#*parents. your kid who you love rejects your affection bc it's not cool & there's all this posturing abt being grown up & rebellious agains

[buddyapologist]

sry for all the txt posts but i just remembered that line from stranger things s2 where hopper is leaving a note for eleven that says "i'm not mad, i'm just sorry" and im just. fucking essay in the tags

[littlebabycrybtch]

anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God, 

[mego42]

207 Discussion Q’s

shout out and thank you to @pynkhues for putting these together even though she wasn’t gonna be here this week

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

obvs the dubby but underrated fav is Ruby and Jane in the closet, idk exactly why but I am starved for the families interacting with each other content (screw the timeline, the most unrealistic aspect of this show is that they aren’t constantly in and out of each other’s houses with ben and sara continually being called on to babysit) so this little snippet makes me levitate

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

the annie and noah scenes for sure. I mostly feel betrayed bc I really liked them the first time I watched (i have a lot of built in affection for sam huntington let me live) and now I’m like BEGONE FOUL BETRAYER and feel pre-emptive fatigue over annie’s taste in men and how that’s not going to get better any time soon

3. I know time does not exist in the Good Girls universe (or in reality anymore), but let’s start with a timeline question! The implication of the opening montage is that a bit of time has past since Beth strongarmed the partnership with Rio at the end of 2.06. How long do you think it’s been? And more importantly, what do you think these early days of their partnership looked like?

I tend to lean towards at least 2 months, maybe more based on:

the number of shoeboxes and how many times Beth’s shown making a closet deposit

how lived in their annoyance over Beth’s dividing her time and Rio pushing back feels

the implication (at least how i read it) that Rio’s annoyance stems from having to track Beth down which presumably implies they’d grumbled their way into a semi-functional working relationship prior (supported by their ease with each other in 208) and if the montage has only been a month, that would be a maximum of 4 meetings and I don’t particularly think that’s enough time for them to get over being extremely prickly with each other

the fact that Beth goes to Rio for help when Jane’s missing (again, to me implies a longer period of time to get over some of their antagonism than a max of 4 meets)

I imagine their initial partnership went something like Beth being a smug brat about forcing her way in, Rio being deliberately unhelpful and trying to force her to admit she’s in over her head (while still keeping enough of an eye on things that his money isn’t jeopardized), Beth stubbornly refusing to and finding ways to rise to the occasion, Rio being grudgingly impressed, Beth being annoyed with herself for how pleased she is over that. Lather, rinse, repeat until they’ve worn a cantankerous but bizarrely comfortable groove into each other.

meanwhile, Mick, Annie and Ruby are absolutely disgusted by everything happening in front of their eyes.

4. The first scene between Ruby and Turner in this episode is a really dynamic one! It’s pretty clear that Ruby’s afraid of Turner, but what do you think Turner thinks of Ruby?

I think he sees a big cartoon canister labeled "Beth Boland Bait"

5. Taking the kids to the drop was a pretty big mistake! What do you think Beth should’ve done in this instance? Do you think saying no again to Rio was an option?

CALLED BEN OR SARA FOR A BABYSITTING ASSIST. For fucks’ sake.

And yeah, I think she could’ve said no to Rio but he would’ve kept her cut of that drop and, even worse, would’ve been able to hold the fact that she didn’t deliver that one time over her head forever more.

6. The krav maga teacher offers some sage advice telling Dean to not order the hit and instead just divorce his wife, haha. Do you think that he thought the baby hitmen would come through for Dean? Or do you think he was deliberately setting Dean up to get robbed?

I choose to believe the krav maga teacher knew exactly what kind of an idiot Dean was and set him up because the dude clearly had at least two brain cells to rub together and anyone with two brain cells to rub together would never get tangled up in a murder plot with Dean standing on the street corner telling random bystanders in detail how he wants to kill the guy that fucked his wife what do you mean established means and motive Boland.

7. During Ben and Annie’s tense conversation, Ben tells Annie that she’s hard to keep track of - she’s parent mom, cool mom, sketchy mom. In a lot of ways, this feels like a parallel to Ruby talking to Beth in the last episode and calling her ‘drug Beth, gun Beth, human trafficking Beth’. What do you make of this? And how do you think it relates to the show’s themes?

I defer to @foxmagpie’s answer because I like it a lot. 

8. The scene with the girls in the house! Tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I love this scene a lot

Beth’s channeling Rio in general but also specifically in 201 you will never ever change my mind

Sometimes I lie awake at night wishing Rio had seen it

Prayer circle that he sees a version of it in s4

Can you imagine the nightmare level of boner he would get? The sheer narcissism!!

Ruby’s obvious wish for new friends is The Most Valid

I really love the main drug den guy, I love Blake Shields’s energy, it makes the scene crackle, and I wish they’d bring him back purely bc he’s gr9

9. Annie meets Noah in this episode! What do you think of their introduction to one another? And how would you rate Noah on the scale of ‘Garbage Annie Love Interests’?

at least he’s not her therapist I guess

10. Beth has two pivotal and emotionally revealing fights this episode - one with Dean and the other with Rio. How do these fights compare? And what do you think they tell us about her respective relationship with them?

UUUNNNNNFFFFFFFF

I L O V E how hard the show goes on Dean’s obsession with Beth and Rio as the primary source of his angst

the fact that he’s trying to rope Stan into murder while looking for Jane who isn’t even MISSING but Dean had NO IDEA bc instead of giving a shit he went straight to HOW CAN THIS BE THAT GUY’S FAULT

I love how clearly they delineate that it isn’t about Beth but specifically about someone else ~*~taking~*~ Beth from him and how emasculated that makes him feel (something something something the storyline opens with the krav maga guy choking him out and then telling him to divorce her and Dean being like I reject your rational and logical solution bc it doesn’t punish the man who touched my property, idk i have a half baked thought there but i can’t pull it out of my brain)

and then it’s all underscored how little Dean’s worried about Beth and her safety by him bringing her work up specifically as a gotcha (which, unless I’m forgetting something, is p much the only context Dean ever brings it up in besides maybe the sit down fight but that’s again, about Beth acting out vs genuine concern)

Meanwhile, this is contrasted with:

Beth flipping tf out at the mere suggestion Rio would ever hurt her children, showing how deeply and instinctively she trusts him in regards to her children aka what’s been established as her Most Important Priority over and over (in the same breath that she rips into Dean for losing Jane in the first place)

which is doubled down on her immediately going to Rio for help

and he is FURIOUS at her, but the thing he leans hard on isn’t how she could have jeopardized the business deal (aka his money, what’s been established as his Most Important Priority over and over) but how she jeopardized herself and how badly she can fuck up if she doesn’t take this seriously

putting himself in a vulnerable position (presumably burning a connect, letting on that Beth means something to him beyond business) to look out for Beth’s emotional well-being

And then, just to drive it home a little further, @sothischickshe pointed out the Beth and Rio fight over Beth’s self preservation is directly paralleled with Stan freaking out at Ruby over the IA stuff because he’s worried about her and I had to go and stare at a blank wall for a few minutes to calm down.

anyway, draw your own conclusions.

11. Ruby takes Jane being missing as an opportunity to try and find evidence on Beth for Turner and, in the process, finds Jane too. How do you think this scene captures Ruby’s moral dilemma? And do you think it’s a satisfying turning point in the Ruby-Turner arc?

I struggle a lot with the Turner and Ruby plot specifically because I HATE that Turner’s ruthlessly leaning on Ruby as the weak link but I’m also ferociously attracted to him so I’m less bothered by it than I feel like I should be so mostly I just try not to think about any of it.

Idk, I see it in some ways as a continuation of Ruby’s fight with Beth and Annie in s1 where Annie said she isn’t blood. They put Ruby on the outside but when push comes to shove, Ruby still puts the two of them above her own family. As far as I’m concerned, Annie still owes Ruby a massive apology for that. Beth I let off the hook a little because by the end of the season she’s ready to turn herself in to make it all go away for all of them (I think, unless I’m misremembering, which is entirely possible bc I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched all of 213)

12. RIO GETS BETH THE DUBBY!! That’s it, that’s the question. Please discuss.

I think a lot about how the gesture is so baldly honest neither one of them can face it either at all (Rio) or without taking a shot first (Beth) which, now that I’ve typed it out, is also an interesting flip of their general MO bc under normal circumstances I’d put Rio down as the one that, of the two of them, is more willing to face stuff whereas Beth’s the one that hides from it.

[vancilocs]

4, 6, 10, 19, 20 22 29 30 34 36 41-45 for roxette, remy and iain?

all sortsa people

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

Roxie’s parents got together, married and had her far too young so they also split up when she was just a toddler and kept in pretty minimal contact. So she could pretty much do what she liked because A) her parents were trying to one-up the other by being more lenient and nicer to her so she could literally just say “but daddy lets me-” and her mom would let her do that and more, and B) the parents didn’t speak to one another so she could get both of them to take her to the zoo because the other didn’t know she had already been there with the other. Boi did she learn how to manipulate people quick

Remy’s mom wasn’t overtly strict but not overtly lenient either. She made sure to teach her kids manners, respect and all that, gave them rules, grounded if needed, but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Outwards the family was just spotless and perfect, but Iain’s parents were pretty strict and quite demanding of him (his sister too). But, as long as he pulled straight A’s from school, he could do what he liked with his spare time before curfew. 

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

She grew up holding the leash of both her parents, but when they remarried and had other children when Roxie was in her teens, she was absolutely mortally insulted. So that feeling of affection turned into rejection really quick because she wasn’t the center of their world at all and this wouldn’t do.

Affection, dad wasn’t around but mom is and was very loving and nurturing, and there were aunts, uncles and grandmas and grandpas. So even if he had to share with his other two siblings there was plenty of love to go around 

Mainly affection, but very conditional and like he had to be even better because he was born “imperfect”. He still loves his parents and kinda refuses to see how their demands still affect his life.

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

Very street-smart and quick-witted, very manipulative. Knows how to use her looks to fool people and make them underestimate her. 

Very very street-smart, always knows a chance to profit when he sees one. An expert on doing crimes without actually doing crimes and thus avoiding jail.

Book-smart and intelligent, good with people as well. Persuasive.

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

Used to think she was the only thing her parents could care about until she wasn’t. These days maybe she’s a little unaware of how unhinged she actually is

He has a habit of not trusting anything or anyone outright, he’s the doubting kind who absolutely wants to dig into the very root of everything and see things out of every angle. He also sees the worst sides of a lot of things and people so he really has no disillusions about the world.

He’s just stuck on the thought that he needs to be better. Doesn’t matter what it is, he needs to be smarter, stronger, thinner, a better doctor, a better friend, a better husband, do this, do that, do everything cool, run a marathon, just constantly improve.

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

It’s hard to think about big events like that but maybe for Remy when Krea dang near got murdered, because to him the judge is damn near unstoppable and probably immortal, to see him die was pretty eye-opening. Impressive that someone that much smaller could do him in like that

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or 'ideal’ partner?

She has some friends she hangs out with when off work, regular people like club waitresses, dancers, bartenders and bouncers. She has a boyfriend or a girlfriend every now and then, usually it ends at least when they find out about her actual job or she just loses her cool like she does. Doesn’t care about the physical side but you gotta be a little crazy for her to like you. Wouldn’t mind a squeeze, casual or not.

Lots and lots of friends he hangs out with often, very few close friends though because he doesn’t trust like that. Lovers he really doesn’t have time for nor does he really care enough to have a type.

Befriends everyone if they allow it, a very friendly and outgoing guy happy to make new acquaintances. He’s been married three times - the first wife he left because he fell in love with the second one who was terminally ill and later passed away, years later he fell in love with Malva and married them. Really no type or preference, be cute and friendly, really the type of guy to fall in love with your heart and personality

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

Addict, easily angered and prone to moodswings, unless she’s been given clear orders on what to do or not to do she can act real irrationally when she lets her feelings lead, messy

Too nosy for his own good, physically tiny, has a billion irons in the fire at the same time and without his trusted helpers would be so lost

Absolute refusal to take it easy

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

For no good reason thinks her parents outright betrayed her, refuses to forgive. Holds very long grudges against former partners too, none of her breakups have gone well

Made some dreadful mistakes that cost him his tail, will never forgive himself for that

He doesn’t blame his parents at all for making him such an overachiever, though he doesn’t even consider himself that nor does he think it’s anything to blame anyone for or anything to forgive

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

In her opinion nobody should ever be mean to her or do things she doesn’t like or she will hurt them

He’s just doing his thing, no need for big words.

He’s kinda vain but doesn’t consider himself better than anyone (just himself). Very chill and nice

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

Like, if a guy is harassing some girl at the club she absolutely hates seeing the girl in distress and very gleeful about knocking the guy’s teeth out. Depends on the situation. As for suffering herself... well, she’s never minded a bit of pain in the right circumstances

If they’re bad people then sure, he steals their money and sees them scramble and laughs about it. But he also sees a lot of little people suffering and hates it. Doesn’t want to suffer.

He’s a doctor, absolutely doesn’t want people to suffer. Will do anything to fix up something cosmetic or related to prosthetics that causes his patients pain or other kinds of anguish (though he avoids doing things like unnecessary nose jobs or facelifts, embrace your looks people). Not a fan of suffering himself yet he makes himself do that by doing triathlons

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

In her eyes she’s a nice person who doesn’t deserve anything bad to be done to her and everyone who’s ever criticised her is wrong and mean. She’s great and pretty and pretty great. At times she will criticize others for doing the same bad things she does, don’t point this out to her or she will get mad

He’s self-aware, he has his little pizza hands in so many soups that he kinda has to have a good sense of self before dealing with so many others.

I guess Iain is always a little separate from the Better Iain he’s always striving to be. There will always be a Better Iain no matter how hard he works

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

She just wants money, alcohol, cocaine, new clothes, a soft bed to sleep in, good things to eat, all the nice things, someone to pet her hair and tell her how great she is and maybe top her. Is that so much to ask. She’s would probably toss almost everyone she knows to the wolves to get that

He always wants information and at times goes to insane lengths to get it, but avoids sacrificing or risking too much, no lives are put in danger (or, any lives he cares about at least) or outsiders harmed. Mainly he just uses a shitton of money in bribes and acts as fast as he can to get to the information first

Be the Best he can be, dammit. What is the Best he can be? He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t know to get there

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

Well she’s not super open about her work to anyone except those who know otherwise. Just says she works at the club, doing some peacekeeping.

He knows lots of secrets of other people, but for his own he doesn’t let his mom know what he’s up to bc he knows she’d disapprove and he doesn’t want that

No, he’s an open book.

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

Her goals are pretty short-term, think “beating this guy into a pulp so I can go back to the club and get absolutely cranked”, or “I want this guy to rail me”, she’ll do whatever’s needed to get it, be it beating someone into a pulp or being cute and batting her eyelashes

He’s careful about learning stuff and things but he does want to learn stuff and things, always working towards doing that and also using the things he’s learned to his advantage

Dude’s a vegetarian gym rat health nut, maybe his methods are very innocent-sounding but he cranks them up to 11

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

Very intense and passionate, acts fast, punches first and asks second if it seems the situation needed it, gets annoyed if she needs to stay back but will listen to her boss.

The type to stand back for a long time, observe from afar and learn everything there is to learn before acting or carefully moving closer to learn more. A lot of the time he doesn’t even act, at most he’ll sell the information to someone who might find it useful.

Responsible but passionate, looks at a lot of things from many angles before going for it and encourages others to do so as well. In work absolutely not the type to just dive into cosmetic surgery to “fix” something that doesn’t need fixing, works with the patient first to see if this is what they really need (he hasn’t had absolutely no procedures himself either).

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #225

“i tried to write your name in the rain, but the rain never came.”

How many times a day do you check your cell to see if you have a text? Considering my dumb phone doesn't let me know I have texts half the time, I do multiple times throughout the day. Ever wonder if the person you hate will become the person you marry? HA HA YOOOOOOOOOOOO SARA AND I DID AND NOW I DEADASS WANNA MARRY HER TOMORROW How many times a day do you wash your hands? It varies. After I use the bathroom or if I'm about to touch food. You walk in on your parents smoking pot, what do you do? lol h u h How old were you when you had your first crush? Hell if I know. I do remember as a young kid though, I was very much "ew boys no thnx." Maybe like... 5th grade? When was the last time you asked God for something? A long, long time ago. Your opinion on smoking: Just don't, dude. It's money going towards gradual suicide. No one likes the smell. You sure won't like how it affects your body. It's an addiction/it's stressful to stop. I'm not gonna like, judge you if you smoke, but nevertheless, I'll tell anyone it's an awful idea. Make love or fuck? It depends on the mood. I was more into the former mood back when that even applied to me, though. Have you ever cried so much over something that later felt like nothing? Oh, I can assure you I have. The last time you were afraid of the dark was: I'm not really scared of the dark, but one time I got up semi-recently in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and after one incident, I was so, so careful and nervous to step on Bentley's tail. He lost his fucking mind on me when I did it once, of course on accident. The TV was off by this point, so I couldn't see well at all. I love having a dog that fucking scares me. How often do you say I love you to your parents and mean it? A whole lot. Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? I mean sure, it sucks, but if they're legitimately busy, they're busy. Have you ever wanted a wild animal for a pet? If yes what animal? I had a phase where I really wanted a fox, and now I am DEAD serious about fostering opossums at some point. When you go to sleep, do you have to have white noise or silence? SILENCE. Though I don't really get /total/ silence 'cuz I have to have my fan on. My room's always hot. Have you ever gotten in a fight with a teacher? No. Ever had a creepy dream about a teacher? No. Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? I believe I was at my then-best friend's house. I had suuuuch bad separation anxiety from my mom that I know I was older than most kids who did. What are you limits for doing stuff for money? I'd never do sexual favors or seriously hurt someone for it. Is there someone you are mean to all the time for no reason? No. I'll admit I'm typically rather short with Bentley, but Jesus, do I have reason. When you think of love what’s the first that comes to mind? Sara. How do you calm your mind and find peace when you are stressed? My best bet is going to sleep; that's pretty much, usually, my reset button. Have you ever given someone flowers? I gave Jason flowers once or twice. I gave my mom some for Mother's Day as a kid. How often do you get on Facebook? A couple times a day... mainly just to see memes lmaoooo. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? Good Lord, Tuesdays. I'm at school for 13 hours. Mostly sitting in the library waiting for classes, but. I do study a whole lot, though, and it's when I get a bunch of schoolwork done. Is there a place that you will never return back to? Idk. When was the last time that you created a PowerPoint? I'm actually working on/off one for FYS 'cuz we have to do this "Lifeline" thing where we introduce ourselves and give our stories. Guess who's not fucking ready. Do you like group work? NO. NO. Particularly if it's with people I don't know. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Is music or the TV on while you complete this survey? I'm listening to Chase Holfelder's cover of "Kiss The Girl" rn. Does your grass need cut currently? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? Occasionally. What color are the doors in your house? White. Have your friends ever not wanted you to be with someone? Probably. What is your favorite use for whipped cream? I hate that stuff. What is your favorite flower? Orchids. And your favorite nut? Ew no thanks. Can you curse in a foreign language? Of course I know "fuck" and "shit" in German lmao. Are you fond of spaghetti? Hell yeah man. Have you ever played in the mud? I sure did zoom through it on my bike as a kid. Do you remember what your first real relationship felt like? That relationship ultimately led to PTSD, how could I possibly forget. Who can make you happy no matter what? Sara, Mark, and Game Grumps are particularly good at that. How tall are you? 5'4.5'' Are there any animals near you? No, I'm at school rn. Do have a lot of lists? No. Are you a godparent? No. Do you sleep too much or not enough? Eh, it depends on the day and my mood. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? Yep. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? Never been on one before. Do you think having a bad temper is a sign of immaturity? I mean, no? It's an interesting question and I guess a "maybe," but. I feel this depends on the trigger. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? I was a fucking yoga master babe in 9th grade, fuckin fite me. When growing up, did your parents keep the house very tidy? I guess? It wasn't dirty. How many watches do you own? Zero. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? Political views, I guess? Or the fact I'm bi? I only know of one person in my extended family that's gay. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? No shit? Emergencies are a thing? BUT, respect the teacher, please. I cannot stand people using their phone in class, especially here in college. You're paying a shitload to learn. Spend that time as you're supposed to. Take education seriously. If your phone's on vibrate for said emergency situations, that's cool. Do you have any gay relatives? Lol oh. Yeah, Mom has a cousin. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Yeah. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? I deleted my sister's mother-in-law in fury over her homophobia because I've seriously had it, then just a few days ago actually I went through my Facebook list deleting people I just didn't really feel connected to/didn't really care to follow their journey anymore. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? Zero. Do you know what your vocal range is? It's not broad. I'd say I'm probably in a rank slightly lower than most women. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I've never really been in the position to be capable of that. I've never had a source of income. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Probably heavy. Or symphonic, though I haven't found too many artists in that sub-genre that I really enjoy. But BOY, when I do? I will BINGE that shit to the ends of the earth. Have you ever turned down someone who didn’t handle the rejection well? Ha ha oh man, I remember in 4th grade, this kid Nick was desperate to date me. It was endearing and cute, but he asked kinda obsessively. Then jfc, when I broke up with Tyler, you would've thought I was Jason and he was me, holy shit. How large is your largest scar, and what is it from? Well, I can't see it, so I actually don't know. I guess kinda long, but not wide. It's from a cyst removal surgery. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? Omg, my Writing teacher. She really liked my writing on my essay. I was so flattered. When was the last time you went for a walk? Like, just a casual walk for the sake of walking? Not since I was at Sara's last. That was when my muscle atrophy was starting to get extremely bad though and I was very close to death omg. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? I don't think so. When cooking a meal, do you clean up as you go or wait til you’re done? I don't know how to cook. Do you develop crushes easily? NO. I am soooooo romantically picky. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? A month or more with Colleen after we were evicted. That was a really good time, honestly, regardless of how we feel about each other now. I don't think anyone's done something so selfless for me, and we really did have fun. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? I'd say it was normal for someone that age. Do you like salsa that has fruit in it? NO. Do you think stained glass windows are pretty? Hell yeah. That was my favorite thing about the church I grew up with; Catholic churches tend to truly have incredible stained glass. Are you scared of snakes? Nope, snakes are Baby. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? No; I only have two, and I just slightly have enough room for them. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? I strongly prefer soft. Have you ever been carded when buying something? Yes. Do you eat meat? Regretfully. Can you sleep with the light on? NOOOOOOOOOO. I have to truly be exhausted. Have you ever broken a bone? No, but I did fracture my wrist as a kid. Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class? Bitch I wish, tf. Do you use the microwave often? Considering a bitch can't cook, yes. Microwavable meals are the reason I am alive. Have you ever painted a room? No. What’s in your copy and paste? This survey. Do you know anyone that’s painfully, socially awkward? Fuckin ME JFC. How do you usually pose in your pictures? With the left side of my face facing the camera (bc my hair kinda swoops over the right side), and I'll usually smile with my teeth or do a :D face bc at least I look happy instead of high with my squinty-ass eyes. :') Do you know anyone that absolutely freaks out if you try to take a picture of them? um????????? me?????????????? Do you pick on them for it and attempt to take loads of pictures anyway? If someone doesn't want me to take a picture of them, I absolutely don't push them 'cuz I totally get it. How’s your posture? Bad. Have you ever had to take care of a fake baby in family ed? Thank God in Heaven no. I. Would. Have. Raged. ^ were you a good mother/father? N/A What’s your favorite way to wear your hair up? My hair is too short for that. But I generally find french braid buns SO pretty. Have you ever read a ‘banned’ book? Uh, I don't think so. What does your screen name mean? Favorite animal, meerkats, + favorite artist, Ozzy Osbourne. Have you ever had to take a sobriety test? N- no wait. They were mandatory when I've gone to the ER for suicidal thoughts. Do you like movies more if they’re based on actual events? It doesn't really matter to me. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done with your cell phone? Idk, dropped it? What’s your opinion on gold diggers? Selfish, or smart? Both? Uh, I don't think it's exactly debatable to call it selfish... I mean, you're dating for the sake of monetary gain...? What would you do if your bf/gf was hitting on someone else right in front of you? I couldn't even try to picture her doing that, but obviously I'd be uncomfortable and jealous. What’s something you’ve done that you’ve sworn you’d never do? Idk, multiple things. Which ex of yours do you talk to the most? I only talk to Girt. Can you recall the first person you ever drank/got drunk/high with? I drank with family, probably, but I've never reached the point of being drunk, and I've never been high. ^ are you still friends? I mean, I love my family. Have you ever taken someone else’s vehicle without permission? No. What were you doing the last time you were videotaped? *shrugs* Is that something you’d be comfortable uploading and sharing? I don't know what it would be. Which friend wears the same size clothes as you do? Probably none? I don't have many friends to compare to. Is there anyone’s wardrobe that you’d like to steal? UM Suzy Hanson is a B A B E? ?? ? ? ??? I adooooorrrrre her clothing line (Psychic Circle), too, and so wanna buy something. Have you ever been lost in the woods? DARLIN I've watched The Blair Witch Project 2 much for that shit. What did you last stretch the truth about? Idk. Have you ever had withdrawals from something? Caffeine, and then WoW for quite a few months after I stopped playing for like, a year or more. Is there anyone on your friend’s list you know next to nothing about? I know at least one of Mom's friends that I've only met once, and briefly. How old is 'too old’ for you to date? I wouldn't date over 30 (I absolutely stg that has nothing to do with H I S age being 30 lmaoooo). How do you feel about guys in tight jeans? Skinny jeans look good on like, anyone. Favorite hour-long show? Uhhh idk. Well, at least out of the shows I used to like and would be most interested in watching, The Good Doctor. Favorite half-hour show? Meerkat Manor. Most people who’ve slept over at your house all at once? My current house? Just one, I think. Steak or chicken? Chicken. I'm piiiiickyyyy w/ steak. Is flirting really cheating? Yes, if you're clearly not just teasing. What’s something you own that’s /only/ of sentimental value? My pebble from my partial hospitalization program. What’s your choice of chips? Girrrrrllll gimme Cool Ranch Doritos. What song would you use to torture someone? i t ' s  f r i d a y  f r i d a y What is the weirdest compliment you have ever received? Probably that my nose was cute? If someone REALLY fat was upset, and saying how FAT they were, what would you say? First off, NOT say "you're not fat omg ur beautiful." I'M overweight and don't like when people say that. I'm perfectly aware that you're lying "for my own sake," which is sweet, but it's not helpful. Motivate me/the person to improve without being an asshole. Let them know I believe in them, which I do for ANYONE. If I could lose 60-70 pounds in a year, anyone can. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a kid say? So when I was very little and my mom gave me orange juice, I freaked out because it had pulp in it. And what did I say? "I CAN'T DRINK THAT IT HAS NIPPLES IN IT" look idk don't ask but boy does Mom love sharing that story. A random stranger walks up to you and says 'you’re hot’. You say: Most likely "go away." Possibly "thank you, but please go away." Actually yeah, that's more likely. Like it's flattering to know someone finds you attractive, but yeah, that's just uncomfortable for some stranger to do that. I also wouldn't want to really piss the person off. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? Definitely not. Almost the only person ever would be Girt. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No. Not my kinda scene. Like I absolutely will not think less of someone who does this, but I just don't like but moreso feel bad for men or women who reduce themselves to their sexual capabilities. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? Hell nah man. Pizza is supreme. What color is your watch? I'm not wearing one. I never do. Do you believe in love at first sight? Absolutely not. Visual attraction, of course that's real, but I promise you dear, you don't love someone upon looking at them. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? I hate that stuff. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's father-in-law's mom. ... At least I think that's what she is? Do you want to change your name? Nah, it's fine. Have you ever tried to erase someone from your memory? Of course I have.

[kendrixtermina]

Baby Reacts to the Latest Steven Bomb

SPOILERS

So apparently we’re getting the obligatory beakup/ couples-first-argument storyline

It seems to me that Steven’s optimism and rose tinged glasses are being adressed as a character flaw... and let me tell ya, it IS, or at least can be no matter how  much our current society worships “positivity”. A person who wants to pretend their problems dont exist isnt always inclined to see yours, even if they are otherwise a generous and nice person. 

my mother has this particular flaw and while i love her to bits (after all there are no perfect humans),this has at times very frustrating for my sisters and I.

and ohhh political unrest!

MODERN political unrest as in how it is changed by internets & stuff

there were certainly some analyzeable lines in there

who knew granny pizza gave such good speeches?

a lesser show would just have pulled a new character out of their sleeves instead of grabbing a random sensible cast member wth some leadership ability 

aww steven not everything is your fault

thats one way to end the episode...

ep 2

im not surprised that Lapis wants to bail after all she’s been through but i expected more of a reaction from peridot like wasn’t she resolved to protect the earth join the rebellion and stick it to the diamonds? 

i mean i was never among the ones who claimed she had been sillyfied but if this doesn’t get mentioned later imma be upset this was THE opportunity for conflict/character nteraction/ serious content here

Ohh OHH I take it all back I see where this is going

She does actually want to help the rebellion, but her “follower” tendencies wouldn’t completely go away because shes in a new situation and she may have been a tad overwhelme finding herself caring for someone who was recovering from so much punishment so she’s walking on eggshells around lapis now

Onions Onions lol

So they’re playing off the expectation that they’re this comey duo now but subverting it

In the end they did stay true to Peridot’s character here like of COURSE she wants to stay and fight everything weve seen from her so far would suggest it

aww poor bby the thing with ddoing the right thing is there’s not always a reward

Is that a sort of relationship deconstruction, conclusion? I may need to rewatch things & see if there was always a tedency for ‘Dot to accomodate Lapis perhaps by acting all silly, i mean they were abvle to have at least silly arguments in “the crsytal temps”

I emphasize with Peridot here I mean when you’re less affected and the other person went through something you couldn’t imagine and someone ~should~ be there to help them your own concerns start looking insignificant

Also she may feel some residual guilt for kind of dragging Lapis into this...

Then again having ‘Dot in the temple may mean more screentme especially as the Diamond’s arrival drawn nearer

Again the contrast here is interesting - Peridot is much weaker in terms of powers but has a personality suitable to fighting whereas Lapis for all her power is just plain terrified

So far the eps have been meaty enouh compared to the long stretch of calm-before-the-storm town episodes we’ve had but they haven’t even talked-over the big developements of the last bomb or the very promising trailer clips with Greg, Pearl and the others. 

Indeed, distinct lack of Garnet, Amethyst and Peal so far wouln’t they have something to say about the Lapis situation?

Though mybe that is meant to emphasize this arc of Steven taking all responsibility onto himself instead of going to them like he would have earlier - it isn’t just Lapis, he hasn’t talked to them about the Connie Situation either

ep 3

It’s Greg! That at least seems like a promising sign 

Texting feels

Aww even around Greg he’s this worried about effing everything up

I like the narration of the texts

Likefinally a show that instead of being “you kids with your trinkets” explores the emotional dimensions these things have become involved with

Aaand of course Greg notices * sigh * if only there were more dads like Greg in this world

And he doesn’t even push it, just “do you want to talk about it” Oh Greg you wondrous human

The house! Haven’t seen it in ages

So Greg probably mobilized the gems into cheering Steven up. They DO notice & care

lol Garnet

They try and its precious after what felt like long empty eps in which its just Steven and his thoughts, playing the “responsible” role

“a projection of the self compared to the intended delivery of the writers” lol Best joke in ages and i dont even like meta jokes that much

Ronaldo has never been so relatable

“Cool Ranch”

Steven is RLY feeling those angsty teenage years atm not too long ago he would have been super excited about this

Same observation as with Roses’ scraps I guess

And its painful because its a logical consequence of what he’s been through but on the other hand the wonder and appreciation were always what we loved about Steven?

Now he’s even dismissing extra info 

PD and everyone else’s past selves just drooping as the explanation is cut off tho

I guess he’s trying hard to be mature about it and accept it; Demanding xplanations would contain a morself of curiosity or accusation

But II wanted to here, stevieboy

Its rly heartbreaking how different hes acting from... “his usual self”? IDK man maybe its jut the adult-er version of him which is not what I’d want it to be but it could nonetheless be true

OHH and now it gets RLY RL again

The parenting conversations, Greg being all out of his depht and yet very much worried for Steven’s wellbeing

Pearl continues to have some particular hangup about the PD situation

Pearl as the most rooted in homeworld society is surely not helping, portraying it as a “not that bad “ question & still believing in some of the mysticoism of their society even if she’s rejected the beliefs themselves

Now we KNOW there’s a secret there

But alas, Steven was dealing with a way more humany-teenagery problem there...

Baby’s first breakup

Human Dad to the rescue!

Aand at long last ther’s some adressing of the whole thing in a holistic way that separating it into “gem stuff and human stuff” would not have accomplished

And off COURSE it was ronaldo

the best ep so far

aww family cuddles

lets hope that was an actual shooting star and not the incomming diamonds

ep 4

lol dat grungey morning sequence esp the minimalistic ear

And using the kitchen sink b/c Dot lives in the bathroom now

The Amethyst approach to music

Aaand of course Zuke couldn’t help piling on the breakup aesthetic even though the last ep was going a different direction?? IDK man

But Dotty listening to sad music when sad is very relatable and yet more proof that wre long lost soul sisters

Was she holed up in there during the vacation tho? I guess those conversations happened offscrean to preserve the feeling of isolation in Steven’s Pov

“Uuuugh...” DAT Face too too memetastic not to laugh 

I think I would ignore this if the knowledge of the backstage drama and agenda pushing didn’t leave a bad taste in my mouth 

And I mean look at that relatable overdramatic grean bean the whole sequence is weirdly perf

“Whats the poooint...”

I felt compelled to admire this magnificence several times over

The unhelpful purple has now graduated to agressively tryng too hard purple 

I love how Amethyst wants to go revisit & reframe everything now that she’s gotten this different POv on it and feels better about herself

“You can make us feel dumb by telling us stuff we don’t know!” She knows Peridot well XD Such wholesome friendship

Dotty doesn’t even deny it

Gotta love Amethyst

Aww its that train from back then!

Even the musical allusion

“Very convenient Warp Pad”

My lil purple has come so far

So apparently “-”Dot” is canon now

Oh. OHHH

Right we saw that Dot was actually proud of her job but I guess this is also a reframing for HER something SHE now views differently. It used to be like the birds & bees for her, but now... 

Thank you , day saving flower

WH0000T I thought the plot had forgotten about Peridots “renewable energy” pland she mentioned to YD and how this could revolutionize the Gempire but it seems Dotty is going to DO SCIENCE again

You know shes down when not even the traktor RLy cheers her up

Steven & amethyst tho

This whole project holds a deep almost “spiritual” significance for all three of them when you think about it, a kind of purification

the shovel thing was so cute

Super soakers!

The Ame-Copter is back

Loving this ep

Stylish Garden flamingo

The hyping is already making me think it didn’t take; Dot was right that they should hve analyzed the flower first

Called it. 

Ohh... didnt see THAT coming tho

Its like a corrupted anglerfish

I wonder if that used to be an amethyst

Ohh its a surprise smokie ~<3

not an amethyst maybe but purplish enough to be another former resident

Of course it wasn’t going to work overnight nothing ever does

but hey, hugs~

and perhaps thats just the setup for an ongiong plot arch still this could have used more of a sciencey approach

ep 5

Well judging by the title sadie is prolly heartbroken too

She prolly is but shes holdig up well enough

And hey at least Steven seems to be feeling better

Perhaps hiring a new donut boy would not have been that bad of an idea

This is surprisingly real

The whole crappy american millenial job situation

Steven is... REALLY bad at this

Lets appreciate that Sadie had a surprisingly deep character arc just trickling there heding everyting away so her mom don’t hijack it, pining away after an asshat to an unhealthy degree until she eventually just stopped obsessing over it all and letting her own self shine?

Also nice treatise on the process of art

ep 6

Soo... Kevin’s back? That sounds... interesting... especially in the light of the whole breakup situation, he was usually Stevonnies designated rival but they`re unlikely to be in the ep

Is he gonna try to recruit Steven to dudebroism in his moment of weakness? That sounds interesting bc as much as pickup artists, MRM scum redpillers ETC are frightening evil, to stop them one has to understand how they spread and what they often do is prey on young men with low self esteem - young men who don’t feel very privileged, are desperatre unhappy youngsters etc so they make themselves sound reasonable at first (at least to those who dont recognize their sales pitch/ rhetoric) to exploint natural curiosity, skepticism and a tendency to support supressed truth to then feed a person all sort of bullshit untill they blame women for all their problem - actually racists and other hategroups are much the same

They offer group identity, recognition & confidence to those who dont have it - So when it comes to fighting them, “immunizing” young boys against their salespitches with information and knowledge is just as important as fighting its most malignant supporters if not more but that doesn’t rly get as much attention bc bashing obvious evil people is satisfying and people who have been hurt & traumatized and had real harm done to them may find it hard to sympathize with young men... clearly its not the victims who need to do the work but society and those who raise & educate boys at every step of the way if society could be arsed to care

Ehh I should probably stop ranting and watch the actual episode

Should you really be giving Kevil your number?

“my crush will be at the party” is such an old cliche so the question is how exactly theyll subvert it

Unknown faces all around, prolly the less friendly side of town god job at establising the uneasy ambiance

Is that a BREAKUP HAIRCUT?

Ohhh the music slowing down the background fading away

So steven is one of those ppl who just keeps texting the void and connie is one of those pp who don’t

And I’ve been in this situation and im with connie here like if the relationship is not working because of legitimate reasons, are those reasons going to go away just because you cave and text the person back? Why would anyone keep texting like the problems will magically go away, or text back, what could the result be other than causing you both more pain

Like I understand it ttheoretically in a “humans process feelings differently” kind of way and im not bashing on Steven here but ill never understand-understand it

Conclusion: again this show gets real 

Kevin is such a platonical ideal of an asshat, you almost gotta admire the purity of his asshattery

Case in point he cannot understand the friendship component

Meanwhile of course conny has been having her own private freakout

And they didnt go the cliched angle of forcing the fusion right then & there

So I suppose this made sense as a miniarc and had some pretty real moments & necessary explorations though I do want to get back to the plot now

Soo lets see whom the fandom has decided to hate and distort THIS time...

[lebilliam]

Hey sirmcartney asked me to do this

I’d rather be doing this over my school ish anyways :’)

Ask me some questions!

3 Fears: Ghosts :((( , fat insects , failing stuff 

3 things I love: i fukin love talking to my friends and hanging out , listening to music that i havent heard in forever, and that post workout glow 

2 turns on: i can send them memes :) , i can laugh and not give a heck with them

2 turns off: i cant send them memes :( , being mean to me (im sensitive af)

My best friend: zoo wee this is a hard one but id prob say logan or brian or adam or morgan or alex. take ur pick. (morgan and logan tbh)

Sexual orientation: str8 

How tall am I: 5′9″ according to my ID

What do I miss right now: intimacy

Favourite color: orange!!!!!

Do I have a crush: ;)

Favourite place: currently ive been digging the imagination room

What am I listening to right now: affection // Cigarettes After Sex

Shoe size: it varies on the brand but normally 9.5 or 10? idk im bad

Eye color: brown

Hair color: black 

Meaning behind my URL: its bc i wanted a recognizable alias that i could use across platforms 

Favourite song: i always say liztomania by phoenix

Favourite band: Maroon 5 fanboy here but ive been a fan of Cigarettes after Sex for a while now

How I feel right now: STRESSED and ANGERY

Someone I love: myself (kinda)

My current relationship status: 

My relationship with my parents: we dont really talk that much but good i think?

Favourite season: oof i like the heat but im gonna say winter bc i get to be emo and i can go walk on fresh snow 

Tattoos and piercing i have: none atm

Tattoos and piercing i want: hmmm idk if i want anything big but i always thought the track shoe/wing thing would be nice

The reasons I joined Tumblr: all my friends had it so i thought i would be cool if i made one

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: i have gotten some before and i appreciate them 

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: the last person i texted? surprisingly no

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: depends if i shower but i can get going in ~4-5 minutes

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: nope!

Where am I right now?: imagination room!

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? hell yea who doesnt

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? not atm im chillin #dormlife

Am I excited for anything?: excited for the weekend

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? hell to the yea of course

How often do I wear a fake smile?: everytime i feel weird around people idk usually i wouldnt say i smile that much unless im gooning 

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: I believe that the world will introduce me to people when i need it (lame answer: idk anyone but maybe like my friends’ friends)

What do I think about most? this week it’s been the french essay i had to write but overall i think about being appreciated 

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? id be on both sides if i could but if i had to pick one id totally be in front

What was the last lie I told? oh haha i dont know (but i do know)

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? PHONE CALLS

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Hell yea what else am i supposed to be afraid of. aliens are super cool man of course i think theyre real

Do I believe in magic? NOPE! but theres been some crazy magic tricks where i almost believe but then i see the “how it’s done” video for it

Do I believe in luck? hell yea of course! why would it not exist? 

What’s the weather like right now? ughgh it’s disappointingly hot 

What was the last book I’ve read? Huis Clos by Jean Paul Sartre (i had to read it for class but it really is a great work of art)

Do I have any nicknames? B, Lil B(ones i have heard the most) Billiam, Broletariate Biu (my mom calls me that), (billy bear is an old one and i dont know why they ever used it in the first place), goomph, toad, frog, ugly ass, nerd, dork, dingus

Do I spend money or save it? i spend it haha kms i really need to save more efficiently

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: nope just tried and looked like a fool

Favourite animal? oof i want to say dogs but thats basic but dogs are so loving like i dont get it how do they do it

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: i was up and i was emo. jk i was hanging out and watching bad Freshman xxl cyphers

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Get Low by lil Jon or Faded (the remix) or change your mind by the killers. im gonna go ahead and say that change your mind gets my shit hyped UP

What is my favorite word? satiation

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: idk if im going to be honest i dont really use tumblr that much for personal blogs but i do love foodporn, til, ruined childhood

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? love each other. 

Do I have any relatives in jail? i dont think so? oh jk theyre not really a relative but they’re a close family friend’s relative

What is my current desktop picture? FUKIN FUNCTIONAL GROUPS THAT I DONT EVER KNOW OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH THERES A TEST IN 10.25 HOURS

Had sex? ye

Bought condoms? ye

Gotten pregnant? cant really say that i have :p

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes

Had job? yep! summer job at the zoo which was cool af

Smoked weed? once or twice 

Smoked cigarettes? never.nope.disgusting

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? i tried being vegetarian for a bit but then i wasnt eating enough red meat

Been overweight? as a kid i feel like i was overly big but now that i think about it i dont think i was fat

Been underweight? definitely

Gotten my heart broken? homeboy who hasnt?

Been to prom? yeep

Been in airplane? yeep

Learned another language? heck yes! english kek and im in the process of learning french. i tried learning lithuanian after a life changing experience. 

Wore make up? surprisingly no

Dyed my hair? nope! i dont want to bleach my hair

Had a surgery? uhhh does laser surgery count? bc ive had 3 so far and i might have more

Met someone famous? every time i walk by a mirror ;) jk i met the senator of WA and the mayor of Tacoma a couple times

Stalked someone on a social network? pfft hell yes

Been fishing? yep! it’s always an experience

Been rejected by a crush? rip me yes

What do I want for birthday? i want to have a nice get together with friends where we do stuff that i dont have to pay for (but i dont think thats how life works anymore)

Do I like my handwriting? I love it in pen and when i hit my ecrivain stride, but otherwise when my hands get sweaty its just a fkin mess 

Where do I want to live when older? i’ve always said paris, but zaragoza spain wouldnt be too bad!

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yea boi

What I’m really bad at: believing in myself 

What my greatest achievments are: i was a smart kid in elementary! i got some awards for getting good grades and i went to a competitive thing for piano once and i placed a couple times in some random races ive run

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: oof i dont want to really relive that experience

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: id ask /r/personalfinance 

What do I like about myself: id like to think im gaining/losing healthy weight

My closest Tumblr friend: on tumblr?? idk i said i dont really use tumblr for friends but i’d probably say memequeen or sirmccartney

Any question you’d like? when am i going to meet up with my RA? no one knows idk i forgot about our meeting and hes really cool about rescheduling so i might do it this saturday

Are you outgoing or shy? it really depends on how im feeling but id like to think im pretty outgoing!

What kind of people are you attracted to? NICE FRIENDly people who can laugh. laughing is important to me

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? personally i think yes

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nope!

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? @thoseloverseyes most def

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “haha and then what ;)” jk it says” thank”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? boy oh boy am i not ready for this question. Id think “this love, maroon 5″, humble (its a bop), “the air that i breathe, “open - rhye”, and rollin by calvin harris or this house by japaense breakfast idk the last one always changes

Do you like it when people play with your hair? i had a weird experience once but idk i think im willing to let other people touch my hair? not a fan 

Do you think there is life on other planets?of course. this topic is not up for debate. just bc our defition of life has not been found that does not mean that there is not life in other places where we are either 1) not looking or 2) life that we cant recognize due to our weird weird obsession with water like life does not have to use water as a conduit for essential functions

well that was fun and id say it took some time. it def got me feeling better about life. 7.8/10 i would do it again but im sweaty af from this hot ass room

peace!

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.