#*shrek voice* it feels so good to be home

[kareofbears]

hand of god, deliver me

Wednesday hated summers. Will continue to hate summers.

Her phone vibrates. I’m outside! :D

But it’s possible she started hating summers a little less.

--

Or, Wednesday and Enid spend the last day of summer together.

Read on ao3 or below the cut

Wednesday hated summers.

Winters are her preferred season. She prefers long, flowy fabric that covers as much of her as possible. She prefers the cold, likes the way air tastes when she steps outside, the way it clings to her like shedding skin, flimsy but present. She loves the dark—loves the way the sun has already set by the time she leaves her classes, loves the shadows the trees cast from the flickering street lights above her. Love the way it makes the hair on the back of her neck rise when she realizes she can’t see more than a block in front of her. Loves the effect it has on people, makes them nervous, makes them crazed.

Summer has none of these.

Even from inside her home, the sun had managed to squeeze its way through the black-out curtains and light up the living room in a way that makes her eye twitch. She sits on her family’s piano bench, idly touching the monochrome keys. Her black skirt is comforting, though it makes the back of her legs sticky with sweat. Air conditioning is a push of a button, but there’s something sickening about the faux-chill. The way it snakes around the room, flowing into her lungs, suffocating her. Even sweat and body odor is preferable to that.

A bird sings from outside the window—a robin with a sonorant throat. Wednesday digs her nails into the keys, the sound clashing together unpleasantly.

Wednesday hated summers. Will continue to hate summers.

Her phone vibrates. I’m outside! :D

But it’s possible she started hating summers a little less.

She stands, swipes her phone off the table before sliding it into her pocket, and heads out the door silently. No need to call out a goodbye. Her parents always know when she’s left the house.

Down her driveway, standing in direct sunlight, stands Enid, sporting a smile so wide that Wedneday believes that she’s physically incapable of replicating it. Only in the span of a few months, Enid had grown an inch taller, increasing their height gap even further.

The first thing that she says is, “Your hair.”

“Huh? Oh,” Enid touches her hair, almost shy. Instead of the pink and blue, it’s now red and green. “I figured it’s time for a change. Do you like it?”

Wednesday tilts her head to the side. “It’s festive,” she says eventually.

“It’s August,” Enid reminds. “It’s not supposed to be festive.”

“Then what is it supposed to be?”

“A change?” she shifts on her feet. “Something different, I guess.” Glancing at Wedneday, her eyes warm. “I considered black, believe it or not.”

Wedneday’s mouth twitches. “I find that hard to believe.”

“I didn’t go through with it, now did I?” Their eyes are still connected, and her heart thumps as though she were terrified. As though there was something dangerous nearby that can chew her up, spit her out, with only her bones remaining left to remember her by.

She blinks. It’s only Enid. Enid in her bright sundress, with pink shades perched on top of her head like a nesting bird, who’s taller now but doesn’t make Wednesday feel smaller.

“Let’s go before we miss the bus.”

—

It has been a very long time since Wednesday had used public transportation.

It’s surprisingly pleasant, despite the air conditioning. Other than the two of them, only the bus driver and an elderly woman were onboard, allowing the two of them to sit in the back without any interruption. Thankfully, Enid lets her have the window seat.

Enid chats, and chats, and chats. She doesn’t talk of monsters, or Outcasts, or killings, or mysteries. Instead, she talks about normal things. Teenager things. About what she did in the past two months, about a book she’s reading, about a shirt she knitted halfway through before giving up because she suddenly got sick of the colors. How she went to a farmer’s market a few ago and complained about how the mangos were underripe but the avocados are overripe. Embroidery is her new passion, she says.

Wednesday stares outside the whole time, at the blue sky and the flower fields that pass by, silent. She’s enjoying the one-sided conversation, strangely enamoured by her fluctuating voice and gesticulating hands. It feels like everything that happened the last school year was a hallucination, a dream turning fuzzy the moment you wake up only to be forgotten completely in minutes.

This, however, is the realest she’s felt in a long time.

“What’s this?” Enid asks suddenly, and she feels a gentle finger on her wrist, stroking the new silver chain there. “Are you liking jewelry nowadays?”

“A necessity. It’s embedded with Onyx stones.” She tilts her wrist, this way and that, vaguely enjoying the glimmer. “It’s expensive in case I need to sell it for emergencies. Or bribery.”

“It’s pretty.” Enid’s hand traces the stones one more time before pulling away. “It suits you.”

For a second, Wednesday considers letting her wear it, even if it was just for a moment. An heirloom to the Addams, one that dates back centuries and carries history that even she herself isn’t sure about. It was supposed to be an honor to wear this, unthinkable for outsiders to even touch.

Then her eyes flicker to Enid. Her high cheekbones and pale hair, the purse of her lips—a childish habit she has when she’s thinking deeply. The way she caresses Wednesday’s wrist like it would wither under her fingers, her nails painted a bright lilac. It’s as if she’s the color that shines through stained glass windows in a cathedral, unrelenting and vivid and filled to the brim with stories to tell.

Wednesday pulls her hand away. “Are we almost there?”

Enid jolts, hands scrambling to find purchase on the call button. “Oh my god, I almost forgot.”

Soon, the both of them tumble out of the bus, Enid still rambling about how she funny it would have been if they had to backtrack in the hot summer, although Wednesday isn’t quite sure what would be so funny about that.

As they make their way to the small town, she glances at Enid’s wrist, unburdened by Onyx stones, and nods to herself. The idea of shackling Enid to the Addams is sickening enough to make her nauseous, no matter how temporary, fill her stomach with lead and sink her to the bottom of a lake.

Her family can try and take anything of Wednesday’s, but not this. Never this.

—

The village resides at the mouth of a nearby river, buildings old but sturdy in a classic European way. It’s small and quaint, a fishing village that had overtime been reinvented as somewhat of a tourist hub, with small stores and market stalls scattered across the premises that creates an atmosphere similar to a renaissance fair. A combination of students, locals, and out-of-towners roam around, the last few days of summer encouraging everyone to soak in the sun and make up for doing nothing the past few months.

Wednesday feels her brows furrow, but instantly smooths over her expression. Still, Enid peers closely at her. “It’s the crowds, isn’t it?”

This time, she doesn’t bother hiding her grimace. “Don’t watch me so closely.” Her heart rate is spiking again. Instinctively, she scans for a danger that isn’t there. “It’s a fruitless effort to try and read me.”

Enid’s expression turns cocky. “I think I just did, actually, but we don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to.” She links her arms with Wednesday’s and takes them down a back alley. The whole path is shrouded in tall pine trees, creating a walkway of shade and cool air. “I had a feeling it would be like this, so…” she shrugs. “Let’s walk the road less traveled.”

They spend the day like that, entering shops, peering at clothes (Enid), enamored by the spiders that crawl through the flower beds (Wedneday), browsing through books (Enid and Wednesday). The whole time, their arms stay linked. Whenever she tries to pull away, Enid would tighten her grip, whining. It would be too easy to yank her arm out of the way, but she’s slightly, abnormally, inexplicably charmed.

Her heart beats quicker, the fear getting stronger, but she doesn’t mind it.

She doesn’t mind any of it.

—

The last shop in their strip is a thrift store.

Wednesday sits on a bench just outside the dressing room, legs crossed as she waits for Enid to finish changing. So far, she’s gone through military uniforms, Victorian era gowns, and cheerleader.

“This better be the last one, or I’m leaving you here,” Wednesday murmurs.

“Ha!” she hears a snort. “As if you know how to bus home.”

Frowning. “I do know how to bus home.”

A blonde tuff of hair peeks out from behind the curtain as Enid grins at her. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone, rich girl.”

Wednesday rolls her eyes before standing up to stretch, letting her gaze wander around the store. Shelves of useless junk next to racks of ugly clothes. No wonder Enid loves this place.

She lets her feel take her to the glass cabinet, the lighting dim but just bright enough to let her peer inside. As she expected, most of it is worthless. Colored plastic, sterling silver, scratched up gems on rusted bases. She’s about to turn back when something glints at her.

Eyes widening, she leans down, sucking in a breath. There is no hesitation in her voice when she says, “Excuse me, how much?”

—

The bus ride home is quiet.

There are a few more people riding with them, but it seems they’re all just as tired as they are. With the sun setting, everything is bathed in a warm orange light. The temperature had gone down to something bearable, so the bus had opeted to let the windows roll down instead of relying on the air conditioning. She closes her eyes, enjoying how the wind rustles her hair gently.

A weight slides onto her shoulder. Wednesday turns carefully. Enid had fallen asleep on her, chest rising and falling in even breaths, gently jostling along with the bus.

Eventually, carefully, so, so carefully, she reaches into the pocket of her skirt, pulling out a pale, pearl bracelet that she puts on Enid’s wrist.

She watches her for a long time. Watches how the sunset makes the pearls shine in an entrancing way, how the color is so unmistakably Enid.

In a moment of bravery, or more accurately, stupidity, Wednesday intertwines her fingers with Enid’s. In this angle, it’s impossible not to notice how the Onyx bracelet from earlier is gone—replaced, instead, with a black pearl bracelet of her own.

Wednesday Addams is not stupid.

She isn’t quite so stupid as to believe her own thoughts. She isn’t quite so stupid as to believe that this is something as juvenile as a friendship bracelet. She isn’t quite so stupid as to believe that what she’s feeling all this time was fear.

Was it fear that causes her heart to race? Her mouth to twist into a smile? Her chest to feel like it’s going to explode? To change her mind about something she hated because the girl sleeping on her shoulder expressed a liking to it?

Wednesday Addams is not stupid, but she is a coward.

Maybe it really is fear. She’s scared enough to wait until Enid was asleep. Scared enough to use the words she’s never afraid of using. She’s scared to want. Above all, she’s scared of the scale of her want. But what she’s truly afraid of is something that doesn’t dare even name. She isn’t ready.

Absently, she squeezes her hand around Enid’s, praying she doesn’t stir. The hand tightens in return, and the head on her shoulder only seems to relax further, the bracelet’s strapped around their wrists clinking together.

She isn’t ready.

Wednesday lets her gaze slide back to the window, and appreciates the warm air of summertime.

But maybe someday she will be.

—

Enid lies in bed, staring at the pearls on her wrist, other hand gripping her phone, Wednesday’s contact open, unsent messages by the dozens clogging up her screen.

i love it. why didn’t you wake me up?

i love the color, but why didn't you get me black? i told you I'm starting to like it more as time goes on

i love seeing you, i had so much fun

summer can’t end soon enough. roomies for life!!

how do you feel about summer?

i love you

I love you

I love you.

She tosses her phone aside, shoving her face in her pillow.

Maybe someday.

[teatroll]

+18 NSFW content ahead; MDNI

NANAMI KENTO SPICY HEADCANONS

Includes: fem!reader; inappropriate usage of showers and inaccurate depiction of shower shreks (water ain't lube, hons); unprotected piv; praising; + a bit more add-ons (headcanons, duh)

Note: should've been less detailed but i messed up halfway and it looks like a fic if you squint (oops?). anywho, thank my bestie, she buzzed off my ears 'bout this man and made this happen. (also not betaread) @cafekitsune and @saradika - banners ♡

♡ Nanami Kento is a busy man. So his world precisely revolves around his job as a sorcerer. So does his free time. Whenever he gets home, he's too exhausted to indulge into anything but sleep.

♡ Although, he's not opposed to taking a hot steamy shower or a relaxing bath with you. It's only logical - practical AND pleasant. Two birds, one stone. Quick and easy quality time.

♡ That's what he hoped for before he found his mind wandering places when your hands started massaging shampoo into his scalp.

♡ Steam fogging up the glass shower doors; hot streams washing off soapy foam down your naked form; your glistening eyes searching for his and that tender smile that he cherishes so much...

♡ Yeah, his mind was in the gutter straight away and refused to crawl out from that pit. And he knows that's on him, because it's been way too long since the last time both of you spent some actual quality time together. Better fix this now than never, right?

♡ His touches are slow and gentle as his hands start to roam free, fingertips caressing your skin with utmost care. Nanami's heart flutters as you softly sigh close to his ear.

♡ That gives him the confidence to take it up a notch and glide his hands down to cup your rear; your sweet mewls shortly turning into whimpers as you crook your head to the side, giving him access to leave teasing nibbles on your neck.

♡ It's not long before you feel his hardened length between your thighs as he deliberately rocks his hips into yours.

♡ The sound you made afterwards made him softly hiss through gritted teeth.

♡ Normally he'd choose a different (read as more secure, because he's intolerant to bullshit) place, but with the way you cling to him now, he decides to indulge into such a messy activity as shower sex. After all, he's got places to be tomorrow, so he needs to wake up early. Two birds, one stone yet again.

(This man is practical and rational from the top of his head down to his toenails, what did you expect?)

♡ You gasp when his cock starts to slide back and forth between your thighs, teasing your clit. Your pussy clenches over nothing as you let out a needy whine into his shoulder.

♡ "Shh, baby. It's okay." His voice is a bit raspy as he coos in your ear, caressing your sides. "Let me take care of you."

♡ Another gasp escapes from you as he scoops you into his arms and lifts you up by your hips. Your legs instinctively wrapping around him, so do your arms to support your weight on him.

(But, frankly, that much is not needed. Nanami can lift you up with a single hand and still be able to sip his morning coffee with a straight face.)

♡ With his tip now pushing past your entrance, he lets out a shaky breath; his eyes flutter shut for a brief moment. The sight is divine, least to say; and you'd gladly enjoy it all day long but the way his cock slowly stretches your velvety walls makes your vision blurry.

♡ You squirm and pant into the crook of his neck as his grip on you tightens ever so slightly while he slides all the way in.

♡ There's a pause as he lets you adjust to the feeling, whispering so sweetly in your ear it almost melts your brain into mush.

♡ That man will be giving you a praise kink of the century, there's ZERO debate here. And a simple "good girl" won't cut it either.

♡ He'll shower you in praises for how well you're taking him, for how delightful your moans are, for how cute the blush spreads across your cheeks and neck. Basically, anything his senses pick up on, he'll put on a pedestal.

♡ His thrusts are slow, deep, and so fucking sensual it almost feels like a torture. Of pleasure, obviously. Doesn't dismiss the fact you crave more and make it know as you pull him into the kiss by the back of his neck.

♡ He catches your moans with his lips, savors them like candy. It heats up every nerve in his body, makes his muscles tense as he picks up the pace.

♡ How can he not provide his sweet girl with what she truly wants? Denying you of anything feels so wrong that he can't help but indulge into it all over again.

(Is it a flock of birds, one giant rock now? Probably is.)

♡ He's definitely panting. Maybe even whimpers a bit, but the sound is muffled by your lips on his and hushed by the shower, so you can't really be sure.

♡ What you can be sure of, though, is that familiar knot forming in your core. And that feeling gradually increases with each grind of his. There's quite a bit more force to it now, so that previous tenderness is replaced by pure passion.

♡ There's no escaping a headcanon of Nanami guiding you through your orgasm. Because he definitely does so.

♡ "That's it, just a little more. You can do this, baby." AND "You're so precious. Let me hear those pretty sounds, come on."

♡ SPEAKING OF WHICH, definitely tries to maintain eye contact as you finish.

♡ He wants to feel as your walls clench around him, wants to hear you gasp a choked moan, he craves to watch you crumble on his cock.

♡ That sets him off more than anything as he follows you shortly after, spilling inside you with an ecstatic grunt.

♡ Normally, he'd pull out for sure. But since you're already in the shower, why not to indulge into yet another shower session? But this time, it's your turn to be on the receiving end.

♡ After a short cock warming session as you both try to catch your breath.

(And who knows, maybe this time he'll be able to contain himself and actually just do a simple mundane activity and not waste water for half an hour.)

(Fingers crossed, but the bill will be enormous either way.)

♡ Nanami would definitely kiss your jaw/line of pulse lazily and nibble on your neck.

♡ Praising is obviously a part of aftercare as well, how can he set that aside??

♡ Would leave a gentle peck on the sweet spot just below your ear.

"Now, now, darling. Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?"

♡ EXTRA ♡

♡ Missionary is his "to go to", because that way he can witness every little change in your expression.

♡ He's leaning closer to vanilla tbh.

♡ BUT, if he's frustrated, there will be a quickie on his desk.

♡ Dead ass will ruin you. Your hips will be sore for a week.

(Everything will be sore since we're at it.)

♡ Not to mention there WILL be hair pulling. (I see you, horny people. I know what you want.)

♡ Aftercare now involves him doing everything in his power to soothe you.

♡ Will definitely think you're sobbing because he hurt you, when, on the contrary, that was pure bliss.

♡ Remind that man of it, he tends to forget that vanilla isn't the only thing that exists.

♡ High chance he adores watching you please yourself. Both with fingers and toys.

♡ Hey, he knows you'd rather feel full on his cock, but he's not opposed to teasing.

♡ He might be pure vanilla (hello cookie run lmao), but even so, Nanami can add some spice to your shared love life once in a while.

♡ Especially when it involves giving you the best of times. (Yes, with teasing too.)

♡ SUKUNA RYOMEN ♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO ♡

[ghouldump]

Trick or Treat | Lestat de Lioncourt x Reader

ෆ sneaking into the supposedly empty townhouse, you are met by a surprise

literally something fun and random since we’re officially in spooky season 😆🎃

“what are you supposed to be?” the random girl asked, as you stood in the mirror, applying the burgundy lipstick.

“a vampire,” you said, sitting the stick down to reach and tighten your corset.

“could've had me fooled, i thought you were a hooker,” she cackled, while you frowned.

“and you are?”

“poision ivy-

“are you sure though, because it’s giving fiona in shrek forever after,” you said, the rest of your friends laughing, while she frowned, storming out of the crowded bathroom.

“bitch,” you mumbled, watching the door as she walked away.

you had allowed your friends to drag you to the nightclub, the prices were half off for those with costumes, which is why you dressed up to begin with. you loved to party, but not tonight, not when you intended on binge-watching all of your favorite halloween movies you'd seen too many times to count.

“i’ll be back, i need some air,” you mumbled, leaving the restroom before any of your friends could stop you.

stepping outside, you sighed, it was refreshing to be out of the humid building. the wind blowing in the night sky, as the tourist crowded the french quarters. you didn’t see the hype, everything was always overpriced — but your friends insisted, claiming all of the potential hook ups would be in the club tonight.

“y/n, are you okay?” kasey, a close friend, came out of the club, her eyebrows slightly raised.

“i’m fine, i’m just not feeling it, i think i’ll catch an uber home,” you said.

“i can bring you-

“no, i don’t want to ruin tonight, i’ll text you when i’m home, you have fun,” you told her, hugging her as she nodded.

“see you later,” she said, going back into the building.

opening the app on your phone, you were about to type in your address, when the voice caught your attention.

“this is the house of the famous rockstar, lestat de lioncourt, he claims to be a vampire,” the tour guide said excitedly, as you slowly approached the group.

“do you think it’s true?”

“well, new orleans has always been a strange place, so we can’t be sure — but he could have a potential ancestor who’s name was also lestat, who moved here, from france,” the guide explained, making you look at the large townhouse.

you were just now hearing about this. you had seen the rockstar a few times in the media, but you had no idea he lived in new orleans. there was too much history from all over the city, to be fascinated by one individual, who could have been a vampire.

pretending to be on your phone, you waited until the group moved along before you slipped past the fence, and went to the door. twisting the knob, you were surprised to find the door unlocked. were they not afraid people would sneak into this house?

shutting the door behind yourself, you turned on your phone’s flashlight, and walking through the house. first, the living room, vintage, yet timeless, each piece of furniture, costly in price. thousands of books, most you hadn’t even heard of, your fingers lightly dragged across them. moving upstairs, you stopped at the first door, twisting the knob, but realized, it was locked.

going to the second door, you entered the master bedroom, eyeing the king-sized bed in the middle of the room, you walked from corner to corner, touching any and everything, when you accidentally triggered a lever — opening a hidden room. seeing a singular coffin, you gasped.

the rumors seemed to likely be true, you couldn’t wait to get home and text the group chat about this. turning to leave, you jumped back, as your flashlight was pointed at the blonde man, who stood around six feet, with peculiar blue eyes.

“oh my goodness, you scared the hell out of me,” you said, making him grin. his expression was sending chills down your spine.

“it isn’t nice to enter someone’s home without their permission,” he said, as you stared into his eyes, it dawned on you, that this was the rockstar…who is a vampire.

“i am so sorry, i wasn’t thinking, but i really need to get going-” you went to move around him, when he moved in front of you, the lights turning on. he hadn't even touched the switch, and yet the room had lit up in an instant.

“i can’t just let you leave, not after what you’ve seen,” he said, smiling as you backed away.

“i won’t tell anyone, i don’t know why i-

“shh, shh, you’re so afraid,” he said, his smiling growing, as he reached to touch your pounding heart.

“please don’t hurt me,” you shut your eyes, turning your head.

“trick or treat”

“excuse me?” you opened your eyes, facing him.

“trick or treat, let’s determine if you deserve to leave so freely,” he tilted his head.

“treat,” you gulped, as he grinned, his fangs showing.

“are you supposed to be a vampire?” he asked suddenly, chuckling.

“y-yes” he was the first person to get it right all night, in the first guess.

“i mean, i see it, but it’s a bit stereotypical, don’t you think,” he said, crossing his arms, as he examined the costume.

“where did you get it?” he reached, tracing the fabric.

“spirit…halloween,” you said, as he rolled his eyes.

“that explains why it feels so cheap,” he said before he was back staring at you.

“please don’t kill me”

“you’re an eccentric human, your thoughts are so complex, i think i’ll keep you around,” he said, moving closer. your thoughts were like a storm, conflicting, while intriguing.

“mister-

“don’t worry, chèrie, you are destined for a treat unlike any other,” he said, pulling you closer, his fangs sinking into your neck.

“is it still ringing? i can try calling her,” kasey stressed, a few hours into the morning, she realized you never texted her. the sun was now setting, and they were scrambling to get in contact with you.

meanwhile, in the luxurious townhouse, hidden in the secret room — lestat laid in his coffin. your phone lay on the counter, ringing for the millionth time, but you didn’t hear it. straddling his lap, there was a light thumping from the shifting of the coffin. your moans filled the walls, as lestat traced up your pretty skin, now covered with the beauty marks of his fangs.

coming down from the euphoric state, you leaned down, kissing his soft lips. moaning, you giggled as he kissed from your lips, onto your neck, before his fangs were back in your neck. your eyes rolled back, moaning at the feeling. while it hurt, the first few times, there was only pleasure now.

pulling away, you stared into lestat’s eyes, kissing his lips, tasting the iron from your blood. you couldn't help but admire the amount of control lestat had over himself.

“will you turn me into a vampire?” you asked him, as his hand went to your neck, tracing down to your shoulder.

“do you want to be a vampire?” he asked, as his hand moved back up, laying against your cheek, as you nodded.

“when i was younger, i used to pretend to be one,” you admitted.

“prove yourself to me, and we can discuss the possibility,” he said, as you pecked his lips once more, nodding in understanding.

“can i have your autograph, my friend are probably losing their minds, and i need a really good reason why i haven't reached out,” you told him, your nails trailing down his chest.

“of course, but i expect to see you back tomorrow night,” he said matter of factly, holding your hand, as you carefully stood.

going to your phone, your eyes widened at the number of calls and messages. “oh my-i don't think that will be enough, they’ll probably hate me after this,” you stressed, flenching, as he ended up behind you in a matter of seconds.

“tell them you were busy, stuck in a game of trick or treat,” he winked, as you nodded, beginning to get dressed. grabbing a marker, he signed your cleavage and sent you on your way, fully expecting you back in the next few hours.

god, you loved halloween.

i can't decide if i prefer a happy ending, or angst, like ughh

[keline11]

Missa and Roier Discussion.

(Long post with a lot of text. "Mucho texto")

Missa was telling roier that he lives with tallulah, chay and phil, so roier got a little mad/upset that missa wasn’t going to live in the mexican village.

Missa: (about his house)"a beautiful house, beautiful."

Roier: "no, well, you can stay there! you can stay there if you want!!"

M: "No, you don’t understand, they are making the house bigger so there could be a guest room in case that you want to go. But you're being aggressive, asshole! I was going to invite you to-"

Ro: "Nonono I thought that you were going to live with the Mexicans instead of going with them."

M: "no, I am going to work with the Mexicans, 8 hrs a day, it’s going to be like I live here."

Ro: "aah you are going to work with the mexicans and then go with the americans"

M: "well, first they are british."

….

Ro: "well, but let’s see, if at any moment they throw you out of the house you can live here."

M: "ok ok, I don’t think they’ll kick me out but-"

Ro: "Uuuuy you are a fucking sugar baby, you are a parasite!"

M: "You don’t understand. I am still poor, I don’t want to be like that forever, I want to help in the house."

They talk about the mission of building a house, so missa decides to build a vacation home in the mexican village.

M: "Chayanne, tallulah, I am going to build a vacation house here, in latam, ok? only for vacation-"

Ro: "to live here with the fucking idiots-"

M: "(In home) When we feel relaxed with a lot of peace, we can come here and feel danger."

Ro: "aah I see, you are the typical uncle that goes to live at the US."

Tallulah: "you can live where you want, it’s ok :D"

M: "nonono, if I can live where I want, I want to live with you guys. ok?"

Ro: "nonono it’s ok, it's understandable that you betray the homeland."

Missa liked something of the house

Ro: "see you could live here but no, you preferred to be with the british, it’s ok, it’s understandable, it’s totally understandable that you betray the homeland. It’s understandable! that you prefer the people that speak *british accent*, you like it more, no? well it’s ok there’s nothing wrong."

M: "well where can I build my house?"

Ro: "NO, NO, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIVE HERE!!"

M: "I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT ME HERE OR NOT!! I AM GOING TO BUILD MY HOUSE!"

Ro: "YOU ARE NOT LIVING HERE DAMMIT!"

M: "I AM GOING TO BE THE ANNOYING NEIGHBOR THAT-"

Ro: "NO-"

Rivers: "Hello?"

R: "Rivers, hi"

M: "Rivers, how are you?"

Ri: "Hello!"

Ro: "We were fighting! but come in."

Ri: "Why?"

M: "Yeah, you are always welcome."

Ro: "Because guess what? He betray us! 'They change us shrek!'" (reference?)

Pepito: "Hello :-D Sounds like latam here D:"

M: "We are in latam that’s right. (to roier) It doesn’t sound like this in the house of the fucking british you say! There smells like flowers, it is pretty, relaxing, peaceful, and here? here are only screams!"

Ro: "Look, look you are right! Felipe smells good, he has a lot of money, he likes takis, and he is so handsome! eh? and he smells good again! but here we are the mexican brothers *sings 'méxico en la piel'*"

M: "Hey dude, I was going to build my house here but your house is in the middle. Can you remove it?"

Ro: "ok, I’ll do it."

M: "thank you-"

Ro: "NO! I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT, FUCK!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU ARE NOT LIVING HERE!! ASSHOLE!"

Missa is looking for a place to build the house.

M: "I am going to put it this way."

Ro: "You are not putting any house anywhere, asshole! Did you hear me?"

M: "shut up, shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up."

R: "Shut the fuck up you, fucking bitch, did you hear me? get the fuck out of my territory. *doing a funny voice* 'I don't fucking want you here, Get the hell out of here you bastard.'"(reference2)

Missa starts working.

Ro: *reading pepito sign* "'Apa what happened?', No pepito here, HERE! NOTHING HAPPENED! NOTHING, JUST THAT THERE'S AN UNCLE THAT IS AN ASSHOLE! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED! 'we moved out to china that’s what happened!'" (reference3)

M: (to chay and tallulah) "don’t pay attention, he is a little sick."

Roier makes an alarm type sound.

M: "Roier, it's that the call- the call for…?"

Ro: "It's the call for you to get the fuck out of here!"

M: “I already made my house. Do you want to see? I am your neighbor”

Ro: “This shit is not staying here”

M: “Ha-ha-ha I already put the door”

Ro: “Fuck”

Missa needed glass for the windows so he took roier’s furnace, but roier had gold in it.

Ro: “Hey! what the fuck? you motherfucker! My experience! ajsdnkajnskd!!” *screams nonsense*

M: *in his house*“It’s private property you can’t enter!”

Ro: “Hey stupid! my bread! motherfucker!... well keep it fucking poor”

M: “It wasn't bread it was gold, take it”

Ro: “What? gold? give me the fucking gold!”

M: “relax man, it’s not that serious”

Ro: “Fuck you, I thought that it was bread and i was going to give it to you, fucking poor”

M: “But you realize, true friends forgive each other”

Ro: “Fuck you, you live next to me, fucking ugly house you made only to take up space, fucking monopoly looking ass house”

M: “What are you talking-? yeah, it looks like snoopy’s house”

Ro: “Put the fucking furnace idiot”

M: “Don’t worry i’ll make you another one” *starts mining the blocks of roier’s wall*

Ro: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? ASSHOLE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?”

M: “I AM MAKING YOU ANOTHER FURNACE!”

Ro: “BUT WHY DID YOU TAKE STONE FROM MY WALL? YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

M: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE VERY STRANGE TODAY!"

Ro: "THE STRANGE ONE HERE IS YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!”

M: “WHAT IS WRONG? WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

Ro: “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! GO WITH FELIPE! GO WITH FELIPE!

M: “I MADE YOU ANOTHER FUCKING FURNACE! THERE IT IS!"

Ro: *cursing him in words that are weird to translate*

Then they go explore like a latam family.

"END?"

[marciabrady]

Perhaps you give us your thoughts about Snow White? (I'm not quite sure if you ever gave your full thoughts on her at length)

Hi there- thank you for the question! I've answered it here before and touched on her in my appreciation/defense (so sad you have to defend the original princesses if you like them lol) posts here, here, here, and here.

Ultimately, I think she's the most dynamic, fascinating, and important female character of all time. The original four, generally, are my favorites and I never choose between them because there's something that I connect to about each of them- but facts are facts. Without Snow White, none of the other Princesses would exist, the genre of animation wouldn't exist as we know it, the Disney parks would never exist- Disney itself probably wouldn't exist. Pop culture probably wouldn't, we'd go a completely different way about merchandising and publishing soundtracks, about the princess archetype and there wouldn't even be a basis through which to satirize the fairytales, as has become so common (Shrek, Frozen, Enchanted, Disenchanted, Moana, etc). But enough about her inestimable impact on so many industries- how do I feel about her?

Simply put, I love her. She reminds me of my Grandmother in the most beautiful way. My Grandmother loves to cook and clean, yes, and they're from the same era so there are parallels that seem obvious and they were both viewed as the most beautiful women...but they're the most vibrant and enchanting people. They're so funny and good natured that it's hard for anyone to be cross or have a long face about them. They're such a bright light that you almost assume they're simple minded, because surely no one who's ever lived with all their senses about them would be able to be so...kind and unhardened? But they are far from being simple-minded- they're so sharp and mix beautifully with others and have had such heartbreaking pasts, survivors through and through, but they've been so resilient in surviving their pasts and not allowing it to shape them or the way they see others, that people frequently forget their journey and view them as shallow. You know how the Genie says, "you'll never find another girl like that in a million years" about Jasmine? That's the way I feel about them- that rarity of spirit and joy and voice and beauty. The best friend you'll ever have, being selfless and overly empathetic, yes to a fault, but in a way that puts into perspective once more what living is all about and awakens you to how jaded and cynical everyone around you is and how numb you, yourself, might even be to human suffering? It reinstates the importance of a simple act of kindness and how much of a difference that can make to someone. In a world where women need to be superheros to be taken seriously or have to know martial arts or have to be violent or possess magical powers, I love how human Snow White is allowed to be. Her personality and fullness of life is enough to ensure her place in the stable of Hollywood's stars. It also makes me laugh because it's shown me how insincere people are? I grew up with seeing people say Snow White's short hair is unattractive or that she is unattractive, body shaming her and saying she has a double chin or full arms, or hating her voice. And it's so funny now that everyone seems to want different design types for the princesses, more body inclusivity, that they're touting to not be so harsh about female appearances. But everything people are asking for now are qualities Snow White has always possessed in spades! "Girl boss" Snow White literally bartered her marketable skills she learned as a slave in order to get room and board "no push over" she literally shoved back on the Dwarfs when they tried to disregard her instructions. Even all of the "why didn't Cinderella just leave her household!" people are blind the to the fact that Snow White did run away from home and had to start all over again from scratch, essentially a homeless person in the woods without any resources. No, Snow White is the most unique- the most different in every way possible and the strongest because she is a complete and total individual. To quote Elizabeth Taylor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, she is the earth mother and we're all flops lol there will never be another Snow White.

[thickhoneybun]

It meant nothing

Summary: y/n is dating Rooster and they live together. After a get together Jake spends the night and kisses y/n.

WC: 1006

Warning: Cussing 

The party had been over for a few hours and now you are laid in bed with Bradley. He is asleep and snoring so loud. Every time he drinks to much and falls asleep it sounds like a freight train in your bed. Kissing him softly on the head you get out of the bed and decide to go eat a snack.

Now in the kitchen you make a plate of peanut butter, bananas, and crackers. You make your way to the living room and turn on Shrek 2 (The best Shrek movie btw). While watching the movie you hear someone walking down the hallway and it is Jake. Jake asked to spend the night because he was a little to drunk and didn't want to drive. He walks in with no shirt on and some sweatpants. "Do you know how to put clothes on?" you ask while turning back to the movie. "I usually sleep naked so be glad I put some pants on.", Jake says while giving you a cocky smirk and sitting down on the couch.

Ya’ll continue to watch the movie and laughed together. "Are you hungry? I can make you a snack or warm up some of the left over BBQ?" Jake smiles at you asking this. He always thought you were so sweet and hates that he didn't ask you out before Bradley did. "Sure, I'll take some of the snack you were eating." he gives you the biggest smile. You get up from the couch and he sees that your sleep shorts have rode up a bit, and he bites his bottom lip. You come back a few minutes later with a plate for him and hand it to him. Sitting down you grab a blanket and draped it over yourself before turning on another movie.

"You're really into this Shrek stuff aren't you?" Jake says while placing a cracker in his mouth. "They are the best movies in Cinematic history!" you both let out a laugh. The other movie ends and you decide it is time to go back to bed. Getting up Jake grabs you by the arm and pulls you in for a kiss. You pull back quickly and place your hand over your mouth. A few moments of silents pass and you finally say, "Don't ever do that again. Why would you think that is okay?" Jake just stares at you. "I am with Bradley and I am extremally happy with him. I'm sorry if I gave you an impression that this was going to be an okay thing to do. I don't want this to ruin ya’ll friendship and my relationship with him. Don't bring this up again. I think its best if we go to bed." After saying this you walk out of the room and go back to the bedroom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks have passed and you kept getting text from Jake telling him how sorry he was. You didn't respond to any of them because honestly you didn't know what to say. Bradley had went out to the Hard Deck tonight and you had decided to stay home.

While in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes from the dinner you heard the front door open and slam shut. Looking down at your watch you see its around 11pm and Bradley usually stays till last call. "Roo? Is that you?". Bradley storms around the corner and he looks pissed. "What the fuck y/n? You kiss my best friend and you don't even have the guts to tell me?" You are taken back but what he says. "Bradley I didn't kiss him, he kissed me and I cut that shit off immediately. I told him that it wasn't okay." you feel tears begin to form as you yell back at him. "I just cant fucking believe this! I thought we were good y/n, now I don't know what to think. I'm having a good time with my friends and then Jakes drunk ass decides to tell everyone that ya'll kissed the other night. Do you know how fucking embarrassing that is for me?" Bradley voice is getting louder and louder with every sentence. "I-I'm sorry. I should have told you as soon as it happened. It meant nothing to me and I told him that. I told him I was happy with you and that he needed to loose whatever thought he had of me." tears start to run down your face. Bradley just scoffs and goes to the bedroom and slams the door.

Standing in the kitchen for what fells like hours you finally decide to go to the couch. You grab a blanket and lay down. Turning on the tv you lay there and stare at the screen not really able to focus on anything. Letting out soft sobs while hating yourself for the issues that have been caused. You look at your phone and notice it is now 3am and Bradley has not came out of the room. You have decided that the couch is your bed for the night and you slowly start to drift asleep.

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You are woken up from a light tap on your shoulder. Looking up you see Bradley standing in front of you. "Come on baby lets go to bed.", Bradley says while putting his hand out. You sit up and grab his hand while he leads you to the bedroom. Laying down in the bed Bradley crawls in next you and grabs you pulling you to his chest. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I should have talked to you like an adult y/n." "You don't have to apologize Roo. I should have told you when it happened, I'm sorry for any issues I have caused." Bradley played with your hair before grabbing your chin and nudging you to come closer. He places a soft kiss on your lips and gently tells you, "I love you baby and I don't want Jake being a fucking dumbass to ruin this." "I love you too Bradley."

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

okay okay so in shrek forever after shrek has like one day to revert the magic and return the world to its original state or it become permanent for good (the only way to revert the magic is with true love kiss btw). what if magnus only realize his previous unmagicified life with alec like 5 minutes before it’s a new day. what then

Part I

Part III

Three months. It’s been three months since Magnus has been living with a huge ass whole inside his chest. Like he went for a surgery where the doctors cut him open but never stitched him back again.

Only the insane part about all of this is that Magnus doesn’t even remember the surgery he went in for.

He’s so fucking sure something is going on, that’s he’s losing it but there’s no one he can go to—no one he can confide in with this problem because how do you solve an issue that doesn’t even exist outside his mind.

But even if Magnus doesn’t understand most things, doesn’t have enough clues, one thing he is absolutely sure about. That this, all of this, connect to one man.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

Ever since that Magnus met the man, he’s been feeling a hundred different kinds of way.

And he knows he has a tendency to exaggerate, has time and again blew things out of proportion for an infatuation or attraction but this isn’t it. While he knows he’s attracted to Alec and would love to climb him, he knows whatever this is, isn’t his libido making him feel.

This is something far deeper, far more significant.

“Magnus?” A voice, the voice brings him back from his thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“Where did you go?” Alec asks. “We were discussing about the issue with the demon towers in Alicante.”

“Yes, of course. My apologies, Alexander,” he exhales.

“That’s okay.” Alec takes another sip of his drinks and winces, like he does every time.

I should have made him that other drink.

He’s been having random thoughts like this all the time.

That Alec would prefer a cocktail over this beer he keeps on asking for.

That he would like chocolate bars.

Or that he would like his coffee better if he’d put two cubes of sugar instead of one.

He doesn’t know why but he keeps on thinking he knows more about Alec than he does and what an insane fucking thought is that?

He finally goes to Catarina with this. It surprises him when Catarina doesn’t dismiss him.

“Weirder things have happened in our world, Magnus. If you think something is wrong, we should atleast check it.”

He pulls Cat in a hug, relieved that she believes him. Because of Cat doesn’t believe Magnus, what choices does he have left with?

They go over all the possible theories but come up with nothing.

And then everything goes to shit one fine night as the lot of shadowhunter stands in Magnus’s loft for a demon summoning.

Magnus remembers a demon summoning between the very same loft, one that hadn’t ended well. He’d hoped that this one would be different.

He’s proved wrong not ten minutes later when a memory of the person you loved the most resurfaces for everyone to see.

A memory of Clary smiling appears from Jace’s mind.

A memory of Simon and Alec laughing together from Isabelle.

Magnus sees a small smile appear on Alec’s face at the memory.

It’s Alec’s turn and there’s a memory of Isabelle and Jace and Max.

He expects Alec to smile at the memory but a sad smile appears on his face and Magnus wonders for a second before his heart breaks. He imagines how suffocating and heartbreaking it must be to be married and not in love.

Alec and Lydia do not love each other is a fact that Magnus picked up on very quickly. It’s a marriage of convenience.

He thinks of Alec’s rare smiles that he’s only ever witnessed occasionally. Alec is smart and beautiful and has a dry sense of humour that never fails to make him laugh.

He’s fighting for a better world for shadowhunters and downworlders. He fights every single minute of his life with the world and Magnus wishes that the man had one place, in his home, with his partner where he didn’t have to fight.

Alec sniffles at the memory and looks away but there’s a second when both their eyes match. Magnus looks away for he can’t see Alec in pain and it’s insane because he barely knows the man.

They’ve formed an easy friendship now but that’s what it is—a friendship. Because Alec is married, even if it’s in name, there are lines that Magnus would never cross. And Alec doesn’t seem the type to either.

Then Simon and Clary’s turn comes and for both of them, it’s a memory of the other one. They exchange a beautiful smile at that.

And then in an instant, everything turns to hell when it’s his turn because this time, it’s a memory of Alec.

It’s from one of those rare days when Alec laughed in a way that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. The memory focuses on Alec’s faces and anyone with a single functioning braincell could feel Magnus’s feelings.

“What the fuck?” Jace yells, followed by everyone else.

Alec breaks the circle as he stands up, his eyes widen, face filled with horror.

“Magnus—what?”

He looks embarrassed and it quickly changes to anger. “How could you—what?” Alec tries but nothing else comes up.

“Alexander, listen,” Magnus swallows, knowing that if Alec leaves, he’s never going to be able to fix this. Even though he doesn’t know what this is—he needs Alec to stay. “I know this must all be confusing. It’s for me as well but I think that there’s more to what we’re seeing. There’s something between us and I—-“

Alec raises a hand.

There’s a pin drop of silence before Alec stares at him, fire in his eyes as he says, “Don’t ever come near me again.”

Isabelle and Jace’s eyes sadden suddenly, as if they know, and he’s sure they know why Alec is so shocked about this. Isabelle puts a comforting hand on his shoulder before they all leave.

Clary tries to stay but Magnus asks her to leave.

He needs time.

He falls to the floor, clutching his head in his hand as he tries to figure out what’s wrong. He yells out of despair, of feeling like he’s living with half his organs, half his mind, half his memories and all the pain let’s him to lose control and Magnus unleashes his magic onto the world. He needs to get Alec out of his brain so he wracks inside his brain and takes out all the memories of Alec, from every pit and crevice inside his brain and throws them outside.

A few second in, Magnus is surrounded by blue magic around him, memories and memories of Alec around him. Magnus’s eyes widen as he goes through them.

There are hundreds of memories and he knows for a fact that while these are his memories, he doesn’t remember living them.

There’s his first meeting with Alec. First—first meeting.

Alec and Magnus playing polo.

Alec grinning as he cooks French roast for them.

Dancing.

Alec almost dying. Multiple times.

Magnus in Edom. Alec in Edom.

Smiles and happiness and love—so much love.

The one that completely breaks Magnus’s heart is the one where they’re getting married.

And their wedding night.

Alec becoming Inquisitor and kissing the daylights out of him when he tells him.

Then the memories turn more somber. Darker. Sadder.

“I want to go home.” “This is home, Magnus.”

He doesn’t even have to wait, he knows the words already on his lips.

“I wish I had never married you, Alexander.”

And Magnus remembers.

He remembers why it’s been feeling like he’s living without his heart—because he was. His heart was living outside his body, in a world that’s created by Magnus’s anger and despair.

One moment of weakness and Magnus’s entire life changed.

By his own doing.

“Alexander,” Magnus falls to the ground and cries for his husband. “What did I do?“

After a few hours of lying on the floor mourning his life, Magnus goes to Cat.

He tells her everything and cries in her arms. “Cat, Alec—Alec is my husband. I remember. I remember him. Please I need to—I need to fix this. I need him back,” he cries.

It’s an ancient curse is what their research tells them. Now that he remembers, it’s easier to find the source.

“I need to talk to Alec…I—“

A huge gasp leaves Catarina’s mouth and he turns.

“Catarina what? What now?”

“It’s 11:55pm.”

“And?”

“Fuck!” Cat exclaims.

“Catarina, what?”

“I’m sorry, Magnus. But tomorrow morning, you won’t remember him.”

“What?” He says in horror.

“The memories will be lost forever.”

Alec will be lost forever.

[magicalmikuri]

Some of my favorite Lostwave Songs - Solved and Unsolved (Part 2)

THAT'S RIGHT BABY IT'S BACK!!! For those who missed part 1, you can check out my lostwave gush-fest here.

Solved -

Found A Place by The Jazz Hipsters - Spooky vibes but very cool. Unfortunately this band hasn't seem to release anything else.

Boogie Home by Billy Workman - I love me some glam rock.

Summer's End by Prince of the Blood - The entire album, Portsmouth, is honestly so good, especially the titular song.

Creepy Crawlies by Bing Hitler with the Chain Gang - Not the best band name, but was a stage name of a Scottish comedian named Craig Ferguson. Picturing Shrek singing while listening to this is highly recommend.

Maniac Laughing by Johnny Cohen - HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA-

Oceans of Time by Al Bowlly - I love me some crunchy old music.

Mental by Tripp7 - This song slaps, it's also one of the few available on Spoofy so go check it out on there!

Weekend by Charlatan - Lovin' that sax. I also recommend En Walki Talki Man.

Take Off by Kigoy - This song sounds like it crawled out of an abandoned subway station and I mean that in the best way possible I love this song. Unfortunately it seems Kigoy only really did two songs, this and this one here that's worth checking out.

At the Lightworks by Ellie Greenwich - Yes, the Ellie Greenwich! I assume this song was solved in like five seconds. Delightfully 60s.

Paragon by NuKeMOuT - This song goes hard, feel free to screenshot.

Magic Summer by Captains - Lovin' that sax (again.) Also I love this lady's voice.

Unsolved -

"Johnny" - I can't see a sail boat without thinking of this song

"Treadmill of Time" - Possibly identified as a song by a band called Memorybank. Everyone says it has Depeche Mode vibes (I think originally it was passed of as an outtake of there's though it obviously isn't) but it gives me more TMBG vibes.

"Friends" - May sound like it's from a kid's show but it's VERY NOT. It's actually from, like, the opposite of that.

"Let's Get Up" - Another song from a porn film. Steals a lot of its lyrics from Dancing on the Ceiling by Lionel Ritchie but is actually better.

"I Was A Fool In Love" - One that's weirdly grown on me over the past few weeks???

"Trip To Rio" - The intro is honestly one of the catchiest things I've ever heard, period. I hope we find the full version soon.

"Poor Christmas" - The lostwave Christmas song, and I love it for that. I'm not at all religious I'm just weird and dig Christmas music.

"CIA" - Sounds like it's from a movie, it's got that cinematic vibe to it.

"Leylo Lo La" - Possibly a cover of a cover...?

"Ai wa Subete" - I love me some Japanese lostwave.

Might do a part 3 or a other songs by lostwave artists and where to support them (obviously the latter can only really apply to people with solved songs).

[fatalfangirl]

Hi everyone! It's now past midnight so happy Thursday 😅 I'm still suffering a bit from jet lag after being in Japan last week, but getting better adjusting.

No writing happened in Japan, but I have poked at my doc for ch 2 of More Than Friends and do feel pretty confident I can wrap it up this weekend for posting. I've said this before, but I'm the type of writer who tends to really fiddle with scenes and make a number of tweaks between the first and final draft. So here's an example of that from his latest MTF chapter. Gets kind of long, so I'll put it under the cut.

But first! Thank you for the tags today @whatevertheweather, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @shrek-gogurt, @johnwgrey, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @hushed-chorus, @artsyunderstudy, @whogaveyoupermission, @facewithoutheart, and @martsonmars. And to everyone who tagged me on Sunday and last week!

It's late so at this point please consider yourselves tagged for Sunday and throwing in some hellos to @creepyspice, @cutestkilla, @bookish-bogwitch, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, and @captain-aralias.

Okay! Here we have an example of first draft to current state. A few weeks ago I shared this snippet from Baz's POV:

“Baz? You home?” He turns the living room light on and swings around into the kitchen. “You are.”

“I am.” His shirt is on inside out and his bottom lip looks swollen.

“What are you doing in the dark?”

“Regretting not buying ice cream.”

His face splits into a grin as he lifts the plastic bag in his hand. “Regret no more.” 

My entire body sags. “Did you really?”

“Chocolate chip for my basic Grimm bitch.” 

I snatch the bag and look inside to confirm it’s not all a heat stroke fever dream. 

I wrote this originally thinking chapter 1 was going to be much longer and include Baz's POV instead of Simon only. And I'm happy I split Baz off from the Simon POV because if forced me to spend more time with him and really figure out his relationship with Simon/feelings towards him. As a result of sitting with Baz more, I felt like the original snippet above was way too chipper/open. In this scene, Simon (who Baz is obviously in love with because when is he not?) just got home after fucking some rando and Baz knows it. No amount of sweet little actions from Simon is going to remove that knowledge. So the scene evolved to:

“Baz? You home?” Simon calls out, voice loud in the stillness. He turns on the living room light and swings around into the kitchen. “You are.”

“I am.” His shirt is on inside out and his bottom lip looks swollen. There’s a hickey on his neck. If I hadn’t stopped Michael, I would have had one in the same spot. We would have matched.

“What are you doing in the dark?”

“Regretting not buying ice cream.”

His face splits into a grin as he lifts the plastic bag in his hand. “Regret no more.” 

I stare at him, processing, then snatch the bag and look inside to confirm it’s not all a heat-stroke fever dream. It isn’t. I can feel the cold radiating from the carton. 

He got me my favorite.

“Chocolate chip for my basic Grimm bitch,” he says in a little sing-song tune, still smiling like he knows he’s a good boy. 

But then my gaze catches on his lip, his neck, and I remind myself he’s been bad.

[memethebum]

Finally got a new one-shot up!!!

This one was kinda hard to write so I hope y’all enjoy hehe

.

.

.

I lied it’s a Shrek AU that I wrote for April Fools Day : P

Once upon a time in a world that’s like pretty different but not totally different from ours, there lived a man named Soul Evans. His home was within the woods outside a village, causing him to become the target of many attempted attacks due to being a weapon.

However, Soul never let that get to him. In fact, he thought being able to thwart all of the villagers’ plans to attack him was a fun way of ignoring the crippling weight of never being good enough for anyone.

His life of never giving a shit about anything was then trampled upon once he woke up one day and noticed a blue-haired donkey outside his cottage.

“Who the fuck are you?” the weapon questioned once opening the door, causing the donkey to let out a smug neigh.

“I’M THE ONLY AND ONLY BLACK*STAR AND I-“ the animal attempted to reply before Soul slammed the door shut.

However, he finally caved in and let Black*Star stay with him after a long exchange of curses and death threats that the author may have been too lazy to write.

That decision seemed to backfire on him, as the ass followed him around the woods the next day until Soul wondered how tasty donkey meat would be.

Soul then returned home at the end of the day to find a group of people scattered around his property.

Just what I needed, more freaks he thought while watching a bald headed man shine his spectacles and then shifting his attention towards two women sitting upon the grass and brushing each other’s hair.

“Who the hell are you people!” Soul shouted to the group, who only gave him a look of indifference.

“Tsu! There you are!” Black*Star exclaimed beside the weapon, causing him to meet the eyes of a raven/haired donkey.

“I’m sorry for leaving you Black*Star, there was a group of humans coming after our host here, so I decided to break their knee caps but got a little carried away. Oh, I also made us some stew since I thought you’d be tired sir,” Tsubaki exclaimed before balancing a plate between her hooves and handing it to Soul.

“Ahhhh…you can stay BUT THE REST OF YOU NEED TO LEAVE!” Soul added before hearing the two twin children in the corner of his yard sneer.

“Sorry, but you’ll have to take that up with Queen Medusa. She’s the one that exiled us here,” Kim explained while running a brush through Jackie’s long tresses.

——————————————————————

“Geez Soul, you haven’t said a word since we’ve been on the road,” Black*Star commented as they neared the castle.

“I’m not trynna’ hear an ass talk about it’s god complex,” Soul explained.

“At least I’m honest with my feelings, unlike some grumpy red-eyed weapon,” the animal mumbled before kicking an onion, an action that may or may not allude to a refrence from one of the source materials for this fic.

They then walked in silence before entering the arena beside the castle.

“Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make,” Queen Medusa sang from her seat at the topmost portion of the arena before noticing Soul and Black*Star passing security and ordering her guards to go after them.

Her eyes then fixated upon Soul after he was able to defeat all her knights via a fighting montage that the author was yet again too lazy to write.

“Well, it seems as if the weapon is our final contender,” Medusa announced, causing the crowd to cheer.

“Contender for what?” Soul questioned before noticing the wide smile that had been plastered onto the queen’s face.

“Bring us Princess Maka Albarn from her tower. Then and only then will I move all those people off your land,” she explained, causing the weapon to let out a grunt.

“How do I know you’re not just fuckin’ with me,” Soul barked at the princess .

“Isn’t everyone just using each other these days? Get with the program buddy,” a voice called from beside the queen, probing Soul into moving his eyes towards a giggling blob which was protruding from a lanky pink-haired person.

——————————————————————-

This’d better be worth it Soul groaned in agitation as he kept his eyes on the shaking planks of the bridge he was walking across.

“Umm Soul, don’t ya’ think you’re walking a little too fast,” Black*Star called from behind him, causing Soul to turn back and watch how the animal’s feet seemed to be shaking between each step.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared,” Soul taunted before Black*Star whined at the statement.

“Of course not dude, why would I be scared-“ he called before the weapon jumped and caused the whole bridge to wobble even more.

“WHAT THE HELL SOUL! THATS NOT FUNNY MAN, YOU SEE HOW MUCH THIS THING IS SHAKING,” the ass shrieked, eliciting a chuckle out of Soul.

“Alright, alright fine. But only because I’m a nice person and this thing is really-“ Soul started before going weak in the knees himself once a three- headed monster landed directly in front of him.

“And who might you two be?” the middle head spoke while moving its eyes from Soul to Black*Star, causing the ass to quickly come trotting up near the weapon.

“Wait, if you can talk, then that must mean you’ve been-“

“Cursed? Yea why, you gotta problem with that?” the head on the right spoke before raising one of its eyebrows at Black*Star, causing him to clear his throat.

“Hah, if a god like me can get cursed, what business do I have judging people about it,” the ass answered before leaning closer towards Soul.

“You go get the princess while I handle things here,” he then whispered, causing Soul to gape at his level of confidence.

“I’ve gotta say, you’ve all kept your…looks even through the curse. I mean, look at how shiny your scales are and how uh-uh…,” Black*Star said as Soul began to maneuver his way around the creature.

“Symmetrical we are?” Kid added, causing the ass to vigorously nod his head.

“Ahh ye-yea that too,” Black*Star replied.

“Ohho, thank you. I do try to keep us prim and proper even while guarding the princess,” Kid replied as Soul went dashing towards the entrance of the abandoned castle.

“Shit, Kiddo that one is trying to get to Maka,” Liz shouted just as the weapon slammed the giant doorway shut.

“Hmm, oh you and Patty take care of it. I’m trying to have a decent conversation with the first person-ass-animal whatever we’ve seen in years,” Soul heard the middle head exclaim and then felt a wave of fire assault him from behind.

He conviently ducked into a pile of bones on his right and decided to strap on the armor left behind from the corpse before taking a chance at running through the hall again.

——————————————————————

Maka shut her book as she heard someone open the doors under her tower. She then quickly reached for the knife she kept on her bedside table like a fucking sociopath.

Her next idea was to toss the book onto the floor and then pretend as if she were asleep.

The princess then heard the door open and clutched her knife tightly before jumping onto the stranger once they neared her bed.

“Ah, woah woah woah CALM DOWN,” Soul yelled as she pointed the knife at him.

“Who are you and how did you get past Kid, Liz, and Patty!” Maka shouted, only to conveniently be silenced by another wave of fire below them.

“Sorry about this,” the stranger replied before swinging Maka across his shoulder and then bolting out her room and across the hallway.

“PUT ME DOWN!” the princess shouted as they finally reached the exit, where another wave of fire came rushing after them.

“I’m so sorry Maka, we got distracted and-“

“JUST KILL THIS GUY!” Maka shouted over Liz, earning a guffaw from the stranger as he picked up a blue donkey and went running across the castle’s bridge.

She let out a groan in indignation at how he narrowly missed the attacks Kid, Liz, and Patty were throwing at him, only for her heart to sink even furthur once seeing that her friends had somehow been chained to the castle.

The princess then kicked Soul in a more furious manner, causing her to look like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum until the stranger finally let her go after walking a good amount of distance away from the castle.

“YOU STUPID NO GOOD ASSHOLE,” Maka shrieked before Soul put up his hands to calm her down.

“IF YOU THINKS THIS MEANS IM GOING TO MARRY YOU THEN-“

“Marriage!??? Oh no, trust me princess that definitely isn’t somethin’ I was planning on doing,” he countered while the author did a mental eyeroll.

“Oh- so you’re weren’t planning on making me your bride?” Maka asked.

“No,” Soul said.

“You weren’t going to kiss me to life if I was a corpse?” Maka asked.

“No?” Soul said.

“Didn’t start lusting after me after glancing my way for like 30 seconds?” Maka asked.

“No,” Soul said.

“You’re not some middle aged man trying to marry someone that’s still young and fair?” Maka asked.

“What the fuck, no no no,” Soul finally said with a huff.

“All I’m trynna’ do is get you back to Queen Medusa’s kingdom,” he explained, causing the princess to hum in understanding.

“I see, well I suppose that isn’t so bad then. I’ve no doubt Kid, Liz, and Patty can easily fix the predicament they’re in too, so I’ll overlook that. May I at least get to see your face since you’ve successfully dragged me out my castle?” Maka questioned before pointing at the helmet around Soul’s head.

“Oh yea,” he answered before transforming his hand and carefully cutting through the metal.

It then fell off as Maka let out a gasp.

“He’s hot right?” Black*Star questioned as a lame attempt at comedic relief.

“He’s a…weapon!” Maka exclaimed, eliciting Soul to let out a snort.

“Sure am. Now let’s get going already,” he gruffly announced while Maka only stared after him in awe.

——————————————————————

They’d been walking for a long and boring amount of time before suddenly being surrounded by a group of men.

“What is that thing?” Black*Star questioned while pointing at a strange looking white scrawny little duck man standing right in front of them.

“FOOL! You are in the presence of the great Excalibur!” Excalibur exclaimed as the men around them laughed.

“Oh hi there cutie-“

“Keep your filthy hands off of me!” Maka shrieked over Hiro before sucker punching him to the floor, causing Soul to gape at her in bewilderment.

The weapon then evaded some other men that were attempting to attack him before feeling an arrow come flying towards his calf.

Fortunately, Maka and Black*Star were able to take down all of the remaining men by themselves, leaving only Excalibur still standing.

“Fools! To do such a thing to my henchmen is beyond rude, since they won’t be able to hear my legend-“ he tried to explain before Maka kicked him to the side.

“Get out of our way!” she exclaimed while letting out a final huff in indignation.

The princess then grabbed Soul’s arm and began to walk forward before hearing him let out a small wince.

“Oh no, I forgot you’re hurt,” she said while grounding them to a halt and staring at the arrow that’d conveniently lodged itself into the armor surrounding the weapon’s calf.

“Don’t worry, it’s really just a scratch,” Soul countered while Maka let out a hum.

“Still, we should get it treated. Black*Star, go look for some herbs we can treat the wound with,” Maka replied, causing the ass to salute her before trotting away.

“Ok, let’s dislodge it first,” the princess said while reaching for the arrow.

“Ah, fuck woman you’re pulling too hard!” Soul yelped, probing Maka to let out a huff.

“What, you can’t take it?” she replied before the weapon lost his balance and fell down with her sprawled on top of him in a totally not suggestive manner.

“I found some Aloe Vera and I heard that-ohhhh c’mon guys, you couldn’t have moved a few feet and got it on in the bushes,” Black*Star called as the pair scrambled off each other.

“Let’s…keep going,” Maka announced while Soul nodded his head in agreement.

“Hah, you two aren’t fooling anyone with how red your faces-“ the ass taunted before Maka kicked him.

They were able to find a spot to rest that night, allowing the princess to go scrambling behind a boulder after saying goodnight.

“Ya’ think….she likes me?” Soul asked Black*Star as they gazed at the stars.

“Why wouldn’t she like you dude?” the animal questioned, causing Soul to let out a sigh.

“She’s a princess and I’m a weapon, it’s as simple as that,”.

——————————————————————

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, the two did begin to grow closer and fall in love. The days passed before they were a day away from Queen Medusa’s castle, probing Maka into growing more anxious about her condition.

Her blades wouldn’t dissipate at all during that night, which forced her heart to skip a beat once hearing someone open the door to the small cottage she was attempting to sleep in.

The princess’ immediate reaction was to duck behind a large barrel, although it was too late since she heard Black*Star begin to screech at the way the moonlight reflected against her blades.

���Black*Star…Black*Star shhh,” Maka quickly coaxed, causing him to gape at her.

“Oh wow, Maka I had no idea you were a-,”

“I know, and I wanted to keep it that way too,” she finished as Black*Star raised an anthrophormic eyebrow at her.

“Why would you wanna do that?” the ass asked before Maka released a bitter laugh.

“You see how weapons are treated in the world. Always shunned for something that isn’t their fault. And besides, who would want to be associated with a freak-show scythe. Especially one so careless and unattractive,” she lamented.

——————————————————————

“Hey-um Maka, I’m not really sure what your favorite flower is, but I grow…some-uh sunflowers outside my cottage and they’re sorta’ pretty so I thought-“

“And besides, who would want to be associated with a freak-show scythe. Especially one so careless and unattractive,” Soul heard Maka exclaim over his rehearsal, causing his grip on the flower to loosen as he gaped at the cottage door for what felt like an enternity.

Right… what was I thinking he sighed before walking away and beginning to sulk in a corner of the makeshift camp he and Black*Star had created.

“Soul…Soul what’s wrong?” Maka called to him just as the sun began to rise from it’s slumber.

The weapon looked back to see her walking towards him from the cottage, probing him into letting out a muffled snort.

“Nothin’. At least, nothing you should have to worry about princess,” he offered before watching her pupils begin to dilate at his response.

“If it was something I’ve done then please-“

“Ah, Princess Maka,” Medusa called before the pair heard a group of horses gallop their way.

“I see that you’ve brought her back safely, weapon. I’ll send my guards out to clear those people from your land immediately. Now come along dear princess, I’m sure your journey has been quite distasteful,” Medusa hissed while flashing them both a wicked stare.

“Right…of course. Goodbye Black*Star, goodbye Soul,” Maka replied as she levelled a brief glance at Black*Star and then gave Soul a pathetic pining stare.

She then climbed onto Crona’s steed and the group set into motion towards the castle.

——————————————————————

“Now Princess Maka, I know we’ve talked about you being exhausted but…I have to ask if you’d be ready,” Medusa hummed.

“Ready for what?” Maka questioned while mulling over the food before her.

“Marriage my dear. You see, we’ve made preparations for the royal matrimony to happen tonight…if you’re up to the task,” the queen added with a devious glint in her eyes.

“Oh…,” Maka responded before being whisked away into a changing room.

Marraige…that’s a silly thing to think about when Soul is angry at me she internally lamented, causing her single fucking braincell to become fixated on that thought instead of the way she was being put into a wedding dress and then led down an altar.

The princess’ focus then rushed back into reality during the last minute like the lovesick dumbass she was, allowing her to notice the pink-haired person from earlier standing before her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have gathered here for the marriage of Princess Maka Albarn and…Ragnarok of Gorgon Kingdom,” the officiant announced, forcing Maka’s mind to stop reeling about how to get out the situation and notice the black blob that had begun to protrude out of Crona’s shoulder instead.

“Time to give Daddy a kiss,” Ragnarok giggled as Maka tried to whack him with the flower bouquet she was holding, only to realize that her hands and mouth had been glued in place.

I knew I should’ve just stayed a shut-in in that old fucking castle she thought to herself while Medusa grinned at her.

—————————————————————-

“Are you ok in there?” Tsubaki called to Soul from outside his cottage, causing him to grunt in response.

“Just peachy,” he said while realizing just how bad he’d had it for Maka.

Still have it might be a better way of wording it be thought while pouring himself a drink and trying to hold back his tears.

“SOUL, SOUL OPEN UP YOU ASS!” Black*Star called from outside before Soul let out a snort.

“Hate to tell ya’ this ‘Star, but you’re the ass here,” Soul called out.

“Maka is a weapon too,” the ass answered back before Soul spat out his drink.

“What!?” he questioned.

“All that stuff she was saying was about herself dumbass, not you,” Black*Star called as Soul swung his front door open.

“She…actually liked me?” the weapon questioned before slapping one of his palms to his head.

“Yea and she probably still does, even if you might’ve broken her heart a bit by letting her go ahead with getting hitched to some other dude,” the ass exclaimed while Tsubaki shook her head in agreement.

“Ahhhhh shit, I-I have to get to her but there’s no way I’ll make it-“

“That’s what we’re here for Romeo,” Liz called from behind them, causing Soul to immediately go running towards the cursed trio before they launched themselves up into the sky.

“If someone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold thy-,” Soul heard the officiant announce before jumping off the dragon and running straight towards the castle doors.

“ME, I OBJECT,” he shouted, causing everyone to look at him in awe.

“S-Soul?” Maka stuttered as he came running towards her.

“Maka…Maka I’m so so sorry about earlier. I jumped to conclusions and didn’t give you a chance to explain, and I’m-I’m sorry. The truth is…I love you,” he announced, eliciting the crowd to release a cacophony of oohs and ahhs at the drama unfolding in front of them.

“Oh, how precious. The weapon has fallen in love with a princess,” Medusa laughed before Maka made her way near the stain-glass window above the altar and transformed her hands into two large scythes as the sun began to set.

“I hope you like what you see,” the princess giggled.

Soul gaped at her like the simp he was while Medusa narrowed her eyes and shrugged.

“Well if you wanted to reveal yourself publicly, I suppose I can use some brute force. Guards, seize them,” the witch exclaimed as a group of guards came running towards Maka and Soul.

“You two are going to make such nice test subjects,” she cackled as the stained glass window of the building shattered and Patty’s neck tilted downwards and swallowed Medusa whole.

“Ew, Patty I can’t believe you did that!” Liz screeched before they were engulfed in a cloud of smoke and then emerged as human being once more.

The sisters celebrated their newfound mobility while Kid’s face went red after a human Black*Star landed on his lap.

“Guess you really weren’t an ass after all,” Soul snorted to Black*Star, only to make his way towards Maka a moment later and run a hand through her blades, which turned back into her slender arms through his soothing touch.

“I hated myself because of these blades Soul, but I love you for being you, so I suppose they deserve a chance as well,” she exclaimed while clasping their hands together.

“Hm, guess you could say I broke your curse in a way then, since it isn’t all bad anymore,” Soul replied before resting his forehead against hers.

“A kiss from my knight in shining armor would be nice though,” the princess added as she blushed at the cheesy comeback, only to melt into Soul’s touch as he gently slid his hand behind her neck and slowly moved his lips forward.

The pair then went on to live a pretty happy life in Soul’s cottage while being visited by their ex-anthropomorphic friends and those who had been freed from Queen Medusa’s tyranny before finally tying the knot and living out their rest of their lives a a nasty lovey dovey couple.

The end.

[jezabatlovesbats]

I don’t know if I posted about them already, like I do with most things. But I had a bunch of old ideas for Unikitty episodes that younger me was going to send to the creators of the show. I put them in this big yellow envelope, but you know they're not going to take ideas from a stranger, let alone a fan, so I never did.

I actually once sent a letter to Telltale Games before it shut down, meaning this isn't the first time I've done something like that. I can show you what other parts of 2018 me were like if you want, like I did in the video I made for Big Bright World’s anniversary.

I also said that I was planning to write an anthology novel with the chapters being "episodes" that take place between the events of the Big Bright World books, and I'm going to redo SOME of these ideas. I can't and couldn't make them canon, and I don’t know why I wanted to in the first place, but at least I have fanfiction! Also, Sarah was Estelle's name in the twins' earliest versions.

I tossed the documents of the ideas out, so all that's left in the folder are profiles for Imogen and Pepper and crappy drawings of them. I had to scavenge old notes from my notes app to find the ideas themselves.

(Magic mirror from Shrek voice) And heeeeeere they are!

Sing a Song of Sadness The Unikingdom's having a karaoke night, and Master Frown drops by to ruin it for people, but Unikitty sees it as an opportunity to get him to sing with the gang. He resists at first, but then Unikitty discovers something about him she's never known before. That something is, “Even though I was never any good, I had fun doing karaoke with my friends, but something, something, wah wah wah, they left me.”

Brock's Biggest Shock This is an idea I had for an ep that's centered around Brock because I think the show deserved one where he's the focus alone. Most of the time, he's with Master Frown. Anyway, Brock finds out one day that his channel is getting boring to his viewers, so he decides to shake things up by doing something new. 

Night Fright In this one, Unikitty's scrambling to calm Puppycorn down when he develops a fear of the dark. I think he seems like the type of kid who'd be like that, and Unikitty, being the supportive big sister that she is, would definitely want to help him.

Gloom Service Richard gets fed up by the way he's treated by the others, so one day, he quits his job. Even though he tells them not to, the gang follows him to his new one, discovering that he's now working at this fancy hotel. They want him to come back, but they first have to look back and see why he wanted this.

Hawkspeare This one's pretty simple. It's where Hawkodile learns to express himself through poetry in his efforts to confess his feelings to Dr. Fox. He turns out to be pretty artsy thanks to said poetry, and the doc doesn't know what happened to him. 

Happy-Are-We Academy Dr. Fox notices that the people around her aren't very bright and starts thinking she can fix that by making them a tad bit smarter. To do that, she opens a school, subjecting her friends and the citizens as students. The school's called Unikingdom University.

Bicker No Quicker A simple argument between Unikitty and Puppycorn escalates into a fight between a lot of other people besides the siblings; after them comes the rest of the gang. As the quarrel spreads across the entire kingdom, Unikitty is clueless on how to resolve the conflict.

Smooth Lil' Doggy This one is inspired by Rock Friend and is supposed to be some kind of sequel to it. In it, Unikitty is thrilled to hear that Puppycorn has finally made some real friends, but she wonders what he could be doing when she finds out they're all girls. Pepper, Maya and Annie would have debuted in this idea, and I thought it up before I created Ringo.

It Must Be Magic Presenting my idea for Imogen's debut episode, which tells the story of how she met Brock and Master Frown. After getting kicked out from her own home, she grows interested in those villainous but wacky roommates, and she tries to charm her way into their hearts. Frown, of course, is stubborn about not wanting to be her friend.

Drama Pains Unikitty decides she wants to put on a play for Richard, but the problem is that she and the gang don't know too much about theater, so it's total backstage chaos. She's trying her hardest to get things all set up and get the cast in order for the show.

Eclipse Ripped An eclipse is about to cast over the Unikingdom, and Dr. Fox, being the astronomy nut she is, want to see it more badly than anyone else. She already has a full to-do list for the day, though, so she worries she won't be able to.

Uninet An episode idea where you get to watch videos uploaded to the internet by the people of the Unikingdom (and also Frowntown). Some of them are dramatic, some of them are funny, others are all cute and happy.

I had to fish these next ideas out by memory because they weren't anywhere in my notes. I typed them out on a document, but like I said earlier, I threw the documents away.

Doggy See, Doggy Do Puppycorn isn't a very popular kid in the Unikingdom despite being a prince, and when he notices how popular Hawkodile is, he makes it his mission to be more like him, even dressing up like him.

The Tooth About It Unikitty and Puppycorn are just happily eating pizza one day, but then Puppycorn feels a pain in his mouth, and once Unikitty sees what's going on in there, it's decided that he has to go to the dentist. However, Puppycorn's one of those kids who are terrified of going. This idea, of course, came before Tooth Trouble was announced.

It's a Loud Life It's a quiet night and Richard wants to watch his favorite show, The Real Housewives of Unikingdom, in peace, but Unikitty's holding a super loud party tonight (I think it was a sleepover), and Puppycorn's lady friends from that other idea come over for it. For the next couple of hours, Richard tries to quiet them down. I'm pretty sure It's a Loud Life was what I called this one, and I thought it up before Late Night Talky Time.

The Happiest Cat In The West Unikitty and her friends tell a story set in a version of their kingdom with a Western twist. Sheriff Unikitty and her friends embark on an adventure to protect the town of Rainbow Gulch from their sworn enemies. I vaguely remember this one, but I do recall that it was an idea for a 30-minute two-part special, like Unfairgrounds and The Birthday to End All Birthdays.

I still believe that what the show was missing was an Easter special. I wanted to see what the Easter Bunny looked like in this world.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Happily N'Ever After 2: Snow White—Another Bite @ the Apple (2009)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

I never thought I’d see a movie that would have me looking back fondly at Happily N’Ever After but here I am, wondering if the original really was THAT bad. Yes, it was but this direct-to-DVD follow-up is even worse.

After her mother dies, Snow White (voiced by Helen Niedwick) grows up spoiled, caring only for the fame and fortune of royalty. The kingdom’s chances of a “happily ever after” ending is in danger when Mambo (Jim Sullivan) and Munk (Kirk Thornton) accidentally tip the scales of good and evil and give Lady Vain (Cindy Robinson) - who hates Snow White - the means to seduce now-widowed King Cole (Kelly Brewster) and become queen herself. Banished from the kingdom through Vain’s machinations, Snow White must learn kindness to save her home and people.

This is one of the worst-looking movies I’ve ever seen. People sometimes joke about first-generation computer imagery looking like something out of a video game but this time, no one is exaggerating. Every character is stiff, lifeless, and moves around like a cloud. The backgrounds are missing textures, objects seem misaligned, and everything is generally ugly. When characters speak, their mouths are stretched in any which direction. - You’ve seen better lip-synch from one of those rubber talking fishes hanging on the wall. It’s an eye-sore to watch and the experience is made worse by the garbage story.

You’ll notice none of the voice actors from the original film return. It's the same for the characters. Only the dwarves, the fairy godmother and both Mumbo & Munk make an appearance. Those last two add so little to the story they should’ve been cut. They weren't because this would’ve made this sequel even more tenuously tied to the 2006 Shrek wannabe and it would’ve also slashed precious minutes from the 70-minute running time. Even at barely over an hour, this feels like an eternity.

The jokes are never, ever funny, the dialogue inane and the plot lazy. The songs are so bland and forgettable you’re likely to fall asleep (if only you could). There isn’t an ounce of inspiration to be found anywhere. Happily N'Ever After 2 is inexcusably lazy and takes every shortcut possible. I can’t imagine anyone was clamoring for this sequel considering what the first one was like so this can’t even be something that was green-lit by some misguided fans. Happily N’Ever After 2 was spawned by an accountant; a bean counter who figured out the company could make X profits if they made a sequel that cost less than Y. It’s a disgrace.

If Happily N’Ever After was to Shrek what vegan spaghetti and meatballs is to regular spaghetti and meatballs, then Happily N'Ever After 2: Snow White—Another Bite @ the Apple is a collection of dog turds squeezed through some Play-Doh moulds to look like food. I can’t imagine anyone enjoying it. The ones who worked on this should be ashamed of themselves. (On DVD, March 22, 2019)

[windalchemist001]

Wondertober 2024 - Day 17: Dark mirror

Oc: ######## nickname yuu

I could only feel panic as I wanted to cry. Ok that a lie im ready crying. As I was trying to get back my breathing, but I was in a large room with hooded figures, I couldn't understand anyone and I couldn't help but want to go home. Sniffling the man with the mask walked over to want appeared to be a mirror and he spoke to it.

And as he did so I saw a face seemed to appeared in it. Despite my fears and slight panic attack, there was something about the Mirror that seemed familiar to me. And its not because I'm so use to mirrors due to them taking up a good chunk of the hallway back at home(choices ones parents makes are always odd)

No, there was some sort of nagging feeling in the back of my head, like a forgotten memory, and yet I could remember something from Shrek and yet I know its a parody, but when I try to think to much on it my head begins to hurt as if I'm getting a migraine, but worse.

As the sound of voices (though it might have been gibberish for the lack of my understanding) I gently moved closer to the mirror hestestly placing my hand on it as the face in the mirror was unsettling it felt so familiar o can almost image a girl in blue doing cartwheels fighting it in a void like place, but I'm not to sure why I thought of it.

As I looked at the mirror some more trying to remeber, something that almost seems like a whisper in the back of my head. "..... magic mirror on the wall...." a pause as I tried to think of something that fit the vibe I needed to go for.

"Listen to the words I speak, ... and give forth the answer I dare to seek." Hopefully that it would work a watched the mirror before me seem to be doing something and for a moment I begin to wonder if I fucked up. But soon the mirror being the first bit of actual understandable launage so far in this odd place.

The mirror begin to speak in rhyme. But I understood it well enough. And honestly it felt like a punch to the gut. Because I somehow needed to do certain tasks before I could go home and if don't do them than I can never go home, and yet it did not tell me what it is I needed to do?

Does this mean ill never go home? The thought made tears begin to flow more, as all I wanted was my parents because all I felt was scared, and I wish the dumb mirror would have not given me such horrible news, and instead take me home.

[polarcoconut]

Hello! I hope you are doing ok! May I participate in an exchange with you please? Thank you! db

What tv/movie/book/famous couple represents me and my future spouse?

Visual: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3734sK7doY (1:16-1:20)I feel like you’d be the ‘Detective couple’. You’re constantly trying to figure out what’s going on around you, learning new things together and trading new ideas. You love to investigate and build theories together.

Visual:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PCSeFH_Dss  I feel like when you are platonic, but starting to have romantic feelings for each other you’ll both get upset if the other sees someone. Not in toxic levels, but it'll annoy you enough to want to rant about it to your friends. “Why do you care?’ You’ll start to get nervous with each other, but try to cover it up with witty banter. Visual:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9c2J1RcRYE (0:00-2:04) I feel like it’ll take awhile for you to admit your feelings for each other. There will be a lot of denial even though others are confirming your feelings. It’ll definitely be a slow burn.

Visual: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NVfU8pY-Fg You’ll be drawn together but don’t really know why. You’ll make a lot of excuses until there’s no denying the attraction between you. I feel like the moment you finally act on your feelings will be a small but significant one. You’ll be expecting a BOOM, but its really just a tiny tilt of your axis. Everything will become clearer.

Visual:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAjceW1LZ3E (0:00-1:56) I feel like you’ll try to keep your relationship a secret for awhile so it's just for you. However everyone will be able to tell you are together.

Visual:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m52MBSE5XWI  (6:52-7:33) I feel like once your feelings are out there you won’t be able to contain yourselves. It won’t take much to ignite a fire especially since you suppressed it for so long. You may make others around you uncomfortable, but you won’t really notice? Its like you’re in your own bubble. You’ll be lost in each other. Others may throw things at you to try to get your attention.

I feel like you have a way of calming each other. You both have a tendency to word vomit when you’re nervous or upset so you both understand how to calm the other down. Only you can do that for each other though because I feel like no one else in your life has cared enough to try? So when you are upset, but you’re not with the person you’ll call them on the phone. Sometimes just hearing their voice helps, but most times you just have to get out what upset you first. ‘Do you feel better?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Good’ ‘I love you’. 

Visual:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIWdKi347cc (14:36-16:10)You match each other really well intellectually. You’re able to keep up with each other's fast, sharp wit. There is a constant dialogue between you and others around you may get annoyed. You like to argue and debate, especially around fiction. You’ll love watching tv together. It may be one of your frequent date nights to stay home and watch tv or go out to a movie. You’ll like to dissect what you just watched afterward. You’ll have a strong foundation of friendship before you are romantic. You’ll feel like best friends that just happen to be romantic. You’ll make a good team together. You’ll be able to call each other out on your sh*t. I also think you’ll try to plan time to spend together 🥴, but I feel like it’ll be mostly end up being spontaneous. 

shrek and fiona -shrek

i feel like y’all’s parents will be involved in your union. he’s going to be someone you give a second chance. you’re going to able to handle his big emotions. and he’ll accept you no matter what.

erika and jeff-the goldbergs

he’s going to follow you around to like a puppy dog but will be insecure in how you feel about them. you’ll be temperamental sometimes and want things your way. again, your parents will be involved in your relationship. your religion will be important to you. you’ll be rebellious. he’ll be sensitive.

scott and kourtney -keeping up with the kardashians

you’ll balance each other out. he’ll have outbursts. AGAIN, your parents will be involved. the relationship will be humorous. you’ll elevate him. he’ll tease you. you’ll take eachother for granted. other people want to see y’all’s relationship succeed.

diggie and maddie-liv and maddie

you’ll share common interests. you’ll know when something is off about the other person. you’ll take stuff too far with each other sometimes.

hopper and joyce-stranger things

you’ll sacrifice anything for each other. you’ll both believe in the greater good. you’ll both bring out being good parents with each other when you have kids. he’ll be reserved.

taylor swift and harry styles

You’ll be watched by other people. You’ll spark curiosity in the other. you’ll travel to see each other.

cory and topanga- boy meets world

you’ll introduce each other to new things. You’ll deeply understand each other. You’ll know each other from a past life. You may have known them since childhood or adolescence. People will guide y’all’s relationship.

feedback- all this resonated super hard! i was literally nervous the other day that my fs wouldn’t like how much tv i watch😂i’m so glad i’ll have someone to make me feel better when i’m upset. can you please re send the images? the links don’t work. or tell me the title of the videos.

[campbluelake]

Don’t You Forget About Me | Eri | Trial 5.6 | Verdict Reaction

[♫♫♫]

As she watches the scenes from earlier replay in the fire, Eri’s unsure she can stave off the regret much longer. At this rate the guilt will crush her alive. An unshakable weight, the inferiority she’s felt for years tripled in scale.

Even if she’s grateful he gave her a second chance, even if she’s not sorry to call him her best friend, even if she has to make good on her promise to escape this nightmare if he can’t—

She’s not too sure her heart can take it.

The others’ reactions only add to the burden bearing down on her. Saya’s vitriol, Abbie’s desperation, everyone’s remorse— all leaden, all threatening to drag her over and into the abyss.

She wonders if they wish it’d been her. If they do, is it because they like Kyousuke better? (She wouldn’t blame them if that's the case). Or is it because if she’d dealt the killing blow, then she’d finally, finally have to atone for her mistakes without Kyousuke Ishikawa bailing her out yet again?

She turns to her best friend, the man of the hour, and opens her mouth to address him. But no sound comes out; the guilt is pressing down on her chest so intensely she can’t make a sound.

But she can move, and isn’t that fitting? She’s always been someone whose body reacts faster than her mind. It’s why she hurt Max, then fled without checking for a pulse.

And so in an instant she’s on her feet. Another beat and she’s surged forward, all but tackling Kyousuke as she embraces him. She squeezes him tightly, as if her hug could keep the end from coming.

“You…”

It takes every fiber of her being not to apologize again. He wouldn’t want to hear it, after all, even though she so very desperately wants to beg for forgiveness. She’ll spend an eternity repaying him for this and every other instance of him cleaning up a mess of hers.

God, what she’d give to be her best friend's equal— to be less of a burden for him, to be someone he didn't feel the need to take care of.

She loosens her hold on him ever so slightly, shifts her hands to his shoulders. She stands on her tiptoes as she rests her forehead against his. Her brow is furrowed, and there’s a sense of urgency in her voice.

“You gotta promise me, Sporto: no matter what happens, no more cleaning up my messes, okay? We can clean ‘em up together, b-but— but you can’t go doin’ it without me anymore, even if you get badass ghost powers and think you’d be savin’ me some trouble. ‘Cause you won’t, and plus you know I don’t mind trouble, yeah? I mean, I became friends with ya in the first place, didn’t I?”

She takes a deep, shaky breath in.

“And don’t fuck off for good either, got it? You better haunt me, even after I go home for us. I’ll take care of Tai-kun for you, yeah? Mark my words— I’m gonna be so responsible, you’ll be fuckin’ floored. …But still, don’t go thinkin’ this was worth it, okay? ‘Cause… because—”

Her grip on his shoulders tightens. She ducks her head away, hugs him again. Fresh tears have welled up in her eyes, spilling over as she holds onto him for dear life.

“You’re my best friend, Sporto.”

Time and again, Eri has asked herself, where would she be without Kyousuke Ishikawa?

For everything good he’s done for her, she often can’t help but feel she’s done nothing but drag him down. Now especially she feels the unbearable weight of her numerous mistakes has pulled them both under.

Yet like a brief glimpse of the stars on a cloudy night, every so often the truth comes into focus: it’s primarily thanks to her he’s come as far as he has.

Usually she spots this truth in the quieter moments— upon his return from an evening spent with Niko, during a lull in a group conversation with friends, when the two of them are huddled together under a blanket watching Shrek for the seventeenth time.

So it catches her off-guard to have such an epiphany strike her now of all times, mere minutes before Kyousuke’s doom.

“I love you, Kyousuke Ishikawa, you know that?”

The words tumble from her lips before she can think them through, yet this impulsive act isn’t one she regrets.

She loosens her grip to look him in the eyes one final time. Her face is streaked with tears as she gives him a gentle smile. It’s small, fragile, yet filled with more love than she could ever hope to express.

And then, because of that star-like glimmer of truth which came into view during their darkest hour — that while she might spend an eternity making this up to Kyousuke, there’s a reason why he’s stayed by her side all this time — Eri finally lets go.

[sednas]

𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔

please don't judge my music taste, I love every single song in this ;-;

genderneutral!reader x various characters from tokyo revengers

tw: mention of a good fuck and one make out session, other than that just fluff

𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐌𝐀

fucked my way up to the top, lana del rey

okay can I say it? the first time you two fucked it was with this song played in the back. it may sound weird but it's a really important and good memory that he keeps in his mind. before you, he never had any feelings toward the person he slept with. he wouldn't say he made love to you this first time, but it was definitely the most passionate and meaningful sex he ever had.

𝐁𝐀𝐉𝐈

all star, smash mouth

your first date was terrible, the restaurant you went in definitely didn't serve the food as it was pictured on their instagram page and it started raining when baji drove you at your place on his motorcycle. you two were soaked once you got home and still hungry since you didn't eat much. to save the day you two decided to spend the rest of the evening like you always did, just hanging out like two besties. he ordered pizzas and you two watched shrek on your couch. when he hears this song, it makes him smile, and he remembers that your love is pure and you love him for who he is.

𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐀

someone to you, banners

kazutora fell in love with you first. he spent night thinking about you and how nice it would be to be in a relationship with you. he spent hours dreaming of being more than just a friend. he was terrified of confessing his true feelings so he had to hide them. he didn't usually listen to these kind of songs, but the lyrics were so relatable for him that he found himself going back weekly to it.

𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍

continuum, tanerélle

similar to hanma, the first time you two made out it was on this song. and when I say made out, I mean really made out. his body was pressed against yours, his hands wandering everywhere on your body, like he had waited for this moment all of his life. maybe he had. his tongue slipping between your lips, trying to get as far as he could so he could explore you a little more. he made you moan just by kissing you that day.

𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘

I still haven't found what I'm looking for, u2

pretty boy gets teary eyes listening to this when he's alone. he used to listen to this song and be sad because of the lyrics, thinking about all the people he lost and the way nothing will ever be the same without them. and then he found you, and now every time he listens to this song he wants to complete the lyrics, because he found what he was looking for. you changed this nostalgic tune into a happier one, and you're everything he needs and wants. this boy looks at you and thinks: "yep, this is all I want in my life."

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐘𝐔

god is a dj, p!nk

you two stayed stuck in a shopping center one night. did you do it on purpose? mayyyybe... it's like seeing the northern lights, it must be on the to-do list somewhere... you guys ate a whole pack of ice cream and cookie, then you went in the mattress section and had a huge pillow fight, jumping from bed to bed while throwing pillows at each other. but you weren't exhausted at all, chifuyu managed to find a microphone and connected it to his phone, putting his music on shuffle, god is a dj was the first song to come out. you danced together through the kid section, dancing in turn with a stuffed animal and then with each other. to say that you had one of the best night of your life would be an understatment.

𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐘𝐀

our love, curtis harding and jazmine sullivan

fine, you got your romantic dance in the kitchen. happy? mitsuya has always loved to dance with you for no particular reason, it's spontaneous and genuine. you finished washing the dishes when he showed up behind you and with a wonderful timing this song started playing on your phone on shuffle for some background music. "I love this song, please dance with me." his voice was soft, tickling just behind your right ear. even with two left feet, how could you possibly say no to him? he was hard to follow tho, as this song goes pretty hard, you ended stepping on his feet a few times but it only made him laugh.

a lovely reminder that reblogs and comments are highly appreciated ♡

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