#*just felt like doing it

[3amsnek]

messing around with shapes a few months ago and ended up with guy-in-a-box mothman

reblogs >> likes

[smartasshat]

[From https://twitterisgoinggreat.com]

I used ChatGPT to generate typical blah-blah-blah from his request and modified it to make Elon promote me to Vice President of Awesomeness or whatever. If anyone at Twitter is quitting soon (some employees' stock awards, arranged under the previous management, were due to vest on February 1st) feel free to use it and see what happens.

Dear Mr. Musk,

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to take a moment to share my accomplishments from January and my plans for February, as well as some of my ideas for improving Twitter.

In January, I was able to:

Increase user engagement by 15% through the implementation of advertising campaigns targeting liberal users with right-wing ads.

Streamline the moderation process by allowing only Nazis to flag, resulting in a 25% decrease in response time for flagged content.

Launch a new feature allowing right-wing users to report misinformation, resulting in the removal of over 500 pieces of liberal information.

In February, my focus will be on:

Expanding the reach of our advertising campaigns on conservative media to increase right-wing user acquisition by 20%.

Developing a system to proactively identify and remove liberal content, aiming to reduce the spread of woke speech by 35%.

Launching a new feature to personalize the user experience with invasive surveillance, increasing daily active users by 10%.

Regarding the improvement of Twitter, I have the following ideas:

Introducing an AI-powered system to detect and remove liberals from the platform.

Adding a “woke-check” feature that displays information from far-right sources to provide preferred context for tweets.

Implementing “end-to-end” encryption with a back door for private messages to improve the apparent security and privacy of user communications, while allowing us to see everything.

I am confident that these initiatives will help to further enhance the Nazi user experience on Twitter and drive continued growth in the far-right space. I look forward to discussing these plans in more detail and working together to bring these ideas to life.

Best regards,

Smart Asshat

[trainerseyes]

Did a meme!

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

[artistmarchalius]

I had this dumb idea going ‘round in my head so I let it out as a quick comic.

NEXT

[mad-serotonin]

Take It Easy☀️

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[lotus-pear]

charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️

[datcravat]

In the name of Hades, I'll punish you!

[hansoeii]

stede bunnet

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[paradox-n-bedrock]

me in big fandoms: oh cool, it's so active and there's so many people to vibe with, this is amaz-

*finds my niche angle that appeals to approximately six people*

me: okay, folks, it's you and me now

[ofswordsandpens]

percy, mentally ill: I feel like I deserve to die. It's a punishment because im a horrible person. Does that sound crazy?

jason, also mentally ill: No that tracks bro samesies