#*painful realization of how unfunny it was to say that*

[dethbug]

does your mood ever just get completely ruined remembering every embarrassing thing youve ever said

[vovoloyo]

That Should Be Me

✧. ┊ g/n. reader x goo

✧. ┊  synopsis : ̗̀➛ goo is jealous because you and gun are being close

✧. ┊ warnings: angst

✧. ┊ notes: goo angst is so real, this is inspired by the goo panel in the latest chapters. n also ignore the poorly edited header pls, thx

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩

If Goo were to describe the relationship between you and him, he would say: that everyday was like a vivid dream, filled with laughter and jokes that the both of you exchange in turns of another. How you would jokingly hit him for his unfunny jokes, how smiley you looked when he gifted you something, how it felt like he was the only one to make you laugh. It made him realized that, he wouldn't trade anything in the world for this relationship. He made a silent promise to remove anything that would interfere with this relationship.

But, he wouldn't have known this promise would be shattered as soon as he introduced you to his other close friend: Gun.

As each day passes, it seemed like you and Gun were getting closer and closer; from only meeting up whenever the trio is together to grabbing coffee with just you and Gun. The more Goo realized this special relationship he had with you is getting fainter by each day, it made him feel more helpless; considering his dear connection to Gun and you.

While his overthinking abused his mind, he didn't even realize that you and Gun were calling him from the front while he was walking from the back. From his perspective, your teasing smile next to Gun's tall figure looking back at him would create a lump stuck in his throat. He can't help but awkwardly smile back.

Several weeks has gone by, Goo finds himself doing things by himself. Activities that he used to do with you by his side, now without you by his side, his side feels cold. He’s at the arcade, the go-to place for when you guys hung out. Why was he there? Was it to reminisce what you two used to have? Does he miss you? He’s confused, unsettled, and hurt.

And was it fate when he turned to his side by reflex and saw Gun with you playing his favorite claw machine? Goo’s heart skipped a beat and his whole body freezes. His eyes moving rapidly, quickly analyzing and taking all the details, Gun staring at you with adoration, you smiling and giggling while holding the big plushie you had yearned for, and frowned when Goo had failed to capture it many times. And lastly, their pinkish blush on their faces.

Next thing he knew, he’s walking, no, running out of that arcade with this lingering pain in his chest. His heart is pounding, his thoughts are racing, and he’s running out of breath. “What’s this feeling?”, he thought while almost choking “what am i doing?”, he couldn’t think of anything else. That one moment of you and Gun together keeps replying in his head, then a tear runs down Goo’s cheek.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩

[noellefan101]

Could I request the Sumeru boys with a super doting s/o who loves to cook for them? In her eyes, nothing breaks her heart more than seeing the boys hungry and tired.

Characters: Cyno, Tighnari, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Wanderer(, + Albedo) x female reader(i didn´t know if you wanted gn or female, but you said 'her' so i just guessed, i´ll change it if you want(its not really there anyway))

Summary: Them with a reader that likes to cook/what you do when they come home tired/hurt

Warnings: kissing, maybe ooc, not proof-read, hugging from behind,

Note: thank u for requesting anon, i loved the idea, if i missed anyone pls let me know. sorry i was a "little" late though(i also tried smt new, hope you like it). i also realized that i like when people hug me from behind vize versa(someone pls hug me, omg), i luv youuuuu

Cyno

he had just come home after a tiring mission out in the desert, and he looked worn out, with bruises here and there, and bags under his eyes. you almost cried at his state when you saw him, and immediately got some bandages in case he was badly hurt. but after you gave him the bandages you went back to cooking, you couldn't let it burn after all. but then told him to sit in the kitchen so you can help him while cooking.

he was confused at first but just went with it and sat on one of the kitchen chairs, the smell of your cooking comforting him more and more as he got closer to the kitchen. he almost forgot how calming your presence was, but its a happy surprise every time. he always loved your cooking so him coming home to you cooking his favorite meals in the kitchen, ready to greet him with one of your brightest smiles, it was like seeing the sun for the first time in months, even though it had only been a week.

knowing your love language was cooking, he always accepted your food, wanting to show that he liked when you loved him, and that he loves you too.

"cyno? you ok?" he got caught off guard when you spoke out to him, he didn't realize he had been staring at you, and immediately apologize. "o-oh yeah im fine sweetie, sorry" "hm, its fine, dinner´s ready" you smiled at him, and he felt like he fell in love all over again. but realizing he didn't have time to space out again (tho he wanted to) he just started eating. enjoying the food you made just for him, while thinking about when he finally would get the guts to propose.

Tighnari

it had been a long day in the forest, along with most of the trainees not listening to his lectures and some just strait up ignoring him(not Collei ofc, your sweet baby child, (with Cyno as the unfunny uncle)). in short, he had a really bad day and had little to no energy left.

but he didn´t even realize he was so tired until he practically saw your heart break in half in your eyes when you saw him. it really pained him to see you like that, little did he know you hurt more. you were almost done cooking when he got home and unfortunately couldn´t tend to him right now(+ Nari would scold you if left it alone, and tended to him instead). so you just asked him to walk over to you instead and gave him a little kiss on the cheek to hopefully restore some of his energy.

it did help him a little bit with calming down, you always did, but this time he may have gotten a little greedy and went in to give you a kiss on the lips in return. "Tighnari, not right now. do you want dinner or not, im sure Collei wants some" he laughed a little at your words(and at your red cheeks) "of course i´d like some dinner, Collei as well. but cant i kiss my beautiful girlfriend/partner" you looked back at him, glaring a little.

"fine, but- mhmph" your sentence got interrupted by another kiss from him. when you pulled away your cheeks were completely red, "Nari, stop that, at least eat first" he looked at you in amusement, "fine i´ll eat first" he ended the sentence with a sigh. "good you better, and after you need sleep, you have bags under your eyes" you went back to cooking. "sure, whatever you say gorgeous" he looked at you(with hearts in his eyes) and you looked back at him "thank you, handsome"

Alhaitham

he had been reviewing some scholar's papers today, and it was definitely not his favorite. some lacked the correct knowledge about the right things to focus on, some the papers lacked effort, and some couldn´t even be called proper papers. yeah, he didn´t have a very good day, some random guy even dared demand a meeting when he clearly was very busy doing something else.

when he opened the door to your home, he was instantly met with the delicious smell of your cooking. but it seemed like you didn´t hear him since you weren´t running to him like you normally would, or maybe you were just too focused on cooking. but that didn´t matter to him right now because he, for once, just wanted to have you in his arms. when he walked into the kitchen, and catching you by surprise at the same time, he only walked up to you and hugged you from behind, burying his face into your neck.

you didn´t look at him, but if you did you´d see just how tired he really was, you were just a little too focused on cooking it seemed. he just stood there hugging you for a bit, looking at whatever you were doing, though he didn´t really pay attention, and he almost fell asleep right then and there if you hadn´t called out to him. "Haitham, i´m almost done cooking, can you put plates on the table" you took him out of his thoughts and even surprised him a little, "o-oh, yeah i can do that, love".

you looked over at him, only now realizing how tired he was "Actually i can do that, you don´t have to. just go sit down" he looked at you "are you-" "yes im sure. Go sit down" you looked him in the eyes like a mother did when she was angry at her kid, "of course" he looked away from you. "thank you, i love you" "...love you too"

Kaveh

yes, he has been working non-stop on this project from a client. it wasn´t even due til in a month or so, but still, there he was in his office looking over the many sketches that got declined. some were too detailed some too simple, and there was the ones where the client didn´t like the style, even though it was exactly what he asked for... he could go on for hours and hours about how frustrated he was.

you were just going into his office to check on him and to give him some water, but when you saw how tired and hungry he looked (he hadn't eaten in, like, hours)you quickly gave him the water and went out to the kitchen before he even realized you were there. you started finding the ingredients even before you fully entered the kitchen, already knowing the recipe since you´ve made it so many times for him.

an hour later it was already done and you were about to get a plate and give it to him in his room, but it seemed like the smell of the food brought him to you instead. because there he stood, behind you hugging your waist and now that you took a better look at his face, your heart broke a little. he looked so tired and half dead if you were to ask Alhaitham.

you quickly gave him the plate and dragged him out into the dining room, "you need to stop forgetting to eat, mister" it almost scared him with how harsh your voice was at that moment. "-m sorry" you looked at him, your eyes softening a little this time " it´s fine, I'm just worried about you y´know" he laughed a little "i know, i love you" you looked over at him, a bit sharper this time "love you too, idiot".

Wanderer

He doesn't need to eat, he´s a puppet, you know that. yet you still make him food every time he comes home from classes at the Akademiya, when he looks extra tired from working on his thesis last night therefore he didnt get any sleep. he doesnt understand why you do this for him, why you make him tea all the time when he didn't even ask. he doesnt understand you.

But his heart still beat in his chest, despite not being there, when he saw your pained face as he walked into your shared home. his tired state for once showing in his face. he had been going a little too overboard with a thesis and also didn't realize the time until Buer came to get him/since you were worried about him, in your mind/. and then sent him home, both to his liking and his dismay.

you practically ran over to him, and then dragged him into the kitchen to then also force him to sit down and explain himself. he may have memories of being in the Fatui, but he still thought you like this was scarier. your normally sweet and kind personality gone, turned into something reminding him of La Signora and The Knave(+himself(or even Dottore)).

let's just say it wasn't the nicest experience but you eventually calmed down a little, the worry now showing more than when he walked into your shared home. "you need to stop overworking, Kuni", he gave out a sigh at your antics "i know, I'm sorry for worrying you" he mumbled the last part, and if you hadn´t been right next to him you wouldn´t have heard it. "well, now you need to eat, you cant say no this time. oh yeah, i´ll also make you some tea if you´d like" he was glad to see that you were back to normal "Thanks, I´d like some tea, i guess". you laughed a little "of course, coming right up, now eat" he shivered a little at your sharp tone when you said the last part " *sigh* fine".

Extra; Albedo

its not like he wanted to worry you, he was just a little too invested in the experiment he was working on, in Dragonspine no less. so he ended up forgetting to stop and go home and instead worked himself to near death(who doesn´t, right). and when you went to check on him he didn´t even notice you, so you decided to surprise him in a hug from behind, while being careful not to ruin anything that was in front of him.

he doesn´t hate it when you surprise him, oh no, you just caught him off guard. and he definitely didn´t expect you to visit him today, but he enjoyed you being here and hugging him. he didn´t realize he had been lost in thought while staring at you til you asked him if he was okay, and to be fair he wasn´t really ok, but he said yes anyway.

"are you sure?" the question caught him off guard for the second time that hour, " *sigh* to be honest, no im not sure" he turned around and hugged you back. "are you hungry?! i can cook something if you´d like..." you looked at his face, there were bags under his eyes and he didn´t look as pretty as he normally did(he still looked pretty tho/im so very not normal abt this man/) "... you look tired, bedo. i can cook you something and then you need to sleep" you looked at him again, this time you looked more serious.

"but-" you stared at him sharply, " *sigh* -fine, I´ll eat and then sleep, but only if you do too" you smiled brightly at him "deal". you then untangled yourself from his arms and ran over to your bag to get your spices, you then started finding the eatable ingredients you have stored in his lab. after you forced made him eat something, you dragged him to bed. the experiment can wait anyway.

thank you for reading, had a lot of fun writing this so hope you enjoyed, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[meldingintheunderdark]

Halsin, fatherhood and his ability to hurt

Unpopular opinion: any post mentioning Halsin having a plethora of biological children makes me feel queasy. And I say this when I hc Sszazar will bear Halsin's kid because the need to raise a far better daughter than Orin for Bhaal, then just to raise a daughter for himself, was the pivotal point in his filial faith as the Dark Urge.

How would Halsin take care of such a huge family? How would he avoid neglecting his children? If the childbearers are present too, how does he communicate with them to co-parent? How would he create a positive environment between his bio kids and the orphans without favoritism?

I know Daddy Halsin is a meme, however the title he loves so dearly is terribly heavy with responsibilities. In my opinion, as Halsin is in game, he will neglect the orphans until he realizes that it's simply impossible to be Daddy Halsin. It may take a day or a week till he's dead tired and ready to abandon the concept of a traditional family with one strong and loving parental figure. Art Cullagh writes on “[...] the children of all ages in Halsin's care”. It seems Halsin is indeed the sole caregiver. Obviously, nine whole wagons of children need far more than Daddy Halsin telling them stories. They need daddies, mommies, guardians, caregivers. They need many adults. The kids who lost their parents also need to grieve. I cannot believe every single child is calling him Daddy as if their parents did not die so recently and/or they don't have any trauma regarding their parents or the concept of a parental figure... or that every single child loves Halsin. Sometimes, personalities just don't match.

So, to add a lot of biological children to these nine whole wagons of kids... I guess I don't like this headcanon because it implies Halsin is downright irresponsible. Bearing and birthing a child are difficult and dangerous. If he's the one with a bun in the oven, it means he's willing to put his body through such an ordeal without reserve, over and over again. Halsin isn’t dumb. He's a healer. He knows firsthand that something natural can maim or kill. He's a druid. He knows the strain people put on nature. I can hardly imagine him spawning kids left and right without a care in the world just because he can.

Nine whole wagons of children... It’s already so many orphans. Hence my belief he will neglect them at first, overjoyed as he is to be Daddy Halsin, blinded by his title, but then he will quickly understand he must raise them alongside many other adults and work together as a tight-knit community. He won't be their only dad. Maybe he will feel jealous of the other daddies, wounded even. Maybe he will worry a lot about the quality of his parenting. Maybe he will hardly digest the fact not every kid he saved will love him as a father. Undeniably, caring for the orphans will also make him think about his own family and the pain and joy associated with these bittersweet memories.

Raising children is never easy. I do dislike headcanons describing Halsin and fatherhood as smooth sailing. Perhaps I'm simply an unfunny person entrenched in my own traumas, thus I cannot see Halsin as a wonderful, confident, faultless dad. Furthermore, kids aren't sharing one mind. Like adults, they are extremely different from each other. These kids went through war, abandonment and extreme poverty too. It's unrealistic to imagine they would all adore Halsin or even that living together with so many others won't have any negative consequences whatsoever.

I must admit the way Halsin is represented with this headcanon, and some others, bothers me. He's too perfect. His traumas, depression and grief tend to be acknowledged, but not his ability to hurt people. His actions hurt the Grove and the tieflings deeply. He tries to be good, however he isn't a saint either. He can and does hurt himself and others while attempting to do good. Certainly, it’s completely unintentional when others are involved. Halsin isn’t cruel. He’s a good man at heart, yet he’s flawed.

My English fails me. What I’m trying to say is that Halsin is so often framed in an extremely positive light in game and in the headcanons I read here, especially when the scenarios are about children. I truly understand writing on potentially triggering themes is not a good experience, to say the least. Nevertheless, writing Halsin as a good man who can do no harm to anyone he loves/likes does him a great disservice. He did hurt his druids and the tieflings he sheltered indirectly because he threw himself body and soul into his long-lasting obsession. So self-sacrificing he tends to forget the world around him. Once again, I understand the need to have a comfort character who is soft, caring, hot, who suffers but accepts help from his loved one... and yet, I also don’t.

In the end, the problem is rooted deep in my interpretation of Halsin. The very same lines don’t resonate with me the same way they do with other players, as does everything else in our world. But positive only Halsin is overwhelmingly represented, I honestly wonder if I'm too obtuse. People seem to see hope and joy when he talks about the children whereas all I can see is the damage he will cause temporarily because he’s too eager to realize his dream, too focused on a somewhat traditional family structure with a single parent, too inexperienced. Painful moments before peace and happiness. He doesn’t mention other settlers as caregivers. Moreover, the commune represents such a logistical nightmare. He also runs back to Thaniel’s realm without decompressing or processing his own problems, his new romance in a long while, their life-threatening adventures, etc.

It's the hill I’m willing to die on. Halsin is kind, but he can hurt people. He will neglect the kids because he cannot physically and emotionally cater to their every need. Of course, he will correct his mistakes in a heartbeat. This one-dimensional Halsin shining like a beacon of light in the darkness is dull. It’s so often about his kindness/love in the fandom, sometimes his pain. A person who hurts someone else unintentionally is not instantaneously evil. Halsin is not evil if he hurts the kids because he cannot give each of them enough attention while he is trying to take care of them with all his heart. His ability to hurt gives him depth as much as love, gentleness, selflessness.

Once again, it's all about our personal preferences, I get it. It isn't a big deal. It's merely isolating to have such an important school of thought about Halsin dominating his tags. I would love to read stuff about Halsin frustrated because a teenager keeps running away from the commune. Halsin crying because he can hear a child repeatedly having night terrors. Halsin shouting because he is at his wits’ end, scaring them, then agonizing over his mistake, clueless how to mend things. Halsin having no more libido because fatherhood and the commune are so demanding, and not feeling alright about its absence. Halsin at loss with a kid who isn't like others, unable to interact with them the same way. Halsin distraught that a group of orphans has stopped calling him daddy, then envious because they call another settler daddy. Ashamed of his envy. Halsin being unfair when he thinks he’s being fair. Halsin, who is so modest, too modest, subconsciously teaching the children to be humble, too humble, then realizing they’re becoming their harshest critics, like he is with himself. Trying, sometimes failing, occasionally hurting himself and others, then trying again to be better and do better. The fact he's 350 years old doesn't mean he has nothing to learn anymore. He says so himself.

One can love intensely, strive to be kind, and still hurt people unintentionally. Halsin is no exception.

[heesulovebot]

i just finished eps 7 + 8 and just some quick thoughts:

i knew i was coming into pain but them gaslighting us for almost 20 mins tryna make us think jihyun had d worded............... werner du pussies i’m under ur bed 🔪

aeri willing to throw hands for her bestie is such a mood if i didn’t know she was from seoul i’d say she was from the streets of daegu yoongi was from dsfjndskfn

tbh......... the scene of taehyung getting his shit rocked by jaewon was cut tew short for my liking :// like i wanted jaewon to WAIL on a bitch i had my popcorn rdy and everything 😭😭😭

like i get why jaewon is avoiding jihyun and retreating into himself further but.... it still hurts :(( 

ok i know y’all found junpyo annoying first few eps but i always liked him and these episodes he SHONE!!!!! JUNPYO MY SWEET BABY!!!!! like his and jihyun’s friendship runs so deep they’re literally brothers the way he took care of jihyun throughout this whole thing :(((( also when he chews his lil snacks he’s so cute :(((( 

& I ADORE SAJANG-NIM when she called herself noona later i yelled they’re all so cute!! love the country bumpkin solidarity now that she’s adopted junpyo as well dkjfnk (or more like he barged in and never left loool)

ok i do have criticism for this week and: what the fUCK was the point of that class presentation scene with the kid in drag????????? like there was absolutely NO reason for it narratively, it was just—yet again—placing queer femininity as the butt of the joke. and then it got WORSE like it was already such an unfunny moment in the classroom (when i said i loved sassy gay and bitchy bi besties i didn’t mean like this 🥲) but they continued this already unfunny ‘joke’ outside and i was just cringing the entire time. not even t8s is free from harmful stereotypes, i fear 😔

anyways: jihyun coming to the school violence hearing or w.e it’s called and saving his man iktr 😌

and onto my favourite scene this week: that coming out scene?????? THE WAY I HELD MY BREATH WHEN JUNPYO WAS READING THE TEXTS AND HIS FACE DROPPED WHEN HE REALIZED WHO THEY WERE FOR... but junpyo sweetie i never doubted you I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES WHEN JUNPYO SAID IDC IF U LIKE GUYS OR GIRLS HOW COULD U KEEP THIS FROM ME but ofc he didn’t stay mad and he looked genuinely SO happy for jihyun THE WAY HE HUGGED HIM AND GIGGLED ABOUT HIS CRUSH AAAAAAAAAH also i did the math and junpyo and jihyun have been besties since they were SIX like...... that bond truly runs so deep i hope now that jihyun is coming into himself as a person he’s more open with junpyo now i love them sm :(💕

& JIHYUN RLLY SAID: I’M GONNA GET MY MAN BACK IKTR!!!!!!! 

eunji.......... girl....... *nella rose voice* are you not eMBARRASSED? anyways jihyun ate her UP

that rooftop ending scene..... guess i’ll die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯      

[rockscanfly]

drunk, bitter-hearted thoughts re: OFMD cancellation below the cut.

Maybe it’s just that I’ve got terminal mean old bitch disease but describing OFMD as a long-lived fandom is. Unfathomable. To me. It was around for less than two years, y’all.

Yeah parts of it (honestly the hiatus fan content plus the first three episodes of season 2) re-wrote my brain for a while by fulfilling a primal need for an unresolved/unrequited long-term relationship between an unpleasant workaholic and an unhinged, demanding demagogue (Ed/Izzy) to project my emotional breakdown re: work onto—

but, like. It was two seasons. Pretty much a flash in the pan, timescale wise. I have fandoms old enough to drink that have been dead long enough to have a driver’s permit that grab me around the psycho-sexual throat every five years like clockwork.

In the words of the American Songbook, it was great fun, but it was just fun. The reason it was fun is because it was always just bad enough writing to leave gaps that fans could fill. It did some good shit with queer joy, but it was always a show aimed production-wise at a wider audience.

they were never going to commit to the bit in regards to exploring codependency and abuse, or the impacts of coming of age in a violence-oriented homosocial hierarchy in the age of empire. The height of the actual show was a literal fever dream of a mutually assisted suicide scene between two characters who then spend maybe 15 minutes of screen time together following the most dramatic moment of the whole series. It was a show that inherently flinched from actual catharsis because in its heart it can’t allow for real ugliness

OFMD ended for me, personally, when Edward delivered his half-assed non-apology with that stupid bell around his neck. It was a moment of flat-falling attempted comedy that fundamentally undermined every bit of catharsis and pain that came before it. It was also the moment when I realized that the show itself was never going to fulfill the potential of its characters in a direction I could find personally satisfying because, inherently, it’s a show written in the wrong genre to take the characters that direction

I knew in episode five that Izzy hands was going to die. I didn’t anticipate how little it would matter. Him dying with no consequence and less resolution provided me the post-nut clarity to realize I really didn’t like much of Season 2. It didn’t manage to be funny or charming the way Season 1 did. The poly stuff was hollow compared to the revelation that was Jim’s S1 arc. Our pirate queen got to a person for maybe 30 actual minutes in total, between deeply weird and unfunny scenes of Ed and Stede failing to have an arc. The writers have no fucking clue who Ed and Stede want to be when they grow up. S1 was propelled by two men running as fast as possible away from themselves—S2 was propelled by not much of anything, beyond some plot device bullshit with an inherently tired and uninteresting villain.

I do not think season 3 was going to be any better

I hope every cast member in OFMD gets more work than they can say yes to. I can’t say I’m sad it won’t be on a third season of a show that has no idea what it wants to say. Farewell, OFMD. Thanks for the characters. You weren’t around long enough to miss.

[louisearabella]

Mourning Ivy: Reflection Paper on the Anthology, “Lockdown Litanies:Countless Untold Stories” an Essay by Arabella Louise Abad

I want to start this reflective essay with a quote that says ‘ You cannot prevent yourself from sadness without preventing yourself from happiness’. Cliche but every joyful moment doesn’t last forever, You’ll have to battle sorrows to protect your happiness.

Be thankful for it, it will serve as your shield from everything that can happen in the future. A firm foundation no one will try to ruin ever again.

As I read the first poem, It proves that everything is temporary and us people tend to try to control that which in reality, it only makes things worse. Pain, trials and suffering is something we can’t command not to come. Something that is attached to us no matter how hard we try to live simpler and stressless. Which reminded me of that song “ Six Degrees Of Separation'' by The script. From its title,it discusses the pains of a person wherein as it gets longer and farther it gets worse. I also came to the realization that everything you go through wouldn’t always go as planned and the way you will live in the situation is what matters and will matter in the future. You cannot change the past but can still do something about what will happen in the future.

We can give everything to someone. We can sacrifice our lives for the people we love. We can do those things just like how the person we love can do it for another person. How the person we want can sacrifice their life for the ones they love. We can give but it's not always, we get. A situation wherein I'll jump for you but would you do the same?,

There’s a jar-like shape in your heart but can I fit in? According to Bruno Mars’ “ Grenade” ‘ You know i’d catch a grenade for you, but you wouldn’t do the same '' It was like living in a parasocial relationship, it was like pining for someone deeply and being with them at the same time.Imagine a marathon where I’ll try to run as fast as I can and win but you’ll still wait for the one who already lost

Many people find their purpose in life in many things and ways. Unexpected or expected. For this poem, A Wonderwall, a lot of fighting and trial and error just like the song “Wonderwall' by Oasis that says “ And maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me cause after all, you’re my wonderwall. The feeling of being included and treated right was emphasized in the poem. Contentment and the love that was so pure that turned the butterflies in the stomach into tiny feet. The freedom that was felt was indescribable though behind those were broken pieces of a woman who tried to seek it from other men. A deeper level of intimate love was expressed through this poem. A deeper meaning to everything, a crystal clear proof to show real affection towards your loved one.

Life can be an unfunny joke sometimes, it prevents us from using shortcuts and pain free ways of living. It will promise us happiness and cut through our souls and body as badly as possible. It will let us experience unbearable pain and have our happy ending. Like the poem Umbilical. The nature of women was to experience pain after pain like an Ivy. It never gets detached, every human being that exists is a product of pain for women. which connects to the song that I picked , “Happiness is a butterfly”by Lana Del Rey. Where it says ‘happiness is a butterfly, try to catch it like every night”. Like a butterfly that is hard to catch is similar to happiness, we don’t get to be very happy with a very little amount of effort.

We make decisions in our life according to what we think is right or what we feel is right but not all the time we get to decide for ourselves. The poem RE: Paper (I’m Red, IMRaD)* is an example of lack of empath. I am sure that those decisions were thought through but there were so many students and family that had burdens regarding that proclamation. There is nothing wrong with aiming for a higher state of education but the lack of capabilities can destroy dreams of young people that had high hopes of finishing their studies early to enable them to bring food for their family, to help the father who has to work double to provide for tuition fees. But still, paying more just for an additional two years that’s not even worth it, imagine the pain. Putting so much effort just to be brought down by group mates that doesn;t take the research seriously, is this reasonable?Which is related to the song The Rare Occasions - Notion .

Everything has an end and that’s for sure, Death. It’s a big deal,how,where you’ll die but the question that matters the most is when. Everyday at least once a day we try to think about that. And being in this cruel world, it's hard to not get that out of our mind. What I thought is more often people ask this question “if i die, do I get to have peace or if I die do I restrict myself from peace?” Not all of us experience the same problems. The weight that we carry in our everyday lives may be light or too much that we can’t handle it anymore. Our mind poisons us if we don't use it properly. It develops scenarios and movies that may live inside of us. Never ever let it get into you. You control it and only you can, which reminded me of the song Demi Lovato - Sober .that states that she’s been thinking about killing herself every time she gets drunk and when alone.

Upon reading the next poem I initially noticed that it’s about a lady that’s going through a tough time alone. All by herself, isolating, couldn’t express herself. With every little inch of her body is detached from freedom. And it's a poem that many people can relate to. For sure, we once tried to solve all of our problems by isolating ourselves and trying to get rid of our emotions. In short, we wanted to give up from everything that’s going around. And the worst part is where we couldn’t explain to other people how we really felt. We couldn’t word out the things that are messing with our mind so we suffer in silence, a deafening silence that hurts every second. And when we free ourselves from that, in a little amount of time and freedom that we try to figure everything out. It feels so overwhelming how mournings turn to laughing and how loneliness turns to solitudity.

Which relates to the song Shawn Mendes - It'll Be Okay - YouTube.

A very common problem among people nowadays is being uncertain of what will happen in the future. The thoughts that kept chasing us like ‘ Am I on the right track?, ‘Will I be okay?’. For this last poem. This is the one that I relate to so much. Having an undesirable past triggers the decision I make everyday. The fear of repeating the same mistakes and experiencing the pain from the past all over again. It explains how we can control our life and as long as there’s tomorrow, there is hope. Another day is a chance to be better. It’s okay not to figure things out right now. Think it through. Everything will be fine. It takes a lot of courage to do those things but in the end it’s still you vs. you. If it feels like you’re being left out by the people around you,It’s fine. We all have the time of our lives and patiently waiting for it will feel 10x better. The last poem feels like the song NEVER Too LATE To START AGAIN - Fearless Soul.

[ilovetheseattlemariners]

Getting cooked

Yes, it's beginning to become that time. Where this peaceful disquietude is reaching its end. Suddenly the world I put on pause and forgot, the world of my first year, is beginning to resume, and I can't really take it, to be honest. It'll continue without me, and while everyone basks in the pleasures I'll be in this purgatory that isn't actually a purgatory except I make it one.

I might not ever see you, coworker S. We had fun, didn't we? We'll last forever, won't we? I asked coworker L if i could work Monday -- not saying that I was asking if we could work monday together, one last time -- and she just laughed me off. Things just work out that way, I suppose.

I keep on thinking about so many of the people I met at the gig. They'll be my life in the following years, at least theoretically. The people at the candy store are already practically gone from my life. I don't know. I want to keep them all. I'm bad at that. You should know that by now.

Will you all promise to keep me somewhere, at least? Somewhere where none of this ever happened. Where we can trust in the past which isn't true yet isn't a lie. Will you give me that, at least?

Mom finally admitted that Dad was committing "emotional abuse" against her. No more insinuations. I don't want to see them both dedicate their lives to each other. It's just sad and trite and painful. And honestly they will because they're Catholics and that's what a bunch of random fucks thousands of years ago decreed before they knew anything about this planet. Like my mom nearly booked a flight for her and my dad to go to New York and silently I was begging her not to because like they don't like each other in the slightest. My dad doesn't even bother pretending anymore. But today she confided in me that she decided not to because she'd just been so unhappy these past few days and like fuck I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had the chance to raise me and my brother as kids and I guess the moment left you and now you're trying your best to tell us its still there when in truth the moment isn't there and in truth we still aren't there. I'm not eight any longer. Sometimes I just can't stand either of them, but its during sobering moments like when my mom picks me up from work and confides in me such poignant and painful moments like that, or when my dad was dropping me off earlier today and he was making corny unfunny banter to make me smile -- and it did make me smile, in a sort of pitying way, that I realize that I will cry and cry and cry and cry when they both die.

And I'm so shit at living life. I still haven't applied for student loan and I'm locked out of getting my ID fixed for the foreseeable future because I can't work a fucking calendar. Honestly I think the most correct viewing of this scenario is that I'm a victim to bureaucracy (I was about to make a comment about how of course bureaucracy is one of those words you can't spell, but I aced my first attempt at spelling it), but I guess one of bureaucracy's tricks is making you feel like it's your fault.

I need to date someone. I think that's the solution. Also mariners won today which makes everything a bit better. I think I played well last night at the gig. I love you.

[ithisatanytime]

if you go back and look, i called out this strickland a long time before the sneako thing, i just see it for what it is, they are putting him over or trying to. we really dont want their heros anymore, we want to wake up to someone making a better world, we all check eagerly, the news, has it started? has someone started it? we all have our own sources so once it starts we know. were weary of all fantasy,

i also realized last night hes doing a don frye impersonation. i will say this both of them are genuinely funny and likable men, don frye and sean strickland are some of the funniest men alive. i was starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel for hotones episodes i hadnt seen yet, i base which episodes i watch on how funny i think the guests are vs how bad i want to fuck the guest, if they are very funny or i really want to do them those are the ones i will watch, i like to see sean evans rizz up my dream girls while they suffer da bomb the low key hottest sauce on the lineup even though technically its number eight on a scale of one to ten spiciest wings in a guantlet of pain, but its an open secret that the eight hot wing is the spiceist and nine and ten are softballs to end the interviews on a high note, but the choice was between, jake gyllenhall tried my best, and that unfunny faggot ed helms, and jake gyllenhall was surprisingly funny

[zachsreaderinserts]

sapnap, dream, tommy, and c! techno x s/o who cried while arguing headcannons

FIRST REQUEST OOGA BOOGA OOGA BOOGA 

also im about to hit 100 followers! thank y’all sm!!!

edit: so uh, i didnt know tommy didn’t like to be written in romantic x readers, that was on me 100% so i changed it to platonic!!

wc: 1,285

SAPNAP

as we all know, sapnap is a little bitch when he’s arguing with someone, compiled with lots of yelling, screaming, and probably physical gestures.

so, it was no surprise that when you had brought up the fact that he had been neglecting his chores around your house, that he retaliated almost instantly

“i’ve been sitting in the office the last few days working! i don’t know what you want from me!”

somehow, with you being you and sapnap being sapnap, the argument escalates really fucking fast

to the point where his voice is starting to get hoarse and you’re pretty much shaking in retaliation, regretting ever bringing up the entire argument

sapnap’s too blinded by his anger to realize that you were not fine and were backing yourself into the dining room table in attempt to seperate yourself from the situation

and when he turned to glare at you and continue his point, he paused when he saw the tears building up in your eyes and the fearful look you had

he dropped the argument almost instantly and darted over to you, holding you by the shoulders. you couldn’t even form any words, just blubbering as he squeezed you close

you apologized for crying, but he didn’t want to hear shit. he felt guilty for letting the argument escalate like that and the both of you said sorry for the entire situation as a whole.

at the end of the day, you still love each other, y’know?

DREAM

dream’s biggest problem when arguing is that he can’t truly decipher what is an insult and what is a light jab to his ego.

it was during a stream that you had made a joke, something about dream resembling his smp! rendition of his character and that irked dream automatically

after the stream, he came into your room and addressed it, but anyone could see how quietly pissed off he was. and already, you were angry because he was angry

so, you bit back. told him that you were sorry about how he felt and how you pressed his buttons, but not sorry for making the joke. it wasn’t meant to be taken the way he did and that was his fault for stewing over it

mans is angry

so, a shouting match starts up, naturally and it gets heated real fucking quick

“you don’t get to decide whether or not i should blow over a joke!”

(wanted to say that in this argument, you’re both valid, but the way you went about it is not)

it gets to the point where dream’s all up in your face, shouting about how annoying it is for you to be making jokes like that and how he found it unfunny and shit.

which isn’t a bad criticism but also, with how he’s yelling it to your face, it hits a little different but not in a good way. you’re practically swallowing back the tears as he keeps ranting about it.

and when he pauses to let you argue back and speak and you respond with a voice crack that gave away how you truly felt. dream looked back over at you to see you wiping at your eyes, trying to push the emotions back

the vibes shift into something calmer, still heated, but not as bad as it was. he walked back to you and hugged you, letting you let all the emotion out.

from then on, you two talked about it quietly and respectfully, making sure to keep the intense emotions on standby.

and hey! you’re still holding his hand by the end of it.

TOMMY

this fucking rat of a man has a hard time trying to keep his emotions on standby and not go ape shit. knowing tommy, it’s probably a longstanding problem that’s been around his entire life

so, you’re pissed at him first for him blowing up your house on the smp. i mean, i can’t blame you, i’d be just as pissed. that house had been around since the beginning and it held everything you worked for on the server

tommy found it dumb that you had such an angry reaction and began to argue back that it truly didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and that you were being out of pocket

“c’mon, you know that i didn’t mean for it to hurt you like this and this isn’t a reaction you should be having.”

he keeps mostly level headed the entire argument, but you can tell by how he’s gritting his teeth and how his eyebrows are furrowed that he’s getting annoyed

and then he raises his voice, the coil keeping his frustration snapping along with it. you’re shocked to say the least and start to feel invalidated for him reacting the way he is. while his frustration is all anger, yours is more sad.

tommy stops his harsh tone when he notices the sorrowful look on your face and reels back, taking control of himself. he says that you two need a moment to recollect so you can discuss this again at a later time

despite the argument still lingering hours later, tommy is just as kind as he was before it, making sure to let you know that he still appreciates you no matter what the situation was

and whenever you did discuss it again, tommy and you made a little system to let him know whenever he took it too far. he felt better knowing that you were no longer upset with him and you feel better knowing that he was willing to try and understand you.

C! TECHNOBLADE

techno is fucking notorious for being an especially condescending little arsehole, it’s canon both in his character and irl

so, he takes on a more emotionless and rough approach at the sign of any sort of criticism. he’d rather you think of him as a bitch than let you see that he was any sort of empathetic.

it was when you got onto him for never sleeping that he showed this side of himself. you couldn’t even see it in his body language that he was upset and that made you angrier.

techno was pissed, 100%, but he wanted the upper hand. he refused to let you see him vulnerable.

“i don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. why can’t you just ignore it?”

he keeps drawing out the arguing, somehow countering your very valid points to about how disorganized or lazy you were. rather than accepting the criticism, he forced it onto you.

and with every point he spoke, you felt your heart hurt just a little more. he was nitpicking at that point and that hurt more than anything else. he knew you felt insecure about certain things and you just couldn’t see why he wasn’t showing the proper emotions in this argument

eventually your mind became so muddled that you were even aware that you were crying. techno immediately stopped talking and stared at you in slight shock. he made you cry.

the voices were quiet, not giving him instructions or advice. he was on his own.

techno marched forward and held your face, wiping away the tears as quickly as they fell. you just looked up at him, showing so much pain, that his expression broke instantly. he looked like he was about to cry at the sight of your crying

you guys never got back to the argument but it was clear that he was sorry for what he had done. every time he came to bed early proved that enough and on those nights, he held you just a little bit tighter.

[hotwings0203]

GOD I JUST READ UR BAKUGOU FIGHTER ONESHOT AND LAKSLAKSSKKAKAA

im in love, its soooo good😭😭😭😭 and i just wanted to ask, maybe if there is a possibility of u writing the second part w smut!👉🏼👈🏼 🥺

u r so talented!!! i love u💕💕💕

Wow fun fact: I actually love you anon

JUST FOR YOU, I SHALL INDULGE!!👆🏽

Pt.1

Tw:noncon, implied death

He was inside you.

He was grunting.

You were the mortar, he was the pestle.

“Fuck,” he pants inside your mouth. “You get turned on this much by watching dweebs like him get slaughtered out there?”

You sob and try futilely to once again lift his weight off of your pinned body, but he merely slaps your bouncing tits.

“Stay still. Don’t fucking move unless you want me to bruise your cervix. But you’d like that, wouldn’t you, you little masochist? Isn’t that why you didn’t try as hard to push your boy toy out of the rink, huh? ‘Cause a slut like you gets off on watching a man like me show everyone whose boss?”

You cry out muffled against his palm after he gives a particularly rabid thrust, making sure to grind his tip against the sides of your gooey walls.

In a moment of savage triumph, Bakugo lets his slobbery tongue lather itself all over your cheeks. He tastes the tears that collect at the sides of your mouth, he tastes the sweat that gathers on your forehead and he swears it tastes like heaven itself.

He pulls back while continuing to pound you into the mattress, and he takes a good long look at you mere inches away from your face.

You’re a mess. Your eyes are rolling to the back of their sockets while your hair is strewn across the pillows, your hands pinned behind your back in an uncomfortable twist from his meaty hands.

He looks rabid almost. His eyes are everywhere, on your red eyes, on your bouncing tits, on the connection from his body to yours.

Your mouth forms an ‘O’ against his sweaty palm, consistently kept open from your moans and pained whimpers.

It’s true that he’s good with his dick, unfortunately all that talk wasn’t just for show. He had something to prove to you, and prove he did.

Or, is currently doing.

“Answer me, slut. Did you like watching me send your little boyfriend to the hospital?”

He uncovers your mouth and permits you to take a wild gasping breath. The rhythm of his hips cease as he waits for you to gather yourself momentarily, but he doesn’t pull out. You are just a pretty cockwarmer for him right now, no need to think that you deserve any more mercy than he’s already giving you.

“‘D-didnt like it. ‘Wanna go home, lemme go, get off of me,” you sob and weakly pull your wrists out of his hold to push him, but with a mean laugh he flips you over so that your face is smushed agains the pillows and your ass is in the air.

He yanks your hair back and you shriek at the feeling of strands being ripped from your head. He pulls you back up until his mouth is right next to your ear and your spine is lined up with his chest.

“No? You didn’t like it baby?” He hisses mockingly in your ear, and roughly fondles a bruised tit.

“I didn’t like it when you were licking lips with him in front of me either, but I guess we can’t all get what we want…well maybe you can’t. I’ll take whatever the fuck I want from you though.” And with that he lets go of your head and lets you unceremoniously fall back onto the downy covers.

Bakugo grabs your hips and pull your ass back until it’s flush against his dick. He rubs the wet tip up and down your ass, and traces it down your slit, letting it press in a little further when in contact with your entrance.

He doesn’t push it in though. No, he goes lower and lower until the member in his hand parts your lips open and it brushes against your clit.

When it does, your body shudders and jerks at the sensation of his tip swirling in your juices around the little nub and prodding at the sensitive flesh. He thrusts slowly and lets the sensation build at your throbbing clit before pulling back abruptly.

You fist the sheets and try to ignore the way your legs shake. It’s humiliating, you know you can’t even shift to your side lest he props you back face down ass up like a fucking animal.

And he was treating you like one, too.

He panted like a dog when he let your juices drool and collect around his girth, and he clawed and teethed on your neck and tits as if he were some kind of mutt.

It scared you how badly he wanted you.

You feel a soft tapping against your clit and you unconsciously arch your back and mewl when the area buzzes with need.

It almost physically hurts the winding coil in your stomach to hold your hips back from chasing Bakugo’s dick as he pulls away, the fucker knowing that you wanted more no matter how terrified you were of him.

“Aww, what’s wrong kitty? No more bitchy attitude and claws? Don’t worry, I’ll soothe your other kitty pretty soon,” he snorts at his own unfunny joke.

You don’t laugh. In fact, you tremble with indignation and horror when he begins pushing back into you as if it were the only place for his cock to be.

“Fucking shit,” he hisses in pleasure as he slowly sheaths his entire length around your dripping cavern. “Maybe I’ll bring in his broken body and set him up on the chair right there-“ he pushes your head to the side so you can see the armchair he points to. You don’t really care about the stupid chair though, not really when you can feel yourself stretch painfully and ingest every vein that scrapes against your insides.

“I’ll take his broken wrists and snap ‘em back to their normal state just so I can break them again when I cuff him down. I’ll make you look at him right in his pathetic eyes when I’m balls deep inside your slutty cunt.”

You let out an embarrassingly loud moan when he pulls out just to grab onto your hips and slam your ass against his groin again. He watches as your cheeks clap around his dick and spreads your gooey substance around his thighs and stomach.

“Baku-“

Smack

“Katsuki!”

“The fuck did I say about calling me by my name? You want me to bring him out of the morgue and light his body up too? Didnt realize you hated him that much, fuckin’ whore.”

All of a sudden you feel a heavy weight leaning forward and draping itself on your back, suffocating you with feeling filled everywhere. Your sweaty bodies mash, fluids mixing as he grabs your hair like reigns and slaps his hips against yours. The mattress shakes with the force of his thrusts and you swear you can feel him poking through your stomach when he suddenly lets out a loud groan.

He doesn’t give you any kind of indication that he’s cum, you only feel hot ropes of his seed shoot into your poor, wounded pussy. It stings with the mixture of blood that seeps out of you, the clash making an almost cute pink color coming out of your hole.

Bakugo unravels his hands from your hair and peels himself off of you, but when you try to shakily follow pursuit he leans an elbow into your spine, successfully making you squeal in pain and flop back onto the bed.

“Stay down. Teasing sluts like you don’t deserve to move off their natural habitat.” He sneers and uses a thumb to pull your asscheeks apart, inspecting his cum.

He whistles and lightly slaps one cheek, passing the view off as satisfactory.

“Please,” you rasp, opening one bleary eye to watch him pull a shirt on. “Please just tell me if you got him help.”

Katsuki smiles and lights a blunt. He takes a long drag and peers at your wrecked body.

“You didn’t hear what I said earlier?”

Your heart seizes and you slowly pull your head up from the pillow, eyes as wide as the moon.

“Who says he’s even alive?”

[chisheya]

hanahaki disease [niragi x reader x chishiya] highschool au!

Summary: love is reckoned to make us powerful; not susceptible - as much as i tried to convince myself that. as much as i tried to stay strong; tough and heroic, enough to risk it all and let my emotions surge on the exterior. strong enough to be crushed yet again, to love and be loved again - knowing my fragility. 

 i’ve known the agony and lament sufficiently enough that it demolished my sanity, left my soul burning away, gradually fading into ashes and disappearing like dust under the moonlight’s breeze. and the funny unfunny part is - i wish i had told him, perhaps one day i will. 

‘‘I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. My love bloomed like a flower in my chest.’‘

Tag list: (if you want to be tagged, let me know because the previous post got deleted for some weird reason lol)

Word count: 2.5k

The sun's soft twinkles crawl over house rooftops, and in an early hour, despite it, it still felt like a chilly morning. Early as it is, the neighborhood was caught up with parents rushing with their children, some going to work, some even rushing late. Thankfully, the riots of youngsters were vetoed by the sound of Supermassive Black Hole by Muse playing through my earphones. I was deliberately walking down the alley on my way to school, gripping the hem of my uniform and cursing to myself that this skirt was of no use to at least keep my legs warm. 

The reckless gust reaching from my left side provoked me to jump out of my skin, revolting me from my daydream. 

‘’God's sake-’’ I turn my head only to see Chishiya standing next to me, with a smirk on his lips. The sudden view of him caused me to blush, as my brain screamed oh-look-your-crush. Although you could rarely see this guy smiling and being friendly, his agenda was incompatible. Clever, crucial, and cunning as he is, he always had a special place in my heart. Why, you ask? I'd love to know that too... Maybe because he has been my friend since forever. 

''You must be that cold, huh,'' Chishiya says sarcastically. ''Y-yeah.'' I murmur, ''anyway, again one of early practicals at the hospital today?'' ''Correct.''

''Yikes,'' I add, clicking my tongue, ''good luck.''

''Have you decided if you'll stay here in Tokyo?'' Chishiya pops a question, clearing his throat, as his face remains immersed on the boulevard in front of us. ''Huh, what do you mean?'' I add, looking up at him, wishing he'd look back at me. But he never does... 

''For university.'' ''Oh, that,'' is all I say, before taking the next few seconds to think what to proceed with, ''yeah, Tokyo - I guess, still not sure yet.''

''It better be Tokyo or I'm disowning you.'' He says in a stern voice, delivering it with a smirk as he quickly runs his hand through my hair, resulting in becoming a mess.

''Hey!'' I chuckle, about to return the favor but he succeeded to grab my wrist and stop me just on time. Shucks.

Chishiya and I have been friends since childhood, as our dads have been friends since their early school days as well. He's in his third year in med school and I'm about to graduate in less than a month and enter university in few months. Not to mention, living close enough in the same neighborhood visiting Shuntaro's family every Sunday for dinner was a ritual that my dad, Aguni, and I couldn't stop doing. My mother has had enough of Tokyo so she decided to leave for England. Yeah, pretty simple...it has only been dad and me since. Not like I regret staying with dad, and if there was the father that would win The Dad of the Year award, it would be him. Playing cards meanwhile drinking wine was a post-dinner ritual for our dads, later through time, Chishiya joining them as well. In most cases, I'd end up just observing how they play and anticipating who's going to win. From Aguni being the best to, Shuntaro's dad, a few years later as Chishiya evolved enough his cunning games he beat them in it. He became a card game master, no jokes. 

I didn't notice it has come for the time for us to go different paths, as my school was in the complete opposite direction.

''So,'' I murmur, stopping and turning to face him, ''I guess time to say goodbye.''

''Good luck, kid.'' He says, giving me a soft smile. Ah, if he only knew how something so insignificant and minor to him has such a consequence on my heart. But he never will though. As I know, what we are and what we are not. 

I just smiled as I watch him turn his back on me and leave first. He always leaves first. I stayed few more seconds as his figure slowly fades of to distance I get ready to go my way.

                                                        ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 

 After the last class, I choose to go to a nearby library to catch up on some assignments. The library is a soft of the enormous coffee shop yet one can stay all day and feel good even if one buys nothing at all. That's the discrepancy. It is a place of welcome for everyone rather than for "customers." This is not a money-nexus venue yet a love-nexus space, and that makes it a real treasure in this city.

I was relinquished and dazzled by the book in front of me, until the moment someone’s voice yanks me out of my thoughts.

''Since classes are over, want to grab lunch?'' I feel a hand placing softly on my left shoulder as a soft boyish voice peaks behind me.

''Niragi,'' my lips stretch in a smile as I embrace my best friend in a hug, ''of course, you mind if Chishiya tags along as well?''

''Oh,'' he mouths, providing it with a vague look, as I feel him stiffen up a bit and breaking the hug before proceeding, ''Chishiya..too?'' 

''Yeah!'' 

''Sure,'' he says, providing it with a soft smile, ''definitely..'' 

''Great, I'll let him know then.'' 

                                                        ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 

Niragi and I walked after school side by side, on the way to Shibuya where we agreed to meet up with Chishiya. As we have arrived early, we stand by a big poster advertisement. I gently lean my back onto it, facing the industrious avenues of Shibuya wandering with people. Niragi, leaning as well, right next to me. 

''So, have you decided? Is it going to be Tokyo or London?'' 

''Hm,'' I murmur as his question breaks me out of my trance, ''regarding studies?'' He nods. 

''Honestly, not sure,'' I hesitate, before proceeding, ''but I'd love to stay in Tokyo.'' This was not a lie, but London on the other hand, was just an excuse in case my health gets worse. An agreement was made with my dad that it'd be best to stay there with my mom and focus on getting better. 

''Tokyo.'' I sigh, still caught up thinking what if I have to end up having to go back to London. What do I do then? And more importantly, what do I tell them? The minor, simple thought of lying to the people I deeply care about stings. 

''And you?'' 

''Tokyo,'' he says softly while looking down, smiling - as the thought if he had something that binds him to dwell in this city, ''I already got accepted in for game engineering.'' 

I knock him softly on top of his head, standing on my tippy toes. Though he was portrayed as the delicate and sweet guy he is, he was taller than both Chishiya and me. 

''Ouch,'' he exclaims as his hand rests on top of his head, my action catching him off guard, ''why did you do that?'' 

''Why haven't you told me, little idiot?'' 

''I planned to,'' he giggles, a wide smile as I've never seen scattering across his delicate features, ''I was waiting for you to confirm you got in your desired major as well.'' 

Yeah, I have, Niragi. It's just that I might not even be able to go because of my health. The phrases, the verdict, that I desired I could have mouthed out. But I couldn't, not now. Not when we're about part ways, and the way I want to remember these recollections is by them as their happy-selves, us cycling through alleys of Tokyo, eating noodles in the park during chilly nights, by city lights as the background noise of crickets was vetoed by our laughter. The recollections, moments I'll protect in my psyche permanently. 

I just remained silent, looking at my friend as he was smiling and looking off to distance till he started waving to someone. I shift my gaze only to see Chishiya's figure approaching us, hands in his pockets as usual. 

''Hello there, peasants.'' Chishiya teases, as he finally approaches us.

''Excuse me, lord Shuntaro.'' Niragi scoffs at him, crossing his arms.

''So where will we head to?'' 

''Whoa, Morizono, not even embracing your friend in a warm hug and you're already talking about eating,'' Chishiya says falsifying pain in his voice, ''I'm hurt.''

 ''Chishiya,'' I let out, rolling my eyes at his statement, ''I know you don't do hugs.'' I proceed, nudging his forearm slightly, hoping that the warmth I felt growing in my cheeks wasn't showing. 

''Fuunji or Ichiran Shibuya?'' Niragi says, clicking his tongue. 

''Fuunji,'' I mutter, at the same time as Chishiya adds, ''Ichiran.'' Our eyes met instantly as we both realized our choices were different.

Do I have to mention that I'm probably already blushing? No, because heck - yes I am. 

Oh boy, here we go. Let him have his way, Y/N. 

As you always do. 

''You know what, let's go to Ichiran,'' I exclaim, looking in between my best friends waiting for them to agree. 

''Ichiran it is,'' Niragi exclaims. 

A little while later, our food has finally arrived. The moment it lands on the table, Niragi digs at his sweet and sour soup and pulls out all the cubes of carrot. I don't say anything, I really couldn't care less about table manners and there's always something interesting going on in his head. Chishiya calm and collected as he is, starts eating at a slow pace. After swallowing his first bite, he breaks the silence, ''we must go somewhere to celebrate your birthday, Y/N.'' 

''I'm not sure-''

Niragi peeks up at me with sticky fingers in his mouth. Meanwhile, Chishiya adds, through the mouthful, that I could just about make out the name "Kyoto."

As my mouth was full of food as well, I just nod seriously. 

"That's a great idea, Chishiya. I never thought of that." Niragi grins, still with the fingers in his mouth, then he scoops them up and lines them neatly next to his stocking.

Chishiya holds out a cup of soju, "for Y/N." Niragi's hand comes over and snatches it up, his grin as wide as his cheeks will stretch, and scatters back.

Chishiya and I just exchanged looks, laughing at his silliness.

We drank soju, we were already merry and full, we told the most terrible of jokes. That was us. Casual, informal, yet caring enough to make the time we spend together joyful. 

                                                         ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 

After grabbing lunch with Chishiya and Niragi, I headed straight home. The thought of visiting Kyoto for my birthday with them was still bouncing on my mind. The thing is, how to bring it up to Aguni? Hm? As loving and fond as he is of both of them, the thought of sending his only daughter away with two boys on a trip probably sounded far away from a brilliant idea. Sigh, I guess it'll take a lot to convince him. 

''Dad, I'm home!'' I exclaim, meanwhile closing the doors behind me and taking off my shoes in the hallway. 

''Someone's back home early, huh?'' Aguni says chuckling, as he plants a soft kiss on my forehead. 

''Yup, something smells delightful,'' I say, meanwhile slapping my hands in excitement and taking my seat. 

''Ah, you sneaky,'' He adds, taking the seat as well across me, ''it's your favorite - pad thai chicken wok.'' 

''So,'' I began, meanwhile randomly picking food with chopsticks in my plate, ''I have a question.'' 

''Yes?'' Aguni murmurs, mouthful, gazing up at me. ''So you know that my birthday is next week...'' I say awkwardly, placing my chopsticks gently on the table. 

''Of course, how would I forget my daughter's birthday?'' He scoffs, butthurt that his daughter thinks he's that forgetful. 

''No, of course not.'' I chuckle, ''but I did want to ask you something, uh...'' 

''Go ahead, silly.'' 

Just say it. Now or never. And I do - ''I've been thinking of visiting Kyoto with Chishiya and Niragi-'' 

''Not happening.'' 

''But-'' 

''You? On a trip? With two boys?'' his voice stern as he glares up at me, causing me to swallow, ''you must be out of your mind to think I'll let you, Y/N. Boys your age are wild.'' 

''No, there's going to be more of other friends...too, from school.'' I start, slightly panicking as I was also trying to think of the ways to get him to approve, ''not just Chishiya and Niragi, although you know they're my closest friends.'' I proceed further, looking around the food on the table, as I noticed he has almost cleared out his plate, and yet there was still chicken left in mine. Splendid, a perfect way to bribe him now.

''Plus,'' I mutter, as I start taking out the chicken from my plate, putting on his, his eyes now fully focused on that chicken, ''I know you trust them enough to protect me if anything happens, right?'' I grin, awkwardly. 

''Only because they are aware who's your father and someone not to mess with.'' He adds, still not convinced enough, but still taking the small pieces of chicken with his chopsticks. 

''Uh, yeah,'' I murmur, as I watch him, eating up those last few pieces of chicken as if they are his last, ''beside your protectiveness, what do you think?''

''Y/N, you've forgot one thing.'' Aguni says with a serious tone, placing down his chopsticks. 

''What?'' I question, acting dumb. Expecting him to answer, he just remains silent and gives me an even worse glare now, ''doctor's appointment,'' I add, ''come on, it doesn't have to be next week as well. Just check with them if they can postpone it.''   

He preserves silent, still staring up at me with a serious look on his face. Sigh.

''A trip with my friends is more important. Not to mention, it's our last as we're all parting ways soon because of university.''  

''To you. But to me, your health is more important Y/N.''

''I...understand, dad,'' I sigh, looking up at him, falsifying a smile, ''but look at me, I'm feeling fine. I've never been better.''

''Same as you claimed in the past, until it happened again and I was close to losing you forever.'' He asserts, this time his voice louder than before.

''Dad...cheer up,'' I exclaim, as I reach out my hand, placing it on top of his, ''it's...just because it happened then, doesn't mean it will happen again.''

''You don't know that. Your condition is serious-''

''I'll take care of myself. Alright?'' I murmur, squeezing his hand, ''please, can I go?''   

''Alright, alright. Under one condition, take care of yourself and as soon as you get back we're going to the doctors. Promise?''

''I promise.'' I holler, lunging from my seat to hug him before storming off to my room. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I lean my back on it. 

There was an eerie sentiment I felt within, a good sort though - just not sure for what exact reason yet. It felt like it was the calling card of an adventure, paths awaiting, what will transpire. Whatever was ahead could be a great challenge, and there could be tears, but it was an exploration to take and so I smiled. The inklings would come, perhaps when I’d least expected it, so I’m ready to take this leap of faith.

[beekindacool]

Remus Lupin x Reader

Gender: female (she/her)

Word count: 2033

TW: none

You sat in the Gryffindor common room, just right in front of the fire. Behind you sat your dear friend, Lily Evans. The two of you had known one another since pretty much birth. Your mothers were best friends and you had followed in their steps. It was pure luck that you and Lily had turned out to be witches together. Even more luck when you were both sorted into Gryffindor. Now, though, you were in your sixth year.

You looked over to Lily, she was finishing up her Potions homework when James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew obnoxiously came running down the stairs from their dorm rooms.

“Ladies! Lovely evening, innit?” Sirius hummed, dancing towards you and Lily. You scrunched up your nose slightly, mocking a face of disgust. In actuality, you enjoyed the presence of The Marauders, despite how over-the-top they could be. After all, they had been there for Lily after the fallout with Snape last year.

James scooted himself over next to Lily, he tried wrapping an arm around her shoulder but she shooed him away, a smile was undeniably growing on her face. Yes, Lily was into James but she always denied it.

Sirius made a comment, teasing them probably but you had turned your attention towards Remus. You didn’t realize it before but he stood next to you now.

“It’s painful watching those two, really!” The tall boy whisper-yelled to you, letting out a chuckle afterwards. You never really paid any mind to Remus. He was always a bit more quiet than James and Sirius. Peter, too, with all his anxious fits.

You studied his face for a bit, noticing the long pink scar that went across his face. His deep blue eyes that looked sad despite the small smile he had on. The light stubble on his chin. The way his hair was wavy and sort of swooped over like in the movies. Remus Lupin was *really* pretty.

Remus cleared his throat just loud enough for you to snap out of your daze. You felt your face heat up in embarrassment.

“I’m... I am so sorry. Merlin, I did not mean to come off as creepy or anything I just! I-“ You were cut off by Remus.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/L/N. It’s okay to be curious about my scars.” He consoled, patting your shoulder with his hand lightly.

Your time with Remus was cut short when James called for him as the rest of the boys were leaving through the painting. Remus said a quick goodbye and jogged towards his friends.

Letting out a sigh, you sat next to Lily and she laid her head in your lap. You played with her fiery red locks as she rambled on about James being absolutely ridiculous.

Later that night, you still sat in the common room but now alone. You laid on the couch and watched the dying fire. You thought about Remus: his hand in yours, cuddling, etc. All that romantic cheesy stuff. You couldn’t help it, it was the hopeless romantic in you.

As if on cue, though, The Marauders entered the common room again. James and Sirius greeted you and ran back into their dorms, giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls as Peter followed behind them. Remus didn’t follow them, instead he came over to you. Quickly, you sat up straight and made room for Remus. He sat down on the opposite side and turned his whole body towards you, lifting his knees up to his chest.

For the next hour, you and Remus talked about almost anything and everything. It was easy to get comfortable with him, everything about him made you feel warm and at home.

After that night in the common room, the two of you became almost attached to the hip when he wasn’t hanging out with The Marauders. He eventually trusted you enough to tell you about his “condition”. Remus was with you all throughout seventh year, too. And with each moment you spent with him, the more you fell in love with him.

It was Lily and James’ wedding day. You were the maid of honor and Sirius was the best man. The wedding was a small one; James’ parents, Remus, and Peter being the only others to attend due to the first war.

The summer breeze gently tousled Lily’s hair. She looked just like a princess would. The top of the dress hugged her torso and flowed out into a tea length. It was a little simple but easy to move in. You wore a light lemony yellow dress, it was an a-line with a small cape over it.

The ceremony had quickly ended and all of you went to Lily and James’ home to eat dinner. The whole night was full of laughter and utter joy, everyone was able to forget about the terrors outside for just a little bit.

That night, Remus took you home.

“I hope you know you looked absolutely beautiful tonight, Y/N. Really.” He commented as the two of you got to your doorstep. Remus had a cheeky smile on his face and he shifted awkwardly as he waited for a response.

“Thank you. You looked really handsome too, you git.” You let out a small laugh and avoided eye contact with Remus, your face was undeniably as red as a cherry.

He gently held your cheek with one hand, making you look at him. Remus pursed his lips for a moment before speaking again.

“C-can I kiss you?” He stuttered out, wincing as his voice cracked just a bit. You couldn’t help but grin ear to ear at him, he was absolutely adorable. You nodded though and leaned up, pulling Remus into a kiss. It was sweet. He was sweet. Remus tasted like chocolate.

After that, you and Remus dated for a bit. About three years, actually. It was going absolutely perfect with Remus until Lily and James had been murdered. It broke your heart. Both of your hearts.

You tried making your relationship work after the war. It just didn’t feel the same anymore with no Lily, no James, no Peter, or Sirius.

It was a mutual decision to split. Remus moved away to Merlin knows where. He didn’t send any owls. He didn’t contact you at all afterwards. You couldn’t blame him.

Things eventually began looking up for you as years passed. Dumbledore sent you an owl, offering you a teaching position as the new charms professor and had also mentioned Harry Potter would be attending as a first year. Without a second thought, you accepted.

Now, it was your third year teaching at Hogwarts. You were so unbelievably proud of Harry with the things he had accomplished in his first and second year. You were close with him, always telling him stories about Lily and James. Harry considered you his aunt... at least one he actually liked.

You sat in the Great Hall, waiting for the other professors to arrive. You were excited to find out who the next DADA professor was. Or anxious? The last two you met were interesting to say the least... one being a traitor and the other being a fraud. Becoming bored of waiting, though, you began to doze off.

Next thing you knew, Snape was sitting next to you and dug his elbow into your rib, causing you to let out a quiet curse. He not-so-discreetly motioned over to a man sitting at the opposite end of the dining table. You thought it was Remus.

Snape knew that you and Remus had been in a relationship. You told him everything. He apologized for everything that had happened in the past. You couldn’t fully forgive him, not after he had become a death eater. You were able to tolerate him enough, though.

“Is that... Lupin? Remus Lupin?” You asked Snape slowly, unsure if whether or not your eyes were deceiving you. Snape let out a low yes.

And on cue, Dumbledore stood up and introduced the man you loved for all these years. You watched as he did an awkward bow to the students. He was so handsome still. When he sat back down, you could’ve sworn he looked back at you for a second.

After everyone was finished with their meals, students were the first to leave the Great Hall, leaving the professors to mingle for a bit before their first classes.

You tried staying close to Snape, acting as if you were busy but that didn’t stop Remus from coming up to you.

“Professor Y/L/N. It’s been quite some time! You’re looking well.” Remus cheerily greeted, his hands were dug in his pockets as he looked you up and down, obviously checking you out.

“I’m right here too, you know...” Snape hissed, one side of his top lip slightly curled in disgust. Remus threw his hands up and acted as if he was surprised to see Snape.

“Merlin! Sniv- I mean Snape. Hello!” Remus chuckled, he looked at you as you tried stifling giggles. You remembered when The Marauders would call Snape “Snivellous”.

Snape, finding Remus to be unfunny, scoffed and left to prepare for his Potions class. Now, it was just you and Remus. It was awkward.

“How’ve you been?” You finally asked, your voice became softer. You knew he had a hard time finding work because of his lycanthropy.

“I’m... I’m better than how I was last time we saw one another.” His voice wavered a bit, your last memories together were painful to remember.

“I missed you. I hope you know that.” You choked out, pulling him in for a hug. Your forehead was pressed against his chest and arms wrapped around his waist. You felt him hesitate but Remus stroked your hair.

The two of you were interrupted when Dumbledore cleared his throat. “It’s time for your classes, professors.”

“We’ll talk later, okay Y/N?” Remus pulled away from you and ruffled your hair a little bit before setting off to class. You waited a few moments before setting off yourself.

The whole day you thought about Remus. You were unsure about whether or not you were excited to talk or if you were going to explode from nervousness.

After dinner and students were sent to their dorms, you met with Remus in the library. The two of you sat at a table in the back corner. It used to be where you held your study dates with him.

“Right... where should we start?” He asked, folding his hands over the table. You could tell he was nervous.

“Have you been seeing anybody?” You blurted out, it was the first thing that came to your mind.

“No. No, I haven’t seen anybody since you.” Remus chuckled, raking a hand through his hair. He hesitated before speaking again.

“In all honesty Y/N, I couldn’t bring myself to be with anyone else. You were the only girl I’d ever loved. The only one I still love.” He said softly, lowering his head. You wanted to cry. To scream. To jump into his arms. Anything.

“I... I feel the same way. I love you still. Even after all these years. I always will.” You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.

You felt tears start dripping from your eyes. It was barely noticeable at first but then they had just coming out like a faucet. Remus stood up, panicking.

“What’s wrong, darling?” He asked, picking you up and sitting you on the edge of the table. Remus stood in between your legs and wiped your tears best he could.

“I just missed you so much,” you choked out in between sobs, “I thought about you everyday and here you are standing right in front of me again. It’s all I’ve ever wanted since forever.”

Remus let out a soft laugh and shook his head. He took your face in his hands and kissed you. It was desperate and passionate. You tried making up for all the kisses you missed over the past thirteen years.

You were ready to build a future with Remus again. You were going to make it work with him through thick and thin.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Optigami

For the first time this season, we're actually acknowledging what happened at the end of the last season. Of course, it's the thirteenth episode chronologically, so you can tell the writers really wanted to strike while the iron was hot.

Let's get into the ninth (chronologically the thirteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Optigami.

We start off with Nathalie recounting the events of “Miracle Queen” to Gabriel, where Chloe exposed the identities of the temp heroes, which is kind of odd considering they were both there. Then again, it's entirely possible Gabriel forgot what happened given we're literally halfway through the season chronologically. According to Nathalie, she created a Sentimonster the very next day to spy on the heroes. After a lot of surveillance by the Sentimonster, named Optigami, all Nathalie and Gabriel really found out was that the heroes were just regular teenagers who occasionally got a Miraculous from Ladybug without even learning her identity, all while we learn she continued to give Miraculous out to the heroes despite the risk to their safety.

Okay, a few questions here. First, why the hell didn't Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth or Mayura try something like this from the beginning? It took you two lucking out in finding out the identities of seven heroes to think about spying on your enemies? Second, Mayura created Optigami the next day? Wasn't she in a lot of pain as a result of using the Peacock for a whole season? At least when she created a Sentimonster in the New York special, it was set a vague amount of time after “Miracle Queen”. Third, Ladybug is seriously recruiting the same heroes again after the rules that she imposed onto Chloe? You know, the person who couldn't use the Bee Miraculous again because of the risk to her safety, and ultimately betrayed Ladybug because she hated the rule? Seriously, the video footage shows Ladybug recruiting Ryuko, someone whose identity Shadowmoth already knew before “Miracle Queen”, so this makes even less sense. If Chloe doesn't get her Miraculous after exposing her identity to the whole world, the same should apply to the other heroes too. If they wanted to make Chloe an exception, all they had to do was have Ladybug bench Queen Bee because she didn't trust Chloe in her civilian life. This just makes Ladybug come off as a hypocrite who serves to justify Astruc's warped mentality that Chloe doesn't deserve a Miraculous even though she lost hers for the same reason as the others.

Nathalie calls Optigami a failure, but Gabriel actually uses his brain for once and comes up with a plan to take out all of the temp heroes at once by putting them in a situation where Ladybug is forced to recruit one of them in order to stop an Akuma. He calls Audrey Bourgeois, a major fashion magazine writer and praises her idea to give a monthly award to a fashion icon, and Gabriel says “there's no better introduction than giving it to his son”, so I'm not sure if he told Audrey to give the award to Adrien, or if he already got the award and Gabriel was just capitalizing on the chance.

So we cut to Marinette and Alya hanging out in the former's room, and surprise, surprise, Marinette is gushing over Adrien. It isn't a love story if there's a single scene not talking about the love interest according to Astruc.

Yeah, despite not being on the list of targets, Marinette got a ticket to the award show because the writers weren't sure how else they could work her into the plot. The Kwamis ask if they can come along, forgetting about the fact that they need to be a secret or be with an owner (guessing Marinette learned her lesson after “Furious Fu”). I'm starting to think I was a little too harsh on Master Fu considering he managed to put up with these godlike idiots for 176 years.

Alya and Trixx, the Fox Kwami, bring up a decent point that now that Alya knows she's Ladybug, she can take a more active role in helping her as Rena Rouge if she had the Fox Miraculous full-time, while Marinette points out the fact that it's too risky for anyone but her to hand out Miraculous. This is brief, but I like this little disagreement here. While I think Marinette could have brought up the fact that Shadowmoth knows Alya's identity in her argument, both sides still make a good point, and this will come into play later on, for better or for worse.

So Marinette and Alya head out to the award party where they meet up with Adrien, Kagami, Luka, Kim, Max, and Nino, with Alya doing a secret handshake with him that I'm sure won't be important later on. We also get a hilarious scene of Alya once again trying to force Marinette into an elevator with Adrien with the explicit intent to have her get closet to Adrien, while she unsurprisingly freaks out, leading to some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick.

So much for Marinette growing after the second umbrella scene.

Optigami is set up, and Shadowmoth creates a Sentimonster of the man hosting the award ceremony, and takes the opportunity to do what we've all wanted to do since Audrey's first appearance in late 2018.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you, Gabriel Agreste. You're the real MVP of this episode.

So Shadowmoth sends out an Akuma to akumatize Audrey into his “magnum opus”, Style Queen, once again (Audrey is also implied to be willingly akumatized like Chloe in “Queen Banana”). And since the titular Sentimonster plays a big role in Shadowmoth's plan this episode, I think now's a good time to talk about Optigami.

Optigami has a simple design, a butterfly colored like Mayura, but I like the role it plays. It has the power to hide in any solid object and observe the environment like a camera Nathalie watches, all while Style Queen chases after the temp heroes and turns them into piles of gold dust. Whether that's because she's been powered up by Shadowmoth or because the animators can't afford to create new models of the characters as gold statues isn't clear. It still really shows the writers are taking advantage of the concept of Sentimonsters as support for Akumas outside of more muscle.

So Kagami tries to distract Style Queen while Adrien runs, and she is the first to be taken out. Chloe then tells Style Queen where Ladybug went, but she gets targeted because she laughed at her mother earlier, and then tries to use Zoe as a human shield before getting blasted. Oh, thank God. I thought Chloe was going to appear in an episode where the writers didn't remind the audience how much of a terrible person she is and anyone who supports her is just as bad.

Marinette and Adrien both run off to transform, but get into the same elevator together, which then gets broken thanks to Style Queen's interference. This leads to an interesting setup where neither of them can transform and hope their partner will save them, leading to some real tension. There's also thankfully little to no stammering from Marinette in these scenes. It's almost like the writers only have her struggle to talk with Adrien so they don't actually have to write scenes like this. Alya briefly teases Marinette for saying she's stuck in an elevator with Adrien before realizing she's trapped in an elevator with a civilian and can't transform.

After Max and Luka get taken out, Marinette calls a phone she set up near the Miracle Ball to call the Kwamis, pretending to talk to the fire department and secretly tells them to send Kaalki to help her, but Adrien sees Optigami spying on them in the elevator, so Marinette is forced to hang up. Marinette and Adrien are about to transform and reveal themselves to each other, but because neither of them are on the list and because Shadowmoth felt like actually being a decent father today, Optigami retreats with Style Queen, who then takes out Kim, leaving only Alya and Nino left.

Marinette tells Alya to call the Kwamis, but while she does so, she gets a call from Nino, who is soon taken out by Style Queen and... is replaced... by an... evil... doppelganger... The eighth one in four seasons...

The only question I have is how did Shadowmoth create two Sentimonsters in the same day? Did he recharge offscreen? Either way, he sends “Sentinino” after Alya to lure her out, but Kaalki arrives and portals her to Marinette's room, leading to the funniest joke of the episode.

Alya takes the Fox Miraculous and transforms into Rena Rouge and creates an illusion of Ladybug to distract Style Queen while she meets up with Marinette with the Bee Miraculous, but she decides to take the Turtle Miraculous even though Marinette didn't tell her to just to be safe.

Rena Rouge meets up with Sentinino and gives him the Turtle, alerting Shadowmoth to the fact that Alya may have a bigger role than he anticipated. Sentinino transforms into Carapace (or would a more accurate term be Sentipace?) while Optigami hides in the Turtle Miraculous, leading to another interesting conflict. If Style Queen gets Ladybug's Miraculous, Shadowmoth wins, but even if Ladybug wins, Sentipace can swoop in and steal Ladybug's Miraculous when her guard is down. This is David Xanatos levels of planning here.

Rena Rouge escorts Adrien out of the elevator via one of Kaalki's portals, and Marinette transforms into Ladybug before unifying with the Bee Miraculous into Ladybee.

Ignoring the creepy look on her face, I think Ladybee has a pretty good design. I think the black and gold go well with her suit, and the ponytail with the gold streaks is a nice touch. I'm not sure if it's referencing Queen Bee's design, but I like it, as well as the slight antennae on her head. I still prefer Dragonbug's design, but I can see why so many fans love this one too.

Ladybee is surprised Sentipace is there, but accepts his help anyway. Ladybee summons her Lucky Charm, a compact mirror, but when looking around, she doesn't see how to use the Lucky Charm with Sentipace as he isn't highlighted in her vision like certain objects/heroes that play a part in stopping an Akuma. Ladybee uses Venom, and with Sentipace's Shelter, manages to tank Style Queen's blasts and stun her before de-evilizing her.

Cat Noir tries to cataclysm the golden shield Style Queen placed around the building, but shows up too late, being surprised at the presence of Rena Rouge and Sentipace. He jokes about it, but this will somewhat come into play in future episodes.

Ladybug prepares to throw the compact mirror to use Miraculous Ladybug and fix the damage, but through the mirror, sees Nino fail to do the secret handshake with Alya. Ladybug pulls a John McClane and swings off the top of the building and tells Cat Noir to use his Cataclysm to destroy the Turtle Miraculous, releasing Optigami, and giving Nathalie a major headache. Shadowmoth undoes the creations of Optigami and Sentinino and retreats.

Alya is naturally upset that she screwed up and almost let Shadowmoth find out Ladybug's identity, but then, well...

Like with “Gang of Secrets”, I'm very mixed on this ending. Both Alya and Marinette make good points here. Alya knows she almost let Shadowmoth win, but Marinette points out how invaluable Alya was today and realizes how helpless she was doing a lot of things on her own. Even if Alya didn't give the Turtle Miraculous to Sentinino, Marinette still had to face the possibility of revealing herself to Adrien. Like it or not, she needs someone to help her more, and Alya is the only one able to fill that position.

The problem I have is that because of how Marinette phrases that sentence, it comes off like Alya is being rewarded for what happened this episode. I get she helped, but I just find it weird that Marinette doesn't feel a little uncomfortable trusting Alya more after going behind her back and almost screwing up the entire mission in the process. I think the scene could have worked if Marinette was a little more stern towards Alya and realized she had no choice but to give her the Fox, creating a little tension between the two as a result.

So the episode ends with a post-credits scene where Gabriel and Nathalie realize they need to focus more attention onto Alya due to her connection to Ladybug.

But yeah, this was honestly a really good episode. It's become my favorite this season.

The plot has a fair amount of suspense and tension, most of it derived from the very clever plan Shadowmoth has this time, taking full advantage of the repaired Peacock in order to make what was already a very powerful Akuma even more of a threat. There were jokes, but unlike in other episodes that focus on humiliating Marinette or interrupting the tension, they're well-placed. The same goes for the elevator scene. The writers easily could have made Marinette stammer all of her words around Adrien, but for once, they realized that they needed to have her actually interact with him in order to maintain the tension of the episode.

Granted, there are still some flaws, like Marinette really had no reason to be invited to the award ceremony. All they really had to do was have Adrien invite her himself, which would justify her eager reaction at the beginning. It's also strange that nobody brings up the fact that all of Adrien's friends who were invited were temp heroes. I've already gone over the problem with timeline at the beginning as well as the ending and I plan to talk about Rena Rouge's partnership with Ladybug next time.

Overall, this was still a really good episode. Even the evil doppelganger plotline had an interesting twist to it. What's the next episode about again? What? Another evil doppelganger of Nino?

[abizarreyodelingincident]

Braaaaaaains...

Jason Todd is legally – and biologically – dead. His family noted his lack of pulse at three in the morning, inside the cave, his body laid out on a table with medical instruments.

No, really, tell him something he doesn't know.

What else crawls out of a grave moaning and groaning?

Or, Jason thought his family full of the world's greatest detectives was smarter than this. Apparently not.

****************************************************************

It had been an ordinary night. Calm. The stage for very little costumed crime and barely more regular, non-insane crime as well. Half the menagerie that made up Dick's loving ragtag bunch of younger siblings had even taken the night off.

Nothing should have make him arrive to silence this thick, to this faint echo of sniffling.

He sprinted after the noise.

Damian's fine, left before me. Duke didn't go out, nor did Steph. Babs spent the evening with Cass in the cave, Tim swept the bowery and said he was going to stop by Jason's place to-

He collided with a shaking, tear stained Tim right outside the medbay.

There was a body on the closest table. Others around it, crying, pacing, muttering in denial.

Dick couldn't look.

No, no, please, please no. I can't do that again. I can't!

Scarred skin, too pale – to be Duke or Cass – by death. His breath hitched. No. He. Fuck.

He knew those scars. Those arms. That chest and that fucking Y from navel to shoulders.

“Dick! Jason... he was...  I found him in his apartment. And I brought him to the cave... but... Jason doesn't have a pulse. He's... cold...”

Dick stumbled.

No.

No, no, no, that... that couldn't be real.

He caught himself on his little brother. Brought himself into a hug too tight, as painful as the arms gripping his ribs and back. A grip meant for a lifesaving light at sea. For a safeline over a ravine.

Twice. He'd lost the same brother twice. And this time, he didn't even have the excuse of inexperience and unstable situations. He... he patrolled the city whilst his brother was dead, completely oblivious to the fact. How could he? How dare he not know?!

“Shh, Tim, I'm here. I'm here.” But not for Jason, whispered a vicious part of him.

“What's all this?”

Dick's heart just about stopped.

Damian stood at the entrance to the lockers' room, uniform folded under one arm, hair slightly damp from a shower and Bat-themed pajamas worn without shame. His mild annoyance was proof he had no idea of the drama that had happened not twenty feet from him.

With reluctance, he let go of Tim, a gentle hand lingering on his shoulder, before he took a few steps toward his youngest, most vulnerable brother.

“D-Dami, I... ”   Damn it, he had to be the one to tell Damian about this. Because otherwise, the person to break the news would be Bruce, and-

Shit.

Bruce.

Oh God. How could they possibly tell him- ? After all their fights, the goddamned shattering that had broken the man he had been, and their last conversations even being more admonishment about protocols that Jason had flippantly disregarded. Bruce would never recover. That was it. The end of Batman.

...But first, God he hated himself, wanted to just curl up in a corner and forget everything, first he had a young brother he needed to talk to. One... one little brother less than just this afternoon.

“Jason... ” He swallowed, his throat tight, his heart in denial, the words so damning, but needing to be said. “Jason did not make it. He... he's dead.”

Damian stayed thoughtfully silent.

Not... not the tearful reaction he had expected, but Damian had grown up surrounded by so much death and horror that he would obviously be guarded. And oh, Dick's heart went to his baby brother, and he truly wished he could

“I do not understand. Why such theatrics for the zombie?”

Dick gasped, knowledge warring with the flash of anger.

“Damian! He's our brother!”

“Did he lose his head?” Damian demanded, and Dick's mind buckled.

“Huh, no, but that doesn't have anything to d-”

“Then, why are you acting so weirdly emotional, Richard?”

Before Dick's temper could catch up to his mouth, the longest and most painful-sounding gasp erupted from the medbay, where, to the general shock of all, Jason's gray-ish body shot upward with both his arms raised.

Electroshocks didn't make you jolt like that.

Electroshocks, in fact, remained in their kit on the other side of the medbay, unused. Because Jason had seemingly been dead long before he had been brought to the cave.

That was roughly the moment when Dick's brain caught up with the first of many hints. Latched onto it with a fool's hope.

“... Damian... When you were calling Jason a 'zombie', what did you mean?”

Damian's brows scrunched up together, a look he meant to be intimidating, but had more in common with a disgruntled kitten. “Exactly that, Richard. Do we not have files on zombies in the computer? Dead bodies walking about animated by unholy powers?”

Jason's not- Dick forced the half formed thought to a halt. For once, he rather wanted to be very, very wrong in how he perceived his family.

“What's with all the noise? Can't someone try to sleep like the dead without screaming?” Jason groused. “Should have gotten myself buried ag-OOF!”

“JASON!” screamed the hysterical teenager that had launched himself at a very lively dead body.

“Huhh? Hi, Timmy?” Jason said blearily, ruffling Tim's hair, eyebags suspiciously prominent. “... Fear gas?”

The blinking slowed, the fog of sleep drifting away as he silently begged the rest of them for an answer.

Happily provided by a still crying Tim. “I thought you were gone!”

“What is dead may never die,” Jason quipped, his mouth twisting in that cocksure grin from his Robin days.

And Dick wanted nothing more than to stop right there, pass out from the relief and joy of his little brother being alive and kicking, but...

But... 

That joke. One of many morbidly unfunny jokes and puns.

Bone-deep fatigue crushed his back. A bitter curse for whatever higher forces messing with them echoed strongly inside his skull, before he gave in to the inevitable and inhaled a few times for patience.

“Jason. We thought you were dead-dead.”

With prickly, hedgehog style affection, Jason pushed Tim back and stood up, stretching. “Come off it, Goldie. I wasn't even decapitated. I mean, if you were really worried, you could have just called a necromancer or something.” His expression hardened. “But if you ever call a necromancer on my ass, I'll shoot your perfect glutes.”

Yup, yup, yup, this is happening.

Tim finally wiped the rest of the tears away, helped by one of Stephanie's handkerchiefs, when he froze. “Wait. Your skin's still pale as a corpse.”

The flicker of amusement in Jason's eyes killed it for Dick.

God, how could they have all been this idiotic? If Wally ever learned about this – Shit, did Roy and Kory know before him?!

They were going to laugh their asses off at him.

Jason, unaware of the world recalibration happening in his poor big brother's mind, shrugged and rolled his shoulders – who creaked suspiciously loudly, more like rusty hinges than normal body parts. “Eh, I'm just a bit hungry. Nothing a meal or two won't fix and get some blood flowing back under my s-”

“You're a zombie.”

They turned toward him.

“Way to cross the finish line on time, Mister Rabbit,” Jason drawled.

Barbara, for once, looked completely unprepared. “A zombie,” she repeated, dazed.

Stephanie's nervous giggle died out when she noticed the lack of humor. “... No!”

Cassandra furiously looked down, muttering in her fist. Duke, by contrast, had the expression of a person stuck in a very awkward nightmare.

Even Jason's good-natured ribbing faded in when faced only with the distant screeched of bats. “... Hm, guys, bats, roostery, parasites and octopi? This is old news. What's with all the... ”

He vaguely gestured at their faces.

“Old news?” Tim rasped like he was being strangled.

“I came back from the dead years ago! Come on! Am I in a parallel universe? Hey, Demon Brat,” Jason called, baffled, “you knew, right? I didn't imagine that, right?!”

“Of course, Todd. Mother informed me of everything. Besides, Grandfather's interest in your state of being was of interest for a few weeks. How could I have been ignorant about your zombified state of being?”

In the corner of his eyes, Dick noticed Tim's, Barbara's and Cassandra's expressions all pinching in displeasure. In a way, Dick was reassured. He hadn't been the target of a family-wide hoax to discredit him as an attentive and loving eldest brother. No, he was just naturally blind, apparently.

“He knew?” Tim growled, like it was a personal failing of the fabric of time and space.

Damian's tone was the exact opposite. “And none of you realized...?”

Dick squirmed. “I... huh... you see...”

His baby brother eyed him, completely unimpressed, and for once after years of partnership, Dick felt he deserved every single ounce of it.

“I see... I shall reevaluate the value of this 'detective training' I've been given if this is the result then,” he said, the nearest thing to completely disavowing his older siblings without saying so.  

In other circumstances, perhaps the others would have demanded that Damian stay and explain, but he suspected the quelling look it would have deserved prevented them. Not one of them spoke until Damian had disappeared upstairs and the elevator doors had closed.

“Jason, since when have you been a zombie?”

Jason blinked, jaw hanging. Juuuust enough for some of the scar tissue on his face to stretch past normal. Why did Dick only notice that now?

“Wait, you're all serious? How could you not know? I told you guys!”

And there was Dick's pride rearing its ugly head, because no, no he had not been told and maybe his deductive skills needed a very complete overhaul, but his memory was still excellent!

“You never said that. Heck, we weren't even talking until two years ago!”

“I literally told you all that I crawled out of my grave by myself, groaning the entire time. No experiment, no Lazarus Pit, just a body waking up in its own coffin and deciding to breathe fresh air. Does that not scream 'zombie' to you?”

They cringed.

“Not the only one that returned from beyond,” Babs mumbled. He could see her pull up the mental list right there.

“I greeted you all last meeting with a 'What's up, my bat folks? It's me, your favorite zombie!'. What did you think that meant?”

“That you're an asshole with a morbid sense of humor?” Stephanie quipped, and Jason momentarily paused his indignation to high five her. Fair's fair.

“Okay, but what about that time I got shot in the chest and I told you all not to worry about it?”

“I just figured you were going to get stitched up by Leslie or yourself, you know, regular bat neuroses,” Tim confessed.

Dick made a mental note to keep a much closer eye on Tim's patrols for the next few months.

“From a bullet chest wound?” Jason asked with an incredulousness that was not at all earned, because he was a freaking zombie!

“I thought your armor had blocked it! The hole wasn't bleeding!” Tim protested, cheeks red and tone defensive.

“Well, yeah,” Jason replied. “I don't bleed. It's like some fruit pulp or something. Ain't coming out if you don't press. My heart's not pumping.”

That's a 'nevermind' on the smoothie I saved for after patrol.

“Well, I know that now,” Tim said.

“I feel like I should write it down on the plaque or something,” Jason still sounded amazed, and might have pinched his arm just to be sure he hadn't been daydreaming, “Like, 'a good soldier AND A VERY DISCRETE ZOMBIE!' in big flaming letters. With a spotlight. And a dictionary opened on 'Zombie' or 'Undead'. You know, just in case the next batbrat to come along needs a few subtle hints about my true nature. What'd you think, Dick?”

He could not have been blushing harder than he currently was. “I think shut up.”

“Of course. What about when I shoved my deadly cold toes at Tim under a blanket?”

“Cold feet.”

“Never eating around you guys?”

“Daddy issues with Bruce,” Barbara deadpanned, and got a sock thrown at her for her honesty.

However, Duke, poor kid, turned green. “Wait, so when you offered me some jellied brain... was that not a death joke?”

Dick's stomach spontaneously shrivelled.

By the grimaces and sharp inhales all around, that was a common reaction.

Then the worst possible thing happened: Jason grinned.

He strutted, all confidence and brashness, and viper-quick, snatched an arm around Duke's shoulder. “Narrows, Nightlight, my tiny bitsy bro, everything I do is a death joke. My very existence laughs at death.”

Inside the batcave, the groaning was long-suffering and shameful.

“But that was actually brains,” Duke countered.

“Yeah. Calf brains. It's a delicacy.”

Tim massaged his forehead. What a mood.

Duke narrowed his eyes. “It was purely for the joke, wasn't it?”

Jason patted him on the back so hard Duke faltered. “One tragically wasted on your obtuse mind. I prefer me some Tête fromagée instead. Less like grainy jello.”

Stone-faced, Barbara wheeled herself toward the batcomputer. There, upon a series of quick clicks, she opened up the Bats's files. “Alright, you had your fun. Do you need to eat brains or are you just the world's least funny meathead?”

“I'm the world's most misunderstood vigilante!” Jason loudly protested, milking their pain for all it was worth. And then some. “But yeah, I do. No grey matter in there” -- he tapped his belly -- “no thinking up here.” -- his skull.

“Need some better quality brains then,” Tim stage-whispered to Stephanie.

Cass pointed the finger at Jason. “No killing for brains.”

Jason's good humor flickered with a flash of green. “Ain't ever done it, never will. It's a matter of morals, not hunger, Cass.”

Dick swooped in that minefield before it exploded.

“Great! Proud of you, Jay! You're the good kind of vegetarian zombie,” he said, putting an arm around his ginormous little brother's shoulders.

Wait a minute...

“Hey, you're older than when you died! Zombies don't age.”

“No, I was thrown into a Lazarus Pit, and the evil waters cured the malnutrition-induced delay on my growth. Haven't aged a day since.”

“I just thought you had a weird babyface thing going on,” Tim said.

Jason's grin turned sardonic. “Quite the opposite, Timber.”

Dick put his head in his hands in some vain attempt to prevent his brain from leaking through his ears.  With his luck, his little brother would 'playfully' eat some of it. “There's no way you look this rugged at biologically sixteen! I refuse to believe that.”

“Can you imagine my power if I'd been allowed to reach my full potential?” Jason leered, eyebrows waggling like waves in a sea at storm. “So many heart attacks.”

Barbara and Cassandra exchanged a silent look, and, after a solemn nod, Cassandra reached up to slap Jason upside the head.

“Thank you, Cassandra,” Barbara told her. “Jason, never do such a thing again.”

The disgruntled groan that followed must have been on purpose, because Jay was indeed an asshole.

“Besides, it's not like the world will ever know,” Tim said, cutting, a smirk hiding by his hand.

Dick really thought his little brother was far too relaxed upon learning that Jason was one with the undead. Sure, they had all encountered various levels of zombies during their missions, from all sorts of oral traditions and cultures, alien viruses and hidden nanobots piloting meat puppets. It wasn't even classified as a nation-wide crisis to encounter free-roaming zombies. But since the chronically unalive individual in question was one of their own, Dick felt he was owed at least a whole evening of frazzled panic and incomprehension for once.

“Oh?” Stephanie instead asked, sensing blood.

Tim shrugged. “Well, you know, no pulse, no blood flow,” he said with an angled eyebrow nodding at Jason's crotch

Stunned silence followed, their expressions varying from disgust, horror, unholy glee and, from Jason himself, wide-eyed shock that his shrimp of a little brother had had the balls to assimilate the zombieness fast enough to mock him for him.

Dick prayed for patience. For fortitude. And for an alternate timeline where he was an only child.

Why, for all the love of cotton candy and professional uncriminal clowns, did Tim put THAT image of Jason inside their brains? What had he done, him, a loving model for all of society, to suffer like this?

Maybe if he asked nicely, Jason would eat the image out of his head. He owed Dick that much after this clusterfuck of a conversation.

“Ooooooooh,” Stephanie crooned, miming getting dunked on. With acrobatics.

Jason huffed. “Like I was ever interested in the first place. I ain't Dick.”

“Okay, no slut shaming or virgin shaming, in fact, no shaming at all, please. In this house, we accept all sexualities, but we don't give out raunchy details about any of it, I only have so much brain bleach.”

“Share?” Duke pleaded in a whisper.

Oh, I wish I could, you young innocent soul.

A few beeps turned their attention back to Barbara and the batcomputer. “Well, that's one long overdue update to Jason's files. Anyone else want to share their 'obvious' medical condition?”

“Excuse you, being dead is not a medical condition.”

“I will make you wish for the peace of the grave, Jason.”

Droplets dripped from nearby stalactites.

A few bats flew overhead.

Jason turned to them like nothing had been said.

“Right. That was fun. Best night of my month. Can't wait to tell the Outlaws.”

Dick resigned himself to a series of unflattering texts by the absolute dickheads that were his second family. He could already tell the messages would blow up his phone to the Moon. 'You didn't know your brother that came back from the dead is a zombie?!'

“Have mercy and wait tomorrow morning?”

That smile could have been great or terrible. “You're lucky I'm in a spectacularly good mood, Dick.”

He had lifted his leg over his bike's seat when Duke was struck by genuine worry.

“Wait. Does Bruce know?”

Jason barked out a laugh.

“Of course he does! God knows he's got some massive blind spots, but he's obsessive, paranoid and I find subcutaneous trackers on me every week. No way he didn't get the hint before now.”

But, as his gaze went over the rest of them, his good cheer dimmed, his grin slipping off his face as surely as a bit of decayed flesh.

“... Right?”

[unohanadaydreams]

I would kill for some awkward sex headcanons with your faves. Who has trouble getting it up? Who applies the condom on wrong? Who yells out the wrong name in the heat of things? Also, who cums in your eye and y’all have to come knocking on 4th division, blinded as you are by the wet ass money shot 👁👁

I can not express how much I fucking love this ask. Here are your unfortunately spicy takes below. @tater-tati come get your juice. please don’t get it in your eye. <3

Features: smut. not the fun kind but the funny kind. sometimes the sad kind.

Who has trouble getting it up?

1. As Nodt. Not only is he scared of death, but of ‘the little death’. He fucks like its the last thing he’s gonna do and will probably not have the courage to go all the way anyhow. RIP to anyone who wants to get nutted in. Your man gets soft the moment you ask him to cum.

2. Mayuri Kurotsuchi. It is truly painful how much this man wants to be above sex. He takes anti-depressants just to flaccid and Logical when you won’t leave him in peace. He’d be first place, but he refuses to permanently fuck with his huge wrinkly brain (tm).

3. Jushiro Ukitake. Poor guy just gets really worn out some days and either can’t start or fizzles out before he can finish. Just reassure him it’s fine and allow him to finish through with his fingers and mouth so he can salvage his dignity and it should be alright.

4. Ulquiorra Cifer. It’s not something with a firm explanation or cause. Sometimes he just can’t keep in the moment or the bodily feelings he has will just...leave. There’s really no tell or situation that keeps these bouts of numbness from happening, so sex can be a real roll of the dice. He’ll shrug it off and continue on without his third leg (wing?) though.

5. Ryuken Ishida. He’s become very adept at shoving the majority of bad thoughts and feelings down with keeping his mind on work. Unfortunately, this means sex can be a struggle when visualizing how busy he is gets in the way of visualizing you on top of him. Isn’t usually a problem since sexual escapades with him don’t usually involve his dick. (Kink master works around emotional and bodily problems: more at 5.)

Who applies the condom on wrong?

1. Byakuya Kuchiki. He isn’t ignorant about sex per se, just the particulars of casual sex, since he was groomed to be a squeaky clean figurehead. And you can’t really produce an heir while using a condom, can you? He doesn’t even know to where begin. He takes the unopened condom with absolute confidence despite his ignorance and pointedly does not look at you when you fix his handy work, which is so heinous you have to use another one. (He fucking bunched the extra latex at the base for some reason, leaving the head of dick no breathing room and it ripped.)

2. Keigo Asano. He’s just extremely nervous and keeps putting it on too quick, catching it with his nails, and ripping it each time. He makes a joke about how his cock is just ‘sort of a monster hahaha’, but he is getting sweatier and more desperate and oh no, oh no, he is getting soft.

3. Gin Ichimaru. Absolutely is on purpose. He knows how to put on a condom thanks to being forcibly detained by Unohana and given a menacing demonstration on a banana after pressuring a 4th division woman to fuck raw. Purely scumbag tactics.

4. Riruka Dokugamine. What, like she’s supposed to know? What’s she supposed to do? Watch porn or something? Disgusting. Learn how to do it yourself. She screams into her pillow later because she absolutely googled how to put on a condom and just fucked it up.

5. Like, every Arrancar. Szayelaporro is the only exception. Ulquiorra commits to learning after the first fumble. Grimmjow doubles down and insists its fucking dumb in the first place. Luppi refuses to wear one unless it’s an appealing color and probably flavored.  Nnoitra hates it on principle--its like you’re trying to oppress his dick or something?? Harribel says--with a completely straight face--that the pull out method will be fine.

Who yells out the wrong name in the heat of things?

1. Momo Hinamori. She apologizes the moment she realizes and is fucking horrified. Really, she has no feelings for [redacted] anymore. She doesn’t know what happened. If she could, she’d go into witness protection.

2. Shunsui Kyoraku. Especially if you’re not romancing something heavy and are a one night stand. He tries to laugh it off, rubbing the back of neck and shrugging like it’s a ‘what can you do?’ moment. If you are romantically involved he will get drunk and depressed about it later on--just another reason he doesn’t deserve you.

3. Shuhei Hisagi. He might be thinking about the Seireitei Bulletin or about that party later tonight that you were both invited to and blurt out a name. Like, ‘holy shit titstitstitstits also the captain invited me to drinks later holy FUCK wow that feels soooo good -chan you fucking goddess fuckfuck oh right Captain--’, kind of train of thought. He boards the apology train and makes all the stops--flowers, heartfelt words, physical affection, an alright song cover with his guitar.

4. Uryu Ishida. In his defense, you were roleplaying and he simply called out your character’s name. This will happen a lot. It’s pretty hot, actually.

5. Isshin Kurosaki. It doesn’t happen a lot but sometimes he calls out his first wife’s name and it’s just something you have to live with. Just sad and unfunny and horrifying.

Who sends you to the 4th division via indecent blinding?

1. Renji Abarai. King of awkward good intentions, he leads your blind ass to the 4th division and waits by your side like a puppy waiting for punishment. He just gets really excited and forgot aiming was important. You insist it wasn’t as bad as the time he shot his load up your nose, though.

2. Akon. In his defense, you were playing with VR headsets and he shot his load in good faith while getting an imaginary face full of 3D anime waifu titties. He can’t imagine taking this to his captain and rushes you to the 4th division before anyone in the 12th can spot him.

3. Nanao Ise. She holds a lot of stress, so when she lets go, the result is usually a ridiculous amount of squirting. She leads you down deserted streets and disappears when anyone shows up, leaving you standing while blinded for like minutes at a time. She would rather die than have her peers find out and leaves you at the 4th division the moment they’ve written you down for intake.

4. Rangiku Matsumoto. She really likes to ride your face and it is simply not her fault that you aid and abet her. Of course if you’re going to play slip’n’slide so often, something is bound to go wrong. She leads you down to the 4th and if she sees someone she knows she’ll call out like ‘haha, guess what?’. It is the second time this month.

5. Shukuro Tsukishima + Gin Ichimaru. They didn’t do it on accident. Gin probably did it out of boredom, just to see you squirm and try to make your way to the 4th with him assisting....barely. Shukuro does it because you tried to tease him about his cooking or something and this is revenge. Have fun finding your way to the 4th by your own power.