#--are getting into it and if u stand by marina will push him down a set of inner city prehevil stairs and kill him

[beeapocalypse]

new small idea for the authors moonscorched form. its got smth akin to one of those zip up leather puppy play masks for a face and takes a turn or two struggling to unzip the mouth before really laying on the hurt

[nancypullen]

Moon Dance

Last night was a marvelous night for a moon dance (I love that song!) and because our house is situated in a way that doesn't allow for my favorite past time of moongazing (it breaks my heart) we took a little drive. Winding up, down, and around on narrow country roads, we arrived at the Choptank Marina to watch the Strawberry Moon come up over the water. Lest you think that this was in any way a romantic outing, think again.

I sat on a bench while the mister snapped away. Someday I'll bury him with that camera. I think he'd rather lose a leg than his trusty Sony. My little phone camera could not do justice to that big, beautiful moon, so I'm sharing Mickey's photo.

After plenty of time admiring bella luna, we decided to head home. Since the moon didn't really rise until after 9, it was pushing 10 o'clock when we started the car. The older I get the later that feels. Taking the same winding roads on the way back, Mickey asked if I wanted to stop at a farm stand full of summer squash that I'd noticed on the way in...when there was daylight. I scoffed and said that it was too dark and I'd probably get shot. He assured me that he'd just point the headlights at the stand and I'd be fine. I've seen enough Dateline episodes to know a set up when I see one. Still, the lure of a big bag of yellow squash was too tempting. The stand is on the honor system, so you just put your cash in a metal lock box. Mickey lit me up with the headlights and I got busy stuffing a bag with pretty crooknecks. Our car radio filled the night with 80's tunes and the price list made me feel like it really was the 80's again. Cheap!

With the moon on one side and Mickey on the other, I was center stage. I snapped that pic after hopping back in the car. Beyond the veggie stand there's a field of u-pick flowers, mostly zinnias and sunflowers. You could grab dinner and a centerpiece here! Anywho, this morning after breakfast I cooked up about half the squash.

This is just good ol' southern stewed yellow squash and I love it. All you do is dice up a sweet onion, throw a 1/4 cup of butter into a deep skillet, and sauté the onion with plenty of salt and pepper. When the onion is tender just toss in your squash, clap the lid on, and let it simmer for about twenty minutes. No water necessary, squash is one of those veggies that is mostly water anyway. I had a bowl for lunch and it was delicious. Since the squash is so healthy ( vitamins A, B6, C, as well as potassium, fiber, magnesium, folate, riboflavin, phosphorus, and manganese) we'll just pretend that the butter doesn't count.

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter

2 cups chopped sweet onion

3/4 tsp. kosher salt

3/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

2 lb. yellow squash, sliced 1/4-in. thick (about 7 small) So simple!

My mother-in-law makes really good stewed squash because she takes the time to brown her squash a bit in a skillet first. I'm too lazy for that, though - and my method works just fine. That's what's shaking here on this steamy Saturday night. Mickey is watching the Braves lose to the Yankees and I'm tapping away on my laptop, talking to you. Life in the fast lane. It's not particularly glamorous or romantic, but he's willing to shine his headlights on me while I stuff squash into a bag on a lonely country road - if that's not love I don't know what is. I'm positive that if a shot rang out or if Bigfoot grabbed me he would have immediately floored it to get help. He'd probably write a lovely obituary for me too. No one would be surprised that I died while gathering food. Well, it's that time of night where I can't stand having this bra on for one more minute - so I'll head upstairs for a bath and a book. I'll meet you back here tomorrow to talk more nonsense. Thanks for listening. Sending out plenty of love, hope you feel it. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[ponderinqs]

Pushed Away || JJ Maybank

pairing: jj x reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, underage drinking, angst, gun usage, SLOW BURN!!!

word count: 3.3k

summary: you’re best friends with jj, but something happens one day, leaving you and the rest of the group confused and worried about him. what happened to him? did you do something to hurt him? or maybe, there’s something rather... emotional going on inside him. something he’s never felt for anyone before in his life.

a/n: here’s me apologizing for not posting this WAYYY sooner. listen,, i got huge writers block for a very long time, and i wasn’t feeling up to anything obx. but now that season 2 has come out, and the fact that i’m at the beach right now (approximately 2 hours away from where they film outer banks), i finally have some motivation to write. soooo yeahhhh. hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. also, read the other parts if u haven’t already!

unedited. please excuse any typos :)

comment if you want tagged !! :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

—————————

It’s been about four days since your friends found out about your past. A week since you spoke to any of them.

When you came home that night after seeing Rafe, you and your mother got into a screaming fit over how she needs to stop trying to change you back to who you used to be.

“You don’t get to tell me who I am! I get to choose that!” You yelled, finger pointed at your mother.

“Excuse me?! I am your mother! I can do whatever I need to do to get you to stop turning into someone you’re not!” Now your mother was screaming at you, probably waking the neighbors.

“Life was better when dad was here! Now you’re just a pathetic excuse as a mother!!” You felt regretful for the words that left your mouth, but in the heat of the moment, it felt like the right thing to do.

You felt a hand come across your cheek. “You don’t get to talk to me like that, young lady!”

She left the house shortly after you two fought. Your mother has been gone for a few days, which left you holed up in your room, alone, letting the nasty thoughts fog your brain.

You groaned as you got out of your bed, trudging to the bathroom to see how awful you looked. Your hair was disheveled and you looked like absolute shit. “God…” You whispered, letting your fingers graze your cheek. You winced as you felt a slight sting from the movement. It was still sore, and even if there wasn’t much of a mark anymore, you could still see a slight red tint to it.

You finally decided it was time to leave the house. The sun was beginning to set, but you didn’t want to be holed up in your house for another day. After cleaning up and looking somewhat normal, you walked downstairs and went to open the door, but someone was at the door, just about to knock. It was Pope, looking frantic and scared.

“Y/N! Hi!” He pulled you into a quick hug. “You gotta come quick, there’s something wrong with JJ.” He looked at you, scanning your face for any response, when he saw the slightly reddened cheek mark.

“Who did that?” He spoke softly, his finger touching the mark lightly. “My mother.” You sighed. You didn’t feel like worrying everyone, but it was already happening.

“We can talk about this later, okay? But c'mon, we gotta go.” He nudged his head to his car as the both of you made your way over to the car.

“Is he okay? What’s wrong with him?” You spoke after a few minutes of pure silence while Pope drove. “I really don’t know. He went back home last night and something must’ve happened there. You’re like the only one that can get him to calm down.” He smiled at you as he pulled into the Chateau.

You both got out and walked towards the front, where JJ was seen pacing back and forth, Kiara and John B just watching him. They both saw you and stared, not saying a word.

JJ turned around and saw you, the two of you making eye contact. He stopped pacing, and you saw the sun shine through his beautiful hair, but you also noticed more cuts and bruises scattered around his pretty face.

You approached him with caution, looking into his ocean blue eyes the entire time. The two of you didn’t speak any words, but somehow you still calmed JJ down. You grabbed both of his arms as you looked at his face, examining each and every cut and bruise.

Instead of speaking, you hugged him. You wrapped your arms around his torso tightly, resting your head on his chest. He was hesitant at first, but he also wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his head in your neck.

You felt wetness on your skin, making you hug him even tighter. JJ let out a choked sob, still holding onto you as if you were the only thing keeping him from completely losing it. You stroked his back, your eyes watering as you listened to him cry into you.

“I can’t do it.” He mumbled into your neck in between sobs. Your heart broke for what felt like the hundredth time this week. And again, you couldn’t do anything to help him, which made you feel helpless. All you could do was stand here and hug your best friend, hoping something would make everything stop hurting.

JJ went limp in your arms as the two of you fell to the ground, JJ covering his face with his hands and he continued to cry. “JJ..” You whispered softly, grabbing him and holding him to your chest. You ran your hand through his hair a few times, trying to get him to calm down.

You looked around at the other Pogue members, signaling that they need to give you two a minute. They understood and nodded, walking into the Chateau and closing the door behind them.

After they were gone, you moved JJ away from you as you pulled his hands away from his face. Your foreheads rested against each other’s, the two of you not daring to break eye contact.

His eyes were red and puffy, tears still streaming down his face. He looked at you with his sad eyes as you felt raindrops beginning to fall on the top of your head.

Soon it was beginning to rain even harder, but the two of you just sat outside, staring at each other and not speaking a word. “I can’t deal with him anymore..” JJ’s voice cracked at the end, letting out another choked sob.

You cupped his face with your hands, kissing his forehead lightly. As you pulled his face away, he noticed the faint cheek mark on your face. “Who.. who did that?” He said quietly, his hand coming up to touch it.

Shivers went down your spine as you felt his touch, along with a slight sting. “Shit.” You hissed, looking down at the ground.

“It was your mother, wasn’t it?” He moved his dripping wet hair out of his face, looking into your eyes.

You nodded slowly right as a bolt of lightning cracked in the air. Thunder boomed through the atmosphere within seconds, and the two of you shared the same look. “Let’s go inside, okay?” You grabbed his hand and helped him stand as the two of you went inside.

The three friends looked up at the sound of the door closing, seeing the both of you drenched with your hands still intertwined.

You squeezed his hand, leading him to the extra bedroom. You watched the fragile boy lie down on the bed, turning his back to you.

You turned around and went back out to the rest of your friends. “Um, we’re gonna stay here tonight.” You shuffled your feet.

“Everyone is staying here. The hurricane is coming through right now.” John B sat on one of the couches, finally looking up at you.

You nodded. “He’s gonna be okay, Y/N. Just give him time.” Kiara looked up at you, giving you a slight smile.

You sighed and made your way to the bathroom and grabbed a few towels before you returned to the extra room, seeing JJ in the same position that he was in when you left him.

“Hey, I got some towels so we can dry off.” You got onto the bed and set the towels in front of you. JJ turned around and sat up, grabbing a towel and drying off his hair.

“Do you have extra clothes here?” You asked, and JJ just simply nodded, pointing to the worn down dresser across from the bed. You stood up and walked over, opening it and finding some random clothes for you and JJ.

You tossed JJ a random marina shirt, and a pair of shorts. You found a blue shirt and some sweats, and put them onto the bed. “Well, close your eyes.” You grinned at him, and JJ smirked before covering his eyes with his hand.

You stripped from your wet shirt and tossed it to the corner of the room, making a note to wash it tomorrow. When you looked at JJ, he was peeking out of his hand. “Maybank!!” You giggled as you hurriedly put the shirt on.

“Well, I like the view.” He commented, making the heat rise up to your cheeks. You shook your head and pulled off the drenched pants you had on, rushing to put on the sweatpants.

“Keep em off.” He smirked, his hands now completely away from his eyes. “Oh, shut up.” You finished changing and got into bed, JJ now getting up and changing. “Do I need to close my eyes?” You spoke as if you were a little child.

“That’s up to you.” He smirked again. You decided not to as you watched him slowly peel his wet shirt off of his body.

Without realizing it, you were biting your lip and staring at his defined torso. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” JJ laughed, pulling the dry shirt onto him and then taking off his drenched shorts.

Seeing JJ in his boxers was something you never thought you would witness, but I guess it had to happen sometime, right? He slid on his shorts and got back into bed.

Rain pattered against the window, along with the occasional lightning strikes and thunder. The two of you sat in the darkness for what felt like hours.

“Why did your mother slap you?” JJ spoke, the air thick with something you couldn’t quite explain.

“I called her a pathetic excuse for a mother. So she slapped me. Then she left.” You turned to face JJ, your faces inches away from each other.

“Why didn’t you come to see us? You were gone for a long time, or at least a long to the three of us. We were all scared and confused.” JJ’s hand moved to rest on your cheek, staring at you. Even in total darkness, he could make out your features.

“I didn’t want to. I thought you guys hated me.” You relaxed into his touch, sighing.

“We don’t hate you, Y/N. We are all just a little disappointed that you never told us.” He moved a piece of your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

The tension was thick, and it scared you. You’ve never been this vulnerable to each other. JJ never let his guard down, and neither did you. The time you shared outside was something that has never happened before.

“Do you feel better?” You spoke softly, wondering if that was the right thing to say. You didn’t know if you were overstepping any boundaries the two of you had. A lightning bolt lit up the sky, followed by a large boom of thunder as JJ began to talk.

“Yeah.. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” He shrugged it off and pulled the thin blanket up to his chest. You gave him a confused look. “JJ, I will always worry about you. That’s what friends do. We always look after each other and make sure the other one is okay.” You scooted yourself closer to him. You felt him shiver as your arm grazed his.

“Just don’t bother worrying about me, okay? I’ll survive.” His finger reached up to his face to touch the multiple cuts and bruises on his face. You heard him wince as the wind picked up outside.

Rain began rapidly pattering against the window, wind shaking the trees and scraping up against the side of the shack.

“JJ look.. I’m sorry for going full ghost on you guys for that long. I should’ve let you all know that I was okay.” You whispered, your hand resting on his shoulder as you laid your side to look at him.

“Nah I get it. I do it too.” JJ shrugged. You stared into his blue eyes, trying to figure out what was going on inside of that beautiful brain of his. He was too focused on the storm outside to realize that you were staring at him. When he finally made eye contact with you, your heart seemed to have skipped a beat.

“What?” He asked, his voice soft and caring. “Nothing.” You mumbled and laid down, getting comfortable with your pillow and the blanket you were currently sharing with JJ.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” JJ said before he turned on his side and tried to fall asleep. You were facing his back, your eyes glued to him. Slowly but surely your eyes closed and you both fell asleep to the sound of the wind and rain outside.

-

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you felt a heavy weight on your chest. Looking down, you saw JJ sleeping on you, his hand draped across your stomach with soft snores emitting from his mouth. You smiled and brushed some hair out of his face. You inspected his small cuts and bruises on his face, your index finger grazing each and every one of them.

Soon JJ’s eyes peeled open and he looked up at you. “What are you doing?” He mumbled, his eyes darting to your lips and then back up to your eyes.

“Oh, nothing. Good morning.” You replied, moving your finger away from his face. JJ rolled himself off of you and got out of bed, mumbling a ‘good morning’ before he exited the room and went to find the others. You followed him shortly after, finding no one in the living room.

“Uh.. guys?” JJ questioned, walking around the small boat house as he tried to find his friends. You then spotted John B outside, along with Kiara and Pope. “JJ, they’re outside.” You spoke before walking outside.

You looked around at the damage the hurricane had caused. Branches and twigs were scattered around the yard, along with a lot of random debris covering most of the grass. “Holy shit. She really did a number.” JJ admitted, walking around the yard, stepping on some twigs and picking random stuff up.

“Yeah, no kidding.” John B replied, his hands on his hips as he looked around at all the damage.

Surprisingly, the Chateau didn’t take much damage. You had noticed a bucket sitting on the floor earlier, so there must be a leak. Other than that, there wasn’t much else that needed repairing.

Suddenly, your phone in your pocket started to ring. Grabbing it, you saw the caller ID and it showed that it was your mom. “You have to be kidding me.” You muttered under your breath.

Catching your friends’ attention, they all turned to look at you. “Your mom?” Pope asked, wincing to himself once you nodded.

You answered the call and put your phone up to your ear. “Y/F/N Y/L/N, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?!” She screamed through the phone.

“What do you mean?” You kept your voice calm and controlled, because you knew if you raised your voice this phone call would be a lot worse than it already is.

“Leaving the house when I’m not there?! Doing god knows what with those low life’s?!” Your mom responded through the phone, her voice getting increasingly louder by the second.

“First of all, you left me!! What the hell was I supposed to do holed up in that house?! And I have told you this time and time again, they are not low lifes!” You retaliated back, making sure that your mom knew that she was in the wrong.

“That’s what you think.” She responded flatly. You just scoffed. “You make me sick, mom. You really do.” You responded, beginning to walk around in circles.

“You need to come back home. I mean it.” Your mom responded sternly. She could do anything, but nothing would tear you away from your real family.

“No. I am not coming back home for a while.” You shook your head, making eye contact with Kie.

“Excuse me? Yes you are. I will send the cops after you if I have to.” She responded, now raising her voice yet again.

“I cannot believe how disrespectful you are right now, mom. No, I am not coming home. You have given me so many reasons to not come home. I am going to stay here where I am more loved. Fuck off.” You yelled and ended the call, not caring about what she had to respond with.

“God, Y/N, I am so sorry you have to deal with her. That’s horrible.” Kiara walked up to you and gave you a hug. You hugged her back, resting your head on her shoulder.

The rest of the Pogues soon surrounded you and hugged you. You smiled as everyone hugged you.

-

About 30 minutes later, everyone was standing around a large fire that had started to burn all the twigs and branches scattered across the yard, when a Range Rover pulled up next to John B’s van.

You were not surprised when you saw Rafe get out of the car. “Oh hell no..” John B scoffed, walking over to Rafe.

“John B.. John B. Relax. I’m just here for Y/N.” Rafe smirked as he looked over at you, holding his hand out to stop John B.

“Rafe. Get out of here.” You told him, staying near JJ just in case he tries to do something.

“I got you, I got you.” JJ whispered in your ear, placing his hands on your hips as he held you close.

“It was your mom again.” Rafe’s voice got louder as he started to walk closer to you.

“I don’t care about her. Now leave.” Your heartbeat began to rise as he got closer and closer.

“Nah, I don’t think I will do that.” Rafe was now four feet in front of you.

“Hey, buddy, back it up!!” JJ yelled, staring at Rafe to make sure he doesn’t make any sudden movements.

“Aw look, you have a bodyguard. How adorable. You know, Y/N, me and you had history. I used to be your bodyguard. Isn’t that right?” Rafe smirked at you.

Before anyone could react, Rafe grabbed you by the arm and pulled you towards him. He held you close to his back, his arm locked across your chest.

“You dickhead!” JJ screamed and ran over to grab you.

Suddenly, Rafe pulled out a gun, causing everyone to stop in their tracks.

He clocked the gun at you, the barrel sitting right on your head. You gasped, tears trickling down your face.

“Tell them, Y/N. Tell them what we were.” Rafe said, smirking as he looked around at the group.

“Put down the gun and I will!!” You yelled, only causing Rafe to push the gun onto your head more. You let out a yell.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think you just better tell them now.” Rafe looked down at you, smirking.

“Me and Rafe,” you sniffled, looking down at the ground. “we had.. history. More than what I have told you. We… we dated.” You let out a choked sob.

Rafe slowly moved the gun away from your head. “See? Wasn’t so hard, was it?” He grinned, stilling holding you close to his body.

All of the Pogues looked at you in disbelief. You couldn’t even find it in you to look at JJ.

“Cmon, Y/N. Let’s go.” Rafe gave your friends a little wave before he walked over to his car with you and shoved you into the passenger seat.

You were unable to fight him. You gave up, just staring at the floor of the car.

As Rafe started the car up, your friends started to run after you. Rafe quickly backed up out of his spot and peeled away. The last thing you saw out of the passenger side window was JJ, looking scared and very upset.

[newobsessionweekly]

You are my drug🌿

@isthatmaryanna: hi!!! could u make another ander imagine?  where ander realizes he as feelings for the female reader when she starts going out like crazy and making out with a random guy every night at the disco and one day she gets very drunk and starts to argue with ander and he says that he’s disappointed because she started to act like a slut  and she tells him that is all of his fault because she fell in love with him and he doesn’t even care about her and then they share their first kiss

a/n: there it is! I hope you like it! Thank you for this idea and for your patience! Enjoy and stay safe!🌿❤️

Sorry for the eventual grammar errors.

word count: 1.623

warnings: drugs

Ander Muñoz x Reader 🌿

Marina’s death hasn’t affected only Guzmán, it affected every single one of you, but he’s te only one who is brave enough to show his emotions. You were a hunded percent sure Nano is innocent, he and Samu are your friends, but nothing seemed to make sense lately. You were convinced some people from your group are covering the real murderer. 

The pain never goes away, your shared room with her became a museum. All of her stuff was there, untouched, like they are waiting for her to come back and brush her hair again in the mirror, to write the homework together on the shared desk in front of the window and watch together your favourite tv show in the bed, laughing together and fighting with pillows when one of you were too conceited to admit that the other one was right.  There are so many emotions and thoughts, you felt like it’s too much. You and Guzmán are always there for each other, you were there when the anger and pain exploded inside him and he was there every night when all those emotions flooded from your body. And since then you brought a small bed and all of your stuff into Guzmán’s room. 

Despite the fact that the last summer was the worst, you preferred to be alone, to let your thoughts consume you and let that pain fade away on its own. Lu was there for you, but Guzmán needed her more. Thought you’ve been through hell and felt like the world stopped, it hasn’t and you now have somehow to re-enter into the normal life. As the car stopped in front of the school, you put on your black glasses and your brother took your hand, drawing your attention to him. He is as broken as you are. He is changed, his smile is not as bright as he used to be and his eyes are lifeless. It feels like you also died in the same day Marina died.

“Together.” he forced a smile and walked hand in hand through the crowd who was watching you. 

As you entered the class, everyone turned their heads for a moment, analyzing both of you from head to toes then came back to their business. Beside the usual group was standing a tall boy with a black curled head, wearing the Las Encinas’ uniform in his own style, with no buttoned up shirt and his tie hanging around his neck. You smiled as the boy turned and realised it is Valerio. An old friend, definetely the life of the party and a sweet and true person. Lu came and hugged you, followed closely by the rest of the group. The hug you nedded the most in that moment was Ander’s, the curly headed boy you’ve known since forever. Is one of the best friends of Guzmán’s and was around long enough to fall in love with his kindness, his pure heart and his terrible joks. He’s the perfect boy you’ve ever met and the only one you wished to be there through the hard time. You nedded him to pat your shoulder, not Guzmán’s and to tell you he’s there for you, not for Guzmán. But you came to terms a long time ago, for him you are just Guzmán’s sister. 

“Hey darling, how are you?” Lu sat down next to you and placed her hand on yours.

“Better.” you half-smiled and pointed with your head towards the boy waiting behind her. Apparentely Valerio wants to sit next to you. She fermly waved her hand and made him back up.

“You are lying to me. Or do you want to keep this to yourself, too? As you’ve done all summer.” she wouldn’t withdraw.

“I just need him, you know?” you avoided her look. “I want him to care about me, to be there for me as you’ve been those years there for Guzmán.”

“But he cares about you, love. He asked about you all summer. He just doesn’t know how to show his emotions.”

“Why is it hard for me to believe you?”

“Because those ugly sunglasses you are wearing blinded you.” she rolled her eyes and retake her seat next to Guzmán.

---------

 The club was exactly as you remembered: loud, full of people and colorful. Going through high school without your best friend is hard and Ander not being around as you wished made you angrier than ever. Is maybe the fourth night in a row you’ve been partying, drinking and dancing to some randome guys. Valerio was around, spending too much time with Guzmán. He’s a great person, but he’s also involved into some nasty drug thing and Guzmán may be tempted to try anything that can make him escape from the pain.   

You had some Mojitos and helped Lu finish a champagne bottle when you saw your brother coming out from the toilet area with Nadia. She was as well concerned about Guzmán and didn’t find any good thing in this sudden friendship between Valerio and Guzmán, so she assured you she would try and keep an eye on him.

In your rush, accidentaly bumped into Ander. You tried to cover the music apologising, but you weren’t sure he heard you. Valerio was about to exit the toilets, but you pushed him back, Ander’s eyes troubling following both of you.

“What is that thing you have there?” you rushed him.

“What, this?” he pulled out a small bag filled with some white powder. “This is Big C.” 

“What?” you frowned.

He looked at you over his sunglasses, “Coke. Cocaine.” 

“How muchis it?” you bit your bottom lip as you searched for your money. 

“For friends in need, it’s free.” you nodded and he understood what you want. Just one time, no big deal, you thought. You were more worried for Guzmán and maybe his reaction if he would find out, that is why you were so stirred. “Like this.” he made a demonstration for you after he arranged the drug into some white tiny lines.  -----  You’ve been screaming and dancing with Valerio almost all night. You didn’t felt anything less than happiness, freedom and understanding. Valerio understands you, he knows how it is feels to be unloved, he feels your pain because he had been a good friend with Marina as well. After another drink, and after Valerio caught your attention about not mixing coke with too much alcohol, you got the guts and closed the distance between you and him. You were kissing in the middle of the dancefloor with his hands exploring your body. Ander loathingly sighed and made Guzmán look at him with curiosity. Lu saw that too and approached Ander, placing her hand on his shoulder. He had his jaw clenched and that was the moment he understood those fellings. He finally understood why he felt his heart going up in his throath everytime he sees you. He understood those sweaty palms and the stomach ache everytime he spoke to you. He finally figured out why he was acting so strange around you and why he couldn’t comfort you when you needed the most. Marina’s death affected him too, he changed too, but you had changed more than he tought and he didn’t like that view. “What the fuck is she doing?” Guzmán tried to come closer, but Ander stopped him.  “Let me go talk to her.” he asked for his permission.

 As Guzmán nodded, he approached and grabbed your arm, draggin you away from the dancefloor, towards some quiet place. Your eyes were red and a strange smile was painted on your face.  “What the fuck do you want? You ruined my moment, I was having a good timeeeee!” you were delirious now.

“I ruined your moment? I’m sorry I’m concerned and I don’t want you to ruin your life!” You laughed, “I’m just living my life!” “(y/n), you don’t get drunk and you don’t made out with some random guy! That’s not a good way to grieve Marina and you know that. I’m disappointed at you. You lately started acting like a slut, and that’s not (y/n) I wanna be friend with.” “Yeah? Just so you know, this is all your fault! You let me fall in love with you, you pretended to be kind and caring with me, but now I realised I’m not good enough for you to even care about me!” You hindered trying to enlarge the distance between you and Ander. “I needed you to save me from my thoughts, because you are the only one who can do that, but you let me sink! Valerio understands me, he knows how it is to love someone that doesn’t love me back!” there are tears running down your face and you couldn’t see clearly your brother’s face. You could assume only how disappointed he is. “Why haven’t you told me that before?” he cupped your cheeks with his warm hands and softly smiled at you. “Why would I do that?” you wipped away your tears. “Because you would prevent this things to happen. I would have been there for you, I would have told you how much I love you and you woulnd’t have to take that shit!” he took that little bag with white powder and threw it away.  “Now, let me kiss you because I’ve been dying to taste your lips for far too long.” And he did it. He sealed your lips with his while grabbing your waist, trying to pull you as close as possible. This one can’t even be compared with that kisses you had earlier with all those guys. His lips just fit perfectely like they are made just for you.

[sailing-elitsha]

Hallelujah

Thinking about a header for this report I am struggling, it’s from boring because of no wind from all directions in the doldrums, over: exited to come closer to the Amazon river, over: we saw Neptune, over: not being sure if we can do this up to total exhaustion. We have been so tired that we could not even show excitement and joy anymore by our safe arrival in Paramaribo, after a very difficult 11 days stretch.  Let me first write everything down and see which heading we will choose.

Very quiet Dick said, “I saw you praying with your hands folded.” “Yes, I did that.” Whoever up in heaven, the universe or wherever feels I could have meant him or her: Thank you. Dick agreed.

Towards the end of this stretch, we could not think straight anymore, did not sleep because of the funny moves, Elitsha made, encouraged by Jip and Janneke, and the waves. Sometimes we really heeled onto our side after sliding down steep waves or swell. Realistically and objectively, there was no real danger, but at times it felt differently. Elitsha did a great job.  And let’s be honest, while in a force 8, in gusts 45 knots on our wind vane at sea with a currant of 3,5 knots, 12 knots showing on our log, knowing shore was close even though you do not see a thing and to sail in a river mouth with low tide, you make one wrong move……… everything can happen. But we did not make a wrong move. Dick knows what he is doing, and I am not too bad a sailor too.  Most importantly: when I was losing it and panicked there was Dick for me and when Dick was tired and miserable, I was there for him: Interesting self-studies of a relationship therapist, I am telling you. Do not do this if you don’t have a good relationship. But if you have good relationship, this is so special and amazing to go through together.

And… perhaps or most probably, this is normal and not a big thing for cruisers on an ocean crossing, but for us as beginning cruisers, it was a big thing. The challenge was, that for the last 4 days we hardly found a longer stretch of sleep than 1 or 2 hours and that breaks you at the end. That was, I think, the reason why we were desperate to arrive and stay somewhere for a while.  

But let’s start at the beginning:

We started relaxed after leaving Fernado de Norunha. Although, sailing without wind is never relaxing. You are looking for wind all the times, changing your sails and finally if you can’t stand the slapping of the beams and sails anymore you start the motor and you get annoyed by the noise of he motor and the fact that you are a sailing boat and not sailing……all of those things. Fortaleza just didn’t want to come closer, and Suriname seemed unreachable far for us. The promise was that we at least will find the strong current which would push us along from Fortaleza to the Amazon delta and Suriname.

On the 8th of Mai at 2.23pm Brasilia time we saw Neptune and served him an Oude Jenever. He seemed to like it. We originally wanted to go and swim with Neptune but just at that time Neptune on his turn treated us with some wind and we made 7 knots: 3 of them from the current. But in the doldrums, you are happy with everything what moves you along. Anyway, he (Neptune) had to do it with the Jenever, and we kept on sailing.

Just before the Amazon river at the end of day 6 of 11 it started blowing. Yeah!!!!!!!! 180 miles a day and no motor anymore. That’s great. Forecast: 12-15 knots with gusts of 20 knot. Lovely!!!!! From late afternoon of day 7 the constant wind was 32 and the gusts up to 40, RAIN and it started with a close-by lightening flash and a thunder clap. And that carried on till close to Paramaribo. The funniest: Nothing of all was forecasted on the Iridium weather report: as I said: ENE wind 12 – 15 knots, gusts of 20 knots and some possible thundershowers, but in our case they were not gusts any more, but constant hard wind 30 knots plus for 3-4 days in a row. The Amazon, even we passed him on a big respectable distance, and later the Suriname river brought trees down to the sea. You had to have your eyes everywhere. A whale, a humpback, close to the Amazon, just next to Elitsha, I saw him thinking: you are here and not in Africa? (we see whales in Hout Bay on a regular base), that close he was. For weeks we didn’t see more than a handful ships. They were huge, okay, but we saw them on AIS far before we could see them in real. Now there were lots of fisher boats around who didn’t feel like using AIS (they don’t want to be seen by their colleagues), tankers from Venezuela who switch on AIS only last minute, and this all at night, without moon and stars assisting…...and then………..always this “gale wind”, waves and massive swell.  Another thing made us nervous: the “shallow” water.  After having sailed for month now in blue water, REALLY blue water of 4 000, 5 000 meters deep, we suddenly sailed up the plateau of the South American Continent: only 200 meters of depth. You should think: That’s deep enough, Sylke. Yes, but it’s just what you are used to, right?! And we were used to 4000 to 5000 meters. The water was green, closer to Suriname, when we had no more than 20 meters it was yellowish. The Amazonas brought trees with big branches and fields of green-brownish weed, leaves…. and always the strong wind, the rain and thundershowers and you can’t step out of this train or leave the movie……you have to hang in there. This paired with not sleeping and being exhausted and Navionics giving us problems at this very moment, we saw the lights of French Guyana as the lights of Suriname (same character) and panicked that we would have passed Paramaribo already. After having struck sails and heading Elitsha into the wind, to check out if we are right or wrong, we finally followed our way towards Suriname with only the Genua, which was still fast enough. Holger, one of our shore captains confirmed, that we have the entrance of the Suriname river 20 mile ahead and not behind us. Ufff, what a relief. We still didn’t see land………. only 60, 50, 40, 30 foot of water under Elitsha, no entrance buoy in sight…….  Via radio we got in touch with  MAS ( Suriname Harbour authorities). Anneke, our other shore captain, had arrange contact and allowance with them already. In times of Corona regulations this is essential. You can’t just go to a harbour. Everything has to be pre-arranged. When we called MAS, to ask if we were somewhere close to the entrance buoy of the river mouth, a deep voice in Dutch with a heavy Surinam’s accent answered: “ik zie jullie on AIS.” YES!!!!!!!!!!! Eventually, we saw not the entrance buoy, but the first green buoy and shared this” achievement” with him. His dry and short reaction: “Mevrouw, u bent op de goede weg!!!!!” (“Lady, you are on the right way”). Not more and not less, but it was like music to our ears. It was low tide and our echo sounder told us, 20, 10 and then 9,60 foot. Elitsha needs at least 5,50 foot of water to float. We motor sailed (to be more controllable). Still 30 knots of wind, rain, and buoys not visible all the time. On the river we almost got stuck twice in the mud: 6 foot on the depth sounder. We were blessed to have sailed for years on the Dutch Waddenzee. This was very similar. The only difference: ELITSHA is not a flatbottom with leeboards.  It looked exactly like you sail from the Stortemelk into the Schuitegat towards Terschelling with low tide and it felt exactly like that.

I could tell you more about my fear of sailing over the many wrecks alongside of the coast, our chart showed us and Dick’s fear of hitting ground in the bottom of the waves (that’s why he looked for more shallow water without swell and waves), about comforting and encouraging each other that we will make it, that the fishermen would look out, that 30 - 40 knots of wind is actually not that bad and we are not in real danger but that we just needed some sleep and rest, after 2 antibiotic courses and, and………  And then we just arrived……just like that!!!! We picked a mooring buoy, made the dingy ready to go and went ashore. I did not eat for 4 days, actually ate the other way round (if you know what I mean). In the bar of the Marina, where everybody welcomed us, we ate and drank because we felt, we must celebrate. But the feeling was not there like in St Helena and Fernando. We went back to our brave ELITSHA and slept like we got paid for it. The next day we celebrated full time. We ate the whole day, talked to everybody who came across. We did 5 washes in the Marinas washing machine, had I don’t know how many showers and Elitsha got a very good clean up: you don’t want to know how it looked like inside her: flour everywhere, everything everywhere and because of the salt water everything was sticky, wet and just ick.

Now we have a fruit bowl and candles on the table, new sheets on our beds, nothing moves, and we can just move without getting thrown into one of the corners of the ship, fall of the toilet and stuff like that. Okay its rainy season and if it rains, it REALY RAINS, buckets of water coming down, but that is not such a problem: cleans the boat and fills the water tank. A bar with nice music and good food where you meet nice and friendly people, a shower, free internet: that is what we were craving for.  We are on the Suriname river in Domburg, close to Paramaribo. We hear the howler monkeys on the other side of the river, where it’s already  pure jungle. I am telling you, it’s REAL heaven.

I remember from the old days of sailing in Holland: the feeling of arriving after a tough stretch in bad weather and under poor conditions is unbeatable. Leaving under difficult condition makes you nervous, hanging in it, you just do what you must do, and arriving is heaven.

Wednesday we will go for the stamp in our passports and on Friday we will sail with ELITSHA  70 miles down the river to meet caiman, anaconda, howler monkey and jaguar in the real jungle. No Sonny and Crocked anymore, Dick as Tanzan and I will be Jane.

………to be continued.

[havocmadden]

S I D E  A  —  P R I N C E S S E S  D O N ’ T  C R Y                       L I S T E N  H E R E

                                                                                      S I D E  B  —  Q U E E N  O F  M E A N                                                                                                       L I S T E N  H E R E

princesses don't cry — aviva ❝ cause a princess doesn't cry / a princess doesn't cry / over monsters in the night / don't waste our precious time / on boys with pretty eyes / a princess doesn't cry / a princess doesn't cry / burning like a fire / you feel it all the time / but wipe your teary eyes. ❞

                                                                                                                   the garden — mirah                                                                               ❝ oh oh i really wanted that thing / i just want                                                                                    to sing / ‘i love you baby / won't you bring                                                                                  / all the flowers you / find out in the garden                                                                                 / don't tell me the truth / that your heart has                                                                              hardened’ / but you don't want me anymore /                                                                            how can it be / look what you've done to me. ❞

prom queen — molly kate kestner ❝ god save the prom queen / teenage daydream / just another dressed up heartbreak / god save the prom queen / only eighteen / turned her tears to diamonds in her crown. ❞

                                                                           you should see me in a crown — billie eilish                                                                                ❝ you should see me in a crown / i'm gonna                                                                                 run this nothing town / watch me make 'em                                                                                  bow / one by one by one / one by one by /                                                                            you should see me in a crown / your silence is                                                                             my favorite sound / watch me make 'em bow /                                                                             one by one by one / one by one by / count my                                                                        cards, watch them fall / blood on a marble wall / i                                                                           like the way they all scream / tell me which one                                                                                                     is worse / living or dying first. ❞

hey little girl — sophiemarie.b ❝ i want you to feel bad when you go to sleep / i hope you're sad when you remember me / and feel bad for all you did to me / i hope you lie there in your misery / hey little girl you'll never believe / there's a ghost inside of you / but it's hidden too deep / hey little girl you'll never imagine / when you get a little older / you'll get abandoned / hey little girl you know smoking kills / you don't really care / 'cause you love how it feels / hey little girl you're falling apart / you don't really care /  'cause they broke your heart. ❞

                                                                                                                   queen — loren gray                                                                       ❝ you can call me a princess all you like /  'cause                                                                         you love to keep me helpless by your side / but                                                                        that ain't what i want, i'ma show you / i'ma show                                                              you how to treat me like a queen / boy, you better bow                                                                down on your knees / can i get a ‘yes, your majesty’?                                                                / so treat me like a queen / boy, you better bow down                                                                       on your knees / can i get a ‘yes, your majesty’? ❞

starring role — marina and the diamonds ❝ you don't love me / big fucking deal / i'll never tell you how i feel / you don't love me / not a big deal / i'll never tell you how i feel / it almost feels like a joke to play out a part / when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart / you know i'd rather walk alone / than play a supporting role / if i can't get the starring role. ❞

                                                                                                                       savage — bahari                                                                          ❝ when you touch me you take me to heaven /                                                                 when you hold me my body's a weapon / if you think                                                                 that you can save me, break me down, and tame me                                                                   / here's your chance to do some damage / savage. ❞

i want it all — natalie taylor ❝ i wanted beautiful things / diamond rings, diamonds rings / i get what i want / i live just to get what i want / i want it all. ❞

                                                                                                                           grrls — aviva                                                                         ❝ blameless i'll shatter through the glare / make                                                                        it, take it, they won't share / i can't fake it, i'll just                                                                          make it on my own / i can't blame them, i'll just                                                                          maim them on my throne / i can't fake it, i'll just                                                                       make it on my own / i can't blame them, i just got                                                                        to get to my throne / i am the latest colors, i sing                                                                   the newest songs / i read all the lyrics, so i can sing                                                               along / i am the latest colors, i stand above my throne                                                                               / waiting for an invite to never come along. ❞

white horse — taylor swift ❝ stupid girl / i should have known / i should have known / that i'm not a princess / this ain't a fairy tale / i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet / lead her up the stairwell / this ain't hollywood / this is a small town / i was a dreamer before you went and let me down / now it's too late for you / and your white horse to come around. ❞

                                                                                                            angry too — lola blanc                                                                   ❝ i don't wanna be controlled by the past / boy if you                                                                 were me could you really blame me? / would it make                                                                 you crazy / cause another and another coming up out                                                                  of the gutter / till i'm drowning in an ocean of entitled                                                                   motherfuckers / and they're pushing all my buttons /                                                         but they never seem to wonder why / another and another                                                                  ask each other / does it get your blood boiling / does                                                                 it make you see red? / do you wanna destroy it / does                                                              it get in your head? / cause it gets my blood boiling and                                                       i'm coming unglued / it would hit you like poison if you knew                                                         what i knew / you would be angry too / calm down girl why                                                             you so mad? / why's your heart gone / oh good girl why                                                            you upset? / guess they have forgotten what they did. ❞

dear society — madison beer ❝ diets that i shouldn't try / it feels like social suicide / and honestly, it's cyanide, i'm 'bout to die / been 21 since 17, thanks to all the magazines / man, sometimes, i just wanna scream and break my screen / i'm a natural disaster / but even after all that i do / it's you who's gonna be the death of me / and none of this matters / baby, it's you, it's you / you're bad for my health / i should probably get some help / i can't control myself / i'm addicted to the hell / my heart is getting sick from the tar that's on your lips / yeah, you're bad for my health / you should hurt somebody else. ❞

                                                                                           i did something bad — taylor swift                                                       ❝ i can feel the flames on my skin / crimson red paint on my                                                     lips / if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing / i don't regret                                                       it one bit 'cause he had it coming / they say i did something                                                 bad / then why's it feel so good? / they say i did something bad                                                   / but why's it feel so good? / most fun i ever had / and i'd do it                                                      over and over and over again if i could / it just felt so good. ❞

last night’s mascara — brynn cartelli ❝ that dude i was kissing / nah, he didn't love me / he was on every varsity team / i need a little attention just to forget you / even though tomorrow no one will remember a thing but now / now i still don't understand how / i've got last night's mascara still on my face / i kinda knew that there'd be trouble / but i did it anyway / i swear i used to be innocent / you held my hand / i don't remember how i got here / i don't remember what i said / but i've got last night's mascara / last night's mascara / yeah, i still got last night's mascara on somehow. ❞

                                                                                       villians, part one — emma blackery                                                         ❝ but my body is bored of being torn apart / and i've done                                                               this to myself / so if you're thinking of stealing the last                                                       love i have / then you're thinking of stealing somebody else                                                    / turn the lights down low / if this is how i go / i'll tell them that                                                     the villains on my list / they're what turned me into this / so i'll                                                     go / i'm better off alone / run and tell them that the villains on                                                                    my list / they're the reason i've been pulled so low. ❞

homecoming queen — kelsey ballerini ❝ been so good at smiling / most of your life / look damn good in the dress / zipping up the mess / dancing with your best foot forward / does it get hard to have to play the part? / nobody's feeling sorry for ya / but what if i told you the world wouldn't end / if you started showing what's under your skin / what if you let 'em all in on the lie? / even the homecoming queen cries. ❞

                                                                                                                        castle — halsey                                                         ❝ i'm headed straight for the castle / they wanna make me                                                        their queen / and there's an old man sitting on the throne /                                                  that's saying that i probably shouldn't be so mean / i'm headed                                                 straight for the castle / they've got the kingdom locked up / and                                                  there's an old man sitting on the throne  / that's saying i should                                                    probably keep my pretty mouth shut / straight for the castle. ❞

little girl — faith marie ❝ take a walk, clear your head, breath in, count to ten / cause on the first page of life written in red / you'll never make it here if you don't learn how to bend / don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl / someday you will find your place in the world / but ladies don't get dirty / someday you'll learn to fill the empty space with empty faith. ❞

                                                                                            burn the witch — emma blackery                                                               ❝ i'm a liar, i'm a bitch / and you and i have unfinished                                                               business / narcissistic hypocrite / and i'm petty as hell                                                 but at least i admit it / blow my phone up, say i'm crazy / i know                                                 know what you've called me lately / it's time to burn the witch. ❞

princess — fletcher ❝ we've all been told when we were little / we could grow up and live a fairy tale / but no one ever bothered telling us that / the storybook ending never started out well / why's there always gotta be a hero? / what if cinderella had to save herself? / it's not like we don't need a little help / but maybe it's a good thing to go through a little hell. ❞

                                                                                                            don’t make me — melinda                                                              ❝ never was built to be this way / but turns out the villain                                                            is fun to play / your hollywood romance, extra and sappy,                                                          but / spoiler alert: the ending ain't happy / eggshells crack                                                           beneath your feet / the ugly truth is bittersweet / so dress                                                              it up in fancy clothes / but we both know how this goes                                                                                                  / don't make me be the bad guy. ❞

[plushievash]

how did leo/alexei happen? give us lore!

so for a long while they both had crushes on each other but alexei is stupid and leo suffered from internalized homophobia believing hes not meant for relationships no matter how much he wanted one with someone he would never pursue it bc he thought he would be a burden/nobody sees him that way/he is repulsive;; alexei just admired leo too much and thought leo was out of his league and that hed never love someone like him and also bc hes alexei and is just like * has severe paranoia and also no social skills *

dasha saw the Signs™ tho bc hes like love is in the air….and i will find out where its coming from and then. he suffered watching these 2 dumbasses for 2 almost 3 years dance around each other and their feelings while nobody else believed him that hey…..looks like somethins goin on between alexei and leo…u ever notice how leo takes any chance to touch him? u ever notice the way alexei immediately becomes more interactive when leo comes along? yes i know leo is clingy yes i know alexei is improving socially just like. Look its Right in Front of You.

but anyways went like that for the longest time where both of them kind of planned to make their feelings known but could never work up the courage to follow through with it. and alexei got with lucien to try to forget abt leo bc he “knew” he ‘had no chance’ and leo just [roblox OOF] and as usual * focuses on work at a dangerous level and does stupid stuff *

which ends up with a mix up and confusion where leo is missing and puts everyone in a panic and miko catches a guy named nikostratos and ooh ooough oh hes so mad hes so ohguh hes so angry that hes mad. and without thinking and following standard procedure does some things and is 8D to find out uh oh! just gave my brother the familys awful itchy scratchy disease! fuck! time to go kms i guess!

and masha is big mad at everyone so shes just like leo and miko are banned from work and if they even attempt it they wont bc theyd cross me and nobody crosses me. and then alexei is put on watch to make sure leo doesnt try to sneak away and work on his own anyways and to nobodys surprise, he does try. instead of sending one of his people alexei personally confronts him and persuades him to go back home. to which leo asks alexei to stay with him and he does…slowly leo starts to ease up again as alexei stays with him and basically lives with him/stella/the twins for a short while as hes stationed to by masha

eventually after a while of watching both miko and leo masha is satisfied enough with their recoveries and allows them back to their jobs calling alexei off since they no longer need to be supervised. but alexei again * is extremely paranoid and well meaning but also awful * so he keeps his people watching leo from a distance just to be sure hes safe; as he does with maxim and miko (the only difference is that maxim and miko Know he does that and asked him to do that; leo didnt.) oh yeah somewhere sprinkled in around that time alexei split with lucien cause he just. wasnt happy it wasnt working. i dont remember where exactly in all this mess it happened LMAO u might wanna ask my boyed friend abt that since alexei is his

so anyways after a while of being back to work leo notices hes still being followed and slowly gets paranoid and irritable. he ends up doing rash things that could end up getting him killed just to get the attention of the people following him to see if hes “just being paranoid” or if hes really being followed still despite masha allowing him to return to work. eventually after the 3rd time instead of sending someone to intervene alexei himself shows up and leo is Angry and hurt tells alexei to call off his people cause if he ever sees them again he wont hesitate to kill them and so alexei does cause he does care abt his people he doesnt try to defend himself or anything it finally hits him that he just “oh hmm. ok yeah that was kinda fucked up. uh oh i fucked up. this is bad”

and leos whole attitude began to shift instead of his usual generally polite and very easy attitude ready to make friends with anyone he became guarded irritable and quiet and he lost the soft tone in his voice. eventually even with his favourite most important people around him (stella/felix/miko) hes just too paranoid sick to his stomach and angry to stay where he is. so he says hes going to take a vacation and instead moves down to work at the other facilities as a lower agent domenico carlevaro; he doesnt alter his appearance too much aside from dyeing his hair and changing his general fashion style. the only person he allows to come down and see him is mikolaj but he says if felix or stella ever asked him he is allowed to tell them they can see him but no one else. not maxim or dasha or alcides not the twins. he cant stand to see anyone else. miko regularly visits him but has to ask each time since leo doesnt stay in 1 place for too long. eventually leos anger just makes him even more reckless causing him to break his prosthetic; so he has to return to apologize to dasha and ask for a new one.

there he finds out alexei has disappeared and immediately he just feels a twist in his stomach bc he wanted to be angry and pretend that hes over it and he doesnt care about him anymore but he still does so after he gets his new arm despite maxims protests he insists that he will assist maxim in the search. miko reports that alexei was last seen injured being carried away by a woman from some abandoned facility and so everyone is like ok fuck! who is that! is he already dead! or what the fuck! goddamn it! eventually maxim and leo manage to find where alexei is hiding running into one of his people; daria who is a tracker and not really experienced in protection. she… doesnt know how to properly use a gun. shenanigans happen bc daria is sweet and maxim and leo are not mean then leo sees alexei and boy ! he is  FUCKED UP. alexei looks like hes str8 up dying (cause he is!) hes extremely weak and has to use a cane to walk hes got bloody bandages all over and his arm in a sling and later leo and maxim see that arm has a huge ass bite taken out of it and maxim is just 8D…im a good doctor but im not That good a doctor what the fuck is this. and calls marina down to see if they know what this is

marina does and identifies it as a kaprinka bite (ask my boyed friend what a kaprinka is) and that all cases theyve been in charge of nobody has survived but theyll do what they can to try to fix it. maxim and leo decide to take shifts to always be in the room with alexei in case anything goes wrong like his condition suddenly gets even worse and they need to call marina or an attempt on his life happens. so the first night while leo is in charge of watching alexei they start to talk and leo isnt angry anymore and instead is just…Really really sad and admits how hes felt and how he knows that he doesnt have to; he shouldnt; and he Doesnt forgive him for what he did but hes willing to push that aside to at least go back to the way they were. and alexei admits how hes felt and apologizes for everything and how he “probably got himself killed” and theyre both just mmmm feels bad toddbut after that it gives alexei the push to keep on living and alexei does Stupid Stuff which is really stupid but! it helps and he manages to bring back the kaprinka for marina to see what they can do to help him since they said that theyve only ever seen kaprinka that were already dead and not usable for testing it takes months and some big rollercoaster ups and downs w/ alexeis progress but he makes it and recovers but continues to stay in hiding til he gains his full strength back and during that time someone is sent to kill him and leo and maxim stop the guy and then stuff happens and alexei is big mad and blah blah and stuff and then after thats taken care of and his recovery is full they all return and leo helps alexei/artyom/daria in their search for what originally caused the whole situation alexei got in

and so basically from the day they found him theyve been dating Finally but never like fully established it but its very clear now so everyone knows and dasha is rubbing it in everyones faces and miko and felix are dying and they just Cant understand.

also a quick note: theres 2 darias…i have a daria who is just a cute crafts girl with rainbow hair but thats not the daria in this situation…the daria in that situation is my boyfriends oc who is a motorcycle racer and tracker for alexei but they are both equally cute and good

[justjibberjabber]

The Night Rides

Amy smoothed her braid as she sat down on the porch steps to wait. It was late June in the Midwest – hot and humid, with the nighttime sounds of crickets chirping and the scent of mimosa sweet and thick in the air. She had pulled on her grungiest pair of jeans, old high top sneakers, and her dad’s denim jacket. These nights were the only times she had the opportunity to wear the jacket – when her Mom wasn’t around to see. It had been three years since Russ had lost his battle with cancer, and seeing it now brought Carla only the painful memory of watching him shrink inside the jacket over his last months until it had finally swallowed him whole. She preferred it stay boxed up in the back corner of the attic.

Amy crouched over on her knees, absentmindedly picking at the dirt. She could feel the perspiration gathering at her temples. The wind on the open road would be a relief in this humidity. Just then, past the sound of the hens murmuring sleepily in the chicken coop behind the house, her ears picked up the sound of the motorcycle rumbling up the road. Faint at first, then third gear, fourth gear, fifth gear. She checked her watch – nearly midnight. Right on time. Soon, the headlight came bobbing up the driveway. She smiled at Jesse in the dark as he brought the bike to a stop in front of her, knowing that he was smiling back. After yanking the helmet down over her head, she climbed on the back and hugged Jesse tight. He kicked it into first, and off they went.

Amy and Jesse had been the closest of friends since 7th grade, shortly after her father had received his cancer diagnosis. Russ passed as they finished their first year of high school, and as they finished their last, Jesse had held Amy’s hand at their graduation a few weeks ago as she cried for her father’s marked absence. They had been going for summertime night rides ever since Jesse had bought an old Honda when they were 16.

Tonight they were riding around the lake. Amy stretched out her hand, turning it this way and that, to feel the air move between her fingers. The night was bright from a full moon, and through the trees, she caught glimpses of the reflection of the sky against the lake. Sweet mimosa made its way to her nose, and she breathed deeply. She never wanted to leave this place, the home that she loved, but come August, she would leave Tennessee for the crowded streets of Philadelphia to study law at the University of Pennsylvania. Jesse had joked at first about Amy’s acceptance to such a prestigious school. “What’s a small town girl like you doing hanging around those snobs? Iiiiiivey leeeague, ooooh,” he had said in a mocking voice. She had only rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm. But now that August was creeping close, their conversations about her moving away had grown more serious.

Jesse had brought the bike to a stop at the marina and killed the engine. They were sitting at the edge of the dock, bare toes dangling in the water. Amy lay back against the rough wooden planks and clasped her hands across her belly. “What are you going to do Jesse? We always talk about me going away, but what about you? What are you going to do?”

Jesse sighed and rubbed his face with his hands as he eased down onto the dock beside Amy. “I don’t know, I guess just keep working the farm with my dad. We’ve got some ground that’s never been farmed because my dad wouldn’t have had time in the spring to plant it all. Or harvest it, for that matter. But now that I’m done with school, he wants to clear it, and I can work it for him. The money would be decent.”

“But you’re so smart, Jesse. And you love animals. You could be a veterinarian. U Penn is known for their vet school! Come to Philly with me!”

“Ha! Sure, I’m not dumb, but I’m no Amy Dawson. Not everyone is smart enough to get into an Ivy League school.”

Amy persisted and turned toward Jesse to prop herself on an elbow. “You haven’t even applied! How do you know they’d say no?” Jesse was the only one who didn’t see how capable he was, and Amy got the feeling that his father would like to keep it that way. Their family farm grew only bigger with each passing season.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to go to Philly. You know me. I’m a simple guy. A country boy, like John Denver. I’d feel like I was being suffocated there.”

“You don’t know that.” Amy stared at him for a few moments as he looked up at the stars. When he didn’t say anything, she lay back down on the dock. The night was quiet aside from the crickets and frogs and the occasional splashing of the lake as their feet moved through the water. Amy nudged Jesse’s leg with her foot, and her heart clenched when he looked at her. The words didn’t want to come out. “I’m going to miss you in Philly.”

Jesse smiled. “I’m going to miss you, too. But you’ll be home at the holidays, and maaaybe I’ll come visit you in the concrete jungle a time or two.” They laughed and grew quiet. He grabbed her hand. “We’ll always be friends, Amy. That will never change.”

Part of Amy wanted that to change, to become more than just friends. Sometimes she wanted him to grab her hand out of love, not just friendship. But she couldn’t stay here – she had to go to Philly. She had to study and succeed and make her father proud, wherever he was now. Practicing law somewhere in the clouds, she liked to think. “Let’s go home.”

“Okay.” They took in the night a few moments more, then grabbed their shoes and headed for the bike. Jesse turned the key, flipped the engine switch on, and twisted the petcock straight down. With a push of the starter button and gentle twist of the throttle, the bike roared to life. Amy planted her feet on the pegs and watched in the dark as Jesse maneuvered the bike out of the marina parking lot and onto the road. Clutch in, down into first, clutch out and throttle. Clutch in, up to second, clutch out and throttle. Third gear, fourth gear, they were gaining speed. Into fifth gear, the bike was singing now. As they made their way home, Amy clung to Jesse for dear life. She didn’t fear the road signs whizzing past her at 60 miles per hour. She didn’t fear the wind thrumming in her ears. She didn’t fear the scorching exhaust pipes mere inches from her legs. What she feared was Philly. What she feared was losing the best friend she’d ever had. What she feared was moving on and growing up and life moving faster than the asphalt flying beneath her feet. She didn’t want the future to come but knew she was hopeless to stop it coming. She wanted to live forever on the back of Jesse’s bike, arms circled around his waist, wind giving her goosebumps up both arms. She wanted time itself to stand still, if only they could live out this summer for the rest of their days.

Jesse dropped her off shortly after 2 am. She waved to him as he steered the bike around her circle drive, and off into the night he went, the red glow of a single taillight diminishing to an ember before a turn south extinguished it altogether. She listened as the bike grew quieter, fainter, and then all she was left with was the night. The crickets and the frogs and the hens murmuring in the coop, mimosa prickling in her nose, dew gathering on the grass. She drew a deep breath. No matter where she went, no matter what life turned into, no matter if she became a success or a complete failure, she would remember these summers, these sounds, these nights. She would remember these night rides.  

[yewphoric]

Character meme. DIOOOOO and jotarized

oh he he he oh hoho ok thank you :imbaby: 

these are gonna be long fair warning. u picked two top faves so i’ll talk forever

we will do Dio first

Favorite thing about them: I think my favorite thing abt him is. well besides He Sexy, his like flair?? idk he’s so dramatic and talks and stands weird and does weird things and i think that’s pretty neat

Least favorite thing about them: WELL he’s a pretty shitty person lol. he does many bad things but 2 pick one....his flagrant disrespect for life in general. like. he just kills animals and ppl for no reason. that’s not good, Dio, stop that

Favorite line: ah he says a lot of funky iconic things. ig it’s not a line but is it too cheesy to pick WRYYYYYYYYY? bc i’m picking that. it never fails to make me laugh bc like what the fuck. he’s just makin those noises. go ahead you rabid gay vampire

Random headcanon: this one might count as an unpopular opinion as well since i’ve seen how ppl react to this headcanon BUT i hc him as aroace. yes he fucks to survive but did he feel any sort of attraction to those many, many people? absolutely not. he fucks to fuck and that is all. i will die on this hill

Unpopular opinion: i think high Dio (short hair Dio) is the ugliest version of him. idk if this is unpopular but short hair does Not suit Dio, at all

Song I associate with them: OK this is kinda unoriginal since i got it from an AMV about him BUT Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds is a Dio song. here’s the AMV it’s really good 

Favorite picture of them: Hard choice! he is very sexy. i’ll go with this panel from Stone Ocean, though 

now for Jotaro :3c

Favorite thing about them: ohhhh god i have to pick huh. OK i thought of one thing: i love that he canonically has a soft spot for kids. like if people hurt kids he gets REALLY mad and he’s generally just got a dad vibe when he has to take care of kids. love the protective dad energy

Least favorite thing about them: i love him with my entire heart so i don’t hate anything abt him BUT i really do wish he handled raising Jolyne better. i understand the canon reasons and i know it’s completely in character for him to think that not being there is the best way to protect her but please,,,, be there for her, sir

Favorite line: ok i really love a lot of his stupid one-liners in stardust crusaders lmao. i think my favorite was when Dark Blue Moon’s user tried to predict what he was thinking about and then after he defeated him he was like “Nope. What I was thinking was... [dramatic turn] If you pissed yourself when you lost, it’d be gross since we’re in the water, old man.” like how iconic. he thinks he’s so cool. i love him

Random headcanon: ok i finally thought of an original headcanon of mine: he has his hands in his pockets all the time even when it seems inconvenient (like. when he’s about to fight Dio, for example) because he’s Incredibly Uncomfortable if he’s not doing something with or holding something in his hands and putting them in his pockets is a way to conveniently alleviate that AND look cool and chill at the same time

Unpopular opinion: idk how unpopular this is But i’m okay with the fact that his marriage to his wife was never developed? like she’s not given any characteristics other than “good mother” and considering that she doesn’t even have a name and that Jotaro never even mentions caring about her when he talks about caring for Jolyne,,, idk i don’t find myself longing to see what their relationship was like since i don’t think there was much there

Song I associate with them: ok i just decided this on the spot BUT.... thinkin about the lyrics a lil...... Interlude by EDEN. especially “so i push it back down cuz i never wanna let out that i’ve been dying since i saw you were gone”.... sad cat face....might go draw some sad fanart to this song.... :thinking:

Favorite picture of them: hm ok another hard one bc Jotaro’s top notch character design and Araki’s beautiful art style combine very often to form some Excellent pieces that are very visually appealing..... i’ll go with This One from Stone Ocean though...... i realize perhaps i’m just a bit of a slut for the Stone Ocean art style lmao

[inktank-thinktank]

Splatocalypse profiles 2

Annie:

NoA translation:

Annie: Team Chaos “Umm… Gear abilities are cool and stuff…I guess.” Items stocked in her online shop provide a flair of eccentricity not available in standard gear. Squidkids everywhere are constantly refreshing their phones for a chance to snag her latest release.

Fan translation (credit foolishignis):

—What side are you on? Annie: Chaos— “Now what gear power should we go for with this one...?” Adorned with a magical flair that allows them to contain qualities not found in their regular counterparts, the gear you’ll find at Annie’s online shop continues to hold the favour of the keen youth.

Original Ink Tank prediction:

For Annie, the first game implies that out of her and Moe, Moe is the one really ‘in charge’ of things, and, well… Moe is hard chaos. Play Splatoon Wii U, guys.

Comments:

Well that’s entirely different from what we expected. The NoA translation fits with Annie’s generally meek demeanor, but in either case her justification for Team Chaos seems...pretty weak.

Crusty Sean & Bisk:

NoA translation:

Crusty Sean & Bisk: Team Order Their shared love for footwear make it natural that they’d end up on the same side. When these neighbors get caught up in shoe talk, it can last until sunup. Is THAT why the lines for Sean’s food truck are so long?

Fan translation (credit foolishignis):

—What side are you on? Crusty Sean & Bisk: Order— An unlikely bond between two hard-boiled, fellow shoe-loving crustaceans. The proximity of their two shops make it hard not to get lost in conversation until dawn. Maybe someone could tell Sean about the line stretching in front of his shop, though?

Original Ink Tank prediction:

The only ones who we cannot seem to figure out are Murch, Bisk, and Crusty Sean, however we know that Sean has some…strangeness to him, only accepting tickets and getting defensive when you point this out, and the ‘Crustwear XXL’ shirt, a shirt advertising his food truck, being Grizzco gear. Perhaps he supports Team Order because of an involvement with corporate bureaucracy?

Comments:

We didn’t have much of an explanation for this one initially. The official explanation is...not really an explanation on the surface level. But I suppose one could argue that two like-minded people getting lost in conversation due to shared interests and kinship is somewhat ‘orderly’, even if that is somewhat tenuous.

Flow & Craymond:

NoA translation:

Flow & Craymond: Team Chaos “Oh, friends, what’s a world without wild parties? Join me, won’t you?” Flow and Craymond set up shop looking to connect with the energies of the universe. They now hope to open a new world’s third eye to the exciting possibilities of chaos.

Fan translation (credit foolishignis):

—What side are you on? Flow & Craymond: Chaos— “Come, all you sweeties, the fun’s only just begun...!” Setting out in search of colourful encounters is what brought these two to set up shop in Inkopolis Square. As far as they’re concerned, a world of Chaos has much more to offer when it comes to new meetings.

Original Ink Tank prediction:

Flow, being a ‘hippie’ of sorts, likely is on chaos in terms of ‘personal freedom’. And, y’know. Being able to be high all the time most likely.

Comments:

So yeah basically like we said, she’s a hippie. The original Japanese implies a bit of a jesterly malice, however.

Jelfonzo:

NoA translation:

Jelfonzo: Team Order “Forsooth, but fashion flourishes or fails on its fundamentals.” Though a proponent of the idea that fashion is a form of freedom, Jelfonzo is also firm that context is king. One look in his watery eyes confirms his constant commitment to couture.

Fan translation (credit foolishignis):

—What side are you on? Jelfonzo: Order— “For what art principles if naught what maketh fashion truly... Ex​squid​site!” That crystal clear gaze, transparent as the head on his shoulders, tells of a passionate belief, unwavering— that, as free as fashion may be, it may never truly escape the binds of context.

Original Ink Tank prediction:

Jelfonzo being Team Order makes sense, given that Nogami has stated that the Jellyfishes are all actually a large hivemind organism, who may have a significant hand in sponsoring Turf War, suggesting since Turf War is according to the Splatoon Ikasu Art Book largely subsidized by the government, the Jellyfish hivemind has a significant hand in Inkopolis’ government as well.

Comments:

This is ENTIRELY different from our prediction, which leaned more on Jelfonzo’s status as part of the Jellyfish hivemind. Instead, it seems to lean more on his sense as a fashion designer.

Salmonids:

NoA translation:

Salmonids: Team Chaos Their single-minded drive to get back to their spawning grounds COULD be seen as orderly…if you squint. But who are we kidding? The frenzied, indiscriminate way they stampede over everyone and everything in the way of that goal is chaos to a T.

Fan translation (credit foolishignis):

—What side are you on? Salmonids: Chaos— One could argue that their unyielding determination to return to their homeland comes from a sense of Order. But take one look at the way they push past and mercilessly eliminate those who stand in their way— and you’ll find that’s as chaotic as Chaos gets.

Original Ink Tank prediction:

Starting with Team Chaos, we have the Salmonids. This is quite obvious. The Salmonids have always been agents of chaos, chiefly known for overrunning early Inkling settlements and even going as far as consuming the Inklings within.

Comments:

Generally in-line with our prediction. Salmonids are agents of chaos insofar as their overrunning Inkling settlements in pursuit of their spawning grounds.

Octarians:

NoA translation:

Octarians: Team Order “The light that was denied us will be ours.” Since the Great Turf War drove them below, they have used their technological skill to bring a sort of order to their realm. But deep down, they know true order cannot be fabricated. It must be seized.

Fan translation (credit foolishignis):

—What side are you on? Octarians: Order— “Our people, one day, take back the light” Forced underground after the Great Turf War, they brought up the pillars of their own Order through diligence and their advanced technology. The fact that they’re still aiming to make it back to the surface, however, must mean they are aware, somewhere deep in their minds, that that is no more than a fake Order.

Original Ink Tank prediction:

This brings us to the Octarians in general, who are Team Order being a regimented technocracy where large focus is put on people serving a specific function (see Marina’s Chat Room), as well as again the technological oppression aspects. They may also be simply following Marina, as we know that Agent 8 idolizes her, and that the Octolings who escaped to Inkopolis did so because they were inspired by her.

Comments:

As we predicted, the Octarians are Order due to the nearly-oppressively order-oriented aspects of their society. The comment about wanting to ‘take back the light’ / that ‘the light that was denied us will be ours’ is interesting, as it shows that the Octarians do in fact want to take back their place on the surface, meaning the opposition to Octavio by those who defected is a matter of disagreement on means, not intent. And in a way, they did take it back, as they now live in coexistence with the Inklings.

More posts, and more new fan translations to compare against the NoA translations, will be posted in the coming days! Thanks, and hang in there!

[luminoustico]

For End of the Year Writing Meme: All the questions sound super interesting so just use this as an opportunity to answer whatever questions interest you most

So funny story I put this in my drafts to complete in the quiet time of New Year’s Day, but then I forgot about it completely. BRACE YOURSELF.

A. If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of your fics, what would you pick? Why?

Lies by Marina and the Diamonds, to accompany the latter half of Valse Melancolique. It’s a really good song to show Irene’s POV at that point, especially her reluctance to accept that the webs she’s spun are basically collapsing around her.

“I just want it to be perfect / To believe it’s all been worth the fight,” is the most relevant set of lyrics, IMO.

B. Who’s your favourite side-character from something you wrote?

I really enjoyed writing side characters like Rose and Finn, though Rose just edges it because I’ve been enjoying writing her in Don’t Complicate It. Finn runs a very close second.

C. Get any good comments on your stuff this year?

Sure! All comments are good comments, let’s be real. Unless they’re an obvious troll comment or those “update now!!!” kind of comments. Those aren’t so good.

D. Any drawings or pictures that had a big influence on your writing?

The artwork of the late 18th century and Roberto Ferri definitely influenced the tone of Valse Melancolique. Many scenes from certain stories were driven by a single image I had in my head as well.

E.  Who’s your favourite main character you’ve written?

Though I do enjoy delving into Ben/Kylo’s psyche, I enjoy writing Rey more – she’s more enclosed, and I love chipping away at characters to get to their truths.

G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?

Towards the end of the year, I began to realise that writing can actually be fun like it used to be. I’ve been so aware of the way the world is currently that I’ve been convincing myself that my writing must have a message, or it’s not ‘worthy’. I need to understand that I started writing not to pass on any morals or messages, but as a release and a way to find enjoyment in the constant buzz.

H.  How do you write? Paper, pen, computer? Music, no music?

All of those. I write on my phone, on my computer, on pen and paper. Music and no music, it depends. Most often I’m listening to a playlist/album which then stops and I cease writing an hour or so later realising I’ve been writing in silence.

I.  What’s your favourite work you did this year? Why?

I’m always tempted to answer this kind of question with my most recent story. But I’m going to be really honest and say that star among the stars is a personal favourite. And it’s not just because of the pegging.

J.  What are the best jokes you told this year? Any jokes you thought were funny that people didn’t catch? Vice-versa?

I’m completely blanking on this one.

K. Who have you killed this year? Why did they have to die?

Qui-Gon Jinn (to match with canon), Molly and Sherlock (hey it was a story based on Dangerous Liaisons, and I was reading classical Russian literature at the time of plotting) and Kylo Ren a bunch of times (metaphorically).  

L.  Which character did you most write about this year, and why do you like ‘em?

I wrote more about Rey. As mentioned before, it’s because I like chipping away at a character’s surface but also it’s because I really relate to her, especially in regards to her feelings of loneliness and her tendency to put on ‘a brave face’. Plus I really admire her compassion and her strength. I envy it.

M. Meta! Have any meta about a story you’re dying to throw out there?

Not particularly -- just headcanons and reasons behind why I write what I write. (I’ve never been very good with meta anyway.) I really like it when other people meta my fic, or pick up on something I didn’t! That is an AMAZING feeling. 

O. Do you believe in outlines? Show us one!

I do indeed! I love my outlines. For some projects, I’ve got whole folders with docs labelled Initial Ideas, Plot Summary, Chapter Outline, etc. etc. I’ve got my notes app on my phone stuffed up to the gills with mini-outlines. I frequently use my story structure template, which is technically more for screenplays, but the breaking down into acts thing helps my brain figure things out. 

P. What are your pet peeves in other people’s work?

When an author relies too much on UST and ruins the pacing. Like, an author drags out the first getting together because they believe that the anticipation is the only thing generating comments. If it’s right to have them bang, have them bang! The awkward morning after is a delicious opportunity for UST -- just a different kind. 9 times out of 10, your readers are there not for the smut because they’re invested in the story and like your writing.

Q. Quote three bits of writing you read this year. Can be your writing, or not.

Let’s mix it up.

“ “Why did you do that?” he demanded as they ducked into a side alley. “What part of ‘keep a low profile’ is difficult for you to understand?”

“I’m a good haggler,” Rey said through a full mouth. She didn’t have any idea what she was eating, and she didn’t care. It took so much effort to chew each bite instead of gulping it down whole. “He was trying to cheat us.”

“You didn’t haggle. You pushed.”

“I did not. Why would I knock him over in the middle of his stand?”

Kylo just stared. “You need a teacher,” he muttered. He watched her eat for a moment, his expression somewhere between thoughtful and disgusted, before taking a bite from one of his own skewers. Disgust won out. ” -- Symmetry and Black Tar by audreyii_fic. (Grumpy smuggler Kylo Ren, spunky scavenger Rey, canon divergence. Excellent.)

“ "Ben," Rey breathes once Kylo's mere inches away. It's the name Luke introduced him with, the only name she knows him by, and he's never bothered to correct her. Why hasn't he corrected her? The question flees from his mind as she closes her eyes and he leans down into the space between them, kissing her full on the lips. It's not gentle, he doesn't know how to be, but she opens for him the way the flowers she loves so much bloom in the sunlight. ” -- the surface of last scattering by diasterisms. (It’s the apocalypse, it’s exactly the right time to meet the love of your life, right? Read for utter devastation.) 

“ Rey could spend hours in the Falcon’s inner workings. She’d spent so much time in the belly of hollowed-out Star Destroyers, which were horrific remnants of old worlds, cold and grey. The Falcon is alive, speaking a strange language she’s just about half-deciphered. Sometimes, on days where she misses the connection most and dreams of a boy reaching across the stars to find her, it feels like the Falcon doesn’t want to speak to her. It shuts down. Sparks spit at her, and mechanisms develop odd faults.Today, a jet of steam blows directly in her face, not harmful, but almost like a snarl of 'go away'.

Rey climbs out of the hatch, fetching tools. She works with that fault first.

“I’m not thinking about him,” she promises to no-one but the ship she’s looking after. ” -- If I was born as a blackthorn tree, by me!

R. If you had to rewrite one of your stories from scratch, which one would it be? What would you do to it?

Going to cheat here and head back to 2017. I’d rewrite Two Stars Aligned. What I’d probably do is make it a post-TLJ fic, where Rey and Ben decide to run away after getting involved in a secret relationship, but get shot down by the First Order -- after landing in Giaca, they become embroiled in Game of Thrones style politics and the ruling families, while the Resistance and the First Order conduct searches for them. I’d cut out the weird Force shit and make the redemption arc thing more organic by giving the whole story room to bloody breathe. Two Stars Aligned is actually the reason why I now try to stick to oneshots for exchanges and any anthologies I get involved in.

S. What’s the sexiest thing you wrote this year?

Sexiest thing written in 2018... It’ll have to be the pegging in star among the stars.

T. Themes, motherfucker, do you have them? What are they?

Feminism. Females being allowed to be as fucked-up and broody as the men they love, and perhaps, even broodier. Make women afraid of commitment, 2k19.

U. Any stories that took an abrupt U-turn from where you thought they were going?

If I were a blackthorn tree took a pleasing turn away from the initial outline. The initial idea was lots of secret trysts and stuff like that, but I much prefer the quiet romance with a note of hope at the end that it turned out to be.

V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks.

Huh. Hm. Don’t Complicate It is turning out to be kind of fun to write; when I’m not allowing myself to be crippled by the brain goblins that is (they’re strong lately). It’s a combo of writing a trope/kink I’ve been wanting to write for ages -- A/B/O -- and remembering that it’s okay to have fun with it.

W.  Who are your favourite writers?

@kylo-wouldnt-like-those-chips - @conchepcion (every time I think I’m out, she pulls me back in *shakes fist*) - @introspectivenavelgazer - @audreyii-fic - @kylorenvevo - ambiguously - @fettuccine-alfreylo and SO MANY MORE (this post is long enough already!!)

X.  What’s your least favourite work of this year?

My least favourite has to be In Cars. It was an ambitious idea, which I didn’t really fulfil, I feel. Curse of being a perfectionist. I want something to be amazing. World-changing! Tear-jerking! I want Vestal virgins to weep golden tears over my words, already delicately transcribed onto ancient parchment by monks. Obviously, that’s an impossible standard, but I can’t help being cross when I don’t reach it.

Y. Why did you write? For fun, for a friend, for acclaim?

During 2018? Mostly for acclaim. It made 2018 a very difficult year for writing, and just a difficult year in general. I’m trying to make sure I have fun during 2019 with this stuff. Striving for perfection is a punishing task that no-one can ever accomplish because perfection doesn’t exist. Contentment does, though. As does happiness. And those should be more important.

Z. If you could choose one work and immediately finish it, what would it be? How would you end it?

I’d finish Sanctum, my priest Kylo fic. I’m split between continuing or rewriting anyway (the rewrite would include relocating the action to the medieval era, around the time Luther wrote that damned essay and pinned it to the church door). But I do know the exact image I want to finish on, which will remain whether I end up rewriting or not. It involves a name, a scrap of material and a rather fetching colour scheme. 

Ooh. Cryptic.

[bearofohu]

Bloodstained Fedora - Professor Layton Fanfiction

TW: Blood, gore, near-death, swearing.

Summary: Professor Layton has arrived to save his apprentice, Luke, along with his wife Marina. They find him, but he has been badly, badly hurt. The world just might turn its back on Hershel once again as he loses another one he loves.

Author’s Note: yea so i think this is the first fanfic on my blog? i dont write fanfictions very often anymore so please try to avoid criticism if you can. just enjoy! i’m sorry for the weird shift in tone this was originally going to be light-hearted but then my angst hit. hope u enjoy my fic regardless! its filled with latyon and luke father/son because i live for that shit bro. also sorry for any grammar mistakes im not a good writer!!

THIS IS NOT LAYTON X LUKE. IF YOU SAY IT IS I WILL VORE YOUR FUCKING FAMILY.

“You say that Luke is in here, correct?” The Professor inquired flatly, pointing one of his unnaturally long fingers towards the giant cell-like door that looked like it was concealing a million dollars rather than his dear thirteen-year-old animal-whispering emotionally stunted  apprentice, who was very much long past thirteen, but the strong instincts to be a caregiver were still there and he knew they would never go away.

He wasn’t shouting it to the rooftops, but his intuition was telling him that… well frankly, that Hershel would open the door and be greeted with the sight of a boy that had changed so drastically he would be fighting tears from his eyes and screaming on his insides at the realization that he was finally standing before the boy he had missed for years.

And even more vehemently, that he would discover that this man, Don Paolo, garbed in an ugly businessman Halloween costume, had harmed Luke… and based on the show he put on with Paolo’s fedora-tipping army, it wouldn’t end well for Paolo or Layton’s pacifist reputation.

The short, stubby little man strode forwards a bit nonchalantly as if he had full confidence that his stupid disguise was fooling him. He knew well that is was not sitting well with Marina, Luke’s wife, either, as she was almost clinging to his arm and eyeing this stranger with fiery violet eyes. It was clear she did not know this man or his relation to her frankly bumbling husband… and it was also clear that the fact that he had imprisoned Luke had caused Hershel’s arm to be the only barrier between her and terrible bloodshed. And Rosa, well…. She just looked confused, the dear lady. She always looked confused. It worried Hershel a slight that he considered, once he reunited with Luke, maybe it would be good for her to take a break from tending to his office. She was aging fast, and… er, her tea was… well, it was fucking disgusting, but that series of vulgar thoughts did not even cross Hershel’s mind. Lackluster, he would call it.

“Y-yes,” The man seemed to purr, lifting his chin that was so elongated and awkwardly curved and pointy that it could cut entire oranges. “Right there…” He gestured to the door, his stuttering and clumsy behavior reeking of Don Paolo.

“Luke!” Marina cried, leaning forwards a bit, her eyes widening and glistening as she gazed longingly at the cell door. Her passion for Luke was… oddly comforting to Hershel. It was clear she was worried.

“Do not worry,” Hershel said reassuringly. “I’m sure Luke is alright.”

Hershel lied.

His ears detected a slight click in the vicinity besides him, and his pupil that doesn’t exist, honestly, turned to gaze a bit menacingly at Don Paolo. The man paused, making eye contact with Hershel.

“So, this is as far as you have come with us, Don Paolo?” Hershel said with false pleasantry.

The man made frigid eye contact with Layton before throwing his hands up defensively with a dandy little taser in his right palm. Marina and Rosa both turned to look, and gasped with Marina shrinking back a tad.

“Y-you knew?!” He gasped.

Hershel bit back a smile, wanting to call him a moron, but instead, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and simply said, “Do you really think I would be unable to see through that cheap disguise?” His voice was stern, but had a sharp bite to it. Normally, he would be much more discreet with his aggressiveness, but Luke might be injured and Hershel didn’t have time for any of this shit.

Age has a weird way of pushing your vocabulary boundaries.

Don Paolo seemed to finally cave in upon being found out, and with a signature grunt, he grabbed two sides of his flabby costume and pulled it apart, revealing an equally flabby man. His mustache looked even grosser than it had the last time Hershel saw him, but he pushed those thoughts away as well.

“You are always so annoying, Layton!” Paolo snarled. Rosa and Marina seemed to shrink back even more, gasping with revulsion.

Hershel decided to bite back, because the more he aged, the bigger urge he had to be ornery and also, his instincts that were based from the fight with the men from earlier screamed that Luke was in danger and he needed to wrap this up. “And you are careless as always, Don Paolo.” Hershel drawled, fighting a smile as he began to dig through his pocket and deliver his final blow, “Also, I’ve taken the relic stone you had hidden in your room.” He then displayed it for all to see, a violet-blue shining stone that fit between his two fingers.

“H-how did you…” Paolo breathed, reeling back almost as if Layton had never bested him before. “How far do you intend to meddle in my plans?!” He growled, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

How far do you intend to get on my nerves?  Hershel thought in the back of his cranium. It felt almost like Don Paolo’s need to interfere with Layton’s life would follow him until he either died or Paolo finally got some self-esteem and decided not to waste his time.

Paolo tensed, his wide eyes blazing as he attempted to stare Layton down. “Do you think I’ll just leave like that?!”

Hershel almost wanted to shrug, and when his eyes moved anxiously to the cell door, apart of him wanted to kick Paolo in the teeth for what he might’ve done. He could tell Marina was staring at it too, her anxiety matching his.

Once again, Hershel settled with a simple, “Inspector Chelmey and the whole of Scotland Yard will arrive shortly.” It wasn’t a lie, he had phoned them while Paolo had his head in the clouds, blabbering to Marina with lies she didn’t care for, and he remembered explicitly to tell them to bring an ambulance, should his harrowing hunch turn to be true.

He had to get to Luke, now.

Taking a breath, he put the stone back in his pocket and pulled out a pair of yellow keys hanging at the tip of his index finger, his go-to for getting Paolo to fuck off as soon as possible. “If I give you this key to the door in the back alley, you’ll leave quietly, yes?” He mused, unable to hide a ‘you disgust me and it’s time for you to leave my general field of vision’ smile. As Paolo anxiously uncupped his hands, Hershel swung the keys out into them.

Paolo took one last chance to glare at Layton with his ugly little eyes, and sneered, “I may leave now, but you’ll remember this, Layton!” Hershel’s eyes darkened at this, knowing full well that he would remember this… but not out of fear of Paolo, for a determination to put his foot in his ass should he have hurt any part of Luke’s body.

Don Paolo then proceeded to lug himself up the stairs in a manner of a walk as if he had just pissed himself, grunting with an embarrassing amount of effort. Hershel scowled and slightly smirked after him, and then he felt a familiar fear grip at his heart as he turned back to the cell door. He took a deep breath and felt Marina’s eyes on him. He gave her a smile as comforting as he could manage, and he said, fighting to keep a tremble from his voice, “Now… let’s save Luke.”

Marina’s eyes glowed and glistened with the narrow oncoming tears that were growing out of anxiety. “Yes!” She breathed, desperation in her voice.

Hershel nodded once more and then began to advance towards the door, his heart beginning to pound silently but catastrophically in his chest.

Luke was in there, his apprentice Luke… A grown Luke, an adult Luke… It felt so unbelievably surreal. He couldn’t stop the visions from what seemed like millenniums ago, of that little boy grabbing his sleeve, eyes downcast.

Let me go with you! Let me learn from you! I can be Professor Layton’s apprentice!

It had been so long… and that boy, he could be anyone now. It had been years. Hershel looked at the pictures he had of Luke almost every day just so he wouldn’t forget the boy’s face even in all this time. He felt more memories wrench in his mind, seeming to slow time as memories of loss raced past him, shining through to the one thing that had never truly left him.

“True friends share a special connection, and this connection endures, no matter how apart they may be in the world. Do you see?”

“I-I think I do, Professor.”

Hershel breathed in shakily, feeling Marina at his side. He pressed his hands against the handles of the door.

And then he noticed the dark, thick slashes of blood that were streaked beside the handles.

His mind seized, time stopped, and he grabbed the handles of the door and swung inward as hard as he could, a desperate gasp leaving his lips. He let his eyes bear witness to the sight before him.

Streaks of blood decorated the stone floor of this cell with a menacingly vibrant shade of crimson, growing wider and wider… the room had a musky odor of fresh blood and sweat… and smoke, and as Hershel’s eyes traveled up the streaks of blood as they got wider and wider, to the far wall…

He saw what had always felt like his true other half.

Luke was laying, sprawled, at the far wall of the cell, his back to his rescuers. He was tall, almost lankly, his limbs awkwardly sprawled. He was wearing a navy blue coat that was dotted with blood splatters from heavy injuries sustained and a black singe across his entire outfit, and as Hershel’s eyes traveled to his legs, he saw deep gashes in his body’s legs from what appeared to be heavy blows by a blunt object. Beside his bloodied head, laid an equally bloodied fedora that was ripped.

The singed scent of flesh, the blood, the strong odor… it told Hershel everything he needed to know. The thugs had beaten Luke senseless, tased him, and had thrown him in here for hours…

To die.

Hershel was barely breathing as he took it all in, his ears not even registering the mournful scream that emitted from Marina. He stared at the boy, now a man… now a body…?

No, no, no. No!

Marina beelined for her husband, and she was fast, but Hershel was faster. Rosa surged forwards along behind them as they sprinted for Luke, although arthritis can only have so much haste.

Hershel made it to him first, and he fell onto his knees mid-sprint, his knees carelessly scraping across the harsh rocky ground as he hastened to the inert man’s side. His eyes scanned over and over again across Luke’s body as he reached his arms over and pulled the young man over and into his arms are careful as he possibly could, his arm moving over to support his head and shoulders. The blood easily began to congeal into Hershel’s clothes, and his apprentice’s frail form was hot to the touch from the strikes with the taser, but there was no hesitation in his mind. With a free hand, he whisked Luke’s uncut bangs out of his face and finally saw the face of the boy.

He could hardly believe what we saw… Luke was no longer a boy… but an adult… he had returned, Hershel had him now. Hershel had laying limp in his grasp what he had been missing, a loss that had left a void in his life… He was here, but it could be too late.

“Luke.” Hershel rasped, giving the young man the slightest shake as he stared into his apprentices’ pale face. “Luke, no…”

Hershel felt his cheeks grow damp and hot with what he was sure were fresh tears, and his breathing was extremely labored as he immediately moved his shaking hand down to Luke’s neck. He pressed it against Luke’s veins, his vitals, and for the first time in years and years, he said a silent prayer, a silent beg, a silent cry to God to please don’t take this from his life. He could hardly stand the barren years without his apprentice, but if he were...

If Luke was gone, Hershel just might’ve broken.

But the world wasn’t going to break him. The world wasn’t going to betray him once again, his suffering finally felt over as he felt the fluttering of a pulse underneath his fingers. Beside him, he then noticed that Marina had raced to her husband’s side as well and was borderline wailing his name as she reached for him.

Hershel absentmindedly moved his arm down to support Luke’s back and allow her to cradle his head as Rosa kneeled down at Luke’s feet, her eyes gigantic and frantic. Marina leaned down pressed her forehead against her husband’s own, sobbing with hysteria, unaware that he was even alive. “Luke… L-LUKE! N-no…!” She wailed, her tears falling down his face as she clutched him close to her.

“Professor…” Rosa gasped over Marina’s cries. The poor old women was shaking a bit out of fear and panic, this sight almost too much for her. “Professor, is he…?”

Hershel didn’t respond at first. He couldn’t take it anymore. In the years that Luke had been just a boy, Hershel had bottled so many emotions, suppressed so many feelings, hidden so many sorrows… but he just could not hold it in any longer. With the overwhelming sense of endless relief pulsing through him as he felt Luke’s pulse beneath his fingers, and as his tears began spilling faster and faster, a choked sob escaped the man, filled with all the emotions that he had never allowed himself to show around the boy.

Hershel’s head fell onto Luke’s bloodied chest, his fingers still delicately over the boy’s vitals and he sobbed even more, harder and harder… his shoulders heaving and shaking. His top hat had nearly fallen off his head at this point, but nothing could be further from his mind. There were too many emotions to convey into one word, but he felt relief, he felt sorrow, he felt joy, he felt worried, he felt distraught… and he felt the feeling of fatherly love for this boy, for his young apprentice, now a grown man, but still his young Luke. It was a feeling he could finally embrace.

“H-he’s alive. H-he’s...” Hershel gasped through vehement sobs. Beside him, he felt Marina suck in a gasp as she moved forward, embracing her husband even more as she searched for ways to rouse him.

When the overwhelming emotions were beginning to end and Hershel could get control of himself again, he lifted his head, his face streaked with tears from at least three minutes of ugly crying. His top hat had fallen off, but he didn’t even seem to notice as moved a hand gently through Luke’s matted hair and, still shaking with smaller sobs, he began to tend to Luke’s wounds with every fiber of emergency medical knowledge in his body. He moved his hands about each wound, applying direct pressure with all his strength to stop the bleeding. He kept looking at Luke’s face, searching desperately for him to come to, somehow. He instructed Marina to help with applying pressure and had Rosa keep watch over his vitals. They did not have to do this long however, because thankfully, Hershel began to hear police sirens outside the building, the familiar ring of Scotland Yard’s cars, and his heart was flooded with relief when he heard the similar alarm of an ambulance.

He managed to get Marina off of Luke’s body, telling her he had to bring him outside for medical attention. She was still shaking and sobbing, her hysteric worry still very vehement, but she could sense her relief that her husband was probably going to make it. Hershel knew he had to make haste outside, he didn’t have time to wait for them to scour the building and get to him.

As Marina parted from on top of her bloodied husband, Hershel began the process of lifting Luke in his arms as carefully as possible into a position where he could carry him. Luke, being much older, had taken on much more mass, but Hershel was still nimble and strong as ever. Once Luke was securely positioned, his neck still being supported, and Hershel was mobile, he turned and began to race out of the cell door and out to the exit of the building, calling Marina and Rosa to follow him. Marina had no trouble nipping at Hershel’s heels, still crying her husband’s name out of desperation for him to rouse, and poor Rosa still lagged behind, the excitement of today obviously taking a toll on her old bones.

Hershel bolted outside with his surrogate son limp in his arms, immediately shouting out in a strong voice for paramedics to aid him as Marina launched herself after him. Hershel stopped before the cars and settled down so that Luke could lay as one Scotland Yard constable pounded forwards and laid out a blanket for him to lay on. Hershel still kneeled before Luke, a gentle hand supporting his neck and chest as he saw the bulky figure of Inspector Chelmey race for him, tailed by Constable Barton.

“Layton! Did you find your boy?!” Chelmey barked, his voice raspy with age as he raced to Hershel. Marina was crouched at Hershel’s side, never leaving her husband for even a moment. Chelmey halted before the scene with Barton at his side, looking at first surprised to see Layton without his hat, and the older Inspector gave a deep gasp at the sight before him as he looked down at Luke.

“Blood ‘ELL! Is that...?”” Chelmey’s eyes widened with an almost mournful panic as he looked up at Hershel, expecting to hear that they had been to late.

“Yes, Inspector, this is Luke.” Hershel said, his voice thick with the sobs he had released just minutes prior. He drew in a deep gasp and his eyes bore seriously into the Inspector’s own. “He’s alive. I-I did as much as I could. P-please, get the paramedics, hurry.”

Chelmey nodded deeply, his eyes showing a smidge of soft emotion as he saw the emotional toll this had taken on Hershel, and the state of Luke. Hershel vaguely wondered if Chelmey felt the surreal feeling of Luke’s age as well, as if he still felt like a boy to him. He turned and let loose a louder bellow for paramedics than Hershel could ever muster, as Barton raced to notify them to bring the ambulance closer to the scene.

It was just minutes before paramedics were swarming the scene, beginning to load Luke up on a stretcher. Hershel finally but reluctantly left Luke’s side for just a moment as they loaded the unconscious man up into the yellow stretcher before he was back, trotting alongside the stretcher, searching Luke’s face as they stuck him with vital medical care. Marina pounced into the ambulance, glued to her husband’s side, and nobody approached her, even though they did not know initially she was his wife beside the expensive ring that shone on her finger. Before Hershel followed, he turned to Rosa.

“Oh, Hershel…” Rosa gasped, her eyes beginning to well up. “I’m so sorry for what has happened. I’m so, so sorry.”

Hershel forced a sad smile, tears threatening onto his face again. “Please do not worry yourself. Everything will be alright, Rosa… I know it will, it has to be.”

She smiled gently at him. “I know it will, Professor.” She breathed. “Luke is such a strong boy... I know he’s going to be alright.” Hershel nodded sadly and looked out towards the building with the sudden realization he had left his hat inside.

“Rosa, could you retrieve my hat from the building and take it back to my office? I left it in the cell.” He said, looking somberly at her for a moment.

“Of course, Professor. Are you and Marina going to be alright?” She asked, concern dotting her features.

“Have no fear, Rosa. I’ll look after Marina and I won’t be leaving Luke unless absolutely necessary. I know Flora and Emmy will want to hear of this as well, could you phone them?” He asked.

“Of course. You take care of your boy.” Rosa said, smiling. Hershel smiled back weakly at her, before he too loaded himself into the ambulance and came to sit on the bench at Luke’s other side. He was attached to many medical devices now, and was already showing slight signs of life, which made Hershel’s heart lurch with anticipation and relief. Marina was leaning over him, much to the dismay of the paramedic as she murmured his name and tried to rouse him. Hershel comforted her momentarily, although he too anxiously wanted Luke to open his eyes. Then, just as the ambulance began to move forwards and the sirens began to blare, Luke’s glazed blue eyes wearily opened after he stirred just a slight. Marina nearly wailed in relief and peppered her husband with comforting words, as Hershel gaped at his apprentice. Luke drowsily reached for Marina, coughing slightly with smudges of blood on his lips as the paramedic turned his head so he would not choke.

“M-Marina… I-I’m sorry…” Luke whispered weakly, embracing his wife best he could. It was clear he was extremely drowsy and wasn’t aware of much that was going on.

As the ambulance shook with movement, Hershel stayed put and continued to stare at Luke, tears returning to his face for the millionth time. He watched the exchange between Luke and Marina, before he finally made himself heard.

“Luke.” Hershel breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he reached forwards and placed a gentle hand in the boy’s hair. “Luke… look at me.”

Luke’s body flinched, almost convulsed, as if the familiarity of Hershel’s voice roused him more than ever. As fast as he could, the man turned his head until he was staring into Hershel’s face. Hatless and utterly tearful, two traits he had just barely witnessed as a boy.

“P-P-Pro-fess… Professor…?” Luke wheezed, his eyes widening and beginning to fill with tears from both pain and shock. “Y-you’re…”

“I’m here. I’m here, my boy. I came to get you, you’re going to be alright.” Hershel choked, leaning forwards a bit more. He stroked gently at Luke’s hair, looking his near-son in his eyes. Luke stared back, as if he felt he was in a dream.

“Pr-ofessor…” Luke rasped once more, suddenly beginning to reach for his mentor. Hershel leaned forward and embraced his apprentice the best he could in the state they were in, careful not to touch any medical devices. Luke shook and began to pitifully cry, almost identical to how he would as a little boy. Hershel held him close, fighting sobs himself.

“I’m here, dear boy. Stay with us.” Hershel said gently into Luke’s ear.

Luke slowly leaned back, but his hands were still reaching. Hershel took one gently and held it in both hands, breathing with repressed sobs as he stared at his apprentice, his little boy, his other half.

“You’re here… you and M-Marina, i-it’s really you…” Luke gasped, looking at him with tearful eyes as Marina reached forwards to hold him close to her. Luke’s tearful eyes searched his mentor’s face. “W-why…?”

Hershel was once again letting warm tears fall freely now as he brought Luke’s hand to his chest, as he said very softly, “I had to come and save my apprentice.”

[wakabond-blog]

PyeongChang Men’s SP Reaction

FOREWARNING: someone remind me to never do this again I literally sweat through my shorts going through this emotional earthquake

I had reservations about doing this reaction post but I’m watching the NBC mini-promos for everyone (cue lil’ kid saying that Javi is his ONLY hero <3) competing tonight and all the feels flooding in.

Also gonna put my dream podium out there in advance so I can lay claim to my fantasies before they possibly flop: Yuzu, Nathan, Javi (in that order for Gold, Silver, and Bronze), but ofc the best scenario is that everyone skates well and leaves the ice happy and the gremlin judges can do whatever. I haven’t watched a lot of the earlier-group men this season, but looking at their music choices I’m pretty excited for Julian Zhi Jie Yee’s Build a Home program (P/C’s 2016 FS from Euros that year still sticks with me) and hopefully Yaroslav hits his 4F. Just writing out everyone’s name is getting me hella nervous

THIRTY ONE GUYS UP 4 HOURS FML LET’S GIT TO IT, first group up on warmup ice: ayyy Vincent hitting a nice 4Lz-3T

AHHH NBC dropping me randomly into Felipe Montoya’s program right into a botched 3F-2T; c’mon man AISH U TOOK AWAY JAVIER RAYA’S SPOT FOR THIS uwu I kinda dig the all white costume tho but must be a binch to find from the audience viewpoint

Chafik Besseghier actually into taximan more than during the Team SP like yeah sure NBC say it’s part of “French creativity” but that taxi look is wonky...points for commitment though, right? 77.01 with all those lil’ green boxes gouda job Chafik; also a note on that French quirky creativity comment anyone else remember Brian Joubert trying to “disprove” people calling him gay by doing a nude photoshoot

MY BOI Vincent Zhou HITS DAT 4Lz-3T first at the Olympics with that 4Lz-3T combo!!! gah other two jumps off-axis but damn he has the hardest technical content but man you gotta deliver all of it including rotations and GOE; also *pushes glasses up* Vincent ~almost~ got a perfect ACT score wat u doing get that 36 (LOL AT THE COMMENTATORS SAYING HIS SIS GOT A PERFECT SCORE); BANG 84.53 with some stubby GOEs I can live with that new season’s best YAAAS u chase those cars

Okay so the announcement for Denis Ten is in English over the loudspeakers but there’s like a little interruption when they just repeat the word “Kazakhstan” but in Korean phonetics; REIGNING BRONZE MEDALIST LET’S GO nope there goes the 4S-->2S, NICE triple axel though!, also loving the royal blue shirt, triple lutz triple NO (sorry had to say that), but the music is great kinda operatic but not like a loud Bocelli; considering his injuries and other hurdles this is alright, his entire season had a rough start ALSO the flower girls have dresses that match the rink so QUTE also Frank Carroll is still not retired mkay

Matteo Rizzo NICE 3A also considering that this is choreo’d by his mom this is great, strong Italian vibes, really good lines, straight camel with the leg position above the hip, good rotation; love the arms out of the 3Lz this would be a program I would want to do OKAY NBC WE GET THAT U NEED A QUAD TO GET ON THE PODIUM but friggin Matteo’s job is to make his mom choreo proud also considering how this is by far the biggest stage he’s been on after dethroning Ivan Righini, dis is gr8

Michael Christian Martinez honestly still love his taking YOI in stride basically Phichit IRL, not a great performance by any means, really low score in the 50s sheesh but hey that signature Biellmann though! this first group was alright still looking ahead

Yaroslav Paniot that was rough :/// also he took out the 4F and fell on all 3 passes (I mean he landed on his knee on the axel but like...what do you even call that?) damn Tammy Gambill coaches him too, into last place :(( it’s okay Yaroslav

Yan Han going for that hard nose blow and tissue grab looks intense LOVE THAT HARD SLAP ON THE BARRIER you got this my man, AHHH yas more Twilight, NICE TRIPLE AXEL BEST SO FAR man was that rotation fast, crap that 4T still looking for a clean toe in this comp; also these SPs are passing really quickly, Vincent still in the lead after Han’s 80.63

Julian Zhi Jie Yee OMGOMGOMG okay excited for this, awww love the shot back to the opening ceremony; love his shirt with the slight slit V not intrusive but modern and sleek LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE it; AHHH THE BEATS OF BUILD A HOME ready for this show off for Malaysia, NICE TRIPLE AXEL he had so much space coming down, maintaining composure, come on GREAT LUTZ halfway mark here come the lyrics and ahhh slipping on the 3F-3T, I think that content should be enough for him to make the FS, lines could be a bit better but his spin levels seem there good for him! Man he really floated on the 3A I’m hoping this’ll go into the low 70s yep 73.58 good score for him

And cue more ice-less places Brendan Kerry kinda attractive in that down-under way, used to be really smol but then hit that caucasian puberty WHOOO first clean 4T of the comp, like the shimmery dark blue shirt, nice 3Lz-3T who needs a quad sal if there’s anything the pairs comp taught us it’s that going clean leaves a greater impression than hard tricks, saved that 3A, this cut of Everybody Wants to Rule the World is so #inspirational someone get me my book of self-affirmations also getting all these coach-skater revelations Nikolai Morozov coaches Kerry?? dang, whoa slots right in behind Vincent with an 83 and change

Moris Kvitelashvili okay who tf put his name as Morisi on the official docs they actually announced his names as that ETERI U ONLY HAVE ONE BOY, bring on the Buble, smooth 3A that flow, def on feelin good on that 4S, after Boyangman’s Spiderman program I’ve grown to have a deeper appreciation for Michael Buble, he’s really tall but one of those lanky awkward guys but eh I give him props for having the gumption to compete for Georgia and getting to compete on Olympic ice

Keegan Messing LOL his intro “actually born in Alaska, proficient Yo-Yo master” aww singin in the rain WOW nice 4T-3T I’m laughin at clouds too Keegan, oof that 3A fall though, very fast spinner no travelling either...okay but seriously can we get RIka Kihira here to give these guys a 3A clinic or something, for a second this really feels like a Javi program, nice 3Lz to finish out the jumps my god I thought his coach was either Eteri/Shawn White c.2010 hair wow 85 taking away the lead from Vincent; 12 men done, 18 left!

This next warmup group Danny wit dat fresh haircut, NBC hyping up the final group omg chill ur horses, Michal with those sleeve ribbons!

Michal Brezina those bedazzled dragons, WOW QUAD sal (okay I thought it was a flip at first), good 3A nothing under review, not to compare but to compare this is like Seimei beta ver., beautiful delayed 3F, also I feel like I hear people clapping along to the drums but I don’t see anyone...it’s prolly the NK cheer squad, this skate should just sneak into 1st, damn his profile sideshot looks like a dinosaur, AWWW RAF lol still surprised by these coaching situations OH BOI lol just into 1st by 0.04 over Keegan

Cha Junhwan c’mon get that gypsy dance on bring the soul of Wakaba to the games (I expect shoulder shimmies), TAKE A DEEEEP breath Brian, wow dicey moment with the 3F-3T but landed flawlessly, even better 3A crowd goes WILDDDD, quick interjection these scores that are starting to pile into the mid-80s are seriously reminding me of the bronze-medal battle in Sochi I mean yeah now there’s a pretty solid list of 5/6 guys for the podium but still..chills..., might have urs but really bringing the energy otherwisein the stsq arms flairs right on the beat of the music (I’ll count those as shimmies) wow first standing O very well deserved all the korean flags!!

Other sidenote you know who’s gonna get more cool team jackets than Marina Zueva? Brian friggin Orser: Canada, Korea, Japan, Spain, Kazakhstan! all those colors!! gotta catch ‘em all and with a score of 83+ Junhwan goes into that pack of mid-80s

Paul Fentz jacksepticeye doppleganger back on the ice, honestly great 3T-3T screw the squad his air position is really good, wow wild like on the 3A but again great air position (honestly this plus straight legs on camel spins are like the must-haves), also loving this jazzy music it works for him, Wonderwall was WUNDERFUL

Interjection of hockey testosterone jeez being a referee in that would be terrifying you’re wearing no padding sheesh

Misha Ge okay srsly what is the point of saying “Uzbekistan” in English and then again in Korean phonetics? not into the brown ombre, good 3A, getting gypsy pirate vibes gawd that spin extension though ta die fo

Cutaway to Yuzu absolutely DESTROYIN that EZ applesauce pouch (okay it’s not applesauce but man is he twistin every last drop out)

And since I’m already doing this huge ass shitpost I might as well comment on some of the commercials, the 23andme thing where Warren Buffett narrates “ill let u choose any car but u only get one you’d take care of it so well right WELL THAT’s UR BODY”...kinda hypocritical coming from a dude who only eats McDs, See’s Candies, Coke and steak...

Jorik Hendrickx awww I actually had no idea his sis Loena made it too, gosh Je Suis Malade reminds me of Adelina’s failed comeback...anyway good 3A to start; I remember how emotional his qualifying through Nebelhorn was enjoy this bb, wow he’s gonna join the mid-80s pack too judges panicking how tf do we separate them AWW Loena clapping so cute and Jorik smiling!! love this

Also screaming about how I can see the final group on my shitpost list getting closer to my cursor *bites nails*

Literally the biggest actual fuqboi of this comp Daniel Samohin is up with a new ‘do that fresh fade also doesn’t he have that company/group thing black wolf white wolf WELL DAMN BLACK WOLF JUST HIT HIS 4T-3T god remember when he destroyed his shoulder at Skate America, whoa first two clean quads of the comp so far who knew flopchild would it get together at the Olympics also classic Daniel guitar solo ay fuq down on the 3A gdi this is why we can’t have nice things LOL also the first skater to finish in the wrong direction, cute lil’ smile at the end though! Also gonna hit the low-80s aww happy tears!!! omg is that Nikolai Morozov yup 80 points and change jeez top 6 all separated by less than 2 points lol

Group 4 on the ice jeez those short sleeves SLAY BOI LOL THESE ADAM PROMOS literally all of the vernacular “fierce, I’m a full prone monster” *smizes* okay I’m going for a walk and hope to be back by Deniss see ya’ll in a quick sec and good luck to the first five in this group...but srsly I gotta get up or else risk carpal tunnel at this point </3

Adam Rippon, Dmitri Aliev

Okay jk I made it back for Patrick Chan midway through his performacne looks like his first couple jump elements were good supposedly missed his 3A he looks really tense damn PChiddy it’s alright (sidenote his chest looks bigger than I remember), also ofc Dimi is in the lead now with a tech score over 50

Keiji Tanaka, Alexei Bychenko both happened but I took a shower to be clean for some clean skates

Also isn’t it crazy how Deniss is literally skating right before Yuzu man those world standings were a bit of a surprise at first Deniss Vasiljevs (jk my shower also overran his performance so I’m looking at the protocols rn but hey, good thing is my energy’s now conserved for GROUP 6!)

YESS NBC showing (at least part of) the warmup; Javi hits a BOSS 4S so smooth; Nathan’s smiling, Yuzu looks healthy! my god seeing all the faves on ice together warming up at the OLYMPIC stage is just *clutches chest* a lil’ too much for a casual Thursday evening; okay one more set of commercials and we are off to the RACES!!!

Yuzuru Hanyu TAKES THE ICE the first bars of Ballade a personal fave piece, breatheee, head roll, sway,ohmigod you could hear the sound of a pin dropping, come one quad sal to open...YES OH MY GOD NICE 13 POINTS!!! for that one element, great donut spin, 1 2 3 1 2 3 getting all of his levels ofc great character in spins timed to music, love the sound of his blades BLIND MOHAWK INTO 3A TRADEMARK HIT IT’S HAPPENING ONLY THE COMBO LEFT IS HE GONNA DO THE RIPPON ON THE END YES NICE HE HIT IT OH MY FUQQIN GOD THE POOHS THE OBAACHANS IN THE AUDIENCE THIS IS SERIOUSLY MAGICAL BEAT THAT WOWOWOW THE POOH BEARS RAIN DOWN AGAIN I have never seen so many thrown down at once at him DAMN; this is a true champion, my god yes yes YES!!!! my god I don’t know how get got that 3T WITH RIPPON out at the end lol Ghislain Briand and B Orser jumping; WORLD RECORD GIVE IT TO HIM NEVER DOUBT YU.ZU.RU. HAN.YU; BAM 111 triple ONES BEAT THAT YESS AND HE’S SMILING

OKay okay I gotta calm down for Nathan Chen the Poohs are cleared, yes this is a POTO costume but he looks good; GOD DAMN IT CAMERAMAN YOU MISSED THE FUQQIN DIP YOU HAD ONE JOB ARGHHHH, blade sounds are louder than YUZUS BUT HERE COMES THE 4LZ...OH SHIT MY GOD AND THE QUAD TOE JESUS FUCKING HELL IT WASN’T A COMBO either wow...I’m speechless..come one Nate finish it out finish it out OH FUCKING...33 TECHSCoRE?!?!?!?!?!? He’s still breathing though, looks alright, okay he’s still honestly so young and I understand he exudes this chill outlook which is great but all the pressure had to have gotten him (or he just got unlucky with this bad day :///) nerves?? I know there’s still the free skate left but I want him to walk away from all this feeling okay, not hating skating or anything and making a comeback (hopefully??) in Beijing and maybe having a Chloe Kim kind of moment OH FUQ 13th place 82+...my god

Mikhail Kolyada actually shaking his head after seeing Nathan’s scores we’re all shocked buddy; but skate well hit that sky-high lutz loving your mozart, come on come one; okay triple honestly I just don’t want to see any more thuds on the ice that’s good oh fuck...4T a goner out of the four disciplines this is the one that has the least assured gold medalist and maybe that’s contributing to the nerves? It’s okay Mikhail, your 3A was pretty, and YAY GOT A SMILEY SPASIBO y’know at the Olympics all I can hope for as a spectator is that everyone skates happy and goes as big and clean as possible and leaves happy or at least not too hard on themselves and I know that’s easy to say but so much of sports/life in general is psychological and it just pains me to think of how these guys might react to this under-delivered performances

Shoma Uno smolma please whisk us away with Winter, literally gonna bounce the fuq off of Shrooma if he lands everything please save this; NICE 4F, lines ofc can’t compete with Hanyu but you know...World Silver...he’s got the goods, get those clean edges, skating skills, stsq levels, okay 4T YES YES YES 3T great my god SHOMA SAVES THE TRIPLE AXEL PRAISE AWWWW THE SMILE!!!!! FUCKING MELTING FOR THIS DARK HORSE WHO BTW IS WORLD SILVER REIGNING, MY GOD THIS IS CLUTCH; AND HE HAS HIGHLIGHTS TAKE THAT BINCH, ugh I’m so conflicted right now with all of these flops and clean skates and my head is muddled guessing 106 okay okay lowballed the components gets a 104 also had to save a couple landings I get it but THOSE THUNDERTHIGHS SAVING THE DAY

Javier Fernandez oh please please please all I want is for you to bring home a medal GIVE US CHAPLIN GIVE US 4S AND 4T3T THIS IS YOUR CHANCE GO FOR IT, NICE ON THE COMBO, NICE 4S HOLY HELL ALSO SHOUTOUT TO MY MOM FOR RECOGNIZING THIS AS CHAPLIN U KNOW HE’S DOING HIS JOB and that AMAZING TRIPLE AXEL; so lovely oh my god this is beautiful, tbh I think my mom is actually falling in love with him “his costume looks so good on him O.O” she’s predicting he’ll win and my mom is like...never wrong so...okay tech score just exactly 60, I’m hoping 109 range oh my god GIVE HIM THE PCS IF NOT FOR HIM FOR MY MOM OH MY GOD

HYPING UP Jin Boyang for my mom okay come on GIVE US THAT CROUCHING TIGER MAGIC, LORI CHOREO DO UR FUQQIN $10K MAGIC, AMAZING 4LZ-3T, ONE OF THE BEST 4T, OG QUAD KING TARA MENTION THAT YES YES *DOES MERYL MEME POINTING FINGERS*, BEAT DRUM DROP, ERHU  YES THAT 3A OH MY GOD YES YES YES JIN GO GO GO YES THE KARATE HANDS IN THE SIT SPIN, WORD THE STSQ YOU’RE GETTING ALL OF THE LEVELS GO GO GO THIS IS YOUR LAST ELEMENT HIT THE POSES GET THE EDGES GET THE TURNS KICK TWIZZLES BUTTERFLY KICK YES FIST PUMP YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS MY GOD YES GIVE HIM A SCORE TO COMPETE WITH SHOMA 104+, okay okay I can work with 103.32

Okay wow so heading into the FS tomorrow:

-Nathan, get that redemption skate, go big, go clean, love it, love yourself

-Yuzuru: bring that Seimei power, work your natural magic, be yourself, keep the intensity, and just let it flow

-Javi: VAMOS VAMOS VAMOS BE QUIXOTE, get your own redemption from Sochi (also lol I don’t think it matters what happens in the end but you’ve already won in my mother’s heart)

-Shoma: SHOOM SHOOM INTO OUR HEARTS EVEN MORE, channel your 2017 Worlds Diva moment, do it do it DO IT

-Boyang: BRING THE STAR WARS HIT US WITH THAT ANGELIC SAUCE

[mapleleafstrash]

Offbeat (Part Four) - Auston Matthews

A/N: Here you go! Sorry for the wait but I hope you enjoy!! :)

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: Auston Matthews (Feat. Connor Brown, Morgan Rielly, William Nylander, Zach Hyman, Mitch Marner, and Kasperi Kapanen)

Words: 4,402

Warnings: Language

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven]

It was a restless night.

You woke up about ever hour, either due to your discomfort, or because of your rampant running mind. It was a hot night in the cottage, and you knew based on your lack of clothing and sheets that you probably weren't the only one struggling to get comfortable. Connor would no doubt be turning on the proper air conditioning system in the morning. But besides the sticky humidity in your bedroom, you couldn't help but stare at the wall that connected to the room that held Auston, Morgan, and William.

You had no idea what was going on between you and Auston, but one thing was for sure, you didn't like it. You'd never once been uncomfortable around him, but now, it felt like you were walking on egg shells. You blamed him for the most part. After all, it had been his intrusive behaviour that had started all this. But you didn't know how to approach the situation. Did you just talk to him like always? Or, did you just hope it would all blow over? Time would tell.

Around five thirty, you decided to give up. Rather than try to get back to sleep, you instead got dressed into your board shorts and bathing suit top, and pulled on a large hoodie over top. You had planned to head back out to the marina to go to the boat dealership to purchase a new turbine for the seadoo.

Grabbing the keys for the boat that were hung up by the deck's sliding door, and making sure to take your phone and wallet, you slipped into your sandals and headed outside towards the lake. Walking down the hill, you carefully watched your steps due to the sun just beginning to rise. The sounds of birds and the surrounding wildlife brought a calming aura, and you relished the moment of absolute peace.

Once you got to the boat house, you opened the large bay door before hoping into Connor's boat. Turning the ignition on, you slowly exited the structure, and headed around to the open bay. Just as you were about to take off, you jumped in surprise when you noticed a sleepy looking Auston Matthews laying on the end of the dock.

Raising an eyebrow, you pulled up along side the dock and stared towards the Arizona native. Obviously hearing the boats engine, Auston had turned his attention towards you. Pulling out his earbud and sitting up slightly, Auston's brown eyes looked towards you inquisitively.

"I didn't think you were a morning person Y/N," he spoke, and you scoffed, "I could say the same thing about you,"

"Couldn't sleep," Auston then answered blandly, as he reached into his pocket to grab his phone, effectively shutting his music off.

You nodded in understanding, before belooking away and out into the vast lake. The shop would open at six thirty, giving you just enough time to drive on over to the marina to get there first. Pursing his lips, Auston sighed, and shook his hair, "going somewhere?"

"Machine shop," you replied shortly, "I need to get the turbine,"

"Don't you need to take the whole thing in?" Auston then asked, referring to Connor's damaged seadoo and looking towards you in confusion.

You shrugged, "I can fix it myself, it won't be too hard,"

Eyes widening slightly, Auston quickly covered his surprise by once again playing coy. "I see," he nodded, as he pulled his left leg back and stood up, stuffing his hands into his short pockets.

"Did you want to come?" you then asked, cocking your head to the side and firming your lips.

"I've got nothing better to do," Auston then shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

"Well I'm leaving, so it's now or never," you declared, raising your eyebrows challengingly.

Auston sighed, before crouching down and gripping the side of the boat with his large hands. Stepping over, Auston landed solidly down into the vessel and you then turned away, pulling the throttle and whisking the two of you off towards the marina.

The twenty-minute ride to the lake's biggest market was quiet. You kept your head positioned forward, staring out into the dark water as the sun began rising. It almost looked as if the water was sparkling, as it shined in all its mystifying glory.

You didn't dare let your eyes wonder to the man sitting only feet next to you. You could feel Auston's burning gaze lingering on your figure, but you just couldn't bring yourself to look back.

Not that you were playing cold, you just didn't want to give him any more power then he already held over you. Even though the past twenty-four hours had been rocky between the two of you, you weren't exactly sure if this was the right time to discuss what had transpired. It was early and you were both tired. That's not a good combo for a heated discussion.

But Auston wasn't having it.

"Are you even going to talk to me?" He suddenly questioned, breaking the silence while his voice dripped with malice.

Sighing, your eyes shifted to your left and you stared towards Auston. Raising an eyebrow, you scoffed, "Are you? Now you want to talk? Yeah, okay Auston,"

"Y/N," Auston groaned, snapping his head back in aggravation.

"Hey, you started this, you were the one who got all weird," you defended, rolling your eyes as you concentrated back onto the lake.

"I did not get weird," Auston bit back and you laughed in disbelief.

"Then what would you call yesterday? Huh? Because I would love to know," you spoke, causing Auston to roll his eyes and cross his arms.

"What did you expect me to do?" He questioned and you opened your mouth in shock, "I don't know, slam the door shut and pretend it never happened. Not come in and friggin' undress me with your eyes!" you snapped.

Auston smirked at that, causing your blood to boil, "well you had already taken care of that yourself,"

"Auston!" You shrieked, "this isn't funny!"

He then sighed, "fine, you're right. But, I don't know, okay? It just happened. I guess, I just, I'd never really seen you like that before and I just-"

He then paused, and you raised your eyebrow. So, it was just a joke, you were just something for him to gawk at. You knew it. Crossing your arms, your stomach sunk and you suddenly felt ill. You were just a joke to him. Of course you were. You had suspected correctly.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but he closed it just as fast, causing you to become frustrated, "Just what?"

"You looked nice okay!" he finally fired out before turning away and crossing his arms.

You blinked.

Nice? You looked, nice?

You were dumbfounded, "yeah, okay. Sure, I looked so nice wearing nothing and looking like a drowned rat," you muttered, feeling more hurt. He didn't have to lie.

Auston sighed, and looked towards you, sympathy etched across his features. "Maybe that wasn't the right word, but, you looked different Y/N. A good different. I just, I'd never seen you look so, vulnerable. You looked, and I don't mean any offence to this, but you looked like a girl, and I saw you in a way that I'd never seen you before, and I mean that in the nicest way possible."

Nodding, you allowed his words to sink into you.

"I mean, I've always seen you as just one of the guys, but now,"

Biting your lip, you closed your eyes. You weren't sure if you actually wanted to hear him now. You feared the worst possible situation, which was his opinion changing of you. You didn't want to lose him as a friend, even if it meant never having a chance in hell with him. You'd rather be his friend then nothing. Once again, your insecurities had overruled.

Tightening your grip on the boats wheel, you sighed, "It's fine Auston," you finally spoke, "you don't have to explain,"

Auston sighed, and looked away yet again. He felt guilt swirling within him. He wanted to tell you, confess to you how beautiful he had thought you looked. With your exposed skin glistening, and your bright Y/E/C eyes staring back at him wide. Oh, how he had wished the small white towel you had been clutching so tightly had disappeared completely. He wanted to say how had been entranced by your hour-glass shaped body; your hips curving in and out to reveal your feminine figure. How he had noticed your long legs, showing off your flawless pale skin. How he had just caught a glimpse of your pert breasts. How for the first time, he had seen you as a woman, a gorgeous one at that.

But he didn't. He couldn't. He was afraid, embarrassed even. He wasn't supposed to see you like that. To him, you had always been Y/N, Connor Brown's best friend. But now, he was viewing you as something else completely. He felt almost remorseful for suddenly finding you attractive. Not only did he feel like he was disrespecting Connor, but he felt as if he was disrespecting you. Which was why he had tried to back off.

But you were different then any other girl Auston had been with. You were bigger, sure. But he liked that. He liked how you were unique, and he liked how your body enveloped that of a curvy feminine figure. He almost berated himself for not seeing you like this sooner. But you had never shown your body off in front of him before, and as much as Auston wanted to forget about seeing you exposed, he just couldn't.

Once you pulled up to the marina, you shut the engine off and made sure to tie the three ropes up tightly against the dock. You didn't want another replay of yesterday all over again. Auston rolled his eyes at that, but silently understood.

Hopping off the boat, you didn't wait for Auston, and took off towards the small machine shop that was across the way. Hearing his heavy footsteps increase quickly off the wooden dock, Auston caught up with you, and fell into line with you, the both of you walking side by side.

A small bell rang when you pushed the shops door open, causing the young worker standing behind the counter to look up, mild surprise appearing on his face due to it being so early. Walking forward, you leaned up against the counter while Auston stood stagnant behind you, surveying the small shop in curiosity.

"Y/N?" the worker asked as he blinked, wonder evident in his voice.

Narrowing your eyes, you then smiled in realization once you recognized the man standing across from you, "Toby? Wow it's been a while,"

That caught Auston's attention, as he suddenly stood up next to you.

"I'd say, it's been what? Five years?" he questioned and you nodded, "something like that,"

You'd known Toby since you were about thirteen years old. His family used to own one of the cottages across the bay from Connor's, so you often hung out with him over the summers. He was a year younger then yourself, but you had always gotten along fine.

"You back up here with Connor?" Toby inquired, trying to make light conversation.

"Yeah, he brought a lot of our friends up for the long weekend," you explained.

Toby smiled, "that sounds cool."

"Yeah, this is Auston, one of Connor's teammates," you then said, motioning towards the stoic man standing next to you.

Toby's eyes widened slightly in realization, "Auston Matthews, wow, I'm a big fan. What you did this year was absolutely sick man,"

Auston nodded, pursing his lips and you rolled your eyes at his rudeness.

"Pardon Miss. Manners here, he's a bit grumpy in the mornings," you joked, causing Auston to send you a look and Toby to chuckle, "It's fine. Totally understandable. So, what brings you in here today?" he then asked, looking between both you and Auston.

"I need a turbine for one of Connor's seadoo's. It's the Zx9 turbo I believe, it's a 2012," you explained, and toby nodded, "the purple one, right?"

"That's the one," you smiled, glad to know he knew what you were talking about.

"Wasn't that the one you always drove?" Toby asked in amusement.

You sighed, "yeah, it may have hit a rock going around Peter's Point yesterday," you chuckled awkwardly, shifting on your feet.

"It did? Or you did?" he questioned, sending you a smirk.

"I did actually," Auston then spoke up, crossing his arms.

"Oh," Toby muttered, nodding slightly.

"So, did you bring it with you, or?" Toby asked, referring to the seadoo.

"Nah, I'm going to spend the morning working on it," you explained, causing Toby to smile as he typed the part number into his computer.

"You always were good with that type of stuff," he mused, before he turned and walked out from behind the desk, and towards the back wall of the shop. Walking with him, Toby grabbed a small step stool and reached up to grab the turbine, which was wrapped in a plastic bag.

"This should fit," Toby then spoke, handing you the bag. "It's from the 2013 model since we only carry five years back, but it shouldn't make a difference,"

"Thanks," you grinned, as you followed him back to pay.

Scanning the bar code, Toby typed a bit more on the key board before he looked back up towards you. "Alright, did you need anything else with that?"

You shook you head and he nodded. "Alrighty, that's going to be three hundred and thirty-five dollars,"

Your stomach lurched and your eyes widened slightly. You knew it wasn't necessarily going to be cheap but you didn't think it was going to be that expensive. Sighing, you pulled your debit card out from your pocket, signalling for the interac machine.

Placing it down, Toby pressed the proper buttons to ring up the price, but before you could insert your card, Auston had beat you to it.

"Auston," you complained, giving him a look.

"I'll pay for it, I did it, remember?" he then spoke, as he inserted his credit card and punched in his pin.

"But I said I'd fix it," you gritted out, causing Auston to roll his eyes, "Y/N, you have school to pay for and rent, I'm not worried about this,"

Sighing, you crossed your arms and looked away. You noticed Auston smirk slightly due to him getting his way.

Passing him the receipt, Toby and you said your goodbye's, with him promising to shoot you a facebook message to plan a day where you both could hang out to catch up. Sending him a smile with a nod of agreement, you then followed Auston out of the shop and back down to the docks.

"I'll find a way to pay you back," you suddenly spoke, as you made your way back to the boat.

Auston sighed, "I already told you, I'm not worried about it Y/N, besides this is all my fault anyways,"

"Well, did you maybe want to grab some coffee or something? My treat?" you suggested, wanting to at least pay him back somehow. Auston pursed his lips and you gave him a bright smile, hoping to guilt him into it.

He groaned, and pinched the bridge of his nose. You could tell he was over tired, but he was doing his best not to get overly grumpy with you. “Fine,” he muttered, giving in.

You grinned, and reached around to give Auston a quick hug. With your arms wrapped around his waist, you pulled away before Auston had the chance to realize what had just happened. Taking the turbine from him, you jogged down the dock and placed the part safely into the boat before you made you way back. Grabbing his wrist, you pulled Auston along with you, as you made your way into the small café that was next to the Marina's well-known restaurant.

Walking in, your stomach immediately growled in hunger from the smell of the fresh pastries. Staring at the large food case, your mouth watered as you stared towards the croissants and muffins. An older lady smiled and sent you a warm greeting from behind the counter before she made her way to her cash register, ready to take your order.

"I'll have an iced caramel latte, and one of your chocolate croissants please," you requested, and the woman nodded, punching your order in.

Auston pursed his lips and placed his hand under his chin as he looked towards the menu. Laughing on the inside as you and the lady both waited for him, you sent him a smirk. Sighing, Auston shook his head, "I'll have a blueberry muffin, and a, umm,"

"He'll have an iced americano, light cream, and two honeys," you spoke for him, causing him to look towards you in surprise. The woman giggled and nodded, punching Auston's order in as well.

"That'll be eleven forty-nine," she said and you pulled your debit card out once again, and flashed it towards her, before you tapped the machine to pay.

As you stood on the end of the bar and waited for your drinks, Auston leaned up against the counter next to you. Pulling out small pieces of his muffin from it's pastry bag, Auston munched away, obviously feeling hungry.

"So, how'd you know that was my regular?" Auston questioned, and you smiled slightly, turning towards him.

"You didn't think I'd remember that? How many times have we gotten coffee together?" you laughed, shaking your head at him. Auston's lips just curved upwards, accepting your answer.

"There you go," the café attendant spoke, as she set your two iced drinks down onto the counter-top.

"Thank you, have a nice day," you said, flashing her a smile as you grabbed your coffee's and handed Auston his, before you headed back outside.

The ride back to the cottage was much more relaxed this time around. The awkwardness between you and Auston had seemed to diminish greatly. You felt much more comfortable in his presence and you both chatted lightly on your way back. You were relieved to say the least. You were just glad the both of you were back on track.

When you got back, Auston helped you dock the boat, and you taught him how to properly knot the ropes. He seemed to appreciate the lesson and was happy to contribute, even if it was just in a small way. Once you boarded the dock, you grabbed the turbine and walked down towards the damaged purple seadoo. Placing the part down, you headed back to the boat house to grab some tools, including a wrench, a screwdriver and a few bolts.

"did you need help?" Auston questioned, once you returned.

You shrugged, "it's fine, it'll just take me a bit. But thanks anyways," you said, sending him a grateful smile.

"Alright, well I think I'm going to try and take a nap or something, I can't believe it's only after eight," Auston sighed, stifling a yawn.

"No worries, I'll see you later," you spoke, "and thanks again for the help, I really appreciate it," you reminded, thanking him again for paying for the turbine.

Auston nodded with a small smile. He then surprised you by pulling you into a side hug. "It's fine Y/N, just be careful," Auston said, referring to your repair job. Returning his hug, you nodded and squeezed him back with your right arm, before he pulled away and made his way back up to the cottage.

Around an hour later, you were still on the dock, but you were laying off the edge. With the back of the seadoo perched up in the air, you had finally gotten the broken turbine off the machine. Sighing, you leaned back fully and stared up at the blue sky. It had been much more difficult then you had expected it to be.

Your blue-sky view was suddenly covered when the face of Morgan Rielly appeared over you. Cocking an eyebrow, your close friend looked down towards you questionably, "rough go?"

You snorted, "what's up Morgan?" you asked, as you sat up properly and he shrugged before taking a seat next to you.

"I just wanted to see what you were up to," Morgan said, and you nodded.

"Everyone else is asleep, aren't they?" you then asked, smirking towards him and he laughed, "fine, you caught me. And no, not everyone is asleep, the activities of a certain couple in the room next to ours woke me up to be honest,"

You scrunched your nose in distaste, "ew,"

"Yeah, ew," Morgan chuckled, shaking his head.

"Auston's asleep?" you asked, and Morgan nodded, before giving me a knowing look, "yes, lover boy is passed out like a baby,"

You scoffed, before shoving him slightly, "he came out early with me this morning, so I was just wondering if he actually fell asleep," you explained and Morgan nodded unconvinced, "yeah, yeah, sure, sure,"

Sighing, you rolled your eyes. Morgan just chuckled to himself, as he looked towards you. "What?" you asked, sending him a look.

Morgan smirked, "oh nothing, you're just glowing, that's all,"

"Glowing?" you questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm assuming you patched things up with Auston, because you haven't been this peppy the entire time we've been here," Morgan explained.

"We're better," you said, before leaning up and moving back towards the seadoo, wanting to avoid the subject.

"That's good," Morgan said, shuffling up towards you.

You nodded, as you grabbed the new turbine and placed it onto the seadoo's motor. Hand starting the bolts, you then grabbed the wrench and began turning them into place. As you finished up, you stood and reached your arms up to stretch.

"Want to help me get it back into the water?" you asked, and Morgan obliged, standing up beside you to help you lower the machine back down into the lake. Once you got it in, you grabbed the scattered tools, along with the old turbine and took them into the boat house. Reappearing, you held the seadoo's keys in your hand as you stepped onto the newly repaired machine.

"I'm just going to take it for a test drive," you told Morgan, who nodded towards you. "Don't worry, I'll come get you if something happens,"

You grinned and chuckled, as you started the motor up, "why thank you Morgan,"

Looking back, you sighed with relief, "Well there's no black smoke," you observed, as you stared at the engine. Morgan nodded in agreement, and ushered for you to drive.

Pulling away, you revved the engine slightly before you grabbed the throttle and took off around the bay. Giving you a thumbs up from the dock, signalling everything looked good, Morgan grinned and you cheered on the inside, glad you'd been able to repair Connor's seadoo.

"I'll add mechanic to your list of trades Y/N," Morgan joked once you returned.

"Well, I'm just glad it's fixed," you admitted, as you stepped back onto the dock and tied the seadoo securely to the wooden deck.

"Y/N! Morgan!"

Both you and your friend looked up towards the cottage, to see a shirtless William waving at the both of you from up top on the deck. "Come up here! Brownie made breakfast!"

"But I already ate," you whined in complaint as Morgan dragged you back up to the cottage with him.

"Morning!" Connor chirped happily once you came through the patio door.

"Morning," you replied, as you took a seat at the kitchen table alongside Morgan, while William took a spot next to you and Mitch and Zach sat on the opposite side.

"Is anyone else awake?" You questioned, and Zach nodded mid-chew, "Lannah and Mads went for a walk, and Auston's still sleeping,"

"And I already mentioned that Kas was preoccupied, remember?" Morgan then whispered to you, and you flushed in understanding. Great.

"You gonna eat?" Mitch questioned, as he took another helping of the scrambled eggs that were in a dish in front of you. Connor had laid out quite the spread, which included bacon, toast, eggs, and fried potatoes.

"I ate earlier," you explained and Mitch shrugged, taking more food.

"When?" Connor questioned, giving you a look of disbelief.

"When I went out to buy the turbine for the seadoo," you explained, and your ginger friend dropped his fork.

"You already did that?" Connor asked, looking surprised.

"It's all fixed too, I watched her, and she took it out for a spin and it looks good to me," Morgan added, adding some insurance to your story.

"Jesus, its what? Nine thirty? How long have you been up?" Connor asked, looking towards you in surprise.

"I didn't really sleep to be honest," you shrugged, "so I headed out around six thirty, and Toby opened up the shop at seven and I was back by eight,"

Connor nodded, "I didn't even notice,"

"It's fine, I'm just happy it's fixed," you replied.

"How much was it?" Connor then asked, as his teammates continued to eat.

"Three thirty-five I believe," you said, and Connor's eyes bugged out of his head.

"Seriously? And you paid for it?" He questioned, sounding shocked.

"Well I tried, but Auston insisted," you replied, and Connor looked taken aback.

"Auston went with you? 'Mr. Wake me up and I'll kill you' actually rolled out of bed before dawn? Wow, Auston must really like you," Mitch spoke up, causing both Morgan and William to chuckle low from either side of you, the latter sending you a light jab to your side.

"I guess," you shrugged, playing his comment off, but everyone sat at the table knew otherwise. 

"Well, serves him right, that's what he gets for breaking my seadoo," Connor sighed, causing Zach to hum from next to him.

"So, what's the plan today?" Morgan then asked, and everyone collectively shrugged.

"Well, Y/N is coming shopping with us," you heard Madison's voice echo from behind you. Connor's eyes looked up from his plate and you turned towards her, who stood with Alannah, and surprisingly Annika. 

"I am?" you questioned, raising a brow.

Alannah and Annika grinned, while Madison nodded with a smirk, "uh huh, you definitely are,"

Oh boy.

[gryffvndors]

oh, baby [draco malfoy]

request: “Could u do Draco x reader with prompts 97 and 103 please? It would be so interesting plus I love your writing. You're so cool xoxo” -anon

word count: ~3000

a/n: why thank u anon, i AM pretty cool! (kidding im actually SO lame like u dont even know omG) anyway i wrote this at like 3 am and im posting it at 5 am so. i’m a few hours late (like a day actually but who’s counting, NOT ME) but happy bday to the real OG man draco malfoy! now enjoy this hot mess of sleep deprivation, angst, snark, and marina and the diamonds inspiration

97: “i don’t want to have a baby.”

103: “i had to see you again.”

When you were twelve, your grandfather died.

(Sometimes you still hear his voice, late at night, when your window is open a crack and the wind is whistling against the glass, making the tree branches outside of your room shake. You sit up straight, eyes wide, clutching your duvet in your fists. You usually come to the conclusion you were dreaming in your half-asleep state of mind and drift back off, only to recall nothing the following morning.)

You don’t remember much; while you weren’t exactly too young, you moreso blocked the memories from your mind. You do remember holding your mother as she wept into your shirt, face blank, eyes cast to the ground. You remember sneaking around your house in the middle of the night, creeping upon the pinprick of light that casted out from behind the door of your father’s study. Putting your eye against the crack between the floor and the wood, you only saw pacing feet. You remember your grandmother frequenting your house many times, usually around dinner, when she would join you. Just you - your mother would not leave her bed, your father would not leave his office. She smiled at you with glassy eyes and tearstained cheeks, slipping you a piece of candy after you were refused a bowl of ice cream. Not so much refused, actually - just ignored, for your mother would not leave the pile of blankets she called home and your father would not answer the door.

It was a rough time. The rough period lasted for a good few months, until your father threw a few cardboard boxes in your room and grunted, “Pack up your things. We’re leaving.”

Days later, you stood in front of one of the largest houses you’d ever seen. Your father, holding hands with your mother for the first time in years, smiled and laid a hand on your shoulder.

“This is our new home,” he’d announced. “When your grandfather died-”

You coughed, scowling at the brick driveway.

“-your mother inherited the house from him. He handed me the business. We’re rich now. Go, choose your bedroom.”

You chose the bedroom with the most windows. The house was dark inside, curtains drawn and candles lit. You traveled down the many hallways and didn’t stop until you found at least two windows.

That summer, as you explored the neighborhood (mostly just trees and a long, winding paved road that no cars ever drove down), lonely, you finally came upon another mansion, this one even bigger than your own. There was a boy outside, staring at the ground with a frown. You approached him tentatively. At the sound of your footsteps, he turned, frown twisting into an even deeper scowl.

“Who are you?” He called, voice laced with authority and scorn. When you said your name, he scoffed. “You aren’t one of us. Go away. We don’t want your kind here.”

You planted your hands on your hips, brows raises. “My… kind?”

“Yes. Go away.”

“What if I don’t want to? I’m not on your property. Therefore, I have a right to be here,” you smirked triumphantly, chin raised. The boy muttered something under his breath.

“Your kind is so annoying. Just get out of here.” He looked behind him, towards the door. When he looked back, his expression was one of concern. “My parents don’t like me talking to you people. If they catch me, we’ll both be in trouble. Save both of our arses and go back home. Where do you live, anyway?”

You pointed behind you. “Some mansion back there.”

He smiled then. Well, more of a smirk than a smile, but you were just glad he wasn’t upset anymore. It had been weeks since you talked to people your own age. Even if he was rude, he was still your age.

“So you’re rich, then?”

You shrugged. “I guess so. I don’t really care about money.”

“Don’t care about money? How could you not care about money?”

“I just don’t. There are more important things in the world. Like… chocolate,” you grinned, leaning against the nearest tree. You stuffed your hands into the pockets of your shorts. “I have loads at my house. Would you like some?” He seemed vaguely intrigued, but unsure. You added, “I know you’re not supposed to talk with… my ‘kind’,” you made air quotes, “but I will keep my lips sealed if you keep yours sealed.”

The boy finally muttered, “Fine. But I am only coming because I want chocolate.” He climbed over the fence and followed you back to your mansion. Halfway there, you asked him his name. Grumbling, he said, “I’m Draco Malfoy.”

He disappeared during the school year but, without fail, he always showed up over the summer. When you asked him about his school, all he said was that he went to some boarding school in Scotland. You didn’t “bond” over summers, really, but before you knew it, you found yourself looking forward to seeing him. You didn’t kiss him until you were fifteen, cheeks rosy from running around in the woods. It was a spur of the moment thing - you weren’t surprised when he left immediately, not showing up for a week. When he saw you, though, he pushed you up against a tree and pressed his lips against your neck, muttering something about how disappointed his parents would be. You only grinned and said, “Well, I find it very entertaining to disappoint my parents, don’t you?” He pulled away and rolled his eyes, but kissed you again anyway.

The summer of the year you were sixteen, you snuck him inside your bedroom for the night. He snuck back out before dawn, pressing a kiss to your forehead and mumbling a goodbye. You faked being asleep.

When he was seventeen, he told you he could do magic. He told you about his world, why his parents would be so disappointed, who he was. Instead of yelling at him for being crazy, like he thought you would, you kissed him hard and tangled your hands in his hair, laughing at the word “muggle”. He changed a simple wildflower to a bird with a wave of his wand, then changed the bird to a bouquet of roses. You teased him for being so sappy. When you got home, you stuck the roses in a vase of water and left them on your nightstand.

The thing with falling in love is that it’s like you’re standing at the edge of a cliff, holding onto invisible railings. All of a sudden, the railing is gone, and you’re lurching over the side, falling, falling, twisting in midair - until you finally hit the ground, a broken body in the broken world you live in. It’s opening your mouth to take a breath, but your lungs suddenly fail, the only thing you inhale being smoke and ash and the smog that hangs in the horizon. It’s opening your heart, your most vulnerable place, your secrets, and leaving it out in the open, the only security blanket your hopes and words asking for nobody to harm it. It’s crazy. It’s wild. It’s when you can’t sleep at night, can’t eat in the morning, can’t think ever.

The night Draco tells you about his magic, you sneak him into your room again. This isn’t the second time, this isn’t the last time - but something is different. Something is… more intimate, really. It’s like you’ve opened the floodgates and a whole wave of emotions come, not caring about the destruction it leaves in its wake.

Falling in love is being completely and utterly at the disposal of the soul before you.

And you can’t do anything about it.

“So you’re leaving in a week?” You ask, mouth dry. Draco nods, his fingers laced in his lap. His hair is messy, shirt untucked, which is rare for him, the proper git he is. Your hand itches at your side to smooth out the blond. “Oh. Well, you’ll be back soon.”

“A year,” he laughs humorlessly, looking anywhere but your face. You sigh, dropping onto the ground. The dry leaves crack and snap under the weight of your body. You rest a hand on his shoulder. He still refuses to look at you.

You wish this is easier. This… isn’t easy. This is harder than anything you’ve done before. Deep in your mind, deep, deep down, you know this is the right thing to do. He has a right to know. He… has a say in this. But that doesn’t tell the nerves eating at your stomach to stop chewing, or your frantically beating heart to slow down a bit, it’s okay. It will be okay. It has to be okay. He… is nice.

He’s actually kind of a prick, but he means well.

You clear your throat. A second later, you hear yourself saying, “I have to talk to you about something.”

“We’re talking right now, aren’t we?”

“This is… important,” you take a deep breath. “Very, very important. This is the most important thing we have ever talked about.”

Draco looks at you then, an amused expression on his face. “Most important? What, do I not exist? What about the fact that I’m a bloody wizard?”

You swallow. It feels like there’s something in your throat. You realize it’s the words you’re about to say - you have to force them down, keep calm, keep the situation under control. This is not the time for word vomit. This is the time for collected speaking. This is the time for-

“I’m pregnant,” you blurt.

Fuck.

Draco whips around. His slate eyes are wide, lips parted. You hear him say, “You’re what?!”

“You’re the only person I shag. So.” Out of the corner of your eye (you’re staring at the ground so hard, your vision is blurring), Draco is tugging at his blond hair. You think you might want to do that, too. Instead, you keep your hands balled at your side. “So,” you repeat. “So. It’s. It’s yours.”

“Oh my - fuck, Merlin, fuck,” he drops off the log he was previously sitting on to your side. His hands find yours, fingers fitting into the crevices you feel that, well, they were meant to. It’s like a puzzle, really, and in your mind, it works. This jigsaw the two of you make, anyway. Like, you’re kind of a bitch and he’s kind of a dick, so it works. And you’re pretty emotionally numb and. Well. His family situation is so bad he might as well be.

“Yeah,” you laugh shakily. This isn’t funny. You don’t know why you’re laughing, so you do it again. “Yeah. I. Um. I am. For, like, two months. I thought I was just gaining weight. And my. Uh. Period has always been kinda irregular, so. I took a test.”

“And you’re…”

“Yeah,” you nod. You can’t look into his eyes. You can’t look at his face, or you might burst into tears. “Yeah, yeah. There’s a fucking baby is my stomach. Well. Uterus, really, but, uh. Somewhere down there.”

Draco is deadly silent for a good few minutes. You are, too. You don’t speak. You wait for him to say something, anything. Finally, he wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulls you into his side.

“Fuck.”

That’s all he says. You think you agree.

You nod, “Yeah. Um, I,” you wipe at your eyes, sniffing. “I don’t want to have a baby. I’m only seventeen.”

“Then don’t. Isn’t there a… procedure? A muggle procedure?”

“I don’t wanna do that either. I’m gonna have the baby, but. I’m scared,” you’re whispering now, and despite your wishes, tears are falling down your cheeks, landing on your lap. “And you can’t even be with me, so.” Draco ducks his head. The ends of his hair tickles your cheek. You lean your head against his. “Please say something.”

“Did you tell your parents?”

You shake your head. “No. I’m more worried about yours.”

“I’ll handle it. I’ll try.”

The next day, you meet outside. His face is expressionless. You know him too well - his eyes speak wonders. They’re broken, like shattered glass, a longing deep inside of them. It’s like looking into a well and seeing something shiny at the bottom, something you want, but can never get without falling in and never being able to get out.

“I can’t speak to you anymore.”

You freeze. In your mind, gears whirl, ice freezes over, your stomach drops. You choke out a, “Wh-what?”

Draco swallows, “I told my parents. If you cannot get rid of… it,” he snaps, “then fine. But you cannot talk to me. Ever again. I am going to my last year of school, then I am becoming an Auror.”

“Draco-”

“I must leave now. Goodbye.”

Your knees shake as you force yourself to stand, to watch him walk away. You wait until he’s gone to cry, so you don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you in pain. When you get back to your house, eyes bloodshot, lips red, you tell your parents. It takes you an hour to convince your dad not to go to his house and tell off his father.

“It won’t work,” you cry, holding onto his shirt. “They’re… different. I made a mistake, talking to him. Now I’m paying for it.”

Your mother whispers, “Do you love him? Did you love him?”

When you nod, she wraps you in her arms and lets you weep into her shirt. You get a mysterious sense of deja vu. Your father locks himself in his office for only a day. When he comes out, he hugs you, whispering how everything will be okay.

For your last year of school, you go to a special school with pregnant teens. Your grandmother moves into a spare room once she learns of the news, unjudging and supportive. You grow bigger and bigger, stomach inflating, until you have to get new clothes. As soon as you can, you find out that the child inside of you is a girl.

(You were hoping for a girl. You love girls.)

You’re due in late February. When December rolls around, you’re already sick of everything. It’s hard to sleep on your stomach and you can’t wear your favorite sweater and you’re so irritable, it makes your grandmother laugh.

“When I was pregnant with your mother, I craved salty pretzels and I dipped them in Earl Grey,” she says, handing you a mug and a bag of crisps. “When your mother was pregnant with you, she craved salty chips and ate them with green tea.”

“I want chocolate.”

She produces a bag of chocolate, as well. “Anything for my beautiful granddaughter.”

A week to Christmas, you’re sitting on the sofa in the den, remote in one hand, chocolate in the other. Somebody knocks on the door. Your grandmother is in the kitchen with your father, mother out in the garden; you roll yourself to your feet (it’s the only way you can get up now) and lug your body to the front door.

When you open it, you hate yourself for feeling excited at the image of Draco Malfoy.

You open and close your mouth a few times, much like a fish. When you finally get your bearings, you try to say, “What are you doing here?!” It comes out a whisper.

Draco frowns, looking at your stomach. His gaze is hopeful, awestruck, amazed. “I…” he takes a deep breath and meets your gaze. “I had to see you again.”

You scowl, clutching the chocolate and doorknob tightly. “I thought you couldn’t talk to me for the rest of your life,” you pause. “Wait, why aren’t you in school?”

“I came home for the holidays. So I could see you,” he sighs, casting his eyes to the ground. “And that’s what they told me to say. They… made me tell you that.”

You cross your arms. “I thought as much.”

“I really care about you,” says Draco. “And… the baby. It’s-”

“She,” you interject.

“Sh-she?” He murmurs. “I’m going to have a daughter?”

You nod. When you find your voice, you whisper, “If you’ll take her.”

“Of - of course,” he bites his lip. “And… you. I will take you. Please. I… frankly, I don’t give a damn about what my parents say. They’ve always looked down on muggles, and that’s the way I was taught to be, but… obviously, that didn’t go down well.”

“Obviously.”

“And… I am about to finish school. I am taking my N.E.W.T.s and then becoming a potion’s master, or an Auror, or something. I’ll decide that… later. You already know about magic. We could… move in together. If you’d like,” he says hurriedly. “Look, I know I said terrible things. I am kind of a prat. I-”

“I love you,” you dig your nails into your palms. “And I have for a. A while. So. I do want to be with you. Because I love you.”

“Fuck,” he breathes. “I love you, too. So much.” Leaning down, he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Please. Take me back.”

You shrug. “Okay. Sure. But I’m naming her, because you ditched me for, like, five months.”

Draco snorts. “Deal.”

“Okay. Cool. I love you, I guess. My show is on, are you coming inside and meeting my family and watching it with me, or are you going back home?”

He turns to look behind him. When he faces you again, he’s smiling. “I’ll come inside.”

“Good answer. It’s a bloody amazing show.”

You lace your fingers together and lead Draco through the house. “Just a warning,” you add, “my parents will probably dislike you at first. You kinda left me, your baby mum, in the dust. But my grandmum will love you to death. You’re hot.”

“She’ll love me… because I’m hot?”

“Also you’re a dick. For some reason, she loves mean, attractive people,” you turn to beam at him. “I mean, she loves me the most, after all.”

[gyrlversion]

May resignation rumours: Brexiteer Tory rebels will now fall into line

The Prime Minister faced the Commons today as she hinted that she could try for a third vote on her deal either tomorrow or on Friday and didn’t knock back claims she could soon announce her departure

A fiery Theresa May today faced down MPs in the Commons and hinted she could hold a third vote on her deal as early as tomorrow, amid rumours she will enter a resignation pact with Tory rebels who would then cave in and back her Brexit deal.

The Prime Minister has been told to her face that for Brexiteers including Boris Johnson to support her deal she will need to promise Tory MPs she will quit before the second stage of EU talks begin later this year – and at PMQs she gave a spirited performance but refused to rule out stepping down when challenged. 

If her deal gets the support of a majority of MPs before the end of this week Britain will leave the EU on May 22, if it does not the country faces weeks of chaos as rebel Remainers try to force a soft Brexit in votes starting tonight.

And in a sign the deal could be voted on again tomorrow or Friday, Mrs May told MPs during Prime Minister’s Questions today that they could deliver on Brexit ‘if this week this House supports the deal’. 

Today senior Brexiteer Cabinet minister Andrea Leadsom did little to quell the rumours of Mrs May’s demise after her Brexit deal passes and said: ‘I am fully supporting the Prime Minister to get us out of the EU. What happens after that is a matter for the Prime Minister. I’m not going to express a view.’

And as more rebel Brexiteer Tories indicated this morning that they will climb down and back May, Leave campaign architect Dominic Cummings attacked ‘narcissist delusional’ ERG members stopping the PM getting the votes she needs.

In an extraordinary blogpost he said during the 2016 referendum campaign ‘so many of you guys were too busy shooting or skiing or chasing girls to do any actual work’. He added: ‘You should be treated like a metastasising tumour and excised’.

However the rebel climbdown could all come to nothing because the DUP, who May also needs to support her deal, show no signs of coming onboard.

Jacob Rees-Mogg today urged other hardline Eurosceptics to back Mrs May or face losing Brexit with 20 or more hardcore Brexiteers including Boris Johnson ready to swing behind her if she agrees to quit tonight.

Backbencher Robert Courts, a member of the ERG’s Star Chamber, is the latest to cave with sources claiming the trickle of U-turns could become ‘a flood’. 

He said: ‘I will reluctantly back the PM’s deal. The hard reality is that this deal, for all its faults, is now the only available route out of the EU and to deliver on our promises. With renewed focus the ultimate prize is still achievable in future relationship talks’.

What PM needs to edge to victory… by just 2 votes. There are 235 Tory loyalists, 10 switchers, 30 who with back the deal if May quits, 10 DUP supporters and 24 Labour

These are the seven options for Brexit MPs could vote on this week if Mrs May is forced towards a softer Brexit

A KEY WEEK FOR BREXIT 

WEDNESDAY MARCH 27: MPs HOLD INDICATIVE VOTES ROUND ONE:

MPs are set to hold the ‘first round’ vote choosing their preferred Brexit from options including Norway, a Customs Union, May’s Deal and No Deal. They will most likely be able to choose more than one option at this stage, and will write their preferences on pink slips of paper rather than walking through lobbies in the traditional Commons voting method. The top options would then be put forward to another ’round two’ vote.

COULD STILL HAPPEN THURSDAY MARCH 28: MAY HOLDS A THIRD MEANINGFUL VOTE ON HER BREXIT DEAL:

May is likely to try and pass her Brexit deal a third time, after the EU offered a Brexit date of 22 May if she does so this week. The Prime Minister will use threats that MPs will take control and force a softer Brexit in an attempt to force Brexiteer rebels and the DUP to finally back her. She may also offer them a date when she will quit in return for their support. Thursday is the most likely day for her vote, but there is a chance she won’t hold it if she still does not believe she’ll win.

FRIDAY MARCH 29: MPs TAKE CONTROL?

If the PM loses a third vote on her deal, or does not hold one, by Friday the Brexit date is reset until April. MPs and Remainer Cabinet ministers will try and force her towards a softer Brexit. Brexiteer MPs and Cabinet minister will conversely try and push her towards a No Deal exit from the EU. Minister have also claimed that they could call an election if MPs try to force them into a soft Brexit.

MONDAY APRIL 1: INDICATIVE VOTES ROUND TWO:

MPs are expected to rank their preferences for Brexit. When one option is knocked out, MPs second preferences will be counted. For example if a second referendum is knocked out, its supporters can switch to backing a soft Brexit. Parliament would agree to support the final option.

WEDNESDAY APRIL 3: MPs COULD FORCE MAY’S HAND:

If Theresa May refuses to accept MPs preferred Brexit option, they could try to pass new legislation compelling her to do so. 

Mr Rees-Mogg admits that his change of heart will prompt accusations of treachery from some of his followers but told them: ‘Half a loaf is better than no bread’. 

Chief whip Julian Smith reportedly believes that Mrs May announcing her departure will lead to 20 or more rebels could be ready to switch sides while former minister Iain Duncan Smith is said to be hoping to broker the resignation deal and said last night: ‘There is a pretty good chance the deal is going to get through’.  

Tonight MPs will try to grab the levers of power and push Britain towards a softer Brexit by voting on alternatives to Theresa May’s deal and today the rebellion’s architect Sir Oliver Letwin said the Commons will change the law to force the PM to implement their views.

Former Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell said today: ‘Oliver Letwin has played a blinder. My friends and colleagues in the ERG can see the instruments of torture laid out in front of them. Oliver has shown them what will happen if they don’t come on side. Finally Mrs May has most of us on side on her deal, and with a following wind she will get her deal this week or early next week’. 

Mrs May will address a meeting of the backbench 1922 Committee tonight and is expected to be asked to announce her departure date by disgruntled MPs. 

But she is yet to convince the DUP to back her deal – and without their 10 MPs her deal has little-or-no chance of passing because of the 25-plus Labour rebels she would need to bail her out. 

Asked how talks are going with the DUP, Mrs Leadom said: ‘We are working very hard’. 

Conservative MP Daniel Kawczynski tweeted: ‘Have urged some friends in DUP to abstain over Withdrawal Agreement if they cannot support it. That way we could still just about get it across finishing line. We must prevent Remainer Parliament from destroying #Brexit.’

Mr Rees-Mogg’s intervention came as the number of Eurosceptics reluctantly backing Mrs May threatened to turn from a trickle into a flood.

Writing in the Daily Mail, he says fellow Leavers have to face the ‘awkward reality’ that Remainers will thwart the 2016 referendum result unless the EU withdrawal agreement is passed.

But he says the Prime Minister’s plan is now the only way to ensure Britain leaves the EU and wrote: ‘I apologise for changing my mind. By doing so I will be accused of infirmity of purpose by some and treachery by others. I have come to this view because the numbers in Parliament make it clear that all the other potential outcomes are worse and an awkward reality needs to be faced.’ 

Who could replace Theresa May? 

Here are the top runners and riders to replace the Prime Minister, their odds with Ladbrokes and how they voted in the 2016 referendum:

 Michael Gove 4/1

Michael Gove’s odds have shortened in recent days

Leading Vote Leave figure in 2016 who now backs PM’s Brexit deal

Former journalist, 51,  who stood for leadership in 2016

Was sacked as education minister by Theresa May

Later returned as Environment Minister

 A Brexiteer with a machiavellian reputation after the 2016 leadership campaign in which he first supported Boris Johnson for the leadership and then stood against him, to their mutual disadvantage.

The former education secretary –  sacked by Mrs May –  was rehabilitated to become a right-on environment secretary – complete with reusable coffee cups and a strong line on food standards after Brexit.

Despite being a former lead figure in the Vote Leave campaign alongside Mr Johnson the former journalist and MP for Surrey Heath has swung behind Mrs May’s Brexit deal.

At the weekend he denied being involved in a coup seeking to make him a caretaker PM. 

Seen as one of the Cabinet’s strongest political thinkers and having stood once it is unthinkable that he would not stand again.

Boris Johnson 4/1

Boris Johnson is very popular with the Tory grassroots

Former foreign secretary and mayor of London

Voted leave and has become an increasingly hardline Brexiteer 

As likely to make headlines over his private life

Has recently lost a lot of weight and smartened up his appearance

The former foreign secretary who quit last July and has been tacitly campaigning for the leadership ever since returning to the backbenches with a regular stream of attacks on Mrs may and her Brexit strategy.

Never far from the limelight it is his private life that has seen him most in the news recently after splitting from his wife Marina and embarking on a relationship with a former Conservative communications staffer 20 years his junior.

A hawkish Brexiteer hugely popular with the party faithful, in recently weeks he has further boosted his frontrunner credentials with what might be deemed a ‘prime ministerial’ makeover.

He has lost weight and taming his unruly mop of blonde hair into something approaching the haircut of a serious senior statesman.

 Jeremy Hunt 8/1

Jeremy Hunt backed Remain in 2016 but has undergone a conversion to the Brexit cause

The Foreign Secretary voted Remain 

But has become an increasingly vocal Brexiteer

Backs May’s deal

Has approached ministers about running as a unity candidate 

The Foreign Secretary who has undergone a Damascene conversion to the Brexit cause in with a series of hardline warnings to the EU.

The 52-year-old South West Surrey MP is the most senior Cabinet minister in contention.

He has reportedly been selling himself to colleagues as a unity candidate who can bring together the fractious Tory factions into something approaching a cohesive party. 

A long-serving health secretary, he replaced Mr Johnson as the UK’s top diplomat and has won some plaudits over issues like the imprisonment of British mother Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe in Iran.

But critics point to tub-thumpingly comparing the EU to the USSR at the party conference last year – which was very badly received in Brussels – and a gaffe in which he referred to his Chinese wife  as ‘Japanese’ as a reception in China.  

Dominic Raab 10/1

The former Brexit Secretary is now a Theresa May critic

Shortlived Brexit secretary last year, replacing David Davis in the hot seat 

But walked in November over terms agreed by PM

Voted for Brexit in 2016

Mr Raab, 45, is another Vote Leave member who became Brexit secretary after David Davis quit alongside Mr Johnson last July over the Chequers plan.

But he lasted just a matter of months before he too jumped ship, saying he could not accept the terms of the deal done by the Prime Minister.

Like Mr Johnson and Mr Davis he has become an increasingly hardline Brexiteer, sharing a platform with the DUP’s Arlene Foster and suggesting we should not be afraid of a no-deal Brexit.

The Esher and Walton MP’s decision to quit in November, boosted his popularity with party members but he lacks the wider popular appeal of Mr Johnson.

And like Mr Johnson he might benefit from having quit the Cabinet at an earlier stage and dissociating himself with the dying days of the May administration.  

 Sajid Javid 12/1

Sajid Javid has kept a relatively low profile throughout the Brexit chaos

The most senior cabinet contender

Voted Remain but wants to see Brexit delivered

Faced criticism as Home Secretary 

But has taken a hard line on Shamima Begum case  

The Home Secretary, a Remainer who wants to see Brexit delivered, was the leading candidate from inside the Cabinet to replace Mrs May.

After replacing Amber Rudd last year he consciously put clear ground between himself and the Prime Minister on issues like caps on skilled migrants after Brexit.

But his credentials have taken a hit in recent weeks. He finds himself facing ongoing criticism of his handling of the knife crime crisis affecting UK cities, which sparked a cabinet row over funding for police.

He also lost face over his handling of the influx of migrants crossing the English Channel in January, being seen to move slowly in realising the scale of the problem.

But more recently the 49-year-old Bromsgove MP has made a serious of hardline decision designed to go down well with Tory voters.

Most notably they have included moving to deprive London teenager turned Jihadi bride Shamima Begum, 19, of her British citizenship.

Seven Conservative MPs who voted against her plan earlier this month yesterday said they were changing their minds.

And last night Boris Johnson gave the strongest hint yet that he could also fall into line, saying: ‘If we vote it down again there is an appreciable and growing sense we will not leave at all. That is the risk.’

Former Tory leader and Eurosceptic Iain Duncan Smith said last night there was now a good chance of Mrs May winning the ‘meaningful’ vote. 

The official Leave campaign director has today threatened to set up a new group as he said some Conservative Brexiteers should be treated like a ‘metastasising tumour’.

Dominic Cummings criticised a ‘narcissist-delusional subset’ of the influential European Research Group (ERG) that he said needed to be ‘excised’.

With Brexit delayed, he issued a threat to MPs who promised ‘to respect the referendum result then abandoning’ the pledge that ‘actions have consequences’.

The Vote Leave director called on activists to start ‘rebuilding our network’ before suggesting a new campaign or party could be formed.

Mr Cummings’ blog post on Wednesday was in response to him being found to be in contempt of Parliament after he failed to appear before MPs investigating fake news.

He accused the subset of the ERG of ‘scrambling’ for top radio spots while ‘spouting gibberish’.

During the EU referendum, he claimed, ‘so many of you guys were too busy shooting or skiing or chasing girls to do any actual work’.

‘You should be treated like a metastasising tumour and excised from the UK body politic,’ he added.

Commons Leader Andrea Leadsom said the Government hopes to be able to bring Theresa May’s Brexit deal back to the Commons this week.

Mrs Leadsom told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme: ‘I think that there is a real possibility that it does. We are completely determined to make sure that we can get enough support to bring it back.’

She added: ‘The Prime Minister said she is working hard, as many colleagues are, to persuade colleagues to support it.’

Mrs Leadsom refused to be drawn on whether the Prime Minister should commit to standing down once the Withdrawal Agreement is passed in order to win over wavering MPs.

‘I am fully supporting the Prime Minister to get us out of the European Union,’ she said.

Asked if Mrs May should stand down after that, she said: ‘I think that is a matter for her. I am not expressing a view.’

The shift in momentum came as Remainers – led by Tories Sir Oliver Letwin and Nick Boles and Labour’s Yvette Cooper – prepared to seize control of the Brexit process today in a bid to push through a soft departure.

MPs tabled a blizzard of amendments for consideration in today’s ‘indicative votes’ in the Commons.  

Options include revoking Article 50, which would effectively cancel Brexit, holding a second referendum and locking the UK into a single market and customs union.  The latter would require Britain to accept free movement, EU laws and payments to Brussels.

Sir Oliver Letwin, the architect of the plan for the Commons to stage a series of indicative votes on the way forward on Brexit, tioday warned that if Theresa May tried to ignore the outcome, MPs could seek to force her to act.

‘If on Monday one or more propositions get a majority backing in the House of Commons, then we will have to work with the Government to implement them,’ he told the BBC Radio 4 Today programme.

‘The way I would hope it would happen under those circumstances is that we would have sensible, workmanlike discussions across the House of Commons and the Government would move forward in an orderly fashion.

‘If the Government didn’t agree to that, then those who I am working with across the parties will move to legislate to mandate the Government – if we can obtain majorities in the House of Commons and House of Lords for that – to carry that forward.’  

Former Tory chief whip Andrew Mitchell said Sir Oliver Letwin had played ‘an absolute blinder’ by making clear to Brexiteers the consequences of continuing to oppose the PM’s deal.

He said: ‘Well, I think Sir Oliver Letwin has laid out for all my friends and colleagues in the ERG the instruments of torture, of what awaits them if they do not support Mrs May’s deal the next time it comes to a vote.

‘Everyone else is onside in the parliamentary party. Reluctantly, I admit, but nevertheless, onside.’

The Conservative Party will split apart if hardline MPs believe they can back Theresa May’s Brexit deal now and unpick it later, Tory former attorney general Dominic Grieve has said.

Mr Grieve said the Tories could not survive the pressure of trying to re-order the Prime Minister’s Withdrawal Agreement once Britain had left the EU.

The ex-Cabinet minister said the idea that the UK could renegotiate the deal after it quit the bloc extended beyond some members of the European Research Group (ERG) of Eurosceptic Tories.

Mr Grieve said: ‘I am mindful that some of my colleagues, not all of them in the ERG, I can think of at least one Cabinet minister who has hinted that the solution to the problem is to see this deal through so that we leave the EU … and then try to pick it apart.

‘Do they really, seriously think that my party, who’s already under a lot of strain and stress, is going to survive such a process?

‘Of course it isn’t.

‘If genuinely they think that the solution is to sign-up, leave and then try to take the whole thing to pieces, I think we can guarantee, firstly, we are going to have a very long period of immense and sterile debate.

‘And certainly I think when it comes to that I can confidently predict my party would split.’

Mr Grieve also said it was ‘odd’ that members of the ERG would support Mrs May’s deal on condition she gave a departure date for quitting Downing Street.

Speaking at a People’s Vote campaign event calling for a new Brexit referendum, he said: ‘It seems to me a very odd thing to say that just because she would go, they would be prepared to support it.’

During PMQs today, SNP MP Stewart Hosie asked the Prime Minister when she would resign.

He said: ‘Brexit is already costing the UK around £1 billion a week in lost growth.

‘We know 80% plus of the UK public is unhappy with the way in which this has been handled – this is not the fault of Guy Verhofstadt, Michel Barnier, Donald Tusk, or any MP in this House voting according to their conscience.

‘That fault lies with the Prime Minister who is the architect of the withdrawal deal, so can she finally concede to the House she is liable, responsible, culpable for the chaos which is the Brexit debacle and when she will be resigning?’

Mrs May insisted her deal ‘delivers on the result of the referendum’.

Brexiteer Tory MP Andrew Bridgen (North West Leicestershire) said his constituents would never trust the Prime Minister again if the UK failed to leave the EU on Friday March 29, with or without a deal.

‘At the last minute she begs our EU masters for an extension to Article 50, delaying our departure,’ he said.

‘They are good people, but they are not stupid and they will never trust the Prime Minister again.’

Mrs May said MPs could still guarantee delivering on Brexit ‘if this week he and others in this House support the deal’

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn told Mrs May: ‘This country is on hold while the Government is in complete paralysis.

‘The vital issues facing our country from the devastation of public services to homelessness to knife crime have been neglected.

‘The Prime Minister is failing to deliver Brexit because she can’t build a consensus, is unable to compromise and unable to reunite the country. Instead she is stoking further divisions, she’s unable to resolve the central issues facing Britain today and she is frankly unable to govern.

‘The Prime Minister faces a very clear choice, the one endorsed by the country and many of her own party – either listen and change course, or go. Which is it to be?’

Mrs May defended the Government’s record on public spending before adding: ‘The biggest threat to our standing in the world, to our defence and to our economy is sitting on the Labour frontbench.’

Andrea Leadsom today refused to be drawn on whether the Prime Minister should commit to standing down once the Withdrawal Agreement is passed in order to win over wavering MPs as ministers including Michael Gove (right today) continue to fight for her deal

Theresa May faces a series of votes on alternatives to the PM’s Brexit deal – and Attorney General Geoffrey Cox and Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay were called for No 10 talks this morning

HOW THERESA MAY COULD GET ROUND BERCOW’S RULING BLOCKING A THIRD VOTE

The final obstacle to Theresa May getting her deal before MPs again is Speaker John Bercow.

He will be asked to rule whether it can even be voted on or breaches ancient rules that say the same proposal cannot be put before the House repeatedly. 

Mrs May is still hopeful that the Speaker is willing to make an exception in this case. If the vote gets the green light, it’s down to the numbers.

If Mr Bercow refuses to give in then there are other ways the Government could try to get around it. 

Here are some of the ways Theresa May could try:

USING THE BREXIT DELAY She could wait until after the European Council – where a delay to Brexit is expected to be agreed – and claim a third meaningful vote is different because of the new Brexit date.

PROVE MPs WANT A THIRD VOTE The PM could test the will of the house by putting down a paving motion saying that ‘notwithstanding the convention of the House and the ruling of the Speaker’, the Commons wants a third meaningful vote.

SCRAP THE MEANINGFUL VOTE She could introduce the Withdrawal Agreement Bill alongside a motion saying a meaningful vote is not needed, and that getting the second reading passed is all that is required.

PROROGUE PARLIAMENT The dynamite option is to get the Queen to ‘prorogue’ Parliament – that is ending the current session and starting a new one. The Speaker’s ruling only blocked a third vote in the current session, meaning it could be brought back again. This would be a last resort thought because it would mean many pieces of legislation would fall and would have to start their passage through the House again.  

Labour MP Stephen Kinnock said: ‘I really hope that today we will at least get to see the two or three really clear options where there is support in Parliament.

‘Then on Monday, we will have a crack of the whip and I think we can get something over the line.

‘But if we can’t of course, Theresa May will come back and try her deal. It looks like she will try that tomorrow. Who knows whether that would work.

‘But we have to, under all circumstances, ensure that we don’t leave the EU without a deal.’

Attorney General Geoffrey Cox is said to have told the PM that if Parliament does mandate her to pursue a new Brexit route next week if her deal falls then she will break the law if she ignores it.

As No 10 weighed up whether to put the withdrawal agreement to a vote for a third and final time tomorrow:

Ministers claimed Mrs May could set out a timetable for her departure when she addresses Tory MPs tonight in a bid to persuade them to back her plans;

Attempts to win over the DUP were rocked when the party’s Brexit spokesman Sammy Wilson warned he would rather delay for a year than accept the withdrawal agreement;

Mrs May was warned that a string of pro-Remain ministers could quit today unless they are given a free vote on soft Brexit options;

Nick Boles said Remainers would force the Prime Minister to pursue a soft Brexit if she refused to downgrade her red lines;

Commons Leader Andrea Leadsom told MPs that Parliament might have to sit through the Easter break;

The Prime Minister was facing the threat of a rebellion by her own whips over the vote to formally delay Brexit beyond March 29.

As chairman of the 80-strong ERG group of Tory MPs, Mr Rees-Mogg has led opposition to the Prime Minister’s strategy. He was also a leading figure in the bid to topple her last year, which resulted in a confidence vote that she won. 

His intervention came as the number of Eurosceptics reluctantly backing Mrs May threatened to turn from a trickle into a flood

Shadow international trade secretary Barry Gardiner has warned that Labour could have difficulty supporting a plan for a confirmatory referendum on any Brexit deal.

Explained: How today’s key votes will work and the Brexit options that MPs could decide on 

How tonight’s key votes will work…

Theresa May has said she will not necessarily be bound by the results – particularly if they are ‘undeliverable’ by the EU

MPs have seized control on the parliamentary timetable so they can hold a series of votes this evening in a bid to work out what kind of Brexit has a chance of winning the support of the House of Commons.

At 2pm, normal proceedings in the House will stop and MPs will debate for an hour whether to go ahead with Tory former minister Sir Oliver Letwin’s plan to stage indicative votes.

If they do, Commons Speaker John Bercow will at 3pm announce which Brexit options will go on the ballot paper. MPs had until last night to submit their suggestions.

Whilst the debate is taking place, Theresa May is due to address a meeting of the 1922 committee, which is the group made up of all Tory MPs.

At 7pm, MPs will be given paper slips listing the various Brexit options. They will get half an hour to mark Aye or Now next to each one.

Whilst the votes are being counted, MPs will debate legislation changing the Brexit date from 29 March to 12 April, after Mrs may agreed an extension with EU leaders at a Brussels summit last week.

The Speaker will announce the results of the indicative votes at around 9pm in the Commons chamber, revealing whether any of them commanded a majority of support.

Mrs May has said she will not necessarily be bound by the results – particularly if they are ‘undeliverable’ by the EU.

However, MPs are planning to seize control of the parliamentary timetable again next Monday so they can repeat the process to refine the options or attempt to pass legislation to enforce them. 

The Brexit options that MPs are poised to vote on tonight: 

Revoke Article 50

Put forward by SNP’s Joanna Cherry and backed by 33 MPs including Conservative former attorney general Dominic Grieve, Liberal Democrat leader Sir Vince Cable, Labour’s Ben Bradshaw and all 11 members of The Independent Group. 

It demands that if no deal has been agreed on the day before Brexit that MPs will get the chance to cancel the UK’s notice to Brussels it would leave the EU.

Britain is allowed to unilaterally cancel Article 50 and stay a member on its current terms, according to a ruling of the European Court. It would bring an end to the existing negotiations – but would not legally rule them being restarted. 

Second referendum

Tabled by Labour ex-foreign secretary Margaret Beckett to build on proposals from Labour MPs Peter Kyle and Phil Wilson.

It states that MPs will not sanction leaving the EU unless it has been put to the electorate for a ‘confirmatory vote’.

A significant evolution of the plan is it would put any deal agreed by the Government to a public vote and not just Mrs May’s plan. 

Customs union 

Tabled by veteran Conservative Europhile Ken Clarke, backed by Labour’s Yvette Cooper, Helen Goodman and chair of the Commons Exiting the EU Committee Hilary Benn and Tory former ministers Sir Oliver Letwin and Sarah Newton. 

There is a further customs union amendment tabled by Labour’s Gareth Snell and other Labour leavers. 

It demands that ministers negotiate a new ‘permanent and comprehensive UK-wide customs union with the EU’ which would prevent the country being able to strike its own trade deals but make it easier for goods to move between the UK and Europe. 

Labour’s plan

Proposed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn

It includes a comprehensive customs union but with a UK say on future trade deals and close alignment with the single market.

The plan also demands matching new EU rights and protections; participation in EU agencies and funding programmes; and agreement on future security arrangements, including access to the European Arrest Warrant.

No deal 

Proposed by Eurosceptic Tory MP John Baron.

Tabled a motion demanding ‘the UK will leave the EU on 12 April 2019’ without a deal. However, a No Deal Brexit has already been rejected twice by MPs.

It would instruct the Government to abandon efforts to secure its deal and inform the EU it did not want a long extension to Article 50 either, in line with last week’s EU Council. Both sides would then have a fortnight to make final preparations.  

Common Market 2.0   

Tabled by Conservatives Nick Boles, Robert Halfon and Andrew Percy and Labour’s Stephen Kinnock, Lucy Powell and Diana Johnson.

The motion proposes UK membership of the European Free Trade Association and European Economic Area.

It allows continued participation in the single market and a ‘comprehensive customs arrangement’ with the EU after Brexit. It would be very similar to current membership.

The idea is this would remain in place until the agreement of a wider trade deal which guarantees frictionless movement of goods and an open border in Ireland.

Malthouse Compromise 

This is a cross-party proposal calls for Theresa May’s Withdrawal Agreement to be implemented with the controversial ‘backstop’ for the Irish border replaced by alternative arrangements.

Backed by Conservatives from both the Leave and Remain wings of the party, including Nicky Morgan, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Damian Green, Steve Baker and Sir Graham Brady, as well as the DUP’s Nigel Dodds and Labour Brexiteer Kate Hoey.

The proposals have already been rejected by the EU.

Single Market 

Tory former minister George Eustice – who quit as agriculture minister this month to fight for Brexit – proposes remaining within the EEA and rejoining EFTA, but remaining outside a customs union with the EU.

The motion was also signed by Conservative MPs including former minister Nicky Morgan and head of the Brexit Delivery Group Simon Hart.

The idea would keep the UK in the European Economic Area (EEA), but unlike the Common Market 2.0 plan would not involve a customs arrangement. It is similar to Norway’s deal. 

MPs will consider the motion, tabled in the name of former foreign secretary Dame Margaret Beckett, requiring a public vote before ratification of any deal, in a series of indicative votes on Wednesday.

However Mr Gardiner said that if Labour voted for it, it could suggest that they were a ‘Remain party’ – which was not the case.

He said that under the terms of the motion, any referendum could be a choice between Theresa May’s deal or staying in the EU.

‘It would be saying we could accept what we have always said is a very bad deal. Therefore it looks as if the attempt to have a public vote on it is simply a way of trying to remain because nobody likes this deal,’ he told the BBC Radio 4 Today programme.

‘To put that up as the only alternative in a public vote and say we will let it go through looks as though you believe that at the end of it Remain would be the result.

‘It is not where our policy has been. Our policy is clearly that we would support a public vote to stop no-deal or to stop a bad deal, but not that we would allow a bad deal as long as the public had the opportunity to reject Brexit altogether.

‘That implies that you are a Remain party. The Labour Party is not a Remain party now. We have accepted the result of the referendum.’

Today he cautions colleagues against believing that removing Mrs May would solve the Brexit crisis.

‘A number of Tory MPs think a new leader could swiftly renegotiate but that is almost certainly not true now that Parliament has taken control of the House of Commons timetable,’ he writes.

‘It would be even harder for a Eurosceptic to manage the current Commons than it is for Mrs May.’

But hours later Labour undermined him and said MPs are to be whipped to support a motion tabled in the name of Dame Margaret Beckett, demanding a second referendum on any Brexit deal passed by this Parliament before its ratification.

A party spokesman said: ‘In line with our policy, we’re supporting motions to keep options on the table to prevent a bad Tory deal or No Deal.’

Before Labour announced it would be supporting the Margaret Beckett amendment, Labour MP Owen Smith said: ‘What’s going on today is a process that I feel will result in a lowest common denominator, compromise Brexit being heralded by some as being the way forward.

‘I don’t think it will be the way forward. I think crucially what we need to do today is to separate our process from outcomes.

‘I am wholly in favour of there being a public vote, a confirmatory vote, on any of the options that are adopted today, whichever one emerges and whichever deal is passed by the Commons eventually.

‘There must be a public vote on it. And if it is a compromise, second-rate Brexit that nobody is content with, then that makes even greater the rationale for having a confirmatory people’s vote on it.’

Mr Rees-Mogg, whose backing is subject to support from the DUP, says the agreement negotiated by the Prime Minister ‘is a bad one’ – and he would rather leave under No Deal, but this was effectively ruled out.

Six other Eurosceptic Tories who have voted against Mrs May’s plan said yesterday they would now back it.

They were former Tory vice-chairmen Rehman Chishti and Ben Bradley and MPs Michael Fabricant, Gordon Henderson, Eddie Hughes and Henry Smith. They join a trickle of Brexiteers who have changed their minds in recent days, including former Cabinet minister Esther McVey, James Gray and Daniel Kawczynski.

Privately, ERG sources acknowledge the group is likely to split, with a hard core of ‘refuseniks’ unwilling to back any deal.

This group includes former Cabinet ministers John Redwood and Owen Paterson, Mr Rees-Mogg’s deputy Steve Baker, and Tory grandee Sir Bill Cash. A senior government source last night confirmed that the PM wants to try another vote this week – possibly tomorrow or even Friday – but said she would do so only if she was confident of winning.

‘Realistically if we don’t get the deal through this week then we are looking at a long delay and participation in the European Parliament elections,’ the source said. ‘Things are moving, but the numbers are not there yet.’

Hardline Brexiteers – including Sir Bill – yesterday accused Theresa May of exceeding her lawful powers by delaying Brexit beyond this Friday.

They said there were ‘serious legal objections’ to the agreement made at last week’s EU summit to extend the UK’s membership.  

Theresa May could be prepared to make clear that she will quit No10 within weeks if Tory MPs agree to back her Brexit deal, ministers believe.

Senior Eurosceptic Conservatives are demanding that she names a date for her departure when she appears before the 1922 Committee of backbenchers at 5pm today.

Last night one close ally of the PM told the Mail that they believed she could now agree to leave Downing Street ‘if it were in the national interest and she finally got this thing through’.

However, the ally warned it would be her ‘last move’ and she would only agree to go if it was clear the deal would pass.

Ten Brexiteers, including European Research Group chairman Jacob Rees-Mogg, have now said they could back the deal if it comes back to the Commons regardless of Mrs May’s intentions. 

They fear that moves by former Tory minister Sir Oliver Letwin and Labour’s Hilary Benn – who have organised a series of indicative votes in the Commons today – will result in a much softer Brexit, a long delay to leaving the EU or no Brexit at all. 

But a larger group are holding out until an announcement from the PM of a firm date when she will go.

Behind the scenes, former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith was yesterday said to be ‘actively encouraging’ Brexiteer MPs to back the deal on the basis of a discreet promise by Mrs May to go if it passes.

He is thought to have proposed the idea at last weekend’s Chequers summit and told the PM he could deliver 90 per cent of the ERG’s hardline Leavers if she agreed to quit. Mrs May did not rule out the idea but responded sceptically: ‘I’m not sure you can get me the numbers.’

Other senior Eurosceptics want the PM to go public with her promise tonight. It comes amid signs Mrs May could call a third Brexit vote as early as tomorrow if she believes she can get enough support for the Withdrawal Agreement.

Tory Nigel Evans, executive secretary of the 1922 Committee, told the BBC last night: ‘The Prime Minister will be addressing the 1922 tomorrow at 5pm. I am encouraging her in that speech to give the timetable for her departure.

‘A number of Brexiteers are reluctant to support her deal because they think if it gets over the line, she will then say ‘Look what I’ve achieved – I’m staying’. A number of them want to make absolutely certain she’s nowhere near the negotiating table when we start talking about the future trade relationship with the EU.

‘If the Prime Minister announces a timetable of departure, I think that’s going to swing a lot of people behind her deal – we could get it over the line.’  

Prime Minister Theresa May and Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union Stephen Barclay leave Downing Street yesterday

But Brexit Party MEP and former Ukip leader Nigel Farage told the European Parliament it was ‘inevitable’ that the UK was heading for a delay to its departure from the EU.

‘You should ask yourselves: ‘Do you really want that?” he told MEPs. ‘Do you really want Brexit to utterly dominate the next couple of years of your business to the exclusion of your many other ambitions?

What will happen in the Commons today?  

2pm: Debate on how to organise the indicative votes begins. It will be the first time ever MPs have control of the agenda.

3pm: Votes to finalise the rules of indicative votes. This is set to say MPs will use a ballot paper to vote yes or no on a series of Brexit plans all at once. This can be amended to the rules could change.

3.15pm: Debate on the plans will start proper. Ideas are thought likely to include a soft Brexit, hard Brexit and a No Deal on April 12. It is unclear whether the Government will put its own deal into the mix.

7pm: The Commons will be suspended for 30 minutes so MPs can fill in and file their ballot papers.

7.30pm: Voting closes. MPs are due to spend up to 90 minutes debating the change to the law on Brexit Day. It is a technical change as EU law has already postponed it from March 29.

9pm: Speaker John Bercow will announce how MPs have voted on each Brexit plan. Anything which gets more than about 315 votes will have a rough majority in the Commons. It is possible the House could vote strongly in favour of nothing – or multiple contradictory plans.  

‘Do you really want the UK to contest the European elections, to send back a very large number of Leave MEPs, just at a time when you are fighting populism – as you see it – across the continent?’

And, to cries of ‘No’ from some MEPs and ‘Yes’ from others, he asked: ‘Do you really want me back in this place?’

EU chief Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier replied: ‘Mr Farage, no-one in Brussels is trying to steal Brexit from you, no-one is trying to undo the vote of the British people.

‘It is not Brussels that decided that the UK would leave the EU. You were the ones who made that choice and you are the ones who have to take your responsibility and face up to the consequences of that decision. No-one else.’

Dover Tory MP Charlie Elphicke told Kent Online: ‘If the deal does get endorsed, it should be on condition Theresa May agrees to stand down. 

What I am clear on is that if we are going to support it, there needs to be a change of negotiating team. I think we need to have a change of leadership and a new face and a new team to take us forward to the future relationship.’

Former education minister Tim Loughton said it was ‘inevitable’ Mrs May would go but she could leave with her ‘head held high’ if she got her deal through. 

Cabinet ministers were in talks with the Democratic Unionist Party in Whitehall last night in a last-ditch attempt to win its support – which is seen as necessary before Eurosceptics will fall in line. 

A total of 75 Tories – including half a dozen arch-Remainers – voted against the deal when it was defeated two weeks ago by a majority of 149.

At yesterday’s Cabinet meeting ministers, including Commons leader Andrea Leadsom and Treasury chief secretary Liz Truss, pledged their determination and ‘resolve to get this done’.

A source said: ‘They are pulling out all the stops to try and get colleagues over the line.’

But one Cabinet minister estimated the odds of Mrs May getting the deal through at just 30 per cent. Her allies downplayed expectations, saying ‘everything has to fall in place at once’ and it wouldn’t be clear until lunchtime today what would happen.

Even if she wins over the DUP and most of her backbenchers, Mrs May will still need Labour MPs to back the deal. A group of up to 25 hardline ERG members are seen as ‘irreconcilable’ – including Sir Bill Cash, Sir John Redwood and former Cabinet minister Owen Paterson.

Some of these argue that they can still secure a No Deal Brexit regardless of a bid by Sir Oliver to try to find a softer deal the Commons can agree to. 

Other Eurosceptic MPs said they were determined to oppose the deal. Dr Julian Lewis, chairman of the Defence Committee, told the Mail: ‘The choice revealing itself is one between a clean Brexit or tearing up the result of the referendum.

‘It is vital that those of us who believe in Brexit neither ‘flag nor fail’ in Churchill’s immortal phrase, at this decisive stage.’

The Easter recess of parliament may be cancelled as MPs try to get a grip of Brexit, Mrs Leadsom said yesterday.

She stressed Britons would expect MPs to be ‘working flat-out’. She told the Commons: ‘I have announced the dates for Easter recess. But, as is always the case, recess dates are announced subject to the progress of business.

‘We will need time in the House either to find a way forward or to pass the Withdrawal Agreement bill, and I think the country will rightly expect Parliament to be working flat-out in either scenario.’ The recess is due to run from April 4 to 23.

JACOB REES-MOGG: I apologise for changing my mind. But this is why I’m ready to back Mrs May

I apologise for changing my mind. Theresa May’s deal is a bad one, it does not deliver on the promises made in the Tory Party manifesto and its negotiation was a failure of statesmanship.

A £39 billion bill for nothing, a minimum of 21 months of vassalage, the continued involvement of the European Court and, worst of all, a backstop with no end date.

Yet, I am now willing to support it if the Democratic Unionist Party does, and by doing so will be accused of infirmity of purpose by some and treachery by others.

I have come to this view because the numbers in Parliament make it clear that all the other potential outcomes are worse and an awkward reality needs to be faced.

Mrs May ought to have concluded a better agreement but behind the backs of two secretaries of state, David Davis and Dominic Raab, she did not.

The agreement on the table is as it is, and the proposal to replace the backstop with something else, particularly the Malthouse Compromise (a managed No Deal exit — if a deal cannot be agreed) has floundered.

Jacob Rees-Mogg has said he is ready to back Theresa May’s deal ‘because the numbers in Parliament make it clear that all the other potential outcomes are worse’

Delay

The EU, in the knowledge that it was dealing with a weak counterparty, has refused to reopen the text and the Government has not been willing to threaten No Deal in any effective way. The late start to No Deal planning and the reluctance to use it in negotiations has been a significant reason for the poor outcome.

Until last week, nonetheless, No Deal remained the default legal option but the Government and the Prime Minister have now ruled this out and with the support of Parliament can now do so.

No Deal is an outcome I would prefer to Mrs May’s deal. It would be a fully-leaded Brexit and mere motions in the Commons could not have stopped it.

Indeed, despite a clear majority of MPs opposing such a departure, it would have happened on Friday had Mrs May not used her executive authority as Prime Minister to postpone the day of Brexit.

Once No Deal had been ruled out, it was necessary to examine what would happen in the event of the current agreement not passing. This would lead to a long delay as there is no opportunity of renegotiating anything before the European elections at the end of May. Two years or more is proposed but considering the opposition to Brexit it could be revoked or put to a skewed second referendum.

A long delay would make remaining in the EU the most likely outcome.

If the moral authority of 17.4 million voters and a General Election in 2017 when both main parties committed to respecting the result could not deliver our departure in three years, how strong a mandate would it be after five? Even if the fear of remaining were exaggerated, it would inevitably lead to an even softer Brexit.

It is a sad fact that there is a gulf between Parliament and the people. Fifty-two per cent voted Leave but two-thirds of MPs want to remain. The Lords is even worse with a tiny minority of pro-Leave peers.

After giving people the right to decide, too many politicians felt that the voters gave the wrong answer and must be saved from themselves. Two years further from the referendum would allow for the demands to be watered down again, leaving the UK shackled by a Customs Union or as a Norway-style rule-taker.

If this were all, it could be sensible to take the risk and see if something better turned up. A number of Tory MPs think a new leader could swiftly renegotiate but that is almost certainly not true now that Parliament has taken control of the Brexit timetable.

No Deal is an outcome I would prefer to Mrs May’s deal. It would be a fully-leaded Brexit and mere motions in the Commons could not have stopped it.

It would be even harder for a Eurosceptic to manage the current Commons than it is for Mrs May. Even if this could happen, politicians must look at the current constitutional clash and fear for our polity.

The constitution is under attack in three ways. The first is between the Government and the Commons.

This has been encouraged by the Speaker whose noble efforts to allow the Commons to hold the Government to account have gone too far and now seek to take the role of the Government to the legislature.

Recklessness

This is dangerous because the Commons’ job is to provide confidence in a Prime Minister who can take decisions for which she or he is accountable.

These decisions ought to be in accordance with manifesto commitments and if there is no confidence in the duly elected Prime Minister, then control ought to return to voters, not to a cabal of MPs who will have random majorities on various issues but no clear leader or mandate.

Separation of powers between Downing Street and the Commons is a crucial part of how we are ruled and a protection against arbitrary government.

Upsetting this balance is unwise to the point of recklessness and the Sir Oliver Letwin takeover proves the point.

Unfortunately, the second breakdown is just as serious. The Government only functions if ministers support a single position or resign, and this has been the reality since the 1830s. There can only be one Government position, otherwise how can it be held to account? How can electors know how power is being exercised if different ministers say the first thing that pops into their heads?

Recently, three Cabinet Ministers failed to back Government policy on the vote to leave the EU without a deal and in a rather jejune fashion ostentatiously abstained.

As they did not resign, this undermines one of the cornerstones of the constitution, making it harder for the Government to function.

Faltering

Any government must be able to get its business done. If it cannot, it is unable to govern. The principle of the separation of powers and of collective responsibility lie at the heart of this.

A number of Tory MPs think a new leader could swiftly renegotiate but that is almost certainly not true now that Parliament has taken control of the Brexit timetable

The great Duke of Wellington was famous for insisting that the Queen’s Government must go on and that all responsible politicians have a duty towards such an end, even if it countermands their own piety.

The worst breakdown, though, is between the elected and the electors.

The condescension of politicians who feel that Leave voters were all stupid and ought never to have been allowed to decide something so complicated is tragic.

Ultimately, voters know best and must be trusted. Imperfect as it is, Mrs May’s deal gets closer to that than anything else available.

The Withdrawal Agreement has one great virtue. Legally, we would have left and to re-join would mean agreeing to adopt the Euro single currency, Schengen (the abolition of national borders) and no rebate. Such a course would be expensive and hugely unpopular.

The backstop, too, could tie us into rules that we did not like. But outside the EU, it would be a political not a legal matter.

International law is not as clear-cut as EU or domestic law and there is no court to rule between states and international bodies.

Ultimately, Brexit could be delivered upon but it would take longer.

It would need a Commons that wants to use our freedoms and that is willing to insist that the word ‘temporary’, as applied to the backstop, is genuine.

It needs political leadership and a desire to stop the weak-minded managing of decline and a belief in the UK.

Theresa May’s deal is a more faltering step than I want, or feel, could be taken —but at least it is a step forward. 

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