#*steps off soapbox* i am done

[scattered-winter]

watching an interview with hans zimmer and it's crazy how artists will always always always be such perfectionists about their work no matter the level they're at huh

[fancoloredglasses]

[RERUN] Deadly Force (A Gargoyles After School Special)

[All images are owned by Disney. Please don’t sue me]

Once again, I’m giving a RERUN treatment to an older post that suffers from “wall of text”-itis. If you would like to see the original review, you can find it here.

Deadly Force is one of the more preachy and the most controversial episodes of Gargoyles. It was so controversial that after its initial airing, it was pulled from the rotation for some time, and when it returned the offending scene was sanitized for the kids. I for one am glad it returned, as it was a defining moment in Broadway’s character development and touched on a subject that needs to be addressed more often than it does: Gun safety

[Stepping back a bit: I have no issues with a person’s right to defend themselves, but it must be done responsibly. Beyond this, I will not discuss my views on a public forum. If you would like to discuss them in a responsible and civilized manner, feel free to leave me a comment]

OK, soapbox moment over, on to the preaching… If you would like to watch the episode, it’s available on Disney+.

PREVIOUSLY ON...

After using the Clan to perform corporate espionage against Halcyon Reynard, Xanatos is sent to prison for less than a year (must be nice to be rich and white). While Xanatos is in prison, the Gargoyles still live in Castle Wyvern atop his skyscraper.

[Another quick note: This is the third of three early episodes that highlight the junior members of the clan (the first deals with Lexington learning not to believe everything you see on TV (and introduces Fox, whom Xanatos would later marry), the second deals with Brooklyn learning that beings change, and not always for the better (especially Demona)) Of the three, this one is probably the best.]

We open on a dock on the New York waterfront. Owen Burnett (Xanatos’s assistant) is overseeing a shipment of some kind (given what you read above, three guesses what…), only to have it hijacked by a crew...

...led by the criminal Tony Dracon (he led the raid himself? So much for plausible deniability. I mean, his face was covered by a gas mask, but still….)

Later, the sun sets on the city and the Gargoyles awaken (one has to wonder if those people passing by the building ever wonder about the falling debris caused by the Gargoyles’ awakening) and Broadway immediately takes off to watch a western named Showdown. (So the clan is out to protect their new home, but apparently invading movie theaters to get free screenings is OK. For that matter, where do they get their food?)

Meanwhile, at the 23rd Precinct, Elisa is attempting to get her captain to put a warrant out for Dracon for the heist, but there’s not enough evidence for the captain to make a move. It’s then we find out that Dracon the suspect and his crew stole a shipment of 322 “particle beam” weapons.

And at a cinema on Broadway (where else?) a certain rotund Gargoyle is in the rafters watching Showdown and eating popcorn (how? It’s not like he can visit the concession stand)

Later, in the lobby of the building that contains what I’m assuming is Dracon’s residence, Elisa confronts Dracon. His thugs “associates” reach for their… wallets? I mean, it’s not like they’d be dumb enough to draw a gun on one of New York’s Finest in public, right? Anyway, Dracon tells the boys he’ll pick up the check and approaches Elisa.

Elisa all but accuses Dracon of the hijacking, but he claims innocence as his muscle snickers behind him (way to help your boss’s case, boys…) Dracon can’t help giving one last taunt before walking off, leaving Elisa fuming, but unfortunately, she has nothing to charge him with.

Later, the movie ends, with the good guy having shot the bad guy and Broadway thinks it’s the Coolest Thing Ever, and “shoots” randomly with a finger gun as he glides into the night.

Elisa returns to her apartment and we meet her cat Cagney (I was wondering if she has a second cat named Lacey, but then I realized he was named after legendary actor James Cagney.)

About this time, Broadway pops in through Elisa’s skylight for a visit. Elisa plays the good host and offers to cook for him since she was fixing dinner. Then Broadway discovers Elisa’s service weapon that she hung by her jacket, so he pulls it out and plays with it. Unfortunately, the inevitable happens (you mean Elisa didn’t have the safety on?!) and…

(Thanks to Multiversity Comics, since the video on Disney+ has the “sanitized” version)

[OK, stepping back for a bit once again. When this episode was first aired, I was SHOCKED that Disney let this get on the air! (given what I know about Children’s programming, I applaud whatever producer that green-lit this episode, even if they backpedaled afterward) Apparently, so was Disney, as I mentioned the treatment the episode got afterward. Anyway, back to the story…]

Broadway, realizing what he had done, immediately discards the pistol, grabs Elisa, and flies (glides, whatever…) to the hospital, where he deposits her outside the ER (hopefully someone goes back to Elisa’s apartment before whatever she was cooking burns the building down)

A pair of EMTs discover her (after Broadway hides) and bring her inside. Broadway, rightfully filled with guilt, heads off.

Back at the castle, it is nearly sunrise and Broadway has not yet returned. The Clan prepares themselves for their rest as Owen approaches and informs Goliath about what happened to Elisa and that her chances for survival are slim...

...which leave Goliath’s day pose as a look of shock and anger.

Elsewhere, in a secluded woodland (there are secluded areas near Manhattan?) Dracon talks to his crew about an upcoming deal to sell the shipment, and that they sold a few on the street.

Meanwhile, Elisa is in surgery to repair the damage from the bullet. [I remember thinking I would be pissed if they killed off Elisa (I was forgetting that wouldn’t happen, given the target audience)]

As night falls, the Clan barge into Owen’s office demanding to know what happened to Elisa, but unfortunately, Owen doesn’t have all the facts, but mentions the stolen shipment and where Elisa is being treated before walking off (I’d comment on how rude he was being, but it is his office and they did barge in without an appointment…) Brooklyn mentions that Broadway hasn’t returned yet, so Goliath tells him and Lexington to look for him while he looks in on Elisa (and what are Hudson and Bronx supposed to do? Twiddle their thumbs?)

At the hospital, Goliath watches from a skylight (does every room in the Big Apple have one?) as we see Elisa’s family for the first time, (horrible way to “meet” your friend’s family) the doctor telling them Elisa’s condition (she survived surgery, but isn’t out of the woods yet). Then Elisa’s captain arrives and informs the family (and Goliath, who is obviously listening in) that the police think Dracon or one of his men shot Elisa with her own gun (well, they got half of it right…) As Elisa’s family and boss leave, Goliath enters and gives his own words of encouragement and vows vengeance on whomever shot her (Broadway’s in trouble…oh, he meant Dracon)

Speaking of Dracon, Goliath lands on the balcony of his apartment (how does he know what Dracon’s address is, let alone what apartment?) and he overhears when and where the buy is happening. One of his goons (named “Glasses”.

Three guesses why…) excuses himself to sell off a few more of the weapons (why? You have a buyer. You’re only devaluing your merchandise by reducing the inventory!)

Meanwhile, in Central Park, Broadway stops a mugging with extreme (for children’s programming) prejudice. He discovers the would-be mugger has one of the particle beam weapons and destroys it with his bare hands as he demands to know where the guy got it. (oh, it’s about to suck to be Glasses…)

Meanwhile, Elisa’s heart stops and they bring in the crash team! (C’mon, I know how this ends! Why the hell am I getting choked up?) Fortunately, they manage to revive her.

Later, Dracon manages to evade his police tail, but unfortunately, he picked up a Goliath tail. Goliath follows Dracon to a warehouse that is holding the weapons. As Goliath contemplates his next move, Broadway shows up. Goliath invites him to assist him in dealing with Elisa’s attacker.

Inside the warehouse, Dracon gets a call from Glasses…something about being attacked by a monster. (Next he’ll start saying something about giant turtles in the sewer…) Then Goliath and Broadway attack! Goliath kills the lights (literally, as he rips out the breaker box)...

...as Broadway takes out the goon squad.

Dracon does a runner, but Goliath quickly catches him and is about to kill him when Broadway catches up and admits what actually happened (to be fair, Broadway wasn’t hiding what he did. He was just too guilt-ridden to face the clan, and when he accidentally met up with Goliath he couldn’t get a word in edgewise) This is enough to cool Goliath’s blood-lust as he wraps up Dracon and his goons for the cops.

...and they’ll need a crowbar to unwrap them.

At that time, Owen shows up at the warehouse. Goliath deduces that Owen intended on buying back the weapons from Dracon (but was he really? Or was he going to kill them for having the audacity of stealing from Xanatos?) At a glance, Owen guesses 37 weapons aren’t present (I swear, Owen’s ability to count close to 300 assorted weapons in less than 5 seconds is almost supernatural…)

While disappointed, Goliath figures it’s close enough as he picks up a weapon and destroys the rest. Owen says Xanatos won’t be happy about that. Goliath pretty much tells Owen what he thinks about Xanatos’ happiness.

Goliath and Broadway then go to visit Elisa, who finally wakes up. Broadway comes clean to Elisa about playing with her gun. Elisa forgives him, not letting a little thing about being mortally wounded come in the way of her friendship with the Clan.

We also see the hint of something more than friendship between Goliath and Elisa.  

The fallout from this episode was (a) Elisa spends the next few episodes recovering, and gets assigned a partner when she returns to duty, and (b) Broadway develops a hatred of guns, destroying every one that is used to attack innocents (or any of his friends)

I thought the episode did a great job discussing (if a bit heavy-handed at times) the dangers of mishandling firearms without entering into the “2nd Amendment” argument, and is one of my favorite episodes.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

just because you’re afraid it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Titans 3.05

once more into the cold dark void of the internet with my stream-of-consciousness take on a superhero tv show...

spoilers ahead.

1. i cannot believe that among the first things i get to hear in this episode with my own two ears is the line 'eluded our overdudes'. why must you give me such pain along with so much joy, show?

1.5. scarecrow stringing jason along on this path to red-hood-dom is not something i would’ve ever expected, but does kind of make sense. 

1.55. i don’t know all the details of the original resurrection arc in the comics but i like that jason, weirdly, has a greater role to play in his own demise and rebirth? i think it makes it easier to draw a line between his past trauma, the demonstrably shitty and terrifying responsibility of being robin, the ways bruce and the titans wronged him, his responses to that, the reasons he turns to scarecrow, and his final evolution to red hood. it makes for a smoother character arc rather than a one that was interrupted for two decades before somebody went oh hey let’s resurrect that kid that the audience once voted to kill and make him an anti-hero!

1.75. what’s crane giving him? anti fear toxin? anyway, crane is a fucking creep and i’m not sure i want to see a whole lot of him on my screen.

2. oh, um, heads up: there’s a long sequence of unsteady cam + flickering lights right after the title card upto the 3:16 mark. it’s a bit headache-inducing so if you want to skip, you can go ahead and do that. 

2.45. that’s... weird... why would he dream about... donna...

ok, who am i kidding. i’m going to jump right into my theory about Why Titans Makes Sense Actually because the show itself is apparently not interested in explaining itself:

a) it makes no sense for jason to be conjuring up donna--who famously did not care much for him!--in his dreams. (he wasn’t even there when she died.) or for her to be telling him don’t go or there’s still time.

b) this leads me to think that that’s actually donna, in some sort of limbo between life and death, the kind of place where jericho used to be

c) rachel has demonstrated that she has the power to link the minds of the titans across great distances--she called jason and hank/dawn for help in 2.01, she linked up everybody later in the season, projected dick’s hallucination of his father into their brains without even realising she was doing it, and in the finale, she managed to get dick into conner’s brain. she’s in themyscira now. is this how she gets donna back to life? but reaching out to her in that non-space between life and death?

d) the next obvious question is: why isn’t donna appearing in the dreams of the other titans? she probably is, but they have better reason to be dreaming about her since they were actually close to her, unlike jason.

e) but why would she warn jason in particular? does she foresee jason entering the afterlife--however briefly? does she have an idea of what jason plans to do and what he will become?

f) anyway, more trippy mindscapes and weird psychic powers, yay!

2.5. my heart clenched when bruce comforted jason post-nightmare: clearly i’ve been reading way too much batfam fic. this is a side of bruce we haven’t really been told to expect by all the characters on the show calling him a ‘psychopath’ (*cough*unreliablenarrators*cough*) and him getting jason to speak to a professional speaks volumes about the kind of self-reflection he’s done post dick’s departure, and maybe some of the regrets he has with regards to how he dealt with dick’s traumas.

i mean, just look at him when jason dismisses his concerns! BRUCE IS TRYING JASON

anyway, i have a whole lot more i want to say about this, but i’ll save it for later. 

also: LESLIE THOMPKINS!!!!

3. i really like molly--and i love that she’s a friend from before jason got taken in by bruce, the implication that they meet up regularly and that she’s a grounding influence on him (tho clearly not grounding enough to not go along with his dumbass idea about confronting a child trafficker alone). 

3.5. aw, jason. robin was his armour against everything in the world that would throw him down and chew him to bits, but san francisco proved that even robin wasn’t enough to protect him. it’s really interesting how ‘disillusionment with the idea of robin’ is so integral to the traumas of both dick and jason but in such different ways. 

4. LESLIE!!!!!!! i even forgive her office being so goddamn blue because leslie! 

4.5. it makes so much sense for titans!verse leslie to be a therapist, because this show is so inward looking anyway, and therapist sessions are a useful tool to showcase this character work in a story. besides, at least in fanfic, leslie often seems to double up as a counsellor anyway. 

4.6. oh man. i’m not terribly convinced by walters’ red hood (tho i think that may be the point--argh. i’ll come back to this thought later. have to stop getting distracted!) but he plays the asshole kid that’s trying not to let any real emotion seep through really well.

“you’d like me to punch you, wouldn’t you”

5. not sure what to think of batman’s little trophy case other than the show winking unsubtly at us and going look look - catwoman! the riddler! two face! you excited yet?! it’s like the scene from the end of amazing spiderman 2 when they were trying to drum up excitement for a sinister six spinoff by having harry osborne walk by a bunch of display cases with stuff from iconic villains in them.

... but then again, bruce does like to display a lot of shit in his batcave, including his dead robin’s bloodstained costume, so.

5.5. bruce is so soft with jason it’s killing me. beyond just trying to learn from his mistakes with dick, it speaks to his own genuine desire to balance his dedication to gotham with doing the best by his sons, although he’s often not successful with that. 

i love that titans is really playing the long game with bruce wayne, with each season and character-perspective sliding in fresh pieces of a bigger puzzle. titans’ bruce has always been a phantom of other peoples’ making, but now we’re getting the idea that he’s a whole lot more complicated than other people make it seem.

5.75. it really recontextualises some of his actions from previous seasons: the fact that he locked dick out of his security systems in 1.06 is likely his way of respecting dick’s independence and his desire not to be associated with batman/gotham anymore. jason knowing about bruce’s tracker while dick doesn’t is probably bruce trying to be more honest and upfront with his charges. bruce sending jason packing off to sanfran to spend time with the titans is probably not him passing on a big responsibility to dick (as i first uncharitably thought) but him trying to get jason out of the toxic influence of gotham for a while and a sign of his trust in dick as a leader and a mentor,

5.8. i mean, bruce is a prick, but he’s also human.

6. i think leslie is doing some good work with jason here, though she may have overstepped the line with her line about robin as a construct being projected by a man with BPD. her speculations about bruce’s diagnosis have no place in her session with jason, and if bruce confides in her, an egregious violation of patient-therapist confidentiality. 

(about the diagnosis itself... i don’t know. i can’t really confirm or refute this without a whole lot more information, and i’m not sure if the writer of this episode means BPD in the same way an actual professional might.)

6.5. i think a huge thing that gets missed out in a lot of recent comics as well as movies/shows is that bruce didn’t create the robin persona out of whole cloth. dick did. he’s the starting point of that legacy and to call it entirely bruce’s creation is blatant erasure of that. in fact, i’m surprised that dick doesn’t feature more in the conversations they’re having about the pressures of being robin. after all, the guy had been robin--bruce’s partner--for such a long time before jason. 

6.8. (and here’s the primal part of me that resonates the deepest with dick grayson--the Eldest Daughter part--that’s sort of resentful: that jason gets the therapy and softness and the learning from mistakes when it took years and years for bruce to reach out in any meaningful way to dick.)

7. oooh that was a great scene!

it’s fun to do these stream-of-consciousness live reactions, because the moment you step down from your soapbox, the episode goes right into tackling what you were just complaining about. bruce means well, he’s learning, but he goes about exactly the wrong way to help jason: taking away robin now can’t be read by jason as anything but a devastating judgment call from bruce. and iain glen really sells the moment that bruce realises this--too late--and his helplessness in trying to get jason to see that it isn’t jason’s fault that he’s trying to do this. he loves jason enough that jason is enough. 

7.5. aaaah so jason brings up the elephant in the room at last. dick got everything makes sense from his perspective, where getting to put on a costume and fight crime means approval, means being something stronger and better than you are. dick got to be robin, then nightwing, and a leader of a whole team of other costume-clad heroes. 

8. ... how did jason just walk into arkham????? this is ridiculous.

8.3. i mean, clearly jason’s not thinking straight, but betraying batman like this puts his possibilities of being robin again even further away. 

8.5. watching that chemistry experiment montage was strangely funny. this guy is looking for an antidote to fear? well, constantly mixing up and inhaling gases concocted by a mad-scientist supervillain is something only the very fearless--reckless to the point of foolishness!--would do. what’s to say crane’s not given you a formula for a drug that will keep you tethered to his every will and whim? hmmmm?

8.7. so he sought out the joker to... test the formula??? 

9. wow the “loud and clear... boss” hits different after a whole episode of them referring to each other as father and son.

9.3. waitwaitwait HOLD UP. wait a DANG MINUTE. you’re telling me that scarecrow had enough resources that he could not only have folks on the outside steal jason away and dunk him in a lazarus pit (i TOLD you that this show would bring up and dismiss ra’s al ghul in a ten second aside! I TOLD YOU) but also have his own little chemistry lab in the basement, AND have enough resources for jason to build his red hood persona???????? all of this in barely twenty four hours?

well there goes my ‘jason orchestrated his death’ theory. it was nice while it lasted. *cups hands to the sky* fly away, my baby.

9.6. a part of me is gleeful at the rushed nature of such an iconic transformation though, especially when compared to all the character work that went before it. we’re so used to getting the opposite that it’s fucking delightful to have a show that’s more interested in exploring its characters’ minds rather than battle scenes or recreating transformations from the comics. that’s taken such bold and exciting steps to fully convey all the nuances of its most recognisable character, bruce wayne, from casting an older actor to play him to unflinchingly showing just how damaging the vigilante lifestyle has been to him and the people he loves. BRILLIANT

*sporfle*

10. again, heads up: a whole lot of flashing lights between 40:28 and 42:00. 

10.3. i guess it’s the super-compressed timeline that’s really throwing me off. where did he have the time to get/develop the mind control thing from? or is it something that he got from the cabal of villains that he intimidated at the beginning of 3.02? very messy.

10.5. i love molly, i hope she shows up again this season.

11. aaaand that’s it! that was a solid episode as flashback episodes go, but now i can’t wait to return to the present.

[soniabigcheese]

I don't normally post political stuff and try to remain out of it as much as possible (and munch on popcorn in the process)

But lately, i am seeing the blame game being thrown about. EU blames the UK and vice versa

Its everyone's fault, but nobody wants to admit it.

The biggest villain here ... from my POV is the media for stirring the pot. Flinging out false headlines to get everyone all stirred up.

The BBC is the worst. They were saying that we have a 'fuel shortage'

What a load of bollox.

We have a DRIVER shortage, which is causing this domino effect. And then they continue stirring the pot by picking 'hysterical/sobbing' and 'royally pissed off' people to interview. Just to add fuel to a slowly burning fire.

They ... as well as many other broadcasters ... have managed to ruin many innocent lives but their worst move ... was to defend guilty parties *coughJimmySavilecough* under the pretense that he was 'too powerful'.

Yeah right

I have given up watching the news, we don't even have newspapers. Not for a long long time.

Yes, that probably makes me look ignorant. But hey, I don't trust any of the political parties because they never deliver the promises that they set out to do. And you only see them when there's an election, to try and win over your vote.

*steps down from soapbox*

Speech all done

[psychewithwings]

Hey love! I was wondering if you could do some aftercare with shikamaru, or maybe the morning after yall fucked realll good but just make it pretty fluffy (it's fine if u don't want to! ik soft isnt ur style😉)

Absolutely! I am actually so soft but also just a total perv with no chill hahaha. It is an interesting dichotomy. But yes! After all the stories I’ve written about him completely destroying you, I think this is definitely in order...

One thing I would like to just quickly discuss is a lot of subs experience, subspace, or a sort of high from a BDSM scene due to the chemicals in the brain being released. Subdrop is the result of those hormones balancing back out to a more neutral state. Some common side effects of subdrop are feeling cold, moodiness/slight depression, lethargy, and sometimes a feeling of being disconnected from the space around you. The drop can happen immediately or sometimes a few days later. Aftercare is always important immediately after and the days following a scene. I don’t include it in every story I write bc of time, but know that if someone is unwilling to provide aftercare, they are not worthy or deserving of you at all, let alone your time in the bedroom. Aftercare is specific to the individual (I personally want tea and frozen grapes and cuddles) and in many cases, it is reciprocal between the Dom and sub. Remember, real Doms respect your limits and always always give aftercare. 

I’ll get off my soapbox now, I just want yall to have all the love and respect you deserve. Because every single one of you reading this are important.

AfterCare : 

WARNING: mentions of sexual things, D/s dynamics, subdrop, but mostly just super fluffy Shika caring for you and lots of cuteness

Your body was spent, breathing ragged and your skin was sticky with a mixture of sweat and cum. You were laying on your back, the afterglow of your orgasm, lighting up your aura. Shikamaru peppered kisses all over your face. “You’re such a good girl,” he said, “my beautiful girl.” You could only manage a smile in response to his praise. You reached up to cup his face and noticed the heaviness to your movements. Shikamaru traced over your face, down your neck, and to your collarbone. His light touches caused a shiver to ripple over your skin, goose pimples following in their wake. He kissed your neck tenderly. “You’re cold,” he observed. “I think we should get cleaned up before we cuddle, yeah?” he prompted. You did want to get cleaned up but you felt so tired. “Can we cuddle now?” you asked softly. He rolled over onto his side and pulled you into him. “We can but then we need to take a shower, we have to get you back in your body, my love.”  You nodded, eyes closed, hands clasped around his, pulling it into your heart. 

You weren’t sleeping, in fact your mind felt as if it was buzzing with no thoughts in particular, just strange random images that seemed to pass like clouds behind your eyelids. Shikamaru’s breaths were slow and deep, and you instinctively began to match the pattern. As soon as you’d calmed, Shikamaru kissed your cheek, “I love you.” You smiled and kissed his hand, “I love you too,” you replied, snuggling into the curve of his body. He kissed your head once more before moving to get out of bed. “Don’t go,” you pleaded. “I’m just gonna turn on the shower okay? I’ll be right back.” You shook your head, holding onto his arm. He laughed softly, “you’re so cute, do you wanna come with me then?” You nodded, you weren’t sure why it happened this way, but sometimes even the slightest distance from him could feel like an uncrossable abyss. “Up we go,” he said sweetly as he helped you move to sit. He gave your head a second to adjust to being upright, holding your face and kissing your cheeks, forehead, and nose. He then helped you stand up, “good?” he asked. “Mmhmm,” but you paused slightly, “can I go pee before we shower?” you asked. He laughed, “you don’t need to ask, love, just go.” You laughed and then padded into the bathroom. 

A few moments later you opened the door to let Shikamaru in. He turned the water on and carefully watched you as he waited for it to warm. You were spaced out, dreamy, sitting on the lid of the toilet seat. Your elbows were resting on your knees and your chin in your hands. It both amazed Shikamaru and slightly concerned him when you fell this deep. He understood it was just a part of the process, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. “Whatchya thinking about, gorgeous?” he asked. You turned your head to him and giggled. “This funny video that my friend sent me,” you replied. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows and then took your hand and lead you into the shower. 

He let you be underneath the water first, standing back behind you and the stream of the water. He admired the dark marks that covered your ass and the back of your thighs. He rubbed your shoulders and kissed your neck, he could still feel your muscles tensed and he worked his thumbs into your flex, coaxing you into a deeper state of relaxation. You stepped forward to allow him to get into the water as well. You turned to look at him and your face lit up. “Hey, you have your hair down!” He chuckled, his hair had been down for the last hour and you were just now noticing. It was a testament to how deep you had been in subspace, but also a sign that you were coming back to yourself. “I like it down,” you added. “Thank you beautiful,” he replied . “Okay now turn around so I can wash your hair,” he said and you did. You loved this, when he would massage the shampoo into your scalp. It was the way he did it, it was so conscious and done with care. It was as if he was trying to wash all the negative thoughts from your head. You felt loved and like you were being restored. He tilted your head back, careful to not get the soap in your eyes as he washed it out of your hair. Your hair and mind now feeling much more clean, you turned to Shikamaru. “Can I wash your hair too?” you asked. He smiled wide, handed you the shampoo, and said “go for it.” You moved behind him and began to lather his head. You had to reach up to soap all of his hair and then tipped his head back and rinsed his hair, using your palm to help remove the soap. 

When the water ran clear without soap you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him. You rested your head against his back. He laughed softly, you were so cute, how could he resist. “Hey,” he turned around and hugged you back. You thought he was going to continue speaking but he finished his thought by locking his lips onto yours. It was a passionate kiss, reserved for the times where words weren't enough to communicate what he was feeling. 

He spun you around and did your conditioner and then this time did his own. He knew he had to get you cleaned up and into bed, it was already getting pretty late. Shikamaru took a cloth and lathered it with your soap before using it to scrub your body down, removing any of the evidence from your previous activities. Any marks that were left were washed gently and given a kiss to show his appreciation and affection. You took the cloth from his hands and repeated his movements, on his body this time. Shikamaru was surprised, you hadn’t washed him before but he didn’t complain. It was a nice testament to how much you cared for him. He rinsed off quickly and took your face in his hands. “I’m gonna put new sheets on the bed for us, okay? Can you stay here for a sec?” You nodded and watch as he exited the shower. You stood underneath the water and listened as he got himself a towel and began to dry off. The sound of Shikamaru exiting the bathroom and the rush of cold air that accompanied snapped something inside of you. A deep sadness welled from inside your chest and tears began to trickle down your cheeks. ‘It’s just the drop, it’s all okay,” you told yourself. You wanted to go back out to Shikamaru and lay wrapped in his arms. ‘He’s just outside making the bed, he’s not that far away, it’s okay,” you consoled. You felt embarrassed now, that you’d been crying for no reason. It made you feel anxious, worrying that Shikamaru would be frustrated with your up and down emotions. But you also knew that stewing in your current state would make it worse, so it would be better to se him. 

You turned the water off and grabbed a clean towel from under the sink. You wrapped it around you and opened the door to your shared bedroom. Shikamaru had just finished putting the fitted sheet on the bed. He had dressed himself in a pair of grey sweatpants, but still had yet to put a shirt on. Small beads of water rolled down his chest from his hair. He was unfolding the top sheet when he saw your eyes red and puffy, standing wrapped in the towel. His face dropped into concern as he looked over at you. “Hey, hey, what’s happening?” he asked gently. You walked over to him and nuzzled your head into his chest. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled you into his lap. He rocked back and forth holding on to you. “It’s okay love, I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered as you began to calm once more. Your breath slightly shaky. You relished in the feeling of being enveloped by his warmth, his clean scent filling your senses. He slowly slid you onto the bed, pulling the towel from around you, folding it and placing it under your head so the bed didn’t get wet. “I’m gonna make the rest of the bed around you,” he explained smiling. He flipped the top sheet over you, then the comforter and then he cased the pillows and arranged them around you, like you were in a nest. “There you go, perfect,” he smiled down at you. You reached for him and he leaned down to kiss you. “I’m gonna get something for you to eat, okay love? Will you be okay?” You nodded back up at him and he disappeared down the hall. 

When he returned he had a bowl with apple slices, powdered with cinnamon and drizzled with honey, and a glass of water. He set the bowl down on the side table and grabbed a sleep shirt for you from the drawer. “I don’t want you getting cold,” he grinned. You reached for the shirt to put it on but he slipped it over your head for you. Shikamaru climbed into bed next to you and handed you the bowl of apples. “For you, my beauty,” he admired and you smiled as you ate your snack. “So do you wanna show me that video your friend sent you?” Your eyes lit up and that was the reaction he was hoping for. He needed to bring you back down to the present moment, back to your body instead of you floating outside of it. Shikamaru knew that this deep of a drop could last a few days but the sooner he got you even just a little bit more grounded the easier the transition would be for you. “Hold this for me will ya?” you asked and he took the bowl from your hands as you reached for your phone. 

One video led to many and soon you were laughing and talking more while munching on your apples. Shikamaru took the empty bowl and handed you the glass of water. You took a few sips and then held the glass to his lips, “you too,” you beamed. He drank and then thanked you before setting the glass on the side table. He rubbed your tummy and kissed it, “feel better?” he asked. “Yeah, much... thank you, I love you.” He kissed you, “I love you right back.” He coaxed you up and back to the bathroom to brush teeth and properly get ready for bed.

You both climbed back into bed and Shikamaru turned out the light. His arms encircled your body as they did every night. His warmth was comforting and you entertained your legs with his in an effort to feel ever closer to him. “You take good care of me,” you murmured, half asleep. “That’s because, I love you, and we belong to each other... for however long you want it to be that way,” he whispered. Your eyes opened and you turned to look at him. “For forever,” you said almost hurt at the implication. He kissed you for the last time that night, “alright then, I’m yours forever.” You fell asleep with a smile on your face that night. 

Your eyes fluttered open, the golden light of morning filtered through the blinds. You took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling. A kiss on your cheek alerted you that Shikamaru was awake too. “Good morning Princess, how are you feeling?” You rolled over so that your head was on his chest. You drew small patterns with your fingertips over his heart, little flowers and other simple shapes. “I am wonderful, how are you?” “Even better now,”he responded with a kiss to your head. “Now, what do you want for breakfast?” You laughed softly, “no, you can’t do it yourself, I wanna help.” You paused, and snuggled deeper into his chest. “But in a little while,  I just wanna lay here with you for a little longer.” Shikamaru stroked up and down your arm, “we can lay here as long as you want.” “Forever?” “Forever.” 

[mythiccheroacademia]

Bae I had to step off of anon for a quick minute to get on my soapbox once again. You’ve done a lot for people, for instance you inspired me to open my writing blog back up again to just dabble in it and see if I still like it. You gave many of us bipoc a place to feel welcomed in a community that actively hates us for existing. For a lot of us your blog means black people joy and allows us to express ourselves in a way that is familiar and safe without ridicule. Even if you do leave promise us you’ll excel in what you put your mind too and try to find a way to keep us updated in your endeavors because we wanna cheer you on like you cheer us on 💖💖💖💖💖

no wait bc why am i crying

this means a lot and i’m glad i was able to help facilitate that space. not to be corny but i’ll literally keep this message w me forever ily ❤️

[bitchesgetriches]

auntie bitches i am sad thinking about how im gonna have to work for ages and the only way i wont have to is if i magically inherit a billion dollars or something. Im already tired thinking about it and its just Not It okay I wanna spend my time at home doing stuff I like and maybe that makes me lazy but i dont care!! I havent even started work and Im already done with the concept. I gotta spend most of my life working/resting from work so I can have a life? that doesnt even make any sense. sorry if this is dumb I just needed to say it.

Honeycomb... this isn’t dumb at all. You’ve just expressed, in your frustration, the basic problem with modern unfettered capitalism. We have gone from a society of subsistence farmers to a society where all of are needs are able to be met in abundance... yet we must trade our finite hours for resource coupons (aka money) to “earn” what we need to survive. If you step back, it’s absurd! Utterly absurd!

I’m a huge fuckin nerd, as you guys know. And I wish more people read/watched works like The Expanse series and Star Trek where a Universal Basic Income has become the norm, not a pipe dream. It’s more practical than we expect, and it should be available just for basic human dignity... but also for those who have more important goals than trading their time for resource coupons.

Anyway, I’ll step off my patented Bitches Get Riches Socialism for All Soapbox and just leave you with this: you should look into the FIRE (financially independent, retire early) Movement. It’s basically about people using extreme frugality and reasonably high incomes to retire early, leaving the workforce to do whatever they want. They don’t inherit billions, but there is definitely some privilege involved. We highly recommend you check out the work of Tanja Hester, who we interviewed about early retirement here:

Bitchtastic Book Review: Tanja Hester on Early Retirement, Privilege, and Her Book, Work Optional 

[notmydayjob]

a walk in two worlds | john laurens x reader.

words: 1.8k

warnings: a little bit about slavery just because its john, parent death, fluff and some possibly sexual comments if you think on it

desc: your father is british general whose been called to fight in georgia, with him gone and you alone in new york things are bound to happen, especially after you meet a certain soldier boy.

this is my first hamilton fic and I wanted to say a couple things before it got it started. First of all I am white writer and I write my fics to be inclusive but there may be things that I may not realize are excluding people because I’ve had the privilege of not being excluded so if you notice anything then please message me and I’ll be more than happy to edit it. second i wrote this at 3 am and even if nobody reads it i’ll probably make a pt2 but lemme know.

i kinda picked and choosed what i wanted to use from hamilton and real life so obviously not historically accurate 

There’s nothing quite like summer in the city, children running in the streets, the sound of hooves on the brick laid roads, and the hot sun shining down on busy men and women. You had just moved into the city with your father but soon after you arrived your father was called away to join the fight in Georgia. You were left behind with only your housekeeper who functioned as a Nanny when you were a child. Your mother had died when you were very young and your father worked so Joan was the closest thing to family you had. Before your father left he gave you three instructions. One, the city can be a dangerous place for a young beautiful girl, don’t go downtown. Two, if you must stray from the house never go anywhere unaccompanied. Three, the revolutionists are reckless and ruinous, stay away. Your father was a smart man but often worried too much especially for you. It took nearly three days to convince Joan to let you leave the house. “I will come with you then, just let me finish my chores, and then we may go, but we are staying uptown, it’s nice here, awfully quiet too.” She said when she finally caved. You thanked her profusely but unbeknownst to her when she turned her back to you, you slipped out the back door. When your father left he took the carriage with him and the coachman had not yet returned so you had to walk into the city. You weren’t complaining though, the weather was warm and the fresh air was refreshing after a  week of house arrest. As you approached the downtown district of Manhattan you noticed a noticeable drop in wealth due to many of its residents being either college students, revolutionists, or merchants. A young man stood on a soapbox in the city square ranting about the unjust taxes and the recent events in Boston while a large crowd cheered around him. Propaganda flyers were hung on every storefront and street lamp, you took one and quickly shoved it into the bottom of your basket next to a small bag of coins. For about 20 minutes you strolled around going between stands of vendors selling fruits, fans, furniture, and everything in between. You stopped at the stand of a man selling vegetables and began picking out a few. You clearly felt a presence behind you but stayed focused on your task. “What is a pretty young lady like you doin’ in the city all by herself.” The presence spoke smoothly. You looked up from under the brim of your hat to see a man around your age maybe a few years older. His curly black hair was tied up tightly at the back of his head. Your eyes then traveled to the rich blue coat he proudly wore. “Minding my own business.” You said flatly as you turned back to what you were doing. “You know there are a lot of dangerous people out here who might want to take advantage of such a pretty girl.” He said clearly thinking he was very smooth. “Is that so?” You responded as you paid for your goods. Maybe you were naive but he didn’t seem threatening, he seemed young, reckless, and a flirt which could be just as bad. “Yes ma’am, maybe I should be your escort to-” He began again but you cut him off. “What’s your name, sir.” You asked him curtly and for once turned to fully face him. “John Laurens.” He tipped his head to you. “Don’t you have something to protest Mr. Laurens.” You brushed past him and continued down the street but he was quick to follow you. “I’m a wonderful multitasker.” He chuckled softly at his own joke. You wanted to hate him, you wanted to believe everything your father said about revolutionists but this man was charming and had a gravitational pull that was nearly impossible for you to resist. You knew if he stopped following you then you would follow him, you just hoped he didn’t know that. “I’ve never seen you around here before.” “Is that supposed to be a question, Mr. Laurens.” From the side of your vision, you could see the grin on his face, he liked having you riled up. “My father and I just moved uptown.” “So a rich pretty girl.” He said to himself with the full intention of you hearing to which you scoffed. “Am I wrong?” He stepped out in front of you locking his honey brown eyes with yours. You simply rolled your eyes in protest. “That’s what I thought.” His smirk was so genuine and charming it made you smile back to which he beamed brightly. “So what does the pretty girl’s father do for such wealth.” He posed. “Old money.” You stated simply to avoid the topic but he was clearly not satisfied. “He’s a general.” You stared intently over at him to gauge his reaction. John immediately stopped in his tracks and the smirk on his fell. “I take it we’re on different sides of the war.” He nodded slowly not meeting your eyes. His sudden quietness intrigued you, it seemed like that would have only made him mouthier. “That’s right.” Your voice was nearly inaudible but your beg for him not to turn away was loud enough for him to stay even for just a moment longer. You were not content with those being your last words so you continued: “My father believes that the King is a just one.” You chose your words intentionally, hoping he would take the bait yet shocked when he did. “And what do you believe?” You didn’t quite know how to respond to his question. No one had ever asked for your political opinion, especially not a man. “Well,” The small grin was already appearing on your face. “The price of tea is far too high nowadays.” The smile was quick to come to his face though he played it off with a joking scoff and eye roll. “So, does the beautiful young lady have a name?” “Y/n.” “Y/n,” He repeated your words testing it out to see if he liked it, apparently he did because the next thing he asked was where the two of you were headed next. You went to the silversmith, and he talked about growing up on a plantation in South Carolina and the things he saw happen to his father’s slaves. You went to the bakery and he told you his dreams of giving those men their freedom so they could join him in fighting in the war. You found him more endearing the longer you talked to him. You let your guard down and showed him your interest in what he had to say and you no longer tried to hide the laughs and smiles that he pulled out of you. “What about you?” He asked as he held the door to the general store open for you. “What about me?” You asked promptly. “Oh, come on, I’ve done nothing but talk, you have to return the favor.” His smirk grew quickly. You simply rolled your eyes but let yourself smile to show that you found the joke at least a little funny. “There’s not much to tell until two weeks ago I stayed in my home back in London and did what I was asked.” You explained. “Will you grab the jam jar on the top shelf for me?” You could probably reach it but you wanted to see how quickly he would please you. He in fact did follow your request but not before taking a step closer to you, pressing you against the shelf as he reached over you to grab the jar above your head. “You don’t seem like the type to quietly obey.” John’s voice was low, lower than you’d ever heard it before and quiet enough so that you were the only one who heard his words. He did this on the purpose of course, what he said was only for you. He brought his hand down to give you the jar, your hand resting on his for just a moment. That’s when you realized this was the first time you’d touched, and now that’s all you wanted to do and the brushing of hands wasn’t nearly enough. As you went to stutter out an answer the shouting that was coming through the front door pulled both of you out of your moment. “Y/n M/n L/n, there you are, oh my god!” Joan ran straight for you. Her pale cheeks flushed and grey hair falling loose from her low bun. “I thought you’d run away, do you know how upset your father will be?” “Father isn’t here, you don’t have to tell him anything.” You proposed. “Is this your mother?” John interjected as he held his hand out for her to take. “No, she’s my handler.” You said with a hint of annoyance. Joan gave John her hand and he promptly placed a kiss on the back of it, you felt yourself become envious of her hand. Her cheeks turned bright red, you were sure she would tell you about how she hasn’t gotten this much attention from men since she was 20. “Joan this is John Laurens, John Laurens this is Joan.” You nearly groaned out. Joan quickly spoke up again right when you saw her eyes fall on Johns’s coat. “Oh my! Y/n we must be headed home now!” She grabbed your hand and began to drag you to the door. “Joan, Joan!” You shouted for attention before dangling your basket in front of her face. “I’ll pay for these.” She took the basket from your hands. “You wait outside.” She shooed you away. You exited the shop making sure that John was following. “Maybe we should make a run for it.” You turned to John as he chuckled. “I don’t think so, you’ll give the poor woman a heart attack.” He said then a silence fell between you. “I don’t want this to be the last time I see you though.” “Neither do I.” You said softly. “May I write you?” John quickly turned towards you, swooping your hands into his and holding them close to his heart. “Yes.” You nodded as you stared intently and how he held you. “John, this won’t be easy, my father would never-” “I know.” He said simply as he smiled at you and for just a moment you didn’t care about what your father would say. “Alright, Y/n, it’s time for us to head home,” Joan said as she came out the door. “Goodbye, Y/n.” He took your hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. “Goodbye, John Laurens.”

[yelpfic]

2020 Writing (Year in Review)

In 2019, I posted 3K words on AO3.

In 2020, I posted 214K words on AO3.

I have probably written more fic this year than I have in my entire life... and I didn't even start until April.

Since I feel like I'm new to writing all over again (the last time I wrote regularly was probably about a decade ago), this has been a year of experimentation. One obvious change is that I'm writing from this "alt" account, where I've been posting whatever the hell iddy, gratuitous, self-indulgent stories happened to fall out of my brain. (Perhaps as a consequence, I noticed that the ratio of public bookmarks across all my fics clocked in at around 50%. In other words, half the people who bookmarked my works chose to do so privately!)

I also experimented with:

participating in fic exchanges and prompt memes

writing for a variety of fandoms: big and small, new and dead

varying up my writing style: using present and past tenses, ranging from super florid descriptions to conversational prose

self-promotion on Tumblr, which meant attempting to learn how to use it. I'm sure I still don't have all the etiquette down, but no one's complained yet I guess.

My main project this year has been Once a Runner, the fic that got me started writing again, so I owe quite a lot to it. It's also sucked me deep into Eyeshield 21, a fandom that was active 10-15 years ago but still somehow has a few loyal fans. I am deeply grateful to these folks for... well... existing! In addition to OAR, I've written four other ES21 fics this year, each with a different pairing. In all but one fic, I managed to use a different obscure character tag that has never been used before!

This year, I've done a decent job (mostly) working on one big project at a time. I'm starting to get used to the feeling of always having an active writing project again, letting it churn away in my brain in a background process. Sometimes I'm rewarded with a scene or a plot idea that comes out of nowhere, like a plant that produces mysterious fruit - both delightful and worrying at the same time.

I wrap up this year embarking on a new project, Solid as Stone, which, as currently planned, is going to take me even further out of my comfort zone.

AO3 stats and meme responses below the cut.

My AO3 stats at the end of the year:

Meme questions:

Best title: Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl

Worst title: Lightbringer Mine

Longest title: Their offers should not charm us (their evil gifts would harm us) (65 characters)

Shortest title: Talisman (8 characters)

Best first line: "Don't," the witcher's arm shot out, barring his companion mid-step, "touch."

Worst first line: Yeah, in hindsight, Sena shouldn't have answered that doorbell.

Best last line: "It will be done," he agrees, and presses the lilies into her hands. "My promise is solid as stone."

Worst last line: "I can't win or lose until you bring your strain to market. All I ask is that you hurry up and regrow, so we can really compete."

Conclusion: I need to work on endings.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? I wrote more than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? Everything. I wasn't into any of these fandoms last year.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. OAR, for sure. It got me back into writing, and I devoted an enormous amount of mental energy to it. Runners up (pun intended) were any ES21 rarepair fics where I lamented the lack of content for a pairing I loved, tried to explain everything I loved about them in fic form, and basically turned into my ship manifesto/soapbox. In fic form.

Okay, NOW your most popular story. Solid as Stone. OAR comes close by sole virtue of being a long, multichaptered work posted over 8 months, but with a single chapter of under 3K words, and having been up for under two weeks, SAS is already beating OAR in some statistics. I never realized Genshin Impact was such a hot fandom, even for a rarepair like this.

Story most underappreciated by the universe? All my stories got quite a bit more attention than I expected (thank you, everyone, sincerely), but I'd say Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl. It's original, it was written in an exchange, and it has a decent plot (if I do say so myself) and even a bit of smut. Perhaps F/F work is not so popular?

Story that could have been better? I could probably list multiple things I'd want to improve about each story, but let me just limit myself to one. Lightbringer Mine had more story in it that I didn't get around to telling, and the ending felt a little abrupt. I feel a little awkward extending it now, though, as it was a gift fic.

Saddest story? Hmm, I think just about every story I wrote had a happy-ish ending. I suppose I'll go with C&D,C&C.

Most fun? TBH, the same? There are several lighthearted moments and a heist scene. 

Most fucked-up story? Stars and Stripes Forever (lack of link intentional)

Hardest story to write? Once a Runner

Easiest/most fun story to write? Always Knew I'd Fall. I went skeet shooting once, and as soon as I had the idea that Kid and Hiruma might be good at it, the story basically wrote itself. I also thought the song from the title was too perfect of a Kid song to pass up.

Top five scenes you would like to see illustrated: I would die happy to see any scene from OAR illustrated. Off the top of my head, the Hiruma and Sena bathtub scene, haircutting scene, or Hiruma taunting Monta in the car when we first meet Monta. From other fics, Kid walking around the course with Hiruma and making him carrying his gun properly in "Always Thought I'd Fall", and Sara Spectacular blocking the shadow bolts in "Cloak and Dagger, Cape and Cowl".

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I experimented with posting explicit works, and as it turns out, sex sells. I also really put my kinks out there (sexual and otherwise) and was surprised and gratified to find others who appreciated it. Conclusion: it's okay to write the fic that you've always wanted to write. Even if it's embarrassing, or if some will judge you for it, writing for likeminded souls makes more sense than writing to avoid critics.

What are your fic writing goals for next year? I have a lot more ideas for SAS, so I'd like to make that my next big project. I'm also signed up for Five Figure Fic Exchange, so that means I have a 10k fic due by the end of the month that I need to... start... Beyond that, I'd like to write more original works, perhaps something that I can even publish under my real name?? Is that crazy, brain??

Some specific things I've struggled with this year that I'd like to improve: titles and character names, physical descriptions, making my endings less abrupt

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

donna tartt’s ‘the goldfinch’: an attempt at a comprehensive review

Includes spoilers, because I still haven’t mastered the art of reviewing something without spoiling anything, because I am a dumbass.

It is with great trepidation that I step on my soapbox for this book, partly because I don’t want to be Sandra the Soccer Mom at a modern art exhibition who eyes the work with a disdainful sniff and, “My Bobby could do better than that with Crayola and construction paper!”, partly because too many people like this book for me to be comfortable with dragging it through the mud. Not that I particularly hated it; I view The Goldfinch with the same detachment I reserve for vanilla ice cream and jazz music: it exists, and some of it is good, but it’s not something that has me frothing at the mouth.

Having read (and loved) The Secret History, I was expecting beautiful writing, excessively dramatic and melancholic characters that I will hate with every fiber of my being, and a plot that will keep me hooked till the end. Having read The Goldfinch, my sentiments can be summed up in nine words: when you order a Coke but get a Pepsi.

Theodore is insufferable, pretentious and just an overall boring protagonist. I’ve read books with main characters I hate (*cough* Gone Girl *cough*), and I can tolerate arseholery, as long as it’s interesting arseholery. Theodore Decker couldn’t do me the courtesy of doing even that. That last monologue of his? Skimmed over the entirety; I couldn’t be fucked to go through pages’ worth of introspection and Analyses of Life. RIP to Theo and his sad boi hours, but I guess I’m just different. Almost everyone else in his life is far more interesting than him- Hagrid Hobie, Boris, Mrs. Barbour, Kitsey- hell, even Andy the Weeaboo.

Pippa’s essentially a watered-down version of Camila. I don’t have much to say about her except: :/.

And then we have Boris. A caricature if there ever was one- the over-glorified alcoholic, the drug-addicted genius. Utterly cartoonish. Draco in sparkly leather pants, but not too sparkly, because our man’s Heterosexual.

I’m assuming Hobie was supposed to be the big, loveable gentle giant- the one character we all loved no matter what, the only saving grace- but he falls short. Again, Hobie’s painfully boring and I couldn’t bring myself to care for him.

The beginning is one whiplash after the other- we go from adult Theodore to young Theodore after he has a dream about his mum (who I became fond of, for some reason), to his first encounter with Fabritius’ painting that sets off this series of very improbable events, to his mum being blasted to smithereens (RIP Mrs. Decker, I liked you), to Welty giving him the painting- which, now that I think about it: how did Welty take the painting in the first place? He obviously obtained the painting before the bomb went off, but given that the story takes place in the twenty-first century and they’re in the Museum of Modern Art in New York, you’d think there’d be tighter security. And where was Pippa in all of this (the book might’ve mentioned why she wasn’t with Welty at the time of the explosion but I’m not about to leaf through eight-hundred pages to find out)?

The part where Theo waits for his mum to come home is genuinely painful. My heart hurt for him and his mum; in other words, it made me Feel Sad Things, and I respect a book which can make me do that.

But the fact remains that most of Theo’s problems could’ve been avoided if he did away with the fucking painting. At first, I assumed that Welty’s instructions to find Hobie meant that they were both part of some art smuggling gig. Why did Welty give Theo the painting in the first place? What was he supposed to do with it?

Theo had plenty of opportunity to hand over the fucking thing- he’s thirteen, just barely a teenager, and admittedly I didn’t make the best of decisions at that age (that’s an understatement), but allow me to say this: Theodore, you fucking dumbass.

What’s even worse is that at the end, that’s all that happens. They hand over the painting, get half a million dollars, and that’s it. And I get that if Theo had done that in the first place, that would mean no story, but if your character has to make the dumbest decisions to move the plot forward, maybe you should reconsider.

There’s of course the argument that Theo’s attachment to the painting has to do with his mother’s love for it, and him holding onto that last memory of her, but it’s not like he’s holding onto her favorite necklace or her diary, or something she owned. I dunno, it just doesn’t make sense to me. I just can’t get over the fact that he just hands it over and walks away unscathed at the end- it makes zero sense to my reptilian brain. To describe what I felt after that anticlimactic conclusion: much like I did at the end of Guy de Maupassant’s The Diamond Necklace, only far less entertained.

The plot drags on for far too long, not to mention there’s large chunks of it that could be lopped off. The large section of the story that takes place in Vegas- easily disposable. Boris is the only catalyst to the plot that comes out of it- Xandra and Theo’s dad are pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

And then, near the end, much of the actual story is crammed into a relatively small number of pages. And this is going to be nitpicky, but by the time that rolled around (reuniting with Boris and the sequence of events afterwards), I was… pretty fucking bored. So instead of turning the last page with the euphoria that ending should’ve warranted (minus Theo’s #deep life analysis), it was more of a ‘thank god THAT’S over!’

The final few pages- oh, fuck, no. It’s the sort of angst-riddled pretentious bullshit people write in English Lit. It reads like the musings of that one weepy drunk uncle who stays way past he’s invited at family reunions and goes off on tangents about Life and His Experiences and the World and the Futility of Human Existence and Nature and Death. In other words: it’s fucking boring. No one cares, Theo.

Going through this might make it seem that I strongly dislike The Goldfinch. I assure you that’s far from the truth; it’s wonderfully written, and a decent read if you’ve got time to spare. I just tend to rate a book based on whether or not I would reread it, and I doubt I’ll ever reread The Goldfinch. It made me Feel, and there were parts of it that I want to frame and hang on my wall, or make a throw pillow out of. The book just wasn’t to my taste, overall

[carriagelamp]

September Book Roundup, back-to-school edition aka The Season Of Red apparently?

Here is a selection of the books I’ve read this month. Summer is over, so the little bit of brain power I had managed to scrape together is quickly disintegrating, so enjoying the hodge podge of stories.

Binti

This was probably my favourite book that I read this month. It’s a novella I first heard about hear on tumblr and went to find a copy in my library. I have since bought the collected trilogy so I can read book two and three at my leisure because it was honestly just that friggin cool. This is exactly my flavour of scifi and I tend to be very very picky about the scifi I consume. It’s about a girl named Binti, a member of the Himba people (a real group of indigenous people from Namibia). They are a people well known for their mathematical and technical prowess, but due to their strong connection to their homeland and the earth they choose not to travel through space like so many other humans do. However, when Binti secures a position at Oomza University, the greatest university in the galaxy, she chooses to go against her family’s wishes and traditions in order to set out into space to attend. Everything is ruined though when her spaceship is attacked by a hostile alien race and everyone is killed but Binti, who must rely on all her intellect and abilities if she wants any chance at survival.

A seriously cool book with great world building – it really successfully introduces readers not only to the fictional scifi world and races of the novel but also to the culture and traditions of the Himba people. It’s a quick read, and feels like a cross between Dead Space and Tamora Pierce. Would totally recommend a read.

Fake Blood

A Canadian graphic novel. It was a goofy cute read. It’s about an awkward group of friends in middle school, and one boy with a crush on one of the girls in his class. Knowing her love for vampire stories, AJ decides, like any self-respecting middle schooler, to try to pretend he’s a vampire. Naturally nothing goes right and some things go wrong in unexpected ways. It’s funny and cute. Nothing amazing but it was a cozy evening read.

The Last Book On The Left

I’ve been listening to this podcast a lot since my friend recommended it to me and finally decided to read their book. For those that don’t know, The Last Podcast On The Left is a immaculately researched comedy podcast that’s hosted by Ben Kissel, Marcus Parks, and Henry Zebrowski, and explores the darker realms of human nature. Ghosts, paranormal, aliens, cults, and of course serial killers. In this book they collected several of their biggest name serial killer series, did some renewed research, and put together a book that is both informative, irreverent, gross, and very funny, complete with some really amazing illustrations by Tom Neely. A very cool read (and listen, if you decide to check out the podcast instead), I really love how they tell these stories without idolizing or romanticizing the people they talk about. Their humour always makes sure you know exactly how much of a pathetic loser these people are. Fantastic true crime, from someone who has never really felt the need to read about true crime before.

Midnight Sun

I won’t harp on this one, everyone is already going to firmly have their opinions here. I grew up on Twilight, I was reading them as they came out, and I still love them. Were they dumb? Oh my god yes. Did they have problems? Sure, they came out in 2005 it was part and parcel. Were they also a really fun for a thirteen year old to read? Absolutely, I don’t regret it. Sometimes teenage girls should just to get like things without being mocked.

Anyway, I am off my soapbox now (can you tell this is still a raw spot for me?) I unironically loved this book! Getting to see Edward’s perspective was really cool, and since he can read minds it essentially let you get the perspective of everyone else around him too. The Cullens family is a great set of characters so it was really cool to see more of them, and I was very impressed by how Stephenie Meyers took a YA romance she wrote in 2005 and was able to make it feel updated and more appropriate for a 2020 audience even though she couldn’t actually change any of the events themselves. So fans of Twilight, don’t be ashamed, go read Midnight Sun and have the shameless fun you deserve. Is there anymore appropriate book for the bizarre ass year that was 2020 than a return to this goofy nonsense?

The Paperbag Princess

(and Up, Up, Down, and Robert Munsch in general)

I’m back in schools so I’m back to reading children’s book! And honestly, and of you that don’t occasionally sit down and read a kids book out loud don’t know what you’re missing. Anyway, Robert Munsch is a Canadian author, and one of my all-time favourite children’s authors. It surprised me to learn he isn’t as well known in the States apparently? I don’t know if that’s changed or not, but he is a Canadian staple for a good reason, his books have ridiculous premises, are specifically written to be fun to read out loud, and have beautiful, involved, and hilarious illustrations. The Paperbag Princess is one of my absolute favourites, and as a kid it was one of the first stories I had ever read where a princess is the one saving the prince… and then telling the prince to piss off when it turns out he’s a jerk. Up, Up, Down is another favourite I reread this month, because it’s just hilarious funny and makes a fantastic read aloud with kids. Some other Robert Munsch I reread this month include: Mmm, Cookies, More Pies, Ribbon Rescue, Just One Goal, and Andrew’s Loose Tooth. You just cannot go wrong, for kids or adults.

Pit Pony

Another Canadian staple while I was growing up. If you’re a young adult know who went through the Canadian elementary school system, you probably had your entire heart ripped out and stepped on by this chapter book. It’s a historical fiction that looks at the economic hardship, debt slavery, child labour, and animal abuse that was tied to coal mining in the Maritimes. Finding a copy was harder than I would have expected give how pervasive it was a decade or so back, but reading it again was a pure shot of nostalgia.

Seeking Refuge

A graphic novel written by a German-born Canadian about a Jewish girl who flees Nazi-occupied Austria by way of Kindertransport to become a child refuge in England. It follows her as she is moved from host family to host family as the war continues to pick up and gradually makes it’s way to the United Kingdom as well. It’s very poignant and the pencil-sketch illustrations are an interesting change to a lot of the graphic novels that are out right now. This story is still aimed at a younger audience, so it never gets too brutal but it still is a hard hitting story, especially with everything else going on right now.

Silver Spoon #9/10

I know I’ve talked about these books before, but my library got some more since I last read them, so I’m continuing my way through the series. It’s about a teenaged boy who, after having a breakdown from the pressure he was feeling to study and succeeded, decided not to attend an academic, urban high school, but rather to apply for an agricultural high school so he could live in the dorms, far away from his parents. The series just gets more and more heartwarming as it continues. It’s all about failure and overcoming and how worth can be measured in different ways, and about family and understanding each other and coming together… but also about the realities of farming which aren’t always very nice, especially when it comes to finances and survival. It’s written by the mangaka behind Fullmetal Alchemist but I’ll be honest… I think I like this series more. It is honestly one of my all time favourite manga series, it just has so much heart.

Ruby Finds A Worry

aka Ruby’s Worry apparently? I can’t figure out why this has more than one title. I actually read it in French not English, so for me it was Le Souci de Calie. Regardless, this was a nice little picture book for talking about worries and anxieties with children… especially with the amount of Covid stress a lot of kids are dealing with. It explains in a really nice way how talking about anxieties are often the best way to make them more manageable, and how pretending nothing is wrong can just let it grow bigger and bigger. A good explanation for kids and possible a good reminder for adults.

War of the Realms: Journey Into Mystery

I read this because the Mcelroy family wrote it so I figured Hey! Why not give it a go! And I’m glad I did. Their brand of humour was all over it, and it made the story a delight to read. I don’t follow all of Marvel’s weirdness, so I didn’t actually know most of the characters (Miles and Kate were actually the only two I was familiar with) but they do a great job of introducing the characters and making them all feel distinct and interesting. I absolutely adore the Dog of Gods (God of Dogs) who is a very very good boy. And Miles is absolutely always a delight so you can’t really lose. It’s a single book that I think is a part of a larger plotline that I have zero interest in. This book is a fine one to read though if you don’t mind jumping into the middle of the action and just getting swept along for the ride. Also Mcelroys!

Witcher Omnibus

Bleh. Absolutely not worth it. All the misogyny and Dumb Bullshit that I hate in the original books and from video games in general. Honestly, Witcher III did way better by its characters than most of these short stories. The only one worth reading in it is Curse Of Crows – that one was actually really enjoyable, probably because it was about Ciri and had an actual fucking woman on the writing team. (Seriously guys what were you thinking with Fox Children that’s literally just a story from Season of Storms but done worse. Fuck off.) If you like The Witcher, go read Curse of Crows and skip every other story in this book.

Billy Stuart: Les Zintrépides #1

Another French (Quebecois) book I read, though I believe you can get it in English as well (Billy Stuart and the Zintrepids). It’s a chapter book / graphic novel hybrid, and was honestly a fairly fun little read. It’s in a similar vein to Geronimo Stilton but done much better in my opinion. The humour was funnier, the characters felt less like caricatures, and while it still used stylized fonts it was also less intrusive and eye-strainy than the Stilton books. Also when the story suddenly pivots into the main adventure and mystery of the series? Fantastic. Was not expecting a hell-beast to appear part way through the story. Very interested in reading more.

Over all, it was cute and funny, and I can see it being a good next step when children have read their fill of the Stilton series and want something similar but possibly a bit more involved and coherent.

[heart-of-gold-outlaw]

Welcome Home: Arthur Morgan x Modern!Reader (3/?)

Chapter Three: Dirty Rotten Bastards

Ao3

Wattpad

"So," Dutch says as he walks over to where you're sitting by the campfire. His expression is borderline unreadable. "Hosea told me about your hunting trip."

You wiggle a stick in the air, trying to make it look like a piece of string. "Yep."

"And Arthur told me about what happened in Valentine. With George Foreman."

Snapping the stick in half, you toss it into the fire, watching it ignite with a strange sort of fascination. "Uh-huh."

Dutch sighs and moves until he's standing in your line of sight. "Y/N," he says, voice low and entirely too serious, "you need to be more careful, darlin'. You ain't from here. What'll happen when Hosea and Arthur aren't there to keep you from getting into trouble?"

You shrug. "Guess I'll die."

Of course, of course, the meme goes right over Dutch's head. He stares at you, mouth slightly agape as concern immediately floods his eyes. You internally groan. You'll have to keep reminding yourself that morbid humor doesn't mean the same thing in the past as it does in your time. Still, you stick to your guns and don't elaborate. Let Dutch figure it out for himself.

"And Hosea," he eventually grinds out, "told me about that kind of talk from you."

At this point, you decide to check out of the conversation. If he's just going to lecture, you'll wait for him to climb on his soapbox again. Thankfully, Dutch seems to get the hint and leaves. You sigh. You know he's just looking out for you, as he looks out for everybody else in the gang. Still: it's annoying. You don't need a father. Not right now.

The sun rises over the mountains off in the distance, and you go about getting ready for the day. Abigail and John argue about who knows what, and you find yourself drifting toward their conversation. You know John doesn't do nearly enough to help with Jack. Abigail does most of the work. The thought alone makes your blood curdle. John's a goddamn father. The least he can do is take some responsibility and act like one.

Speak of the devil, John finishes arguing and goes off to sulk. You glare at him as he passes. He doesn't seem to notice, though, which is probably a good thing. Sighing, you decide to check on Abigail. She's furiously scrubbing something or another, but looks up at you when you approach. You watch her try her best to put on a facade.

"How you doin', Y/N?" She asks, straightening up and setting aside the wash. "I know this's gotta be confusin' and all."

"He's a fuck-off," you blurt, jabbing a thumb over in John's general direction, completely ignoring her attempt at small talk.

Abigail blinks, clearly taken aback. For a moment, you wonder if you've said too much, but then you decide it doesn't really matter. You're only speaking the truth.

"No seriously," you continue. "What the hell's his problem? First of all: he completely ignores his kid, then has the audacity to get mad at you—you—when you're the one doing all the goddamn work!"

Briefly, Abigail looks so shocked, you almost want to apologize. But then her shoulders slump and she sighs before leaning heavily against the wagon.

"I don't know," she says. "I guess that's just the way he is."

You feel your eyebrows skyrocket. "Oh now that's some bull. Motherfucker's gonna get a piece of my mind—and my foot—if he doesn't square up."

Abigail blinks again, then laughs. "Now that's somethin' I'd like to see."

Before you can continue, you spy Arthur riding into camp. You immediately shut your mouth. Abigail frowns, then follow your gaze... and you're mortified when her eyebrows shoot up in amusement. A knowing grin spreads across her face, much to your chagrin.

"Well now," she says, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you fancy a certain rough-and-tough outlaw, Y/N."

You snap your eyes to hers. "Not even," you deny, though you can feel your face burning. "Not. Even."

Abigail shrugs and goes back to doing her wash. You look at Arthur as he feeds and waters his horse, then stare at your shoes when he glances your way. When you finally muster the courage to look up again, the corners of his lips are twitching. This, you've come to realize, is about as close to a smile as he gets.

"Y/N," he says in greeting when he walks over.

Your brain freezes momentarily, but you quickly recover. "Hey Arthur... nice weather, huh?"

If there was ever a time you wanted to die, actually die, that was it. Still, you don't bother trying to make a comeback. And lucky for you, Arthur chooses to let it go. Instead, he shrugs it off and starts walking toward the edge of camp.

You follow without really thinking. Surprisingly, you find yourself standing behind him a few feet away from the tied up O'Driscoll. Kieran, if you remember his name right. Arthur gives him a look—and you're suddenly grateful you're not on his bad side. Kieran leans away. You can see him shaking, and the stench radiating from him makes your nose scrunch up.

"Ready to talk yet, O'Driscoll?" Arthur asks as casually as if they're talking about the news.

Kieran groans. "How many times do I gotta tell you? I ain't an O'Driscoll."

"Really?" Arthur raises an eyebrow. "Ain't how it looks to me."

At that moment, Dutch walks over, followed by Bill Williamson. You're not too sure how you feel about Bill. He hasn't outright treated you poorly, but he's not the nicest guy in the gang. Then again, he is an outlaw. "Nice" isn't exactly a requirement.

"Oh who am I kidding?" Dutch says, getting close to Kieran's face. "This boy's not gonna talk. Not yet."

For the first time, Kieran seems to notice you're standing just a few feet away. His eyes find yours, wide and pleading, and your heart breaks just a little bit. You've never really paid him that much attention since Arthur found you in the Grizzlies. He was just some unlucky bastard who got mixed up in a bad scene.

"You want him to talk?" You say as you take a step closer. "Then let's make him talk. Gimme five minutes with him."

Dutch, Arthur, and Bill all stare at you like you've suddenly grown a second head. Kieran, though, just watches you warily. You can tell he can't quite figure out what game you're playing, so you give him your best smile. Honestly, you don't know what game you're playing yet, either. You're just making it up as you go.

Eventually, Dutch shrugs motions for Arthur and Bill to move away. "What've we got to lose?"

He and Bill stalk away, but Arthur lingers for a moment, glowering at Kieran with everything he has. Kieran shrinks back as far as the tree will allow.

"Try anything," Arthur warns, "and we'll have ourselves a dead O'Driscoll."

With that, he walks away. You catch him throw a glance over his shoulder, but he doesn't say anything else. Once you're sure he's out of earshot, you turn back to Kieran.

"Not an O'Driscoll, huh?" You plop down in the grass. "Me neither."

He watches you. "Then what are you?"

You shrug. "Just from the future. I know how this all ends."

It's one hell of a bluff, but you hope Kieran will take the bait. You've got a lot riding on this. Not only do you want to look good in front of the gang, you want to impress Arthur. And this seems like a good way to do it.

"H-how does it end?" Kieran, much to your delight, sounds like he believes you. The tremor in his voice is a telltale sign.

You shrug again, deciding to draw it out. "For them? Not too shabby. For you..." You give him a look. "Well... I don't think you wanna know."

// // // // //

Five minutes later, you casually approach Arthur, Bill, and Dutch. You twirl a few blades of grass between your fingers, then let them go and watch them fly away in the wind. Then, you turn to meet everyone's questioning stares.

"Y'all ever heard of Six Point Cabin?" You ask. "Kieran says that's where Colm O'Driscoll's hiding."

Bill nods. "Yeah, I know it. Ain't too far from here."

"How in the hell," Arthur says, "did you get him to talk?"

You shrug and absently draw a circle in the dirt with your foot. "I told him I'm from the future and that y'all kill him and cut up his body into fourteen pieces, then scatter them all around the Grizzlies so nobody can ever find him."

Three pairs of eyes widen as the outlaws gape at you. Eventually, though, Dutch lets out a bark of laughter and pats your shoulder.

"Nice work, Y/N," he praises. "Guess we can count on you to get things done around here."

You find yourself smiling. "Just takes a bit of skill and a whole lot of lying."

"Well then." Dutch glances around at Bill and Arthur, then back to you. "Why don't you tag along with Mr. Williamson and Mr. Morgan, see if you can't pay ol' Colm a visit?"

At this, Arthur shoots Dutch a look. "You sure?" He asks, giving you a once-over. "They still don't know how to shoot, Dutch."

You know he's right, but the last thing you want to do is stay cooped up in camp any longer. And besides: how hard could shooting a gun be? All you have to do is pull the trigger.

"Take the O'Driscoll with you," Dutch is saying, "and have Y/N watch him. Any luck, we can catch Colm unawares."

Arthur still seems uncertain, but eventually nods. "Fine." He turns to you. "Sound alright?"

"Oh absolutely." You give him a wide grin. "Let's go."

A/N: So, I know that it's been a while between updates, but life got a little hectic with the whole quarantine business. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Likes and comments are much appreciated!

Next Chapter: In Progress

Previous Chapter: Lionheart

Inspired Playlist Track: Green Day - “Dirty Rotten Bastards”

[laynefaire]

You looking for a beta/cheerleader is like a dream to come true and not. I would love to participate in your writing process but I'm not sure I have enough to offer. I haven't read enough Ziam to know if your characterization is on point. I do know what makes a good fic but can I stear someone towards the right direction? Do I understand enough about the nitty gritty details about writing. And I'm not even a native English speaker. But maybe you could take me on side? To be the cheerleader?

So let me put it this way -

There are some writers who legitimately bang out a story, send it to beta (or self edit!), post it, and move on to the next one without looking back. I am not this kind of writer.

Then there are other writers - Writers who question every aspect of their writing, who wonder if their word choices, characterizations, mood, etc. are right for the plot, who need reassurance that they haven't, in fact, completely lost the plot. Writers who have literal panic attacks whenever they post something, and need someone to walk through their story with them to talk out sticking points. Writers who are just shy of co-dependent, and almost need a cadre of support people. This is me - I am 'other writers'.

That being said, I obviously need cheerleaders - even if it's someone to send me a message saying - "Hey Layne! How's the writing going today? Let's see a snippet or a line!" I used to have an anon who would randomly check in with me at least once a week - send me words of encouragement, ask about specific stories, talk about things they liked in something I may have shared. I don't know what happened to them, but it's been over a year since the last time they messaged me, and I truly miss them and their support.

I've said this before, but it bears repeating - some writers can not write in a void. If you see a writer posting an ask meme - send them one. If a snippet or line that they post resonates with you - tell them. Send random messages of encouragement. Reblog their posts.

Not every writer NEEDS cheerleaders, but I can honestly say I've never met a writer who would turn one away, either. Cheerleaders are like Jiminy Cricket to writers - they remind us that there are people who do want to read what we create. So trust me when I say - for writers, cheerleaders are very important. I'm gonna step down off my soapbox now, and go see if I can find a few hundred words before I go to bed. Today was a cleaning day, and not much writing was done.

[flaneuriste]

Really, Roger? Really? This is how you choose to react.  I kind of wish I could say I am surprised.  Yes, respect for Roger’s work and yadda yadda yadda but NOT a good look for a man who is generally concerned about the world’s welfare. During COVID-19? Seriously? People have got more important things to worry about.  I am appalled by his digs at Polly Samson and David’s family. Whether or not their “Von Trapped” family videos and Polly’s books should be featured on the PF website? I suppose an argument could be made against it BUT she is/has been the main lyricist of PF now. And David is heavily featured in the videos, and he is a member of PF. David and Polly are collaborators in every part of their lives - in his music and in her writing. And Nick’s solo stuff is featured (which of course is more PF-focussed). Roger just sounded so snide and condescending when he mentioned that. What I heard was a lonely old man who misses his glory days and might just be envious of the happy madness that is the Gilmour home, full of dogs and cats and kids.   Develop your own website, Roger! It’s not like it’s hard for people to find out everything they want to know about you and your work if they want? Why do you even care if you’re on the PF website & Facebook page?  I don’t see how David can be blamed for quarrelling. My impression is that David has no interest in scrapping with Roger and so.....knowing Roger as he does, has no interest in having anything to do with him anymore. ‘Cause it inevitably leads to disagreements. If you give Roger an inch, he’ll take a mile. Put his solo stuff on the website and next thing you know....hell, it could even lead to legal complications as he is no longer a member of PF.  David and Nick are the legal owners of the name. Of COUUUUUURSE Roger will ALWAYS be associated with Pink Floyd. Just as Richard and Nick and David and Syd will be. But legally, D & N are the owners. I think they’re wise to be extremely cautious with their content. And by the way, as Nick said, there were a LOT of people who thought they were not entitled to the name of Pink Floyd when Syd was ousted. Where were Roger’s scruples about the name then? He voluntarily quit the band nearly 40 years ago (unlike the way he ousted Richard). Why would his solo stuff be on the website? Let’s just look at a hypothetical situation: if Roger had continued on with PF and Richard had stayed outside, and sometime down the road, Richard thought that his solo stuff should be added to the website, just how do you think Roger would have answered? This was Roger’s choice. Nick mentioned this himself: that he thinks Roger regrets doing leaving PF, can’t undo it and can’t let it go. And the man who stands in his way was the one with whom he had the greatest collaborations of his life AND one of the few that simply will not be bullied or moved by him.  I’ve written about this before, about how maddening David must be to Roger. I know he let Roger get to him lots of times when they were more involved and when David was younger but even then, he was able to stand up to Roger much more than anyone else. He cooperated with him to the extent that great music was created but (and I love this about David), he just won’t fucking budge when you reach a certain point with him. That is IT. I think his most dramatic action/retaliation was to move heaven and earth to make sure that the “Momentary Lapse of Reason” tour was (at least by the numbers) a roaring success. But once that was done, I think he relaxed back into his more genuine state which is (as Guy Pratt said), an easy-going nonchalance. He doesn’t fight or flail about or post dramatic updates. He just smiles that sardonic smile and declines to engage. It must drive Roger nuts.  Stepping off my soapbox for now but I’m sure I’ll have MORE THOUGHTS on this later!

[something-tofightfor]

Are there any headcanons some writers have that you don’t agree with? What are some big ones? Do you disagree because they don’t fit your perception of the character(s) or because they don’t fit the character, period?

This is a loaded question, ma’am.  Well, the first thing I’ll say is this: people write what they want to write. They characterize people the way that they want to, and they focus on the traits that they want to when they build their characters. This also goes for what people choose to read, too! Fanfiction allows there to be something for everyone, and that’s amazing. 

It doesn’t matter what genre or fandom, there are always so many interpretations of things to provide a variety of content by a lot of really talented writers - but that doesn’t mean that every single story or headcanon is going to be something that every reader agrees with. And that’s life - it’s no different than published work or TV or movies... which is why we write and read in the first place, right?

There are a lot of characterizations of certain characters that I don’t agree with that I’ve seen and read - but I’m sure that the same goes for people that read my work too.  (Under a cut because I am wordy)

I’ll answer your second question first:  I think a lot of it is that they don’t seem to fit with what we know of characters in canon, and it kind of bothers me when people consistently throw away every aspect of canon just because they don’t like them. There’s a huge difference in reshaping things to work in an AU (what I’m doing with Billy’s injuries in Steel City) or a to give something a different outcome (Logan’s choice to seek help instead of self-destructing in HCtS) and flat out re-creating the character to make them fit into a specific narrative.  When something is a flat out AU, I can look past it much more easily. In that scenario, you’re supposed to look at things as completely different. Sure, names will be the same, maybe professions, certain parts of the backstory... but an AU is a license to change a ton - and when done properly, they can be amazing.  And while I think that everything fanfic writers write is an AU to some extent, the truth is that not everyone reads stories because they want a complete turnaround from canon and from what we know, so everything in a story being different than expected is jarring. That’s a personal preference - definitely - but you asked. I don’t read a story because I want to know how a completely fictionalized version of Billy reacts to XY and Z. I’d like to see him worked into a scenario that’s different - but see how HE handles it. 

Take Logan out of Westworld? He’s just a businessman with some serious familial issues and an addiction problem. Benjamin completely removed from Julia and the Days? He’s a middle-aged man with a shady past and no money or solid place to stay. There are certain core characteristics that need to be kept, otherwise, it’s literally just Ben’s face and you’re Mad Libs-ing in a job and a personality.  And to answer your first question, there are many. And again, it’s just a personal preference because I try to keep my writing as in-character as I possibly can ... so when I read, it’s hard for me to disconnect from that. So while I don’t want to call any specific writer or story out here because that isn’t the point, there are a lot of overarching headcanons and characterizations that it’s really hard for me to get past.

The biggest one - and I know, know, KNOW I’m going to get shit for this one - is that everyone is so quick to write these guys wanting kids and to settle down. Of course, we want to imagine Billy and Logan and Ryan and even Benjamin healthy and happy and with people they love... but the truth is that not everyone’s definition of a happy or fulfilled life includes kids... or marriage. So being quick to include kids or the desire to have kids or just the feeling that children are necessary pulls me out of stories a lot. 

I actually don’t even read ones where I know the characters have kids, because I just don’t identify with that Reader character or that chosen lifestyle. ** The exception is Logan with Emily, because he’s the best uncle ** 

Love is another thing. With Billy and Logan in particular - it’s hard for me to comprehend them going from 0-60 in no time at all and just... being over the moon for someone and then expressing it. Especially Billy. Logan in canon is so much closer to being ready to love someone because he at least knows what love looks and feels like - he had his mom and he had Juliet. Billy didn’t. Benjamin is the only character we’ve seen that foolishly falls in love quickly. And Ryan? You gotta stay in contact with someone or stay in one place long enough to fall in love. You might know you have feelings for someone really quickly, but it’s not just meet - go out to eat once - profess love - drop everything - get married - pop out kids. 

Individual characters:

Billy: 

Without a good reason, Billy’s not going to meet someone and immediately fall in love with them. He spent 20+ years keeping people out, and there’s no way in hell one night is enough for him to drop his defenses entirely and accept someone into his life.  Billy using pet names pulls me out of a story really fast, especially in bed. A sarcastic ‘sweetheart’ is about all I feel like you’d get out of him. I don’t think he needs to rely on talking to someone in bed in order to keep them in the moment. He says NOTHING in bed with Madani, and again with Krusty, and he was straight-up playing Madani, so if he was one to use pet names and dirty talk to bait someone... it would have happened.  Billy never opened Anvil so that he could shower other people with gifts. His money is meant to be his own, and while I don’t think he's stingy, I don’t think he’s going to drop obscene amounts of money on someone, even if he’s in a relationship with them (in canon - and EVEN for HNH reader). Romance - in the knock you off your feet sense - is not EVER going to be in his wheelhouse. 

S2 Billy is not a child. Stop treating him like one. In the beginning, maybe...but the more he learns and grows and remembers, the emotions that he has aren’t tantrums - they’re a very real mixture of fear and anger and misunderstanding. He literally doesn’t know why he did what he did or how everything went wrong - but that doesn’t make him a child. 

Logan:

Logan is more than a sex-crazed millionaire. That is a front. And I know that he’s going to be great in bed and very hands-on with his partners, but canon Logan uses sex and excess to keep people AWAY...not to pull them closer. 

Logan doesn’t want or need extravagant gifts.... because he can get anything he’d ever want for himself. It’s more about the thought than the money for him.  Logan is a lot of things, but him being a dick and belittling someone for being of a different socioeconomic status really bothers me. 

Ryan: 

... Very few people write for Ryan, so there’s little here that I take issue with, except maybe that in some of the stories I’ve seen people seem to confuse his lack of a formal education with him being uneducated in general.  Benjamin: 

Benjamin is impulsive but he is not stupid. 

Caspian:

Every time someone writes Caspian as being hellbent on adhering to tradition and following the Narnian customs and rules of succession I want to rip my hair out.  Don’t sit there and try to tell me that a King has to have a blood heir when the Pevensies are proof that ANYONE can be a King or Queen of Narnia, no questions asked. They weren’t even FROM Narnia, and they got thrones. It’s not about blood - it’s about integrity and a person’s true desire to lead the people and keep them safe and happy. 

** One more overall thing that takes me out of a story faster than anything is the use of Y/N. Maybe I’m an idiot, but every time I see those I think “yes/no” and not “your name”... and it throws me. **

I’m gonna step off my soapbox now. BUT. I will end this by saying: 

As much as I disagree with some of these qualities and traits in writing - when they are done super well, I don’t even notice them. Some of my favorite stories are “Y/N” inserts. One of my favorite Logans calls his girl princess. There’s a coffee shop AU that I absolutely loved and it changes the main character COMPLETELY.  It’s all subjective. I’m not saying any of this to offend anyone, and so I hope that if any other writers read this whole thing and feel as if I’m calling them or their choices out - that isn’t the point. I’m not trying to hurt feelings or pick apart your writing, but this is how I look at characters and the way people portray them when I choose what I want to read.

I write for a living. Like, actual get-paid-to-put-words-on-paper writing. I have to look at details for my work. Things have to make sense. There has to be clear connecting threads. And that makes it much more difficult for me to completely disconnect from that mindset when I write or read. I can’t help it.  TLDR: Write what you want to write. Read what you want to read. Think what you want about these characters and stick to it. But know that not everything you post is going to get the kind of engagement you hope for - because not everyone is able to suspend disbelief about the characters they’ve spent HOURS growing to love and carefully thinking about when you change 95% of their canon characteristics to fit your plot. 

[luna-almighty-god]

Guardian Angel N°17 [The burden that oppresses us, the future that hurts us]

This is chapter seventeen ! Soon the final climax!

This story is obviously not canonical, please do not refer to it if you are looking for canonical information.

Have a good read!

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First Chapter

Previous Chapter

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Etsuko's strength seemed to have increased tenfold, no doubt due to the rage that now animated the slightest of his movements. This rage, this burning fire kindled by Yumerai, this inferno of terror and resentment that he only wanted to pour out. And what better targets than his four opponents to let go, to let off steam?

He smiled sadistically, pulled out his appendages and shot them at Yumerai, but the bloody archer dodged far too well, too quickly and nimbly for the corrupt painter.

Realizing that he would come to nothing, he weighed down and made a blaster appear, firing blindly at his enemies, taking great care to have part of the city in the background. If he couldn't hit his opponents, he was at least going to destroy Underlust as he had done in his timeline!

Unaware of his thoughts, Yumerai teleported himself away from the blaster, as did Ink, Error, and Nightmare ... until the Creator froze.

“He's targeting Snowdine!” he cried as he understood the attitude of his double, the double ready to sacrifice innocent monsters!

It's too late for that. Having no time to prepare a shield, our four protagonists watched helplessly as the ray headed towards the city... ...only to crash into a massive sword, which seemed like a flash of magic to come between the beam and the city.

Etsuko and Yumerai's eyes opened wide, and if the corrupt being felt a new reason to be angry, the archer couldn't help but hiccup feverishly.

As Ink, Error, and Nightmare watched in amazement, a hooded figure teleported into the heavens, and landed with ease on the handle of the sword.

Etsuko screamed in rage, before the ink at his feet formed a circle and revealed a portal, into which he hurriedly rushed.

Yumerai yelped, and clumsily regained his wits to put his enemy under yoke. But Etsuko vanished just before the arrow stabbed him, causing the guard to swear as he tightened his grip on his bow.

Behind him, the figure jumped to the ground and retrieved the sword to hang it on his back.

Thus Nightmare, Ink and Error witnessed the most unlikely scene they had ever seen: Yumerai violently kicked a snowdrift into a snowdrift while screaming:

“I'm gonna get him!”

What the figure sighed as it approached him:

“And at what cost? How long are you going to continue with this behavior?”

  The guard turned around and looked at the other one:

“I didn't ask you, Cross! And what are you doing here?!”

The swordsman looked up to the sky, took off the hood that had protected him from the dust and snow, and revealed his jaded face, where his characteristic red scar could be seen... and another scar in one of his eyes. Still, he was in every way similar to the Cross that Nightmare, Ink or Error knew, and everyone understood that they were dealing with a different version of the future.

Yumerai got even angrier, but instead of accusing Cross again, he took his head in his hands, almost scratching himself with his knuckles as he cowered, shouting. A scream of hatred, of despair, which seemed to make everything around him tremble, which accompanied the tears of guilt that came to drown the poor archer's face:

“DAMN! I could have fixed everything ! I would have killed him and all this would have been over !!

- Dream ... began the swordsman.

- NOT DREAM ! YUMERAI! YU-ME-RAI!

- Yumerai, even if you kill Ink - something I know you can't do - you'll never achieve anything. Nightmare is also here.”

The guard hiccupped, as hurt by the truth as by Cross' attitude, who seemed to really take him for a stupid kid. This only pushed him further into his entrenchment, and finally he collapsed to his knees, managing miserably to control his sobs.

Nightmare flinched. Surely this Dream wasn't HIS Dream. But that didn't change the fact that he was a version of his twin, the twin he loved so much and had been trying to catch up with for some time ... so seeing his dear brother in such a miserable state made him seethe with anger. He clenched his fists, his magic began to crackle, but before he could tell how he thought about this Cross, Ink interrupted him:

“Nightmare... Let's not get carried away. Those two saved us and Underlust...”

True, but this Cross was still unbearable to see. Besides, where did he get such a powerful sword from? Last I heard, their own Cross didn't have such a weapon! Nightmare sighed, finally grumbling and giving up on the idea of a monochromatic soapbox.

Instead, he approached Yumerai cautiously, which was easy since the archer wasn't paying any attention to him. However, the master of misfortune tensed up a little more with each step: why didn't he feel the positive aura of this Dream?

“Hey, D... Yumerai.”

  The Dream Keeper finally leapt to raise his tearful gaze to him, making Nightmare tremble as he nearly retreated. Yumerai sniffed softly and ran a hand across his face, clumsily wiping away the slowly drying tears.

“...oh... it's you...” he replied weakly.

Nightmare raised an archway:

“... Yeah, that's... me.”

The archer stood up feverishly to face him, as if he had never had such a tearful fit the moment before, despite the salty traces clearly visible on his cheeks. Cross, for his part, did not make the slightest comment and looked at both of them impassively.

“I'm sorry about all this... Yumerai apologized - both to Nightmare and the other two. In view of the situation, I think you understand what's going on ...

- That an Ink from the future has come back to the past to kill us? Yeah, we know about that,”Error retorted, approaching in turn.

The sight of the Destroyer froze the archer, who quickly looked away, suddenly very uncomfortable:

“... Y-Yes, indeed, but not only. Cross and I come from the future, and unfortunately ... The Bad Sans of our time have also visited your timeline. I've come to stop them...”

He went on to give Cross a black look:

“...and you are going back to our house.

- I'm not going back.

- You have no business there! How could you leave Lux alone?!”

The swordsman raised his eyes to heaven for the second time:

“Are you really asking me to go back to our collapsing timeline that may cost us our lives?

- I am asking you to go and look after our daughter!

- But she's fine, I took her with me! What do you think?”

Yumerai petrified, becoming livid with terror:

“You took her... with you? What the hell has gotten into you?! She is the ideal prey for our enemies!!

  - Would you have preferred to leave her alone with us?

- NO! That's why I wanted you to stay with her !!!

- By staying with her, I risked condemning us both.”

Yumerai opened his mouth, finally giving up the idea of retorting and dryly protesting. Cross always had the last word anyway.

Ink raised an eyebrow:

“Oh done... I'd just like to establish two things... the first... Nightmare, why did you call my future self 'Estuko'?

- Mm... I figured a nickname would prevent misunderstandings.

- Okay. (chuckles) Might as well do the same with the other future travelers, then! Dream is Yumerai, Nightmare is Oshoku and Cross is Shiroken!”

The group observed the painter with scepticism, and it was Error who decided to break the silence:

“... And our opinion in all this? Then how did you come up with nicknames so quickly?

- Own, you underestimate me Ruru! I've been thinking about it since my double arrived, I'll tell you! And, uh... It was the flowers that gave me those names!”

Nightmare nearly choked:

“The flowers?”

Ink pouffa before nodding his head:

“Didn't you know Nighty? The Creators can communicate with us through the flower echoes. They usually never do... except on rare occasions. And today, one of them gave me nicknames for your you and the Cross of the Future!”

Cross from the future who seemed to have plunged into deep reflection, before finally having a very slight smile:

“Shiroken... I approve. I like it.”

This made Yumerai look up at the sky, annoyed. Cross always made him think that changing his name was ridiculous, and today he accepted to be named Shiroken without the slightest hesitation? He blew, holding back the comment that was tickling his puck, and came to look away ... to get tense when his eyes met those of Error.

He swallowed but found himself unable to look away. Why was the Destroyer staring at him like that? What was he thinking? Why was it so hard to guess his thoughts when Yumerai felt like an open book? There had always been this strange power relationship between them. The archer, although he could feel the emotions, struggled to understand the Glitch. And conversely, Error - who couldn't feel the emotions - managed to read him with a simple glance!

A cold sweat ran down the guard's throat. Even though it was easy to read him... Error couldn't guess it all, could he? He couldn't guess how he felt about him, could he? Because besides making him deeply uncomfortable, it could also make his past self look childish!

Feeling himself on the verge of cracking up again, the archer turned his attention to Ink:

“You were talking about a second thing to establish, right?”

Ink nodded his head, regaining his serious air, but above all terribly worried:

“Yumerai... You know Nyx, don't you?”

The guard petrified, as did Shiroken, who suddenly seemed much more interested, before suddenly grabbing the painter by the shoulders:

“Nyx?! Is he alive?! Where is he, how is he?!”

The swordsman came to pull him gently back:

"Dr... Yume, calm down.

- I can't, all right?! Stop trying to temper me!

- T...

- I know there's no point in overreacting! I know there's no point in yelling, crying, brooding! But damn it, it feels good, you know? Blowing up, going crazy, I got a right to do that once in a while!

- That's...

- It's useless, isn't it? Stupid? Laughable? What am I to you, a kid? I'm probably overreacting, but you've closed yourself off beyond reason! It won't kill you to cry once, if only to mourn Epic once and for all!”

The silence fell back abruptly, heavy with meaning and sudden guilt. Yumerai's guilt when he felt the hand on his arm tensing up, Shiroken's face lost a second of its impassivity to hint at a shock and a suffering that had been mastered with difficulty.

Finally the swordsman gently released him, regaining his composure despite his slightly weaker voice:

“... I just wanted to say... that Ink couldn't answer us if you were asking him too many questions...”

New silence, even heavier than the previous one. The palpable uneasiness failed to shake the three skeletons of the past, and while Yumerai tried to apologize, the words failed to come out and he shamefully lowered his gaze, nervously triturating his phalanges, while Shiroken turned away his eyes in his turn.

“... Hmm... Ink resumed after clearing his throat. Actually, about Nyx... He's alive. But he's not well..”

The duo from the future looked up at him lividly.

*** ***

For the umpteenth time, silence hung over the group. Our protagonists were back in Dreamtale, at the castle, with the Bad Sans, Insomnia, PaperJam and Plum. Everyone had taken their seats in the living room and had been waiting for a while. They were waiting for Yumerai to examine Nyx, who had been put in his room.

Nobody dared to speak up. And even if someone had the courage, what could he have said? What was there to say? They all had so many questions... and none of them had any answers.

None of them... except...

“Shiroken?” Cross called out timidly, leaning against the table.

His version of the future uttered a slight "Mm... ..." without giving him a glance, as he sat in an armchair, busy cleaning the blade of his sword. A sword that intrigued his double from the past:

“... Where did you get such a weapon? I have no such weapon.

- ... No, you don't. At this time, you possess a sword a little less impressive.”

Shiroken raised his head to take a melancholy look at his counterpart's weapon:

“...I remember when I had such a sword... I had escaped Chara's control, but I had managed to keep control of his abilities.”

He went back to cleaning his blade, before ceasing his movement to observe its reflection, caught in a visibly difficult reflection in view of its arcade pucker. He sighed:

“... You have to know how to make concessions. Freedom is not always the best solution.”

What petrified Cross:

“... What do you mean? What's happening to you... what's going to happen to me?

- Nothing will happen to you. The timeline has been changed, you won't take the same route as me. So don't worry about anything and just try not to have any regrets. Like... don't wait until you lose the ones you love to admit how you feel about them.”

Under normal circumstances, Cross would probably have blushed. But at that moment, the warning frightened him to take a step towards his double, while his soul was beating a little faster:

“... Is Epic going to get killed?”

And the trembling of his voice had not escaped anyone's notice, let alone Nightmare's, who felt the growing fear of his subordinate.

Shiroken seemed to hesitate, raised his head, perceived the curious and apprehensive looks of others. He sighed again:

“... Ignore my timeline. I told you, it has nothing to do with yours. Nyx has completely changed the course of things.

- But if he hadn't, what would have happened?” Killer intervened, gently squeezing Insomnia against him.

The one from the future began tapping frantically against his sword, a sign of an anxiety he was losing control of:

“... At home ... Nightmare and Ink had an affair. It came out by accident, and some people didn't accept it. Already the inhabitants of the AUS, who blamed Ink, their protector, for making a pact with the public enemy.”

To his words, the painter reached out without interrupting the story:

“... of course, Error and Killer did not accept it either. Error's attacks became more violent and frequent ... As for Killer, he closed himself off. Life in the castle became more oppressive, and this outpouring of bad feelings made Nightmare unstable.”

Dust was surprised:

“What? But the boss gets his power from negativity!

- That's true, he agreed. But the wrong amount of power has consequences. If Shiroken is right, my doppelganger must have received a monstrous dose of negativity, too much power in one go.

- ... ...and it drove him to insanity...”Killer whispered.

A nod from Nightmare, who gently embraced his lover's waist with one of his appendages while questioning Shiroken:

“But what was Yumerai doing? He's the keeper of positivity. It's his role to ensure balance and set me limits, just like I do with my Dream.”

The swordsman frankly froze this time, as if this question had just burned him, that Nightmare should never have asked it.

“... Yumerai did the best he could. He never ceased to do his best, even to this day. Whether it was to right the wrongs of others or his own, he always surpassed himself, always went beyond his limits. And today, he is the one who is on the verge of dementia and despair.”

He came to shoot Nightmare with a glance, sliding his hand on the handle of his sword while the threat was obvious:

“... If anyone comes to accuse him of anything...”

He didn't finish his sentence. He didn't need to. Well, fortunately, Nightmare was the last person who would blame his twin for such a thing. After all, hadn't he himself failed in his duty as guardian many times?

Finally, Shiroken went back to cleaning up after himself:

“...the birth of Nyx was the last straw. The breaking point. I understand that Error and Ink had had a violent argument, which ended when Ink's vials were broken.”

Words that made both the Creator and the Destroyer shudder, and Shiroken didn't help by continuing:

“...as for Killer, he vanished overnight. Finally, 'disappeared' ... he simply went to Color, as he had threatened him so many times. You can imagine how angry Nightmare was at that moment.”

Oh, 'anger' was an understatement. Nightmare had gone into a terrible, shattering rage that had driven him to destroy several AUs in just a few days, generating even more negativity in the entire multiverse.

Horror, who had stood back until then, suddenly raised his voice:

“Why didn't they have an abortion?”

Time seemed to stand still.

“...what? Shiroken wondered.

- ... Ink and Nightmare. I don't know which one carried the child, I guess it was Ink, but... why didn't they just abort?”

Ink became a little paler, suddenly terribly feverish, and probably would have wavered if Error hadn't held him back:

“Inky, what's going on? inquired the Destroyer worriedly.

- ... I... I know why Etsuko didn't have an abortion...”

His comrades looked at him. He stuttered:

“Never... never... never would I allow the destruction of a being I had created... No matter how small ... no matter how 'failed' or 'unwanted' it may be ... when I create something, I cannot destroy it, that's all ...

- ... Yet your version of the future didn't hesitate to attack you and Underlust,” Plum intervened, staring at him, bitter that his universe had been attacked. Underlust may not have been the most incredible place on the multiverse, but it was still his home.

Ink passed a hand over his face, had to sit on the couch to come to his senses:

“I know... I know... I'm sorry, it's... Shiroken, you said his vials were broken?

- Yes, I did.

- ... ...it's because of my connection with Ruru that I can now feel without my vials. But as for Etsuko... if he didn't benefit from this bond, he must have ended up like a rag doll, devoid of all emotion.

- ... and from what I saw he must have been corrupted by a black apple, Nightmare said. Etsuko is therefore no longer a vulgar rag doll... but an evil doll made only of negativity.”

Shiroken slowly nodded his head, agreeing to say it, and the silence fell back to give everyone time to assimilate the information.

At least until footsteps resounded from across the hall, to reach the living room and let out an exhausted Yumerai.

Ink got up immediately:

“What's up? How is Nyx?”

Shiroken stood up in his turn, but to leave his place to the archer who came to slump in the armchair with great pleasure, before answering with a sigh:

“He's asleep.

- ... He's asleep ...?” Ink repeated confusedly.

- Yes. Several years ago ... well ... more years in our timeline... my brother put a spell on Nyx. A spell that prevented him from sleeping. The kind of spell that drives anyone crazy after not even a few days, and I don't understand how Nyx could last for years... Fuck, he probably cracked countless times without me knowing about it...”

Words that freeze the others before Nightmare gets carried away :

“And now what, why is Nyx sleeping now? My doppelganger removed the spell?

- ... it seems... Yumerai replied feverishly. And of course, Nyx's body and mind couldn't stand it... being deprived of sleep, only to have it suddenly come back... And again, it's a miracle he didn't die instantly. The spell must have worn off before my brother pulled it off, but...”

He closed his eyes, trying to stay calm:

“...in short...he's making up for all the years he didn't sleep.”

Nightmare petrified, as did his classmates, who understood the gravity of the situation.

“So Nyx has gone to sleep for many years?!” exclaimed Horror.

Yumerai nervously tweaked his knuckles, before finally giving the dreaded answer: he nodded slowly, as if by fate.

The shock was hard for everyone. As they assembled the complete puzzle, they slowly became aware of everything they had ignored until then. Nyx who had appeared mysterious, but nevertheless smiling and quiet, like a support, a friend, someone they could count on ... and who suffered in silence from the beginning. Who withstood the hardships without gnashing his teeth.

And as everyone felt their souls getting weighed down by these revelations, a voice of unshakeable gentleness came out of nowhere:

“Is it really wrong?”

They were startled, and Yumerai suddenly stood up and looked around him:

“Wha... Lux, is that you?!”

And Shiroken, in turn, stood up and gave his companion a jaded look:

“I told you she came with me...

- Don't start! She didn't show up, I thought ...

- That I had lied to you?”

A sigh was heard:

“Fathers, can you please stop this useless arguing?”

The light from the ceiling light sizzled suddenly, once again surprising the assembly, before the emitted light came to illuminate the centre of the room, to give a glimpse of a silhouette that emerged from the luminosity, revealing a young female skeleton, whose cracked skull let out a mauve magic that created a short hair, and whose frank fell on one of her eyes. The other one, however, showed a purple pupil that moved from one corner of the room to the other, before stopping on Yumerai:

“Dad, the fact that Nyny's asleep seems to be a foregone conclusion. But isn't it better in reality?”

The archer was confused:

“What do you mean... ?

- We know him. Nyx was exhausted, his sleepless nights drove him crazy. The less he slept, the more he lost his lucidity about his actions. How many times did he fail to return to his parents to 'please' them? How many times did he almost betray us, convincing himself that it was the best choice? You know better than I do, Dad: someone who doesn't sleep becomes fragile. All the more so when that same person is forced to eat black apples every day.”

Nightmare petrified, before shattering the table on which he smashed one of his appendages:

“WHAT?!”

Obviously the others yelped and the fear caused a tearful fit in Insomnia, which Killer hastened to rock awkwardly.

Paperjam, him, came to take refuge against his parents trembling:

“... Y-Yes ... Nyx eats black apples ...

- Did you know that?! Ink exclaimed.

- ... I- He... when we slept together... he panicked... he needed to eat one...”

Shiroken growled:

“... He had a withdrawal seizure.”

And little PJ became livid:

“... And so... He needs those apples to live? Does he really need them? If he doesn't eat them, he'll have a fit again?

- Yes, he will.

- M...But the evil Nightmare said he has more apples!”

Shiroken and Yumerai looked at him in terror, while Lux flinched for the first time despite his seemingly impassive look.

“He... has no more apples?” repeated the archer.

Paperjam nodded his head as tears came to his eyes:

“S-so if he sleeps, but he's out of it... What happens?

- ... I just... stuttered Yumerai. I don't know, I just... There are too many possibilities. Either sleep will prevent him from having a seizure, or no... Or lack of apple might keep him from waking up, or he might... he might...”

The fallen goalkeeper's breath began to quicken as he curled up again, his body shaking more and more. Shiroken knelt down beside him in panic, to clumsily take him in his arms and comfort him as best he could, but Yumerai didn't even catch his gentle attentions.

Lux bit her tongue, then turned to the Ink and the Nightmare of the past:

“Well, I'm taking command of our next operation.”

The master of misfortune is outraged:

“Are you kidding? I-

- Do you want to help Nyx or not?”

The guard swallowed his reply, which Lux took as an affirmation:

“Look, we don't have hundreds of solutions... And I'm like you: not sure what the best choice is. I just want Nyny to be okay, I want my parents to be okay ... and that won't be possible as long as the bad guys on our timeline want to destroy us.

- ... Fighting them will be complicated, Shiroken intervened. We've faced them before, they know our moves. And they also know their doubles from the past. We can't take them by surprise.

- ... Yes, we can. Maybe we can... by using the ones they don't know.”

The young teenager turned her head towards Paperjam and Insomnia. Immediately, Error and Killer stepped in:

“But are you sick?! cried the Glitch. Leave our sons out of this! The other nutcase from the future has already tried to kill them!”

Lux began to fiddle with the bottom of her white dress, annoyed:

“So what? Are we going to attack them knowing that we won't be surprised, or are we just going to wait cowardly for them to attack us first?”

But Yumerai's voice interrupted his daughter:

“...or we send them back to our timeline... and we close the portal...”

Lux turned to him:

“... "Daddy... this doesn't solve our problem...

- ... If... But yes, that's it... !”

The archer rose abruptly, his arches gathered:

“That's how we're going to do it!

- ... C-Come like this? I don't understand Dad, how... ?

- We'll do all three. We'll act first using the ones they don't know... and wait for them to attack us.”

And as the archer began to explain further, the rest of the group held its breath.

[They'd only get one chance]

===

Next Chapter

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===

Credits =

Dreamtale -> Joku

Error -> Lover The Piggies

Ink -> Comyet / Myebi

Cross and Lux ->  Jakei

Dust -> Ask DustTale

Killer -> Rahafwabas

Color -> Superyoumma

Sugar Plum -> undertale Community (formerly NSFWShamecave ?)

Paperjam -> 7GoodAngel

Insomnia -> EnaPouyou