#-> same name as her gay cousin -> same name as his homophobic father

[logolepsy-babble]

Jegulus Micofic, Arranged Marriages

Walburga Black hasn’t always been the kindest woman. She was raised in a family where they must be married off to purebloods, she was married off to her cousin. To her children, it is disgusting. They couldn’t imagine marrying someone they’re so closely related to, and she decided to respect it. This was one thing she allowed from them, the only thing she listened to when they asked.

Sirius Black, her son who is sixteen years old, promised their mother that they had found someone worthy. Walburga did not care who it was as long as they were a pureblood, and she did care enough to meet them face to face.

She was not homophobic, no Walburga couldn’t be homophobic when her cousins were gay as well. Her niece, Bellatrix, had dated a brilliant young woman named Rita Skeeters. Rita was a pureblood. All Walburga asked from her children was that they married a pureblood.

She would never be allowed to know that her child, Sirius, was inlove with a muggle-born. They made sure to never speak of it. This was their last chance to prove to their mother they were worth it. As if, Walburga even cared. She didn’t even regard Sirius’ nonbinary gender.

Her daughter, Lyra, had never made the same promise to her mother. Love wasn’t her first priority, no, it never was. Her first priority is to survive. Survive she shall and she will.

That’s why her mother wants to marry her off, and she invites the Potters first. Lyra has always been the perfect daughter. She knows this will go well.

There’s a knock on the door as Lyra is not down the stairs yet. Sirius stands up from their chair and walk towards their mother and father, standing side by side. The door is opened by their house elf, Kreacher, who is far shorter than the rest of them. Two young men and a young woman walk through the door.

Walburga is the first to speak. “You must be the Potters!” she says. Her raspy voice anchors on Sirius’ eardrums. “I’m Walburga Black, this is my husband, Orion,” she motions to her husband on her left. “My son, Sirius,” she motions to Sirius who shifts in their stance due to the sudden misgendering. “And my daughter—“

Walburga freezes and her eye twitches. Frowning deeply, she snaps her head to the staircase and screams at the top of her lungs: “LYRA, GET DOWN HERE! WE HAVE GUESTS!” Without a second to spare, her anger is wiped, smiling generously at the Potters. “So sorry about that.”

Euphemia waves her hand, forcing a grin through her discomfort. She already has developed a heinous feeling about this family. She doesn’t know if she wants James marrying into it.

“Oh, it’s quite alright,” she forces herself to reply. She’s kinder, voice like a melody. Sirius can’t help themself but feel relaxed. “James here is time-blind as well.”

Orion squints his eyes. “It doesn’t drive you mental?”

Monty assumed he must be speaking about the time-blindness. “We’ve learned to live by it. Warn him thirty minutes early, or somewhat. It works!”

Walburga crosses her hands over one another. “Interesting.”

There’s a noise coming from the staircase, someone walks down. Walburga deviates her attention from the Potters to the sound. “Oh, Lyra, you’re here!” she says. But then she frowns, anger swarming into her face. Her eye twitches. “Why aren’t you wearing the dress?” she asks, threatening Lyra at the staircase. “Where did you get that?”

Lyra steps down into the Potter’s view. Her hair is cut short, waving around her head. Walburga is correct, she’s not wearing a dress, but a black and white suit. She doesn’t have the jacket on, but it doesn’t look any bit odd on her. She steps closer to the Potter’s, stopping in front, holding her hand out. James takes it immediately. She remembers what her mother once told her. Smile when you see them. She tilts her head to the side, giving a half-assed upturn of her lips.

“Hello, Mister, Misses Potter,” she greets. James blinks three times, awstruck by her beauty. “I’m Regulus,” she leans closer. “Their son.”

James clears his throat, feeling himself turn red. Regulus, he’s the most amazing man he’s ever seen in his life. And for fuck’s sake, he would love to marry him.

Walburga’s voice raises. “Lyra, excuse me?” Regulus’ smile drops, and he frowns deeper than the Mariana’s Trench. “Please repeat yourself and reintroduce yourself properly.”

James doesn’t let go of his hand. He cannot think.

“Hello, James, is it?” Regulus asks. James nods. “Hi. I’m Regulus,” he said his name louder. “And I’m their son.”

James cannot stop his words from leaving his mouth. “I’ll do it! I’ll marry your child.” He thanks himself internally for avoiding the misgendering of Regulus Black.

Effie glances at Monty, sending him a silent signal.

Walburga raises a brow. “You’ll marry her? Even after all of her diffidence? She’s not normally like this. I don’t understand it.”

Effie waves her hand, forcing up a smile. “Oh, it’s alright! We can handle it! Where are the papers?” She says this quickly, hoping she can get Regulus out of the house before Walburga can utter another word. And that she did.

[backjustforberena]

Idk I was just thinking that even if it might not have made sense to address the issue in relation to their married life, I still think it's a plote hole not having Rhaenys confronting Corlys about Alyn and Addam's existence.

In House of the Dragon, they’re nearly the same age as Laena and Laenor, and given Rhaenys’ past, Corlys's two illegitimate male children could pose a significant threat to her son and daughter's claim to the Driftwood Throne. In a society as misogynistic and homophobic as Westeros, it’s not unthinkable that Alyn and Addam might be favored over Laena, simply because she’s a woman, or over Laenor, due to his sexuality. And in the event of Corlys' death, his illegitimate sons could still make claims, taking advantage from Corlys's demise, just as Vaemond took advantage of the situation.

In light of this, I still think it might have been in character for Rhaenys to address the issue and not to avoid it at least to understand how to handle Alyn and Addam - in this sense, the only thing that makes me think she might not have addressed it is that she could have discovered it during the six years after her children’s deaths, when she was unable to discuss it because Corlys had left her. But this timeline raises another question: After the deaths of two children and your husband abandoning you, you discover he betrayed you for a long time, given that two sons were born, and yet when he returns, you forgive him instantly?

The way Ryan and co handled this plotline is such a mess

I don't agree that it's a plot hole. A plot hole, by definition, is "a gap or inconsistency in a storyline that goes against the flow of logic established by the story's plot" - it is not a flaw in characterisation or story. I don't see what is inconsistent about this, because it's an isolated topic. And your opinion is based on an incorrect view of succession. I just think you're wrong, I'm sorry.

You're assuming a situation that, actually, has very, very little chance of ever happening and Rhaenys would know that. So inaction makes perfect sense, especially if her priority is to avoid attention and hurt and making a mountain out of a molehill. These boys... they are not a threat to her or to her children. They are forgotten (and possibly younger) bastards hidden away in a dockyard with no chance of legitimacy, favour or power.

Let me make this clear: all legitimate children of a lord have a greater claim than any illegitimate children. In fact, an illegitimate child would need to be made legitimate to be taken seriously when it comes to a claim, especially if the lord has trueborn sons, daughters, and grandchildren. Not to mention any other cousins, brothers or relations.

Gender does affect the order of a succession, but in normal Andal custom, it does not invalidate a contestant from the order of succession. Laena may have been a woman, but she was a claimant and, during this time, women such as Jeyne Arryn do rule. Rhaenys's case is specific to the Iron Throne and the circumstances there.

No one gave a flying fig that Laenor was gay - it's a private matter but also it doesn't matter. It didn't stop him from being his father's heir, and wouldn't have stopped him from becoming Lord of Driftmark any more than it would have prevented him being King Consort. His sexuality has no bearing whatsoever on inheritance laws. We have other gay characters within the franchise, who are either Lords or Heirs. Laenor was his father's heir, there was no question of it, and that was just that. "Favour" does not matter. There is a clear-cut way of things: a lord's trueborn eldest son is to inherit all of his lands and titles upon his lord father's death. Case closed.

Then it goes through Laenor's line. Then it goes to Laena, and Laena's line. Then it passes on to a brother and so on and so on. Without the naming or legitimising of Corlys's bastards: they have no claim. And to be either you'd not only need Corlys acknowledging them (which, we can see from show canon, he's barely able to acknowledge their existence so is hardly going to be happening at whatever time Rhaenys finds out) but you'd need Viserys's seal of approval as well. And who is Viserys? Rhaenys's cousin.

Where does this societal threat come from, that you see? Vaemond was able to shove through his petition based on the fact that he had support from Otto Hightower and the Greens, who were standing in for Viserys aka the Crown. His chances plummeted ASAP when Viserys walked in because he viewed the succession as already settled in accordance with the rules of the time.

Are you imagining Driftmark's people would rise up? Why would they? What would they find so abhorrent about a legitimate relation of Corlys's taking the Driftwood Throne, over some bastards? Especially if Corlys himself has made his wishes clear. I mean, for goodness sake, Alyn eventually inherits and he's naturalised and he still has a sticky time of it. Jeyne Arryn names a trueborn cousin but has a closer relation who sticks his hand up and so that is contested as well. People cling to the old way. This would not be an "old way".

So why would Rhaenys feel threatened by it? They have no legitimacy, no love or championing from their father, no proximity to her children, no chance of being raised to desire High Tide, no access to any forces or powers to try and seize it and no reputation to build a case in time enough to just take Driftmark in the wake of Corlys's death. They're just... not a threat. They're a shadow. Nothing.

In the event of Corlys's death, sure, they could make claims but they would never ever be successful. Heck, I doubt they could even prove Corlys was their father - he never spoke of them. Alyn has white hair, but that's not enough grounds to get They'd be laughed out and whatever monarch was on the Throne wouldn't allow for it. They'd be petitioning Rhaenys's family. They'd be making enemies of the Targaryens. They'd be swiftly managed when the time came, if the time came, and nothing premature needs to be done because chances are, 99%, they'll never come near Rhaenys or her children or her grandchildren.

In conclusion, Rhaenys has no need to "handle" Alyn and Addam. There is no situation that arises, in terms of the political and of the Driftmark succession, just from their existence, especially with Corlys ignoring them.

After the deaths of two children and your husband abandoning you, you discover he betrayed you for a long time, given that two sons were born, and yet when he returns, you forgive him instantly?

Christ, I hate this. I'm sorry, anon, it's not you. But I feel like I've answered this again and again and that the majority of my asks relating to all of this feel like they are just trying to bait me into some bombastic reaction to hit against the characters, pick this side or that, make some declaration that it's all being ruined and shot to hell. I'm not going to do that. I hate doing that. I'm not going to waste my time or energy doing that. Especially because, again, you're assuming.

Admittedly, that's all we can do, but we don't know when she found out. So why get upset at something that I don't know? Why get upset at the way a storyline might have been mishandled or might have gone down?

Could the storyline have been handled better? Sure! It probably could have! I would have enjoyed more facts and a concrete idea of what went on but we have two characters who aren't engaging with the issue, in the same space, until her last episode, and they do so for about 30 seconds and neither want to unpack.

But not having those facts doesn't invalidate what we have on screen. We have what we have and I choose to engage with that. And I will also not oversimplify and forget context. We have little to go on and I can't generalise that the emotion shown in one scene is a reaction to the subject as a whole. The scenes that we have are specific to time and space and headspace and information, you know?

"Forgive him instantly"? Where was THAT? Because I must have missed it. They don't TALK about it. We don't know if she forgave him or not. She was passably kind to Alyn rather than cursing him and she spoke to Corlys, in public, telling him she knew who Alyn was and then the conversation was shut down. She's not FINE with the situation and we certainly can't say she FORGIVES Corlys for it because it's unaddressed.

And do you know why it's unaddressed and also, probably, why the general idea of his abandoning her goes unexplored? Because there is a war on. That takes priority, not only in terms of the character's thoughts (Rhaenys's especially) but also priority within the story and screen time. We're not going to have 15 minutes worth of marriage counselling and turning over the stones of last season when Rhaenys has to die in four episodes.

We're not going to have a whole unburdening of the affair when Rhaenys has to get to Dragonstone and Corlys is just in denial and neither of them are in an emotional position to handle it. They're confronted with it (both of them), they get on the same page about it (vaguely, barely, insofar as they both know Corlys has illegitimate kids), they decide not to speak of it then and there, and then she dies.

Listen, I'm sorry, I'm aware this seems like a rant and I do mean this to be polite and I don't want to feel aggressive at all so you have my premature apology for all of that. But it's just so unclear and messy and painful and knotty and meaty and I think, actually, that should be celebrated and revelled in, rather than reducing it all down to either bad writing (I wouldn't call it bad, just incomplete and unclear) or these banal tropes of a woman scorned and ripping her spouse a new one, or a parody of a saccharine, forgiving, spineless woman begging for a man to stay.

It's more interesting and complex than a man having done wrong but not caring about the pain he causes, and a woman bending over backwards for him despite that because she doesn't think she has any other option. That's not them at all.

Rhaenys is a woman in pain. Corlys is a man full of shame. Both love each other and derive happiness, pleasure and strength from being with each other, talking to each other and leaning on one another. But niether can talk about this issue. War is forcing Rhaenys to look elsewhere. Proximity to past sins is making Corlys vulnerable. Rhaenys is exhausted from her duties pulling her this way and that. Corlys is recovering from a near-mortal injury and is stuck mourning a lost heir and being unable to join the fight. It's good stuff.

[fipindustries]

i remember my first serious real brush with queerness was when i was like 13 and i identified as a boy back then.

i grew up in an interesting time period, within an interesting generation. back then, smack dab in the mid 2000's, gay acceptance was spread enough that it was generally uncouth to be overtly homophobic but not so accepted that it wasnt still a huge deal if someone turned out to be gay. most media depicted gay people with general acceptance (albeit with a lot of cheap stereotypes) but it was still treated as this radical controversial topic to talk about openly. calling things "gay" as an insult was still socially acceptable. and people overall were still very awkward with it.

point is, i was aware of gay people from a relatively young age, and what's more, i was aware that once i hit puberty hormones were going to kick in and who knew where that coin was going to flip, i might end up attracted to boys! i had enough self awareness that i considered this a genuine possibility to worry about and prepare for beforehand.

so what i did was basically test the waters with my parents (who were divorced). first i went to my dad, and let me tell you that was a really fucking scary conversation, i rehearsed it a million times in my head and when the time came to drop the subject i was sweating all over. what's funny is that it wasnt like i had a crush on a specific guy or i had felt any particular attraction to men back then, there wasnt any reason for me to do the coming out the closet number. and yet here i was acting at 13 like i was about to full on "confess".

anyway, i dropped the "how would you react if i happened to be gay, not that i am gay, in fact i have a girl im super attracted to in school and her name is this and this is her social security number and her adress and a picture of her i have under my pillow that i kiss every night" (it wasnt quite like that but sort of).

he, feeling extremely uncomfortable, said that he would be very upset about it but that i would still be his son and he would try to be a good father to me. so that was a clear signal that i was probably not going to be super safe with him.

a few days later i did the same thing with my mom and she was like "oh yeah, i would love you and accept you no matter what in fact you uncle, my younger brother is gay, and also this other cousin" and i was like "WHAT" and i had to go to the bathroom for a few seconds to stare in the mirror because that was kind of a mindblown.

bottom line, i was living with my mom at the time, not my dad, so that helped me decide that i was probably safe if i happened to be attracted to boys, i was still a little worried about the subject but i decided i didnt have to think about it until i actually ended up crushing for a guy and until then it was all very theoretical and not worth worrying about.

like a couple of months later i happened to come across brokeback mountain while doing zapping on tv and i actually got horny watching those cowboys go at it and i ended up masturbating to it. afterwards i was like "huh, ok, i guess that settles that question".

anyway, i ended up being trans so that was all kind of moot by the end of the day, lol.

[general-george-washington]

U see Philips in my family have a 3 to 1 going on in that. 3 are gay and one was a homophobic father

[cristinablackthornkingson]

This Poor Unruly Heart.  A Thomastair fic.

Cross-posted to my AO3. 

***TW/CW**** Alcoholism. Homophobia. Homophobic slurs. (Shortened version of the F slur is used) Emotional abuse. Abusive parent. Abusive relationships. Mention of child loss.

It is a cold Winter’s day in late 1903, when both Alastair Carstairs and Thomas Lightwood, make the most terrifying and nerve wracking decision of their lives. After 3 months of being with each other they have decided to hide no longer, and come out to their parents.

Out of the two of them, Alastair is certainly most terrified, for so long Charles made him believe that he would always have to live in secret, he manipulated and twisted him into believing that everyone would be disgusted and hate him. Alastair knows his mother is a very traditional woman, and throughout his childhood he has heard his father throw around slurs and nasty words about people like Alastair.

However Alastair does not want to hide anymore, like he had to with Charles, he loves Thomas and wants everyone to know that, no matter what. With Elias still being in Idris for another day or so, Alastair will have a chance to speak with him privately, if all goes well with telling his mother.

Cordelia has known that Alastair is gay for a while now, she was the first person he came out to, and has been nothing but loving and supportive toward him, when he told her his plans to come out to their parents, she offered to be there for moral support. Alastair happily agreed, glad to have her to lean on.

So now he has found himself in the drawing room of Cirenworth, sitting on the couch next to Cordelia, across from their mother, who at 7 months pregnant looks more stressed, tired and ill than Alastair has ever seen her. He’s terrified of stressing her out and worrying her further, afraid of hurting her or the baby, but he refuses to have his baby brother or sister born into a world where their big brother is hiding a big part of who he is. If the baby is like Alastair, he wants them to have a good influence, someone to look up to and admire, like he has always secretly admired Anna.

“What trouble have you two gotten into now?” Sona’s tired but amused voice pulls Alastair from his thoughts. He smiles and lets out a breathy laugh, his poor mother having to deal with everything he and Cordelia and their friends got up to recently, hopefully the baby won’t be such a handful when they grow up.

“No mamán, we haven’t done anything, I... I need to speak with you about something, something I... discovered about myself.” Aalstair chooses his words carefully, trying not to fidget or let his nerves overtake him.

“Alright, what is it?” Sona asks, leaning back in her chair and folding her hands over her bump. Alastair gives Cordelia a brief glance and she smiles and slips her hand into his and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Alastair holds tightly to Cordelia and takes a deep breath. He then looks straight at his mother, and calmly says

“I’m gay, I’m attracted to men, and I’ve been seeing someone, a man. Thomas Lightwood to be exact. We’ve been seeing eachother for a few months now and I wanted to finally tell you mamán, because it is a big part of me and my life.”

Sona leans forward in her chair and takes Alastair’s free hand in hers.

“Are you happy?” She calmly asks. Alastair wordlessly nods, not daring to get his hopes up. “And this Lightwood boy, does he make you happy, does he treat you well?”

“Yes.” Alastair says in a breathy tone. “I... I love him, mamán, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I have never been happier than I have been since I began seeing Thomas. He... he makes me feel so loved and important.”

Sona smiles warmly and brushes her son’s dark hair back from his face.

“Then if you are happy, I’m happy.” Alastair feels the tears of relief and joy well up in his eyes as his breath catches in his throat.

“R-really?” He stammers. Sona nods and brushes his tears away.

“Yes Eshgham, all I want for you, Cordelia and this baby, is for you to be happy and healthy. Nothing and no one matters more to me than you 3, and a little thing like the sex of the person you love, is not going to make a difference to how much I love you, Alastair.” Sona’s voice is soft and low, full of love but also firm, so Alastair knows how serious she is.

Alastair lets out a sob of relief and lets his head fall onto his mother’s shoulder, as her arms go around him, her hand running through his hair, while Cordelia rubs his back.

“I love you mamán.” Alastair sniffs. Sona presses a kiss to his forehead.

“I love you too Alastair joon, very much. I do want to meet this Thomas boy of course, to make sure he’s deserving of you, not just anyone is worthy of being loved by my son, you know.” Sona lightly says, as Alastair lifts his head and wipes at his tears. He laughs at the thought of tall, muscular Thomas being lectured by his small, heavily pregnant mother.

“He is James’ cousin, so I think you will like him very much.” Alastair laughs, knowing how much his mother adores James.

“Like who very much?” The sweet and happy moment is suddenly interrupted by a gruff voice from the doorway that makes the blood in Alastair’s veins run cold. He turns his head to see his father standing in the doorway, dressed smartly but with his hair greasy and ratty, months worth of stubble on his jaw, his eyes bloodshot with dark circles underneath them, and a poorly hidden bottle of whisky poking out of his coat pocket.

“Oh Elias, we weren’t expecting you back for another day or so.” Sona says in a somewhat surprised tone, pushing herself to her feet to greet her husband, going in for a kiss to the cheek but recoiling when she smells the alcohol on him.

Elias completely ignores his wife, focusing all of his attention on Alastair.

“Who and what were you talking about? It seems like you were in the middle of a rather serious moment.” He asks in a deadly calm voice.

“Papa not now, Alastair is tired.” Cordelia protests, wanting to do whatever she can to save her brother having to face their father unplanned like this.

“I was not speaking to you Cordelia, I was speaking to your brother. I will ask again, who and what were you talking about? If you told your mother, you need to tell me.” there is now anger and irritation seeping into Elias’ tone.

“I...” Alastair begins, not quiet sure where to go with this. “Um, well I...”

“Have you hit your head or are you honestly as dense as I always knew?” Elias spits out in acidic tone, horrifying everyone in the room. It’s not the first time he’s spoken so cruelly to Alastair, though he’s never done so in front of anyone else before.

“Papa!” Cordelia protests.

“Be quiet Cordelia. You, get on with it.” He growls, glaring at Alastair.

“I’m gay!” Alastair blurts, cringing at how abrupt and sudden it was.

Elias scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Don’t be ridiculous Alastair, you are far too young to know who you do and do not love, not that it is love, homosexuality is a disease, an illness of the mind.” He tells him in a dismissive tone. Alastair feels as though his heart may break in half. Nobody has ever said something so cruel to him before.

“No it is not, the love I feel for Thomas is just the same as any other type of love. He makes me happy and treats me well, I love him, it is one of the very few things in life I have ever been so certain of. I love him, father.” Alastair’s tone is tight as tears start to well up again, but there is also pride in his tone, and love at the thought of Thomas.

Before Alastair can comprehend anything else, his father is right in front of him, face to face, so close Alastair can smell the stench of alcohol on his breath.

“Elias let him go!” Sona yells, tugging at her husband’s arm, only to have him shake her off.

“No mamán don’t, you may get hurt, you or the baby.” Alastair tells her, holding his chin high and refusing to show his father any fear.

“Now you listen here boy.” Elias hisses. “No son of mine is going to be some disgusting fag, I will not have you taint the good family name of Carstairs. You are not irreplaceable, that child your mother carries could well be a boy, I could very easily replace you with him. And if you wish to have a place under my roof, you will shut your disgusting little mouth and never speak of this filth again!”

“Papa! Don’t speak to him like that, leave him alone!” Cordelia yells, trying to pull her father away, only for him to push her back, almost knocking her over.

Alastair has never been a violent man, despite his nasty attitude when he was younger, he would actually never harm a fly. However this time, Elias his gone too far. Alastair firmly places his hands on his father’s chest and with force, shoves him away so he is not in his face.

Alastair is about to respond, to tell Elias he’s free to replace him with the new baby, but Sona speaks up first.

“That is enough!” Her strong and firm tone rings clear through the room, stopping everyone and everything in their tracks.

“Elias Carstairs if you so much as ever lay a hand on my son again, I swear to the angel you will be sorry. You need to get off of your pedestal, you are not some all high and mighty holier than though member of society, you are a nasty, abusive man who refuses to get help for an addiction that has ruined everything. You ruined Alastair’s childhood with your alcoholism, I am not about to let you ruin the rest of his life with your homophobia.

I have put up with your nasty and abusive ways for the last 18 years, I have dealt with you calling me fat, lazy, useless, ugly, and many, many other things. I am done with it, no more. I took your abuse with the hope you would leave Cordelia and Alastair alone, and they could have nice normal lives. That is not how it works though, I know better now. I deserve better, my children deserve better.

I want a divorce, Elias, and I will be making sure you have no custody or involvement of this baby, as far as I am concerned this child is mine and mine alone, they have no father.”

There is a shocked silence throughout the room, following Sona’s pronouncement. Alastair feels guilty for feeling happy that his mother is leaving his father, and hopeful that he can escape him. He’s not meant to want his parents to split up, being the child of a divorced couple is shameful according to society. But why? Why is it shameful for Sona to escape her abuser, to give her baby a better chance at life and to take Cordelia and Alastair away from a toxic and abusive person?

The first to speak is Elias. He scoffs and sneers at his wife.

“Oh please, you need me Sona, you have nowhere to go and nothing without me.”

“I will go to The Institute, The Herondales will welcome me. I have plenty, Elias, I have savings you know nothing of, I have valuables I can sell should I need to, I have clothes for the baby, nappies are not hard to come by, I have everything I need, I most certainly do not need you.” Sona’s tone is impassive as she steadily holds Elias’ gaze. She then turns to her children, her gaze softening slightly.

“Alastair, Cordelia, you are of course welcome to come with me, wherever I find a home you will have a home, but if you wish to stay with your father then I will not be hurt or upset, and you will still be able to see your little brother or sister when they are born. The choice is yours.” Of course Sona wants her children to come with her, but she knows forcing them to if they do not want to, will not make her any better than Elias.

“I want to go with you mamán.” Cordelia immediately says, the love and respect she has always held for her father now shattered into pieces, never to be repaired.

“Me too, and I can help you with money mamán, now that I am old enough to receive earnings from The Clave.” Alastair says, leaning into his mother, who smiles and cups his cheek.

“Thank you Azizam, but you most certainly do not have to.” She then links her arm through with his and puts the other around Cordelia’s shoulders. “Come along, we can come back for our things later. For now I would like to meet your Thomas, Alastair. I am sure he’s a good boy if he’s related to James, but I need to be sure, as I said, not just anyone is deserving of my son’s heart.”

Alastair smiles brightly, his heart lifting and his pain easing at the thought of introducing his mother to Thomas, and having a peaceful and calm life at The Institute, where he will be free to love Thomas and be himself.

Meanwhile, in the Lightwood London townhouse, Thomas is nervously sitting in front of his parents in the drawing room, preparing to come out to them. He is sure they’ll be loving and accepting, they love and accept Anna, but maybe it will be different with their own child, especially their only son. Perhaps his father expects him to carry on the Lightwood name, what with Christopher having no interest in romance or anything of the sort, and little Alex only being 3.

“What’s going on Tommy? What do you need to talk to us about?” Sophie’s concerned voice pulls Thomas from his thoughts, and he lifts his head to look at his parents, sitting side by side, their hands entwined, both of them looking concerned.

“Uhh...” Thomas begins in an unsure tone. “Well... I’m... I’m gay.” Thomas blurts out, wanting it over and done with, holding his breath as he waits for his parents to react.

Immediately they both visibly relax, Gideon’s shoulders slumping in relief and Sophie placing a hand on her chest and letting out a sigh of relief.

“Oh love is that all?” Sophie asks with a hint of amusement in her tone. Baffled, Thomas nods.

“You gave us a fright Tom, we thought something was dreadfully wrong.” Gideon laughs, relieved beyond words that all is well with Thomas. He could not lose another child, Barbara’s death almost killed him, loosing Thomas or Eugenia would certainly be the end of him.

“We’ve always known that about you my darling, do you think we haven’t noticed you gawping at all the handsome men we pass on the street, or how you just loved hearing about your sisters' courting conquests and always asked for details on the men?” Sophie laughs, remembering 11 year old Thomas sitting with his sisters and listening intently as Barbara recounted her first outing with her first boyfriend.

“It... it doesn’t bother you?” Thomas asks in a hopeful tone. Could it really be this simple and easy? Could he be so lucky?

“Not one bit.” Sophie assures him.

“Just don’t steal Eugenia’s dresses if you want to wear women’s clothes, she loves you but she will not be pleased if you steal her dresses.” Gideon says in a light tone, earning a laugh from Thomas.

“I would not dare get between Genie and her dresses, though I have no desire to wear one myself, they seem rather uncomfortable.” He says.

“You do not know the half of it my love.” Sophie laughs, squeezing Thomas’ hand. “Is there anything else you wish to tell us? Remember, we’ll always love you and support you.”

Thomas bites his lip and takes a few seconds to think, before looking at his parents again.

“Well... actually, I am seeing someone. Alastair Carstairs to be exact.” Thomas nervously admits.

“Oh he is a lovely boy! Good to know your good sense continues through to the romantic aspect of your life.” Sophie grins, shocking Thomas.

“You like him? But mama he was the one who spread those nasty rumors about you a few years ago.” Thomas quietly says. He knows Alastair has changed and grown since then, but does his mother?

“He was a child, a scared child who was going through a lot of trauma, he made a mistake for which he is clearly very sorry. And besides I think it is quiet obvious that he at 16 did not just suddenly decide to spread rumors about strange adults who had nothing to do with him. I would not be surprised in the least if he was repeating what he heard from his father.” Sophie quietly says, trying not to let her anger escape. She is not angry with Alastair, but she is angry with Elias, who has said very unkind things about her before, some to her face and some behind her back.

Before Thomas can reply, there is a rap on the dinning room door and Scarlet- the Lightwood’s maid- steps in.

“Sorry to interrupt M’am, Sirs, there are guests here to see you, Mrs. Carstairs and her two children.” Scarlet quietly says. Thomas’ heart begins to race. Why is Alastair here? Is he alright?

“Oh, please do send them through Scarlet, thank you.” Sophie says, wondering why the Carstairs’ have turned up here. It’s not as if they are very close friends or anything of the sort.

A few seconds later Sona Carstairs steps into the drawing room, followed closely by Cordelia and Alastair.

“I am very sorry to intrude and interrupt, we can leave if we are inconveniencing you.” Sona says in an apologetic tone.

“No no nonsense, you are very welcome. Please, sit. Would you like something to drink or eat? Would you like to put your feet up, Sona?” Sophie kindly asks, remembering how easily her feet swelled up when she was pregnant all 3 times, by the time she was 7 months pregnant with Barbara she couldn’t fit into her shoes anymore and had to buy new ones specifically for pregnancy.

“Thank you, you are very kind but a simple seat will do, I get so tired so easily these days.” Sona says in a breathy tone, as Cordelia helps her sit in a nearby armchair.

Thomas and Alastair, meanwhile, share a delighted look at seeing one another. Thomas grins and quickly strides across the room and slips his hand into Alastair's.

“Mama, papa, this is Alastair, my boyfriend.” He proudly says, grinning at his parents.

Sophie immediately joins them and pulls Alastair into a hug, taking him by complete surprise.

“Don’t break his heart, alright?” Sophie softly says when she pulls back, placing a hand on Alastair’s cheek. Alastair smiles and nods.

“I promise, Mrs. Lightwood.”

Sophie smiles and squeezes his hand before stepping back to let Gideon talk to Alastair.

“Our Thomas is a sweet boy, with so much capacity to love. I’m sure you already know this but it is an honor to be loved by him in anyway. Never forget that, alright?” Alastair nods.

“Of course not Mr. Lightwood.” He assures him. Gideon smiles and holds his hand out for Alastair to shake.

“Good, and if you ever need some fatherly advice or a man to man talk, I am always here.” The offer almost makes Alastair tear up again.

“Thank you Mr. Lightwood, I very much appreciate that.”

“Now you just have to meet Genie, I think she will like you too.” Thomas lightly says, laying his head on Alastair’s shoulder. Alastair chuckles and puts an arm around his boyfriend.

“Well now it is my turn to introduce you to my family. You already know Layla, but you haven’t met my wonderful mother yet. Mamán this is Thomas, my boyfriend.”

With help from Cordelia Sona stands up from her chair and beams brightly at Thomas. She pulls him down for a hug and squeezes tightly.

“It is so lovely to meet the boy who has made my Alastair happy again. Treat him well.”

Over the next few months the Lightwoods and Carstairs grow very close. Gideon helps Sona begin proceedings for her divorce and also helps her make a case against Elias having any custody of the baby. They have plenty of evidence of him being an unfit parent and a danger to the baby, so it only takes a matter of weeks for it be agreed upon by The Silent Brothers and The Clave that Elias has no legal rights to the baby and will not be allowed around them at all.

Sophie helps Sona through the rest of her difficult pregnancy, having had a hard pregnancy herself, with Thomas.

Thomas and Alastair grow closer and fall even more in love, and Cordelia finds a new friend in Eugenia.

2 months later on a rainy February day, Cordelia, Alastair, Thomas and Eugenia are all nervously waiting outside the Institute infirmary, waiting for word on Sona who went into labor in the early hours of the morning. Brother Zachariah came right away, and has been doing a wonderful job of helping Sona through her labor while also keeping everyone else updated.

8 hours after Sona went into labor, the silence of the infirmary waiting room is interrupted by the squeaking of the infirmary door opening.

The 4 teenagers turn to look at the doorway, where Brother Zachariah now stands, his hood drawn back and his hands folded neatly in front of him.

“Uncle Jem.” Cordelia leans forward, eager to hear what he has to say. “Is mama alright, and the baby?”

Yes everything is absolutely fine Cordelia. In fact, you have a healthy baby brother, congratulations.

Cordelia gasps and shrieks in delight, turning to hug Alastair tightly.

“A boy! It’s a boy Al, we have a baby brother!” She gleefully exclaims. Alastair laughs in delight and holds his sister tight, picking her up and spinning her around twice, unable to contain his utter glee and delight. His mother is alright, his baby brother is alright, everything is alright.

“Two against one! You are done for, Layla!” Alastair teases, setting his sister down and affectionately tugging at a lock of her hair. Cordelia laughs and playfully swats him on the arm.

“Not a chance! I’m going to go hold him first!” she quickly turns on her heel and hurries into the infirmary after Jem.

“I always wanted a little brother, I’m quiet envious!” Thomas lightly says, slipping an arm around Alastair’s waist. “I am very happy for you.” Alastair beams at his boyfriend and kisses him.

“I love you.”

"I love you too."

[slashify]

So here’s the deal:

My cousin, who has always been like a brother to me, is getting married in September. My father and I weren’t planning on going, because while we are on great terms with him and his bride, many of the guests will be very Trumpy, including his parents. We cut ties with his parents about two years ago, in a fairly ugly way, which included his mother, my dad’s sister, equating loving Trump to being gay, and implying she only barely tolerated my sexuality in the name of family unity, so we should do the same with them loving Trump. So we weren’t planning to go to the wedding.

We don’t want to make a scene. It’s their day, and I don’t think that’s the right venue for us seeing each other for the first time in two years, especially because there’s a 50/50 chance of my aunt making a big scene because we’re there and her child brought us back together, or making a big scene because how dare we be there?!? Even though we’ve been formally invited by the happy couple.

We probably won’t go. But!

Part of me wants to show up in a beautiful blue dress and completely ignore her. It’s my cousin’s wedding. If it were my wedding, nothing could stop he and I from having a nerdy dance to literally any cheesy 90’s song.

It’s her son’s wedding and I wouldn’t do anything to take that away from her. So why do I feel like I have to stay away?

Please weigh in!

A) Don’t go. You being there would be a spectacle.

B) Don’t go. No matter how classy you act, Auntie will make a scene.

C) Go! But be classy. Don’t drink. Sit at your own table and don’t talk to anyone unless they insist. If Auntie makes a scene that’s on her, and you were invited.

D) Go! And make a scene! Get drunk! Call Auntie a fascist homophobic asshole! Fuck a (non-relative) member of the bridal party! Embarrass your father (he’ll forgive you!) (your cousin has cleaned puke out of your hair, he’ll also forgive you. His future wife might not.)

[akegatacchi]

Sense8 AU!aftg

In the honor of absolutlynothing I’ve decided to put out there one of the many au I have on my phone and archive it there

Big shout out to @a-m-peengoo and @bluesuederose for participating in this mess with genius lines and always be there to bear my 36 ideas per hour. We did a masterpiece girls.

Here we go it’s gonna be long

The cluster:

Kevin: Nomi. He’s just a fuckin hacker who’s running away from his family (riko). When he’s bored, he spends nights crashing the Pentagon system for fun, and makes every screen in the White House play Best Exy Actions Compilation (the longest and hardest part is choosing one compilation to play).

Dan: Will. One of them have to keep them under control. Plus, Dan with a gun i can’t even-

Matt: Riley. Soft, blue strand of hair, a heart of gold, maternal. As a DJ. Yes. SO SOFT (he still knows how to box)

Allison: Capheus. Listen. Imagine Allison in high heels, skin tight leather pants, driving a bus. Also, a F1 pilot champion who can drive anything (even if it’s the first time)

Andrew: Wolfgang. Duh. Do I need to explain myself. Just think abt him saying “This is Berlin. Those are my people. And we go to our knees for no one”.Boy he does NOT like this situation, at all. Will keep the others out with sheer willpower and no blockers. The cluster’s deadliest weapon. PLUS HELLO???? ANDREW IN A PASTEL PINK BOMBER SHOOTING ON A HELICOPTER WITH A BAZOOKA????

Aaron: Felix? Sorta? not a senseate but a great doctor. Senses bullshit and when someone is in Andrew’s body real quick  (Andrew: says more than 2 sentences and is pleasant. Aaron:.....who’s that bitch where is my brother) . Later helps to manufacture blockers.

Neil: Kala. A pharmacist that uses his skill for arson and may or may not be running away from mafia/family matter and currently hiding in India. Him saying “Bring it, bitch” to Riko is my sexuality and Andrew’s. Can create explosives from a Fanta can and spices I mean it’s already canon in aftg. (plus andreil would work even better bc technically Neil can’t even touch Andrew for real)

Nicky: Lito. The drama, the sass. Also the scene where he discovers the Twinyard in Germany are his cousins would be hilarious. The scene where Lito seduces the nurse but with Nicky (“engaging into heterosexual activity? me????”) or the scene where Lito screams in the museum but with Nicky

Erik as Hernando. That’s it that’s the post.

Renee: Sun. I mean, a korean fighter lady in prison trying to be a better person and had a silent bffs relationship with a german gangster? Come on. Also. Allison in a bus and Renee doing art martials stuff. 

Riko: whispers i guess he can eat Allison’s high heels

Now the ~scenes~ (it’s just shitposting):

Aaron, on the verge on several break downs: wait so you have like … DJ Blue Matt and F1 pilot Allison Reynolds in your head? since when? ANDREW SINCE WHE-

*

Neil: what’s a better use of a multiple thousands dollars education than precise arson?????

*

Aaron: why does your boyfriend always end up burning things up?

Andrew: he lits up my heart as well

Aaron: FOR FUCK SAKE

*

Kevin, shocked and betrayed: is there a better sport than exy?

Aaron and Allison: YEAH A REALLY GOOD CAR RACE

*

Allison: you’re - you’re like the spirit of Lucy Liu. In Charlie’s Angels. I watch it once a day. Renee:.....that’s sweet actually :) 

*

Neil: does a molotov cocktail

Matt: I tHoUgHt yOu wErE a PhArMaCiSt

Neil: Yes? That’s PHYSICS

Matt: no that’s ARSON NEIL

Alternative:

Kevin: breaks into the Pentagon virtually

Neil: breaks into the Pentagon physically

Matt, again: i thought you were a PHARMACIST!!!! Neil: Yes I am??? That’s irrelevant

*

A senseate sibling, escaping, grabbing a vehicle at random: someone knows how to drive that?

Allison, in stilettos : no, but I sure will soon

*

Just Allison driving Renee around to fight people

*

Everytime someone mocks a senseate sibling Neil or Nicky shows up to roast them. Sometimes they do it both at the same time. It’s apocalyptic. The sass. The drama. 

They can also bullshit their way out of any situation. Neil is such a smooth liar and Nicky is just ridiculous. The FBI agent charged to arrest them somehow ends up crying abt childhood trauma while hugging a teddy bear.

Neil, caught in the act of making a string of explosives by the FBI guy: uuuuuuh….Nicky?

Nicky, currently dealing with a white mom in retail: somehow convince the FBI to buy christmas lights

(Yes Nicky works in retail bc his family cut ties with him but he hopes to be an actor.ON BROADWAY)

(From retail to actor to cluster negotiator real quick)

A  fuckin moron to Allison: a hottie like you driving a bus? what is this, hooker on wheels?

Neil: please let me have this one

Allison: seats back and enjoys Neil roasting him

Nicky: brings the popcorn

Nicky, to the FBI guy: You can’t arrest me Daryl I’m your long lost little brother

The FBI guy, a white man: My name is not Daryl Neil: THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE

The FBI guy, texting Neil (don’t ask): I guess I’m still in love with my ex

Nicky: aaaaaw we have to help this sweetheart

Neil: do you want me to burn his current boyfriend’s car, buddy?

(Nicky: DON’T REMIND HIM THAT HE’S SUPPOSED TO ARREST US)

*

A fuckin homophobe: ready to get your ass kicked, faggot?

Andrew: appears through Nicky

Nicky, smiling: fuck yeah, baby 

*

Andrew, between two bazooka shot, to Neil:  we’re nothing

*

Nicky, through Andrew, all cheery: Hi!!!! :D

(Aaron jumps like a scared cat)

*

Andrew: ready to kill ppl for mafia business

All the senseate siblings in the back minus Renee, eating popcorn and enjoying the show: Kick ass, Drew!

*

Andrew, on the hospital bed: has an emotional moment with Aaron

Aaron: sir or ma'am, idk who you are but it’s family only, I will ask you, as his doctor, to leave my brother’s body

*

Aaron: Andrew is2g if you’re making psychic love to that fuckin red hair rn i will-

*

Andrew each time a senseate is hurt: Aaron it’s for you

(Just Aaron doing med tutorials for a whole cluster while Andrew repeats it with a bored tone to everyone)

(Aaron, sighs: it is Neil again? Just let him bleed for a few minutes)

*

Neil, making bomb with kitchen stuff: If it means losing you then no

Andrew, falling in love: oh

*

Bad guy: You have no weapon, blondie!

Allison, with Renee and Dan behind her: Think again, sweetheart

*

They made a little “honorary cluster member” badge to Aaron (he does not cry STFU NEIL)

*

Dan and Neil both knows by heart the laws of different countries…..for very different reasons.

*

Luther: humiliates Nicky once again

Renee: calmly breaks his hand at dinner while smiling like an angel, all the while stopping Andrew from killing him with the other hand

*

Neil, a pharmacist: blowing shit up and arson

Aaron, a doctor, watching him: yk what hold my beer I know several ways to stop a man’s heart

*

The whole “You don’t know how to use a gun” “No, but you do” with andreil or matt and dan

*

Just Drew and Renee kicking some mafia asses together as buddies

(While Neil blows some shit up in the background and Allison/Nicky cheer)

*

Matt has the perfect ear too

Him and Kevin are the remote operation/communication team but one day all the fighters/criminals of the cluster are busy so they both start to fight as well and fuck they are good at it

Nicky: I expected this from Biceps Matt but Kevin??? You can land a kick like that???

Kevin, outraged: I WENT TO THE EXY OLYMPICS WHEN I WAS 16

*

Speaking of Kevin, they all call him “nerd” or “einstein”

Allison: so the nerd can fight uh

*

Aaron, counting down on his fingers: so you have F1 Pilot Superstar Allison Reynolds, former gold medalist and tech genius Kevin Day, a human diapason, a multilingual arsonist, World no.1 Taekwondo Champion Renee Walker, a cop, an actor…..what are you there for??

Andrew, literally a mafia king:....ice cream and crime?

*

Neil to Andrew, after the whole debacle with his father is out: You did know there were mafia out of Germany too, right?

Andrew: I can’t even have that for myself fuck this family

*

Dan, every time before each “mission”: okay guys I know we need to do it but I’d like to remind ALL of you *looks pointly at Neil and Andrew* it’s STILL illegal and morally dubious

Neil: …….like I said to Nicky, irrelevant *without missing a beat blows up the entire building and puts on stolen Gucci shades*

Alternative:

Neil: ok saint theresa why were you the one to suggest we explode Riko’s brain off then

Dan: ...don’t turn the conversation around me it’s about you

*

Allison “guess we’re detourning a place next” Reynolds and Kevin “It’s not that hard to pilot” Day

(Kevin: But why are you on a plane to Russia? I thought you were in India last time?

Neil:....don’t ask)

*

Aaron to Andrew, where they are trapped and betrayed: your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to know how to poison a whole room with gaz?

Neil: I was born for this moment

(Andrew: just bc you’re my brother doesn’t mean you have the right to dirty talk my boyfriend)

*

Andrew: be gay, do crime and eat ice cream

Nicky: AND BLOW NEIL’S D-

*

(before they know abt Neil’s past, when Andrew is angsty bc he caught feelings)

Andrew: You  shouldn’t get close to me, it’s dangerous, i’m mafia

Neil: oh haven’t you heard-

*

Jeremy, bouncing out of nowhere: Hey Kev ! Love how you BI-nary code ahah have you heard of the ARCHIPELAGO 

*

Neil, sipping tea: so my father is the Butcher

Matt:  okokokok coolcoolcoolcool yk what arson doesn’t sound like a bad idea after all

*

(this one is not funny sorry) but Neil taking over each time someone is hurt bc he is used to deal with it

“Give the pain to me”

*

Andrew and Aaron like to fuck around a lot with the whole sensate stuff (since only one of them is a sensate)

Bad guy: only one of you is a sensate, which one is it?

Twinyard, in a perfect and flat tone: try to guess

A bad guy is spying on Andrew and waiting to kill him in Germany, via a cam, thinking he’s safe BUT SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER it was aaron dressed as Andrew in a mafia meeting and now you have to deal with a 5 feet tall mafia boy

*

For real tho they are a little protective of the normal doctor who heal them every time (yes even Neil but don’t tell him) so you bet something like that happens one day:

Aaron: comes home from work angry

Andrew, cleaning up blood or counting money: whassup shithead?

Aaron: There’s this older doctor he’s great and all but he’s a fuckin asshole to me he belittles me everyday bc i’m young and we lost a patient today bc he rathers humiliate me than let me save him 

Andrew, a dangerous glint in his eyes and a whole cluster behind him: oh?

Kevin, opens his computer and digs up dirt on him: give me a sec

Allison: I can roll over him with my truck

Neil: there is so many ways to mix two meds and kills him ON ACCIDENT

Dan: let’s see how he deals in prison

Nicky: oh this is going to be fun

Kevin, reciting facts like he’s reading a grocery list: so yeah he smuggles meds from the hospital so local drug dealers, illegally sells meds for himself on the black market, does tax evasion, is friend with a local senator and both of them are involved with minors….i have already several reservation at X hotel btw and cases of work harassment on nurses and interns, threats to others older doctors in serve, and OH. OH. We have a spanking kink on our hands too.

Every members of the cluster, turning to Nicky and Neil:....go wild

Nicky, giggling: not that’s it’s a shame when it’s consensual but not here so - let’s start with the spanking :D

Neil: Can I make him cry

No violence is used but the doctor is found on the floor drowning in his own tears after a few minutes and after an hour he’s resigned and leaving the country

Andrew was dressed as Aaron for that (that being: smuggling Neil and Nicky into the hospital to meet the doctor through him)  and sends him a selfie of a 5 feet surgeon and the man crying on the floor 

It’s their best memory as a family (Aaron hates Neil a little less after that)

Neil to Nicky: why did you stop me from pushing towards suicide??? He’s gonna do that in another country

(Kevin: no if I can help it)

Nicky: bc we don’t do that to people!

Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Allison:...........right

Neil: killing even indirectly is no good but destroying their life and humiliating them publically is good?

Nicky: YES!

Matt and Dan: WAIT NO

(Allison: don’t brother Neil you’ll just hurt your head)

(Neil, close to tears: but...but...but arson?? Andrew, with knives out: alright fuckers who broke his heart?)

*

Matt and Dan bc they’re fuckin weak to Neil: ITS OK BUDDY ARSON IS GOOD

*

I have to end on this note:

Storyline wise, Neil would have make the perfect Wolfgang too….if Wolfgang was a twink.

[aca-awesomenerd]

Dictionary of bechloe multi-chapter fics

aka the updated/better version of my first fic list

2000 miles

Author : omACAgee

Rising DJ internet sensation Beca Mitchell might so happen to fall in love with a cute, bubbly redhead fan of her's who's the ideal perfect girl. Problem is though, they live on opposite sides of the country with only technology keeping them in contact. Will their relationship last without the physical contact?

After Life

Author : phlesh

What happens if you meet your soulmate after you've already died?

Age Is Just A Number

Author : FluentInMovieQuotes

Beca's heading into her senior year of high school, pining to get herself to LA instead. She meets a redhead the night before school starts and they find out that they have a lot in common with each other. Little did Beca know that the next morning she'd discover that this redhead would be her new English teacher. Someone has it hot for the teacher.

A Ginger A DJ A Wedding

Author : EmilliJayne

Chloe convinces Beca to be her date to her brother's wedding :)

And Everyone Wins

Author : littlepip

Beca and Chloe haven't seen each other since high school. They weren't great friends back then, but that wouldn't be the only thing that's changed.

And I Opened Up My Eyes, I Saw The Sign

Author : dandelion3455

Chloe and Beca have never quite figured out their timing. But what happens when Amy's impending wedding practically forces the two girls together? Basically a slow burn that turns into a volcanic eruption and there's a lot of smut.

Awake and Alive

Author : KissKendrick

Chloe knew before she even saw her, that Beca was the girl she was meant to spend her life with. Beca, was drawn to Chloe, for reasons she didn't understand, nor does she care. But Chloe as well as her best friend Aubrey are not what everyone thinks. They are not regular college students. And an old friend from the past is going to stir up a lot of old feelings, & expose the truth.

Barden Preparatory Academy

Author : swanqueenfic13

This is my Bechloe boarding school AU in which Beca is in denial of her sexuality, Chloe had never considered it before, and Aubrey is gay.

Beca's Fall

Author : MidnightBravery

Beca and Chloe get into a big fight over another girl, resulting in Beca walking out on Chloe. Chloe is crying to Aubrey while Beca is getting drunk with Luke, what happens when Beca realizes that everything is slowly falling apart & Jesse finds her on the rooftop of the Station?

Beca Malfoy and the Room of Requirement

Author : awriterofthings

Chloe Weasley attempts to figure Beca Malfoy out while tutoring her.

Bellas Boot Camp

Author : MoonWriting

Adventures come in all sorts and shapes. Bootcamp with Aubrey is one of them for the Barden Bellas, but while there Beca and Chloe each go through their own emotional adventure in their journey to love.

Belong

Author : MakesGoodChoices

Beca Mitchell is a six time Grammy award winner, but Chloe Beale is never far from her mind. What happens when they meet up again at an engagement party five years later?

Between the Lines

Author : SkySsi

"Be honest, I was nothing but a fucking rebound, am I?" Beca stated more than asking. The question pierced through Chloe's heart. It was enough to break her once again.

Beauty and the Badass

Author : Ibbly5

Beca Mitchell is a badass LA music producer, working as a bartender by night. So what happens when an adorable redhead comes into her life?

Blank Slate

Author : HypersomniacGrad

Everyone would kill for a second chance and that's exactly what Chloe gets when one day, five years later, she gets another chance to tell Beca how she feels. Only... Beca was supposedly long gone and the girl who Chloe meets years later has no idea whatsoever who the redhead was…

Blind Love

Author : acafuckmylife

Chloe's best friend Aubrey is marrying the guy of her dreams; she's the maid of honor of course. Planning the wedding is going to be a lot of work, so when Jesse (Aubrey's future husband) suggests that his best man/Best friend Beca Mitchell helps them, a lot can go wrong. Rated T (possibly M later). Bechloe and Jaubrey.

Burn

Author : idontknowmaybe

Chloe Beale needed a change. So when the perfect job opportunity came up in the same LA suburb that her best friend lived in she couldn't pass it up. Can you find yourself and the one when the town is caught up in a horrible nightmare?

By Your Side

Author : drop-your-worries

Sequel to Someone Like Me, but you do not have to read Someone Like Me to understand.

Chances

Author : Melanocortin1

Beca KNOWS she can be better than Tom, she wouldn't even need a second chance. Everyone else seems to know it, she just has to get Chloe to realize it too.

Club Bellissimo

Author : redchocopanda

Emily Junk, on her last year in Barden, wishes to recruit new talented Bellas, to win the ICCAs again, to enter LA's super exclusive hangout, Club Bellissimo, to have a Bella reunion & most importantly she wishes to see Beca and Chloe finally be together and have gorgeous babies. **CLUB BELLISSIMO is the Dickens' novel Anna K hates and Brittany S would be secretly reading over wine

Company Woman

Author : BeChloeIsLegit

It always seems that Chloe is the one getting married and Beca is left pining over her/cutting off contact. What if this time, Beca is the one getting married (to some woman) and Chloe's the one pining and regretting that she missed her chance?

Counter Attack

Author : AchaeaMG

Beca has a deal with her father. She promised to play on the Barden field hockey team for a year and he would then help her move to LA. Things don't go as expected.

Crashed the Wedding

Author : Britishgal

Chloe finds herself stuck in her hell scenario. The wedding of now five-year-running couple Jesse Swanson and Beca Mitchell. HER Beca Mitchell. Thank god it's only a dress rehearsal because Chloe has to tell her something, before it's too late.

CR's Wedding

Author : Homosexy

The Bellas are performing a set at Cynthia Rose's wedding. Beca's finding it hard to sort out a track list for the mix they'll use, let alone sort out her feelings for a certain redhead. Her confusion leads her to some unconventional advice sources. Will it be the fairy tale ending?

Destiny

Author : KateLides321

Beca Mitchell moves to Atlanta to live with her cousin Jesse. Upon arriving she meets a beautiful girl who's dog named Destiny got loose and ran up to her. Maybe this was meant to be or is destiny playing a cruel trick on her heart.

Dreams

Author : TrulyBeTold

Aubrey and Chloe celebrate the Bellas' win, but Chloe isn't as happy as she thought she would be. And Beca finally got the courage to be with Jesse, so why does she feel like something's missing? And which of our favorite Bellas will help piece the puzzle together?

Dreams Can Come True

Author : FluentInMovieQuotes

Sequel To It’s All About Finding Yourself

Endless Journey

Author : scrappymitchell

Nearly two years after first starting their relationship and a lot had changed for Beca and Chloe as both individuals and as a couple. Beca's career has been taking off hard since she let out her first single and Chloe was working her way up the ladder to be a vet, both having their success bringing some difficulties along the way for them as well as pressures on certain aspects of their relationship.

But given how in love they were, both of them were willing to make some sacrifices to be together.

ERASED

Author : HypersomniacGrad

Beca Mitchell possesses an ability that sends her back in time moments before a life-threatening incident, allowing her to prevent them from happening. When her father is murdered, Beca's ability sends her back 10 years to when she was in high school, giving her the opportunity to prevent a kidnapping incident that took the lives of 3 people she knew, including the girl she liked.

Everything I Never Knew I Wanted

Author : Well Fancy That 13

Beca is one of the world's biggest DJ's and music producers, Chloe is an on-the-rise It-Girl in Hollywood. Beca Mitchell thought she had it all, but then she met Chloe Beale.

Everything You Want

Author : funnyhowthatis

In the morning after the Bellas win the final competition, Beca and Chloe realize that they might not have gotten all that they wanted.

Fallen

Author : Iwentdownwiththeshipbye

Beca has a religious, homophobic father who has been abusive in the past, leading Beca to think she needs to have secret relationships. Only her last relationship ended horribly and she's left to get her frustrations out by womanizing. Until she meets Chloe. Who sees right through her persona.

Familiar Taste Of Poison

Author : danisweetman22

Beca Mitchell was never a normal girl. She had been through so much in her life, more than a soldier, her psychiatrists all used to say. It was only when she arrived at Barden University that things started to change, for the good, and the bad. Trigger Warning: Abuse, Rape, Self Harm, Drug Abuse and Alcoholism.

Favorite Record

Author : bechloehuh/eliseboobman

They have an old beat up Thunderbird convertible, twelve thousand dollars between them, and no destination in mind. This could very much be the worst decision both of them have ever made.

Fire and Fury

Author : OnceYouGoBecYouCantGoBack

She wants to be more than just her client. G!P Beca.

Forgive Me These November Days

Author : obstinate_questionings

Why Chloe Beale didn’t graduate—and why she finally did—as told through yearly celebrations of Thanksgiving.

For Lovers Only

Author : dr_jb5

Takes place two years after the events of Pitch Perfect 3. Beca and Chloe haven’t seen one another since then, each going their separate ways – Beca to music, Chloe to vet school. But, one fateful week, they both end up in Paris ... And when their paths suddenly collide, desire and passion take over as they gain back those missed years and rediscover one another all over again.

Friends don’t

Author : tmylm

“Bec?” Chloe’s voice interrupts her inner monolog, and she finds herself nodding despite the fact that the other girl can’t see her.

“I’m here, Chlo. What is it?”

“Can you stay with me?”

There’s a brief pause as Beca digests the question, mulling it over for a second or two. It seems Chloe can sense her confusion.

“Like, here. On the phone. Just until I fall asleep.”

From more to friends, from friends to more (Those bright blue eyes)

Author : brighteyes29

A Bechloe High school AU. It's a month before the graduation where Beca and Chloe broke-up, although the DJ still tries to get her ex back with some help from her best friend Jesse. But after all, the two girls still love each other. They just have to admit it one more time.

Have A Nice Life

Author : farfrom7

Beca is a little bit broken. Chloe is kind of engaged. Neither of them could be prepared for what happens when their worlds collide.

Hear me chirp

Author : Plush Panda

Chloe wants to know what Beca's favorite animal is, but Beca will have none of that. Supernatural!AU.

Hoofbeat

Author : shadowswillscream

Beca gets sent away to a horse ranch, Hoofbeat, as a last chance due to her recent rebellious behavior. There she meets Chloe Beale, who changes Beca's rule of 'everyone's temporary'.

Hurt

Author : Knope.We.Can

On a night out with Aubrey, Chloe is shocked to discover that the musician they're watching perform is her best friend from high school, Beca Mitchell. While Chloe is desperate to reunite with the one that got away, Beca has her own demons to battle. Trigger warning.

I don't belong to you, and you don't belong to me (I won't let you down, I will not give you up)

Author : IWasMeantToFeel

after their final performance together on the USO tour, Beca sees Chloe kissing Chicago. and she can’t help but hurt.

I Guess I Do

Author : x-backtoblack-x

Chloe's cousin's getting married and she'll be damned if she has to endure another family gathering/speed dating weekend. Cue Beca to begrudgingly save the day.

I Hate How Much I Love You

Author : woahoooyeah

Beca and Chloe have hated each other from the start. The Bella's go to Bora Bora for the summer, to have an adventure at the well-known Resort, Eden. But what happens when Beca and Chloe are forced into situations, that cause them to interact with one another? Will their feels changes towards each other?

I Love You, Awesome Nerd

Author : Olivia Janae

Beca had done her freaking yearly good deed. She had gone to the Bellas reunion...thing...whatever. She had gone and she had accepted the award, she had seen the Bellas; she had even let them stay at her damn condo! So why the hell was that stupid-gorgeous redhead, the one she had run from all of those years ago, back and camped out in her freaking living room refusing to leave?

I'm Only Human

Author : longlivebechloe

AU on what happens after Chicago and Chloe kiss.

I Promise

Author : fugitiveboov43

"I did not forget my promise, I was trying to forget it. There's a difference." Chloe breaks Beca's heart. Thanks to fate and with their small circle of friends, they meet again.

Irresistible

Author : justfunriley

Beca is a werewolf, who was changed by an unknown Alpha. As she struggles with her transformation, Jesse and she start to fight. This leads to them breaking up. Who will be there to pick up the pieces? Her best friend, a beautiful redhead, will be there to pick up the pieces. Werewolf/AU Bechloe fanfiction.

It's A Pirate Life For Me

Author : robind19

the most feared captain and the crown princess. au! Pirate

It's All About Finding Yourself

Author : FluentInMovieQuotes

Beca struggles with school as it is so being forced into the High School's show choir by her Spanish teacher, claiming that it would earn her enough extra credit to pass his class was the last thing on her mind. After they perform at homecoming assembly, a certain redhead joins and her and Beca easily become friends until Beca begins to question her sexuality.

It's Always Been You

Author : AcaTitanium94

Sequel to It’s You

It's You?

Author : AcaTitanium94

Beca & Chloe met when they were both 10'year olds. Beca promised Chloe that one day they would get married. Years later fate brings them back together in the least expected way.

I've Been Bitten

Author : hitandrunn

Spidey!Beca. You expect your senior year in high school to be pretty stressful. Having to worry about college applications, prom and graduation. Beca on the other hand, has to worry about protecting the city when she's bitten by a radioactive spider.

Jesse's Girl

Author : lifeisbechloe

Set after PP2 graduation: The Bellas go out and sing karaoke to celebrate, causing a certain redhead to not-so-subtly hint that she's into a small brunette. Will Beca be able to sort out her feelings for Chloe?

Just A Glance

Author : Bel-Halliwell

It all began with a glance. They didn't know how things would turn up, but there was no stopping it.

Just Like Glass

Author : recallthelove

You see through me, like I'm not there.

La Douleur Exquise

Author : redchocopanda

Stacie believes in the concept of soulmates, of destiny and of true love. Now if only she could get her childhood best friend, Beca, who believes that none of those things are real or last long enough to convince her, to do so too & maybe make her realize that the famous Chloe Beale is the one. Unknowingly, Stacie just might become the reason their two worlds might finally collide.

League of Angels

Author : danisweetman22

Beca Mitchell is the most feared assassin Azrael, the angel of death. She arrives at Barden University under her master, Michael's order. Her new target, Mr James Beale, an important figure in the Government. Beca must collect intel through his daughter, Chloe. However, something about Chloe, unlocks feelings in Beca that she locked away eleven years before.

Leave It All On The Field

Author : second job

Chloe is a senior captain on the soccer team. Beca is the hot new freshman. Follow their relationship on and off the field.

Long Way Round

Author : Smeg699

Nationals is over, a new school year has begun, and Beca is wondering if she didn't make a mistake at Nationals. Rating: Mostly T, a few chapters are M though, and that will be noted in the Author's Note at the beginning.

Lost Stars

Author : BKTheGoldenKnight

Beca, an ex-MotoGP racer, has a tragic past and she had managed to get back on her feet when she met Chloe. However something unexpected happened. Will Beca stay or runaway?

Love Like The Wind Wild, Untamed

Author : jamiexh

Beca's and Chloe's lives are turned upside down when Chloe accidently turns Beca into a werewolf.

Maybe In Another Life

Author : not_so_average_fangirl

Moving into a new house turns out to be a better experience for Chloe Beale than she thought it would. Perhaps it’s because of the friendly, little brunette she finds hiding in the basement one night. An unforeseen friendship sparks between them, but as more complicated emotions begin to arise, a shocking truth is revealed, and Chloe’s world gets turned upside down.

More than Miles (Her name is Beca Mitchell)

Author : SkySsi

A sequel to "Between the Lines"

The story jumps five years after, some tables might have turned. (I still suck at summaries, apparently). So, what happened after five years? What happened after Beca Mitchell had moved to LA? Is Chloe Beale able to get her Beca back? Or is she getting the 'old' Beca this time?

More Than Words

Author : tmylm

“Beca?”

Beca’s brows tug together again. “Uh, yeah? Who’s this?”

The voice on the other end of the phone is both light and cool, it’s almost familiar to her, in fact. She hears a small laugh, and the urge to turn back toward the building strikes her. She looks up to see the figure in the fifth floor window, smile evident on her lips. Her phone is held to her ear too, and she sends a wave down to the shorter girl.

“Just checking you didn’t fake number me,” she says, and Beca swears she sees her shrug her shoulder.

There’s a smile on Beca’s lips in spite of the questioning in her eyes.

“I have no dinner plans yet,” Chloe continues, “Are you free tonight?”

My Little Badass

Author : LexysK23

"I was trying to find something to levitate to show Beca, but I may have done the wrong spell. Bree, I changed my girlfriend into a three year old." Chloe now must take care of her three year old girlfriend until she is able to change her back. How much trouble can the small girl get into? And, oh yeah, it's a three year old half-vampire.

Never Let Me Go

Author : AnnaKendrick11

Beca goes to Barden University and Chloe is a new student. They become friends and get closer, then they both realise that they have feelings for each other but will certain problems overtake their love?

Never Too Late

Author : carma19

Beca’s a 30 something rockstar/producer-turned-filthy rich music mogul. She has everything she’s ever wanted, except for the one that got away.

Nowish

Author : Psy456

Bechloe. Staubrey. Bellas Squared/Stechlobree.

A story in which I created a life I fell in love with and convinced myself by accident that this could work.

Let me try and convince you too.

Now We've Got Bad Blood

Author : tay0720

Fresh off the plane from Seattle, Beca Mitchell heads to Barden University for her first year of college only to find herself falling hard for a junior named Chloe while being roped into a supernatural shitstorm.

Old Love Dies Hard

Author : iwasyounme

It's 6 years after Beca took off from Barden without telling anybody and decided to go to L.A. Chloe is a barmaid in a small bar in the City of Angels too. One night, Beca walks in her bar, but a lot has happened in 6 years and they don't recognize each other. Six years ago, Beca fell in love with Chloe, will it happen again?

One More Year

Author : Knope.We.Can

It's the final year of high school, and Chloe has big plans to go off to college and begin the next stage of her life. Beca just can't wait for the year to be over so she can head to LA. Having spent their time at high school as strangers, Chloe finds herself wondering about the quiet mysterious girl in her English class.

Passing Ships

Author : scrappymitchell

Beca and Chloe have been hiding their feelings from each other for years for their own reasons, but when Beca see's Chloe finally starting to move on in front of her very eyes she realises how she has messed up on the most important thing in her life and now has to deal with going back to New York and living with Chloe, who now has a boyfriend. The question she now asked herself was if this will make her shut her feelings off for good or will it push her over the edge to blurt her feelings out?

Perdition

Author : morningsound15

Perdition, noun: (in Christian theology) a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unpenitent person passes after death. They’ve been doing this for years. It’s almost crazy, how familiar it all is. And every time, their excuses get flimsier and flimsier. Beca still has a boyfriend, Chloe still has to graduate, and yet time and time again they find themselves tangled up together, naked in bed or stuffed into a bathroom stall or sneaking out of a party. And Beca still has a boyfriend, and Chloe knows it’s wrong, but she just can’t seem to stop.

Perfect : A Bechloe Love Story

Author : BechloeGoals4Life

What if Bechloe actually was endgame? This story is what I believe Pitch Perfect would look like if Bechloe was the focus.

Perfect Harmony

Author : BeChloe01

Beca and her father made a deal that if she really gave Barden a shot, he'd fund her move to LA at the end of the school year. She only has a few months left to convince him that she did try. Which means Chloe only has a few months to convince Beca to stay. Slight AU retelling of the movie so that BeChloe are canon.

Pitch Perfect 3 : Bechloe is Legit

Authors : BeChloeisLegit and  RJRMovieFan

Pitch Perfect 3 - the movie everyone saw, rewritten to be the movie everyone wishes they made.

Pitch Perfect: Reloaded

Author : Britishgal

Beca finds herself at the mercy of a mysterious gun-for-hire, otherwise known as Chloe Beale, who claims that she needs her dad for his important research. Problem is, she has no idea where her dad could have gone... But at least now Beca has an idea of why he decided to skip dinner with her tonight.

Pitch Perfect 3 - The Aca-Reunion

Author : becca343

After years apart, the Bellas are all coming back to Barden for their 5 year reunion.

PP3 - What really happened

Author : when_you_know_you_know

Not enough Bechloe content in PP3 for your liking? Well here is what REALLY happened on/off screen

Proving Them Right

Author : cheeky_geek_monkey

The Bellas always did joke about Beca and Chloe dating...so is it a moral issue if they pretend to prove them right to make some money at a certain someone's wedding?

Puck me

Author : bardenacapella

College Hockey AU. Beca Mitchell plays on the hockey team for the Barden Bulls. What happen's when Chloe Beale goes to one of her games and their eyes meet?

Roommates

Author : twin192

Beca, 19, a freshman is new at Barden University and meets her new roommate Chloe, 21, also a freshman. They click instantly and become fast friends. But what is Chloe hiding? Why is she crying so often when she thinks nobody's noticing? What did she do for two years before going to college? AU

Shattered

Author : Lackluster Brilliance

Chloe did what she swore she'd never do. She broke Beca's heart, and though it hurts, Beca can never stop loving Chloe. Bechloe angst. Trigger warnings: Rape, self harm, suicide, and alcohol abuse.

she is the flint that sparks the lighter

Author : iPhone

Beca was looking for Chloe after her performance. She'll always be looking for Chloe in some way or another.

aka

Beca moves to LA to work on her new album, Chloe moves to Davis to attend vet school, and they try not to miss each other too much.

Silence Has A Sound

Author : summerreader13

Something has happened to Beca. No one's seen or heard from her in days. Chloe decides to go to her room and find out what's going on. Can she help Beca, or will Beca push her away like she does everyone else?

Skinny Love

Author : writersjoint

One mistake can change your life entirely; and sometimes it can make it all worth it.

Someone Like Me

Author : drop-your-worries

A dangerously fluffy Bechloe fanfic. Prequel to By Your Side.

Something Worth Living For

Author : AnnaKendrick47

Beca Mitchell doesn't have many friends, people in school hate her, teachers despise her attitude, which always seem to get her in trouble. That is until she finds herself wanting to get into one specific teacher's good side.

Sometime You Need Help

Author : Ibbly5

Beca is super guarded, all the time. And Chloe is so drawn to her. But Beca can't possibly let her in, can she? She can't trust anyone ever. Even someone as kind and beautiful as Chloe.

Sparks

Author : Suituuup

Chloe didn't think getting into a car accident would lead to a date. Firefighter!Beca

Stare Into The Sky Until We're Blind

Author : lescousinsdangereux

Chloe Beale has one rule. Just one. Had she known that the odd combination of hair dye, a crappy old convertible, sixty-plus hours of driving, a mix CD, and one Beca Mitchell would lead to her breaking it, she never would have suggested going on this stupid road trip in the first place.

Stay

Author : NotaSoundMind

Beca has had a tragic two years and has given up on surfing because of it, but while taking care of her sick aunt at the woman's beach house, she meets Chloe, an outgoing surfer.

Stolen

Author : thesecretsociety

Beca Mitchell works for her father who leads a criminal group whose latest mission is to retrieve a stolen treasure from a wealthy business tycoon named Clarence Beale.

Strangers

Author : landsliide

A brief encounter with an enchanting stranger changes Beca's life for the better.

Struck by a Feeling

Author : LadyHH

Beca and Chloe lead two different lives at school. Neither noticing the other, that all changes from one moment that will lead them to something they never expected.

Stupid Choices And Second Chances

Author : Biggiewoods

Beca has been helplessly in love with Chloe forever but never had the guts to tell her. After Chloe gets married Beca can't seem to bare it and cuts all ties with the love of her life. What happens after 5 years later when they meet up again. Will Beca finally tell her how she feels? Will it even matter if she does?

Subterfuge

Author : awriterofthings

Chloe develops feelings for Beca, the daughter of a crime boss, while undercover.

Squeeze Once For Yes

Author : Knope.We.Can

Beca finds herself being pulled into a fast friendship with a gorgeous redhead and, for the first time in years, she wishes she hadn't built her protective walls so high.

Tackled

Author : OnceYouGoBecYouCantGoBack

Nine years of ignoring the big elephant in the room. Nine years of bickering like an old married couple. That's all shaken up with an unusual proposal. G!P Beca

Teenage Dream

Author : hedaenerys

Set after the Bellas win the ICCAs. Beca starts getting some confusing feelings for Chloe, and after Aubrey's birthday party- things get a little out of hand…

tell me is it so wrong (even if we fall in love?)

Author : dj jiggle juice

But Chloe’s giving her that giddy grin, the one that tells Beca she’s going to break her facade and burst into laughter at any moment.

Beca thinks this won’t be so bad, fake dating Chloe. Not when everything with Chloe happens with ease.

Tell the World That We Finally Got It All Right

Author : JediFighterPilot2727

Based off of Lily's quote about a time machine in Pitch Perfect 2. A little mix up causes a whole lot of trouble for the Bellas! Especially for Beca and Chloe. Au after the first 2 movies.

Thank God For The Internet

Author : alyssa-gibson

Beca hated when songs got stuck in her head, but she was grateful that one did because if it hadn't, she wouldn't have met the love of her life.

That Thing You Do

Author : thatmitchsentho

What happens after Beca gets everything she thinks she wanted? Life isn't a movie, she soon learns, because you can't fake feeling something that isn't there, and you can't ignore something that is.

This Could be Just Like Heaven (Don't Throw It All Away)

Author : Freerangeegghead

In which Beca Mitchell gets the life she's always dreamed of and more, but realizes maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be.

The Basketcase and The Princess

Author : Fake Shemp

Angsty but Fluffy AU timeline of Pitch Perfect.

The Bridge

Authors : carma19 and Suituuup

In the bustling borough of Brooklyn, Beca’s a struggling musician working as a waitress to make ends meet. At an open mic night, she meets Chloe--a successful local photographer--and sparks fly. As they grow close, Beca learns she left a one night stand the night before she met Chloe with much more than she bargained for…

The Detention Club

Author : ThatWeirdAwkwardKid

High School AU. Basically what happens when you mix drama, mischief, the girls and a night owl of a writer. Just the group making trouble as well as friendships whilst having fun trying to avoid the principal.

The Friend

Author : Secret Heart33

Beca falls in love with her best friend, Chloe, for the first time when she is 12, but things do not go quite as planned. From there Beca learns her role as 'The Friend' and tries to put it all behind her when she moves away. What will happen when they meet again 6 years later at Barden University.

The Last Battle

Author : Jules In Neverland

Two years after leaving the US Air Force, Captain Rebeca Mitchell works for the FBI. With her ex-wife about to marry a man that it's not as perfect as he seems, and a seven year old to take care of, she fights to fulfill her three ultimate missions in life: Make justice after terrible events happened during war. Catch the last bad guy of her career. Gain the love of her life back.

The Lives We Live

Author : AcaTitanium94

Beca and Chloe both live separate lives. Chloe is married to Tom and living in Toronto Canada. What will happen when Tom gets a better job in the US and they move back there? Will her marriage change because of a certain brunette she met a year ago on an airplane?

The Playlist - Volume 1

Author : RedRobin90

Beca Mitchell doesn't want to go to Barden, but once she's met that certain redhead, who doesn't seem to have personal boundaries and always know's how to make her skin tingle, it doesn't seem all that bad.

The Reclusive Music Producer and The Journalist

Author : areaderofmanythings

Chloe is Rolling Stone Magazine's newest intern, she's left Atlanta to start life over in San Francisco. Beca's a cute regular who she befriends at the part time job she has until getting hired on at the magazine. What happens when Beca isn't straightforward about who she is and Chloe refuses to talk about her past? Will Chloe ever get the cover story she's dreamed about for years?

The Sun & The Stars

Author : BardenBellatrix

The Bellas get invited to a resort to celebrate Jessica and Ashley's engagement. Will the girls' relationships have changed since they left Barden?

The Track Star and The Cheerleader

Author : not-so-average-fangirl

High School Junior and Track Star, Beca Mitchell, gets thrown for a loop when her father gets a new job at Barden High School. She's forced to leave her current high school and join Barden just as her Junior year is starting. What could possibly go wrong? Or, after meeting a certain redhead, possibly go right?

The Truth About Reality

Author : sendricamp

Chloe discovers there is more to falling in love with Beca than she originally expected.

The Vigilante

Author : hitandrunn

Sequel to I’ve Been Bitten

The Voice

Author : A Charmed Vampire

Chloe Beale gets the chance to audition on the NBC hit show, The Voice. Desperate to kick start her music career, she wants to get her best chance of winning. Just one little thing standing in her way. Professional DJ, producer and recording artist, Beca Mitchell is one of the coaches. Will her crush on Beca get in the way of her musical dream?

They Shot Me Down But I Won't Fall

Author : beauboss

Beca was in the army and fought in a war till she got shot in her leg and her dad wanted her to come home. As she was still recovering her dad forced her to go to Barden to follow some classes. Beca hates being home but then she meets Chloe. A beautiful red head who she thinks is really pushy and annoying at first... But what happens if her feelings change?

To Leave It All Behind

Author : BIggiewoods

Beca had to leave her perfect life all because her mother had remarried. She had it all. She was on a State Champion Softball Team, had a weekly show on her high school's radio station, and most importantly a future internship at a record label. She thought her junior year would be a bust until a bubbly redhead she will meet would make it all worth it.

Tragedy Strikes When You Least Expect It

Author : Iwillforgetthisl8er

A year after Beca Mitchell stopped talking to the Bellas and Chloe, a tragic accident will pull her back. Rated T for now, may change later. Trigger warnings: Child Abuse and Rape

Two Brides and The Bellas

Author : Gapalkru

A few months after graduation, the Bellas are reunited at Cynthia Rose’s wedding. Someone is a bit too stubborn about a bet, alcohol flows freely, and Amy requires a tuxedo for her iPad. Don’t we all just want to live happily ever after at a wedding?

Under the Mistletoe

Author : not_so_average_fangirl

Takes place a few months before Pitch Perfect 2. Specifically around Christmas time. Beca and Chloe have gotten closer over the years and their friendship has never been better. But what happens when they're forced to kiss under the mistletoe and sparks fly? Will things end well?

Vegan Beca

Author : when_you_know_you_know

That time in Pitch Perfect 3 when Beca became vegan for Chloe…

Vindicated

Author : thesecretsociety

Sequel to Stolen

Waiting At The End Of The Road

Author : HypersomniacGrad

Sequel to What If

We Could Be More

Author : Knope.We.Can

They've been best friends since college. Just Best Friends. No complications, No jealousy over boyfriends, just plain, simple friends. Until, of course, the awkward almost kiss.

What If

Author : HypersomniacGrad

PP2 (sometime before the retreat) but deviates from the story: After living through the worst day of her life, Beca meets an accident and comes face to face with Death. As she ponders on whether or not she still wants to wake up from her coma, she asks herself, what if she never joined the Bellas? If she never existed? If she died? Death takes her on a journey to find out.

What You Do To Me

Author : Olivia_Janae

The thing was...she HAD said ‘I love you’ - and Chloe hadn’t said it back...so now what the hell were they supposed to do? Things were starting to snowball downhill and...Beca just...she didn’t know. How could they stop it? How could they fix it - before it was too late? ...Before they lost so much more than their romance.

Sequel to 'I Love You, Awesome Nerd'

Where Are You?

Author : Knope.We.Can

Beca Mitchell has been missing from Barden for a month. Chloe has spent every single hour she's been gone missing her.

Whispers In The Dark

Author : KissKendrick

Who knew something as simple as a bag being thrown over her head could open so many doors? Doors that Beca wanted to keep shut. Chloe had no idea what she was getting herself into. What she did know? She wasn't backing down. She wasn't leaving Beca, and she wouldn't let the horror of her past hurt her anymore. The problem? Beca may be too far gone to be helped. TRIGGERS INSIDE.

Whoever Fights Monsters

Author : revengeparty

AU. With a serial killer on the loose, the Barden Police Department calls in Special Agent Chloe Beale to assist in the investigation. Detective Beca Mitchell isn't used to sharing her turf with the feds, but they must quickly learn to work together to stop the man only known as the Barden Strangler.

Why You?

Author : selimausx3

Beca was a loner. Ever since Jesse died, she didn’t need anybody. That was until she saved the life of a particular redhead. Chloe stuck around ever since and the brunette didn’t see herself complaining much. Zombie Apocalypse!AU.

Wrong Turn

Author : RunFarAwayWithMe

Beca's dad is eager to find someone who will be a 'good influence' on his alternative daughter, and introduces her to the over-achieving Luke Brandon. As Beca becomes reluctantly intrigued by this seemingly perfect guy, she is introduced to his family and becomes close with his sister, Chloe. She soon realises that Luke is just a wrong turn on her way to true love.

You Never Know How Strong You Are

Author : CrohnieReader

until being strong is the only choice you have. Moving into the Bellas' House in her second year of college should be exciting and fun for Beca, right? But when the thing she's been hiding from everyone since the beginning of freshman year makes a reappearance, bringing with it a great deal of suffering, it makes life a little more complicated.

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

Author : WarriorOfTheLight

There is a life-threatening accident after Regionals and it might be too late to undo mistakes…

You're Weird

Author : Saweeet47

Chloe's father doesn't handle her sexuality very well, to the point where he doesn't believe it. Chloe's family assumes she has a girlfriend. She feels the need to hit two birds with one stone, coincidentally Beca is there to save the day.

Your Love Is A Song

Author : HypersomniacGrad

All Beca wanted was to move to LA and make music, that's why she made the deal with her dad in the first place. Make it one year through college then she could move to LA. Thankfully she has her step-brother and a surprisingly amazing roommate to help her bear through it all before she moves on. And then she meets Chloe, and Beca's not quite sure about anything anymore

Your Love Is Killing Me

Author : abnormalhuman

Beca and Chloe become fast friends like predicted, and right from the start there is something more. But how can Beca fall for a girl after being raised by homophobic parents? Beca can't handle or come to terms with herself. Will Chloe be able to help her through it? Trigger Warnings: slight mention of self harm and homophobic assholes doing their asshole thing.

[torisfeather]

Flufftober 4 - Fake Dating

Prompt by @vex-bittys

Read it on fanfiction.net or AO3

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Wooh, this one was not easy, but I managed to finish in time! It's the first time I'm writing fake dating, so I don't know if I did okay ^^'

Anyway, this one is Roman, Remus, Patton and Logan. So... Intruloroyality? I don't know at this point XD

-----------------------------------------

Okay, you've got this, Roman thought, that night, at the dinner table, and showed his best smile for his grandma.

He felt so awful, and it felt like everyone at the table could tell how uncomfortable he was. He couldn't even look at his brother or their friends, Patton and Logan, for too long.

Which was bad, because he was supposed to be Patton's boyfriend.

It had started maybe a month ago. When their obnoxious homophobic aunt Beth had tried to introduce them to yet another girl she knew – a coworker's daughter, or cousin, or sister, it didn't matter.

At that point, Roman almost believed she had selective deafness. He and Remus had told her, over and over again, that they were gay, didn't want to meet girls, especially not when she was planning dates for them. Aunt Beth was still 100% convinced this was just a phase and that they could be "fixed".

So when she brought another miss-what's-her-name to their place without their consent, Remus had cracked and yelled: "You can't stay because we're having a gay orgy with our boyfriends tonight!"

Roman had honestly thought that would be enough. Surely their aunt wasn't around his brother enough to be used to the gross nonsense he blabbered all the time.

But it hadn't deterred her. The orgy part, at least, she realized was just a joke. "You don't have boyfriends," she had said, her chin raised in contempt. "I would have known already! You're single and you can give a chance to Natalia here."

"No offense, miss," Roman had said at the lady, who just nodded, looked quite bored. "We are not single. We're dating… uh…"

"Logan and Patton!" Remus panicked.

"Uh, yeah! You know, our classmates?"

"I thought you said they were dating each other?" Aunt Beth said, suspicious.

"No, we said they were dating us! Have you had your hearing checked, Auntie?" Remus asked, and cackled when Aunt Beth gasped in outrage. "What if a bee got inside your ear and started making a nest inside your skull, and that's why you never hear us?"

"Well, I hope you're happy for wasting such a nice girl's time!" she had cried, and promptly vacated the place, followed by the girl.

The twins had high-fived each other and then the rest of the night was spent arguing over what movie they were going to watch to celebrate.

But it couldn't be that simple, right?

Because the twin's mother was very close to Aunt Beth, and so had questioned her sons when she heard about their "boyfriends". Roman and Remus's mom was way more tolerant than her relative, but she was also a gossiper and she couldn't know it was a lie, or she's rat them out immediately. So the twins told her the exact same lie.

Their mother of course told all of her side of the family, as well as their father, who told his side of the family, and now all of their relatives thought they were dating their childhood friends.

So that wasn't ideal, and Roman thought of coming clean, or at least "breaking up", but Remus won him over arguing as long as they believed that, their aunt and any other relatives would stop trying to set them up with people. Which, honestly? Worth it.

And then winter break happened.

Every winter break, the twins and their parents would fly a couple states north, where their grandparents lived, and spend the holidays there with the rest of their family. And it was always expected from the younger people to bring any significant other at least once during that time.

They could have said Logan and Patton were too busy or had other plans, but the twins' grandparents were so adamant they contacted Logan and Patton's own parents to ask for them to join the family reunion, and not knowing anything about the situation, they all agreed on one week.

When they told Logan and Patton what the whole deal was, they were surprisingly calm about it. Logan, especially, thought this was one solution. Patton, of course, bless his little heart, wanted to come clean and apologize, but after Remus begged him not to unleash their aunt on them again, he took pity and agreed.

So Patton would pretend to be Remus's boyfriend, and Logan would act as Roman's. What could go wrong?

Several things, actually. Starting with everyone's ability to act. Roman, of course, was fine on that part. He was a theater kid and he knew what romance looked like. Patton was also pretty good at being all lovey-dovey, except he tended to look nervously at Logan whenever Remus tried something, because he was scared of Logan being jealous.

And Remus tried a LOT. He was a pervert pretending to romance a grey-asexual. And it showed.

As for Logan, well, he wasn't uncomfortable with Roman's flirting, but…

"Roman, your existence is greatly appreciated."

… He was the WORST actor Roman had ever met.

Okay, fine! It was fine! Their relatives were all kind of dumb anyway. The twins' parents didn't notice anything during the trip, and so far it seemed the charade was working.

Except, as days went by, another problem arose.

Roman had probably flirted a little too much. Or maybe it was all the time spent together. Or maybe it was from sleeping in the same bed.

In any case, he had started crushing on Logan.

Okay, not just on Logan. Patton too.

Which was a big no-no. No, you don't get a crush on childhood friends who are already dating each other. Especially in a situation where they are away from home, and thus already vulnerable and/or uncomfortable.

But he couldn't help it. To be fair, he had always been very close with the two. Just not that close. Not enough to notice how cute Patton's sleepy bed-head was, or how gentle Logan was when he was hesitant or stressed, or how warm Patton was when he was hugging him in the morning, or how hot Logan was with his glasses off.

Now he couldn't look at them without thinking "what if", and feeling itty-bitty butterflies in his tummy.

And he was certain everyone in the house could tell. And that was not how he was supposed to act right now.

So he kept his head low, trying not to draw attention to himself, which was very unlike him. And that night, at the dinner table, the boys had had enough.

"I apologize for interrupting, but I believe I have misplaced my phone and I am waiting for a very important call. May I leave the table?"

"Oh, of course Logan," their grandmother had said.

Logan stood and looked at Roman. "Would you mind helping me, Roman?"

"Uh…"

"Come on, you two hurry up, okay?" his cousin said.

Logan grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the corridor and up the stairs. Once they were out of hearing distance, he stopped and turned to Roman. "Now, please tell me what is bothering you."

"What? Nothing! I'm great, let's go look for your stupid phone…"

"Roman, in the past two days you have displayed an increase in signs of stress, you are not doing 'great'. And also, the phone thing was a falsehood."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Logan, just because you took a psychology class doesn't allow you to analyze me, and for the last time, I am okay. Now let's go back."

"I don't think that's right…" Patton's voice said from behind him.

Roman turned around and grimaced as Patton and Remus joined them. "Guys, seriously, you're making a big deal out of nothing!"

"Hey, I didn't say anything!" Remus argued. "You do look like you stuck a lightbulb up your ass and you're scared of it breaking at any point and turning your insides into a bloody purée, though."

"Great, super helpful bro…" Roman sighed. They were all looking at him, and they couldn't spend too much time or someone would come find them, and he couldn't tell them or he'd just make everyone feel bad, and it was all too much. He angrily ran his hands in his hair, pulling a couple time, closing his eyes. What the fuck was he supposed to do?!

"Okay, okay, let's calm down first…" Patton said, and now his hands were on his arms, and he was being so gentle. Roman let the others guide him into the closest room and sit him on the bed. "Now, it's okay Roman, you can tell us…"

"No…" he said stubbornly.

"Roman, we will love you no matter what the problem is, you can trust us!" Patton insisted.

"I promise, it's if funny, I will only tease you about it for two weeks!... Maybe a month."

"Remus, please! Roman, I promise it's safe to tell us."

"And, if I may add," Logan said, "we will help with the best of our abilities if at all possible."

Roman grabbed the pillow next to him and screamed as hard as he could into it. Eventually, it made him feel calm enough to look up at all the worried faces around him. He muttered something into his pillow.

"Ah, sorry, can you repeat that?" Patton asked.

"… I'm crushing on you and Logan. There, I said it, happy?"

Logan and Patton were agape for a moment, but Remus just shrugged. "Pff, me too, you're not special."

"What?"

"Bro, have you seen Logan's bare chest? He looks like a nerdy Edward Cullen. And Patton is the best cuddler in the world."

"How the fuck can you be so calm about this?!"

"It's just feelings, nobody's dead yet!"

"Yet?!"

"Okay, time out!" Logan asked, clapping his hands like a preschool teacher. "I think we need to assess the situation step by step…"

And then he stopped, because Patton was kissing Roman with all of his uncontrolled impulse. Remus cheered and kissed Logan, and for about two minutes there were nothing but kissing noises and sighs in the small room.

"So, um, does that mean you guys also…" Roman started, when his mouth was free again.

"For literal months," Logan admitted.

"That's so much time we have to make up for!" Remus cried.

"Agreed," Patton said, blushing. "We, um… We should go back, everyone's still waiting."

Roman's eyes widened and he fell back on the bed dramatically, hiding his face in his hands. "How the fuck are we going to tell them?!"

[solange-lol]

not so typical love song - ch. 1/13

Chapter Title: Rollarcoaster

Words: 3,050

Note: my piece for the @pjo-hoo-bigbang !!! special thanks to @shelbychild and @wisdom-walks-alone for editing and helping me develop this story! it wouldnt exist w/o y’all!

Art by @lizzybizzyo! <3

[ one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight (coming soon)]

read on ao3

—

Nico is staring at his computer, wordless. This isn't writer's block or surprise; it’s just the unknown reality of what this situation could lead to.

Another gay kid in his school. Another gay kid that isn’t Mitchell—who’s been out since 8th grade, and the only one to be out since then. Another kid at their school who’s hiding a secret. 

Nico doesn’t even know if this kid is a boy or a girl or what, and frankly, he doesn’t care. There’s another kid like him. And he has no idea how to respond to the post.

The post is a submission from their school’s gossip blog on Tumblr, the notorious ‘hb-secrets.’ Piper had called him an hour ago, asking if he’d seen it yet.

“Seen what?” he had responded.

“The post on hb-secrets? About the closeted gay kid?” It hit Nico like a wall of bricks as he quickly went to pull up the website. Did somebody know? It was a relief when he saw the clipart Ferris wheel and a few short lines submitted by a blog called blue0919.

“I bet it’s that Brazilian sophomore. Paolo or whatever? Or maybe it’s Connor Stoll! I swear he’s been flirting with Mitchell, but Annabeth keeps telling me that he’s into Lacy or someone,” Piper continued as he read, but it was going in one ear and out the other as he processed the words on the screen

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck on a Ferris wheel. One minute I’m on top of the world, and the next minute I’m at rock bottom. Over and over all day long, because a lot of my life is great. But nobody knows I’m gay.

“Gotta go. I’ll talk later,” Nico said quickly, switching off his phone. He knew it would raise suspicion, but it felt like time was turning in on itself. Nobody knew about Nico. In fact, nobody ever even suspected. He’s never been called names besides “Death Boy.” And yet, there were the exact words that described his life, written out in front of him like they were a second thought.

And now, he was staring at his computer with an empty Gmail draft open. The original poster had left their email at the end of the post, so Nico after glancing quickly at his Panic! at the Disco poster still proudly hanging on his wall, typed out a new address. He was stuck, though, unsure of what to say from here. 

So, he started from the beginning.

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 6:48 PM

Subject: Hey

Somehow you’ve managed to type exactly what I feel. Sorta scary, as if you’re inside my head or something. Maybe it’s just a gay thing to be speaking in metaphors about the pressure of everyday society.

That’s what I am. Gay. I don’t know if I’ve ever really said it out loud to myself.

It’s weird because I never really had a perfectly normal life. My mom died when I was young, so I never really got to meet her. My sister and I have always been super close until she went away to college. Now, not as much. I guess that’s just what happens when you live a million miles away. 

And I’ve known my stepmom longer than I knew my real mom, but it was only a few years ago when I met my half-sister when she came to live with us because her mom died as well. Meaning, she isn’t the daughter of my stepmom. It’s a long story, and not really one I want to get into.

She’s super nice though. It’s funny, but despite being polar opposites with my older sister, they’re both mushy inside. Same with my stepmom. And my dad… he tries his best. We’re like exactly what you expect from a slightly broken family. Plus my dog who my cousin gave to me during a rough time. Honestly, she’s probably my favorite sibling out of them all. (Both my sisters would kill me if they knew I wrote that.)

And then there are my friends. I have some that are closer than others; Two of them I’ve known for a while now, and one who I only met recently but treats me better than some of the people I’ve known my whole life. While I admit, I’m not the most social person in the world, they’re pretty amazing as far as friends go. 

So there it is. My perfectly normal life. Except for that huge ass secret.

He typed and retyped each line what felt like a thousand times, deleting word after word. He didn't know what was too much. It all felt like too much, really. He didn’t even know if he could trust this person.

Signing it was the worst part; he didn’t have any good pseudonyms. Eventually, he decided to leave it blank.

Without a second thought, Nico hit ‘send’ before leaning back in his chair and putting his hands over his head. Only a second later, a light knock came from the door, causing him to quickly sit up as Hazel popped her head in.

“Dinner’s ready if you wanna eat,” she smiled. She left just as quickly as she came, curls bouncing as she walked away. They had gotten over the awkwardness of having a new sibling only months after Hazel moved in, but there was still some strangeness. To this day, Nico was still a lot closer to her than Bianca was. Either way, Nico knew he would do anything for her. (Not that he would admit that. He didn't even need to, Hazel already knew.)

Nico glanced back at his computer, but there was nothing in his inbox besides the Gmail “Welcome” email. It was stupid to think this person would respond that quickly, seeing as Nico didn't even know if they would respond at all. Heaving a sigh, he got up to join his family for dinner. Maybe he could even convince them to watch Steven Universe instead of The Bachelor.

---

Dinner went as expected. It’d been a while, actually, since they were all together for a meal. Hazel talked about her psycho geometry teacher and a boy she talked in the class named Frank, who seemed sweet but apparently had a shared hatred for math just like her. Nico didn’t say much, although chimed in at the latter, saying he better be the flower boy at their wedding. That even got a short scoff out of his father, which tended to be the closest Nico ever got him laughing. So, that was a win. 

However, he was a little more distant than usual. The pending email response was in the back of his mind during the entire meal.

Even afterward, as they watched reruns of Glee (a compromise made between Hazel and Nico, much to their father’s dismay), Nico couldn’t focus. It felt like a weight was burning through his back pocket. After the second episode (and laughing his ass off at his father’s reaction to Kurt’s ‘Single Ladies’ dance) he finally excused himself. 

He tapped the Gmail app on his phone as soon as he had reached his room. It felt like his heart skipped a beat when he noticed the new notification, a response from the original poster. With slightly shaky hands, he tapped the response, and a message opened up.

From: blue0919@gmail.com

To: bettertoburn@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 8:12 PM

Subject: I’ve never done this before

Dear anonymous person on the internet,

I really don’t know where to begin. I’m also not sure if you're a real person. For all I know you could be some random pedophile like one of those cases they warned us about in health class for the past 5 years, even though it’s never happened within the last decade.

But in case you are real, hello! I’m the original poster from that hb-secrets thread about life being a Ferris wheel. I’m rereading what I wrote there and I can’t stop cringing, so I’ll start by apologizing for that. I’m not usually one for metaphors, even the bad ones.

Anyway, it sounds like you identify with what I wrote. I’m glad you emailed me; I didn’t think anyone would actually do anything with the email that I left. Except maybe be extremely homophobic. But it made me feel less like I was shouting into the void, so thanks for that. And I assume you’re okay with me writing back since you sent me the first email. Though, I can’t believe I’m actually writing to you. I really didn’t think I would.

I guess I’m thinking it could be nice to talk with someone who can relate to how I’m feeling. No pressure, of course, but feel free to write back if you want to. I don’t want to use my real name, but you can call me Blue. 

It was surreal. Someone who was like Nico. Someone who wanted to talk to Nico because they were like him. 

He started to type again, with more excitement than he’s ever felt. He’s never been able to express this part of him before. It was almost like first date jitters-type feeling. 

(Not that he really knew what that was like.)

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 8:23 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

Hi, Blue

Wow, I’m actually kind of flipping out right now, because I seriously didn’t think I’d hear from you, especially so quickly. Wow. Okay. First of all, thanks for your email and also for your Tumblr post. I really liked it, Blue, and it wasn’t cringy at all, I promise.

So do you go here (here meaning HBHS)? I do, I’m a junior. And I’m a guy (are you a guy?) Anyway, I could relate a lot to your post, Like, pretty much all of it, but especially the part about being gay. You probably figured that out already though. And I’m not out yet either, which you probably figured that part out too. 

I guess a part of me wants to be out, but a part of me’s like… no. It’s hard to explain. I don’t know. Maybe you get it.

So yeah, it’s really nice to meet you! This is kind of cool, right? Even writing this email makes me feel eleven times less alone.

-Angel (not my real name either, two can play at this game. It’s not like a pet-name type thing. If you ever find out who I am, you’ll understand why.) 

He was worried about the whole name-signing thing. ‘Angel’ was just the easiest thing; it was a direct translation of his last name. He was really hoping Blue still didn’t take it in a weird way, even with that last note.

Relief flooded through him when he read the first sentence of Blue’s next email. 

From: blue0919@gmail.com

To: bettertoburn@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 8:41 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

Angel, huh? Maybe like guardian angel perhaps. 

Also, eleven times less alone? That’s oddly specific. :) But I know exactly what you mean.

Anyway, wow. Hi. You wrote back, and quickly too. I’m really glad you liked my post. Now I’m actually happy I put it out there. I have to admit, it’s strange to be writing a somewhat personal email to you when we don’t know each other’s identities. Though, in a way, I guess that makes it easier. Sorta like a therapist, except we’re both blindfolded and have the same problem. So not really a therapist, I guess.

Do you think therapists have therapists? Like, if the problems get to be too much for them? Is there an Almighty Therapist who just absorbs everyone's issues and feels nothing?

Anyway, I am a guy, and I’m also a junior at HB. I think you’re actually the first other gay guy I’ve met here. It’s pretty surreal to be talking to you. (In a good way though.) I wonder if we know each other in real life. 

And I think I understand what you mean. I feel like I’m constantly going back and forth about wanting to come out. I have these moments where I’m almost bursting to tell people. Of course, that’s where I was when I posted the thing on Tumblr. But I always feel so weird about it a few hours later, and sometimes I’m intensely relieved no one knows yet. What about you?

-Blue

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 9:12 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

I mean, let’s be real, eleven is the best number, which is perfect because we’re both in eleventh grade. And I can't believe we’re both juniors. The class is pretty small compared to the others, so I bet we do know each other, which is weird to think about. What if we’re actually enemies in real life? Do you have enemies? I don’t think I do, not really. Various people tend to annoy me a lot. It’s not even their fault; some people just have really punchable faces.

 (I’m usually a really nonviolent person. I’m more like a violent person who at the same doesn’t really want to hurt anyone, so I have to resort to fantasizing about punching people, which just ends in eating my feelings in large quantities of McDonald’s.)

It’s funny for me, it’s actually not so much that go back and forth about wanting to come out. It’s like I simultaneously do and don’t want to be out. Which is pretty freaking exhausting, honestly. Like I’m in this constant state of JUST SAY IT and NO NEVER. Do you think that ever ends? I don’t know, maybe I’m just a really indecisive person. I think part of me is also just holding out until college when I’m away from anyone I know and can just reinvent myself.

So what kind of stuff do you like to do after school and everything?

-Angel

From: blue0919@gmail.com

To: bettertoburn@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 9:34 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

I don’t think I have any enemies, but now I’m definitely wondering if I’m the guy with the punchable face. How do you know if you have a punchable face? I’ve never been punched, so hopefully, that’s a good sign. 

I will say, I’m definitely with you on the issue of eating your feelings. I’m the person who has never smoked a cigarette or gotten drunk or anything like that, and I'm usually relatively healthy. However, I once ate five jars of Nutella in one sitting. I do not recommend, 

I’m indecisive, too, in some ways. Okay, full disclosure: I was really conflicted when you sent me that email. I kept going back and forth about whether I should email you. I was (and am) definitely intrigued, but I guess I was also a little bit paranoid. It’s just that you could have been anyone, and it’s hard to know sometimes if someone’s being a jerk or if they’re being sincere. Plus my cousin sort of actually outed me. Not to anyone else, he’s the only one who knows, but now I’m super paranoid about coming out. (Exactly what you said about holding out until college. I’m thinking I can move to LA or somewhere where nobody really cares. Although I wouldn’t want to reinvent myself. And I don’t want you to reinvent yourself either, you’re pretty cool as you are I think.) Anyway, I’m really glad I decided to email you, though.

So, you’re probably going to think I’m ridiculous, but I’d rather not answer your last question. It’s just… I think I like being anonymous for now. Is that okay?

-Blue

Okay, that last part was fair. Nico understood the wanting-to-be-anonymous thing. Sure, they go to the same school. But Blue had no reason to entirely trust him; Nico didn’t really trust Blue at all. This could entirely be some random asshole anywhere in the world trying to find him and beat him up, or worse. It sucked that homophobia was still a thing in their day and age. 

But Blue said he liked talking to Nico, and it was thrilling to talk to him. It was another secret of his, but not one he entirely minded keeping. So, he chose to believe that Blue was actually who he said he was. 

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 9:57 PM

Subject: Punchability

Blue, you have so much to learn about the rules of punchability, starting with the fact that it is completely impossible for you to have a punchable face. Rule number one: guys who make metaphors about Ferris wheels are automatically unpunchable. Rule number two: There isn’t one. Just rule number one, so memorize it. Everyone else can catch these fists. (Catch these fists? These hands? This would probably be more intimidating if I knew the correct phrasing)

Also, five jars of Nutella in one sitting is the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life. Challenge accepted.

I don’t think you’re ridiculous, Blue. I totally understand why you don't want to tell me about your extracurricular activities (I’m guessing interpretive dance, though, you seem like the type.) But seriously, I get it. It’s this weird contradiction, right? It’s so much easier to be open with someone who doesn't know you at all. We’ll be each other's Ultimate Therapists. 

(Except I don’t think I could ever be a therapist.)

Anyway, I’m really glad you decided to email me back, too :)

-Angel

That smiley face was really unlike him. 

Nico sent the email, but after nearly an hour, he didn’t get on back, which meant Blue was probably asleep. Which was different from what Nico was used to; he tended to stay awake until the early hours of the morning most nights. But it wasn’t anything he minded. He had a conversation with Blue, and even if that was the last one they would ever have (which, he was hoping it wouldn’t be), it was good to know that there was somewhere out there like him.

[queermediastudies]

C.R.A.Z.Y. and the Search for Identity

C.R.A.Z.Y. is a 2005 French Canadian film from director Jean-Marc Vallée.  The film itself centers on Zac, a character that his going through an identity crisis over the course of the film.  Zac also has four brothers.  Christian is something of an egghead who reads everything and is (assumed) to be very smart.  Raymond, whom Zac declares his enemy and is the films problem child.  Then there is Antoine who is the athlete of the family.  Finally there is Yvan, the youngest in the family and the one who speaks the least. The movie itself, focuses on the relationship between Zac and his father. While the movie clearly shows the struggle for identity, and acceptance, this is all the movie really does. It is not actually interested in taking on the greater LGBTQ issues throughout. 

Zac is the fourth born son in the family.  When arranging the brothers in order of birth it is, Christian, Raymond, Antoine, Zac and Yvan.  The first letter of their names, in birth order, spells out C.R.A.Z.Y., which the film uses to symbolizes the dysfunction of the family as a whole.  The boys have all grown up under a strict, incredibly masculine father.  The father’s name is Gervais and he wants all of his children to grow up to be big strong men.  Zac is fortunate enough (or unfortunate enough) to be born on Christmas day in 1960.  He is constantly reminded that his birthday is the same as Jesus Christ (which is significant with him growing up in a very Catholic family) and that because of that he must have a gift.  He is, the film points out, not like other boys.  The film leads audiences astray by saying Zac must have a gift.  If he thinks of people while they’re in pain they’ll get better.  What the film is really alluding to, however, is Zac’s homosexual desires.

The film plays around with the identity crisis a lot.  While Zac is the main character and his identity throughout the film is front and center, the film is really about a father’s love for his sons, but also the toxic masculinity of that father.  As the film begins Zac is a child, and his father’s favorite son.  But as Zac gets older his father wants him to be a “man.”  He doesn’t want Zac to be soft or feminine. A key scene in the film is Gervais stumbling upon Zac wearing women’s clothing and enjoying himself. This moment, Zac narrates, is a moment which “declares war” on his father, unbeknownst to him.

The film goes through three different periods of time.  First the early 60’s when Zac is a child.  The film then jumps to the mid 70’s when Zac is in adolescence and finally ends in early 1981 when Zac is an adult. It’s in adolescence that the film primarily pays attention to Zac and the “problem child,” Raymond. 

Raymond, who represents a lot of toxic masculinity, is shown as Zac’s sworn enemy throughout the film.  Raymond picks on Zac, tortures him, and calls him homophobic slurs. But it is also in adolescence that Raymond begins to develop a drug addiction. Like Zac, Raymond disappoints his father, but it’s due to his drug addiction, not sexuality. On the other hand, Gervais actually sees Zac’s sexuality as more of a problem. 

Zac spends a great deal of the film wanting to desperately win his father’s approval and he does so by trying very hard to repress his homosexual desires.  The movie has a way of communicating Zac’s identity crisis as he explores who he may be.  In one particular scene the audience sees that Zac is a David Bowie fan in the 1970’s.  David Bowie was said to be undergoing an identity crisis during that time.  In 1972, David Bowie said he was a homosexual.  Of course, over the course of his life, Bowie has been quite ambiguous about his sexuality (with the most common answer now being that he was bisexual).  With Zac undergoing his own identity crisis, David Bowie is definitely the perfect symbol in the 1970’s.  In a scene where he’s singing David Bowie in his room the audience can also see the Pink Floyd rainbow spectrum in the background.  Though Pink Floyd has nothing to do with homosexuality, the rainbow is a symbol of gay pride.  The camera makes sure you don’t always see the whole Pink Floyd symbol and mostly shows the audience the rainbow.  

In another scene Zac is seen interested in other boys and trying not to let that show (in one instance he feigns having an infatuation with his cousin when it is, in fact, her boyfriend he’s actually interested in).  

The most important part of his identity crisis comes from wanting to please his strict Catholic father.  Gervais has a Patsy Cline record where he listens to his favorite song: Crazy.  Part of how Zac “declares war” on his father is also because he accidentally broke that record. However, this symbolizes their destroyed relationship. A major subplot of the film is Zac constantly trying to find this record in hopes that this will please his father enough to accept him. 

Catholic guilt, another trait associated with homosexuality within catholic households, is also a major theme in the film. There are several instances of crosses seen throughout.  The mother is devout in her prayers and Zac even takes a trip to Jerusalem where he is able to accept his identity.  The fact that the film spends so much time with a son getting right with his father is likely another Catholic symbol.  Catholics often have to confess sins and ask for forgiveness to get back into the circle with God the Father.  This is exactly what Zac has to do throughout the movie.  Instead of having to get right with the Lord, however, Zac has to get right with his literal father. This can only happen by confessing his homosexuality to his father, and himself. Something Zac spends the majority of the film trying to repress. 

Another interesting aspect of the film is that throughout, it is clear that most of the other characters are aware of Zac’s homosexuality. Zac’s mother is quite supportive of him throughout the film. Even Raymond the “problem child,” ends up defending Zac from homophobes. The only character in denial is Gervais, who spends much of the film suggesting that Zac couldn’t possibly be a homosexual because in late adolescence and early adulthood Zac manages to get himself into a relationship with a woman. During this time in adulthood, it seems like Zac is able to please his father, but this means lying to himself. 

C.R.A.Z.Y. definitely takes the issues of identity and acceptance quite seriously and without a lot of sex.  There are implied sexual acts, but nothing explicit. C.R.A.Z.Y. isn’t out to shock the audience, it is out to show a very real struggle that happens with those who identity as LGBTQ.  There is nothing presented about Zac’s identity crisis that’s funny. His process of coming out and acceptance isn’t treated as a joke, but rather torture. Whether that’s from his father or his brother.  

C.R.A.Z.Y. was a huge critical success, but it was not necessarily a mainstream one. Being a foreign film meant that it was not widely distributed in the United States. It was also a smaller independent project. C.R.A.Z.Y. also came out the same year as “Brokeback Mountain,” but this film’s lack of media publicity makes it feel less like a moment where the culture pats itself on the back, and more like it was trying to present something more authentic. C.R.A.Z.Y. doesn’t rely too heavily on stereotypes. As well as it handles the identity crisis, however, the movie shows that it is firmly a product of its time by refusing to be too political in any sense of the word. 

C.R.A.Z.Y. came out eight years after Ellen had literally come out. The approach that Ellen took was a means of depoliticizing queerness, and focusing on identity (Dow, 2001). C.R.A.Z.Y. is similar in that it does not spend a lot of time focusing on any particular political issues of the day, or even struggles beyond identity. This is especially baffling within the film, as the majority of it takes place in the 1970’s, but has little to say about the ongoing gay rights movement that was taking place in Canada at the time. The movie seems to care little for actually discussing the political climate that Zac is finding himself in. This suggests that the struggle for identity and coming out is one done in isolation, with nothing from the outside creeping in. 

It is also worth examining who created the film. Director Jean-Marc Vallée is known more today for the movie “The Dallas Buyer’s Club,” but he is a straight, cis-gendered, white male. This will often bring about the question who the movie is made for, and why. As Doty (1993) reminds us, the director of a film can actually influence what the audience sees and experiences on screen. Vallée is actually quite known for his attempts at allyship through film, but he has also been criticized for his handling of some of these issues. C.R.A.Z.Y. is his most praised work for how well it dives into identity, but it also shows the reality of who is able to have their projects funded. Could C.R.A.Z.Y. have been made by a queer man? It is unlikely that this would be the case. 

On the other hand, as Joyrich (2014) points out, such displays of identity can still help in smaller ways. I do believe this to be true of C.R.A.Z.Y.. The film came out in 2005 when such topics as gay marriage and visibility were greater topics of discussion throughout Canada and the United States. Nevertheless, the film would still be considered “safe,” by all accounts. C.R.A.Z.Y. is a fairly sexless affair. One that is able to meet the “approval” of most straight audiences. In fact, until the very end, one might wonder if C.R.A.Z.Y. even is about identity simply for the fact that even after Zac fully realizes his homosexuality… the movie doesn’t explicitly state this. The climactic discussion between Zac and his father is one in which “homosexual” or “gay” is never stated, but is explicitly implied. Much like the 2016 film “Moonlight,” C.R.A.Z.Y. is one that largely meets approval based on how little sexuality is on display. This might refer to Guy Lodge’s (2017) criticism that in order for queer cinema to succeed in the west it needs to be sexless. In discussing “Moonlight” Lodge pointed out “it’s hard to imagine an equally accomplished yet more explicit film receiving the same acclaim.” The same can be said of C.R.A.Z.Y. Even though C.R.A.Z.Y. is a French-Canadian film, it is still quite Americanized in its presentation. Homosexuality can be talked about, but it can’t fully be on display. 

This also means that the film risks being part of what Suzanne Walters (2014) refers to as “the tolerance trap.” Walters argues that gay visibility alone is not a sign of progress. “Acceptance is the handmaiden of tolerance, and both are inadequate, and even dangerous, for accessing real social inclusion…” (p. 3) C.R.A.Z.Y. has been praised substantially. It is one of a small number of films on Rotten Tomatoes to have a 100% rating (it is the only LGBTQ film to have such a rating). This praise may not have the same back-patting praise that a film such as “Brokeback Mountain,” has, but it still has the air of “tolerance,” to it. Zac spends the majority of the film either in the closet or repressed--unable to act on his sexuality in any regard. The main point of the movie is his father’s acceptance. This is the goal of the movie--to establish Gervais’s acceptance of his son. Once this is achieved and the “war” between them is over, the movie concludes. Considering that the movie itself ends in the year 1981, this means the movie does not have to deal with the AIDS crisis that will soon follow. 

C.R.A.Z.Y. is a film more concerned with visibility and identity, but does not seek to apply this in a manner that would deem the film too “political.” This approach more to acceptance and identity helps a little, but it isn’t quite enough, even in 2005. It’s certainly better than what the the championed mainstream film “Brokeback Mountain” was. However, the obsession with tolerance, acceptance, and the lack of engaging politically with struggles beyond the personal makes a film like C.R.A.Z.Y. only really appear daring at what it does. It’s feels like more than window dressing because it comes across as more authentic. This certainly allows audiences to empathize with Zac, but it also stands to leave the audience with the belief that empathy and acceptance is all that is required when engaging with LGBTQ people. It’s a lot like saying, “I don’t care if your gay, bisexual or attracted to buildings! You’re still my son and love you!” From a personal standpoint this sounds just fine, but it does not show that one would stand up and fight for LGBTQ rights, or fight to enact change. Rather it shows that one can engage in individual forms of acceptance and tolerance, but that once something more is required than simply the personal, audiences may not necessarily be willing to rise up and do something. This could be, as Doty (1993) notes, because the “queer operates within the nonqueer” (pp. 3). C.R.A.Z.Y. may not have been as big of a mainstream hit as “Brokeback Mountain,” but the intent was still to reach a much wider audience. This is something that the film cannot do if it’s “too political.” This would risk alienating a section of the audience. In order for a film like C.R.A.Z.Y. to find mainstream success, it needs to be seen as acceptable by dominant power structures. This involves not necessarily challenging those structures, which is why the film’s messages are more individualistic and personalized. 

References

Doty, A. (1993) “Something queer here,” in Making things perfectly queer  (pp. 1-16). University of Minnesota Press.

Doty, A. (1993) “Whose Text is it Anyway,” in Making things perfectly queer  (pp. 17-38). University of Minnesota Press.

Dow, B. (2001) Ellen, television, and the politics of gay and lesbian visibility, Critical Studies in Media Communication, 18(2) 123-140. doi: 10.1080/07393180128077

Joyrich, L. (2014). Queer television studies: Currents, flows, and (main) streams. Cinema Journal, 53(2), (pp. 133-139). doi: 

Lodge, G (2017, January 5). “Does Moonlight show gay cinema has to be sexless to succeed?” The Guardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/jan/05/does-moonlight-prove-that-gay-cinema-has-to-be-sexless-to-succeed 

[kattipatang]

Idk what I’m doing lol... but life’s a mess

Back in the day I wrote out my entire life story and it gave me a lot of clarity and resolve. Nearly a decade later, I am going to do the same in hopes that I find some self-healing. Perhaps I can also validate my feelings so I don’t feel like I am entirely crazy for feeling the way I feel. FYI for those who know me, please note that (to my knowledge) I have removed my pictures and mentions of my name from this blog and do not wish to be identified at this moment. I would appreciate it if you could respect that.

I’m going to start all the way back in 2010. I came out as gay while I was in high school. I was met with a wave of support and love from students and faculty, except for a select few homophobes. However, if I thought they were bad, things were about to get much worse.

In early July 2010, I was awakened by my mother at 3am in the morning. This was very unusual, and the look on her face was one of pain and grief. She led me into a secluded room of the house where my uncle (her brother) sat waiting, my phone placed on the counter in front of him. My mom and father and gotten divorced after an abusive marriage, and we had moved in with my uncle and his family when I was 11 years old. Therefore, my uncle was a father figure for me.

I was made to sit down in between them, and the interrogation began. They had gone through my phone and found texts I sent to my friends, talking about my sexuality, and they claimed that they had also found out through the grapevine. I was yelled at by my uncle. He asked perverse and inappropriate questions about my sexuality, with dramatic monologues about how I am bringing shame to our immaculate family name that would put some of Bollywood’s most melodramatic moments to shame. All this occurred while my mother sat and silently weeped. Two hours of emotional and verbal abuse later I was sent back to bed.

The next morning, my uncle took my mom and disappeared for hours. Turns out they had gone to the doctor to discuss my situation, and a wave of relief washed over me. “Thank God,” I thought, “at least this person will see reason.”

I was wrong.

My uncle and mother came back hours later and took me with them to the car. My uncle leading, me behind him, and my mother closing in on me behind me. This would be the formation that would take place if we ever stepped out from here on out. For the next week, I had no cell phone, no access to the landline, no computer, no internet, all my friends were gone away for the summer - I was completely isolated.

Anyway, they drove me to the doctor’s office in the late afternoon, which I found odd because the office would have been closed by now. Sure enough, when we arrived at the clinic, there was a “Closed” sign on the door. However, my uncle opened it and lead me inside, with my mother following after me.

I was taken straight through the empty clinic - even the receptionist had gone home, so there was no record of my visit - and I was led into the doctor’s office, where he sat waiting for me. I walked in alone and the door was shut behind me.

What followed was a series of pseudo-scientific explanations as to how I’m mentally ill, disturbed and perverted. “This is a sickness,” he said. “God didn’t intend you to be this way.”

He added that this was probably because I don’t maintain a relationship with my father and was raised by a single mother, and I just need to “learn to be a man.” “And if you like anal sex, you know you can do that with a woman too you know?”

I was dejected. Destraught. Absolutely destroyed on the inside. A person I thought to be a voice of reason, was spewing the same judgemental ignorant rhetoric my uncle was. The irony makes me laugh though nine years later, because this year his wife discovered that he had been sleeping with a patient for the past several years. What a morally strong man…

The rest of the week is a bit of a blur. I disassociated myself for most of it. However the gist of it was my uncle interrogated me to see who I had sex with, my mother became suicidal, and my uncle became homicidal.

At one point he made explicit threats to my life, and I had to do an internal inventory. I can’t afford to run away and live on my own, I don’t want my mom to die, and I don’t want to get killed. So, I bit the bullet and basically faked a “recovery” to keep the peace. I had had enough of the emotional and mental abuse and manipulation from my uncle and just wanted some reprise.

I have a cousin I am extremely close with who I am out to. He lives out of province, and he was and is the biggest ally I have in my life. When he found out what was happening to me, he called my uncle. My uncle said something that concerned him, so he told me to fly out and stay with him for the duration of the summer until it was time for me to go back to school.

I did so and it was an amazing time. However, during that trip I also learned of how twisted my uncle’s brain truly was. He had told my cousin multiple ways in which he wanted to “deal with the mess” including murder, forced re-allocation and isolation, and he even wanted to hire a female sex worker to come rape me.

That stunned me, and I have never had a proper relationship with my uncle since.

Years went by, and it appeared as though the situation had been swept under the rug. My plan was to save up enough to one day pack my bags and leave, never to look back again. My mother and uncle were super close and he could have easily taken care of her in my absence.

That plan, however, was put on halt when the elders in the family decided that my mother should finally have a house of her own, a dream she had always had but never experienced. However, that would not be possible if I didn’t step up and help pay a portion of the mortgage. In actuality, I was given no choice either, so I put a stone on my heart and sacrificed my personal freedom so I could give my mother the comfort she deserves.

During the construction of the house though, everything went to shit. One day at the job site, a construction worker made fun of my more gentle mannerisms and began to make homophobic jokes. My uncle overheard and that was just the fodder he needed to begin making my life a living hell all over again.

From early 2016 until today, my uncle has been emotionally and mentally abusing me and anyone who will stick up for me. My mother would defend me, and he began to emotionally and mentally abuse her too.

I am stuck in the shittiest circumstance. My uncle and mother are waiting with bated breath to see what I do next.

My mother wants me to get married to a woman, something I will never do. My uncle WANTS me to flat out come out so he can further torture me verbally and/or physically, and make a spectacle out of my mother for having the audacity to speak up against his abusive tendencies.

And I honestly don’t know what the fuck I should do. On one hand, I refuse to marry a woman to please society. On the other hand, when I come out, my mother will want to have nothing to do with me, and with me gone, my uncle (and my aunt has joined the squad now) will have free reign to torture and harrass my mother. On top of that my mom won’t be able to make payments for the house, the house will be foreclosed, and my mom and sister will be forced to live on the streets, or move back in with my abusive uncle.

Just this past week while I was out of the house, my uncle came over to taunt my mother, because he knows he's emotionally vulnerable and won’t stick up for herself. He came over and told her that she’s basically unwanted and uncared for. That the people around her are going to treat her like a laughing stock. That no one is society will talk to her or say anything good about her because her son is a fag who will ruin the family izzat.

Izzat is something he is HELLBENT about. Back in the day when my mom was about to start college, he cornered her before she was about to leave the house and said “No one knows you for who you are, they know you as my sister. So if you fuck around with any guys whatsoever, I’m going to slit your throat and kill myself.” *slow clap for the amazing pep talk*

I am fucking exhausted. For the past nine years I have been surviving, not living. I go day in day out afraid for my life, afraid for what the future holds for my mother and sister. I’m afraid that something may happen to me, and no one will know and he will continue to live his life showing himself to be this perfect human who can never do any wrong.

However, I refuse to let that happen. Even if it’s the last thing I do, one day I am going to expose him and his truth to the world. He taunted my mother saying no one will care for her? Everyone is going to remember my mother for the beautiful soul that she is. It’s HIM that is going to be shunned by society for being the manipulative abusive psychopath that he is.

Everything is going to be made public one day. Crystal clear. Bright as day. I will make an example out of him, that if you around manipulating and abusing people for your little-man-syndrome/false pride, this is how you will be publicly disgraced and humiliated.

Until then, I need to go seek therapy, heal myself, and get ready to fight for not just my life, but for the sake of my mother and my sister. I had finally gotten to a point where I was actually excited to wake up in the morning. But now I’m back in that mental hole where when as soon as I wake up a wave of dread sweeps over me and I wish I hadn’t woken up. I would be lying if I said I have a will to live. However, I also refuse to do anything that would put my mother at risk for more abuse.

The thing that frustrates me the most is that while all this happened, NOTHING changed in my life. My struggle remained the same. As people zoom by me in life, getting amazing opportunities, running businesses, finding amazing life partners, just living their best life, I’m standing here like my legs are stuck in a block of cement. Feeling like I’m broken, lost, unworthy, unlovable, undesirable, and a failure.

Until I can do something, I could really use all the prayers I could get.

[fluorescentpipedream]

The Knox family

Ford is a country musician who left home at 17 in order to become a musician, though his borrowed Cadillac didn’t make it much further than Tennesse from the family’s home in Alabama.  (22)

Matthew is a very talented artist though does little with it. He occasionally gets to sell some of his drawings and paintings at the family store, but that’s not really what he wanted to do with it. He’s a little miffed that his baby brother was able to run off for his dream but he was guilt-tripped into coming back home very soon after getting into art school. Matthew wouldn’t admit it but he has a slight drinking problem and has a three-year-old son with a young woman he fell in love with in high school. (34)

John is Ford’s cousin and Loreli’s brother. He’s a little rockabilly mixed in with cowboy and usually works on the horse farm for his uncle Daryl. When Lorelei comes home, he talks her into starting a band in order to take care of her son and he offers to play guitar for her. Though he doesn’t usually bring it up, he’s diabetic and requires insulin monitoring, though he can take the pill rather than the shot.  (28)

Rider is another one of Ford’s cousins and works at the family-run general store most of the time. Rider is gay and runs an online amateur porn site, though his immediate family knows, he’s not exactly out to the rest of them. (22)

Daryl is the jack of all trades of the family, he’s one of Ford’s uncles, and the only one of his four brothers to not have children so far. Daryl is a hunter and works in taxidermy, as well as leatherworking and tanning. He supplies most of the handcrafted items sold at the family store. (42)

Jericho is Rider, John and Loreli’s father & Daryl and Theodore’s brother. While trying to keep an eye on the family farm and maintain that he’s a good Christian man, Jericho has actually been having an affair while his wife was sick with cancer. (45)

Lorelei is Ford’s cousin and John & Rider’s sister. She left home at 18 with an older man she married and had a son with, Levi. Four years later she called her uncle Daryl who brought his brother and a shotgun to Las Vegas to save her from her abusive husband. Loreli follows the same path as her younger cousin Ford and becomes a musician in order to provide a better life for her son. Her brother is her main writing partner and guitarist. (26)

Levi is Lorelei’s son, he’ll be 22 in the future. 

Theodore is the oldest of the brothers and the one that’s been the most out of touch for most of his life, the main reason being he’s been in jail for the last 15 years for pedophilia and a few counts of raping a minor. Referred to by most of the family as simply “Uncle Teddy” he was released much earlier than he should have been. Racist, homophobic and all-around a nasty guy, he’s not that close to his family and most of his nieces and nephews avoid him like the plague. (55) 

While Ford and Matthew’s father hasn’t given me much, his name is Elijah and he’s been married to the same woman since she graduated high school, he dropped out in order to take care of his father, the main patriarch of the family, especially after Theodore went to prison the first time. Like any parent, he does want what’s best for his children and he worries that Ford may forget who he is while he’s out on tour with his band and will end up abandoning everyone. In regards to what happened with Matthew, Eli is apologetic about it but explains that since Matt is the eldest of the family, he was the one with the most responsibility. And apparently, there’s a middle sister between Matt and Ford. 

(I’m not entirely sure this is what he looks like and this is just a place holder more than anything)

[christinaroseandrews]

Part 4

If you want to know what you missed in You Don’t Know Me, you can read Parts One, Two, and Three. Or you can just jump into the deep end and go from here. I should have said spoiler alert, but at this point who cares. However there are Trigger Alerts of Dubious Consent, Alcohol Abuse, Sexual Harassment, and a crap ton of sexist and homophobic microaggressions. Suffice it to say this is NSFW.

This is the last summary bit, I promise. I mean we only have a quarter of the book to go and the shit just hit the fan in a big way. Normally I would say that the last quarter is spent fixing the problems revealed on the way to the happy ending. But in You Don’t Know Me’s case, I would be completely wrong.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

With Alec, Rue, and Jenna all finding their own way back to the U.S. after their adventures in Ibiza, we’re left with Repentant Asshole Jack and Magically Reappearing Sean to follow around.

Sean once again proves he is too good for this world. By calling out Jack and how he’s been behaving.

Unfortunately this is literally all of the discussion that we get because the plane runs into turbulence. It turns out the turbulence is being caused by a large group of thunderstorms in the Caribbean (which most air traffic controllers try to steer around unless there is a more pressing reason not to) and everything goes to hell. Literally.

Since this is a storm, that means the water is going to be choppy which seriously impacts the ability of the pilot to land safely (my uncle pilots small craft and my cousin is a business jet pilot). Not to mention it feels like the only reason that Hopkins threw this in there was so that Jack would get a “get out of jail free” card and not have to be accountable for his actions and what he did to Rue.

The plane starts to go down and we get this.

Who here remembers the safety demonstration at the beginning of each plane flight? One of the things they stress is to not inflate the vest until you’re outside of the plane.

There’s a reason for that. It has to do with the laws of physics.  Namely, that most people aren’t strong enough swimmers to be able to dive underwater while wearing a life vest and people get trapped in the sinking plane because they are floating not walking. I even saw a TV show on this that referenced Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961 and the memories of survivors who heard the life vests inflate and then saw people dying because they couldn’t get out.

Mean water.

So now that Jack and Sean are likely dead. Let’s check in with our favorite musician who we’ve yet to see do anything that warrants his celebrity, Alec.

He arrives at LAX and is immediately greeted by people exclaiming that “Yay! You’re not dead but your friends are!”

Which leaves him going “Huh?”

He dashes off to a bar and gets the news.

Alec then takes a page from the Tommy Wiseau school of acting and falls apart.

And there you have the problem. This grief feels overacted. Forced. Like Faleena has never actually lost someone she cared about and is going through the motions of grief.

We flip to Rue who has heard the news and decided that the best thing to do is to go to Jack and Sean’s house and try to comfort their grieving mother. Remember, this is the same woman whose husband cheated on her and Rue is a living reminder of that infidelity and betrayal. But sure, let’s go comfort Mrs. Stone.  That’s a great idea.

Rue goes on and on in her head about how much she loves her brothers. Despite only knowing them a week. And one of the brothers has done his level best to break her and succeeded.  Then we get this.

My parents went from Met to Engaged in literally 3 weeks. So I know it’s possible. But Rue hasn’t had the same kind of “get to know you” experiences. She’s had parties, and more parties, and that’s about it. The real problem is that the author didn’t show the bonding between any of her characters. Instead, she meandered from external plot device to external plot device without any character development. The number of times I can count Alec and Rue actually talking is non-existant. They don’t talk. They lust after each other.

Right now I am firmly on the mother’s side.

Alec shows up about a minute later and lets himself and Rue in.

When he appears, the mother reappears - drugged out - and apologizes to Rue.

We then get some of the backstory of Rue’s father and mother.

Apparently the mother left and despite telling Rue’s dad that she never wanted to see him, he still loved her. He even wrote a note to his wife telling her that he never loved her and that Rue’s mom was his soulmate. The man is a piece of work.

Not to mention, I have concerns about just how much Rue’s mom wanted the affair and how much was coercion.  Because let’s be honest, it’s a power imbalance.

After this, we travel back in time to see what happened when the plane crashed. At this point, I am firmly convinced that Jack and Sean died despite what the author claims, and this is just a huge fantasy spun by Rue as part of the bargaining phase of grief. I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else.

The plane lands and Jack and Sean and the pilots manage to get out despite the rising water.

Once out of the plane they have to swim against the waves to get to the raft with an injured co-pilot.

At this point, I’m just chanting “Nope” so much that my dogs got concerned about my sanity and started bringing me toys in the effort to break me out of my fugue-state.

I have good dogs.

Of course Jack and Sean survive to reach the raft...

How do I know they’re near Cuba? It becomes a plot point later. But you want to know what else is near Cuba? The Gulf Stream.

Look at those water temps... Hmmm It’s almost like it’s warm in the Caribbean or something.

This water is definitely warmer than ANYTHING along the California coast. (LA average water temps in November are in the low 60s. The Florida Keys average water temperatures are in the upper 70s to low 80s during the same time.)

Sorry, my Earth Science degree is screaming. I’ll stop.

While they’re drifting they have a heart to heart and Sean reveals he’s gay.

Seriously, Jack is one of the most horrible people I’ve ever encountered that was supposed to be a redeemable character. There have been villains - Loki, Vegeta, Draco Malfoy, Darth Vader, Spike - who have had better redemption arcs and been better people than Jack.

Then this happens.

I actually went back and counted, from the time traveling reboot it literally was 8 pages from the start of that chapter with the actual plane crash and them being rescued. They were in the water for only a few hours or at least that’s what it feels like. The author is not good with time.

We return to Rue and Alec in California and get this...

Yep, the President calls to tell them Jack and Sean are safe.

There’s some very painful dialogue and then Mrs. Stone wanders off.

And one of Faleena Hopkins’ issues rears its head...

From here on, I imagined the entire scene was being listened to by Obama. It wasn’t pretty.

We start in on a “I am so happy my best friends are alive I must sex you up!” which I will spare you. Then Alec and Rue have a heart to heart and they decide that they can only be friends. Because she loves her brothers and she wants to make it work with them. I can get loving Sean. Sean is awesome. Jack can go rot. Have I mentioned I hate Jack?

Next we have a party to celebrate the return of Jack and Sean and my love of Sean wanes while my hatred of Jack and Alec rises. Jack because he’s a horrible human being. Alec because he spends his time moping about how wants Rue but can’t have her.

Sean wanders away and spends the next few minutes telling everyone he talks to that he‘s gay. Which I wouldn’t have a an issue with if this wasn’t billed as a straight romance. Sean rejoins the group and we get the following “Jack is terrible” things. 

Jack stops with his harassment of Jenna and has a talk with Rue. Revealing that he too tried to commit suicide.

You know. I hear counseling is a thing. Maybe you all should look into that.

Anyway after that, he gives permission for Alec to date Rue.

Because men giving permission for people to date their female relatives is so 2015... or 1915... or 1815. One of those. This is also sexist. I know there’s a bro code, but frankly Jack has been such an ass and literally he’s known Rue for like a week, I’m skeptical.

Alec is relieved and runs off to find Rue. But she’s trying to stick to her vow of only friends.

So when she tells him no twice, he does this.

This is what Faleena Hopkins considers sexy: abuse. Naturally Rue is turned on and they run off to have sex.

Horribly horribly written sex.

Thankfully the scene is short. And by I short I mean WTF short.

The chapter ends with Alec and Rue making a promise to try to make things work. And if the story had ended there, it could kind of squeak into romance. But it doesn’t.

Instead the story ends with Rue, Jack, and Sean going on a talk show and talking about their life.

And here’s the final line.

Yep...

Honestly, Sean’s story arc was the most developed and compelling. But when a secondary character’s plot takes over the core plot of your romantic leads, there is something wrong.

Unfortunately, I am literally running out of room so I’ll sum up in another post where I talk about the most salient problems.

If you’re enjoying these reviews, you can buy us a kofi.

[jbarnes101]

Shadowfiend

What’s up guys and welcome back to another blog post by yours truly once again but today I have some unfortunate news. As of today this’ll be my last blog of my semester, I know I know it’s really shocking and upsetting to you all I get that and in all honesty I’m pretty sad myself that this is my final blog post because I really enjoyed connecting, sharing my thoughts, and gaining feedback from you guys, you guys are amazing and thank you for sticking by my side til the end. But anyways this blog is really gonna bring your spirits up as this one is my number one favorite and this is really different from the rest of the blogs I’ve done in the past because today I’m going to be creating my very own superhero. That’s right guys, I’m going to be creating my own superhero for the very first time in my life and this is going to be exciting for me because when I was little I used to pretend I had super powers and of course I was in a superhero film after watching so many X-Men films and shows, literally the X-Men franchise was hands down my favorite superhero films growing up and to this day I still support the new X-Men films even though a few of them were a flop but I still show my support. Hopefully one of these days someone or a friend of mine could make my hero come to life through artwork, that would literally be awesome.

Now that I have all of your divided attention, let’s take a look at your next future hero in development. We’re gonna take a bit of a look into the life of Cayden Garcia, a Filipino-Puerto Rican mix also goes by the name known as Shadowfiend. His name may sound villainous to some people but trust me he has a good heart with a bit of a rebellious side to him. Cayden is mostly affiliated with the X-Men but his life before discovering his mutant ability was much more different before leaving past life behind. Growing up in the suburbs of New York wasn’t always easy for our middle class 18 year old teenager as he navigates through life in High School and life at home but that’ll all start to change soon. Moving towards the life at home, Cayden was the son of Dion and Vannessa Garcia, with his father being an entrepreneur and owning his own business and for his mother being a nurse at their local hospital. Cayden also has a 13 year old little sister named Angelina and they get along somewhat well but Angelina always gets most of the good attention and she gets to do whatever she wants. As for Cayden he never really got that type of attention even when he was little, his parents always pushed him to pursue what they wanted for him and it was never what he wanted in life. His parents would also teach him on how to behave a certain way around others even if it means to keep him out of trouble and they’re also super religious as well. Cayden would also have quite the imagination when he was younger as he’d always wished he had a brother, mostly a twin. He decided to make up an imaginary twin brother so whenever he felt lonely, he would play along with his imaginary brother. When it comes to life outside home, Cayden had a part time job at a boutique store in their town. Cayden didn’t really have any friends at least not anymore. When he was little he had only one friend named Darwin and they would always spend time with each other from Elementary School to the beginning years of High School. They were really close but as they got older, Darwin started to distance himself away from Cayden and hang around with his new group of friends after rumors we’re spreading accusing Cayden and Darwin for being a couple and since then, Cayden chose to be a loner but how can a good looking guy like Cayden stay all alone? Of course for every High School story there’s always gotta be a school bully and that bully is the school’s jock Ivan. Ivan would always harass Cayden for being so weird, teasing him about his sexuality, and for not having any friends. The harassment would go even as far to physically beating up Cayden and insulting him for being a homosexual even though nobody knows. The school, his peers, and not even his own parents would step in to help him as much. Cayden would also soon start to realize and come to terms about his sexuality because of how often he’d feel some type of way around other guys that he finds attractive and start developing secret crushes but little did anybody know was that one time Cayden had his first kiss and it was with a boy from his school and Cayden enjoyed every minute of it. One night as Cayden got off from work he decided to walk home and as he was walking he ran into Ivan and his friends. Cayden would try to avoid them but Ivan and his group would soon catch Cayden walking all alone so they decided to walk towards him but that signals Cayden to start running. Ivan and his group would start pursuing after Cayden and they managed to catch up to him. Ivan would soon tell Cayden that he knew his secret about the boy he kissed because the boy ended up being Ivan’s cousin and the whole kiss was a setup. Ivan and his group would soon start yelling out homophobic slurs towards Cayden and they would start to beat him while he lied on the ground helpless. Next thing you know, a shadowy figure appears behind Ivan that would soon throw him along with his friends to the ground. Ivan and his friends cower in fear as they all saw the shadowy figure standing before them which made them all back up and run away. The shadowy figure would soon turn his attention towards a shocked Cayden and would resume to walk towards him but Cayden would slowly back away. The shadowy figure meant no harm to Cayden as it would offer a hand to help him up. Cayden would notice something familiar about the figure's appearance as the shadow would have the same curly black hair and the same athletic body type as Cayden but the shadow looked more like a dark shadowy figure with white soulless eyes more than an actual human. Cayden would soon realize that the shadowy figure was himself. He couldn’t believe that his own shadow would come to life but it seems as though his shadow would be much more like a twin he had hoped for but the only problem is that the shadow couldn’t speak. Cayden would secretly start to bond with his shadow and one thing he learned is that the shadow was more of a rebel than himself. The shadow and Cayden spent so much time together that Cayden never bothered to show up to school after the whole incident with Ivan which sparked Dion and Vanessa’s suspicion after they found out Cayden hadn't been in class and him sneaking out. One night as Cayden decided to sneak out again, Dion and Vanessa caught him and demanded an explanation for his behavior lately. Cayden tried to make up a small little lie but they could see right through him and started interrogating him and demanded the actual truth. Cayden wanted to tell them about his ability but he knew how they’d react so he decided to do the unthinkable in order to protect his secret. Cayden inadvertently came out to his parents that he was gay and told them he going to see a boy. Both the parents were shocked but not in a good way as Dion was furious and that he never raised his son to be that way but as for Vanessa, she cried and said how disgusted she was towards her son. Cayden grew even more furious and started an all out argument with his parents but with one wrong word, Dion ended up slapping Cayden which made someone even more furious. The shadow appears and starts to choke out Dion but Cayden manages to calm the shadow down and tells him to let his father go. Cayden’s parents stood in fear of what appeared in front of them and that was when Cayden decided to tell them about his power and the shadow. Dion and Vanessa were even more appalled by their son and accused him with dealing with the devil’s work and the shadow was possessing him. Cayden would deny his parents but they didn’t wanna listen as they threatened to exorcise the shadow out of him. As Dion and Vanessa left without saying another word, Cayden made the decision to pack all his things he needed and run away from his life and from his family along with his shadow. A distraught Cayden never wanted to look back.

Cayden may look like he was on his own but the only person or thing that stood by his side was his own shadow. For being on the run, that gave Cayden and his shadow the perfect opportunity to bond and learn a little more about his ability. As they jumped from train to train, our 2 runaways ended up in another town called Chester and eventually upon arrival, Cayden started to feel hungry. Cayden spotted the town’s local diner and felt so much relief after smelling the delicious food after walking in. He was eventually seated and he couldn’t take his eyes off the food from the menu but he decided to order a simple meal in order to satisfy his cravings. The wait wasn’t really long judging by there weren’t that many people in the diner and once the waitress delivers the food, Cayden started to chow down like there was no tomorrow. Nothing was left on Cayden’s plate and he started to feel full but once the check came back to him, he soon realized he didn’t have enough money and once the waitress found out she had no choice but to alert her manager and call the police. Cayden starts to panic and proceeds to run out of the diner. While running away as quickly as possible, Cayden would happen to run into a man in a wheelchair but he doesn’t pay any mind to him and just proceeds to run. While coming to a stop, Cayden would rest in a peaceful forest within the town. After a few minutes of rest, Cayden would eventually hear a noise coming close by which made him stay on high alert but he would soon come to realize that it was the man in the wheelchair who followed him. The man wished no harm on poor Cayden and would take notice that he’s been through a rough patch. The man would introduce himself as Charles Xavier and that he was the headmaster for Xavier’s School for gifted Children also known as The X-Mansion. Xavier would go on to tell that Cayden was born with a gift, a genetic trait called the X-gene. Cayden couldn’t process what was happening or how Xavier found out about his abilities but Charles would explain that he has been watching Cayden for some time with the power of Cerebro, a machine that detected mutants all over the world. Xavier has been searching for Cayden and he wanted him to come join his school but Cayden felt a little reluctant on why Xavier would help him. Xavier would go on to tell him that he has abilities as well and he would show him that he could communicate with Cayden in his head notifying that Xavier is a telepath and he would also go on to tell him that there are other students at his school who are just like Cayden with different abilities looking for an education and also learning on how to control their abilities. Cayden would agree to travel with Xavier back to the school and once they get there, Xavier promised Cayden a clean shower, a room, fresh clothes, and food as well. When they arrived at the school, Cayden couldn’t believe the amount of kids his age younger and older were just like him but of course he had to be cautious on what he was about to walk into. While given the grand tour Xavier introduces another mutant by the name of Jean Grey who was also a telepath and she manages to have a talk with Cayden encouraging him to stay and explaining on what to expect at the school, some mutants would have the opportunity to go on missions, and what they would do to help him understand and control his ability. Cayden for once felt like he belonged somewhere and made the final decision to stay at The X-Mansion. Through time while Cayden was given the education he was promised, he manages to get better with his classes while also training up on his abilities as well. Cayden even started to learn sign language after it was given to him as a recommendation in order for him and his shadow to communicate better. Cayden even realized after so much learning he has the power of dark manipulation as well as teleportation and he would soon come up with his very own codename called Shadowfiend. Through time, Cayden even got the help from Charles Xavier to design his own X-Uniform. The uniform would consist of a full body sleeveless suit with the colors of red and black on it along with black leather gloves with of course an X on the front part of the suit plus a personal touch by Cayden a black leather jacket to go along with it to wear over the suit and black boots. After training up on his abilities, Cayden was finally invited to go along on his first mission with another group of mutant youngsters called The New Mutants. Cayden couldn’t believe after all the hard work he’s put into the X-Mansion really paid off and now his next new move is to help protect others and even help other mutants that are out in the open world struggling to make it through life just like he did. Cayden also wanted to set an example and send a message by explaining “no matter who you are or what you are, there will be a place where people won’t accept you but if you keep moving forward and work hard, there will be a place where people are just like you and you’ll feel more loved and welcomed”. If something were to ever happen to Cayden/Shadowfiend, he knows he would’ve left behind a legacy of proving that anybody could be accepted anywhere no matter what you look like or who you chose to be in life. Always choose the right path and don’t let anyone dictate your life on who you want to be.

Well guys what do you think? I know it looks pretty long but that’s just the fun of it on what creative ideas came up in my mind and plus I wanted to send you guys off on a long blog post anyway just so you guys don’t feel upset as much since this is the last time you guys will ever hear from me. For Cayden I wanted to create a superhero that looks like me so that way I didn’t have to think on appearance as much and as for his ethnicity and sexuality, I felt as if there wasn’t much on Filipino superheroes or even LGBTQ+ superheroes as well so why not create another character to fit into that sort of category but also Cayden’s life would be much more different from mine. I also made the decision on making Cayden’s powers which is inspired by one of my favorite Mortal Kombat characters, Noob Saibot. Well guys that’s the end of the road for me again thank you guys so much for sticking with me on this short blog journey. Hopefully this’ll inspire others like you guys to write something creative as well like I did. On a final note, stay safe and stay creative. Love you guys so much. Thank you and goodnight!

[leahlisabeth]

This is my pinch hit for @howaremonstersborn for @aftgexchange.

I hope this is what you wanted and that you enjoy.

Summer Camp AU

So what if the Hemmicks paid for Aaron to go to a summer Exy camp with Nicky when they were 15/16 .  Tilda was all too willing to have the house to herself for a summer.

And maybe Cass sent Andrew to the same camp.  He had been getting more aggressive since Drake came home to visit and she thought it might help him to spend some time with kids his own age in a place where he could work out his frustrations in a constructive way.

Now Wymack isn’t particularly religious and he didn’t intend for his camp to be one for all the church kids but one mother got it into her head that this was one of those camps where they pray the gay away.

And Nicky had told his mother some of the confusing feelings he had been having.  She of course told Luthor and they decided to send him away to camp.

Luthor shook Wymack’s hand and told him to make his son into a man.

Wymack rolled his eyes and once the Hemmicks had left, he put his hand on Nicky’s shoulder and told him he should just focus on being himself and playing Exy.

This becomes one of the best summers of Nicky’s life.

He’s only ever played Exy casually but he’s actually getting better.

There is a boy named Erik in his cabin who is pure sunshine and likes to hold his hand by the bonfire they have every night.

Erik is from Germany.  His parents are part of an International company that holds massive conferences in different countries every year.  His parents sent him to camp so he wouldn’t be bored while they were in constant meetings.

Nicky has his first kiss, and his second, third, fourth, etc.

Wymack catches them and Nicky thinks he’s going to get a beating, or at least a very stern talking to.  But Wymack just tells him how to be safe and lets him know that he doesn’t have to do any of this before he’s ready. He can wait and grow up and be sure.

Erik doesn’t want to rush either.  He’s happy to hold Nicky’s hand and pick him flowers and kiss him goodnight.

By the time Nicky leaves camp, he has a plan for the rest of high school.  One that includes Germany with Erik and leaving his homophobic parents.

Aaron’s summer is not nearly so idyllic.  First thing that happens once he gets into the cabin is that he picks a bunk and a boy from behind him tells him to pick another one.

Aaron turns and it’s like looking in a mirror.  Same blond hair. Same diminutive frame.  Same bad attitude.

Nicky is pretty excited.  He’s got a new cousin and maybe this one will be nicer.  And he loooooves Parent Trap.

And Aaron tries to suppress his anger because he did always want a brother.  So he asks Andrew if he lives with his dad because Aaron doesn’t know who his father is.  (And Nicky made him watch Parent Trap like eight times.) But Andrew tells him flatly that he’s in foster care and doesn’t know who either of his parent’s are, yanks Aaron’s duffel off the top bunk and shoves it into his chest, tosses his own bag up there, climbs up after it and lies there on the bunk silently staring at them until they leave him alone.

Aaron wishes he was better at talking to people and knew how to have a conversation with him but he couldn’t come up with anything to say.  And he feels a little bit guilty that he grew up with a mother and Andrew grew up with nobody.

His guilt turns back into anger when Andrew shuts out the goal and everyone is talking about how good he is.

Because Aaron is an adequate player but he doesn’t stand out.

And what if Tilda finds out about Andrew and thinks she decided to keep the wrong twin.

And what if she came and took Andrew home after camp instead.

And Aaron had to go into foster care.

He didn’t think he would like Andrew’s foster family.  He had seen fading, finger-shaped bruises on Andrew’s hips when the elastic on his threadbare sweatpants decided to give up the ghost.

A lot of his nights were spent lying awake and wondering how he could prove his identity if Andrew decided to steal his life.

Sometimes Andrew stared at him a lot and Aaron wondered if he was memorizing his speech patterns and mannerisms so he could impersonate him later.

Then everything changed when Andrew found a kid in the woods.

The kid had black curly hair and brown eyes.  At least, they thought he had brown eyes.  It was a little tough to tell under all the swelling.

He was delirious with fever and screamed when they tried to take him away from his little shelter.

He was terrified at the idea of telling any kind of authority so Andrew got Aaron and Nicky to bring him supplies while he helped the kid get over his illness.

Aaron helped with the first aid, even cleaning out an infected wound.  He was pretty good at it.  He wondered wistfully if he would ever go to college.  Maybe he could be a doctor if Tilda would let him go to school.

The kid, Neil, got better but still refused to leave the woods.  He insisted his mother was coming back.  She had taken the long way around to throw someone off their scent.  She would be back when it was safe.

By the last week of camp, she still hadn’t returned.

And Wymack got suspicious and followed them into the woods.

He was going to call the police about Neil but he had a talk with him in private and instead gave Neil a bed in the corner of their cabin.

The summer ended.  Nicky and Aaron went home.

Nicky had an address to write to and a phone number to call.  But it still broke his heart to say goodbye to Erik.

Aaron just wanted to be at home.  Tilda wouldn’t win any mother of the year prizes but she was his and no other kid was going to steal her from him.

Andrew was picked up by a smiling couple and their tall, broad-shouldered son.  They looked like the perfect family but Andrew’s face was pale and he couldn’t look them in the eye.

Aaron surprised himself by marching over to shake Andrew’s hand and leave a piece of paper with his phone number.  Because maybe Andrew would need somewhere to run soon.

Neil stayed with Wymack but Aaron and Nicky both could see the need to run growing in his eyes.

And so they all left and went home and wondered if their paths would ever cross again.