#-and possibly other weird stuff.
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Good website builders/hosts?
Hey gang. Looking to switch my website from its current platform to a new one here in a couple months when the annual subscription runs out but I'm not entirely sure what all the options are beyond the really big companies that dominate the market. I'm looking for something that has a visual editor that is easy to work with & flexible, while still letting me dig into the code and write custom HTML/CSS when I need that. Anyone have any recs?
#Pricing is flexible as long as it isn't something crazy expensive compared to the competition.#I'm currently considering cargo.site and neocities#I would be considering wordpress but I have had some bad experiences with them in the past#I want to move my current professional portfolio site to whatever platform I pick but also have space in the future to have a UF mirror-#-and possibly other weird stuff.#pterotextyl
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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interesting how in the FA "beyond lay the wilderness of Dungortheb, where the sorcery of Sauron and the power of Melian came together, and horror and madness walked", then in the TA the Fangorn-Lorien-Mirkwood triangle of Weird Sorcery Forests exists between the domains of saruman, galadriel, necromancer-sauron, and radagast
#silm#silmarillion#lotr#the hobbit#nan dungortheb#fangorn forest#lothlorien#mirkwood#nan dungortheb had the original spawn of ungoliant; southern mirkwood has the giant spiders (probably lesser spawn)#all three forests were thought cursed in some way (fangorn's huorns + general ominousness; the mini-girdle in lorien)#the weird dol guldur area in southern mirkwood). mirkwood also has the dream-river and the possibly-magic-affected white deer in the hobbit#plus the way it slopes just right to appear endless from within#like. that's a whole lot of maia-power concentrated in one area#and that's coming from at least four distinct ainurin domains (aule; melian/vana; melkor; yavanna)#five if you count the balrog as a separate umaia; and double yavanna if the ents count as well#not to mention nenya doing its thing#and at least one palantir and possibly some dwarf rings in the mix#and also the concerning amount of enchanted dwarf stuff + enchanted celebrimbor stuff#no wonder the rohirrim think the whole place is cursed#also on the other side of the mountains you have elrond with his ulmo-magic and melian-magic and vilya#but hes not as close to saurons borders so rivendell is just Cool Elf Magic and not Terrifying Sorcery lol
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havent googled for a picture in a while so i really didnt know how bad its gotten
been trying to fidn the original pic of that old japanese drawing of a frog (the like.. long one with googly eyes) but its all either AI shit or ten thousand links to etsy, redbubble and similar of spam merch for a DIFFERENT frog
not to sound like a boomer but i want the old internet back
#ganondoodles talks#personal#my older sister wants mroe tattoos and is searching for funky stuff#and we got to weird medival guys#and then i thought of that frog#and yes i tried to put in before 2022 and minus redbubble and etsy and whatever but its then empty or filled with similar other sites#i cannot possibly filter them all
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It would never have happened if not for Dr. Fieldstone. Now, Leslie’s delighted about her joining the Richmond team on a more permanent basis – she works wonders with the lads (and one head coach who shall remain unnamed, if only because he’s still a little sensitive about seeing a therapist) – but it does mean that Leslie’s once more out of an office. Just for the moment, of course, until he can find a suitable space without kicking anyone else out of their room. It’s really no hassle. He’s doing fine on the bench just behind the recyling bins outside of the copy room.
Or he was, until Roy Kent stops by just on the other side of said bins and, seemingly entirely unaware of Leslie’s presence, starts fiddling with his phone in what can only be described as an angry way.
It’s Roy, so that’s nothing out of the ordinary, and Leslie’s just about to offer a friendly greeting when he hears the hollow rings of an outgoing call and ah, it’d be terribly rude interrupt, wouldn’t it?
For a long moment there’s nothing but beep after beep and Roy’s muttered pick the fuck up you fucking prick and then—
“What the fuck do you want?”
Jamie’s not on speaker, but the sound’s loud enough for Higgins to not only recognize the voice but to hear every word, and the jagged, slightly petulant edge to them.
“Where the fuck are you?” Roy growls.
“How’s that any of your business? Training’s fucking over for the day, Coach.” Spat, more or less.
“Don’t be a fucking— “ Roy cuts himself off. “I need to see you.”
“Why?”
“Fucking hell! I wanted to… I want to fucking apologize, all right!” Roy sounds very, very annoyed about it.
“You can do that over phone. Or in a text.” Jamie sounds slightly less annoyed, but not by much.
Leslie dares crane his neck just so to sneak a peek at Roy’s face. Roy has closed his eyes, looking pained as he grits out a simple, strained: “No. I can’t.”
“Why the fuck not?”
Roy looks to the ceiling. Looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. Still he plods on, and Leslie feels a small surge of pity, small surge of pride.
“Because you’ll want to hug me afterwards,” Roy says, “and you can’t fucking do that over phone, can you?”
There’s a long pause. Leslie finds himself holding his breath, and not only because he’s halfway terrified he’ll start nervously gagging if this goes on for much longer.
“Fine,” Jamie says eventually. “You can meet me back at my place in twenty.”
“Yeah, okay. Cheers.”
A snort, somewhere between derisive and exasperated. “You better fucking hug me back.”
With that, Jamie hangs up. Roy takes a few deep breaths before stomping off and leaving Leslie to carefully consider what he’s overheard. Obviously something must have happened at training and if their head coach and star player have a proper falling out and Ted’s not there to talk some sense in them—
Eh. They’ll sort it out. Leslie returns to his e-mails.
#currently and probably forever obsessed with roy understanding and adapting to jamie’s cuddly needs#special shout out to all the sweet people helping me land on the word ‘gag’ as the best way to describe higgins’ weird noise#you are all absolute darlings#if this ficlet seems particularly random or odd#it’s possibly bc this technically is one part of a 5+1 ficlet#about other people obeserving roy and jamie being casually but deeply weird about and with each other#but i’m not sure i’ll ever do the other 4 and 1#so i’ll just put the out one by one as and if ~inspiration~ strikes me#and potentially put them together if i get enough in the end#i realize some people write things and don't inflict them on others just bc they've written them#rip to you but i'm different#jamie tartt#roy kent#leslie higgins#roy & jamie#roy x jamie#post-canon#ficlet#my stuff
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A personal update
because Never Not Oversharing Medical Conditions 2k23: my A1C (average blood sugar levels) has become actual trash, and my GP has put me on Metformin. This is also good for polycystic ovarian bullshit, which I quite thoroughly have! Overall I feel like this is a good development. My gastrointestinal happenings do not agree with this. This is a known and common side effect of starting Metformin and probably will subside, if I don't come down with lactic acidosis first. (It's fine! Relatively rare! BLACK BOX WARNING: A SERIOUS PROBLEM AND CAN LEAD TO DEATH) Nonetheless, this has created a bit of a speedbump in terms of getting things done. I think I will feel a lot better very soon, particularly in terms of fatigue, but right now, there may be no Long Effort Posts this week. Weekend Links will go up as usual.
#honestly I just like normalizing health stuff#like medications: talk about them#it's okay to be on them#sometimes they get weird and you need to be able to advocate for yourself#'hey can we check in on this possibility of death'#'like is there something I need to know about this'#'how possible is it exactly'#'does it interfere with all the other meds that might kill me'#'I feel like this is useful to know; thanks'#health#medications#not sure if#death tw#me for some reason#odds and ends
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why do you hate Joshua Graham or Honest Hearts so much?
This DLC and character represents a bigger issue with fandom spaces I have but particularly fallout fandom in general.
Fallout tends to tackle a lot of topics controversial and not. The first two games it’s heavy cause they are the most satirical and direct with how anti-war, nationalism and etc… they are. 3 loses this as it’s very clear once you play or learn about all the games that Todd and a bunch of guys at Bethesda just liked the 50s post apocalyptic aesthetic and refuse to actually critique the ideals of the time period like the earlier titles.
New Vegas is the game that really gets back into it a degree it almost seems like it’s taking too much on. There are things done exceedingly well while other things are done horribly wrong . I’ve made posts about it before and plan to make a big series of posts (it’s a lot of writing) but my biggest gripe is with Honest Hearts and all the gross and white savior esque depictions it has of indigenous peoples. The entirety if FNV does not do the injustices faced by indigenous people correctly on any count. My two biggest complaints are with the Khans and the tribes in Zion but I’ll talk about the former on a different post.
Both characters of Daniel and Joshua are the most accurate depiction of white saviors I’ve seen and I hate how the DLC tries to justify and defend them. The DLC treats Joshua like this man who has repented for his past actions when he is just retracing his steps after his cruelty bit him in the ass. He was one of the worst parts of the Legion and it is all but explicitly stated that if you don’t force him to be non-violent he will turn the tribes of Zion into the legion 2.0. The Dead Horses and the Sorrows are horribly infantilized by both Daniel and Joshua who both use them for self serving purposes guised by religious duty. The White Legs are the horrible stereotype of violent and savage indigenous and I personally think a lot of their interlinking with Ulysses, his hair and Ulysses character in general are distasteful and very telling of how BIPOC or POC where involved.
But outside of the game it’s the weird obsession people have with these characters ideologies and trying to make them seem more interesting/philosophical than they are. Tumblr is an echo chamber and many fans of Fallout are not the people on this site. Many people are not educated in the issues these characters convey and how poorly they do or used these characters as a poor introduction for their takes. Contrary to what a lot of people believe in, fallout has a prediomeny white cis male fanbase. More importantly a large portion of the fanbase is white.
You can joke how FNV made you trans or see the numbers on post/fics or diverse headcanons but these are kiddy numbers compared to the millions that consume the franchise and aren’t in those more aware spaces or don’t engage in the spaces the same way someone like me does/has to. Their views shape a lot more than people realize and it’s exhausting to be in a space where people don’t correct the more subtle yet toxic aspects of it but also adopt them into some weird quirky view point on the characters or issues. Some people don’t realize and some people don’t care.
My main issue is just the idolizing of these sort of thing in this fandom space and people try to acts like a game like fallout whose tagline is “War never changes” and has never had a game not revolve around political or militaristic factions issues isn’t that deep or doesn’t relate to real issues. I think it’s mainly caused by how over powered you can become and how you can strong arm your way past these learning moments as majority of people who play this game do play it as a power fantasy where they can do so as they please (which of course, go ahead it’s fun) but never take in parallels or lessons in the story as if it was just another first person shooter.
Also like another personal gripe is Cazadores spawn like hell whenever I’m there and I have not found a mod that works to mod them out so I have to play Indigenous Racism the DLC while getting jumped by giant wasps WHILE helping Mormons. Like I cannot catch a break.
#I’m mostly silly or character headcanon focused on this blog#but sometimes I forget some people literally have never interacted with someone slightly outside of their ideologies or don’t learn about#philosophies that don’t pertain to their view point and actively block them out#and so I have like a meltdown and occasionally post about it cause like I see more people hate Danse for regurgitating BoS teachings than#hate Joshua Graham who helped found the legion participated in their practices and still has this weird bloodlust#like make it make sense why do you like this white man genuinly like outside of his aesthetic#I can say silly shit about them hit it’s always I think it’s surreal they even exist while others genuinely wish they did so they could fix#them and some of all don’t realize how quickly jokes lead people down rabbit holes and pipe lines cause ur not gonna see posts even pitying#that man in here#like when I defend Danse it is through the signs and events in game that show he is not stuck in his ways and possibly only adopted those#beliefs because of his tramatic events with super mutants and the bos being very anti anything not human#their are affinity reaction that concern this while Joshua like moans yes when killing the white legs and is always polishing his gun goon#pile like I’ve learned too much about him the Mormon faith and that dlc to be told I’m playing favorites he is not fixable or repentent#this fandom has one of the worst issues of he’s my fave so he can’t do wrong when some of this characters are literal unapologetic rapist#racists or individuals who condone or perpetuate like ideas and concepts like obviously I’m gonna not like them????!#like I still think it’s interest to dissect them and I try so hard to not be a hypocrite but sometimes it’s like the whole this is just a#fun thing for you but like be aware of what you are taking in and reflect like is so important fiction can slowly seep into your morals#I’m rambling and losing track of shit so imma stop here before I reach the tag limit but again dm and ask cause this is the stuff I will#blab about#horrible at normal conversation tho#fallout#fallout new vegas#joshua graham#honest hearts#ask#anon#fallout 3
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Im sosorry to say this and it's maybe the sleep deprivation but your art looks like RCDart. I'm so sirry
hi
i used to get this a lot when i was in high school bc i had an oc with hair that looked like how they drew a characters hair, and i could see it
No It Doesn't. Actually.
#skunk mail#Anonymous#i actually refuse. not even in a ''oh man now im worried it does! i see it!'' way#like no sorry. it doesn't!#if it werent severely overused now i would *extremely loud incorrect buzzer* you#this feels like bait ask with how hard it made me roll my eyes upon seeing it bc what other reaction cld you possibly expect when#sending this to someone LMAO but whatever#<- YKWIM??? its less ''what a horrible comparison!'' bc i know it doesnt look like that...its more like idk#why are ppl still using em as fodder for stuff like this what was the goal! its weird to either party!#there's also smthng to be said abt like. idk i hope theyve grown and changed on the actually harmful views#but their art looks different now last i saw...#i wish them the best what with comments like these + transphobia and such following them around forever; if they have grown and changed
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that post that's like "learning social skills helps with social anxiety" applies to dating also btw
#i guess they have a circular relationship because also going on lots of first dates was really trial by fire for me in learning lots lf#new social skills#meeting new people was never my strong suit and i was very afraid of it and would avoid it but like!#when i first tried going on first dates i learned a lot about how to meet people and met types of queer people i'd never met before#and actually it was good for me even though it was often weird and stressful#and it was a lower-stakes way to practice social skills that i otherwise would've just avoided using until they atrophied#anyway whenever i see a dating profile that's like 'i'm afraid of talking to women lol' i'm like ok relatable but what's your plan to learn#i think also just like it doesn't have to be through dating but it is good for you to meet other gay and trans people offline if possible#when i moved to wisconsin i only knew my coworkers who were mostly also twentysomethings who'd been hired straight from college#and it was good for me to meet and make friends with other local gay and trans people who were involved in different stuff#idk i just don't know how many more 'i'm obsessed with romance but scoff at the idea that i should do anything about that' posts i can read#like if i said i wanted to run a marathon but i never practiced running people would fairly be like okay that's prob not gonna happen#idk i know it's no skin off my nose i'm just like. if you never take any steps towards expressing your desires#how do you think they're going to just happen to you#personal nonsense
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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Not for any particular reason, but chat how would we feel about a uf papyrus / general underfell focused magma on monday? Would that be nice?
#I haven't hosted a drawring thing in a minute#I'd try to hop in now and then#I just kinda wanna try getting into the habit of at least trying to do stuff more#I just always tell myself I can't do stuff like that unless I can put in 100% but like. I never have time for that for other things#idk. maybe also it's just a bad idea lmao#like. why? it's not an anniversary or anything but idk. the idea just popped into my head and it sounded like it could be fun#or not idk!!! sorry I have food poisoning or something so I'm feeling out of sorts#this weeks been really weird in a not so good way. barring like. a couple good things#so ig im just a bit out of it#sunny with clouds#possibly delete later if i become less out of it and decide this is Not a good idea
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//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too
#//ooc#even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!!#I have ideas for softer bits and pieces. sibling stuff. cute things. I will get to it somehow hell or high water o7#T-E purrs!! they can do that!! it's part of their genetic alterations and I want to play with that too as well as the horrors!!#now don't get me wrong either The Horrors are one of my fav things to write but it's chiaroscuro y'know you need the contrast#it can't be a fight for personal autonomy all the time sometimes it needs to be T-E's huge kitty eyes or Helios being a dork#all this might be unnecessary I just get a little self conscious sometimes about how full-grit my writing can be wehh#holding my creatures in my hands. they are capable of such a beautiful joy. it's actually vital that they are#since I'm rambling anyways: huge part of what I want to do with T-E's pre campaign rp is start pulling them out of their shell#they start the planned game still stuck on their rules but it's talking to people that's gonna put them in a place where like#they know there's something else out there. they want it. they feel so much guilt for wanting it but it's the WANTING that's important!!#helios can't do that on his own because he doesn't know either. neither of them know jack about what exists beyond their narrow purview#making a HA clone to me is in part an examination of how miitary as industry will always result in steadily increasing dehumanisation#it's the commodification of a human body to ever increasing heights. soldiers to products to nothing but parts to be scrapped#military as an endless churn less for the sake of any kind of protection and more for the sake of resources. capital. money#it's part of what makes HA so fascinating to me y'know? the way it takes that concept to a far flung conclusion. how bad can it get#the other part is playing someone realising for the first time it's possible to break from what's expected of them#the wonder. the guilt. the disbelief. all of it carefully hidden. it's a huge part of what's so compelling about writing them to me#three huge cornerstones of T-E are: masking - military - the horror of having to exist in a body.#that last one is my taking the weird sensory relationship I have to Flesh/mind and doing horror with it dw too much about that njbkhjv#okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like#there's so MUCH about thirteen/T-E that makes me insane. alas I'm tired and it takes me like 4 hours to write a simple post sobs#anywaysss that's my ramble. I like them#helios too I like him. guy absolutely dead set on finding reasons to smile amidst the Horror
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Am I the only one who find that final scene with Ultima where, after he's absorbed by Clive, we get a small jumpscare(?) with his disembodied head glaring at us for 5 seconds weird?
I mean...
Look at him side-eyeing us in this split second, like we own him money for pay rent, gas, and that fancy dinner we had last year.
Like, what was the purpose of that moment?
Is it a breaking the fourth wall moment and Ultima is giving us, the player, the stink eye for helping Clive defeat him? Or for being members of his wayward creation?
Or both?
#look. there's very few of Ultima fans around here.#Some make great written content. others make great art.#I'm the weirdo who notices frivolous stuff and makes frivolous questions while having weird ideas for possible fan content#ffxvi ultima#ultima ffxvi
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do you think ford would like aye-ayes
cause like. they're weird as fuck but i feel like they'd be more weird to him in the sense that a hawktopus is weird than anything else
#then again he was fine with the barf fairies so what the fuck do i know#man's got some weird standards. 'too stupid to study' 'hated the m dimension' you genuinely studied the abominable bro-man#doctor please what do you mean#i want to say he just doesn't study stuff he thinks is too stupid (like the biological wonder that is the hawktopus but i digress)#but like. what makes all this other stuff not stupid then?#the woodpecker-pecker (and possible woodpecker-pecker-pecker) are interesting because of symbiotic relationships? maybe?#the barf fairies are fairies...i guess...#the abominable bro-man is sentient on at least some level#the beard cubs...steal from people?#the cowl- okay now you're just being ridiculous#i think that was the point. okay. i just got the joke. after several years i finally figured out the funny
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Ohhhh i now remember why i got shy about talking abt ocs
24/7 fear that someone will tell me my ideas are cliche/stupid/bad in some other and it will hurt more bc these are my own creations and not just fun and play
#kurjatxt#i was trying 2 explain some stuff and i was immediately like#:/ does this feel like some kinf of weird hype for ancient mysticism and does that go into promoting the current day false ideas plaguing#people that make them drink unpasturized milk :/#is this too based on my view on magic from my enviroment bc it is based on my personal experience on seeking safety in#nostalgia and playing w the idea of balancing what you get from the past and integrating it into the future vs. just being stuck in the#past vs. the danger of completely rejecting the past told through the lense of smth i loved as a child: fantasy/magic/fairytales :/#and could be alienating and immature and demeaningly simple to other people who grew up in an enviroment already more inclined to#this kind of balance :/#or is me thinking about this demeaning to people bc i should be able to trust them to see what i make as silly ramblings by some random#tumble user just exploring their own experiences through story instead of trying to make some large sweeping statements about#the world and its reality :/#or is it bad of me to be careless about bc of COURSE i should put the upmost care into what i put out into the world and make sure that#everything i make is inclusive and as accessible to as many different types of people to relate to :/#or is that dumb is that limiting to art and am i giving a bad example and furthering the idea of people#havibg to make everything as palatable to everyone as possible JUST in case that nobody gets even slightly hurt or annoyed :/#man being a creator is hard OOPS that is also an evil thing to say being a creator is the luckiest thing you can ever be and ur just beinh#a whiny bitchbaby :/#<-#all that just. a small portion of the overthinking#and yk what it started from?#thr statement '<#in this world magic can be kind of more compared to how modern science is approached'#THAT SENTENC3#I AM SO STRESSED ABOUT#WhY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS!!!! I DONT KNOW!!!#sorry this is prolly the longest tags ive ever put on a post sorry to whoever opened the see more for this#its just. i think tj3 first tim3 ive been able.to expresw the circles my brain does and its kind of therapeutic#maybe i should start writing these circles down more often so i could see how dumb they rly are on paper#instead.of fretting inside my heae
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#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#okay but this made me laugh so hard just because of how much it reminds me of misao JSJSJ LOL because she has had like casual 'flings'-#with people and is an addictive personality as i've talked about here once which includes her being a love junkie + getting into-#relationships with people because she is in love with the IDEA of being in love though falling in love with someone can't just happen-#like magic as it involves a bunch of hormones and stuff but misao kind of somewhat hopes that this person of interest to her will somehow-#complete her life anyhow which... yeah can definitely raise a few problems as people with a love addiction often attract love-#avoidant people because both of these types of people generally have a fear of being abandoned and controlled.#but whenever it comes to love-avoidant individual's they're also emotionally unavailable so 😬#it's unfortunately kinddd of a recipe for an unhealthy relationship that could very well lead to the both of them being in a bad place-#once they break up as misao as a love addict is constantly seeking out new love in particular as a lot of excitement and good feelings-#come with this particular type of love in particular. so yeahhh - i know that this may be a bit of a weird picture to do a meta to but-#SHHH lol i just thought it could possibly relate to her more long-term relationships that she's had with people as misao-#tends to avoid feelings of vulnerability with people as you may all know and so this leads to both her + the other person not really-#knowing what they are BC they haven't really established that deeper connection even though they've been together for a while.#not to say that i'm trying to blame misao for having problems with opening up or anything like that but she has a very disorganized-#attachment style i think and that leads to her often doing this continuous 'push and pull' thing in her romantic/sexual ships#where one moment she will want to be attached to the hip to them but the next she will be cold and distant from them.#so yeahhh. misao is honestly kind of like what i've said barton is before: a cake inside of a cake because i feel like she's got sides of-#herself that she doesn't even know about because she's been scared of being fully emotionally vulnerable with someone for a while now sadly#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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