they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
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Have you heard of swap hazbin hotel? If you do, then here is an idea for an au of Devil's bastard. This is roleswap, the personality would stay the same or similar.
What if it was alastor that open the hotel. The hotel's design would resemble his and his mother's old home. He did it as an experiment or because he was bored, knowing that no one would support redemption, no one except Charlie. She fully support the hotel idea and Alastor is now along the ride. Then when Charlie's father came, Alastor may not do much antagonize because he was the one that started the hotel and he may need support, so unfortunately he may have to grit his teeth while Lucifer does his "hell greatest dad". Don't worry, he will hold a grudge. When the reveal of Alastor's father happen, Lucifer will feel like putting a foot in his mouth due to his comment on Alastor and during his song.
What would the relationship be between Alastor and the hotel residents when the reveal happen?
Got a few asks about this, so I figured I'd combine 'em. I'll prolly won't address each and every point in these asks since I'm answering several at once.
Okay, so, to be honest, my opinion on roleswap AUs is kind of mixed. I think they can be a lot of fun, but I don't really like them when it's just swapping the character's aesthetics and narrative roles for no apparent reason. For a roleswap to be interesting to me, it has to highlight some underexplored aspect of a character, or some similarity between the swapped characters that isn't normally apparent. And I prefer there to be some in-universe reason why the roles are swapped, rather than it being just random.
One example I particularly like is a swap between Angel Dust and Vaggie, where Valentino was the one who came across Vaggie half-dead in the alley. In this universe where Angel Dust never signed a contract with Valentino but Vaggie did, Angel Dust stayed in his family's web of crime until he eventually joined the hotel. Even though each character ended up in one another's role, they still acted like themselves. Angel Dust was still Angel Dust, just with his mob connections more apparent and with the freedom to do things he couldn't while on Valentino's leash. And Vaggie was still very much the tough-as-nails former exorcist who, like the original Angel Dust, is the type to try to shoulder her burdens alone and reject outside help out of a sense of self-loathing.
I'm not as fond of most swaps between Charlie and Alastor because they usually end up feeling like wholly different characters to me. But in the comic I reblogged, what really sold it for me was Charlie's line about Alastor being an addict. I think it's fascinating if you view Alastor's need to kill as being similar to Husk's predisposition towards gambling, or Angel Dust's addiction to drugs and sex. For a character who routinely goes out of his way to be something Other Than Human, this is weirdly humanizing. Additionally, swapped Alastor's expression when Charlie calls him an addict suggests that she's right, and that the violent murderer we know in canon isn't entirely gone from this character. And if that's the case, then it's fair to assume the reverse is also true and the sweet, idealistic Charlie is somewhere under swapped Charlie's manic smile. This makes me want to follow their story, see what brought them to this point and where they'll go from here.
My biggest roadblock in setting up a swap AU of the Devil's Bastard AU - besides getting a bit frantic with sub-AUs already - is figuring out under what circumstances Alastor would open the Hazbin Hotel and Charlie would not. I would probably start with circumstances similar to the Raised Together AU, in which Lucifer found out about Nicaise getting pregnant with his son right away. But when Nicaise was murdered, instead of getting Alastor first, Lucifer went straight to Nicaise's killer to confront him. Unfortunately for the man's health, he was a drunkard and after what he did to Nicaise he heavily indulged. So when Lucifer appeared in front of him in all of his hellish, angelic glory, the man broke down in nearly incomprehensible babbling, and as he was begging for forgiveness for what he did to the woman and the boy, he inadvertently confessed to killing Alastor as well. All while Alastor was sleeping in the shed.
Lucifer slaughtered the man right then and there. What was left of his corpse didn't even look human by the time Lucifer was done with him. Then, heartbroken, Lucifer returned to Hell for good. In the aftermath he became even more fiercely protective of Charlie, not even letting her leave their family home without him or Lilith present. And this added yet more friction to his and Lilith's strained relationship. Sadly, Charlie's dreams hit their first major roadblock before she'd even gotten them off the ground.
But obviously Alastor wasn't dead. He didn't have an easy time of things after his kidnapper's death, since he wasn't able to weasel his way into that man's grace, but he was very much inspired by the event. He would still go on to become a serial killer, seeing it as the only way to fix what was wrong with the fucked up world he lived in. Plus, it was really really fun.
When he died and went on his Overlord murdering spree, he drew the attention of Lilith who immediately clocked there was something different about this sinner. Between what Lucifer had told her - at her discretion - about his child and human friend, the unnatural amount of power, and Alastor's name, she put two and two together almost instantly. She decides to keep a close eye on this particular sinner. With Lucifer more withdrawn than ever and keeping Charlie in isolation with him, it wasn't hard for her to keep his presence in Hell a secret. It was just a matter of figuring out what to do with this information.
Arrogant as he is, the day eventually comes when Alastor gets in over his head. Maybe he fared worse in the fight against Vox and Valentino than even they realized, maybe he got caught in the middle of an extermination. Whatever the case, Lilith swooped in and offered a deal; his life for his soul. And Alastor was in no position to say no.
With Alastor on her leash, Lilith decides on what to do with him. She's going to make her daughter's dream come true. Although Charlie hasn't been allowed to go out and interact with sinners regularly in decades, she still harbors hopes of saving them from exterminations. Something which Lilith is aligned in, though their methods are slightly different. And with her growing frustration towards Lucifer, wouldn't it be just beautiful if one of his very own detested sinners were to prove him wrong? Hence why she doesn't tell Lucifer that his son made his way to Hell after all. Of course, Alastor doesn't believe in redemption and wouldn't go along with this willingly, so Lilith gives him some motivation. If he can get one - just a single soul - into Heaven, she will return his soul to him. All he needs to do is prove it's possible.
As far as Alastor's concerned, she just gave him an impossible task as a means of taunting him. In his mind, she's basically told him, "You're mine forever." But, this is the only path available to him right now, so he sets to it.
The first Charlie ever learns of Alastor's existence is the broadcasts of his victims' screams. So she instantly recognizes the voice on the radio advertising a project aimed at doing no less than exactly what she's always dreamed of! Is it possible? Did one of the most bloodthirsty, ruthless, and dangerous Overlords decide to walk the path of redemption himself?
...Maybe. Charlie isn't naive enough not to suspect some ulterior motives from the Radio Demon. But she hopes. And it's that hope that fuels her to once again approach Lucifer and beg him to let her go out and help their people. Lucifer refuses to listen. He shuts her down, not willing to entertain the notion of a sinner fighting for redemption for even a moment. There's no point in having faith in them. Charlie leaves dejected.
Later that night, as she's once again rereading the story of how her parents met, the Radio Demon's voice rattling in her head, she decides she's had enough. Why did she ever bother with asking? Her parents are the original rebels! She grabs her cell phone, a few wads of cash, and - when they notice her leaving and don't try to stop her - Razzle and Dazzle, and disappears into the night.
Needless to say, Alastor is very, very confused when this mysterious Hellborn shows up on his doorstep, not wanting to seek redemption or protection from the exterminations, but declaring her intent to help. He's instantly suspicious, and it hits Charlie that Alastor won't believe any genuine offers of help. So she does the first thing she can think of; she acts shady. Her acting is a little awkward and stilted, but Alastor more readily believes that she's there to watch him make a fool of himself. Besides, as powerful as he is, the funding she offers will go a long way towards fixing up the facility. So the hotel gains a mysterious new facility manager with a hidden agenda in the form of the Princess of Hell. Not that she's telling anyone who she really is.
Eventually Charlie's sure that Lucifer will come looking for her, so she has to work fast to make this thing work before he figures out where she is.
She just doesn't know the clusterfuck that's awaiting her when that day finally comes.
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