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mybworlds · 2 months ago

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Here we go

Pairing: jackson!joel miller x f!reader (no use of Y/N)

Summary: You, after a very long trip alone across the country, arrive in Jackson. Joel is a very lonely man and after Ellie broke up with him, he's even more alone and grumpy. Tommy and Maria decide that you're going to stay at Joel's house for a while, at least until more houses are built. Will your cohabitation be easy? Or will it be more complicated than everyone thinks?

Warnings: use of alcohol, loneliness, violence, blood, lots of sexually explicit content, the main characters spy on each other, use of you, the image of the female character has the sole purpose of representing the character, but you can imagine her however you want, no physical description of the female character except for long hair often gathered in a ponytail or braid.

Masterlist

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Thx for the dividers @saradika-graphics

Living with Joel is very difficult, you avoid each other and when you meet each other he looks up and snorts and then changes direction.

You try to be nice to him, to make him find some things in order while he's out and about, but when he comes back, he yells at you from downstairs not to touch his fucking stuff.

You find rare comfort in Maria and sometimes in Tommy when he comes to call his brother and with the excuse asks you how you are, what you are doing and also asks you how his brother is behaving. You haven't told him that he's aggressive sometimes, you don't know exactly what their relationship is and so you just say it's fine with a shrug of your shoulders.

Maria invited you to go to Tipsy Bison a few times and you shyly accepted. Going out like you used to is absolutely strange and seems anything but normal. You and her drink tea and mostly she talks about her, her life, about Tommy, you find out that the two are together and you smile. Again.

“You have such a beautiful smile, you should do it often!” she exclaims, smiling too and making your smile widen.

You start leaving the house, many times a day. You often go to Tipsy Bison where you have breakfast at a table aside, you have lunch there too and you eat as much as you can and sometimes you hide the food and eat it later. Although it seems that you are safe here, your fears still do not leave you. That pain continues to chase you, to not let you breath.

But when you go out, you also go around the city. It's all so absurd. So beautiful. Too beautiful.

People look at you, observe you, some are suspicious, they think who knows what plot you have in mind, others are curious and they make you feel welcome.

One afternoon, while you are out and about, you come across a young woman. It's Dina, a very lively young girl. She's propably around 20s, she has got black hair usually tied back in a ponytail, she has a light dusting of freckles on her face and a huge smile spread on her face. She talks a lot and for some reason she immediately likes you. There is an unusual harmony between you right from the start and this doesn't displease you, on the contrary.

She talks to you a lot about herself and you slowly introduce yourself, you find yourself sharing a few memories here and there and it's not a bad thing after all. At least with her.

After a few days, while you're sitting at Tipsy Bison, she greets you "Hey stranger,"

“Hey,” you greet her before sipping a glass of water.

“What d' you drink?” she asks smiling to you.

“Jus' water,” you answer putting the glass on the table.

“Okay,” she says before sit cross legged on the wooden chair as if she owns that place “Look, I know you came here to live in the most peaceful way your life, but I need your help. . .”

“What is it?” you ask frowning.

“Maybe, I'm asking a lot, but we need some supplies in the woods, I'd go, but I don't feel so good in the last few days.”

“Uhm, I don't know. . . I mean,” you sigh looking everywhere but her “What should I do?” you ask frightned all of a sudden. Like you've never gone into the woods hunting or something.

“You won't be alone, there will be other patrolmen with you,” you nod looking down and forcing to push your fear away “Come, I want to introduce you to someone.”

You go with her to Jesse's house, while Dina tries to convince you to join the other patrolmen.

Jesse apparently is her boyfriend, or something, he's really a cool guy and, like Dina, he always smiles and spreads good vibes wherever he goes, according to Dina.

“Come in, hey you're the new one, right?” he greets both of you giving a big hug to Dina and a handshake to you, then he lets you go inside and together the three of you go to his studio, there are a lot of wooden furnitures - like in Joel's house, but unlike Joel's there aren't guitars on the wall or wood carvings - there are lots of books, there are so many, wow. You're impressed.

“You like it?” Jesse asks you, you turn to him and see he has a warm smile on his face. He's a cool guy with dark hair and brown eyes.

“Uhm. . .? Yeah, a lot. Wow.” you reply turning your back on him and looking at the library again.

“I took all the books I could during the last patrols in the city,” he informs you.

“Super,” you answer smiling once again and feeling a warm feeling spread inside you, it's so good.

“He'll let you read all the books you can, now please pay attention,” Dina calls you back to the reason the both of you are there “Okay,” she starts showing you a map marked by red circles “I marked all the best places to find wood, hares, rabbits, maybe you need a couple of hours,”

“Dina, woods are so big, the two of us and other two patrolmen won't be enough, maybe we needs someone else,” Jesse says.

“Well, Ellie is with Tommy to the North right now, there's Joel but. . .”

“Yeah, I agree.” Jesse replies thrilled, while in the meantime you say “No, way.”

“Why not?” Jesse asks sadly.

“Isn't your roommate, or something like that?” Dina asks.

“Well, we share a roof, but we are not roommates or drinking buddies, no way!” you say “The less we see each other, the better.” you add rolling your eyes.

“He could be a little grumpy, I grant you. But, he's a good patrolman and right now we need him.”

“Yes, he knows how to use the gun better than anyone else!” Jess adds thrilled.

"“Okay, you are a super fan of Joel, but not me!” you clarify “And also, we promised each other to not interfere with one another’s life,” you add again “I won't start now.”

“Well, you are not supposed to watch his back. Everyone for oneself.” Dina tries to convince you.

You sway nervously biting your lower lip, “Well,” Jess adds, “I'll be with you, Joel will be with someone else, okay?” you nod lowering your head.

“Damn, he must be a terrible roommate! I wonder how Ellie did!” Dina exclaims.

“Ellie?” you ask frowning.

“Ellie is. . . how can I say? Uhm, she was like. . . a daughter to Joel, they were always together as if they were really a father and daughter, then she. . . started to avoid him, I mean no more talks, no more movie nights, no more patrols together, none of this anymore!” Dina tells you and you start to realize why he stares out the window every night.

“She's still around, isn't she?” you ask making your gaze wander from Jesse to Dina, she nods and then she adds “She lives in his garage, well it's not a garage anymore, but you got it,” you nod and understand even more who Joel looks at, but why. . .?

Wait, no, no, no, it's none of your business, remember his words!

“Okay, so when do we start?” you ask.

Jesse and Dina smile to each other.

Early in the morning of that same day, Joel goes to his brother and sits down in a chair on Tommy and Maria's porch.

“You know, I was thinking maybe you should do a little more community works,” Tommy begins, while Joel snorts “Yeah, well the others are starting to wonder why you don't do anything for the others. I don't want them to think there are favoritisms.”

Joel rolls his eyes, “You're such a pain in the ass! What am I supposed to do?” he asks him.

Tommy smiles and shakes his head, “You could start doing some patrols, we have to go on a patrol in an hour to get some supplies from the woods,”

Joel sighs.

“I know you prefer to keep to your own business, but here everyone has to do his part and unfortunately since you're often drunk, no one feels safe in letting you build houses.” Joel looks down “Bro, I know you're suffering, but you need help.”

Joel turns his gaze towards the door of his brother's place almost fearing that Maria was lurking there somewhere.

“I mean it,” Tommy insists. “Lemme help you, or at least let that poor girl at your house do it,”

“Oh, no forget it! She's just a pain in the ass. I don't care about her at all, I can't wait for her to go away.”

“Joel,” his brother calls him back “she suffered a lot too, like you.”

“Like everyone else.” the elder points out.

“Of course,” Tommy goes silent.

“What?” Joel frowns and looks at his brother's face.

“She has a terrible backstory, y'know.”

Joel looks at his brother “She told ya?”

“No. She told Maria a few things, from my understanding, her backstory haunts her. She has a so sad face all the time and she always walks alone.”

“Maybe she just wants to keep to her own business,” Joel says frowning.

Tommy mumbles, “I dunno, have you ever talked to her? You are her roommate and maybe she talks with ya.”

“Mhm. . .” Joel mumbles “We are forcefully roommates, y'know.”

“Yeah, but maybe you could help each other.”

“Oh no, no, no. I know that look and no, I've already been through this situation and no good can come from it.”

“Joel,” Tommy looks at his brother “I know you're talkin' about Ellie, but you can't live this way, no good can come from it. You are so alone and I'm so worried about ya, please you need help. That girl needs help too, you could help each other, please, think about it.” his brother insists.

“Let's come to us, now what should I do?” he asks, getting up from the chair.

“Take part in this patrol in the woods, wait for the others near the fence, okay? I'll join you next time.” Joel nods as he walks away.

Joel walks briskly at least until Tommy can see him, then he slows down. He sighs, then he thinks back to you and your sad look, that often scared expression, the way you jumped when you saw him in the kitchen. He noticed but he never cared to know the reason for that look of yours or when you see him. It's okay that he became barbaric by being alone, but maybe it's not just that.

Joel wonders who knows what you saw, what you experienced, why you are always so sad and scared and as he thinks about this he also wonders why he is even asking this.

Joel does as his brother told him, he waits the other patrolmen next to the fence that forms the border with the rest of the world.

He thinks strangely of you again: he didn't hear you wandering around the first floor this morning, not that he cared if he can't see or hear you, so much the better. You're just a burden. A hitch to his daily life.

When he sees some patrolmen such as Vasquez, Fraser, Smith he breaths a sigh of relief, this patrol will be as easy as breathing. Then he sees Jesse and he smiles, he loves that kid. Part of him hopes that there might be something between Ellie and Jesse one day, who knows. Then he sees you on horseback and his smile fades away.

“Whatcha doing here?” he asks abruptly when you and Jesse come close to him.

“Relax, I won't be with you.” you reply barely looking to him.

“Joel, easy, man.” says Jesse approaching Joel and the other three men, “So Joel and Vasquez go east, Smith and Fraser go west, 'bout you and me” he tells you “we go north, okay?”

“Agree.” the men reply.

“Move.” says Joel to Vasquez, but before he tells you “This is not a nice walk in the woods, sweetheart y'know?”

“Shut up,” you reply avoiding his look.

“Y'know, there are clickers and stalkers outta here,” he adds, you hum rolling your eyes “Try not to be a burden for Jesse,” he adds again before get over you a few steps.

“Hey,” you say “you don't need to be such an asshole all the time,” he turns his horse to look at you, he frowns “I know, you don't care 'bout me, okay. I get it. I know you can't stand me, okay. But, why? I didn't do anything to you. You don't know my story, you don't know. . .” you sigh closing your eyes “No, never mind.” you add get over Joel and reach Jesse.

“Here we go,” you say with a little smile to Jesse before to go to the woods.

Joel lowers his gaze, he can't stand you since you abruptly enter his life, but most of all he hates himself, he's so alone and be alone it's probably his only chance to survive. Survive himself. Another person with a painful past, Joel doesn't believe he can heal you.

As he supposed, their patrol is extremely quiet, Vasquez and Joel find at least a couple of hares which they kill with two gunshots which inevitably attract some infected who are in the surrounding area.

There's nothing to worry about, Joel decides to explore the area a little more just to see if there is anything else useful. Vasquez instead immediately goes back.

Two patrolmen are not supposed to leave one behind, or at least that's what Joel had heard, but Vasquez's wife is pregnant so Joel told him to move forward and that he would join him soon.

The truth is that he wants to be alone for a while and maybe he might even find something useful. Joel is in thick vegetation now. His horse is starting to get restless yet there is no sign of infected or traps, but its restlessness increases.

At yet another clatter, the horse goes berserk and unseats Joel who fortunately falls backwards onto some mud, but bad luck has it that the horse runs away towards the direction from which Joel comes.

“Fuck,” he moans, touching his head with a painful expression. It's getting up when someone kicks him and makes him fall back, “Stay still or I'll blow your brain out!” exclaims a guy who points a gun to his head.

Life is funny, almost a month ago, he put a gun to his own head and now it’s someone else who is doing so.

But life is a bitch and one way or another it always forces you to live and keep fighting.

Joel suddenly turns around taking the fellow by surprise, the guy shoots, luckly the shot misses Joel, he tries again, but Joel is faster and disarms him making him drop the gun. A little awkwardly, Joel tries to reach for the gun, but the dude reaches him and blocks him by holding his neck with both hands. He's choking Joel. Joel vision's blurry, he's gasping for breath, he waves his hands furiously to free himself from the grip that's becoming more and more suffocating, when he's about to faint, he hears the whistle of an arrow and then the very strong grip on his throat ceases.

Joel coughs and breathes deeply, even having a little difficulty in immediately starting to breathe normally again, he sees a figure who saved him approaching him “Ellie?”

“No, asshole, it's me.” you tell him, turning him onto his back.

He opens and closes his eyes many times without ever losing sight of you. He looks at you sideways and seems almost disappointed. You look so strong, so. . .

You stand there next to him, he sees you zigzag your gaze from him to the guy who attacked him and who now lies there on his side with an arrow stuck in his neck and his head in a pool of blood.

He sees you swallowing and looking distressed.

“Fuck, you shouldn't have! I could have done it myself!” he exclaims, sitting down.

“Sorry if I ruined your ego, macho man, but it seemed to me that you weren't doing well and if I hadn't intervened. . .”

“Jesus. . .” he shakes his head, standing up.

“Thanks for saving me, right?”

He rolls his eyes, “Where's your horse?” he asks you starting to walk away.

“You're welcome, by the way” you say in a sigh.

You walk behind him, he touches the nape of his neck and from time to time he sighs, what is he thinking about? Why he looks so sad and annoyed at the same time?

You don't think it's all your fault. Maybe it was this Ellie who brought him down. . .

You reach your horse a few minutes later, he tries to be the first to horse, but you glance to him an unmistakable look and so he desists.

You are sure he wouldn't hold to you if he could, but he has to. His hands are so big against your hips, you gulp and try to focus on your way back, but mind is a mysterious thing so you can't help but think about Ralph. . . what he did to you. . . what you thought about him and you, oh fuck you Joel!

“Can't wait to sleep tonight!” he says all of a sudden.

“Yeah?” you try to be nice “It sounds good,”

“I'll go in my bed for once,” he continues in a whisper.

“You don't?”

He mumbles something unintelligible and falls silent.

Joel has just talked to much to you, there's one thing he appreciates about you: you don't talk. And as long as you do, it's okay for him. He won't be the one to talk. Even though Ellie's and Tommy's words touched his heart. . . more or less.

The evening comes and a habit the two of you have is to have dinner in separate rooms, you eat in the kitchen, he does in his living room. It's a perfect balance the two of you have right now. You don't talk, don't look at each other, don't share a room, it's perfect for both of you.

If you have made progress in some aspects, in others this is not the case at all. Your nightmares are always there. . .

His dripping blood from your hands, he's choking, his eyes wide open, he tries to speak to you, you stare to him, your expression is unreadable, that bloody shard of glass at your feet, he's dying and you look at him waiting for his death. . .

You wake up screaming and beating your hands on someone who wakes you up, you open your eyes and the light on your bedside table is on so you can see Joel who is looking at you with a worried look.

“‘s okay, ‘s okay, it was a nightmare.” you sit in the middle of your bed and you realize you’re sweating, you take a few deep breaths, your eyes closed, “d’ ya want a glass of water?”

You nod while you rub your eyes.

Joel walks away to come back a few moments later with a full glass of water and handing it to you, “Thanks.” you whisper with your head down.

“How you feel?” he asks you for the first time and you look up at him with a surprised look on you face “Don’ look surprised, I'm askin’ for politeness. . .” he clarifies.

Sure.

“Good.” you reply returning the glass.

“Good,” he says grasping the cup “so I can sleep now!” he grunts going away and closing the door behind him.

You take other deep breaths before to turn your light off, you can't sleep, those scenes are right there before your eyes.

You hold your t-shirt in the fist of your hand and you stare at the ceiling, dimly lit by the street lights. Your heart is still beating fast and those scenes. . . A tear rolls down your cheek, you quickly wipe it away and sniff.

It's okay, you're safe, he can't touch you anymore, you take a deep breath and then close your eyes.

You wake up the next day with sunlight and the smell of coffee in your nostrils.

You stretch and then get up, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Then leave your room and you go down, the familiar creaking of the staircase announces your arrival to Joel and he, as soon as he hears you usually runs away from the kitchen, but not today.

This morning he's leaning against the kitchen absently sipping his coffee. When he sees you, he looks up and immediately meets your eyes. You lower your gaze suddenly feeling embarrassed the fact that he saw you in such a delicate moment as tonight makes you uncomfortable.

You feel his gaze on you, while you pretend to ignore him completely.

“Your cup ‘s in the pantry,” he barks, while you nod, pretending that he probably didn’t hear you screaming in your sleep last night.

You raise your eyes meeting Joel's who is looking at you silently, when he sees you're looking at him, he lowers his gaze and he looks somewhere but you.

You get your cup in the pantry and close the door. You pour what it's supposed to be a tea, its taste is awful but it's better than meet Joel's eyes right now, “You like it?” Joel asks.

“Yeah, I love it.” you reply keeping your head down.

It's a lie, you would say anything to avoid his gaze.

He grumbles, but he doesn't add another word to you. It's okay.

Joel, since you had that nightmare, often looks at your face and notices the way your eyes changes expression.

You want to tell him to stop looking at you like that, but Maria's words resonate within you.

Be nice.

He almost never prepares anything to eat or when he does he prepares dinner just for him and so most of the time you go to Tipsy Bison to buy something.

One evening you decide to prepare dinner, you want to prepare some eggs with bacon, you set the table and even put some flowers on the table.

You know that you and Joel always eat separately, but you want to try to do something nice. For him and for you too.

Thinking about this, you get distracted and burn all the food, the pan has to be thrown away and the kitchen is in danger of catching fire.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Joel snaps, putting out the fire with a fire extinguisher.

You're more scared of the fire than of Joel's tone or words, you're getting used to it by now.

“So?!” he continues after putting down the fire extinguisher and glaring at you “You never cease to amaze me! For the worse.” he says shaking his head “You know what? I don't give a shit.” having said this you see him disappear with a bottle in his hands.

The kitchen is in bad shape and the only thing that has survived are the flowers chosen to embellish the table.

You feel stupid.

So stupid.

For a moment you believed that your relationship with Joel could change for the better but instead.

Your mastery with the bow has caused quite a stir in Jackson, now many of those who still looked at you with distrust greet you either by raising their hand or with a nod of their head.

Dina, certainly more of a party animal, loud and fond of partying, would have liked to take you around with pride and triumph, but you always refused.

“I think the old man you live with is influencing you too much!” she exclaims one day, since you refused to be dragged by Tipsy Bison to drink.

“Dina, you know I don't like drinking,” you try to protest.

“But if you don't try it, you'll never know!” she replies in front of Joel's porch.

“Well, I used to. . . before,” you add looking everywhere but her “I don't wanna talk about that,” you add looking towards the door as if sensing Joel's presence somewhere beyond the door.

“All right, don't. But you dunno what you miss, see you around, stranger.” she greets you by waving her hand and walking away.

You sit on a step in front of the porch and uncover part of your wrist, the cuts and scars from that long terrible night are still visible on you, you close your eyes while you still seem to hear your own footsteps along the dark streets of Boston's QZ, you open again your eyes, no it hurts too much.

The main door opens and Joel stomps out past you as if you didn't exist. As usual, but a few steps later he stops, remains still for a few seconds, then turns towards you, “Can you not destroy the house for a couple of hours?” he asks you sharply.

“Course,” you tell him, looking into his eyes for a moment before looking back at your now worn out shoes.

You see him rocking from foot to foot as if he were going to tell you something else, “Is there anything else?” you ask him using almost his own tone of voice.

“No, nothing,” he replies abruptly, “Look after the house.” he adds before to turn his back on you.

“Sure,” you whisper.

It's almost autumn when you meet Ellie.

You're sitting like so many times on the steps in front of Joel's porch. Your knees pulled close to your chest and your head down, when a movement catches your attention: a girl of about eighteen, dark hair tied in a ponytail and wearing a hoodie and jeans, she walks briskly towards what you learned was Joel's garage.

She must have sensed your gaze on her because she stops and walks towards you. Your senses are immediately alerted because you don't know her and you don't know what reaction she might have.

“Why are you staring at me? Who are you? What do you want?” Ellie asks you aggressively.

“Sorry,” you say, rubbing your knees nervously “I just didn't know there was anyone there,” you add, pointing with your chin towards the garage.

Ellie frowns and then looks at your face, “Yeah, I live there. And you're Joel's new roommate, aren't you?”

“Sort of,” you say, nodding.

“So, have you become friends?” a small bitter smile appears on your face.

“Absolutely not. If the two of us don't see each other it's better.” you reply looking straight ahead.

“So you don't know?” she asks you.

“About what?” you ask her perplexed.

“Um, nothing, forget it. Anyway, I'm Ellie,” she introduces herself, you introduce yourself too “So how's Joel? I mean as a roommate. . .” she asks.

“Well, he's coldly kind. It could be worse!” you retort.

Ellie grins and then scoffs “Tsk, yeah it sounds like him.” she says sitting on your same step, but far enough to run away as soon as she can.

You don't talk for a couple of minutes, the two of you are studying each other sneaking, “Who chose to let you stay here?” Ellie asks “I'm sure Joel didn't.”

You nod, “It was Maria and Tommy's idea,”

“I'll bet,” Ellie replies “Well,” she gets up “Joel is someone full of surprises, he can be very protective, but an asshole too,” she adds.

A little smile comes over your face, “I'm tryin’ to guess the protector Joel Miller side ‘cause he looks anything but this.”

“Give him some time,” she says “Sooner or later, that side of him will come out,” she adds “So, uhm. . . see you around,” she says taking her leave.

“See ya,” you greet her and then you are alone once again.

NEXT CHAPTER ➢

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fueledbysano · 2 years ago

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𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊! bachira, nagi, rin, chigiri

blue lock boys giving you the second button of their uniform— a way of boys in Japan to express or confess their love for the person they admire. *second button: representing one's love

♱ ft. bachira, nagi, rin, chigiri

♱ content/warnings: gn!reader, university au, fluff, romance, making out.

♱ a/n: my blue lock debut piece! I'd love to write for a lot more of them but since this is my first time writing for the fandom, I'm trying out my skills first with my favorite boys. I really loved writing this one, here's for more!

♡ tags; @tokyometronetwork @blueparadis

♡ bachira

Bachira is a sports scholar of the university, which means he prioritizes his duties in the soccer team over academics. And you were an irregular student, since you came from a different university to shift majors. You have been friends with Bachira since the beginning of the semester because of your shared “weird” schedule compared to the other students in your year. When he is in the field, you’re on the benches, waiting for him to finish to attend your special class together, or just simply killing time together at a fast food or park. Bachira genuinely thought that he'd be a loner when he first stepped foot in the university, but you made sure he never was. Which he appreciated in so many ways, so he started returning the favor by tailing you at all times too.

You weren't sure if it was simply a kind gesture, or he was genuinely intrigued with getting close with you. The thing is.. You were catching feelings for the boy. And it will change the course of your relationship. But you were actually the first one to confess.

“Fine, I’ll do it.” You turn to Isagi, a mutual friend of you and Meguru. “Really?” He sounded amazed, finally proud that you acted on your feelings towards Bachira. You have been telling Isagi about how you wanted to “confess” to Bachira without having to stress on a cheesy message that high schoolers do, until Isagi gave you an idea of giving Bachira your name tag, a form of confession of girls to boys in Korea.

“[ Y / N ], this is for you!” Bachira yelled from the field as he dribbled, then kicked the ball straight to the goal. You smiled at him and stuck your thumbs out to cheer him on. “It’s all going to go well. I think he likes you too.” Isagi said as he stood up. “Who knows, maybe you’ll spend Valentine’s together!” He teased before jogging back to the field.

You didn’t exactly plan on how you will hand your tag to him. Should you do it like the ones on TV? Call him to a special place and then hand it to him? You tried to think of different places as you walked down the halls, running your thumb over the embroidered letters of your name on the patch.

At the corner of your eye, you spot the lockers outside the gym. You stopped your tracks when you realized that Bachira had one of those. Searching for his name, you slipped your name tag in between the thin gaps of the locker and hoped for the best.

That night, you shut your phone off out of anxiety and decided to check it by tomorrow, when he’s probably seen your little gift to him. However, your body froze when his name still didn’t show up in your messages. Hasn’t he seen it yet? Or, maybe, he did… You waited all day for a message, heck, for him to even knock on your door but there was nothing.

What if he just didn’t know what it meant? Maybe he’ll just return it when you see each other again which is… in two days. However, when you showed up in the field on Monday, bachira was nowhere to be found. Isagi also mentioned that the boy was barely texting over the weekend, which was the last straw in making you panic.

“I dropped the name tag in his locker! What if— what if he saw it and he’s avoiding me now?!” You held onto Isagi’s shoulders. “Wait, what?!” He exclaimed. “Okay, maybe I am a pussy for not giving it in person—” You rambled, until you noticed that Isagi’s eyes trailed behind you. “[ Y / N ], someone’s looking for you.” He spoke. You look at him in confusion before turning to your back. Bachira had just arrived and quietly looked at you, and then went back to Isagi.

“[ Y / N ], can we talk?” He finally asks. “Yeah, sure.” You were obviously nervous. You’ve never felt this tense with Bachira before, especially when the both of you were dead silent as you headed to the campus gardens.

“Well, First of all, I’m sorry—” For what simultaneously felt like a second and eternity, your mind jumped into the worst case scenario— a rejection. However, your mind quickly went back to reality when he continued talking. “There were lots of clothes in my locker and I believe this got buried at the bottom.” He held your name tag up with a sly smile. “I got sick over the weekend and didn’t see it until this morning, so… I’m sorry.” He chuckled.

“Oh… yeah, no worries.” You casually chuckled. “No, I definitely made you worried. My bad.” He insisted. You stood for a moment and looked into each other's eyes in silence before he reached for his shirt pocket, and handed you something.

Now that he knows for a fact that you reciprocate his feelings, he was confident. Before he went to you, Bachira called his mom and she gave her just the right push to show you just how much he adores you the same way you did.

You felt your body heat up when you realized it was the second button of his uniform shirt, sitting on the palm of your hand. Bachira had a shy smile as he watched you react to his response. “So… it’s Valentine’s day tomorrow and… I was wondering if you want to go out with me…” Bachira thought it was perfect timing and reason to ask you out, something he’d been on the fence for over a while now.

“Well, we always go out, but, I want to—” You reached your hands up to Bachira’s soft cheeks and offered him your lips before feeling him pull your chin towards him gently and eventually envelop his lips with yours. You kissed fiercely, smiling at each other's mouths.

“Of course, I do.” You whispered and hooked your finger into his belt loop and pulled him into a deeper kiss

♡ nagi

Nagi was quick to realize his feelings for you, especially after Isagi teased him for blushing when you practically threw yourself into him for a hug when the team you were cheering for won the game. He wasn’t particularly fond of all the blushing when he unexpectedly meets you in the hallways or trying to speak to you without his heart racing.

So he decided on confessing to you, but he wasn't quite sure how. Nagi is a simple man, he wanted it forward, but memorable. The fact that he wasn’t sure of your romantic preferences was what makes him nervous and taking quite long.

The thoughts of his confession continued to haunt him, he would overthink about different scenarios during practice, and one time he even messed up a level in his game because he thought of you thinking he was too corny. Thankfully, the boys cut him some slack as they understand what he’s going through, at the same time, helping him think of ways to confess and ensuring he is cool enough to pull you.

On the other hand, you were clueless why Nagi started to suddenly choke on his words around you, but you think it was cute. One thing you liked doing for Nagi is watching his soccer matches. He is highly motivated in the field and took the game seriously. But when you walk up to him with a bottle of energy drink after every match, he’s back to being the shy boy, especially when his teammates not-so-secretly cheer and holler at your little interaction.

“Hey, Nagi? Wanna get something to eat before going home?” You looked up at him hopefully. You lived close to him, but he lived further away from the university than you did. So you often walked each other home for convenience. With the exception of the one incident when Nagi started dozing off and you had to tow him along while he was seated on a skateboard.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Fried chicken?” You grinned at him. At this, Nagi smiled a little, but said nothing more. You two walked slowly out of the campus, and towards the place. The rest of the time, as you both ate, you spoke about somewhat common subjects like your weekend plans or any antics of his teammates.

Nagi was contemplating how he could get the most out of this conversation, despite how much he wanted to hear you exclaim with excitement about your plans. Maybe after all, you were the final push he needed for his confession all along. Your heart felt like it was going to catch fire as Nagi appeared to mirror the sea of emotion that was in your eyes while he carefully listened to what you had to say.

You both finished your meals, Nagi insisted on paying the check, and you left the restaurant into the chilly evening air. “What’s the occasion?” You giggle when you put your coat on, and then meet Nagi’s serious expression.

If he’s not scared, he’s not taking a chance.

And if he’s not taking a chance… then what the hell is he doing?

“[ Y / N ]...”

“Yeah?” Nagi now had everything planned out. The dinner was his treat, and tomorrow after class, he'll simply let the button of his uniform speak to you. “I’m going to confess to you tomorrow so wait for me after school, okay?” The anxiety was long gone but most certainly not the honesty. You were equally amazed and perplexed by his words. It was already a confession, wasn't it?

“Oi, why are you all smiley?” Nagi still doesn't realize his mistake of blurting out what was on his mind. “Because…. You already confessed to me.” You chuckled, looking up at him with a thin smile. “Eh—” Nagi recalled the words in his mind and had an internal panic attack. “F-forget what I said—”

“No, I refuse to forget that.” You took a step closer towards Nagi before slowly taking his right hand that redeemed all the terror in his system. “Tell me…” You spoke softly, toying with the collar of his coat. And so with an exhale, Nagi pulled on the second button of his school uniform before taking it to your hand that was intertwined with his, “one’s most beloved person.” He decreed.

You felt Nagi's hands raise your chin up, and before you could say anything, you felt his lips on yours. As you moved your lips against his, he waited patiently for your consent before proceeding. At first, Nagi’s eyes were a tangle of turmoil and both of yours were wide with optimism. You move forward towards him and put your hands up around his neck as you close your eyes in happiness.

The risk was worth it.

♡ rin

Three weeks had already passed since you were left hanging by a potential love figure; Rin Itoshi. And up to this day, you still feel like being swallowed to the ground every time you recall the memory. It all started when you happened to share drinks with him at an afterparty, in celebration of the win of their team in the national tournaments.

And with the help of alcohol, you had his number by the end of the night and started talking to him since then. Rin isn’t too much of a dry texter like anyone would assume, but definitely isn’t talkative either. Your usual greetings and ranting about your professors grew into telling how each other’s days went, sending pictures of something cool you saw, and even an unexpected shirtless mirror selfie of him in the locker room after a game.

It was like winning the lottery, really. Knowing that other people at campus died to even get his attention.

Just when things seemed to go smoothly with Rin, you finally agreed to go on a date together in a simple cafe just around the town. However, when you arrived at the hour you agreed on, he was nowhere to be found. He never arrived that night, nor did you message him ever again; you were too embarrassed and angry to bitch out on him, knowing well that having hard feelings with Rin never ends well.

So you ignored him on campus as best as you can. You were doing good with your mission, until the day of your senior trip arrived. You were unfortunately sat next to him on the bus. Rin didn’t show it, but he was floored. He didn’t dare to spare a glance towards your way, and neither did you. He was the one who stood you up, why is he the one acting smug? Rin remained unbothered and had his eyes peered on the cars and trees passing by, oblivious of the dagger stares you were now throwing at him.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” He spoke up and offered you an ear bud, still not making sure contact. “Oh, so we’re talking again?” You blurt, audibly upset with him. “I’m being nice.” Rin sighed. “I don’t wanna watch your stupid movie.” You spat and turned your back to him. “Have fun getting bored for the next four hours.” He spoke smugly. “Dick.” You mumbled and threw your hoodie over your head.

Rin knows what you were doing. You had every right to act the way you do towards him, just as he anticipated. He knows that there was nothing he could do about it, so he didn’t bother to even plan out a conversation with you. However, He wished that he would have dealt with things differently. You did not deserve to be stood up on that date and it is unfair of him to act like nothing happened. For the first time in his life— Itoshi Rin was conflicted and unsure.

You slowly fell into slumber as the bus’ movement rocked you like a baby. However, you shifted halfway through your sleep and fell right onto Rin’s shoulder. He wasn’t oblivious of this, but let you get comfortable in his touch anyways. Rin felt tense, startled, even. And you weren’t even awake. He was debating whether to rest his head on yours too, but before he could act, the bus was already pulling over at the beach resort you were heading to.

You woke up feeling suspiciously comfortable, realizing where you have been sleeping for the last hour. “Thought I had to drag you out of here.” Rin already had your bags in his hand. You threw him a quick thanks before heading straight to your respective room, loathing how you let yourself fall asleep on Rin’s shoulder for god knows how long. He probably thinks that you’re still chasing after him.

Shortly, you were now dipped in the pool with your friends and classmates. You knew you had to emerge when your fingers started to prune. You were surprised that Rin didn’t come along, considering that his friends, Aryu and Tokimitsu, were around. You were ready to call it a night until some guys in your year invited you to their room for drinks. Everyone seemed to be headed there right now, but you weren’t particularly in the mood for partying.

“I’m gonna have to pass tonight. I hope there's one tomorrow?” You awkwardly smiled at the visibly drunk guys. “Come on, we’ll make sure you have fun alright.” One of them spoke and took you by the wrist. “H-hey, I said I’m fine.” You tried to turn but the other guys were already blocking your way. “Scram. Junichi, Keisuke.” A voice coming from the staircase startled the brothers.

“[ Y / N ]’s coming with me. Leave us.” Rin’s first instinct was to cover your soaked swimwear and skin with his varsity jacket. “I totally had that.” You scoffed. “Come on, not even a ‘thank you’?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m really upset with you, you know?” You blurt with a sigh. “You’ve made that very obvious.” Rin flatly spoke, before breathing out, “You’re the only one in this university to genuinely get my interest.” “I didn’t show up because… I wanted to be sure.”He added. “Sure of what?”

He was forward, but you liked how he also conformed into the button-giving confession style. You weren’t sure if Rin had picked up on you being a hopeless romantic, but it worked. “Be mine.” Rin said with a heartstopping smirk that showed just enough of his smile, the button to his uniform pinched in between his index and middle finger. You had no words at Rin’s sudden confession.

You felt your cheeks heat up as he leaned closer to you, slowly backing you against the wall. “Rin—” You whimpered at his touch, but his eyes glistened with adoration and lust, for none other than you. Rin leaned down slowly, his eyes only focused on your lips as he pressed his own softly to yours.

♡ chigiri

The most hesitant. He didn't really feel the need to tell you since he believed that his feelings for you were simply a passing infatuation, nothing more than a silly memory he would laugh about as you grow up. This just gave him the courage to openly express his feelings for you, which seemed to have succeeded given the energy you reciprocated.

However, when his accident happened, it was no secret that it took a toll on his career and relationship, including yours. Yet, it also truly astounded him and made him understand that you weren't simply just a silly crush.

You assisted him with his physical therapy when his family was unable to do so, you didn't get angry when he demanded space, you never missed an opportunity to distract him from his injury even just for the slightest second, and most importantly— you treated him in the same manner as before rather than looking at him with pity like other people might have.

You are the calm in the middle of the storm; and something about it just served to deepen his feelings for you. Chigiri believes that you made him better when he was back in the field in no time. However, bittersweet news came when he was offered an opportunity in Blue Lock.

You were often inside his mind during his entire stay in the project; wondering how you fared on your own, and also hoping that no one’s replaced his place in your life.

So when he finished his goals at the project, he wasted no time in coming back home to his family, and you. However, a long time has passed and you have gone off to college in a different city. Chigiri's mother strongly encouraged him to follow suit and get a sports scholarship, considering that the term just started as well.

You missed Chigiri dearly, but proud of all his accomplishments in the Blue Lock project. So when you mother informed you that he had returned and is attending your university, you pulled every string you could to find out which program he took and where the hell he was; bringing you here to room 505 of the boys’ dormitory. “Damnit, it’s real.” The words barely came out of your mouth. Chigiri changed since the last time you saw him; the hair framing his face grew significantly longer, his body grew a more lean frame, and grew some height.

“[ Y / N ]!” Chigiri is floored, to say the least; finding you at his doorstep. He didn’t show it, but his heart was racing as you studied each other’s faces. He had been meaning to look for you but getting settled in took much of his time, but here you were now. “Mom told me that you went here and I never really saw you around—”

“It’s okay.” Chigiri held you in a big embrace and let you giggle over his shoulder before uttering a quick “Hi.” “So, I heard that you just got in?” You asked “Yeah.” “I never knew you were coming home.” You admitted. “Well, we have time before the next cup.” Chigiri explained, rubbing soft circles on your back.

“I’m so proud of you.” You smiled before pulling away. “How about we get some karinto and I’ll show you around?” You offered. “They serve karinto here?!” He exclaimed, mouth almost watering at the thought of his favorite dish that he hasn't had in so long. “Why else do you think I chose this school?” You remarked. “I’ll get my coat!”

You didn't seem to run out of things to tell the boy as you walked around the campus while he stuffed his mouth with the sweets. and neither did he; telling you about the friends and enemies he's made inside the project. “Everyone pretty much minds their own business here so you’re free to sleep or cry.” You were at the final stop on your tour and were pointing out the library to Chigiri through the window.

“Speaking from experience?” He teased. “Yes. Simultaneously.” You shamelessly admit, earning a laugh from him. “So, that’s about it.” You concluded before tossing the dessert packaging in the bin. “That was way better than the campus tour the president gave me.” Chigiri mumbled. “You already had a tour?!” You scolded. “Of course. I’m a celebrity now.” He winked. “Besides, I wanted a reason to spend time with you.” Chigiri laughed. “You’re so corny.” You hit a playful punch on his arm. “Let me tell you about the time when an opponent asked me what shampoo I use right before a match…”

After making another round trip around the campus, you returned to Chigiri's dormitory just as his story came to an end. “So, this is you.” You smiled as you stopped at his doorstep. “Yup. Right where you picked me up.” Chigiri remarked, wishing he could come up with something to stay with you longer. “It was really good to see you again.” You sighed and embraced him once again.

You almost melted in his presence when he returned the embrace while you felt his muscles hug you delicately. “I missed you.” He chuckled at the sudden affection. “I missed you too.” Your warmth made it impossible to leave. “Good night, Chigiri.”

Chigiri couldn’t get himself to open his door without you by his side. All the “what if’s” haunted him all at once as he watched you walk away slowly. He knows that you have some time together, but he wouldn’t let another chance slip again.

So with a deep sigh and a strong pull on his uniform button, Chigiri called for your name.“[ Y / N ]!”

“Oh, thank god.” You mumbled to yourself before practically sprinting to the man. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Chigiri professed, taking your face in his hands. “I’m scared… I’m scared as hell to want you, but I’m here wanting you anyway. And the fear means I have something to lose, right? I don’t want to lose you.” He stammered and pressed his forehead against yours in a delicate embrace.

“And I’ve always liked you.” He opened his eyes and put his button in your own hand. “I like you too,” You gladly accepted his confession before finally closing the gap in between your lips. For a brief moment, he felt relief in his embrace before the kiss turned fierce. Chigiri blindly reached for the door knob before the door gave way and within a second, he already had you pinned on the other side of it.

#blue lock #blue lock imagines #bachira meguru #bachira x reader #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #nagi seishiro #nagi x reader #chigiri hyoma #chigiri x reader #fluff

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just-a-ghost00 · 2 months ago

Text

Advice from passed on loved ones and ancestors

I saw a post lately about how the tarot community is mainly about FS and love related content and it really made me think about my own practice and consumption. I think tarot is first and foremost a tool for spiritual growth and so I want to do more readings on those themes. Today, we are asking your spiritual support team to share with us advice meant to help you grow and thrive. You get to pick your group by choosing between the following emojis : 1🦄 2🍊 3🏊🏼‍♂️

Group 1 🦄

I will start this reading by interpreting the emoji you picked. To me, the Unicorn represents magic, lightheartedness and trust in the Universe. It represents purity and open mindedness. So I guess the first piece of advice that your team is giving you is to embrace whatever is coming your way. Instead of having a combative appproach, fighting people and things happening in your life, resisting change or wanting to control the outcome of things, try a more passive approach. Being passive doesn’t mean doing nothing. Being passive means that you allow things to come to you as they are and you learn how to work with them instead of working against them. For instance, let’s say you are given the opportunity to work on a project. Your first instinct may be to want to take the lead and create everything from scratch. But maybe instead of doing that, you could work on this project basing yourself off of the work your teammates have suggested or what your mentors have done before.

Now, moving onto your cards, you got the following : 4 of wands, knight of swords, the Emperor.

You are advised to count on your family and closest friends on your journey. At the moment, this course of action is the best thing for you to do. I’m hearing don’t underestimate the knowledge and power of others. Some of you may feel like your loved ones wouldn’t be able to understand what you are going through or provide meaningful help. Spirit is telling you that you are wrong thinking so. You would be surprised with what your people can do. Especially if we’re talking about an important father figure around you. The second piece of advice is to communicate clearly with people around you in a way that asserts your power and authority. That doesn’t mean that you should be agressive but definitely don’t be afraid to speak up your mind. Your ideas are valuable and you matter. No one should be able to walk over you as they please. Let people know that you are mature enough to make your own decisions after weighing the pros and cons. By doing so, you will prove people in your community that you are driven and reliable. The third piece of advice is to not be afraid to be more masculine, more dominant and communicative, more demonstrative in your relationships. If you were afraid of coming off too strong to a certain person you love, spirit is saying "we’ll be having none of that BS". On the contrary, you have to show this person all of you. Including the bossy side. Don’t dim your light for anyone. No matter how much you love them. Your spiritual team is telling you that embracing your power and your masculine will strengthen your bonds with this person. Because they like to know that their partner can handle things on their own and doesn’t need them to thrive. They like to see a strong, independent and confident partner. The brighter you shine, the more they’ll be drawn to you. That is also true for any person that’s a part of your tribe. How can you expect people to find you if you don’t let yourself be seen? Send the signal. Burn oh so bright, beautiful spark 🔥

Group 2 🍊

Sweet group 2 you picked the lovely orange as your emoji. To me, oranges represent joy, fun, warmth, gentleness, Summer. You are encouraged to have fun and do things that make you happy. Self care is a major theme for your reading I feel. I’m told that you tend to overwork yourself and be very harsh on yourself, especially when you feel like you’re not being as successful as you should. I’m also picking up on people not being happy about their body image. You could feel guilty about eating food and spirit is saying just do you. No stress. You’ll be okay. Go at your own pace and do your best. You are enough ❤️

Now moving on to your cards you have the following : king of cups, 9 of wands, queen of cups. I’m getting several interpretations for this combination of cards. So I’m going to do my best explaining them. First of all, there’s a message for people who are in a connection with someone that is a bit difficult at the moment. You may feel like you are constantly the one making the effort to make this work. Your team is advising you to pour in your own cup instead. A relationship takes two to tango. If that person is not willing to express their own feelings and show you that they care about this connection, it is not your job to do it in their stead. Maybe they just are not mature enough to be in your league and that is not your fault. Your job is not to save this person. Your job is to uplift yourself and hopefully this person will feel inspired to do the same if that is their cup of tea. But you shouldn’t focus on you just for the sake of their well being. You should do it for your own. The second scenario that I am picking up on is for people that are single. Your team encourages you to keep moving forward and hold on. You have been working very hard lately and they want to reassure you on the fact that you are close to victory. Very soon your hurdles will be over. You are asked to be gentle with yourself and pat yourself on the back because not only do you deserve it but your achievements are going to be spectacular. You may be on the verge of manifesting a precious connection without realizing it. As I was typing that the autocorrect function changed precious into previous. So maybe this person is someone from your past coming back under your radar. This may be someone you deeply wished to be with in the past but never got the chance to be with them or someone you where with but went their separate way for some reason or another. No matter your situation, the major keywords are : self love, self care and gentleness. Don’t repress your emotions. Feel free to express them in creative ways. Don’t give up on your dreams. A peaceful time is coming your way so do not despair ✨

Group 3 🏊🏼‍♂️

Hello dear group 3. I will start your reading by interpreting the emoji you picked. You are advised to either practice a physical activity or to dive into your emotions. You can also work with water energies to enhance healing and inner peace. You may be the type to enjoy going to the swimming pool or the beach. If that is your case then this is your confirmation sign.

Moving on to your cards you got the following : 5 of wands clarified by the king of cups, 6 of cups, knight of pentacles.

If there is currently conflicts in your relationships in general, you are encouraged to soothe your interactions with them. Try to reconnect with your partner, your family, your friends. Extend that olive branch. Invite them to dinner or to hang out in nature. It is important to rekindle connections at this time of your life. Do so at your own pace, slowly but surely. Take the time to get to know people or rediscover the people you know. Reconnect over past memories, activities you used to do at the beginning of your relationship. Try to put water in your wine. Meaning, you have to temper yourself and try to find a common ground with the people around you. If a friendly offer is made to you, don’t reject them because of past experiences and struggles. Don’t be petty. If help is being offered to you, see past your grudges and reluctances, give yourself and this person the opportunity to learn from each other and start anew. You are encouraged to clean the slate and start on healthier bases. Even if people are being a bit tense around you, adopt a peaceful approach. Soothe people’s worries and show them they have nothing to fear. Try to mediate if you can. Instead of working on your own look out for people that share similar interests, similar responsibilities or experience. Get out of your shell and out of your comfort zone. Get out of your way and try to understand others. Give others the chance to understand you. You are encouraged to work on your empathetic skills. 🕊️

#spiritual pac #just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #tarot reading #oracle cards

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cupcakeslushie · 5 months ago

Note

Is it black face/wrong if ur white but make ur oc (character that represents u) black?

also is it black face to cover ur face and skin with black on a program before posting because u don’t trust the internet?

not tryna be offensive. just the trust these rats on the internet.

sorry if this is offensive that’s why i’m asking. so i know what’s right and wrong.

should i just use hot pink to cover or something?

Hey anon. So, I’m not really sure why you’re asking me, a turtle blog this (/LH), but it seems like you have genuine questions, so I’ll try to give genuine answers.

As for your first question, I would give a very strong yes. That is wrong. Making a sona that represents you, and changing the skin tone to black, when in fact, you are not a person of color, is not an okay thing to do. Even if you think you have only good intentions, and don’t believe this change carries much meaning. There have been cases in the past of people in fandoms lying about their race to excuse bad takes, conduct, and basically trying to garner false sympathy. It’s always best to just be honest. Still, there is lying, and then there is being creative. If you’d like to make a fantastical sona, and have them be some type of fun looking fantasy character/creature, that is one thing. That has no real world implications behind the design. Go for that! My sona is a green and yellow frog demon thing! It’s fun to go crazy with it!

As for covering your face with like….say a black box, like a censor bar. That is not the same thing as black face, if I’m understanding your second question correctly? The whole body thing seems excessive, when just covering your face with a bar will do, however…

I’m really not trying to be rude, but from your questions and concerns I can’t help but think you sound rather young. So my actual advice would be to just not show your face at all. If you are this unsure, and if you don’t really trust the people who would be seeing your face, then you shouldn’t be sharing it in the first place. I know our social media culture today doesn’t put a lot of emphasis on internet safety, but there’s really no reason you need to be showing what you look like to the internet. If you want to make a Sona to represent you, that’s totally something you can do, but maybe you should hold off on sharing real pics of yourself.

Please be safe! 💚

#ask slushie

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hongjoongspoetry · 5 months ago

Text

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Part 3 – You Know You're On My Mind

⛸️ Summary: Would you rather A) represent Seoul at the Spring Championship, B) find the answer as to why Mingi was ignoring you or C) stay in your shared flat for the winter holidays? How smart of you to go with option D) none of the above.

⛸️ Genres/Tropes: College AU, non-idol AU, rivals to lovers but it's more like one-sided resentment, hockey AU, figure skating AU, angst!!!

⛸️ Warnings/Tags: Female reader, no use of (Y/N), explicit language, brief alcohol consumption, petnames (princess, beans), a lot of tears and crying, probably incorrect use of hockey terms, fist fight, blood, verbal fight, Mingi is really mean but also aware he's being a douche, Dasom is a good friend, more side characters!!!

⛸️ Wordcount: 16.6K

⛸️ Author's note: I freaking love angst 😈 Hence why I've looked forward to the third part of Cold Hands, Warm Hearts! A warning, I have absolutely ZERO knowledge about hockey so the things you'll read concerning the hockey game may or may not be wrong idk. I've tried watching a lot of hockey games on YouTube, but they move so fucking fast I can barely wrap my head around what's happening lmaooo.

I also wanted to write my own comments for the chapter (something I should have done since the first part tbh), but I've been home with a fever for some days now and I honestly can barely sit up, let alone write extra stuff so I'm sadly skipping out on that. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy this part and don't be shy to tell me your thoughts 🩷

AO3 Masterpost Moodboard Click on me!

This is all fiction and not meant to represent any idols involved in any way or form. This work is NSFW and not appropriate for minors as it contains explicit scenes, not just sexual content but descriptions of both physical and verbal fights, as well as adult language. Minors and ageless blogs, please, refrain from reading or interacting with this work or my blog!!!

December 9th, 2024.

The day was marked in Mingi’s little red calendar he kept away in his backpack — not that he needed the reminder, the day was practically burned into his mind — and the fanciest suit he owned was ironed three nights prior with the help of his best friend and roommate, Jeong Yunho. One would think it was an important day — as to explain why he woke up at a presentable hour with enough time to spare for a few errands and a brunch with his roommate — an exam determining his final grade or something to do with his hockey, but no it was just the day of your competition.

Currently sitting in a sandwich shop, thumbs twirling and eyes set on the flower shop across the street, Mingi contemplated whether bringing a bouquet — maybe roses or those tulips, they were quite popular nowadays — would be too much or not at all. The two parts of his brain clashed and before he could make a decision Yunho came back with their orders, a teriyaki chicken sandwich for Mingi while he ordered something nasty looking with a really fancy and long name that Mingi couldn’t bother remembering.

“There you go.” Yunho settled in the seat across Mingi and dove right into his food, letting out a moan of approval. “Best sandwich in town, no kidding.”

“Do girls like flowers?”

Caught mid bite, cheeks coated with crumbs and mayonnaise, Yunho looked up at Mingi who already had his eyes set on him with a seriousness that rarely outshone his happy and goofy exterior.

“Uhm, I suppose. I mean the girls I’ve given flowers to liked the gesture. Why? You looking to impress someone, Mings?” A teasing smile quirked at the edge of his lips. “Is it a quick fuck?”

“Dude?!” Mingi hissed and quickly threw a glance around the room making sure no one overheard their convo and labeled them as creeps.

“Oh, come on, we’ve talked about worse things than some sex deets.”

“It was a simple question, Yunho-ya. Do flowers equal happy girls? Yes or no?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, cool.”

Sensing this wasn’t a topic Mingi was all too keen to talk about, Yunho gave him some space and took another bite of his sandwich. Then he remembered their conversation three days ago and how Mingi begged him to help him iron his suit and teach him how to properly handle a tie, and if that wasn’t enough of a reason then he could always use the we’ve-been-friends-since-diapers card and pry whatever information he wanted out of him.

“Is this about that figure skating girl?”

“Absolutely not… Do you think she’d like roses or tulips?”

Mouth full of bacon, tomato, lettuce and bread, Yunho mumbled out a barely audible answer. “Roses. Definitely roses.”

“I’m just saying if Hyunjin brings you roses I’ll jump in front of the ice resurfacer!”

Keeho laid flat on your bed, legs dangling in the air and chin propped on both palms as his eyes burned holes on your back. While rummaging through your closet you threw a random shirt over your shoulder, purposely aiming it at him and you knew it was a success as he let out a surprised ‘ack’.

“That’s what you get for being noisy,” Dasom chirped and rolled over him, her feet hitting your pillow and arms reaching the end of your bed.

“You guys promised to help me pack! I’m so going to be late.”

An empty duffel bag sat on your bed beside the entanglement of limbs that were your friends. Despite waking up a whole twelve hours before your planned departure, you were running late or would be if you didn’t leave in the next fifteen minutes.

“Fine, but I’m just helping because I know you’ll make it big one day and I can use it to be a multimillionaire influencer. Yoon Keeho, best friend of the South Korean Olympic figure skater. It has a nice ring to it, no?”

Another shirt hit him in the face, this one coming straight out of the dirtied piles of clothes in the corner.

“No more throwing shirts!”

“Up we go, Kyo.”

Dasom repositioned to sit criss-crossed in front of your bag and began neatly placing necessary things inside; towel, spare change of clothes, bobby pins, hairspray, your skates.

“Where’s your suit?” She asked while zipping the bag.

“My coach still has it. Something about seeing it before the comp would bring bad luck or whatever. Like it’s a competition not a wedding and Keeho, get out I need to change.”

“I bet a round of lamb skewers Hyunjin is proposing after the comp– I’m leaving, I’m leaving, put that down!”

As the door closed you quickly stripped and threw on a sweatsuit bearing the logo of Tiny University printed on the front and back. Knowing you were practically working on autopilot while your nerves skyrocketed, Dasom didn’t want to step out of bounds and send you into a potential spiral of panic and stress but she was also very curious, and her greed won over her morals. With a soft call of your name she asked the million dollar question.

“Did you only invite Hyunjin?”

You froze with your hands in your hair, a bobby pin between your fingers and an extra in your mouth as your gaze fell on her. Flashing you a derpy yet reassuring smile that warmed you up like the sun on a summer afternoon filled with sugary strawberries and pink lemonade.

“No… Not just Hyunjin, I actually invited Mingi too, but I… don’t know why.”

You plopped down beside her and played with your fingers. It all felt so silly and you didn’t even have the time to think about him or Hyunjin or anything boy related overall. Not that it was a bad thing, in fact it was great, but that meant your mind was completely occupied of nailing your choreo, imaging everything that could go wrong and to not let anything go fucking wrong.

“Maybe it just felt right,” she whispered, as if the words were made of steel and you were of twigs that would break at the slightest contact.

Sighing, you nodded and fell back on your bed with Dasom in tow. There wasn’t much left to say. You couldn’t remember what drunk-you thought when inviting Mingi nor did you want to know. All you knew was that your heart did that little leap thing before violently kicking at your rib cage when he said he’d be there and that was concerning but not more so than your competition taking place in a few hours.

If Mingi showed up, great.

If he didn’t then that was great too, is what you forced yourself into believing.

Mingi stood before a body-length mirror and kept running his hand through his neatly made hair. Yunho placed a palm over Mingi’s shoulder and the shifting motion immediately subdued only to proceed as the hand withdrew.

“Stop moving around dude, you’re making me nervous!”

Taking a step back, Yunho quietly assessed Mingi, searching for creases in his black suit or stray hairs standing up funny. There were no faults, his tall friend — that was still slightly shorter than himself — looked perfect appearance wise. It was the slight twitch of his finger and sweat collecting at the nape of his neck that gave him away.

“Why are you so nervous, Mingi-ya? It’s just a figure skating competition, nothing more nothing less.”

Taking a hold of the perfectly wrapped bouquet of heart-colored roses he paid a good penny for, Mingi pouted and shrugged his shoulders as if a toddler being put on the spot for doing something bad.

“I don’t know.”

“You want me to come with?”

Yunho, dressed in an old tattered shirt and bright red basketball shorts with his naturally dark hair growing at the roots and taking on the look of pudding, was ready to drop everything and jump in his brand new suit planned for their graduation if that’s what Mingi needed.

“No, no. I’ll be fine, it’s just… Don’t you think it’s too much? Flowers, a suit? It’s a figure skating competition not a wedding.”

“Does it matter? Personally, if it were me, I’d rather see the girl I invited put in the effort even if it means wearing nice clothes over something raggedy. This shows you care.”

“I guess…”

Mingi jumped as Yunho reassuringly landed his hands on his shoulders, giving him an encouraging squeeze and smiling so his cheeks puffed up. “Come on, let’s get that tie fixed and then I’ll give you a lift.”

“Ah, the privileges of not having a driver’s license.”

“You mean the privileges of being a passenger princess?”

“Yah, Yunho-ya!” Came the whine as Mingi followed his friend like a kicked puppy on a rainy Monday morning.

The arena was packed and while it wasn’t an unusual sight for Mingi — always being a witness of how the bleachers slowly filled up during his warm ups — it was weird seeing it from an outside perspective. Everything seemed so much smaller and compact compared to when he was on the ice squinting past the blinding headlights to barely even catch a glimpse of the audience. Other than practice and hockey game, Mingi had no reason to visit the arena. There was no other sport that piqued his interest enough to stand in line, pay an overpriced entry fee and freeze his ass off on a plastic chair. He’d usually just enter through the changing rooms and skip all that yet there he was, all glammed up and standing behind a family wearing shirts with the name of some random chick printed in big bold letters.

Thinking about it, Mingi couldn’t actually give less of a fuck about figure skating and months ago he didn’t care who represented Seoul or if they were even capabale to compete with the other cities.

“All my friends are going to be there.”

“Nice friends you have.”

“We are friends,” you said matter-of-factly, your ‘S’ coming out with a lisp. “Alllll my friends are going.”

“You want me to come to your competition princess?”

“You’ll come?!”

You slinked your arm through his and squished it against your chest, cheek pressed to his bicep as you looked at him. One would believe Mingi hung up each and every single star individually in your name for you to look at him that way.

“Yeah,” he whispered, “I’ll be there.”

It was your stupid yet endearing eyes that did it all. The little shining glint that completely vexed him and before he knew it, the promise slipped off his tongue and was spoken into existence. Mingi didn’t get to indulge more in the memory of the beauty that was your face as the lights dimmed and an enthusiastic voice boomed through the speakers, welcoming everyone and announcing the start of the preliminary that would determine the female representative of Seoul at the annual Spring Championship.

Honestly, Mingi didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t know a lot of things; how long this would be, what time your performance would start, was he supposed to find you after or before they announced the winner? It also didn’t help that he was sweating through his dress shirt despite the freezing temperature inside.

Performance after performance passed and he was yet to catch sight of you. Honestly speaking, Mingi was growing impatient. The numbers weren’t anything extraordinary — he had seen you do much better even when ending on your rear — and he wasn’t here to watch some mediocre ladies flip around to classical music. The weight of his phone burned in his suit pocket and he was itching to reach for it. He was three taps away from dialing Yunho and making the taller man pick him up again. Oblivious to the curious and soft eyes peering at the bouquet in his lap, Mingi stared at the ice rink with a far away look on his face and bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“Those are beautiful,” a voice came from his left. It was comforting and full of kindness.

Snapping his head towards the person, Mingi faced a woman looking old enough to be his mom. The compliment pulled at the corners of his lips and soon a full blown boxy smile took over his face as his eyes creased into crescent moons.

“Thank you.”

Mingi contemplated whether to hand her the darned flowers and leave while you still hadn’t caught sight of him, that way his money wouldn’t go to waste and the flowers wouldn’t end up in the bin outside the venue.

“I’m Chaeryeong’s mom.”

“Song Mingi,” he curtly answered with a little bow of his head.

“Are those for your girlfriend?”

As kind as this woman looked she sure was twice the amount noisy.

“No, they are for a… friend. She’s competing today.”

“Oh, when is she up?”

At the sight of his uncertainty, she handed Mingi a pamphlet with several numbers followed by first- and last names of the competitors. Quickly scanning the sheet of paper he landed on your name in last place and with the twenty-ninth performer taking her starting pose right as Mingi looked back up again. The urge to squish his face against the pamphlet was immense.

“She’s last.”

“Oh! That’s Hoseok’s kid. She’s amazing and if it weren’t for my Chaeryeongie I’d root for her.”

Pride swelled in his chest and heat nipped at his cheeks. He tried suppressing the fond smile forcing its way out but failed.

“It’s actually my first time watching her perform but yeah, she’s pretty… p-pretty cool!”

“Really? Well, it’s better late than never.”

Why Mingi was getting flustered was beyond him. Not wanting to think about it and eventually fall down a rabbit hole he always did when thinking of you, he nodded and took the praise with the lady leaving a pat on his shoulder.

“Mmm, you’re smiling! Are you sure she’s just a friend?”

Mingi lowered his chin and avoided the teasing eyes of Chaeryeong’s mom. No way was he talking about girl problems with a random lady at a figure skating competition.

“Would you spare my seat? I just need to go to the restroom.”

“Of course, son.”

With one last bow he ran up the stairs leading to the main hall and straight for the male restroom which — to his delight — was empty. Mingi released a breath of unease and stopped by the sink hoping to wash away the sweat collected on his hands. Looking at his reflection in the oblong mirror, he pursed his lips and splashed cold water on his face before lightly slapping his cheeks.

“It’s easy. We hand her the flowers, tell her she did great and then we leave.”

Mingi couldn’t remember the last time he was this nervous over talking to a girl. Thinking about it, he talked to you all the time. Yes, most of it was hidden behind jokes and teasing remarks, but it still counted as talking.

“Welcoming our last performer of the night…”

The booming voice of the announcer echoed through the whole building and with a quick ‘shit’ falling from his lips, Mingi dried his hands off his expensive pants and ran back into the arena receiving weird stares from other people, but he wasn’t about to miss the start of your performance after waiting for over two hours. In sync with you gliding out on the ice he flew past the double doored entrance and caught himself on the metal railing. Mingi realized there was no need to go back to his previous spot, not when he had a great view of the whole ice rink from where he stood and a great look of you posing in the middle, one arm elegantly thrown over your head and the other following the length of your figure and stopping midthigh.

Stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, angelic, breathtaking, enchanting, marvelous and other adjectives wouldn’t do the justice to describe how truly captivating you looked.

The first thing that caught his attention was your costume. It was a long sleeved dress transitioning from dark to light blue with sparkly beads going down your chest, across your abdomen and arms in a tilted motion as if the foam of multiple waves. Your costume had a tiny skirt which Mingi was sure would swirl prettily when pirouetting and twirling in the air. The upper part of your dress took on the shape of a heart and went down your back in a v-form leaving your collars, shoulders and back completely exposed. Your hair was styled in a sturdy updo matching the elegance of your suit and while Mingi couldn’t see your make-up, he assumed it would reflect the colors of your dress and accentuate your facial features in just the right way.

The starting notes of your chosen song erupted from the speakers and Mingi’s breath got caught in his throat as you glided across the ice, his heart beating in rhythm to your every landed jump. You moved with grace and for once the teasing nickname he reserved just for you had no malice objective behind it. You surrendered yourself to the music and allowed it to guide you, your body resembled the elements of nature and became an entity that was no longer your own. Moving like the ripples of a wind, flowing and rising as though you were water yet curving fiercely as a controlled fire and flourishing like a sunflower yearning for light.

It was beautiful. You were beautiful.

Mingi would rather have spent two hours watching you skate than those other amateurs and he was slightly bitter your number only lasted for four minutes. 240 seconds of no breathing or thinking, just existing to admire you as if you were a painting exhibited in the most famous art museum in the world.

As you were entering the last moments of your performance, the music picked up and you mentally prepared yourself to do the main stunt. There was no turning back now and with confidence pumping in your veins, you inhaled and propelled yourself off the ice. Time slowed down and magically you could somehow hear the amazed gasps of the audience. Your body spun, and spun and spun and you felt the start of gravity doing its work. As if caught in a sense of Déjà Vu, the sharp point of your skates chipped the ice and threw your landing off course, and before you knew it, you landed on the outer side of your thigh. The crowd gasped again, the tone much more horrible than a few seconds ago, and all you wanted to do was continue to lay on the cold surface, but the show was yet to be over. In hopes of saving your score, you recovered with a double-axel which wasn’t nearly as appealing as the one you failed, but at least you landed it.

The performance ended with you posing in the middle — much like you practiced — and waiting for the last piano notes to run out. Despite your big fail the arena erupted in chaos of applause and whistles. Thanking the spectators with three respectful bows — each facing a different side — you skated off the ice with shaky legs and a heart hammering in your ears falling right in the arms of your coach. Mingi didn’t move until you rounded the corner towards the locker rooms and disappeared from his sight.

A short static echoed in the hall as the AUX was rather harshly unplugged from your phone, making you lose your footing and fall on your ass.

The ice beneath was hard and cold, and it numbed your whole left leg except for the burning pain that flared up in your backside. You had to physically hold back tears as you stood back up on shaky legs.

“Majestic as always, princess, but I’ll have to deduct ten points for that eye captivating fall.”

A chorus of laughter and gloves pounding against the plexiglas averted your attention for a split second, and the picture of an audience watching wasn’t much of an imagination as the whole hockey team stood by the entrance of the rink.

Mingi sighed at the memory and stalked back to his seat where the kind family and bouquet of roses waited on him.

“You missed her performance!” Chaeryeong’s mom exclaimed and handed him the flowers.

Mingi smiled shyly, then scratched the back of his neck. “Ah no, I watched from up there.” He turned and pointed at the spot he was standing in not even thirty seconds ago. “It was a better view so yeah…”

Chaeryeong’s mom smiled tenderly with a knowing gleam in her eyes. “What a relief! You got me worried for a minute but I should’ve known you wouldn’t miss it.”

“She was amazing,” Mingi stated and received a smug look from the woman.

“Mmm, I told you so. It’s a shame she fell. Well, we’re going out for a breather but we’ll be back so please save our seats for us.”

You sat in one of the locker rooms, head in your hands and feet tapping on the floor. The performance couldn’t have been more perfect, all for it to go to shit in the end.

All the hours, sweat and energy put into practice was a waste and you didn’t have to wait for the winner to be announced to know whether it was true or not. It was ironic really, despite being in a competitive sport, you hated the concept of competitions. The idea that there could only be one winner always got to your head like a parasite planting eggs of anxiety. Your number was great, but your fall made the other girls as good if not better and that really got you spiraling.

Not to mention neither of your parents could make it, the timing clashing with their working schedules besides driving back and forth from your hometown was too exhausting for one day. Keeho and Dasom weren’t there either, occupied with work or school projects making it unreasonable for you to be angry with them. You also didn’t spot Hyunjin or Mingi in the audience which wasn’t that much of a surprise as you could barely make out the people in the front row, but nonetheless, the lack of support was weighing on you. That’s why in these situations, you were so grateful for Mr. Jung. Not only being your coach, but for stepping up as a ten man army of supporters.

A series of knocks snapped you out of your thoughts followed by Mr. Jung’s voice on the other side.

“You ready, star? They are announcing the winner.”

“Oh, look! I think they are announcing the winner!” Chaeryeong’s mom exclaimed as she sat back down in her seat.

The competing figure skaters went back out on the ice in a neat row, all dressed in various shimmering suits creating a palette of multiple colors. The whole crowd quieted down as the announcer asked for silence and simultaneously caught everyone’s attention. Not Mingi’s though, no his eyes were set on you who — together with the other girls — lined up behind the host.

Hands trembling and breath caught in your throat, you didn’t allow yourself to think of anything. You felt like your head was underwater. It wasn’t scary or suffocating, but not a great feeling either as you couldn’t hear anything clearly thanks to the blood pumping in your ears. Somehow you could make out the distant voice of the man holding the mic, but no words were being registered. Focusing on the white translucent puffs of your short inhales and exhales, you didn’t hear the thick voice announcing the winner. It all happened incredibly fast. One second everyone was at the edge of their seats — you imagined them to be nibbling their nails like in the cartoons — and the next thing you know, the whole arena exploded in cheers. You were so out of it you hadn’t even heard the announcement of the winner. Although it didn’t matter, because a second later the call for a girl who wasn’t you sounded through the speakers as she was welcomed up on the podium.

“Everyone! A round of applause for Seoul's representative of the Spring Championship 2025!”

You felt yourself sink deeper and deeper into the ocean as a booming wave of applause and whistles scattered around, shaking you to the core. Tears sprung to your eyes and you silently thanked the makeup artist for using waterproof cosmetics, the last thing you needed was for everyone to notice your emotional breakdown. The winner skated up to the host and he rewarded her with a bouquet of various flowers and a sash reading ‘Seoul Representative 2025’ in gold letters. You imagined him to be wishing her good luck and words of encouragement before letting her shine in the light of attention and praise.

After bowing to the girls, judges and audience you skated out of the rink and threw yourself in Mr. Jung’s embrace who patiently waited by the open board door. His heart smile didn’t hold quite reach its natural form and came out more pained than what he’d like to and his creased eyes mirrored your own sad expression. The flashes of a dozen cameras quickly annoyed you as well as the sound of the gadgets going off and you tried your best ignoring them, but each flicker was like a stab to your heart.

You were supposed to be the winner. The camera was supposed to be on you, not on that girl.

“It’s alright, starshine. Winning is not always guaranteed,” he whispered and hugged you tighter as you started crying harder, hot tears soaking his shirt.

He stayed with you a while inside the locker room. The silence and your occasional sniffles were the only sources of sound, besides the light chattering noise outside.

“I’m still proud of you.”

The simple sentence brought another fresh set of tears to your eyes and you hung your head in defeat, and slight embarrassment.

“I know you think it’s not fair and that you should be the winner of tonight's event, but that would have been too easy and that’s just not something life is… We’ll break down and start again.”

Mr. Jung had always been exceptional at shifting between being a serious and humorous coach, but the current words spoken came from someone who had experienced failure before. From one loser to another, his little words of wisdom helped you get on your feet even if you felt like you were at the lowest point of your adult life. It would still take days to get over your disappointing performance, but you’d be alright. With a pat to your head, he ushered you to wash the blue feelings off.

While you did that, Mingi found himself once again in the bathroom, wet hands combing through strands of hair in an attempt to look less disheveled and more like he had his shit together (he did in fact not have his shit together). He sniffed the collar of his suit jacket and then his armpits, and as he didn’t detect the smell of sweat, but the aroma of his favorite cologne — that smelled of bergamot and lavender — he straightened the jacket and went out to accomplish his mission or rather plan B.

Instead of congratulating you, like he initially planned to, he’d do something else — and what that was, he had yet to figure out — but from his own experience, he’d known better than to give you praise, especially after losing by a few points.

Skipping two steps down the stairs, he stopped by the see-through doors instead of continuing down the hallway with several changing rooms. Mingi didn’t know what room you were assigned to and even if he did, he wasn’t planning on barging in while you were possibly getting dressed or showering. The vision of a soapy you sent heat rushing to his head, both of them, but were quickly discarded as you came out.

You looked different from the girl twirling on the ice minutes ago. Wet hair and dressed in comfy clothes, no fancy make up or extravagant details, but a solemn expression and puffy eyes. It didn’t matter though because you were still beautiful, he thought and fixed his tie out of sheer anxiety, and opened the door. Your name swayed at the tip of his tongue and was just in need of a small push to reach your ears. Eyes entirely focused on you, Mingi missed the boy walking towards him and slinking through the opening created by the taller man.

“Thanks, bud.” Hyunjin didn’t spare Mingi another glance as he headed straight for you.

At a loss for words and frozen in place, Mingi just watched you fall comfortably in Hyunjin’s arms and as if a masochist he stood rooted and felt his heart squeeze painfully as you melted in his hold, your sobs filling the bleak silence taking residue in Mingi’s head.

One, two, three and four seconds later, Mingi headed home, hands stuffed in his pockets and roses left in the trashcan by the smoking area outside. Thinking back to it, he should’ve given them to Chaeyeon’s mom — or whatever her name was — at least then they’d be rotting away on someone’s kitchen table and not in a random bin on the streets of Seoul.

Entering the shared apartment with Yunho nowhere in sight — something Mingi was grateful for — he stripped out of the expensive clothes and pushed them to the back of his closet, saving his future-self from a painful reminder of what did and didn’t happen. Somewhere in the rational part of his mind, he knew not to be angry with you, but the other part, the selfish and angry one, put the entire blame on you. If there was one thing hated more than losing, it was to be made into a fool.

“I can’t believe I lost,” you said and downed a shot of soju.

Hyunjin quickly snatched the soju bottle from beside you before you could pour yourself another shot, your sixth one to be exact.

You frowned and placed your palms against your heated cheeks. “I’m never figure skating again.”

After the little meet up with Hyunjin, he requested (more like demanded) on treating you to food, and while you insisted he admitted he’d do it either way if you lost or won. That was how you ended up in a meat house, sitting around a table for two as Hyunjin grilled the food.

“Don’t be silly. If you give up now you’ll never win.”

You rolled your eyes and the frown turned even deeper. Gazing down at the sizzling meat, your mouth watered and stomach rumbled impatiently. You could already taste the savory flavors just by looking at it.

“I can’t believe you dragged me here looking like this.”

Hyunjin raised a brow, genuinely not understanding what you meant. To him you looked just fine in a pair of leggings and hoodie, and it didn’t matter that your hair was still wet or your face bare of makeup because you were perfect.

“What’s wrong with the way you look? I think you’re cute.”

A fire lightened in your core and rose up to your cheeks, ears and neck, and the air in the restaurant changed too, suddenly feeling as if you were a chicken sitting in an oven. As your heart didn’t do its usual badum-badum-badum, you realized the effect Hyunjin had on you didn’t appear. You were surprisingly calm. Unbothered even and instead of buzzing with joy you were counting down the seconds until it was time to leave.

Not to get you wrong, you loved his company. You’d been dreaming of days like these since the first time you laid eyes on him and now that you had it, all you wanted was nothing more than to jump in bed and just go into hibernation, and forget about the world.

Something was telling you though, that even if you were eating meat and celebrating your win, you still wouldn’t feel the spirit of a winner. Deep inside, you knew the root of it. The reason as to why a gray cloud hovered over you — besides losing — and it all led back to the absence of a certain hockey player.

“Here, try this.” Hyunjin gently hand fed you a piece of beef and other fillings wrapped in lettuce. “It’s good, huh?”

“You good there, princess?”

You reeled back, momentarily stunned by the unexpected presence. Mingi grinned at your reaction and sat back. Very satisfied with his work. As he readied his own computer, you took in his appearance and found yourself growing more irritated. There was no denying that he was attractive. Thick pink lips, a straight and sharp nose and a very prominent jaw. His brown eyes were surprisingly relaxed and didn’t resemble those of a fox. The boy was even blessed with not one, but two moles. His knitted sweater was an ugly shade of moss green but it looked good on him, much to your dismay.

You sighed and sucked through your teeth, “Why are you here?”

Why wasn’t he there?

It was as if the universe was out to get you.

First, you lost a spot at the Spring Championship. Then you failed an assignment that took a month of your life to get done, and if that wasn’t enough, the representative face of Seoul at next year’s championship was plastered all over town. She was even on the newspaper thrown in your mailbox, which you hadn’t subscribed to! If it weren’t for your personal duo of Chip and Dale, you’d skip school just to avoid it all.

To say, you were feeling down right shit would be an understatement, and everyone around you could feel it. That was probably why Mr. Jung canceled a whole week’s worth of practice and you couldn’t have been more relieved.

Figure skating was the last thing you needed right now.

Besides your friends and coach giving you space or peppering you with love, there was another person to be added in that equation. Hyunjin made sure to spend more time with you, always asking to go out for lunch or a stroll in the park that usually ended up with window shopping and eating ice cream.

“Felix and Changbin have been dying to meet you, you know,” Hyunjin stated as he scooped a spoon of chocolate ice cream.

“Really?”

You remembered Changbin solely by his Halloween party and you pushed aside the other memories that came along with that night. The other boy, Felix, you knew a little next to nothing about.

“Yeah, they haven’t stopped pestering me about it, especially Changbin.”

“Mmm, have you been talking about me, Hyunjin-ah?”

The black haired boy grew red at the teasing and nearly choked on the plastic spoon.

“Wh-what!”

It was the first time you’d ever seen him flustered and it sure was a different sight from his usual composed self. Your chuckle filtered between the giggles and chatter of multiple friend groups. It was a surprise to see so many people outside in the snow. Hyunjin eventually calmed down and returned to his natural skin color, and he proceeded with caution at his next question, slightly afraid to walk straight into another teasing trap.

“They are going to watch that hockey game… if you want, it would be a great time to meet them.”

Truth to be told, you had completely forgotten about that sport and it had everything to do with Mingi, the only connection you had to the hockey team of your university. The last time you saw him was a few days before your performance and you hadn’t seen him since, at one moment you thought he disappeared to another country, but Keeho’s confirmation of seeing him on campus debunked that theory. It wasn’t that weird though, considering you hadn’t stepped foot in the ice rink and didn’t share any classes with him, courtesy of majoring in two completely different studies.

You wouldn’t say it to anyone, not even Dasom, but the less you saw of him, the more bored you got. Obviously, you didn’t miss his irksome comments or that stupid pet name he’d use at any given moment, yet the days seemed to go slower without the pain in the ass of a man. Going to that hockey game would maybe change that, and what better excuse than to go with Hyunjin?

“Of course! I mean,” you cleared your throat. “Of course, I’ll check if I’m free and then I’ll let ya know.”

“Great. It’s next Friday and, unluckily, I pulled the short straw so I’ll be driving… So if you can and want, there's space in my car.”

Parting your mouth to answer, the left side of your brain suddenly halted all your speech function as you caught sight of a familiar figure.

In the many places of Seoul, he just had to be in the same park as you. Wearing a blue tracksuit with the slogan of a wolf on the front and running sneakers adorning his feet, told you he was out on a late night run. It was quite unfair how even with his hair sticking to his nape and sweat trickling down the sides of his face, Mingi still looked great.

You and Mingi had never been friends — that much you knew — but for him to just run past you without as much as a nod of acknowledgement had you questioning if something was wrong. His exhausted eyes morphed into a nasty glare as they landed on you, which served as a nail in the coffin to your theories.

“Was that Song Mingi?” Hyunjin asked from beside you.

“Yeah. Yeah, it was.”

“What’s wrong, bean?”

Laying upside down on your bed with feet tucked beneath your pillow and your head a few inches from the edge apparently wasn’t a normal thing to do if Dasom assumed something was going on.

“Nothing, everything is perfectly fine.”

Everything was perfectly fine if you ignored the fact that Mingi was angry with you and was intentionally avoiding you like the plague.

“Mmmm.”

Dasom fell back and mimicked your position, arms thrown out and eyes locked on the ceiling. Some days were like that, spent doing absolutely nothing. Wrapped in big fuzzy blankets laying in either her or your bed, getting lost in space or scrolling endlessly through tiktok until the clock struck the early hours of the morning.

“You still going to that game?”

You huffed, “Yeah. I promised Hyunjin I’d go and he wants to introduce me to some of his friends in return. Is Hongjoong still coming over?”

“He hasn’t rain checked on me yet, so I think so.” She drummed her fingers against her shorts-clad thighs. “Isn’t the game at eight?”

“Yup.”

“Cool. Cool.”

You slid down to the floor, brows furrowed and lips titled. “What time is it?”

“Now?”

“Yes, Dasom. Now.”

“Hmmm, it’s currently seven-thirty.”

“It’s seven-thirty!?”

The blood rushed up to your head at your abrupt movement and the whole room spun as black spots clouded your vision. Left with no choice you laid back down and clutched your skull as you tried taking control of your own body again, all while assessing the situation. The game started at eight and you had approximately thirty minutes to get changed and figure out a way to get there before then. The messages Hyunjin sent you earlier today flashed in your mind and you were starting to regret turning down his offer to pick you up, at least then you wouldn’t risk being late and embarrassing yourself in front of his friends.

“Okay, I’m jumping in the shower real quick while you put together an outfit for me that doesn’t scream ‘I spent five minutes on this’ as I walk through the doors.”

Jumping to her feet with an imaginary tail wagging left and right, she saluted. A determined yet excited look on her face. Besides writing poetry in the dim light of your fridge at three AM, Dasom had a big passion for fashion and would always play dress up with you during your childhood days.

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!”

A trail of water followed from the bathroom to the bedroom and stopped below your feet. You stood with a towel wrapped around your bare body as you watched Dasom finalizing your outfit. The clothes on your bed were a baggy gray sweatshirt with bold letters spelling out ‘TORONTO’ — borrowed from Keeho and never returned — and a pair of blue jeans. It didn’t give too much, but was still appropriate for where you were going.

“Okay, go put it on. Have you figured out a way to get there?”

Shimmying on the clothes you heaved out a breath. “Nope.”

“Want me to call Kyo?”

“It’s a Friday so I’m sure he’s pre-gaming with Jiung and the others.”

“That’s true… I mean I could always give you a ride on my bike?”

You laughed at that. The bike in question was bright purple, almost lilac-ish with shimmering tinsel handels and star shaped wheel clips. It was cute, but embarrassing at the same time. Plus it would be a shit-show, you sitting on the carrier holding on for dear life while Dasom would do her best not to run people over. She was not the most trusted driver, hence the lack of a driver’s license (that she’s tried for five times and failed every single one).

“As much as I love you, I’d rather be late than arrive on that oddity and risk a broken arm or leg.”

“Hmpf, well if you don’t appreciate Melody then you can walk there!” She crossed her arms and pouted, her lower lip jutting in a show of feigned hurt.

“I don’t really mean it, Dae-Dae, I love youuuuu! I’ll come back with something nice to make up for it.”

The sour golden retriever-looking girl immediately brightened at the mention of a treat and wrapped her arms around you, her chin digging above your sternum.

“Can you buy those shrimp chips that I like?”

“Deal! I seriously gotta go now, I’ll text you when I get there. Kisses and hugs and all that bullshit!”

For once you were grateful not having a car as the parking lot was packed with them and other vehicles. It must have been a big deal if some people just blatantly abandoned their cars on the sidewalk, yellow tickets flapping on their windshields. The match was in full swing and it was everything you could expect of a hockey game. Red and blue blurs of jerseys zoomed past you, the sound of blades against ice, the livid roar of the crowd, cutting blows of a whistle, sticks cracking against the puck sounding like thunder and the thump as an opponent was checked against the boards. Seeing the bleachers full of people wasn’t something you expected when you crossed the entrance. The sides were divided into two parts — red and blue — and while you weren’t about to backstab your own university by sitting with the ‘enemy’ you found no empty seats between the Blue Wolf supporters. The other side wasn’t anything better except for the few vacant seats here and there, and more nude chests and faces covered in paint.

This was everything but your scenery.

Staring through the plexiglas you tried spotting the familiar mop of black and white hair you hadn’t seen since God knows when. You gave up as you quickly realized the gear covered almost the entirety of their faces and body proportions, making everyone look identical to one another, the only thing differentiating them being the numbers and colors of their jerseys that did little to help as you didn’t even know his. A pair of hands suddenly grabbed your shoulders and you jumped at the unexpected touch, hastily turning to see who the culprit was and coming face to face with a grinning Hyunjin.

“Boo!”

“Don’t do that!”

His beautiful laugh reached your ears and emitted a chuckle of your own. He coaxed you into his body and enfolded you in a warm embrace that you reciprocated, chin on his shoulder and arms going around his waist. It was first when the hug broke that you could finally take in his full appearance. His whole attire — suit pants, a tucked in turtleneck and leather boots — were completely black except for the long and expensive-looking jean coat and red beanie showing support for the opposing team.

“Let’s go, I have to introduce you to some of my friends.”

Without missing a beat he took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers as he gently maneuvered you through the crowd. Every few seconds you flinched as the people jumped up from their seats, cheering or groaning at what was happening down below.

From across the rink in the bench area adjacent to the ice, the red and blue players filled the booths closest to their goalkeepers. The game was in full swing with both teams scoring a point each and neither willing to let up on their explosive paces. The substitute players were all buzzing from excitement or nerves — probably a combination of both — as they shouted encouraging words to the starting lineup. Like the remaining defencemen of the blue team, Mingi sat in the middle with his hockey stick high up in the air and shoulders squishing against his fellow position players, but his eyes weren’t trained on the puck flying from one player to another. No, they were set on the pair of figure skaters on the other side of the rink. More precisely, he was focused on their interlocked hands and the subtle exchange of smiles.

A red light and the loud blaring of the goal horn went off in the arena as the opposing team managed to hurl the puck behind the blue goalkeeper and Mingi could argue it was how he felt on the inside seeing you together. The big crowd jumped from their seats, waving their red merch and screaming words Mingi couldn’t hear over the angry voice of his coach.

“Matthew, what the hell are you doing?!”

“Wow… This is really annoying. We’re only ten minutes into the first period and we’ve already received two points,” Jungkook fumed.

It was weird that neither Mingi or Jungkook were a part of the starting lineup, considering they were up against one of the better teams of the season. Trusting that their coach was making the right decision of keeping them off the ice, Mingi didn’t try persuading him to be put in. There were still two and a half periods left of the game, leaving plenty of time for Mingi to change the course of the match if needed to. It also gave him more time to keep an eye on you and simmer in his own rage, if he just hadn’t lost you in the three seconds he looked away. Frantically searching the bleachers for a girl with a blue scarf wrapped around her neck, you were nowhere to be seen.

“Song!”

The abrupt call of his name snapped him out of his search and he was met with the beetroot red face of his coach.

“Are you deaf?!”

“Nu-uh. No, sir!”

“Then get off your ass, you’re going in.” As Mingi stood up, his coach threw an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in closer. “Remember what we talked about. There are scouts watching and they’ve heard great things about this Song Mingi, so show them you’re not all talk, yeah?”

Mingi pushed in his mouth guard and nodded determinedly.

Coach patted him encouragingly and gave one last pat on his helmet for luck.

“Good, get in there and put a stop to their number three.”

Everything turned to background noise as Mingi leaped over the board and his blades slashed against the cool surface. There was only him and his defending zone, and the fact that you were somewhere in the crowd, probably watching him or getting cozy with that stupid figure skater. The grip around his hockey stick tightened at the image and he hated the effect you still had on him. He should’ve been worrying about being on top of his game and impressing the scouts, and not what you were up to.

Mingi and Matthew held the blue line and passed the puck between each other as the remaining blue players skated around in the offensive zone, searching for an opening to get the puck handed to them. As Mingi slid the puck to Matthew, the bigger defender quickly hurled it to the next player only for the pass to be cut off.

Going backwards, Mingi immediately retreated home while putting pressure on the puck carrier and simultaneously keeping him from having a clear view of the net. He skillfully managed to push the opposing player (without physical contact) to the side in the defensive zone. He quickly realized that he was closed off and sent the puck diagonally backwards to another red player who moved with such speed, Mingi knew he wouldn't be able to stop the additional player in time. Protests erupted from the bench as all fourteen substitute players had a hunch of what was going to happen.

To his aid came Matthew and the two defensemen managed to shut down a possible counterattack. As the remaining players entered the defending zone, the puck was still in the possession of the red team. It landed in the hold of their number three, who was a few diagonal meters from Mingi. The winger locked gazes with the blue defender and sent him a smug smirk, tauntingly saying ‘watch this’ as he winded his hockey stick up to his shoulder and readied himself for a slapshot.

Losing all control of his body, Mingi changed the trajectory of his movements and skated almost backwards while getting in number three’s sight of line. Mingi waited for the perfect timing and when the red player rushed forward to skate past him, Mingi jutted out his hip, flipping the opponent over him and stealing the puck in the process. Cheers erupted in the arena and Mingi soared at the jumbled praises and roars of encouragement.

“This is Felix and that’s Changbin, they attend TOP University. Lix-ie, Bin-ie, this is the friend I’ve been telling you about,” Hyunjin introduced you as the crowd calmed down.

The two guys weren’t dressed in anything over the top, basic hoodies and joggers or a pair of jeans with small accessories showing their support for the Red Tigers which made you feel out of place with Keeho’s blue scarf wrapped around your neck. You recognized one of them as the guy who hosted that halloween party; buffy build, a triangle shaped head, but kind features.

“Hey.”

The deep voice that greeted you didn’t match the sunshine-face of the other boy beside Changbin. A sprinkle of freckles covered his nose and cheeks, his eyes crinkling as he offered you a sun-like smile that matched the color of his hair.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” you gently said and sat in the spot beside the sunshine-boy.

“It’s great to finally see the girl this one’s been obsessing about,” Changbin butted in with a teasing grin and earned himself a slap on the thigh by Felix.

“Just ignore him, he loves to tease.”

“Ah, that’s okay. I know banter when I hear it,” you smiled reassuringly and looked at the game below.

One would think that because ice was your dome, you’d easily understand other winter sports, but you were truly having trouble keeping up with whatever was going on in the newly polished rink. The puck was traveling a hundred miles an hour and the skaters were freakishly fast, you could barely keep up with who was attacking and who was defending. It seemed like the moment one team scored, the other was immediately taking back a point. On top of all, you had zero knowledge about the rules. To say you were surprised when a — what looked to be dangerous and illegal — tackle occurred, would be an understatement. You expected at least someone to jump out of sheer anger, but no one batted an eye. They just kept watching and the players resumed as if it were the most normal thing of the day.

“Do you want to die?” Chan growled as he bumped shoulders with Mingi, getting all up in the defenseman’s face.

The chants of the Blue Wolves’ fans sent another surge of adrenaline through Mingi’s veins, not that he needed it, but gave him an ego boost to return the cockiness to the max.

“I should be asking you that. Don’t think you can get past us just like that. I’ll shut you down, Chan-hyung.”

In any other circumstance and in a conversation with quite literally anyone else, the use of honorific wouldn’t have been out of place, but hearing it come from Mingi wasn’t an indication of respect. It was a ploy to humiliate him and a way to set the tone of the game. In other words, telling him not to expect an easy win. Chan didn’t think anything less.

“I’d like to see you try.”

Mingi scoffed, a smirk of triumph playing across his lips. “I already did and guess what, hyung. I’ll do it again and again, and again. You will not get past me. I’ll knock you down until your ass makes a dent on the ice.”

Returning the ever-so-kind favor of butting shoulders, Mingi pushed past him and stopped right behind his center, ready to receive the puck or defend if the odds played out in the red team’s favor.

“I’m sorry about what happened at the preliminaries,” Felix smiled empathically and placed a hand on your shoulder for support. “If it makes you feel better, I thought you were perfect and deserved to win.”

You forced a smile at the reminder of the event. The wound was still fresh and even though Felix didn’t have any ill intentions with bringing it up, it still didn’t spare you from the bitter taste of winning — if it could even be considered a victory — second place.

“Thank you, but the jury is rarely ever wrong.”

“Tell me about it,” he started and focused momentarily on the game again. “It still doesn’t change my opinion on who should’ve won though.”

Before you could thank him again and express your gratitude to his kindness, Hyunjin joined the conversation. “Oh, I see you’ve found yourself a new figure skating partner.”

Glancing from Felix to Hyunjin and back to Felix again, you pointed at the freckled boy. “You’re a figure skater too?”

“Yup, I've been training with Jin-ie since elementary school. A tick would be easier to shake off than him.”

“Oh, don’t be like that, everyone practically begged you to sit beside them but no, little Lixie the new student decided it would be best to annoy Hyunjin-ie in the back.”

With a witty remark waiting on the tip of his tongue, Felix parted his lips, but was interrupted by Changbin abruptly standing up, hands clasped around his mouth and shouting, “Come on Chan! Don’t let him get away with that!”

Glancing down at the rink, you noticed number three in the red team was pushed against the border with a blue guy towering over him. Both guys seemed to be communicating through their eyes and if it weren’t for their teammates getting in between, you were sure a full on fist fight would’ve taken place in front of everyone.

“You’d think Chan was his boyfriend and not mine,” Felix said to you — more so screamed over the loud cheers and hollers of distress — and watched an agitated Changbin slump back down in his seat, eyes following the flying puck kissing the net of the red goalkeeper.

“Boyfriend?”

“Ah, right, of course Hyunjin wouldn’t talk about his friends. Anyways I’m dating number three in the red team, maybe you’ve heard of him. Bang Chan or Christopher, whatever seems fitting.”

Your mouth turned into an ‘o’ as the puzzle pieces clasped together. Felix never stopped smiling and even chuckled at your reaction. He found you endearing and understood why Hyunjin wouldn’t stop talking about you during their study sessions.

“I take it, you know him?”

“Mmmm, I wouldn’t say I know him but we had a brief encounter at a halloween party.”

“Ah, that’s cool. The world is really small, isn’t it?”

The buzzer beat you to an answer, indicating that the twenty minutes of the second period were out.

“Oh, and that’s halftime,” Felix said and stood up to stretch.

Changbin shot him a deadly stare, as if the figure skater cursed out his entire family. “You know it’s not called that. It’s an intermission!”

“Eh, we don’t keep up with all that in Australia. Halftime is halftime in whatever sport you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were Australian,” you admitted.

“What, really?” He said in English and then switched back to Korean. “All the people I meet point out I speak with an accent so I’m surprised you didn’t notice.”

“Yeah, now that you’ve said it I can actually hear like the faintest accent. Oh, that’s embarrassing of me.” You sheepishly smiled and scratched the back of your head.

“Nah, not really. Anyway, Bin-ie and I are gonna get some snacks, you guys want anything?”

“I’m alright, thank you though.”

Felix threw you a thumbs up and looked at Hyunjin for his reply.

“Yeah, surprise me with something good.”

“Gotcha! We’ll be back like a lil’ before they start if we don’t get held up by the bathrooms. Changbin sure does love to take his time there.”

As the duo followed the crowd out, you and Hyunjin fell into a comfortable silence and listened to the chatter of the people around you. For being your first time at a hockey game, you weren’t bored at all, despite being oblivious to the set of rules. Keeho did say something about fights being legal and you sincerely hoped to avoid that. The sport on ice you were aware of was so less violent, flashy and fast paced. It was so different from your figure skating which was more or less art or a story being conveyed by body language.

Nonetheless, you were still having a good time, even though much of it was spent getting acquainted with Hyunjin’s friends.

“So… what do you think of the game so far?”

Snapping from the ice taken over by a bunch of kids chasing each other and falling on their rears, you hummed and looked back at Hyunjin who already had his eyes on you.

“It’s interesting. I mean, it’s nothing like figure skating, obviously, but it’s cool… Do you guys always do this? Watch hockey?”

“Mmm, not always, but whenever Chan has a game we try to show our support just like he does whenever Lix or I have anything going on with our figure skating.”

“That’s sweet of you. That’s actually really cute,” you gushed and the thought reminded you of your own friend group. How Keeho and Dasom showed up at your competitions or the many times you and Keeho attended Dasom’s poetry slam.

Hyunjin leaned closer to you, a playful smile across his features. “I don’t like being called cute, but considering it’s coming from you I’ll let it slide.”

Taken back by the almost flirtatious side of Hyunjin, you bashfully looked away and cheekily covered your mouth, hiding the way your smile expanded at his comment. Hyunjin, attentive as always, took notice of the action and chuckled.

“How, uhm…”

You leaned back in your seat and braided your fingers together as the change of topic went from cheerful to sullen.

“I didn’t want to ask in front of those two, but yeah… How you holding up?”

Still trying to hold up your happy expression, you faced him and tilted your head, and Hyunjin had to physically hold back from planting a kiss on your cute nose.

“I’ve been alright. There’s not much I can do to be honest and I don’t want to dwell on it more than necessary, you know?”

“That’s understandable. Why think about the things that make you feel bad?”

“Exactly. I’ve decided to focus on the more happier things in life.” You grimaced as a hockey player tripped and smacked head first into the plastic glass. “Even if that is watching people get concussions for just 13.000 won.”

Hyunjin burst out laughing, elegantly covering his mouth with the back of his hand and tipping his head backwards. A laugh of your own lingered with his and the multiple cheers in the air.

“Three for three, Jeon Jungkook does it again! The nimble winger of the Blue Wolves can’t be stopped!”

The announcement sounded through the arena a few seconds after the red lights flashed behind the Tiger’s goal and buzzer erupted, nearly rupturing your eardrums. Jungkook was really on a blast tonight, you thought as you followed his retreating figure, making a mental note of remembering his jersey number. Although you had yet to find Mingi, you felt proud for at least figuring out Jungkook and Chan, completely dismissing the fact that you barely knew a handful of players on the ice.

“You’re doing great out there, Kookie.” Mingi dunked him on the back as they retreated to the neutral zone. “Make that into five out of five and I’ll treat you to some lamb skewers.”

The smirk stretched across Jungkook’s face could only be described as menacingly and with him in his element, Mingi knew they weren’t going to go down without a fight.

“Add steamed dumplings into the mix and I’ll double it.”

As the referee held the puck in the air between the red and blue centers, the rest of the players prepared themselves for another brawl over who put the puck behind the opposing net. Mingi was warm all over, and the extra weight of pads and equipment was taking a toll on his body, as well as defending his home base, but each time a player was stopped, the pride was enough to resurrect his energy. Glancing slightly to the side, everything moved in slow motion as he briefly made eye contact with the supporters of both teams. Some were screaming at him out of happiness and others with harmless distaste, angry at his ability to shut down the reds’ plays and advances. Moving further up the rows, it was like a headlight lit up a spot in the crowd, and suddenly, amongst the hundreds of people, he could make you out like a tulip in the middle of a meadow.

The hold around his stick tightened seeing you squished between pretty boy and an unrecognizable face, and Mingi promised he didn’t care. He didn’t care as pretty boy whispered something in your ear and he definitely didn’t care as you flung your head backward, and let out what probably was the most angelic laughter known to heaven. Smoke erupted from his nostrils and the moment the puck was in possession of the red team, the vibrant colored jerseys irked him like a matador irritatnig a bull. As the puck was in play, all sound ceased to exist and Mingi zeroed in on the players advancing forward.

Mingi would describe it as being underwater with all the noise distant and his movement sluggish no matter how hard he tried to lift his limbs, and if he wasn’t so aware of his surroundings, Mingi would certainly think he was losing one of his five senses.

See, although ice hockey was a sport all about seeing and physical contact, hearing was an important part too and if Mingi wasn’t revolted by your presence, he wouldn’t have missed the referee signaling an offside, and he wouldn’t have skated into the first player daring to cross the blue line that separated the defending and neutral zone.

The referee immediately blew his whistle and fully extended his right arm, fist clenched and eyes set on the defenseman, and time turned back to normal as a pop-like sound burst in Mingi’s ears. He barely managed to realize what happened when another body collided against his, pushing him straight into the boards. Chaos ensued as multiple players got involved trying to ease the situation, but the damage was already done and Mingi was sent to the penalty box — purposely avoiding the heavy gazes of the blue bench — along with whichever guy flew into him.

He cursed out loud as he slumped down on the bench. This was embarrassing on so many levels. It was one thing to ram into someone as payback, but lashing out for no apparent reason and after the whistle was (almost) unacceptable. He wanted to laugh at his stupidity; so much for not caring.

“What happened?” You asked no one in particular, surprised at the sudden turn of events.

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Ah, that Song Mingi, always up to no good,” Changbin grumbled, more so to himself than you.

You snapped your eyes to the plastic enclosure the blue player was sent off to and sunk your teeth into your bottom lip. Through the year you had known Mingi, you’d never guess he could really use his size and strength to quite literally floor another person. Hockey was a rough sport, that wasn’t news to you, and considering Mingi could use his strength to his advantage, it was probably why he was so sought after. You couldn’t shake away this feeling of awareness. Just now realizing how… big Mingi actually was and you didn't know whether it was relief or pride, knowing that of all the times you pushed him over the edge, never once did he raise a finger at you out of anger or spite.

Mingi may have been an asshole with 70% height and muscle, but he wasn’t a bad guy.

“That’s called roughing,” Felix started explaining. “It’s like… I wouldn’t say it’s an illegal move, but if done out of motive or in a way to really hurt the other player, it could lead to a minor penalty — a timeout — or game misconduct. But it all depends on how bad the situation is.”

“So he won’t play until the end of the game?”

“Nah, he’ll probably be out in like a few minutes,” Hyunjin answered for you and clapped as the red team scored, evening out the score board to five-five.

“Then the blue team will be a player short up until then?.”

“Pretty much,” Felix confirmed and popped a chip in his mouth.

You didn’t see how that could be fair, but then again, ice hockey wasn’t your forthe and as no one in the crowd was making a fuss over Mingi’s penalty — except for pointing out his poor judgment — you didn’t say much else, but hum in agreement. For twelve minutes, you didn’t pay attention to what was happening on the ice, only applauding when the crowd did and slumped back in your seat as the supporters groaned in disappointment. Your full attention was set on the lone player in the plastic box.

Worry, confusion and pity circled your mind and you wondered if this was how everyone felt seeing the placement of your figure skating competition. As soon as the thought made home in your head, you shooed it away, reminding yourself to focus on the happy things and not everything that was blue.

Forcing your eyes from Mingi, the most blue thing in the arena (both clothing and emotion wise) you zoned out and the players blurred into small vivid spots twirling on the ice like flies above a bowl of fruit. You didn’t understand where the worry came from or why it decided to take shelter in your stomach. It probably wasn’t Mingi’s first rodeo in the penalty box and wouldn’t be the last on either, and you recognized his sudden outburst as the one you saw a glimpse of at the party, right before you left him with that blonde police officer.

Mingi never lashed out in anger and if he did, you were never on the receiving end of it despite giving him back a tenfold of insults he greeted you with. Seeing him quite literally floor a guy his size, made your guts twist in discomfort. It was an emotion that didn’t look good on him at all.

The game was growing more intense with each minute passing and the atmosphere amongst the audience was also getting rowdier as the teams were practically neck and neck, neither willing to let up. The second Mingi stepped foot on the ice again, the whole arena blew up with cheers. It was like the almost extinguished torch of hope re-awakened into a bright and lively fire, and you too held onto the light of hope that the Blue Wolves would take it home, definitely because of your loyalty to Tiny University and not the growing affection for a certain defender in said school.

The puck was flying from one side of the rink to the other in just a matter of seconds with all players, excluding the goalkeepers, circling around and cashing the rubber like stone.

“Here, wanna help me hold this up?”

You didn’t know how you missed the big sign leaning against Felix’s legs, but you did. With a nod of agreement, you both took hold of each side of the white cardboard cutout and quickly looked at the glittery blue writing on it.

I am Chan’s #1 fan.

“Don’t judge, I made it like last second.” A blush kissed his cheeks and his eyes squeezed into crescent moons as you read the corny line.

“No, no! I think it’s cute.”

With ten seconds left of the game everyone in the arena stood up which made you and Felix raise the sign even higher. When everyone thought the game would end in a tie, a player from the defending line of the blue team somehow managed to steal the puck from two red players and sent it hurling across the rink, right in the sanctuary of his teammate’s stick who calculatedly launched it towards the red goal and past its keeper. The buzzer went off and chaos ensued. From what you could see all the Blue Wolves players crowded the scorer and dunked the defender who sent the winning assist, while the fans raised the volume through the roof. Whistling, cheers, laughter, even some old fashion booing circulated the arena.

Not all that upset with the outcome of the game, Felix applauded and turned to his friend who seemed to be quite butthurt. “Song really is crazy good, isn’t he Bin-ie?”

“Whatever, he’s lucky Jake sprained his ankle and couldn’t play today or he’d have them all eating ice. Ha! Get it, cause they’re playing on i–”

The rest of the conversation was tuned out as you focused on the celebrating team, trying to catch sight of eighty-nine. Your eyes traveled from one bulky player to another and then, as if your prayers were answered, the player came right into view.

Mingi walked beside a shorter guy clad in blue and you assumed it was Chan by the sole way he pointed up at you and the other guys. Your suspicion was confirmed as the helmet was removed and Chan’s face was illuminated by the strong lights. You could just make out the faint movement of his mouth, saying something to the giant beside him.

“Good to know your girl is cheering for the right team, Mings.”

Mingi followed the invisible line leading to where you stood and scanned the group of friends. He immediately recognized Hyunjin and the buff one, and he didn’t even manage to take a proper look at the third boy as his eyes found yours. Beautiful as ever, he thought and admired as much of you as possible. Your face, clothes, make-up and everything about you was perfect, and the passive aggressive comment was almost brushed to the side until he zeroed in on the paper in your hands. It was in that moment that the rose-tinted glasses slipped down his nose, jealousy quick to seep into every corner of his existence and he remembered why he’d been avoiding you for weeks.

Before he could send you a sharp (and unjustified) glare, he redirected his anger to the guy beside him.

“Oh, don’t be like that. She was the one to look at me first.

Mingi wasn’t a violent person, he really wasn’t, but there was no acceptable excuse for why he did what he did.

As if born ready for this day, Mingi used his teeth to tear off his gloves and pounced on Chan. One hand grabbed around the collar of his red jersey as the other was colliding with his cheek. He managed to get in two more punches — the first successfully collided with Chan’s jaw and the second just barely missed the bone of his nose — before Chan used his own limbs to defend himself. The red winger grabbed hold of Mingi’s helmet and snatched it off his head, and seized the chance to send a fist flying in his face, returning the punches he received from the blue defender. Red bruises quickly littered across their knuckles and warm blood covered their skin, the thick liquid pouring from both Chan’s nose and Mingi’s lip.

The crowd was going wild, the whistles of the referees were being ignored and it didn’t take long before the remaining players of each team were trying to separate the two brutes.

“Oh my God!”

Felix and Changbin flinched at your gasp.

“He’s fucking crazy. Hey! What the hell?!” Changbin jumped between the seats and rocketed down towards the ice with the rest of you hot on his heels.

The silence was deafening. Everyone was curious as to what was going on and why a fight ensued now that the game was over, usually the nose breaking happened on ice and not off. Whispers and rumors spread like a wildfire, some claimed it was the aftermath of adrenaline while others thought of something more extreme like hard drugs taking over. Nonetheless, the crowd riled them on, clearly finding joy in the brawl. You weren’t anywhere near when the referees and teammates broke them up, Mingi being forcefully sent towards the locker room as Chan stayed laying on the ground, crimson face and teeth no longer pearly white.

“What the hell, Mingi,” you muttered under your breath and slipped through the mass of people, running to where you assumed he’d be.

Your head was working a hundred miles an hour with the images of Mingi hunched over Chan, fists violently beating the blonde and a lot of blood covering his face. You were sure you’d never get them out of your head and you shuddered at the amount of red that ran down Chan’s nose. For the sake of the giant asshole you grew attached to, you hoped it wouldn’t put a stop to his career, both school- and sportwise. It would by far be his dumbest decision yet. For what even?

A group of reporters stood outside a door you assumed was reserved for the Blue Wolves and if that wasn’t enough of a give away then it was the loud cheers and victory singing echoing out to the hallway. In reality you wanted nothing more than to barge inside and interrupt their celebration — how they could celebrate after that bloodbath was still something you couldn’t wrap your head around — but you did no such thing. The moment the door opened you pushed the reporters aside and flew in with your head first, paying no mind to the perverse wolf whistles and cheers of the adrenaline drunken boys. You didn’t even bother with them as your eyes scanned the room that smelled of sweat and axe deodorant for him. Jungkook, seemingly the most normal one there (which spoke volumes), quickly understood why you were there and approached you with no teasing glint or malice in his gaze.

“Try looking by the abandoned gym on the ground floor. There’s a vending machine there we usually go to so I assume if he’s taken off somewhere it should be there.”

You wasted no time in turning on your heel and practically sprinting down the route you repeated like a mantra. First floor. Abandoned gym. Vending machine. First floor. Abandoned gym. Vending machine.

Lo and behold, he was right there and if it weren’t for the worry growing in your belly you’d go back upstairs and reward the playboy with a big smooch to his rosy lips.

Mingi sat down on the floor, legs up to his chest and forearms folded on his knees. His sweaty forehead was leaning against the skin of his arm and an anxious rhythm of his heart beat in his chest. It was hard to miss the red on his knuckles. Inhaling a shaky breath as if it would steady your own heart, your feet stopped before him falling right in his line of sight. Surprised at the unexpected company, Mingi looked up and got a first row ticket of the concern swimming in your eyes. You didn’t know what to expect going after him, but the annoyed — almost disgusted — scoff he let out cut through you like a knife and twisted as he looked back down. Despite the act of annoyance aimed at you, Mingi wasn’t actually that annoyed with you but rather with himself because after everything he still had the urge to reach for your touch and he hated it. His jaw clenched at the circumstance and his nails dug in the palms of his hands. You weren’t even supposed to be here, it made everything ten times harder than it should’ve been.

Having had enough of his pity party Mingi and the weight of your gaze judging him, he pushed up from his position and walked right past you. No hello, no second glances, just walking as if you were a ghost he couldn’t see let alone feel. His movements halted when you latched onto one of his wrists, knowing that if he truly wanted to get away he’d shake you off like a ragdoll and be on his merry way. Although he was with his back facing you, the fact that he stood rooted to the ground was the approval you seeked to continue with your winged attempt at getting him to speak.

“Mingi, what the hell was that?”

The two of you weren’t heavy on the use of honorifics, but hearing you spit his name out like that surely sent a shiver down his spine. You weren’t pissed off, he noticed, you were actually worried and it was quite amusing. The nerve you had of showing up after that fiasco to interrogate him about his actions. Who the hell did you think you were?

“Huh? Why did you do that?” Shaking his arm, you tried again. “Can you please say something? I’m worried for you and your silence isn’t helping, please just say something.”

Mingi didn’t budge and you were starting to lose it. The avoidance wasn't enough, now he was blatantly ignoring your attempt at helping too.

“What is your problem?! I’m trying to help you, something’s obviously happened so why won’t you tell me!”

Ripping his wrist out of your hold, he turned around and it took every particle in you not to cower at his sharp eyes staring you down.

“You want to know what my problem is?” His loud voice bounced off the walls and punched you right in the gut.

There was so much anger in his gaze, his tone and his body. Everything screamed of anger and you didn’t even know why you were on the receiving end of his emotions. You were just trying to help.

“You! You are my fucking problem!”

“What?”

“As if you don’t know what you’re doing. Acting all nice and cutesy like we are friends, like you’re interested in ever befriending me which now that I think about is so stupid because you and I? What a joke. We’re a fucking joke!”

“What are you even talking about?!”

Mingi scoffed again. He looked to the side, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. There were so many thoughts going through his head and all he could think about was what words to use to hurt you the most. To make you feel the hurt he did.

“First, you invite me to your stupid competition and then you come to my game sitting with him! Was this all a game, huh? To get back at me for all the dumb shit I did to you because if it is then wow, you’ve really proven yourself to be more shallow and boneless than I ever thought. I mean, you’re really going out of your way to get under my skin and act like a fucking–”

Mingi closed his eyes and clamped his mouth shut, the veins on his neck were more prominent than ever and his face was almost identical to the red color of Dasom’s hair. He really needed to calm down before he said something he’d regret. Not that it mattered, the damage was already done and he knew the aftermath was already biting him in the ass. Shit, the look of your glossy eyes was quick to make his inside burn with remorse.

Each insult was a poisoned arrow aimed at your heart. The words physically hurt you more than ever before and you weren’t aware just how mean Mingi could be. Your previous bickering never stooped on a level this low before and it brought tears to your eyes but even that wasn't enough to stop his rant. Not wanting to be caught vulnerable in front of the guy who was practically stepping on you with his shoes, you quickly wiped away the tears that managed to escape.

Mingi knew he was taking his frustration out on you and he knew it wasn’t fair because you hadn’t done anything wrong. It all kept piling on his shoulders. All the instances he saw you two together; the joint practices, your embarrassed giggles any time Hyunjin breathed, watching him console you in the hallways like a poor reenactment of a romcom, sitting so close together at his game, shoulders touching a little too close for Mingi’s liking… If that stupid piece of cardboard was a bomb waiting to be activated, then Chan was the flame that set everything off.

“Oh, great. This is really great now you’re fucking crying too. You think some tears are going to make me feel bad? They won’t, I don’t care anymore okay? I’m done with you and your fucking shit. So go back to your prince fucking charming and don’t even bother looking for me, you hear? I’m fucking done!”

You shrunk back at his unwavering and stern voice. Having nothing more to say Mingi stormed away, blood boiling and hands shaking as the final words set in. The last you saw of him before gut-wrenching sobs wrecked your body was the door slamming up against the wall and back the doorframe so hard the walls vibrated. And later that same night when Mingi got home, he wouldn’t even be surprised if you decided to never look at him again, let alone speak with him.

Different emotions tore you apart and it was hard to make sense of anything that happened in the past ten minutes. The questions — what, why, how — were endless and you wanted to go home, preferably dig a hole in your bed and not come out until better days, whenever that would be you didn’t know. Tears burned your cheeks like lava and snot tickled your nose, dropping off your chin and onto your shirt. With the already wet sleeve of your sweater you wiped everything off your face, not in the right mind to care about what Keeho would say about his precious shirt. Like a baby cub seeking its momma bear for comfort, you retreated home yearning for the closest touch of a mother you could find.

“You have reached the voicemail of Choi Dasom. Please leave a message after the beep.”

After the fifth attempted call, you gave up and continued trudging home. Dark clouds hovered over Seoul and the light pelts of rain quickly became a downpour. Being picked up on Dasom’s bike didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore.

Unlocking the front door of your shared apartment you were greeted with Hongjoong and Dasom sitting awfully close on the couch. They jumped apart as you harshly dropped the keys in the fruit bowl and froze at the sight of you; bawling, wet and shivering. Skipping the formalities you wasted no time diving in the shower and by the time you ventured back out, Hongjoong was nowhere to be seen as if the boy was never there to begin with and you couldn’t have been more relieved. You’ve had enough boys for the next ten years of your life.

“Beans?”

It was probably the dumbest thing to cry about, but your lips still quivered and the tears you just managed to stop surfaced at the nickname. The girl caught you in her arms and you buried your head in her shoulder as your cries got louder. Dasom offered you solace with gentle rubs to your back and patiently waited until your labored breathing became even.

“Let’s get you to bed,” she whispered and slowly guided you to your bedroom.

Attentive as always she helped you get under the covers and shuffled in beside you to which you immediately buried your face in her bosom, her hand slank under your neck and connected with the other at the back of your head. You lay there in each other’s presence and listened to the coexisting beat of your hearts. Dasom didn’t try coaxing the troubles out of you and you heaved out a big breath. A wave of exhaustion washed over you at the constant tears and after waking up from passing out of exhaustion, you knew you’d be a victim of an unbearable headache and heavy feet. The whisper of your name was loud in the silent room and you hummed in reply, letting the other girl know you were in fact awake.

“You wanna talk about it?”

The most obvious thing would be to talk about it; talk about why you burst through the door, face wet and not entirely because of the rain. Your mom always told you to never sleep with an empty stomach, a busy mind or a heavy heart and while you didn’t appreciate the advice at the minute, future-you would (hopefully) think back to this moment and thank you for your courage. Dasom followed in tow as you sat up criss-crossed, taking your hands in hers and giving them comforting squeezes every once in a while. By the time she was pulled through the story of your evening — meeting Changbin and Felix, having a good time with Hyunjin, to seeing Mingi beat the living shit out of Chan and then him lashing out on you — the clock struck somewhere between two and three in the morning, courtesy of a few short crying breaks in between. Glancing up at your friend who was still digesting the events, you felt lighter at the thought of having your very own sun sharing warmth and hope wherever she went.

“He likes you,” she eventually said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You sniffled and wiped at your nose again, hands falling to play with the bedsheet.

“He doesn’t.”

“How do you know who I’m talking about?”

You thought you ran out of tears hours ago but were proven wrong as a new batch stung your eyes and eventually trickled down your sore cheeks. Dasom pulled you in another soul crushing hug and held the back of your head, nails gently massaging your scalp.

“Why are you crying, bean?”

Through tears and her thick cardigan you replied. “Because we aren’t talking about Hyunjin, are we? He’s the one we should be talking about.”

“But we aren’t and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

It felt wrong crying over someone who held no significance in your life just a few months ago. The same guy who riled you up like it was his daily dose of sunshine and who set it as his life mission to have you curse him out. The guy who called you stupidly cute nicknames and walked you home at night, offering up his jacket to keep you warm and safe from colds. The guy who didn't turn up to your competition and then lived in your head like an annoying song playing on repeat refusing to disappear. The same guy who shook you to your core with his angry words and fiery gaze.

“Why am I like this?”

“Like what?”

Dasom wasn’t foolish. She knew what you were going through and could only hope you’d come to terms with the unknown feelings rather than to be the one revealing the reason behind your heartbreak.

“Drawn to a guy who’s mean and an asshole when I have the perfect one right there, waiting and catering to my every need.”

“I know I’m supposed to hate him for the things he’s said to you and I do, I really do bean…. so if you think I won’t at least glare him down in the hallways then I’m revoking your position as my best friend… But I’m going to be completely honest with you, bean because that’s what you deserve. I think something else must have triggered him to lash out, it couldn’t just have been because you were simply sitting beside Hyunjin.”

She gently played with your hair as the words sank in.

“He really hurt me.”

“I know, bubs and I’m so sorry. Know that nothing excuses that behavior.”

“Then why do I still think of him even when he’s shit. Why won’t my brain let me be happy with Hyunjin?” You broke from the huge and fell back on the bed, hands gripping the sheets as if they held all the answers to your questions.

“Hyunjin is safe. We all like the safe and predictable, right?”

Your nod of agreement spurred her on.

“But Mingi, oh Mingi, is exciting. He drives you crazy, keeps you on your toes and throws you off course yet you can’t ever really get enough of him no matter how much it annoys you. I see it and I’ve been seeing it for months now and I promise this is the most objective version of me speaking right now.”

“But I like Hyunjin,” you whined, refusing to accept your own feelings.

“And you like me and Kyo too,” Dasom whispered softly, like a breeze passing through a field. “But we don’t fall in Mingi’s category.”

The days leading up to the holidays were spent within the four walls of your room waiting for the time to pass until you’d take your suitcase and haul ass across the country, definitely not because you were afraid to stumble across the very person you were avoiding. After the not so pleasant discovery you didn’t know what to make of yourself or your feelings. You couldn’t just phone him and proclaim your undying love because last time you checked, he explicitly made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you. You from a few months ago would throw a party big enough to think it was for a quinceañera or a sweet sixteen celebration with this information, but the present-you acted like Bella Swan during the disappearance of Edward Cullen just a tad bit less depressing.

Dasom was the first to leave. Her parents surprised her with a vacation to Jeju-island and her flight left the first morning of winter break. Keeho was still in the city but with college out of the way, he took on more working hours than usual. His immediate family lived in Canada and the plane ticket would be more expensive than the salary he’d get over the next two weeks. With your two friends unavailable you passed time thinking about the one who shall not be named and realized how unfortunate the whole situation was. You also realized you probably wouldn’t act upon your feelings as you didn’t with Hyunjin and would just let them flow until evaporating into thin air.

Speaking of Hyunjin, you and him still texted back and forth albeit the conversations were slow and not nearly as exciting as you once found them to be. Your sudden disappearance at the hockey game was covered with a quick lie of ‘not feeling well’, which he immediately believed because, why wouldn’t he? Christmas wasn't anything special. It started with an early message of Hyunjin wishing you a Merry Christmas attached with a selfie of him in a Santa hat and fake beard, and the rest of the day was spent inside with your family watching movies and drinking hot cocoa.

The new year was welcomed on the couch where a bump would sooner or later be formed and that alone was enough to explain the excitement level in the household. You all went to sleep a little after midnight and as you laid in your childhood bedroom, feet almost sticking out of the small bed, you mindlessly scrolled down the explore section of Instagram. A pang of sadness struck you at the picture staring back at you through the screen. It was a post of Mingi and his friend — the golden retriever looking one — posing on a snowy mountain both clad in skiing gear. The taller of the two had an arm slung over Mingi’s shoulder who, in return, sported a boyish grin and held up a peace sign. The split lip had healed perfectly and the only indicator of him being in a fight was the slight plum colored mark under his eye (courtesy of a nice punch delivered to his nose). At least someone was happy with you out of their lives.

Angry, sad and just tired, you exited the app and shoved your phone under the pillow drowning out your scream. You didn’t even know why his post landed on your feed. Wasn’t the explore page supposed to show videos of millennials doing cringy trends and not the most recent activity of the dude that shit all over you.

This continued on for days. While you were decomposing in your room he was updating his Instagram account as if a celebrity. Pictures and videos of him clubbing until the early hours of the morning, pretty girls and tables full of alcohol captured in short stories and then a complete 180; sharing clips of him flying down snowy mountains, doing stunts and whatnot.

If he was so upset with you, why were you the one wasting days self wallowing? It wasn’t like you could party away the worry. Your hometown was the size of a nut meaning A) you knew everyone and their mother, and B) every person in a ten mile radius was well-over the age of forty and the closest thing that came as a party would be the retirement home down the street. Then again, playing bingo with the grannies was better than binge watching gut-wrenching dramas. At least you’d be clearing your ‘to watch-list’.

The weeks passed in a blur and, before you knew it, you were back in the comfort of your apartment with two days to spare until classes started rolling again. Dasom would be home the day after and Keeho was either passed out in his apartment or working his second shift of the day, leaving you to unpack the chaos sealed inside your suitcase. Swirls of snow beat violently against the windows, turning the outside world into a winter wonderland. The heavy weather picked up on your journey home and as you traveled halfway back to Seoul, the ground was slowly being covered in white flakes. You only got so far with your unpacking when a series of knocks rattled against the front door.

“What’s uuuuup?!” Keeho screeched as you opened the door and an equally excited Dasom rolled in with her red large suitcase.

“What are you doing here?!”

They pulled you into a hug. Keeho’s loudness and Dasom’s giggles warmed up the place in no time and you immediately felt better.

“Surprise!”

“I hate you guys!” You exclaimed and squeezed their waists, head resting on Keeho’s shoulder with Dasom’s nose buried against your chest.

“Don’t lie, we know you love us. Now let’s get this bitch started!”

Scurrying to the kitchen Keeho brought back three animated cups; one with Naruto, Totoro and–

“You’re not drinking beer from the cup plastered with a picture of my dead cat!”

“Of course not, that one’s yours. Mine’s the Naruto one and Dasom gets Totoro, for obvious reasons.”

Said girl skipped quickly to the pantry and pulled out multiple bags of snacks. The huge smile on her face got you all curious.

“What’s got you all happy?”

“Nothing, I've just missed you guys! Jeju was fun but it would’ve been better with you there,” she pouted and poured the snacks into separate bowls.

“Pfft, don’t listen to her. She’s been texting that Cruella de Vil boy all winter break.”

Her smile grew and grew until it was a full blown grin and you squealed in delight, genuinely happy for your friend despite the green monster gnawing at the back of your head.

“Tell me everything, c’mon!”

“Ah, ah, ah!” The fun and what would be the start of a girls’ night was interrupted by Keeho. “I should be the one asking you that, little miss I’m in love with my greatest enemy.”

Gasping, you turned to Dasom. “You told him?!”

“So it’s true?!”

He leaned towards you and nearly snickered as your hands covered your mouth — if it weren’t for the serious circumstance — and stared at him with wide eyes. You walked right into his trap and as you told him everything that happened — the good and the bad — Dasom threw her hand out, palm facing upward..

“Pay up, pretty boy!”

“They aren’t even together!”

Dasom, a feral little chihuahua, jumped on him and a wrestling match took place in the middle of the living room. You couldn’t find it in you to be mad or upset. Leaning back against your arms, you watched them with a smile tugging at your lips. This is what you missed back in your childhood home. As much as you loved your family, the one you built in the heart of Seoul was very dear to you.

The ding of your phone snapped you out of your love-struck daze.

Hyunjin [07:16 PM] you back home yet?

You [07:16 PM] yeah, arrived a few hours ago

Hyunjin [07:16 PM] im glad

Hyunjin [07:16 PM] how was it?

You [07:17 PM] Good to see the family again but God did I miss my bed

You [07:17 PM] What were you up to?

Hyunjin [07:17 PM] yeah no kiddin ik exactly what u mean

Hyunjin [07:17 PM] Nothing much, did a lot of practice on the choreo w Iseul

You [07:17 PM] Ohhhh how’s that coming along?

Hyunjin [07:17 PM] it’s good but nowhere near perfect

You scoffed at the reply.

You [07:17 PM] I’m sure you’ll get it down in no time

Keeho harshly grabbed your shoulders, peering down at the screen but not comprehending any of the words.

“And who are you texting?”

“Hyunjin.”

“Hyunjin!” Dasom sang, already tipsy from the soju she downed while you were busy typing away.

“And what does Mr. Popular want?"

Hyunjin [07:19 PM] wanna help me practice?

Author's note pt.2: There's one thing I'd like to say regarding this chapter. When it comes to significant others, situation ships, partners, etc do not ever let anyone speak to you in a condescending matter. It doesn't matter how upset they are or what you've done for them to explode, you should never, and I really mean NEVER let anyone talk down to you. The only reason I didn't make MC obliterate Mingi is for the sake of the story, otherwise I'd have her drag him along the streets of Seoul like a dog, lmao. Anyway, if anyone speaks to you like Mingi did to MC in their fighting scene, please either leave/break up or put them in their place. You deserve to be treated with respect and love as much as anyone else.

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xadianglyphs · 4 months ago

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The Dragonscale Amulet: Theory

And finally... literally the reason I made this entire blog. Basically, back in March we had this:

Anyway, I dropped literally everything to catalog the entire breadth of writing, runes, glyphs, etc. in the series so far, all in order to figure out what the hell this means. One theory that has evolved in the meantime is that the symbol on the amulet represents an acorn or seed, but I would like to propose another.

First, let's look at the amulet and symbol, themselves.

The amulet is composed of a dragon scale (allegedly, at least... we haven't seen dragon scales separated from dragons anywhere else) that is red, highly reflective (whether naturally or polished after the fact), and about palm-sized. By that scale, it probably comes from a dragon about Pyrrah's size or a little larger, unless it was carved down to a smaller size when crafted into an amulet. The scale is anchored in a gold setting, with a shape and decorations that have a fair amount of similarity to the Staff of Ziard. (Maybe we should have anticipated an Aaravos/Startouch association.)

As for the symbol, accounting for perspective (to the best of my abilities), we have this:

The symbol is etched directly into the scale's surface. Its lines are less smooth than the ones decorating the setting, which could indicate that it was added at another time (earlier/later) with a less precise tool, or just that gouging designs into dragon scales is hard.

In terms of similarity to other symbols we've seen so far, it could come from a similar system as the symbols in Infantis Sanguine. It also has similarities to a primal rune, though the sharp, wide corners are unusual. Either way, I think this is a pictographic symbol representing an item or concept as a whole, not an alphabetic character—this isn't Laurelion personally going around with a blinged-out "L" necklace.

So what could it be? Well, I propose that it's a heart. Like so:

My initial impression had the horizontal top "crossbar" as the pulmonary arteries, and the vertical center line as the aorta/vena cava, but you could also look at the crossing vertical and diagonal lines as dividing the space into the four chambers of the heart. However, I think there's another direction to go with that diagonal, so let's put a pin in that for a moment.

Why a heart? Because there has a sizeable amount of fairly convincing speculation post-s4 that the dark space in Aaravos's chest is either figuratively or literally representing his heart having been removed. @raayllum's are a lot more coherent, but I've also done my share.

I'm sure someone had this thought before I did, if only because I was super late to the fandom. But I had it!

... okay right, back to the amulet.

Aaravos's heart is also a key part of the "Laurelion and Aaravos are the same person" theory, in part because Laurelion's heart is the center of everything we currently know about them.

Laurelion's heart was pierced by either the as-yet-unnamed Novablade itself or a piece of draconic ivory (i.e. a dragon's tooth) that was later forged into the Novablade, after which "immortal Laurelion was no more."

Aside from creating an additional connection between Laurelion and dragons, making the dragon scale of the amulet even more interesting, let's go back to the symbol in light of the whole "pierced" thing.

Now, TDP has a fair amount of Christian symbolism and imagery to it, some purely because of how deeply Christianity is embedded in western culture but some also definitely intentional. Aaravos was initially framed as a Prometheus figure, but it became progressively more clear that he's a Lucifer one—a tempter, a rebel angel, out to destroy creation. They absolutely know what they're doing with things like the *checks watch* 2019 Aaravos birthday post:

So don't think it's completely insane to take that, Laurelion's death[citation needed], and the amulet symbol, and think of this:

Depictions of the Sacred Heart don't seem to usually show the spear, just the wound, but I wasn't raised Catholic so work with me here. (If you want to get even more Catholic, there's also the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which is almost always depicted with a sword piercing it diagonally all the way through because she's... sad? Look, I don't know.) The idea is that it represents the boundless and fervent love of God expressed through the suffering of Jesus, which... whatever.

I do think it's interesting, however, that we are primed to question Laurelion's "death" and concepts of mortality/immortality, death of identity, etc. in the context of Startouch elves because while there's definitely a possibility that an immortal being stripped of their immortality is a punishment, there's also... a lot of cultural precedent for that as a willing gift of love to a mortal/mortals, whether you're looking at Jesus, Castor and Pollux, or Arwen and Aragorn. So we'll see how that plays out.

Anyway, that's my weird fringe theory: the amulet symbol represents Laurelion's pierced heart.

Probably time to worry about Claudia. (As if we weren't, already.)

Bonus:

#this actually wound up shorter than i thought it would be #dragonscale amulet #analysis #meta

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russellsppttemplates · 1 year ago

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Breathe for me (Pierre Gasly)

Y/N's anxiety has been building throughout the week and it finally crumbled down

Note: english is not my first language. As you maybe know by now, talking about these subjects is a big responsibility for me, but I always hope that I've represented it well enough. It is different for different people, so what I have here is a possible scenario and not the only scenario.

Tags: @myloverjk-blog

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions reader's anxiety symptoms which build up to an anxiety attack

You and Pierre had been invited to join his friends for dinner, and while you thought you were better from last night, things were showing otherwise. Walking around with your skirt unzipped, you tapped your tummy in hopes that the nervous feeling would settle once for all.

Things had felt off throughout the wholr day, it just hadn't been feeling right. And, quite honestly, the last thing you wanted to do was to go and sit through a dinner, pretending you were fully composed when, deep down, your mind kept racing and you couldn't shut it off.

It wasn't because of the company, after all, you had known them for a good while and even felt comfortable around them to the point where admitting what was going on wouldn't be an issue, but right now, Pierre seemed to be the only person you could be with and not feel overwhelmed.

"Amour, do you need- hey, are you feeling okay?", Pierre asked, noticing your nervous stance as you paced around the bedroom, "hey, talk to me, please", he asked, stopping you on your tracks and holding you in place as softly as he could.

"I don't know if I can go. I'm not feeling very well, so I think it's best if you go and I stay", you said, genuinely wanting him to go and have a good time, knowing you wouldn't be the best company right now and that this particular group of friends hadn't been together at the same place in quite some time.

Pushing you to sit on the bed and sitting next to you, Pierre laced his fingers in yours while making sure you were looking at him and taking in every word he said, "hey, we don't need to go. I can call them and tell them we can't make it, they'll understand", he offered, "I want you to be okay, no matter what", he said, "but you can go, I'll just stay here. You haven't seen them in a while and you don't need when you will all have the opportunity to get together again", you said. Finding today to be the date where everyone was available had been enough of a struggle.

"I'm not leaving you feeling like this. I'm staying", Pierre said, grabbing comfier clothes from the wardrobe and helping you undress, "we are going to have a cosy night in, how does that sound?", he asked.

After changing into comfortable clothes, you and Pierre stayed tucked in bed after he texted his friends, his arms protectively around you as you managed to relax a little bit, happy to stay in his embrace while he read a book with you.

"Do you think we can get that done until Friday?", one of your colleagues asked, "the client needs it for their meeting, apparently he's having dinner with the investors", she rolled her eyes.

"I think I can, but they should really stop and think about doing these things in such a rushed way, I mean, it's not the first time we're almost running against the clock", you reasoned back, booking another meeting with her to sort out the last final details before handing the project in.

The uneasiness feeling that had been with you since you woke up was not sitting right, so when you logged off your laptop, you decided that working out would be a good distraction and allow you to forget about it.

"Are you heading for a run?", Pierre asked you as he walked inside the bedroom, seeing you put on your sports bra, "I was planning on doing some yoga, maybe go for a walk after", you said, watching him walk over to the drawer where he kept his workout clothes, "do you mind if I joing you? I promise I won't utter a word", he smirked, kissing your cheek and changing from his day clothes.

You and Pierre arranged the room so you could lay the mats, pressing play on the video and doing your best to mimick the moves and positions the young woman was going on the screen. You weren't an expert by all means, but exercise had always been a good escape when you felt overwhelmed, and having Pierre with you, even if you weren't talking or touching, made you feel his support and attentiveness.

"Still up for that walk?", he asked as he handed you your bottle of water, "yes, I think so", you smiled.

Walking on that park had become a common thing for you, being almost able to walk with your eyes closed from how many times you had been there, "are you feeling better now?", Pierre asked.

By now, he had noticed your patterns and preferences, so it wasn't too hard for him to notice that your day hadn't been the best, "yes, thank you for joining me. I know you know you don't need to, but I'm happy you did", you sighed, "my deadline just became a lot more real, so I need to hurry. But I'm also aware I can't do much if I'm worried, so here I am, trying to shush the worry away, at least for a bit", you explained, feeling your boyfriend squeeze your hand in his, "you did well, amour".

Work was finally over, you had handed in your project and you thought it would make you feel at ease, that it would allow you to finally feel a little bit lighter, but it didn't. Your thoughts were still spiralling, and they didn't seem like they were on the way to settling down. Your legs started to feel tingly, and you didn't trust them to stay up, so you sat on the living room floor with your back against the sofa, letting your body feel the softness of the rug while your lungs felt like they couldn't get enough air inside them.

You closed your eyes, trying to regulate your breathing as best as you could when you heard a noise far away, approaching quickly as you could make out your name in what the person was saying.

"Amour, Y/N, hey...! Breathe for me, yeah?", said as you tried your best to follow his voice and block out everything else, feeling Pierre's hand coming to hold your own, the feel of his fingers very faint as you struggled in regulating your unsteady breathing, "Y/N, hey, hey, you're okay, amour. Everything is fine, okay?", he urged you to follow his voice, something you had mentioned before that always calmed you.

Encouraging you to breathe with him, you finally got up to his rhythm, looking up to his eyes and despite the worry in them, you also saw the calm that comes after the storm has passed. How it all seems too much, it bursts, and then you're just left with the aftermath.

"There you go, that's good, good, just like that", he said, sitting on the floor and sitting on your side so he could pull your body against his, seeing you were struggling to hold yourself upright.

You stood there a couple of minutes, your eyes closing for a little bit before you croaked a few words out, "can we go to the sofa, please?", feeling his arms go around your back and under your knees, swiftly pulling you against him and getting up from his spot, walking to the sofa and cuddling there with you, brushing your hair with his fingers.

"Do you want some water? A snack perhaps", he advised, "I'm just a little tired, but thanks", you smiled weakly, "you're alright, ma belle, take all the time you need".

You must have fallen asleep on your boyfriend's chest, because when you woke up he was still there, but the window was no longer letting sunlight in and rather moonlight, the TV was on what looked like the evening news and you could feel a blanket covering you and Pierre.

"Hey, you", he whispered, kissing your forehead as he helped you sit up straight, "are you feeling better? A little more rested?", he asked, brushing the hairs away from your eyes, "yes, I am", you smiled, "thank you".

"Those hadn't happened in a while", he pointed out, "yes, it had been a while. I've been able to manage it, but it just crumbled today, before I could get it together, it's just crumbled", you explained

"That's okay, it happens, amour. You're still very strong to have managed ti well, I'm proud of you", he said honestly. Pierre always made you feel safe and never once judged you, instead always wanting to learn how to help you when you needed him and how he could make things better for you. So he wasn't lying when he said he was proud of you and how far you had come.

"My throat is a bit dry", you said, getting up and being followed by Pierre to the kitchen, sipping on the water as he grabbed something to snack on, "do you want some food?", he asked, "no, I'm good", you stated.

"What happened that got you to have the attack?", he wondered, "I handed in my project today. It had been building the last few days, and I was so sure they would be gone by the time I submitted it", you shrugged your shoulders, "now I know what to expect", you smiled, wanting to comfort Pierre and erase the crease between his eyebrows.

"Do you want to go and watch a movie? There's a new Disney one I haven't seen yet", he changed the subject, having gotten the information he needed and looking for a distraction, "Lead the way, handsome".

#pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly fanfic #pierre gasly x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine

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arthenaa · 2 years ago

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Hi!!!! Can I request Sebastian and maybe ominis reactions to mc being chosen for the Triwizard tournament and mc competing? Kinda angsty more like hurt/comfort? Romantic please 🤭

triwzard tournament reaction: ominis x gn! reader, sebastian x gn! reader

content warnings: hurt/comfort, argument, boys worry over your well-being, angst. established relationship for sebastian, friends to lovers for ominis, theyre a bit mean on this one

a/n: heya anon! sorry it took awhile but here it is hehe im still not sure if i did it right to be honest. im fairly new to the hp world (even tho i did watch the movies, my knowledge fairly skimmed the surface of how the world works and its lore) anys here ya gooo. grammatical mistakes will be fixed soon sorrz its 3 am.

Sebastian Sallow

The moment he heard the headmaster announce your name as the champion for this year's triwizard tournament, he immediately fell silent.

You knew you were supposed to rejoice at the chance of representing your school in a tournament between 3 of Europe's biggest wizarding schools.

But the moment the brunette falls silent beside you, you couldn't help but look at him in concern

It was hard trying to assess the unreadable look on his face with how loud your schoolmates' cheers were.

You could feel Imelda's hands pulling you to stand up and join the other champions but you remain seated, eyes trained on Sebastian.

He finally notices your unmoving figure beside him and sends you a forced smile; encouraging you to take your place with them.

Eventually, you did. Trying to force yourself to be happy for being chosen.

After the headmaster called for a small break to allow the champions to mingle with their peers before the planning of their first task, you immediately went to find the brunette.

You had gone to Ominis first. The blonde told you that Sebastian immediately walked out of the hall right after the announcement but didn't know where. The blonde's guess was that he went to the undercroft.

And so you went to find your boyfriend to get the bottom of his sudden disappearance.

a/n: went hard on this one, was listening to september by sparky deathcap

"Sebastian." You called out as you entered the undercroft. You immediately spot his figure leaning against one of the pillars, eyes trained on the triptych in front of him. You stand, a few meters from him, hesitant in approaching due to his closed off body language.

He had been like this since the moment you were announced to be Hogwarts' champion for the Triwizard Tournament. It was an expected choice from the public, given your recent feats as a wizard but expecting your young friend to be happy for you—You're instead met with his silence.

You're suddenly aware of the tall and invisible wall that Sebastian had built up between the two of you once again. It happened once and it happened again, but this time it's because of you.

"Sebastian, what's wrong?" You ask calmly as you make slow and careful steps towards the boy. His eyes leave the triptych and now focus on the dusty surface of the floor. He smiles but its not reaching his eyes.

"It's nothing. Congrats." He mumbles, tone forced and stiff. You huff out a sigh as you stand in front of him with head tilted, face confused. Sebastian finally takes the moment to glance at you.

"Seriously? Are we doing this again?" You raise your eyebrows, eyes challenging him. After that thing with Anne and Solomon, Sebastian begun to distance himself around you and Ominis. It was understandable given the severity of his actions but it was ultimately an annoyance you have to deal with when he becomes closed off and reluctant to share his feelings.

It should've been that way. That he should be more open with you now considering what you both went through but apparently, it just hardened that stupid resolve of his.

"What are you— Look, I'm happy for you. Really. What else do you want me to say?" His tone becomes more frustrated and annoyed, your meddling certainly set off a fuse in his brain. You scoff at his indifference to your concern for him.

"I'm not asking about that, Sebastian. I already know you're not happy about it, no matter how many times you say it to my face," You retort, taking a step closer to him. He looks away, face contorted into a cold look. You raise your hand up, index finger pushing his chin to move his face towards yours. Your eyes meet brown. "I'm asking why you're suddenly closed off and angry about it. You left the hall out of nowhere, for Merlin's sake."

Silence lapses between the two of you as he looks at your eyes with a range of emotions. First it was indifference, then sadness, then desperation then finally, anger. He pushes your hand from his chin, stepping back as he runs his palm across his face.

"Sebastian—"

"Did you really have to put your name in the Goblet of Fire?" He asks, voice wavering as he look up at you through his lashes. You heave a sigh, licking your lips as you're unable to answer his question.

It takes a while for you to answer but you did.

"Professor Weasley thought of me to be a great representative, Sebastian." You try to reason with him, watching as he paces back and forth. His hands become obsessively occupied with his hair, fingers running back and forth his curls that you have the urge to calm them down but then he suddenly stops to look at you with such misguided anger, you had to take a step back to fully process it.

"But did you really have to?" Sebastian asks once more but this time his tone was evident of irritation. "Y/N, you're threading on very dangerous waters. You've barely been accustomed to living here and yet—"

"Are you saying I can't handle it?" You raise an eyebrow at him, disbelief in his lack of trust on you. His shoulders lower as he raises his head to look up at the ceiling before raising his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. It was a habit he often did whenever he was exhausted or not in the mood. "Do you not trust me?"

Your heart begins to fill with heavy feelings.

"Stop putting words in my mouth," He snaps as turns around, hand rubbing his chin as he paces a few meters away from you.

"Really? Cause it very well sounds like you don't," Your voice begins to shake but you will yourself not to break in front of him. Suddenly, guilt and regret fills your body, an effect of Sebastian's irritation with your decision to join the Triwizard Tournament. You wanted to join and you knew you could handle yourself well. It was just so mind boggling that the moment you saw Sebastian's disapproving face that it would suddenly affect your decision altogether. But alas, you were already chosen and it was too late to back out now. "I can handle myself very well. Need I remind you of the things that I've done in the past few months? I even defeated you in DADA—"

"That's not what this is about, for fucks sake, Y/N!" He yells all of a sudden that it causes you to flinch. The emotions you've been repressing suddenly began to start rising. You fall silent, hands curled into fists to stop yourself from bawling in front of him. "This is more than that measly fucking battle we had back then. You don't realize what you're getting yourself into and it's killing me."

You couldn't understand why he was like this. If he only just told you why, you would certainly understand.

You bite your lip as thoughts began to fill up your mind. You felt pathetic and pitiful. You felt as if you've disappointed him and you knew that this was something that should've never bothered you but this was your boyfriend. The person you expected to support you first amongst a sea of people. It didn't hurt wanting a bit of validation from him.

You didn't realize that the waterworks had already started to fall until you notice Sebastian's face soften at you. He moves towards you with haste, hands cupping your face to wipe the tears that continuously poured down your face. "Merlin, I didn't mean to— Fuck, I-I'm sorry."

You push his hands away as your face contorted into a look of anguish. "Why? Why do you always do this?"

"I-I don't—"

"Why do you always close yourself off? To Ominis, to Anne. To me?" You whisper, eyes swollen and red from crying. "You put a wall around yourself before I can even have the chance to understand why. You don't want to make me understand you, Sebastian."

He falters in front of you, eyes brimming with tears as he hesitantly reaches to grasp your robes. He finds comfort in the fact that he's still able to reach for you even if it's just the material of your cloak.

"I won't be able to understand why you're so angry about this." You continue, sniffling as he looks down in shame. "I'm one fucking person. I can't read your mind."

"I know that—"

"Then fucking tell me what's wrong?!" You yelled in frustration. He flinches at your tone, eyes looking up at you in surprise. You take a step closer, grasping his face in your hands. "You have to tell me what you're feeling, love. Tell me so that I can understand, please."

You trail off as a tear escapes your eye. He licks his lips as his eyebrows furrow in contemplation. He heaves out a shaky sigh before leaning into your touch.

"I'm scared," He starts off, voice small and weak. "The Triwizard Tournament is dangerous and things can happen unexpectedly, Y/N. People died because of it."

Your eyes are trained on him as tears began pouring down his face. He holds your hands on his face, grip tight and desperate.

"I'm scared you'll get hurt because of something or someone and I won't be there to—" He cuts himself off, letting out a sob. "No one can help you in there, Y/N. Back then with Ranrok, I didn't feel like this because me and the others were there. But this, this is different."

Your face falls with realization as he takes a step forward to press his forehead against yours.

"I-I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. I can't. I can't—"

You cut him off as you lift yourself up on your toes to press your lips against his. He immediately returns the kiss, allowing you to pull him close as you feel the taste of your tears on his lips.

There's no passion or lust evident in the kiss. It was only a silent communication between the two of you. Sebastian pours his unsaid feelings through the press of his lips against yours and you receive it wholeheartedly as you return his kiss. Right now, it was just you two. Sebastian and Y/N. Just two people trying to understand each other's emotions and feelings.

You're the first one to pull away. You look up at him with fond eyes. "Thank you for telling me."

He nods in understanding. "I'm sorry."

You shake your head, smiling as you watch a pout form on his lips. Unable to control yourself, you place a chaste kiss on his lips, giggling as the corners of his lips quirk up to a subtle smile.

"You're right. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't trust you." He mumbles, eyes trained on you.

"It's okay. I understand why you're so upset but the Professors reassured that things will be safe this time." You smile, rubbing your thumbs softly against his cheeks. "You've seen me take down a grown ass troll, I'm sure I can take whatever's waiting for me in the tournament."

He chuckles at your joking tone before nodding and pulling you into a hug. He pulls you tight against him, basking in your presence.

"Just be careful." He whispers against your hair. Your arms tighten around him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

After that drama shit, this mans whole ass is your cheer team

Imelda thinks its annoying but let the man be

He's there every step of the way and you always found comfort in knowing that he was there supporting you

When you win the Triwizard cup, he's all over you.

good luck

just sebastian being proud of his lover <3

Ominis Gaunt

MANS TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM PUTTING YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE

he was already so adamant on not letting you join

but sebastian was your bro and you really wanted to join so you two teamed up to slip your name in

surprise surprise, ominis was not happy

The moment the headmaster called out your name, Ominis walked out of the hall

it certainly got looks from your friends and housemates but you only willed yourself to stand up and walk to where the rest of the champions were staying

a bad feeling was stirring in your gut as you stood beside the other participants

After the headmaster had declared a feast to celebrate the announcement of the champions, you immediately went to Sebastian who met you with a guilty look on his face

"Go to him." Sebastian smiles, patting you arm. He mentioned to you that Ominis barely acknowledged him when he tried to convince the young Gaunt to be happy for you being chosen.

You immediately go towards where you'll expect him to be

When you go inside the undercroft, Ominis immediately sets off

"Some gall you have to show up here." Ominis could be very well seething at you from his spot by one of the pillars. He has his hands crossed over his chest, wand on one of his hands as he leans back against the rough surface.

You nod in understanding as you stand in front of him, hands wringing each other out in nervousness.

"Listen, Ominis—"

"No, you listen here." He removes himself from the pillar and walks toward you in long strides by the guide of his wand. You stumble back in surprise as he stops in front of you. "You and Sebastian are absolute fucking idiots. The Triwizard Tournament isn't something that the two of you could play around with. It isn't a fucking playground, Y/N."

Your heart stings at the harshness of his words.

"W-we're not playing around, Ominis. You know me, I can do this—" You try to reason with him but he only scoffs at your face.

"Really? 'Cause it sure doesn't look like it when you both were sniggering beside me. You think I wouldn't notice?" His voice had become emotionless and harsh to the point that you couldn't even recognize the man before you. You feel a lump in your throat, trying your best to keep it down as you feel your emotions slowly affecting your mind. "I'm very well aware of what you can do but that's not what this is about. For once, can you both take this fucking seriously?"

You feel your heart ache once more.

"We knew you wouldn't agree to it. What were we supposed to do?" You try to overpower his voice but his domineering aura only weakened your resolve. Damn you for having too much of a soft spot for Ominis.

"Right. Cause I know my thoughts matter least to Sebastian." He responds, bitterly. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion at the sudden mention of your best friend.

"I was the one who wanted to join— Why are you bringing Sebastian into this?" You question his sudden hostility towards the Sallow boy. The brunette hadn't even done anything but support you in your decision to enter. Well, he did distract Ominis so that you could put your name in but he didn't do anything worthy to be put in a bad light by Ominis.

"You sure? Cause it looks like this was a shared decision between the two of you. Encouraged you well, I assume?" Ominis has a snarky tone in his voice that a left a bad taste on your tongue. You couldn't allow this.

"Ominis, Sebastian is my best friend—"

"I'm your best friend too!" His voice suddenly raised causing you to flinch. He pants in anger before looking away in shame. "I at least expected that you would've thought over it but the way you tried to sneak behind me to put your name in the goblet just doesn't hit right with me, Y/N."

You fall silent at his confession. You were scared of his reaction if you told him that you really wanted to join. Out of the two, Ominis was the one you desired hearing validation from. You suppose it's because of your crush on him for the past few months but the young Gaunt was always an exceptional wizard. You were amazed by his adaptability in sensing his surroundings through magic as well as his overall, magical prowess. You hoped that Ominis would at least understand you by now.

"I'm sorry. I didn't take your feelings to account, I—" You cut yourself off as a sob threatened to leave your mouth. Tears had began pouring down your face and you had to cover your mouth so that Ominis wouldn't suspect thing.

You clearly had bad judgement.

"Oh, darling." He whispers as he walks up to you and embraces you in his arms. This time, you couldn't help the hiccups and sobs escaping your mouth as you pull him close. Ominis caresses your head with soft pets while he whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

"I-I didn't mean to—"

"Shh. No, it's okay." He mumbles as he feels for your face, softly wiping it with his sleeve. He smiles as he gently sees you with his touch, his thumb rubbing your cheeks then your nose then eyes then your lips.

You blush at the sudden feeling and before you could ask about the sudden touch, Ominis speaks.

"I-I was worried. The Triwizard Tournament isn't exactly safe as it sounds. There are cases of badly hurt students or even some that resulted in death. The worse part is that outside help isn't allowed at all and I'm scared that you'll get hurt and no one's there to help you." He whispers as his thumb moves back to rub softly against your cheek. He takes a moment to lick his lips in contemplation. "I'm sorry. I was being an asshole. You're dear to me, Y/N. More than Sebastian. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

Your cheeks heat at the insinuation of his words. You stare at his face riddled with worry and concern. You're suddenly overcome with the urge to kiss him for his concern for your well-being. You admit, you had both gone over this the wrong way but you now know that his anger was for the right reasons. So you let yourself be guided by your heart.

Unable to help yourself, you grab his robes and lift yourself on your toes to press a fast kiss on his lips. The blonde stutters at the sudden feeling of your lips against his, not able to process it properly with how fast you pulled away. His cheeks heat up to a rosy tint. You smile at his flustered expression.

"Do it again." He whispers, leaning down towards you. You giggle as he tries to find your lips. Deciding to let the poor boy have what he wants, you pull him down to your lips to meet his in a sweet kiss.

The young Gaunt smiles as he pulls you close by your waist. It's soft, sweet, and gentle; A perfect exchange of your unspoken feelings for one another. You pull away softly, leaning your forehead against his.

"I'm sorry that I had carelessly ignored what you felt. I was scared that you'd be disappointed in me but I really want to do this, Ominis." You explain as you cup his cheeks, placing yet another peck on his lips. He smiles softly at the affection. "I'll be careful. I trust the headmasters to keep us safe. You know they will."

Ominis sighs before pulling you into a hug. You wrap your arms around him, feeling his tight grip around you. He lets out a shaky breath on his position on your neck.

"You have to come back to me." He mumbles quietly, basking in your presence. You would almost miss it but how could you when your undivided attention was always focused on this man.

You smile, feeling your heart warm up at the thought of coming back in his arms.

"I will."

mans was not as loud as sebastian but he was always there to watch you

always has sebastian communicating to him about what happened to you and stuff

just an overall worried bf that continues to support you

after you won the triwizard tournament, he was all smiley smiley and telling you hes so proud of you and that youre the best and that ofc you would win cause he never doubted your abilities (just worried youd get hurt)

overall hes the best and just concerned abt your well being

A/N: TADAH ITS DONE !!! they were both a bit of an asshole but its bc they care about u 🥺🥺🥺 anys lmk your thoughts hehe

#arthenaa #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy x reader #sebastian sallow x reader #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis gaunt fluff #ominis gaunt angst #sebastian sallow angst #hogwarts legacy angst

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