#*there are occasionally small children at my work and I have a bad habit of swearing in front of them

[chiropteracupola]

list of things I've thought about doing instead of this paper:

run away from college and become a chiropractor (probably pretty easy and I think I would be good at it)

run away from college and become a lady's maid / gentleman's valet but only if the gentleman wears corsets that I can lace or unlace for them (significantly more difficult I imagine)

hang out with small children (I don't know any small children and historically am not good at hanging out with them*)

start a petition to get rid of daylight savings time

move the sun with my mind so that it's still here at 5pm

write a whole entire graphic novel about medieval gay kissing instead of the paper (note that the paper does also include medieval kissing which may or may not be gay)

[strawberrybunnystuff]

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘖𝘶𝘵𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴

Leland Coyle

Night habits: Leland sleeps deeply, hard as a rock but he suffers from intense dreams/nightmares that cause him to move a lot in bed.

Behavior: Leland loves to sleep with his body pressed against yours, preferably in a hug with him almost crushing you in his arms. He wants to make sure you don't go anywhere and that nothing bad happens to you.

Sounds: Leland snores softly but with a serious tone.

"With you here, I won't have any nightmares."

Mother Gooseberry

Nocturnal Habits: Mother Gooseberry sleeps gracefully and almost motionlessly.

Behaviour: Before bed, Mother Gooseberry likes to sing some children's bedtime music, she also likes to gently stroke your hair.

Sounds: Mother Gooseberry doesn't snore and barely makes any sounds. (Sometimes you have to make sure she is actually breathing).

"You brought light to my nightmares."

Franco Barbi

Night Habits: Franco is a light sleeper, he can wake up with any small noise. He always makes sure to stay alert even with his eyes closed. He suffers from insomnia. (Poor baby!)

Behavior: He loves to lie down with his body very close to yours so he can relax and get some rest. He will always put your safety over his sleep.

Sounds: Franco may end up mumbling from time to time in his sleep, he also suffers from constant nightmares which makes him wake up scared.

"You're the one to have me off guard."

Dr. Esterman

Night Habits: Esterman is used to always sleeping very late due to his work. He usually checks that everything is in perfect order before putting his head on a pillow.

Behavior: Esterman likes to watch you sleeping, he admires every little detail of you as you sleep deeply before finally falling asleep. He likes to sleep apart out of respect for his space.

Sounds: Esterman breathes heavily, you can hear it sometimes.

"You are the greatest discovery of my life."

The Night Hunter

Nocturnal Habits: He suffers from his extremely light sleep. He is 100% always on alert. Tends to wake up even without there being any sound or movement but tries to go back to sleep soon after making sure everything is ok.

Behavior: He stays close to you while sleeping long enough for you to feel his body heat. He sometimes moves in his sleep and gets up to patrol and then comes back.

Sounds: Releases some low growls while dreaming or having nightmares.

"....Stay with me....."

Bonus

Chris Walker

Nocturnal Habits: Sleeps deeply, his entire body may be as hard as stone.

Behavior: Chris prefers to sleep with some form of physical contact with you, preferably in a position where he can protect you.

Sounds: He snores loudly like a noisy bear.

"I'll keep you safe with me."

Eddie Gluskin

Night Habits: Sleeps well and deeply but may occasionally wake up just to whisper softly "I love you."

Behavior: He wraps you deeply in his arms with a tight, warm hug. He will never sleep any other way. (He is VERY afraid of you running away from him...).

Sounds: Has deep, heavy breathing.

"I love you more than anything."

Richard Tranger

Night Habits: Richard sleeps for a short time but intensely. He wakes up with a lot of energy.

Behavior: Richard is restless and moves several times in bed, changing positions frequently but always finding a way to touch you.

Sounds: Sometimes murmuring some disconnected words.

"Don't think you'll run away in my dreams." (PERVERTED!)

Frank Manera

Night Habits: Frank is a heavy sleeper. Says disturbing things in your sleep.

Behavior: Loves to keep you close, will sleep close to you with their bodies almost forming one. He loves feeling the heat of your body.

Sounds: It is very noisy. Snores loudly.

"You're the only one I can't hurt."

· · ─ · 𝜗𝜚 · ─ · ·

[haikyu-mp4]

Snitches

You and Osamu are good cop + bad cop when your daughter acts up, for my Parenting event<3

requested by @nanami2ndbureau. word count; 611 – gn!reader

Let’s just say this situation was not ideal. Not all parents got called into the principal’s office because of their children’s mischief, but you and Osamu sure did. Your teenage daughter was in a bit of a rebellious phase and was seen holding a lit cigarette on school grounds, can you believe it?

The two of you sat on either side of her as the principal detailed the report filled out by the teacher who caught them. You listened intently to the principal while your daughter fiddled with her nails. Osamu had his arms crossed, more focused on your daughter’s reaction.

“We do not condone this behaviour, sir.” You turned the charm on, a soft smile silently begging the principal to show some kindness in the situation. “She has no prior bad marks, who hasn’t tried a cigarette before?”

The principal pursed his lips, looking down at the report to give him a second away from your eyes so he could think. “Well… I would like to know who brought the cigarette onto school grounds.”

You turned to your daughter expectantly. “Go on, tell him you didn’t bring them.” You briefly looked at the principal and added a small comment. “We don’t smoke at home.” Osamu briefly thought of the pack he had in his locker at work, which you knew he used for the occasional smoke break. However, you both agreed he would never bring that habit home.

The teenager crossed her arms, looking a lot like her dad at the moment as she mumbled under her breath. “No way, my friends will get in trouble.”

“He’s giving ya a chance to get out of that trouble, stop being so stubborn.” Osamu’s voice wasn’t quite mean, but it wasn’t nice either. You gave him a look before focusing back on your daughter.

“Everybody makes mistakes, the school just wants to take the right precautions,” you assured her softly, tucking some hair behind her ear. You always insisted she wear it up more to show off her face, but that only seemed to make her more insistent on keeping it down. Teenagers.

Osamu hummed in agreement from her other side. “Tell him who brought it,” he said much more sternly than you did. That’s the moment you realised you were unintentionally doing good cop, bad cop.

“Nu-uh. My lips are sealed.”

Your eyes met Osamu’s over your daughter’s shoulders, and there was no denying you shared this though: That’s right, we didn’t raise no snitch.

Osamu looked at the principal, finally letting his arms fall loose from the tight knot. “This won’t happen again, we promise there will be consequences at home.”

Luckily, the principal let her off with a warning, but she earned a detention for not snitching. Fair enough, you decided. On the way to the car, you told your daughter that you hoped she understood that smoking, especially at her age, can be very dangerous for her health.

“Yes, mom.” She sighed dramatically, glancing at her dad who still hadn’t smiled much. The two of you would probably have a serious conversation about his habit later after your daughter went to bed. “I think you should be proud of me, though. Snitches end up with stitches in ditches, like Uncle ‘Tsumu says!”

“Nu-uh,” Osamu retorted, making you realise where your daughter got that from. “Since when did ya start taking advice from that idiot?”

“I'm going to tell him you said that,” she insisted. You had to look away from them to hide your laugh.

"Oh, so now yer a snitch?"

Sure, parenting can be hard, but at least you chose the best partner to do it with.

masterlist

for the requester: I loved your request, thank you so much<3 hope you like it!

[reiderwriter]

hi i love your writing

could you do something with reid loving that reader is pregnant. fluff or smut or both

A/N Hello! Thanks for the request! Dad!Spencer is the cutest thing on the planet so this is some unapologetic fluff. And now I have baby fever.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, idiots in love. Loosely based on Haley and Hotch's conversation in 1x1. Very fluffy and probably very cheesy and sentimental too... Sorry, you give me girl dad Spencer and suddenly there isn't an impure thought in my head, I just want to lovingly stare at him like I'm the dead wife in an action movie montage.

My requests are open, check out my masterlist for more 🌸

“Okay, what about Amelia?”

“No, Amelia Dyer, Victorian serial killer. She killed multiple infants over a thirty-year period.”

“Okay, okay, how about, Myra?”

“Myra Hindley, she and her partner Ian Brady abducted and killed five children and teens in the early sixties.”

“God, not that then. There can’t be a psychopathic murderer called Belle, right?”

“You’re making this too easy for me, y’know. Belle Gunness, Hell’s Belle, she’s one of the most prolific female serial killers of all time, even 100 years after her supposed death. It’s fascinating, you know, people think that she actually faked her death - when the doctor who performed the postmortem testified, he noted that the cadaver was about five inches shorter and about fifty pounds lighter than Gunness supposedly was….” You raise a single eyebrow at your wonderful husband, and he immediately shuts up.

“I’m rambling aren’t I?” He smiled down at you as you sat curled up as much as you could in your favorite spot on the couch, the cosiest part of your shared apartment. You smiled back up at him as he leaned down for a kiss and you gladly craned your neck up in response, meeting his lips for a sweet moment.

“Hotch was right you know,” you joked when the two of you parted. “All of the best baby names have been taken by serial killers.”

“Yeah, you’d think with the ratio of female to male serial killers, a girl would be easier to name.” He leans down to kiss you again before falling into a crouch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and placing his hand on your stomach.

“How big did you say our little girl is now?”

“Y/N, you asked me that half an hour ago. I know pregnancy messes with your brain a bit, but if you’re that bad we’re going to have to get you back to Dr Patel and see if you’re doing okay.” He was joking of course, but you showed him your little pout anyway, knowing that he loved seeing the silly expression on your face.

“Humor me, Doctor.” He strokes your stomach and moves away, but not too far away, taking up right next to you on the couch, and pulling your legs over his lap.

“At five months, she’s roughly 10 inches long with a weight of about 0.5-1 pound. But that ‘How Big is My Baby’ book would say that she’s roughly one banana in length.” You giggled up at him and he grabbed your hand and just held it, content to have you in his arms in any way, big or small.

“I can’t believe it’s been five months already,” you giggle as he presses another kiss to your hand.

“I get it. It doesn’t feel quite real yet to me, either. I thought for so long that fatherhood just wasn’t in my future, but you’re the gift that keeps on giving I guess. I don't know what I did to deserve you.” Even if the words weren’t so sweet, with all of the hormones, you would’ve started crying at anything. Or at least that’s what you’re going to tell him when he sees the small tears threatening to drop into enormous loving sobs.

“Spencer Reid, I am not a gift. I am simply the woman with the correct combination of sense and foolish luck that got to marry you.” He’d done this before, and you were used to his small habit of self-deprecating talk, but after a year of marriage and three years of dating before that, you’d managed to work him down to the occasional comment.

“Don’t try to argue about this, I’m definitely the one benefitting the most from the situation right now,” he joked with you, and you could see the genuine adoration shining from behind his eyes. It was a little spark that not many got to see, a glimpse of true happiness in someone usually so reserved.

“Spencer, you’ve given me foot rubs everyday this week, you’ve read more pregnancy and parenting books than every OBGYN and midwife in the area combined, and you’ve somehow attended more of my clinical check-ups than me, and I’m the one whose pregnant.”

“And you’re growing our child inside of you, which is itself more impressive than anything I could ever do with a book and some modern acts of chivalry.”

“Yeah, tell your boss that. I think the only thing keeping Emily from pulling her hair out over your constant absences is that she thinks she’s competing for the title of godmother. She thinks Penelope and JJ are trying to corrupt me with parenting advice and all those baby clothes Pen keeps bringing over.”

“She’s going to be crushed when she remembers we’re not religious, right?”

“Devastated,” the two of you shared a laugh on the couch, and it quickly devolved into a giggle fit after Spencer leaned over and tickled your side. You jolted away from his touch, but he was on you again, attacking your sides with small caresses, and you were gasping for breath between laughs.

“Spence stop- ahh!” Your squeals stopped as you cried out in shock. It was small but you felt something tap against your stomach. Spencer stopped immediately upon seeing your expression change, and a serious look settled on him as he assessed you for any damage.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain anywhere, is the baby okay?” He shot out the questions rapidly, one after the other, barely leaving space to catch his own breath from the laughter of earlier.

It happened again and you put a hand to your stomach, finally realising what’s going on.

“I think I just felt her kick. Spencer, I think I just felt the baby kick.” You couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across your face, as much as you couldn’t help the tear that dropped from your eye as your hand rested against your belly again, scared to move for fear that the baby wouldn’t communicate with you again.

“What? Now? Can I- Can I try and feel it, too?” His hands hesitated at first but when you enthusiastically nodded and used your other hand to put him close to yours, you could feel his eagerness to feel the small kicks of your daughter as well.

Almost as if she was waiting for him, as soon as his hand was in the right position, your little girl kicked again, almost as if screaming “I’m here mommy and daddy,” for the two of you to hear.

“I think she’s trying to tell us not to have fun without her,” Reid whispered in your ear, kissing your tear streaked cheek, and using his free hand to rub them away from the other side of your face.

“I am so thankful everyday for this gift you have given me. And for the record, the gift isn’t the baby. The gift is the overwhelming happiness you bring to my life, and the beauty you make me see in this world. The fact that you’re going to be the mother of my child gives me the confidence to get up and go to work every morning because I know that there is joy and there is kindness and there are beautiful people in this world, and you are one, and she will be, too.”

His attempts to dry your tears are now completely vanquished as you let your emotions run wild, but you almost laugh when you realise that his eyes are just as glassy as yours, and you both sit there, overwhelmed by the pure, unadulterated joy that a small kick from a child who has yet to be given a name has bought you.

[ireadwithmyears]

Hello there, I hope you have had a restful day so far...also, is it okay if I request a story with Commander Wolffe to take care of my need to 'Not Fall Into Despair' with the current state of the world?

I think I'm okay with this just being a friendship/platonic fic as well, as I haven't been in much of a romantic mood lately.

Anywhoo, hope I did this correctly, and best wishes to you and yours!

Coffee

Cover Me in Sunshine

Pairing: Commander Wolffe and Fem Reader (platonic)

Word count: 2.6 K

For my 300 follower milestone event Closes February 27th

Tags/warnings: domestic fluff, comfort, mentions of doomscrolling and brief descriptions of events that include canon-typical violence, forehead kisses

Summary: with the galaxy at war, it’s easy for you to become wrapped up in each new world of horrors that awaits you, seemingly every day. Sometimes, you can’t just spare these events a passing glance. You can’t just let them go and carry on with your life knowing that they are happening. So instead, you spiral, and doomscroll, and stop attending to even your most basic of needs until someone, a certain commander who will never admit it, but misses the sunshiny presence you bring to his life, arrives to pull you out of your despair.

Authors note: thank you so much for requesting this. Upon reading it back, it feels a little bit simplistic. But I’m hoping that this short but sweet simple act of comfort and care can give you even just a moment of peace during these exhausting and emotionally draining times. Much love.💖

Doomscrolling used to be one of your late-night, once every few months, something particularly bad had happened in the galaxy kind of habits.

With the war dragging on and more and more planets being forced into a cycle of unending conflict, something particularly bad seemed to be occurring every single day, and with you mostly working from home, your once every few months, occasional late night habit had transformed into more of an around-the-clock, inescapable waking nightmare of constant information, overload, and stress.

In between work meetings, you would catch glimpses of the holonews reporting on an endless supply of food shortages, see smoking remains that featured in the aftermath of a Separatist bombing, and civilian homes that had been reduced to little more than dust.

Right now, you should be eating your lunch...or wait, is it dinner time?

You’re not sure. You don’t even bother lifting your head from where you’ve been scrolling on a social media feed for what feels like hours now, because despite the constant influx of horrors you watch unfolding in front of you from the comfort of your couch, you can’t seem to turn your eyes away.

Not when a video shows a line of droids marching out a long line of civilian hostages. Not when, with clearer footage, you’re able to see that all being held are children. And certainly not when the line of droids holds each child at blasterpoint, the weapons a large, looming threat pressed against their small, fragile heads as soon as the clones and Jedi arrive to stage a rescue.

It makes you sick and yet you keep watching, scrolling until all you can feel is a numb, detached exhaustion.

“Well, sunshine.”

The voice is a slow, bemused drawl entering from the doorway of your living room. 

“Don’t you look like shit.”

Your heart momentarily stops, eyes widening as you jump up, not even registering your stiff muscles cracking in protest once you’re on your feet staring up at the tall, imposing figure that blocks the entrance to the room.

“W-Wolffe?” you stammer, your heart still hammering. “When, when did you get home? How did you get in?”

Despite his grumpy and somewhat caustic outward appearance, you had somehow clicked when the two of you met at 79’s. He was a friend, and a loyal, good one at that. You had slowly become closer, and when the dark circles around his eyes grew more pronounced and you could tell he needed space, you invited him over to crash in your guest room whenever he needed time away from the barracks so he could have some privacy and breathing room away from his many brothers.

He was welcome to stay whenever he was on leave, and by now he knew that. But, though your apartment had an unofficial open door policy for him, you hadn’t given him a spare key.

“I’ve been back for two days, which you might have known if you had bothered to check your comm,” he says, folding his arms as his eyes sweep a lazy trail around the room. You duck your head, suddenly embarrassed because you know it’s a mess, and unlike your usual, on-top-of-it self, you had let tidying fall to the wayside. “And as for how I got in, the door was unlocked,” he continues, raising his eyebrows, tight with disapproval.

The door was...oh, now that’s not good.

You visibly deflate, and he must somehow sense it because he steps forward, expression softening slightly. 

“Here,” he says quietly, handing you a previously unnoticed paper shopping bag. “Go take a bath, sunshine. I hate to say it, but you really do look like you need one.”

You halfheartedly glare at him even though it’s true. While you’ve been intently watching the galaxy dissolve and turn into steaming piles of shit right before your eyes, you can’t remember the last time you summoned the energy to take even a quick shower. You nod your head numbly, accepting the bag and turning to exit the room before Wolffe calls.

“I’ll be taking this,” he says, easily swiping your comm. 

“Wolffe,” you protest, immediately spinning around to glare up at him.

“I know what you’re doing,” he says, holding firm, his arms folded across his chest. “Trust me, whatever nightmarish thing that’s happening around the galaxy that you’ve decided to fixate on needs to be put down.”

He reaches out, giving your shoulders a light shake. 

“I know it’s hard,” he says, his voice gruff but his hands giving your shoulders a warm, sympathetic squeeze. “But you need to give yourself time to step away and take care of yourself, even if just for a bit.”

You let out a sigh, still continuing to glare as if you have any actual hope of breaking through his hard resolve before turning, wordlessly making your way down the hall and closing the door to your fresher.

*

It is perhaps a distinct token of your current emotional state that when you open the shopping bag to find several of your favorite bath bombs from a shop the two of you had stumbled into whilst helping Wolffe shop for civvies, a prominent lump begins to form in your throat, your lip wobbling as you stare down at the simple yet clearly thought out gift.

With a drawn-out sigh, you gingerly run your fingers through your hair, wrinkling your nose.

Even though you don’t want to, you know it’s far past time for it to be properly washed. You don’t have the energy to do much, but you manage to summon enough to haul yourself into the shower and at least use some shampoo. Then you pile it all up at the top of your head, tie it up and out of the way, and with the help of Wolffe’s gift, you run yourself a bath.

You stay in there…for quite a long time.

You almost fall asleep at one point. But Wolffe, who you can hear wandering around your apartment, magically seems to sense when that’s about to happen and breaks you out of your stupor with three sharp taps to the door and a muffled, “I really don’t want to have to break any of your ribs if you drown in there and I have to perform CPR,” which makes you jump, and your eyes fly open. It’s followed by a much quieter, “I’m just stepping out to get food. You might want to come out soon so you can eat while it’s still warm.”

This is enough to coax you out of the water’s warm, sleepy depths. Bubbles slide down your frame as you rise, and you take your time towelling yourself dry then dress in something soft and comfortable, watching as the remnants slowly disappear down the drain before you exit.

“When was the last time you had a full meal?” Wolffe asks as you emerge from the fresher to the smell of takeout from your favorite restaurant.

He’s unpacking the takeout bags at the table, and when your only response is for your stomach to let out a rather loud growl, he rolls his eyes, looking up at you. 

“Figured,” he mutters. “That about answers my question.”

“I’m supposed to be hassling you about that,” you protest, dropping into a seat across from him as he hands you your food. 

It had become a long-running question, asking him when the last time was that he had eaten something that wasn’t a ration cube whenever he showed up on leave, and you weren’t used to this reversal of roles.

He only scoffs, pushing a fork and knife towards you and watching as you begin to eat. 

You look around as you eat, noticing that whilst you were in the bath, Wolffe has been tidying up around the apartment. Garbage is no longer scattered along the rug, and clean dishes have been neatly arranged on a drying rack.

“You cleaned?” you ask, slightly embarrassed and ashamed that he’s caught you in this state, even worse that he’s taken it upon himself to clean up your mess.

“Don’t mention it,” he says with a shrug. “I was bored and needed something to keep myself occupied while you were in there. Speaking of which...”

He rises to his feet, moving over to one of your counters. 

“Your pantry is in need of a restock, and I found these on the counter,” he says, holding up a bundle of overripe bananas.

“So?” you ask, not comprehending. “I’ll probably have to throw those out.”

“Oh, Force,” Wolffe says with an exaggerated groan, leaning back against the counter. He’s used to you being the optimistic, creative one, and he knows that if you were in a better headspace, you’d be singing a very different tune. Right now, he has to fill both of those shoes for you, and he doesn’t consider himself to be particularly creative or optimistic.

“If we go shopping, you can pick up some ingredients to turn these,” he brandishes the bananas once more, “into a fresh loaf of banana bread.”

“Are you trying to get me to go grocery shopping just because you have a craving, Wolffe?” you tease, and he ducks his head, his cheeks reddening.

“No, that isn’t…that’s not,” he shakes his head, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Answer me this, sunshine,” he says, regaining his usual stoicism. “When is the last time you actually left the house, even just for a short walk?”

Your silence, long and drawn out as you stall by taking time to chew on your food, is answer enough.

“Fine,” you say in a defeated huff. “I’ll go.” 

You look up at him, a small smirk spreading across your face as you fold your arms, sensing an opportunity. 

“But you have to carry the bags home.”

“Deal,” Wolffe says after a pause, and, smug bastard that he is, he still looks quite pleased with himself at procuring your agreement to actually go outside.

*

Wolffe, true to his word, carries all of your groceries home for you then organizes each into their respective places within your pantry.

You don’t tell him how much of a relief it was and how nice it felt to have the warm sun against your skin, or how just inhaling the fresh, outside air allowed you to breathe a little easier than you have in what feels like days. But, catching the look on his face as he watches you bustling around your kitchen and preparing to bake once you’re back inside, he notices anyway.

Baking has always been a form of stress relief for you. It keeps you focused to be engaged in something with so many of your senses. Your sight, your hands, even the smell of the ingredients as you mix them together all keep you grounded in a reality that is safe, predictable, and comforting.

Wolffe argues that he won’t be of much help. He has no idea how to do anything around the kitchen, but with some coaxing, you discover that even as he grumbles that he’s going to mess the whole thing up, he really is quite the fast learner, and before you know it, he’s whisking ingredients together, watching with an intent focus as they begin to combine.

Once the banana bread has been prepped, you carefully slide it into the oven, Wolffe setting a timer on the stove.

By the time the 50 minutes is almost up though, you’re on your couch, and despite not really having done much in the grand scheme of things, you find yourself feeling somewhat drained. When the timer starts to beep from your kitchen, you move to get up, but Wolffe stops you, gently laying a hand over your knee.

“I’ll get it,” he says, rising to his feet.

“Make sure to cut yourself a slice,” you call after him, only earning a small grunt in response. But when he returns moments later, he’s carrying two plates, uncharacteristically delicate as he sets one beside you where you’ve sprawled yourself out on the couch.

“Careful,” he says, setting his plate down on the coffee table. “It’s still hot. Take small bites.”

You nod your head, and even though you’re very tempted to wolf down the whole thing at once, you heed his advice, taking small, cautious bites, eyes closing as the familiar, gooey taste floods your senses.

“Mm,” you sigh in delight, savoring each mouthful, because it always tastes the best when it’s fresh out of the oven. You and Wolffe eat in comfortable silence, and when you’re done, he carefully takes your plate, stacking it on top of his.

“I should clean those,” you mumble, though the idea of getting up to even throw those in the sink, let alone everything that you used while baking, seems impossible at the moment. 

“You will do no such thing,” Wolffe declares, his jaw set, and you think, stubborn, that one. Always so stubborn, and yet, right now, you don’t have the energy to argue with him.

He gets up, and you can hear plates clattering against each other as he moves around your kitchen. You allow yourself to zone out, eyes drifting close. When they open again, Wolffe is there, standing over you with his arms laden with blankets.

“You did my bedding?” you ask, stifling a yawn as you inhale the scent of the freshly laundered linens.

“Uh huh,” Wolffe drawls, “and they’re still warm from the dryer.”

He promptly dumps all of them on top of you, and you gasp, caught off guard even as you let out a small giggle, sighing and melting into the pile of warm, soft, cozy blankets that have puddled around you. Wolffe kneels on the ground, carefully straightening them out and making sure you’re securely tucked in, your eyes already closing as he bundles you up.

“Wolffe?” you ask, your voice quiet, slightly dazed. When he lets out a soft “mm?” in response, you continue. “Everything is bad. Like, it’s awful, all the time. The galaxy is just...a kriffing disaster.”

You swallow, suddenly feeling guilty that you’re rambling on about this. It doesn’t feel like you’ve really earned the right to. After all, he’s out there fighting it, witnessing it all firsthand, and you were just here, doing nothing but watching it all unfold. But when you crack an eye open, tentatively daring to glance up at Wolffe, his expression can only be described as soft, eyes intent with understanding and something almost...out of place and melancholy. You hesitate before continuing.

“How do you, I mean, how…how are we supposed to even make it through this?” you ask, squeezing your eyes shut.

You feel small, so utterly, ridiculously small, and you hate how useless it all makes you feel.

Wolffe lets out a long, slow breath. For a long moment, he’s quiet, then you feel his hand take yours, fingers twining together, giving yours a gentle squeeze.

“Day by day, sunshine,” he says, and despite how ragged and rough his voice suddenly sounds to your exhausted ears, in a way, it’s almost comforting to know that he’s exhausted, too—that you’re not alone in feeling so entirely weighed down with defeat.

He leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead before straightening, tucking the blankets more securely beneath your chin and watching you as your eyes flutter closed once more. 

When he speaks again, his voice is quiet. It’s a whisper and a promise, and it carries the weight of a soft, yet determined vow.

“We’ll make it day by day.”

•Thank you to @sweetmelodygraphics for these dividers. •If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a reblog and/or comment. I really appreciate them.

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Good omens AU part 2

this is continuing on from part one of my good omens small town AU, so if you haven't seen part one, go check it out now!

all the kids in small towns kinda know each other, and since there were not many other children around, Raphael and Aziraphale grew up alongside Gabriel, Micheal, Uriel and Muriel ('iel' names were trending, okay?)

Gabriel was the only son of the council chairperson, which made him consider himself to be far more important than he actually was. He taunted both Aziraphale and Raphael throughout their childhoods, but never let any of the town adults see his cruel side - to every but his peers, he was a perfect little angel. (pun very much intended.) To make matters (read: his ego) worse, he started working for the town post office in highschool, and eventually became known as the 'town's messenger.' He had a bad habit of reading people's mail before he delivered it, and used that information to blackmail the other kids into silence about his bullying. Aziraphale would go on hour-long rants to Raphael about how much he hated Gabriel, and he would always feel bad about what he said afterwards until the next time Gabriel did something horrible.

Micheal was Raphael's step-sister, older than him by a couple of years, and Gabriel's cousin. She was the highschool valedictorian, something that she loved to remind Raphael of, and the council's employee of the month for 3 years in a row. She threw herself into her career as a council member the moment she graduated, and from a young age saw herself as superior to everyone in this godforsaken town. She dreamed of leaving for the big city in search of bigger and better opportunities to boss people around, but for some unknown reason, stayed put year after year. Uriel reckoned it had something to do with the dark-haired fisher's apprentice called Dagon who lived on the other side of the track with her brother Hastur, but despite the number of bets they have on it, we'll never truly know....

Uriel was the principal's child, and they are considered to be the one of, if not the smartest, kid in town. They were also probably the closest with Aziraphale, aside from Raphael, of course, and treated the pair with a polite sort of distance that they afforded to almost everyone they met. The exception of this was Muriel, who they tended to treat as a slightly odd younger sister, who they were known to be frosty protective of. They graduated with the highest grades in the class, and was offered a council job by Micheal. Surprising pretty much everyone, however, they declined, opting instead to take a teaching job at the highschool. On the side, they run the town's newspaper, Paradise Times. They use the paper to inform the town, yes, and have been known to occasionally help small business attract customers, but they also have the ability to quietly and mercilessly turn the entire town against any individual who wrongs them (or Muriel.) It's said that there are two people in town you do not want to get on the bad side of: Micheal and Uriel - one will ruin your career, and the other will destroy your social standing. Underneath that cold exterior, however, Uriel treats those close to them with an understanding sort of kindness that few people in this town seem to possess.

And, finally, Muriel - the baby of the town, and the daughter of the local general store owners. They're about 5 years younger than the other kids, and, as a result, was often excluded from the social circle throughout school. Once graduated, they shocked the town and their parents by choosing to become one of the only two police officers for miles. They've grown up a lot since their days of hovering around the bigger kids on the playground, and while they are rarely seen without a truly cheerful grin plastered across their face, they also don't have a problem with reminding people that they're not just a little kid anymore.

And there you have it, folks! Sorry about the long post, but once I started writing I couldn't stop lol

Let me know if there's anything you want to see in this AU next :D

[naughtyneganjdm]

Naughty or Nice - Chapter 4

Summary: Y/N inadvertently gets closer to Negan and his children while also distancing herself further from her family.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Maggie, Glenn, Greene Family, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51464518/chapters/130908127

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, angst, small amounts of smut, etc.

Notes: Thanks for taking the time to read. If you celebrate today, I hope you have a nice day. This is a gift for you if you are bored and need a distraction as well. I appreciate all of you.

It had been a long time since Negan had felt like a teenage boy in love. Yet, with Y/N sitting over him with her fingers hooked with his while they talked, he felt like he did when he was a kid falling in love with Lucille all over again. Between her laughter and her expressions while she asked questions about his life, Negan found himself absolutely smitten with her.

“Favorite color?” Y/N listed off another question making Negan’s nose wrinkle in amusement. “Come on, you spent forever asking me questions. Now it’s my turn.”

“I know, I know. These are serious fucking questions,” Negan teased her, a rumble of laughter falling from his throat with her fingers hooking tighter with his. “Black or red. Most of my attire is black so it’s probably black, but there is something about red that I like.”

“I feel like I probably knew that answer,” she teased him getting more comfortable over him while they learned things about one another. “Favorite drink?”

“Coke. The soda,” Negan answered her, tipping his head back into the pillows from where they were at. “If I’m trying to be healthy, I’m just going to go with water. The coke just sometimes helps me from smoking. I also live on coffee.”

“What’s your favorite kind of coffee?” she followed up with finding herself smitten with the man beneath her while his thumb stroked at her pulse point.

“I like variety. I just need a lot of caffeine to get me through,” Negan informed her with a loud sigh. “I pretty much live on coffee, Coca-Cola and cigarettes. Candy sometimes too.”

“Sounds extreme,” she teased him, bobbing her head when Negan shrugged his shoulders. “Are the cigarettes a stress relief for you?”

“I tried to stop. I really did, but it’s hard,” Negan answered with a long sigh, his dimples sinking in when he thought about all the times he tried to stop in the past for his kids and Lucille. “It’s really the only bad thing I do. Well…for the most part. I tried, but nothing works. It was a bad habit I started in high school and it just never left me.”

“I see,” she hummed adjusting her positioning over him. “What about your favorite food?”

“That kind of switches up too,” Negan knew that he wasn’t giving her the best answers, but they were the most truthful. “I enjoy pizza, hot dogs…occasionally I’m in the mood for some good sushi. I do enjoy lobster rolls when I get the chance to have them.”

“A man of taste,” she snickered leaning down enough to steal a quick kiss from his lips that had him humming out. “Was Lucille the first woman you slept with?”

“She was,” Negan responded against her lips, pulling back enough so that his big eyes were locked with hers. “We were teenagers. Madly in love. And then we kind of fell apart, but time always brought me back to her. What about you? Was Glenn your first?”

“God no,” she snickered, her eyes turning somewhat serious while she thought about the question. “I never found something like what you had with Lucille. So it always makes me happy to hear about things like that. I’m just sad about what happened to her.”

“That’s not your fault,” Negan’s eyebrows furrowed, his lips parting when he thought about Lucille. “No one ever expects to get cancer. Unfortunately, it was pancreatic cancer and it happened so fast. We were told the survival rate was really low, but I was hoping because Lucille was the strongest woman I ever knew she would be able to beat it. I prayed a lot. More than I ever had in my life. It really just taught me to appreciate every moment we have in this life because we don’t know how much time we have left. Because eventually, if you don’t, you find yourself missing out on the things that you could have had all along.”

“Jesus,” she frowned, a lump growing in her throat hearing Negan’s confession to her about his wife. Loosening her fingers with one of his hands, she extended her hand out to sweep in over his cheek in a tender caress. “I’m so sorry.”

“Me too,” Negan whispered, turning into her hand to press a kiss over the inside of her palm. “I think you two would have gotten along very well. She was awesome. Your personalities from what I’ve learned about you are a lot alike. Just two really incredible, badass women that know their worth and just light up a room when they are in it.”

Gazing up at the lights that Y/N had put up in the attic for him, Negan pointed toward them and cracked a smile, “Literally.”

“I feel bad that I never took the time to know you. I just thought you were this guy that hated me because I took the job that you wanted,” she brushed her fingers throughout Negan’s hair, her eyes showing the emotion that she felt for him in that moment. “There is so much more to you than what I thought there was.”

“There is still a lot to learn,” Negan used his free hand to reach up to grasp her jaw between his thumb and index finger. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still an infuriating pain in the ass at times. Don’t think I’m not. I can be the biggest asshole. I have a swearing problem and the humor of a teenage boy. But there are a lot of layers here.”

“No kidding,” she smirked enjoying the way that his thumb caressed over her jawline. Sighing, she lowered down in over Negan and cuddled her head in against his chest. Almost immediately Negan wrapped her up in his arms to hold her, his chin cuddling in over the top of her head. Listening to the sounds of his strong heartbeat, she sighed and bit down on her bottom lip. “Negan? What’s wrong with Maggie?”

“What do you mean?” Negan’s fingers caressed up and over the lengths of her back, leading to her neck while she got comfortable over him.

“Maggie was always the perfect one. Everyone loved Maggie. Everyone,” she educated Negan about the past with her sister. “I never hated Maggie, she really was the whole package. Beautiful, outgoing, charming…”

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with Maggie,” Negan began, a loud exhale falling from his throat when the idea of his girlfriend was fresh on the mind. “Maggie is beautiful and there are a lot of good things about her. I just…when you know, you know. And I never felt that spark with her. I enjoy having her around, but I know it’s more so a case of I like not feeling lonely. I love Maggie, but I’m not in love with Maggie. I know that sounds awful. It’s just there are some people you connect with, but not in a way where you feel like you are meant to be with that person.”

“And why do you think I’m that person?” she leaned back, pressing her hand in over his chest to steal a look up at him. All of this perplexed her. When it came to it, anyone in her life that knew both her and Maggie always picked Maggie. “You’re so convinced that there is something here.”

“Because last night, I felt that spark. Fuck, it hit me like a bag of bricks,” Negan responded, his fingers sweeping in over the side of her face. Everything he said seemed so sincere and it took her breath away. No one in her life really ever said the things to her that Negan was saying. “When you meet that person, you feel physical pain when you’re not with them. After you walked out of that car, I was in pain because I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to see you. When you texted me last night, I was smiling so much that Beau asked me if something good happened at work because I looked happier than I usually did. Most of my life, I put on this fake smile,” Negan flashed the charming, bright smile that he always had on his face before exhaling and shaking his head, “but it’s usually fake. It’s a façade. I hide my pain behind these fucking dimples and this smile. But last night, it was real. And my boy caught onto it because he is more perceptive than anyone I know. Once you and I connected…I just know this is it.”

“It’s been one day,” she reminded him and he shrugged. It was something she also had to remind herself. Yes, she had known Negan for a few months, but they really hadn’t connected on a personal level until last night.

“I don’t care,” Negan breathed out, his fingers brushing her hair out of her face. “I know how I feel. I know it’s wrong and I feel…bad, but Maggie shouldn’t be with someone that doesn’t feel that special feeling that I’m describing. And I don’t think Glenn deserves to be led on either.”

“Glenn is such a good guy,” she noted, her sigh loud when she laid her head back down over Negan’s chest. “There is nothing wrong with Glenn either. That’s why I always thought the problem was me. Why would I not be satisfied with someone who is perfect?”

“Like I said, someone can be perfect. But that doesn’t mean they are perfect for you,” Negan responded, his heartrate growing faster the more he thought about things. Being with Maggie was Negan settling. And that was not what he deserved in life. “I know it might feel like we’re rushing things here Y/N, but fuck…after how I lost the last person I care about, why would I want to waste any time with someone I feel so strongly for?”

“I’m not supposed to like you like this,” she gasped feeling Negan rolling her over onto her back so that way he could crawl in over her pinning her beneath him. Having Negan’s eyes on hers like they were took her breath away. “Everything says we shouldn’t be together.”

“Yet here we fucking are,” Negan slurred, his fingers curling around the side of her neck and his thumb drawing out over her jawline. “I’ll deal with the repercussions and I will take them head on. Because you…you take my fucking breath away. In all the right ways. Even the first time I saw you…God, you are so fucking beautiful…”

“You and your ridiculous fucking dimples,” she huffed, lifting up to bring them together to eagerly kiss him with all the passion that had been building up between them. Cupping his face in her palms, she knew that every time he opened his mouth, she found herself falling harder and harder for this man. “It’s not fair the way you make me feel.”

“Nothing is ever fair,” Negan groaned when she nibbled at his bottom lip. Hooking his arm around her waist, he brought her up closer to him and softly bucked up against her. “But we have to make the most of things.”

“You’re very persuasive,” she moaned out, lifting her head to see that his hips were rubbing up against her again and again in slow, forward movements. The friction felt incredible having her heart skip a beat. Kisses were pressed down the side of her neck while Negan’s hands started to open her pants up. “It’s probably a bad thing that we can’t keep our hands off each other, Negan.”

“You say it’s a problem, I think it’s a good fucking thing,” Negan growled, tugging the material of her jeans further down her hips while she worked with his pants again to get them open. Hovering his lips over hers and balancing his weight on his hands, he smiled and shook his head. “It means we both like each other a lot. How can that be a problem?”

Scrambling to get his pants down his waist, she gasped when Negan adjusted her body easily on the bed crawling in over her. Her knees were locked with her pants still around them keeping her thighs close together when Negan led his hard cock toward her body. Tracing the tip through her folds had her crying out at the sensation.

“Please…” she begged hearing him snicker in response, his eyelashes fluttered with a wicked smirk tugging at his lips. Tapping the swollen head of his cock against her clitoris had her whimpering and he adjusted his body to move in over her. Right when Negan was about to go forward with what they both wanted, she heard the sound of a car outside. Shoving into Negan, she heard him grunt when he fell off her and onto the ground in a thud. Pulling her pants up, she couldn’t help but laugh that she had managed to knock Negan completely off the bed. Looking down over the side of the bed, she saw that Negan was pulling his pants up his body, his jaw flexing while he stared up at her. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You’re stronger than I thought,” Negan pouted lifting his hips up to pull his jeans back up over them. Adjusting, he attempted to press himself back into the tight confines of his jeans, but it was kind of hard with an erection. It hurt, but he knew that the sound of a car definitely meant everyone was home since they were in the middle of nowhere.

“Do you hate me now?” she wondered, her eyebrows bouncing up when Negan got to his knees. That question amused Negan, his snort loud enough for her to hear when he leaned forward. Brushing his lips over hers, Negan let the kiss linger. Every kiss from him took her breath away. A kiss from Negan was one of the most addictive things she had experienced. And that worried her.

“No, but this hurts,” Negan looked down with a huff, standing up from the floor and looking down at the bulge in his pants. Shifting, Negan wiggled his hips and pressed his hand in over his groin to adjust his body. Shaking his head, he knew that it wasn’t working and grumbled under his breath. “Fuck. I need to run and go put cold water or something on this before the kids run in here and make it weird.”

“The kids?” she heard the front door opening of the house. It didn’t give her much time to think before Negan was scrambling down the stairs in attempts to rush to the bathroom before anyone got up here. And it was a good thing he did that. There were footsteps heard almost immediately after she got up from the bed to start going back to putting the decorations on the tree that she had previously started doing for Negan.

“Dad! The food was absolute shit, but they had this pie that was really good, so I got Maggie to buy us a whole pie that…” Beau’s voice was heard as he moved up the steps to Negan’s room, his words coming to a halt when he reached the top of the stairs. “Holy shit.”

“Oh, hey,” Y/N gazed back over her shoulder at Beau who was holding onto a big white box. “Sorry about the food. I could have told you that the food was crap. It’s better in the small town that isn’t far away from here, but you’re right about the pies. They are pretty good.”

“Hey,” Beau didn’t know what to say, eyeing over Y/N while she was in his father’s room setting up some decorations. “Did you do all of this?”

“Uh, yeah,” she spoke up, throwing her hand up in the air to point to the decorations. This was awkward. Not because of Beau, but because her face was flushed over and her heart was hammering in her chest. Thankfully things didn’t get further with Negan because then this would have been really uncomfortable. “I wanted to help your father feel more at home with things.”

“My mom used to do things like this,” Beau informed Y/N finally getting up into the attic with her grasping tightly to the box that he had in his hands. There seemed to be a sense of awe in his eyes while he looked everything over. “Every room in our house was decorated like this. This is really cool. It’s been a while since I’ve seen something like it.”

“It sounds like your mom was a really cool person,” Y/N noted to Negan’s son, her heart racing knowing that she was just in a rather promiscuous position with Beau’s father not much earlier. And now that she was alone with Beau when Negan was downstairs doing God knows what in the bathroom, it made things complicated, but she was doing her best to act normal. “I’m glad that something like this could bring memories of her back for you.”

“Everything reminds me of her it seems. Especially around Christmas,” Beau shrugged his shoulders and moved over to set the pie box down on the table. Moving beside Y/N he looked down at the box of decorations and pointed to them. “You need help?”

“I’d love help,” she responded with a nod of her head, gazing over Negan’s son who seemed excited to be able to do something like this. “Did you and your mom used to do things like this?”

“All the time. She went crazy with decorations, but we loved it. It made everything more magical,” Beau answered her with a bright, vibrant smile that almost matched what she knew was Negan’s. “It’s why I feel bad for Erin. She was really young when my mom passed away, so I don’t know if she will remember the fun that we had. My mom loved Halloween too, so things lingered a little longer than they probably should have, but when it was time for Christmas decorations, there wasn’t a room in the apartment that wasn’t lit up.”

“I understand your mom doing that. I do the same thing, it just makes me feel more at home. Christmas doesn’t really feel like Christmas if your house isn’t covered in copious amounts of decorations,” Y/N muttered hearing Beau snicker and nod his head. “Do you want to decorate the room that you are staying in?”

“Is there stuff to do that?” Beau wondered, his eyes seemingly excited at the idea. “I mean, we would have to do it with Erin’s room too. If you have enough for just one, we can do it for her. She’s younger and it’s more important for her to be able to have something like this.”

“I think we can manage to pull enough together for both of you,” she smirked hearing how eager Negan’s son was to make sure that his younger sister had a good experience. “Are you more of a reindeer guy or a snowman guy? I think we have a lot of decorations with those two things. We can give each room a theme.”

“Probably reindeers,” Beau replied and she gave him a firm nod. Looking around the room, Beau let out a huff and realized that he completely forgot that his father wasn’t even in the room. “Where is my dad?”

“He had to run to the restroom,” Y/N answered, her throat tensing up knowing that Negan was going to be having some issues for a while. Accepting the answer, Beau went back to decorating the tree and she sighed. “You look so much like your dad.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?” Beau’s nose wrinkled and it made her smile. “You might hate my dad, so that’s why I’m asking.”

“It’s a good thing,” she half laughed with a shake of her head. “I don’t dislike your father. At all.”

“Also a good thing,” Beau noted, digging through the box of decorations to see what they had in them. “I look like my dad, Erin looks like my mom. Weird how that works.”

“I’ve never seen your mom,” Y/N realized that Negan had spoken about Lucille, but like he had mentioned last night, she had never made it around to the other side of his desk to actually see the photos that were in Negan’s office.

“I can fix that,” Beau motioned her to wait pulling out his cell phone from his pocket. Holding it up, Beau flashed on the screen to show her the image that was his background photo. It was a family photo that was likely taken in the fall with a younger Beau, Erin with Negan and Lucille.”

“She was beautiful,” Y/N complimented Beau’s mother leaning into get a better look at her. That wasn’t a lie. Lucille was beautiful and you could tell that everyone in the photo was close. It was a sweet moment and their family looked happy back then. Hell, even Negan looked happier back then. “You have some of her features too.”

“Thank you,” Beau sighed pushing his phone back into his pocket. “Is Annette your mother too?”

“She’s my stepmom,” Y/N answered with a nod of her head. “But she’s the only woman that has been in my life, so she is kind of my mother.”

“What happened to your mom?” Beau inquired and the sound of steps were heard. Looking back over her shoulder, Y/N saw that Negan was making his way back up with the two of them.

“She died after giving birth to me,” Y/N informed Beau hearing the loud exhale that fell from Beau’s throat. “I never really knew her. And I don’t really know what she looked like because my father doesn’t have any pictures around. He’s never really been big about showing things to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Beau stood still for a minute, unsure of what to do before stepping forward to give Y/N an unexpected hug. Standing there she lifted her head to look to Negan making sure it was okay. With a nod, Negan stayed back watching her lower her arms to wrap them around Beau to return the gesture. “Your mom is a big part of growing up. I’m sorry you weren’t able to experience that.”

“It’s not your fault,” she stammered, her head lowering with surprise at how sweet Negan’s son was being. Hearing his words drew her eyes to burn and she felt them damp. God, it had been so long since she had even thought about her mother. “I guess I learned to stop thinking about her because of my dad.”

“Your dad should have never done that,” Beau lifted his head, stepping back and away from Y/N. “He should have kept the memory of her alive in your heart. You’re part of her and you always will be. Maybe we can find a photo around here somewhere?”

“Beau?” Negan spoke up and it made Beau look over his shoulder at his father as Negan finally made it up to the top step. Unsure of how Y/N would react to what Beau was saying, Negan was trying to change the subject so she didn’t get hurt from his son’s innocent curiosity. “How’s it going kiddo?”

“I was just helping Y/N finish decorating this tree,” Beau pointed toward the tree and Negan pushed his hands into his pockets. “She said that she would help me decorate my room downstairs and also Erin’s. It will be like when we had Christmas with mom. With all of our rooms decorated.”

“That’s really nice of her,” Negan noted, his eyes connecting with Y/N’s when Beau went back to finishing putting up what he had for the tree. “Where is your little sister?”

“She is downstairs with Maggie and Glenn. I think Maggie wanted to show something to Glenn and she wanted to see too,” Beau waved his hand about in the air after he finished. Going over to the box that he brought for his dad, he handed Negan over the box and smiled. “They have your dinner and Y/N’s dinner downstairs, but I actually got this pie because I really liked it. It was the only thing that was actually good. You both can have some if you want. You should probably eat your dinner before it gets crazy cold.”

“Good idea kiddo,” Negan placed his hand in over the small of Beau’s back to help lead him toward the stairs. After Y/N put a star on top of the tree, she gave a final once over before nodding her head. “Let’s go eat.”

“Sure thing,” she went to follow Beau down the stairs, but Negan stopped her. Leaning in, Negan pressed a drawn out kiss over her cheek, his fingers brushing over her jawline after he pulled back. “What was that for?”

“For being good to my kid,” Negan whispered, his eyebrows bouncing up and his fingers hooking with hers to lead her down the stairs with him. At the bottom of the stairs, Beau was waiting for them and his hazel eyes fell upon the two of them holding hands. Gradually Negan’s fingers slipped from Y/N’s and Beau tipped his head to the side. “Lead the way young man.”

When they made their way downstairs, Glenn and Maggie were standing by the fireplace while Maggie held Erin in her arms. They were enthusiastically talking about something, but Beau was tugging them both toward the kitchen. Stumbling in attempts to catch up with his son, Negan felt Beau urging him down at the kitchen table and he chuckled. Beau did the same with Y/N before bringing them two takeout containers.

“Here is your food,” Beau looked over his shoulder around the kitchen. “Hey Y/N? Do you know where the plates are so I can get all of us a slice of pie?”

“Just let me do that for you kiddo,” she suggested getting up from the table urging Beau to sit at the other side of his father. Negan flipped open his takeout container to see that there were chicken tenders and fries inside.

“Trust me, this looked like it was the best,” Beau tapped the top of the table making Negan smirk when he stole a fry and plopped it into his mouth. Smirking, Beau stared out at Y/N as she moved around the kitchen to her father’s home trying to relearn everything. Sliding in closer to Negan, Beau spoke up in a whisper doing his best to hide his words from Y/N. “She reminds me of mom.”

“Hmm?” Negan looked back over his shoulder to see the way that Y/N was standing at the middle of the kitchen trying to plan out her next move. “Y/N?”

“I mean she probably doesn’t, but when I saw her decorating upstairs it reminded me of mom,” Beau explained, remaining quiet while Y/N moved around the kitchen to grab everything she needed for them to have pie. Y/N set two regular sized plates out for her and Negan for their dinners. Setting out three smaller plates for the pie, she cut a slice for each of them before holding her finger out. “What are you doing?”

“We’re going to need a piece for your sister,” Y/N responded and Beau immediately nudged Negan with his shoulder causing Negan to snicker.

“What?” Negan took another fry and chewed on it slowly when Beau looked excited about something. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Beau rolled his eyes and happily accepted the two plates that Y/N handed him of the pie. After she had everything on the table, Y/N pulled open her box to see that they had gotten her a sandwich of some kind. Negan eyed it over and she held out her box for him to see.

“You want to share?” she offered to him seeing Negan eyeball her food and his. Grabbing half of her sandwich, Negan grabbed half of his chicken tenders and gave them to her for them to share. Holding her finger up she motioned him to wait while she went to go grab ketchup for the fries. An inevitable smile tugged at Negan’s lips while he watched her, but Negan straightened his posture when he noticed that Beau was watching him while he was eating his pie that Y/N had given him. Sharing the small plate of ketchup that Y/N had brought for them, Negan cleared his throat and knew that his son was catching onto things and that wasn’t good.

“You two share meals a lot at work?” Beau interrogated them, poking at his plate with his fork watching both Negan and Y/N go for the sandwich first to eat. Negan looked to Y/N who swallowed down hard and shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t realize the two of you were so close.”

“Your dad and I just work on a lot of projects together,” Y/N answered back knowing that really didn’t answer Beau’s question. “We’re used to being around one another.”

“Mhmm…” Beau hummed when he took another big bite of the pie that Y/N had brought for him. Beau finished off his pie while Negan and Y/N ate their meals that they were sharing together. Once they made it to their pie, they heard the sound of movement in the kitchen.

“Daddy!” Erin’s voice called out and Negan slid his chair back, his arms holding out for Erin to jump into his arms. Giving his daughter a big hug, Negan nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck which had her giggling. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too baby girl,” Negan peppered her cheek with kisses before she wiggled out of his arms once Beau motioned her to come take a seat next to him so she could have the pie that Y/N had gotten for her. “Did you two have a good time with Maggie’s family?”

“It was kind of strange,” Beau was honest, his expressive eyebrows bouncing up. “We only knew Maggie there so it was weird being with a group of strangers. Glenn is really nice. And he knows a lot about video games. Him and Maggie seemed to get along well.”

“Oh?” Y/N’s eyebrow arched in curiosity watching Beau help Erin cut up her pie for her to eat.

“Hey, you two are down here,” Maggie’s voice interrupted that thought drawing their attention to the entrance of the kitchen. “I was about to come up and get you Negan.”

“Little man came and grabbed me,” Negan informed Maggie with a mouthful of the last bite of the pie that they had brought home. “You doing good?”

“Yeah. Glenn and I were just talking about that snow globe that I got when I was younger for Christmas,” Maggie turned her attention to Y/N who in return seemed surprised that Maggie was talking to her about something. “I guess Glenn’s family got him the same snow globe. You remember how much I loved that thing?”

“That’s cool,” Y/N offered up a tiny smile, nodding her head. Glenn made his way around the table, his hands squeezing softly over her shoulders. Tipping her head back, Glenn lowered down to press a faint kiss over her lips and it made Negan look down toward his plate with a discomfort flooding his body. “You having a good night honey?”

“Yeah, everyone is really friendly. They are going to watch some movies tonight. Apparently, Hershel takes a projector that he has and uses the whole wall as a screen,” Glenn described what he had learned to Y/N who smirked considering it was her own father that Glenn was talking about. “That should be cool.”

“Yeah, if you want to do that, I think that’s cool,” Y/N lifted her hand to place it in over Glenn’s to give it a supportive squeeze. “I promised Beau that I would help him decorate both his and Erin’s room for Christmas to help them feel at home here. While I do that, you can watch the movies with them if you feel comfortable.”

“Say what?” Erin looked between Beau and Y/N, a crooked smile tugging at her young features. “That sounds fun!”

“That’s very nice of you,” Maggie complimented Y/N on what she had just told them. “Do you need some help?”

“That’s up to you. I know you like movie nights,” Y/N pushed away from the table to look up at her older sister. A long exhale fell from her throat when Maggie reached her hand out and Y/N accepted it, giving it a small squeeze. “I think I can handle these kids. Dad has a lot of the lights still upstairs in the attic. I just ask you to take care of Glenn. Don’t let dad scare him too much.”

“He’s actually been really nice to me,” Glenn claimed with a tiny smile finding relief in knowing that Hershel was treating him good compared to what he had seen with Negan earlier. “I was worried after what he did with Negan, I would be next in the lineup.”

Negan grumbling under his breath had Maggie laughing and she moved around the table to step in behind him. Caressing her hands in over Negan’s shoulders, she slid them down over the center of his chest and leaned down to press a kiss against Negan’s cheek, “It’s okay baby.”

“I don’t know why that man hates me,” Negan frowned knowing that Maggie was Hershel’s favorite, but Hershel never really even knew Negan. So it didn’t make sense for Hershel to hate him so much. “By the end of this trip I’m sure that he will open up to you.”

“Good luck with that,” Beau snickered from where he was sitting and it made Maggie laugh before looking to Beau to hush him. “I’m just saying Maggie. That was intense what happened earlier. Your dad hates my dad and I don’t think that’s changing.”

“You feeling okay after everything?” Maggie questioned, her fingers stroking at the revealed skin over Negan’s chest. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“Thankfully I’m quick on my feet,” Negan responded knowing that while he was a little sore, he didn’t actually get physically hurt. “I think my pride is just down because of the fact I ended up face first in a pile of mud.”

“We all fall sometimes daddy. That’s okay,” Erin suggested and they all knew that Erin was too young to understand that Hershel was purposely trying to hurt Negan earlier. “I’ve done it before too. Sometimes those kind of things just happen,” Negan brought Erin’s hand up to place a delicate kiss over it. “Are we going to watch the movies tonight?”

“I think we need to help Beau and Y/N with the decorations honey,” Negan explained and Y/N shook her head, finishing off the pie that she had. “Are you sure?”

“I can handle it all on my own if all of you want to watch the movie. I don’t mind. I like that stuff,” Y/N offered to decorate the children’s rooms if they wanted to take in the movies that her father would play for Christmas.

“I’d like to help you,” Beau interjected letting them know how he felt about things. “I like doing that kind of stuff. I don’t mind if dad and Erin watch movies with everyone else. I think it would be cool.”

“I’m okay with that,” Y/N looked to Negan for permission who gave her a single nod. “And if you guys get sick of watching the movies, you can always come to help us. What do you think?”

“I think that sounds like a deal,” Negan leaned back toward where Maggie was holding onto him, but he outstretched his hand to place it over Y/N’s hand. Giving Y/N a wink, Negan sighed and pulled his hand back. “Thank you. That’s very nice.”

After they finished with dinner, Y/N made sure that everyone was comfortable before heading back up toward the attic to gather things. Beau followed along with her and he was rather quiet compared to earlier so she hoped he wasn’t getting nervous being around her alone. Beau suggested they do Erin’s room first, so that’s what they did. They put things up quickly before getting to Beau’s room where they seemed to linger a bit.

“What’s your favorite thing about Christmas?” Y/N spoke up and Beau looked over at her surprised that she was trying to make small talk with him. “You have to have a favorite thing, right?”

“I think my favorite things are more so the memories that I have,” Beau answered with a frown while he worked to help put the lights up around the room. “Baking cookies with my parents. Bringing out all of the boxes with my mom to go through things. Just sitting by the fire with my mom and having hot chocolate. Dad coming to get me and Erin when the Christmas presents were under the tree so we could be excited. He always made a big deal about it. They were so much fun.”

“That sounds really nice,” she commented on Beau’s memories seeing the way he took a minute to think about things, his dimples sinking in before smiling. “When I was younger, I was kind of the black sheep of my family. I always dreamt of those Hallmark movie families. You know?”

“I think that was my mom’s goal in life. For us to be like one of those sickeningly loving families,” Beau snickered, turning to face Y/N while she held onto the lights that were in her hands. “All of that sounds cool to me. You know? The small town, going to the events…it was fun. But of course, we lived in New York so we still got to do really cool stuff. All the time. It’s probably cooler than those small-town movies.”

“What do you want to do before Christmas? What would be your ideal list of things to do?” Y/N pushed for an answer seeing the way that Beau tipped his head to the side. Holding her finger up, she set things down on the bed and then moved for the desk to sit down. “Can I use this paper here?”

“Sure?” Beau moved over to the bed to take a seat on the edge of it, his fingers curling around it in curiosity. Y/N seemed to be writing something down and he cleared his throat uneasily. “What are you doing?”

“Give me a list of things you want to do before Christmas and we will try to get them done,” she suggested and it made Beau laugh. “What?”

“You don’t even know me,” Beau reminded her and she shrugged her shoulders. “Why would you do that for me?”

“Why not? I always wanted to have that tight-knit family like those in the movies and you miss doing things with your mom. Let’s make both things happen for us so Christmas can be special for both of us. Obviously, I’m not your mom, but I would like you to have that kind of magic back into your life for the holiday,” she offered and it made Beau’s hazel eyes get big with awe for what she said. “So have at it. Tell me what you want to do.”

“I want to make sugar cookies with Erin. The way that mom used to. Where it was messy and just fun,” Beau listed off the first thing he could think of, his head lowering when he gathered his thoughts and Y/N wrote it down. “I want to go ice skating at night under the stars. I want to go sledding and build a snowman as a family. Do they do events in the nearest small town?”

“They do,” she informed him with a small nod of her head. “They have a big Christmas tree where people get together and sing carols. They have Santa in town with some reindeer that they let the kids see. There is a family that has a farm out here with a lot of woods. They have a mile long walk where the woods is just filled with loads of lights and interactive things to do.”

“Can we do all that?” Beau whispered, his tone unsure and it made her smile faintly before nodding. “Are you sure? It’s not that many days until it’s Christmas.”

“We’ll make it happen,” she assured Beau with a shrug of her shoulders. “They have these really cool shops down at the center of the town where they have a lot of exciting things going on too. It’s not like the shops at Bryant park, but there are some cool interactive activities that you can do along with Erin.”

“That sounds fun,” Beau nodded his head about, rubbing his hands together. “I know it sounds stupid, but I just would do anything to get that kind of happiness that I did when I was with my mom. When it was all of us.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to bring back that joy that you had with your mother here, but if I can do things to make you and your sister happy…to give you some ounce of joy, then it’s worth it to me,” she whispered, lowering down the list that she had written for them. Looking down at the papers, she bit down on her bottom lip and sighed. “You like to paint, right?”

“I do,” Beau responded seeing her writing something else down on the paper that she had for him. “Why?”

“I was just thinking about something that I used to do as a kid. It’s not really a Christmas thing, but it really helped me in my time of sadness while I was stuck here,” she informed Beau, folding the paper up and sliding it into her pocket. “We’re gonna make all of this happen kiddo.”

“Thank you,” Beau gave her a weak smile before they went back to working on the decorations in his room. After a while, Beau stood beside Y/N at the center of his room once they were finished to get a look at everything. “So…you and my dad?”

“What about us?” she muttered, her eyes gazing upon the work that they did together.

“I never realized the two of you were so close,” Beau pointed out, rocking back and forth on his feet when he thought back to seeing the two of them holding hands earlier. Something seemed to change in Y/N’s eyes when Beau mentioned the two of them being close and it intrigued him. “I mean my dad always talked really well about you. Complimented you and your work ethic all the time.”

“I thought your dad hated me for a while,” she stated with a frown knowing that she was ignorant to the way things really were with Negan at first. “I don’t know if he told you, but our boss gave me the job that your dad wanted. A lot. So I thought he might hate me for that.”

“No, I don’t think he hates you,” Beau shook his head, his head tipping back and forth. “Yes, he was really upset when he didn’t get that job, but my dad got over it. I think he knows that he has a good job. That he gets paid well. After my mom, I just don’t think he takes things that deep. There is so much in the world to be upset about. That was not something that was worth ruining his life for.”

“Yeah,” she didn’t know how to respond to Beau so she just nodded her head about. “How do you feel about Maggie?”

“Should I be honest with you?” Beau didn’t know whether to answer her question legitimately or to lie. Hearing her laugh, he shrugged his shoulders and turned toward her. “I think Maggie is nice. But I don’t feel a bond or a connection to her. She’s hard to really click with. I think she gets an idea in her head and she can’t really get it out. Again, she’s really nice and she does good things, but…I don’t know.”

Beau seemed shy when it came to talking about Maggie. Maybe he was afraid of offending Y/N, but he wasn’t upsetting her at all. She just wanted to get a feel for how things were with Maggie and Negan’s son. If Beau loved Maggie, it would have only made her feel worse about what was going on with her and Negan.

“Do you want to go watch movies with your dad and your sister?” Y/N inquired, pointing toward the door that was open, but it was followed up with a sigh. “That’s a no?”

“Can we take another minute to just talk about things?” Beau proposed surprising her that he would want to talk to her. Thinking things over, she grabbed a pencil and one of his drawing pads. When she handed it to him, Beau tipped his head to the side. “What is this?”

“I will sit and talk with you if you draw for me. We’ll do a game. I’ll draw you, you draw me. We’ll pick two Christmas type items to add to the photo. What do you say?” she offered up a sense of something fun to keep Beau interested. It made him laugh, but he pulled his feet up onto the bed and rest back against the headboard. “I’ll give you, reindeers and penguins.”

“Okay. I’ll give you Christmas lights and a Santa hat,” Beau gave her the two items that he thought of first. Starting to sketch something, Beau’s face twisted when he kept looking up at her. “It’s probably not fair that I’m just a beginner and you are the second in charge at your company.”

“That means nothing. Some kids are more talented than I am,” she claimed while she got comfortable in the chair sketching the shape of Beau’s face out. “When did you pick up drawing?”

“I saw my dad doing it all the time and I think I wanted to be like him,” Beau declared thinking about his past of when he started to draw. “Dad would just draw stupid, silly things all the time. Both him and my mom would always put notes in my lunch for school. Other kids would tease me, but it never bothered me. I had parents that loved me and wanted me to know it. I thought that was cool.”

“That’s really sweet,” she found it charming hearing that about both Negan and his late wife. The way that Beau talked about his parents, she could tell that they were both incredibly loving with their children.

“I carry two notes on me. I have one from my dad when I did my first big play where I was the leading role and I have the last letter that my mom ever wrote me,” Beau exhaled loudly making Y/N lift her eyes to stare out at Beau who seemed conflicted with his emotions. “I don’t ever leave home without them.”

“I’m sorry Beau,” she spoke softly and it drew his eyes up from what he was drawing. “I can tell you were really close to your mom. I don’t understand things about this world. You losing your mom…it’s not fair.”

“Just like it’s not fair that your mother was taken away from you,” Beau speculated and it made her stop. It wasn’t often that she got to think about her mother, but on occasions when she did, she did often feel cheated with life. “It’s not your fault Y/N. You’re like me. We’re both broken, but we’re doing our best to make others happy.”

“You sound so much like your father,” she felt like she had been kicked in the gut when those words left Beau’s lips. It made her lower her drawing down and she shook her head. “You’re like a mini version of him.”

Hearing that made Beau lower his drawing pad and he cleared his throat uneasily, “You and dad are closer than people think, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know,” she felt embarrassed that she just blurt that out to Negan’s son damning herself for saying that. “We work together a lot. So I guess we could be viewed as pretty close sometimes.”

“Close enough for my dad to tell you that he was broken? And that you were broken too?” Beau muttered, shifting forward on the bed to stare out at her. There was a silence that surrounded them and Beau sighed. “Maggie doesn’t understand that. You know that?”

“Doesn’t understand what?” she tried to focus on something other than her relationship with Negan when she went back to sketching her drawing of Beau.

“That he’s still broken. My dad needs to be with someone that makes him happy. And it’s not Maggie. I just think he feels like he owes her something. That’s why we are here. He’s afraid that if he turns Maggie away, he’s going to be alone again,” Beau informed Y/N, his throat tensing up and he shook his head. Going back to his drawing, Beau knew it was a lot to put on a stranger but he didn’t often get to talk to someone who knew Maggie as well. “I don’t like Maggie for my dad. They make good friends, but she doesn’t make him happy like my mother did. He hides behind a fake smile. It’s not real. That’s why I don’t get why we’re here with Maggie’s family. It’s not true love like it was with my mom. There is something missing behind his eyes when he’s around her.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” she spoke quietly knowing that they had the door open and she didn’t know if people would be near to hear them.

“I have,” Beau responded with a frown, getting comfortable again. “I know he agrees with me. I just think he’s scared.”

“I understand that,” Y/N thought back on her own engagement. The only reason that she was engaged to Glenn was because she didn’t want to hurt him. Never did she think she would be engaged to Glenn. Like Negan, she just liked having the company. She wasn’t used to nice people and Glenn was very nice. At this point, she knew that she was Glenn’s first big relationship. “Sometimes adults do things because they feel like they must. I think that’s kind of where your dad is.”

“So you agree that him and Maggie shouldn’t be together?” Beau confirmed with her, but that question caught up with her and she didn’t know how to respond. “You don’t have to lie to me Y/N. Your secrets are safe with me.”

“No. I don’t think him and Maggie should be together,” she whispered lowering down the sketch again, her eyes narrowing while she stared out at Beau. “Not with the things that your father has said to me. I agree with you. I don’t think they fit well together.”

“I’m glad I’m not alone,” Beau bobbed his head about before going back to working on the project she gave him. “You’ve already bonded with me more than Maggie has. And I’ve known you for a day.”

“Like you said kid, people like you and me…we just click,” she gave Beau a wink which made him smirk. It took a while before she was done with her drawing and Beau finished not long after. “I’ll show you mine first and then you show me yours?”

Beau gave her a nod, holding his drawing pad close to his chest when she turned her drawing around to show Beau. It looked exactly like Beau, except she drew him with a Santa hat on his head and a necklace that had large bulbs to represent his request of Christmas lights. Sliding closer to the bottom of the bed, Beau couldn’t help but smile.

“Now I feel silly,” Beau turned his drawing around to show that he had drawn her more in a cartoon form wearing reindeer antlers. It was cute, but the first thing that really caught her attention was the penguin character that he had sitting on her shoulder in his drawing. “I could have done realism, but I went with what I was feeling right now. Which I guess was more cartoon like or comic?”

“Beau, it’s me,” she felt happiness sharing this moment with Negan’s son when she reached out for the drawing. Gazing it over, she was in awe of what he had actually done and she shook her head. “I love this. I can keep this?”

“You want it?” Beau was shocked that she wanted the drawing that he had done. “Really?”

“I do,” she watched Beau reach for the drawing pad to carefully pull the sheet of paper out. Going to hand it to her, she shook her head and nodded to it. “Please sign it for me. I want to keep this forever so when you are a big artist, I can say I have one of your originals.”

“Stop,” Beau snickered, his dimples becoming more prominent when he signed his name on the bottom right corner of the drawing. “It’s a silly drawing.”

“That I’m going to cherish,” she clung to the art and saw him nodding toward her paper.

“Can I keep yours?” Beau inquired, his eyebrows bouncing up and she nodded writing something on the drawing before handing it over to him. Reading what she wrote had his features turning very serious before a small smile tugged at his lips. “To Beau, your heart shines brighter than the sun. Never stop being you because you’re one in a million. You’re a shining star in the night sky.”

“I’m lame,” she informed him standing up from the chair that she was seated in, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m going to go put this in my room so I don’t lose it. And then we should probably go make sure everyone is okay.”

“Yeah,” Beau agreed with her, sitting at the center of his bed when she left his room. Clearing his throat, he folded the drawing up and reached for the wallet that he carried. Putting it in his wallet, he stood up from the bed in time to meet Y/N at the door.

Once they made it downstairs together, they saw that Negan had fallen asleep at his corner of the couch with Erin cuddled into his chest watching the movie that was on the wall with big eyes. Maggie was in the middle talking to Glenn who was sitting at the other end.

“How is it going?” Y/N sat on the arm of the couch, reaching out to caress over Glenn’s shoulders. Her touch made him smile, his head tipping back so he could stare up at her. “Is Maggie treating you good?”

“Yeah, it’s been nice,” Glenn explained, his fingers reaching up to hook with hers. Moving around the couch, Beau knelt down and took a seat in front of the couch resting his head against Negan’s knee. The touch made Negan’s eyes flutter to an open. Lifting his head, Negan saw that it was Beau resting against his knee and he smiled. Brushing his fingers through his son’s hair, Negan got more comfortable cuddling Erin in closer to him. “It’s been a very relaxing day.”

“I’m glad it’s been relaxing for you,” Negan snorted in a whisper from where he was and it made Maggie chuckle. Maggie reached out to brush her fingers through Negan’s somewhat messy hair and she frowned. “I’m exhausted.”

“Once the movie is over, we’ll get all of you to bed. Okay?” Maggie dragged her palm down over the side of Negan’s face. Right now Y/N was actually happy that both Beau and Erin were taking up the space with Negan so Maggie couldn’t cuddle with Negan. Whatever they were watching was near the end, but Negan could barely keep his eyes open. It was actually sweet seeing how tired Negan was for her. By the time the movie reached the end, Erin started poking at her father’s cheek getting his heavy eyelids to open in a sluggish motion. “Movie is over Negan.”

“I know that. I was awake the whole time,” Negan yawned, adjusting on the couch and standing up. Keeping his arm hooked around Erin, he pulled her up with him and then reached for Beau’s hand to help him up from the ground. “Let’s get you guys to bed.”

“We’ll be right up,” Maggie tipped up on her toes to give Negan a quick kiss. When she did it, Negan’s eyes were hooked with Y/N’s showing that he didn’t want to be kissing Maggie. Watching them head up the stairs, Y/N sighed and Maggie nudged her sister. “Did it go well?”

“It did. Which hey, I wanted to talk to you about a few things,” Y/N pulled out the list that she had written down earlier with Beau. Handing over the list to Maggie, she saw that Maggie was reading it over unsure of what it was. “I talked to Beau about the things that he wanted to do before Christmas. You think we can make these things happen?”

“I can’t see why not,” Maggie felt Glenn stepping in beside her to look over the list with Maggie. “Beau told you all of this?”

“He did. I think it’s the best way we can attempt to give him a good Christmas,” Y/N informed her sister, reaching for the list again to put it back into her pocket. “Plus, it gives us something to do. You know? That way we don’t just sit around waiting for dad to come up with something.”

“I agree with you,” Maggie waved her hand about looking in the distance seeing that Hershel was talking with Beth and Annette. “I think it’s a good idea. Just let me say goodnight to dad and then we can all go to bed. I’m tired too.”

“You ready?” Y/N reached for Glenn’s hand. Glenn nodded with a smile, accepting her hand in his when they moved for the stairs. Once they got up them, Y/N stopped when she saw that the door to Erin’s room was open. Inside Negan and Erin were in the bed. Erin was fast asleep laying on Negan’s chest and Negan was already asleep too. There was a book in his hand that he was likely reading before falling asleep and she couldn’t help but laugh. “What did you do to the poor guy?”

“I’d be worn out too if your dad did to me what he did to Negan,” Glenn released an amused sound admitting that he was happy that he wasn’t the target of her father’s anger. Hearing footsteps, Y/N looked back over her shoulder to see that both Maggie and Hershel were headed upstairs together talking. Glenn pointed toward the open-door causing Maggie to stop, letting out an amused exhale when she saw that Negan was crashed with Erin in his arms. “Your boyfriend is out cold.”

“He never sleeps that well,” Maggie noted, resting her shoulder against the doorframe and Hershel stopped to get a look at what everyone was staring at. The way Negan was laying didn’t look all that comfortable, but it was cute. Heavy breaths were falling from his slightly parted lips and it did feel a bit strange that Y/N, Maggie, Glenn and Hershel were all watching him.

“I told you he was fine,” Hershel interrupted the two women who were watching Negan sleeping cuddled up to his daughter. “He should have made it up to his room, but I’m not about to wake him up.”

“He’s probably crashed because of you,” Y/N reminded her father, shooting him a quick glare noticing how close Hershel actually was to her. “Probably had an adrenaline rush when you tried to kill him today.”

“Oh boy, we’re never getting over this one. Are we?” Hershel stepped back, pushing his hands into his pockets and giving a sheepish shrug. “It was just a little joke. That was all.”

“It wouldn’t have been funny if Apollo would have killed him and then you had to explain to his kids how you just killed their father,” Y/N pushed further feeling Maggie placing her hand in over her shoulder to hint that maybe it was time to stop talking. Considering Negan was Maggie’s boyfriend, she should have been just as angry. “You know what? I think I’m going to head to bed. I need some sleep.”

“Good idea,” Hershel piped in and it drew a chill through her spine. Man, her father was capable of bringing out the anger in her. That was for sure. Glenn said his goodbyes to Maggie and Hershel before following her toward her bedroom.

“Hey, are you okay?” Glenn reached for Y/N, his fingers loosely wrapping around her arm to get her to look at him when they stepped before her bedroom. Glenn’s dark eyes seemed worried, his jaw flexing in a nervous fashion. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” she immediately denied that idea, stepping forward to brush her fingers through Glenn’s dark hair. Hushing him, she feigned a smile and let out a long exhale. Whispering, she stepped in closer to him since Maggie and Hershel were still not far away in the hallway. “You have to understand, there is a lot of things I didn’t tell you about my family. They just make me very uptight and upset.”

“I can see that you had some history with them, but I like them,” Glenn informed her speaking quiet enough for it only to be the two of them that could hear. Hearing that made a lump form in Y/N’s throat and she nodded her head. “I think it’s good for you to be here. I don’t really know what happened between all of you, but I think your family is nice. I like them. Maggie has been really friendly and Hershel just seems rough around the edges.”

“Right,” Y/N swallowed down feeling immediately shut down even though she knew Glenn was just trying to be sweet about things. Glenn always saw the good in things. And this was probably partially Y/N’s fault for not opening up to him about her past with her family. “I guess I should have explained things to you a long time ago. It’s my fault that I didn’t.”

“Come here,” Glenn motioned her into her bedroom so that they could actually talk for a minute. It left her feeling uncomfortable when he pushed the door shut behind him. “I think you’re here for a reason. You want to fix things with your family. You want them to love you and want to be near them. You missed them. I think maybe now is a time to let go of some of the feelings that you have. Start over new. You came here because you wanted these people back in your life.”

“I almost think I came here because I wanted to prove that I could make it without them,” Y/N countered, heading over to her bed to sit down on the edge of it. Even with her response, she could see that it was one that Glenn didn’t approve of. “My father wrote me off completely Glenn. And look what I was able to accomplish.”

“I don’t know Y/N. Life has to be more than just…that,” Glenn sat down beside her on the bed, his hand reaching out to hook his fingers with hers. “I think it would be good for you to connect with your family. Once we get married, it’s going to have to be more than just the two of us, right? If we have a family, you’ll want to have family to be around them. Or else things are going to be really lonely. They already are kind of lonely. My family is so far away. I moved with you because I love you, but I do think family is important. No matter how messed up they are.”

“Right,” she thought about what Glenn was saying and she didn’t know what to say in return. “I love you Glenn, I do, but sometimes I think you only asked me to marry you because I was the first woman you were with.”

“Here we go,” Glenn let out a long breath, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I should have never told you that when I was drunk. I can’t believe that I did.”

“It’s not bad that you told me I was the first woman that you were with,” she explained, her fingers hooking tighter around his. “I’m just saying I think sometimes you feel like you have to be a certain way with me because I’m the first big relationship that you had.”

“I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t want to marry you,” Glenn assured her leaning over to press a loving kiss over her cheek. Closing her eyes, she wished that she believed that, but she really didn’t. There was a knock on the door followed by the door opening and Y/N saw Maggie standing before them. “Hey Maggie.”

“Did dad send you?” Y/N almost teased knowing that her father wasn’t very big about having ‘boys’ in the room.

“No, dad went to bed,” Maggie alerted her, pointing back toward the hallway. It made Y/N’s eyebrows bounce up and she laughed. Of course her father didn’t have a problem with Glenn being in her room, but he despised Negan being near Maggie. “I was just wondering if the two of us could talk for a few minutes?”

“I guess that means it’s time for me to go to bed,” Glenn pat Y/N on the knee before standing up. Giving her a wink, he headed for the door and glanced between the two of them. “Good night you two.”

“Night,” Maggie winked closing the door behind him when he left. Standing at the door, there was some awkward tension between the two of them before Maggie headed over to take a seat on the edge of Y/N’s bed. “I guess now would be a good time for me to apologize. We should have been talking. You were living in the same city as me—hell, you were my boyfriend’s boss and I had no clue. I should have never stopped talking to you.”

“I guess that falls on both of us,” Y/N responded when she reached for her pillow to hold it close to her chest. Resting her back against the headboard, Y/N felt guilty knowing that this was Maggie’s attempt at getting them to bond again. “I should have tried keeping a relationship with you and Beth. I was just so upset with dad and I thought everyone took his side.”

“He really was…is hard one you,” Maggie admitted, her green eyes gazing over Y/N. “But look at you! You did what you said you would. You’re a big lady boss in the city. Racking in the money and you proved that your art could make you money. You proved dad wrong.”

“I guess so,” Y/N knew that’s what she wanted her family to see when she got here, but she could tell that her father still thought she was a joke. “Truth be told, I never thought you would leave here. I’m proud of you for moving to New York City. That’s not the Maggie I knew.”

“Well, I wanted to try something new,” Maggie confessed placing her hands back behind her and bracing her weight on her palms. “It was exciting. I met a lot of people. Did a lot of things that I never thought I would. Things I would never tell daddy,” Maggie snickered looking to Y/N with a tip of her head. “And then I met Negan.”

“Yeah? How did you meet him?” Y/N questioned knowing that Negan already told her but she wanted to hear it from Maggie’s perspective.

“It was at a street vendor. I was already having a bad day and he grabbed the drink I was going for when it was the last one. I ripped his head off for it. Horribly. And he laughed at me which infuriated me. I shoved him. Went to sit on the steps of a building near the street vendor like a child. Negan sat down next to me, handed me the drink and a hot dog. Told me I obviously needed the drink more than he did. I think he was on a lunch break. And he didn’t leave. He was sitting there eating his lunch and I chewed him out telling him I didn’t need his charity. He made some smart ass comment and it got under my skin, but I was hungry so I ate what he got me. Afterwards, he got up and said goodbye. I felt bad. Went after him to apologize. We agreed to get dinner at a bar near where we met and well…”

“Well?” Y/N’s eyebrow arched in curiosity and Maggie looked back toward the door.

“I don’t know what it was, but something about Negan intrigued me. We bickered. A lot. But I liked him. So I dragged him into the bathroom at this old bar where we had sex,” Maggie whispered trying to keep her voice down when she turned to face Y/N. “Whatever went wrong that day, it was easy to forget because Negan is…really good at sex. It’s almost infuriating how good he is at it. We were in a bathroom stall and at that point, it was one of the best sexual experiences of my life. I’d had a lot of experiences in the city, but Negan stood out the most. You see Negan…” Maggie stopped herself and her faced flushed over with color, “I shouldn’t tell you that, you work with Negan.”

“Go for it,” Y/N waved her hand up in the air knowing that she was feeling jealous hearing what Maggie was telling her.

“Negan has a really nice dick,” Maggie blurt it out, her eyes getting big when she nodded her head about. “It’s above average. And it’s thicker. I’ve been with guys who had a bigger dick that are very arrogant because of it. They think that just because they have a big dick they are God’s gift to women, when in reality they are just stabbing the hell out of you with that thing and you can’t wait for it to be over. It’s not like that with Negan. As infuriating and annoying as he can be, he knows what he’s doing with it.”

“I would have never guessed it was big,” Y/N lied hearing Maggie laugh in response. Right now Y/N was just doing her best to hide her jealousy. “With the ego on him…”

“I know, you almost think he’s making up for something, but he’s got a reason to have the ego. From his work to his body…he’s impressive,” Maggie explained with a loud sigh, shaking her head in response. “After that night I thought I just had the best one-night stand of my life. But then the two of us just kept running into each other. I don’t even think we agreed to officially date. We were just together all the time. I got a little weirded out when I found out he was a widower with children.”

“Why?” Y/N was curious knowing that Beau and Erin were two things that actually made her more attracted to Negan.

“Because I was having the time of my life. The last thing I wanted was to be tied down with a teenager and a six-year-old,” Maggie reasoned with her sister, curling her arms around her knees. “At that age, both Erin and Beau already had their mind set on how they felt about things. I always thought if I had a family, I would start my own. It took me realizing that life wasn’t slowing down for me to agree that I was okay with Negan’s children. They are good kids. They don’t terrorize me. And they are part of him. I’d be a fool to not want to be with Negan. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s got a good heart. He’s loving. A good father. He has a good job. If we ever had children ourselves, I know he’d make a good dad. I’m ready to take that jump and get married to him, but I think he’s still stuck on his late wife that died. It makes things a little complicated.”

“I see,” Y/N lowered her eyes, squeezing the pillow in closer to her. Hearing Maggie suggest that she wanted to get married to Negan really upset Y/N. “It sounds like you picked up a real winner with Negan.”

“I guess it depends on who you ask,” Maggie slurred, her head shaking when she let out a nervous laugh. “Here I am talking all about myself. What about you and Glenn? How did you meet Glenn?”

“Uh, he was my pizza delivery guy,” Y/N was honest about her relationship with Glenn. Maggie’s nose wrinkled and amusement flooded her features. “With my job, it’s hard to really have dinner ready so I was ordering pizza, a lot. He was always really sweet and after the first time he delivered the pizza to me, he would keep bringing me little extras. I thought it was charming. And one night it was raining so hard. He was soaked. So I just offered to have him come in and have a piece with me so he could dry off.”

“Did you have sex with him that day?” Maggie pushed and Y/N shook her head. “Come on.”

“I’m sorry. We’re boring,” Y/N suggested with a shrug knowing that her story in comparison to her and Negan’s was really tame. “I asked him out and the first date he showed up with a bunch of roses. It was really sweet. And then I just liked having his company. He’s fun and he’s sweet. It was nice to have a friend around. And then I guess it just grew into more.”

“What about Glenn? How is sex with Glenn?” Maggie questioned and Y/N found herself less inclined to tell her sister about her sex life with Glenn. “Come on. I literally just told you Negan’s dick size.”

“No, you just said he had a big, thick dick,” Y/N countered with a shake of her head. Once she responded that, Maggie threw her hands up in the air to suggest a size before holding her hands up to give a thickness in comparison. It made Y/N shake her head and she lowered her head into her hand. “I have to stare at this man every day of my life Maggie.”

“You’re welcome, now give me the details,” Maggie poked at her sister and it made Y/N feel ridiculous. “What was sex with him like?”

“Honestly Maggie, I was his first,” Y/N explained which was followed by a small snicker from Maggie. “Don’t tell him I told you that. He was really embarrassed. You have to understand that Glenn is very shy. He had no game at all. And I think most women ignored him because of his job, but he was cute. And he was sweet.”

“So he got better with time then,” Maggie noted, pushing into Y/N’s shoulder. “Since when have you been prude about sex details?”

“My whole life? I’m not really comfortable talking to my family about my sex life,” that wasn’t a lie. It was always something that she was uneasy about. “Then again I guess I should have been more open about that whole thing.”

“Here we go,” Maggie frowned, tipping her head to the side. “Is this going to be about Shane?”

“I wasn’t going to go there,” Y/N scoffed shaking her head immediately. “I just meant that maybe the two of us would have been closer if I was more open with you.”

“Good because I don’t want to go back to that,” Maggie threw her hands up in the air, waving them about. “You now have Glenn and I have Negan…”

“Maggie, I thought you didn’t want to talk about it,” Y/N pointed out, lifting her right hand to point her finger at her sister. “Yet you’re going off about it.”

“How was I supposed to know that Shane was the guy that took your virginity Y/N? Like you said, you weren’t very open about things,” Maggie rambled on and it made Y/N roll her eyes before leaning back against the headboard to listen to her sister go off. “Yes, I’m aware that I slept with your boyfriend when we were younger, but you didn’t tell me it was your boyfriend and he really was too old for you at the time. If daddy would have known that Shane was having sex with you, Shane would have gotten in a lot of trouble and you didn’t want that. Not with Shane’s potential football career.”

“I don’t care about Shane,” Y/N contemplated her past knowing that the first man she hooked up with was never good for her in the first place. “Shane got what he wanted. He spent time with me to get close to you. It is what it is.”

“That’s not what you thought back then,” Maggie reminded her sister and Y/N let out a tense sound. “You were so angry with me for the whole Shane thing.”

“My boyfriend dumped me for you,” Y/N threw her hands up in the air and found herself frustrated with her sister. “I was a teen. So yeah, I was upset. Especially since I told you and you kept dating him. And then you only dated him for like two weeks and then you dumped him for that other guy. So Shane was always showing up begging me to talk to you. It was a little overwhelming. But I’m telling you, the last thing I care about right now is Shane. I looked the guy up and he’s a cop somewhere. And the last thing I would want to be with is a cop. Shane was not good for either one of us. I think it’s safe to say that both Negan and Glenn are better than Shane. So seriously…”

“Point taken,” Maggie went silent, her green eyes shifting showing that their discomfort was back between them. “Shane was one of those guys that didn’t know how to have sex anyways. It was fun making out with him, but sex…”

“Maggie, he was the first man I had sex with. I know what sex was like with Shane,” Y/N interrupted her sister not wanting to talk about her ex-lover any longer. “I swear. I’m not mad at you for Shane. Neither one of us lost out when it came to Shane.”

There was a silence that followed again and Y/N looked to the time, “Can we maybe talk about life tomorrow? We can have lunch together, plan our days out with what Beau requested of us and just talk about normal things. Life. Not sex? I just am really tired. I don’t get to sleep a lot.”

“Sure thing,” Maggie stood up from the bed, reaching out to squeeze over Y/N’s shoulder. “I’m glad to see you again sis.”

“Believe it or not Maggie, I’m happy to see you too,” she waved goodbye to her sister finding herself thankful when Maggie finally left. Turning off the lights, she crawled into the bed and wondered if she was doing the right or wrong thing here. Especially after that discussion.

Toward the middle of the night, the sound of her door opening was heard and it woke her from her sleep. Footsteps moved around her room, surprising her when the bed dipped and she let out a nervous sound when someone crawled into the bed beside her.

“Relax boss,” Negan’s deep voice rumbled from behind her, his arm hooking around her waist once he crawled into bed with her. Nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck drew her to let out a long exhale having the warmth of him cuddling her close. At this point she wondered if it was a dream that she was having. Right now, Negan was the only comfort she found in things, so the idea of having him crawl into bed with her to hold her? That sounded like a pretty good dream for her. “I just want to hold you for a while.”

Adjusting her positioning in the bed, she hooked her fingers with Negan’s and cuddled back into him. Knowing that Maggie was sleeping in her old bedroom not far down the hallway did enter her mind when Negan’s deep breathing followed not long after showing that he had fallen asleep. After everything that happened tonight, it just made everything else feel so much more complicated and she hated that.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor​ @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams  @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune​ @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx  @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost​ @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @promiscuousbarnes​ @tone-stark @lanadelnegan @flippittygibbitts @stickyhuesos

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

What are you main thoughts on arc v and what you like and don’t like about it?

*Cries out in agony*

Okay fine I'll talk about Arc V.

So... I don't know/remember if this has necessarily been a trend on Tumblr the way it has been in my Discord circles but uh... I have a habit of referring to Arc V as my least favourite Yugioh series.

Now let me clarify. By "least favourite" I do not and never have meant "worst". I have stated before that I love every current Yugioh series and believe they all have entertainment value.

Arc V is not a bad series. It has a lot of genuine merit that I would be remiss not to talk about.

That being said, my overview is going to be critical so don't like? Don't read.

1 The duels, even if they were starting to get a little too complicated by this point, are very fun and breathe life into match ups I otherwise wouldn't care for. Looking at the Arc V duels purely based on the cards and plays, I'd say they're a step up from the overly boss monster reliant but otherwise decent Zexal duels and leagues above the slog-fest overly complicated combo ridden duels of VRAINS.

2 The first season of this show is legitimately fantastic. It has some occasional whatever filler episodes here and there but overall it sets up the characters and story really well and is just fun and engaging to watch in general.

3 The way this series depicts the horrors of war, and how it's not necessarily a black and white issue. Arc V takes a more nuanced approach to this and shows characters being groomed or brainwashed into the cause on both sides, not just the fusion dimension. Serena, Sora, Dennis, Reira, even Yuri to an extent that the show didn't show too well- they're all just children forced to fight in a horrible war and Serena, Sora, and Dennis in particular have really interesting arcs and such fun personalities that they are among my favourites in the show.

4 The foreshadowing and ultimate payoff of certain elements is really satisfying and on my first viewing, eclipsed a lot of the problems Arc V had. The show truly does feel grand and epic and the ultimate reveal of the backstory, Zarc and Ray's stories, how the dimensions split, all of that is really well done and interesting and definitely the most interesting parts of the show on rewatches. But... speaking of rewatches...

I'll admit, I really loved Arc V when I first saw it and declared it my second favorite Yugioh series at the time, beating out Zexal and DM but not GX. It was when I rewatched Arc V that the cracks showed and... my god were they big cracks.

Rewatching the Synchro dimension arc after finally watching and liking 5Ds made me notice how much of the unique riding/turbo dueling elements were taken out in favor of just regular dueling on motorcycles with the occasional action card. But that's a small issue compared to how terrible the social commentary aspects were in the Synchro arc, even without comparing it to 5Ds.

Oh Shinji how they dropped the ball with you.

I'll try to keep this brief but I think the fact that the Synchro arc demonized protesters is incredibly disgusting. And sure, you can claim that the protesters weren't demonized specifically for rioting but for wanting to oppress the rich but you know what? Making all of the protesters, who had very valid reasons to protest by the way, out to just be trying to oppress the rich is still disgusting and I hate it. The way the narrative presents it, it really feels to me like this arc ends with Yuya ultimately forcing his "never fight, only pacifism" beliefs onto LEGITIMATELY OPPRESSED PEOPLE WHO WERE FIGHTING FOR THEIR RIGHTS only to be told "no no no, just talk to your oppressors instead!" which historically, DOES NOT WORK and is a disgusting message to perpetuate, even if it wasn't what the show intended. And this Yuya problem of forcing his ideals onto others along with his character development going in circles are things that do not go away after this. It's a problem with the entire show after the first season and the reason I don't really like canon Yuya very much.

All of this, and also Yuzu's character being destroyed, kills that part of the Synchro arc for me, which is a HUGE part, and the fact that very little actually happens to progress the overall plot for this entire THIRD OF THE SHOW is really frustrating. There's some character development here and there, some arcs being less useless than others, but in terms of major events for the overall story, it really feels like the plot just comes to a screeching halt for most of this arc, with the only things that happen being Serena and Yuzu getting kidnapped, Dennis's betrayal, and Sora's honestly kinda rushed but still decent redemption. So nearly an entire third of the show is both a boring or enraging slog AND doesn't further the overall story I was actually interested in. GREAT.

Also I hate Roget. I don't have any deeper analysis there, I just hate his guts and not in a fun love to hate villain way like Amon from GX. I just hate him and wish he wasn't in this show.

So... the first third of Arc V is great and the second third throws a lot of what made that first third great into the garbage and is so frustrating that I've declared it my most hated Yugioh arc in all eight shows so far. So... where does that leave the final third that most people seem to hate?

...to be honest, I'm in a weird middle ground where I find this final section of Arc V to be both underrated and also not very good. It's... a mixed bag. I have a lot of the same problems with it that most do: the way the show dropped the ball with Reira's arc, Leo Akaba getting off scott-free for being a war-mongering genocidal maniac, the non Yuya and Yuzu yu-boys and bracelet girls becoming irrelevant the way they were by the end, Rin and Ruri getting pretty much nothing but macguffin status, the creepy mind control shit in general, the Battle Beast arc. Just. The stupid ass Battle Beast arc.

Fuck this arc.

And I have some problems that I feel might be unique to me but are major all the same: the legacy characters, especially Asuka and Edo, being poorly written with Asuka overshadowing Yuzu then being sidelined and treated horribly in her duel with Yuri (still one of my most hated duels in the entire franchise) and Edo being incredibly inaccurate to and disingenuous of his character in GX with his arc being incredibly rushed and also feeding into that Yuya problem of insisting "pacifism will resolve everything!" that I mentioned earlier which also logically should not have worked on this version Edo.

Basically, I DESPISE these duels:

And on top of all of that, I don't like the Z-Arc duel. It's got some funny moments in the dub and I like the concept of it but it just goes on for way too long. For how many characters butt into this thing and how obvious it is that none of them are gonna win until Reira steps up (shouldn't have been her, should've been the bracelet girls or actually Ray in some form) it goes on for so damn long and it's just not fun. I feel no desire to rewatch this thing.

Soooo why did I say this arc was a mixed bag when I've had so many negative things to say about it? Honestly, it's just a lot more fun to watch than Synchro arc was. There's more variety in locations, it's not a tournament so the match ups are more surprising and varied, and like I said earlier, the pay off to all the foreshadowing, mostly from the first arc, is really strong. The grander story is back in focus and there are more good character moments sprinkled throughout than there were in Synchro arc. I don't care for Kaito that much in Arc V, or even Zexal II for that matter, but his duels are still fun to watch, I particularly enjoy his duel with Dennis, if just for Dennis.

And while I don't like how overly long the Z-Arc duel is, I still enjoy parts of it and the build up to it is genuinely fantastic. Nearly everything that happens from the Z-Arc backstory up through Yuri vs Yuya and all the duels in between are quite possibly the peak of the entire show. Declan standing up to his shitty father and reinforcing his loyalty to and belief in Yuya is amazing and exactly what Revolver's arc in VRAINS should've been, I love Declan and Riley's duel, Yuri gets to be a fun villain for a while before getting discarded, it's all really great stuff. Maybe it's partially my Declan bias, I really love him, he's my favourite character in the show, but these duels are peak.

Also, apart from the stupid aspects of the ending that I already discussed, the last eight episodes are just. Genuinely good in my eyes? People say they bring the plot to a screeching halt but to me, those episodes are an epilogue, and a pretty good one for the characters the show kept around. I unequivocally like the way Dennis's arc wraps up. I like Shun's duel with Yuya. Shun having to accept his sister and best friend are gone but finding happiness in knowing they do still live on in a way is pretty much the only good thing to come out of forcefully fusing the Yu-boys and bracelet girls. Also Jack and Yuya having a goddamn interdimensional turbo duel is still one of the coolest concepts for a duel EVER. And Declan vs Yuya right after it is a really fun duel with a very good emotional core. Still absolutely LOVE that moment of Yuya understanding and sympathizing with Z-Arc. All these parts are a great way to wrap up the series, even if a lot of the stuff around it isn't.

It's definitely an arc, and show for that matter, of peaks and valleys and sadly, a lot of those valleys really aren't worth trudging through to get to the peaks for me. Arc V, to a more major extent than 5Ds, is the kind of show that I don't feel compelled rewatch in its entirety, just the parts I really like (or need to rewatch for writing reasons or something).

So overall I do like Arc V but it is the Yugioh series I have the most problems with.

[writingpencil]

Vicky

It was funny really, Timmy avoiding touching anyone like it would make him sicker than the plague.  It was funny when he jumped out of his skin, getting as far away from the person who touched him as he could. It was funny. Or, at least to Vicky it was. The ruthless redhead would make it her mission to torture Timmy every chance she got. A hug in front of his parents, squeezing him tight like they were sister and brother. Picking him up by his hair, his wrist, his ankle, and throwing him in his room, or a closet, or outside in the rain. The occasional time she forcefully held his hand when they crossed the street. Vicky found this the most funny because, she discovered, the little twerp hated anyone touching his hands the most.

But that was years ago, when she was an evil babysitter, when her anger issues and teenager brain ruled her, and she found herself much more improved. Her meds were keeping her regulated, she found good friends who stuck with her through and through, and she even had herself a squeeze who didn't even look like Chip Skylar. Now twenty-two, Vicky decided she had to make amends with the kids she tormented. Most of them were teenagers, some of them her age, and they still had the most incompetent parents ever. Almost all of the parents were either not home or treated her like an old friend, gladly letting Vicky in with warm smiles and fond memories, served with a side of tea. The trauma in the kids eyes hurt Vicky's heart and most of them ran away, cowering in their rooms. Vicky told their parents she wanted to catch up with the kids, which the parents were so thrilled with. Some even asking for a babysitter, despite their kids being teenagers. Vicky accepted, knowing she was only working part-time at the dentist office. 

It was a slow process. Most kids refusing to even be in the same room as her. Even when Vicky showed she meant no harm, no one trusted her. Vicky understood, even stating none of the children had to forgive her, just that they would hear her apologies out. Most refused this too.

Vicky knew one house wouldn't even humor her. They've seen her abuses over and over again, even laughing about it, but, surely, wisdom comes with age. The nervous redhead took a deep breath, sighing away her worries, and knocked on the front door. When the door opened, she gave her old speech, out of habit that never died.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Turner-" Vicky paused. Instead of the Turners, there was a boy with very dead looking eyes. His bottom half of his hair was white while the rest was black, wearing a bright blue jacket with cartoon jellyfish on it. "Hello, sweetie, does Mr. and Mrs. Turner still live here?"

"Uh, yeah…?" The boy glanced over his shoulder. "Uh, they're… unavailable right now, sorry."

Vicky wondered if the Turners decided to have another kid. "Okay, well, is Timmy home?"

The boy narrowed his eyes. "Why…?"

"I'm his old babysitter, Vicky-"

The door was slammed in her face. Only to be opened slightly.

"And I came here to-"

Once again, it was slammed shut.

"...apologize…"

Vicky slumped her shoulders, still disappointed despite knowing this would happen. She turned to leave, sighing.

"Vicky?" 

Vicky was surprised, turning back around to see Timmy. He was older, of course, wearing a pink beanie instead of his usual cap. He had a small scar along his lip and piercings. One green, one pink.

"Hi, Timmy-" Vicky smiled. "It's been a while, right, twerp?"

Timmy cringed.

"Uhm, so… may I come in…?"

"No." Timmy crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

"I… wanted to apologize," Vicky said. "I was horrible to you… and there's no excuse to excuse anything I did, nor do I want to give one. I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that I'm sorry."

Timmy paused, unsure what to do. Then, slowly, he nodded. "Uh- thanks- look, this is a bad time so, uh, can you just go-"

There was a small explosion inside the house, shaking the ground with such a force, Vicky fell on her ass. 

"God fucking - Jimmy, I swear to God!" Timmy slammed the door shut. 

Vicky blinked. 

She didn't know what to do. Did she just leave? Surely it was under control? There were other people with Timmy- and he didn't seem scared. 

But when Vicky heard a high pitched scream, she booked it inside and followed it upstairs. She didn't hesitate bursting into Timmy's room, ready to fight anyone who was messing with the kids- only to find no direct threat. Instead, four boys were standing in some sort of circle - more of a triangle, with one tan, blonde boy hiding behind the dead looking boy, scared out of his mind. The only other boy Vicky hasn't seen was the one with the major cow lick hairdo, holding a glowing, ooie-gooie green slime thing.

"Uh…" The cow lick boy said. "Oops?"

"Sorry, sorry, it moved!" Said the tan boy.

"It's okay, S.B-" Dead boy promised, fluffing up tan boy's golden curls. "It's non-toxic. Right, Jimmy?"

The boys bickered but Timmy was the only one who stared at Vicky. There was animalistic fear in his eyes, like a rabbit caught by a hungry, ravaging wolf. It was then, chest heaving in and out, that Timmy's eyes rolled in the back of his head and he collapsed. At once, a green and pink pillow transformed under Timmy, catching him as they screamed his name in panic. 

"Timmy?!" The dead boy dropped to his knees, checking over the unconscious boy. "Hey, hey, breathe… breathe…"

The cow lick boy checked Timmy's pulse. "It's high- help me move him to bed,"

"I got it-" The blonde one was pacing back and forth until he picked up Timmy and set him gently on the bed. "There we go… there we go… oh, Neptune, Timmy-"

The pink and green pillows soon formed into two adult sized people; faeries with little wings and floaty shiny crowns and wands with a star. The others but cow lick got out of the way, allowing the adults to hold Timmy's hands.

"C'mon, sport…" The pink lady said, her wings fluttering in worry. "You've given us all a scare, time to wake up now…"

The green man was already sobbing. 

"Guys." Cow lick huffed. "He will be fine. His cardiovascular muscle is overreacting with a sudden shock to his frontal lobe-"

"Speak English!" The green man cried.

"He's having a panic attack and the sudden lack of oxygen caused him to pass out." Cow lick clarified, then looked over at Vicky. "Because of you."

"Wait-" Vicky took a step back. "I- I didn't mean to- I heard screaming-"

"Oh Neptune, th-that was my fault," The blonde raised his hand. "Hi, I'm Spongebob…"

"Hi, I'm-"

"Vicky." 

The pink lady and the green man stood up at once, realizing who was in the room. They brandished their wands and stepped in front of the boys.

"Stay back, boys," Said the pink lady.

"Yeah!" Followed the green man. "She's a real bully!"

Vicky held up her hands in defense. "Wait, wait, wait, I'm not anymore! I came to apologize and I was worried- I didn't mean to cause any of this!-"

"We don't believe you!" Green man shouted.

"You tormented Timmy and other children relentlessly for years!" Pink lady was shaking. "Give us one good reason to not blast you right here and now!"

"I just wanted to apologize!"

Sparkling magic swirled from the stars and Vicky braved herself for impact.

"She's telling the truth." 

The faeries paused and glanced over at the dead boy. 

"Danny…" The pink lady looked unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

Danny nodded, his eyes glowing a soft green. "One-hundred percent."

The faeries slowly backed off.

"If she gets even an inch from Timmy," The pink lady warned. "I will not hesitate."

"Yeah! We're godparents!" The green man's wing fluttered, agitated. 

Vicky stayed by the door, hugging herself. Spongebob was the only one not afraid to approach her.

He smiled, revealing his tooth gap. "So, I'm Spongebob, I've heard so much about you! Over there is Jimmy, then Danny, and the faeries are Cosmo and Wanda! And you know Timmy…"

"Hi," Vicky said. "I'm Vicky…"

[inwintersolitude]

- June 25th 2025 -

At your part of the world, is it summer now?: Yep. It is very much summer right now… we're in the midst of a heat wave. It was 95°F the past two days, and today it was around 86°F.

What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest?: Summertime temperatures are usually around 75-80°F, but it can occasionally get as warm as the mid 90s (like the first half of this week). As for the coldest - usual winter temperatures are around 15-30°F but it can get as cold as -15°F.

Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now?: I don't know if I'd call them bad habits, but rather ADHD symptoms. Calling them "bad habits" insinuates that they're personal failings, when they're actually symptoms of a neurological condition. I'll probably always struggle with these things no matter how hard I try to change.

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town?: Well my preferred field was aviation, back when I actually worked in aviation. But no, my hometown doesn't have an airport, so there are no aviation jobs there. There are airports nearby, though (one of which is the first airport I worked at).

When is the last time you went to a fun fair?: I think the equivalent here would be a county fair or state fair, and I haven't been to one in probably almost 20 years.

How about an amusement park?: Uhhh… Busch Gardens Williamsburg, in 2018, I think.

Did you/will you take part in your city’s Pride parade this year?: I don't live in a city. My town doesn't have a Pride parade, just a small picnic. I've never gone.

If not, why not?: Because I didn't even know my town had anything Pride-related until I looked it up just now.

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not?: No because I'm already married.

Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?: -

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?: No.

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best?: -

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?: Nothing a celebrity says/does would ever influence my decisions.

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish?: At some restaurants I do. But not all restaurants.

Or do you always try out something new?: Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?: Old folks' home. I couldn't deal with living next to a kindergarten. Not just because of the noise of hordes of children, but also because of all the traffic created by parents dropping off and picking up their kids.

What was the last game that you played?: Splatoon 3.

What do you know about Finland?: I know they gained independence from Russia in 1917. I know it's common for homes to have saunas in them. I know the general geography of the country. And that Finns aren't big on small talk lol.

Where was the postcard from that travelled the longest way to you?: I'm not sure.

Have you ever made jewelry?: Just beaded hemp jewelry when I was a kid.

Have you ever upcycled anything? If so, what?: I'm not sure. Maybe as a craft project in school? Can't remember.

Which app do you use the most on your phone?: Relay for Reddit, FlightRadar24, or YouTube.

Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one?: Yep. Piano, violin (briefly), and flute/piccolo.

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?: Making a cup of tea and hanging out with my bird while I read or take surveys. Or having dinner with my husband.

If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.), would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore?: I'd just get whatever aid that was needed, and not be a stubborn little bellyacher about it. I know it's somewhat common for people to resist getting hearing aids, glasses, mobility aids, etc., and I just do not understand that mindset at all. Why wouldn't you want to take care of yourself?? I've been wearing glasses since I was 10, I need earplugs for my hyperacusis, I need to wear a jaw splint for my TMJ disorder, and I also occasionally need to use a cane because of my post-covid heart problems / potential POTS. I started using each aid with no hesitation and no whining about it.

Do you enjoy being on your own?: I love it. Alone time is essential to my wellbeing.

Or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you?: Nope, not at all. The only group of people I enjoy spending time with is my family/relatives. And even then, I still need my alone time.

Have you ever been to a zoo? If so, which one(s)?: Yeah. Cleveland, Akron, Columbus, Indianapolis, the Brandywine Zoo in Delaware… I think that's all.

How about petting zoos?: Yes, a few.

Have you thrown your “winter coat” off yet?: Yep. I haven't had to wear my winter coat in about 2-3 months now.

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?: Sometimes.

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across?: I don't know. My typical reaction to sayings/idioms is that they're inherently strange, because they're so NOT straightforward. Why use a big long flowery saying, when you can just say exactly what you mean?

What’s a First World problem that you have?: My house is huge and it's a pain in the ass to keep clean and organized.

Do you use food products that are advertised as more healthy?: I don't care about advertising or marketing, it's all bullshit. I just eat what I want to eat. Most of it ends up being at least somewhat healthy, but my choice to eat those foods has nothing to do with how they're advertised.

Does it matter to you if the produce you use is organic?: Nah, it doesn't matter to me.

If so, why?: I don't care either way.

What has been the worst sort of physical pain that you have felt?: The muscle spasming and cramping I had after kidney/bladder surgery as a kid was so intense that I still vividly remember it to this day.

Are your pains generally more acute or chronic?: Most are chronic. The hyperacusis-related ear pain is acute, caused by noises that are louder than 70-80 decibels. But if I get exposed to a louder noise, then the pain can be more of like a burning ear pain that lasts for a day or two.

Do you collect anything?: My husband and I collect souvenir refrigerator magnets from everywhere we travel to together.

If you could be doing absolutely anything right now, what would it be?: Relaxing in a pool. Alone. No one else around.

Do you read any web comics?: No.

Which social media platform do you use the most, if any?: Instagram.

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?: Haha yeah, I sometimes make up silly little songs about my bird and sing them to her, to the tune of a different song. Some of the songs I've come up with parodies for are La Cucaracha, Pretty Little Baby, and probably a few others that I'm forgetting right now.

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess?: Kickball. If I played a game at all. I usually preferred playing alone on the swings, though.

[oldguy56-world]

The Living Daylights

Since this blog is going to be about the change to Daylight Savings Time you are probably thinking that I am a day late and a dollar short. (actually 7 days late and any pocket change will do thank you.) This annual event really messes up my body clock so it is understandable that it took me an entire week to reorient myself and be able to think clearly on the subject. I have history with time change (no I am not a time traveler from the future. If I was I would be extremely wealthy and would have picked a different time to come back to). My history is simple: Over the years I have lived in five different time zones and for the last ten years of my job i regularly traveled through 4. All of this has had a horrible effect on my body. Want an example? I retired in 2011. No one questioned it at the time because I looked old and tired. Truth is I am currently only 47 but you can not tell that by the way I look. For those of you that have seen me yes I am actually 20 years younger that I look (or 40 if you are not wearing glasses. Dammit 40 even if you are wearing glasses.) I am not sure why it was decided that we should mess with people twice a year like this. During my travels I came to the conclusion that Saskatchewan is the only civilized province in the country since they do not observe daylight savings. The flip side of that is when they pick up American stations from the east all of the good shows are over by 9:00 so it is bedtime. I believe their reasoning has something to do with the flatness of the province but this is just speculation from a very disoriented individual. Enough of all of this. Let's get down to the important stuff: How does DST effect me? Glad you asked.

My body, specifically my bowels, are very regular. I believe it has something to do with my sleep position. My butt is facing the clock and I am certain that my bowels can tell time by seeing it though the available orifice. It is not the start of DST that is the problem it is the end. When the clocks move back it tricks my bowels into thinking it is time to do its work. My sheets are in fear the entire winter that something bad is going to happen, as is my wife.

I am a creature of habit. After lunch I like to watch TV for a while but once DST starts the sun comes through the window at an angle that blots out the TV screen at this time. I either have to get up and adjust the drapes, or turn off the set. Both seem like a lot of work so i will occasionally go unconscious on the couch instead.

While working I always had problems with employees coming in late the first week daylight savings started because of the time change. Surprisingly these same people never came in early in the fall when it went back. I guess people are smarter later in the year.

My mother taught me that nature takes away an hour of sleep and saves it for the fall when you need it more. I loved her but that is BS. From my calculations nature owes me 4 days of sleep, my hair back, and the removal of 25 pounds.

If you have or had small children it is a well known fact that they either can't tell time or don't care about it. They wake up when they wake up and you are on call from that moment on. forget the extra hour of sleep you have been waiting for since March. Little Johnny wants cereal and his cartoons. NOW!

Why is there always one clock you forget about? This really messes you up. Usually it is the one in the car so you have no idea if you are early, late, or should even be driving today.

Electronic clocks are good because they set themselves. It is the other ones that are a problem. You reset the one on the stove, microwave, and that ornate one hanging in the living room all for the same time. You think you did a great job but later that day you walk by and all of them are off of each other by a minute. It drives me crazy. Which one is right? Does it matter? Will it mess up the PVR schedule?

You can see why it takes a while for me to adjust.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Once you are retired time is irrelevant. The important thing is to live in the NOW. Maybe our toddlers are on to something.

[cadaverschaoss]

"I'll sacrifice everything for my family."

"And I mean everything."

Character’s full name:

Kasumi Niragi

Character’s nickname:

Sumi, Kas

Reason for nickname:

Shortened version of her given name

Birth date:

10/10/97

Physical appearance

Age:

25

Eye color:

brown

Distinguishing marks:

small knick in her eyebrow

Hair color:

Black

Hairstyle:

Short and scrappy

Beach Wear:

Games outfit:

Personality

Good personality traits:

loyal determined

Bad personality traits:

chaotic, emotional

Mood character is most often in:

bored

Sense of humor:

ADHD humor

Character’s greatest joy in life:

her brother

Character’s greatest fear:

dying alone

Why?

She believes if she dies alone then no one will remember her

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?

Finding her biological father

Character is most at ease when:

She is around those she trusts and cares for

Most ill at ease when:

She has to get out of her comfort zone

Enraged when:

You try to hurt her brother

Depressed or sad when:

She believes her brother is dead post 10 ❤️ game

Priorities:

Surviving

Life philosophy:

What's the point in living if there are no risks?

If granted one wish, it would be:

For the secret of her mothers affair to never have been revealed

Why?

She wouldn't have had to leave home.

Character’s soft spot:

People giving her small gifts and things and pay attention to when she talks

Is this soft spot obvious to others?

Yes

Greatest strength:

She's very good at reading people

Greatest vulnerability or weakness:

She cares a bit too much about those around her and neglects her own safety

Biggest regret:

Leaving home and leaving just a small note behind

Minor regret:

Getting into fights in school

Biggest accomplishment:

Buying her own apartment at 27

Minor accomplishment:

Finishing highschool online

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about:

She once worked as a healthcare telemarketer and accidentally deleted information that ultimately led to an old man's death. It was an honest mistake but she carries the blame anyway.

Why?

She essentially killed a man

Character’s darkest secret:

Read the killing a man bit above

Does anyone else know?

No

Goals

Drives and motivations:

to reunite with her family after the borderlands

Immediate goals:

Survive

Long term goals:

Get a self defense teaching certification

How the character plans to accomplish these goals:

Taking classes

How other characters will be affected:

N/a

Past

Hometown:

N/A

Type of childhood:

Decent until 15

Pets:

A stray black kitten she fed

First memory:

Her earliest memory is her brother make believing a tea party for her just when she was barely able to walk

Most important childhood memory:

When the truth of her parentage was discovered

Why:

She was kicked out of the family home

Childhood hero:

Joan Jett

Dream job:

Rockstar/self defense teacher

Education:

Highschool graduate (barely)

Religion:

N/a

Finances: lower middle class

Present

Current location:

Shibuya

Currently living with:

Alone

Pets:

N/a

Religion:

N/a

Occupation:

bartender

Finances:

Lower middle class

Family

Mother:

N/a

Relationship with her:

Strained

Father:

n/a

Relationship with him:

Nonexistent

Siblings:

Sugura Niragi, Nisha Niragi (@thepsychosister )

Relationship with them:

Strained, close but strained

Spouse:

N/a

Relationship with him/her:

N/a

Children:

N/a

Relationship with them:

N/a

Other important family members:

N/a

Favorites

Color:

burgundy

Least favorite color:

electric blue

Music:

rock

Food:

hotpot

Literature:

Manga

Form of entertainment:

Tv

Expressions:

N/a

Mode of transportation:

Motorbike

Most prized possession:

Her motorbike

Habits

Hobbies:

Fighting, bartending

Plays a musical instrument?

No

Plays a sport?

No

How he/she would spend a rainy day:

Watching Netflix

Spending habits:

lives within her means

Smokes:

Occasionally

Drinks:

Yes

Other drugs:

Occasional weed use

Old bio:

Kasumi was the product of their mother having an affair, always feeling like the oddball in the family growing up. Her mother doted her with attention in the beginning then leaving Kasumi to wonder what she had done to lose her mother's love, during this time of inner turmoil she started to purposely get in trouble, eventually meeting delinquents , and later being invited to join their gang. To keep her gang life a secret from her family she worked hard at school, until her first week of highschool when she got into a fight that hospitalized two kids, the two boys who she found out were bullying her only siblings. The day she got kicked out of school was the same day she found out the circumstances of her birth and kicked out of the family home. She stayed with friends here and there before securing herself a cheap apartment in Tokyo, she had planned to find her brother and explain why she left their family so abruptly but never had the time. It wasn't until she woke up in the borderlands that the realization hit her, it wasn't until her first few games that she might actually die before seeing her only family again.

[awakened-human-design]

I WAS A MILLENIAL ON A SPIRITUAL QUEST

How would you like to get started on learning Human Design?

????? what the heck is that ??????

My Story

In December 2017, I was on a call with one of my teachers from the group Trillium Awakening. They asked me for my birthday, time and place of birth, and sent me my Human Design body graph. They talked about how I was a projector, and they were too, how it was a rare type, and that I had a lot of open centers, meaning, I was really open to conditioning from the outside world.

They suggested I check it out and some of its free resources. A small tool too accelerate my spiritual process. Which, by the way, could take up to 7 years.

I *WAS* A 20?Something ON A SPIRITUAL QUEST: 

THE VICTIM STORY

Yikes! This is cool, but heck if I had the time or money for more of that!

I hardly had enough money to pay for our weekly group calls in a women’s circle - that put a price beyond compare - but stretched me, even at the discounted rate they offered.

No one in my family had put money into spiritual or personal development work, while I was knee-deep in the stuff. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like I had a choice.

Doing work on spiritual development was a choice between “This stuff is so expensive. If I do this I won’t have any money and I will die” and “This stuff is absolutely what I need at this point in my life and that the world needs to evolve so if I don’t do this…I will also die.”

So? It was, as one of my teacher’s Marc Gafni would call, an erotic double-bind.

I made the choice to go knee-deep in work towards spiritual evolution.

I left the teaching world and I worked in the “gig economy.”

My resume had 5 different education companies.

I worked between 1-40 hours a week, and spent half of it driving.

For months at a time I did what I loved - working with kids - and had no “boss” to call me to the office.

Sounds good, right?

Finally free from educational institutions, I saw how life really worked in people’s homes. I saw the truth of District public and charter schools, and, no matter where I went, I taught kids in the way that felt good to me.

Of course, not everything ended well, and some parents and classroom teachers asked me to *get out* on the first day! But…the recognition of my abilities as a teacher *direct* and *instantaneous.* The progress of the children showed in their creativity.

Let’s get real though about this so-called “gig economy” that promised millennials freedom. No boss meant no W-2. No health insurance. No retirement plan. No coffee breaks. No co-workers.

The road was lonely.

Between driving to tutor or babysit kids at their home, substitute teach at a random school in Maryland, or attend a retreat in New Jersey, I started to feel less like a teacher and more like a truck driver. I took up bad habits that I never imagined as a yogi. I ate protein bars with more sugar than a Snickers and smoked the more the occasional American Spirit that even listening to Adi Da podcasts could not save me from.

I felt sad - but who else could see me but myself?

Some of my friends from my “previous life” no longer spoke to me. I felt ashamed I had left the active lifestyle I once had of biking, walking and yoga, but I knew I could not afford it. I paid for retreats by offering to cook batch meals for the sangha.

I lived in a basement apartment in a house owned by an electronic musician that hosted bands from all over the country. My next door neighbor was an indie musician as well with a great wardrobe and occasional clothing swaps with her New Zealand friends. My closest friend made her own jewelry and tye-die. Two blocks away from the thrift store! So… Major perk - getting to listen to and play music on the reg. and get free, cute clothes. Major downside - working all the time with hardly enough cash to pay the rent to show for my good deeds, and sometimes looking “woke up like this” and other time looking like I hadn’t changed out of my pajamas.

OKAY…SO WHAT IS THIS HUMAN DESIGN STUFF AND HOW DID YOU LEARN IT

Okay, cool. So back to the start of the story. My teacher gave me a tool and I don’t think I looked at it for two years.

But then …. the covid, the lockdowns, the confinement , and suddenly we all had no where to go, everywhere to be (on Zoom) and time, too much of it.

How was I ever going to ‘be’ someBODY?

I won’t go into the depth of “the lockdown” story because at this point, we all have one.

But lockdown story did not produce the kind of “free time” that one might really hope for, unless, of course, you enjoy “free time” like a character from a Albert Camus novel.

Coincidantalment**, I spent the entire time of “confinement” in two foreign

No exit. Like - am I ever going to get out of this? Am I ever going to escape this like square box my form is trapped inside of, speaking to people in a language no one understands?

Okay. I am going to revisit this Human Design stuff. I am going to learn a language that describes the programming of the human body.

No, this isn’t some weird genetic altering stuff. Au, the contrarie!

A system of empowerment that came along at the right time.

When we are, as David A Temple puts it posed between utopia and dystopia. We are getting the call to know ourselves - NOW - in a progressively globalizing and demanding world. And not just globalizing in terms of “oh maybe this bag of chips I’m eating right now came from a Uyghur death camp and perhaps its made of sawdust.” Okay…maybe that too…but really…Globalizing in terms of the planet - the “PLAN-(N)ET” - has a plan to catch us and we best follow her word…or…else.

TO POPPY-SEED QUEEN CURING HER ADDICTIONS: A HEROINE’S JOURNEY

So I spent…every day of French class, every morning, looking at the transits (both astro and HD), recording my dreams, reading my graph, reading the Cross of the day, the Gate, drawing the iChing…taking a university-levelcourse on iChing…ok…maybe there was some magic involved…and many sleepless nights…and…yes…going down to the depths of the bottom of the bottom…the rabbit hole…the worm hole…the brain hole…you name it…its the the “dark night of the soul “ and there ain’t no batman to help you sidekick robin so you better be the hero of your own story and save the day.

I can tell you. I’ve been there. There’s no going back. 

…..*di di di di*** the song of “why do I like Human Design so much” ***do do do do**….

1- TRANSPARENT AND EASY AS F**** TO LEARN

I like Human Design because it is a very transparent system. If you’ve gotten a reading in astrology or tarot, the “method” or “magic” is usually a little hidden from the person receiving the reading. This is more “Teach yourself your Self” and a reader is more like a guide.

Like a contractor explaining the blueprint of a house from the day it was built. You might not of had the tools to build the house - but you get it. The plan is clear.

It’s not like Enneagram or Myers-Briggs where you take a quiz and find out a type, only to have it change again half-way through your life. Those tools of human development are well and good (but are subjective), and you should use those too. But that’s not what this is.

This system starts with the objective.

And then you have to test it out.

2 - the 100% USE FOR 100%…KIDS

This system, for as weird as the origin story may appear, was built by a teacher. It was built for children and the generations to come.

Anyone who has ever been a teacher (*and hopefully left the profession because they KNOW how the conditioning is happening) for kids under 7 can SEE how easily children and manipulated and cohereced into a “not-Self” program.

They are literally “programmed” to not-love themselves! The sh*t people are paying beaucoup bucks for to *fix* them later in life!

So let’s cut that s-t out before it beings. Let’s raise a generation of kids who don’t need to go to therapy when they grow up to un-do all the trauma that came from their conditioning.

And for you - “grown up” let’s help you re-parent your inner child.

(People always told me I needed to do that. I had no idea how, or the privilege, I felt, to do it.)

Let’s help you learn to “be alone” with your “Self” as you already are - whole.

3 - IS THIS A RELIgION?

Okay, let’s talk religion - if you grew up Christian (like “me” yay****) confirmed in the Christian church…yadda yadda…you probably have SOME trauma from that stuff. Don’t really care if you go to church every Sunday, are a flat-out atheist or extreme right..some body has GOT to say it…

Everything you have been brought up believe is not the meaning of the Christ.

With a little toe-dipping into esoteric Christianity…

The current image of “Jesus on the Cross” is no more than a sacrificial lamb that has you totally tricked into thinking you need to “die” (to the empire) in order to be “saved.”

No. You are a unique balance of light and dark. Although these do move in the 4 directions, they do not always look like a perfect “cross.” More on that later. 

BUT The beauty of it …is also that THERE IS a cross. And you can understand it. And you can be and become your own Christ. 

Your own Savior. And take back the power into your own life.

I don’t care if you can name me every book of gospel or if you tell me that Jesus was a historical figure or in fact never lived and is a myth in our imagination. Or if Jesus is coming back down from the heavens tomorrow so repent your sinners or oh shit maybe the world really *IS* on fire and maybe the highest court in the land (the UN) and now has “Inner Development Goals” and realizing that maybe infrastructure is not just made of things. It’s made of people. Who hurt. Who feel. Who laugh. Who cry. And is telling people that maybe they should consider working on themselves. 

In other words: It’s not just the third world world that needs supported. 

I’m not even sure if this has everything or nothing to do with a guy named Zeus with a big white beard who lives in the sky (although, I have had a couple teachers with big white beards that could compete quite fairly with Grandaddy Marx see “The Stoa” for reference)…but I do know this has everything to do with YOU and your unfolding FATE and DESTINY to live a radical life among the stars.

 Yeah…there. I said it. 

I’m prothetlytizing on the sidewalk sweeties and its time to convert.

Burn me for it. It’s okay. 

Joan was a 5/1. She dressed up as a boy.

They canonized her has a saint. 

Let’s see what the rest of us can do. 

OKAY….NOW I’M THE BAD GUY BECAUSE…

This knowledge is not free. So I do charge.

It’s an Interior Science. No one will do it for you.

It takes time. You have to test it out for yourself.

Let me ask you this: If you didn’t have a story before…do you have one now?

Try Human Design. 

My Design - A Poem

I’m a Savior, but not a Saint.

But the crisis is urgent. And the task is real.

There’s a Devil in command, and I’ve trained him to be quiet.

Wearing masks, playing charades, yet we know it’s all a game. 

Yes, it’s all an illusion of MAIA. She’s the goddess. The veil of illusion.

She’s written these words and she’s ended my confusion. 

Her values will break you apart and make you whole again.

Come home, and be your Self. No one else will do it for you. 

————-

 ~*~ b3 @uTh3nTiC ~*~

**Spell check (?) You can send me a French dictionary later

***HD uses Kabbalah, iChing, Western Astrology, and the Chakra system.  

**** For the Americans out there, Labour Day in the rest of the world is May 1st

[sheepwithspecs]

i'm really in a slump and having a hard time writing right now because i've sort of lost passion for it but i did want to share something i had written for the CarvRhos arranged marriage au bc i still think it's a cute scene of Rhoswen reading to the Sirens' children... idk when the fic will be released now but i don't want it to go to waste so enjoy

__

Fun fact Aubrix and Zori were two OCs that were going to be in a oneshot but it was never made so they just exist in the nebulous concept of "i know who they are but my readers won't" unfortunately

-Aubrix is a 10 yo half-Hyur, half-Elezen whose goal is to honor his auntie captain by killing Carvallain one day

-Zori is a 6 yo Miqote that uses her cute baby fangs to draw blood (bad habit of biting first and asking questions later)

“N’ as they rode up the mountain path, one o’ them—erm—” Rhoswen scowled down at the tome on her lap, lips pursed in annoyance as she tried to puzzle out the word. The page swam before her weary eyes, elegant letters dissolving into meaningless squiggles on the faded parchment. “M… Majestic beasts came swoopin’ down from the ‘eavens. The boy’s chocobo reared up in fright, sending the boy tumblin’ down the mountainside to his n… his ni….”

“Nigh-certain demise,” whispered Aubrix sleepily, his small head pillowed against her shoulder.

“To his nigh-certain demise,” she repeated firmly, turning the page with a barely suppressed huff. The Boy and the Dragon Gay had become a recent favorite amongst the many younglings who called the Missing Member home. For days on end they’d been begging her to read it aloud, never once minding the fact that even the youngest of the brood could read circles around their “Aunt Rhoswen”. Now, having finally surrendered to their incessant cries, she was left picking her way through the Coerthan tale word by godsforsaken word.

As a general rule, most of the Sirens did not waste idle time worrying about where their children were at any given moment. Most of the younglings lived in the tavern, the bastard children of Sirnes who had no clue—nor care—who the father might be. Others, like Aubrix, were born of Sirens who had chosen to wed for one reason or another, and lived in the city proper. It was assumed that if they weren’t at someone’s home, they were in the tavern; if they weren’t there, they were wading in the shallows, or wandering the marketplace, or pestering the Skylift workers for a free ride up the Descent.

Together they made up a large group of unruly ragamuffins that, for the most part, could look after themselves. The rest of the crew worked as collective eyes and ears, with everyone from the lowest deckhand to the Rhoswen herself keeping watch over the little brats as though they were her own flesh and blood. A force to be reckoned with, they had a keen understanding of how to wheedle anything they wanted out of an unsuspecting victim… including their own captain.

In truth, Rhoswen did not mind reading the occasional fairie story, even if it took valuable time out of her busy schedule. Though she constantly cursed her own softheartedness wherever the scheming little bastards were concerned, she could not bear to see their hopes dashed by her own misgivings. The majority of her life had been spent in illiteracy, only able to recognize those seven distinct letters that made up her given name. She had taught herself to read as a deckhand, collecting scraps of parchment from every plundered ship and painstakingly tracing them by lamplight long after the others had retired to their bunks. Despite her best efforts, she was still forced to sound out all but the simplest of words, her clumsy tongue tripping over the syllables.

It was for this every reason that she had insisted all children born to Siren mothers would learn to read and write. The mismatched bunch huddled around her on the threadbare coverlets were much better equipped to handle the world than their own mothers would ever be, safe from corrupt guards bearing false warrants or conniving merchants with dubiously worded contracts. Though they might hem and haw over their slates, she could rest easy in the fact that they would thank her one day for the efforts she took to secure their education.  

“N’ the gods saw fit to spare his life, if only m… meagerly so. As he lay there, battered n’ broken, all manner o’ foul beasts drew near—” The heavy ocean winds rattled the shutters, moaning eerily in as it swept through the Aftcastle and whistled in the eaves. The children nestled around her like so many chicks in a nest, the eldest reading along over her shoulders while the littlest ones dozed on her lap. They shivered with trepidation as the illustrated shadows on the accompanying page, hulking and half-hidden by the leafy undergrowth as they crept towards where the wounded boy lay in the foreground.

“He’s gonna be okay, aye?” Zori asked with a yawn that seemed to split her face in two, chubby fists rubbing at her eyes. Her feline ears, overlarge for her small stature, flattened as she studied the illustration with clear concern in her bright gaze. This was hardly the first time that any of the children had heard the tale, but they seemed to enjoy the pretense of asking questions as though it were brand new.

“Turn the page, n’ we’ll see what happens.” Had it been left up to her, the boy would have broken his neck at the bottom of the mountain and saved her the trouble of reading the rest. But of course a child’s fairie story would never end on such a sour note.

There was a collective sigh of admiration as they caught sight of the dragon illustration on the next page. The sinuous creature was painted so that its scales seemed to shimmer in the lamplight. Iridescent flames erupted from its gaping maw to frame the border of the text. Rhoswen had never seen a dragon before in her life, and certainly had no plans to go searching for one. Still, even she had to admit that the creature did seem rather formidable, if not majestic.

“Just as the boy was makin’ his peace with the Twelve, another dragon—”

“Cap’n?”

[fan-burns]

Robots 2

Chapter 2: Ratchet’s POV 

“Oh my Cog, I can’t believe it worked!”

In my hands was a copy of the Robot Times from yesterday. It was a pain in the aft to get, but I’m glad that I did. The headline read:

“Revolutionary Ratchet?

Two years ago, the murderous Ratchet disappeared from public eye, but was he really all that bad? 

Turn to page 12 to find out!”

I don’t believe it, the old coot actually did it. He mind controlled everyone that works for the paper!

As I stood there stunned, a distorted voice sounded from behind me. “And you said it vas just a myth!”

I turned to face the rust bucket responsible for this. Doctor Veyizmir. Anyone who knew him would sprint at the mere sound of his grisly voice. Like the rest of his body, his voice had deteriorated over the years. It has a nasty habit of switching from American to German as he spoke, making him all the more unnerving and unhinged. He’s been trying to fix it for as long as I remember, but to no avail.

I’m still amazed that he’s even alive, considering how old he is. He was an outmode long before they were officially a thing, and he was well past his warranty. Yet somehow, by some demonic intervention on his part, he still lives. 

He looked like he came straight out of a Hollywood horror movie, he was crippled, old, and fat. He even had the glasses and thick gray eyebrows to boot. His body was stained brown with rust and Cog knows whatever chemicals he’s been playing with. Whatever paint job he had on completely vanished, and was replaced with a thin coat of dust. His face wasn’t any better, as his mouth had been so corroded that it began to form a sort of “beak” shape. His teeth had long since rotted away, making him all the more unpleasant to look at. 

Despite his round body, he was only being held up by his thin, frail limbs, and has to carry a cane with him less he risk falling over. The cane in question was held by a set of thin hands, which were easily mistaken for spiders when they moved around. His pointer fingers were, well, they were needles. Most likely filled with some metal corroding acid that he created, or some liquid that could turn you into a rusted statue in a matter of seconds.

He was…creative like that. To highlight this fact, there was a lightbulb sat upon his head that lit up whenever he had one of these creative ideas. Over the years, some of the wires connected to it began to sprout from his forehead, causing a slight electric shock every now and again whenever it tried to light up. 

I feel like I can’t go a single day without seeing it try to light up at least once, and everytime it does, I can’t help but feel sorry for his next “Pet Project”. 

As he stepped out of the shadows, I could hear his joints creak and groan under his own weight. As he opened his beak, small streams of smoke had escaped from him as he struggled to speak in his jumbled accents.

“As I’ve said before, zis is zee future of us all…Under normal conditions, zis Electromagnetic pulse can only briefly inconfenience us vith zee occasional blackout or, at zee worst, damaged equipment. Howefer, vith my expertise, ve are capable of many, many things. Of course, such technologies have never existed up until zis point, and have only served as a tale to tell to children at night…until I had a go at it!”

I didn’t want to know how he was able to bring fiction into reality, but at the same time I was morbidly interested.

“Soooooooo…what did you do? How did you do it?”

His beak turned into that signature evil grin of his, the last sight of many of his little experiments. 

“Oh, you give me hope for zee youth!” Spoke the twisted figure. “At least someone is interested in vat I do! It vas quite easy, actually, much easier zan I expected! Back in zee old days, I used to make smaller signals using metal rods and lightning from ze sky! zey could only cause a simple power outage, but it was quite ze feat! Course...zat led to a fire in the town I was residing in, and I had to flee.”

“I thought you had to flee town because you killed a bunch of bots?”

“Well…that too. But zat’s beside zee point…What I’m trying to say is zat I can go bigger. I can weaponize an EMP signal, the nightmare of all robots! Think of it, sonny. zee whole world looking to you for advice, for your orders, for your command!”

There’s the other thing about Doctor V. His theatrics and comparisons with wild, starving animals and bots.

“It’s tantalizing, isn’t it?” He went on, “All zat power in one place, it makes you want to crawl out of zis cage and into ze palace banquet!”

As he went on, he stepped closer to me, tapping his cane on the ground to emphasize the point. 

“You’d be unstoppable…and anyone vho gets in your vay vill only find themselves devoured by your pover and zeir ovn lust for you! A lust of vhich, you vill inflict upon zem vith your voice and authority alone…You’ll be irresistible to many, loved by ze majority, and obeyed by all! How could you possibly not vant something like zat?!”

The Doctor was a master at tempting you, too. He’ll promise you something you can’t resist, and he’ll damage you beyond repair intentionally or unintentionally. Then he’ll drag whatever’s left of you to his workshop and claim you as his next “Pet Project”. He’s like a wicked genie in a bottle cranked to eleven. It’s the one reason why I’ve been avoiding him everytime I come down here to see my mother. But now that she’s gone, and I’m basically living here now, I’m forced to talk to him. 

But the more I listened to him, the more I found myself agreeing with him. I have wanted to get back at that little blue brat and his coffee pot pet for a while…and this could be my ticket back to the top. But if I’m going to go along with Dr. V’s plan, I have to play it safe, I can’t get too greedy. For all I know, this could be some conspiracy against me.

“You have a point, but how are we-”

“Simple…ve’ll keep altering the cell tovers in zee city as ve’ve been doing. Vhile ve’re doing that, I’ll create a generator inside ze Shop. Once zat’s finished, I’ll forge vhat I call a “Conduit”, zat vill use that generator’s power to control ze masses.”

“Wait, why can’t you just skip the generator and just make the Conduit the generator? Wouldn’t that be easier?”

Doctor V. gave me one of his infamous side glares, “Because, boy, zis main generator contains ze real pover. A generator squeezed in one place can only cover so much ground, and von’t be able to reach zee entire city. Zee Conduit vill be able to spread zee signals to areas vhere zee EMP cannot fully reach. Vith a smaller, more portable signal on zee side vill ensure zat no one can resist! Ve can’t have a rebellion in our empire, now do vee?”

What he was suggesting ws horrifying, but brilliant…I’m slowly starting to see why mom kept him around. To an extent at least.

“But how are you going to build this thing?! Where are you going to-”

He interrupted again by waving his needle finger at me and made a “Tsk Tsk Tsk” with his beak. “You just focus on zat little boyfriend of yours and let me handle ze rest…How is he, by the vay? I haven't seen him in a vhile.”

“He’s not my-”

He shrugged his eyebrow at me.

“I mean…he’s fine. Last I heard he’s scored a job at Bigweld’s. We’re keeping communication low just in case. If he’s really in a position of power, we can’t afford to have him lose it!”

“I see…Vell zen, I best get started.”

Before he could disappear back to the shadows, I placed a hand on his shoulder.

“How long do you think it’ll take?”

He looked surprised that I asked, as if he was genuinely taken aback that I was interested in this plan of his. Delighted, He turned to me and gave me an answer. 

“Vell, based on how well zee tests have gone so far, I’ll give it…four years, at least.”

“FOUR YEARS?!”

“You can’t rush art!” His voice croaked. “At least it isn’t a decade! It’ll go by in a flash, you’ll see.”

And just like that, he vanished into the shadows. Down into the abyss of the shop, far from the heat of the smelters and embracing the cold. 

“This better work, doctor.”

This had better work.

[another-corpo-rat]

Fem V Friday but I didn’t take any screenshots of my baby recently so I’m gonna ramble about her soap opera of a life instead.

(Putting the majority of it under a Read More because I know I ramble and don’t wanna clog the tags)

- Victoria was born in Night City but she wasn't raised there - she lived in England with her mother until she was 23, when they both moved for work-related reasons. Her accent is still quite prominent and it's common enough to hear other people refer to her as Mary Poppins. Angelo once called her it in the middle of an argument and she proceeded to beat him with an umbrella. It sounds funnier than it was - it was severe enough that Trauma Team were alerted.

This event, causing an embarrassment for their parents, was what spurred the two into a different approach - small competitions, bets. Harmless to the duo and their parents reputations, not so much for the mercs they moved like chess pieces to up each other. This 'truce' would be in place until their father's health took a severe decline and the question of inheritance became prominent.

- Doesn't really participate much within the commonly tight-knit netrunner community. At most, some may recognise the username V1P3R in certain forums, usually ones theory-crafting potential new daemons and quickhacks - what would need to be targeted in the system to get x result and so forth. One time she asked for advice about what cyberdeck she should invest in, knowing full well it would start a war between the Netdriver and the Rippler girlies. (She herself uses the Netdriver Mk.5, and has a bad habit of overclocking it to increase upload speeds; burning up the cyberdeck and giving her the nosebleed of the century.)

- That said, the quickhacks are more a hobby, something she picks away at when she needs to stop actively thinking about the big work project: a new virus named OIZYS that she is heading the development of for Arasaka. Secret to the point that even Adam Smasher knowing of it was considered a security breach.

I want to ramble about the idea for it, so -- OIZYS can lie dormant for some time once uploaded, not affecting the target in any way nor showing up in most scans until they encounter something that sets off their threat/fear response. Victoria is trying to find a way for them to activate it remotely, but her experiments in that regard haven't worked thus far and she refuses to consider the project complete or even viable if their targets getting scared by their own children jumping out at them can trigger it.

OIZYS would kick in during that response in the brain: overwhelming the amygdala with stimuli and convincing the individual that they are surrounded by threats even if its not the case, blinding them to the difference between friend and foe. It's results have been comparable to cyberpsychosis and are increasingly effective when the target is in an already stressful environment or position. After the initial, typically violent outburst test subjects showed an increased paranoia that led to them refusing to eat or sleep. The reason for its development is simple: cause political rivals/public figureheads to make a fool of themselves in the public eye, tanking stock and trust in rival companies. So they kinda need to be able to control when the virus kicks in.

While not intended, OIZYS focus on the brain also makes it somewhat effective against cyborgs - noted to occasionally trigger a disconnect between the biopod and conversion frame. Those results have been kept quiet from a certain tinman and have been struck from any official documentation.

- She used to be engaged to an Arasaka security agent, Marcus Larson (seen below). However, their relationship was tenuous at best and wouldn't last due to his aggression and her frequent infidelity and gaslighting. Marcus broke off the engagement following Victoria's assignment to Adam Smasher, after she told him to go fuck himself when he demanded she refuse the transfer. Ever spiteful, Victoria has maintained a fairly good relationship with his mother and sister - who still consider her part of the family even if she didn't marry into it. Her not-nephews prefer her over Marcus, courtesy of her spoiling them rotten. She's never considered herself an actress, but she plays the part of doting aunt well.

- Owned a Quadra Type-66 Avenger. When her half-brother bombed it in an attempt on her life, Victoria was initially more pissed about the destruction of the car than the half-assed murder attempt. That Angelo killed himself shortly after this attempt was surely just a coincidence, and not at all tied to his netrunner sibling who is known to keep fatal quickhacks in her arsenal.

- There was an investigation into Angelo's death; headed by a certain Detective Ward. River could smell there was something off about the whole thing, and while the pettiness of getting fixers and mercs involved is commonplace among self-important Corpos, the timeline of events was too suspect for him to just write it off as a suicide. (A dying rich father, half-siblings known to hate each other, a failed car bombing and then a suicide? Yeah. He wasn't believing what Victoria fed them: that Angelo was paranoid after her car exploded, worried he was next. His suspicions grew tenfold after learning she was a netrunner.) However, all of that was circumstantial and while he might have been able to hold it against a common citizen of Night City; a suit was nigh untouchable without something solid.

Victoria was NOT happy when she was taken in for questioning, a colleague of River's tried to soothe her ruffled feathers by explaining that River was on edge due to a personal circumstance (the disappearance of Randy) however they had instead just given her a means to antagonize the man. And she did, accusing him of being a shit brother and uncle without explicitly saying it. River was so fucking close to clocking her, frustrated af knowing his hands were tied and he had nothing that would stick if he kept to official channels. Watching her walk out added to his quickly building grievances with the force.

- Due to her mother's ailing health, Victoria oversaw the burials of both her father and half-brother. Their niches read the following:

Joseph Benjamin Morris-Crane A waste of space even in a box

Angelo Victor Morris Finally knows something we don't