#*tentatively* heal

[pttucker]

"…Who was his target, anyway?" "You just woke up, but you're already so full of questions. How annoying." I sat on the bed, eyes blinking like an idiot. She pointed to my chest again. Upon taking a closer look, there were two [Modifier Necklaces] hanging around my neck. One of them was Asmodeus's Modifier, [Devil of Lust and Wrath], while the other one was… [□□ of □□] The places where my Modifier should've been were replaced by empty holes, instead. "No way?" "Yes, way." Well, at least he did leave behind 'Of'. That son of a bitch.

I KNEW IT!

Awwww, but he really has forgiven him, hasn't he? 😭

He even gave him the last syllable he needed to move to the next section. 😭💖

And Dokja picked up on the fact that he said he's a former Regressor!

Not the Regressor Yoo Joonghyuk, but a former Regressor. What was he thinking about when he told me that?

idk Dokja, maybe that's his way of telling you that he's made his final choice to stay in this life. With the guy who transformed him from this mindless, emotionless killing machine known only as "Regressor," back into the Yoo Joonghyuk he was before.

Oh, and I guess Joonghyuk didn't get dragged into the Library after all. Which is definitely for the best, I think. Joonghyuk yelling at Dokja while he's trying to do stuff would probably not be conducive to a friendly, non-stress work environment. 😂

...or if he did get dragged in, Dokja doesn't remember any of it.

[velvet-games]

draft for an oc idea (I had a bunch of scrapped concepts for alastor that were too ooc so I'm just using them on her lmao)

[arsonistmoth]

I have no excuse. other than Nari beat the SHIT out of Baal in my save last night and thIS WAS ALL I COULD THINK OF AS I BROKE THE FIGHT UP.

[goldeneyedgirl]

snippet

I disappeared again, but for a good reason. We're so close to having a new chapter that I can taste it. I'm not saying you should start watching for the update emails yet, but goddamn it feels good to put things together. It's very exciting.

I also have drafts for almost all my asks, so look for those at the end of the week.

But because it will be a February update instead of a January update, I brought an offering of some more of the Mary-Alice/Feral Jasper section that I posted at Ficmas. The actual plot of this is coming together nicely, and I'm looking forward to sitting down and putting together a few chapters.

Enjoy!

note: this follows on immediately from the ficmas post.

“I take care of myself,” she finally says.

“And me,” Jasper says, studying her. “So that means I get to take care of you.”

She realises that he’s still muddled from the stress of his pending departure, and just agrees to that without pointing out that he’s still not strong enough to win a fight. She can look after both of them just fine. He’s not going to need her forever.

He studies her for a moment longer, reaching out to tuck some of her hair behind her ear.

“They’re good people,” he says, and his fingers graze her cheek. “They could take care of you as well.”

Oh.

Oh.

She wants to laugh at that, at the idea she needs anyone to take care of her. That Jasper seems to want her to spend time with the Cullens.

“You take good care of me,” she says, hoping to distract him. “I don’t need anything else. I will meet them. I promise. We just have to wait until they’re open to the idea. They want to protect you, and they see me as a threat.”

Of course they do; her story is written all over her. She’s a fighter and a killer. Of course they would want her as far away from Jasper as possible; even a year later, she could kill Jasper before he even realised what had happened. Emmett too. She’s not surprised they’d take Jasper and run, honestly. She would have judged them if they hadn’t.

She reaches out and takes his hand between both of hers, and it’s the first time that she’s instigated casual touch with him. It feels so awkward but Jasper’s expression softens the minute she does, and he shifts closer to her - his shoulders drop as he relaxes. Good, that’s what she wanted. She has no idea how to comfort someone, but touch seems to work for Jasper. It makes sense, he’s always encouraging her to get close, and asking to touch her. Well, asking less lately. She wishes he’d ask before touching her face. It makes her nervous.

“You’ll run to Montana,” he finally says and she offers him a small smile, hopefully one that’s reassuring.

“I’ll run to Montana. I plan to get there before you do,” she replies. “But if something changes, like the weather, I might be delayed. That’s okay.”

“That’s okay,” he echoes. “Can you check?”

She nods and closes her eyes to tap into her gift.

Running, running, the oilskin bag lashed tightly to her body. She has to get there before Jasper does, so he doesn’t worry. So that the next time they move, he won’t regress, that he’ll trust her to be where he needs her to be. Emmett gave her the coordinates and directions and showed her on a map. He’ll keep Jasper calm if she’s late but she won’t be.

There’s a tree in a sunken gully, as far from the house as she can stand - downwind, so no one catches on to her presence. Her main dress is destroyed from the run, unwearable. She’s wearing her other dress when Jasper and Emmett come down the path, bickering.

“I beat you to Montana,” she confirms, opening her eyes. She never used to close them to See but Jasper had gotten distressed when he saw her eyes rolling up during a vision. It had taken her the best part of an hour to calm him down, stop the tremors in his hands, and explain it didn’t hurt. It was like her eyes and brain were pulled tight, but not painful. Sometimes her eyes didn’t even roll up. But it was easier to close her eyes than have to watch him suffer. “You should talk to Emmett, tell him the plan.”

Jasper nods and pulls his hand free of hers to pull her close. She tenses up for a moment before forcing herself to relax. Jasper’s never harmed her, never done or said anything to hurt her. He finds holding her like this comforting, and that’s good.

//

“You won’t get any closer,” Emmett warns Esme, motioning out to the ridge. “She’ll see you coming before you know it.”

“Will she…?” Esme begins.

“Not unless she thinks there’s a threat to Jasper or herself. Mainly Jasper,” Emmett replies honestly. “But she’ll want you to think she will.”

Esme balanced carefully as she crept along the ridge to look through a glade miles away. There was only the smallest gap in the tree line where she could see Jasper perched on a branch, looking up at something.

Or someone. A thin girl unfolded herself from the branches above to land gracefully next to Jasper. She’s wearing flowers and leaves in her hair, and wearing the world’s dirtiest rag of a dress. She doesn’t so much as brush against Jasper until he says something to her, and she shuffles closer, his arm going around her thin shoulders.

“Oh,” Esme breathed before carefully making her way back to Emmett. “That… wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“But very, very real,” Emmett said with a tired smile. “She’s getting annoyed about it because it’s upsetting Jasper that everyone thinks he’s gone crazy.”

[baqsy]

What r your thoughts on Adella bloodborne?

a tool of healing church, basically expendable material.

we could even justify her narrow-minded jealousy if Hunter prefers Arianna over her: she is essentially reduced to a vessel of blood for their and our imbibing. of course she'd want with zeal for contact with the Hunter, this is the only means by which she can prove her worth through. blood saints lost their human value and are degraded to an instrument of the clergy

essentially these specimens are conditioned into believing that their sacrifice is for the greater good and their duty is something sacred and reverent, while Well they're wilting away and wasting the remnants of their common sense. blood saints remind me of the anorexia mirabilis phenomenon, except it's bloodletting instead of fasting

out of all of them I'd say that i sympathise with Adeline, mf speedran the deification and blob-fished herself, bless her heart

[angeart]

Ribbon gaaaaang, found family, I love them, I love them so much (and yes I'm VERY worried about how this arc ends, I know they have to go to the summer home place, I know they're alone again by rescue arc, I am living in the fluff and denial while I can!)

This makes the Mr Beak thing all the more precious of Kane awww

+1 with the other anon to wanting to know about the whole mating mark dispute, ofc yes I wanna know more too but also yes indulge in the barn building, Grian gets to build :o

-🎀

YAY YOU LOVE THEM i am so happy 🥰

the context makes kane's hesitance with presenting grian with mr beak so much more precious yes!! he's learned so much and really wants to do things right. and often times when it comes to grian, he looks up to scar for guidance! with this and other things too. sometimes he just bases things on how scar acts around grian. like noting to avoid the wings, you know?

(until he gets smacked with them and it stuns him /pos :3c)

i posted the talk about mating bites! the building ramble might be small but it's gonna have to wait for now. (grian gets to build!!!) (i also have the rp of kane getting that ribbon though 👀)

[kirkwallguy]

and the taash pronoun avoidance continues......which could mean nothing

[isa-ah]

man i wish we could just book it n immigrate already. its so expensive to get anywhere but if we can just get a foot in the door yknow? im tired of being so fuckin broke LOL

[mindtrove]

Thinking how Moro is quite old fashioned, traditional. More so after the debacle with Arlen her late lover.

When her father along with other surviving members of Clan Lavellan arrive at Skyhold she tells Solas she'd like his blessing in regards to their relationship and he needs to go talk to him. And make it quick cuz the man's on his death bed (literally).

I like the idea that while Solas is brushed up on the concept on recieving a father's blessing for a relationship and he low-key thinks it's stupid, but he'll do it if it makes Moro happy.

[supernovaa-remnant]

I had a really really weird dream where wil/bur and tm/my stopped being friends, and it was public knowledge? but it was kinda awkward cause it was implied that tm/my did something that hurt wil/bur.. also tbbo was still friends with both and had an entire streaming event that involved both of them? dteam was mentioned in some way, I’m sure. I think they were also a part of tbbo’s streaming event, actually. which. that’s just chaos and internet drama in the making tbh.

anyway I was watching the stream in my dream on the car ride somewhere and then the zombie apocalypse started so I couldn’t really focus on it :/

[ruinakete]

peony : what would a ‘ happy life ’ look like in your muse’s eyes ?

BOTANICAL HEADCANONS ・ accepting! ( warning for discussion or mentions of pregnancies, childbirth, child neglect / abuse, religious trauma, and bad parenting overall )

there are two answers to this depending on pre-death and post-death Zephia, so i'll answer this question twice, elaborate on both, and compare the expectation between the two, as slight as it might be. the order will be PRE-DEATH → POST-DEATH → COMPARISON. warning for rambling and long paragraphs, too 💕

first off, a "happy life" in PRE-DEATH Zephia's eyes would be pretty basic and concise. she would bear a child by Lord Sombron and heal her loneliness. but that's where it ends. she hadn't thought of anything after gracing a womb with a child, thus, after her child would be born, what then? what would she want after? though this "happy life" would consist of Sombron giving in to her wish, would he not expect her child to become a pawn if she taught them the ways of the Fell Dragon? but if she didn't, if she tried to be a mother like her mother once was, would her child not snap their jaws at the world like it was theirs?

no matter how many children she has, there is no place for the Four Hounds in this happy life. they were temporary in her real conquest and, thus, would be discarded once she was deemed pregnant. after all, her only reason to be Sombron's follower in the first place was for him to realize how good of a mother he could make her, right? there's a question of where she and her child go but for that, she has no answer. whatever it be, it would be nowhere close to a Fell Church. that much was for certain. she saw the treatment they gave children—took part in it, even. but she would be damned if anyone besides herself hurt her child. this, likely, extends to Sombron. she chose him as a father simply because of how absent he is in the lives of his own children so it should be the same for hers. he won't care and her child's entire world will revolve around her.

but, a "happy life" in POST-DEATH Zephia's eyes is more thought-out but less sensical. her conquest of bearing a Lord Sombron's child is still a priority, but she does not know where it stands among the others. because, now, she realizes that she does have other people she cares for. whether she has one child or plenty, the Four Hounds deserve a place at her side, however, she doesn't know where or how that is. would she take them far from the Fell Church? even after its damages have already been done? would she name Griss as the godfather of her child? Mauvier? would she forgive Marni and, in some twisted form of fate, pronounce her the dead godmother? either way, she will have a child ( because, to her, she needs to start over. a clean new slate. a clean new family. ) but where would she go to raise them?

after her death, Zephia doesn't really understand her goals or desires. she's realized that the Four Hounds were the family she wanted, yes, but would they be enough? especially after she had such an influence in all of their fates? what's to say that Griss would even be a good godfather? and if he isn't, what would she do? it isn't his fault that he's the way he is as much as it's her fault for encouraging his desires. would she discard him from the new life or would she see her child as the problem?

now for the COMPARISON. let it be known that imagining Xephia with a child is a dangerous game, as her own traumas are only repressed, not healed, and putting a child under her care would only prove how inept she is at motherhood. she wasn't made or taught how to properly love someone and her definition of parenthood is a transaction of obligation from the child for being born so... yeah.

pre-death Zephia is selfish whereas post-death Zephia is not as blind to her prior desires. this has nothing to do with Sombron, unfortunately, as she still wants to have his child. that will not change. for over a thousand years, that was her goal and, likely, will not change until a thousand more years of self-introspection occur. however, post-death Zephia does now see the Four Hounds as a family, though her understanding of this doesn't reflect that. she doesn't fully recognize the impact Griss, Mauvier, and Marni had on her conscious. so while she definitely imagines them being a part of a "happy life", in comparison to pre-death Zephia who will not think of them as anything beyond what they are, i don't think she knows what or where they'll be. because, after all, Marni's death was by her hands and Mauvier is nowhere to be found.

it's simple to assume that a "happy life" in Zephia's eyes would be something cruel and purposefully full of malice ( ex. founding a Fell Church of her own, or another faction of followers, or reviving Sombron completely ) but the only goal in life that she can remember having is to bear a child and live a life of fullness with them. the specifics aren't and were never thought out fully.

[heyclickadee]

Also I sort of accidentally triggered the Scooby Doo sleeper agent in me by talking about not dropping people (ie, Tech), so if I suddenly start rambling about the Scooby Doo franchise on here I am sorry. It can’t be helped.

[honeycombhank]

Welp, I did the thing haha!

Two camp spots, 4 days of camping at hood river, we returned home yesterday.

WOW! And we got to try out all our new family camping equipment for the first time!

This was our most laid back camping experience ever since I had just had surgery a week before and had my Gallbladder removed. Everything went so well thanks to my love doing all the heavy lifting and providing us with the most comfortable set up ever!

I am BLESSED

9/5/23

[ilaliya]

hm

[pinayelf-archive]

thinkin abt how nate participated in the tourney again

[unicornery]

tumblr, the always home of "Whatever this is, I hate it" now with added "You two are disagreeing and I don't understand how, but I'm not going to investigate further"