popcorn like she’s about to watch her favorite movie in theater for the third time in a row.

In fact, none of the club members are supposed to be sitting in the audience seats right now as per Holt’s rules, let alone the whole club.

“Then why are we all still here? Doesn’t this mean rehearsal’s over?” Jake questions.

“Nuh uh,” Gina explains, mouth full of popcorn as well. Where they all got their popcorn is a mystery, but not a prioritized concern. “Holt says I gotta make sure y'all get the kiss right, he says he wants to see it next rehearsal.”

Jake rolls his eyes. “Fine-” he grabs Amy’s face and plants a kiss smack on her lips before pulling away, taking her by surprise. “Can we go home now?”

Some people whoop in excitement, others gasp in shock at actually seeing Jake and Amy kiss, albeit briefly. Charles starts tearing up, which Jake pretends he doesn’t see.

“NO,” Gina narrows her eyes, which only makes Rosa break into a wide grin. “Not good enough. Do you want me to tell Holt y'all ain’t taking this seriously?”

Jake and Amy protest against this apologetically. Gina’s threats hold real power because Holt trusts in Gina and her judgement. If she were to tell Holt that Jake and Amy weren’t taking parts of the play seriously, he would believe her, and that’s not something either of them want.

“How long do you even want us to kiss for?” Amy asks, her tone impatient but question valid.

“Forever,” Charles sighs with a dreamy smile, and it kind of scares Jake if he’s being honest.

“Give it at least ten seconds,” Gina relents, and Jake and Amy shrug because hey, that’s reasonable.

Except when they do kiss, it’s awkward and strange all over again because they seem to be holding back (because they are holding back), and they’re kissing weird and with restraint, something they would’ve expected from themselves if they had not practiced. So their practice session had been practically useless.

The crowd goes wild- not with applause, but with jeers and taunts. They’re being booed by the drama club, especially Gina and Rosa who hurl popcorn at them, eventually prompting them to stop kissing because things are getting way too crazy.

“COME ON, GET SOME TONGUE IN THERE!” Gina yells.

“GRAB EACH OTHERS ASSES!” Rosa adds just as aggressively.

Only Charles remains loyal and still touched by their kiss, and after all the hubbub dies down everyone slowly leaves the theatre to go home because Gina and Rosa had lied about rehearsal not being over and everyone had went along with it to see Jake and Amy kiss.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1804 HOURS, DRESSING ROOM

Amy walks back to the dressing room (after Gina announces that rehearsal’s over) which thankfully no one is around to witness, especially since she hears Jake’s footsteps behind following her.

He locks the door, a smart move that nearly gets Amy blushing.

“So um, that went horribly,” she starts, because it really did, and she kind of wants to talk about how intense their kiss from before got but she doesn’t know how to even begin to approach the situation.

“Mmhmm, yeah,” Jake slurs in a way that Amy knows usually means he’s not listening to a word she’s saying. She’s about to chide him but when she looks up he’s very obviously staring at her lips. She’s almost surprised but the attention he adorns her with makes it hard to look away. His eyes on her makes Amy feel like the most prized possession one could only wish for.

This heated exchange of gazes snaps and Amy’s not sure who surges forth first but they’re kissing again, and it’s somehow even better than the first time– it’s more desperate, it starts much faster and needier than their last, and it feels absolutely incredible.

Kissing Jake is more than just kissing- his arms are wrapped around her more firmly now, his hands running rampant up and down her back; desire pools at the pit of her belly because his lips declare want and need, insufferable need without using words and his hands feel so ridiculously good, Amy both wishes and would hate for his hands to leave her back and touch her elsewhere.

Embarrassingly, Amy’s so overwhelmed by pleasure she lets out a wordless moan that gets Jake chuckling noiselessly against her lips. She finally comes to her senses and pushes him away.

“Okay- that, that’s just weird,” she puts it out there, because it is weird, super weird-

“Uh, huh,” he shifts, voice strained.

“We- we’re supposed to hate each other,” she says, and it comes out almost as a reminder, a memo that hey, they’re still enemies and enemies do not make out… like that.

“Oh yeah, I like, super hate you too,” he’s very unconvincing, but Amy can’t blame him for not hating her guts after what they just did. It was freaking amazing, even if she says so herself.

“So what does-”

“-but maybe this isn’t about us, or hating each other, or anything. Maybe we’re just super good actors and it shows.”

Amy considers this. “Huh.”

“Right?”

“Okay but- when Teddy and I used to kiss it was never anything like that.”

Jake grins wide and proud, and Amy almost rolls her eyes because great, she just gave him more reason to be super full of himself.

“Hmm, never would’ve guessed,” he teases, but Amy can’t even bring herself to get mad. “But like, ditto. It was never like that for me either, but Teddy isn’t an actor, and neither were my exes.”

Amy nods. “That’s true.”

“So maybe it’s just one of those actor chemistry thingies. And we’re just good at kissing. And that’s why–” his hand extends, gesturing back and forth–“this, y'know.”

“Yeah, I think I get what you mean,” Amy crosses her arms. “So since we’ve pretty much nailed this kissing thing, we should stop practicing?”

“What? NO-” Jake protests, with an intensity that scares Amy.

“Why not?”

“No, I don’t think we should stop at all. In fact, I think we need to keep practicing.”

Amy raises an eyebrow in interest. A part of her is curious about how Jake will explain himself. Another small, very small part she’s barely aware of, wants him to admit he wants to keep kissing her… purely because of how enjoyable he finds it.

“Why?”

“You think they’re gonna let us up on stage with a kiss like that Parents will sue, just like they did when Charles played Daddy Warbucks in our production of Annie-”

“Ew, no! Gross gross gross! Please don’t remind me of that,” she begs with her fingers curled up and her eyes tight shut. She doesn’t know this, but Jake finds it to be almost cute.

“Amy-” he continues, “we have to focus all our energy into making this kiss as un-sexy and school friendly as we possibly can.”

“That was sexy to you?” Amy teases, almost because she wants to hear him admit it, somehow making her worst enemy (that makes sex tape jokes insinuating that she’s a boring prude) admit that something she did/participated in was sexy is appealing to her.

Jake looks at Amy incredulously, like she’s got to be kidding him. “Amy, you moaned.”

Amy’s breath catches in her throat, because she knows she did, and she knows she was loud enough for him to hear, and she knows she pulled away specifically because she had moaned, and because of his reaction to it but- hearing him lay it all out makes it so much more real, and she’s now tongue tied and her cheeks are burning more and more with each passing second.

He knows he’s got her feeling shy, and he responds with a shallow laugh. “Relax, it’s cool, it happens. And it was pretty hot, I’ll give you that-” this makes Amy feel like convulsing, “but it’s exactly that kind of stuff that we need to get rid of before we take this kiss from the page-to-the-stage.”

Amy inhales sharply, and builds up the nerve to look up at him. “Okay, I’m in.”

“You are? Cool. Okay so- I don’t think we should keep practicing in here because people are eventually gonna find out and ask why we keep going to the dressing room together and locking the door, so we should meet up someplace else.”

“Where?”

“I’m thinking- my place? Before you say anything–” he holds his hands up even though Amy hasn’t so much as said a word of protest–“hear me out: my mom works late so we’ll get the house to ourselves. We could even do lines together, and hey- you can bring your homework! I know you’re always complaining about how noisy your place is. Seven brothers and all that.”

It’s a strangely sweet proposal, filled with details catering to Amy; how he pays attention to details about herself she doesn’t even directly share with him is frankly kind of amazing.

“I’m sold,” she says, holding her hand out which Jake shakes.

“Awesome. So it’s settled then.”

[civilorange]

Multiples of 5 (QoE specific, if you can)! :D

5. Books or authorsthat influenced your style the most.Ayn Rand, was a big influence, just because I devoured her books in high school—Icouldn’t get enough. I really liked the Kathy Mallory detective novels in highschool too—going back and reading them makes me go “oh, wow, this is different”but it wasn’t your typicalprotagonist, or at least, it didn’t seem that way when I was all of fifteenyears old.

10. 10. Pick a writerto co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about. Oh, easy. @fictorium — for sure.I’ll just enjoy the snappy dialog and wonderful characterization from her, andthen I’ll contribute an unnecessary five paragraph introspection on like, a bagel,or whatever—how breakfast makes our protagonist feel. Let’s see, I’m going to hit up a random plot generator to getour book’s synopsis—Christina Milhouseused to have it all—the fame, the fortune, the family, and many other things startingwith F—until it all came crashing down and she was left to the generalobscurity of being a B-list celebrity. How does someone deal with becomingnothing more than the answer to local Wednesday night bar trivia? “Who used tomatter for five hundred, Alex.” Enter a disgraced FBI agent with a penchant forassuming the worst—and usually being right. Agent Nicole Michael—everyone trustsa woman with two first names—knows the only way to save the world, and stop asuspiciously Illuminati-like organization, is finding the Arcadia. That just sohappens to be a piece of set memorabilia that Christina stole—allegedly, herlawyers still insist—a decade prior. Murder, mystery, eBay, and someone’sex-wife—Nicole’s—may just be involved in the plot.

[random plot generator: mid-fortiesfemale b-list celebrity who is dishonest, early fifties female disgraced fbiagent who is head-strong, story begins in a bar, something important has beenstolen, it’s a story about loyalty, your character bites off more than she canchew.]

15. Where does yourinspiration come from?Oh, I don’t know, meng. I’m scatter-brained enough that half the time I’ll getan idea from something completely unrelated. Or it’ll just happen while writing, since I usually don’t have much of a planwhen I sit down to write.

20. Post a snippet ofa WIP you’re working on.Kara had always been a mosaic of brokenpieces—beautiful shards of a person shattered young. It was world changing forClark to finally see it, for him to realize who his cousin had always been;behind the smile, and within the laugh. She’d held missing worlds in her heartfor most of her life, it nestled deep and true when she was still only learninghow to be herself.

25. Linear ornon-linear, and why?Non-linear. I think it gives a story texture. I do it because I don’t think Ihave the capacity to follow a plot from point A to point B. I get lost in theweeds. Jumping around makes everything seem fresh, every feeling strongerbecause it’s singled out—like each little scene is amidst an ocean ofpossibility. I’ve always been a fan of detective novels, and shows, andnon-linear just feels like a big who doneit to me.

40. Original Fictionor Fanfiction, and why?They both have their highlights—I’ve done a bunch for both, though all mylonger stories are fanfiction. I like fanfiction because you get to touch aworld that’s already there—it’s already existing in the minds of those reading.You kind of get to go, “Hey, this thing we both love? This is how I see it.”Because you’re both fans, and I think that’s awesome.

45. Worst piece offeedback you’ve ever gotten.It was in sophomore year of high school. Against every instinct I signed up fora creative writing class—Amanda (my wife, though we were just buddies in 10thgrade) had joined and I was a sucker and signed up to spend the period withher. It was full of writing snobs who were like manic with their comma placement,and like very critical of any style not their own. We did peer reviews and thegirl I got partnered with basically told me I was writing wrong, and I was under the impression that wasn’t possible.Especially not in creative writing. I would have understood her being like, “yo,your grammar is garbage” because I haven’t found a sentence I didn’t thinkneeded four commas, but just straight up wrong.Nope.

50. Weirdest storyidea you’ve ever had.I once had to write something about inspiration and I remember it involved aninternational soccer game, the song “Stacy’s Mom” and au gratin potatoes.

New ask game for writers. Ask me!

[phoenixofultimatechaos]

Peeves about fanfictions

If you don't like rants, ignore this post. And yes swear-words are included. I am focusing mostly on  Fairy tail FF, but any of this peeves applies to any other FF out there.

Also warning for spelling and grammar.

We all know fanfictions are more or less... “write it freely thing”,no rules or “you must do this and that”. I get it. But for fucks sake, it dosent mean you can blame everything on the write-as-you-want thing. Hell no. Professional or amateur writer docent matter, nobody will read your fanfiction or

Here are some of the biggest peeves about fanfictions:

1)  Despite this fanfic taking existing characters, the characters used could be someone else.

If you use an existing character, get their personality right. If the characters you use act different and talk different than the ones from the anime or movie you chosen to write your fanfiction about, you can as well change their names to something else. Even if we interpret things different,and why they act certain way does not mean a character can do a 180 degrees turn in their personality.

Sometimes the character from anime/movie acts as the real one would do, and then change into a...well.. a really bad OC.

2)   Author says the fanfiction is based in the already existing world of manga/movie, but none of the existing rules we already know exist in the story, the characters are way off (or only one or 2,while the others act as they normally would), the plot of their fanfictions is disconnected from the world and breaks most of that worlds rules.

No. The “Im just creative” - excuse does NOT excuse your ignorance to details,existing most important rules and simply not wanting to keep yourself within those said rules. If you want to bend rules, learn what they are first. When you know them, you will know:

* how to break them in right way

* what consequences and impact it will have on the story line and the characters

* what those consequences will lead to, and with options will be off-limits due to the rules being broken,and what new possible opportunities have opened up and why.

Remember. IF a rule that exists in the world your characters live in is broken, consequences is a MUST. If you re-invent a rule/rules in that world, you have re-made the world itself with is fine, but do NOT pretend that those characters are still in the same world they are in the anime. Be CLEAR about what is different and what isn't.

3) Pacing goes from 0 to 100 within one paragraph.

Chill.The hell. Out. there is so many details and information missing that NOTHING makes sense here. take time to explain how,when,why and where.

Take us slowly from beginning to the middle and to the end.

4) writers OC is the so called Mary Sue.

I don't believe in Mary Sues,only in bad writing.But holy shit, I know what people mean with Mary Sue. Fairy Tail fandom (and a lot of others too) are FULL of those. When your FT character can:

*open gate to Celestial world (or any other world) at any time without consequences, enter that said world without problem, and is a celestial dragon slayer,and then is an amaaaazing healer, and lets not forget that character sounds like a Lucy Heartfilia,Natsu Dragneel and Wendy mix, then you know you have created a character based on traits you admire in main characters, so you take those out,and put them into one character to show how a “good character looks like”. No offence,but if this character can do all this things, whats the point of having any other character in your fanfic? This one can already do everything, knows everything, uses magic left and right, have no issue travelling to other worlds and is well known powerhouse then sorry princess,your oc have serious issues.

*the OC is. EVERYWHERE. At all times. Sees every single crucial to plot thing, sees all problems that  arise, know why and how, and know automatically how to solve them.

*the OC knows other characters from the very beginning even if they haven't met them. If the other character is well -known (like Natsu aka salamander), then they can react surprised or shocked or happy or whatever you want when they hear his name as in “Oh so HE is from FT and he is the famous Salamander”. They should NOT know who is who after 5min with one of the other characters we already know.

The reader is probably a fan,so no need to go into super-deep detail about an existing character people have been followed in the series your ff is based on. the details about your own OC(s) you kick into their world is the interesting part. The new rules that you have added (maybe linked to previous events fans had seen? ) and why they exist is the interesting part, and how the characters deal with that. Does it affect them? Does it destroy their life? Does it interfere with their job or life, making it harder/easier?

New stuff need explanation, the stuff we seen can be named to and described to help us see what is happening where.

3) Flirty characters end up being written as stalkers, perverts, rapists, or someone who dosent respect the opposite genders “no”, intrudes into their personal space and is in  constant “I wanna do them”-mood.

Dude. I know. Interpretation thing again yea yea. There are still lines between “a little OOC” and “so OOC the character became someone else”. 

Yes I look at you who write about Loke damn it. Or Ezio. Or any other existing flirty character. Stop it. Take your time to get FAMILIAR with the character.

If you intend to overdo a character for comedy's sake,you will need to make everyone else behave off as well. If ALL other characters behave exactly as you would expect them to expect in anime/game/movie and only the character you make as the main one for your FF behaves WAY off, it makes your fanfic unbelievable not to mention a pain to read. And IF there is a reason why the flirty one acts off and not the rest of them, you need to have a reason for that.

4) writers dislike of certain character makes them change that character into a total dick who gains everything for free, and any relationship that hated character had is eliminated or changed so much it makes that character into someone else.

Poor Lisanna Strauss.

when she came back, people hated her. For no fucking reason. And most fanfics that involves her (In the Fairy Tail FF-world) go like this:

*Lisanna is a bitch

*Natsu-team is a bitch to Lucy

*Lucy cries and runs away, and either becomes evil, or ends up screwing around with someone 24/7 and now hates FT because Lisanna is back.

What.The actual FUCK.

Okay.If you want to write about Lisanna being mean, you need to start with an idea WHY. Basing it on “she was with Natsu first” does not hold for more than 1 second. They were not a pair when she poofed from FT. They were not MARRIED.

Biggest insult becomes the “Lucy you are weak go to hell”-attitude ENTIRE guild ends up having. You broke the biggest damn plot-related rule.

““NAKAMA SUPPORTS TOGETHER. NAKAMA IS FAMILY,AND NAKAMA HELP EACH OTHER OUT IN THE TIME OF NEED.“

Second thing you need is slower progression to WHY she is a dick. Why is she going against her nakama? Why are her old friends siding with her?

And no. No. Lucy being weak is your damn opinion. While you can write as if Lisanna thinks that, the OTHER characters change in one second flat. if they start thinking like Lisanna, you need. A freaking reason. WHY. And keep them in character as much as possible.

Can you really imagine Makarov say “yea they are right you suck” to one of FT members? If he decides to side with Lisanna, you need to keep his way of talking intact. Act as an actual old, wise and calm adult, not like some teenager who sides with his bully-buddys.

5) Characters that are not known for being power-houses in series become described as weak-ones. And everyone else thinks so too! No valid explanation, just pure hate from start to end.

Not being a official powerhouse in the movie/manga sucks. If they are not official they always end up being hated in FF. Once again, writers personal opinion takes over and creates this weird “let us kick down this character” instead of neutrally look at the weakness and strengths of that character.

6) “I found a girlfriend for The King so now I can live in human world forever and loose nothing” (Fairy Tail Fandom strikes again).

LucyxLoke shippers. Oh dear gosh,so many idiotic reasons they can find to make Loke stay in human world forever is... countless. few of those reasons are good.

yes Im sure he would abandon his comrades in Celestial World just because of that. Mhm. You are not convincing me with that. Or anyone else for that matter.

7) Blaming every plot hole, bad details, badly laid out information, bad character development, bad personalities mm on “I am amateur author”.

And this is why your writing never gets better.

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and with this,I end my peeve rant thingy for now XD this was just the biggest peeves about fanfiction in general. there are more. A LOT more.