#*i hope i use the correct tags

[aprilblossomgirl]

My Drama Universe 2022 Wrap-up

For someone who’s been fussy about being in a drama-slump this year (well, k-drama slump to be exact), this wrap-up list sure proved otherwise. Not as extensive as what others might have, perhaps, but these are what showed up to me this year that I willingly embraced consumed. Mostly BLs and Thai’s series, not all that I picked were airing this year, some aired year(s) back. Even for the ones airing this year, not all I watched live. So, it will probably cloud my perception of the show, somehow. However, I’m a firm believer of that not every show is for everyone (or, in this case, me), and that sometimes I had better experience of consuming certain shows when I watched it later after its airing period in my own pace.

A bit of story nobody asked. I’ve been watching Asian tv series / movies since the mid-end 90s. Started with mostly J-drama(s) and very occasionally C/Tw-drama(s), and then followed by an intense past decade of mostly K-drama(s). It was only at the beginning of this year that I’ve been exposed to Th-drama(s) and BLs (or QLs in general) and that was partly due to some major changes I had this year (moving back home to a time zone 12-hours ahead after 4-5 years being away in a foreign land + the series of reverse culture shock). Diving into these media has somehow given me a new kind of comfort I didn’t know I needed at the time. A comfort I know I will still be seeking for the next years to come. And since I’ve made this Tumblr page as my safe zone, why not include a yearly recaps/wrap-up list for my own documentation, also as an index to refer to if later I decide to make some Best-of-2022 kind of posts.

Anyway, I don’t do quantified rating here, I’m just giving some little hearts or highly subjective brief commentary shouts, if any. But if anyone would like to talk or share some thoughts about some of these shows with me, feel free to drop by the comment or my dm or ask box :)

Oh, and when I said little hearts, I mean these: 

🤍 (white) - the show owns my soul, period.

🖤 (black) - it’s my top-something-kind-of shows.

❤️ (red) - loved any aspect of the show: the stories / the tropes / the character(s) / pair(s) / the music / the aesthetics.

Ok, now, the list(s) will go under the cut. A little notes: I didn't separate them based on the genre (QL/non-QL) or the regions for my own convenience.

First, here’s the list of the shows I watched and finished this year, supposedly in a chronological order I picked them (but maybe some were off the timeline -- I didn’t really track them real time, unfortunately):

F4 Thailand: Boys Over Flowers (Thailand 2021-2022) -- I watched almost all adaptation of Hana Yori Dango, and I must say, the Thai version was better written in most parts. Also, Kavin-Kaning was cute here, almost a match to the Korean’s counterpart: So YiJeong - Chu GaEul <3

🤍 Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan 2021) -- my first love, ever, in BL. I adore this show so so much!

❤️ 2gether + Still 2gether (Thailand 2020) -- not gonna lie, these ones gave me comfort in an unexplainable way.

❤️ TharnType (Thailand 2019) + TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand 2020) -- you can say anything about this show or everything about it, but to me, this gave me my #1 comfort character: Type Thiwat Phawattakun, and it hasn’t changed.

Together with Me (Thailand 2017) + Together with Me: The Next Chapter (Thailand 2018) -- the friendship in this show was one of my favorites. Also, this show introduced me to my ultimate favorite BL casting pair: MaxTul. But my most favorite part? Their hometown by the river in the Amphawa district.

My Husband in Law (Thailand 2020) -- what to say more: a drama, that I enjoyed but will not revisit.

❤️ Bad Buddy (Thailand 2021-2022) -- the 5th episode’s rooftop kiss arc my beloved, and need to say no more, a comfort show until today.

Cupid's Last Wish (Thailand 2022) -- my introduction to EarthMix; in a way I was glad I watched this first instead of ATOTS.

❤️ Star and Sky: Star in My Mind (Thailand 2022) -- another comfort show, my adorable Khabkluen & Daonuea; can’t wait to see them again in Our Skyy 2!

🖤 KinnPorsche (Thailand 2022) -- the show that ignites something in me which I cannot label. KimChay will forever hold a chokehold on me. A show that, in one way or another, I might never have a proper closure with. That said, the chaotic that is their casts ensemble had a very special place in my heart.

🤍 Manner of Death (Thailand 2020) -- my forever #1 (not so) BL! TanBunn remains one of my top BL couples.

🖤 HIStory3: Trapped (Taiwan 2019) -- Meng Shao Fei is everything I need in a lead character, and I need him to be with Tang Yi. Also, this show has one of the most adorable second couple.

❤️ To My Star (South Korea 2021) -- this show is strangely beautiful to me. Kang Seo Joon and Han Ji Woo were those unlikely pair that I need to see being together. 

Semantic Error (South Korea 2022) -- a beauty that is not for me specifically, but I enjoyed watching the growth of relationship between Chu Sang Woo and Jang Jae Young. 

❤️ A Tale of Thousand Stars (Thailand 2021) -- I LOVE everything about this heartwarming show with my whole heart. Tian is another comfort character to me. And the village kids! I just can’t stress enough how I really appreciate and love it that the show made the kids part of every step on Tian’s emotional growth all throughout. The slow burn romance, though, tested my patience to the peak, but in the end, it was all worth it. My very brief halfway thought here and final thought here. Can’t wait to see Moonlight Chicken for more of EarthMix. 

🖤 Not Me (Thailand 2021-2022) -- I don’t think any words would suffice to express my thoughts about this show, so I’ll just settle with: it’s fucking brilliant, enough said.

❤️ Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan 2022) -- this show very much feels like a hug and comforting in way that especially when you’re at the age range of TogawaNozue you will understand. The conversation and gradual growth of emotional intimacy between them was something I could relate and reflect to. 

Tonhon Chonlatee (Thailand 2020-2021) -- I’m a big fan of mutual pining, but not so a big fan of last minutes reveal. That said, this was a show with another favorite friendship squad. 

Blacklist (Thailand 2019) -- watched this during my The Eclipse era mainly because of First and Khaotung were in it. I liked the overall story and the theme it brought up, but more especially I loved the cast ensemble and their chemistry with one another.

🖤 55:15 Never Too Late (Thailand 2021-2022) -- this was my first time watching a Thai series with a kind of slice-of-life genre, and I love it, such a realistically beautiful takeaway about youth and regret. Another lovely casts ensemble with my favorite performances of Khaotung and View. 

❤️ Vice Versa (Thailand 2022) -- an absolute beauty nobody could convince me otherwise! The aesthetics (and clearly the budget) of both audio and visual were on a whole different level. I adore JimmySea’s chemistry (and so I will definitely tune in for Last Twilight). The only thing I missed was Talay’s job as a colorist. Would’ve loved to see it more incorporated during his time in the parallel universe.

🤍 The Eclipse (Thailand 2022) -- this show owns my soul. AkkAyan is my everything. I lose my mind here but would love to experience the getting lost for any one more time. As imperfect as it was, this will always be that special show for me. 

Big Dragon (Thailand 2022) -- a dynamic that’s not for me but I stayed until the end with no complaints regardless. If anything, the color-coded lighting and sets of this show were actually something I believe to mean something more.

Love in the Air (Thailand 2022) -- not gonna lie, I’m here mostly for the depiction of the architectural students’ life (which brought some nostalgia in me) instead of the romances; dropped a bit during the few last episodes of PayuRain and picked it up again once PrapaiSky started. I love Sky and he must be protected at all costs, yet I found Prapai to be that exact figure Sky needed. I was aware of the talks within the fandom about this one, and I stayed with my take.

❤️ Enchanté (Thailand 2022) -- this one comes as the nicest surprise for me this year. It might not have the best twist of the story of all time, but I did enjoy every turn and the eventual reveal. As a diehard fans of friend-to-lover trope, I had an instant massive crush on Akk Itsara (as well as a silent and slowly whinny ‘why why whhhyy’ toward Theo) only the heaven understands. The music elevates every emotion I felt. The aesthetics were specifically made for me. My highly subjective full thoughts here. 

Fish Upon the Sky (Thailand 2021) -- my introduction to PondPhuwin, and what a chemistry! This show prepared me mentally for the rollercoaster of pinched heart that is Never Let Me Go. 

Choco Milk Shake (South Korea 2022) -- adorable! A cuteness that’s not really for me, but cute, nonetheless. 

And then, this list is for the shows that I’m still watching or still ongoing, and most likely will finish:

The Warp Effect (Thailand 2022-2023) -- a chaos I’m looking for ever since Love Shuffle.

Never Let Me Go (Thailand 2022-2023) -- a new (hard) obsession detected. (a reminder that I need to make a specific tag for this as I did My School President)

My School President (Thailand 2022-2023) -- they’re cute, so cute, the cutest thing I’ve ever watched! I love these babies so so much!!! And the thematic music? My everything! -- I scream a lot about them here.

Between Us (Thailand 2022-2023) -- so far, I’m loving all the relationships in this show, but most especially the friendship trio Team, Pharm, Manow - they’re everything I wanted to see in a squad!

Remember Me (Thailand 2022-2023) -- I got a mixed feeling about this one, but Champ’s storyline hits too close to home it hurts as much.

Gaus Electronics (South Korea 2022) -- hilarious! I adore the consistency of thematic advert on each episode.

The Shipper (Thailand 2020) -- with this one, I am now convinced there are no roles that First and Ohm could not tackle. 

And here, for the ones I’ve started (mostly 1-2 or some more episodes in) but as of now the mood just never right enough to continue. Most likely will still be on my list next year, so I am temporarily reserved my commentaries.

3 Will Be Free (Thailand 2019) 

10 Years Ticket (Thailand 2022-2023)

609 Bedtime Story (Thailand 2022-2023)

Cruel City (South Korea 2013)

Dark Blue Kiss (Thailand 2019)

Extraordinary Attorney Woo (South Korea 2022)

First Love: Hatsukoi (Japan 2022)

Ghost Doctor (South Korea 2022)

Grid (South Korea 2022)

I Told Sunset About You (Thailand 2020)

Love Between Fairy and Devil (China 2022)

My Liberation Notes (South Korea 2022)

Taxi Driver (South Korea 2021)

The King's Affection (South Korea 2021)

Triage (Thailand 2022)

Lastly, the ones that I dropped (but who knows I’m gonna pick it up again later):

Cutie Pie (2022) - dropped at later episodes.

LITA (2022) - dropped PayuRain’s part at around episode 4 or 5; picked up again when PrapaiSky’s part started.

So, that’s it, that’s my wrap-up. I hope 2023 treats us better and allows us many many more good shows to devour! 

[sonknuxadow]

^ my wheelchair super sonic fanart

[n0pr0mises]

ino is the kind of guy who is so excited to get your pants off and when he finally does and puts you face down ass up before freezing. both his hands are gently holding the sides of your ass and he's silent for a minute, making you nervous and wondering what's wrong before you hear him whisper reverently "wow..."

he feels so blessed and because you're blushing and burying your face in your arms, you don't see him look towards the ceiling, dramatically (and very quietly) saying "thank you thank you thank you-"

[swans-chirping-in-the-distance]

Send me your biggest unpopular opinions. Can be about any fandom (I might not know what you're talking about but whatever) or anything in life. Anon or not, I wanna know

[ardentpoop]

guys “sam used to be Angry At The World For No Reason but then he changes for the better” is a horrible lie enabled by the narrative and by dean. one of the saddest in fact. ask yourself why sam was angry and why/when he stopped being angry and whether his eventual lack of anger truly benefited him or not.

[the-kipsabian]

i would like to hand you three very important points

look at the way kips attention shifts to nick as he goes to ambush hook, and those the way kip holds his arm and shoulder. hes not exactly trying to hold nick back, but the intention is almost there. its not, cause kip knows hes being watched

which is evident in the second one. as soon as hooks (and so also christians) attention is on them, he'll back away. the facade is back on. the way he smirks when hook gets hit, cause the attention shifts again, which means he plays his part well

and third, who is the first to go for attack, even before christian calls for it? the brother who has to prove he belongs here. but again, for all the entirely different reasons than what they expect in reality

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[feroluce]

how do u imagine natasha + sampo’s relationship?

I. Feel a little bad for leaving this in my inbox as long as I did, especially since I said in this post I could write a whole essay on them. But then when I tried to actually answer this, I realized ah shit, I can't really articulate what I think of them at all OTL

(so have a bajillion words of meta analysis of them instead fklajklasjf)

Just! Sampo is very mysterious figure, and we know so little of his background and his motivations! So it's really difficult to get a solid read on some of his relationships with other characters. Regardless, I do think that Natasha is perhaps the one he's closest with, and that she is the one person who knows him the most intimately in all of Belobog.

And a lot of it IS hard to pin down because of Sampo's slippery nature, but also because it's like. If you look at just Natasha's dialogues about Sampo, it doesn't really look like much. It only becomes more meaningful when compared to how everyone else talks about him.

Most other characters just comment on what Sampo does, as in his observable actions that are easy to see on the surface or from a distance.

Natasha is one of the very, very few that actually speaks to Sampo's personality or philosophy. Like she not only is able to describe a certain behavior of his, but she's able to explain the why behind it.

At least part of this is probably that they spend so much time together- Hook even comments on it during her companion quest.

And tbh I don't really think it needs more proof or anything with such a flat out statement like that, but this is actually further supported by the fact that Seele is the only other character in Belobog to sorta-kinda comment on Sampo's personality; if Sampo were hanging around the clinic with Natasha all day, Seele would probably be the person he would see second-most there. Of the dialogues posted further up in this post, Hook obviously sees him all the time, but it's not always in the clinic, and besides she's still very young...she wouldn't have the same read on him an adult would. Luka avoids the clinic whenever he can because he's worried about taking up Natasha's valuable time. And the Landau siblings aren't even present in Boulder Town until after the Stellaron is quieted.

Seele, on the other hand, is extremely loyal and devoted to Natasha, and seems to worry about her a lot. She doesn't have the same reservations as Luka, and it would feel right to see her in the clinic frequently, taking orders and missions and trying to make sure Natasha doesn't run herself in the ground. So it would make sense for her to see a lot of Sampo if he's always in there, too, enough that she would have things to say about his personality, whether she likes that or not haha.

Of course we know from Sampo's lines that it's not that he's sick, he's just reporting back to Natasha. Sampo not only smuggles in supplies across the border like what most people know him for, he's also Natasha's source of intel.

Bringing back intel doesn't necessarily have to involve a lot of conversation though, especially because it would make more sense for Sampo to be turning in written reports. It decreases the chance of Natasha mishearing/misunderstanding something or having to rely on memory alone, neither of which are really things you probably want to be doing when bad intel can mean the difference between life and death in her circumstances. So I do really wonder what it is Sampo does in the clinic all day haha. Given that he's a big believer in the power of small talk bringing in big clients, it's entirely possible Sampo is just in there being chatty, happily making conversation and keeping Natasha company most of the time...which is kinda cute. He also really could just be talking shop, too, of course- Sampo does a lot of work for Natasha, and I don't think it'd be a stretch to assume she's his main client. There's probably a lot to discuss about supply quotas, incoming intel, scheduled drops, etc.

My favorite option, though, is actually based on one of Sampo's options from the main quest, where he says:

Because like! The way he says this, the way he specifies that this is his opinion, but no one seems to care what he thinks? And how he calls them stubborn in particular? It really sounds like Sampo has been trying to get Wildfire to operate in a different direction. And if you look up the exact definition of "artless," you get this

which very much fits Sampo, and how he does things. He has guile and deception down to an art form. Sampo goes on to call Wildfire "do-gooders," but then cautions the trailblazer not to underestimate them because of that- indicating that Sampo sees that type of philosophy as something naive, or at least just ineffective. Something that you would underestimate a person for.

And the person Sampo associates with the most in Wildfire, the one he's always seen with, the one who would hold the most sway to change the modus operandi of the organization is...Natasha.

So I wonder if Sampo has been trying, possibly for years now, to get Natasha to see what he thinks of as reason, and start playing dirty to survive. I wonder if that's what he spends so much time in the clinic for, is because he does care, and he wants her and the rest of them to live, and he has been trying to convince her to go with his way of doing things, but Natasha has been refusing him, refusing to compromise her morals.

Because we know from some readables and from the general Vibe, both up on the surface and down below, that things were getting pretty dire. Rivet Town has fallen. The Silvermane Guards are being whittled down and broken. The Fragmentum was right on everyone's doorstep, and I'm sure that if the Astral Express hadn't arrived- and that if Sampo hadn't set the stage so perfectly, if he hadn't played his part just so- then all of Belobog would have eventually been snuffed out. Sampo had to have known it was happening. He must have known the end was upon them.

He doesn't even have a stake in Belobog- he's not from here. He could, assumingly, call it quits and leave when shit got tough by whatever means got him there in the first place.

And I'm sure Sampo wants to save all of Belobog, but I think he's particularly endeared by Natasha. He famously phrases his view of Elation as "true happiness always entails the manifestation of the dignity of mankind." And like. Who else embodies that so much as her?

Maybe it is a little vague and up to interpretation, but I feel like Natasha is FULL of that kind of dignity. She has been doing this since before the blockade. She willingly chose to stay in the Underground where she could do the most good. She has seen so, so much death and you can see how it weighs on her; she's become bitter, and wary, and weary. She has it out for the Guards (understandable), and she openly taunts Gepard and goes right for his throat when he shows up in Boulder Town, ten years too late, trying to help with the Fragmentum.

Natasha even seems to have given up any belief she may have once had. She's completely lost faith in Qlipoth.

All of this, and yet she still chooses to be kind. She still chooses to help people. There is something immensely admirable in all of that.

And I feel like you can see how much Sampo admires her in just how often he thinks of her, especially when someone needs help. Sampo smokebombs everyone and needs to get them somewhere safe in the Underground? He takes them to Natasha. Svarog is about to fucking kill everyone? Go get Natasha. He finds the trailblazer passed out in an alleyway? He carries them to Natasha. The trailblazer is seeing weird shit out in the Fragmentum? Recommend they go get a check up. Specifically from Natasha.

It's a little silly, but I think you can also see some of this when Sampo is being melodramatic about being caught red-handed in the museum event. He echoes a very important sentiment to Natasha and Wildfire;

And the mission where this ideology was displayed strongest was titled, "To Rot or To Burn."

(Hell, in the dream sequence of Penacony- regardless of whether that dream bubble came from Sampo or Sparkle, it had to be informed by Sampo's tales of Belobog. Sparkle has never been there herself. And the kind trashcan that immediately helps you and sets you on the right path, that tries to rally everyone together, the only one with a name so clearly and obviously taken from someone Sampo knew in Belobog? Is Shatana- an anagram of Natasha. Even from a meta perspective, they have the same VA. No other trashcan there gets that treatment. None.)

I think they have the same goals, and even hold some of the same views. Natasha's are much more obvious, but still. Sampo says this about Belobog's circumstances:

And he says this as though it should be obvious common sense. That when things are rough, you share and make sure everyone has enough. I think they both share this belief, it's just that they disagree on how to go about making things even. Natasha believes in rallying people for the cause and giving as much of herself as she can to make up for whatever people lack. Sampo believes that if some dipshit with more money than what they need falls for his bullshit and he gets to spread it around? Well hey, that sounds like a whole lot of their own fault.

Natasha is definitely aware of this, and she has no problem threatening Sampo whenever she thinks he's stepping out of line.

She keeps him on a very short leash, which like. Yeah no that's valid fjkdlsajfdklj

Even so, the way she talks about him, like... Maybe it's just me, and my rose-colored glasses, but she doesn't seem to dislike him nearly as much as she could? She kind of just. Says these things as statements about him, without any real vitriol behind them. This is just kind of how he is. She even seems to have a sense of humor about it.

And again! She has so much more to say about him than almost any other character.

I'd like to think part of her...affection? of sorts? for him is simple camaraderie. Circumstances are dire. Past, present, and future are all bleak. Things like that deepen bonds with your foxhole buddies. Sampo is dependent on Natasha for work and pay and a place to get away from the Guards. Natasha is dependent on Sampo for food and medicine and life-saving supplies. They both heavily rely on each other in this harsh environment, and they have a really nice back-and-forth that I appreciate with how they help each other out by owing favors as payment.

And the other part, I'd like to think actually IS because she knows him very well- maybe not things like his past, but she knows some of his personality and beliefs, and finds them agreeable enough. She even has the audacity to call him a poor liar at one point- Sampo! Of all people! Known by someone well enough to be caught out as a poor liar! He's either intentionally leading her on and letting her think she's caught him, or Natasha just really is that good. Neither would surprise me tbh

I think Natasha is also just uniquely prepared to understand Sampo, and is able to see his better sides without letting her judgement be clouded by his slimy manner. She's able to appreciate that his actions ARE extremely helpful, regardless of how he does them.

Even as she acknowledges that he isn't always trustworthy, she does still choose to rely on him and give him chances. She was pleasantly surprised by him here, but she still chose to trust him with this in the first place. She never treats him harshly, and she never seems to bear any kind of grudge with him.

But my favorite example of Natasha being able to understand Sampo? My favorite is this. This one little throwaway line, that didn't even involve him, wasn't even about him. I feel like Natasha is capable of knowing and understanding Sampo on a deeper level than most people can, solely because of this.

She gets it.

(As a fun bonus: In the current trashcan event, there's a simple mechanic where you get one trial character for the initial battle. Then, for the harder stage, you get that same trial character, plus a couple of extras. This is true for every Proof- except for Sampo's. In his harder stage, you use Asta, Black Swan, and Luocha. But in his initial stage, in an event all about friendship and relationships...)

[polyshodivorce]

Hoh/deaf wxs

Tsukasa who’s always talked too loudly and has to ask people to repeat what they said. Saki’s friends noticing she tends to talk slowly and use her hands when explaining things by habit even when her brother isn’t around.

The Otori family learning sign language. Emu getting so excited that she signs too quickly for anyone to keep up and decorating her hearing aids with stickers. WxS always leaving the lights on at sleepovers so she can read their lips during late night sleepy conversations.

Rui noticing he’s beginning to find it a bit difficult to follow what others are saying or doesn’t realize when someone’s talking to him. Always unconsciously leaning in when he’s spoken to. Putting in extra effort to make his shows visually engaging and full of easy to follow gestures so they can still be enjoyed without music or dialogue.

Robo-Nene programed to sign as she speaks. Nene shyily asking people if they can come closer when speaking to her. She used to worry whether she could perform or act properly, so she always takes extra time to memorize not only her own lines, but everyone else’s, so she’ll never miss her cue even if she doesn’t hear it.

[xxbritishrosexx]

Fluff, fluff everywhere... Since someone mentioned 2003 Leosagi in my last post (don't worry if you gave me ideas on that post/ask, I'm gonna do them.. some just takes time, but feel free to give me more of those, I'm always open for some new prompts to draw) my brain went to fluff mode and couldn't decide one of these to finish so I finished them all. Could you imagine the first one that came to mind was Leo somehow tripping/losing balance and Usagi being there to catch him? Yeaaahhh... Uh.. don't question my train of thought

And a good excuse to try some other coloring style if it sticks with me we'll see.

The close ups:

Boop that snoot-

[milkbreadtoast]

sharing this here too.... Got up to ep 47 in the my s class hunters webtoon and asked a korean friend about Sung Hyunje's way of speaking bc i noticed he seemed to talk like an old man..... MFNSMDBSNN THIS IS AMAZING 😭😭🤭

edit: apparently there's a lore reason he talks like that that neither of us knew at the time... i appreciate everyone who's holding back from telling me what it is🫡

just to be thorough i asked about -군(-gun) too which is how SHJ calls HYJ (han yoojin-gun) (in ep 46-47 at least) (i believe the jp equivalent is -kun, which more ppl r prob familiar w)

[do-you-know-this-cat]

Do You Know This Cat?

[fairys-enid]

⚫ ⚫ ⚫ \\ ⚫ 🌈 ⚫ // ⚫ ⚫ ⚫

[Divider🌸]

art by @froujuice

SpokeIsHere

ft. Kandi a drymiau am @spokestims

SpokeIsHere

ft. Kandi and drums for @spokestims

Hi! I hope this lives up to your standers lol, you didn't request anything specific, so i hope this is good! If you wanted something different/anything changing, feel free to request again. I love making stimboards for Spoke!

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

[ID: the first image is a fluffy tabby cat sleeping with her head laid on a blanket. She's in the sun and looks very happy. The second image is a less fluffy tabby cat sleeping on an electric blanket. He is sleeping on his side. The third image is both tabbies sleeping curled into rolls on the floor /end ID]

Behold my cinnamon rolls! Benny and Jenny.

-------

submitted by @antignocchiphase

OUUGUUGHH THE ROOLLS

[karaspal]

jon’a age up genuinely becomes a good story once you start looking at it as a metaphor. like grant morrison said, superman has normal problems on bigger scales. and this story is meant to represent growing up. there are three angles i’d like to point out.

nightwing (2016) #103

the first, and most obvious, is the feeling of growing up too quickly. it goes hand to hand with the regret of not doing enough reckless, fun things while you had the freedom to. a lot of people, especially in current years, feel like they’ve missed out on the teen experience. it’s usually due to mental health struggles and not having the energy to - the volcano represents that. a prison that holds jon and stops him from enjoying his youth.

superman (2018) #7

the second angle is from a parent’s point of view. parents usually feel like the time they spend with their kid flies by too quick. lois and clark saw jon being a happy 10-year-old and just three weeks later, he was 17 years old. this is a representation of the “they grow up too fast”. although, in their case, they do grow up too fast indeed.

action comics (2016) #1038

the most overlooked and, in my opinion, interesting angle is the portrayal of the distance that grows between the kid and their parents during their teen years. being a teenager is hard enough, but having parents who don’t understand your struggles makes it even worse. those are the years you develop your own self, instead of mimicking your parents. it’s a period of self-discovery. sometimes, parents are understanding and helpful. sometimes, they refuse to accept you are your own person so in their head, you stay the last age they liked you. this disconnect, where parents cling to an idealized version of their child, often leads them to ignore the teenager's struggles. and in doing so, a rift forms in the relationship.

it isn’t exactly like this with clark and jon, of course. had jon grew up with his folks, clark would’ve been more than happy to help his son navigate finding his true self. but jon didn’t. in clark’s eyes, he went from 10 to 17 in a matter of weeks. it’s hard to understand your son when suddenly he isn’t the kid who followed you around all the time anymore. when clark is wounded, he dreams of jon as a kid. it’s how he sees him still. and that’s not fair to jon, who is very much not that kid anymore.

mere weeks before that, jon begged clark to stay, but clark reassured him it’s fine. he couldn’t see how much jon truly was struggling. jon didn’t want clark to stay because he is superman, he wanted clark to stay because he needed his dad.

and clark tries to be a good dad, he does. and jon wants them to be close again, he wants nothing more. but the first step in mending their relationship is to accept it could never go back to the way it was. this is a time long passed, and they have to find a new footing in their relationship.

i’m sure there are more angles to this story, but those are the three i see. it’s not the best story, but once you looked at it as a metaphor and not a literal story, it becomes better.

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

[cescalr]

Oooh, definitely glee for the fandom asks! <3

Always with the hornets' nests with these ones, I see! Though i don't think there's a fandom out there that isn't in some way a hornets' nest once it gets large enough... hm. Alright. I'm just gonna be as honest as i can be about this, and tag accordingly.

Glee:

my favourite female character: augh. argh. ouph. so difficult. so hard. Since I'm working off of half-remembered show and half recently-rewatched show... its a tossup. Mercedes, Santana, Quinn. Probably Mercedes. She did nothing wrong ever in her entire life <3 well okay maybe except that one time she smashed kurt's car windows (but it was a banger song, though). Can't say Santana because of the Biphobia TM and other things like excessive use of bigotry-based insults, and Quinn. Oh god girl. Cheating is not cool! Funnily enough! So I find them really interesting but 'favourite' is hard to say. Mercedes. Mercedes for sure <3

my favourite male character: Blaine sam blaine sam blaine sam yes. I am imitating ripping petals off of flowers and coming to a conclusion based on which is the last name i said. So I guess that means Sam! But really this is a tie.

my favourite book/season/etc: Mannnnn idk. I don't like shows for seasons as-a-whole. Also i could not tell you what happened in any given season if you held a gun to my head. I'm not good at that. The only shows i know 'seasons' of are Buffy and Teen Wolf because i've watched them like 100000000000 times (exaggeration) for various reasons (mostly fanfiction research).

my favourite episode (if its a tv show): I can tell you my LEAST favourite episode (blame it on the alcohol, thank you Kurt king of biphobia! this is a persona foible it's not the worst episode in the show. by far. by far. it's kind of an average one. I'm just angry at it.) BUT er. Favourite? Idk. Genuinely some of the earlier Kurt-centric stuff was really well done (his convo with Burt... <3) and the Quinn giving birth accompanied by bohemian rhapsody was obviously iconic, but if I'll be honest I couldn't name any episodes of this show (other than That One previously stated, anyway). And yeah most of the time they were named after song titles and No i don't remember those song titles either. I'm just so bad at this. My memory is that of a goldfish's being haphazardly bounced around on a sieve.

my favourite cast member: it would be really funny if I said Demi Lovato [she counts!] but the truth is N/A: i don't know these people !!! They are strangers!! (i don't. follow celebrities. at all. I couldn't even name most of them. They're just people doing a job and their lives are irrelevant to me beyond their ability to perform that job well. I do not need to know where they live and what coffee they drink. Stalker shit tbh. I'm kind of a very private person myself, so rpf-adjacent stuff just... creeps me out. I've never watched a single cast interview in my lifetime and I'm not about to start!)

my favourite ship: Difficult to say! Grave and obvious lie. Blam. It's blam. Quintana is a close runner up though Santana really needs to stop dating people who cheat on the regular (I'll accept Quinn has grown enough not to do this by the time a Quintana coupling would be viable - and satisfying in terms of character arcs - narratively speaking).

a character I’d die defending: Blaine Anderson did something wrong for sure but like Kurt did it first so shrugs. Cancels out. Bad for each other! Case closed!

a character I just can’t sympathize with: genuinely don't remember if I had one of those the first time around because I was like 10 and just didn't pay attention if I didn't care, but Terri and her racist self take that 'prize' this time, alongside the obvious predator in the room [original choir teacher. Sandy? I forget his name immediately after hearing it. He doesn't deserve to be remembered]. Also JBI is just.... a yikes character all around. I mean, he's a blatant stereotype for one, in a the people who wrote this person don't like jews kind of way. Unfortunately common stereotype too, for the era, so not only is he that, he's also lazy. Just a one-note pervert who's the butt of various antisemitic 'jokes' you've heard from era-peer shows a million times over, tired and awful and a sour reminder of bigotry that continues to this day. Really regrettable character who's lack of redeeming qualities was probably purposeful. (I know Rachel and tina are also jewish, but this comes up very rarely and mostly only when santana needs to say something kind of fucked up, as is her modus operandi, for 'comic relief'. Tina's jewish-ness wasn't even canon for several seasons, because she didn't have a surname or a family or anything resembling complex character depth for several seasons. The one time I really remember Rachel's religion being important was when she was pressuring Kurt into believing in some kind of god, which??? don't do that. Bad example. Trying to guilt trip a friend into faith sucks. I take back what i said earlier Mercedes did that too. Boo. Girls try again that was a bad showing all around. Though i have no idea why Kurt went the acupuncture route as his 'secular' option but i think that has to do a lot with the writers doing literally no research ever once in their lives (you can tell they don't by the way they write the football segments of the show, which make no sense according to football fans who watch Glee, of which there are numerous because real life isn't like fiction where you can only like music or sports. Most of the kids in my school year were doing the most of everything ever if they were the 'popular' ones - we do that differently; popularity isn't really based on who know know; for some bizzare reason literally everyone knew who I was? Even people I'd never spoken to?? - but more about like... how much you can do, I guess. Overachievers, but I'm not saying that negatively; these people were generally - generally - very nice, and surprisingly chill for people who had no spare time whatsoever. I'm not entirely sure when they slept; A* across the board, at least one sport, at least one instrument, several extracurriculars, parties every weekend, dozens of friends and an s.o. . Eh? Way too much going on. Scary lifestyle! Impressive burnout rate, probably. Er. Tangent! Back to the scheduled programming).) There's uhhhh there's a lot of bad characters on the show, but i'd say Sandy and Terri and her equally but more loudly racist sister are truly completely irredeemable ones. Like they're not interesting or anything, they're just there to be narrative annoyances (which, in the case of Sandy specifically, is insane. Arrest that man!!! He has actively sexually assaulted minors!!!).

a character I grew to love: difficult to say because I tend to just make an opinion and stick to it. Also i don't remember who i liked at first and who i didn't, this show came out when i was eight. I didn't watch it until I was a little older than that, of course, but I frankly have spotty memory until my late teens, so! I'm not sure!! Quinn, probably. Pink-hair-era Quinn helped me understand her more, and seeing the moments of kindness hidden behind practical cruelty, when you understand her family and situation, makes things make a lot more sense. It takes a lot to get me to sympathise with a cheater, but I can see where Quinn was getting all turned around in her head about life because of her upbringing and socialisation, not to mention the profoundly negative impact cheerios had on her mentally and that the school's culture in general was not exactly a breeding ground for empathy and optimism.

my anti otp: can you tell (klaine). I don't dislike Kurt!!! Please let him have a fun chillaxed boyfriend in new york with his vogue friends. But also please stop attempting to control other people's diets thank you!! Thank you!! I'm of mixed feelings. Blaine and Kurt both did at least one bad, relationship-ending thing, and proved over and over again that they just weren't on the same wavelength in regards to life goals and ways of living it. They can't even share the same living space, which is kind of required for a functional marriage. I don't know, it just seems like they settled for their first proper, serious boyfriend even if that's not really the best match, and I... wish they'd just got to see more of life first, you know? They got married at like 20! Or something! I'm 23, I cannot imagine getting married at 20. That's a baby. Let them live first!

(same for Santana and Brittney, imo. I also don't really like them together because Santana and Brittney have very different ideas regarding monogamy, which is just never going to go down well in the long run. If your girl cheats on you like twenty times and tells you to your face its not cheating in her view of things, but you think it is, break up with her because you'll just make each other miserable. Brittney sort of seems incapable of feeling guilt but if she were, this kind of moral pressure would be Not Good, and obviously Santana isn't comfortable with the idea and doesn't have to be!! Just move on!!! Find other people!!!! Don't marry your first girlfriend if you've broken up like ten times this is simple!!!! Please!!!! But Klaine wins out over Brittana because - in my opinion, glee fandom please do not persecute me, I am known for this specific thing - I see... interactions that verge on abusive between Klaine that I don't see in Brittana. So. Oof? Ex; use of public perception to disguise attack; deliberately hurting Blaine in a stage-combat fencing match (you are not meant to make actual contact in these) and thus using Blaine's own dislike of making his difficulties common knowledge against him in order to 'punish' him. This is no good! Don't do this!!.[Also just to err vaguepost about a comment.... that is. not. what i would call passive aggressive. Physically attacking someone with a sword - no matter the type of sword, fencing foils hurt just as much, they're just not stab-you sharp... er, these days - is just straight-up aggressive.]).

Note that negative things stick in the mind better than positive ones; on a rewatch I may well alter my opinion!

But also I'm really, really stubborn. So it's not likely. Klaine.