#the insensitivity sometimes is incredible. as in *unbelievable*

[helianskies]

ive said it before and i'll say it again. certain military uniforms are not 'cute' or 'sexy' and should not be ascribed such compliments, when their legacy is colonial, fascist, and quite simply brutal. get that shit out of here.

[mirrorforevers]

the wrong side of the bed • damon albarn/reader

smut with feelings, i guess. sorry if is this is too long – this prompt excited me too much. i hope you guys like daft punk - though this is not a songfic, but you’ll get why - and i promise i’ll write something not involving sadness and alcohol someday. this is unbeta’ed, and english is not my first language, so have mercy

thank you so much for the music teacher prompt, anon! hope you enjoy it x also, just in case you haven’t read my graham/reader fic yet, here it is too.

tw: unprotected drunk sex

word count: 4.477

Music has been a very important escape mechanism for you recently. Your job has been hellish, and getting your degree has also been a chore - in the midst of so many deadlines and professional disappointments what has been a light for you is Damon Albarn, your newly divorced music teacher who is old enough to be your dad.

You detail these little “buts” as a mantra whenever the subject is him, whether in internal monologues or when you talk about him with your close friends. You never really believed in relationships between two people of very different ages, and you felt like you needed to remember those details whenever you could to keep that completely carefree crush from becoming something you couldn't control.

You started taking classes with him every Saturday after you were cast on your city’s production of a musical. You knew it was a very small step for a career in the industry, but it was very significant for you. You were exhausted from any activity that involved learning given how tired you were from college, but learning music with Damon was definitely something that you didn't even place in the same mental category. It was with him that you vented about how your week was, how you missed your parents who lived absurdly far away from you, it was with him that you shared the small victories of the day-to-day that were too insignificant even to share with your longtime friends. Which is funny, since this symbolic relationship was built in a matter of 2 months. Damon, in the beginning, was very reserved and “gray”, and it was amazing how in a matter of such a short time he shown himself to be someone so energetic, observant and empathetic; although a little bit of a control freak sometimes. When the wild waves of life seemed to take you everywhere at the same time and left you lost, despite so little time in your life, Damon became a constant.

And it worries you.

What are you going to do when the money to pay for his classes runs out? Certainly, although significant, what you had seemed to be was, above all, a friendship of convenience. You were very different people, with very different aspirations, and especially at very different points in life. As much as you liked each other *as friends* and considered yourselves people you wanted close by, Damon had a well-lived life to sustain. He would not have time much less willpower to listen to your complaints and insecurities in a context that did not involve an exchange relationship. At least, that's what you thought.

Saturday was also one of the two days you could wake up late, so in addition to having a rare time for your leisure, you were able to rest at least a little more than normal. That particular morning, you noticed that there were two missed calls from Maggie on your cell phone. Maggie was one of the producers of the musical. She used to bring you very decisive and very good news. If she called you, you did whatever it took to answer her right away. An unbelievable wave of anxiety takes over you. “Hello, Mags, you called?” You say, excited, but very nervous. Dealing with people who have your dreams constantly in their hands is somewhat stressful. You bite your nails.

“Hey, Y/N, yes. Um. You okay?”

“Yeah, thanks for asking. What happened?” You notice that Maggie's tone is different. The funny thing is that everyone is always so apathetic in the artistic world, and Maggie was the only person you knew so far that showed any kind emotion.

“So… you were dropped.”

Ah.

“I’m-I’m sorry?”

“You… were dropped. We made some changes here and there and you won’t be on our show anymore. If anything changes again, we’ll call. I promise.”

“Thank you. Bye.”

“Good luck, kid.”

Um.

Your stomach drops, and for a moment you feel like you've been punched. Maybe you've been wrong all along.

My God. My God. My God.

You feel like your entire world has collapsed around you. There aren't even reasons for you to keep going to class. All that effort and money spent... are now in the trash.

Artists spend a lot of time investing in themselves. You always have to become better. Faster. Learn techniques. Reinvent yourself. Stay beautiful. And you don't believe that in your first real experience in this world... that happened. Most likely a friend of the director took your place.

My God.

You swallow the tears, after all, you told everyone you knew that you knew how this world worked and you wouldn't be shaken if something like this happened. No one is watching you right now - but you still feel that you would disappoint them if you cried.

But you couldn’t smile anymore. Nothing could take away your expression of shock and uncertainty.

Not even funny posts on Reddit. Not even funny memes sent by your friends in the morning.

Nor the message from Damon confirming the class of the day.

I won't be able to go today ☹, you type, and you erase it.

Hey, I got dropped from the musical. you type, and you erase it.

How are you doing? Definitely not.

I’ll be there! 😅 You hit send.

Hope we finally figure out that bloody solo, he replies.

You do not answer.

You change your clothes, without your motivational playlist playing in the background this time. The beginning of a great plan going on in your life was no longer there. You didn't even pick up your headphones and the subway ride was completely silent, except for the ambient sound.

You arrive at school, and Damon welcomes you with the usual tight hug, and wide smile. You give a yellow smile in response, and he immediately realizes that something is out of place. “Is everything okay?” His expression quickly changes to one of concern. Your stomach drops even lower. Maybe it hit the ground by now.

“I…”

You don't want it to end. Your dream ended, but not this, too. This cannot end. “Can we try another song today? One not from the musical?” You ask, exasperated.

“Uh… I mean-”

“Please?”

"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?" He laughs nervously. “But... the musical’s why you’re here. I’m confused--”

“I know, but pretty please?” You insist, cringing by now to keep from crying.

“Um. Sure – but did something happen? Tell me. I’m-I’m here to help.”

“I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Please.” You feel your voice weaken more and more. You don’t wanna cry, though your eyes are already burning. “Please, Damon.”

“Right. Okay.” He says, raising his hands in defeat. He starts collecting his material.

“What are you doing?”

“No class today. Something clearly happened and we need to talk it out.”

“I-I got sacked. But there’s no need to…”

“I got it. C’mon. I’m not a monster, I won’t charge you for talking it out. All we’ve worked for… fucking cunts.” There’s the visceral side of him. “You gotta tell me how it happened.”

“Okay.”

He only leaves your two chairs in place.

After you two sit, he starts. “This happens quite a lot in this world. And every student reacts the same.” Though this sounds a little too insensitive, you imagine it’s the truth, and his tone does the job of conveying his compassion. “Did they call you? Or did you find out through somewhere else, like Patti LuPone?”

“Huh. At least they called me. They just straight up told me I’m no longer in the cast.” You say, totally not comforted by that. But it would be even worse if you found out by other means. “I don’t know what to do now.”

“Don’t let your spirit be broken by that – you’re really talented, and I don’t like paying compliments. You know that.”

“Talent is not enough sometimes. That’s also something you’ve said to me before.”

He goes silent, and you start apologizing in the same instant.

“No, no, you didn’t hurt my feelings.” He interrupts you. “That’s true. But you’re really young, I shouldn’t have said that to you. Shit like that happens all the time. We learn a lot from it and you have your entire life ahead of you. That was… limited of me.”

“I know I’m almost getting my degree, and there’s other things for me to do… but fuck. I-- I really wanted that. You know how much.”

“I do. I also know exactly how you’re feeling now. We’re always so excited when this kind of thing happens. We plan our entire lives based on that one fragile and uncertain plan, and then boom, it’s gone. We always count on the fact that we’ll eventually have to decide between our career and something else when the choice comes, but what do we do when it doesn’t come? I know how that feels. Also--”

He grabs his guitar. You roll your eyes. “Don’t tell me you have a song for that.”

“I don’t.” he answers. “But I do have a story to tell you.”

For the next two hours, he tells you all about a very ambitious audiovisual plan that he tried to engage in his early 30s. Among countless questions and answers, Damon Albarn showed you through his history how very determined he really was. He goes into the most minute details about the ideas he had for a film and several concept albums for a virtual band that, in your opinion, sounds like something very innovative and, at the same time, incredibly palatable to the mainstream. You thought that the band he was part of when he was even younger was already very wronged because, from what you heard from the demos, they were really incredible, but the fact that such a project didn't go ahead ... just proved to you more and more that talent sometimes really wasn’t enough. Just when you thought you couldn't admire that man more.

“So, believe me when I say I know how that feels.” Goddamn. He looks at his clock, and almost jumps at how the time flied. “Bloody hell, I have another student in like, 5 minutes.”

“God, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This is a tale very few people know about. I’m glad I shared it with you.”

“…That had potential. Don’t give up on it.”

“Don’t give up on your plans either. I really mean it when I say you’re talented as fuck.”

You couldn’t help but smile through the dried tears and puffy eyes. You say your rushed goodbyes. But before can you leave the room, he holds your arm. “Wait. I know it’s hard, but don’t spend the rest of the day thinking about it. Do you want to do something tonight?”

“Uhhh—what you have in mind?” You can’t believe your ears.

“I don’t know. Do you drink?”

“More than I should.”

“Perfect. So I know a place we can go. Any preference of hours?”

“After 7 pm, I guess?”

“Works for me. I’ll send you the address soon then.” He says. You stand still, frozen, still processing what just happened. He’s blinking as if he just told you how’s the weather outside. “Now you can go.”

“O-kay. See you in a few hours then, Damon.”

“See you in a few hours, Y/N.”

You tried to hide your excitement, in vain. You smiled like an idiot.

This was one of the scenarios of your daydreams when you were walking around, talking quietly to yourself. Damon Albarn, your newly divorced music teacher who is old enough to be your father, just asked you out. You don't care if it was pity. After such disappointment, you allow yourself to create a little more of that stupid, inconsequential hope that your life would take an exciting turn for the first time.

He sends you the address a few hours after your class/conversation, when you were starting to get ready to meet him. It was a pub that you already knew well, and had visited with some friends in the past. You choose a dress that has become your “uniform” recently, for valuing your body type well and for translating your style in a way that is both stylish and very comfortable. When you finish getting ready, you take a deep breath. There is a world of difference between what you wanted to happen and what you think will happen. But you do not care.

The tragic call you received in the morning barely crosses your mind on your way to the pub.

Upon arriving, you find Damon - always so punctual - sitting in the corner of the lounge fiddling with his cell phone while he takes a few sips of a drink that you have no idea what it is made of. You never took him for a complex drink guy. He is really full of surprises. You feel slightly self-conscious out of a sudden, stomach churning in anticipation. He raises his eyes, and his gaze meets yours. His usual welcoming smile makes all your worries go away. You couldn’t help but smile wide too.

“Hello there. A stark contrast to this morning’s Y/N.” He notes, looking you up and down after you two share a tight hug, that smile still there.

“My plan tonight is to forget everything that happened before we talked, okay? Just let me forget about the call!” You answer, playfully, trying to pretend you weren't in the least ... affected ... by the way he received you.

And the time you spend together goes as usual. It’s amazing how there’s no space for awkward silences between you two. To one thing you tell him, he brings you three more things to tell, and vice-versa. You two just… click. You make each other laugh, and even if things don’t go the way you daydream about, which is totally okay, given that he’s twice your age and you’re not sure if you can handle the implications that age difference has, you’re glad to call him a good friend. He’s amazing, and you’re having a great time with him.

By your fourth beer and his fifth fancy drink, your conversation enters a territory that hasn’t been truly explored by you two yet. His romantic past. You only knew he was divorced because he mentioned it very vaguely one day, nothing else. You didn’t know why, who was her, or when. But apparently, he was about to tell you.

“We were both really… young… and didn’t have a clue of what we were doing with our lives. She was a musician too, Justine. Not anymore.”

“Because of what happened between you two?” You ask, the beers gradually taking the indiscretion filters out of you.

“Maybe. I don’t know. She seemed tired of everything. She wanted a life I’m not sure I would be able to live. I also pressured her a lot, I tried to create a version of her that somehow fitted all my expectations and, long story short, we weren’t right for each other. But I still think she’s incredible. I still admire her a lot. Not sure how she feels about me though.”

“Are you still in love with her?”

“Oh, no. There’s a big difference in admiring someone and being in love with them, kid.”

After that sentence of his, for the first time that night, an uncomfortable silence hangs between you - Instant Crush, by Daft Punk, almost ironically, starts playing on the pub's speakers. You feel like you're in a movie.

You're still a kid, aren't you?

“Definitely.” You finally answer him, finishing 70% of the bottle in a few gulps. You become a bit more lightheaded after that, and your eyes start to struggle to focus. You try to hide how slurred your voice wants to sound. “I confess I still don’t know how to really differentiate between the two.”

“Oh yeah?” His wistful tone gives place to one of amusement. “You never told me about your exes. Feel free to.”

“This is not about them.”

He turns to you, after a one-sided staring competition with his own cup. His voice is calm, and somehow even deeper, when he asks you: “Then who is this about?”

You gulp. The cramped space you were sitting on somehow feels even smaller. And hotter. You feel drops of sweat sliding on your belly. You’re sitting by his side, not in front of him, and that interaction feels almost… primal. You two are trapped by a huge table in a corner very few people can see.

“I think I need to go to the loo.”

He lets you, and you feel his eyes following you to the restroom.

My God. My God. My God.

You take a much longer time to do everything than you really need while reflecting on the dialogue you just had. You feel the ground is starting to spin, and the desire to sleep on literally any place grow. You’re drunk. And confused. And anxious.

You spend some good minutes staring at your own face in the mirror before you return to your table. He’s still in the moment, judging by the contemplative look on his face. This is the point of no return.

This is no movie – this is a fucking RPG.

“It was full,” you justify.

“Yeah, it’s always pretty crowded in there.”

That goddamn awkward silence again. You try to talk at the same time, but he wins.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Yeah.” You clear your throat. “It’s… about a guy. He’s a…current… thing. Not from the past.”

“Right.” His tone is serious, more teacher-like than he has even acted while actually teaching you.

“I met him through an ad. I was looking for music teachers in my area and I found him. He had a fair price.” He was now smiling in disbelief, shaking his head. You’re both tipsy and you don’t care if your words are slurred anymore.

“And?”

“I have classes with him every Saturday. It’s the event of the bloody week for me. I can’t believe I’m saying that now because at first he seemed quite intimidating and not open to any meaningful interaction. Like, all frowns and monosyllabic answers and all.” You steal his drink, and he’s not even bothered. “We talk a lot, and even though we talk every day I somehow always thought he didn’t give a fuck about me when we were out of class. That he only saw me as a student, not as a friend, you know? I think about that chap every single day too. He’s handsome--like. Fuck. And he pays attention to everything I say. He’s always so nice to me, he makes me feel welcome. A part of… something.” You take a few more sips, and he gently takes the drink out of your hand, mouthing an ‘enough’. “He’s old enough to be my dad and I feel guilty for thinking of him that way. He invited me for drinks when my world fell so I could get my mind out of the shambles my life’s in and I almost died because I’m madly in love with him for a while now, but I don’t want to ruin everything. I don’t know what to do now. People shouldn’t start things thinking of how they’re going to end, but, you know?”

“They should, though. He’s indeed too old for you. And your life isn’t in shambles.”

“But…”

“Everything sounds pretty lovely in theory, but, he’s probably thinking that he’s going to slow you down in a way. You’ve got too much life to live. He’s probably really tired of everything he’s already lived.”

“But I love him. He makes me laugh! I don’t wanna have children.” You whine.

He muffles a laugh. “It’s not that-“

”Please take me home tonight.” You plead; your tone more serious now. “I know what I’m doing, I know where I am. Just please take me home.”

“Y/N…”

“Please, Damon. If you don’t feel the same then fine, call me an Uber and I’ll get over it.”

That triggers something in him, apparently, and he kisses you deeply and intensely. His hands caress your back and the whole kiss, though a little disjointed because of the state you’re both in, is full of affection and love. His lips taste of strawberry vodka, and your mind is spinning.

When your lips part, you stare at each other for a while, thousands upon thousands of thoughts per second, unsaid. “Are you sure you wanna come with me?” He asks, kissing your hand.

“Yes. I am.”

-

After he fumbles with his keys, you’re finally in his apartment – it’s surprisingly nice and tidy. Judging by how carefree he’s with his looks, you imagined that characteristic would overflow to other aspects of his life.

From the Uber drive home to his door, his hand never left yours.

He locks the door, and you stand staring intently at each other, sizing each other up like men before a fight. This time, you start the kiss, with a little less hurry than before. But the desire is still burning hot on both of you.

“Do you have any idea of what you’re doing to me?”, he murmurs, discarding his jacket while he does his best to not break the kiss. You take this as a signal to start taking off your clothes too, starting by kicking off your shoes. It has become a choreography of sorts - his hands grasp your buttocks and pulls you closer after you’re done with them, drawing a gasp from you.

“I wanted you for so long.” You reply, your hands exploring his body below the fine fabric of his shirt. You motion to take it away from him, and he lets you, completely entranced by how red your lips look from everything it went through. He guides you to his sofa, quickly adjusting it so it’s comfortable enough and serves as a bed for both of you.

He lies down first, eagerly waiting for you to stay on top of him. You finally do, and you feel like a goddess from the way he looks at your body. You take off your dress, and now you’re almost fully exposed to him. You have no bra on, and his hands immediately travel to your breasts, fingers running tantalizingly over your nipples to get them stiff and erect before he pinches them between his fingers, smiling at the whimper his actions elicit. You start bucking your hips on the rough fabric of his trousers, and you feel him harden below you. “God, you’re… something else.” he whispers, and you respond with another whimper, biting back a full on moan when your clit hits the perfect spot. You separate your legs a little further so you can feel him better, drawing a groan from him. He takes this a signal to take his jeans off, eyes not leaving your hips.

Now that a distance of an entire layer is shortened between you, the contact is even more intimate, and the bulge of his cock straining against his underwear is driving you mad. You’re aching for him. He brushes against you and your moan is higher than you expected, and you immediately cover your mouth in order not to wake up his neighbors. As he feels the wet heat of you around his painfully hard cock, he takes your hand out of your lips, grip then tightening on your hips as he pushes you down right on to him. Your moan is even louder. “Let them hear.”

“Fuck-Damon-I’m getting so close--” As if you just gave him a command, his hands now grab the flesh of your inner thighs, massaging them further and further up until he reaches the center of your arousal, and the sound you make when he pulls your panties to the side and runs his finger between your folds while still grinding against you is somewhere between a whine and a whimper. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he says, voice rough from how excruciatingly aroused he is. “Come for me, baby.” Your clit was more exposed now, pressed more tightly against him and you whine in relief when your orgasm finally floods through your body.  

Before you could fully recover, he finally frees himself from his underwear and, with your help, effortlessly aligns himself with your (quite ready) entrance. You bury your head in his neck the moment he enters you in one swift motion and your moans are almost like cries by now - the overstimulation is driving you insane. You take his face on your hands and give him a passionate kiss while he gradually picks up a merciless pace inside of you, the more heated the kiss becomes the more shamelessly you ride his cock. “Shit,” he mutters, massaging your breasts in an almost desperate way. It’s too much - you’re almost becoming one.

You could tell by how frantically he fucked you now that he wasn’t going to last much longer. His thrusts were becoming irregular and you were so close once again. His head falls forward, buried in between your neck and shoulder - his cock twitches inside of you and his movements become staccato, his mouth curving into a beautiful ‘o’ shape as he comes inside of you. His movements stop before you could reach your second one, but the entire situation you were on was so arousing to you that just by touching yourself while still feeling him inside was enough. Not letting you alone in this, one of his hands focus on one of your nipples while the other one is below yours, providing pressure above your clit. And like that, you come undone a second time, head above his shoulders.

For a few minutes, your panting was the only thing that could be heard inside of the apartment.

“Thank you. You were amazing. ’s been quite a long time.” He notes with a tender kiss on your forehead. After a while, and with much reluctance, he slides out of you, and gets up to fetch a warm, wet cloth and carefully clean you both, finally collapsing next to you with a groan.

“It was everything I expected.” You confess, smiling.

“Did you… think about me like that when you…?”

“Of course. But let’s save this talk for another Saturday.”

[lady-star-strings]

About Dream’s Tweets...

To begin with, I’m demisexual and have been part of the community for years - I think I have pretty good credence to speak on this matter. I try not to throw my two cents into situations like this because I can’t stand the ignorant responses of the internet anymore at my age - DeviantArt Dark Ages vet right here - but sometimes I just have to. Whether you agree or not, I could honestly care less, but I would appreciate it if you read everything and gave it some thought before responding, be it positive or negative. With that said, let’s dive in...

At this point, if people are taking the shipping/fanservice jokes and banter between the Dream Team and other creators surrounding them seriously, I don't know what to tell them or really even say, honestly. They've all stated they're not looking to start relationships with each other - multiple times and on-stream/Twitter, might I add, because people keep donating and asking/demanding an answer to both that and about their sexualities - and that it's just messing around with friends. (If we want to talk about making people uncomfortable and being offensive in that regard, don’t you worry because I've got opinions on that too.) Bottom line is, you can't get mad at them for the fan-service now when you supported it before, especially when nothing has changed and they’ve been transparent about how everything actually is.

I understand that some may feel it’s an insensitive and inappropriate thing to do in some regards, and that's perfectly valid, but please don't go mobbing through the town with pitchforks over literal jokes between friends. Keep in mind, they’ve made it clear that’s all it was before people starting jumping down their throats, and still there are groups using their sexuality to attack them over it because "YoU'rE nOt MlM sO yOu CaN't MaKe ThOsE jOkEs, YoU'rE hOmOpHoBiC!!!!!" They're even openly attacking lesbians and bisexuals - whether they agree with them or not - because they're not gay and that somehow renders their words “invalid.” You can't accuse them of being ignorant for messing around as friends because it entertains the fans, and then turn around to attack literally the entire rest of the community for offering their opinions because they aren't valid enough for you in the argument to count - that makes you ignorant. You also can’t claim to be of the opinion that everyone’s sexuality is their own business, but then demand for them not to be ambiguous about it when it pleases you. Honestly, even thinking about people doing that is so incredibly hypocritical that it gives me whiplash.

I completely understand not everyone is a fan of this behavior, but to accuse them of queerbaiting, being homophobic and faking allyship over it all right now is just ridiculous and borderline disgusting to me. They've made it clear they're not romantically interested in one another countless times and that it's just fun between friends because they're super close - they aren't playing the "Am I, or am I not?" game with anyone for gain so no, they're not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when it’s not explicitly said at any point whether someone is or isn’t LGBTQIA+ so they can play both the community and conservative side by putting them in ambiguous situations that can lean one way or the other for gain, whether it be monetary or otherwise. Not to mention, if they were really as “homophobic” and “falsely allied” as everyone thinks, why would other LGBTQIA+ creators such as Antfrost, Eret, Scott Major, etc. not only support them, but also consider them friends? Again, I get the offense and hurt people might have taken from this behavior, but your opinions and feelings are ultimately not universal so while they are all valid, that doesn't make them right and the final say on the matter. I don’t mean this to say you’re wrong or inferior in the argument, just that you can’t demand others to see your point of view and abide by it without granting them the same respect. The road goes both ways kiddos, I’m sorry. 

Side note, there's no one to blame but the fans themselves for the jokes and whatnot to have continued on this long because they not only supported it, but also actively encouraged it. It’s been taken so seriously that Dream has outright stated on a stream - and now on Twitter - that he and George aren't together and more than likely never will be because they're honest to goodness just really good friends screwing around. Now if you think you're uncomfortable as part of the community, how do you think they feel being accused every five minutes of being against it because they won’t openly state their sexuality? Not to mention, they can't ever talk about actual relationships or joke about other ships because people will literally send death threats to whoever the other party is because they're "rUiNiNg ThE sHiP" at this point - need I remind you of the Septiplier fiasco? It’s alright if it’s a persona or a personality, but for the love of all things holy, please stop treating people like Barbie dolls that you’re trying to make kiss. They gave us the go-ahead to ship them because it makes us happy and allows us to be creative with the concept - don’t ruin it by trying to force them to play the parts you’ve constructed in your head and then get pissy because they won’t.

Also, it is unbelievably messed up for you to donate money to ask their sexuality and/or for them to tell each other that they love them - which then basically makes it a demand because if they ignore it they get blasted for not responding and “taking their money.” For example, Dream will say he loves any of his friends without issue because he does - just not in the way everyone is assuming or wants - and that's just the type of person he is, but George doesn't like to express it that way and that's okay. He shows his love in other ways that we don't always need to know about or see to make it real, just as it is with anyone else in the world. I don’t know how so many people miss it, but when he gets a donation to tell Dream - or anyone for that matter - he loves him on stream, you can easily tell how uncomfortable it makes him - and yes Dream presses/teases him about it sometimes, but he still drops it and doesn't flame him for it for eternity. Those that donate and chat, on the other hand, will not let it go when he doesn’t say it and continue to pour donations in begging him to say it when he’s already made it clear he won’t. You honestly shouldn't be bribing them to say or do anything through donation because that's beyond messed up and manipulative, especially where these matters are concerned.

And even if they weren't straight - which used to be the case and may have changed by this time, we can’t determine such things nor should we try to - or were in a relationship with each other, it isn't any of your goddamn business to know - no way, no how. What they do offline and out of the public eye isn't anyone's business but their own and people need to respect that, not try to force it out of them or play detective to dox that information for the attention. I mean, if you want a good reason as to why Dream hasn't done a face reveal yet, this is absolutely number one on the list because there will be little to no form of privacy for him after he does and he isn't ready to lose that just yet. I certainly can’t blame him for that considering all that’s been happening to him and his friends as of late, and neither can multiple other creators who hold the same beliefs and fears - ie. CorpseHusband, H20Delirious, Ohmwrecker. No one should have to tip-toe on eggshells in their personal life because fans online don't understand boundaries, that's just cruel and unfair after providing the content and comfort that they do without asking anything but support in return.

At the end of the day, I truly just don't understand how people can join in and support the jokes that they've made clear are purely just messing around, but then turn around and crucify them for the exact same thing later down the road. How can you practically harass them about their sexuality and relationship status through providing monetary means, then go on a witch hunt because they’ve decided to be more private with that information in the present? You can't play both sides and then expect to somehow be right or justified in the situation whichever way the tide turns because, at that point, the only wrong one is you. I completely agree that they need to watch their step with what they say and do sometimes - just as everyone with a strong platform does - but only more so now because people will create a problem the second they do anything that could spin into them being horrible people with too much power.

They’re all still incredibly fresh and new to the realm of social media popularity all things considered, and they reached said popularity startlingly fast so it can’t be easy to adjust to all the attention on everything you say and do. With that said, they’re doing remarkably well so far and I have faith that they’re going to continue to learn and grow in this arena given the time. They might mess up and make mistakes - already have, in fact - but that’s part of the gig and you can’t always please or satisfy everyone, so the best you can do is acknowledge your faults and move forward. You can’t demand someone’s head on a pike when they’ve made an effort to right things and it wasn’t good enough for everyone, it’s just not a fair standard to hold anyone to. In that same vein, you also can’t demand whatever you want out of them with the excuse that they owe it to you as a fan - you’re not a fan in any way, shape or form when you play that card, and you need to either shape up or ship out if you're doing that.

If you don't support it and/or don't like it, just don't follow or watch them anymore, it’s truly as simple as that. You can't continue to watch and support them as a “fan” while also touting how ignorant and horrible they are as detractors, that's just not how it works - pick one or the other and stop attacking them and those that don’t agree with you. They’re only on year one of their careers and the amount of people trying to “cancel” and tear them down over things that really aren't issues already is ridiculous, you aren't the righteous keyboard warriors you think you are and it's things like this that are ruining the internet for everyone, not just you.

That’s all I have to say on the matter and will continue to say going forward - sorry if you came here looking for my usual nonsense, but I really felt this needed to be said and addressed. I usually try not to do these sort of rants, however, this is a serious matter and a discussion that we as a community have been needing to have for a while, so now’s as good a time as any.

So, with my peace being given and my two cents thoroughly tossed, why don’t we focus on the bigger issues with YouTube such as their blatant ignorance of pedophilia and copyright abuse? Those seem like a much bigger problems to address at this point in time since that effects creators and fans as a whole - both in the present and the future - don’t you think?

[kitkatopinions]

I’m probably over thinking/over complicating things but Ironwood and Penny have been really bothering me. It because prior to the moment that destroyed Penny’s arc the show and Ruby were really pushing that Penny not matter her body was human and that’s a very positive I like that especially when it comes to characters of Penny’s nature.

So my problem kicks in when I think of Ironwood. Namely this part in his song:

“What if it's true as they say

That I don't have a heart

That I'm more a machine than a man?”

Like wtf. I mean I “get it” especially with that dumbass line of Winter. But when it’s talked about Ironwood it was always in reference to the fact that his body is half robotic and there for we are meant to see the correlation between his body and his character.?

Put next to Penny’s message that really bothers me. Even more so since Penny gets a “reward” of becoming human, but the writers push that Ironwood sacrificing his arm to stop Watts and replacing it (a medical decision that could be debated given that he wanted to be up and able immediately to handle things not to mention that fact that nerves and muscle are severely fucked up) with a new (uncharacteristically uncovered) prosthetic means that he’s moving away from humanity. This thought has been driving nuts for a week.

I don’t think you’re overthinking at all. The writers have been pretty blatant about what they think of disabled people.

On the topic of James, 1. They wrote their triple amputee character to be coded as losing his humanity. This is suspect from the get go, but writers imo need to be especially careful and sensitive when they display things like villains with prosthetics. CRWBY is not careful and sensitive. 2. They specifically connected the loss of his limb to the loss of his humanity outside of the show, and as you said, his new prosthetic is uncharacteristically uncovered as well, and there were some pointed shots showcasing his arm and emphasizing it before showing Ironwood doing something wrong as well as a shot that particularly bothered me of them having James fall to Winter when his aura broke and then them immediately flashing to a fallen, broken robotic soldier. Tying the loss of someone’s humanity to them losing a limb / gaining a prosthetic in any way is wrong imo. There are better ways to display someone’s loss of humanity than villainizing the loss of his arm, and I don’t care what justifications people have for ‘they just meant to say that he was too impatient to-’ Idc. Tying the loss of humanity to the gaining of a prosthetic is wrong. 3. They never once treated Ironwood’s clear PTSD, history of mental health problems, and trauma with any sympathy, instead spending their time ragging on him for not wanting to feel his pain anymore and condemning him for... Trying to control his emotions. 4. CRWBY also gave him a semblance and explained how it worked by saying he hyper focused, talking about how James’ passive semblance that he can’t control forces him to focus on one single goal and fixate. I’m not disabled, but I do hyper fixate. It’s not something I can control, and to see it used as a justification for evil (in one of my favorite characters in the series who reminded me of my father lol) and being treated as something bad... It doesn’t feel good. I can’t imagine how other people must feel who are much more affected by this than I am. 5. As you say, the writers go out of their way to reference his metal body as being more ‘machine than man’ and make lines about him being heartless. And yeah, I get that he’s an allegory for the ‘Tin Man’ from Wizard of Oz but ffs the Tin Man had always had a heart and I honestly thought that was what they were going for in V3 with Qrow commenting that sometimes he thought James didn’t have a heart and the audience seeing Ironwood’s actions as questionable, only for the entire show to tell us repeatedly that he actually is a caring and good person who’s willing to destroy all the forces he was proud to show off if it means saving lives and was actually pretty freaking blameless in the Fall of Beacon and was super kind to the kids and when the chips were down, Qrow and Glynda both absolutely knew without even questioning that James would never ever willingly hurt the world or fully betray them and had absolutely no hand in the Beacon attack. Like, I’m sorry, but between Penny and Ironwood, season eight is the season of taking well done character allusions and throwing them out the window for the exact opposite moral done incredibly poorly. And anyway, getting off of that rant, making a ‘more machine than man’ sentiment tied around a triple amputee character is incredibly harmful and hurtful to people with disabilities and only propagates the real world stereotypes against people like James.

So, yes, their treatment of Ironwood, his mental health, and specifically his disabilities was so badly done, harmful, incredibly insensitive, and frankly, appalling that it came from grown adult writers in 2019-2021! But, as you point out, it’s not just Ironwood. And here’s where things really get bad for CRWBY. Because Ironwood alone is enough for me to say they were ableist - unintentionally or otherwise - and ought to apologize for the hurt they’ve caused their fans. But when you get into the rest of their treatment of characters with metal prosthetics or non-flesh elements to their body, it becomes a pattern.

Penny’s entire body is removed from her on threat of death, with the justification that it’s hurting her and that her body is just a machine and not part of who she is, contradicting Penny’s earlier themes of self-acceptance and validating her humanity in the body she already had. She then dies by assisted suicide in a way that feels unneeded, after having asked to be killed earlier in the narrative. So many people have talked about how destructive her story became in V8 and how it personally hurt them, especially non-binary people, trans people, autistic people, or disabled people who saw themselves in Penny or saw in her arc something that they could relate to, only to have Penny’s differences stripped away from her, having her conform to normal body standards and have her previous body type invalidated by her friends, and then they had her killed via assisted suicide in an unbelievable way, insisting as well that she never made a choice before she was a flesh-person and couldn’t feel things right. It’s all horribly done, but it’s important to remember that while Ironwood is accused of losing his humanity as he loses a third limb and gets a third prosthetic, Penny’s earlier validation is taken away and is instead only granted and she is only justified as a person when she loses all her ‘nuts and bolts’ and becomes a flesh person. And then she’s killed anyway.

Yang’s prosthetic is the least ill handled, but it is still dismissed as ‘just extra’ despite her former fairly strong arc of coming to terms with her disability and making it a part of her. She casually justifies what’s happening with Penny despite Penny not being in a position of adequate consent. Yang’s trauma and PTSD also vanished when Adam died at the end of season six and in my opinion, that situation was handled very badly.

Maria and Pietro, two other disabled characters, disappeared, left when Amity fell and were not even mentioned iirc since. Not even when Penny is awake, not even when they’re evacuating, not even when Penny is choosing to die. She never brings up her father. And Ruby’s supposed ‘mentor’ who never had an actual narrative role that couldn’t have been filled by Qrow and has had nothing to do since season six even past that is also forgotten out in the tundra and not mentioned again.

The writers go out of their way to have Winter say that because she was just following orders (a statement that contradicts her previous character imo) and pushing down her emotions, she was the real machine, whereas Penny had been human underneath her apparently easily tossed aside and destructive previous metal body.  And I don’t know if this means anything, but in that scene where she and Penny meet when Penny is dying and transferring the maiden powers to Winter, Winter is in her V7 character design, instead of wearing her assistive brace. Like I said, I don’t know if I’m reading into that, but with everything else, it feels like an iffy choice.

So yeah. In the past season CRWBY specifically cultivated a pattern of disrespect, dismissal, and villainization of any non-flesh attributes in my opinion. It seems pretty intentional and clear to me, but I’m willing to accept that maybe this was just a wildly bad uneducated mistake. Here’s the thing about that, though, after the Faunus/Racism allegory, the CRWBY writers should’ve learned their lesson and not touched on any real world topics that they weren’t willing to do the research on and treat with the sensitivity and care and respect the topics needed. Their Faunus/Racism allegory was harmful and hurtful and frankly could’ve sunk them in the water, they should’ve learned to put much more care and effort into their work or stayed the hell away from anything that could further spread the negative stereotypes surrounding real world people. But they didn’t learn their lesson and they’ve continued to push harmful narratives with no awareness or sensitivity. I don’t think you’re over-reacting at all, I think this is something that - intentionally written or otherwise - the writers should be called out on, or they’re just going to continue writing harmful narratives.

Also, I am not disabled, many of my opinions on the treatment of these characters comes from posts I’ve seen from many disabled or neurodivergent RWBY fans (or former RWBY fans,) or other people more affected by these narratives - minus the thing I said about Winter appearing without her brace when she talks to Penny, as it was something I just noticed while typing out this post. Since I’m not disabled, I’m not the best person to talk about these things, so if I got anything wrong in this, anyone more affected, please know you can let me know and I can edit and fix.

[arrancarscenarios]

Hi! can I plz get headcanons 4 how the arranca boys of ur choice would react to having a human f s/o who goes through a really traumatic event & becomes really ill because of the stress & strain on her body; she survives, but the severity of her sickness took her voice. Like it started off as just a really bad sore throat & then escalated from there. Or, the event was just so traumatic that they could no longer talk? Like ever again; or at least, not for a long, long time. Ty in advance 💛

yw honey!! I did some reactions instead of headcanons bc they’re a little faster for me to get out, but I hope it still gets the point across!

CHARLOTTE

Forone thing, he does feel a little guilty if her trauma happened whilein Hueco Mundo, or after she met him. Rather than waste time feelingtoo bad about it, though, he focuses any energy he doesn’t alreadyuse to serve his king into taking care of his S/O. He doesn’t knowwhat might be best for a human in this situation, so he starts withthings he thinks he might appreciate if he were in her position —lots of attention and affection, bringing things she likes, and beingwith her as often as possible. It’s okay that she can’t speakright now. First of all, he can do enough talking for both of them,and second, there are other ways to communicate. He knows she’sgoing to recover from it, as well she can, and no matter whathappens, he’s going to be there for her. Oh, and she gets somany throat kisses, both as if he thinks it’s going to help andalso as just one more sweet, romantic gesture.

D-ROY

Whetherthis happened before or after they met, whether she’s beenvoiceless since he’s known her or if this is new, he’s angry anddisappointed that he couldn’t keep it from happening. Protectinghis S/O is just one more thing he’s useless at. Especially if hertrauma happened before they met, this comes off as self-centered, soD-Roy does his best to swallow it down and concentrate on her. Ofcourse, he’s… at a huge loss here. He doesn’t really know whatto do to make her feel better and sometimes will get frustrated withhimself if he can’t understand what she wants or needs when heasks. Until he can comprehend how to read, the two of them will haveto communicate through gestures. Oftentimes, he just cuddles with herand purrs, in the hope that it might comfort her. He purrs toself-soothe when he’s upset or in pain, so it’s worth a shot,right?

FINDORR

Ifthere’s one thing Findorr Calius is up for, it’s a challenge. Andthis situation is… very challenging indeed. It’s difficult tospeak to her, but thankfully, he’s very intent about learning toread so that she can write out for him when she wants to talk, orabout learning sign language so she can sign to him. Either way, hespends zero time feeling bad about any of this, and more time doinghis best to understand possible solutions to make their lives easier.Sometimes he can seem distant or indifferent; however, he’s smartenough to realize that neither of them needsto be talking to have a fulfilling relationship, even if they enjoyconversing with each other. Sometimes just sitting together in thequietis enough. Estoyaquí,mi corazón,his silence whispers, estoyaquí.

GRIMMJOW

Morethan anything, it just kind of pisses him off, regardless of how orwhen whatever happened went down. How dare something or someone thinkthey can just hurtherlike that, bad enough to make her stop talking?! It makes him feelpowerless,particularly if it happened before they met, and if that’s thecase, he’s incredibly bitter about the fact that he’s never beenable to hear her voice. That said,even though he can’t help being angry, he wants to be there for herinstead of just seething about something neither of them can change.He gets easily frustrated by trying to understand what she needs orwants, and sometimes just guesses. He might even swallow his prideenough to approach Szayel, attempting to learn how to read, so thathe can better take care of his S/O.

LUPPI

It’sunfortunate, but he’s a bit cruel about it initially. He’s upsetenough to tell her mean things like “Wouldyou stop being so silly and just speak?”and “Idon’t know why it’s so hard for you to just talk to me.”It comes off as insanely insensitive, and probably even hurtful as ifhe’s trying to downplay her trauma, act as though it’s no bigdeal, make her feel guilty for being unable to speak. After sometime, it becomes clear that even though that’s the result, it comesfrom a place of intense fear. Something happened to her, somethingbad enough to take away her willingness to talk despite the fact thatshe’s still physically capable of it. That’s terrifying.It scares him. Over time he learns to read her without words, knowingwhat she might want or need, and reacts accordingly… huffing if shegets overly grateful, though. Sometimes at night, when he clings toher, he’ll murmur that he’s sorry for being such a jerk before.

NAKEEM

Justthinking about how much she must be hurting and how much she’s beenthrough, enough to do this to her, makes him feel even moreprotective of her. This is sadto him, more than anything. Every kind word or gentle touch she’sever given him suddenly hurts worse; someone denied her those thingsand here she is giving them to him when she knows that Hollows areill-equipped to reciprocate. He’s even more driven to keep her safenow, doubly determined to prevent anything bad from happening to herever again. Learning to decipher her body language and any otherclues she might give him as to what she wants comes naturally to himbecause he knows he needsto learn.He just… hasto show her that he’s here, he always will be, even when it’s noteasy.

NNOITRA

He’stired, he’s too fucking tired to want to deal with one morehorrible thing happening. And this? Is… pretty horrible. Even if ithappened before he knew her, it still makes him angry in this awful,exhausted way. If it happened after they met, well, he just blameshimself for not being able to stop it, regardless of the fact thatshe certainly doesn’t think it’s his fault. Once in a while he’lljust feel so unbelievably frustrated that he does things like punchwalls before stalking off, or going out to hunt things in the mostbrutal manner he possibly can. He can’t doanything about this.It’s hard for him to be soft at all, he’s all sharp edges anddoesn’t ever really fitwith her. But if that’s what she needs, he can learn how to be justthat little bit less terrible.Not often, and just for her. Even so, he thinks she should leave him,because he is so, so sure he’s never going to know what to do forher… despite the fact that he does just fine. Fuck,it’s complicated.

SZAYEL

Takehow much fun you think he would be about this, and divide it by ten.His S/O is not going to be a very happy camper unless she enjoysbeing prodded at and made to be her boyfriend’s newest scienceproject. He asks entirely too many questions about what happened —whether he’s oblivious to the fact that he’s dredging uptraumatic memories, or just too tunnel-visioned to care at themoment. Especially if it happened after they met, it’s hisextremely inappropriate way of trying to exert some control over thesituation.Otherwise, he just feels helpless, and that is notan option for him. If she doesn’t want him trying out all manner ofexperimental ‘treatments’ to try and get her voice back, severalof which may be rather unpleasant, she’s going to have to draw ahardline in the sand. All that in mind, however, he’s quick at learningthe best ways to communicate with her, sothat part at least is rarely an issue.

TESLA

Hetries very, very hard not to dwell on what happened, no matterwhether it was before or after they met. What is he going to do bythinking about it? That isn’t going to change what happened andit’s not going to bring her voice back. When he does think aboutit, about how much pain she went through, thekind of thing that’s maybe a fraction of the trauma Hollows gothrough,all he gets in response is the feeling of his throat tightening. Shedeserves so much better than that. He’s angry that things lined upin a way that allowed this to happen to her. It’s important,though, that he keeps a lid on those feelings so he doesn’tfrighten her with their intensity. Instead, he does his best to becalm around her, to not get frustrated, even though it’s difficult.He pours every ounce of his existence into being softfor her; a barely perceptible smile, a subtle squeeze of her fingersthat he hopes is reassuring, a hand carding through her hair. Everymoment he can, he studies her, so that he might be able to learn howto understand what she needs.

YYLFORDT

Hetries to cover it up acting like it doesn’t matter in theslightest, but just thinking about whatever she’s been through…it makes him angry. Angrier than he’s ever been, he thinks…angrier than he even knows how to express. More than anything hewishes he could hunt down whoever, whatever,affected her so badly and just make them cease to exist. Much as hethinks he’s hiding his true feelings, he doesn’t have thecapacity to be really believable about it, and as a result, his S/Ocan definitely tell what he’s feeling. She knows he’s angry, andshe is too, and if she can convince him of this, he might accept thatsometimes all they can do is be angry together. It’s easy for himto get distressed about communication, because he’s not greatat it in the first place, and this makes it harder, so he’s proneto minor blowups about being unable to figure out what she wants. Afew rude things will probably slip out, things that he doesn’tactually mean that he was just too late to stop. Forget swallowinghis pride —he’ll choke it the fuck down and ask Szayel to help him out, evenknowing he’ll have to put up with that smug look on his brother’sface. Being able to do something for his S/O is, strangely, worth itto him.

[remywrites5]

15 with Jegulus?

Hi nonny! Since I got two of the same prompt for Jegulus I decided to do #14 instead. Hope that’s ok! 

***********

     Regulus wasn’t exactly big on Halloween. He’d outgrown his go to a party and get drunk on Halloween phase. He didn’t have any children so trick or treating wasn’t exactly a thing for him. He hardly bothered to decorate his house for the Holiday – just putting out a Jack O’lantern he’d gotten pre-carved and a spooky skeleton that held a dish of candy so kids wouldn’t knock on his door. Sometimes he felt like the Scrooge of Halloween but it wasn’t like he had anyone to share it with. Halloween was just a night where he was reminded of how little he had in his life and was accosted by oddly dressed sprogs begging for sweets.

           He was flipping through Netflix, looking for something that fit the occasion, maybe something that would get him into the Holiday spirit. He put on the original Ghostbusters and started flipping through Facebook. There were a million pictures of his nephew, Teddy. He had no idea what Teddy was supposed to be, but if he had to guess it was something to do with Minecraft, as that was Teddy’s current obsession.

           Unlike Regulus, his brother Sirius was very into Halloween. Every year, Siirus would decorate their house and be so completely extra about it. The flashing lights timed to “This is Halloween” from the Nightmare before Christmas, the ghosts on sticks holding hands and dancing around a fire, and Sirius himself hiding in the bushes waiting to scare unsuspecting children.

           Regulus liked a few of the pictures and put his phone down. Love for Halloween used to be a common trait between Sirius and Regulus. It was the one night their strict parents would let them go out and be kids. Now that he had his own family with Remus and Teddy, Sirius had kept that love alive. It was harder for Regulus to get invested when he had no one. He could have gone over to Sirius’ and joined in on their Halloween. He knew he would be more than welcome, but for whatever reason he just couldn’t make himself go. He already felt like a burden around Christmas, ruining their lovely family hols, he didn’t want to intrude more than necessary.

           The doorbell rang and Regulus groaned, scrubbing his hand over his face. “Just a minute,” he shouted, hoisting himself up off the sofa and going to the front door. He was more than a little annoyed when he opened it to find not children but an adult man standing before him.

           “You’re out of candy,” the man said, gesturing towards the skeleton bowl, which had indeed been cleaned out. Regulus eyed the man up and down and fuck this guy was good-looking. Maybe it was his six-month dry spell playing tricks on him but he was pretty sure this guy was just really fucking hot. He had on a black cape and some terrible fake vampire teeth, clearly having put very little effort into his costume. Regulus was pretty sure he could put together a better costume from the shit in his closet.

           “So?” Regulus asked with a shrug, trying his best to remain nonchalant. “That’s all the candy I had. Besides, aren’t you a little old for trick or treating?”

           The man shifted uncomfortably. “My son is in the car,” he explained, gesturing to a black SUV parked on the street. Regulus felt his shoulders sag at the news. Of course a guy like that wouldn’t be single. Wishful thinking on his part. “He fell asleep after what I can only call an epic sugar rush. I might have let him snack a bit too much on the candy while he drove from house to house.”

           Regulus cocked his head to the side. “I’m still failing to see how any of this is my concern,” he said honestly, finding that he had lost a bit of his patience for this hot stranger now that he knew he was a dad.

           “Well you have to give me a treat or else I’ll be forced to trick you,” the guy said with a shrug. “Those are the rules.” The stranger grinned and shook his candy bag pointedly.

           Regulus rolled his eyes. “I’m almost tempted to tell you to do your worst but I’m not exactly in the mood to get my house covered in toilet roll. Let me see what I’ve got that might be edible. Come in, I suppose.”

           Regulus left the door open as he padded into the kitchen. The stranger hesitated for a moment and then Regulus heard the front door shut. “Wow,” the stranger said, whistling. “I purposefully came to the rich neighborhoods to get the best candy but this is next level.”

           Reappearing into the front hallway, Regulus held up the two items he’d managed to find in his pantry. He wasn’t exactly one for cooking so his kitchen was more or less bare. “I’ve got a can of chicken noodle soup and a packet of digestives.”

           “I’ll take the biscuits,” the stranger said, opening the bag so Regulus could put them in. “Thank you.”

           Regulus sighed and carded his fingers through his hair. “Happy Halloween, I suppose.”

           “Are you watching Ghostbusters?” the guy asked, walking past Regulus and into the living room where the telly was. “Classic!”

           Regulus frowned, wondering just why this guy refused to leave his house. “Shouldn’t you be getting back to your son?” he asked pointedly, grabbing the remote and pausing the movie.

           “Oh right, yeah,” the stranger said, blushing prettily. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

           Regulus escorted the stranger back to the front door - because the son of Walburga Black had been raised with manners if nothing else. “Well this was absolutely bizarre. Thanks for dropping in, I guess.”

           “I’m James Potter, by the way.”

           “I didn’t ask,” Regulus responded, opening the door for him.

           James chuckled as if unoffended by Regulus’ comment. “I like you,” he said, standing in Reg’s doorway as if refusing to leave. “You’ve got spunk.”

           “Moxie,” Reg corrected. “What I’ve got is called moxie. And you’ve got a son waiting in the car.”

           James only grinned wider. The man was maddening. “Aren’t they the same thing?”

           Regulus huffed in annoyance. “Is there a reason why you refuse to leave my house?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you even have a son in the car or is it just an excuse to get free candy without looking like a creep?”

           “You think I’m making up a son to get candy?”

           Reg shrugged.

           “Well I would go get him from the car just to prove you wrong but if I wake him up now he’ll never get back to sleep,” James informed him, glancing out towards the car. “And since it would be your fault that he was awake it would only be right that you be the one to get him back to sleep.”

           This James person was absolutely unbelievable! “Since when is your son my responsibility?”

           James laughed good-naturedly. “Fine, I’ll leave him be. But I do have a son!”

           Regulus’ brow furrowed as he stared at the most gorgeous and most confusing man he thought he’d ever met. “No offense mate, but I really don’t care either way.”

           “You wound me,” James said, clutching his heart dramatically.

           “You’ll get over it,” Regulus assured him, giving James a small shove out the door and shutting it behind him. He’d had quite enough of that. Halloween indeed!

                                                           ***

           It had been two days since Halloween and Reg was still reeling a little bit from the hot stranger. Hot strangers were always welcome at his house but not ones that were probably married and definitely had children. Regulus had no interest in that shit storm.

           Which is why it was very odd indeed when James ended up back on his doorstep with a tiny human with him. “See?” James said, grinning smugly and gesturing to the child. “I told you I had a son.”

           “Hi!” the child said with a wave.

           “Go on in, Harry,” James instructed his son, releasing his hand so Harry to sneak on in. Regulus stared in shock – his mouth opening and closing like a fish – as the retreating back of James’ son went into his living room and turned on the telly. He was even more gobsmacked when James walked inside and shut the door for him.

           “It can’t be Halloween again already,” Regulus said, feeling a little bit hysterical because there was a man and his child in his house uninvited.

           James laughed. “Nope,” he said, clapping his hand on Reg’s shoulder and giving it a small squeeze. “We just thought we’d stop by.”

           “Why?” Regulus asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “You don’t even know me.”

           ‘”Oh, I know you, Regulus Black,” James said with a self-satisfied grin.

           “Been stalking me?”

           James rolled his eyes and removed his hand from Reg’s shoulder. Reg missed the warmth of the touch, just a little bit. “Harry’s primary school teacher is Remus Lupin,” he stated matter-of-factly while looking oh so smug about it. “He and Teddy are mates. We go over there for play-dates all the time.”

           “Then why aren’t you over there right now?” Reg asked in exasperation. “Why are you here?”

           “Because…” James said, stepping in closer to Regulus. “The last time I was here I forgot to ask you out.”

           Regulus stared at James, his brow knitting together in confusion. “And…Harry’s mother wouldn’t have a problem with this?”

           James playful expression grew sad and Regulus hated himself for causing it. James took his glasses off and cleaned them, clearly stalling for time, and placed them back on his nose. “Harry’s mum is no longer with us,” James said, swallowing thickly. “Complications with the birth.”

           “I’m so sorry,” Regulus said quietly. Not quite sure what to do, Regulus pulled James into a hug. It seemed the most appropriate reaction to that kind of information.

           “Mmm,” James hummed happily, hugging Reg back. “If that’s what I knew it would take for you to touch me I would have played the dead wife card sooner.”

           Regulus shoved James away. “God, I – what is wrong with you? Is your wife even dead?”

           “Oh ye of little faith,” James said, running his fingers through his messy hair and holy shit was that not playing fair. “Sometimes I make jokes about things that make me uncomfortable. Lily’s death is top of the list so sometimes I can seem a little…”

           “Prickish?” Regulus supplied.

           “Insensitive,” James finished with a shrug. “And I’m just starting to get to the point where I’m not miserable about it all the time. Not feeling incredibly guilty when I find someone fit or attractive as if I’m disgracing the memory of my dead wife. Then I knocked on your door and you’re incredibly handsome and funny and I didn’t want to leave because it felt so good just to flirt with you. I came back today because I couldn’t stop thinking about you and then I was looking on Facebook and it said “Regulus Black also liked this photo”’ and I thought oh right Sirius mentioned having a brother and I clicked on the picture and it was you. It felt important, you know? I know I’m a packaged deal and maybe that’s not very sexy but I like you and I’d really like to take you out sometime.”

           Regulus took a moment to process James’ speech as it was a lot of information being thrown at him all at once. If he chose to do this, it wouldn’t just be committing to James, but a little boy as well. He wouldn’t be able to end things without hurting both of them if things went sour. He glanced up at James who was staring at him with a hopeful expression that nearly broke Reg’s heart. Maybe, just maybe, James Potter was too good to pass up.

Making a decision, Reg stepped forward and kissed James softly on the lips in a way that he hoped communicated his decision. When he pulled away James was grinning like an idiot. He supposed the message was received.

           “So…” Reg said, biting his bottom lip nervously. “I suppose you better introduce me properly to your son then.”

           “I’d love to!” James said, taking Reg’s hand and leading him into the living room where Harry was waiting.

[heytherejulietx]

honestly i was pretty much the same! i was able to go to the proms in 2008 — it was amazing!! i was also lucky enough to go and see this thing, i’m not exactly sure what it was but it basically had all the monsters, costumes etc of doctor who & you could get a photo in the tardis. which was 9 year old me’s dream!!

torchwood doesn’t really follow any doctor specifically, like they’re mentioned; but no doctor ever appears on the show — i haven’t seen miracle day so i could be wrong. but practically you could insert any doctor in there.

as for amy & eleven, they basically allowed me to have my bisexual awakening. love that for them!! eleven is also my favourite, closely followed by nine — because nine was my first! and without nine this incredible show wouldn’t even exist; so people that skip him infuriate me.

in terms of ten, this is probably gonna be an unpopular opinion… definitely is, but he’s like second to bottom for me. just because he can be so insensitive sometimes, especially towards martha… not even in the unreciprocated love way, but like the historical racism thing… “just walk around like you own the place.” tf you mean?? my beloved can be racially attacked or worse.

but my favourite two parters come from ten: silence in the library/forest of the dead & human nature/the family of blood.

did you end up seeing the small short p.s? unbelievably i’ve only seen it recently and it’s so beautifully written but should be criminal with how much it plays on the heart strings. <3 - 👼

YOU WENT TO THE 2008 PROMS OMG YOU’RE SO LUCKY!!!! i’d love to experience the music in person it looks absolutely incredible im glad you had such a good time!!!

i know torchwood is like a higher age rating than doctor who and i do plan on watching it eventually for sure. maybe when my doctor who kick fully comes back when the show does later this year :)

NO BECAUSE SAME OMG amy was probably part of my bisexual awakening and i never even realised it omg. same with river though tbh. and eleven just owns my heart he’s just so incredible 🥰 he will always be my absolute favourite. nine was so good!!! his talent is phenomenal tbh and his whole season i won’t skip any episodes they’re all too good. i think my second favourite doctor must be twelve though, especially for the twelve/clara plotline. also we got missy who i absolutely love so much

i love ten but i always feel so sorry for martha :( i hated how her character was just used as another love interest for the doctor because she turned out to be arguably the strongest companion the doctor ever had and her potential was wasted on her unrequited love for the doctor, and the episodes with the master show that because martha did EVERYTHING and it wasn’t really touched on again??? that being said, ten/donna is one of my favourite dynamics of the show and i think that’s my best ten season.

HUMAN NATURE / FAMILY OF BLOOD OHHHH MY GOD WHAT AN AMAZING DOUBLE EPISODE. i rewatched doctor who from 9 pretty recently when i finally watched all of 13 and oh my god family of blood made me cry so much. david tennant’s acting in that episode is phenomenal i really felt for john smith :( and the silence in the library double will always be one of the best things of the show. ESPECIALLY because it sets up arguably the best written plotline of the show; river’s story.

and i don’t think i have seen that?? i’ll have to check it out ty for letting me know :)

also omg i’m so sorry i got to this ask a day late if i answered last night i would’ve been too tired and my reply would have been so bad LMAO

[mystichanjumin]

A Love Lost - Saeyoung

This is a part of the A Love Lost series Pairing: Saeyoung Choi/ Mc (you) Genre: Angst Summary: This is a series I'm writing that deals with how the Mystic Messenger characters deal with Mc's death. I will keep every character's chapter as close to their timeline/ route as I can (if they have a route). Every chapter focuses on a specific character, while others may appear in the chapter as well. This series will be centered on how they learn, process Mc's death, and the aftermath. A/N: This is my first time doing a full angst piece so feedback is greatly appreciated! Masterlist

“What are you thinking about?”

Saeyoung’s head laid on Mc’s lap as she absentmindedly played with his hair, “Hm?”

“You’ve got that look on your face,” Mc spoke softly as she continued to stroke his hair. “So, what are you thinking about?”

Saeyoung looked up at Mc and was met with inquisitive eyes, “How did I get so lucky?”

“What do you mean,” Mc knitted her eyebrows.

“Of all the people on this planet, how did someone like me find someone like you. How did someone like you fall in love with someone like me?”

Mc shrugged, “Easy. We’re obviously soulmates.”

“Soulmates,” Saeyoung repeated with that goofy smile he always got when she spoke that way. “Obviously.”

There was nothing he wanted more than to go back and relive that moment again and again.  He wanted to feel her soothing touch as he laid his head on her lap. He wanted to hear her voice as she tells him about the day, or whatever mundane thing had happened that day. He just wanted her back. There was nothing he wanted more than to see her walk through the doors of his bunker and tell him that this was all just some sick, twisted prank and that she was okay… but he knew that would never happen.

He had been by her side as she took her last breath in that hospital bed. The harsh fluorescent lights of that hospital room stole the color in her cheeks long before death did. He watched through tear-filled eyes as the love of his life struggled to formulate a coherent sentence, “Sae… young…”

“I’m right here, honey,” he tried his best to sound at ease, but his voice wavered.

“Not your fault,” she mumbled. Her eyes began to close and Saeyoung quickly called for a nurse as he tried to keep her eyes open.

“No no no, please don’t leave me,” the tears flowed freely as he desperately cupped Mc’s face in his hands. “Look at me, please. I need you, Mc, please don’t go. I love you. I am so completely in love with you. We’re soulmates, remember? You can’t just leave me.”

“Soulmates,” Mc repeated with a weak smile. It sounded as if she were relaying a fact; yes, they were and always will be soulmates. “I love you so much. I don’t want to go,” it was the first time that Mc let her fear show. She was scared, dear lord was she scared. She didn’t want to leave him, they still had so much they had to do together.

It broke his heart as he heard the fear in her voice and saw just how terrified she was. He decided, in that moment, that he had to push aside his own fear in order to comfort her. He didn’t want her last moments on earth, in his arms, to be filled with fear, “You’ll be okay, and I’ll be okay. I always told you-you were an angel, so you’ll fit right in.”

Mc couldn’t help but chuckle softly at her husband. She then looked him directly in the eyes, “Promise me that you won’t shut down again, okay? Don’t close yourself off because of me.”

“I promise,” it was a lie. They both knew it was a lie, but if it was what would soothe her he would say or do anything.

It was as if those two words were what she was waiting for, “I love…”

The sound that the heart monitor made when her heart stopped would haunt him for the rest of his life. When that sound rang he completely lost it. The blood-chilling scream he let out could be heard all the way in the waiting room, where the rest of the RFA sat waiting. The members sat in silence as they processed the unbelievable truth. Mc, the one who brought so much light and warmth into their once cold and broken organization was gone, and she left behind the shell of the man she loved.  It was a few minutes later, but it felt like an eternity when the red-haired man entered the waiting room. He looked… hollow. No one knew the right words to say, or if those particular words even existed; in all honesty, they didn’t.

Saeyoung looked as if he were going to say something, but quickly closed his mouth and walked out of the room. Saeran watched as his brother fled, then say as the members looked amongst each other to see who would be best equipped to chase after the broken man. They all would, they all wanted to, but they also knew that that wasn’t what Saeyoung needed. Without saying a word Saeran exited the room the same way his brother had. The door he had used led to staircases. He made his way down, wondering if his brother had managed to get to the parking garage.

He hadn’t. Saeyoung was sat on one of the steps, as if he no longer had the energy, or will, to go any further. Saeran quietly sat down beside his brother and tentatively began to rub soothing circles on his back, something he had learned from Mc. Whenever he or his brother were going through a particularly rough patch she would do this while talking to them about what was troubling them or about some random thing. The way she was able to gauge what someone needed without a word having to be spoken was incredible. Saeran didn’t have that talent, he didn’t know what to do in regards to human connections, that was something Mc had been helping him with.

Saeran knew that the pain he was feeling was only amplified by a thousand for his brother, “I’m sorry.”

Saeyoung leaned his head against Saeran’s shoulder as he cried, he didn’t say a word. Saeran wrapped his arms around his brother, just as Saeyoung had always done for him during any of his episodes. The twins sat there as they both allowed themselves to sob. Nothing would ever be the same, both within Saeyoung and the RFA.

It had been three weeks since her death and it seemed like things had only gotten worse. Vanderwood had stopped going to Saeyoung’s bunker, not out of insensitivity but because he too had grown attached to the young woman and her absence was soul crushing. The rest of the RFA had attempted to see Saeyoung, but to no avail. He never left his house and no one, except for Saeran, was allowed inside. No one had heard from Saeyoung since the day Mc was buried and they grew more concerned with every day that passed.

“Saeyoung,” Saeran knocked on his bedroom door, “um, your friends are here. I let them in.”

The speed in which the door opened had startled Saeran, “Why did you do that?”

“They wouldn’t leave.”

“Tell them to leave,” Saeyoung tried to keep his voice down. He didn’t want one of them following the sound of his voice.

“You tell them,” Saeran hoped this would work. He knew that Saeyoung would not get better unless he was pushed towards that direction, they were the same in that respect.

Saeyoung huffed as he walked passed his brother.  Saeran followed his brother as he stormed into the living room, “Leave.”

“We haven’t heard from you in three weeks, Sae-”

“Don’t,” he winced as he interrupted Jumin. “Don’t call me that.”

Maybe it was silly, but he couldn’t handle hearing his real name. The first person he had shared that name and his true self with, was the same woman he had lost those weeks ago. “Luciel,” Jumin reverted to an old alias Saeyoung used to use because he saw the look that flashed in his eyes when he spoke his real name. “We have all been very worried about you.”

“We understand that it’s difficult, Luciel but-”

“‘Difficult’”, he scoffed. “It’s much more than that, Zen. Do you have any idea what it’s like to lose the only person on this planet who knew who you really were? Do you know what it’s like to have them die in your arms while they look at you with so much fear in their eyes?”

“Yes,” Jumin answered honestly. “I had known… Jihyun… since we were children. He knew everything there is to know about me, the good and the ugly. I watched him take his last breath with a bullet wound in his chest. However, I’ve also come to learn that keeping all of those emotions, regardless of how exhausting they are, locked away is not healthy.”

Saeyoung looked at the older man in disbelief, “Yeah? How did you learn that, huh?”

“From your wife,” Jumin smiled sadly as he spoke of his dear friend.

“Sounds like something she’d do,” Saeyoung found himself smiling for the first time since that day. “She’d always talk about how everyone in this ‘damn organization is seriously messed up’. I-I don’t know what to do anymore. Everything just feels so… dull. When… When does it stop hurting so bad?”

“It doesn’t,” Jaehee took a deep breath before continuing. “Some part of you simply becomes accustomed to it, I think. That’s not to say it won’t still hurt because it will. Some days the pain will feel like it’s suffocating, but sometimes it’ll be a little more bearable.”

The rest of that day was spent sharing stories about his beloved wife, some he hadn’t even heard. He found himself genuinely smiling for the first time. The night was drawing to a close, then before he knew it the only ones in his living room were Jumin, Saeran, and himself.

“How do you deal with it,” Saeyoung asked suddenly.

Jumin shook his head, “I’m not one to ask, Luciel, I drink.”

“Right,” he relaxed into the couch. “She’d always reprimand you for that.”

“You can’t say her name, can you?”

“No.”

Jumin nodded in understanding. Saeyoung had noticed the difficulty the older man had had when he spoke Jihyun’s name earlier but chose not to comment on it. The trio continued to talk until Jumin departed. When the only people left in the house were Saeyoung and his brother he turned to face him, “Thank you.”

That was the only thing that needed to be said because those two words held so much meaning. After sometime Saeran said goodnight to his brother and retreated back to his room. Once he was alone Saeyoung allowed himself to venture into the thoughts that had terrified him for the whole of those three weeks. What if he forgot the exact color of her eyes? Or the way she used to look at him when he said something incredibly stupid? He could live with the world forgetting him, but not her. Saeyoung pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and looked through his gallery until he found the video he was searching for.

When he pressed play on the video the sound of her laughter filled the room with warmth, “What are you doing?”

He heard his voice reply, “I need evidence. No one is going to believe me unless I have actual evidence of you saying it.”

“I just said that, personally, I think you’re more attractive than Zen,” she said in between bubbles of laughter. “If you show this to him we’re both going to have to listen to at least a full hour of Zen Whining, are you prepared for that?”

“You know what, he doesn’t have to see this.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she playfully rolled her eyes. “But, I mean it. You’re the most attractive man I’ve ever met.”

“Are you sure you don’t need these glasses more than I do.”

She playfully pushed him, and that was where the video stopped. The room was silent again, her voice was gone. The love of his life was gone, his soulmate was gone. He thought about that for a moment. Everyone always talked about finding their soulmates, and he had been lucky enough to have actually found his. But, no one is ever prepared for what it would feel like to lose that soulmate. It was like having his heart shattered into a thousand different pieces and while he was trying desperately to fix it he realized that a large chunk of it was missing. He would never be whole again because that missing part of his heart was with the one who it belonged to. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be okay, but one thing that did comfort him was that deep in his heart he knew that he would never forget a single thing about her because the two of them were soulmates, obviously.

[elizabethrobertajones]

Honestly I'd rather have Sam, Dean and Cas have a conflict than being what they are now :( It's nice but it feel more like lipservice cause they arent adapting their format around them being team, it's just makes me angrier when Cas gets excluced now, when Sam and Dean contact others to work with instead of Cas, when they working on what Cas is WITHOUT HIM (Kelly). Giving them some issue would explain the sporadic seperations but still a shared emotional B plot with future resolutioon

I’m sorry it’s making you angry :( I can’t exactly say I’m super optimistic that 12x17 is going to do very well with this because it’s Buckleming and they’re becoming brilliant at writing episodes Cas should be in but isn’t, and not mentioning him - the only saving grace is he’s spared from being involved in some of their episodes, and contributing to the bad decisions :P After 10x21 and him fading out into the void to make way for bad decisions, and 11x09 where he was off idk getting his car tuned up or something after reclaiming it from Metatron, it’s always nice for him to have low culpability for their plot twists…

Which makes it really hard for me to judge all this fairly because all these Dagon and Kelly sightings are happening in Buckleming episodes, and they’re the ones who are full steam ahead on the Lucifer’s baby thing while the other writers are giving it a wide berth, but it also unfortunately seems like the sort of plot Cas would be attached to with his lingering Lucifer guilt, the angel connection, etc etc and they always need a reason to punt him into the void for MotW episodes… Just now we’re getting 2 in a row Buckleming episodes where after they connected Cas to this arc, they’re not using him for it… Normally I’d have some positivity about the writers doing this that or the other, but this whole subplot is happening in like, an alternate dimension, and I’m starting to feel like rescuing Cas from it is a secret side agenda from the other writers :P 

What DOES feel positive to me is that the episodes Cas is in HAVE been really good to him, especially the 12x10/12x12 stuff where they were absolutely all working with Cas and he was a part of the team, and everything was happening exactly as it was supposed to. To me this feels so much more like what Dabb era is supposed to be, and all the promises that seemed to be made and things we were hoping as far back as the middle of season 11 when it started to seem like Dabb of all people was about to take the Iron Throne… In all the OTHER episodes the season has absolutely delivered on everything I wanted and thought would happen, to the point where I’ve been kind of just sitting here stewing peacefully in season 12 like I’m in a hot bath, without a great deal of an agenda or much to say about it because I’m so content to just see what happens and enjoying the character development and so on.

I mean, ignoring Buckleming, and the Kelly stuff, we have had a whole arc about Cas’s belonging and where he calls home, and Cas finally being firmly embedded in the family, and then, with some random background reason for it to happen, Cas now going to meet the angels and have some sort of reckoning with his old family. Whatever nephilim stuff is powering it, the real importance of all that is going to be whatever Cas and Joshua say to each other about Cas’s belonging in Heaven and how THEY see him, with the nephilim just as a reason for Cas to be there, and some random external thing to motivate their actions and choices. In the overall examination of Cas’s arc when it’s all said and done, I think this will be the lasting impression. 

And I’m really genuinely happy for that, and enjoying where they’re taking Cas with all this because it all feels like finally paying off stuff that was set up in season EIGHT or season NINE. That’s, like 2 seasons of Cas’s arc just being teased and teased and drawn out before we get back to actual work on it, and from 11x23 onwards Cas has been making genuine progress forwards in pretty much every episode he’s in (12x02 and 12x08 notwithstanding because Buckleming where it was more like they were pushing the food around on their plate with Cas) on his personal arc.

I don’t know, I’ve not found any of the reasons Cas hasn’t been in an episode actually to be unbelievable except for 12x13, obviously, where he SHOULD have been there because it was his thing at this point in the story. But 12x15 at least has him covered now that as long as the heaven drama pays off when we catch up with Cas again; these absences are explained by him being on his personal quest to find belonging and in this case, work out where the hell he stands with Heaven after finally managing to confess how much he loves the Winchesters and considers them family, and having that reciprocated. 

The stuff at the start of the season made sense that if they were going to keep Lucifer alive, Cas WOULD have a stake in finding him, and in that case working with Crowley was used to, as you said, put some tension between him and Dean to create something interesting in the way they WEREN’T together, and the unity at the start of the season was challenged. Then that was all resolved and Cas spent a while hanging at the Bunker and quickly moving through a lot of personal stuff; if he wasn’t in 12x11 it was because Sam and Dean went to deal with a seemingly small matter, and then Dean didn’t want to worry him when it all got too real. Then 12x12 was incredible, and 12x13 breaks the streak, sends Cas out into the cold and there’s nothing to work with in 12x14 and he’s not meant to be in that one, and 12x15 manages to salvage him back onto his arc. 12x16 once again he’s absent but kind of watching over things (in 11x12 he was also sneakily present in details like grumpy cat and without a Gas n Sip, other sun imagery, and Dean was kind of mocked by the set people for not noticing Casifer yet, which I thought was great :P) and while I don’t like no one mentioned him in 12x16, I do think there’s pleeenty of room to headcanon that Dean went and prayed to him when he stepped outside, since once again Cas is out of reach, and he always seems to be now when we have Claire stuff, like, she comes up as a reminder of that >.> kinda sucks, but ALSO kinda points out the massive hole here made by Cas missing. Which is then a story element, since I don’t think they DID forget him, just wrote him as not in the episode, in the empty spaces. 

This is all just really weird having basically rogue writers on the staff who are somehow writing a completely different story, charging recklessly ahead with it, and their own subplots, and somehow being on a completely different level to all the rest of the writing staff. I still think Perez intentionally wrote circles around them with the 12x12/12x13/12x15 Lucifer stuff; that the pay off only worked so well because there was a godawfully obvious amount of lousy exposition and surface level Crowley characterisation crammed in between the reveal. It’s like a magic trick and I don’t reference the Prestige lightly but he literally used them to do the middle part of the magic trick, where the magician’s assistant walks around and around the curtain distracting the audience, while he’s waiting on the other side for the big reveal - the pay off only works with the frivolous bit in the middle because if you went from 12x12 to 12x15 there wouldn’t be enough tension that Crowley was being a colossal idiot, and revealing that Crowley has been ten steps ahead, and the Buckleming part was just part of the trick, that it actually is the prestige :P 

This is kind of off-topic to Cas by now, but, I guess, I’m waiting to see what other rabbits they can pull out of a hat to work around the bizarre plot Buckleming have introduced, and I feel like the *rest* of the writing team are genuinely the best set of writers the show’s ever had in terms of solidly written stuff, when you average it out between them (and ignore the spiders georg of rapey badly paced episodes writers - in other seasons I sometimes feel like you’re hanging on for the spiders georg who writes, like, 6x20, and is an outlier adn should not have been counted for overall season enjoyment because wow 1 episode can make or break a season, she says scowling at 10x21 again)… 

Anyway, so nothing else about what’s going on with Cas being left out of episodes has actually bothered me, and I actually like where he’s going so MUCH better than other seasons, like season 10 when he drifted sadly around in the background for most of the time, and when Crowley rightfully mocks him for doing so, Cas’s only retort is, well, so are you (in that 10x14 deleted scene, which if you ignore the Cas/Dean/Crowley love triangle stuff, is an absolutely depressing portrayal of Cas and Crowley’s role in the season :P)… 

This time Cas might not be around but he’s had a really good arc and I feel like everything makes sense, except for the fact Buckleming introduced this plot, attached Cas to it, and for 2 episodes haven’t utilised him in it after all, leaving him trailing after it to pick of clues of what he missed 2 episodes later or whatever. Basically as long as I separate what *everyone else* is doing with Cas from what Buckleming are doing I have genuinely got no complaints with what’s up with Cas. And in a way everything Buckleming do that annoys me, from bad pacing to rapey scenes and killing off faves pointlessly and insensitively, to leaving Cas out, all gets scrunched up and dropped in the recycle bin together in my head, so as an individual complaint about the season, I don’t actually mind in a weird way, where I’m now trying to be as zen as possible about having these rampaging writers in the middle of what’s otherwise the most fascinating attempt to fix something that was almost indescribably knotted up and broken that I’ve ever seen :P 12x15 gave me the confidence that perhaps on top of dealing with everything else historical, maybe the rest of the writing will ALSO manage to deal with Buckleming as they introduce new nonsense into the season? 

I mean, this is just how I’m dealing with it, but I hope my perspective helps. I’m very tired and don’t really have the energy to stress and wank about the show in a big way aside from acknowledging what bothers me. So here’s my peace with it >.> 

[hismalice]

EVERYTHING !!! JK, EVERYTHING THAT STARTS / HAS THE # 2 IN IT!!

CHARACTER SOLIDIFYING / accepting !

djkdgjdj jesus. ok this is going under a readmore

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

     komaeda’s mother was distant, as was his father. she had good intentions, but often executed them poorly; constantly busy with work. she contributed massively to his self esteem complex, often scolding him for the symptoms of his illness such as oral fixation or slow, awkward speech. after her death, komaeda generally stopped thinking about either of his parents entirely; fixed on the belief that there’s no point holding onto memories of the dead. her passive criticisms continue to influence him, though, partially explaining his constantly self-deprecating sense of humour.

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

   naturally, komaeda is very intelligent, and has an innate knack for problem-solving; on top of that, his parents sent him to prestigious schools due to their wealth. after he was diagnosed with cancer he stopped attending school regularly, but his education continued through correspondence; due to the high-class, repressed environment, his way of speaking became very formal and polite, even when talking to people he’s familiar with. 

    however, a symptom of his dementia is slow, repetitive or confusing speech; he became very attached to decorative affirmatives such as ‘right’ and developed a tendency to repeat himself; as a result, the complex reasoning that goes on inside his head doesn’t always communicate well, meaning his actions often seem utterly nonsensical and impossible to justify by any logic.

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

    komaeda paid next to no attention to world events throughout his life, simply because he was so socially isolated. the most important social event he’s experienced would likely be the tragedy and ultimate despair. 

21. What are your character’s manners like? 

     komaeda is, technically, very well mannered - he doesn’t swear, always bows deeply; at a first impression, he’s very respectable. however, his dementia has left him somewhat socially impaired; an extended conversation with him will therefore almost always result in him saying something entirely inappropriate, making a tasteless joke, and just generally behaving in a socially unacceptable way. 

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

    he can happily be friends with almost anyone, due to the fact that he’s genuinely interested in and supportive of most people he meets (though whether they’d consider him a friend is another matter). he likes potential and people he can’t predict; generally, he’s drawn to strong, talented, charismatic or impressive people. when he decides he likes someone, it’s very easy for him to hyper-fixate on them, and build them up to practical godhood in his mind. sadly, he’s rarely interested in people who treat him well. 

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

   komaeda is unfortunately very self-destructive in relationships and intimacy. what he really wants isn’t what he actively seeks out; usually he will look for a partner that makes him feel useful to them - unlike most people, komaeda feels genuinely empowered by being used for another’s gain.

   in accordance with his own masochistic nature, he’ll often try to provoke a partner into injuring or otherwise abusing him. in reality this is because he thrives off attention, and doesn’t care whether it’s positive or negative; since he’s unused to positive attention, he rarely seeks it out. 

   sex, in the same vein, isn’t an entirely healthy experience for him. his interest in sex is less for his own pleasure and more to being used for someone else’s, in the belief that’ll make them like him, and want to keep him around. 

  while he does invite and request violence from sexual partners, though, he is in reality just looking to feel wanted and valued. kissing, being embraced, hands in his hair; those are more likely to genuinely help support him, rather than knock him down further. unfortunately, he’s incredibly hard to love, and while he craves it, he will probably reject tenderness or gentleness most of the time. 

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

komaeda doesn’t take part in many activities, and generally is more of an observer of social groups rather than a part of them. when he is involved, though, he prefers to play supporting roles, helping other people shine. 

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

he doesn’t really have many beyond uh, ‘plotting’ and ‘puppeteering’ and ‘being choked’ 

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

it’s very impersonal; he’s accustomed to not having many possessions or personal space, given all the years he spent at the hospital. however, he likes pretty things like ornaments and postcards, and collects them when he can. his clothing is generally very simple and loose, and tends to be in very muted colours; he rarely wears colour at all except for dark greens or reds. 

his hair is messy, overgrown and unkempt. it’s very thick and unruly; as a result he rarely brushes it. as a result of his devastating illnesses, both his hair and skin are dry and lack life or luster. his body is emaciated and underweight, bones jutting out and bright blue veins visible under the skin. if he were healthier, he could be called objectively attractive in a feminine way, but his pallor and personality both take away from beauty he might hold. 

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

he hates his appearance and has no confidence in it, having often been put down for it as a child. as a result he doesn’t put much effort into how he looks beyond washing. most of his clothes are oversized or ill-fitting, other than his jeans.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

this is verse depending so!! however, komaeda is canonically in love with hinata/kamukura, both because of his talent and simply because he finds him fascinating.

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

where to begin - he’s insensitive, apathetic, inappropriate, cruel at times; socially impaired, violent, no impulse control, horrendously manipulative, morally deranged with little regard for most human life, unmotivated, both overly pessimistic and optimistic at the same time; quick to give up or deem people of no worth; self-destructive, rude without realising, overfamiliar and unbelievably sycophantic. 

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

generally he’s unresponsive to stress situations, and will meet them with a smile and overly optimistic or nihilistic attitude; sometimes both. he is very used to stressful situations, given his entire life has basically been one, so they don’t (visibly) affect or shock him. 

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

love; belief that there’s a reason for him to exist; hope. 

[k-k-armadillo]

Just curious, why don't you want people to tag as kin on your art?

uuuuuuh i think ive answered this before somewhere but i cant find the link anywhere rip

readmore cos i cant seem to summarise this very well

i guess a disclaimer, im not kin myself and ive seen a lot of different definitions so mine might be a little bit off

the big thing is ive had issues with people tagging ocs or friends ocs or commissioned work, or even drawings of me or actual family members? which is really weird??? and made me unbelievably uncomfortable

and then there’s people tagging fictional characters ive drawn which is a bit different.

its tricky to explain, but when i draw ive got a super specific image of that character in my head so people claiming that they relate strongly to, or are this character ive drawn with rlly specific things in mind doesnt rlly make sense.

cos the person is also gonna have an incredibly specific set of feelings/headcanons for them because its them. Their head image and my head image of course arent gonna match up so it rlly doesnt make sense to me to put urself onto my art and it kind of erases any intent i had behind it??

and then theres this secondary feeling of people kind of claiming my art which i think im a little bit sensitive to cos of a general fear of my art being stolen

i’d been thinking about it a lot before i started adding a reminder for people, and it sounds really harsh, but to sum it up i draw things for me and to say “oh hey that’s a picture of me!” seems a bit insensitive and out of place

ive seen people with (sometimes really lovely) character tags then a kintype list linking to those tags and honestly i prefer that tagging method a lot better, cos just slapping on “ME THIS IS ME” really just throws me off and feels a bit innapropriate

[harrisonkitteridge-blog]

Sherlock Season 4 – TL;DR: The Fanfiction is Better

SPOILERS AND PALATE-CLEANSING FIC RECS FOLLOW

Season 4 of Sherlock was always going to be a tough sell for me, because the moment they revealed “she’s a secret assassin!” I stopped buying the Mary Watson character. It’s what film critic, Mark Kermode, calls the “Meg Ryan is a helicopter pilot/Keanu Reeves is an architect” problem. Amanda Abbington was just not believable to me as a spec ops assassin, and she wasn’t equipped to perform the action convincingly. And all that was before the problems with the story were even revealed. After Mary shot Sherlock, every time she turned up on the screen, my stomach clenched, because, as presented, she was capable of anything – demonstrating profoundly antisocial tendencies: lying, manipulation, self-serving extreme violence, and disregard for human life. Her total rehabilitation was simply not plausible to me and probably wouldn’t have been even if its foundation hadn’t been the unbelievably ludicrous, glib assertion: “That was surgery.” (Not how guns and bullets work!) Watching her subsequent chumminess with Sherlock, whom she shot in the chest and killed (he flatlined), made me feel like I was being gaslighted. In my mind, it wasn’t good enough for her to say, “I only hurt Sherlock because I love John so much I can’t lose him!” Go down to any battered women’s shelter and you’ll hear similar stories of abusers’ rationalisations for beating up the person their property dared to smile at in the grocery store parking lot. Watching Mary joke and laugh with the people she’d victimised so horribly while continuing to marginalise John made much of The Six Thatchers almost unwatchable for me.

I understand that the undercurrent of intimate partner abuse in the Watson family was wholly unintentional, and it reminds me of the criticisms of 50 Shades of Gray. In both cases, two-dimensional characters (“Action Barbie” and “Sexy Troubled Billionaire”) there solely to serve the plot – not function as decision-making protagonists in their own lives – were the problem. (Yes, I just compared Sherlock to 50 Shades of Gray. At least 50 Shades of Gray had the excuse of a novice writer wrangling with the knottiness of a BDSM relationship as an excuse. Moftiss should know better.) Nevertheless, as much as I disliked the Mary Watson character, as much side eye as I gave her and John’s frankly dubious “love story”, I was appalled by Moftiss icing her so Sherlock could figure out he needs to check his ego. She was just there to sacrifice herself for Sherlock after his douchery got a bullet fired at him and to give John something to shake and sob about. The entire storyline of their “strong female character” was essentially a morality play aimed at teaching Sherlock about the dangers of hubris and a fulcrum to lever up the man-tear quotient. Then they turned their BAMF assassin into the benevolent spirit providing emotional instruction via DVD from beyond the veil. *vomiting emoji*

The Lying Detective at least provided relief from all the incoherent punching and shooting and rappelling of The Six Thatchers, even if it brought with it the lazy construct of the hallucinated spouse as an expression of grief (for real, though, the handling of the Mary Watson character and storyline is a masterclass in what not to do – so incredibly misjudged). One of the major issues I have with Moftiss’s writing is their careless, insensitive handling of serious mental health issues. Using auditory and visual hallucinations as shortcuts to say “I’m devastated by the loss of my wife” really rubbed me the wrong way. John wasn’t just talking to Mary in his head or forgetting she was dead, which happens to many people who lose a loved one suddenly. He was seeing her, hearing her – he couldn’t separate her spectre from reality. Those are not manifestations of grief; they are signs of profound psychological disturbance and distress that require urgent medical intervention, maybe even hospitalisation. They could have tied John’s extreme symptoms to sleep-deprivation from having to deal with Rosie at all hours of the night. The sleep-deprivation could have been exacerbated by insomnia brought on by feelings of guilt. But, no. They did it because real grief, presented the way a well-adjusted, middle-aged adult would experience it just wasn’t sexy enough. 

I never found the “high-functioning sociopath” line funny, but thought they might take it to an interesting place. What is sociopathy? How does it manifest itself? How would it manifest itself in Sherlock Holmes? Why does Sherlock label himself this way? Was he misdiagnosed (he’s obviously not a sociopath)? Was he self-diagnosed? I don’t think Moftiss ever genuinely considered how having a personality disorder would affect a character’s behaviour outside of giving him funny quirks and making him a bit rude. “High-functioning sociopath” was just there as a clapback to Anderson then as something gangster to say before Sherlock shot Magnusson in the face. They never thought it all the way through. By way of comparison, Arthur Conan Doyle described Sherlock Holmes as a law unto himself, as the final arbiter. He was also called “masterful” – able to impose his will on others. When he chose, he had “an ingratiating quality” and could easily earn people’s trust. He was also an accomplished actor and master of disguise, who was able to fool even his dear Watson. There is a grandiose, manipulative psychology at work there that is knitted together with a deep sense of fair play and commitment to justice. While sometimes churlish and short-tempered, he could be profoundly empathetic. He also had nervous breakdowns, what we call major depressive episodes today, and used hard drugs to self-medicate. Sherlock Holmes’s psychology is full of fascinating contradictions. Everything Moftiss needed was in the original text, but they never got beneath the surface. So, while they’ve hit on some of these traits, they’ve never been fully integrated into a complete character because I just don’t think they’ve made the effort to understand mental illness and related drug abuse. There’s actually an interview of Steven Moffat describing Sherlock as “clinically insane”. The fundamental misunderstanding of what that means is why The Final Problem ultimately failed.

The appearance of the evil, secret sister telegraphed that we were heading into telenovela territory, and I wasn’t surprised by the contrivance of the Maze of Moral Abyss, all those macabre labours for Sherlock, John and Mycroft to perform – a steroidal re-hash of The Great Game. It was like something out of a 90s action film – The Rock meets Die Hard With a Vengeance, and I watched it as such. I half expected Bruce Willis or some other 90s throwback to come bounding in, armed to the teeth, start flinging grenades and just command them to shoot their way out. Even so, The Final Problem was the best of the three episodes this season – at least them spending nearly the entire episode at Sherrinford meant that it was cohesive tonally. I still don’t quite know what to make of them choosing to ground the entire plot – all those games, all those deaths – in Eurus’s cry for help. It is possible to humanise a psychopath within the constraints of their diagnosis. They have inner lives that aren’t limited to the monstrous, but they’re not like us – the emo play is always a loser – you can only out-manipulate them. They have an internally consistent view of the world, and once you understand the rules they follow, you can predict their behaviour and outflank them (it’s the basis of criminal profiling), but you have to empathise with them. Do you see how understanding all that not only helps with characterisation but buttresses the plotting and would have avoided the anti-climax of the ending? Answering the question: “What does Eurus really want?” then having Sherlock, John and Mycroft connive a way to give it to her would have been much more interesting.

The obvious pop cultural point of connection with The Final Problem is The Silence of the Lambs. We all were drawn to Hannibal Lecter – we couldn’t help liking him and felt conflicted about it. At the end of the film when Clarice says she knows he won’t come after her because he would consider it “rude” – now that’s interesting. What is Eurus’s “That would be rude”? My inability to answer that question gets to the heart of my problem with Sherlock – I don’t feel like I understand any of the characters or what is motivating them. Superimposing the tropes of storytelling onto the episodes and trying to read between the lines is the only way to make sense of them. They’ve been building to this Eurus confrontation for literally half a decade, and it still fell flat. They gave her whole backstory, and I still don’t understand her. By way of comparison, The Silence of the Lambs is 2 hours and 18 minutes long, and Anthony Hopkins appears on screen for only fifteen minutes, yet we all understood exactly who Hannibal Lecter was, what he was capable of, what he wanted and why. I’ll grant that The Silence of the Lambs is an unfairly high bar, but it provided a clear blueprint for the complex, charismatic, psychopathic serial killer pulling the strings. At the end of The Final Problem, Moftiss asks us to believe that the answer to Eurus’s “problem” was the love of her family. She obviously coveted Sherlock’s attention enough to murder poor Victor Trevor and set her elaborate stage, but anyone who understands even the basic contours of her psychology knows her shaking and crying in a burnt out house and needing a hug from her brother isn’t how that story ends.

I seriously wonder how much better Sherlock would have turned out if at some point in the last 5 years Moftiss had just googled Cluster B Personality Disorders and spent a few days boning up. They wouldn’t have made such a hash of Mary, and Eurus wouldn’t have been “Female Moriarty Who Lost Her Bottle in the End” – utterly anticlimactic. Or did they do the research, but they just couldn’t give a woman the minerals to be a proper villain?

To be clear: I wouldn’t have many of the complaints I’ve laid out if I hadn’t constantly been told Sherlock is the cleverest show on television. It’s not. It never was. The plotting of the first two seasons got it pretty close to being included in that conversation, but it’s no The Sopranos, no The Wire, no Mad Men. At this point, I’d say any workmanlike police procedural has it beat, hands down. Remember all those arguments about which was the better show, Elementary or Sherlock? Well, Elementary won. And that unsexy police procedural structure is why. The show has an identity, a solid foundation – it’s consistent. Moftiss can’t seem to decide what Sherlock is about, and that’s why so much of Season 4 felt like lurching in and out of a Jason Statham film, a Masterpiece Theatre offering and a Lifetime movie. At least The Final Problem managed to break that pattern. It was essentially the Sherlock Holmes origin story, and it took us back to the ancestral home, back to the first tragedy. Even just visually, we were clearly in Skyfall, which shows that Ralph Jones picked up exactly what Moftiss were putting down when he called them out on the “James Bonding” of Sherlock. (The literary beef that ensued was entertaining, and Jones bodied Gatiss with “The Second Letter” – the cipher in the cipher was the mortal wound.)

The argument about the Bonding of the franchise was really about a lack of depth – the flash of fight sequences over the substance of watching a precise but troubled mind at work – and Jones clearly made a valid point. Gatiss shooting back that Sherlock being a BAMF is canon didn’t address the heart of the criticism. I think the Daniel Craig Bond films are much better than anything on offer in post-Season 2 Sherlock. Even with all the camp, sneering baddies and always slightly ridiculous plots, they never got anywhere near anything as radioactively, intergalactically idiotic as “That was surgery.” In a Bond film, when someone is shot in the chest at close range, it’s TO SHOOT THEM IN THE CHEST SO THEY STOP EXISTING. If they manage to survive, it’s a bit of a turn-up. Guns and bullets don’t magically become surgical implements. Yet Sherlock used this physics-defying rebuke of basic human anatomy to convince intelligent, educated people to go along with the rehabilitation of Mary Watson (why they chose to make her silly storyline so important is baffling). They then doubled down on that narrative in The Six Thatchers, piling on a barrage of action that was essentially extraneous to the story. All to get us to the moment in the aquarium where Mary dives in front of a bullet to save Sherlock, who for some unfathomable reason decided to talk over any attempts to pacify Norbury and all but commanded her to shoot him. Then Mary was kind of a ghost but not really. Then they introduced a long-lost evil sister and an island prison. Do all that if you want; just don’t insult my intelligence by smugly telling me it’s clever then hide behind Arthur Conan Doyle’s skirts when you get called out on it. If from the beginning Moftiss had just owned up to having wanted to write a glossy, slightly absurd, mainstream actioner with soliloquizing villains, I would have gladly gone along with it. But I’ve continuously been told I’m watching The Usual Suspects or some other complex thriller with a sense of humour when it’s clear I’m watching Bad Boys 2 with British accents. Again: that’s fine in the name of pure entertainment; just know that insisting it’s clever feels like a straight-up troll. At some point all the cognitive dissonance had to become too much to bear.

So what’s the result of all this?

The fanfiction is better.

Even relatively inexperienced fanfic writers with a limited set of tools at least attempted to flesh out the characters and give them backstories and lives, fully formed personalities. It didn’t always work, but the effort was appreciated. The superstars of the genre used the hiatus to write stories that surpassed anything Moftiss gave us in Season 4, particularly in terms of character development. When characters’ motivations drive the plot, the story is not only more cohesive narratively, it’s more engaging and lasting because all the shocks and gasps are earned and move beyond cheap manipulation for the sake of entertainment. At the heart of the narrative success of the top-tier fanfiction is empathy. The writers got inside the characters’ heads and asked, “Who are these people? Where are they from? What experiences shaped them? What do they want? What are they afraid of? Whom do they love?” Moftiss seemed to reverse engineer everyone’s behaviour and emotional reactions by working backwards from the plot – everyone is just there to be manipulated, to be made to speak or act because the plot demands it, so those questions can’t really be answered. That labyrinth Eurus runs Sherlock, John and Mycroft through is a microcosm of the entire franchise. If I didn’t read fanfiction, maybe I could have gone along for the ride with Moftiss, but I knew there were fully realised characters out there whose hurt wasn’t manufactured, whose choices mattered beyond setting up a gag or a plot twist, who were protagonists in their own lives no matter how small their roles were.

Not even Sherlock escapes this poor treatment.

Here’s what exactly none of the plot-driven, post-Season 3 Sherlock fanfiction I’ve read failed to consider: Sherlock dealing with the fallout of having been captured and tortured in Serbia then being shot by Mary. Do you know why they all went there? Because being the victim of that kind of brutal violence tends to affect people psychologically, and those effects ripple into the lives of their friends and family. But in Moftiss Land, Sherlock being chained and beaten at the opening of the third season was just there so we could watch Mycroft crack wise while wearing a fur hat. Mary shooting him was meant to “Red Wedding” us, nothing more. There were no lingering physical or psychological effects from Sherlock having been tortured. It’s never come up again, not even as an aside. Really think about that and what it means about the quality of the writing, about the depth of the characterisation, about the empathy being deployed towards the eponymous hero. Sherlock is obviously the character Moftiss hold in the highest esteem, but Season 3 proved Sherlock is just a prop to them – their most beloved prop but still just a thing, a toy. The only real narrative through lines in Sherlock are the twists, and they’re the only elements that aren’t played right on the surface. Everything else is meant to be taken at face value. There is no subtlety, no subtext. There are Easter eggs and other markers laid down mostly for plot payoffs – a puzzle to solve – but no emotional depth, no narrative consistency. Sherlock is and always has been elementary – there were just too few episodes for most of us to suss it out sooner.

A few people saw through all the flash of Sherlock from the very beginning, and I tip my hat to them for being far more perceptive than I. (If they’re running around being insufferable and shouting, “I told you so!” they’ve more than earned the right.) The first two seasons were a fresh, shiny new take on the somewhat musty image of the great detective, and we all got to watch Benedict Cumberbatch take command and come into his own. But the real reason those early episodes were of such a higher quality was the low budgets: they handcuffed Moftiss. They couldn’t get all the helicopters, Aston Martins and rappelling super soldiers on their juvenile wish list, so the plot twists actually had to be interesting not just turned up to eleven. We all mistakenly assumed that character development that would match the level of the plotting would come later. What those early critics of Sherlock understood (and what has come to pass) was that the reverse would happen: the plotting would sink to meet the level of the poor characterisation. What most of us took for slight faux pas we could overlook, they realised were portents of the slide in quality we’ve all witnessed. They knew Moftiss weren’t to be trusted to dock the ship, and they were absolutely right. Once Moftiss were truly given free rein, the true heart of Sherlock was revealed, and it’s just confused but lacks the self-awareness to realise or do anything about it.

Being “the smart kids” is part of the hardcore Sherlock fandom’s identity, and I don’t see many of them being able to admit that Moftiss bamboozled them. (We all got took, guys.) The capricious characterisation, careening plot and disjointed editing have thus far been interpreted as intentional, as Moftiss hiding the ball, as further evidence of their diabolical cleverness – all the incoherence taken as a collection of hidden clues to be thoroughly investigated. Even though Season 3 made it clear the story was spinning out of control and Season 4 has seen it hurl itself off a cliff (but only just miss smashing its head on the rocks), much of the earnest analysis will likely continue. Many of the casuals are in it for the slick deductions and probably embraced all the high-octane thrills. (There will be an inevitable backlash, though – you can’t fool all the people all the time.) The excellent ratings of Season 4 mean the bean counters will want a Season 5, or at the very least more Christmas Specials. Enough of the audience is probably still on board to justify it financially. I can only hope Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman have enough sense to withhold their participation. The Final Problem wasn’t the unmitigated disaster I was expecting, but everything from Season 3 onwards has made it clear the show can’t live up to its early potential and that the problems with the storytelling are baked in. So, it’s best this latest Sherlock Holmes incarnation just come to a close before it becomes a career-devouring black hole.

Thank goodness the fanfiction provides someplace the characters can live on.

  Fics to Cleanse the Palate

TRUTH MAY VARY by @amalnahurriyeh

Seven years after Sherlock's death, John's life is normal.

And then it isn't.

I don’t usually rec incomplete work, but this is close enough to being done to be satisfying. If Season 3 onward had shown even a fraction of the emotional maturity of this story, we would be in a very different place.

Read on AO3.

 STRAIGHT BOY PAIN by @glenmoresparks

Sherlock is in pain. Billy Kinkaid, the Camden garrotter and best man Sherlock knows, diagnoses it. Ademar Silver, a male prostitute in south London, attempts to treat it. Lestrade, kindly Detective Inspector of New Scotland Yard, doesn’t notice it. Eventually, John Watson, healer and registered medical doctor, cures it.

And a beautician called Penny paints Sherlock’s toenails.

Read on AO3.

 FAN MAIL by @scullyseviltwin

“WatsonChick143 has been rather maniacal in her commenting as of late... she’s left comments on everything you’ve posted John, something so obvious can’t have escaped even your attention."

A fan of John’s blog graduates into stalking.

Read on AO3.

 THE YELLOW POPPIES by @silentauroriamthereal

Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

Read on AO3.

And in an act of shameless self-promotion:

BEFORE HOLMES MET WATSON by Meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What does it mean to be a detective with no cases to solve? Sherlock Holmes tries not to ponder this question as he distracts himself from his professional failings with bare-knuckle boxing at an underground fight club and vials of cocaine and morphine. John Watson spends his days in an operating theatre on an Army base in Afghanistan, doing his best to patch up the wounded and failing more often than he'd like. The dark, violent worlds in which both men choose to live complicate their romantic lives and cause them terrible suffering but set them on paths that are destined to cross.

Read on Wattpad or Tablo OR download the Ebook on my website.

I’m always looking for recs, so PLEASE ADD A FIC YOU THINK ISN’T GETTING ENOUGH LOVE.

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

You might not be answering since this is from a bit of an old post. Swooping Evil, Glumbumble, pixie, mooncalf and ghoul.

Okay, so first off, THANK YOU lovely anon for sending me this!!!! I love getting asks! And also THANK YOU for actually scrolling back through my blog to even see this! Cause like this is from a while ago! So this is from this Harry Potter Magical Creature Themed Ask. Alright, so here we go!

Swooping Evil: In what way are you often misunderstood?

Hmmm, I feel like I like to think that I’m just an incredibly misunderstood person *sigh* but honestly, I don’t know if that’s just me being overdramatic or if that’s actually true lol.  

I’m often misunderstood by people who don’t realize that I’m being sarcastic, which is actually quite unfortunate because it causes a lot of problems.  

Like, apparently I look like someone who’s very sincere/innocent (or so I’ve been told) and I come across as kind of shy and sweet (lmao I know) especially to people that I’m not close with.  And, I have a very wry sense of humor, like my sarcasm is pretty subtle/dry and I say it pretty straight-faced, and I feel like my sense of humor is a bit more sophisticated/subtle (that’s what one of my therapists told me anyway) and so people don’t always get whatever joke I’m making, and then on top of that, they think I’m this sweet little goody-two-shoes innocent thing who is Sincere™ and all that, so they get all taken aback when I’m sarcastic.  They either think they’ve severely offended me or they think I’m being a bitch or they just feel incredibly uncomfortable because they think I’m being honest.

And then of course, I always make everything considerably more awkward and ten times worse by trying to explain my joke and proceeding to talk myself into a giant hole (thanks anxiety).

So, an example of this is how when I was 14 I had surgery on my neck/throat and for several years I had a pretty noticeable scar across my throat.  And I used to be super self conscious about it, so I’d try to joke about it anytime someone commented on it.  So whenever someone asked me what the scar on my neck was, I’d look them straight in the eye and be totally nonchalant/casual and say something like “oh I got into a knife fight but it’s fine you should see the other person” or “I was kidnapped and held hostage at gun–well technically knife–point, but like it’s fine ‘cause the police killed the guy in a shootout so it’s all good.”  

And let me put this in perspective, I was literally the most innocent 14 year old ever.  Like, I went to an all girls school, I wore bows in my hair pretty much every day, I never wore makeup, my entire wardrobe was pink, I was a total goody two shoes, I never understood any innuendo or dirty jokes, I didn’t even know let alone talk to any boys, and I didn’t swear.  Like, I was so innocent (see the photo below of 14 year old me for reference)

So it was so completely outlandish/absurd because there was no way it was true.  So I’d say that as a joke because lmao have you seen me?  But like, so many people legitimately believed me and got all freaked out.  And eventually I told them I was being sarcastic, but it was always fun to see how fucking gullible some idiots were lol.

So yeah, my humor is often misunderstood.  And that example’s pretty innocuous but other times my sarcasm has actually caused legit problems, like with people getting mad at me (one of my teammates and former roommates got offended by something I said (though she never told me what it was specifically I did to offend her so much, but I’m assuming it was something I said sarcastically that she didn’t understand and just assumed was me being rude because in all honesty I’m pretty nice to people and I go above and beyond out of my way to make sure that I don’t ever say anything offensive or that could hurt people’s feelings (since I’m an oversensitive bitch who obsessively overthinks/freaks out/worries/gets hurt by about absolutely everything, I figure that other people might be that way too so I should do my best not to hurt them (and then of course my anxiety + overthinking leads to me being overly cautious not to hurt people’s feelings or say insensitive things))) and refused to talk to me or even acknowledge my existence for almost five months, which was actually a really big fucking pain in the ass because we saw each other literally every day and there are only 15 people on the team but whatever).  Wow that was long, lol sorry

Glumbumble: What’s something that makes you really melancholy?

A lot of things lol.  I mean, I have a shit ton of mental illnesses/disorders, BPD and depression included, so I spend a lot of time being pretty melancholy lol.  Like stupid little things trigger me.  Though I guess being melancholy is different than being/feeling depressed, but honestly, I can’t really tell the difference.  Because I don’t really just get a little bit sad/melancholy.  I get severely depressed.  I don’t experience any small emotions, everything for me is turned way up to the extreme (thank you BPD you fucking bitch).  I don’t feel things a little bit, or halfway.  Everything is intense.  So like, if being melancholy is different than being depressed, assuming it’s less intense, then I don’t really know what it’s like because I don’t really experience it.  When I’m sad, I don’t just feel melancholy/blue, I feel catatonically depressed and suicidal.  So yeah.  Sorry that doesn’t really answer that and that was probably waaaaay TMI.

Pixie: Do you like play tricks on people?

Not really.  I mean, with my roommate/(former)best friend I always loved to sneak up on her and jump out at her.  But honestly, I only did that because she legit screamed and fell out of her chair every single fucking time.  And it was hilarious.  But other than that, nah I’m not really a trick playing kind of person.  Like, I’ll be sarcastic and play tricks on one or two of my friends by pretending that we had an assignment/test that day.  But really, I only did that with one or two specific people and it was a joke that we always had because they never paid attention in class and always asked me what the homework was and saved everything until last minute and was just all around super lazy. 

Mooncalf: How adorable are you?

Well.  Here’s the thing.  When I was a child I was absolutely adorable.  Like 100% adorable, most likely the cutest child in the room. And like, not just cute looking, but apparently I was super friendly/bubbly/happy/cuddly/sweet/etc. (I say apparently because I can’t fucking remember being that way, hell I can’t even remember the majority of my childhood but that’s a whole other story, but that’s what I’ve been told by all the adults who knew me as a kid).  And also, I said/did super cute things and I loved the color pink more than life and always wore bows in my hair.  Like I’m not joking I was the fucking most adorable thing ever.  (lol I don’t know what happened)

Allow me to prove this point.  

Now please forgive me for posting so many pictures, but I like to reminisce about the fact that once upon a time I was actually cute. Like, I honestly don’t know what happened.

As for now, my current level of adorableness is in the eye of the beholder.  So basically, to some, perhaps I am adorable but it truly is a question of taste lol.  

Aesthetically/physically, I don’t think I am even remotely adorable. Personally, I actually think I’m pretty ugly to be honest (years of self hatred and mental illness tend to do that to you).  But I guess to other people I’m probably not absolutely hideous or anything.  As for general adorableness, it depends who you ask.  So like, to some people perhaps my quirks/oddities are adorable but to other people I’m just crazy as fuck.  I personally of the opinion that I am a complete and total loser lol.

I still love pink.  And I still like wearing bows/flowers in my hair.  I also have this pink piggy hat that I got in middle school that I wear during the winter (my friends all make fun of me so much, but honestly I think the hat is fucking adorable and it’s warm and I don’t care if I look stupid) So on that front, maybe I’m adorable to some people.  But it could just as easily be seen as childish and stupid.  

Now I have some…erm...quirks that could maybe possibly be seen as adorable in some instances.  Like I have this ridiculous thing where I snort when I laugh.  I personally find it unbelievably unfortunate and unattractive but several of my friends have told me it’s endearing and that the boy that falls in love with me (lol let’s be real, that’s never going to happen) will think it’s absolutely adorable.  I also make the most ridiculous little cat squeaking/squealing noises when I get hurt or am surprised or when I fall down (same with the unfortunate laugh; I personally think it’s embarrassing and unattractive like no other, but I have friends who disagree).  Which is another thing, I’m clumsy AF.  I trip and stumble and fall a lot.  I am personally of the opinion that that’s not even remotely cute, but some people have said that it’s cute/endearing.  

I also get really really really distracted by fluffy animals (dogs especially) and will literally stop talking mid conversation to point out a squirrel and go say hi to it (I’m legit like the dog from UP), and I must pet every single dog/cat I see.  And I will legitimately have extensive in depth conversations with dogs (I worked as a dog walker over the summer, and one time I accidentally butt-dialed my mom and left her a four and a half minute voicemail of me talking to the dog I was walking lmao)

And I get super enthusiastic about things.  And when I’m excited I absolutely lose my shit.  Like I get so excited I squeal and jump up and down and talk at 10,000 words a minute.  When I smile when I’m super happy, I legit look like a fucking chipmunk (I’ve been told this by numerous people on numerous occasions).  Sometimes when I’m super excited I get so hyper and I do a little excited happy dance and hop up and down and wave my arms because I can’t contain my excitement.

I have this awful habit of always singing/humming under my breath because I always have songs stuck in my head.  And I literally cannot stop myself from singing along to songs that I like.  Also I have a really good memory for song lyrics and lines/quotes, and whenever someone says something that happens to be a line from a song, I literally cannot stop myself from bursting into song and singing the song that they inadvertently quoted. (I have a particularly large repertoire of songs from broadway musicals).  And I love different accents and dialects and stuff and I do them all the time, and sometimes I don’t realize that I’ve accidentally switched into some other accent mid sentence.

Basically, I’m a lot like a small child.  So if you find that endearing, then you might think I’m adorable.  But if not, lol I’m a fucking crazy loser.  Anyways, here are some pictures from the past couple years, so you can judge yourself whether or not you think I’m adorable.  As I said before, I personally am of the opinion that I am a massive nerd and I am unbelievably uncool and I literally have zero social skills and I am weird as fuck and the definition of a loser.  But you can judge for yourself.

(me pretending to be all edgy and cool with my fake tat sleeve at my high school graduation party but I’m legit wearing a fucking flower crown so...)

(for no other reason than the fact that I wanted to climb a tree)

(btw all this money is from a fundraiser for the community service club, which I was co-president of, and my friend and I were counting it to see how much we raised)

Wow that was fucking long.  Sorry about that lol

Ghoul: Is there something you do that really annoys people?

Oh definitely.  I’m pretty sure that I’m a highly annoying person.  Hell I annoy the crap out of myself most days.  But the first thing that comes to mind is my ridiculously deep sleep and subsequent alarm clock paranoia.  That has driven all of my past roommates nuts.  Basically, I am always in a state of severe sleep deprivation because I spend waaaaayyy too much time doing my work (I’m a perfectionist + I have ADHD + OCPD + a learning disability + lots of other super fun psychiatric disorders which means that basically I don’t fucking sleep).  And when I finally do sleep, I pass the fuck out.  Like I’ll legitimately sleep for 32 hours straight (yes I know that’s not even remotely healthy).  And the problem is that some of the medications I take make it so that I cannot sleep.  So I have to take another medication so that I can actually sleep.  But it knocks me the fuck out, and it makes it really hard to wake up.  And the problem is that I have shit I need to wake up for, like classes, team practice, or because I have a shit ton of work to do.  And I know that I’m a super heavy sleeper and I get soooo paranoid about sleeping through my alarms and missing classes/other things I need to go to (it’s happened a lot) so I set literally over 70 different alarms on my phone for when I need to wake up.  I’ll start the alarms about an hour before I need to get up and have one every ten minutes, and then once it gets closer to the time that I need to wake up, I have an alarm literally every other minute.  And I literally keep the alarms going for hours and hours after the time I’m supposed to wake up in case I totally slept through the first set(s) (it’s happened).  And because I’m so terrified of sleeping through things, I tend to just not sleep, which of course makes it worse when I finally do sleep.

Basically where I’m going with this is that I am a fucking pain in the fucking ass. I sleep through my alarms and literally don’t even budge and they just keep going off for hours.  Yeah.  It’s not good.  I know it’s a problem.  My roommate last year, who was also my best friend, would bring out her angry man voice when my alarms started going off.  Her voice would go all low and super angry and she’d say my name really loudly and I swear that would wake me up like nothing else because I was fucking terrified of her.  She’d bark out my name and I’d instantly wake up and start apologizing while wildly fumbling to shut off the alarms (and then of course I’d fall back asleep the second I turned a bunch of them off and have no memory of this whatsoever because I wasn’t actually awake it was just like an unconscious stress response to her man voice and then this would happen again a few hours later when my alarms went off again).  And I always apologized to her so much over this, and we’d laugh about it (when neither of us were trying to sleep) and about how her grouchy/angry man voice is so low and how I’m legitimately terrified of it.  Plus she did tons of really annoying/bad shit as a roommate so she couldn’t get too mad at me.  She more just got grouchy when she was trying to sleep, which is totally understandable.  Plus I know I’m beyond annoying like that, and I feel awful about it, but it’s a medical problem and I can’t really help it, but I am working on it so :/

Wow this was crazy long and way more information than anyone wanted to hear, and frankly, I doubt anyone will even read this (which makes it even more absurd that I spent so fucking long writing this but whatever).  

Anyways thank you for sending me this ask and sorry for taking a while to answer it and for also giving waaaaaaaaaaaay TMI on it.  I hope you have a lovely day!

Lots of love,-Lia

[ihaveatheoryonthat]

Wound up doing the extended zodiac quiz this morning, and immediately extended it to the Mystery Kids crossover. This gets long because I like to cite direct information, so it’s going under a cut.

Raz was first, because he’s the character I understand the best out of the cast. For him, I’m torn between Aquarist (violet, prospit, time) and Aquius (violet, prospit, breath). I’m leaning a bit toward Aquarist.

Violet:

“Violets built their own drum, and it's probably weird.”

Natural weirdness, but also contrarians

“Personable and outlandish”

“Ready to make friends with anyone“

“Hard time holding their tempers, [if they are] belittled or ignored.”

“An intellectual connection is necessary for them to be attracted to a prospective partner.“

Bonus: violet has the “Aqua” prefix

Prospit dreamer

“Flexible optimism”, “reactive and intuitive”

Exist in present, not future or past

React based on instinct and emotion

“Quick to act and reliable in a crisis“

“Can make them capricious”

Solve problems creatively, see multiple solutions

Possible aspect 1: Time

“They are fundamentally incapable of accepting things as they come.“

Act over accepting something

“even if that may not be the wisest or safest choice”

Goal-oriented

“you won't find them making that journey in any traditional sort of way.“

“If you need a miracle, they are who you call.“

“Empathetic and relentless problem solvers” at best

“Ruthless, defensive and impulsive” at worst.

Possible aspect 2: Breath

“Flexible and driven”, “leave an impact wherever they go“

“Sweep others up to carry along in their wake”

“Can be difficult to catch hold of or tie down“

“Often, heroism comes along as an offshoot of them pursuing their own personal stories.“

“Motivated, adaptable and forward thinking” at best

“Volatile, avoidant and gullible” at worst

Lili was the logical progression, and I’m thinking Capricen (purple, derse, blood), but wouldn’t rule out Capriza (purple, derse, mind)

Purple:

“Ambitious and driven”

“They have a very specific path in mind“

“If their practical brains convince them that their goal is unrealistic, they may be slow to trust anyone with the secret of their true desires.”

Funny, but “dryly macabre”

“People who will say [...] what everyone else was thinking”

Stubborn, difficult to dissuade once they’ve made up their mind

Trouble admitting they were wrong and/or upset

“In love they tend to be strictly monogamous and fiercely devoted, ready to pledge themselves to a person the same way they do their goals-utterly, and without reservation. “

Derse dreamer

“Personality marked by a distinct and restless skepticism. Whatever their waking circumstances, chances are they will live in a state of dissatisfaction.“

Identity built on control, “will do their utmost to hide any insecurities“

“Inflexible and pessimistic, but [...] great problem solvers”

“Facing conflicts head-on with shrewd, calculating minds”

“Find sincere vulnerability difficult“

“will often keep people at arm's length“

“constantly look toward the future and analyze the past.”

Possible aspect 1: Blood

“Draw their strength from bonds“

“trust and camaraderie that blooms among a group of people who all share a single vision”

“Blood-bound are absolutely leaders”

“They are prophets, rather than generals“

“Giving others the strength and motivation to keep fighting.“

Give great advice, “even when their own lives and interpersonal relationships are disasters.“

“Charismatic, uplifting and magnetic” at best

“Sullen, unkind and set-in-their-ways” at worst

Possible aspect 2: Mind

“Universe’s great thinkers”, “But don't for a second think that means that they have all the answers.“

“when a Mind-bound finally launches into action, they can execute a plan with unbelievable grace and precision“

Emphasis on being logical

“Innovators, architects, creators” at best

“Nasty, inflexible, indecisive” at worst

Mabel is next, and I’m pretty sure Libinus (teal, prospit, hope) is best for her, but stopped to consider Liblo (teal, prospit, heart).

Teal: Libra/late August birthday. As dictated by the twin’s canonical birthday, I didn’t choose this so much as highlight how it could fit.

“Natural charmers”, “social and flirtatious”

“Great at parties and public speaking events.“

“Strong moral sense”, “right and wrong are very obvious”

“It can frustrate them that others don't see the world the same way they do.“

“Idealism can make them strong defenders of justice“

“Can also result in them being incredibly let down.“

“They can be gullible and too quick to trust.”

“They have vibrant imaginations, and enjoy fiction and roleplaying“

“Often those games will resemble the lives they want“

“Have a tendency to get involved with people who are very obviously wrong for them out of a desire not to be alone.”

Prospit dreamer

“Flexible optimism”, “reactive and intuitive”

“They have trouble thinking things through, and their feelings toward specific situations and decisions can change from day to day.“

“They solve problems with creativity rather than cold logic, often seeing multiple options with ease and clarity.

“Naturally trusting, they have trouble with deception or hiding their true selves, and will often worry about what others think of them. The self they project into the world is often not under their control.”

Possible aspect 1: Hope

“They do right for right's sake“

“what they see as the "right" thing may not always be the universally accepted view.”

“Put great value in the power of the imagination“

“ability to dream up a better and more beautiful future“

“If anyone could dream a better world into existence, it would be one of the Hope-bound.“

“Aren't adverse to a little destruction”

“especially if they think they can replace it with something better and more just“

“Positive, caring and warm” at best

“Narrow-minded and selfish” at worst.

Possible aspect 2: Heart

Very concerned with themselves

“Forging an identity is extremely important“

“every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story.“

“Competent, imaginative and steady” at best.

“Overbearing, inflexible and cold” at worst

Dipper I don’t understand quite as well as Mabel, but I’m pretty sure he’d be Lipia (teal, derse, light), or, less likely, Libza (teal, derse, mind).

Teal: Libra/late August birthday. As dictated by the twin’s canonical birthday, I didn’t choose this so much as highlight how it could fit.

“Right and wrong are very obvious to [them]”

“It can frustrate them that others don't see the world the same way they do.“

“Their strict adherence to procedure can lead to errors in judgement“

“they can be gullible and too quick to trust.”

“They have vibrant imaginations, and enjoy fiction and roleplaying“

“Often long for a hero, someone they can idolize and count on, with the smarts and charisma to keep up with them.“

“Unfortunately, they have a tendency to get involved with people who are very obviously wrong for them“

Derse dreamer

“marked by a distinct and restless skepticism.“

“cerebral and self-aware”

Understand self better than world around them “which they can find alienating and confusing.“

“Identity is built on control”

“will do their utmost to hide any insecurities, often with false humility or self-deprecating humor.“

“but they are also great problem solvers, facing conflicts head-on with shrewd, calculating minds.“

“Tend to be introverted”

“they find sincere vulnerability difficult and will often keep people at arm's length.“

“Letting go and living in the moment is hard for a Derse Dreamer; they constantly look toward the future and analyze the past.”

Possible aspect 1: Light

“Above all, driven to learn and understand.“

“Scholars and researchers”

“Dedicated to knowledge for knowledge's sake.“

“Will go after knowledge with a fierce intensity that others may find distasteful.”

“Aren't overly concerned with laws or norms, either.

“Often take rules as simple suggestions, [...] searching for loopholes or work-arounds.”

“Resourceful and driven” at best

“Fussy, pedantic and insensitive” at worst.

Possible aspect 2: Mind

“Don't for a second think that means that they have all the answers.”

“Very concerned with remaining rational“

“Easy for them to see the multitudes of the choices laid out before them, which often leaves them frozen and unable to act.“

“Remaining logical is more important to them than building up a solid foundation of "self."“

“Innovators, architects and creators” at best

“Nasty, inflexible and indecisive” at worst.

Norman I’m also torn on, pretty evenly between Piga (fuchsia, derse, space) and Pittarius (fuchsia, derse, void). I was also considering Pimini (fuchsia, derse, doom).

Fuchsia:

“Strong imagination”

“They have an otherworldly quality to them that draws others in.“

“Has more to do with what they don't tell you“

“[have] an air of mystery that would [...] perplex [them] if you told them”

“They aren't usually trying to be alluring-they're just lost in thought.”

“Sensitive and anxious”

“spend a lot of time worrying-about the world, the future, and what others think of them.“

Derse dreamer

“Marked by a distinct and restless skepticism.“

“Cerebral and self-aware”

Understand self better than world around them “which they can find alienating and confusing.“

Identity “built on control”

“do their utmost to hide any insecurities“

“self-deprecating humor.“

“Tend to be introverted”, “will often keep people at arm's length.“

“Constantly [...] analyze the past.”

Possible aspect 1: Space

“Patient”, “inclined to take things as they come”

“isn't to say that they're pushovers or willing to let injustice lie”

“choose their battles wisely”

“understanding that sometimes you have to let something burn to the ground in order to build it back better and stronger than before.”

“Concerned with creation and redemption”

“the journey is as, if not more, important than the destination; how they do something is as important as what they do.“

“Steady impartial and creative” at best

“Detached, apathetic and vague” at worst

Possible aspect 2: Void

“The universe’s secret keepers”

“The unknown doesn't scare them”

“Where others might see emptiness, they see potential.”

“Value mystery and the unexplained“

“Not particularly bothered by not having all the answers”

“In order for something new to be built, the old, rotting foundation must often be razed.”

“Wise, intuitive and vibrant” at best

“Dismissive, indecisive and apathetic” at worst.

Possible aspect 3: Doom

“Understand that misery loves company“

“Ready and willing to provide said company.“

“They are commiserators, aware that sometimes the only thing you can do for a person is let them know that they are not alone in their suffering.“

“Not the advice friend”, but the friend to vent to

“Wise, kind and non-judgemental” at best

“Bitter, resentful and fatalistic” at worst.

Coraline... I am not especially confident in my understanding of. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the movie, and am relying heavily on what I remember of her motivations/actions. That being said, I’m thinking she could be Airborn (rust, derse, rage), Arittarius (rust, derse, void) or Arun (rust, derse, breath), though I think Ariborn is the most accurate, with my current understanding.

Rust:

“Adventure motivates Rust Signs more than anything“

“Crave new experiences, the wilder and farther-from-home, the better”

“They are confident and energetic, ready to face the unknown.“

“Makes them great leaders”, “can also make them foolhardy”

“Often, they don't posses the level of caution they should for someone so willing to jump into new things.“

“Their willingness to trust can get them into trouble, but they are also incredibly resilient. Their ability to bounce back from trauma and injury leaves them as the toughest sign class on the spectrum.”

“Make great friends and traveling companions, but they also can be selfish and quick to anger.“

“If what they deem to be an acceptable level of "excitement" isn't happening around them, they have a tendency to try to stir some up.“

“If someone doesn't live up to these [standards], they may deem them not worth their time.“

Derse dreamer

“distinct and restless skepticism.“

“Whatever their waking circumstances, chances are they will live in a state of dissatisfaction.“

“Rebellion is in their blood”

“Will do their utmost to hide any insecurities”

“They may be inflexible and pessimistic, but they are also great problem solvers, facing conflicts head-on.”

“They see one true path among [the] wrong ones.”

“They find sincere vulnerability difficult and will often keep people at arm's length.“

Possible aspect 1: Rage

“Bringers of chaos”

“They posses great contempt for lies or false ideas, including the stability that false ideas can impart.“

“To them, the true is far more important than the good; they would tear down a system just to destabilize it if, by their reckoning, it is built on faulty premises.“

“Bringers of confusion and doubt, and [can be] difficult to convince otherwise when they have attached themselves to an idea.”

“Original, revolutionary and fearless” at best

“Cruel, uncompromising and vicious” at worst

Possible aspect 2: Void

“unknown doesn't scare them“

“where others might see emptiness, they see potential. A blank page, an empty canvas, that's what the Void-bound live for.“

“Where others might be compelled to go out and seek answers, the Void-bound lean more toward casting doubt on what is already considered fully understood.”

“Wise, intuitive and vibrant” at best

“Dismissive, indecisive and apathetic” at worst.

Possible aspect 3: Breath

“Leaven an impact wherever they go”

“able to sweep others up to carry along in their wake,“

“Although Breath-bound do make very good leaders, breath tends to be a very personal aspect. Often, heroism comes along as an offshoot of them pursuing their own personal stories.“

“Motivated, adaptable and forward thinking” at best

“Volatile, avoidant and gullible” at worst.

I have no idea about Neil or Wybie since I haven’t seen either movie in ages, and don’t feel comfortable going by their fandom interpretations, lest I mischaracterize them.

[joshuazev]

On this date:

Derrick Rose is spending time away from the Cleveland Cavaliers for an indefinite period of time to reevaluate his future in basketball.  This is a guy who has had one of the more tragic careers that I can remember in my lifetime.  I wasn’t really “awake” for Grant Hill or Penny Hardaway.  I knew of their trajectories and how injuries derailed them, but I wasn’t very present when they were playing.  Derrick Rose I’ve seen first hand.  I used to sit at my mom’s house, look at the computer, and watch highlights of him in High School.  He was an athletic freak.  I could tell you which high school he went to and he wasn’t even in Seattle.  I could tell you he liked to wear baggy shorts.  I could tell you some of his best one on one matchups in high school.  Basketball aficionados alike follow his ascent very closely.  This was right in the midst of the one and done phenoms, which is still very much going on today (although not for long), and everyone suspected he would go to Memphis and leave immediately for the NBA.  He did.  After an unbelievable year under John Calipari playing for the Tigers and almost winning the NCAA Championship he declared for the draft and got selected by the Bulls.  Before we all knew it, he was posterizing people at the highest level there was, earning MVP awards and leading his team to the playoffs.  I know that everyone thinks they’ve seen singular talents—that is, until the next singular talent arrives.  D-Rose was singular.  He was everything Russell Westbrook was, but without the passion, essentially.  Make no mistake about it, D-Rose loved the game of basketball and was unbelievably passionate internally, but rarely showed it.  Just when we thought he might have been primed to get past LeBron in the Eastern Conference, he experienced an injury in the playoffs.  He had missed games earlier that year because of injury and when he went down in the playoffs it was when his team was up big with little time left in the fourth quarter.  Why was he in the game?  What if…  Since then, D-Rose has never been himself.  He’s a shell as they say.  And I feel for him as a person.  I really do because you can see it on his face, in his eyes, and during his interviews that outside of his family this is all he has.  I can’t remember someone in recent memory receiving as much scrutiny as D-Rose.  I understand why.  All of the people getting on him for not playing when the doctors had cleared him too.  “He should have been helping his team,” they said.  “He doesn’t know more than the doctors,” they said.  I think as fans we have to respect the players more.  We have to put ourselves in their shoes and try to understand what they’re going through.  We have to be empathetic.  I guess it’s hard to do that when these players are making so much money.  That somehow separates them from us.  D-Rose reminds me a lot of Kanye.  They also happen to both be from Chicago.  In Kanye’s case as well, a lot of people decide not to commiserate with him or try and sympathize with his “problems” and mental health challenges.  It’s the money thing again.  I don’t know Kanye, I’m just a loyal fan.  I think a lot of his “acting out” and “poor decision making” can be attributed to the death of his mother, the number one person in his corner, his livelihood, and his biggest fan.  Am I here saying that he deserves a pass on everything because of his mom’s passing?  No.  I do think it should give us pause.  Who are we to say what the window is and should be for “getting over” the absence of someone that was always present?  With D-Rose, I think there are a host of factors that go into his decisions to play, not play, and question his future in basketball.  I mean, this is someone who was used to being at the top since he was in high school (probably before).  He was 22 years old when won the MVP.  22 years old!!!  And with that great power, of course, came great responsibility and with that great responsibility came pressure that none of us could probably imagine.  I can’t even begin to fathom the hours that D-Rose put in all those years and all those offseason trying to recover and attempting to regain his form.  I bet that one year he “took off” he was probably battling himself like never before.  Probably telling himself that he wouldn’t step back on that floor until he was MVP level and I’ll bet he never played because he never felt like he got back there.  It’s such a long, painful, arduous process.  All the rehab, all the mental battles, all the proverbial hills you have to climb to return…only to get injured again.  And again.  And again.  And while it might not be priority number one, I’ll bet that D-Rose is purely cognizant of the remaining money left on his huge Adidas contract, but not in the way you make think.  The obvious thing is that that would be incentive for him to return so he could collect the rest of his earnings, but I’ll bet he would want to play again to do exactly that…earn his money.  You think these guys don’t hear all the bullshit that’s said about them.  They’ve found ways to brush it off and push forward, ways to be unaffected and/or let it fuel them, but it is my belief that even the most mentally strong are still affected.  Everything is compartmentalized.  Everyone’s got a well full of emotions packed deep, deep below.  For his sake, I hope D-Rose makes the decision that is best for him, whatever that may be.  At this point, I think everyone is on his side.  

…

Donald Trump does not operate his twitter account.  That’s my hot take for the week.  Why, some of you may ask?  Well, what do we know of Donald?  That he is stupid in incredibly innovative and very obvious ways.  He just turned down Times “Person of the Year” despite not being selected.  You see what I mean?  There is something missing.  I believe that Donald has several different mental disorders.  He is racist.  He is prejudiced.  He probably has ADD or ADHD.  I wouldn’t be surprised, but I digress.  We know of him to be erratic.  We know him to have a very poor grasp of public speaking, elocution, and forming complex thoughts.  Just complexly stupid thoughts.  There’s no limit to how stupid.  Jesus.  The point is that I can’t see someone like him being able to write a coherent tweet.  It might seem on the surface that he would write these things, but I just don’t think he’s the one doing it.  Maybe that’s what it is.  He like walks around and daydreams about the disgusting shit that flutters through his mind and he’s got like a right hand crony that he can relay his messages too.  Like he’s walking down the street and he sees a TV in some place that has a TV playing, so naturally his attention darts right to it, and he sees Lavar Ball, so he tells his crony, “LAVAR BALL!”  (Trump yells everything).  Then his crony relays his message back.  “Ok, we have Lavar Ball.”  Then Trump says, “Basketball!”  The crony says, “OK, Lavar Ball, basketball.”  Then Trump says, “BLACK.”  And it just goes like so until Trump has created a ridiculous string of string of consciousness thoughts that are manifested into insensitive and racist tweets about bullshit.  Because that’s what everything that comes out of his mouth in real life and on twitter is…bullshit.  Everyone knows how strategic it is to be tweeting the way he’s tweeting.  Every tweet diverts us from the more important things that aren’t being talked about as a result of the poop offerings from his mouth.  You wanna follow his bullshit?  Sometimes its easier not to and watch political satire shows on late night television.  It’ll save you time and unfortunately there are people at those networks whose job it is to sort through all the crap and give you the highlights.

His latest tweet highlight?  Well, as we know, Trump doesn’t seem to love non-white people.  He doesn’t particularly love black people.  Not particularly.  Lately, his focus has been on successful black people.  Namely: the black football players kneeling for that national anthem, Lavar Ball, Marshawn Lynch, Steph Curry.  For time’s sake, I’ll give you the cut and dry.  People shouldn’t disrespect the anthem.  It disrespects the military and the people who have fought for our country.  Trump no like.  Lavar Ball.  His son Gelo was arrested for shoplifting while his college basketball team was playing in China.  He faced a lengthy prison sentence because China has stricter penalties and punishments.  Gelo was released.  Trump wanted Lavar Ball to thank him.  Lavar didn’t.  Trump no like.  Marshawn Lynch, while his team (Oakland Raiders) was playing in Mexico City, decided not to stand for the US National Anthem but stand for the Mexican National Anthem.  Steph Curry basically spoke for the entire Warriors basketball team when he said that they wouldn’t be attending the White House as most champions often do.  Trump withdrew his invitation (even though they had no intention of going).  Trump no like.  

Now here’s the thing.  Some media guy brought this up and basically alluded to the fact that Trump targets athletes, specifically successful black athletes.  He summarized this in a tweet.  Trump’s twitter responded right back, “…Make America Great Again.”  

Yeah…

I leave you with a meme titled, “That moment you realize that Trump respects Turkeys more than women.”  Trump and his family are in front of some thanksgiving table with a turkey right in front of him and a caption that reads “Can I touch it?”

POTUS #45

[demitgibbs]

Demi Lovato Talks Gay Icons, Sexuality Rumors

Whether it’s knowing the already-established history of her sexuality or recalling that time a man had a very visible erection on stage as she performed, Demi Lovato appreciates Demi-schooled journalists.

“Thanks for doing your research,” the 25-year-old singer-actress tells me. “I really appreciate and respect that.”

Her warm send-off caps our frank exploration of queer topics, including the Disney alum’s desire to maintain an air of mystery regarding her own sexual orientation.

While promoting her sixth studio album, Tell Me You Love Me, Lovato talked artists who pander to the LGBT community, daddy issues and Mariah Carey, meanwhile thoroughly explaining her mindful decision to remain tight-lipped to the press about the gender of the person she’s dating.

Because many people will likely not have the opportunity to experience this, what is it like to perform at an NYC gay bar with gay porn playing and a man gyrating on a pole who very clearly has an erection?

(Laughs) You know what, it was very interesting. I wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on behind me, but it was definitely a first-time experience… and it will probably be the last. Actually, who knows? It might not be the last!

You weren’t paying attention to it? And by “it,” you know what I mean.

I definitely noticed it, but I was trying to perform!

It was being called one of the most cringe worthy stage invasions ever.

Yeah, it was pretty cringe worthy.

While we’re on the topic of wangs, tell me how the first thing out of your mouth while accepting the GLAAD Vanguard Award last year ended up being about Nick Jonas’ penis, when you said yours is bigger than his.

It was a joke that I was thinking about saying before I went on because I know that everyone in the audience was totally daydreaming about Nick.

WATCH:

Was it even more special to have Nick present the award to you?

It definitely meant something that it was being presented by somebody who has been very, very close to me for almost 10 years of my life, but also, it felt really amazing that I was being awarded by a whole community of people. I wasn’t seeking an award. I was just doing what is right. And people should be accepting of the LGBT community. It’s a no-brainer for me. So, defending and standing up for the LGBT community is something that I’ve always been fearless to do because it’s just the right thing to do.

You’ve headlined many Prides and you even filmed your video for 2013’s “Really Don’t Care” at LA Pride. What has been your most proud Pride moment?

I think my most proud Pride moment would be getting the Vanguard Award. It was just amazing. It was just a good really feeling and I was so honored to get that award.

When in your career were you first aware that you had an LGBT following?

I was aware at the very beginning because I came out with a song called “This Is Me” for a movie called Camp Rock (in 2008) and I had gay guys tell me, “This song helped me come out to my family because this song represents who I am.” That was when I was 15, and that was really beautiful to me and really unbelievable and powerful.

You have become a staunch advocate for the gay community. I bet your late, gay grandfather would be really proud of your LGBT activism. I love what you said about him in 2014 on Trailblazers, a Logo TV special honoring LGBT civil rights pioneers. How did he influence the way you grappled with your own sexuality?

He definitely influenced me a lot. I actually would not like to talk about it just because I feel like – I think I outed him, actually, to some relatives, so it’s kind of a sensitive subject.

You didn’t know he wasn’t out?

No, I had no idea.

How about other queer trailblazers that you’ve looked up to?

No – you know, I love who I love and I feel like I look at everybody who is outspoken about who they are as an inspiration and that’s it.

Your sexuality has been thoroughly dissected by the Internet after you alluded to being open to both genders. I want to give you the opportunity to speak on it as directly as you’d like.

Thank you for the opportunity, but I think I’m gonna pass.

“Cool for the Summer” became an anthem for people in the LGBT community, but AfterEllen, a lesbian pop-culture website, got the impression you were suggesting that same-sex intimacy has to be a secret. Was that message your intent and how would you respond to their feedback?

My intention with the song was just fun and bi-curiosity. I think people look at song lyrics – they look too into it. I wish I could tell that website to “chill the fuck out” and “take a break,” because it’s just a song.

I think we live in a world today where no matter what you do, you’re doing something wrong, whether it’s cultural appropriation or it’s being insensitive to certain groups of people. We just live in that age where everything we do is wrong and, unfortunately, everyone’s looking for a reason to have their voices heard, and sometimes it’s not always in the most positive way.

As someone who is an LGBT advocate, is there a reason you choose not to speak openly about your sexuality?

I just feel like everyone’s always looking for a headline and they always want their magazine or TV show or whatever to be the one to break what my sexuality is. I feel like it’s irrelevant to what my music is all about. I stand up for the things that I believe in and the things that I’m passionate about, but I like to keep my personal life as private as possible when it comes to dating and sexuality and all that stuff just because it has nothing to do with my music. Unfortunately, we live in a world where everyone is trying to get that soundbite and I am purposefully not giving the soundbite. Watch my documentary.

Oh?

I have a documentary coming out on October 12 (on YouTube called Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated) and I answer a lot of questions in my documentary.

About your sexuality?

Yeah, some about that. Because if ever I want to talk about it, I want it to be on my own terms.

WATCH:

Then can we talk about how the drag queens are about to be practicing every song from this album for their routines? Because you guest judged RuPaul’s Drag Race. You know drag. What performance advice do you have for a drag queen who wants to do your new song “Daddy Issues”?

Ohh, I was thinking that would be a fun song for drag! I think a lot of people can relate to the lyrics, so just relate to it and then pour your heart and soul out into it.

Is it important to have daddies on stage?

No, no, no. It’s actually coming from the point of view where it’s like, “I have daddy issues,” so you don’t have to dress as a daddy. I mean, you can if you want! (Laughs)

Do you have a desire to be a gay icon?

If it happens, amazing. I think sometimes people can abuse that opportunity by trying to win over the gay community. It’s something that if it happens, amazing, and I’m more than willing to be that for people. But I don’t go out trying to win over a certain community just so I can say that I have that fan base.

Have some singers tarnished the “gay icon” label?

No. Nobody has tarnished the label, but I’ve heard people say with certain people they are kind of using the fan base just get to that demographic. I never want my music to be for anyone. I want my music to stand up for them.

You don’t want to pander is what it seems you’re saying.

Yeah. I’ll never do that. If the gay community loves my music because they love it, then awesome.

When it comes to gay icons, the Chers, Madonnas and Gagas of the world, which do you most want to share the stage with?

I would love to share the stage with Gaga and Cher. I’d love to share the stage with RuPaul as well! I kind of did, but I want to perform with him.

How about Mariah?

(Laughs) You’re funny.

RELATED:

Even though you called her “nasty” for her J. Lo shade and her response when asked about you was “I don’t know her,” you both have GLAAD awards and I want to see you two kiss and make up and record a song together.

I think she’s got an incredible voice and, you know, yeah, I’d love to share the stage with her.

As someone who has overcome obstacles to be the sober, confident and empowered woman you are now, what would you tell a young, struggling LGBT person also trying to triumph over similar substance-abuse hurdles and body-image issues?

I think a lot of people drinking and using in the LGBTQ community has to do with finding their identity. The most important thing to know is that you are never going to find your identity through drugs and alcohol, so don’t even go there. You are not going to find the answers through drugs and alcohol.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/10/05/demi-lovato-talks-gay-icons-sexuality-rumors/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/166079621590