#- mutual. i rlly like sharing the things that make me happy with others in hopes of making them happy

[neige-leblanche]

im sorry ive been more grouchy than usual lately it is the aforementioned sleep deprivation😭💔

[bambieyedoll]

i saw ur bella hc on my feed and i am instantly obsessed, faster than the speed of light ‼️🥹 can i request an hc where its a looking from afar sort of thing? like bella is rlly known now but also musician reader 🤭 like would they fangirl ab each other on public or privately? would they meet?AAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😫

hi, baby ! aw, that’s so sweet. thank you so much for that, it means a lot to me. here it is, i hope you like it, love. ♡

bella would be obsessed the moment they hear your voice on the radio while driving home from work. would quickly download your album that same night feeling intrigued by you.

in a couple of days, they already watched every interview and stalked your social media.

the way you expressed, both through your art, your songs, and in interviews, made them wish they could talk to you, desire holding a conversation with you.

you were just mesmerizing to bella.

would listen to your songs every day without fail. it relaxed them whenever they were feeling tired or overwhelmed because of their work.

the effect you had on them was something else.

you’d have them fangirling in secret whenever you posted on instagram or released a new song.

bella would keep you for themselves. just gatekeeping you, holding onto the feeling of you being a treasure they had found and only they knew.

you knew them and admired their work dearly too.

bella’s work on the series the last of us was just breathtaking. you found yourself every sunday sitting on your sofa with a snack watching new episodes.

you stalked bella’s instagram too.

your curiosity about them as a person grew and you loved watching their interviews. adored listening to their opinions and point of view about the series.

you wouldn’t dare to follow them on instagram tho.

your shy nature wouldn’t let you. however, you did posted your tv screen with the tlou intro one sunday.

when bella watched your story using their secret acc, they went nuts. they would let out a little squeak and giggles. the happiness was so real.

would go all shy afterwards. knowing you watched their work and not only that, you’ve been watching them every sunday.

the day you finally followed them, bella would be on could nine. immediately following you back, to your surprise and delight.

two little cuties staring at their phones in their respective houses. totally oblivious to the admiration and the (massive) crush you had on each other.

bella would think about texting you a hundred times after you officially became mutuals on ig.

wouldn’t do it due to their shyness and nervousness.

honestly, bella would open your dm’s, write something, read it five times, then delete it and exit the app. just overthinking the whole thing.

you, on the other hand, would feel courageous after following them and getting a follow back. so one day, you deep breathed and wrote to them first.

just imagine the moment bella woke up one day and saw your message on their dm’s.

they would double blink just to make sure they were awake and it wasn’t a dream.

from that day on, bella and you would text though instagram and share your mutual admiration.

bella would flag your chat to make sure your was the first one they’d see.

would get to know each other more and more in just a couple of days then they would officially ask for your number with some cute excuse like wanting you to be able to call them if you needed anything.

bella wouldn’t get over the excitement of having gotten your number.

would add your contact with a lovely heart after your name and then smile to themselves at how pretty it looked.

talking to each other would became a daily need.

your day wouldn’t be complete without your “good morning” and “sweet dreams”.

they’d give you smooth little compliments every here and there, making you blush through the phone.

you would also start to videocall. making it even more personal but also difficult to hide the effect you had on each other.

the first videocall was a mix of adorable pink painting both your cheeks, nervous giggles and glowing eyes glancing at each other.

for real, they wouldn’t be able to focus being well aware that your soft gaze was directed at them through the screen of their phone.

sometimes, you would sing to them obeying their adorable demand.

the song was up to their choice but when they said you could sing what you choose you opted for a verse of “glue song” and that made their heart go crazy.

bella’s crush on you would grow to the point they started to think about you even more constantly.

asking you on a date would be on their mind 24/7.

the day they finally asked you out (after planning it on detail) it was though a video call you both had before going to sleep.

it was something you started doing, finding comfort in your conversations that sometimes lasted until late night before wishing each other sweet dreams.

you immediately would say yes while nodding slightly with the purest smile just for them.

bella would let out a happy “yes!” in celebration after you ended the call and went to sleep feeling like the most fortunate person alive.

[stoutguts]

A Pint of Comfort (💀🧼) PART 4

(The final part, woohoo! Let’s get into it! :333 ALSO REPOST FOR REACH BECAUSE I FUCKED UP AND FORGOT TAGS AT FIRST—😬💀😭)

(first time rlly writing a full length fic like this, so be nice okay?)

Tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship, the definition of hurt/comfort, mutual pining (kind of?????/just barely (idk, I'm kind of bad with tropes), lots of crying (and suggestive kissing), Ghost has Astraphobia,—Johnny helps Simon through a PTSD episode, while also finally getting a much needed point across 💖

possible CW/TW for PTSD, flashbacks, Ghost's canon backstory, very subtly implied NSFW at the very end lmao, and implied parental/child ab*se

Link to part 3! Teehee:

“So, what’s got ye up so early?”, Johnny asks, as Simon hands him a fresh cup of joe.

“I thought I’d make ya breakfast. As a treat”, Ghost replies, blushing a bit,—pausing briefly to take a sip of his morning tea. “Also, I’m feeling better today.—I think I’m finally getting over this bloody cold”, they finish.

“Ah’m glad yer feelin’ better”, Soap says with his signature smile. Simon’s heart flutters. “Ye dinnae have to do that though, ye know ah’m not much of a breakfast kind of guy anyways—“, Johnny starts, but Ghost cuts his rambling short.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Simon blushes furiously. Ya took care of me last night,—when I was at my lowest. The least I can do is make ya breakfast or something…as a thank you”, Ghost says, averting its gaze, and rubbing the back of his neck.

Soap could’ve fucking wept at that.

Poor Simon wasn’t used to having things given to them, and someone not expecting something in return. And Johnny would be fucked, if he wasn’t going to shower the man with love and affection regardless if it’s reciprocated.

Soap’s love for Ghost, is simply unconditional. They’re his ride or die,—his soulmate.

In Johnny’s humble and infatuated opinion, Simon deserves the fucking world and then some. He’d fall over himself to give it whatever it wanted or desired.—Because that’s just how much he loves his partner.

“Oh Si, baby, ye don’t need to thank mae. He sets his coffee mug down on the kitchen counter, walking over to them. Ghost, in turn, setting down their teacup on its saucer. Yer happiness and well-being is all that matters to mae. Ah’m more than content with ye just being by my side like this…”, Soap says, with now half-lidded eyes. Cradling it’s face in his hands, as it settles it’s own hands on his hips.

The two share a kiss before pulling back from each other,—shaky and gentle.

“But—“, Simon starts, utterly flustered, but is interrupted by Johnny kissing him again, His hands stilling cupping their rosy cheeks.

It’s more passionate this time around, and it makes Ghost gasp, breath hitching, and it’s pulse race. Small noises slipping from the both of them.

“No ifs, ands, or buts..I love ye Si, I love ye so much. Yer mae everything. Words cannae even describe…Yer more than enough Si..”, Soap says, babbling a little, closing his eyes and touching their foreheads together.

“Ah’ll tell ye over and over, as many times as it takes to get it through yer thick skull.—Yer loved more than ye could ever know. Yer not a burden or a monster,—yer Simon…..I hope one day ye’ll see in yerself, what I see in ye”, Johnny finishes, finally moving his hands down from Ghost's face to take his hands in his.

He opens his eyes again, only to be met with his boyfriend bursting into tears, with them streaming down like a waterfall.

His actions had always spoken much louder than his words,—that is,—until this moment. (And though his actions did certainly help things in this instance like usual,—he could tell it still wasn’t the real kicker).

Overcome with emotion,—and the fact that he may have finally gotten through to it,—he fails to stop himself from crying too.

Eyes wide but soft, vulnerable, and begging Soap not to wound them. Simon's lips quivering, and hung slightly open in a stunned silence.

"Di-Did I say something wrong?—“, Johnny begins to overthink, but abruptly stops, as Ghost unlinks their hands and embraces him. Burying it’s tear streaked face into his neck, and Soap can’t help but be transported back in time to last night.

Tears still flowing and soaking his neck, as he tenses up again, with his thoughts running wild once more.

Reading Johnny’s body language, Simon lifts up.

“Ya did nothing wrong. Ya said nothing wrong.—And I hope so. I hope I can love myself, as much as you love me.—Thank you. Thank you so much, Johnny”, Ghost sobs, before kissing him this time. Before he can even respond, a hand is gripping tightly onto his mohawk like a makeshift love handle, while the other arm is wrapped around his waist.

Feral, with teeth scraping against lips, and their tongues clashing against each other. Primal, with harsh breaths being taken in through their noses, and small moans and groans climbing their way out of their throats. Both of their faces now tear-streaked, and they can both feel the wetness of their cheeks pressing up against each other.

Simon flips them over to where Soap is now the one pressed up against the counter. Before Ghost finally pulls away, and peppers kisses all over his face and neck. Mouthing at and paying special attention to the scar across his eye and the one on his chin. All the while, Johnny is writhing, scratching his nails against their scalp and back.

“Woah…..He breathes out panting.—Well yer pretty chipper this mornin’, aren’t ye?”, Soap says teasingly, a bit dazed, with a goofy smile that’s so wide that it hurts.

Simon chuckles. “Uh-huh, though I'd be even more “chipper” if we could eat first”, it suggests, just as breathless, smiling just as wide, and is just as dazed. Before finally coming to, and lifting off of Johnny entirely.

“Sounds like a plan”, Soap agrees, suddenly more eager, after he hears both their stomachs gurgling and growling.

…

The pair chow down on a bowl of some semi-burnt scrambled eggs each, and black toast with jam (how appetizing,—strawberry jam for Johnny, and grape for Simon). Neither of them really being able to cook for shit. (Most times defaulting to eating out somewhere, or microwaving some frozen dinners. Sometimes turning on a movie or a nature documentary to watch while (and after) they eat. Cuddling up to one another, full and content). The team effort they had made didn’t go well AT ALL, and it was one eventful shit show. Left them both laughing and shooting the shit the whole time, (which is probably why they fucked up so bad in the first place,—minus their almost non-existent culinary skills). Ghost was in charge of the eggs (because if they weren’t, they’d be even more burnt), and Soap was in charge of the toast (which he promptly forgot about of course).

The two had already downed a banana and an apple respectively, for a more balanced breakfast. Both the core and the peel still sitting somewhere on the kitchen table, having not been thrown away yet.

As they’re finishing up their drinks—Ghost finally pipes up after a long bit silence,—on a relatively quiet morning, at least for them.

“I think I get it now.”

“Git whot?”, Johnny slurs, as he speaks with his mouth full.

“That ya…Simon huffs a laugh at the slurred voice, and blushes. He takes the final sip of his tea, before placing it down on the table…Really, truly love me.”

Wow.

It actually said it.

“Mm-hm,—he swallows—and just how much do I love ye?”, Soap prods further, a mischievous grin on his face. He sets his fork down in his bowl of eggs, and puts his half-eaten toast back on their large, shared plate. (As they decided to consolidate, as to not have to wash so many dishes). (Not to mention, the bowls they’re eating out of are disposable).

Fockin’ Bastard.

“M-more than anything in the whole wide world…”, Ghost chokes out, avoiding Johnny’s gaze. Viciously taking a bite out of their toast.

Embarrassed as all hell, as it knows that it’s as red as a tomato at this point,—he can fucking feel it.

And he hates it, but somehow loves it, at the same time…

“That’s right. And who are ye?”

He raises an eyebrow, with that shit-eating grin still on his face.

“Simon Riley…Simon “Ghost” Riley.”

It corrects, before he can reprimand him. Shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly,—but with no malice or venom towards himself.

“Good boy. And don’t ye ever forget it”, Soap says, before simply turning his attention back to his food.

Ghost still pink, practically glowing at this point, with their pale skin not doing them any favors. They rub the back of their neck, before doing the same, trying to scarf it down as fast as possible. So it can excuse itself from the table,—as soon as possible.

…

The rest of day was spent in more bliss than ever before.

The couple’s bond having been forever strengthened and deepened,—from a seemingly ordinary weekend.

No longer would Simon harbor doubts about Johnny’s love for him. No longer would Ghost be afraid of being vulnerable or opening up around him.

It’s last reinforced concrete wall had been blown to smithereens, to hell and back, and here he was exposed in all his glorious beauty…

Soap be damned if he wouldn’t protect them with all he’s damn well got.

He’d be his life preserver when lost in the deep ocean and crashing waves of their own mind, own psyche. Be there for it when and wherever possible, drop everything, just to give him a mere pint of comfort. He could care less about them venting to him,—they could include all the specifics and gory details, and he wouldn’t even flinch. Simon would have his full attention, like he’s in debrief. Offering solace when and where he can,—in between listening like a dog with it’s ears perked up, at a noise that had caught it’s attention.

He’d watch it’s six,—always. Providing cover fire,—for their sake and their sake only,—he likes to make it’s job as easy as possible after all. Ghost’s own personal one-man clean up crew, aiming to save them from the exhaustion or stress. He’d butcher every last fucking tango, shadow,—every person who dare lay a finger on them. Johnny’d take a bullet through the head again,—just to save Simon and have the satisfaction of knowing he’d be okay,—that they would make it out alive at least.

He’d give his life up for him.

And Johnny damn well knows they would do the same, and then some. Possessiveness being one hell of a trait of it’s.

But now, there was no more walking on eggshells around him.

No more fear of crossing lines or boundaries. The two now harmonious in their radiant love.

~Fin.~

SOFTIE/SHY GHOST MY BELOVED

SOAP BEING THE BEST AT TAKING CARE OF HIS MANS MY BELOVED

I AM A PROUD SIMP OF THE WHOLE SOULMATES OR CHEESY ASS STAR CROSSED LOVERS TROPE SUE ME, I EAT THAT SHIT UPPP

I want to thank everyone for their support and stuff on this! I hope you’ve all enjoyed it, because I’ve certainly enjoyed writing it!! :

[the-illiterate-pirate]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for some of the last people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals, followers and all the wonderful people on here! happy new year and all the best :)

HEY..,, i wanted to send this chain message cuz u do seem rlly awesome,,

HII LUC ILYYY

WAH TY... UR PRETTY AWESOME TOO!!!

1, Ok I love my kitty Dexter!! He means the world to me. Even when he tries to eat my cables and throws his dish water everywhere

The face of a criminal

2, MUSIC!!! Music makes me so happy. Without it I'd rather die

3, SEA ANIMALS!!! SPECIFICALLY OCTOPI AND OTHER CEPHALOPODS!!! Except pufferfish.......

4, is it wrong to add my F/os... They make me happy. I guess it's more acceptable then putting "sleep" on here

5, last and not least Wasteland!!! I've been developing the story and world since I was like ten! I love it sm. I hope one day I can share the story with u all

[satorisoup]

wanna be so straight forward w/ u bc ur acc is so cute and under normal circumstances u would be an immediate follow but the post explaining why u type the way u do comes off as very fetishizy... i rlly doubt this is ur intention but the way u type just seems rlly strange considering ur age and then the reason why being put as smthing romantic just seems rlly iffy 😥 no hate just kinda wanted to let u know so its smthing u can keep in mind

hi hi, nonnie !! ah, thank you for bringing this to my attention !! i appreciate you explaining how you’re viewpoint is, it helps me to give you a response that might explain things for you !! (˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)

first, i want to thank you for the sweet compliments of my bloggie !! im soso happy & i appreciate your sweet words !! THANK YOU TEEHEE !! <3

my blog is completely sfw, meaning there is absolutely no smut or suggestive things on this blog, in my rambles, or in my writing !! so yes , you are right ehe, it’s not my intention !! ( っ˕‹̥̥̥ )

fetishism / fetishization refers to things that are sexual, or the intent of making something a “ turn on ” or finding something sexually pleasurable. this is something that is not at all involved in the way i type / the way im intending when i type !!

in my original post about this linked here !! 🍓 & also the other ask i got about this linked here !! 🍰 i explained things about the possibility of age regression (?) or simply wanting to let out my inner child (?) which i am still figuring out, and how typing with quirks/shortening words makes me feel more comfortable & really, its fun !! that is all !! after that, in order to distract myself after revealing something that was quite personal to me and made me nervous, i talked about my f/os !!

the reason i did is simply because, they make me feel comfortable !! it’s not really too much of a romantic intent, but more over me wanting to feel safe, comforted & cared for expressing myself by them !! like me wanting to be held closely/rocked to sleep, holding fingers or hands, or wanting to do a fashion show !! fashion shows are so fun !! >//<

i think what you might be referring to is a ddlg dynamic, ( which would also involve me using the term daddy which i do not do ) which is not at all my personal intended sense !! its me wanting to feel safe and happy with myself !! <3

i also mentioned this but, i actually dont type like that all the time !! the times i do is mostly when im talking to my mutuals !! this is because my mutuals have shown a respect and understanding towards me, and i want them to know i appreciate them !! its something that shows them “ i feel relaxed and comfortable with you, so i want to express myself with you !! ” its my special way of showing im happy & being me !! ^_^

my blog is a safe space for me, so i like to express myself in this way, and also while talking about my f/o’s !!

even when talking in real life, i sometimes shorten my words like that ehe !! so it’s also partly portraying the way i talk !! the main ones ill say are “ n’ . . . “ realsies ” . . . and “ sho ” !!

my blog is about spreading kindness and positivity, always !! no matter what, i always want to show others that i can be a safe space !! i love making friends and showing that i truly care ehe !! :>

thank you for bringing this to my attention nonnie !! i appreciate you sharing your viewpoint, and i hope i was able to clear some things up for you my love !! (つω`｡) if any of this makes you uncomfortable, please do feel free to block me so you aren’t exposed to something that makes you feel bad !! <3 i wouldn’t ever want to make you feel that way !! :<

with all of that said, i hope you have the bestest of days nonnie !! mwuah, mwuah !! (���ˊᵕˋ)੭ 🍓

my typing quirks are listed here, for better understanding !! ◝( ´ᗜ` )◜ it’s mostly just words that are abbreviated !!

m’ = my / i’m

n’ = and

sho = so ( like “ shooo cute !! ” )

ehe/hehe/teehee = laughing

tha/da = the

dis = this

fink/fank = think/thank

yous = you

mwe/ma = me/my

ouh = oh ( just another way of saying oh, but more of a dramatic effect )

[imherongraystairstrash]

I think I speak on behalf of the fandom when I say we need a fic of jesse learning to shave (cause Tatiana sure as hell prob didn’t care, so maybe he just did it some rlly dumb way until Gideon teaches him AND ITS A UNCLE NEPHEW BONDING MOMENT). also I absolutely adore your writing ❤️

Why, thank you so very much! I'm sorry for taking so long to write it, but I loved this prompt! Once I started writing it, I was able to finish it in one sitting! I had to look up how to shave a beard though loll

I hope you enjoy it!

There's a first for everything

Characters: Jesse, Sophie and Gideon

Jesse didn’t know how to feel about living with his Uncle Gideon and Aunt Sophie. Before living with them, Jesse had only had a single interaction with Gideon, which is one more than he had with Sophie. If he had had any others, he didn’t remember. 

His Aunt Cecily, for example, had held him for a brief period of time when he was a baby at Will and Tessa’s wedding—how strange that he attended Lucie’s parents' wedding when he was a baby, considering she was his… well, Jesse didn’t exactly know what they were to each other yet; they hadn’t really had time to discuss it—something he has no recollection of. 

It was strange living in their house. He saw a few pictures of Sophie and Gideon’s children in the parlor when they were young. There was a portrait of Barbara Lightwood, the cousin he never had the opportunity to meet. He looked at her, eyes filled with the promise that she’d do incredible things. 

“She used to ask about you, you know?”

Jesse had startled, turning to find Sophie’s film frame by the door. She quietly walked over to him, so that she stood beside him, gazing at the portrait of her oldest daughter. There was a deep sadness in her eyes that Jesse could observe before he found out she’d lost a daughter. Though now, he could see a hint of resignation in her expression, an undertone of acceptance. As if she knew that this was the course of life.

“Did she really?”

“Oh, yes. ‘Mama, can cousin Jesse come to my birthday?’ ‘couldn’t we adopt cousin Jesse?’ ‘what is cousin Jesse’s favorite color?’” Sophie smiled a little. “She would fry my brain with questions about you. Sometimes Gideon would joke that she loved you more than she did anyone else.”

Jesse looked at the portrait more meaningfully. Who was this girl who had longed to meet him? How is it fair that she never got to? That he never knew anything about her? It felt so wrong to him, so painfully cruel.

“If I had known someone had liked me so, perhaps I would have made more of an effort to escape.”

He could see Sophie turn to look at him through his peripheral vision, though he glued his eyes to the portrait, not wanting to look at her. 

“We all loved you, Jesse. Gideon and Gabriel were desperate to meet you when you were born. We wanted nothing more than to take you with us the first time we met you and every other time we caught even just a glimpse of you.”

Jesse managed to peel his eyes off of the portrait because he didn’t want to seem rude, especially after Sophie and Gideon had insisted on him staying in their home. He offered her a half smile.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For caring.”

Sophie’s eyes softened considerably. 

And though they had never met properly before a couple of days prior, after that moment, Sophie and Jesse had shared a mutual affection for one another that only grew each day.

Is this what it’s like to have a mother? Jesse thought. Is a mother supposed to be someone who makes me happy just by walking into the room? Someone to what to tell your troubles to? Though Jesse hasn’t done it, he felt an urge to do so. And he has a feeling that if he did, Sophie would listen and offer advice that would most likely make him think of course! but at the same time, not feel foolish for not having thought of it before.

However, Jesse felt conflicted about how to act around Gideon. He’d never had a father, nor any sort of significant male figure present in his life for that matter. He had had a mother, however cruel she may have been. But he didn’t have the slightest idea on how men treated each other. He didn’t know how to talk to him.

Jesse looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He had to shave like he did every morning. He got the bar of soap and put some of the suds on his cheek. He got a pocket knife and began the chore that was shaving. The only good thing about being a ghost had been that he didn’t have to shave every morning.

“Jesse?” He heard someone call. He startled, causing the blade of the knife to slip, making a cut on his cheek. He flinched and washed off the soap that was making his cut sting. Thankfully the knife was blunt enough that the cut was very shallow.

“Yes?” He asked.

Jesse saw Gideon outside the bathroom door, that he had left slightly ajar. 

“We wanted to know if you wished to—are you all right?”

Jesse nodded.

“You’re bleeding,” Gideon said. His eyes caught sight of the knife in Jesse’s hand and his eyes widened.

“Oh right, yes I was just, having trouble erm, shaving.”

Gideon’s horrified expression turned into one of confusion. “Shaving?”

Now Jesse was confused. Surely Gideon shaved, did he not? Otherwise wouldn’t he have a beard?

“Erm, yes. Shaving.”

“With a knife?”

Jesse looked down at his knife. “With what else?”

Gideon’s mouth opened slightly, as if appalled and then, after a beat, closed. 

“I shall be right back.” He said. “Just, please put away that knife and stay here.”

Jesse furrowed his eyebrows but did as he was told.

Sure enough, Gideon came back after a short while with a box in his hand. He placed it on the bathroom countertop and pulled out a strange looking stick of some sort.

“This is a razor.” Gideon explained. 

…

“There you go,” Gideon said and Jesse ran the razor down his cheek.

He was a quick learner. Gideon only had to explain how to shave once, and it was enough for Jesse to understand. Save a couple of times where he almost shaved upwards, Jesse shaved flawlessly, not cutting himself once. Well, save the cut with the pocketknife.

Gideon couldn’t believe Jesse had even managed to shave with the dull blade. 

“Make sure to rinse it off a little,” Gideon said.

Jesse did as he was told. “I can’t believe this contraption exists.” He said. “And that I didn’t know about it.”

Gideon would have laughed if it didn’t make him incredibly sad. How could Tatiana not think to teach her son about shaving? She’d seen her brothers do it plenty of times. 

Or perhaps it wasn’t that, if not the fact that she didn’t let them help her in raising Jesse. He watched the slight grin on Jesse's face as he shaved with the razor and wondered what other things he didn’t know how to do because nobody had ever taught him. Gideon was almost sure Jesse didn’t know how to tie a tie.

He knew Jesse felt uneasy around him and Gabriel. It took him back many years ago, when he had first met Sophie. How her breath had quickened those first couple of training sessions when he came too close, or how her eyes were constantly darting between himself and Gabriel. It broke his heart then and it broke his heart now when he saw Jesse act similarly, replacing fear with uncertainty. 

“Now do I just wash it off, Uncle Gideon?” 

Gideon looked up. “Yes, that should be it. That was an extremely good first attempt, Jess.”

Jesse looked surprised at the nickname. Gideon hadn't intended on calling him that, it had just slipped out of him. Before he could feel regret however, he saw that Jesse was looking at him with wonder and a slight smile playing on the corners of his lips. 

Gideon smiled back. 

Sophie and Cecily would comment on the fact that most of the Lightwood men shared what they called the Lightwood smile; Gideon, Gabriel and Thomas all shared the same smile: a slight upturn of the corners of their lips, almost imperceptible if one wasn’t familiar with it. It was subtle.

Gideon had never seen it until he saw Jesse smile and it reminded him of Gabriel, years ago, when they were still boys. At the same time, he thought of Thomas, because that was his son’s smile as well.

Gideon had never felt more connected to Jesse than he had at that moment. He was grateful he was finally able to have a meaningful relationship with his nephew and hoped that he could teach him the things his father never could.

...

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[russilton]

Is there a reason why no popular britcedes blogs share or talk about storm's awesome work for fools gold? I feel like the story is a monumental part of our fandom and it saddens to see that no one seems to care 😣

Storms work is beautiful, and I hope they see this since I know we are mutuals, storm your work is incredible and it always brings me such joy to see it. I cannot wait to commission them myself.

However, while I can’t, and thus wont, discuss why other people haven’t shared that art. I know why I haven’t. Because I don’t like Fools gold. I have read it, I was hurt by it, and I still carry personal feelings about that.

Readmore since I’m sure some rlly won’t be in the mood for my grumbling on the dash

I take offense to your implication no one cares. It is because I care so profoundly I chose not to share that work. I sat quietly with myself after seeing the art and had to personally discuss my desire to support britcedes art with the genuine worry that my endorsement would make more people go through the grief I went through.

It felt like an insult to reblog art not for me with an asterisk of my opinion on the story. An opinion no one asked for and I am not owed the right to share, and thus, silence was the kindest choice available.

I create the things I do because it brings me joy to see Lewis and George together. Loving each other. Fools gold has every right to exist but that doesn’t mean I have to love it, Anon.

I would think it would be clear the way I’ve discussed my affection for them over and over in poetry and prose might indicate why fools gold isn’t a story written for me. Someone who finds the most joy in the stories where they work to earn each others trust and love and that love is returned without betrayal. And certainly, my love is earned, not dictated by guilt tripping Anons.

It is with restraint I reply politely here, not with the profanity and insults that roll in my gut. Because sometimes it is best we keep our feelings to ourselves, especially someone in the position like I am, with people who look to me for Britcedes content. My dislikes are not more important than someone else’s right to share. But they do dictate how I curate my blog. I’m a big boy who lets other people play the way they want to play.

I got another ask this morning about this, and I have been writing a long and very personal response as to my feelings around FG, that you can read when I feel it is at a point I am happy that is accurately expresses my point.

[briarrosescurse]

Good day, how have you been lately?

(Long text, skip if overwhelmed)

Tbh, your art isn't something I could give any critique of—coming from the perspective I write, I don't really know much of your art journey, so I don't have the right to critique or analysis you in full.

Don't mistake, your art has a distinct style that is impossible to replicate (exclude stealing and tracing, not respected tho), you developed a strong sense of anatomy that I envy, and you're beloved by your mutuals/friends for your upbeat attitude and chaotic, fun-loving nature. Though, I do notice that you are envied and admired for your art, primarily. From what I see, however, your art is only part of your charm. Your characters, drawn or not, are possess personalities and designs that create a diversity acquired by your own view. From someone sheltered and sociable to someone aware yet chaotic, brief description can easily make the concept of your characters clear. Then, there is you, the person that makes these characters possible. From one of your responses, you said that journey and growth are some of the major aspects you often share with the characters you seen yourself the most in. That, is simply an important character essential for you express wonderfully. I admit, I got carried away when I wrote this, so much of this is disorganized.

I probably just took up a lot of your time by sending this, but the thing I wanted you to know the most is that, you are someone incredible for simply being you.

I hope your day goes well.

hello, anon!! first of all, i hope you've had a great day! i wished i could've replied immediately when i saw this, but i wanted to give you a proper answer to this ask, because i honestly felt so touched reading this 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

IM JUST. honestly when i first saw this, my heart felt SO warm and i was at a total loss of words, because this was so out of the blue but moreso appreciated??? this is really the most sweetest ask i've ever received from anyone and honestly, i know i will always fondly look back it 🥺 i never really would've imagined that someone would view my work and myself like this, but hearing this genuinely made me SO happy and has to be the highlight of my week !!!

i can tell that just by the fact you took your time for this, you put your thoughts into this and you sounded so polite, that you're a really thoughtful and kind person, anon 😭😭 i have to thank you !!! never change in that aspect, it's a genuine treasure of a trait to have 🥺💗

it feels so rewarding to hear how you perceive my artwork, my ocs and myself included, it's genuinely so sweet of you and i rlly can't thank you enough 😭💘 i'm glad i can share my journey here and that you and other people find it fun to witness!! i hope this can go on for a while longer and i hope to share more with everyone whenever i can 🥺 (ofc the... stealing/tracing incidents are very unlucky but !! i won't let myself be stopped by that !!)

thank you again, anon, i wish you ALL the best!!! 💘💘💘

[kurtanaaa]

hey guys.

so ive been thinking a lot lately about how busy ive been and how little ive been able to be on tumblr and how much of my time it takes when i do bother to look at it. at this point, its become more of a chore to look at my dash than something fun - not because the content isnt fantastic, but because i feel like i have to, even though i have other things i need to be doing. also, my mental state is deteriorating rapidly and i need fewer focus points at the moment.

so after a lot of deliberation, i think im gonna be leaving tumble for. a good while. not forever, but a solid chunk of time. maybe ill figure out how to manage my time at uni better and ill feel stable enough to enjoy it here again. but in the event that i dont come back for a long time, i want u guys to know that you have all brought me so much joy. this account and this fanbase have made me so incredibly happy and given me a place to talk about something that i really enjoyed with people i just think are the greatest. seriously, the amount that i chatter about my "glee mutuals" to my girlfriend is insane. you all mean a lot to me and im so grateful for all of you. i know i havent been interacting a whole lot in the past little while, but i miss it so much and you all really made a stupid idiot bitch rlly happy

i loved running this account and i still love glee, so its entirely possible that ill still post fic or come poking around to check in on you guys. but for now, this platform just feels like a chore and i dont want to associate you guys with that.

pls, if you have like... snapchat or instagram or something and ur a mutual/mutual in law who has chatted with me in the past, and would be comfortable sharing, please please please message me because i value your friendships so much. i really really do. i wish i knew you all in person so we could chatter about things together and so i could give you all such big hugs.

u guys are wonderful people. you all deserve so much, and i hope that while i was here i was able to contribute to the safe space and happiness that you all gave to me.

sorry im being overly dramatic about this u guys just mean a lot to me lol ok ily guys pls keep doing the things that make you happy. love, rae rae 💓💗💕💘💕💓💘💖💗💖💓💘💓

[deerixiie]

APPRECIATION POST!!

june 29th, or a little more that 6 months ago i posted my first fic. that was honestly the best decision of my life because tho tumblr is a hellsite it’s a hellsite that got me through a hellish year. i just want to come out and express my extreme gratitude for all of the people who have gotten me through 2020.

my followers. i remember when i first hit 100 and i was so excited bc 100 ppl in the world actually appreciated my writing enough to follow me...and then more of you guys started coming and sent sweet asks and suddenly i felt so loved 🥺 i didn’t expect to gain the following i did on this hellsite but i did and i love you guys so much :( thank u so much for being here through it all and making this year so much better!!

character anons/other anons; i know i don’t have much and not all of u are active but you!!! you guys are the bestest people on earth!!! shoyo, haji, yams, and all my noya anons,,, i love u guys sm. seeing you in my inbox made me so happy and i loved interacting w you 🥺💗 i hope you guys have an amazing new year and i hope you can talk more soon!! same goes for my other anons, 💜, 🍁, iara, and all the other anons that have send me asks, i love you guys so much!! getting anons and asks was something that made me feel so appreciated and important and seeing your asks always made my day!! ily guys <3

@sa-suga, @neonghxst, @sanso, @starrysamu, @stelleum, @myelocin, and a whole bunch of others writers; you are the most amazing people on the planet. writing on a site like this that gives little to no appreciation is so amazing of you :( your fics have made me smile, laugh, cry, and even grow as a person and i’m so grateful for that! bc of u i was able to distract myself from all the crappy things that happened this year. ily guys so much!

and now, my mutuals!!

@hajiimes; cola i will always always start with you. my closest friend, writing genius, someone i can bounce ideas off of, ask for help, watch movies with, voice call for hours with, and simp over characters with. getting close with you was one of the best things of this year and i really appreciate you for it. its really refreshing to have such a close friend i can really turn to and talk to about stuff that’s bothering me and i know i do it a lot and i’m a terrible friend sometimes but you’re always there for me :( and yeah we tease each other a lot and you’re honestly so annoying sometimes but yeah it’s fun and i love you so <3 STOP MAKING BREAKUP PLAYLISTS OKAY IM SORRY

@sugakuns + @suikazura + @kageyuji + @miyasangel + @giorvanna + @sophiawithstars + @hajiimes; i literally could not have gotten through 2020 without dinonet. it’s the first discord server and probably only discord server that i’ve really felt at home in because you all are so accepting and sweet. your support and love and kindness have gotten me past this year. i’ve been able to laugh and scream and vent and word vomit and be myself because of you all and i’m so appreciative of that. i cant wait for an entire new year with you all, ilysm!

@mehreya; you changed your url and i freaked tf out but ANYWAYS HEYYY~ rae i literally. i literally love you so much like. where would i be without you? you’re so welcoming and comforting and i love you so much :( if there’s anyone i’d share a deformed braincell with, it’s with you!! i feel like i can relate to you?? so much?? i literally keysmash in your inbox sending like 12 messages and i don’t have to worry about you getting upset because you do the same thing right back. we share really similar interests and you’re so compassionate and sweet and ugh i’m gna cry ily

@suikazura; bae i. how do i even say this. you’re literally the kindest, sexiest, funniest, loveliest person i’ve ever met. when i had a really bad day and broke down you were there to hype me up and tell me such wonderful things that i still think about all the time. you wrote a poem comparing me to the sun. ME?? THE SUN?? sui i don’t even know where to go with this ive never had someone do that for me and you doing that just makes me tear up and i’m tearing up writing this- and i love your humor so much despite the fact that it haunts me to this day and your art is so pretty and i could look at it for hours. like man i can’t believe someone like you exists i don’t deserve you at ALL. ilysm bubs

@cavalree; AZZIE WE HAVENT EVEN TALKED THAT MUCH BUT OUR CONVERSATION YESTERDAY WAS >>> THIS IS ME SAYING WE SHOULD TALK MORE WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON

@fairyoomi + @luvromis + @rilacry; we’ve been moots for So Long but i have no idea what to talk about w u so i get intimidated and don’t talk :( ily guys so much though, you’re really sweet and kind and your humor is literally top tier. this is so weird to say but reading ur self-ship posts makes me so happy bc i feel like i can be open about my self-ship too,, it rlly comforts me and makes me feel loved hehe. i miss talking to u guys even though it was barely anything and i rlly hope 2021 is the year we get closer!!

@sophiashortcake + @star-puff + @kurooskult; we’ve recently become mutuals but i love your vibes!! i really hope i get to interact with you more next year so we can become closer <3

@bunx; BIG SIS!! literally i feel so bad for not talking to u because you’re literally the blueprint :( i just don’t know what to talk about and then get all freaked out XBSKSJD i’ve stared at your disc so many times debating what to say cbsjs but anyway thank you so much for being here from the beginning! i know for a fact ill wouldnt be where i am today w/out u 🥺 ilysm bubs

other moots that made this year so much more beautiful i want to get closer too!: @haikoo, @4fterh0urs, @run-004, @sugasugawarau, @s4ijoh, @gg9183, @baeshijima 🥺💗💗, @kozu-mei , @kaguol ily all so so much, you all are such amazing ppl and i hope we get to talk more!!

[anemo-writes]

hi anemo! may I request a matchup if they’re still open? i’m bi so I don’t mind whether they’re a boy or a girl, but I lean more towards boys in terms of preference if that matters !!

i tend to be jokingly flirty with people i’m close to and just verbally affectionate in general ?? like my mutuals have told me my pick up lines r rlly smooth LMAO, i also enjoy calling ppl by nicknames such as bestie or bae n it’s a habit to use it every other sentence 😕🤞 i’d say pretty confident as well n adore complimenting ppl like it makes me rlly happy for some reason 😧

i’m overly polite when first meeting ppl but i love joking around n being dumb after a while and literally don’t know how to interact with many ppl outside of my friend group like im so sorry if u had to talk to me like,, ever 🙁 /hj

i’m so sorry if the descriptions r rlly vague ?? i genuinely don’t know how to describe myself but i hope this’ll do !! pls take ur time with requests by the way anemo !! i love ur work sm n hope u’re doing well <33

yep, yep! they’re still open— and thank you so much 🥺 i hope you enjoy your matchup hehe<3 literally why is tumblr blocking my headers though >:(

I match you with...

Bennett!

Flirting is new to Bennett—never in his life has he thought someone would want to be around him, much less flirt with him! Expect a really blushy Bennett; he tends to blush very easily, so anything you say will fluster him haha~ He absolutely adores your pick-up lines as well, and when he’s confident enough, he’ll start to use some on you as well—they’re probably not as good as yours but he’s trying, and you gotta give him credit for that! The two of you like to mess around a lot (this includes embarking on random adventures or literally just a random conversation) until both of you are laughing or flustered messes :’) He doesn’t mind your frequent use of nicknames either and finds them quite funny, actually—the two of you are just around each other so often that he just,, picks it up—next thing you know, he’ll be calling his dads “bestie” and “bae” and well—isn’t that quite a sight to see?

Praise is so, so important to Bennett, and that works extremely well with your love of complimenting people and being verbally affectionate! He tends to get a bit insecure sometimes when his luck is especially bad, but hearing your words of affirmation (I’d like to think that it’s one of his main love languages) really helps him get through it—I’d like to think that it benefits the both of you :) teamwork makes the dreamwork amright Communication is big factor between the two of you (you just,, seem like an extrovert or an ambivert, please forgive me if I’m wrong though T-T); he’s happy to listen, but he’ll also do his fair share of talking as well! And don’t worry about not being able to interact with people outside of your friend group, Bennett has got you covered! Despite his bad luck, people find themselves drawn to his happy-go-lucky and warm demeanor, and it makes conversing with people a lot easier when a literal ball of sunshine is talking and laughing along side you—you’ll feel your politeness melt slowly away and find it much more comfortable to talk with them :)

[astralaffairs]

put a ring on it 03 | philip hamilton

title: put a ring on it

pairing: philip hamilton x reader

words: 11k 🤪

warnings: rlly none! hectic families, stupid pet names, uncomfy emotions, compromising positions. also dont any of u dare get as close to another human as is depicted here anytime soon. pls flatten the curve. social distancing is cool i swear.

a/n: lmao remember on part 2 when i said i wouldn’t take as long to update this time? here we are, almost exactly a year later, even tho i wrote 8k words of this in the past couple days. enjoy!!! better late than never ig.

desc: You’ve never liked Philip Hamilton, and have always assumed the feeling has been mutual. But when you’re roped into pretending to be his girlfriend for a family reunion, you feel all your truths beginning to melt away, and find them instead taking form in his smile.

tags: @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @tf2germanvillain @ela-ena @abundant-stars @heytheredee-lilah @abovethyfold - lmk if you want to be added; sorry if i missed anyone!!

Philip had brought you coffee without you asking.

It was mid-morning after your shower; the carpet of Philip's room was soft under your feet as you grabbed your phone off the marble countertop of his sink, just enjoying the peaceful silence. You scrolled briefly through your texts, smiling as you declined an offer for a manufactured emergency from Patsy (not before you seriously considered it, though). You slid it into your back pocket before padding down the stairs to find wherever Philip had gotten off to.

And thus, you were met with the distinctly strong smell of coffee.

Your footsteps stalled only a moment. You furrowed your brow; the corners of your lips quirked as you continued into his kitchen. You found him sitting at the end of the table opposite where you stood, glasses pushed down the bridge of his nose, reading a newspaper and sipping coffee from a paper cup. Your smile grew as he didn't even realize you were there; you leaned forward, resting on the chair nearest you as you bit your lip.

"Hey." Your voice was soft as he looked up, giving you a soft smile as he met your eyes.

"Morning, princess," he hummed, taking another sip from his cup as he eyed you, his eyes crinkling at the corners with his smile. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty well." Your yawn came through in your voice despite your words, and he nodded, averting his eyes back to his paper. Neither of you dared mention how you'd woken up tangled in each other, your legs intertwined with his, hands in his hair and with his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, your head against his bare chest. Instead, you broke the silence with, "So, you gonna share any of that coffee with me, Hamilton? Or were you just gonna ignore these bags under my eyes?"

You pointed to yourself with mock annoyance, and he chuckled, putting down the newspaper. "What, you don't think I picked up anything for my girlfriend?" He raised an eyebrow, and you rolled your eyes, slumping into the seat opposite him.

"Oh yeah? What'd you get me?" Your tone was flat as you pinned him with a skeptical stare. He only grinned, leaning back and grabbing another paper cup from the counter behind him. You raised your eyebrows, eyes widening in the slightest. It probably shouldn't have come as a shock to you, but you couldn't help your surprise at the gesture.

He chuckled at your expression. "I can't believe you'd underestimate me like this." He put a hand on his heart with a mock pout as he passed the coffee across the table to you, and you took a seat, rolling your eyes.

"What's the catch?" you asked dryly.

"Does there have to be a catch?"

"Last time you brought me coffee I ended up here." You raised your eyebrows, looking at him knowingly, and he chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"Alright, I get it. Point made." He grinned as he reached again behind him, grabbing a small brown bag and holding it out to you by its rolled opening. "But I brought you a croissant to make up for it."

Your eyebrows shot up when you saw the other bag, eyes widening in the least. "Coffee and food? Now there's definitely something up." You shot him a questioning look, and his obvious self-content didn't waver.

"Think of it as a "thank you'." Your skepticism far from dissipated, but something in the soft smile he wore made you take the bag from him with no further questions, a soft smile of your own gracing your lips.

You breathed in the warm, sweet air from the bag as you opened it, sighing at the smell of the croissant. As you broke a piece of it off, you looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. "So anyway, where's your family? House seems eerily empty."

He chuckled, raking a hand through his loose curls. "Yeah, it is. My siblings are all still at school for the next couple hours, and Mom and Pops are out getting breakfast with the Lafayettes. Said something about wanting to 'give the happy couple some time to themselves'."

You rolled your eyes. "So no one else is home?"

"So we're finally alone." He wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, and you scoffed.

"Just 'cause you brought me a croissant doesn't mean I'm about to jump your bones, Hamilton. Don't get your hopes up," you informed him dryly, but his amused grin didn't waver.

"Since we have the day free, though," he continued just as brightly, ignoring your unimpressed expression, "I figured I'd show you around the town a little, take you a few of the places I used to go."

You raised a brow. "Oh, yeah? I'm getting the grand tour?" A smile had at that point worked it's way back into your expression, sitting slightly lopsided as it played at your lips, though you tried to contain it. "Where are you gonna take me, Hamilton?"

His grin grew at your words, taking another sip of his coffee to hide his self-content. "You'll see."

-----------------------------------

"Where are we going?" you groaned as he tugged you around another corner in the quaint downtown of his small city. His grin never faltered; he seemed very much to have a set agenda. There were people and places he wanted to see. Seeing as this was his family reunion weekend, you couldn't have blamed him.

"C'mon, we're on the block now," he assured you, pulling you along in his haste to find the little storefront, wondering if it had yet changed the aging display in its frosted glass windows. You scoffed audibly, and he let out a little laugh. "What, don't believe me?"

"You'll forgive me for not trusting the eighth time you've told me we were almost there," you said dryly, letting him pull you along regardless. He shot you a look over his shoulder.

"No need to exaggerate, princess."

"Don't think I haven't been counting, Hamilton," you shot back, giving him a pointed look, and he rolled his eyes.

"Just come on."

You (grudgingly) allowed him to drag you along three more blocks, unsure what had overtaken you -- your feet were getting sore, your stomach was starting to cramp (you needed to work out more), and you really just wanted to sit down. Yet, something about how earnestly excited Philip was managed to keep you going, just a few more yards, just a few more yards. You tried to ignore the lopsided grin thrown over his shoulder and the teasing lilt to his voice that met your complaints.

"Here we are." He skidded to a halt in front of three stairs, a stone stoop, leading up to a glass door. You raised an eyebrow, turned your gaze to him.

"Where, exactly?"

His smile grew, and he nodded forward. "See for yourself."

You rolled your eyes as you followed him up, and he reached for the handle just before you, holding it open. You didn't acknowledge the action, just continued forward into the small shop.

It was an adorable space, dimly lit and colorful. Leafy plants spilled over from pots above the windows, contrasting with the bright red window frames on the sunny morning, interspersed with framed photos and paintings packed tightly together on the limited wall space. Soft guitar music drifted through under the buzz of chattering customers who'd arrived for their morning coffee. You could smell the coffee brewing behind the counter, the scent mixing with the sweeter one wafting from the ovens behind a swinging door.

"C'mon." You yelped in surprise as Philip's arm found its way around your waist, and he shot you an amused glance. You let him lead you forward, though, fighting the heat that began to rise in the back of your neck.

You neared the back of the store together, your gaze still wandering around the adorable coffee shop as you walked, and as the woman behind the counter caught sight of you, her eyes lit up in recognition.

"Philip!" She dropped the rag she'd been wiping her hands with onto the counter, rushing out from behind it to greet him as his arm came back around from your waist, instead pulling her into a tight embrace. You sighed internally as his warmth left your side.

"Hey, Aunt Maria," he said, grinning as he pulled back from the hug. "How've you been?"

"Worse without you," she scolded, whacking his chest lightly. "It's been what, four years since you've been home? Felt like an eternity."

He laughed, eyes still shining as he spoke to her. "Yeah, it's been too long. I've just been so busy."

Maria scoffed and promptly turned her attention to you, clearly not caring for any excuses for Philip's absence. "And who is this?"

“I’m Y/N,” you started, your smile unsure. At this, Philip also turned his gaze back to where you stood, grin growing on his face. “His girlfriend.”

Her face lit up again at this, immediately pulling you into a bone-crushing embrace. "Oh, you're the pretty thing I've been hearing about from Philip's parents for so long? It's so great to meet you."

You laughed as she finally pulled away, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. "I guess that must be me, unless there's another woman, hm?" You raised an eyebrow at Philip, grinning, and he just rolled his eyes. "It's good to meet you too, though."

Philip rested a hand on Maria's shoulder as she released your forearms, an affectionate look in his eyes as he glanced down at her. "Aunt Maria's an old family friend, Y/N. Pops helped her out of a tough spot when I was younger, and we’ve forced her to stick around with us ever since."

She smiled, putting a hand on his as she looked over at you. "I owe the Hamiltons big. They really changed my life a while back, helped me get away from my ex-husband, start a new life on my own. Can't thank them enough, honestly."

Philip rolled his eyes at that, giving a dramatic huff. "You owe us nothing. You’re all we need."

"Then stop spending so much time in the city!" she lectured him, giving a shell of a glare, and he laughed.

"I'll keep it in mind."

She glanced back at the counter over her shoulder, where her employees were still diligently taking orders, making coffee. "Anyway, I've gotta get back to work, but can I get you two a cup of coffee? Donuts? Crêpes?"

Philip looked at you as he came back around, pulled you softly to his side with an arm around your waist and a raised eyebrow. You gave Maria a warm smile.

"Just a coffee would be great."

"Same for me, then," Philip added, and Maria winked at the two of you as she made her way back to the counter.

"Two coffees coming right up for the happy couple. Feel free to have a seat anywhere," she called to you over her shoulder, and you grinned.

"Wanna sit down?" Philip asked, and you pursed your lips, pinching the hand that was squeezing your waist. He yelped, withdrew his arm from you with a wince, and you nodded and gave an easy smile.

"Let's go by the window."

He rolled his eyes as he followed you. You slid comfortably into one of the smooth wooden seats, glancing out at the sunny morning before you, and he sat across, an eyebrow raised.

"So, what do you think of my hometown so far?"

You looked back at him wearing a soft, mischievous smile and cocked an eyebrow at him. "You really wanna know?"

He fixed his stare on yours, and your grin grew (though you tried to suppress it). "Yeah."

"It'd be better without you here."

He scoffed loudly at that, turning his head from where he had sat facing you, his grin near indistinguishable in his indignant expression, and you couldn't suppress your full-bodied laugh at his reaction.

"C'mon, really?" While he tried to maintain his scowl, turning back to you had his smile widening at your repressed giggles. He fixed a glare over his gaze as you tried to swallow your grin. "God damn, I ask you a legitimate question, and you can't resist ripping on me?"

"It was just too easy!" you defended, brushing your hair away from your face as you looked sheepishly back at where he sat, shaking his head. "Honestly, though?"

"I dunno, am I gonna get an honest answer?"

You knew very well his skeptical expression was well-earned, and you grinned, rolling your eyes as you defended yourself. "Yes!"

He shrugged, motioning to the space between you, a silent go-ahead. You sighed.

"It's really nice." You glanced around the coffee shop as you spoke, your eyes ultimately finding his again, though now a dreamy look was painted across your features. "It's... homey."

"'Homey'?" he repeated your answer with a breathy laugh, and you rolled your eyes, playfully shoving the arm he had resting on the table.

"See, this is why I don't take your questions seriously, Hamilton," you scowled, feeling your face begin to grow hot at his reaction. "Give you an answer and you just make fun of me."

He chuckled as he reached for your hands, still resting on the table as the heat did not subside from the back of your neck. He took them in his, enveloping them as he gave you a simper. "Aw, c'mon, I'm not trying to tease you." His simper turned to a mocking pout, and you scoffed, rolled your eyes.

"Oh, whatever, Hamilton." You didn't pull your hands out of his grasp, though, refusing out of sheer spite to meet his eyes.

"I'm not kidding!" he defended himself, and you could see out of the corner of your eye the grin return to his face, seemingly entertained by your reaction. You were a bit preoccupied, though, with inhibiting the blush from your cheeks as you couldn't seem to focus on anything other than, God, how warm his hands were. You were painstakingly aware of every time they shifted against yours.

"'M glad you feel at home in my old town." Your annoyed gaze was still fixed on the table before you as you heard him let out a sigh, dropping his face to break your line of vision. "Princess?"

"Don't call me that, Hamilton."

He deadpanned. "Y/N."

You met his eyes with an expectant look, and for a moment, you just held his stare, almost didn't notice when your breath caught as the corners of his lips quirked upward. You frowned.

His grin only grew at your adverse reaction, breath coming out in a puff of laughter. He shook his head, tongue in cheek. "Loosen up."

The way he squeezed your hands reminded you how close the proximity between the two of you was. You could feel your heart jump in your chest. When his thumb smoothed over your knuckle, you felt suddenly very self-conscious about how sweaty your hands were.

You took a deep breath, feeling unable to hold his gaze any longer, looking out the window beside you. Thankfully, Maria chose that exact moment to arrive with your drinks.

"Two black coffees, right up!" You froze when you met her beaming expression, flinching as you almost tried to yank your hands from Philip's, feeling like a deer in headlights. He squeezed your hands softly, his expression concerned at how panicked you looked. You plastered on a smile, reminding yourself as your face heated up that you were there as his girlfriend, this was supposed to be normal, it was expected. What made you uncomfortable was exactly how normal it felt.

"Thanks, Maria." You withdrew your hands with a smile to take your coffee from her. You ignored her raised eyebrow, her pleased half-smile.

"You sure there's nothing else I can get you?" The maternal look in her eyes turned playful as she folded her arms. "Anything else to drink? Some lunch?" Her eyes narrowed a fraction of an inch. "Some privacy?"

You choked on the long sip of coffee you'd been taking, trying to catch your breath as Philip just laughed. You set the mug down as you coughed into the back of your hand, trying to stifle it.

"I think this'll be all for now," he said, "We probably aren't gonna loiter too much longer, don't worry."

Maria gave him a warm smile, a smile you only caught a glimpse of as you emerged from your coughing fit. (You also caught a glimpse of Philip suppressing a laugh at you, and made a mental note to chew him out for it later on.)

"You know you could spend forever here and I wouldn't mind."

"I know." You couldn't help but notice that his smile in return didn't quite meet his eyes; something melancholy lay behind them as well.

As she pursed her lips, you thought her expression looked quite a bit like your mother's when you left for college, almost tearing up, but holding it together for you. "Well, let me know before you all leave," she said softly, "You know I don't see enough of you around here as is."

"I know. We'll see you tomorrow, though? At the reunion?"

"Wouldn't miss it." The quiet sadness in her eyes disappeared as quickly as it came, and she reached down to squeeze your shoulder affectionately. "Looking forward to seeing the both of you there." Her wink before she turned away was blatant. You couldn't help your soft smile.

------------------------------

"So, when do I get to meet the rest of your family?" He'd taken you out through the middle of town, refusing to let on to your destination. It was a nice day out, luckily for you, but you still weren't fond of having to reach all your destinations on foot -- if you'd wanted a walking tour, you'd have asked.

He shrugged, hands in his pockets as he walked alongside you down the sidewalk, appreciating the lush greenery that lined the streets, and your gaze rested on his faraway expression as you raised an eyebrow.

"Dunno. Whenever my siblings get home. Angie'll be coming in before they all get outta school, so she might even be there when we get back, but the rest of them have classes for a few more hours."

"'The rest of them'? How many siblings do you have, Hamilton?"

"Just six."

"Six?!" you repeated, eyes wide, and he just nodded.

"Yeah. The youngest is four, that's Eliza, and I'm the oldest."

"How old are the others?"

He pursed his lips, as though deep in thought, and you really couldn't imagine having to strain to remember a sibling's age. "There's William, at seven, then John, who's eleven, James is fifteen and Alex is seventeen -- they're the ones in high school right now -- and then there's Angelica, who's nineteen."

You couldn't help but let out a low whistle at that. "Sounds exhausting for your parents."

"Really. I was the easy child, and it was all downhill from there." He grinned, and you rolled your eyes.

"You were the easy child? Tell me why I find that hard to believe." Your challenging tone just made him shrug.

"Dunno, princess. I've just always been so responsible that my parents had an easy time with me."

"And at what point did you lose the responsibility trait?"

"I mean, when I found out I could pawn off all my responsibilities onto you..." He trailed off with a grin, laughing when he saw your glare. "Aw, c'mon, I'm just kidding."

"What, about being responsible? Or about pawning your responsibilities off on me?" You raised a skeptical eyebrow as he shrugged. "Because we both know it's not the latter."

"Hey, let's not forget that you're here because you didn't wanna take on a responsibility."

"A responsibility you pawned off on me!" You scoffed, and his amused smile only grew, hands stuffed in his pockets as you walked alongside him.

"Why must you be so focused on pointing fingers, Y/N?"

"I'm not pointing fingers, you just--"

"We're here." You skidded to a halt as he cut off your rant at it's beginning, too absorbed in your argument (despite how obviously he was baiting you) to have realized he stopped walking. You raised an eyebrow, turning to face exactly what he was looking at, and while he began walking in without a second thought, you paused a moment, taking it in.

What stood before you was the oldest building you'd seen so far in town, its structure essentially in ruins, ivy crawling up the eroding brick, moss running down it. The only thing that tipped you off to the fact that you weren't being lead to a remote location where no one could hear your screams was a small metal sign above a descending staircase, a single light above the path. By the time the full sight had processed, Philip had since reached the staircase and was watching your reaction with an eyebrow raised, a soft smile gracing his lips.

"You coming?"

You exhaled. "See, I'm not trying to make any accusations, but all I'm saying is that if I were to murder someone in this town, this would be the place for it."

You followed him, though, as he grinned at your hesitance, and what you found at the bottom of the staircase was far from what you'd expected. You entered behind Philip into a sleek but old-fashioned bar, somehow teetering on the line between an antiquated tavern and a nightclub. Your eyes were wide as you scanned the place, empty at the moment, save one person standing behind the bar, wiping down glasses. The chairs were up on the tables, the televisions were shut down -- you assumed Philip hadn't brought you there for drinks, but instead for the handsome stranger who had just caught Philip's eye with a growing grin.

"Philip Hamilton?" he called out the moment the door shut behind us, his disbelieving smile echoed in Philip's reaction. "Never thought I'd see the day. Thought you'd abandoned us all for city living by now."

Philip let out a huff of laughter as he reached the counter, pulling the man in for a hug over the bar. "Whatever, man. I don't wanna hear it." He pulled back with a skeptical look in his eye, holding him by the forearms. "It's been two years since I've been home, but I've never gone three damn months without seeing you since college."

"Touché. It's good to have you back." With that, though, the man's gaze flickered over to you, eyeing your form with an eyebrow raised, a small but triumphant smile. "But you've still managed to keep your lady from me ever since you and her got together. Afraid I was gonna steal her?"

"More afraid she'd meet my friends and immediately run for the hills," Philip snorted, causing the other man to shove him lightly from across the counter.

"Anyway, I take it you're Y/N?" He seemed to be ignoring Philip's jab at him in favor of redirecting the conversation from him.

"That'd be me," you said as you went to join Philip, smile wary and your hands tucked in your pockets.

When you reached the bar, he narrowed his eyes, leaning down to eye you skeptically. "Tell me, how much is Philip paying you? Hm?" Your eyebrows shot up, and he continued, "I mean, we both know he has the money to be battin' above his league, but I didn't think he'd be willing to fork over that much just for a weekend."

While his manner had you hesitant at first, his words made you laugh. If this was what Philip's friends were like, the weekend might go by quicker than you'd expected.

"This is actually pro bono," you sighed, raising your eyebrows as though you were confiding in him. "I've always been a bit of a philanthropist, so I took pity and decided to help out the less fortunate--" You gave Philip a pointed look, though he just rolled his eyes. His entertained smile betrayed his feigned annoyance. "--for a few days."

"You really are a saint."

"I consider myself more of a martyr." While his friend laughed, Philip raised an eyebrow at you, expression toeing the line between amused and exasperated. You extended your hand. "It's great to meet you, though, um..."

"Georges Lafayette," he supplied, shaking your hand. "I'm an old friend."

"Ahh, so that's you," you folded your arms, smile growing. You stole a glance to your right, and Philip was busy feigning shock that you'd actually listened to his friends-and-family crash course. When he met your gaze, you rolled your eyes. "Philip speaks fondly of you, regardless of how he may speak to you." There was a teasing lilt to the tail end of your sentence, and while Philip scoffed, Georges cracked a grin.

"Hope he's been doing me justice." He sent you a wink as he went back to wiping down the rims of the glasses that sat before him, pulling them from the dishwasher and shelving them. "Knowing him, I'm betting it's nothing compared to how he talks about you, though. Ever since you joined his office, it's been nonstop."

"Oh, really?" You raised an eyebrow at Philip, but he didn't meet your eyes as he took a seat next to you at the bar.

"You'd better bet. You've become something of a household name these past few years."

"Should that worry me?" you teased, electing to sit as well. You hopped up onto the barstool.

"Not this time." He chuckled, nudging Philip where he sat, leaning forward on the bar. "Worried me at the start of the whole thing. I figured he'd immediately fucked this up." He motioned between the two of you. "By the time you got together, I'd already found him three eligible rebounds."

"Aww, babe." You plastered on a teasingly contrived pout, turning to rest a hand on Philip's knee, meeting his unimpressed gaze. "Maybe if you hadn't spent three years pawning your responsibilities off on me, I would've been more receptive to your total lack of tact."

Georges laughed, and you grinned unabashedly as Philip let out a huff devoid of annoyance. "Oh, c'mon; let's not pretend I was the tactless one." The corner of his lips twitched as you raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"Really, now, be honest." You hadn't the slightest clue where this was going, and Philip looked increasingly satisfied with your expression. "You were the one always yelling at me for leaving early, chewing me out for showing up late, finding excuses to come talk to me--"

"We work together," you interjected, unimpressed. Your words didn't seem to hinder his monologue.

"Now that I think about it, is that why you always looked so agitated when Theo came around?" He raised an eyebrow, looking thoroughly pleased, and you ignored the heat creeping up the back of your neck. You chalked it up to annoyance. “I’ve gotta say, jealousy actually is a good look on you.”

"Whatever," you scoffed. "I had to come to talk to you about the projects I was working on because they were the ones you pawned off onto me. And you know Theo has been obnoxious since day one."

He laughed, disregarding your vexation. "I mean, yeah, but she brings me coffee."

You narrowed your eyes, genuinely in disbelief. "Is the fact that you're just using her for coffee supposed to make me feel better?"

"Of course." He shrugged, as though it was obvious, and you caught Georges's amused expression out of the corner of your eye. Philip winked. "You know I've only got eyes for you, princess." You groaned, turning away from him in your chair, not wanting to look at the satisfaction you caught dancing in his eyes. You didn't like how consoled you felt.

You turned to Georges, deadpan. "Has he always been this unbearable? Or did that develop after the manipulative streak kicked in?"

"In our Philip? What manipulative streak?" He furrowed his brow in contrived disbelief. The two men shared a look, their smiles mirroring one another. "But if you wanna know if he's always been this tactful, then for sure."

It appeared Georges had decided to take Philip's side on this one. You groaned internally. "Don't you start now!"

"Sorry, Y/N, Philip claimed my loyalty years ago. You're on your own."

You pinned the pair of them with an accusatory stare, a smile playing on your lips nonetheless. You didn't love that it was turned against you, but you couldn't help but find their rapport entertaining. "You two are insufferable, you know that?"

"We've heard." Georges shrugged.

"Usually from each other," Philip chimed in.

"Or your siblings." Georges glanced at Philip. Neither of them was addressing you anymore.

"Or your ladies," Philip shot back, "Usually your exes by the time we heard it."

"We were always a little hard of hearing, huh?"

"Always. Think we heard that one from Emilie, though." Philip raised his eyebrows, gaze playful. You could only assume that was one of Georges's exes. He huffed.

"You leave my wife outta this!" Indignant was the only word you could use to describe his expression, and Philip snickered as he ducked away from the rag Georges had tried to hit him with.

"You're still lucky she took you back after that."

"She loved me too much not to." He looked smug with that, but his voice had softened. "Anyway, it's your girl we're talking about this time, so you'd better tread carefully. Right, Y/N?" He looked over at you, an eyebrow raised, obviously expecting you to jump on the chance to tease Philip. You folded your arms.

"Oh, so now you're on my side?"

Philip grinned, obviously pleased with your response, whereas Georges groaned. "Hey, I'm tryna balance the scales back out, alright? Didn't wanna let Philip get too cocky, but it looks like you let that one happen anyway."

"Don't you blame me!" You jabbed your finger at him, eyes narrowed. "You took his side first; I didn't take his side at all!"

"Sure seems like you're on his side now." Georges raised his eyebrows at Philip, who looked positively smug.

"I'm against you now. This isn't about him."

He laughed. "Tough. Looks like your girl's already cutting you out, Pip."

Philip's face fell as he grumbled, "Don't call me--"

"You call him Pip?" You hoped your expression came off as endeared. Blatantly finding ways to antagonize him didn't seem like it would've fit your role. "That's adorable!"

"Y/N." His tone was warning. Your grin didn't falter.

"Oh, can I steal that?"

"All yours."

You let out a soft aww, a hand held to your heart, and put your other hand on Georges's forearm. "I can't thank you enough."

Philip stood with a huff, seemingly having had enough of you two. You raised an eyebrow -- were you leaving already? "I'm gonna run to the bathroom," he said, annoyed gaze never breaking from Georges's. "Don't cause too much trouble while I'm gone."

"I dunno, Pip; I was never the responsible one." Georges shrugged innocently, and Philip couldn't seem to help his amusement at his antics. "Do my best, though."

"Can't thank you enough," Philip mocked you to Georges as he turned, walking off toward the back.

Georges called after him, "You're welcome!"

Philip didn't respond, but Georges seemed more amused given that. He turned to you with a grin, leaning on the bar.

"So, Y/N." You raised an eyebrow. "I need to hear more about you; Philip's been holding out on us all these years. Took the entire family to even convince him to bring you home to meet us."

"Then I guess I shouldn't mention how long it took him to convince me to come here, huh?" The words were truer than he knew; however, he interpreted them very differently from the truth. You raised a playful eyebrow, and he laughed.

"That's tough."

"You asked."

"Sort of," he corrected you, brow furrowed, and you grinned.

"No, but really," you started, deciding to actually explain yourself. "We've just been busy, couldn't find a time to get down here together."

"Oh yeah? Been getting a little too busy down in NYC?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively, and you rolled your eyes with a huff.

"You know I didn't mean it like that!" You swatted at his arm, coaxing a laugh from him. "Our schedules just didn't line up. We never had the same weeks or weekends free to get out of the city."

"So this is your first time traveling together?"

"Guess so."

"Try not to kill him before the weekend's up." He winked. You kept quiet; Georges didn't need to know quite how high the odds of that happening really were. "But really, enough about him. Where are you from? Where'd you go to school? When are you and Philip getting married?"

You ignored the last question altogether, knowing that reacting to it one way or another would only encourage him. "I'm from the west coast. I was born just outside of LA, moved later on to Chicago, and then came to New York City for college."

"Yeah? What made you choose NYC?"

"My ex, actually."

"Oh, really?" He looked surprised at that tidbit of information, and you tried to just shrug it off. "Must've been pretty serious then, huh?"

"It was." He noticed how quiet you went at that, and he didn't press the point, deciding instead to change the subject.

"So Philip must've been a pretty good rebound?" He nudged you, wiggling his eyebrows, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"He..." You paused, considering how you were supposed to respond to that. "He's definitely exceeded expectations, to be perfectly honest."

"Hmm, I dunno how good that sounds, Y/N." He raised a skeptical eyebrow, small smile playing at his lips. "How low, exactly, were your expectations?"

You pursed your lips, but your amusement betrayed you. You hadn't expected to be called out on the truth behind your statement. Your gaze dropped to the bar before you, and you drummed your fingers on the varnished wood. You shrugged. "Not that low."

He let out a snort of laughter. "What an absolutely glowing review. I'll be sure to let him know."

"Hey, don't you betray me like this!"

"I've made it clear where my loyalties lie." He held up his hands in mock surrender. "In all seriousness, though, why were your expectations so low?"

Again, you were unsure of how much to reveal. "Let's just say that Philip isn't much for first impressions."

"Really?" His surprise appeared genuine, before he tilted his head to the side, considering it, and shrugged. "I guess, with you, that shouldn't surprise me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" You folded your arms, needing more information before you could decide whether you were offended. He saw your furrowed brow and grinned.

"I don't mean that as a bad thing. Honest." He paused, considering himself, and you raised an eyebrow, prompting him to continue. He leaned onto the bar, and he spoke matter-of-factly, beginning to explain. "So, Philip's always been good with people. And he's definitely never had any problems with girls. He was in and out of casual relationships all through high school and college just for the hell of it."

Your eyebrows shot up. "Really?" The disbelief in your voice was blatant, and he cracked a smile.

"Yeah, he actually did have some tact, once upon a time. Was a charming kid; I never could figure out how he did it." He shook his head, amusement in his eyes. "But... well, when something matters to him -- or someone -- he goes looking for advice, and everyone else's input just ends up shaking him up. Think I mighta given him advice about you once or twice, so I guess you have me to thank for that."

For a moment, you were stunned. You swallowed, trying not to get too caught up in your head with the information he’d shared, but given its nature, it was hard not to overthink. You tried to match his lighthearted expression. "And what advice would you have given him?"

"Well, five years ago..." He squinted ever-so-slightly as he considered your question. A silent laugh slowly etched itself into his features. "Y'know what, it doesn't matter. Just trust me when I tell you, it was bad advice."

"Georges!"

"Seriously, you don't wanna know." You glared at him, leaning onto the bar where you sat. "I'm sorry to leave you hangin', but I promise, telling you helps no one."

You huffed as you slumped back in your seat. "Are you that bad at relationship advice?"

"Worse than what you're imagining," he assured you, and you shook your head, exasperated.

"How in the world are you married?" The question was a joke, but despite his chuckle, his answer wasn't.

"I think some things are just meant to happen." You raised an eyebrow. He shrugged, wearing a small smile. "Seriously, I was an absolute fool in college -- and I mean that -- but no matter how many times I fucked up with Emilie, she always ended up back in my life. It was usually just coincidence. We were taking the same classes; we had the same advisor; we were on the same subway through town; our dorm rooms were right across from each other.

"And honestly? She kinda hated me at some point, but we kept being thrown together, and we got to know each other pretty well. Call me crazy, but it felt like fate." The distant look in his eyes shifted to something akin to entertainment, after that. "Similar thing happened with Philip, actually."

"Really? When?" You were genuinely invested by that point.

"Junior year of high school." He nodded to himself, thinking back with a grin. "Yeah, that was a hell of a time. Like, one week in, Philip and I had this huge fight. Don't even remember what it was about, but it had us really heated."

"Honestly, I can't imagine you two fighting," you said, and he gave a shrug, his smile agreeable.

"Nah, not anymore, not like that, but we were teenagers," he said, as though that entirely explained it. "But I was only supposed to have one class with him that year, so he tried to switch out of it to get away from me. They ended up having to remake his schedule so he was in every other class with me. Poor kid couldn't escape it, but if it wasn't for some underpaid high-school administrator, we probably wouldn't be friends."

"Sounds like you have a lot of luck," you said, and he grinned.

"That's just it, though." He pinned you with a thoughtful look. "Was it luck, or was it just meant to turn out that way?"

You considered it for a moment. His stories did sound like the longest odds imaginable, but when you thought about your own life, you couldn't help but hope he was delusional. You'd had more than your fair share of bad luck in your life, and once upon a time, it had driven away almost everything you cared about. You didn't like to think that your misery could just have been some cruel twist of fate.

You opened your mouth to respond, uncertain, but Philip had apparently chosen that moment to re-emerge, inadvertently cutting you off.

"Speak of the devil!" Georges called out, his grin wide, and Philip eyed you both skeptically.

"You two are still talking about me?"

Georges glanced at you, and you told him, "I'm hearing all about your high school years."

Philip groaned. "Oh, c'mon man, what are you telling her?"

"We just covered your junior-year mullet and your fez-wearing phase," he informed him, meeting your eyes with a playful smile. "I was just about to fill her in on when you joined the bowling team in our senior year, but--"

"Alright, that's enough outta you." Georges shot you a conspiratory wink as Philip cut him off, though neither you nor Philip could hide your amusement. He, however, tried to play it off as annoyance. "Sounds like we're gonna need to get out of here before you get to the highlights of college."

"Aw, but Pip, I'm learning so much," you pouted, and he looked mildly exasperated as he met your eyes.

"That's what concerns me." Georges laughed while you groaned, and Philip's smile reappeared as he took a seat to your right.

"Then just wait'll I tell her about middle school."

---------------------------------

The rest of your evening was a whirlwind. Having grown up with only an older brother, you hadn't realized quite how many six siblings were -- that changed quickly. You really couldn't believe Angelica had managed to grow up with five brothers without losing her mind. Family dinner stretched on into the night, chaotic to the brink of your comfort zone. You found yourself enjoying it much more than you'd expected to, however. The Hamiltons were as lively as they were numerous, and you couldn't help but laugh along.

"But you were the one who got the room alone!" It took an hour or two, but you'd gotten Philip's siblings' names down. That was James, the younger high-schooler, yelling across the table at Angelica, who made a face.

"I was a seventeen-year-old girl! I couldn't keep sharing a room with my younger brothers!" she shot back, "You scared away three of my boyfriends! Three!"

"You never had to bring them up to our room, but you wanted some alone time with them." It was John, the eleven-year-old, who chimed in this time, making kissy sounds at Angelica who just mocked him.

"I had a right to some privacy!" she shot back. You didn't remember how they'd wandered down this line of discussion, but it seemed to be an impassioned one. Alex Jr. scoffed loudly.

"Hey, I'm seventeen, and I don't have my own room," he interjected, glaring down the table at their dad. "This is a double standard!"

"We have a toddler in the house; grow up," Alex Sr. sighed, which only seemed to further upset Alex Jr.

"Hey, William was Eliza's age when Ang was my age! That's not fair!"

"It doesn't matter; you aren't getting any girls anyway." The sneer came from John.

"Hey, I'm getting plenty--"

"Oh, yeah? Where are they?"

"I haven't brought them home because you can't seem to--"

"Boys! Relax!" Eliza did her best to quell the growing argument, but it seemed to be to little avail. Alex put a hand on her shoulder with a suppressed laugh as she huffed, clearly exasperated.

"Don't make this about me! I'm an incredible roommate!"

"Have you seen our bathroom lately?"

"Come on," Angelica groaned, her annoyance getting lost in the growing cacophony. John was shouting now, leaning over the table at his brother, and you jumped in your seat when James yelled back, deciding it was now his place to join the conversation.

You didn't realize you had grabbed Philip's forearm in your startled fit until he broke your train of thought.

"Alright, princess?"

Your head whipped toward him, surprised to see him leaning in to talk to you, and he looked thoroughly amused by your reaction. You released his arm from your grasp, giving him a sheepish smile. "Your family really is something."

"Believe me now that I was the easy child?" he asked, and you let out a snort of laughter, gaze falling back to his family.

"There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you were like this ten years ago."

"Hurtful," he scoffed, mocking offense, and you just shrugged, smile growing.

"They had to learn it somewhere."

"It was all Angelica."

"I'm sure."

The woman in question broke the wall of noise at almost exactly that moment, raising her head from her hands. "This is exactly why I needed my own room!" That just turned the younger boys into a united front against her, and she looked to Philip with a sigh. "I'm starting to understand why you waited so long to bring Y/N home."

"No idea what you could be referring to. They're so charismatic!" Philip shrugged, plastering on over-exaggerated confusion, seemingly just to get a rise out of his sister. She rolled her eyes with a groan; it appeared to be working. She turned to you.

"Please don't run for the hills just because our younger brothers are absolute monsters," she said, gaze pleading as she reached for your hand. You smiled, amused despite yourself. "We really need some sanity in this family. I can't take family dinners being just me with six boys."

"Aw, Angie, are you saying I'm not one of the absolute monsters?" Philip interjected with a pout. "I'm touched, really."

You and Angelica both rolled your eyes at his antics. It was then that you decided you liked her.

You leaned over the table toward where her hand was desperately clutching yours. "You've got me for the rest of the weekend, but I'm not sure I can promise more."

She groaned exaggeratedly, and Philip nudged you lightly in the side, grinning mischievously. "What, don't you love my family so far?"

His words were teasing, but your soft smile as you looked back at the people surrounding him was anything but. "I do, actually."

When you met his eyes again, his gaze was softer, grin less pronounced. "Good."

The table had slowly grown quieter throughout your interaction, and it seemed you'd held Philip's gaze for just a moment too long, and you turned to see the entire family watching the two of you. You felt your face heat up, took a sip of your water. From then, there was silence, until a grinning William decided to break it.

He'd been quiet for the majority of the meal, so it surprised you when he turned to you, eyes shining. "So, Y/N," he addressed you, tone businesslike.

"I think we've spent enough time questioning Y/N already," Philip interjected before he could continue, resting a near-protective hand on your arm. You cast him a grateful look.

"C'mon, humor him," James said, his grin matching William's. "It's hardly eight; we have plenty of time."

"We started dinner at five." Philip sounded unamused.

"We haven't spent that whole time interrogating her," he defended, and Philip gave him a pointed look. James turned to you. "Right, Y/N?"

While you sighed playfully, playing up your exasperation, you really didn't mind it. You'd never had a family like this before. "I suppose not."

"Anyway," William interjected, looking as stern as a seven-year-old could. You pursed your lips, fighting back a laugh as you folded your hands and leaned toward him, mirroring his expression. "Y/N."

"William." You did your best to imitate his tone.

"When are you and Pip going to have a baby?"

Your eyes widened immediately, and your mouth fell open in shock, if only for a moment. Philip groaned beside you, leaning back in his chair, and you could hear his parents laughing at the end of the table. Some of his siblings looked exasperated; others waited eagerly for your answer.

"Well, um..." You trailed off as you glanced at Philip desperately, hoping he'd shut his family down so you didn't have to. He hadn't yet seemed to have recovered. Your face was burning as you tried to continue. "We aren't married, so not anytime soon, but--"

"When are you getting married?" William pressed, seemingly unaffected by everyone's reactions to his words. You leaned forward, had to take a sip of your drink to hide your surprised laugh.

"Sorry to say it, but right now, we don't know that we are getting married, so I'll have to get back to you on that question." You gave him an apologetic smile before you looked back at Philip, eyes wide. This was territory you didn't think you'd have to cover. He just shook his head and mouthed, 'I'm sorry.' He appeared wholly exhausted.

"Surely you've talked about it before, though, haven't you?" It was the older Alex who chimed in that time, hesitant. Eliza gave him a look. "I mean, getting married, having kids and all that. You've been together for two years; you must have considered it at some point."

"Pops," Philip said through gritted teeth, the word carrying an unsaid warning.

"What? I'm just curious," he defended, despite Eliza swatting his shoulder. He raised his hands in mock surrender as he glanced at her, eyes wide. "If you haven't, it's fine. I don't mean to rush you kids into anything, but I just wanted to know."

By then, though she sighed, you could see Eliza looking at the two of you hopefully. The whole table fell silent, expecting an answer you didn't have. "It's just... not something we've taken into consideration at this point. We aren't really set on making decisions about that anytime soon."

"Do you want kids, though?" Angelica asked you, and Philip sighed. Like you, he'd hoped the topic would fall away after your weak explanation. You hesitated, not sure whether giving them a legitimate answer would only egg them on. Ultimately, you shrugged.

"I mean, personally? Yeah, probably at some point," you offered, playing nervously with the edge of your napkin. You didn't want to look at Philip. "The whole 'settling down and starting a family' thing is something I've kind of always pictured"

"Is it more appealing now that you see how great having a big family is for us?" Alex Jr. asked, words saturated with sarcasm. You laughed as he grinned exaggeratedly, gesturing to everyone down the table.

"I know you're joking and all, but I really wouldn't mind this being my day-by-day."

"Really?" Philip chose that moment to finally interject, an eyebrow raised, and you nodded, feeling suddenly defensive.

"I mean, yeah." You shrugged, shoulders tense. "What, wouldn't you?"

"I would.” His lips quirked as he sat forward in his chair once again. “But, honestly, I didn’t think this was your style.”

"I'm not totally set on anything, but..." You didn't elaborate further. Confessing to him the future you wanted had you feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. His smile was soft as he faintly nodded, eyes crinkling at the corners.

There was a pregnant pause before Alex Sr. spoke.

"I guess now you've talked about it."

------------------------------------

Dinner ended much later than it needed to, and afterward, they just herded you into their living room. It seemed that now since they all had you in front of them, they were going to take advantage of the opportunity to ask you anything and everything about yourself and your love life (with a focus on Philip, of course). You did your best to field the seemingly endless barrage of questions, and though it took you a while, you finally figured out how to deflect the more uncomfortable ones onto Philip. It wasn't until you yawned -- rather loudly, too -- that the conversation reached any sort of stopping point.

"Tired, princess?" Philip wrapped an arm around your waist, lightly squeezing your side, and you sighed, not having enough energy to push back on the pet name.

"Little bit," you mumbled, a weary smile still adorning your lips. He chuckled, and you couldn't help but lean into his embrace, feeling more drained than anything, and rested your head on his shoulder.

"You two should head up and get some sleep," Eliza said. The look in her eyes as you met her gaze was affectionate. You didn't notice your smile growing.

"I second that. You look exhausted, Y/N," Alex added, looking to you and Philip sympathetically.

You chuckled at that, and you couldn't help the lazy sarcasm that leaked into your voice as you responded, "Thanks, Mr. Hamilton; glad to hear it."

"Alex," he corrected you, his smile kind. He didn't seem to take any offense at your tone; instead, amusement danced in his eyes, and you nodded, matching his expression.

"Alex."

You couldn't decide whether the warm feeling in your chest as you bid everyone goodnight, letting Philip lead you to the stairs, was the result of your fatigue, the merlot Eliza had offered you around seven (and then three more times in the hours that followed), or if it just came from being around his family. It had to be some combination of the three, but you had a sneaking suspicion it leaned mainly toward the latter.

The two of you walked in easy silence, you still reminiscing on everything that had happened that day, everyone you'd met, and you didn't notice Philip watching you as you hung onto the railing to your left. You weren't in any sort of headspace for vigilant observation. Instead, you were fixated fondly on his family. It was never an environment you'd been in, so rowdy and energetic, but tender and caring all the while. You'd been dreading this weekend -- seriously, you spent about an hour on the drive down drowning out Philip's soliloquy, spaced out and wondering whether it was too late to just turn around and dump him off on the side of the road. (Patsy wouldn't have even questioned it when you arrived home.) The past however-many-hours, though, almost since you'd just woken up, had you questioning a number of assumptions you'd made, and not just about the family reunion.

You stumbled over one of the last stairs as you lost yourself in your train of thought. Your eyes snapped wide open; your grip on the railing tightened. Just as you felt yourself beginning to tip backward, you found yourself in Philip's arms, his grip on your waist steadying you as he looked down at you, amused.

"You alright?" The air hadn't yet returned to your lungs; your pseudo-crisis must have begun and ended in under a second, and you stared up at him blankly. You blinked, just beginning to process your surroundings.

Catching your breath was more of a struggle than it should've been, however. All you could discern was the feeling of his fingertips pressing into your skin, the feeling of his breath on your neck as he looked down at you. You weren't even that close together, but clinging to his arms for what seemed like dear life had you feeling mildly defenseless. You couldn't miss the growing concern in his eyes.

"Yeah," you breathed as you realized you'd let the silence stretch on too long, long enough for Philip to question it. Being tired (and gravitating toward wine-tipsy) must have just heightened the panic in your system, must have slowed your reaction time. Another beat passed, and you finally pulled yourself upright, taking a deep breath as you continued up the last couple of stairs and down the hallway. Philip's concern didn't dissipate as he came up after you, but your mind was elsewhere.

You had to promise yourself to keep from drinking the next day, feeling exasperated with yourself as you couldn't seem to collect your thoughts. He caught up to you as you entered his room, and pulled the door shut behind him with an eyebrow raised. You didn't see him watching you, a silent question in his gaze, as you dragged yourself over to your suitcase.

You turned around after pulling your pajamas out and froze when you met his eyes. "What?"

He pursed his lips. "You sure you're okay?"

"Of course," you reassured him, giving a weary smile. "I'm just tired; don't worry."

You didn't let yourself ponder any longer, and though you could see your answer hadn't quite appeased him, you ignored it. The room was quiet as you both picked through your suitcases, brushed past each other entering and exiting the bathroom. You were both more than ready to get some sleep.

Just before you were about to climb into bed, you paused, unable to help your drifting gaze. Philip was still in the adjacent bathroom, brushing his teeth, and you glanced back at him. Considering the circumstances, briefly vetting his room felt like fair game.

Your eyes scanned the walls, noting the different posters he still had hung up, appearing to all be from different times in his life -- some were much more worn than others, and you couldn't imagine he'd been anxiously awaiting the new Scooby-Doo movie anytime recently. You wandered over to the desk, the corners of your mouth twitching up into a small smile as you noticed the books and pictures stacked high on the surface. Your fingertips brushed against one photo, and your gaze fell to it, seeing Philip and three other people all in party hats, their celebration frozen in time.

You could hear his footsteps stall behind you as you poked into his belongings, but it didn't discourage you.

"When's this from?" you asked, turning to him with the polaroid you'd uncovered. He chuckled as he walked over, plucking the picture from your hand.

"Eighteenth birthday party," he said, eyes crinkling at the corners as he eyed the photograph. He turned his gaze back to you with a small smile. "You're actually gonna meet all the people in this photo this weekend, assuming they all show up."

You raised an eyebrow, stifling a yawn as you took a seat on the perfectly made bed a few feet in front of him. "What, couldn't get anyone but family to celebrate your eighteenth with you?"

"Hardly." He hummed, ignoring the aim behind the insult. "My dad lost most of his family when he was young, though, so while you'll meet all of Mom's family this weekend, Pop's is all just his friends who he's adopted into the family, and then their families. These three are his friends' kids who I grew up with," he said, motioning again to the photograph.

"That's sweet," you said softly, pushing yourself further up the bed, hugging your knees to your chest.

"Hmm?"

"That your dad chose this entirely new family, I mean." He shrugged, walking over to join you on the bed.

"Yeah, I guess so," he said, "Never really thought much of it, I guess." He paused, eyeing you with a raised eyebrow where you sat. "What's your family like? You don't talk about them much."

You pursed your lips. "Small."

"Yeah?" He took a seat next to you after pulling himself onto the bed. Your skin jumped as the outside of his thigh rested against yours, his hip less than an inch away, and you could feel his body heat radiating off of him. You nodded, swallowing hard as a soft smile grew on your lips.

"Just me, my parents and my brother."

"That's it?" He looked surprised at your explanation, and you just shrugged. "What about cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles?"

"Two aunts, no grandparents, no cousins."

"Really," he sighed, seemingly still in disbelief. A teasing grin worked its way onto his face as he elbowed you lightly. "So I won't be going to any family reunions in the L/N household anytime soon, then, huh?"

You laughed despite yourself. "Doesn't look like it. The closest we ever get is when my brother and I are together in NYC and Mom and Dad drive up to meet us for a couple days. Not much of a production."

"Sounds nice, though." His grin had grown by then as he looked over at you, leaning back to meet you where you sat. By then, he was sitting angled toward you with his legs crossed, reclining back on his hands. You shifted, and the hand behind you brushed against his. "Next time the L/Ns get together in New York, though, I'd better be invited. Quid pro quo, princess."

"Oh, of course," you replied jokingly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Might be a little quieter than what you're used to, though."

He rolled his eyes. "At least you're letting me know ahead of time." You shifted to turn yourself toward him, again finding him only inches from you. He looked as surprised as you did, but neither of you moved, and he continued, tone light. "Speaking of, sorry for not warning you about how... chaotic my family gets. It's been a while since I've been with them all at once, and I forgot to consider that this isn't how everyone's families work."

You chuckled, your smile growing. "No, don't apologize. They're sweet."

"Not the word that comes to mind." He pursed his lips, looking down at you skeptically. You rolled your eyes, but he couldn't have missed the mirth in your expression. "Then again, considering that, it's no wonder you get along with them."

Your jaw dropped in mock outrage. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

He shrugged, feigning innocence despite his smirk. "Nothing much. Just that I'm glad you feel at home with my family."

You huffed out a laugh, pulling yourself up to jab a finger in his chest. "Now don't you dare even pretend that wasn't an insult!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." His grin didn't waver.

"Oh, don't play dumb," you scoffed. You both knew the fury in your voice was contrived, and his amusement seemed to grow. "We both know what you meant."

"Oh, yeah?" He pushed back on you, leaning in against your hand, an eyebrow raised. "What'd I mean, princess?"

"I said don't pretend," you warned him. He was looking increasingly smug the more indignant you became, and you narrowed your eyes.

"Who said I was?

"I'm not stupid." You raised your eyebrows.

"'Course not." He mocked your expression. "So you must already know I would never mean anything other than praise by that, huh?"

You rolled your eyes with a groan, having had about enough, despite the smile you were failing to stifle. He laughed, and you reached out to shove him away by the chest, but just as you did, he tried to grab your wrist, eyebrows raised.

He was too late.

As he grabbed your wrist, you couldn't pull back to where you were sitting, and your eyes widened as you lost your balance. Your momentum turned what would've hardly tipped him over into a much more forceful push, and you sent him falling backward, his legs unfolding as he tried to catch himself, with you, in turn, collapsing forward with a yelp. You ended up on top of him, one hand still held to his chest, the other beside his head, and you knelt straddling his waist. Both of you had wide eyes as you realized the position you were in, nose-to-nose, and your breath caught in the back of your throat.

He was the first to speak, eyes shining, his voice low. "Y'know, this wasn't quite what I had in mind when I asked you to come home with me for the weekend."

However, you were still stunned into silence, hyper-aware of any movement either of you made. You had to focus on your breathing in an effort to calm your pounding heart. (With your hand on his chest, you could tell you weren't the only one.)

You felt your hair brushing against your cheek as it fell forward, draped beside your head over Philip. It must have been subconscious when you found yourself leaning in further yet, must have been instinct based on the situation. Nonetheless, when you did, the side of your nose brushed against his, and you felt his heartbeat quicken, saw his eyes widen.

You paused when you must have been less than an inch above him.

"Y/N," he murmured, voice cautious as his free hand found its way up to your waist. You stalled, though, for another moment, shivering when you felt his breath fan across your lips. He was all but immobile beneath you, too apprehensive to make any move one way or another.

The anticipation in his eyes only heightened with each passing second.

It was then that you pushed yourself off of him, blinking hard, and you couldn't decide whether you had lost your nerve or regained your sense. You swallowed, took a deep breath. "Sorry, I... I didn't mean to, um--" You cut yourself off. What in the world were you thinking? The question arose in your mind desperately as you scrambled further back, further from him. Your face was burning. "I wasn't--"

"You're ok," he said softly, giving you a reassuring (yet, slightly worried) smile. You didn't meet his gaze. "It was a mistake." You were so lost in your own train of thought that you didn't notice when Philip finally stood, walked to the empty side of the bed to join you.

"We should get some sleep," he said, turning on the lamp beside him, and you nodded. The past few minutes had you spiraling. All his actions were hesitant; had you scared him? You didn't mean to end up in that position. He knew it was just a mishap, right? Did you know that it was?

He stood briefly to hit the light, and you crawled under one side of the covers. After a moment, he joined you. Neither of you knew quite what to say next.

"G'night, princess," he finally murmured, voice as wary as it was soft as you curled into the sheets, and he pulled them over himself alongside you. You closed your eyes in an effort to forget that you were still facing him, shifted over to give him space. Your calf brushed against his knee, but you didn't pull away.

When you heard the lamp turn off, you finally spoke again. "Night, Pip."

The room was completely silent after that, but neither of you was at rest. You lay with your eyes tightly shut, your thoughts running a mile a minute as you willed yourself to stop replaying one specific moment on a loop.

You didn't realize your brow was furrowed, but Philip did, watching you for just a moment longer with smiling eyes.

The bed was just a little bit warmer that night.

[luvdsc]

hi miss cat! so i just recently read ur fic “august” and it was so heartbreakingly beautiful btw :”) you have such an amazing gift for writing and i hope you continue cus you’re touching a lot of people with the words and scenarios you create,, and the way i just resonate with each character especially y/n?? WOW.

august is also such a memorable and nostalgic month for me cus i met this guy (we don’t communicate anymore tho). we met thru a similar group of mutual friends at a get-together. he lived cities away from me so we usually just communicate via text or online. there wasn’t a label or anything but we would talk for days end. like it was we were “together” but not really “together” JADHHSJAAJ sometimes i would even wait and stay up late at night for him just so we could talk and he would do vice versa as well.

we met during august and i confessed to him later during Christmas Eve. turns out,, the feelings were mutual but it felt weird at the same time?? like usually we feel giddy and happy even but somehow it felt odd?? like in the back of my mind i kinda knew that this was probably gonna be the end and turns out i was right.

after our confession, we didn’t talk for awhile. at first i thought he was just busy so i just waited for him, while waiting, i would constantly message him everyday and update him on what’s been going on with me. i got to the point where i was just desperate like it was okay if he didn’t reply, just at least a “read” to all of my messages would be enough for me. so i rlly related to y/n so much in the fic :”) (btw i’m listening to august by taylor swift as i’m typing this so i’m kinda in my feels rn LMAO)

after 1737271 years, he FINALLY read them and then he blocked me in all of his socials??? LIEK?? OKAY DOUCHE?! then i heard from his friends that he deactivated after for awhile,,, and then when he came back and reactivated, i was able to messaged him again and i was just fed up and completely hurt and confused and asked him why did he block me and just ghosted me for months after everything.

GUESS WHO REPLIED?? HIS GIRLFRIEND?? I DIDNT KNOW HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND,, AND EVEN HIS FRIENDS DIDNT TELL ME ANYTHING, NOR WAS IT SPECIFIED IN HIS SOCIALS?? SO NOT ONLY AM I HURT BUT I FEL DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF?? like i would never try to ruin a relationship :// it was all just so messy.

turns out when i met him during august he was already dating someone, and during December when i confessed to him, it was also the same month of their 1st year anniversary. basically i just wanted to bury myself alive and drown in my tears at this point. it was the first time i was ever so invested in someone but in the end it felt like shit :// he was my “almost” which hurt the most cus he wasn’t technically mine? FOR GODS SAKE ALL THIS TIME I WAS THE SIDE HOE WITHOUT ME EVEN KNOWING LIKE HELL NAW IM OVER THIS😫😤🤢

we chatted a few weeks after, and surprisingly he initiated the conversation as if nothing had happened? he noticed i was being distant and cold and he was like “are u mad at me” nO I JUST RLY WANT TO PUNCH U OFF TO THE NEXT HEMISPHERE CUS YOURE SUCH A DOUCHE!!! and then he was like “i’m sorry, although I don’t really know what i should say sorry for, but yea i’m sorry” the fact that he didn’t see the reason/purpose as to why he should say sorry just makes his apology all the more meaningless 😪🤧

after that we just started fighting and that was the last time we ever talked to each other. i blocked his number and all his social media accounts, i even unfriended our mutual “friends” since i just wanted to cut everything and everyone related and connected to him completely.

but now i’m okay:D looking back, he wasn’t even worth it. it’s just a shame that he was the first person i invested all my love and time to, despite all the distance and uncertainty, that’s what i regret the most. it was also hard cus although i didn’t know about his relationship with his girlfriend i felt disgusted and ashamed of myself for awhile. like the ghosting did hurt but him blatantly lying and flirting with me despite being in a committed relationship hurt worse i can’t even imagine what his gf feels ohgod.

i’m sorry this is so long. but like i said earlier, you really have such a gift for writing and i hope that life offers you lots and lots of colorful, beautiful and fun moments in your life, like how it is in all your stories! hehe ❤️💫✨💐💐 stay safe miss cat and i’m wishing u all the best <3

hi, honey bee !! 💓 omg thank you so much for reading august and saying such nice things about it 🥺🥺💟 and you’re so sweet klashaskfdlj i’m gonna cry, thank you for complimenting my writing 😭💗💗 it makes me really happy to know that my stories can make you feel this way and that you can put yourself in yn’s shoes :’) 

oh god... reading what happened to you, i’m so so sorry that you wasted your time on such a d!ck /: he sounds absolutely disgusting, and the fact that he can’t even see where he went wrong??? also how his friends didn’t say anything?? jfc cheating is the one thing that makes me the most upset, like.... why would he do that???? if you wanna hook up with someone, break up with your s/o first. it’s a douche move, sure, but it’s the worst to cheat. you’re breaking your s/o at that point ): i’ve unfortunately seen both sides of this because of my friends, and god, i’ve seen the strongest girls get broken down because their trust is broken and they think it’s their fault and it’s just so so painful. i’m so sorry you had to go through this, lovebug ):

good on you for cutting off your mutual friends and everything associated with him. you don’t need that in your life, and i’m really happy that you’re doing okay and thriving now, sweetpea 🌸 i’m sorry that he was your first relationship ): i hope that, if you choose to try again, the next person knows how lucky they are to have you 🤍 you should not be disgusted nor ashamed of yourself, angel ): he’s the one who should be feeling those things. you didn’t know, and it’s not your fault. he hurt you and his gf, and that’s on him. (and i hope his gf dumped his sorry @ss)

and it’s okay, lovebug, you don’t have to apologize! 💞 thank you for wanting to share your thoughts and feelings after reading august 🥺💕 and thank you so so sooo much 😭💛 all my stories are based heavily on my life, so i’d say that life has indeed offered me tons of colorful and beautiful and fun moments :’) fingers crossed that i continue to receive more tho!!!! and i hope for the same for you, honey bee !!! i hope life treats you kindly and only good things come your way 🌼🌼 thank you again, lovebug, and i hope you’re staying safe and happy, and i’m sending you all my love and support 🌷🌷🌷✨

[lizzienaut]

All 31 tword questions! 😊

ALRIGHTY THEN BUCKLE UP GAMERS LETS DO THIS

this is gonna be super duper frickin long so im gonna put it under a read more as per usual i hope it works ahhh-

thank you for the ask anon!! <33

1. do you personally identify as a lee, ler or switch? what about tickling makes you feel one or the other?

switch all the way baybeyyyyy!!! not even leaning one way or another, just straight-up pure switch energy exudes from my pores something about the power exchange really gets me giddy man having a lee all helpless beneath you and all adorably giggly and blushy and whiny makes me just 💕💖❤💗💘💝💓💞 and in return being the one who gets teased and chased and pinned down and absolutely wrecked is just!! ahhhHHHhhh

2. have you ever been tickled irl? was it by accident or on purpose?

oh dude bro i used to be tickled all the time by people specifically one of my irl friends who i told about this thing last year this mans straight up pinned me down and tickled me for six hours straight while we watched youtube when i spent the night at his place it wasn't like!! super rough or anything- very light and playful most of the time, but occasionally it got intense and i  fucking died dude i was so happy now i don't really wanna be tickled by anyone other than iven though ahaaaaa- i mean i've been like that for a while but pshHhHh

3. would you prefer punishment or reward tickles?

yes

4. what kind of teasing gets to you most/what kind of teasing is your favorite to dish out?

i LOVE verbal teases so much sosososo much omg “tickle tickle tickle” or “kitchy kitchy coo” or “im gonna tickle you!” all of it makes me melt and die literally just saying tickle repeatedly makes me all squeaky and squirmy and lee in an instant frickin i cant take what i dish out bro ;v;

5. what does it take to make you flustered about tickling?

everything how helpless being tickled makes me feel and how EMBARRASSING it is that i like it so much more than any other people normally do dkfjgnkdfj

6. are you easily able to admit you like it?

when im ler?? absolutely i fuckin love tickling when im lee is a different story

7. have you ever told someone outside of this community about tickling?

yes!! quite a few people actually- most of them arent even my friends anymore BUT one of my current friends knows about it and yeah!

8. what’s your favorite thing about being tickled/tickling someone?

power exchange the cute giggles the blushy face the feeling of helplessness  etc

9. what’s your laugh like?

ive been told that its very childish and bubbly and loud, but it can rlly easily become cackly and witchy sounding and embarrassing dfkjgkdfj i SNORT A LOT MUCH TO MY DISMAY

10. favorite spot to be tickled/to tickle?

all of them

11. lees, would you prefer to be tied up or free in a session? lers, would you prefer a lee tied up or free in a session?

in a session? tied up!! but just for fun id say free <33

12. if you could be tickled by/tickle anyone (real or a fictional character!) who would you chose?

iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iv

13. wake up or before bed tickles?

yes

14. do you like being teased? do you like dishing out teasing?

YES

15. who’s someone in this community that you would love to meet or get to know better?

id love to get to know so many people better!! literally all of my mutuals omfg @ all my mutuals pls message me id love to be friends w yall <33

16. do you have any uncommon spots/have you ever discovered any on someone else? where was it?

my palms are SO ticklish its not even funny wtf ive never been full on tickled there but every time someone tries to write things on my palms or run their nails down them i just. squeak as loud as humanly possible jkdfgkdf

17. do you remember how old you were when you first realized you liked tickling?

i think!! i was 8 or so- lil liz discovered tickle videos back then and didn't know what incognito was either

18. how comfortable are you with talking about tickling? why do you feel that way?

irl? no too embarrassing fjdgnfk online? yes please lets talk abt tickles its so FUN

19. what’s your personal worst spot? what’s your favorite “death spot” you’d wreck someone with?

mine are my feet, underarms and neck!! fav to wreck are probably feet dkjfgkdjf

20. are there any spots you personally find underrated? where are they?

NECK for personal reasons >w>

21. what’s one of your personal favorite tickle scenarios?

scary movies and a visit from the tickle monster

22. soft cuddly tickles or rough more intense tickles?

yes

23. are there any tickle scenes you’ve seen that have stuck with you? what were they from?

THE MIRACULOUS LADYBUG ONES CAUSE ALL OF THEM WERE SUPER CUTE AHHH

24. upper or lower body tickles?

yes

25. is there’s a specific position you’d like to be tickled in/tickle someone in? why that position in particular?

tied in an x position on the bed 👀👀👀 because EASY ACCESS TO ALL SPOTS YO

26. do you have any “unpopular opinions” about tickling that you’d like to share?

tickling isn't inherently a kink or sexual :)

27. lees, do you enjoy being tickled on your worst spot(s)? lers, how do you go about tickling a lees worst spot(s)?

YES tease them with gentle touches, then dive in when they least expect it B)

28. is it difficult for you to be put in a lee/ler/switch mood? what can make you feel that way?

absolutely not iven can easily put me in either moods just by being cute or even slightly teasy ;w;

29. do you ever have tickle dreams? do you remember any that you’ve had if so?

yes i have tickle dreams quite often actually!! he last one that ive had kinda really stuck with me-- iven and i were on separate islands and id often sneak onto his to steal his supplies and one day he set up a trap and tied me up with vines n shit and just. absolutely wrecked me maN i snuck onto it quite a few more times after that pff

30. are you a fan of the idea of tools? which ones would you be up to trying if you are?

YES YES YES ALL OF THEM ALL ALL ALL good SHIT DUDE

31. AND FINALLY. do you believe in the tickle monster? what do you think they look like/appear as?

me.

i am the tickle monster

[brianandthemays]

Nevermore (Brian May x reader)

Requested by the lovely @blondecarfucker

EDITED!!!!

Prompt: Brian leaves reader for a famous actress!

A/N I’ve never really written angst like this but once I started I couldn’t stop! I really hope you like this dear!

Warnings; ANGST ANGST ANGST, some language??? IDK rlly cheesy writing 

Word Count:1620

_______________________________________________

 It had been a few months since you started feeling this way. You'd been dating Brian for 2 years but recently, everything has felt forced. The feelings of love and compassion was gone, replaced by a feeling of unhappiness and forced smiles.

Brian still didn't know that you'd found out about his affair. You wanted to hate him, you wanted to leave him, but you couldn't. Deep down you thought you'd still love him, that he still cared about you. So you did what you had to. You smiled and didn't change physically. But mentally you were done. Done with pretending, done with playing his little game. He would come home late and hug you, he would kiss you and tell you that you were his one and only. But you could smell her perfume on his collar, and you knew he had been with her again.

You felt uncomfortable around him now. Knowing that he didn't love you anymore and that he was forcing himself to be around you.

               "(Y/N)?" He broke you from your thoughts.

               "Hm? Oh, yeah what's up?" you manage out, clearing your throat.

               "You okay? You seem sorta out of it today?" he questioned, kissing your cheek. You melt into his touch but you get that feeling in your stomach, knowing he doesn't mean any of his. His concern, his kiss, his love, all fake.

                "I'm fine." You lie through your teeth flashing him a smile. He returned the smile and wrapped his arm around your waist.

Why didn't he just leave you? Why did he choose to play with your emotions, to make you slowly unravel mentally, trying to stay happy.

Life isn't fair. You knew that now. You find the man you love and you just weren't enough for him.  Why weren't you good enough? Was she prettier, more talented, did she understand him better. You loved him, why can't he love you.

You lean your head on his shoulder, savoring his touch while you still could. One day you knew you would break. He wouldn't understand when he found you curled up and crying over a picture of the two of you when you were happy. And you were his everything.

                   "(Y/N)? You know I love you right?" He smirks looking down at you.

No you don't

You remembered the first night he had come home, after being with her.  He was so happy but not happy. It was like he knew what he had done and hated it but... not that much. It went on like that until he started to feel more guilty. At least that's what you guessed. He started clinging to you more. Like he was afraid you would fly away. He would take every chance he got to tell you how beautiful you were, or sneak a kiss just to make sure you still loved him. Which of course you did... right?

                   “Yeah! Of Course, darling” You reply dryly.

Maybe your act had become nothing more than an act. Maybe your feelings for him were gone the second his lips touched another girls. It was so hard to tell, everything was blurring together. You remember crying a lot when you were confirmed of his relationship, when he was gone you broke down in sobs that dizzied your head and made you want to throw up.

It seemed to you that everyone knew about his affair. Whenever you hung out with the boys, the looks of pity they would shared between each other as you went on about how much you love Brian... how you would do anything for him. They knew that the feeling wasn't mutual. None of them wanted to tell you. Maybe they were afraid that if they told you that you would leave and never come back. And who know, maybe you would when someone finally decides to tell you or you finally decide to let them know that you knew the entire time.

It had become some sort of art or skill. The are of naivete and faking smiles. Every time you smile at him, every time you acted clueless to his secrete. You grew in your "art". Or maybe it was a game to him. Maybe she didn't know about you. What would it change though? Would she  feel guilty and stop him? Or would it would just fire her on to keep it up. Keep up playing with me.

You are not a toy to play with then leave behind, broken and in pieces like porcelain. So delicate and beautiful, broken so easily. Was that all you  was? No. You were strong and you would make it through this. Because you loved him. You  loved Brian May. And he loved me... you know he does... he's just lost.

It was late at night and once again you found yourself alone in your house. It had been another week of coming home to an empty house and waiting until the late hours of the night for Brian to come home to her. She wasn’t stupid. She had seen it in the papers and the trashy tabloids.

                 Brian May and Famous Actress Stephanie Calloway Dating??

 Stephanie had become a friend of Brian’s after they met at some party or gala or whatever. Y/N had been there when they met and saw the look in Brian’s eye when they spoke to each other. There was a spark in his eye that you hadn’t seen since the first time you went out together. You liked to think to the time before Stephanie. What had you done wrong that would make him want to leave you? This thought was just entering your mind when the door jingled, announcing Brian’s entrance. You quickly wiped your eyes of any tears that may have formed and stood waiting for him to walk in 

               “Y/N! You’re still awake!” He chirped when he saw you standing there. He could see the redness in your eyes and immediately felt guilty. 

               “It’s late Brian.” You replied in a monotone voice.

Brian frowned walking over to you. He placed his hands on your arms rubbing up and down reassuringly. 

               “I know I’m sorry, dear. I just lost track of time. Blame Fred,” he cooed before tucking your head into his neck. You rested for a second, wanting to pretend that nothing was wrong but a whiff of perfume and you flinched away from him. “Darling what’s wrong?” 

               “Stop it!” You spat, turning away from him as you felt tears begin to well in your eyes again “Stop lying to me!”

Brian’s eyebrows furrowed together as he frowned. “I-I-I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Suddenly, your sadness turned into anger and you whipped around towards him again.

                 “Oh really? How about you coming home after midnight every night this week? Or the fact that your neck is covered in a perfume that is most certainly not mine!” Hot tears streamed down your face as all of your insecurities came out. Brian just stared at you, not knowing what to say. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the floor. Seeing his response, you sighed and closed your eyes, not wanting to look at him. 

               “How long?” you asked so softly that it was barely audible. He glanced up at you. You opened your eyes, forcing him to see the wrecked state you were in. “How. Long.” 

               “2 months” 

The words were barely out of his mouth when you let out the sob that had been building up in her throat.  You turned away from him again and walked towards the kitchen counter. You crumbled onto the counter, your hands catching your head as the tears just kept coming. 

               “God, I’m such an idiot,” you muttered.

               “I’m so sorry, Y/N I really am, I just-” Brian began, walking towards you. 

               “Just what, Brian? Found someone better?” you finished his sentence. He stopped where he was, not knowing what to say. 

               “God I should have known. What am I compared to the beautiful Stephanie Calloway?” you whimpered “And all those times you told me you loved me, what? Lies? 2 fucking months you lied to me?” 

               “It was wrong, Y/N, I know, but I just didn’t want to let you go.” He admitted. 

               “So instead you just dragged me along, becoming second best, becoming the sympathetic girl in the papers,” you spat.  “‘Poor Y/N’ ‘Clueless Y/N’ God it’s such a joke.” 

You rubbed your hand across your face before finally sighing in defeat. You turned to face him. He was still standing here, in between the living room and the kitchen counter, doing nothing. 

                 “I’ll stay over at Macy’s tonight, and come get my stuff tomorrow,” you sighed, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. You started towards the door. 

               “Wait, Y/N don’t leave!” He begged suddenly moving forward grabbing your wrist. You yanked it out of his grasp.

                “And why on earth should I stay?” you sneered. Your voice turned soft with defeat as you sighed out “I’m not wanted here anymore.” 

Brian could see the defeat in your eyes and squeezed his eyes shut. He had really messed things up here, and he couldn’t bear to see you so distraught. When he felt himself falling in love with Stephanie, he tried to stop himself but found he couldn’t. Then he tried to convince himself to let you go, but he couldn’t do that either. 

               “Y/N, I really did love you,” he pressed. 

               “Yeah… well… things change I guess,” you finished, looking at him. You waited for a moment, waiting for him to say something and when he didn’t you shook your head. With that, you turned and walked out the door. Shutting the door on your broken relationship and a past that will never be forgotten.

[rafestyles]

turning page // d.d

Requested? Yes:  I’m sending you another request because you’re so wonderful at it so I’m taking advantage 🤣 what if you did an imagine where David asks you to help set up his house for a big date but it turns out you’re the one that will be going on the date!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None

a/n: hi, ur the luv of my life first of all. secondly, i grinned like a fckin idiot over this request bc its so cute. anyways, i hope i did it justice!!! (ps, title is from the song by sleeping at last !!) (pps, i’m rlly bad at going through and editing, so if there’s any mistakes i’m sorry !!!)

masterlist

——

you awoke with the sun shining through your windows and onto your face. yawning, you flipped over in bed searching the sheets for your phone. once you found it, you noticed you had a text from your best friend david.

baby davey: y/n !! what are u doing today ?

you rolled your eyes fondly, not able to keep the smile off of your face as you quickly typed out your reply.

you: idk, probs whatever u have planned since we’re all ur robots who do whatever u need us to lol

you decided that getting up and showering was your next best option, since you were probably heading to david’s house for the day. you quickly hopped in the shower and once you were done you noticed you had received another text from david.

baby davey: u know it !! but it actually doesn’t have to do with my vlog tonight. i might have a date and i need ur help setting up pls

you couldn’t help the sinking feeling you felt in your stomach. you and david had been best friends for as long as you could remember, you deciding to follow him to l.a. after his insistent persuading. but over the years, you couldn’t help to develop feelings for the boy, and now you could definitely confirm that those feelings were not mutual. you never told david about these feelings, knowing the last thing you’d ever want to do was ruin the relationship you shared with him. the only people who knew was your mom and your other best friend, y/bf/n. and although both of them tried relentlessly to get you to tell him, you refused.

you: aw, baby davey finally has a date !!! yes, ofc i’ll help. what time do u need me to come over?

you glanced over the text, making sure it sounded normal. and once you clicked send, he replied quickly after, confirming the time. you began to mentally prepare yourself for the heartbreak you were about to endure for the rest of the day.

——

stepping out of your uber, you glanced down at your outfit. you had decided to just wear something comfortable (a huge hoodie, some leggings and white sneakers), knowing that you were just going to throw yourself on your bed and cry as soon as you got back to your place later that night.

“y/n?!” you heard david call as soon as you opened up the front door.

“yes, hi dave,” you replied, pulling your hood over your head.

“aw, look at how cute you look. are you cold?” he said as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

you snuggled into him, “don’t flirt with me, you dweeb. your date won’t like it.”

he laughed as he shook his head, “for some reason i have a feeling my date won’t mind that much.”

you looked up at him quizzically, opening your mouth to question him only to be interrupted by him speaking.

“okay, so i was thinking like a nice night in? maybe with like a funny romcom and snacks? i know she would rather do that than go somewhere fancy. i also thought maybe making a fort might be cute, but is that too much?”

you couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the boy in front of you, “dave, you’re rambling,” you pondered softly before continuing, “you must really like this girl if she’s making you this nervous.”

“you have no idea, y/n,” he whispered sincerely, looking you right in your eyes.

you couldn’t help feeling like your heart was breaking slowly the more he talked about this mystery date. you glanced down at your feet, pushing some hair behind your ear, “okay, well let’s make this date unforgettable.”

——

a couple of hours later, you and david had made his living room into the fort of every girl’s dream. stocked with the best snacks and lined with fairy lights (which you remembered were stored away in one of david’s kitchen drawers).

“holy shit, y/n, this looks amazing.” he said, gaping slightly at the scene in front of you.

you couldn’t help to agree with him, it was truly the date of every girl’s dream (including your own).

“i say we did a pretty damn good job, dave. but, um- my uber is here, so i better go so you can get ready for her,” you glanced over at him, swallowing down the lump in your throat, “is there anything else you need?”

he bit his lip thoughtfully, shaking his head, “i don’t think so, y/n. thank you so much, i couldn’t have done this without you.”

“you know i’d do anything for you, baby davey.”

he rolled his eyes, giggling softly at you, “text me when you’re home, yeah?”

you nodded at him, giving him one last hug before you walked out the door.

——

once you reached your apartment, you threw yourself against your bed. you couldn’t believe you had endured a full day helping your crush get his house ready for a date with a girl that he clearly adored. you looked up at your ceiling, forcing your tears back while you sniffled softly. right as you decided to put on a cheesy romcom to get your mind off of david and his date, you heard a knock at your door. you tried to remember if you had ordered anything online, but nothing was coming to mind.

standing up, you wiped your face to get rid of any tears that had slipped past, but when you opened the door, you were greeted by the last face you had expected to see that night, “david..? what’re you doing here? aren’t you supposed to be at your house getting ready for your date?”

he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing at the ground before he shyly looked back up at you, “um, yes,” he chuckled nervously, “i have to pick her up first.”

you furrowed your eyebrows at him, “okay? um, is she in this apartment building or something?”

he shook his head at you, “well - yes, but - ugh, y/n,” he fiddled with his hands nervously, and only then did you notice the soft yellow flowers that he was holding.

“dave, i’m very confused, just spit it out.” you couldn’t help but grow a little frustrated at the boy in front of you. not only had you spent all day pretending not to be broken hearted, but now he had come to your door with beautiful flowers for his date?

“listen, y/n, it’s you. ah - you’re the one i wanted to go on a date with?” he asked, once again biting his bottom lip.

you were speechless, as you gaped at him, not believing the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“dave, what? is this some kind of prank for your channel?”

his eyes widened, “what? y/n, no no, not at all. it’s just -“ he hesitated for a moment before speaking again, softly. “i’ve been wanting to ask you out for a very long time now, and natalie was getting sick of my pining. i didn’t know how else to ask you without you thinking it was a prank and then i got nervous thinking that you wouldn’t like whatever i came up with, so i figured i’d invite you over so you could help me make it perfect and now looking back at it i realize how stupid it sounds and-“

you cut him off quickly, “david julien dobrik. you’re telling me that you made me set up my own date because you were nervous that i wouldn’t like it?”

he cringed slightly, squeezing his eyes, “uh... yes?”

you couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped your lips at his confession, “oh my god.”

“i really hope that laugh is a good thing, y/n..”

you shook your head, a beaming smile perched upon your lips, “you are so stupid david dobrik to think that i wouldn’t like anything you did.”

“uh... okay? i’m not sure i’m following here. are you happy about this, or..?”

you took a step closer to him, tilting your head up to make eye contact with him, “you have no idea how happy i am about this. to think that i was about to put on a romcom and cry my eyes out over my best friend, whom i happen to have a massive crush on, was out on a date. and now he’s here, telling me that i’m the one he wants to go on a date with,” you shook your head, still not quite believing this was happening to you.

david set the flowers down on the table by your front door, cupping your face in his hands, “did you just tell me that you have a huge crush on me too?” he asked.

you giggled softly, biting your lip as you nodded.

“why didn’t you tell me?”

you gasped at him, “well you didn’t tell me either!!”

he looked you in the eyes for a moment before responding with a wide grin on his face, “can we both agree we were dumb and should’ve told each other way earlier than this?”

you laughed again, nodding in agreement.

he glanced down at your lips, and then back up at your eyes, “if you don’t let me kiss you right now, y/n, i might die,” he whispered.

“well we wouldn’t want that, now would we?” you cheekily replied, pressing your lips against his.