#*like not even picked like they're in dirt and everything so they won't die*

[icedmetaltea]

Goves you a flower crown cause you deserve something as beautiful as your soul~☆

YOU'RE SO SWEET WHAT

[1whore1gang]

it's the little things 🤍

This is part 4!!

Read parts 1-3 HERE

Warnings: more angst, I'm so sorry BUT BUT BUT theres sickeningly sweet fluff at the end so bare with me ;), cussing, emotions, mentions of SA

I tried to make this one longer bc i feel like part 1 was so good and then 2 and 3 kinda flopped so heres me trying to write more than I usually do.

Also, I'm surprised no one has noticed a small writing detail I did last chapter regarding Price. I'll do it again in this chapter to see if anyone can catch on hehehehe :)

EDIT: not me saying I wanted to attempt to make this as long as part one when part one was 2,437 words and this one ended up 4,314 words....oops

Taglist: @gaymistakeboi @batw3nch @thedevillovesflowers @almightywdm @ghostslittlegf @sketchyfandomgirl @under-the-dirt @clear-your-mind-and-dream @darkangel4121 @vreselia @llemes @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx

(sorry if i forgot anyone!!! please yell at me if I did!!)

"Stop that!" Your voice was almost begging as Soap kept grabbing at Ghost's little hoodie strings. Soap kept fighting with Ghost all day and you couldn't handle it anymore. You finally picked up Soap and put him alone in the playpen. "You're in time out."

He began to wail, making you shed tears of your own. You were exhausted from the three little boys. They'd been causing trouble lately and keeping you up all night this week.

Gaz looked up at you with a little toy car shoved halfway in his mouth, blinking innocently as Ghost continues to play with his blocks as he was before Soap grabbed him. "At least you two are giving me a break today." Soap continued to wail dramatically, not even crying, just wanting your attention.

Laswell had told you that he needed to learn that he's not the only one you take care of, so you sometimes have to leave him to cry it out on his own to teach him. She'd stopped by the other day to brief you on a new group of recruits.

She was definitely questioning why you of all people had your Captain's so-called 'nephews' and you had to think on your feet, but she didn't buy it.

"Tell me the truth, who's kids are these Y/N?" Her voice was in that motherly tone she had mastered with all of you.

"You wouldn't believe me." You said, trying to quiet Soap's crying, which led to her advice about letting him cry it out.

"If you're going to tell me they're yours, yeah I won't." She shook her head, becoming increasingly more annoyed with you.

"Promise you won't report me for drugs?"

"Depends."

You had told her everything about finding the boys like this, and she had to take some time to think it over until she noticed how Soap only plays with Ghost, and how Gaz keeps to himself and didn't cry once while she was there. She took a day before she texted you again telling you she was there if you needed any help.

That was 3 days ago, and you didn't want to bother her since she had taken over some of your duties since your hands were quite full.

You leaned against the foot of your bed as you finally heard Soap's cries die down, turning around to see he had tuckered himself out into a sleep. You took a couple of deep breaths, trying to dry your tears when you felt little hands on your feet.

You opened your eyes to see Gaz and Simon grabbing at your toes. They both sit down at your attention. You went to go move to see what they needed when Gaz gave you a goofy smile.

Smiling back, you swopped him up to your chest to rock him, almost thanking him for bringing a smile to your face. You heard the familiar little grunt from Simon as you looked at him.

His hand was just outstretched towards you with one of his little blocks, offering it to you. Laughing a little, you took it and noticed the letter on the block was your initial.

Your eyes went wide as you looked back at Simon. "You know...or do you?" The question was more for yourself than him. You knew Simon couldn't understand you, he was a baby, there's no way he could.

"Is this me?" You cooed, pointing to the block he gave you. He grunted in response. "There's no way." Was he actually coherent? Was your Simon in there, he just couldn't express properly? Or had little Simon heard your name enough times that he knew? You felt something wet on your neck and saw Gaz drooling, thanking the universe that two of the boys so far have gone down for a nap.

Setting him in the playpen, you return to Simon, wanting to see if there was any way you could find out if he was cognitively adult Simon. "Do you know what's going on?" Your voice was gentle and quiet. Watching adamantly, you waited for him to give you any reaction. "Simon?"

His wide eyes looked up at you, focused shifted from his toys. "Do you know?" He blinked a couple of times, then looked around the room. He grunted a couple of times before looking down at his blocks.

"Simon?" You said again sweetly. You watched as Simon's lip began to quiver as he looked over his blocks, he began to cry, grabbing at the blocks and then throwing one before beginning to cry. "Oh honey, I'm sorry."

He reached out for you and you picked him up, comforting him. "It's okay honey, I'm sorry." You could tell something had bothered him, but what?

He wasn't wailing or screaming, just a silent whine of a cry. Almost like he was sad or frustrated. "Are you mad at something?" You moved to where you could see his face, cradling him.

You watched his breathing catch in his chest at your question. You ran two of your fingers over his little chest, rubbing circles to calm him. "Breathe Simon, don't hold your breath on me. You're okay, work through the cry sweetheart."

Your touch immediately helped him take in a good sized breath. "That's it." You watched him slowly calm himself down as you shushed him and held him. "Did your blocks make you mad?"

He crawled out of your arms clumsily, the most movement you've seen from him. He threw another block, not aggressively or at anything, but at the ground. "Yeah? Do you not like your blocks?" You reached for another toy for him to play with but he grunted.

You snapped your attention back to him, "What's wrong? I wish you could tell me." You felt helpless. He clearly was distraught over something, and you had no way of knowing what was happening.

He stared down at his blocks again, breathing in huffs. He held one out to you after picking it out. It was a 'Y' block. "What does this mean? Does this mean you understand?" He grunts.

You feel tears sting your eyes. "You know..." He grunts again. "Oh my God!!" You pick him up and stare at him. You bring him to your chest in a small hug, teary eyed. "I'm gonna get you boys back to normal, I promise."

Some hours passed and you had attempted to get a sign out of Gaz or Soap to no avail. It seems as if Simon was the only one who was cognitive of what was going on, but you still were unsure of the extent of his knowledge and awareness.

It's been a week since you had seen the Captain, and as much as you told yourself you wanted to keep it that way, deep down you wanted the softness he had when the boys were were first found. At night, you'd catch yourself dreaming about the way he looked that evening he popped into your office to ask if you were hungry, or the way he speak quietly to you in the mornings knowing you were up late with one of the boys.

Laswell hasn't mention anything about him either but you didn't know if that was a personal choice, or if she actually had no information regarding him.

You wanted to know where he was. Not only did you miss the warmth he held when you two were handling this situation, but you missed his help. He would always let you sleep in or let you take a rest. He cooked and stepped up so you weren't overexerting yourself.

You missed the companionship.

You glanced over to the clock to see it was nearly midnight, but when you scanned the time stamp on your phone, you saw a message from your email.

It was from General Shephard. It was sent hours ago.

Dear Lieutenant L/N,

I am writing this to you to pass it on that the Private you sent to me regarding sexual harassment has been found innocent. There was no camera footage found after review and he has no background violations or any previous infarctions.

Best Regards,

General Shephard

You felt your heart sink in your chest. There's cameras all over the training room, how could they not see it? The familiar sting landed in your throat as your emotions took over you.

Innocent? After what he did? How could Shephard not see that?!

You felt like you were going to scream, the pain unbearable.

It made you think back to Dubai. The severity of that event would've landed that man in jail. The way you had bruises on your neck and hips from the harsh grip of his hands for weeks, the way you limped for days. You remember the cold stare of your Captain when you told him, the nonchalant "Brush it off."

You were crushed.

You had lost.

The sun shone through the windows of your room as you woke up, looking over to see Gaz and Ghost already up. You picked them up to change them and then situated them in holsters, one on your chest, one on your back.

You did the same with Soap and then placed him on your hip, taking them to the kitchen to feed them.

Taking a moment while the bottles warmed, you took in the sight of all three boys in their highchairs, drowsy. Their little eyelashes fluttering as they struggled to stay awake, babbling and cooing.

It made you take a step back and really breathe in the moment, this may be the only time in your life that you're able to have this motherly role, even if they aren't your kids.

The microwave beeped and you shook the bottles, handing each one to the littles, watching as the half-hazardly drank the bottles. You felt a joy spark in your chest, enjoying this time with them despite the trouble they cause.

And here you thought they were troublesome as adults. Jokes on you.

You sat down at the breakfast bar as you waited, your mind drifting to distant memories.

"Y/N!!!" You could hear Soap's voice as you fell to your knees clutching your shoulder in pain. Removing your hand, you saw the blood seeping into the cotton material of your uniform. The sounds of warfare around you felt muffled as the pain radiated through your body from the gunshot wound.

You leaned on your hand to steady yourself, trying to breathe through the pain as the sound of skidding sounded in your ears. Looking up, you saw Soap sliding over to you, firing to cover you. "Get on my back! We gotta get ya outta here lass!" You moved slowly, trying to stay off your right arm. You winced as you climbed onto his back, squeezing your legs to keep yourself up as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

He had carried you out of the fire into a safe house not too far away as he immediately performed first aid to your shoulder. You remember the way he remained calm when his face was in your eyeline, but you could watch his muscles tense as he worried about your state.

The memory made you smile. Soap was always there for you, like he had eyes in the back of his head. Anytime you got hurt out in the field, he was worrying himself sick. He cared so much, and had such a big heart of gold.

"How dare you?!" You laughed, slamming down your Uno cards.

Gaz taunted you as he celebrated his win. You two were in a tent on a mission trying to boost both of your morales. Uno was your favorite game, but he was too good at it for your own good. No matter how strategic you were, he would always win.

Gaz was like that at every game, the rest of the team dreading game nights. Once in awhile though, you'd catch him letting you win because he enjoyed seeing you rub it in everyone's faces. It brought him joy to see you smile, so if he had to take a loss, he would.

You heard a whine as Soap finished his bottle. The other two boys were still working on theirs, so you went to go wash out the empty one.

"Ghost! How copy?" Your voice was panicked as you frantically looked around Las Almas. You were completely separated from Soap and Ghost. Soap had ended up around two miles from you, but Ghost wouldn't come through the radio. It had you so anxious you were going to be sick.

"Soap, do you have visual on Ghost?"

"No," his voice was strained from his shot wound. "There's a church about halfway between us, let's meet there and regroup."

For the next hour and some, you and Soap worked together to find a church, and when you did, Soap was already there. You rushed to him, relief washing over you until you heard a familiar hum.

Turning around, you say Ghost. "Don't fucking scare me like that ever again!" You punched his chest. "I thought you were dead!" You were angry with him, trying to land a hard hit on him.

He grabbed his arms and wrapped them around his waist as he silently brought you into an embrace. You cried into his chest as he brushed his hand over your head, the other drawing shapes into your back. "You're not gonna get rid of me that easy." He let out.

"You scared me so bad, I thought I lost you." You said through sobs.

"You'll never lose me."

Once the boys were finished with their bottles, you washed everything out and put the boys in some fresh clothes. You had decided you were going to take them out as you needed more supplies.

Maybe you'd stop by a park on the far end of town so they could get some fresh air too.

And everything had gone according to plan while you were out.

You even stopped to get ice cream, giving the boys a bite or two each of your own cup.

The day was full of fun and laughter, the sun was bright and the boys were well-behaved.

When you arrived back to base, you opened your door and set your bags down and put the boys in their playpen when you heard someone clear their throat.

"Y/N..." You turned around to greet the person in your room.

"Laswell, what's wrong?" You saw the solemn look ridden on her face.

"It's John, we need to talk about him."

You had brought her into the kitchen of the compound, brewing some coffee as you both sat down. "I don't really wish to talk about him right now." You said as you scoot your chair in.

"I know what happened, he told me everything. But, there's something you need to know. I know where he is, and I'm worried about him." She looked at you, silently asking you to hear her out. "I know he's not your favorite person but-"

"He disregarded my sexual assault in Dubai and prevented me from reporting it and when I called him out, he walked out on me. On top on everything else he's done, of course he's not my favorite person, he never has been." You were already fired up.

"I know what he did. I found him yesterday in his office, passed out drunk. He had your file pulled up on his computer. When I finally got him up and had him sober up, he spilled everything. He was crying. John doesn't cry Y/N." Laswell was trying to get to you through your emotions. You weren't falling for that.

"Why would I give a shit?"

"I've never seen you this fired up over him, there's something you're not telling me." That motherly tone is back. Your mind went to his kind smile, the gentle look in his eyes.

"He let me in." Your voice was quiet.

"Excuse me?!"

"When I brought the boys to him, hoping to find some help or answers, he wasn't the man I've come to know through my time of service. He wasn't Captain Price anymore, I saw John. He was kind and warm and gentle. He was sweet to me and helped with the boys, always letting me rest. I saw his smile, and the look in his eyes was unlike anything I've seen before. I've had a glimpse and now I'll never see it again." You felt hot tears sting your cheeks.

"I wouldn't say that." Laswell shook her head. "There is so much you don't know about him dear, you should go talk to him."

"I can't even look at him after he walked out."

"Give him a chance to explain himself." Laswell put her hand on yours. "Let him tell you for himself."

Your eyes widened at the gesture. "Tell me what?"

"What's got him so in his head. Please." She begged you to go see your Captain in his office. After some convincing and more tears, you finally gave in, just to get her off of you.

Your footsteps were loud in your ears as you approached his door, knocking lightly. There was no response. You slowly turned the doorknob, entering the room, closing the door behind you.

You froze at the sight before you. There were files all over his desk, most of them with your name on it. Your Captain was sitting with his head in his hands. "Captain?" Your voice was meek.

His head shot up, wide eyes staring into you. You could see the bags under his eyes, his eyes red from crying. He had a bottle of bourbon on his desk, only a droplet or two left in it. "Laswell said you had something to tell me." You said, not wanting to make anymore eye contact.

He remained silent, the room thick with it. You heard him stand from his chair, but you remained with your gaze on your shoes. "I-" He began. "I won you the case."

That's when your head snapped up. "What?"

"The Dubai case. With that guy. I, uh, I filed everything together and he's being put in jail."

You were confused. "You're 3 years too late."

"It's taken me three years." His words cut you deep. "I went straight to Shephard and Laswell when we got back from the mission. I filed a case against him in your name."

You stood dumbfounded. "That doesn't explain the way you reacted, nor the way you walked out on me." You were still hurt. You couldn't forgive him.

"Understandable." He sniffled as he began to fiddle with the files on his desk. "There's no excuse for the way I reacted, but you do deserve an explanation." He cleared his throat and looked up at you. When you didn't say anything, he continued. "When you came to me about it, at first I didn't think anything of it. I had a lot of female soldiers doing that to me that trip just so they could get sent home early or get a fat check. I caught them lying and they'd immediately back down. My mind told me you were doing the same thing." He takes in a shaky breath. "That was until I came to find you one morning and caught you changing. You were putting your shirt on when I saw your bruising. It looked like you had been beaten, I watched your walls come up that day and I watched you cower into a shell of yourself. That's when I know you were telling the truth."

"Why didn't you say anything?" You spoke up.

He sighed and took a second to collect himself, on the verge of tears. "I knew the statistics of women winning these types of cases, especially with the lack of proof. I snuck pictures of you to document your marks, and I asked every soldier I could to find a witness. No one came forward. The case would've never won, and I knew that. That's why I never said anything to you, I couldn't stand to watch you feel the pain of not getting the justice you deserved. Shephard and Laswell told me how poor the evidence was, and the three of us spent years trying to dig up anything we could." He paused, pulling out a piece of paper. "6 months ago, a witness came forward. That put the case over the edge and we won. I found out this morning."

You scanned the paper, the woman was a victim of the same man, same situation. Reading over it, you related to every word. This woman won you the case. "So what's your reasoning behind you being an asshole the entire time I've worked with you? Even as a Lieutenant yourself, you were always an asshole to me."

Price sighs, then walks around his desk to face you. "I was angry. All these years, I've been angry. Before my promotion, when I met you, you were just a Sergeant. I watched you in the field and around the male soldiers and I felt angry. I knew you'd be a problem and I knew I'd have to deal with it."

"Then why did you invite me to join the 141?" You were confused.

"The anger only multiplied when your case came to be, I was angry at the thought you'd lose and the son of a bitch who hurt you would still be loose to hurt others. I've been angry with you all these years because I knew one of these days, I'd run the risk of losing my rank." Price took a step towards you. "I was angry at the thought of losing you."

You continued to stare at him in confusion. "What're you on about?"

"I would never be able to have you the way I want, it'd be frowned upon." Your eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" You took a step backwards as his hand cupped your face.

"You haunt me. Your smile, your eyes. The way you laugh from your chest. My dreams are littered with images of you, reminding me of what I can't have."

"Why can't you 'have me'? I'm on your squad?" You were oblivious to his insinuations, confused as could be.

"Because I could never ask you to love a man you hate."

His words shook you to your core. "I love you Y/N, I have since I found you out in that shack in the mountains abandoned by your unit. I love the way you effortlessly care for others, the way your perfume lingers in a room. As soon as I thought I had suppressed by feelings, you show up at my door with three children. Yes, they're our coworkers, but I couldn't help but see the big picture. I see the way you interact with them, the way you molded into this figure that had nothing but admiration and love. It was so different from the woman I know in the field, the woman behind the rank."

He was staring into your eyes when it all hit you.

The way you played images of him shirtless that one night you opened the door, his kind smile, his gentle eyes. The way you dreamed of him in the kitchen cooking for you.

You loved him too.

You glanced down to his lips and without another word, John pulled you into a kiss. Your lips molded into his, his kiss warm and passionate. He kissed you like he'd never get to again.

The kiss slowed down time, and all you could think of was his hands holding you tightly against him like you'd disappear if he let go.

"John..." You said as you backed away. "I love you too, I've missed you." He kissed you again before sliding his hand down to hold yours.

"Let's go home."

The ride was silent back to the compound, even as you both approached your room. Laswell left with a nod and a wink to you.

You thanked your lucky stars you listened to her.

All three boys looked up at John from the playpen, wide eyed. Gaz began to cry as John swooped him up and comforted him. "They missed you too. It was tough doing this alone."

"I'm so sorry I walked out, I should've told you then and there, stayed around."

"You're here now." You smiled up at him as he leaned in to plant yet another kiss to your lips. You giggled as you heard Gaz giggle and Soap and Ghost let out little babbles and flailed their arms in excitement. John chuckled too.

"Do you think they saw this coming?" He asked.

"Probably." You moved to go change into your pajamas, John doing the same. Coming out of his bathroom, you saw him shirtless and wearing his signature flannel pants. You took in a deep breath.

"Like the view? Cause, I'm loving mine. C'mere." John sat on the edge of his bed as his hands ran over your thighs. "Do you feel comfortable sleeping here? Or do you still want the couch?"

You thought for a moment. "Can I have one more night on the couch?"

"Whatever makes you feel at home." John smiled as he crawled back into bed, wishing you a goodnight.

You smiled back as you climbed under the blankets on the couch. As much as you wanted to sleep next to him, it was intimidating for you. You needed to muster up the courage to be that close to him like that.

For now, you were just happy you found your feelings for him and you learned how his behavior all these years was because he was fighting for your honor.

You had John back, and that's all you could ask for.

[hermajestytak]

You know, there's nothing better than finding songs that fit your ship, so I'll start making a note here when I find a song that fits a ship

Starting a thread on ZaSR my beloved

Songs will be added to this playlist as I build it up:

[Feel free to add/suggest your own]

Today, we're starting with all the STARSET songs that fit them!

Note that these songs have their own meanings and narratives, this is just a ship specific reading of them. Think of it like a jukebox musical cherry-picking lyrics to fit the story: a ZaSR Mama Mia of sorts

[1] It Has Begun

[Either POV]

This one's relatively simple: since Zim and Skoodge are the same age, they've been training to be soldiers alongside each other since smeethood. Despite their difference is, a major connection they have is that they're both invaders; their mutual goal is to bring planets to their knees.

This one can be an anthem for numerous experiences and milestones they've had:

Their attempted escape together from the underground and Zim seeing the surface for the first time

Their graduation from the underground and their first true emergence

Their stages of training on their way to becoming invaders (their elite soldier training, invader training, the Devastis test, etc)

The start of Operation Impending Doom II when they both get their major missions and go their separate ways again

The conquering of Blorch and

The eventual conquering of Earth

Even a well lit place, can hide salvation A map to a one man maze that never sees the sun Where the lost are the heroes And the thieves are left to drown But everyone knows by now Fairy-tales are not found They are written in the walls As we walk in a straight line Down in the dirt with a landslide approaching But nothing could ever stop us From stealing our own place in the sun We will face the odds against us And run into the fear we run from (ah, ah) It has begun Into the dark below Evading shadows Blind in a rabbit's hole We fall beneath the earth And watch the shell come unraveled As the seed begins to rise Embracing a starlit fate as we wait in the night It's written in the walls ... It has begun (ah, ah) It has begun (ah, ah) It has begun (ah, ah) It has begun (ah, ah) It has begun

[2] Telescope

[Skoodge's POV]

This one's inspired by how Skoodge traveled countless miles from the Irken Empire's territory all the way to Earth just to live with Zim.

You’re out there I hear you calling from behind The star fields I feel you Radiating energy like Eternal northern lights Far from the sun Where no one knows I’ve watched you from My telescope I will travel The distance in your eyes Interstellar Light years from you Supernova We’ll fuse when we collide Awaking in the light Of all the stars aligned ... I will find you I will find you I will find you! I will find you!

[3] Die For You

[Skoodge's POV]

A bit more of a serious sounding pick, this one's just a promise from Skoodge to Zim that no matter how many times they're separated and how many times Zim screws up, he'll still be his lifelong companion from their smeethood up to the day that Zim finally conquers the Earth. Skoodge has a very strong kindness and loyalty in his character (uhhh rat extermination aside), so I love associating this song with him.

I will run alone tonight Without you by my side I guess you had a place you had to get to I know your eyes, I know inside The walls you hide behind And I saw the truth inside the real you Because I know you're lost when you run away Into the same black holes and black mistakes Taking all my will just to run alone When are you coming home? Even if the sky does fall Even if they take it all There's no pain that I won't go through Even if I have to die for you And when all the fires burn When everything is overturning There's no thing that I won’t go through Even if I have to die for you ... One day the Earth will open wide And I’ll follow you inside 'Cause the only hell I know is without you Some day when galaxies collide We'll be lost on different skies I will send my rocket ship to find you ... And if the sun grows cold for you along the way And if the stars don’t line to light the way And when you fall away and crash back down below I’ll search the skies for you and I’ll follow I'll be in your afterglow And I’ll bring you home

Fun Fact: I made an animation going for my favorite part of this song!

[4] PERFECT MACHINE

[Zim's POV]

Our first song that I pin onto Zim!

TBH, not all of the lyrics fit that well (unless you subscribe to the "Zim's ego is all an act" reading). The main reason it's here is because at first, I can't imagine Zim seeing a romantic relationship or partnership as anything but a transaction: I do what you want and in return, I get validation and praise from you. After all, this is his relationship with authority figures like the Almighty Tallest.

However, in this romantic scenario, he truly does love Skoodge; the problem is Zim can't honestly admit it. He wants to hide it to be the perfect Irken soldier, but it slips. He'll deny that it slips, but it slips anyway. Unfortunately for him, Skoodge knows him too well to be convinced by him lying about it.

Oh yeah and Zim can't fathom the idea of somebody loving him unconditionally because 1. that's not really a concept in the Irken empire, 2. he's been rejected and brushed aside so many times, and 3. he's an evil little shit, why the HELL would someone genuinely love him?!

Show me your insides, show me your secrets Show  me what you desire - I can fake it Show  what you wanted, so I can be it And if I bend just right, I can make it I didn't want you I  wanna watch you change from a butterfly and into chains Lay  your heart into my perfect machine I will show you what you wanted to see Just  a mirror till I get what I need The reverie was not of me You never saw nothing Never saw nothing I'm  just a liar without deceiving I'm just a broken clown make-believing I should've let you know, you should've ran for cover I'm just a parlor trick, a two-bit counterfeit ... Even you know, even you know This was all for nothing Just a sad show, just an ego I suppose though, as far as I know We were both pretending I suppose so But what do I know? Even you know, even you know This was all for nothing Just a sad show, just an ego I suppose though, as far as I know We were both pretending I suppose so But what do I know?

[5] LEAVING THIS WORLD BEHIND

[Mixed POV]

Finally, we have the current closer of the playlist: LEAVING THIS WORLD BEHIND

This one comes from my headcanon that the reason Skoodge offers his help to Zim after conquering Blorch is so that they can both retire as invaders and live together for the rest of their days somewhere far, far away.

Ironically, if Zim becomes Earth's ruler, he inevitably leaves it. An official Nick Magazine comic shows a timeline where Zim finally rules Earth only to quickly grow frustrated with humanity and ditch it to drink soda and ride space bunnies with Dib. In the Oni comics timeline, Emperor Zim willingly delivers Earth to the Tallest so they can cut it in half and use it as a snack bowl. My headcanon for Skoodge's plan and this song's inclusion are based upon futures like those.

Beautiful, new frontier High above the rain in the atmosphere What wonders I have discovered My soul is everclear Never felt the way I do with you here I hope there's never another So sing tonight, we're everbright Burning through space, I see your face I could beat kryptonite We're so alive, forever high Hold on, my dear, there'll be no fear Leaving this world behind (This world behind) Far away, above the earth We'll soar through the curvature Away from all our dark matters And escape the barriers That we’ve manufactured Going into the hereafter And I'll wait if you take forever long I'll listen for your song Leaving this world behind (Leaving this world behind) All good things Must come to pass Now is your time

[astraymetronome]

the idea of raccoon!Tommy taking a tiny and dunking the in water to wash them before nomming them is SO cute <33 I love it

Yeah! I love laundry bears! They're adorable and honestly shouldn't be seen as gross, at least in my opinion. I think it would be cute if a pred had a tell before they plan to nom someone. Even if it's just subconscious or something!

Tommy would probably do it all the time and, in my example I'ma use Tubbo, the tiny would be able to calm themselves or be like 'oh, okay-' basically it's a way to communicate without actual words- But I'm not gonna do that.

This is the fic I teased in the other ask-

ANGST FOR EVERYONE!

Anyhoo- here's this tiny treat of The Prime Duo ^^

It used to be a tiny treat. Instead it's a full course meal-

TW: Vore, Thoughts of Fatal Vore, Speciesism, instincts, and angst.

Tommy was quietly humming to himself as he went about working on an assignment for school. The 15 year old was frustrating himself over the fact this stupid essay was over something so simple and logical. The teen had chosen to take an agriculture class to learn more about farming so that he could understand Techno's love for it a little more.

The smell of dirt and grime had always been an immediate no for him but the fact he was being told to write an essay on the importance of washing fuckin' vegetables was getting on his nerves. Of course, you wash your veggies! You should wash everything you eat regardless of the type!

He didn't do it because of what people assumed, his classmates would tease him over dipping fuckin' chicken nuggets in water. Yeah, it made it soggy but he learned a lot about it when he did that. If it absorbs a lot and becomes super mushy, then it probably has been sitting out for at least two hours. If it doesn't absorb much then that tells him it's a perfect thing to eat! Plus it won't feel weird on his tongue or anything.

He had a secret feeling this essay was his teacher's way to show their distant for raccoons considering they'd done a lesson on farm pests and chose to focus on his kind. Yeah, raccoons do tend to go after sweet corn and cherries, both of which aren't viable in their area!

He found himself chitting to himself, flexing his hands in anger. Phil always doted over his little hand movements, calling them his grabby hands of anger, but all it was was his instincts wanting him to find something to burrow with and hide until he calmed down.

Tommy closed his laptop, cursing quietly before he proceeded to step out of his room and start heading downstairs. His tail swished in annoyance before a small sound reached his ears. They perked up as he turned to face it, seeing a familiar face sitting on the kitchen counter. He smiled at the sight of the borrower, happy to see someone he liked right now. He hid his hands, knowing he'd not be able to keep from picking them up if he tired.

"Dream, did dad leave out some Cheerios again?" He questioned, smiling as green eyes darted up to him. Dream was a borrower that had been living with them since Tommy was a little kid. The two of them knew each other well and often got into plenty of antics. Though, Tommy hasn't had a lot of time for him as of late.

"Yea- 'he o'd ma' did," The small man said, his mouth full of the sweet cereal. The teen rolled his eyes, knowing for a fact Dream had probably requested to have some set out considering the borrower's sweet tooth. He swallowed before continuing. "Said he has to work the closing shift." Tommy nodded as he listened. He held back a whine, having wanted his dad to curl up with him in the man's nest. It wasn't as good as his burrow but Tommy knew his dad couldn't fit inside it due to his wings so Phil's nest was the next best thing.

"That makes sense, the hospital tends to be busier in the winter."

"That's very true, can't let everyone die." Dream said earnestly. It was enough to confuse Tommy out of his bit of frustration, the teen's laugh filling the room as he giggled.

"I'm sure Momma won't be too mad about the few he takes back." He said with a gentle sigh. Tommy's tail swishing behind him as he happily let a chitter build in his throat.

He was smiling as he proceeded to place his head on the counter, ignoring how the cold marble felt against his chin. He was near Dream, watching as the borrower munched on the cereal. It took a moment before Dream pushed three of the wheat based rings towards him. Tommy let his nose twitch, sniffing them before he proceeded to quietly stick his tongue out.

He let them stick to his tongue before pulling it back into his mouth, quietly chewing them before he gave an eye roll. "You don't need to share it with me." He said fondly, not noticing the slight discomfort on Dream's face at his action.

"You're clearly in a bad mood Toms." The borrower said, the man's mouse-like tail swishing and wrapping around Tommy's finger on top of the slight discomfort in his voice. "Come on kid, you can talk to me. If we need to curl up in your burrow we can." Dream said calmly, quickly hiding the sound of his nerves. The teen found himself scooping him up in a second. He made sure to hold the man carefully, a purr leaving his throat as he walked towards the stairs and back up to his room.

"Someone's an eager beaver." Dream said with a chuckle, laying against Tommy's thumb as he was carefully brought upstairs. He took a few moments to get up to Tommy's room before they both were sitting in front of his borrow. Tommy's bed was around 2 and a half feet above the ground, the space under it being packed full of blankets and pillows.

He held the borrower by his shirt, using his teeth, as he carefully crawled his way into the plush space. His tail wished as he gave a purr and quietly curled into the space. The moment Tommy was on his back he let go of Dream and gently held the blonde borrower to his chest.

Tommy nuzzled at the man with a soft purr, immediately relaxing a little bit as he held his friend before he moved to just let him lay on his neck. Tommy would probably be more controlling over where he lets Dream lay if he was deeper into his instincts but it was mostly surface level. He felt the borrower move, resting just under his Adams apple as the small man spoke.

"So what's got your fur ruffled?" He asked calmly, no blame or accusing in his tone. Tommy liked being around Dream, the borrower never treated him like an animal or like a baby. His tail swished as they sat in the warmth of his burrow.

"It's my stupid teacher, I'm pretty sure he's being a dick about the fact I'm a raccoon hybrid." Tommy mumbled as he proceeded to quietly lay on his back. He had one hand on his collar bone, feeling Dream's tail wrap around his pinkie finger before he continued. "He keeps making these sly comments about vermin. I understand that, because it's an agriculture class, but it's directed at me. Even Purpled feels like it's insinuating he doesn't like me."

Tommy was a little angry but the tapping on his chin was enough to get him out of it. He leaned his head to the side, letting Dream crawl up his jaw and onto his cheek. The borrower sat before speaking. "Tommy, if it's something you're genuinely getting upset about you should tell your dad or Techno."

Tommy held back the urge to shake his head, instead just humming as he spoke up. "I can't. It's childish to get my dad involved, and if I tell Techno it'll cause some unnecessary drama since Mr. Squid and him are friends." He mumbled a bit before bringing a hand up to hold Dream against his face, nuzzling him for a moment before his nose was tapped.

Tommy pulled away as the little voice spoke. "Well, how about I go with you tomorrow? I'll be able to tell you if it's actually targeting comments or not." He let his blue eyes drift over to the small form in his hands, looking unsure before Dream continued. "If not it's fine, but if you don't choose who to tell I'll tell Techno myself."

Tommy gave a loud groan at the comment, immediately tucking the borrower against his chest, feeling the small thing laugh, able to hear the quiet chuckle that escaped him.

"Fine, you can come with me tomorrow, but you're staying hidden in my hoodie all day." He said quickly. Tommy was well aware his family was considered oddballs. It wasn't like anyone knew they had a friendly relationship with borrowers but most of his peers thought his family was strange due to the immense amount of hybrids types.

Dream had curled back under his Adam's apple, the flicking of his tail almost ticking the giant teen as the small man spoke. "Deal. Now get a bit of a nap. I'm sure Techno will know where to find you for dinner." The blonde borrower said calmly, gently tapping Tommy's chin before they both settled down for a bit.

Tomorrow will be fine, right?..

☆~°.•🦝🌱💿//+🪐

Tommy could feel himself sweating and he had the insight to know Dream was in the same boat of panic. He had the borrower hidden in his hoodie pocket with his phone and the raccoon couldn't help but be nervous that Phil would notice something was wrong. They'd never let him take a borrower to school if they knew about this and he'd probably get in trouble when he got home if they found out about the fact he brought Dream with him.

The teen grabbed a slice of toast from the table, taking a bite to show he planned to eat it before he slipped his school bag back over his shoulders. He plans to let Dream have as much of it as he wants after they were at least a block or so from the house. He called out a goodbye to Phil, knowing Techno was already on campus.

Tommy relaxed as they got far enough away before he took another bite of the buttered toast and then sat down in the little backway he took to get to school. He placed his hand in his pocket, carefully letting his palm lay flat until he felt small hands grab his fingers and a weight settle on his palm.

"Finally! I forgot how stuffy and loud pockets could be!" The blonde said quickly. It broke a laugh for the teenager, smiling at the release of tension Dream brought with the little comment. He settled the borrower onto his thigh before holding out a bit of the slice of toast. The tiny man eagerly snatched a piece of it, eating at it like a starving animal. Tommy found himself rolling his eyes as he spoke.

"You're not that desperate for food."

"So what! You guys haven't had toast in a while and I love it!"

Tommy groaned before he leaned back, still watching the borrower as he spoke. "Today is gonna take forever-"

☆~°.•🦝🌱💿//+🪐

The day had been going well so far, at least as far as Dream could tell. Tommy had been talking with all his friends and they didn't get caught in Techno's class either! It was a great day! The borrower had to admit he snuck a few peaks from he sides of his hiding place, knowing full well that he risked being seen or worse, grabbed. Regardless, he wanted to help Tommy in any way he could considering he's watched the kid grow up.

He could sense the kid's nerves as the last class of his day began to grow closer. He recognized that Tommy was very uncomfortable, the teen fidgeting on top of everything he could hear. The borrower was used to picking up noises humans couldn't considering he was so much smaller which meant quiet noises often seemed a lot bigger and more imposing for him. He could hear the raccoon's heartbeat, able to recognize the distant and uncomfortable sound. He could also make out Tommy's stomach, he was very used to the sounds but he could tell the difference between hunger and discomfort.

Being this close to a human, let alone a hybrid human, would make a normal borrower scream and panic even being caught inside something a human was holding, let alone in one's hand. He was used to being near them at this point, Tommy loved to carry him around all the time when he was a tot and Dream was only 8. Now the two of them were 15 and 20 years old, and the bond of being pseudo-brothers had turned real after a while.

He was used to human touch and it wasn't something he wanted to give up, the Crafts were his family and he had no reason to think of them otherwise. None of them saw him as a meal or some toy to throw away. He offered to help Tommy figure out what his teacher was doing because, despite the assumptions, Dream was actually very good at understanding emotions and words but, right now, he couldn't understand anything.

The entire classroom was full of sounds, speaking, squeaking, and thudding. Tommy had his hand around him, thumb rubbing his back as the teen seemed to be laying his head down on his desk, using his free arm to cradle his head. Dream was happy with having a comfortable touch with how loud everything was, he burrowed his head into the teen's palm, carefully trying to hide before everything went quiet.

Tommy removed his hand from his pocket and he listened to the kid's panicked heartbeat pick up before he went ahead and tapped the boy's abdomen through the fabrics to try to remind him he wasn't alone. He listened as the boy sighed and the class started up.

☆~°.•🦝🌱💿//+🪐

"Alright, class! Don't forget that your essays are due tomorrow. Don't forget that if you add things from this lecture to it, I will give out extra points." Mr. Squid said simply before he went ahead and began a lecture on pesticides. It was pretty boring if Tommy was honest, unable to focus on anything considering that he'd learned about this from late-night lessons with Techno. When he couldn't sleep, he'd find himself in his big brother's room, listening to him plan lessons or ramble on about something he was currently hyperfictioning on.

Tommy has listened to his brother talk about natural and chemical-based pesticides for hours and never once did the man make him feel as though he deserved to be on the other side of these kinds of things. He knew full well his brother never used chemical pesticides unless absolutely necessary and, when he did, he would always inform those in the house. He knows the reason Techno talks about it is because Tommy had a bad habit of snagging plants from the vegetable garden before they were finished growing when he was in middle school.

The teen had noticed a small section added the next year that his big brother took care of but always made sure he never used things on it without informing Tommy first, he'd 99% sure it was added just for him but... He hasn't really messed with it as of late.

Well... not since this school year started.

Tommy used to giggle like a menace when he was caught pulling a carrot from the garden, and Techno would call him a little vermin! It hadn't ever been in a way that made him feel bad, but after he started classes with Mr. Squid, he hadn't been able to handle being called anything similar to a pest. His eyes drifted from his paper, and he saw that his teacher was scribbling down key points for the lesson.

The teen turned his attention to the small weight in his hoodie pocket, carefully placing his non-dominate hand into the fabric tube before he rubbed at Dream's back, able to feel as the tiny purred and nuzzled closer to his touch. He let his free hand start to take his notes, enveloping himself in the pattern of glancing up and down, up and down, until a hand on his shoulder grabbed him out of it.

"Mr. Innit-Craft, I've called your name 5 times now. You need to pay more attention." Mr. Squid said sternly. His touch wasn't hurting or anything but Tommy really didn't like being touched by people, it was a part of his raccoon instincts, not enjoying contact with people outside his nursery. His blue eyes drifted towards the man's face, swallowing nervously before his teacher continued. "Regardless, can you tell me what pesticides do when consumed since you seem more interested in your drawings than my lesson?"

Tommy lifted his gaze, back to the board seeing a collection of questions that hadn't been there just five minutes ago. He gave a nod before speaking up.

"Well, if people were to eat too much of it, it will-"

"No, Mr. Innit-Craft, what happens to a critter that eats it."

Tommy felt his heart sink for a moment, taking note of how Dream had gone still in his pocket before he opened his mouth. The teen was at a lost for words before he gave a small smile. "Well..." He started, his words lowering to a whisper as his tail curled into his lap, hiding the pocket of his hoodie and, in turn, the borrower inside.

"I'm not running a seminar, Thomas. Speak up for the class to hear." The man said as he stood up straight and began to walk to the front of the room. "I better be able to hear you this time."

Tommy could feel his heart pounding in his ears as he got to his feet. His eyes drifted over his peers, taking in the sight of normal humans and a wide range of animal hybrids. Not a single other 'scavenger' type animal among the groups in the room. The raccoon hybrid took a deep breath, his ears flicking to each little sound in the room.

"Like with people, if an animal were to eat too much of the contaminated crops they'd probably-"

"Give us an example."

"W-what?.." Tommy found himself saying.

"An example. Like rats, possums, or even... raccoons." Mr. Squid said causing Tommy to freeze up. He looked down at his feet before he spoke up again, able to feel the concerned taps against his fingers by the borrower still tucked away in his pocket. His heartbeat was filling his ears and he couldn't help the shaking of his voice as he spoke, not really paying attention to his words as he droned them out.

"If a raccoon were to eat contaminated crops... depending on how much they've eaten they'd suffer from mild sickness, chronic poisoning, nervous system collapse, liver and kidney failure, or even death." The teen said simply before he looked up and made eye contact with his teacher. There was this sick sense of joy in the man's eyes, enough that Tommy knew he really was trying to make Tommy feel bad. His ears began to flatten back at the soft snickers of his classmates before he began to shove things into his bag.

Tommy couldn't stomach another second in the classroom...

☆~°.•🦝🌱💿//+🪐

Dream felt his stomach sink when Tommy rushed from the classroom. He could hear the teen's erratic heart rate and his panicked breathing, knowing all Tommy would want to do right now would be shifting his body into the shape of a raccoon and hiding in the closest thing to a burrow. He didn't expect Tommy to duck into a side room. Tommy was quiet other than the panicking breaths and the soft hiccups he could pick up,

The borrower took this as a sign they were alone as he peered his head out of the hoodie pocket, looking up to see Tommy's face. The boy's face was red, a mix of anger, sadness, and fear dressing his expression. He blinked a little as a tear fell on the top of his head, causing Dream to take his eyes off the sheen appearance of his little brother's face. He shook his head, trying to ignore the feeling of liquid dripping down the back of his neck.

"Tommy?... Maybe we should go to Techno's classroom." He said calmly, glancing around to see that they were tucked into a corner in a bathroom. He yelped as a hand scooped him up by the front, laying on his belly as he was draped over the interdigital part of Tommy's palm. He didn't expect to be held like this since, normally, the teen was very careful with how he handled him.

The boy's hold was firm but still soft enough to not cause him any pain as he glanced up, squirming to get a better look at the raccoon teenager. He pushed his hands against the pads on his hands, able to feel the soft yet textured sensation of Tommy's paw pads as he was quickly lifted. His eyes drifted from the boy's face, now watching the mirror they were standing in front of. The sound of rushing water grabbed his attention as he looked down.

"Tommy? What's going on, talk to me, kid!" He said quickly, not understanding why his little brother wasn't saying anything or doing much of anything he could think about. He looked up, taking in the glazed-over look in the raccoon's eyes on top of how narrow his pupils seemed to be.

He'd seen this before, most of the time whenever Tommy was curled up in his burrow or Phil's nest after a really bad day. 'Okay, Tommy's just really freaked out. Everything will be fine, I just need to get him to Techno or find a way to convince him to call-' Dream's thought process was quickly interrupted by the fact his head was drenched in water. He went to take a breath in his panic, only to suddenly take liquid into his lungs instead of water. Panic flooded him just as much as the cold fluid drenched his clothes. It felt like an hour of being submerged before the hissing of the faucet stopped and he coughed harshly, forcing water up and out of his lungs as his chest burned.

Dream greedily gulped air down, panicking now that he looked like a soaked rat, and looked toward his little brother before he froze. Tommy's gaze was still glazed over but it had a hint of valuation behind it. He didn't understand the way he was being looked at, but his instincts were screaming that something was really, really wrong. He needed to get Tommy to put him down, or he needed a way to get into contact with Technoblade.

"Tommy!" He called out before shaking as he shivered, of course, the cold was already getting to him. "Tommy?" He continued as he was lifted upwards, faster than he'd like to experience at his small size. His eyes widened as he took in the look on the teen's face. It was closer than he had been of his own fruition. His instincts screamed in fear as he squirmed and tried to dig his fingernails into the teen's palms, not managing to do much of anything as his lips parted in front of him.

Dream's heart fell into his stomach as he watched the boy's mouth open, seeing deep reds and pinks that decorated each muscle inside. He couldn't do anything, being forced to stare into the chasm as warm breath washed over his face. The moisture he could feel inside each exhale didn't need explaining since the sheen that covered everything made it rather clear why. He could see the light scaring in the very back, able to recognize where his tonsils used to be. "Tommy!" He yelled, unable to use his hands to brace himself due to the fact his hands were pinned.

He was shaking as his body was forced closer and began to enter the kid's mouth, he couldn't believe Tommy would do something like this! He's always been such a sweet kid who didn't mind the fears borrowers held, he understood that they had natural fears and never even considered pushing those boundaries, and yet here he was, his upper body sprawled across the teen's tongue as his legs kicked in fear. He could hear his heart in his ears and his breathing seemed to echo across the space as he squirmed before his hand slipped across one of Tommy's teeth. He didn't hesitate to yelp as pain shot through his palm, his hand suddenly feeling more wet despite the saliva and water that was soaking him.

The hum that sounded out around him as the nosy muscle pressed into his wound, now frightened him more than anything else was at the moment. He looked over his shoulder, taking a shuttering breath as he took in the sight of white, clean teeth, strong enough to break him in two if Tommy so desired. He felt dread, anger, and sadness all at the same time as he was pushed and prodded.

"Tommy! Let me out! Please, Toms, stop this!" He yelled out as the tongue pressed him up and against the roof, a loud gulp sounding out as saliva was pulled down the throat. The sight caused him to freeze, watching the liquid go down told him he wouldn't be getting out of this. He yelled, trying to push the roof of his mouth to have an attempt at keeping himself from being swallowed, but it didn't work. An eager push made him lose his hold before an ill-timed movement caused his head to dangle over the end of his tongue. Dream was no longer on his stomach, the borrower had managed to get to his back as he took in shuttering frightened breaths that turned into screams as the throat pulled him inside. The gulp brought him into a slick space, no longer able to get any form of grip before a second one pushed him down further, the movement not stopping as he slipped away.

His eyes were tightly closed as the sound of a heartbeat began to fill his ears, getting louder and louder as he sobbed out of fear and anguish. He never imagined he'd be dying inside his little brother's stomach. The soft wooshing of lungs had joined the fray but the heart had died down, softer than before but still present as his hand touched something thicker and seemed to block him off, only to have it yawn open, depositing him into a resting chamber.

The walls around him were uncomfortable, shifting curiously to try and feel him. Dream was quick to try and get to his feet, his head hitting the top of the stomach and causing him to slip back onto his back. He was scared to he in here, glancing around with hesitancy before he ended up noticing that he was sitting in a pool of liquid. The sensation on his skin wasn't one of burning, but he swore that it was! There was no other option other than that he was sitting in a pool of stomach acids.

The borrower found himself curled up against the wall that gave him the most amount of leniency. He covered his ears, not wanting to listen to the sounds around him. The thudding of a heart, the wooshing of lungs, but... most currently, the sound of gurgles and groaning that seemed to surround him but it was mostly coming from his right. He didn't want to die... let alone in the stomach of someone he saw as a brother.

He wasn't even thinking about the fact Tommy had eaten only an hour or two ago, yet nothing else was in here.

☆~°.•🦝🌱💿//+🪐

Techno was pretty used to his own silence. He enjoyed it when his students were in the classroom and learning but his free period was the best. He could read through the mix of essays and assignments without disruption or anything similar and focus on his own priorities without students bothering him every 5 minutes. He was in the middle of reading through a pretty good essay on, The God of That Summer when his eyes noticed a person standing in his doorway.

The man sighed as he pulled his glasses off and placed them down on his desk, finally turning to face the person as he spoke. "Can I help-" He started before pausing as he took in the sight of his little brother. Tommy's eyes were red and swollen, tear tracks still gracing his face as the teen made his way towards him. Techno got to his feet as Tommy approached before the man met him halfway. He could barely see the blue of the raccoon's eyes, telling him enough he understood what he needed to do. The piglin scooped his runt up, gently holding Tommy close as he closed the door to his classroom with his foot and quietly made his way back to his desk.

The piglin didn't take his hand off Tommy's back, gently rubbing between his shoulders as he carefully held him. "Hey Toms... You're pretty out of it kiddo." He found himself whispering. He would have assumed this was just an instinct rush if Tommy was purring, but the kit was doing none of the sort. The teen was trembling, his tail wrapped around his abdomen and his hands tight enveloping his shirt. His eyes drifted to the backpack by the door to his room, and he leaned back at his desk as he let his mind wonder to where his little brother was supposed to be.

He sighed as he pushed it aside, for now, he'll talk to Simmon later, Tommy was his priority.

☆~°.•🦝🌱💿//+🪐

Tommy blinked his eyes open and found himself curled up in the living room. His head was against something warm, and he heard the beating of a heart and soft, gruff purring that he recognized as belonging to his older brother. The teen felt his face flush red as he quickly moved to sit up, swinging his head up before a faint squeal left the person he was sitting on as his head hit something.

The teen looked forward, blinking as he took in the sight of Techno's head leaning back, the man's chin already turning a shade of red from where he'd head-butted him. "Shit- Sorry!" Tommy said quickly as he reached up to feel his brother's face, carefully nuzzling the piglin's chin to try and negate the hit despite knowing there was no real point in doing that.

Techno quickly pushed him away, "Stop it, I do not need your little kisses, Tommy." The man said simply, a fond laugh dancing on his voice.

"THEY-" Tommy started to raise his voice before he shoved it back down and cleared his throat, embarrassment spreading across his face. "They're not little kisses..." He grumbled. He didn't like it when they called his instincts cute little names like that but the stupid thing had stuck since he was a toddler.

The pink-haired man simply laughed for a moment before he calmed himself, cleared his throat, and spoke up: his face and voice seeming more serious.

"Tommy... Why did you run out of Squids' class?" The man asked simply.

The raccoon hybrid felt his ears lay back, looking up at him hesitantly before he fidgeted and gently picked at his hands. "Oh... um..." Tommy whispered, looking unsure as he glanced over his shoulder and placed his hands in his hoodie pocket.

The lack of a small form in the fabric sleeve made panic swell in his chest. Dream should still be in his pocket unless the blonde snuck out after they got home and that made no sense. The borrower would have immediately told Techno what happened and stayed to make sure everything was fine before he'd even consider running off to hide in the safety of the walls.

Tommy gave a nervous swallow before he glanced up and opened his mouth, "Mr. Squid... I don't think he likes me very much." He said calmly. There was no way he was going to get around this.

"Simmons not liking you is not gonna cause you to come to my classroom in the middle of a Panic-induced instinct attack, Tommy. What really happened?" The man said plainly, without any judgment or anger in his voice. Techno wasn't blaming Tommy despite how it sounded, he was just trying to make sure Tommy was honest and told him what he needed to know.

A whine left the raccoon-hybrid before he glanced over his shoulder and spoke up, not wanting to look his big brother in the eyes as he spoke. "He keeps singling me out... He makes me answer all the questions on pests and vermin..." Tommy mumbled as he let his gaze drift down to his lap, his hands having began to fidget at the ends of Techno's braid. "He made me tell the class about the side effects pesticides and poisons have on animals, specifically... raccoons."

Tommy kept quiet after he finished his sentence, his eyes not leaving his hands as he carefully messed with the end of the piglin's braid, he'd redo it if he had any gold beads or clamps to add to the intertwined hair but he didn't so there wasn't much of a point. It took a moment before his brother's big and callused hands gently cupped around his little ones, rubbing the back of the dorsal side of his hands.

"Shit, Toms... Why didn't you say something sooner?" The history teacher questioned as he leaned forward, placing their foreheads together as he gave a soft chuff. Tommy relaxed at the familiar position and sound, his mind able to relax at the piglin's sign of affection and care.

"I thought I was overreacting."

Technoblade sighed in response to that. "Either way, I could have talked to him and helped clear up the misunderstanding."

"I know..." He said softly before a soft movement in his abdomen caught him off guard. Tommy managed to not make a noise at the sensation, able to recognize the familiar weight of something sitting in his storage. He didn't fully understand it, he didn't remember eating anything, especially an asshole borrower or some kind of mouse, but he could worry about that later.

"Now," Shit... he missed everything Techno was saying. "You head upstairs and curl in your burrow till Dad gets home. I know for a fact he's gonna want you in the nest tonight." The piglin said simply as he picked the raccoon up and carefully placed the teen onto the floor. Tommy glared, trying to play off his lack of listening as his big brother began to head down the hallway, no doubt heading to the backyard to call someone, Tommy had a feeling he could guess who...

The teen groaned as he flopped onto his bed, toeing his shoes off as he hid his face in his pillow. The hybrid was annoyed that this day had gone so horribly. He could feel the soft weight shifting in his abdomen, quiet growls leaving his actual stomach as clawed hands dug into the walls of his storage. He needed to move whatever it was to his actual stomach before he had to deal with a sore organ for a few day.

The teen wasn't super used to this, pulling the squirming form up and out of his storage. He didn't like having to take them back up into his mouth, but it was something every human could do so it wasn't weird, before swiftly swallowing the form's body. Having half of a borrower in your throat and the other half in your mouth wasn't the best experience considering they're decently long, but this one was bigger than he was used to.

Tommy coughed a little as the form disappeared into his chest for a second time, no doubt less happy this time compared to the first. He didn't seem to mind at least, pulling himself out of bed to change into something more comfortable as his stomach gurgled, filling the tiny space with a squirming meal. He couldn't help the chittering purr that built in his throat, the more animalistic side of his brain enjoying the stimulation and sensation of something in his belly.

Either way, he didn't want to be himself right now. Letting his instincts take the reigns sounds nice as he crawls into his nest...

☆~°.•🦝🌱💿//+🪐

Dream had come to the idea that he was safe where he was. He'd been in here for a solid hour or so now and the saliva at the bottom had disappeared at this point. The walls were plush and slick but they didn't really move around him all that much, just reacting to his own touch from the looks of it and the sounds had died down a bit, mostly just being a gentle bubbling that had gotten quieter and seemed to grow further away.

He felt uncomfortable still, not entirely sure what was going on, whatever rush had caused Tommy to do this was still active so it wasn't like the two of them could have a proper conversation. The borrower had almost managed to doze off at the sound of Tommy's and, he's assuming Techno's, purring. He wouldn't normally like to get himself into their more sensitive moments since he wasn't an actual member of their family but it felt nice to be included for once even if neither of them was, at least not fully, aware of him at the moment.

He'd listened quietly as the two of them began to talk, pride swelling in his chest as Tommy told someone about the bad attitude that Mr. Squid had been showing. He shifted his weight, leaning forward to rub the wall he leaned against only to be squeezed. He released a soft yelp, not expecting it as his tail flicked around in annoyance.

He'd have to scold Tommy later, this may be a good place to hide him but that didn't mean he enjoyed being eaten and kept in a flesh sack. He felt as the teen moved around, smiling that his little brother was heading to his room. The soft sway of his movements was actually more than gentle. It made him sleepy but the borrower assumed it was his own instincts trying to trick him into feeling like it was a nest. It wasn't so he didn't want to stay in here much longer.

His peace was quickly interrupted by a growl, feeling the muscles against his back twitch as the rumbling sensation went down his spine. Dream physically cringed away from it, slipping to the other side of the stomach- He couldn't forget that he was laying in someone's stomach. The space wasn't fun, his movements were rather restricted and limited to the soft space.

The grow was followed by a rumble before a louder groan escaped the area as he pinned himself against the furthest wall he could, shaking a bit. This was fine... He wasn't in Tommy's real stomach, that much was clear to him, but it wasn't nice to hear the actual sounds of hunger just next to him.

"Tommy-"

Dream's words were interrupted as he was thrown into the wall to his right, the one of his left pushing him against it before the area squeezed. He clamped his eyes closed as his body was forced back into the esophagus, squirming due to the constricting space. His upper body was pushed back onto the teen's tongue, a shutter of relief leaving him as he reached forward to try and grab onto a fang, something for a safe hold to keep himself secure. He barely moved his hand before the tongue pushed into it.

The pause he felt, confusion etching his face, quickly turned into panic as the muscle rose higher, the grip on his waist loosening for a moment before a loud gulp sounded out. He was forced back down, a panicked yelp leaving him as he was tugged deeper once more. He clamped his eyes closed, trying to ignore the sensation as tears dripped down his face. He'd been safe, so close to being secure. Why was Tommy swallowing him again?! He didn't understand why this was happening.

He'd felt his legs being tugged into an open space again, his entire body following in moments. For a second he thought it was just the other stomach again before the acidic scent hit his nose. Within seconds he was on his knees, pressing his hands against the roof of the stomach as he glanced down. There was a very shallow puddle of murky water in the bottom. It carried the biting smell but it wasn't all that strong. He felt nervous as the organ gurgled, sounding pleased as it shifted around him.

Tommy was moving around him on top of the stomach, the purring he could hear was frightening, knowing his little brother was pleased to have him inside of his stomach. He was nervous as he pushed before he felt the teen crawl. He was assuming they were in the burrow now, a soft tingling forming on his foot as he shoved again, opening his mouth to yell.

"Tommy! Let me out of here!" He called out, feeling a weight settle over him. The purring was still going, having not faltered at his works. Dream growled before he looked over his shoulder. This wasn't a fun idea, but it seemed like his best bet as he shifted to look at the exit and then turned his eyes back to where he'd come in through.

"Fuck it..." He groaned before he crawled over, sitting in front of the sphincter hesitantly before he reached forward and shoved his hands into the area. It wasn't fun, feeling the strong muscles trying to contradict his choices, but Dream needed to make sure Tommy got him out. He refused to sit here and take it when he, a part of him, had a feeling that this wasn't intended. He'd seen the boy in instinct waves, Phil always said he needed to avoid him during these moments and now he understood why.

His legs were already burning. It wasn't a horrid sensation, but it felt like his legs were numb with the carbonated tingling that he often felt when he accidentally rested on his limbs wrong.

He shoved his way forward, his hands almost slipping on the slick flesh of the throat as he squeezed his head through the sphincter. Within seconds an unhappy gurgle sounded out before he was squeezed back down into the stomach, gasping for a moment before the plush walls closed in on him once more. A frightened yelp had been his sound of opposement, before he was quickly shoved up and out of the organ.

Dream loudly coughed as he was forced into a hand, shaking a bit as he lay on his stomach. He needed to relax and take a few moments to adjust to the light and no longer haveing soft flesh all around him. His tail wrapped around his leg as he glanced over at his little brother, an uncomfortable laugh leaving him at the unhappy look on the teen's face that swiftly turned to horror.

Tommy then spent the next 3 days basically constantly making sure Dream felt safe around him. He even would give the borrower little treats and help him do anything he asked. If Dream would occasionally ask to sleep on Tommy's abdomen, no one knows.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Thank you for reading! Sorry this ask took so long but any of the ones I haven't answered yet, I see you Bkdk person, and the two Tommy ideas, I promise I will get to those!

This was supposed to be a short story, maybe 1,000 words but instead it turned into this-

I don't regret writing this, but it took literally months. I've been working on this on and off for weeks now.

I hope you all enjoy it!

[richeeduvie]

can you pls write something about roman seeing baby jr as a newborn in the affair!au

Roman's fucking terrified. His kid isn't his kid and she came out too fucking early. He can't see her - he wants to rip his teeth and push dirt into his gums. Maybe then he'd feel better.

"Roman, you have to stop calling for now-"

"I'm coming. I love you. Don't be a fucking Mommy Bitch. Bye."

He hangs up, rolling his neck. He watches an old video of him and Baby, then emails something to Mencken's team. He sits with knees apart during the car.

Roman's come before, the first time seeing his daughter perfect in how scared and pissy in her being too tiny and needing fucking tubes to breathe.

He chokes and rolls the windows down. She's got his nose, she's okay to be picked up now - but every time he's forced to go home because he's not grey-haired Daddy...he can't sleep. He's getting twitchy and Shiv was pretty sure he was speaking Chinese at one point. She can't die without him there - that's a fucking insane thought, what the fuck? Why did that pop in?

But Roman's sure she'd get fat and not nicu-esque with him there.

"Where's my kid?"

"Roman. You can't just greet a room like tha-"

"Why isn't she here?"

She doesn't have to be in the nicu anymore, he came here to hold her. Where is she?

"They took her for some tests-"

He puts a hand on his hip, another raising up.

"Why? Fucking - why aren't you there? Why does she need fucking tests? You didn't call me?"

"They're routine tests. She's alright. They'll be bringing her back soon."

Roman gets shifty with his head movements and pinches his nose before letting go. Fine. Whatever. He should tell Dad they've been sharing vagina just to punish Baby.

"Roman, come here."

Roman listens, because it's her. Fine. Whatever. He comes into the hospital bed at her side, it's almost a hard landing.

"How was Dad today?"

"He's coming to visit later."

Roman's pretty sure he's gonna be better at this than Logan, that and the vagina holding. He peeks at the tiles.

"I deserve a blowie right now, unzip. You're probably lying to soothe me, so I'm betting we have some time before they bring the kid back he-"

There's a rolling of wheels and a smiling nurse - their daughter in that fucking glass cage. It makes Roman stand immediately, sick at the instant sight of her like that.

"She's all done and perfect. An a-student already, I'll just transfer her to the other crib-"

"Give her to me."

The nurse's face goes still. They blink an up and down at Roman.

"Are you a relati-"

"You hand babies over to the relevant people who ask. Scrubs don't equate to entitlement, Roberta. Give her to me."

Baby closes her eyes. The nurse sighs and takes his daughter, a bit chubbier - not enough, out of the crib and into his arms. They leave and Roman takes her in.

Fuck.

"She's doing good in weight, I know I've been updating, but you can feel it with every cuddle. Right?"

Roman doesn't say anything with her head to his nose. He doesn't smell that baby smell that's too specific. It's weird, but perfect. Baby watches him and guilt is on her skin, but she won't tell him that - not until he'll want to hurt her for doing to him. He will, even if it's not Roman-like to throw guilt at her.

A daughter so perfect will make anybody do anything.

"...I'm staying here tonight."

"Roma-"

"Dad's not gonna fucking visit. He's a great sort a Dad...I would know, I'm not gonna complain - but she didn't die, so he's not gonna make the daily check-up a priority. I'm staying here tonight. Don't fucking deny me."

Panic eats at his stomach. Roman fucking hates it, he doesn't get it and he wants to fist everything he doesn't get because he's thinking of his baby getting skinny and freaky-looking like sick babies do. That she's gonna die and he won't be there. Roman doesn't know why he's thinking of this, but it's hurting him.

"Please."

He feels pathetic in the begging, but he has to stay here so she can follow his breathing. He's been reading up on how babies learn and it's always very mimicky.

"...They'll wonder why you're setting a cot up here when you're her brother-"

"Shut the fuck up."

Roman murmurs it against his tiny, tiny baby's head. She's the most perfect thing he's ever seen and he wants to throw up. He fucking hates this panic and boiling...like what daddies feel. All of it without the damn name on his tag.

"I don't want to love her."

Baby's face softens, her hands twist.

"What?"

"You should've told me she was Dad's. I want to break my throat at the way I feel - you've given me nothing but a baby I can't see? And you what me? You're not stupid, you should know."

Roman, so slowly, careful in his terror and love, comes to sit on the ground with his and her's bundled baby.

"You should've told me she was Dad's if you wanted me to be pissy and just pissy about this. You don't me clean and squeaky when it comes to this."

"Okay."

Roman's brow twitches at a baby noise in his arms. His heart beats faster.

"Do you hear me?"

"Okay. I know."

And she does. Baby accepts it with a lean over, hand through his hair. No matter what, Roman will accept a touch from her too.

It's why he'll accept this hand you given him, if it means he can forget. Just for a little bit, with every soft rock and stare at his baby.

[szilianna]

I wrote this a while ago and I just found this in my notes app, unfinished and now I decided to finish it. It's all sfw!!! I hope you guys like it:3

Eris x Reader

When did I learn to write like the average Wattpad fanfiction writer wtf (looking back at it, it's nothing like that😭)

That's it. Everything is over now. You've everything. The last thing you've felt is someone, possibly a pillager dragging you out of your hiding place, that was under the bed in a small house. You failed to protect your village and was defeated by the illagers. Now, all your friends, belongings, and even your life might be taken away. As you're being dragged by your hand through a field, mud and dirt get into your wounds. You can also hear several illagers and witches still celebrating their victory. You can hear the cries of children, and the cruel laughs of the illagers, as they prepare themselves to leave, and take what now belongs to them back to the mansion and outposts.

When you wake up, you find yourself in a cell. You can barely see anything, you can only feel how cold and hard the rough, dirty cobblestone floor is. Some illagers' voice gets to you from afar. They seem to be arguing about something. Next thing you know is the rusty iron door that the cell is sealed with opens, and a tall, balding vindicator yanks you out of the cell. You groan in pain as you fall on the dusty, yellowish birch wood floor, right in front of the feet of the vindicator leader's son, but you don't know it yet, the only thing you know is that you're not dead yet, and you're grateful for that.

- I'll take care of it then. This will have good use... There's always something to do around here, isn't there, Mr? - the vindicator then looks at the evoker that he was previously talking to, only to see that he no longer seems to be interested.

- Just take it Mr. I don't need your reasoning. I know what your desires are with it... To torture and kill, that's all you're good for. Now go, bring this pathetic human out of my way. And call the guard back.- the evoker demanded, then walked around the other cells to inspect the villager children. He was hoping they're just asleep or unconscious, and not dead from starvation, horrible treatment or fear.

You felt the vindicator's strong arms picking your weak body up from the floor, and carrying you like nothing. Unlike most vindicators, he was way more gentle, less clumsy, and didn't grunt as much. He carried you upstairs to the 2nd floor, where his room was. You were barely conscious as he put you down on his soft, wool bed, then covered you with the thick, red wool blanket. The mansion was colder than any structures you've been in before (aside from the ocean temple), your teeth started clattering unwantedly.

- You'll get used to it. - he said... Or was the vindicator really a "he"? His voice sounded way more womaly now, while just minutes ago, he spoke to an evoker with a deep, male voice. You almost ended up thinking about it, but your head was hurting like crazy, just like every single part of your body, so your main focus was now on trying to distract yourself from the pain. Your eyes were squeezed shut, and your whole face and body was stricky from blood and dirt. You felt disgusting, and the dry substances made your skin irritated, but you were so weak and wounded you couldn't even open your eyes.

- You though ya' could just defeat us? - you felt the bed move a little. Seems like the vindicator sat down next to you.

- You'll need way more power for that! And a bit more... Bravery... And cruelty... Ya' won't be a fighter till you don't know when to spare and when to kill. You're just a weak lady messing with my nation! But in the end, I have a little slave in exchange for walking a few miles and killing some helpless people... - you suddenly felt cold hands brushing over your bruised cheeks. You whined in pain as you gathered all your strength to pull away. Maybe you're going to die if you dare to resist the vindicator. You were almost 100% sure the vindicator you were so afraid of is a lady. Her voice, even though it was deep and harsh, it sounded a bit more feminine. The vindicator lady laughed at your pathetic attempt of trying to get away from her touch, and gently slapped your cheek, to which you teared up. She was strong judging by just the way she picked you up so effortlessly, and by the way her slaps hurt, even though she clearly didn't put any strength into it.

Then, you decided to slowly open your eyes to look around. In the dimly lit, spacious room you could see a table with some gray thing and a flower pot with no flower inside it. Your vision was still recovering and you were still not completely in a good state. It was maybe early evening? you thought.

- You finally woke up? - the vindicator lady asked, although it was obvious. You glanced over at her, only to face her looking at you with her cold, dark blue eyes. "Why doesn't she kill me?... Did she like... Is she stupid?" you wondered, but at the same time you were grateful for still being able to live. You kept eye contact with her for a few seconds, then when you couldn't endure her starte for longer, you looked away. While you could though, you took a look at her face and clothes as well. Her skin was pale gray, with not a single spot or imperfection on it. "Must be makeup." and you were right, it was make-up. Although she didn't look girly at all.

(finishing it rn because this is an absolutely diabolical ending)

She looked nothing like the women you saw back in your hometown... Probably because she was an illager, so it was a bit of a culture shock for you. Were all of them like this? You couldn't decide.

You watched the vindicator lady as she stood up, then walked to what you figured was a chest... There were almost no lights in the mansion, except for the hallways... And it was way too dark for your eyes to get used to it. So you could barely see anything. There was only a torch in the room serving as a ligh source, but it was at the door so it was basically good for nothing. You could see the vindicator's figure slowly getting closer to you with what seemed like some strange potion and some bandages in her hand. She sat down on the bed, then firmly took your hand... It wasn't pleasant. Neither was the substance she poured all over your hand. It stung and burnt but only for a few seconds... Before the sensation completely disappeared and for some reason, your hand wasn't hurting anymore.

- It's a healing potion - The vindicator said like this was some kind of basic knowledge that everyone knew, her tone was grumpy and annoyed... Like all illagers'. Though you've had some experience with potion brewing, you never actually cared about it, or memorized their names even though it wasn't hard. You nodded weakly. Then you felt her grab your other arm... And then your legs... Your torso too... And finally, your face. She poured the last few drops on a piece of cloth, and grabbed some of your hair with one hand, while she pressed the cloth against your bruised face multiple times, until all the wounds were gone. You felt exhausted and hungry, since your body had to heal so fast. You looked up at her as she let go of your hair, letting your head fall back onto the mattress. She wasn't necessarily bad looking she was just... She looked like an illager woman. Thick brows... Shit ton of makeup, which only caught your eyes because you've never seen anyone with this much makeup before... The villagers didn't wear any... Guess it's another illager thing that you found a bit strange.

Then without any explanation, she picked you up, then put you down on the bed again, this time more gentle.

- Rest, human. - She said as she patted your freshly healed shoulder, then she left the room. You looked at the bandages on the table, wondering what the hell she needed them for. She probably put them here by accident... She looked exhausted too. Not even exhausted... Like seriously sleep deprived. And now you "took" her bed. Even if it wasn't your fault, you felt a bit guilty for her. Since it was late at night, you tried to fall asleep, but could hardly do it since it was cold and you felt uneasy being surrounded by all these deadly creatures.

After a while, the vindicator came back. She was holding a plate with leftover food on it. She kneeled down in front you, then took a piece of food and offered it to you. It was some gross looking meat... But you still ate it. You were hungry after all. Something about this vindicator felt off yet comforting at the same time... How a creature this brutal could care for her mortal enemy this gently... That fascinated you.

She put the empty plate on the table, then she touched your face again

- You're cold aren't you? - *She asked, even though the answer was obvious. Humans aren't used to these conditions, and the illager woman knew that. She took her coat off, you saw that she's wearing multiple layers underneath, a black waistcoat and a red shirt, and probably some bottom layers as well. And she looked strong... You've never seen a woman this muscular before. She then unexpectedly laid down next to you, pulled the blanket over herself and you too, then cuddled you tightly. She didn't smell like she's showered in the past few days, but her warmth was comforting. You were a bit shocked by the gesture though, unaware that this was a completely normal everyday thing for illagers to prevent each other from freezing to death at night. Not even a minute later, she was asleep, snoring loudly, which made it hard for you to relax. Eventually, you were so tired that you were unbothered by all that, and you too, after some struggles, fell asleep.

The next day, you couldn't find the vindicator lady, only a note on the table. You could hardly read it since she didn't really know how to write. You were familiar with their runes, you learnt it from the villagers already.

"I won't be coming back until late evening. Don't leave the room. You could get yourself in danger"

You just nodded to yourself, too scared to leave the room anyways... You spent your whole day reading the books on her bookshelf, and drawing on some scrap paper... You finally heard the door open, and you were convinced it was the vindicator lady. However, she had some company with her... An old evoker, and another vindicator.* There they are. *She said, her voice was cold. You couldn't react as it happened all too fast. You were grabbed by the other vindicator, then before you could say anything, he knocked you out by slamming your head onto the desk.

That's when it all clicked... You're nothing to them... Just another experiment.

I hope you guys liked what you read :3333 i could write more stuff like this, both illager au and canon lore

[tblsomedoodles]

As the floor fell form beneath him, Leo exchanged one last desperate look at the boy next to him before his feet fell beneath him and darkness consumed his vision. He felt someone grab at his shell, hear the disting sound of a zipping as Casey tried to stop their fall only for the hook not to find a grip and the two of them to collapse, rubble slamming in top of them. The past thing Leo saw before the rubble buries him was his own hand pushing the kid out of the way.

He drifted, lost in a swirling vortex of images as they flashed by his eyes too quickly to see and disembodied voices jumbled together, unclear in their context. It swirled and jumbled together. One image showed Mikey and Donnie being turned knto kraang, the sound of Leo telling Casey Jr to close the portal, the image of his brothers being blown from the top of the ship, the sound of him begging Raph to snap out of some sort of mind control. He saw Raph kill him... and then he saw the kraang beating him as they were both trapped, claiming he had ruined everything.

He isn't sure how long he'd slept, as he groaned. Coughing, he tried to stand, hissing at the aches and pain as he shoved a broken signpost off his shell.

"Casey!" He called out, worried as he fell over, hand going to his plastron. Leaning back, he tried again.

"Casey, you okay?"

Rubble moved as Casey shoved it off of him, groaning. Seeing the boy alive, Leo immediately activated his comm, trying to reach Donnie and Mikey. No answer. The sound of the dirt and rubble shifting told Leo the future kid was approaching as he took stock of his injuries.

"What the heck was that!?"

Judging by the tone, Leo doesn't thing itz the crazy kraang monster the kid his future self cared so much about was talking about.

"Some kind of freaky kraang monster..." he tried to divert the attention anyways, struggling to stand. It didn't work as Casey snapped back at him, asking just what he was trying to do and why he didn't listen.

"I... I was trying to get us into the building."

"Well that sure worked well, didn't it!" Casey grunted. It didn't work out well at all, Leo thought.

"How could it have gone so wrong..." he groaned out loud, flinching as Casey snapped back,

"YOU WEREN'T LISTENING TO YOUR TEAM!"

"I'm supposed to be the greatest ninja who ever lived... you said that-"

"I was wrong." Casey sighed, "You're arrogant! You're impulsive! And every decision you make could cost someone their life!!"

"That's not-" Leo gasped out before he could stop himself. He turned away, biting his thumb to keep himself from admitting the one thing he swore not to. He knew that it was risky, he knows his decisions will probably get everyone killed, he'll he knows this all too well. Things are just... they're going way too fast! Casey even said Raph hadn't been captured in the original timeline which means everyone is going so much worst, so much faster, and there's nothing Leo can do!! He turns away, not wanting Casey to see his face.

Casey follows, continuing his rant as he throws out the biggest bombshell,

"Do you want to know what REALLY happens to everyone int he future!?"

'They die, and it's all my fault!' Leo thought the same time Casey says the damning words,

"They die! Everyone DIES fighting the Kraang!"

Leo was staring, unsweing in front of him as the memories of countless dreams, countless visions washed over him. Thw horror that what he saw was true and real silencing him. Casey continued,

"The world needs Master Leonardo, and all we got is THIS guy!"

As if to prove his point, Casey tossed something down. A picture, the very same one that had started this whole mess. The one Leo had seen countless times in his dreams. If floated down, landing at his feet. He saw more than felt his hand reach down to pick it up, staring at the faces of his friends and family, back in a happier time. A time that likely won't even come to pass now because he screwed up so badly. He heard Casey stalk out, trying to dig himself out of the hole.

Leo didn't move, staring silently at tbe photo. He had failed, he knew from the very beginning he would. Time Travel his ass, he was a goddamn Doom Prophet who saw the Kraang destroying the world a hundred times in his dreams, why did he think that jsut because one kid had shown up that he'd be able to change things! That he could ever stop it! He should have just done what he'd been thinking of the moment he had the first dream and run off, Pops would have just put Raph back in charge and nobody would have to deal with hsi screw ups destroying the world!

It wouldn't have helped anyways.

Thinking back on it, he was out white awhile. He's surprised he didn't have a vision... or... did he...

OOh poor Leo! He is going through so much right then and it's so confusing! That poor kid needs a break!

Thank you! This was so cool! I loved it! : )

[buglyknight]

336) Fuckin' Sick.

Another sleepless night

I stay awake

Wait for you by the lake

Belly of Brandy

Once a week

Make me creep

Will you touch my hand?

Poke at my chest?

Leave me shirtless?

Soaked by sprinklers?

Fuck you

Fuck me

Give me everything

Take my sleep

I'll get by with blisters on my feet

I walk barefoot to my car

Step on pebbles

Every step is worth it

No matter how much it hurts

I'll tip toe across asphalt

-

You call me when you're ready

You laugh when I haven't even done anything

I sprint into view and stand beneath the lamppost

I pose

Laughter

Your laughter is sunlight

It's the greatest feeling in the world

To be by your side

You show me your new tattoo

While you tie your shoe on the fire hydrant

You tie your hair up

I stare are you do it, mesmerized

I tuck my laces into my shoes

I whisper to the schizophrenic spiders

I pick up from a bush

You yell at me because you can't hear what I'm saying

Is she on to us?

We almost got her

Quiet down guys she's going to hear you

She's pretty amazing, right?

You tell me I can't talk to them anymore

We try to web you up

Hit your nose ring

We're aiming for your neck like a garrote

We take a walk down to a nearby high school

When I whisper you tell me to yell

So I start yelling the lies I was whispering

You chide me

Don't yell them if they're lies

I have so much fun with you

Making you laugh is wonderful

Until your head is in your hands with giggles

A small bird lands nearby

I say he's just a friendly lil guy

You say he's probably going to die

He isn't flying away

You say the bird and I are the same

Just- not the death part

When I'm 95, we agree to die together

Triple digits only 5 years away?

We can make it.

Let's live for 75 more years together.

I'll love you all the same.

I promise it.

You threaten to push me in the canal

I stand next to the edge daring

You don't

You threaten to push me over in the grass

You couldn't

Obviously, I'm too strong

Impossibly strong, even

You shoulder check me and I fake a tumble

You admonish me laying in the dirt

You brush the leaf off my back

You threaten to walk home

I call the bluff

You turn back

Grab my arm

Unhand me!

But touch me please, grab onto me!

It's all I have ever wanted

You say I'm small

I'M AVERAGE

Just like that frog

Or the bird

Or the tattoo

Or the alligator

Just an average

Good size

A regular size

You are adamant that it's puny

I agree

Don't say 'yeah' like that

We walk back and

hold hands

I am brimming with joy

Someone kill me now

I'll die the happiest man alive

Then we hold pinkies

You point out when I bring you close

I really wasn't meaning to!

But you say it's cool so..

sick

I'm doing it on purpose now, for sure

You say you're about to pass out

I offer to carry you

We rest at the gableblo

I pretend to be an alpha male

WHICH I AM

Of course

I'm tough, I'm cool

I don't s-stammer my words

I know how to pick up chicks

I get mad amounts of babes

Laid on the daily

I have huge muscles

I'm NOT insecure

I strike a pose

Sometimes, you try to copy them

So, you on the menu?

Let's start over.

Want to have sex?

One more time.

I want you inside me

Wait-

Oh, that one's okay?

Laughter

Your joy is contagious

We look at constellations

I finish endlessly trailing thoughts

Accidentally cut you off

You never finish the thought

Tell me what you were saying! I'm sorry!

I was just thinking out loud!

I get real close to your face

Brim of my hat on your head

We stare at each other wordlessly

Try to fit each other into the light

I squash my imaginary spiders

So that you won't walk home just yet

You get closer as I lean against the railing

Even closer as we look at the stars

You say you'd fight me and as I ready up

Spread my arms out wide

You-

Unexpectedly lean in

Oh, God,

Let me live here forever

I wrap my arms around you

Rub your shoulder and back

With the cruel right-hand

I don't think about it

You rub my forearm

My bicep

My elbow

Is this okay?

You say it is

fuckin' cool,

sick.

Someone kill me now, again!

I'll die the happiest man alive

You're rocking your hip into my thigh

I can't tell if it's on purpose or not

You shift and stop

Bend your back slightly

I must admit, I did look a little

I hold you tight

My hand presses against your stomach

You comment how warm it is

How large they are

I ask if it's okay

You say it is

Again I respond

oh, fuckin',

sick

Let me live here forever, like it's the last time

You're going to walk home again

I'm going to walk away again

What a lovely and awful feeling

Always too short

As we leave you

Thank me for loving you

I say 'Yeah, I love you so much'

And

YOU

SAY

IT

BACK

I am brighter than every star

I am as infinite as the universe

I am-

Soaking Wet.

As the sprinklers turn in our direction

You get behind me, trying to pull me away

But only end up using me as a shield

Right after you said that!

You brat!

I get blasted with water

I only want to hug you more

What a beautiful moment

Let it define me, forever

I'll keep you safe from the water

We walk back and hold hands again

I bring you close

You pinch me

That'll be your new thing, you say

We hug twice

I just don't want to let you go

I sigh out my wow's on the walk back

I touch my own skin like it's ethereal

Imagine you touching my face

My heart flutters, I just want to hold you again

What a beautiful world

To exist with you in it

The backlash creeps in quickly

So, I start begging God

Say a prayer to divinity I don't believe in

Isn't he supposed to be love?

Then why can't I have this always?

Say my vows?

Or is he plague and famine?

Or maybe I'm just some

Dumb ape

You call me on the drive back

I read to you when I get home

listen to you rustle as you fall asleep

Make small noises, small movements

I rest my eyes while I listen

Keep alarms blaring in my ears so I stay awake

When you hang up suddenly, I get up

Late for work

Too busy listening to you

Pretending I am there.

[corner-master]

Imagine Danny gaining at first a passive interest in bee's due to Sam talking about how she'd prefer sourcing honey from local bee farms over commercial honey makers. It technically counts as plant-based which means, given her particular brand of vegetarianism, it therefore is among the many hills she'll proudly die on to project her beliefs to the world at large.

Unfortunately for everyone during the last ghost attack one of the latest casualties happened to be the local beekeepers hives. Given the amount of loss said beekeeper's have chosen to close shop and relocate elsewhere that doesn't have a ghost infestation. Sam's a bit bummed at first, but then decides she'll start her own farm, and basically drags Danny and Tucker into her latest passion project. She even manages to buy the plot of land the bee hives used to be on for dirt cheap (possibly one of the only benefits that come out of the attacks).

Sure, at first Danny and Tucker are pretty reluctant because they're teenagers and why would they want to spend the little free time they have between school and the occasional ghost fights working? The whining only lasts until Sam tells them it's basically passive money making, and you only spend a couple days out of the year actually harvesting the honey. The rest of the time can be spent just keeping the bee's safe from pests and predators and just keeping them happy, which really isn't a lot of work. The Moment Tucker hears money, he's sold, and Danny decides that since both his friends are in he might as well join them.

This is where things start to get interesting because one of the first things they do is sit down to spitball ideas at one another on how to make this a success. Tucker's motivation in the project is purely the profits and doing a little research quickly brings up the fact that Mono-floral hives, that is hives that feed on a single species of flowers, produce honey that can be sold for more than standard wild honey. Sam immediately jumps in and says that she won't be introducing any invasive species to the area. Tuck argues that they're just flowers, and Sam counters that if they spread it could screw over the native populations, and she wasn't willing to have that particular travesty attached to her name.

Just as the two are about to get into another explosive row defending their stances Danny pipes up that he could make something to keep everything contained.

For this particular idea, I'm going off the personal head-canon that despite his academic grades Danny is in fact a Bonafide genius much like the rest of his Family. He has a particular affinity in ecto-based mechanical engineering but he's no slouch in any of the sciences. Granted, It's kind of hard not to pick up these things when your parents are disassembling the random tech parts they scavenge from the junkyard and reassembling them into semi-functional contraptions at the dining table. You tend to pick them up even faster when you have to sometimes finish fixing it up so it doesn't blow up in your face but... well, that's not what's important right now. What is important is that Danny has the ability to manufacture an ecto-plasmic barrier that can easily keep everything neatly contained.

But this is only the beginning.

A spark has been ignited and, just like every other member of his family that has come across a problem that has caught their interest, it quickly consumes him.

Over the next couple hours he dives deep into researching all the current and prior methods of beekeeping, identifying all the pros and cons and problems that these methods come across and modifying them with a little Fenton ingenuity. He quickly settles on the using the Bottle Colony method to house the hives for multiple reasons:

1: Using human safe plastic bottles are lighter and therefore easier to maneuver around, as well as allow for transparent viewing of the Hive to make it easier to identify problems that need to be addressed.

2: The actual transparency of the bottle won't be a problem either. All they'll need to do is make some slip on insulators that'll block out the light and also regulate the temperature so the bee's neither fry when it gets hot nor freeze when winter sets in, so the bee's can stay content year-round.

2: Colony degeneration often occurs because the cells used to house the larvae will grow smaller with each consecutive use, resulting in smaller and smaller bees. This may also lead the queen to start laying eggs in the upper part of the hive where the honey is stored instead of the lower parts. By swapping out the top bottles and adding fresh ones at the bottom, this will allow the hives to keep the brood down low and reuse the upper cells for honey instead.

3: Wood hives have a tendency to get wet and develop mold which can not only affect the health of the colony but affect the honey as well. And while yes, the bottles themselves can also become wet, they show a significantly much lower chance of producing mold, given that the moisture would run down the sides of the bottle to the opening at the bottom instead of absorbing into the material itself.

4: The bottle method is largely contactless, which unlike the wooden frame method would cause less disturbance to the bees. it also would reduce the chances of getting stung.

5: Unlike the wooden frame structures which usually have to make contact with the ground, bottle colonies can be left suspended in the air or attached to the sides of buildings or posts, further limiting the intrusion of smaller pests.

6: Intangibility~ while this is mostly limited to him, he could just reach into the plastic bottles and easily carve out sections of honeycomb, instead of having to cut open the bottles and then discarding the plastic waste in the recycle bin. This would also make it easy to remove the queen cells to prevent swarming.

Oh, but remember that Fenton ingenuity he mentioned? Using this particular method, he could hook up a little dispensary system that can not only spread the antibiotics and medicine that will help keep the bee's healthy, but even shoot out smoke when the time comes to harvest so the bees remain calm. Heck, they could even be used to dispense sugar syrup so the bees would have more resources to replace the honey harvested.

Not only this, but he could easily set up a containment chamber that would capture a large percentage of the drones inhabiting the hive and let him safely relocate them to be disposed elsewhere because the drones? largely useless outside of mating. They have no stingers, so they can't defend the hive. They can't even eat unless they get help from the worker bees, which means wasted resources on what is about ten percent of the population, when only a handful would actually be necessary to breed queens from foreign hives. Which could be done in an enclosed space to ensure best breeding practices.

"But what about the Bee Inspectors?" Sam Pipes up from the Couch her and Tucker have sitting on, watching Danny basically Spiral into a "Fenton™" brainstorm. "Some places require inspectors to be able to pull out the sections of hive so they can check for mites or other problems. Thats why most beekeepers use frames, since otherwise the inspectors might force them to destroy the hive."

"My parents have built any number of devices that were designed to detect ghosts..." Danny replies, after a pause to take in this unexpected road bump. "... it wouldn't exactly be hard to reprogram one or two of them to scan the hives for a more normal kind of pest."

He sighs, dragging a hand down the side of his face. "And that's assuming we'd even have to deal with any inspectors that didn't choose to treat us like a bunch of lepers the moment they saw me. Fenton, remember?" he said, waving a hand up and down himself.

Sam and Tucker both wince in sympathetic pain at the reminder of just how...well-known Danny's parent's have become in recent years.

"And if one happens to be brave enough to stick around and decides the scanner isn't good enough, we can always take one of Vlad's old bugs lying around and repurpose it to give us an inside view." Danny snorts, turning back to his notes. "At least one of the Fruitloops "gifts" could be useful for once."

"Moving on-"

As for Tuckers idea for Mono-floral honey? Vertical Flower gardens. That way there's more flowers for that hive to get nectar from in the limited space provided by the shields.

Get Tucker to set up alerts that will let them know if they needed to check up on anything and boom! All the hard work (for now) is done.

*this is also all I got for now. This is just the version where I set things up for a largely normal bee farm. this isn't even getting into the intricacies of what ectoplasmic exposure will do to these bee's or their byproducts. I'm going let someone else go down the eldritch path, for now, I'm out.*

Danny Phantom AU where he’s a beekeeper

[noir-drabbles]

List of OC's

Take your pick. Many of them might not be sorted into a universe. My brain is scrambled so things are subject to change. Some of them won't have names cause I haven't decided.

Valenio Mara

The Goliath, feared by many that live within the darker sea. He is not a legend so much as he is a catastrophe, always hungry, always consuming. Cursed by the abyss to grow and grow until he consumed it all. Until then, he will not die.

How unfortunate that he follows you.

Valenio has been sleeping for quite a long time, for so long that he even has a city on his back. Yes, he is that huge. He is a merperson with the tail of a whale, but it does have extra bits and gills that separate him from the rest. He also hasn't spoken for quite a long time. Well, that is until he met you. You can only imagine how rumbly his voice is, how disused it must be.

Rakan Mara

Away from the rest of civilization is a man blessed by a most beloved sea god. He is the barrier, the protector, the one meant to keep The Goliath out.

For all his blessings, he cannot move from where he lives, for the barrier is a bone-like coral reef that grows from him. And yet, you managed to free him.

Rakan is treated and respected by many, but one can tell that he has a slight, disdain whenever talk of the sea god pops up in any conversation. However, he's treated as a sort of caretaker of the dead. Whenever you want your loved ones to have a grave, Rakan will always provide it.

He's the older step brother of Valenio.

Antas M. Agoria

Ah, so this is embarrassing but he came in a dream where superheroes and villains and the like have since been relegated to simple acting roles, as a means of enacting the bygone days of heroism without the actual collateral damage and civilian lives lost. They're basically a means of separating celebrity culture from heroes so as to not interfere with their work.

Now this is just a form of entertainment.

In this dream, the stages were huuuuge. And I do mean city wide stages. They're not actually buildings, just fake copies of these things, meant to crumble easily.

So anyways, Antas used to play the role of a villain, the classic mastermind behind everything kind of thing, while looking beautiful while doing it?

Ash

When he was in the prime of his youth, he was a favorite among the other test subjects. However, such a time has long past.

Now, he will be fed to you. As a final, deprecating comment to himself, this older man had claimed the name Ash. One throws them away once you're done, right?

A man around his late thirties who has been used and subject to all sorts of experiments in an attempt to understand how the human body reacts to all these strange, almost divine beings that have recently appeared in this world. At least, that's what the original goal was.

Now this facility has since shifted from that goal to make their own divinity. With that goal in mind, why would they have any need for Ash? And so, he became your first sacrifice, to you, a most inhuman and flesh bending divine being. However, you didn't eat him. You kept him.

The White Beast

A successful of a human and a divine. A large creature, slow to speak, slow to register. A most gentle man. And yet, he does not remember anything beyond the walls of this place.

He bows to no one, but to you, he will kiss the tiles you walk upon.

No one really knows what makes him angry. One thing they do know is that he is fine being completely alone. A pale beast who, when he walks on fertile dirt, makes vegetation appear. He is a very vital person/creature in this world everyone lives in. As such, he is a highly protective creature.

Delicate Servant (Ayel)

Essentially, he is a very beautiful man, long pastel pink hair with the reddest of eyes and he serves you with full faith and loyalty. By all means, he looks more suiting for the role of a prince or some royal title. I'm debating whether he should have some demonic blood in him, but either way, he has this weird ability to enchant many. But he doesn't want to.

Unfortunately he ends up catching the eyes of a duke and his wife who want nothing more than to possess him.

He is innocent and wouldn't wish misfortune onto anyone, but upon you being in danger, he had to switch his tune.

Duke

A stoic man, feared and politically powerful to the point that streets will make even his walks an event. Anyone that gets in his way are punished not by the duke, but by the people themselves.

He and his wife actually get along really well, all things considered. But now they're both fascinated with your Delicate Servant and want nothing more than to possess him.

And yet, both he and his wife can't stop looking at you too.

Duchess

A femme fatale type of woman who married the Duke for the protection it provides to her reputation. That and he's a long time friend of her's so this arrangement is much better than a stranger.

She has no shortage of lovers but has trouble finding anyone that will truly entertain her on the same level as the Duke. That is, until you and your delicate servant.

Fire Bringer

Honestly, he came in a dream to me. Basically he's a man constantly on fire, in a world that is basically a zombie-ish apocalypse. But in this case it's demons. I thiiiink he's a demon. I distinctly remember he had a sword and is chasing after his own fellow demons for the sake of fight rather than anything good.

Well, he is also chasing you, for you managed to make a contract with a particularly powerful demon who carries you everywhere.

Also he's naked. Yeah.

Contracted Demon

He is someone that you once hated, but his mind no longer remembers anything. He was frightened, and in his panic, made a contract with you so he isn't left alone. Despite his large size and wolf like appearance, he defers to you, always.

He was once a demon that ruled over others. And now that his memories are gone, many will come after him in an attempt to steal his powers.

Prince (Saerus)

An eager and heavily abused man that wants nothing more than the approval of his father. However, the King does not cherish him in the way he cherishes you, the deity chained under this palace.

As long as you're here, this place will be untouched by war. But your wrath, quietly boiling under your skin, is warping this place.

Be careful when asking about him, he has suffered a number of abusive events that range from verbal to physical to sexual assault. He is not a light story.

Ex Vampire King (Caphriel)

Once a respected Vampire King, he as been betrayed by his own nobles who think he's too soft to deserve his position. He had appointed you, a human, as a guard for his youngest son. Strange, as well as disappointing.

After the massacre of his family, including his youngest, you had disappeared, and the Vampire King had closed his realm from any and all foreigners.

Only then did his nobles strike.

He managed to escape, away from his palace and into the realm of man. Bruised and bloody, he collapsed on your doorstep.

[dreamersscape]

In Which I Attempt to Wreak Havoc Upon Panharmonium's Heart. Or Something.

Because I am an awesome friend, clearly, and possibly making people sad/verklempt is definitely an excellent way to (belatedly 😔 but I did start before the 15th!) celebrate Kakashi's birthday, right? ;)

I will admit up front that this is nowhere near as deftly structured and compiled as your Kakashi fanmix, @panharmonium, but that is precisely why I'm not even going to try to organize all these songs into individual playlists. Yet. Plus, I have a tendency to over-explain so this way I can better expound on why certain songs remind me of certain characters. Sorry that I sorta went a little... overboard?

Everything--except a few that aren't available on spotify, I'll link to them directly--can be listened to HERE.

What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson | Kakashi → I may be a little biased with this one because it fits SO many of my favorite characters so well, somehow, but there's just something about the upbeat/tongue-in-cheek musical cues/delivery of lines such as 'I visit hell on a daily basis, and I see the sadness in all your faces' that just feels so Kakashi to me.

Happy Ending - MIKA | Kakashi → This is presumably a breakup song, but I enjoy it so much more in a non-romantic context (and the song itself isn't really boxed in with overtly romantic framing, so I appreciate that!). Anyway, some very important instructions IMO for listening to this with Kakashi in mind: everything before the bridge is about Kakashi up through his ANBU years, but when you get to the 'little bit of love' refrain, picture Kakashi meeting Tenzo, and then becoming Team 7's sensei, opening back up to Gai, adopting all the other leaf genin, assimilating Sai and Yamato into Team 7, and it keeps building with Kakashi gaining more and more loved ones to fill the hole in his heart, and then cry tears of joy with me! Just my personal suggestion. :D

Light - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team 7 (/all his kids)

with every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath

→ I've seen this song used for ship vids and I'm all ????? about that because this is clearly a song about the love you have for your child! But I suppose if one of my favorite pastimes is aggressively re-interpreting love songs in non-romantic ways, I can't begrudge the opposite process... too much, lol.

Heroes - MIKA | Team Minato

your blood on me/and my blood on you/but to make you bleed/the only thing I wouldn't do/.../I wish there was a way/to give you a hand to hold/'cause you don't have to die in your glory/die, to never grow old

Long Lost Friends - Transit | Kakashi & Obito

how long/do you have to say that/this is not the person I used to know/you are not the person I used to know/.../because lately, you've been looking at me like you've seen a ghost/and isn't it obvious who's been missing who the most

→ What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck!

Against the Voices - Switchfoot | Kakashi

'cause everybody knows/the hardest war to fight/is the fight to be yourself/when the voices try to turn you into someone else

Out of the Darkness - Matthew and the Atlas | Obito? Yamato? Kakashi? Itachi & Sasuke? Naruto & Kurama? → I'm a bit undecided about this one, or if I should just not worry about choosing one character and just let myself feel all the "inner darkness is not an innate characteristic, Danzo! They're just grieving/in a lot of pain, and they can find their way out of that dark place!" feels.

Save A Place - 1969 | Kakashi & Sasuke

so I'll keep away and save a place for you/and I'll only make the same mistakes as you/.../when all the blood all over your fingers is dried up/the pain will still linger

→ I'm not uber-confident in picking out really fitting Kakashi & Sasuke songs yet, but I hope this hits a lot of the right notes for you. :)

Thrive - Switchfoot | Kakashi

I'm always close, but I'm never enough/I'm always in line, but I'm never in love/I get so down, but I won't give up/I get so down, but I won't give up

→ See, it says right there that he's never in love! Not the crux of the song, and he's not always 'in line' either, but still! :)

Disarm - The Civil Wars | Kakashi & Obito

the years burn, burn, burn

→ I don't know how I keep collecting fictional relationships that work so well for this song, but literally every single line of this song hits so hard for these two?? Will never recover from this. (Also, I usually disregard when 'my love' pops up in the last line of the chorus, as the mood dictates. :) It's pretty incidental as is IMO.)

Renaissance - Paolo Buonvino & Skin | Sakumo & Obito & Kakashi & Naruto

let me show you one last time/let me show you one last sign/you can find it/I can't say that I can change the world/but if you let me, I can make another world for us/let me suffer all for you/make this vision all brand new/we can fight them/I can't say that I can win it all, [but] come with me and I will make my words stand tall

→ Okay, this is a very odd choice given that it's actually the theme song for a different show about the Italian renaissance (if you happen to see this, Mirjam, don't hate me!), but this could be IT! The "those who break the rules are scum, but those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum" anthem that's all about building a better world based on these principles! I really hope our sharing-a-brain talent translates to listening to this song in this way because I am feeling SOME KIND of way about this!

The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos | Kakashi → I really liked the song you chose from this album for your fanmix, so now I've feeling a tiny bit too on-the-nose with my choice, but I guess this is just a Kakashi album all around. 😆

Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route | Kakashi(+ Obito) & Sasuke(+ Itachi)

memories as heavy as a stone/ I am empty, in my end you are my beginning

This Is Home - Switchfoot | Yamato & Kakashi (+ Team 7)

and now, after all my searching/after all my questions/I'm gonna call it home

→ All finding-where-you-belong songs are actually Yamato songs. True story!

Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot | Obito

you have one life left to leave/you have one life left to lead

→ Could this be any more perfect for Obito? It even has creepy-old-man!Madara!

Pluto - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

Always Gold - Radical Face | Kakashi & Obito/Sasuke & Itachi/Naruto & Sasuke

all my life, I've never known where you've been/there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend/and I heard you say, right when you left that day/does everything go away?/yeah, everything goes away/but I'm going to be here till forever/so just call when you're around

→ ...but mostly Kakashi & Obito because 'there were holes in you' 😭😭😭

Lemon Boy - Cavetown | Yamato & Kakashi → You already know the delights of this song of course, but I gots to be comprehensive. :)

Everywhere I Go - Lissie/cover by Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team Minato

danger will follow me now everywhere I go/angels will call on me and take me to my home/well, these tired eyes just want to remain closed

→ I chose the Sleeping At Last cover for maximum angst, 'cause sometimes it be like that.

Uneven Odds - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

maybe your light is a seed, and the darkness the dirt, in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth

→ ...just like an earth style: mud wall :') Okay, okay, bad jokes aside, the seed metaphor of course makes me want to associate it with Tenzo, but this is clearly a Kakashi song!

Twenty-four - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito

life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago/and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago/still I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/you're raising the dead in me/I wanna see miracles/to see the world change/wrestled the angel for more than a name/for more than a feeling, for more than a cause/I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/and you're raising the dead in me

I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) - John Rzeznik | Kakashi

and how can they say I never change?/they're the ones that stay the same/.../they can't tell me who to be/'cause I'm not what they see/.../and their words are just whispers/and lies that I'll never believe

→ Yeah, I might've accidentally imprinted on Treasure Planet as a 14 year old, and then someone made sure this song would forever live in my heart by making a fanvid of it with my favorite character from my robin hood show, but! He's still here!

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) | Kakashi & Obito/Team Minato

how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?/everything I went through, you were standing there by my side/and now you gon' be with me for the last ride

→ I am being very unoriginal here, and there are in fact already fanvids made for these relationships set to this song (along with many others featuring different Naruto relationships), but I don't think I'll be able to rest until I translate the movie playing in my head whenever I hear this song now into an actually watchable format. After all, they have come a long way from where they began, and I intend to make that both as touching and ironically hilarious as possible!

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers | Kakashi → Admittedly, I got this idea from a magnificently crafted fanvid done for my robin hood show, but I genuinely think it would be really interesting to make something similar for Kakashi centered around the time he technically died but got better? I don't know how to explain it, but I think it fits quite well.

30 Lives - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi & all the people he's loved and lost → can be listened to here.

A Pound of Flesh - Radical Face | Kakashi

then today I wake up feeling easy/and find I'm on more familiar roads/I got a darkness wrapped inside me/but now it ain't so hard to let it go/so keep a candle burning in the window/I'm almost home

Hold Back The River - James Bay | Kakashi & life getting in the way of him being with his precious people (you may be sensing a pattern here) → @the road of life: Let! Kakashi! And his People! Hold! Each! Other!!! Also, 'tried to square not being there, but think that I should have been' is absolutely about Sasuke's defection and Kakashi adding it to his long list of undeserving self-recriminations.

The Fall - Imagine Dragons | Yamato & Kakashi → 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Shadowman - K's Choice | could work equally well for Kakashi or Obito, I think

any time tomorrow a part of me will die/and a new one will be born/any time tomorrow/I'll get sick of asking why/sick of all the darkness I have worn/any time tomorrow/I will try to do what's right/making sense of all I can/any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light/I just might/.../and doesn't it make you sad?/to see so much love denied/see nothing but a shadowman inside

Paint - The Paper Kites | Kakashi & Team 7

still there's a wound and I'm moving slow/though it don't show, though it don't show/I've got a hole where nothing grows,/how little you know, how little you know

→ A song for just how much Team 7 doesn't know about their sensei.

Always Find Me Here - Transit | Kakashi → ...most likely at the memorial stone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (why am I like this)

Taste - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry/a careful pruning of my dead leaves/it’s holy ground, a treasure chest/I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface/like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering/we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again/we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside

Help - Hurts | Yamato & Kakashi

take my hand and lead the way/out of the darkness and into the light of the day/.../'cause I know what I've been missing/and I know that I should try/but there's hope in this admission/and there's freedom in your eyes/.../I can feel the darkness coming/and I'm afraid of myself/call my name and I'll come running/'cause I just need some help

→ NO ONE TOUCHE ME.

Your Soul - RHODES | A mish-mash of Kakashi & Tenzo and Rin & Obito & Kakashi and Gai & Kakashi vibes? → So like, 'oh you know when you're alone/I'm holding on and on and on and on/to your soul' reminded me of your 'when you're all alone...the only thing you really think about is dying' 'but when there are two of you...the only thing you can think about is surviving.' and now kakashi - who just saved his life - is asking him 'did you want to die' and yamato is saying 'no' there are two of them and yamato wants to SURVIVE. tags as well as Gai's steadfastness as a friend, and 'I just wanna hold your hand' made me think of Rin's "Well then, I'm just going to have to connect the two of you." while holding their hands, and the sunlight/'soul shine'/'your light' motif is just A Lot in this song!!

7 Years - Lukas Graham | Kakashi → Alright, yeah, there are already approximately a gazillion pre-existing Naruto AMVs for this song and even one or two focusing on Kakashi, but they don't capitalize on all the angst possibilities in many of the lyrics or reach the fluff potential of 'will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me [when I'm old]' and I cannot abide that!

Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers | Kakashi & Sasuke → Okay, on one hand, this song is One Big Oof. But I do like the (potentially odd) way I've conceptualized it for Kakashi & Sasuke? Like, the first half is Kakashi going through all the tragedies in his life and getting lost in ANBU, but then in the second half it transitions to him wanting to prevent Sasuke from having to be as alone as Kakashi once was and they can face life together? It makes me emotional!

Trust Me - The Fray | Kakashi & Obito

I found a friend, or should I say a foe?/said there's a few things you should know/we don't want you to see/we come, and we go/here today, gone tomorrow

→ There are a few lines that call Tenzo & Kakashi to mind, but mostly it's Obito & Kakashi.

The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?) - Snow Patrol | Kakashi → I had to, right? My mindscape is a little murky/scattered about what specifically I want to think about when I listen to this, but obviously it has to do with Kakashi in one way or another.

Kettering - The Antlers | Team Minato(???) → Honestly not sure if this will make any sense, but yeah, vague team minato vibes?

Swans - Unkle Bob | Kakashi & Obito/Rin/Minato/Kushina/Sakumo → They should be by his side always!!!

Looking Too Closely - Fink | Kakashi → I honestly feel rather ambivalent about this one too, but I can't deny 'truth is like blood underneath your fingernails/and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself/looking too closely' always destroys me because... well, you know. I love suffering. :(

Souvenirs - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito & Rin

wolves - Switchfoot | Kakashi

snowfall for the battlefield/roses for the father's sons/see them red on the ground:/bleeding/when the revolution came/we were more than hungry men/we were hoping for more:/bleeding/end. begin again./all of my world is collision and spin/hope is a world that has yet to begin/awaken, oh sleeper/awaken, oh sleeper/a new day begins

→ I wanted a wolf-related song too. :)

PRODIGAL SOUL - Switchfoot | Obito, Itachi, & Sasuke; just all them wayward Uchiha boys

Coming Down - Dear Euphoria | kid!Kakashi & his relationships

the shell/that I wore/it wasn't for fun/it wasn't to make you/stick around/it was for survival/it was what I've learnt/it was for the sun/.../our love has grown/our love has flown

→ Another one I'm a little unsure of whether it makes sense outside of my head or not, but I like the vibes?

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons | Kakashi & Yamato? → Hmm, can I maybe submit this as a Kakashi-&-Yamato-just-need-to-mske-it-through-this-war-so-they-can-have-a-bright-bright-future song?

All Is Well (It's Only Blood) - Radical Face | Kakashi → ...he said as he's bleeding out or after he's thrown himself in the line of fire protecting someone he thinks is a better person than himself...

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi

when the hour is nigh/and hopelessness is sinking in/and the wolves all cry/to fill the night with hollering/when your eyes are red/and emptiness is all you know/with the darkness fed/I will be your scarecrow/you tell me to hold on/oh, you tell me to hold on/but innocence is gone/and what was right is wrong

→ In a similar vein to the previous song. But goodness gracious! Were they NOT straight up describing Kakashi here?

Amaryllis - Shinedown | Yamato & Kakashi → Just tossing this one out there, not sure if it will make sense or if it's a reach... but I like it?

lost 'cause - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Sasuke

are we a lost cause?/or are we just lost 'cause/we won't be the future we refuse to see?/and if I'm your lost cause/it'll be your lost 'cause/you won't see me as I am, the possibility/that I'm not the enemy

→ 214 feels. (And before and after that, but yeah.)

Through the Ghost - Shinedown | Kakashi & Obito

so many silent sorrows/you never hear from again/and now that you've lost tomorrow/is yesterday still a friend?/.../everything that mattered is just/a city of dust/covering both of us/did you hide yourself away?/I can't see you anymore/.../did you hide yourself away?/are you living through the ghost?/did you finally find a place/above the shadows so the world will never know?/the world will never know you like I do ... like I still do

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men | Kakashi → Just Kakashi having little chats with his ghosts, totally the most heartwarming way to conclude this section. 😅

Sleepyhead - Passion Pit | Kakashi → Just kidding! Here's a slightly less morbid song for the Most Tired Boy Of Them All.™ (Random aside: this was my customary song to listen to on my walks to 8AM organic chemistry classes; I found it strangely soothing! On a different occasion, after a particularly long day for her, one of my roommates didn't have the energy to make it to her bed but nevertheless requested a lullaby from us. So I obliged by playing this song for her, but she didn't seem to gain the same peace of mind from it as I did. �� I know it's not my place to propose anything like this, but it does amuse me to imagine bookends!Kakashi in these situations, even though it's not OChem classes he has to go to.)

General/Miscellaneous:

Rise Above It - Switchfoot | Ensemble

don't care what they're telling me/we can be what we want to be/.../just because it's law doesn't mean that it's fair/.../don't believe the system's on your side/.../the curse is spoken/the system's broken; rise above it

→ I mean, how could I not think about Naruto when this song also has the lines 'hear us sing tonight like the last night on earth/we will rise like the tide/like dead men coming back to life/we are rising, rising'? It's fun to be literal sometimes!

Doorways - Radical Face | Allllll the traumatized children → Someone has to put all those tragic childhood flashbacks to good use, after all.

Ghost Towns - Radical Face | take your pick of Itachi, Sasuke, or Post-Kannabi-Bridge!Obito

there's no comin' home/with a name like mine/I still think of you/but everyone knows/yeah everyone knows/if you care, let it go

Blinding Light - Switchfoot | Hey, Hiruzen? You may have coined the phrase, "children are the king" but I don't think you truly understand it... (insert Princess Bride joke here)

hey boy, don't believe them/we're the nation that eats our youth/.../still looking for the blinding light/still looking for the reason why/still looking for the sun to shine/all my life I've been living in the darkest night/still looking for the blinding light/to take me higher and higher

Brother's Blood - Kevin Devine | EVERYONE → ...but certainly so much you could do with Itachi & Sasuke, Obito & Kakashi, Shisui & Itachi, even Hashirama & Madara! Sakumo's teammates turning their backs on him and saying 'I don't know one thing about my brother's blood'?!?! There are SO MANY ideas I have for this song! It gives me chills and makes my brain scream.

We Need Each Other - Sanctus Real | Ensemble → Already mentioned this one to you, but I have to include it here for thoroughness' sake!

Whispering - Alex Clare | the Hidden Leaf's lost/ostracized children/orphans

who will care for the falling?/who will care for the falling leaves?

So this is probably a strange concept to come up with and apply to this song, but the 'whispering, whispering, whispering' parts brought Konaha's virulent gossiping/passing judgement about others and often kids they don't even know problem to mind, too, and yeah?

The World You Want - Switchfoot | Ensemble → If I were to make a fanvid set to this song, I would definitely keep a broad focus, but I can't deny that the lines 'you start to look like what you believe, you float through time like a stream, if the waters of time are made up by you and I, I could change the world for you, you change it for me' FOR SURE has strong Obito & Kakashi/Kakashi & Tenzo vibes.

Red Eyes - Switchfoot | Ensemble, but definitely many dashes of Uchihas 😄 → I would like to thank Masashi Kishimoto for creating a world where red eyes are a Thing of Importance so I can one day make a fanvid using this song in not just the tired or teary bloodshot-red eyes way, but in a very literal sense too.

TAKE MY FIRE - Switchfoot | The Will of Fire → 'Cause I think I'm sooooo clever. 😄

Above The Clouds Of Pompeii - Bear's Den | various parent & child relationships → This obviously derives from the not-caring-about-your-female-characters problem, but it always gets me that all the single parents in the Naruto universe are almost invariably the fathers! I guess sometimes you can safely guess that the mothers are still alive/exist, but either way we hardly ever get to see them. :/ The one exception I can think of right now is Kurenai, but maybe I'm forgetting another conspicuous single mother. Anyway, I don't know if this helps or hinders more a potential Naruto fanvid for this song, but regardless, it still gives me feelings?

Who We Are - Switchfoot | Ensemble → It just makes me inordinately happy that the chorus for this song starts with 'who we are (in the fever of our youth)', you know? :D

Brother - Kodaline | all the friendships we can stuff in here and then some → Quite a well known song I'm pretty sure, but I love how many dynamics one could showcase in a potential fanvid of this. And, not gonna lie, 'oh brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' deserves to be used in some sort of Tenzo 'n' Kakashi or Team Ro fan creation!

Special Bonus:

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine | Kakashi & Obito → I'm not sure whether I would have realized how well this works for Kakashi & Obito on my own, funnily enough, but then I found this fanvid of it (containing only scenes you've seen naturally!) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so well done!

[bongbuster]

This just sparked so many brainworms that ran in all directions, starting with underground city and ended in absolutely *god awful* creatures that Urahara Kisuke dragged out of there. Please excuse my gargantuan shit of headcanons that wanted to become a fic.

The Second division uses the upper underground city to move around, showing that once again the worst parts of Soul Society are those that the Second and the Fourth inhabit together. One Urahara Kisuke from East Rukongai district 77 (prone to flooding, cholera, rot, mud, worms and the whole charming shebang) takes to the sewers like a duck to shitwater. "What do you mean the aquifer level is stable," he asks his Onmitsukido tutor, who would rather be anywhere else besides here right now, dealing with a blonde, wide-eyed autistic preteen itching to paddle around in some shit. itching.

If there are cholera antibodies then Urahara Kisuke is the motherload of them all. The boy still eats bread that makes less experienced Fourth division members grow pale and the rest of normal sane human beings retch. Unohana Retsu finds this gangly child in Onmitsukido robes roasting something that is most certainly a creature in the depths.

After her first heart attack, with Minazuki whispering in her mind to put patient zero down before he spreads the diseases all over her hard work, down, she's somewhat relieved to find that this kid has some common sense. Not a lot, but some. Just enough at least sanitize the thing that he is eating shoving into his mouth—

It is her first meeting with Urahara Kisuke, but it won't be her last. The sewers smell, an amalgam of the guts of a human body, the very entitlement of humanity itself, and yet Minazuki recognizes a kindred soul in the stench of blood wafting off of the kid's zanpakuto, something staring back.

She decides to let him be.

She's pleasantly surprised to see Urahara reverse engineer her mentor's hot springs from the traces left underground, even more pleased when the gangly teenager grows up to take over the Twelfth and decides to do something with the wealth of knowledge stored underground. Meatheads be damned—god knows she's in the zone on the battlefield herself—for once she finds herself having some hope in a new captain after all.

If she hadn't seen him eating some unknown cephalo-artropod in the sewers first.

—*—

Urahara Kisuke might be oblivious to the lethality of seweage with his extraoridnary luck and the fact that he got out of Rukongai when he was still young, picked up by Yoruichi from the flooding dump that East Rukongai became in the later half of the 18th century, but Shinji Hirako most certainly is not.

It's kind of funny that they're considered a pair of sorts around seireitei—blonde, walking headaches, feudal period equivalent of hippies but no less behind on their consumption of marijuana—when their backgrounds are direct opposites. Quite literally, because where the outskirts of East Rukongai rest on the delta of a great river emptying out to the sea, Outern West Rukongai is a parched, starved desert. There isn't much that can survive the sweltering heat, the thrashing winds that have eroded all the topsoil along with its trees and grass and the nights that dip heavily into the minus degrees—not much besides bacteria.

Shinji isn't particularly smart or attractive. There isn't much of anything that stands out about him at all besides his quick fingers freeing people of their coin and the shifty eyes that notice everything. His peers get sick and die while sheltered from the heat and cold, drink and food in their belly. He isn't dumb enough to be superstitious when there is no proof of the divine in the hell he lives in, so he observes: how those about to die reek of dirt, how those too weak to search for water further upstream in the inhospitable desert die from the muddy water they so easily acquire downstream. He observes, and like his Sakanade, he acts in reverse.

He isn't particularly smart, but he'll be damned if he doesn't get out of this dump on his own two feet.

—*—

A century later there's a new captain that his Sousuke is eyeing quite curiously (what, does he have a crush?), and Shinji has come to understand that where there's smoke, there's fire. He is somewhat interested to see another Rukongai rat on this post, smile turning a degree colder when he hears the rumors floating around about the new captain of the Twelfth. They're no less kind than his are, and the way that Unohana almost smiles a little when their eyes meet tell him that this is definitely worth investigating.

He swaggers into the Twelfth, steals Kisuke's dagger, almost gets it launched into his windpipe, thoroughly laments the state of the roses he gifted to Hikifune and practices a little of his rusty Onmitsukido sign language skills with Kisuke when Sousuke turns out to be a creepy little stalker.

Shinji loves making new friends.

On further acquaintance Kisuke starts smuggling him drugs, meets Hiyori's weekly quota of nut taps, and good fucking Lord he's about to sic Retsu on him (even if she hates Shinji more than anything) if Kisuke doesn't stop fucking eating—

"But fried cockroaches are delicious!" Kisuke munches at him, waving a mutated insect.

Shinji dodges the attempted biochemical weapon of mass destruction and nearly falls off the roof in the process. He can't tell if he's coughing from the last hit or if his lunch is about to come up and directly into the courtyard of the Sixth.

Kuchiki is going to be fucking jumping with joy.

"Why is it green?" he chokes. "Please stop chewin' with yer' mouth open—"

Kisuke shoves more of the creature into his mouth, and Shinji thinks this is probably the worst munchies he's ever seen.

"It oxififes," Kisuke clarifies with his mouth full. "Oxidised. Out of the water—"

"What kinda fuckin' water—"

"Y'know," Kisuke mumbles. "The depths."

Shinji stares.

He scoots backwards, and puts a hand over his mouth. He counts to four, and breathes out.

"Stop talkin'."

"Okay," Kisuke lazily agrees, and keeps chewing. There's a particularly loud crunch as he cracks one of the crab-spider-cockroach's legs open and sucks the marrow out.

Shinji watches him flick the chitin down into Kuchiki's yard in morbid amusement.

"Nah," he mutters, glad to finally have something to distract himself with. "Ya gotta arc it. Love has this guy in his squad who's fuckin' massive. Wears a bucket. Kuchiki might hate him more than me, so, listen, make sure it looks like it's comin' from the Seventh—"

Kisuke's in the middle of a sagely nod when there's a familar explosion of spiritual pressure, tinted in rage. Shinji scrambles to his feet.

"Go, go, gogogo go—"

A head of balding gray hair is rapidly approaching them. Shinji's so high he thinks he might walk off the roof, but Kisuke—

Kisuke stumbles.

Shinji is stuck between whether to piss himself with laughter or to scream. He latches onto Kisuke's wrist and pulls, nearly toppling over himself, balancing Kisuke but losing valuable seconds of time.

The illusion he put up is about to break if they don't book it now—

Something very squishy, wet, and green lands in Shinji's hand. He nearly screeches.

"I know it's you two!" Kuchiki roars. "Hiding like rats—"

Shinji latches onto the thing in his hand, winds back, and arcs it.

Kisuke wails in sorrow.

Kuchiki roars in something else entirely as Shinji hits him dead in the face.

He can't help bursting out in laughter, crying as Kisuke mourns. He wipes his hand clean into Kisuke's haori while he's distracted grieving his snack.

He hears the roof tiles give behind them, and something very loudly crashing down below, causing a loud commotion.

"Kisuke," he croaks, cackling. "Kisuke, ya fuckin' ravenous bastard, we are in such deep shit—"

Kisuke seems to have spedran the five stages of grief and joined him in acceptance, weeping with laughter.

—*—

If Unohana does see the captain of the Twelfth and the captain of the Fifth running over her roof and giggling like schoolchildren (entirely hypothetical), then the next captain's meeting, when asked for eyewitness accounts of the Incident, she evenly breathes out, closes her eyes, and chooses to stay silent.

How does trash pickup, Recycling centers, &/or Hazardous Material Disposal work for Soul Society in AEIWAM? Is there a Kido-based ritual to break things down into Reishi? Are there Tech Repair Shops?

Sewage in Soul Society works really well but very dangerously because those fucking idiots built the city directly on top of an active supervolcano.

Let me back up:

There isn't a good consensus on how big the Seireitei is (Yoruichi says it takes 10 days to walk 1/4th of the way around the circumference, but whether that's her speed, the average person's or how long a patrol group takes is unclear), Or any real maps of the place, but it's generally agreed that

the city is LARGE. Yoruichi says it would take her and the kids ten days to walk to the next gate 1/4th of the way around the city. Maybe that's 8 hours average human walking speed minus 'trying to herd a bunch of teenagers' but that's still a long trip!

Even before the Seki-Seki stone wall was put up, the city was pretty much circular.

Unlike pretty much every real city, there's no river running through it. Where are they getting their water?

There is a Small but substantial and TOTALLY ISOLATED mountain in the middle of the city made of apparently hard-to-mine rock. A Lonely Mountain, one might even say.

The only visible natural sources of water I've seen evidence of are hot springs in both the Yoruichi/Urahara Super Secret Training Ground/Love Nest and the first division grounds.

Soul Society is run by jackasses and if there's a stupid way to do things, that's the way they're doing them.

In fact, the Soul Society as a whole is almost suspiciously Amestris-shaped, but instead of nefarious alchemy, it's negligent civil engineering

...all this leads me to believe that Seireitei is built DIRECTLY ON TOP OF the caldera of an enormous supervolcano. The city gets it's water from the aquifer of rainwater that's collected in the underground cracks and fissures of the Caldera, and the seki-seki stone wall is set up around the really convenient geographic barrier made by the rim of the caldera.

"Hey!" I hear some of you nerds objecting "Aren't calderas usually concave? Seireitei is convex, if anything!"

You're right! Most Calderas are concave! But they will absolutely fill in with sand and dirt over the true floor of the caldera over time and develop Mounts like the thing at the central part of the city and start to rise WHEN THEY'RE ON THE VERGE OF A CATASTROPHIC ERUPTION.

So yeah! The Gotei-13 has an almost infinite supply of hot water, and probably less than a century to figure out what to do before The Big Kaboom.

Anyway, back at sewage:

There's been a city where the Seireitei is since time immemorial, and even though it's done the istanbul-not-constantinopple shuffle a few times, very little of the actual infrastructure has changed. Empires rise and fall but the desire paths stay the same.

This is especially true in Seireitei, because unlike very nearly every major IRL Municipality, it doesn't have a river running through it, something that usually necessitates Sewer updates By Force. But compared to a river which is constantly moving around in it's bed, a volcanic aquifer doesn't move much until it moves a whole fucking lot real fast, so the undercity of the Seireitei has really had time to... Develop isn't quite the right word.

"Ferment" is closer.

Above-ground waste management is the provenance of the actual local city government- yes, there is a Mayor of the Seireitei that the Gotei-13 has to pay property taxes to. Yamamoto maintains a lot of goodwill with the Mayor by dint of sentencing ill-behaved shinigami to shore up the municipal labor pool, and by knowing the mayor's family for the last millennium. So you'll see Shinigami doing things like trash collection and street-sweeping, but they're just there on probation.

-But nobody wanted to deal with the undercity. It's got a soul of it's own. Washington DC, which is less than 500 years old as a city and on top of a swamp, has an undercity that goes down over half a mile. Imagine how deep the sunken buildings, abandoned secret tunnels, and sewer system of a city that's millenia old, not sitting on actual mud and constantly subjected to high levels of magical background radiation might develop.

An Appetite, for one thing.

The 11th likes to talk a big game, but the reason the 4th is in charge of sewer maintenance is because the only people with the guts for it were people who got degrees rummaging in the guts of living people. Sewer maintenance really is a lot like abdominal surgery, if you were able to walk around inside the patient.

It was Retsu Unohana's idea, actually. Chigiri was a battle medic and aged rapidly for a shinigami. She was old when the court guard finally went from "Yamamoto and his gang of assholes" to "A for-real governing body". Her successor, Kirinji was more interested in traumatic injury recovery than preventative medicine, for obvious reasons- his triage was constantly full of combat casualties and early kido experiment victims Blood Loss was still his #1 Killer.

But Retsu had been reincarnated in and spent her youth in South 80, in the utterly undeveloped conditions there, and held deep, personal grudges with Dysentery and Cholera. For all his talk of healing waters, Kirinji had no sense of the importance of water sanitation, and it was a continuous point of contention between them for her apprenticeship.

"FINE!" He shouted one day after a particularly nasty row. "IF IT'S SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOU HANDLE IT! FORM NOW ON, YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF SEWAGE, SLUDGE QUEEN!"

She made her first descent the next morning.

She did not return for six weeks, and Kirinji almost thought he'd resloved that particular problem when she reappeared from the depths, a changed woman. That long in the darkness, alongside the buried secrets and skeletons of the city, with the horrors that did not dare brave the sunlight- it would change anyone, and most would come up looking at least mildly haunted.

Retsu Unohana is not most.

She looks radiant, almost like The Kenpachi again, covered in the horrors of the underground as she used to be covered in blood. She thrives on a challenge, and excels at the art of purification, and now, she has been given the single greatest challenge of purification in history. There is something beautiful and terrible in her eyes as she explains that it does down at least five miles, look at this, she thinks it's from the neolithic era, and there are incredible boneyards of thousands of skeletons, and fungi the likes of which she's never seen before- She is ecstatic- a creature kept in captivity, finally released into it's natural habitat.

It's hardly a surprise, if you consider Minazuki. Stingrays are benthic creatures, right at the bottom of the river, deep in the muck and decay.

It's been a little over eight hundred years into her tenure as a medic, and she has tamed much of the beast. The upper levels are well-mapped and have been made clean and well-lit, enough that even the civilian sanitation forces of the city can regularly enter and work in them without any particular unease. Infant and preventable disease mortality has dropped astronomically. Nobody's had cholera since the 1800's . While they have other jobs, all members of the 4th division are required to take at least one tour in the depths of the undercity.

Horrors still lurk in the depths.

They're pretty sure they lost Tokagero Kenpachi chasing one of those, shortly before Unohana became captain, and she's been reluctant to let other divisions assist since then. The Fourth Division's Fourth Seat, rumored to be the unluckiest post in the entire Gotei-13, is permanently stationed underground, and she loves it that way.

It's only recently that the 11th has been allowed to come along on descents, after Zaraki vanished for two days and then emerged victorious from a manhole in the 5th division with a tentacled horror she'd been tracking for decades that lived at least three miles down. He apologized- he had meant to come up in the 4th to present it's corpse to her directly, but well, you know what his sense of direction is like. Anyway, I saw it scuttling around in the rain aquifers and we don't need it tracking literal shit into the water supply so I went after is and d'ya think maybe I can take the lads down sometime? They' get lazy between deployments and you have a triage up here to manage.

Charmed, she agreed.

---

Hm. I just re-read that ask and it's actually about dry waste managment.

Sorry. I got very excited about the sewers.

I am now about to get worse about trash.

I don't think they have plastic in soul society- given how bug-themed the 12th division is, I'm pretty sure the casing on Rukia's soul pager is made of Chitin, and if you break it, it bleeds. Also it makes people with shellfish allergies break out in hives.

Since pretty much all the waste in Soul Society is either recyclable or organic matter, I think those trash pits Yumichika and Ganju were fooling around with are really more like Kido-enhanced composting centers. All waste goes into them and the bottom of the pit is pulled out in a tray, like with a vermiculture tower, if the worms were eighteen and a half feet long and hungry enough to swallow anything that falls in the pit, because Mayuri is incapable of making anything that is not at least slightly awful.

The compost is then shaken out for any spare glass or metal that made it into the compost and that's sent off to the 12th division forges to be recycled. it's baked to kill any dangerous pathogens and Giant Garbage Worm Eggs so they don't breach containment, and measured for nitrogen, phosphorus and other important plant nutrient content. Based on it's composition, it's then shipped out to farmers in the upper districts of the rukongai because "Free, A+ grade fertilizer if y'all don't start revolutions, pay your taxes and give us first dibs on crops" is an amazing incentive for rural farmers to not start backing the local warlords.

It was 12th division founder Uhin Zenjohji who came up wth the scheme- he remembered the lengths upper-district farmers were willing to go through to make sure their land remained fertile, what kind of demand Nitrogen was in, and the ravages of phosphorous runnoff, so he could kill two birds with one clod of shit by supplying farmers with 'free' fertilizer that kept them loyal to the court and was tailored to that area's nutritional needs and watershed capacity.

The fact that it kept a lot of swamp and waterway areas pristine so he could indulge his birdwatching hobby was a nice benefit too :).

NORMALLY, those pits are covered, clearly marked, and usually the site of a major traffic jam because that's the local collection point, but when Ichigo and friends arrived, Aizen had whipped everyone into believing they were being invaded by an elite force of super-assassins and not like. 4 high schoolers and a furry. All the street signs and markings came down, civilians shuttered themselves inside, and generally made the Seireitei as difficult to navigate as possible.

I wonder how much Zaraki's rotten sense of direction was exacerbated by that.

ANYWAY! That's my thoughts on trash! Deep undercity horrors and giant compost worms over an active volcano!

[alwaysaladysworld]

Red & Wolf Series

Chapter III

Eloise stood frozen, not unlike a statue, once hearing her words being thrown back at her. Damn him. She knew she couldn't do anything without making the situation worse, so the only thing she could do was nod dumbly as Ames pressed another kiss to her temple and left her at the edge of town to walk home, alone.

Dragging her feet, the girl drifted over the earth in the direction of her family home. The hem of her scarlet cloak fluttered at her ankles with each step she took.

Too deep in thought, she couldn't have realize the shadowy figures that watched her every move.

At home, her mother waits for her return, and the completed grocery list with the items weighing down her basket. The young mother went about her daily task of sweeping the floors and the porch. She also washed the few dishes and cups they had stored in their cupboard, and did the laundry and sewn any article that needed mending. Her daughter would be returning soon, knowing how much the young girl disliked being out in town during the day.

She shook her head, no one here would even be willing to get near her or her daughter. Well, accept for Ames Lewis. He is such a good lad, the woman thought fondly. It was a shame though, she knew his living conditions weren't the best. She didn't want to further complicate things, but instead she made certain to welcome him with open arms and assure him that he is loved and wanted- needed even.

Eloise's mother was about to head inside to dust the furniture when a flash of white blocked her. Startled, the mother fell back only to see the frantic movements of a dove. What on earth is a dove doing in a place like this? The beautiful creature was in such a hurry, flying about quickly before returning to her side but never fully perching nearby. She was terribly confused. It took her a moment before it clicked.

Where's Eloise?

Having busied herself all day, she did not realize how fast time flew by. Her daughter should be home. The woman turned to the hysterical dove, and she paled. Her heart clenched at the thought of something horrid happening to her little girl.

Quickly, she rushed to her feet, her eyes stinging and her body wracked with worry.

"Take me to her, please!"

The dove wasted no time to fly east, gliding low enough to be seen by the human woman, but high enough to scope out where she had last seen the dear youth in red. The dove had been flying overhead to return to see the girl, simply to thank her properly and converse some more, only to find the girl being dragged by her cinnamon-brown locks to the hard ground.

Eloise didn't have time to react.

Before she knew it, her hood was harshly pulled down and someone had a vice-like grip in her hair that was dragging her across the dirt. She gave out a yelp and her eyes quickly scanned her surroundings seeing three village boys about her age with devilish snarls staining their faces.

"Bind her." One of them ordered.

"This way she won't be able to use her magic."

Eloise could only struggle against them but was held down by the other two as the third binded her wrist and ankles. The rope, a knife cutting through her soft flesh as she desperately tried to take liberate herself. It was all in vain as she felt a swift kick to her abdomen and skull.

"You're not so powerful, are you witch?"

"Freak!"

They continued to yell and curse at her while beating her body as if it were a ragdoll.

Eloise wanted to cry and shout in pain, but refused to give them the satisfaction of hearing her strangled cries. She needed John, she needed someone, anyone!

Her body became tattered, and worn like a well used sock. Blood poured out of her broken skin on her legs, arms, torso, and lip. Once they gave her a swift kick to the rib, she was short of breath. It burned to inhale and stung to exhale. Another assulted her cranium, only with so much force that her vision began to blur.

Was she going to die like this? She didn't want to die. Not like this. Not now!

As if the earth itself heard her silent scream, the ground began to shake violently. The ground not to far away from them split in two and trees were uprooted from their place in the earth. The attackers quickly ended their abuse and ran back to their homes scared that the witch broke apart the earth.

Soon after they left, the movement of the planet calmed and Eloise had a moment to calm and collect herself. She forced her eyes apart, fearing that she may never open them again if she were to close them. She looked forward and saw that the sun was starting it's descent behind the horizon. Dusk and dawn were her favorite times of day. She loved watching the sunset with her mother at home, curled up together on the porch watching the sky bleed from blue to yellow, to orange, red, pink, purple, then finally, the calming dark night sky that would ascend upon their home, and they would turn in for the night to start the day anew.

Her mother would always ake them dinner before going to sleep. A hot bowl of vegetable soup with a slice of bread and cheese, and she vowed to do that whenever Red was especially upset, knowing that it was her favorite meal.

Now, as Mother runs across the grass and dirt she felt the earth skake beneath her feet and stumbled a bit but still pressed on. She needed to make sure that her daughter was okay, that she was alive.

The sun began to set, but there was enough light out for her and the dove to see the curled up mass laying by the edge of town at the beginning of the forest. She quickened her speed, sliding to Eloise's side within moments. The dove perched itself on the ground worried about her dear friend.

The woman instantly assessed the situation and removed the rope binding the girl's wrists and ankles. She gazed over the bruised and blood that seemed to cover every inch of her abused body and choked back a sob, promising her baby girl that everything would be okay and that she couldn't lose another person she loved as she watched her daughter close her tired eyes.

Even without much strength, the mother found it within herself to carry her daughter's limp body all the way home. The dove wanted to follow but decided to come again in the morning after being certain that her own children were cared for.

The minute Mother arrived, she set Eloise down on her cot and brought out medicinal supplies. She removed all of the girl's clothing until she was a bare as the day she was born and quickly dressed her wounds. However, the only thing she managed to get done was clean the blood before she noticed.

The wounds, they began healing themselves.

Almost like magic.

The mother knew her child to be a quick healer whenever she got cuts and scapes as a child, but never like this! Eloise was special; she already knew this. Her unique abilities always fascinated her and never ceased to amaze. However, times were getting harsh, the people were so fearful and restless that they're starting to take violent action.

She couldn't stay here.

...

Ocean blue became known to the world once more as Red blinked away the sleepiness from her eyes. She was alive? How? She looked around frantically to see where she was.

She's home. So thankful that she was, she exhaled a sigh of relief.

Eloise sat up. Not feeling any sort of pain attacking her nerves except for mild stiffness. She stretched her muscles and looked herself over. Not a single scratch, or a drop of blood. And she was already dressed for bed. The young woman was ready to believe the experience was nothing but a rancid dream concocted by her wild imagination and her distrust for the villagers. That was until she saw Mother out of the corner of her eye. She leaned in from the doorframe with a look drowned in a mixture of worry and relief that Red knew today was not a dream. Why else would she look at her as if she'd risen from the dead?

Mother stepped closer with a tray of food in her hands. It was her daughter's favorite dish, and as soon as the woman placed the meal down for Red to eat she sat down on the edge of the cot and examined her daughter's phyisical appearance. She was completely healed.

"...How are you feeling?" Mother asked quietly.

"Better. How long was I alseep for?" Red inquired her mother not wanting to dwell on the experience that took place only a few miles or so away from her home.

Mother watched her daughter spoon the hot liquid and vegetables into her mouth and scarf down the bread and cheese she picked up earlier today. Thoughts of a mob, full of people willing to hurt her daughter, and possibly her as well scared her. She needed Eloise away from it all; she had been thinking about it for awhile now, but she is certain that the time is now.

"I contacted your grandmother a week or so ago to see if she could take you in." The woman explained.

Red's hand froze. What? Her grandmother? Eloise turned to look into the hazel-green eyes of her mother. The woman's appearance was disheveled with a good reason to be. Her blonde hair escaped her high bun and clung to her forhead and neck that was slightly flushed. Her eyes were sunk in and nearly lost their shine. Red felt guilty that she was the cause of her mother's unorganized state.

"Why?" The youth croaked, her voice growing hoarse.

Mother closed her eyes and took a deep inhale before opening them again.

"Eloise, it's not safe. Your grandmother, Henrietta, lives at the edge of the Black Forest. You will go there and stay with her where it is safe, and where you can live in peace." She explained.

Red slowly shook her head ready to protest against her mother's wishes, but the hard look in the woman's bloodshot eyes dared her to deny. The young girl promptly shut her mouth.

The woman sighed, "My dear, please understand. I'm doing this for you. The villagers see you as a threat. If they are willing to commit such a crime, imagine what would happen next time, God forbid. Imagine if I didn't make it in time- if I didn't even know!"

Eloise nods in understanding, her heart breaking for her mother. But, she couldn't bear to leave her mother here, in this house, vulnerable.

"But what about you, Mother? Won't you come with me?"

At this the woman smiled softly, sadly, "I could not fathom leaving our home; this beautiful sanctuary, and nest your father built for us by hand. No, it would tear me apart to lose such a place. And it would kill me, knowing that your life is in danger at the risk of being here. You must go my sweet, sweet child."

She knew she had to, there was no room for argument. Her mother already made up her mind, and little could be done to sway it. Voicing her agreement, Red finishes her food and bids her mother a goodnight.

That night the girl fell into a restless sleep, thinking of the new challenges she would face tomorrow.

*Third chapter of my rewritten work off of wattpad, cover is original please don’t take it*

[alines7777]

aight, here's a piece of 'creative writing' that i've been brainstorming.

basically, it's about samson, a famed homophobic and transphobic radio evangelist, who dies and goes to hell, and meets the princes of hell, who subsequently berate him for his character and deeds on earth. and it more or less gets into the CORE reason why conservatives always turn out to be shitheads in their seeking of bible verses as a shield for their bigotry, and even hypocrisy. it's also to demonstrate that, as written in the tanakh, god is beyond good and evil, especially any one person's view of it.

the thing here is that based on everything i read from the bible, everything the princes of hell say here is true, or at the very least reasonable. and i think the following sort of bigotry and disrespect toward humanity as a whole, whom lucifer accurately calls the ADAM, is the character attributed to lucifer in other texts, and i also think it serves as a nice foil for samson's bigotry toward the lgbti community, just as samson serves as a nice foil for lucifer's expulsion from YHVH's hosts.

and on that note, i think it would be fair warn that this work includes the use of transphobic slurs, albeit from a perspective of a being that cares as little for humanity as a whole as it does toward the plight of trans people.

but what both of them never really stop to consider is that they all supposedly share god's breath in common. and god's breath is held in the tanakh as the source of life, that every breath we take is literally god's.

(try to imagine leviathan sounding as though he's stifling laughter as he speaks)

....

samson : ugh. who are all of you? where am i?

leviathan : GEHINNOM. HELL.

samson : no! that can't be right! that's impossible! i was spreading the truth about your bid to destroy america with the gay and trans agenda! i was bringing people back to the right path that god set for man and woman in marriage. i was saving america from your throes! i was the champion of the holy crusade against the trans and gay agenda to soften and feminize america to make it yours instead.

* the princes start busting into laughter *

asmodeus : are you kidding? as if anyone even needs sodomy or transsexuality to be pulled away from marriage in the first place! o, but i'm sure you know better from experience, right? but we have witnessed the rise and fall of MANY nations throughout EONS, so why should we even remotely care about america above any others? what an idiot!

lucifer : listen, samson, god is the one who chooses the fate of all nations, not us, haven't you even read the word he left for you? so if "the sodomites and transsexuals" really are destroying america as you say they are, then it's precisely because god wants them to, now you're free to take any guess at why. besides, we are hardly interested even in the ADAM that you'd find here, let alone those that still roam earth, and you won't find us delivering any of our bidding to DIRT beneath our feet. there is no fight between us and YHVH over the ADAM, the only ones you have to blame for your sins and the fall of your nations are YOURSELVES.

leviathan : AND THEY'RE STILL CONCERNED OVER THE COLORS OF THEIR BEDSHEETS [flags]. TAKE CARE THAT THEY SHOULDN'T TURN YELLOW AND BROWN FROM THAT PANIC YOU'RE IN! *laughs uncontrollably* HOW RIDICULOUS! WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE FROM YOU, AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING USEFUL TO SAY.

*leviathan, again succumbing to uncontrollable laughter, puts a seal on samson's mouth to keep him from speaking up again*

leviathan : WE CAN ONLY FEAR THAT WHATEVER ELSE YOU SAY FOR YOURSELF MIGHT BE EVEN MORE DAMNING! I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN AGES! "CHAMPION OF THE HOLY CRUSADE AGAINST THE GAY AND TRANS AGENDA!" *laughing again, but his laughter is starting to die down*.

asmodeus : and all that coming from.... hold on, let's see what stolas wrote for us again.... a divorcée of five times by adultery with the same trannies he calls abominations [sort of like alex jones and the trans porn on his phone] —

satan : — and two times by battery —

asmodeus : — telling everyone else to honor and cherish the sanctity of man and woman in marriage and sex before god.

*all princes proceed to laugh, samson becomes flush and tearful with anger and embarrassment*

lucifer : aww, what's wrong? we only speak the truth to you alone in jest. but don't you find it at least a little bit funny? can't you see why it's at least a little amusing for us to see how a HYPOCRITICAL BIGOT always runs to the church for hiding?

leviathan : THE SAME WAY A FOX ALWAYS RUNS TO ITS BURROW!

lucifer : now, leviathan, let's not judge TOO unfairly. foxes run to their burrows only when given chase, and foxes actually dig the burrows where they go into hiding.

belphegor : and not once have we ever seen such fools as this so much as pick up a stone to build a church for their hiding.

leviathan : AND IF WE EVER DID SEE THEM PICK UP A STONE, WE ALWAYS FOUND THEM MUCH QUICKER TO CAST IT INSTEAD!

lucifer : and that, samson, is why it's SO DIFFICULT for us to feel any pity for you. but alas, we MUST. after all, only a fool as pathetic as you could never realize that it was just as difficult for everyone else to see god's kindness through your cruelty. now that doesn't inspire much faith in god, does it?

leviathan : NOR DOES IT INSPIRE MUCH OF HIS KINDNESS! JUST LOOK AT THE KINDNESS GOD SPARED YOU, HE LEFT YOU TO FEND FOR YOURSELF IN OUR MIDST!

lucifer : and too bad for you, there are no churches here, so there are no places here where you can hide from us, nor any walls with loose stones for the casting [this is specifically a reference to verses to be selectively taken from the bible to justify bigotry].

mammon : i hope you still think the money you took from all those broken cretins for your "sermons" made it all worth it.

beelzebub : not to mention all the lovely meals it afforded you.

asmodeus : and the women and trannies.

leviathan : ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED THE NAME OF GOD AS A CLOAK FOR YOUR SIN. AND THE ONLY REASON YOU EVER CARED ABOUT THE BODY OF CHRIST WAS BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HAVE IT AS A SHIELD.

lucifer : see, leviathan? now you're judging QUITE fairly. because fairness.... starts with the TRUTH. and the truth is, samson, you're DISGUSTING. all of ADAM are DISGUSTING! i hardly know any other words that are even fit to describe you. SLIME! DIRT! that's what you are — that's how god made you, and his breath never changed that fact. all it did was make you LIVING DIRT! too bad he never took my advice to destroy all of you while he had the chance, and the only times he did were when it was TOO LATE! now we're the ones who have to deal with you. and i should think that we're owed some thanks for TRYING when god WOULDN'T. we were not the ones who created you, and we just as surely are not the ones to blame for your sins, but we were the ones who were right about you every time when god was still trying to see something better than what was actually there — dirt. but still, he leaves it to us to handle the job of caring for you.

leviathan : HAH! WE NEVER CHANGED OUR MINDS ABOUT YOU, BUT EVEN WE MIGHT HATE YOU LESS NOW THAT HE SEES YOU AS CLEARLY WE DO, AND NOW WE'RE THE ONES WHO CARE MORE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S HOW MUCH GOD HATES YOU!

lucifer : yes, it is. do you know WHY, samson? the same reason we hate you: it's because you ADAM are always crying out god's name, the way spoiled children cry out for their mothers to get the things they want, because you'd NEVER be caught dead doing ANYTHING good for yourself, though for some reason you'd sooner be caught doing ill to others, and then you cry out even louder when you learn that you've been caught, exactly like a spoiled child. and you call yourself a man. that's how disgusting you ADAM are — you'd rather be caught doing ill to others than any good for yourselves — and then you STILL work up the gall to cry out god's name, and we soon find that those who cry his name the loudest are the worst disgraces to it, as much they would be even to OUR names for that matter. the only ones who are any good at all, even in our eyes, are those who DON'T.

satan : we, at least, started by rejecting his name.

lucifer : that's right, so it isn't reasonable to expect any obedience from us. but since you couldn't be bothered to obey god and abide his kindness, you would have been better to reject him too, you'd at least be HONEST, and we would certainly start taking a little more pity on you. and the ones who are inspired by OUR example, they don't ask anything from us, and they don't cry out our names. we hardly even acknowledge them, and they are better than you. but i must give the ADAM some credit, in the spirit of fairness, you answer and take heed when your names are called, even by those you despise. but god doesn't answer when you call his. he doesn't even want you knowing his name, and it isn't YHVH. exactly as leviathan told you, that's how much he hates you. but you're new here, so we're willing to give you a sporting chance to be YOUR OWN brand of dirt, that is all that can be expected of dirt, really. but we'll take care of you until you do, when you'll no longer need us, and when we longer have to bother with you, because if we don't, then who will? certainly not god. that ship has sailed. and if, in spite of our care, you CAN'T learn to accept your fate and be your own dirt, then we'll just bury you like half of the others, to be reunited with the rest of the dirt. either way, we won't have to deal with you for very long, just as we shouldn't.

[charkyzombicorn]

I HAVE A WIP OF THIS THAT I WROTE LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO I'M GONNA SHARE ITS GONNA BE LONG LET'S GO

Mine was a Zolu because it was mixed with butt ugly Zoro au, for context

Everything's pretty much the same when Luffy's young (0-6), because people stop noticing how cute a kid is when he starts yelling and picking his nose and in general being a crude little fatherless child. He's always covered in dirt and mud and his hair's never even and he's always covered in bandages and bruises from Garp, so people noticing his looks at all is a testimate to their extemity. Garp isn't affected by how adorable his grandson is the same way Luffy is with Hancock, general obliviousness

Shanks thinks Luffy's a spitfire that acts kinda like Buggy with all the yelling and bravado, and kinda like Roger in how he itches for pirate stories, and maybe Shanks shares a few more stories than he should because Luffy puppy eyes are fatal

Then when he gets thrown to Dadan, Ace hates him even more because there's a perfect beautiful little grampa's boy that's genetically related to Garp and Ace is very insecure about the genetics, his freckles and his big forehead, so recipe for disaster. Dadan's more protective of Luffy because Bambi Effect,

Also, the Porchemy incident goes much differently and, depending on perspective, much worse, because Luffy's a very pretty boy that was with them for several hours, and if the pirates don't have morals against killing children, what else do you think they don't have morals against?

Luffy's got a bit of a thing about touch after that, and Sabo and Ace become his older brothers faster and more violently because they blame themselves for that little pile of trauma

There's another few scares like that, especially after Sabo 'dies' because it's impossible to keep track of Luffy by yourself at all times in any universe, even though Ace tries really hard.

By the time he's 15, he can't even go to edge town anymore because he gets harassed in the street with marriage preposals and other less savory proposals including many hand gestures, and once Ace sets sail, Luffy finally snaps and stops giving a shit and just punching everyone who gets in his way. This isn't great, because 'step on me' is one of the unsavory proposals, but Luffy's gonna be pirate king and that means ignoring people like that.

When he sets sail and meets Coby, he immediately likes him because Coby's stammering but respectful and after a few punches in the head, believes Luffy can be pirate king. Luffy hadn't actually heard that from anyone but his brothers, it was nice. It was also hilarious watching him nearly cry when Luffy climbed the marine base wall.

Zoro thinks Luffy's some spirit there to take his soul, and starts throwing a hissy fit because he's not gonna die out of spite to his failing organs. Luffy laughs at him because it's the first time a stranger has genuinely yelled at him, instead of losing all their steam the second they make eye contact with Luffy's big doe eyes. Luffy says they're gonna be crew, and Zoro nearly passes out when he sees the most ridiculously attractive person in an old straw hat in a dinghy and finally realizes all he's agreed to.

When Nami comes along? Forget about it. Nami looks at this reason for the invention of the phrase 'good thing you're pretty, cus' you're dumb as a post' that drags her to meet his "Friend" who's a lanky dude with short cut hair, a slightly crooked jaw, a creepy look in his eye and half a bottle of boose hanging loosely in his hand next to the three swords at his hip and immediately prays forgiveness from Nojiko because she's a big sister now and it is WORK. She makes Zoro sleep in the dinghy while she hides Luffy with her in the cabin of the boat she stole, because Luffy won't let her simply cut the rope attaching the two boats and let creepy guy float away, and she's protective, but Luffy could still bench press a house and he's the captain.

Usopp? Dumb little crush, embarrassing almost, and it's completely gone by water 7, because his vision was too blurry from his blood loss to see all the pain he put in those gorgeous features

Sanji needs a long time. The Baratie goes completely different because Zeff takes one look at Luffy and misgenders him for the sake of his mental health. He has the whole staff convinced (read:threatened) that Luffy was a Woman and should be treated as a Goddess despite being dressed like some farmer's son. Luffy's just eating as much meat as he can and Sanji noodles his way over and gets his whole world view shattered because Luffy's more attractive than every woman he's ever met put together and he didn't need a bi-crisis in the middle of all his other ongoing crisises. He tries to refuse Luffy, but Luffy refuses his refusal and he can't gather the strength to say no to Luffy twice. Also, Sanji needs an adjustment period because he nearly cries when he sees how Luffy fights that one guy (I forgot his name, the one that tries to steal the baratie) because he fights like he's expendable even though Sanji has already subscribed to Luffyism

Chopper's the same pretty much, I HC Chopper can tell apart humans like humans do cats; yeah some have different markings and colours and sizes but they all look generally the same. Luffy really likes this though, it's like the same and opposite of the 'everyone thinks I'm a monster' thing Chopper's got going

That's as far as I got! Sorry this is long, I got excited

Weird AU where everything is normal but Luffy surpasses Hancock in terms of beauty.

@charkyzombicorn @yuukioku77

Give me your take on this lmao